#I have no idea why this scenario amuses me so much. leave me alone

[lovable-liar]

OMG THOUGHTS: being hasan's partner and another host on fear&? recently started watching the podcast and there's so much chaos going on lol

𝗛𝗮𝘀𝗮𝗻 + 𝗙𝗲𝗮𝗿& 𝗖𝗼-𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

🔞 One slightly NSFW point

So much to say, so little time…

I’m gonna break this down into scenarios and actual episodes!

QT absolutely lets you come to see Taylor, no questions asked. She loves you.

Will gets you a onesie based on your FAVORITE thing in this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmFb4kgGJ7c&t=2307s

Helping Hasan with his ear and being there to see this and having basically the same reaction as Hasan (41:06): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urq6k1eL3xw&t=2989s

Your guys’ reactions go viral on twitter and some couples make them into matching pfps.

(Maybe, possibly, trying it out with him?)

Sitting in between him and Will (you would definitely be best friends with Austin and QT but you are by far closest with Will)

On the days that you guys have had an argument, you sit next to QT and Austin sits between Will and Hasan instead, but later in the pod you guys make up:

“Welcome back to the Fear& podcast, today I am joined with my co-hosts: Will, Austin, QT and Y/N.”

“Oh, so I’m Y/N now?”

“Okay- can we just- establish for the podcast. Austin, QT and I got here and found Hasan and Y/N giving each other the silent treatment and I’d just love for you guys to tell the viewers why.” Will points out, sounding very amused.

“He called me Kaya.”

“It was an accident!”

“You think I’m a dog!”

“No I don’t!”

“Yeah, you do! You think I’m a big, slobbering dog!”

“Y/N.”

But then, Austin and Will get up to help the postmates guy get to the house (because you’re in a gated community) and QT has to take a call, leaving you and Hasan alone (minus Marche.)

“I didn’t mean to call you Kaya.”

“Mhm?”

“I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!”

“Sure you are.”

“I love Kaya.”

"Okay?"

“I love you.”

“Okay?”

“In a way it’s a compliment.”

“To be equated to a big, slobbering dog?”

“No. To be equated to another thing I love very much, regardless of what it is! I mean, at least I didn’t objectify you like Steven Crowder did with his wife recently!”

“You have such a way with words, Hasan.”

“I’m very sorry, though, darling.”

“I forgive you. I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment instead of talking about it.”

The chaos is INSANE!

Getting to have a gossip section with QT every episode <3

Being SUPER hungover (whether you drank or not) on an episode after going to the Abbey with Austin.

If you crochet or knit (like I do) you definitely make a blanket big enough for all of you to share, you make coasters for everyone (including for guests to take home) and even make everyone their own sweater with the “Fear&” logo on it for every holiday <3

Sitting on Hasan’s lap during this episode because there aren’t enough seats: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIB-ArzKvAk&t=144s

Schlatt teaching you chopsticks on this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBUQE-LnoaE&t=3922s

Then you teach Hasan how to play and you guys get really competitive over it that you have a whole segment on why Schlatt loves playing it so much and why he would burden such a healthy relationship with such a major competitive sport 

Telling relationship stories <3

Either QT taking your food requests over anyone else, or, helping her make requests!

Being BY FAR the funniest host on the podcast, people ask you if your back hurts having to carry it on twitter

Having Kaya in your lap all the time (when she starts getting bigger, she’s able to lay over all three of your laps at the same time)

You and Hasan often spend hours brainstorming episode ideas, discussing potential guests, and planning the overall direction of the podcast

While Hasan is known for his passionate and outspoken approach, your hosting style balances the dynamic. You provide a more measured and analytical perspective, creating a harmonious on-air chemistry that the audience appreciates

When you and Hasan disagree on a topic, it often leads to passionate debates on the podcast. These debates are respectful and engaging, showcasing your ability to “argue” and uphold a healthy, loving relationship

He will ALWAYS respect and ultimately agree with your opinion on who to bring onto the podcast

You both have your own rituals during podcasts to calm everyone down.

People have made compilations of you telling everyone to “breathe” like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVO9f04c2R0

Decorating the room with trinkets you find!

Decorating everyone’s mic with stickers that pertain to them <3

Giving the table a theme every now and again like making it look like a dinner table during the Mormon episode, making it look like a little laboratory, etc.

Doing activities! With the laboratory table in mind, I’m thinking doing those kid’s science kits where you can grow your own crystals, make a robot, and make an erupting volcano!

Making gingerbread houses with everyone (including Marche) even if it’s not the holidays

Painting pottery <3

Drawing

Writing all your worries and frustrations on a plate, only to smash them behind the paywall <3

#hasan piker smut #hasanabi #hasan piker #hasanabi x reader #hasan piker x reader #hasanabi fluff #hasanabi smut #hasan x reader

[dontbesoweirdkira]

For a cunty request can I have a time traveler reader with any of mafia? Maybe Vico or Tommy?

A/N: oh this is going to be hilarious! Thank you for requesting…stay cunty😘✨ (hopefully I did your idea some justice. I didn’t entirely know what scenario you wanted so just some general thoughts)

Warnings: ⚠️a little bit of Joe Barbaro ⚠️

Masterlist

Requests: open 24/7

I’ve chosen Vito because have you ever seen those memes where it’s like, “a victorian child would probably have an aneurysm over this”, yeah…that would be Tommy if you appeared in his timeline

Like that man is stressed the hell out enough! Don’t go ruining his life further with your shenanigans.

Besides Vito would definitely take this far better than anyone else with the exception of the characters from mafia iii. My brother has been to prison, shipped out to war, and now suddenly in the mob…he’s definitely seen some unspeakable shit..

Every soldier has at least one paranormal experience…for him it just happened to be your dumb ass.

He’s not amused by you in the slightest at first..what the fuck is an iPhone and why are you dressed like an idiot? Are you high on something or just unwell?????

“Look Lady, I really don’t have time for this shit and I have places to be. If you need something there’s a Salvation Army right down the block..”

Of course you keep persisting that you’re perfectly fine and that you’re actually from the future. I can just imagine Vito speed walking away with an exasperated expression plastered across his face; you're just continuing to spew nonsense as you follow him.

“I-I don’t want to hear you talk about your fucking bullshit future! Please just go away.”

This man’s blood pressure is through the roof at this point. He’s even trying to physically shoo you away, if it wasn’t for his background he would’ve taken you to the police department.

“Okay do you want a dollar? Huh, will that make you finally stop yapping?? Actually, here take 20 and go away.”

Eventually he just gives up. You’re the most hard headed individual he’s ever encountered and he let’s you follow him. You’re obviously not giving this up.

Partly thinks this is some kind of prank Joe set up to get back at him.

So naturally his first instinct is go go find Joe because if he has to hear the crazy shit you’re spewing, so does he.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

At first Joe is also trying to get you to leave his buddy alone. Even offering you money just like Vito did earlier but then a light bulb goes off!

Joe’s main mission in life is to piss off Vito and for him…golden opportunity right here for free.

“Sooo…Y/N was it? Tell me, if you are from the future, will Vito always be this fugly?”

“Oh shut the hell up for once would ya? This is a serious situation we have on our hands and you think this is the time to be making jokes??”

“Maybe not fugly but he will end up being a grumpy old man with no wife or kids.”

Joe absolutely loves you and you’re now besties

“Oohhhh no. You two will not be in cahoots!! Joe stop fucking around.”

Don’t worry, Vito eventually comes around to you. He kind of has to now that Joe is riding this thing so hard.

Neither one of them truly believes you though. At least not at first. It’s kind of difficult to prove until the event you’re warning them about actually comes to pass.

You are able to tell them extremely detailed facts and information about themselves and the mafia. You warn them about Henry and give tips about different tasks.

This made them suspicious of you and blew you off as some kind of narc for knowing so damn much. It wasn’t until things started becoming true, they came running right back to you.

They’re both feeling a mixture of excitement, concern and confusion.

Joe doesn’t understand that you only know main historical events and wants you to give him the winning numbers to the lottery.

Vito on the other hand thinks you’re some sort of crazy psychic or maybe one of them aliens from the film he had just seen.

Either way you’re definitely not from here.

Ultimately Vito doesn’t entirely know how to handle all of this. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to fully process this happening. After all you’ve predicted and protected him from, he just accepts that you’re who you say you are.

You’re not a threat to him and Joe seems to really enjoy having you around so I guess he doesn’t really mind you either. He lets you stay at his place too. It’s the least he could do after all your help and the shit he gave.

At least you’re not as bad as that kid, Marty.

#vito scaletta #joe barbaro #mafia headcanon #mafia ii #mafia 2 #headcanon #vito scaletta x reader #mafia trilogy #mafia definitive edition #mafia 3 #tommy angelo

[at1nys-blog]

Old and new friends

A/N: Alice in borderland season 2 spoilers so don't go further in reading this if you don't want spoilers. You have been warned if you read and get mad at me don't, it was your choice to ignore my advise. By the way I loved this show from beggining to end.

Masterlist

Pairing: readerxChishiya; readerxAnn; readerxKuina

Summary: ending up at the hospital as a patient was not in your plans today.

You had been friend with Chishiya since you had memory and the fact that you had been neighbors helped and something you found amusing was the fact that you and him ended up in the same class from kidgarden to high school and then ended up working in the same hospital.

Your parents not only were your first supporters in everything they both of you did but they were also very pressuring about your friendship, always throwing the idea for the two of you to bring your relationship on the next level.

The day started as always, your mother called you for breakfast and then started with her little show "you and Chishiya look good together" and "can you immagine how beautiful your kids would look like?"

-MUM STOP IT.- you almost choked on your natto and rice at what she said even tho you had to see it coming. Since you told them about that young girl killed just some days ago, your mum started to feel paranoide and asked you to speed just in case something bad had to happen to you. You remember rolling your eyes and told to calm down and that nothing was going to happen to you.

Once you stepped out of the metro station, in Shibuya you texted Chishiya advising him of the new idea your mother had but before you could even send it flew away out of nowhere. The only thing you remembered was just the hit of air sending you flying off of your feet and a loud sound you didn't understand what it was from.

Waking up the next day felt weird, mostly because you never thought to end up in a hospital's bed, let alone in the one in your working place. The first thing you heard the second you opened your eyes was your mother and father crying, you slowly moved to their side, head still feeling heavy, you thought it was more for the medications they gave you.

-Hey.- you said softly and you regret it so much because your mother started lecturing you for the scare you gave them. -is not like I planned it.- once again she started screaming at you it wasn't the time to joke about it. -sorry, but at least I'm okay.- just then your mind went to Chishiya, he was supposed to be in Shibuya as well at the time of the accident so he either was somewhere in the hospital or... You didn't want to think about it. But before you could even think of the worst case scenario your father reassured you he was okay.

Happiness filled your body head to toe, you felt like a big weight got lifted off of you in a second. Once your parents were forced to leave the room you decided it was the right moment to visit your dear best friend but apparently your roomate decided you weren't going anywhere because she started to ask questions, you didn't mind, you find it kinda cute especially when you noticed her parents didn't come to visit today.

When she asked if your father talked about your boyfriend it did make you feel some type of ways, you thought it was just weird when people reffered to your only close friend as your boyfriend but you shrugged it off.

-He was talking about my best friend. We have known each other since ever basically. You are here because of the meteorite too?-

-Sadly yes but I don't think it was that bad.- she laughed at it, you nodded understanding what she said, I mean you two were in the same boat right now. -I have a question, do you like him?- you were confused, why she would ask you such a thing when she knew nothing of you? -I was just curious because of your reaction, that's it.-

-Is okay, don't worry. I like him I always liked him.- you started talking about him not realizing it, but your roommate never tried to stop you, on the other hand, when the third patient in the room asked you to shut up she send daggers her way, the girl rolled her eyes and went back to sleep. -Oh my god, I forgot to introduce myself, I'm y/n and you are...-

-Kuina, I'm Kuina. I really don't want to stop your little story rn but do you want to get something to eat, I can't keep eating what they give me.-

-I just know the perfect place.- you decided to let her know about your secret place and share your snacks with her, you felt you could be have a good relationship with her so why not start in the best way possible.

On your way to your secret snack spot you kept talking and the more you talked, the more you liked her. A voice caught you off guard and you just rolled your eyes at your friend being a nuissance as ever.

-Kuina this is my friend Chishiya. Shiya meet Kuina my roommate.- they bowed slightly to each other and you kept looking around hoping no one would see you and your new friend in a restricted area. -Do you do spicy?-

-I'm sorry do you have ramen in here? You are not sup..-

Kuina shushed him for you, saying that she didn't mind some spicy noodles after an antire day of sleep. She also asked you if you had some extra cheese just in case and your eyes shined like never before. She was going to be your best friend period.

-I swear, if they find your little secret I will not have your back.- Chishiya said, leaving the room next, Kuina laughed at him and then came to see what else was avvailable in that shrine of yours.

Kuina kept asking questions and you you kept answering them, it wasn't akward at all, even because you were able to skip some if you felt like not wanting to share too much.

The girl looked behind you for a split second, you didn't notice to be honest, too immersed in your spicy ramen and extra cheese.

-Do you have other friends?- it wasn't meant in a bad connotetion and you knew it.

-Ann also is a good friend. She works with the police as a forensic analysist. She is a genius I'm telling you. The first time we meet was because of work.- you started to ramble about Ann and how closer you became with time that now you consider the woman like a big sister. You were in the middle of telling Kuina about how Ann and you almost got stucked in an escape room when one of the doctors came up to you.

-Rizuna's parents asked me to call you, she is awake and they would like you to be there.- he said and if you knew in witch room she was staying you would have already rushed there.

-Uhm...-

-Don't worry I'll be in our room if you need me. Now go.- you thanked her and then followed doctor Tanaka to your friend's room.

Once in Ann's room, you gave her a soft smile, eyes watering from the little scare she gave you and went to ask her how she was feeling and if she needed anything.

-I've had better days but I can't complain, at least I'm still alive. How are you?- you started talking, her parents in the little corner of the room looking at your little interaction, happy that their daughter found a good friends in you.

The next day you and Kuina kept getting to know eachother, you went to meet Chishiya in his room and then the three of you went to keep Ann some company since the poor thing wasn't able to leave the little space where she was confined.

You introduced your roommate to your dear friend and you noticed how easy was for them to talk to each other, it was like they meet before today. You smiled.

-You have to stop befriending everyone around you.-Chishiya told you from behind, you rolled your eyes.

-Whatever, but look at how cute they are together. Do you think they knew each other in another life?- you heard the man behind you whispering an annoyed "here we go again" -I'm serrious, look like them. Talking like they are the best of friends. I believe they meet before today.-

-That is not possible, just like...- Chishiya got interrupted by Kuina, the girl called your attention and asked you to come closer so you could play some cards games. -No thank you, I'm good here. I will watch you play.-

You were not accepting a no as an answer, no sir. You took his hand and walked him next to Kuina, you then went to the other side of the bed asking the girl to start and mix the cards. Chishiya tried to escape the situation but having all eyes on him, he thought it was better to not fight the three of you.

-Y/N you are going to pay for this.-

-Whenever you want, now stop being a kid and let's start.-

The first round was won by Kuina, who started a little victory dance, making all of you laugh, yes Chishiya too and when you pointed it out he turned serious in a second and took the cards all over the bed to play a second round. This time you ended up winning, which made your friend scoff and roll their eyes. A third round is played and so a fourth and a fifth and so on. It was fun, you had to admit it. Every time Kuina and Ann started talking you were so happy about it, so much you, you had the idea to set them uo and Chishiya, your childhood best friend saw through your smiley eyes and little smirk what was going on in that head of yours that decided to bring your presence away from the unknown couple.

-Get well soon Ann, and Kuina don't bother her too much, she needs rest.- he turned to you, inviting you to step away and follow him. -We have to talk now.-

-Shiya.... let me go. Man you are very annoying, let me play Cupid for once in my life.- you tried to go back, but the man was prepared and walked you to the other side. -You would make a terrible boyfriend.- you didn't mean it and he knew.

-Is your problem then.- you froze, was he implyig what you thought he was implying? Did he had romantic feelings for you? Or was he just playing around. When Chishiya didn't see by his side he turned to see what you were doing and when he saw you standing in the middle of the hallway he rolled his eyes. -Move now, we have to talk and I don't want some doctor or nurse spying on our conversation.-

You decided to let it slip, for now at least, and followed him in the garden in the back, you ended up in your favourite spot, away from everyone but still on hospital grounds.

-Now...- what he said didn't came to you as clear as you wish it did but the only think you got from his speech was "tomorrow"

#alice in borderland #shuntaro chishiya #hikari kuina #rizuna ann #kuina x ann #chishiya x reader #chishiya x you #chishiya x yn #chishiya x y/n #chishiya fanfic #chishiya fanfiction #chishiya imagines #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland fanfic #alice in borderland x reader insert #aib #aib imagines #aib fanfic #aib fanfiction #aib x reeader insert #chishiya alice in borderland #kuina alice in borderland #ann alice in borderland #chishiya aib #kuina aib #ann aib

[yandere-romanticaa]

stay with me. - reverse! isekai! owari no seraph preview scenarios.

I'm writing the first chapter but some of you got so excited for this fic that I couldn't help but to give you a little glimpse of how I imagine some things would be. This right here is mostly just mindless fluff with a hint of something more... Regardless, I hope you like it!

Ferid Bathory would become your university professor and he would immediately become an instant hit, but perhaps not necessarily for all the good reasons. Some are intrigued by him, others are charmed while the rest are just creeped out - he does and says the most random and craziest things anyone could ever think of, which really does beg the question of how he even got this job. You tried to get more details out of him but he is not budging so you give up, a smart decision really.

He would be intrigued by modern society and I can see him often debating online even if he has no idea what anyone is talking about. He doesn't really care if he wins his debates and petty arguments, he's just looking for ways to be entertained. The current politics are incredibly amusing to him and he wants to know it all. He adapts mostly well but since he has such an eccentric personality he still manages to look like a clown in public. Some people find that hot though, much to his delight and low key confusion. Humans are strange, he would think to himself.

As for the way he loves you, well, that's a complete ride of emotions. He says that it was "love at first sight" for him and be because of this he often bugs you of your whereabouts and with who you were with, and just to be extra™ he probably likes to leave random hickies all over you if he can grab you. He's acting like a proper lover ought to, yeah? They're supposed to be jealous, why are you getting so huffy with him?! Fine, he'll stop but not completely. All of your actions and reactions are very cute to him, there's nothing you could do that could turn him away from you. If someone were to ask what his favorite hobby was, he would probably say something like "I like to follow (y/n) around the city and annoy them!~"

He thrives off your attention, even if it's negative. Despite his constant teasing he understands that he's down bad for you once the two of you alone and how you treat him. He is annoying but you don't treat him like a pest and that's... sweet. Yes, that is very sweet of you. He's like child asking for candy, your words and touch start becoming something akin to a drug to him. He's curious to see what this new world has to offer but he's more curious to see whether or not you'd be willing to stick by his side no matter what.

Crowley Eusford feels a strange sense of nostalgia run through him as he walks around, especially if he comes by a church. He's often seen with a calm smile on his face and people are naturally attracted to him because of this. Small children probably want to play with him and chances are he will indulge their desires as he lets them use his big muscly arms like monkey bars. He laughs quietly to himself at the helplessness of these kids, they have no idea that he could tear them to shreds if he wanted to. In a split second this beautiful, sunny day could become grin if Crowley got a little bit too thirsty... But the warmth of your hand is more than enough to bring him back down to Earth.

He's not as needy as Ferid, but he does like to watch you. Again, he's not as obvious with it like that freak but he always notices even the most little things on you, always. He sees how sweet you are to the people around you, how hard you try to help him and the others and he appreciates that. He's a little angry with himself because sometimes he wonders how things would look like if he became a bit more greedy, just a little bit. He likes it when you hug him, he doesn't want to let you go.

It's almost like he's being brought back to life again.

Lest Karr and Krul Tepes are... interesting. Due to their tiny bodies they are either sent away to some sort of elementary school or are hiding away somewhere but for the sake of comedy let's just say they are forced to attend a regular public school and my oh my, does this cause some issues. Neither one of them wants to be put through this kind of humiliation but with one good, stern look from Urd they'll both keep their mouths shut. I imagine they break some furniture by complete accident because of how angry they get, maybe not even by accident now that I think about it. They'll play along after some time passes, hell, they will start competing with each other to see who can solve things faster! Cue them both running to you to see who was better but I imagine Lest would be a lot more vocal with his praises and complaints. Krul just sort of smugly says that such trivial and childish things are beneath her but you see the way she smiles whenever she bests Lest, it's impossible to hide.

As for their infatuation, this could be problematic. Lest doesn't seem to understand why you aren't attracted to him the same way he is to you. His mind has aged like fine wine but he is cursed to look like a young boy which causes him great distress. He probably binges a lot of romantic comedies in his free time but under the condition that he is alone. He doesn't necessarily enjoy them but he just wants to understand how human courting works.

Urd Geales is the first vampire out the bunch to get a real job and it'll probably be something really boring like an accountant. He'll get the title of employee of the month in the short span of 24 hours, everyone is in awe of his skills and intelligence. People pester him all the time and he may or may not help them out, it depends on the approach they have towards him and his own mood. He probably ends up buying a really nice apartment that is used like a base for the vampires.

I imagine he gets asked out a lot but he turns everyone down. "I already have someone in mind" is what he cooly says. It's you, you caught his eye the moment he saw you. He sees you as someone very intelligent and pointlessly kind. You're so weak and pathetic but he's into that. You're pathetic in a cute way. He probably keeps a picture of you on his desk and likes to steal glances at it from time to time. He is grateful for your assistance and wants to repay you in some way.

He also likes to stare but unlike Crowley, his stares feel a lot more cold. You think he hates you or just flat out wants to kill you right where you are standing which causes you to avoid him, much to his disappointment. He's a bit of a gentleman and he tries to spoil you with little gifts such as flowers and whatnot. You always turn him down though, always. You break his heart every time you do this.

Shinoa Hiragii is absolutely THRIVING. She became an internet sensation basically overnight and her main platform is TikTok. She posts the most random shit ever but it's so bizarre and scattered that it's hard to look away. She uses sex appeal and her cuteness to get away from the dumb stuff she does, probably has a ton of simps and white knights that defend her. She tries to include you in her activities but you're too scared to be seen by her pure monsters of so called fans.

❤️ TAGS: @ocielismyadoptedson

#isekai ons au #yandere #yancore #yanderecore #yandere owari no seraph #seraph of the end #lest karr x reader #lest karr #krul tepes #ferid bathory x reader #ferid bathory #crowley eusford #urd geales

[girlwithwolftatoo]

Ooooooh but how would marc and jake act during roleplay 👀👀👀😏

Oh ho ho... it's spicy time again.

Marc Spector:

*He has a good idea of how it works, not because he has experienced it but because, uh... p*rn. Anyways, if the oportunity arises, he'll take that wave and ride it until the last consequences. And you seem excited for that.

*Now let me introduce you to Dr (Y/LN), a cute outside, thug inside Egyptologist, and mister Spector, a harsh mercenary with a heart of gold and steel muscles (yeah, that's on the script, don't look at me). You're in the middle of a very important expedition to find an ancient artifact but due to evil headhunters you must hide in a hotel room and Spector, as your bodyguard, cannot leave you alone even for a minute, which leads to naughty situations.

*Marc feels so comfortable with his role you can't tell if he's just being himself but using your made-up names or there's a side of him you didn't know until now. He even speaks a little different, calling you "Doctor" or "Young lady" 'cause your character is a little sturborn and very much a cocktease.

*And ooooh how exquisite is to have Marc taking you out of the shower, all wet and kicking while calling him a "pretentious git", towering you on the bed and touching you so intense and so kinky you blush like a complete first-timer.

*Yeah, this is an imaginary scenario but, hey -Marc has the resources to make it true, and a second trip to Cairo that looks like a vacation will help to make it more real. Just think about your body being captured under Marc's in a linen sheet bed, Egyptian sunset light behind the curtains and the mixed sound of an electric fan and your moans while Marc fucks you deep and slow like only him knows.

Jake Lockley:

*He lives and breathes for role play. I made a fanfic which explores very little this topic, but let's get more into Jake's heated mind because he's the master of it.

*You just need to say a simple sentence to summarize your kinky fantasy and Jake does the rest. Of course he's more into the very, very naughty side. And once you begin to play, he's so in character he won't break under any circumstances.

*"Just one thing, bonita" he says "The safeword is basta" "Jake, we're not going to do..." "Trust me, you'll need it"

*He likes anything that involves his limo. A stray worker searching for a sexy client? A naive girl who needs a lift? Or, why not, an innocent passenger who gets kidnapped by their good-looking driver? Of course Jake makes sure you'll be completely safe during the first act, but yeah, the whole thing amuses him very much, perhaps too much.

