#THANK GOD FOR THE EXISTENCE OF SCREENSHOTS

[pinkpuffballdude]

okay I am thinking So intently about the Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity and Mortality, putting this under a cut because it's allllll speculation and BIG spoilers for the second/third season

like. okay. I'm thinking about the man with the voice like honey and chocolate and coffee. I'm thinking about his motivations.

the things I know about him, that he's been involved in are:

the dancing plague/Pied Piper/other mass hysteria thing

the success of Johnny Samuels Bluesmusician

the dreams where he replaces you

the survey Guide did at the end of that one tour where he stole your keys

reuploading Guide as he was after Hours if not Weeks of wandering the museum

things I think he's been involved in:

Jacob and his mirror

the actor and his clones

things Guide thinks he's been involved with:

the lockdown

I don't think he's the cause of the lockdown. Guide said that it looked like the security guard had shot himself, and the man with the voice only showed up three months later, well after his death.

I do think that his showing up in your dream, the nostagic flashback, is... okay, for me it felt very indicative of his character? to recap, the dream was about a more or less mundane moment, eating dinner with your family on some kind of trip, except there is a man there, and you go unnoticed. as soon as you are noticed, everyone acts like you're not supposed to be there, and the man gets up and as he walks closer his face distorts into your face and he says that you're not supposed to be here, this is his life now

and then you wake up.

additionally, the agreement he made with Flatshoe had the condition that he would one day return the favor, no elaboration. the story/ies about mass hysteria had him helping people for no fee, and then welcoming them when they came back. tbh I'd read that as him pulling a first one's free, luring them in so they'd come to rely on him and his song.

all of his stories have him taking advantage of people, of tricking them somehow and letting them play into his hands. but he isn't cruel. it's important, that he doesn't hurt people for the sake of it. he took Johnny too soon, realized his mistake, and gave him a new (and arguably improved) body, letting him roam the earth as some kind of spirit. it's unclear if Johnny will ever be able to fulfill his end of the deal now, due to being. incorpereal, but the man did this anyway. in the dream, he doesn't do anything until your family notices your presence, simply laughing and talking and enjoying their company. he never spoke to Guide, possibly so that he wouldn't clock on to his identity, or maybe to keep him from... hurting him somehow? that's pure speculation, though I like the idea that any recording of the man's voice would drive someone to madness, and since Guide is all recordings, he chose not to take that risk. it's a nice thought.

I don't think he wants people dead, is my point. I don't think he wants power, necessarily, or to destroy the Museum or its people simply because. the only description we have of this man is his voice, nothing of his self, or even his physical apperance, excepting that he's "handsome". he could be anything. his apperance shifts, when it needs to, almost regardless of whether or not he wants it to; he is powerful beyond belief; he is so, so lonely.

I think he wants to be real.

#audio tour guide referred to as Guide throughout #cause 'the tour guide' feels. impersonal. and unweildy. #ANYWAY I love the man with a voice like honey and chocolate and coffee and I hope he isn't evil and also does/has good things #the mistholme museum of mystery morbidity and mortality #oh thank god that was an already existing tag #true story #LIKE okay I'll reblog this in a moment with some screenshots kaldhfskl

[crossbackpoke-check]

Dude Mo seider was so turned on by those big dudes and loving feeling like a tiny delicate princess next to them.

🗣️🗣️🗣️

WELCOME TO MY THESIS

i like to call it fridge on (emotionally mini)fridge action wherein moritz seider, noted six four two hundred pound man, once described by roman josi as a “big guy”, frequently said to be giant and huge and etc etc etc by mickey redmond, is the Babiest Girl Alive. flirting and laughingly saying “oh nooo don’t get me ahaha stop” while being manhandled by several men!!! giggling uncontrollably comparing his legs to the size of other men’s arms!! making sure everybody knows how much bigger than him joe is!!! if the common theme of all these things just so happens to be making him feel small and delicate that’s just a coincidence he can’t be blamed for that, YOU’RE the one treating him like a perfect princess

#he’s emotionally a mini fridge bc. mini despite being a literal fridge of a man do we all understand the joke ok thank u for laughing 🫶 #anon i’m kissing u on the mouth (with consent) btw. perfect phrase. perfect sentiment. no real notes that’s it exactly #everything about this man. everything to me. #i!!! simply think!!!!! we don’t babygirlify this man enough!!!! that’s my WIFE goddamnit!!! and i need her to get fucked nasty by big men!!! #do you know. do you know the Archive i have in my screenshots of gelinas/seider. like he Fucked That Man #it is peak big vet calling a younger guy ‘kid’ to convince himself he’s too young for him before he fucks him over a table text post vibes. #so i’m just SAYING with all the content that exists & the narrative they wrote in the literal detroit free press about each other 0 WORKS?? #yes i know write the content you want to see in the world but re:every project ever. what if i can’t 🫴 #liv in the replies #it is. i have it written down in SO MANY PLACES that i love joe being shorter than mo (by like. an inch lol) but mo being like ‘😳 oh my god’ #‘joe you’re so BIG’ and yes this is because joey v comes back fucking RIPPED every summer & he’s a slutty lil italian boy who likes to show #off his tits. what are mo & i gonna do not look??? (joey v shirtless slutty cameo videos you are Everything to me. why did you film them)

[apothecarywormcrud]

wick.exe has stopped responding. windows can check online for a solution to the problem.

#firealpaca straight up vaporized the layer this was on from existence so thank god for discord screenshots #kinda homophobic ngl #anyways whats good im back at it again with the probably OSHA violations #wicktor #my art #viktor x oc

[somerandomdudelmao]

ok wait hold up can we actually just like talk for a second about Donnie's behavior in these last few pages??

Before he found out about the infection, Donnie was still very nonchalant about a lot of situations, but he always had a sense of care and compassion for certain things, like for example, his family and friends. He used a lot of sarcasm and was overall just the snarky autistic tech dude who had more love than he could even imagine giving. He had a relentless grip on his bad-boy image, was stubborn as all hell, but was a well-rounded, lovely guy!

And then the realization hit that he was going to die sooner than expected. Then...

Poof!

Now he's just a shell (Hahaahahahahaha) of who he used to be. Now all he has for himself is a bunch of self-deprecating jokes, responsibilities to pass on to others, and a lack of hope that is just so incredibly unlike him. He still has the sarcasm, sure, but this time it's a lot more dry and emotionless. There's no brevity or lightheartedness to his words anymore, it's all just a monotone mess of half-assed goodbyes and thrown out dreams for the future. Any method of survival has seemingly been lost to time for Donnie, so now he's just kinda... Accepting the fact he's gonna die soon, which only leaves him with his own decaying body and a voice he doesn't even want anymore. And judging by the way he just ignores or shrugs aside everyone's concern, it's all basically just him saying, "Welp, guess I'll die. Here's my shit, no will required."

Also another thing I noticed is that Donnie is basically not allowed to really do anything anymore because he's at risk of dying sooner than he already thinks he will. If he gets more rest and works less, his death come significantly slower.

Meaning he must feel incredibly useless right now.

I think I've also pinpointed the time when this all started happening to Donnie btw. It's a very small moment and I don't have the screenshot on me rn but I think it was in the robo-Raph comic, specifically the moment when Donnie was zooming over to Casey and went "Past" that Kraang alien dude on the way. I imagine he didn't really go past and instead went through, because u know, he's Donatello. If given the chance to commit murder, he will commit, and he very much had the chance right there. I think he went through that Kraang alien, (Very plausible given how fast he was going like jesus- ) got its blood inside a cut or something, and it infected him via his veins or something. Kind of a stretch to assume this since it literally could've been something that took place before the time of this comic series, but this was the earliest instance of foreshadowing/possible infection that I can think of.

I also want to apologize for making all those jokes about like taking you to court and throwing you in jail and stuff because maybe they came off as mean or rude at some points. And for constantly flooding your inbox lol-

Thanks for existing and for making this comic, and congrats on beating the deadline at work! I think you deserve a cookie for that! *Gives a million more cookies* oh yeah and those are for you being you

Oh my fuckiNG GoD...

I don't even know what to say to that

I guess I just want everyone else to be able to read it too because..oh shit...oh wow.

#I'm impressed #like #genuinely #don't worry i like being in jail lmao #so many people already thrown me there #this is my home now

[n0bluev]

redraw(ish) link

Um. Actually, ☝️, Geto is fun. (No offense but skill issue, Gojo. (☝️.))

___

Very random impromptu god gojo AU thingy ??? I got the idea 5 seconds before drawing this (: brain empty….!! big eyes !!!eyes… GOJO? Gojo has eyes…- "BIG" eyes……..,'God' coded? Lets go with that.) and only thought a little while drawing so theres not much lol

But uhm.; So gojo is a young god ™ (around 20yo, typical gojo.) but despite that, he’s been overpowering other gods who have been there for thousands of years since the moment he was born (breaking the balance of the world as he does) so thats fun -- gods are immortal but he "doesnt count" yet right? his existence is an insult to the rest of the world. ‘Elders dont like him’ (that goes both for old gods AND old worshipers.) [<—aka ‼️OVERPOWERED YOUNGSTER OLD PEOPLE DONT LIKE ✅ (CHECK!) VERY GOJO!]

