#I hate them so fucking much and I hate all the companies that pander to them

[silvermoon424]

Sanitization of language in the name of appeasing advertisers is killing the internet (among other issues related to sanitization to make things "corporate-friendly"). I know it's especially bad on TikTok, but I watch a lot of YouTube and so many people have resorted to having to say shit like "unalive themselves," censor titles, censor words in the video by muting them, etc so their videos don't get demonetized or age-restricted.

I fucking hate advertisers. Death to all of them.

#like advertisers are single-handedly making the internet nothing but rounded corners and decor like a sterile hospital #I hate them so fucking much and I hate all the companies that pander to them #fuck capitalism #death to capitalism #rant #fuck advertising #internet #internet culture

[queenofallimagines]

Oooh I have a Obey Me writing idea for you but you can ignore if you don’t wanna do it. So when you first come to the Devildom, almost all of the brothers are cold/petty asf to the MC (in my Pisces opinion). Imagine MC’s like “fuck that” and doesn’t try to pander to them as much as the game script wants you to. Like the story still progresses bc the MC is still nosy when it counts, but she doesn’t center them around her world and instead gets closer someone who was nicer/more helpful in the beginning (say like Solomon or Simeon). I’m sorryyy I’m not hating on the brothers but realistically you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Like yeah being a tsundere is cute to an extent but most of em were doing too much in the beginning. Maybe a reaction from the brothers (doesn’t have to be specific for each brother) as they slowly start to warm up to MC but they can’t stand that they’re not gonna be as close as they wanted to be. And either Solomon or Simeon (or both) reacting to you getting closer to them ;) Again this request may be highly specific so you can either tweak it or toss it if it doesn’t sound appealing to write. It can be SFW or NSFW. I love your writing!

A/n: YOURE SO RIGHT BESTIE!! Like the dick ain’t good enough for them to be all over MC like that CRAZY disrespectful 😒 like in my head I was being fake nice to them to secure the pacts until like you make one with Satan and then it’s like okay, maybe I can be genuine w yall. Bc like I’m making friends w any of the billions of other demons there like Diavolo is all but head over heels for you.

MC:

- I’m so on board with this

- Like if they want to go low I can take it right to hell

- They want to throw UP

- Mammon thinks you’re joking but when you fr never come ask him for help he’s crying himself to sleep

- Asmo hates being ignored so after that time in the maze(catacombs? wtf was those) he’s antsy that you don’t really talk to him

- They feel you having fun through your pacts but when you’re around just them it’s like nothing

- Like when a lightbulb dies

- Student council meetings become increasingly more tense as they watch you get along with Solomon and Luke and Simeon and you’re cold to them

- They don’t even really realize they the problem at first

- Lucifer always itching to punish someone so when he snaps at you and you clapback and the issue never comes up again he’s a little disappointed

- Like him and Satan make fun of your grades?

- Bet. you’re being tutored by Solomon and a demon in your potions class

- Like bitch how the FUCK were we ever supposed to take demon philosophy before?? We just got here!!

- Refuse to work with them on any school activities

- You and mammon partnered up to decorate for some school event?

- You work only when he’s not around

- Beel is the one who sounds the alarm by realizing it’s hard to keep track of you

- Like he’ll go asking where you are and nobody can even say when the last time they saw you was

- Belphagor tried to pull that “I’m a human” shit and you didn’t visit the attic for like three weeks😭

- Had to actually force himself to be genuinely nice

- Remember how they said they sent a demon to like the human realm to pretty much do the same thing? who was that because I don’t think we ever hear about them😭

- But you get their number and talk about your shared experiences

- Fish out of water if you will!

- Lucifer WANTS to yell but you do the bare minimum of what they ask he can’t mandate you to join family movie night😔

- Asks a pouting mammon where tf you are and he lists off like any number of random demons you could be chilling with

- Asmo is burning with envy as he catches you at a party with a group of old acquaintinces

- Can see they are so obviously enjoying your company

- Tries to steal the attention for himself

- Levi seeing you on other mfs socials cosplaying w them and doing a TSL marathon like he’s right there??

- Dinner be so awkward but you brush it off like a G

- only texts the family group chat for confirmation, dinners ready, and when is lord diavolo asking for everyone

- Lucifer comes to Dia’s house bc paperwork and he plans to spill the tea when he sees you and him already HAVING TEA🤨

- Like excuse me??

- “Ah just who I was looking for-“

- “Sorry Lucifer I have exams to study for I was just asking Lord Diavolo some history questions I’ll be on my way.”

- He’s literally WILTING💀

- Whines to Dia and he’s like I’m sorry ?? have yall not been spending time with them??

- “Yall….LIVE together. I ain’t out just you and them in the same house for no reason??”

- He can’t eleven rly do shit bc you’re integrating into demon society very well and are pretty sociable

- Like you gain regular popularity but not through them

- Rest of RAD forgets you’re under their protection tbh

- Like you’re your own entity and not at all attached to them so when a random demon is caught talking about like chilling w you and mammon is like IM THEIR FIRST MAN YOU GOTTA AS ME

- he looses about 500 years when the demon goes

- “Oh yeah you are their hired help huh?”

- Yeah he’s picking out a coffin

- Bc he rly tries to curb his tsun behaviors but he hasn’t made it to that level with you where he can be genuine in private

- Levi too like he calls you a stupid normie on reflex and is whimpering when he sees he’s been blocked on devilgram

- What did yall expect??

- Beel is the ONLY one who you regularly talk to

- And even then he’s got his own stuff going on

- But you guys always eat together

- Jaws dropping when he offered you food

- I imagine Beel is like “oh they don’t be talking to yall?….That’s crazy”

- Precious boy so unaware of the conflict

- Nor bc he’s dumb but he’s like “tf that got to do with me?? MC likes me.”

- Very “okay what does that mean to me tho” energy

- I imagine after the Levi pact arc when mammon is wrapping your sprained wrist and he’s all

- “If I can’t come save ya next time, Die.”

- You pull away completely

- Even Satan is having to control himself be he sees your purposefully avoiding him

- He would congratulate you on how well you’re dodging his advances if it didn’t piss him off so bad

- Keeps it a little secret to himself that he can feel your pact mark burning right under his skin whenever you talk to them

- Played hot and cold to see how he can make you less mad when he interacts with you

- Lucifer is so desperate he’s fr about to make a pact early to feel any sort of proof you exist

- Idk if peacocks do it but you know how birds will rip out their own feathers under stress?

- Yeah That’s HIM😭

- Barbados just sit back and observe

- Even the season 3(?) characters come in early! Like you meet 13 as an extension of Solomon and y’all are thick as thieves

- You’re flourishing in your Magic practices bc you still have their pacts, them helping you with magic or not you’re still not one to be fucked with

- Mephistopheles is so giddy that you’re close to him and not Lucifer

- Offers to hide you in his news room to avoid them

- “It’s so quiet a perfect place to study!”

- Sees them scrambling to get ahold of you but your in his office w your phone on silent

- “Oh hmmm, idk I saw them in the forbidden section of the library maybe check there? Weird y’all supposed to be watching them and have no clue about their whereabouts.”

- Lucifer can take it NO LONGER when we’re about right before lesson 16 and he’s making a scene at dinner

- “Why do you never stay in this house? You a mere human think you’re too good to talk?”

- “That. That shit right there is why I don’t talk to any of you. Do you not notice how rude you are?”

- Before Satan can even say his “we’re demons” line you’re cutting his ass off

- “Why would I want to spend time around people who threaten my life for fun?🤨my job is to heal demon human relations and I’m doing that just not with the help of YOU.”

- Dips to purgatory hall bc it’s not Solomon’s night to cook

- They all just kinda 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍for a few days bc wtf can they say to that??

- Like you’re absolutely right

- You were already humbling Lucifer before but now he has this irrational anger towards you

- But in a nice way??

- He’s like packing your lunch and throwing away whatever you had

- Pushing you out the way to do whatever chore or task you’re doing

- Makes your favorite foods when is his turn to cook dinner

- Like he’s completely unhinged

- To stir the pot let’s say this is lesson 16 and they show up to all that

- Can you imagine??

- Their filled with even more regret than before!! They never got a chance to establish a deep bond with you

- Not really. Not like you have with everyone else

- And now you’re gone??

- They barely even care about the Lilith reveal like😭

- They do everything they can to win your favor but it’s like the end of the program now who’s to say it was enough??

- Beel is elated while the othered are broken that you and belphie become close

- Poor belphie is exhausted w all this drama so to make amends even more he goes out of his way to heal the gaps between you and the others so it’s all good now

- Not Lucifer tho

- He’s still moping

- Can’t hurt his pride by saying how glad he is that your back

- Can’t tell you how he watched his world fall apart when he saw the light leave your eyes

- DEFINITELY can’t tell you how he prayed to Lilith that he would protect you from now on and that he’s sorry

- All of RAD throws a huge goodbye party for you

- Lots of tears

- During the movie night of like that last few days

- As a little treat for you, you still sleep w Lucifer lmao

- Like you sneak out to go to the bathroom and none of the brother see you for the rest of the night?? Yeah we knew already

- He WILL cry jsyk

- He’s pressing kisses all over you and holding you like you’ll disappear

- Mumbling praises into your skin

- The most he’s ever said “I love you” in his entire existence

- Looking at you with teary eyes

- Can’t keep up his prideful façade

- He’s okay with being vulnerable to you

- Again hit him w the “my morning star”

- And he will go crazy

- Tears up when you leave

- Like he can’t even front like he’s not about to go throw up

- They’re all anxious that they won’t ever see you again because you still hate them

- I promise you on everything in all three realms

- They almost do NOT let you leave when you go

- “Thank you for my time here, I love all of you.”

- They are inconsolable

#my writing #x black reader #obey me #obey me x black reader #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #answered asks #obey me x reader #lucifer x mc #lucifer x reader #slight n*fw #mammon x reader #obey me mammon #leviathan x reader #obey me leviathan #satan x reader #satan obey me #asmodeous #asmodeus x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #belphegor x reader #was writing like 5 Fics pls someone teach me how to write again #I’ve started over like 7 times #cries

[arttrampbelle]

Cw:vent

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

If you don't for a second think them forcing sonya to have a child for plot isn't sexist. Like for one damn minute.

Then I'm sorry for you and your delusions on what a healthy written woman character is and I'm sorry that you suck understanding how gross and forced that ship is.

Like its already bad enough we irl have this shit. But why tf does sonya NEED TO HAVE CASSIE?! Why so dudebros can have their "cute quirky blonde Harley quinn rip off" to jerk at? Hmmm?! So they can try to pander to the young crowd like the boomers n crusty guys they are? Why why is she so important in the grand scheme of things when none of that even matters? Because in the end,everything is so fucked up that who cares who dies. Because there is no real threat or stakes. And none they keep.

Because they wanna milk it for all its worth till it's practically dead or people hate it so much that is isnt profitable for NRS.

Yeah. Im sorry. Sonya x johnny is toxic and a load of horseshit to me. And on god im sick of seeing it. And im sick of people justifying it.

I could go on and on a thousand ways why that ship is problematic and toxic,why them having sonya reduced to birthing a baby and thinking that's so fucking revolutionary,and when neither of them wanting kids or liking each other that way solely because one or both were "horny and desperate"?! But you know fuck how us gamers feel right? Like nrs said the big middle finger to any real character development for overused tropes and one liners because money and they care not if it completely destroys the series or the characters that we love because they are selfish prick. But you know.....

People only wanna see "cute tropes" instead the characters having any sort of substance and integrity. -_-

And im not just pissed at the ship. Im pissed at a company that uses a ship to disguise the blatant bigotry,sexism,low key racist shit they pull,the gross handling of certain characters. And many other shady shit. People let slide because they wanna get a quick fix. And people justifying it because they find it "cute" people who fall for this i swear it says a lot about them. It really does.

I can love a series and a thing while also pointing out that it can be problematic af in areas.

No mk has never been the most ideal. There have always been flaws. Hell the game is violent af.

But when you move past the flash and awe and the gore n corny ass glitz. There is still some things that need to be worked on,and things that need to stop.

But again. Nobody's gonna say anything because they only care about surface level crap like shipping.

Like i self ship,and shit is cool and all. No hate.

But....

If you can't actually talk about a thing you love without pointing out it's problem areas.

Then you are a consumer and a god damn fool.

The problems with mk goes beyond ships. Its much worse. I say this wholeheartedly as a fan.

We need to do better. Fans needs to do better.

And NRS DEFINITELY NEEDS TO DO BETTER!

#vent #cw vent #mortal kombat

[sugawara-sweetheart]

𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯 (𝔪)

❥pro hero!shoto todoroki x fem!reader

❥warnings: noncon, yandere, nipple play, office sex, weight descriptor used (maybe once or twice)

❥word count: 2k

❣︎anon: I saw your request post- I’m pretty new to your blog so I’m not sure who you write for- but maybe something with pro hero!Todoroki and his new assistant? One that’s used to receiving and handing out casual touches, but when they give him that type of physical treatment, he interprets it wrong, and thinks they like him? (Not sure if you write non-con, I understand if you don’t) It could either end with them being hit with a sex polled quirk, or him just taking what he wants..? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

another late night working. the streets outside have slowed down, darkness blankets the sky and todoroki is still at his desk, filling out paperwork. his head drums and his mouth is filled with the taste of coffee, exhausted from patrolling and training new interns but the day isn’t done yet. he’s just glad he has your company.

“you should go home soon, shoto.” you smile as you enter his office, bringing him a cup of sweet-smelling tea. you always make it perfectly too, exactly how he likes it that every sip has warmth running through him and he swears your fingers are magic. or maybe it’s every part of you- every atom of your being is ethereal and beautiful. “you work so hard, you deserve a good rest.” as you place the tea down on his desk by the stack of papers he has to get through, he sees how your eyes practically shine with admiration towards him. and it’s not superficial admiration- not simply admiring his unique quirk or pandering to him because of his father’s fame- but genuine sheer admiration, respect, love.

“just ten more minutes.” todoroki smiles and you laugh as you reach out to squeeze his shoulder, settling on the edge of his desk. you did that often, sit at his desk with you tight costume squeezing your thighs as you reach out to pat his shoulders. sometimes you’d ruffle his hair, give him a little side hug, graze your fingers over his arm- but he isn’t oblivious. not anymore. he knows exactly how you feel towards him, and in all truthfulness, he feels it all for you too. “i’m not ready to go home yet, not whilst you’re still here.” you laugh merrily at his words, your eyes crinkling so prettily with your smile that todoroki can’t help but feel his own smile grow. everything about you is so wonderful- your quirk, your work ethic, your sweet nature. you’re perfect for him. the gentleness, the patience, the understanding and sheer love he lacked so much in his upbringing- you held it all for him. a warmth after so much cold.

“you know i always like to keep you company.” you say. your hand still remains on his shoulder, your eyes piercing into his. he knows you love him. he knows you’re waiting for him to do the right thing, to be the chivalrous gentleman you crave and take what you both desire so much.

“good. only keep mine too. no one else.” a small crease etches between your brows and you slowly retract your hand as todoroki squeezes your thigh, groaning at the soft plushness and warmth of your body.

“well, you are my only boss.” it’s an awkward chuckle and you’re about to slide off the desk but he’s faster, standing up immediately and caging you between the wood with his tall body. his hands fit perfectly onto your hips, grasping you tight as he lowers his face to yours, lips ghosting yours.

“no.” your eyes are wide, body still. “i mean, be mine only. be my love. be with me forever-” he groans as he nuzzles his face against yours, eyes fluttering shut as he inhales in the sweet scent of your body. “be mine forever.”

“sh-shoto, i think you’ve got-”

“it’s okay.” he cuts you off quickly with a kiss to your lips, cupping your face and silencing you with his lips pressed to yours, groaning at the saccharine taste of you even though you splutter and try to prise him away from you. “it’s okay- you don’t have to speak, you don’t have to say anything.” you don’t return his wide smile as he strokes your face tenderly. he didn’t realise you were this shy. “i know everything- all your little touches, how much you care for me, how sweet you are- i know you love me. and i love you too.” you gasp when he takes your hand, pressing it to his crotch and his head falls back with a soft sigh as you feel his hardening dick pressing against the fabric of his hero suit. “look what you do to me.”

“shoto, please-” your head turns away as he tries to lean in to kiss you, his lips instead tracing along your jaw as his hands find the zipper of the hero suit. “i think you’ve misunderstood.”

