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anxiousgirlblog · 3 years

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My Goals & Wishes for 2021

This year has been both a tough and transformative year for me. I graduated this summer and for the last four months I have been at a folk high school. With my social anxiety it has been a big challenge to live away from home with people I had never met before. But it has also been the best decision of my life. I have met people that I would not be without in my life and I have grown so much as a person and I have felt a big change in my social anxiety. The fall course has ended and I'm now home. I'm continuing to the spring course and I’m going back the 18th. Hopefully I will have six more awesome months there. This is my wishes and goals for the year:

1. Be open to new people

When I start at the folk high school again, more than half of the students will be new. I'm also going to get two new roomies, which I'm feeling a bit anxious about. This means that I'm going to meet a lot of new people. Even though I have gotten some good friends from the fall I really hope to get even more friends and get to know some new people.

2. Have fun - but not too much fun

I had a lot of fun the past four months with a lot of parties at the folk high school. I have never really drunk so much before I started at the school, so I'm still descovering my limits and boundaries. This also means that I a couple of times have gotten a bit too drunk. My goal for the spring course is to have fun and let loose but not drink as much as I have for the past four months. I think the most importent thing is that I don't use alcohol when my anxiety is bad. It might help dulm my anxiety for a moment but then it just comes back full on and triggers an attack.

3. Be creative & productive

In this first course I have been focusing on pushing myself to be more social and open. Therefore I haven't really produced very much in the subjects. Now that I'm more comfortable at the school I hopefully have more energy to create something in class. I also want to be more productive when I'm not in class and use my time to be creative and use the facilities of the school.

4. Challenge myself

I really want to keep growing and therefore I will have to keep on challeging myself and try things that I'm uncomfortable with. One goal I have is to teach a dancing class at my school, which will be very challeging for me but also very fun and giving.

5. Speak up more

One thing that I find very challeging is to speak up when surounded by many people. I often don't feel heard and overlooked in discussions or decision making. I'm always afraid of what people are going to think of me. I definitely need to accept that not everybody is going to like me and that that is totally fine.

6. Share my feelings

At the beginning of the high folk school course I didn't really share with people how I felt or about my mental health problems. As I got to know people I felt comfortable sharing more and more. For the next course I hope to share a lot more from the beginning.

7. Keep in contact with friends

I really need to get better at keeping in contact with friends from home. I also really hope to keep in contact with the friends I made at the folk high school, that isn't continuing. Hopefully I will be able to see them sometimes and otherwise I'm just going to write and talk to them over the phone.

8. Get a job

As soon as I'm done at the folk high school I really need to get a job. My plan is to have one more gap year where I'm working and making money after a full year of just spending money. I also owe my parents some money that I would really like to pay them back.

9. Get a driver's license

When I have time in my next gap year I really want to get a driver's license. It's just such a nice thing to have and a good idea to get while I'm not busy with a lot of other stuff.

10. Find out what I want to study

Then the big question is what I want to study. I have some ideas but I'm not at all sure. My goal is to only have two gap years so I really need to find it out this year.

This was my goals and wishes for 2021. Thank you for reading!<333

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anxiousgirlblog · 3 years

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“if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”

I always have to remind myself that people who isn’t there when I’m feeling unwell shouldn’t be someone I use my time and energy on. If you aren’t there for me when I need you, you don’t deserve the perks of being my friend.

When I first got sick from my eating disorder I lost most of my friends. Not that I had that many to begin with. But the few that I had didn’t want to hang out with me anymore and instead went to other funnier friends. For a long time I didn’t really have any friends, which didn’t make my situation any better. After many years looking back, those so-called friends didn’t deserve me. I was there when they where sad. They weren’t there for me.

Now I always try to only give attention and time to people, who I feel is giving me the same back. I have used too much energy being nice to people, who doesn’t treat me right. I’m getting better at recognizing these “toxic” relationships and I have gotten much better at cutting people out of my life.

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anxiousgirlblog · 3 years

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10 ways to calm anxiety

We have all at some points in our life felt the cripling feeling of anxiety. I myself have been dealing with a social anxiety disorder for many years now. This means I have lot of experience in handling and calming my anxiety. This is a list of tips (that have worked for me) on how to calm down anxiety or anxious feelings. Just remember that everyone’s anxiety is different and the best thing you can do is to get professional help.

1. Talk to someone

I have always been prone to bottle up my feelings and try not to think about my worries. But instead of forgetting about them, they become even more consuming. It is therefore always a good idea to get it out and a good way to do this, is to talk about it with somebody. Tell your therapist, your parent, your friend, your teacher or someone else about what is making you anxious. If you don't really know what the trigger is then just talk about what you are feeling. When you have talked about it with someone you will likely feel a bit lighter.

2. Write it down

If you don't feel like talking to someone another good way to get some of your worries and anxiety out is to write it down. There is something calming about getting your thoughts and feelings out of your head and down on paper.

3. Be creative

Another way to cope with anxiety is to use it to make art. If you like to draw, paint, write poems, write songs or something else creative, use your feelings and thoughts to create something. It doesn't need to be a masterpiece but it is a good way to express your feelings and work through some of your worries.

4. Get moving

Exercise can be a good tool calming anxiety. It is a way to distract yourself and focus on something else for a moment. Feeling your body will likely take focus away from your anxious feelings and you will likely feel impowered and strong after a nice workout.

5. Relax

Even though it can be nice to use and feel your body through exercise, sometimes you just don't have the energy or urge to get moving. Worrying and feeling anxious takes a lot of energy and you therefore need time to recharge. It is importend that you allow yourself to relax.

6. Listen to music

If I'm feeling anxious I like to have headphones on and listen to some good music. Make a playlist of songs that you found soothing so when you are in need you have a playlist of songs that can calm you.

7. Go outside

For me being outside in nature is a very therapeutic thing. There is something so calming about being in surroundings of nature. Go to a beautiful place and feel the powers of the nurturing mother nature. Listen to the wind, the sea, the birds, and think of the fact that you are a part of this big beautiful world.

8. Indulge yourself

When your mind is tangled in a mess you have to remember to treat yourself right. You should be extra nice to yourself and indulge in things you like. This could be a good book, your favorite movie, ice cream, a cup of tea, etc.

9. Be near animals

Animals have a calming energy about them. If you have a pet go cuddle it. Many animals are very aware of our feelings and will try to comfort us. If you don't have a pet then go somewhere there are animals like for example outside where there are birds or to a farm where there are cows or horses. .

10. Ask for help

And at last if your anxiety is too consuming and you can't seem to do anything to make it better it is differently importend that you ask for help. Use the resources that are available to you and get help from professionals.

Thank you for reading. I really hope you found it useful. If you ever need someone to talk to, you are welcome to write me.

Love Frida

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