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plutoccult · 5 months

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HAIKYUU X THE OFFICE AU — EPISODE THREE: EMPLOYEE AWARDS NIGHT

pairing: sugawara koushi x female reader

description: it’s the annual employee awards night for japan pulp and paper, your least favorite night of the year. after getting embarrassed year after year over your ill-fated engagement, you just hope the night turns out decently, and your new conflicting feelings for sugawara aren’t all that helpful either.

word count: 5.4k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: hello! i’m sorry this third part took so long to get to you guys. i’m juggling schoolwork alongside life in general and i didn’t want to rush this then post something crappy as a result. i’m really passionate about this au and want to provide the best content possible for everyone, not just myself (because honestly this is so self indulgent for me to write). this part will be inspired by the dundies episode, of course with many changes, and as you can tell, we’re getting closer to the angst!!! my favorite!!! i’m thinking about making a suga x reader playlist, honestly. hopefully the wait for this was worth it, and i hope you enjoy!

“y/n, y/n, y/n!” oh, how you hated the tone of ukai’s voice right now. based off experience—and also the time of year—he was either going to a. act super excited about something, b. say something stupid, or the most popular option, c. both. “you know what time of the year it is.”

“unfortunately, i do.” you sigh as you look up from your computer.

ukai pouted over your lack of enthusiasm. he should know by now why you were like this. “why aren’t you excited? awards night! chili’s! booze! ribs! good vibes!”

yes, awards night. you absolutely despised this night ever since you began working at the office. it was more like an ordinary power trip for ukai rather than an actual celebration for the employees. most if not all of the time, at least someone got absolutely humiliated, and you were one of the common targets. but, there was free food and drinks, so you couldn’t totally hate it, even if you really did hate it a whole lot.

“well, i do like ribs.” you shrug.

“what about booze?” he questioned.

“i need to listen to a lot of taylor swift if i’m going to drink, or be really sad…” you pause. “or all of the above.”

“ugh, how pathetic.” ukai scoffed and began to walk away.

“don’t make me tell takeda you bully your employees on the daily.” you lightly threatened, but ukai wasn’t wavered by your words one bit.

“i bully him on the daily, i’m invincible!” he said, perhaps a little too loud as the entire office could hear him, even takeda himself in his little nook.

“uh-huh…”

•••

“every year, ukai holds an awards night for all the employees at japan pulp and paper. mind you, he funds the entire thing. none of the other branches to this. just this one.” you explain to the camera as the crew questioned ukai’s yearly excursion. “it’s probably my least favorite night of the year besides the bachelor finale. i always get sad thinking about how majority of those relationships never work out…”

•••

in his office, ukai put on a show for the documentary crew as he conveniently placed all of his past awards on his desk for the sake of “cleaning” them. they were all awards he gave to himself, but he still felt like a winner regardless.

“oh, what’s this?” ukai asked as he pretended to act like he didn’t notice the cameras were rolling. “just my “world’s best boss” awards. i’ve never lost once. i should make a reel, actually… Y/N!”

you cursed to yourself as you got up from your desk and walked to ukai’s office, eyeing suga as he snickered quietly and rolling your eyes as a result. “is it a y/n problem or a ukai problem?”

“y/n problem.” he said without hesitation. “i’m emailing you footage from every miyagi awards and i need you to make a highlight reel.”

“can’t you just make tanaka do it?” you whined. you could be doing much more productive things right now, like making faxes or pining for suga from afar— oh! you were still struggling with that newfound realization, it seemed.

“but where’s the fun in that?” ukai whined.

oh, but the fun was so obvious to you, how could your egotistical boss not see that? “um, he’d probably make the highlight reel all about you rather than everybody else.”

“y/n, you beautiful genius.” perfection, just like you wanted, and a rare compliment from ukai too. “TANAKA!”

tanaka bolted out of his seat, knocking over his chair and even spooking the shit out of suga. he tripped over his feet multiple times as he ran to the sound of ukai’s voice, almost like an over-obedient puppy. it was sad, but oddly adorable at the same time.

“yes, sir?!” tanaka asked, practically gasping for air. how could he be so out of breath so quickly, you wondered.

“miyagi awards highlight reel. have it done by the end of the day.” ukai ordered, passing your previous duty onto someone far more willing.

“i’m on it!” he said excitedly, running back to his desk as quickly as he arrived.

now that you got away with not having to do a thing, you wanted out of ukai’s spiky hair. “am i done here?”

“eh, make me a coffee or something.” ukai said, shooing you away. as if you were going to do that for him.

“sounds like a ukai problem, not a y/n problem.” you sassed, shocking your boss as he cried out for you on your way out of his office.

“y/n! god, where did you learn that from?! tsukishima?!”

•••

“she sure did.” tsukishima smiled proudly as the two of you high fived each other. where else would you learn such sass? from the sass master himself, of course. he was the leader of the sassy apocalypse.

“you know, i actually dislike you less now, tsukishima.” you say nonchalantly, and tsukishima is touched by your words.

“that is the nicest thing i’ve ever heard.” he said, placing his hand over his heart to show his appreciation.

•••

the work day went by, and tanaka sat on his computer while looking through past awards footage. upon his digging, he stopped on a certain clip from last year, one you instantly recognized just by the sounds of the camera shuffling, even from the distance of your desk to his. you couldn’t believe you were reliving this right now.

“yo, guys. watch this.” tanaka called out. nishinoya and hinata get out of their seats and crowd at tanaka’s desk to watch the computer screen with more of your coworkers following suit. it all made you want to crawl into a hole and die.

tanaka resumed the video, thus playing out last year’s utter embarrassment. it was ukai announcing your award, one that haunts you to this day. “and the award for "world’s longest engagement" goes to… y/n l/n! give it up for y/n, everybody!”

the sound of everyone’s applause in the video erupted through the office. suga sat awkwardly across from tanaka, so even if he wasn’t watching the video, he could hear it all loud and clear. he remembered that night all too well, and all suga could think to himself was that if he was your fiancé, he wouldn’t leave you waiting around to get married.

“when are you finally gonna tie that knot, you two? when pigs fly?”

god, the memories are all coming back to you. getting the award was bad enough, but with ryo right there watching, just as embarrassed as you, it was all too much. you couldn’t take the humiliation anymore, so you walked away from your desk and went to the break room, hoping it would be empty so you could go cry in there. suga noticed you walk away, and while tempted to comfort you, he thought of something much better.

suga—with the camera crew inches behind him—knocked on ukai’s office door. when ukai noticed the cameras, he motioned for them to come in. suga just knew his boss simply couldn’t resist it.

“hey ukai?” he walked through the door, one of the crew members closing the door behind him. “ooh, it’s cramped in here.”

“you’ll get used to it.” ukai shrugged. “what’s up?”

“have you, uh, finalized the miyagi awards yet?” suga asked. he was beating around the bush right now, but it was all part of his not so sinister master plan.

“why, you want me to rig something? because i can be convinced…” ukai dramatically paused. “with money.”

“no, not exactly. i just, uh…” he sat down in an empty chair. “i’m kind of curious as to what award you’re giving y/n this year.”

you see, ukai didn’t have a clue about suga’s feelings for you. if he paid a little more attention to his employees, he’d see how clear as day it was that you two had some unspoken thing going on. even the documentary crew noticed it on their first day of filming. his obliviousness was just bad.

“oh, same as last year, no contest.” ukai struggled not to laugh, the mere thought of what happened last year giving him the urge to burst. “it's the best one.”

“world’s longest engagement? again?” suga scoffed. he had an inkling this would happen, and thank god he decided to talk to ukai while you had no suspicions.

“yeah, it’s hilarious.” he replied.

now this was where suga had to let his plan really start rolling. it’s phase one now. “i just, um, i think it’s just pretty much expected by now, you know?”

“but that's why it's funny.” ukai said. “every year that y/n and ryo don't get married, it gets funnier.”

“well, i think if you use the same jokes it just comes across as lazy, if you catch my drift.” suga shrugged. there comes the first crack in the glass. he knew exactly where to push ukai’s buttons.

“lazy?!”

“and unoriginal.” the glass had been totally shattered now.

“well, i never!” ukai gasped out of offense. lazy and unoriginal? he’d rather die than have his jokes be called such things, which is why he fell right into suga’s trap.

“oughta think of something better then.” he said, resisting a smirk.

“and what’s your idea of better, suga?” ukai questioned, crossing his arms as he waited for an answer.

“oh, well, let me think about that.” suga smiled to the camera, proud of his work.

•••

you walk into the break room with tears in your eyes. unfortunately for you, takeda was sitting at a table alone as he sipped a cup of coffee, so you quickly wiped away your tears and pretended as if nothing was wrong.

“oh, hey, takeda.” you sniffle. “excited about awards night?”

you weren’t exactly the best at hiding things, which takeda instantly noticed. it’s almost never a good idea to cry in front of the hr guy. “y/n, are you crying? did ukai do something insanely offensive again?”

you’re silent for a moment, trying to think of what to say to him, especially considering he’s higher up than you in the company. regardless, the words all just come out like word vomit.

“i’m in the world’s longest engagement with a man who doesn’t even know my favorite flavor of yogurt.” you spilled out, instantly regretting saying those words out loud based off the confused look on takeda’s face. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said anything—”

“no, no, no. it’s okay.” he reassured you. “you guys can come to me about anything, especially if it’s ukai related.”

“really?” you asked in disbelief.

“emphasis on anything, not just the ukai stuff.” takeda said. it’s nice to know someone else around here has your back, even if that’s quite literally part of his job.

“thanks, takeda.” you say. “i don’t know why ukai messes with you so much.”

“trust me, i don’t know why either…” he quietly said to himself.

you decided that since you were already in the break room, you might as well grab your favorite snack, but alas, someone ate it. again. you knew you should’ve bought that mini fridge to hide behind your desk like you wanted to.

“aw, did yamaguchi eat my fucking yogurt again?” you groan then instantly realized you dropped the f-bomb on camera once again. “oh shit, i just cursed. fuck, i did it again! oh my god, please stop me—”

•••

“i am not okay, guys. not okay.” you say while laughing almost manically, sparking concern from the crew who questioned your sanity. “i have feelings for someone who isn’t my fiancé. someone i work with, no less! i’ve been with ryo for years, since college! but will i EVER get married? i just… i don’t know what to do. i just want this to all go away.”

•••

after arguing with ryo at home, you finally convinced him to come along with you to chili’s for awards night. he wanted to go out to a bar with his friends instead, but he did that plenty enough, so one night without going wouldn’t kill him, at least you hoped that was the case. you couldn’t bear to hear his voice any longer at this point.

the two of your entered the restaurant and were greeted by tanaka and nishinoya, who were taking on the role of ushers before the event properly began.

“welcome to the eighth annual japan pulp and paper awards night.” nishinoya greeted you. “may i take your coat, y/n?”

“sure, nishinoya, thanks.” you say, taking off your coat and handing it to him.

“ryo—” he began to say before ryo brushed past you and grumpily walked towards an empty table. “nevermind.”

you softly smile to them before following ryo, taking the vacant seat next to him. you let out a sigh and look over to see suga was already here, sitting at a table with hinata and kageyama, seemingly babysitting them for the night. you assumed daichi put him up to it, wondering how he was able to be convinced.

“i can’t believe you dragged me here after what happened last year, y/n. you embarrassed me.” ryo scoffed.

god, not this argument again. you remembered what happened when you got home that night last year. your argument lasted all throughout the hours of the night, all to end with no solution. you both went to work the next day with bags under your eyes, the sweet bliss of caffeine keeping you in a somewhat functioning state.

you couldn’t understand why ryo would claim this was all your fault. he was the one that proposed to you! besides, you were far more than willing to plan a wedding, but it takes more than one person to do it. you would have never gotten that pathetic award in the first place had it not been for his lack of cooperation. it’s why your relationship was doomed to fail; he never wanted to work as a team.

“really?” you raise an eyebrow. “if anything, you embarrassed me.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, a hint of threat in his tone.

“it means exactly what i said.“ you huff.

“pft, whatever.” ryo rolled his eyes. “we should’ve just went to the thirsty bulldog with the warehouse guys like i wanted to.”

“well, you can go. i’m staying.” you cross your arms.

before ryo could get another word in, tanaka walked onto a small stage with a microphone in hand, signaling the awards were about to begin.

“alright, before we get started, a few announcements. keep your acceptance speeches short.” tanaka said, wagging his finger around so everyone got the point. “i have wrap it up music, and i'm not afraid to use it, people!”

ukai took the microphone out of tanaka’s hand despite his protest and forced him off the stage, getting the night properly started. “thank you tanaka for that, and thank you all for coming to the 2023 miyagi awards night! i am your host, keishin ukai. let’s all have some fun tonight!”

everyone clapped, and ryo simply couldn’t stand to be there a moment longer. he looked at his surroundings to see if anyone would notice him leaving, but he thought screw it and decided to just straight up get out.

“i’m leaving.” he said quietly in your ear. “find your own way home.”

“fine by me.” you reply.

ryo shook his head in annoyance. “god, you’re such a bitch, y/n.”

your jaw dropped as you watched ryo leave the restaurant. you knew no one else heard what he said, but you wished someone did so they could see why you were in such shock right now.

“oh man, ryo, don’t go, aw no, come on—” ukai said on ryo’s way out, letting out a chuckle once he saw him head through the exit. “whew, thank god.”

all of your coworkers laughed, and you covered your face with your hands in embarrassment. at least last time you met your fate towards the end of the night, not right at the beginning. this was already off to a horrendous start.

to come to your rescue, suga slinked out of his chair and walked over to the empty seat next to you. “this seat taken?”

you uncover your eyes and see suga, your knight in shining armor. he always came to you when you needed him most, didn’t he? “uh, not anymore, no.”

“great.” he grinned and sat down. “someone else will have to babysit carrot top and mr. simpleton idiot tonight.”

why did suga have to make the whole feelings thing so hard for you? he just had to be perfect in every way, the complete opposite of your asshole fiancé. he always treated you like porcelain, and if that’s what you were, then ryo had shattered you a long time ago. but as much as that sick and twisted part of you deep down wanted suga, you knew you couldn’t have him. it was wrong.

as the night moved along, a waitress walked up to your table to take your order, just what you needed. if you were going to spend this night with suga and potentially be made a running joke, you needed reinforcements in the form of intoxicating liquid. there was no way you could get through tonight sober, as sad as it sounded.

“can i get you two something to drink?” the waitress asked politely.

“two of the strongest drink you have.” you reply.

“alright, i’ll be right back—” she began to say before you cut her off.

“oh no, that’s just for me.” you say with out hesitation. suga’s eyes widened as a result, his concern evident.

•••

“is y/n okay? do any of you know what’s up with her?” suga asked.

of course they knew, but it’s not like they were going to spill, especially considering they would be fired if they ruined such a slow burn. the producers knew full well they had a glorious storyline unfolding on their hands, and none of the crew members were allowed to directly stir the pot.

“nothing?” he groaned. yup, not a peep from them. “you have to know something. god, you guys suck.”

the camera crew took that personally.

•••

the distributing of the awards went smoothly so far. no complete and utter humiliation happened yet, so it was safe to say nothing was terribly wrong. while ukai’s awards were almost always at least slightly offensive, some of them were actually kind of funny.

