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writermai05 · 21 days

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Arsonist's Lullabye

Chapter 4: Build Again

Summary: Zuko has a crazy day at work

Pairing: Zuko x fem! reader (Live Action or Animated)

A/N: Surprise! Another chapter, before Friday. I may or may not post two chapters this week, but no promises LMAOO. Not revised because we die like men. As always feel free to leave comments or constructive feedback, as it helps me grow.

Word Count: 878

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Avatar: The Last Airbender, I am merely a nerd who hyperfixates a lot. Lots of divergence from the canon story lol.

Warnings: None I think.

Today started like any other, utterly uneventful.

Zuko had gone downstairs into the shop at eight in the morning to prepare for opening. Iroh went into the kitchen in the back and handled most of the cooking. Zuko had previously asked his uncle many times if he needed any help, but Iroh consistently refused. Although, he didn’t quite blame his uncle for that. The first, and last, time that Zuko had been let into the kitchen ended up in flames: literally. He had burnt dozens of fruit tarts and muffins. Admittedly, he was much better at understanding the science behind food, rather than actually cooking it.

He mopped the floors, wiped the tables, restocked straws and napkins, and prepared the various toppings, boba, jellies, and syrups. He found the process of opening quite therapeutic, no one was around to distract him and he was able to focus on the tasks at hand.

Fridays were usually their busiest days. The tea ceremony room often had large parties coming in, businessmen having meetings, clubs from the University having events. and of course the front open seating area was full. The Jasmine Dragon was a place where people came and felt welcome, regardless of who they were, and the idea warmed Zuko’s heart. He felt immense pride in his Uncle’s shop.

Today was busy, but there was no afternoon rush like there usually was. Students sat quietly, typing away at their laptops and wearing headphones to keep any distractions at bay. The tea room had absolutely no reservations for the day. Zuko kept himself busy by grabbing more pastries from the kitchen to sell.

As he ducked below the counter to put the pastries in the warming oven, he heard the chime of the door’s bell.

“Welcome! Give me one second..” He called out from below. Once he had finished, he got up slowly, keeping his attention on the warmer before finally addressing the customer. Making eye contact with them, his eyes widened.

It was Aang.

Zuko attempted to compose himself, before opening his mouth to speak.

“Hey…What can I get for you?” He said in a rigid way. He cursed himself for his inability to just act normal.

Though, Aang wasn’t doing much better. He stood there, eyes also wide.

“My bad...I thought Iroh would be working the register today.” He said, wincing at his confession.

“Oh. Well, I…Do you want me to go-” He asked gesturing to his left where the kitchen was. Aang shook his head, eyebrows scrunching.

“No! No, it’s okay. I don’t want to make this harder.” Zuko nodded, in response, walking back over to the register.

“Yeah. Um, what would you like to order?” Zuko hasn’t sounded this unsure while taking an order since he was 14.

“I’ll just get one wintermelon milk tea and a brown sugar boba.” Aang was definitely ordering for himself and Katara.

“Alright. Any toppings with that?”

“Just tapioca in both, please.”

Zuko nodded stiffly, punching the order into the screen.

“That’ll be 7 silver pieces.”

As Aang ruffled through his bag pocket and placed the coins on the counter, Zuko waited, hands anxiously moving around.

“Thank you, I’ll get those out shortly.”

He turned away as fast as possible, getting the to-go cups, and preparing the boba like Aang asked. ‘What are you doing! This is literally your chance to apologize.’ He thought to himself. He debated what to do for a while before settling. He finished up Aang’s order, ducking below the counter once again to retrieve some pastries for the boy. One egg custard tart, and one red bean cake. He knew Aang liked Egg tarts, but he had no idea what Katara would like. He grabbed a red bean rice cake, considering that it was probably a pretty safe option.

“Order for Aang!” He called out, placing the pastries onto the counter with the drinks. Aang hurried to the counter, looking at the things Zuko had laid out for him.

“I didn’t order any pastries…” He said confusedly.

“...I know.” Zuko said, with a nod, making strong eye contact with Aang. This was his chance.

“I’m sorry. For everything. I know this is not nearly enough for what I did but I hope you at least accept it as a peace offering.” Zuko intently watched Aang’s face, trying to get a read.

Much to Zuko’s surprise, Aang smiled.

“Thank you Zuko! This means a lot, really.” Aang smiled, grabbing a bag and straws for the drinks.

“Hey! Next Friday is Toph’s power disc game. Suki and the Kyoshi colorguard are performing too, with the band. You should come! You can talk to the others.”

Zuko pursed his lips and squinted at Aang.

“Respectfully, I don’t think that’s the best idea Aang.” He said, helping Aang with the bags.

“Come on, it'll be fine! I’ll be there and so will one of our new friends Y/n. I think she said that she met you here before.”

Zuko perked up at the mention of you being there. Maybe if he had the support of both you and Aang, it would be easier to get through.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.” Zuko said.

“Great! I’ll see you then. Thanks again Zuko!”

Zuko hoped he wouldn’t regret this.

#arsonist's lullabye #writermai05 #atla x reader #avatar the last airbender #prince zuko x reader #zuko x reader #aang #atla #atla live action #atla netflix #college au #modern au #katara #sokka #atla suki #toph #atla azula

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that-thing-that-feeling · 7 months

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I think It would be too predictable to reuse the idea of another character finding out how great Steve is. The Stonathan relationship HAS to be about Steve getting to know Jonathan by who he is, hopefully even admiring him by the things he had to endure even before the Upside Down.

We haven't seen if Jonathan was bullied directly at school (side note on the camera incident, for obvious reasons) but the "creep" comments seem to be more of a reputation thing coming from his family. As Steve said "The Byers are the disgrace of the town" On that note, the school might have recognized Jonathan as the guy who's poor, had a deadbeat ass father, and a mother with mental health issues.

In any case, Steve definitely thought of Jonathan that way, what he said at their fight was not something he was inventing, those were thoughts that he and the town thought about the Byers. I'm not saying he still thinks like that, but we haven't seen them interact and have a meaningful conversation never. This is the right moment for them to explore the misconceptions they hold about each other. 'Cause Jonathan might not resent Steve, but he definitely has an idea of him that we really don't know anymore.

And as much I love Jancy, I really wish they left Nancy out of this and let them focus on the tensions they hold that go beyond of their relationships with her. I want them both to talk about their own thoughts and behaviors. Let Steve remember clearly the person he was before the Upside Down, and let Jonathan talk about the camera incident, about how Steve came back that first time and the fight at the alley. I'm sorry if this is too much I just got caught in a Hyperfixation moment, English is not even my mother language, so all my sentences probably didn't make any sense. I'm just really excited about this silly gif they made that gives us a chance for Steve and Jonathan to finally get to know each other!!

Haven't really written you in a while, but still loving your blog <3 bye.

Of course you make sense don’t ever worry about that with language and thank you anon that’s v sweet <3

I agree they already had the “oh you’re actually not a bad guy” thing already with Eddie about Steve last season, so would they just repeat it with Jonathan about Steve? I mean I do think they want Jonathan to realize something different about Steve and but as you say, I would hope visa versa too, bc tbh they both don’t really like each other! And yes; they def have misperceptions of each other (Steve too, not just Jonathan) and it would be interesting to just see them talk, interact, and what has changed and what hasn’t.

I agree bringing back the love triangle was unnecessary and these dynamics would have been better explored without that being the catalyst or something. Like the history is there without it too.

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puffins-studio · 2 years

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This doll is brought to you by me hyperfixating on a project as I knew if I did it later I would forget and not do it.