Theres a worship system thing going on in this AU ; A lot of people are very religious and follow these gods and whatnot (but there are probably groups that reject this lifestyle, or that sought out taboo methods instead, staying away from places where strict laws rule) [hashtag insert worldbuilding] —— GETO (born same year as « gojo ») HAS BEEN BROUGHT UP IN THIS SYSTEM SINCE A RELATIVELY YOUNG AGE AND IS FULLY EDUCATED ABOUT THE MANNERS AND RITUALS HE SHOULD DO AND BLABLABLA. Theres a hierarchy in the church/cult thing so theres higher ups for him to dislike while politely kissing ass (amen). Idk what he thinks of the gods (it’s between him being a model worshiper that truly has faith in them & him secretly having something against them for some reason, only believing in his own gatekeep girlbossness or something¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

EITHER WAY. he goes to meet gojo at some point. Probably because he has been asked to. Maybe the story is about (/or at least starts with) elders ™ deciding they want to find ways to control / restrain gojo (idk), leading to satosugu eventually teaming up to say fuck that.

Something something geto being « favoured by a god [gojo] » thus having a definite place in this world and gojo feeling like geto’s existence « grounds him » and gives him proper meaning in what to use his strength for and whatnot. Whatever (i doubt im going to write this so im not gonna elaborate lol sorry (i love me some character psychology but 💤💤)) Something something they are a destined cosmic pair your honour. Hashtag soulmates in every universe including this one HAh

Kind of an afterthought but: Gojo adopting megumi is definitely canon here too so 👍👍👍👍 (megumi is probably human but idk, as long as theyre wholesome im sold <3<3) SO LIKE, SOME PLOT HAS TO HAPPEN TO MAKE THEM FAMILY YKNOW - but deal with that yourself 😌(💤) (unless i come back to this idea with some deranged brainrot i didnt ask for + the will to create & share it✌️)

(Ps i decided gojo can change size so he can be human sized (oooo sneaky!), but ‼️‼️he can also be pocket size‼️‼️(i think thats the most important to note thank you v much), hes not stuck on giant mode yay :D)

___

Everythings so sketchy haha, BUT GETO YOUR HONOUR! ah…no earring on this screenshot tho mybad

#not rly rendered :/ got tired before i got there (might draw another similar thing later with more care tho) #eye thing -- but yeah id prefer a drawing where i went to the extreme (this isnt it) #I WANNA DO BIG BIG GODLY EYES YKNOW? *sighh* later #呪術廻戦 #jjk au #jjk #jjk fanart #satosugu #gojo #geto #satosugu fanart #stsg fanart #stsg #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanart #nhoblu narration #i guess pft #gojo satoru fanart #gojo satoru #geto suguru fanart #gojo fanart #geto fanart #geto suguru #ugh im never tagging all that again - never

[kalims]

Oh my goddess, orders are open! Ahem, ANYWAYS— I wonder if I could have an Idia with a fem or gn s/o who is introverted and generally closed-faced, being a sweetheart and even shy with him, pretty please?

• Remember to drink water and take care of yourself correctly, kisses <3

– Mel 🌙🩵✨

dress,

premise.

idia forever thought his cause of death would be the permanent termination of his end game account—which in theory, is now proven wrong at the existence of a brand new thing that just might obliterate his heart.

note. thank you mel <3 you too. i, for one will gladly accept kisses from u and idia (he's downbad here LOL)

idia is having a strangely, familiar sensation.

for example—the fact that his heart is palpitating so fast is making him afraid that he'll get the same sense of doom he frequently gets whenever this happens. like when he's the one that the professor chooses to answer a question up front. just his luck cause it absolutely sucks in real life just as much as his chances of winning that rare character.

but no, there isn't an impending sense of doom that sends him to the edge. no cold sweat forming on the skin of his neck, nor does it protrude from his clammy hands. it's weird, he feels warm rather than the cold it usually accompanies.

he needs to visit a doctor.

he gulps thickly. sending a lightning fast glance at your direction then averting it even faster. oh my god, your hand just brushed against his.. was it intentional? no, no—it mustn't be. you wouldn't waste your time doing that.

but you might even look more tenser than he is.

despite the attempt at flushing down the tightness in his throat, his words still break off into a croaky stammer that just sends his face into a grimace because, did he sound like that? "I'm.. I'm really sorry, you didn't have to do this," he says, looking away with those eyes that just screams a mixture of 'I hate it all.' and 'I'm so scared.'

his eyes in comparison to yours, dull significantly in terms of greatness. cause as rare as it is for your eyes to meet, he'll always marvel at the lush hue your eyes are colored with—and god, your lashes. so pretty, so, so pretty.

he sulks. he doesn't deserve this.

"it's alright," you answer in response, voice quiet but it's the only thing he ever hears despite the myriad of people quite nearly squishing the both of you. the crowd is large, and noisy. so he isn't sure why he's suddenly the greatest listener when you speak. "I'm glad you thought of... inviting me along, I know you're quite passionate about it."

passionate is not a strong enough word, it could be an incorrect word to use even. he supposes it's just a nice feeling to excel—be good at something.

but with how hot his heart is probably burning, maybe passionate really is the right word.

for you that is.

most likely idia's ideal type of player two <3 someone he can keep up with, not too fast and certainly not too slow. but either way, he’s probably having a heart attack at whatever you do. literally just sleeping? his heart… playing with him? please match avatars at once or he will combust. (and yes, he is hinting even though you already match everywhere else. had a house in a game, got married in a game.)

don’t even pull out the fact he buys you the currency to match and you feel bad cause he thinks it’s too cute. you need to stop or else he will buy you more.

speaking of more in game terms, he surprisingly garners a lot of attention online maybe because he’s endgame in every single account he’s made and many people like money so… there are many attempts at ‘rizzing’ him up but in the end he’s provoking them to screenshot it and report them as online daters.

^ says THE online dater.

still reports people if they flirt with you, but compared to his. not only is it a file for online dating he somehow dug up the dirt, the monstrous things they did like… 3 years ago and now they’re gonna get suspended. It’s concerning since he was talking with you animatedly during it and he somehow also exposed them all in 10 minutes.

did the see you again trend in secrecy cause he would rather leap down a hole to hell than let people see it. In any case… if it isn’t obvious he’s the lala, you the okok.

deluded himself, is convinced that he’s actually the nonchalant, ‘cool’ one but all he is, is a literal puddle. is still solid when standing but will be putty in your hands in SECONDS.

idia is secretly really proud of himself whilst being like: how did i even pull them. cause when he looks at your face when you’re talking to other people. he’s actually kind of scared cause it’s a really wondrous thing you never once looked at him like that… (please save his mind too. he’s trying to convince himself that you must be like this, soft person he knows to other people too and not just him because that’s just crazy right haha.. hahahaha…)

the type to tell you to stand back during raids, challenges, boss fights, etc…  that all you need to do is be there, and that he’ll solo it for you and you can claim your rewards even though he gave you the rarest, strongest equipment in respective games which won’t be much use at this point cause he insists he do it for you, and sulks all day if you don’t let him.

stay at home couple >>>

will order every single thing you crave during those times he’s too shy to consider date nights, and you too so it’s like an unspoken thing. he honestly plays better when you’re inside his room, even if it’s just laying on his messy bed scrolling on your phone or munching on something.

it’s just complete, comfortable silence.

except for the time one of you accidentally makes an indirect flirty comment and now the room could be considered a sauna from the literal steam only two people emitted. 

really, really, really, REALLY, likes it when your head is on his shoulder.

“─ean.. no one really asked for it, the nerf was completely unnecessary and─” the words poured out of his mouth, something uncontrollable that he couldn’t stop. there is something about you that just kicks down the layer of anxiety on him. comfortable might be the right word, even if you don’t talk that much (which is surprising cause he ends up being the talkative one and you always assure him that you like to listen.) somehow the thought: am i too annoying? doesn’t really pop up like usual.

in fact, he’s excited to ramble all about it. excited to hear your thoughtful hums, excited to see your attentive eyes on him since the first word he’s said─but it isn’t. because he looks up and you’re blinking haphazardly, thrice in a second and before he panics to shut his mouth he feels the soft slump of your head against the curve of his shoulder.

oh my god, oh my god, oh my g─

if idia had half of his mind he would scream instinctively at the weight he isn’t really accustomed to feel. actually, even if he did have his entire brain connected, and his thoughts coherent he still would. but he bites the inside of his cheek cause despite the chaos that just erupted in his mind which is somehow simultaneously blank, and swirling.

and he remembers midst his confusion that you are,

asleep.

you’re asleep on his shoulder

you’re asleep.

asleep on his shoulder.

on. his. shoulder.

he resorts to the screech in his head.

his shoulder─is so terribly stiff right now to the point where he thinks that sleeping on a hard, wooden surface would be surely more comfortable rather than where your head lays. he makes an effort to relax his muscles, tell himself that it’s only you and that there’s nothing wrong but there is something wrong because it’s you! idia dares to sneak a peek at you and your closed lids only confirm your unconscious state.

and careful with each nudge his movement makes sends to your head. idia can’t resist the hands that creep up his face and bury it, to hope all the embarrassment and whatever he’s feeling right now absorbs it right out of his face because god. he knows he looks like he just ate 10 bowls of lilia’s cooking.

he would scream, he really would. a second thought but you’re on his shoulder!

you, who rarely touches him too much.

on him.

him, who gets too flustered to be touched by you.

so he feels pretty obligated to just suck it up cause he’s enjoying the moment even if you aren’t conscious right now and he sure as hell is going to, for as long as he can.

idia releases a deep sigh, long and wistful because he’s gonna die before you even wake up.

