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ghostsray · 4 years

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Danny Zombie

(now that the dannypocalypse is over, here’s my second @phicphight 2020 fic, this time based on @burning-clutch‘s prompt: “Reverse ghosts au. What would the odd ball rogues gallery be if they were human? Or perhaps Phantom turned Fenton? How would the human cast be as ghosts?”)

(word count: 3591) (AO3)

(part 2)

The teenager climbed over the cemetary gates and dropped onto the ground on the other side, being careful not to break her guitar. Not many people found comfort in the burial park, but Ember McLain was not most people. She had decided early on that she was going to be a rockstar. Whenever she found herself stuck on a song, she found that coming to this place helped her clear her mind. She held her guitar in front of her and gazed across the moonlit graves.

In the middle of the night, in a lonely cemetary

Under the gaze of the moonlight, a place that's just for me.

Was that too goth to use as lyrics? She strummed her guitar softly and was about to try working out a melody, but she paused when she heard something. Moaning coming from behind that tree. She walked over to it and looked around. "Ew, gross," she said with a grimace.

The couple who was making out hastily stopped. They blushed, not expecting to get caught, before Johnny glared at Ember and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Ember countered. She smirked and added, "Honestly, I thought you'd be too scared to step foot here at night."

Johnny huffed, but Kitty cut in and explained, "There's no better place for privacy than an empty graveyard...or so we thought."

Ember rolled her eyes and stepped back from their make-out spot. "Whatever," she told them. "I just hope the dead are fine with you two fucking over their graves."

"Like you're one to talk," Johnny retorted. "Playing a concert to corpses?"

Johnny must have meant it as an insult, but Ember thought that sounded like a badass song title. She was about to tell him as such when Kitty suddenly shuddered. "It's cold," she commented.

Johnny gave Kitty a flirty smile that made Ember want to punch his face in. "You want to borrow my jacket?" he smoothly asked.

But Kitty didn't say that as romantic bait. Ember shivered as she, too, felt the cold growing around them. She slung her guitar onto her back and hugged her arms just as the wind picked up. And it picked up strong. Ember had to plant her boots into the soil to keep herself from being buffetted by the gust. Before her, Johnny and Kitty held onto each other.

"A storm?" Kitty exclaimed over the whistle.

Something wasn't right, though. The wind seemed to be converging into one swirling spot right inside this graveyard. Ember turned to face the direction the wind was moving to, her brown hair flying around in her vision. All of a sudden, despite the lack of clouds in the sky, a bolt of blinding green lightning flashed down and neatly struck one grave.

The afterimage of the flash was still lingering in her eyes when the whirlwind faded as quickly as it had started. A split second later, she felt the pressure drop and the breath leave her lungs, as if the earth was sucking up all the air. She shielded her eyes as a second flash of light appeared in the same spot (and this time, she could swear it came from the grave) before the air finally settled back to normal.

Seconds passed. Nobody spoke.

"What the fuck just happened?" Johnny finally broke the silence by saying.

Ember said nothing, only stared at the grave where the lightning had struck. Gingerly, she picked up her feet and began to walk toward it.

"Where are you going?" Kitty called to her. Ember glanced over her shoulder and found the other girl still in Johnny's hold, her dyed hair sticking out wildly from being abused by the wind. She was staring at her with wide, scared eyes.

Ember gulped and kept going. She was now close enough to the grave to make out the name etched onto the tombstone: DANIEL FENTON.

Ember stopped in front of the mound and realized she had no idea what she was doing. Nothing peculiar was evident in the grave, nothing to suggest that it had been hit by the strangely green lightning.

Then--a hand broke through the soil.

A scream rang behind her, one you would expect to come from Kitty but was actually from Johnny. Not that Ember could judge, considering she jumped ten feet in the air and backed away in bewilderment as the hand--the human hand sticking out of a grave--fumbled around for a grip and began to pull the rest of its body out.

Ember removed the guitar from around her shoulders and held it in her hands like a baseball bat, watching the living corpse with baited breath. The soil shuddered, then parted as a dirt-specked head poked through. Black hair, pale skin, and sunken eyes. The eyelids fluttered open, revealing eyes that were as green and radiant as the light from before. Eyes that stared at Ember.

Ember screamed and swung her guitar at him.

The head bobbed in place comically for a second before it fell limp onto the earth. Ember dropped her guitar/weapon and scampered back. Now that the undead boy was unconscious, Johnny and Kitty gathered up enough courage to approach the grave and stand by Ember's side.

"What the fuck," Ember heard Johnny mutter over and over under his breath.

Ember tensed her muscles to keep them from shaking. Slowly, she moved back closer to the grave. When the body didn't stir, she dropped to her knees and observed him closer. His nostrils were flaring, air coming in and out. Breathing. Somehow, alive. Just to make sure, she tentatively held out a shaking hand and pressed it against his wrist. Her fingers were met with a soft but steady beat.

"He's alive," she said, unable to believe it.

"How?" Kitty asked, voicing the question that was in all their heads. "We just saw him crawl out of a grave."

"I--I dont know."

Ember watched the boy...Daniel Fenton? breathing softly. He looked so young and peaceful, it was hard to imagine he had ever been dead. Ember tightened her grip on the boy's wrist. Then she stood up and started to pull him the rest of the way out.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Johnny exclaimed. "That's literally a zombie."

"He's not a zombie," Ember replied with a grunt as she tugged him out of the earth. "Zombies are dead."

"Alive or not, there's no way that guy's a human. I mean--" He gestured wildly to the grave and then added, "I swear, this is how horror movies start. Don't blame me if he eats our brains when he wakes up."

Ember set Daniel on the ground and knelt next to him. She didn't understand what was happening, or how he could be alive after crawling out a grave, but she couldn't just leave him inside a grave. He couldn't have been any older than 14, a year younger than she was. As she observed him, she saw color seep into his pale cheeks, hiding the idea that he had ever been anything but alive and healthy. For a second, she found herself doubting whether she had imagined his grave, but a quick glance over her shoulder told her that the dug-up grave was still there, and a second look at Johnny and Kitty's expressions assured her it was no dream.

The boy stirred, making Ember jerk in surprise. She watched as he inhaled, then dissolved into a coughing fit.

"Are you okay?" she reflexively asked, then realized after she said it how ridiculous the question must have sounded after she had whacked him in the head.

Daniel's eyes flew open, revealing icy blue irises. That was weird. Ember could have sworn they were green before.

He took in a breath, then another, as if he was new to the sensation of breathing. He stared at Ember, then down at himself. He lifted one hand, then set it back down on the grass, touching the blades of plant with his fingers. Finally, he spoke in a soft voice and said, "It worked."

Ember wasn't sure what she expected him to say. Actually, she wasn't sure she expected him to speak at all, so hearing him say those two words startled her. "What worked?" she questioned.

He looked at her as if he only just noticed she was there, but he ignored her question. Instead, he tried to lift himself into a sitting position. In the corner of Ember's vision, she saw Johnny take several steps back as Daniel moved.

It took him multiple attempts to sit up. Each time he pushed himself on his arms, they buckled under his weight, and he fell back. Finally, Ember felt too sorry for him and offered him a hand. Daniel's eyes slightly widened when he touched her skin, and he flexed his fingers in the air after she let go.

Kitty, who was apparently braver than her boyfriend, stepped toward the boy and asked, "Who are you?" After a moment's hesitation, she added, "Is your name Daniel Fenton?"

He looked up at her in surprise, then noticed the empty grave behind her with his name on it. "Oh. Yeah," he said. "It's Danny."

"Danny," Ember said, testing the name on her tongue. "What were you doing inside a grave?"

Again, he didn't answer her. Instead, he asked, "Where am I?"

"Uh. Amity Park's cemetary."

"That's in the human world, right?"

The question caught her by surprise. "The...human world?"

"I knew it!" Johnny exclaimed. "This guy isn't human. Come on, Kitty, we're leaving."

Kitty looked like she was about to argue, but just then, the sound of tires on gravel was heard, and all teens turned toward the cemetary's entrance. In the night's darkness, they couldn't see the car or the person who came out very well, but they could see the beam of flashlight he held that roved across the yard.

Kitty cursed and muttered, "It's Walker." Then she joined her boyfriend in running away.

"Walker?" Danny asked. "What's a Walker? Is it bad?"

"Walker is a cop," Ember explained, "and yes, he's bad."

Ember turned to scram as well, but then she heard scuffling in the dirt and turned back to see Danny still struggling to pick himself up. He was new to all the tendons and ligaments in his limbs and the body mass he had to carry. Ember glanced at the cemetary gates, where the flashlight was bobbing closer, then back at Danny doing a good impression of the worm. Finally, she sighed, hooked an arm under his armpits and picked him up. He felt light and fragile in her grip.

"Come on, ghost boy," she said and dragged him with her to the back edge of the graveyard.

They reached the wall just in time to see Kitty disappear over the edge. Ember paused at the foot and looked up. She could probably climb over fine, but how was she supposed to carry Danny over?

Fortunately for her, she felt Danny's weight lighten at that moment and turned her head sideway to see he had finally learned to stand up on his own. He stood facing the wall, his arm still around Ember's shoulders. Ember thought she imagined a sudden chill spread from his hand through her body. A tingling sensation enveloped her. Then, with surprising strength for someone who couldn't push himself off the ground, Danny pushed them both toward the wall.

Ember yelped and closed her eyes, sure she was going to hit her face any second now. She went forward, but the impact didn't come. Cautiously, she opened her eyes again, then had to blink them several times to make sure she wasn't imagining things. Both she and Danny were on the other side of the wall.

"What--" She looked at their surroundings, which was very much not the cemetary, then craned her head around to look behind them, where the wall was still very much there. Her eyes landed on Danny, and her heart skipped a beat as she saw, for a second, his eyes glow a faint green before dimming back to blue.

"You--How?" After stammering for a while, she said, "What are you?"

Danny met her eyes with a puzzled expression. "I thought you knew. You said it yourself." Before Ember could ask him what he meant, he gestured to himself and said, "Ghost boy."

It took all of Ember's willpower not to faint then and there.

Danny glanced behind, then back at Ember. "Walker bad?" he said.

"Uh..." She shook herself back into alertness and said, "Yeah. Walker bad."

They kept fleeing.

There were two problems. One was that Ember's house was pretty far from the cemetary. The long walk between here and there had never bothered her, but that was before she had a ghost-turned-zombie shuffling by her side with Walker possibly on their tail. At the rate they were going, a snail could probably catch them easily.

Ember heard a pained moan come from Danny. That was the other problem. Despite how healthy he had seemed back in the graveyard, now his breath was ragged and his head was slicked with sweat. Ember looked down at him and saw his face turn green.

"You okay?"

Danny nodded, but he didn't look very okay. "Fine. I just need..." He trailed off before he could finish the sentence and gagged. Ember realized what was coming and quickly jumped away from him, and not a moment too soon. Danny bent over and vomited.

"What in the--?" Ember was really hoping she was done seeing the strangest that this day had to offer, but when she looked at the pavement, Danny's emptied stomach content was a glowing, lime green goo.

Danny's face stopped being the shade of guacamole, but it went back to being pale. His eyes were faint green under his half-closed eyelids. "Ah," he said. "My soul is still adjusting." Then he began to sway.

Ember caught him before his body could hit the floor. Her boot accidentally stepped into the puddle of vomit-goo, which disgusted her to no end, but now was not the time to worry about that. Even though Danny was light, she didn't think she could carry him all the way to her home. She glanced around at their surroundings, and relief flooded through her when she recognized the neighborhood. One of her classmates lived here. One who was fortunately too nice to turn down helping someone.

Ember dragged Danny to one of the houses, which was identical to every other in the neighborhood except for the adress. She rang the doorbell and waited. A minute later, the door opened, revealing a scrawny male teenager with huge glasses, buck teeth, and an upturned nose. "Ember?" he said, then noticed the unconscious boy in her arms. "Wh--"

Ember jammed herself through the opening and forced herself into his house, closing the door behind her. "Hey, Poindexter," she greeted. "Think I need to crash here for a while."

Sidney Poindexter glared at her, but he didn't refuse. "What did you do this time?" he said, then his gaze landed on Danny, and his eyes widened. "Wait--you didn't mug him, did you?"

"Nah, he was already dead."

"He's dead?!"

"Sort of. It's a long story."

"Hold up!" Sidney waved his arms wildly and declared, "I might do your homework for you, but that doesn't mean i'll help you cover up a murder!"

"I didn't murder him! Like I said, he's only sort of dead."

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

Ember set Danny on a couch. A trickle of green ran from his mouth, probably still there from his stomach purge. "Honestly, I'm not sure."

"You're not making any sense. Who is he?"

Ember looked at Sidney, who was waiting for an explanation with his arms crossed, as if that would intimidate her. She sighed and plopped herself onto the couch next to the unconscious sort-of-dead person. "Danny. Daniel Fenton. It was written on his grave."

"...His what?"

"Yep," Ember said, popping the 'P.' "He climbed out of a grave."

Sidney was speechless for a moment. "...He what."

Sidney came over to the couch and looked down at the body, noticing for the first time the soil that sprinkled his form. He raised his eyebrows at Ember. "This is a prank, right? It's not very funny."

"It's not a prank," Ember assured.

"So, what, you expect me to believe that this person came out a grave alive--or half-alive--and you brought him to my house?"

Hearing Sidney say it like that, it did sound awfully stupid. Ember sunk into the couch and sheepishly said, "Yeah...I'm not sure why I did that."

"This isn't funny," he repeated. "Who is he really?"

"I already told you. Danny Fenton."

"That can't be him, because the Fentons are dead!"

Ember looked up at Sidney. "You knew the Fentons?"

Sidney hesitated and shifted on his feet. "My grandma did. She said they were the city's whackos. They were obsessed with ghosts, even tried to build a portal in their basement, but I guess they failed because their house blew up and they died. A couple and two kids."

Ember let that information sink in. A portal into the ghost world. Now Danny had come from there to the human world. She remembered his first words in the graveyard: It worked. Could his parents, as ghosts, have completed their portal in the afterlife and somehow sent their son here?

"Okay, this is gonna sound crazy, but..." She told him her theory.

"That's prepostorous," Sidney said once she was done.