*Either you remain in the limo for the fun or get into his place to be more comfortable, he proves to be a great actor. Most of the, uh, script, was actually planned by him and you just had to pick the things you were into and the ones who don't, so don't worry, he's very well prepared to give you a more than satisfactory evening.

*Plus: Jake speaks in Spanish more often than usual, which is actually a thing. If you speak Spanish too perhaps he'll change the safeword to another one to make it easier, but if you don't, he'll be more than happy to translate a few words to you while his dirty talk goes from zero to one hundred eighty in a few seconds.

#moon knight series #moon knight headcanon #moon boys #minus Steven cause he already had his moment #Marc Spector #Jake Lockley #Marc Spector x reader #Jake Lockley x reader #marc spector headcanon #jake lockley x reader #marvel series #oscar isaac

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Azusa Route ー Sub Scenario w/Subaru

–> In between the main route chapters, the player is taken to the area map of the Parade where you can freely roam around. There are four different places to visit, each with different mini games and sub scenarios to enjoy.

AREA: SMARAGO MOUNTAIN

CHARACTER: SUBARU

ー The scene starts by the lake

Yui: Wah, the wind feels so nice and the lake is beautiful as well. 

Azusa: I figured this place would be right up your alley...Do you like it...?

Yui: Yeah. Thanks for taking me here. 

Azusa: I’m glad you do...

Yui: ( I feel so peaceful when we’re together like this... )

Azusa: Ah, hey...Eve? Isn’t that...Subaru-san standing over there? 

Yui: Ah, you’re right. 

Azusa: Why don’t we go talk to him...?

Yui: Yeah, good idea.

ー They approach Subaru

Yui: ( He’s staring at the lake all by himself, I wonder what’s wrong? )

Azusa: ...Subaru-san.

Subaru: Oh, it’s you two.

Azusa: What were you up to over here...?

Subaru: ...Nothin’, really.

Yui: Did you perhaps come here because you like the view as well?

Subaru: ...Not really. I had nothin’ better to do, that’s all.

Azusa: You’ve got nothing to do...? Then...Why don’t you come with us to the amusement park later...? 

Subaru: Haah!? Why would I join you guys?

Azusa: I mean, it’s such a great opportunity and...don’t you think it’d be much more fun to go on the rides with a bunch of people? 

Yui: Yeah, I agree. 

Azusa: So after we’ve taken a small break here, why don’t you join us...? 

Subaru: ...I’m good.

Azusa: Why...? Do you dislike amusement park rides...? Are you scared of them, perhaps...?

Subaru: Haah? That’s not it.

Azusa: Then, let’s go...?

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: Didn’t you hear me when I said no? ...Oi, why are you grabbin’ my arm? Lemme go!

*Rustle rustle*

Azusa: But, you’d also be happy if Subaru-san decided to join us, right, Eve...?

Yui: S-Sure...

( But Subaru-kun really doesn’t seem thrilled about it... ) 

Azusa: You heard her, right? Subaru-san...

Subaru: For the millionth time, I’m not goin’!

If I were to tag along, I’d only be gettin’ in you guys’ way...So just continue to have fun amongst yourselves. 

Azusa: Don’t say that...

Subaru: What’s your problem!? Just leave me alone already! Stay away!!

ー Subaru runs away

Yui: ( Ah...! He made a run for it. )

Azusa: Ah...Subaru-san, wait...

Subaru: Like I said, leave me alone!!

Azusa: But...You’re heading straight toーー

Subaru: Shut up! ...Wait, uwaah!?

*SPLASH*

Yui: Subaru-kun! Are you okay!? 

Azusa: I tried to warn him...that he should watch out for the lake in front of him. 

But I was too late, it seems... 

Subaru: Maybe tell me a little sooner next time!

Yui: ( I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have heard in the heat of the moment... )

Subaru: Che...Looking back, I should have just taken Azusa up on his offer and gone with them...

ーー THE END ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #subaru sakamaki #azusa mukami #lunatic parade #diabolik lovers translation #dfazusasubsubaru

[hisredhysteria]

Locked In

Note: Just for fun—! I've been wanting to do something like this for Cutthroat because of the beginning manga panels, but thank you to my friend for involving Hacker in this—

TW: mention of murder and the reader in Hacker's scenario may come off a little yandereish in a sense

Summary: Scenarios to do with being locked up or in-? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT—

Cutthroat

Once detained, the other correctional guards didn't feel they had to so much as roll when coming to their conclusion. They could have flipped a coin, asked you to pick a number from 1 through 10—hell, why not have added your name to a roulette wheel for such a heinous decision? Every single one of them chose to back up the other though, all as they anxiously informed you that it would be your turn to pick up their cowardly slack. The criminal going under surveillance was dangerous, but in what world is a criminal entirely not? If watching the murderer really was the death sentence everyone made it out to be, then you were determined to survive just to prove them wrong.

You made your way through to the lowest level of a dismal prison, an entanglement of keys finally jingling as they clicked into alignment with the room door of his temporary holding cage. Relieving the previously stationed guard of their daunting duty, it was as if he had been on edge for all of the five minutes he'd been standing there. Concerned about the longevity felt from simply being in the same room as a death row patient, he did what anyone would have done by wasting no time rushing out of there. The criminal was your friend for the night, silently elated as he could feel your new presence—hear your differing footsteps. The only thing missing now was a face to match the sound of your pretty voice.

"I've heard a lot about you.."

The murderer didn't stir, but did you expect him to under the confines?

"Cutthroat, was it?"

Growing beneath the mask across his face was a smile at your question; surely this wasn't going to lack any of his own amusement.

"Hm...~? Is someone there..?" He cooed, starting with a hum that made you wonder about the relevance of his serious tone after.

Was he joking or was he trying to be serious?

"Is someone ever not..?" You sighed, clinking the cage cell back shut without you inside. Better safe than sorry, you stood from a bit of a distance to be sure.

"Never usually this close...~" He continued.

"This close? ... I'm not standing any closer than the last guy who was here." Interested to see you encourage a conversation, again something echoed beyond his covered face.

"Well, the other one didn't greet me... He was no fun because he didn't answer any questions either..." His reminder that you really weren't supposed to be entertaining him, you swallowed an antsy feeling in the pit of your throat.

"Whatever it was that you said, it must have scared him. He left in a hurry..." You answered quickly so it felt less against your own rules, taking mental note that from there on out it was best not to respond to him.

"I only asked to see his blood...it's pretty on everyone, isn't it...? I bet yours is pretty too..."

Shooting your eyes to examine the constraints that bound him, Cutthroat was eerily still for someone in his position—with the staggering strength he had too. Silence filled the air once more and usually the killer would have grown bored by now. You had chance of answering anything more by doing so previously, and because that was so, Cutthroat wasn't ready to leave you alone just yet.

"I hope you're the one to take me to the execution room ~" He subsequently tried.

Admitting fondness so soon for something as easy as a blunt greeting and reciprocation in conversation, his attempts unsettled you the longer he kept talking. In fact, it wouldn't have been such a fever dream if he wasn't also detained for the murder of nearly one thousand people. Shifting in the spot you stood however, a step forward from the cell didn't seem like such a bad idea as you took it.

Discouraged by the tap of your shoe distancing yourself from him, he'd still test you a final time.

"You'll be there to watch my blood spill with everyone else though, won't you? ...Of course you will, who would miss the chance to see someone die..? Hm~ It would be nice to watch someone else die one last time though..."

His ending comment sat with you. It killed not to provide an answer, so you surveyed your surroundings to find no one but the security camera's watching.

"....Are you asking to kill me..?" You fell into round two of his deadly game.

"Would you let me..!?"

You jumped for how foreign it sounded—for how muffled and excited the gasp was. It had to be a joke or another intrusive thought, you really did not have a death wish for tonight. All you needed to do was pass time, but...what was the harm in a little fun? A prideful tease at best—you propositioned Cutthroat.

"Do I get something in return....?"

"Huh...? Is dying not fun enough?"

How insane he must have been to think that it was, but more so to think you'd forfeit your life either way.

"Is that why you want to die?" You asked, turning around to glance through the gaps of the bars curiously. "Is dying fun to you..?"

His small laugh was rewarded for your kindness towards him.

"Of course~! I have yet to find out if dying is as good as killing... but I'll know soon enough.. Maybe you will too ♡ ~"

Hacker

Lying to his own advantage wasn't a deed Hacker took part in often, but when it came to being on the receivers end, something about it was just thrilling enough. From the tasteful and underhanded way you trapped him in this room, who was he to admit any disliking towards it? Arguing with you to open the door would have never worked, and just by glaring down at the cruel silver knob, Hacker knew it was tightly locked.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you..?" He asked, your greater plan slowly sinking through like he was as thin as wet paper. A personal hell awaited him—all from the moment he told you he was going to be leaving.

"I suppose I should have seen this one coming sooner or later...it's just that I never expected it to be you holding me back..." Hacker added, and where you thought one would have grown weary or more nearly now angered, the way he spoke instead sounded intrigued with every last drop. Your breaths deepened however, stuttering to hold back a cry. Hearing what would be your back slide down against the door, he eventually caught on that maybe you hadn't wanted to do this at all in the first place.

"If it made you this upset...you could have told me."

You let the tears threatening to spill finally touch skin. If the solution was all that simple, did he really think you wouldn't have tried? Telling him your true feelings may have been nice, but it would only make it that much easier for Hacker to slip between the lines. As long as he didn't expect your heart to get in the way of anything, he couldn't plot against what he was enduring now.

"...It's not that I didn't think of bringing you with. Leaving together wouldn't be so bad. I need something new though, something with a faster pace—and I don't expect you to be able to keep up. This is just the better option for both of us."

Your body continued to become further distraught as he spoke, and now perhaps you were the one that was angry.

Had he always thought you were slowing him down..?

"Then..." You whispered, rolling your head back so it was flat against the door. Hanging on the edge by your words, Hacker must have had no idea how bad this actually hurt. "I can't let you leave."

His eyes lit up. It was controlling, but the fact that you thought you were the one with the upper hand made him feel like your competitor.

"If I wanted to, I could turn this door to ash using my drones... It'll hurt more later if you continue to sit in that spot." He threatened, an empty one at its best. Was it one he could even fulfill?

"Try it..." You inhaled, stuffy from the rainy vision. "Burn me to cinders if you have to..." Testing him, you knew Hacker wasn't going to do it. There was little to no point in the test because of that, but it was to spark his interest instead.

Working as planned, his fingers strained themselves on the singular bubbled keypads. His drones aimed at the wall facing the outside street, Hacker tried them for himself. With no patience or hesitation, he pressed a key sure enough to elicit a reaction from both drones—for them to crumble the waiting wall beneath their wrath. When nothing happened though, his wide eyes suggested horror.

"What..? How..." Confused by the lack of response, maybe technology was always a little faulty. Slamming his finger on the key once again, your quiet laugh in success wasn't what he'd been ordering. Enough to have slowly broken him the longer things lasted, suddenly this wasn't going to be as fun as he initially planned.

"You told me you wanted something new. You've never been locked in a room for longer than a year, have you...?"

#akudama drive x reader #akudama drive scenarios #I'm sorry for being less active lately #I haven't been coming onto Tumblr as much for....a few reasons... #mainly because a few things happened on here that are slightly discouraging... #and just weird... #I love writing but I've been discouraged from continuing on here almost because of more than just one experience — #I was also busy writing my other essay but...I noticed even when I did have free time I'd avoid clicking on Tumblr #I've also gotta start picking one draft and working on it till its done I'm gonna try I promise

[llawlieta]

Poll: how do you guys think Light would react if Misa told him she's cheating on him. I think he'd want to laugh

#I saw someone recently suggest the possibility that he would CARE and it was very amusing to me #no one on Tumblr this isn't like some sort of vaguepost #Misa Amane #Light Yagami #Death Note #idk what this post is lmao sorry #lau.txt #I think he'd be like good for you. but what would he SAY to her #I have no idea why this scenario amuses me so much. leave me alone

[luvyanfei]

how they comfort you when you’re sad

ft. diluc, kaeya, venti, childe, zhongli, albedo, & xiao non-requested piece 

diluc ragnvindr. 

as stoic as diluc may be, he’s the most emotionally affected by your misery out of the others listed here, but he’s clueless in how to help. he’s not adept in everything despite being known for being a perfectionist and unfortunately, comforting you is one of them. he would reach out a hand to you, and then pull it back to his side before you notice. it annoys him greatly how he can insult the knights without hesitation and combat against his enemies confidently, and yet...

it’s easy to get diluc flustered over the simpler things in life. you’re usually so happy and lively, the light to his dark that he finds it almost eerie to see you looking depressed as you enter the tavern. you don’t even spare him a glance, and slumps down at an empty seat, your head splayed down on the table. out of concern for your wellbeing, the winery owner whips up your favourite drink free of charge and delivers it himself to your spot. instead of leaving you as one would expect, he pulls up a chair and taps the wooden surface of the table with his gloved fingers, stirring you to look up at him. he greets you in a monotone voice unintentionally, and shyly asks if there are any problems going on in your life. he may not look like it, with how distant he is, but diluc would be very pleased to help you. 

with hesitation, you take the drink and start taking small sips from the cup. the savory taste melts on your tongue and your lips quiver slightly. before you know it, you’re reduced into a sobbing mess, your tears staining the floor. “what’s wrong?” dismayed, diluc rises up and pats your back, handing you a handkerchief from his jacket pocket for you to wipe your tears away with. 

he ushers you into a private room where nobody can see you and rubs your hands together. he doesn’t talk, instead fixating on calming you down. dabbing at your swollen eyes and cheeks gently with a drenched towel, diluc cradles your face and leans in close to you, your foreheads touching. “i’m here, [name],” his voice is soft and delicate, a sharp contrast to his formal and uninterested tone, “i will always be here for you, so you don’t need to worry about suffering alone. we’ll get through this together, alright?” 

kaeya alberich. 

he’ll take you to the tavern with him for a nice drink. it won’t do you any good to be by yourself and moping, right? as hypocritical as it may seem, kaeya is fully accepting of you coming to him for emotional support despite being rather closed-off when it comes to his personal emotions. if you’re underage, he’ll purchase you a soft drink or juice, and if not, a glass of wine will surely boost your spirits up. his attempt to cheer you up is to temporarily distract you from it. quite clever of him, no? of course, his objective isn’t for you to ignore your problems altogether, but to take your mind off of it until you can think a bit clearly. 

kaeya will act like a gentleman the whole time, letting a few teasing remarks slip out every now and then, but his attitude is toned down for the most part. after you consumed a plentiful amount of beverages, he takes a stroll with you in the night, passing by a bard stringing music on their lyre. this gives the cavalry captain an idea and he takes you into a secluded area, fireflies glowing to add a touch of whimsy to the scenario. still gripping your hand, he raises it up to kiss the surface and proposes you to join him in for a dance under the moonlight and stars. 

kaeya looks at you with a brimming grin. “are you feeling better now?” you nod, placing a hand on his open palm.

“now that you’re here, yes, i am.” his smile broadens and cups your cheek with his free hand. the tip of his thumb lightly grazes your bottom lip before he replaces it with his lips. the kiss is passionate and savory, a description that fits your relationship perfectly. 

“i’m glad you do,” he pulls back and breathes out a sigh of relief. “it’s the same with me. i admit, i also enjoy your company very much.” 

venti.

it’s best to let your emotions run loose. don’t bottle it up, okay? if you need to cry, then cry. sure, venti may act all carefree and exuberant, but even he has his serious sides from time to time. he takes the situation rather calmly, pulling you into a comforting embrace and rubbing your back as you tearfully sob. when he feels that you’re muscles have slowly relaxed and your cries have been reduced to tiny sniffles, he transitions out of the hug and places his hands on your shoulder, all with an angelic smile on his face. see, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?

if you’re up for it, venti will be happy to play you a quiet melody carried in the night breeze. he’ll position your head to lean on his shoulder as both of you sit down on the ground and he clears his throat before he begins singing. the stringing of the lyre, the gentle rustle of the leaves in the background, and the soothing sound of his voice automatically brings a smile to your lips. snuggling closer to him, you drift in a state of contentment and serenity. once the bard catches wind of your heavy breathing, your eyes fluttered closed, he stops his singing and presses a dainty kiss to your forehead. 

carefully, so he doesn’t disturb your slumber, venti carries you back to your resident and tucks you into bed. as he’s about to head off, you snag him by the wrist, and tug him back to your side. “please don’t go yet, venti.” he pats the hand imprisoning his wrist and chuckles in amusement. 

“don’t worry. i don’t plan on ever doing something like that.” he crawls into bed with you, tangling your legs together and hooking his arms around your waist. the tip of his nose grazes your hair faintly as your back is pressed against his chest. “not now, and not ever.” 

childe.

he’s the eleventh harbinger, yes, but beneath his fearsome title and mischievous demeanor, childe is a regular human with an affable heart. it hurts him seeing you look dejected, as if you’re on the brink of suffocating from insufferable pain. it’s like your emotions are a type of infection, contagious to say the least. if you’re happy, then he’s happy. if you’re sad, then you’ll bet he’s also going to drop his jovial gleam. luckily, growing up with siblings gives him an advantage here. he’s used to taking care of others and turning their frowns upside down. 

if he finds out someone has been upsetting you, he’ll personally deal with them himself, ordering them to apologize lest they want to face his wrath. if you’re having financial difficulties, he’ll lend you a generous amount of mora so you can clear your debts or help you find a well-paying job. either way, he’ll cradle you in his arms and compliment you for being strong, no matter what life throws at you. life’s hard, but that’s all the more reason why you should keep marching forward - hand in hand with childe.   

“shh, [name], it’s okay. don’t cry.” childe kneels before you and wipes away a salty tear. grabbing a teddy bear abandoned on the ground, he shoves it in front of your face. to your sudden bewilderment, he grabs the bear’s arm to pat you on the head and grins. “there, there. mr. teddy is here to make you happy once more.” 

you sputter out a giggle despite tears still leaking from your eyes. “childe, i’m not a little kid anymore. cut it out!” he resists the urge to pinch your cheeks when you pout cutely at him. 

“fine, fine. i’ll stop, but hey! at least you’re smiling again, right?” you roll your eyes and sniff. 

“yeah, i’m feeling a little better. thank you.”  

your comment forms a blush to dust his cheeks and he sheepishly scratches the back of his head. “there’s no need for gratitude. to me, your smile is the one thing i’d hate to lose.” 

zhongli.

feeling sad? his arms are already wide open and a box of tissues is conveniently laid on the table. zhongli is the wave that laps up your sorrows and tears, the lulling sound of his voice uttering words of reassurance like a tranquil melody to set your heart at ease. he’s the type who will lend a shoulder for you to cry on. while he brews up a nice cup of tea to soothe your mind, he encourages you gently to tell him whatever it is that’s bothering you. he soaks up every syllable that falls from your lips like a sponge and in a pensive state, he gives you advice in turn. 

you take his words to heart, since everything he’s said before have always been genuine and your trust in him runs deeper than the bottom of the sea. sure, maybe not everything he says is the answer that will cause your problems disappear, but he does guide you to choose rationally how you want to approach it. as much as zhongli would like to solve everything for you, he’s aware that there are times where only you have the potential to fix the issue. 

the golden ginkgo leaves twirl in the autumn breeze, as zhongli clasps his hands with yours. you adjust the scarf around your neck, shivering from the mild chill settling in liyue. 

you stare grimly at the seagulls soaring in the cloudy sky, and peers down at your feet planted firmly on the ground. a frown tugs on your lips and you sigh. a warm hand caresses your cheek and you look towards zhongli smiling gently in your direction. wiping away the tears that are beginning to moist your eyes, he encages you in a comforting hug. 

“don’t hold it in,” zhongli whispers soothingly in your ear, “you’re allowed to cry if you want. i promise you, there’s no judgement.” 

albedo.

it’s like he has a sixth sense. you could have been crying in your sleep last night and the first thing you wake up to is all your favourite meals placed rigorously on a sliver tray and a positive message with cursive, neat handwriting scribbled on a notepad for you to read. albedo is rather considerate, like that. before you started to live together and entered a more domestic relationship, he visited your home and asked if anything was wrong in a neutral tone that belied his concern. you were shocked how he could have possibly known since you were sure you concealed the visible evidences skillfully with makeup, and you looked quite normal for the most part, as if you hadn’t been crying mere seconds before he knocked on your door. 

he shrugs indifferently and responds that he just has a feeling something’s bothering you. albedo will take a day off from his confinement in his lab so he can stay with you. he takes you by the hand and gestures for you to sit down on a nearby chair beside him, offering you delectable appetites to eat while you rant to him. once you’re finished spilling out your problems, he kisses you on the forehead and tells you that you did a good job. it isn’t easy to admit you’re not mentally well, in which he praises you for. 

hugging your legs to your chest, you quietly ask him if it’s not a bother. firmly, albedo shakes his head and squeezes your hand reassuringly. “no, you’re never a bother.” he scoops up a spoonful of ice cream and feeds you the cool dessert. once you swallow, his lips curve into a little smirk as he wipes away the excess on the side of your mouth with a finger and licks the cream off with his tongue. 

“whether you’re happy, sad, or disappointed, my love for you will never change.” 

xiao.

he’s not very good at handling these types of situations. xiao can never know what he’s supposed to say or do to make you feel better, so he just stands there awkwardly. please don’t blame him! he’s already terrible at consoling himself that having to cheer someone else up seems more like an impossible challenge than a simple task. however, like albedo, he can also sense if you’re depressed or in need of saving. what do you mortals call it, an instinct? 

he asks verr for advice on what to do to help, and she suggests for him to stick by your side and show that he cares deeply about you. it takes xiao a while to come up with a suitable plan. he wanders up to the highest floor of wangshu inn and reminisces over the past. your first meeting with him, the time when you gave him almond tofu, and when you both fought together to protect liyue - he’s memorized it all down to the last detail. suddenly, an idea clicks into place and he teleports immediately to where you are. sitting on a bench alone, while you absentmindedly watch the birds peck at the crumbs scattered on the cement floor, it takes you by surprise when you find xiao hovering above you. he reaches out his hand and composedly asks if you would be willing to accompany him for the night. 

when you encounter him at the location where you agreed to meet, you curiously question xiao what he wants to do, but he doesn’t reply. instead, he scoops you up in his arms, a surprised expression on your face as you wrap your arms around his neck so you don’t end up falling. before you know it, both of you are... soaring in the air? your eyes subconsciously drift to his vision glowing brightly in the murky night. so he’s using his anemo abilities to create wind currents and literally sweep you off your feet. 

“do you see this place?” he gestures with his head for you to look at liyue harbor. the city lights glow in the darkness and most people are walking back home, idly chatting with each other and giggling. “it wouldn’t be as peaceful as it is now if it weren’t for you. so if you ever feel sad again, know that it’s you who puts a smile on everyone’s faces - including mine.” 

and with that, xiao smiles serenely at you, to which you finally offer a grin of your own. 

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #xiao #albedo #albedo x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli #venti #venti x reader #childe x reader #childe #diluc #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya

[favoniuscodex]

undesired gift. [ diluc x reader ]

prompt: donna gives diluc a bottle of mysterious, alchemic liquid. much to everyone’s surprise, diluc tries some. unfortunately, it has some results neither diluc, donna, or you expected. diluc’s part of my love potion series! pairing: diluc x f!reader warnings: none? implied that the love potion evokes true feelings, but if such concepts make you uncomfortable, this is your warning! :) word count: ~1.5k words

a/n: this was originally just gonna be short scenarios but i got pretty wordy with ideas for everyone, so it’s been extended to a full series with independent parts for each character! ... i’ve written a lot of diluc in such a short time HAHA

“where’d you get that?” you ask, gesturing to the bottle that rests on the back countertop of angel’s share. you, one of diluc’s long-time bartenders and one of the few people he would actually consider a friend, had no recollection of ever seeing such a drink within the establishment. it appeared to be pink moscato, but the way the liquid glimmered in the light warned you otherwise.

“it was a gift from his favorite person,” kaeya joins in from his seat on the opposite side of the counter from you and diluc. you raise your eyebrows at him in confusion and amusement.

“you?” you ask kaeya and both kaeya and diluc let out a huff of air at your question. 

“not quite. donna.” kaeya corrects you and diluc looks mortified as laughter bursts out of you. you look at the drink once more and are sent into another fit of giggles, all while diluc glares at kaeya for telling you such a thing and kaeya only smirks smugly back at him.

“donna? why did she think sending you a drink from a competitor was a good romantic strategy?” you ask. diluc wants nothing more than to crawl into a hole and avoid this conversation, but he knows how you and kaeya work when you’re together: a duo created of chaos and destruction. after all, the three of you had grown up as childhood friends, with you being the reason kaeya and diluc even acknowledge the presence of the other anymore. 

