#Behaviour

[ineffectualdemon]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

#relationships #friendships #behaviour #mental health

[helpful-writing-tips]

power signalling

Kneeling.

Ordered to kneel as punishment or as a show of deference.

Shoved physically to the ground by hands on their shoulders, maybe a kick to the back of the knee.

Picking themself up off the ground but only getting as far as hands and knees.

Crawling because they haven't got the strength to stand anymore.

Dropping to their knees from exhaustion or despair.

Personal space.

Casually invading it.

Uninvited touch - from the deeply creepy to something as simple as a firm hand on the shoulder.

Standing too close - especially if taller or otherwise physically stronger.

Conversely, hurrying to get out of someone's way.

Eye contact.

Staring someone down. Who is the first to look away?

Averting eyes for one's social superiors. Trying to de-escalate by avoiding eye contact.

Too frightened or ashamed to look someone in the eye.

Insisting that someone maintain eye contact while you're talking to them. Insisting that someone never look you in the eye.

Singling someone out just by looking at them.

More generally, Attention.

The room falls quiet when they walk in.

Who cuts in, and who gets talked over. Ignoring those who are beneath your attention.

The excited attention given to the object of respect and idolization.

The careful, wary focus given to a potential threat.

Deliberately attending to something else to appear less threatening. Deliberately burying oneself in something else to avoid attracting unwanted attention.

Codified status behaviours.

Bowing to one's superiors. Bonus points if there are differentiated kinds of bowing for different status differentials.

Soldiers coming to attention when a superior officer comes.

Saluting. Who greets whom first?

Serving food in a particular order.

Standing up when a respected person enters the room.

Non-verbal threats.

Just resting a hand on a weapon, or perhaps even just near a weapon.

Cracking knuckles or rolling shoulders. Clenched fists. The little come-get-some-then life of the chin.

Stepping from a conversational stance into one that's balance for fight or flight.

Pointing a weapon at someone. Casually brushing aside a weapon.

Conversely, de-escalation and surrender.

Open hands, spread in front of them. Hands above head.

(Raised slowly, transitioning from the simple whoa-calm-down gesture to full on surrender as the situation gets tenser.)

Going still. Slow, careful movements being sure to keep hands where they can be seen. Laying down weapons.

Hands on head. Getting down on the floor. Deliberately making oneself vulnerable to prove non-hostile (or non-resisting) intent.

Alternately, deliberately showing "vulnerability" to demonstrate how little of a threat you consider the other person.

The slouch of villainy. Open posture, casual, relaxed in the face of apparent danger.

Casually putting weapons away or turning one's back, confident that they won't do anything.

Signs of fear.

Flinching. Trembling. Closed defensive posture. Tension. Backing away. Fidgeting. Lip-biting.

Arms hugged close to chest. Or refusing to lower defences. Checking for escape routes. Trying to insist that they don't come any closer.

Offer of or requests for help.

Extending a hand to help someone up off the ground. Reaching out a hand in silent plea.

Do they have to ask for help? Are they willing to accept it? Do they get a choice? Who has plenty and who has to rely on the other's goodwill?

Picking someone up off the ground. Carrying them. (Dropping them?)

Adjusting someone's clothes. Withholding aid.

credit:@just-horrible-things // @whetstonefires suggests:

A character can vastly expand their area of influence by laying a hand on a table, for example. If you're standing on opposite sides of a large table, and one of you puts your hand down, that can symbolically take you up into the other party's personal space in a much subtler and more deniable way than actually getting up in their face.

This can be used equally well to convey affection or threat.

#power signalling #behaviour #non-verbal threat #surrender #writing tips #advice

[jaubaius]

That's a weird looking dog.

Source

#goats #animals #pets #cute #behaviour #adorable #i like your dog

[arisingsun]

People CHANGE. Yes they do . A person cannot be the same person,whom he used to be ten years ago . We all change . We need to change. We cannot live the way we used to be . We cannot let the same things hurt us again , again and again. We need to grow out of it .

But change for your betterment , your happiness, and most importantly for yourself.

