#|| but yes she wants to sleep comfortably

[moonstruckme]

hi!! ngl i’ve never actually requested anything so im kinda nervous to do so but if it’s possible, do you think you could write something along the lines of eddie munson with like an anxious reader? maybe she has a panic attack and he’s there to help in the aftermath or just an overall anxious person. i know you’ve written something similar with the marauders so i hope that this is okay for me to request. i love love love ur writing!

Thank you for requesting lovely <3

cw: aftermath of panic attack

Eddie Munson x fem!reader ♡ 642 words

Eddie’s rambling hasn’t stopped since you sat down, but it’s become background noise for you, like ocean sounds or the music they play in grocery stores. You know well enough how to get yourself through this. His hand on your back is a steady, if somewhat frantic, reassurance. 

“You okay?” Eddie asks, his rhythm slowing as you blow out a lungful of air, bending your head towards your knees. You hold up a weak thumbs-up, and it picks up again. “Shit, yeah, you’re okay, baby. You’ve got it.” 

You feel bad that this is Eddie’s first time dealing with you like this, though it’s nice to be in his trailer and not at the mall or in a restaurant or something. His couch is familiarly uncomfortable, lumpy in places and nearly flat in others, and the air smells like weed and grease, the electric fan Wayne brings out for the summer months whirring diligently in the corner. You’re glad Wayne’s not home now, though someone should probably be around to comfort Eddie after he’s done comforting you. 

“Anything I can do to help?” he asks again. “You want some water or something?” 

This time, you nod. Your boyfriend all but springs up from the couch, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and hustling it back to you like he’s training to be one of the NASCAR pit stop people. You take it from him, rubbing the condensation from the bottle on the back of your neck before taking a sip. The chill is grounding. You rest your head back on your knees.

“You feeling better, sweetheart?” Eddie grabs another water bottle from the fridge once he sees what you did with the first, holding it to your neck. “You seem better. Sounding less like Darth Vader.” 

You laugh a little, and he laughs back nervously. 

“Yeah,” you say, “it’s mostly better now.” 

He blows out a breath. “Phew, okay. Jesus. You’re a fucking champ, you know that?” 

“Thanks,” you chuckle. “Sorry I put you through that.” 

“I’m pretty sure I’m not the one who went through something just now, so consider your apology heard and nullified.” Eddie’s lips come down on the back of your head. “I’d tell you where to shove it, but I’m feeling kind of bad for you right now. Count your blessings.” 

“Oh, I’m counting them.” You smile down into the semi-dark valley between your legs and chest, taking one more deep breath in and out before lifting your head. “Okay, I’m good.” 

“Yeah?” As he pulls back to see you, your boyfriend doesn’t look so sure. His eyebrows are pulled up in the middle, freakishly huge eyes full of freakishly sweet worry. “Good enough for a hug?” 

You hum your assent, and in the next second you’re in his lap. Eddie goes all the way, curving his body over yours as his arms wrap protectively around your back and his cheek squishes into yours. 

“It scares me when you’re scared,” he admits. 

“Sorry.”

“No—goddamnit, what did we say about that? You’re lucky you’re cute, I swear—don’t be sorry. Obviously it’s not your fault, I’m just sorry that happened to you. It seemed really fucking shitty.” 

“It felt really fucking shitty,” you agree. “I’m wiped.” 

“Honestly? Me too.” Eddie chuckles. “Nap?” 

“Yes, please,” you say, but wriggle closer to him, preventing him from getting up. Eddie doesn’t seem to mind. He starts rubbing your back again, contemplative. 

“You wanna sleep here, or on the bed?” 

“Bed,” you answer immediately. 

“...right. But are you gonna get up and go to the bed?” 

You make a thoughtful humming sound, grasping him tighter. “Probably not. Maybe you could carry me?” 

A sigh, long and dramatic. “Yeah, maybe I could.” Eddie’s hands move to grip you more securely, and he grunts as he stands. “You’re seriously lucky you’re cute, trouble.” 

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x self insert #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson hurt/comfort #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson scenario #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson one shot #tw panic attack #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader

[fallenhunnyapple]

Sketchy doodles for another AU. Details + a bonus in under the cut

An Angel Lucifer appears in Heaven. No one knows why he's there or how he got there, but it doesn't seem as though the Lucifer in Hell has been replaced, this is just a whole second Lucifer. His memories only seem to go so far as the early days of Eden. Days where he was friends with the First Humans but before he had developed any sort of relationship or even real feelings for Lilith.

Adam, sort of shaken but also sort of Eager to reconnect with his first friend and the more pleasant memories of Eden, advocates to let him Stay. This Lucifer hasn't done anything, he doesn't even know about the Tree of Knowledge and it's not like Eden exists anymore for him to try it anyway. Lucifer is granted the ability to live in Heaven, but Adam will have to be responsible for him. Adam agrees and now has to watch over a Naive and Friendly Lucifer.

Lute is Less than Thrilled. She doesn't like that Lucifer is always around and she doesn't Trust him, even if Adam seems to. She does eventually warm up to him, but given her personality it doesn't really seem like she does. But Lucifer notices and he considers her a good friend. He ends up spending time with just her without Adam (she's basically angelsitting because Adam had other things to do) and they bond a bit and she's willing to accept that he's Not the Devil and that he's no more threatening than most non-exorcist Angels.

And once Heaven determines the same, he's tasked with Working with Emily to maintain the Happiness of Heaven's residents. Emily keeps an eye on him, but mostly they are both very positive personalities that play off each other well and they become fast friends. The first time he spent the day with Emily was the day of the first Extermination since Lucifer got there. Someone had to watch him while Lute and Adam were away. He doesn't know about the Exterminations (Most of Heaven doesn't so it's no surprise), and he doesn't even know about Hell. It was deemed... For the Best if he was kept in the dark about that. No one knows how he came to be and they don't want to risk anything happening because he finds out about the other version of him.

Lucifer is Very In Love with Adam. It wasn't immediately or anything. At first he was just really happy to have his best friend back, especially when everything was so different from how he remembered it, it'd been thousands of years after all. But he spent most of his time with Adam and anyone could tell you that Adam was less of a crass asshole with Lucifer around. Not by much, but enough to be noticeable. And over that time, Lucifer still saw a lot of who Adam was in Eden but also came to appreciate who he was (No one understands why)

It took a while before Adam was comfortable enough to take off his helmet around Lucifer. Sure he knew his human face, but he'd definitely changed over the years and his insecurities about his face were made Worse when Lucifer only knew him at his Best. Lucifer finally got to see him maskless one night when Adam let him see him before bed. And Lucifer was super smitten. Yes his face was Different, but not in a way Lucifer thought was bad. Adam definitely looked Older and Tired, but he thought it was Endearing instead of put off. After that he would sometimes watch Adam sleep-

Adam for his part is in emotional turmoil. Yes, he was in Love with Lucifer in the Garden. But completely against his better Judgement, his feelings have evolved and he's in love with the King of Hell. He's reluctant to think about Angel Lucifer that way because he represents a simpler and more innocent time and he doesn't want to corrupt that with new feelings.

Lucifer eventually confides in Lute about his feelings and she tells him that 1) Adam isn't into men and 2) He doesn't do committed relationships. It won't end well for him if he tells Adam. Lucifer is hurt but appreciates her honesty. He decides to tell him anyway because it's getting hard to keep it all to himself when he's around him everyday.

Well, the confession goes about the way Lute said it would. Adam tells him he doesn't like dudes and he doesn't hold it against him because who wouldn't want a piece of him? But they're still friends, that won't change. Lucifer already braced for it and it hurts but he accepts that answer. The only thing is, now that its out in the open, his friendly nature is So Much Easier to read as him pining and him being in love. So Adam has to just deal with Lucifer's love being thrown at him every day. The behavior hasn't changed Too Much, but his understanding of it has. But other people of Heaven definitely Know. Its so obvious to them that Lucifer is in Love with Adam. Some people criticize Adam for leading Lucifer along and bad mouth him. Lucifer doesn't like hearing anyone talk poorly about his best friend and will chastise and scold them.

It's finally when some winner/angel tells Lucifer he should get Adam flowers (as a joke, they think it would be funny because Adam doesn't have an ounce of Romance in his whole body) that things change. Lucifer does get him flowers! And he gives them to him when they're alone and Adam has removed his helmet. This is the first time Lucifer has been Proactive about his feelings and Adam doesn't have the cover of his Mask to hide his true reactions, so he can't deny how the gesture affects him. He was really only ever able to keep himself in check about his feelings for Lucifer because Lucifer wasn't Doing anything different. He wasn't Pursuing him. But now? Now he can't deny it anymore. Lucifer asks for a kiss and he gets it.

Bonus:

As an Angel, Lucifer didn't know or understand much about sex. It was meant for Reproduction and Angels reproduce asexually so he had no interest in it. It was a thing for the creatures of Earth to have, not Angels. So he has No Idea it's a recreational thing and despite the fact that he knows Adam and Lute fuck around regularly, he just Really doesn't understand why and they don't explain it either. So after Lucifer and Adam are together, Lucifer wants to understand Better and discovers the fact that it is, in fact, something that can be done Recreationally and its supposed to Feel Good. So, of course, he wants to experience that with his new Boyfriend. Let him learn what all the fuss is about~

#hazbin hotel #adamsapple #guitarduck #angel!lu au #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #adam hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin hotel emily #my art #suggestive #but only at the bonus at the end

[pit-and-the-pen]

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

A/N: Part Two to Requited Love

I know people have been waiting for this. And the poll is still active but I couldn’t wait any longer. There are two endings and this is the unofficial (in terms of my ongoing Sunbeam series) Azriel ending but… just bare with me

Read the other ending Here

Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort , implied smut (not with Az)

WC:4.4 K

divider by @cafekitsune

The next morning I was in Rhys office. He barely even looked up from the paper strewn over his desk before I spoke. 

“I’m going back home.” 

He sighed, leaning back into his chair. His eyes raked over me, “Does this have anything to do with why Azriel was so huffy this morning?” His eyebrow raised and I felt the anger I’d been trying to quell since last night rise its head up like a sleeping dragon.

