#BUT OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE HOMOPHOBIC AS A WHOLE WHAT THE FUCK I LITERALLY ALWAYS WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO BE LIKE aint no way ahah BUT NO?

[apple-os]

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

#the salt just caught up with me and now im pissed #hi welcome to what i like to call a friendly reminder that hanging out with someone just because its convenient is kind of shitty #and a less friendly reminder that talking about yourself to connect with people is an autistic trait #and an even less friendly reminder that not telling someone if theyve done you wrong and then proceeding to blow up on them is ALSO SHITTY #ESPECIALLY. WHEN. THEY THINK. YOU'RE ON GOOD TERMS. BECAUSE YOU ACTED LIKE IT AND THEY CAN'T READ YOU. #IM REALLY FUCKING MAD #I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE. #the people who actually somewhat knew me and hung out with me and were on good terms with me think the same #so like BLEH MYEH :PPPPPPPPP #like okay youre entitled to your opinions but sometimes you need to keep those to yourself #did u see me insulting u to ur face #nope i have not done even once #and thats on getting better communication skills instead of lashing out at someone for trying to fit in with your own vibes #like yeah oversharing is my deal. anybody who sees me here knows that #i bond by being open with people about who i am and what i like in the hopes that theyll do the same #if u think im just around for gaming and making silly jokes u would be wrong. #but of course nobody told me people weren't there to bond like that which in my opinion shouldnt be on me #and once again i am outcasted over something honestly kind of fucking stupid #some of the jokes i made were stupid yes but thats solely because i severely misjudged the vibes #and checks notes oh yeah nobody pulled me up for it even once. #okay so let me get this straight you barely know me and have been making assumptions about me since day one #pretty much let me believe you liked me for two whole weeks instead of asking me about things or cutting me off #and im the one who gets treated like im in the wrong? okay #this miscommunication was not my fault in the slightest and i KNOW that #if you hadve just talked to me things would be fine but theyre NOT. #if you hadve just looked at my gosh darn profile and seen im the queerest fucker around making gay and homophobic type jokes maybe you woul #have had half the mind to ask me if i could stop making those jokes!!!!!!!!! #i am not transphobic!!!!!!! I AM TRANS!! I WAS MAKING A MOCKERY OF SOME TRANSPHOBIC CULTURE I HATE!!!! #i mightve vented on main ONE TIME under the guise of a silly joke but oh my god guess what?? that was an attempt to see if anybody related. #you never liked me in the first place dont lie to yourself

[therainscene]

It’s funny that Bylers are so often accused of being delusional, because I was at my most delusional when I was anti-Byler.

I spent most of S4 refusing to acknowledge that Will had romantic feelings for Mike, despite knowing damn well what all that love triangle imagery and sad gay pining was implying. I convinced myself it was just bros before hoes drama; that perhaps Will wanted to come out to his best friend but felt nervous after six months of radio silence following “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

The van scene forced me to accept that he really was in love, and it pissed me off because what was even the point of making him fall for a straight boy?

Mike’s bizarre “no homo” behaviour was clearly a symptom of growing up in a conservative 80s household, and witnessing Will’s sacrificial act of love in the van was the shitty lesson he needed to get over his homophobia.

I saw a typical straight male protagonist in an 80s coming-of-age film getting to coast his way to self-actualization on the back of queer suffering; a cruel and homophobic trope I thought we’d moved past by the year 2022.

But then the NINA reunion scene rolled around--

--and I immediately picked up on the heavy parallels between Mike and Will in how they greeted El. The realization hit me like a tonne of bricks: Mike feels the same way about her as Will does.

I thought, “wait, does this mean I was wrong about...? Oh my god. No way.

No fucking way.

Will was in love with El this whole time?? What the fuck, he’s been gay since S1 and she’s his sister this is BULLSHIT I will personally strangle the Duffers--”

Heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, kids.

Let this be a lesson to those of you who think media illiteracy is to blame for Byler denial -- how well someone understands the mechanics of storytelling is irrelevant if they insist on treating Mike’s supposed heterosexuality as an axiom instead of an evidence-based conclusion. The issue lies with bias, not literacy.

I was stubbornly anti-Byler because I knew I’d immediately fall in love with this ship if I allowed myself to have hope it could be canon, and the general state of queer rep in mainstream media meant I was all but guaranteed to get hurt if I was so stupid as to have hope. But in my desperation to cling to the “safe” heteronormative outcome, I only ended up hurting myself with my own silly assumptions.

We’ve seen both canonically gay characters in the show make exactly this mistake, needlessly hurting themselves with their silly but self-defensive assumptions about their love interests.

Stranger Things absolutely nails its depiction of the subtler ways internalized homophobia can manifest -- Will may feel like a mistake and be prone to beating himself up, but he isn’t some pitiful self-loathing queer who wishes he was straight, either. He’s just so crushed by heteronormativity that he accepts it as an inescapable fact of life and lets it guide his beliefs and actions.

Don’t get me wrong: Will, like Robin, is very sensible for being cautious in such a horrifically bigoted environment -- trying to openly defy that level of homophobia by yourself, especially when you’re young, is a bad idea.

But unlike Robin, he clearly struggles to accept that he has the right to chase his same-sex love interest. He's no longer simply exercising caution, but conforming to homophobic standards -- much in the same way I thought I was sensibly refusing to be queerbaited, when really I was just agreeing with the heteronormative status quo.

I realize now that this is the real reason Will was written into a homophobic 80s trope: not to teach Mike an outdated lesson in acceptance, but to maneuver Will into position for the lesson he’s going to learn in S5 about resisting conformity.

Will needs to learn that castrating himself to make straight people comfortable is a bad idea too. Not only is that a miserable way to live his life, but what sort of world is he leaving for the next generation of queer kids if he never questions these homophobic standards?

It’s just the cycle of abuse scaled up to the societal level.

This is what gives me confidence in Byler endgame. Queerness isn’t just an incidental element of Will’s personal arc, but suffuses the show to its very core -- it’s in its themes, its allegory, its characters.

So Will getting the boy isn’t just nice fan-service for Byler shippers, but a necessary ending if the show’s most important lesson is to land:

That it’s rewarding to make the difficult choice of standing up to bigotry in the face of forced conformity. Of choosing love.

Could it be the case that I was right the first time, and Stranger Things is going to turn out to be yet another heteronormative mainstream show that doesn’t commit to its own themes? Sure, maybe. But that wouldn’t invalidate the valuable lessons this show has already -- and apparently accidentally lol -- taught me.

Anyone who calls us deluded for hoping a mainstream show is going to have a gay pairing as its main couple just doesn’t realize -- or doesn’t care -- that they’re contributing to the very problem they’re describing.

#stranger things #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #robin buckley #my analysis

[red-might-be-dead]

hello hi here to force strange thoughts into your brain once again, this time about jrwi (wow who could’ve guessed)

been thinking about this for a little but it’s basically what i think some campaigns would be if not podcasts, i haven’t listened to some of the older ones so i’m sorry they’re not on here :(( if you have any ideas feel free to add them btw :DD

RIPTIDE!!!!! - really long animated series

not an anime though, no matter how much grizzly wants it, it would be an animation style where the characters could have very clearly different nose, face and body shapes, really pushing my riptide nose agenda here sorry, each episode would be like 20-40 minutes long and instead of coming out in seasons there would be massive gaps in between episodes, from 2-6 months long, to leave time for writers and animators to get stuff done (massive team of animators btw, i feel like it would be pretty successful)

PRIME DEFENDERS!! - comics

literally nothing else they could be, just really well made, well performing comics (i’ve already talked about this before you can stalk my talk tag if you really want to find it lmao), the comic company making them would be keeping well away from movies n shit btw

APOTHEOSIS!!! - i wasn’t really sure about this one to be honest

i had to ask my friend and she said anime which i don’t agree with but i can see it, i think maybe a short book series where each book is 150 - 300 pages and is about a different god they have to kill/a different episode, i think that works but if anyone has any better ideas please tell me :D!!

BLOOD IN THE BAYOU!!! - i hate to say it, i really do…

bitb would be a really long really good 80s horror book with strong homoerotic undertones, a satisfied fanbase and lots of active members in the community making fan comics, films, writing, theories and art ect… until well after the book came out……….. and then it would be made into the most egregious and awful live action movie you have ever seen, the most awful casting (like chris pratt as officer dudes���.. throws up) and even worse sfx, oh yeah and the characters would be ruined and the story would become so butchered it wouldn’t make sense, they would do some shit like cut out becky so kian just kisses some random lady (removing both a really good and well written character and a layer of kian’s character that i think is super important) and make rolan really be an evil bug spy the whole time so rand has to kill him to save the town also add in a whole new sub plot that never existed like the rand family is secretly a long line of bug alien hunters or something fucking stupid like that and the entire fanbase would murder whoever thought re-writing the story was a good idea (ahaha can you tell ive been through something like this before ahahaha, character morals and motives being removed and whatnot ahahahhahahaha.)

anyways………

THE SUCKENING!!! - live action series

it would be well made though, unlike the bitb movie it would be its own original thing, have great makeup and effects also be well casted and well shot, well written, ect ect, it would bloody and gory and not suitable for people who can’t handle showing bones and organs all over everywhere, lots of shitty rip off merch would be made though and the fandom would be 99% gay little freaks (normal suckening enjoyers) and 1% homophobic straight white men who get mad whenever they see soda and emizel having gay sex on screen or whatever fag shit that biting thing was

again feel free to add your thoughts and ideas and shit in the reblogs it would be nice to read them :DD!!

#red rambles relentlessly #jrwi show #jrwi pd #the suckening #jrwi riptide #jrwi apotheosis #jrwi bitb #jrwi spoilers #jrwi the suckening #jrwi prime defenders #bitb spoilers #suckening spoilers #i think i wrote some shit that could be considered spoilers in those two sections #definitely the bitb one #which i definitely didn’t base around a certain netflix adaptation of one of my old favourite books cough cough #I HATE THAT FILM SO MUCH WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO SOPHIES CHARACTER SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BITCH STOP TRYING TO MAKE HER NICE #anyways like maybe one person who sees this post will know what that’s referencing #and i will admit the books weren’t perfect but at least the characterisation made sense

[olderthannetfic]

You know what? I'm really fucking tired.

