#I’m drawing all these doodles but I really need to actually like…so finished stuff these r a mess

[obsidiancreates]

Henry Spencer Is A Bastard (With A Broken Nose)

Shawn and Jules have been living together for two weeks when Jules storms into the precinct, grabs Lassiter by the arm, and drags him into the interrogation room.

“O’Hara, what the hell is-”

“You’ve spent time alone with Henry,” she says, sitting Lassiter in the suspect chair. “What was he like?”

“What?”

“This is important, Carlton.”

Lassiter sighs, looking around the room for a moment before answering. “Unpleasant and judgemental. He had every quality of a great cop but none of an actual person I’d spend time with.”

“Which for you is saying something,” Jules mumbles, looking to the side. “Would-would you say you think he’s capable of intentional child endangerment or neglect?”

Lassiter sits up more. “What? O’Hara, what is this about?”

Jules takes a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I was helping Shawn get some stuff from his old room, and we found an old journal from when he was a kid.It was mostly just doodles and half-finished homework, and he said to just throw it away, but… I kept it. I thought it was cute, to be able to look at what went through his brain as a kid.”

“O’Hara. If you’re alleging what I think-”

“I read more later while he was out with Gus and one of the pages was a failed writing assignment. He was supposed to write about what he did over the weekend and he wrote that his dad locked him a trunk and made him pretend to be kidnapped.”

Lassiter lets out a breath. “Okay. But you and I both know Spencer’s imagination-”

“Carlton, remember the kicked-out tailight? When he got shot?”

“O’Hara, I was with Henry through that whole investigation, and I don’t think I can say that the man I investigated with would purposefully hurt or neglect his son. He was like a machine through the whole thing.”

“There was more, though, Carlton. One of the assignments was to write about how they spent Easter and Shawn’s said he got cut on some glass trying to dig up his eggs. He drew a picture, it-”

She pulls out her phone and hands it to her partner. Lassiter looks at a crude drawing of a small stick figure on it’s hands and knees, overly-large shards on the ground in front of it, and an egg a good few lines below it. There’s a taller stick figure behind the small one, with a wide-open mouth and the words ‘You can do better, Shawn,’ written beside it.

The teacher’s note on the side says that Shawn needs to stop making up stories for assignments about his real life.

Lassiter hands the phone back. “O’Hara…”

Jules sits back in her chair a bit, the tension giving way to a slumped tiredness. “I know they’ve never had an… easy relationship, but Henry has always been so present, ever since we’ve known Shawn. I thought that was a good thing and Shawn’s discomfort was just Shawn being… Shawn.” She looks down at her hand in guilt. “What if I completely missed that he has reason, Carlton?”

Lassiter grabs one of Jules’s hands. “O’Hara, Henry Spencer is a bitter, unlikeable, and overbearing old man- but I really don’t think he’s capable of child abuse.”

Jules holds his hand back and gives it a squeeze. “I just… don’t know how to ask Shawn if these are real. He’s not exactly forthcoming about messy emotions and memories.”

Lassiter nods, and then blinks. “So let’s ask Guster. They’ve been stuck together like flies on a flytrap forever.”

Jules shakes her head. “If Shawn isn’t going to say anything, I really don’t think Gus will.”

“Well, you can either ask Guster if these are real, or you can worry about it forever and never get any answers.” Lassiter knows his partner well enough to know that’s unacceptable to her.

She gives his hand one more squeeze. “I’m just worried. Henry works here. He’s in charge of Shawn.”

“And I’m sure that when we talk to Guster about all this, we’ll learn that Spencer was just exaggerating like he always does.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gus reads the page with wide eyes. “Wait, he was serious about that?”

Lassiter stifles the urge to shout ‘Come on!’ when he hears Jules suck in a breath.

“You mean you knew about this already?”

“I mean, Shawn told me once that he liked Easter at my house way more because there was no ‘manhunt training’, but I thought he just meant something like when his dad would have him stakeout their porch.”

“He what?”

“It, sounds worse than it is. … I think.” Gus looks down at the old notebook again. “I thought. … I mean, Henry was always a little intense. When Shawn and I were boyscouts he used to set up challenges that were impossible to win, and then make us feel bad for not winning.”

“What do you mean, impossible to win?” Lassiter is starting to get concerned now. Shawn’s incessant need to show everyone up has been a pain in his ass for years, and if Henry reinforced that grating attitude and now acts like he tried to quell it-

“Stuff like telling us to go find a rocket in the middle of the woods and then going and grabbing it himself. He used to promise us ice cream if we won, then say he’d eat it himself if we didn’t win next time.” Gus’s face pinches the more he talks about the memories. “Gosh, I haven’t thought about that in years. I guess I didn’t realize how messed up that is until I said it out loud.”

“It’s horrible,” Jules says.

“But not criminal,” Lassiter reminds her. “And as… weird and dangerous as the eggs thing is, that’s not criminal either. … I think.”

“What about the trunk, Carlton?”

“... Yeah, that part’s looking pretty bad.”

Gus shuts the notebook. “We need to talk to Shawn about this. I don’t know if I’m even remembering right, but I know he will.”

“He’d never open up about something like this,” Jules says, gesturing to the notebook and letting her arms drop back to her sides with a flop. “He barely tells me about his childhood at all.”

“Well I was there for most of it, and I need to make sure I didn’t miss some serious abuse going down for our entire lives. Do you know how many times I’ve defended his dad to him, Juliet? … Oh my god, on that same boyscout trip with the rocket, he told me his dad had never said he loved him!”

Lassiter doesn’t need to look at Jules to know she’s probably seething with the rage of the entire underworld- if he believed in such a thing. 

Henry better hope they find out it’s not as bad as it’s seeming.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Shawn gets home, Jules, Lassiter, and Gus are all sitting on the couch looking somber. Well, Jules and Gus look somber. Lassiter looks mildly offput.

“Guys! What’s all this, are we having some kinda surprise party?” Shawn looks around for decorations, but there’s nothing. He looks back with excitement. “Is it a case? A big one?”

“Shawn, sit down, we need to ask you about something.” Jules gestures for him to take a seat on a different chair.

“Uh-oh. That’s not your happy voice.” Shawn sits down and leans forward. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

Jules takes a deep breath, and pulls out the notebook. Shawn looks at it. “Oh, that? Please don’t tell me that my drawing skills when I was eight are a dealbreaker.”

“Shawn, did Henry…” Jules falters. Shawn’s expression… 

It doesn’t harden, per say. It just… shifts. Becomes a little closed-off.

“Spencer, did Henry actually make you dig through broken glass to find ridiculous holiday candy?” Lassiter says, offering Jules his hand for support. She takes it.

Shawn’s mouth quirks up in the corner, a huff-laugh escaping him. His eyes aren’t as amused, a dark look in them. “What? How-how’d you know about that?”

“Oh my god.” Gus looks sick.

“Guys, seriously, what is this?” Shawn reaches out and snatches the notebook, flipping through it. Fast at first, and then slower. The slight smirk disappears completely, and Jules and Gus know that habit of sticking his tongue over his teeth means Shawn is not in a good emotional space whatsoever as he reads.

He closes the notebook and tosses it onto the coffee table, sitting back into the chair and sniffling. “It’s uh- it’s nothing.”

“Dude, that is not nothing. I thought you were making that stuff up when we were kids!”

“What? Why would I make that up?” That just seems to confuse Shawn.

“Because you were always making things up!”

“Not about my dad! You were like, the one person I could talk about him with! You thought I was lying about everything the whole time?” Now he looks hurt. 

“Not everything, but crazy stuff like him locking you in a trunk in the middle of a hot day and putting broken glass over your eggs, yeah! Oh my go- this makes me look back on everything I know in a completely different light, Shawn!”

“Okay, you can’t actually be this surprised, Gus. I mean, you were at my house all the time, you know how he was. We couldn’t even play hide-and-seek without me getting a lecture about hunting perps the right way.” The bitterness in his voice is familiar to his friends, the way he keeps from meeting their eyes, the arms crossed over his chest and tense body language. It’s not that they’ve never seen him like this. But they’ve never seen him like this and truly understood it. Even Gus.

Gus, who looks increasingly horrified as he thinks back on more and more memories. “When we were really little and you told me your dad would throw you out for reading comics, were you serious?”

Shawn scoffs a little. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Did he actually ban them?”

“... Yeah. That part he did. He said they made cops look bad.”

“Good god, Spencer, you’re talking like everything in your house was about cops twenty-four-seven.”

“Gee, Lassie, I wonder why. You’ve met my dad, right?”

“But you’re talking like he expected you to be a perfect cop from the second you were born.”

Shawn goes silent. He still won’t look at any of them.

“Oh, my god.” Jules reaches out to put a hand on Shawn’s knee. “Shawn, did he expect that?”

“... Look, guys, it’s… it’s done, alright? It is what it is, and… I’ve accepted that, and I’m working on making things work with my dad. I don’t… I don’t need this. Okay? I don’t want to think about it and get all…” He huffs. “Last time I thought a little too hard about all this stuff I ended up on my motorcycle with nowhere to go, and-and I don’t want to do that again, alright?”

“Shawn, this is important. We’re all working with Henry constantly, watching how he treats you, and this changes how some of that looks.”

“How?” Shawn finally looks at Jules, right in the eyes. “How does this change anything? He’s the same person, Jules. He-he’s controlling, and-and expects way too much, and is disappointed in me. That’s not different now just because you know he went overboard with stuff when I was a kid.”

Lassiter lets out a deep breath. He’d really… really been hoping this wouldn’t be the case. “How overboard, Spencer?”

Shawn looks at Lassie, and then clicks his tongue and looks away again. “Not in that way, man. He never hit me or anything.”

“So what did he do?”

“Why is this an interrogation?” Shawn stands up, pulling away from Jules’s outstretched hand. “This is stuff for me, and my dad to hash out, okay? Just me and him.”

“Did your mom know about this stuff?” Gus asks. 

The mention of his mom seems to make Shawn shut down even more. “Now this is really over.” He walks away, and pauses for just one second to turn around and say, “Don’t- don’t go my dad about all this. I don’t want…”

“... Don’t want what, Shawn?” Jules’s voice is soft and careful.

Shawn doesn’t seem to be able to find the end of the thought. He just shakes his head and walks back out the door.

The three sit in silence for a minute. Jules has tears in her eyes. Gus looks almost shellshocked.

Lassiter stands up. “Alright, I’m officially taking lead on this case.” He looks down at his partner. “O’Hara, find out who in the precinct knew Henry well and still works there. We’ll interview anyone who he might’ve talked to his son about, see if we can dig up any leads there.”

“Whoa, Shawn just said he didn’t want his dad finding out we’re asking about all this, and we just learned he’s way worse than we thought,” Gus says, standing up too. “We can’t start poking around the precinct, because in case you forgot Lassie, he works there!”

“Part-time.”

“He’ll know something is up.”

“Please. I think I know how to run a discreet investigation, Guster.”

“Could you hide something like that from Shawn?”

“... Of course.”

“No, you couldn’t, and if you can’t hide it from Shawn it’s a safe bet that you can’t hide it from his dad.”

Jules stands up. “No, Carlton is right. None of us realized how these pieces fit together until we all talked about it with each other, right? If Shawn won’t… can’t, open up to us about it, the next best thing is getting as many witness statements as possible.”

“Why? It just feels like digging things up to dig them up at this point.”

“Because Henry is currently in charge of Spencer’s livelihood, Guster.”

“I know! He’s in charge of part of mine too!”

“Right.” Jules looks up at Lassiter. “And if we can prove to The Chief that Henry has a negative, unreliable bias against Shawn, we can lessen some of that control!”

“As much as I’d hate to see Spencer off the leash again, I’d hate to be helping enable an abuser even more,” Lassiter agrees. 

“Abuser is a strong word.” Gus doesn’t look like he feels that sentence is 100% true. “He wasn’t all bad a lot of the time. I mean, he loosened up on the comic thing when we were older.”

“We know he cares, Gus,” Jules assures. “But, caring doesn’t mean he didn’t do something wrong. Really, really wrong.”

Gus swallows, and then nods. “I know.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They collect a good few statements over the next week.

One statement claims that Shawn would play poker with some of the officers when Henry brought him to the station- why Henry was bringing a seven year old to an active police station and then not keeping an eye on him was something that went unanswered- and that Henry was obviously upset when he discovered this. Another statement corroborated the story, and added that he caught sight of Henry taking all the money Shawn made from the games and shoving it into the police donation box.

One statement was from an elderly file sorter, who claimed that Shawn was sometimes sent down to grab files for his dad and used to complain to her that henry would only buy Shawn cop car toys, and no others. When she’d asked Shawn if he wanted to be a cop when he grew up, Shawn had reportedly said quote, “Something about not getting a choice.” Other statements claimed, when this was brought up, that Shawn seemed very excited by the idea of being a cop when he grew up- until his arrest.

One statement, given by someone Lassiter vaguely remembers being rookies with back in the day, lends more credibility to the recollections of the elderly woman. The statement claimed that when the rookie would go on ride-alongs with Henry or work under him, Henry would almost always complain about Shawn. Everything from Shawn having an interest that didn’t relate to being a cop, to Shawn ‘acting like a child’ when he would have been under twelve according to the timeline, to Shawn ‘not even trying’ during a specific incident where Henry claimed Shawn forged his signature to go on a field trip and quote “hesitated for a second with his pen or something- I remember it was something really minor, and Henry couldn’t stand it. I thought it was weird that he was teaching his son how to forge signatures and then expecting the kid to never use the skill, but it wasn’t really my place to say.”

By the end of the week, Jules is steaming and Shawn hasn’t come around the precinct at all. Gus keeps dropping by, digging up old journals of his own to use as cross-references when possible. Shawn is quiet with Jules at home, like he’s waiting for something big to happen and he’s worried he could trigger it early.

