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pharawee · 5 months

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Gather around, fellow BL aficionados, it's time for part four of my Pit Babe novel commentary.

(And if you want to catch up, here are parts 1, 2 and 3.)

A word of warning: since I'm pretty far into the novel now (every post summarises five chapters) expect heavy spoilers, plot twists and revelations.

Oh, and omegaverse shenanigans. So many omegaverse shenanigans. You've been warned.

Also, a small warning for talk about and the aftermath of SA. As usual, please take care. 💜

Now, where were we? Oh, yeah: Way is the big bad enigma and he's been hypnotising Babe all this time - but gently (tm) because, you see, Way really, really loves Babe so that makes it all right...

Yeah, no. Get fucked, Way.

Currently, Way is still passed out on the floor, but as soon as Babe has come to terms with whatever the hell just happened, Charlie (who came to Babe's rescue just in time, remember?) offers to wake him up.

How? Oh, that's easy. He can put people to sleep at will. It's one of the many powers he absorbed from other powered alphas. That's his whole thing: he steals powers and just keeps them - like Rogue in X-Men but without any of the downsides. And as long as he's alive, the powers stay with him, never to return to their previous owner. Unless they die, in which case Charlie loses that particular power forever. Which in turn means that if Charlie dies... but keep that in mind for later.

Oh, and another one of Charlie's powers: changing his scent at will. Goddammit, Charlie.

As for how he knew that Babe was in danger? Jeff told him because he can see into the future. X-Men omegaverse, here we go.

But anyway, when Way wakes up he's confused because the last thing he remembers is SAing his supposed best friend. Now there's Charlie staring daggers at him, and one very angry Babe. Since Way is pathetic (but not the good kind) he attempts to explain: yes, he's actually Babe and Charlie's adoptive brother. Their father sent him to lure Babe back home and, well, get him pregnant. That was ten (10) years ago.

But, you see, Way is such a nice guy (tm), he didn't want to force Babe! Instead, he set out to ruin him for everyone else, thereby making it impossible for him to grow or heal or trust or love. Whenever Babe met someone he connected with, Way swooped in to poison his mind. And whenever Babe recoiled from that new connection, he turned to Way - the only person he could 100% trust. Or so he was made to believe.

So the Babe we meet at the beginning of the novel (and series) isn't really Babe at all. It's the version of Babe Way wants him to be - and for what? For ten years of pining and mindfuckery? What the hell kind of plan is this?

Oh yeah, the kind that gets you punched in the face. Thank you, Babe, you're really speaking my mind here.

And this is the part where the novel really shines because it doesn't just gloss over the implications of abuse. It doesn't leave Way's many empty apologies uncommented:

"I know what I did was unforgivable. I—" "Did you just realize this? Are you like this because I found out just in time?" Babe's voice boomed as anger flared in his heart. No matter how hard he tried to suppress it, he couldn't. "When I'm unconscious, you can assume it's okay to do it, right?" "I didn't want to do it at all…" "I don't care!" Babe shouted. "The point is, I don't want it! And you have no right to do this to me!"

But when Way's attempts to nice-guy himself out of his predicament don't work, he tries to shift the blame onto Charlie. Because Charlie lied too and, after all, didn't Way warn Babe about him?

Yeahhh, he's still trying to manipulate Babe. Way isn't sorry at all, he's only sorry he's been caught. Or, as the novel aptly puts it:

For Way, this might be like a love confession. But for Babe, it was no different from admitting his crimes.

But the novel doesn't leave it at that.

"So what's next?" Babe asked in a calm voice. "Should I thank you?" "What…" "I asked if I should thank you because you didn't rape me?" [...] "Should I thank you for not forcing me to bear your child?" "Babe…" “Even for my life, my body, and everything about me, I still have to wait for your mercy?”

And that's that. Ten years of (false) friendship have been erased just like that.

Really, I'm sorry for adding so many quotes but this whole chapter is just perfect in its blunt directness. It excels in giving Babe back his autonomy - the very thing Way has taken from him.

We'll return to our regularly scheduled omegaverse shenanigans after this bit:

"Did you know that every time you said that [there was never anyone suitable for me], it made me feel like I didn't deserve anyone's love?" [...] "And it's as if the only love I can receive is love from you…" Babe's sobs were so loud that his voice trailed off, but he took a deep breath and continued talking: "…but you never asked me what I really want." [...] "You only care about your own desires. You want to have me. You want to have children. You tried to make me love you and then agree to have children with you. Even though you always knew that I never wanted to have children." "I know you don't want to have children. And I know why," Way replied with a look that seemed to understand. But Babe knew that he didn't understand anything, not at all. "But because I know. That's why I want to change your mind." "It's not your job to change me."

And then, when Way has the audacity to try and hug him, Babe throws him over his shoulder and slams him right onto the floor, and even Charlie is like, damn, guess for a moment there I forgot how amazing Pit Babe is.

Damn right he is!

Later that night, things are winding down and Charlie insists on staying with Babe - just to make sure he's all right. Because unlike some people (!) he actually knows when to give Babe some space, and so he settles down on the couch in the living room while Babe stays in his bedroom.

But, understandably, Babe can't sleep. There's too much on his mind, none of it particularly good. He misses Charlie and, really, he's in dire need of an emergency hug.

It's Babe who approaches Charlie (only of course Charlie knew all along because he has super hearing now and he heard Babe's tossing and turning. Goddammit Charlie). They reconcile and it's really sweet because, in stark contrast to Way, Charlie's apology is heartfelt and reassuring and full of compassion. He also knows that Babe has been through a lot, so when Babe engages in their usual ritual of make-up sex, Charlie is hesitant:

Babe is so strong that he can lift bigger people and throw them to the ground. But believe me, no one is mentally strong enough to not be hurt by dirty things like that.

I just love how clear and concise the novel is on this part.

Anyway, they talk it out and Babe says that he wants to try anyway. What follows is a really sweet sex scene (but don't worry, Babe's still getting railed by his daddy to his heart's content - some things just don't change). There's talk about wild horses. I don't know why and honestly I'd rather not dwell on it.

Meanwhile, Way is being chewed out by Khun Tony (aka everyone's least favourite adoptive father). He's quite a bit upset but, honestly, what did he expect? He's the one with the stupid plan in the first place. Why did he even agree to let Way pine into Babe's general direction FOR TEN YEARS until he maybe catches feelings? The dude can hypnotise people! Just order him to do his evil immoral job!