“you don’t have to be shy.” he murmurs against your skin, hips slowly rutting his hardened cock into your stomach as he peels down your suit. “i’ll take care of you. forever.”

todoroki inhales sharply at the sight of your beautiful body. you shudder, gripping the edge of the table with your face contorted with worry but all he can focus on is mouthing kisses along your collarbones, hands massaging your breasts.

“hey, don’t be scared.” he coos gently, tongue flicking over your pebbling nipples. “i’ll make you feel good, you look so beautiful.” he grunts as he pulls his cock out of the confines of his pants, hardening as he strokes it whilst you’re stuck between his body and the desk.

“shoto- i’m not- please.” your eyes fill with tears and todoroki is gentle as he cups your chin, slotting his lips between yours as his hand delves between your thighs. his cheeks dampen with your tears but he understands why you’d be scared, he knows it’s daunting and you’re his assistant- but it’s okay, he’ll take care of you. you’re the love of his life, he knows exactly how to treat you. his fingers swirl your clit slowly, dampening with your slick as you tremble, your fingers circling his wrist when he starts to pump his fingers into your tight hole. your walls cling to his limbs, slick squelching louder as sounds fall from your lips- neither of you are sure whether they’re cries or moans.

“are you going to cum?” shoto mumbles, head lowering to wrap his lips around your nipple. he sucks, tongue swirling and flicking over it as your legs quiver around his hand, walls fluttering as your tear-stained face falls back.

“shoto- no, no- i don’t-” but your body can’t deny the pleasure pulsating through as your walls tighten around his curling fingers, a moan falling from your lips when he rubs against that spongy patch deep inside and wetness gushes from you. you’re sobbing as you cum, shoto’s fingers fucking you through your high as he kisses along your chest, along your throat before he meets your lips, swallowing down your cries.

“it’s okay, it’s okay,” he shushes you gently, one hand cupping the back of your head and pulling your face into the warmth of his shoulder whilst he pulls the other from between your legs. a thick sheen of your release glistens on his fingers, making him groan as he slips his fingers between his lips. you stare at him with horrified glassy eyes, watching him suck and lick his fingers clean, groaning at the taste of you with drunken, heavy-lidded eyes. “god, i love you so much- you taste so good- want you so bad.”

“sh-shoto-” you sniffle as you cling to his shoulders, squirming on the desk but he doesn’t see it- he doesn’t see the pelading in your eyes, begging him. or maybe he does. he just reads it entirely differently, as he pushes you further onto the desk, hands spreading your legs gently but firmly.

“hm, it’s okay- i know you want more.” he mumbles, pressing his forehead against yours as he grips his cock, stroking it slowly. “i’ll give it to you,” he grunts as he slides his dick along your folds, your warm wet pussy gliding along, dampening the veiny skin with your slick. “and when we go home today, we can do it again and again.” your head spins as you feel the leaking cockhead prod at your entrance, heart racing and blood ringing in your ears. you’re seeing black spots. “i’ll never let you leave me.”

the stretch burns. your body goes slack but shoto’s there- he’s fucking everywhere as he holds you up against his chest, mouthing kisses at your sweaty skin and groaning against it, his breath hot and wet as he slides his cock into your cunt. it hurts, even with his hand slipping between your bodies, swirling your clit slow with warm stimulation running through you.

“you feel so good.” he groans, head falling into your shoulder. “so tight- you’re so perfect for me. i love you so much.” he slowly rocks his hips into you, your walls tightening as you groan with discomfort, with utter disgust and hate but you can’t do anything. your body feels heavy, even with your mind screaming at you to fucking move. bite him, scratch him, use your quirk, why can’t you just fight back? “love you so much- you’re all i think about. you feel so much better than i ever imagined.” his thrusts grow faster, deeper with his thick cock rubbing at all the sensitive spots in your cunt. even with your mind going blank, the tears growing dry on your face as you cling to shoto, letting him fuck into your pussy with loud sinful moans, you can’t stop your body from reacting to the warmth of the pleasure. his fingers rub your swelling clit, pushing you closer to the edge as his cock rubs against your spongy walls, the pressure building in the pit of your stomach before your orgasm hits. you cry heavily as you cum, shoto’s fast thrusts prolonging your high.

but he doesn’t stop, even as it hurts and you’re pressed flat against the table- instead he fucks you faster, desperate with heavy moans as his hands grope your tits.

“you looked so pretty creaming all over my cock.” he sighs, his head falling between your breasts as he continues to fuck you. it hurts now, cockhead nudging into your cervix as you cry out at the dull pain. “i can’t wait to fuck you more- make you into my cute little housewife. i’d treat you so well- i’d fuck you everywhere, over this desk, in the morning, at night- everything you want i’d give you.”

“shoto, please stop.” it’s the first time you could choke out the words, your hands pushing at his chest but he’s too strong, a deep grunt falling from his lips as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“soon, baby. i’ll cum soon- so deep inside this pretty cunt. i’ll let everyone know you’re all mine.”

“no!” it’s a desperate shriek, easily drowned out by his heavy moans as he ruts faster, fucking you for his own pleasure whilst you wince. “please stop- it hurts- stop!”

it’s too late. his head falls back as his cock twitches and you feel the sticky warmth of cum flooding your cunt. there’s so much of it, filling you up entirely and leaking in globules from your abused hole when he pulls out, panting with his cheeks flushed pink. you can’t even cry anymore as he presses his forehead to yours, cupping your face with a smile tugging at his lips.

“you’re my sweet girl. forever. tell me you love me.”

you should hate him. he’s violated you, broken your trust, broken you. there’s an ache between your legs and hurt wracking through your chest but those piercing blue eyes look so desperate searching your face. there’s a horrible twinge as his fingers grip you tighter.

“i love you, shoto.”

#dark bnha #yandere bnha #yandere bnha imagines #yandere bnha x reader #yandere bnha fic #yandere shoto imagines #yandere shoto #yandere todoroki #yandere todoroki imagines #yandere todoroki x reader #yandere shoto x reader #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha fic #mha fic #mha imagines #mha x reader #yandere mha #todoroki x y/n #todoroki x reader #todoroki imagines #todoroki fic #shoto todoroki #shoto imagines #shoto x reader #darkconfectionery #tw.noncon #tw.yandere

[tonystarktogo]

Could I pretty pretty please get some more on the time travel crack au? Maybe when it gets out that Steve, Bruce, andThor are technically from the future?

As much as I’d love to jump to that part, I think it’s funnier necessary to cover a few other tidbits first. For example:

Tony misses whatever discussion follows Thor’s -- hah, got it right in one, he hasn’t lost his touch completely yet -- arrival before the god carries his brother off towards a containment cell with the sort of cheer that causes Tony to carefully keep at least two people between himself and Thor, lest the asshole tries to hug him again.

Not that it can be that big a loss considering they all -- sans Loki -- end up back in the command center of the helicarrier, where Fury glares balefully at the most recent invader of his precious aircraft that clearly isn’t meant to stand in the way of gods.

A glare Thor aggressively doesn’t notice. Likely because he’s too busy partaking in the on-going discussion on what to do next.

And by ‘what to do next’ Tony doesn’t mean the expected we-were-invaded-by-a-mindcontrolled-alien-nutbag-and-there’s-probably-more-out-there-seems-like-the-kind-of-oh-shit-situation-we-should-plan-for. No. That would be reasonable and expected and Tony’s spent all of three hours in the company of the esteemed Captain America and already he can tell you that Rogers is none of that.

[Which, not cool, Capsicle. Dazzling and befuddling people with crazily brilliant ideas is his job.]

[continues under the cut]

So far, Tony’s been paying attention for ten minutes. In that time, Rogers and Thor have gotten into an argument over how to handle Loki -- which holy shit, that went from a calm, rational discussion to a battle to the death between two superhumans on a sugar high in zero point four seconds -- that Tony is so not gonna touch. [Nope. Let some other fool [i.e. Rogers] throw himself head-first into norse god family drama, Tony’s own feelings concerning his family are complicated enough.] That conversation devolved into a not-openly-fighting-while-totally-fighting stand-off between Rogers and Banner over a way too bitter comment from the latter [something about ‘you’d know all about choosing one brother over the other, wouldn’t you’ which what?], which in turn gets derailed by Banner needling Thor about the merits of beheading over stabbing.

Romanoff had the good sense to disappear -- probably to interrogate Loki while his apparently protective big brother is distracted, now that Tony thinks about it. 

Unfortunately that still leaves Tony stuck here, having to play the role of the mature adult because no one else fucking will. Tony hates being responsible. It’s like being back in high school and being left to do all the work on your own in group project.

[Tony failed that project. Got a straight up zero on purpose because spite is a wonderful motivator. Which, now that Tony thinks about it, doesn’t say anything promising about the current situation.]

Tony leans even further back in his seat, only balancing on the backlegs of the chair, to give Fury a very sharp, very judgemental look.

These are the people you’re betting Earth’s survival on, that look says.

Fury’s already pissed off expression darkens further, which brightens Tony mood substantially. That one of the suit’s sensors flashes green twice in quick succession less than a minute later really just makes for a delicious cherry on the top. Or more precisely a good excuse to ditch this trainwreck of a match-making attempt.

“Whoops,” Tony says, clearly audible but not too loud to draw real attention from the three [still arguing-while-pretending-not-to] stooges on the other end of the room. “Looks like I gotta take this call.”

He jiggles his fingers at Fury. The guy rolls his eyes -- probably jealous that he doesn’t have an excuse himself, that bitch face doesn’t fool Tony -- but no one tries to stop him.

“Alright, J, what do you have for me?”

*

Tony pretends not to notice the shuffling footsteps. Glances at the disturbingly normal clock on the wall that is so not up-to-date with the rest of the technology in the room, it must be an inside joke. Tony would love to meet the SHIELD agent behind it -- it can’t be easy, being the only person with a sense of humor in an entire agency.

30 minutes.

Well. That’s longer than Tony thought he’d get. JARVIS still hasn’t cracked the last layer on SHIELD’s really fucked up dirt -- and given what he’s already found, that says a lot -- but it’s only a matter of time now. Besides, Tony’s got a job to do.

“To- Stark.”

“Rogers.”

Tony doesn’t turn. Neither does he stop typing.

“What are you doing?”

Tony scoffs. He’s not in the mood to pander to inferior minds -- not when they’re so fucking frustrating, don’t make any sense and worst of all make him do all the work. 

“He’s tracking the Tesseract, using the scepter as a point of reference,” Banner says after taking one look at the screen over Tony’s shoulder.

Tony raises his eyebrows, impressed despite himself. Banner’s credentials clearly don’t do him justice -- and they were pretty damn good to begin with.

“Huh,” says Rogers.

Thanks for playing. Now buckle down and make yourself useful or fuck off, Tony wants to snipe but doesn’t get the chance to because the gods -- this god at least -- just aren’t on his side.

“Even without my brother’s help, a weapon of the tesseract’s might should not be underestimated,” Thor speaks up. “Should we not make haste and collect it?”

"Great idea.” Tony’s voice is dryer than the sand dune he crash-landed in back during his fun little trip to Afghanistan. “If only I’d thought of that instead of inventing fifteen new algorithms to try and get a read on SHIELD’s precious magic eight ball while you were busy defending your brother’s honor. Speaking of, I’m pretty sure Romanoff is a greater danger to his virtue than Captain Shockfreeze over there, so why are you still here?”

Okay, maybe poking the hornet nest that is godly family isn’t his smartest move [didn’t he just say he wasn’t gonna touch that?!] but damn if Tony isn’t curious. And also too annoyed to care about unimportant, subjective things like good manners and tact.

He sort of regrets his cavalier attitute a little when Thor sobers. At least there are no tears in sight. Tony is the last person on Earth who should be left unsupervised around crying people. It just never ends well.

“Ah.” Thor sighs heavily, stems his body against an unfortunate table that creaks dangerously. "I’m afraid I can’t afford to see my brother right now.”

It’s the way he says those words, the weight they carry more than anything that tells Tony he needs to drop this issue right now. Talk about one huge trigger button.

Must be inconvenient to have siblings. Tony totally can’t relate.

“Well, in that case, unless you have a magic trick with which you can pull the Tesseract’s position out of your sleeve, how about you sit as far away from these delicate instruments as possible and don’t touch anything while I work my magic, hm?”

Tony doesn’t let his gaze linger on the crushed edge of the table. Thor hasn’t even seemed to notice. He’s too busy lighting up at Tony’s snappish response. Which is surprising. Tony’s aware he’s a bit of an asshole right now. In his defence, he’s an asshole most of the time.

Rogers leaps across the room -- almost crashing into the previously mentioned delicate sensors as he does so -- to slap his palm over Thor’s mouth.

Tony stares. [How quickly can you develop a new habit again? Because this starts to feel like a new habit.]

“That sounds like a great plan!” Rogers beams at him, so wide and fake it must be physically painful for the epitome of all that is good and holy. At least Tony hopes it is. The supersoldier his father worshipped is still clinging to their resident god of thunder’s face.

It’s.

Tony resolutely turns his back on both of them because their madness doesn’t seem to come with a refund-ticket and if Tony doesn’t finish this program, no one will.

Not even Banner -- whom Tony had been kind of hoping for. Speaking of, the man’s been awfully quiet for a while now.

“You alright there, Brucie-Bear?” Tony turns around -- a little because it’s polite to face people when you talk with them and mostly to have an excuse not to watch the ongoing doomed wrestle-match between Blonde 1 and Blonde 2. His awesome nicknaming skill doesn’t get so much as a twitch.

To be fair, Banner is so busy staring straight ahead with the most epic rendition of the World’s Most Thoughtful Expression™ Tony has seen in a while that it doesn’t seem like the man heard him. At all.

Until he suddenly speaks up.

“I think we’ve forgotten something.” Behind Tony the impromptu wrestling comes to a sudden halt.

Probably something negligible like how to focus on a mission, the sarcastic voice in the back of Tony’s mind drawls. Though it should be noted that Tony’s consciousness only comes in sarcastic or not at all. Sorry, everyone, all the other flavors are out.

Banner’s frown deepens. “Something- Something important.”

Right on cue an explosion rocks the aircraft.

*

There’s a bit more tension in this part than the previous ones. On Tony’s side it’s because he’s smart enough to pick up on Something Is Seriously Wrong, both consciously and subconsciously and also because he feels the pressure what with everyone else apparently not taking this whole thing very seriously.

[Excluding Natasha who, believe me, takes Clint’s fate very serious indeed.]

On our time travellers’ side, they experience the frustration of being unable to talk openly, surrounded by people they don’t trust, trying to play along to the script of a movie they watched like 12 years ago and never revisited. Needless to say they’re failing horrenduously.

#ReRe answers #archangel-of-peace #if you know the future why are you such an idiot 'verse #Tony Stark #Steve Rogers #Bruce Banner #Thor Odinson #Loki #Thor's and Loki's complicated relationship #Tony is done with this shit #Steve continuous to fail at being subtle #Thor continuous to out-do him #fic #shit this got long #me: i'm gonna write a three line text post on a hilarious time travel au #also me: *what feels like 2k later but is hopefully an exaggeration* fuck #ReRe writes #time travel shenanigans #lovely people

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi! Goldy, do you know why are jikookers making such a big deal out of jk saying “I’m hyung ‘s copy cat”. I’m I missing something here , why is everyone acting like they just confessed their love , if anything vmin were more sus 😂

Lol shippers...

We are like a bunch of boohbahs on crack every day. We get excited over everything and anything- which I think is the point of shipping though. Lol.

Not sure what you are missing as I haven't seen the show in its entirety yet...

But off the top of my head, I'd say it's probably because of the blushing and the whole Kook's ear turning red bit when JM was addressing him about copying him.

He did the same thing in the Be.TS Vlive when Jimin put him on the spot about posting on his birthday. Jimin makes him shy

It's been several years and Jimin still has an effect on him. I think it's cute.

Also, the bit about them confessing...

You actually not wrong. Lol.

JM used to say JK copies him because JK liked him and so JK would deny that all the time. To accept that he was imitating JM would mean he was admitting he liked Jimin- that he thought Jimin was cool, had impeccable style yadda yadda.

Jimin might as well had asked JK to confess he liked him.

They both had a habit of trying to get the other to confess their feelings for them in the past.

JM: I am Army.

JK: Do you like me that much?

JM: I had blue eyes first.

