#Shadow singer x reader

[xreaderbooks]

All I Breathe (5)

Pair: Azriel x Vanserra Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault, death, violence, ptsd, language

Summary: Y/n recounts her past with her enemy, making a new 'friend', Azriel makes his appearance in the Autumn Court known at the ball. (angst)

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Available on Wattpad and AO3

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The sound of the door clicking shut made you stir in your sleep, your eyes were crusted by the tears you shed overnight made it twice as hard to open them. You managed to blink the eye that was not on the side of your face nuzzled into your pillow, a familiar tall dark figure made his way over to you and you were suddenly more interested in being awake than asleep. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and the next thing you knew he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

You watch him warily as he fully turns his body to face yours with legs crossed, you wordlessly sat up, matching his position. His silent watchful stare made you feel more vulnerable than you had been last night, it was as if he was afraid you would break if he spoke so much as a whisper.

“I’m not fragile,” Your throat was sore as you spoke. “Say something.”

A mellifluous tune resounded with the one word he replied with, “Something.”

“So you’re a jester now?”

His laugh sang to your heart and you straightened at the odd feeling. You ignored it, your eyes traveling to his spy wear and shot him a look that questioned his presence.

“I thought we should have a check-in on how your end was holding up since we never got the chance to do so yesterday.” He alluded to the both of you not speaking for a whole day after the argument where not-so-kind words were said. You got a flashback of the screaming match where his true feelings towards you were shown. That made it much more difficult to comprehend his actions only a couple of hours ago.

With an exhale you recounted what Beron told you, he listened without a single impertinent remark. “He expects the ‘prisoner’ to be brought to him once you’ve caught him.”

“I’ll handle it,” He says.

“I could help,” You offered hesitantly.

His tone held finality, “I said I’ll handle it.”

You didn’t care if he said he’d handle it, if there was one way to prove you could be of use to your new court, to prove your worth; you would formulate a plan so that Azriel’s main focus could be the alchemist. You could deal with your family but for now, you would let Azriel believe you won’t play a part in it.

You cleared your throat, “I suppose if we are to be allies, you deserve an explanation as to what happened last night.”

“There’s no need-” He started.

“It would make me feel better if we share even the tiniest bit of information about our lives, I can’t trust someone to ‘handle’ something if I don’t know the person I’m trusting.” You persuaded, “It is the reason you can’t stand to be near me after all.”

He didn’t move an inch in response, simply watching you in quiet contemplation as you began to tell your story. “Before I was a spy for Tamlin, I worked for my brothers. I was coerced into their plans of entrapping men who owed them money or who had committed crimes, anyone who escaped them. Whether they had conned their way out of my brothers' grasp or if they were imprisoned and pardoned, if my brothers wanted them it was my job to get them. They made me wear the most attractive dress and made certain my face was painted in a way that would capture the attention of any male. They controlled what I ate, ensured that I train if only so that my figure be the suitable size.”

Your lips curled in distaste, “They taught me the best ways to seduce a male to bed though they never let them get that far. Eris said I wouldn’t be useful if I were spoiled goods, if word got out nobody would want me, not that I cared at least if I were ‘spoiled goods’ it would all stop. They never let them get close enough to do that damage but they definitely got close, too close for my liking and yet not close enough for my brothers to stop them.” Azriel's chest rose and fell in a rhythm you weren’t sure if he was breathing correctly.

“Every night I would take them to a hostel owned by my brothers, after some flirting and a couple touches that made me want to bathe in poison, some were easier to persuade than others. Once I had them pursuing me to the same room that I would take every other male, my brothers would be just around the corner. I swear sometimes they would wait longer just to torture me.” You scoffed at the memory of one night when you plead to the mother they would come quickly, from what you knew of the male he was a thief and a horrible person and loved to touch you in places you always made sure to set your boundaries. Most of them respected it, depending on the male, and until you got to the room it wasn’t a problem.

“One night I had to capture the attention of a lesser fae around my age who owned a carpentry shop left by his father who was very much in debt. He didn’t fall for any of my usual tricks, in fact, he laughed and asked me if I really thought he was that easy. I told him that most are, he got serious after that and offered to walk me to where I was staying, he didn’t know that I was the high lord’s daughter then or that I was sent to lure him into his death. He asked to see me again the next day and every day after that.” You smiled as tears welled in your eyes, “We were together every day for half a year, after the first three months I confessed to what brought me to his store and he confessed to having already fallen in love with me. Even after I told him the truth he still loved me and I loved him, Gods I loved him more than I ever loved anything. Like everything else in my life, it was ripped away from me by my brothers. When they found out about him they tore him apart, I found Lucien near where they dumped his body, they knocked him out so he couldn’t stop him.”

“I had to follow through with every male that they told me to pursue, they let them have their way with me and did whatever they wanted to the guy after. It was my punishment, Lucien couldn’t step in or they threatened to kill me. I played my part for years until Lucien met Jessminda. My father murdered her and soon Tamlin was stepping in and took me and Lucien in. Tamlin and I faked a courtship and marriage for my protection, Lucien became his emissary, and the rest you already know.”

Azriel’s nostrils were flared, and his eyes held something within them that you have seen directed at you far too many times to mistake for anything other than pure rage, though this time you weren’t sure why. “Did they do that to you?” His gaze rested on your eye that had a going from a couple of inches above your brow to your cheekbone.

You shook your head, “Amarantha. She wanted Tamlin for herself and when he denied her, his excuse being me- his wife- with a nail, she cut deep enough to leave the scar. The same eye as Lucien’s to match. The humorous part of it all was she wanted to make Tamlin despise looking at me because of how hideous I look now when he never wanted me in that way.”

There was a tension in the air you didn’t think either of you wanted to address, you climbed out of bed and tied your hair back. You glanced around the room hoping to find something else to focus on. Some invisible force drew you to him, you resisted and instead noticed how his fists were clenched so hard they were white. His hands were covered in scars, you’ve noticed them before but never cared to ask the story behind them.

For an inexplicable reason, his rage made you want to tear the world apart, to try and ease the ire he had in his heart, you sat directly where he was with his legs crossed. His back tense and his wings stiffly folded in, your hand reached for his hand reluctantly. His skeptical gaze made you want to retreat but you would not falter, not after all that you shared.

You made him unclench his fingers taking his large scarred hand into both of yours and to your surprise he let you. “Tell me what haunts your dreams, Shadowsinger,” You say.

“I do not take orders from demanding little girls,” He fakes an authoritative tone yet doesn’t pull away. Your mouth widens into a smile, gratified to hear him joke with you.

“Little girl!” You snorted. “That’s a new one.”

Shock displayed on his face, “That’s a new laugh.”

“You wouldn’t know, now would you?”

“I suppose not,” The solemn expression was brought back. You cursed whatever force tore down the wall of fury you had whenever you were around the spymaster. All you wanted was to hear the sound of his laugh and not the bitter bite of his words. “My brothers burned my hands when I was eight.”

Your hands went slack in his, pieces of the puzzle that was Azriel formed in your mind, that was why he couldn’t touch you. Last night was an exception but the reason he was so distant, the reason he refused to touch you not only because he hated you but because you were made of fire. You lived with fire in your veins, the power that burst out of you when you were hurt or angry, Azriel had multiple reasons to hate you and this one made the most sense.

With that in mind, you released your hold on his hand. Everything was taking formation in your mind, fragments of moments you had spent with Azriel, you and he are more alike than you thought. Your brothers, his and yours, were assholes.

“They were also older and didn’t much care for me, their mother kept me locked in a dungeon for 11 years and barely let me see my mother for more than an hour once a week.” He concentrated on telling you the story, and a crease formed on his brow. Though you couldn’t stand him on a daily basis with his baseless comments on who you are as a person, you felt for him. The more you learned about him, the more his treatment of you made sense. You still wanted to throttle him but there was a part of you that felt him.

A short knock on your door and what sounded like a note slid under the gap of your door. Azriel went to retrieve it, handing it to you with a letter opener. You sliced it open, it was a letter from Eris, informing you of the ball your father was hosting tonight in your and Azriels’ honor.

Azriel was expected to arrive in the Autumn Court tonight and clearly to make an appearance at the ball. You couldn’t remember the last time you attended a revel, it was sure to be interesting and you had to admit to being excited in seeing the shadowsinger in that setting. The fact that it was your family hosting it wasn’t ideal, however, it seemed to be the only time the people of Autumn got to enjoy themselves.

“We are to attend a ball this evening,” You handed the opened letter to him your fingers brushing. You were keenly aware of how much contact you were making with him.

He placed the letter down on your writing desk by your door, he opened your wardrobe, you didn’t realize he had a black bag in there. He unzipped it and pulled out his knives, strapping them to their sheaths on his body. “If you need a weapon don’t hesitate to take any from in here. I’ll be back in time for the introductions.”

With that he faded into his shadows, winnowing away to his mission.

~~~

You slowly made your way down the steps to the ballroom, it had been dressed to fit the occasion. Dark velvet colors, gold trimming, all autumn-themed colors. A feast of food laid out on the tables that lined the walls, servants waiting on stand-by to serve. Those who were at the meeting had brought their families, villagers from the market were invited, it was a large party that you hadn’t been a part of in a long while.

Unfortunately, you knew that once a certain hour came, the families will depart and the revelry will truly begin. Strangers would be found the next morning on the ground, still drunk on faerie wine or other worse scenarios you didn’t want to conjure up in your mind yet.

You were late to the main introduction, not that it was needed but Beron like Rhysand (as you’ve witnessed in the Court of Nightmares) liked to make a show and parade his children to the crowd.

You felt a tug come from somewhere deeper into the crowd, a certain coldness around your ankle, you couldn’t see what it was even if you wanted to. You wore a long red off-the-shoulder satin lace ball gown, courtesy of Beron. The servants brought in the dress as soon as they were down making up your face with dark kohl around your eyes and a red rouge, and dressing your hair down with two strands that framed your face and two thin braids that met in the back of your head, held together by a ruby hair clip.

He wanted to show you off to the Court, show them the daughter (he couldn’t care less about) that was their princess, you were home and it would give them someone to celebrate.

As soon as you entered the chatter around you paused. You didn’t expect to be greeted the way you were, bows and curtseys to your feet were given as you passed and stopped when you reached your father.

At his throne, beside him your mother was sitting, Beron had his hand in hers no doubt halting her from going to you. You curtseyed as low as you could, knowing it would please him, maybe if you did things his way just this one night- he would let you speak to your mother. He waved his hand lazily, careless of your efforts, and signaled for the music to continue.

That was when you went in search of the spymaster. It was surprisingly hard to find him, even with the invisible force that drew you to him as a moth to a flame, the females that had formed a line around him hid him better than his shadows could. You stifled your laughter as you saw his fluster. There was no doubt he could get the attention of any female he wanted by just a look- though you would never tell him that aloud- you were puzzled by the sudden shyness.

The cold whisper came back, this time around your neck beckoning you his way. You conceded and made your presence clear to the females around him, they cleared a path for you, not daring to get in the Princess’ way.

You could sense their lack of hope when you reached your enemy, not that they knew you had no interest in him and that they could have him. Part of basked in the fact that for now, at this moment, he was begging for you to save him.

“Enjoying yourself are you?” His jaw was set a look of annoyance in his eyes.

“Quite so, yes. They appear to be fond of you.” You teased.

He grimaced, “They wouldn’t be if they knew what I was up to just two hours before this.”

“Sounds like it would be an interesting story then,” You held your hands behind your back and peered up at him eager for him to give you the details. “Do tell.”

He shot you a look that you knew meant he definitely wasn’t going to tell you what you wanted to hear, especially not in front of guests. His arms were folded, completely guarded, he wasn’t at the Night Court but he was entirely vigilant for any sign of a threat.

You sighed, “Do you ever have fun?”

He gave you a side-eye. You scrunched your nose up at him in response, which got him to lessen the harsh lines on his face. “It’s a party, Shadowsinger.”

His tone was quiet as it always was, but somehow even more so, “You know it’s not just some party, Y/n.”

You gave out an exasperated breath and rolled your shoulders, “I just saved you from the clutches of bloodthirsty females and this is how you repay me?”

“Your court, your people, your problem.” He shrugged.

“First of all no to all of that,” You glanced at the refreshments table where you longed for a drink but your brothers were surrounding it like sharks. “Second, I’d be most appreciative if you brought me a drink, I’m parched and though I may regret this comment later- you’re the only one I trust to bring me an unpoisoned drink. Nor do I think they would dare poison you.”

His gaze softened as he walked to the pool of sharks without question.

~~~

A circle of fae was created to make room for dancing the quadrille, though you weren’t fond of where you were currently and the dress made to prove you were owned by your father, you clapped along and laughed with everyone. You watched in amusement as a little girl twirled around the couples, strategically maneuvering through, giggling as she went.

You paused mid-clap, your smile fading as you saw the girl about to faceplant into the ground. Panic struck as you saw Eris catch her from tripping, he held her tiny wrist and spun her around once sending her on her way. He straightened his lapels and his posture, heading in your direction. You prepared yourself for what would most likely be an interesting interaction. Azriel who took it upon himself to be a sort of bodyguard for you in the truce you both agreed on, went to the washroom, so you had no comfort.

“Allow me a dance?”

He didn’t give you a chance to respond as he pulled you into a respectable distance, a hand on your waist and the other in yours. The position was familiar as he was the one who gave you dance lessons when you were as young and loved as the girl he’d just saved. A light tune played by the string quartet was in the background as you routinely flowed around the ballroom.

“The dress compliments you, Sister.” Eris took both of your hands in his and pushed you outwards then inwards, giving you a twirl, and stopped to where your back was to his chest, swaying to the right and again to the left. He spins you again to his front, “You’ve gotten better.”

“You look quite stately yourself, brother.” The name tasted bitter in your mouth but if he was behaving, so would you, there was a show to be put on anyhow. “And what with how seriously you took my education in the waltz, how could I not?”

He looked almost proud at how you’ve kept up, a deep part of you preened at the thought. Others who were on the floor struggled to keep up with the pace you and your brother had set.

“He won’t allow you near her until you bring him what he wants,” He whispers in your ear. Of course not, you school your features to hide your furious thoughts. Your mother was your only weakness, the only kind soul who loved you and your brother, Lucien.

Azriel wanted to capture and deliver the ‘escaped prisoner’. You weren’t going to let him do it on his own in the first place, this only gave you more reason to disobey the orders that he had conveyed. You would find a criminal as you always had and lure him into a trap, one you would have to figure out later and deliver him to your father.

Your mind wandered as you floated through the rest of the dance. With a final bow to your partner, Eris spoke softly as he passed you “He hasn’t stopped admiring you since you walked into the room.”

You whipped your head around but he was gone, worming his way around the excited bunch of fae by the refreshments.

The song had ended and a longways dance was set up, more people joined making a long vertical line from the throne to wear the door was. What shocked you was that Azriel had joined on the male side of the line, you kept your position, and you knew the surprise was written all over your features.

A barely visible smirk whispered on his lips as your bodies passed each other in the first line switch, your backs turned, and your hands found his as you moved to the music. You hopped along with the other fae, switching partners and giggling as you went. The same pattern sequenced; facing your new partner, right wrist barely touching theirs then your left- switching sides with a turn, footwork with energetic hops, pulling in-pulling out, and moving on to the next.

It happened twice more before you were finally met with Azriels beautiful face. Your chest heaved from breathing heavily, and your heart raced, pounding like horses running in an open field. You felt euphoric from the air, the dancing, the energy- him. No, not him. You quickly shut down those thoughts.

“Are you alright?” He stepped in your direction.

You took a step back, nodding your head with enthusiasm. “I’m amazing, I didn’t know you could dance.”

He didn’t look convinced by the state of you, he placed a hand at the small of your back and guided you away from the crowd. “Hardly.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” You teased further.

With the way his gaze held yours, you suddenly couldn’t find yourself making eye contact with him. Your corsets felt like they were suffocating you, “I’m going to go to freshen up.”

You didn’t give him a chance to answer as you fled. You wanted to see your mother, she was the only person who could tell you what was wrong with you, the only person you could trust. She was granted leave by your father and escorted out of the ballroom before your dance with Eris.

You wandered along the halls, assuring your steps were quiet but with every corner, you turned you felt yourself being followed. You tested your theory by going the long way to your mothers' chambers, whoever it was that was pursuing you either didn’t care that you knew they were following you or is just plain lousy at their job.

You took a right and attached your back to the wall to catch your stalker off guard, hoping to gain an advantage. You heard the heavy footing of your pursuer and went in for the attack only to be slammed onto the wall opposite where you posted yourself.

“You forget where you learned all your tricks, Y/n.” Your second eldest brother sneered close enough to your face you could smell the faerie wine on his breath. He held your left wrist in a tight grip behind your back. You bared your teeth at him as you inched your other hand to the dagger you had hidden under one of the layers of your skirt.

He tsked in mock disappointment, “You know you’re not allowed near her. For someone who acts like they're smarter than the rest, you don’t seem to think.”

“It’s awfully bold of you to question my wits,” You tilted your head to the left.

“You came back for a reason” He glared suspiciously, “Are you here to take your revenge? Is that why you’re with them, with him? You’re going to finish us off with the executioner you brought with you and end us all.”

“What are you going on about?” You had no clue what wild insinuations your brothers or your father held in their small brains, you supposed you should be glad that they were so far off the true reason for your appearance.

If he wanted to be paranoid about you wanting to take revenge for his maltreatment of you when you were a child, then so be it.

He pulled you from the wall and slammed you against the wall so fast your neck bent back enough for your head to hit the stone. “Answer me!” He shouted.

You managed to grip the tip of the dagger’s handle, and with a flick of your wrist, you sliced the knife against his abdomen. He let go of you if only to observe his wound, you cut deep enough to draw blood, lots of it.

“You bitch!” He growled and lunged for you, yet he never got the chance to touch you.

A shadowed figure with great big wings had knocked him to the floor, Azriel held a lethal aura, he lifted your brother by the collar of his shirt and had him against the wall the same way he had you, except, his forearm was pressed against his throat. His tone in every way threatening, the murderous fury in his hazel eyes meaning every word.

“Touch my mate again and I will kill you.”

Mate.

Mate.

Mate.

Betrayal, pure betrayal you didn’t deny yourself, you didn’t hide your thoughts from him. You let it show in every line of your face, every movement of your body. You took several steps back, disbelief was the one true emotion that didn’t allow you to process.