“we are talking about the woman who likes to moan diluc’s name in the street like it’s a holy mantra,” kaeya shoots back and diluc can’t help but envy kaeya for how easily he makes you laugh, even if it is at diluc’s own expense.

“right, right,” you turn to diluc. “so, are you going to drink it? what if it’s poisoned?”

the genuine concern in your voice, combined with the way your tone becomes gentler when speaking directly to diluc has his stomach erupting into butterflies. meanwhile, kaeya pops diluc’s little bubble of infatuation with his next comment.

“maybe it has laxatives in it so diluc stops looking constipated all the time,” kaeya interjects. the corners of your lips twitch and diluc only sighs in response, choosing to ignore his estranged brother’s comment.

“i... doubt it’s poisoned. out of all of us, donna likely irritates me the most, but i doubt she would try to kill me with a drink,” diluc says to you, doing his best to ignore kaeya, who takes a drink from the glass of wine he had been carefully nursing for the last half hour.

“well, there is one way we can find out. you should try some!” your tone sounds like you’re just trying to be a supportive friend, but diluc knows you far too well to fall for it. despite this, the redhead has never been able to say no to you, which is something you are well aware of.

“fine,” diluc says and before you or kaeya can stop him, he uncorks the bottle and takes a swig, leaving you and kaeya to gape at him, wide-eyed. you half expect the redhead to fall over as if the alcohol wounded him, but he just winces at the aftertaste. after recovering, diluc just stares at you, bewildered by your bewilderment.

“h... how was it?” you finally ask. diluc glances down at the bottle in his hand.

“i would never sell nor supply anyone with this, even if i was paid extra to do so.” diluc responds and he feels the tips of his ears warm at the way you give a light laugh in response.

the night continues as normal, with kaeya eventually getting booted out at closing time with all other patrons. this leaves you and diluc alone, who seems to be in a strangely good mood, but you fail to say anything in fear of disrupting the soft smile that seems to be a permanent fixture on his face for the night. such happy nature on his behalf hadn’t started until he took a drink from donna’s gift, but you were fairly certain from the smell that it was non-alcoholic. plus, even diluc wasn’t that much of a lightweight, right?

instead... was he happy with the gift? did he like the attention donna gave him? he had never gave an indicator as to such a thing beforehand, but he had willingly consumed her gift under the smallest provocation from you. did he desire to court her? the sickening feeling of jealousy begins to gnaw at your stomach and you quickly attempt to ignore it, in the same way you had done your best to ignore your blossoming feelings for diluc over the last few months. the two of you were friends and that’s all you ever would be. you had no right to get jealous over a romantic gesture when you weren’t even brave enough to make one yourself.

but archons, you can never stop yourself from speaking, can you?

“what’s got you in a good mood?” you ask as you wipe down the counter while diluc wipes down the tables. cleanup duty was often one of the few times diluc engaged in small talk, but you couldn’t help but to curse yourself for breaking the comfortable silence that lingered between the two of you. diluc looks nonplussed by the interruption and looks up from his towel to smile at you.

it’s wide and his teeth are bright and it contorts his face in the most beautiful of ways, but it’s so uncharacteristic that you’re thrown for a loop, heat rising to your face. in all the years since his father’s death, you had never seen diluc smile in such a way.

what was in that drink? you ask yourself, but before you can think too much about it, diluc’s voice is interrupting your racing thoughts.

“i get to spend this time with you.” his words are honest and true, but they only result in the widening of your eyes. bewilderment consumes you whole as he sets his cleaning supplies down on the table. who is this and what did they do to my diluc?

“what’s with that face? do you not believe me?” diluc asks, walking over to you and slipping behind the bar, standing only a few feet away.

i must have passed out, you determine. there’s no way in hell-

“why wouldn’t i be happy when i get to spend time with the person i’m in love with?” diluc’s words are spoken simply, innocence interwoven into every word. you stiffen in response to them, staring at diluc blankly as your mind struggles to catch up with the sudden turn of events.

“w... what?” you breathe, absolutely terrified by the fact that mr. grumpy pants, the one whom you had fallen in love with, was suddenly knocking down every single one of his walls to tell you that he loves you. he loves you, the one who pesters him every time the two of you are on shift together. the one who would pester him when you were kids, insisting that the two of you should play knights together if he really wanted to become one. the one who stood before him now, tired and stuck in a disheveled bartender uniform. 

diluc closes the distance between the two of you and stands before you, lifting his hand to cup your cheek gently. the pad of his thumb sweeps back and forth on your cheek and you hate yourself for leaning into his touch. this isn’t him. there’s no way. she did something to that drink. the redhead deciphers your hesitation with ease and smirks at you.

“do you want me to prove it?” diluc challenges as his ruby eyes flicker downward to glance at your lips. 

shimmering pink liquid. where had you seen it before? you wrack your brain as diluc leans in and you immediately pull away as you retrieve your answer, leaving him to frown at your rejection.

“this isn’t...” you begin, stumbling over your words as you feel your head spin. archons, diluc got so close that you smelled his cologne. “what you drank earlier. it’s from the souvenir shop, it’s a love p-”

“love potion,” diluc interrupts, finishing your words for you. “i know. i read the bottom of the bottle beforehand. i did not necessarily expect it to work, but i figured that, at the worst, it would motivate me to confess my feelings to you.”

“oh.” you respond, voice hollow. “oh.”

he... knew?

“now that such misconceptions have been cleared, i suppose i should clarify my question as well.” diluc looks at you with an intensity you had never seen from him before. it sends a thrill through your body as his arms pin you between him and the countertop. “i would like to kiss you. may i?”

you nod. 

you swear you taste the love potion on his lips.

#diluc favoritism alert but thats a given for this blog #diluc x reader #genshin impact x reader #ill make a masterlist for this series later lol #diluc #genshin impact

[animeyanderelover]

How about Kurapika with a darling who gets scared easily? Like she doesn't like loud noises and flinches at yelling? Thank you!

I hate the fact that the feared exam time is coming to taunt me once again😰.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, overprotective behavior, manipulation, isolation, mentions of kidnapping

Darling gets scared easily

⛓That just calls for his overprotective side being triggered daily and I guarantee you already that it is anything but funny at all. Kurapika is straightforwardly just way too overbearing and acts like the newest mother hen. It is way too painful, unbearable actually, to leave his darling alone at all, don’t even start with the point of letting her alone under people. He’s under normal circumstances already so very iffy when he lets you under people, experiencing how his s/o flinches at every noise and hides behind his back, hands clutching his arm tightly, marks the limit for his nerves.

⛓So he starts isolating his s/o, a simple and effective method of helping her to avoid any scenarios where she can get frightened. Believe him when he tells you that it’s best for your heart and best for his nerves as well. It’s not amusing whenever he turns his ire against anyone who startled you badly, feeling his eyes starting to turn red and slaring them a intense look, sharper than daggers. Kurapika won’t cause a scene though, he doesn’t want to draw too much attention and your safety and comfort is top priority, letting his anger getting the best of him would only scare you more. He never wants you to be afraid of him so instead he resorts to guiding you quickly out of the situation. He remembers faces though.

⛓As cheap and terrible as it sounds, Kurapika uses the fear of his darling to manipulate her into staying more at home and spending more time with him. Kurapika isn’t a necessarily social person himself so he enjoys quality time and peaceful moments he can spend alone with his darling. He gets visibly distraught in situations where his s/o insists on going outside and he objects strongly to the point where he might scare her just as much before he notices and puts up a more collected stance. In general he just glues himself to your side and avoids things he knows for sure are bound to scare you. It’s impossible to avoid everything though and so he can only deal that long to see you suffer before he finds a way to drag you back.

⛓He has declared himself to be your protector so witnessing that he can’t do as he wants to do leaves a pressure on his heart just as much. Your nature just drives him crazy and sometimes he lays awake at night and overthinks what he would do if you would stumble into a truly mortifying situation. That’s why he idealizes the idea of a isolated cottage so much, a place where no humans are around and you won’t have to be as much frightened. He’s suggested it to his darling a couple of times as well, he’s literally trying to coax her into agreeing. Doesn’t it just sounds wonderful? A pretty, little house in a lonely and gorgeous landscape where only the two of you are?

⛓Kurapika’s emotions are more of a wildcard from time to time as well which means he has his scary and intense moments. He tries really so hard to never let you suffer under his emotions and feelings, you’re his sweet darling that he wants to cherish and protect. Cracking and letting some of his steam off in a way that has you stepping back still happens when his self-control slips and he loathes himself whenever he realizes that the fear in your eyes is directed at him.

⛓Smothers his s/o a lot, in toxic ways and less toxic ways. By putting away as much of her fears as he can, he just ends up keeping her away from society and he somewhat forced his comfort on her. Kurapika means well, he just feels like he has to play the protector and guy you run to for comfort all the time and if we’re being honest, he wants to be that person for you. It can just lead to you developing a not so healthy dependence, whether Kurapika would feel bad about it is up to discussion, though he’d feel happy that you trust him that much. If darling can’t be convinced to move in with him, he’ll end up drugging her so he can take her away. Worst is still that he never sees it as wrong, it’s as good as necessary in his eyes so that you can finally live in an environment where your jittery nerves won’t be strained and you have to be taunted by the ruckus of people.

#yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere kurapika #yandere kurapika kurta

[littlesniggy]

"Shambles!"

Anon: Hey niggy! Nice to see you're opened again. can I have a "stuck in a wall" NSFW scenario with law? the reader could be getting into some antics with his crew, get caught and while mid trying to get away, gets room and shambled. the rest of the crew gets their bodies chopped and attached to each other but law's punishment to reader is a lot different. he splits them in half, but puts their other half somewhere on the ship in a wall while their lower part is being fucked in his room. maybe he's able to hear how loud they're getting at his "punishment" which motivates him to manhandle them harder. afterwards he shambled their top body to his room and asks if they've learned their lesson with a smug tone. hope this isn't too weird for you or anything! thank you!

Hey Anon! Thank you so much for requesting this. I had so much fun writing it and I could've gone on fo much longer but I didn't want to make it too long. Also, I hope you dont mind me deciding reader is female since it's easier for me to write such a scenario from a female point of view. Mixed the end up a little so hope you dont mind that either....sorry! I hope you enjoy it! Have fun!

Warnings: 18+, nsfw, slight spanking, kind of public sex I guess?, shameless smut

Pairing: Law x female reader

Word count: 3.2k

You thought it was a good idea to try and highjack the Heart Pirate’s submarine when they were off the boat near an island. I mean, it was a submarine after all, how cool was that?! Let alone the conveniences and the opportunity it offered; sneak attacks and fast getaways were just two of the things you could think about. Ever since you’ve first seen their submarine near a remote island you were kind of obsessed with it. It had crossed your mind to build one on your own but the prospect of getting one without having to put a lot of effort into it (compared to the long time it would take to actually build one) you decided to take it the next chance you’d get.

Well, turned out you had no idea how to operate it. You faintly remembered one or two of your crew mates arguing against taking the submarine, bringing up exactly the point that none of you had any idea how to handle this thing but somehow you ignored their reasonable concerns. Now, that you thought about it you should’ve taken them more seriously…

“Damn it!” you cussed, kicking against the machine with the hundreds of buttons blinking, frustrated by your failed plan. “Y’know, kicking won’t do a thing…” you heard a slightly raspy voice behind you. You spun around your sword already pulled out of the sheath, steady in your hand, trying to look threatening. Law looked at you amused, casually leaning against the doorframe while he watched you.

You didn’t answer him, your lips pressed into a thin line, a hostile look in your bright eyes. “I was wondering when you’d try and steal my submarine….it took you quite some time.” Law commented. Took you some time? How did he know?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” you instead played dumb. Law chuckled, slowly pushing off the doorframe and strolling towards you.

“No? Then what about six weeks ago? Or four weeks ago? Or last week? Did you really think I wouldn’t see you following us? And you never came closer to attack so you either wanted to steal the ship our…” he paused for a moment, the cocky grin on his face growing wider. “…you have a crush on one of us.” You felt your face heat up at the accusation. “A-are you insane? Of course I wanted you stupid ship!” you yelled out, trying to look as appalled as possible by his second assumption.

“I see.” Law simply hummed. The part about you having a crush on one of his men just crossed his mind; he wanted to see your reaction, already having determined that neither you nor your crew were any threat to him so why not toy a little with you?

“Well then, are you gonna leave my ship voluntarily?” he asked, cocking his head to the side, his sword rhythmically tapping the wooden floor beneath his feet. From outside you could hear the faint sound swords clashing against swords, yelling and screaming voices joining in.

“I wouldn’t be a pirate if I gave up the thing that I want without a fight.” You grinned, spinning your sword at him in an attempt to strike the captain. Law dodged your attack with a smooth motion, raising his hand at the same time. “Room!” he said. You didn’t know what was going on but you didn’t care. Your arm was moving on its own, aiming for Law’s head.

“Shumbles!” and then, you didn’t know what was going on. You knew you were still running but why weren’t you moving? Your arm brandished with the sword in your hand, missing Law by just mere inches. Why weren’t you getting any closer? Your eyes looked down but you couldn’t believe what you saw – or didn’t see.

“W-what’s going on?” your voice was a panicked screech as you looked around for any blood. But there was none. It didn’t even hurt. Out of the corners of your eyes you saw your lower body wander aimlessly around the room, trying to find you.

“What did you do?” you yelled at him, eyes wide in panic. Law’s smirk stirred the feeling of rage and helplessness inside your body even more, your arm desperately trying to reach but failing miserably. Law effortlessly bashed the sword out of your hand, the metal falling to the ground loudly. “Be happy I didn’t kill you.” The captain hummed. Before you could respond he snipped his fingers and suddenly, you were outside.

The cold breeze of the wind had you shiver slightly but that was soon forgotten when you realized two things. First, you were stock to something, something hard that wouldn’t let you leave. And second, your “crew” looked like fantasy creatures out of a kid’s story; there were people who consisted of only legs with feet, one pair glued to the other, some consisted of two upper body parts, their hands trying to get themselves off. Some had hands instead of feet and vice versa. You seemed to be the only one who was stuck to another object though.

“What the-? What’s going on?” you mumbled, not understanding the situation you and your crew were in. “Captain! Help us!” you heard your crew whine, the ones who had heads looking at you desperately.

“I…I can’t!” you said helplessly, your hands pushing at the surface you were stuck to. It was a wall. Why were you stuck to a wall? And why was your crew so….fucked up? And then it dawned on you. Law.

You felt your lower body wander around but you had no idea where it was? It was walking into walls constantly, bruises probably already forming on your skin. This bastard. You cursed, somehow trying to direct your lower body half towards where you were but it seemed to be to no avail.

You felt yourself stumble over something (a foot?) and fall onto something soft. Confused, you looked around but of course you couldn’t see anything. Then, something or someone was touching you, big and warm hands slowly moving up your bare leg before disappearing underneath your skirt.

“H-hey! Stop that!” you yelled, shaking your fist at the hand that was touching you. But it didn’t stop. The contrary was the case. A second hand joined the first one and you felt them almost expertly knead your butt. You gasped, face heating up at the touch out of embarrassment. What was going on? Another gasp escaped your lips when you felt someone sit down on your calves, giving you no chance to maybe wiggle away.

The hands squeezed your cheeks, pressing them together or pulling them apart before slowly but delicately pulling down your panties, revealing your bare ass.

“No…!” you panted, too flustered to actually yell. You didn’t know what to do, this situation was completely new to you and you didn’t like how this feeling of not knowing what was going on excited you to some degree.

You bit your lower lip when the hands caressed your flesh, nails scratching over your skin, probably leaving red bruises. Goosebumps started covering your body, you felt how the exciting feeling slowly but steadily grew, your pussy, to your shame, turning wet.

A surprised gasp, louder than before, broke past your lips when you felt a smack on your butt, then one more. Then, the warm hand caressed the hurting spot as if to apologize before it slapped you again, this time harder.

Your legs twitched but the weight was to heavy, you couldn’t rob away to escape from those sinful hands. Another slap, this time on your other cheek. “Stop!” you breathed, letting your head fall down, your eyes halfway closed. The hands spread your cheeks apart once more, cool air hitting some part of your wet folds and exposing your asshole in the process as well. This was so humiliating.

The weight on your legs shifted, the person apparently getting off of you and for a split second you hoped that it was over but your wishes were rudely shattered when those hands pulled down your panties completely, your skirt all ruffled up, exposing your bottom completely. Your legs tried to get off the bed but these two hands grabbed the back of your knees and pulled your legs apart. The person joined you on the soft surface again because you felt the fabric (probably a mattress) give in slightly and the person took a seat between your spread legs.

You struggled again, your upper body trying to get off the wall while your lower body tried to kick the person somehow but it was fruitless, the grip too strong. The hands moved up your legs to your thighs, wandering underneath them before effortlessly lifting you lower body up, pulling it even closer before pressing it against the other person’s body.

You stopped dead In your tracks with the struggling when you felt thick denim press against your wet core and a large bulge slowly rutting against you. The fabric created friction against your wet core, making you press your hands in front of your mouth to suppress a moan that threatened to slip out. What was going on?

One hand moved from your thigh to the small of your back right above your ass, pressing your body down even harder, the tip of the bulge covered by the jeans trying to enter you but it was impossible due to the restrains. It made you feel hot nonetheless; the slight rutting against your pussy while the hand pressed you down.

Your legs tried to close themselves but the body was in the way so you were stuck with quivering legs and the sweet, sweet feeling that spread further and further through your whole body.

The hand that had remained on your thigh until now moved as well. First, it caressed your butt once more, then it slowly moved around you and you knew where it was headed. “God, please don’t!” you whined but the other person couldn’t hear your pleas. You bit the back of your hand harshly when you felt the hand find your clit and slowly circle it in order to suppress the lustful moan.

“Captain….are you okay?” you heard the voice of one of your crew members. You forced yourself to lift your head to look at the man, hoping you didn’t give away too much. “E-everything’s okay….don’t worry. Someone is just….messing with me.” You pressed out but the concerned look on his face didn’t vanish. “I wish I could help you captain.” He said but since he was stuck to another crew mate’s upper body he couldn’t move. “I-I’ts okay.” You said before biting the back of your hand again, your other hand trying to claw at the wall you were stuck to.

Now, the whole hand was cupping your dripping pussy, rubbing against the sensitive folds and clit, almost driving you crazy. You felt your hips buck against the touch and you were ashamed of such primitive actions but you couldn’t stop yourself. It felt too good.

Law looked down at your lower body half, the one he had followed into his bedroom. It had only taken him one quick move of his foot to have you stumble onto his bed and the rest was history. He felt your juice covering his palm, the flat pressing against your sex, feeling how more and more of your juice ran out. At first, it was weird to only have a lower body but he soon came to appreciate how much power he had over you. It was so easy to manhandle you this, completely defenseless and at his mercy.

His cock was pressing painfully against his pants, wanting to get out and take a dip into your dripping hot core. He felt how wet you were and he knew you wouldn’t need any more preparation than this, you pussy was just too willing, almost begging him to fill you up with his dick.

He kept palming your sex with his one hand while his other hand simultaneously opened his pants and pulling them down a bit. His cock sprung free and Law sighed at the freedom in relief. It slightly bobbed up and down, lightly slapping your butt cheek in the process. He felt your jerk at the feeling, more juice coming out, already dripping off his fingertips. He positioned himself between your cheeks and started rubbing his dicks between them his wet palm now resting on your hip, holding you in place. He watched his dick slide over the small of your back, leaving a slight and warm trail of pre-cum on your skin.

The moment you felt it hit your cheek you knew what it was and your pussy twitched in excitement. Then, his dick was rubbing against you, the delicious feeling on your core sadly disappearing at the same time. The cock made you shudder lustfully, the shaft brushing against your anus from time to time.

Your head was hanging low again, your eyes now fully closed, your mouth agape and your breathing ragged. This was so wrong but it felt so good. Your hands braced themselves against the wall when you felt him move and position his dick at your entrance, the warm head teasing your folds and your clit, driving your crazy.

You took in a deep breath and waited for the thrust but it didn’t come. Confused, your hips wiggled a little rubbing against the mushroom head in the process. You let out the breath you were holding slowly when suddenly his hips snapped forward, his whole length buried inside your cunt and a loud, uncontrolled moan was ripped from your body.

All eyes were on you but you couldn’t see them, stars were blurring your vision at the intense feeling.

Law had heard your loud moan and the grin on his face grew even wider, his breath coming out in short pants at the feeling of your tight pussy. Damn, this felt good. He looked down at your quivering form, your hips already starting to move as good as possible, wanting him to move along. The captain grabbed your hips with both hands before he started moving in and out in long and languid moves as if not to exert himself too much. This, however, didn’t mean that he was sloppy; Law, being a doctor, knew exactly where to hit you to get the desired reaction out of your willing body.

And, oh boy did he not get disappointed. With each thrust you felt him hit your sweet spot, forcing out mewls and moans and pants and groans every time he hit it. It felt so good, your nails were scratching over the surface of the wall, your head was moving from one side to the other and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“Fuck!” you hissed, sweat starting to cover your body, dripping down onto the deck. You wanted to rip your top off your body but had so much sense left in your head not to do it and expose yourself even more to your crew who were staring at you wide eyed, not knowing what was going on. If you were lucky they thought you were in pain…

You felt how he picked up his pace slowly while also changing the angle a little. He pressed you further down into the mattress by the small of your back while simultaneously lifting up your ass even more. You could feel that he was now leaning on top of you, your knees the only thing supporting your weight on the mattress. His hand found your hip again before he started thrusting into you with all his force, moving your hips against him, his nails digging into your flesh.

It felt so weird to be fucked with such force and your upper body not moving at all, the pleasure everything you could feel, while your lower half was fucked raw. You couldn’t hold back the loud moans, your head was thrown back, exposing your lustful face to your and Law’s entire crew. But you didn’t care. Your mouth was open and your tongue was hanging out like a dog’s. You wanted more…What if one of your men would catch on and fuck your mouth as well? What if they all got up and stand in line to use you like a cum dump while you made two cum with your hands…? God, you shouldn’t be having these thoughts at all but the dick inside your pussy was fucking you stupid.

“H-harder!” you heard yourself pant, feeling how you slowly reached your climax.

Law felt how you started to clench around him more and more and he knew you were close. His dick was twitching inside of you as well, indicating his orgasm not taking too long to hit either. He looked at your lower body and didn’t want it to end like this. He pulled out, flipped you over in one smooth go before he pressed his cock inside of you again, pounding into you like a madman. He heard your moan and it fueled his orgasm even more. He lifted his hand again and with one go your upper body was where it belonged, your lustful face for his eyes now alone. Fuck. He thought.

You opened yours to look up at a sweaty face looking back, a cocky smirk mocking your current state. You didn’t care. Law kept pounding into you, now your body was moving wildly over the bed, your breasts moving in tandem. Law’s hand reached up to your top, pulling it up together with your bra, revealing your tits to his eyes, your perky nipples hard from pleasure.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer while moaning to his thrusts. So close. You were so close and you wanted to cum so desperately, incoherent mumbles mixing in with your moans, begging him not to stop. The Hear Pirate’s captain savored your messy form, taking in every twitch of your face, every small or loud moan you made.

His hand reached down and with one hard pinch to your clit pushed you over the edge, making you scream while you came around his cock. Your pussy clenched hard around him, bringing you to his orgasm after three more thrusts, emptying himself inside of you with a low grunt, his eyes closed and mouth slightly agape.

Breathlessly, your body went limp, legs sore and exhausted. Your eyes were closed, the after-wave of your orgasm still clouding your mind. You felt how low slowly pulled out, his body lying down on top of yours, his hot, breathy pants brushed against your ear. You didn’t say a word, just listened to his rapid heartbeat.

You felt his lips brush against the shell of your ear, liking the feeling of it. “Don’t ever dare trying to take my ship again, understood?” he whispered, his hands squeezing your hips to empathize his words. You bit your bottom lip, not responding to his threat.

Law got up from you and got off the bed, pulling up his pants and closing them. You opened your eyes and saw him taking in your spent form shamelessly, making your face heat up and finally close your legs.

“Have fun trying to explain this to your crew mates.”

#one piece #op #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #trafalgar d law #law x reader #female reader #law x female reader #trafalgar law x reader #op x reader #ns.fw #heart pirates #x reader #x you #x female reader #sm.ut #op x you #one piece imagine #law imagine #trafalgar law imagine #request #scenario #op scenario

[mono-dot-jpeg]

slobbermouths - c!sbi

summary; you, wilbur, and techno were left to deal with the two younger kids of the family, thanks to phil and your father, sam.

genre; fluff, modern family au!, child! tommy, child! tubbo, older sibling! reader

pairing; platonic! tommy x reader x platonic! tubbo, platonic/romantic! wilbur x reader x platonic/romantic! technoblade

word count; 921

[lowercase intended] [gender neutral reader]

a/n; have i ever mentioned how much i love the sbi as family? /j

anyways, the wilbur x reader x techno can be interpreted as romantic or platonic as reader is only related to tubbo in this

age for tommy and tubbo is about 3-4 in this

this may just be the first taste of me doing modern family! sbi, so if i like writing this, there may be more of it.

you loved tommy and tubbo, don’t get it twisted. but the kids were in their very messy phase of life. the annoying messy toddler phase. and unfortunately, you and your two family friends were stuck with them.