But anyway, it's too late now. Babe's powers are already gone so breeding him (whyyy...) is pointless. Tony has a new target now: Charlie.

To my immense relief even Way is like, ew.

But it matters little because daddy dearest has contigency plans in place (and where were these plans TEN YEARS AGO - worst evil alpha breeder ever!). He orders Way to leave X-Hunter and return home immediately - and who knows, once Charlie is out of the picture Babe might end up as leftovers for him. Okay then.

In happier news, Charlie wakes up the next day with Babe's hand on his, well, little Charlie. I'm not being a prude here, that's what Babe calls it. It's a whole conversation, followed by - you guessed it - more sex.

Something is different this time, however. Without hesitation, Babe tells Charlie that he loves him, and then he asks him to be his boyfriend - to which Charlie eventually agrees. More sex happens. Actually, all of this happened during a blowjob which is very on brand for Babe. Things get disgustingly cute when Babe realises that this is the first time they're ~making love~ as boyfriend and boyfriend. This leaves him incredibly shy. Thanks to Way's meddling, he never had a boyfriend, after all. This is his first time being in love, and it's exactly as adorable as it sounds. Only with more mindblowing sex.

This includes sex in Charlie's supercar after a training session right on the racetrack (again I ask, have you even seen the interior of a racecar? How? Where? And who's cleaning this up? The mechanics??) as Jeff and Alan watch from afar.

"Why don't the two of them get out of the car?", Jeff said quietly as he looked at Charlie's car which had been parked near the finish line for a while and he saw no signs of it coming down.

Oh, my sweet summer child.

But yes, I'm happy to report that Jeff and Alan are probably going to be a thing in the novel too. This Jeff isn't a mechanic though. He doesn't even study engineering but oceanography (because he likes the ocean even though he's never seen it - live your dreams, my dude!).

As they sit and bicker, Jeff is suddenly struck by what seems to be another vision of the future. Whatever it is, it can't be good because it makes Jeff cry. Uh-oh.

He asks Charlie to meet him at his condo, and Charlie immediately notices that something's wrong. Only this time it's not Babe he needs to worry about. It's all of them.

I'm worried too but mostly for my own sanity.

Remember when I first explained about Tony's evil breeding program? Ah, those were easier, more pleasant times. Because now Tony figures that if he can't get an enigma to impregnate Charlie, he'll just get Charlie to impregnate an omega (because apparently there's a 50% chance that the baby will be an alpha with special traits - why is this novel explaining Mendel's laws of omegaverse inheritance to me?) .

Jeff is an omega.

And this is what Jeff saw: if they don't act now, at some point in the future Tony will have Charlie and Jeff brought back "home" and use aphrodisiacs on them (one up for the trope counter!). Jeff will get pregnant and as soon as their baby is born Tony will dispose of both Jeff and Charlie. This will cause Babe to seek revenge and get killed in the process.

What did I just read?

The novel keeps this from us for a while, and just casually mentions that Charlie isn't overly worried. He even finds the time to be jealous when one of Babe's old acquaintances shows up to Charlie's next race. They argue. The race starts without them reconciling, so naturally that means Charlie has an accident during the race.

It's bad enough that he's transported to the ER. But as the whole team anxiously awaits any kind of news, Babe realises in dawning horror that his heightened senses are slowly returning to him. He can hear Charlie's slowing heartbeat and the doctors fighting to reanimate him.

He listens as Charlie is pronounced dead.

The novel then cuts to Charlie's funeral which is only attended by a handful of people, mostly members of Team X-Hunter. Babe does not cope well at all but at least he's got Alan and Jeff to take care of organisational things.

Speaking of Alan and Jeff. These two have grown quite a bit closer. Close enough that Jeff asks Alan to let him take a look at Charlie's crashed car. The police are already investigating but Jeff wants to see for himself. Hm.

Meanwhile, Babe is alone at his condo, going through several stages of grief all at once (really, it's heartbreaking but so is the length of this post so I'm trying to keep things short). He's interrupted during the bargaining stage by someone knocking at the door. It's Way and he's come to offer his help. Babe might be grieving but he's not stupid, and so they meet up at a coffee shop nearby.

Way all but confirms that Charlie's accident was Tony's doing. What he meant to do was incapacitate Charlie but unfortunately Charlie died. OOPS. What a brilliant plan, really.

Seems like even Way has had enough of Tony's evil schemes so he's banded together with another enigma in order to bring Tony down. Said enigma is actually Tony's eldest "son" who seems to have escaped from his control to do his own (financially very successful) thing and bide his time until Tony eventually slips up.

That enigma is none other than Pete.

That's right. Pete and Way have teamed up to bring down Tony, and they're asking Babe to help them. Babe tentatively agrees.

While this is going down, Jeff visits some random uncle's secluded house. He's greeted by none other than Charlie (now somewhat worse for wear but very much still alive) who's faked his own death with the help of a man named Reval. Charlie feels guilty for lying to Babe again but they can't involve him in this: once hypnotised, he's still under Way's influence (uh-oh...) and could risk all of their careful planning.

Their plan? Getting rid of Charlie's powers before Tony can get to them.

This is where Reval comes in. He also has powers: he can somehow disconnect an alpha (or omega or enigma, I suppose) from their powers - which is apparently a very difficult and time-consuming process (and would otherwise kill the alpha), especially with someone with as many powers as Charlie.

Why does Reval do this? Oh, he's Babe's real father who's been in hiding until now out of shame and guilt (and some memory loss). Surprise!

Also, very convenient. 🤡

#pit babe #pit babe the series #pit babe spoilers #bl meta #pit babe meta #jane watches stuff #these are getting longer and longer #but i'm invested now and if you're still reading this then so are you probably

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vinelark · 10 months

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ALL timkon recs I BEG

hello hi! here are some of my favs! it got long so putting some under the cut

💄 Lipstick on the glass by @cairoscene read for timkon being soft and goofy and disgustingly in love, set in vague future college-y years with amazing core four dynamics too. cair is one of the funniest people to ever exist and we are so blessed that they decided to write some timkon. (also read for my own greatest contribution to literature, the fictional “jerry the void nexus” meme)

🎢 been a number and a name by @wynterstars i had SO MUCH FUN reading this one, a 90s comics-divergent AU where robin and superboy become friends—and crushes—when superboy is pretty new on the scene. feat. lex luthor being terrible, tim staging a rescue operation that at one point involves platform shoes and a blonde wig, spice girls references, and fantastic action sequences. it’s also a series, with an installment focusing on kon & clark, and a currently updating longfic sequel with SO MANY timkon identity shenanigans (my beloved) and kon feelings (also my beloved).

