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playboysaleen · 1 day

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A Touch in the Dark. (J.O)

One-Shot

Jenna x GN!reader

Summary: Coming from a rough patch in your life, Joy; your close friend finds you an escape and takes you with her to Romania and introduces you to Jenna who is now your girlfriend of four years. Everything was perfect. You had the girl. You finally got to be seen in the music industry but what happens when the love of your life slips through your fingertips and you are stuck trying to move on?

'She was the touch that brought me out the dark."

Warnings: Im from the ghetto so- Violence, Guns, Cursing, Blood, Slight smut, heart break, fluff, gang violence, death, hella angst- all that juice lol.

Word Count: 7k<

Enjoy as i come out of my depressive episode lol.

I did include a song i've made/wrote. So i hope you enjoy that as well. (if you don't like it just keep on reading...)

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Rainy days were your favorite but today?

“No, you don’t have the damn right to ‘baby’ me after what I just witnessed with my own eyes.” You spat walking into your small shared house with the small girl hot on your heels behind you.

“Please, it wasn’t what it looked like.” She whispered, grabbing your wrist which you shoved away again.

“Then tell me what it looked like- what i saw was you and Percy fucking kissing.” You hissed, grabbing the suitcase that sat in the corner of the coat rack.

“I’m going through a-lot right now.” She cried out which caused you to stop shoving your clothing from your shared bedroom. You waited for her to make her way into the room but she stopped at the door with her eyes focused on her shoes.

“I told you that you could come to me if there was something on your chest. We communicate, but you go to someone who is obvious on what the hell he wants with you.” mumbling the last few words you continued to shove a few shirts from the closet into the suitcase now.

“What was so upsetting to you that made you let four years of our relationship go down the drain??” raising your voice now that the truth dawned on you. “Was it when I broke your favorite vase?” you pushed, grabbing a handful of your shirts that hung in the closet tossing them onto the bedroom floor. “Or the time I was home drunk when you missed our anniversary?” You grabbed a pair of shoes and threw them against the suitcase. From the corner of your eye, the small girl fumbled with her fingers now shaking in tears.

“OR MAYBE that time I didn't take Zero out to use the restroom and he pissed on your Prada shoes that you were going to wear for the sudden meeting with Percy?” You grabbed your laptop bag tossing it onto the bed,

“Or when-

“I DON”T KNOW IF I LOVE YOU ANYMORE”

You froze. The drumming of your heart could be heart miles away. The rain droplets hit the window as if they were mocking the way your eyes swelled with tears. You inhaled sharply trying your best to keep this mask on for as long as you can. Nodding, you grabbed your phone sending a quick message to the first person that popped in your mind and started packing everything into your suitcase.

“Could you please just say something?” She pleaded through her cries. Ignoring her, you finished and made your way to the living room grabbing your guitar from your stand taking one last look at the small girl in front of you.

“All I needed was communication and I would have understood, but here we are.” You laughed out the last few words as the tears started to mimic the rainfall that smacked harder against the roof. The smaller girl crashed into your arms, wrapping tight, afraid you'd disappear in a matter of seconds. Tilting your head up to the ceiling you swore you could see the memories of you two playing over and over. Gently grabbing her arms, you untangled yourself, keeping your eyes on the door. Should you leave? Should you stay and talk? Unfortunately, the little you on your left shoulder won. Grabbing the door handle, you swung the door open taking one last look at the girl that is now on her knees sobbing.

“I wish this could be different, but I know deep down this would all be the same outcome…I’m sorry Jenna.” and with that you walked away. Closing a door you thought you’d never open again.

Six Months Later

“Can you just shut the fuck up for one second?” You growled out slapping a hand over your eyes shielding the light coming from the window that your roommate opened.

“Sorry dear, I cannot. Now get your ass in the studio and start on that song you gotta finish.” Joy spoke, pulling the blankets off your body then proceeding to clean up the liquor bottles from the floor.

“I heard Wednesday is getting a Season 2.” You started, Joy turned to face you which you quickly waved your hand sending her a small smile. “It’s okay, luckily we stayed in Romania huh?” you added which a sigh of relief slipped her lips. A box was placed in front of you where you glanced at her expression. You quickly waved your finger at her shaking your head.

“No. Take it back.” You mumbled, hopping off the bed walking to your closet grabbing clothes then making your way to the bathroom pointing your finger at Joy once more.

“Oh come on, it’s been six months. Not only is my team tired of talking to you through me…your fans miss you. Everyone still thinks you died even though I literally post with you everyday.” Joy pleaded, placing the box on your bed pointing back at you. You let out a loud dramatic groan closing the door, placing your hands against the edge of the sink. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, locking with the small scar that slightly hid behind the fresh ink along your chest. Running your left hand over the new tattoos you got a few weeks back that covered most of your neck, back, chest and arms. You were art. You are a masterpiece. Shaking out the memories that flooded your mind, you hopped into the shower starting your day.

- - - - - - - - - - -

“The lyrics are amazing, just start from the top and for the love of god! Let me start the damn live!” Joy yelled from the other side of the studio. You sent her the finger then a thumbs up. The instrumental started to play in your headphones while you sent a glance at the screen that sat next to you showing the live stream of your fans going crazy.

I gave what you wanted,

Love and all my attention,

But you broke me and strayed away..

“Babe! You won't believe what Percy pulled on Emma, funniest prank ever!” Jennas small voice was heard from the front door. You kept your eyes on the guitar strings that you quietly played letting her words echo to the back of your mind.

“Why are you dressed?” She asked, stopping midway from the kitchen and living room. Your fingers stopped finally looking up at the small woman, you stood placing the instrument on its stand undoing your tie. You shook your head taking the small box from the table, shoving inside your pocket and placing the bouquet of roses on the coffee table. “I am glad you had a good time with the crew. I am going to wash up and call it a night. Goodnight and Happy Anniversary.”

I heard from an acquaintance,

That you lose all your patience,

And decided with him you’ll stay.