“tommy, that hurts!” wilbur whined as tommy was chewing on wilbur’s fingers. “i will literally cry if you keep biting me tommy.” you started to laugh at the tommy’s antics before moving to pick up the blonde.

“okay, that’s enough, tommy. come on, big guy.” tommy babbled your name in response as he latched onto you immediately.

“how do you handle the kids so well?” techno asked as he was sitting on the couch, watching the whole scenario go down. “i can barely handle tommy. let alone him and tubbo.” the mere mention of the other child’s name makes said child start to babble various words as well. while they weren’t completely coherent sentences, it seemed like enough to grab your attention.

“it’s not that bad. tommy and tubbo are sweet kids to me. i’m not really sure how other kids would be like with me.” the two kids cling tight to you, tommy with his arms around your neck and tubbo latched onto your leg. the kids could definitely tell that you were talking about them. they gave you that clueless child stare as you smiled sweetly. “yes, we’re talking about you, you little brats.” you spoke to them as you sit next to techno on the couch, the two younger kids following to sit on your lap.

“y/n can’t fit both of you on their lap, c’mere tubbo.” techno gently carried tubbo onto his lap. tubbo babbled in reply, it was almost out of anger if not for how warm the pink haired male was. techno was always a softie whether he liked to admit it or not. it warmed your heart seeing how much tubbo loved to be with techno. “you get your sibling 24/7, tubbo, it’s only fair that i get them to myself too. you’re still spending time with them too.”

“getting me to yourself? what’s that supposed to me, mr. techno?” you raised an eyebrow at him as the male quickly coughed and wilbur started to change the topic.

“anyways, isn’t almost lunchtime for tommy and tubbo?” wilbur asked. you checked the time. the mentioned kids whined, dramatically wriggling their bodies out of yours and techno’s arms. you quickly readjust tommy on your lap as he huffed at the idea of stopping playtime. 

“well, they can still have a bit more play time, it’s not time yet, i guess i would have to start making lunch though.” you said as tommy squirmed in your arms, not wanting you to leave him. “don’t worry tommy, you’re gonna get your favorite snacks for lunch today! you too tubbo!” you patted the top of tubbo’s head, earning a happy loud tubbo.

tommy seemed persuaded by the idea of his favorite snack, soon getting off your lap to tug on your hand to get up. “i better get started before tommy starts to bite hands again.” you joked. unbeknownst to you, techno was not very pleased with having you leave his side, but he keeps his slight jealously to himself. “wilby, come help me.”

“why do i have to help?” wilbur groaned a bit as you started to drag him to the kitchen with tommy in tow.

“you said it was lunchtime. not me. plus you think you’re not gonna do anything even when your dad and mine are gone?” wilbur lazily leaned against you, resting his head on your shoulder. “come on, lazy butt. i’ll get tommy to bite you again if you don’t help me.” you can feel tommy right next to your leg as he starts to tug on wilbur’s pants. “he already seems angry at you, wilby.” you laughed.

tommy and tubbo happily eat at their lunch, being sure to thank you though they have their mouths stuffed with food as they try to talk. “yes, yes, you’re welcome. don’t talk with your mouth full.” you laughed, wiping any food from their mouth. 

eventually they finished and they had to go take a nap. despite all the whining the two kids did, they were quick to fall asleep. you laid on techno’s bed with the kids as they clung onto you like they usually would. “can you please help me?” you whispered to techno.

“i’m not gonna risk waking up the little gremlins just to get you out.” techno muttered, making you huff. “suffer.”

“you’re so mean, techno...” you dragged out his name as his lips quirk up slightly, very amused by you. “i’m gonna take a nap. don’t wake me up until dad and phil come home.” techno hummed softly as a reply. 

“we’re home!” phil and sam entered the home, curious as to why there was barely much noise. “it’s too quiet...” sam nodded in agreement as they walk around the house, searching for the kids. 

“sam! come look!” phil whispered, pointing at techno’s room as he opened the door quietly. sam comes over and sees a very much adorable sight. the three teens laying on the bed curled up with each other while the two younger kids played on the floor quietly. “damn, i thought your kid was totally gonna cuddle with techno more.”

“the heck! no way they would cuddle with techno more! it would ruin my ship with y/n and wilbur.” sam muttered as the other father took a picture of the trio.

#sbi family dynamic #sbi x reader #wilbur dream smp #c!wilbur #wilbur soot x reader #technoblade x reader #techno mcyt #c!techno #mcyt technoblade #dream smp x reader #dream smp fanfiction #dream smp #dream smp tommy #tommyinit mcyt #tubbo mcyt #tubbo x reader #dream smp tubbo #mcyt tubbo #tommy x reader

[faulty-writes]

I want, no NEED more of that sweet, sweet Monoma vs. Iida love triangle goodness! Headcanons, a scenario, something to satisfy this unexpected craving!!

Let's see what I can do about this. I was going to write headcanons but I guess my brain couldn't comprehend how to do that so I guess you could call this...a little classroom scenario. I'm not sure but enjoy it nonetheless.

It came as little surprise that Tenya and Neito felt something towards you, but you never imagined it turning into a battle to win your affection. But then again, while Yuuei mainly focused on hero training. There were situations where students were put in competitive positions.

Of course, these moments could also take place outside the designated training areas. "What's the matter dear class A? Oh, don't tell me you're threatened by a possible blooming friendship between myself and the lovely Y/n?" Neito stated as he proceeded to lay his hand on the small of your back and took it upon himself to cradle your hand in his free one.

A rather embarrassing position, especially knowing that your classmates were glaring at the display. But somehow Neito's taunting always seemed to strike every last one of your classmate's nerves and considering that the blond did it on purpose, their reactions were understandable. But even so, the president of class A, Tenya Iida while disliking this taunting as much as the rest of his fellow classmates was at least formal about expressing it.

Though you were almost surprised by his slightly defensive nature and how his shoulders squared when he approached Neito. "Pardon, but I do not believe you are in the correct classroom," he stated just before he tilted his head and adjusted his glasses by pushing them back to their proper position on the bridge of his nose.

You were a little impressed at how composed Tenya was even when it was obvious he wasn't the happiest at the moment. When he lifted his head back up and looked into Neito's eyes, it only seemed to bring a smirk to the blond's face. "Oh?" he replied, seemingly not taking Tenya's words seriously.

"Please release Y/n and be on your way," Tenya stated as he reached over and placed his hand on your shoulder. You could tell there was an urgency associated with his touch and through the way his fingers seemed to curl and tremble slightly. As if holding your shoulder was the only thing he could do to prevent himself from growing violent or punching Neito.

You decided to remain quiet, despite your rapid heartbeat and heated cheeks. Anyone in your position would react the same way. Essentially having three hands on you while frustrated tension filled the air. But you wondered if somehow Tenya felt threatened by Neito or the fact that Neito was taking your attention and time away.

The thick tension continued to grow into something more awkward, but that could be due to the silence that accompanied it. You didn't dare move, but you did glance between the two boys. Each one locked into some type of staring contest with the other and your fellow classmates seemed just as confused as you were as to what would happen next.

"Heh," Neito seemed to break the silence first and finally released you. However, in doing so he seemed to push you away from him a little too carelessly which caused you to stumble back. Despite relief filling you for a brief moment before you found yourself crashing into someone else.

"Ah!" you couldn't help but exclaim in surprise. However, such a feeling quickly faded when you realized it was only Tenya. Unlike Neito, Tenya seemed to carry a sweeter scent to him. Somewhat like lavender and though it was relaxing, you couldn't help but feel that same heat rush back to your cheeks.

Seemed any close contact you made with either of the boys resulted in this reaction. "Do not release them in such a manner! They could have been harmed due to your careless action!" Tenya scolded as he proceeded to chop his hand through the air. But once more, Neito seemed unphased and a soft laugh escaped him.

"Oh? Perhaps you're merely jealous that dear Y/n seemed to fall submissive to my touch," he shot back and you heard a struggled noise come from Tenya. Although it was almost amusing to see his dropped jaw and overall horrified expression.

"I...d-do not speak in such a manner! I do not hold any vulgar intentions when it comes to the matter of Y/n!" Tenya exclaimed and whether it was his intention or not. You felt his grip tighten on you, pulling you even closer. The fabric of Yuuei's signature gray blazer pressed against your cheek and that lavender aroma grew stronger.

"Oh, my apologies," Neito began as he pressed his hand against his chest. "I didn't think the members of class A could sink any lower when it comes to the matter of courageous acts," he stated. Implying nothing more than that Tenya was simply too afraid to act on his hormones which yet again seemed to throw the otherwise mature student off.

"I..." Tenya was usually never at a loss for words but it seemed somehow, Neito could actually best him. Yet again another smirk appeared on the blond's face and he took a step forward. "Hey, why don't you beat it and leave the prez alone!?" Kyoka spoke in Tenya's defense which seemed to prompt Kaminari and Eijiro to speak as well.

"Yeah, what's your problem man!?" Kaminari exclaimed before Eijiro spoke. "Seriously man, you have some issues. Leave Iida and Y/n alone!" his words came out with a slight growl which was somewhat surprising given Eijiro's carefree nature. "Now, now," Neito stated as he raised his hands up, almost acting innocent.

"Is class A really threatening a member of class B? How terrifying," his words were coated in sarcasm. You blinked, wanting to speak up but also not able to take your eyes off Neito who approached you with his hand stretched out. "Hm?" for a moment you looked surprised, but it appeared as though Neito wanted you to take the offered hand.

Tenya didn't seem so sure it was a good idea but he didn't fight when you stepped away from him. "I think dear Y/n is the only one of you I can actually stand," Neito stated when you finally laid your hand in his. He then leaned over and brought your hand up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your knuckles which yet again seemed to upset Tenya.

But the fact Kaminari and Eijiro held him back went unnoticed by you. Though you did catch the way Neito's eyes glanced over your shoulder and how a satisfied expression sparkled in them. Then he lowered your hand and turned to walk away. "Goodbye class A," he said, once more using a mocking sort of tone before he looked at Tenya.

"Oh, and goodbye to you too...Iida," he said with a chuckle before finally exiting the room. You stood there slightly confused before your body was pulled back causing a gasp to escape involuntarily. This was followed by a grunt as you found yourself yet again pressed up against Tenya.

The only difference was this time he was grasping the wrist of the hand that Neito kissed. "Huh?" you blinked and tilted your head to look up at him. "...Iida?" your voice was soft before you watched him look down at you.

"Y/n," he stated, "May I escort you to the restroom?" he questioned and you could feel the way he slid his thumb along the pulsing veins of your wrist. "Huh?" you replied as you titled your own head in confusion. "What do you mean?" obviously you were confused by his request.

Especially because you didn't ask for him to escort you anywhere, let alone the bathroom. "I do believe it's best you wash your hand due to Monoma's contact with it," he replied and you couldn't help but look at Tenya with a now annoyed expression. However, his own expression didn't change.

Still, maybe the reason he wanted you to wash your hand was simply that he was jealous Neito had kissed it in the first place. You took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. "If it makes you feel better Iida...you can walk me there," you replied, though you couldn't help but fear this small rivalry of affection would interfere with your everyday school life.

#tenya x reader #neito x reader #iida x reader #monoma x reader

[sugaxjpg]

ghosts just wanna have fun; m

⤷  When Jungkook discovered that he could communicate with dead people, the last thing he expected was that they would be there to give him romantic advice.

✓ Couple: Jungkook x Reader | Psychic!AU & MedSchool!AU

✓ Filed under: fluff, crack (so many ghost puns), light smut (and jungkook being a nervous virgin) 

✓ Words: 20,062

Author’s Note: In which Jungkook is able to see spirits, but it’s just Taehyung and Yoongi giving him dating tips because he sucks at talking to girls. Hope you guys like it, because it has been on my WIPS for over a year and a half and I can’t believe it’s finally out there... emotional, really.

Also, huge thanks to @storytaeme​, who proof-read this mess like a champ. 

 There aren’t many embarrassing situations that can overcome the fact that Jeon Jungkook found out about his psychic abilities as he was about to lose his virginity. 

To say the least, that hadn’t been the most pleasant of scenarios to open the pathway to the afterlife. Really, there was no casual way that he could justify the scream that broke from his lips, or the dramatic spin he took as he turned around on the bed — which, ultimately, had him falling into the small space between the nightstand and the wall, with his legs up in the air, and his butthole fully exposed for both planes of existence to see. 

Still, that hadn’t been the worst part. If those two pallid silhouettes had merely disappeared once he had seen them, it wouldn’t have been as traumatic — perhaps Jungkook could have found a semi-believable excuse about what he had witnessed — but no. Not only did the ghosts remain there, with their arms crossed before their achromatic clothes and eyebrows slightly raised in expectation, they continued their conversation as if nothing had happened. 

“Oh, he was definitely going to put it in the wrong hole,” the shorter of the two murmured, clearly entertained at the idea. 

The other scoffed. “What if he did?” he threw back. “Maybe he likes that, we can’t judge.”

Truth was that, one way or another, Jungkook couldn’t even figure out what he liked — he didn’t even get the chance. He was gone from his (ex) girlfriend’s place before his brain could even attempt to construct a plausible explanation, even less to digest what had preceded that unfortunate revelation. Now, the wrong hole would forever be a source of trauma for him. 

And the problems didn’t exactly stop there. Ever since his cherry-popping session was interrupted, Jungkook hadn’t been able to move further than the first base, thinking that he would embarrass himself all over again or, worse, be frightened by a random demon passing by. Also, the constant mockery of his ghostly counterparts certainly didn’t help his concentration. 

The worst part? Helping Jungkook was kind of their whole point. And they couldn’t even do that right. 

Taehyung and Yoongi were their names — they told him right after the first night he saw them. Jungkook didn’t know what had happened in the afterlife that they had been punished with such a horrendous mission and, frankly, at that point, he was too afraid to ask. 

“But I don’t need your help,” Jungkook had said after one particularly bad date, dramatically throwing himself onto his bed. The furniture creaked under his weight and he wondered if it would snap before his mind did. “I just want you to leave me alone or, I don’t know, help me with something else — something useful.”

The two ghosts were by his desk, looking at his class notes and, at that comment, Yoongi raised his eyebrows. “Useful? Like what?” He asked. 

“I don’t know, solving crimes or something,” Jungkook mumbled, turning around so he would face the wall. God, he just needed two seconds alone. 

Behind him, Taehyung laughed. “You don’t even know how to open a bra, and you're out there thinking of reopening cold cases? Give me a break.” 

“Ouch,” Jungkook whispered. Maybe another time, it would’ve hurt his pride a bit more. That night, however, he was too tired to care. “For your information, I do know how to open a bra. You two just started whispering and it distracted me.” 

“We were whispering to you the instructions on how to open a bra,” Yoongi responded. “Would you need those if you knew what you were doing? No.” 

Jungkook sighed. “I just—”

“This conversation is done, we went over this already.” Yoongi interrupted. “You need us, whether you want it or not. You’re painfully bad at romance, Jungkook, even worse at initiating sex. I’ve never seen something like that before.” 

At that, Jungkook rolled on the bed and faced them. There was only one light in his bedroom that was on — the table lamp — and its clear orange shade passed through them both in an odd mixture of contours and lines. “Maybe if I could do it myself, without you two buzzing around the place, it wouldn’t be so bad,” he responded, aggressive. 

“Calm down. You were already bad enough when we arrived,” Taehyung told him, leaning over to see all the scattered pages on his desk. He frowned once he saw something he couldn’t quite understand, and quickly turned away from it. “Nothing changed much.” 

“Right!” Jungkook sat up on the bed. “Isn’t that enough of a sign for you two to stop trying to help me, then?” 

“No,” Yoongi said calmly. “That’s a sign that we have to try harder. And so do you.” 

He sneered. “I absolutely don’t.” 

“Yes, you absolutely do,” he said. “You know what? Grab your phone and get yourself a date with that girl you like from physiology class. Two weeks from now.” 

There was a second of silence as Jungkook’s mind struggled to piece the idea together. He wasn’t even sure about who Yoongi was referring to, there were a lot of girls in his class. “What? Why?” 

“Just trust us. She’s into you,” Yoongi spoke. 

Taehyung nodded in agreement. “It’ll work out.” 

Jungkook scoffed. “When does it, really?” 

“This time, it will,” Taehyung said. “Really. Do it.” 

“Fine.” He breathed out, reaching for his phone. “What girl?” 

Yoongi looked him up and down. “You know what girl.” 

With a deep breath, Jungkook scrolled over his contact list, struggling to find someone that he would have even the slightest chance with. Truth was, he has no fucking clue of which one of the hundred and fifty people in his class would even look in his direction, much less go on a date with him. 

“You do know… right?” Taehyung asked, clearly worried. “We can’t really give you names, but you… know, right?” 

“What? Oh, yeah, yeah! Sure I do!” Jungkook laughed nervously, clicking on a random name and opening a chat. “Here, I’m sending her a text right now. No reason to worry… no reason at all.” 

“Good,” Yoongi said, distracted. “Now, if you need us, we’ll be watching Gone Girl with your neighbors. We already missed the start of the movie, and I’m pissed off as it is.”

Taehyung nodded. “Amazing movie,” he said. Jungkook pressed send and prayed for the best. “We should have more movie nights over here.” 

 Yoongi said something in agreement and, in a second, they were already gone. Jungkook was left alone in his bedroom, with the light of his lamp casting over his features the desperation that he was feeling inside. 

“This better work,” he mumbled to himself. “You two better not be trying to embarass me.”

_____________

And then, two weeks later, Yoongi and Taehyung were laughing at him as his last failed attempt at romance got up from her chair and basically ran away from him.

Yoongi leaned back against the chair, his ankles crossed over the large table. If someone else could see him then, he surely would have received a few complaints about keeping the mall under semi-sanitary conditions. “Jungkook, I’ll tell you something,” he started, clearly amused. “You’re so bad at romance that I wish I was alive just so I could punch some reason into you.”

Taehyung, who had stayed mostly quiet during the painfully awkward interaction, walked beside Jungkook and chuckled at his distress. Still, he was focused on the other ghost, and the implication of his speech. “That amount of violence is the exact reason why you’re no longer alive, Yoongi,” he pointed out, then turned to Jungkook before he could smirk at the reprehension. “But really, that was awful. If I weren’t spiritually tied to you, I would’ve given up by now. You’re hopeless.”

“Completely out of it,” Yoongi added. “Do you even know how women work?” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes, and reached for his phone: there was no way he would enter a discussion with those invisible pricks in a public situation without something to mask it. Not that it would have been the first time.  

Yoongi materialized on the seat next to Jungkook, his head leaning against his hand. The boy was already used to those sudden changes of position, but that didn’t mean that he liked it. In fact, after Taehyung had appeared next to him during a particularly bad time — in which the incognito tab had already been opened, and a bottle of lotion already waited for him — he could never erase the intense panic of such experiences. 

But of course, Yoongi knew that, and he used his discomfort for his own entertainment. “You can’t ignore us, kiddo,” he said slowly, clearly amused. “And you can’t ignore the fact that you’ll die alone, surrounded by cats, if you don’t start listening to what we have to say. We have been tied to you for a reason.”

“And the reason,” Taehyung added, “is to make you stop cockblocking yourself.” 

With a subdued groan, Jungkook pressed his phone against his ear — an old trick that allowed for him to have a conversation without being seen as clinically insane by passersby. “You two are the reason why this date went downhill,” he told them. “You told me to say all the wrong things. You two set this up knowing I’d fail.” 

“Oh, no.” Taehyung shook his head in disagreement. “The words were right. Your delivery was awful.” 

“Western-movie-awful,” Yoongi added. “And if you want to change that, you have to trust us.” 

“Trust you? Where has that taken me?” Jungkook questioned, irritated. “You’re the reason why I lost my first girlfriend and haven’t had another one ever since.” 

Yoongi chuckled. “The girl from the first night? She never talked to you again after that, did she?” He asked, but, of course, he already knew the answer. “Damn, that was cringe-worthy. Butt in the air and everything.”

“No need to remind me, I was there.” Jungkook clenched his jaw, trying to control his demeanor. It wasn’t fair that there was not much that he could do to make the two men shut up — since they were, quite literally, already dead, he didn’t have many threats to utter. “And whose fault was that?” 

“Technically, yours.” Taehyung shrugged. “We didn’t present ourselves to you, you just saw us all of a sudden. We were just as surprised.”

“Besides, you were the one that had the B.F.,” Yoongi added. 

Jungkook raised one eyebrow. “B.F.?”

“Bitch fit,” Taehyung elucidated. “He watched White Chicks with your neighbors last night, don’t worry about it.” 

Jungkook groaned, pressing his hand against his face. Of course — the cherry on top would be outdated pop references, as expected. Yoongi had always been quite fond of the classic ‘with great power comes great responsibility’, and Jungkook thought that the overuse of that quote would be the ultmost reason for his insanity. Nevertheless, he came to understand that it was nothing compared to movies like White Chicks or even Legally Blonde. He would rather hear Uncle Ben’s famous line a billion times over before Yoongi accused him of having a B.F. once more. 

He took a deep breath and tried to focus on the environment around him. The murmurs and disembodied conversations around the mall had morphed into the sound of irritating insects, and he felt as if the earth could just open up and eat him alive. He probably committed a terrible crime in a past life to be stuck with Tweedledee and Tweedledum like that. 

“Anyways,” Jungkook stressed, “it didn’t seem like the two of you were surprised that I could see you. You just kept… talking about me. And my ass.”

Taehyung chuckled. “You were the one with the ass up in the air.” He vanished, then materialized in the seat in front of Jungkook. “What were we supposed to do? Ignore it?” 

“It was an easy target,” Yoongi spoke, then seemed to realize the words that had left his mouth. “Wait, I didn’t mean the double interpretation.” 

“Why can’t the two of you just fucking help me for once?” Jungkook asked aggressively. In a nearby table, one old man raised his eyes from his vegan burger and stared the boy up and down in disapproval. Jungkook lowered his voice and switched his phone to the other ear. “This is unbearable. You two are only making it worse.” 

With a gesture that Jungkook knew all too well, Taehyung used his thumb to point over his shoulder, towards the path that his failed date had followed. “That one wasn’t good enough for you,” he said nonchalantly. “We can tell. We know stuff.” 

“Then why did you set this up in the first place?” He asked, exasperated. 

“As DJ Khaled says, you played yourself,” Yoongi cited. One more reference and Jungkook would be the one joining the world of the dead. “It’s not our fault that you get nervous and can’t deliver the lines right. When have the two of us ever failed?”

“When you died,” he spoke back. “Or did you forget the stupid mistake you made?”

Yoongi hesitated. As much as he tried to play it cool, he wasn’t the smartest one around. In fact, his tragically premature death was all the evidence Jungkook needed to make his point clear. 

During his living days, Yoongi was pretty invested in rock climbing. On a beautiful summer afternoon, just as the sun was setting over the green-bathed hills, one of his friends dared him to bungee jump from the same cliff they had just climbed, and were standing on. Of course, the man agreed promptly, saying that he wouldn’t back out from such a mundane task; stating repeatedly that the fall wouldn’t be so high up anyway. But that wasn’t the turning point: Min Yoongi, in all his adventurousness, quickly decided that his local shop was too expensive and that he would create his own bungee jump cord instead. 

According to him, making the cord proved itself to be quite an easy task. He had gotten some help from his local adrenaline addicts and the final product was a very good copy of the factory-made ones. He measured the cliff twice just to be certain, compared it to the rope, and made sure to test the sustentation and elasticity as many times as he could. 

Still, Yoongi had overlooked an imperative detail: he shouldn’t use a cord that was the same height as the cliff he was jumping from. 

Needless to say, he only realized his mistake once he was already dead. 

Yoongi scoffed at the memory, ignoring his hurt pride. He swore he could still feel his back hurting when he thought about that. “That isn’t the point,” he said. He often did that: changed the subject once he realized he couldn’t leave with the upper hand. “The point is that you keep delivering lines like you’re a bad boy in a South American novela, then expect us to perform a miracle on you.” 

Jungkook frowned, lowering his head. “That’s actually so wrong.” 

But the problem was: Yoongi was right, and Jungkook knew it. In fact, that had been the exact reason why his date had left him that night — the boy had misunderstood Taehyung’s advice to play off as a mysterious man, and instead projected his image somewhere between a psychopath and a person that had only K-dramas as a basis of how human interactions were supposed to work. Jungkook missed his attempts at romance the entire time, but the breaking point was when Yoongi told him to act as a bad influence because, according to him, girls dig a good bad boy. 