📸 the surveillance series by @smilebackwards i feel like i rec this all the time but it’s because it’s THAT GOOD. a tim-centric AU where tim joins the family late, but is still involved in bat business without the bats realizing. there’s some fun timkon identity shenanigans at the top, and some of my all-time favorite tim characterization (ruthless! lonely! brilliant!) plus a great tim & bruce arc, too.

🦉 Detours by miyaji_08 this is part 2 of a series and i def recommend reading the whole thing! a reverse robins + joker jr au that has lots of trauma and lots of healing, and in part 2 there’s timkon identity shenanigans that’s simultaneously enemies to lovers + And They Were Roommates. tim sure does run a gauntlet of horrors in this series, but it has so much healing and also one of my fav reverse robins concepts i’ve read so far.

📱 unfurl by @burins tim and kon might be dating, and there’s no kryptonian sex ed handy. bruce, being bruce, makes it his business, which means talking to clark and Realizing some things about his own feelings. superbat are billed first here, but i think timkon steal the show—i laughed out loud like five different times reading this. hilarious and sweet on all sides. (and if you like this, check out their timkon road trip fic!)

🌾 A Saturday Evening by malcyon in which tim visits the kent farm for family dinner with kon, feat. very sweet established relationship timkon and fun superfamily dynamics, and it touches on tim’s past grief over kon’s death (and complicated feelings post-undeath).

🤼‍♂️ Sore Loser by @hearteyeshayley kon learns that tim always let him win while sparring, and has to process that. this was such a fun exploration of tim’s prowess as a fighter—one who regularly has to go up against superpowered friends and foes alike—and also tim as a person who is always doing mental calculations about the people around him (in an endearing way). kon, too, got his time to shine and grow, and the ending was so smart and sweet.

🔮 Ascension by Violet_Witch an AU longfic where tim is a witchling and kon is a fallen angel who has (oops) just lost his wings. tim sets out to help get kon’s wings back, and there’s a ticking clock because angel wings are dangerous in the wrong hands—and tim has a big, horrible secret that’s about to come due. the plot/worldbuilding of this was WILDLY cool, and there was a big ol misunderstanding in the middle that had me clawing my face off (in a good way).

🌌 straight on ’til morning by merils kon vs. the terrifying ordeal of growing up, feat. sweet friends-to-lovers timkon and really thoughtful exploration of some of kon’s canon past relationships and their abusive dynamics. i haven’t finished this one yet but it’s been rec’d multiple times and i’m excited to dive back in (and it's recently complete!)—and what i have read so far gave me an amazing sequence of kon and dick interacting and dick’s big brother mode activating in an instant, which is something i now desperately need more of.

📧 aaaand would it even be a reclist by me if i didn’t include send to all by @cairoscene the absolute moment i find myself feeling down i go reread this and boom. i am instantly laughing again. timkon are just one part of a bat grab-bag here but they are so so funny and cute and in-character. maybe one day i’ll compile the timkon-centric sequel that exists in my head but for now i’ll just go reread this for the zillionth time.

okay yeah!! i’m probably missing so many good fics here because i constantly have like a zillion tabs open that i plan to read someday. also i reserve the right to reblog later like OH I FORGOT— but in the meanwhile, happy timkon reading!

#timkon #fic rec #asks

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brujaluas · 4 months

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how to speed up the connection with your future spouse

Hi, this would be a sample of what my paid readings are like and how I intend to do the readings on Patreon as well. I gave a lot of myself to this special edition, I hope you enjoy it.

pile 1 has slightly delicate subjects, so be careful when reading, I'm not very good with words and I end up being too direct. I'm sorry for anything.

everything about my paid readings and personal spells

pile 1

Right at the beginning I feel a bad energy, it even gave me back pain, you are hurting yourself a lot, it could even be physically, I'm sorry for saying this but I believe it is necessary to remove all the veils so that I can do a good drawing for you, continuing… you are hurting yourself and punishing yourself and this has been happening for a while now, it is painful and very painful, it is as if you think you deserve to go through this, you cultivate many bad habits with yourself, someone may have put this in your head or has harmed you too, I advise you to take a herbal bath, cleanse your energy spiritually, you are stuck in a painful situation, and you need to free yourself from it, I also see that you need to create greater responsibility, love It's something really beautiful, but keep your feet on the ground, evaluate people well, create greater maturity to manage your feelings and emotions, that's what you're asked to do, you have the key to your solutions, like that at the beginning, I'll be back to say again: you need to end a cycle. I know this is very difficult, it is something that requires a lot of patience and dedication and sometimes we are so exhausted that we feel like we won't make it, but you will. we will. You need to end this toxic cycle that you created with yourself, you need to do this so that true love finds you. Soon after you manage to complete this cycle, in less than two years, or even a year, you will find who you deserve. you can communicate over the internet first, some online contact, there is a vintage vibe between you, you can also like to communicate by letters, for many, I feel like it is a man, or someone with strong masculine energy, possibly, it is a foreigner, it can being from a different city or even a different country, with different habits, you may meet on a trip, or your future spouse may end up passing through the place where you live, it is a love that will teach you a lot, especially to mature your ideas and maybe even teach you some things about life, I won't deny it, there may be barriers in sight, it's not clear what it will be, but there will be some obstacles, it's as if the universe wanted to put you and your love to test so that they can be together, it could be a difference of ideas, geographically, someone in the family is opposed… things like that, but you love each other, and you have both gone through a healing process, this person went through it before, you more recently, but they are both fine, I see a bright future, very beautiful and full of joy, you waking up with a smile on your face seeing your love by your side, something like that.

