#while a creepy ah troll thing was outside

[nestedfeathers]

The God from my dream

i wish i could remember where i got this picture from- i made this piece so long ago now.

#digital art #digital painting #digital illustration #oc #oc art #monster #a dream i had #it was about this young angry girl #she ran into the forest for some reason #and met this huge old god #he would lurk through the tree's #only his long neck and head would be visible #the rest of his body obscured by foliage #anyway they got married at some point and he had no idea what was going on #there was also a really tense scene where she and her sister were stuck in an old cargo train stuck in a tree #while a creepy ah troll thing was outside #he has feathery bird arms #i feel like that is an important detail #i wish i could find the concept doodles i made for the drawing #:(

[writings-of-a-daphodil]

Fire Keeper: Chapter 7

Douxie x fem reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist in bio!

Series Summary: You are Jim’s older sister who is taking a break from college and has moved back home to Arcadia. You end up joining Jim and his friends on their adventures. Chapter 7 summary: You head to Florida with the rest of the Trollhunter's to get the next Triumbic stone.

“If Wumpas don’t let outsiders into their camp, how do we get the stone?” Jim asked as you got ready to ride the gyre again. You weren’t exactly looking forward to it.

“Jim makes a good point. I’ve read about them, they do not like outsiders,” you added.

“Don’t worry! I already have a plan! It’s rudimentary.” Blinky paused. “If Quagawumps are hostile to outsiders, we’ll need an insider! One of you is going to pretend to be the human reincarnation of the Shattered King! It’s genius!”

“What? That’s insane!” Jim yelled as the gyre started spinning you to your destination.

“You, Tobias, bear a most striking resemblance to their dead king,” Blinky explained as he drove.

“Me?” Toby asked and you looked at him.

“I see it,” you said nodding.

“Yes. The Quagawumps are short and stout in stature. It’ll be a role of a lifetime. Mostly because if they see past our little charade, the time of our lives will end,” Blinky said enthusiastically as you got off the gyre. “Well, we better get a move on!”

“This place is creepy. Where are we?” Claire asked and you smiled at her. It was nice to have another girl in the group and she was really nice.

“A place renowned for its vast swamps, theme parks, and retirement communities. Florida!” Blinky exclaimed as you walked through the green swampy path.

“Come on, Your Eminence. Your people await,” CLaire called to Toby as he hesitated.

“So, Claire, how are you liking your time as a member of team Trollhunter?” You asked as you hopped over some stones.

“All of this is fascinating, who knew there was a whole world living underneath Arcadia!” She exclaimed.

You chuckled. “It was quite a shock.”

Aaarrrgghh grunted ahead of you and you slowed, ready to summon your sword—which you were slowly improving with—or incant a spell.  The tall grass rustled and you opened your mouth when Wumpas began chanting and pointing weapons at your group.

“Mmm! Humans! A taste not common.” One of the Wumpas commented and you forced yourself to smile kindly. They hadn’t seen Toby yet, and it wouldn’t be good if you started blasting the Wumpas.

“Toby?” Claire asked as the Wumpas got closer.

“Okay,” Toby said, stepping in front. “It is I, the Shower King!”

“Shattered,” Blinky hissed and you tried not to face-palm.

“The Shattered King! Reincarnated as a human,” Toby amended, making ghost noises.

“You are not a ghost,” Jim whispered and the Wumpas began chanting. You didn’t know if this was good or bad so you didn’t let down your guard.

“Gunmar kill you. You cannot be. Prove you are he,” another Wumpa commanded. “Show us great magics, god king.”

They continued chanting and you got ready to do a spell for Toby, but Blinky pushed your hands down and shook his head.

“Ahem...?” Toby asked, panicking, but you shook your head.

“Okay. All right, now. Stand back. This one’s not for the faint of heart. Abara-cadabara, nothing up my sleeve-ara!” Toby called out and then proceeded to ‘detach’ his thumb from his hand. You gave Blinky a look and he just shrugged.

“He dismembered his hand and then rejoined his flesh and bone!” A Wumpa whispered in awe.

“His magic is so powerful,” another one murmured. They began chanting.

“Hi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yah! Hi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yah!” They called.

“The lost king, retuned!” A Wumpa announced as you walked into a clearing.

“I don’t believe it,” Jim muttered as you turned to see a statue of a troll that looked remarkably like Toby.

“Neither do I,” Claire muttered back.

“Ugh, I know right? He doesn’t even look anything like me,” Toby said, rolling his eyes. You shook your head, smiling, as a few Wamaps picked up Toby and began admireing him.

Soon they stopped and began to sing. The song was beautiful and while it sounded sorrowful, it also sounded peaceful. It reminded you of water, of a stream. You stood there with your eyes closed, allowing yourself to enjoy the music.  

You were amazed and excited. No one in the books you had read had ever heard a Wumpa sing.

“A song of a Quagawump. No outsider has ever heard such a rare delight,” Blinky whispered, barely audible.

“Catchy!” Aaarrrgghh hummed in agreement.

“Awesome Sauce!” Toby called.

“This song is so beautiful,” Claire said, turning to Jim. You stepped back and walked to a table to give them some privacy.

“Ah! Fresh swamp maggots!” Blinky exclaimed, taking a bite out of some very slimy and gross eel-like food.

“Ugh!” Claire exclaimed and you gagged. Jim took a seat at another table and took a bite, immediately dropping to the floor and spitting it out. You decided to push the bowl away from you.

Toby sat on his throne and Blinky went to speak to him. You watched as you polightly refused all the food they offered, if you got hungry you would rather wait.

A Wumpa suddenly grabbed Blinky in a choke hold and you lept to your feet, ready to defend him. However, you sat down again when the Wumpa let go of Blinky.

The room became silent as Toby began to recount his life story and since you had been around for a good deal of it you hid behind Aaarrrgghh and read on your phone.

You had just come across a section on Creeper’s Poison when Jim went to speak with Toby.

Soon the Wumpas began to clap and stomp so you put your phone away. “My king? After journey, what is song you bring?” One of the Wumpas asked.

“Hmm. Jim, song?” Toby asked, but Jim just stuttered and backed away.

You opened your mouth to say something that would help Toby, but he took a deep breath and began singing his own song. You cringed a little, especially when the Wumpas didn’t seem to like the song, but you relaxed when they began singing and dancing.

Blinky and Aaarrrgghh began to dance while you sat and smiled at them. You couldn’t help but imagine dancing with Douxie, but you snapped yourself out of it. Crushing on Douxie would only lead to heartbreak.

Jim walked up to you, saving you from your thoughts, and sat down.

“You good?” You asked.

“I guess. Toby won’t ask for the stone until I ask Claire to the dance.”

“Ohh, sorry, Jimbo.”

“It’s fine,” he sighed and you patted his back. Jim could not dance for the life of him. You had tried to teach him once and it only led to ruin.

Claire walked over and held her hand out to Jim. “Come on.”

“Uh...” Jim looked to you for help, but you shook your head. It would be awkward, but he would have fun.

“It’s catchy,” Claire stated and you could tell she was growing more nervous the longer Jim hesitated.

“Oh sure in a minute. Ohh, I’m just digesting,” Jim stuttered out after you gave him a little nudge.

“Everyone right. Wuss. Wuss,” Aaarrrgghh said as he danced past and you frowned at him when you saw both Claire and Jim blush. Peer pressure wouldn’t help Jim.

“He’s correct, master Jim. Wussing out,” Blinky added and you glared at him as well.

“You’ll be fine, Jim,” you said, soothingly.

“Well, why don’t you dance, Y/n? Would rather dance with Douxie,” Jim teased, but you could tell he was starting a conversation to buy himself time. Nevertheless you blushed.

“Who’s Douxie?” Claire asked.

“Y/n’s friend,” Jim explained.

“Really Jim?” You raised your eyebrows and glared at him and he seemed to realize that he shouldn’t taunt you.

He turned to Blinky instead. “How many people did you tell?”

You rolled your eyes at your brother, but decided to let it go.

“So...Douxie?” Claire asked, obviously trying to start a conversation after Jim practically ignored her.

“We work different shifts at Mr. Benoit’s, but we always bump into each other. We became friends.”

“Just friends?” Claire asked, seeming genuinely interested. Oh, yes, it was definitely nice to have another girl in the group.

“I don’t know, he’s known as a bit of a flirt with everyone. He’s nice though.”

“Mhmm,” Claire said, nodding and you smiled at her.

Aaarrrgghh walked up as Jim finished talking with Blinky and asked Claire to dance. “Can’t go wrong.”

Jim sighed and you gave him a thumbs up as he joined the dance and eventually danced with Claire. You smiled at the sweet moment they were having, trying not to imagine it was you, there with Douxie.

“What manner mischief this be?!” A large green troll yelled, stomping into the room. You jumped up, distracted from your thoughts and ready to defend yourself and your friends.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who’s this joker?” Toby asked and you readied a spell.

“It is Blungo, the pretend king. You fight him, eh?” One of the Wumpa’s explained and you began to walk closer. This troll did not look like good news.

“Why humans here?” Blungo asked.

“He is our true king. Returned!” A Wumpa explained.

“What?” Blungo grunted.

“Hi, Mr. Blungo,” Toby said, scared.

“Shatter-ed King cannot be. King was shatter-ed! King am I!” Blungo protested and you picked up your pace. Toby was way too vulnerable up there.

“My favorite musical!” Toby said, chuckling nervously as Blungo picked him up.

“What?” Blungo asked.

“It’s like a play with singing,” Toby explained, but Blungo just yelled at him.

“Use your magic, my King. Cast Blungo away you will!” The Wump advised.

“That’s the plan,” you mumbled as Toby tried the dismemberment trick again.

Blungo laughed, “Dismemberment amuse Blungo. Now, I dismember you!”

“Oh, boy! Does anybody have a dove? Toby asked as you carefully stepped behind Blungo.

Blungo began shaking him. “Hey, please don’t kill me, Blungo. I’m not the king, okay?” Toby admitted.

“Why you here?” Blungo asked as you thought of a spell.

“I only made it up to get the stone.” As Toby admitted these things Angor Rot appeared and stabbed Blungo with a dagger that glowed green. It was creepers sun poison, having just read about it you were sure.

You summoned your sword as the Wumpas began to panic and Angor Rot gave a quick spiel. Jim summoned his armor and you sent an orange blast at Angor Rot.

The shot missed and hit Blungo, shattering him.

“Jim, he’s taking the stone!” Toby yelled as Angor Rot tried to grab the green jem.

You jogged to your brother, without Daylight he was vulnerable. Before you arrived Angor charged Jim and before you could do anything Jim had a new weapon in his hands.

Aaarrrgghh charged Angor Rot and you, Jim, and Aaarrrggghhh took the fight to the trees.

“Be careful! His blade is poisoned with Creeper’s Sun!” Blinky yelled as you leapt off a branch that was quickly turning to stone.

“One cut and you’ll be turned to stone,” you added.

You tried to strike Angor with your sword, but your balance was lost and you levitated to a lower branch. You watched in horror as Aaarrrgghh took over the fight and got nicked with Angor's dagger. You screamed and flew to meet Angor Rot. He would not live when met with your vengeance.

You hit the branch hard, but as you appeared Angor Rot teleported away to Toby who was holding the stone.

“Hey, everyone! I’ve got the stone!” Toby announced, but seconds after he said it Angor Rot grabbed it.

Angor Rot slapped Toby and he smiled as he walked into his portal.

You screamed in anguish and Claire said something as well, but you couldn't hear. You screamed again though when Claire followed Angor Rot through the portal, tackling him into the shadow realm.

“Claire!” Jim yelled and the seconds ticked by painfully before Claire reappeared with the shadow staff, but without the stone.

It was bad that you lost the stone, but you were incredibly glad Claire was safe and it was a relief to see Aaarrrgghh wasn't going to die anytime soon. He would be able to find help in Trollmarket.