I'm really fucking tired that, when it comes to producing medias, women are held at higher morality standards than men, and so are their female consumers.

I'm really fucking tired that we can't just enjoy shit without someone piping up with the MoRaL qUeStIoNs of what we're consuming and/or producing.

The Barbie movie comes out? It wasn't feminist nor intersectional enough. Its feminist message was 10 years out of date. Saying that Barbie is everything while Ken is just Ken mysandrist.

A dark romance book with a taboo couple is published? We didn't consider the implications of their relationship dynamic. We are supporting pedophilia/abuse/rape/whatever else.

Fanfiction as a whole? Supports bad morals. Moronic. Homophobic in its very nature, and mysandrist too because we have headcanons that emasculate men. Something to make fun of.

Why do men get to have their Walter White's, turn them into their personal superheroes and their "omg, he's just like me" but god forbid women say "What Amy Dunne did was wrong, but I get what brought her there"?

Why do men get to have their stupid, mindless fun, while we're here in the fucking trenches even for hobbies?

They get to have their Terrifier saga and their Barbarian* and their Mia Goth shooting a porn movie and then running from a serial killer without her top on**, but god forbid we don't overanalyze the structure and content of whatever dumb YA saga is currently trendy so that people know we enjoy it only ironically because we can't enjoy something dumb simply because it's dumb and entertaining.

Just let us enjoy our bullshit without constantly overpicking it. Not everything has to have morals, sometimes we can just enjoy stupid shit.

(This rant might've been inspired by a post I saw on Reddit of a girl who broke up with her boyfriend because she found out that he had a whole ass groupchat with his friends dedicated to sharing the link of her fanfics so they could make fun of her and would send her fucking hate comments too.)

*Barbarian was clearly inspired by the Josef Frizl case. You know, the one about the monster who trapped his own daughter in the basement and raped her for 27 years, forcing her to go through 7 births. In the movie, the result of these incestuous acts is a monster-like creature with superhuman strength and the brain of a peanut that has to be murdered so that the main character can go on with her life, because what's scarier than victims of rape?

**"Oh, but I enjoyed X!" Good, but that's not my point! I can assure you that, when the concept for the movie was pitched, in the section dedicated to "What audience does this product target?" the word "woman" was not mentioned once. It's a product made by men for men that women have taken a liking to.

--

[blackbirdnessie]

Shadowpeach incorrect quotes

Sun Wukong: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.

Macaque : Sun Wukong, that’s gay.

Sun Wukong: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

Sun Wukong : Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Macaque: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously not the real me.

Macaque : As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Sun Wukong: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Brotherhood era Macaque : We should get you to a healer for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sun Wukong: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Macaque : But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Sun Wukong: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Macaque : Is it working?

Sun Wukong: Go fuck yourself.

Macaque, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

Sun Wukong: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Macaque : This is a lie.

Macaque : I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Macaque : THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Macaque : Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sun Wukong: AS ENEMIES again?!

Macaque :

Sun Wukong: What are you in the mood for?

Macaque : World domination.

Sun Wukong: That's a bit ambitious.

Macaque : You are my world.

Sun Wukong: Aww...

Macaque :

Sun Wukong:

Macaque :

Sun Wukong: OH.

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: I feel like doing something stupid.

Brotherhood era Macaque : I’m stupid, do me.

Peng in the background: *wheeze*

Sun Wukong: Listen, we’re done, we’re over! Okay?

Macaque : Whatever bitch, you ain’t never gonna find no one like me.

Sun Wukong: Yeah, that's the point shithead!

Macaque : This date is boring!

Sun Wukong: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Macaque : Then why did you invite me?

Mk, who's only homophobic when it comes to Shadowpeach: he didnt, he specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sun Wukong I'll do whatever I want!"

Macaque, to Sun Wukong : We had a date!

Sun Wukong: *aggressively points to Bai he and the Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

Sun Wukong: Did it hurt when you fell-

Macaque : From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Sun Wukong: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Macaque : ...

Sun Wukong: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Macaque to Mk : Sun Wukong is playing hard to get.

Macaque : Little do he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Sun Wukong: I have feelings for Macaque.

MK : Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Sun Wukong: Look, last night was a mistake.

Macaque : A sexy mistake.

Sun Wukong: No, just a regular mistake.

Macaque : There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Sun Wukong: Nope, there's 26.

Macaque : Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Sun Wukong: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Macaque : You'll get the D later ;).

MK in the distance : Ugh!!!!

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: Macaque and I are no longer dating.

Brotherhood era Macaque : peaches, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re Mated.

Sun Wukong: Fight me!

Macaque : *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*

Macaque : Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Sun Wukong: Macaque , you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Macaque , naked in Sun Wukong's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Sun Wukong, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Sun Wukong: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Macaque : Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Sun Wukong: ...

Sun Wukong: You mean ring bearER, right?

Macaque : ...

Sun Wukong: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Sun Wukong: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Macaque : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Sun Wukong: I said within reason, Macaque . How about I murder that guy?

Macaque : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Sun Wukong: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Brotherhood era Macaque, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong, confused: I mean, this is my mountain, so yeah.

Macaque : Sun Wukong, you love me, right?

Sun Wukong: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Possessed Wukong: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!

Macaque : In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?

Possessed Wukong: I don't know, surprise me!

Macaque : You look good in that hoodie.

Sun Wukong: You know where else I'd look good?

Macaque , zero hesitation: My bed.

Sun Wukong, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Sun Wukong: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Macaque : Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Sun Wukong: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Macaque : You always act stupid.

Macaque :

Macaque : Wait...

Sun Wukong: Wow, Macaque , you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Macaque : We literally slept together yesterday.

Sun Wukong: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Brotherhood era Macaque : We should be partners.

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: You mean like, partners in crime?

Brotherhood era Macaque : Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

Sun Wukong: Bro-

Macaque : No, no, hold up, rewind.

Macaque : My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Macaque : Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Sun Wukong: Okay.

Macaque who, has never seen sharkboy and lavagirl : And make out during the scary parts.

Sun Wukong: Th-

Sun Wukong: The scary parts.

Sun Wukong: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Mei : Do you want to explain the text you sent Monkey King last night?

Macaque : It was autocorrect.

Mk: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me." To Monkey King?

Macaque : Yes.

Sun Wukong: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?

Macaque : Dude- Its satire!

Sun Wukong: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

Macaque walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sun Wukong, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sun Wukong, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

#lmk macaque #lmk sun wukong #shadowpeach #incorrect quotes #lmk incorrect quotes

[theconstantsidekick]

no because, supernatural is absolutely a train wreck. it's a colossal accident that is happening in front of you that you can't look away from. it is homophobic and non-sensical and downright laughable at times but you know what? I love it. I absolute love it.

season 1 was absolutely beautiful. you don't understand, really, you don't. they had a piss poor budget, you can see that in every frame. but does that stop it from being fucking beautiful? no. it is stylised and ambitious and a fucking visual treat.

and this is like the first fucking episode. the shots have so much character! and that's nothing to say of the characters themselves. from the first fucking scene you can clearly distinguish sam and dean's character clear as day. their motivations, their dreams, their hopes, all of it. it's established so well. their dynamic is unmatched. does it also have a lot of garbage? yes for sure. because what in the name of hell was that episode with bugs? what glue were they sniffing when they green lit that one? no seriously... I wanna try some.

but then they recovered, cause they did faith. my god, what an episode. WHAT AN EPISODE. that motherfucking reaper haunts my every waking hour

like yeah, I love me some baby dean and baby sam going on their small scale ghost hunts while learning deep lessons about who they are as people and what they want from life.

also that 'laugh I nearly died' needle drop? where sam sees jess? god tier editing, GOD TIER.

then they came back with season 2. and here is my most controversial opinion that should not be controversial at all, season 2 is the best season of supernatural to ever supernatural.

what is and what should never be, hollywood babylon, heart, nightshifter, and the whole fucking season actually. not a single miss in my humble opinion. and that finale? THAT FINALE. beautiful, magnificent. ground breaking character writing, everything comes full circle while simultaneously opening up new plot lines to explore.

and my god, yellow eyes is an epic villain. he is a very viciously written villain like, he's... my god. it ain't a walk in the park writing villains, believe you me patient readers, villains are harder to write than the protagonists, always. well, at least the compelling ones are.

now season 3 suffered because of the writer's strike, but didn't miss much either. like yeah some of the hits don't hit as hard as the season 2, but hey, mystery spot, time is on my side, ghostfacers, bedtime stories are nothing to laugh about. those episodes are fucking solid, like most of the season. and there is so much raw emotion is sam's need to save dean, it just makes my weak winchester brothers loving heart throb a little too hard. also...

need I say more?

does the show did look little more washed out and boring? yes. but it's cool, cause we're moving on to season 4.

listen, I kinda just wanna leave all my season's critique at this. i mean, yeah this. this is it. this is the long and short of it; castiel. i don't think i need to get anymore into it

so season 5 is just—

i'm kidding. obviously i'm gonna talk about season 4, at length.

listen, being able to introduce angels this late in the game and then have them be a such perfectly hidden players is a masterstroke of genius. it just is. i am a writer guys... apart from the relentless fanfic as well lol. and when i tell you, introducing a new big player which is also (not so) secretly the next big bad and playing it off as smoothly as they did in season 4, is beyond hard. but the biggest home run these fuckers hit is castiel and the best part is they weren't aiming for a one lol. and oh oh, the way they use their very VERY limited budget to show wings with just flashing the fucking light? CINEMA! that's fucking cinema right there man. i work on film sets, i am telling you, this is the smartest filmmaking choice they make on the entire show. it adds so much visual intrigue while being so awfully easy to execute. BRILLIANt.

now i cannot talk about supernatural without talking about the deancas romance of it all, which i understand not everyone can see or wants to, which is fine. to each their own. you consume art the way you want to, i don't care much as long as you can acknowledge that castiel and dean's friendship was just some of the best written television that mankind has ever seen. is that too grand a statement? yes. does that make it any less true? no.

they even brought back the moody lighting.

and then there's the episodes this season, most of which are home runs in their own regard. just like beautiful writing, the character development for cas, for dean, for sam, even the late john winchester is wild. anna is a wonderful addition, so is uriel, and alastair? they don't make villains like him anymore, they just fucking don't. AND THAT GODDAMN PLOT TWIST AT THE END? man! the finale was just... too good. Chuck's introduction is absolutely wonderful, even if they ruin him by the end but that happens a decade later so wtv, who cares? But,,,, Jimmy. Fucking. Novak. That's all. that's the tweet. yeah. i'm gonna end the season 4 fan fair with jimmy.