“Fuck off. Let him be mad if he wants to be mad.” I snapped. 

“Mad isn’t exactly how I would put it,” He paused looking at me. “What happened?” The High Lord questioned. I sighed not having the strength to recount the events from last night. 

“Nothing but the inevitable.” he frowned at my non-answer but didn’t press any harder. 

“I’ll miss you. We all will.” He said finally. I nodded. 

“You all should visit.” Not an I’ll visit. No. If I could avoid it I would never step foot into this miserable court ever again. 

I was gone by mid-morning. Mor had helped me winnow the things I wanted to take with me. What they did with the rest wasn’t any of my concern. Rhys or Feyre had bought it all for me anyways, let them decide what to do with their money. 

Once I had gotten settled into my room, I hugged Mor goodbye and thanked her for her help. She just gave me a tighter hug and told me she would visit soon. 

It was two weeks before I could see Helion.Two weeks of settling back into my court that I loved so dearly. Helion

 He was visiting Dawn court for some trade agreement that needed to be signed. I came by every day, asking if he’d returned you. His second would just silently shake her head at me. And I would stomp back to my room like an angry babe. 

Two weeks of checking before I finally saw her nod her head and I had to stop myself from running into Helions office. I had the control to at least knock on the door but not much else. I quickly shut the door behind me as he called me in. 

“Sunbeam!” He called out when saw my face. “I had hoped the rumors of you moving back home were true.” He walked around the desk and gave me a brisk hug. Very out of character for him. 

“You’re not an easy man to schedule an appointment with, Helion.” I smiled warmly at the High Lord of my court. 

“If you wanted a piece of me, you only had to say the words and I would have come running darling.” There's the flirt I remember. I thought, rolling my eyes.

“But judging by your urgency in requesting a meeting that my second expressed to me, I’m going to assume that’s not what you wanted to see me for.”

My smile dropped as I braced myself for the question I needed to ask him.

“I need you to break a mating bond”

His mouth fell open. For once in my life, Helion was speechless. “I don’t know if I can even do that. Are you sure that’s what you want?” His eyes saw right through me. I threw my head back, a sad laugh bubbling past my lips. 

“Yes. No. Gods I don’t know. I just don’t want it to hurt like this forever.” I felt treacherous tears starting to fall down my face. Helion grabbed my arms gently before I could wipe them away. 

“I know you well enough to know that you don’t run away from hard things.” He held me against his chest as I really started to sob. 

“Helion. Every second that I’m away from him it kills me. I’m over here dying inside over some male who only ever saw me as a second option.” 

“Then he’s an idiot. But the mother still saw fit to make you two mates. Give it some more thought, you’re clearly still not fully decided. I’ll do some research to see if it’s even possible and if you still want to, I’ll be here to help.” I nodded my thanks into his shirt. He takes my head between his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe the tears still streaking down my face. He gives me a gentle kiss on the top of my head before I walk out of the room. 

Helion was powerful, but apparently not powerful enough to break a mating bond. Many had tried but no one had ever successfully achieved it without one or both parties dying. As much as I resented Azriel, I didn’t want to kill him, nor myself to be rid of him. So I would just keep ignoring that little golden feeling in my chest, the feeling that seemed to be growing more everyday. 

I fell into a familiar routine back in the Day Court. I took up my old job as a researcher. My days were spent surrounded by the massive libraries of my home court. People would come to us with questions and it was our job to use the knowledge at our disposal to find them answers. It kept me busy at the very least, but I did have to admit that I love doing it. I felt more useful here than I ever had at the Night Court. Pangs of sadness would rip through me when someone snarked in a way that made me think of Cassian. When someone would smirk and I could only picture Rhysand standing in front of me as he beat me in chess. The art was so beautiful that I longed to show Feyre if only to see that twinkle in eye as she dissected the colors and shading used. 

Worst of all, I truly did miss Azriel. Time had given my anger less of an edge. Thinking of him didn’t hurt the way it once had. Didn’t have me spiraling in on myself until I was nothing more than sobs. I still wasn’t ready to forgive him but I wasn’t angry anymore and that had to count for something right? And it had nothing with the small feelings I would occasionally receive from the other end of the bond. I don’t know if he was consciously doing it or if it was purely because of the depth of the emotions he felt. 

I stopped looking for ways to sever the bond between us. Content with just letting it sit unreturned in my chest for the rest of my very long life. 

Someone calling my name pulled me from my musing. One of the messengers, Dia, smiled brightly up at me. “Hey sunbeam. Helion asked me to deliver this to you.” I took the golden envelope from her. I thanked her and she turned around, leaving me back to my books. 

I slid my finger under the seal and pulled out the letter. He was flirty even in a letter. He had requested that I accompany him to the latest ball he was hosting. Helion, ever the charmer, even placed boxes for me to check yes or no. I giggled to myself at the juvenile nature of it, but checked yes with the quill sitting next to me. 

The ball was just a few days away and I was so excited as dress after dress were brought into my room for me to try on. The one that ended up catching my eye was a floor length glossimer dress, such a pale golden color it looked almost like sunlight itself. The bottom was dyed a light pink color that flowed into it seamlessly. It took my breath away as the last button snapped into place. It fit like a glove and I knew instantly this was the dress I had to wear. 

Facing the mirror, I was blown away by the person standing in front of me. I didn’t recognize her. My hair was pinned up into a flowing updo at the base of my neck. I caught eyes in the mirror and whirled around to see Helion racking his eyes over my figure.

He let out a low whistle and I blushed, adjusting my tiara. I walked over to him and he held out his hand for me, twirling me around dramatically when I took it. “No one will be able to take their eyes off of you, Sunbeam.” His eyes hungirly raked over me, “If you ever reconsider my offer. I would take you to bed in a heartbeat. Just say the words.” I pushed his shoulder, I didn’t doubt his words. 

“Keep your pants on Helion. We have a ball to get to.” 

“I’m High Lord. I can be late.” His pupils had dilated and I rolled my eyes, pushing him out the door before I linked my arm into his. 

The ball was as lavish as I had expected. There was much to celebrate and this was mostly to welcome the new High Lord. Eris. Beron had finally died a few months back and Eris had officially stepped into the role with grace. The autumn court once known for its cruelty seemed to be taking a new direction and as I talked to nobility from the court, it was for the better. I had gotten to know him over the years, his frequent visits to the Night Court, plus a few flirty exchanges that I always brushed off, while he was helping us during the war softened me to him. Learning the true events of that night with Mor. 

I locked eyes with Eris across the room. He had been heartbreakingly handsome when he was just High Fae but as a High Lord? His hair had grown slightly longer, just touching his shoulders. Dressed in a deep maroon suit that showed off every single one of his muscles. The permanent scowl that had been etched into his face had been replaced with a smile that radiated comfort. My feet seemed to move without deciding to. Eris kept his eyes locked onto mine as I got closer. My cheeks heated up under his intense stare. 

“Hi little sunbeam,” Honeyed words wrapped around me. “Seems like you’re no longer hiding in the shadows.” He held out his hand, eyes flickering to the dance floor. I smiled up at him and gently placed my hand in his. 

His touch was firm and the warmth of his power radiated off of him. He clutched my waist, pulling me flush to his front. I felt every plane of his toned body pressed against me and goosebumps broke out across my skin having nothing to do with the temperature in the room. The two of us gilded across the floor. I could feel the eyes of the room on us but I only had eyes for the male in front of me. 

“If I had known you danced this good, I would have pulled you out of that miserable court a long time ago.” He spoke into the shell of my ear.  “I’ll never understand what the Shadowslinger was thinking, even I could smell the mating bond on you. Plus, one look at me with those beautiful doe eyes and I would have been putty in your hands.” He nipped at my earlobe and I felt it deep in my stomach. But I couldn’t help that twinge in my gut that made this feel wrong. Even with all of him pressed up against me. Eris would only have to say the words and any fae in Prythian would be on their knees before them. Even I had to admit he was devastatingly handsome. So I fought against that little voice screaming at me and leaned into his touch more. 

Before I knew what had happened, I felt Eris’ warmth leave me. I shuddered at the new chill in the air. When I looked around, I saw shadows wrapped around my torso, lovingly coiled around my waist. I almost smiled at their weight. 

“Keep your hands off of her.” Azriel growled at the High Lord woh did nothing but smirk at me as I was pulled from the room onto a balcony just outside the ballroom. 

 “You had no right!” I screeched at him, wrenching my arm from his grasp. Anger seethed through me. I felt my palms heat up from the light trying to escape from them. He went to grab my arm and I ripped it back from his reach. “Don’t you fucking dare.” 

“Please.” Was all he said and suddenly it was like that night all over again. Me pouring my heart out and all he could say was please. 

“Please what, Azriel? Is that all you know how to do, beg and plead. For what? Was breaking my heart once not enough for you.” 

“Gods. What do you want me to say?” He ran his hands through his hair. He looked like he was about to lose it. Good. “Do you want to hear how I was fucking terrified. How any good thing that I had ever received had been taken away from me? That when I felt that twinge in my chest, that I knew what it meant but prayed to the gods that it wasn’t that.” I went to start in on him again. “No. Not because of that, because I knew that you were the one person who could utterly destroy me. Mor was a pass time. She was convenient and it would have made sense for us to be together in some capacity. Then Elain showed up. I saw so much of her in you, she was sweet and kind but she wasn’t you. Looking back, I don’t even know why I was so hung up on her. I’m not saying I wasn’t stupid because I was and I said some awful things to you. I said them because I knew that was the only thing that would get you to realize I would never deserve you.” 

“Stop. Just stop. I’m sure you’ve rehearsed this all before but do you actually think I’m stupid enough to believe it?” I spit out between my teeth. 

“No. I don’t think you’re stupid at all. The exact opposite. Yet for some reason you never ended up breaking the bond. Which would have been the smart thing to do. You deserve that, I deserved that.” 

That made me pause. “How did you…Did Helion tell you?” Angry at the idea of Helion running to Azriel with that information. 

“Helion told Rhys who passed it on to me. Rhys explained what would most likely happen if you decided to break it and before he could tell Helion he had lost his mind, I told him if that’s what you wanted to do I would accept that.” He said plainly. A part of me knew he was telling the truth. 