So, you said your goodbyes, eager to get home. Though this place was beautiful, it was not safe.

~~~~

"Really, Tobes?" You asked as you walked him and Aaarrrgghh to his house.

"What? Claire has the shadow staff so I was thinking Shadow Dancer for her. We already call Jim the Trollhunter and so we should call you Fire Keeper. I haven't thought of one for myself though."

"Fire Keeper, cool nickname," Aaarrrgghh added and you smiled.

"Why Fire Keeper?" You asked.

"Your magic looks like fire." Toby shrugged as he walked into the house.

He looked to you and Aaarrrghh, but you shook your head. "I need a minute. I want to ask Aaarrrgghh a question," you explained and Toby nodded, shutting the door.

"I saw you got nicked by Angor's dagger, are you okay?" You asked. Concern had been eating away at you for the entire journey home.

"Fine, talk to Vendel in morning."

You nodded," If you need anyhting, I'm here, big guy."

"Yes and Fire Keeper good nickname, fits you," Aaarrrgghh added and you smiled.

"Tell Toby I like it." You gave Aaarrrgghh a hug and wished him goodnight.

As you walked across the street from your house you tried not to focus on Aaarrrgghh's predicament. You were taken from your thoughts though, when you heard something rattle a trashcan.

"Ugh! Raccon's!" you groaned. You performed a spell that made your hand glow so you could see better, but what you saw was not raccons.

You didn't recognize the creature, but there was no doubt in your mind that it was magic. You found yourself very relived that you knew how to vanish monsters back to limbo.

You began to say the spell, but the thing bolted. You gave chase and raced through the woods after it.

It eventually found it's way to the streets of Arcadia and you hoped that no one would be out. You found yourself near the bookshop and so you you were more or less familiar with the area.

You cut into an Alley, hoping to gain an advantage when you ran right into Douxie.

“Oh! Y/n, uh, what are-what are you doing here?” Douxie asked as you skidded to a halt.

“I’m, um...going for a jog. Yes, I am going for a jog.”

“In that?” Douxie gestured to your outfit and you smiled, nervously.

“Well, it wasn't planned," you said.

“Okay...What have you been up to. I haven’t seen you at the bookstore in a while,” he asked and you blushed.

“I got a temporary job as a babysitter,” you explained. It wasn't a true lie, you had been spending a lot of time 'babysitting' Blinky.

"That is nuclear," Douxie said and you heard a crash sound behind him. It has to be whatever you were chasing.

"Um, yeah, nuclear. Well, I need to get going," you said, waving goodbye.

"Nice seeing you, Y/n."

"You too." You sprinted off into the alley, trying to resist the urge to look behind you. However, you still caught a glimpse of Douxie watching as you turned the corner.

****

Here it is. This is sort of setting up the scenes and relationships and there will definitely be more Douxie in future chapters. The next chapter will be out soon and it will probably a pretty long one. Thank y'all so much for reading this and liking this, it means so much to me when I see the notifications. Have a fantastic and safe day/night!

P.S. if you want to be on the taglist feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn’t.

Chapter 8: https://writings-of-a-daphodil.tumblr.com/post/628215466866950144/fire-keeper-chapter-8

#douxie x reader #douxie imagine #trollhunters imagine #wizards imagine #tales of arcadia imagine #toa imagine #douxie #toa douxie #wizards douxie #wizards #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #toa

[painless-innit-colourful]

‘Weeping Headstones - Prologue’

The beginning of a Doctor Who AU I’ll never finish: Tommy and Tubbo are all set to hang out and go stargazing when- Well, they never can get a bit of peace, can they? Feat. some suspicious statues in the shape of Weeping Angels...

It promises to be a beautiful starry night. That’s what Foolish apparently told Tubbo earlier that day as he hung around Snowchester. Tommy doesn’t know how he knows that or how far he trusts it to be true, but if he’s right, he’s glad Tubbo’ll be here to spend it with him. It’s been a good week or so since they’ve had the chance to go stargazing; between bad weather, Tubbo’s responsibilities in Snowchester, Tommy’s new hotel project and yesterday’s nuke test, they’ve both been rather busy lately.

Just the thought of it makes him clear his throat on reflex, and it brings a smile to his lips. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t have radiation poisoning. Like, eighty percent. Okay, maybe he should’ve been more careful, but since he and Tubbo emerged from Dream’s creepy-ass vault with their lives Tommy’s been feeling rather indestructible. Not to bring Hamilton back into it, but he couldn’t seem to die. Besides, they had medicine, he hadn’t been accidentally hit by a nuke, and Dream was in the prison. Nothing could possibly pose him any threat right now.

As if to immediately prove him wrong, there’s a sharp ‘TWANG’ from only a few feet behind him, accompanied by a sharp whistle of air. Tommy’s reflexes from fighting a dozen wars and never knowing who to trust kick in, and he sinks down on the bench as an arrow sails through the empty space where his head just was. He has no armour and only a random sword on him: on the other hand, it’s just a skeleton. He draws his sword, dropping to one knee using the bench as a shield. The skeleton stands on the path outside his house, nocking another arrow on its bow. Tommy takes advantage of that brief moment, vaulting the side of the bench to run at the skeleton. He lands one hit on the wretched thing’s shoulder when he hears a familiar hiss from behind him to the right. He lets out a cry of surprise and swings in a wide arc, striking the creeper that had also snuck up on him and sending it back a couple metres or so. He scrambles back in the direction of L’Manberg, watching as the creeper shuffles forward and the skeleton fires a lazy shot to the side of it.

“You okay?” Tubbo sticks his head out of Tommy’s doorway, obviously alerted by Tommy’s surprised squeaking. “Nothing I can’t handle.” He says quickly, darting forward and delivering a second strike to the creeper, sending it reeling back again. Tubbo appears to disregard his statement, levelling a loaded crossbow at the skeleton and pinging a bolt off its skull. It makes a dull thudding sound and leaves a sizable dent. Tubbo reloads again, but the skeleton shoots first. Tommy doesn’t even need to dodge, as the arrow sticks in the creeper with a sound like someone stepping on a stick of TNT - don’t ask how he knows what that sounds like. There’s another hollow thud as Tubbo cracks another bolt off the skeleton’s body, and the magic holding its bones together disintegrates along with its form.

“We can call that one a team effort.” Tubbo shoots him a wink and goes to retreat back inside when he’s stopped by a small gasp from Tommy. He turns back, “What is it?” The blonde boy is sifting delicately through the pile of ash left by the creeper, revealing a round of black shellac like a palaeontologist uncovering a precious fossil. Neither boy can suppress the grin that forms. “Which is it?” Tubbo asks, and Tommy lifts up the disc to show the red centre. “Blocks again.” He leans back and gets to his feet. “You want it?”

“Sure.” Tommy passes it to Tubbo with a gentleness reserved only for discs and injured friends, and Tubbo gives him a genuine smile as he goes to put it in his ender chest. As he carefully puts it away, a warm feeling spreads through him. Contentment. He keeps an ear out for any more Tommy mishaps.

The boy in question is currently messing with the jukebox, resetting Cat since it had stopped playing since his encounter with the skeleton-creeper duo. The familiar synth melody begins to play, and Tommy’s about to recline back on his bench when he hears a series of small crashing noises, like someone’s dropped a frying pan down a flight of stairs. Furthermore, the noise came from the opposite direction to his house. He looks in the direction of the downtown SMP but sees nothing- No, wait.

Sticking just above the footpath is the top of a head. Someone’s crouched on the Prime Path stairs up to his house, and they’re watching him. Tommy maintains eye contact while getting up, going for a staring contest to psyche them out, whoever they are; he hasn’t figured that part out yet. They’ve got grey hair and a very stony gaze that turns his stomach over, but apart from that, he can’t make out anything since their body is out of his sightline. He makes his way over, head whirling with thoughts. Is this the apparently infamous Addison Rae??

Tubbo’s communicator buzzes unexpectedly. He yanks the microphone down to his mouth with two fingers, hands full of cr*p from Tommy’s chests. “Tubbooooo…” From the sound of Tommy’s voice, he’s making a regretful face and has just done something stupid. “On a scale of one to started a war, how bad is it?” A loud sigh is transmitted through the headphones in regrettably crisp quality. “Different scale. This is like that time I mistook a scarecrow for an attractive woman.” Tubbo sniggers. “What happened?”

“I feel like a foolish man, Tubbo.” “What did you do?” “I thought someone was watching me from the stairs, right? But it’s just this creepy-ass statue.” He plows through Tubbo’s giggles, kicking the statue with his foot in irritation. Part of its arm goes with it. “I’m being trolled with an oversized garden gnome.” “Weird. What’s it look like?” “It’s- It kinda looks like it belongs in a graveyard actually. It’s an angel, but its hands are on the stairs and everything, like it crawled up here to get me.” “Ah yes, angels. The most terrifying of monsters.” “I’m gonna ask Foolish if there’s a family relation-” “Oh god don’t-” “Or if I can kick it off the stairs like the other one. There’s a broken one down there.” He relayed, peering down at a pile of grey limbs and ash on the ground far below.

“I say pay it no mind. I’m nearly done.” Tubbo passes on, dumping an armful of saplings into a corner of the appropriate chest, inventively named ‘nature sh*t’. “How long does it take to find drugs in my chests? If it’s that hard, we have a serious problem, and not just with your eyesight.” Tommy complains, putting on a show of frustrated gestures to no one as he makes his way back to the bench. He flops down, ignoring the acute feeling of being watched sourcing from the statue on the stairs. “Tommy, looking in your chests is like trying to find the button in Pogtopia.” The blonde boy sits up straight, his back cracking in several places. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Tommy can hear the smile in Tubbo’s voice the next time he speaks. “Lot of stuff that looks about right, but none of it actually does what you want it to.”

Tubbo hears the beginning of a reply masked with an undignified splutter, and he’s about to shoot something back first when the scream rips the sarky comment out of his mouth. He sprints up Tommy’s stairs and throws himself out the door, crossbow levelled… But there’s nothing there. Also, there’s no Tommy.

Panic starts to rise. He scours the immediate area, peering over the edge of the hill, along the path towards the hotel, all the way to the stairs down to L’Manberg, checking the houses opposite Tommy’s and down the stairs where Tommy said the angel statue was. And while there’s a broken pile of stone far below as he described… Whatever Tommy saw on the stairs is gone. 

There’s no time to worry about that.  “Tommy!”  His thoughts race. What could’ve happened?  The wind starts to pick up, and it brings a whirring sound only just obscured by the dying strains of Cat.  “Tommy?! C’mon man, this isn’t funny!”  It can’t have been a mob, there was nothing there. There’s no one else in the area; even so, Tubbo loads his crossbow and keeps it handy. He hasn’t been killed: there’s no blood and no body.

Could Dream have escaped the prison?

The thought sends a chill through him, rivalled only by a frigid Snowchester morning. Tommy hasn’t told him, properly, about his exile yet. There’s still a lot of leftover feelings involved for both of them. Even so, it’s plain to see: Dream hurt Tommy in ways neither of them had dealt with before: ways they should never have to deal with. If Dream were to get out of Pandora’s Vault and then go for Tommy before anyone could warn them…

Tubbo has his phone out and is halfway through typing Sam’s number when a small noise behind him causes his danger sense to start blaring like a nuclear siren. He turns, standing near Tommy’s door again, just in time to see a figure pass overheard, leaping from the roof of Tommy’s house and landing ahead of him. The figure makes a beeline for the bench, or more accurately the jukebox, and Tubbo watches dumbfounded as the figure lifts Cat from where it’s playing with practised ease and places it into their coat. The mystery thief is facing the wrong way for Tubbo to see their face, but he does take note of the pink hair tied back in a small ponytail, the ruby-red, fur-lined cloak and the sturdy boots leaving tread marks in the grass before they hop over the edge of the hill. He runs forward to perhaps get a shot in as they escape, only to be met with an empty landscape and the beginnings of a very pretty sunset.

He drops his phone to his side, jaw slack and nerves shaking. Someone’s trolling him and Tommy by moving an angel statue around. Then Tommy suddenly vanishes with a scream. And the icing on the absolute disaster cake: a possibly very powerful enemy’s just made off with one of the discs.

“Oh, f*ck me.”

#do you know how long i've had this sitting in my google drive #since February #and it's june now!! (i keep forgetting how far through the year we are) #anyway i lost motivation for this but why not show off what i have? #who knows #maybe one day... #dream smp #crim writes #tommyinnit #tubbo #clingy duo #dsmp fic

[prurientpuddlejumper]

A Deep and Rapid River, Ch. 7 [18+]

<- Chapter 6 | Chapter 8 ->

Summary: The horniest chapter yet. And the beginning of the end. 

Over the next few weeks, your arrangement works out smoothly—or it seems to, anyway. The creature remains hidden in the hayloft, undiscovered. As often as you are able, you are down in the barn with him, lying in his arms, sharing books and stories, or listening to the low, raspy panting of his breath in your ear and feeling the roughness of his hands on your bare skin. 

Sometimes you cry together, frustrated and isolated, wishing the world you lived in was kinder, gentler.

And sometimes you dare to ramble in the woods, breathing the spring air and the changing harmony of scents of each new crop of flowers brings, listening to bird songs, and trusting in the solitude of the forest to protect you from prying eyes.

Every day his wound heals a little more. The bone-shattering gun blast which would have taken a regular human months to recover from—if they recovered—improves at an astonishing rate. Each morning you open the barn door to discover more of your chores have already been done, the dark-haired creature grinning proudly at his work, until one day, he had finished everything. You try to convince him he doesn’t have to do all that work for you, but, rubbing his neck sheepishly, he explains that it’s not so much a favor as a way to get you to spend more time with him. 

You have to admit, it is much nicer this way. 

Some mornings, you lie with your head in his lap in a quiet meadow you discovered along a solitary bend in the river. You gaze lazily up at your protector, his eyes bright as he weaves together the delicate stems of flowers. You had shown him how to do that—at first his large hands and herculean strength made him clumsy, and you giggled in commiseration, but soon he was gliding through the task as if he were one with nature, while you still managed to snap the stems more often than not. So you lie back and watch him work, smiling as he adorns you with spring. A crown of daisies circles his black hair. 

How could anyone ever be afraid of such a gentle creature?

He still cries at every word of kindness you have for him. He still can't fathom how someone could show love toward an unlovable wretch—how you contradict his reality by telling him he is not unlovable at all, but loved. He still feels a sick squirming in his intestines at these incompatibilities of truth. Liar! Contemptible. Disgusting. Unworthy. LIES! his mind repeats at every compliment you bestow, but he swallows down the bile. Somehow, you find him pleasing, he reminds himself. He doesn’t flinch away as you touch his face, as you press mollifying kisses to his lips. He swore never to hurt you again, and he intends to keep his oath. 

With no more manual labor to toil through, you are free to proceed with your pet project, as promised: making your dear daemon look human enough to be accepted by polite society. 

Your theory is, the creature’s grim, unnatural complexion and titanic stature played only a small part in the terrified reception he received from everyone he had met (save you). His tattered, incomplete clothing, wild hair, and general state of dishevelment added to the bewilderment. People saw a crudely-dressed outsider emerging from the forest, of course they were afraid—they probably thought he was a cave troll! 

But if you could make him look cultured and dignified… 

After all, Lazarus Colloredo, whose half-formed brother protruded forth from his chest, exhibited himself at royal courts. It was common in any city to see humans with unusual physical characteristics begging on the streets, finding themselves unwanted in more sophisticated circles, but at least tolerated, and not feared or driven away. That would be enough.

People would tolerate your companion if they believed his condition were a natural one he was born with… if you could dress him to look like someone who had been born. 

This proves easier said than done. 

You find a few old clothes that fit him with a bit of tailoring, but you're not the best seamstress, so the finished result is only a small step above the rags he'd been wearing. And since you're not a cobbler, he still has no shoes. He looks disarrayed, and he needs to be perfect for this plan to have any chance of success.

Taming his wild mane is at least a pleasant task. After an initial battle with the worst of the tangles—filled with frustrated tugging and snagging of the brush, accompanied by his jolting and pitiful whimpering—you reach a comfortable, methodical pace. His whole body shivers as you run the brush through his hair, letting out soft noises of appreciation. The greatest impediment to progress is that he enjoys it too much. You’re no help, either. His noises encourage your hands to massage his scalp and purr words of praise to him, trying to draw more little breaths and groans from him. Soon he has flipped around and has you pinned under him, whispering sweet, sinful desires into your ear, grinding his tented pants against your thighs until you beg for him to take you right there. 

It takes a few tries, interrupted by his superhuman stamina and overly-human desire for touch, but soon his hair is smooth as black satin, and looks just like a courtly gentleman’s when pulled back. Though he doesn’t like it pulled back. It exposes too much of his face, which, he points out, still looks like a corpse’s, and no amount of grooming will disguise that. 

Reforming his appearance is not the only difficulty plaguing your idyllic life. 

   ***********************

Bess stops by the barn to see you one afternoon in late spring. With the creature’s reflexes nearly back at full strength, there is little risk of being caught—he hears her coming and disappears into the loft without a sound. 

“Come out to the dance tonight!” she implores. “It’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know…” You fidget with your fingernails, trying to think of a normal-sounding reason you can’t make it. 

“Pleeease? I haven’t seen you in ages! Now that you finally dumped the loser,” she adds with a mischievous wink, “I've got a friend I think might be perfect for you.”

Ah, so that’s what this is about. She usually doesn’t push so hard to get you to socialize when you’re not in the mood, more of a you-do-you attitude. But she’s playing matchmaker now. “Oh, no,” you laugh nervously. “I'm not getting back on that horse yet, it’s way too soon.”

“It’s been months. You’ve waited an appropriate amount of time,” she crosses her arms, tilting her head to the side. “Nobody will think you indecent for moving on too quickly, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

Is it getting hot in this barn? You pull at your collar. It feels like it’s getting hot in this barn. “It’s not that. It’s just, that whole situation was a disaster; I don’t want to go through it again.” There. That technically was not a lie. You’re not lying to your best friend. 

“Come on, don't give up!” she slaps your shoulders encouragingly. “Love can strike when you least expect it!”

“Now that I agree with,” you meant to state without emotion, but you can’t curb the secret smile blooming across your cheeks.

Bess picks up on it instantly, her mahogany curls bouncing in shock. “DID YOU FIND SOMEONE?”

“W-what? Nooo!” you backpedal unconvincingly. 

“Who is it? Someone I know? Where did you meet them?!”

“Shhh,” you hiss, looking past her exuberant eyes over her shoulder to try and see if your parents had magically appeared in earshot, like a pair of demons summoned by the sound of secrets. “There's nobody, just... shhh!"

“So that’s how it is, huh?” she raises an eyebrow. “Well, you better not be getting into anything scandalous, young lady,” she warns, putting on her best impression of your mother, before breaking character with a grin and a laugh, bouncing on her toes. “Oh please just tell me it's good. It must be juicy if you won’t even tell me. An errant noble? A gypsy lover? A married man? A woman? A married woman? Tell me tell me tell me!”

Eventually she lets it rest, and agrees not to pry (or say anything). But your secret isn’t safe. 

“Come to the dance,” she pleads with you, back to the point of her visit. “People are starting to talk.” You’ve been acting stranger than usual. Keeping to yourself. Talking to yourself. 

So that was why she was so adamant about you going. The romantic interest wasn’t the reason, it was just the carrot. 

There are rumors that since your near-death experience, you’ve been haunted by something that followed you back from the other side. Your soul cursed by evil or some such nonsense. Ferdinand has been furious, and only making matters worse, adding fuel to the flames. Why else would someone of your station break things off with him? It could only be madness. 

“Of course all but the most gullible of us knew Ferdinand’s ravings were just jealousy, but… A few people are claiming they’ve seen the beast he described lurking after dark. I don’t know, maybe he’s putting them up to it...”  

A dagger of ice strikes you in the heart. They weren’t just rumors. The creature would wander at night—the only time it was safe for him to be out in the open. Or not so safe. You realize with a creeping dread down your spine that you have not been as clandestine as you thought.

You force yourself to laugh dismissively. “I’m sure if there was a monster, it would have found me and gobbled me up by now, don’t you think? So silly!” Ha ha ha. 

“You’re so rational! To be honest, I would be terrified just by the thought some creepy demon thing might be after me,” she shudders. “You have to explain to everyone else what you just told me. Make an appearance, show everyone you’re fine.” 

At length you relent, and go to the dance. 

Everyone stares. 

Nobody talks to you. 

Ferdinand is there, and you spend the night avoiding him. 

You miss the creature. 

You wish you hadn’t gone. 

  ***********************

 When you finally get to see him again after the disaster of a dance, sneaking down to the barn in the pitch-black of night, he’s currying down the mule by lamplight. A bright smile splits his face when he sees you come in—wide, and showing rows of white teeth, which, you wonder, might seem terrifying to someone who didn’t know him very well, combined with hollow cheeks, dark-ringed eyes, and sallow skin pulled taut over the bone.

To you, he looks like a field of sunflowers on a summer day.

The animals seem to agree with your assessment. Even the mule, who used to rear up and bray at the sheer size of him, seems to have finally been swayed by his courtly manners. Now it snorts its disappointment as he puts away the brush to greet you. The chickens come running up to him, clucking for extra corn meal, one landing and perching on his head in a flurry of feathers. Barn cats swirl at his feet, and the cows are already lining up patiently to be milked, appreciative of his efficient hands and all-hours schedule.

You remember when you first taught him to milk. Now he’s more at home here than you ever were. 

Unsettled by the rumors Bess had told you about, you pray nobody finds him. You pray that this can last. That he can stay here, smiling, until you’re ready to make his presence known to the town. 

You long for a day you wouldn’t have to hide—that you could live together like a regular couple. You wish the world could see him the way you do, that this fantasy could become something real. 

How could anyone ever be afraid of him?

    ***********************

He bolts into the barn, cloak whipping behind him, and skids to a halt over the hay-strewn floor, shutting the door quickly behind him. His wild eyes dart around the structure, adjusting to the dim light. When they focus on you, his body finally acknowledges it has found safety, and leans, trembling against the wooden walls for support. A frayed bouquet of wildflowers wilts in his left hand, stems destroyed in his crushing grip.

“Someone saw me.”

The pitchfork you were holding clatters to the floor.

“Who?! Where? When?? Are they coming? Are you alright? Did they hurt you?” You rush to his side, searching for fresh injuries, brain reeling with all the ways you were completely fucked.

It was broad daylight!

He hides his face behind a gangling hand, and tips his head down to get lost behind a forest of loose hair. “I… I do not know. A hunter?”

“What did they look like?” You reach up to grab his shoulders, trying to get him to look at you. His eyes are panicked and unfocused. You groan. “Not that it matters. Nobody in this town will understand. We have to control the circumstances carefully to introduce you without causing a panic. This is bad… If they followed you—”

“Fear in their eyes…” he murmurs, voice cracking. “Everyone who ever looks upon me has fear in their eyes.”

He’s still shaking, his face twisted up and on the verge of tears.

Oh. 

He’s falling apart and all you can say is “This is bad”? This is no time for you to start panicking, too. You take a deep breath, and put a steadying hand on his arm. “Hey, it’s going to be OK,” you force a smile. “There have been rumors about you since I fell in the river—lots of people claim they saw you—this doesn’t change anything. We’re OK.”

“So much fear. That look of terror… Is that how I am meant to be looked at?” he collapses to his knees, letting his nails scrape down the wall as he sinks, the forgotten flowers dropping in a heap by his side as tears begin freely flowing down his cheeks. “How could I forget I am nothing more than a blot upon the earth? A sight to be abhorred.”

You wish you could swallow him up in your arms—cradle him like he does you. You give it your best try, spreading your arms wide and draping your whole body like a second cloak over his enormous, curled form. He rocks, continuing to mutter that he is a wretched thing made to be hated, while you whisper and hum soothing noises, rubbing his back.

“Look at me…” you whisper over his shoulder, gently tipping his chin toward you. He obeys, eyes dull and glassy as they meet yours. You smile, trying to pour every bit of love you feel for him into it, so even from whatever dismal well his heart has sunk to the bottom of, it will radiate affection to him like the sun.

For an instant, his tears stop actively flowing as he observes you. “Except for you. The way you look at me is so different.”

“This is how you're meant to be looked at.”

He chokes and turns away, rubbing his eyes. You circle around to his front, and lean your forehead against his. He looks at you again, a little calmer now. The adoration in your eyes is almost too much for him to bear, but he tries to smile back. The attempt shatters your heart. 

“Oh, you kind, benevolent angel, blessing this foul villain with such a favorable gaze.”

“My wonderful, powerful protector,” you coo softly. You move to sit, and he instinctively makes room for you on his lap—muscle memory of the way you fit together—holding you comfortably in his strong arms. “So sweet and gentle.” Your voice dips flirtatiously, and you touch a hand to his cheek, serenely caressing his jawline.

“How can you look at me like that, in spite of all my flaws?”

The answer spills from your mouth with an infatuated grin before you have a chance to think. “You don’t have flaws. You’re perfect!”

He frowns.

The frown deepens until it nearly becomes a scowl, and he closes his narrowed eyes against the feeling threatening to boil out.

“Please stop that,” he removes your hand from his cheek. “Do not pretend I am not what I am. It is… mockery.”

Shit. You got carried away. Of course he would take that the wrong way. You had to be careful about paying compliments to his body, they hurt him. The cruelest words of insult wouldn’t sting half as much as calling him handsome. But you don’t want to apologize this time. After all, you meant it.

“My beloved,” you stroke his face with the hand he didn’t have restrained, determined to beat down his walls of insecurity with relentless affection. His neck and the tips of his ears redden with heat. “I—”

“Do not flatter me with sugared lies, and ignore the truth,” he interrupts, the tremor returned to his voice. “I know what I am. Being pitied is enough for a wretch like me; it is enough that you endure this unsightly visage without hating its owner. Do not pretend you cannot see me. It is worse to pretend.”

Your throat tightens, and a prickling of tears threatens your eyes, but you don’t cry. It’s heartbreaking that he still thinks of his body as something you have to endure. That you only put up with it, rather than adore it as you do. But he is stubborn in his hatred for his creator’s work. To explain your feelings to him, you will have to choose your words carefully.

“It’s not that I don’t see you, or your scars. I have eyes. I know most people are frightened by your appearance, and I know you’ve suffered horribly because of it. I should have realized you would think I was teasing you to say you’re perfect, but… I mean it.

“You are my heart’s gleam, my gentle dove. My beloved daemon. To me, you are the most wonderful being in all of creation. I am so happy to have met you, and to have had you in my life these past months. There is no one who lights up my heart as you do, none whose face it pleases me to see more. I am never more comfortable than when I’m in your arms, and I never feel so beautiful as when you look at me, nor so important as when you speak to me as if my thoughts matter. Your intelligent mind and poetic soul fill my days with wonder, and you make me feel accepted in a way I have never been before.”

You are stroking his face and the sides of his neck with both hands now, and he is melting into your touch, breaths drawing in slowly and puffing out in shaky bursts. You twirl a finger around a lock of dusky hair.

“I have never wanted you to be any different from the way you are. So I must conclude that the world’s measure of beauty is wrong—for you are perfect. Entirely, completely perfect.”

His head collapses into yours, leaning his forehead against you. He grips you tightly with both arms, squeezing you into his chest like he’s trying to absorb you. Warm, agitated breaths fan your face, and you feel his shoulders convulsing; you think he’s weeping, but then you realize it’s laughter.  

“I sound wonderful,” he says, a hint of pride licking the edges of his voice.

“You are.”

He kisses your neck, awing that you let him press his lips to you, then buries his face against your skin. “In books there is always passion, but... this is far greater than that. You are so patient with me. What did young Werther and Charlotte truly share? What did Juliet know of Romeo? Only the impulses of desire. You offer friendship, and I should like to spend my life repaying the kindness you have bestowed on me.” 

You hum with excitement. “Oh my daemon, my dove, my flitter-mouse,” endearments fall from your lips like apple blossom petals. Goaded by your words, he hefts you up with a now-familiar (yet still shocking) ease, an impish smile sparkling in his eyes as he bridal carries you across the room, ignoring the petulant clucking of chickens scattering from his path. 

“You are perfect,” he kisses your forehead. He sets you down on top of a storage chest, your back supported the wall. “And wonderful,” he kisses your nose. From your new perch, your hips are close to the height of his, and the outline of something growing at the front of his pants tells you exactly where his mind is heading. “And you are mine, yes?” He asks, voice heavy. Instead of kissing you again, he waits for you to close the distance.   

“Always,” you answer, stretching up to grasp his lower lip between your teeth, nibbling and running your tongue over it. He gasps at the novelty, and a surge of heat flares to life inside him. He moans as you tug his lip away from his teeth, and he chases your mouth down, a hand at the back of your head preventing your escape as he envelops you with a smothering kiss, his thick tongue demanding an invitation which you happily give, caressing your own tiny tongue on the probing muscle filling your entire mouth, wrapping your arms around his back as he consumes you. 

Finally he pulls back, a string of saliva still connecting you, a wolfish hunger in his eyes. “You’re mine, and I love you so much…” 

Love. 

You pant, hands curling through his hair. Had you said that before? Had he? Well, yes, you had used the word to describe your feelings, but never so directly. Never in a way that couldn’t have been intended as general, familial, platonic love. You never obfuscated your camaraderie and affection… but this felt different. Pointed. 