moving to season 5.

subjectively speaking, this is my fucking favorite. this season is a writer's dream while also being their goddamn nightmare. so many WONDERFUL characters to play with and such a grand plot but you get to see it all on a very small, consumable scale which is just... it's too smart for me to not mention. i won't start naming the plot points and neither will i name my favourite episodes because what even is the point? all of it was fucking perfect. you don't understand how hard it is to develop characters to such an extent that they become so familiar to the audience that they know their next move before you even put it on the screen. and supernatural had that. they tied everything together with so much care and consideration, just... AAAH so good.

a special shoutout goes to endverse!cas, crowley and death this season. you all know it in your bones that those three were just the absolute scene stealers. especially death's introduction... immaculate.

they did lose a few points for not being as aesthetically pleasing as the past few seasons but hey, gabriel was enough to make a smooth recovery.

but this... this is the end of the road for me people. season 5 is where it should have ended. in no way shape or form am i saying that there aren't a few good episodes here and there after this, because there are. i think season 5 was so fucking solid, tied up so many goddamn lose ends and then just put a cute little hell shaped bow on top and i just... yeah. this was and should have been the end of the road. do not get me wrong, i love me some jack kline, charlie bradbury, kevin tran, rowena macleod and eileen lahey but were they worth the bullshit ending i had to sit through? not really.

i absolutely think if there weren't more episodes of supernatural I would never have become a destiel fan, because i started shipping them when dean made cas a mixtape in season TWELVE! but my god, the good times were so scattered amongst the horseshit that even when i found those hidden gems, they were so fucking drenched in the stink that they lost their value.

the worst of it all is that, i cannot explain to you what supernatural means to me in a million words, because it is a part of me, heart and soul. i fucking AM castiel. i am a gay little angel you hear me? i love this show. i do. i'm glad it went on for however long it did but i feel like once in a while i need to write shit like this or read shit like this to remind myself of the show that it used to be. of it's beautiful cinematography, of it's clever little storytelling techniques. of it's wonderful cast. of how epic their song choices used to be.

FUcking RENEGADE? iconic. wanted, dead or alive? cannot hear the song without hearing sam's off tune goat bleating that he called singing along.

i need to remind myself of how afraid i used to be of lucifer. of how much i cried while watching dark side of the moon; when dean and sam burst the crackers, and how i learnt the lyrics to knocking on heaven's door just because of that scene.

sometimes i just have to walk through memory lane and look back at gabriel's death, the good one, the only one. it was so fucking meaningful. i have to think of "we are making it up as we go" to be able to breathe properly because those moments were so fucking beautiful.

fuck the big ones, i even remind myself of the small ones, of dean's handwriting being in all caps, just like him. of sam's fucking huge laptop with that weird blue black sticker in the middle. of castiel's tie, that just was the right shade of blue, and hung all wrong but just naturally enough to add so much more to his character than any fucking dialogue could. every small little detail of supernatural that made it so damn supernatural. i miss it all.

idk. i'm rambling. whatever.

#superntural #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #spn #spn season 1 #spn season 2 #spn season 3 #spn season 4 #spn season 5 #dean #cas #sam #dean and sam #i think it'll add onto this post later #as i think of more things #because you best believe i will

[nicnacsnonsense]

God, all my anger about the way the pirate battle poll fiasco ended up being framed is rising back to the surface. Like, I don’t really care about the drama itself anymore, but the way people talk about it like oh, OFMD fans were being sore losers and showed their whole asses and isn’t it so funny that the mod just went off like that pisses me off so much.

To be clear, what happened was the Black Sails fans were pissed off because they weren’t winning by a wide enough margin (I think it was at around 60/40 when this really got going) and they started spewing the most vile shit in the notes. Threats of violence, telling people to kill themselves, accusing OFMD fans of being morally bad people because of what show they liked to watch, homophobic stuff, etc. The stuff that stupid Hall of the Mountain video begins with was a pushback against all this hateful shit, not people being upset Stede was losing.

And yes, the mod did lose their temper, but that happened because they were being *relentlessly harassed* and sent death threats for the crime of telling the Black Sails fans to fucking cool it.

#ofmd

[writing-nothing-but-spilled-ink]

Joker head cannons

He definitely knows how to sew more then that he knows how to make clothing and he's really good with mending and making dresses if he feels like it

He's bisexual with a preference towards men like he has some attraction to woman but I feel like he more so views woman as easier to manipulate and control then men, tho he does have to find the woman attractive otherwise there's no real point for him to be with them, but even when he has a female partner hes still flirting with men any chance he gets and not just Batman but just some rando mobster he meets at one of the many bars in Gotham

He's definitely borrowed one or more of Harley's dresses and has had to make or order her a custom dress because he got blood on the one he borrowed and she's destroying his layer and killing his goons because it was her favorite and if he doesn't remedy it he'll have no competent goons to do his bidding..

Just like he hates Nazis he hates homophobia even more he can't be bothered with other things like abuse or domestic violence or murder but homophobia no he's hunting you down like a dog if he catches you on his turf dating to be homophobic god help you if you make a homophobic comment about him... I just imagine he just smiles and laughs and then kills you the most brutal way possible and then takes your body and starts parading it around Gotham as his date and even goes so far to go into a restaurant with the body orders dinner for both puts it on your credit card and opens a bottle of champagne like would you like more my love and starts cackling while the rest of the staff are horrified, I feel he'd even go so far as to carve words or something into your flesh and then finally dumps the body as a warning..

In that same vain if he's out and about enjoying a day off or day off adjacent for him and he's at a bar hell definitely be the life of the party mans will be flirting hardcore with any man he finds mildly attractive would definitely shoot you for not laughing at his jokes though

He has a whole warehouse full of custom dresses he's designed and had made and suits and other various costumes

He's a really good cook witch no one expects especially with cooking on a budget he can make like a five star meal out of the cheapest ingredients but if he has a choice hes a bit bougie, also I feel like he'd host a cooking class with his goons because they keep fucking up his breakfast and as he's teaching the class one of the goons burns the egg and he goes "oh sweetie that's not it at all", then grabs the goons face and holds it down onto the burner till a circular burn mark is on his face while saying, "I dont want to punish you but if i don't how will you ever learn". He releases him but and tells him to try again the goon surprisingly gets it right..

NOTE: Now this next one it really depends on what iteration of joker but I'm gonna put this around bronze/silver age era where he's less violent and psychotic and in this little thought Harley still exists yes ik she wasn't written till the 90s this is my head canon shut up also this is canon things mixed in with my headcanons so

But I imagine mid fight with one of the bat kids one of them pauses and is like joker can I ask you a question and joker is kind of like thrown off a bit and a thousand percent expects it to be a trick or sucker punched but he goes along with it and is like sure what's your question and the bat kid is like... "Soooooo your not straight right"?! And joker just fucking starts laughing then pauses and is like "kid what about my outfit makes you think ah yes that's a straight man do you think a straight man would flirt with Batman or go out of his way to arrange such lovely dates for batsy if I were straight ". And joker is absolutely laughing because this is the funniest joke he's ever heard to think anyone ever thought he was straight even harley who he was involved with for years knew this about him the moment she laid eyes on him.. the bat kid just kinda staring at him awkwardly ajd joker just is like why do you ask there's gotta be some reason for this question.. the bat kid is like uhh so then your bisexual right so like how did u know you were bisexual what were the indicators you were the first villain I kind of thought of I could ask and also the most available.. joker just pauses and is like alright I'm putting a pin in this plan and calls Harley and tells her to bring a white board and markers witch leads to an hour long lecture on the different genders and sexualities and what they all mean as well as an explanation that not everyone will be an ally

He also goes on to explain that when he was young it wasn't really a good time to be gay or bisexual so a lot of people were repressing part of themselves due to fear of what others would do to them if it got out and how the kid is lucky that the world is more accepting now then it was then he also explains that he and Harley had different experiences in that regard as they grew up in different times seeing as Harley is younger then joker

To put in perspective when Harley was a freshman in college Bruce was already three grades above her and on the cusp of graduating before dropping out

He's secretly a wine drinker

At some point he went to college and graduated with honors

He doesn't like animals views them as filthy and not worth his time

Hes neutral towards children definitely would beef with a child actually does beef with children (the batfam) I feel like he neither likes nor dislikes children like yeah he killed Jason but that was on a whim

#dc comics #comic books #batman #headcanons #joker headcanons #batman headcanons #dc au #batman headcanon #dc alternative universe #dc universe #dc characters #gotham #lgbtq community #joker is bisexual #stop erasing his bisexuality #bisexual #harley quinn #harley x ivy #joker #dc joker #dc comic #dc #dcu #thoughts #gotham villains #batman series #batman detective comics #batfam #batfam headcanons #comic villains

[katsune-nya]

Tokyo Revengers Romantic and Sexual Orientation Headcanons.

Part 2.

Contains: Michi, Mikey, Draken, Baji, Tora, Fuyu, Taka, Hakkai, Pah and Peh, Hina Emma, Yuzuha, Senju, Sanzu, Ran Rindo, Koko, Inui, South, Taiju, Shin, Benkei, Waka and Omi.

Takemichi:

He's so Straight it's actually sad, like i've never seen a straighter man. He actually doesn't have too much of a sexual attraction, but he's not in the ace spectrum either.

Edit: I change my mind, he's a bi king.

Mikey:

AroAce. He's in the spectrum and honestly doesn't really see the charm on relationships, he would get in one with the right person but doesn't look for it AT ALL. (He's the biggest simp when he falls tho).

Draken:

Straight Ally. The kinda ally that literally doesn't give a fuck. Would kiss a dude, doesn't care. He grew up in a fucking brothel, literally nothing about sex makes him raise a brow.

Edit: Remembered this.

That's such a weird thing for a straight guy to say, man. WHAT DID YOU MEAN??!!?!? Do you like Emma 'cause she kinda looks like Mikey?

Keisuke:

AROACE AROACE AROACE AROACE. He's so in the AroAce Spec it's not even a secret. Experimented with boys and girls, just doesn't really do much to him. Doesn't look for a relationship but if it happens he'll be surprised. No gender or sex prefference.