"I don't know, man. This whole day has been preposterous."

"You're telling me--" he pointed at Danny--"that this guy is a ghost. But he doesn't look like a ghost."

"That's because he got resurrected...or something. I'm not sure."

Sidney looked like he was about to make another argument, but whatever words he was about to say were cut off by a gasp.

Ember felt the couch beneath her shift as Danny's weight lifted itself off. By that, I mean it really did lift--the boy had righted himself into a standing position suspended in the air, a foot off the sofa. When he opened his eyes, they were bright green again.

At this point, Ember had come to expect the unexpected from Danny, so she was fairly calm about him hovering in mid-air. However, Sidney was staring at him wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Danny knitted his brows, as if he was confused by Sidney's shock. He looked down at himself, then understanding dawned on him and he looked back up and said, "Oh, right. Humans can't fly, right?"

Sidney opened his mouth and closed it several times wordlessly before he finally stammered out, "G-g-ghost."

Danny settled himself neatly down onto the couch, and his eyes returned to blue. He frowned. "Well, I'm supposed to be a human now, but apparently I'm still part ghost. Maybe I'm somewhere in between. Half a human, half a ghost."

"Great," Sidney said with a gulp. "You're a halfa."

Ember raised an eyebrow. "Halfa? Really? You couldn't have come up with a more creative word for hybrid?"

Sidney ignored her, instead turning his attention to the so-called halfa. "What do you want from us?" he demanded with narrowed eyes. "Are you going to kill us to expand your undead kingdom in the ghost world? Will you take over the living realm as your own?" He hugged himself protectively and questioned, "You're not going to steal our bodies, will you?"

Danny seemed amused by Sidney's suggestions. "No. I'm not the ghost king. I'm not doing any of that."

"Then what do you plan to do?"

Danny turned his gaze down like he was mulling it over. "I just want to live," he finally said.

For a long moment, there was silence except for the soft ticking of the grandfather clock from the hall.

Sidney hesitantly broke the silence by asking, "You're really Daniel Fenton?"

Danny shifted in his seat, but he nodded. "Just Danny is fine."

Sidney collapsed onto an armchair in the living room and rested his head in his hands. "Right. This is normal. Totally normal."

Ember studied Danny. He looked better now--his breath was even, and he wasn't vomiting any slime--though his skin was still a shade paler than what is generally considered healthy. Maybe that was normal for a halfa. She thought back on the night, which felt like a week long. All she had expected to do that night was play some guitar...

"Fuck," Ember said a little louder than necessary. The two boys turned their attention to her. Ember despaired and said, "I forgot my guitar at the cemetary."

Sidney raised his eyebrows at her. "You met a dead person, and that's what you worry about? You can go get it back in the morning."

"You don't understand. Walker's gonna see a dug-up grave and my guitar and think I robbed a grave."

"Well, I mean..." He jabbed a thumb at Danny and said, "You did take something with you."

Ember didn't find that very funny, but Danny laughed. A soft and cheerful laugh. She saw the boy smiling and felt just a little bit less angry.

"Oh, that reminds me," Danny said, and he turned in his seat to face Sidney. "You don't happen to have a way to contact the ghost zone, do you?"

#Phic Phight #phic phight 20 #phic phight 2020 #Danny Phantom #danny fenton #ember mclain #johnny 13 #kitty #sidney poindexter #rated T+#fic #fanfiction #writing #mine

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years

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The Problem with the Avengers

I’ve been reading a lot of Avengers comics recently scattered throughout their history and whilst they often have enough superhero action to kill some time, rarely have I ever found myself that engaged by the stories. In truth I’ve felt that way about virtually every Avengers story I’ve ever read.

In contrast whenever my reading lists took me to a random X-Men or Fantastic Four comic book I found they made for simply better reading.

This got me thinking about how traditionally and even now with the enhanced status the Avengers have in the comic series still seems to generate less enthusiasm than a lot of it’s competition with the really major superhero teams out there.

I think the fundamental problem is that, unlike those other teams, the Avengers is sorely lacking in identity.

I define the major Marvel/DC superhero teams as the ones that have been around near consistently for at least 30ish years and have have bled into multiple forms of other mass media.

So we’re talking the Fantastic 4, the Justice League (regardless of whether it’s called the Super Friends, the JLA, etc), the X-Men (and it’s associated spin-offs, e.g. X-Force, X-Factor, New Mutants) and the Titans/Teen Titans and the Avengers.

Unlike the Avengers, each of those teams has one or more simple ideas and hooks that have, more often than not, defined them and given them a basic but concrete premise to fall back on that the audience can easily connect to.

The Justice League are the All-stars of the DC universe, the team with the truly iconic characters in it’s line up and/or the guys who are at least mainstays of the DC universe in some fashion and well known to comic book readers. They are also at times allegorical to Greco-Roman Gods, e.g. Superman = Zeus, Batman = Hades, Green Lantern = Apollo, etc.

The X-Men are allegories for persecuted minorities and those who face bigotry in some fashion, as well as at times being allegories for adolescence.

The Fantastic Four are a nuclear family of scientists and explorers.

The Teen Titans are the junior heroes, the next generation, a junior Justice League if you will and more often than not the sidekicks to the older iconic heroes.

The Titans are the above but all grown up, independent, a non-nuclear family and in essence the next generation on the cusp of becoming the what their mentors were.

Now the Avengers at face value also have an easily understood hook too. They’re Earth’s Mightiest Heroes right? They, like the Justice League, are the All-stars of the Marvel universe right? Sometimes they’re talked of as being loosely equivalents to the Knights of the Roundtable.

The problem is that in practice...this is mostly lip-service.

For sure IN-UNIVERSE most people look up to the Avengers or hold them in similar esteem that the DC citizens hold the Justice League.

But as far as the real life audience is concerned for most of the Avengers history they really weren’t the All-stars of the Marvel universe and that comparison to Arthurian legend is really more talked about outside the comics more than it ever was genuine text or subtext in the pages themselves.

Lets put the Avengers into historical context. When the team debuted in 1963, consisting of Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, Ant-Man and the Wasp, all of those characters were less than 2 years old.

And its a matter of historical record that they were neither the highest selling nor the most popular superhero books Marvel was putting out, Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four were.

Furthermore the Hulk’s solo title had earlier that year been cancelled and whilst the other Avengers were continuing to regularly appear every month it was in anthology titles where they were simply the main, but not solo, stars. Those titles weren’t even NAMED after those heroes. You had Tales of Suspense for Iron Man, Journey into Mystery for Thor and Tales to Astonish for Ant-Man and Wasp.

Were these guys REALLY Marvel’s mightiest heroes?*

No they really weren’t.

To be frank it seems more like Stan Lee et al were trying to make bank off of the innate appeal of crossing characters over and doing so by grouping together the less successful and less popular characters.

You could make a similar argument for the Justice League of course, except when they debuted most of their members had been around considerably longer and they had Wonder Woman as a mainstay with Superman and Batman at times dropping in too, their presence only increasing across the decades. Nowdays many fans feel its just not the Justice League without the Trinity of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman.

Back to the Avengers, these characters were the revered all-stars of Marvel in name only, with the Hulk even leaving shortly afterwards, replaced by the probably more famous Captain America...who also didn’t have his own book at the time. Cap actually didn’t regularly appear in any title until around a year after his Avengers debut when he began starring alongside Iron Man.

Cap might’ve been a long established hero but even he wasn’t high profile enough to get his OWN solo-series. In fact when he finally did what really happened was he became the solo star of Tales of Suspense (renamed to Captain America) and IRON MAN got his first true solo-series**

To make the matter clearer when the Avengers went through their first major shakeup (less than TWO YEARS after the series began) the cast consisted of Cap (who was still sharing with Iron Man at this point), Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.

The Avengers had now been reduced to one character who shared a title with another one and three former villains who’d NEVER had solo-stories before, who weren’t even appearing regularly anywhere outside of the Avengers title.

Creatively this wasn’t all that bad. After all one of the pitfalls of team books like Avengers or Justice League is that often the series is constrained by events happening in the characters’ solo books or the other way around. Like the, F4 Cap’s kooky quartet could grow and develop in the Avengers and the only place you could see that potential growth was IN the Avengers comic itself; Johnny and Ben’s bland and bad solo yarns in Strange Tales notwithstanding.

However Cap kooky quartet was yet more evidence of how the ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’ was a cool slogan for the team and nothing more. They were a million miles away from being the Marvel All-stars they were treated or promoted as.

They were just ANOTHER Marvel team, more or less a home for miscellaneous Marvel heroes who were:

a) Relatively Earthbound

b) Not overly weird like Dr Strange

c) Flashier than dude’s without costumes like Nick Fury

d) Not already on teams

e) Not independently popular/interesting like Spider-Man

After all there is a reason so much of Iron Man and Cap’s histories are wrapped up with the Avengers titles and why most adaptations of the characters work in wider Marvel Universe elements. Its because those characters supporting casts and rogue galleries were not strong enough on their own to support their solo titles most of the time, so they essentially became Avengers satellite books.

This miscellaneous aspect to the Avengers though gave rise to another interpretation of the team, that in fact part and parcel of the point of them was that ANY Marvel hero could join their ranks. In essence that the Avengers could be a grand crossroads of the Marvel universe where any and all characters could pop up.

Its a nice sentiment but holds little water when you consider how the Avengers in-universe were typically treated as the premiere superhero team and how in practice many characters remained consistently out of their ranks. Even if we do swallow this line of thinking that simply means that the Avengers in being a team where anyone can join simply has no identity at all.

The X-Men during Claremont’s iconic run had a similar sort of idea of constantly changing up the roster except that book had the fundamental mutant metaphor to hold the shifting characters together no matter what.

When your team identity is that the identity can be anything your team hasn’t GOT an identity.

And this problem with the Avengers (a lack of identity wrapped around a false claim of being the Marvel All-star line up) went on and on and on for DECADES!

It got to the point where the X-Men, who in the Silver age FAILED compared to the Avengers, made good on their second chance and gradually grew in popularity until they clearly eclipsed every other Marvel team and by the 1990s eclipsed every other superhero team and book on the stands, exempting at times Spider-Man or Batman. In that decade anything with an X would sell whilst anything with an Avengers A was B-grade at best.

Whilst the Avengers claimed to be Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Marvels A-list heroes, Spider-Man and the X-Men actually WERE.

In 2004 when Bendis created the New Avengers with the explicit intention of re-orientating the team to finally truly be the Marvel A-list squad it had always claimed to be it had 2 big problems.

The first was that after 40 years and 500 issues the perception of the Avengers within the comic book community had become pretty entrenched. The second was that Bendis only slightly made good on this promise of reinvention.

By which I mean he added Spider-Man and Wolverine (basically the Superman and Batman of Marvel as far as their popularity went) to the Avengers as mainstays and then kept Iron Man, Cap and added in B-listers Luke Cage and Jessica Drew and not even a B-lister the Sentry.

To be clear I am not trying to insult Luke or Jessica but most people in 2004 didn’t know who they were and most who did didn’t care about him. they were added to raise their profile which is the exact opposite of what the book was claiming to do.

Even now with both characters holding more prestige than they did back then, if you were making a truly All-star Marvel superhero team Luke Cage and Jessica Drew probably wouldn’t be on the squad considering neither has a movie.

Whilst it’s true Bendis made New Avengers an unqualified success if you or I wrote a comic book with the two biggest Marvel characters in it hot on the heels of beloved and acclaimed movie appearances for both (which were sequels no less) of course it will sell like hot cakes.

But that sales success has absolutely not lasted.

Because again, the Avengers have no true identity as a superhero team, not even with the raised profile of the more traditional Avengers members afforded by their film appearances. At this point the failure of Iron Man’s popularity in wider pop culture to translate into much of an increase in comic sales is a bad joke. The fact is the comic book reading community still regards Iron Man as of lesser status than someone like Batman or Spider-Man or Wolverine and similarly the Avengers status as a team is still being hurt by the decades during which they were all sizzle and little steak.

Ironically this effect has been mitigated in adaptations. In cartoons (like Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes) a fresh modern take on the Marvel universe was presented wherein the Avengers characters were among the first and seemingly only heroes to inhabit that world (as far as the audience initially believed) essentially rendering them Earth’s Mightiest Heroes by default and free of the F4 or Spider-Man as a measuring stick could truly come off as All-stars. It also helped that the team membership was more consistent and a greater focus was placed upon their interpersonal relationships with one another, rendering them either a family or a kind of private little community of superheroes. Plus the show was as much an adaptation of the wider Marvel universe as it was Avengers stories, meaning often they could give focus episodes over to individual members to flesh them out.

To n extent the same thing happened in the MCU although because the MUC established solo movies for most of the Avengers first it in essence raised the prestige of each character thus justifying their claim to the film Avengers being all-star players. Plus there was a certain glamour and energy afforded the first film from being a never before done experiment in crossing over so many properties, this then fuelling consequent movies like Infinity War.

What’s ironic about all this is that the false interpretation of the Avengers being the Knights of the Roundtable is actually a way more fertile concept to build the Avengers team identity around and a more compelling hook to sell to the wider audience.

You could retain the idea that, in-universe, they are the Marvel All-star line up, but in the true substance of the series loosely build the stories and characters more around moderinzed takes upon Arthurian legend and ideals of heroism. Much as the Justice League have at times served as loose allegories for the Greco-Roman Pantheon.

If you look at the original team of Avengers, plus Captain America and Hawkeye, they already fit into loose concepts of Medieval era knights anyway.

Cap is a soldier, in other words a modern day knight, who is the absolute ideal warrior (Lancelot) complete with a form of chainmail armour and a weapon distinctly from Ye Olden Days.

Iron Man has frequently been referred to as a modern day knight in shining armour because he literally wears armour.

Thor is a Viking whom, I’m not sure were exactly around during when Arthurian legend is supposed to happen but like...close enough.

Hulk is perhaps equivalent to a troll, a creature from Medieval fairy tales.

Hawkeye is of course an archer and a clear Robin Hood allegory (Robin Hood is also Medieval).

And you could say Ant-Man and Wasp are akin to pixies. And even if you think not Hank when Giant Man is obviously a fairy tale giant.