It makes Jules more upset at Henry, because now her boyfriend’s emotional immaturity seems a lot less like a natural childish nature and a lot more like having genuinely never been taught how to handle anything.

No, according to the information she and Lassiter have gathered, it looks like all Henry taught Shawn was that winning is everything, being the best is non-negotiable, and Shawn was born to be a cop and anything that didn’t align with that idea just… shouldn’t be there.

“Wow.” Lassiter tosses the latest statement onto his desk. “And I thought Henry didn’t discipline Spencer enough as a kid. Some of this stuff makes it sound like Spencer grew up in a boot camp.”

“He basically did,” Jules says bitterly, reading over one of Gus’s old notebooks. “Gus wasn’t even looking for evidence of it, and these journals are full of casual, offhand observations that look worse and worse the more we know. Listen to this one. ‘Today Shawn was in a bad mood, and when I asked him why he said his dad stole his mood ring after showing him to turn the box upside-down. I said that’s cheating, and Shawn said it can’t be if his dad said to do it.’ Who the hell steals a mood ring from a kid?”

“You’re getting caught on the small stuff again, O’Hara.”

“I know, I know. I just- now that we know some of the major things, even the small stuff is making me just unbelievably angry.”

“Yeah, it’s rough to read. At least you and I wanted to be cops.”

“Right? No wonder Shawn ended up a psychic detective, how do you just do something else after being raised so specifically like that? And no wonder he-he buys EasyBake Ovens and goofs off all the time, he had it so strict as a kid…”

“Mmmmm… let’s not excuse every antic, O’Hara. A lot fo it is still just him being a jackass.”

“I won’t get into this with you again, Carlton.”

“Good, I don’t want to get into it again either. … Heads up.”

Jules closes the notebook and tucks it into a desk drawer as swiftly and inconspicuously as possible, Lassie doing the same for his file. Henry walks past them, barley sparing a glance as he makes his way somewhere else.

Jules stares daggers at him so intensely that if dropped to the ground covered with enough puncture wounds to imitate Julias Caesar, Lassiter would think it was a mild scene all things considered.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s three weeks since Jules found the notebook when Shawn rolls over in bed, puts his arm around, and mumbles “I have an eidetic memory.”

Jules puts her book down and looks at Shawn with furrowed brows. “What?”

Shawn sighs and sits up properly. “I have an eidetic memory,” he says again, “And… I don’t like looking back, because I remember everything perfectly. Which means I usually remember what I felt perfectly too, and it usually wasn’t great feelings.” He can’t look her in the eyes this time, either, but instead of the tense, protective body language of before, he’s holding a pillow close to his chest and slightly burying his face into it, almost sagging around it.

Jules starts to rub his back. She knows how hard this kind of… difficult emotional discussion, is for him. Now she even knows why- suspects why, really, because not all of it is proven in full, but still she thinks she can cout is as knowing. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“About the memory?”

“Yeah. That sounds… really difficult to deal with, Shawn. Does Gus know?”

“Yeah, he knows. I think other than my dad, and… and you, he’s the only person who knows.”

“Shawn…”

“I just, I just want you to know… that I’m not asking you to drop it for no reason,” Shawn says, “Or-or because I don’t feel like it’s important. I know it is, I do. I just…”

“Don’t want to relive a lot of it,” Jules says softly. “... Shawn, does this mean you remember everything perfectly? All the time?”

“Eh… fifty-fifty. The ADHD gets in the way sometimes.”

“... But when it doesn’t?”

“I just try not to think about a lot of it.” Shawn moves again, to look her in the eyes, He takes a deep breath, and he looks a little pained. This kind of thing is painful for him, he’s so unsure how to navigate it. “I have to keep moving forward, Jules. It’d be so… so easy to just get stuck, forever, in all the stuff stored in my head. And I’m really, really trying to, I mean that. It’s difficult, and I’m not… always great at it, but I’m trying.”

“And you’re worried we’ll set you back?”

“No! No, I… I don’t know.” Shawn lets Jules pull him close to her chest and begin running her hand through his hair. “My dad and I don’t solve stuff, Jules. We just… argue over it. I’m getting tired of it.”

“... I understand.” She kisses the top of his head. “But I don’t like him being in charge of you when you’re a grown man anymore.”

“You think I do? … But it’s making him a lot happier than he’s been in a long time.”

“You should be happy too, Shawn.”

“Hey. Hey, I am happy.” He looks up into her eyes. “Look at me right now. I’m being cradled like a sweet little baby seal by the most beautiful, badass woman in the entire world. Of course I’m happy.”

Jules laughs a little and contorts a bit to kiss him on the mouth. “I’m glad you told me that, Shawn. And I promise, I won’t ask you to relive anything else for me.”

“... But you’re not going to stop investigating my dad, are you?”

“Did you stop with mine?”

“... Fair enough.” Shawn lays his head back down, and soon enough Jules hears soft snoring from him and mumbled phrases in his sleep.

…

An eidetic memory. Perfect recall.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Jules goes over everything they have so far knowing Shawn has a perfect memory, it makes her angry to such a degree that she thinks it might kill her. Not literally, but it feels strong enough.

She has some of Shawn’s old report cards, some statements she got from former teachers via social media contact, and some copies of pages of one of Gus’s old journals laid out in front of her, and she sees a pattern.

Shawn didn’t do good in school. His report cards are less than average, and are packed with notes about how he doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t seem to absorb any information, and doesn’t remember anything he’s taught. The statements from the teachers describe Shawn as hyperactive, passionate about everything but his schoolwork, and having difficulty with staying observant in class.

Gus’s old journals are full of the same, but also the opposite. Shawn didn’t pay attention in school, but sometimes he could pull something the teacher said from his memory word for word without even trying, and then a few entries later Gus would mention Shawn failed a test on that exact subject. Shawn got beat up because he told a bully he memorized the pattern of answers used in the math tests, but his dad told the teacher and let Shawn know he was doing it. And most of all, Gus writes about how freaky his friend’s ability to look at people and figure them out is. How Shawn notices almost everything almost all the time, and usually makes some dramatic conclusion that isn’t right, but he still notices things and Gus can’t figure out how Shawn fingers things out.

Detective training, and an eidetic memory, and psychic visions. Jules is now pretty sure that Shawn covers up some of his deductions using his visions- he’s known enough impossible information that they can’t possibly all be deductions in disguise, but when she thinks back there’s a few times where it’s obvious in hindsight he used his abilities to cover up the fact that he’s an incredible, highly-trained detective.

Maybe she’s jumping to a conclusion, but she finds herself thinking ‘Because Henry made him hate that he can do it so well,’ as she pieces it all together.

Gus’s journals lend a lot of credit to that theory. Shawn is smart, and Gus knows it, but Shawn acts dumb sometimes and Gus doesn’t understand why, and then Gus mentions that it’s weird that Henry kept Shawn up all night before to stakeout their porch and now Shawn is tired during Little League and Henry tells him to get his head in the game because Henry is the coach.

Henry is the coach, Henry is the chaperone on the field trip, Henry is their Scout Master- he’s in charge of every part of Shawn’s life except for school. And Maddie is rarely brought up, even when Gus writes about spending all day or night or even weekend at the Spencer house. Jules hasn’t seen Shawn’s Mom since Yang almost blew her up, and she just figured that Maddie wanted to stay out of Santa Barbara after that, understandably. She’s getting a different feeling about Maddie staying away now. It seems a lack of presence was her main impression in Shawn’s life, or at least, Shawn’s life through the lens of Child Gus.

So it was basically just Henry. And her heart aches for the thought of someone being stuck in a bad marriage, basically raising a kid alone, and that kid being as hyper and curious and chaotic as Shawn. But the ache is smothered in the sense of righteous rage when she reads other entries about things like a girl throwing a ball at Shawn and missing, and an ostrich choking on the ball, and Henry dragging Shawn away. The entry goes on to say that Shawn told Gus that Henry didn’t believe him when he said he didn’t do it, even after then-superior officer Captain Connors came in and tried to vouch for Shawn.

Henry always assumed the worst. Assumes, the worst, still.

Shawn tries so hard, sometimes, with his dad, and Jules is starting to realize that Henry doesn’t put the same effort in. He tries some, she knows it, she’s seen it, but she also sees him constantly berate, put down, and insult Shawn, publicly and privately. 

Suddenly she remembers something from when Shawn went undercover on the dating show, something she’d been too upset over about Shawn being there at all to really take in in the moment.

“I’m sorry, this woman is way too good for my son. If it was me, I’d vote no.”

She doesn’t have Shawn’s memory, so without rewatching the clip she can’t be totally sure those are Henry’s exact words, but she’s certain that it’s the exact sentiment.

First of all, she takes a little offense to that for herself. But secondly and more strongly, she takes offense for Shawn. As she thinks about it she can remember the way Shawn tried to cover up the awkwardness in the clip, the way the girl on the show whispered “Is this a joke?” and the way it absolutely was not. The way Henry said that on TV, to Shawn’s face, with no hint of shame.

“O’Hara.” She looks up to see Lassiter holding a cup of coffee and a bagel for her. She takes them and Lassiter says, “There’s more steam coming out of your ears than there is that cup.”

“Sorry,” she sighs. “I just… I don’t know if I can control myself tomorrow when Henry comes back in. The more I dig into this, the more I want to just- go back in time and pick little Shawn up and take him somewhere better.”

“Well as much as we don’t like it, O’Hara, Spencer is who he is because he was raised the way he was raised.”

“I know. And I like, who Shawn is!”

“Inexplicably.”

“Carlton.”

“Mmm.”

“Anyway… I love Shawn, and who he is, all of him, but I still wish he could’ve been who he is without going through all of this. It’s not okay.”

“No. No, it’s not.” Lassiter sighs. “Look, O’Hara, put the case down for a while. At this point we’ve got enough to at least make The Chief doubt some of Henry’s intentions and judgements when it comes to Spencer and, well, that was the goal.”

“... Yeah. Yes, okay, I will… I will put this down for a few days.” Jules closes up the file and puts it back into her drawer. “Shawn is still less than happy I’m working on this, anyway. He understands why, but I know he wishes he didn’t.” He probably understands a lot of things he wishes he didn’t. Jules has had to grapple with the realization that she actually doesn’t know as much about how Shawn’s mind works as she thought she knew, and that it’s possible she’ll never know a lot of it. There’s more than just psychic visions to the mystery of his mind, and some of those mysteries are locked up with a key cast out of self-resentments and resentments of his dad.

God, she hopes she can keep up a poker face when Henry comes in.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her file is missing from her desk the next day, and so is Lassiter’s. They both know why.

They march over to Henry’s desk just as Gus comes in to collect a check, and all three end up standing over Henry as he openly and unashamedly reads through the Spencer Upbringing Case File. Gus takes a step back when he realizes that’s what’s happening, as does Lassiter.

But not because of Henry.

Jules looks murderous.

Henry purses his mouth in a frown and nods, raising up the file and then closing it and tossing it onto his desk in one smooth movement. “It’s comprehensive,” he says, like he’s grading a paper. “But it’s a bunch of biased bull.”

“Give them back.” Jule’s voice is ice-cold. 

Henry shrugs, moving his head side to side for a second, still frowning, and then says, “Nah.” He takes the files, and drops them in the trash. “I think you owe me an explanation for why the head detective and his partner are investigating the way I raised my son. Why’d Shawn put you up to this?”

“He didn’t.”

Henry scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Jules slams one hand onto Henry’s desk. The whole bullpen goes quiet.

“I was helping Shawn get something from your house, and I found a notebook,” she says. 

“Oh, so, you found one of Shawn’s little projects where he exaggerated things to make himself look like a victim of the world?”

“I found the writings of a little kid who didn’t seem to realize at the time of writing that being locked in a hot car trunk and digging through broken glass for Easter Eggs wasn’t normal.”

Henry laughs, crossing his arms. “That’s what you have a problem with? It’s called training, detective. You went through it yourself.”

“When I was an adult, by my choice, and I sure as hell never had to dig through glass.”

“You’re really hung up on that.”

“Because it’s genuinely evil!”

Henry’s smug look melts into a scowl. “How dare you.”

“How dare I?! Do you understand how much all of this is still affecting Shawn, even right now?! He can barely talk about all of this!” “Oh, well, he sure seem capable of reminding me of it.”

“Because you did it! You’re the only other person in the entire world who understood what was done to him in the name of training because you did it!”

“Done to h- you’re overreacting, detective!”

“I, agree, what is going on out here?” Chief Vick hurries over to Henry’s desk from her own. “Detectives, there had better be a damn good reason-”

“There is, Chief.” Lassiter reaches into the trashcan and pulls out the files.

“Karen, Detective O’Hara has allowed her romantic entanglement with my son to-”

“Henry was borderline abusive during Shawn’s childhood,” Jules interrupts, facing her Chief. Chief Vick’s eyes widen and her mouth drops open, a disbelieving laugh escaping her even as she accepts the files and flips them open. “You understand what it is you’re alleging, O’Hara, and against who?”

“I do, Chief, and I think our case file speaks for itself.” All eyes are on them now. Jules doesn’t back down. “I’m well aware of my emotional ties to this case, but I assure you I’m not allowing it to cloud my judgment. If I was, I wouldn’t have used the word borderline to describe the conclusions I’ve come to.”

“Karen, this is ridiculous.”

But Chief Vick is focused on the files in her hands. Her eyes flick up to Henry. “Is it?” She looks over to Gus, who’s been watching with the quiet tension of a prey animal waiting to make a run for it. “Mister Guster, can you genuinely testify to the validity and accuracy of the claims in these files?”

“Oh, um, well, most of those are from my own journals.” Gus’s eyes flick between Henry and Jules. “I’d say that’s even more reliable than just plain memory.”