Idea is from @bearinabandana and their post (https://puffins-studio.tumblr.com/post/690817403992539136/okay-i-love-her-outfits-it-lead-me-to-do-other)

This was really fun! 😂 I can’t tell if my design skills have gotten better or not but I tried an so sorry about his pants I really didn’t want to sew all the lines and I thought they would be funny. I also thought he would like a top hat so I tried to have fun with it. But I love the idea of the master still just making fun of the doctor with this outfit. Like imagine Delgado!master face if it was Dhawan!master who showed up in this outfit instead of Missy. He just look him up and down and is like “have you lost your mind” (lol now thinking that it funny is some how Delgado hasn’t seen any of the crazy outfits of the other doctors so when Missy show up he is a little taken aback but then he probably remembers something Theta wear and is just like yeah no that checks out)

I couldn’t stop imagining Missy being like and I have a special helper, and Dhawan master just walks out and offers Missy his arm and them just skipping together, Missy spinning her umbrella to be funny.

Maybe they can be talking with the doctor and are just “isn’t my plan supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-“ and the doctor (or both 12 and 13) just stare at them like this has to be a joke. One is like “a spoon full of sugar will help the poison go down”

Maybe one jokes that dhawan!master seem more like the riddler

If we are doing Mary poppins just the doctor falling down a chimney and the master jokes “someone didn’t step in time”

[ID: 1st picture is two felt dolls that is the shape of a gingerbread man with a big circle head, who are supposed to be Missy, and Dhawan Master from Doctor Who. They are standing next to each other with Missy in her Duck them outfit. Missy has a dark brown piece of felt that is the part of her hair that is pulled back and another piece that is her bun. She is in a navy version of her coat and skirt are navy with black edging. right hand have a light blue glove left have a yellow one. she have a orange question mark on her skirt, a handkerchief around her neck, it orange, light blue, and yellow with a little little felt cut out that is supped to be a orange slice. an orange umbrella. And then she have a navy little hat tilt on the left side of her head. It have a orange strip of felt for the ribbon and then little felt ducks and bubbles on it. Next to her on the left is Dhawan master He have light brown felt for skin, black hair with a fringe to his left, he have his beard. He is in and outfit that mix his and Missy’s duck outfit together. He have the yellow and blue gloves and socks. His black pants that are cover in orange question marks. His vest is solid black with orange beads for buttons and have a handkerchief like Missy’s in his pocket and at the bask if his neck with a little orange slice out of felt. He have black shoes and a navy version of his coat. And a top hat that is navy, with a orange strip of felt as a ribbon and little ducks with bubbles on top. 2nd picture, they switch hats. 3rd is a close of of Dhawan master without his hat.ID]

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silverghostblog · 3 months

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Info

This part doesn’t have to be read (it’s an infodump mostly) but it’s convenient :) I am killing the part of me that cringes at myself

More information will be added and changed as I expand on this character

Most info should be viewed ooc. This is mostly just bc the character is an oc but unless any info here is stated between characters, it would most likely be unknown (biggest example is his face)

Most info not on here will be on my main blog ( @mashedpotatosinacup ) in my Silver Ghost tag

Info for this character is constantly changing as I rotate him in my mind but I will try to keep this post updated

This is all very incomplete and very infodumpy but I’ll make official writings sometime or other

This oc is a bit of a Mary Sue but whateverrrr literally whateverrrr -

Basic info

Name: Elliot Lloyd

Age: 26

Gender: ?????

Alias: Silver Ghost

Pronouns: It/He

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Height: 5’7

Main Backstory (as of right now)

Silver came from generational trauma and undiagnosed mental illness at a young age. He grew up bullied and harassed until he finally escaped to college and moved out as soon as possible where he met Madison Valentino (Killer Cupid). He studied medicine and chemistry. He took up petty theft to get by, slowly building up his skills as time went on. He quickly became interested in how insane Gotham was and the heros and villains within. He spent more time studying, slowly driving himself away from everyone and into madness, believing that he could do it too and become something better than what he was and prove everyone wrong. In his rage, he’d end up killing someone (more to elaborate). He would be someone even if that someone was bad.

Silver’s biggest mistake has been trying to give himself powers. He was tired of just being a petty thief and ended up trying to use what knowledge he had of other villains to repeat the steps they did to gain their powers. He used what scientific knowledge he had to set up a fake lab accident. He thought it was working until he tried it. There was an awful explosion and he’d mutilated himself, making him hideous in his own eyes. His face looked deformed and his body looked monstrously scarred and ugly. He hasn’t been able to reverse it or feel better about himself, so he wears his mask whenever he can and doesn’t go outside a lot except for when he has to work in person in his civilian life.

After the whole ordeal, he started his villainous life. Even if powers didn’t work out, he could still do something.

Unorganized nonsense

Actually has really bad anxiety and needs like constant approval because the thought of messing up or making a mistake and ruining a relationship with someone (especially the rest of the krakens) terrifies him

Can have severe anxious and paranoid episodes where he needs to be alone in fear of hurting someone or being hurt. He has occasional panic attacks but hates them because they make him feel weak

He uses his villain persona as an escape when he’s by himself, seeing himself as a different person, someone who doesn’t care what people think, who can be bad and mess up and none of the people he care about would know and think he’s a loser

He fanboys so much over the other villains while trying to act cool and wants to be something better than he can be

Mad scientist esq kind of like a mix between both Dan and Herbert from Reanimator

Deathly afraid of fire

He wants to be perfect for everyone that’s around him because so many people in his past had left him alone. He holds in his excitement when out of costume and doesn’t talk about his hyperfixations because he doesn’t want to come off as annoying or overbearing. Eventually this leads to him being so focused on being perfect that he forgets to live and let himself experience things

The explosion did give him power (will expand on this eventually)

He has a hard time expressing his feelings and it often comes out more aggressive than he means to be but he doesn’t apologize because he doesn’t want to seem like less of a villain

Main voiceclaim is Charlie Slimecicle but I have others (full video is on my main and I have a part two in the works bc I’m indecisive)

He smells like metal and char that’s loosely covered by deodorant and cheap cologne

Freaking DORK

Personality

Silver is rude and short with people very often but he rarely means it, only assuming that’s how he’s supposed to act. Especially when he’s very focused on something he’s irritable and constantly insecure. He’s very twitchy and paranoid in general. He’s tough to get through to but he’s really very sensitive and soft. He’s scared and angry and assumes everyone dislikes him immediately so he always makes it a point to hate them first before they can hate him. It pushes people away but being alone makes him feel safe - or so he tells himself.

#☆~ooc #☆~info

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twilightofthe · 2 months

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writing patterns tag game

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

tagged by @loosingmoreletters thank youuuu but i feel bad i haven’t star warsed on main really since the depression diagnosis which has been a few years so the first 4 fics aren’t even SW ;_; Also i put some of my parts from our collab fics to make me feel better about only having published/updated two (2) solo things within the last couple of years xD

Ok but here goes:

1. It’s just after midnight and Wei Ying is mournfully attempting to wash away his blue balls under the tepid-instead-of-cold shower head.

2. Blacking out after summoning however many the fuck demons who live in your head into the living realm does not always last for long, because blacking out means means you’re retreating inside your head where the demons run amok and they really make shitty company for any extended period of time, so sooner rather than later you end up dragging yourself back to consciousness just to avoid them.

3. The thing about being dead is that it’s a very distinct sensation, putting things if not lightly then the only possible way to put them because how does one explain the feeling of death to someone who has never experienced it before?

4. “Hmm…”

5. After two weeks of traveling at sublight with only the distant, unforgiving stars and his own dwindling sanity for comfort, the far-off, twinkling gem of a planet through the viewport would almost be enough to make Obi-Wan cry if crying didn’t take energy.