Once again, Yoongi wasn’t the brightest mind when it came to risk-taking. That was why he was more dead than Jungkook’s bedroom. 

Jungkook, however, did not realize his own errors until it was too late. He had chuckled at his date’s embarrassment, using his opening to delicately place her hair behind her ear. “I’m going to tell you something,” he started, voice swift and placid as a river. With his eyebrows raised and his lips vaguely forming a pout, he looked like an off-brand version of Handsome Squidward. “I’m not really a good influence, and surely not the kind of guy you’d like to get with. So why don’t you do me a favor and follow the simple orders I give you, uh?”

Her eyes had widened in a mixture of second-hand embarrassment and fear. From the corner of his eyes, Jungkook saw her reaching for her purse over the table. “No, thank you,” she was quick to say. “I don’t think this will work, sorry. I’ll see you around college.” 

And that’s how they ended at that point. The point they always seemed to end up in. 

“I think I need a break from all of this,” Jungkook said, closing his eyes for a moment of peace. “I have a huge test next week and I couldn’t even study for it because of all the preparation for this stupid date. Can you two just take a step back? Just for a little while. Romance can’t be all that I think about.”

As he opened his eyes, he saw Taehyung staring at him. He couldn’t really read his expression. 

And, without an answer, the two of them vanished. 

_________________

If someone asked Jungkook why the hell he thought going to medical school was a good idea, he’d simply say that, at the time, it made sense. After all, he had thought, he’d be some sort of super-doctor, since he had an exclusive VIP pass to the afterlife — just imagine how many people he would be able to help just by asking a friendly ghost what was wrong with a patient. It would be a game-changer. He could even find the cure of cancer if he tried hard enough. 

But of course, he quickly realized that he should’ve thought further about his decision. Maybe being a detective would have made much more sense — it would have been a lot cheaper, that’s for sure, and he wouldn’t have to sit through almost twelve hours of classes every single day for a diploma that seemed to be too far away for him to care. 

That particular class, however, wasn’t the worst one out there. 

It was Tuesday, and Tuesday meant Pathology. Jungkook loved that class because the professor hated teaching it, so the students had to sit in silence for about three hours trying to read the textbook by themselves. The professor said he would be there to answer any questions, but he was mostly scrolling through his phone and interrupting students every time they tried to ask him something — “That’s in the textbook, just keep reading.”  

Most of his classmates absolutely despised that subject, but Jungkook thought it was wonderful: he often learned better by himself anyways, and the lack of conversation during class brought him some sense of peace. Besides, Yoongi and Taehyung hated sitting in that quiet room for too long, so they mostly left after ten or twenty minutes of trying — and failing — to strike up a conversation with Jungkook. It was the perfect day.

Well, most days it was. 

Just as he was about to move forward to the next topic — Adrenal Insufficiency and Addison’s Disease — , the boy felt something poking his bicep and he was quick to turn to his side. Instantly, he recognized your expectant gaze and something fluttered inside his stomach. 

“Hey, Jungkook,” you whispered, leaning over your desk, “is tomorrow afternoon still up? I really need help in cardiac physiology. I kind of suck.”

He hummed in agreement, fighting against the nervousness that crept up on him. Jungkook’s palms started to sweat just by looking at you, he really was one step away from reverting back to his pre-teen days. “For sure. I’ll be at yours at five,” he managed to get out. 

“Thank you so much,” you said, then moved back against your seat. “I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled. If it had been anyone else, Jungkook would’ve had a stroke by then — after all, he wasn’t always invited to a girl’s place so easily. That’s someone that I have absolutely no chance with, he thought. So friendzoning himself made everything much easier. “Are you sure you don’t want to meet up at the library?” 

“I can’t really concentrate there,” you answered. “But if you prefer, we could go.” 

“No, no.” He shook his head. “Your place is fine.” 

You smiled again, and Jungkook thought that maybe being shot wouldn’t hurt so much. “Thanks. See you at five.” 

Jungkook nodded and turned around, facing his laptop. Just as he was about to restart typing his notes, he saw a known reflection at the corner of his computer. Oh, God, have mercy.

Yoongi’s reflection smirked from the back row. “Oh, man, she’s so into you.”

 Jungkook shook his head in denial, eyes still glued to the PDF file in front of him. If anything, his classmates would have just guessed he was finding that subject more difficult than usual and, quite frankly, no one could judge him. 

“No?” Yoongi raised one eyebrow, reappearing by his side with his hand supporting his cheek. Jungkook didn’t even need to look at him to know that he was just looooving the discomfort that grew inside his limbs. “I know those things, kiddo. It’s my job.”

From the front seat, Taehyung hummed in agreement. He had his arm placed over the chair, and seemed to find that entire situation a bit boring — maybe because he had seen it countless times before. “She definitely wants to get some of that,” he said. “We are proud of you, son.” 

With a subdued sigh, Jungkook scribbled some aggressive words at the corner of his notebook, and showed it to the man by his side. “Look at this, Taehyung, he’s trying to convince us that they’re just friends,” Yoongi mocked, crossing his arms. “That’s cute. Just because you’re that oblivious, it doesn’t mean that we are.”

“Jungkook, we’ve been watching the two of you talk the entire semester,” Taehyung added. “Besides, Yoongi made me follow her around once. She’s definitely into you. In unholy ways.”

Yoongi nodded once again. “She wants to be your boo.”

“Was that a fucking ghost pun?” Taehyung’s nose cringed up in disgust, and Jungkook had to fight back the reflex of laughing at his reaction. “Awful.”

“At least I’m not the one who ghostwrote Jungkook’s ethics essay.” Yoongi threw back. “Yeah, and that was another pun. You’ve got no spirit.” 

“You know what? Now I know why Jungkook can’t stand us anymore.” Taehyung smirked and, then and there, Jungkook knew exactly what was coming. “He can see right through us.”

The other ghost nodded. “Yeah, we’ve reached a dead end.” 

Jungkook groaned in exasperation, hiding his face behind his hands. “This is torture.”

Next to him, you chuckled. “Come on, pathology isn’t even that bad. You’re good at this.” 

“I know, I’m just tired.” He turned around to look at you, uttering the same excuse he had been using this entire semester. Not that it was an uncommon one, especially in the fifth circle of hell that was medical school. “I think I need to splash some cold water on my face. Wake myself up.”

You hesitated, staring at him as he stood up.  Jungkook looked strangely pale, like he was about to throw up all over the classroom. “Is everything okay?”

Fantastic! My bachelor ghosts are just making me have a nervous breakdown. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” He said, almost stumbling over your chair. Some of your pens fell down, but Jungkook couldn’t even bring himself to get them. He’d probably just knock everything else over in the process, and he wasn’t even sure that he could stand back up after. “Shit— Sorry. I’ll be right back.”

Behind him, Yoongi chuckled. “Spook-tacular skills, as always.”

_____________

The sound of running water was all that entered Jungkook’s mind for a moment, his face feeling the coldness of the liquid as he splashed himself once, twice, trying to clear his thoughts. In the end, it was mostly in vain: his class was ruined, his notes were left unfinished, and he couldn’t get a second of tranquility anymore — not even in Pathology. If he weren’t canonized after his death, he would file a complaint for sure. 

Abruptly, he closed off the faucet and the water stopped running. There was a heavenly instant of quietness, in which Jungkook followed the crystalline droplets falling from his hair to the sink, before Yoongi’s voice echoed behind him. “How you doin’, champ?” 

Jungkook sighed and raised his head, looking at his ghost counterpart through the dirty mirror. “Is the bathroom empty?” he asked calmly. 

“Hm? Yeah,” Yoongi said. “The ghost is clear.”

Just like that, his serenity was gone. “Yoongi, can you fucking stop? Your puns stopped being funny after the third attempt,” Jungkook asked, exasperated. He pulled some paper towels, and got even angrier at the way they fell apart in his hands. Good to know his college money was being used wisely. “Jesus. Where is Taehyung?”

“You know he hates toilet paper,” Yoongi told him. “Reminds him of his death.”

Jungkook considered the compelling idea of banging his head against the bathroom wall until he, himself, was part of the world of the dead. As he recalled very well, Taehyung had been a victim of Final-Destination-levels of misfortune: just because he had forgotten to take toilet paper to his camping trip, the boy had been forced to use nearby leaves. Those, as he would soon come to understand, caused an awful allergy on his lower lands, and the punctual bleeding was a sufficient opening for opportunistic diseases. The culprit? Some super strange bacteria that floated around the river. He was dead less than twenty hours after he came back home from septic shock.  

Taehyung had endured, quite frankly, one shitty death. And, yes, Yoongi had made that joke a few too many times before. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jungkook realized. “What did I tell you two about chit-chatting with me in large public places? Especially my classes? I have to pay attention. And I have a test in two days, I need to be all here, and not thinking about other people.” 

Yoongi giggled — almost childishly so — at the other’s anguished attitude. His teeth, a pallid shade of white, could barely be seen against the olive-green tiles that covered the bathroom walls. “You weren’t paying attention to the processes of intestinal inflammation, that’s for sure,” he teased, forcing himself to hold back his jokes a bit. 

“I wasn’t even studying that chapter,” Jungkook mumbled. 

Even Yoongi, who had a dense personality for such a diaphanous soul, could tell that the student was not in the mood for mockery. “Man, why are you so stuck-up? Taehyung and I are ghosts, but you’re the one with the dead sense of humor.”

Jungkook realized he needed a moment to think before he started yelling at nothing in a public bathroom. He really hoped the other stalls were empty, but he couldn’t be bothered to check. 

“This isn’t about the puns. You two just don’t respect my privacy,” Jungkook said. This time, he was able to pull some good paper towels and proceeded to dry his face. “This has been going on for too long. Why don’t you two just vanish for some time?”

“Wish I could, kiddo, but I’ve got hours to clock,” Yoongi finally admitted. From the mirror, he could see the frown of confusion that was cast over Jungkook’s features. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m only following rules. Talk to the big guy upstairs if you want to complain.”

He threw the paper on the trash and shook his head in confusion. “I just don’t see the point of any of this.” 

“You don’t have to.” Yoongi took a step closer. He often looked so unbothered — the two of them, actually — that Jungkook caught himself wondering which certainties they held, notions that would most likely be given after death. “Just do what we tell you to do.”

“That has only embarrassed me so far,” he said, turning around. “I don’t think I have it in me to trust in you two one more time. It has gotten me nowhere. Or, rather, nowhere good.”  

Yoongi sighed. “Alright, let’s do it like this, then: You go and help Y/N with her cardio whatever stuff, and Taehyung and I just watch. We promise to shut up, unless you’re doing something seriously embarrassing. Other than that, absolute silence.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes. “You promise you two won’t tell me what to say?”

“Promise.” Yoongi nodded. He looked very sincere. “We won’t talk to you.” 

“I can live with that, yeah,” Jungkook agreed, leaning against the bathroom sink. “Sounds good.”

“Perfect.” He smiled. “Trust me, Jungkook. I only made one mistake in my life.”

Jungkook smirked. “And it killed you.”

“Not the point.” He raised one finger, clearly annoyed, then pointed it at Jungkook. “You’ll do great. It’s not like you’re gonna tell her about us or something.” 

He laughed. “Yeah, that’d be awful.” 

________________

But that was, ultimately, what he did.

To be fair, it was never Jungkook’s intention. He was completely sure that it would ruin not only his friendship with you, as it would also ruin his reputation, both as a student and as a future physician. Come on, how would he even explain that? How could he tell anyone that he not only saw two obnoxious ghosts, but that they were there to give him romantic (and sometimes sexual) advice? That’s insanity. 

Spoiler: he didn’t explain it very well. 

In the cosmic perspective, however, it was kind of Yoongi’s fault too. He had the problem of giving away too much sometimes, especially when he was alone and free from Taehyung’s scrutiny. And it was that extra bit of information that catalyzed the explosion that would become Jungkook’s confession. 

For some reason or another, Taehyung hadn’t joined the two of them that day, as Jungkook crossed the campus towards your place. For the first time in a long time, their conversation — which was, again, masked by Jungkook pretending to be on the phone — was actually quite pleasant. Yoongi had told him a bit more about his life back in the day and explained that he was studying to become a lawyer when he died. 

“I was thinking of dropping out anyways,” he said. “I just picked a random thing to study because I didn’t know what I wanted to do. And, well, I kind of did drop off. Just not from the course.” 

Jungkook could not help but laugh at the absurdness of it all. Sad coincidences aside, it was unusual for Yoongi to make jokes about his death. Taehyung was much more open about it, but Yoongi seemed to be very bitter because of the way and the time he passed. But of course, who was Jungkook to judge? 

“You know,” Yoongi started after a moment of quietude. “Taehyung and I were pretty surprised that day at the mall.”

Jungkook frowned. “Hm? Why is that?” 

The other man chuckled. “Honestly? Because you’re dumber than we thought.”

Seems like pleasant times didn’t last much between the two of them. “We’ve established that I can’t talk to girls, Yoongi, I know.” Jungkook really wanted to change the subject. 

“No, not that,” he denied. “Let’s go back a little. Remember what we told you in your bedroom that night? To get the physiology girl.”

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah, what about it?”

Yoongi laughed, amazed that Jungkook still didn’t get it. “You called the wrong one, idiot,” he explained. 

“What?” Jungkook paused in his tracks and, in a mindless reflex, forgot he was supposed to be talking on the phone, and looked directly at Yoongi, lowering the device away from his ear. “There is a right one?” 

“Hey, pay attention to your surroundings.” Yoongi pointed at a couple that also stopped, confused at the man’s actions. Jungkook cleared his throat, trying to regain some composure after that minor instant of public humiliation, and placed the phone back against his ear. “Let’s keep walking.”

With his heart beating insanely fast against his chest, Jungkook did as he was told. His mind was flooded with fragmented thoughts, working around words that seemed so simple, yet held so much.

“Yes, there is a right one — and you’re going towards her right now.” Yoongi responded, placing his ghostly hands inside his ghostly pockets. Jungkook never noticed that he still used the clothes that he had on when he died, but Yoongi wouldn’t be the first one to mention. “So don’t make a fool out of yourself. Not this time.” 

Jungkook swallowed dry, feeling as panic started to climb up his lower limbs, weighing down on his muscles. His throat was dry as a desert and forming sentences proved to be a far more difficult task than he had anticipated. The air around campus had suddenly become hot for an autumn day, unable to enter his lungs with ease. He really was two steps away from a full-blown anxiety attack. 

Yoongi frowned. “You good?” 

Jungkook licked his lips, only half aware of his actions. “Y-Yeah,” he struggled to get out. “Just kind of a bomb that you just dropped on me, that’s all.” 

Yoongi nodded, uninterested. “Yeah. Get over it. It’s not a huge deal.” 

Only, it was. For Jungkook, at least. What if you two were… you know? Meant to be? Like the soulmates kind of thing; star-crossed lovers. Like in the “we got married after two months of dating and we are still together after sixty years” kind of insane love? That was a lot to process, a lot to think about, especially when he was having like three different crises at once. It was a recipe for a disaster. 

Jungkook really was dumb when it came to anything besides his textbooks, but not for jumping into those conclusions. Frankly, most people would’ve been a bit overwhelmed by that. 

No, his problem would reside on his next thought: If you two were meant to be, you would understand if, for some reason, he had to tell you about his ghosts, right? 

Right?

_______________

To be fair with Yoongi, he did keep his promise. The two didn’t interrupt your conversation once, even if sometimes the moment begged for it, and Jungkook was two words away from ruining everything. Strangely enough, things seemed to work themselves out — the horrible jokes that Jungkook uttered seemed to suit your sense of humor; the shy and nervous demeanor that plagued his dates slowly melted away. It was good — in fact, it was the best talk he’s had with someone in a long, long time. 

The issue was that, as much as the two of them didn’t talk directly to Jungkook, they still talked. 

“What was that thing that she said, you know, to her friends?” Yoongi mumbled, his words coming out as a vague connection of syllables being formed at the corner of his mouth. He had his arms crossed, and his legs pushed up on the couch. “You told me that.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung took a moment to think. He had one of his hands buried deep inside the pockets of his white pants, and the other on the back of the couch. The two of them watched the conversation that unfolded above your living room table, the two of you trying to make sense of a subject that seemed to change every five minutes. “It was like ‘homeboy can like, get it’... or something.” 

Yoongi nodded, satisfied. “Nice.” 

Jungkook cleared his throat, trying to ignore that comment. It wasn’t news that you were interested in him — that had been the only thing Yoongi and Taehyung had told him for the past few hours, but it was very, very awkward to know those specific details. He was sure he wouldn’t like you to know the private conversations that he had with his friends, even less about the things he thought about when he was alone. There was something extremely violating about that, but, no matter how hard he tried to convince them, the two ghosts didn’t seem to care enough to stop. 

The giggle that came from across the table ruptured his thoughts. “Why are you blushing?” You asked.

“I’m… uh…” he struggled, suddenly feeling the heat that emanated from his cheeks. Wonderful. Even when he was just thinking about something, he still managed to make a fool of himself. “Just… thinking about some embarrassing things I did in third grade. The usual.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been there.” You smiled, reaching for the textbook across the table, and flipping through the pages. “I ruined this entire science project once. It was something about the pollination of flowers, but I missed that class. Ended up coming back to a lot of roses around the classroom, and decided to take a few of them home to my mom.”

“Oh no.” 

“Yep,” you nodded, looking back at him. Jungkook thought that he had lost himself in your eyes for a moment, a depth so engulfing that he couldn’t find the right words once he stared at it. He had never noticed how beautiful you were — or, rather, he had, but he had never stopped to think about it — and, now, it seemed as if that was the only thing that he could focus on. “Everyone in class was super pissed, the teacher even tried to suspend me.”

He shook his head, trying to imagine a mini-you justifying your flower thievery in front of the principal. “That’s insane, actually.”

“Kind of.” You shrugged, looking back at the book. You weren’t sure what you were searching for anymore, so you decided to close it. You two had been studying for almost four hours straight, you didn’t think that your brain could handle any more of that. “They didn’t really believe me when I told them it was a mistake. Guess no one even noticed my absence the day before, which is… somehow… even worse, now that I think about it.” 

A giggle reverberated in your throat as you dove into those forgotten memories, and Jungkook followed you. 

“Don’t laugh at child me, that’s so cruel.” You smiled. 

“I’m not.” He shook his head. “I just thought you were cute. Still are, you never really stopped being cute, I mean. You’re actually really pretty now, like a woman—” 

“I got it.” You placed your hands over his, and the shock of your skin against his seemed to spread throughout his entire body. He didn’t know if that was a soulmate thing of if he was just really horny. Probably a bit of both. “Don’t worry about it. You’re pretty cute too. Like a man.”  

“Thanks.” Jungkook itched the back of his neck, trying to find the right words to build his sentence. Panic began bubbling at the bottom of his stomach, sinking its teeth into his flesh as his words left his throat. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something.” 

It was the right time now: the studying was over, the conversation was flowing, you had told him that you thought he was cute — like a man. Now, he just needed to ask you out. Just that. That’s it. Three words. He had practiced: Wanna go out? That’s it. So casual. So playboy-esque. He could do it. No pressure. If you were the one, he didn’t have much to get wrong. 

But, oh my god, what if he got everything wrong? I mean, how many stories are out there of couples who were destined for each other, but something happened and it pulled them apart forever? The wrong time, the wrong place — the wrong words. Jungkook wasn’t psychologically prepared to ruin something so huge with a moment so small. He needed to calm down and focus. Just get the words out. Everything would sort itself out after that. He had faith. 

“What is it?” You asked. 

Jungkook cleared his throat, his eyes still glued to the touch of your hand against his. Outside, birds were chirping, unaware of the absolute shitstorm that was about to ensue. “So…” he started, “I was thinking that maybe I could— I mean, you — I mean we could...”

You tilted your head to the side, confused. “Sorry, what was that?” 

He blinked once, twice, fighting against the wave of sheer terror that had taken over his brain, whitening out his thoughts. He had the sentence ready, but he had forgotten how to form it. “I’m just trying… I’m just trying here to just…” He swallowed dryly. “I was just wondering if you would like to… I mean, if it’s not a problem—”

From the other side of the room, Yoongi groaned. “Just do it! You’re making eternity so much longer.”

And that’s when it happened. 

Jungkook turned around and yelled: “You told me you wouldn’t talk, you asshole!”

The entire room froze. A horrible moment of bewildered reticence followed as  the realization crashed upon him like a gigantic wave. He couldn’t have just yelled at nothing in front of you, like an absolute madman, could he? 

Your eyes widened and you pulled your hand away from his. The lack of warmth was like a dagger being thrown directly into his heart. “Excuse me?”

Yep. He totally did that. 

“Not you!” He was quick to turn around — maybe a bit too quick, too intensely. Even with nervousness clouding his vision, Jungkook could still see the shadow of fear and confusion mingling amongst your features. He had ruined everything, and that was all that he could think about. “I’m just... personalizing my anxiety...”

“Are you... alright?” You spoke slowly, measuring his actions. Jungkook had changed from cute-nervous to absolutely-unhinged-nervous; eyes widened and jaw clenched; hands gripping the wooden chair like his life depended on it. Maybe that study session was a mistake. Maybe you should’ve just googled an online class, like your best friend told you to. “It looks like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

Taehyung chuckled. “That’s pretty funny.” 

And, if the situation wasn’t already bad enough, Jungkook started to convince himself that perhaps it would be a good idea to come clean with you about his psychic abilities — maybe that was actually the only way that he could get out of that mess. If you were his soulmate, you’d understand. It’d all be okay. Yeah, maybe you’d be seriously creeped out for like the first twenty minutes, just like he had been, but eventually you’d understand what had happened. You two would laugh about it later, maybe when you were sixty, on your rocking chairs somewhere, staring lovingly at a cornfield. 

Was he losing it? Probably. But he didn’t have the right amount of mental clarity to fully think about the consequences of his actions in that moment. 

“I… did,” Jungkook spoke sluggishly, barely comprehending the trail of words that dripped from his tongue. His voice was much calmer, but he could still feel like his entire body was engulfed by flames. “I did... see a ghost. Two actually.” 

You frowned. This afternoon couldn’t possibly get any worse. “What are you talking about?” 

“Jungkook, don’t you dare,” Yoongi warned, but his voice seemed to come from miles away. 

Slowly, as if he wasn’t really aware of his own body moving, Jungkook adjusted his position on the chair, looking down at the sea of handwritten notes in front of him. He wished that human interaction was as easy as the types of pulmonary volumes, or perhaps the changes of oxygen inside the hemoglobin. That he knew. That he could deal with.

“Ok so, have you ever watched The Emperor’s New Groove?”

You blinked twice, puzzled. “What?”

“The Disney movie,” he clarified, looking up at you. 

You shook your head, measuring how long it would take for you to bolt out of the door and run away from your own apartment. Maybe you could get out and then call someone for help. You wished you had already taken Psychiatry. “I know what that is, Jungkook, but I just don’t understand where you’re getting at.”

“Maybe it’s in the TV series that came after the movie, I don’t know, but Kronk has these two little beings on his shoulders, a devil and an angel.” He cleared his throat, and looked back at the sheets of paper. It was so hard to stare at you now, when just seconds before, it had been so easy. “I kinda have the same thing, only, they’re dead people. You know, ghosts. And they’re not on my shoulders — that’d be pretty awful, actually.” 

Taehyung mumbled from across the room, “I really don’t think this is a good idea, Jungkook.” 

“You’re making no sense right now,” you said, worried about the effect that your words could have on him. “I think… I think it would be better if you left.” 

“I can see dead people, okay?” Jungkook interrupted, exasperated. You had to understand. You were the right girl from physiology class, you had to understand. 

“Okay, Sixth Sense.” You laughed nervously. Bad time for a joke, you thought, but the boy barely seemed to process it. “Listen, I can tell you’re not doing very well right now, so you should probably leave, maybe clear your head a bit. You already helped me a lot—”

“No, I don’t need that. My head is clear—”

“You know, there is a very good mental health clinic in campus, I’ve gone there already, and I think—” 

“No! I don’t need mental health, it’s true!” Jungkook stood up, walking towards the couch, where the two dead men sat. There was an unspoken contest in the room to see who could be more flabbergasted at the boy’s actions, and you and Yoongi were in a close tie. “I can prove it.” 

You almost choked on air. “You what?” 

Jungkook pointed at nothing. “They’re here right now, I can prove it to you.”

Discombobulated, you shook your head one more time. Maybe if you did that enough, your chaotic thoughts would just fall out of your ears, and everything would be much clearer. Maybe that was a prank, maybe that was a full-blown psychotic breakdown. You just didn’t really know what to do from there. “Jungkook, I don’t think—” 

“Come on, just show yourself to her!” He yelled into the air, more specifically at your white couch. You just wanted to study cardiology, how did it end up like this? “Give me a sign, I don’t know.”