“Y/n? Please tell me you’re here…” Joy yelled from the front door hearing her light footsteps running to your room. You laid your head against the wall as you hugged your knees. Joy bursted through the door finally catching your fatigue figure in the corner of your dimmed room. Arms were wrapped around you and you lost it. You let go.

“It’s okay, let it out. You’re okay.” She whispered into your ear, your hands gripped her shirt tighter as your sobs grew louder. Your smashed phone flickered with the instagram post of Jenna in Percy's arms with the smile you knew too well.

It was too late. You knew it was him all along.

But your love,

Hits me like a ray of pain.

And your love,

Drowns me in vain like the waves..

No lifeboat, No vest.

I have to love whatever of you I have left…

And your love,

Drowns me in vain like the waves…

Finishing the song, you open your eyes to see Joy dancing around behind the glass which brought a smile to your face. You noticed a few unknown faces in the engineering room that you never saw before. You tapped the screen ending the live then making your way out the booth to Joy.

“I didn’t know I would be performing for a crowd,” you joked, extending your hand out to one of the men that quickly copied your actions. You greeted each man then stood next to Joy.

“The main guy you need to meet should be up here any second.” the man that wore a suit that screamed money spoke, sending you a warm smile. The door opened and when you turned your head to the new face you swore you saw a ghost.

“You’re Y/n right? I heard so much about you from my girl Joy!” He smiled, you stood frozen processing the man standing in front of you. It was Brent fucking Faiyaz. You extended your hand which he laughed pulling you into a dap/hug. Pulling away, you glanced at joy toying with the engineering computer pointing at the booth which you smiled at.

“So, let's make some music shall we?”

After a few hours of making a few beats, you gently spun on your chair humming melodies while Brent sat next to you nodding along to the beat that was playing.

“Can you spit?” Brent spoke out cutting you from your thoughts, you laughed softly, “not really, i never-” Joy entered the studio with snacks sending you a look- “They can.” Brent laughed, pulling out his phone, sending a few more beats to the studio computer.

“If you want me to be honest,-” you broke the silence standing up from your seat, Brent leaned back in his chair waiting as Joy sent you a small nod. “I don’t want to write my pain in one whole song, I want to throw a little in each one that I write. I want to express not only my side of what I went through but what I feel I was seen on the other…if that makes sense.” Brent's eyes widened and you swore you saw a light bulb go off on top of his head. He pressed his index finger on the space bar, dragging you along with him to the booth while the song started to play.

It ain't the time, for you to walk

If i won't let go

I can tell, that aint what you want

But it's like you can't let it show.

Brent began to sing his lyrics while you closed your eyes, soaking in the lyrics, generating your own. After his lyrics came to an end, you started-

Girl, i’ve tried again and again,

To give you all of me, but you deny

“Girl that aint right” Brent harmonized with your voice which you rushed to the booth restarting your verse and starting where you left off. Brent took a seat next to you on the second mic nodding his way to joy which with no hesitation she pressed play.

And i chose you, cause you’re all i need,

And you chose that man, but that man aint me.

So don’t call my phone, acting like you care

I done made my move, I know life aint fair.

Brent started the chorus and you decided to harmonize and add your own ad-libs. Brent looked your way sending a thumbs up, you sent him a nod then turned your gaze to Joy which she again, was jumping around in the engineering room. You glanced at the Ipad on the stand to see the live stream going and one comment stood out-

“Whoever they’re singing about should be ready to see their face everywhere.”

It was like that comment was true. Here you are two weeks later on a flight with Joy and with a last minute invitation; Letitia. Yes. Shuri- THE black panther. And yes, you did break your neck to look around to see if Michael was with her but to your luck he was not. You did get a DM from him a day later when you landed in LA. A small “My bad on not being able to join you guys on the LA vacay, I’ll try my best to see if i can make it. Best of luck bro!”

Honesty? A DM? When you started he did reach out and you both talked for a bit before he was pulled for another movie. That was all you needed to realize that you are getting buzz. You are no longer a shadow. Hiding behind someone who welcomed all the shine, but the way you held onto Jenna made you feel like you were touching the sun. She was your star, but sometimes the sun can be harmful. You were burning but the warmth and abliss you felt from the pain had you blinded.

“Okay you two, let's get the work out the way and we can make our way to the splurging.” You joked, making your way down the stairs of the jet Letitia happens to own. You opened the door for the women then followed behind them into the car.

“So how does it feel to be in LA?” Joy asked, rolling her window down letting the dusk air run along her arm. Letitia nodded along with Joy, mindlessly scrolling through her TikTok.

You hummed softly playing with your highschool ring then looking around at the scenery in awe.

“This is actually my first time in LA.” Both pairs of eyes widen at your answer.

“You never been to LA? What about New York?” You shook your head,

“Just to Romania. Born and raised in Texas.” Letitia rolled her eyes leaning over to the driver showing him the new address which caused you to furrow your eyebrows. What are they up to?

“So, your first collaboration is actually here in LA and she just sent me the address.” You nodded, awaiting who it would be, “How do you feel about SZA?” Your eyes almost popped out of your head. Breathlessly laughing, you nodded again but with A LOT more energy.

“For the love of god! Please don’t turn into a tomato!”

Damn Joy.

But a tomato you were.

“Can you stop looking like you’re constipated?” Joy whispered to you. Looking up from your phone you sent her the bird but quickly shoving your hand into your jacket pocket when SZA walked into the studio.

“I love your lyrics Y/N,”

You only nodded, glancing at the two knuckleheads going back and forth while you sat against the high chair playing with the Audio chord.

“Let's start then.” Whispering, SZA sent you a smile sending a nod to Joy as she pressed play. You shuffled to the side grabbing the other mic stand starting your verse,

I'll touch that fire for you

I do that three four times again, I testify for you

I told that lie, I'd kill that- mmmh..

You softly scoffed in the mic sending a shy smile to SZA continuing your verse. Joy eyed your body language as a small laugh made its way out her mouth. “They’re slowly coming back, it makes my heart happy that they finally get to express how they feel.” Letitia chuckled leaning against the desk glancing every now and then at the live stream that saw you and SZA nodding and swaying to the music.