6. The first time it happens can be blamed on Anakin’s love of questionable quality holofilms.

7. Whenever Anakin thought about maybe changing his mind on his shift-form, he always reminded himself of the massive amounts of hair over the furniture shed from Obi Wan and Ahsoka alone, and how he was more than happy to not add to it.

8. Considering what had happened the last time he was there, Din Djarin hadn’t planned to set foot in the same star system as Tatooine anytime soon, let alone on the planet itself.

9. Anakin was having a shitty day.

10. Trace doesn’t know how long it had been exactly since Ahsoka left them when the galaxy fell apart.

Ok, that’s the past 10! What i realize from them is that firstly, I’m an absolute run-on sentence whore and proud of it lol. Secondly, I internalized WAY too much paranoia about what constitutes a good hook because all of these read like “omg please be drawn in PLEASE be drawn in”. Like they’re not bad, but I can recognize myself and my intentions in my words and I see my eagerness. It’s kind of sweet.

Secondly, I realize that I do really miss Star Wars, but i think a combination of pandemic, a sudden depression diagnosis, and some unpleasant interactions ended up like. Tainting my memories of writing from that era and making it really hard to come back. Plus now I’ve got a newer hyperfixation and i keep reading a bunch of fic for it and stalking people’s tumblr blogs but also doing zero creation of anything to participate. I’ve gotten into some other fandoms in the past two years that make up the first four fics on the list, but even then it’s been hard to publish things that haven’t just been gift fics for my friends, jokes i can take a little less seriously, and collabs that make me less anxious as there’s numbers involved. I really do miss writing though. Like I’m a p decent writer I think, of course I’ve got much to improve, but reading through this and it is NOT as bad as I thought it would be, it’s good! But I wish I hadn’t abandoned so many sw fics, people have been so NICE, and it just feels like I’ve let them down. But I can’t even remember my original ending plans for so much of it and Disney continuing to leech all the joy and energy out of the series hasn’t helped either. But I am still insisting that I’ll be back one day. I will.

#i’ve got like 5/6 unfinished mdzs fics squirreled away on my laptop a few tolkien fics and even a few star wars fics left

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kiaxet · 7 months

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I didn't bother with word counts lol but for the DVD commentary

this bit from Lethal Measures:

"The slab flops over backwards, April releasing it as gravity takes hold, and underneath it is a Krang-

there are tentacles in his arms in his legs under his skin under his shell there is power in the ship there is knowledge in the database and there is the understanding that he is not himself and if he cannot keep himself together in the mind of this ship then he will be lost gone subsumed but he is torn away from the knowledge the power the ship but the tentacles are still in his body in his mind in his memories they never left he never left they are STILL THERE-

His mind snaps back to reality to find his body has acted in his absence: put itself protectively between April and the Krang, activated his tech-bo and his ninpo ( he’d never devised a weapon that could hurt the Krang but that had not stopped him from trying, long overnight hours in medbay keeping vigil over Leo’s injured form trying to think of a way to handle them if they ever came back ) in the form of an oversized and jagged-edged glaive, and locked down defensively, awaiting motion from the invader intruder murderer Krang. April’s hands are clamped on his shoulders, and she’s nearly yelling, trying to get through- “I told you, I checked it, it’s DEAD -”

Which is when Donnie’s brain finally processes the data his eyes are providing beyond the initial panic instinct, and he realizes what he’s looking at is half a Krang. The left half, to be precise.

Oh .

He sags as adrenaline loosens its hold on his system, and April lets go. “You with me, Mister Cold-Blooded?”"

And this bit from Site 39:

"Evidently Siobhan has the same idea, as she hasn’t taken her seat again. “How was Tahiti?”

“It’s a magical place. Amazing mai tais. A little rocky at the end, when my flight got rerouted to Vermont and I had to rent a car and drive five hours in traffic to get here, but that’s not Tahiti’s fault.” Or Vermont’s, but given that both of New York’s major airports were currently closed, the airlines were doing their best, and at least she’d had the foresight to not fly Southwest. She rolls her shoulders, sharply cracks her neck, ignores the wince from Fadi at the sound, and taps the edge of one of Siobhan’s monitors. “What are we looking at here? I saw the public reactions, but what do we actually have? Catch me up.”

So they do.

And Margo stares . Squeezes her eyes shut. Rubs her temples. Opens her eyes again and stares some more. She’d thought seeing public accounts would prepare her for the full explanation. She had been wrong. Holy shit .

She sighs, still trying to wrap her head around everything. “So we had an alien invasion.”

“Yep.”

“That came and went in a single day.”

“Yep.”

“And now we have an alien in the basement.”"

AIGHT LET'S GO

I wrote the first chapter or so of Lethal Measures in a Brand New Hyperfixation Fugue State, so a good amount of the writing process for this can be described as Brain Go Brrr. That said:

The slab flops over backwards, April releasing it as gravity takes hold, and underneath it is a Krang-

I am inordinately fond of using run-on sentences and fragments to signify racing thoughts or a breakdown, because the lack of punctuation rolls everything together into a rambling mess, which is absolutely the point. Donnie is just a touch traumatized by the invasion, but don't worry, He's Fine.

Bodies, especially well-trained ones, do some wild shit while on autopilot, and I enjoy playing with that, especially in prose. The one-two punch of the brain spinning in a breakdown while the body goes DAMMIT BRAIN I GUESS I'LL KEEP US ALIVE TODAY, followed by the brain picking the reins back up and only then taking stock of what the fuck happened when it stepped out back to have a brief scream into the void, is great to write. The reader gets to be just as surprised as the returning brain is!

I do tend to overuse parentheticals, but that's very much a style thing for me. I was taught that anything in parentheses could be removed without upsetting the coherence and the structure of the paragraph that contained them, and that is how I use them. It's fun flavor text and occasionally extremely rude on my end, just the way I like it. :D

(Also, had I been thinking, I would've specifically given Donnie a naginata, but fugue state meant I defaulted to glaive. Bitches love glaives. It's me; I'm bitches.)

Oh .

He sags as adrenaline loosens its hold on his system, and April lets go. “You with me, Mister Cold-Blooded?”

This is all just setup. Part of the payoff is a few paragraphs later, making a crack about the other half of the Krang; the rest is the upcoming repetition of Cold-Blooded as a descriptor. I intend to make it painful in chapter 3, whenever that rolls around.

Site 39 is my excuse to dabble in worldbuilding - enough to make the entire Turtle Torchwood series an AU in its own right - because part of my engagement with a canon is to poke at the holes, ask how things work, and make up my own answers that fit within existing parameters. I knew next to nothing about Bishop or the EPF when I started this, and now that I know more, I'm still planning on doing my own thing. I'm having way more fun with my little crew than I think I would with Bishop.

Evidently Siobhan has the same idea, as she hasn’t taken her seat again. “How was Tahiti?”

So they do.

Site 39 is also my excuse to shamelessly make references and inflict psychic damage on my audience, because I find it funny and also I can. To note for these, I watched a whole lot of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and I was one of the poor bastards caught in last December's Southwestpocalypse.

Also, there's always someone in a group that gets super unnerved when anyone else cracks their joints. Poor Fadi.

She sighs, still trying to wrap her head around everything. “So we had an alien invasion.”

“Yep.”

“That came and went in a single day.”

“Yep.”

“And now we have an alien in the basement.”

You ever come back from vacation and find that everything has gone straight to hell in your absence? Margo is having that kind of day. For most people, that means paperwork; for Margo, that means dealing with the fact that her day job now has a dangerous predator under glass in the basement.

Also, there's a big difference between getting your information from a reliable source and getting it from Twitter scuttlebutt. Margo at least knows better than to trust everything the Twitter randos are saying.

The meme is here; ask me things!