“alright, y’all. this award goes to someone who is quite literally scared of everything.” ukai began. “i mean, they freak out when a fly is in the room. so, the award for “biggest scaredy cat” goes to… hitoka yachi!”

everyone did the typical applause, and kiyoko giggled at yachi while she went up to get her award. on the way up to the stage, she received a high five from yamaguchi, her cheeks slightly burning red as a result. however, her blush quickly faded when she received her little trophy.

“um, this says “biggest scaredy rat”…” she spoke up.

“ignore that.” ukai said.

before yachi had a chance to speak another word, tanaka played his “wrap it up” music that he threatened everybody with earlier. “i didn’t even give a speech!”

“we’re on a time crunch!” tanaka yelled harshly.

“but i…” yachi pouted as she accepted defeat and walked off the stage.

“it’s okay, yachi.” yamaguchi tried to comfort her.

“thanks, yamaguchi.” she sighed.

“i’m shocked you didn’t get that award considering you look like the rat from flushed away.” tsukishima snickered while yamaguchi gawked at his savage comment.

“what?!”

while that was going on, you were downing drink after drink. you weren’t even counting anymore. no thoughts, head empty; just the way you wanted it to be. you figured this was the only way to feel good about yourself with the way your life is going, so you thought so be it.

after finishing yet another drink, you slammed the glass down onto the table and raised your fists into the air. “y’all know what dj khaled said!”

“anotha one?” suga replied hesitantly.

“anotha one!” you exclaim.

“okay, let’s settle down.” cough. “y/n.”

“are you still drinking that?” you ask suga.

“um—”

“great, thanks.” you interrupt suga and take his beer, giving him no room to protest. he wanted to tell you to relax on the drinks, but he found it hard to do so. would it come off the wrong way? maybe, so suga had to bite his tongue while you got drunk. you weren’t the only one drinking anyway, but you might be the only one drinking to this extent.

once you were quiet, ukai began to announce the next award. “this next award is one that’s never been done before. gasp, am i right? why are none of you gasping?”

crickets.

“anyway, this award goes to someone who’s built like a greek god and is always rocking a gorgeous man bun.” he said, making it all so obvious. “the “office beefcake” award goes to… asahi the temp!”

asahi looked to the camera in shock.

•••

“what’s… what’s a beefcake?” he asked in disbelief, hoping someone could grant him an answer, but he was left with nothing. “is it like, um, a cake made of beef? a beef made of cake? wait, that doesn’t even make sense…”

one of the crew members pulled up the definition on their phone and handed it to him. when asahi read it over, his eyes widened. “oh...”

•••

“this award… is no contest.” ukai said. from the way he started speaking, you thought the award was for you, but thankfully it wasn’t. “i ask myself this all the time, how can one possess such a hair color without dyeing it?”

“ugh, come on.” tsukishima rolled his eyes. “we already know it’s an award for hinata.”

ukai couldn’t even get that mad. it was his most unoriginal award ever. a painfully obvious one too. “yeah, come up here, ginger.”

hinata rushed onto the stage as happy as he could be, but his smile quickly went away when he read out his award. “most orange hair? not again!”

kageyama hollered out into a fit of laughter, probably the only employee who found this hilarious. any chance to laugh at hinata, he would take, but he sure wouldn’t get the last laugh once ukai was done with him.

“well, kageyama, since you find that so funny, let’s give out your award.” he said then went to look for the trophy. “where is it… ah, it’s the “tight ass” award!”

“but that went to tsukishima last year!” kageyama stood defiantly.

“well, guess what? there’s a new tight ass in town!” ukai cackled.

tsukishima laughed his ass off. he wouldn’t have been mad if he received the same award, but this… this was the greatest potential outcome. this may just end up being the best awards night ever. that is, if everyone is happy by the end of it.

all while tsukishima laughed, kageyama gave him the death glare, but it wasn’t long before he switched his gaze onto ukai, who joined in on the laughter.

•••

“how’s the award, kageyama?”

“i’m gonna shove it where the sun don’t shine and show ukai who the REAL tight ass is.” he said through gritted teeth. it was safe to say no one should speak to him for the rest of the night.

•••

it was halfway through the night, and after so many awards had been given out, it was time to relax a little bit. unfortunately, ukai’s idea of “relaxing” wasn’t what any of your pictured.

“now, it’s time for a brief intermission…” he spoke into the microphone. “one where i will be singing bring me to life by evanescence with tanaka.”

“oh my god.” kiyoko’s eyes widened. she couldn’t handle this right now. it’s too much.

“kiyoko’s got a crush…” daichi teased, gently nudging her shoulder while yachi tried to pull him away to stop.

“daichi, don’t—”

“i’m just poking fun!” he raised his hands in the air defensively.

“shut your trap, daichi.” kiyoko said lowly.

“that doesn’t work on me like it works on tanaka and nishinoya.” daichi said with full confidence before kiyoko gave him the death glare, which immediately made him cower down. “but that does.”

meanwhile, you’re sipping on an empty glass through a straw, and suga couldn’t help but take notice to it. “uh, i think that might be empty, y/n.”

“no, no, no. when the ice melts it’s just like a second drink!” you giggle before letting out a loud hiccup.

“lemme just…” suga tried taking the glass out of your hands, but you fought against it, so he gave up. “nevermind.”

suga’s concern only grew more and more. not just towards you, but also to the horrendously off-key performance ukai and tanaka were putting on right now. at least the “god, please help me” face on kiyoko had while she covered her ears was funny.

“WAKE ME UP!”

“WAKE ME UP INSIDE!”

“I CAN’T WAKE UP!”

“WAKE ME UP INSIDE!”

“SAVE ME!”

suddenly, wadded up napkins were pelted at ukai and tanaka, but it wasn’t their coworkers who did such a thing. it was the other poor customers in the restaurant who just wanted to have a nice meal.

“you guys SUCK!” a random guy yelled, crushing both ukai’s soul and his confidence, so he pressed pause on the music, which confused tanaka.

“hey, why’d you stop?” he questioned, ready to keep going despite the haters.

“i’m not feeling it anymore.” ukai shrugged. “we should just cut this short, you guys. just enjoy your food and stuff.”

cut this short? oh no, no, no. you didn’t get drunk for nothing! if ukai was going to put you to shame once again, you sure weren’t going to be sober for it this time around.

“wait, where’s my award?!” you whined. “i didn’t get one!”

“yeah, me too!” suga chimed in to help your case. he too didn’t put on all that work convincing ukai for nothing. neither of your efforts shall be in vein.

“anotha one! anotha one! anotha one!” you began to chant, suga joining in before the rest of your coworkers did too “come on, everybody!”

the chant went on for a few more seconds before ukai finally gave in, but you would soon live to regret your previous decision. “okay, fine! since you asked so nicely… this next award goes out to none other than our lovely receptionist, y/n.”

all of your drunkenness quickly faded into sober realization as you brace for what’s to come. suga could only hope his earlier conversation with ukai actually worked.

“i think we all know what award y/n is going to get this year…” a dramatic pause, it’s killing you. why does ukai love those so much? “it’s the “dairy queen” award! because she’s always eating yogurt without blowing up the bathroom afterwards!”

you instantly gasp and look over to see the proud smile on suga’s face. you have no clue he took part in this for your sake, but you’re just too elated to think right now. you couldn’t believe this was happening in the best way possible. finally, you weren’t the butt of the joke, and it was absolutely glorious.

“come on down, y/n!” ukai said as you got out of your chair—still in shock—and walked up to the stage for your award, one you were actually excited to receive.

“oh my god!” you say as you grab the microphone out of ukai’s hands to give a speech. “i have so many people to thank for this award.”

“first off, shoutout to my supreme tolerance for lactose, i’m just really built different.” you began. “uh, let’s give ukai a round of applause for being our mc tonight because this is a lot harder than it looks. and also because of tanaka too.”

you watched as everyone clapped, but your eyes were fixed on suga for a brief moment as he watched you in complete and utter amazement. you didn’t know if it was the alcohol, but you sure felt on top of the world right now.

“and um, finally, i want to thank god. because god gave me this award…” you pause before saying nine words that nobody will ever let you live down, but you didn’t care. “and i feel god in this chili’s tonight. WOO!”

“y/n l/n, ladies and gentlemen!” ukai exclaimed as you gave him a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, making him blush “oh! thank you…”

you return to your seat and instantly wrap your arms around suga. he’s taken aback at first, but returned your embrace and found himself lingering against your touch longer than he should. you let go of the hug and jump up and down in excitement, forcing suga to join you, and does so happily.

•••

“i think this might just have been the best awards night ever.” suga said to the camera. in all honesty, it was your happiness that made it this way. “we got a killer evanescence cover, which is always awesome. asahi is the office beefcake now, pretty bummed it’s not me. kageyama dethroned tsukishima, which was a total shocker, in my opinion. and uh, you’re the dairy queen.”

suga looked over to you and saw that you were staring at him while continuously nodding. “what?”

“nothing.” you smile. you were so drunk right now.

“okay.” he said before looking away. when suga turned his head again, you were still staring at him, and he could swear he saw hearts in your eyes. “what?!”

“nothing!” you start laughing uncontrollably and fall out of your chair, still laughing.

“oh my god, you are so drunk!” suga exclaimed as he rushed down to the floor to lift you back up, but ukai had a different idea in mind.

“oh fuck, she’s dead!”

“you’re not supposed to curse, ukai!” suga yelled at him.

“shut the fuck up, suga!” he yelled back.

•••

“was this year's awards night a success?” ukai repeated the documentary crew’s question. “well, let's see. i made y/n laugh so hard that she fell out of her chair, and she almost broke her neck, so i killed… almost.”

•••

after the whole falling out of your chair ordeal, you and ukai ended up banned from the establishment. you walked out of the place with suga, who had his eye on you incase your body threatened to let you fall again. you notice the cameras are on you on your way out, and with your trophy in hand, you yell to the camera.

“i just want to say… that this was the best night ever! WOO!” you say before tripping over your own feet.

“woah, careful!” suga quickly caught you, your eyes lingering onto each other’s gaze.

“…thank you.” you step away from suga’s gentle grasp. you really were porcelain, weren’t you?

the silence afterwards engulfed you both. your drunken mind was telling you to kiss him, but the part of you that started to sober up screamed no. you couldn’t. you can’t ruin this one good thing that’s yours.

“hey, how are you getting home tonight?” suga asked to break the silence.

“i, uh, didn’t think that part through.” you let out a dry laugh. you defiant behavior towards ryo earlier may have been a mistake as you knew he wouldn’t be here to pick you up later, but you always had suga to count on.

“well, i can take you home.” he offered. “didn’t exactly drink enough to get tipsy considering you kept stealing my drinks.”

“heh, sorry about that…” you look away, embarrassed over your previous behavior.

“actually, i wanted to ask you something…” suga paused, trying to figure out how to put it into words. “um, are you… doing okay? you seemed upset after ryo left.”

“i’m uh…” you hesitate, your head swirling. i’m harboring conflicting feelings for you despite being engaged to another man, you think to yourself, but you knew you couldn’t say that out loud. “i’m doing just fine.”

it wasn’t what suga wanted to hear, but he just had to accept it. “oh, okay. let’s get you home then.”

one way or another, sugawara koushi would be the death of you.

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mxtantrights · 5 months

Text

famous dc!au (dick's version)

TRACK THIRTEEN: THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU / WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG

"Hi." you say.

Dick smiles, "Hi."

He goes to say something but the crowd is a bit too loud for any of his words to be made out by you. He laughs sheepishly and points behind him, towards something. You nod you head, not really knowing what he was pointing at.

Then he's taking your hand and leading you through the sudden flood of people. You can't help to look down at your intertwined fingers and you feet keep following after him.

You walk and walk together, until you reach a closed door. Dick opens it and leads you inside first. Then he walks in and closes it behind him.

As soon as the door clicks shut the noise outside is muted considerably. Dick smiles at you again.

"Hi." he says.

You chuckle to yourself, "You already said that. So have I."

"Did we? It was kinda hard to hear out there. What are all those people here for anyways?" Dick jokes.

"Some guy wrote a song." you add on.

Dick laughs at first. And you do too. But you find that his laughter dies a bit too soon. You wonder if you came off as mean or passive. It was an amazing song, he should be applauded. Maybe he's sensitive about his work.

"I'm sorry, that was-" you begin.

But Dick cuts you off, "It's okay. I know you were just teasing, but it is why I brought you here."

You look around the room, "You brought me to this room to talk about the song?"

"Yeah, I needed somewhere private to tell you this." he says.

This was it. You think to yourself this is when he cuts you loose. He's going to tell you that he's with Zantana and the song is about her and that he doesn't like you in that way. God you probably looked like one sick puppy dog to him.

God you feel pathetic. Maybe you should just tell him yourself. Get a clean break. If it is the end, you want to be in charge of your own destiny.

"Listen can I go first?" you ask.

Dick stops and nods his head once.

"I want you to know that when I first met you, it was strictly professional. I mean yes I thought you were attractive and really kind, but I saw you as my boss. And then the lines became blurred- but not in a bad way. I liked it."

"Liked?" Dick asks.

"I mean, well it's changed. I've changed. I have strong feelings for you. Stronger than like." you explain.

Dick just looks at you. Your mind is racing a thousand thoughts per second. Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he think that lowly of you? Why isn't he saying anything? Did you make a mistake? Should you have never said anything?

"I think I'm falling for you..." Dick trails off.

Your eyes widen.

Oh.

That's not what you were expecting. At all.

"The song is about you. You're my comet. It's your laugh at the beginning." he goes further.

You can't help the smile on your face. You knew it. You knew that laugh was familiar, you knew you weren't delusional in thinking that. You his your smile behind your hand.

"Is that-I mean I didn't clear that with you first, I realize that might come off as a invasion of privacy and-" Dick rambles.

You remove your hand from your mouth.

"Dick." you say.

"And I don't want to put you in a uncomfortable position. I never wanted to do that, that's why I was kinds hoping you wouldn't take the job because then I could ask you out. Which in hindsight-"

"Hindsight sucks. I'm glad you told me now." you cut him off again.

"You are?" he asks.

You nod your head vigorously, "I mean tonight I promised myself I would tell you that I had these feelings for you. And if it ended badly I would have left Hollywood altogether."

"You would have left? I'm sorry I feel like I keep asking you questions." Dick speaks.

"It's okay. And yeah. I mean the first video you offered the job for was my last option. You're the whole reason I stayed in Hollywood."

"And I could have been the reason you left." he added.

"Well, it didn't turn out that way did it." you asked rhetorically.

"No, no it didn't." he smiles, widely.

"I wanna go out on a date with you." you say quickly.

Dick laughs, "I was just about to ask you out."

"Oh good, I can't take too much suspense. I have all this tension in my shoulders." you explain with a sigh.

Dick takes a tentative step towards you, and you then take a step towards him. You two do this until you two meet in the middle. Dick cups the side of your face.

"It's you." he says.

"Me?" you ask.

What was he talking about? You were confused about where this conversation was going. You had no clue what he was talking about.

"The greatest sight I've ever seen. You asked, when we first met. And I know I said the jellyfish at the aquarium were one of the greatest, but I was lying. It's you." he explains.

You can feel the heat move all the way through your body. From your cheek sand your fingertips to your knees and your belly. You can't help the Cheshire smile that grows on your mouth.

"Wow." you whisper.