“Y/n-”

“No, don’t come near me.”

He was overwhelming you with his scent, everything about how you were recently feeling around him now made sense. All your senses came into place the night you touched for the first time. Now all you could think about was; how long had he known. Why would he keep this from you? When did the bond snap into place for him?

You left him standing there with your brother who was frozen with fear. You turned your back on him and went to find your mother.

The guards standing post at her door reluctantly let you in, she was sitting in front of her balcony, just now removing her jewelry. At the sight of you, she dropped everything and opened her arms, receiving you in a hug. 

~~~

Next Chapter

Taglist:@kuraikei - @americancowgirl19 - @feyres-fireheart - @brekkershadowsinger - @marina468 - @highladyofhogawarts - @parker-natasha - @morks-watermelon - @valeridarkness - @judig92 - @honestlywtfisgoingon - @awkardnerd - @a-mexican-waffle - @s-sabbas - @weirdo-fun - @graciereads - @cmay25 - @cult-of-enji-todoroki - @cosmic-whispers

(if your name is crossed out that means tumblr won't allow me to tag you)

#azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x you #azriel fic #azriel x y/n #azriel acotar #acotar imagines #azriel acotar x reader #azriel spymaster #acotar fanfiction #lucien vanserra x sister reader #eris vanserra x sister reader #eris vanserra x reader #autumn court #lady autumn x helion #enemies to lovers #enemies to found family #azrielxreaderbooks #azris #shadow singer x reader #all i breathe xreaderbooks

[ellievickstar]

Imagine….

The ACOTAR characters as your therapist :D (Illyrians first)

Rhysand:

Notebook on lap but is just digging through your mind (If you said okay)

If your just there for normal help:

“So nothing very traumatic or brain damaging? Parents okay? Must be nice…”

If your really depressed like really messed up:

Irritating you but in a brotherly way not like how he is with Feyre

Welcome to the mentally unstable but still good part of the Night Court!

Azriel:

Soft Az:

“Do you need like a friend?”

“Uh my shadows are very good company?”

Basically making sure your comfy and stuff but also getting you to pour your heart out

Brooding Az:

Trying to hide in his shadows

Cassian:

This bitch be half offering to kill whoever hurt you and you would be so confused if he is serious or not like:

“I could kill them if you want but like murder isn’t the best option so you shouldn’t but I could,”

If he is in a crabby mood he would 100.1% Just brawl you just to take the edge off for the both of you

A/N: How accurate is this? Tell me that Cassian won’t do that and I might just murder you because that is what he does with Feyre.

tag list: @moonfawnx @bankerfrog @younxii @starlit-terror @hideing @flightlesslittlebirdie @menagerofmischief @famousbasementpainter @owllover123 @bookworm-nerd6 @gigisssz @bethany-bee0128 @cityofidek

#azriel #azriel angst #acosf #acotar fandom #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #rhysand #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #azriel acotar #cassian #amren #acofas #acomaf #cassian acotar #azriel x reader #azriel acomaf #azriel and reader #Azriel fluff #Shadow singer x reader #a court of thorns and roses

[lyssasdrafts]

— AFTERGLOW 🦇🌟

azriel x reader smau!

status: completed!

pairing: azriel x reader, slight eris x reader

includes: humor, angst, fluff, modern au, coffee shop au, college/university au, strangers to lovers (for azriel x reader), childhood friends to lovers (for eris x reader)

description: being a childhood friend of the archerons and vanserras; you happen to keep running into a certain member of the inner circle at velaris university, but pursuing a new relationship with someone else is hard when you struggle with commitment issues from your first love.

content warning: contains themes of azriel’s canonically toxic family life, mentioned/implied homophobia for mor’s arc (chapters containing these will have a warning)

00 profiles: y/n’s group exiles cafe inner circle

001: “ i blew things out of proportion ”

002: “ i pinned your hands behind your back ”

003: “ thought i had reason to attack ”

004: “ fighting with a true love ”

005: “ boxing with no gloves ”

006: “ this ultraviolet morning light ”

007: “ chemistry ‘til it blows up ”

008: “ tells me this love is worth the fight ”

009: “ tell me that you’re still mine ”

010: “ why’d i have to break what i love so much? ”

011: “ it’s all me, in my head… ”

012: “ i’m sorry that i hurt you ”

013: “ but it’s not what i meant ”

014: “ i don’t wanna lose this with you ”

015: “ just wanna lift you up, not let you go ”

016: “ i lived like an island ”

017: “ tell me that it’s not my fault ”

018: “ i don’t wanna do this to you ”

019: “ i’m the one who burned this down ”

020: “ just don’t go ”

021: “ meet me in the afterglow ”

bonus chapters:

002.5: “ who’s that barista guy? ”

013.5: “ why are you calling me your babygirl? ”

021.5: “ the wedding ”

#— afterglow #acotar #acotar imagine #acotar au #azriel au #azriel fanfic #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel shadow singer x reader #night court x reader #inner circle x reader #acotar rhysand #acotar cassian #bat boys x you #bat boys x reader #azriel imagine #azriel acosf #eris x reader #eris vandaddy #eris vanserra #eris vanserra x reader #autumn court x reader #acotar lucien #azriel angst

[p3arldiver]

Masterlist

A Court of Light and Sorrow

Azriel/OC

Summary:

With no memory of how she ended up abandoned on the forest floors, Devyn awakes on the edge of Velaris, deep wounds covering her chest and back. Convinced that death would be with her soon, she begins to accept her fate.

Azriel’s shadows had warned him of a woman, left on the brink of death on the outskirts of Velaris. Winnowed before her, he felt something. A connection.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

#acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #shadow singer #shadowsinger #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #angst #mating bond #mates #acosf #cassian #nesta #cassian x nesta #elain #morrigan #lucien #emerie #feyre #rhysand #smut #eventual smut #azriel smut #azriel fluff #azriel angst #azriel acotar #acotar au

[marvelsmylife]

The orange peel theory

Pairing: Azriel x reader

A/n requests are open

The orange peel theory. It was a silly test to see if their mates truly loved them. They passed if they peeled the orange for their mate without complaint. If they question why or refuse, they fail. It’s the test that Rhysand passed and Cassian failed. 

Rhysand was rewarded with a kiss from his mate, while Cassian was met with the orange he refused to peel being chucked at his head. To make up for his mistake, Cassian picked up and peeled it before giving it to Nesta. She begrudgingly accepted the fruit from her mate and offered to share it with him.

Since you didn’t have a mate yet, you were getting ready to peel yours yourself. The second you were about to start peeling your orange, Azriel showed up: “May I?” Azriel extended his hand and caused a confused expression to appear on your face: “Your orange. Let me peel it for you. I know you don’t like the scent of citrus on your hands”.

Smirks appeared on Feyre and Nesta's faces as they watched the shadow singer peel the orange for you. Everyone knew Azriel had feelings towards you and they wanted nothing more than for you to finally realize it: “Thank you so much Az, I really appreciate it”.

“It’s no problem,” Azriel replied and handed you your now peeled orange “Let me know if you need me to peel any more for you”.

You simply nodded and watched as he walked away. The minute he was gone Feyre and Nesta stared at you wildly: “What?” you asked.

“How can you not see that Azriel is in love with you ????” Nesta asked as Feyre nodded in agreement “he peeled your orange without even being asked”.

You let out a nervous laugh before replying: “Azriel isn’t in love with me. He’s still in love with Mor”.

“That is where you are wrong y/n,” Rhysand replied, Cassian nodding in agreement with his brother. “Azriel hasn’t been in love with Mor ever since you came into his life”.

You started replaying all of the interactions you’ve had with Azriel and started wondering when things changed between the two of you: “What if you're wrong? What if he’s just being nice because I'm Nesta and Feyre’s friend?”

“First of all, I’m insulted you don’t think of me as a friend,” Cassian dramatically placed his hands over his chest “Secondly, Rhysand and I have known Azriel for five centuries, I know when our little shadow singer has feelings for someone and that someone is you y/n”.

You wanted to deny it mostly because you didn’t want to get your hopes up. Yet, the more you thought about it the more you couldn’t deny the lingering touches you would share from time to time. How every time you were upset or sad Azriel would miraculously be there to comfort you. 

The more you thought about it, the dumber you felt for ignoring the signs. “Do you think he’s going to confess his feelings for me? Should I confront him about them?” you asked your friends.

Little did any of you know, Azriel was thinking of a way to finally confess that he was your mate.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar x reader #acotar imagine

[surielstea]

Words on Paper

Based on this request.

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary: Azriel’s jealous over a male in your book and it’s hilarious.

Warnings: Just fluff, short Drabble :)

1k words

You and Nesta hadn't shut up about the men in your books all morning. The new Sellyn Drake novel had come out less than a week ago and the both of you couldn't stop raving about it, you swore you had dreams about the characters, and when you weren't caught up in the plot you were analyzing the characters, the male love interest specifically who Nesta and you were all but frothing at the mouth over.

"I need him, unfortunately," Nesta sighed, looking over to me as we held our planks. Valkyrie training seemed to go a lot faster when the both of you got the chance to debrief over chapters and share what you were passionate about, Cassian didn't seem to care as long as we stayed on task and kept up with the movements.

The exercises had become second nature to the both of you, sure it wasn't as mindless as breathing but after it's been part of your routine for weeks it truly does come naturally, like a second language that only the two of you can speak.

Azriel was slow to insanity at this point. He couldn't seem to adjust to the idea of you taking interest in anyone but him. With Mates, the rule is that if the bond is accepted then there's no one else for that person, intertwined by fate.

So why was he so irritated when you rambled too long about a guy from a book?

"Are you two working out your mouths too?" Azriel stands above you, arms crossed over his chest. Slowly, you look up at him with a wide grin. "Sorry, sir," you tease. Nesta shakes her head in exasperation and you giggle.

It took one minute of silence until Nesta and you were whispering amongst each other again.

Azriel seems to have given up days ago, his eyes narrowed at you from across the sparring mats, Cassian next to him as they drink their waters.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Azriel asks his brother, continuing to stare at both of their mates. “Does what?” Cassian turned to him with an arched brow. “That they’re so obsessed with those men from their little smut novels,” Azriel mutters and Cassian nearly laughs at the death glare the Shadow Singer was saving for the fictional male, who as of late was threatening to take his wife away.

“It’s just words on paper,” Cass shrugs, bending down to place his water on the ground. “I know but, the idea of her wanting anyone else gets under my skin,” Azriel argues and this time Cassian does laugh, it was so odd to see the revered Spymaster so torn up about some guy, who wasn’t even real. “What’re you jealous of him?” Cassian scoffs through his laughter. Azriel rolls his eyes and puts his water down. “Whatever, just don’t come crying when you can’t satisfy Nesta anymore,” He grumbled.

“I doubt that day will come,” Nesta hums from behind the Shadow Singer. He knew she was there, you with her, but he needed to get his point across. “Hey hun, you ready to go?” You dip under his arm, placing a hand on his bare chest. He only nodded in reply.

“Hey, remember what I said, it’s just words Az,” Cassian said before you got the chance to winnow him away, he nodded once more then you took him home.

You didn’t want to know what the General was going on about, you could tell from training Azriel was a little irritated but you couldn’t remember doing anything to irk him.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or just keep pouting like a baby?” You ask and he scowls down at you. You smile, hands coming to his jaw and pressing a soft kiss to his lips, he barely has time to reciprocate it before you’re pulling away.

“What’s got you so tense?” You smush his cheeks together and he just stares at you in reply, so you begin to guess. “Something Cass did?” You ask and he shakes his head no. “Something I did?” He doesn’t move and you deflate, flinging your arms over his shoulders and melting into him. “Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong, please?” You sigh into his neck, already admitting defeat. “Do you like him more than me?” He blurts and you stiffen, pulling away to look up at him confused. “Like who?” You utter. “The guy in your stupid book,” He grumbled and you openly cackled before slapping a hand over your lips. “It’s not funny,” He groans backing away from your touch and plopping down onto the sofa, where he could sulk in peace. “I know, I’m sorry Az,” You say, taking deep breaths to control your giggles. “I’m just saying, what does he have that I don’t?” He frowns and you walk over to him, sprawling over his lap and straddling his hips. “Perhaps a control on his emotions?” You tease and he grumbles beneath his breath like a child, looking away from you.

It was true that Azriel was quite explosive. One would think he’d be less reactive as the Spymaster and yet he might’ve been the quickest to action out of all the inner circle. It was a weakness, something he was working on. It was rude of you to point it out but you make up for it by peppering a line of loving kisses up the side of his face.

“I love you, okay? Only you,” You reassure. “Those men, they’re meant to be thirsted over, you understand that don’t you?” You ask and the male nods. “I just don’t want you wanting anyone else,” He looks at me and my grin widens. “Awh, Az,” You wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tight. “I’m all yours, don’t worry,” You muffle into his neck. “Yeah? All mine?” He asks and you nod rapidly before saying, “Promise,”

“Now stop acting like a big baby,” you pull away from the hug and hold his face in your hands. “I’m gonna go bathe, you gonna keep moping out here or do you wanna join me?” You tease. He doesn’t answer and instead picks you up from where you sit and walks you straight to the bathing chambers.

General Taglist: @fxckmiup @olive-main @iluvyewman-blog @gaymistakeboi @glitterypirateduck @amara-moonlight @impossibelle @fauxdette @going-through-shit @glam-targaryen @cauldronboilme27 @sarawritestories @tele86 @rogerbarnesxx @azriels-shadowsinger @stinkinstuffie @sandramalikstyles-blog @sassyangel16 @lilah-asteria @starsinyourseyes @inloveallthetime @melsunshine @nighttimemoonlover @ireallywannasleep127 @cumuluscranium

Azriel Taglist: @coolepowersthings @lovely-giggles @quiettuba @ilovewarner45 @judig92 @tothestarsandwhateverend @je-suis-prest-rachel @call-me-a-fool @brieflyclassymortal @cherryjain17 @stqrgirlies-blog @chelsiemp @nyxbranwenn @dnfhascorruptedme @summerandsalt @annamariereads16 @thisiskaylin @itsbonniebabe

#suriels tea #drabble #acotar #fanfic #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #x reader #azriel #request #acomaf #bat boys #azriel x you #azriel fluff #azriel x reader #azriel spymaster #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #x you fluff #x you #acotar fluff #x reader fluff #fluff #reader insert #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #1k words #fanfiction #x reader acotar #acotar fic

[offthepages]

I wanna be yours.

Azriel x Shy reader

Summary: When you’re invited out for Emerie’s birthday. The last thing you expected was to have the shadow singer wrapped around your finger for the night. (Based off of this request)

Warnings: Suggestive themes, and eluding to more.

Ageless and Minors DNI

Requests are open!!

Masterlist

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You kept your head down, watching as your feet carried you down the streets of Velaris. You didn’t know why you agreed to go out with your beloved book club. But Nesta, she was so insistent. Gwyn popped in too to confirm she’d be going too. You couldn’t turn it down. But that didn’t stop you from being nervous.

The party was at Rita’s as normal. But tonight it was for Emerie’s birthday. And Nesta had gone all out. As you push open the door your breathing hitches as you look at the crowd. Multiple other Valkyries stood around, the whole freaking Night Court was there! You thought you might pass out, truly. You clutched the small gift for your friend in your hand and started forward, looking around for Nesta. Or someone you’d know at least. You could drop off the gift, a nice new dagger you had made for her- the handle engraved with her favorite quote from the series she wouldn’t stop gushing about. Beautiful and deadly- just like her. But your thoughts are cut short by the heat of someone’s body next to you, and thier breath hitting your ear.

“Boo.” And you jump several feet in the air, whirling around to find Azriel looking at you with an amused grin. You had clamped down on the scream you were going to let out, not wanting to drag any attention to yourself.

You glare at the shadowsinger. “Azriel!” You hiss, pouting up at him. “Thats not funny!”

He holds up his hands in defense, still smiling gently. “Nesta sent me to get you. She said you looked ready to bolt.” Smoothly he offered his hand to you. Looking at it, he was right. You were about to dip. Curse Nesta for knowing that. You take his hand with ease, letting him pull you into him. Navigating you through the crowd, his large hands settled on your waist as he gently pushed you forward. Each step made him press closer to you until all you could feel was his sturdy chest. You prayed to the Mother that you weren’t blushing- or that it wasn’t obvious.

Azriel had never been a touchy person. Nesta had told you that much, albeit with a smirk when you tilted your head in confusion. Explaining that usually he liked to keep his distance, didn’t speak much around people he didn’t know well. But with you it had never been like that. From the moment you met he smiled and greeted you with a kiss to your hand. And you could have sworn you saw pride swelling in his beautiful hazel eyes. And moments like that only happened more, Azriel doing something that made you blush and watching the satisfaction shine through his whole demeanor. Just that morning you had been learning to take down enemies much bigger than you. Azriel made sure you were his partner, pushing and pulling you in the right directions to get you to pin him. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Cassian had explained why this maneuver was good for taking down enemies larger than you. You didn’t miss the way he looked at you as he said something about how even the smallest movements could have the biggest impact. So he paired up everyone, Nesta and him. Gywn and Emerie, You and Azriel. 

Azriel stood in front of you, arms crossed over his broad chest. Watching you size him up. In one move you tried to get him down. But instead you got Azriel grabbing your waist and taking your wrists in his as he pinned them against your own. “Too slow.” He whispers in your ear and lets you go. Standing back to his full height as he waits for you to try again. Glaring at him, trying to find your best inner faith in yourself. You start again, trying a different angle. 

Again he wraps one of his thick arms around your middle and another across your collarbones. “Still too slow. You’re thinking too much. Let your movements be fluid.” He lets you go again, feline grin as he coos “You got this princess.” 

Your cheeks heat, but you push it down. Rushing at him, grabbing his wrist before spinning in and trying to lift him. But he stops you again. Instead intertwining your fingers, spinning you around and into a dip. Your eyes widen at the fluidity of it. How suave Azriel had just been. He tuts at you, “If you wanted me to hold you. All you had to do was ask. But you’re not even trying.” He sighs and brings you back up. Letting go. 

Gritting your teeth, you surge forward. Watching as Azriel’s eyes widen, the pawing at your body this time wasn’t to toy with you. But genuinely trying to avoid getting knocked down. But it was all for naught- as you triumphantly pinned his hands above his head. Straddling him with ease, panting on top of him. You leaned in, whispering, “I won.” Before standing and brushing yourself off. The rest of your teammates were still trying. So you looked back at him. 

Ariel stood, his cheeks dusted pink. You have never made him blush before- or at least to your knowledge. But you felt pride in that. For all the teasing he did. Subtle touches, sexy comments, looks in the halls. Bastard deserved it.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Now here he was. Hands on your hips, chest pressed to your back as he scanned the crowd to try and find your table. All you could feel is his warmth pressing into you. As if he wasn’t phased at all by this morning. Even just thinking about it made you blush! The way you had pinned him had been… it left little to your imagination about his wing span. It made something deep within in you crave more. He gives you a gentle push forward and continues down his path. Leading you to a small back corner, tables all scattered with people and presents. This was where the real party was apparently. You spot Nesta, and she quickly waves you and Azriel over.

Expecting the shadow singer to let you go now that you were safely at the table, but it seemed you were wrong. He was still slightly behind you, but one hand remained on your hip, drawing small shapes into the fabric of your dress. As you looked up at him, he wore a proud smirk. Looking down at you with a wink.

You squeaked and looked away quickly. Nesta was also smirking at the two of you. But she leaned in, “I’m glad you came!”

You smiled at your friend, “I’m glad I did too! Has Em showed up yet?” Nesta shakes her head. “Not yet! But the night is young.” She looks between you and Azriel as she waggles her eyebrows at you. Quickly covering your face you whine. Suddenly you feel something wrap around you and bring you closer.

A wing. It was a wing. You peak out from behind your hands to find that Azriel had created a thin winged barrier between you and Nesta. Selfishly pushing you into him in the mean time. Your hands gently lay on his chest. He leans down to whisper to you, ”Isn’t it too early to be whining?”

You wrinkle your nose in confusion. ”Theres a time and place for whining?”

Azriel smirks again- feline in nature. And you curse yourself for finding it so attractive. ”Well for one i’ve barely touched you. Secondly you’re not even under me yet.” Your mind flashed back to that morning. He had been under you…and now? Your eyes widen, and your face grows redder. Mouth opening and closing before you just burry your face in his chest. He chuckles lowly, patting your head.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

As the night progressed you found yourself loosing up a little. Nesta had pulled you, Gwyn and Emerie onto the dance floor, helping you learn to move with the music. Soon enough the three of you got the hang of it. Laughing warmly, singing loudly, and swaying your hips to the beat. Loving the feeling of music beating so loud it feels like a heartbeat. You were starting to understand why Nesta loved it so much.

As the music switched from upbeat pop, into a more sensual rhythm. Nesta showed you how to slow your actions down, but you stopped watching her when she beckoned Cassian over. You stayed with Gwyn and Emerie, the three of you continuing to dance the night away before one by one they got asked to dance with other men. Before you could return to the table, a strong set of hands held your waist.