I’m not saying every character needs to be as exact as those, but it’s just something for the team to concretely hang their hat on rather than continuing to insist they are the best Marvel characters all in one team when they usually don’t even have Marvel’s most popular character with them!

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pcwpolwrestling · 5 years

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Feeling the 'Bern'/Sanders In/Extreme Election Night 2016 Review: PCW Newsline

2/21/2019 PCW NEWSLINE-Review of last week’s Extreme Political TV-Bernie Sanders joins the 2020 Sweepstakes -PCW Rankings-Preview of this week’s show. -PCW Extra- Matches from 2016 Extreme Election Night including a replay of the Bernie Sanders-Hillary Clinton match.

CURRENT CHAMPIONS OF THE POLITICAL UNIVERSE:Universal PCW Champion: ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay (Independent/Les Miserables)Universal PCW Tag Team Champions: Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots)Universal PCW Women’s Champion: ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (Independent)PWF Red Brand Champion: Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk HerbstreitPWF Blue Brand Champion: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels

PWF Red Brand Tag Team Champions: Banks and WalstreitPWF Blue Brand Tag Team Champions: Union Jack Taylor and the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior

===

LAST WEEK ON EXTREME POLITICAL TV:‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder gets offended at ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave’s ‘Fake News’ t-shirt.

PCW Owner Dawn McGill talks about her experience being ‘detained’ by the Coke Brothers/George Moros/The Establishment.

The Champion of the Political Universe (which sounds really impressive if you think about it) ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay stops by to watch Truckin’ Average Company (Ken Worth-American Trucker/Average Joe/Brad Company) defeat Georgia-Florida State Line and Mr. Wrestling XXXIV.

Russian Collusion comes up. Fox News’s Tucker Carlson tells Colleen that THERE…WAS…NO…RUSSIAN…COLLUSION after she complains about Russian referee Corrina Romanov coming back to officiate a match (Romanov was the referee of the Trump-Clinton match at Extreme Election Night 2016).

Jill Berg Enterprises continues to woo Charlie Blackwell of the Sports Entertainment Corporation.

The Shutdown was averted thanks to a deal brokered by Executive Committee President Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance) and American Patriot Leader Mitch McConnell (KY-American Patriots.

But then CEO of the Political Universe Donald Trump (NY-American Patriots) declares a Security Emergency and gets into it with CNN’s Jim Acosta again.

‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor vs. ‘The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’ Ultratron-Five makes his PCW debut and defeats ‘New Age Sensitive Guy’ Blaine Thomas-Taylor.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann visits McGill and warns her she can’t defeat the Establishment.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez celebrates preventing Amazon from building a new headquarters in New York City. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott comes out and he’s not impressed.

Main Event: Scott defeats SNAFU.

BERNIE SANDERS JOINS THE PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE CEO RACEBernie Sanders (VT-Progressive Alliance) announced this week that he is joining the increasingly crowded 2020 race.

Sanders competed in 2016 and lost to with eventual Progressive Alliance standard bearer Hillary Clinton in a hard fought contest in 2016 Hillary Clinton. Clinton went on to lose at PCW Extreme Election Night 2016 to Donald Trump.

Sanders joins a field including Cory Booker (NJ), Kamala Harris (CA), Julian Castro (TX), Tulsi Gabbard (HI), John Delaney (MD), Richard Ojeda (WV), former tech executive Andrew Yang (NY), Elizabeth Warren (MA), and Amy Klobuchar (MN).

Others who may join the race: Kirsten Gillibrand (NY), Pete Buttigieg (IN), Former PCW COO Joe Biden, billionaire Michael Bloomberg (NY), and Sherrod Brown (OH).

RED BRAND SHOWAs both shows get back into gear following the month plus long shutdown, here’s how the Red Brand shows breaks down at the moment.

The Red Brand Champion remains ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit representing Jill Berg Enterprises. JBE also boasts P.M.C. Banks, Big Oil, and 4 time PCW champion Yamamoto Tanaka in their ranks plus Berg herself is a former PCW champion.

Jill Berg Enterprises also has the Red Brand Tag Team champions in Banks and Walstreit- who also hold the Champions of the Political Universe Tag Team belt as well.

The Sports Entertainment Corporation still has Charlie Blackwell in their ranks for now.

A new group is forming called Main Street USA. Farmer John and John Deere are their feature wrestlers and Sarah Mae Smith is the headliner on the women’s side.

The American Military Complex faction has formed featuring the newly signed Weapons of Mass Destruction: A. Tom Bomb, Hy Drogen Bomb, Newt Tron Bomb, and kid sister Daisy Cutter-Bomb.

Lastly, the religious right is also represented by The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Rev. Buddy Flambe with Sister Mary Marlboro.

BLUE BRAND SHOWLooking at the Blue Brand show, Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels is the featured wrestler as the Blue Brand champion. Daniels represents the very strong and influential Hollywood contingent in the Progressive Alliance.

Big Labor has James the Auto Worker and Union Jack Taylor- the Blue Brand’s Tag Team Champions.

A Tech/Silicon Valley group has just formed with Myles Microshoft being their feature wrestler.

Extreme Attorneys Felcher and Felcher aka ‘Seriously Bad Lawyers with Seriously Bad Combovers’

The hard left has the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior and Professor McCarthy’s Flock.

Paddy O’Kennedy and Mark Ditka make up the moderate faction in the Progressive Alliance. Kathryn Randall Collins is a longtime stalwart of the women’s division.

PCW RANKINGS

PCW Title Champion: The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism #1 Contender: Jack Fraiser #2 Contender: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott #3 Contender: SNAFU #4 Contender: Average Joe

PCW Tag Team Title Champion: Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis #1 Contender: The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson #2 Contender: The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja: Hank and Tiny #3 Contender: Truckin’ Average Company: Ken Worth-American Trucker and Brad Company #4 Contender: Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

THIS WEEK ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV-More on Bernie Sanders jumping into the 2020 race. -The Washington Post gets sued.-PCW Champion ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism attacks Blue Brand Champion Kevin Daniels at a Blue Brand show. -The PCW Tag Team champions Island of Misfit Wrestlers are in action.-The Champion of the Political Universe ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay is also on the card.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2016 Back at the broadcast table with Johnny Suave sitting on the left, Colleen Crowder on the right.

Johnny Suave: Well, if it gets Barbra Streisand to leave the country, there’s as a good reason as any to root for Donald Trump.

Colleen turns to him with a surprised look of disgust.

Colleen Crowder: How dare you say that? Barbra Streisand is a national treasure.

Johnny Suave: So is the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada.

Colleen’s jaw drops.

Johnny Suave: Let’s see how Trump arrived here tonight.

She turns to Johnny.

Colleen Crowder: I can’t believe you compared Barbra Streisand to a rabbit farm.

(FILM CLIP-AMERICAN PATRIOTS GAUNTLET MATCH: Donald Trump vs. Jeb Bush, John Kasich, and Ted Cruz-Taped July 21st in Cleveland, Ohio) Johnny Suave (voiceover): Donald Trump had to run the gauntlet to earn his shot to become the next PCW PEO. First, he had to face Jeb Bush and the Bush Family (former PCW CEO’s George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush).

Trump arrives in the ring wearing an authentic Viking costume complete with a huge wooden club that he brings to the ring with him.

Referee Reince Priebus gives Trump and Jeb Bush their final instructions.

The bell rings. Trump pretends he putting the club down but then spins around and clocks Bush with club cutting him wide open in the face. The Bushes at ringside are horrified. Priebus’s jaw drops. Bush drops like a rock and Trump slides in and hooks the legs.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Suffice to say, both George W. and George H.W. Bush were furious with Trump after he literally bludgeoned Jeb Bush…

George W. angrily wheels his father George H.W., in a wheelchair, away from the ring.

Johnny Suave (v/o): …with a club. The Bushes are so mad that they are not supporting Trump tonight against Hillary Clinton. Next up in the gauntlet…John Kasich.

Kasich tries. He tries real hard. Kasich gets in a few shots but in the end, Trump takes him out with a Skyscraper Slam and dispatches the Ohioan to move on.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Then…Ted Cruz.

Cruz puts up a battle. Trump has all the cards in the end. One Skyscraper Slam later and Trump takes the win.

=================================

DONALD TRUMP PROMOInside a ritzy china store in downtown New York City, Donald Trump looks at and examines a pricey piece of china. His manager Kellyanne Conway stands in the background with the storekeeper and watches.

Donald Trump: Four years ago, PCW all but went out of business. When PCW CEO Barack Obama became the CEO, I thought he’d do well. I thought he’d be a great cheerleader for PCW.

Trump shakes his head.

Donald Trump: But I was wrong.

Trump whips around and in the process catches one the plates on the shelf and sends it flying to the ground. The expensive plate smashes into pieces.

The storekeeper gasps. Conway doesn’t flinch.

Donald Trump: That’s not what happened. Under the policies of CEO Obama, PCW went dark in 2012 and we had people who weren’t working. Now, with the restart of PCW, we need someone who can rebuild the PCW brand and make it great once again. My opponent’s catchphrase is ‘I’m with her.’ No folks. I will work for you. I will wrestle for you.

The camera follows Trump as he goes around the corner, his coat brushing up against the china on the shelf and causing them to smash on the floor.

Horrified Storekeeper: Um, Mr. Trump?

Donald Trump: We need someone who will lift PCW back up.

Trump bumps into another set of dishes and sends them spinning to the floor.

Donald Trump: With Donald Trump running PCW, we will do it. PCW has tremendous potential but it’s been held back by an establishment who doesn’t care about you- the PCW fans.

He grazes another shelf of dishes and they fall to the ground.

Horrified Storekeeper (more urgent): Mr. Trump!

Conway just shrugs and follows Trump through the store.

Donald Trump: We can take PCW back from the corrupt ruling class and we can make it work for you – the fans.

Trump bumps into another shelf sending the whole structure crashing to the ground.

Horrified Storekeeper: MR. TRUMP!

Donald Trump: PCW Extreme Election Night 2016. Trump vs. Hillary. Who will prevail. The status quo?

Trump points at the camera…and accidently catches another plate.

*SMASH*

Donald Trump: Or YOU!

*SMASH*

The storekeeper confronts Trump.

Horrified Storekeeper: MR. TRU-

Trump motions to Conway. Conway reaches into her purse and hands the intensely anxious storekeeper a check. The storekeeper takes one look at the figure written on the check and immediately exhales and de-tenses down.

Now not-so-horrified Storekeeper: …oh, that’s better.

=================================

Johnny Suave: Well, speaking of Hillary Clinton, let’s take a quick look back on how she reached tonight’s PCW CEO showdown against Donald Trump…

(FILM CLIP-PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE MATCH: Hillary Clinton vs. Bernie Sanders-Taped July 28th in Philadelphia, PA) Johnny Suave (voiceover): All lethal weapons were banned from the match and replaced with cardboard in an attempt to tone down the violence. The leader of the Progressive Alliance, Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, presided over the match as the referee. With questions about her impartiality in the air, would Wasserman-Shultz call things right down the middle?

Bernie Sanders grabs an empty cardboard toilet roll and smacks it over Hillary’s head. Wasserman-Shultz admonishes Sanders.

Hillary clubs Sanders with her own empty cardboard toilet roll. *CLANK* Sanders staggers backwards into the corner. The cardboard toilet roll slides off and reveals a small lead pipe. Sanders’s manager Jeff Weaver screams at Wasserman-Shultz. Wasserman-Shultz shakes her head and tells him she didn’t see anything wrong.

Johnny Suave (v/o): Even Bill Clinton got into the act.

Weaver again engages referee Wasserman-Shultz over an infraction. Bill Clinton sneaks over and spins Sanders around- then he jabs him in the eye. Then Hillary walks over with what’s purported to be a paper plate but what is actually a steel plate sandwiched by two paper plates. *CLANK*

Johnny Suave (v/o): But then Sanders turned the tide and took the fight to the Clintons.

Sanders hits a single leg takedown on Hillary. Bill then tries to sneak up on him from behind. Sanders low bridges him and then whips him into the corner turnbuckle. Halfway there, Bill ‘stumbles’ and falls face forward into the turnbuckle and flips up and over. Clinton tries to snag the top rope, misses, and tumbles down to the floor. Bill then gets back on his feet…takes two steps…stops…and then flops face first to the floor.

Johnny Suave (v/o): But in the end, Hillary would prevail.

Sanders has Hillary down and hooks the leg. Wasserman-Shultz takes her sweet time going over to make the pinfall. Finally, Sanders jumps back up and gets in her face. While he argues with Wasserman-Shultz, Hillary slides over, grabs Sanders from behind, and rolls him back into a pinning situation. Wasserman-Shultz immediately slams her hand on the mat with a machine gun “onetwothree” and that’s the match.

=================================

HILLARY CLINTON PROMODeep down in the bowels of Washington D.C. Extremely dark setting. Hillary Clinton, accompanied by her husband Bill, Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, and her manager Robby Mook, steps forward into the light.

Hillary Clinton: Donald Trump. You might be a big shot in the business world. You may be a legend in the corporate boardroom. But Donald, you have no idea what you’ve just walked into. You see, this is my arena. And you have no idea what lengths I’ll go to get what I want and deserve. PCW CEO.

Bill folds his arms in front of him.

Hillary Clinton: There are many people all across the PCW universe who believe, like I do, that Donald Trump simply cannot get the job done…that Donald Trump is fundamentally unqualified to be the CEO of PCW. As PCW starts up again, we need new ideas and someone who is temperamentally prepared to do the job. That person is me. At three AM in the morning, when the phone rings and there’s a crisis that needs to be handled, you want me to take that call- not Donald Trump. Donald Trump’s ideas are dangerously incoherent, he is horribly unprepared for a position that requires knowledge, stability, and responsibility. Putting Trump in charge would be rolling the dice with PCW’s future.

Bill Clinton: Trump running PCW would be the craziest thing in the world ever- even crazier than Obamacare- *SMACK* – OWWW!

He rubs his shoulder where Hillary had just smacked him with her open hand.

Hillary Clinton: Don’t say that!

Bill Clinton: Sorry.

She turns her gaze back to the camera.