#ㅤ◜◡◝ . . signed ! #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #twst fluff #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland imagines #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #idia x reader #x gn reader

[d0g0r0t]

can I pls have yandere Toby??? pretty please

Yandera Toby

TW:GROSS SHIT!!! Obsession, stalking, violence, sh

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!

He's low-key so pathetic

Seeing how pretty and kind you are he couldn't help but fall... well become obsessed

Your his!.... who the fuck are they? Why aren't you with him your supposed to be with him not them!

Yea no. He's all over the place when it comes to you

He'll sneak into your house, stealing things that smell like you or remind him of you

Stealing your perfume and using that shit like Febreze. He can barely breath in his own room anymore cause he used the whole bottle, reeking the room with your smell

He steals your deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, bodywash. Just to feel a little closer to you

He takes your underwear every now and then. Over time you'll find it on your door step all... sticky and.. what the fuck is that smell?

It's gross.

He takes your worn out shirts ALOT. You always looking threw your closet trying to find that one band tee the just suddenly disappeared

He'll give them back once he has you <3

Leaving you with little hickeys and red bruises on your neck when you sleep

He loves seeing you wake up in the morning confused on why you have these marks on your throat knowing damn well you didn't go out that night

He really does like you. He sees his obsession as a simple crush when it really isnt

He's never had someone he can see romantically so it was weird when he found out he DID love you

He gets emotional. Seeing you with someone else or not by his side

It feels like your betraying him even tho you don't know he exists

He talks about you SO.MUCH

It's like that stupid "hey masky" thing but instead it's "y/n" over and over again

Tim AND Brian have both rocked his shit because he wouldn't shut up

He has so many pictures of you on his walls. Some of you sleep, some of you eating, working, brushing your teeth, bathing. It's insane how many his got of you

He stalks your socials with his victims phones, getting BEN to figure your locations and you WHOLE life story

He knows a little to much about you

"Oh! Y/n order pizza last night at 7:46pm!"

"How... how the fuck do you know that?.."

He knows all of your accounts on and social. He wants to like your stuff but he doesn't want you to know him just yet

He screenshots your stuff and favoring all your videos to the phone

His wallpaper his your face and his password his you name or birthday

His tics slowly started to form around you as well. Him randomly stuttering out your name or something about you

The moment he actually kidnaps you is when he killed everyone you know and love

He's the only one you should love and think about. Just like him!

He holds you in his bed, ropes around you wrists and ankles

He would never put you in some nasty basement your to pretty for something like that

He stares at you for hours. Watching you struggle and squirm as desperate tears stream down your face. His head and arms rested up on the bed as he just watches you

He only keeps you tied you to his bed for a little while

He may be crazy but he's not abusive and wants you to be comfortable... kinda

He never hurts you, or tries not to

The only time he'll hurt you is if you try to leave him

But let's just hope you don't do that

He keeps you locked in his room for God who knows how long

He brings you your favorite goods and drinks and overall treats you well

He knows you won't love him right away but he doesn't want you to hate him

He asks if he can touch you or do certain things

If you say yes he's praising you and thanking you. But if you say no he begs for a bit but understand after a moment

He doesn't want to hurt you, he really doesn't

The idea of you being in pain from his hands reminds him of his father and the way Lyra looked after every beating broke him

He doesn't want to see you like that

He literally BEGS you if he can kiss you. On his hands and knees "PLEASEEEEEEE"

When you do he's shaky and doesn't know where to put his hands. He gets so needy for your lips and becomes a bit aggressive

Biting your lips, shoving his tounge in your mouth. It's wild

He bites at his fingers so much just thinking about you to where he starts bleeding.

Or scratching at his skin at the thought of you with someone else

Sad

NSFW

GROSS SHIT!!!_______________________________________

Jerks off to your pictures every night no questions asked

Uses your underwear as a cum rag hints why it's so gross and sticky

He's moaning your name softly as he cums, whimpering and gripping at the sheets just thinking about how gorgeous you are

CAN NOT control himself around you

He has so little sex life he's like a 14 boy who just hit puberty and can't look at a girl in the eyes

He's tenting so bad it looks actually painful

When you catch him staring at your body he turns in a mess apologizing that he was looking at the he didn't mean it like that. And covering his boner...

The thought of YOU and HIM was like a dream that he knew would never happen.

Feeling your soft gummy walls around him is all he thought about

When ever he touches you he gets needy and wanting to touch you even more

If you two are ACTUALLY involved don't be surprised when randomly you get groped aggressively

He loves seeing you squirming and trembling under him. Soft tears streaming down your pink face as he bucks himself balls deep. Heavenly

SORRY ONCE AGAIN SHIT IS TAKING SO LONGGG

Also ik u didn't ask for NSFW I just had to 💀

#creepypasta #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby #slenderman #toby rogers #x reader #crp #creepypasta x reader

[edenfenixblogs]

hey, gentile here. just came across this post of yours and, first of all- it's SUPERB. it showed me a perspective on being a jewish ally that i really wouldn't ever have considered by myself, made me more confident in my choice to put combating jew-hatred above the friendships I've recently lost, and gave me a really useful direction on where to go as an ally to jewish people onwards. that being said, there's a few details about it I'd like to press you about, if it's not too much trouble.

this point is probably worthy of an eyeroll as i'm a culturally christian atheist (making a concious effort to not be *that* kind of atheist), but: when you refer to G-d as the creator of all things, you stress that that includes evil- but that, in so doing, G-d is not evil themself. now, I'm asking this with the express purpose of you correcting me, so: why does this G-d- as a G-d fundamentally distinct from the Christian conception of God as a Super-Mega-Ultra-Perfect God Who Can Do No Wrong Ever- create evil? i, personally, have been led to believe by @/spacelazarwolf that it is simply because G-d, too, makes mistakes just like any human being, but the way you worded it in this paragraph (which I've included as a screenshot below) had me interpret G-d creating evil as a concious, intentional action. did i just not read it correctly? and, if i didn't, then is the reason G-d creates evil part of this central struggle you went in detail into in the same paragraph, and as such, a very individual part of Jewish belief that no two jews agree on? and if that is so, would you be comfortable with sharing your version of it?

a few paragraphs after that one, you dedicated many words to make it absolutely crystal clear that, in the process of unlearning and combating jew-hatred in the society around me, i should, in spite of the vitriol that they propagate, love the former friends i lost to antisemitism. how- and *why* should i love the people who, on an early october 8th morning, actively celebrated the news of a massacre of Israeli civilians? who mocked- and still mock- the survivors and the families of hostages? who wield the memory of the holocaust as a baton against Jewish people's right to self defense? who deify terror groups who are up to their necks in atrocities? who make an active effort to spit on the face of *reality?* How could i possibly look at the face of a friend who chose allegiance to a terrorist group she did not even know existed four months ago over me- who she had actively interacted with for much longer?

would you rather we called ourselves "gentiles" or "goyim?" I've been calling myself a gentile for the longest time because i see jamming a word from a language i don't speak at all in an otherwise english sentence to be disrespectful and constitute appropriation, but you and other jumblr blogs have given me the impression that that is not the case. furthermore- i believe it was @/bambahalva who pointed out the usage of the word "gentile" in antisemitic segregation policies.

that is all- i hope this message finds you well. oh, yeah one more thing- what do you think of The Forward news network? i came across them by chance and next thing i knew I'd gotten into their newsletter.

WARNING: I HAVE FINISHED WRITING THIS AND IT'S LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND ALSO MORE JEWISH THAN I EXPECTED LOL! I have done the most Jewish possible thing I could do and answered all of your questions with questions. I'm sorrryyyyyy! This is what happens when you grow up surrounded by rabbis and future rabbis! LMAOO

Oooh! What a good ask! I love this ask. OK, so! Let's go in order.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words. And thanking you for backing your words with the action of prioritizing kindness over hatred. It matters. More than I can ever explain. Thank you.

You know, it's funny. People ask me a lot of questions about i/p that they think will have simple and straightforward answers that just don't. And I end up writing a lot of essays because of this. The questions you wrote me seem like they should be complex, but feel relatively straightforward to me.

Now, to your first bullet point: I don't know. I truly do not know. I think that G-d is fundamentally just...G-d, and in so being, G-d is truly unknowable to me. I think many Jews have many different interpretations on why G-d creates evil. I'm no rabbi, but one of my BFFs is and so is her mother and great grandfather. That doesn't give me any kind of authority. It just means I've spent a lot of time thinking about theological questions like this. As for my perspective, I'm a progressive/reform Jew, not a humanistic Jew. I do actually believe in G-d, but I vibe with the community philosophies of Humanistic Judaism a lot. So that's the perspective I'm coming from here:

I'm not a particular fan of the Book of Job, because I think it gets twisted and interpreted in Christian ways more than most Hebrew books and it can too easily be twisted into a "Don't question G-d, because G-d is perfect" narrative that I find to be fundamentally at odds with how I practice Judaism. Also, it's just a very sad story about how a good and kind man lost everything, and it makes me sad to think about. HOWEVER, that traditional "Don't question G-d" narrative is not how I learned to think about that book. The way I learned it, I believe the Book of Job describes this issue most explicitly. After Job loses everything he holds dear and talks to all his friends and begs again and again "Why? Why did G-d do this to me? Why would G-d do this to me when I'm a good person?" And basically G-d hears everyone answering for G-d with various reasons, "Maybe you were bad." "Maybe you should make an offering" Maybe this. Maybe that. And eventually G-d responds from within a storm (paraphrased of course) 'Why the fuck do you think it's your business to know? I made the whole universe! I made everything you see. I made the world that gave you your family in your first place. Why do you think you get to question my motives?'