Yoongi chuckled, completely amazed by the way Jungkook continuously broke the Dumb Records that he had previously set himself. No bonus in heaven would be worth dealing with Mr. Smooth Brain over there. He should’ve gone for the orphans instead. “I cannot believe you right now.” He stood up from the couch and sighed, utterly defeated. Maybe he could just get it over with, and then The Big Man Upstairs would show him a bit of mercy. “But I guess now there isn’t much to lose. I’m only doing this because at least it would make this situation a bit better.” 

“How?” Taehyung asked. 

“There’s a slight improvement between psychotic crisis and psychic abilities,” Yoongi responded. He walked towards the window, rolled his eyes at the pathetic presentation of supernatural phenomena, and pulled on the white curtains of your living room. “Here. Boo! Paranormal activity.” 

“Did you see that?” Jungkook asked, excited. 

However, instead of meeting a surprised gaze, he only saw panic and preoccupation swimming inside your eyes. “The curtain moving? Yeah. That was the wind, Jungkook.” You stood up from the chair, measuring your chances at escaping. He was getting more and more erratic, and you didn’t know where the situation could escalate to next. “You’re seriously freaking me out right now. You’re being really aggressive about this.” 

“Yoongi, you’re worse than the spirits in Ghost Hunters,” Taehyung groaned, reappearing next to your living room table. “You have to be bold, that’s what I always say. Make a statement.”

Taehyung’s statement, of course, had been the biggest slap against a lamp that Jungkook had ever witnessed in his life. The ghosts had once told him that it took them a huge amount of concentrated energy to do something as little as move a napkin, so there was no way that Taehyung wouldn’t be exhausted after making that heavy piece of furniture fly against the wall, shattering into a million little pieces with a loud noise. 

“What the fuck?” Jungkook asked. “That was so dangerous! She could’ve gotten hurt.”

He shrugged. “You asked.” 

“What the fuck was that?” You yelled, taking your hands to your face. Was that shared hysteria? What did you just see? Maybe you were the one who needed fresh air and a shrink visit. “You’re pranking me, right? You have like a nylon string wrapped around your hands or something.”

Jungkook moved his head in denial, raising his hands up in a sigh of defeat. “I swear to God, it’s true.” 

“I don’t… I don’t believe you,” you said, clearly terrified. Not at the idea of ghosts, Jungkook realized, but of him. That date surely couldn’t have gone any better. 

Yoongi sighed and materialized behind Jungkook. Lost causes, Yoongi was surrounded by lost causes. “If you really want her to believe you, tell her we can say some stuff about her, but it’ll probably freak her out.”

“They are saying that they can convince you by saying some stuff about you.” Jungkook swallowed dry. Something inside him was screaming for him to just shut the fuck up and leave your building. If there was something he learned by being with the two undead pricks, is that they could always make a situation worse. 

But desperate times require desperate measures. 

You adjusted your posture. Trepidation was still very present in your face, but there was also a small spark of interest swimming somewhere inside your eyes. “I seriously doubt that.” 

“I can show you,” he said. “Just… don’t freak out.”

“Fine.” You licked your lips in anticipation. “The name of my first pet.”

“Is this a password verification?” Yoongi groaned. He just wanted to watch Twitches later that day, but Jungkook just had to start a seance in someone else’s room. Again: the orphans would never. “Fine. It was Mr. Green, a tortoise she killed by leaving to dry in the asphalt.” 

“It was a tortoise, Mr. Green. You left it on the asphalt and it died,” Jugkook repeated without hesitation. 

You blinked twice, taking in the answer. “This is so fucking weird. How did you know that?”

“Yoongi told me.” Jungkook pointed over his shoulder, where Yoongi stared you down. Just by looking in that direction, you felt a shiver run down your spine. You were losing it. “He’s, you know, one of the ghosts.” 

“I’ve never been so exhausted in my life.” You placed one hand against the chair, leaning against it. There was no use to keep that conversation going, and you both knew it — and yet, just like a politician lying, it just didn’t stop. “But you could’ve asked anyone that.”

It was Jungkook’s turn to become completely lost. “Why would I ask such a specific question? I don’t even know your friends.” 

Behind him, he heard another loud groan. “I’m so done with this.” Yoongi placed his hand on his shoulder. “Let me talk, Jungkook.” 

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” He asked.

Yoongi snorted. “We are all out of good ideas. But I think this is the best chance you’ve got.”

“Who are you talking to?” You almost yelled. 

Jungkook looked back at you and, for some reason, the preoccupation in his eyes scared you even further. “Okay, this is going to be really weird, alright? But it’s not gonna be me talking.”

“What?” 

“It’s like… a kind of possession,” he explained, gesticulating a bit more than socially acceptable. “It’s like… uh… One of them is going to use my mouth for a bit. Talk through me.” 

You laughed, and there was a high-pitched sort of timbre to it. That might as well happen. “Sure, of course. What else? Exorcism live?” You asked. 

“Just give me the permission,” Yoongi commanded. 

Jungkook took in a deep breath, and clenched his hands into fists. He hated that part. “Fine,” he consented. 

Gradually, the muscles around his mouth and throat grew numb, as if Jungkook had entered a dream, and his body was responding in autopilot. There was an awful pressure on his shoulders and a ringing in his ears as Yoongi accommodated himself around his body, reaching for control. That was the closest he would ever feel to being a ventriloquist’s puppet, and it was as bad as it could be. 

Yoongi spoke through him with ease: “You told your friends last week that you didn’t care if Jungkook was a shy virgin who played minecraft because he was exactly your type. You also said that your average score in physiology is ninety-seven percent and you didn’t need any help. You just needed an excuse to stay with him. Happy?” 

Jungkook inhaled sharply as the pressure on his body subsided, the numb sensation around his neck growing thinner by the second. “So violating,” he complained. 

“How did you know that?” Your voice shook him back to reality. Both of you were reaching new levels of terror every minute. “Are you stalking me?”

That back and forth was starting to get exhausting. “That wasn’t me. That was Yoongi,” he tried once again. He was starting to think that the whole thing had been a bad idea. 

“Well, fuck you, Yoongi,” you spat. 

Yoongi scoffed. “Fuck you too, princess. Maybe you really don’t deserve this man.”

“I’m not saying that,” Jungkook whispered to him, then turned back to look at you. He wanted to hug you and magically erase your memories for that afternoon, but, in reality, he couldn’t even move his legs without feeling like he could fall face-down on the floor. He really, really, really hated possession. “I’m just… I’m sorry about that.” 

“About what, Danny Phantom?” You asked, throwing your hands up in an exasperated gesture. And there it was: from panic to complete fury. That was all that you two needed at that moment. “About making me scared shitless, or about exposing me like this?” 

He suspired. “Do you at least believe in me now?” 

“Does it look like I believe in you, Jungkook?” You practically screamed. Truth was: neither of you knew that for sure. “I’m a woman of science, you can’t expect me to believe that—”

Taehyung groaned, walking closer to Jungkook. It must’ve been a world record how quickly everyone in that room got angry. “Let me talk,” he requested. 

Jungkook sighed, defeated. How much worse could it possibly get? “Go ahead,” he said.

There it was again: the feeling of being under anesthesia, the weight of an entire other being pressed down against his shoulders. Good times. “Yesterday,” he started, “you masturbated to the thought of Jungkook, but you forgot to recharge your vibrator so you had to use your fingers and you complained the entire time. Explain that, science woman.”

Another deep gasp, and Jungkook was folding over, finding balance on his knees. He really felt like he couldn’t even think straight anymore, his mind covered by a thick fog. 

You didn’t seem to be in a much different situation either. “I’m… gonna pass out.” 

“That was so unnecessary, Taehyung,” Jungkook whispered. His mouth was terribly dry, and his hands were shaking. “You guys really don’t know your limits.” 

“Taehyung? Who the fuck is that?” You screamed. 

Taehyung crossed his arms. “Hey, at least she believes you now.”

“He’s the other ghost. The one with no sense of boundaries.” Jungkook stared at Taehyung, clearly pissed off. Maybe his voice would’ve come out a bit more forceful if he didn’t get thrown around by sadistic spirits. “I’m sorry about that.” 

You shook your head, dumbfounded. “I need you to leave now. And take your ghosts with you.” You leaned over the table, and grabbed his notes, shoving them into a messy pile. Not that you were super worried about the integrity of the paper at a time like that. “This has really crossed like... every line.” 

Jungkook licked his lips, trying to find the right words to say. Someway, he managed to get his legs firm enough so he could start walking in your direction. “Please, I didn’t mean to—” 

You shoved the pile of notes into his backpack, and then the backpack into his hands. Before he could react, you grabbed him by the arm, guiding him towards the exit. “Thanks for helping me, Jungkook.” The door opened with a forceful pull, and you shoved him into the hall. “Never speak to me again. Bye.” 

The bang of the door slamming shut was horribly loud, reverberating inside Jungkook’s chest for a moment longer. Now that the possession daze was starting to move away from his body, the boy could feel the traces of panic crawling inside him. 

Jungkook dropped his backpack to the ground, and started knocking on your door. “Y/N, please!” He called. “I’m so sorry about everything. You have to believe me!” 

Your yell came muffled from the other side of the door. “Go away!” you screamed. “Or I’m calling the cops!”

Defeated, he closed his eyes and placed his forehead against the wood. Now that the situation had already climaxed, the absurdity of it all was starting to become much more palpable. 

How could Jungkook be so stupid? How could he think that you would act normally as you were exposed to the supernatural world? Especially in such distressing, violating ways. Even if you were his meant-to-be, his forever person, it would be ridiculous to believe that anyone would take all  in that with ease. He really outdid himself that time. 

“Let her be, you two can talk another time,”  Yoongi spoke, leaning against the wall. It was possible to see all the places that the pain was starting to crack through his semi-translucent form. “Good attempt, though. I’d give you a star for trying.” 

“This is not funny,” Jungkook mumbled, moving away from the door so you couldn’t hear him. The artificial lights above his head were sharp, buzzing mockingly. “You two keep saying that you’re here to help me, but you keep making stuff like this happen. If she really did like me, you just ruined everything.”

Yoongi raised one eyebrow. “Why do you care so much about that one?”

Jungkook glanced at him. “You told me she’s the one.”

He frowned, crossing his arms. “I told you she was the right girl from physiology class, not that you two were going to die holding hands or something,” Yoongi told him. “You filled the blanks yourself.”

“That’s why we don’t give away all those details,” Taehyung scolded Yoongi, looking at him up and down. Jungkook had never seen him so irritated before — at least not about serious things. “You know we could get in real big trouble if someone heard about that. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, it’s kind of the entire deal of heaven to know about stuff.” 

“I know, I know,” Yoongi groaned, disregarding his preoccupations. Maybe Taehyung didn’t understand his galaxy-brain plan yet, but he was sure that the heavens would. Or at least he hoped so. “But I think there’s something else that we need to focus on. Jungkook wouldn’t care this much about the other girls he dated, even if it was meant to be.” 

“Why are you two talking like I’m not here?” Jungkook asked, annoyed. 

“Why are you talking to yourself like you’re not in a corridor of an apartment building?” Yoongi threw back. Without a second of hesitation, Jungkook picked up his backpack and turned on his heels, walking down the hall, completely done with them. “Hey, come back. Just tell me what’s the fuzz with this one.” 

He didn’t look back. “Aren’t you two supposed to know? All-knowing and shit.” 

“We want to hear it from you,” Yoongi pressed on. 

Jungkook opened the heavy door to the stairwell, allowing for it to hit behind him. Taehyung and Yoongi passed right through it, of course, and kept following him as he quickly moved down the concrete steps. “Y/N is my friend.”

Yoongi hummed. “Go on.”

“Isn’t that enough for a justification? What else do you want from me?” He inquired, aggressive. The sound of his steps echoed like drums through the expansion of the staircase, and he hoped that no one else had been listening to his apparent monologue. “I don’t wanna ruin this friendship by talking about her masturbation techniques, I don’t know if that makes the situation super unique.” 

Taehyung clicked his tongue. “You have other friends.” 

“I care for her, alright?” Jungkook turned around abruptly, making the two ghosts stop in their tracks. Taehyung had almost lost his balance, but it wasn’t as if that could have any serious consequences for him. 

Jungkook sighed, trying to control the anger that had built up so rapidly, and continued speaking. “I care for her more than other friends. Fuck, is that what you two wanted to hear? Besides, it’s not like I know anyone better than her.  I didn’t even think I had a chance with someone like that until you told me. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s like… super hot when she’s mad—”

“Oh, would you look at that.” Yoongi grinned, satisfied. “Jungkook’s whipped.”

“What?” His eyes widened. “I’m not.”

“Why are you so red?” Taehyung asked.

Jungkook covered his face, feeling the heat of his checks emanating against his palms. “I’m not!”

“Okay, okay, calm down, tiger,” Yoongi raised his hands in a silent request for forgiveness.  They were still a few steps above Jungkook, and the whole scene looked like something straight out of the Book of Revelation. “This is a good thing, we actually thought it would never happen. It’s not like you’ve been this introspective in what… five years? More even.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Yoongi sighed, and looked at Taehyung for confirmation. The other ghost nodded in a silent agreement, and Yoongi started to speak. “Listen, we’re here to help you, but we didn’t say everything,” he admitted. “We couldn’t, really, otherwise it wouldn’t be so... organic.”

“What?” 

“Jungkook, you were desperate to lose your virginity,” Yoongi explained. “You still are, in a way. And that’s not a good thing, because you’ll get the first thing that moves and you’ll try to stick your dick in it.”

Taehyung chuckled drily, looking at a fixed point. “Which is not a good idea, believe me,” he spoke in a mumble, and Jungkook could not help but think that his advice came from personal experience. That, of course, was a story for other, less sober times. 

“Is that why the two of you always interrupt me?” He asked, a bit offended. “Because those girls weren’t right for me? Like this is a purity cult or something?” 

“Eh.” Yoongi did a so-so gesture with his hand. “Kind of. Not really. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that you actually feel something for this girl, something beyond the thoughts that come from your lower head.”

“And she feels something for you too, even after that trainwreck that we just witnessed in there,” Taehyung added patiently. “Which will help us a lot in the long run.”

“This doesn’t make any sense.” Jungkook crossed his arms, stubborn. He really could look and sound like a child throwing a tantrum when he wanted to. “I still don’t get it. It wasn’t your place to tell me who I could or couldn’t be with, it’s not as if you guys are—” 

“Jungkook, that’s enough,” Taehyung interrupted him. “You don’t think it makes sense? Stop and think for once in your life.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “What did you say?” 

Taehyung glanced at him. “Listen, we just saved you from months of wrong dates and wrong nights. We pushed away people who didn’t really care about you, who just wanted you to use you, or who would end up cheating on you anyways. Not everyone gets this privilege,” he said, completely done with that victim mentality. “So, for once in your life, be grateful. Be grateful for the bad dates,  the embarrassment, the times that it didn’t work out. And, look, we are sorry for the way they had to go down, it wasn’t as funny as it seemed from our perspective. But if you didn’t have those bad dates, you’d have very, very bad months following them. So you’re welcome.” 

“And all those bad dates lead you to the right person,” Yoongi completed, watching as Jungkook’s expression withered into shame. He was staring to get it — they could almost see the hamster in his brain start running. “Now, listen, we don’t know if this is the for-life situation, that’s not the kind of information we have, alright? Do I look like a seraphin to you? No. But does it matter?  No. Most relationships aren’t the for-life thing anyways, but they are here to teach you something. And if the afterlife thought that there was something good for you here, who are we to judge?” 

“Yeah,” Taehyung agreed. “Now, can you  please forget about all those past people and just focus on her? Maybe shut the fuck up while you do that? I get that you wanted to get your dick wet, but there’s a time and a place for that.” 

The boy sighed, and leaned against the red handrails. It took Jungkook a few seconds to speak out. “I feel like I’ve just been lectured by my parents,” he admitted. 

Taehyung relaxed his shoulders. “Good,” he said. “I’ve been meaning to slap some sense into you for months now, but I didn’t really have the permission.” 

“Feel better?” Jungkook asked.

He nodded. “Much better.”

“I’m happy for you,” he said. Jungkook ran one hand through his dark hair, pushing back the strands that had fallen over his eyes. “And about Y/N… There’s no way she’ll ever talk to me after this mess. I ruined everything.”

Taehyung nodded. “You pretty much did, yeah.” 

“You took the worst case scenario and managed to make it even more horrible,” Yoongi said. “It’s pretty impressive, actually.” 

“Thanks, that’s great.” Jungkook chuckled, humorless. He could always count on them for emotional support. “But, I mean… What do I do now? I mean, is there anything that we could do to save this?” 

“Worry not, my child,” Yoongi smirked, crossing his arms. “Taehyung and I are masters of seduction, and we’re here to help you. Just trust us.” 

“And before you say something,” Taehyung interrupted, raising one finger. “You never had the right girl before, so we weren’t really trying. I think we can find some real solid ground here.” 

Jungkook breathed out, and looked down at the grey stairs. Yeah, it’s not like he wasn’t at the bottom of the well already. “Fine. One last chance,” he agreed, looking back at the ghosts. “Just tell me what I have to do.”

______________

Much to Jungkook’s delight, he didn’t need to muster up the courage to talk to you, because you did that first. 

For the first time in their lives (and deaths), Yoongi and Taehyung actually did something right. Jungkook didn’t really know the details of their plan, all that he knew was that they would find a way to “make you see what you were missing” so that you would “come crawling back to him”. Which didn’t sound threatening at all.

 Countless possibilities crossed Jungkook’s head — horror movie hauntings, Taehyung invading your dreams with claws for fingers, Yoongi with a wet wig crawling out of your TV — but, in the end, no matter how much he insisted, the two of them just wouldn’t say a word. Apparently, there was a lot going on backstage that Jungkook had no idea about, so he should just “take it easy” and wait for the sequence of events to unravel. Amazing. Now he knew how the characters in Final Destination felt. 

“Just be patient, young one,” Taehyung had told him, thrown over his couch like a Victorian monarch. “All you need to know is that she will be back. Everything else it’s just… details.” 

And, two weeks after the dormitory incident, you did. 

There was a muffled thud as you placed your large books over the wooden table, and sat down across from him. The silence of the library didn’t allow for Jungkook to foresee your arrival, and to meet your gaze so suddenly was enough for his face to burn up in shame, his heart drumming against his ribcage. His sympathetic system really needed to quit with that bullshit before he collapsed. 

“Hey,” you mumbled, seeming just as uncomfortable as he was. “Can we talk? You know what about.”

The boy swallowed dry, and leaned a bit forward. “Y-Yeah, sure,” he whispered back. “I’m really sorry, Y/N, I don’t know why I thought—”

“For how long?” you sliced his sentence short, making his lips fall shut. 

Jungkook raised his eyebrows in surprise. “What?”

You cleared your throat, and shuffled on your seat. As much as the library was practically empty, neither of you felt courageous enough to use your usual voice tone — especially when dealing with that subject. “How long have you been able to, you know, see them?”

Jungkook took a second to respond, licking his dry lips and looking at the line of bookshelves as if seeking for the right thing to say. He felt awkward enough just interacting with someone from the opposite sex, but talking about the ghosts he saw? Hell, that bordered on a panic attack. Especially after the circus show that was that past study session. “Almost two years now, I think,” he finally answered. “But they told me they’ve been around for a bit longer. I just couldn’t see it.” 

You shook your head in concordance, even if the information was everything but easy to understand. “That’s crazy,” you spoke. “I don’t know how you deal with it.” 

Jungkook let out a dry chuckle. “Not very well, as you can probably tell.” 

 “I don’t think I can judge you. I didn’t precisely react well either.” You swallowed dry, wide eyes flickering on the world behind Jungkook. “Are we alone now?”

As much as he already knew the answer, he looked around just to check. “Surprisingly, yeah,” Jungkook responded, slightly suspicious. Yoongi and Taehyung were always looking over his shoulder and throwing him into messy situations, he couldn’t tell why they weren’t there when, quite frankly, it was their perfect shot at humiliation. Maybe they really were doing their jobs for once. “I don’t know why they’re not here. That’s weird.”

You shrugged as if to say that you wouldn’t know either. “What are their names again?”

“Yoongi and Taehyung,” he answered, then waited another second to see if he could feel their presence. Nothing again. That was really strange — they often responded upon being called. “Listen, Y/N, I hate what we went through. They had no right to say those things. I’m used to the privacy issues, since I have been with them for a while. But you aren’t, and I can only imagine how weird you felt hearing all that. I’m really, really sorry.”

You pressed your lips together which, Jungkook guessed, was a failed attempt to suppress the rubor that exploded across your cheeks. He couldn’t blame you, though, for there were limits that were crossed. “I’m over it if you are,” was what you forced yourself to say. 

“I am,” he lied. None of you were particularly good at not telling the truth, and that was pretty obvious. But ignoring it was a start. 

“Good, okay.” You cleared your throat, placing the palms of your hands against the pile of books. “Sorry for lying about needing help in physiology, and all that. I just needed an excuse to spend more time with you, as you know now. I guess it’s obvious that I kinda have a huge crush on you.”

“It’s fine.” Jungkook laughed, extremely relieved to notice that your last sentence was in present tense. “I kinda have a huge crush on you too.” 

Honestly, even if it wasn’t for life, he’d have to give you props for still liking a guy that had had a borderline psychotic breakdown in your apartment, talked about your pet tortoise, and your masturbation technique, and still had the nerve to expose you to the supernatural world. It was a lot. Good on you for taking it like a champ. 

“And,” he continued, “sorry for using my ghosts to expose your secrets. I just needed to find a way for you to believe me, and I had no idea about what they were going to say. I was pretty much in a frenzied state, I wasn’t thinking straight. It won’t happen again.” 

“Apologies accepted.” You smiled, relieved. You were really beautiful, Jungkook thought in a breathless instant. He could look at you all day. “You know, it’s going to take me some time to get used to all that. I mean, I’m still not a hundred percent sure I believe in everything, but, I… My lamp flew across the room, and you told me things that you simply couldn’t know about. So, if it’s a prank, it’s a really good one.”

“I know how it is.” He nodded in agreement. “It was really difficult for me at first, too. I understand if you’d rather just stay away from me from now on.” 

You sighed, looking down at your books —  the two mammoth-sized volumes of Harrison’s Internal Medicine staring at you in mockery. “Weird thing is: I don’t really want to.” You crossed your arms and leaned back against the chair. Was that the sound of angels singing? Jungkook couldn’t tell. “I’d love to spend more time with you. Alone, if possible. And that counts both planes of existence.” 

“Sounds fair, I’d love that.” Jungkook smiled. As he met your eyes, he was filled with a  warm, rose-colored courage that he had never felt before. “Actually, I was wondering if, you know… you wanna do something? With me? Alone, of course. No ghosts. One of these days, I don’t know. If you’re not busy—”

You raised your eyebrows, interested. “You’re asking me out?”

He sighed, shoulders falling in defeat. “Trying, yeah. You can see I’m not the best at that either.”

Your smile grew a little. “That’s a big yes.”

“Really?” Jungkook stared at you like a lost puppy, his mind going completely blank for a second or two. The hamster in his brain was now somersaulting through his body, landing on his stomach and hitting him with a wave of nausea. “Wow, thanks. I don’t really have an idea of what we could do, though. Didn’t think I’d get that far.”

There was an instant of quietude as you thought for a moment, the space between the two of you permeated by the vague sounds of pages turning. “Movies?” You asked. 

“Sounds great.” Jungkook smiled openly, his shoulders falling in alleviation. He didn’t know what Taehyung and Yoongi had done, but he was beyond thankful for it. Seemed like their sacrifices weren’t in vain, after all. “The film majors are doing this 2000’s marathon this week. I think this Saturday it’ll be either Mean Girls or 17 Again.”

“I’m in,” you spoke excitedly. “I’ll be there, just text me the details.”

Jungkook almost swallowed his own tongue as he watched you stand up, presenting him with a gorgeous view of thighs beneath the level of your skirt. “Great!” He exclaimed a bit too loud, his voice a bit too high-pitched, awakening his inner thirteen-year-old. He cleared his throat, lowering his voice another octave. “I mean, yeah, great. Thank you for… saying yes.”

“Thank you for asking.” You placed your hair behind your shoulder, and leaned in to pick up the heavy pile of books. All nine kilos of Internal Medicine. 

“See you there,” he said. 

You smiled. “See you, Kookie.” 

Jungkook watched you walk away as if he was floating in a fever dream, completely unable to believe what had just unfolded. Did he seriously manage to get a date with you? Of all people? He must’ve been hallucinating. Maybe he ended up falling down the stairwell and died, perhaps that was his heaven, and he would— 

Behind him, Taehyung sneered. “Kookie? You’re getting softer than your dick.” 