“So when are you going to tell them?” Letitia asked. Joy hummed, shaking her head,

“Percy knows what he is doing and I am scared that he will try to get under their skin to get them to break.” Joy answered as she edited the EQ on your voice then glanced at Letitia. “They know. They just do not want to say anything. Y/n is still trying to open up about everything, so let's give them time.” Letitia nodded at her response, going back to listening to you and SZA.

I do what all of them around you scared to do, I'm not

Long as you juggin' out here for me, I got it

Mobbin', schemin', lootin', hide your bodies

Long as you dreamin' 'bout me, ain't no problem

I don't got nobody, just with you right now

Tell the truth, I look better under you

Sza started her hook which caught you by surprise, a huge smile plastered on your face when she placed her hand on your arm. She closed her eyes, finishing the hook which did leave you blown away. She went and dived right into her verse and the hook again.

In the droptop ride with you, I feel like Scarface (Scarface)

Like that white bitch with the bob, I'll be your main one (main one)

Let's take this argument back up to place

Sex remind you, I'm nonviolent, I'm your day one

We ain't had shit, yeah, it was magic, yeah

Smash and grab shit, yeah

Nasty habits take a hold when you not here

Ain't a home when you not here

Hard to grow when you not here, I'm sayin'

I can't lose when I'm with you

How can I snooze and miss the moment?

You just too important

Nobody do body like you do

I can't lose when I'm with you

How can I snooze and miss the moment?

You just too important

Nobody do body like you do, you do

You signaled Joy to keep the track going when a idea popped into your head,

Main one ridin'

How you frontin' on me and I'm the main one tryin'?

How you blame it on me and you the main one lyin'?

How you threatenin' to leave and I'm the main one cryin'?

Just tryna be your everything

Main one ridin'

How you frontin' on me and I'm the main one tryin'?

How you blame it on me and you the main one lyin'?

How you threatenin' to leave and I'm the main one cryin'?

SZA leaned into the mic singing the hook. You nodded along adding faint back vocals which Joy was right on top of. Once the song ended you glanced at the Ipad noticing a comment that made a lump form in your throat.

Jenna joined Y/n’s live? My life is complete.

SZA rammed into your body which to your instincts held her waist as she squealed swaying you both side to side. You laughed lightly pulling back locking eyes with SZA. “WE DID IT!” you nodded at her excited outburst. “We did, you were amazing.” now she was quiet looking between your eyes.

“You have beautiful eyes, and your nose is cute and-”

“Ohhhkay, SZA girl, you are a little too close to my lova!” Letitia spoke into the mic which caused SZA to shuffle back sending a playful glare at the two girls giggling. “Better cuff 'em now or I’m gonna have to take matters into my own hands!” SZA joked back that you stood frozen and for sure looking like a tomato. SZA looked back at you, satisfied with the reaction she got out of you. She leaned forward placing a kiss on your cheek walking out the booth. You glanced at the screen seeing too many hearts flying around. You chuckled, rubbing the back of your neck.

“Please know my loves, my safe word is Pineapples and well… I'm really close to screaming Pina Colada.” Laughing emojis popped up and a name popped up with a blue check-

Proud of you.

You hummed, eyeing the comment then moving back, making your way out the booth leaning against the desk next to Letitia. You whispered a ‘thanks’ to her which she lightly bumped her shoulder against yours nodding. “You know I got you.”

“Alright, let's see their engineering skills Joy!” SZA hollered from the far end of the studio. She laid on the couch typing her way on her phone. You took a few steps into the studio grabbing the guitar playing a few chords. Why was she on your live? It's been months since you’ve spoken to her and you can’t shake this fire feeling in your chest that comes around when she's mentioned. Was it resentment? Anger? Unbagged feelings?

“You just finished a song and you're already making another?” Letitia's voice brought you back from your thoughts when she took a seat next to you. Shrugging your shoulders, you continued to play the chords whispering a few lyrics.

“She was my source of happiness and now that she is gone? This is all I have left.” You answered by playing a few more chords then placing the guitar next to you. You leaned your head on Leititas shoulder sighing softly. “Are you ready for tonight?” She whispered back, you nodded sliding your phone out your pocket answering Micheal back from his simple ‘WYD’ DM.

“I invited my two homies in case anything pops off, they can handle it.” Leitia playfully scoffed, bumping your shoulder. “I don’t think anything will go in that route tonight, I forget how you grew up; Jenna really took you out the hood huh?” You huffed rolling your eyes as a small smile crept onto your face.

“It was a nightmare, but here we are. Oh, Rome and Jay are on the way to the AirBnb. Let's scoop them up and we’ll go on that shopping spree I promised.” Letitia snorted, hopping up pulling you with her. You both made your way out the booth into the studio joining in on Joy’s and SZA conversation.

*time skip*

“You take longer than a whole female bro.” Jay gasped, dramatically placed his hand on his chest. Romeo snorted, draping his arm over your shoulder placing all his weight onto you which caused the both of you to fall over the couch. “Get. off.” Laughing loudly, you rolled away from the boy mirroring your actions falling into a boxing stance.

“I don’t see why you even try, they in that southpaw stance. You gonna get fu-” Jays words were shoved right back in his mouth when Rome hunched over holding his stomach. You hopped around smirking at the boy below you trying to catch his breath.

“Should have listened to Jay.” You giggled when Rome rushed your way but missed terribly when you dodged his action sending him into the arm of the couch.

“Alright you animals, let's go.” Joy yelled from upstairs coming down with Letitia by her side. Jay leaned against the bar flashing his pearly whites, “Have I told you that our kids will be the most beautiful mixed kids on this planet?” Joy rolled her eyes passing the tall boy as you sent a smack towards the boy's head. You all giggled heading down to the rental car.

*Time Skip*

You casually lean back on the comfortable seat watching Joy and Letitia try on different clothing. Jay and Rome both were sprawled out on the bigger couch in the corner, Joy giggled at something Letitia whispered which you mindlessly ignored and kept aware of your surroundings.