“May I have this dance?” Azriel’s smooth voice purred into your ear. You gently laid your hands over his, looking up at him and nodding. You watched Nesta for a few seconds, her hips grinding into Cassian’s. And you blew out a breath, leaning further into Azriel. Letting your hips sway with his.

He groaned softly into your ear. Leaning his head into the crook of your neck. Gently kissing your exposed skin. ”You looked so good dancing like that. I couldn’t help myself.” He whispers, his hands squeezing your hips as he helps you grind into him more. ”Now look at you. Not so bashful anymore huh?”

Your cheeks heated and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Arching your back against him. “You’ve been watching?”

His low chuckle vibrates through him- and by extension you causing you to press your thoughts together tighter. “How could I look away?” His hands trail up from your waist to just under your bust, before trailing back down to the end of your dress that had ridden up to mid thigh length. Keeping his hands only on the area’s you were clothed already. But you were desperate to feel his hands on your skin. “Watching you sway your hips? Run your fingers through your hair? You look beautiful-“ He leans back into you, kissing your cheek before whispering. ”It makes me want to ravish you.” Your face heats, biting your lip as you look up at him. “Wh-who says you can’t?” Azriel’s eyes lock onto yours and you watch the shadow singer debate his options. He could continue this little game of cat and mouse. Teasing you and letting you go on and on. Or. He could simply take you back to his place and tease you more there. “We’re in public, princess.” He says evenly. “I couldn’t possibly ravish you here. Not the first time at least.” That gets a small gulp from you but you quickly whisper. “I don’t think our absence would be noticed.” Azriel’s eyes darken and he grips your hips tighter. “You know what this entails, right?” You slowly nod. “I know. And I want it.” Azriel doesn’t say a word, silently bringing you to his house.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

a/n: Writing suggestive pieces, vs like- smutty pieces is so different. 😭 But i hope it turned out all right. Also sorry for it being so short!

#azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #acotar #azriel smut #acotar smut

[alastor-simp]

Special Guest🎙🎵 - Alastor x Singer Reader

Whoosh!~ A cool breeze was blowing, giving you goosebumps. Your body was sitting on the railing of your bedroom porch. Just one more inch and you would tumble down. You were gazing at the sky, admiring the crimson red and the black stared orb. Peaceful moments like this were relaxing to you, despite the mast amount of pollution in the air. Heaving a sigh, you continued to gaze at the stars, humming out a song. That humming eventually turned into lyric, and you sang them outloud to yourself:

🎵If you weren't born with it You can buy a couple ornaments Just be sure to read the warning, kids 'Cause pretty soon you'll be bored of it Sexual, hey girl if you wanna feel sexual You can always call up a professional They stick pins in you like a vegetable

Kids forever, kids forever Baby soft skin turns into leather Don't be dramatic it's only some plastic No one will love you if you're unattractive

Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me Is it true that pain is beauty? Does a new face come with a warranty? Will a pretty face make it better? Oh Mr. Potato Head tell me How did you afford her surgery? Do you swear you'll stay forever Even if her face don't stay together Even if her face don't stay together...🎵

(Song/Lyrics Credit - "Mrs Potato Head" - Melanie Martinez)

As you continued to belt out the lyrics, an ominous shadow appeared behind you, watching you. Soon your song drew to an end. A sound of clapping hands appeared from behind you, making you yelp it fright. Turning your head back, you realized it was Alastor. He was smiling widely like a kid in a candy store. "Bravo, my dear!! What an amazing voice you have!" His feet carried him over to you, standing very close to the railing where you sat. Blushing, you casted your head down: "I'm not that good Al." Hands were placed on your face, pulling it back towards Al. "Don't be harsh on yourself, my dear! That was the best performance I have ever listened to! Why have you been hiding this secret from me?" Alastors hands continued to pinch your cheeks, his crimson eyes gazing at you with excitement. Pushing him back a bit, to leave your cheeks alone, you turned back towards the view. "I always had a fondness for music growing up. It was quite a shock to me when I realized that I could sing. I honestly suspected to sound like nails on a chalkboard when I first tried it out." Chuckling to yourself, you looked back at Al, who was laughing along with you at your explanation. "I imagined later on in my life I would make a career out of it, but I just never got around to doing it."

Alastor continued to gaze at your melancholic expression. He admired how passionate you were about singing. He himself adore music and he could sing as well. It pained him a bit that you never got to pursue your dreams. Leaning his body down, crossing his arms on the railing, he gazed at you, eyes flashing crimson. "Well I must say my dear, I'm already an instant fan! I wouldn't mind you showing off your talent during one of my broadcasts!" Almost falling off the railing in shock, you caught yourself. HE WANTED YOU TO SING DURING HIS RADIO BROADCASTS!!! "Y-you joking right?" Waiting for him to admit that he was joking. He laughed outloud. "Yes Indeedy! The wayward souls in hell would enjoy it very much, including myself!" His words were sincere, no distrust was spewing from his mouth. Twirling your hair with your finger, you looked down. "O-okay, if its alright with you." Alastor jumped back into his normal height, and wrapped his arm around your back, giving you a brief hug. "Excellent my dear! My broadcast starts at 11:00 AM, on the dot! Try to give some thought on what song you wish to perform. See you tomorrow, darling!" He was practically beaming, when he was talking to you. He soon disappeared, melding into a shadow.

It took you a bit to figure out what just happened. Alastor really wanted you to sing at his radio tower. You knew how much he valued his radio broadcasts, so you knew you needed to prepare yourself. Last thing you wanted was ruining the broadcast and upsetting Al. After that interaction with Al, you searched for what song you wanted to sing. Memorizing the lyrics and singing some parts out, making sure your vocal cords could handle it. You went to bed that night, nervous and excited for tomorrow.

**Tomorrow Morning, at 10:50 AM**

Sitting on a chair, you gazed around, taking in every little detail. Both you and Al were inside his radio tower, attached to the hotel. It was a cozy little studio. There was a giant window, looking down at the city. There was a desk and chair adorned with dear horns. A large stag head was mounted on the wall. On top of the large desk, was a set of microphones and buttons. Alastor was pressing a bunch of buttons, making sure everything was set for today's show. It still felt like a dream that you were in this situation right now. Maybe Alastor is a bit of a softie behind that evil radio demon status he holds. Settling down in his chair, he set his microphone cane in front of him, and adjusting yours at the same time. "Its showtime!" he says, smiling like the joker.

"Salutations! Ladies and Gentleman. What a good day to be on the air!" he started his introduction, causing you to smile. "Today's broadcast is a very special one indeed! Today I have a very talented sinner performing for all you people listening in! Allow me to introduce, Y/N!" His hand extended to you, like he was in a play. An applause soundtrack played as well. "U-um Hello everyone!" you stuttered in your speech, mentally cursing yourself for doing so. "HAHAHA! They are a little shy, but don't be fooled. They have a voice so incredible it will knock your socks off! Ready, my dear?" His eyes glanced over to you, making sure you were ok to start. Nodding yes, you took a deep breath, attempting to calm your nerves. Then you started to sing.

(Credit to Annapantsu. Check out her covers. Shes amazing!!!)

🎵Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Breeze driftin' on by You know how I feel

It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling good I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea You know how I feel River running free You know how I feel Blossom on a tree You know how I feel

It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean Sleep in peace when day is done, that's what I mean And this old world is a new world And a bold world For me For me

Stars when you shine You know how I feel Scent of the pine You know how I feel Oh, freedom is mine And I know how I feel

It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life

It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life It's a new life For me

And I'm feeling good I'm feeling good I feel so good I feel so good🎵

During your whole performance, Alastor was staring at you in shock. Your voice was heavenly!!! Not only did you sound spectacular, but you were singing his favorite genre of music, JAZZ!! Oh how delightful!!! Catching him staring at you, you gave a small wink. Radio screech! His heart starting beating out of his chest at your little action. Getting back into singing, you failed to notice the slight pink in his cheeks after you did that. Soon your performance came to end. "I hope you all enjoyed it." You said into the mic. Looking back at Alastor, you noticed he look slightly off. He was staring at you like a deer in headlights literally. Waving your hand in his face managed to alert him. "Heavens! What an amazing performance that was! Encore! Encore!" His radio staff began to play another applause, causing you to blush. "We will be right back! In the meantime, please enjoy this incredible song, Lets Misbehave by Irving Aaronson!" Alastor pressed a button, letting the song play, and also pressed another to mute his and your mic.

He didn't say a word after he did that. Oh no, did you mess up? He didn't appear upset when you were singing. Your thoughts were interrupted when a set of strong hands grabbed you. It took you a moment to realize that Alastor had brought you into a hug, a tight one at that. "Astonishing performance my dear! You did such an amazing job!!" His arms continued to squeeze you, rocking you back in forth in excitement. Giggling at his actions you returned his hug. The hug lasted longer then you suspected, especially knowing Alastors physical contact condition. "Um Al? You can let go now." Jumping at that, Alastor released you. "Y-yes my dear! Apologies! I had gotten overexcited!" You told him it was fine. Straightening his suit and fixing his hair, he looked back at you again. "Given that adorable smile on your face, I take it you are very satisfied as well!"

Smiling you nodded: "I admit I was very nervous in the beginning, but those feelings went away the minute I started singing. Thank you Alastor!" His eyes were tender, looking back at you. One of his hands grabbed yours, giving it a squeeze. "I'm glad my dear! Would you be opposed to becoming a part of my business? I would very much like to have you as partner during my shows! I can also put in a good word for Mimzy to have you perform at her club! What do you think?" His enthusiasm was exploding like fireworks, it was honestly adorable how giddy he was. Not even wasting a second to think, you squeezed his hand back. "Seems like we got a deal, Alastor!"

~END~

Tagging:

@pepperycookie , @yourdoorisunlocked, @ghostdoodlen , @aceofcards0-0 , @jyoongim , @saturnhas82moons , @unholycheesesnack, @luujjvi, @forbidden-sunlight , @pinkcrystal44 , @veethewriter , @rains-sleeping , @danveration , @demoarah , @cookiekyo , @iiotic , @delectableworm , @91062854-ka , @alastorsgoldie

#alastor hazbin hotel #annapantsu #feeling good #michael buble #singer reader #alastor x singer reader #singer #Youtube #music #radio demon #radio demon x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbinhotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #melanie martinez #mrs potato head #viviziepop #amazon series #so its a deal then #fanfiction #hazbin hotel fanfiction #x reader #fluff x reader

[xreaderbooks]

All I breathe (4)

Pair: Azriel x Vanserra Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: language, violence, mentions of abuse, PTSD, death

Summary: The time has come for Y/n to do her duty as court emissary and meet with the High Lord of the Autumn Court. She experiences the effects of what it is to be back at Court and a little bonding time with her brother.

Playlist

Available on Wattpad and AO3

Masterlist - Series Masterlist - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Azriel was gone the moment you awoke. He left no sign of him sleeping on the floor, no sign that he was here at all. You praised the gods for that, you didn’t want to see his stupid arrogant face after all that was said the day prior. You rolled your eyes so hard at the memory it hurt. Fuck him.

You refreshed yourself in the washroom, staring into the mirror, you had to muster up all the courage you could to face your family. You had to be prepared for every and anything they would throw at you. The girl that reflected back on you was weak and afraid. The same girl who you were all those years ago, you were right back where you started. A hell of your own making.

You would change that. The dresses that were put in your wardrobe were new, more mature like they could sense what you have become- what they thought of you now. You supposed you should be grateful they hadn’t had it in their mind that you are how you were before, what would be worse?

Do you make them underestimate you? Have them be blind to what truly lies beneath so they wouldn’t dare think that their poor pathetic little Y/n couldn’t possibly betray them? Or Do you let them suffer and writhe under your newfound power? You were a highly regarded member of the Night Court and they shall treat you as such. The latter was what you needed to portray yourself as if you believed it- so would they, and they would not dare undermine you.

You called upon the handmaidens that were assigned to you when you arrived. An intricate hairstyle was familiar to one you donned as a girl, one you knew your disgusting brothers loved to see you in. Remind them that you did not forget the past and that you have grown. Dark shadowed coal lined your eyes, with a dark rouge on your lips, intense maturity was what you were going for and the handmaidens had done you justice.

Power was what stared back at you in the mirror of your vanity. The dress you wore would show them that you were a part of the Night Court now, not to be fucked with.

Eris was standing at your threshold with a hand behind his back, one hand up, and ready to knock. Your handmaidens who opened the door and were about to leave gasped and curtseyed murmuring their apologies.

He chuckled, “They are frightened so easily.”

You gave him an unamused look, flattening your dress in your lap before standing. You held your chin high, the beginning of your act. You were not her any longer, you were not afraid. “Must you be so… you.”

It was his turn to be unamused, “You used to be fun.”

“I used to want to hide my face from embarrassment every time you opened your mouth.”

He inhaled deeply, “I’ve come to escort you to your meeting.”

“Father’s orders?” You assumed he would want to keep a close eye on you. You dreaded the hours to come, for some reason you hoped would be explained, Beron had requested you sit in on the Court meetings. Meetings that had no time for breakfast.

He ignored you and offered up his arm, you linked yours with his and began to walk in the direction of the room where all the boring officials held their business. Silence greeted you once you stepped through the door, and your heart increased its pace, this was one part of emissary work you could not stand. Boring old meetings full of business you truly did not want to discuss. You wished your work was more exciting, spywork was one you would enjoy if you got to set your own terms.

Alas, Azriel did not trust you and you did not want to report to him any more than you already had to. At least this way you got to spend time with your brother and he could be the mediator between the two of you, bonus was when he handled the boring bits for you. You weren’t much for politics, and didn’t know how to manipulate conversations for the sake of political power so much as manipulating people into telling you information with ease.

It should be an easier job for you considering the means were practically identical. Except, one involved bargaining, tit for tat and the other was just chit-chat.

Your father barely greeted you as you took your seat in the chair you assumed was assigned to you. The meeting went on with Autumn Court business that the Night Court didn’t have anything to concern itself with, at least nothing was spoken of in your presence.

A second meeting was held with some merchants, trading, and such. By the third meeting, you were out of it. Your eyes were blurred with boredom but you held onto every word that could be coded, nothing interesting. To keep yourself awake, you picked at the loose skin around your nail bed, you didn’t even flinch as a pinprick of blood appeared. You sighed as they spoke.

Eris was seated to the right of your father, chiming in at times only to be judged harshly by him. It was your only form of amusement. By the time all the other fae had exited the room, Beron, you, and Eris were left. A servant appeared from a secret door holding a tray of wine and fruit.

“What a shock it was to hear that my only daughter had traded her allegiance to her former husband's enemy?,” Beron swirled his wine thrice before sipping. “You must tell me what it is that allures you to the Court of nightmares.”

The confrontation caught you off guard, you had expected him to dance around the subject of your arrival. Perhaps make a game of it, but he hadn’t bothered to waste his time.

“The company I suppose.”

“Over the company of your own blood?” As if he ever cared about the family of all things.

That’s what this was. The endless hours of meetings with no food, a tactic to exhaust you before he dug his claws in you. Rile you up so that you may slip out unwarranted information. Though the torture was meant for you, your father appeared to be more worn out than you were.

He sighs, pinching his forehead with his thumb and index. “What brings you here, Child?”

“I do not know what you mean, Father.” You imitated his movements, “Perhaps I just wanted to visit the Court I love the most.”

Eris snorted, alerting you both that he was still in the room. Beron eyed him and refocused his attention on you, “You’re not stupid, stop acting like it.”

You held your chin up high, resisting any temptation to lower your head and pick at your nails. The tell of yours was well known in your family, it would too easily give off a signal of your nerves, you couldn’t have that.

“I was sent to assure the safe arrival of my lords spymaster,” You cleared your throat. “Our courts have not always seen eye to eye and as your daughter, I was to be seen as leverage.”

He waited for you to continue, he was the one who asked and yet he didn’t care for a word you said.

“A prisoner of ours has been known to cross your border,” Not the truth but not exactly a lie. That was the best form of manipulation, Beron could suspect all he wanted but he would not know what fully lies beneath if he ever wanted to look into it. “We only need time to investigate, and retrieve said prisoner and we’ll be out of your hair.”

Beron hummed in thought, the only indication he was listening at all. “Very well.”

Eris’ face was pensive, he must not have bought what you were selling but he wasn’t the one who needed to be convinced.

“He will be here in a day once word is sent of your approval.”

“I must know of what importance this prisoner is to your High Lord.” He leaned back in his chair.

You rolled your shoulders back in an attempt to ease the tension that threatened to show, “I’m afraid I am not privy to such information. I’ve told you all that I know.”

You prayed that he would not press, save any further investigation for a later date. Preferably when your stomach was full and you had a conversation with Azriel on how to proceed. Gods knows you don’t need to fuck up this mission, especially because of your deep-rooted issues with your family.

Thankfully your prayers were answered and he had grumbled for you to leave but not before vocalizing his last request, “You will bring me the prisoner once he has been caught.”

The air left your lungs as you gave him a tight nod, turning and exiting the large wooden doors of the meeting room. Eris led you out, staying close behind you. You marched straight for the kitchens which were several levels below where you were now, bursting through the doors, the servants stared in shock as they tried to process what just happened. You ignored them and beelined toward the food that was being plated for what you assumed was for lunch.

You scarfed down the pastry that sat on the plate so prettily before, crumbs on the corners of your lips, you reached for another hoping to eat your worries away.

“Not very ladylike of you,” Eris tugged on a stray hair.

You swatted his hand away and with a full mouth you told him to ‘fuck off’, he wrinkled his nose. You leaned on the wooden table where you acquired your food, he leaned beside you.

“A wonder how you managed to find yourself a husband with those manners, especially one like Tamlin.”

Your throat begged for water when you swallowed the roll of bread that you stuffed fully into your mouth. “Not surprising, you haven’t found yourself a wife with the way you taunt a female for eating when she has been deprived of what gives her body fuel. If you must be near me, be useful and fetch something to drink, will you?”

He gave you an appalled expression yet he left and brought back what you asked for. You chugged it down, wiping with the back of your hand any free droplets of water.

“What in Cauldron's name happened to you?” Eris searched your face as if it will give him any semblance of an answer.

“Do you actually even care?” You asked though you knew he truly didn’t. You were always the same person, you just didn’t hide it anymore. They couldn’t hurt you into submission, they couldn’t groom you to be their perfect little spy anymore. You didn’t have to hide your personality to fit into the standard of females that they thought could get males to spill every detail of their life with a line of seduction.

“Would it be so hard to believe that I do?” He glanced around to see if any servants were listening in. You’ve had enough of him and the rest of your family for the rest of the day, your goal was to stroll around the forest, get a lay of the land.

You simply walked away but apparently, the words exchanged were not enough for him, he grasped your elbow, and you whirled around to face him. You looked at where he held you, he realized his mistake and let go.

“I- I do care for you, sister.” He visibly struggled to get the words out, your eyebrows arched in confusion. He searched around once again for any onlookers before whispering, “I wish to help you.”

“I don’t need any help,” You insisted.

“The meeting with father might have gone well today but I must advise you to keep your wits about you while you are here,” He pressed. “There could be something amiss.”

“What do you know that I don’t?”

“Nothing yet,” He shrugged. “But you know as well as I do that our family is not a merciful one and if you have any ulterior motives, act carefully. He is having you watched though he has nothing to persecute you with.”

You took what he said into consideration, Beron didn’t have any proof that anything was amiss. So far so good, everything was going according to plan and if Eris is being truthful, you gained an ally.

You swallowed your pride and gave him a grateful nod, “Thank you.”

“There is a ball being held tomorrow night,” He called out to you once you were a few feet away. “In your honor, it was meant to be a surprise by the High Lord but I don’t think you’re fond of them.”

You continued down your path without responding and jeered at his attempt to show that he knew you in some way, but you appreciated the heads up. You would have to form a plan.