JK: No. Mine is bluer

JM: Stop imitating me.

Do you like me that much?

Jk: No

It was their way of flirting. So I guess in effect, in admiting he imitates JM, Jimin sort of got JK to officially admit he likes him🤷🏽‍♀️

'Do you like me?'

'Do you?'

'Do you?'

And he acted so innocent about it too.

This man! Lol

That innocent pout afterwards my God. Lmho.

There's just a lot of history between those two. A lot, and it's nice to see them remind eachother of that.

And I think it's the history and memories, the nolstagia he evoked in JK with that comment that had JK blushing hard especially if he read double meaning in that request.

From, his reaction I'd say he did.

All these double entendres chilee.

Its intriguing JK had such a strong reaction to something seemingly less intense or even cringe. That comment was supposed to be a safe bet. The safest conversation JM could have with Kook in front of new audience to not make things awkward in the room and yet...

There's no hope for JK. Dude is gone. Bid him farewell to gay boulevard🤧

Jimin was like why are you blushing it's nothing heavy or something like that and that reminded me again of that whole, 'did I scold you" bit from New Jersey.

Jimin had a strong reaction to what JK deemed a trivial issue- Which I gotta smirk at. Smirk.

It's interesting that of all the things he could ask Jk, this is what he chose to ask him. I think he genuinely believed it was a safer conversation to have- Y'all think VMin was wilding, wait till you meet the Jikooknims.

Imagine if JK had said what V said to JM or if JM had said that to JM. Imagine that...

I mean I get it, if they are going to be regulars on traditional SK media now, they have to be able to interact 'normally' within the group without the members or eachother panicking and acting like Jikook be spelling the nuclear codes with their butts.

We've discussed the gradual shift in BigHit's marketing model but it seems with all the Asian hate crimes, racism, stigmatization of Asians and Asian Americans in the wake of the pandemic, it's become imperative that they redirect their focus and attention to SK to solidify their presence and hold in their home market.

I'm afraid we might be seeing a shift towards the company pandering to their roots and adhering to traditional media practices with mostly one foot in the international market, and one foot in their home market.

And if that's the case, Jikook would have to be able to tether the line of their closet without making things awkward for eachother and the members lest they risk exposing themselves to the gay hateration and criticism rampant in Korea.

Bang PD have made it perfectly clear, he is not about the risk taking life. That he prefers as a company to play things safe- I wonder if he's stance on that has changed in recent times.

But I don't think when it comes to it, he'd risk it for them. He's not gonna shove their alternative lifestyle in conservative spaces like that. Chilee.

Anywho, Jimin likes to rile JK up and watch him squirm sometimes but naa I don't think that was the agenda this time around...

Then there was this bit also

Which I think my guy spilled right there😏

I've been saying for the longest time BigHit staff take stock in the Jikook business. There you have it.

They style Jikook. They style BTS. So all the times they've appeared in couple outfits, matching shoes, complimentary hairstyles, all the time they deliberately cut from JK to Jimin or Jimin to JK, all the times they've paired Jikook up, isolated them from the group so Jikook can give them a moment-

When I say BigHit is intentional in the way they brand Jikook within the group and in the way they push those two not as friends but as a 'couple'

And because of this people scream Jikook is fan service blah blah nonsense.

But the question have always been, why does these two grown ass men go along with it. Do they not know what it means when of all seven they are the two that are constantly marketed as 'lovers?" They are not twins, neither are they twelve and so why the need to match their fits?

And how come none of them object to this?

Why don't they ask questions???

Bet. Bet there's a reason for that.

As for Vmin all I have to say is...

Tae Kook who? Tae Kook WHERE?!

Lmho. Vmin, TaeJin, (Tae kook) VHope, Taegi

In that particular order for Tae's ships. The last three are fluid with Tae Kook alternating anywhere from 3rd to the last position lol.

I saw their shippers bust out their go to, 'Tae was being sarcastic" he hates Jimin rhetoric - like

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

Tae talks some strong Vmin agenda.

We been knew. We been said it

He flirts Jimin hard to gay proportions too.

'In love with my Soulmate- a memoir written by Kim Taehyung. Coming soon to a bookshop near you. Lmho.

If Jimin catches feelings for Tae one day it's game over for us all🤣🤣🤣🤣

'We need to stop. This game is dangerous.'

Then he proceeds to gulp on top of it 🤣🤣

Reminds me of when JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was fumbling and Jimin said, cut the cameras. Deadass. Lol

'Jk don't answer that' 🤭

Why shouldn't he answer that?

Jimin is a funny guy. A funny gay guy🤭

And did y'all see how hard Yoongi screamed when Tae said that?

Lolololololololololololololololololololololololol

Tae doesn't need to convince me he has feelings for Jimin. I'm convinced all by myself 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And is it me or did Tae look like he didn't believe Jimin when JM said he liked him too??🤔

I can't wait to watch the whole thing.

I love their relationship. I hate when people invalidate it. VMin does not invalidate Jikook nor does Jikook invalidate VMin or even Tae Kook. They all are, unique and they are beautiful me thinks.

They ought not be compared in this way but celebrated.

It's not a competition.

Talk of celebrating ships, did you see Tae and Kook too??? 🤭🤭🤭🤭

I love seeing them in a good place in their dynamic like this.

It's the look he shot JK when the envelope ended up infront of him for me😂

Tae is hilarious I swear! Lmho.

I kinda lowkey wished it was for him I won't lie.

It's the same energy as when JK grabbed his neck and said he wanted to ride in the car with Tae. (If those subs were correct. Can't trust any unofficial subs on any Tuktuk moment💀)

Tae was like 👀 waeyo? Lmho.

I'm off to ship Tae Kook and VMin.

Keep your eyes on the gays for me.

Bye🤣

💜💜💜💜

Signed,

GOLDY

[wandering-child-rp]

For the mini fic: what about number 7 things you said while driving for E/C 💖💖

“Thanks for the lift. You didn’t have to. I could have gotten the bus.” Christine forced a smile onto her nervous face as Erik gripped the steering wheel a little harder. It was painful for him but he didn’t like the idea of Christine alone on public transport late at night.

The lights of the highway would bathe the saloon car into bright light every so often and gave them both some shadows to hide in. Christine put the lead in her stomach down to nerves.

“I don’t mind driving you. I know you’d do the same for me if I needed a favour.”

“Except I don’t have a car and I cannot drive.” Christine laughed, it was a one-sided friendship. It was strange really. He didn’t seem to have many friends and it was always Christine chasing him. Unless it was after a lesson because then Erik always had a fantastic dinner for her, a great bottle of wine and he was good company. There had been a while when Christine had developed a crush on him but it was never reciprocated. She’d given him a thousand opportunities and lingering a little longer than needed at the door waiting for a kiss that never came.

Her hands stretched over her thighs with a huff of air.

“Nervous?” Erik asked but desperately he didn’t want to hear Christine pour out her feelings about her new boyfriend. He hated the constant buzzing of her phone when they sat together or the way she’d smile and laugh at whatever was on that stupid screen.

“Yeah... a little. I wish he could have come back instead of me flying out to him.” Erik’s large hand landed onto Christine’s with a comforting squeeze.

“I know. It’s sad your missing the season opener.” In his heart of hearts, he wanted Christine to be sat next to him in the box. He wanted to twist the playbill in his hands over and over trying to pluck up the courage to slide his hand into hers. Exactly like it was now. His hazel eyes went wide and he whipped away the warmth all too suddenly leaving Christine confused again and feeling like an imposition.

It would have been nice to go with Erik. He was a gentleman truly. Yes, he was a little older than her but he was sweet and respectful. Meg kept saying it was just a crush on an older man who had that mysterious thing but Christine wasn’t so sure. She laughed at his clever jokes and dumb ones and could listen for hours to him play or dissect a film scene by scene. He lent her books that he thought she needed to read and empowered her beyond belief. Only when she needed it though did he interfere.

</i>

“Your favourite book is ‘Pride and prejudice? Did Mr Darcy like Elizabeth more because she was outspoken and her own woman?” Christine only nodded. “Then stop pandering to these idiots. Yes, take their direction but not when it cuts you down. If it doesn’t stop I’ll bloody tell them.”

“They’re bossy; not romantic though.” She said trying to lighten the atmosphere and stop feeling like such a silly little girl. Erik only raised his eyebrows and bit his tongue trying to keep his attention solely on the tv in front of them. “No one has ever declared their undying love for me.”

“Maybe if you followed the advice.” </i>

Erik remembered that night. The air hung thick as Christine ran her finger around the rim of her glass and the silence rang. He knew he loved her then. It was sudden and all at once; like drowning. He fought it but couldn’t swim to the surface again. It was fine when it was just lessons and direction but then they met up. She didn’t look at the mask but at Erik’s eye. He held his temper and the time it was ragged, she simply laid her hand on his shoulder and then it took all his power not to declare his feelings. Erik wasn’t stupid; she was young, beautiful and smart. Out of his league. Then, she suddenly had a boyfriend on the scene after a connection with an old friend. It was dreadful to watch them. Erik was waiting at the stage door with flowers but they ended up in the trash can when he realised he’d been beaten to the punch.

The pair came to the airport all too quickly. Christine methodically checked off her list for the hundredth time.

“Passport? Yes. Money? Yes. Ticket? Yes. Phone? Yes. Makeup bag? Yep. So, I’m all set.” Christine looked beautiful in her thick sweater, the mass of curls blow dried out by the hairstylist this morning and her body bouncing nervous energy as she smiled widely at Erik with the harsh light reflecting off his mask. “Vienna, here I come! City of opera dreams and I’ll be back in a few weeks.”

Erik knew she wouldn’t come back. She had nothing in Paris anymore and her father was back in Sweden. He knew the allure of a new city and a new start but he’d miss her too much to admit. She was tense and clearly something was distracting her, as always, she just blurted it out after only a stern look from her mentor.

“He’s nice, right? He’s not texted much but now a driver is going to pick me up? That’s okay, isn’t it?” Erik wouldn’t dream of it. He would even let her take public transport alone and insisted she stayed in his guest room when he caved and shared a bottle of wine with her.

“Yes.” He replied monosyllabically before adding some care when he saw Christine's face drop a little. “Let me know when you get to his house at least. Goodbye, angel.”

‘Angel’ Christine melted just like when he’d coined the term back for her. She had not known his name when the first note had come or the loud shout across the stage from a fast-moving figure. Erik had told her to start an octave higher and, it had worked perfectly, she had hit the last note despite not knowing. Jokingly, she’d referred to him since as her ‘Angel of music’. It had become truthful as her broken heart had begun to mend itself.

“I can still call you, can’t I?” Erik noted she was picking at the handle of her bag and delaying for time. Nodding, Erik was about to splurge out everything but as he opened his mouth, some jackass behind him started to honk for the drop off space.

“Of course. Good luck with the audition. I’ll come to see you perform, I’m sure.”

He watched her walk away with the backpack that was his before, handbag and battered suitcase decorated with a floral print. It wasn’t medically possible but he was quite sure he could physically feel his heartbreaking. The tears clouded his vision so Erik gave up trying and pulled in for a drive-through coffee he’d normally baulk at. Red and white lights flashed overhead as planes carrying people off to their dreams, vacations and loved ones. The pain came in another crashing wave as he saw the coffee Christine got flash on the menu board; double-shot caramel latte. How was it possible for a coffee to cause a thousand stabs of ice to a heart. Erik reconciled himself to just wait out the hour and a half to watch her plane take off into the night sky. Then he’d go home and drink his body weight in liquor.

The whole plane groaned as the captain announced the delay. They’d sat on the tarmac for half an hour but it felt so much longer for someone as nervous as she was. Christine swore under her breath as she wrestled the backpack from the compartment. Why wasn’t Erik here? He never had to stand on his tiptoes to reach anything.

1 Voice Note from ‘Angel of Music 🎶 (ERIK DESTLER). 20 minutes ago. Christine held the phone to her ear as she jostled her way through disgruntled people and his velvet tones spilled into her ears.

‘So, I’m just at Starbucks and I can’t not say this anymore. I’m so sorry to do this, Christine, and like this. Look, just don’t listen past this but let me do it. We can pretend it never happened. I really want you to be happy and I don’t care if that’s not with me but... fuck... I don’t even know why I’m doing this but... here goes. I love you. A lot. Always have and always will. You can’t blame me because look at you and look at me. I know you won’t feel the same but I care for you so much, Christine. My wretched heart will always belong to you. The one who saw through the bullshit. Don’t think nothing or no one is missing you in Paris because I will be. Don’t dwell on it though. Go be happy... If you want to come home or something goes wrong, I’ll buy your ticket home and be waiting to collect you. Anytime, any day, just call me. You can always call me. No questions asked.’ There was a noise of a steering wheel being slapped and Erik squeezing his nose and clearing his throat before a new note started. ‘Anyway, just call me if you need and, best of luck. I know you’ll be perfect and don’t take any shit from anyone. I’ll get over all of this and I’m sorry. Unless you didn’t listen to that message in which case, erm, send me a postcard kid.’

Christine felt like the world had fallen out from under her and anything she thought was true wasn’t anymore. Throwing her handbag onto the seat, she paced around and listened to the message again. Surely she’d misheard him.

Erik perched himself on the wing of his car. His third cup of coffee in one hand a cigarette in the other as he blew smoke into the sky and watched a plane take off. Her flight was seven minutes late but he saw the green tail knew it was her flight as the flight app hadn’t updated with the last-minute delay.

“Fucking hell, Erik...” he mumbled to himself and threw the butt of the cigarette away after only taking three drags. “Stupid bastard...”

Never before had he felt so deflated but with freedom now. It was out into the world regardless of his regrets or lack of. The words where just like the smoke; impossible to catch or recall in the night sky. It was what it was, Erik thought as he sat back in the driver's seat and drummed the leather wheel defeated. He sat there spinning his phone on his thigh whilst the radio played the weather forecast monotonously. He had muted Christine and unmuted her twice just in case she needed him suddenly yet he hadn’t looked to see if she heard the message before boarding. The timing was meant to be that she’d already have shut off her phone before getting on the plane. It was nearly an hour ago since he’d practically bled the words out of his mouth and tonight, he’d go home and get very drunk before sleeping in tomorrow and he’d remain drunk until the opening night of the opera in four days. Then, he’d force himself back together and to face the world.

“Erik?” That voice. His head whipped around quickly and pulled a muscle. “My- my flight got delayed.”

His face visibly dropped but Christine held up her phone with the screen illuminating the picture of the artwork in Erik’s corridor that she adored. It was a perfect metaphor. Even when it wasn’t about him, Erik was never far from her thoughts.

“I got your message.” The young woman was nervous and simply flying on instinct as the moments turned into seconds and she was closing the gap between them and then her body hit his and their lips met in a breathless kiss full of fire and longing. Christine’s smile was large and her eyes crinkled when Erik looked shocked and confused. Slowly, his long arms wrapped around her waist and one knee shook weakly. She was here, in his arms and smiling at the thought of him. “I wish you’d told me before.”

“I didn’t want to cloud our friendship.”

“Friendship? Erik, it was never just a friendship with us. It doesn’t take me five minutes to unlock my door and say goodbye in the car and I wanted you. I thought you could see that-“

In response, his lips met hers again as one palm cradled her cheek. The mask was unforgiving but Christine knew what was underneath already from coming over early months ago. He’d freaked out and was embarrassed but she handled it without a moment of thought.

“Are you staying?” Erik whispered with a voice dripping with dark honey and his nose rubbed against hers as Christine cuddled him close in the chilly night with her arms around his neck.

Several hours later and Erik was kissing Christine’s nude shoulder as he cuddled behind her still unable to sleep despite their activities. Christine hummed in happily nuzzled softly in a bed that smelt of his cologne. She couldn’t stop thanking delayed flights and voice notes of deep thoughts in cars. She could have missed out on her love so easily but as Erik’s chest pressed against her back in his bed, Christine knew she was exactly where she was meant to be.

@sloanedestler

#is 2k a mini fic? #I also drafted a totally #different idea for this which I might post if anyone cares #modern day au erik #Erik x Christine #ask box

[witcherslittledove]

A prompt for you if you'd like it! Dandelion/Jaskier/Valdo, where Valdo is drugged and used by the other two. - Deaddovecollector

@deaddovecollector here you go!

Stolen Dreams

CW: dead dove do not eat, non con, drug abuse, oral sex, anal sex, Jaskier and Dandelion being pretty terrible people.