The way I always interpreted that is: I don't fricking know! It's not really my business. What am I gonna do? Stop G-d? How does my knowing why G-d creates evil help anything? It doesn't mean we don't question G-d. It means we should instead focus on what we CAN control. I can't make 10/7/2023 not happen any more than I could stop The Holocaust or form an ocean. That's divine business, not human business. What I CAN do is make the world better now. What use is it challenging things that we cannot change? Things that are in the past? What's the point of asking why bad things happen when we can instead focus on stopping more bad things from happening. G-d named us his people when Abraham fought with G-d to stop the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham repeatedly asked, "But are you sure? But what if there are 100 good people? 50 good people? 10 good people?" And G-d kept responding, basically, 'I mean, there aren't. I know this cuz of how I'm G-d and know all the things. But knock yourself out looking.' My interpretation of this was that G-d doesn't get mad when we do our utmost to help our fellow human beings. G-d gets mad when we waste our energy that we could be using to help our fellow man to instead be angry and rage futilely against the past. I say this as someone with PTSD as someone who attempted to stop a tragedy from occuring and failed and can never understand why. What informs my trauma and what makes it so hard to get past isn't that G-d allowed it to happen. It's that people did. It's that I begged for help before it happened--over and over and over to dozens of adults in various positions of authority in order to prevent this terrible thing from happening (no, I will not now or ever disclose what that thing is). And all the people who could have helped failed me, and now two people are dead. Because someone did an evil, evil thing. And a bunch of other people let it happen. I'm not mad at G-d. I'm mad at people. And yet, I also know that hating people and finding reasons to dismiss them and despise them is what leads to more tragedies like that happening. So, despite my rage, truly the only thing to do is to love people. It's the only that helps. It's the only thing that repairs the world. It's the only thing that we can control. So, in short, my answer to "Why does G-d create evil?" is "Why should I spend my valuable time on earth trying to answer that question when, instead, I can spend that same exact amount of time asking millions of people, 'How can I help? What's wrong, and how can I help make any part of it better?'?" We don't need to understand G-d to make the world a better place. I'm fine leaving G-d stuff to G-d and spending my time on the human stuff.

Now, your second bullet point. Love their souls. You don't have to love what they've done. But they are human beings, as are we all. I think this can also easily be twisted into the Christian framework of "Hate the sin, love the sinner," but that's not what I mean at all. People's evil deeds are a part of them. They need to take responsibility. There is no divine absolution for crimes that people do unto each other in Judaism. If you harm a person, G-d cannot forgive you for that. Only the person or people you harmed can forgive you. And to a certain degree, we are all defined by our actions toward others. And so, no. I do not forgive the terrorists who woke up and decided to kill a bunch of Israelis and Israeli-adjacent humans. I do not forgive those who celebrate the deaths of Israelis because of some misguided sense of justice. I do not forgive the people who continue to send me hatred and death threats day after day after day after day. And I do not love the parts of them that did and do those horrible, unforgivable things. But my goodness. They were babies once. They either had parents who love(d) them, which is so sad, because they have this life of love and they chose instead to fill it with so much hate. Or they didn't have any parents or loved ones or anyone to guide them and, my goodness. That is so sad. How terrifying and alone that must feel. Maybe they have friends and family who love them and are instead wasting their precious time on this planet directing their energy at raging against me and 15 million other Jews they've never met. Or maybe they don't have anyone who loves them and they think that hating me and harming me will bring them some sense of purpose and joy. What a horrid way to live.

My Grandpa died last year. I have a wonderful family for whom I'm very grateful, and I even have good memories with my Grandpa. But he was not a good person. He came from an abusive home, and weaponized that abuse on his loved ones until he drove them all away. He was a narcissist. Not in the pop psychology sense. But in the actual clinical sense. He ruined every relationship that ever mattered to him--personal and professional. And in the end, because of his own actions, he died alone. He had pushed everyone so far (often with legal threats and action) that when he died, he laid on a slab for weeks because nobody could figure out who to call, because he had no one left. (For reference, Jewish burials are supposed to happen rather quickly and two weeks is...not good.) He was the only person in his generation who was not born in Israel--my family on his side has lived in Israel since looooong before even the British Mandate and he was the only person in his family born and raised in the US. As far as we can tell, the family on that side has been in Israel for as long as Jews have existed. He was religious. And while I've never been to Israel or met any of my family there, he did go. And he kept in touch with his relatives there before driving them away too. He was a wealthy man, but convinced himself that everyone only wanted him for his money and then decided to horde it instead. He left nothing to his children or to me. He left all his money in an endowment to his university--a place that uses that money to fund anti-Israel organizations now. He died alone, without his family that lived nearby, and with a legacy that will now cause active harm to the family that lived far away. He could have died surrounded by the loved ones from around the world who wanted nothing more than to be near him and loved by him. His story is a tragedy. The story of every person who chooses hatred over love is a tragedy. The story of someone who woke up and chose to murder others or to delight in the death of others is a tragedy. I love the soul in the center of these people. I loved my grandfather. I could not be around him. I cannot forgive some of the things he said and did. But I love the person he could have been. I love the part of him that gave me some good memories. I love the family he gave to me.

No, we do not all need to love or forgive those who have wronged us or terrorized us or murdered our loved ones. But that is different from mourning a human soul. From loving the potential of a human soul to do good in the world, and mourning the loss of that soul and its potential. Every human being--every single one no matter what they have done in their lives--has the potential to create goodness and make the world a better place. Every moment of every single day is a new chance to meet that challenge and do our best. Sure, not all of us have it in us to try our best every single moment. Sometimes life is hard and we're sad and tired and hungry and angry. And that's ok, because we have tomorrow, and an hour from now, and a minute from now. But the moment someone chooses to take action and decides that action should be to cause another harm or celebrate the harm that was caused? That's a tragedy. And when a life is extinguished, that is a life that loses its potential to try again and do better. We shouldn't love people because we deem them worthy of love. We should love people because they are people. And so are we. And how wonderful is that? I could choose to hate them. It would be so easy! But why should I do that? What do I gain? What do they gain? And isn't it so wonderful that I chose to love instead? And isn't it so wonderful that you can, too?

As for your final bullet point: I have no preference. I say goyim cuz it's easier for me. Goy/gentile/non-Jew are all fine to me. I have some icky feelings about the word gentile for a variety of linguistic reasons I won't bore you with. But some other people don't like when non-Jews appropriate Yiddish words. Others (including me) find it wonderful when non-Jews call themselves goyim. All my closest non-Jewish people call themselves goyim, including my sister! Non-jew is the most neutral in English and least likely to offend anyone. But it still separates Jews as an other whereas "goy" is a way to distinguishing yourself from Jews while also being an acknowledgment of our culture. As far as I'm concerned as long as a goy is being a goy (ally, positive) rather than a goy (derogatory) I don't mind that they call themselves goyim. LOL! Idk, friend. Do what makes you happy! What do you prefer?!

Regarding The Forward news network: They are a reliable Left-Center source with a high credibility and reporting rating and only one failed fact check in the past five years for which they issued a correction. I would consider them a reliable source. They cover legitimate issues of people who support Palestinan self-determination ostensibly being punished for their stances. They publish Op-eds critical of Netanyahu, who is terrible. And they address how antisemitism is harming diaspora Jews. They seem to consistently emphasize the humanity of everyone, which you can tell based on the rest of my post is very important to me, but they also avoid over-editorializing on news that is not in the Op-Ed section. I'll never endorse any source as perfect or guaranteed to be free of problems or harm or bad takes, but they do seem to make a genuine effort to be factual, clear, and wholly truthful. Note: I highly recommend that everyone installs the Media Bias/Fact Check extension on their web browsers. Get in the habit of checking and evaluating sources critically. It's a skill that will serve you your whole life.

@clawdia-houyhnhnm I hope this helps. And thank you for your thoughtful ask and commitment to intercultural understanding. <3

#ask me stuff #clawdia-houyhnhnm #leftist antisemitism #antisemitism #jewish muslim solidarity #jewish goyim solidarity #Judaism #jewish culture #jumblr #how to help #allyship #media literacy

[feelbokkie]

Sorry, Right Number | Chapter 15

pairing: idol!Chan x fem reader

genre: smau, crack, angst, fluff,strangers to lovers, pen pals/hidden identity, forbidden love, celebrity romance

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: swearing, mention of food.

summary: Being an idol can be lonely and isolating. After one fun and adventurous night at a bar, Chan decides to text the girl he met the night before. Except, she gave him the the wrong number?

word count: 1,538

screenshot count: 2

taglist: closed

a/n: buckle up babes, shit is hitting the fan

previous | masterlist | next

©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

You walk out of Sugar Bliss and stretch as the midday sun hits your face. You contemplate getting something to eat now or just make yourself something simple when you get home. You worked a full shift today with two hours of overtime as you covered for one of your coworkers. With how busy the shop was, you had to work through your lunch, only surviving on snacks and water all day. You were also exhausted, having woken up at 1:30 a.m. so you could have enough time to get ready and make it to the bus stop for your 3 a.m. shift. You hated the opening shift at the bakery solely because of how early you had to wake up, but you loved the idea of being done with your day before noon.