Hillary Clinton: To get PCW back up and running, it will take a real plan, with real experience, and real leadership. Donald Trump is unfit to be PCW CEO. It would be a historic mistake if he somehow won. At Extreme Election Night 2016, my experience, built up on years of working side-by-side with the Progressive Alliance, fighting for what we believe, will prevail over Donald Trump. If you don’t believe me, listen for yourself to the voices of my Hollywood friends.

youtube

Hillary turns and burns a steely glare towards her manager.

Robby Mook: I…I…I…

Mook awkwardly smiles.

Robby Mook (pointing at Hillary): I’m with her?

Hillary looks at him incredulously.

Hillary Clinton: GAH!

She throws up her hands and storms off.

Hillary Clinton (offscreen): WHEN I FIND OUT WHO SWITCHED THAT TAPE…

=================================

MATCH 6: The Battle for PCW CEO

Hillary Clinton (Progressive Alliance) vs. Donald Trump (American Patriots) Referee: Corrina Romanov

=================================

Back to Suave and Colleen at the broadcast desk with the crowd buzzing in anticipation for the PCW CEO showdown that’s just mere moments away.

Johnny Suave: Johnny Suave back with the low level reporter trying to make a name for herself at the New York Times Colleen Crowder…

Colleen Crowder: Do you have to say it like that?

Johnny Suave: …and we are just about ready for the big match to determine who will become the next PCW CEO.

Both Clinton and Trump supporters rise to their feet, holding up their pro-Clinton and pro-Trump signs and shouting dueling chants of ‘I’M WITH HER!’ and ‘TRUMP…TRUMP…TRUMP!’ back and forth at each other.

Johnny Suave (talking louder): Joining us now is Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver. Silver, of course, boldly predicted four years ago at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 that Triple R would win the PCW Title and Barack Obama would win a second four year run as PCW CEO.

The camera pans to the right and adds Silver to the picture.

Johnny Suave: Nate, thanks for joining us.

Nate Silver: My pleasure, Johnny.

Johnny Suave: Your insight on what you think will happen tonight.

Nate Silver: Well Johnny. As of right now, I believe Hillary Clinton has a 70% chance of winning this match. I think it’ll be close. But I think the distinct trend is towards Hillary right now.

Colleen Crowder: Nate, I think you’re being too cautious. The New York Times believes that Hillary Clinton’s chances of becoming the first ever woman to become PCW CEO is around 85%. There’s simply no way that Trump will win this match tonight.

Nate Silver: I wouldn’t go that far Colleen. Yes, I believe Hillary Clinton is the clear favorite here tonight. But, I still maintain that the match will be closer than most think it will. There’s still a path for a possible Trump victory. For starters, Clinton doesn’t have the solid advantage that Barack Obama had against Mitt Romney four years ago.

Colleen Crowder: Yeah but that’s not the narrative we’re running with. Hillary Clinton will win this match tonight because Trump is not qualified to be PCW CEO.

Johnny Suave: You know Colleen, narrative driven news is to journalism what World Wrestling Entertainment is to the sport of wrestling.

Once she comprehends what Suave has just said to her, Colleen glares at him and her eyes shoot daggers through Suave. She grits her teeth.

Colleen Crowder (slowly): Eighty…five…percent…

Johnny Suave: We’d better get to the ring. Kimber Marshall, take it away!

Kimber Marshall: Ladies and gentlemen. This next match will determine who will become the next CEO of Political Championship Wrestling!

“I’M WITH HER!…I’M WITH HER!”

“TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!”

Kimber Marshall: Introducing first…

The lights cut out and music starts…

*”Imperial March”- Star Wars

DUH.

DUH-DUH-DUHHHH

DUH-DUH-DUHHHHH.

Dressed in all black complete with a flowing black cape, Donald Trump and his manager Kellyanne Conway walk out on stage to a big ovation from the American Patriots. Some of the more official types of the American Patriots…ie…John McCain, Susan Collins, and Rick Perry, who sit down front close to ringside, don’t seem overly enthusiastic with their support.

Back on stage, the leader of the American Patriots Reince Priebus filters in behind along with PCW Executive Committee member Paul Ryan.

Johnny Suave: Trump looks particularly sinister tonight!

Colleen Crowder: It’s hideous Johnny. Simply hideous. We really need Hillary to win.

Conway leads the way as Trump, black robe ruffling behind him as he strides, makes his way down the steps from the stage and heads toward the ring.

Kimber Marshall: Residing in the Trump Tower in the great city of New York, New York! He promises to…

The Trump supporters shout out: “MAKE PCW GREAT AGAIN!”

Kimber Marshall: Managed tonight by Kellyanne Conway, accompanied by his Second in Command Mike Pence, and representing the American Patriots! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! DONALD J. TRUMP!

Again, the Trump Supporters let loose with thunderous roar that shakes the building. Trump nods and acknowledges the fans.

Johnny Suave: Donald Trump climbs into the ring. Can be make history of his own here tonight by becoming the next PCW CEO?

Colleen Crowder: NO! I mean, David Brooks from the New York Times is a conservative and even he doesn’t think Donald Trump should be PCW CEO.

Johnny Suave: David Brooks is conservative for the New York Times, yes.

The supporters “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” chant merges with the Imperial March and becomes:

“TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP”

Trump holds the ring ropes open for Kellyanne Conway to slip through. Pence, Priebus and Ryan join them.

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent.

Imperial March- off…

*”Formation”- Beyonce*

…Beyonce’s ‘Formation’- on.

The house lights cut out and then start flashing to the beat causing the Progressive Alliance fans to leap out of their seats.

Quick cut to the upper section where Amy Schumer and Chelsea Handler are dancing on their chairs, Miley Cyrus is on the table twerking, and Madonna…well, we don’t really want to know what she’s doing right now.

Kimber Marshall (loudly over the blaring music): Managed by Robby Mook and accompanied by her Second in Command Tim Kaine, Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, and her husband…FORMER PCW CEO William Jefferson Clinton!

Beyonce comes out on stage lip-synching to her song. She and Jay-Z lead the parade to the ring. Next out, Mook, Wasserman-Shultz, and Bill Clinton.

Kimber Marshall: From Chappaqua, New York. Representing the Progressive Alliance!

Next out, Bill and Hillary’s daughter Chelsea Clinton.

Kimber Marshall: And vying to make history by becoming the first ever woman to become CEO of PCW!

Finally, Hillary Clinton walks out wearing a white pants suit.

Kimber Marshall: PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR…HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON!

The A-List celebrities in the top section of Hack’s stand up and shout. On the floor, the Progressive Alliance section is simply rocking. Hillary Clinton signs bobbing up and down, moving left to right as Beyonce continues to lip synch her song and dance down the aisle.

Reaching the ring, Hillary climbs up the steps first and ducks into the ring, followed by her husband and daughter.

Johnny Suave: Oh wow! Listen to that ovation for Hillary Clinton. Both sides are geared up for what promises to be an incredible match.

Colleen Crowder: Again Johnny. According to the New York Times calculations, it’s going to be an early night, it’s going to be a quick match, because Donald Trump has no chance to defeat Hillary Clinton.

Johnny Suave: Nate?

Nate Silver: The odds are definitely in Ms. Clinton’s favor but I won’t go that far to say that he has no chance.

Johnny Suave: Thanks for your insight. Nate Silver, everyone. Let’s take it back to the ring and the referee in charge of this match- Corrina Romanov.

The name Romanov causes Colleen to cock her head quizzically to the side.

Romanov enters the ring wearing the appropriate white and black striped referee’s shirt and black pants. A former wrestler of her own right, she gets a healthy round of applause from the patrons of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

Colleen Crowder: Hold on…isn’t she like- Russian?

Romanov goes over to Trump and does the usual pre-match check.

Johnny Suave: She is. So what?

Then Romanov walks over to Clinton’s corner and does the same.

Colleen Crowder: Nothing. It’s just…strange…that PCW would assign a Russian referee for this match.

Johnny Suave: Nah, you’re overthinking this. Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen. We are just about ready to go.

Satisfied, Romanov turns to the bell table and calls for the bell.

Johnny Suave: And here we go!

“I’M WITH HER! I’M WITH HER!…”

Johnny Suave: LISTEN TO THE DUELLING CHANTS!

“TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!…”

Johnny Suave: THE NOISE IS JUST DEAFENING IN HERE!

Both Trump and Clinton cautiously walk forward from their respective corners and circle each other in the middle of the ring.

Then out of nowhere, Clinton drives a knee to the balls. Trump crumples over. And the Progressive Alliance section goes nuts.

Johnny Suave: CLINTON DRAWS FIRST BLOOD!

Clinton whips Trump into her corner where he’s greeted with a few forearm shots from her husband Bill. He lays in more big forearms on Trump. Hillary follows up with some knife-edge chops. Trump then whips Clinton across the ring into the opposite corner.

Johnny Suave: Trump sends Clinton for the ride…

Trump sets up for a backdrop but Clinton flips over him and then delivers a punt kick to the jewels.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Dropping to his knees, Trump’s face scrunches in pain. Clinton moves behind him. Basement dropkick to the back sends Trump down face first to the mat. She rolls him over for a cover.

One.

Tw-

Johnny Suave: Easy kick out for Donald Trump.

Debbie Wasserman-Shultz shouts at the referee and then slams her hand down on the mat in the same rapid-fire fashion she’d done when Hillary defeated Bernie Sanders in Philadelphia.

Colleen Crowder: That was a slow count.

Johnny Suave: Any count is slow compared to what Wasserman-Shultz did to Sanders.

Trump fights back to his feet and tries to stop the momentum. But Clinton scratches his eyes and then hits a knee to the gut. Russian Leg Sweep follows and Trump is right back on the ground. Clinton again makes the cover but Trump out of nowhere pushes her off and then rolls her up.

Johnny Suave: TRUMP REVERSES. COVER!

The American Patriots rise up in anticipation.

One

Two.

Johnny Suave: NO! HILLARY GRABBED THE BOTTOM ROPE!

Romanov calls for a break. While she tries to get Hillary to let go of the bottom rope, Bill Clinton sneaks in and pokes Trump in the eye. He recoils back and covers his eye.

Johnny Suave: She’s not letting go of the rope. WHAT?

What? Suave does a doubletake when Captain America…yes…Captain America runs down and slides into the ring.

Johnny Suave: What the hell is this?

Colleen Crowder: It’s Captain America.

Johnny Suave: I know it’s Captain America. Why is Captain America in the ring?

Trump staggers back. Captain America takes his shield and then blasts him in the back of the head with it.

Johnny Suave: Oh…that’s why.

Captain America stares at the downed Trump, who’s holding his head from the shield shot. He then pulls off his mask.

Colleen Crowder: Hey! That’s Chris Evans from the Avengers movie!

Johnny Suave: Where is the referee?

Referee Corrina Romanov is in deep conversation with ABC’s Martha Raddatz at the edge of the ring.

Johnny Suave: MARTHA RADDATZ IS AT RINGSIDE? WHAT IS SHE DOING?

Suave sees Evans pick up the shield.

Johnny Suave: What is he doing?

Evans places the Captain America shield in Trump’s groin area. Then Iron Man jumps into the ring carrying a bowling ball bag.

Johnny Suave: WHAT IS IRON MAN DOING HERE?

Iron Man (okay… it’s really Robert Downey, Jr. playing Iron Man) takes the bowling ball bag, lifts it in the air, and slams it into the shield.

*CLANK*

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Crowd: Oooooooooohhhhh!

Trump rolls back and forth in excruciating pain.

Johnny Suave: KELLYANNE CONWAY IS ON THE RING APRON SCREAMING AT CORRINA ROMANOV!

Finally, Conway gets Romanov’s attention and the referee refocuses her attention back to the match and sees Evans and Downey in the ring. She immediately chases both Hollywood stars from the ring. Which, of course, allows Hillary to indulge in a little blatant choking while the referee continues to be distracted.

Colleen Crowder: I’ve changed my mind. I now believe that Hillary Clinton has a 90% chance of winning. She’s totally dominating him.

Clinton uses the boots to deliver a shot to the gut and another. Trump finally trips Clinton up and sends her to the mat.

Johnny Suave: Big boot by Trump knocks Clinton off her feet. But there’s a lot of worried faces at ringside.

Quick cut to the American Patriots section. Reince Priebus brings a hand to his chin. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell both watch the action with extremely concerned expressions on their face.

Back to the ring where Clinton has gone over and talks with Robby Mook.

Johnny Suave: Bad idea. She can’t give Trump time to recover like that.

Trump pulls himself back up again. He goes right over to Hillary and they trade forearm strikes. Trump whips her into the corner and then catches Clinton on the rebound with a Bulldog.

Clinton tries to whip Trump to her corner but Trump blocks, lifts Hillary up, bringing her legs off the ground, and falls backward to the mat sending her back-first to the mat.

Johnny Suave: SIDEWALK SLAM BY TRUMP. HE COVERS.

One.

Two.

Johnny Suave: WHAT THE HELL IS CNN’S ANDERSON COOPER DOING IN THE RING?

Just as Corrina Romanov starts to lower her hand down for three, Anderson Cooper bolts into the ring out of the blue and pushes Trump off of Clinton.

Johnny Suave: COOPER MAKES THE SAVE!

Colleen Crowder: Maybe we should reduce the chances of Hillary winning back to 85%.

While Hillary scoots back to her corner, Trump gets into Romanov’s face and argues about the count. He doesn’t see Bill Clinton sneaking up from behind. Bill tries to whip Trump into Hillary’s corner. Trump reverses and goes for a big boot to the face. But Bill ducks, boots Trump in the gut, and then hits a spinning neckbreaker.

Johnny Suave: Bill Clinton fires up the crowd and now he’s going for scoop slam!

Clinton goes to lift Trump up but he doesn’t see trouble brewing behind him. Two women from his past.

Johnny Suave: THAT’S KATHLEEN WILLEY AND PAULA JONES! TWO WOMEN WITH HUGE ISSUES WITH BOTH BILL AND HILLARY CLINTON!

Colleen Crowder: What are they doing in the ring?

At once, the crowd noise jumps dramatically which causes Bill to wonder what’s going on. Finally, his innate curiosity wins out so he turns around and gets an unpleasant surprise. His eyes widen and the crowd goes wild.