I love you so much.

You shiver with pleasure as his corpse lips trace your jaw and down your neck. He leaves a trail of tender kisses all the way down your arm, lingering to suck at the soft skin on the underside of your elbow. A sudden tightness builds in your core, accompanied by a sinful wetness that urges you to wrap your legs around his hips, hiking your skirt up above your knees, and pull him close. The pressure of his clothed cock—now fully erect—pressing into your inner thighs makes the urge worse. You shift to position the bulge against your aching clit, and rock your hips mindlessly seeking relief as his soft kisses up and down your neck and arms drive you into oblivion.

“I love you,” you murmur.

He stands straight, which makes you whine with disappointment as his warm lips leave your body, but he’s looking down at you with the softest eyes. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. “Those three words fill me with joy enough for a lifetime; and beyond even the veil of death, the happiness of that one utterance shall warm me for eternity. Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

A tingle of goosebumps spread up your arm at his sudden demandingness—the way he leans over you, a hand against the wall, voice thick, and low. 

“I love you.” 

“Again,” he commands, leaning in close to your ear, voice barely a whisper. He nips the flesh of your earlobe and your back arches involuntarily. 

“I love you,” the words brush against his cheek. 

“Again,” he sighs, before his lips fall on yours, swallowing your reply. 

You had been in the middle of refreshing the straw bedding for the cows when he burst in, and there is still a nagging at the back of your mind of what if he was followed? But no angry mob has appeared at your doorstep yet, and everything else can wait its turn. This is definitely… the most important thing on your mind. 

It is a soft kiss, as his usually are—gentle and careful with one so much smaller than he is—but grows in intensity, his tongue parting your lips, running across your teeth and plundering your mouth as you moan and twitch your hips. All his insecurity disappears with the noises and writhing he can draw from you, how eager and helpless you are under his touch. Every fear eclipsed by his burning need to bury himself inside you, and hear you scream out for him as he satisfies himself. 

His large fingers unfasten the lacing of your bodice with the same practiced ease as weaving flower stems, pulling down your blouse as his hot, sloppy kisses move from your mouth, over your jaw, and down your neck—this time leaving red hickies in their wake. You feel the direction of his mouth toward your exposed chest, and whimper in anticipation of the warm slickness in just the right spot. He kneads the fat of your breasts in his palms, his sucking kisses down your collarbone growing ever more needy, filling the barn with wet smacking.

With an electric jolt, his tongue finally reaches the sensitive flesh of your nipple, and you feel a flood of warmth surging through your body, curling your toes, and settling in the base of your spine. Your fingers curl into his hair, against his scalp, pulling him against the hardening bud, his lips closing over it, tongue making languid circles that make your head loll back, and your hips buck up to grind against him—but only meet the air. To bend his towering body enough to reach your chest, he had to adjust his hips away from you, and without the pressure of his erection to grind against your cunt felt desperately empty, aching for contact. 

“Ah,” you gasp, grabbing his hand and placing it between your legs, under your skirt, “P-please!” 

His lips pull into a smile against your breast, exposing his tongue as it flicks across your nipple, now bright red and sopping wet. A large digit runs down the length of your slit. You gasp and jerk into it, but his hand is already gone. He rubs the moisture between his fingers. “Hmm, already so excited,” he taunts in a velvety voice, switching to your other breast, rolling the first between his thumb and fingers. 

When did he get so confident? He used to follow your lead, waiting on you to instruct him. He was still terrified of the world, but with you… 

“Tell me what you want me to do,” he purrs, sucking your nipple sharply to draw another gasp from your lips. 

In your private world, when things got like this… 

You let out a strangled whine, moving his hand back between your legs. He lets it rest there idly, ignoring your frustrated, pleading groans and clawing at his hand to do something. He pinches a nipple, delicately tugging at it, slowly drawing his tongue across the other. 

“Hmm? You must speak up. I want to hear your voice.”

...He could be such an arrogant little shit! It’s so hot. 

“F-fingers! Please!” 

“As you wish.”

With a possessive growl, his long finger plunges inside you, moving in and out, getting coated with your slippery wetness as he treats your breasts as his playthings. You can hear his breathing increase, too, each exhale a loud snarl. His hips begin jerking in time with the pulsing of his finger into you, feeling the twitch of your velvet walls squeezing him as he drives you toward your climax—he imagines it’s his cock inside you, and suddenly, this isn’t enough. 

“S-so good. You’re so good,” you whine, eyes closing as you lift your hips into his finger, deepening every thrust. The heat in your core is building, coiling, tightening… You stroke his hair, savoring the motion of his head and the wet sucking noises at your chest as he sends wave after wave of pleasure through you with his tongue. You run your hand over the striations of muscle in his shoulder, over his healed gunshot wound, the feel of his skin and the sound of his ragged breathing sending you over the edge—

His finger pulls out. His tongue moves away. 

The release so close on your horizon fizzles. 

“Wah!” Your eyes shoot open, complaints pursed on your lips. Then you see the hungry look in his eyes, and a shudder runs down your spine. Maybe he’ll fuck you right there. By the look of it, his erection is ready to rip through his pants.

“Patience,” he purrs, swallowing the tightness in his throat—the only sign of his slipping composure. 

He spreads open your legs, kneeling between them, strong hands on your thighs helping you balance on the edge of the crate. His chest rises and falls slowly as he inhales your scent. “S-stop it!” you blush, squirming but unable to budge from his firm grip. Why does he like to smell you so much? You close your eyes and look away from the lewd act. He’s really changed so much, no longer so eager to please you that he wouldn’t risk drawing things out, or embarrassing you. He trusts you, that you’re never going to push away from him in sudden disgust; he knows you enjoy every minute of his attention. 

He extends his long, thick tongue, and traces it along your thighs, teasing you with nips and kisses. Your body shudders at the welcome heat. He’s become an expert on your body, listening to your breathing and waiting for exactly the right moment to finally taste your dripping cunt. Your fingers clench in his hair, urging him on, but he takes his time with a long, measured, broad-tongued lap down your inner thigh, his eyes watching yours, studying your reaction and giving a self-satisfied smirk at your struggle to contain yourself. 

“Please… more.” 

Slowly, patiently, he finally dips his tongue into your quivering, saturated heat. He lets out a muffled moan into you, savoring you, hands clenching on your thighs as he revels in it. You can feel that tension start to coil again, but he’s still taking his time with such an indulgent, unhurried pace, you’ll never reach the orgasm you were denied.

Your fingers dig into the back of his head and your hips twist in his vice grip, helpless to create their own pace. “Faster.” You try to jerk your hips against his tongue again, to no avail. “You feel so good, my love,” you coo in a honeyed voice, hoping flattery will achieve results. “What must I do for you to let me come? I’ll do anything. Please—faster!” 

In a blur of motion, your legs are over his shoulders and he’s standing at full height, large hands holding up your hips to his mouth, your back resting on the box where your ass just was. It feels like the wind was knocked out of you—you can barely breathe as he points his tongue into a stiff rod and attacks your clit with incredible speed and vigor. You didn’t know tongues could move to fast! His mouth is working magic, and the angle he’s holding you at somehow makes it feel even better. Maybe it’s the blood rushing to your head, or the way you have to look up at him, holding you as you dangle helplessly at his mercy, but you can feel your climax returning in greater force. 

“I’m… going to finish already,” you writhe and moan, cheeks hot. 

He doesn’t stop this time. “Come in my mouth,” he instructs, licking and lapping you deeper, faster, his own moans of pleasure lost in yours, crying out louder, thighs clamping around his neck, pulling him in harder, deeper, until your muscles convulse and you bite your lip to silence your shaking scream. He thrusts his tongue deep inside you, feeling your walls twitch around him, tasting your hot release coat his tongue. 

“Fuck, you’re so good. So perfect,” you praise as you start to come down. 

He’s not through with you yet, however. Not by a long shot. 

He keeps writhing his tongue inside of your still-twitching heat, then brings his mouth back to your over-worked clit, ghosting his lips over it, flicking softly and quickly with the pointed end of his tongue. 

You cry out in surprise, an unpleasantly strong contraction ripping through your body in protest. “N-no!” you try to wriggle away, pushing your arms out against him, but from your upside-down suspended position, the only part of him you can reach is—your heart skips a beat as your hand grazes his throbbing steel shaft. A renewed surge of heat flushes between your legs, overwhelming the over-stimulation with pleasure. You swallow. 

“Do you want more?” he murmurs, drunk on you. You nod breathlessly. You need him to keep going. To put that in you. “Good.” 

You grope blindly for the inhumanly thick bugle in his pants, and lay your palm against it, feeling its incredible length. The heat it gives off is amazing. There is a sharp inhale, and a hiccup in the steady working of his tongue. Not so easy to stay cool, is it? You smile, finally turning the tables a little. You rub his clothed shaft until he makes muffled whines into your cunt, and his hips start rocking against your hand as you stroke him up and down. 

This is heaven. He could live between your thighs, drowning in the taste of you. He loves making you happy—seeing you shudder with pleasure from his touch—and the power he has over you in these moments makes an intoxicating combination. You belong to him. 

“Do I make you feel good?” he rasps. You stare back up at him—his tongue stopped. You pull at the back of his head with your legs, trying to get him to start again, to give you what your body desperately needs, but he only looks at you with heavy-lidded eyes and tips his head to the side. Fuck, he’s cute when he does that. 

“Y-yeah.”

Lick. 

Your hips buck into his mouth in appreciation, an electric pulse vibrating down your back. 

“Only I can make you feel this way?” 

Oh god, this is the game he’s playing? You’ll say anything to get him to keep going, but the only answer you can make right now is a pleading, affirmative whine and a nod. 

Lick. 

That was good enough. Your eyes squeeze shut. You were so close again! 

“Only me?”

“Please don’t stop!” 

Not good enough. “Say you’re mine,” he purrs, “That only I can make you feel this way.”

“Only you!” you cry, squeezing your thighs around him, trying to pull him back in, “I’m yours! Please!” 

He smiles, and gives you a delicate swirl of the tongue, tracing your clit, then plunges his tongue deep inside you, fucking you with the large muscle, pulsating and tasting you, filling your longing core up with its heat. Oh god, it wasn’t as big as his cock, but the way it could move inside you was so strange and delicious, and the wet, hungry noises his mouth made sent you over the edge a second time, your hands grasping for something to cling to—one clenching the edge of the crate, the other gripping the outline of his shaft. 

He slips his tongue out of you, dripping with a mingling of your juices and his saliva, and puts it back to work on your throbbing clit without pausing. In its place, he soaks two bony fingers in your empty core. The fingers are cooler and less slithery than his tongue, but make up for it with length and firmness, reaching deeper, and hitting nerves that his tongue missed. 

“R-right there!” you squeal, voice shaking as he finds your g-spot. He feels your muscles twitching and pulling beneath his hands. Sucking hard on your clit, he pumps his finger harder in and out of your drenched pussy, focusing on that sensitive spot that makes you cry out for him, until you come again, your walls clenching and unclenching around his hand.

You expect a break after that. Your body is exhausted and trembling, especially in this uncomfortable—if arousing—position. But, whether he’s working off his earlier panic, or he just has that much more stamina now that he’s healed, he doesn’t stop. Instead, he adds another finger, stretching you farther and making you moan with the feeling of fullness. You don’t bother to protest or try to wriggle away, only whimpering praises and encouragement, eager for more. He builds you up and sends you over the precipice again, and again, and again relentlessly until you can’t stand any more.

Only when you’re shaking and soaking, so dizzy with sensation you can no longer speak, does he release his iron-clad grip on your hips and lowers them back down to the top of the storage chest, sitting you up with your back resting on the wall. Breathing erratically, he presses a tender but sloppy kiss to your lips, the flavor of you on his tongue. 

“This is what… perfection tastes like,” he pants. 

Settling between your legs, he finally frees his unbearably hard erection from its prison, the unearthly member glistening with precum and throbbing with pent-up desire. 

The storage crate is tall enough that he barely needs to bend his knees to achieve the right height, and with little need for adjustment, he’s rubbing his giant cockhead along your entrance. It feels so good, but your tired muscles are too limp to buck your hips up to help push him in, so you merely bite your lower lip in anticipation of being filled with him. 

After being forced to wait for so long, his cock aches to bury itself up to the hilt in you with one thrust, but if he just pushed it in, he might split you in half. He is your gentle creature, needy as he may be, and he can wait just a little longer if it means not hurting you. He rubs his shaft along you, coating it in your slickness with his hand, making sure you’re ready to take him. He pushes the head inside. A gurgled moan escapes your lips at the satisfying pressure. He studies your face. 

“Do you want me?” His hands trace over the bone of your hips, kneading the fat of your thighs. You nod weakly, and he pushes in farther. He’s spreading you wide, filling you so magnificently. This is what you’ve been waiting for. Yet he still waits, pausing for your body to adjust to his size. “Are you all right?” 

You put your hand over his, marveling at how much bigger it is than yours, and squeeze. “I love you so much. Now fuck me.” 

He lets out a strangled whimper of affection at your declaration, and jerks his hips forward into your eager pussy. A cry of pleasure and brief pain tears from your throat. Those words were all the encouragement he needed to become ravenous, nipping at your neck, pinching until a trail of red bruises blooms over your skin. Suddenly, you’re in the air, still fully impaled on his prodigious length, and being slammed against the wall. He begins pounding into you hard and fast, hands squeezing your hips and shoulder, keeping you effortlessly off the ground, while your legs instinctively wrap themselves around his waist, holding on for dear life as he fucks you into the wall, the sloppy sounds of flesh striking flesh filling the serene bucolic air. 

You hold him close, running your hands up his back and around his ass, feeling the powerful jerking of his muscles beneath the skin as he thrusts into you. So big. Everything about him is oversize, his arms, his cock, all of the scars covering his body… the textured discoloration of his skin. He did look devilish—but he was so sweet, and kind, and so, so passionate for you, he was more like a prince. Or, at the very least, he was your devil. 

Even in his lust-fueled frenzy, he notices you noticing him. 

Your eyes are undisguisedly observing parts of him he would rather not think about, and suddenly he remembers what he looks like—self-awareness lost in the passion of the moment returning like a revelation. What you see whenever he mounts you is a monster… and you still let him. You still beg him to. You moan, and whimper, and plead for more of him, your body at his command.

His grunts grow louder and less controlled, and each thrust of his hips sends tremors through the entire barn, little trails of dust and hay falling from the rafters. 

“How does it feel to be fucked by a monster? To belong to me?” 

It feels warm. You can barely articulate an answer through the fog. It feels rough, hard, fast, tender, passionate… 

His breath hitches, a low rumble in his throat, and you realize you’ve been muttering out loud. 

“You’re so perfect. So big. You know exactly what I want,” you run your hands up the misshapen grooves of his chest, struggling to keep your voice smooth and seductive as he knocks the wind out of you with each thrust. Compliments can often backfire with the self-hating creature, but in moments like this, you can praise him like a puppy dog and it gets him more red-faced than… than the fact that you’re fucking!

“You feel so good inside me,” you keep singing praises as he pounds into you, his grip getting harder and harder until you’re sure you’ll be left with bruises. “You're so big, you're filling me up. Nobody can do the things you do to me.” 

Finally he buries his head in your neck and lets out a full-throated sob, as his hips meet yours in a powerful thrust, burying himself deeper inside you than you believed possible. You feel the warmth of his hot seed filling you, so much of it that it overflows out of you and drips down your ass.

He doesn’t move. He pants against your neck, practically growling, arms holding you in place possessively, pinning you to the wall. You’re not getting down just yet. He wants to savor his cock buried deep inside your warmth for a little longer. You sigh contentedly, closing your eyes and leaning your head against his sweat-dampened chest. 

Exhausted and sated, his senses begin to return. He stares at the huge mummy-like hands practically swallowing your small body, your skin so elastic, vibrant, and alive in contrast. Softly, he asks again, absent any passion-fueled bravado, “You love me?”

“I love you.”

“Foolish girl.”

“You love a foolish girl,” you tease, grinning. You grab both sides of his face, rubbing your nose against his. 

“I do.” 

You could get lost in the little world the two of you share.

Unfortunately you were so engrossed in your own little world that you didn't hear the hens clucking as they rushed to the edge of the fence, or the cows mooing a friendly greeting to a familiar face.

You didn't notice Bess standing in the doorway of the barn until she let out a blood-curdling scream.

#Frankenstein #frankenstein's monster x reader #the creature x reader #monster x human #smutfic #smut #lemon #my writing #FINALLY FINISHED #This one took so long y'all #I hope you enjoy

[saladejin]

Call An Uber? | 02

BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader |  Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut 

Summary:  Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right?

What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.4k

< masterpost >

»»————- <<prev | next >> ————-««            

Bold = English

       "You make it sound like we're gonna die." 

"Yeah well you will, if you don't move your ass." I swung open my door, tugging the mask higher on my face and swishing my (h/c) hair around to cover the rest partially. 

Hopefully any lurking cameras wouldn't sneak a peek of my flustered appearance, because that would be embarrassing in itself. I had worn only the lightest makeup possible today. Of course I didn't want to look like a troll in front of my customers, but now that I was breathing right next to two perfect, ethereal human beings, I suddenly wished I’d made a better effort to impress. 

"Quick!" Jimin's abrupt gasp snapped me out of my thoughtless gazing, and I turned around to see Jungkook walking towards me swiftly. Jimin was already heading inside, but had thrown a worried glance back in my direction when he saw my frozen form on the pavement. I instantly started at the sudden pressure on my lower back and jumped forward when Jungkook's large hand pressed me in that direction. 

"Sorry, but you probably shouldn't touch me if people can see," I murmured and led the way through the sliding doors into the cooled administration room.

Jungkook's tentative hand jerked away as if he had touched a burning hot iron.

The weather had been quite warm outside, but I hadn't taken too much notice because of the exceptional air conditioning of my car. I whipped my head around one last time to blow a tiny kiss to my precious baby parked outside, as it was still new and had already been through an exciting car-chase of sorts. Even copping a harsh slap to the ass in the process. 

I'll be back soon Red. 

I turned back around to see the cheeky maknae giving me an incredulous look with one eyebrow raised. 

"Don't judge me, it's new." 

When Namjoon came to fetch his two younger members, he was definitely far from pleased. As soon as he entered the room all three of us were sitting in, he gave me a quick glance up and down with his expression hardening the closer he looked. Despite his misgivings, the tall man still managed to flash me a strained smile while he dipped his head in a sign of respect. He was truly a kind soul, and I knew he’d probably need to make an initial judgement based off this first look.

The professional demeanour continued as his careful eyes flickered to Jimin and Jungkook. He had already gone through the initial apologies and displays of gratitude as soon as he bowed, but now his expression was disappointed as he beckoned the other two members in the room.

"You two come with me." 

Damn, his leader voice was definitely no joke! I felt myself squirm in my seat, probably from the uncomfortable tension suddenly flooding the room. Namjoon looked as good as ever, silvery grey hair styled in a way that just made me speechless, but his usually calm and thoughtful expression was tired and stressed. 

Poor guy, he must have torn his hair out over this. I hope he doesn't think I'm insane or something.

I knew there was absolutely no way he would trust me completely on the first meeting, but seeing as though his fellow band members had mentioned their situation and fortunate escapade, his gaze seemed softer than it could've been.

Thinking about what could've gone wrong made me shudder, and I pushed the thoughts away as the two boys I had shared a car with for the past half an hour jumped to their feet. I was sad, but I mean who wouldn't be? I had fangirled over them so many times and once I’d actually met them, it seemed quite literally too good to be true.

I knew they couldn't stay though, and when it came down to it, I was most likely viewed as just another fan. Just another fan that they had happened to meet coincidentally, but still nothing too estranged from a fan meeting event where girls from various backgrounds would provide them with gifts and words of encouragement. 

Why would I expect anything different from this? 

I forced down the bile rising in my throat and avoided making eye contact with any of the boys, as I couldn't bear to watch them go. Slipping through my fingers, kind of like the moment you begin to wake up from a dream you longed to replay over and over.

The realisation that they’d halted in their movements took me way too long, but as I snapped up to meet Jungkook's conflicted expression, I suddenly gasped. "Oh, sorry!" 

I tugged off the mask he had graciously lent me and held it out with a shaky hand in the younger boy's direction. His eyes flashed with recognition and even surprise, much to my own confusion. 

"Oh, that...I won't mind if you keep it, I have plenty of others." 

I let out a sharp breath and smiled forlornly. "Creepy, you're giving me your clothes now?"

I laughed softly when he rolled his eyes and dismissed me with a joking wave of his hand, bunny smile flashing. Jimin also couldn't help but grin at the maknae's chivalrous attempt and how it had completely backfired.

Someone cleared their throat deeply and I met the pointed look of Namjoon once more, even though his gaze had settled the tiniest bit at seeing his fellow members act comfortably. 

"(Y/n)-ssi, is it?" 

"Yes, I'm sorry to make you wait so long Kim Namjoon-ssi. You must have been worried sick." I struggled to be as respectful as I could, my eyebrows knitting together in concentration as I spoke. Did I even use the correct honorific? Maybe I should have used something higher because he's the leader of the group. Ah, I don't know! 

A chuckle broke me from the horrifying contemplation, and I flinched slightly as Jimin bent down to enter my line of vision. "Don't worry too hard about all the honorific stuff, Namjoonie-hyung will understand." 

I nodded with a cringe alighting my features, annoyed at my own obvious floundering with their language. I had been in the country for a couple of months, so why couldn't I just get my act together and converse properly? 

"Do...you speak English at all?" Namjoon ventured with a smile that made his dimples pop adorably. I let out a big sigh and ran a hand through my windblown hair while nodding. 

"Yep, I'm from (Y/c). But I do understand Korean fairly well, it's just the honorifics and technicalities that trip me up a bit." 

Jimin and Jungkook groan simultaneously at the revelation that I was fluent in the language they practiced the most, and I couldn't help but smirk. They must have had some suspicion, as I did't exactly look Korean anyway, but there was always the notion that I could have been born to foreign parents and grown up here. 

"I never would have known! Your Korean is still great," Jimin whined lowly and I couldn't help but laugh, the look in my eyes eventually shifting to one of apology. 

"That's fine, it's alright to just use 'ssi' anyway," Namjoon nodded and I relaxed my shoulders in relief. The switch back to Korean was somewhat jarring, but it was only fair that everyone in the room should understand the gist of the conversation. 

"But hyung, she told us she doesn't mind if you don't use them for her," Jungkook was next to pipe up, and I was surprised he even remembered such a thing at this point in time. I just smiled and shook my head in response. 

"I don't mind either way. I'm not fussed at all." 

"Yes, well we should be going anyway." Namjoon cut off the conversation and glanced at his watch, looking back around at everyone in the room. 

"Thankyou (Y/n)-ssi for taking care of our members, something like this shouldn't happen again." 

At the sound of their leader's stern voice, the boys both hung their heads slightly, and I knew that even though the situation had worked out for the best, it definitely was not ideal for this kind of thing to happen when their careers could be put on the line. 

"It's alright, Jungkook's mask is the only thanks I need," I decided to joke so that I can see the younger boys smile again, and I was rewarded with the most beautiful pearly white grins yet. Namjoon chuckled and motioned with one hand for the boys to leave the room before him.

Jungkook turned and threw a small wave and bow in my direction. I returned them, and he finally exited the room with a hefty sigh to let out all of his pent-up stress. Jimin followed with the same gestures and I responded with a faintly sorrowful smile. Ah, what I wouldn’t give to just spend a whole day with them. I was then ultimately left alone with the leader of BTS. To say I wasn’t a tad intimidated would be a lie. 

"Once again, you have truly done us a service. We are glad to have a fan such as yourself supporting us,” Namjoon spoke after a few seconds of silent tension.

"Thank you, you have no idea how much you guys have helped me already, so please don't feel as though you owe me anything," I quietly respond and watch as his eyes cloud with admiration and respect suddenly.

Maybe he regretted acting so robotic and cold when he came in, but he was the leader and professionalism mattered so much when you were faced with a situation that called for big demonstrations of leadership. Namjoon smiled and bowed again, reaching out to shake my hand kindly before leaving the room to join the others. I knew all that was left was meeting the CEO of Bighit Entertainment. 

Yeah, because that's something to just brush over. 

God, so much was happening to me today. How could I possibly go back to streaming endless amounts of videos and fangirling over pictures when I had actually spoken with three members of the band itself? I forced down the niggling thoughts of 'that's only three out of seven' and grunted apprehensively. 

You're lucky enough as it is, don't be greedy. 

The thing is, nothing about my long-distance relationship with the boys was normal anymore, and I wondered if the girls who attended fan-meetings felt exactly the same way. The fact that they were just normal guys with normal thoughts had always crossed my mind when I watched them through the screen, but seeing it in action proved to be disarming at the very least. 

Stupid world-famous idols, don't play with my heart like this.

The meeting and disclaimer signage with Bang PD went well in the end, and I was consistently surprised at how kind-hearted and open he was with everything that had gone down. All the staff I had encountered were nothing short of accommodating, and they were continuously apologising for the mess caused. Even though I had told them many times it was truly a blessing in disguise, they remained insistent on the matter.

"Please, I want you to take this as a token of our gratitude." Bang PD smiled warmly in my direction, and before I could refuse he held out a slip of paper. It was a cheque, and my eyes blew wide when my eyes scanned the tiny bold numbers printed neatly on the surface.

"Please, I can't accept this, I already got paid for my service."

Before the short man could shake his head and insist further, a light knock sounded on the frosted glass pane of the office door before opening. In stepped a young woman who bowed repeatedly for her intrusion, her short night black hair bobbing up and down along with her.

"I'm terribly sorry Bang PD-nim, but the donor from Chile has arrived back at the office ahead of schedule."

The founder of Bighit nodded in understanding, clearing his throat to speed up whatever process was happening. He turned back to me with a reassuring glance and I took a deep breath, fully understanding I wasn't really able to refuse his generous offer.

"Right, well thank you once again for your service, I have other things to attend to it seems. It was lovely to meet you."

The cheque still scorching hot in my left hand not going unnoticed, I forced myself to return his smile with a gulp. He gestured softly for the door and followed me out. The young woman looked quite flustered as she shifted from foot to foot just outside the bleak office entryway.

The building's interior was very modern and clean-cut, and I knew it was probably very, very different from the actual Bighit Entertainment building itself. Seeing as it was meant for living arrangements and not vital meetings such as the one mentioned earlier.

I exchanged formalities with Mr.Bang once more before I turned towards the exit of the dormitory building, my big and exciting day coming to a close just like that.

"I'm sorry, but it seems our Spanish interpreter has called in absent today. I've just been informed that the donor came without one," the hushed whisper from the woman reached my ears as I took a couple of steps towards the large glass doors. I heard a sharp click of a tongue and a deep, masculine sigh from behind me. 

"Well what are we going to do? I don't know enough Spanish for an entire face-to-face meeting like this."

"Does anyone else in the company?" The woman's voice was growing frantic, as she was apparently about to drown in her sudden bout of panic.

Bang PD's tone was irritated. "Why the hell was this not scheduled better?"

I honestly could not blame him. What kind of interpreter would just call in absent on such an important event? Even if the sickness was life-threatening, there were ways to notify and organise something to compensate for it, or give some warning to reschedule.

A small smile stretched my lips as I twirled around on one of my heels happily, once again facing the distraught looking woman and CEO who were deep in hurried conversation.

"If I mentioned that I was fluent in Spanish, would that help?"

             Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.   

#btsfanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts #bts scenarios #ot7 #bts angst #bts crack #bts smut #bts imagine #reader insert #kim namjoon #park jimin #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #fluff and smut #call an uber? #saladejin

[earth-ambassador-jim]

Lost Souls: Story 9

The Ones We Hail -part 2

Lost Souls Summary: Merlin awakens early from his sleep. He decides  that he doesn’t want to leaving anything to chance and kidnaps the young  James Lake Jr. to began training his Trollhunter as early as possible.

Barbara  is determined to hunt down the man who kidnapped her son. In her  efforts to get her son back she finds a strange old radio that speaks to  her in a woman’s voice. The radio leads her to an underground society  of shapeshifters.

Mother and son meet again years later as strangers on opposing sides.

AO3 - Fanfiction