~~~

The sun had set by the time you came back to your room, you strolled through a nearby town that you used to frequent, bought a bouquet of blue fire lilies, and window-shopped the rest of the day. Despite the drama of being back where all the darkest parts of your childhood were held, you found beauty in the simplicity of life.

You sighed as you entered the room, slipping off the heels and setting the flowers that you had put into a clear vase on your bedside table, you summoned the fae light to brighten your dark room and you were met with a tall dark figure that had walked out of the washroom.

“Cauldron,” You cried out clutching your chest. You saw the familiar glow of the Shadowsingers' blue siphons and your heartbeat decreased its pace after a couple of seconds.

He stood at the threshold of the washroom, his eyes wandering over your body and around the room. You assumed he was sussing out if there were any threats from the sound of your shock.

Once he deemed the room safe, as always he ignored you and went about with whatever post-mission routine he had to unwind. You showered and washed the day off of you, the makeup from earlier was gone and you missed the mask that it gave you.

You settled yourself in your bed, you opted to skip out on dinner, and you ate plenty before returning to the palace so that you didn’t have to endure another meeting with your family. Luckily, Beron hadn’t sent for you the rest of the night, all was clear.

You and Azriel didn’t speak even as he prepared his sleeping set up on the floor. You turned over so that it would be easier to ignore the male on the ground willing sleep to take over.

Nothing had gone as planned, your brothers were waiting for you and you were waiting on your secret lover. This was foolish- sneaking about for little over three months with a boy who was wanted, while still doing your side missions for them. You were bound to get caught and what would you do then? What will he do? He was risking his life just being acquainted with you and yet he was still here. He loved you and you loved him.

You should have set the trap for your brothers to arrest him weeks ago, months ago. He knew, you told him as much, he charmed his way into letting him live and you let him. He was the only one of the men who hadn’t tried to assault you in some way or other. The bar was low but considering the fact that the only love you knew was from your twin and your mother, whenever you were allowed to see her, you craved kindness.

The forest was where he held your dates, a part of the woods that was forbidden for its dangers, after a quick scope of the area done by you and your lover- you had deemed it safe for your secret dates. He was never late to not a single one knowing how risky your rendezvous’ were, and he also never failed to tell you how precious his time with you was.

Five minutes had passed and suddenly you heard shouting in the distance. Anxiety gnawed at you, what if he had been caught? Who caught him? Maybe you could talk your way into gaining his freedom. No, you refused to believe that he was captive.

Every instinct in your body urged you to stay away but you couldn’t, if he was in danger you would go to him. You didn’t have to run far before seeing two of your brothers with their arms locked around him while the third repeatedly punched his face, he was unrecognizable. Bloody snot dripped down his nose, one eye was more swollen than the other though you were sure they would soon be matching.

His mouth sputtered out blood, he was trying to speak, perhaps to warn you to run.

“Stop!” You screamed in horror. “Stop please!”

Suddenly you were trapped in strong arms pulling you away, you fought him- Eris- he attempted to carry you away but you pried his arms away from you and ran towards your brothers. Your throat was raw at how loudly you pleaded with them to leave him alone. They didn’t stop, they beat him to the point of no pulse.

Your heartbeat raced, an overwhelming sensation pounding that rang in your ears. Your brothers released his body, letting it drop with no regard for the corpse that was your love. You fell to your knees next to him, you held onto his misshapen face and our chest heaved as you let out a blood-curdling scream that could be heard throughout the whole Court.

You woke with a start, a gasp that reminded you that you were alive. You were alive and he wasn’t, it had been a century since you lost your love yet it didn’t stop hurting. You felt your heartbeat through your ears, it slowed its pace with every breath that you took. You hadn’t realized the wetness of your cheeks until a sob clawed its way up your throat. The pain from your nightmare- your reality was all too real. In your sitting position on the bed, you pulled your knees to your chest with a hand covering your mouth to halt any noise that threatened to escape.

If only the Shadowsinger hadn’t chosen to block the path to the washroom, you would be able to hide away in there. Unfortunately, if you so much as tiptoed over his body he would be alerted.

As if the mere thought of him raised him from sleep, you heard him shuffle and suddenly half of his torso appeared from the side of the bed. It was too late to toss yourself under your covers and pretend you were sleeping, though you had thought about it. If you laid down now you already knew that the sobs you tried so hard to contain would leave you. You silently begged that he wouldn’t make a cruel comment about your vulnerable state.

To your favor, he didn‘t. He didn’t go back to sleep either, he rose from his spot on the floor and sat with half of his body on the bed. His head moved slightly in a nod, his eyes half-lidded from sleep, he was asking you to scoot over. You frowned at him quizzically but moved over twice to give him space.

Somehow the lack of clothing between the both of you didn’t seem to bother you, he was without a shirt (he must have taken it off after you had fallen asleep) you were sure he had one on every time he’d gone to bed. He wore only his underwear and you had on one of the many silk nightgowns that were hung in the wardrobe. You felt the heat radiating off of his body as you were sure he could feel yours from the closeness.

“What are you doing?” You croaked out, the tightness in your throat making your voice come out with a slight rasp.

“I will not ask you to speak about what happened if you do not wish to,” He licked his lips. “I know what it is to be haunted by memories.”

Part of you wanted to shove him off the bed and scream but you didn’t. You had no fight in you, you were tired and hurt. Your heart ached painfully for the boy who taught you that there was beauty in life, for the boy who knew of the horrors you’ve experienced, had sentenced others to go through- and had loved you. The boy who did not live. A tortured sound came from your lips, your head fell onto your arms that were held up by your knees. Your shoulders shook from the sobs, you didn’t care if he saw you like this anymore, you didn’t care about anything anymore if you were being honest.

You could feel the hesitation off him, you felt the weight upon your shoulders. You looked up at him with wet eyelashes questioning his every move and motive, he simply pulled you closer. Your head lay in the crook of his neck, his hand that you were now suddenly aware was gloveless, held you by your waist.

He held you in this position until dawn broke until the tears ran out and you were a sniffling mess. Just now he had shifted your bodies so that you lay on his muscled bicep, facing him. He hadn’t fallen asleep, staying awake the entire time without a word of complaint on how he didn’t get sleep. He wiped away any stray tears from your cheeks and once he was satisfied dropped his hand. He made sure that it wasn’t touching you more than it already had.

You whispered his name the moment his eyes started to glaze over with sleep, he hummed in response. You faintly traced the scars on the hand that lay between you, “Thank you for being here.”