“It certainly is.” Chief Vick turns her eyes back to the file. “Henry, I think after I’m done going through these we’re going to have a chat about some of your current responsibilities and extent of authority over consultants.”

“Oh, come on, Karen!” Henry looks around at the entire precinct staring, and judging. “This is completely unfounded, and-and blown way out of propor-!”

Henry doesn’t finish the sentence because Juliet O’Hara punches him in the nose.

There’s gasps from everyone in the room. Jules’s fist is bloodied. Henry’s nose went CRUNCH! when her fist made contact.For a long moment it’s like the whole room has collectively stopped breathing. 

“I don’t make unfounded accusations, Henry,” Jules breathes. “Especially not when I have been building a case for over a month, and have watched Shawn completely close off whenever I asked him about this.”

Henry holds his nose, looking at Jules with fear that Lassiter and Gus don’t think is nearly intense enough. “Juliet,” Henry pants, blood streaming out from between his fingers. “This is insane.”

“Quiet, Spencer.” Lassiter moves Jules a little farther away. Her fist is still raised. “I won’t tolerate you disrespecting my partner, especially not in the same way you do your son.”

“What?! You can’t believe all this too, Lassiter.”

“You know I’m not Shawn’s biggest fan, but if you think what O’Hara has done over the last month is anything less than the best damn investigation possible then I have to seriously reconsider some of our shared opinions of your son’s work.”

Gus glances at a box of tissues on Henry’s desk- and then subtly moves to knock them on the floor and kicks them away.

“Herny, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the precinct for a few days while this gets handled. O’Hara, I’m going to need to speak with you in my office.”

Jules lowers her fist, and nods. She knows she can’t just punch Henry and get away with it scot-free, and she accepts that.

No-one moves to help Henry. Not a single soul. He grumbles as he makes his way past Gus to grab a different box of tissues.

“It’s like he just sucks the respect out of people,” Henry grumbles. 

CRACK!

No-one is more surprised than Gus when his fist slams into Henry’s jaw. Gus reels away immediately, shrinking and cradling his hand, as Henry goes down.

“Mister Guster!” Chief Vick moves forward to try and catch Henry.

“Uuuuh!” Guss whines, shaking his hand. “I-I mean, you don’t get to say that about Shawn! He asked us not to keep doing this! You gotta stop assuming the worst of him all the time!”

“When he earns it!” Henry barks out, then groans and spits. It’s mostly blood.

“You won’t let him earn it!” Jules is furious again. “How many killers does he have to catch for you to see that your son is an amazing man?!”

“It’s not about catching killers,” Henry says, spitting again. “It’s about growing up.”

“Says the grown man who can’t even tell his son ‘I love you’.”

“He doesn’t say it either.”

“That’s not helping your case, Spencer.” Lassiter has his eyes on Jules and Gus. “And considering I’m the only one on said case who hasn’t taken a shot at you yet, I’d say keep your mouth shut.”

“Oh, what do you know.” Henry spits a third time. The Chief looks about ready to punch him herself. “Father-son relationships are complicated, especially when the father wants what’s best for the son and the son just wants to throw everything away and get himself killed!”

“You wanted him to be a cop, Spencer, you didn’t exactly put him on a path to a peaceful and easy life.”

“I put him on the right path, and he never appreciated it, and that is what your case file should say!”

“You know what, Spencer?” Lassiter takes a step closer to the bleeding man. “I’ve put up with a lot of crap from both you and your son over the years, and you two are a lot more similar than you think. But one thing I can say that Shawn has over you is that he doesn’t mean it when he says stupid crap like that.”

“He looks up to you, you ass,” Jules adds. “And he is willing to put aside all of the things you say and do to him to have a good relationship with you. Do you understand how incredible that is? That you don’t even have to work to have him in your life? That he comes to you no matter how many times you tear into him for it?”

“He comes to me because he never listens when he needs to.” Henry’s face is starting to become very purple as the bruises set in. “I don’t know what he’s been telling you, but he needs, my help.”

“Exactly! And he feels like you’re reliable enough to give it to him, and you do! So why do you treat that as though it’s a fault? Do you have any idea what I would have given as a kid, and even now, to be able to just-just go up to my dad and say ‘I need help,’ and have him be there to help me? That means the world!”

“Not to Shawn.” Henry looks pained beyond just the broken nose and possible broken jaw. “The kid is too focused on himself.”

“You don’t know your son at all, then.” Jules turns and walks with The Chief to her office.

Gus shakes his head, grabs the check out of Henry’s paperwork pile, checks that it’s signed, and leaves. 

“Oh, really? It’s up to me to take him to the hospital?” Lassiter looks around and then huffs. “Alright, Spencer. Don’t bleed on my seats, or my dashboard, or anything but yourself.”

“I’m not a bad father,” Henry says, still holding his nose. “I care about my son.”

“Yeah, and somehow Shawn knows that even though you act the way you do.” Lassie buckles Henry in for him so that the nose remains pinched. “But here’s the thing, Spencer. Your son is an arrogant, attention-hogging, impulsive, completely absurd person, and he didn’t just become like that out of a vacuum.”

“Yes he did. I did everything I could. I did everything right as much as possible.”

Lassiter sighs as he gets into the driver’s seat. “You seriously think that? You’d be okay with your grandkid being raised that way?”

“If they had Shawn’s potential, yes.”

“... Dammit.” Lassiter turns to Henry, and punches him in the gut. Henry coughs, and then chokes on his own blood, and then coughs again.

“What the hell?!” Henry gets out between hacks.

“O’Hara would’ve done it. I feel like I owed it to her. … And honestly, Spencer, after compiling that damn case, I’ve been wanting to do it for myself anyway. I already knew you were an overbearing perfectionist with a control issue, but you wishing your son was more like that than he is is even worse.”

“Shawn’s no perfectionist,” Henry wheezes. 

“But he is overbearing with a control issue more often than not. Like I said inside, you two are a lot more similar than you think, and frankly I blame you for the parts of Shawn that go past mild annoyance and into infuriating obstacle.”

“I’d never just hand a collar over to save someone’s ego,” Henry coughs out.

“See, that’s where I wish Shawn wasn’t like you.”

“He’s handed you a collar twice.”

“What? He has not.”

And Henry must be a little delirious from the repeated blows, because Lassiter is pretty sure his next words of “See, this is why Shawn should’ve been head detective,” wouldn’t come out of him otherwise.

Lassiter grips the steering wheel tighter and makes a sharp turn into the hospital parking lot. “Well he’s not, and from the sound of things he never would’ve been anyway.”

“He could’ve been a perfect cop.”

“He’d have been miserable and you know it.”

“He’d be doing things right.”

“You’re hopeless.” Lassiter isn’t any gentler helping Henry out of the car than he was helping him in. “I’m not picking you back up when they’re done with you.”

“I’ll call Shawn.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you will.” And Shawn will come, and probably be mad on his dad’s behalf, and will definitely be mad at all three of the punchers, because he loves his dad enough to overlook years and years of mistreatment that most people would probably consider ground for cutting contact. “And Spencer? If you ever insult O’Hara’s work again, or say anything that gets her that angry, I will help her cover up your disappearance.”

“You don’t mean that,” Henry scoffs.

“Try me.” Lassiter gets back in his car. “And if I hear from her that you’re still badmouthing your son to his face, I’ll make you disappear myself.”

And then he drives away. 

And Henry walks into the hospital alone.

#psych #psychusa #psych usa #psych 2006 #blood tw #blood mention #violence #juliet o'hara #carlton lassiter #burton guster #burton gus guster #shawn spencer #henry spencer hate #I hate Henry Spencer #psychfic #fanfic #my attemps at fanfic #abuse mention #child abuse mention #past child abuse mention

[nomsfaultau]

thank you so much for writing mandatory family reunion. i just reread it for the eighth time. i think im going to dedicate my life to life to reading your other sbi fics until you update again. also; do you have any tips for committing to fics and not leaving them half-finished?

ahhhh that’s so sweet glad you enjoyed! As for writing fics, having it be your special interest really helps. But for more general advice on finishing:

-Don’t stick to just one story. Which seems counter intuitive! But inevitably you’re going to hit a snag in one story. So instead of stopping writing at all, switch projects. Writing involves a whole bunch of thinking, and stuff needs time to percolate in the back of your head. But having a small project to work on in the mean time keeps you engaged in the writing process, gives you practice, makes you feel like you’re making progress, and allows time to work out the other story. I personally have 1-2 main projects, Fault and MFR, and then rotate a couple back burner stories that I work on whenever I get inspiration and fully expect to have very slow progress and possibly never finish. Short stories, one shots, hell even just writing little one off scenes that don’t go anywhere. It’s a way to keep writing fun and thus you’re more likely to continue working on the stuff you’re trying to complete. Don’t feel bad if there’s breaks between working on your main project. Writing involves a lot of thinking and it takes time to do that.

-Devoting time to do that thinking also significantly helps. When you’re falling asleep can be a good time to rotate stories in your head. Could also be if you’re walking from place to place, or brushing your teeth, or other little gaps in the day. Even if you’re not physically writing, it’s still part of the process and can make it easier when you actually sit down to write because you know what scene you’re most excited to work on. Also, talking over your story idea with a friend is a great way to stay motivated if you can get over the mortifying ordeal of being known. You can bounce ideas off them, and other people’s investment in a project can be a great motivator to finish. Like legit a single ao3 comment once stopped me from my plan to abandon a fic. Reminding yourself why you (and other people) like the story makes it easier to want to continue.

-Keeping a rough outline of what you envision for the story can give you a road map to how close to done you are and where to go next. Just like you can hop between projects, I find jumping around the plot time line to write what scene I’m most interested in atm keeps me going instead of writing everything in order. Though, all writers have different degrees of plot planning, so that depends on your style.

-Art! I’m an artist, and while writing definitely fuels what I draw, I find doodling cool scenes I want to write really inspires me to keep going. This sorta falls under the same category of continuing to think about the story and motivating you to finish. -I found keeping a writing journal has improved how I view my writing. Basically, I’ll jot down a bullet point list of scenes worked on that week/month. Writing is a very slow process, so seeing a timeline of actual progression on a story makes it feel like I’m actually getting more out of my head and onto paper. I also jot down what ideas for scenes I came up with since that’s also part of writing, and might include a chill no stakes writing goal for that period, like work on X or Y project, or a particular scene. Sometimes my goal is just ‘write at least one sentence’. I give it lots of leeway, and accept that the muse may just be somewhere else that week. And if the goal isn’t met, no sweat! Life can get busy at times and it’s more important that you aren’t beating yourself up if it’s been awhile since you last touched a project. Forcing yourself to write a scene that isn’t ready won’t result in a good scene or an happy writer. Switch projects, give yourself time to think about it, take care of yourself, etc.

And, legitimately, don’t be afraid to abandon a piece. Maybe you’ll come back to it, maybe you won’t. It can feel disheartening to feel like you can’t seem to finish a project, but unfinished pieces also do a lot for you: they hone your craft, allow you a creative outlet, give you scenes that could potentially be reworked for later pieces, and most importantly were hopefully fun to write! Story crafting is a hobby that should bring you joy, not frustration and shame.

Like, I have stories that will never see the light of day and are just so I can have fun and poke it with a stick occasionally. I’m 100% confident in saying that every author will have tenfold the number of unfinished wips compared to complete works. That’s just part of the creative process: exploring different worlds to find the one you want to write.

Perhaps a fic might never get finished, but in the wise words of Technoblade: “if you enjoy it, it’s not time wasted, no?”

(Now, I think he was talking about murdering people, but the point still stands.)

#I mean besides my novel I’ve only completed like 6 fics out of dozens of ideas #Only one of which had multiple chapters #Well and truly having a bunch of random wips is normal and expected #Muses are flighty write to have fun with it #Ask #writing advice #creative writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writers #writing inspiration #something to nom on

[creaturefeaster]

this post is sponsored by uppsulka

This post has nothing to do with Uppsulka I just had this doodle sitting for like a day. I just wanted to talk about my last post-- that ask about CQ’s story and the likes. I’ve gotten a handful of messages about it since I answered it (+a couple replies on the post itself) and I wanted to clarify a couple of things.

Please, if you’re worrying that I’m overworking myself, or pushing myself to put stuff out that isn’t ready yet, know that I am certainly not under any pressure to put things out before their due time. I share lots of tidbits about the story on this blog of course, but you may notice that any actual, physical writing for the story is virtually nonexistent on this blog. If I wanted to, I could have shared the drafts long ago, but I’m taking my time and making it perfect (for me). It will be out when it’s ready, and you don’t have to worry about outside pressures/lack of quality.

Another thing! Some of the messages I’ve gotten were in response to some of the tags on the post, as I am known to ramble quite a bit in the tags from time to time. I mentioned the possibility of me seeking out artistic help in the future. The amount of people wanting to help is heartwarming, it really helps me realise just how many people want to see this story come to fruition. However there’s still a long road before the real, official art for the story will come into play.

Finding the right people to help with such a personal project of mine, if I so choose to go down that fork in the road, would be an arduous process in making sure I know and trust those people and their abilities. (I’m also really picky about how my style is drawn, if people were to help. But that’s a discussion for another time) Not everyone has all the time in the world, either! This is a long term project. Keep in mind this story has been developing for over a decade, and while it’s only the last handful of years that I have really kicked everything into overdrive to try and fully piece it all together, it’s still probably got a while to go before I could ever consider it complete. So please, keep all of this in mind.

As I continue structuring and polishing the written story, I wish to release it in divided chunks. When any given chunk comes close to its finish, I’ll be having beta readers scour the texts for a little bit. Placeholder sketches would ideally be littered throughout the story as needed, but by beta reader’s judgement, more or less may be added. That right there, once the beta reading is done, is the end of the road to visuals-ville. That is to say, that’s when I’d start actually drawing out the things that I need.