"L/n Y/n?" An unfamiliar voice calls. You spin around, trying to figure out who called you. You're met face to face with a woman and a slightly taller man. You vaguely recognize the man as the one who gave you the VIP passes when you went to pick them up from the JYPE building all those months ago.

"Yes?" You ask hesitantly, not entirely sure what they could want with you.

"We're representatives from JYP Entertainment and we would like you to come with us. Your presence is requested at the company." The woman speaks, handing you a business card to prove her legitimacy.

"Right now? Can't I just schedule--"

"With all due respect, Miss Y/n, with your involvement with one of our idols, it's best if we handle this as quickly as possible.

Handle. You've watched enough dramas to know where this is heading. But you were hoping that it was all fake. You were dating Chan for nearly a month with no issue, and suddenly, you're being called to his company where they will probably force you to break up with him.

"But--"

"It'll be a quick meeting. We'll even escort you home in one of the company cars." The man interjects.

You know you should say no. That you should just go home and talk to Chan about it. But you also know if you do just that, it's only going to cause more problems for you and Chan. You sigh and reluctantly follow them to their car. You slide your phone out of your pocket to send a quick text to Chan about you being summoned to the company and that you're on your way there now. Just as you're about to press send, your phone screen goes black, dying before you can tell anyone where you are going.

"Shit," you mutter under your breath.

***

It was not a short meeting at all. As far as you're concerned, there is no meeting. You're fully convinced that they brought you to the JYPE building just to torture you into breaking up with Chan. You've been sitting in the waiting room for 2 hours waiting to go into this mystery meeting. You are hungry, tired, and desperately need to use the bathroom. Any time you told the staff member who was made to wait with you, they would tell you that "they would be with you momentarily." You don't even know who they are. You're not even entirely sure they exist. They could be some fictional higher-ups created just for psychological warfare.

"Y/n?" Your head snaps up at Minho's familiar voice. He makes direct eye contact with you as Felix and Hyunjin trail behind him.

"Oh, thank god," You mumble. You're so relieved that you could cry.

"What are you doing here?" Hyunjin asks.

"Ask her. I was taken here right after work like 2 hours ago and I'm tired and hungry, and if someone doesn't let me use a bathroom soon, it's going to be embarrassing for everyone." You say loudly, your staff member guard not looking up from their phone.

"Does Chan hyung know you're here?" Felix asks, giving you a reassuring hug.

"No, my phone died before I could even tell him. And my roommates are probably freaking out because I told them I was on my way home."

“That’s ridiculous, hold on,” Minho leaves the three of you and goes to the front desk.

You watch and Felix digs around in his bag and pulls out a packet of cheese crackers. He hands it to you along with one of his extra water bottles. Hyunjin, on the other hand, pulls out his phone and immediately goes to call Chan.

You quickly eat the snack and drink the water Felix gave you. By the time you finish, Minho is back and Hyunjin is putting away his phone.

“They said they’re going to get you in a second. Did you get Chan hyung?” He asks Hyunjin.

“No, he didn’t pick up. But Jisung said that he’s here working. I was just about to go get him right now.” Hyunjin explains.

“I’ll go. I’m faster than you.” Minho says, dropping his backpack down and sprinting to the stairs.

“I don’t like this.” You murmur.

“It’s sketchy as hell. But it’s okay. Chan hyung isn’t going to let anything happen.” Felix reassures you.

“Miss L/n Y/n?” You are called by the front desk person. You hug both Felix and Hyunjin before going where you’re called.

~

“Excuse me?” You ask in disbelief.

You are currently sitting in the office of one of the lower-level executives of JYPE. You knew this had to be the reason why you were called in. To be sat down and talked about your relationship with Chan. You knew this conversation would happen eventually and that you two would have to go to the company with your relationship.

“Look, Miss Y/n, we looked into your background and found a few concerning things. That fact that you have been a fan of Stray Kids for years and even moved to the city where they live and where their company is located is already a red flag. But now you’re dating the leader of the group. We found your fan account and some concerning statements made. I would be surprised if you weren’t a sasaeng.” The executive leans back into his chair and crosses his arms.

“Look, I was a fan girl who ran a fan page. Most of us say unhinged things all the time time but we’re never going to act on it. Plus, if you did your research you’d see that I haven’t been active since the concert when I found out I was talking to Chan. And if I was a sasaeng, an emphasis on the if before you think I’m confessing to anything, wouldn’t it make sense if I were to go after my bias and not my wrecker?” You sit up in your chair, hands gripping your knees as you try to calm down a bit.

“I don’t care about that, Miss Y/n. What I care about is the image of our idols. And right now, our image of Bang Chan and the rest of the group relies on your next answer. We already have several pictures of you and Chan together. Most of them are from our staff members but a few of them were intercepted from fans who merely thought they saw Chan. Now we’re ready to prepare with three options.” He sets a few of the phones down in front of you. You recognize all of the pictures, especially the one from the Folk village when the two and Chan first started dating.

“No,” You say simply.

“At least hear the options.” He sits up a bit straighter in his seat.

“No,”

“Either break up with Chan. Leave chan for an agreed upon amount of money. Or you continue to date Chan but we have full monopoly over the relationship.” He says sternly.

“With all due disrespect, those are all bullshit options.” You spit back.

“Then we have to take the fourth option.”

“You said there were three.”

“That’s because I didn’t think you’d be selfish enough for me to consider the fourth path. Which is we put Chan on indefinite hiatus and the longer your little relationship goes on, the more likely we’re going to have to eventually terminate his contract with the company. Do you really think the rest of his group could survive without him? Do you truly want to single-handedly be the reason why Stray Kids disbands?” You stop breathing the everything in the room starts moving in slow motion. He doesn’t have the power to do that. Right? Every fiber in your being is telling you to argue back. But another, more terrified part of yourself is telling you to comply to avoid messing with his future that he's worked so hard for.

“You can’t do that!” You cry out, tears welling in the back of your eyes.

“Yes, I can,”

“No…he…can’t…” Chan says, suddenly appearing in the room panting.

“Chan, please wait outside.”

“No, this meeting is over. Y/n, let’s go,” Chan walks over to you and takes your hand in his, “And I will be talking to President JYP about this. So enjoy your job while you still have it.”

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Taglist; closed

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@ventusnonexpectat @kibs-and-bits @sanriiolino @majorlymismanaged @s00buwu @badgergirlsblog @rag-iii @lanatheawesome @143lix @jaiuneamesolitaiire @veedoesntknaur @brain-empty-only-draken @jaydebow @allaboutyej8 @skz-streamer @weird-bookworm @spearb-99 @marked-unknown @thesassy-mia @kalopsian-thoughts @gruszkasmierci @aslou @chlodavids @greyyeti @thepeopleintheback @hanjiies @jihanniee @skzhoes @imsiriuslyreal @amyysfics

#feelbokkie writes #Sorry right number smau #stray kids #skz #stray kids smau #skz smau #chan #bangchan #bang chan #lee know #minho #lee minho #changbin #seo changbin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #han #jisung #han jisung #felix #yongbok #lee felix #lee yongbok #lee felix yongbok #seungmin #kim seungmin #i.n #jeongin #chan smau

[many-but-one]

Hey! Why did I split over something not even THAT traumatic??

I'm here to tell you. :)

So, this particular discussion has come up in our system server before and it's actually something I've wanted to talk about for a long time on Tumblr because I've never actually seen someone talk about this, and I am being hit with a sudden god-like hubris at 3 in the morning, so here we go!

So your question was "Why did I just split? What just happened wasn't even that traumatic. I've been through so much worse in the past, I don't even feel that stressed. What the hell? Am I just making this new part up?" and on and on. The idea that only the most awful and traumatic things are what cause splits in DID (especially later in life, after the childhood trauma window of 7-9ish has ended and especially in adulthood) is actually incredibly false, and I am about to explain why.

Note: This is about traumagenic DID systems, so endogenic systems, please stay off of this post thank you. :) /not mad

Note number two: I do want to get out of the way, that all parts DO split for a reason, there's no parts that exist for no reason (even if the reason doesn't seem relevant to you now, it may have been relevant at the time of the split, OR may have been somehow relevant to your brain even if it doesn't make sense to you now.) So I want to make it really clear that splits do not occur only because of hyperfixations. There typically has to be something going on for a split to occur, and hyperfixation alone will not cut it. Alright, now that I've got that out of the way, let's talk about how DID brains run on patterns.

DID brains run on patterns, like I said. All brains do, actually, but DID brains take it to an nth degree because these patterns that it learns are what help it stay alive in a distressing and traumatic environment during childhood. Our brains are remarkably plastic and they will do whatever is necessary to survive a given situation. It's why something like DID can even exist.

So what kind of patterns do we typically see in brains with DID? Well, the easiest one is that a lot of people with DID have pretty similar alter "types" or "roles." This is just a widespread pattern that you see across a large demographic of systems. It's why terms like "gatekeeper" and "protector" and "caretaker" exist. Because nearly all DID systems have parts that fill those roles, even if those roles aren't filled in the most "traditional" sense. DID is rarely random, every part exists for an express reason, and that reason is almost always symbolic in some way, even if it doesn't seem like it now. Once you start learning trauma memories and WHY parts exist, you very quickly start to see the symbolism and sometimes it is absolutely fucking terrifying, to say the least.

What other patterns are common?