“If you don’t relax and come try on this outfit i swear.” Joy spoke which snapped you out of your thoughts. Shrugging your shoulders, you went back to eyeing the patterns on the wall. Jay eyed your body language while Rome laid his head against Jay snoring softly.

“Y/m/n.” Joy warned. Rome jumped out of his sleep searching for the voice when he saw you sink deeper into your chair. Jay snorted, shaking his head. “She is middle naming you now, I think you should try it on.” You rolled your eyes,hopping out your seat walking to the dressing room trying on the outfit. Sighing at your reflection, you walked out awaiting for the girl's answers.

“Yea, no. Take it off.” Joy mumbled eyeing the pants you wore. You dragged your feet back into the dressing room changing into your regular clothes. A voice was heard outside the door which you quickly buttoned up your jeans peeking your head out the door. A bright smile plastered your face when you saw who it was.

“What's up homie!” jogging to the man, you pulled him into a hug laughing softly. “Micheal B Jordan! Who knew he would come kick it with a youngin.” he laughed holding his hands up, “I see potential and your vibe is amazing, need you around homie!” You playfully scoffed, shaking your head pulling him in for another hug.

“Since you are here, get this flea a fit before I lose my mind.” Joy joked pushing you both out the dressing room area out the store. Micheal said his ‘hellos’ to Jay and Rome then threw his arm over your shoulder.

“We gon’ give them something to look at.” MB jokes, dragging you out of the store and down the street into a streetwear store. A smile crept on your face when you see the shoes come into view. “Now this is me.”

*SkipTime*

It was way more better shopping with the guys and no, not meaning the girls were annoying it was more of a get in and out gameplay. Jay hummed at your outfit as you walked out your bedroom, “You look like you’re about to go steal a lot of wives” You snorted at his comment fixing your collar to your thin shirt. You shook your foot feeling the tightness of the dress shoe which you were growing to dislike. MB noticed your expression tossing you the bag you bought earlier.

“Wear the forces, it’ll complete the look then fit with your style.” Placing on the shoes, Rome came down stairs from your guest bedroom leaning against the rail. “Damn, who mama we takin’ tonight?” Jay snorted lobbing the football to Rome which to my surprise caught from upstairs.

Grabbing the small box from the duffle bag, you opened the box grabbing the watch that caused a lump to form in your throat. Examining the gold watch, your finger ran over the engraved name that you never thought you would come close to again. Placing on the watch you grabbed the cologne bottle spraying it onto your neck and wrist.

“You never told me the name of that panty droppa” Jay joked walking past you towards the bar grabbing the keys twirling them towards MB. Jay tossed the keys to MB who quickly caught it sending a playful wink your way. You scoffed bumping your shoulder against his,

“Do not get fruity on me baby boy.” MB made a face while Rome wrapped his arm around the taller man following you out the Airbnb. “But-” Jay lifted his hand shaking his head, “It’s what we deal with, don’t even try bro.” You let out a giggle opening the backseat door for Rome sending him a dashing smile.

“For you my love” Rome placed a hand over his chest then playfully fanned his face. “What a gentleman!” You sent a fist into his shoulder which sent him stumbling into the backseat. Taking a seat in the passenger side you looked towards MB sending a small smile.

“Now lets see how this goes”

The ride was pretty eventful with the three boys. Singing, well, horribly. Heated debates and very funny remarks. MB reminded you of one of your close cousins you grew up with back home. Unfortunately, you lost him to gun violence but Micheal was a spitting image of him. Personality and all, so it brought you instant peace once you started getting back in touch with him again. Jay aka Jaime was your ‘almost’ adopted brother; grew up with you since elementary. From standing up to the snot heads in 4th grade for you to running from the laws right by your side. He was with you through it all, he never let one disrespect you or look at you the wrong way. Romeo was your best friend. Rome is what you called him since you loved to make fun of his clumsiness, he’s always leaning before he falls. He always looked up to you. The way you could ‘hold your head high when your life was crashing down’ is what he says to you the moment he gets the call about the breakup. Now that boy can keep you and Jay on your toes. Very. VERY. hard headed. Remember the sweet moment from 4th grade with Jay then the marathon with the laws?

“Wake the fuck up!” Jay yelled barging into your room going through your closet. Jumping out of your sleep, you snapped your head to your brother tossing a hoodie into your face. You slipped on the piece of clothing then slipped on your shoes.

“Talk to me. What happened?” Jay huffed, grabbing the backpack you knew too well. You groaned, grabbing the end of the mattress, lifting and letting Jay grab the firearm that laid underneath the suit you placed on top. A small voice screamed for you to not do this but hey, you knew you had to do what you had to do. You followed behind Jay out the door, hopping in his car driving to the location.

“What the dingo do now?” you asked. Jay did not respond when you knew the answer when the street sign caught your eye. He didn’t even get the chance to place the car in park when you sprung out sprinting into the alley. Three hooded figures sent kicks and blows into the person curled up on the floor. Using all the power in your arm, you sent a fist into one of the men knocking him down. Jay was right behind you throwing jabs at another, grabbing the pipe that laid against the wall you swung hitting the boy (his hood now off his head) in the shoulder.

“Tell Carlos he got some balls sending people to come fuck with us.” You growled, grabbing the other person, shoving him into the ground. Jay knocked the last boy into the wall which sent him limping to his crew. One of the boys sent you a smile, blood coating his teeth.

“Carlos just wanted to send his condolences, he was aiming for a close casket.” Once those words slipped his mouth Rome was quick to grab the hand that was already reaching into your waistband. Jay used his own pistol, sending shots near their feet that sent them running for the hills. Tears pricked your eyes as the words kept playing in your head. Lights flashed in your peripheral that caused the three of you to start sprinting to the car. You pushed Rome in the direction of the car.

“GO. They won't know it's you, meet us at home.” Rome sighed at your command but was quick to catch the keys from Jay driving off. You looked at Jay sending him a sad smile.

“Still remember the way?” You asked Jay jogging down the alley

“Like it was yesterday.”