#Kia says stuff #dandywonderous #fic: site 39 #fic: lethal measures

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riotgrrrlhole · 2 years

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Just realized that the reason why my BCS hyperfixation hasn’t left after months is probably cause u guys keep feeding it , I always have been alone in my hyperfixations and now a bunch of people encourages every deranged thought I have instead of smothering it like every person in my life

#you guys are making me more insane #do it again #the bcs fandom #bcs fandom

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toasted-valentine · 14 days

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Analysis of the song “Choker” by Raincloud Halo

(Note: I do not own any of these characters, I am just very intense about artists I like, and my adhd is very unmedicated right now so I’m on my hyperfixation bullshit. All characters belong to @cynopter / @tobyisave, I am but a humble nerd who needs to let my energy out somehow.)

Cw suicide, strangulation, general violence, OCD, and intrusive thoughts.

Linking to the creator’s post about the characters, I’m just gonna go more in depth and speculate about specifics within the song and what each lyric could be alluding to. Again, send this dude bro all the love, motherfucker deserves it for scratching at the adhd parts of my brain and having such crunchy looking art. Anyways, if their art had a flavor it would be salty and spicy, and that’s my favorite, so go check them out.

Gonna go bit by bit, lyrics in orange, my notes in white.

“Veering off the path

With the devil on my shoulder”

Townsend went as far into the middle of nowhere as they could get to hang themself, they’re going off the already established paths to make sure no one finds them. People who kill themself will sometimes go out of the way to make sure their loved ones don’t find them. This is most likely what Townsend is doing, not realizing that it’ll trap her as a ghost. The devil line is a reference to the fact that their family and community blamed their OCD on the devil, so Townsend’s religious trauma is showing it’s hand.

“A sturdy branch that won't snap

And Baby's jacket dangling at my waist

'Cause he won't miss it when he's older”

First part is just referencing Townsend finding a branch that’ll hold their weight so that they can hang themself, the second bit is what I’m more interested in. Townsend stole her baby brother’s jacket to take with her as a reminder as to why she’s doing this, and I believe the line has a duel meaning. Townsend’s brother won’t miss the jacket when he’s older, sure, but he also won’t miss May. He’s a baby at this point, he hasn’t been hit with the consciousness beam yet, he won’t remember the older sister that died if she does it now.

“It gets really bad

I don't know why they're not scared of that

I only dream of hurting him

Now images of wringing him out”

Townsend is terrified of her intrusive thoughts, she had OCD and is suffering from violent compulsions. She wants someone to hold her accountable, to hurt her, to keep their distance so she doesn’t hurt them. It’s why she commits suicide, in her mind it’s the best possible way to keep her from hurting her brother since she loves him. She’s sort of hyping herself up in this moment, once more reminding herself as to why she’s doing this.

“No one ever tell you not to nurse the wolf pup?

Now I've gone and tied the ends off on this strife

Sorry, that's just what happens when you trust me with my life”

May sees herself as a dangerous creature, therefore is comparing her family keeping her around to keeping a wolf around. In her mind she’s just going to maul someone, so she needs to be put down for the greater good. She finishes tying the noose, apologizes one last time, and dies.

“The city

Good people passing through me everywhere I go”

May wakes up as a ghost, she’s officially the ghost at the towns end, and Townsend is figuratively born. The thing is, since she’s a ghost, no one can see her. Everyone around her seem like “good people”, better than her, and she’s stuck alone having to watch them. It’s like living in hell, seeing “normal” people just living their lives, and none of them seeing the supposed demon standing right by them. It’s why she lives in the edge of town, she can’t stand to see them.

“And I hate that you found mе

Don't want to have to say I told you so”

Enter stage left Phượng, she can see ghosts and finds Townsend. And Townsend fucking hates it, not because she necessarily dislikes Phượng, but because it means she could potentially hurt someone. As much as Phượng reassures Townsend that she’s not dangerous, she doesn’t believe it and is waiting for the “I told you so” moment. She’s anticipating the moment she snaps and hurts Phượng, and is fucking terrified of the thought.

“"Don't touch me, I'll kill you"

The devils will slip through”

Townsend is trying to keep Phượng and her brother as emotionally distant as humanly possible, it’s safer that way after all, at least it is in Townsend’s mind. Along with that she’s trying to get Phượng to lash out and exorcise her, to kill her and get it over with. It’s a fucked up way of trying to protect the two. The devils line is once again referencing Townsend’s religious upbringing and her belief that Satan himself is fucking with her brain and making her want to kill.

“But still you hold me to yourself in bed

Like it’s all in my head”

Phượng has full knowledge of Townsend supposedly being an evil ghost, and in spite of that, she still wants her. She still loves Townsend, she loves May, and still is completely comfortable sleeping next to May. Phượng knows that May would never hurt her, May can’t event stomach the idea of hurting someone, let alone hurting her partner. Phượng keeps telling May that it’s just in her head and that that there’s no way May would hurt her, pulls her close at night so there’s not the kind of distance May thinks is safe for Phượng, is insistent that May isn’t dangerous or evil. Specifically having it be when Phượng is sleeping next to May is something interesting to take note of, because she trusts May at what could be considered a person’s most vulnerable state. People can’t defend themself when sleeping, so it’s a big sign of trust and security in May.

“But it gets so bad

I don't know why you're not scared of that

I'm thinking of your broken body

Reaching in and squeezing softly”

Townsend’s worst night has started pulling itself out of the hellscape that is her OCD, the intrusive thoughts and homicidal compulsions have transferred onto Phượng. She’s started thinking about killing Phượng, and it’s hell. What’s worse is that the compulsions have gotten more gorey and violent, which scares Townsend. Even still, after presumably telling Phượng about her compulsions, Phượng remains a devoted partner and isn’t scared of May. It confuses the hell out of May, Phượng knows damn well what May is thinking about, and she still loves May.

“No one ever tell you not to play with fire?

Somehow got to hang me higher than your knife”

(Going to be so for real, I’ve got no clue what the knife line is referring to, so gonna focus on the other one. )

The line about fire has a larger meaning, May is comparing herself to fire, something dangerous and deadly. Thing is, Phượng isn’t scared of fire, she burns stuff often as offerings to her sister. May saying she’s deadly, that Phượng is playing with fire, but it’s a double meaning that helps show why Phượng isn’t scared of Townsend. Phượng can see the good in fire, the good it can do for her sister, and is completely fine around it. Townsend is fire to Phượng, but in the sense of the warmth and safety it brings, and more importantly the love.

“I swear to god

Stop saying that you trust me with your life!”

Phượng keeps trying to reassure May, tell her that she trust her, but it’s just cold comfort to May. May couldn’t even be trusted with her own life, how is she expected to be trusted with her partner’s? It’s the racing thoughts of not being able to keep a loved one safe, and all their reassurances not making May feel better. Sometimes loved ones say the wrong thing and can cause people suffering from a mental illness to spiral or lash out, being told this just makes May feel like she got handed a loaded weapon with a hair trigger on it.

“ "Choke her" Fuck Him" "Devil"

Why would I do that?

"Choke her" Fuck Him" "Devil"

Why would I do that?

Why would I do that?”

May is full in her own mind at this point, she’s scaring the every loving hell out of herself, and questioning why she’d even want to choke her loved ones to death. It’s scary, and she just is repeating the question over and over again in her mind. The three most common intrusive thoughts she has are full swing, the thought of choking Phượng, the thought of harming her brother, and the thought that keeps calling herself the devil due to her religious trauma. It’s bouncing back and forth between the compulsions and questioning why she’d ever even think of doing that. The bridge is basically just one extended panic attack May is having in her mind.

“Choker!”

Roll credits.