His thumb grazed the top of your hand. “Sleep, Firewielder. You’re safe now.”

~~~

Next Chapter

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#azriel x reader #azriel acotar x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel acotar #acotar imagines #acotar x reader #lucien vanserra x sister reader #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra x sister reader #autumn court #lady autumn x helion #enemies to lovers #enemies to found family #azrielxreaderbooks #acotar fanfiction #azris #shadow singer x reader #azriel spymaster #all i breathe xreaderbooks

[ellievickstar]

His Second Choice?

A/N: So my first ever fic was Azriel angst…thus, this. I have curated what I consider to be the worst thing of all time, being someone’s second choice, especially if you are their soulmate.

Summary: When then mating bond finally snaps into place, what are you meant to do when you realise your mate has another in his heart, will you break it off to save yourself, or will your mate be able to save this heartbreak?

Request: N/A

Pairing: Azriel x Witch!Reader, Azriel x Elain, Nessian, Feysand.

Warnings: Angst. Tears. Mentions of witchcraft. Elain Slander. Being someone’s second option. (If you are in a similar situation, BREAK IT OFF. He or she is not worth it), Azriel being incredibly stupid. Elain slander. Thanks to @azrielhours for helping me come up with the idea! I also added my own take of the Hanahaki Disease with Azzy. Hope you enjoy, love you babes <3

My Masterlists & Rules

~*~*~*~*~

You walked down the hall, and noticed that there was a slight bounce in your step, smiling as you recalled the reason why. Today was finally the day, after weeks of going on countless missions for Rhys, Azriel could finally have dinner with you as usual, and just in time to. Today you were celebrating finally being able to finish the last book of your series, quite popular now, no doubt thanks to Feyre's connections to a famous publisher, which allowed the series to get the exposure it needed. (A/N: Is this how publishing books work? Someone please educate me)

Thanks to the help of Mor and Nesta's fashionable taste in dresses, they had picked out a wonderful dress. It was a dark navy blue, azriel's favourite colour, which faded into white with golden accents. The sleeves were off the shoulder, lined with flowers sewn and embroidered into the top. You were in absolute awe when you saw it and had tried it on immediately, thankfully it fit you well, and you wished the two females well before heading to bottom of the stairs to the House of Wind, where Azriel agreed to pick you up.

You wondered what he'd think as you fidgeted with the layers of your dress, occasionally summoning spells to pass time. During the first hour, you just played with your magic, bored. During the second hour, you begun to worry that he might have been injured during the mission. During the third, you were ready to summon Rhys

That's when Cassian and Nesta came across you and asked you why you weren't with Azriel and you made a painful realisation.

You had stood there, waiting like a fool. Thinking that maybe, your mate would still care enough to at least show up if he was tired from his mission. Stood there, until Nesta and Cassian came across you, Nesta demanding to know where Azriel was, Cassian puzzled as he claimed Azriel had come home hours before. And that's when you knew he had forgotten. And it hurt.

You shouldn't have been upset. After all, he could have been so tired and just landed in bed immediately, he could have been flooded with paperwork for the mission. Cassian offered to bring you to the House of Wind but y ou waved him off, telling him to enjoy the rest of his night with Nesta and not to worry about you.

You couldn't winnow. But you could do something else. After ensuring that no one could see you, you waved a hand in the air. Drawing precise shapes from memory. A light glowed in your hand, slowly swallowing your arm, then the rest of you. And when you closed your eyes because of how bright it was you felt the atmosphere shift. And with your fingers crossed you opened one eye, then the other, to see yourself standing in the living room of the House of Wind.

Witchcraft.

You had grown up as a witch, travelling across Prythian with your family and friends. That was before Amarantha's rule, before...everything. Before you witnessed you family slaughtered. Before you mustered up so much power you shouldn't even be alive. Before your friends needed to go into hiding. Before everyone thought witches were evil. And it wasn't just you. Bryaxis, was something of an old friend. You were no stranger to the weaver, the bone carver or the suriel. They had all been...friends. And such association with had had cause your kind to be deemed evil.

So you hid your power, you hid your identity. The only people you ever told was the inner circle, save Feyre's two sisters. You weren't comfortable with sharing it with new people, and everyone understood. You had told Nesta vague details, but tears had begun to form in your eyes and she embraced you, telling you that it was alright if you didn't wish to speak of it yet.

The memory made you smile. But once you remembered the situation at hand, it turned into a frown. Reaching out to that mating bond, you grasped it, but there was nothing on the pother side. Though Azriel was your lover, he hadn't experienced the bond for himself yet. You would wait for it to click for him, you didn't want to rush him.

Laughter caught your attention, and the distinct sound of your mate made you freeze as you faced the balcony. There they were. It was clear as day as your mate entered the House of Wind with Elain. Elain. You'd known that they had grown closer, but to leave you with no explanation and spend time with someone else. You blanched.

Azriel's eyes found yours and as they trailed down to your dress, the colour drained from his face. He truly had forgotten. Not for any rhyme or reason but because he was busy with someone else. Your vision began to blur, but you swallowed as you asked him one thing.

"Why?" It was so soft, you couldn't recognise your own voice. But Azriel flinched. You searched for an answer in his eyes but found none as he looked away. You begged him silently for a good reason, a good answer, anything but-

"I guess I just forgot, and she needed me for something important," It was as if he had slapped you. Turning away, tears streamed down your face, and with a wave of your hand a blinding light flashed and you were gone. Azriel left on his knees as he had tried to grab you, to convince you to stay, to let him make up for what he had forgotten, but never once thought about what he had just said, what he had just implied.

~*~*~*~*~

"He didn't!" Mor gasped. You nodded sadly and Nesta huffed as she sat back in her chair. Feyre was quiet as she stirred her tea. You couldn't imagine how they both felt. On one hand, Elain was their sister, but to even attempt on a man who already had a lover was beyond both of them. Feyre shook her head, in disbelief and disappointment. She exchanged looks with Nesta and cleared her throat.

"Perhaps, we sheltered Elain all her life, but it is no excuse for what she is doing, whether she realises it or not. I will speak to her about the issue at hand, but don't worry, I won't tell her about the bond," You smiled gratefully at the high lady and she excused herself to go to the bathroom. You couldn't help but be envious of the relationship she had. Though you would never want to date the High Lord, you wished that Azriel would care for you as much as Rhys did Feyre.

Sighing, you set your cup down, ready to leave for a meeting with Bryaxus - who was more than overjoyed when you begun to regularly visit him - and then you felt it, it was like your heart was being ripped out of you as you gasped, heaving, coughing. Mor sat up, alarmed, and Nesta moved to hold your back, soothing you. You hacked and watched in horror as blood and what looked like the petals of a flower came spewing out of your mouth.

You knew this disease.

You knew what it would do.

You knew what needed to be done.

"Get Madja," You coughed out to Mor, "Now! I need her now!" Raising your voice, you began to cough up more petals and more blood. Mor instantly winnowed out and was back within a few minutes, Madja hot on her heels as she rushed towards you. Your mind spun as you processed everything. Not this, anything but this, please.

After your coughing fit that scared the wits out of Mor and Nesta, you explained the disease to them. Madja nodded at your every word as she inspected the kind of flowers that you had coughed up.

Red Tulips. Soulmates.

Marigolds. Hurt.

Daffodils. Unrequited Love.

You cursed under your breath. Feyre had just returned and was quickly filled in on the situation. She paled as she took in the flowers, their meanings. Hours of listening to what Elain said flowers represented and now Feyre wish she had forgotten all of it. You started heaving again and Madja made you lean forward as you coughed up more petals into a paper bag.

Unbridled pain roared through the veins of your body as it began to come in paves. Whimpering, you brought your knees to your chest, but the coughing didn't stop. You were in near tears. How could you let this happen? Years of hearing about this disease and you were now victim to it. You couldn't help that your mate was in love with another, but why was this so much worse than the stories? You had seen the events of the disease transpire and it was no where near as bad-

"It's because you and Azriel are mates. In other cases, this only happens between two lovers...never mates. Mates usually have an instant connection, so it's very rare for one half to love another person entirely," Feyre explained. Nesta muttered something about how Tamlin should have gotten this cursed disease, but Feyre then explained that there was a difference between 'love' and 'obsession'. This couldn't be happening. You groaned into your palms, maybe you should go to the bathroom, lest the next thing you know you can't move.

Standing up, you took one step, then another, your vision bagan to tunnel, and you turned back to the sofa. You had to at least get back to a lying down position, but before you could, darkness hugged you like a warm, welcoming blanket.

~*~*~*~*~

Mor yelped as she rushed to keep Y/N from falling. Feyre immediately reaching out to Rhys to get everyone to go to the House of Wind immediately. It was an emergency. Rhys was there with Lucien in a heartbeat. For a second, Mor wondered where Azriel was, when booming beats of wings could be heard. Cassian rushing in, letting out a sigh of relief as he spied that Nesta was safe, Azriel with Elain in his arms entering soon after as he set her down.

Feyre, Mor and Nesta all scowled at the Shadow singer, assuming that it was because of Y/N he nodded at them apologetically. Which in turn made them all exchange enraged looks, Feyre making a mental note to tell Rhys to cut Azriel's hefty salary by at least half. Still a sizeable portion, but maybe he's start thinking about the consequences to his actions.

"We're here because of Y/N," Mor started and Elain scoffed. Feyre and Nesta were taken aback by the rude behaviour. Having enough of so many problems, Nesta spoke up. "Is there a problem, Elain?" Elain rolled her eyes and picked at her nails.

"Y/N is just jealous that Azriel decided that he didn't want to be with her anymore. Besides, there are so many other males for her, why those she have to target Azriel?" Nesta gritted her teeth, ready to yell at her ignorant sister, but decided against it as Mor began to speak.

"Y/N has contracted something called Hanahaki Disease, a disease cause my unrequited love towards another," This made Elain snort, but Mor continued, ignoring her, "Usually there would be time to try several cures, but in this case, it's..." More trailed off, unable to find the words, unable to utter the thing that would confirm her own fears. Feyre continued for her.

"She's dying. Fast. Madja says we have a day at best, hours at worse," The words were almost unheard, Cassian stared at Nesta, the devastation on her face, he glanced to Azriel, the bastard's face remained impassive, but as he reached to his mind, absolute chaos. Pain. Suffering.

Azriel felt paralysed when he heard the words. He might never be able to make up for the mistake he made. The hurt he caused his lover. But, something made him stop.

"You said usually, there would be more time. What's the difference in this case?" The question made Feyre pause. She glanced at her sister and friend but they both looked unsure. Should they tell him? They had sworn not to tell anyone but in a situation like this...

"You are her mate," Nesta softly muttered. So soft, that if it wasn't for everyone's Fae hearing, they would have passed it off as the wind. Elain gasped ion anger, and Azriel fell to his knees. No. It can't be. He mustn't have heard it right. His mate? But as he reached into his soul, he grasped the at the foreign golden thread that was foreign to him all this time, and tugged it hard. Images flooded his mind and he begun to weep.

The shadow singer, hardened by years of battle, war, and torture, begun to weep as he saw an invisible golden thread reach out, and go through the door where his mate probably was. And for the first time in centuries, he understood her. He saw her pain, her memories, her thoughts.

Horrified, he witnessed himself saying those words to her. Telling her that Elain was more important, telling her that another female was more important than his mate. He wanted to know when she found out about the bond, wanted to demand why she never told him, but now wasn't the time. He needed to get to her.

Faster then anyone could stop him, he got to his feet and ran. Tearing through the door and stopped as he saw her. She was so pale, sweat beaded down her forehead as her breaths were laboured. She wasn't even conscious. Shadows sang as they danced around her figure. Not right. Dying. Sick. Disease.

He felt himself being pulled back by Cassian, asking him to calm down, asking him to listen, but he couldn't. He was panicked. He couldn't leave her, not again, he needed her. He couldn't lose her after just finding out. It took both Rhys and Cassian to haul Azriel away, he screamed after his mate, screamed as he prayed, he didn't know to who, but if there was any slight chance that they'd let her wake up, if there was at least one good thing he'd done in all his existence that allowed him this one good thing, he'd bargain with the Gods for a chance to live the rest of his life with his mate. Would bargain away his own life.

He didn't know how long it was until Madja came out with a solemn look. He didn't know how long it was he stood there when she uttered those defining words. "She might not make it," Before she dragged him to the side.

"What is your relationship with Y/N?" She demanded. Azriel's head spun as he tried to recall what happened. "I...it's complicated," Madja paused at seeing the shadow singer falter after 500 years of walking through life without a care in the world. However, the answer he was giving was not going to help her save Y/N.

"Define it shadow singer! Give me details! Let me know what was happening that she became so ill!" She snapped. Azriel flinched. He knew she had every right to be annoyed at him. He was the cause of the illness and he couldn't even think straight, couldn’t even try to save her.

“I hurt her. I hurt her and I shouldn’t have, I stood her up, and then told her another female was more important. I grew distant. And now she’s suffering. Because of me,” He swallowed and Madja nodded. He ran his hand through his hair. Panic danced in his eyes and Madja sighed. This was complicated, never in all her year did she need to treat such a complicated case, even when Illyrians were on the brink of losing their wings. Even when she had to treat battle wounds that would leave the faint hearted in shambles.

She shook her head, turning to leave, voicing only one instruction as she walked out, “Break off whatever relationship you have with that Archeron Sister, and pray that you’re mate will wake,” He nodded and Madja left the shadow singer feeling empty, feeling as if he had nothing left in the world.

~*~*~*~*~

His foot steps felt heavy as he walked to the living room of the House of Wind. He couldn't believe this. All his life, he'd dreamed of meeting his mate. He'd dreamed of living out his life together with her, and now he might not even get to right the wrongs he had made. He might not even get to tell her that he was sorry for hurting her.

"So? What do we need to do?" Mor demanded as he came into view of the rest. He sighed as looked down at his scarred palms, ones who had done harm to thousands and he hadn't regretted it, not once. Until now. His own mate. Maybe karma really did exist. Maybe he shouldn't have been so cruel to so many people.

"I...I have to break up with Elain or she dies tonight," He said shakily. Everyone stared at him. Elain rolled her eyes once more. “What a drama queen. She’s such an attention seeker, right guys?” She looked around but no one seemed to agree. Her eyes seemed to flicker between surprise and resentment. “You guys are stupid, she’s not dying she’s just faking it,” She tried to say but Cassian brought a hand up, stopping her.

“You, dumb brat. You’re sisters have shielded you all their lives and the one time you have an opportunity that you aren’t just an empty headed child, you blow it!” Nesta tried to calm him down but everyone could tell that a part of her agreed with what her mate was saying. Rhysand then chimed in, “A member of my court, one of my closest friends, is dying. And you have the audacity, the gall, to say that she is attention seeking? I don’t care that you are my mate’s sister, but that disrespect will not be tolerated in my court, even so, my mate would agree with me. You have been born and raised sheltered and shielded from a broken world and instead of being thankful, instead of feeling an ounce of appreciation towards the female who saved your damn life, you ruined hers.” Feyre nodded, and as Elain looked around, she realised that no one was siding with her, not even Lucien.

She huffed, enraged by the outcome of this, before strutting out of the house of Wind. Nesta felt disheartened, she had been so protective of Elain that she had now turned into this uncaring monster, it made her feel like she had failed. Her emotions were echoed down the bond and Cassian turned towards her and hugged her, pressing her against him gently. The scene made Azriel feel alone, and so guilty. He could have had that, if he had just opened his damn eyes, if he hadn’t hurt her the way he did.

But now, he didn’t even know if his mate was going to make the end of the day. And he prayed to whatever god there was out there, that he’d get one more shot to make things right.

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Should I make part 2???? Idk T^T Hope you enjoyed <3

PART 2 IS OUT

@aroseinvelaris

If you wanna be tagged: Just ask and remember to specify if you wanna be tagged in just part 2 of this fic, all Azriel fics, any specific character fics/series, or just all my fics in certain fandoms. <3

#Azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x elain #azriel acomaf #azriel imagine #azriel acotar #azriel #angst #Cassian acotar #acotar character x reader #Acotar #rhysand acotar #lucien acotar #acotar fanart #azriel shadow singer x reader angst #Azriel x reader angst

[florencemtrash]

The Ballad of the Shadowsinger

Azriel x Reader Oneshot

“Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.” The Shadowsinger said, “Because I’m waiting to die.”

Warnings: ANGST with a happy ending, mentions of attempted SA and suicidal ideation (they're very brief, but please do read with caution)

Author's note: I finished this at 3am last night and I think it's pretty apparent... buuuuuut I'm going to post it anyway. Enjoy...

The Shadowsinger arrived one winter night, curling into existence on the border of town like cream through coffee. Jadhan was only a boy at the time - painfully human with a broken leg that had never healed properly. The Midlands were a terrible place for a child to grow up - a place where the only thing more unstable than the ground was its sense of safety.

But things changed when the Shadowsinger arrived, bringing with him gold and the brutal violence required to scare off the bandits and murders that slipped in from the nearby Lordship. And when the Lord came for the Shadowsinger’s head, it was the fae male was the one who walked away from the fight. Except it wasn’t a fight. It was a slaughter.

Jadhan was thirty-seven now with three young boys that had come in a cluster, forcing their way into the world one after another. Sasha had never been quite pleased with him for that, but her love for her sons and her husband outweighed the pain and hardship in the end. 

The boys - Mikhail, Alzhar, and Zhik - ran around the tavern, ducking beneath tables and barstools while their height still allowed it. The Shadowsinger watched them with the faintest of smiles as they clambered about, begging for more attention from his shadows. 

There was little known about the Shadowsinger this deep into the Continent, but whispers still passed through the mouths of travelers at the inn. The most common piece of gossip was that he was a Prythian outlaw - banished to the Continent after attempting to kill his Lord. Jadhan didn’t know - and he figured he would never find out. 

The Shadowsinger was so quiet that no one even knew his real name. They all called him Shadowsinger - Shadow for short. He disappeared into the woods at night and stalked into town come morning, but give a shout at any time and he would be there, flying overhead like a black stormcloud. 

“On the house, Shadow.” Jadhan said, dropping the glass onto the sticky counter. Whisky neat, two fingers - just the way he liked it. 

The Shadowsinger picked it up, swirling the amber liquid around like he hoped it would start talking to him, “You say that every night.”

“That’s because a free drink is the least I could get you.” Jadhan tipped his head towards the rickety stage where the local songbirds were setting up. The singer, Phaedra, had her eyes on Shadow, sending love and gratitude his way like a flood, “Phaedra’s been telling everyone what you did for her. You know, with the Morois boy.” 

Shadow grimaced, taking his first sip. He grimaced again. The whiskey was home-brewed and tasted like it. Everyone in town said a shot of the stuff could kill a man, but Shadow was hardly a man, and more shadow than fae.

Lev Morois had had his eyes on Phaedra for a while now. And he didn’t like to be denied anything, especially women. Normally he traveled to the Lordship for his fill, and he would have been better off going there last night. Instead he’d forced his way into Phaedra’s home… and Shadow had made sure he’d never be able to hurt a woman like that ever again. 

“How old are your boys now, Jadhan?” His voice was deep and smoky.

The trio neared closer, as if they knew they’d been summoned. The eldest, Mikhail, nearly crashed into the countertop, forgetting he had to bend down now. A tendril of black shadow shot out, muffling the blow and corralling him back out onto the open dancefloor with the rest of the children. 

Jadhan sighed and rubbed at a burned spot on the counter, “Too old, and growing faster than weeds.” 

It was a sweet pain for Azriel to see the three brothers romping around. It was almost winter and soon enough they’d be wrestling in the frosted fields, shoving snow down each other’s shirts, and hurling it at each other's heads. 

When was the last time he’d seen his brothers? Cassian had stopped by twenty-five years ago, shocked and scared to see Azriel looking so wretched. The next time Azriel’s shadows had warned him, and they’d sent Cassian away.

Rhysand was a different story… he’d never forgiven Azriel for what he’d done - and rightfully so - but that didn’t make the pain any easier to swallow. That didn’t make Azriel miss them any less.