Stepping out of the vehicle you noticed a lot of paparazzis front of the restaurant/bar. Grabbing the shades from your pocket you mentally prepared yourself for the shouting for the man next to you.

“Bliss!”

“Over Bliss!” “Looking good Y/N!”

Your eyes widen at the multiple calls of your name when MB laughed softly,

“Since when did I get clout?” completely in shock, you started making your way up the stairway but not forgetting to flash a smile to the cameras. Jay snorted, patting your back then striking a pose with you, “You were all over shaderoom with SZA '' ahhh, that's what it was. Probably some rumors about you both being together. Well she was beautiful but realistically speaking, you could NOT handle all that… beauty. Yeah. Beauty. Laughing out loud at the thought you reached the last step watching the door being opened for you by Rome.

“Bliss! Were you involved with the altercation with Jenna and Percy?”

You planted your feet, snapping your head to the voice that caused your body to go into autopilot. You walked to the voice standing in front of the man. Jay missed your arm by an inch trying his best to pull you back.

“What happened?”

The older man's eyes widen at the fact that you were in front of him awaiting for a answer, “Last night there is footage of them two arguing and Percy looked to be a little up close and personal with Jenna and-” he did not even get to finish, you were already making your way inside to the huge table in the back to sat all the faces you knew too well but one stood out. Jenna's eyes caught your heated figure and immediately stood from her chair to stop you. Joy began to panic knowing the look on your face but before you could reach the table MB, Jay and Rome were pushing you into the doors of the huge area for the restrooms.

“Hey! You are not thinking right now. Calm down.” MB was the first to speak as Jay had you trapped between him and the wall. Rome was keeping watch at the door making sure no one came in. You couldn't help but dig your fingernails into your palms trying your best to keep your past actions inside.

“I just want to talk to him.” you breathed out trying to squeeze your way out of Jay’s hold to only be shoved once again into the wall.

“This is what he wants Y/n. To ruin your image. Be smart on this.” Rome spoke, shaking his head at the window at the door shoo’ing off the person attempting to walk in. You took a deep breath realizing the truth. You can't go out like this. This is what she wanted. That is not your concern anymore. She is not yours and you are not hers. You nodded, taking a few breaths but hissed at the stinging in your hand. Jay huffed yet chuckled, grabbing the napkins that were displayed in the area and applied it to your hand.

“Old habit huh.” you smiled fixing your collar then nodding at MB and the duo. Jay sighed sending a small smile your way starting his way out the doors. MB patted your shoulder slightly pushing you out the doors. “I really wanted to get some hits on this fine Friday evening.” Rome mumbled which you snorted, slapping the back of his head. Making your way to the table, Letitia was the first to stand bringing you into a hug.

“You good?” Her muffled question only made you nod patting her back. Moving away, you gave everyone a smile and a simple ‘Hey’ which Emma was quick to dash out her seat jumping into your arms. “Oh how i have missed you!” She fake cried squeezing her thighs around your waist that sent a loud yelp out your mouth. Joy was quick to pull her off at the sudden touch that was quick to spark your anxiety.

“Woah, now you look good.” Georgie commented, making his way to your side bringing you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, tightening your hold, he was your right hand when you went to visit Jenna on set. If Jenna was out with her girls or Percy, He’d come over or you would be in his living room playing Call of Duty Online while he sat in his gaming room streaming with you. He noticed the change in Percy and Jenna when everything was starting to go downhill. He was the first to bring it to your attention but being so in love with the girl, you ignored it. Maybe being secure makes you an easy target to take for granted.

“You've been working out?” Georgie asked wrapping his hand around your inner bicep squeezing that sent a shock into your side that made you flinch sending a light punch into his arm laughing softly. The man sent out a small yelp holding his arm mumbling, “oh yeah, you have.” You moved down the line till you came to a face that you knew too well and no, it was not Jenna.

“Going ghost is what you do now huh?” Johnna spoke, pulling you into a very tight hug. Patting her back, you gently pulled away and sent her a small smile. “Just needed to get away from the world.” She only nodded, keeping her eyes locked into yours. See, the thing with Johnna was she had her eyes on you along with Jenna when you came around. You were a friend of Joy’s when she dragged you to Romania after the behavior change you had once you lost your cousin. That was 4 years ago, but as you can tell Jenna won your heart and Johnna became the scout on the sidelines just waiting her turn. ‘A benchwarmer’ is what Rome said when he literally saw her watching you like a hawk in the distance. Jay cleared his throat allowing you to finally pull away from her hold taking a seat next to Joy. The gods above are probably laughing their asses off on how the seating was at the long table. Looking up to grab the menu a familiar ring came into your view.

“Hi.” Jenna breathed out, your eyes widened at her voice quickly averting your gaze to look over at the boy sitting next to her which you regretted when he sent a smirk your way and placed a small peck onto Jennas cheek.

“Hey.” Was all you said as you grumbled profanities, an idea popped in your head; glancing at Jay which he already caught your drift whispering in Johnna’s ear as she quickly switched seats with him and sent you a very bright smile leaning into your side. Most of the time you’d catch Jenna sneaking glances your way when you’d crack a joke and Johnna would laugh pretty loud. You did pull a dick move when you wiped the smudge lipstick on the side of her lip with your thumb, that seemed to catch Rome’s attention that caused him to choke on his drink.

The main dishes arrived and everyone got to digging in and continuing to catch up on whatever they left off on. To your luck, your social battery was draining and the anxiety you hated so much decided to toy with you. You lifted your hand to grab the condiment yet it slipped from your sweaty palm, fell onto the plate and some landed on your shirt; Now that spiked your anxiety. The shakiness in your hands increased as you went to run your hand through your hair. Jay noticed when you quickly dismissed yourself from the table wobbling to the restroom.

“Stupid fucking shit!” You mumbled out attempting to clean out the stain on your shirt and pants. The stain seemed to be getting worse which was now ticking at your anger,

“You never had much patience with cleaning.” Your head shot up to the voice then snapped back to the stain cleaning it. Jenna took a few steps towards you which you stepped back shaking your head.