"That's what I said." he says.

You put the mail down on the counter. Today was fairly eventful. The kids at the art center age you a run for your money. Who knew that kids could take better pictures than adults? I mean, you knew but you really couldn't expect how good they would be.

"How was work?"

You smile, "It was good handsome. How was work for you?"

Dick comes from your bedroom. He was no doubt still lounging in bed and getting work done. The graphics of the next music video were something he wanted to be fully immersed in. He wanted to direct his own music video this time around.

He sighs, "Good but my muse left me all alone."

You laugh, "I have to work in order to maintain your lifestyle."

Dick drastically sighs, "This would be a lot easier if you let me just spoil you."

"Noooo, not happening. We just started dating." you answer.

"So what you're waiting for the six month mark to ask for my Amex?" Dick jokes.

You almost choke on your own spit. You take off you shoe and throw it his way. You knew he would dodge it anyways, but you didn't really throw it at him.

"You practically live in my house, you know?" you ask.

"I know, I figure I should get used to it because my place is just not as homely." he says.

"Is that the word you'd use? Hmm. Interesting." you joke.

Dick doesn't want to talk anymore. He rushes over to you and envelopes you in a hug. You can hear him sniff at your head. The first time he did it had you confused for hours but now it's like water running, or the blue sky. You expect it.

He pulls away and pecks your lips.

"Welcome home, eighth wonder of the world."

You snicker at his name choice, "You've got to work on the nickname."

"I've got forever to work on it. Don't worry."

#Dick Grayson x reader #famous dc! au (dick's version)#dc x reader #dc imagine #dc fanfic #Dick Grayson imagine #Dick Grayson fanfic #Dick Grayson #dc

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onboardsorasora · 6 months

Text

I've been writing this since I posted Part 10. @hitgirl0707 thanks for outlining this with me. It's almost 2k words, it's like I couldn't stop myself. *singing like Haley Williams* how did we get here?? Our liddol crackfic got a mind of its own guys!

Part 1 | Part 10

Part 11

To say Max didn’t sleep a wink was an understatement. He was worried. Those idiots better have taken care of Daniel. He was going to kill them maybe.

Finally, early in the morning he got a message to the groupchat from Lando that they were back at his place and Daniel was sleeping. Lando even sent a photo of Daniel curled up in his cat nest still in his party clothes sans shoes. Sassy was sniffing his hair and Jimmy was curled in his chest.

Max knew a drunken pass out when he saw one and just knew Daniel was going to have a killer hangover later. He was so annoyed, so mad. But he was relieved because Daniel was home at Max’s and he looked no worse for wear.

He was able to sleep a little and woke up early before his next meeting with Christian and Adrian. He spam texted Lando until he responded– the message was unintelligible, but all that mattered was that he answered.

He tried calling Daniel but it didn’t seem like he was going to answer. He was about to hang up when the facetime connected and he was greeted with Sassy’s face sniffing the screen. She chirped at him, a sound he was getting used to.

“Hey Sassy Girl, did you answer the call? Smart girl!” He praised, getting a mrow in return. Sassy eventually shifted from the phone and he saw Daniel was laying curled on his side with his arms over his eyes. Sassy sniffed and licked his forehead a little and he groaned pitifully in response.

“Daniel, how are you feeling?” Max asked softly but the worry was there. Daniel shifted his hand and Max could see a peak of nose and soft brown eyes.

“Maxy?” Daniel whined and Max’s heart clenched.

“Daniel, I’m here.”

“...hurts.” Daniel mumbled and tried to shuffle to get comfortable again but groaned instead. Jimmy bumped his head against Daniel’s arm.

“Daniel, you need to drink some water and some electrolyte juice, maybe. You’ll feel better, I think.”

“No…” Daniel murmured and sniffled and Max’s grip on his phone tightened. He was going to kill his friends.

“Daniel, it's the only way you’ll feel better. I promise.”

Max didn't have time to continue to beg Daniel to get up and ingest anything. He needed to head out if he didn't want to be late. He whispered apologies and told Sassy and Jimmy to continue to look after Daniel, he ended the call after hearing what sounded suspiciously like a whined ‘miss you Maxy’. He wasn’t allowing himself to acknowledge it, Daniel wasn’t coherent right now.

Max was clearly unsettled, Christian noticed and pulled him aside after the first meeting. He’d kept checking his phone, he received no messages from Daniel and the messages in the group chat weren't confidence inspiring.

"What's going on Max?" Christian was looking at him concerned. "Is everyone alright?"

"I need to leave." Max was blunt, Christian got more worried.

"Why what's wrong?"

With a sigh, Max explained everything. How Daniel was magical adept and was staying with him. And how he might be sick and no one was available to take care of him.

"You can't just leave because your friend is hungover Max." Christian rolled his eyes.

"Christian you don't understand. He couldn't even answer my calls. Sassy answered the phone. I know how it sounds but you have to believe me."

Christian didn't look moved at all and Max felt his heart sink into the pits of his stomach. His phone rang, Lando was calling him– finally.

"Lando! Please give me good news?"

"So like, Sassy keeps chirping. What does that mean?" Lando sounded pathetic on the other line. No doubt he wasn't going to drink again for another year.

"What do you mean? What else is she doing?" Max watched as Christian raised an eyebrow.

"Well she kinda led me to the cat nest. Daniel's still asleep I think. But Sassy keeps chirping at me and sniffing Daniel's hand."

"I dunno mate. Check his tattoos, maybe?"

Max watched as Lando's head moved off camera, he could hear Sassy's chirps; they didn't sound promising. Max tried to hold onto his fear, especially which Christian watching his every response.

"Uhm." Lando's voice squeaked with panic. "The rose looks pretty pale. Is that supposed to happen? It's pretty droopy too."

Lando's panicked eyes engulfed the screen.

"Show me!" Max demanded and bit his lip when the camera flipped again and Lando wrenched back Daniel's sleeve to show his tattoo that was indeed pale and sick looking. Christian looked over his shoulder and together they watched as the rose lost a petal.

"Max what do I do???"

"Well I'll be damned." Christian murmured in shock.

"Christian, I need to go." Max tried again, hoping some form of proof of urgency would help.

Christian sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Fix this then come back."

Turns out, travelling is still a nightmare even if you have your own plane. Things like clearance and pulling staff from days off became a hindrance. But what was the point of being rich if you couldn’t throw money at your problems? And that’s how Max was on his way home.

Max was livid, and he let his ire be known in the group chat. Lando was groveling with memes, Charles said sorry (it was more like ‘sprrh’ but the spirit was there). And Alex was trying to recreate a timeline of events.

None of that, however, made his dread any less when he received a text message from Michelle. It was just a link and ‘???????’. Which could never be good.

And it wasn’t. Because on his screen was a video of Daniel’s rose blooming and glowing with strobe lights and EDM blaring in the background. The caption was pretty simple, expressing shock at the moving tattoos and you could hear Daniel giggling in the background. They didn’t show his face thankfully.

Max groaned, because fuck.

He didn’t need to look at the views or likes to know that this video had gone viral; how else would Michelle have seen it on the other side of the world? The phone rang in his hand and he answered it while dragging his other hand down his face.

“Max, what the fuck?!” Michelle was, reasonably, upset. It was painful to explain that he hadn’t been there and that Daniel was suffering. He could see the distress and distrust churning in her eyes. Eventually she let him go after he promised updates, it took nothing less than actual vows for her to believe him.

When he finally made it home, he truly didn’t know what to expect. The cats welcoming him back with loud meows and chirps were not it. He followed them to the cat nest where Daniel still layed, there was a bottle of water and gatorade sweating beside him but both were unopened.

“Oh Daniel.” Max cooed, kneeling on the outside of the blankets and pillows. Daniel still hid his face from presumably the brightness of the living room. Max looked around, unable to locate Lando, which was probably for the best right now.

“Maxy…?” Daniel murmured, pained and unsure.

“I’m here. Can you drink some water for me?”

“Maxy, hurts so bad.” Daniel’s voice wobbled. Max’s heart clenched.

“I know Daniel, but you need to drink. You’ll feel better.” Daniel groaned pitfully and Max sighed. He crawled into the cat nest and gently maneuvered Daniel to rest against him. Daniel buried his face into Max’s chest, nuzzling his sternum. “If you drink some for me, you can go back to sleep and I’ll order pizza. Does that sound good?”

Daniel hummed and Max proceeded to help him drink half the bottle of water and half the gatorade.

“What about your work?” Daniel rasped and Max waved him off, they didn’t need to talk about that. Lando came out of the powder room then, looking like death warmed over. No doubt he had been praying to the porcelain gods.

“Max, you’re here! Thank god!” Lando sagged with relief and threw himself onto the couch. “Wait, how are you here?”

“Doesn’t matter–” Max cut himself off from saying that they had a problem. Even though they did. He shook his head and focused on the task at hand, which was taking Daniel to his bed in the guest room. They didn’t quite make it and hand to beeline for the toilet where Daniel pitifully released what remained churning in his stomach. It wasn’t a lot but his body didn’t know that apparently. Max petted his hair while he dryheaved and then helped him into the soft sheets after. The cats padded and curled around him worriedly, and Max took that as an ok to leave the room to talk to Lando, Sassy would get him if anything.

“Mate what the fuck?” Max hissed at Lando, who shrunk back into the couch to hide.

“Mate, I dunno. I’m sorry. We didn’t even leave him for too long.”

“Long enough!” Max pulled up the video and shoved it into Lando’s face. Lando paled further and looked like he was about to be sick again.

“Well, fuck.”

“All you had to do was keep him company, Mate. That isn’t so fucking hard. For fuck’s sake man!” Max ranted, dragging his hand through his hair in agitation.

“He thought you were like his ex! Who was super controlling and wouldn’t let him go anywhere without him!” Lando cut in, Max froze.

“What?”

“Yeah, when I told him we weren’t going he got all sad and stuff, Mate. You can ask Alex and Lily, started talking about how he thought you were good. I defended your honour by the way! Thankyouverymuch-ow” Lando cradled his head in his hand.

“His ex was controlling?” Max whispered, the clench in his chest was back.

“Yeah, apparently he didn’t want Daniel singing. And Daniel had to stay home when he was gone. Couldn’t go anywhere. He was so upset Max, we couldn’t not go.”

“I’m not mad you went out, I don’t care about that. I’m mad he was left alone and got drunk. Who knows what else could have happened. What if someone slipped him something? What if more than this video is on the internet?!” Max was pissed, he wanted to teleport to Perth and meet this ex, he just only wanted to talk. Truly.

But he couldn’t do that so he had to settle for yelling at Lando.

“I’m sorry…” it was faint and both men turned around to see Daniel leaning against the wall in the hallway. He looked pitiful and sad, maybe a bit withdrawn.

“Daniel– you should–”

“I’m sorry– I should have known better. I shouldn’t have– Sassy says you don’t normally come back so quickly. I messed up your plans again didn’t I?” Daniel sagged against the wall. Max rushed over to help him with wide eyes. Lando stayed on the couch– once again out of his depth.

“Daniel–”

“I’m so sorry Max! I didn’t mean to, I promise! Please don’t be mad.”

Max grabbed Daniel’s shoulders, dipping his head to look into Daniel’s sad downturned eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I came back because I wanted to take care of you. I’m not mad at you, I promise.” Max held his pinky between them.

Daniel searched his eyes for a moment, staring deep into Max’s soul with his haunted brown cow eyes. Before he hesitantly raised his own pinky and hooked them together.

Part 12

#how did we develop a plot and subplots out of this????#how did we get here???#maxiel #max/daniel #enchanted au #disney princess dan

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igotanidea · 1 year

Text

Blip: Matt Murdock x fem!reader

Summary: Matt disappeared during the blip, leaving Y/N alone. Being broken and desperate at first, soon enough the girl turned into her own kind of villain, going by name Darkness. And then, miraculously someone came back from the quantum realm with the possibility to turn this shitty situation around.

The reader is (was) a part of Avengers, previously called the Shadow with powers to control... well, the shadows. Literally and figuratively (like the shadows in people's mind and/or past). Imagine something like Darkling from the Shadow nad Bone. A snippet of her story is here(prologue) and here (chapter 1). I need some action on those to continue the story .

A/N: this story is for my favorite @somest1 - THANK YOU! Hope your back is better now, girl :) And hope you'll enjoy.

3 years ago

I woke up screaming my lungs out, springing from the bed, shaking like in fever and with tears in eyes.

I just had the worst nightmare ever.

Only it was not a nightmare, but a brutal reality.

Thanos gathered all the infinity stones and erased half of the population of the Earth. I was lucky I was spared. Soooo damn lucky. I get to live my life and move on a day to day basis.

Yeah…. I was so fucking lucky.

Matt wasn’t.

He just turned into dust right in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could have done. One second he was standing next to me and the other was just gone. Like he never existed.

And I was reliving this scene in my head every night. Screaming, sweating, never getting enough sleep to actually rest. My mind was spinning and I found myself losing any motivation to live. Foggy and Karen blipped as well so I was completely alone.

Ok, maybe that was a bit of exaggeration. After all, I had my avengers friends.

Steve was running some therapy group and after everything that happened, one day out of the blue, he just showed up at my door, wanting to check if I was alright.

I was not. Obviously.

I opened the door, dressed in Matt’s favorite old hoodie, which was way too big for me since I lost a lot of weight due to the stress with puffy eyes and nose and cheeks red from extensive crying. I was pathetic.

“Y/N….” Steve’s voice broke the moment he laid eyes on me

“I…. I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Why are you sorry?” he immediately pulled me into the bear hug. He was not Matt, but his strong arms gave me a little bit of comfort “I should be the one apologizing. I should have come to you earlier”

“No.” I shook my head abruptly, pulling myself closer to him “you have enough on your head. I would just be…..”

“Don’t say it.”

“…. a burden.”

“I told you not to say it.” He muttered “Hey, look at me” involuntarily I raised my head to look him in the eyes “you’re not alone, ok? Not anymore. I’m taking you with me.”

“Where?”

“To a safe place. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.”

“Who’s we?” I frowned

“You’ll see” he smiled and urged me to gather the most important things.

2 years ago

In my defense, I tried to learn lessons from Steve’s group meetings. I really did. But soon sitting on my ass, doing nothing but finding joy in little things got me fed up. I transformed from the little, scared and pathetic girl into a violent, vindictive woman. I bet it was those shadows in me that I tried to suppress for way to long. So after a couple of months I decided to let them out. From what I heard, Clint was raging his personal vendetta (since he lost all of his family as well) and I was considering joining him.

One day, I just found him on the street in some Japanese city, running around in some new suit, using blades and knifes instead of his characteristic bow and arrows. There were dead bodies and blood all over him and his face was twisted in both anger and pain.

“So, you are the Ronin? I heard about you.” I whispered standing behind his back, careful not to stamp on any of the people he killed

“I give you ten seconds to explain exactly who you are and why are you here.” He hissed

“Clint.”

“Y/N?” he turned around facing me “You’re alive?”

“I don’t know if that’s the right word to describe it.” I whispered when he hugged me briefly “I heard, what happened to you. I am so, so sorry Clint.”

“If you came here to ask me to stop……”

“No.”

“No? So, it wasn’t Cap or Nat with their big ideals and …..?”

“No. I don’t share their approach anymore.”

“Anymore. So you did before? What changed?”