#quotes #inspiration #motivation #self improvement #self help #self healing #self love #be the change #change #prople change #words #quote #spilling thoughts #spilled words #call of the hour #behaviour #be true to yourself #harsh reality #wordsofwisdom

[kamala-laxman]

Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior. You are beneath the thinker. You are the stillness beneath the mental noise. You are the love and joy beneath the pain. Eckhart Tolle

#eckhart tolle #thougths #behaviour #love #joy

[psychology-daily]

#psychology #control #quotes #energy #behaviour

[flock-talk]

This video has it all:

Gay Love

Coming on TOO STRONG

Foot fetish

Synchronized Scratches

Attempting to shove your husband off a cliff

#Toto was on to something with that foot presentation #newt was just pretending not to like it to avoid judgement #newt #toto #preening #allopreening #cuddles #integration #introductions #behaviour #regurgitation

[thehollowwriter]

I've witnessed first hand how fucking awful an overly controlling and manipulatuve mother can be.

It destroys your mental health. It makes you question your own worth and intelligence. It makes you unsure of who or what to believe. It makes you terrified of others perceiving you in anything but a positive light. And that's just mentally.

When people say Riddle's backstory was "tame" I want to strangle them because no, no it fucking wasn't. Just because she (supposedly) isn't beating him doesn't mean he has a "less bad" or "less tragic" childhood.

#quinn quips #riddle rosehearts #heartslabyul #twisted wonderland #riddle's mom is so abusive and terrible #just because she isn't said to harm riddle physically through hitting or whatnot doesn't mean his past is tame #she was literally starving him #she stunted his growth bc of how controlling she was of his diet #she destroyed riddle as a person and ruined any chances he had of interact with the outside world normalcy #*normally #i well tell you right fucking now if he somehow never overblotted he would have been fired from whatever job he ended up in bc of his- #behaviour #she is so damaging to his wellbeing #for those wondering my mom is similar to this to my sister just not over what she eats or her grades or her job

[wayti-blog]

“Everything has a spirit and it's all connected. If you think about that, if you live your life by it, then you're less likely to cause any hurt. It's like how our bodies go back into the ground when we die, so that connects us to the earth. If you dump trash, you're dumping it on your and my ancestors. Or to bring it down to its simplest level: treat everything and everybody the way you want to be treated, because when you hurt someone, you're only hurting yourself.”

Charles de Lint

#spirit #soul #love #energy #frequency #life #nature #source #vibrant #alive #connection #oneness #attunement #respect #honor #feeling #thinking #actions #behaviour #being #be the change #cause and effect

[glassedice]

Pet Shop Boys - Behaviour (1990)

Another batch of photo shoots from PSB I wanted upscaled and uploaded here. The third picture (from the 'So Hard' single cover) needed the captions manually removed to preserve the full resolution shot.

#pet shop boys #neil tennant #chris lowe #behaviour #synthpop #upscale

[johnnyslittleanimalblog]

Not all who wander are lost by Shelly Lynn Hachey O Via Flickr: With only one week of winter left, this snowy will return to the tundra from visiting the prairies-safe travels

#canon #Canada #owl #talons #hoot #perched #behaviour #wild #wildlife #bird #oiseau #hibou #feather #watch #listen #predator #look #visiting #birds #owls #winter #migrating #beautiful #squinting #smirk #post #travel #exploring #Prairie #land

[mister-faltine]

Wait, Marvel put Clea in DBD and I wasn't warned about it?! ⛄️

Dead By Daylight - Sable Ward.

Marvel Comics - Clea Strange.

#Marvel #Marvel Comics #Behaviour #Dead By Daylight #Comics #Comic Books #Horror Games #Video Games #DBD #MCU #Clea #Clea Strange #Sable #Sable Ward #Marvel Characters #DBD Characters #Marvel Heroes #DBD Survivor #Heroes And Villains #Survivors And Killers #Doctor Strange #Strange Tales #Sorceress Supreme #Faltine #Dark Dimension #Charlize Theron #Stephanie Hans #Multiverse Of Madness #Comic Art

[jaubaius]

No, this is for you!

Source

#funny video #birds #parrots #behaviour #hilarious

[unbfacts]

#Dogs #Facts #Animals #behaviour

[kamala-laxman]

The secret is in action - here and now. It is your behavior that blinds you to yourself. Disregard whatever you think yourself to be and act as if you were absolutely perfect - whatever your idea of perfection may be. All you need is courage. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

#sri nisargadatta maharaj #action #behaviour #courage

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Amare Montessori

* * * *

“Our care of the child should be governed, not by the desire to make him learn things, but by the endeavor always to keep burning within him that light which is called intelligence.” ― Maria Montessori

#Montessori #Maria Montessori #Ashleigh Warner #feeling #behaviour #children #childhood #primary causes #education #quotes