Johnny Suave: Nowhere to run! Nowhere to hide!

Colleen Crowder: That’s not fair! They’re interfering in the match!

Johnny Suave: Here we go!

Willey and Jones take Bill by each arm and fling him into the corner turnbuckle. Bill ‘stumbles’ and falls forward head first into the turnbuckle. He flips up and over the turnbuckle, tries to snag the top rope, misses, and tumbles down to the floor.

Johnny Suave: RIC FLAIR FLIP!

On the floor, Bill then gets back on his feet…takes two steps…stops…and then flops face first back to the floor.

Johnny Suave: RIC FLAIR FLOP!

Back in the ring, Hillary comes off the ropes and leaps onto Trump’s back.

Johnny Suave: SLEEPER HOLD!

Colleen Crowder: YES! COME ON HILLARY!

Trump spins to try and dislodge Hillary from his back. Unfortunately, he loses his balance and ends up on the mat. Hillary wastes no time in making the cover.

One.

Two.

Johnny Suave: Trump kicks out. He’s trying to regain his bearings and…why is the referee talking to the Clinton corner again?

This time, Romanov is having a heated conversation with Hillary’s manager Robby Mook and MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow. While they’re distracting the referee, Chelsea Clinton slides a steel chain over to her mother who quickly wraps it around Trump’s neck.

Johnny Suave: AND NOW SHE’S GOT THAT STEEL CHAIN AROUND HIS NECK!

Colleen Crowder: Sleeper hold.

Trump’s face turns bright red as the chain is wrapped tightly and cutting off his oxygen.

Johnny Suave: BULL-*BLEEP*! THAT’S A BLATANT CHOKE! SHE’S TRYING TO CHOKE DONALD TRUMP OUT!

While Trump desperately tries to loosen the chain around his neck, yet another person races down the aisle towards the ring.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE? THAT’S FOX NEWS’S CHRIS WALLACE!

Wallace jumps up on the ring apron, grabs Romanov, and spins her around. He points at Hillary who’s still trying strangle Trump with a steel chain.

Colleen Crowder: What is he doing? Chris Wallace has no business butting his head into this match.

Johnny Suave: And CNN’s Anderson Cooper and ABC’s Martha Raddatz didn’t do the exact same thing?

Colleen Crowder: That’s different. Everyone knows Fox News is biased towards the American Patriots!

Romanov immediately acts. She pushes Clinton back, breaking the choke hold. Then Romanov literally rips the chain out of Hillary’s hands and tosses it out of the ring.

Colleen Crowder: The Russian referee is exerting too much influence on this match which means Vladimir Putin is trying to affect the results!

Johnny Suave: Um…Corrina Romanov just enforced the rules because, newsflash, even PCW has rules.

Colleen Crowder: But Vladimir Putin-

Johnny Suave: Is this another narrative or…

There’s a collective gasp inside Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen Crowder: What.

Colleen turns her attention back to the ring and immediately shoots up from her chair in full righteous indignation mode.

Colleen Crowder: THAT’S NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Johnny Suave: TESTICULAR CLAW! TRUMP IS USING THE TESTICULAR CLAW!

The reaction is instantaneous and the fun really begins. An enraged Colleen Crowder literally jumps up on the broadcast table and points at Trump.

Colleen Crowder: DISQUALIFY HIM! DISQUALIFY HIM!

The Clinton team are stunned. Without hesitation, they all charge the ring.

The Progressive Alliance are stunned. Disgusted. Repulsed. Suddenly, the likes of Chuck Schumer, Elizabeth Warren, and Nancy Pelosi charge the ring.

The media are stunned. Revolted. Aggrieved. Don Lemon of CNN, the Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson and Dana Milbank, and the New York Times’s David Brooks and Paul Krugman pile into the ring.

Colleen Crowder: HE SHOULD BE DISQUALIFIED!

Even some members of the American Patriots are stunned. Appalled. Queasy. John McCain, Lindsey Graham, former Jeb Bush, and Mitt Romney charge the ring and a huge scrum explodes.

Johnny Suave: IT’S HIT THE FAN NOW!

Trump finds himself swallowed up by a mass of humanity as members of each group literally throw each other out of the way to get to him.

Johnny Suave: This is just a mob scene!

Colleen Crowder: WHY HASN’T THE REFEREE DISQUALIFIED HIM?

Johnny Suave (sarcastically): Maybe Vladimir Putin told her not to.

Colleen Crowder: SEE! I TOLD YOU!

Johnny Suave: Trump is getting no help from the American Patriots either!

Cut to Paul Ryan. He’s whistling while he ever so subtly tries to inch away from the ring, hoping that no one can see him subtly trying to inch away from the ring. Mitch McConnell? He’s gone from ringside and nowhere to be found.

The rest of the establishment? Sitting in their seats reading the Wall Street Journal or on their phones making plans for their golf getaway.

Quick cut to the Les Miserables section. What had been a full section of people is now half empty.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!

‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Charlie Blackwell stream to the ring followed by forty other people sitting in their section.

Johnny Suave: It’s the LES MISERABLES!

Colleen Crowder: I’m confused Are they coming to help Clinton?

Bryan hops up on the ring apron. He drapes Dana Milbank’s neck over the top rope and drops to the floor causing the Washington Post columnist to whiplash off the ropes and onto his back.

Johnny Suave: BRYAN TOSSES MILBANK OUT!

Bert the Janitor tosses McAvay a Big Bertha Driver.

Johnny Suave: MCAVAY HAS THE BIG BERTHA!

*THWACK*

Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES CHUCK SCHUMER!

*THWACK^

Johnny Suave: DOWN GOES LINDSEY GRAHAM!

Mitt Romney sees McAvay using the driver to pole axe his way through the crowd. He wisely uses discretion and decides to slip out of the ring.

Johnny Suave: AND HERE COMES CHARLIE BLACKWELL!

Blackwell jumps into the ring wielding a steel folding chair. and starts taking people out left and right.

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: BLACKWELL NAILS PAUL KRUGMAN WITH THE CHAIR!

Blackwell turns and swings the chair again.

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: CNN’s DON LEMON GOES DOWN!

*CLANG*

Johnny Suave: HE GOT JEB BUSH TOO!

Colleen Crowder: WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

Johnny Suave: THEY’RE CLEANING HOUSE!

The rest of the Les Miserables climb through the ropes and suddenly there’s a lot of people in close quarters.

Colleen Crowder: DEPLORABLE!

The American Patriots, Progressive Alliance, and media contingent still in the ring decide to hastily exit stage right leaving just Trump, Hillary, McAvay, Blackwell, Bryan, and the forty-odd Les Miserables inside.

Colleen Crowder: THESE PEOPLE ARE DEPLORABLE! WHAT ARE ALL THESE DEPLORABLE PEOPLE DOING IN THE RING?

Johnny Suave: Actually, they’re Les Miserables.

Colleen Crowder: AND WHY HASN’T THE REFEREE DISQUALIFIED TRUMP FOR THIS BLATANT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE? THERE IS NO WAY THIS MATCH-

Blackwell and McAvay re-station themselves outside the ring and the Les Miserables surrounding the squared circle. The ring steadily clears and when it does, leaving just Trump and Hillary inside, there’s an unpleasant realization for one side.

Johnny Suave: FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!

Crowder pulls at her hair.

Colleen Crowder: NOOOOOOOOOO!

In the midst of the chaos caused when the Les Miserables invaded the ring, Trump took one of Hillary’s legs, turned it 90 degrees, grabbed her other leg and crossed it with the other. Then he put one foot in between, the other on the other leg, and bridged over to lock in the figure-four.

To make matters worse, Trump had her smack dab in the middle of the ring- a long, long way from help.

Johnny Suave: HOW ARE HER CHANCES LOOKING NOW?

Colleen remains defiant.

Colleen Crowder: Sixty-five percent, Johnny. I’m still quite confident Hillary will win if the Russian referee would actually DO HER JOB!

The Progressive Alliance contingent charge forward but the Les Miserables protecting the ring stop them in their tracks.

Colleen Crowder: Okay…maybe fifty-five percent- COME ON!

Clinton closes her eyes and sits up. She takes a couple swipes at Trump and then falls backwards.

Johnny Suave: Is Hillary going to tap out?

Colleen Crowder: NEVER!

Hillary reaches for the ropes but she’s too far away.

Johnny Suave: What do you say now?

Colleen Crowder: Fifty-fifty.

As the pain registers all over Clinton’s face, for the first time a realization comes over the folks sitting in the Progressive Alliance section that she could lose this.

Johnny Suave: Are you sure about that?

Colleen Crowder: (whispers incoherently)

Johnny Suave: Didn’t hear you.

Colleen Crowder: I SAID SIXTY PERCENT FOR TRUMP! JESUS, HE COULD WIN THIS THING!

The camera pans through the Progressive Alliance section of the bar. Jaws dropped. Shocked expressions. Hands on cheeks.

Johnny Suave: Do I hear seventy percent…seventy-five percent? Going once. Going twice. Going-

Colleen Crowder: SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT FOR TRUMP. (shouts to no one in particular) COME ON! ANYONE? DO SOMETHING?

Over the loudspeaker, the opening notes to…

Johnny Suave: Wait a minute! I know that song.

A man dressed in a flannel shirt, holding a mocha in one hand and a Singapore cane in the other, steps out of the shadows on the second level of the bar.

Johnny Suave: And I know that guy! HE’S BACK!

The crowd merrily sings along to the Fleetwood Mac song as the man dressed in flannel started towards the stage.

Colleen Crowder: Hold on. Is that who I think it is?

Johnny Suave: It is.

As the sing along continues, the man holds up his mocha, contained inside an environmentally friendly biodegradable cup of course, and chugs it down.

Johnny Suave: IT’S THE TREE HUGGIN’, MOCHA CHUGGIN,’ TOBACCO COMPANY BUGGIN,’ INSANE SINGAPORE CANE SWINGING ALPHA MALE AND EXTREME ENVIRONMENTAL HARDCORE ICON- AL GORE!

Colleen Crowder: YES!

Gore crushes the paper cup on his forehead in an alpha manly fashion. Gore then spews the mocha out of his mouth like a geyser going off and sprays several tables in close proximity.

Colleen Crowder: Look at the expression on the Trump Team’s faces!

The camera cuts over to Kellyanne Conway and Mike Pence. They’re not paying any attention.

Johnny Suave: Um…they’re not paying attention.

Colleen Crowder: Well…THEY SHOULD BE!

Gore moves up to the steps leading down and turns around to face the Progressive Alliance section. He pulls out another cup of mocha and holds it high in the air. Again, Gore chugs down the mocha, crushes the container against his forehead, and spits the mocha onto several tables.

Colleen Crowder: …if he ever gets to the ring.

Back in the ring, Referee Corrina Romanov maneuvers around, watching for any sign of a tap out. Mook, Kaine, Bill Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Wasserman-Shultz, blocked from the ring by the Les Miserables watch helplessly. Hillary falls back again and her strength wanes.

Johnny Suave: Trump is THIS close to winning!

Colleen Crowder: Son of a bitch. Ninety percent chance for Trump to win.

Colleen shouts up at Gore.

Colleen Crowder: HURRY UP!

Gore makes it downstairs. He stops and pulls out another cup of mocha.

Colleen Crowder: SON OF A BITCH! AL, WOULD YOU GET TO THE RING ALREADY?

Johnny Suave: HILLARY’S RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Again, Gore chugs down the mocha, crushes the container against his forehead…

Colleen Crowder (lamenting): He’s not going to get to the ring in time, is he?

Johnny Suave: Nope.

…and spits the mocha towards the ring just as Hillary slaps her hand on the mat.

Johnny Suave: SHE TAPPED OUT! THAT’S IT!

Colleen Crowder: NOOOOOOOO!

Romanov calls for the bell.

Johnny Suave: TRUMP WINS! TRUMP WINS!

Colleen Crowder: Oh…my…God.

Johnny Suave: The next CEO of PCW is Donald J. Trump!

The camera cuts to outside the ring. Now that Trump’s won and it’s ‘safe,’ Paul Ryan is slowly edging his way back towards the action.

Johnny Suave: And the conservative chickens have come home to roost!

Mitch McConnell races by Ryan, actually he knocks Ryan out of his way, cheering and pumping his fist in the air. However, others sitting with the rest of the American Patriot supporters aren’t so sure about what just took place.

The Les Miserables at ringside have no inhibition about celebrating. Blackwell, Bryan, and McAvay find themselves in the midst of a big time party.

Panning back to the Progressive Alliance section- soul-crushing sadness among Hillary’s supporters is the prevalent feeling.

The majority of the people on hand begin to sing: “Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye” and wave goodbye to the Hollywood celebs who said they would leave the country if Trump won.

Johnny Suave: After everything that’s happened over the past few months and with the entire Washington D.C. beltway establishment lined up against him- the Republican establishment, the Democrat establishment, the militantly left wing Democrats- who seem to have all gathered in California, and the mainstream media, when the chips were down Donald Trump came through on PCW’s biggest stage.

Colleen Crowder: I think I’m going to be sick.

Johnny Suave: Is that the narrative or an actual story?

Colleen Crowder: Shut up!

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spicynbachili1 · 6 years

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Mobster ‘Whitey’ Bulger killed in prison at 89 years old: reports | USA News

James “Whitey” Bulger, who lived a double life as certainly one of Boston’s most infamous mobsters and as a secret FBI informant earlier than occurring the run for 16 years, was discovered lifeless at a federal jail in West Virginia, the Federal Bureau of Prisons stated.

The FBI was trying into Bulger’s loss of life, the Bureau of Prisons stated in its assertion on Tuesday.

Bulger’s loss of life at age 89 got here a day after he was transferred to the high-security jail. Federal officers didn’t give a reason behind loss of life however the Bureau of Prisons stated no different inmates or workers had been injured.

CNN and the Boston Globe reported that Bulger was killed with out giving additional particulars.

Henry Brennan, a defence lawyer for Bulger, stated in an electronic mail he couldn’t affirm or deny the experiences.

Bulger was convicted in August 2013 of 11 murders, amongst different prices together with racketeering, and sentenced to 2 consecutive life phrases plus 5 years.