“Please, let me.” your hands dropped to your side while she stood in front of you with a small cloth.

“Dab. Don’t wipe.” You couldn’t stop the roll of your eyes. Of course she’d say that. She was never home but when she was mad she would power clean the whole damn house. You felt pressure near your lower area which you caught her hand but couldn't stop the grunt that fell from your lips.

“Stop. I got it.” She took a small step back watching your movements but noticed the shaking in your hands. “Breathe.” She whispered but was only an echo in the back of your mind. Shaking your head, the room started to shrink which was not helping at all. Jenna knew these attacks too well when she gently placed her hands on the sides of your face locking her gaze into yours. Everything stopped. The voices. The noises. The pain. Oh how bad have you been hurting since you left her side.

“I love you.”

That was all that could be said. You loved her. You missed her. You needed her. It only came out as a whisper but to her, it sounded like you screamed from the top of your lungs.

“And I love you.”

Hearing her words an instant image of Percy popped in your head which you flinched away, moving as far as you possibly could. No. She doesn't love you. Not as much as you do. God, how you missed her. Her simple yet fancy attire really brought out the success she has done. She looked down nodding her head, “I know.”

“Do you love him?” She was quick on her toes blurting out a ‘no’ and you were back putty in her hands again.

“Being away from you for so long made me realize that I am deeply in love with you and I can't live without you.” she whispered again slowly pulling you closer. The height difference was very noticeable when you had to look down at the girl whose head was almost laid on your chest.

“In love or scared of being alone?” Now that caught her off guard, she looked up to see the tired look in your eyes. She knew there were still nights you dreamed of losing your cousin and to make things a tad worse, you lost her. She knew you were in a war with your old self, trying to stay afloat.

A knock on the door echoed through the restroom and a voice you grew to dislike caused you to move away from Jenna. “Jen? You okay?” Percy asked through the door. Jenna sighed replying with a ‘yes’ which you rolled your eyes fixing the belt on your jeans.

The doors opened revealing Percy. Jenna’s eyes widened at the actions he's done when you were quick on your toes walking towards him. “You’re not supposed to be in here.” a smirk visible on his face, your height was a bit shorter but you’ve taken on men twice his size. He’ll be a simple sleeper.

“Like you’re welcomed in here.”

Jenna’s eyes almost popped out her sockets when you only chuckled, running your tongue over your top teeth. Looking at the boy sending him a small tight lipped smile but Jenna was quick to step between the two of you pushing Percy out the restroom.

“Get your man Marie, or my crew will.” Jenna nodded quickly but Percy opened the door wide sending you one last look that you wanted to swipe off his damn face.

“Jen, make sure your dog is tamed.” You turned, grabbing the wash cloth from the sink, running it under the water. Knuckles white, you were hoping the boys knew you were gone for a while, coming to the rescue.

“Put a leash on that street mutt while you’re at it.” Jenna turned to Percy instantly shoving him back at his choice of words but it was too late. You had enough.

Walking to the boy, not caring the smaller girl was between you two, you wrapped the damped towel around your knuckles sending a fist into his nose. The boy stumbled back out the doors landing on his back. Jay and Rome were quick on sprinting to the scene, grabbing you off the boy. Percy took his chance when you were struggling against Rome, he jumped up and cocked his arm back connecting his fist to your jaw.

“You should let me go now.” You warned Rome and he released his hold from your shirt when you sprung towards the boy sending multiple jabs to his face. Letting the last punch be a reminder to not fuck with you, his body folded dropping onto the table everyone was sat at. See, simple sleeper. Gasps fell from the people's mouth when you sprung once more at the boy, but this time Jenna stood in front of you with her hands on your chest.

“Stop, please.”

The adrenaline faded instantly once you came to your senses. Jenna had tears in her eyes, MB was holding Rome against a wall trying to calm him down, Jay had his hand on your shoulder speaking to you but his voice was miles away. Johnna held a look in her eye, it was maybe arousal? Letitia seemed disappointed but nodded at the result. and Joy? She held a look of relief. Maybe he needed a reality check and you were the one to give it to him. Finally locking eyes with the girl in front of you, you sent a painful chuckle her way.

“And here I thought you’d find someone better than me,” Jenna sent a look you couldn’t quite dissect when Jay finally tapped your shoulder.

“We gotta go. MB got the whip out back.” You nodded leaning back, making your way out the back door. Letitia and Joy made their way by your side walking through the kitchen.

“I’m sorry it has to come to this.” was all you could say. Joy scooped up a frozen pack of vegetables that laid on the board, placing it against your jaw. The SUV came into view when you slid into the front seat keeping your eyes locked on the dashboard in front of you.

“If you all are going to scold me for breaking, save it.” You mumbled feeling a warm stream of blood drip from your lip. Quickly wiping it off with the end of your shirt, Joy snorted which caused you to turn your head in her direction to meet everyone with proud smirks on their faces.

“I am not mad. Letitia?” Letitia shook her head, “I think Rome shouldn’t have grabbed you in the first place.” MB snorted tapping you on the shoulder, you rolled your eyes trying your best to contain the small tugging the corner of your lips.

“Do not be mad, but you are not going back to the bnb.” MB mumbled, your eyebrows furrowed when a gate you knew too well. The huge metal gates opened when your door was opened by a man in a black suit. Leaning against the door, you mumbled to the man- “Just tell her I fell out the car a few miles back.” He only smiled shaking his head,

“I would if I could, but she's watching the cameras as we speak. She will be arriving here shortly.” You could only groan and drag your feet up the driveway.

“We don’t need any babies in the house anytime soon-” Jay shouted from the back window while you were quick to toss the melting bag at the boy's head which sent a ‘oof’ out his mouth. The car howled in laughter as they drove off into the night. Sighing, you reached her door by putting in the code. Stepping into her large entrance, you made your way to the kitchen opening the fridge grabbing a water bottle. hopping onto the island you looked around her kitchen to see everything was still the same from the last time you were here. Maybe from her being in Romania and filming Beetlejuice or Scream. Sliding off the island and tossing the empty water bottle into the recycle bin you walked up the stairs to a room you knew too well.