“The anger. The pain. The fear” I shrugged “The sense of unfairness.”

“You lost him.” He stated simply. Clint never met Matt, but he heard me talk about him back in the Shield and Avengers days. We were close enough to let him in on that secret.

I just nodded, not able to say a word.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“I know. I know you know how it feels.”

“You came a long way here, didn’t you? Let me take you to my place. It’s not much, but you can spend the night there.”

“Thanks. I… I actually came to ask for advice.”

“Ask for advice?” he laughed sarcastically “Me? Not a really good role model, am I?” he motioned towards the bloody stains on the streets.

“Not like this.” I shook my head “I need to know how do you remember. How do you not let those little memories of people you loved slip away.” I looked straight into his face, now shocked and so vulnerable “I’m starting to forget Clint. And I don’t want that.”

“Let’s go. I’ll tell you all you want, just not here.”

1 year ago

I had some lessons from Cap and some from Clint, but never really found my place with them. So I was riding solo like a villain now. I learned how to control my shadows like never before, maybe it was because they were always a part of the dark side of me which I now embraced fully. When I was pretending to be good, acting good, they were so much harder to contain. When I dropped the act and let the darkness in, they became an extension of my own being. I wasn’t just the Shadow anymore. I was going by The Darkness now. Not a killer, not a hero, but someone to be afraid of. I get back to Hell’s kitchen becoming the fright of every criminal in the city. Beating them up, leaving all of them defenseless, controlling all the transfers and dirty transactions. Never killing them though. I was not like Clint and murdering them would not bring me any satisfaction, that one I was sure of. Instead, my point was to make them afraid. Constantly. Scared that if they make one false move the Darkness would come straight at them. I wanted them to have sleepless nights, full of nightmares just like I did before. I wanted them shitting their pants just at the mere mention of my name. I wanted them looking back in fear I was hiding in the darkness where they could not see me. Truth be told, some of those cowards died because of a heart attacks caused by constant terror.

I got exactly what I wanted.

I got Hell’s kitchen in the palm of my hand. Cleaning it from the scumbags just like Matt always tried to. Just like he wanted to. But sometimes, just sometimes, I was wondering if he would recognize me under all those dirty things I did. Would he want to be with a villain? Or would that be too much for my catholic boyfriend and his work ethics?

Flashback

“Do you think we can ever make this city safe?” I was looking through the window onto the empty, silent street. Of course all the drama was happening underground. “Like, can we actually clear it from all the crime, criminals, pain and fear?”

“No. No, I don’t think so. Sad thing about it is that crime is like a hydra. You cut one head of it and two new grow back.” He hugged me from behind, his chest to my back, hands on my waist, chin on my arm.

“Then why are you still fighting? Isn’t it futile? And it sounds a bit hypocritical. I mean, you beat the shit out of the villains, risking your own health. And mine. And you have no hope it will get better?”

“I never said that” he spun me around so now I was facing him in the dark. I was facing Daredevil, in his suit, arguably the most dangerous person in Hell’s kitchen explaining his action “don’t try to outsmart a lawyer” he smirked and I did the same “I said we cannot eradicate crime. But we can fight for the good people. We can make this city better, safer. By doing good. Nothing will ever be perfect. No one….” He pulled me closer “wait, no, there’s one person who is perfect with her flaws, imperfections and insecurities. She’s the one who’s always positive in her quiet way, doing good and creating a safe space.”

“She?” I scoffed ”Matt, are you cheating on me?”

“You little silly kitten” he brushed his lips on my cheek and I closed my eyes. It’s been a while since we have an intimate moment like this “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mattie” I answered before he kissed me deeply conveying all his feelings for me.

End of flashback

So, would he love me the way I was now? Not so optimistic? Not creating safe space but running on terror and fright? Would he…..?

I quickly discarded those thoughts, though. He was gone. There was no point in wondering “what if”, it was bad for the mental health. I had to play with the cars I was given. And those weren’t exactly the good ones.

Now

I was called by Steve to the so-called headquarters. After all this time, he still believed there were a team to have such. Guess, he did not change that much.

“We need you.” he said over the phone

“Who’s we?” I joked, using the same phrase as 3 years ago when he found me in my apartment broken and crying the loneliness and pain away.

“You’ll see.” He smiled catching the reference at once.

“No, it won’t work this time, Steve. I’m not the same girl who buys into everything you say.”

“So, I’ve heard. You upgraded, right? I’m just not sure if you did it in the right direction.”

“ Are you disappointed now, Cap?” I smirked. I acted like I did not care, but truth be told, it pained me. I did what I did and there was no regret there, but hearing harsh words from him…..

“No. I’m not. You choose your own path, can’t blame you for that, even though it could have been a different one. But you’re still a part of the team. We have a chance to make things right, the right way. Will you come help?”

“Of course I will.” I muttered “and…. Steve?”

“Yes?”

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry.” Yeah, I lied. There was a bit of regret in me

“I know.”

***

“Scott? Holy shit, is that you?” I opened my eyes wide noticing the ant-man himself standing in the room, surrounded by the other members of the former Avengers .

“Hey there kiddo, long time no see.” He smiled brightly

“Yeah, um…. I guess. How are the ants? And how are you still…..?”

“Oh it’s a long story and ….”

“You’re late.” Clint walked right behind me patting my back making me jump as he smirked “we won’t be telling you this story for the second time.”

“Nice to see you too Clint. How’s Ronin doing?”

“Y/N.” Natasha came out of the room “it’s so good to see you again.”

“Hey, Nat. New haircut?”

“I didn’t really have much to do for the last couple years so can you blame a girl?”

“Not really. Is there someone else coming back from the grave? And why the fuck am I the last one to be called?”

“Um, cause you’re unstable kid. You’re the threat to this entire operation.”

“Well, talk about coming back from the dead. Hello, Stark.”

“Y/N.”

“Are you….um, you look pale.” Yeah, I know, not very intelligent response

“I spend some time in space, so that’s the effect on me.”

“Y/N!” before I realized what was happening I was being crashed in the embrace of Hulk. Bruce. Bruce who was now Hulk. Apparently he figured a way to make them both work together.

“You’re….. you’re crushing me Bruce” I panted and he let go “but nonetheless it’s good to see you.”

“Same kid. Now, since we have to move on pretty quick, how much do you know about the quantum physics?”

“Only as much as you taught me. Why?”

“That would be enough. Now listen….”

“How Is it that I’m the only one who doesn’t have a clue what is going on here?” some man, looking hangover, with dark glasses, long hair and matter beard burped from the corner

“Thor?” That was quite a surprise “what happened to you?!”

‘Lost the girl, lost the Kingdom, lost his brother. Blah, blah, blah, slippery slope. We’ve all been through it. Now can we stop this pity party and move on?” thankfully Rocket was quick to interfere before Thor really started the pity party. Not that I blamed him, he’s been through a lot.

Long story short, Scott found out that if we travel in time and space we can gather infinity stones and actually defeat Thanos. For good. So we studied the timelines, decided the best times to go back to, divided ourselves in teams and …. went back.

“See you in a minute” Nat smiled at us before we all disappeared.

I was travelling with Tony, Steve , Scott and Hulk. Despite some obstacles on the way (it can never be easy, right) we succeeded and came to present safe and sound. I frantically turned around checking if everyone were safe.

“Where’s Nat?” Clint managed to say next to me, not seeing our redhead friend.

Oh, shit.

Yes, we’ve been thought another loss. But we fought on. Having all the stones we get all the lost souls back. Loosing Tony on the way. He died a hero. After I paid my respect and said goodbye to everyone I returned to the Hell’s Kitchen. Hoping Matt would be back as well. Probably confused, not knowing what happened. Scott warned me that for those who blipped the time stopped so it would be like they never left.

“MATT?!” I yelled the second I opened the door to his apartment “MATT!? Are you there?”

“Y/N?” he emerged from the bathroom, confused expression on his face “Baby, what happened?”

“MATT!” I jumped right at him, making him grab my tights as I pulled him closer than possible. He really was back.

“Y/n? Not that I’m complaining, but……” he held me close and my heart was just racing hundred miles an hour.

“I missed you.” I muttered cupping his cheek lovingly

“Missed me? Baby, I’ve been in the bathroom for barely five minutes. “ he raised an eyebrow suspiciously “what are you up to?”

“Oh, right. I should probably explain this to you.”

“Explain what?”

“Nothing. Never mind. Later. Can you just kiss me? Please?”

“I don’t understand the rush but how can I refuse?” he leaned down, put a single strand of hair behind my ear, traced his fingers over my jaw (making me impatient with all those gestures) and finally pressed his lips onto mine. I melted into him instantly. I knew I missed him, but I never realized the scope of it. His touch and warmth, and the security I felt in his arms. His soft hair and his slight stubble. God! I locked my hands on his neck pulling him closer, not wanting him to stop.

“Someone’s desperate.” he smirked with playful glint in his eyes as his lips moved to my neck

“I….”

“Don’t deny. I can feel your heart racing.”

“I wasn’t going to deny.” I groaned when he found that soft spot.

“Do you need something more from me, baby? You just gotta ask, you know.”

Surprisingly even to myself I didn’t want more. I just needed to be in his arms, cuddling, holding him and letting him hold me, craving to just feel him next to me, not in the physical sense. And he did that, as we laid in bed in each other embrace, enjoying this moment as I explained to him everything that happened.

“Three years?” he asked, terrified “I’ve been gone for three years?”

“Yes.”

“And…. And you’ve been alone all this time?” his grip on my waist suddenly became stronger, one of his hand sneaking up my back pulling me closer to his chest.

“I was so lonely, Mattie, so freaking lonely.”

“Oh, my love.” He kissed my temple and then top of my head and then my cheek and nose, ultimately brushing his lips against mine “you poor little thing. I am so sorry.”

“You said as if it was your fault. You did not have anything to say in the matter. Might have as well been the other way round. It could have been me who disappeared.”

“I would go crazy without you.” he muttered, cupping my cheek and brushing his thumb over it, making me instantly lean into the touch “absolutely crazy. I would turn into Frank Castle with his personal vendetta.”

“Or like Clint Barton.”

“The guy you used to work with? Hawkeye?” he was fairly familiar with my Shield friends “what does he have to do with it?”

“Nothing. It’s in the past now. Can you kiss me again.”

“Stop asking. I’ve got three years to make up for, right? So trust me, you’re not leaving this apartment, this bed specifically, any time soon.”

“Mattie!” I giggled when he switched our positions so instead of my head on his chest I was now flat on my back, his toned body hovering over me.

“I will make up for all the lost time” he murmured closing the gap between us, the kissed quickly turning more and more heated, our hands wandering everywhere and soon we were both shirtless. “So… what do I do with you now…..?” he whispered against my collarbone.

Before I could answer there was a rather loud and frantic knock on the door.

“Who the hell….?” Matt hissed trying best to ignore the noises and focus on me.

“Matt? Y/N? Are you in there? What happened in this damn city?”

“Foggy!” I wriggled out of Matt’s arms, to which action he groaned and rushed to the door. “Foggy!” hugged my friend tightly “So good to see you. Is Karen all right? Have you seen her?”

“She’s on the way.” Foggy explained “but before she get here I suggest you put on some shirt. I;m not even asking what did I interrupt.”

“You always had bad timing” Matt hissed showing at the door and passing me his T-shirt.

“Well my bad timing saved your ass from trouble a couple times, so I’m not sorry. But now, can you explain to me what is “the blip”?

***

3 weeks later

“Y/N?” it was after hours and Matt was getting ready for his night patrol. This time I was joining him since we agreed my skills were far too good to go to waste. I guess one good thing coming from the blip was that I was finally acknowledged by my boyfriend.

“Yes, Mattie?”

“There are some rumors on the street. And since you’ve been here the last couple years maybe you could explain something to me.”

“Sure, honey. What did you hear?”

“Who is Darkness?” Oh shit. I was up for a lot of explaining.

@pinksirensong

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markzari · 1 year

Text

SARAPHIC | ᴍᴀʀᴋ ʟᴇᴇ

PAIRING | Demon au! Mark lee x reader

SYNOPSIS | You find out that the person your falling in love with is the one you've been looking for since you were younger and you used to be childhood friends but... something is different about him...

WC | 1.6K

WARNINGS | suggestive, angst, depression, blood, action, violence, child abuse, some fluff moments

A.N | Finally updating..

MARKZARI ©

PART TWO | PART THREE | PART ONE

Tuesday 8:43 am I looked over at the same boy again as I saw Renjun sit in his seat across from me. "How long are you going to stare at him?" I smacked his arm as I saw mark look over at us. I noticed that something was different about him. He looks away. I scoffed as I continued looking over at the board to see what the teacher was teaching.

"Today we will be having Partners! For this project you will be explaining this lesson so far as of as well as what you already knew before."

I blanked out hoping I would get Renjun or a random smart student but of course life was against me. "mark lee and __. Since you guys should've already got to know each other yesterday!" I gritted my teeth as Renjun laughed besides me. "Can I go use the bathroom.." the teacher nodded as I dashed out the class. I went outside to the roof as I wanted fresh air.

I sat at the edge of the roof I felt a force or air pushed me forward too much as someone grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?!" I turned and saw mark. "Did you not push me?.." he pulled me away from the edge as he looked at my arm. "I may not like you, but I wouldn't have a reason to push you. How did you get this bruise?" I looked at him in confusion as I looked at my arm and saw a big bruise.

He sighed and took me to the nurse as she just gave me some ointment to help it heal faster. "Thanks.." I said as we walked out the nurses office "yeah sure..." he said as he soon looked at me and walked away. I saw a guy come over to here and drag him outside.

I looked at him and he got dragged "what the fuck?.." - Here they were glaring into each others eyes. As his brother donghyuck shoved him into the wall outside of the school. Hands clawing into his neck, eyes beaming red. "I told you. You can't be around her. Do you not understand what our father could do to her? Are you really that dense?."

mark grips donghyuck's hand trying to get free. "How can I stay away from her when she doesn't remember? I will get her memories back and get her away from those demons. Our father is a pathetic monster. I won't let him near her. "

donghyuck lets him go as he fell to the ground and gasped for air. He snatched his face "If she gets hurt, don't say I didn't warn you."

donghyuck pushes him back to the wall and swung his bag over his body as his tongue fidgeted with his lip piercing out of habit and sighed as he walked away and he vanished.

Mark stayed on the ground, leaned up against the wall "You can't keep me away from her. She needs me just as much as I need her."

Time skip

I stayed at late after school finishing my project. Many students had already left and began packing up my bags to leave. I took my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the classroom. I was honestly surprised that they did not close the school yet.

I hurried through the door before I stayed the night there. As I was outside normally, I would go on the bus but of course since I stayed late working on my project alone, I missed it.

"No, I'm going home now. Stop being so scared. Ren, I know. Blah blah bad people are out at night. Yeah yeah. I have to go now, bye!"

I hung up and scoffed to myself "Not him acting like he cares about me-" I heard a scream and crying. "GET OFF OF ME PLEASE!!" They yelled.

I was confused on who was screaming during this hour.

I turned a corner and saw blood everywhere and a man with red hair biting something. I heard him spit blood out and wipe his mouth "bitter shit." I stepped forward to peak but stepped on a leaf. He slowly turn his head with a tilt.