Jail had been one thing Bulger had gone to nice lengths to keep away from – killing potential witnesses, cultivating corrupt lawmen and residing as a fugitive for 16 years. All of it ended when a tip from a former Icelandic magnificence queen led to his seize in June 2011 in Santa Monica, California, the place he was residing with a long-time girlfriend.

Bulger and his Winter Hill gang had operated for greater than twenty years within the insular Irish-dominated South Boston neighbourhood, participating in mortgage sharking, playing, extortion, drug dealing and homicide.

They did so with the tacit approval of an FBI agent who regarded the opposite approach when it got here to Bulger’s crimes in order that he would provide info on different gangsters.

Bulger, portrayed by Johnny Depp within the 2015 movie “Black Mass,” was feared for his quick mood and brutality. Prosecutors stated he strangled two girls along with his fingers and tortured a person for hours earlier than capturing him within the head with a machine gun.

‘We made hundreds of thousands’

“We took what we needed,” Kevin Weeks, a former Bulger lieutenant who would finally testify towards him, wrote in “Brutal”, his memoir. “We made hundreds of thousands by means of extortion and loansharking and safety. And if somebody ratted us out, we killed him. We weren’t good guys.”

Bulger was born September three, 1929, and grew up in South Boston. He was known as “Whitey” due to his gentle blond hair however was stated to detest the nickname and most popular being known as Jimmy. As an adolescent he joined a gang generally known as The Shamrocks, compiled an arrest document for assault and armed theft and ended up in a juvenile reformatory.

Bulger was a financial institution robber early in his prison profession, which landed him in prisons such because the notorious Alcatraz, situated on an island in San Francisco Bay.

Upon his launch in 1965, he finally fell in with the Irish mob in South Boston and labored his approach by means of the ranks as a bookie and loanshark. He survived a gang battle between two Irish mobs and was a number one determine in Boston’s underworld by the early 1970s.

His profession was boosted by his relationship with rogue FBI agent John J Connolly, who Bulger had recognized since they had been boys. Connolly was alleged to be in control of getting info out of him and Bulger did present info that helped the FBI go after his fundamental rival, New England’s Italian Mafia, in addition to native criminals.

In return, Connolly let Bulger learn about working investigations whereas Bulger and shut affiliate Steve “The Rifleman” Flemmi carried on with impunity. After he retired from the FBI, Connolly tipped off Bulger a few coming indictment, sending the mobster on the run in 1995.

Connolly was convicted in 2008 of racketeering, taking bribes and second-degree homicide for his position within the slaying of an accountant who Bulger and Flemmi feared would testify towards them.

‘Unhealthy man’

Bulger’s former associates turned on him whereas he was at massive and their info led to a 2000 indictment that initially charged him with 19 murders.

“The man is a sociopathic killer,” Tom Foley, who labored on Bulger circumstances for the Massachusetts State Police, instructed CNN.

“He beloved that kind of life. He is one of many hardest and cruelest people that operated within the Boston space. He is a foul, unhealthy, unhealthy man.”

When Bulger fled, he first took Teresa Stanley, his girlfriend of 30 years, with him. After a couple of weeks at massive, nonetheless, Stanley needed to go dwelling so Bulger dropped her off within the Boston space. He picked up one other of his girlfriends, Catherine Greig, and disappeared once more.

Bulger spent his last years of freedom in Quantity 303 of the Princess Eugenia condominium advanced in Santa Monica with Greig.

Considered one of their neighbours, Anna Bjornsdottir, a former US tv actress and Miss Iceland of 1974, earned a $2m reward for delivering Bulger. She was watching a tv information report in regards to the Bulger manhunt when she recognised the person she knew by the title Charlie Gasko and notified the FBI.

At first he denied his identification however finally instructed authorities, “You understand who I’m. I am Whitey Bulger.” Greater than $800,000 in money and a cache of weapons was discovered hidden within the partitions of his condominium.

Greig was sentenced to eight years in jail and fined $150,000 for serving to Bulger evade seize. She is scheduled for launch in September 2020.

Bulger’s two-month trial for homicide, extortion and drug dealing in 2013 was typically raucous. A parade of former associates testified towards him, giving brutal particulars about how Bulger would kill enemies after which take a nap.

Typically Bulger sat silently on the defendant’s desk and at different occasions he engaged in profane shouting matches with witnesses equivalent to Flemmi.

Bulger, who denied ever being an FBI informant, refused to testify on the grounds that the trial was a sham.

The US Justice Division paid greater than $20m in damages to households of individuals killed by Bulger on the grounds that he was working underneath authorities supervision whereas killing.

Whereas Bulger was robbing banks and killing individuals, his youthful brother Billy was buying political notoriety and energy.

Billy served within the Massachusetts legislature for 35 years, together with a number of years as president of the state Senate, after which he was president of the College of Massachusetts.

He was pressured to resign the latter job in 2003 after it was discovered that eight years earlier he had spoken by telephone along with his brother, who on the time was a federal fugitive, and didn’t report it to authorities.

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thomasroach · 5 years

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The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel 2 Review

After a long wait, The Legend of Heroes: Trails Of Cold Steel 2 finally launches on the PlayStation 4. Is this massive JRPG worth your time, or should you look elsewhere?

The Legend of Heroes: Trails Of Cold Steel 2 Review

It is worth noting that players can start with this title, but playing the first entry comes highly recommended. There is a recap, but it doesn’t cover everything.

Trails of Cold Steel 2 starts off one month after the end of the original. Rean has been unconscious since then, and wakes up in the mountains of Ymir. When he finds out he has been out for a month, he immediately starts trying to figure out what happened to the rest of Class VII. After Rean gets back to Ymir, he finds out that Thor’s Military Academy has been taken over and his classmates are MIA. Then, before he can even get situated, his sister is abducted by the Jaegers, right in front of him.

When all is said and done, there is the only one thing left to do. Rean has to find his classmates and rescue his sister. On top of all this, the Ereboian Civil war is in full swing, making travel very difficult. Thankfully the knight Valimar allows you to fast travel to areas, which you could not do in the first game. With Valimar’s help, you start getting your classmates back together and start finding out where your sister is being held. Overall, the story can run you 60-70 hours without going for 100%.

Trails is a turn-based RPG with some interesting battle mechanics. You can attack, use magic, use skills, move, or use items like a typical RPG. The turn order randomly has buffs that can apply to either enemies or allies, depending on the rotation. So on top of worrying about healing and applying status effects, you need to either delay enemies or yourself in the turn order to get the best buffs. For instance, a guaranteed critical attack from an enemy might kill you, but if you delay him, the critical attack applies to your attack instead. The combat can feel overwhelming at first, especially if you didn’t play the first game.

That is how it works for normal combat, though there is mech combat as well. The knight Valimar is a mech, and when you go up against other mechs, you will use him. As opposed to the four you have in normal combat, Valimar fights alone with support from only one other party member. Every enemy mech has a weak spot depending on their stance. In order to win the tougher battles, you need to find all the weak spots on the enemy. You can also upgrade Valimar as the story progresses.

Outside of the main story stuff, you will have side missions and other activities you can take on. The crux of the side content involves you finding the rest of Thor’s students and getting them to join your cause. Class VII can’t be missed, but the other students are scattered all over the world. Bringing them into the fray will unlock other shops and facilities you wouldn’t usually have access to. You can also fish, cook, and snowboard when you have some downtime.

There is an incentive to do the side quests in this game outside of the standard rewards as well. When you complete a quest or clear an optional dungeon, you are awarded with AP. The more AP you get, the more bonus items and cash you get. A lot of the accessories given to you get here aren’t bad either. One minor annoyance is that to get the maximum AP you might have to beat a boss in X amount of turns, and they are HP tanks.

Note that we ran into a couple of issues with the frame rate when using Turbo mode. In areas where the higher elements are in play, and you have Turbo on during battle, you will get some frame drops. While dashing through the world in Turbo, you will also have some frame drops. You also have a lot of reused assets since you go back to a ton of places from the first game. Being that it is an old school JRPG, you have to go where the game wants you to go sometimes. For instance, a path to the left with a chest isn’t accessible because Rean says we should go to the highway first. Annoying, but nothing game breaking.

Fans of the original Trails of Cold Steel will want to pick up this second entry, but newcomers might want to get up to speed before diving in.

This review of Trails Of Cold Steel 2 was done on the PlayStation 4. A code was provided by the publisher.

Game Reviews

Posted 1 hour ago by Johnny Hurricane in Game Reviews, Johnny Hurricane Reviews, PlayStation 4 Reviews

The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel 2 Review

After a long wait, The Legend of Heroes: Trails Of Cold Steel 2 finally launches on the PlayStation 4. Is this massive JRPG worth your time, or should you look elsewhere?

Posted June 6, 2019 by Casey Scheld in Casey Scheld Reviews, Game Reviews, PC Reviews

Rogue Reaper Review

The almighty Grim Reaper has certainly got his hands tied with the constant influx of people sliding off their mortal coil, but he’s got some help in the form of his daughter in Fireroot Studios’ new

Posted June 3, 2019 by Casey Scheld in Casey Scheld Reviews, Game Reviews, PC Reviews

Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD Review

A lot has happened since 2007, but the swashbuckling adventures of Application Systems Heidelberg’s 12-year-old title Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! still ring true today. Remastered in HD and

Posted May 30, 2019 by Johnny Hurricane in Game Reviews, Johnny Hurricane Reviews, PC Reviews

Pathologic 2 Review

Pathologic 2 is a remake of the original Pathologic, bringing with it some modern updates. Does it hold up against other games in the same genre, or should it have stayed in the past? Check out our

The post The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel 2 Review appeared first on GamersHeroes.

The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel 2 Review published first on https://juanaframi.tumblr.com/

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computerguideworld-blog · 5 years

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Best Amazon Prime TV shows (May 2019): the best series to watch this month

New Post has been published on https://computerguideto.com/awesome/best-amazon-prime-tv-shows-may-2019-the-best-series-to-watch-this-month/

Best Amazon Prime TV shows (May 2019): the best series to watch this month

Amazon Prime Video is on a roll. The streaming service adds exclusive Tv presents and fresh new episodes to its TV catalogue every week. Although that means you& apos; ve always got plenty of old favourites and new series to binge on, it entails it can be tricky to choose which one to pick next. But this list is here to help construct that option a little bit easier.

Amazon Prime Video is part of the Amazon Prime membership, which means a lot more than just super fast deliveries these days.

For starters, there’s Prime Music, Audible freebies, the Kindle Lending Library, lots of photos storage and the chance to stream great movies and Tv shows through Prime Video, which is Amazon’s answer to an on-demand streaming service.

Although Amazon has a huge back catalogue on its Prime Video service, there are lots of mediocre TV options too, which might fool you into thinking they’d be worthy of a watch, as well as lots of genuinely terrible ones, which we& apos ;d prefer you didn& apos; t waste your time on at all.

We& apos; ve collected together a huge selection of TV shows for you to choose from, including shiny new series through to Amazon& apos; s own original shows.

In our guide you& apos; ll detect our pick of the best Amazon Prime TV shows that are currently on offer. We have options for fans of thrillers, jaw-dropping sci-fi, comedy fans and those who enjoy nothing more than a fantasy police drama.

Coming Soon: Although this list is full of great TV depicts, there are always some tantalising new series on the horizon that we can& apos; t wait to watch. You& apos; ll have to wait until the very end of May( May 31, to be exact) but this spring is all about Good Omens, the Tv display adaptation of the magical volume from the fantastical minds of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. This month also welcomes the darkly funny season 2 of Fleabag( May 17 ), as well as the third season of Sneaky Pete( May 10 ).

Image Credit: Amazon Prime Video

Get your free 30 -day Amazon Prime trial

Amazon has been developing and creating titles itself over the past few years, who the hell is called Amazon Originals or Amazon Original Series.

These homegrown TV proves are arguably some of the best that the Amazon Prime Video service has to offer( believe The Tick and Transparent ), which you can watch instantaneously when you have Amazon Prime access. There are many more shows you can watch through Amazon too of course, but some of these have to be purchased in order for you to start streaming.

We& apos; ll be keeping this list constantly updated- if any paid proves become free that we feel need to be included, they& apos; ll be added too. Scroll through to see our pickings that we& apos; ve divided up into the following categories: drama, comedy and thriller.

If you can only watch one …

Image Credit: Amazon Prime Video

The Tick

The Tick is a superhero TV show with a difference. It& apos; s chock full of brightly-coloured heroes, sarcastic villains, excellent tales and fantastic wordplay. Unlike the sagas in Marvel movies, the heroes and rogues in The Tick feel like they belong to our world. They& apos; re messy, funny and construct lots of terrible decisions. Luckily, the display was renewed for a second season, which manages to be even smarter, slicker and more heartwarming than the first, with noteworthy performances from Peter Serafinowicz and Griffin Newman in the lead roles as The Tick and, erm, Arthur.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 2

Check out our in-depth Amazon Prime Video reviewFancy a cinema? Then our best Amazon Prime movies feature is for youWant to see what the rival is doing? Then check out best Netflix TV provesThese are the best movies on Netflix UK

Amazon Prime or Netflix? Check out our comparison video below!

Image Credit: Amazon Prime Video

Absentia

If you& apos; ve had a Stana Katic shaped hole in your life since Castle ended in 2016, you& apos; ll be glad to know she& apos; s starring in a brand new series on Amazon Prime. Katic takes up the role of FBI agent Emily Byrne who, six years after being proclaimed dead, returns to the world and has to try and piece her life and memory back together.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 1

Image Credit: Amazon Prime

New Season Added: The Expanse

Arguably the best sci-fi show since Battlestar Galatica, The Expanse is based on the series of fictions by James S. A. Corey, the pen name of authors Daniel Abraham and Ty Franck. It& apos; s set in a future where humans have colonised most of the solar system, but there are big divisions between the occupants of Earth, Mars and& apos; Belters& apos ;, who reside on space station beyond the asteroid belt. It& apos; s full of politics, heart-wrenching emotional stories and some of the most breath-taking scenes of outer space we& apos; ve ever seen. If you& apos; re a fan of sci-fi, you& apos; ll love this.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

Image Credit: Amazon Prime Video

Alias

US action series Alias ran for five seasons between 2001 and 2006 and fans will be happy to hear every single episode is now ready to stream on Amazon Prime Instant Video right this instant! Created by J. J. Abrams, the Tv indicate starrings Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow, a double agent who is working for the CIA, but also posing as an operative for an organisation called SD-6, which is a big criminal and espionage network.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 5

Update: Alias is still available via Amazon Prime Video, but it& apos; s no longer free. You& apos; ll have to pay PS2. 49 per episode, or buy a whole season for PS13. 99.