Kazutora:

Actually, i think he's Bi. The Homophobic Gay kind. He was so in denial until he was an adult and came out to Chifuyu and Kei in such a nonchallant way in the middle of a random convo at breakfast.

Right. In front. Of their salads.

Chifuyu:

Either the Straightest one can be or Pan. He's a romantic but doesn't get in a relationship easily, has literally zero experience but when imagining kissing in the rain suddently he realised the gender of the other person was changing??? The first person he came out to was Peke J and then Keisuke who gave him a thumbs up and kept walking like nothing.

Takashi:

I'm so sorry to the fangirls but this man came personally to me and told me he's a Fully Fledged Homosexual. He's so gay, oh my fucking God. Gay gay gay gay gay homo gay.

He has so much experience too and loves girls (could be bi) but men are just *chefs kiss*.

Gay and pissed about it but 'cause he's a Misandristic Man.

Edit: I realised I was wrong, he's actually the only straight character in this whole manga, he's just unrealistically perfect and that made me not see that he is a cishet.

Hakkai:

He's so fucking Bi for fucks sake. He realised he liked boys before he liked girls and he felt SO guilty about it. He literally doesn't know what the fuck he feels for Takashi. Is it Platonic or Romantic Love? He decided it didn't matter 'cause he just loves him and that's enough.

Pah and Peh:

Both Straight but both experimented with different kinds of people. They genuinly don't care and will be your biggest suporters whatever you are. Literal definition of Love Is Love. Will beat up a Bigot for you and enjoy it.

Hina:

Bi Bi Bi (actually Pan). She had only one or two crushes in girls but she fell in love with Michi at such a young age she never really cared. She has fucking queer merch but the aesthetic ones. She is the violent gay, Be Gay, Do Crime.

Emma:

... I wish she was gay... She's so Straight. She found being queer weird at first but only 'cause she never saw it 'round. Once Hina came out to her in a casual "boys" convo she was just like: "Oh... Well, that makes sense." And moved on. Got a cute lil pin with her pronouns and put it on her bag.

Yuzuha:

GAY. She's a Pan queen. She has crushes VERY rarely, like, once every 80 years, but it never matters what gender they are. She has a "Beat a Right Wing" sticker. She is gay with a PURPOSE, the purpose is to make her brother mad. She got over her crush on Michi just to develop one on Hina... Give this girl a break.

Senju:

A romantic. Probably Pan. She falls in love every Tuesday, Waka and Omi have to deal with her talking their ears off about her latest crush "I'm telling you, they're the one!". Probably the most into Non-Binary people, she thinks it's badass and cool.

Haruchiyo:

He HAS to be Gay. Bi at most. He just likes men. He likes men. Have i said he likes men? First crush was OBVIOUSLY Mikey. Whenever he gets drunk he starts saying the gayest shit (specially towards Rindo) and the Haitani brothers just have to listen to him and pray for him to get tired and shut the fuck up. "Listen, if i wasn't into [name] rn, i'd probably fuck you too". Ok, they don't care, go to bed.

Ran:

Pan. A hole is a hole. No but fr. He doesn't care, he literally has no prefference, but actually, 'till he was like 20 he had NO PULL. NOTHING. NADA. Hit him up and he'll fold.

Rindo:

Bi. He likes boys, he likes girls, he has liked the random nonbinary cutie down the street. He just kinda goes with the flow but he has prefferences so he doesn't really call himself pan, he likes men the most, especially if they are smaller than him, he thinks it's cute. Another one with no fucking game, probably kissed Sanzu and regretted it instantly because why Sanzu?!?!?! He was drunk, let him forget it.

Hajime:

... Come on, he HAS to be Pan. He likes pretty people, whatever they are. He likes looking at people as if they were art pieces but he doesn't get crushes. Once he falls in love, it's for LIFE.

Seishu:

Probably Bi or the best Straight Ally. He likes people rougher than him and people energetic/extroverted/chaotic/talkative. Doesn't really think about his prefference so he doesn't put a label on himself. Whoever he likes, he likes. In the Ace Spectrum.

South:

... Listen. Ok. Listen to me. I swear i have a point just liSTEN TO ME.

...

He's gay. He's fully homosexual. And he has no real prefference about it bUT, he likes femenine men a lot. Or men shorter or skinnier than him. Or... Honestly. He just... Likes men.

Taiju:

Pfffft. He's actually Bi or Pan but so in denial, in the closet, a closet guarded by Cerberus himself and a thousand locks with a pond around it filled with crocodiles. He likes strong people who can tell him to shut the fuck up and encourage him to do better. He dreams of getting married and having a family. Ew.

Shinichiro:

He's Pan. He has an obsession with women but he gets just as down bad with men, or enbys. He likes people smarter than him. He preffers people smaller than him 'cause he gets too flustered with people bigger, but ohohoho, he LOVES heavier people.

Benkei:

I swear i can't decide. It switches every time. I think his sexuality is fluid and he's unlabelled. AroAce Spec tho, doesn't really get crushes.

Wakasa:

AroAce Spec, but he has TOO MUCH GAME. He pulls without trying. He is mostly uninterested in people and relationships. You have to be an EXTRAORDINARY person to catch his attention (I have this headcanon that he's lowkey into Shin but that's for another day). Once he falls, you are not getting rid of him.

Takeomi:

Probably fully Aro. His true love is money. If he got into a relationship it would be a VERY slow and robotic process, until he relaxes and is like... Huh... This is nice. Then a switch flips.

• Will do more in some time about the rest of the characters. I had no more space in the tags lmao.

#Damn I really do change my mind huh #tokyo revengers headcanons #takemichi hanagaki #mikey #manjiro sano #draken #ken ryuguji #Peh-Yan #Pah-Chin #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya headcanons #shiba hakkai #hakkai headcanons #hanemiya kazutora #chifuyu matsuno #keisuke baji #shinichiro sano #senju kawagari #yuzuha shiba #hinata tachibana #emma sano #takeomi akashi #wakasa imaushi #benkei #seishu inui #hajime kokonoi #haruchiyo sanzu #ran haitani #rindo haitani

[jmdbjk]

JK's Seven live

JK starts off announcing his new single Seven. He immediately says he knows people will be disappointed it is just a single and not an album, but don't worry, he is working on a "full" album. It irritates me that he feels the need to even acknowledge this. JUST BE HAPPY HE'S CREATING NEW MUSIC OF ANY KIND.

He says he likes it and thinks we'll like it a lot and to look forward to it.

My take on perhaps what the MV might be like? He says its a feel good song that fits this time of year and since it was filmed in Los Angeles, the land of palm trees, sunny days and beaches I would expect a lot of outdoor scenes, people having fun, etc... because if it was all filmed on a soundstage, what was the point of filming in Los Angeles? Also, not a single leak of a pic of JK on set anywhere soooo hmmm...

The actor Han Sohee is supposedly very popular and edgy and I would imagine her fanbase and his will dovetail perfectly and the MV will be a match made in marketing heaven. The contact may have been made through Tae and his actor network. We don't know.

... and sorry, this won't be a p*rno film where they will be doing the nasty... no matter how much the homophobes think it will be. I mean... seriously? JK? Who had to get over his bashfulness of posing for cameras with no shirt under his Calvin Klein denim jacket?

Jimin had to gently break it to us that there would be female dancers just touching him (while fully clothed) in the Like Crazy choreo... and y'all think Kookie is going to be inserting his [blank] into a [blank] on camera? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAA... AHAHAHAHAHAAAA....

Anyway...

He also explained his album process is one where he is still working out what his colors and voice are. Which tells me he is much like Jimin in that though he is part of BTS, his central being is not creating the music but performing it. I hope he learns a lot from this process and is able to express his colors and voice to his satisfaction.

He talks about "resting" for so long and how much he really enjoyed this lengthy personal time. Back in February when people were sounding the alarm that he was being held back and forced to stop work... welll... he just said he chose to be a lump on the couch for a long time and apologized. DON'T APOLOGIZE KOOKIE! He's been running as BTS since he was a middle schooler, he deserves to be a lazy lump, JUST LIKE THE LAZY LUMPS EVERY ONE OF YOU ARE WHO JUDGE HIM AND HIS CHOICES ALL THE TIME.

He says the song Seven came about after a meeting with Bang PD and he heard the song and said MINE! I can't wait to see what Kookie did. I suspect this is the song he was recording when we saw this:

[April 16, 2023]

Kookie explains his new piercing:

Like bondage? Wait, that came out of nowhere... never mind, DON'T WANT TO TRIGGER ANY CLOSE-MINDED PEOPLE FOR GOD'S SAKES.

... what were you saying Kookie?

They always try to show "a different side" of themselves in their work. Their photo shoots have run the gamut of concepts. But Jungkook has indulged in tattoos and piercings for a few years now, experimenting first with the fake studs on his eyebrows before plunging in (literally) with a real eyebrow piercing.

You look like a cuddly bunny? Like a sweetie? Cuz you are?

His desire to be less "round" and more "sharp" is intriguing. Edgy is what I believe he's going for. His personality is edgy but perhaps not in the way he perceives "edgy" to mean. So he wants an outward appearance of edgy: tattoos, piercings, the whole motorcycle aura thing which reminds me, when are we going to see him straddling one of the bikes he supposedly owns?

Oh this explains everything...

[Paraphrasing for people in the back: Jungkook says to fuck off, he can do whatever he wants to his own body.]

A TMI: he just had an English lesson earlier. He says the order is difficult and I know exactly what he's talking about. The sentence structure of English and Korean are not the same. English is subject-verb-object, example: Dogs eat kibble. Korean is subject-object-verb: Dogs kibble eat. Also, English past/present/future participles are HARD for those learning English. The brain has to do some mental gymnastics in translating. Takes a lot of practice. He's very good at reading English and pronouncing what he reads. I suspect his struggles with English are conversational English and vocabulary. Not only do you have to recall the correct words to say what you want, you have to construct grammatically correct sentences as the words leave your mouth and its really hard to do that. I am certain he 100% understands English when it is spoken to him.

Another TMI: he had been at the company earlier, and ate buckwheat noodles...