~~~~

Kanjigar was alert as he walked through the emerald lit caverns. Merlin had assured him that as he was invited he would be perfectly safe but the place still stank of magic. It radiated from the very stone under his feet. One could never be too careful around sorcery.

Eventually he reached an intricately carved wooden door.

He lifted his hand and knocked, careful to not scratch the wood with his knuckles. Nothing. He knocked again. There was no answer. With a frown he tried the handle and found it to be unlocked.

The cave behind the door was well lit by candles and crystals and a warm fire. Scrolls were spread haphazardly across the sturdy oaken table in the center of the room and piled on top of each other on shelves carved into the wall. Jars of herbs and other things were mixed in with the scrolls. A gnome skull grinned at him from the mantle of the fireplace.

“Master Merlin?” Kanjigar called out as he took a step in.

Still no response. The thick red-brown rug muffled his steps.

Had the wizard forgotten about him? He didn’t want to be disrespectful but in the short time he’d known him, Merlin did seem a little… well… absent minded.

Kanjigar glanced at the fire. Merlin couldn’t be gone too far if he’d left a fire going. Of course there was the possibility it was sustained by magic…

A quiet shuffling noise drew the troll’s attention. He looked across the table and then blinked in surprise. There, peering warily from just over the edge of the table, was a pair of bright blue eyes topped with an unruly mop of black hair.

It was a child. A human child.

They let out a yelp when their eyes met his and ducked back under the table.

Kanjigar’s nostrils flared in surprise.

What was a child doing here?

“Ah! There you are.”

Kanjigar startled at Merlin’s voice. He glanced back and saw him just coming in from the tunnels. How he had managed to open the door without Kanjigar hearing he wasn’t sure.

“I’m afraid it will be a while yet before your charm is ready,” The wizards said as he started setting his bags down on the table. The scents of various herbs wafted into the air as he jostled them. “I have had more pressing matters to deal with and I am lacking ingredients. Perhaps you can find some of the rarer ones for me.”

“Why is there a child here?” Kanjigar asked.

He didn’t like to interrupt but he was very puzzled.

Merlin blinked at him for a moment, before understanding appeared on his face.

“Oh you mean James.”

He looked around with a frown.

“Where has that boy gotten off to?”

“I’m here,” A soft voice said from the far side of the table.

The boy’s head poked up just enough that he could see Kanjigar before he vanished again.

“Why are you hiding?” Merlin asked with a huff. “Come out and greet the Trollhunter properly. You have nothing to fear.”

“The Trollhunter?” The boy, James, poked his head up again, eyes wide. “He’s the Trollhunter?”

Evidently Merlin had told him about him.

Kanjigar slowly moved around the table. James watched him warily but didn’t hide again. Was this his first time meeting a troll? If it was he was taking it really well.

Kanjigar glanced around noticing that there were a lot of scrolls about troll history and rudimentary knowledge of the magical world lying among the more complicated texts.

It clinked. This must be Merlin’s new apprentice. Kanjigar gave the boy an appraising glance over. James shifted nervously under his gaze, blue eyes flickering to the side. He looked like he was barely out of welphood. A mere youngling. If he had been a troll his parents would have been still keeping him close.

Kanjigar frowned. He had never understood why humans would send their children off so young, but they had always been strange creatures.

He approached James. Once he was about two paces away Kanjigar stopped and knelt to the boy’s level.

“Hello Young James, I am Kanjigar son of Terragar. It is an honor to make your acquaintance.”

The boy stared at him with wide eyes. His gaze snagged on the amulet hung around his neck for a moment, before he looked at Merlin uncertainly.

“Go on and introduce yourself, boy,” Merlin said.

James looked back at Kanjigar again and took a nervous step forward and then another. The troll held himself still so as to not startle him. Finally James stood in front of him.

He held out a quivering hand toward Kanjigar in what the troll recognized was an invitation to shake hands. Another odd human custom.

“I’m Jim… son of Barbara,” The boy said haltingly. “Nice to meet you?”

Kanjigar carefully took the small hand and moved it up and down once.

“Well met young Jim,” He said.

He gave the boy a gentle smile, careful to not show his teeth.

James’… Jim’s eyes studied Kanjigar’s face. The boy’s shoulders relaxed just slightly and he smiled back.

~~~~

“Kanjigar!!!!”

The Trollhunter chuckled as the tiny fleshbag launched himself at him.

“Hello young Jim,” He said as he caught the boy mid-air.

“Are you going to stay for a while?” The boy asked as he squirmed in the troll’s hands. “Did you bring me anything? Did you have any cool fights? What the weather doing outside? Did it snow? Did you make a snowman?” He let out a little excited gasp. “Or a snowtroll?! Do trolls make snowtrolls?”

Kanjigar laughed, eyes crinkling as warm amusement course through him. The boy had been rather shy at first but now, after several months of visits to Merlin’s cave, the young human had gotten quite comfortable with him.

“Perhaps if you quieted for a moment you might get some answers.”

The boy bit his lip and stared up at him with bright eyes. Kanjigar could feel him quivering. He chuckled again. Jim reminded him a lot of Draal when he was a youngling. So eager and excitable.

He shoved down the quiet pang in his core when a memory of Draal’s disappointed face from the last time they’d talked flickered through his mind. It was for the best, he reminded himself.

He set Jim down on one of the chairs and the boy immediately began pestering him with more questions.

“So what has Merlin been teaching you?” He asked when the boy finally stopped to catch his breath.

Jim frowned slightly and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“He’s been teaching me about the … Gum-Gum Wars.”

Kanjigar frowned at that.

“That must be a scary. Those were dark times.”

Jim nodded, slightly.

“Merlin says it’s important.”

“I see.”

There was a moment of silence.

“So what have you been doing when you are not learning?” Now that he thought about it Kanjigar hadn’t seen any toys in the cave, on any of his visits, but they were likely kept in another room. The vigorous play of children did not mix well with delicate things like potions and scrolls.

Jim looked down and picked at his fingers.

“Not much,” He said with a shrug finally. “Merlin says I can use the training room, but all the swords are too big. I don’t get to go outside so sometimes I explore in the tunnel… It’s kind of creepy though. Merlin gave me an old scroll to draw on. I’m not supposed to draw on the other ones. He wasn’t happy when I did that. He says the new empty ones are for his research.”

Kanjigar frowned.

“Don’t you have any toys?”

Draal had been absolutely obsessed with magnets as a youngling. His minerals were of the type that magnets would stick to him, so he was often covered with them. It was a pity that cameras had not existed back then or Kanjigar would have collected some memorable and amusing pictures.

Jim shook his head.

“Merlin doesn’t think they’re important.”

Kanjigar’s frown deepened. He would need to talk to Merlin when the wizard returned.

“Would you like to hear about my journey to Argentina?” He asked.

Jim immediately brightened up and nodded.

~~

As it turned out Kanjgar’s talk with Merlin ended up getting put off for a couple days. Simply because the wizard had not returned.

“Does he do this often?” Kanjigar asked Jim carefully.

“Sometimes,” the boy said with a shrug.

His tongue stuck out slightly as he tried to pour the oats out of the sack into the bowl without spilling too much. The stool he was standing on teetered and Kanjigar quickly steadied him.

“Let me help you with that,” He said taking the bag.

~~~~

“We need to talk.”

The wizard frowned at those words and gave a brief glance at his Trollhunter before returning to the scroll he was writing on.

“I’m listening.”

Kanijagar decided to cut straight to the point. It was hard to say how long he would have his attention for.

“You cannot simply leave Jim on his own for days at a time,” He said, careful to make his voice firm but respectful.

“I don’t see why not,” The wizard responded without looking at him. “He’s a resourceful enough and hasn’t had any problems.”

“That’s not the point,” Kanjigar said nostrils flaring just slightly. He had the distinct feeling this was going to be like arguing with Blinky.

“Then what is?”

“Jim is a child; a mere youngling. He needs attention and time… and more than just books! He needs fresh air and play and toys.” Kanjigar grimaced slightly. “And a change of clothes.”

From what Kanjigar learned about humans if their cloths started smelling appetizing it meant they were too dirty for the human to be wearing. Humans needed to be somewhat clean or they risked sickness and parasites.

“I suppose he is due for a change of clothes,” Merlin responded finally. He paused and frowned before giving Kanjigar an affronted look. “He does actually have more than one, but he doesn’t know how to use the washing potion yet and I was gone longer than I expected. I shall look for another set on my next trip.”

“What about the other things?”

“What about them?”

Kanjigar took a slow breath.

“Are you going to do anything about them?”

Merlin huffed and shot him an annoyed look.

“Do I look like I know anything about children?” He said irritably. “When I was a child we amused ourselves on our own just fine.”

Kanjigar’s ears flicked back and he had to clench his teeth against the urge to snap at the wizard that he shouldn’t take on such a young apprentice if he wasn’t good with children. He looked away and took a slow breath.

“Perhaps you could take care of those things you mentioned.”

Kanjigar looked back sharply to find that the wizard was studying him.

“Me?”

“Sure. You are already a father. James always goes on and on about you after you leave each time. You are sure to do a better job than I will.”

Kanjigar opened his mouth to protest. It was one thing to indulge the child a little when he visited, it was another to take responsibility for his care and well-being. Kanjigar’s job was dangerous and historically Trollhunters tended to die early. If he got too close it would only hurt the boy more when his time inevitably came. He had already distanced himself from his own son for that very reason.

But then he closed it. He glanced around at the musty cave full of scrolls and dust and herbs and then at the prickly old wizard. He thought of how excited Jim was every time Kanjigar visited. Given how hard it was for Kanjigar himself to get much interaction out of Merlin, he had no doubt the child was very lonely.

The Trollhunter’s duty was to answer every call and Jim needed him.

Kanjigar sighed and rubbed at his browridge. What was he getting himself into?

“Very well,” He said. “I cannot live here but I will visit more often. I will bring the boy what toys and amusements that I can but you must at least try to be more involved with him. And please, tell me if you expect to be gone for more than a day. If something happens to him while he is alone, he could be badly hurt or worse.”

Merlin’s hummed and stroked his beard.

“I suppose you are right. I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime I’m off to get some venison. I grow weary of oatmeal.”

With that he walked out the door and was gone.

Kanjigar stared at the closed door and then back at the stone hallway that led to Jim’s room. His hand strayed to the Amulet hanging from its chain around his neck. He toyed with it apprehensively.

“Oh Deya, what am I doing?” He murmured to himself.

#Trollhunters #tales of arcadia #trollhunters fanfiction #Kanjigar #merlin #TOA Merlin #Jim Lake Jr #Lost Souls #Child Champion AU #neglect #accidental adoption

[autumnblogs]

Day 4: You eat a weird bug and don’t even care.

Starting later than usual today because I’ve been absolutely swamped with work. Let’s get down to business to defeat the Huns.

https://homestuck.com/story/644

I’ve never really gotten why John falls asleep here. Seems an odd place to fall asleep, especially with the adrenaline rush that must have been. Maybe he’s passing out from exactly that? Alternatively, maybe Vriska is putting him to sleep.

 I also forgot that John Sleeps/Skaian Magicant is split between two flashes.

https://homestuck.com/story/651

Ah here we go. John has what are, if Jade is to be believed, lousy dreams. He dreams of his Dad, of clowns, of baked goods, of Fruit Gushers, of his own symbol, the weird knock-off slimer, and Harry Anderson, before finally Jade appears.

I am not a psychologist or therapist. I am not even anything more than an amateur literary critic. But let me give you my take on that. It’s clear that John is dreaming about all kinds of things that are giving him anxiety here, if Jade’s assessment about his dreams being lousy is true.

Harry Anderson is, as he’ll say later, kind of a weird mutual father figure for him and his Dad, and as a stage magician and comedian, he represents John’s aspirations.

John wants to grow up to be a great stage magician and comedian, and if there’s anything we’ve seen about the Heir of Breath so far, it’s how extremely self-critical he is of his abilities - he’s screwed up every disguise and magic trick he’s tried so far. 

The other things are pretty self-explanatory - he’s anxious about his relationship with his Dad, he’s anxious about his Dad’s identity, he’s anxious about his own identity - with the exception of the gushers. Are gushers just symbolizing Sburb for John? Does he have a premonition that the gushers are tainted by the hand of his archnemesis, Betty Crocker? Maybe that one’s just silly.

Maybe they’re all just silly!

https://homestuck.com/story/652

I promise I will have more to say about Jade’s conversations once she is actually introduced, but until then, she is too enigmatic for me to talk about :^)

I will say, if the fact that John is stressing out about everything in his life and just not vocalizing his anxiety, it’s probable that he thinks Jade is just as mysterious as his pals think she is, and is just not talking about it.

I think John, like Jake, is way more intelligent than he lets on, and probably just keeps a lot of things on a simmer, thinking about them without necessarily opening up about them. He talks a lot about surface level stuff for sure, but he seems a lot more hesitant to talk about emotions, theories, that sort of thing. It actually reminds me a lot of how Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium, far from his highly imaginative partner the player character, writes his thoughts down in a notebook to keep track of his through processes, hunches, case details, etc, whereas the Detective organizes everything in an interactive Thought Cabinet that serves as one half of the game’s Inventory and Progression System.

For example, John’s ability to describe and his ability to theorize is on full display in the FAQs that he writes, but when he talks, he’s often just as disorganized as he is everywhere else. Maybe John needs to take up journalling.

Huh. I wonder if Kim is a Prospit Dreamer and the Detective is a Derse Dreamer? That would make a lot of sense. Once @bladekindeyewear finishes playing Disco Elysium (which he is playing at my behest), I’ll see if he’s interested in assigning Lunar Sway, Classes and Aspects to the two of them.

https://homestuck.com/story/665

Dave Owns. The Narrative switches between character perspectives often right before there’s a major climax so that lots of characters can all have climactic encounters in sync with one another.

Eye imagery is on full display here as Dave ascends to the highest point in the building. The Sun over Dave’s house is drawn differently from other abstractions of the Sun in Homestuck, and this particular drawing of the Sun will later be juxtaposed against Terezi’s eyes as Alternia’s Sun burns them out.

The Sun as the Symbol of Light is also juxtaposed with Rose’s eyes later when she uses her seer powers, strengthening the connection between the Sun and Eyes. Near the very beginning of the comic, Rose compares the Sun moving on from the east coast to the west as him casting his lurid gaze on younger parts of the world, or the country. I’m not recalling the exact phrasing at this time.

Lil Cal’s creepy eyes are also highlighted by the Camera here. Through the vehicle of Lil Cal, Lord English is watching and quietly giving approval to all of this.

I choose to interpret the camera’s focus in this flash as giving us a glimpse into what Dave is paying attention to. And boy does Dave notice all of these eyes on him. Between seeing the sun as a malevolent eye watching him, to Lil Cal’s glassy gaze, to the Cameras bro uses to surveil him 24/7, Dave feels like he’s constantly being watched, and I think it’s safe to say it gives him the creeps.

https://homestuck.com/story/673

WV’s self-estimation isn’t much better than John’s.

https://homestuck.com/story/678

I wonder if we can get some insight into the strange minds of the Carapacians in the way that before he’s even finished receiving the commands, WV acts on them. WV is even more impulsive than John.

https://homestuck.com/story/684

Oh yeah, WV’s self-worth is way worse than John’s.

https://homestuck.com/story/685

Luckily almost as soon as his thoughts come, they go. He doesn’t spend too much time brooding over his self-loathing and survivor’s guilt, so good for him.

https://homestuck.com/story/688

A whole bunch of things that are symbolically related to the cast!

While WV’s can town playtime functions as foreshadowing for us, it serves as a replay of the extremely recent past for him, at least in terms of events that we know about.

https://homestuck.com/story/694

The light on Serenity’s belly looks a bit like the Sun, and therefore, an eye.

https://homestuck.com/story/699

The Blue Trees of Can Town call forward to Terezi’s forest, but I don’t think this is probably more substantial than something fun Andrew decided to call back to when he was writing the trolls.

IDK. Maybe Blue Trees = Democracy = Justice?

But Terezi’s brand of justice has nothing to do with Democracy.

https://homestuck.com/story/709

Tab, like GameBro, is an artifact of a bygone age.

https://homestuck.com/story/711

It’s a lot easier to become a citizen of Can Town than it is to become a citizen of the United States!

https://homestuck.com/story/714

I wonder who input all those commands before WV got on board? Maybe whoever was in charge of building these contraptions in the first place - a Carapacian Lab Rat in the Veil.

Always felt like the unseen actors making Sburb run behind the scenes were one of the nicest touches, they lend an air of sinister mystery even beyond the Guardians.

https://homestuck.com/story/721

I am not good at chess.