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Tom Clancy& apos; s Jack Ryan

The long-awaited latest re-imagining of Tom Clancy& apos; s Jack Ryan is now available on Amazon Prime, with the fantastic John Krasinski( best known for his role in the US version of The Office) playing CIA analyst Ryan. The indicate has received largely positive reviews and it& apos; s definitely worth devote the first few episodes a watch, particularly if you& apos; re a fan of political dramata, the Jack Ryan stories or Krasinski.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 1

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Ray Donovan

Set in LA, Ray Donovan is a drama about a guy called, you guessed it, Ray Donovan, who is a fixer for a top statute firm in the city. That entails he gets caught up in all kinds of drama, like threats, bribes and every other kind of shady activity you can imagine.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 6

Update: Ray Donovan is still available via Amazon Prime Video, but it& apos; s no longer free. You& apos; ll have to pay PS2. 49 per episode, or buy a whole season for PS13. 99.

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New Season Added: American Gods

Based on the novel by Neil Gaiman and brought to the screen by the ever-excellent Bryan Fuller, American Gods is an existential look at what would happen if deities were to walk the earth.

Starring Ricky Whittle( who has built the transition from Hollyoaks to Hollywood with ease) and Ian McShane, the show is both bizarre and brazen, cultish and controversial. It may take a while to figure out just what the hell is going on, but this is one smart, celestial slice of amusement that& apos; s already got us hooked.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 2

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Animal Kingdom

Looking for a new crime drama to get stuck into? Animal Kingdom could be what you& apos; re looking forward to. The depict follows adolescent J Cody who moves in with extended relatives in Southern California after the death of his mother. Far from being boring, Cody discoveries his relatives live a wild life of excess and it& apos; s all funded by crime.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

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Black Sails

Johnny Depp may have spend the latter half of his career convincing the world that pirates all look, stench and talk like a Rolling Stone but we prefer Black Sails& apos; interpretation. Exclusive to Amazon Prime, Black Sails treats the pirate legend with a touch more reality and this is pretty much all down to Shakespearean thesp Toby Stephens.

Number of seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

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New Season Added: Bosch

With 20 -something novels to mine for source material, Bosch is a character that was always destined for the small screen. Created by Michael Connelly but brilliantly brought to life by actor Titus Welliver, the series follows the exploits of LA Homicide detective Harry Bosch and features enough grit to pave the longest of driveways.

This is no surprise – the series has been created by Eric Overmyer, who was part of the alumni that created The Wire. Bosch is another show that has been put together by Amazon Studios – proving that streaming services are becoming just as powerful as the HBOs of the world when it comes to producing compelling drama.

Bosch Season 5 has now landed on Amazon Prime, continuing the saga of Harry Bosch and it comes with a nice uplift in quality too, building season upon season to become one of our favourite presents on Prime at the moment.

Number of seasons on Amazon Prime: 5

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Goliath

Billy Bob Thornton stars as a washed-up lawyer looking for a big break who stumbles on to a big case that may well give him the solace he needs. Made by David E Kelly who loves a bit of courtroom drama, having already made Boston Legal, The Practice and Ally McBeal, the display works well as a standalone series but there& apos; s talk that it may get a second season. Goliath is part of Amazon& apos; s Original series of TV shows.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 2

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The Good Fight

If you were a fan of US legal and political drama The Good Wife, then you& apos; re going to love The Good Fight. It& apos; s set one year after the events of the final episode of the The Good Wife and this time shifts the focus of the narrative to Diane Lockhart.

Season one has been a success and now the second season is available to stream via Amazon, but regrettably it& apos; s not free. But while you either wait for it to become free( it may take a while) or wait to decide whether it& apos; s worth it, catch up on the first season now to help you induce your intellect up.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3( The 3rd season is available, but you& apos; ll have to pay for it .)

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Hand of God

Last seen in Sons of Anarchy, Ron Perlman has moved from the mad world of biker gangs into the stranger world of law. Perlman plays a vice-riddled barrister who, after suffering a breakdown, starts to believe he is a messenger from god.

The full first season for Hand of God arrived on Amazon Prime, after a successful pilot. A second season is also available, which will sadly be the last as Amazon has decided to not renew the demonstrate. This is a shame as it may not be a light-hearted ride – but it is one drama that takes dark turn after dark turn and is all the better for it.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 2

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Hell on Wheels

Hell on Wheels sounds like it should be a Sons of Anarchy rival, about motorcycle gangs or the like. But it’s actually centred on the construction of the US’s First Transcontinental Railroad. The first season begins soon after the assassination of President Lincoln and from there the demonstrate plays out like a western, indicating myriad sides of the railway being built – from slaves to their owners, to the money me behind the strategy. It’s a show that’s been a massive hit for AMC – dropping just behind The Walking Dead in their ratings for original shows.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 5

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The Last Tycoon

F Scott Fitzgerald may be known for The Great Gatsby and Tender Is The Night but The Last Tycoon – his last and unfinished fiction – is perhaps his most ambitious piece of work. It peels away the glitz and glamour of Hollywood in the& apos; 30 s to show a period when backstabbing was the norm, fascism was on the rise and everyone had an unbelievable amount of money. Kelsey Grammer is superb as movie mogul Pat Brady, while Matt Bomer is also great as Monroe Stahr, the up and coming cinema exec who wants to make it big. The Last Tycoon is occasionally flawed but it& apos; s a sumptuous watch.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 1

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The Looming Tower

The 8th episode of The Looming Tower are now available on Amazon Prime Video, but despite the fact there still aren& apos; t many compared against most Tv presents, it hasn& apos; t stopped this narrative of threat and politics from proving to be a hit. Based on the book by the same name, it& apos; s about the unease around Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden in the 1990 s, as well as the rivalry between the CIA and FBI.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 1

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Downton Abbey

Like watching fictional posh people live their lives in early-twentieth century opulence? You& apos; re not alone- millions of people tuned in to Downton Abbey during its TV run, and it& apos; s now available to stream in its entirety on Amazon Prime Video.

Following the trials and tribulations of the Crawley family on the titular Downton Abbey estate, it& apos; s a kitchen sink drama of sorts- except all the cutlery is made of silver, and it& apos; s an army of servants doing the washing up.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 7

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Masters Of Sex

Yes, Masters Of Sex could have ended up being a Mad Men rip-off when it first arrived in 2013 but thanks to the brilliance of Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan the present soon elevated above being a copycat.

Sheen is Dr William Masters, a fertility expert who turns his hand to researching the world of sex. Turns out researching sexuality entails having a lot of it, which would all be rather gratuitous if it wasn& apos; t wrap in some of the most intelligent script work around.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 2

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Outlander

Game of Thrones with kilts and time traveling, Outlander was a solid show in its first season – by the second it was a great one. Based on the eight-book series by Diana Gabaldon, Outlander is about Claire Randall, a nurse who is transported from 1945 to 1743, where she satisfies a Scottish proscribe and a simmer romance ensues. Given it’s shot in the Scottish highlands, the prove seems fantastic, is well acted and should be your next binge watch.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 4

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The Path

Aaron Paul is back on Tv, thanks to The Path. And while his role might not be as enticing as Jesse in Breaking Bad, The Path is decent enough. Revolving around the Meyerist movement, and its’ not a cult/ definitely a cult& apos; cult, the show is a gripping and beautifully shot look at what happens when people genuinely believe.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

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Rogue

Now in its fourth season, Rogue has matured into a great crime drama. While it may not be the Sopranos in its scope, it has a realness to it that attains the violence that& apos; s shown on the screen hit home hard. Thandie Newton stars a Grace Travis, an undercover sleuth who is trying to balance being a wife and mother with the illicit affair of a crime boss. Gritty stuff.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 4

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Sneaky Pete

Sneaky Pete& apos; s plot maybe a little cliche – a con man presumes the identity of someone else to try and make a new break in the world – but Giovanni Ribisi is superb as Marius, the titular character and there& apos; s plenty of intrigue to keep you glued to this new Amazon Original.

Interestingly, the show is co-created by Bryan Cranston which builds him the streaming king, devoted he& apos; s done so well with Breaking Bad on Netflix. Don& apos; t anticipate Sneaky Pete to be as intense as Breaking Bad – it& apos; s a crime caper, yes, but it doesn& apos; t take itself too seriously.

The third season of the show is coming on May 10, 2019.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 2

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Startup

Not content with becoming a Hobbit, starring in the Marvel universe or playing Dr Watson, Martin Freeman goes back to his TV roots for Startup – a great look at what happens when a bunch of tech entrepreneurs generate something that is much bigger than they ever thought it would be. It is sometimes be too gritty for its own good, but it& apos; s great to see Freeman hamming it up as the big bad.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

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UnREAL

UnREAL focuses on the fictional goings-on behind the scenes of a fictional reality indicate. It& apos; s a show that holds a break mirror up to the vacuous and plentiful reality shows that litter TV channels at the moment and actually goes into some rather dark territory. Yes, it& apos; s melodramatic and will wave numerous moral flags at you while you are watching it, but it& apos; s nonetheless engrossing television.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

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Transparent

Anything Netflix can do, Amazon Prime can do better it seems, especially when it comes to winning a Golden Globe. Netflix may have induced history by being the first streaming service to win a Golden Globe, courtesy of the acting talents of Kevin Spacey in House of Cards, but Amazon ran and topped this by winning the Best TV Show prize in 2014 for Transparent.

It was much deserved. Transparent is everything you want in a Tv reveal. It& apos; s heartwarming, funny and packs a real punch about a subject that doesn& apos; t get enough attention: transgenderism. Jeffrey Tambor& apos; s Maura Pfefferman is a television character we hope will be around for a long time.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

Comedy

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Fresh Off the Boat

The critically acclaimed series based on the memoirs of chef and food personality Eddie Huang is back for a fourth series. The show follows the hip-hop preoccupied Eddie and his family as they reconcile their Taiwanese roots with their new life in Florida, where they have moved to open a cowboy-themed restaurant.

Funny and heartwarming, Fresh Off the Boat is not only altogether binge-able, but it also represents an important milestone in the portrayal of Asian-American families on the small screen.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

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Black-ish

Black-ish is brilliant. Not brilliant-ish, but brilliant. It& apos; s just made by two Nightly Show writers and is about adman Andre, who thinks his children aren& apos; t, er, black enough because they& apos; ve lives in the very white suburbs all their life. This entails a( vehicle) crash course in black culture ensues. Two seasons of the display are on Amazon Prime and it& apos; s well worth a watch, filled with the warm humour ABC has brought to the world with the likes of Modern Family and The Goldbergs.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

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Casual

The final eight episode season of Casual is now available on Amazon Prime. It& apos; s about a newly divorced single mom who lives with her brother and daughter. The slapstick drama is about dating, romance, families and all kinds of other modern dramata with a funny, and sometimes dark, twist. It& apos; s received a fair bit of critical acclaim over the years, but won& apos; t be returning for a fifth season. So enjoy it while you can!

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

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Catastrophe

From the minds of Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney comes one of the funniest, most well-written sitcom in years. The plot is slight: a one-night stand turns into a relationship once Sharon announces she is pregnant. But the series contains some of the most cut-to-the-bone humour seen on Tv. Combine this with a nice slab of pathos – nestled among many a sexuality joke – and what you have is a modern classic.

The third series, which recently aired on Channel 4, is now available on Amazon Prime Video – it features the last ever performance from the imitable Carrie Fisher.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

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Comrade Detective

Comrade Detective is a weird gem on Amazon. Starring Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the show is a parody of gritty American buddy policeman indicates and Communist Propaganda from the Cold War.

It& apos; s an unusual combining, but it works. Each episode is presented as though it& apos; s a remastered real episode of a lost Romanian Communist Propaganda series from the 80 s which was used to entertain and promote Communist ideals. The entire display was filmed in Romania with Romanian actors and then dubbed over by Tatum and Gordon-Levitt.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 1

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New Season Added: The Tick

We like a dark twisting on the superhero genre as much as the next person, and The Tick delivers it: it& apos; s about an accountant with mental health issues, who may or may not be a superhero – it could all be in his head. Peter Serafinowicz is the eponymous Tick, and despite that instead sombre-sounding plot outline, this is a black and surreal slapstick worth attempting out.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 2

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The Grand Tour

Clarkson, Hammond and the other one are back for Grand Tour: Season 2. Well, we kind of knew that they would be as they all have massive contracts that mean we will be seeing quite a few seasons of the Definitely Not Top Gear But Quite A Bit Like Top Gear show. This season considers Clarkson drive a fast auto, Hammond drive a faster vehicle and virtually die, and the other one drive a fast car considerably slower than the rest. If you enjoy watching middle aged men burn rubber in the middle of the desert, like a scene out of Mad Max: Fury Road, then “theyre for” you. And if we haven& apos; t quite convinced you yet – Gizmodo offered up this quote about the reveal: “Some men doing stuff for no clearly defined reason.” Lovely stuff.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3( new episodes weekly)

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I Love Dick

Graduating from Amazon Originals pilot to fully fledged TV prove, I Love Dick is a great subversive watch. The indicate starrings Kevin Bacon and is based on the celebrated book that looks at a married couple who are having marriage issues and their relationship with college professor, Dick. Bacon is on top form as the charismatic Dick and the reveal& apos; s multiple POV storytelling( Rashomon style) works well.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video TV: 1

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New Season Added: The Last Man On Earth

Not many people can find the funny in the post-apocalypse, but Will Forte has managed it with The Last Man On Earth. He writes and stars in this comedy where he is the only survivor on earth after a virus kills everyone else. The cast is brilliant, with the likes of January Jones and Kristen Wiig join him on his adventures and there’s a handful of decent cameos too – including Will Ferrell and Jon Hamm in season 3.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 4

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The League

Created by Jeff and Jackie Schaffer and starring Mark Duplass, The League is very much a US focused comedy – based around a group of friends in an American Fantasy Football league – but don’t let that put you off as it’s nearly always hilarious. The lengths the group go to to win The Shiva – the league trophy – is great to watch, as is there balancing of trying to win week in week out with their normal lives. All seven seasons of the prove are available on Prime Video.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 7

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The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

A new series from Gilmore Girls creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino, The Marvelous Mrs Maisel tells the story of 1950 s Jewish homemaker Miriam Maisel. After her husband confess he& apos; s been having an affair, Midge drunkenly gets on stage at a comedy club and discovers that she& apos; s utterly hilarious. In a period when women aren& apos; t encouraged to be publicly funny, Midge seeks her new-found comedic talent in the male-dominated stand up comedy world.