“Don’t be stupid. You would have died if I broke the bond. It wasn’t the same as rejecting it. That type of magic broke the very part of you it formed to.” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth right now. 

“I know. And I figured that if you were in enough pain to take that risk, to risk you dying, then I should be willing to risk it for a situation I had put us both in.” My mind was reeling at his words.

“That night..” I started, he interrupted me.

“I said the most vile things I could think of. I panicked when you told me about the bond. If you could feel it too, I knew nothing good could have come from that so I pushed you away.” I shook my head, as if I could shake his words away from my ears. 

“You seemed so shocked when I told you.” 

His head sunk down, voice small “I was shocked because no part of me believed, believes, that I deserve you in that way.” When he stepped forward, I didn’t step away. Mind too busy catching up with his words. “Please say something. “ 

I turned my eyes up to look at him. Hazel eyes soft sparkling with unshed tears. I wanted to rip into him. I truly did. Some sick part of me wanted to make him hurt like he had hurt me but I know that wouldn’t fix anything here. 

“You don’t get to do this to me. You don’t get to say all the right things and just have me forgive you. You don’t get to say that you love me after everything you did.” He sighed. Leaning his head on top of mine. I frowned at the contact, but didn’t push him away, refusing to melt into him. “Whatever your reason. You said all those things that you knew would hurt me, you said them and some part of you had to believe them.” 

“I know. There isn’t a day that I don’t regret everything that I said, everything I had put you through over all those years. I took you for granted and I didn’t realize how much I loved you until you were gone.” I wanted to push him back but something in me let his words sink into my bones. Because the moment I looked into his eyes I felt the other side of the bond snap into place. I gasped at the feeling I had spent so long ignoring. The bond seemed to sing in the air around us. My own sunlight flickering under my palms as I felt the sincerity of his words pump through the bond. The feeling was foreign but warm. It wrapped around me like a blanket, soothing my tense muscles. I didn’t realize how much the empty bond had been weighing on my shoulders. 

“You know this doesn’t change anything.” Was all I said and as he looked at me again, I knew that was a lie. “We can’t start over. There's no way to take back everything you said, everything you did” I said once I regained my ability to talk. His face sank completely.”I won’t break the bond. But I’m not accepting it either.” I ignored that kernel of hope I felt from him. 

“I’ll wait as long as it takes.” He leaned closer to me, taking my face in his hands. I didn’t fight him as he tilted my head up to meet his eyes. His eyes flickered to my lips but he just pressed a chaste kiss to the top of my head “I would cut off my own wings if you said it would make you happy.” He swore. A shudder racked through at the sincerity in his words. I pushed out of grasp and walked back down to the ball still in full swing. 

--------------------------

A strong pair of arms wrapped tighter around me as I started to rouse from my dreams. I snuggled deeper into the blankets tucked around me and laughed at the hand starting to creep higher up my naked chest. Rolling over I was met with baby blue eyes. Sol smirked at me as I stopped his wandering hands. “Was last night not enough for you?” I joked and he beamed at me. He rolled me over so I was underneath him

“How could I ever get enough of you?” He started kissing a trail down my neck and I groaned as a rush of desire flooded my veins. Ignoring the tug of anger that followed it. I hooked my leg around Sol’s waist and pulled him down to me. 

I smiled as I walked into work, willing the flush in my cheeks to tame itself as I settled amongst the books still sprawled across my desk. 

“Busy morning?” Aurora said, covering her mouth as she tried to hide her smile. 

“Very.” I returned, laughing at her faux scandalized look. 

“I don’t know how you manage to pull yourself away from him. If that was me I would ri-” 

“Aurora!” I chastised her. Smacking her arm playfully. My mind drifted off to the activities this morning. While we weren’t official, it had become a recurring event of Sol and I waking up tangled in my sheets. I was lucky to get out of the door on time those mornings. He kept pushing for something more solid. But some nagging part of me just couldn’t do it. I hated the idea of leading him, and that wasn’t my intention when this all started. He had caught my eye after that conversation with Azriel at the ball and it took one flirty joke before my lips were crashing against his. 

Sol was sweet and kind. He had been patient with me as I sorted out all of my own shit. Never giving me push back when I shut down the conversation of what exactly I wanted from this. Which I truthfully didn’t ever have an answer for. He put up with me pulling him into my bed night after night but I knew eventually he was going to grow tired of this arrangement. My stomach churned at the thought of now spoiled memories of his hands roaming over my body. I sighed, laying my head against my desk. Letting the cool wood calm my nerves. 

It came later than I had expected it, honestly. He was kinder than I deserved for the months I had led him on. His mate. I could laugh at the irony. But I wished him well with one last searing kiss and that was that. I truly did want the best for him, and I knew that wasn’t me. Not at my current state. 

I retreated into myself after that. Maybe there's something wrong with me. It was hard to keep those thoughts at bay. Everyone always found better things than me. Always the second choice. Those words I had spilled to Azriel had  come from the deepest part of my soul. All the cruel things he said to me were replaying in a loop until I felt tears spilling down my face. 

A frantic knock at my door pulled me from my despair. I didn’t even have time to wipe away the tears before I saw Helion standing in my doorway. His face held none of his usual charm. No, standing before me was Helion, not the playboy but the High Lord. 

“It’s Rhys.” That was all he had to say for me to take off sprinting along the halls. Helion could barely keep up with me and I wretched the door to his study open. 

Rhys didn’t so much as look up as I barreled into the office. I reached him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“What's wrong?” And Rhys just broke in front of me. He explained about Feyre’s pregnancy. The wings that would most likely kill her. I felt my stomach drop to my feet.

“How can I help, Rhys?” I saw the pain in his eyes. 

“Just try to find if this has ever been attempted. Or if there's a way to make this safer for her.” Rhys looked like a shell of himself and I knew I would do whatever I had to do to never see him look so broken ever again. I knew what I needed to do as hard as the words were going to be to get out.

“I’ll come back with you.” He looked like I had grown three heads. “Between my research and healing, I’ll be the next best thing after Helion to help Feyre with this. Please. Let me help her survive this.” His eyes welled with tears as he just nodded. 

“I can’t thank you enough.” He wrapped his arms tightly around me. The laugh that left my lips was tense. 

“Thank me once we save her.”

“Of course. It’s the least I can do after you helped me so much.” I placed a hand over his shaking one. 

I didn’t pack much. Most of which was as many books that Helion could bother parting with. All on various topics, Illyrian anatomy, childbirth and healing. I’d been healing since I was a child. With Madja by my side, even if we couldn’t find a way to safely deliver the baby, we could prevent Feyre from bleeding out. 

Rhys came the next morning to winnow me to the Night Court. I said goodbyes for now to my new friends. Helion had given me a tight hug as he thanked me for doing what he could not. 

Feyre greeted me exuberantly, crushing me against her as well as she could at the bump jutting out from her stomach. She was glowing. From the look of her, she didn’t have too much longer to go and I felt lightheaded at the thought of how much research I had to do in not much time. 

I was standing up on the roof, looking out at the lights of Velaris when I felt him behind me. I didn’t turn around as he joined me near the railing. 

“Thank you for being here. Rhys already seems more comfortable, more like himself.” My nod was the only acknowledgement I gave him that I had heard him. He signed and stayed looking out at the skyline. 

“Look...” He started. I cut him off.

“Don’t do this again, Azriel.” There was no anger in my voice this time. Just the voice of something who was so broken, broken because of this man. “We can’t go back and change the past. We can’t start over and you’ll never be able to undo the pain you caused. “

“Let me try. Please. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” His tone was just as raw as mine. And something in me broke. The part that was tired of pretending my feelings went away. I knew deep down in my heart that this was another chance. 

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to love you the way I did before.” I risked a glance over to him and I was blown away by the breathtaking smile that graced his face. 

““I’ll take you any way that you’ll have me” I knew he was telling the truth. It was there under the stars I realized, though it wouldn’t happen over night, loving Azriel would be as easy as breathing.

#acomaf #acosf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel acotar #acowar #azriel x reader #unrequited love #azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel spymaster #yall please dont be mad at me

[sea-lanterns]

imagine if Empress has a hunch that it's Signora's moths keeping her warm and they're not some random moths from nature, so she goes to ask her and Signora is just like "oh..! these moths? they're... rare creatures here... yes it seems like they've taken a liking to you..." but Empress can totally tell she's lying kjsdjsks

D’awwww Signora secretly cares for the Empress… 🥺

She can insult her all she wants, but the Empress will eventually figure out that the moths are Signora’s creation and that Signora conjured them up out of worry. Not even the cold, ice-hearted crimson witch is immune to the charms of the cute Empress, as she’d secretly be keeping an eye on you throughout your travels.

Sometimes, when the Empress is asleep in her own special guest room, Signora would watch over her sleeping body using a moth as a little nightlight. It brings Signora comfort to know that the little Empress is safe and sound with the warmth of her flame moth to keep her company. If Arlecchino is sleeping with the Empress in her bed though, she’d peek one eye open at the moth and swat it away if it gets too close to the bed 😅

While you’re asleep, Arlecchino is just swatting away a bunch of moths while Signora is taunting her.

#🫧feeding the fishes #empress au

[oddballwriter]

The Baby Dream

Summary: You tend to have "the baby dream" every once in a while, but you never really mentioned it to your boyfriend Marc let alone had a conversation about having a baby with him in general. You tell him about the one you just had this time.

Warnings: not really anything real to warn about other than the reader's character feels a little sad when they find out that their baby was only something in their dream. Implied afab reader and implied that they breastfeed their baby. 

Author’s Snip: I have a mix of baby fever and recently had a baby dream of my own so I decided to use that as a prompt.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Word Count: 618

Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction (you too can join my tag list, just ask)

The sound of a small soft grunt and whine wakes you right up. The morning sun breaches through the bedroom curtains and gives the room a soft lighting that makes the room visible without burning your still sleepy eyes. You look around for a bit, finding Marc still asleep and snoring softly. You sit up in bed and find the source of the noise, seeing a crib in the corner of the room along the wall.