There was blood slightly leaking from his mouth as he looked a me. Another guy with beauty marks stepped forward. "Come on. We don't have time for this."

I stayed frozen. I couldn't see the guys face clearly but I added one and two together. Red hair... maybe I should stop overthinking...

I remembered mark had texted me saying that he was busy and couldn't work on the project tonight.

the redheaded guy pulled up his hood and shoved past the other

"You can't be out here this late. You should be glad it was us. Go home." the other guy said to me as he pushed through and turned the corner, leaving the bodies and blood for all to see.

I looked back to them and they were gone. A thin gust of black wind slowly faded away.

I rubbed my eyes and let out all the air I was holding in, Thinking about what renjun said. "I need to go home.. Maybe that dumb ass was right.."

I went home and unlocked the door and was greeted with my surprisingly calm and collected mom.

"oh my gosh sweetie! Are you ok?"

I wanted to roll my eyes at her obvious faking but I just slowly nodded and told her everything.

She gave me a hug that seemed to hold no emotion. "You can't go out alone anymore. Go with your friend."

"renjun? No way. He is annoying."

She held my face "remember what I told you. I can only protect you if you listen to me."

Flashback

The little girl skipped down the side walk as the sun was slowly setting. She smiled and froze in her steps as she saw her friend.. Mark.. she was about to wave but he was with a tall man.. her smile slightly dropped and looked in confusion.

She quickly hid and listened to the conversation

"Who is that girl that you've been hanging around? Didn't I tell you to stay away from those annoying humans?" The man gripped the poor child's face and slapped him. The girl covered her mouth as hesitated to go help the boy that she could never admit she had a crush on but chose to stay hidden.

"Your brother listens to me better than you ever will. Your a brat and a cry baby. Grow up. Your older than your brother but you cry like a little girl."

The man scoffed and crouched down to the boy and grabbed his face again. The boy sniffs and stutters out a sentence "B-but she not human... I know she's not. She d-different.." The little girl looked in confusion but continued to stay silent.

The man chuckles and he tightens his grip on the boys face "This is my last warning. Next time ill go get her head myself. This is a promise"

The girl quickly ran back home to her mom and cried and told her everything. She hugged her and held her head. "its okay.. You need to stay away from that boy.. Okay? If you listen to me, I can always protect you.."

End of flashback

I nodded as I felt her grip on my face slightly tighten. She soon let go as I brushed past her to go to my room "goodnight."

I fell on my bed and prepared myself for another nightmare

I arrived at school and then my same boring routine as every other day. I walked into the school building and put my stuff away in my locker. from the corner of my eye, I saw that same cold redheaded boy, mark.

he was by himself putting your stuff away with the same bag, but I noticed something.. he had a type of charm...

it looked like mine but instead of an Angel it was a demon. I was going to squint to try to get a better look at it, but I soon saw him turning around.

So, I quickly close my locker grabbed my stuff and went to my first class, brushing past him in the hallway and I thought to myself “why is that charm so familiar?”

I sighed and pushed away my thoughts and sat down at my desk being greeted by the same annoying face.

“Hey. What took you so long? You walk like a sloth...” The same two shaded toned hair guy laughed “Renjun. I will smack you with this book.”

I huffed as I fell into the seat beside him. I promised myself that one day, I will change seats.

A few minutes later the teacher finally came in and began the lesson. Once again, mark was late. He soon walked to the back of the class and took a seat.

The teacher glanced but kept her mouth shut now if that were me, I would have detention especially if this were the 50th time week like him.

I sighed and continued to focus on the lesson.

Class finally ended and I made sure I was the first out the door I did not want to have to bump into anyone that I did not want to bump into.

However, at least that is what I wanted and of course you can never get what you want. As I was going out the door, I bumped into the one person I was not in the mood to see, Mark.

I groaned as I saw him about to walk away until I grabbed his arm “We need to work on our project. I have been doing most of it.” He looks back at me with a cold face and sighs

“Fine. Come over to my house later. I will send you the address. Also, you should stop staying at school late... It is not safe” If breaks out of the grip from my hand and walks back down the hallway.

“What? How does he know that I stay at the school late?..”

MARKZARI ©

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marzsbarsz · 7 months

Text

every star dies out eventually

another shot at klance

i feel like with the way i wrote this one, i have to explain it a bit

this is keith's inner monologue, with the "you" pronouns referring to lance

sorry if that's confusing i tried my best !

okay enjoy :-)

word count ; 906

warnings ; blood, death, "fuck" is said like 11 times, the gays never win !!

fuck.

how did it end this way?

how did i, my hoarse voice screaming to the stars, my scarred hands clutching the remains of what was once mine,

end up here?

my love, my sun, my stars, my soul,

more than a person, more than a teammate,

more than anything i could ever hope to describe,

here,

bleeding out in my arms,

in the ship full of my own people.

my own people, who caused this disgrace and tragedy of a moment.

i told myself,

“this is why you never should have fallen in love.

this is what fucking happens to people like you, keith kogane.”

and yet,

strangely i regret nothing.

“lance! are you okay?”

“we did it. we are a good team.”

you took my hand.

you were full of warmth. you were weak, you were all scratched up, your hair sticking out in different directions,

and yet,

you were the most beautiful, beautiful boy i had ever laid my eyes on.

that’s when i knew i fell for you.

–

your hand tugged at my sleeve.

“c’mon, keith, let’s go, let’s go!”

“i’m coming, lance, please shut the fuck up.”

jesus. please, please don’t ever shut up, lance. i love you too much. please.

–

your head resting on my chest, your ear pressed close to my heart, as i hear your soft snores and feel your warm breath as you sleep.

fuck, i need to feel that again. to feel your breath on my chest, to know that you’re still here. to know that you’re safe in my arms.

you’re the opposite of safe right now. you’re not fucking safe and there’s nothing i can do about it.

and i’m so sorry.

–

“you promise?”

your soft giggles echo through the empty training room, my arms wrapped around your waist, our foreheads pressed together.

“i promise, angel, always.”

even when i promised to protect you and stay with you, even in that moment…

i somehow knew i probably couldn’t keep that promise.

but i’d try. god, i’d try.

i’d fight for you until my knuckles bleed, until i could no longer stand on my own two feet, until my very last breath.

i never asked you to do the same for me.

–

“what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving? you’re just gonna- leave me f-for them…?”

your defeated voice broke out into heart wrenching sobs, unable to continue speaking. and honestly, i don’t think i could bear hearing anything more.

“i’m so sorry, angel. i have to. i’m so sorry.” that was all i could say as i took your trembling body in my arms.

your muffled cries an agonizing sound in my ears, your tears that soak my shirt feeling more like a stab in the chest.

knowing that i’m the cause for them just makes my head hang low with shame, my own tears finally escaping my eyes.

and the only words that i can utter are words of apology, pathetic phrases that just won’t reach you no matter how hard i try.

letting you go then felt like i was choking.

and letting you go now stripped all the oxygen from my lungs.

–

“LANCE!”

i couldn’t even hear myself scream. i could only feel my throat strain to call for you as i saw you jump in front of me.

it wasn’t until a few seconds later when i saw the blood.

“fuck, lance, no, no no no no, please…”

my hands grab at you: your back, your torso, anywhere i could reach.

you cough out blood, a bit splattering on my face and chest.

but that didn’t matter to me.

“k-keith…?”

your hands reach out to engulf me in a hug.

“fuck, angel, i’m so sorry. why did you do that? i could have taken it, i could have taken it, fuck, please, stay awake. stay awake for me angel. keep those eyes open beautiful, i got you. i got you.”

“keith, p-please, i d-don’t…”

“no, no, no, angel, i got you, just please, help is on the way, just stay awake for me. stay awake, okay? open those pretty eyes of yours, wanna see ‘em. can you do that for me, baby?”

“keith, i-i… keith, i…”

“no, no angel, save your breath. save your energy, baby, it’s alright. i got you.”

“t-tell my f-family i lo-love them, a-and…”

i wanted to scream out for you to stop saying that, to stop acting as if you’re dying, but deep down, i knew you were. i knew this was it.

every star dies out eventually.

“...a-and th-that… i ho-hope i m-made them pr-proud… a-and t-tell eve-everyone-e-else too, and k-keith…”

“yes, baby, i’m right here. what do you need, angel?”

it’s a miracle i didn’t stutter, with the amount of tears pouring down my cheeks and the uneven breaths escaping from my lips.

you pull me down by my collar, and our lips met for one final time.

“i love you. i l-love you so, so m-much, keith. i love you.

i’ll be waiting.”

your hand let go of my suit, and the life drained from your eyes.

and now here we are, my hands clutching onto your suit for dear life, screaming out to the moons and suns and stars and whatever the fuck else was up above.

our teammates stood behind us as i cried my heart out.

and i couldn’t even fucking care less.

every star dies out eventually.

#klance #keith voltron #keith x lance #lance x keith #vld fanfic #vld keith #vld lance #voltron legendary defender #vld #klance angst #voltron #lance mcclain #lance voltron #keith kogane #the gays never win!

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spnandtvdudeservedbetter · 2 years

Text

Until the Light Comes Back

Kol mikaelson x reader

TW: mentions depression, self isolation used as a coping mechanism.

Some days were good for her, she could get through it. Go to school, do her homework and even make it to bed on time. And then it would hit. The sadness would crash in like it had no problem ruining what dam she built up.

Today was one of those days she had been avoiding her best friend; Kol Mikaelson for a good week or so now. Not messaging or calling him back, not even wanting to talk or let alone have him around. Yes, she did love him but still his usual cheeky behavior was exhausting to even think about.

So as the week went on, she moped around her house, struggling to even lift herself from the bed and into the bathroom, her body felt cold and numb no matter how many times she put on her oversized hoodie. She continued to neglect herself, barely cooking herself a good enough dinner to keep her going, she had always stuck to the basics of meals, she never was much good of a cook but she could get by with her baking.

Even though she tried to avoid the stillness inside, the ache of her heart, she still felt alone and she wanted him, as pathetic as that made her feel to even admit she wanted her best friend. But still, she pushed that down and went on through her day.

Kol on the other hand, was worried senseless, his family was the most hated and he knew they had enemies. He spent his day pacing back and forth in his room thinking, “what if she’s been killed? Or taken? “ he quickly made his mind up and grabbed his keys to go to his best friends house.

When he got there, he could sense her, not only because he was a vampire but for a reason even he of all people couldn’t explain. He walked up the steps to her front door and rang the bell, at the tone; her dog began barking, making her heart skip a beat, “shh you scared me!” She said stomping over to her dog who sat at the door.

As she walked over she caught a glimpse of her best friend through the window on the door.

She hurriedly opened it, “Kol?”

“Are you alright, darling?”

She sighed, hesitant to even speak another word.

But he knew the answer to his question and walked into her house to pull her into a hug.

She turned away for a second to check if the door was closed and locked, but Kol had already taken care of it. She pulled him back in.

“I’m sorry, it’s just been really hard for me the last few days and I just don’t know why I’m like this.” She spoke after many moments of content silence.

“I was worried about you, you never returned any of my messages or calls, do you even know what I’d have done if something happened to you?” Kol spoke, softly pushing her away to look into her eyes.

She nods her head “no”.

“I would never forgive myself for letting you fall, I need you here and I know that the days feel so long and the nights seem longer than a century. I know. But I need you to stay with me, that’s all I need.”

“Why?” She looks up, tears begging to be let out.

“Because you’re my everything, darling and I promise to sit with you in the darkness until the light comes back.”

“I’m not supposed to feel like this still, it’s been years. I should be over it.”

“Healing doesn’t have a timeline, it happens over time.”

“ I feel like I’m running out of time, everyday it's the same thing, same feelings, same anger. And I’m so so tired of it.” She says, tears inevitably bursting through the floodgates.

“I know, trust me I know, y/n.”

“I- I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I'm so tired of being “strong” and I just want to be weak.”

“Succumbing to that will only drive you deeper, you are allowed to break down, you’re allowed to feel the things you do. But I won’t let you sit in them.”

“Kol. You’re a vampire, you can shut it off.”

“It may be easier for me in that sense but that doesn’t mean I don’t relate to your pain any less.”

“You’re not alone.” He says, breaking from the hug and grabbing her hands.

“I feel like I am, can you just hold me?”

“Of course.”

They walked to her couch, and he wrapped his arms around her body, she melted into him, willingly letting the walls break down in his grasp.

She sniffled and cried into his shoulder, desperately trying to get every inkling of pain out of her body.

He held her strong, making sure she felt safe.

“Do you know how much I’ve needed you?” She says against his chest.

“I’ve felt this need for you since the day we met, you’ve made me feel so much more than I’ve ever felt for another person. “

“I know, Y/N I’ve felt drawn to you too, since day one.”

She sits up,turning to face him “really?”

“Yes, darling.” He gently pulls her back into his arms, kissing her forehead.

“And I will sit with you until the light comes back.” He whispers gently,tracing lines down her back.

#kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson #kol mikealson x you #kol mikaelson x you #the originals #the vampire diaries #Jess's works #jess’ works

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reclusiverisottonero · 1 year

Text

🌧 Rain Can Only Heal So Much 🌧 Ao3 Link

⤷ Risotto/GN!Reader, 1.5k words

Notes/Warnings:

⤷ SFW, cuddling, kissing, mentions of depression, sleep deprivation ⤷ This work was written exclusively with myself in mind, no pronouns or descriptions of body type mentioned, but there might be some references to other physical attributes or other subjects that will not match up with everyone and their experiences. Do not read if this will be an issue for you, thank you.

Risotto's been negligent, and you've been sleep deprived.

For as much of a light sleeper as you are, as fast as your mind races in the dead of night down a spiral of existential dread, the sound of rain hitting the windows of your little flat is one of the few things that calms you enough to block it all out. Brings you a sense of peace for reasons you can’t explain but happily accept. Anything to help get you into a headspace that will have you get some real sleep, no matter how short that sleep might be.

The other thing that helps is Risotto, who’s enjoying the soft pitter-patter of the rain as well. Or maybe the content expression on his face is because he’s here lying in bed with you.

It was easier than you’d thought it would be this time to get him to stop his work early (much earlier, by his standards anyway) and join you in this thick cocoon of blankets and soft pillows. At first he refused, like he always does when urged to get some sleep any earlier than midnight. You’re tired though, so goddamn tired, that you didn’t even bother to argue back like you usually do. Instead you pressed at the dark bags of your swollen eyes, and uttered I sleep better when I’m with you, while trying not to sound as pathetic as you felt for saying it. At the tone of those words his attention had immediately snapped up from his workload to look at you, truly look at you, and any rebuttal he had formed evaporated at the sight.

There’s a strange buzzing going in and out of the sleep-clouded haze of your mind, a heavy, loud sound that’s growing with every exhale. You stir slightly, tightening the grip you have around Risotto’s waist and letting out an annoyed grunt when you hear it again. The buzzing ignores your grumbling, and when your breath hitches hard in the back of your throat in a coughing sputter that’s when you realize the noise is coming from you. It’s your snoring, so loud and hard that you’ve woken yourself up, and probably Risotto as well.

Said man’s arm is like solid metal resting warm around you, holding you carefully against his side as you return to consciousness with a harsh jolt. The deep chuckle you can feel reverberating through his body and into your ear pressing on his flank makes a pleasant shiver run down your spine.