I feel the need to further explain some misleading terminology people are constantly throwing around... not all noodles are "ramen" or "ramyeon". I already explained the difference between "ramen" as Japanese style and "ramyeon" as Korean style but ramen/ramyeon noodles themselves are made of wheat. When Jimin was asked specifically about did he go to Jungkook's for ramyeon, and he said no, he has not been to Jungkook's for ramyeon... but perhaps he's been there for buckwheat noodles which are gluten-free and are what JK used in that last dish he posted a pic of on Weverse. We already know JK has been told to lay off the gluten.

Anyway... back to JK.

He explains his 20/4 intermittent fasting. Some call it the "warrior diet." No eating for 20 hours and then a 4-hour window to eat. This type of eating pattern may impact metabolism and glycemic levels in your blood. If he's been told to lay off the gluten, this type of eating pattern may also be a way of controlling certain levels of blood chemistry throughout the day, especially if he's also working out. The timing of the eating pattern also makes a difference and what you eat during the four hours also impacts the effectiveness. That's all I know about it. Just keep in mind, all the members have a staff of professionals helping them stay healthy and when they say "diet" they don't mean they have eating disorders or are doing anything extreme that would hurt their health, they are following the advice of their trusted professional staff. Jungkook says his eating window is from about 7-8 pm until midnight or so.

After going on for a minute or two about how awesome yet cute Yoongi is, he says he wants to be like that, play instruments and sing and dance and be awesome too but...

I'm only 18 minutes into this 1 hour 50 minute live...

He showed off his mullet:

He still doesn't understand how some comments disappear...

My explanation to Jungkook: there is a complex war of wills happening in the comments where different factions of the fandom attempt to impose control over each other using the "report" function in the live chat. And that some comments, seemingly innocent of motive, "touch your hair", "touch your nose", "make a funny peace sign with both hands", are actually an attempt to coerce you into sending secret hidden signals to those watching in order to confirm that you are half of a "hidden" couple within the group and that you are being controlled and forbidden from living your life freely. These hand gestures (that only they know) and the places on your face that you touch are being intercepted and analyzed and fed into a software program as you speak so that these idiots ... conspirators ... dumbasses um, individuals, can prove their baseless ... ridiculous ... disrespectful ... selfish ... uh ... their fantasies are real. For real. Don't laugh. Ok go ahead and laugh because that's everyone's first impulse.

But for real, stop fiddling with your new piercing because it might get infected if you are constantly touching it with your fingers.

Gratuitous armpit shot for our hairy armpit enthusiasts:

Someone asks him for a spoiler for the song:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA SUCH A REBEL! This is the rebellion everyone insists proves that Kookie-pookie is being held back by the company. Right...

This is your rebel trying to invent his own "heart" gesture:

This is our dorky rebel, y'all... TAKE THAT, HYBE! (oops he gave himself a muscle cramp trying to make his goofy heart hands... our big, edgy, pierced, tatted up Kookie... love him)

And without any warming up, he commenced to working out on his home workout power tower.

Sorry, couldn't resist...

The whole time he's doing his arms work out he's whining about being so tired. Actually the ENTIRE time he's working out...

But he dropped another TMI too:

A shoot? What shoot, JK? And oopsie:

Every time he dropped those free weights to the floor, the neighbors below him probably fell out of bed...

[the chewed up corner of the coffee table is taking me out...]

At least he's not singing with his whole chest for 3 hours straight...

Then he gave himself a pep talk... to make himself do the workout... to finish it... to work on his solo activities well, to stop his habit of starting things and not finishing...

NO PAIN NO GAIN! YOU CAN DO IT KOOKIE!

Koo is gonna be hangry ...

That workout was a killer. Damn. Abs of steel.

As I've been making my way through this live, I've also been kept in the loop about a few things... Celine show has been cancelled. I was concerned that one of ours was in Paris while this turmoil was ongoing so hopefully Tae can get out of there. Maybe he can zip over to London and visit his bae at some point before heading back to Korea.

And hopefully no one gets triggered by this post since I kept it clean-ish. People are ready to call them lovers but saying they might be into certain sexual preferences is off limits? Seriously, check your prejudices before you start coming at me.

#wow this post was all over the place #jungkook seven #jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook #taehyung #maybe he'll buy his own new furniture when Bun-ker is ready to move into #Fort Bunkoo? #whatever we call it its a big ass house

[real-total-drama-takes]

the way that you think misogyny is over when you're a kid but you've been being forcefed it the whole time is crazy. Like I thought Susan B. Anthony solved all of my problems in the 1920s or whatever but like. it's everywhere. in music and school and cartoons it's just while. and racism too like. holy fuck.

ezekiel got punished for being a misogynist and that's all well and good, but then duncan gets away with EVERYTHING. like. from day 1 he was blatantly a misogynist. "what's for dinner woman?" LIKE HELLO why did they just say that? and not do anything about it? the entire show he was clearly not loyal at all to courtney like. he was so obviously flirting with heather all the time. and gwen too. I can't even explain how horribly misogynistic duncan was in the whole show.

and owen- oh my god. NO ONE TALKS ABOUT OWEN. the "double babe olympics", the "now it's just owen and two hot chicks". and so much like. NO ONE BRINGS THIS UP!!!

katie and sadie. anne maria. even dakota honestly. they were all just. misogynistic stereotypes. like hello. especially the way that anne maria is demonized when she did NOTHING WRONG. and this isn't limited to total drama but it drives the "the worst thing you can be is feminine" bullshit. like obviously you should be allowed to be masculine but I didn't want to be girly as a kid because I thought that meant I was stupid and one dimensional.

bridgette and geoff. okay. bridgette was absolutely TORN TO PIECES in this fandom for cheating on geoff. and you know what? I do think that's valid. BUT! EVERYONE IGNORES GEOFF. season two he was literally a demon like he was straight up evil he was worse than heather and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT these same people who love geoff HATE ON HEATHER for being so mean but hello geoff is RIGHT THERE he borderline was trying to kill people. and he ALSO cheated on bridgette. celebrity manhunt special, anyone? but no. apparently he did nothing wrong.

and I'm not even going to get into the love triangle.

and the racism like what this show did to leshawna is UNFORGIVABLE. total drama action especially and like I love the season but the racism is so rampant in it like holy jesus. and then like. every character of color is a stereotype ESPECIALLY IN GEN 1. the only gen 1 character I can think of that had nothing racist or like stereotypical to do with them is like. sierra. and then eva, even though she's not poc she's still a stereotype of east european people. I'm not going to get all that into the racism though because I am white and I don't really think I would be all that good to speak on it.

I'm also not going to speak about the fandom because this is already long enough but the fandom needs to GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER! it is okay to make mistakes, but what you need to do is REALIZE and BETTER YOURSELF! a lot of other people talk about misogyny in the fandom so please go read what they have to say too. I've seen popstart's posts and I think they do a wonderful job of speaking on misogyny and so you should DEFINITELY check them out. they inspired me to make this post.

but anyways. it doesn't even stop in the reboot. ripper and chase are just misogynistic and emma's whole character and it's just like. so bad. and then there's the whole "there's no homophobic characters!" like thanks terry wow. he can excuse misogyny but he draws the line at homophobia. after like what 15 years nothing EVER gets better because it seems like women are always the joke.

there obviously shouldn't be homophobia and racism but there also shouldn't be misogyny. and there shouldn't be pedophilia. it's so disgusting. and it needs to change.

.

#total drama #total drama 2023 #fandom takes

[phoenix--flying]

things my friendgroup has said while playing roblox games but its just titan army characters (canon +my hcs and a couple aus)

Chris: Not pump up the music box. What is is? Luke: Wind up??

Ellis: It's 5:07, we might not even need to wind up the music box. Cecil: Did you just say its almost seven???

Chris: Watch them all come into the room at 5:50. bonnie appearing at the end of the hall Al: CHRIS. CHRIS! Chris: OH GOD BONNIE-

Drew: Ethan is just SO homophobic he'd rather die then deal with lesbians. Ethan: Uh...yeah true

Luke: What if we did a reverse Five Nights at Freddys where the animatronics had to spend five nights at our house and then we literally like smash them in with a baseball bat.

Lee: Yall I have no idea what I'm doing. Silena: You can do it Lee! Lee: dies

Lou: I think that was Foxy leaving his home. Cecil: uh..nuh uh.

Lou: Oh. I don't like that sound. Ellis: No neither do I.. Cecil: Run.

Lee: Ventilation sys-... *phantom puppet standing directly behind him doing nothing* HI?? CAN I HELP YOU??

Silena: I've never seen him on the first night. Luke: I have. Lee: ....I feel like Lee is about to tell us me a horror story.

Ethan: Hes alive. Al: *walks into the room and stares at him.* Oh shit.

Silena: He's still in here? Don't tell me to come closer bitch.

Al: Please distract him. *jumpscare noise* ...by distract him I didn't mean throw yourself into his arms.

Chris: Luke your head just flew off of your head for a second."

Luke: I'm dead by the way so I am...no longer living. Lee: wow i wonder...

Silena: He's by Lees corpse 🤗 Lee: Thanks Leens😒

spooky noise Cecil: What was that?? *runs off*

Lee: If you do die I will to. I'll die with you.

Chris, Al and Ethan: *incoherent yelling and screaming about balloon boy* Luke: .....what??

Nyssa: Yea Foxys like eating your ass right now.

Luke: I hate Balloon Boy, I hate his stupid round eyes and his frickin balloon sign. Get outta here. Silena: His like free balloons take one I love you sign? Luke: Yea. Chris: Like I don't care. Go burn. Lee: How about we just burn the whole place to the ground.

Al: If I don't see him, he doesn't see me....he might see me. He might see me. Ethan: He sees you.

Cecil: What if it's really fun. Like what if we go to fun land after this. twenty minutes later Cecil: NO WE HAVE TO SLIDE INTO FUN??? Lou: NO KING WHY DID YOU SAY WE WERE GONNA GO TO FUNLAND??

Lee: Wait thats a seven? Silena: Its a two for me! Luke: ITS DIFFERENT NUMBERS!?

Ethan: Is this Sirenhead?? Chris: Do not even start. DON'T even tell me that.

Lee: So just hang left? Silena: Yup. Luke: Just always go left. Chris: Hehe. That's what I thought too. Silena: Oh..

Al: Chris I can't believe your profile picture isn't a cat. Chris: Al I can't believe you're GAY.