Oh, looks like Mel's awake. Who's Mel? You and Marc's baby daughter of course!

You get up, careful not to wake Marc since he dealt with her waking up and crying in the middle of the night. Walking over to her crib, you look down and see her look back at you with her cute little eyes. They look just like the boys', all big and doe-like.

You scoop her up and out of her crib and cradle her in your arms. You feel her weight in your arms along with her squirming slightly to get comfortable.

"Good morning," you softly coo, "How'd you sleep? Huh?" you ask her. Of course, she can't answer, but judging that she didn't wake up crying like she usually does when she's had trouble sleeping, she slept just fine. Mel's tiny hands grip your pajama shirt. "I see we want breakfast now," you comment in response to her grabbing.

You walk back to the bed so that you can be comfortable while you feed her, but when you're supposed feel yourself sit, you wake up.

The room looks just the same, say for the fact that Marc is in the act of getting up out of bed this time. "Oh shit, sorry, hun. Did I wake you up?" Marc asks. You shake your head and carefully sit up and look towards the corner where Mel's crib was, but there's nothing there. No crib or baby...

Right. You don't have a baby together. It was just another baby dream that you have occasionally. You feel a bit of weight in your chest at the fact that you and Marc's baby girl wasn't real. Even though she only existed in your dream for a moment it felt so real. Like you actually had her and took care of her.

You realize that you're starting to tear up and shake off the feeling. "Sorry, I just had a dream," you explain. "Do you want to talk about it?" Marc gently asks. You take a moment and then a breath. "We had a baby," you say, "That was it. We had a baby together and I woke up to her waking up and I held her for a bit before I actually woke up." you explain further. "It's a normal thing. I have dreams where I have a baby from time to time." you mention.

Marc just look at you for a second. You look towards him to see what has him so quiet. He has that look on his face when he's thinking about something and trying to choose his words. You let him do his thinking before he finally speaks. "Do... you want a baby?" he asks.

"Yes?" you say, unsure yourself. "I don't know. It's sort of a hormone thing, like baby fever," you say. "We've never really had that talk before, I know. So I don't know if you want to have kids," you mention. "Okay, but do you want to have kids someday?" Marc rephrases his question. "Yeah. I'd like to have a family with you someday when we're ready." you answer.

Marc nods. "Yeah..." he says, "I think that would be a good conversation to have sometime soon." he adds with a slight smile.

#moon knight x reader #moonknight x reader #marc spector x reader #marc spector #moon knight #moonknight

[nunalastor]

OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY DOOMED YAOI ASKS IN HERE?????

So... I'm just going to add onto my secret marriage au to lighten things up!

Charlie thought Alastor was strange. It was the way he immediately warmed up to her despite it being less than a day of meeting, how he knew quite a few of her habits that she'd somehow picked up from her father and the ring on his finger.

Well, the ring itself wasn't strange, but it obviously meant he either got married in the seven years he'd disappeared or he doesn't know what wearing a ring on that exact finger meant. Both of those options were very unlikely.

But those suspicions grew, especially when her father decided to visit the hotel for the first time in years and he spent a few seconds just staring at her and Alastor. They even seemed to communicate just by staring at each other – it was even similar to how she'd done with Vaggie multiple times.

She'd even caught that their rings looked similar too. And how her father would seem irritated when Angel would make half-hearted attempts to bed Alastor. Hell, both of them also disappeared at the same time near midnight for no reason!

It was unsettling, especially when she expected her father to be downcast, reminiscing about her mother while staring at a duck he'd made in her memory. She was happy that he didn't seem depressed, but why was he so happy?

She didn't like the way they'd both seem so familiar with each other in the mornings, tiredly going to the kitchen together where Alastor would cook both of them some pancakes, while making it the exact way her father liked. The way her father would make both of them coffee, and they didn't have any single petty spat during this. The way they were suspiciously... Domestic.

It was even worse when she'd hear them slip up, calling the other by a pet name which was too fond to call a mistake. When she'd see Alastor's shadow almost leaning in to kiss her father on the cheek – if not for it being caught by Alastor and scolded heavily in private.

She both wanted to stop this, and let it happen. She wanted her old family, but she liked the new one. And she knew what was happening, she just needed to confirm it. So one night, she looked for them.

They'd both disappeared as usual, so she began to scour the hotel and look for them. Her father's room was empty, spotless, too. And it was strange since his rooms always had some sort of... Messiness, to it. The sort that was impossible to clean.

So she looked at Alastor's room, and reluctantly opened the door. And she saw it.

No, it was not Alastor feasting on a dead father or anything gruesome. It was surprisingly cute.

She saw both of them asleep in a bed, hugging each other closely and their guards were down. And they hadn't even noticed her.

Alastor seemed to be dead, had it not been for the occasional rise of his chest and Lucifer was somewhat all over the place – he'd pull Alastor closer suddenly, or loosen his grip.

It took her some time to process it all, but she'd soon left them alone to their sleep. It wouldn't be good to interrupt their comfort.

(And yes, Alastor doesn't usually sleep. He'd just hug Lucifer the whole night while awake but sometimes he'd fall asleep. This was one of those sometimes.)

👀

#hazbin hotel #alastor #nunalastor asks #radioapple #lucifer #secret marriage

[rowretro]

Yandere!demon! heeseung x human! Reader( Please?)

TOOTHPASTE MOJITO

✧warnings: Yandere/toxic themes, kidnapping, marriage, blood, violence, explicit stuff mentioned, somewhat sexual(?), alcohol consumption

��synopsis: Heeseung, a demon of many demons that roams earth, bored. His eyes then land on y/n. The girl who was disgusted by her raspberry mojito, and proceeded to order more mojitos. That's when Y/n saw hell....

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

Heeseung smirked, his hands stained with blood, as he stared at the limp body before him. Another day another slay, demon edition. He literally slays them. Could you blame him? I mean what did the drunkard expect? trying to steal his wallet. He didn't stand a chance. Heeseung groaned as he went to his mansion, maids slipping off his coat and placing his shoes aside, as he walked in. The man's rich, anything he wants he gets, money, shoes, cars anything.

But he was missing one thing... a wife. Sure he'd sleep with some girls now and then when he's bored, but none of that satisfies his loving for love. True love, the kind of love one'd find in any movie, a shoulder to lie on, a person to turn to and feel comfortable. The man checked himself out in the mirror, a branded leather jacket worn over his black button down shirt, and trousers to match it. He slipped on a Rolex of the many he owned, followed by some jewellery.

The man walked into the party, fitting in as Jay threw an arm over him "Thought you'd never come, I assume you're here for the girls?" Jay asked as Heeseung snickerred "not this time- I got some time off of work so I decided to drop in... where's the bar?" He asked as Jay pointed it out. The man sat down at the stool, beside him, he could see the back of a girl, her dark hair somewhat covering her bare back, she was dressed is a shimmering, short black dress.

So far she seemed like a hottie to him. "Ack- disgusting... It tastes like grass-" she complained turning around to the bartender. Heeseung got a the full view of her face. Fuck was she beautiful. Her eye makeup really did suit her, purple glitter reflecting blue, lips so plump and kissable, her nose slightly big, but really added a stunning touch to her pretty face. "Can I get a mojito with Ice... make it really minty" she said as Heeseung frowned at her.

As the bartender walked off to prepare her drink, Heeseung turned to face her "Minty mojito?... that'd taste like toothpaste in alcohol- its already minty as is why ad more?" He questioned as she giggled "Toothpaste mojito.... not a mint lover huh?" she asked then she froze "Wow... Jay knows so many attractive men but damn." she added quite boldly. "He seems to know very pretty girls... none as pretty as you though, can't believe he gatekept you from me... Heeseung." He introduced himself. "Y/n.... " she said with a smile

If only she knew there and then that he's a goddamn demon. Literally. She thought she was just drunk, one second she was at the party, the next in a luxorious bedroom with a fine man. That morning she realized, the man did the impossible, he literally teleported her. She saw him really murder a man. She looked under the blanket. No sign of pain, hickeys or anything, she smelled nice, dressed in a man's jumper, presumably Heeseungs.

Oh how stupid she felt. Thinking it'd be easy to sneak out of a demon's home without being caught. Acting cool, walking out as the guards assumed she was just some slut he slept with. "Where do you think you're going sweetheart?" he asked, her back against the wall, as his body trapped her. "uh... home? I need to feed my bunny" she excused as he just laughed.

"Oh baby how drunk were you?... you ARE home... and I fed your bunny see? *he said with a smirk pointing at the little white rabbit that rested comfortably in a more spacious cage". It was too much to process. did she move in with him? did something happen? are they in a relationship? "yes, I guess, and Yes.." he answerred without missing a beat, red eyes staring into hers. "Did I say that out loud?..." she asked as he smirked.

"As you can see darling, I'm a demon, I know everything you think about. When I first laid my eyes on you... thought I'd just let you stay in my bed one night.... then you talked to me and fuck." He groaned, holding her heart at his chest "feel that?! Im in fucking love with you baby, I fucking wanted you... no I fucking needed you. so here you are." He said with a smirk "You're crazy. Im not into you Heeseung. You can't just kidnap me, and my bunny and say im you're in love with me. Im leaving." She claimed confidentally

"That's where you're wrong. You're mine, you're not going anywhere and you won't need to, everything you need is in this mansion. If I want something sweetie.. I get it. How about you think twice before your decision, sure you wouldn't want to anger a demon... I KNOW you're smarter than that." He simply said. He's right. Only an idiot would do such a thing, she really had no choice... She was in hell and there's no going back....

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

(so sorry to all my readers, Ill try work on the series's too, yes my blog is wet now- its no longer a dry desert)

#yandere kpop #yandere enhypen #kpop yandere #enha x reader #lee heeseung #park jongseong #park sunghoon #jake sim #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #yandere drabble #yandere sunghoon #enha scenarios #enha imagines #enha yandere #sunghoon enhypen #sunghoon x reader #heeseung #enhypen heeseung #heeseung enhypen #heeseung ff #heeseung x reader #heeseung yandere #enha heeseung #enhypen #yandere #enhypen yandere #yandere enha #yandere male

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting to spend a night out with a guy?