______

When Valdo slid the key into the lock of his fancy apartment door, he assumed he would be having a normal Friday evening. He’d had a rather dull day in the studio, fighting his producers with the way he wanted his new album to sound. His career had been successful but the cost had been high. He’d pandered to the critics, sacrificing his own style in order to gain renown and he was paying the price. Music no longer held the same joy that it had in his youth.

That was probably why he’d taken to stealing the work of his two former bandmates instead of writing his own. He’d just lost all inspiration, and their notes had just been lying there on the table the last time the three of them had met up for coffee. Valdo had always been weak-willed, he hadn’t been able to resist. The money was nice though and he could pretty much have any partner he liked, if only for the night. Tonight’s partner of choice was an expensive bottle of wine and a takeout from his favourite restaurant.

Or at least that had been the plan.

The door swung open to reveal his aforementioned bandmates, lounging in his living room, limbs entangled as they smiled far too sweetly at him.

“Jaskier and Dandelion, the two Julians of Oxenfurt. To what do I owe the pleasure?” he sighed wearily. He’d forgotten they had been given a key when he first bought the place. They’d never used it… until now, but Valdo had had a long day and he really didn’t fancy the company this evening. Although, he hadn’t seen his former friends for far too long and he supposed he was feeling nostalgic.

“Can’t we just drop in on an old friend?” Jaskier asked, smirking as he ran his hands through Dandelion’s trademark long curls.

The pair of them had also done well as solo artists, less critically acclaimed but a few viral hits between the two of them that had boosted them into the limelight. Not to mention neither of them had sacrificed their own creativity in the process. It was ridiculous, Valdo had everything he’d ever dreamed of, but he was still jealous. Just like he had always been. Their easy relationship, their endless talent, and the balls to be who they are without any fear.

Valdo sighed. He was just tired so he rolled his eyes, “I’d say make yourself at home, but you clearly already have.” Then he gestured to the bottle of wine in his hand. “I wasn’t going to share, but I also wasn’t expecting guests.”

Dandelion tittered, his slender finger tracing a pattern on Jaskier’s skintight jeans. They were just like Valdo remembered them; never breaking contact unless it was absolutely necessary, and even then…

God, they could be infuriating.

And Valdo had always been left out on his own.

Perhaps that was why he’d stolen their music. The rivalry in his heart had never gone away, even after they’d left Oxenfurt.

“I’ll go get the glasses,” Dandelion announced with a wink, pulling Jaskier into one last kiss before practically dancing into the kitchen, plucking the bottle of wine from Valdo’s hands on his way past.

“So,” Valdo said as he slid down onto the sofa where Dandelion had been sitting, keeping a more acceptable distance between himself and Jaskier. They’d hooked up a few times in university but Valdo was bored of one-night stands and hook up, and Jaskier wasn’t the dating kind.

Jaskier’s tongue flicked out to lick his lips, and Valdo couldn’t help but track the movement. The bastard never seemed to realise he was doing it, but it never failed to lure his partners in. Valdo was no exception. He swallowed and tried to force his gaze away from the other man’s lips, feeling a pool of heat at his core despite his best intentions. “So, Marx.”

“How have you been?” Valdo stammered, feeling more awkward than he had any right to feel in his own home. The wine would help.

He hoped.

“Oh, you know,” Jaskier flicked his wrist, “viral videos, interviews on the radio, far too many hours stuck in the recording studio.”

“Right, yes.”

“Well, of course, I’m not living in a swanky apartment,” Jaskier said, sitting forward and resting his chin on his hands. “You, however, look at this,” he waved his arms in a wide circle and smiled brightly at him.

Really, Valdo should have noticed the strange glint in Jaskier’s eyes, but alas, he was just too exhausted, too trusting of his old friends. So instead he laughed, relaxing more as Dandelion came back from the kitchen with the open bottle of wine and three glasses in his hand. With the wine poured, the three of them settled easily into their old routine of getting absolutely wasted in their shitty apartment together after band practice.

Only it wasn’t a shitty apartment, and they weren’t living together anymore.

Valdo’s flowers had changed without him even realising, but they hid it well. Dandelion ran his long fingers through Valdo’s hair as they curled up on the sofa together, Jaskier’s hand rested on Valdo’s leg as he chattered away on the other side of him. It was almost quite domestic, and Valdo was lured into a false sense of security by his two oldest friends and the wine that passed his lips. He didn’t notice the prickle on the back of his neck that told him there was something off, he didn’t notice the foggy haze in his head that was heavier than it should have been after half a glass of wine.

He didn’t notice.

But he should have. Maybe the evening would have gone very differently if he’d seen the red flags.

Instead he just felt a bit sluggish and tired as he let his head fall against Jaskier’s shoulder, humming wordlessly as he tried to follow the conversation between his two friends.

“Oh just look at him,” Dandelion cooed, sweeping a lock of hair off Valdo’s face and tugging it behind his ear. As the musician’s fingers touched his skin he almost felt like he was being burnt. The tenderness of the gesture was marred by a fire in Dandelion’s cornflower blue eyes that Valdo hadn’t seen before. “Did you have a long day stealing our work, darling?”

Valdo tried to shake his head, tried to protest but his tongue wouldn’t work, clumsy and heavy in his mouth. The gentle touch against his temple fell away and suddenly Dandelion’s fingers were wrapped around his throat, not cutting off his air supply but the sudden change in mood had Valdo’s head spinning. Before he could protest, Dandelion’s lips were on his, forcing them open as the other man’s tongue pushed into his mouth.

It was only at that moment when he really noticed something was wrong. Panic rose in his chest, flooding through his veins like ice as he tried to push Dandelion away but he couldn’t move properly. Nothing worked. His head span. Protests died silently on his lips.

Jaskier’s breath was hot against his skin. “You steal something from us, we steal something from you. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”

No.

It wasn’t fair.

They could settle this. He didn’t need his money. There were other ways.

Oh god.

Jaskier roughly pulled at Valdo’s trousers, tugging them down his legs along with his boxers. Valdo could only whimper pathetically.

“No,” he slurred, struggling helplessly against Dandelion’s lips, “please, no.”

“No?” Jaskier laughed bitterly, “Did we get a chance to say no when you stole our work? When you got a fucking grammy for a song that Dandelion wrote? When the artists praised you for my haunting lyricism? Where was our choice, Valdo?”

“‘m sorry…”

It was Dandelion’s turn to laugh. “‘Sorry’?, oh it’s too late for ‘sorry’, sweetheart.”

And it was too late, Jaskier’s mouth was on his cock, wet and hot and not what he wanted. He whined, the noises muffled by Dandelion’s lips. He couldn’t fight it…

He was trapped.

Despite his disgust, his cock hardened underneath Jaskier’s talented tongue, shame and arousal burning through his body in a fiery cocktail. His whimpers turned to soft moans as Dandelion kissed and nipped at his neck, one hand pushing Jaskier down on Valdo’s cock.

“That’s it, pretty thing,” Dandelion murmured, “Get nice and hard so I can use your cock.”

Jaskier moaned around him, the sound vibrating along Valdo’s cock in a way that felt far too good and Valdo hated every second. He closed his eyes, hoping it was all some horrid nightmare but when he opened them again, Jaskier was still mouthing at his cock, red faced and utterly debauched.

And Valdo could remember a time when the sight had been the most alluring one in the world.

“N- no,” he protested weakly, and for one glorious moment he thought it was all over as Jaskier pulled off his cock with a pop, but he hadn’t noticed Dandelion shimmying out of his trousers and working a pretty pink silicone plug out of his arse.

Dandelion was in his lap, pinning him down, not that he could move very far with the drugs and wine in his system but the weight pressed against him nevertheless. He wanted to be sick. His traitorous cock was covered in the lube that was leaking down Dandelion’s thighs, and the man moaned as he fucked himself.

It was tight and hot around his cock.

He was going to cum.

He didn’t want to.

He just wanted to pass out.

Jaskier’s hand pulled roughly at his hair, making the world spin as his head was pulled back and then he was being kissed again, nearly choking as Jaskier’s tongue forced its way into his mouth, the taste of his favourite wine now making him want to hurl.

He couldn’t focus on anything as Dandelion bounced on his cock, the constant movement made him dizzy and his eyes kept fluttering shut. When he opened them he was reminded of his living nightmare.

Used.

Nothing more than a toy for the two men he’d trusted and loved.

It was never ending. Dandelion came over his chest with a cry, then before Valdo could even take a breath, he was moved onto the floor. His knees hitting the rug with a sharp thud, pain searing through his legs but he couldn’t even cry out before he felt Jaskier’s hands on his back, arse, thighs…

They were everywhere.

Valdo could only bury his face in the couch cushions and sweet darkness finally claimed his swirling foggy mind; a blessing from the heavens.

After that it was just flashes, blue eyes, blond curls, tufts of dark chest hair. Pain. So much pain. A cry; his own. Cum staining his chest, bitter on his tongue, sticky in his hair. Wine, his favourite, rich and sickening in his mouth. Tired, so very tired, but he hurt, deep into his bones.

And then he was alone, feeling too empty and abused.

Violated.

In a house that suddenly felt like a prison.

He hugged his arms tight around his chest as he cried, curled up in the middle of the floor. Alone with the pain of his own sins.

#the witcher #valskier #jaskier/valdo #jaskilion #jaskier x dandelion #dead dove do not eat

[changbeens]

hold onto ur hats y'allz, i'm having a opinion which involves bts so here's the standard disclaimer that i'm entitled to an opinion and if you disagree thats fine but dont come at me and me having this opinion does not make me an anti of the group, but probably of the company (to be fair though, i hate all kpop companies equally)

i've been thinking about it since i watched the friends reunion, but i think i'd actually be embarrassed and kinda sad if my fave group was being so grossly used as the bangtans are. a twenty second video on the reunion, a meal at mcdonalds, name dropped for clout on every show outside of korea that needs a ratings boost... and they dont even promote on music shows in korea anymore because the company doesnt make as much money from that as all the advertising deals makes them, this includes the ad revenue they get from all the views on youtube

i mean, i know i dont have much room to talk, my ult group is nct for crying out loud but bighit are just turning bts almost into a parody of themselves at this point. just let them record a full fucking album of bangtan songs, not these westernised pandering cash cow songs. i miss hyyh era

#siiiiiiigh #i honestly to this day do not know how or why they blew up the way they did #i just woke up one day and everything was different

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep11 Thoughts *Spoilers*

thoughts under cut to keep tag from being cluttered :)

- Oh yeah I forgot that Chad was blackmailing Veronica about the dirty dealings in her company even though it’s not her at all (unless it’s just been so long and I’ve forgotten but she’s my baby and I feel like I would’ve remembered but-

- Hiram and this dumb prison is one of the worst things for this show it’s a constant plot of people escaping and it’s so annoying like sure Hiram owns it and he was in the jail but no one has, like, taken him back to jail…??? Hiram is a fucking disease smh

- “back to remote learning” why didn’t you just stay that way though… like even right now in covid schools are opening back up and kids are complaining because it’s still not safe so like… just… go back to it??? I’m so not built for this world fasdhfkahf

- Veronica and Smithers 🥺🥺💞💞

- the way Veronica hugs Archie is so cute bc she’s so tiny but like she always gives her all and Archie is just 😐 never giving anything ahjfsdfsh it’s quite sad you can tell how done KJ is with Varchie lol

- “I really hate that I’m dragging you through this.” … what about constantly pulling him into your mob boss father mess that the writers refuse to allow you to escape from?

- “until you and Chad are officially done, I think we should keep our distance.” Varchie bones!!! you just KNOW that Archie has been looking forward to this because that man is whole heartedly in love with Betty and has been since forever and that while Chad prolongs the divorce papers, Archie will not be waiting for Veronica considering he doesn’t want her. Varchie = bones we love to see it!

- now who tf would join Penelope Blossom’s ministry… no one, realistically.

- can Cheryl stop being given the craziest and usually most boring plots ever please...

- Not someone holding a gun to Tabitha literally don’t hurt Riverdale’s best girl weirdo

- these bitches really haven’t aged huh…. poor Veronica though being robbed but like they stole some watches or something and the opal like that’s all you take..?? okay-

- Fangs 💞💞💞💞💞 also rip to him having to work with his ex tho

- STOP HAVING ARCHIE GO TO HIRAM WE’RE TIRED

- You know considering the whole reason why Hiram is still here as the villain and ruining Veronica’s life/growth to keep her in his plots al because Mark is a big soap opera celeb and apparently brings in money, you’d assume they would give him GOOD shit instead of everything he’s gotten. If they hadn’t of hired Mark can you imagine how much better off the show would be if they didn’t have to keep him around bc of his status????? God why-

- Reggie’s always there for Veronica muah…. oh fuck me I guess fjasjkdf

- “I work for one Lodge and it’s not you.” lmao okay??? you acting like that’s a flex, and that you’re working for the better Lodge who literally left you to die after the Serpents thought you shot Fangs so-

- MARTY BEING WHY REGGIE IS WORKING FOR HIRAM…….. YOUR DAD IS ABUSIVE LET HIM HANDLE HIS OWN DEBT??? God both Veronica and Reggie are always fucked over when it comes to their parents huh

- don’t you just love when they make characters act ooc for a plot ahhhhhh it’s totally fun to watch and totally not frustratingly annoying

- “FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.” 💞💞💞 we love Veggie even though they made Veronica act ooc and hurt him back then and they weren’t given an actual chance.

- “don’t be such a Betty” now why is Betty so surprised she only ever had fun when she was with Archie, when she’s with Jughead all she did was do what she wanted and order him around so likeefjhakdfh

- “he shouldn’t really be my problem anymore.” BUGHEAD BONES YASSSSS

- I know it was just a sound they used but like that squish sound when Darla kicked Tom’s face… did she like smash his face in damn what is this The Walking Dead?

- see the problem with them randomly bringing characters/parents in when they need them is that they’re never around so like no one really cares… like they could have utilized the parents so much (and Skeet and Marisol never would have left) and it would have been so much better than random appearances that make them look incompetent and awful parents because they’re never there during all the other times their kids need them. but we have to see the two toxic parents that won’t go away constantly??? literally what the fuck

- Betty calling Jughead’s writing cringey wbk she’s never liked his writing she was just stroking his ego bc she was his gf and had to be supportive lmaoo

- why are these 60+ year old men beating up Jughead like for why???

- so they just forgot that Tom was checking in on the convict huh gotta love dumbing down characters for plot!

- Fangs with his switchblade muah

- jealous Tabitha muahhh over a password

- “wait THE BETTY?"

- Cheryl looks so good

- Find meaning in his death… girl didn’t you not care that your husband killed your son over the illegal maple stuff I forgot the plot but it was something illegal and dumb

- “drain the vein” …...

- Reggie helping muah

- Why is Archie acting like an ass? like sure he doesn’t know that Chad is abusive and toxic but c’mon fucker you cheated on her and never apologized and you don’t even wanna be with her in the first place so why are you acting like you’re personally hurt sit down

- God Archie really hates Veronica huh… I don’t even blame him considering the shit she’s brought him into time and time again.

- Jughead was kicked like maybe five times yet he was fine falling out of a two story window and the serpent imitation but now he needs antibiotics..? plot convenience!

- literally don’t remember anything about Doc tbh or him talking to Donna and Bret like—

- ever since Negan people are obsessed with bats with barbed wire.

- also! yes please kill Hiram <3 I know they end up saving him bc of the opal but c'mon

- they searched basically nothing for five seconds wow such great detective work you guys!

- we know you just want his manuscript Jessica

- Cheryl with her rainbow skirt how cute!

- “daddykins” girl you’re like 25

- Veronica acting like she cares about Hiram fjsadhkfhas these guys thinking that they’d kill Hiram even though they need him lol

- bad bitch Ronnie we love her even though she’s gonna have to save her father to save others and get her opal </3

- not Veronica calling Archie first and not Kevin considering Kevin’s dad is there…. this is the pandering va fan service bs we have bc it makes no sense and it’s so forced

- Fangs knowing Archie rides with tools in his truck mmhm that’s a little sus idk how but archiefangs agenda coming through!