“Damn Jenna,” you whispered, turning on the Neon sign that illuminated the entire room. You hummed and smiled when the sound echoed throughout the room. You walked to the small desk that still held your laptop taking a seat. Logging in, your last mix was still open and untouched from the last time you were in here and that was maybe a year ago. The song was complete but you felt like it deserved a slower version. Pressing play, you started your journey on changing the tempo, tune and even adding chops. What you didn’t notice after a good thirty minutes was a silhouette of the girl leaning against the door lost in your zone. Nodding your head at your results, moving your fingers with the beat and singing along.

“You were always stuck on that song.” she finally spoke which caused you to snort softly nodding. You started the song back to mix and save the song cause who were you to pull a rookie mistake.

“Wasn’t my type of vibe at the time, but i finished it.” you started turning to face her, “You always wondered who i was writing about, it was about you when i first saw you.” Jenna smiled your way, opening the door wider, letting the hallway light shine onto your face. Her smile fell when she noticed the dried blood on your shirt and the cut on your lip still bleeding. You stood on your feet walking out the room into her bedroom heading straight to her master bath. Plotting down on the toilet with Jenna already grabbing the first aid kit, you hummed quietly awaiting for the war you knew was about to start.

“George told me that you broke his nose and he needed stitches for his eyebrow” she started grabbing the gauze placing it onto the top of the alcohol bottle. You turned your gaze from her actions scoffing loudly. “That's not enough.” she shook her head applying the cloth onto your lip which did cause you to flinch back. A loud sound rang through the bathroom when your elbow rammed into the toilet top. A growl bubbled your throat when you looked up through your lashes to see Jenna placing a hand on her hip watching the sight in front of her.

“You didn’t warn me.” A hand was placed on your thigh which you grumbled spreading your legs slightly open so the girl could step in between.

“You should be used to this by now.” She was right. You should be but you werent. Jenna met you at a bad time in your life. The late nights where you appeared at her doorstep with the sound of the constant ‘no’s’ you mumbled and bloodied clothes that were indeed yours. Broken ribs, black eyes, concussions and you promised her to not take you to the hospital. To this day, she's kept it. After applying a damp rag on your jaw, Jenna moved to grab the small can of ointment to place on your lip. Standing up, you leaned against the sink watching her movements.

“I heard about the argument from some camera head.” Jenna hummed, keeping her eyes strained on the ointment. She shook her head but the way she was at peace caused you to lean closer towards her. “You don't deserve that Marie.” you continued, placing your shaking hand onto hers. She looked up to see your hooded eyes.

“Then what do I deserve?” she whispered when your free hand ghosted over her hip. You shrugged, sending her a playful smirk.

“A bliss.”

“Oh really?” She teased. You nodded towering over her, the ointment was long gone from the both minds that only craved one thing.

“I-”

Her lips smashed against yours, with a force that caused your backside to hit the sink. You wrapped your arms around her waist pulling her closer. So close you could feel her body molding into yours. You pulled away when your chest felt very tight, shaking your head leaning your body back against the sink.

“We going too fast now” You whispered, placing everything back into the first aid kit. Her chest heaving from the heavy breathing, she agreed with a nod walking into her room disappearing in her huge closet. You awkwardly stood in the middle of her room not knowing what to do. She walked back out with a set of clothes that were yours, you sent her a small smile grabbing the clothes from her hands walking back into the restroom. You turned on the shower then you were back in front of the mirror with your head in your hands. Removing your shirt, you noticed there was more dried and fresh blood streaming down your side. Grumbling, you turned towards the side trying to see where the blood came from but to your luck, you couldn't see shit.

“You’re bleeding.” Jenna spoke again, you nodded still trying to see where the bleeding was from but she could. Grabbing the rag from the sink and placing it onto your back, a satisfied sigh slipped from your lips. Her fingers ran along your back and sides causing your knuckles to turn white from gripping the counter a little too hard.

“It should stop when you shower, let me get you a towel.” Before she could walk away you grabbed her hand bringing her back to you. “I just want to say thank you…for you know helping me and not seeing me as the bad guy.” there was a small spark in her eyes which caused everything to go dark around her. The spark you saw when she first stood this close to you when she caught you playing a pick up game with your crew after she came home for a short vacation.

“Aye Bliss, ain't that yo girl?” Rome shouted from down the court while you were trying to get out of this weak ass lock up from Pedro. You glanced to see the small girl taking a seat on the bleachers with a small smile on her face. Two tall buff men sat next to her when all you could do was smirk. “Come on B, you ball hogging.” Pedro mumbled reaching in to steal the ball, you moved the ball to your free hand leaving him in the dust. You did a no-look-pass towards Jaime letting him drop a dime. Sending a cocky smile you pushed his buttons, “I see you missed your appointment with Dr.D since them ankles keep breaking.” Everyone laughed but then ran your way when Pedro pushed you with force causing you to fall on your back. Quickly hopping back up with Rome wrapping his arms around you moving you away from the scene.

“Go with yo girl brah” you laughed as he pushed you her way. Fixing your necklace and sending her that billion dollar smile. “What’s good mama!” She jumped into your arms as you held her close. She wore a mask and hoodie on so no one couldn’t tell who she was but the two men gave it away for you and the crew. ‘We know it’s yo girl with all that security she got’ is what your boys would say when you would get that ‘i’m outside’ the first time you both started seeing each other. You brought her back down to her feet with your hands still on her waist. Her eyes held a spark that made your heart pick up speed.

“I missed you.” she whispered still with her eyes locked on yours. You both didn’t dare move a muscle, you could see the things she wanted to say in her eyes. It’s like the sun knew how you both felt when it hit just right in her eyes. “And I missed you. Pull down the mask and give me a kiss, ain't nobody watching.” She let out a small giggle doing what you told and smashed her lips into yours.

“Mane y'all take that lovey dovey shit somewhere else!” one of the players shouted when you only laughed into the kiss pulling her closer.