But seriously, this is just May calling herself choker, and the compulsion of “choke her” morphing into an insult in her mind due to the stress and similarity of pronunciation. Townsend has managed to find a way to turn her compulsion into a title/self loathing term by meshing the two words together.

“I lover her

And I love my baby brother

Love her (Devil)

Lover (Devil)”

May is reaffirming her love for her brother and for Phượng in her mind, along with accepting the fact she is in love with Phượng. She accepts Phượng as her lover and is willing to have that vulnerability, even tho her own low self esteem keeps causing thoughts that call her the devil. She’s trying to comfort herself with continued remembrance that these are the two people she loves most in the world.

“I’d never do that

(Choke her)”

I think this line can be read two ways,

•May accepting that she’d never actually hurt Phượng because she loves Phượng, even if the compulsions are still ringing in the back of her mind.

•Townsend having a crisis of conscious and desperately trying to cling onto the last bit of self soothing she can find when she feels like the intrusive thoughts and OCD are consuming her.

Personally I like the first one more because it leaves the door open for hope and the possibility of May being able to life a happy life with her lover. The mental illness may never go away, but she still knows that she loves Phượng and her little brother, and at the end of the day she’d never hurt them.

Moral of the story, intrusive thoughts don’t make you a bad person, there is no such thing as thought crime, and the Catholic Church should never be trusted with mental health issues.

This is just my own interpretation and analysis, I could be completely off the mark with this one, I just am having fun.

Again, please go check out the original creator, his work is amazing and he deserves more love for it. Their work really resonates with me, especially Choker with the fears of how intrusive thoughts could harm loved ones, and I think there’s a lot of good to be had in someone making stuff like this. Plus, the dude is just generally really skilled, and you can see the amount of effort it took to get to this point in his various artistic endeavors. I pray for that man’s wrist, the carpel tunnel must be so bad.

#raincloud halo #orange peels on fire #opof #not my oc #not my character #townsend #Phuong #cw ocd #cw violence #cw death #cw sui mention #cw strangulation #analysis #song analysis

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winderlylandchime · 1 month

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Hello, how are you? I hope life is going good and that you are spending your Saturday relaxing. I am coming to you with just a tiny update on my brother as a proof of life but also because it made me laugh when it happened and I thought maybe you’d appreciate it since you are the one who told him ao3 has a lot of shows he’s a fan of…I feel like a snitch right now but he discovered 2 things about ao3 by complete accident. And that is omega verse and that some people write incest fics.. I got a text that just read ‘werewolf porn?!?!’ So that was a nice way to start my day. And then like two hours later he found out some people write about incest and I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to convince him to continue using ao3. When I called him about it he said that he wanted to look into the other stuff he’s a fan of aince he remembered you told him so and he unfortunately discovered a dark side of it. So now he swore to himself that he’s only going to use ao3 for Britin. BUT he did also discover like a true grandpa with no social media presence that he got replies on his comments from you and Hannah Montana (his words, he only refers to them as that and I’m supposed to just know who he’s talking about) and he was very delighted because he didn’t realize it at all and then horrified that he didn’t realize it. He also got really mad when he realized you can’t leave kudos on each chapter which tbh, I fully agree. He’s genuinely still confused by ao3, It’s kinda like watching someone who is 60 try to use instagram or something like that. And then on top of that a few days ago he told me that he is worried that his love for qaf has died down since he hasn’t seen the show since he left and can’t watch it with the original soundtrack. And he was genuinely worried about that and then today at an ungodly hour I got a call saying ‘YOOOOOO BLONDIE WAS IN MR ROBOT!’ I don’t think he was even fully sober or even awake when he called me for that. Turns out he was at his friends house and his friend’s girlfriend had Mr Robot on and then she just left it playing while everyone hung out. And then Randy showed up on the screen and my brother -mid conversation with a friends new girlfriend who literally met him that day!!!- yelled across the entire apartment from the kitchen ‘BLONDIEEEEE’ and then apparently he proceeded to talk about qaf to the poor woman. I’m talking full breakdown, story lines, characters, actors, the fact that season 5 (and I quote) ‘sucks hardcore ass’…. So he got excited and happy to report to me that the love (and hyperfixation if we are being honest) is still very much alive. As if HE, the owner of many self made shirts, could somehow manage to escape it…And if you were wondering, yes he was wearing his Brian shirt during the party so I don’t know how he thought he was over his love for the show. Btw he was telling me about a fic of yours he was reading and he went ‘you don’t get it, they’re doing therapy together…Fuck I can’t believe real life Blondie is gonna be doing shit like this for a living now’ and that gave me a mini wtf moment because I completely forgot about Randy’s new career. So bottom line is: he is now scared to look up any shows he likes, he got a bit scarred because he didn’t read tags/doesn’t understand them AND he still talks about everyone’s fics the same way he did when he was living with me. Aka he just starts talking about it without any context or titles or links.

Dear sweet anon! I’m so sorry it’s taken ages to respond.

Oh sweet summer child brother anon! Yes, omegaverse and incest porn are on AO3… as he commits to using it only for Britin fics, warn him (or don’t!) about mpreg fics. Sooooo many pregnant!Justin fics out there and at least one pregnant!Brian fic that I can think of. All the wonderfully horrific fics on AO3 are exactly why I love it. Banning incest fics is a slippery slope to making any explicit content, especially queer explicit content (and all queer content is explicit to bigots).

I feel the anger about not being able to leave kudos on each chapter. And I also fully feel the excitement and joy of getting a response to a comment. Reminds me that I need to go respond to his comments!

I didn’t realize that one Mr. Randolph Harrison was in Mr. Robot, but there it is on his IMDb page!

Haha I’m only halfway sorry I put Justin in therapy so often in my fics because now Randy is on the other side of the couch!

I’m so glad his enthusiasm only temporarily died down. Unfortunately, it looks like you need to copy your DVDs for him because I got an ask a few days ago asking for resources to watch the series with the original (only correct) soundtrack and the fandom agrees that it’s no where to be found.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023 #2024 edition

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dapperinsanity · 7 months

Text

Don’t mind me, I’m just going to complain in this post lol. There’s things I want to get off my chest.

You want to know what sucks? FNAF used to be a huge hyperfixation for me in middle school for about 2 to 3 years. I didn’t know I had adhd at the time. After my friend group complained about me being annoying about FNAF, I gave it up completely. Which it’s weird because as a kid, I tried my best to focus on the current topic of discussion and only talked about it if it was brought up or if I was having a conversation one and one and had nothing else to talk about. Like, when giving it up completely I started gaining a weird hatred for FNAF. One day, the same friend group was discussing FNAF during freshman (maybe sophomore) year of highschool cause it was just brought up and one of them asked me about a fan game and I was like “I gave up FNAF a long time ago.” Then I somewhat got back into it after I left that group (we all split up for our own reasons) when FNAF 6: Pizzeria Simulator was out during late junior year. The enjoyment I had lasted for a good couple of months but quickly died down. Skip ahead like 3-5 years and the FNAF movie hasn’t really sparked up the same feeling of excitement/hyperfixation like I thought it would. Of course, I’m excited. I’m just like “cool”. It’s just weird because the people who knew back then and still now me would be shocked at the lack of excitement for FNAF as a whole. I even find it weird but it’s a little sad to me as well. Ah, but I’m still curious about it and I’m hoping we get answers/a solid story.

#text #vent #Adam rambles #op rambles #adhd #actually adhd #undiagnosed adhd #neurodivergent #fnaf

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zinzinina · 3 years

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This is just my little submission for the lovely @firstofficerwiggles’s wonderful Victory Ball AU event! I’m sneaking this drabble in on the last day; I hope that’s okay! x

Pairing: ARC Trooper Jesse x F!Reader Words: 500 CW: No warnings with this one! Just a soft little moment with Jesse.