Maybe sometime, I will have my friend who is good at Chess analyze this game, and see how he feels about it.

https://homestuck.com/story/735

WV’s Self Esteem is very, very bad.

https://homestuck.com/story/752

Our first introduction to the laws of time travel in Homestuck - the past is a place that materially exists, and in only one specific configuration that can be interacted with. You can only bring things forward from the past if nobody else got to them before you. You can’t go back and undo things that somebody else (or you) has already done according to the canonical configuration of events.

https://homestuck.com/story/757

This is ridiculously cool.

Homestuck’s huge climactic story events are arguably one of the things that makes it so special as a story. I can’t think of a story that does such a good job of building up tension in multiple storylines before having them all converge.

https://homestuck.com/story/760

:D

https://homestuck.com/story/765

I wonder what the exact mechanism is by which Jade is aware of the gaming abstractions and commands to the degree that she is? Is it just her Skaian dreams? This could be a one-off gag, but it could also be an indication of a degree of clairvoyance greater than that which I feel like the visions she has as the Prospitian Moon passes through Skaia.

https://homestuck.com/story/768

Jade loves to watch things grow.

It’s a Space Thing.

https://homestuck.com/story/777

According to BladeKindEyeWear’s Inversion Theory Jade’s complicated and carefully orchestrated time loops, which she uses to connect people with possibilities, is an example of her inverting under extreme stress, acting more like a Seer of Time, her opposite, than like a Witch of Space (in much the same way that Rose acts an awful lot like a Witch of Void for much of the comic’s first half!)

I expect a real Seer of Time wouldn’t need quite so many contrivances to keep track of everything going on in the past and future. Eventually, Jade stops using her colourful reminders, which is probably an indicator that she is no longer attempting to play outside of her lane.

https://homestuck.com/story/789

Pretty much all of Jade’s interests cast her immediately as someone with a pretty strong maternal instinct, something that she shares with other heroes of Space. Jade is a caretaker. 

Her playthings are dolls so she can roleplay the part of a Mom. She grows oodles of plants, and seems to have a knack for it. She likes animals, and though the only animal in her life takes care of her, she puts in some work to take care of him too.

Her interests definitely mark her as the more classically girly of the two between her and Rose, and like her brother is preoccupied with manhood and Dadliness, Jade seems to preoccupied with Momliness - which is odd, considering that she doesn’t have a maternal figure to aspire to! (Maybe the White Queen?)

https://homestuck.com/story/790

Jade is not of course, only girly. The same way that Dad’s culturally out-of-place baking hobby marks him as transgressively feminine to John’s dismay, Jade’s scientific and artillerist hobbies are transgressively masculine.

Although it’s tempting to say that Jade loves the sciences because Grandpa raised her to, or because she’s aping him after he died, she’s clearly born to it. I think about the question of nature and nurture a lot in Homestuck.

I think on the whole, it falls pretty far to the side of Nature. Characters who share a common ancestry also share common character traits more often than not, even in the absence of shared cultural touchstones, shared geography, shared timeline. The same character only has a limited number of possible choices that they could have made, as Aranea will later say.

On the other hand, some characters turn out very different in one life than they do in another. Dirk doesn’t turn out nearly the psychopath that Bro Strider is by the time that Homestuck Proper concludes.

https://homestuck.com/story/795

Squiddles are, as everyone knows by now, a manifestation of the Dark Gods of the Furthest Ring, but I think there’s more going on with them too - they have kind of a horny energy that I can’t quite place. I’m going to come back to that. Any case, they seem to be one of the symbols that Rose and Jade share in common, although Rose subverts the colorful and cute squiddles into icons more of the extradimensional beasties that they actually represent.

Maybe I think Squiddles are a symbol of horny for the same reason that snakes are lewd to Cherubs - there’s definitely something phallic about tentacles, and definitely something intimate about the idea of becoming someone’s tangle buddy. The very first time I read Rose’s handle, I thought it read Tentacle The Rapist, which I suspect is kinda the point, and some of Andrew’s other works have variously described the process of interacting with tentacles as being molested and so on and so on.

Rose and Jade actually share a huge number of symbols in common between the two of them, which I think is great, but also sad - Rose and Jade clearly actually have quite a lot in common, and the two of them don’t really interact very much.

https://homestuck.com/story/797

I’m going to eventually decode Jade’s fascination with animals too, but for now I want to remark that it’s not just the idea of looking like an animal that excites Jade - it’s the idea of being  like an animal that excites her. The exact same little poem is later reiterated by Serenity in WV’s nightmare, as he dreams of losing control of the power of the Ring of Orbs Fourfold and killing everyone he loves. What would be a nightmare for WV though is a fantasy for Jade. The idea of being out of control is thrilling for her.

Dave is also a furry.

https://homestuck.com/story/798

The trappings of a proper gentleman. Monocle. Pipe. Top Hat. Little White Gloves. A proper gentleman without these is a piss poor excuse for a proper gentleman indeed.

SYMBOLS.

https://homestuck.com/story/800

Another spot where Jade is able to interface directly with the audience, in some form or another.

https://homestuck.com/story/802

Jade may have fantasies of transforming into something more animalistic, but she’s not willing to indulge them.

https://homestuck.com/story/803

Jade completely rejects the symbols of witchcraft that Rose so readily embraces.

https://homestuck.com/story/804

Jade contemplates engaging in some Vriskaesque behavior. Is it just because Vriska is watching her? Maybe she’s picking up some Vriska-esque vibes through the feed as the Thief of Light practices her mind control. 

https://homestuck.com/story/808

I think it’s safe to say one of two things is going on here.

Jade is either literally cognizant of the audience and interacting with them, putting her on a layer of the story that is quite a lot closer to us than you would expect of someone as innocuous as Jade (maybe the immediate presence of the Fourth Wall upstairs could facilitate that relationship?)

Or Jade has an active imagination, is extremely lonely, and likes to interact with her imaginary audience as a way of projecting a friendly and hospitable demeanor onto the world around her in sort of the exact opposite way that Rose imagines the worst of everything and everyone?

Or, as it often is in Homestuck, it could be both motherfuckin’ things.

https://homestuck.com/story/829

Did I mention Dave is a furry? Dave is totally a furry.

If we read Squiddles as a symbol of intimate contact with living things, Jade’s computer having Squiddles front and center is appropriate - it’s her point of contact to all the people in her life.

Tune in on the morrow to watch Dave’s Bro beat the shit out of him.

Until then, this is Cam signing off, alive and not alone.

#homestuck #liveblogging #commentary #disco elysium #bladekindeyewear #inversion theory #squiddles

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

animaniacs - season 1 episode 38 - spellbound

episode summary: inexplicably stuck in camelot times, brain tries to get the ingredience for a magic spell that allows the caster to take over the world. this episode has no relation to the other camelot episode and i don't... know why.

the rundown: we begin our episode with the assertion that this is England in 1194. at this point in history, everyone from fire emblem 16 has grown up and is gay married, but we're not focusing on them right now. we're going to camelot and asking about their round table.

lol.

anyway after we see this creepy spider do whatever he's doing, we meet... merlin, i guess.

my dude??? he looks different. did you go on queer eye, merlin? whatever. he technically doesn't say he's merlin, so... maybe he's the other guy? the older guy? who's like merlin's dad?

this fucker. is he in the original king arthur? idk man i only watch cartoons. anyway he is casting a spell and it is very important. important enough to require components from yoko ono, apparently. like she hasn't suffered on this show enough.

but who do we have here?

"mouse" as my flatmate elegantly put it when he walked past the tv room to get a water. but even better than mouse??? mouse in SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS MOUSE IN SHORTS??? MOUSE IN SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS LOOK AT HIS LITTLE LEGYS MOUSE IN SHORTS MOUSE IN. SHORTS MOUSE IN SHORTS. MOUSE IN SHORTS.

YES.

pinky is not wearing shorts, which is incredibly disappointing. he's wearing some sort of sleeveless shirt dress tunic thing in an awful colour that someone like kanye west or justin bieber probably sells on their merch store for like a thousand dollars. he got the yeezy fit, damn. despite the designer status of his clothes, his bedroom eyes still do not convince me.

"i wish i was a windowsill so i could be--! ah. um."

"an imbecile?"

"ah! haha good rhyme, brain!" the bop of the century. kanye west sells the "windowsill" remix in vinyl on his online store for an additional fifty dollars.

after naming a few more celebrities ("I win, you win, edwin newman") the cauldron explodes in a puff of green smoke! and we get!

a pie. “lo!” he cries. “i’ve made a nice pie.”

hm. pinky is impressed. brain is uh. i think he mentally checked out? whatever he's doing i cannot stop fucking laughing at it. i actually had to put this post on pause for longer than anticipated because brain’s stupid face got to me. i’m so sorry. i started writing this at like 11pm gmt on the 11th and it just didn’t get to y’all in time because of brain’s stupid fucking face.

i’m sorry. brain is less impressed and declares it a “waste of magic”, and that he “would never squander such mystical powers over mere pastry.”

“poit. but what if you were eating dinner and you forgot dessert?”

“maybe then.”

but there is trouble afoot! Old Man Merlin has realised that king arthur will want some of his pie, and decides he’d better eat it in the dungeon so that doesn’t happen.

brain takes this opportunity to look through Old Man Merlin’s big book of spells. he “will use merlin’s magic to take control of the world” and then we get another nice closeup of his funny little face.

i don’t know why animaniacs was so keen on doing this? does it happen this much in the reboot? it feels like every episode we stare brain down to assert dominance.

“oh, no, no. where will you find a magic spell for that?”

“in the table of contents, pinky.”

“oh, well, very good.”

(the table of contents also contains a spell to “win at blackjack”, next to the taking over the world spell. brain considers this, for a moment, and then decides now is probably not the time.)

so good thing they have all the components for the magic spell, eh? including the Half Eaten Gingerbread Cookie That’s Been Left On The Counter All Night.

hmm.

oh, wait, no they don’t. turns out they’re fresh out of red dragon toenails, so brain’s solution to this problem is just to... go and get more, which is obviously a thing people do. they have to cross the enchanted forest to do that. it has witches and stuff. pinky rightfully points out that that is a lot of danger to overcome, and brain gets his stealing-the-minivan vibes back and nicks Old Man Merlin’s magic wand. he only knows one spell, but that won’t stop him.

the first obstacle they have to cross is the gingerbread house owned by... witch hazel from looney tunes. she’s a lot less annoying here than in bugs bunny lost in time, and informs brain that she is “waiting for pudgy german children.” instead of taking her suggestion to “get outta here”, brain magics her ass.

charlie sheen, ben vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean.

they do get their ass handed to them by aforementioned pudgy german children, but then the german children decide that the mice have syphillis and yeet them in the general direction of slappy squirrel, who is here now.

she starts an argument with the goodfeathers, who are also here now, and brain takes it as their cue to leave.

but never mind all that! good thing there’s a handy bridge over this stream!

unfortunately, the bridge likes to spawn Giant Purple Hands That Kidnap Goats, so brain concludes they should cross said bridge using Stealth. unfortunately pinky drops the wand on the source of the Giant Purple Hands, and it is... relatively unhappy.

so brain pulls out the old “ charlie sheen, ben vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean” again.

i did definitely think the troll was going to kick him in the crotch. i was very much sure of this, actually. instead it yeets him into rita and runt and fucks off.

“for goodness sake boxy” i hear you cry, “aren’t they at the dragon yet! this review has lasted a good twenty years of scrolling down my dashboard!” and i hear you, and you’re right, but the first thing you need to understand is; pinky has spent this whole episode singing. that little guitar he has? he has spent the whole episode replicating windowsill. “we’re in the woods so dark and stinky, to conquer the world, go brain and--” and then he forgets his name and brain has to remind him that it’s pinky. or remind him of his own name, or suggest like, steam to rhyme with stream. that is the running gag of this episode, and it is very important, at this stage, that you know that. pinky has not, as of yet, stopped singing and playing the lute.

so even though they make it to the dragon pretty mucn unscathed (aside from brain getting sat on by a giant, but i won’t go into that unless y’all specifically want details) pinky just has to have his little song in order to keep the dragon asleep.

and then brain yells at him for forgetting the word “sandman”, which breaks the toenail off completely,

and also wakes up the dragon, which can’t be good. it’s not happy! it was growing its’ nails out for paris fashion week.

brain tries his best to rectify this situation.

“charlie sheen, ben vereen--!”

charlie sheen and ben vereen are dead. i’m sorry to have to tell you. they shrunk down so much they got stuck in the quantum zone from antman and the wasp. someone should probably do something about that.

anyway the mice decide to hightail it back to Old Man Merlin’s.

conclusion: 

spoilies: they do make it back in one piece. i won’t detail the whole chase scene because it’s just a bunch of running, because the post is long enough already, and also because tumblr has eaten it three fucking times and i could basically type all this in my sleep now. the things i do for y’all. donate to the wavemaiden.

so pinky shoves all the ingredients into the pot, while brain finds The Take Over The World Spell. the dragon is harassing them this whole time, which feels unfair.

“listen carefully, pinky. i need to recite this spell exactly, and once i start i cannot stop. so i need you to be extra quiet, okay?”

“sure thing, brain.”

this lasts for approximately five minutes.

“brain’s the boss! he’ll rule with ease!”

“mystical powers, your might unfurled, grant that i become--”

“he’s the one! the big, erm. banana?”

“cheese!” yells brain, who has given up entirely by this point. “it rhymes with ease! big! cheese!”

hm.

“are you alright, brain?”

“i feel. odd.”

this is an interesting development.

so brain is cheese now! cool. i guess they have to wait for merlin to get back from Pie Heaven and turn him back, somehow? with his spare wand or whatever. this is definitely pinky’s fault, because brain did ask him to stay quiet for a bit surprisingly nicely (in brain terms) and he... did not. and now brain is a cheese.

on the other hand, this would probably work again if they tried it again, once merlin goes back to pick up some more toenails.

brain: 2 pinky: 3 outside influence: 5

“can i get you anything, brain? some medicine? a cracker?”

“were i not a large cheese, i would make you pay for that remark.”

#patb #animaniacs #pinky and the brain #a! #tumblr has now eaten this four times. #this time i saved the html though. #anyway sorry this took so long the heatwave is making everyone tired xnx

[anotheruntitledsong]

So I Started Watching Riverdale

Actually, I started watching Riverdale 2 months ago, and I’m almost done with the third season. But I am watching the first season again with my friend, so I thought I’d write my thoughts on each season one episode, just as a fun little thing to do. So buckle up because this is gonna hurt a little, and this has no structure at all.

This is all my opinion! 

-And we are right in with the cringy emo narration. Fun times.

-The town with p e p

-Dude, I'm sorry but Jason and Cheryl’s relationship is so creepy in every way. One alone is fine but the white clothes on a red car on a boat trip in the early morning? The weird sexual tension even though they are siblings? I just- so creepy.

-Calm down Alice, too soon

- ”Smithers” 

-Also I don’t know why but Veronica’s cute little “Hai” made my gay heart explode

- ”Archie got hot”

-I love how Veronica looks like a cross between Little Red Riding Hood and a witch. If this weren’t Riverdale, I’d think it was cool. But it’s Riverdale.

-Oh my god Archie’s outfit for his first day at school? COMB YOUR HAIR! BUTTON YOUR SHIRT! Jeez.

-Reggie can you please shut up I’m sorry

-I’m lowkey kind of scared that Josie and the other girls are dead. They sound like ghosts that are ready to eat your soul. Not to say they don’t sound beautiful but I’m pretty sure they’re dead. 

-Ashleigh Murray is so beautiful I can’t.

-So I’ve seen this episode like 3 times before and every time Veronica says “I’ve tried every flavor of boy but orange” I think of Cheetos. I don’t know why. I just do. 

-Can someone kill Miss Grundy thanks

-This is a point my friend made during the scene where Veronica’s mom is asking Archie’s dad for a job: Who talks like that? Who’s just like “We’ll have to tell them that we knew each other. And as you very much already know, that we dated for a while.” and then Fred like lists all the things she’s on trial for WHICH SHE KNOWS? like who just- the way they are telling the audience information just annoys me

-What are they eating? I only see an apple and water and it concerns me. Maybe I just eat a lot

-Bro can we give Kevin a personality outside of “being ‘one of the girls’ because he’s gay and gay and did I mention he’s homosexual”? They’re literally free and he needs it

-I shouldn’t ship Betty and Veronica but I do

-There are too many B’s in “Bully Betty Into Being A Bitch”

-I’m sorry but I’m only here for the main two girls, Cheryl and Jughead I don’t want to watch Archie do football

-The confusion on Veronica’s face when Betty asks Archie to come with both of them to the dance made me giggle not gonna lie

-Y E S B E T T Y D A N C E

-I love Betty so much, she seemed so happy when she made the cheerleading team and I want only good things for her 

-I want Alice to shut up, I’m sorry but she’s just annoying. I love her actress though

-Ah yes,  I too just have a giant case of clearly fake 100 dollar bills that I can send to my wife from prison. 

-I really can’t tell if Archie’s dad is mad at him, trying to support him, neither, both, or something else

-I lowkey love Betty’s dress

-Archie not having feelings for Betty is fine but this s t u p i d m u s i c t e a c h e r i want to strangle her 

-To be fair it was pointing to Veronica but they could have spun again

-That closet has like cool blazers and board games it would have been so funny if they just trolled everyone and played Uno or something or had a fashion show

-Why is Jughead drinking coffee at midnight sweetheart that’s not good for you

-The scene outside of Betty’s house where she asks Archie if he loves her is supposed to be emotional but all I can think about is how she had a cardigan that matched her dress, put it on presumably when she got home and kept her fancy dress on under it. At like one in the morning.

-And the corpse was found

Verdict: I actually liked it lol. I like the first season, and this was fun so I can’t wait to do the rest of it. But, Jughead needs to sleep, Betty needs to not sleep in her party dress, Archie is boring, and a lot happened in this first episode.

#riverdale #it's so long im sorry

[journeysintowebcomics]

Stand Still Stay Silent Liveblog #63

UPDATE 63: Bite

Last time the crew had managed to successfully repel the trolls and ghosts, although it was mostly thanks to Onni’s help. Let’s continue.

I had stopped when Reynir and Tuuri were inside the tank, most likely wondering what’s going on and not knowing Onni made a fire bird incinerate everything. I’m sure the others will tell them. It’s a bit odd there’s an entire page of these two and the cat sitting around, silent.

Now that I have taken a good look at this, I notice there’s a lot of ominous noise going on. Scratching and hitting. I don’t remember any remaining enemies being around, so...hm...

Suddenly the cat freaks out, clear sign something wicked’s coming this way. It runs around in circles, mewing and panicking, until suddenly I see what I forgot.

I completely forgot about that one. True, one of the trolls got underneath the tank, Sigrun didn’t manage to kill that one in time. It must have sensed these defenseless two, sitting around inside the tank. Now it burst through the floor, getting in here. This is a good chance for you to show new mage skills, Reynir! Somehow! Or maybe not, because Icelandic magic relies on runes, and unless he can draw a rune during the next few seconds without dying he’s not going to be able to do anything. Then again, the characters in this story have surprised me before.

Yoooooo that thing has a lot of impulse if it can leap into the air like that. That’s a pretty big hole on the floor, too. Is it big enough to make them unable to jump over it and run out of this room? Trying to fight it is a dangerous option, so they shouldn’t. Running away is the best idea. The doors here inside the tank should be sturdy enough to resist the troll...I hope. The bottom may have been the weakest spot because they may not have expected a troll large enough to pierce through it yet small enough to get underneath it. Or...you know, a troll strong enough to knock the tank over and then pierce through the bottom. Pretty big oversight, makers of the tank.

Thankfully, Lalli seems to have sensed something’s going on inside the tank, because he rushes towards it, gun in hand. Ah, perfect! I won’t be surprised if the shock of seeing a troll getting shot to death in front of her makes Tuuri not want to go outside the safe walls of the military settlement anymore. It’d be an interesting character development.

One shot through the head is enough to kill the troll, pretty much guaranteeing this room is unusable for the non-immune forever and ever. No way this can get cleaned enough.

...

...

...

...oh. Oh, damn. Does this mean what I think it means? Did the troll injure Tuuri, therefore infecting her? Will this have...repercussions? Damn, Onni is going to be so upset and scared. For Tuuri and Onni’s sake, I hope she doesn’t get infected. Not very sure how likely infection is if a troll injures you. Isn’t it a guaranteed infection?

Does this mean...Tuuri is doomed?

...

But really, Onni is going to freak out.

I’m pretty sure Lalli is freaking out too, even if his panic is kept inside. Just...

...just look at his face when he goes to get Mikkel. He looks so defenseless right now; I don’t remember seeing Lalli like this ever before. Poor kid...

Some distance away, in an abandoned building, the ghost horse is wailing, for some reason. Grief? It seems to be leaking a lot. Maybe it really was hurt during the skirmish. More ghosts surround it, it’s a rather creepy scene but it also has sadness in it. It’s kind of hard to put into words.

The contrast of that with the dawn is also rather nice. Superb work, Ms. Sundberg.

That was the end of the chapter. Next is chapter 14. Geez, I didn’t think a crewmember would really be in mortal danger...I know I have talked before about how dangerous something is, or how possible it is that someone might die, but it’s so different to theorize about it and then actually seeing it happen. I have to wonder what kind of author Ms. Sundberg is, if she’ll let Tuuri die or if she’ll miraculously survive. Goodness...this may take a good while before it’s settled.

Also, I’m concerned about the potential infection in Sigrun’s arm. I hope that won’t injure her irreversibly or require amputation or something. I know Sigrun would take that like a champ, but...it’d still be quite harrowing for us readers, yeah?