Jungkook turned around so brusquely that the chair tilted back and, if it wasn’t for him holding down to the corner of the table, he would’ve fallen to the ground. “You two were there all along?” He whispered-screamed. Before he could land a sermon on them, though, he met the devilish smirk that was plastered all over Yoongi’s features. Oh no. No. The movies. “No, Yoongi, I know what you’re thinki—”

“Get in, loser, we’re going to the movies.” 

_________________

Saturday rolled around and, with it, came your much anticipated movie date. Jungkook had spent the previous night tossing and turning on his bed, completely monopolized by anxiety, thinking about every possible apocalyptic scenario that could go down. What if he tried to take a slip of his drink, but ended up blinding himself with the straw? Maybe he would step on the wrong chord and set the entire college on fire. Or maybe he would trip, fall down on a poor girl, and kill her on the spot. That would be awful, you would never talk to him again after any of that — the imaginary disappointment in your face was like a punch in the gut. 

Was he being ridiculous? Obviously. Did that stop his pre-date panic? Obviously not. 

Still, with the might of a thousand warriors, Jungkook managed to drag himself to your date, his knees almost giving out beneath him when he saw you — he didn’t believe you would actually come, for some of him still thought it was all a sadistic heaven prank. Somehow, he blurted out a compliment about how good you looked while he was having a heart attack, and almost lost his consciousness when you smiled at him. 

Yep, it would be a difficult night. 

The movie marathon consisted of three 2000’s movies, and the two of you managed to arrive right before Mean Girls started, fumbling on your seats as the rest of the room grew quiet. The makeshift classroom didn’t look like a movie theater in the slightest, but it wasn’t as if you were expecting that in the first place — it was nothing more than an agglomeration of chairs and desks, combined with a few puff chairs and old couches scattered around. Much to your delight, you and Jungkook managed to grab one of those couches before another couple returned to their seats, and he could see that his ghost buddies had already found their own place on the empty chairs behind the two of you. 

Surprise! None of the catastrophic scenarios in his mind actually came true. In fact, he had a great time with you, laughing at your jokes and sometimes flat-out stealing Yoongi’s commentary just to make you chuckle, which granted him a few mumbled complaints coming from the back row. 

“Jungkook is so superior, don’t you think, Taehyung?” Yoongi mocked, and Jungkook was sure that he would be kicking his seat if he could. “So smart. So great. But can’t even figure out his own jokes. Has to steal them from a poor dead man. You’re a grave robber.” 

Taehyung chuckled. “Hey, you’re helping him, at least. That’s our whole point here.”

“Grave robber!” he repeated, more aggressively this time. “I can’t believe you’d ruin Mean Girls for me like this. Not even hell would be so cruel.” 

“How dare you say that about hell? If I get in trouble because you can’t keep your mouth shut, Yoongi, I swear to God—”

“Now you’re saying God’s name in vain, you heretic! That’s so much worse!” 

Jungkook had to bite back a laugh as the two continued bickering behind him, only half aware of the scene in which Regina George glued her own picture on the burn book. He didn’t know when exactly he had done it — he had been so on edge the entire night that it was almost as if his own brain was instantly deleting his memories, but he had managed to curl one arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. He was sure that you could hear the frantic heartbeat of his heart against his chest, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t think he could even get that far. 

But he did, and even reached beyond that. 

Once the screen faded to black and the credits started appearing, there was a resounding wave of claps in the room, cheering for the absolute cultural reset that was that movie. One of the students moved to the front of the room, explaining that they would take a ten minutes break, then would return with She’s All That. Apparently, 1999 was close enough to the 2000’s for it to be picked as well. 

“Do you wanna stay and watch it?” He asked, fighting every muscle in his body not to smell your hair. He knew that it would be super creepy, yeah, but your head was right there and it smelled so good. 

You removed your body from his chest, looking up at him. “I would love to, but I have to wake up early tomorrow to study,” you said. “Big test on Monday.” 

“Sure, yeah.” Jungkook nodded, slightly let down. To be honest, he had completely forgotten that information until that point. Seems like he would have a lot to catch up on during the next day. “I’ll walk you to your dorm.” 

You thanked him with a smile, and you two got moving. 

The walk back to your place wasn’t exactly awkward, but it could have also been a lot better. The two of you talked about the movie animatedly, the subject that you had to study — an awful amount of gastric pathology to memorize — and, eventually, landed on your weirdest experiences during hospital rounds. You were in the middle of telling him how two toddlers (twins) managed to puke on you at the same time, and how you thought that was a sign of a telepathic connection between the two, when he felt the back of his hand brush against yours, and everything around him turned into static. Suddenly, it was all that he could think about. 

Jungkook had already spent the entire date with questions flying around his head. When was the right time to pull you close? Could he hold your hand, or would that be too bold? Could you smell how sweaty he was? Or maybe his deodorant was too strong? If he ran away, trained to be an astronaut, and joined the Mars colonization mission, would he be able to avoid embarrassing himself again? 

And, more importantly: would it be weird to kiss you goodnight? 

Considering the fact that he had no clue how to read your body language, and that almost all of his romantic experience came from bad sitcoms and Twilight marathons with Yoongi, Jungkook didn’t judge himself suited to answer that last question. He didn’t know if he should hold your hand, he didn’t know if you were just being polite or if you actually had a good time. Again and again, his anxiety got the best of him. He should really get back to seeing his campus counselor. 

“So… we’re here,” you said, holding your hands in front of your body. You had stopped at the entrance of your block, and Jungkook took that as a sign that you didn’t want him to go all the way back to your apartment. Fair enough. “Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun. We should do this again sometimes.” 

“For sure, yeah.” Jungkook nodded, somewhat relieved that you asked for that. At least that was a clear sign that you didn’t completely hate him. “That would be great.” 

You agreed and looked down at your shoes. The darkness of the night enveloped the two of you, only half of your features illuminated by the dim yellow shine of the nearest light post. Jungkook almost fainted when you stared into his eyes, with a faint blush painting your cheeks, and questioned, “So, you’re not gonna kiss me?” 

Windows’ blue screen. Please, hold.

 “I… I, uh—” Jungkook’s mouth felt as if he had just swallowed an entire desert, his brain fighting to keep his voice steady. Your eyes, so focused and expectant, felt like daggers against his chest. “I didn’t know if you wanted to,” he finally admitted. 

Your shoulders fell as a tender smile curled up on your roseate lips. Jungkook thought you were the most beautiful thing he had ever had the pleasure of seeing. “I do,” you told him gently. His heart almost leaped out of his throat. “Do you want to?” 

And that was the easiest question that he would ever answer. “Yeah,” Jungkook said. 

You smiled. “Perfect.” 

The boy barely had time to react before your hand was curling around the fabric of his shirt, and you pulled him towards you in a playful tug. Jungkook’s eyes stayed comically widened for a second after your lips met, but, soon enough, he allowed himself to melt into your embrace, his nervous hands landing on your waist, and his mind instantly calming down. 

He kissed you slowly, carefully, almost afraid that, at the faintest of movements, reality would shatter and he would lose that moment forever. Of course, it didn’t, and he stayed on that instant a bit longer before, at last, he pulled away, slightly breathless. 

“I should’ve done that sooner,” he confessed. 

You tilted your head at him, fingers playing with his hair. “It happened at the right time,” you said. “Some things can’t be rushed. Especially the good ones.” 

Just like that, he understood what Taehyung and Yoongi had been saying all those years. No matter how cliche it was, there was some truth to the saying that ‘what is supposed to happen, will’. And, the better that something is, the more work it will require. 

But, as he kissed you again, Jungkook realized that it was all worth it in the end.

____________

The following months by your side were so amazing that Jungkook constantly brought back his theory that “maybe he was actually dead, and that was heaven.” And, if it was, he would make sure to shake God’s hand himself because, holy fuck, was he one lucky man. 

Okay, maybe the first few weeks together were a bit painfully cringe-worthy, but he was really trying to pretend as if they didn’t happen. Jungkook didn’t really get the memo, and he had to slowly figure out how to behave romantically with you. He got it wrong the first few times — kissing you at the worst possible moment, or sending you a huge bouquet of roses during your microbiology exam — but, eventually, you guided him towards more neutral grounds. Then everything went smoothly. 

Surprisingly, even the undead duo calmed down for a while. Yoongi and Taehyung were still around, since they had no other option, but were much quieter now, only making punctual remarks when Jungkook made a fool out of himself. Hell, they even left the room when things started getting more serious between the two of you, instead of giving Cosmopolitan-worthy advice, and that was a huge improvement. 

But, of course, it wouldn’t be Jungkook’s life if there wasn’t a huge joke waiting just around the corner. Soon enough, another issue would present itself. 

It came in the form of a warm mumble against his lips, and the vague — yet deliciously noticeable — rolling of your hips against his own. “Jungkook,” you called, breathless after a long make-out session. The two of you were on his couch, with you sitting on his lap, straddling him. “I want you.” 

He froze. What else would he do? Jungkook was a panicked virgin. He knew that your intimate times would happen eventually — and he really wanted them to — but he didn’t expect that his mind would completely malfunction once he got so close, with his erection growing inside his pants and the softness of your breasts pressing against his torso. It was just a lot, alright? 

And, lost amidst the tempestuous sea of his sudden despair, all that he could utter back was, “Are… Are you sure you want to do this right now?” 

“Yeah.” You placed a strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook thought that he could faint on the spot. It was actually a pretty common sensation with him. “You don’t want it?”

“No — I mean yeah! Yeah, I want it.” He choked on his words, looking down in embarrassment, only to meet the contour of your thighs. His youth leader had been right all along: temptation was everywhere. “I’m just… I’ve never done anything before.” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” you tried to calm him down, placing your hands on his shoulders. The heat of your palms seemed to have some effect on the chaotic emotions that boiled inside him, for his muscles relaxed considerably under your touch. “I won’t pressure you, okay? If you want to take more time, it’s completely fine.” 

“No, it’s not like that. I don’t feel pressured.” He shook his head, then looked up at you. You could almost feel the conflict inside his gaze, the mixture of anticipation and fear that you knew all too well. “I want you, Y/N, I really do. I’m just nervous.”

“It’s fine,” you repeated. “We don’t have to do anything now, and we can start slo—”

But he couldn’t listen to the end of your phrase, because a familiar voice damn near hollered from the other side of the room. “Taehyung, come in here! Quick!” Yoongi yelled, signaling through the door like he was controlling the air traffic. “He’s getting some! Jungkook’s about to get his cherry popped the fuck off!” 

You tilted your head to the side, staring him down with preoccupation. “Jungkook? Are you okay?”

“The fuck! There is no fucking way!” Taehyung’s voice got louder as he yelled, signaling his growing proximity. “Call NASA right now!”

Jungkook sighed, throwing his head against the couch. Goodbye erection, and goodbye any chance of having sex that day. “Yoongi and Taehyung just showed up,” he mumbled bitterly. 

You lowered your gaze and took a deep breath, then removed yourself from his lap. Jungkook hated the lack of heat, and he swore he would have drop-kicked the two if they weren’t in a different dimension. The certainty of death was all that he needed to know that he would get his revenge some day. “Of course they did,” you complained, fixing your clothes. “I love being cockblocked by cockless ghosts. Again.”

“Hey!” Taehyung sounded actually offended. 

Jungkook turned around harshly, his voice bitter. “Can the two of you just fuck off? This is not the time.” 

“So you two can fuck?” Yoongi grinned, then looked at Taehyung. “We should, actually.”

“Jungkook… this is too weird now.” You raised your hands in a silent bargain for it all to stop. You could deal with a few psychic sessions every once in a while, but being a voyeurism victim for ghosts wouldn’t be the way you wanted to spend your afternoon. “Let’s do this another time, okay? I should get going anyways. Big day at the hospital tomorrow.” 

He took one of his hands to his face, massaging his temple. You got up from the couch, reaching for your backpack. “Yeah, okay.” The boy pouted, and you leaned in to give him a quick peck on the lips. Disappointing end for a night, to say the least. “Good luck tomorrow. Text me if you get an interesting case!”  

“Thanks! I will.” You threw your backpack strap over your shoulder and started walking towards the exit. Jungkook couldn’t blame you for just wanting to leave that place as soon as possible, he was sure that the discomfort was much worse for you. “Bye, Jungkook! I’ll let you know when I get to my place.”

He opened his mouth to thank you, but you were already out the door. The lock clicked shut, and the silence became thick, mocking him. Even if he already had an actual girlfriend, Jungkook still found himself being left behind by someone that would never want to see him again — dick semi-hard and morale shattered on the ground. Seems like he always found himself back in that position. 

Taehyung materialized on the couch next to him, hugging his knees. He was staring at the closed door, somewhat expecting that you would come back, but knowing very well that you wouldn’t do so. “Okay, I accept that it was our fault,” he said, oscillating his gaze towards Jungkook. “Sorry, man. We are like, super invested in this. There’s almost nothing interesting going on in the afterlife and this is, like, better than any TV show airing right now.” 

Jungkook rolled his eyes, utterly exhausted at the mess that had become his life. He was done giving them sermons: it had basically turned into the world’s worst pastime and gave little to no results. “You know what? Just promise me you’re not going to show up next time.” He stared both of them down. “I don’t wanna be watched, that’s just weird. And I know that Y/N isn’t happy about that either.” 

Yoongi shrugged. “Some people like it.” 

“Yeah, I’m not one of those people,” he told him. “Guys, please. I know you two are as excited as I am about this, and I appreciate your... support, but I think this is something I need to do alone. In peace. Not being watched by spirits. That’s isn’t too much to ask.”  

“He’s right, you know?” Taehyung said, looking back at Yoongi. “We should stay in our lane for now.” 

The other ghost looked down at his feet, which basically morphed into the carpet beneath them. For the first time in two long years, he actually seemed like he was rethinking his actions. “Yeah, sorry,” Yoongi responded. “We got carried away. We’ll leave next time. Maybe try something when your neighbors are having a movie night.” 

Jungkook’s shoulders fell in alleviation.  Maybe not everything was doomed. “Thank you,” he spoke, then nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I’ll probably do that. When is the next one?” 

Taehyung looked at Yoongi, then back at him. “What are the chances that you’re gonna get your virgin shit together by tomorrow night?”  

___________

Slim to none, actually, but he had managed to (kind of) do it. Focus on the “kind of.”

Jungkook had spent the previous night doing in-depth research about sexual intercourse,  and basing his actions in real-life situations. That meant that he stayed up until four in the morning watching porn. Not masturbating. Just watching it very closely and trying to learn what to do — like an actual serial killer. 

“Do you think that this is… a good idea?” Taehyung spoke from the other side of his room, preoccupation plastered all over his face. The whole porn-science was funny for the first twenty minutes, and then it just ended up being terrifying. “You know that people don’t actually have sex like that, right? It’s all exaggerated.” 

“Quiet!” Jungkook raised his finger after a particularly loud moan echoed, his eyes red and glued to the computer screen. The white light from his device was awfully sharp, bathing his figure and making his image border on demonic. It really wasn’t a good look. “I’m researching. I need to know what to do.” 

“You look and sound like a maniac.” Taehyung walked closer to the bed, measuring his movements. After he died, he thought that he would never be afraid of any other living thing — but Jungkook had just proved him wrong. Against his best judgement, he took a peek at the screen. “No! Oh my— That’s not natural. That’s so wrong. You should know, you studied anatomy.” 

“I’m not gonna do this tomorrow,” Jungkook mumbled, closing the video. Taehyung recoiled back to the darkness of the room like a vampire that had just been touched by the sun. “The plot was interesting.” 

“You’re not even hard, man,” he said, pointing at Jungkook’s trousers. “This is like, really weird. You should stop before you have some problem getting it up tomorrow.” 

“What are you trying to say?” He narrowed his eyes, paranoid. “That wouldn’t happen. I know what I can do.”  

“You’re the medical student, take a look,” Taehyung insisted. “There’s research about that, pornography affects young men and women a lot and— Actually, what the fuck am I talking about? This is crazy. I should’ve left with Yoongi.” 

“Wait, I just—” Jungkook closed his computer with a sigh. His hair was disheveled and his gaze was unfocused. It really was the oddest night in Taehyung’s life/death. “I just don’t know what to do tomorrow. I’m about to have an anxiety attack. It’s like the third one tonight.” 

Taehyung pressed his lips together, the discomfort inside him being replaced by a warm sense of understanding. “Man, she knows you don’t have experience. She isn’t expecting a porn star performance, or whatever the fuck you were just watching.” He pointed to the computer, which was now neglected amongst the sea of blankets. “By the way, I’m a changed spirit. I hate you for making me see that.” 

Jungkook would have laughed at his distress if he wasn’t too tired to do that. “Technically, you decided to look at it yourself,” he corrected. “But, yeah, I know she’s not expecting anything great. But I don’t wanna make a fool out of myself, you know? Not like it’s a rare occasion or anything.” 

Taehyung shrugged. Being alive made everything seem so much more important than it actually was, he thought. “Lay back and let her take the lead, then.” 

Jungkook furrowed his brow, his eyes widening at the idea. Of course! That was the big  galaxy brain moment he needed all along. “Are you serious? It’s that simple?” He asked, hopeful. 

Taehyung chuckled. “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” 

Yeah. It was that simple. Who would’ve thought that those see-through idiots actually would have something intelligent to say? 

Really, it was a time of miracles in Jungkook’s life. The following day, the planets aligned and, for the first time ever since puberty, everything went right for him: the class ended a bit early, his neighbors decided to watch two movies instead of one, and his place was perfectly devoid of any paranormal activity by the time you wandered into it. 

He didn’t tell you that he had planned that entire thing before it happened — he thought it would be super strange to schedule his virginity loss out loud — and he was glad to see that everything evolved naturally. One hour and forty minutes after you arrived, you two were already at the same point that you had left the day before — only, this time, you two actually managed to get to his bed.

“They’re not here, are they? You’re sure?” You asked in between kisses for what should’ve been the fifth time. 

“No, I asked them to leave earlier.” Jungkook’s hands pressed down on your hips, the sensation of your center rolling against his erection eliciting a sigh from him. Ha! Fuck Taehyung and his soft dick curse. “I actually… Before we do anything, I actually wanted to know if you could, you know, help me a little.” 

You hummed, taking your face away from his. Jungkook watched as you licked your lips, your eyes dazed, and leaned in to place another kiss against his mouth. “In what way?” You asked. 

“Just... show me what to do,” he said. “What you like, if I’m doing something wrong… everything.” 

With a soft smile, you agreed, arms curling around his shoulders. “Of course,” you told him. “It’ll be my pleasure.” 

That being said, you dove back to his lips, feeling as he both simultaneously relaxed and tensed up under your touches. Jungkook had evolved a lot in those past few months, you realized, since the early-dating version of him wouldn’t find himself in that position without turning into a stuttering, blushing mess beneath you. It was kind of cute, but you’d never say that out loud. 

You felt his hands trailing up your back, underneath your clothes, his palms dwelling in the softness of your skin for a moment before, in a courageous movement, he decided to pull your shirt up. There was a short separation of your mouths as the piece of clothing slid up your arms, and collapsed against the floor in a puddle of cotton. 

Jungkook sighed once he felt the lace of your bra against his hands; the softness of your breasts was something that he continuously daydreamed about. Now, without the barrier of your clothes, all that he needed was to remove that last constriction and he would be— 

“Oh well…” He chuckled nervously, fumbling with your bra. “Sorry, I don’t know how to open this.”

You smiled at the embarrassment that danced around his features. “Relax, okay?” You said, moving your hands to your back and taking care of that problem yourself. You’d teach him about the magic of unclasping bras another time. “It’s fine.”

But Jungkook didn’t have time to think about an answer, for soon your bra was meeting your shirt on the floor. His reaction would’ve been the same if you just moved over and came back with a baby dinosaur in your hands — his eyes widening in amazement as he took in the image of your nude breasts, a small whimper perishing in his throat as he slithered his hands upward, cupping them. 

Your breath stopped for a moment when he leaned in, reluctant, and enveloped one of your nipples with his warm mouth, his tongue delicately coming out to trace circles on your sensitive flesh. Jungkook groaned at the sensation, his cock becoming unbearably hard against his pants, and tilted your body over so he could be on top of you. 

You curled up against the sheets, sighing in delight as the boy continued to work on your breasts, kissing and sucking lightly, taking his time. Every time you looked down, you could see that Jungkook was having almost as much fun as you, the small moans that dripped from his tongue vibrating inside your chest. 

“Does it feel good?” He raised his gaze towards you, expectant. “Am I doing a good job?” 

“Yes, very good.” Your hands curled around the roots of his hair. The action was gentle, but Jungkook shuddered under the sensation — every small movement proved itself to be a lot for him to handle. “You’re doing amazing. Is there something that you want to do, Kookie?” 

The boy licked his lips, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed hard. Part of him (probably the sleep deprived one) still didn’t believe that you two were actually doing that — that it wasn’t just a figment of his horny imagination. No, it was real. You were right there in front of him, beautiful and devastating, caressing his hair as you waited for an answer. 

“I… I want to make you feel good,” he said, wide-eyed and hesitant. His dick felt painfully hard being so constructed by his pants and, suddenly, he became aware of how clothed he still was. No wonder it was so hot. “Just tell me what you want me to do.” 

Your lips curled up at his adorableness, one of your hands meeting his wrist. Patiently, you guided it down, and placed it on the hem of your pants. “Can you touch me?” You questioned. “I can tell you what I like.” 

“Oh, please,” he almost pleaded, his hand already fumbling to open your pants. Much to his delight, those were a lot easier than your bra, and they were soon sliding down your legs with ease. 

He took a moment to take in your form, eyes traveling up from your legs, to your hips, then all the way back to your breasts. As Jungkook met your gaze, he allowed for a suspire of relief to depart from his mouth, shoulders relaxing. “I’m so lucky,” he spoke, “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

The smile that you presented him looked brighter than all of the stars above. “Come here,” you called, leaning against your elbows. “Give me a kiss.” 

Obedient, Jungkook did as you requested, a grunt escaping his chest once you pulled him into a sloppy kiss, nails brushing lightly against the skin of his neck. He had goosebumps at the sensation, his hand moving by its own will, navigating down your stomach and towards your heat. 

His fingers hovered, insecure, over the hem of your panties for a moment. Still, at the sound of his name being spoken against the kiss, he was overtaken by an ephemeral spark of courage. Soon, your panties were on the floor too. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” Jungkook whined at the contact, his fingers dwelling just above your entrance. Inside his pants, his cock twitched at the sensation, his lower body already tingling with excitement. He didn’t know how he would manage not to cum in his pants, but he would have to find a way. “What do I do now?” 

“Now...” you said, leaning your head against the pillow. “Move up and find my clit. Make all those hours of anatomy worth it,” you joked. 

Jungkook nodded, but anatomy was much more difficult when he wasn’t actually looking at a certain part of the body — he was much more interested in watching your expression. Embarrassed, he did as you requested, trailing his wet fingers up until you told him to stop. “Right there,” you said, sighing once you felt his hand pressing down on it, starting to trace small circular patterns. “That’s it, baby, great job.” 

His heart leaped at the compliment, and his actions became firmer. Jungkook thought he would go insane when he heard you whimper and cry out at the sensation, your hips bucking up against his hand ever so slightly. “You’re so hot,” he breathlessly confessed, his words coming in a hot puff of air against your neck. His digits slowly trailed down, towards your entrance, and he paused. “Can I?” 

“Yeah,” you agreed. 

Jungkook swallowed hard, adventuring one finger inside you. At the sensation of your walls clenching around him, he moaned, biting his lip. “God, you’re so tight,” he told you, adding a second finger. You raised your hips at the contact, hands curling on his hair. “I can’t wait to feel you around my cock.” 

His mouth came back to your breasts, sucking and licking your flesh. Jungkook was a mess, you realized — pressing down his hard member against your thigh, whining against your skin as his fingers curled inside you, sinking into your wetness. God, you weren’t made of steel. “I want it,” you told him, and he didn’t understand your words for a moment. “I want to feel you, Jungkook.” 

And he didn’t need anything else. The boy moved away from your body and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor alongside the rest of your clothes. It was no time for hesitation— he didn’t know how much of his precious alone time he had left. “Condoms.” He pointed at his nightstand. “Top drawer.” 

You turned around on the bed, reaching for the furniture as the boy unbuckled his belt and clumsily removed his pants. The mattress bounced beneath you as Jungkook tossed himself around, finding a way to lose his balance as he threw his pants on the ground. Much to his relief, you weren’t paying much attention to it. 

He was already panting — in a mixture of excitement and his pathetic effort to remove his pants — by the time that you gave him the condom. “Do you put it on, or do you want me to?” You asked. 

Jungkook had trained on enough bananas to know that he could do it, but he wasn’t gonna let the chance to have you touching him down there pass. “You do it, please.” 