It’s much cooler on the balcony. The night air is soothing on your cheeks, still overheated from the crowded ballroom behind you. Letting the noise fade as you step out, you aren’t surprised to find him leaning against the balustrade.

“Everything alright? You said you were just getting us drinks. I didn’t know you were going to leave me there with Tup and Dogma. I can only hear that joke about the Trandoshan manicurist so many times.” Your tone is light and teasing as you rest your hand gently against his lower back, feeling the flex of muscle under his skin as he straightens.

“Just needed some fresh air.” He catches your hand in his own, bringing it to his lips and keeping his eyes trained on your face. “Have I told you yet how beautiful you look in that gown?”

You smile. “Only a few times.” His usual seriousness is underscored with a peculiar tension and you step a little closer, until you’re beside him. The city sparkles; innumerable speeders and windows winking with lights all the way into the skyscraper-blurred distance. Billions of people; working late into the night, stressed and distracted. Curled up together watching holodramas. Asleep in their beds. It’s dizzying, the sheer number of lives here, and the thought of how fragile their safety had been.

“Do you ever think about it?” you ask him. “What might’ve happened if Fives hadn’t found it?”

“It’s all I can think about.”

You can hear the frown in his voice. Here, away from illuminated chandeliers inside, the black halo of his tattoo obscures his expression. You let your head drop sideways, resting against his shoulder. The stiff dress uniform feels starchy against your cheek, but it’s still softer than plastoid.

“I don’t think you would have hurt anybody.” You’re both still gazing outward as his arm snakes around your waist to hold you close, his other hand clasping yours. “Even if they’d... activated it. You would’ve fought it.”

“I don’t know.” He roughly clears his throat through a waver of some unnameable emotion. “Maybe I’d lose control of my own thoughts. I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself.”

“You would.” You don’t even hesitate with your response, voice firm.

He’s quiet for a few moments, his arm tightening around your body. There’s a burst of raucous, masculine laughter, muffled by the closed doors at your back. When he speaks again, he sounds unsteady. “I don’t... know who I am without the war. I don’t know what to do next.”

You nod to yourself, weaving your fingers between his. The Clone Emancipation Act hasn’t been passed yet, but it’s a near-certainty. The reveal and subsequent removal of Sheev Palpatine had left a vacuum of authority, one which senators like Organa and Mothma had been all too ready to fill. For a man like Jesse, who had lived his entire life unreservedly prepared to die serving the Republic, it must be a terrifying change.

“You can do whatever you want,” you murmur. “You’ll figure it out. You can go anywhere in the galaxy now.”

“We.” You tilt your face up to look at him, confused. He continues. “We can go anywhere in the galaxy.”

Backlit by the warm glow of the celebration behind you, the two of you stand wrapped close on the balcony for a good while longer.

Taglist: @kaorikoizumi @bvcketfvcker @saradika @mandaloriandin @whatanoof @thiccumz @smoldjarin @rexsjaigeyes @sgtdogmastyle @phoenixhalliwell @just-fics-i-read @tacticalsparkles @alucas528 @chromia7567 @sithwitch-crosshairs-toothpick @cannedsoupsucks @clanoffetts @delusionsxfgrandeur @bobas-missing-codpiece @ladyopress @writeforfandoms @pinkiemme @justanothersadperson93 @just-fics-i-read @fuckyeahbeskar @hyperfixation-archives @parkotedarasuum @space-b33 @14mcmd1122 @justanotherstarwarswhore @vaderthepotater @dangerousstrawberrypie @infinity-mars @the-grey-jedi @jakiejellybean @meabravo @techposting @galacticgraffiti

#clones victory ball au #victory ball au #arc trooper jesse x f!reader #arc trooper jesse #star wars fanfiction #the clone wars #drabble #thanks so much for this idea! what a lovely concept for a creator event #thank you for asking me to be involved x

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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

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If you're plate isn't too full, can I request a couple of fluffy hc's about Albedo with a photographer! s/o? Like, his s/o enjoys taking pictures of the environment and etc, and even take pictures of Albedo whenever he just does stuff, and Albedo enjoys sketching then whenever they just do a whole picture spree- they even exchange pictures too

Yes, my plate is too full and I'm confused why you guys don't see the request closed thingy in my description. But does it look like I care? No, I miss writing for Albedo and you're getting Albedo NOW-

Sepia Times

Albedo with a Photographer!S/O headcanons/scenarios... (event masterlist)

Ever since Fontaine released their newest device called Kamera, you had been so adamant in getting ahold of one that you ended up going on a travel spree to the said nation. Not even waiting for the shipment to Mondstadt, you left a quickly written note of your whereabouts before you left.

Spontaneous as ever, Albedo thought to himself as his grip on the note tightens with worry.

Luckily, three days later, you hailed from the Hydro Archon's land with your newest prized possession in hand. Triumphant and giddy, both of your lives changed drastically from there.

Albedo first and foremost, almost dismantled your Kamera. Actually he may have already done so behind your back, he was just caught the last time. He was really curious of its machinations and wanted to reverse engineer it.

He only ever lived because he was fast enough to reassemble it and show you that it still works. If not, you were already charging at him to throw hands. You did not travel for three days just for the Kamera to be broken. Whether he found what he was looking for or not, he's not allowed to touch it until he gets his own when the supply reaches Mondstadt.

Knowing your excitement, Albedo takes a sudden day off to accompany you in your Kamera spree, his own canvas and easel under his arm to also channel his artistic energy.

In just a day you managed to take 20 pictures, about to run out of film in just a day. Everytime you snap a picture, you gravitate to where Albedo is stationed to show off what you got like a crow and its shiny rocks. He finds it very endearing, stating his honest honey-covered opinion that makes you overjoyed enough to energize you to snap another, better picture.

The Alchemist sees the appeal of the Kamera and how immediate the replication of the image is. But he still glorifies the art of painting. He may not be able to capture constantly moving subjects but he can capture any detail he wants emphasized unlike the limited rasterization of a photo like that.

He watches you from afar as you skip over to different places and objects, face blooming with wonder as you position your device to snap. He dons a smile when you pull out the photo and wait for the image to materialize, and produce a chuckle when you sprint over to him to show the product. It's like your routine you developed in just a day.

So at times when he needs it the most, he will steal borrow your Kamera to snap a quick picture of something fast moving that he needs to observe immediately or wish to sketch/paint in detail in the future. One of the photos he had hidden for himself had a picture of you in your natural photographer environment as you dash around to look for a scene to capture while you wait.

What's it for? Well he made it into a more intricate painting during his spare time, presenting it to you with the little image taped at the top right corner. It was so beautiful that when outsiders were to see it after they were granted to access his office/laboratory, they always ask for the price for it. Something he adamantly refuses with the coldest glare the Alchemist can make. The negotiations usually end there.

Whenever he was far and you couldn't follow, like Dragonspine for example (the Kamera was still in development so cold temperatures might risk both the device and the processing), you always send him a picture for his thoughts. Either by asking Sucrose, Timaeus or the Traveler if they were en route to his camp, of course.

As you send one to him daily, Albedo started to look forward to your little mail every time. They range from very beautiful sights he hasn't seen before, images of the people of Mond who looks to be greeting him, or of you and the things that would remind him of you.

He keeps a haphazardly strewn journal for it, and in his camp was a board of his favorite picks, and all images of you are tacked on it. The Traveler enjoys watching his cold teal eyes light up whenever he brings the daily image, watching the picture board grow as Albedo tacks the latest one in with obvious pride and joy.

When he comes back to Mond, he brings with him his most beautiful piece from Dragonspine. You'd know it's special because everything is painted in detail, even the most unimportant parts of it. It's his gift for your little photo exchange and you have it put up on wall somewhere in your house.