I'm twenty, study in university and still live with my parents. I've been planning to move out since I was eighteen, but they told me to keep living at home and not get a job so I could focus on studying while they take care of me financially. This arrangement has worked mostly well in the past years save for a few small conflicts, but it's escalated in the past 3-4 months.

The issue is my time schedule. I have a very active social life, am active in the local art scene, do political work and a lot of extracurricular stuff for university (I'm a straight A student, I might add!). Because of this, and because I'm a natural night owl, I usually come home late several days a week (between 10pm and 2am) and stay out all day for most of the week. This means I can't do a lot of chores, and usually there's a lot of housework because my mum has a bit of a cleaning anxiety and wants to make sure everything is spotless 24/7.

Enter this guy, I'll call him Tim. I met him at a festival last summer and we became long distance friends. Tim has visited me for a day several times before, but this weekend he offered to come over for two days and we agreed to spend the night stargazing together without sleeping. I loved the idea and immediately said yes. It was gonna be just us, a couple energy drinks, and some bench in the city center, and I was really looking forward to it.

The thing is, my mum does not like Tim. Like, at all. She thinks he seems very sleazy and generally distrusts him because he feels "too nice" for her. Mind you, he's just a somewhat shady looking guy who is generally pretty anxious he might make a bad impression, so he overperforms the whole "respectable member of society" act a bit around new people. I've introduced him to my friend group and even the more sceptical people absolutely love him and think he's a very sweet, helpful person. In basically every stressful situation I've ever seen him in he's been deescalating, protective and helpful, and he has on several occasions been my first source of comfort when things went to hell.

Today I told my mum in an offhanded comment that I won't come home between Sunday and Monday and the situation escalated completely. She was crying, accusing me of ruining her month, saying I didn't care about this family, it got ugly. The main point she had was that I was staying out all night with someone who's a total stranger to her and she doesn't trust him at all. In the end we compromised that Tim and I would spend the night awake, but not in the city, at home.

I feel really humiliated by this whole situation and honestly, kind of betrayed, because I was promised stuff like this wouldn't happen, and it just hits in a much safer situation than ones I've been in before (I used to get blackout drunk and sleep at parties a lot.). I'm a legal adult, have been for years now and it's so disappointing that my parents still treat me like a child sometimes and are so judgy towards my friends too. At the same time, I'm wondering whether I've acted wrong too by not telling her about this earlier and not taking her concerns that seriously. I forget sometimes that I talk to Tim every day for hours, but my parents only briefly ran into him once, so of course their view of him is skewed.

PS: I should add that when I told him about this, he immediately apologized, asked if I needed anything or wanted to change the plan and decided to dig out the least offensive outfit he could find so he'd make a good impression on my parents. So he's definitely trying his best.

#am i the asshole #aita

[avalikesf19]

A Day at quadrant: LN4 (Part 2)

Author note: I don’t even know how to post anything on this and never wrote a fic but I hope this is good but I think it’s pretty shit and I haven’t finished it yet and if any writers want to use this idea you can for sure just @ me please oh and if you have feedback please let me know thanks xx

Also i tried to change my like writing style thing cause i feel like it was shit last time but yeah idk

Lando x quadrant fem reader

Blurb: reader is a member of quadrant, she games most of the time but also likes f1 along with her best friend Ria bish. She is friends with all members at quadrant and finds it a good laugh with all her mates, but maybe her view of someone in particular is more than a mate..

Warnings: sexualising, swearing, mention of a gun, leaked tape, sad distraught reader, friends to maybe lovers if I make it a series? Smut-ish? If I missed any let me know (I don’t know how to do warnings sorry x)

Well wasn't last week a fucking eventful week. You still cant stop thinking about Lando right next to you comforting you about what happened. You're starting to feel better about the whole issue and get some support from people online and all the other members of quadrant, but fuck that was just shit. You haven't been in any quadrant videos since, but you're in a better place now and probably need to start participating in them more.

Lando and ethan make the idea of quadrant meeting up at landos apartment and trying to train like him for a day. You aren't exactly looking foward to it but oh well, at least Ria is going. You text your gc back and tell them that you will do it too. Then, you get a message.

Lando: are you 100% sure ur okay to come back and film already? you dont have to if you dont want to.

Y/n: yep. I need to get in more videos and im feeling better anyways, thanks for asking.

Lando: all good

Well that was polite and unexpected of Lando to reach out, but whats more unexpected is for your panties to be soaked right now over 2 text messages. well fuck, oopsies.

That night all you can think of is Lando, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he was circling around your head like it was an f1 race. You decide to get your head out of it and call Ria to come over and have a chat, since she is your best friend after all. Shortly she pulls up to your apartment in Monaco, funning in bursting of excitement to see you.

"RIAAAAAAA!" you shout when you open the door for her. "Y/NNNN" she replied back. You give her a hug and make her a cup of coffee just how she likes it. You guys sit and chat about the f1 grand prix in Bahrain coming up, and how you hope Lando continues to have a good season with Oscar this year. "Did you see the chat about the new yt vid we doing" You ask Ria. "omg yes and they are bringing angry ginge in I heard" Ria replies back.

"STOP IT" you yell back laughing. You love ginge and his videos, who wouldn't? he's a very very funny bloke. "OMG i''m definitely coming tomorrow then to the recording are you kidding?".

Unfortunately time goes by when you're having fun, and Ria was the most fun, so she had to go a few hours later which felt like minutes. Besides you both need sleep for the youtube vid you're filming tmr at Lando's. You go to bed and try to sleep as much as you can, which didnt happen lol.

rise and shine love. It's already 6am and time to go to Lando's place to film. Normally you don't have to wakeup early as fuck but for the purpose of the video and "being Lando Norris" you had no choice. You get to his apartment after parking at the front and knock on the door, to which he opens. "hi y/n" he says nicely and gives you a hug. "So good to see you Lando, where is everyone?".

"first here mate" he says almost excitedly. "so what are we actually doing today like playing video games or some shit" you say. "haha your funny mate, we are lifting weights, eating what i eat, using the sim, and neck strengthening" he says laughing at you. "fuck r u taking the piss" you say laughing. "oh my days Landoooo do I look like an f1 driver" you also reply with. "well yeah thats the whole point of the video ya dumb fuck" he replied jokingly.

"hahaha get fucked lando nowins" you snap back. he laughs as you proceed to miss the chair you went to lean on making you flinch and stumble looking like an idiot. he is still laughing which makes you laugh too. "Lando norizz" u reply. "haha you think I have no rizz, funny" he replies egotistically. "yeah i do actually" you don't at all, in fact he hasn't even tried yet he has rizzed you up. "wanna bet?" he snaps out.

you don't have time to think before he pins you against the wall and just looks at you with those hot eyes of his. you can already feel your cheeks burning and your thong getting wet. "you say I have no rizz yet your cheeks are burning, and I bet those panties are more soaked than that porridge you tipped over the counter when you stumbled at my gaze, huh?" he grunts out.

what the fuck just happened, first how did he know and secondly did he just pin you against the wall. not the first time you want that to happen. you know what fuck it if we wants to be like that then he may as well be uncomfortable the whole video.

"how did you know about my tight, black lacy thong i'm wearing over my tight pussy hey? not your first time thinking about it aye?" you tease him, but whole walking over to him you see him looking uneasy.

why? because ginge was at the fucking door and heard that, and can see Lando's boner from a mile away. "well bonjour" ginge says laughing. "bonjour mate" lando says as he daps up ginge covering his boner and trying to ignore what just happened.

You already know this video is gonna be the longest set of your life..

sorry its a short one x

#lando norris #formula 1 #quadrant #ln4 #f1 fanfic #ln4 x reader #lando fic

[phantoms-planet]

Barred Protection Chapter Five

This one is short, I am sick of writing in this chapter and just want to get to the next part so I'm saving us all a several months long writers block and posting it "unfinished" instead. It's also unedited. This chapter is the definition of Started Making It, Had a Breakdown, Bon Appetite. Hope it's enjoyable anyway.

No tw besides medical settings.

Ao3

First | Previous | Next

---

Tim didn’t like being used as a prop to get Bruce into Ameliorate, he didn’t like being poked and prodded for over an hour by Percy Daelus while Bruce sweet talked the man, and he most definitely didn’t like the results from the analysis that he had just finished on the medication he’d been prescribed.

Most of the contents made sense but there was one chemical that wasn’t like anything in their system. And they had a lot of chemicals in their system.

“Tim?” He flipped around to see Duke trotting to him. “We got the stuff you asked for.”

Tim took the bag he offered with a short nod before turning back to the table and riffling through it. When he realized there was an unknown ingredient, he asked Duke and Damian to get him different medicines and cure-alls from the company, any they could get their hands on. If this strange chemical was in one of them, it very well could have been in more.

He tried to ignore Duke hovering as he prepared the machine for another round. Damian had taken perch on a chair to the side. “Tt, are you certain there is an unknown-?”

“Yes.” Tim snapped. “I tested it six times.”

“Maybe the machine is wrong?” Duke sounded hesitant to suggest it. Tim stopped what he was doing to turn to him with an unimpressed, flat expression. “Or…you know, maybe not.”

---

Daelus listened carefully to the child’s heart, struggling to hear it past the labored breathing. Thankfully it seemed healthy. When he pulled away and slid the stethoscope back around his neck the young boy’s mother was watching him closely.

He offered her a gentle smile. “Don’t worry, the cold is minor. It’s nothing we can’t handle for sure.” The relief that washed over her face was more rewarding than anything else in the world. “I’ll have the nurse prepare your first dose, and then you can pick up the rest of the medication at the front pharmacy, alright?”

“Thank you.” The mother slumped back in her chair. He understood why she would be so scared for her baby. Not even a year old and the poor thing was sick as a dog.

He left the room as quietly as possible while flagging down his current nurse. Once she had been filled in Daelus made his way to his personal office.

Normally on clinic days he would spend the whole ten or so hours seeing as many patients as possible but today was a special case; he had another meeting with Bruce Wayne. After meeting Tim (who was remarkably healthy for missing a spleen, if quite sleep deprived) Mr. Wayne seemed much more comfortable with Daelus.