You nodded, sitting next to his expectant figure. Jungkook’s chest rose and fell in anticipation, his muscles glistening with the small droplets of sweat that decorated his caramel skin.  His cock was hard and heavy against the fabric of his grey underwear, practically calling for your care. 

Attentively, you watched as his abdomen tensed up at the feeling of one of your hands pressing down against his clothed erection, delicately moving towards his crown. A gasp tumbled from his lips as you rolled your thumb against it, noticing the wetness that had already accumulated beneath your hand, and he rolled his hips against the pressure. Really, Jungkook was too precious. 

“Please, don’t tease,” he begged, eyes following your every move. His cock throbbed in your hands, needy. “I don’t think I can hold it much longer.” 

With a hum of agreement, you moved your hand away from his erection, and pulled his underwear down gently. Jungkook whimpered at the fiction, and the way his cock was freed from its constraints, bouncing back against his abdomen. The smallest of touches was more than enough for him to lose himself. 

“Shhh, it’s fine,” you calmed him down, slowly (too slowly) rolling the condom on him. His hands clenched into fists next to him, grabbing handfuls of the white sheets. Okay, maybe you were being a bit mean. “Just tell me what you want.” 

Jungkook closed his eyes for a moment, holding back a cry of frustration. “Ride me, please,” his words came out in a plea, his expression so permeated by need that you thought that he could cry if you teased him any further. God, everything was so perfect about him — the glistening in his onyx irises, the reddening of his lips as he bit down on them, trying to fight back a whimper as you placed yourself over him. “I— I need to feel you. I’m going crazy.” 

There was no need for more convincing — again, you weren’t made of steel. 

You sighed as you sank down on his member, one of your hands finding support against his pecs, as the other curled around his cock, guiding him inside you. Jungkook closed his eyes and threw his head against the alabaster pillow, his flower-like lips opening to cry out at the sensation. “Oh fuck,” he cursed. “Oh, baby, that’s so good.” 

Seeing him like that, so submissive, so deliciously responsive to your faintest of touches, was, at the very least, extremely erotic. You loved to see the way he flinched and whined at the sensation of your walls clenching around him, his hands unsure of where they should be on your body. Awfully slow, you rose your hips from him, almost letting him slip out, before you shifted your weight back down, watching as Jungkook moaned out your name. 

God, he was really about to fall apart. 

Slowly, you began setting a pace, moving up and down on his cock. It was a lot slower than Jungkook expected, but it was just the right speed to make him appreciate every sensation of your body wrapping his own. 

“Feels good?” you asked, a bit breathless. The sensation of him filling you up was even better than you had anticipated, and, combined with his shameless exclamations of pleasure, you didn’t think that you’d last much longer either. 

Before he could answer, a tremulous sigh ruptured upon his mouth, reverberating just behind his teeth. Jungkook took another second to find his words, inhaling sharply. “So good,” he spoke, and you almost whined out at the lust that ornamented his voice. “Can you move faster? Please?” 

Maybe in different times, you’d take your time to provoke him a bit more. At that point, though, you’d do anything he wanted you to. “Yeah,” you agreed, doing as requested. The sound of your wetness and the slapping of skin against skin was lewd, filling the room alongside Jungkook’s voice. “Like this?”  

“Fuck, yeah, like this,” he cried out, closing his eyes in absolute euphoria. He could feel the movement of your asscheeks against his palms, the sensation enough to drive him insane. Jungkook was already amazed at the fact that he didn’t embarrass himself with premature ejaculation the second that you removed his underwear — but it didn’t mean that he didn’t get close to it. The second his hands squeezed your ass, he was positive he would end the game a bit earlier than the two of you would like. “It— it feels so good. Please, don’t stop.” 

With a moan, you threw your body forward, placing kisses on the curvature of his neck, a sensation that quickly sent shivers down his skin. The new angle made his cock hit even deeper inside you, causing for you both to melt in pleasure. “You feel so good,” you told him, nails digging against his flesh. The knot in your stomach was all too familiar, and you knew that you wouldn’t take much longer. “I love having you inside me.” 

“Oh, yeah, that’s good.” He mumbled, only half aware of the words leaving his lips. Jungkook’s eyes were dazed and unfocused, looking at nowhere in particular, his fingertips digging in your flesh. “You’re… you’re getting tighter.” 

“Y-Yeah,” you agreed, voice coming out in a moan. “I’m close.” 

He swallowed hard. “I can help,” he said. 

Before you could ask what he was trying to do, Jungkook moved his hand back to your center, two of his fingers playing with your clit. You gasped at the sensation, eyes closing as you kept riding him, rolling your hips, feeling as he reached for every part of you. It was all becoming too much, the pleasure that decorated his features, the  delicious friction of his body against yours, the frail moans that dropped from his tongue like honey. He was just too much. 

With a faint call of his name — a melody that would be stuck in his head forever —, you finally crossed the threshold of your orgasm, and came around him; morphing into a trembling and moaning mess. Jungkook watched, in absolute awe, as your face was monopolized by bliss, your teeth sinking down on your bottom lip and your eyes rolling back. 

He removed his hand from your heat, placing it on your waist. Using every final ounce of energy in your body, you continued riding him. Through parted lids, you noticed that his thighs were starting to shake, signaling that he, too, was close. “Baby,” the boy called out, his fingers digging to the sides of your hips. Jungkook was both trying to guide your movements, and hold himself back to reality. It was a beautiful view — the way his expression lingered somewhere between delight and distress; his hips mindlessly trusting up against yours. “I think I’m gonna cum.” 

You breathed out through your nose, trying to ignore the pleasure that, now, was turning into sensitivity. It felt good, in a way, but you were more focused on his relief at that point. “It’s okay, Kookie,” you told him, “you can let go.”

He had been so polite the entire time, with his “please” and “thank you’s. So, of course, when you told him that it was okay for him to cum, he did just as you requested. 

Jungkook came with gasping breaths and a trembling, high-pitched moan, holding on to you as he thrusted his last sloppy advances towards your core. His hands, weak, fell on the bed besides him, clenching the sheets; eyelashes fluttering down as he dwelled on the afterglow of his pleasure. You could stay there forever, looking at the pink shade that colored his cheeks; the beautiful mess that his black hair had turned into; or the tears of relief that accumulated at the corner of his eyes. 

But everything has to end, even the most beautiful ones. 

His tongue came out to wet his lips, and his eyes, still hooded, met yours. Not even the biggest minds in the renaissance could’ve thought of an image so perfect, so ethereal. “You’re so amazing,” he praised. “That was… amazing.” 

You smiled and leaned in to place a soft kiss against his lips. His member slipped out of you at the action, and his arms curled around your waist, keeping you in place. “You did pretty well,” you mumbled as you lazily curled up against his chest. Jungkook’s body was a delicious source of heat, and you could really get used to that. “I see a bright future ahead of you.”

He hummed, caressing your hair. Jungkook could finally smell it without being creepy, so that was a big victory for him. “You did most of the work,” he said. 

“That’s not an issue.” You nuzzled his neck, pleasantly feeling as goosebumps spread throughout his body. Always so responsive. “I’ll let you take the lead next time, if that sounds good to you.”

Jungkook chuckled. “That’d be great, yeah,” he agreed. Part of him thought about using a few tricks he learned during his late-night research, but he wasn’t super sure that it would be a good idea. Maybe he should keep that card up his sleeve for a bit longer in case he needed to surprise you later. “Do you want to spend the night? It’s kind of late to go back to your place now.”

The words fell from his tongue with ease, surprising the boy for an instant. He noticed that he was much more comfortable in your presence, like the pieces of the puzzle had finally fallen into place. Not because of the sex itself, he realized, but because of the vulnerability and intimacy that came with it. It happened just as it was supposed to. 

 “I’d love to.” You smiled, and placed a kiss against his neck. “But I’m going to kick you out if you start snoring.” 

“Out of my own place?” He asked. 

You sighed, voice filled by traces of your upcoming slumber. “Don’t you test me,” you spoke, wrapping your arms around him. “Medical school is killing me, I need some sleep. And I will get it no matter the price.” 

Jungkook laughed at your tired words, one of his hands caressing your head in infinite delicacy. As he held to your body, curling so perfectly against his own, he knew that everything would be okay. And maybe he needed a good night of sleep too. 

A few minutes later, as he started to feel the sensation of his consciousness slowly drifting away to the land of dreams, a bittersweet sentiment overtook his chest. There was an instant, even if ephemeral, in which Jungkook believed he would never see Yoongi and Taehyung again — after all, the two had already concluded their mission: Jungkook got the girl and there was nothing else left for them to do. In between two consecutive breaths, he felt both relief and solitude. Silence wasn’t as welcoming once he realized no voice could break it. 

Though, his melodramatic moment was short-lived. Behind him, a known timbre cheered for him:

“I’m so proud, I feel like a soccer mom.”

#bts fic #bts smut #fluff #crack #smut #bts fluff #bts crack #jungkook #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook #x reader #x you #bts x reader #bts x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jungkook crack #bangtan boys #yoongi #taehyung #reader insert #psychic!au #bts au #fanfic

[robininthelabyrinth]

Wen Ruohan/Wei Wuxian?🍉

Forked Path - ao3

“You did me a favor, and I intend to repay that,” Wen Ruohan said, adjusting one of his gauntlets in irritation – more at the fact that he was sinking back into that old nervous tic, a tell that he’d thought he’d eliminated years ago than at the actual request, ridiculous as it was. “But to confirm, you’re certain that this is what you want? It’s not in my nature to stop midway, so if you have any hesitations, exercise them now or not at all.”

The two rogue cultivators looked at each other and after a few moments of clear silent communication and struggle, they looked back at him and nodded. The man did so reluctantly - Wen Ruohan looked at his wife, the immortal mountain’s disciple, and her nod was far more firm.

“Very well,” he said, lips twisting in distaste. He hated owing people favors, especially when they rejected his preferred counter-offer to graciously allow them to work for his sect, but he wasn’t yet so ungracious that he wouldn’t live up to something he had to do. “We are therefore agreed: in the event both of you die prematurely, I will take your son into my sect to be raised therein, rather than allow him to be raised alone outside or in the Jiang sect."

He paused, frowning. "To be clear, however, I am not going to raise him myself! He’ll be brought up among one of the branch families.”

Dafan Wen had some kids around the same age, didn’t they? That was pretty out of the way. With luck, he could avoid having to see the brat at all…and that was all assuming that these two died, of course. Still, based on their level of certainty and the association of the immortal mountain with divination, Wen Ruohan was going to assume a worst-case scenario was likely to occur.

“That’s fine,” the man said, his voice oddly sarcastic. “We don’t expect you to do more for us than you do for your own children.”

That pricked at Wen Ruohan’s pride, since he didn’t have a conscience to be affected.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked with a frown. He had two sons of his own, and they were being raised perfectly well by his wives, as far as he knew. It wasn’t really his concern until they were old enough to actually start getting started in cultivation, swordsmanship, or even the scholarly arts, at which point he would naturally take over their education with the assistance of many able tutors – he was far too busy to waste time with them, squalling brats that they undoubtedly were, until then.

“Nothing,” the woman said, and she looked amused – he almost suspected she was amused at his expense. “After all, with hard work, even the sharpest sword can be ground down into a needle.”

That wasn’t how that idiom went at all, but Wen Ruohan was too lazy to correct her.

Later, though, after they’d left, her words kept pricking at him in the same matter as idiomatic needle – it occurred to him that he didn’t much like his wives, even though the connections they’d brought to his sect were exceedingly beneficial. It was said that where there was a father, there was a son, the two invariably resembling each other, and he’d assumed that that would be the case here…but on the other hand, if he left all the initial raising of his sons to those wives he didn’t like, wasn’t he risking them raising the children to be just like theminstead of him? Grinding down his sons’ edges, so to speak?

That would be utterly unacceptable.

He was so busy, though. Beyond his own cultivation, his sect now controlled over a third of the cultivation world, and he was ambitious to raise that to half, and then perhaps even further. How could he waste time on something as pointless as taking care of small children?

On the other hand, he supposed that in the long run he’d actually be saving time if he at least made sure they were raised up right. After all, he’d always assumed that his two sons would be his right and left hands, his able aides capable of enacting his will, and obviously it would be a disaster to find out later on that they’d been spoiled rotten or rendered stupid....

No, he was sure his arrangement was fine. How much damage could his wives do in just a few years?

…perhaps it wouldn’t be that bad an idea to check in on them.

Just to make sure.

He definitely wasn’t going to raise that stupid Wei boy, though. Favors had limits!

-

“Your accomplishments do you credit,” Wen Ruohan said to Wen Qing, and even meant it the way he didn’t mean most of the things he was forced to say at these stupid discussion conferences.

After all, Wen Qing was of his bloodline, if distantly – Dafan Wen was a branch family – but at any rate, they shared a surname, and it was sheer pleasure watching her put all those other ‘promising’ young masters in their place. Anything that added a sheen of glory to his sect was a good thing.

She saluted deeply, trying to hide the way she was beaming, and Wen Ruohan wondered once again if it was time to bring her back to the Nightless City as his ward instead of leaving her out in the wilderness with the rest of Dafan Wen. To get the sort of medical skills she had at her age showed promise and talent, and he needed people of promise and talent, especially ones with his surname, if he were going to make good on his intention to conquer the cultivation world.

He would’ve brought her back years ago, in fact, except that Sect Leader Nie said that children were fidgety, flighty creatures that were bad at dealing with change and that he’d be better off sending medical texts and tutors to Dafan Wen rather than bring Wen Qing back to the Nightless City over her father’s protests. Normally, Wen Ruohan would have disregarded advice he didn’t like and proceed with his own intentions regardless, but Sect Leader Nie had been helping him deal with his own sons ever since he’d reclaimed them from his wives, who he’d discovered had been ruining them, and it seemed unwise to dispute with him regarding matters of child-rearing at that point. After all, if he wanted Wen Xu to end up as even half the son that it looked like that Nie Mingjue was going to be, he needed the man’s expertise, and that meant making compromises, irritating as it was.

Compromises like not just killing Wen Qing’s father for refusing to hand over his children, despite it being easier to accomplish. Or not killing Sect Leader Nie himself, no matter how irritating the man was, because now his sons loved that old bastard.

(Wen Ruohan had spitefully decided to get back at Sect Leader Nie by spoiling his youngest son, who seemed at first glance to be more like the lazy scholarly type, beyond belief. It seemed to be working very well so far, including in causing Sect Leader Nie no end of frustration at his extremely clever-when-it-came-to-evading-work second son; Wen Ruohan, satisfied, viewed this result as being wholly due to his own efforts.)

“How did you find that talisman you mentioned in your last paper?” he asked Wen Qing lazily. “I hadn’t seen it before. Was it in one of the books I sent, or somewhere else?”

In truth, that had been the most interesting aspect of the presentation from his perspective – he didn’t have either talent or interest in medical cultivation, but he could recognize firepower when he saw it. Just because the talisman worked on disrupting things at a very small level for medical reasons didn’t mean it couldn’t be repurposed for larger things…

“Oh, no, Wei Wuxian invented it,” Wen Qing said. “He used it to blow stuff up until I convinced him to make a smaller version for me.”

“Wei Wuxian?” Wen Ruohan asked, frowning, and then recalled – ah, yes, the Wei boy. His parents had died some five or eight years back, if he recalled correctly, and he’d had to go fetch him pursuant to that old agreement; it had been extremely annoying at the time. He’d been in the middle of a very nasty argument with Sect Leader Nie at the time, the one that had led him to think his most serious thoughts to date of eliminating the man entirely, and then, just as he’d been on the cusp of making a decision, he’d received word of the deaths of Cangse Sanren and her husband Wei Changze.

Naturally, he needed to find and recover their son as he’d promised long ago, which given how unreliable reports of the location of rogue cultivators was naturally became a colossal waste of time, but on the bright side it had at least given him a chance to vent his spleen and get out some of his rage on something other than wringing Sect Leader Nie’s neck. It turned out that Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze had died in some obscure night hunt in Yiling, but figuring that out had all but taken a full-scale canvass of six different territories – and then Sect Leader Jiang, who hadn’t bothered to do anything near the same level of search and had opted to search the various towns individually on his own, as if that would ever work, had tried to leapfrog off the back of his hard work, thinking he could just thank him and take the boy away just like that.

Wen Ruohan had refused, of course – he had the parents’ personal request, and that outweighed Wei Changze having been a former servant of the Jiang sect or Cangse Sanren being possibly a former lover of their sect leader – and it had turned into something of a political mess for a while.

That had been where he’d gotten most of the venting out, actually.

Sect Leader Nie had sided with him in that fight, though, rather viciously, and by the end of it all Wen Ruohan was reminded of why exactly it was that the man was a useful ally to have around. He’d also forgotten what exactly they’d been fighting about, but he wasn’t going to admit that, so he just magnanimously forgave him. It had all turned out rather all right, and Wen Ruohan had put the boy out of his mind shortly thereafter.

Why would he come up now, all of a sudden?

No, wait, he’d sent him to Dafan Wen, just as he’d planned. And of course Wen Qing was from the main branch of Dafan Wen as well – she would’ve been raised with Wei Wuxian as a little brother.

“How is he doing?” he asked, more out of etiquette than actual interest, but Wen Qing lit up and started talking about how her little shidi was a verifiable genius, and so good with her actual younger brother, and whatnot. Wen Ruohan nodded, pretending he was listening, and cast his eyes around the rest of the discussion conference, looking for a distraction – there was Sect Leader Nie, who was generally good for a laugh, but he was scolding that second son of his for failing one of Lan Qiren’s classes and having to be sent a second time over. Jiang Fengmian was comforting him, telling him that he was sending his son as well this year, and of course Jin Guangshan’s heir was of age as well, and would undoubtedly be going, too…

Hmm.

“If he’s such a genius, he should interact more with his peers,” Wen Ruohan announced. “I’ll recommend him – and that brother of yours, I suppose – for the lecture series at the Cloud Recesses this summer.”

It wouldn’t do to be left, after all.

“You…you will? Really? That’s wonderful! Thank you for the opportunity, Sect Leader Wen! They’ll treasure it! How can we ever repay your kindness –”

“As long as they impress me with their talents,” Wen Ruohan said, already imagining Jiang Fengmian’s constipated expression at seeing his lover’s son that was stolen from his grasp wearing Wen sect colors and, in an ideal world, smearing his own son into the ground with his superlative skill. “That will be repayment enough.”

-

“You need to get laid,” Sect Leader Nie said, and Wen Ruohan was reminded again of why he despised the man and should have killed him years ago. Why hadn’t he done that again? “As a matter of cultivation.”

“You’re joking,” Wen Ruohan said, putting down his bowl of wine and staring at him in disbelief. He hadn’t expected the man to actually be serious. It was rare enough an event, but in fairness to him, he never joked about matters of cultivation. “How does one help the other?”

“It’ll help balance you out.” Sect Leader Nie thought about it. “Or at least let you get out some of that nervous energy that makes you a paranoid megalomaniacal little bitch about eighty percent of the time.”

That sounded a bit more in character.

“If dual cultivation could fix personality problems, Lao Nie, you’d be immortal.”

“Who says I’m not?” Sect Leader Nie asked, teeth bared in a smile. “Only time will tell. Haven’t I already outlived my father?”

Wen Ruohan rolled his eyes. Sect Leader Nie had outlived his father because when he’d started in on a qi deviation like every other member of his blasted family, he, Wen Ruohan, had personally dived into the irritating bastard’s spiritual consciousness and dragged him back out again. It was very much not something that people were supposed to do, being more likely to cause qi deviations in the person doing the rescuing than resulting in an actual rescue, but he’d never cared what people were supposed to do and, really, it would be extremely annoying to have to do without him now that he’d invested all that time and effort and figured out how to get some real use out of him. Anyway, they both seemed to be fine and possibly they were also soul-bonded now - he wasn’t actually sure, Wen Qing always got a weird expression on her face whenever she talked about it, and he usually stopped listening at that point.

He didn’t really care. As long as it didn’t interfere with his plans, what did it mtter?

“Who exactly am I supposed to be dual cultivating with, exactly?” he asked dryly, deciding to address the matter head-on because that was the only way Sect Leader Nie understood things. “Don’t volunteer yourself again. I already told you that I refuse to indulge your ridiculous kink for dangerous people.”

Anymore, anyway.

Sect Leader Nie made a face at him, but Wen Ruohan ignored him. He might’ve fallen for that before the whole spiritual consciousness-soulbond business, but now he knew for sure that it was a kink, so – no.

Nothappening.

“You have a kink for things that increase your power, I don’t know why you’re being so judgy about my kink,” the other man grumbled. “And I don’t know, find someone – not another wife, you hate your wives, and anyway they’re much happier with their other lovers.”

“I didn’t pick them because I liked them,” Wen Ruohan pointed out. “I picked them because I wanted to absorb their sects and all the aligned sects associated with them. Which I did.”

“See, this is your problem! You married for power, rather than power, if you get my meaning –”

This was true. If any of his wives could cultivate worth a damn, maybe he’d care more about them. As it was, getting a son on each of them had been an exercise in willpower.

“ – and now you’re too busy pursuing power to fuck anyone else. You really need to get it out of your system. Find someone who can kill you.”

“No one can kill me,” Wen Ruohan said. “I’m the closest thing the cultivation world has to a god. Everyone should bow down and worship me.”

Sect Leader Nie started muttering something about megalomania again, but Wen Ruohan ignored him. It wasn’t a qi deviation talking if it was true.

“I bet we could find someone who could kill you if we tried,” Sect Leader Nie finally said. “And if they’re powerful enough to kill you, they’re probably powerful enough for the dual cultivation to improve your own cultivation, which is all you care about…we should start a war, maybe.”

“A war? Against who? And why?”

Sect Leader Nie frowned thoughtfully, stroking his chin. “The Jin sect?” he suggested, probably because he’d never liked Jin Guangshan. “Or the Jiang sect? Or both, I guess, since they’re allied. They’re next on your take-over list, aren’t they?”

“You’re next on my take-over list,” Wen Ruohan said threateningly, except Sect Leader Nie only laughed at him. Which was fair, he supposed, that whole soul-bond thing made the whole conquering business somewhat unnecessary – Qishan Wen and Qinghe Nie were bound together now as thoroughly as if he’d married the man.

Which he hadn’t. And wouldn’t. No matter what stupid snarky comments Sect Leader Nie said about Wen Ruohan treating him as a de facto consort on account of not having devouring his sect whole.

(Which he wasn’t going to do either - his sons still loved the man, and by now they were as thick as thieves with the Nie boys. What was he supposed to do, disappoint them? It’d be the same as disappointing himself, and he wasn’t about to do that.)

“I suppose we could start a war against the Jin and Jiang,” he allowed. His plan had always called for battle eventually, since he knew there was a limit to how many sects he could absorb through political, marital, economic or other means. As long as the other Great Sects stood against him, he’d never be able to achieve total domination – plus, he’d have to continue to suffer through those awful discussion conferences with the boring lectures and the petty politics of it all. Why couldn’t they see that they’d allbe better off under his dominion? “I could send Wen Zhuliu –“

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not how you fight wars honorably, and also because I hate that man’s guts. I can’t believe you gave him your surname.”

Wen Ruohan rolled his eyes yet again. Such petty concerns were beneath him. “If we launch a surprise attack using him assassinate the Jiang sect leaders, thereby bringing down the Lotus Pier, the war will be over sooner,” he pointed out.

“Makes it harder to assimilate them into the Wen sect afterwards, though,” Sect Leader Nie pointed out, and damnit, he had a point. “Not to mention you’re going to want some experienced people policing your waterways when you finally take over…”

Damnit.

“Fine,” Wen Ruohan said. “We’ll declare war the old-fashioned way. Maybe we’ll find someone on the opposite side that can impress me, and then I’ll marry her – or him – and be done with the whole business. Happy now?”

Sect Leader Nie made a maybe-so gesture with his hand. “Anyone who can match you in power can probably kill me,” he said regretfully. “Would you consider sharing –“

“Paws off my hypothetical future consort, you beast. Anyway, aren’t you already pursuing Lan Qiren because he nearly slit your throat with a guqin string once?”

“A man can look!”

-

“Say,” Sect Leader Nie said, staring at the army of fierce corpses currently shambling along to the tune of Wei Wuxian’s flute, advancing inexorably towards their enemies – an entirely new cultivation style that the boy had recently invented. In an effort to impress his benefactor Wen Ruohan, apparently. “Are you sure about the no sharing rule?”

Wen Ruohan stared at the grown man perched on a tree like a demon, wrapped in shadow and crackling with power, eyes glowing as red as the sun-patterns on his clothing, who seemed to want nothing more from the world than to serve it up to Wen Ruohan on a platter.

“Yes,” he said, voice only a little strangled. Maybe Sect Leader Nie had a point about power being a kink for him. “I’m very sure.”

#mdzs #wen ruohan #sect leader nie #wei wuxian is sir not appearing in this fic #my fic #my fics #forked path