- no one would actually believe that Jessica ashkjdfsj and they take this bait…??? you gotta be joking lmao

- Jug got to help doc this time 🥺😭

- …. tell me why when he said boyfriend I immediately thought of Reggie I hate myself for wishing fahsdjkfsafj

- okay as cheesy and corny and awful the fight scene is since they posted a clip of it, them working together is so refreshing and nice we love leader!Veronica bc she’s so good at it. but the show only cares for Betty which is funny since she’s an awful detective fbahsdjfj

- my god enough with Jason’s body!!!!!!!!! you burned his body please let him stay dead let his body rest

- okay but the back and forth from Betty and Jessica is so good like I wish we could get that kind of rivalry drama type stuff all the time. too bad they refuse to let Veronica act like a normal person and get angry at being cheated on and such :/ when will Veronica slap the fuck out of Betty

- he’s not a blameless victim but Betty take responsibility for how awful a person you are PLEASE

- THE VOICEMAILLLLLLL Jughead only speaks the truth! it’s weird that he only realized what we all knew about Betty after but whatever, finally he gets upset like damn. also jeronica crumb he’s the only one to ever include Veronica smh ALSO Cole acted the fuck outta this voice mail muah

- the way Betty just sits there uncaring… she really is a freak huh god when will someone punch her in the face and take her ego down a million notches she’s so annoying

- “that’s darkness.” …?? what?

- the way bh’s relationship parallels jughead’s with Jessica though. the unhealthy habits, the bad energy, etc. except Jessica left it and Betty didn’t and it turned Betty into whatever the fuck this is. I miss s1 Betty :/

- so when will they sue Jessica for drugging them? mmhm probably never

- poor Tabitha being the only one who cares about jughead tho

- oh no I forgot there was a random musical number…

- you’re gonna have Betty and Tabitha act like THAT and not put them together so rude

- when will Cheryl be free from her mom. is was like turned on by abuse or something sigh why do the toxic (and most boring!) parents get plots and screen time and everyone else doesn’t...

- Veronica would be able to do Moree than pepper spray but whatever only Betty is allowed be “badass"

- fangs being fangs ugh so sexy my babyyyyy

- Trevor Stines is so attractive it’s a shame they only bring him back for five seconds to traumatize Cheryl over and over again though </3

- wow varchie in a pop’s booth what season is this again??

- god it’s so upsetting how amazing varchie would have been as just friends…

- the way he smiled at Veronica was so contradicting to the blank, “please don’t” expression when she was telling him she was gonna get divorced as fast as possible. why can’t he just admit he doesn’t want to be with her!!!!!! my god they’ve put off barchie long enough just let them be together so their characters can finally act in character and stop being so awful and annoying

- “this cause” what cause you fucking weirdo

- not Hiram threatening the mayor he could literally be your downfall if we had good writers fjasdkjfasf

- jughead how would you have killed him with a small wooden basket

- I like doc so much but I know we’ll never see him again until we randomly need him seasons from noow

- Betty wasn’t hit by the drugs until after the message though… how would she not remember? it didn’t seem to be doing anything to Betty until the bunker

- hopefully since they’re friends now Tabitha can make Betty act like a decent human being <3

- the way Tabitha looked at Betty please stop doing this to me...

- maybe we can finish that dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jabitha rising bughead dying we love to see it!

wow that episode felt like it was two hours long but thankfully I finally finished it… don’t have many actual thoughts but anyways hope you enjoyed my live blog of my thoughts!

#Riverdale #Thoughts #Spoilers

[stopthebig3]

What you don't like with The Legend of Korra ?

It would be easier to say what I DO like about it. Which would be the animation, the soundtrack and some characters before they were ruined.

Season 1

Probably most decent season since first 4 episodes are good. Nice aesthetics, intimidating villain (tho the non-bender oppression wasn’t well explored at all). However the love triangle bullshit shat all over everything. Mako suddenly likes Korra out of nowhere. Korra kisses Mako and Asami finds out. Asami is angry. Mako and Korra become lovey dovey while Asami becomes potted plant in the background. Climax wasn’t satisfying at all, Korra defeated Amon/Noatak via sheer accident (sudden airbending out of nowhere) and Aang came back to give Korra her powers back cos she cried. Bullshit. All I have to say is Tenzin and Lin were amazing (don’t worry though, in the later seasons they got ruined as well).

Season 2

Probably the worst season. First of all Unalaq was a wtf villain. TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF DARKNESS. Bolin/Eska “romance” was fucking cringe and the fact they portrayed the abuse as funny when it wasn’t. Bolin/Ginger was horrible too. Bolin wasn’t funny at all. Asami’s plotline about her company is given to Varrick and Mako because we wouldn’t want to give her anything meaningful to do but instead will keep her as a mere plot device. Oh and MORE Korra/Mako/Asami love triangle because that’s definitely what was needed. Korra being dumb and a dick. Jinora ex machina plus Korrazilla. Lok retconning its own lore. And to top it all, Korra destroyed connection to the previous avatars which is possibly the worst thing Lok has done.

Season 3

Forced Korra and Asami friendship out of nowhere despite the fact Korra has been treating her like crap and hasn’t shown any interest in being Asami’s friend. Since Makorra is now over Korra is going through all her friends options and decides I guess I’ll be Asami’s friend now. Though Asami becomes more like her servant and a bank account. Red Lotus actually are intimidating and cool, but their existence comes out of nowhere and there was some illogical things involving them like how did they all stay in perfect shape despite being imprisoned in harsh environments, how did Zaheer immediately became an airbending master the moment he got airbending and so on. I honestly don’t remember much about this season except that I hated the Lin and Suyin drama. Oh I almost forgot Bolin’s out of nowhere bullshit lava bending! That was bullshit. He basically went from being a non-funny comic relief to an undeveloped Gary Stu.

Season 4

So instead of trying to develop Korra and Asami’s “romance” (lol) Korra isn’t even present for the first few episodes. And iirc Bryke mentioned that Toph will snap Korra out of her state. Like if you’re gonna act like Korra is really going through PTSD/Depression then let me tell you, you can’t “snap” someone out of those things. Korra is just out there throwing a pity party for the drama and when it’s not needed anymore she goes back. Then we have Kuvira, who’s pretty interesting villain but she gets ruined eventually so. Also why didn’t Suyin take all the metal out of Korra’s body? -_-  Because plot convinience. Did they need to waste so many episodes of the last book to this? People always complain about Lok’s treatment of Aang but I think Toph got the shortest end of the stick. And the fact Bryke uses her as a mouthpiece to explain plot holes. Korra acts like she’s now wise. I honestly at this point am too lazy to explain what I dislike about season 4 but yeah Korra/Asami “romance” wasn’t developed at all and Bryke just made a tumblr popular ship canon at the last minute because their show was hated anyway so might as well pander to shippers so you can at least have some fans. The krew didn’t even feel like a krew at this point anymore, they didn’t even have a scene together at the end like the Gaang had in Atla.

Overall it was bad and I don’t even have emotional attachments to anything in it.

#anti lok #anonymous

[visceryl]

“Who’s Side Are You On?” - HPHM

Hello! Finally did a long overdue prompt for @thewasp1995 that includes David Grant, my MC Konnor Rainwater, and @hogwartsmysterystory ‘s Ethren Whitecross. Enjoy whatever the hell this is XD

------------------------------------------------------------

Footsteps clicked in even echoes against the stone floors, leaving a wet squelch and damp impressions of a shoe in their wake before traveling onwards to the red runner spanning up to the Gryffindor Tower. 

Konn approached with impatient trembles to his white knuckled fists as a cool anger surged rampant through his skull. Like a pound of blood slamming against his temples. He was soaked from head to toe, ignoring the passing gazes a few red robed kids sent him on their way to classes. 

“My my, a drowned snake approaches!” the portrait on the wall sang. 

The plump woman within the golden frame feigned back against her lounge, a pillow blanketing her head as her gaze turned watchful on the boy.

Konnor scoffed, his footsteps stalling against the otherwise blank stone brick wall that seemed to be nothing but a dead end. 

“I’m not here for games. I just need to see a friend.”

“I am sure, my boy, but you’re not going anywhere without the password.” 

A smile glittered on the portraits features and a hand rose to cup around her ear as if yearning for some far off sound.

“I don’t know the damn code, please. I know David is in there.”

“Language!” she chastised. “No code, no entry.”

Konn ground his teeth together, his jaw jumping with irritable strain. Pandering to the woman’s request, his gaze flitted back towards where a stream of students had just left the Gryffindor Common Room. It seemed they’d already turned the corner and disappeared. 

For the love of-

Wait. He knew this.

The Slytherin stalled on his heel, digging it in as a forearm raced up to brush white locks of hair back from their plastered position upon his forehead. The tips that had stained a soft pink with growing agitation slowly began to fade.

He turned back towards the lady in the portrait. 

Luckily, Konnor had been there just a few days back with Charlie and Hal, it hadn’t yet hit the weekly mark where another passcode would inevitably take its place. 

“Inexcussus,” he tested on his tongue. 

The woman broke into another smile, waving her hand. “Yes yes, my boy, very well, go on in.”

Her portrait swung forward to reveal a sizable hole in the brick. Stepping through, the Slytherin was welcomed by a warm hearth, the fire blazing warm and casting a deep red glow across the entirety of the common room. Long stained glass windows lined the walls gazing out far and wide over the Hogwarts grounds, transparent golden curtains draped down over them. Plush red armchairs and couches crowded the fireplace while a looming spiral staircase led up behind into the dorms.

It had all but emptied out now. 

With students attending their classes, Konnor knew only one person who’d still surely be floating about. It also happened to be the one guy he desperately needed to talk to if only for his sanity.

“David? Are you still alive in here?” 

His voice echoed up the staircase, overpowering the cracks and pops of the blazing fire. No answer.

Again, Konnor’s fists clenched and unclenched as he eased himself in passing breaths. This was ridiculous. He hated that he had even wound up here, but after today’s fiasco in potions with Merula… 

He was still dripping from where the pot had opened up into a geyser right in his face. The whole class had laughed, let alone what Snape had thought with his usual disapproving look. It scalded in the back of his mind.

That girl was nothing but trouble when left to her own devices. 

Even from year one, Konnor and Merula had never gotten along. Always bickering and costing each other precious house points. She had gotten better over time, they could tolerate one another on most occasions, but ever since her and David had opted for a break in their short lived relationship, she’d been gunning for a distraction.

A distraction that came in the form of pestering Konnor.

He blew out a frustrated breath, raking his fingers through his hair and dragging nails along his scalp. “Come on, David!” 

Konnor gripped the railing, twisting himself to leap past the first two steps of the winding staircase, and began to ascend. Quickly, he found himself in the boy’s dorms, his head poking around the doorway to glance inside.

Empty. 

Save for a single figure lumped beneath the blankets. 

Konn pushed his way in, nearly tripping over several belongings of other Gryffindor’s strewn across the floor. In a series of beds decorated in more golds and reds, he could see several personalities. Ben’s clean and tidy nook, Ethren’s disaster zone with an unmade bed and books scattered about, and David’s. 

His was somewhere in between, the dead giveaway the guitar leaned at the very end of his bed. 

“Are you really going to ignore your visitor who has so graciously blessed you with his presence?”

The blankets rumpled with a tired grunt as dark brown hair poked out in various angles from beneath. Finally, with a heave, David pushed himself up. His legs swung over the edge of the bed, a hand at his head. 

“I didn’t realize I was entertaining the Queen.”

“What does this have to do with- Oh, hey. You know what? Fuck you.”

A breathy chuckle left David’s lips as his arms shot up in the air. He stretched, his left shoulder popping and muscles straining before finally murky blue eyes found Konnor.

“Did you go for a swim?”

“Courtesy of your ex in the middle of Potions,” Konn retorted dryly. 

Ex seemed a poor choice of words as David’s gaze quickly skated away. He had a funny way of showing he was hurting by always avoiding it.

The Slytherin quickly went on to correct himself, breathing out a sigh. “Hey, you mind giving me a quick dry, at least? I just want to talk about this.”

“She’s not my problem anymore, Konnor. I can’t help her if I can’t help myself. If she wants to go around acting like a deranged wolverine, kudos. I'm done.” He stood, quickly moving to swipe his wand off of his bedside table and pointed it at his friend. 

A swift incantation sent a powerful gust of warm air spiraling out over Konn. His robes flew back, hair whipping about. When the spell faded, he looked grossly windswept, but dry. 

Quickly, Konnor moved to lick his hands, smoothing down the fluffy cloud of white hair puffed atop his head. 

“Thanks for that.”

“You asked.” 

David threw himself back onto his bed, this time with arms locked behind his head and knees bent to leave room for the Slytherin. Picking up on it, Konnor collapsed at the end of the bed, the subtle thrum of the guitar jostling at the end of the Gryffindor’s bed catching his attention. 

“...Alright, look. I’m not going to pretend to understand what is going on with you two. Honestly, the hot and cold is hard to keep up with, but Merula has gone right back to pestering me as always.” 

“What she does when we’re not together isn’t anything I’m concerned with. Sorry if it ends up on you.”

“So you really don’t care at all that she’s taking up old behaviors?”

“No.”

There was a slight raise of octave in David’s voice and he sat up enough to come to eye level with his friend. His gaze held warning. “I can’t care about a single damn thing she does, Konnor. I’m losing my fucking marbles as it is, so lay off.”

A quiet scoff left the Slytherin’s lips and he fell back to drape half off the bed going across it, as if in defeat. 

“So what is it? Moving on to Penny? Or Tulip again? What do you hope to gain here by fucking every girl you see? They deserve better than that.”

“Well that isn’t any of your business.”

“Isn’t it? They’re my friends too. Just because they care about you doesn’t mean you should take advantage of them.”

David felt himself bristle. “The hell do you know? You used Tulip once. She's perfectly happy being a fuck buddy.”

“I asked her to be my fake girlfriend, there is a difference. If you plan to focus on yourself, actually do it. Don’t focus between their legs.”

Konnor knew he was testing the boy’s patience. He noted the way fists curled into bed sheets to keep from hauling off at his friend.

“You know what, just forget it. Who’s side are you even on here?” Konnor questioned.

“The side that enjoys female company that isn't Merula with a pint in between. Anything else?”

It was hard to argue. As much as Konnor desperately couldn’t handle another phase of Merula’s tyranny, it wasn’t as if it was truly detrimental to his health. She’d grown past actually trying to genuinely harm him. At the end of the day, they shared friends, shared goals. 

He couldn’t rely on David for this. Even if his coping raised a fire in the Slytherin’s gut, he had no right to butt in.

“You’re impossible, it’s not like I can stop you, so your side it is. We’ve all had it hard haven’t we?”

The tension in David began to release as the other boy backed down from his stance. He always riled so easy. His shoulders sank. “That’s an understatement.”

“It is. But fuck Merula and fuck everything else.”

Konnor rolled onto his side, his arm lashing out to find the glossy red guitar. His fingers curled around its neck and in a single sweep he lofted it onto the bed, brandishing it for the Gryffindor’s taking.

“What are you doing?”

“Catch up, David. I’ve been ordering muggle rock tapes by owl every week now. Hal got me that cassette tape and I’ve practically run it into the ground with overuse.”

“You want me to play?”

Konn jammed his arm out behind him, swinging his weight up off his elbow to dig both feet back into the rug laid out beneath David’s bed. He swiftly spun on his heel, striking a pose and mimicking playing his invisible air guitar. 

“I learned different guitars make different sounds, eh? So we’ll just have to be imaginative. Give me ‘Sharp Dressed Man’ on three.”

David didn’t have it in him to deny such a request. With an amused sigh, he eased the guitar into his lap, letting his fingers find the strings. His thumb brushed over once in testing. 

“You’re crazy. You know this won’t sound even close to the same, right? Mine’s-”

“I am crazy. This place makes us crazy, so play that damn guitar and for a second lets not care at all. Snape gave me detention.”

That time, the brunette truly laughed. He shook his head, finding the chords in the back of his mind, and began to strum. 

The acoustic was incredibly different from the electric rock song that hit much harder with available muggle technology, but Konnor jumped in immediately. Not a singer by any means, but bold enough in the quiet of the Boy’s dorms to belt out the lyrics as he knew them. 

David was much more talented. A musical savant for someone who rarely showed off, his voice made up for Konn’s sharper pitch as the Slytherin tried to contain his own laughter. 

Over the noise, they scarcely heard the approach of another up the steps. Not until caught dead in the act of furious head bobbing to their own shitshow.

“This is why Konnor isn’t allowed in the Gryffindor rooms,” a voice muttered.