That in and of itself was a massive relief. With one of the world’s favorite billionaires on its side, Amiliorite could finally start stage three of operations. Moving global would be hard without support from a well-liked celebrity, and Daelus much preferred when things ran smoothly.

There wasn’t much time to clean up before one of his front desk workers opened the door. Daelus went to greet Bruce with a smile. One that didn’t get returned.

“I have concerns.”

Daelus furrowed his brows. “Is there an issue with Tim’s medicine? I was certain we’d prescribed-“

Bruce, normally jovial and frankly ditzy, was looking far more serious than Daelus was familiar with. “I had my scientists look at your medications. There’s something in them that they can’t identify.”

In giving Bruce permission to test the medications Daelus knew there was a chance that subject P’s tears could be isolated. He simply hadn’t thought it would happen. Inwardly he cursed himself for not expecting the Wayne Enterprises scientists to be able to figure it out.

“Oh that,” Daelus tried another smile. “That’s nothing to worry about. My people did rigorous testing to ensure-“

“What is it?”

“What is the substance?” Daelus asked.

“Yes.” Bruce said, tone sharp and cold.

“Ah, well we refer to it as Healosol.” He pronounced the word like ‘heal us all’, slow and deliberate, hoping the name would ease some of Bruce’s worries. “My scientists synthesized it themselves. It took years to develop and years more to test. We’ve ensured that it is entirely safe for human consumption. Not just safe, actually, but wholly beneficial!”

Unfortunately Bruce didn’t seem quite as comforted as Daelus had hoped. His coldness was replaced with a thoughtful edge that made him more than a little nervous. If Bruce vocally opposed the company, it would be disastrous.

It had taken most of his adult life to get the company up off the ground and especially in Gotham the process was nowhere near easy.

Dealus had forgone personal relationships to further Ameliorate. His physical health would be tanked if it weren’t for the medicines that he made for his own use. He slept in one of his offices practically every night, barely entering his own apartment. Everything he had was thrown into making it work. If it didn’t work-

Anxiety tangled through his ribcage. They had helped so many people in Gotham and the neighboring cities already but he didn’t want to stop there. How many people in the world were sick, dying, wallowing?

They could save so much more. Subject P was producing enough to help entire countries! But no one would want their aid if one of the most influential men in the world scorned their product.

Before he could calm the storm of frantic thoughts Dealus blurted out, “What if I gave you a tour of the synthesizing facility?”

His heart jack knifed but he couldn’t take the words back. That facility was where Subject P was held! If the tour went in the wrong area-

“I would like that. Would I be able to speak with your scientists?” Bruce’s demeanor had softened significantly, even with the tension still in his shoulders.

Mr. Wayne was known to take in young children in dire situations. With subject P’s chosen form he would pull at anyone’s hearts who didn’t understand what was happening.

“Of course! I’ll have them prepare material for you to look over. So long as it doesn’t get spread everywhere, of course. I trust you not to steal our company secrets.” The last sentence sounded more hesitant. Daelus nearly flinched. It was supposed to have sounded like a jest.

Bruce finally smiled again. “Of course not. But if what I see is good, I hope a partnership might be on the table?”

A partnership? With Wayne Enterprises?! All of Dealus’s anxieties washed away. With THE Wayne Enterprises on their side they could take the world by storm, faster than just having Bruce endorse the product himself.

“That would be fantastic, Mr. Wayne! Shall we have the tour this Saturday? I can arrange transportation for you.”

After getting all the details hashed out, Daelus led Bruce back to the front desk. A warm goodbye later and he was back in his office making a call.

“Sir?”

“Carter, we need to make preparations. Mr. Wayne will be touring Facility Zero on Saturday.”

There was a pregnant pause. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, sir?”

“Of course I am.” Daelus grabbed a pen from his cup and started clicking it open and closed. “Think about the doors this will open!”

“But if he finds the subject this whole thing is going to get shut down.”

Daelus knew he should feel concerned about that, but he couldn’t quite find it in himself to worry when the chance of a lifetime was sitting right in his lap. “He won’t find it, and you are going to help make sure of that.”

A tired sigh came through the speaker. “Yes sir. What do you need me to do?”

#dc x dp #dp x dc #my writing #ao3 fanfic #dpxdc #barred protection

[booboodaddysblog]

Promise

Warnings: alcohol, therapy with a psychologist, self-pity, bad mood

Words: 2823

———

Hour after hour passed, day after day, week after week. He didn't even realize when almost an entire month flew before his eyes. Almost a month when he last saw Marg and talked to her.

He wasn't doing very well. He was sleeping badly, eating badly... Even work wasn't going well for him, but he was going to work. He didn't want to sit at home. He didn't give up like the previous time he betrayed her. Now he was trying to be stronger, but...

- Colin! Why do I smell alcohol from you again?! - Mare pulled over and stopped the car halfway to the place they were just about to search.

Colin looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. He lowered his head, looking at his hands.

- I don't know...

- What do you mean you don't know?! Is this about Marg? - she said a little softly.

- Yes... - he closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

- I know you screwed something up, but I don't know all the details. You know I don't like to gossip. I know everyone around me is talking about it, but I haven't been focusing on it.

- I don't think I'm really coping...

- How often do you drink?

- Usually only in the evenings... after work… - he finally dared to look at her.

- At home or in a bar? - Mare wanted to know every detail.

- The bar and the house. Does it matter? - he raised his eyebrows.

- How much do you drink a day?

- Mare... I really... okay… beer... about four... hmm... - he sighed again - I also drink whiskey... three glasses... usually... - he whispered.

- Oh fucking Christ, Colin! You have a fucking problem! How long have you been drinking like this?! - Mare shouted at him again.

- Hmm... about a month... - he looked out the window, he didn't want to look at her anymore. Perfectly aware that in this way he shows that he is weak.

- Today you will meet with my psychologist. If not... I will inform our chief that you can no longer work with us. You will probably return to your previous workplace. Unless you are fired - she threatened him with her finger - yes... this is a threat and a warning at the same time, Colin! - Mare started the car again - let’s go back to work!

Colin looked at her with terrified eyes. Talking to a psychologist was the worst solution to this problem. He was afraid of psychologists. The only plus was that it wouldn't be their police psychologist. At least his problem would remain a secret... for a while.

——-

It was time to meet with a psychologist. Colin's thoughts were racing in his head and he felt sick. He felt dizzy. He sat in the waiting area outside the office and felt like he was about to throw up. He quickly walked over to the water dispenser and poured a full cup. He drank it all. He was breathing heavily while leaning his back against the wall.

- Mr. Zabel? - the psychologist lady looked out of the office to invite another patient inside.

- It's me, here I am… - Colin said nervously, pushing away from the wall. He pulled a tissue from his pocket and wiped his sweaty forehead with it. He followed her into the office.

- Please sit on the couch and relax. You can also lie down. As you are more comfortable - she sat down opposite him in an armchair.

Colin looked at her confused. Finally, he sat down on the couch. He tried to calm himself down. "I can do it, I can do it," he repeated in his mind.

- Now that you are comfortably seated. Let me start by saying that my patient Mare, has arranged for you to see me, because she is worried about you - she corrected the glasses on her nose and opened her notebook.

- Yes? I think so... I guess so… - he replied uncertainly.

- What is your problem that someone has started to worry about you, Mr. Zabel? - she clicked a pen to start taking notes.

At this sound Colin jumped up slightly on the couch. He was so focused on his thoughts that such a sound had a bad effect on him.

- I...

- Please do not be afraid. Everything we talk about here will stay just between us. I want to help you. Please, allow me to do so.

Colin silently nodded slightly in confirmation.

- Hmm... I... have been drinking too much lately - he focused his attention on his fingers.

- Can I know why?

- I can't cope with private problems. Too much going on at one time - he sighed deeply and forced himself to look at her.

- I understand. What's the problem? - she began to write something in her notebook.

- My girlfriend is pregnant, I mean fiancée... it's almost two months and... - he slightly raised himself on the couch trying to see what she was writing down - What are you writing there?

- Please sit down and don't look. These are my private notes, which will make it easier for me to understand you. But I can't show them to you - she pressed the notebook to her chest so he couldn't look.

- Aha… - he furrowed his forehead and sat down on the couch again. He reached for the water decanter and poured water.

- In that case, please tell me why you are not coping with the fact that you will soon be a father? - she put a pen to her lips, looking at him and waiting for an answer.

Colin noticed this and focused his gaze on her lips.

- Sir? Mr. Zabel? - she snapped her fingers in front of his eyes.

- Oh, sorry - he swallowed his saliva loudly - well... hmm... why? It's just that I've always been used to the freedom in life to... it scares me that I can't afford this child. I can't afford to get married. I can't afford a bigger house. I'm not even ready to tell my mother that she's going to become a grandmother - he said it quickly and wasn't sure she understood everything.

She stared at him for a moment before speaking again.

- Hmm... Mr. Zabel... it's really... hmm... to be honest you are not the only man in this world who has such a problem. Everyone tries to deal with it differently. Some escape into sports, others into work... and still others into alcohol - she shook her head with dissatisfaction - you chose the worst solution. And you know it very well.

He looked at his hands again. He drew in air loudly and let it out through his mouth.

- Yes, that's right... this... I wish I could stop drinking. Or rather, I would like to be able to deal with problems differently.

- I see that you are an athletic man. How about the gym? Do you go to the gym? - she raised an eyebrow with curiosity.

- No... I don't have time for that. I usually run in the morning and sometimes do a workout at home. I get home very late. I don't have time to go to the gym.

- I understand... maybe sometimes... I have an idea. Maybe you will start keeping a diary. You will describe in it all the things you are afraid of and can't cope with. Then you'll read it and start thinking about whether it makes sense and whether you can do something about it - she noted something in her notebook - I think it's a good idea. I don't want you to come to me without meaning to. I know that you can cope with the current situation. Everyone struggles with this. Not only men. Believe me. When too much happens in our lives at one time, you can go crazy. A person starts having doubts and thinking too much - she got up from her chair and walked to her desk. She reached for her business card and handed it to Colin - please, take this and use it only when you really can't handle your thoughts - she smiled at him.