“Oh fuck, Risotto, why didn’t you wake me earlier?” You moan out in embarrassment, turning a little to bury your face into said man’s side.

“You needed the rest.” He replies in low tones, just enough for you to hear.

“Ugh,” Is your witty comeback. “I didn't wake you up, did I?” You attempt to sit up, but Risotto’s hold is unwavering and you don’t have the energy to fight back. The drumming of the rain and distant rolls of thunder are close to pulling you back under when he finally pulls away, turning over on his side and together you both shimmy around to adjust for the height difference until you're properly looking at one another.

Risotto’s hand rests against the curve of your cheek with a delicacy that makes your heart swell and eyes tear up, “I’ve been awake for a little while,” He begins, quickly amending when your face twists in horror, “but not because of you, I promise.”

Biting your lip hard enough to peel back the chapped skin you nod. Risotto rarely likes to make promises. His anxieties at being capable of following through or being seen as genuine hold him back from making them more often.

“What time is it?” The curtains in your room are blackout ones, with the blinds also drawn down tight to keep even the most stubborn of light from the outside from peeking through. Beyond them, the rain continues its steady beat with the sound getting stronger as the seconds tick by.

Here in the darkness Risotto’s eyes are something ethereal to behold. Their soft, warm glow is a beacon you can always rely on when you’re drowning and need to find the shores of sanity again. Caught up in them as you are, it leaves you unprepared for the kiss Risotto gives. It’s a soft, tender press against your lips, filled with warmth and comfort that sinks down deep into the marrow of your bones. Relaxing further into him with a sigh you try to deepen it, but a jaw popping yawn pulls you away from the attempt.

“There’s still plenty of time for you to get more sleep. We don’t have anywhere to be for a long while, so don’t worry.” Risotto says in lieu of a proper answer to your question. It feels like there’s something productive that you could be doing other than lazing about like this. For sure you have things to do, but your mind is still cloudy with sleep and can’t focus on anything but the warmth of Risotto’s body and the way your lips still tingle pleasantly from the kiss.

His thumb brushes across the puffy skin of your under-eye, the calloused pad pressing down slightly and you lean into the touch with a soft hum. Without any more words needed you bury your face into his neck at the same time he wraps his arms around you again, your knees knocking together gently before they entwine and settle in. You jolt a bit when Risotto’s hand starts massaging the spot on your back that you always complain about being sore but relax into the motions quickly. As the pressure deepens and the knots in the muscles dissipates you moan, unaware of how much you needed this until now.

“Just relax, and get some rest.” Risotto murmurs, following his words up with a row of kisses along the top of your head before he speaks again, “Sarò qui quando ti sveglierai, amore mio, te lo prometto.”

Something nags at you in the back of your mind at those last few words, but sleep beckons like a siren's call. Pushes your consciousness to fuzz around the edges until your eyes are too heavy to stay open and the combination of rain along with the soft, rich tones of Risotto’s voice lulls you back to sleep. When he feels your breathing slow to soft, even puffs of air against his neck he moves on from your back to your hair. Catches the soft strands between his fingers while he spaces out, lost in thought.

He should have noticed sooner that your sleep was getting thrown out of whack again, that your depression was coming back full force because of it. Just how long were you trying to handle this by yourself before breaking down like that? You hide your pride so well sometimes that Risotto forgets he’s not the only one that has trouble asking for help when he’s struggling. Shame sinks like stones deep into the pit of his guts as he reflects on how often he’s shut you down recently when asked to join you for sleep. Your face tonight when the facade of strength finally cracked threatens to make those stones rise up to his throat, but he pushes the sob back down. He has no right to self-pity, not when he feels in part to blame for your current state.

Pressing against him like this for so long the amount of body heat building up starts to make him uncomfortable. His arm trapped between your body and the bed is going numb, too, but he doesn’t dare move. Not yet. He’ll endure it for as long as he needs to until—

At your first snore a smile breaks across Risotto’s face. It’s drawn out and obnoxiously loud and he couldn’t love the sound of it more if he tried. Satisfied with how relaxed you are he takes back his arm. He scoots back to stare at your sleep soft expression, and a small laugh escapes him at the endearing way your cheek is squished against the pillow.

What the hell is wrong with me, he thinks as he strokes your cheek with the back of his hand, how can anything be more important than you?

Risotto knows these thoughts are drenched in a sense of romanticism he works hard to suppress deep within himself, but right now he makes a conscious decision to let them roam free. To let those feelings guide his heart into creating a plan for how he’ll make things right again once you’re feeling well rested. For now, he closes his eyes and buries his nose into your hair, inhaling the comfort of your scent with a shaky breath.

Rain falls gently just beyond the windows in a pleasant rhythm, but Risotto tunes it out easily. He focuses on the harsh pattern of your snores and already can feel himself drifting off, as nothing else can lull him to sleep quite like you.

#risotto x reader #risotto nero x reader #risotto nero #risotto jjba #risotto jojo #risotto nero jojo #my writing #i finally feel comfortable posting this fffff #no fancy graphic with this one since i dont have photoshop on me atm #maybe next time

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vay99 · 1 year

Text

Baji x reader

Letter

Anime/Manga: Tokyo revengers

Warnings: Mentions of death, Manga spoilers

"He really didn't talk to you? Not once? For one week?" Chifuyu can't believe his ears as you tell him that his best friend hasn't talked to you for a week. Baji is usually clinging onto you and has Chifuyu third wheeling.

"I don't know what's up either..." you sigh. "All I know is that you guys will be fighting in two days and Baji is no where to be found. That dickhead betrayed his friends."

"He's on our side." Chifuyu defends his best friend.

"I know but during that fight.. I have a bad feeling about it, he doesn't wear his Toman jacket... you guys protect each other, those uniforms are the symbol for that. Valhalla wants war." you remind your brother before walking off, that Chifuyu didn't hear from Baji as well was a bad sign.

"(y/l/n)." your teacher calls you for the fourth time, shaking you awake firm your thoughts.

"Huh? Sorry." you apologize as a few students snicker. Answering his questions you go back to drowning in your thoughts again. /He still feels guilty, what if he'll harm himself? I need to talk to Mikey but he left me on read that idiot. Baji still hasn't read any of my... Huh? HUH?!/

The bell rings you back to life again. Baji texted you. -Meet me in an hour under the bridge in the park.-

After you told Chifuyu about it you leave school a bit earlier, telling the teachers you don't feel well.

"Baji." you greet your friend. "Why didn't you answer my messages?"

"Why should I?" he answers half-hearted, having his back turned towards you.

"We're friends for fucks sake!"

"We never were. I just needed toys to play with until Kazutora got out of jail. You weren't and exception, or your brother." Baji explains. "(y/n), I want you to listen and tell this Mikey and the rest." Baji turns around to face you. "I will kill Mikey. None of you are my friends and if you get in my way I'll kill you."

Turning around to leave you stare at him, processing what he said.

"Chifuyu still believes in you." you say, making him stop in his tracks. "And I do as well. Even though my brain tells me to hate you I can't. The past two years can't just be a lie."

"Oh, can't they? It was fun but it never meant anything, laughter makes waiting easier. And all just for tomorrows fight. Or do you prefer to die right here and now?"

"Shut up! You were never like this!"

"So you really have a death wish huh? Thinking that I must care for you, how dumb are you?" he walks away from you. "You were fun to play with but I'll just get myself a new toy."

"No, you're lying. Please tell me you're lying." throat feeling tight you feel your heart bleeding.

"Pathetic. I'll kill Mikey and anyone who's getting in my way of doing so." he disappears from your sight, walking into the next alley just to break down as well. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry (y/n) please, please just forget me. Please get rid of your feelings, you shouldn't love a looser like me. Hate me. Just hate me already." he cries, hugging his knees upto his chest.

"Hey how did -" Chifuyu greets you back home but you just throw your shoes into the next corner and Strom past him. "Didn't go well huh?"

"Didn't go well? Didn't go well?!?! I don't know what the fuck happened to Baji! He wants to kill Mikey and any of us who gets in his way, saying we never meant any to him!" your tears start falling again. "I know he's lying... He has to. Baji needs our help but pushes everyone away. He won't survive this."

Spending the next hours to calm you down Chifuyu can't help but starting to get a bad feeling as well.

Not being a member of Toman meant not being allowed to fight today. Mean that you wait at Emma's home, with Emma and Hina while being hella anxious. Your brother, the boy that you love and your friends are fighting. Right now. And you can't be there. Oh how much you wanna fight Valhalla yourself right now is beyond any scale.

-Flashback-

"I said no (y/n)." Mikey repeats himself

"But I can fight!"

"You're not a member of Toman. You've got dragged into fights way too often already. I will bring Baji back, I promise." Mikey holds your shoulders as he makes his promise. "I don't wanna see a future where you two aren't a bickering old married couple so I wil make it come true."

-Flashback over-

"(y/n), the boys will be alright." Hina tries to lift the mood, being anxious herself.

"I wish I could believe that. I can't shake off this bad feeling." you pace threw the living room. At some point you started crying out of nowhere, which Hina explained like that "You're just too stressed and your body can't take it, I'll make you some tea."

Emma constantly checks her phone to see if Draken or Mikey text anything.

Half an hour later you hear the front door opening and some steps. Mike, Draken, Mitsuya, Chifuyu and Takemichi entering the room. No Baji.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't keep my promise." Mikey bows to you, eyes empty and blood all over him.

"Where's Baji? Mikey why are covered in blood, Chifuyu you look- Gosh what happened?!" you cry out.

"Baji-san is..." Chifuyu sobs out not understandable words.

"He died." Draken finishes the sentence, leaving the room in silence. You can't react, completely frozen.

As you wake up the next morning you don't remember anything that happened after Draken words and the news that confirmed it. Baji is dead. Laying in your bed you feel numb, feelings wise and body wise. After crying for hours you collapsed.

Softly knocking on your door your brother enters your room, eyes puffed and red.

"Baji-san wrote this letter for you." Chifuyu hands you and envelope with your name on it. Sitting down on your bed.

"I can't, I can't read this." your voice cracks, the numbness slowly fading as the pain returns. "I can't. I miss him too much. If I read this then there's nothing he can say to me anyone. He'll be... completely gone."

"I know, I miss him as well."Chifuyu wipes his tears. "My letter made me cry but I'm glad I did." his eyes scream pain as his smile tries to hide it.

Dear (y/n),

I didn't even know if I'd be able to save Mikey so I don't know if I'll survive this... important things first: Kisaki is dangerous, stay away from him... and if you're reading this then that means I died. I'm bad with words...

Sorry...

I was a dickhead, I hang out at your house every day but never had the guts to just say it.

Remember how we met? Chifuyu invited me over to play video games, he didn't mention that he had a sister so I assumed you were his girlfriend, luckily you weren't. You played with us and beat our asses in every game, that was so badass. Damn, it was love from day one... We even cooked together and teased Chifuyu about his bad cooking skills as if we've known each other forever. I'd do everything to do that again. But who am I to judge? I burned the potatoes... but you said they tasted delicious, you're such a bad liar haha.

I practiced my cooking skills... you remember the secret admirer that made you bentos? That was me. Pretty lame to confess on this way huh? Guess I'm just a lame guy.

Sorry for what I've said under the bridge. I wanted you to hate me, despise me, forget about me.

Now that I'm writing this I regret that I haven't told you what I feel before. But it's for the better, you deserve someone who's worth your love. I'm no good...

Still I wanna love you till the day I die, which I did by now I guess. Please don't cry over someone as rotten as me, your eyes shine so bright, they should never know tears.

This is the final goodbye

PS: My love for you made life less painful, thank you for letting me love you

Reading the letter was what broke you completely, he sacrificed his life to save his friends, hated him for his actions in the past and thought that he deserved to suffer.

"I would give up anything if I could hug you one last time." you whisper, looking at a picture of you cooking and Baji that Chifuyu secretly took. "Why can't I just turn back time."

#tokyo revengers oneshot #Tokyo revengers #baji keisuke #Baji x reader #Baji keisuke x reader #Tokyo revengers imagine

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bilesproblems · 1 year

Text

Common mistakes made when arguing with exclus (and how to respond properly)

Hi mspec lesbians today I'm gonna talk about some things that exclus say often, the common responses that get nowhere, and how to properly respond (all joking btw)

#1: "Lesbians can't be attracted to men. If you're attracted to men in any capacity, you can't be a lesbian"

Incorrect reply ❌: Actually, I'm not attracted to men, I just recognize my attraction to multiple feminine and neutrally aligned genders as mspec

Correct reply ✅: (HEARTS, DIAMONDS,) I CAN DO ANYTHING!

Exclus don't care about reason. Make deltarune references instead. Especially if you are an mspec lesbian attracted to men

#2: "I just don't get it though how does that work"

Incorrect reply ❌: *An actual detailed response explaining mspec lesbians*

Correct reply ✅: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a Multistage Aerobic Capacity Test...

There are dozens of resources on mspec lesbians. This reply is especially helpful for when you've already tried explaining. They just won't get it if they don't wanna.

#3: "Maybe lesbian USED to include nonexclusive attraction, but that's in the past now!"

Incorrect reply ❌: While some bi people did choose to leave themselves, a lot of us were forced out by Gold Star lesbians instead of just by natural language progression. If you guys wanted or needed your own spaces, you should have made your own. I have a right to be here.

Correct reply ✅: When single shines the triple sun, what was sundered and undone, shall be whole, the two made one, by Gelfling hand, or else by none.

When you explain things to exclusuonists, they plug their ears and ignore what you said. When you say cryptic shit, they have to think.

#4: "Why do you have to make everything so complicated with your identity?"

Incorrect reply ❌: I do not feel a single label properly explains my identity, and I feel all these labels fit my experience.

Correct reply ✅: Gotta catch 'em all

"Abro lesbian, I choose you!" *throws PokeLGBallT*

#5: "Just pick one!"

Incorrect response ❌: I can't just pick one. These labels all have a meaning to me and picking one feels like I'm picking between parts of myself.

Correct reply ✅: I don't have to. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. Vice Principal Nero likes me best and there's a special beef and bean burrito with a little ribbon on it just for me.

You don't have to just pick a single label. No one fits neatly into one little box, and those of us who like boxes anyway are building our box forts. You don't owe an explanation to exclus beyond "I don't want to."

#6: "Liking women and nonbinary people doesn't count as mspec!"

Incorrect reply ❌: Yeah it does. Way to be transphobic and biphobic in one sentence.

Correct reply ✅: I consider that a dignified argument. Not really, it was actually quite pathetic. *aggressive banjo sounds*

Self explanatory why this reason sucks. 2+ genders = mspec. Even if those 2 genders are girl and demigirl, you can consider yourself mspec.

#7: "Mspec lesbians harm real lesbians and erase the meaning of the word lesbian"

Incorrect reply ❌: I am literally just existing

Correct reply ✅: Oogalie boogalie bitch

You can't fix stupid and convince them we don't hurt anyone. Embrace being the destroyer of lesbianism.

#8: "Just say homosexual/homoromantic if you use the SAM instead of lesbian, because lesbian is exclusive to people not attracted to men in any way"

Incorrect reply ❌: Not only do you not really mean that, because you actually only draw the line at sexual and romantic attraction, but that's the most ridiculous level of gatekeeping. No other lgbt label in the world has a requirement on both sexual AND romantic attraction except aroace and other -rose labels, but those are specifically combos FOR romantic and sexual attraction. No one should have to call themselves homo- instead of lesbian just because their romantic orientation is different than their sexual orientation. Plus that definition means every aroace woman and nonbinary person is a lesbian.