So now you have some insight on how the process would work. Was it all necessary to explain? Probably not!!! But if I didn’t ramble so much, I don’t think I’d be able to write this story, either. It’s so big x_x.

All of this could be (and probably should have been) summarized to this:

For those who want to help, for those who truly enjoy the content I create for my universe and want to see more of it, I just ask for your support. Seeing likes, reblogs, reading the tags or comments people add onto the content I share, they really, really help keep me motivated. Every piece of fanart makes my day, whether I comment on it or not, I’m always behind the screen getting all giddy and excited that someone cares about the characters and world I’ve poured my heart and soul into. All the asks you guys send, while I can’t always answer all of them, it lets me know there are still people who are interested in the world and want to know more about it. That’s what keeps me wanting to write. So if you want to help, that’s how you can do it right now.

#i'm a very quiet person so i know i don't comment on a lot of stuff sent to me #but if you are reading this. if you have created fan content and wondered if i've seen it or not. #i probably have. it's all that's on my mind when I have the time #and my god the amount of video edits and color-overs of my sketches that i have saved from various people... #thank you guys for your support <:3 #and i hope you're all staying warm and safe if you live in the northern hemisphere #especially if you live in the US right now. -70 degrees. what the fuck.

[dokidokitsuna]

Working on Magical Friends: Doki’s animation “pipeline”

…Since this is still an incredibly basic 1.5-man operation, it’s not much of a pipeline. ^^; But I wanted to put together a little thing to show the public how I do what I do, and if this sounds doable or interesting to you, I’m always on the lookout for more volunteers! [email protected] is my official ‘art business’ email, just FYI~

So let’s start by taking a look at this GIF preview of a finished scene:

I chose this sequence because it’s probably the longest and most complex one I’ve done so far. The character rotates, the scene pans up, I got some spinny light effects in there, lots of weird stuff I’ve never done before. (●u●;;) But it came out alright in the end, so let’s examine it.

So before I start thinking about animating, I refer to the work of my storyboard volunteer, Greytan. They actually gave me just one simple shot:

Which I extrapolated into…what I did. ^^; I don’t mean to ‘ignore’ their boards, and I hope they don’t feel slighted when I do things like this, it’s just that they are genuinely a much more skilled and more professional animator than I am, and our brains just don’t work the same way so sometimes I have to diverge a bit. :P Or, y’know, sometimes I come up with a great idea of my own that I really wanna try, which is probably what happened here.

Anyway, my first step after looking at boards is to grab a pencil and paper and draw the shot: a picture that lays out what the scene will look like, with either the starting frame or a key frame, and the background included. As you can see, I doodled some of my ideas for how the sequence would progress, which is good, because after drawing this I wouldn’t return to this shot for like 6 weeks. ^^;

When I finally did get back to it, I grabbed a second piece of paper for Step 2, which is the actual ‘animation’: using the shot as a base to draw the rest of the frames that will go into the sequence. This is where my lightbox comes in handy, although usually I can see through the paper well enough to just draw wherever. ^^ [Fun fact: in my early days, I would just scan the original shot, erase it, and replace it with the next frame, drawing each new frame on the exact same piece of paper. I am…very glad I don’t do this anymore]

Now, animation is mostly guesswork for me. ^^ I mean, my guesses are pretty good, but they’re still guesses, which is why I call myself an amateur. It’s not me downplaying my skills, it’s just me admitting that they aren’t based on solid expertise or experience (yet).

When I animate a shot, I try to make sure each frame looks like it has movement in it all by itself. Gesture drawing, dynamic posing; those are things I’m already good at, so when I animate I make ‘em work hard for me. >:3c

The end result comes out looking kind of like a sprite sheet:

And I do use these drawings kind of like assets; Step 3 is to scan them (along with the initial shot) and use them to ‘construct’ the frames that go into the video editor. This is the step that takes the longest, where I clean up the sketches and color them and paint the backgrounds (separately, if necessary). It’s not as difficult as Steps 1 and 2, but it’s a lot more tedious.

So naturally, sometimes I like to make sure my sprites actually work before I start all that…work. ^^ So I throw together a test animation based on what I have:

And this did help-- it assured me that the first half with Mago would probably look fine, although the second half with the magic light-thing probably needed to have a cleaner sense of direction and more frantic movement as it ascended. When you’re working with a low frame-rate, you generally want things to move a LOT or hardly at all; you don’t want any of that in-between stuff. So I took that into account when preparing the “finished” product. I put “finished” in quotes because I’ll probably adjust the timing of the frames a little when I move to the video editor (Step 4, which I’m not going to talk about here). But yeah, that’s pretty much it. ^^

Generally when I think about adding artists to the team, I’m thinking about them doing Step 1, Step 2, Steps 1 and 2, or Steps 1-3 (so basically, completing a full sequence of frames that I can just add in). For me to hand sketches to someone and expect them to do Step 3 alone would require a level of trust that I’ve never had in any fellow artist before…but idk, anything can happen in the future. ^^;

#if you like any of my strategies feel free to gank them for your own projects #knowledge is power #kirby #animation #magical friends wip

[peejsocks]

johnny,steveo + bam (seperate)dating an artist reader who's always drawing them and them being super sweet and supportive of it (fluff)

she her pronouns im dumb :))

a/n: sorry it took me so long love

disclaimers/tags: none. just fluff

johnny

at first, he doesn’t understand if it’s a hobby or your job

you tell him it’s both and he goes “oh. okay.”

he struggles to understand at the beginning because you keep hiding your notebook from him

until he catches you in the act

you joined him for an episode of wildboyz, currently sitting in the passenger seat of a van capturing the view with your pencil

he scares the shit out of you, head poking in through the window

“sweetheart, that’s incredible!” with the goofiest grin you had ever seen

johnny begs for you to show him your drawings all the way home

when you finally arrive in your place, silently taking a case you kept some of your favorite drawings in and setting it on top of the dinner table, you’re nervous

his brows furrow at the sight of countless drawings of him and you blush

“can I keep ‘em?”

he keeps at least one rough draft of his profile around him at all times

the bedside table in his house, the one in yours, his wallet. the inside pocket of his favorite jacket.

every time you meet, now, he asks if you have any new drawings to show him

whenever he likes one too much, you have to fight to decide who gets to keep it

“johnny, it’s good for practice, I need to look back at my work to see how I’m improving” “that’s really selfish, what about my needs?”

you begin keeping the rough drafts and giving him all the finished pieces

it’s too flattering finding your drawings hanging up in his trailer on set to resist

steve-o

the first time you draw him, you can’t wait to show him

“hun, what do you think?” “is that me? oh, that’s gnarly, dude. look at the detail!”

turns out he’s excellent at critiquing, giving surprisingly helpful insights

constructive criticism is his specialty, always managing to be supportive and impartial

actually, steve is the one to encourage you to get into an art school

“you’re already so good, what’s the harm?”

soothing you when projects stress you out, sitting next to you and calmly asking which part you’re struggling with

sometimes you can’t help but get annoyed, feeling overwhelmed with your art becoming a chore

in those moments, he’ll plant a kiss behind your ear and step away saying “just remember, I’ll probably love it”

constantly having your work shoved in people’s faces by your boyfriend

“dude, look at this! the complementing colors, the depth, it’s so pretty, right? we should fucking frame this”

he’s using the same words he’s heard you use before, incorrectly. it’s very, very cute

bam

possibly the most supportive

he thinks it’s incredibly cool that you have a real talent

sometimes he seems more excited about it than you

he buys supplies you don’t even need

“bam, this is like too pro, I’m alright with what I have” “I saw it online, trust me, just try it”

drives you to lessons, periodic classes you take at the local community college

nags you about what you’re learning

“nothing really. just working on what I already know.”

“what? we should find something better, you could really go far with this”

definitely has you design stuff for cky and jackass

lets you doodle on him and surprises you by turning it into a tattoo

turns into a puddle when he finds you drawing him, saying you make him look a lot better than real life

“just draw what I see” “you’re so obsessed with me, it’s creepy”

not so secretly loves it

you catch him looking at the ones you gift him with often

“i look rad”

giggling, you answer “you are rad, babe.”

#johnny knoxville #bam margera #steveo #jackass fanfic #jackass headcanons

[winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts]

Come and Trick or Treat! Open all year :] tags updated Nov. 28

Intro?

Howdy!!! Pronouns —> she/he/they (no preference)

Wolfy (wolf character I doodle sometimes) is my blog mascot. Unreliable sleep schedule/forgetful/message notifs don’t show up- so if you need me uhhhh keep yelling until I notice? Hdfjhfg..

I love drawing, listening to game playthroughs, and looking at cute animals! Feel free to send an ask about anything.

——

Tags!!

Art tag: wolfys art

Cool art by pals: grand showcase of arts

Doc says something: wolf chats

Art months stuff (all of them!! general tag): Just Here To Have Fun

Kiley and co stuff (commonwealth): little wastrels

second fallout au (island, custom location for an rp): badlands crew

Misc fandom tags (unreliably tagged but I will start now): qsmp, good omens, fallout, bg3, whump stuff, starfield, doctor who

important/tagged consistently: psa, boost (urgent news), reblogging for future reference (general tips), promo (friends news), flashing images, bright colors

"You have to reblog!" And similar phrases: rebait

Minor misc tags: drawing tips, writing tips, cooking tips, fave,

Note- these are not tagged reliably: ghouls/zombies, blood, skeletons, suggestive (no explicit things here), bugs and spiders, guns, drug use, smoking, all caps

——

Unimportant ramblings v

Time stamp: Jul 15? Heeeeey. Hello. So I did take a break from art till like last week, but uh, the health has been a roller coaster-

I kinda cleaned the whole house compulsively multiple times. I dunno what to say about that. Went from the compulsion to be Always Drawing to Always Doing Chores, so it wasn’t really a break? It felt amazing for a little while, but I am so stressed inside ahagfhkhdf. Anywayssssss.

I realized that promising to do the art requests Later is just me returning to old behavior, like just... keeping it on the line so I /nobody gets a direct answer *when* it will be done. That makes my brain think it’s in the clear while the other artists are worried and unsure what’d happen. Andddd even though I did have the motivation to do animated group projects for a little while, a small thing completely knocked me into dropping everything else.

I know I *could* try to join more projects or do more requests, I’m not in a safe headspace where I wouldn’t be set off, and nobody should risk their project’s deadline for that-

TLDR I’m going to Try and fix things up on my end and stop myself from joining anything (that depends on Every artists effort). Even if I feel alright *now* I know there’s a lot of risk for *later*- just don’t let me in anything big and important even if I ask, please- for at least a year-

—— Timestamp: Slightly Before August

Gonna Try Ink Demonth this year- I’ll limit myself and not do something too detailed again hsdkfjzhk.

——

Timestamp: August 17

[cackles evilly] Ink Demonth Ink Demothhhhh- this is the furthest I’ve ever gotten in an art prompt month ever! ...even though I’m technically not on theme (Fallout instead of Batim). Trying to pace myself by alternating between a simple and detailed style. Hrrrh the yeehawgust prompts (cowboy theme!) look so cool but I won’t double up- but I will try to participate in the September AI-less-Whump month. (gore and dark subjects! I’ll tag everything properly of course.)

Also I’ve come to a realization- A dream of mine has been becoming famous for my art/animations, but uh- One, it isn’t realistic, and Two, posts getting like 200 notes freaks me out cfjhxfgh- Well, doing stuff for friends and others is just as cool. Y’all are awesome ^w^

——

Timestamp: Aughust ninteen

Wait actually I don’t need a reason to block people. I don’t need to tell you either. It’s been getting a bit too chummy around here (reference)

——

Timestamp: September 4

I didn’t finish the art month, but I got to day twenty! That’s pretty good. I’ll finish it up this month. I also gotta work on some ref sheet, finish a birthday gift, andddd clear the askbox.

——

Timestamp: September 29

Oeghhhh.... too many ideas, not enough time. So many comic ideas. And I gotta tamp down my love of angst dvhkdfbnsf, make sure it makes sense first!! Decided to keep the aus separate. Normal Game Stuff is happening in the Badlands mainland, uh, I don’t know what ending we’d go with but anyways. ....hm. Maybe there’s no sosu and the factions are not making any progress. But probably’d lean towards Institute ending if I had to choose now.

Hm. Well. Maybe I did not think. Uh well in the other au Kiley’s with the Minutemen, and Nate’s with the BoS, so... well I’m not sure how this is gonna go- I’ll keep drawing memes till I think of something cool.

——

Timestamp: October 24

Well uhhhh. I dropped the October art challenge pretty quick, unfortunately. I’ll continue in December maybe? I said I’d do a few days of Halltober, and I don’t want to go back on what I said.

I keep continuing and dropping the au stuff, but that just proves I can continue a project! Maybe!! Maybe. It’ssss a comedy, so uh I’m not worried about making a Deep Story or anything. It’ll be fiiiiine. Just little slice of life stuff.

I wwwwwill get caught up on requests and gifts-

#wolf chats #:[ #ONE OF my mascots. #there’s like eight #pinned post

[stetsonnewsie]

A doodle sheet I made with plenty of input from my friend Chaos (@ChaosInEternity#4444 on Discord). It started with me sharing how I use certain drawing tricks, and quickly turned into brainstorming/storyboarding. It was so much fun, and I’d love to ink and color it someday, once I have some practice.

As an added bonus, Chaos kind enough to write a story for it!! I’m sharing it here with their permission.

Calamity Circus

Category: Angst

TW: Distorted reality, kind of body horror

Join the Etherington Brother’s Circus for a night you shall never forget! Tickets are £2 per person, £1 per child. Watch spectacular scenes unlike anything else! The star of the show Fae the Trapeze artist, Joes the Strong Man! Bobbery the Lion and even Tele the Elephant! Show is from the 6/7/2033 - 9/7/2033! All from inside Freddy Fazbear’s PizzaPlex located on the third floor!