Pile 2

I see you in a very happy moment, maybe you are even in a relationship with someone, I'm a little confused, unlike the other pile, this one presents excellent images at the beginning, it can also be a confirmation that your manifestation and prayers to find your true love are flowing, you can even meet in dreams and not know it, something that tells me that this connection is already activated in some way. It's beautiful, for some of you, I feel like you're older, or you have an old soul, you've been through a lot in your lives, true warriors, I'm impressed with the commitment you have to life and to you. A very beautiful and revolutionary healing happened here, or will happen very soon, I see you achieving emotional, spiritual peace, in other words, it is as if you became your best friend who is always in the stands cheering for you. I see many prosperous fruits, you can achieve a great career, some dream of being a mother or father here, I see you achieving this, you can have 2 to 4 children, I see you building a beautiful house and living with your love, what can I say? You look great, you can live in the countryside, because you want silence. you can make a lot of plans, you can move somewhere, or I see that some are living far away from their parents and after marriage they will move closer to them, your passion will make you feel a huge impulse, like seeing old friendships again, Going to places where you went as a child, with this euphoria you may end up doing things that are a little questionable, be careful with that, but even so I see the purest success here, you are learning very well to defend yourself and that is good, in the beginning The print run made it seem like you already know your future spouse, and I see that this feeling is because for some, it's an ex. you are undergoing immense progress and evolution, your future spouse is too, you are on the same level in everything, it's like it's something mirrored, there's nothing I can say, I think, just that you keep doing whatever you're doing, it's just a matter of time.

#tarot reading #divination #witchy things #pick a pile #tarot deck #pick a pile reading #pick a card #pick a card reading #free tarot #tarot cards #pick a deck #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a reading #oracle cards #paypal #paid readings #paid tarot

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huggingtentacles · 8 days

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Alright you just beat Elden Ring. Congratulations! You're now one of the cool folks who can actually beat the game, and you're not ready to put it down yet.

Maybe PvP intimidates you and you just wanna explore the world again. You may try a new build sure, but now that you know more about the game, you might wanna try something different, like a challenge run.

"huggingtentacles I am trash at the game there is no way I could do any of the cool runs, I died to Radagon a bazillion times"

NO, You are good enough to try any challenge run! You can define what a challange is for yourself! There is no need to jump into something insane like a rune level 1 run or a torch only run. You can set any restriction you want, and completing the game with an additional challange is immensely more satisfying (and gives you bragging rights)

There are many different challange runs all varying in difficulty. Here are the runs that I've done personally.

Easy:

Region Lock Run — the premise is simple, you can't leave the region you are in unless you best the major boss(es) of that region. You can't go to Liurnia untill you beat Margit, you can't go to Altus untill you beat Rennala, etc. This run is fun because you can't skip over progression (like killing the Caelid dragon early with bleed to be overlevelled for Limgrave) which makes every fight feel appropriately difficult.

Starting Class Run — Only use the gear you start the game with. You can level up and upgrade your weapons and flask, but you can't use any other consumables and talismans you didn't start the game with. This run is quite flexible in difficulty because whether you choose to, say, use ashes of war or different spells or even golden seeds is ultimately up to you. All of them count.

No spirit summons — for some this is just the normal Elden Ring run, but for most it's a challange. While it can be somewhat difficult, not having spirit summons still leaves you with enough options to steamroll through the game if you. The challenge comes from actually learning the bosses and their patterns and engaging with combat more.

No status effects — As simple as it sounds. Perhaps you used to crutch on bleed, frost, rot or poison, now you can't. There are plenty of other very powerful damage options in the game, so the run is definitely not very hard, it only limits your arsenal somewhat.

Spells only/melee only — depending on what your previous run was. If you're used to standing behind and throwing pebbles, picking up a weapon might be a fun new challenge. And if you are used to your Big Sword, it's gonna be kinda hard to adjust to managing your FP and putting together a build.

Medium:

Spirit Summons Only — moderately difficult because it requires rather extensive knowledge of the game's mechanics. The basic premise is that you can only deal damage using spirit summons. You can restrict it to bosses only or to the whole run in general. It's an absolutely hilarious run. The AI built into the game can beat the entire game for you. Including the hardest endgame bosses like Malenia. Also playing as a support, healing and buffing your summons is really fun :)

No Crimson Flask — LISTEN. I swear it's not that hard. Yes it sucks a bit in the early game, but there are so many tools and options available to completely replace your flask with regen and heal spells. Just level up your vigor. This run is incredibly fun and it's good if you are aiming for harder runs in the future but aren't sure if you have it in you. I know you do ;)

Taunter's Tongue Run — Definitely my FAVOURITE of all of them. Its incredibly simple: you get Taunter's Tongue as soon as you get access to Roundtable Hold and you turn it on forever. Fight invaders alone or with a friend in 2v2s. If you don't have any PvP experience, this is one of the ways to learn. By the end of it, you won't be half bad at PvP, trust me (unless you just run away all the time which is also an option)

Hard:

Rune Level 1 is such a difficult run to do, but the cultural legacy of Fromsoft "no leveling up" runs makes the completion of it so desirable. Completing this run basically makes you part of the small section of people who actually know how to fight every single boss without relying on cheap tactics and cheese. You learn how to counter every move most enemies make because of how unforgiving it is.

But what's more fun is the sheer variety. Stat boosting gear is so common in this game you can literally use almost anything you want as a weapon.

Permadeath — If you die, you restart. Use any tools at your disposal to survive, play it safe, level up your vigor. But most importantly, brace for setbacks. Restarting because of a dumb mistake sucks, but that's why it's such an impressive run to complete. If you can take a loss on Elden Beast and make it to the inside of the Erdtree again, you will achieve one of the hardest challanges ER has to offer.

An easier variation of Permadeath would be "no rune loss" run. There are tools the game gives you to avoid losing runes, but it's still a very difficult run.

Torch Only Run — You pick up a standard torch from Church of Elleh and you use it to Kill God.

An easier variation would be Torches Only run which allows you to use the entire arsenal of torches. Still a very difficult run that requires a lot of skill to beat.

Impossible:

No Thinking About Kissing Malenia run — still working on this one. Can't figure it out. If you have advice please DM me

Feel free to add more challange run ideas!

#elden ring #shitpost #elden ring pvp #invader talk #elden ring invasions #elden ring challange runs

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iris-black13 · 11 days

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In honour of Merlin trending for literally no reason today, I would like to share my theories that I came up with during my recent rewatch. (I'm only up to season 3 right now so there really aren't that many theories yet.)