When he gets his own Kamera, it was his turn to drag you to his photography spree. A little one-sided competition happens between you two where you try to one up the quality of his pictures, sometimes successful and sometimes you don't really... understand what he's doing, as he captures the strangest images.

Albedo uses his solar isotoma when you want to use it for better angles. Very supportive, as you'd hear a snap from beneath as you position your own Kamera.

The whole of Mond muses at both of your antics; as you two would most likely do the finger frame thingy impulsively when seeing something worth the attention, the people around you would chuckle at how cute you two looked, focused on your own little world.

He always gifts you extra films or anything related to photography when he can. Since he barely has time to go out sometimes, he has many backup gifts in bulk to whip out if ever he wants to pamper you with his material affection. Albedo is hyperaware of your hyperfixation and will always bring films the moment you run out, like foresight.

You can barely understand Albedo, despite the closeness you two had, he was still an enigma in most occasions. This was one of them. He had been binging on photography lately and everytime you look through the photos he captured, it didn't really make sense. The most random pictures that you wouldn't even dare use a film on strewn here and there, sometimes the photo is even cut off, and you'd think it was a mistake until he started organizing them in a system only he knows.

When you finally gathered up the courage to ask what all of it was about for, you were given a smile as cryptic as his album.

But as he pulls your hand with an excitement you've only seen when his chemical solution produces the expected buff, you somehow deduced that today would be the day you'd find out what the heck he was up to.

"It took longer than I expected it to be," he says as he starts unlocking a room in the Knights of Favonius HQ that you've never been in before, "but the end result was worth it."

Your confusion only grows as you were met with a face full of hanging pictures, most of it you recognize. Leaning over some and looking up on the higher ones, the amount of string and the confusing way they were set up, amazes you still with the amount of effort he had been using on such a big project.

Your untrained eyes loosely guess around 1000 films used for this.

The glass double doors that makes it way to the balcony opens loudly behind you. "Come here," you turn to see Albedo's silhouette open his arms against the setting sun behind him. "You're supposed to look at it from this distance." His arms engulfs you gently when you moved over, sending a gentle squeeze before he turns you back around to see the hanging pictures.

You gasp.

The depth and the splash of colors from this distance, aided with the sun, turned the hanging collage into an expertly placed collage as it shows you the bigger picture: a mold of your face of the first sketch Albedo made when you first met each other. The angles and colors measured to the dot to capture and replicate your beauty.

You feel his lips kiss the back of your head as you stared in awe.

Impromptu Albedo fluff yey

@albaedhoe @struggljng @heisenwurst @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #Albedo x Reader #genshin impact Albedo #exile.goblet #exile.flower #sojourner specials #gender neutral #fluffyyyyy #genshin impact headcanons

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chalky · 3 years

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My daily character analysis essay because I have an issue, my hyperfixation is so strong that I’m just trying to channel it into something creative at least.

Something minor that has bothered me since the end of the disc wars is everybody’s treatment, or lack thereof, of Tubbo. I am not going to come at this from the angle of him being a kid because I don’t want to infantilize him.

Nobody seems to realize that he nearly died for good that day, the only person besides Tommy that seemed to actively check up on him after that was Quackity, who seemed to be genuinely worried about him. But nobody else much cares how he is feeling, and I think this is something that sort of helps these negative views he has about himself.

Everyone whose opinion meant anything to Tubbo has told him he is a pawn or a follower. Wilbur, his general and trusted friend, called him a yes man even after all he did to help him. Dream, a perceived friend, treated him as expendable and didn’t even address him when threatening his death, directing his speech to Tommy the entire time. Tommy, in a moment of conflict and weakness, said he was worth less than the discs. And others, namely Jack Manifold and Technoblade, condescend him behind his back for being gullible or weak. He honestly can’t be doing okay, especially when he all but handed himself over to death because he thought the discs were worth more. It’s really sad to see him like this and even sadder that no one has really caught on.

A scene that stands out particularly was when Ghost Wilbur spoke to Tommy about the whole ordeal and told him he was proud of him, and Tubbo was right there and he didn’t even address him. Tubbo fought just as hard as Tommy did but had nobody to show him any form of affection after, besides his best friend.

Even now, a week later, Tubbo doesn’t really have anybody. Sam Nook has made it very clear he’s only looking out for Tubbo because of his association with Tommy. Quackity is preoccupied with other things and Tommy seems to be more focused on the hotel and his recovery (which he is allowed to be, I’m not really trying to demonize anyone for this). He sees Ranboo as a friend but it’s obvious Ranboo doesn’t fully trust him and he constantly bashes Snowchester to his face. Tubbo doesn’t have any form of support system and is left to flounder and just deal with everything on his own. Which is nobody’s fault really, nobody owes Tubbo anything and he hasn’t actively reached out for help, but it’s just really sad to see it. Ranboo has Philza and Techno, Tommy has Sam and Puffy, who does Tubbo have? Who actively checks on Tubbo to see if he’s okay and make sure he isn’t spiraling or becoming apathetic to the thought of his own death? (I’m sorry I’m still super bothered by how ready he was to die and how nobody has checked on him about this.)

So now here I am, watching this guy build up his little town and prepare to protect this only thing he has with his life, and I swear to everything if The Syndicate shows up to tear his home down I’ll riot. Tubbo is one of the most tragic characters on the SMP (people have made better essays about this point) and deserves his Snowchester and every shred of happiness he can get before shit inevitably hits the fan again.

(Also!! I’m going to acknowledge that most of this stuff may not have been addressed because he isn’t always in character in his streams, I just would like a little focus on Tubbos character in the future!!! Not blaming any cc for this in any way shape or form!!!!)

#dream smp #tubbo #character analysis #tommyinnit #ranboo

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444tsumu · 3 years

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HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!

▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?

includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna

warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.

authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3

This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO

𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !

definitely the philosophical stoner

always has a question or an answer

depends on how much he’s smoked though

eyes get really red and he looks really hot

prefers backwoods over regular papers

always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:

does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time

the hottest man smoking ever god please

always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first

loves smoking people out

doesn’t really care if you put in money or not

if issei is around, everyone is getting high

smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao

loves to hotbox

lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy

“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”

definitely funny as fuck when he’s high

always definitely ready to fuck

very touchy when he’s high

will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it

but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off

calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing

tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence

literally cannot formulate a single structured thought

definitely leans in to make out with you more than once

loves shotgunning with you

already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE

he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot

doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?

ate all of the snacks

has no remorse for his actions either

stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes

just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously

“do you guys hear that….?”

“…..no?”

“………..the paint is screaming at me?”

ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else

knows how to french & ghost inhale

has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat

doesn’t really think it’s flat

ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped

has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball

not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once

definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try

loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious

laughs at everything

just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking

falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though

treats it like it’s a regular hangover

definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight

says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason

he’s hot so no one judges him

𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !

definitely a comedian when he’s high

always the funniest guy in the room

when him and mattsun are together though?

undefeated

him and issei both smoked for the first time together

after that though?

they became unstoppable

don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended

prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao

everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high

offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao

makes fun of you when you cough

even though he still coughs

hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it

but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree

in his own words

“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”

makki please

ideal smoking partner

is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you

secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours

prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session

doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad

gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else

loves when you put your legs on him

the pressure gives him chills

makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh

can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since

takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool

realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball

falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on

does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so

has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it

gets really into music when he’s high

will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong

as i repeat

looks hot while doing so

definitely a hungry high

orders food before you even get to ask

“makki, want some snacks?”