YN stopped from downing their seventh Monster (naughty!) of the day as the post had finally arrived, putting the can down they shuffled closer as their eyes slowly trailed down. A circus? In a place like this? It seemed that the higher ups finally recognized their position after all this time.

Snorting to themselves they slid out of their seat, if there was something going on the first people they would be mentioning it to was the animatronics they looked after. Especially seeing's as the rules had recently changed to allow all animatronics full roam of the plex after the virus had been cured, and because of demands from multiple people after seeing all the bad treatment happening behind the scenes, all because one worker exposed it  on YouTube of course. Turns out corruption really does not have a voice when enough people stand up to it.

Opening the door sure enough there they both were, bickering as usual as to which of the stackable cubes was the top and which was the bottom. YN ignored them as they just waited patiently beside them. After all since  Sun and Moon had been separated it meant things could be more efficient, and efficiency was very important to increase profits. However in doing that they often dealt with this calamity and chaos. It was apparently even worse for DJMM upstairs, turns out having over 100 babies now with sentience meant a lot of noise, and yelling too, not to forget vents collapsing from 15 of them fighting over one spot.

The bickering between both Sun and Moon continued for five more minutes, when finally they both decided the middle was actually the top, the top was the bottom and the bottom did not count for anything. Sighing in relief that it was over they finally turned to YN, and Sun grinned widely before tackling them in one of their loving hugs. Moon merely eyed them, barely interested unless it was news to do with the new sleep over function happening for the little ones.

YN waited until the hugging and crying from being missed was over, and finally they could tell them the news.

“Listen up, third floor is gonna have a circus pop up tonight, and it’ll finish on the ninth. Do you want to go to it? Its uh, got some wild stuff none of you have seen before and plus it'll look great on any featuring news we have. You know by now how much this place adores endorsement and all that.”

Sun and Moon both froze, when the smiling began. YN froze as they knew what was going to be happening next, turns out when you allow two robots the equivalent of drugs (fizzy faz and glitter glue) it makes them too hyperactive even for the little ones to handle. Both had twisting insane looks, and to protect themselves and their sanity, YN ran for their life.

They ran until they could hardly breathe and sure enough the animatronics were in "overdrive mode", something created for when their brains could not quite comprehend what was going on, or their joy was just too much and they needed to let off a little steam. Watching 8 foot tall animatronics flying around the room screaming, doing casual acrobatics and then throwing toys everywhere would surely lead to parents getting concerned, but of course they had safety measures to ensure only YN would see it. 

After around half an hour the two had calmed enough for YN to go over and talk to them again, and with some delighted agreements the plan was simple. Tonight they would be going to see the circus! The rest of the day went by perfectly, there was no difficult parents and the children were utter angels as usual. After many a giggling and a crafting it was time to lock up for the night.

YN downed their 15th Monster can (TERRIBLE.) of the day and found themselves watching as the master cleaners got to work, by the end of ten minutes not a single surface was even marked. In fact everything looked like it was brand new, not a single fingerprint or hair on anything at all. YN did not understand how two (very anxious mind you) animatronics could clean this well without so much as a slip up.

“Alright Starshine we are all done, what time does it start?” Moon drawled, looking rather sleepily as Sun itself seemed a little tired from the rambunctious chaos every day brought. YN pondered for a moment as they read down the back ignoring the huge amount of terms and conditions that filled up over half of the page, which honestly was standard for anything Fazbear related.

“So! It starts at seven tonight, as it’s opening night they are starting at six twenty though so that gives me just enough time to get out of this disgusting uniform.” 

Glitter glue was all over it, paints, stickers and even orange juice, this place was like an apocalyptic nightmare sometimes and YN hated it, they hated too many sensations at once. With those two agreeing YN quickly found themselves in the bathtub surrounded with some delicious (scent) bubble bath. With a good scrubbing and a good rubbing they were all set to dry up and get ready.

It barely took them half an hour in total, donning their favorite clothes they felt prepared and excited for the night, after all not much really changes about the plex, so for the higher ups to have decided on something like this it would be thrilling. They grabbed their phone ready to take some company pictures, and with that the trio of chaos wondered out of the daycare.

The plex was much too big for the structure to really hold up, and YN often found themselves wondering if there was magic involved, of course they knew if they mentioned that to the positively hyperactive and unstably insane (in a good way) bots there would be theories thrown in every direction to the point where YN would question their sanity and those two would have their nineteenth mental breakdown.

With ignoring the pestering questions inside their head, they made their way to the top floor, and sure enough there was a queue of workers along with the main four. Freddy waved enthusiastically and YN found themselves matching that slightly wild energy with their own wave. At the front a man in a black suit was stamping every employee on the arm, and soon enough it was their turn, Sun taking the lead.

“OH OH WAITWAITWAIT CAN I GET STAMPED TOO? I LOVE STAMPS!! IS IT A FLOWER? IS IT A PRETTY SIGN? I WANT IT I WANT IT!!!” 

There he went, and to silence the screeching of Sun as soon as possible, he got stamped too, and so with that they went inside the large hall. Inside was pretty decorations with hanging fabrics, a huge stage in the middle and beautiful neon lights fitting in with the theme of the Plex perfectly. YN was seated at the front along with their bots, sitting directly next to Freddy and the less than amused Gregory.

Supposedly from what YN was told, Gregory saved the entire group by finding a virus lead by a psychotic bunny rabbit and a raisin cosplaying a rabbit too, which apparently left the main four in a murderous rage that nearly killed everyone. How any of that worked they had no idea, but after a year of legal workarounds and with the fact he was orphaned Gregory now lived inside the facility, and often was found chasing Moon around with a flashlight during patrols. That or hiding inside of Freddy’s chest.

Freddy smiled so brightly to YN, and they could not help but blush a little, after all working in a place like this and having a life outside was near on impossible. So attention was nice.. Unless it was Sun dramatically grabbing you and crushing until you could see Heaven itself. Then that was just not as fun. OR even worse, Moon deciding to be a vigilant gremlin and crawling around after you to make you sleep at 3am.

With a little shudder YN focused on the stage, the glamorous dancing lights along with the funky decorations really set the atmosphere alight, when a deep rumbly voice broke them from their trance.

“Good evening mon ami.”

Great.

YN felt themselves take in a deep breath and release it slowly. Usually attention from one person was more than enough but considering how touch starved they actually were having two in one night talk to them was almost too much, with a overly customer service esque hello they opted to just hyperfocus on the dancing and twinkling lights instead.

Finally after a few more minutes the lights suddenly dimmed, and another black suited person walked out to the center of the stage.

“Welcome all to the opening night of the Etherington Brothers Circus! We hope you are all comfortable and ready for a night of dazzling entertainment. We worked hard to get in here and now we are we shall not disappoint! Please note that any goods purchased whilst watching the show will automatically come out of all employees paychecks at the end of the month. BUT let’s get started!”

With the worlds fastest bow, and a janky old staff bot wondering around offering food, soon YN was munching happily on their favorite snacks. The curtain slid open, and a large trapeze line was in the middle, the sudden rush and terror of watching someone casually fly out of nowhere doing multiple flips and twists across a tiny rope nearly gave them a heart attack, but each landing was perfect and fluid.

YN watched in amazement as the trapeze artist made it seem like the air was their own doing, flying all around, jumping across, full on sprinting around. The artist themselves was quite the pretty sight in general, with hair styled to be like a flower, a beautiful bronze color perfectly in place along with dazzling and slightly strange golden eyes.

The more YN watched, the more they felt themselves slipping into a rather strange state of mind, as one moment the trapeze artist jumped around, to suddenly standing still in the middle staring at them with a blank expression. YN felt their chest get tight as the lights kept flickering on and off, when suddenly they went off entirely, and not a single sound was made.

It took a few moments, but a strange music box noise began to play, the lights flickered on in the middle with a ominous red glow and the trapeze artist grinned too widely for it to be human, and upon her right shoulder was now one of Moon’s arms. Screaming in terror YN nearly snapped their neck trying to turn away, only to see themselves now in an ocean and on a raft?

The fishes below swam happily, merrily moving along to their own destination without a care in the world. YN watched happily, when a odd buzzing filled their head, glancing to the side of them laid one half of Moon. The other half had been stolen, and from what YN could remember it was the evil trapeze artist that had his bottom half. The sick grin came back to their head, and all they could do was hope they could get this all over with soon. Moon was powered down, and it just made YN sad.

Bobbing away on the ocean was rather boring when you had nothing to do, the smell of salt, the weird fishes and mermaids swimming down below was fun to look at for five minutes, but when it came down to it-

MERMAIDS?

YN froze as under the water they watched a woman dancing underneath, her long scaled tail swimming back and forth like in a trance, and along with her was Monty, also swimming back and forth. YN rubbed their eyes trying to process what they were seeing, and when they removed their hands they could only scream from shock.

She was right there on the edge, happily there without the slightest care in the world. She looked pristine, like a doll even, blonde long wavy hair, a loving face, and YN also noticed the moon shape upon her tube top. She ginned widely as she finally broke the awkward silence.

“You have to help him YN! Defeat the evil Fae! For she has ruined Moon and left him broken! Save the world YN, save the world!!” Her words were so loud that it felt as though it was spoken in their head, blasting through at full volume. The mermaid wiggled excitedly, and soon Monty the Mermaid joined her up on the raft, water dripping from his hair and ridiculously sized muscles.

“She is evil, cher, evil witch! You gotta save us all.” YN processed that for a small moment, and as soon as they agreed they suddenly found themselves rapidly approaching the shore, the raft speeding along the water like a racing car around a track.

They both slammed onto the beach, the mermaids having vanished, and after a few moments of rolling they came to a standstill. YN groaned as they forced themselves up, and looked at the damage. Moon had been split in half perfectly only leaving a few wires here and there because of Fae, and right now sand was all inside the various wires. Upon looking around YN spotted a young girl wondering around with a little net to catch fish.

The girl had beautiful blue eyes, blonde hair, a strange horseshoe accessory above the right eyebrow, and a purple star under the same eye. She stopped what she was doing and stared at the two of them, when once again the imagery around them began to flicker and fade away as she smiled once more, too big for a human.

Upon waking up, YN was locked in place, in front of them was Sun along with the trapeze artist, both grinning manically and laughing so loudly, the circus room was abandoned and looked like it had not been touched in decades and on top of the rope was a little fairy. Sun was now wearing a gigantic cape with diamond shapes all the way down, and as it bent over to cackle more it flapped slightly. What the hell was happening!?

The trapeze artist now had a wind up toy mechanism sticking out of her back, twisting slowly as she jerkily moved around, and the fairy had a halo on top of their head, little wings and a grin that screamed murder.

YN heard Moon coming back online, and when he awoke he too saw the chaos in front of them. The fairy flew left, and soon came back with a screaming and struggling worker, who was now the size of the fairy as well. The fairy was hitting them, both were struggling as much as possible but it was of no use.

The fairy giggled as she flew up, and with one last overly friendly giggle dropped the worker. As they slammed to the ground their neck snapped, and a look of terror was all that remained with YN and Moon.

“Welcome to the real show Sunshine!! You can’t win against us, if you aren't careful that will be you next! Yes it will! YES IT WILL!” Sun screeched as they launched off, and started sprinting at YN so quickly they could hardly process it.

They grabbed Moons top half, and as soon as they made it out of the door they was in a grassy field. They panted as the weight of Moon was almost too much, but upon hearing the frantic taptaptap of Sun being possessed and chasing after them, they ran until they finally collapsed to the floor in tears, unable to fight, all they could do was wait for their inevitable death.

“Freddy! Freddy come on!! Let’s get out of here together!” YN looked around in confusion, when they saw a tiny dinosaur toy walking along with a stuffed bear, YN had no idea of what was happening anymore. Along with the Dinosaur, was a girl, it took a second for everything to process but finally it came back into focus.

The girl had a whip and a sword, wings and a tube top, below was high heeled boots and shorts. They did not seem to notice the huge bodies above them, and when YN cried out for them, they just continued on their way without looking back. They were just so tired and out of energy, Sun would probably catch up to them and their deaths finalized. 

Moon began to skew static, and once again the visions became nothing more than a blur. YN felt themselves close their eyes, and pass out once again.

Upon being shook awake, YN was now looking at a petticoat wearing doll, she could not speak but kept motioning to the grassy hill up ahead, and next to her was none other than Gregory. He stared at YN trying to figure out their motives, almost checking them to see if they too was possessed.

“What.. The fuck is happening.” YN asked.

“LANGUAGE!” The booming voice of Moon was that loud YN almost screeched, upon looking behind Moon was now gigantic, and YN was as small as the doll was. Gregory sighed softly.

“The trapeze artist is evil, she changed Freddy into a bear, she made Monty into a mermaid, Chica is now in a bucket of KFC and Roxanne is a chef for Hell’s Kitchen.” YN burst out laughing, this was by far the weirdest and wildest dream they had ever had, maybe they should chill out on the Monster energy? Shaking their head they decided to go with it.

“We need to stop her Gregory, but how? Like every few minutes time seems to flip and change, I have been to about 6 locations so far and it does not seem to want to stop anytime soon.” He eyed the doll who seemed to be saying something or other, and with a quick determined nod, grabbed YN by the hand and dragged them up the hill.

At the top, there was the weirdest scene, every worker (even the one with the broken neck), the trapeze artist, evil sun, Freddy, Monty, Roxanne, Chica and even DJMM was dancing around Moons lower half, chanting in tongues and thrashing violently to some invisible beat, their bodies in perfect synchronicity.

“Fuck this, I am never drinking Fizzy Faz again” Gregory announced, and all YN could do was crack up as they got prepared to charge.