He tossed the rest back and, to Jadhan’s surprise, he let the barkeep refill it.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Phaedra’s voice crooned over the crowd, settling over drunk men and women like a warm blanket until it was time for their sober partners to drag them home. Those who were alone either settled into the hard booths for a nap or resigned themselves to a stumble home in the dark. They’d all make it to their beds in the end - The Shadowsinger would see to that.

He dropped a gold coin onto the counter - triple what the night’s libations actually cost. It was the briefest of stumbles that had Jadhan gripping onto the male’s shoulder and forcing him back into his seat. 

Azriel wasn’t drunk. It would take an ocean of human liquor to get a fae drunk and then some. But he was starting to feel something.

“I got a pinch of ambrose from a merchant passing through.” Shadow’s eyes snapped up to Jadhan, who only raised his hands in surrender, “Hey, hey, hey, I know you don’t drink my whiskey for the taste, so I thought I'd put something in there to remind you of home. Something to loosen you up like liquor is supposed to.” 

The Shadowsinger winced at that word: Home.

“Very well.” He said.

The boys had gone home with Sasha hours ago, and without them running about with their usual compatriots, the tavern seemed dull. Now was no longer the time for dancing and riotous laughter. Now was the time for the sad drunks and those who didn’t want to go home.

But Azriel wasn’t drunk and he desperately wanted to go home.

It was the shame that kept him rooted to the stool like a stubborn weed… that and Rhysand’s promise that if he ever laid eyes on Azriel again, he’d rip the wings off his back. 

Jadhan seemed to understand that about him, leaning over the counter on sturdy arms thick as tree trunks. His leg was still lame, always had been and always would be, but that had never held him back much.

“What’re you doing here, Shadow?”

His hazel eyes flickered up. 

“What’s it been? Twenty-five years you’ve been in town now?”

“Thirty. Exactly.” 

So that was why the Shadowsinger had drank so much that night. It was to commemorate the sad, terrible anniversary of his banishment to the Midlands.

“Don't you think that's long enough? I don’t mean any offense, but don't you have anywhere else to go? Friends? Family?”

The male gritted his teeth and Jadhan had the sinking feeling he'd just poked the bear.

“I thought I was wanted here.” 

“Of course you are. Hell, we’d all be dead or piss poor if it weren’t for you.” Jadhan shook his head, “I don’t know what you’re running from - if you’re a thief, a murderer, a treasonous bastard or all of the above-” 

Shadow flinched, actually flinched, and Jadhan knew it was all of the above.

“But whatever it is,” He continued, “I think you’ve made up for it.” 

Azriel stilled, shadows continuing to swirl around the wet, empty glass in front of him.

How he wished those words were true, but only a human would think thirty years was a long time. They were nothing if not optimistic.

“No. I haven’t.” Shadow said flatly. Silence stretched between them, thick and heavy, until Jadhan finally sighed and went to clear the glass.

“I had a mate.” He whispered the words so quietly, Jadhan almost didn’t hear him. 

His thick eyebrows disappeared into his receding hairline. He didn’t know much about fae customs and the ones he did know about were often violent, strange, or both… usually both. But he had a great deal of respect for mating bonds and understood they were prized above all else to fae.

“Had?” 

Shadow’s lips flattened into a thin line and Jadhan could have sworn his eyes began to brim with years. 

The Shadowsinger nodded stiffly.

“Dead?”

Shadow gritted his teeth and nodded once more, wings drooping low enough to brush against the sawdust packed floor.

Jadhan sighed so deeply he seemed to shrink into himself, and Azriel was once again struck by how quickly humans aged.

Silver streaks were already beginning to color his temples and his leg was getting stiffer and stiffer each day. It wouldn't be long until he was forced to swallow his pride and buy a cane like Sasha had been suggesting.

It seemed like just yesterday Jadhan had limped his way into the woods, calling out for the Shadowsinger with a copper coin clenched in his fist and a bargain to make. 

Kill my father, and I will do anything you ask of me. Anything at all.

There had been such determination in the little boy’s body that Azriel hadn’t hesitated to fold his small fingers back over the coin and then do what he had been told… to do what he’d always been told to do. 

“I’m sorry, Shadow.” He shook his graying hair, “I’m so sorry.” 

Azriel grimaced, fists tightening until they turned pale, “Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t you dare.”

He frowned, “And why not?”

The Shadowsinger stilled and got quiet again, “Because it was my fault. I killed her.” 

Jadhan, for all his mortal naivete, didn’t look surprised at his answer. He only twisted his mouth to the side in thought before asking once again, "Why are you here, Shadow? Why don't you leave?"

Azriel looked at him, hazel eyes filled with despair.

He would never tell Jadhan this, but he’d always been envious of humans for one thing - they could die of old age. They could be killed easily. So easily that all it would take was one flick of Azriel's wrist and Jadhan would be no more.

Fae were not so easy to kill, and their only end was a violent one. Maybe that was why Rhys had banished him to the middle of the Continent where life was harsh but simple, and fae were nowhere to be found.

No one here was strong enough to kill him. Azriel would know - he’d spent the first five years on the Continent searching for a way to die and getting into so many bloodbaths it had lost its luster.

“Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.” The Shadowsinger said, “Because I’m waiting to die.” 

___

There were many reasons Azriel built his house in the woods. Firstly, he liked the privacy Secondly, when the nightmares came, there was no telling the damage he could do. 

Tonight’s dreams were especially violent and cruel to him. 

Elain appeared before him, sweet and delicate as a dove and despite knowing better, he couldn’t help but follow her into the darkness like a fly to a carnivorous flower. It wasn’t her fault - he should have known better than to drag them both into this mess. She’d been reckless, hungry for some semblance of control in this new and strange world, and he had been all too willing to play the role of the selfless knight. 

When she kissed him it felt wrong, but like every other night, he was too powerless to push away. This was how it had happened, and there was no changing that.

She whispered against his lips, “Thank you for coming for me.” 

Azriel’s stomach twisted, because two people had gone on the mission into Beron’s lair, and two people had come out. Azriel had wrapped his arms around Elain’s silky body after saving her, and left you behind.

He followed Elain further, chasing her shimmering pink skirts onto the Autumn Court battlefield where she dove into the grasses and disappeared. 

This was where it truly went wrong. 

He caught sight of you on the hill, blood blooming like roses from where the ash arrows pierced your flesh. Your wings were gone and you leaned too far backward, still feeling their phantom weight against your back. That was what it had taken to bring you down. That was what it had taken for Beron to break you.

It was like a bolt of lightning running through his body when the bond snapped into place. Your bruised eyes shot open and you fought against the chains, horror freezing your heart. 

Azriel would know, because he felt it all.

“AZ! NO!” 

Beron’s ax caught the light as it came down on your neck and this wonderful thing he’d dreamt about for over five hundred years was snatched away from him. 

Azriel shot up in bed, skin slick and suffocating under the blankets. He kicked them off his body, taking big, desperate gulps of air as his stomach and shadows settled down. 

He rubbed his chest, feeling that hollow space where the bond used to be. 

He’d had you for less than a minute… he should have had an eternity with you. You should have had an eternity with all of them. 

On the day you died, Rhys and Cassian had also lost a sister. Feyre and Nesta had lost a best friend. Cassian may have been quick to forgive him, but Rhys could never. He’d already lost one sister. Nothing could have prepared him to lose you too. 

Shadows swarmed around him and he already knew his powers had wrecked the roof once again. Moonlight streamed through the newly made hole in the ceiling, pooling around his shaking form. He imagined it was the Mother staring down at him with her unblinking eye. Disappointed. Angry. 

The mating bond had been utterly wasted on him. 

“I’m-I’m sorry, Y/n.” He gasped out, trembling. He wrapped his wings around his shaking shoulders, as if that would be enough to shield him from what he’d done. 

Once again he was that little boy trapped in the cellar. Abandoned. Unloved. Alone. But this time he deserved it.  

“Please. Please.” He begged. He begged for the madness to take him. He begged for an end to his eternal life. 

“I want to come home.” He sobbed. “Please. I want to come home.”

You stood before him at the foot of the bed - a vision that had arrived three days after coming to the Midlands and never left. You looked at him sadly, your white dress hanging still despite the breeze that flowed through the room. But you didn’t say a word. You didn’t say anything at all. 

___

Jadhan was fifty-five now. The Shadowsinger still came to the tavern every night, drank his whiskey on the house, and left once the songs were over. 

Mikhail had left at eighteen, chasing after opportunities on the edge of the Continent. Zhik had died the year before - the youngest and the weakest of the trio. Not even the Shadowsinger could fight the cold that came for him in the Winter and stole him away before Spring. 

Now it was Alzhar and Jadhan that ran the tavern. Alzhar who poured the Shadowsinger his drinks.

“On the house.” He said, sliding the glass along the countertop. Whiskey. Two fingers. Just how the Shadowsinger liked it. 

“Thanks, Alzhar.” He raised the glass in the air before tossing it back in one shot, grimacing. Either he was getting older, or the whiskey had gotten worse. 

Snow flurried past the windows, more rain than anything else. 

“Happy Solstice day.” The Shadowsinger said with the faintest of smiles. 

“Happy Solstice day.” 

It was no grand holiday in the Midlands, and it certainly could never hold a candle to the festivities that were going on in Velaris, but still, Azriel would take whatever comfort he could get. 

Phaedra had quietly retired from singing, opting to strum along with her guitar in the background. But her daughter led the band now, a vibrant star in the midst of these quiet lands with a smoky voice that was only rivaled by her mother. 

“Happy Solstice day, everyone!” The tavern-goers cheered and a new generation of children shrieked from their spots closest to the stage. “Now I know it’s not looking too great outside, but we all know what dear old, Phaedra says.” 

“Are you calling me old, Miss Devra?” Phaedra hollered, red painted lips turned down in a frown. 

“I’m calling you a dear, Mama. You’re still as young as a rosebud in April.”

“That’s right!” Alzhar whooped. Phaedra winked and blew her future son-in-law a kiss.

Devra’s smile was positively radiant, “Alright, alright well whatever. She says daisies look brightest when they’re down in the shits, but that’s not really the most appetizing turn of phrase now is it?” 

Everyone erupted in a mixture of laughter and cheer.

“Come on now, Dev.” Alzhar called out, “You’ve kept us waiting long enough. Sing!”

She rolled her eyes playfully, “Well since you asked so kindly,” She cleared her throat and began to croon,

“When my mama first warned me you’ve got trouble on your tail, I told her foxes are quick runners and my heart ain’t just for sale. I won’t be wooed by sweet flowers or sugar tea on ice, I just want someone who’ll love me and who’ll never think twice. I’ve-”

The tavern door burst open, letting in a howling blast of night-chilled air tinged with rain and frost. Everyone cringed back except Shadow, clutching at their thick coats and gasping at the sight of the being that came in from the darkness.

The female was anything but cold with her shining, warm eyes and radiant skin. She glowed like she'd been brushed with an otherworldly glimmer. She was sunlight shooting through crystal. 

Dev stopped singing immediately, her hands slipping from the worn out strings with a strangled thrum.

The Shadowsinger stumbled, actually stumbled, to his feet, and the world seemed to fall silent.

Shadows shot out towards her, curling around her legs and licking the hem of her midnight blue coat. She was the moonlit darkness given form, delicate and fierce at the same time. 

“Azriel.” She breathed out, finally giving a name to the nameless fae. “Azriel.” She repeated, still in disbelief.

The Shadowsinger - Azriel - walked forward without a sound, his scarred hands shaking at his sides.

She looked ready to throw her arms around him. Whether it was to embrace him or strangle him was yet to be seen.

Before she could make a move or say anything further, he dropped to his knees, head bowed and trembling. He swallowed thickly, keeping his eyes trained on the floor between her feet like he was scared to even look at her straight on.

If he had been looking at her, he would have seen the horrified shock that parted her lips and widened her eyes.

He pulled out that sleek obsidian blade he carried with him everywhere. The knife seemed to hum, the silent sound reverberating through the room and causing the air above it to warp.

Everyone knew that that knife was as much a part of him as his wings. But he held it out to her now like an offering, wings stretching open so that everyone could see the orange glow of the fire through the thin membrane, and the tendons that flowed through them like rivers.

Alzhar looked to his father in confusion. Was this some fae custom he wasn't aware of? Should they all be bowing to her? Perhaps she was their queen.

But his father only let out a slow breath, shoulders sinking down.

The Shadowsinger was the picture of reverent misery, and he would let her take whatever she wanted for her revenge.

His wings.

His life.

Anything...

Because I’m waiting for my mate to call me home.

That was what the Shadowsinger had revealed to him years ago, and Jadhan had never forgotten it. 

Because I’m waiting to die.

Her beautiful face crumpled, then turned resolute. She ignored the blade, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and hauling him up to his feet. Azriel’s eyes blew open in surprise.

“You bastard. You absolute bastard.” She said, her silky voice shaking, “I’ve been looking for you for years.” 

“Y/n,” Azriel whispered reverently, “I-” 

She slammed her lips against his, swallowing whatever desperate apology had been about to escape his mouth.

The Shadowsinger froze, then slowly melted into her touch, wrapping his arms around her waist so tightly it was a miracle her ribs didn’t snap. Shadows swirled around the pair in a perfect mixture of light and dark - like moonlight bleeding through winter clouds. 

No one in the tavern could stand to look away. They were absolutely transfixed. Some great power was moving in the world and they could feel it. Magic or not, it demanded to be felt.

When the two fae finally pulled away from each other, gasping for breath, something in the earth seemed to crack open and shake the ground, releasing pressure that had been building for hundreds and hundreds of years. 

Tears slipped out of her eyes, salty and not entirely unwelcome. 

“Oh, Az.” She whispered, cradling his face with one hand and clutching her chest with the other. The Shadowsinger was weeping now, curling into her like a vine seeking sunlight, “How could I have forgotten this?”

He buried his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of elderflower and mountain pine like a man starved. His shadows grew around him, thick and powerful. And before anyone could even let out a strangled gasp, they disappeared with a whisper of smoke and shadow.

You reappeared in darkness, holding Azriel’s shaking body against you like an anchor to a ship. 

“I’m here, Az. I’m here.” You gently shushed him, tangling your fingers through his hair.

You scanned the room finding nothing but a rickety bed and a dresser in the corner by way of furniture, and a small pile of firewood against the wall.

Moonlight streamed in through the roof and you held out a hand, latching onto the rays and weaving them together so tightly they filled the room with a silver glow. 

“Az.” You whispered, all your attention turned back on him, on your mate. "Az." You gently shook him, pressing fervent kisses to his temple until he finally lifted his eyes.

Azriel looked exhausted, purple bruises shading the hollows beneath his gorgeous eyes. 

“How-” Azriel gasped, “How is this-” 

“Bryaxis brought my body to the Cauldron.” You finished, equally out of breath, “It took him years to put me back together but… he did it. He did it, Az.” 

Azriel closed his eyes, sinking to his knees. This time you let him fall. And you fell with him, climbing into his lap so he could bury his face in your wind-swept hair. 

Home.

You smelled like home to him.

“Promise me." He begged, "Promise me you’re real, Y/n. Please, promise me. I’ll-I'll do anything." He could feel you on the other end of the bond, your heart pulsing and alive. But… he didn’t know if he'd be able to survive if he woke in the morning to find that this was all some terribly perfect dream.

“I’m here, Az. I’m here.” You replied thickly, “I’m here and I’m whole.” You tugged off your coat, throwing it somewhere behind you, and pulled down the neck of your sweater. A thick line of scar tissue wrapped around your throat, one of the many physical reminders of the horrors Beron had put you through. 

Azriel stilled, one hand daring to trace the pale flesh with a feather-light touch. “I… I did this.” 

“No...No.” You whispered, brushing away the moisture that had collected on his cheeks, “You didn’t do this, Az.”

“I left you behind.” His voice broke. “I took Elain and I left you behind. Y/n, I’m so sorry. Please, I’m so sorry.” 

You flinched and closed your eyes. It was one of your worst memories to date - the sight of Azriel’s broken face as the first ash arrow caught you in the back and brought you to the ground. The second was what had done you in, piercing through the membrane of your wings and digging into the ground, pinning you there.

Azriel had only gripped Elain’s golden form closer to his body. He could only fly one of you out, and in that moment he had made his choice and leapt into the sky. 

Azriel felt your emotion through the bond and desperation flooded his system once again. 

He couldn’t lose you. Not again. Not like this. Not when he had so much to make up for. 

“I know what I did, Y/n. I know it was unforgivable, but I swear to you I will do anything you ask. Whatever it takes. If you’ll just give me a chance, I- ”

“Shhhhhhh.” You shook your head, pressing your finger to his lips and silencing him. “I forgive you, Az.” You said, cupping his face.

He immediately leaned into your touch, craving the feeling of your soft skin against his.

“I don’t-I don't want to think about that anymore. Trust me, I’ve spent the last half a century agonizing over it.” You said, smiling without humor.

His hands rubbed up and down your back, tracing the ruined remnants of your wings and silently begging you to explain.

You hesitated, collecting your words and speaking them carefully, “I would have come sooner but… I was so scared and confused about everything. My body didn’t feel like mine anymore without my wings with-'' Your hand flew up to your throat on instinct. 

Azriel gently pulled your fingers away, kissing the pads of your fingertips all the way to your palm, and then your wrist. His lips brushed against the pulsing vein as soft as a feather. It was such a small point of contact, but it grounded you to reality.

 “I couldn’t remember anything. It was like… like I was starting from scratch. Building my life from the ground up.”

Azriel repeated the gesture with your other hand, soft lips skimming over your skin until you shivered, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He whispered softly, “I should have been there.” 

“You didn’t know.”

“I should have known.” 

You looked at him for a long time, drinking in the sight of him and refamiliarizing yourself with his face. He did the same with you.

He looked tired and thinner than you remembered, the elegant planes of his face now harsh and sharp. But buried beneath all those years of loneliness, he was still there - your Azriel. The male who never did anything in half-measures. The male who couldn’t help but make some of the most impulsive decisions you’d ever seen in your life, and also some of the most careful. 

Gods, you’d missed him.

You'd missed talking to him and laughing with him. You'd missed the simple joy of being in his presence and the way that the world seemed to fall with hush whenever he entered a room.

“I came for you as soon as I remembered.” You brushed a strand of inky black hair from his forehead, and then flicked him. Hard. “But you just had to go and disappear on the Continent without a trace.” 

That wasn’t completely true. He’d left bloody, brutal footprints for a while, but those had dried up too quickly. 

The smile Azriel gave was weak and dull, but it was a start, “I’m sorry I kept you waiting, Y/n.” 

“That’s alright." You murmured against his lips before kissing him, "You can make it up to me.” 

Azriel’s heart leapt in his chest, and the bond responded in kind, singing louder than a choir of a thousand songbirds. Even after all this time, even after everything, the Shadowsinger hoped. 

“Y/n-” That light began to dim, hateful voices whispering in his ear that he was unworthy of you, that he would destroy this chance at happiness just as swiftly as he’d done the first time, that he would ruin it all, “I don’t deserve-”

“Stop it, Az.” Your words were soft but commanding, “I don’t care about what you think you deserve or don’t deserve. I want you. I want my best friend back. I want you back.” You wiped the tears from your cheeks, “I want you back in Velaris, and if it turns out I’m still pissed at you for everything, we’ll figure it out, ok?” 

You took a shaky breath and Azriel looked up at you in awe. He gathered you in his arms and captured your lips in a softer, more gentle kiss. A kiss that said, I’m tired. I’m so so tired and for the first time in my life I’m going to force the voices that tell me terrible things to be silent.

And it worked for a spell, but Azriel was pulling away again, looking guilty. 

“Rhys-”

“I’ve already handled Rhys.” 

His brow arched up every so slightly. Your guilty eyes flitted to the side.

You loved Rhys like a brother, and you fought with him like siblings do. That was why the last thing you'd done before leaving Velaris was force him to lift the banishment... and then you'd punched him in the face.

“I wasn’t exactly happy with him when I found out he banished you to the Continent. And to the Midlands too. I’ve heard it’s terribly boring here.” 

Azriel smiled, and this time it was a genuine one full of love and relief, “Everywhere is terribly boring without you. And terribly painful.” 

“That’s a very good answer.” You replied, feeling that a great weight had been lifted off your chest.

He held you in a gentle caress, tracing your brow bone and the curve of your lips and committing the feeling of you to memory.

This was real. This was real. This was real.

You both folded in on each other like paper houses laid to rest, until you were tangled up on the floor. There was a perfectly functional bed not even four feet away, but even that seemed like too much effort after everything that had happened. 