It was very hard to keep your feelings at bay when the girl you loved more than words could explain when she was in your arms giving you the look that made you change to who you are today. You let her go grab the towel as you removed your pants so you were left in your sports bra and briefs. She came back and handed you a towel when she stood eyeing the new ink on your skin.

“You finally got the ink you always wanted huh?” she started as you ran your hand under the water humming when the water was just right. “Yeah, I still have my sides to do but you know.” you answered, Jenna leaned against the door frame again chuckling softly.

“You got time.” Your smile fell when the cries of your aunt echoed in your ears. “Time is something we take for granted. This life I live? I don’t have time, I could go any second due to the life I lived.” You spoke, grabbing the towel and placing it onto the toilet top. “That is why I spent every moment with you like it was my last. The thought of leaving this earth with us not on good terms will literally crush me even in the afterlife.” Finally looking up at the girl in front of you, tears brimmed her eyes as she moved closer wrapping her arms around your waist and burying her face into your chest.

“You gave me the world and I still put you through so much. I wanted to take you from a place that caused you pain and here I am feeding more into it.” She spoke into your chest. Sighing, you pulled away looking down at her.

“Let me ask you something.” You started, pulling away letting her hop on the sink awaiting your question. “What did he give you that I couldn’t?”

“I was waiting for a time to tell you this. All those years I kept you hidden from the world that I couldn’t take you anywhere I went. It was draining not having you with me that I decided that it was time to tell the world that you were my person.” She started. You noticed it was going to take a turn when she started playing with her bracelet. “I went to my team to let them know and it went downhill. Most were fine with my decision- hell my manager was happy about it but my PR manager was furious. He wanted me to be with Percy since you were not good for my image. So I spent more time with Percy and I was blinded by wanting to get the stunt over with that being away from you made him seem like someone I could fall into.” You nodded and leaned against the wall keeping your eyes locked on the sliding glass that began to fog up from the hot water.

“Why did you kiss him?” You whispered, preparing for the worst. You wanted an explanation and even if it was months since everything happened you wanted answers. This girl was your everything and finding out all this information made guilt engulf you whole.

“He kissed me. A few hours before…” She motioned her hand between you two. “Everything happened, I was in a meeting and they wanted to do a stunt that involved a kiss. I hated it. I denied it so I was on the way to go see you when Emma stopped me and it was like the world wanted me to sink in a hole. Percy got word before I did and being the prick he is…He gave me a hug and kissed me.” a short breath darted out your nose. You looked to meet her eyes when all you saw were tears.

“He knew you were there. Everything was crashing at once. I tried to explain and I admit that I said things I didn’t mean but the moment you walked out that door I realized I lost the most important person in my life. I lost my light.” She finished looking up from her hands to meet your gaze.

“I went back home when I left.” Her eyes widened when you whispered your confession. “I went to go see my family, and if the world wanted to kill me…not only did I lose my cousin who was like a brother to me,” You stopped trying to swallow the lump in your throat. “I lost my Aunt two weeks after I got back. I fell into this dark place for a few weeks. I went to see Marcos.” Jenna whispered a ‘no’ when that name flew out your mouth. “I did some things that still haunt me at night because I was hurt. Alone. I decided to come back after being there for a good month and Joy took me in and I’ve been trying to pick myself back up since.”

“I wanted a life with you. A family. I respected your decision with your privacy because at the end of the day I was the one you came home to. Jenna, I felt so lost when everything happened and all we needed to do was communicate.” You finished wiping the single tear that slipped down your cheek.

“Would you leave if I asked you, could we try this again?” Jenna whispered. Due to the steam now filling the room you could barely see the small girls frown. You took a step closer. “Would you leave if I told you to give me a hundred dollars and you get a deal?” A laugh flew out the girls mouth at your humor when you moved to the switch to turn on the vent. Her hand was placed on yours stopping you, her free hand cupped your cheek and once you saw the look in her eyes you leaned in placing your lips against hers.

Your lips moved in sync as if both were made for one another. The fireworks that no longer felt like bombs you ran from but the pure feeling of relief you searched for in the last six months. The force of anticipation in the girl in front of you caused your back to hit the wall but the warm water sent a gasp out your mouth and a giggle out of hers.

That didn’t matter after a few seconds when Jenna's hands went to her soaked shirt, removing it. Clothes were discarded and lips were placed in places you both desired. You craved her as if she was the cool hidden sanctuary in the hot scorching desert. She craved you as if you were the nectar from the flower that only grew in a place that no one could reach in this cruel world. You both craved each other in this asylum you all call home. Scientists say the earth is seventy one percent water but all the water you need to quench the thirst of happiness is right in front of you…dropping onto her knees.

***

After a few hours of reuniting in your words, your head rested against Jennas pillow as her head laid against your chest humming softly. You sighed running your fingers through her hair,

“So what now?”

Jennas head lifted, her eyes staring into yours, she placed a chaste kiss onto your lips drawing shapes onto your cheek,

“Well, if you are up for it…I am actually on a two week break as of right now. We can head to the office for a meeting and let them know.” Your eyes widen. She was serious. She wanted the world to know you were hers and she was yours. Years of wanting to make this woman your everything with a rock in your hand but this? This felt like she wanted to do it. You nodded, wrapping your arm around her, bringing her more into your embrace.

“Okay. We can do that.”

Jenna hummed once more, placing her head back onto your bare chest as you leaned over grabbing your phone on the nightstand. Squinting your eyes at the brightness of your phone, multiple notifications of your crew popped on the screen. Clicking on your recent missed call, ringing was heard throughout the room when you placed it on speaker.

“Yeeeeeeoooo” Jay sang through the phone.

“Yo, did you guys make it back safe?” there was static but a voice in the background caused you to roll your eyes.

“Gone head cashapp me that bill will ya? They made about four babies since it's been a good four hours.” Romeo slang out,

“I told you Jenna was their light.” Joy spoke in the background and a lot of ‘ohhs’ boomed from the phone. You looked down at the girl sending her a warm smile.

“She was my touch in the dark.”

#SoundCloud #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #oneshot #lgbtq #love #angst

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