Correct reply ✅: How about no. *then you waddle away, waddle waddle waddle.*

Again, you owe nobody an explanation. You don't have to. Just say no.

#9: "Mspec lesbian labels contribute to real lesbians being harassed, assaulted, and (r-word that I won't type until I learn how to censor)"

Incorrect reply ❌: You're beyond hope. Someone who would assault someone either doesn't care about their orientation or is doing it specifically because they think the person isn't attracted to them and needs to be fixed. It is their own entitlement, ego, and lack of care for other people that leads to that happening, not teens identifying as bi lesbians. Let's pretend all straight men think all lesbians will like men. Not even straight women like every man they see. No one will claim "well because I am a lesbian who likes men, you now have to date men." That's the single stupidest thing a person could ever think. You'd be smarter unironically believing 2 + 2 = 5, the Earth is flat, and MH370 was hijacked by Russians than believing unironically that a single lesbian who doesn't like men at all would be forced to date men because a different lesbian did. Some lesbians like nonbinary people and some only like women, and the ones who only like women aren't forced to date nonbinary people. You single handedly bring down the average intelligence of all humanity by a significant margin.

Correct reply ✅: For a clownfish, you really aren't that funny.

Anyone stupid enough to believe this can't be reasoned with and they will hopefully never be in charge of anything. Don't waste your energy.

I can't think of a 10th so that's all folks

#mspec lesbian positivity #pro mspec lesbian #mspec lesbian safe #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian positivity #pro bi lesbian #bi lesbian #bi lesbian safe #lunian #mogai positivity #mogai #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtqa #lgbtqia #lesbian

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lawliet-ryuzaki-ryuga · 1 year

Text

Chapter 6

HXH ( ILLUMI ZOLDYCK )

CONTROL

WC:4831

TW: small acts of violence, and just small moment of aggression from being held without consent.

A/N: SO I’m graduating from college is Friday, which explains the late update but longer chapter! But i wanted a Noa’s (POV) yk so you can get an idea of her logic and ways of thinking in a mission.. also just more general thoughts about her lil mans illumi. I hope y’all like it and it isn’t boring... But fear not LIL CHAPTER OF ILLUMI AND HIS BABY SIBLINGS COMING UP!

chapter 5

Masterlist

Noa (pov)

Breath in.. breath out… Today was just another day, another mission. I stood in front of my mirror at the hotel I was currently staying at. Fixing my appearance or should i say disguise. If there was one thing about my job that I just adore, it’s dressing up. Nails are done, a wig of choice, makeup and dress to my liking. I could be who and whatever I wanted to be, anything to trap my target. This mission there’s a gala happening for all those dirty men who are part of the underground mafia. The goal was easy: find my target, seduce him, have my target kill themselves, easy.

Previously I had found out who was in charge of putting the list of names for the event and i just needed to get my alias name on there… Nothing a little kiss couldn’t fix. With one last look at my black dress that held a high slit, I knew that my job would be simple. Men like to grab things that aren’t theirs and love to see what is hidden.. Pathetic.

I grab my clutch and walk right out of my room, walking towards the elevator to wait for a lift. Once the elevator arrived, there were many stops in between floors for a pick up. I would say that the tension in the small enclosed space was strong or intimidating considering I was just surrounded by around 7 men. But if there’s one thing that I know about mafia men it's that I shouldn't be concerned about the tension, I’m simply the arm candy they want, the prize. Once we reached the floor we needed, I didn't wait for the men to walk out, I needed to be the one to leave first, I needed to leave my trail of scent behind, I was the prey and they’re the predators.. They will hunt me, but little do they know I'm their worst nightmare.

“Daisy Klaus”

“Right this way madam” the security escorts me to the large door and opens it for me. I looked around familiarizing myself where all the camera’s were found, every blind spot, exit, guards and well the best spot to be to attract my target.

“ Miss Klaus is it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.” A deep voice from behind me speaks. His cologne was way too overbearing, giving me a headache already, nothing like Illumi’s. I continue to walk towards the bar not giving this man much attention since he would just distract me from locating my target.

“ Please would you be a darling and make me a french martini?” I ask the bartender before me, giving the softest tone I have been able to master. With a quick nod, the bartender moves quick to make my drink. I take a seat on the island chair, waiting for my drink. The key to looking available is sit by a bar alone, cross your leg over the other leg and rest both elbows on the counter and intertwine your hands and rest your chin over them.

“ Ignoring me I see, didn’t take you as a martini girl.” The same man speaks up. Why won't he just go.. Not the man I’m trying to look available to.. I guess I can entertain myself a bit.

“ I wouldn’t say ignoring you, just simply seeing what type of man you are.” I turn my head to face him, pouting my lips a bit and angling my head a bit so that i look like I’m tilting my head up, giving a more innocent look.

“ Well you’ll come to know that I am a gentleman.” He speaks with a cocky smirk painting his face.

“ Here you are miss, french martini, anything else that i can get you?” The bartender hands me the red drink with a small paper coaster under the glass. I make sure to touch his hands just in case I might need him as a body shield later… need to control as many people’s movements as possible.

“ Oh I’m sorry about that,” I look over his name tag, that reads ‘ Azowa’. “ I didn’t mean to touch you, and no thank you!” I act shocked, allowing myself to blush, as an act of embarrassment.

“ No worries at all.” The man flashes his pearly whites before he’s asking the man besides me for his drink. I sit in silence, raising the glass to my lips to take a small sip. My painted red lips stain the clear glass leaving my lip print behind.

“ So what is a girl like you doing in the mafia, who do you work for?” the man questions trying to create small talk.

“ Oh I’m one of the performers tonight, but I’m waiting on Mr. Zuliski since he requested I be here. I just haven't seen him.” I ran my finger tip around the glass edges while looking around to see if I could spot my target..

“ Ah see I knew a pretty girl like you wouldn’t be part of the mafia. It would ruin that innocence of yours. And I don’t believe he’s here yet, he tends to be one of the last guests to arrive at such occasions.”

“Well I don’t wait for men and .. Mm I would say I’m too innocent, I can be bad when I need to be.

“ I don’t believe you.”

“ Well you’ll have to wait and see I guess.” I get up from my seat and walk away from him. With the help of my long legs I’m able to take longer strides. If there’s one thing a man loves, it’s a chase.

I walk around looking behind me to see if he was able to follow me, to my surprise I don’t see him.. hm what a shame.

I proceed to walk around aimlessly until I find one of the bodyguards of my target.. ah it’s Michelo Ganiz, age 26, skills in martial arts. Simple to deal with and it means my target is near.

I walk towards him and prepare myself to trip on my own feet.

“ Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” I grab onto Michelo’s arm to act as support from my “ fall.”

The man uses one arm to hoist me back up from my waist and steadily insures I’m stable. “ quite the fall you had there.” He laughs.

“ i- I’m so sorry, that’s so embarrassing. I hope i didn't hurt you, are you alright?” I look at him up and down acting concerned about this man’s well being.

“ I’m fine, I should be asking you that.”

“ oh yes I’m fine, o was trying to get away from this man.. he hasn’t left me alone.” Giving him my best pleading for help type of eyes.

“ hmm is that so, how would you describe his appearance?”

“ I mean he looks like every man in here.”

He simply chuckles and tells me he needs to get back to work. I give him a bright smile and thank him once again for his help. I walk a few feet away until I pull out a small access card to a hotel room from the band that was wrapped around my upper thigh above the slit of the dress. Bingo, now this will simply be a game of chess.

“ Looks like I found the little flower again.” The same man from earlier who I left at the bar speaks from behind me. Can I not just do this mission in peace?

“ I imagine you’re stalking me.”

“ Oh never Just trying to understand why we have a rat among us.”

Well.. there goes my cover..I turn to give him a small smile and take long strides in his direction until I’m standing before him. “ A rat you say, well I'm glad you’re here I'm terrified of them.” I run my fingers tips down his chest along his tie.

“ if I were you I’d cut the crap, I asked every person when you would be performing, yet no one knew who you were, like to explain yourself?”

“ Well that’s on you for assuming what type of performer I am, I’m more of a… private performer, if you know what i mean.”

“ Mm and you’re here for Mr. Zuliski is it? Well in that case let me take you to him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sharing you with me” He tries to grab my upper arm, but before he could do that I pull him from his tie and pull him in for a kiss. Was it unnecessary, absolutely.. But for precautions, most definitely, I’ll need to get rid of him if he’s lying to me.

I pull away from the kiss and he doesn’t seem too bothered by the kiss, just ends up taking my upper arm in his grip and pulling me to God knows where. We make it towards the elevator and he calls a few people to come meet him so that he can have access to the floor he needs. Pathetic, talks the talk but doesn't have the resources to walk the walk. I pull away from his grip and pull out once gain the card i stole, I press the elevator button and wait for him to get in, The man looks at me but sees the card in my hand.

“ stole it i see, not only are you a rat, a whore, but a pickpocketer and a low life.” He mumbles and gets into the elevator, he pushes the floor he needs and I scan the card, so we could get access. A small * DING* is heard and the elevator begins picking up speeds going to the 87th floor.

“ Takes a low life to know one doesn't it ?” I comment back, watching the number increase gradually till we finally reach floor 87. Once again he grabs my upper arm and leads me down the hallway.. Hmm, it looks very different compared to the rest of the hotel, i look at every door that we pass and notice that there’s no numbers on them, odd. We finally reach a door and the man knocks on the door, he tightens his grip around my upper arm basically cutting blood circulation. I wonder if he knows that I’m an assassin, I could snap his neck in a second, let’s not mention that I can just use my nen to make him do as I please.. I suppose I can continue to play the damsel in distress role. My thoughts are cut short when a man opens the door, or should i say Mr. Michelo, well now I know he knows I took his card.

The mysterious man whom i haven't figured out his name still holds on to me. I could hear the sounds of smacks and a few hits in the distance, well I guess someone is about to die.. Not me, that's for sure. We finally reach the door where I heard all the sounds from and I'm thrown into the room.

“ we found another spy who stole my card and told Mr. Angelo that she was looking for you.” Michelo speaks up, finally giving me a name to the man who’s been following.. Well you’re a dead man Angelo.

“ Tie her up, I’ll get to her once I’m done with him.” My target speaks, turning back to the man tied up, I look closer to get a better look of who the spy is, but my heart stops..What is Illumi doing here, is he following me? No, he wouldn’t be that dumb, he must have a mission here. I stare at Illumi watching him take another hit to his beautiful face, but all he does is stay still and take the hit.

“ Now tell me boy, why are you here and who sent you here?” Mr. Zuliski asks what I Imagine the hundredth time, since I know that Illumi will refuse to speak. The man finally gets frustrated and turns to me leaving Illumi.

“ So tell me darling, why were you looking for me?”

“ To be completely fair, He’s probably here for other reasons so how about we let him go because I was sent to kill you.”

Mr. Zuliski is taken back by my words for a split second, before he starts coming closer towards me and slaps me across the face. Given he’s a shorter man he feels the need to demonstrate strength to compensate for his lack of height.. So I don’t turn my head in the direction I was slapped, just so I can make him feel like the hit was weak at best.

“ If I wanted to be tapped I would have preferred the top of my head or shoulders.”

“ SHUT UP.” *SMACK* “Who sent you here?”

“Why not ask one of the men over there, I’m sure they’ll love to answer you, isn’t that right Mr. Angelo?”

Rule number 43 of manipulation, to manipulate your target, manipulate everyone around them, so that the truth is delayed.

“ Angelo, what is she talking about?!”

“ Mr. Zuliski, she's lying!” Angelo defends himself.

“Trying to save yourself sir, you’d rather hire an assassin than do the job yourself, didn’t realize the mafia was made up of… oh yes, weak links.” I retort back trying to add more information to the lie.

“ shut your mouth”

“ As you wish.” I give a smile, tasting some of the blood from my cut lip.

I look back at illumi just to be met with his gaze, ah, he’s figured out it was me. His face expression is blank but his eyes speak a thousand words.. well words that I don’t know of… what is he trying to tell me?

I look back at the men and hear them bickering, while Angelo tries to reason with Mr. Zuliski.

This is taking too long, if they won’t kill each other willingly I’ll do it myself.

With my hands tied together, I still move my fingers direction pointing to Mr. Zuliski, and whisper “ Michelo grab Zuliski and don’t let him go”

In an instant Michelo grabs my Target and holds him, my target begins screaming at the top of his lungs to be let go. I quickly whisper “Angelo dear, kill Zuliski and Michelo, shoot them each with a bullet between their eyes.”

All it takes is for me to whisper it to myself, my victims of my kisses and touches hear my voice in their heads. The difference between my touch commands, is that they’re weaker, i cant ask my little play toys for any big demands. While my kisses i can ask for anything.

“ Of course, anything for you.” Angelo speaks out, grabbing his gun holding it in the direction of his targets. I can see him trying to fight my command but unlike Michelo, I kissed him which means he couldn’t fight my nen off… Michelo, if he knew any nen, might have been able to fight off my command.. what a pity..

*Bang*

Two shots, I look at Angelo who drops his gun and looks at me.. he begins charging towards me.

“ Silly you my sweetheart, untie me and save me”

“ Yes right away.” Angelo stop charging.

His motive now towards me is different, he no longer wishes to kill me, instead he wants to save me, such a darling.

He begins to try to untie me, when I look over and hear Illumi literally breaks his wrists to untie himself… idiot, I was going to come and untie you.

But I couldn’t think of anything else besides watching illumi literally murder the man before me.

“ You just got his blood all over me for no reason illumi, you ruined my dress.”

“ I’ll buy you another one”

“ you won’t find another one like this one”

“You kissed him didn’t you”

“Not really your business Illumi, but yes.”

“ I told you not to kiss anyone.”

“ it’s my job illumi, now look at your wrist, it's all broken, why couldn’t you just have waited.”

“ He was my target, and I told you, kiss anyone and they’re dead.”

“ Well now I don’t feel so special, you were going to kill him either way, not because he kissed me.”

Illumi looks at me and turns to untying my hands. Once done he extends his hand out for me to grab so he can help lift me up.

“ let me send my picture to my client, you should as well.” I tell illumi, pulling my phone out from my inner thigh and snap all the pictures I need.

“ I’m surprised you got them all in one room.” Illumi guides me towards the exit with his hand hovering over my lower back. Doesn’t his wrist hurt, i wouldn’t be moving it around the way he is right now, if i were him.

“ It wasn't my plan, it was just pure luck.” I respond back.

“ Well I couldn’t lure anyone in, so I wouldn’t say it was pure luck Noa.”

“ I disagree, if you grow your hair out, you’ll be more of a catch. Not that you aren’t already.”

We walk towards the elevator and wait for the lift to arrive. A few seconds pass until the doors open. We walk in and I press the floor number of my room.

“ Do you have another target?” Illumi asks.

“ No, I would like to change out of this dress. And I’d like to change out of my disguise.”

We reach my room and I unlock the room, I walk in pushing the door open for illumi to enter.

“ Are you just going to wait outside or are you coming in Illu?”

He walks into the room looking around seeing the mess I honestly left around.