Mitchell: Why is your face purple?? Ethan: You're purple too?? Drew: WELL. YOU'RE FACE IS PURPLE TOO.

Chris: But I can see really well, I don't know what's wrong with you. Ethan: Cause you...cause you died. Al: Cause you fucking walked into Bonnie??

Chris: Oh my god I did it guys! All me. Silena: YOU DIDN'T!? You died like immediately. Luke: You died before the animatronics even started moving.

Cecil: Why would you say that? Chris: You trusted the person who walked into Bonnie on the first night? Cecil: I don't trust you, Luke: And he wasn't even off the stage yet. Cecil: I'm just gullible.

Lou: Oh my god this is so much better I can actually see them....actually nevermind it's not better. It's not better. I see too much.

Lee: Do you wanna play FNaF 4 :D Luke: NO??? (they played fnaf 4)

Drew: Oh come on lets get out! Car! OH IS THAT A KIA SOUL!? EUAGHGHHH

Cecil: I kinda wanna go down there. I really wanna go down there. I'm going. Ellis: Don't die. You're probably gonna die what am I saying?

Chris: Oh Foxy's in the garage?? Foxy's about to drive that car bro

Drew: Is Freddy in this game?? Yeah he is. Silena: Yeah Freddy's in the room. He's under the bed. Drew: Oh! He's under the bed! That makes me feel really safe! That's really- I don't like that. I wish you didn't tell me that.

Lee: I feel like I'm being chased in a horror movie or something. Silena: Me too. Lee: Except I'm surrounded by JOSH HUTCHERSON and I can't be serious about that.

Luke: I'm heading there. OH nevermind I just got hit by a military tank.

Al: Why am I coughing so much?? Chris: Because you're gay. Al: Yeah its a sickness.

#ta!lee has just been accepted as canon in my head btw so #and i have a few ta!drew aus #so 💅 #chris rodriguez #alabaster torrington #luke castellan #silena beauregard #lee fletcher #cecil markowitz #ellis wakefield #lou ellen blackstone #nyssa barerra #mitchell pjo #drew tanaka #pjo #phoenix rambles #titan army

[babiebom]

Ranking Nerdy Prudes Must Die songs

A/N: because I need something to post and I’ve been obsessed since the musical came out. Also merry Christmas and happy holidays!! Also PLEASE DONT HATE ME

Tw:some sexual mentions, cursing, lyrics might be wrong bc I’m going off the top of my head, mentions of murder etc

Wc: idk it’s headcanons so like 3 points for each song

Misc Masterlist

15)The Best of You

I just don’t listen to this as much as I listen to the other songs

Like it’s not bad

I just don’t really listen to it

It sounds like a high school musical song and the child in me loves it

14)If I Loved You

Idk y but the first time I watched this song made me uncomfy

Well not the whole song literally just the “don’t need lover boy need lover man” part even though Mariah KILLS it idk what it is about that part

But also their voices are immaculate

like Actually I love their voices so much

And the song itself is VERY good

Again I just don’t listen to it as often as the others

OH BABE ID LET YOU KNOW

PERIOD

I also really love the chaos that would be watching two people do this in a cafe

Like how they’re standing at the door like “you leave” “no you leave” actually funny.

13)Cool as I Think I Am(Reprise)

SADGE

I DONT LIKE SADGE

But also they again kill this Mariah and Joey are top tier

The whole “you’re not as cool as you think you are” “you’re as smart as I know you are”

To the “IF I LOVED YOU I WOULD SHOW IT”

IMMACULATE

Would be higher up if I listened to it more often but alas like the ones before this I just don’t listen to it enough.

12)Just For Once

Tbh this is only this high up because of the iconic parts that I listen to over and over

Like I think the only time I listened to the whole song was while watching the musical in its entirety

I literally only listen to VERY specific parts of this song

I’m gonna skip around some of the lyrics but y’all know the parts

The “I wasn’t upset about the attention I ensnared JUDGE ME”

“It fucking worked, I’m fucking here, he’s fucking her, I’m disappointed”

“Should I let the coals burn out? JUST FOR OOOOOOONCE” LAUREN LOPEZ IS A GODDESS PLS

“The other day the Johnson’s borrowed my tap shoes. I used to dance”

Like actually makes my heart clench

Like I’m 23 and this song makes me feel like it’s too late to do what I want because there’s all these things I used to do when I was younger and now I’m just….living but not really.

11)The Summoning

THE CHAOS

HELLO FWENDY-WENDS

Out OF THE DEPTHS OF HELL AND BACK

I LOVE THIS SONG

Stephanie yum yum

I love the lords in black (especially because they’re so colorful)

Also the beginning of this song is iconic

Literally their chanting and voices are so good.

Honestly if they remade this musical into a movie with all sorts of cgi I feel like this would be a VERY CHAOTIC PART

I love it

Also I think I just love when it’s a bunch of noise that allows me not to think

Which is what this song is when they’re singing the repetitive parts

And I know people hate the repetitive parts but I love them

Like so good

10)High School is Killing Me

Again don’t listen to this as much as I should

But I should mention that I listen to this at least once a day so we see how much I listen to the songs after this one

IM DEAD!!

I’m scared someone comes for ME I’m unprepared

Jon and Lauren sound so good here and I honestly think this was the perfect way to open a musical

Like yeah it’s a little spoiler but it’s so GOOD

It’s hell on earth you know? I’m tweeting all about it!

The way Angela covers her mouth every time they curse is funny

AND the part where they’re like “is god the one giving the test” and Angela (Grace) is in the middle with the light shining down on her is imagery I love

Like idk why people aren’t mentioning that she’s literally a Christian and is highlighted in that part.

Stephanie was up late last night and couldn’t study bc she was arguing about the homophobic dog

Also crypto?

Also I think this song perfectly embodies what it’s like to be in high school?

Like it was killing me and I swore that I wouldn’t miss it after I graduated, and that I would always hate high school and that idk how I survived it

But now as an adult I’m like damn while I hated going to school it was something about those days that I miss so much. And I only graduated 5 years ago.

09)Bully the Bully

BE COOL BEANS

Keep the beans cool

Bean school

Also I think we’re starting to show that I have a very special place in my heart for Angela

I love how she performs and portrays characters

Also the fact that they’re just singing about bullying the bully for all sorts of different reasons is funny to me

Petey gonna jump on out ✋😐🤚

Jäeger gonna Jäger out 🤘🤪🤘

Also actually was a funny plan that probably wouldn’t work irl but would be funny to watch on a school fight page

Also the fact that Max says that it’s the nicest thing anyone has done for him

08)Bury The Bully

Oh no 😥 she’s snapping again 😟

Please let this be a normal field trip

Give off same vibes

Also I love the layers in the song

Mariah does a good job

HACK ALL HIS LIMBS OFF (did you say hack all his limbs off?) YEAH!

Also very funny

Like Grace’s descent into madness is entertaining

RUTH IS GONNA CUT OFF HIS NIPS

Also shows how stupid they are because they literally could’ve said that it was an accident

It’s literally 5 of them

Just be like yeah we brought him here to scare him and his stupid ass decided to stand on top of some old ass wood and it cracked under him and he died.

But no listening to Grace they become criminals.

No one is gonna make Ruth their bitch

“Do you wanna get the fullest ride? Then start CUTTIN RIGHT ABOVE THE THIGH!”

07)Cool as I Think I Am

Song that shows up throughout the musical

Like it’s in almost every single song if you listen closely to the background

And honestly it’s so good

Because it makes me feel something inside

Like it plays as Richie dies

As Pete and Stephanie realize that she’s gonna have to kill him

At the very end in dirty dudes must die

It’s just an iconic song

Also Joey’s voice is AMAZING

“If I could finally break the rules I would know that IM NOT A LOSER”

Of HIS WORLD HE IS THE RULER

He’s as cool as she thinks he is and she’s as smart as he thinks she is

It’s so cute

Like it’s inspiring in a way

And it’s like he’s finding himself.

LOVE IT

OHHHHHHH SHUT UP-Max

06)Go Go NightHawks

ITS LIKE THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL YEAH

N

I

G

H

T

AHH AHH 🦅🦅

FIGHT 🥊💥

Fuck YOU CLIVESDALE GO GET FUCKED

YOU FUCKING LOSERS

I literally just love this song and that’s why it’s high

Like literally no other reason other than this song gets me crunk

I wanna whoop clivesdales asses

Bitch ass hoes

Like I did not like my own school rallies this much

But I would love to aten one of these football games

05)Hatchet Town

He is Dan Reynolds with Action News

WHOS SWINGING THE HATCHET NOW?

I think her name is Bryce I am not sure

But the pretty woman who sings the slow part

So beautiful and her voice is literally out of this world

“I REMEMBER BEFORE THE LOCKDOWN THE SUN WAS SHINING ON OUT TOWN AND OUT KIDS COULD WALK THE STREETS”

Literally I was blown away when I heard this part

And I honestly just really like this song

Like it perfectly portrays how people act when anything happens

Like shifting the blame and causing hysteria when all you really need to do is be vigilant and listen to what the professionals are saying

But then also the people in charge don’t know what they’re doing so it’s like WTF do we do

“YEAH ITS GOT TO BE DONNA”

It’s a chaos song that depicts people properly

I feel like most of their songs depict people pretty well.

Like yeah it’s exaggerated but it’s accurate as well.

I also like dancing around to this song like I’m being sneaky and gossipy

“Someone’s got their hands on the hatchet handle” 🕵️‍♀️🕵️‍♀️

04)Literal Monster

I LOVE THIS SONG

The only reason it’s not higher is because I listen to the other songs more

But OH MY GOD

everyone’s vocals immaculate

The dancing?

Amazing

Like actually literal monster is so good

“HE ROARS AND WE CRY HES THE REASON WE RUN AND HIDE”

Is her name Kim? I think this is Kim

I LOVE HER VOICE

Also everything about this song is just like YES this is how you do a musical

Also I think the guy who plays Max is named Will?

This is my first time ever hearing him sing and actually it’s so good

He’s the goofiest bully to exist like HUH

His little dancie dance is so funny

He’s like a Fortnite character

He doesn’t need anyone to tell him high school will be his peak

Also his obsession with Grace is so funny and comes out of nowhere.

And the fact that he hates nerds like her but somehow wants to smash even though there are more than enough people who are probably willing makes me think he genuinely likes her but would never admit it.