Chapter 14. I don’t think Tuuri’s situation will be cleared during this chapter, given how it’s a recent development, so I wonder what’ll happen during this one. The start of their journey to the point where they’ll be picked up. The problem is that I don’t think they’ll let Tuuri onto the ship because she may be infected. Even if she doesn’t die, what if she’s a carrier? I hope they’re not forced to leave her behind...

Mission Control is informed of the current situation, meaning Onni is likely to know by now. I’m surprised he’s not demanding to talk with Tuuri, or maybe he is and he just isn’t close enough to the microphone for him to be heard.

Meanwhile, outside the room, Mikkel is sealing the place Tuuri is at, establishing a quarantine for her. Reynir will stay on this part of the tank. Although the current mood they want to establish is somewhat optimistic, they also need to be ready for the worst-case scenario. Good attitude, in my opinion. It’s the right one, even if it’s kind of gloomy.

Someone really needs to fix that hole in the floor, and also disinfect it. That’s pretty much a vector of dangerous rash illness for Reynir.

If Onni doesn’t know by now, then Tuuri is willing to tell him now, but it’s not possible. You see, Onni is not in condition for that.

He wasn’t hit by lightning, but the shock from the effort must have been pretty similar to that. I wondeeeeer...perhaps Reynir can tell him? If Onni is in International Mage Hub, that is. If he isn’t there for some reason, then he’s truly screwed. I just hope he finds out soon...it’d be quite horrible if he woke up and then found out Tuuri is dead, if she dies and he’s in coma. Damn, that fight the night before sure changed things around!

Lalli was right overall, they shouldn’t have taken this detour. He must be feeling so bad, maybe even blaming himself for not getting them to stop.

Tuuri is pleased, not because Onni got hit by lightning, but because this way she can run away from the need to tell Onni that she may or may not die. Not only that, she tells the rest of Mission Control to not tell him, she wants to do it herself...if she does tell him. This can only end well! That was sarcasm. He really needs to know. He’ll worry like crazy, but he needs to know. I don’t think he’ll forgive anyone if they don’t tell him, especially if he feels he could have done something about it somehow.

Goodness, how things got to this point...

I’ll stop for now.

Next time: in three updates

#Stand Still Stay Silent #ssss liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

[todisturbtheuniverse]

so i inexplicably dove into reading New Canon sometime at the end of last year. it was Leia that really kicked it off. i’d been reading various books as they appealed to me--The Force Awakens and Rogue One novelizations about when they came out, A New Dawn right after Rebels wrapped up, Dark Disciple because Thom was like, “you’re going to like this for x, y, and z reasons and be mad at it for a very big reason.” (and boy was he correct.) after reading Leia i decided, okay, fine, clearly we’re rebooting that time when i was 13 years old and scouring the Barnes and Noble for all the EU books i could find, let’s fucking do this proper.

and damn. it was worth it to get to Thrawn. more blathering, not at all cohesive, and containing spoilers and references to various New Canon books ahead...

my huge hesitance about doing New Canon proper was the, uh. glut of Empire-POV books that i saw on our shelf. (we’ve been buying them for a good six-eight months now to make sure they were all available to us whenever we wanted to dive in.) there was something unnerving about that. i got hit with Lords of the Sith and Tarkin pretty much at the outset of my little jaunt, which was rough at times.

i’m of two minds about these books. i mean, 1) i am definitely interested in anything that gives us more of a look about Vader’s headspace post-lava incident, however narrow. The Clone Wars sold me on Anakin Skywalker in a way no movie has ever managed to, both in making him more interesting and likeable to me and in making his fall seem so much more plausible (don’t get me started on how i would restructure the prequels). so getting a look behind that weird faceplate--finally--is bloody and Very Bad but also interesting. he remembers Ahsoka in Lords of the Sith. he remembers Rex. he thinks on these things, as if he can’t stop himself.

but 2) there’s only so much, ah. rooting. that you can do for the Empire. obviously. i think i’m safe in assuming that’s not the point of these books (and indeed Lords of the Sith gives us a nice look at the early Free Ryloth movement to root for and a truly absurd goal for them to accomplish, so there’s that), but i find myself wondering what the point of these books are. for all that Tarkin cut such an imposing figure (and still does, definitely) my cynicism can’t let me believe that he was more than a good plot tool rather than a particularly complex character--i doubt all this stuff about Tarkin’s backstory, which comes up in the novel, was ever in Lucas’s dizziest daydreams. but i sure got treated to a lot of Weird Tarkin Backstory in Tarkin. is it necessary? is it relevant? i’m having a hard time figuring out how.

but again, the bit of fun i had with this book? it was in Tarkin’s interactions with Vader. specifically his musing on the identity of the creepy fellow in the weird armor, who certainly shares some qualities with Anakin Skywalker. The Clone Wars revealed that Anakin had actually known Tarkin, before the fun trip to the lava seaside. it stands to reason that Tarkin, who at the very least was hailed as Scary As Shit and Good At His Job at the time of the original trilogy, would put some clues together.

so that’s...interesting. maybe its own purpose was to be interesting, idk. i’m probably overthinking what is clearly an enormous cash grab by Disney, or something.

all this to say: this was the kind of Empire-POV stuff i was having a hard time thinking i could get into. because they’re just Evil doing Evil. Vader might think about Ahsoka on rare occasion but he’s not going to stop force-choking people because of it. that redemption ship doesn’t come into harbor for a fair bit.

and then. we get Thrawn.

as i mentioned way up there, there was a time after i’d first discovered Star Wars that i perused high and low for the Extra Content. i think one of the first things i came across (bearing in mind that the EU was not supremely organized or continuous or anything) was the Thrawn trilogy. being that this was nearly fifteen years ago and i haven’t reread them since, all i really remember is that Mara Jade is The Best, Thrawn was a villain like no other villain my child self had come across, and i loved them. a reread is probably in order and will maybe disappoint me, or so i always thought, until Timothy Zahn threw Thrawn and Alliances at me and said, take that, i’ve still got it.

Thrawn sort of gets into some of the same traps as Tarkin, except that they felt way less like traps because i was interested in how Thrawn comes to be part of the Empire. that was always part of what made him interesting, to me; he’s somehow a Grand Admiral, has risen through all those ranks, even though he’s not human. so even though we take these little leaps of backstory through years of Thrawn’s early existence in Imperial space, and it feels like we take a lot of time to catch up to the actual plot--it’s neat as hell, because we’re seeing the Empire through the eyes of not one, but two people who are outsiders to it. and yet, simultaneously have to exist inside it.

it’s so easy to generalize the Empire as this grayish blob of evil. many of the random crew and deck officers in Rebels don’t even have distinguishing facial features; i’ve heard Liam O’Brien’s voice come out of an awful lot of them, with the brims of their caps pulled low over their eyes, their faces cast in an odd grayish light that seems to wash the life from them.

it is evil. it is definitely, definitely evil. but there are so many people in it--people like Eli Vanto, the second individual referenced above--who are just existing in it, trying to make the best of it, because they have no real options (or power) to do anything else. some of these people Get Out and join the rebellion, or just Get Out and vanish, but not many of them have the resources to do that, and that’s the look that, to me, gives this grayish obelisk of evil some kind of complexity worth looking at.

and then Alliances. the neat past-present switch that juxtaposes Anakin/Vader, Mitth'raw'nuruodo/Thrawn. i loved that shit. it showed more new stuff about Vader, probably reminded me of all the reasons i was fascinated by Thrawn as a kid even if i can’t really remember, and best of all, delighted me with various instances of Thrawn just. flat out. trolling. Vader. and not dying. imagine! all these not-at-all-subtle hints that Thrawn knows exactly who Vader is under that mask and the entire book Vader just keeps thinking, no. even this asshole. this tactical genius. cannot possibly know my true identity. it’s impossible. The Jedi is dead. 

(that was another cool thing, btw. Zahn really took how Vader thinks and elevated the shit out of it. having him always refer to his past self as The Jedi was very effective.)

all these dueling loyalties come out to get real ugly on the surface: Thrawn, having sworn to serve the Empire, still manipulating the scene in whatever way he can to benefit his people. (how is Eli doing in the Chiss Ascendancy? I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT TO FIND OUT.) Vader, recalling The Jedi’s past trouble with those dueling loyalties--to his people (the Jedi, the Republic) and to his people (Padme). having now decided that “even rescue” is, as Thrawn once said, not worth sacrificing victory.

but Vader’s loyalties are still in far more flux than he would let himself believe. because he is sure, on the one hand, that Thrawn is walking the line of treason. Thrawn throws every tool he has at this to get his way, to do things and have the outcome he wants, up to and including calling in a debt that Anakin Skywalker owes him--expecting Vader to repay it. and Vader, who has murdered people for far less, lets himself be talked into it, lets his curiosity string him along, lets the probing comments about “the last time we were here” and “we discovered this about cortosis” and all this we, we, WE that refers to The Jedi pass without incident.

all this to say: he sure wishes The Jedi was really dead. that would make his existence so much easier. and i’m probably reading into it, and all, but i think Thrawn and his weirdly opaque analytical mind sees that and is poking at it a-purpose. to what purpose, who can say? Thrawn’s always about a dozen steps ahead of everybody else, by design. he has a long game.

this is just a stream of consciousness ramble at this point about how many Thoughts i have about Star Wars, and it’s very late on a Friday night and i’m tired, so i’ll stop blathering on. TL;DR--i was wary of reading books from Imperial POVs and while not particularly gracefully done in some cases, they surprised me. there are some gems in there.

#universe reads

[izupie]

Voltron Ghost Adventures AU

“So – just to make sure I’ve got everything – you’re sending us into an abandoned castle.” Lance looked over his shoulder, through the night, at the dark and twisted pile of rubble, that was apparently once an extravagant castle belonging to a foreign Lord. “A wreck,” he amended, “you're sending us into an abandoned wreck.”

“A haunted abandoned wreck!” Allura corrected, clapping her hands together. “But don’t worry, Coran assures me that the ruins are perfectly safe to enter.” 

That wasn't reassuring.

She checked a watch on her wrist and began scribbling on a clipboard while she continued, and Lance frowned as his unease increased. “It may look like a mess, but the structure inside is still mostly intact.” She said in an airy voice.

Mostly??

“Apparently the basement is almost completely preserved, it looks just as it did all those years ago, and it’s where the ghostliest activity has been recorded – isn’t that exciting?” Allura looked back up from her clipboard and flashed Lance a reassuring smile. But an unmistakable gleam of eagerness in her eyes made his frown deepen and his shoulders sag in defeat. This was not going to end well. Probably mostly just for him.

‘Exciting’ is not the word he would use to describe anything to do with the paranormal.

“Okay. That’s all great and everything, but... why?” He pouted. “We’ve always explored ruins, and we’ve never needed ghosts involved before. That was a good tv show - Hunk was scared enough without the ghosts,” he added. "And my co-host wasn't Keith in that show either..." Lance muttered, fully aware it sounded like he was whining, but he had to at least try one last attempt to make her reconsider. Allura checked her watch again then moved across from him to a huge green tent nearby, carefully stepping over the lengths of thick wires snaking to it from her van (tackily emblazoned with the bright turquoise logo of Allura’s production company ‘Altea Studios') and waved enthusiastically to Shiro as he walked by hefting a camera onto his shoulder. 

Having not replied to him, Lance wasn’t sure whether she’d even heard him through her haze of producerly planning, or had just decided not to answer.

Through the darkness of the moonless night he could just about see her say a few things to Pidge, who was already in the tent. Pidge was wearing a large headset and was sat at a table with three monitors squeezed together on top, which bathed them both in an unearthly glow. Pidge nodded and handed their producer four small earpieces, then adjusted her large glasses, chuckling and glancing back in his direction. Allura giggled. Lance folded his arms. 

He looked away and noticed Hunk waving around a long thin piece of metal, attached by a cord to a box in his other hand. Hunk looked at the box closely and repeatedly, then looked a little bit sick, and Lance let out an amused huff - that stopped abruptly as he saw Keith nearby also smiling at Hunk with amusement. His dark clothes made Keith difficult to see in the darkness; but Lance had no problem picking out the shape of his silhouette from the dim residual light from the tent, or the way it caught his rare gentle smile.

Eventually Allura came back and gave Lance a friendly pat on the shoulder. He looked at her expression and paled, knowing there was no way she was backing down; pure ambition was shining in her eyes. (What lengths would this woman make them all go to for a good show?)

She finally replied to him gravely with a smile, “Ghost Adventures make money.”

This is thanks to a whatsapp conversation with my friends.  (I want to write the rest of this ! Would anyone wanna read this??)

Has this AU been done yet? It’s been done hasn’t it?? Ah well here’s some more info about this AU anywayyyy

·        Allura is an ambitious producer starting up her own studio, but so far the only tv show she’s made has been a ruins exploration show featuring Lance as the presenter, Hunk as his co-presenter, Shiro on camera, Pidge on research and translation and Keith in post-prod.

·        She decided adding ghosts was going to be a good twist to the format.

·        Now there’s Pidge in the tent outside whatever haunted hell pit Allura sends them to, watching the live footage and talking to them through their earpieces (and laughing at them)

·        Lance is one of the co-host/presenters - doing most of the ghost hunting (and internal screaming at ghosts) (he hates paranormal stuff) along with

·        Keith who is the other co-host/presenter - who doesn’t actually believe in ghosts but enjoys trying to get Lance to scream at stuff (too much)

·        But his poker face occasionally cracks when things get super creepy

·        Hunk is the sound guy/holding the ghost detector guy who just really doesn’t wanna be there

·        So he hums tunes to calm himself down but that ends up making the atmosphere creepier

·        Shiro is the fearless camera man

·        Who kind of feels like he’s there to look after these kids

·        Pidge trolls them all the time through their earpieces like “hey guys, I think I just saw something over Keith’s shoulder”

·        Or “Did you just hear that?!”

·        (Lance falls for it every single time, getting increasingly creeped out like FFFFFF GODDAMMIT PIDGE)

·        Lance cusses a hell of a lot when he’s scared but Pidge bleeps it all out in post-prod

·        Allura is the producer who somehow keeps on managing to get them all to agree to increasingly creepier places - because she knows it’ll make tv gold

·        She even adds extra story to the places they go in to make them more scared than they should be

·        And makes extra effort to watch out for the weather so she can send them to these places on moonless nights and storms for extra creeps

#voltron #voltron fanfiction #voltron au #klance #voltron fanfic #vld #voltron vld #vld fanfiction #klance fanfiction #klance fic #klance au #vld au #my fanfiction #voltron ghost adventures #shallura

[highglossfinish]

Tattletail

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room.

Leo: Maybe um... give it a moment? It takes them a little time to see posts... Cardinal: Hello! Knock Out: That would be the purpose of the frogs. Knock Out: Cardinal! Hello! Cardinal: ((*rollin my sick *** into the chat vroom)) Knock Out: Is the stream cooperating? Can everyone see the frogs? Cardinal: Alternate!  It's been too long! Knock Out: Hasn't it though? Cardinal: I . . . see a beautiful "Offline" screen. Cardinal: Very colorful. Leo: ... there's frogs? Leo: Oh dear... Leo: It was just working! thenightetc: Same thenightetc: I mean, same that it's offline.  Also it's lagging horribly, I can't even see what I'm typing Knock Out: Any better? Faeline: Well, there's video and sound this time... >.> thenightetc: oh! thenightetc: There it is Faeline: Why are there frogs? Knock Out: Excellent! Knock Out: Who cares? There's something!

Cardinal: I see them! Faeline: And flute music accompanied by... quacking? Cardinal: Very nice. Knock Out: Hmm...still there? Leo: I don't know why it could have started off like that, we checked it ten minutes ago. Thenightetc changed their nickname to thenighetc. thenighetc: *switches browsers* Leo: That creature is unsettling... Faeline: Is it some kind of demented furby? Knock Out: So you can still see it? Knock Out: It is indeed. thenighetc: Yyyyyes Leo: Yes, doctor. I'll ping you if something goes wrong on our end. Cardinal: ((A++++ design, totally looks like a legit 90s toy Knock Out: Excellent. Then without further ado, Tattletail! thenighetc: So this is what, a horror game? Knock Out: It is. Faeline: Looks like. Leo: I-I still can't believe... um, that I almost let Radar watch the stream with me... Leo: O-On Thursday! N-Not tonight! Knock Out: Please never let Radar see this. Knock Out: Or know that it exists. Thebes: Hello, I hear we are watching the furby-being horrors! Leo: That was why, um, I had a caretaker... um... come get him. Faeline: Why is the creepy music box tune a Christmas carol? Cardinal: Because Santa is about to show up and shame Rudolph for his noseglow. Faeline: Do not shame Rudolph! He can't help it. Faeline: >:( Cardinal: Don't tell me, tell Santa. Leo: ... what are you talking about? Faeline: Is this going to be Gremlins: the Game? Faeline: Rudolph is from a children's story. Leo: ... what is it? Faeline: He has a bright, shiny red nose. The story is about ~accepting your differences~ Faeline: with the unfortunate implication that as long as you're useful, you can be as weird as you want. Leo: ... I-I haven't read much Cybertronian history, but... wasn't that the basis of the caste system? Faeline: Maybe? I'm not much of an expert on Cybertronian culture. Leo: ... y-you would think that I would be, but... well Leo: I-I missed the mechanics, what does the yellow symbol mean? Faeline: I thought you were... whatever Cybertronians are instead of born... after the war had... uh. thenighetc: That you're making noise? Faeline: It's a sound symbol. Not sure what they're using it for here. Leo: W-Well... I... remember some things... th-they're not my real memories, but I can use them sometimes... thenighetc: (by the way everybody, do NOT update Firefox. :') Flash hasn't worked at all since I did this morning.) Faeline: Sorry, that was probably awkward. thenighetc: (*is slumming it in IE now*) Leo: N-No, i-it's okay! Faeline: (Thanks for the heads up.) thenighetc: (Going to see if I can roll it back a version or two after this.) Leo: Our patch is similar to um... "Google Chrome," and ours work just fine... Faeline: A french fry? Ewwww. thenighetc: (Don't have that one, just Firefox, Opera, and IE.  :S) Leo: "Nope!" thenighetc: (But thanks!) Leo: Oh dear... that noise... Faeline: Yikes. thenighetc: I'm sure it means something GOOD Leo: It sounds... um... like an engine stalling out... Cardinal: . . . thenighetc: ...are they implying they blindd her Cardinal: Is the horror aspect that these hideous toys aren't returnable? Thebes: this can only be a good thing Leo: N-Nexus below... th-this is horrifying... Knock Out: Just popping up to save the chat log, don't mind me! Faeline: So what do we all think happens on Christmas? thenighetc: ...presents? Leo: I-I don't even want to think about it... Faeline: Maybe it'll be good! Maybe Ninja Santa will come to save us from the hell-furby. Leo: W-w-wait... wh-why are there two now... Leo: AHHHHHHHHHHh thenighetc: !! thenighetc: You know, this is just like that Elf on the Shelf movie. Leo: ... wh-what? Faeline: There was a movie about that? Why. thenighetc: You know, I don't have a good answer for that? Faeline: The Elf on the Shelf is a doll that you tell your kid is watching them. It's supposed to be cute, but it's actually horrifying. Leo: ... wh-why does it want to watch them? Wh-what does it want? Faeline: It's an inanimate object. It doesn't want anything. Faeline: The whole thing is made up as a ~flight of fancy~ for the kid, because clearly kids are incapable of playing pretend on their own. /sarcasm Leo: ... b-but why does it "watch them?" thenighetc: It's made up to scare them into behaving. Faeline: I'm not sure? I think it's supposed to be reporting to Santa but I'm not sure. Faeline: I never had one. thenighetc: ...What just happened Faeline: Who knows? Faeline: Maybe we're having a nightmare and at the end of the game we wake up. Maybe we're feverish and hallucinating. Maybe this is hell. Leo: N-Noises are, um... certainly a... um... main mechanic, aren't they...? thenighetc: "no I hate parties" Faeline: How can you brush it if it's solid plastic? thenighetc: Nah it has fur.  Short fur, but stil Thebes: well this isn't at all creepy Faeline: Here's a better question: what if I smash mama with a poker? What then? Leo: I-It's like that game where there's the... um... what are they... trees. Faeline: Trees? Faeline: There's a horror game where you're menaced by trees? Leo: W-With the trees. A-And the notes. Faeline: Oh, Slender. Leo: M-Maybe? Faeline: For some reason I was thinking more along the lines of When Trees Attack. Leo: I-I'm sorry... Faeline: Nah, it was my misunderstanding. Faeline: Slender makes more sense, I was just thinking about the villains instead of mechanics. Leo: I-It's like the tree game... and um... and the fox game. thenighetc: Yeah, there's definitely some similarities to Five Nights at Freddy's thenighetc: ...combined with the worst escort mission ever Faeline: ...the worst escort mission ever? Leo: N-No, th-there's worse ones. thenighetc: You know.  Having to bring some terrible little creature everywhere with you and look after it and stop it from getting you killed. thenighetc: ...I'm just saying. Faeline: I know what an escort mission is, I just wasn't sure if you were referrring to a specific one? Leo: ... th-there's an old game that R-Ratchet had a copy of... um... th-there were /so many/ escort missions... thenighetc: Oh!  Nah, I just mean fffffffffffffffffffffffffff Leo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Rangers_Dino_Thunder_(video_game) Leo: Th-This one. S-So many escort missions. Faeline: Huh. Sorry, I haven't played that one. thenighetc: Huh Leo: A-Always have to um... escort the big one and i-it moves S-SO SLOWLY! thenighetc: ...Yeah, there probably are worse ones than this.  Just.  Y'know.  There are similarites. Knock Out: I'm turning up the lights and it's not cheating because I already beat this disaster once. thenighetc: Apparently there's this WOW escort mission where you have to escort some old lady somewhere and she moves incredibly slowly and makes all these digressions. thenighetc: And then as soon as you finish she SPRINTS off Faeline: y i k e s Cardinal: You know we would support you even if you were cheating, alternate. thenighetc: Pure trolling Leo: A-And target damage i-is the worst! Faeline: Leave it to WoW to take it way past extreme. Cardinal: ((holy *** neighbor's cat just popped up outside my window and scared me Leo: Y-Your neighbout should w-watch their cat... Leo: Y-Your neighbour, excuse me... Knock Out: Scrap. Am I supposed to look straight at her or away from her? Knock Out: I STILL don't know. thenighetc: Ah well you see the uncertainty about what you're supposed to be doing is all part of the... ludonarrative... mumblemumblemumble... Leo: Th-The text says she moves when you don't look... I think you're not supposed to look at her... thenighetc: ...I just noticed that your footsteps are really way too loud on the grass, carpet, etc Knock Out: SCRAP SCRAP DRAINING GLITCH. Leo: A-And if you make a loud noise too close, like that thenighetc: Actually, too loud on the tile and stone, too!  Like the player character wore big heavy boots to bed for some reason Thebes: then again, we've all had those times when everything was so quiet we felt too loud thenighetc: True.  Maybe it's just loud in their imagination. Leo: I-I think that's what the yellow symbol is for? I-If you make too much noise while the "Mama" is close... maybe it makes her attack? thenighetc: (Imagine if Audrey kept saying "Give me a treat!" instead of "Feed me") Leo: ... th-that's the plant that sings and kills humans, right? thenighetc: That's the one! Leo: R-Ratchet listens to songs from that film... a lot. I-It's one of my favourites now... thenighetc: Yeah, it's pretty great. :) Cardinal: So you have to keep fulfilling the demands of the small Tattletails to keep the noise down so Mama won't find you? Leo: W-Well they talk anyway... thenighetc: It actually creeps me out how they're having you build this sort of shrine in the basemen thenighetc: t Knock Out: Oh, thank the Allspark. Leo: ... th-that's the plant that sings and kills humans, right? thenighetc: That's the one! Leo: R-Ratchet listens to songs from that film... a lot. I-It's one of my favourites now... thenighetc: Yeah, it's pretty great. :) Cardinal: So you have to keep fulfilling the demands of the small Tattletails to keep the noise down so Mama won't find you? Leo: W-Well they talk anyway... thenighetc: It actually creeps me out how they're having you build this sort of shrine in the basemen thenighetc: t Knock Out: Oh, thank the Allspark. thenighetc: What? Leo: I-If the game is moving, he doesn't um... doesn't answer. thenighetc: (What is this thing eating.  HOW is it eating.  Its mouth clearly doesn't go anywhere) Faeline: its mouth goes directly to hell. the food is dissolved by lava. Thebes: (also, what consitutes 'real food' that lets a toy differentiate from, say, humans) Leo: L-Literally stared death in the... um... demon holes Thebes: So this is happening thenighetc: ...apparently? Cardinal: . . . Leo: Wh... Wha... thenighetc: imagine the parents being woken up by this and coming downstairs Faeline: My mom would've killed me. Just, bam, grounded until I'm dead. Thebes: possibly would also have trouble sleeping for a while Leo: Sh-She doesn't move if you look at her... thenighetc: I guess the downside is she doesnt move AWAY if you look at her...? Leo: W-Well... that's why she wasn't leaving... a-and why he got Mama'd Leo: ... I-I think Bumblebee is getting a little freaked out by the audio... if he can even hear it... considering all the jokes latly... Leo: ... oh no, "lately," excuse me... Faeline: Is this phase just going to go on forever? Knock Out: Just...hard. Knock Out: Oh no, it's beatable. Faeline: Oh, you're reloading. Not sure how I missed that. Leo: Y-You could have fooled us... Leo: ... oh dear, that was rude... where did that come from... Faeline: Sorry, my brain seems to have turned inside out. Leo: ... um, y-you know what's a r-really fun horror game? Th-The Park. thenighetc: What's it like? Leo: Um, you um... y-you play as a... a human, and she goes into a... um... amusement park? Is that what you call it? A-After closing... um... because her... um... offspring ran in there Knock Out: Hah! Did it again! thenighetc: So there are... monsters?  Spooky rides? thenighetc: *cheers* Leo: U-Um... a lot of just... um... jumps. N-No monsters... thenighetc: so what would have happened if you'd answerd the phone...? thenighetc: Hmmmm. Leo: B-But the um... the human? She... um... sh-she's not so uh... not so sane... a-and the park h-has things about it... thenighetc: What kind of things? Knock Out: And that's that! Leo: ... wh... but... wasn't she g-gone? Knock Out: And I have no idea. Knock Out: Apparently not. Faeline: I'm a bit confused myself. Knock Out: Collecting all the eggs is supposed to do something, but then...well. Faeline: But there's over 200 of them. Holy crap. Leo: A-and The Park um... has... th-there's a lot of "accidents" that happened... a-and the... what is it... um... they wear animal costumes... Faeline: The mascots? thenighetc: Maybe you have to collect the eggs before the ritual Knock Out: It said you just had to find 22, but clearly that was a lie. Knock Out: What filth. Faeline: We could check youtube and see if anyone else was that crazy. Leo: ... i-is this a mascot? http://blog.timesunion.com/christopher/files/2009/08/102_2509.jpg Knock Out: I could and I will. Faeline: Yup. thenighetc: Yep! Knock Out: Right now, I'm just glad Livestream didn't choke and die on the floor in front of us again. Faeline: Yyyyeah. thenighetc: That was a trip, anyway. Knock Out: It was, wasn't it? Knock Out: Thank you all for coming along on...whatever ride that was. thenighetc: Thank you for hosting! Knock Out: Always a pleasure! Faeline: Yeah, thanks! 0u0