“ don’t mind the mess, it takes hard work to look like this.” I sit on the vanity chair and begin removing my make up and whatever blood that landed on my face.

I keep removing my make up and watch illumi walk towards me and stands behind me looking at me from the mirror.

“ if you need to shower go ahe-.”

Im cut off by illumi cupping under my chin tilting my head back and kissing me. The kiss itself was aggressive but his touch and grip was soft and delicate. Our lips mold together fitting like they were meant to be. The moment is cut short because he pulls away and walks away towards the bathroom.

“ Noa.”

“ Yes?”

“Don’t ever do that again, do I make myself clear?”

I stay silent just looking at illumi.

“ I said did I make myself clear.”

“ Yes.”

With that Illumi walks into the bathroom and closes the door. I look back to my mirror before me and snap out of my dazed moment and finish removing my make up and anything else.

Once I’m done, I grab the robe the hotel provided and use it to cover my body. Waiting for Illumi yo get out, so that I could take my shower. It was a couple of minutes when illumi came out.

“ took you long enough.” I bump my shoulder against his In passing.

“ I know I won’t hear you complaining when you’re all over me later on.”

“ full of yourself much?” I scoff and close the door behind me. I can’t believe he said that to me, to think he thinks I’m going to be all over him. I turn towards the mirrior and see that my cheeks are red.. why. The. Hell. Are. My. Cheeks. Red.

I shake my head and turn back to the shower, remove my robe and jump into the shower. The hot water relaxes my sore muscles. I go to grab my shampoo.. and see that it’s opened.. hmm illumi used it, hah he smells like me.

I make my shower quick and jump out of the shower, wrapping my hair in the towel and start my face routine to make sure all the make up is off and we’ll moisturized.

When I’m officially done I walk out and see illumi laying on my bed.

“ staying the night?”

“ you’re not leaving?”

“ no”

“ wouldn’t they catch you or us if we stay here.”

“ I’m going to alter all the cameras so that all they are is me randomly walking out of the elevator at the event and being walked into the room they took us to. So if you have any specific location you need me to alter let me know now.”

I grab my laptop and begin accessing the camera control system, And begin altering everything. It takes a couple of minutes until I’m done.

“ okay let’s go.”

“ Where are we going?”

“ to another room, grab what you need.”

I pack all my personal things and leave everything else I don’t find of use behind. I see illumi just hold his dirty clothing in his hand.

“ Here, put it in this bag, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

Illumi stuffs his clothing into the bag and takes it from me.

“ illumi your wrist.., i can carry it.”

“ I’m fine.” he pulls the bag strap from my hand and carries the bag.

“Thank you Illumi.”

Both of us in our robes walk out of the room and towards the new room down the hall.

“ don’t worry, they won’t see us walking out of the room, I’m making sure the clip plays another 10 min before it begins playing live footage.”

Illumi gives a small nod before walking behind me. We reach the room and I key in opening the door for illumi to enter, he drops the bag by the door and closes the door behind him.

I open the bag and take out his clothing and walk towards this small closet. “ what are you doing?” Illumi asks watching me open the closet with his clothing in hand.

“ washing your clothing, unless you wish to stay in that robe all night.”

“ no I don’t.”

“ I thought so.”

I throw them in the washer and add whatever detergent they gave us and have it for an extra rinse. Once all that’s set I turn around to slam right into illumi’s chest. I- why is the boy in my way.

“Why did you keep calling my target pet names.”

“ you mean Angelo? A sweetheart isn’t he!” I gush knowing that alone will tip Illumi over, if you want to get on my case, I’ll give you a reason to then.

Illumi tried to corner me between him and the washer but I just squeezed from the side and made it out, walking towards the bed.

“ Noa, I'm asking you a question.”

“ and I don’t have to answer every question.”

“ why did you call him a sweetheart?”

“ because I just did, now be quiet.”

“ No I want an explanation.”

“ well you won’t get one illumi.”

“ Why did you call him those things?”

I stay quiet and lay in bed with my eye closed, maybe if I don’t see him, he can’t see me? I should practice that.

“ Noa.”

“ illumi what!”

“ why did you call him a sweetheart?”

“ Illumi why do you care so much, just drop it!”

“ BECAUSE… because.. you never called me that.”

I open my eyes and shot up to sit up right and look at illumi.. what did he just say?

“ illumi what?”

“ I said you never say that to me.”

“ because I don’t need to say it.”

“ oh”

“ that’s not what I meant.”

“ then what did you mean?”

“ I mean.. I- well.. I can’t control my target if I don’t say endearing things… So that's why. I don’t want to say those things to you because I don’t want to control you by accident. you’re not a target.”

Illumi from across the room just stares at me with no expression. Oh how I wish to be in his mind right now, what are you thinking? Did I hurt you?

He slowly walks towards the bed and sits in front of me at the edge of the bed. I notice his wrist is still broken. So I crawl over till I’m besides him sitting crisscrossed.

I grab his wrist and move my finger tips in the direction I need his bones to move, I whisper a few words until I lean in to kiss his wrist. I give his wrist back to him, and just look at him from the side.

He’s grown up so much, his features becoming more prominent, jawline becoming stronger. He’s no longer the little boy who would play assassin with me, and make me hold his little crystals.

My train of thought is broken when I hear the washing machine beep, I get up and move all his clothing from the washer to the dryer. Setting it on high, so that it would dry faster.

I stand by the dryer and just letting my thoughts go back to the events of tonight. I think of all the men I had to touch, and Those who touched me, I felt disgusted in myself. How could I do that to people, Just manipulate them like that.. the constant voice of my mother playing in my head telling me “ manipulate everyone, no exceptions.”

I look over at illumi and there he sat didn’t even move an inch, still looking ahead, hands on his lap. I can't manipulate him, he’s my friend. Well my ally, I can’t manipulate them..

I hear another beeping sound coming from the dryer, I grab his clothing out and fold them each into a stack and walk towards him with his clothing.

Once I stand in front of him I hand him his clothing but all he does is smack them away.

“ illumi why did yo-.”

I’m cut off by illumi standing and pulling me in by my waist. My hand lay flat against his chest as I wait for what he’s going to say or do next.

“Noa, you’ll never control me.”

“ you don’t know that.”

“ no, but I know you.”

“ well wouldn’t that make us friends then?”

“ no”

“ we’re not?”

“ No, we can never be friends.”

“ why not?”

“ Because Noa, you being my friend will hold me back. If let’s say back there we were friends and something was happening to you, then I’d probably act stupid and get myself killed by accident, you being my friend would be a set back.”

“ but you acted stupid by breaking your wrist and killing Angelo because I ‘kissed him’.”

“ not the same thing Noa.”

“ how isn’t it not the same thing Illumi?”

“Because its’s not.”

“ well that sucks , it was stupid of me to assume anything.”

I move away from him and walk over to the other side of the bed and slide under the covers. Just wait for him to turn off the lights behind him, not really caring where he sleeps.

It wasn’t long before I feel the bed dip on my other side and I feel him crawl under the duvet. He turns off the lamp that’s on the stand on his side and all you could hear is our breathing. His breaths become more consistent and softer, he must have fallen a sleep.

“ Noa?” Illumi calls out.

Well I was wrong, what does he want now? Should I respond, no I should stay quiet.

“ Noa i know you’re up.”

I stay silent and just close my eyes, maybe if I ignore him long enough he’ll stop talking.

I continue to ignore him and his calls, but everytime he tries to get my attention, he pulls at my heartstrings. Wait.. did he just, why did he move.

“ Illumi, let me go.”

“ Talk to me first.”

“Illumi i will say this one more time, Let.Go.Of.Me.”

“ Not until you speak to me.”

“ If you don’t let me go, I will not hesitate to hurt you.”

“ Noa just because you’re not my friend doesn’t mean i… doesn't mean that i.. That I don't care for you.”

“ Illumi please be quiet, you make no sense., and let go of me.”

“ I do make sense.”

“ ILLUMI LET GO OF ME.” My fight or flight kicks in, and lock my ankle under his leg throw myself over to straddle him, using both of my hands I reach for his wrists and twist them both until I hear multiple cracks from his wrists. I switch to hold them both in one hand and move my fingernails towards his neck.

“ When I tell you to let go of me. You. Let. go. Of. Me. I don’t care who you are, DON’T you EVER hold me against my will. Not you, not my mother or father, not anyone will ever do that to me again.”

I look down at Illumi and see him staring back at me with what I could see is a hint of a smile.

“ understood.” He smiles.

“ Is this a joke to you Illumi? Because I see nothing worth smiling about when your life's on the line.”

“ No reason at all.”

I just stare back at illumi, my eyesight adjusting to the darkness, trying to see what could be so funny or entertaining, but I find nothing worth smiling about. I moved my hand from his neck and pulled at his wrists aggressively. I do my usual thing and once they’re healed I throw them back at him.

“ Go to bed illumi.”

“ Okay.”

I turn over so that my back is facing Illumi instead and try to go to bed quickly, not knowing what tomorrow might hold. Once I've relaxed, I'm automatically back on alert mode when I feel Illumi lean over and give me a kiss on my cheek.

“ I care about you, goodnight Noa.”

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animebw · 1 year

Text

Short Reflection: Onimai (I Am Now Your Sister!)

I’ve been trying to put into words why Mushoku Tensei is so infuriating to me for a while. You think it’d be easy, right? All I have to say (and indeed, what I have said in the past) is “this show wastes so much gorgeous animation and obvious talent on a pedophile protagonist who’s never punished for his actions” and everyone with a functioning brain would understand why they need to avoid this show like it’s the scarlet rot in Elden Ring. And yet that doesn’t quite capture the whole of it. That simple explanation doesn’t offer an explanation for just how deep and personal my fixation with Mushoku Tensei has been since its airing. I’ve watched plenty of bad anime and tossed them into the memory hole, but something about this one refuses to stop pestering me. It demands my attention even when I wish I could just forget it ever existed, like a splinter constantly pricking the back of my mind. And despite my best efforts, I’ve been unable to understand or explain what about this particular bad show makes it impossible for me to stop thinking about it.

So if there’s one thing I can thank Onimai for, it’s that it finally helped me realize why.

Sure, on the surface, these two shows don’t have that much in common. They’re both produced by studio Bind, both lavishly animated to a frankly absurd degree, both about adult men being zapped into a new child body for a second chance at life, and both clearly aiming to conquer the lolicon share of the market. But one’s an ostensibly epic fantasy while the other is a pastel-vomit cute girls gender-bender extravaganza. You wouldn’t think there’d be many comparison points to be made here. And yet, these two shows are similar. In fact, I’d argue that at heart, Mushoku Tensei and Onimai are essentially the same story, just filtered through different prisms of genre. And it’s in recognizing those similarities that I was finally able to unlock the reason behind my visceral fascination with Mushoku Tensei, and why this studio’s brand of storytelling leaves me so, so angry.

See, both Rudeus and Mahiro, in their past lives, were losers. And not just any losers, no; they were full on hikkikomori shut-in failures who retreated into extreme otakudom and porn addiction to cope with not being able to understand the world. They’re the embodiment of the saddest, most pathetic depths a person can sink to, the worst case scenario for so many socially-deficient anime fans who come to this medium to escape reality. But in their respective rebirths, Rudeus and Mahiro are suddenly given a chance to live their lives over- and this time, to do it right. Unbound from the failures of their past lives, either by leaving their gender behind or leaving the familiar world entirely, they’re given a clean slate to try, stumble, try again, and struggle their way to achieve the fulfillment and self-actualization they were unable to accomplish before. At heart, Mushoku Tensei and Onimai are both stories about taking the lowest form of human scum, offering them a do-over button, and watching them work through their issues until they’re able to embrace their new life and be a functional human being at last.

It’s not hard to see the appeal of that story. The idea that even the worst, most hopeless person imaginable can turn things around and become a well-rounded person is one of the most inspiring philosophies to live your life by. And I fully understand why those messages resonated so much with people. Hell, I’ll even admit that some moments in MT- Rudeus’ reconciliation with Paul, his hopelessness spiral in the final episode- were so moving that I genuinely felt something for the guy in spite of myself. Bind’s animators aren’t just exceptionally talented at making things move on screen, they make full use of the medium of animation to convey their stories with some of the strongest, most emotionally potent cinematic storytelling in this entire damn medium. They take these stories of broken people trying to be better and imbue them with the kind of artistry that makes them sink into your very soul. You feel the weight of Rudeus stepping over the threshold. You feel the importance of Mahiru coming to terms with her new identity. At their best, these shows will make you believe in humanity’s capacity for change like nothing else can.

At least until the moment passes and it gets back to being horny for twelve-year-olds.

And that’s the smoking gun. That’s the reason Mushoku Tensei and Onimai are both such agonizing experiences. Because in these incredibly affecting stories of personal betterment, these expertly told stories of people overcoming their worst selves and becoming fully realized people, they’re never forced to outgrow their pedophilia. Or rather, the audience of otaku who see themselves in these shows and use them as inspiration to improve their lives are never forced to. Because no matter how much these characters grow or change, the shows they’re attached to still find time to put pre-teen girls in various states of eroticization for the audience to enjoy. No matter how these shows challenges their audiences to see the worst parts of themselves and work on being better, they never portray being sexually attracted to children as something you need to leave behind. Studio Bind sells a fantasy where you can turn your poor situation around and live a worthwhile life without sacrificing your desire to beat off to twelve-year-olds. Don’t worry, it seems to say. We won’t really force you to confront the reasons why society shut you out.

In other words, both Mushoku Tensei and Onimai send a message that says: “You can become a better person without actually fixing the worst parts of yourself.” And because of how fucking good Bind is at preaching that message, the anime community bought it hook, line and sinker. It’s almost impressive; finally, we have an omega universe KyoAni to balance out the cosmic scales. Never before have I seen such incredible talent and artistry so consistently put to such evil use. But allow me to burst the bubble for everyone taken in; this studio is lying to you. These shows are lying to you. If you want to become a better person, you cannot hold onto your worst impulses like this. You cannot treat the darkest parts of yourself as an acceptable hanger-on. You need to be better than these shows believe you can be. Because the second you accept the half-measures they’re offering as a win state, you’ve already lost the battle.

Also, don’t beat off to twelve-year olds.

Can’t believe I even need to spell that out.

Look, just like Mushoku Tensei, there are moments in Onimai that really soar. The comedy is fun when it works, the animation is infectiously lively, and whenever it decides to take Mahiro’s journey seriously, it’s unironically powerful stuff. But also just like Mushoku Tensei, there’s no way to buy into the strengths of Onimai without accepting a constant stream of sexed-up prebubescent fetish shots (greatly ramped up from the manga, I’ve been told). And there’s just too much good anime these days for this to be forgivable. Countless shows big and small have proved you don’t need to cater to the worst of humanity to craft something truly special. There’s no need to suffer through this slop when countless shows are doing way more without subjecting you to this agony at the same time. So until Bind learns how to weave its magic without dunking it in dogshit along the way, they will only ever be a stain on an industry with far too many stains already. For now, though, I can only give Onimai a score of:

3/10

Welcome to the end of Winter 2023. Expect my seasonal reflection in a week or two!

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #onimai #onii-chan wa oshimai!#onii-chan is done for #oniichan wa oshimai #onimai: i'm now your sister!#winter 2023 anime #winter 2023 sr

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