Azriel wrapped his wings protectively around you, settling down with his head against your chest so he could hear your heartbeat. You hummed in tired contentment, peppering his forehead with kisses as your eyelids began to droop. 

“I want to go home, Azriel,” You murmured, “I want to go home with you.” 

Home. 

Azriel swallowed thickly, “We’ll leave tomorrow first thing in the morning. I promise.” 

You opened a bleary eye, examining your mate quietly, “Do you not want to say goodbye?” 

Azriel kissed your chest, right over your heart. Thirty years ago he would have said yes. He would have taken time to get his affairs in order and to make sure Jadhan and his sons, Phaedra and Devra, and the rest were taken care of. But things had changed, and he knew that no matter what, they would be alright. They would live and travel and fall in love. If they were lucky, they’d experience the joy of dying in their sleep surrounded by loved ones at the end of a long and eventful road. 

“No. No, I don’t think so.” 

You pressed one final kiss to his forehead, absorbing him in the warmth of your arms. Azriel sighed, hanging onto the golden thread in his chest that wrapped around his soul and bound him to you. 

“They’ll be ok, my love.” You murmured.

And so will we. You whispered the promise down the bond, soft and gentle. 

He closed his eyes, pressing the words I love you into your skin.

“I know.” He whispered to the night sky once your breathing had evened out, “I know.” 

That night at the tavern felt like a dream - the kind that left you groggy and awestruck when you initially awoke, and then slipped away like water cupped in a child’s hands. 

Everything seemed louder than before, even though the townspeople walked about in a contemplative daze. It was the forest. That’s what it was. It hummed more brightly. The blanket of power that had rested over the treetops for decades had lifted overnight. 

No one spoke of the events aloud - they were too aware of the enormity of what they’d witnessed - but they all knew the truth.

The Shadowsinger had finally been called home. 

___

“Quick!” Alzhar’s eldest son, Samu, called out to the twins. They hobbled over as quickly as their stout legs could carry them. 

“Samu,” Niran whined, “I’m tired.”

“Papa said to be back by dark.” Rhaan reminded them all. The only trademark that separated him from his twin brother was the flash of blond through his ruddy brown hair. White-tailed deer they called him.

“I want dinner.” 

“Me too.” 

Samu looked over the hills where the sun was sliding down the sky like rain on a window.

“But we haven’t found the house yet!” He protested.

“We’ve been searching for days.”

“Yeah, we’ve been searching for days.” Niran parroted.

“Of course we have!” He threw his hands up in the air, “Did you really think the Shadowhouse would be easy to find?” He clicked his tongue in disappointment, shaking his head, “Go back if you’re so scared. I’ll look for it myself.” 

Niran and Rhaan looked at each other, identical frowns pulling at their lips. They wanted to prove their worth, but they were still younger than Samu, and their hunger mattered more.

“We’re telling Mama you didn’t listen.”

“I want your dessert.”

“Wait, no. I want it. Can we share?”

“I’m not sharing!”

Samu smiled triumphantly and stomped further into the woods, leaving the twins to their usual bickering.

The little boy sprinted back home hours later, a gleeful kick in his step. The sky was already turned pitch black, but the Mother had sprinkled out the stars like salt to guide him home.

Devra stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, swollen belly blocking out the roaring firelight like an eclipse. 

“Where have you been?” She gasped out, grabbing Samu’s head and holding him close to her stomach. Samu loved when she did this, convinced that his newest sibling would talk to him first. 

Niran and Rhaan wanted another brother to tussle with, but Samu was hoping for a sister. She could tussle with them too, he was sure.

He ignored her question, grabbing her hand and hauling her back inside, “Papa! BaBa! I found it! I found the Shadowhouse.” 

Niran and Rhaan popped out from their bedroom, clambering after their older brother as he dragged their mother along.

Jadhan and Alzhar looked up with relief. Jadhan’s hair had turned white as snow in his old age and hints of gray were beginning to sprout from Alzhar’s temples.

“Papa!”

“Samu, what have we told you about staying out past-”

“The Shadowsinger left something for you and Baba.”

“What?!” Jadhan sat up straighter, grimacing at the painful twist of his leg. He motioned his grandson closer, helping him climb onto the bed.

The little boy dropped the blue-velvet bag into his outstretched hands, leaning back on his heels with rapt attention. Samu, being the boy that he was, hadn’t opened it on the whole journey over and was now buzzing to learn what secrets it held within.

Jadhan was immediately startled by the weight of the parcel. 

“Open it!”

“Wait! I want to see!” 

“Help me up!” 

Alzhar and Devra relented, picking up the twins and leaning close. Their own curiosity was itching to be satisfied.

Jadhan opened the bag and tipped it over spilling dozens of gold coins onto the quilt. Devra gasped, her hands flying up to her mouth. Alzhar didn’t bother hiding his shock, his mouth agape. 

It was more money than they’d ever seen in their lives, Jadhan didn’t concern himself with it - he hadn’t had to worry about money in a long while. Instead, he picked up the slip of paper that had also fallen out, carefully unfolding it with trembling, wrinkled fingers.

For all the drinks “on the house” and for your son, Mikhail, who traveled to the edges of the Continent and made it possible for my mate to find me and bring me home.

Scrawled on the lower edge of the paper were more words, cramped and small like they’d been jotted down as an after-thought. 

Also, your whiskey is absolutely disgusting. Never let anyone else drink it.

Everyone stilled, watching Jadhan carefully. 

Without warning, the old man tipped his head back and roared with laughter.

Samu leaned back in surprise. His grandfather was a naturally solemn man, and he'd never heard him laugh so loudly and so fiercely.

Alzhar reached for the slip of paper, skimming the words quickly.

"No!" He cried out in disbelief, "Stop! This can't be. Devra, look-"

One by one the adults fell into fits of roaring laughter, collapsing onto Jadhan's bed or onto the floor. Even the boys cheered - confused but happy to be part of whatever story had just finished unfolding.

Jadhan was seventy-one years old when he died, and he died laughing, surrounded by his family at the end of a long road.

Down the street in the tavern, the band was still playing the same old songs, although they were being performed by yet another generation of songbirds. But, there was one new addition to the repertoire.

A song penned by Phaedra and aptly named The Ballad of the Shadowsinger years before her quiet passing. 

It was always the last song of the night. Always. And it ended like this: 

Come Solstice day

Come wind or rain

Now calls the heather

The Midlands will have no reason to dismay

For the Shadowsinger has been called home again

___________

Another author's note:

I feel like I threw in so many new human characters so I made a family tree. Ha!

Also, please enjoy the small essay I wrote last night after writing this oneshot...

From last night:

Listen, some red flags are just pale orange scraps of fabric when you’re an immortal non-human being who’s been alive for hundreds of years. Don’t come for me. I’m so tired. It’s 3am. I should sleep. 

Ok, note from Florence B at 3:16am because I am making CONNECTIONS. Not all of this was intentional, but maybe it was? Maybe I’m just stringing connections after the fact.  Maybe I’m a genius. Probably not, but still. I’m so tired, guys. Why am I doing this right now? I should be sleeping but I can’t sleep so I’m going to do this instead.

Buckle down folks for the essay I am about to write: 

I have my qualms about the ACOTAR books, as I’m sure most people do. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful reads and it’s the series that got me back into reading after college, but they’re not perfect by any means.

One thing I think that gets brushed under the rug (especially given how ALL the batboys fall for girls who are literally in their late teens/mid-twenties - it’s a major red flag but we forgive because it’s fiction) is how DIFFERENTLY fae experience time. LIke, these fuckers live hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of years. The only way they die is if they get killed, like purposely poisoned or stabbed or whatever have you. I tried to write this/touch upon this when Azriel describes how he’s jealous of Jadhan for his humanity and how no matter what, Azriel is stuck potentially living an ETERNITY with the reality of what he’s done. It’s why for me - personally - all the stuff about the mate bond driving males mad or the choice that Rhysand and Feyre make to bind their lives to one another kind of makes sense. Like, if I was faced with an eternal life sentence in a world that was as brutal and cruel as the ACOTAR universe is, HECK YEAH I MIGHT BIND MY LIFE TO SOMETHING/SOMEONE I CARED ABOUT! I’M NOT DOING THIS SHIT ALONE! You’ve gotta retire from the game at SOME point. 

I know I probably made things really confusing by introducing a whole host of human characters spanning several generations (re: the family tree up above), but as I previously mentioned, I thought it was important to do this to contextualize/compare the lifespan of a fae to a normal human. While Jadhan is growing up, getting a job, getting married, having kids, Azriel is still struggling with his banishment to the Midlands and his own sense of self-worth. The line about Jadhan approaching Azriel and offering him money to kill his abusive father who broke his leg was thrown in there later on around the 1am mark. And I didn’t think of it much - I just wanted a reason for Azriel to know Jadhan personally throughout his life from childhood to old age. BUT! Now that I think I’m thinking about it more, it makes sense that Azriel would be able to accept Y/n’s forgiveness so quickly. He sees a lot of himself in young Jadhan and by helping him escape his abusive father(albeit by violent means) and watching him grow up into a strong man and a good father, Azriel’s helping heal his own inner child. 

The kids! Oh my goodness I love the kids so much. Once I threw the first kid into the story I thought - fuck it, we’re going to make the parallelism painfully obvious with Azriel seeing himself, Rhys, and Cassian mirrored in Mikhail, Alzhar, and Zhik. Then of course I had to bring things around full circle and give Alzhar three boys and a girl on the way (yes, Devra is pregnant with a girl and Samu is going to shower her with all the love that Rhys gave his own sister). 

Finally, I’m going to address any comments about Y/n forgiving Azriel too quickly. 1) I feel like it is a universally acknowledged/unacknowledged truth that no one hates Azriel as much as he hates himself. And no punishment could ever be worse than the self-loathing he feels for himself (NOTE: people, if a partner/romantic love interest/friend/crush/whatever EVER says this kind of stuff to you, drop them like a two-ton boulder. That’s a major red flag, but once again this is a fictional man/fae so we can let it slide). 2) Once again, these fae are literally HUNDREDS OF YEARS OLD. I can only speak for myself when I say this, but I feel like if I had known and loved someone for that long, I would be willing to forgive a lot and trust that time might be able to heal deeper wounds than humans are used to. Time is precious to us humans, we can’t always afford to wait and hope for things to get better on their own, but fae can. 

Are those all my thoughts? I think those are all my thoughts. It’s 3:47am now. Oh jeez. To future me: I’m so sorry if you have to read this and it’s bad and you have a coffee-fueled headache all day because I fucked things up for us. 

#azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x mate reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel angst #azriel x reader angst #ANNNNGGGSSSTTTT #angst #angst with a happy ending

[reiincarnatiion]

shadows of destiny | azriel x reader | part two

summary : jealous but confused azriel, yearning shadows and sexy lucien and sexy reader ;)

🧚‍♀️

a/n: 💗 WOW. SO MUCH SUPPORT ON THE FIRST PART BROOO GUYS I JUST OFCOURSE HAD TO WRITE PART TWO and def will have part 3 i guess? ngl i am an angsty writer so im not good at writing happy endings HAHA rip for u all.

this is so addictive ive already written 3 stories in a span of like three days HAHAH 💗

also most azriel stories i read are never from his perspective so im keeping it from his perspective to change things up! he is def a bit out of character because i havent read acotar for a while rip but enjoy! thanks for the support and let me know your thoughts !! also this isnt proof read cuz ya girls lazy >.<

read [ part one ] !!

---💗---

"What are you two doing?"

Lucien and you both looked up, shocked (but not really) , to find Azriel standing in the middle of the dance floor, clad in his black silk shirt and pants, with swirls of tattoos peeking through, his collarbone on full display. Fae moved gracefully around him, dancing and making out, carefully avoiding the famed shadow singer.

He stands in front of you two, just as you two had begun your pathetic attempts to drunkedly dance. Your short dress had ridden up to the top of your thighs, pressed against Lucien's pants, and Azriel knew it was entirely inappropriate. He observed as you raised your eyebrows and looked down at him.

He couldn't fathom how you two had crossed the line from friends, but he knew it was wrong. Over the eons, he had seen you with many men, but they had always been strangers to him and the Inner Circle. They had never been serious.

Were you and Lucien serious? The club fell silent to him,  as he awaited your answer.

His shadows swirled around his feet, urging him to intervene. Some even attempted to caress your legs, but Azriel swiftly reeled them in, refusing to acknowledge how soft and sweet-smelling they might be. He couldn't bear to know how apparently tempting they were.

Azriel clenched his jaw as you gazed back at him with your kohl-lined eyes, their newfound seductive power nearly breaking his stoic demeanor.

He bit the inside of his cheek to quell the sudden effect your look had on him, not wanting to indulge in such thoughts; they could only lead to trouble.

"Uhhh... Dancing?" you drawled back finally, rolling your eyes in a way that he would have only have liked to see in bed with you, behind you, with his hands wrapped in your hair as he-

He blinked, the deafening thumping of the music returning to his consciousness, as the rush from his panicking shadows ebbed away, calming his racing heart.

What was he doing? Why did he even come here? A wave of guilt washed over him as he tore his gaze away from your captivating eyes, only to hear you laugh and giggle as Lucien whispered something in your ear, drawing you closer. A giggle Azriel had never noticed was so adorable and sexy at the same time.

Azriel shook his head, trying to make sense of the overwhelming emotions within him. It didn't make any sense. You were like a little sister to him, an integral part of his family.

Stupidly, he realized that he didn't know why his shadows urged him towards you, nor did he understand the sudden waves of jealousy coursing through him.

"AZ! SO NICE OF YOU TO FINALLY JOIN!" a voice screeched, breaking the tension that had enveloped him and the couple in front of him.

They weren't a couple, but they looked like one, and he couldn't stand it. He didn't know why he was acting this way, but he knew one thing for sure: he didn't like it.

He didn't like how Lucien's slender fingers gripped your waist with such familiarity and intent.

The voice that had called out before now manifested next to him as Cassian stumbled over, dragging Nesta along. Their interlocked hands taunted him once more, but Azriel forced himself to look up at Cassian.

"BROTHER!! LET'S DANCE!!" Cassian howled, reaching them and clumsily starting to move their bodies to the rhythm, grabbing Azriel's shoulders to mimic their motions. Azriel stumbled back, desperate to escape the situation, but Cassian persisted.

"Leave me alone, Cassian," he mumbled, brushing his brother's hands away with his gloved ones.

"Why don't you ever dance with us?" Cassian whined, oblivious to Azriel's attempts to withdraw.

Azriel burned with annoyance, returning his attention to you and Lucien. But then, a tender voice spoke out behind him, and he knew it was Feyre even before turning around to see Rhys drunkenly laughing with Cassian as the other couple joined.

“Az, what are you doing, staring holes into Lucien and Y/N,"

"I--" Azriel faltered, trying to make sense of his emotions and jumbled thoughts. "It's just wrong."

He blinked, wondering why he had even gotten up in the first place.

"They're just drunkenly dancing; Elain is fine with it. You don't have to defend her honor here, Az," Feyre assured him, patting him on the back before returning to her mate.

Azriel stood still, smoothing out his pants and running a hand through his tousled hair. The club's hazy atmosphere seemed to envelop him, and he realized that the fae wine he had consumed tonight had hit him hard. Perhaps he had gone too far this time.

"Yes, yes, of course. I just thought Lucien should respect Elain..." he answered hastily, though he knew Feyre had already left. Shadows informed him that Rhys and Feyre had retreated to their more secluded spot again, and Azriel felt a pang of envy.

A couple of fae rammed into him, slightly spilling their drink and apologising in a haste as they realised who they had just knocked into. He glowered down at them and shook his head, stalking back silently back to the booth.

He walked back to the booth where Elain was still seated, nursing a pink drink.

"What was that all about, Az?" she asked innocently, though her doe eyes betrayed her knowing nature.

"It was nothing."

"You were clearly distraught, Az."

"My shadows sensed something was wrong, that's all, Elain."

"Lucien and Y/N?" Elain asked gently, her hand reaching for his gloved hands.

Azriel looked down at her delicate skin brushing against his black leather glove and he felt a sudden overwhelming contrast between the two. He removed his hand from hers, realizing how mismatched they were.

Cassian and Nesta complemented each other perfectly, a match made from the Cauldron itself. Feyre and Rhys shared a love and trust so profound, it was interwoven within their powers.

But what did he have with Elain, other than a forced interest in gardening and her white and pink flowers?

"They're just dancing, it's fine," he told her, his voice numb. He couldn't help but look back at you and Lucien, still writhing against each other on the dance floor in ways that supposedly platonic friends shouldn't.

Lucien's hands were still firmly on your waist as you both gyrated, laughing and singing along to the music. You'd blame it all on the alcohol the next day, if asked about your actions. Azriel knew that, just as he'd experienced countless nights where Cassian or Rhys had kissed him during similar inebriated moments.

Beside you two, Nesta and Cassian mirrored your movements, seemingly unfazed by the intimate nature of your dance. The club's flashing colors continued to shift and flash all around Azriel, in strikes of pink, blue and green but all he saw was red, and he did not

Know

Why.

---

read part three here dearies !!

taglist for shadows of destiny : @allyjoe755 @impossibelle @t0uch-starved-h0e @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @marina468 @cassan1306

#acotar #enemies to lovers #angst acotar #azriel x reader #rhysand x reader #cassian x reader #eris vanserra x reader #lucien vanserra x reader #feyre archeron #high lady feyre #feyre cursebreaker #rhysand acotar #rhysand #elain x lucien #elain archeron #elain x azriel #azriel shadowsinger #nesta x cassian #cassian acotar #a court of wings and ruin #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #crying rn #jealousy #jealous!azriel

[kamotecue]

the one that got away ❆ l. williamson

pairing: leah williamson x fem!reader

summary: after you had torn your acl, it was deemed that you weren't able to return to your football career. so, what happens when you pursued something different, that the one you love, ended up being the one who got away? singer!reader

agony was what the blonde defender felt, it was the agony of losing you - the one that got away, for the english captain it was a relentless ache, the haunting melody of memories that lingers long after the music has stopped. her silent screams, the tumultuois storm of her emotions that threatens to consume every one of her thoughts and feelings. it was definitely a rollercoaster ride of emotions, the experience you both had together as a couple - the deep sense of grief and loss, the emptiness feeling that was impossible to feel, how every thought is consumed by the memories of you - how you'd both dance in the rain, her watching in amusement as you would always make blanket forts during movie nights, how she held onto you close as if you were going to disappear, and lastly, her favorite - the way she'd kiss you in private, how she showed you what it's like to be loved.

yet there it was, the winter of 2011 - you had suffered an anterior cruciate ligament injury making everything fall down, as much as you tried there was nothing that you could do. and so, you had left the football world, despite being the arsenal prodigy. a knock was heard, as you gazed at your bedroom door - the blonde defender had carefully opened the door, she looked at your eyes to see them filled with tears, knowing how this moment would change everything. your career ending injury, the one you sustained was not just a blow to your body, but a devestating blow to your dreams. you had worked so hard, sacrificed so much, to reach the pinnacle of yourcareer, only to have it all taken away in an instant.

"i won't be playing alongside you, as we thought, lee." your voice broke as you buried your face into the crook of her neck. the blonde reaching to softly rub your back, in an attempt to calm you which it did. the sniffles was heard throughout the house, yet all she could do was be there for you. it took you a while to accept circumstance, so you moved onto something else - music was the second, no third thing you loved - besides football, and the english defender. a year later, you took off into the music industry with a storm - you decided to form a band with your childhood friends, performing in sold-out stadiums, releasing a whole album - and it was even worse when the band had even gotten more famous.

in the early days, the love between you two was a bright flame, burning fiercely and passionately. but as your music career soared to unimaginable heights, the glare of fame cast a shadow over their relationship, changing everything. you had never anticipated the level of fame and scrutiny that would come with the band's success. everywhere you went, you were followed by a throng of fans and paparazzi, eager for a glimpse into your glamorous life. in which the pressure to maintain your image became suffocating, and you knew that any hint of scandal could spell disaster for your career. asmuch as you loved the blonde defender, you also knew that being seen with her in public could invite unwanted attention and speculation. that's why you couldn't bear the thought of her being surrounded by the media, or having her privacy invaded - as she loved being private. and so, with a heavy heart, you made the painful decision to push her away, thinking it was for the best.