#Stream chats #long post

[autumnpawtribe]

Seeking the Raptorblood - Jura

Xiao's smile widened slightly to something hopeful, giving her one last nod before standing up. "Celestials watch over you, Reshka." The wolf transformation both surprised and impressed him, looking at her once more before walking out. He knew where to go now. He didn't summon his cloud this time, it wasn't fast enough for such a long distance. He let out a sharp whistle and that beautiful thundering ruby cloud serpent of his came flying down to him so he could mount up. Within moments he was steady in the saddle and guiding her back up into the sky. He could only hope his mate was already there, waiting. If not, well... then it would be time to wait until he came back. He hoped for the former, he'd done enough waiting. When Xiao arrived at the spot Reshka had pointed out, there was a small cottage, human in style, log and stone on the outside.  There was a short fence, more the type of a small stone wall to keep little feet from running toward the cliff.  The door was not locked, but a familiar raptor pair was guarding the door.  Honor and Valor, both of Vol's favored hunting companions were curled up on the inside of the door, prepared to rip anyone who entered to shreds.  It was only when they recognized the Pandaren that they stood down and whistled a shrill hello.  They would let him in after sniffing him for a bit and then going out the door to hunt, leaving Xiao alone in the house. The house was empty of life, save for the retreating raptors and the pandaren. Xiao smiled at the two raptors. What a welcome sight. He actually went so far as to hug Honor, knowing he was the more stable and tame of the two, scritching those little head feathers gently. "Did you miss me, hm?" He cooed quietly before letting them go run off to hunt. He sighed and looked around the home. Empty, he was afraid of that. The fact that Honor and Valor were left, however, meant Vol wasn't going to be gone for too long, otherwise he'd have taken at least one with him normally. With an empty house, well... there was one thing to do. Snoop! Normally he would feel guilty invading someone's privacy, but it was his mate, it would be like invading his own privacy. After all, they were going to be married. "What's yours is mine, and mine is yours", that's the old saying, right? As such, he began to explore the home, partially out of curiosity and also just for some damned information. He'd come this far, if he could find any indication of what he could do next short of just playing the waiting game, he would.

There were two bedrooms, and spare items from all of the houses to furnish.  The bed from one of the spare rooms at the Vale was in one room, a crib at the foot of the mattress.  The crib was a deep stained brown, looking like it was used before, and trollish in nature.  Laying on the bed was a hammock, almost looking like a cradle that would be hung from the rafters with sturdy rope and chain.  A pile of soft furs, a bone rattle with fur and leather, and a small case of changing cloths and bottles was laid in a corner.  It looked as if the move was hasty, but organized. Xiao stopped when he saw that crib, walking over to it and smiling a bittersweet smile. All of this... he'd missed all of it just for some gold. To think his fiance would actually think he wouldn't want him anymore or this child. He took a slow calming breath to settle his emotions, his paw pads trailing along the worn wood slowly. He sighed and moved to sit on the bed, grabbing the rattle now and just holding it, feeling the leather and absorbing his emotions in that moment. It finally hit him how distant he'd been, how busy he'd been, how distracted he'd become trying to get gold when he knew Vol wouldn't care one way or another. He'd become so caught up trying to build this life for Vol when the only life either of them needed... was the one with each other.  For some time, he would just sit there, holding the rattle, and silently letting tears trail down his cheeks. There was a small knock on the door, a tall, familiar face wandering in, speaking rapid, lyrical Zandali.  The troll addressed Vol'raka but the rest was said too quickly for non native speakers to pick up.  The male troll went into the other room, not coming out.

Xiao was pulled out of his thoughts and hurriedly wiped the trails of tears down his fur, rustling the lush pelt just enough to try and make it look somewhat normal rather than being matted down where the tears trailed. He heard his mate's name, but knew it wasn't his voice. Anything beyond that was way too fast and way too foreign for him to understand. He bit his lower lip. Should he come out? He certainly couldn't just wait in there like some murderer and have the poor man wander in and see sudden surprise panda. Announcing himself seemed like the better option. He cleared his throat and spoke out, the heavily accented Pandaren voice starkly noticeable immediately as NOT Vol'raka by any means. He came out of the room as he spoke, peeking his head around the corner of the doorframe cautiously to see who the mystery Troll was addressing his mate. His guess was Jura but he couldn't be sure. "Hi, I uh... am not Vol'raka, obviously." He offered a sheepish smile. "Good to see you again, I was... well, I was waiting for him since I don't know where he is keeping Naddja." Jura, Vol’raka’s elder brother, turned, staring at the Pandaren for a moment, cursing himself for not realizing the life he sensed was not his brother.  "lil Mango Mon."  He gave a smirk and kept unpacking, knowing it was best he break out of these quick.  "What bring ja ta dis house, hmm?  Mah lil bruddah not be 'ere."  The look on Jura's face was neutral.  "An ja been cryin' ah smell ta salt from ja tears and ja eyes red."  He was still turned away, now unpacking a few soft toys, one a creepy looking black and gray doll.  "Ja gonna lay ja burdens out, or ja gonna wait til ja find his ovagrown Darkspeah ass?" Xiao hissed at himself inwardly for not accounting for those damned noses. He sighed and letting out a defeated chuckle. "I never was good at lying or uh... subterfuge. I was told Vol would either be here or with Naddja. Considering that Honor and Valor were outside, I figured he can't be gone from here for too long, so... I planned on just waiting." He said as he came closer. "Here, let me help?" He asked as he rounded the box to stand by Jura's side and help him unpack if the man allowed him.

“Ah wouldn't be waitin' long.  Last ah smelled dat girlie, she be closah ta er time den she be tinking."  He smiled, unpacking a little red stuffed raptor.  "Vol's.  Held on ta et fer em.  Nevah thought he be needin' et.  He left Honah an Valah 'ere fer weeks.  Not be countin' on dat  He got othas fer huntin'."  The room they were in seemed like it was meant to be a child's room, but was mostly bare save for the child size bed frame and wool blankets thrown over the windows to keep in the heat.  Jura finished pulling things out of his crate and set piles of clothes and blankets for both child and father against the wall.  There was a desk in the corner, a pile of accounting books and Vol's journal of raptor bloodlines.  These were things he kept with him when he could, some of his blood lines near and dear to him.  There were things missing, the pile of books strewn around and one missing.   "Not be used fer a baby fer a while.  Seem he moved 'is accountin' tings in 'ere.  Last day or two ah be tinkin, from da smells."

Xiao paled then as he helped, holding onto the little raptor plush. "Wait you mean he might not come back until after the baby is born...?" The fear was as clear as day on his face. Missing that birth would shatter him, who knew it'd mean so much to him, but there'd be no way for Jura to mistake that look.

"Not know what he gonna do.  Ah know he set ta come 'ere fer safety.  Ah see dat look, Xiao, ah can't help ja.  Vol not tell me where he smuggled da mama off ta.  Ah know he move some goats cuz he gonna be needin' milk.  Rest of et, ah been bringin' mah daughtah's clothes fer em  She out grow em, so et be good use."  He stood, dusting his legsoff.  "Dusty house fer a new one.  Dwarves know dey shit though.  Ja keep lookin'.  Ah smell da oil Reshka use.  Know where ja been.  With that, he picked up his crate and wandered out, barely ducking his head as the door was built for his brother. Xiao brought his hands up to his face to rub at it slowly, clearly stressed out as he bit back a groan. "Reshka doesn't know where he is either. I do not know what to do. I... I cannot miss that child being born, Jura... I want to see our child being born together..."  He whimpered. "Yes, our child. I do not know how much Vol told you, about he thinks I might leave him for this..." He shook his head. "I would never dare... he is my family, that baby... is my family. I... I cannot imagine him thinking anything but. I need to be there... I need to be there..." He leaned against the wall of the hallway now and let out a shaky sigh. "What do I do..." He whispered to himself before it hit him. He hurried back into the babies room and immediately opened that desk. It was Vol's accounting things, maybe it'd mention somewhere the other house. It was his last hope, he didn't care about pushing boundaries, he could apologize later if it meant finding the man he loved. In the pile, the notes for Krait's Jetty, The Vale house, and Jade forest were there.  Vol tended to keep detailed records of where he put his livestock and his money.  He'd killed too many people to not monitor where the gold went.  Accounts and payments, the flocks of raptors and small herds of goats were accounted for.  If Xiao looked, he would see that three goats were taken from each house and the Krait's jetty books settled completely.  The Animals from the camp had been moved to the Vale, all raptors accounted for, though many animals were sold or apparently butchered.  Three of his female raptors were marked with x's for some reason.  To the side of the desk was a contract, seemingly between mother and father.

*** Contract between Vol’raka, Son of Un’lai and Naddja, Daughter of Jansevet. The child born of this union will be named and cared for by its father.The mother will have no claim to the child after the birth.  This means that the mother may not return to claim the child later.In the event that something should happen to the father before the child is of age, the child will be raised by his family. The mother’s family has no claim to the child in any situation.  The mother agrees to leave, within three days of the birth.The mother agrees that she does not wish this child and all things shall lie upon the father as soon as her labor is complete.  The sum of ten thousand gold, three raptors, a herd of ten goats, and other goods equaling five thousand gold pieces shall be given.  These will be useful, but at the discretion of the father.** Below the writing, three people had signed.  All in Zandalari runes.  Next to the contract were the books of Vol's investments, the totaling fifteen thousand gold not quite a fourth of what was accounted in the record before him. Xiao furrowed his brows as he saw the contract. That was something he didn't expect. It made sense, but to see it all written so clinically like it was just some trade. Some things can't be avoided, but it still made him a bit uncomfortable for some reason that he couldn't quite pinpoint. Then he saw three signed runes. He knew one was Vol, one was the mother... who was the third. He assumed it had to be Kit, but again he had no way to get in touch with her that he knew of. "Celestials, please... something..." He whimpered to himself. "There has to be something I am missing..."

Xiao pored over the notes again, grumbling to himself. Such extensive notation, everything marked, everything kept track of. What was he missing. "Wait..." His eyes widened. "What is MISSING!" He hissed to himself and looked over the notes again. A book for each property; Krait's Jetty which was long done with, the Vale, the one near the monastery... he had more houses than that. "... Oh my sweet Celestials you have got to be kidding me." He said with a disbelieving chuckle. Just like that, he grabbed the stuffed raptor and the rattle before reaching for his hearthstone and using it to pull him back across Azeroth over to the Vale. From there, it was a very speedy flight over to the Kun'-Lai house. He landed silently, having taken his cloud as he abandoned his poor cloud serpent in the Eastern Kingdoms; though the greatly intelligent creature always found its way back. He took a deep, calming breath and opened the door. He could only hope he was right

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

I watched another film and wrote about it. Not a horror this time, more of a fantasy film but some definite weird/horror visuals in parts Troll

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. I was recommended to watch TROLL 2 as a horror and thought TROLL 1 would need to be watched first. Turns out they're completely unrelated but whatever, TROLL is an 80s fantasy film, but dark in its own way as we will see... Slow zoom into a book, sitting alone and light up from light through a stained-glass window. Could this film be anymore 80′s? The book opens and no-one's touched it! What a surprise... The moving company is called Starving Students, what a nice cheery company. I don't know if that's an actual company name or the directors real life situation. Dad drives off and leaves the family to load in the boxes and do the heavy lifting. Typical male avoiding hardwork, although I do like that the mum is doing all the heavy lifting Ignored daughter with the sickeningly sweet blonde hair and bunches has to chase her ball... she gonna dieeee! Yeah, disembodied hairy arm has now grabbed her-so long dear! The troll is small and hairy, doesn't look like he'd be much of a threat to people trying to cross a bridge Lovely weird green light - state of the art special effects here. Oh look the trolls now turned into the girl, I wonder if he knows enough about human anatomy to have thought this plan through? Or being a troll instead of human, will he not need to use the toilet? The brother is now looking for Wendy (the girl) and asks if she's been playing with dead cats? Like, why is that a valid question? Seems like the real Wendy was into some pretty freaky stuff even before this film Troll knows enough about English to carry on full conversations with the parents but can't eat properly Kids run out and suddenly they're running  downstairs instead, they go out the front door and then coming back downstairs again - what Euclid geometry is in this building anyway Guys upstairs says he's into swinging...I don't know why you would mention that when meeting new neighbours Also they're having a full conversation while the fire alarm is going off, like ok there might be a fire but moaning about kids is definitely what you should be doing right now Dad is called Harry Potter...shame they didn't trademark that... Everyone seems to think this is a false alarm but how do they know? So lucky they're not getting burned right now. Dad is being slagged for being able to read, what a strange attitude for people who are literally in a book. Troll is trashing the place, tries to bite dad and still hasn't been controlled. Supernanny would have a lot to say about these parenting techniques Oh she was playing Godzilla, how does the troll know who godzilla is? Does he have access to Wendys memories because he now looks like her, or was horrible troll this up-to-date with pop culture? Breakfast scene in the morning was obviously filmed in the evening judging by the light coming in through the window Troll knows enough to dress himself as a little girl at least. Troll throws the brother at the wall and he can't admit it to his parents because the unrealistic and sexist pressures put on him by society wont allow him to admit he was beaten up by (what he thinks was) a girl Swinger from upstairs is a sexist alcoholic, oh dear how predictable. Troll has stabbed swingerman with his ring and now he's bleeding, swelling up and turinging green. I really hope people didn't think this was a kids movie cause that would cause serious nightmares Ah, he's turned into a plant. Troll is just trying to counteract global warming by turning pollutive humans into foliage. Now theres baby trolls and creatures coming out of this plantlike mess...are they his children? or did he turn the man into them?? this is so confusing Old lady has a weird singing mushroom type thing in her apartment on the top floor-she's obviously friends with the troll and the reason why the troll chose to live in their building specifically Boy casually accuses old woman he's just met of stealing. She seems to accept this with no indignation at all. Jr is oversharing with random old woman - no get out run away she's mixed up in it all! Having turned someone into a plant troll is now back to looking like Wendy and playing ball in the middle of the road Troll knows about godzilla but seems really confused at a taxi. Saved by a dwarf who I'm pretty sure was only written in to show how weird this film is. I hope he was paid well for this farce. Ex-marine across the hall is looking at maps on a pool table while holding a baseball bat, there's guns and trophy heads on the wall. It's like someone searched for "manly man" and filled the apartment with everything that came up on google "I've stared death in the face" "what does it look like?" What a very important question. Seems like in the 80s people cared less about where their five year old little girls were, stranger danger and parental responsibility obviously weren't a thing back then. Marine man is now also a plant that spawns weird creatures. "Harry fell down, I just don't understand any of this." Listen hen as far as you know your son just fell down-simple as. It's the audience that don't really understand this weird fucking film! Parents keep talking about the girls "little friend" and its the dwarf from earlier-100% written in so the mum could offer a 30yr old dwarf a glass of chocolate milk. Dwarf is at dinner apparently so he can recite a poem from memory, because why else would your daughter invite a 30ish english professor to dinner? Weird plantspawn creatures in the other apartments are singing to the tune of the poem...because reasons. Old womans mushroom tree thing with eyes is joining in - I knew she was part of it! Their song lyrics seem in consist of random syllables but I'm sure I heard "ebola" in their somewhere... Old woman looks creeped out, like you had the weird mushroom thing in your living room what did you think would happen? Jr is watching tv in his bed where apparently everyones pets are being turned into 'Pod Person From The Planet Mars'. Is this trying to tell us the trolls are aliens...? Another breakfast scene filmed in evening lightening... I wonder how the mushroom feels having a lampshade dumped on it everytime someone visits this old woman "Why are you here?... You're different?... It's not normal?" Jr is a cheeky shit to this old woman and is forgetting whose house he is in, and who is the only friend he has so far. Old woman used to be a princess but is now a witch, ok why not I'm sure there's a reason for this somewhere Troll-wendy knocking on a door and womans like "I have to get changed, you can stay here if you want" like NO BITCH get that creepy girl out of your house! Another apartments occupant turned into plants-although giving birth to a humanlooking female instead of more trolls now. Mushroom has followed Jr and old woman to the kitchen, how? Did it hop in its plant pot? Can it walk? Bf comes to meet the last person turned to a plant - DONT TRUST HER SHE WAS BORN TWO MINUTES AGO FROM A PLANT! Chase through the jungle in the apartment and now they're outside and there's four women for some reason... Troll is there back to looking like a troll, sorry dude he has stole your girl! Wherever this girl goes people keep offering her juice to drink. The 80s was obviously more trusting of adults, and adults were more friendly to weird kids showing up on their doorstep. Trollwendy looks upset that the dwarf is going to die, like he hasnt been killing people randomly all week. Michael (dwarfs) story is giving a real normal insight into the struggle of someone born with dwarfism, completely unexpected from this film. Nope, trollwendy is over it and looks like Michaels getting turned into a plant now. Didn't think that seriousness would last long Old woman knocking on doors with a golden spear like she's gonna fight the whole close. I wonder what she'd say if one of her neighbours actually did answer? "its the weekend" "do you know what day they dropped the bomb on hiroshima?" "a weekend, maybe?" I wonder who the hell wrote that and what were they smoking at the time? Harry Sr says the woman upstairs is the wicked witch of the west, very nice to slag off your sons only friend right in front of him. Wasnt that when you let Jr go to hers for breakfast! Jr is repeating lines from his Pod People tv show and Sr asks if his wife did drugs? Like his weird behaviour couldnt come from your side of the family? Or from an uncaring and inconsiderate father and the whole family moving house? Golden spear actually shoots lightening at troll creatures, who knew? Plants are taking over the hallway but when Jr gets to old womans house he neglects to mention the impending doom and just has some hot chocolate. "Before there were countries there was just one place with humans and faries" So, pangea? I didn't know they had faries. Geography would've been a lot more interesting if they'd told us that. Old woman was in love with a prince, prince fought with the fairies against humans, humans won, prince got turned into the troll. Apparently by taking over the whole building its actually a fairy universe and will burst forth and troll will have taken over the world... I think that's what she's trying to say? Why conquer countries all you need is a shitty apartment block! Also real wendy is still alive because the troll wants her to be a fairy princess, six year old and evil thousands of year old troll, real creepy arranged marriage Troll only has three days to take over the building-he's doing quite good he only has two appartments left. Troll has "always been melodramatic" apparently. Nah I think it's this acting and weird plot that's all melodramatic. Old woman unpins her hair and suddenly she's 50 years younger, it's true-a new hairdo can make you look different. Jr says he's waiting for a stray dragon, Sr doesn't ask where he got the large golden spear from. Old woman is now a talking tree stump after facing the troll, and her appartment now leads outside too "What is going on out there?" "I dont know but I'm listening to the tree" wise words Sr, wise words Troll stabbed his own monster to save the six year old, because apparently he cant find another blonde girl to be his princess. Well that was lucky but very stupid of him Family are now moving again but this time they just have a suitcase each, no moving vans this time somehow? Also that was the quickest packing I've seen I think that's stupid anyway, what's the chances a troll is gonna try and take over that exact same building in the future? That buildings probably the safest one cause if he tries again it'll be somewhere different. Police man tells them where the station is to make a statement - but they're not being arrested and I'm not sure what crime they think has been comitted? Ok so I was wrong, the laundry room is still a jungle and troll is killing policeman. Maybe a good idea to move.