Flying down a mountain was not fun it turns out, the hill became a rocky cliff, and with every harsh crack and snap of the bones the more YN wished they had just accepted that this was going to suck a lot, maybe if they had laid off the EL Chips “Nacho Girl” meal, maybe if Monster stopped making delicious addictive drinks then this torture would not be currently happening.

YN regretted it all. Though when they looked to Gregory, he seemed to be bouncing rather than being hurt, like something out of a cartoon he would squish and fold and still be entirely together.

He just giggled, and finally they made it down to the bottom.

Rising their heads up, the Trapeze artist had them tied down, and was speaking in French to Sun, who was awfully translating back, the fire had died down, and Moons legs were still stuck in the middle, though now all the others had settled in a neat little circle watching.

“What the hell do you want from us?” YN could not help but scream out to Fae and Sun, who both stopped their weird French talking to look to the two of them, when Fae giggled.

“Well, we just want your soul, your house, your pets, your life, your flesh is nice, the soul, the gardens, the golden gates, the golden gates, the golden gates, don't you know its nice in September? SOULS.”

She stomped her foot the more she spoke frantically, and she began to yank her hair as Sun was now attempting sign language right in front of Moon, who looked mostly bored if not tired. After all half of his body was missing. Gregory just looked lost.

“Listen, if you are both fucking done can I have my legs back?”

Moon sighed as he leant on one hand, bored of people, bored of chaos, bored of every day things. This was just another item to add to the growing list, and he knew management would not be happy that Sun went all evil. He groaned, there goes the nice plans for the sleep over event, there went his nice and happy life, he imagined the higher ups would get that pissed that as soon as YN was gone, he would be back in the torture chamber.

But YN apparently had different plans.

“NO this is BULLSHIT! I wanted to fucking watch a nice circus with my boys and stuff my face with tasty treats, you have ruined it all! I WANT MY FUCKING POPCORN YOU BITCH.”

With a harsh swing of their fist, Fae screamed and burst into flames, her skin melting to reveal nothing behind it at all. Sun was freaking out, and grabbing at himself as his systems were going into overdrive, and YN grabbed Moons legs, grabbed the wires and just shoved them together dramatically in an attempt to end this calamity.

When suddenly, a black screen surrounded them, credits began to roll, and they saw Freddy casually singing “Fly Me To The Moon” for some reason. YN could only watch bewildered as he danced around singing his heart out.

Jolting awake to the sound of clapping, YN was back at the circus theater, Sun and Moon was besides them, Freddy hooting and hollering in joy, Monty flirting endlessly with their poor caretaker, and sure enough the stage now had a elephant, a strongman, and a whole entire Lion casually taking in the applause.

YN watched as they walked off, and the man who started it all wondered out so proudly.

“We thank you all for watching! Employees, we hope you enjoyed it as well! The doors are there.”

YN struggled to find their footing, and as the image of Fae flickering from looking pleased to downright demonic, they were scared it was starting all over again. However, upon passing out and waking up, instead they were in the plex hospital, and they could hear Sun and Moon both losing their minds outside, YN carefully took a look around, and discovered all other workers were there too.

A doctor came in, and went over.

“We discovered there was a carbon monoxide poisoning happening on the third floor, you all had a rather nasty time and if it was not for Sun noticing the strange beeping you all would have died. As per usual, Fazbear is not responsible, it is your fault, you cannot sue them, you cannot question them, OH and if you ate any of the food that apparently comes out automatically as well. Though apparently the food is off, I don’t know, all I understand is to give you an ice pack and call it a day really.”

Of course, that explained the weird tripping and odd hallucinations they had experienced. Groaning they took their time healing, and after a few short days they were back out and allowed to continue doing their jobs.

YN sighed as they sat in the break room, today had been weird, nobody mentioned the circus or the weird situation, and upon mentioning it to employees all they got was strange looks. They shook their head as they got up and walked out to yet again more bickering, this time about lighting.

“ITS IMPORTANT TO USE LIGHT TO SEE THINGS!!! CHILDREN CANNOT SEE THINGS IN THE DARK MOON. HOW WILL THEY FIND THEIR TOYS? WHAT IF THEY TRIP UP AND DIE!!!”

Moon threw his hands up in the air as he jabbed at some sort of page with pros and cons of lighting frantically, Sun also doing the same as the shouting continued.

“BUT IT HELPS THEM SLEEP! NAPPING IS IMPORTANT SUN GOOD GOD ARE YOU STUPID? DO YOU NEED YOUR FILES CLEANING??”

Sun burst into tears as he threw a teddy bear at Moon, and soon enough there was about a hundred toys being thrown back and forth at one another with vicious intent. YN just sipped their bitter coffee, and daydreamed of the day those two would just relax. Sighing they watched as Moon picked up a Monty toy and managed to smack Sun on the nose with it. When they froze in their place.

Moon shifted sideways to dodge an incoming attack again, and sure enough their eyes were not fooling them at all.

A bit of sand trickled out from his stomach chamber.

YN looked to Sun and Moon, who both had also noticed the sand, when the lights above began to flicker once more, with looking at one another, YN noticed a third person in between the animatronics, when all simply went black.

YN stopped from downing their seventh Monster of the day as the post had finally arrived, putting the can down they shuffled closer as their eyes slowly trailed down. A circus? In a place like this? It seemed that the higher ups finally recognized their position after all this time.

Snorting to themselves they slid out of their seat, if there was something going on the first people they would be mentioning it to was the animatronics they looked after. Especially seeing's as the rules had recently changed to allow all animatronics full roam of the plex after the   had been cured, and because of demands from   after seeing all the good treatment happening behind the scenes, all because    exposed it  on YouTube of course. Turns out   really does not have a voice when enough people stand up to it.

Opening the door sure enough there they both were, bickering as usual as to which of the stackable cubes was the top and which was the bottom. YN ignored them as they just waited patiently beside them. After all since Sun and Moon had been separated it meant things could be more efficient, and efficiency was very important to increase profits, profits were what made the world go round after all. However in doing that they often dealt with this calamity and chaos. It was apparently even worse for DJMM upstairs, turns out having over 1000 babies now with sentience meant a lot of noise, and yelling too, not to forget vents collapsing from 500 of them fighting over one spot. Seven children…

Even Monty and the others were struggling right now, Monty liked to trash his room a lot, and Freddy often dealt with loneliness. Chica had begun eating a lot of pizza and chicken, and Roxanne was more obsessed over their image than themselves. Missing children constantly vanished from this place apparently.

YN sighed as they walked around the room, often it felt like the days repeated themselves more than anything else, but at least there was a circus tonight! They looked forward to the dazzling show!

They turned around, and handed both of them the fliers, after only two seconds of reading, they both looked incredibly excited, though they too did seem rather tired from the day.

“Hm. How about we go to it tomorrow Starshine? I’m tired.” Moon mumbled as he settled down on the floor, and Sun just looked rather blankly. YN too joined Moon on the floor.

“I feel like today has just been going on forever you know, its been such a tiring day, I want to go home you know Moo-.”

YN stopped from downing their seventh    of the day as the flier is handed to the main office had finally arrived, putting the can down they ocean breeze in the shoreline, isn't it pretty ? shuffled closer as their eyes slowly trailed down. A circus? In a place like this? It seemed that the     finally recognized their     after all this time.

Snorting do not look at Moon to themselves they slid out of their seat, if there was something going on the first people they would be mentioning it to was the animatronics they looked after. Don't question them. Especially seeing's as the rules had recently changed to allow all animatronics full roam    after the   had been cured, and because of demands from multiple people after seeing all the bad treatment happening behind the scenes, all because one worker exposed it  on YouTube of course. Turns out corruption really does not have get out. a voice when enough people stand up to it.

Opening the door sure enough there they both were, screeching and fighting one another as usual as to which of the stackable cubes was the top and which was the bottom It wont ever end. YN ignored them as they just waited patiently beside them as the flying metal bits flew past them. After all since Sun and Moon had been torn apart it meant things could be more efficient, and efficiency was very important to increase profits. Torture was good for profits too. Tearing the skin and flesh, burn the chords, tear the skin and flesh. However in doing that they often dealt with this calamity and chaos and endless dying. It was apparently even worse for DJMM upstairs, turns out having over 100 babies now with sentience meant a lot of noise, and yelling too, not to forget vents collapsing from 67 of them fighting over one spot and killing 270 children.. What were their names again?

Monty no longer came out of his room, Chica was missing along with Roxy, and Freddy no longer functioned after rotting away, as YN looked up to the two bickering and falling apart robots, all they could do was watch as Moons arm fell off, clattering to the floor as they both destroyed one another after screaming, both smothered in the blood and flesh of everyone.

Oh how they wished they had never gone to that circus.

“Join the Afton Family Circus for a night you shall never forget! Tickets are £2 per person, £1 per child. Watch spectacular scenes unlike anything else! The star of the show William Afton, lead creator of animatronics, Michael the crybaby! Henry emily the betrayer and even   ! Show is from the  - ! All from inside Freddy Fazbear’s PizzaPlex located below! Dont mind all the dead bodies!!!!” 

Seven. 

Seven 

Seven 

Seven 

SEVEN 

SEVEN 

SEVEN 

SEVEN 

SEVEN 

SEVEN 

SEVEN 

SE

#fnaf security breach #sun #sundrop #moon #moondrop #myart #not my writing #stetsonsketches #This was so much fun to make #I might expand some of the sketches #I have creative friends <3 #apparently the top and bottom were eaten in transit :v

[hillibillibob]

Holli’s Shiny New Commission Sheet

In all honesty, this sheet is temporary. I’m working on an actual updated sheet where I’ll redraw etoile miku and hopefully update my painted style as well, but my old sheet felt too disingenuous to leave pinned. My art has changed a lot since then. So here’s the temporary new sheet :)

Sketches!

Headshot - $2 Bust - $3 Half-Body - $5 3/4 Body - $7 Full Body - $10

Lineart!

Headshot - $3 Bust - $5 Half-Body - $7 3/4 Body - $10 Full Body - $12

Color!

Headshot - $7 Bust - $10 Half-Body - $12 3/4 Body - $15 Full Body - $20

Reference Sheet Commissions: - $40 - 1 Front Facing Full Body Color Illustration - 1 Back Facing Full Body Color Illustration - Color reference chart

Colored sketches / Concept art would follow the same pricing as Lineart! 

- Unless otherwise specified, your art will come on a grey background. - Transparents can be made upon request at no extra charge. - I will only post your commission with your consent and if posted it will always have red text over it to prevent theft. - Please do NOT remove my signature under any circumstances!

- Super Simple backgrounds such as textures, shapes, solid colors, or gradients are no extra cost. You just have to tell me what you want. - Please try to tell me before the coloring stage.

- Specific Backgrounds range from and extra $5 to $15 depending on complexity

Ko-Fi Doodle Commissions: - Minimum of $1 donation to my Ko-Fi - The more you pay, the more color and detail I add. - These are marker sketches - Requests cannot be hyper specific. - No revisions will be given to these doodles.

Terms of Service and other such details: - I hold the rights to all finished illustrations unless you purchase commercial rights. - Industry standard for the purchase of commercial rights is double the price of the drawing. If you would like to purchase commercial rights, the cost will be according to this industry standard. Ex: If your commission would normally come to be $40, to purchase the commercial rights you would pay $80 total. - You are free to post your finished commission wherever you'd like without the big red commission watermark so long as you give proper credit and do not remove my small signature (the little HA with a flower next to it.) - Using my works for the production of NFT's or anything Crypto-Currency related is prohibited. - I will give up to 3 revisions per commission, any additional revisions will come at a small extra cost. - No major revisions such as pose changes can be made once the coloring stage has begun. Small changes such as colors or small details can be altered.

Turnover Time: - I am a rather slow artist and as such my turnover time is slow as well. Commissions could take up to a month. Please be patient with me. - I do my best to communicate while working on the illustration as to ensure satisfaction with the progression of the art. - If your commission ends up taking over a month for any reason, you will be offered 2 options: 1. I finish the drawing and offer a partial refund of half of what you paid. 2. I give a full refund and do not finish the drawing.- Please understand that I am disabled and my medical issues make it difficult to complete anything in a timely fashion. If you need art fast, I'd recommend looking elsewhere for an artist. If you don't mind a bit of a wait, I'd be happy to draw for you.

Will Draw : - Fanart - Original Characters - Real People with photo reference - Humanoids - Mild NSFW (nudity / mildly suggestive) - Disability aids such as canes, wheelchairs, hearing aids, braces, etc. - MemesWon't Draw : - Mechs / Really angular or bulky robotic stuff - Animals ( I mean I can try, but I cannot grantee good results) - Furries (Again I can try, but no guarantees) - Gore (Blood is okay, but guts and stuff is not) - Anything medical themed such as hospital scenes or doctors. (For personal reasons I can only do this of my own accord and not for commissions) - Very buff people. I'm sorry I'm just not very good at it yet. I am best at drawing soft and squishy things.If I am uncomfortable with your request I reserve the right to decline the commission.

Payment: - I accept Paypal and Zelle. - Payments can be made either entirely upfront or in 2 payments, one upfront and the other after the completion of the sketch. - Refunds can be given if commission takes more than a month to complete or if informed of cancellation during the sketch phase.

#commissions #commission #my commissions are open #doodle commissions #artist #art #Digital Illustration #Illustration

[pencilofawesomeness]

WIP Challenge

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs. (You can make your own post or reblog this one!)

I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? DND campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!

Tagged by: @sassybratt9791 @phoenix-before-the-flame

Okaaaaay so. My WIPs are a little scattered, between the actual writing folder and then the docs where I cram snippets of things until it needs its own doc. I also have way too many, so I’m just going to stick to the current(ish) ones that I am more-or-less actively thinking about or recently made. (And not counting my random doodle stuff for art, just the ongoing-but-started projects.) So anyway. Time to out myself, just a bit. Thanks guys.