Well, patterns we see in our own system and in other systems are something quite literally called "splitting patterns" which are more common in polyfragmented systems but not exclusive to them. This has various ways of showing itself, and the user @foreverfragmented made a post awhile back that I'm having a really hard time finding, HOWEVER I did screenshot the section about splitting patterns when I first read it, attached below:

Wow that photo ended up bigger than I thought it would be. lol. Anyway. Those are another example of splitting patterns. (Note: in the original post, FF talks about how some of the terms above were coined by them or other systems, so not recognized medically, however I think they were worded perfectly which is why I shared them here.)

Another few examples include alter templates (AKA, splitting the same alter over and over in varying iterations), the same parts going out for the same types of trauma every single time, and why certain alter roles very often have the same "flavor" of personality.

For example, gatekeepers are often considered a bit cold and distant, and can be very analytically minded and rarely react purely on emotion alone. (I feel like the most common gatekeeper Myers-Briggs has gotta be INTJ...that was a joke, lmao.) This is typically for a reason. You have to have a certain mindset and a certain way of handling things to be able to properly manage a system. And this is not to say all gatekeepers are this way, but the pattern of a LOT of gatekeepers being like this is not unnoticed. Our DID specialist could tell pretty early on that our primary gatekeeper (James) was a gatekeeper long before he ever told her he was simply because of how he held himself, how he spoke about others in the system, and how much he despised her for "stepping on his toes"😂 They work together much better now, FYI, but it was rough in the beginning.

An example of alter templates in our system in particular is what we call the "Michaels." They were some of our earliest alters, and our brain was like "hey this guy is working really well, so I'm just gonna keep doing it." And it worked! Then, when trauma shifted to something completely different but in the same vein (CSA) our brain once again attempted to use this "Michael" template. It didn't work quite the same. And so our brain had to figure out these new patterns, which it was fucking desperate to do because we were going through some heinous shit that it could hardly even comprehend. I've learned that basically every blue-eyed white-haired motherfucker in here was a Michael copy at one point, but had elaborated into some other version that suited its job more.

Now, for the example that is going to actually help me explain the answer to the question posed at the very beginning of this post: alters who go out for the same things over and over.

So, depending on splitting tolerance, or whatever you happen to be going through in your childhood, you will likely have various "groups" of alters that handle certain things. If you had a particularly tumultuous childhood with several varying types of traumas, you will probably have several of these groups. And depending on length of trauma time, severity of trauma time, and levels of support during trauma time, these groups may be very large.

For example, if you had a situation like domestic violence (DV) happening in your household, you will have a part or parts dedicated just for DV, and if you also had CSA going on, you will have a separate group of parts (or a single part) who handles only the CSA. Unless your system is quite small and you have alters take multiple types of abuses, this is pretty commonly the case. [Note: want to say this is not subsystems unless these groups are highly separated via either amnesia barriers or inner world (IW) barriers, and have better communication with each other versus the rest of the system. The definition of subsystem gets a little funky, but we're not talking about that. Just wanted to make that clear. You can have groups of alters without them being subsystems.]

"Okay, so yeah, you're right. I have alter groups for [insert various traumas] what does that have to do with me splitting over [insert mundane thing that isn't even really traumatic]?"

Continuing on the "DID brains run on patterns" line of thinking, if your brain has patterns set and understood for the various traumas that you lived through in your childhood, usually up until teen years or adulthood, your brain knows what to do when those traumas occur again. The patterns are set. It's why it's super common for people with DID who experience SA in teen or adult years and don't end up having a split. Unless they have an extremely low splitting tolerance or the situation is extremely unique, the brain will just recycle what it already has. No need to go through the literally massively painful and traumatic experience of splitting again for something it already knows how to handle. This being said, the part that experiences this might end up splitting at a much later date if this trauma is far too difficult for it to handle, this is also common because sometimes it's "easy" to handle the trauma in the moment because they're used to this flavor of trauma but the processing of said trauma afterward can be just as traumatic and can cause a split.

Same if your father was super abusive to your mother, or vise versa, and you happen to have an abusive partner. That pattern is known and comfortable. That's what professionals mean by "DID systems are more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators." They return to the comfortable patterns, which, with DID, equals abuse. Things outside of those patterns are dangerous and confusing to navigate and the brain will avoid that at all costs.

However, and this is the answer to the question. What happens when something happens that the brain doesn't recognize in its "pattern database"? I'll give an example.

Say you were very high achieving in school. This is pretty common of systems who were diagnosed in adulthood, so far as I've seen. You likely did really well, had really high marks because your parents expected it of you or were abusive and angry if you didn't constantly constantly succeed in their eyes. This can also reflect in sports, clubs, musical talents, etc. This pattern continues on in adulthood. You push yourself very hard to be high achieving. Whether this be in a college setting, a work setting, etc. You are likely often doing well in those fields pre-system discovery, at least. Post discovery often leads to the "spiraling" phase, which sucks but again that's not what we're discussing.

So, say you have a job. You're hella good at it. You are always receiving praise, you are always getting raises, your reviews are always hella good. You're like "okay yeah, I'm good at this job, so I'm going to apply to a higher paid position in the company that just opened up."

And then...you don't get the job. Well, that sucks. Better luck next time, right?

Wrong. Well, not entirely. That's completely true. But that's not how your brain is actually processing this, is it?

You might tell yourself "oh well" but in your high achieving brain's POV, it's like "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???? WE DON'T DO THE FAILURE STUFF!!! WHAT THE F***!!!" And it might panic, and several alters might panic, and the host might panic, and suddenly they're spiraling out of control over something that is mildly disappointing at best. Because WE DON'T HAVE A GUY FOR THIS?! We have a guy for SA, we have a guy for DV, we have a guy for medical trauma, we have a guy for bullying, etc. But we don't have a guy for REJECTION?! AHHH! [splits a part just to handle rejection.]

In adulthood, I've noticed both in myself and other systems I frequently speak to, these highly specialized parts are more commonly split in adulthood. Because while patterns are super helpful in childhood when you're experiencing the generally same shit over and over, in adulthood or even late teen years, there's so many effing unknowns that the brain is just like "what the actual fuck is this, this doesn't follow the fucking SCRIPT you guys. The PATTERNS?? Do they mean nothing to you??"

DID is a disorder that is incredibly helpful for survival in childhood and is an absolutely miserable crutch to live with in adulthood. And that's not me saying it super sucks all the time, but the disorder is not meant to happen, it shouldn't have happened, and coping with it without therapy and proper integration of parts and memories just makes adulthood kind of a hellscape, to be frank. There are tons of positives, I am so thankful, don't get me wrong. But there are a lot of downsides too.

So, to kind of drive home some examples of things that can cause a split that might not even be inherently traumatic based on my own experience and the experiences of some folks in our system server:

-(TW: mild NSFW in this one) We had our first consensual sexual experience when we were 19. We didn't have a guy for that. Everything we'd ever experienced throughout our childhood and teen years was not consensual. So when we were having consensual sex with our girlfriend, we were losing our mind because we didn't have this pattern integrated. So we split a guy whose literal only job was "consensual sex" and he was pretty much made to be the "perfect partner" for our girlfriend.

-We have a part whose only job is to play video games. We didn't know why until we realized he was fronting during stressful family gatherings and was playing videogames to pass the time until they were allowed to leave.

-We have a part that split only to handle our irrational fear of getting sick with a deadly illness right around COVID lockdown time.

-We had a part split just to internalize the feeling of "going to hell" due to our religious beliefs at the time.

-We have a lot of parts that split just to hold feelings of anger, sadness, or fear, even in adulthood. This is common in situations where anger or showing emotions was not allowed in childhood, so if the brain decides that's not allowed, when a part gets overly angry they might split a part to hold that anger, which then typically gets buried deep down.

Note about the above example: Trauma therapists often say that anger is one of the last emotions processed when processing traumatic events. Which is why "anger holding alters" are so so so fucking common. Kids and teens and adults get angry and if that's not allowed in some way shape or form, the brain will suppress it. It's also why it's common for people with DID to be able to "turn off" emotions or if triggered, will have a sudden intense burst of emotions (typically anger or frustration) because of how intensely repressed emotions often have to be just to survive living in a toxic environment that would cause something like DID. When you were a kid, you couldn't cry in front of your parents because you would be ridiculed or punished. So you will "turn it off" and go hide to cry later. But if, as an adult, you never let yourself "go cry later," that shit will build up and cause those intense emotional breakdowns, even after something that's considerably smaller scale than what you're used to. Kind of considered the "straw that broke the camel's back." You can be having a shit week with horrible thing after horrible thing and you're doing really well at "shutting it off" especially when around others, because god forbid you let the mask fall, and then suddenly you can't open a cheese stick or you can't find your keys so you might be late, or there's a stain on your shirt right before work, or the entire contents of your bag get dumped onto the floor of your car because you had to brake too hard...and that's when the breakdown happens.

Anyway, to get back on track, there are probably a plethora of other ways a system could split that seem mundane or "not that traumatizing" or alter roles might be super hyper-specific and the reasoning for that is because ✨patterns✨ We love to see it. /sar

Hope this was helpful! If you have further questions, feel free to hit up the ask box or the replies. :)

-Dori🌹

(Again, endos please don't interact, this is not for you. This is for the folks whose DID was caused via childhood trauma. These patterns likely would not exist in someone whose system didn't form from repeated traumas.)