at first, lee was confused and hurt with the way you acted, the unnesscary coldness. you tried to explain it, to make her understand the pressure you were under, but the damage had already been done, the trust between you two had been shattered, despite your best intentions - it couldn't be repaired. so as the distance between you two grew, your love began to wither and fade - the bright flame that had once burned so brightly was now nothing more than a flicker, barely illuminating the darkness that crept into the relationship. in the end, you were alone - your fame and success, a hollow comfort for the love that you'd lost. you often find yourself pondering, if you made the right choice, if pushing her away had been the only option, but deep down, you knew that the price of fame had been too high, and that you'd always regret the day that you'd let her slip away.

yet there you were, in front of her eyes - performing in front of 90,000 fans. she still loves you, and a part of her is hoping that you still do. and you do, you still do - there are countless nights were you're looking up at the hotel ceiling, a lingering ache in your heart for the love you had lost, the one that could've been yours if fate had not intervened. you'd often wondered how things could've been different if the acl injury had never happened, perhaps you would've never pursued music with such fervor, instead choosing a quieter life by her side. the lazy mornings spent in bed, tangeled in each other's embrace, and peaceful evenings watching as the sun would set, hand in hand. but reality was cruel, and the injury shattered not just your dreams but also the future you had envisioned with her. and as the final notes of your song had faded away, you closed your eyes, imagining for a brief moment that she was there in the crowd, that the blue eyes you had fallen in love with - and when you opened them, she was. a wide smile was seen on her face, as you noticed the tears in her eyes that were begging to drop, she was watching you with pride and love.

the crowd had cheered, as you looked away - greeted them with a small smile, as you bid goodbye. her eyes followed as you left the stage, a concerned look was seen throughout your bandmate's eyes. the crowd began to leave, one by one - yet a dazed look was shown on her face, you saw her, yet you haven't made the effort to do anything. maybe you shouldn't, maybe you couldn't or maybe you didn't have to.

"come on, lee - the concert is done." beth, her club and national teammate said, as a soft sigh was heard. she didn't notice a tour staff had walked her way. you had given orders to invite her teammate's backstage. the defender had only looked up when she took note of the unfamiliar ones, her eyes locked onto someone in uniform, the lanyard confirming that she worked for, or with you.

"ms. williamson, i presume? i was ordered to give you these backstage passes, as well as to escort you backstage." the worker said, as her eyes gazed to the passes in her hands, beth and a few others, their eyes had widened in shock. she slowly stood up before nodding to the girl, as every step began to feel a bit heavy for the defender, you walked back in forth in your changing room - wondering if it was the right choice.

it was, as the team had been led backstage, leah had caught the eyes of your three childhood best friends - people that she also knows, as she formed a friendship with the trio while you were dating. an amused look was seen on oliver's face, as he stood up to greet the team.

"never thought i'd see you again, lee." oliver's charming voice was heard, catching the eyes of his two other bandmate's "childhood friends". a soft smile was shown on archie's and adeline's face.

"neither did i" the english captain's voice was calm, gaining the attention of oliver who softly hummed.

"we've missed you, but she misses you more." oliver replied, he gazed at your dressing room door - it opened, revealing you.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal wfc imagine #engwnt x reader #lionesses x reader #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine

[p3arldiver]

A Court of Light and Sorrow

Chapter Six

Took a small break for exams but regular updates are backkkkkkk!! Here’s chapter 6 :) I hope you like it!!

#acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #shadow singer #shadowsinger #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #angst #mating bond #mates #acosf #cassian #nesta #cassian x nesta #elain #morrigan #lucien #emerie #feyre #rhysand #smut #eventual smut #azriel smut #azriel fluff #azriel angst #azriel acotar #acotar au

[marvelsmylife]

Rumor has it

Pairing: Azriel x reader

Prompt: “Eyes on me baby.”

a/n this is an 18+ drabble. Also, my requests are open if you have any requests. I mainly write fluff and smut.

ACOTAR Masterlist

Was this actually happening? Were you actually having sex with Azriel in the bathroom at Rita’s? After weeks of you and Azriel shamelessly flirting, you found yourself having sex with the shadow singer against the wall.

You wanted to feel bad for the people on the other side of the door who were begging to be let in because they had to use the bathroom. It took Azriel threatening their lives for the people on the other side to finally stop complaining and quickly step away from the door. “That wasn’t nice Az” you warned. 

“Would you prefer we have an audience then?” Azriel replied; his scarred hands found themselves around your throat and lightly applied pressure. That move alone caused your eyes to roll to the back of your head. 

You were about to reply when he added: “I’m the only one who gets the privilege to see you like this.” Azriel let the hand that was wrapped around your throat slide down until it reached between your legs. His finger massaged your sensitive clit and finally triggered your orgasm.

“Eyes on me baby” Azriel ordered and, you obeyed him. “That’s it dove. Cauldron boil me; you feel so good”. Azriel gritted out as he felt you tightening around his cock. After a few more thrusts, Azriel finally finished inside you.

Azriel continued to thrust until his cock softened and finally pulled out. “I miss you inside me already,” you whimpered at Azriel’s action.

“Don’t worry y/n. We’ll continue this back home,” Azriel promised while you got dressed and made yourselves presentable again.

Everyone around you tried to avoid eye contact once you stepped out. You bit back a smile when Azriel playfully slapped your butt and told you he was going to grab the two of you a drink.

As soon as you sat down, Nesta started bombarding you with questions. “Is the rumor true?” Nesta asked.

You let out a sly smile: “A lady never tells,” you teased before adding “But I’m not a lady, so yes, it is so true”.

Nesta wanted to congratulate you, but just as she was, Azriel reappeared with drinks in his hands: “What are you ladies talking about?”.

“They’re talking about how big your dick is; by the way, Az, congratulations. Or should I be congratulating y/n for getting the pleasure of riding it?” Cassian replied and earned an eye roll from his mate.

“Trust me, Cass, I’m very honored to ride it. It truly is a work of art,” you responded while you stared into Azriel’s eyes.

Azriel growled at your statement: “Finish your drink now. We’re leaving”.

Your friends were about to tease Azriel for his order but didn’t get the chance to. As soon as you placed your empty glass on the table, Azriel swept you up and took you back home.

#azriel imagine #azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar x reader #acotar imagine

[fraugwinska]

Hello Springflower~

*slams envelope on the table and stare you into your soul whispering*

Alastor x reader where reader is asking him to show off as a fake "couple" because of one sinner who just won't stop annoying reader. Al agreed to help his dear friend and it started of innocent and cute with hand holding, kiss on the cheek- when SUDDENLY he kiss reader (in front of the sinner ofc) INTENSE and when he just stops for a second to kiss her neck she's like: "Al...? He's gone."

And he is like: "how disapointing"~

And just GOES ON

*leaves a heart cupcake next to the envelope and runs away*

For you - anything, sweet summer child. This just flowed out of me, and I was kicking my own feet as I wrote it. So... Here you go ;> I sincerely hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️🦌❤️

Fake it 'till you Make it

The door slammed into it's frame with a bang so loud the glasses in it rattled. You panted, heart pounding hard in your chest as you tried to calm your erratic breathing. With shaking fingers you gripped the dark, wooden frame, so tight your nails scratched the furnishing off. You peered out of the yellow and red stained glasses, trying to identify the distorted shapes from the outside. Did he follow you? Was he still out there?

„What's...“

You felt a hand on your shoulder and reacted without thinking. You turned around with a shocked scream and whipped your arm out for a forceful slap. The sound reverberated around in the empty room as a slight stinging sensation ran through your palm. It snapped you back to reality and made you pause.

You blinked as your gaze went from your own, trembling hand, which now burned in an angry, red hue to a taupe face, the shadow of your handprint next to a wide, yellow smile. Your breath seemed to freeze as your eyes went up and finally met a pair of wide, burgundy ones.

"...the matter, dear?" Alastor finished, blinking before his face shifted slightly.

You stood speechless and frozen for a hot second, trying to recollect your thoughts before a tidal wave of emotion washed over your head. Embarrassment, followed by shock and, suddenly, by the sensation that started to build in your chest, the threat to bubble over in tears.

„Oh satan, Alastor, I-I'm so sorry. I, shit, I got you bad, I'm so sorry, th-there was.. and I was.."

You choked down another sob, words and feelings clogging up in your mouth. You rubbed at your stinging eyes, blinking away what you were trying desperately not to show. You thought it would have worked at least until Alastor's slender hands came up to wrap around your wrist and pull them away gently.

"Are you a singer, dear?" he chimed, his face unmoved, but his eyes softening a little. "Because that really was quite the hit! Ha ha!"

When you didn't join in his laugh, he immediately snapped out of it.

"But it seems my little joke was out of place, once again. What has you so rattled, little one?"

And this time, he actually made space and dropped the joke-y act, looking a bit worried. Which only added more pressure to the well in your chest. You squeezed your eyes shut to hold back any tears that tried to fight their way through, making yourself feel ridiculous.

"It's... there's this guy."

You swallowed sour spit down, licking your lips quickly before opening your mouth again, voice less shaky than you were feeling. "I saw him two weeks ago when I went grocery shopping with Niffty. He... he asked us for directions, I didn't know where the place he wanted to go was, and that was that. But ever since..."

Alastor's frown deepened. "Ever since then..?" he prompted carefully.

"...he kind of... pops up whenever I leave the hotel... he just shows up out of nowhere and asks me things. Follows me, doesn't listen when I tell him to leave me alone, doesn't know boundaries.." you balled your fists again, brows twitching down at the thought. "And today.. he tried to grab me, and I panicked, and I kicked him and he looked like..."

You looked back to the glasses.

"...it felt as if he was about to do something."

Alastor stared into you with these piercing eyes. It wasn't creepy, you didn't feel scrutinized or looked down on, and this wasn't the first time. Still, you felt that strange sense of unease in his intense gaze, like a cold hand was wrapped around your spine, running shivers down your back. It wasn't uncomfortable, per se, just... different. It had been months since you started your new job in the Hazbin Hotel as a bellhop, helping Charlie and Vaggie out in general. You weren't one to believe in redemption, but the work was easy, the residents nice and life, despite being dead, was good. It wasn't exactly peaceful, since living together with the radio demon sometimes had its challenges, but Alastor proved time after time that even if he could be quite eccentric, he was a good man deep down, funny and smart and interesting. Someone you could consider a friend.

That, however, didn't mean that he didn't spook you from time to time. He straightened his shoulders, brushed out imaginary dust from the sleeves of his suit, and when he spoke, there was an unmoving threat in his voice that he almost always hid behind his grins.

"He attempted to harm you?"

You furrowed your brows and stepped closer, leaving a little bit of space between you.

"I don't know... it felt like that. I didn't give it enough time to find out, I just ran back here."

"Smart girl.", he just commented, leaning over you to also watch the street through bulky glasses. You sighed and glanced out the windows. The sky had dimmed, red tinting the streets as it always did down here in the evenings. A few stray sinners stumbled along, either searching for a victim for the night or going home from their own sins. Still no trace of the demon. You could still feel the hot air of his breath on your neck when he bent forward. You grimaced at the thought of the stench of his sweat on the sleeves of your jacket.

"God... how am I going to go anywhere with him around?", you muttered to yourself, stepping back further and leaning against the table, burying your face into your hands. Alastor perked up at that. He tapped his cane against the floor.

"Oh, well I can't in good conscience allow my dear employee to fear the streets of the pentagram because of a silly pest."

You didn't catch his meaning. At least, not immediately. You shot a glance his way, giving him a skeptical look, furrowing a brow in confusion. "What do you-?"

He waved his cane, cutting you off, and put an arm around your shoulders. "I shall accompany you, then. When you need to go out, let me know and we'll show ourselves together. That sinner will get the gist then, I'm sure."

Your eyes widen. "Alastor, you're a genius!" you say with excitement as the thought slowly took root in your head, "If this creep thinks we're a couple, he might stay away."

"A what now?", Alastor asks, his smile faltering ever so slightly. However, his question was lost in your sudden enthusiasm, your excited rush of thoughts now loud and clear in your voice. "Then we should play the role in every aspect. We have to give off couple vibes, maybe show some PDA, nothing overboard, I know you don't like that kind of stuff, but holding hands might be believable enough. Oh, you're the best, Alastor."

"Yes, yes... so I've been told...", he replied with the usual giddy tone, although his voice sounded a little thick with white static.

You didn't pay much attention to it though, feeling a weight drop from your shoulders at the prospect of keeping the nuisance at bay. The whole idea might seem a bit strange to the others, but if it helped, why not?

***

"Well then, darling, ready to give the performance of your lifetime?", Alastor called the moment you exited the elevator. He was practically hopping over, grinning at you with a mixture of smugness, amusement and... something else. His smile grew, showcasing his pointed, sharp teeth with a flash. He was looking as dapper as always, dress coat neat and perfectly in place, cane ready at his hands - the radio demon as he breathed and lived.

"I hope so..." you muttered distractedly while straightening the hem of your uniform and peeking around the lobby. It was early morning and you had a not-so-short list of errands to run for the hotel. Alastor had been nonchalant about the trip when you asked him to accompany you last night, and you had half-assumed he had some matters of his own to tend to, or just flat-out backing out. But he just waved his hands and told you he'd be there at 8 a.m. sharp, which he was. In ALL the ways.

As it turned out the rumors of your plan must have traveled down the hotel grapevines fast and after a small bang and a hissed “Sssshhh!” from the left you saw the curious faces of Charlie, Niffty and Angel poking out the kitchen door, spying from afar and watching you and Alastor with bated breaths and loud-yet-shushed giggles.

"Don't tell me you're having a second thoughts on me accompanying you, dear.", Alastor stepped closer, wrapping his fingers around your hand in a tight grip, either oblivious to the audience or utterly non-fazed by them. You shook your head no, grimacing a little as your body tensed up in a bit of... concern. Not because of what you were about to do, no, it had everything and nothing to do with him and the... um. Hand. Touching.

"We can hear you, you know.", you hissed in the direction of the whispered squeals at his gesture, face scrunching up when a peal of giggling broke out and Angel audibly snorted through a quickly closed door. "Jus' be careful, tits, if 'ya go further than that with the oldtimer 'ya might need to buy some protection while 'ya out."

***

The plan was quite simple, but you guessed it had the possibility of either working like a charm or the idiot getting so mad, he could lose it and try something stupid.

Nevertheless, with Alastor on your side you didn't feel as paranoid and suffocated about leaving the grounds of the hotel. And his idea had worked out brilliantly so far. Not a single sign of your stalker, you had only met the usual faces on the main market road of the Pentagram City - maybe they stared a little more... okay, a LOT more, seeing you arm in arm with Al - and you ran into Angels' friend, Cherri Bomb, when you had to get some permits renewed. She had been friendly but extremely surprised and curious about since when you and Alastor, THE Radio demon were parading around 'like a pair of fuckin' newlyweds', in her words.

Alastor tried to brush her off with a monotone "What can I say? The good Lady just adores my presence.", squeezing your hand a little tighter, but his answer didn't satisfy her, so Cherri tried to pry into you, raising a brow and shooting you a smirk. "Al is a fun guy and interesting to talk to and spend time with. I like his company.", you shrugged, signing a paper, avoiding looking the cyclops into the eyes while you felt your ears redden.

It took her a good minute of blank stare, but when her grin slowly grew wider, you had no choice but to warn her with a hard stare and a small shake of your head. She rolled her one eye but she made a gesture of sealing the lips, still oogling the connection of your hands with impish delight.

At that moment you felt a squeeze on the hand, still in Alastor's grasp and his heavy stare from your right. His smile seemed fixed, a bit on the strained side, although his gaze remained cheerful.

"Everything wrapped up here, dearest?" he asked, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Almost done, just this document and the hotel can continue to serve alcohol. Husk would give me one hell of a shot if I'd forget that one."

You looked over to see if Alastor would pick up on the joke, but he was staring intently somewhere over your shoulder, so you just filed the form quickly and waved your friend goodbye. He quickened his steps, almost dragging you away as he paced down the street. You almost tripped over you own feet, trying to keep up with him.

"I think your persistent little pursuer has found us, darling. Don't look, just walk."

You sped up, also feeling a presence that had been on your heels a little longer than comfortable, a weighty silence behind your back. Still, as you rounded a corner, you just had to take a tiny peek and you saw, from the corner of your eyes, that the deranged looking coyote was gaining on you, still keeping his distance, his figure only a dark, moving smudge in the distance.

"Um... I guess now's a good time for a Plan B.", you said, halting in front of an antique shop.

Alastor's hand slid a bit lower, only his fingers curled around yours now, his warm touch tingling. "I'm thinking of it. Knowing your weak stomach, darling, bloodshed is out of the question?" he inquired, acting overly interested in a vintage gramophone showcased in the shop window and you snorted.

"You remember that?"

"Dear, it's hard to forget the amount of bile Niffty had to clean out of the dishwasher after you ran into my cooking...experiment."

"Not my proudest moment...", you laughed nervously, feeling cold sweat gather up on your back as you saw the rabid looking demon from the corner of your eye, creeping closer and closer. Alastor gave you a long, thoughtful look, before he spoke again, quietly and serious.

"Then let us both hope you'll stomach Plan B better."

Before you could think much, Alastor turned towards you, untangling his fingers from yours. His now freed hand cupped your cheek, and before you could say anything, he bowed down, tilting his head a bit to the side and gently pressed his ever-smiling lips against yours.

It was not your first kiss in your afterlife, but it might have very well been, seeing as your first response was an electric jolt up your spine. And this reaction wasn't even the weirdest part if the actual kissing part was just some peck. This wasn't a peck. A kiss with lips unmoving wasn't a kiss, it was more of a mouth-touching. This was something way more.

As surprising as the kiss was the tenderness with which he brought his lips to yours. It was gentle and yet so sensual that it sent small currents all over your skin, causing your eyes to close, goosebumps to form along your arms and a nervous flutter to erupt in the pit of your stomach. And maybe, maybe it lasted for just a fraction of the eternity it felt like, but if someone would have asked you later, you would swear he stole more than just a taste with the kiss. The slight push and pull between your mouths left the edges of your skin numb, the press of his smooth and heated mouth stirring up a peculiar feeling inside you that kept growing and rising and..

What was the reason for this again?

Oh yeah, your stalker.

Stalker.

You opened your eyes, seeing Alastor's burning red eyes fixated on something behind you, his expression intense with the hint of arrogance, a possessive smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. Something about that, the feel, the look in his eyes, made the back of your neck prickle. You blushed a little bit more but caught onto the reason the moment you realized what he was doing, trying to break the kiss to see where the coyote was.

You could only turn your head far enough to see the quickly shrinking silhouette of the demon vanishing in the distance, before Alastor brought his other hand to your waist, pulling you closer together, his tongue slipping between your lips, coaxing your lips to open again. Your own tongue responded and, together they mingled and twined with one another, sending the nerve-ending of your lips into a pleasant tingling sensation.

"A-Alas...tor...", you tried to get the words out as he nipped your lower lip, your eyes falling into those bright, heavy lidded ones of his, eyes which you couldn't stop looking into.

"He.. he's gone."

"Mh. Pity...", Alastor breathed with a soft hum, his chest rumbling at his words. His response had a mixture of sarcasm and amusement in it, but before you could properly ponder on them, your entire mind short-circuited when you realized he made no move to pull away.

Quite the opposite - with his hand sliding to your neck he pulled you onto his mouth again, deepening the kiss as his tongue slipped past your lips once more, completely shutting your mind down as a quiet, heartbreaking moan escaped your throat.

The fact that you two were in public, still standing in front of some store, all on display for anyone that might come down the road, didn't register in the haze that was slowly, so pleasantly slowly, forming. So lost were you in that fog of heat that the surroundings suddenly got distorted, leaving the alley, the store, the city completely. Your head spun at the sensations, a tremble raked across your nerves as your knees grew weak at the sound of his playful voice, echoing in the void you found yourself in.

"Let's draw it out a little more, darling, hm? Just to make sure."

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel fanfiction #fraugwinskawrites #angel dust #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel niffty #for the frauchen #quick fic