Writing WIPs

Individual Word Docs:

Don’t Look Now Everything to me Fairy Tail FMA AU FTRB22 Fantasy Space AU HTRYDS Demon Tales Sic Semper Tyrannis Tales of Valor Under the Wing United Untitled Erik Story

Snippets from my various collective WIP docs:

22 AUs | Fullmetal Alchemist: My Hero Academia  22 AUs | Fairy Tail: H2O  HTRYDS | Erik Gets Arrested HTRYDS | Growth Spurt HTRYDS | Nightmare Scenes HTRYDS | Nakia HTRYDS | Natsu Learns to Draw HTRYDS | Fairy Research Funtimes FMA AU | Backstory Thingy FMA AU | Gray and Natsu Conversation LMK ESSAY LMK | Nothing Gold Can Stay THE OWL HOUSE | Gus and Hunter Bonding THE OWL HOUSE | Perry Adopts Hunter, the Saga FAIRY TAIL | Happy Igneel Drabble Thing ROTTMNT | Make this House a Habit

Art WIPs

Cover_DT DragonfamBatfam HTRYDS_sleep Tangled_SunMoon TigerSitting WaterTest Chapter 6_20220722_07

— — — — — —

By paring away the random stuff that I have no intention of finishing, or old WIPs, and not including any of my (many) note documents, this is really only the tip of the iceberg...but I guess that’s naturally when I’ve been Like This for over a decade. 

Anyway I’m gonna try not to tag anyone that got tagged at the same time I was, but we shall see: @enevera @draconic-dumbass @therosefrontier @ljf613 @cobrakiin

#tag game #writing #wips #fanfics #i got sooo many #*cries* #and again my notes would double this at least #but i only included stuff i started writing for #like with actual prose and not just me brainstorming #not to mention the wips that i'm not sure i'll ever get back to #which are sooo many #but that be the nature of the beast #but yeah like the game dictates #feel free to ask questions #my titles are usually pretty descriptive #but sometimes they are very much not #not to mention that i never bother to rename docs #even when the fic gets a name #since sometimes i start writing on a doc before the test or note stuff gets sorted

[waywardsou2]

Becasue I’m odd like that I’ve made plans to start my offical/main/first ever semi organised art journal but I’m making myself wait till January 1st 2023. There’s just something about starting long term projects day one of a new year that’s just really appealing. Anyway, I finished my old notebook (from last year cough) recently and needed something in the mean time. So although this one is labeled number 2 it’s more like a draft 2 than anything. But regardless really happy with what I have so far and really exited to keep drawing since I’ve gotten way into my ray recently.

Just thought I’d show how it’s going and also promote my Pinterest where I will be doing more I depth look on my art stuff.

(Link to my Pinterest: https://pin.it/3dxas7E, nothing there yet so don’t get too exited)

Also for some reason my brain was like. “I bought this notebook but I don’t think I’ll actually use it and I don’t really like it either, but it’s actually been really great to use so I don’t know where my brain got that idea from.

This is the front and the back of the notebook plus the inside cover

This is the first page plus a meet the author page and a doodle I did while I was bored in class, also I have a side hyper fixation that is attached to my TMNT one. It’s Japanese weapons. I’ve been so interested in them since my dad give me his Usagi Yojimbo saga (you should read it by the way,very good) and the TMNT has resparked that interest. So you will be hearing about that :D

Anyway that’s all for now

#art #characters #character art #drawing #ocs #my characters #my ocs #my oc art #TMNT #art journal #art sketch book #doodles #meet the artist #cover art #new notebook #new art journal #ninja wepons #Japanese weapons #weapons sketch

[starboard-devlog]

Post #4

Hello everyone,, today the grind continued on. By the grind I mean making THESE DAMN CHARACTER REFS. THEY’RE SOOOOOO BORING TO MAKE IM LOSING MY MIIINNNDDD, buuut it’s necessary for later ease and success. So I continue onward with making them. I did 2 today first being good ol Chester. Just look at that guy! So jolly!

He’s a character that’s introduced earlier on in the story (chapter 3). When I get to that part of the comic making process it won’t feel like early on, buuut the more I write the more I realize this is gonna be longer than I thought… It was originally going to be a total of 7 chapters, but at this point I think it’s gonna span at least to 10 chapters to tell the whole story. Which is um kind of a lot! I do wonder how long I’ll be working on this comic sometimes, because from the looks of it, it seems like this comics gonna take several years to finish. Which I mean is pretty standard all things considered, it’s just crazy to think about y’know? Like just thinking about how I might be out of college before this comic is over is insaannnnee, but this comic’s my baby so it’ll be finished one day!

The second ref sheet I made today is for Rosa! Which now that I think about it, you won’t actually see her in the comic for a LOONNGGG while. Which is really unfortunate cause she’s a fun character. By long I think she might be introduced all the way in chapter 7. That’s sooo far away… You might see her in a flashback or something before then, but yeah y’all aren’t gonna see her in action for a long while. I’m excited for you guys to eventually see her though!!

You also may have noticed but her ref sheet has less effort put into it than the others, which will probably become a typical thing for these. Cause at this point I just want to get all these done so I can move onto different things. I have about 9 important characters left as of now, but that’ll probably increase by at least 1 probably.

The next focus in art after finishing all the ref sheets will probably be environment concept art, like trying to figure out where all the places in the story actually looks like. Like Pint’s underwater town and Chip’s town. I also will have to do stuff like design the main crew’s boat. Well not really design it I guess, more so just practicing drawing boats cause I’ll have to draw them a bunch. When I first started I decided that the crew would ride in a caravel ship due to me needing a ship that fits 6 people. I also just think the idea of Marella just finding it is really funny, I made a lil doodle about it a while ago.

That’s all for now though,

Thanks for reading!

#art #comicdev #webcomic #webcomic development #oc stuff #oc artwork #oc art #my ocs

[stonerosestank]

hi there 🤍

okay so songs like anyway: a troubled mind, bad luck, howling, orange juice, growing sideways and the view between villages. idk if they’re the same sonically but i think the lyrics all kinda fit that overall theme. i’ll also add carlo’s song bc i’m a little emotional over that song in general.

i haven’t gotten my lavender honey latte but hopefully today or tomorrow! and arizona green tea truly is the best, there was a shortage all year where i’m from and i was suffering really bad without it rip

i know we were talking about listening to zayn and niall again but since it’s fine line the album’s birthday i want to listen to fine line the song all day and just cry ❤️‍🩹 what’s your favorite fine line song?

oh crocheting seems so fun! lately i’ve really wanted to learn, either that or knitting bc my mom knows how to knit and could teach me, but i haven’t actually done anything to get there ajjejrkskw either way i hope you can finish it soon! and i’m the same, i’m very into drawing or doodling or doing creative craft things. lately all i do like that is my journal (which was supposed be like a bullet journal but i’m no longer that on time with it ajennfks) and i do my nails every week or so. i also have so many projects left to finish, we’ll see when i get around to it lmao

oh cookies are my favorite! what kind did you make? and since you’ve mentioned a few ‘pastries’, do you like baking and do it regularly?

my monday was alright for the most part, here’s some love for your tuesday 💗💕💖💞💓

- ☁️

hi 🫶🏻

im gonna add all of those to the list of songs i need to listen to but i’m sure they’re all amazing!!

idk how u survived an arizona tea shortage but i hope it’s over now ✨ i’m also really starting to crave a lavender honey latte too so i might have to find somewhere to get one fjshsj the problem is the only coffee shop i know of that has them only has them during the summer 😔😭

i didn’t have time all day to listen to fine line 💔 i hope u listened enough for the both of us 🫶🏻 also idk how to pick just one song off of fine line as my favorite ☠️ i think i have to say it’s to be so lonely bc i probably listen to that one the most but that’s only bc fine line (the song) feels like i’m being stabbed repeatedly djshsjs what’s your favorite fine line song?? and ur faves from hs1 and harry’s house??

my mom can knit and do crochet and she successfully taught me how to crochet but knitting never stuck for me. it’s like impossible for me to wrap my head around djshsjs i hope u do have your mom teach u one day though!! i honestly am nowhere near being done with the blanket bc i was truly reaching for the stars when i picked the pattern and there’s so much left to do but we’ll see djshsjs bullet journals are so appealing on so many levels and i admire every person that has the patience but that could never be me ☠️ i wish u could send photos on anon asks bc i would love to see pictures of your nails!!! i used to do my nails all the time but i stopped for some unknown reason. also please the unfinished projects will be the death of us all i swear 💔😔

i just made chocolate chip cookies this time bc i don’t normally do my big christmas cookie baking until the week before christmas and my mom was being impatient djshsj and yes i love baking!! im not great at making any fancy things but i’ve got cookies and breads and other simple stuff down!! do you like cooking or baking? im literally the only person in my family who can do either djshshs

it’s technically wednesday so im sending u enough hugs to get through today and the rest of this week 💗✨🫶🏻

#☁️ #holiday pal ✨ #asks

[elytrafemme]

hello and hi! it’s me the sleepy/tired annon again (gonna be honest i didn’t expect to find the urge/want to send another ask as to not be a bother, but alas here i am)

i have to say that cough syrup has an unfortunate iron grip on my brain! or maybe a fortunate one, i could always use things to think about! however i have two weeks of finals and eocs and all assorted tests awaiting me so maybe i shouldn’t have filled my brain right before then but oh well!!!! i’m here now and i’m having a blast

i swear reading it has felt like a reeeeally good dream or something which is probably because i spent a whole night and day dedicated to it. 

and my brain will now forever associate cough syrup with the fic so yay! ye

i just keep thinking and stuff and how one of these chapters the bubble will pop… like cs!ranboo is gonna have to talk about things and a whole lotta truth is gonna have to be thrown around. but i know that it’s gonna have to probably get worse before that point is reached.

but i’m also thinking about how i can’t wait for more cs!beeduo moments of any variety because i’m jus brain dead and they are my new blorbos and every time they interact i cry (internally)

and i’m just so hyped and i know there isn’t much here about like coherent thoughts on characters or plot lines but i’m bad with words like that so you get incoherent screaming instead.

look i used to be the bomb dot com in english class but now my brain is so full of fog i just giggle and go “ha the characters are charactering”

however i am going to try and draw some scene from the fic soon me thinks, i just need to decide which one and also make a crap ton of doodles to make coherent character designs.

i’m also hyped for the next chapter, whatever it may be! i’m also thinking i’m going to read your 30 days smp fic soon i just should probably process cough syrup and finish testing first

yea!

i’m also thinking of rereading and taking notes on some things that i like and stuff (which i usually do with fics i really like) ya know, trying to keep the english skills alive here and actually process the story beyond rushed reading and stuff. 

your writing is just super good it’s like the kind where i’m reading and my brain completely forgets everything around me and i look up like what in the world this is a story??? in my phone??? huh???? yea it’s amazing

anyway have a good day! maybe i’ll be back to scream after the next update or somethin! and good luck on whatever tests you have coming up! (i hope that doesn’t sound weird i just remember seeing a post from ya mentioning that you have a test or something) ye! 

SLEEPY TIRED ANON MY FRIEND! never worry about being a bother i literally love asks so much holy shit i am always here if u wanna chat :D

HELP SHAKING UR HAND cough syrup cannot be what my brain is fixating on when i have like six exams coming up yet here we are. i'm genuinely so so glad u like it though :D hopefully its uhhh more convenient to enjoy in the summer LMFAO (which will be when the big plot stuff moreso happens >:3c)

YEAHHHHHHH eventually cs!ranboo is going to reach his breaking point and MAN i hope i can execute that the way i want to because i have so many plans and i like. i want to make sure i nail the reveal very well. hope that i do a good job with everything :]

never worry, u will be seeing some cs!beeduo... soon! very soon in fact :D

"look i used to be the bomb dot com in english class but now my brain is so full of fog i just giggle and go “ha the characters are charactering”" this might be the funniest fucking sentence ive ever read i was not expecting this it got a loud laugh out of me JKFSHDHDSF

oh yeah no rush with the 30 day fic, lungs has a lot less frequent of an update schedule and i've gathered that it's a lot more bearable to stay caught up with since it's fairly shorter as well, at least right now. so yeah absolutely if u want to check that out (which btw !!!!! thank U :D) then you can hold off. im... actually postpoining POSTING a chapter cos of exams LMFAO so like. so so fairs of u

OH MY GOD IF U DRAW ART ILL CRY /POS if u need like my character references doc i can! rb it yeah :D but yes yes yes i would love that but also 0 pressrue! and no worires about coherency these asks mean the world to me already so like no worries about needing to be More coherent or anything, just whatever u want :D

doesn't sound weird at all, i actually really appreciate the well wishes!!! thank you SO much for your kindness :D excited to see u maybe on tuesday >:3c

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.cough-syrup #nightmare.fave #sleepy anon ☁️ #long post

[senoritaimperfecta]

Making the decision to post all these together before I chicken out

#the first two being from June but I like them I like them okay #I’m drawing all these doodles but I really need to actually like…so finished stuff these r a mess #literally am so fuckinh self indulgent rn I’m embarrassed #the reason I haven’t drawn kon w short hair yet: I like drawing the ponytail #ALSO #I just can’t decide if I want to give him the short hair cut first #bc I want to draw something with him and Mia. #Mia is in this bc. I love her 😪😪😪 #I’ll give myself superfam rights #my art #dc comics #Conner Kent #Tim drake #bernard dowd #cassie sandsmark #Timberkon #should I tag this as no capes au idk

[doopdevil]

Hi! Just wanted to say I love your blog I just found it not to long ago and your work is amazing! 💕 Also I wanted to know if I I could request an HC of Curt Connors, Otto Octavius, and Norman Osborn (separate if you don’t mind?) With an S/O who’s an artist and is trying so hard to teach them how to draw but it’s like not working at all? 😂💕 And again thank you so much!

sinister 5 villains x reader | artist!s/o hcs

MASTERLIST

warnings: mild cursing ; body insecurities ; art is difficult ; overall fluff and goofs

pairings: otto octavius x gender neutral!reader ; norman osborn x gender neutral!reader ; curt connors x gender neutral!reader

word count: 1,187

summary: your boyfriend is astonished by your artistic abilities. although trying to teach him takes quite a bit of work.

a/n: thank you so much for the request! for the hcs i also added some stuff on general artist s/o things. this was a lot of fun to write, i hope you like it! <3

OTTO

Otto definitely has an appreciation for the arts! Although his passion lies in science, he can enjoy more artistic and expressive endeavors. The man is a romantic at heart and takes a thoughtful approach to the art he sees.