He’s a literal monster (lmao rip bozo)

03)Dirty Dudes Must Die

BROTHER

When I tell you I am obsessed

I mean I am literally listening to this song like a dozen times a day

And I sing it at the top of my lungs

I’m actually in love with this song

The only reason it’s not number one is that I like the vocals of the other songs better

“WHO WILL PRAY FOR YOU WHEN YOUR BODYS GONE? THIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE FOR WHAT YOUVE DONE”

Like YES

“ARE YOU HARD BC YOURE STRESSED?” (What?) “OR IS THIS A POWER I NOW POSESS?!”

Like yes girl use your haunted poosay to kill everyone YES

Like actually her arc is so good to me even though it’s like not what you’d expect/think would happen

Like you would be like oh Christian girl has sex and realizes that it’s not that bad and that she doesn’t have to be a radical religious person

But instead she’s like yeah okay I’m gonna use my new evil powers for GOD and now no one is gonna stop me

She goes from crazy to crazier and I love it

Angela is the love of my life

Like actually she makes me wanna act

And also be absolutely insane but that’s a different topic

Good song gets me hype.

02)Dirty Girl

YESSSJSJAKWOWKNSKWLA

I know this song makes people uncomfy

But I am a horny girl and this song literally gave me whiplash when I first watched like

GIRL ME TOO

Their vocals and just the song itself is so good

Like her struggle with staying true to her religion and herself but also now feeling lust and want for someone that she previously never would’ve thought about before

And it does prove that Max is right about Grace being kinky af because as we see her descent into madness the things that she’s into are things that I know Christian people would be horrified at

Like when they bring him to the Waylon house and he’s aggressive and she’s like OH YEAH THIS IS GOOD

This song is just like look at her try to deny what she’s feeling and look at her struggle with something that many other people religious or not struggle with and look at how badly she handles it

Like if her parents would’ve handled this better Max would not have died

She is hungry for more and now her judgement is all cloudy because of ONE BOY

Everything could’ve been avoided if she was raised to believe that lusting is okay, feeling those feelings is okay

You don’t have to act on them but LORD they aren’t something that is wrong to feel.

It just makes it worse when you try to suppress things

But alas she lives in a no moan household.

01)Nerdy Prudes Must Die

IM SO SORRY RICHIE BUT THIS SONG IS ICONIC

Literally the name of the musical

And rightfully the best song

Jon’s acting and voice is AMAZING

Will sounds amazing

Like actually I could not stop repeating the “will you pray for me, when I’m gone?” Part for WEEKS

Like I’m still singing it to myself

It’s so good

IM NOT A LOSER

Like brother how he just sings that part is like OH MY GOD

Like everything about this song is good

And the fact that Max is like Yeah I couldnt care less how you actively dismembered me and defiled my body(his nipples) and buried him in an abandoned old house.

Like everything about this song is also tragic

Because everyone is celebrating his disappearance

And at this point I feel like he has to have seen that they’re celebrating.

And he was so close to changing

We see that he’s an asshole because of his family life which is tragically the reality of a lot of bullies and hurt people in general

So to have him on the brink of maybe changing and then dying and being dismembered and buried in a place no one knows he’s buried in

Is so sad in a way

Like we don’t even get to see if he would have changed because he does

And when he comes back as a literal monster he’s hurt and angry and wants revenge on the people and people like the people that got him killed even if it was an accident.

This musical is genuinely so good UGH

#starkid #sk #nerdy prudes must die #nerdy prudes spoilers #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #musicals #grace chasity #max jagerman #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #pete spankoffski #stephanie lauter #ranking list #shitpost #random

[nabu630]

MAJOR LOKI SPOILERS FOR S2 EP4⚠️

This is my reaction so I do mention a LOT of the shit

Running on 17% battery, depressing/concerning/mental hospital worthy thoughts and an Oreo and I’m ready to watch some gods

Love how Mobius just went “it’s Loki’s turn to die”

Sylvie looks so homophobic wtf. She even called it a bromance and then glares at them like that tf

Yes loki, defend mobius.

Nope, he just said two words and let Sylvie continue to talk to Mobius like that

HES DOING THE THING WITH HIS ARM

I hate dox so much

Wait, Loki is defending Mobius?

Love how Loki is talking in this scene. I’m not paying attention, it’s just his voice.

He’s talking about Thor! He sounds sad.

Love the scene, not paying attention to what they’re talking about but how the environment is being used.

Pie=therapy. You don’t need to eat it, but anywhere there’s pie there’s a therapy session.

Say it

Say it

SAY IT

YEEEESSSSS

YES YOU ARE LOKI

oh yay, this girl is back, and the AI

Ain’t no way it was THAT good

Are they really going to kill them

This is horrid

Wtf

THEIR SCREAMS

THEY GOT CRUSHED

THE SOUNDS

YOU CAN HEAR THE BLOOD

WTF

YOU CAN HEAR THE BONES CRUSH AND THE BLOOD

AND MISS MINUTES WAS SMILING THE WHOLE TIME LIKE A PSYCHO

Mobius is back!

Has Victor never had hot cocoa?

I keep forgetting he’s in the past

Bro was really interested in that machine

You can still hear the blood!!

I HATE MISS MINUTES

Nice, hot chocolate. I now want hot chocolate

He’s so nice letting the other guy drink hot chocolate

NOOO, THE HOT COCOA

Wtf man

Loki and Sylvie are back! Wait, Sylvie is back…

Can we not bring back the box up? Please

Why is it actually so pretty

Wait, elevator, camera, NO

NO NO NO NO

THE FIRST EPISODE!

Sylvie is in the elevator and Loki… LOKI HAS THE THING

That’s past Loki, isn’t it

Wait, he’s going to get pruned

The phone!

ITS GREEN

THE PHONE

THE PHONE

LOKI PRUNED HIMSELF

HE HAD TO BECAUSE HE KNEW

THATS HOW IT HAPPENED

HES SHAKING! No I hate it when they shake

Answer it! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WEEKS

YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME

THAT WAS SO UNSATISFYING

they just want to use magic again

Like that wasn’t threatening

That was slightly creepy

YES DO IT!

Boo, I wanted to see Loki fight

Yes she’s pruned!

Mobius isn’t even going to talk him out of it

Bro was immediately spaghettified

NOOOOOOOO

ITS EXPLODING

DID THEY FAIL

LOKI !!!

You can’t end it like that!

I have to wait another week

Come on!

#marvel loki #loki season 2 #mcu loki #loki odinson #loki spoilers #loki marvel #loki show #loki series #lokius #loki #loki laufeyson #anti sylki #anti sylvie

[rageprufrock]

am i going to watch a whole show (mysterious lotus casebook) just so i can read your fic about it? yes. Am I also indefinitely suspended in a state of melancholy yearning for your vaguely-promised addition to Whittled Down by Another War? also yes. May sleep continue to elude you.

You know what? Ask and ye shall receive at least some of it, which I have written so far. Happy reading.

The first guy Porsche ever fools around with is a Korean tourist on vacation who shoots his shot in broken Thai. He's all smooth skin and silver-blond hair, wearing skintight jeans and a billowy pearl shirt; Porsche thinks he looks iridescent in the pink light of Hum Bar, between his light hair and light contacts, and he knows, objectively, that the guy is prettier than half the girls in the room tonight.

Because Porsche is sort of an asshole, he doesn't really catch the guy's name—Taemin? Jimin? something like that?—but he does remember thinking that it might be worth figuring out what the big deal was, and holding up his cigarettes, saying, "My break's in 15 minutes." It's a decision he makes out of pure curiosity without any influence from recent social factors, new acquaintances, members of the Bangkok underworld, or their specific tendencies to walk around with their tits hanging out of their designer shirts.

It's nice, because it's almost never not nice when someone is nice enough to put their mouth on your dick, but Porsche thinks—vague with formless disappointment—that it's only nice. Out of good hookup etiquette, Porsche offers and performs what he hopes is an acceptable handjob before giving his partner some alleyway wet wipes and a cigarette. It's a solid 6/10 experience, and he ends up dropping a few Google Maps pins for the kid for good restaurant recommendations and tells him which tourist traps to avoid if at all possible. It is the most ambivalent he has ever felt about a sexual experience, and it leaves him annoyed in a way Porsche decides not to think about.

"Are you serious?" Tem demands, when Porsche comes back from the alley. "It's not enough for you to Bogart all the hot chicks in his bar, you have to start poaching guys?"

"I'm allowed to try new things," Porsche whines.

Tem narrows his eyes. "Is this about your crush on the mafia guy?"

"This is homophobic," Porsche says, feeling a rising sense of dread, because Tem is one of his best friends, and the worst part of intimacy is being known. "And anyway it was—fine. It was extremely okay. It was no big deal. Turns out I'm still just straight."

"You are a complete fucking clown is what you are," Tem says to him, which turns out to be only the third-meanest thing Tem calls him that night.

The second time Porsche hooks up with a guy, he's actually Thai, which allows for improved communication but provides stunningly little benefit otherwise. King is a solid six inches shorter than Porsche, with glossy black hair and beestung lips, wearing a mesh shirt and cut up shorts. He leans over the bar with a flattering interest and the type of confidence that looks sexy on anybody, hooks one finger into the place where Porsche's shirt button is fighting for its life, and asks if he's interested in going somewhere private after his shift.

Porsche means to say, "Oh, no, thank you, but I'm not interested."

What Porsche actually says is, "Okay. Do you have a place?" and feels Tem's glare searing into his organs from a distance of 10 meters.

The situation isn't improved when, as he's begging off closing, Yok glowers at him like a disapproving parent and asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I don't know," Porsche says, honest. "I mean—what the hell am I ever doing?"

"Oh my God," Yok mutters. "Just—don't get pregnant."

Porsche doesn't get pregnant, but he does get pushed backward onto the creaky mattress of a dingy little apartment so that King can mouth at his dick until he's all the way hard and roll on a condom. Porsche likes to think he's polite in bed, so he tries to like, help, or whatever, but King seems to take Porsche's attempts to participate as adorable but misguided, even if he does say, "sure, if you want to try," when Porsche asks to help finger him open. It's shockingly different and shockingly the same, dipping his fingers into the hot clutch of someone's body, so weird if you think about it too much, but so immediate and close in the moment. The warm weight of another person, the smell of King's hair, the little huffs and noises he makes—those are all so good—and Porsche likes making people feel good, likes when he does something right and King says, "oh, yes, there, there." It takes him out of his own head and plunges him back into the moment, back into a stranger's apartment and a stranger's bed, back to the moment at hand where King is perched in his lap, notching the head of Porsche's cock into the slick, hot furl of his hole and sliding down, down, down.