1. Merlin and Arthur 100% fell in love with each other in season 1, but they aren't aware of it at all.

2. Merlin is so gay. I'm not sure if he knows it or not, but Merlin is not attracted to women. Every time he's seemed interested in a woman, it's because she's been a powerful sorceress or a magical creature. Speaking of Freya; his only real female love interest, what he loves about her is that he sees himself in her. He feels a sense of kinship towards her as someone who is trapped and hunted for something out of her control. I don't think he feels any actual romantic love for her. He loves her, sure. But I think he's confusing romantic love for something else. (But idk I could be wrong.)

3. I don't think the Morgana we got back after her disappearance is the same Morgana we had pre S2E12. I think she probably died and came back wrong. Because otherwise the personality difference is too drastic. Her relationship with Gwen for instance. It makes sense if she didn't forgive Merlin for what he did, but why is she so mean to Gwen?? Gwen was her best friend and maybe even her first love? Morgana was never classist before season 3, but afterwards she acts like Gwen is lesser than and it just doesn't make sense. Anyway that's my in-universe explanation for her terrible shift in character.

4. This is the most important one. Merlin doesn't realize he's in love with Arthur until some time shortly before the season 2 finale. Before the finale, Merlin is happy to cheer on the romance between Arthur and Gwen. Two of his best friends fell in love! Why wouldn't he be happy? Even if they think there's no future for their relationship, he's more than happy to help them get together because Merlin believes in loving who you want to love.

Now, I could go on about how falling in love with Gwen is basically Arthur's way of expressing his repressed feelings for Merlin since Gwen and Merlin are of the same social standing and since Gwen is a woman he can experience the love he could have had with Merlin if it was allowed, but I won't do that. This ain't about him. What's important is that Merlin, in the season 2 finale- knows he's in love with Arthur, and that Arthur can't love him back. After the finale, he's still happy to help his friends in their affections for each other, but his bright goofy smile is gone. It's replaced with this melancholy smile and a hesitant voice.

I'm so serious right now. If you don't believe me, just go rewatch seasons 2 and 3 and see the shift in his demeanor yourself. He actively avoids them when they're interacting in season 3. In- I think it was the changeling episode, at the end, Arthur and Merlin walk into a hallway at the bottom of the staircase. They both see Gwen on the staircase, and when Arthur starts up the stairs, Merlin immediately leaves. It's not a "I'll give them their space" moment. It's a "I can't be here right now" kind of moment. He doesn't even try to stick around to protect Arthur on their date in the episode where Morgana frames Gwen for witchcraft. (and don't even get me started on that episode of my god.) Normally, he would stick around in the shadows to make sure nothing goes wrong and they aren't attacked or anything. It's weird that he doesn't try to stick around!

And oh my God. There are so many moments where Colin Morgan's acting just makes my heart ache. In the crystal caves, Merlin trying to banter with an unconscious Arthur while trying desperately to heal him makes me want to cry. And any time he's encouraging Gwen to follow her heart and be with Arthur just makes me ache. In the "...you still have feelings for him." And the "you like him. He likes you. Isn't that all that really matters?" I just can't.

Honestly, I could go on, but this post is already wordy enough. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

#merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merthur #merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin analysis #merlin spoilers #merlin 2008

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sidthedollface2 · 16 days

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A Crown fit for a God (Part 5)

Part 4

Pairing: Azriel x Fem Reader

Ch Summary: Elain tries to hold on to whatever relationship she and Azriel have left. Will he submit to her desires? Or seek you out instead?

You accidentally discover what the inside of a cell looks like.

word count: 4.3k

Ch warnings: SA (groping, not graphic and no p in v), thoughts of murder, drugging, cheating (don't worry), slight pregnancy talk.

Series warnings: 18+ MDNI, SMUT, mentions of SA, angst, hurt/comfort, war, murder including injuries, fighting, no use of y/n, nicknames, magic, greek mythology, pining, jealousy, soft Az with a little temper, azriel with other women (sorry), reader with another man (get it friend ; )

A/n: I had something totally different planned but decided to take this little detour. Lol. I believe after this chapter we will see more of Azriel and reader interactions. I think. Idk. maybe. I'm a daydreamer not a writer so if you see any mistakes that's how I dreamt it. Lol

The following day Lucien had gotten into a fight with Eris, what was at first a screaming match turned physical, as fists flew left and right. Both males stubborn in their decision, Lucien adamant that he already had planned to run away with you to the Spring Court and Eris tried to explain that a life on the run was no life at all. He promised Lucien you’d be well taken care of and that you’d be a wonderful High Lady when the time came. “No! I’d rather die than watch her marry you.” Lucien roared, angering his brother even more. “We will leave in two days' time and you will not seek us out.” Two days. Eris had two days to figure out how to make you stay.

If Eris was to be the next High Lord he’d have to do dishonorable things to get what he wanted. This was the first of many. “Gods forgive me for what I'm about to do,” he whispered to himself as he mixed the sex pollen into the cake batter. He placed the round tins in the oven, just like his mother had shown him many times before. Once the cake was frosted and decorated he hand delivered it to an old friend he hadn’t seen in a long while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again Azriel watched as you walked away, a lone shadow ordered to follow and keep you safe trailing behind you. Shame filled his guilty heart. He had never acted this way before, not with Mor or Elain or any other female he had in his bed. It was foolish to judge you when he’s had more than enough partners in the 500 plus years he’s been alive.

Was he going to apologize by fetching you contraceptive tea from The Night Court, so you could sleep with someone else, while he pinned after you?

Yes. Yes he was, and he certainly wasn't thrilled about it.

The following morning you stumbled upon a small box on the front steps of your cottage; adorned in navy wrapping paper and secured with a golden bow. A small note was attached along with a violet flower, its stem carrying bulb-like flower buds waiting to bloom and berries as black as the midnight sky. You recognized the plant as Nightshade.

My Queen of Death,

I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive my ignorance. I'm ashamed that I've allowed my jealousy to transpire into hurtful words. Words that no female should ever hear and I truly apologize for judging your actions when my own are not very admirable. I realize that actions speak louder than words and I aim to show you just how sorry I am.

Yours, Azriel

A small smile pulled at your lips as you unraveled the bow and looked inside the box. Three jars of finely crushed herbs, each labeled individually accompanied by a beautifully crafted infuser were neatly placed within the box. Along with healing salves for your wounds, and seeds to grow your own Nightshade.