“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”

“????? we just finished smoking????”

prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home

eyes get really low

talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot

laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute

gets cold when he’s high

it doesn’t matter the season

he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense

so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;

𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !

a confused high

no doubt about it

this man never knows what the fuck is going on

ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc

but i think it’s fucking hot lmao

always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times

is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it

“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”

“suna we just got here??”

“exactly”

likes joints and edibles the best

not much of a hungry high or munchie high

but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left

ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before

definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz

rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself

he doesn’t say much but when he does?

the man leaves an impact

hates smoking with other people

doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up

hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it

always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it

shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened

hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that

forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him

zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking

but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv

can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge

“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”

“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”

“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”

definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college

lies on his drug tests lmao

smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever

lmao seek help sir

definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment

swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high

doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before

all his supplies is a simple shade of black

he’s a simple man

can do all the smoke tricks

but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out

likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster

is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao

his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy

tears up every time he thinks about it

has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot

giggles even though he tries not to

uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him

doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls

once rin falls into a weed coma???

don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead

doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life

you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao

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bloodforhoney · 3 years

Text

bnha boys + hospitalization + hcs

the thankless business of quiet herodom — a series of snapshots, out of order. | 1 / of many

♡ 1.4K -- FT. MIDORIYA / BAKUHOE / KIRISHIMA / DENKI + READER. hurt/comfort. hospital visits, the leftovers of a battle, unhealthy thoughts, fluff. HEADCANONS AT THE END.

The After may not be the worst, but it doesn’t make it any better.

You are the first to heal, rendering the need to stay at the infirmary null. Attention is redirected at those deserving it. Still, you go back with peeled-and-cut fruit (apples, juicy pears, a helping of pineapple and strawberries), small gelatin cups, and soft snacks in bags so many and so heavy that they almost torniquet your arms. Denki tries to hog the best buys while Bakugou blasts him docile. Izuku plays peacemaker. And while none are looking, you give into favoritism and sneak Kiri a few sweets. His head keeps nodding off. That sleepy, huh?

Small scenes like this make the pit in your stomach heavier. Three reasons stand out:

(1) You have to see all the reminders of your failure as a friend. You were supposed to protect, not flounder. The reminders are the following:

A fissured tibia. It’s Denki’s right one, when he got caught, then immobilized, then knocked out.

Skull fractures, and the sutures, hidden by white bandage. This is why Izuku does not move his head much, if at all.

Kirishima’s cast. It’s got quotes and signatures and doodles from the whole class. Another reason to hand feed him. Doctors had said it was an issue of multiple fractures. You wish he hadn’t shielded you from multiple hits, but wishes are wishes.

Bakugou is the human embodiment of bruising. Purples, yellows, and blacks splatter his skin. He has several cuts across his arms, his left eye is still swollen, and strangulation marks pad up his neck.

(2) Because everybody is so busy, either recovering or helping others recover, it's easier for you to hyperfixate on the past.

You could have done so many things differently. If only you had been faster, or smarter, or stronger. You lack so, so much, and retrospective forces you to see the gaping chasm in your current ability and what you aspire to be. There’s room to improve upon - to expand, and transform, and strategize. But you only have so much time, and you know what you are capable of given a few months, and it makes you sick.

You are underqualified to be at UA.

(3) The guilt eats you alive. And it hurts.

From where you sit, you can see everybody, and how they fill up the beds, how well they have become used to IV drips and pain killers and the lavender-scented disinfectant used to polish tiles where they have previously bled on. It is a wide panorama of broken bones, fastened gauzes, and people who shouldn’t be hurting but are.

And you cannot take this pain away.

Next time, you think to yourself. Next time, I —

“Moonwalking much?” Denki waves his hand in front of your face. “Try this out! It’s sooo good. And stop sitting over there, come here - you’re lucky I’m not as fat as Bakugo.”

“Shut up fishsticks.”

“C’mon bakubro, there’s nothing wrong with gaining a few pounds!” Kiri pipes.

“AH?”

You lean (but not really, because you’re not about to push your weight) against Denki’s shoulder. Some warmth seeps from his clothes. You vaguely wonder why it’s not the opposite. You’re the healthy one, the one who got discharged at the beginning and hasn’t had to slowly switch from soft foods to tougher (normal) ones.

But the mattress beneath you is very nice, and the blankets smell of the dryer and flowers, so you stop making a fuss and eat each piece of pudding that is given you. The caramel is thick and it has a tinge of... you struggle to put a finger on the underlying ingredient.

“Denki, don’t eat this. It’s awful, and you might get a stomach ache, and who knows? Maybe even food poisoning, since it’s past its expiration — “

Jokes come out of you a bit easier, now. You get fed another spoonful.

“There, there. Told you they were good.”

“Would you like to have these ones? I’m still full from lunch.” Deku adds from your left, handing you a cute two-in-one package of yogurt and an aloe vera drink. You notice blue ink has already started to stain the side of his hand. He never stops planning and researching, does he?

Bakugo snorts, and then there’s the crinkling of plastic, the snap of a bottle cap, the satisfied sigh of someone, pages being turned by Deku, and the scribbling of his pen.

The setting sun warms the room. You decide to linger a while more.

(Nobody voices their disbelief at your lightning fast recovery, nor their worries for your body. Out of the gutter and back to your feet.

“Glad you’re feeling better,” sighs a voice you miss in your drowsiness.)

HEADCANONS BONUS

BAKUGOU keeps in mind the specific hour you’ll drop by. He absolutely refuses to acknowledge your arrival, but his ears perk up to cling to your voice and remember important tidbits. He won’t tell anybody he keeps track of time for you or that he gets a tad uneasy when you take too long.

>>> Might slip up later on and comment about something you didn’t expect him to recall. His care to know stuff about you is a big surprise, and you are not sure how to take the attention. (Keeps thinking of ways to beat villains up and it helps to stave off boredom. Gets cranky as the hospital days keep piling on.)

KIRISHIMA manages to recharge your social and emotional battery with contagious smiles and natural and earnest interest. Shares personal stories of past experiences on health, doctors and hospitals, and asks you about yours. Might also avoid talking about those things in general and focus on your thoughts about the past weeks and training and your pastimes.

>>> Looks up information about your hobbies just so that he might get to add a detail or two in the conversation to let you open up more. (Makes a pinboard of stuff he wants to do with the class and friends after he recovers. Bookmarks a few restaurants to visit in the distant future.)

DENKI makes sure to stay up-to-date with social media. Since he’s bedridden, he can’t do much other than chat online, but the amount of information he can get in a day is nearly laudable. He makes sure to have a topic of conversation whenever you come by.

>>> Sends you memes. Sends you so many memes. It could be 3 AM and there would still be an influx of curated rib-crackers. He employs his time only for the best of causes (and to make you laugh.) (When he goes back to class it’s like he never left. The amount of time he spent chatting or voice calling others paid off.)

MIDORIYA keeps careful track of the previous fight, the amount of lawbreakers who participated, and all their corresponding quirks, moves and teamwork, and timestamps are scribbled in the margins while questions are scrawled in pencil. He shares all his notes with you and actually manages to rest his busy-bee mind by just appreciating your form sitting next to him.

>>> Is not going to stop blushing for the next half hour for getting called out on his staring. Curls up in his blankets and wills the shame to go away. Really enjoys the backrubs you give him out of mercy. (Misses spending time with everybody else and feels more inadequate the more days he spends in recovery. Gets presents for when he comes back to the dorms.)

#bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha x reader #mha headcanons #midoriya x reader #bakugou x reader #denki x reader #kirishima x reader #fluff #angst #comfort #bnha hcs #bakugou imagine #kirishima imagine #midoriya imagine #denki imagine #「ill sing you a story」panacea writes #thankless business series

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