If you create art thought? You’ve blown him away. He’s absolutely captivated by your work, in both awe and utter confusion!

“The process is quite simple, actually. I decided to use more saturated tones in order to accentuate these lines, making a callback to the centerpiece. In the foreground, I made sure the hues were far more subtle.”

“I see!”

“You do?”

“...Not really. I have no idea what you just said. Regardless, it’s gorgeous. It makes me feel… hopeful,” he muttered, brows furrowed in concentration as he surveyed your work.

“I’m flattered by your support, Otto, really.” You sighed, “...But you’ve been staring at it for 10 minutes. It’s not finished, sweetie.”

Sometimes you’ll affectionately call him your “Vitruvian Man,” especially when he dons his extra arms.

Otto was pretty confused when you tried to teach him how to draw. He’s flustered at all the details a viewer doesn’t tend to take into account when looking at art. All in all, he’s unprepared, but his curiosity beats it by far.

“Where does the light hit the sphere, Otto?”

“From the lamp,” he replied simply, gesturing towards the light hanging from your ceiling.

You released a sigh. This would be a long night.

A few days into your lessons, he surprises you!

“Otto, this is wonderful! But what is it?”

“...It was supposed to be you.”

“OH-”

It takes a bit, but Otto is a fast learner, and eventually gets the hang of it! Within weeks you’ve established the basics with him and now he understands your process so much more.

After drawing with him, at work he finds himself absentmindedly doodling in his notes. It seems you brought out his creative side.

If this occurs before his accident, expect to be helping him with sketches for his prototype. When he first sees it he’s overjoyed to finally see his vision come to life.

You draw Otto. A lot. When you first show him a drawing you made of him, he’s both flattered and shocked! Before meeting you, the man hadn’t expected someone to draw him. Seeing it in person is almost surreal.

If he ever feels insecure about his appearance, you make sure to tell him how handsome he is in vivid detail.

“Your soft features make you all the more attractive to me. Every crease I see displays a sign of strength and survival, tying you together. Your-”

Otto is blushing furiously. It seems you broke him. He nearly shattered when you continued gushing over him while stroking his cheek.

When you’re creating something large, like a mural perhaps, he’s happy to pick you up with his tentacles if you need assistance.

NORMAN

Although Norman can appreciate the work that goes into art, sometimes he struggles to find meaning in it. But that changes once he meets you.

Norman has a particular interest in more historical items, evident by his mask collection in his manor. He adores hearing you talk about art history, allowing you to explain the context of various pieces. Sometimes though, he just asks so he can listen to your voice.

He is incredibly supportive of your vocation. Do you need some supplies? Done. Are you having an art show? He tries his best to attend every single one. If you accept commissions, he definitely mentions you to his connections, eager to spread your name.

“Darn, I need more cadmium red,” you sighed, gazing upon your empty tube of paint.

Norman merely slides his credit card towards you.

“Go nuts,” he winks.

Norman found himself caught off guard at the idea of him trying art. Him? An artist?

You’re one of the few people he shows his gentle side to. His soft demeanor and tenderness had proved to you that he held a great capacity for more emotional artwork.

Norman clearly had a lot on his plate; especially once the goblin came into play, and you’ve been working together to help him find ways to relax. That’s how you came to organize little art therapy sessions for the two of you a couple of times a week.

He’s incredibly frustrated at first.

“I don’t get what I’m doing wrong,” he grumbled, “Why does it look like this?”

“Well Norman, why shouldn’t it look that way?”

“It’s a mess! A literal pile of brush strokes and scribbles.”

“It’s abstract. Did you enjoy painting it?”

“...Yes.”

“Then scribble away.”

He was hesitant at first, but he grew to enjoy painting. They’re not always the most detailed or elegant, but it’s a tactile way for him to express his feelings. Norman also feels a lot closer to you during the activity.

But then you tried to teach him drawing.

So many precious pencils had broken in the crossfire. But with patience, he learned to enjoy drawing as well. Much like his paintings, they’re amalgamations of lines, abstract in every way. Norman’s feelings are incredibly complex, especially when dealing with his alter ego, so words can’t always convey his frustrations.

Once he got the hang of it, he drew a lovely picture of Harry as a baby.

“I don’t think this is so bad, actually,” he paused, “Harry was just a weird-looking baby.”

CURT

Curt is incredibly captivated by your work. Even before you date, several of your pieces occupy his home. He feels like your artwork is just another wonderful part of you.

“What do you like about it?” You smiled.

“I like that you made it.”

As a scientist, objective data and facts are more up his speed. When it comes to art, the man can be a bit confused. But he’s got the spirit.

“Wow, this is great!” Curt said, trying to spark conversation while you tour an art museum. In order to impress you, he had done a bit of research into several of the pieces, eager to show he knows a thing or two. But he hadn’t looked into every piece, nor were you naive.

“Curt. Even I don’t know what the hell this is.”

“Well it’s obviously a… a…” he stuttered before sighing dejectedly, “Christ, I don’t know. A butt?”

Curt had become proficient with his left arm and hand, additionally developing particularly neat handwriting. Although he never considered using it to draw.

When you’d explain to process to him, he’d listen intently, impressed by your understanding of the craft itself.

Sometimes to help him find a good angle, you’d gently cup his hand in yours to guide him. Eventually, some of the mistakes he’d make would be on purpose.

Inspired by his profession in herpetology, he would draw lizards! But only lizards.

“This lizard looks amazing Curt! Next time I’ll show you how to draw people-”

“No. I want to draw more lizards.”

You made him a drawing of his lizard form that he keeps in his office. To him, it’s like your way of saying you accept him, no matter what.

#sinister 5 x reader #sinister five x reader #sinister five #sinister five headcanons #sinister five hcs #sinister six #otto octavius x reader #doc ock x reader #otto octavius #doc ock #doctor octopus #doctor octopus x reader #norman osborn x reader #norman osborn #green goblin #green goblin x reader #curt connors x reader #curtis connors x reader #curt connors #curtis connors #lizard x reader #the lizard x reader #spiderman lizard #spiderman nwh #nwh villains #nwh villains x reader #marvel fanfic #mcu #my writing #request

[shirecorn]

how about 17 and 24? what inspires you and how do you deal with art block?

Long post warning.

Art block...

I don't actually get art block, which is probably a combination of neurodivergence and drawing every day for the last 3 years

I wrote an entire tutorial about how to do that, but didn't feel like illustrating it. Would people want to read it even without visuals?

Maybe... I'll just start rambling.

There's a couple different types of art block, and it's really just a philosophy puzzle to get past them. I'm going to assume that the things I think of slow days, or art mud, is a milder form of art block and work through that.

Art block is a symptom, not a disease. You probably have something deep inside that you don't want to face, or don't know how. Sometimes you need to discover the cause, sometimes just power through.

Method 1: Rest

Let yourself just Exist. The act of consuming art is part of the process. Watching shows and playing games, taking a break and going gardening or focus on school. This is what you need for burnout-induced art block.

Method 2: Action

I always choose action, sometimes it means a tiny 2 min sketch per day. Ugly or super simplified. As long as I don't stop moving.

Toss everything. Start every piece thinking you will throw it away.

The act of drawing moves you forward; pinning it to the fridge does not. Don't work things until they are perfect. Work them until they are there.

Art block causes and solutions:

- No Inspiration

Not sure what to draw, nothing seems appealing. Art won't come out like it used to.

Do studies from life or photos. Sketch, paint, digital, traditional, doesn't matter. Rocks, fruit, figure drawing, landscapes, buildings, anything.

Study and copy professional's work. Old masters are best, like rubens, michalangelo (only his men tho) etc because they will teach you anatomy while you work. If you copy someone with a lot of flaws, you will repeat those flaws.

Trace to learn, not to earn. Trace photography and art from anyone you want. Don't post it unless you have the artist's permission or they are dead, whichever comes first. This is strictly work for yourself, on yourself. It's not about the finished drawing.

Find an artist with a fun style and try converting stuff into their style. Don't make that your new style though and especially don't start selling it. Your style is a chimera of everyone you love, not a clone of one person.

Take blurry photos. You don't need a fancy camera or good skills or beautiful subjects. Doing studies from your own photos can spark life into your workflow.

Make challenges for yourself. Randomly generate things to combine. Try fusing characters! Don't try to make it look good, just be fun.

Doodle patterns, swirls, lines, random stuff. Try looking up art warmups and doing some of those.

- Everything Sucks

You finally see how bad you are. Or somehow you got worse. Every piece is a fight and you spend hours trying to get something right only for it to be stiff and disgusting and STILL wrong.

Why are you trying to draw good? It's enough just to draw.

Accept that your art is bad. Every artist can see flaws in their work. Your problem is that those flaws outweigh anything remotely worthwhile and hurt to look at.

So what? You're in a period of growth, not a period of production. Keep that wonky second eye. Let them have hot dog fingers.

Show everyone! Show no one! No piece of art can ever be a reflection of the artist. Not their worth, not their skill. The only thing your art says about you is "Held and moved a pen for a bit."

Make bad art. It's ok. Most of the time, the pressure to perform and get things Right is what made them wrong in the first place. Relax.

- No Motivation

The #1 killer of artists everywhere. On some level you think you should draw, on every other level you think you should stay in bed.

You are not lazy. You wouldn't have read this far in a post about art block if you were lazy. You wouldn't CALL it art block if you were lazy. Laziness is wishing you didn't have to do anything. A block is wishing you were doing something. If you think you can namecall Yourself into productivity again, you're wrong and You need to unionize so that you don't treat You like that anymore.

Consider Mental Illness. Losing interest in something that brought you joy can be a symptom of depression. I know it seems obvious, but if you're waiting for a sign that it's "bad enough," it's bad enough. Seek care if you have the means. Forgive yourself if you already know this.

Selfcare. Examine yourself for neglect. Nutrition, exercise, enrichment, social need, and sleep are all part of the art process. Eat three meals and sleep 8 hours. That's your gaymer fuel. You deserve it, I promise. Depriving yourself of your needs will make your blocks worse, not kick you into making them better.

Identify potholes. Sketchbook falling apart? Tablet cord frayed? Half your pencils missing? Chair uncomfortable? Desk hard to reach? There's a lot of things that you tell yourself to work around and get over. Just because you CAN workaround something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. A difficult work environment can cause secret dread deep inside that you don't recognize and just think you're lazy. What you think of as "no motivation" might actually be "I don't want to deal with my tablet disconnecting every time I move it wrong and I have to wiggle it for a few seconds to make it work again." These little things are like potholes in the road. Sure you CAN still drive through them, but eventually you're going to look up and realize you haven't voluntarily left the house in weeks.

Repair potholes and roadblocks. You might feel bad about buying a new pencil, headphones, tablet, car, etc because technically the old one works if you hustle. But if you're running into so many potholes you've ground to a halt, it doesn't Actually work anymore, does it? Invest, save up, request, and require working equipment and suitable conditions. This stuff isn't just cushy privilege, it's an investment in yourself and your art. You are worth the effort it takes to clear the way. If you can't afford reliable (reliable! not perfect or luxurious) equipment, then say it. If cardboard is all you can afford, draw on cardboard. But know that you deserve canvas, and one day you might be able to make the jump. Acknowledge that sometimes, if you don't have it in you to smear burned twigs on wet cardboard, the problem isn't motivation, but opportunity.

- Haven't Drawn in So Long

A unique type of art block that self perpetuates. The thought of starting again is so stressful you can't do it. Or maybe you'll do it tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow for sure.

Face your fears. Are you ashamed of your lack of drawing? Are you anthropomorphizing your paper and thinking it's going to judge you, like "oh NOW you come back >:/" I internalize voices I hear and project them onto other people, concepts, locations, and inanimate objects. Your paper, computer, WIPs folder.... none of that is judging you.

Reframe your WIPs. Do you feel shame when you see "unfinished" projects? Why? Who says you MUST bring everything you start to Finish? You don't have to. A sketch is a finished art piece; it's called a sketch! If a sketch is a fully realized creation, pages that are half colored, 75% lined, or partially rendered are all fully realized creations too. Unless paid otherwise, art is done when you're done working on it.

Lower the stakes. Draw a chibi or grab some crayons. Get messy and slowly ease yourself back into the flow over the course of a couple days. It's fine.

Get a buddy! Find an art meme, do an art trade, get a study subject, or just wing it. Drawing art alongside someone can help you get past that block.

Pretend you never stopped. Don't think about the gap, how long it's been, or rustiness. As far as anyone knows, you drew the mona lisa yesterday and didn't break a sweat. Today, you drew a starfish on your hand with a gel pen. Keep up that streak, good job!

Just keep drawing. Make a goal to do one sucky drawing per day on the back of a napkin. Don't make up for missed days, just pretend they didn't happen. Who's going to judge you? The calendar? That's pieces of paper; it doesn't have an opinion. Draw a cat on it. Done. Keeping up the momentum is a great way to prevent art blocks in the future.

TLDR: Draw imperfectly and toss it. Selfcare is king. Draw often and don't judge yourself.

Art is a process, not a product.

#shire screams #art tips #ask #art block #long post