“What is that Fawn?” you didn’t hear as Eris winnowed to the cottage, his glare immediately finding the gift box in your hands. You had two options: lie and say it's just tea from a merchant or tell the truth and enrage the future heir. You were no coward, “It’s contraceptive tea from The Night Court,” you declared with not a hint of hesitation. Eris clenched his hands in a fist, taming the lingering flame that threatened to burst free in his rage. His nostrils flared in distaste for your actions. You knew the plan was to pretend to marry Eris and produce an heir, granting his fathers wishes. Somewhere along the way those pretend lies blurred into truth, at least for Eris.

“Who did you get the tea from?” he asked, deeply inhaling the air around him, scenting for another male. Thank the Gods you had glamoured your scent, “My friend gifted it to me.”

“You don’t have friends, I need a name now!” He seethed, clenching his jaw in anger.

You scowled at him, turning your back to him with the gift in your hands, heading back into the cottage. When he suddenly reached over, snatching the note from your hand.

“Hey!”

“My Queen?” He questions, reading over the note in a mocking tone and a furrowed brow, “your Azriel?” Eris smugly chuckles, "My Gods he really does know how to work the females doesn’t he? He doesn’t want to be your friend Fawn, he just wants to fuck you. I bet that's the reason he got jealous wasn't it?” He states, crumbling the note in his fist and setting it on fire with his magic. When he opens his fist again a small amount of ash floats to the ground.

Eris had done what he always does. Place doubt in your mind that no one would ever want you more than a fuck buddy and no one has ever been friends with a Death God. The others were locked away in the prison, the weavers cottage, and the lake. Soon enough the other High Lords would come to know of you and your powers and lock you away like the rest.

“You're right, but I still want the tea.”

Eris stalks closer, taking the gift from your hands, “I’ll get you some new tea. This one probably has sex pollen in it. You can never trust the males of The Night Court. I’ve already told you, they share their females. And you're too precious to share.”

Eris throws the box over this shoulder, setting it aflame before it even hits the ground.

He wraps his arm around your shoulder, walking you inside the cottage, “Mother requests you at the Forest House. She wants you to wear a dress to Helion's celebration.”

~~~~

Azriel thought about your last words to him and it hurt him to admit you were right. No one had ever loved him. At least not as deeply as your love for Lucien. He wondered what your love would feel like. Would it be as fierce as you were, with power surging through your veins? Were you a hopeless romantic where you’d hold his hand and kiss him in the middle of the street on the rainiest day of the year? With how he was acting, that idea seemed so far off. So far each encounter with you was met with his illyrian ways of being a territorial, possessive, jealous male. He was man enough to admit he was jealous, Lucien had a piece of your heart, if not now then before. He had no right to be jealous, he was sleeping with Elain afterall. A situation he needed to end once and for all.

His curiosity was heavy enough to seek out the male and question the depths of the relationship. Not long after he landed back in Velaris, he found himself knocking on Lucien's apartment door, hoping to catch up.

Lucien opened the door and he immediately regretted it. He wasn’t exactly fond of the illyrian who had been sleeping with his mate. Knowing very well Azriel’s appetite for beautiful females. He’d figure once he grew bored of Elain he’d find another female to bed and another and another, leaving those poor females a shell of their former selves. Lucien had no patience for small talk and he wasn't exactly interested in what the shadowsinger had to say, “whatever it is, I don’t care.” Lucien moved to close the door in Azriel’s face, unamused with the sudden visit.

“Wait!” Azriel pleaded, hand splayed over the door that was about to close on him. “I’m not here to talk about Elain, I’m ending it with her today. I’m here to talk about Khaos.” Lucien sighed, letting the shadowsinger enter his apartment. “Is she safe?” Lucien's worried eyes scanned Azriel for any hint of deception. “Yeah, she's safe, I just wanted to know how she was with you and now Eris. More importantly, what happened between you two? ”

Azriel walked over to Lucien's couch, Mid bend to make himself comfortable, “don’t sit. I don’t plan to entertain you,” Lucien spat, crossing his arms over his chest. Azriel let the weight of his body plop down on the couch, arms stretched wide across the back cushion. His unwavering stare indicating he would get the answers to his questions. Lucien gritted his teeth in annoyance, “ I’m not telling you shit. What happened between us, remains between us.”

Azriel nodded, understanding his hesitancy to give any details regarding a former lover, “It’s just that I’d like to get to know her bett-”

“Haven’t you had your fill?" Lucien interrupted with a scowl, “must you take every female that I love?” He scoffed. “You don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as her.”

There it was, his opening. Exactly what he was hoping for. Azriel didn’t hesitate in prodding further.

“If you loved her, why did you leave?”

Lucien shook his head, running his hand through his long locks, “No, not past tense. I still do. I’ll always…” Lucien swallowed, he couldn’t finish that sentence, it hurt too much. Azriel narrowed his eyes, Gods, he still loved you he thought to himself. He knew his next words would reopen a healed wound, but he needed more. “You love her so much you let Eris fuck her too.” Azriel internally flinched at how tasteless the statement was.

Lucien winced at the Shadowsingers clear attempt to rile him up, those crude words grating against his heart, “Get out!”

Azriel smirked and threw his mud covered boots on top of the coffee table, rattling the few cups that lingered. Crossing his legs at the ankle, “the faster you tell me what I want to know, the faster I'll leave.”

Lucien rubbed the space between his brows and let out an annoyed groan. His gaze fixed on a burgundy cloak that was thrown over an armchair. A cloak that once belonged to you, after all these years he still held onto it. Lucien's eyes glazed over in sadness as he recalled the reason he left, “after my father wished for Eris to court her, I tried to take her away to The Spring Court so we could be together. I went to our friend Jesminda's house to say my goodbyes. She invited me in for cake and tea, one thing led to another and I made the biggest mistake of my life. I couldn't tell her, so I left for Spring alone. ”

“You cheated on her?” Azriel asked.

Lucien nodded, clearing his throat from the knot of emotion that threatened to break free.

“You’re a fucking coward,” Azriel glared as he stalked towards the door, “she thinks the world of you and you couldn’t even tell her of your betrayal.”

He opened the door to the apartment, leaving Lucien to sulk in misery,

“You said I don't deserve her, but it’s you who doesn't deserve a place in her heart. I’ll make sure she knows of your cowardice and infidelity.”

Azriel slammed the door behind him and as he walked away he heard the cries of a wounded fox, shattered to pieces by a guilty conscience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood in front of a full length mirror, its reflection one you didn't recognize. Your eyes lacked the stars that once circled your pupils, your once moon like orb was no longer crisp and bright. No longer did you look like a God that brought blood and gore to those who deserved a painful death. How did the Goddess of Life succumb to a female with nowhere to go but beside her betrothed. To obey his every wish with a smile on your face. Only speak when spoken to and never voice the thoughts that lingered beyond those of dresses and motherhood.

Was your life to be on your back while Eris spilled his seed inside you, producing heir after heir until your very womb decayed. “Aos? Which color would you like the dress?” you shook your head, riding yourself from your detached thoughts. You met the eyes of Auren through the mirror, a seamstress tasked with measuring you for Helion’s Celebration. “Blue would look lovely, Thank you Auren.”

“The Prince is wearing a deep cadmium red, it be wise to match with the future heir.” Auren explained as she struggled to wrap the measuring tape around your waist, placing her finger against your body, noting the inch at which her finger fit snugly against your skin. “Make it a royal blue Auren, it reminds me of home.”

Her heavy breathing took you out of your thoughts and your eyes widened at her swollen belly, the reason for her struggle to reach around you. “Oh Auren, I didn’t realize. It’s not polite to comment-”

“It’s alright really, just got harder to bend and move,” she laughed, rubbing her round stomach soothingly. You beamed as she cradled the life that was growing inside her. A warmth so familiar bloomed inside you. You knew all too well the reason pregnancy was difficult in the fae lands, ever since you fell from the sky procreation had severely diminished. Not forgotten or misplaced just pointless in a cruel world. You couldn't say you had nothing to do with it, you had everything to do with creation. So it was quite a shock to see Auren pregnant, “a miracle really. Congratulations Auren, you make a wonderful mother.”

“It’s always been a dream of mine. Thank the Gods for this fertility tea.” She took a sip from her cup and as she set it down you glanced inside, “whole nuts?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Mhmm, it tastes gritty when they’re crushed down to a powder.” She grimaced as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Gritty?”

Weekly dinners with the Vanserras, you were served tea.

It couldn’t be.

It was.

You paled.