David paused mid stroke, his hand clasping down over the guitar strings as a coy smirk lifted towards Ethren who rubbed his temples in the doorway.

“Oh shut up, Whitecross, we’re having a pity party,” Konnor retorted.

“I’d pity myself too if I sounded like that.”

David gave a snort. “You know bloody well I got the pipes of Bon Jovi. Care to liven us up with your tone deafness?”

“No thanks.” Ethren swung around to his side of the room, collapsing down on his bed with his eyes closed. 

Several moments of silence ticked by before finally a baby blue peeked open towards the two out of breath boys across from him. 

“Well? I never said you had to stop. I could use the laugh.”

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #writing #prompt #David Grant #Konnor Rainwater #Ethren Whitecross #Merula Snyde

[theunvanquishedzims]

Calming my post-election anxiety with sweet sweet logic

So Trump is a wannabe dictator with crazy screaming fans who are headed toward violent armed meltdowns. What’s to stop him from going full dictator and refusing to leave office?

I’m glad you asked!

You see, the major difference between wannabe dictators and actual dictators is ALLIES. Dictators are surrounded with tight security, aided by the military, cheered on by media that they control, and are either helped, encouraged, or just ignored by other countries with the power to stop them.

Trump has charged the Secret Service money for the privilege of protecting him and his family since day one. You remember the first year, when his wife and son refused to move to the White House so the Secret Service had to RENT FLOORS in TRUMP’S BUILDING to be close to them? And how his extended family went globetrotting and the Secret Service had to accompany them? And when Trump himself insisted on hosting people at his golf club, he made the Secret Service RENT GOLF CARTS from TRUMP’S CLUB to follow him while he went golfing?

The end result was that halfway through the first year of his presidency, the Secret Service could not pay their own wages. Because half their yearly budget had gone straight to Trump’s pockets. And that’s just financially. I think we all remember how the White House came down with Covid and Trump still insisted on Secret Service agents driving him around to wave at people. He has not been kind to the people who are sworn to protect him. These people have had a front-row seat to his circus since 2016. When the time comes from Trump to leave the White House and Biden to take over, I doubt they’ll betray the country out of loyalty to Trump. If anything, they’ll be the ones to drag him out.

As for the military, Trump insulted and fired four generals from his administration staff. He said on multiple occasions that soldiers who get captured or killed are suckers and losers. He refused to visit a cemetery to honor the dead because it was raining. He tries to pander to the military by massive increases in defense spending, but that money goes to capitalists who make weapons and war technology, not the soldiers or veterans. (He also hypocritically accused military officials of being in bed with those same companies.) In a poll of 1000 service members 50% said they disliked Trump. Overall, he doesn’t act like a leader, and the way he skirts responsibility (like taking charge during the pandemic) doesn’t appeal to a group that functions on trust in their leadership.

A proper dictator would have spent the last four years cozying up to his generals and making sure they knew the financial and social benefits of answering to him personally, not the office of the President. And while Trump did adhere to the adage “find a foreign foe” to unite people against, he badly misjudged what most US citizens consider “foreign.” He hasn’t found a villain that we would root for the military taking down, and the people he targets (Latinx, Blacks, immigrants, and people in countries our military has already devastated) are not a minority he can turn the majority of the country against, especially with how many of the former two serve in the military themselves. When the time comes for him to leave office, the military might be the first to cut ties with the wannabe Dictator-in-Chief.

Now, the media. They’ve been treating him like a joke candidate since day one, but after he was actually elected and took office they’ve started to take him more seriously. He’s gotten his catchphrase “fake news!” to catch on, but that doesn’t change the fact that under his administration news reporters have been harassed, illegally arrested, and generally poorly treated by Trump, especially if they’re women. He’s trashed talked everyone, with Fox News being the last bastion of semi-legitimate news that openly supports him (and their credibility has taken a big hit over it.)

Despite this support, in recently months Trump has been increasingly dumping on Fox, even throwing the mediator they provided for the debate under the bus, and risking alienating them in the process. If his supporters listen to him and start considering Fox part of Big Fake News, it might possibly be the death of Fox, leaving most of his supporters adrift and isolated from their source of right-wing news, and sending the more extreme fringes into the arms of conspiracy theory websites. (I’m not saying this is bad, being cut off from Fox and its toxic stream of “information” can actually help rehabilitate the right.)

Honestly, I don’t think Trump ever had a shot at controlling the media like a dictator would, mainly because of social media. He’s in love with attention, and Twitter has provided him a nonstop stream of it. No other President has threatened, insulted, promoted, or hinted at war over social media the way Trump has, and he gets so much direct feedback and interaction with the public and the world as a result. He could have leveraged that by buying the company (through a shell corporation, obviously) and setting it up as The One True Source of Information, manipulating public perception of him and his administration by keeping a tight grip on what information he let out.

But he’s just. Not. That. Clever. He blurts out everything that crosses his mind, leaving his administration to play clean-up on his messes, put out fires he keeps pouring gasoline on, and claim he’s joking when everyone knows he’s testing the limits on what he can get away with saying. He took advantage of the direct communication with legions of supporters, but seemed to forget that his detractors had equal access and would absolutely call him out on things he definitely said, it’s right there on his Twitter account, they have the Tweet pulled up on their phone right now. Instead of operating a single state-run media outlet while crushing all free press and limiting internet access like other dictators, he’s mooned the world’s cameras and acted surprised when they put his saggy butt on tv. “Fake news! That’s not my butt! THIS is my butt! [image attached]” he tweets. “Twitter is so biased, they haven’t censored any of Sleepy Joe’s photos!” he later tweets.

And lastly. The key to a dictatorship’s success. To prevent outside intervention, the country a dictator runs must be unimportant and ignored, wealthy and well-connected, or scary and well-armed. Minor warlords are the former, Putin is the latter, Trump might have weaseled his way into being the middle. But at the end of the day, America’s whole thing is new leadership every four years. It was revolutionary to replace a lineage of kings and queens stretching generations with a non-royal elected leader who only held office for four to eight years, but we’ve stuck to that for 200 years and everyone’s used to it by now. It would take a charismatic and powerful person to move the American people towards abolishing such a basic tenant of our democracy, and despite the mob mentality that lead a small portion of his supporters to chant “sixteen more years!” in the heat of the moment, Trump is not that charismatic. He’s not that smart. He’s not that well-connected. He’s not that savvy. He’s not that good at politics. And he’s not that powerful.

(I was going to say something here about him being the laughingstock of the world’s leaders and shouldn’t expect any outsiders to help him stay in power, especially since his tax returns came out and showed he owes people a ton of money that he doesn’t have, but this post is long enough so let’s cut to the chase.)

Trump is a greedy, small-minded man that has clung to power by appealing to the worst in humanity and scraping away at the best. But he hasn’t succeeded. He’s a sad old man who will say anything to be loved, and I don’t think he even knows what love is, so he’ll settle for attention. He doesn’t have money, he doesn’t have an army, and the only allies he has are using him as a political pawn to further their own interests. They will cut him loose the minute he stops being useful.

Now, the bad part: crazy screaming fans. Fringe groups on the internet. Mobs chanting “sixteen more years!” Men with guns and bombs and kidnapping plots, men trying to get into voting centers to destroy the election, men driving trucks with black flags that say FUCK YOUR FEELINGS, TRUMP 2020 (available on Amazon for $11.99, I wish I was joking.) I have no idea how many people in this country genuinely love Trump. It is hopefully significantly less than voted for him. There are some big issues in this country that are make-or-break, and unfortunately by reason of running Republican Trump has aligned himself with some of them.

There are people who hate everything about Trump, but he put a pro-life judge on the Supreme Court so they’re voting for him. There are people who are uncomfortable with Trump, but they’ve forgiven their grandpa for saying worse at Thanksgiving dinner, so they’ll vote for him. There are people who don’t know a single thing about Donald Trump, but they see (Republican) next to his name on the ballot, so they vote for him. None of that means those people will side with him if he tries to make a move towards dictatorship.

Now there are people who love Trump. They’ve heard and seen the vile things he’s said and done, and are genuinely okay with it, because they are full of hate and rage and want to change the world to put themselves on top. I do not know how many of these people there are. I know they exist all over the country, not just in red states. I know some of them have guns and want a reason to use them, because they’ve been talking about it for decades. I don’t know if we can trust the police to side with us over them if fights start breaking out. (And I pray pray PRAY people de-escalate any fights, because monkey see monkey do, and one news report of a MAGA extremist shooting someone can inspire a hundred copycats can lead to full-on civil war like we've never seen.) I know we need to be careful the next few months, to take care of ourselves and watch out for the more vulnerable in our communities.

And above all, I know this: Trump is not going to keep this country. He got it through trickery and deceit and foreign influence and national indifference and people not taking him seriously. We’ve learned. We’ve grown. We’re taking him seriously now, and we will not let him take what we’ve already told him he can’t have. The election is over. He’s a loser. He’d better start packing his bags. Because he’s not staying in office.

#politics #long post #best case scenario: he tries to rehabilitate his rep as a man of the people #by pushing massive amounts of money into direct stimulus #funds it by cutting the military budget in half #everyone gets several thousand dollars next month #he screws over every white collar criminal he ever had help from #exposes a lot of corruption and behind-the-scenes stuff #and pardons every convict in jail on weed charges #''he really drained the swamp'' everyone says admiringly #''only took him four years and an impeachment'' #then he gets convicted of crimes and runs away to Russia #where he's found dead in a snowbank #because PUTIN IS NOT YOUR FRIEND YOU USELESS LUMP #Melina inherits everything and never sets foot in the US again #the Obamas send her a gift basket every Christmas #at least one of his kids runs for president #and gets laughed out of the party #the kid in question might be Ivanka who gets a concerning amount of radfem votes #it's definitely not Barron though #(watch me eat those words in 21 years)

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Why Is It So Hard for Democrats to Act Like They Actually Won?

By

Rebecca Solnit

November 19, 2020

When Trump won the 2016 election—while losing the popular vote—the New York Times seemed obsessed with running features about what Trump voters were feeling and thinking. These pieces treated them as both an exotic species and people it was our job to understand, understand being that word that means both to comprehend and to grant some sort of indulgence to. Now that Trump has lost the 2020 election, the Los Angeles Times has given their editorial page over to letters from Trump voters, who had exactly the sort of predictable things to say we have been hearing for far more than four years, thanks to the New York Times and what came to seem like about 11,000 other news outlets hanging on the every word of every white supremacist they could convince to go on the record.

The letters editor headed this section with, “In my decade editing this page, there has never been a period when quarreling readers have seemed so implacably at odds with each other, as if they get their facts and values from different universes. As one small attempt to bridge the divide, we are providing today a page full of letters from Trump supporters.” The implication is the usual one: we—urban multiethnic liberal-to-radical only-partly-Christian America—need to spend more time understanding MAGA America. The demands do not go the other way. Fox and Ted Cruz and the Federalist have not chastised their audiences, I feel pretty confident, with urgings to enter into discourse with, say, Black Lives Matter activists, rabbis, imams, abortion providers, undocumented valedictorians, or tenured lesbians. When only half the divide is being tasked with making the peace, there is no peace to be made, but there is a unilateral surrender on offer. We are told to consider this bipartisanship, but the very word means both sides abandon their partisanship, and Mitch McConnell and company have absolutely no interest in doing that.

Paul Waldman wrote a valuable column in the Washington Post a few years ago, in which he pointed out that this discord is valuable fuel to right-wing operatives: “The assumption is that if Democrats simply choose to deploy this powerful tool of respect, then minds will be changed and votes will follow. This belief, widespread though it may be, is stunningly naive.” He notes that the sense of being disrespected “doesn’t come from the policies advocated by the Democratic Party, and it doesn’t come from the things Democratic politicians say. Where does it come from? An entire industry that’s devoted to convincing white people that liberal elitists look down on them. The right has a gigantic media apparatus that is devoted to convincing people that liberals disrespect them, plus a political party whose leaders all understand that that idea is key to their political project and so join in the chorus at every opportunity.”

There’s also often a devil’s bargain buried in all this, that you flatter and, yeah, respect these white people who think this country is theirs by throwing other people under the bus—by disrespecting immigrants and queer people and feminists and their rights and views. And you reinforce that constituency’s sense that they matter more than other people when you pander like this, and pretty much all the problems we’ve faced over the past four years, to say nothing of the last five hundred, come from this sense of white people being more important than nonwhites, Christians than non-Christians, native-born than immigrant, male than female, straight than queer, cis-gender than trans.

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito just complained that “you can’t say that marriage is a union between one man and one woman. Now it’s considered bigotry.” This is a standard complaint of the right: the real victim is the racist who has been called a racist, not the victim of his racism, the real oppression is to be impeded in your freedom to oppress. And of course Alito is disingenuous; you can say that stuff against marriage equality (and he did). Then other people can call you a bigot, because they get to have opinions too, but in his scheme such dissent is intolerable, which is fun coming from a member of the party whose devotees wore “fuck your feelings” shirts at its rallies and popularized the term “snowflake.”

Nevertheless, we get this hopelessly naïve version of centrism, of the idea that if we’re nicer to the other side there will be no other side, just one big happy family. This inanity is also applied to the questions of belief and fact and principle, with some muddled cocktail of moral relativism and therapists’ “everyone’s feelings are valid” applied to everything. But the truth is not some compromise halfway between the truth and the lie, the fact and the delusion, the scientists and the propagandists. And the ethical is not halfway between white supremacists and human rights activists, rapists and feminists, synagogue massacrists and Jews, xenophobes and immigrants, delusional transphobes and trans people. Who the hell wants unity with Nazis until and unless they stop being Nazis?

I think our side, if you’ll forgive my ongoing shorthand and binary logic, has something to offer everyone and we can and must win in the long run by offering it, and offering it via better stories and better means to make those stories reach everyone. We actually want to see everyone have a living wage, access to healthcare, and lives unburdened by medical, student, and housing debt. We want this to be a thriving planet when the babies born this year turn 80 in 2100. But the recommended compromise means abandoning and diluting our stories, not fortifying and improving them (and finding ways for them to actually reach the rest of America, rather than having them warped or shut out altogether). I’ve spent much of my adult life watching politicians like Bill Clinton and, at times, Barack Obama sell out their own side to placate the other, with dismal results, and I pray that times have changed enough that Joe Biden will not do it all over again.

Among the other problems with the LA Times’s editor’s statement is that one side has a lot of things that do not deserve to be called facts, and their values are too often advocacy for harming many of us on the other side. Not to pick on one news outlet: Sunday, the Washington Post ran a front-page sub-head about the #millionMAGAmarch that read “On stark display in the nation’s capital were two irreconcilable versions of America, each refusing to accept what the other considered to be undeniable fact.” Except that one side did have actual facts, notably that Donald J. Trump lost the election, and the other had hot and steamy delusions.

I can comprehend, and do, that lots of people don’t believe climate change is real, but is there some great benefit in me listening, again, to those who refuse to listen to the global community of scientists and see the evidence before our eyes? A lot of why the right doesn’t “understand” climate change is that climate change tells us everything is connected, everything we do has far-reaching repercussions, and we’re responsible for the whole, a message at odds with their idealization of a version of freedom that smells a lot like disconnection and irresponsibility. But also climate denial is the result of fossil fuel companies and the politicians they bought spreading propaganda and lies for profit, and I understand that better than the people who believe it. If half of us believe the earth is flat, we do not make peace by settling on it being halfway between round and flat. Those of us who know it’s round will not recruit them through compromise. We all know that you do better bringing people out of delusion by being kind and inviting than by mocking them, but that’s inviting them to come over, which is not the same thing as heading in their direction.

The editor spoke of facts, and he spoke of values. In the past four years too many members of the right have been emboldened to carry out those values as violence. One of the t-shirts at the #millionMAGAmarch this weekend: “Pinochet did nothing wrong.” Except stage a coup, torture and disappear tens of thousands of Chileans, and violate laws and rights. A right-wing conspiracy to overthrow the Michigan government and kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer was recently uncovered, racists shot some Black Lives Matter protestors and plowed their cars into a lot of protests this summer. The El Paso anti-immigrant massacre was only a year ago; the Pittsburgh synagogue massacre two years ago, the Charlottesville white-supremacist rally in which Heather Heyer was killed three years ago (and of course there have been innumerable smaller incidents all along). Do we need to bridge the divide between Nazis and non-Nazis? Because part of the problem is that we have an appeasement economy, a system that is supposed to be greased by being nice to the other side.