#dorian🌹 #advice #did #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #actually did #traumatized #actually traumatized #traumagenic did #endos dni #did alters #did therapy #did system #our brains are like supercomputers and I'm not even kidding #once it understands a pattern #it will quickly assimilate that pattern if the pattern continues to occur #DID brains are freaking incredible #also terrifying

[fanartka]

can you tag your mid ass AI art so nobody gotta look at that crap thanks 🌹

My answer is "No."

And this is the line beyond which my patience finally ceases to be patient.

@docty-strange If you can't see beauty, then maybe you shouldn't force your radical opinion on those who don't need it.

AI is a tool with which a person can translate his ideas, his thoughts from words into an image, a way for an artist to create something in a style different from his own and sometimes adopt an idea, a well-generated fold of a patterned garment or something similar to use already in what he draws with his own hands.

This is not an enemy, not a devil, it is not even intelligence, it is a tool, like Photoshop and other programs, including programs that people use to improve the quality of screenshots and photos, by the way.

I am old enough to remember heated discussions about the idea that digital artists are not real artists, but just hacks. And although I'm not old enough to remember the Luddites, I'm sure they had very similar rhetoric when they broke machines that only improved people's lives.

Every time something new appears, most people perceive it as a threat. There are still people who blame smartphones and computers for all human ills, just as a few centuries ago fanatics believed that the devil sat in the clock and turned the mechanism. I think our ancestors, who first began to use sharpened stones instead of fists, were also perceived as something strange and threatening. But this is just progress.

The world is changing. AI isn't perfect, it has a problem with human fingers and there are some legal issues that need to be ironed out, but this thing allows people to create beauty that wouldn't otherwise exist. AI helps in scientific calculations, including medical calculations, and much more.

Oh, and thank god I don't have to buy marble, hire a sculptor, and figure out where to find space for a Strange statue in my apartment, because I can see what such a statue would look like with the help of AI.

But pestering other people with all sorts of nasty things and demanding that they do as you would like is unacceptable. Seriously, when haters come to my inbox, most of them are homophobes who claim that Stephen would never love a guy and demand that I stop disgracing him, or with statements like that.

AI can make beauty, but you can only produce hatred and bother people with your demands. If you don't like it, don't watch it. That's how the Internet works.

Take it back 🌹 You know what to do with it.

#anti anti ai #ai art #beautiful ai #anti ai #doctor strange #stephen strange #doctor stephen strange #marvel #benedict cumberbatch #ai #ai ironman #ironman #dr strange #ai craft #ai painting #beauty

[mcytblrsexymen]

Highlights from the Data Crunch Group Chat pt 2.

[ID: Screenshot reading Ethoslab but on a catgirl gf sort of way]

[ID: screenshot reading Can i say GoodTimesWithScar again (he was my bisexual awakening i wish I was joking)]

[ID: Screenshot reading xbcrafted. if not sexy then why giggle 🤨]

[ID: screenshot reading Dl pearl my beloved pearl, idk bdubs i guess]

[ID: screenshot reading tangotek yayayay bald hussy]

[ID: screenshot reading who are we to deny the carnal appeal of joe hills from nashville tennessee]

[ID: Screenshot reading please for the love of god cyberknife]

[ID: screenshot reading Love me some men in steampunk getup, what can I say.]

[ID: Screenshot reading If you put xisuma on the list i will literally punch you through a screen shit man is BITCHLESS!!!!!!!]

[ID: screenshot reading Zedaph as a rock, Zedaph as a cow]

[ID: Screenshot reading Groan hermitcraft]

[ID: screenshot reading Damp Wilbur Soot]

[ID: Screenshot reading Wilbur soot but in those events he put on where he plays god]

[ID: screenshot reading Hermitcraft S7 Xisuma - specifically StriderSuma]

[ID: Screenshot reading Hermitcraft (Life series)]

[ID: screenshot reading parkour tag (mcc) (misspelled it as fag by accident oh god thank goodness for autocorrect however it would have been a little funny]

[ID: screenshot reading Mayor FalseSymmetry of Cogsmeade. Wel love  girl covered in blood]

[ID: screenshot reading Surprise! its ZombeCleo again! but the s8 hydra8 outfit version when she commmitted to the bit of training keralis and suggested cheating as a valid method]

[ID: screenshot reading Goodtimeswithscar. this is the gtws sexy website, Im obliged]

[ID: screenshot reading Pilriffs. cant stop thinking about the ‘please guys youre drawing me too sexy’]

[ID: screenshot reading Hermitcraft S9 bdubs (i know that moss cloak is hiding those abs)]

[ID: screenshot reading S9 mumbo (we have a movie that didn’t exist, a sexyman with no body, now a sexyman who barely exists)]

[ID: screenshot reading Grain (Grian)]

[ID: screenshot reading bdubs when he is putting someone corrupt into power (hc 7 or 9)]

[ID: screenshot reading Eddie Empires SMP pretty please that’s all]

#Data Crunch Group Chat

[valentineish]

What I need abled people to realize is how fucked up it is to ask strangers about our mobility devices or medical equipment. I especially need you to internalize is how much this functions like catcalling.

The harassment started the minute an abled decided to approach me. There was not an appropriate way for them to ask about my body and the equipment it needs. But because of their actions, I am given the job of figuring out what's more dangerous: disclosing intimate details about my life, health, and body, or pushing back.

Without fail, ableds get hostile when a cripple like me chooses the latter. There is outrage at even the most polite expression of "no thank you". Trying to express how they've violated me isn't even an option. I am already aggressive for not performing an impossible standard of grace.

And because of this stranger's choice, because of the power dynamics at play, my existence suddenly centers on a stranger. My life needs to go on pause to handhold a totally unknown abled's feelings about my hurt they caused. All the while, I still have to brace for the potential that they will overpower me, or steal my equipment, or try to institutionalize me.

This is a terrifying position to be in. And it happens so frequently, my stomach drops whenever a stranger approaches me.

There are no neutral questions you can ask about a stranger's body – and my equipment is part of my body. This is not small talk. This is not considerate or empathetic. Despite how it looks to you, these are not like comments on somebody's outfit.

Hearing any inquiry about my crutches or limp or whatever from somebody I don't know is invasive and creepy. It's like somebody asking you "what did you do to become left handed?" or "did you always smile like... that?" or "oh my god, why do you have glasses?", then being expected to give an in-depth answer. It fucking sucks, and for disabled people, it has broader implications than you can imagine.

If you want to know why that person you spotted needs medical equipment? Tough. Shut the fuck up, mind your goddamn business.

EDIT: I want to include an ask I got about this post so it doesn't get lost in a reblog. Screenshot and expansion will be under the cut.

Anon was right to point this out! I would like to better clarify the point I was trying to make.

I chose people commenting on somebody's smile, dominant hand, or eyewear on purpose. Expression can be impacted by things like facial paralysis or even neurodivergence. Paralysis or amputation can require changing one's dominant hand. And despite their normalization, prescription glasses are medical equipment.

Ablebodied people can get comments on these things. Some people just have distinctive expressions. People can be naturally left-handed (and notably, punishing left hand dominance was the standard for generations). Non-prescription glasses were a huge trend in the 2010's. Similarly, ablebodied people can temporarily require mobility aids! You or someone you've known has likely needed a cast or crutches due to an injury.

Strangers approaching an ablebodied person about these things is still bad. It's inappropriate, and the kind of thing you'd vent to friends about for being uncomfortable. Still, answering typically won't require sharing extremely personal, potentially traumatic information. It does not carry the fear of stating "my body is like this forever for a reason scary or inhuman to you".

When these questions are directed towards a disabled person, though? It does carry those heavy implications. We are being put at risk. A stranger is asking us to divulge our ability status, and give them wildly personal history. Furthermore, it confirms us as disabled – thus putting us at risk for discrimination of varying levels of severity, including institutionalization.

My point in making that comparison was not "people don't say those things". Strangers absolutely do this. My point was "comments about medical equipment count as body commentary". My crutches or bifocald do not get treated like the extensions of myself they are. The severity of this harassment, then, does not translate to those who don't need such accommodations.

Questioning somebody's body or the things supporting that body is never a good idea. Whether abled or disabled, a stranger is bothering that person simply to sate their own curiosity. Nothing of substance can be gained – but everything is at risk for disabled people.

#open mic night #disability #disability pride #cripple punk #chronic illness #ableism

[centrally-unplanned]

Those hip to the Ash Lore might remember me trying and failing to extract something from the FLCL Collectors Disc:

Namely, a collection of screensavers - we in the 2000's boys - that came with the disc. Everything else is pretty easy to pull, but screensavers are OS-based, these were built for a 2002-era Japanese version of Windows, which is not the easiest thing to emulate these days! My attempts to do so failed.

But the Power of the Internet cannot be so easily deterred; yesterday after posting about the abandoned fanwork FLCL fighting game, god-tier hero of the internet @m-accost messaged me that it reminded them of the CD, and being the coder I am not they were able to extract the data from the .exe directly. That revealed that its actually an SWF aka Flash file, which you can just emulate with any of the extant flash players, no Japanese OS bullshit required. So they did, and now you can play the screensavers from your browser right from the Internet Archive!

Discovering the images would have been nice but honestly a bit useless - as I had guessed, its all screenshots from the show. But extracted as screensavers, they have really cool transitions, music from The Pillows Soundtrack, and fun coloring effects. The coolest are absolutely VESPA.exe, which has a chaotic tiling effect:

And MANGA.exe recreated the 'moving manga' style sequence from the show. Ironically, GIRLS.exe is the *most* boring - cashing in on the name on that one GAINAX.