~~~~~~~

At dinner everyone moved around you carrying their conversations like you weren’t slowly dying inside. Like you were invisible. You sat unmoving, hands clasped within your lap as you burned a hole into the mug that accompanied your dessert. How long had you been drinking that tea? How long were you going to pretend to be Eris' lover? How long were you going to put on this mask of compliance and docility, when in reality you could rip the flesh from their bones with a blink of an eye. Slaughter each and every member of the Vanserras without a single ounce of remorse.

The more you dwelled on it the more plausible it seemed. Yes, you’d remove them all at once with the snap of your finger. Each death exactly the same as the next, painful in the way they’ve caused pain to others. No, tortuous. Starting with the slow removal of each fingernail, pulled directly from the nailbed followed by severing each finger until nothing remained of their hands but a bloody useless paw. You wouldn't stop there. Next you’d remove their feet below the ankles, better yet, below the knee, so that to move they'd need to drag their meat sack of bones across all the painful textures of the land. Each and every pull against the earth would reopen thin healed skin, leaving trails of crimson blood mixed with pus and torn flesh.

The cries of a once feared family would bring their citizens out only to shriek, and gasp in horror at the sight of the disfigured thing. As a mercy you’d allow them to keep their eyes and ears so they’d hear each vulgar degradation aimed at how mutilated and disgusting they looked, visualize the moment they made someone so ill all that could be done was vomit the contents of their stomach. No one would pin it on Eris if he was among the deformed. Though you weren’t so cruel, they did help you somewhat. Provide you with shelter, food, all the means that you’ve needed to survive thus far. Asphyxiation would be painless, you smirked.

Eris placed a panicked hand to the base of his throat, glancing around the table at his family; he noticed their glossy widened eyes. Their mouths hung open in a silent scream, opening and closing like a fish out of water, gasping for a breath of air. Utensils clattered to the ground as Lord Beron attempted to stand only to stumble clenching the table cloth for fear of falling. Eris’ amber gaze landed on your morbid stare. Eyes cloudy and pale with the promise of death in their unfocused glare.

The room spun round and round although he remained seated, knuckles white from gripping the wooden table. He felt himself slowly losing consciousness, the lack of oxygen to his brain pulling him under, a swipe across his nose made him nearly pass out as he felt blood drip down, coating his lips. Eris chanced one last look into the soul of beautiful death and found your lifeless eyes already claiming his beating heart.

With a last ditch effort to reclaim his soul he struggled through the pounding inside his head. Placing a trembling hand against your thigh, conjuring the remaining power he had into a lick of flame. Burning against your thigh brought your thoughts back to dinner. Those heterochromia eyes morphed into the vibrant colors of the galaxy with a single blink. The sharp inhale of air surrounded the table as your mind released them from the claws of death's grip. “Must be the tea,” you challenged, voice dripping with insolence as your cold eyes met those of Lord Beron. “We’ve been poisoned!” Eris's younger brother Janus reported, pouring out his cup of tea showcasing the darkened goop that splattered to the ground. Eris’ gaze traveled from the cup to you and back again. A look of shock and hurt in the way he studied your indifference. Once everyone cleared the dinner table, Lord Beron ordered the guards to sweep the halls for a breach and check the tea imports for tampering.

~~~~~

You made your way to your bed chambers when a rough hand tightly gripped your arm; shoving you against the stone walls with enough force to knock the sense out of you. Lord Beron lowered his mouth to your ear so no one else could hear his vile words. “If I have to chain your legs apart and force him on you, so be it! But you will let Eris fuck a babe into your pathetic cunt!” He snarled, voice dripping with the rot that plagued his evil soul. You stared at the grip he had on your arm, a bruise in the shape of fingertips already forming around your bicep.

“Threaten me all you want-"

The back of Lord Berons palm landed across your cheek with an audible slap, whipping your face so hard you stumbled to the floor. Your fingertips sparked with electric current, adrenaline running through you, tempting you to act, to destroy everyone that got in your way. And Lord Beron would be the first to witness your fury. Defiantly, you stood to meet his stare, chin held high with pride, “I bow to no High Lord.”

Lord Beron didn’t bother to strike you as he signaled for a guard to escort you below. Where they kept their murderers, thieves, and those that needed a reminder of who their High Lord was. Lord Beron didn’t know how powerful you were since you kept most of your magic to yourself and those close to you, so it came as a shock when a stainless steel collar dipped in faebane was locked around your neck, made to look like a simple necklace with the only key belonging to High Lord Beron.

You were dragged down the cold halls farther than you knew existed, down a spiral of stone steps, passed the cells that housed the criminals of Autumn and last through a hidden wall disguised as an unassuming bookcase. Your heart rate spiked as you realized this area was one you had never seen before and it worried you that maybe that was the point. You tried to summon your magic despite the collar releasing its poison onto your skin, but with nowhere to release the rage, the opposite happened. Your power turned to its host and acted like a sedative, pulling you into a sleep-like state.

In your near-unconsciousness you didn’t feel the rough hands of a guard help himself to the curves of your body, groping your breasts and grabbing your ass before he kneeled at your feet, shackling your legs apart just as Lord Beron promised. The guards were instructed to not penetrate you but that didn’t stop them from standing around your cell to gawk and fist their needy cocks to the sight of your spread pussy.