Appeasement didn’t work in the 1930s and it won’t work now. That doesn’t mean that people have to be angry or hate back or hostile, but it does mean they have to stand on principle and defend what’s under attack. There are situations in which there is no common ground worth standing on, let alone hiking over to. If Nazis wanted to reach out and find common ground and understand us, they probably would not have had that tiki-torch parade full of white men bellowing “Jews will not replace us” and, also, they would not be Nazis. Being Nazis, white supremacists, misogynists, transphobes is all part of a project of refusing to understand as part of refusing to respect. It is a minority position but by granting it deference we give it, over and over, the power of a majority position.

In fact the whole Republican Party, since long before Trump, has committed itself to the antidemocratic project of trying to create a narrower electorate rather than win a wider vote. They have invested in voter suppression as a key tactic to win, and the votes they try to suppress are those of Black voters and other voters of color. That is a brutally corrupt refusal to allow those citizens the rights guaranteed to them by law. Having failed to prevent enough Black people from voting in the recent election, they are striving mightily to discard their votes after the fact. What do you do with people who think they matter more than other people? Catering to them reinforces that belief, that they are central to the nation’s life, they are more important, and their views must prevail. Deference to intolerance feeds intolerance.

Years ago the linguist George Lakoff wrote that Democrats operate as kindly nurturance-oriented mothers to the citizenry, Republicans as stern discipline-oriented fathers. But the relationship between the two parties is a marriage, between an overly deferential wife and an overbearing and often abusive husband (think of how we got our last two Supreme Court justices and failed to get Merrick Garland). The Hill just ran a headline that declared “GOP Senators say that a Warren nomination would divide Republicans.” I am pretty sure they didn’t run headlines that said, “Democratic Senators say a Pompeo (or Bolton or Perdue or Sessions) nomination would divide Democrats.” I grew up in an era where wives who were beaten were expected to do more to soothe their husbands and not challenge them, and this carries on as the degrading politics of our abusive national marriage.

Some of us don’t know how to win. Others can’t believe they ever lost or will lose or should, and their intransigence constitutes a kind of threat. That’s why the victors of the recent election are being told in countless ways to go grovel before the losers. This unilateral surrender is how misogyny and racism are baked into a lot of liberal and centrist as well as right-wing positions, this idea that some people need to be flattered and buffered even when they are harming the people who are supposed to do the flattering and buffering, even when they are the minority, even when they’re breaking the law or lost the election. Lakoff didn’t quite get to the point of saying that this nation lives in a household full of what domestic abuse advocates call coercive control, in which one partner’s threats, intimidations, devaluations, and general shouting down control the other.

This is what marriages were before feminism, with the abused wife urged to placate and soothe the furious husband. Feminism is good for everything, and it’s a good model for seeing that this is both outrageous and a recipe for failure. It didn’t work in marriages, and it never was the abused partner’s job to prevent the abuse by surrendering ground and rights and voice. It is not working as national policy either. Now is an excellent time to stand on principle and defend what we value, and I believe it’s a winning strategy too, or at least brings us closer to winning than surrender does. Also, it’s worth repeating, we won, and being gracious in victory is still being victorious.

[Rebecca Solnit’s first media job was in fact-checking and her last book is the memoir Recollections of My Nonexistence. She’s sent a lot of mail to her nieces and nephews during the pandemic.]

#words and writing #Rebecca Solnit #Recollections of My Nonexistence #feminism #assault on the Capitol #Corrupt GOP #Criminal GOP #abuse #words and writiing #my favorites #Nazis

[angelicthor]

billion dollar man - part 2

pairing: tony stark x reader

summary:  after mounting bills and debt cause you to look at alternative means of making money, you’re thrown into a whole different kind of life when one of the most famous billionaires on the block offers to be your sugar daddy, of course in exchange for a different from of payment. non-superhero au.

warnings/genre: +18 only, sugarbaby/daddy relationship

masterlist | billion dollar man masterlist

You were completely stunned by the man in front of you, Tony fucking Stark; The most infamous billionaire playboy there ever was. Stark had inherited his company from his father, it was originally weapons manufacturing and Tony had transformed it from a million-dollar company to the biggest weapons corporation in the world, but he had since abandoned that line of work after he was held hostage by terrorists in Afghanistan.

The entire event had been covered by every news station in America, there wasn’t a day that went by without every channel providing an update on the situation, although most had given up hope for him after a few days. But against all odds, Stark had actually managed to survive and escape, his perspective entirely changed from the experience, vowing to never create weapons again after seeing what they were used for. Instead he focused his entire company into clean energy and honestly, the man had created some revolutionary stuff.

You had always considered the entire change of heart to be quite noble, it takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong and Stark had been very wrong. Not only that but the whole world was against him when he did it, stocks were dropping from his company, high-level employees threatened to walk and, according to Babble Babe, he lost a good number of friends over the whole fiasco. And yet, he stuck by his beliefs and actually made it work. You admired his integrity.

His business, however, didn’t make nearly as many headlines as the man himself and he happened to by Babble Babe’s favourite topic. You could guarantee that after every event New York had, the next day Tony Stark was involved in some scandal or another, he was an infamous womanizer who was forever been photographed with a different woman – or two or three – on his arm every time he was seen. Which led you to the question: why the hell was he doing this?

Your nerves amplified, your mouth drying as you released you were on a date with none other than the notorious billionaire himself – what the hell were you going to do? In you star-struck daze, you completely forgot why you were here, needing to impress him in order to solidify your arrangement.

Realising you were just standing there shamelessly gawking at the man in front of you, you hurriedly took your seat across from him, cheeks burning at the smirk that pulled at his lips and the way his eyes roamed over you appreciatively. 

“You were right: I definitely know who you are,” You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief at the situation you were in.

The chuckle that left his mouth was warm, washing over you like a calming wave, “And I was certainly right about wanting to see you in person – gotta tell you darlin’, I am not disappointed.”

You formally introduced yourselves to each other, making mindless small talk whilst the waiter took your orders, after your food was sent off for Tony leant back in his chair, regarding you with an inquiring gaze. Squirming under the intensity residing in his twinkling brown eyes, you finally relented with a sigh, “What is it?”

He seemed amused by your candour and you became sure it was something he wasn’t used to, people in his world sugar-coated everything to the point of it being nonsensical and you just didn’t have it within you to do that; you were blunt and you appreciated people returning said bluntness. You began to wonder if this was going to work at all.

“Are you always so direct?” He arched an eyebrow at you, humour evident in his tone.

“Pretty much, yeah – I like knowing where I stand with people and I make sure people know where they stand with me; I hate playing the guessing game, it’s pointless and tiring and is a complete waste of time, is it gonna be a problem?” Your brows furrowed with concern, sure you’d been talking with a few other potential ‘daddies’ on the site but Tony had been your first choice, even before you found out who he was. You didn’t want your chances to fly away just because you spoke your mind unapologetically.

“Actually no, if anything, my opinion of you just went up. I hate people pander over me, there aren’t enough people in my life who appreciate a direct answer. I was just wondering if you wanted to address the elephant in the room, you know, the fact that this is pretty much an interview for me to become your sugar daddy,” He wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively and you couldn’t stop the boisterous laugh that burst from your lips at the gesture.

“Sure thing, where do you want to start?” You questioned him playfully, your lips curled in a smirk, on that he mirrored immediately and the atmosphere between the two of you shifted, electricity filling the air between you.

The static ambience between the two of you dimmed when the waiter brought your food over, the both of you thanking them before they were on their way, leaving you two to eat and discuss what exactly was wanted and expected from the arrangement.

“So, why exactly do you want a sugar daddy? I’m pretty sure it isn’t for the sex, a girl with your face wouldn’t struggle in that department,” You shook your head at his humour, you could see where he got his reputation from.

“I need one for the sugar part, a pretty face may get you laid but it sure as hell doesn’t pay your bills, of which mine are piling. Plus, this jig pays a pretty penny, I figured I could save enough doing this to buy a share of law-firm, become a partner somewhere ya know? Finally get to do the job I worked my ass off for in college instead of being stuck waiting tables for the rest of my life,” You sighed out, disappointed with the way your life had turned out, how the hard work you’d put into your education and career weren’t paying off because you didn’t have the funds to get you through the door.

Tony nodded in understanding, mulling over your words before he spoke: “So this isn’t a permanent thing? You aren’t going to bounce from one rich pa to pop until you get yourself a hefty retirement fund? You have plans for afterward?”

“Yeah, this isn’t how I wanted to do it but I’m getting kinda desperate. Why, did you want a professional?” You joked with him, pondering where his line of enquiry was leading.

“No, no, you’re actually exactly what I was looking for,” You arched an eyebrow in question to him, shooting him a dubious look, waiting for him to continue, “Look, I’m gonna be straight with you here. The board of Stark Industries is threatening to have me removed as CEO if I don’t show signs of stability, the risks I took remodelling it still don’t sit well with a lot of them and with my frankly reckless social life, they’re beginning to think I’m not capable to run the company. So, I need a fake significant other and to keep my image free of scandals until this all clears over; the only problem is I’m terrible at relationships – they just aren’t for me, but this, this I can do.”

The playfulness that had surrounded him all night suddenly vanished as he spoke about his company problems, the business he had spent so long on, what his father had passed down to him was being taken away from him. You couldn’t imagine how hard that must be for him, to have everything he’s worked so hard on be taken away from him because of the narrow-minded opinions of a select few, you couldn’t help but feel for him, he certainly didn’t deserve this. There was something you still didn’t understand though.

“But why get a sugar baby? You’re you; you could get a date anywhere any time – hell you normally have about three, why bother going through all of this?”

Letting out a deep sigh, he shook his head, trying to figure out how to phrase this without sounding like a complete tool: “The girls I normally date are… nice, sure. But to spend more than 24 hours with them would be mind-numbing in ways you don’t understand, to say that they aren’t of any substance is a major understatement. If this whole fake-relationship is going to work I’m going to need someone I can spend long periods of times with without wanting to stick a screwdriver in my eye.”

You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped at his exaggerated annoyance, watching him pull the most ridiculous expressions at the thought of being forced to spend prolonged time with his usual type. “So, they’re more of a one night only kind of arrangement then?”

Tony smirked at your words, sipping on the whiskey in his glass before responding, “Sure, but that’s not the only problem. I couldn’t trust those girls with what I’m asking you for here, they’d obviously have to know it was fake because I do not want to real relationship and the moment they found out they’d sell me out to the nearest gossip magazine. What I need is trust and a mutual understanding, I need-”

“You need someone who is willing to scratch your back if you scratch theirs - with discretion of course,” You interrupted him, finally understanding why the infamous Tony Stark was going to so much trouble for a date.

“Exactly, and with you wanting a career after this, I can assume you want to be as scandal-free as possible to make the best impression on your first day. We can part ways after this with a hearty handshake and no hard feelings.”

You mulled over his words; this was too perfect to be true. You’d get to live stress-free over your bills, get to taste the high-life that New York had to over, Tony wasn’t a creepy old-guy who just wanted to fuck and run back to his high-school sweetheart, you could save enough money to actual buy a partnership into a law firm, and retain your professionalism once it was over, no one would even know it happened. You honestly couldn’t believe your luck but you sure as hell weren’t going to sit back and watch your golden opportunity pass you by.

“It sounds like a good deal to me Tony, that is if I passed the interview of course,” Your voice took on a sultry tone towards the end, looking up at him through your lashes and watching as his notorious lady-killer smirk donned his face. You understood why he could get as many women to jump between the sheets with him as he did; that smirk was a dangerous thing.

Leaning across the small table, he leaned on his hands that were clasped in front of his face, his eyes showing a mischievous glint, “Well, there are a few more things I need to see before I can wholly agree to this arrangement, that is if you are still interested?”

“I’m still very much interested Mr. Stark,” your voice dripped with allure, you knew what he was getting at and you were more than willing to play along.

The waiter once again came over, noticing your empty plates, and asked if either of you would care to look at the dessert menu, you both declined choosing instead to have one more drink before you headed home.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

You kinked a brow at him, nodding at him as you sipped at the wine in your glass, “Yeah, why do you want to meet up again? Do you have another interview arranged Mr. Stark?”

Tony shook his head at your teasing tone, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip as his eyes gleamed with mirth. “Oh, you are going to be trouble in all the best ways,” You couldn’t help the playful eyeroll that occurred as he appreciatively let his gaze ravish your body, nibbling at his lip as he did, “But yes, two really – I need to see how you do in a more… intense environment, you know people coming up to us and talking about the regular bullshit of the day. I need to know you can keep up appearances so to speak, we’re going to have to do a lot of these if we go ahead. There’s a charity dinner tomorrow evening at the plaza, all the usual crowd will be there, seems like a perfect opportunity.”

You nodded your head in agreement, understanding why he needed to do this, you couldn’t just take any company to these events and you only hopped that you could pull it off – God knows you had no idea what to actual do at such formal events.

“I’m guessing you’re wearing the nicest thing you own right now?” Your back straightened as for the first time since you’d walked in, you felt you were being scrutinised by Tony Stark. “It’s not a judgement sugar – well maybe a little – I only asked so I can have some options brought over to your apartment tomorrow morning, I think I have a pretty good eye if I do say so myself.”

You laughed at him, somehow not doubting his words, Tony was a man of taste and you were certain whatever would be delivered to you would be classy and elegant.

“So, what’s part two of the interview Mr. Stark?” You looked up at him through your lashes, a small smirk on your face, knowing what he was going to say. He was paying for it after all…

Leaning back in his chair, Tony regarded you for a moment before a dark chuckle left his lips, “The second interview is of a more physical nature.”

“Got any outfit requirements for that particular stage of the interview Mr. Stark?” You couldn’t help but tease him, not knowing how exactly he was bringing out this side of you but going with it regardless.

“Oh, I do like you, I definitely made the right choice here,” He murmured, trademark smirk stretching across his lips, and you couldn’t help but let your eyes linger on the sight of them. Noticing your empty glass of wine and throwing a few more bills on the table as a tip, Tony stood, offering you his hand and leading you out of the restaurant, ignoring the hushed whispers as you were seen leaving with him, “Come on, I’ll have my driver take you home.”

Pulling you through the bustling pedestrians on the street, Tony lead you to the sleek black car parked directly outside the restaurant, the man standing outside the vehicle opening the back door for you as you and Tony approached.

“Happy, this is Y/N – Y/N this is Happy, my driver and personal security. If all goes well, you two will be seeing a lot of each other,” Tony introduced you to each other and Happy held out his hand for you to take, a warm smile on his face, he sure seemed to live up to his name.

“Nice to meet you Miss,” He nodded his head in greeting.

“Oh, no please call me Y/N, I insist.”

“Hap, we’re taking Y/N home to Brooklyn,” Tony gestured for you to get into the car as he gave Happy your address before joining you, the door shutting behind him as Happy jogged to the driver’s seat.

The car pulled away, heading into the busy New York traffic and you began to think about what tomorrow would bring. The feeling of Tony’s hand on your bare thigh brought you out of your thoughts, the simple touch sending a jolt of electricity through you that you couldn’t decipher.

Turning your head, your eyes lock with Tony’s who was already watching you. Now that you were much closer to him, you could see the little details of his features that had gone unnoticed before; the lines around his eyes that were a small indicator of his age, the different shades of brown that made up the colour of his eyes, the way his lower lashes seemed so damn prominent, the small sprinkling of silver hair in his perfectly groomed beard.

Once again, you found your gaze lingering on his lips, wanting nothing more than to lean forward and taste them. But you shook the thought from your head, now wasn’t the time.

“I’ll have your dresses brought over in the morning, probably some shoes too – You know what I’ll just get you a whole outfit, you’re going to want to accessorise right?”

“Wait – dresses, as in plural? How many do I need?” You were kind of shocked that he was so willing to buy you so much even though it wasn’t exactly official yet. Hell, he’d just bought you dinner at one of the most expensive restaurants in New York without even batting an eye, it was a concept you really weren’t familiar with, being so unconcerned with money.

Tony merely arched a brow at you, “Well yeah, it’s nice to have options. Just make sure you’re ready by 7:30, I’ll send Happy to come pick you up.”

You felt the car come to a stop and realised you were outside your apartment building, “Yeah ok, ready by 7:30 - I can do that.”