Making such things accessible is of course an exceedingly tiny win, but A: any Lost Media found is good, and this was pseudo-lost media due to its inaccessibility; and B: these kind of things were way more valuable in their original context. The internet in 2002 did not have readily accessible dumps of every frame of the show, gifs of key sequences, easy downloads of whole episodes, every promotional image digitized, etc. Some of it existed in some form for savvy users, but the median person would not ever transition an episode of TV to their computer at all. As such, recreations of things like the ending credits and the moving manga sequence, even in this very different form, was for some people the most accessible way they had to put a piece of media they loved on their computer. For someone somewhere this CD was a big deal in 2002, and its great to be able to see what they saw in it.

Also fucking screensavers man, just an amazing relic of computer tech. Gotta prevent burn-in of the pixels on your cathode ray tube monitor! And if you are doing that with HARUKO.exe you have won at life.

(tagged @flclarchives since I think you will be interested in this, and ofc @m-accost thank you for the amazing work, I am just the reporter on this one)

#flcl #anime history archiving work

[bengiyo]

Hey there!

I've seen a bunch of peeps echoing your thoughts on the KH adaptation, like how it's kinda "Japanese" and might be hard to transfer. Can you talk about what exactly gives KH that "Japanese" vibe? I've checked out some JBLs, but my memory of KH is lowkey foggy. Or if you've talked about this before elsewhere, can you drop the link pls? (btw, loving your stray thoughts posts – they're a life saver keeping up with all the BLs. Thanks!)

I'm trying to find a useful way to describe this. Japanese live-action media still hearkens back to a stage tradition, and as such you need to widen your eye to appreciate what's going on.

Close-Ups

I think Westerners watching Asian media rely heavily on close-ups of actors doing things to read their emotions in a scene, and that's not always where the most important stuff is happening in a Japanese drama.

I'm struggling with the gif search, but this shot above is a good example of that stage tradition. Hashimoto was feeling embarrassed at this moment and wanted to leave, so she literally exists stage right. The Japanese also love depth of frame. We see Aida as the barrier she has to cross to leave in the foreground, and we can see that life is still going on in the background.

I think a lot of us in the West rely on close ups like this to read characters from any given moment, and you see this reflected in what gets giffed and what doesn't. Michieda Shunsuke has incredibly large and expressive facial features, and he exaggerates them constantly to play up the hyperreal aspects of Aoki, which is another staple of these kinds of Japanese stories.

You got a lot of this in Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss! as well.

I'm struggling right now because I don't feel like fighting Viki and God Himself to get screenshots of the wider shots in the show, but the wider shots allow for us to get information about multiple characters and the dynamics between them quickly.

Thematic Focus

Another thing that Japanese dramas have that sticks out for me is focus. Because filming in Japan is expensive, most of their comedies of any sort are in a half-hour time slot, a lot like US comedies. You have to use your time wisely, and so there's far less mission creep to create an in-show ad for juice or to insert or expand side characters to try out other pitches that didn't make the cut for the whole show.

The entire focus of Kieta Hatsukoi's TV Asahi adaptation focuses on the complications around the confused romances between Aoki, Hashimoto, Ida, and Aida. We spend time with Aoki's disaster bi revelation, his and Hashimoto's cowardice in romance, and Ida's demisexual discovery. We cover a lot of ground in 10 short episodes that Thailand media won't in 12 long episodes.

As a result, the pacing overall tends to be extremely consistent and you're rarely asking yourself why a narrative beat is happening. Because this show is about two characters having a queer awakening, we get interactions across age groups about what it means for these boys to be Known Queers in their community and see them deal with that.

Emotional Communication

One of the other things that feels distinctly Japanese is the ways characters will communicate their feelings to each other. Sometimes there's a stoic layer coming from male characters who won't express themselves because they think their actions are making it clear, and then another character will come through to challenge their presumptions about what has been done and what hasn't been said.

One of my favorite moments is in episode 9 when Aoki gets frustrated that Ida doesn't seem to be straining under hormonal urges the way he is, which lands well because the audience and Ida knows that Aoki is struggling with those urges.

Some of this could come down to translation issues and the things that are presumed in Thai that don't always make it specifically onto the screen, but oftentimes I find that Thai characters are having a big confrontation about the wrong issue that misses the core fight, and then that gets resolved as if it was the core disconnect.

Those are just some of my thoughts firing from the hip. The vibe felt off in the trailer we saw yesterday and it left me feeling deeply uninspired. I'm hoping that as they work on the script and preparations for the roles the Thai version will be solid, but adaptations don't always work.

#answered #gmmtv 2024 #japanese bl #thai bl #kieta hatsukoi #my love mix up

[whumpshaped]

anon thank u i was halfway thru this when u sent it and i was thinking 'this would fit kinda well w the master prompt' (and i cant copy paste easily on phone hence the screenshot)

masterlist bingo card

tw vampire whumper, multiple whumpers, mind control, possessive whumper, almost kidnapped, murder

Beck couldn't explain it. He felt an absolutely overwhelming urge to go in the opposite direction to where his car was parked, right into the alley where Helle had reprimanded him for working overtime. He had no reason to go there except this weird gut feeling, this unreasonable need. He had to go. He had to be there.

"You'll do nicely," the man said in a low voice, and Beck was immediately drawn to him. Right, of course. He knew this man.

Master.

He wasn't even fully there when he dropped his bag and slid his coat down a little, then tugged the collar of his turleneck down. He was going to be fed on. He wanted to be fed on. He had no other reason for existing, after all. "Please, be gentle," he said quietly. "It still hurts."

"Still?" The vampire pushed him against the wall and took a good look at his neck, expression quickly souring. "Ah. Already taken, are you? But I can't exactly... sense anyone in that little head of yours. What's up with that?"

"Another vampire feeds on me every night," Beck said dutifully. "They never enthrall me."

"And you just... let them?"

"Yes," came another voice from the entrance of the alley, but Beck paid them no mind. He was there to feed the vampire. Nothing else mattered. "He does."

A second later, his mind suddenly cleared up. He let go of his sweater and quickly pulled his coat back on, staring at the strange vampire fearfully. Oh god. Oh god. Had he just been enthralled?

He followed the vampire's anxious gaze, spotting Helle walking towards the two of them. They seemed pissed.

"Helle," the vampire said with a forced smile. "Long time no see. I didn't know you were still in the area after Lady Marie–"

"Shut up."

He flinched and took a step back, and Beck pressed himself further against the wall. He didn't want to be in Helle's line of sight. Not when they seemed like they were about to commit atrocities.

"Don't– don't be like that. I didn't know this was your human! You should've marked him–"

"Every human here is mine. This is my territory — and you are intruding."

It was a trainwreck. Beck knew there was going to be blood, and a lot of it, but he couldn't take his eyes off the poor man. He couldn't even recognise Helle's behaviour. It was so far removed from all the stupid insults and playful teasing, or even the more vicious things they'd done to him. They looked murderous.

He couldn't tell which one of the vampires moved first. It was all a blur of fangs and knives, hissing and whimpering. Beck slid to the ground and curled up, burying his face between his knees and covering his head with his hands. None of those whimpers came from Helle, he knew that much.

When the man screamed, he moved his hands to cover his ears instead. There was no way to tune it out. One scream was followed by another, and another, until it abruptly stopped. Way too abruptly.

He didn't dare look up. He didn't dare move at all. He just sat there, crying, hoping it would all be over soon and he could go home.

Was the vampire dead?

Was he going to be punished for offering himself up?

Was Helle going to be mad at him like he had been at the vampire?

Someone gently touched his hand and he curled up even tighter, whimpering pitifully. "I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry, please d-don't hurt me... I didn't want to– I didn't want to, he enthralled me–" Slender fingers wrapped around both of his wrists, prying his hands away from his ears despite all his efforts.

"Hey," Helle said softly. "Are you okay?"

He glanced up, only to get startled by the copious amount of blood on them. The entire lower half of their face was covered in it, red and sticky and fresh. "N-no, no, no, please, please! I'm sorry, please, please don't hurt me, I'm sorry!" He tried to yank his hands out of their grip so he could hide behind them, but he didn't stand a chance. All he could do was weep and hope that Helle was feeling particularly merciful — a thought that seemed out of reach in light of everything that had just taken place.

"Beck. Beck. Hey." They squeezed his wrists, making him whine and eventually cease his struggling. He was gasping for air, staring at Helle like a deer in headlights. "You are alright. Nobody is going to hurt you. Hey. Listen to me."

"You're– blood, you're covered– you killed–"

"Oh." They let go, quickly wiping their face off with the back of their hands. "I forgot. Apologies." Beck kept his hands in the air where Helle had held them, afraid to move and potentially anger them. "I killed him because he was going to hurt you," they said afterwards. "Is that not a good thing?"

Killing? A good thing? "He was g-going to run away... he was, he was going to... to run... he wanted to run..."

Helle sighed. "He got inside your head. If I left him alive, or, as alive as he had been, you would have had to deal with the after-effects of that."

"For what, a week?" he squeaked. "You killed– you killed him! You killed him, you, you–"

"Okay, you are clearly not well enough to talk." Beck suddenly felt all the thoughts from his head slip away, leaving him relaxed and docile. "We should go home. Take a shower, maybe... we both need it."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries

#at my beck and call #whump #whump writing #helle #beckett #vampire whumper #multiple whumpers #mind control #possessive whumper #murder