Seasons to watch on Amazon Prime: 2

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Mad Dogs

The UK version of Mad Dogs was a breath of fresh air when it first aired. Well, the first season was then it all went a little too strange. This remake – green-lit from Amazon& apos; s burgeoning Originals series – takes very good from the UK version and mixtures it with a plot that& apos; s a little easier to follow and humour that& apos; s more laugh out loud than pitch black.

The premise is the same: a bunch of mates go and visit one friend at his luxury villa to celebrate his early retirement, only for murder, mayhem and mind-boggling plot developments to ensue. A touch of genius is the recasting of Ben Chaplin. While he played the rich, retiring Alvo in the UK version here he gets to try his luck in a bigger and better role.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 1

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Mozart in the Jungle

Now into its fourth series, Mozart in the Jungle was this surprise winner at the 2015 Golden Globes, where it won Best Comedy Series. The show is a comedy set in the strange world of classical music. Gael Garcia Bernal plays young conductor Rodrigo who replaces a retiring conductor played by Malcolm McDowell. Based loosely on a true narrative and created by the likes of Jason Schwartzman and Roman Coppola, it& apos; s well worth a watch.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 4

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Parks and Recreation

Parks and Rec is a joy of a indicate. Originally seen as a quasi spin-off of the Office – utilizing the same documentary style camerawork, awkward pauses, asides to camera – it soon grew from an amusing first season, about the goings on in the parks department of Pawnee, to a slapstick phenomenon that spanned a fantastic seven seasons. It& apos; s not just the script that stimulates it great, it& apos; s also the characters – headed up by the ever-brilliant Amy Poehler.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 7

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Seinfeld

Seinfeld is comedy gold. It’s the sitcom that was self reflexive and knowing. It was about Jerry Seinfeld who was played by Jerry Seinfeld but was playing a version of himself. It’s a similar trick Larry David used when spinning off his character for the show Curb Your Enthusiasm. He even took it a step further to make a whole season of Curb dedicated to bringing back Seinfeld. Over nine seasons this prove, which is essentially about nothing, will captivate you, make you laugh and think. It’s fantastic.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 9

Thrillers

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New Season Added: The Americans

The Americans was cruelly mishandled when it originally came to UK TV, so we are glad it has finally discovered a decent place to reside. The show is a cracking crime period thriller that follows the exploits of a couple of KGB agents posing as US citizens around the time Ronald Reagan became US president.

It may occasionally flit between the ridiculous and the sublime but you would expect nothing more from a is demonstrating that& apos; s main conceit comprises characters duelling with duality. The& apos; 80 s defining is fantastic, too, though there aren& apos; t enough shell suits for our liking.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 6

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The Crossing

This sci-fi thriller has a really interesting premise. A group of refugees trying to escape a war arrive in an American town looking for somewhere to live. The sci-fi twist? They seem to be from 180 years in the future. Gasp! The tale centres around a local sheriff, a federal agent and a mum looking forward to her missing daughter. It& apos; s full of conspiracy, mystery and there might be a superpower or two thrown in for good measure. But shh, we don& apos; t want to spoil anything.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 1

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The Exorcist

There has been an influx of TV adaptations of movies recently, with many of them actually reaching the mark. The ones that succeeded the most are those that take the theme/ feeling of the movies they are adapting and go in their own direction – Fargo is a perfect example of this. Another instance is The Exorcist. Although it takes a couple of episodes to to go in there, the Tv series is a decent spin-off of the movie, with only a slither of a thread attaching the two.

Don& apos; t anticipate full-on scares, as this is definitely a slow burner. But when the exorcisms come( and there are a few) they will send a chill down your spine. The show is now into its second season, too, so you can watch the first season with the knowledge that the narrative of terror is set to continue.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 2

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The Fall

Before he was whipping up a blizzard as Mr Grey, Jamie Dornan played an effortlessly charming and equally chilling serial killer in The Fall, a fantastic Irish drama that deserves all the acclaim it gets.

Dornan is Paul Spector, a care worker who has a sideline in killing woman. To help track him down, hard-nosed detective Stella Gibson( Gillian Anderson) heads to Belfast to try and capture the murderer. The Fall is a perfect blend of intelligent scripting, nuanced acting and a fantastic premise. Knowing who the killer is from scene one amps up, rather than releases, the present& apos; s tension.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

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Fear The Walking Dead

Fear The Walking Dead is a show that tries its hardest to be more than a spin-off. Set in Los Angeles, the indicate follows high school guidance counselor Madison Clark( a brilliant Kim Dickens fresh from Treme) and English educator Travis Manawa( Cliff Curtis) as they adapt to a life after the& apos; zombie& apos; outbreak. The show is slow paced, each episode is an hour and there& apos; s a 90 -minute pilot, but it manages to approach the Walking Dead world in a wholly different way.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

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Halt And Catch Fire

Now in its fourth season, Halt And Catch Fire is another surefire hit by AMC – the folks that brought us Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Set around a fictionalised version of the computer revolution of the 1980 s and the rise of the web in the& apos; 90 s, Catch Fire is a fantastic look at how technology has improved all “peoples lives”, while nearly tearing apart the innovators at the same time.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 4

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Hap and Leonard

Filmed in Baton Rouge and based on the stories of Joe Lansdale, Hap and Leonard is a great swampy noir thriller of a show that’s based on the relationship of two friends and the sometimes violent scrapes they get into. James Purefoy and Michael K Williams are superb as the pair, one a Vietnam vet, the other a draft dodger. Set in the 80 s, the show is similar to Cold In July, the movie from the same writer and is only six episodes long, so perfect for a binge watch.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 3

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Haven

Stephen King has had a rocky journey to the big and small screen. For every adaptation that works( Misery, Shawshank Redemption ), there’s a dozen that don’t( The Langoliers, Under The Dome TV show ). Haven is a strange one – it’s a show that started as an adaptation of a Stephen King short story, The Colorado Kid, and has mutated into a love letter to King and his stories. Over the course of five seasons, the demonstrate has becomes a great watch – especially if you are a King fan and can spot the many references.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 4

Update: Haven is still available via Amazon Prime Video, but it& apos; s no longer free. You& apos; ll have to pay PS2. 49 per episode, or buy a whole season for PS13. 99.

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Into The Badlands

Into The Badlands is a heady mix of brilliant martial arts and high drama as developed fighter Sunny( Daniel Wu) takes a group of people on a distorted road trip-up through the mystical badlands, a post-apocalyptic landscape some 500 years after a devastating war. There& apos; s plenty of bite in each episode, and it also contains some of the best fighting seen on television.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

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Mr Robot

It was an agonising wait for Mr Robot in the UK – the first season had all-but ended in the US before we even got a sniff of it. But its popularity meant that there was something of a bidding war to see who would show it in the UK. Amazon, Netflix and other more traditional broadcasters fought for it, proving that even bean counters can see the worth in counter culture.

Amazon won in the end and is the perfect place for a show that focuses on the exploits of hacker Elliot( a superb Rami Malek ). Mr Robot is Fight Club for the Tor generation, lifting a lid on a world where what Linux kernel you use is not just a badge of honour but a way of life.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 3

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The Man In The High Castle

There have been a number of successful Amazon pilots that have built it to a full series but none have the epic potential that Man In The High Castle has. This Philip K Dick adaptation is finally available to river – with all episodes prepared for your consumption. High Castle imagines what the world would be like if Germany had won World War II and the Nazis had taken global control. Turns out it& apos; s a bit worse than us all driving around in VW Beetles and wearing Hugo Boss coats.

Season 2 is now available and expands on the mythos. Given this is a cautionary tale about what could happen when the hard right takes over America, things suddenly don& apos; t feel too far fetched.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 3

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Preacher

Amazon of a Preacher, man! Preacher is the next big comic-book adaptation and my deity it& apos; s good. It takes the deranged feel of the graphic novels and translates it well to the small screen. Dominic Cooper is great as small-town preacher Jesse Custer who, occupied by a strange spirit, starts to do God& apos; s work in a small America town with his ex girlfriend( a brilliant Ruth Negga) and an Irish vampire, played by Misfits& apos; Joe Gilgun as his cohorts.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 3

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Ripper Street

For a show that’s steeped in murder, it’s pleasing to note that we all have Amazon to thank for breathing new life into Ripper Street. After two series of the depict, which focuses on the lives of the East End of London in the 19 th Century where there is a copycat Jack the Ripper on the loose, it was cancelled by the BBC. Amazon decided there was enough fan love out there, thankfully, and resurrected the show for three more series. Great acting masks some of the hokier moments of the script but this is all good, grizzly fun.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 5

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Sons Of Anarchy

Seemingly always vying for the top spot of Best Recently Finished Drama( we may have made up that award) with Breaking Bad, Sons Of Anarchy is a long brooding menace of a show that deserves your attention. Centred on a motorcycle gang that live by their own rules( you can probably guess what their name is from the title) the show is positively Shakespearean in its storytelling and will have you gripped from episode one.

While Ron Perlman steals the prove as Clay, Charlie Hunnam& apos; s Jax is one of the best tortured spirits you will see on any television depict. All seven seasons of the demonstrate are now streaming on the service.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 7

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Vikings

If you have any interest in Norse mythology then the name Ragnar Lothbrok will entail a whole lot to you. Basically he was a king and powerful ruler that was a right git to the English and the French.

Vikings is a series that traces his Norse-based goings on with enough charm and scope to take on Game of Thrones in the sword and sandals stakes. Yes it takes a number of liberties with its source material but the acting is top class, as is the cinematography in a historical romp that& apos; s now deservedly in its fourth season – the second largest half of which is now available.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 5

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The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead has been reanimated more hours than the zombies that harruange the group of survivors we have all come to know and love. Initially created with Frank Darabont at the helm, just leave after the first season then his replacing was eventually replaced and their replacing replaced.

With this in mind, it& apos; s amazing that not only has the indicate consistently managed to improve season after season it has become one of the most successful series ever. Yes it sometimes slumps along slower than a zombie with its legs hacked off but give it hour and it will reward you with more drama than you can shake a bloody stump at.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 9

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The X-Files

The X-Files was one of the first shows that espoused event TV. Yes, it had many& apos; ogre of the week& apos; storylines but creator Chris Carter managed to produce a nine-season long myth arc that maintained viewers coming back for more. That and the brilliant casting of David Duchovny as Fox Mulder and the ever-excellent Gillian Anderson and Dana Scully. With a new 10 th season on the horizon, Amazon has put all nine previous seasons on to Prime – all remastered in widescreen. Lovely stuff.

Seasons on Amazon Prime: 9

The best of the rest, and coming soon

All or Nothing

We definitely recommend you get stuck into All or Nothing, a football documentary that follows Manchester City behind-the-scenes during the Premier League winning and record-breaking 2017/2018 season. It& apos; s an 8-part series that features all forms of exclusive footage, from locker room pep talks with coach Pep Guardiola, and a look at the players& apos; lives off and on the pitching. It& apos; s a must-watch for everyone from die-hard Man City fans to even those with a vague interested in footy.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 1

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Batman: The Animated Series

You& apos; ve seen all the Nolan and Burton Bat flicks, and you& apos; re wisely avoiding the new Batfleck movies. If you& apos; re still hankering for a Batman fix, you could do far, far worse than jumping into Batman: The Animated Series. Kicking off back in 1992, it bridges the gap of the Burton aesthetic and the comic book series, and is regarded by Batman fans as having perhaps the definitive onscreen take over the Dark Knight.

It& apos; s ostensibly a kids cartoon, but the ongoing storylines are captivating and stylishly noir-like in delivery. And to cap things off, the voice casting is superb- Kevin Conroy is an assuredly-good Batman( reprising the role for the recent Batman: Arkham games ), while Star Wars& apos; own Mark Hamill is a fantastically unhinged Joker.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 4

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Grand Prix Driver

This new Amazon Original documentary takes spectators underneath the glitz and glamour that is the surface of Formula 1, to explore the inner-workings of the 2017 McLaren team. Narrated by Michael Douglas, this documentary follows rookie driver Stoffel Vandoorne over four episodes, as he and his squad prepare for the 2017 Formula 1 World Championship.

Season on Amazon Prime Video: 1

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Grimm

Merge a fairy tale fantasy with a police drama and you get Grimm. It& apos; s all about Nick Burkhardt, a detective based in Portland in the US who discovers he& apos; s a Grimm. Which basically entails he& apos; s a kind of mystical protector who must keep the peace between humans and creatures called Wesen. As you might expect, a lot of the characters are inspired by Grimms& apos; Fairy Tales, but the prove describes from many other sources too to create a story that& apos; s a little like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but with fairy tale creatures.

Seasons on Amazon Prime Video: 6

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Coming Soon: Good Omens

From the genius literary and fantasy minds of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett comes the Tv adaptation of their magical book Good Omens. Starring David Tennant and Michael Sheen in the lead roles of a demon and an angel, the tale is told over six parts and is anticipated to be the hottest new TV display this Spring.

Release Date: May 31, 2019

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Coming Soon: Fleabag( Season 2)

Fleabag season 1 altered everything we knew about comedy, transgressing the fourth wall and bringing the very authentic, laugh out loud funny and, at times, altogether heartbreaking private moments of the lovable but deeply flawed lead character to our TV screens. Season 2 was a huge hit when it first aired earlier this year, and you can relive all the& apos; sexy clergyman& apos; magic on Amazon soon.

Release Date: May 17, 2019