Colin took the business card from her and looked at it silently.

- Please also promise me that you will stop drinking. You are a young and handsome man. Please don't waste your life over such foolishness as alcohol. You may lose your family and your job. I'm sure you don't want that.

He got up from the couch and sighed.

- You calmed me down a bit. I mean you didn't calm me down. You made me realize that I have a chance to somehow cope with such big changes in my life - he extended his hand to her to thank her.

- I believe in you. And believe me, women really don't like it when they smell alcohol from a man - she also extended her hand to him.

They shook hands while smiling gently at each other. Colin nodded his head confirming that her words had reached him.

- How much do I owe? - he reached into his pocket for his wallet.

- No... no. Please, put it back. I don't want anything from you. This was a meeting on the basis of getting to know you and your thoughts. Mare asked me to simply unlock you... unlock your thoughts. You were locked up - she smiled - you were only here for half an hour and I can already see that you are more relaxed. That was the plan for this meeting - she went to the door to open it for him - please take care of yourself and don't do stupid things. Because through foolishness you can lose the trust of everyone around you.

- You are right. I'm going to the store to buy a notebook and I'll write down my thoughts, or at least I'll try - he left the office - thank you and goodbye, or rather, I hope not to see you again.

- Goodbye, Mr. Zabel - she closed the door behind him.

He left the building and headed toward the store. He went inside and moved toward the stationery aisle. He selected a notebook and paid for it.

He was about to order a cab to go home when a restaurant caught his eye. He glanced at his watch.

- It's only 8 p.m. Last drink. I'm done with it tomorrow. Definitely - he moved towards the restaurant.

He went inside and sat down at the bar. Next to him on the countertop he put a notebook and his phone on it.

- What can I get you? - asked the bartender.

- Whiskey, thanks - he pulled a few bills from his wallet, placed them on the bar and moved them toward the bartender.

The bartender handed him a glass of amber liquid. He reached for it and looked at its contents.

- One last time - he said to himself and took a sip.

Colin didn't just drink one glass...he drank three. He was barely sitting on the bar stool. Lately, such an amount doesn't affect him so badly. The bartender refused to pour him another shot of alcohol.

He leaned his elbows on the countertop and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply and slowly. Suddenly he felt a touch on his shoulder. It was light and gentle. He wasn't sure if he thought it was delusion or if it was really happening.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. He felt like he was dreaming.

Marg was here with Roby. They had come to the restaurant for dinner. They were about to sit down at a table when Marg noticed Colin sitting at the bar. He didn't look good. He looked drunk and sad. He was alone. She walked up to him and touched his arm.

- Colin? Baby? What are you doing here? Are you all right? - she sat down next to him, waiting for an answer.

He looked at her with misty eyes. The fact that she was here and approached him as if nothing had happened between them really amazed him.

He rubbed his eyes to sober up slightly. But it didn't help much. Alcohol was raging through his veins. He tried to look at her with the most sober expression he could get right now.

- I just... just had to have a drink - he said slightly confused. Not wanting to go into the details of his mental state right now.

She looked at him with sad eyes.

- You know very well that you shouldn't drink - she grabbed his hand and squeezed it - Were you at work today?

He really didn't expect her to show him any affection now. He had the impression that she had been more frigid towards him at first, but now she was actually nice. But that touch… It was almost as if she had already missed him. Or maybe it just seemed that way to him. It was impossible for things to go back to normal.

- Yes, I was working today... - he said, nodding slightly.

She smiled slightly at him. But in truth, she was sad to see Colin in such a state. She thought he was over it.

- Colin? I have a request. Could you order a cab and go home? Tomorrow morning you have to get up for work. Please don't drink. That doesn't help at all, and only makes things worse. You will feel bad. Believe me. And remember, I didn't leave you, we just have a small crisis. Everything will be fine. I love you...

- But… - he fell silent for a moment.

He was really surprised to hear these words. And the fact that she was still worried about him was also nice. He felt that maybe the situation really wasn't as hopeless as he thought it was.

- Okay, I'll do it... - he was even able to smile a little more after she said those tender words. She was right, he needed sleep, but he knew he would definitely wake up with a hangover.

- In that case, I'll see you at work tomorrow. I've been to the doctor today, he gave me permission to work because I feel better - she kissed him on the cheek - shall we have lunch together tomorrow during the break at work? - she whispered in his ear.

He smiled and felt warm at heart. He really liked the idea. He missed her so much. But he didn't want to show it to her.

- I would like to have lunch together tomorrow, yes... it would be nice to talk to you again... - he said in a slightly trembling voice.

- Great. I'm really happy. Okay, well I'm going back to my friend. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you - she kissed him on the lips and laughed like an excited teenager - Oh, you taste like a whiskey, bleh, but I love you anyway! - she laughed again and walked away towards the table where her friend was sitting.

- I love you too...

He watched her walk away without even bothering to finish his drink. He was actually quite pleased that she came up and talked to him. But that kiss on the lips? She could have given him a kiss on the cheek, then he wouldn't have gotten so hot. He undid a few buttons of his shirt at the neck and loosened his tie more. He drew in the air deeply.

Marg noticed that Colin was watching her and smiled at her. She waved him off and sent him a kiss. She was pleased with this chance encounter. She had not seen him for almost a month.

Colin reached for the phone and ordered a cab. After a moment, he got up from the bar stool, put on his coat and headed for the exit. He deliberately walked past her table and touched her shoulder, smiling. He staggered slightly because of the alcohol he had consumed, but she believed he would be fine tomorrow.

He went outside and looked up at the sky and closed his eyes. He felt more confident as he walked past her table. He tried to take his steps correctly, but it didn't quite work out.

- You are pathetic, Zabel! - he shouted toward the sky and laughed.

One part of his body wanted to stay there with her, but the other longed to be back home to start getting ready for tomorrow. He needed to sober up.

————

@robnovetre

#evan peters #evan is my crush #love evan peters #yyyyyy_okay #american horror story #quicksilver #xmen #kai anderson #colin zabel #colin zabel fanfic #colin zabel smut #mare of easttown #evan peters fanfic #fanfic #evan peters fandom #fantasy

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 40, It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us

"Neeks, you awake?"

"What time is it?" The Hades child mumbled, pushing his hair out of his face.

"11:24."

"How the fuck am I still tired?"

"Because you still need to catch up on sleep and you're off drugs medical and others after a while so you're still adjusting."

"I'll be honest I didn't process half of that." Will rolled his eyes teasingly, walking over to mess up his hair more than it already was. Will started to look through some files he'd brought in with himself as Nico started to get ready,

"Can I braid your hair?"

"You know how to braid?"

"Not very well, but Kayla made me learn a few years ago before she had to let Aussi cut her hair on a dare."

"I can imagine how well that went, but sure." Will sat next to him, brushing out and parting his hair before starting to do a french braid. "Do you have the second volume of Heartstopper?" Will laughed, quickly kissing Nico on the cheek.

"I can't believe I thought you were straight but yes, I have all the books."

"I can't believe I thought you were straight."

"Think you were the only one Neeks."

"Oh shut up Solace."

"Don't think I will di Angelo."

"Gods save me."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing." He answered almost instantly,

"Not an option."

"I'm not hungry." He promptly ignored him and pulled out three ceral bars from his pocket,

"Pick one."

"Leave me alone."

"Do you feel sick?"

"I- I- just... can't, drop it William."

"I'll leave them here, just eat when you can, alright?" He said, half hugging him.

"Fine."

"Nico, have you considered talking to someone? Maybe keeping a journal as well?"

"Only if you'll also get help." He couldn't think of something he wanted to do less but Will needed help, desperately.

"It's not your job to worry about me."

"Will, I'm your boyfriend, it really is."

"Are you comfortable with the idea of talking to someone?" He was fine, he knew he was worthless what's the point of lying to himself.

"N-no." Fuck, this wasn't going the way he hoped.

"Nico, you don't need to do anything that you aren't comfortable with, that won't help. Also... I'm sorry about last night.. I- it's- yeah I'm just sorry."

"Will, no one's perfect, you need help, please, just try to."

"Neeks, I'm fine, really. I was just shocked last night and yeah, there have been a lot of people in the infirmary because of the war normally it's just less hectic." Lying through his teeth, he hated himself for it but that's fine, just another thing to add to the endless list. He wasn't Nico's responsibility, he doesn't need anything else on his mind.

"Just, take a break every now and then, I swear you're always working."

"Actually Kayla's ban me from working for the rest of the week soooooo."

"Good, you need it. Wait does that mean I don't get to see you for a week?"

"Nope, you can't get rid of me that easily. Apparently I'm too much of a simp for that, but I have a feeling she's timing it to make sure I don't spend the whole day here."

"I can see that happening, but you need a break so she is completely right."

"I really hate you sometimes di Anglo."

"I know." He whispers, blowing the son of Apollo a kiss.

"Solace, times up!"

"Better go Sunshine, also... I'll try journaling, I don't know if it'll help but I'll try."

"I'm proud of you Neeks," He ruffled his hair before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, he kissed him back, wrapping his hands around his neck."I'll see you soon."

***

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson fandom #nico di angelo #pjo #fanfic #will solace #solangelo #annabeth chase #fanfiction #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson fan fiction #percy jackson fic #percy jackson fanfiction #percyjackson #fan fic writing #fan fic #fan fiction #solangelo fic #my fic #fic writing #solangelo fanfic #solangelo fanfiction #gay #leo valdez #reyna avila ramirez arellano #jason grace #piper mclean #frank zhang #hazel levesque

[rdr2stories]

"Husband" a jovier fanfic.

A short fanfiction about John thinking about his relationship with Abigail and his old with Javier.

The night was quiet and cold, not a single sound to be heard except the occasional sigh from the sleeping woman beside him as she turned. This was not what he had imagined laying next to his wife would feel like. Wasn't he meant to feel warm lying next to the person he would spend the rest of his life with? How was it possible for him not to feel warm when she was? Wasn’t it physics that he should be warm?