#me #personal #film #Troll #liveblog #review #very 80s

[omari-senzo1]

The Story of Herobrine Part 1

I love today already. The sun is shining, the animals are eating away the long grass for a nice lawn. Only a great game of catch would be nice, but with who. Steve is away but he’ll be back in a month. Maybe Notch will play, we always do but I hope his homework doesn’t get in the way.

I started walking to Notch’s room. It was big and had many pieces of paper pinned to the wall with all kinds of ideas to fix and help the world. He was asleep on his keyboard. The screen showed a way to make this world a peaceful one. I woke him up and he said

“Yes, what would you like brother?”

I asked if we could play catch at the park with everyone else.

“Ok, just let me change into some clean clothes.”

After he got dressed we ate some breakfast. I ate my favorite “Creepy Creepers”.

After breakfast we started running to the park. When we got there it was packed with so many kids. All so nice and active. Notch ran over to the nearest pond and grabbed a squid and gave it one of his inventions, the potion of regeneration. We tossed it to each other until I missed a catch and I fell with a squid on my face. Notch picked it off and I couldn’t stop laughing. After a hour of playing, we decided to go home.

I asked If we could race on the bridge. He said

“Sure, but don’t leave me far behind.” We started running, I was going really fast until I fell onto the gravel. Notch picked me up and carried me home.

It was like that for about 12 years. Us always playing and having fun. I’m 25 now and my brother is 29. He finally wanted to try out his invention that would fix this world. He needed me to do it because his invention would give me the powers of a god, just like him. One day I went to the old ravine that we found during our childhood. At the edge stood Notch near an elevator. He told me

“Come on, we have to do some work under the bedrock level.” That sentence surprised me because in this world bedrock is unbreakable even to the strongest tool of all.

I got on and we started heading down. When we were reaching the bedrock level I saw just a giant hole in that level. Under the bedrock level was an enormous cavern with waterfalls and oceans everywhere. Under us was a stone brick temple with two giant and ancient crystals. These were called “The Crystals of the Enders” for they came from the dimension that was the most peaceful of all until a great dragon burned and destroyed the land. All that is left are towers, pillars, small islands, and the great island of the dragon. The surviving enders were either corrupted or escaped to this world. Redstone linked them together and more redstone lead to a slap that had two holes that could fit someone’s feet inside them. Notch said then

“Put your feet in those holes and once you're ready I will turn it on. With this you will be able to stop all the trolls and griefers.” I stood in the holes and he flipped a lever. It exploded and I a surge of anger and power that made me want to kill everyone. The cavern turned into a red land of evil. Notch landed next to a lava fall and he disappeared and all that was left was glowing powder. I turned the temple into a fortress, turned the elevator into a giant fire breathing ghost ,and the crystals into golden fire demons. All the dead people will be zombies and skeletons. The dead animals would be zombie animal men. I will have my revenge on some day…

My brother has left me in the land I called the Nether, but one day my other brother Steve opened a portal somehow and walked into the Nether. I was so glad that he did this that I gave him a piece of the center of the Nether, it was a shard of the Nether Star. I used his portal to find myself in the basement of our old home. I walked outside to see so many people out and about. I walked up to one and when he looked at me he screamed in terror.

“It’s the Ghost of Herobrine!” I told him then

“I’m not dead, unlike you...”

I grabbed him and he turned gray and fell. After a couple of seconds he became a skeleton. I did this until no one was left in the city. I was walking away when I heard running behind me. I turned around to see Steve was charging me with a big diamond sword in his hand. I knew what it was but I didn’t know until now why he entered the Nether. He knew if he let me free I would give him a shard. With that shard he must have made the Great Diamond Sword of Doom. I ran into the forest and he yelled

“This isn’t over brother, we will meet again, I promise you that!” I felt that I was all alone now. Now me eyes that glow like the moon is my only prize.

I ran throughout the woods until I stumbled upon a great house. And outside stood Notch on his computer. I read Steve’s journal to know that Notch is now creating all kinds of creatures. I went onto his balcony and I put a anvil on top of the railing and started pushing it off. Notch just created a giant being when the anvil destroyed his computer. Notch ordered the being to attack me. The being grabbed the anvil and threw it at me. I now know that this is what I will become, an enemy of The Creator.

My battle against Notch has been going on for years. It has grown tiresome. I turned his pigs into zombie pigmen. I turned his cattle into a red mushroom cow. Once he made the portal that lead to the land of the Enders. I fell and landed on the island of the dragon, but I had learned how to control evil things. The dragon then became my pet of destruction. I was free of the land by learning how to teleport to different dimensions. I came back and turned men and women into anything I could think of.

One day Notch stood alone next to the edge to the old ravine. I snuck up behind him and grabbed him by the neck. I wouldn’t let go until he was dead. After a while he stopped struggling. He looked up and beams of golden light shot out of his eyes. I let go and he fell. A golden firework exploded silently and his color disappeared. I was smiling until I realized what I did. I had killed my brother, my friend, my protector. I was in so much grief. The sun never rises now and I still was a ghost to the people. I decided then to carry his body to the greatest city in this world. It took a month, surprisingly his body didn’t change in any way.

When I was at the heart of the city I dropped him at the base of his statue. I unleashed all my anger onto the city and it’s people. Buildings burned, people died, Withers shot bombs everywhere. I killed many people. The dead turned into zombies and skeletons. I walked up to Notch’s statue and exploded it. I floated into the air. I realized then that I did nothing in my life but when I was still a mortal.

Hello my name is Steve, and this is the war of the world. After Herobrine killed everyone, I ran to the godly village. This village was in the mythical realm called the Aether. Their all good things go when they die. This realm is protected by five great beings. The first is the Stony Eye. It sees the future and can slow down time. Next the Great Angel Queen, she lives with the cloud whales and she destroys all evil that is nearby lightning. The third is the Fire God. He protects the minerals and the clouds from darkness by using the power of the sun. The fourth is the Aether Dragon. This monster patrols the skies and gives great souls, gods, and heros a lift to any place in the Aether. The final protector is the king of the Aether, Atlas. His kingdom sits on the highest cloud. He watches everything in the known universe. Only the three brothers together can defeat him. The village is in front of his kingdom.

I called for the Aether dragon to give me a lift. It was a long journey to get to the village. Once I reached the village, I went straight to the doors of the Labyrinth of the Stoney Eye.

I’ve been walking in their for five days and I still don’t get why this creature wants to live in a labyrinth. A couple days later I finally found the lair of the Eye. There he sat, in the middle of the room sleeping. I took a step back and his eye flew open as though someone had just yelled.

He said “What do you seek from me? Ah, you want to know what has happened to your two brothers. Herobrine is destroying the great city with Withers. He is doing this because of his grief. He has killed Notch and the world below is dark and dead.” I couldn’t believe him, but he knew of what happened for that is why he was created.

“If you want to see Notch and get some advice, go to the home of Death. He lives in the dark realm of the Nether. The king’s of this galaxy and dimensions are in trouble. Herobrine is going after them.”

I have finally made it to my old home. Everyone is gone and the world is falling apart. Ravines, caves, pits, and fires are everywhere. I entered my basement and went through the portal. On the other side was a giant castle in the ocean of lava. I looked at the top to see that this is the kingdom of the Blazes. I looked at the gates to see the undead killing the golden creatures. After ten minutes, a man walked out in demonic armor. He was holding a syphe and the head of the Blaze King. I ran to a dark cave for this was where Death is hidden. I walked in the dark until I saw a glow. I stopped because the glow were two red eyes staring at me!

“Why are you here? Coming to steal my power for Herobrine? Wanting to steal my life, my soul?” the creature said.

“No, and I don’t know if you're living, dead, or undead?”

“I’m Death and I am nothing but something. I am the darkness of the Light. What do you want from me?”

“I would like to talk to my brother, Notch.”

“Ah, you’re Steve the fighter of the Dark. We are enemies but I will let you speak with Notch’s soul and mind.” A figure as bright as a thousand suns put together appeared. It was Notch! He was such a good person that he became the Prince of the Light.

“Hello brother. It is good to see you again.”

“I missed you too brother, but I need help. Herobrine is too strong for the Diamond Sword of Doom, what do I do?”

“You need to go and make the Dragon Sword of Death. You will find it’s ingredients. The first is the Great Dragon’s Blood. A hero like you named Jeb destroyed the creature but it costed him his life. The Ender Titan’s kingdom has many vials of the blood. You must make peace with him. Then you must go to the land of the Great City. The city is under the control of the Zombie Lord. You must take the Zombie Heart from his castle. Finally you go to the dark swamps and find the witch named Begara. She will make the sword with the heart, the blood, and the Diamond Sword of Doom.” And my quest began.

Ah, the world is mine! The Blaze King and the Creeper Queen are dead and their minions are under my control. I haven’t seen Steve in so long. I wonder what he is up too? Maybe trying to make his Diamond Sword of Doom to be able to kill me. Ha. He can’t win, I am far too powerful now.

My minions are walking along with me to the Kingdom of the Zombies. I sent the Blazes to find Death, for he can kill anyone when it is the time for them to die. If he was on my side I would have nothing that could challenge me! The great Zombie King will not defeat me or my minions. His zombies are too slow and weak then my archers and bombers. Victory will be mine!

I’ve made it to the city and out in the distance I saw a white stallion with a man on it. They were heading to the old stronghold that had the portal to the Enders. I told one of my minions to give me a telescope. When I looked through the telescope I saw that it wasn’t just any man, it was Steve! And on his back is the Diamond Sword of Doom and a a piece of paper in his hand. I don’t know what he is planning but I must stop him. My minions and I were running after him. I watched him through my telescope and after a couple of minutes he turned around and then he started going even faster. He must know of what I’m planning to do to him, so I picked up speed.

We were a mile away when he reached the stronghold. I felt a surge of anger and hate. I ordered my men to stop him as quick as possible. The stronghold was a labyrinth but I knew my way around. When we reached the portal chamber, I saw that Steve was putting down the last eye. I yelled

“You can’t run for much longer brother! Your time has come.” He turned around and said “I’m sorry for this brother.” And he jumped in.

I ordered my men to go after him. We jumped and landed on the final place of the realm. We were where the dragon died and the Ender Titan took rule over the land. To the looks of it, Ender was restored and the great city was remade. At the top of the highest tower was the castle of the Titan. I used my telescope to see at the gate stood the Titan shaking hands with Steve! In Steve’s hand was a glass bottle with purple liquid inside. I remembered that the Dragon’s blood was the only purple liquid in this galaxy!

I yelled “Charge!” and my minions started attacking the city. The guards of Ender fought back but were overpowered. I teleported to the top of the tower and started fighting the Titan. He was strong, but he was caught off guard. He fell to the ground and when I was going to give the final blow, Steve pushed me off the tower. The Titan grabbed Steve and threw him into the portal. I don’t know where he will be going but I must stop him. I turned around to see every Ender teleport away. The Titan said

“You will pay for what you did to my people. The council is forming again and you will be destroyed.” Then he teleported away. I know of the council. They are the three Kings, The Skeleton King, The Zombie King, and the Titan. And the Queen of the Slimes. Oh I hope they don’t agree on fighting me.

I got away from my brother with the help of the brave Titan. I was transported to the outside of the Zombie King’s castle. I walked up the steps to see to golden armored zombies guarding the entrance.

I walked up to them and said, “I need to talk to your king about a threat to his kingdom.” The first guard said “Why should we trust you?”

I replied “Because if you don’t you will die by the hands of my enemy, my brother, Herobrine.” With my brother’s name said the doors opened as quick as possible. at the doors came the king himself. He had no shirt. He had a iron crown on his head and his left arm was broken.

He asked me “What do you know of him?”

“I know more than you do King of the Dead. He has taken the Nether, The End, and the lair of the Creeper Queen. He is marching his army here as we speak. I know of a weapon that could destroy him, but I will need the Zombie Heart.” He nodded and grabbed the gem from his crown and placed it in my hands. I thought the Heart of the Zombie would be a real heart, but it was a purple gem.

I thanked him and said “You need to evacuate the city or your people will die by him.” I rode away and all I could here was the King preparing his men to fight.

I camped for the night in a old tower near the edge of the King’s home. I was getting sleepy until I heard a hiss outside. I looked out the window to see an army of Enders, Creepers, and Blazes marching towards the castle. They had eyes as red as the red moon in the sky. In the front, riding a zombie horse was Herobrine in his demonic armor. He held the Scythe of Israphel in his hand. He was talking to a diamond armored Ender.

“You take your men to the right and left sides of the castle. The Blazes will go in the front to fire upon them and I will lead the creepers to blow a giant hole in the back. He will not leave this place.” The Ender then lead the other Enders to the sides of the castle. A Blaze in golden armor lead the other Blazes to the front and Herobrine ordered the creepers to explode at the back when he says “Now”.

He waited in front of the Blazes to give them the order to fire. He yelled “The King of the Dead come forth and surrender to me or blood will be spilt.”

The Zombie King walked forwards and said “We will not surrender to you! Steve the Hero has warned us of what you have and we are prepared.” Herobrine’s eyes started glowing red at the mention of me.

“Why was he here in the first place you foul beasts of odors!”

“He asked us for the Zombie Heart and to warn us of you!” Herobrine looked very angry now. He yelled fire, attack, and now and the ground shook of the Enders charging and teleporting and the Creepers exploding. The castle was still standing and to the looks of it they had some obsidian to stop the wall from exploding or breaking. Herobrine was so furious that he flouted off his horse and shot a beam of light at the wall. The wall disintegrated and the Enders charged into the castle. The zombies lasted for a longer time than any zombie ever had! But the Enders were too powerful. The Zombie Kingdom fell but the Zombie King escaped with the rest of his people. There is only one place the zombies would go, The Kingdom of the Skeletons…

I hate Steve! He ruined everything! He stopped me from achieving victory over the council by helping the zombies out! I must find the Slimes before Steve helps them! I need to find the dark swamp. The only thing that can kill a slime is Begara the Witch. With her on my side the council won’t survive. ARGH, I hate Steve! I don’t know what he’s up to but I must figure it out!

I’m almost there, soon the witch will help me kill the council. I can see her but, wait, why is there two shadows inside? She doesn’t have a husband. I need to know who is in there. I quickly and quietly ran up to the window, I had no idea who was in there so I took the risk. I looked inside to see the witch crafting a gleaming white sword with blood, a gem, and the Diamond Sword of Doom. I know it must be Steve in their because he is the only one with the Diamond Sword of Doom. I looked at the other figure and now I wish I hadn’t came here. I turned pale to see the ghost of Notch in the room standing right next to Steve! I don’t know how his ghost escaped from Death!

Notch then said “Hello my killer, my brother, Herobrine!” He disappeared and I turned around to see him staring into my eyes.“You haven’t been giving this world any kindness or love? What has happened to you my brother?”

I replied, “I have grown stronger and I am what all creatures fear. But how did you escape Death?”

“He let me go brother to help Steve stop the darkness that you caused! Death is free and he is looking for you!” With that a cold wind blowed past me. And out of the swamp’s waters came two giant golems. They were as black as obsidian and had lava eyes staring at me! From behind the golems was a giant knight! It had the face of a Wither, his sword as big as a house, and armor as dark and cold as the night!

He spoke “I am the Wither King, Head of the Council, General of Death’s army! You must be destroyed and your soul taken to Death!” He ordered the golems to kill me but I teleported away. I couldn’t kill something that strong with those kind of golems. I need the armies of blazes, slimes, creepers, ghasts,enders, zombies, and demons. I must get to the Slime Queen.

I ran outside to see Herobrine teleport away. I looked towards the water to see a giant knight and golems sink into the water. I looked to my left to see Notch. He was fading away.

“Steve, you must go to the Fields of Death once the council is ready. There you will lead the armies of zombies, enders, skeletons, withers, golems, and slimes to fight against Herobrine’s armies. You must kill Herobrine on top of Ravenhill and once he is dead the land will be free and the separate kingdoms will go back into one peaceful land.” With those final words, Notch evaporated. I ran inside to see that Begara had finished the sword. She said

“Take the sword and the most deadliest potion I have. Use the potion when you see Herobrine again. He is going after the slimes as we speak. Go!” I ran out the door and hopped onto my horse. We were going straight to the Slime Cave.

We’re finally at the cave when I heard the shriek of a woman. I ran inside to see the queen slime be killed and cut into tiny pieces by Herobrine. I whistled and he turned around. He smiled and said “You are foolish to confront me Steve. Prepare to join Notch!” He lunged at me but I dodged. I threw the potion at his face and he started screaming

“AAAAAA! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!” I told him that I threw a potion of Wither at him. He screamed in agony and I left. All I could hear was him cursing my name and Begara for what has happened to him.

It has been three days since I saw Herobrine. I’m at the gates of the Skeleton Kingdom. This place is a dangerous place for good willed beings. I walked through the gates and headed to the castle. Everywhere I looked I saw were skeletons, enders, zombies, golems, and wither skeletons preparing for war. I rode further until I reached the doors of the castle. I got off my horse and walked inside. Inside was a giant room with a green runway. At the end stood a throne made of iron and iron swords. I walked behind the throne to see a meeting room. Inside the meeting room stood the council, arguing.

“We must fight! He killed my people!” said the Titan.

“I agree with the Ender King. He destroyed my kingdom and turned some of my loyal men into his slaves and warriors!” said the Zombie King.

“We must not fight, we must defend what is left of the council. Do you agree Wither King?”

“No Skeleton King. We need to fight for Death is free and he’s trying now to escape Herobrine for he plans to use him as a weapon! We must fight!” I yelled out

“I saw we fight!” They turned around to look at me. The Skeleton King said

“I know you have a sword that can kill your brother but we must wait for the Slime Queen.”

“The Slime Queen is dead.” They all turned around in shock!

“She died by the hands of Herobrine. I know this because I saw him do it before I could help her but I have injured him by using the potion of Wither on him. He is weak but angry.” They talked for at least for ten minutes until the Titan stood up.

“We will fight at your side Steve.” Then the Battle of the Fields of Death began.