It's good, in a way that's nothing like it's been with all the women he's fucked against alley walls, and Porsche feels sparks behind the eyes when King holds him down, takes what he needs. It's rough and a little raw, and King leaves a mean little brand of dull fingernail bruises on Porsche's thigh, from where he leaned back to get the angle how he liked and rode Porsche into the sunset.

"Not bad for your first time," King says after, just wandering around scrubbing between his legs with a towel in a way Porsche is certain no woman would be caught dead doing. "You want anything? Water? I have some watermelon?"

"Uh," Porsche says, still wearing a t-shirt, no pants and the used condom, lying on top of King's sheets like a fucking idiot. "No, I'm good?"

"Great, well, it was great hanging out tonight," King says, all business, hands Porsche his jeans and tosses him out on his freshly fucked ass.

"What the fuck," Porsche hisses, to himself, to the unfeeling universe, into the visor of his motorcycle helmet as he steers himself home, feeling knock-kneed and akimbo, run through with so much weirdness it's like he's 13 all over again.

"Well you can stop worrying, I'm definitely straight," Porsche reports the next day, when Tem traps him in the newly installed walk-in fridge and threatens him with a muddler.

Tem looks like he's in physical pain. "Please explain."

"Well I had actual butt sex with a guy—"

"Holy shit," Tem whispers.

"—and it was, I mean. It was whatever? It was good, I guess?" Porsche says, struggling, because it was good and bad and weird and near what he wanted but so far away he'd been angry showering that night, scrubbing under his pits and around his groin. It's like biting into a strawberry to find it tasteless after he's wondered for decades, saved for years, and now he feels embarrassed and pissed about it, still hungry.

"You guess?" Tem asks, sounding increasingly hysterical.

"It was just okay!" Porsche yells. "Like extremely, totally just okay! Like what is even the big deal if that's all it was? It was fine! He was super pretty and I couldn't even get into it so what's the point?"

Tem puts down the muddler but only so he can cover his face with both hands. It leaves Porsche standing there feeling humiliated and getting colder and colder for a long time before Tem says through his fingers, "Porsche, do you want me to tell you what I think?"

Porsche met Tem back in kindergarten, because when all their classmates had been comparing who had the fewest teeth, he and Tem had tied. When Porsche was too scared to go to the boy's bathroom because Jom started a rumor that it was haunted, Tem had kept watch when Porsche had gone to go take a shit in the bushes behind the gym. Tem helps Porsche sweep up his parents' graves, helps Chay with his homework; he knows where the junk drawer in Porsche's house is, where to find the extra toilet paper, the batteries, all of Porsche's hidden hopes.

Porsche absolutely does not want to know what Tem thinks.

"No, I'm good," Porsche babbles, shoulderchecks Tem out of the way, and flees into the front of house before throwing himself at every ravening group of drunk women available for the rest of the night, terrified Tem's going to reveal some truth of the universe Porsche isn't ready to hear yet.



The problem—well, one of the problems—is that Porsche still wants to talk about it. It keeps bubbling up under his skin like an itch, always on the tip of his tongue, but Tem's moved on from trying to give him tough love to giving Porsche tender looks, like Porsche has a terminal case of being a fucking moron and only six months to live. So the point is Porsche has this weird impulse, this jitter, and he can't talk to Tem about it, which means he can't talk to Jom about it, because Jom will just text Tem and Tem will come after Porsche like a surface to air missile. There are no circumstances under which Porsche could talk to Chay about it. Porsche briefly hallucinates talking to Kinn about it, the next time Kinn comes to the bar in his tailored trousers to drink too many Old Fashioneds, and it feels like someone threw a molotov cocktail into Porsche's stomach, so that's right out. Anyway, the point is, for lots of reasons, most of them bad, Porsche's go-to friend for questions about gay sex ends up being Big.

"Hey, we're friends," Porsche says. "Can I ask you about doing it with guys?"

"We're not friends," Big says with absolute conviction and a look on his face like he just watched Porsche murder a basket of kittens.

"So like—how did you know?" Porsche goes on, ignoring him. "That you were into dudes?"

Big stares over Porsche's shoulder, at the wall of liquor behind him, and appears to be suffering the worst possible torment and extremis.

"I'm just asking because like, sex feels good in general right?" Porsche barrels on, because Big can't ignore him forever. Kinn had banished him to the bar so that he could have what looks like the most classic I Hate Being Your Older Brother phone call of all time in a booth four feet away, so there's nowhere Big can go and nothing he can do. "Like how do you know if it's good because you're into dudes, or just friction?"

"You're how old?" Big snaps, breaking. "How can you not know this? Also—how do you know I'm even into men?"

"I have eyes," Porsche says. "I use them to watch you staring at Kinn."

"I'm a bodyguard," Big says. "It's literally my job to stare at Khun Kinn."

"You better hang onto that bodyguard job, because you're a shit actor," Porsche says. "Come on, seriously. I need help. Like gay help."

Big turns away from the wall of liquor so that he can stare at Kinn some more. "I wish I could drink on the job," he says, like Porsche is slowly killing him, and then before Porsche can argue his point anymore, Kinn ends his call and ambles back over.

"That was my cue," Kinn says, indicating his phone and glancing at Big.

"I'll call for the car immediately," Big says, and fucking disappears, dust clouds in his wake, as far away from Porsche and his unanswered question as possible, the dick.

Even worse, it leaves Porsche in the harrowing position of being unsupervised and subjected to all of Kinn's concentrated attention: those dark eyes huge and hungry and thoughtful, staring and staring. It makes Porsche's heart hurt; it makes him shy; it makes him duck his head, nervous, and to scrub at the spotless counter with a rag and ask, "Do you have time for one more? For the road?" too softly, too—everything.

"Not tonight," Kinn tells him. His smile looks a little glassy, too brittle and polished and polite; this isn't the Kinn that Porsche likes best, where he's wrinkled and bitchy and rude, entirely present. "But thank you."

"Of course," Porsche says, feeling hot, feeling lost. "Have a good night."

Kinn leaves Porsche a 500% tip. "You too, Porsche."

It's a lot later, and only into the forgiving dark of his bedroom, that Porsche curls up on his side and stares out his window and whispers, "Be safe." Worse than any secret Tem knows, worse than anything Big could say, that he has to grit his teeth against the words every time Kinn walks away is the worst, most exposing truth of all.

Porsche figures that now that he's ticked those two homosexual boxes, he's done with this weird little experiment. This assumption holds true until he finds himself in the alleyway behind Hum Bar again, only this time his knees hurt, bone grinding against the wet cement paving through his polyester work pants as he stares up at some guy who'd followed Porsche out during his break. Kinn's been a no-show at the bar for more than a month: there hasn't been anything in the newspapers, there hasn't been anything in the society pages, there hasn't been anything on the police scanners. Porsche blames this radio silence for the series of poor decisions he makes that night, beginning with taking two fortifying shots three-quarters of the way through his shift, and concluding with getting facefucked less than 10 meters away from a bunch of trash cans.

Long after tonight's random gay interlude disappears, Tem finds Porsche sitting on a stack of palettes in the back, letting his cigarette burn down to the filter.

"What the fuck," Tem says. "What happened to you? Are you okay? Are you crying?"

Porsche scrubs at his face. "No," he lies, because he'd definitely been crying earlier, choking on dick, and his mouth feels bruised, swollen. He's afraid to see what he looks like right now, if he would look as obvious as he feels: used up, if just anybody could see him and know immediately how much he likes how his throat hurts, the way he keeps sweeping his tongue over his teeth, chasing the bitter salt taste of cum in his mouth.

Tem's face goes through all five stages of grief before he swings back to anger, shoves at Porsche until there's enough room on the palette to sit on his right, and steals his cigarette.

#fanfic #kinnporsche #whittled down by another war #wip

[maidofdarkness23]

Skulpine Stuff lolololol NSFW Warning

Skulduggery : You look good in that hoodie. Nefarian : You know where else I'd look good? Skulduggery , zero hesitation: My bed. Nefarian , at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

-

Nefarian : Skulduggery , you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right? Skulduggery , naked in Nefarian 's bed: No, I absolutely do not. Nefarian , already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

-

Skulduggery : Hey, about that love letter you sent me- Nefarian : *blushes* What are your thoughts? Skulduggery : The fourth sentence- Nefarian : Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I- Skulduggery : It’s “you’re” not “your”.

-

Nefarian : I think we should kiss. Skulduggery : And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

-

Skulduggery : Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine. Nefarian : Marry me.

-

Nefarian : Bro, I had a dream we fucked. Skulduggery : Bro, relax it was just a dream. Nefarian : Huh, gay, I wouldn’t fuck you. Skulduggery : You wouldn’t? Nefarian : I mean, unless you want to-

-

Skulduggery : Pros and cons of dating me. Skulduggery : Pros. You'll be the cute one. Skulduggery : Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

-

Nefarian : I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Skulduggery : But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Nefarian : O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Skulduggery : Is it working?

-

Skulduggery : I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight. Nefarian : What kind of animal is the Pink Panther? Skulduggery , already taking off their clothes: God, Nefarian , you’re so fucking stupid.

-

Nefarian : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Skulduggery : It was autocorrect. Nefarian : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Skulduggery : Yes.

-

Skulduggery : Wow, they really hate us. Nefarian : Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic. Skulduggery : But we’re not gay, Nefarian . Nefarian : Skulduggery : Nefarian : We’re not?

-

Nefarian , trying to flirt with Skulduggery : I think both of our families suck.

-

Nefarian : Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

-

Nefarian : We both look very handsome tonight. Skulduggery : You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." Nefarian : I couldn't take that chance.

-

*Nefarian is crying after a breakup* Skulduggery : There there, Nefarian . Nefarian , still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room? Skulduggery : Great question—

-

Nefarian : Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid. Skulduggery : You always act stupid. Skulduggery : Skulduggery : Wait...

#skulduggery pleasant #nefarian serpine #skulpine