Abigail did look pretty laying there with her ruffled hair spayed over her sleepy face and her mouth slightly parted. That little feeling in the bottom of his stomach grew again and he wanted to vomit, that thought creeping in the back of his mind, pretty not attractive. Had he ever found her attractive? Had he never admired her in a way that wasn’t the same as when he admired Arthur? Someone he was close to who looked good but… not good.

What a fool he was, of course, he had, she was his wife, they had a child, they had laid together, of course he found her attractive.

It wasn’t just his own doubting voice that nagged at the back of his head, but another, one that had spoken to him many many years ago that still would not leave hin alone.

It had been a night just like that one, a quiet night that had been even colder, but he hadn’t felt cold, he had felt warm pressed up against Javier’s chest, looking at his lips, studying the ways that they slightly parted as he breathed in through his mouth, a little habit he had.

He had been happy then, properly happy, laying next to Javier, the two of them simply watching each other with soft, affectionate eyes. John had never felt as much affection towards anyone as his brother in arms, the man who had saved him a million times, the man he had saved a million times.

The man.

Even then, in the happiest of their moments, it had been there in the back of his mind. Man. He had been okay with it because he hadn’t seen it as something that would last. He knew he couldn’t allow it to no matter how much he loved Javier. Unconventional love was accepted in the camp, they had rejected the law so why not the social norms as well, but it still hung on a little bit. The gang would allow flings between men, heck it was common even, back then it hadn’t been uncommon for John to catch Sean and Lenny at it in his tent, but long-lasting love? The marriage kind? It still wasn’t accepted between the boys.

Javier had kissed John, John had kissed back, he loved Javier, he had known that, he had also known he had loved him more than Abigail, he just hadn’t accepted it. No matter what aspect of Abigail he thought of, whether it be beauty, intelligence or personality, he always liked Javier better… Javier knew, John knew that Javier knew and John knew that Javier wanted more. He wanted the kind of love that wasn’t theirs to have.

“We could do it, you know,” Javier said, breaking the comfortable silence between them. “We could do it.”

John let out a slight huff. “What makes you think we wouldn’t be skinned alive?”

“Dutch and Hosea has done it,” Javier replied as he brushed a few strains of hair behind John’s ear. “They are together, they ain’t married but they are together in every other way, no one has skinned them, people respect them.”

John shook his head. “They don’t respect them, they just fear Dutch and like his plans enough to overlook his love with Hosea, who no one respects. Was it Hosea with someone else? They would have tried to slaughter him, would they have come far? No, but they would have tried.”

“Then let’s make them fear us,” Javier cupped John’s face. “We got the looks for it, the record as well.”

John sighed. “I don’t think it would work Javi.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love Abigail?”

“Yes.”

Javier raised a brow. “I meant do you love her the way you love her?”

“No,” John frowned. “Of course not. I love you like… I don’t know, a lot. I love her like a wife, I guess.”

Javier sighed. “John, you won’t be happy with her, she won’t be happy with you either. She feels the way about Sadie as you do with me, you are just trapped by the idea that a man and a woman is the only way love will last.”

John wiggled his way out of Javier’s arms, sitting up and looking down at Javier. “It is the only way.”

“Hosea and Dutch.”

“Dutch got Molly.”

“But he doesn’t love her,” Javier sat up and looked at John’s conflicted face, he knew, but he wouldn’t accept. “Not like he loves Hosea. If they can, so can we.”

John shook his head, covering the panic in his stomach with a disgusted face. “No, no we can’t, Javier we can’t-”

Javier sighed as he got to his feet, looking down at John. “Don’t come running when you realize I am right.”

It had been eight years since then and ever so often Javier’s words would pop up in John’s mind, but it was first then that he truly accepted that being Abigail’s husband did not mean the same as being Javier’s husband meant. 

#john marston #jovier #rdr john #rdr2 #rdr2 community #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 john #abigail marston #abigail roberts #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 javier #javier escuella

[courcgecus]

Poor or not, the lady loves comfort - look at the size of that pillow.

And that blanket looks very cozy too.

#.outofcourage #|| listen she lives with little but I believe she does enjoy comforts and luxury if given xD #|| she appreciates those - but lives sparingly #|| but yes she wants to sleep comfortably

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.

I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.

For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.

I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.

Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.

If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.

That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"

Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.

For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.

The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.

At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.

The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?

Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.

Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-

But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.

Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.

To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.

"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.

"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."

And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.

What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.

I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.

#dao #dragon age origins #alistair theirin #dao alistair #dao morrigan #da morrigan #tw: sa mention #long post #i love origins so much #every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional* #and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before #also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her #morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them #since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him #and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in #and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've #but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes #and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks #that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk #i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still

[softquietsteadylove]

I know you've already written several of these, but I wanted to ask if you could write a nightmare scene. A scene in which Thena has a violent nightmare and lashes out wildly in her sleep. Gilgamesh tries to calm her down or wake her up without hurting himself or her.

Gil's eyes split open in the dark of his room. His fire was down to small embers, but it wasn't the chill that had woken him. It was faint, but it was a vibration that alerted him to something happening in the room next to his.

He looked up, waiting for another sign of anything. It took a few minutes, but he heard another thump of something. He pushed his covers back and prepared to make the chilly walk to the room next door.

Thena had always had nightmares, and the cold really wasn't helping.

Gil padded to her door, knocking gently before entering. He waited, but the fact that he hadn't woken her was a sign that she was quite deep in sleep, and whatever visions were plaguing her. "Thena?"

The room was a disaster. Blankets and sheets and furs slashed to pieces as if a battle had taken place. It would be easy to assume that an assailant had tried to sneak into the Warrior Eternal's chambers. But it was just her, tangled in what remained of her bedding.

"Oh, Thena," Gil sighed as he closed her door behind her. She was both sweating and trembling, which didn't surprise him, considering how cold she was here all the time.

The battle today had been long, and draining in a plethora of ways. Thena had just barely dragged herself back to the palace, leaning on him all through dinner.

"No," she panted, seeming feverish as her body spasmed in the bed, "please!"

"Thena, I'm here," Gil whispered, approaching the bed carefully. He jumped back just in time to avoid one of her blades.

She was made for war, and sleep wasn't strong enough to keep her from it.

"Please don't!" she whimpered, hands held aloft, sometimes still and sometimes twitching and clawing. Then they were fabricating a blade and lashing out. "No!"

"Thena," he raised his voice faintly, hoping to wake her gently. He didn't want to get hurt, but more importantly, he didn't want her to hurt herself in the process. He inhaled, pulling some energy into his palms, "wake up."

"Gil," she whispered, and sounded distressed when she did. "Gil, please help."

"I'm right here, Solnyshkuh," he attempted to soothe her. He didn't know what was happening in her mind, but he must have been taken from her by force. It was the only way he was ever parting with her.

"Gil," she mumbled out miserably, hands back to clawing at the air.

He swept forward, pressing his palms to hers. His energy met hers, the two fizzling and sparking against each other. He wove their fingers together, letting out a breath as her Cosmic Energy and its deadliness receded. Her hands softened, her fingers sliding against his to cling to him.

She stilled.

"Thena?" he whispered, still holding her hands together with his. He leaned down, nudging her head with his, "hey."

"Hm," she blinked as her eyes finally cracked open. They were hazy and unfocused--nothing like the Warrior Eternal. "Gil?"

"Hey," he cooed, pressing his lips to her forehead as he helped her sit up using his hands for leverage. He moved with her, only leaning as far away as strictly necessary. His head hovered close to hers, "you okay?"

"Wh-" Thena looked away from him around the rest of the room. Her fire was still reasonably stoked, and now with a few scraps of material in it. She looked around at the damage she had done. "Did I...?"

"Nightmare," he whispered, running his thumb along the bony ridge of her hand. "You remember?"

She shook her head.

"Okay." It didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was awake now, and he could comfort her properly. He pulled her closer until she could settle in his lap, like she would when they went to the bath house together. "Never mind that."

Thena inhaled with her face pressed against his neck, nuzzling in to bury her nose in the collar of his sleeping robes.

She was shaking. Gil tightened his hold on her, pressing his much warmer cheek to hers, "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

Thena said nothing, burrowing against him for comfort against an unknown, unseen enemy. Her fist closed around a handful of his robes, holding onto him with desperation.

"Come on," Gil said equally soft and decisive in tone, standing and hefting her - not that there was much to heft - into his arms.

"Where?" she sighed, although it couldn't be said that she protested at all as her arms looped around his neck.

"My bed," he clarified, as if it needed saying. He walked back to his room, leaving them to decide what to do about her bed chambers later. "It's nice and warm."

"And in one piece?"

"I was gonna say comfy," he chuckled, and felt her smile against his cheek as a reward. He leaned his head against her, "you need to rest."

Thena let him close his door and set her on the bed. She immediately snuggled into the spot where he had previously been lying, taking up half the space while on her side.

Gil chuckled, coming back to her after tossing a few more logs onto the fire. He slipped back into the bed, letting her take the warmest spot for herself. He was warm enough. He wrapped his arms around her, always happy to enjoy how cuddly she was when she was cold. "Better?"

"Hm," she purred, burying her face against his chest as she made herself comfortable.

"I keep telling you to come to bed with me," he reminded her as he listened to the sweet music of her dozing off.

"I'm trying to sleep, Gilgamesh."

"Okay, later," he promised, kissing the top of her head (since her face was pressed into his chest at the moment). "I'm just saying-"

"Shush."

"Yes, dear."

#Thenamesh Rus AU #I usually have these take place in Australia #but I don't think nightmares simply...started after Mahd Wy'ry #I think it would be easy for the Eternals to have nightmares #and Thena would just be a little extra sensitive to them #or maybe it's just me wanting an excuse to get them to cuddle #but I don't think she would exactly sleep easy while getting used to the harsh Russian-esque climate #that's why she has Gil! #and what a good husband he is #comforting his murder wife #Thena sleeps in a little the next day #Gil asks the palace staff to re-dress her room for her #they look at what happened and look at him #he says it's not what they think #it was a...uh...an assassin #after the Royal War Advisor! #yes that's it #they don't believe him #but he's fine with them assuming they just have wild sex in there #he's sure that Thena would prefer that too