Happy walked over to open your door for you but before you could leave, Tony was pulling a card out of the inside pocket of his jacket, handing it over to you before telling you to ring if there was anything else you needed. Turning the card over in your fingers, you saw the logo of Stark industries imprinted into the black card, the gold letters catching in the low light of the car, a phone number visible under them.

“I will. I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow then Mr. Stark.” You had no idea why you did it, but you couldn’t stop yourself, leaning towards him to press a lingering kiss against his cheek.

You heard the deep chuckle that Tony emitted as you left the car, bidding Happy goodbye as he walked you to your building door, making sure everything was ok before going back to the car.

You entered your apartment with a sigh, kicking off your heels at the door before a disbelieving laugh bubbled from your throat. You had just had dinner with Tony Stark. Tony Stark wanted to be your sugar daddy. You were going to one of the high-class events at the Plaza tomorrow with Tony Stark.

How the hell had this happened?

Your whirring thoughts were broken by the ding of your phone, an alert coming through from Babble Babe, you rolled your eyes at the notification on your phone before opening the app.

Spotted: Tony Stark and new girl leaving one of NYC’s hottest restaurants. Where do we place the bets on how long this one lasts? Good luck new girl, dating a Stark is a dangerous game to play xoxo

The photo of you was of your back – Thank God – but you were amazed at how damn fast this trashy gossip site worked. God knows how they would react tomorrow. Pushing the feeling of dread aside, you stripped out of your dress and fell into the welcoming warmth of your bed, your final thoughts of the public appearance you and Tony were going to be making tomorrow.

a/n: i don’t have a tag list but if you want alerts please follow @angelicthorwrites and turn on notifications

#tony x reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark series #iron man x reader #angelicthorwrites

[pitviperofdoom]

Fundraiser Commission #2

Thank you for donating $20!

Prompt: “Shigaraki, Dabi, and Toga go to Disneyland (no ships please, unless you wanna include a bit of Dabihawks in which case I will love you forever)”

Sadly I couldn’t fit the Dabihawks in there, sorry! I ended up going AU with it, hope that’s okay!

---

Like most things that made Touya drag his feet and roll his eyes and desperately pretend not to care, it was Himiko’s idea.

She came prancing into the bar while Tenko was hard at work mopping up nose blood by Fuu’s table, because some drunk idiot thought it was a good idea to reach for her chest. “Ten-chan! Ten-chan, guess what!”

Instinct almost made him snap at her for using even a shortened form of his real name, but the only other people in the bar were Kuro and Touya, so he let it drop. “Himiko, I don’t care who you fell head over tits in love with today, I’m not helping,” he said without looking up.

She pouted, her face scrunched up in a way that made her nose even more button-like than usual. “You’re no fun, Ten-chan. Besides, it’s not even about a crush this time!”

“Stop the fuckin’ presses.” Satisfied that the floor was clean, Tenko plunked the mop back in the bucket. “What’s up?”

She bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet. “Want to go to Disneyland with me?”

For a moment he simply stared at her, blinking owlishly as he processed the question. “What.”

From the pocket of her sweater she produced two slips of paper and waved them about. “I got two all-day passes! Let’s go to Disneyland, Ten-chan!”

He squinted at her. “Where the fuck did you get two all-day passes to Disneyland.”

“I won a sweepstakes!”

Tenko stood there, still holding on to the mop handle, processing this slowly. “When did you enter—no.” He threw his hands upward. “You know what? I don’t wanna know. Fine, you won a sweepstakes. Let’s go with that. Disneyland? Great!” He caught his breath, already mentally calculating the fastest way to save up the price for a third ticket.

Blissfully unaware, Himiko tackled him with a hug around his middle and a squeal of delight.

---

Touya was doing inventory in the back when Tenko flung the door open. “Good news! We’re going to Disneyland.”

“Congratulations,” Touya answered, without looking up from his clipboard.

“You’re coming too,” Tenko informed him. “My treat! You don’t have to worry about your ticket, and I’ll buy you an obnoxiously over-priced lunch, courtesy of the mouse.”

Touya shot him a disbelieving look, and the pencil in his hand began to smolder. “Tenko, what the hell. Who else is coming?”

“Just you, me, and Himiko,” Tenko answered, and was cut off by Touya groaning loudly. “C’mon, it’s Disneyland! Haven’t you ever been to Disneyland before?”

“Oh sure, yeah, the old man used to take us every weekend. We got pictures of him posing with Goofy.”

“Great, then—wait, really?”

“No, you fucking idiot!” Touya snapped. “I wasn’t even allowed to watch movies until he decided training me was a waste of time!”

“Oh,” Tenko said softly, and for a moment Touya thought the conversation was over. “Ohoho.” Something about Tenko’s tone made him look up, and he found Tenko staring at him with wide eyes and a grin that showed just a few too many teeth.

“Tenko, what—”

“I get to show you Disneyland,” Tenko said gleefully.

“Yeah, no.” Touya turned back to the inventory. “Have fun with Himiko, bye.”

“Touya, come on,” Tenko gritted out, walking into the back room and closing the door behind him. “You have to come. You can’t make me go alone with her!”

“Why not?” Touya asked. “She likes you better than me.”

“Because I need you to help me rein her in so she doesn’t get me perma-banned from Disneyland!”

It was frustratingly hard not to laugh at that. “What do you need my help for?” he asked. “What makes you think I’ll be any better at keeping her from biting the park staff than you are?”

Tenko shot him an impressive stink-eye. “Oh, I’m sorry, which one of us was an older sibling again?”

“Oh, what, you think that means I’m genetically predisposed to wrangling infants? That’s weak, Tenko.” He turned away with what he hoped was finality. “Have fun without me.”

After a moment of silence, Tenko answered, “I mean, we will. I didn’t think you’d be so bent on missing the show.”

Damn him, that was a good point. “If you’re so excited to drag me to a corporate shitshow of obvious pandering to a target audience, then why do you want me to come on the one day you’re pretty much guaranteed to get kicked out?”

“Because everybody and their grandma will have a camera and internet access, and if we end up plastered all over the internet, there’s a chance somebody’ll look at it and say, ‘Hey, isn’t that Endeavor’s kid getting maced by Minnie Mouse?’”

Touya whipped around to scowl at him. Tenko offered a disarming smile.

“Bullshit,” Touya retorted. “The mascots don’t carry mace. Do they?”

“Nah. Disney’s kind of obsessed with their squeaky-clean image. Did you know that if you die in Disneyland, they won’t let the paramedics call it until you’re out of the park so they can pretend nobody has ever died in Disneyland?”

“How many people die in Disneyland?” Touya demanded.

Tenko blinked. “None, weren’t you listening?”

For a while, Touya stared at him. Tenko stared back. This was a losing battle, and he knew it. Tenko had the patience of a brick wall. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

“No.”

Touya put down the clipboard with a thud. “God damn it. Why are we friends? I hate you.” He turned back to glower at him. “When are we going?”

---

Obviously Himiko pouted when she found out that Touya was coming along on their little impromptu day trip, which was why Tenko waited to tell her until they were about to leave. She liked his company enough to prefer it over anyone else’s, and that wouldn’t do. Exclusive one-on-one positive contact with Tenko and Tenko only did not a well-socialized human being make. Tenko wished he could have invited some more people, but Himiko had sprung this on him on incredibly short notice, so there was no time to bribe anyone else to do it. Besides, his pocket money was limited and a day pass to Disneyland was like, eight thousand yen.

So they were going with Touya, and if Himiko wanted to complain about it, then Disneyland had plenty of distractions available. Once they got through the line, of course.

Tenko and Touya passed through the security check without any problems, because they weren’t stupid. Himiko, naturally, set off the metal detector.

“God damn it,” Touya muttered under his breath. “Why did we bring her again?”

“They were her tickets,” Tenko hissed back. “Technically, we’re the ones who brought you along.”

“Oh, yeah. Why did you bring me again?”

“What’s left of my sanity,” Tenko said out of the corner of his mouth. On the other side of the security gate, Himiko offered a cherubic smile that showed off just a little too much gumline, as the long-suffering security guard pulled a small metal device out of her purse. It was a nail clip, with attachments: a file, a buffer, a cuticle nipper, a cuticle pusher—basically any metal tool required in a manicure. It was like a Swiss army knife without the knife.

With a sigh, the employee put the manicure set back in her bag and waved her through. Himiko joined them with a skip in her step, and together they made their way past the entrance and into the World Bazaar.

“Did you seriously need to bring that?” Tenko asked. “What, are you planning on setting up a nail salon in the Space Mountain line?”

“Nope!” Himiko chirped. “I just didn’t want them to look harder.” She kicked up one heel so she could reach it with her hand. From inside her sock she produced an actual Swiss army knife.

“Himiko, what the fuck—”

---

“I can’t believe you actually bought those,” Touya said, glaring as if Tenko had personally affronted him.

“Bought what?” Tenko said innocently, reaching up to touch his mouse ears. “These? I brought these from home.”

“You still bought them at some point!”

“I think they look cute, Ten-chan!” Himiko hung onto his arm, squeezing tight enough to measure his blood pressure with her bare hands. “Don’t listen to him, he’s no fun! They look super cute, especially with your hair!”

Tenko let himself preen a little, because at least someone had good taste.

“Are those rose gold?” Touya asked.

“Maybe.”

“And you seriously shelled out for that?” Touya pulled a face. “Last month you tore me a new asshole for wanting to buy hero merch.”

“Oh fuck you—hi.” Tenko paused to wave at the park employee who was leveling a cheerfully pointed customer service smile at him. “Touya, you wanted to buy the store’s entire stock of Endeavor merch just so you could burn it.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Touya said sullenly. Himiko pouted, because she usually tried to avoid agreeing with Touya on principle.

“Uh, one, pollution,” Tenko said, counting off on his fingers. “Two, your money management sucks and you need to get it together. And three, you’re still giving money to the guy you hate. If you really want to snub him, just shoplift it. Or bootleg it. And speaking of which, that’s exactly what I did.” He gestured vaguely upward.

“Those are bootleg Mickey Mouse ears?”

“Bought ‘em from an artist on Etsy,” Touya said proudly. “The mouse had just sent her a cease-and-desist, so I got a pretty sweet deal.”

“Ten-chan, can I wear them?” Himiko asked. “I’ve always wanted Disney ears!”

He tugged on one of her side-buns, making her squeak. “Don’t waste your money, you already got ‘em.”

---

“I’m in hell,” Touya said serenely, slipping further and further down in his seat. “This is hell, right? It has to be hell.”

“I’m getting more of a purgatorian wasteland vibe,” Tenko remarked. “Like, this isn’t quite on the level of, say, Chuck E. Cheese, in terms of children’s media hope-abandonment, but… I dunno. I can imagine this playing as I eternally wander in search of penance for my past sins, or something.”

“I’m just waiting for one of those furry bastards to step off the stage and straight-up eat a kid,” Touya said, earning a glare from a nearby grandmother. “Like that one, with the guitar and the pouty mouth. Imagine that guy just unhinging his jaw like a snake and swallowing a toddler in the front row.”

“Huh.” Tenko leaned on one hand, squashing his cheek to the side. “Yeah, I could see it.”

Two seats down, Himiko continued to bounce and sing along to the twanging country music, blissfully unaware of the dull-eyed mother of three popping an aspirin and glaring at her.

---

“Okay, so we’ve been through the World Bazaar, Westernland, Adventureland, Critter Country—”

“I wanna go on Splash Mountain again!” Himiko cheered, throwing her hands in the air excitedly. She nearly punched Touya in her enthusiasm, but he quickly sidled out of the way, pulling the map close so that she wouldn’t tear a hole in it by accident.

“We can do that later,” he informed her. “We’re in Fantasyland—hang on, why am I the map guy?”

“You’re the oldest,” Tenko said.

“This trip was your idea! I didn’t even want to come!”

“Really? Because that wasn’t what you said when we got off of Thunder Mountain—” Tenko spotted a nearby face character and hung an immediate left. “Oh hey, I just found our next stop.”

Touya lowered the map. “What? Where? If we want to fit everything in before the park closes, then we have to hurry up and get to—”

“Yeah-yeah-yeah whatever,” Tenko called over his shoulder. “This won’t take long, I just want a quick selfie with Alice.”

Touya caught up to him just so that Tenko would see his incredulous look. “Why?”

Tenko stared back. “Seriously? That’s my favorite Disney movie!”

“Since when?”

“Since I saw it! How do you not know this already?”

“I did!” Himiko piped up. “It’s my favorite, too! I love the Red Queen.”

“No, wait a minute.” Touya squinted at him. “You told me literally an hour ago that your favorite Disney princess was Aurora because, and I quote, ‘I, too, want to sleep for a hundred years and let some other asshole fight a rosebush while I enjoy my coma.’”

“Oh, yeah, I was just being a dick,” Tenko said. “Alice in Wonderland rules. No dead parents bullshit, just eighty minutes of plotless colorful mindfuck.” Before Touya could protest any further, Tenko ducked in to grab his selfie. To his credit, it did take less than a minute. Tenko wasn’t picky about selfies. Unfortunately, Himiko immediately wanted one of her own, which then became three, and then ten…

The Alice jumped, and for a split second she seemed to struggle to stay in character.

“Oops!” Himiko chirped. “Did I pinch you by accident? Sorry!” Before the Alice could reply, Himiko darted back to the boys.

“Okay, you both have your stupid selfies,” Touya said impatiently. “Now can we hurry up and get to—”

“There’s a gift shop!” Himiko shrieked. “I’m gonna go see the gift shop!” Before either of them could answer, she raced off through the crowd.

Touya groaned loudly before Tenko dragged him after her. “Yeah yeah, hurry up and let’s catch up before she stabs someone.”

It was easier said than done; the store was packed and the aisles were almost mazelike. “Is there a fake weapons section?” Touya asked. “We’ll probably find her there.”

“Nah, this is mostly clothes…” Tenko looked around. “Maybe… there! I see her!”

“Where?”

“By the costume dresses, come on!”

Sure enough, to their immense relief, they found her pouting over a rack of child-sized princess dresses, with minimal carnage left in her wake. “None of these will fit me,” she fretted.

“Duh,” Tenko said flatly. “Adults can’t cosplay in the parks or they’ll get confused with the face characters. Kids get a pass because nobody’s gonna mistake a four-year-old for a Disney employee.”

Himiko looked close to wailing as they gently herded her from the store. “But—but—”

“I’ll buy you one online when we get home, now come on before Touya throws a tantrum.”

Touya folded up the park map and slapped him with it.

---

“Guys! Guys! Ten-chan look! Look at that Cinderella! She’s so pretty!”

“Himiko, there’s a line!”

“You can’t just trample children, you’re gonna get us kicked out!”

“Me next! Me next! Ohhhh, I want a dress like that! Ten-chan, won’t I look pretty in that dress?”

“HIMIKO!”

---

“Personally,” Touya remarked as they stood outside the park gates near closing time. “I can’t believe we didn’t get kicked out.”

“We had some close calls,” Tenko said. “I thought we were done for back at the Cinderella castle for sure. Also five minutes ago. I can’t believe we actually got out of that.”

“You guys worry too much!” Himiko said blithely from behind a bush. “I’m very charming.”

Touya scowled. “Himiko, you literally had to turn into a different person and point security in the wrong direction.”

“And they believed me, because I’m charming!” Himiko stepped back out onto the sidewalk, once more clothed and wearing her own face. “Thanks for the clothes, Ten-chan.”

“I figured you were gonna need them at some point.” Tenko rubbed his eyes wearily. “Let’s just go home so I can take an aspirin and sleep.”

“And find a Cinderella dress for me online,” Himiko added.

Tenko’s headache kicked up a notch. “Damn it, I was hoping you forgot.”

“Nope! I remember everything you’ve ever told me.”

---

“Hey Ten-chan. Ten-chan.”

“Yeah, Himiko.”

“I just wanted you to know I was kidding about the princess dress. I don’t even need it!”

“Mm-hm.”

“Wanna know why?”

“Yeah sure.”

“You’re not even looking! You have to look.”

Distracted, Tenko turned to look at her, and promptly fell out of his chair when he found himself staring at the Cinderella face character from the park, smiling Himiko’s smile.

“Is it too much?” The disguise sloughed off of her, revealing the Alice face character instead. “How about this, Ten-chan? You said Alice was your favorite, right?”

“Himiko, what the fuck.”

#my hero academia #shimura tenko #todoroki touya #dabi #toga himiko #commission #fanfiction #tales from the pit #dad night au