~~~~~~~~~

Azriel breathed a sigh of relief as he entered his room. A welcoming comfort no one could grant him, except perhaps you.

He neared his four poster bed, large enough for his wings and a lover or two. Just as he was about to throw himself onto its pillowy top a sweet scent engulfed him. Too sweet for his liking and definitely not your scent. As he looked to the illuminated light escaping the bottom of the bathing room; Elain emerged from a cloud of steam, casting her in a hazy glow. Azriels eyes trailed the length of her nude body, drops of water tracking down her thin legs.

Azriel couldn't deny what a beautiful female she was, both inside and out. He was lucky to have been with her no matter how short their fling was about to be. What Elain assumed was lust in Azriels eyes was actually reflection. Seeing her bare before him reminded him of what she offered time and time again. Her physical body. He knew that's not all she had to offer, deep down she had goals to be met and hobbies that he didn't understand, but physical intimacy is what she offered to him.

Azriel couldn't believe he had gotten to the point where sex was no longer enough. He wanted more. He wanted it all. He wanted that body, mind and spirit love. A soul connection so deep not even death would be able to pry his heart away. He felt it in his bones that that connection was not with Elain, so he’d decided now was as good a time as any, to let her go.

Without another glance Azriel walked to his closet, which held an assortment of her clothes. He pulled out her favorite pink robe, and draped it over her shoulders. Elain took the hint and tied the robe around her body at the waist, covering her completely. The act alone brought her to tears as his rejection flooded her with shame and embarrassment.

“Who is she?” Elain muttered, crossing her arms over her stomach in an attempt to hold herself together. Azriel shook his head, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No. I wouldn't do that to her - to you,” he shook his head, “I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Do you want to sleep with her?” Elain asked with a wobble in her throat, not sure if she could handle his answer.

Azriel turned his back on Elain and placed his hands on his hips. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he hung his head. Yes, he did want to bed you, but more than anything he wanted to hear the sound of your soft breathing as you slept nestled against his chest. He wanted to trace the beauty marks along your back and see how many constellations adorned your soft skin.

“Azriel!”

“Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear? He snapped.

“NO! I want to hear that you love me, not that you want to fuck someone else!” Elain sobbed, her tears freely flowing down her cheeks. “It’s her isn't it? The one you’ve been looking for all these years? The female you said I shouldn't worry about?” Elain continued to wipe away her tears.

“I never meant to hurt you, and for that I’m sorry. If there's a chance that she’s who's destined for me then I have to explore that. You know how much I want what my brothers have, that special someone made for me!” Azriel sat on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his wavy hair.

“I thought I was made for you Az?”

A scoff leaves Azriels lips, “you were made for Lucien, he's your mate Elain, not me.”

Elains stunned silent. The truth of his words piercing her fragile heart, “but I chose you.”

“And I’m choosing her.”

“Azriel, she's a Death God,” she pleads, kneeling in front of him with her hands on his knees, “she’s threatened Velaris and Rhys hates her. You met her one time as a child. You don’t know her!” she yelled, hurt laced in her words as she tried to make sense of his actions.

“I want to get to know her!” Azriel yelled back, standing abruptly from his position on the bed, making Elain stumble slightly, catching herself with her palms on the floor.

“I’m sorry, this thing between us. It was never –”

Azriels shadows interrupt him as they swarm the room, darting erratically from side to side in alarm. Goosebumps form along his arms as they whisper in his ear, ‘In trouble, hurry.’ Azriel didn't need to ask who was in trouble. Somehow he could feel your despair in the pit of his stomach. You needed him and he would go to you. However far you were, he would walk miles to reach you, fly through the toughest storms to be by your side. Risk his own life if it meant you’d survive to see another day. Without another word he raced out of the house, leaving a broken hearted Elain to pick up the pieces of her fractured heart. He couldn’t be there for her any longer, not when his heart was calling out for you.

A/n: I’ve had a crazy week with my daughter being sick and planning her birthday party. I expect the next ch to take me some time. As always thank you so much for reading and for your sweet comments.

Taglist: @blackgirlmagicforever @going-through-shit @dr4g0ngirl @mybestfriendmademe @isa1b2h3 @julesofvolterra @scooobies @thisblogisaboutabook @lilah-asteria @glitterypirateduck @acourtofbatboydreams @5onedirection5

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x fem!reader #azriel x y/n #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel fanfic #azriel angst #azriel #acotar #acotar x reader #acotar fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine

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ofdemonsandangels · 1 month

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A Masterlist of My Favorite GriffGuts fics Part 2

Well hello again! We're coming up on two years since my last GriffGuts fic rec masterlist and so many amazing fics have come out since then! I'm really happy that the original list got so much love, I really can't wait to share more of my favorites with you all, both new or looked over from before <3

One-Shots

White Hawk Down by bishounenjump

Summary:

Sometimes Guts forgets that Griffith is just a man. A man with a body.

My comments:

A missing scene from canon that we all wish could have happened

Snowmelt by bthump

Summary:

Once again, Griffith acts impulsively when it comes to Guts. AU where Griffith doesn't find out that Guts left the Hawks until after he's gone.

My comments:

The way I was waiting for two whole years for another bthump fic after Refraction lmao. This fic is one of those fics that you pull up to cope with after you remember what happened in canon.

What would happen if the duel in the snow never happened but Griffith still chased after Guts to bring him back? Find out in 10.2k words of peak writing. In bthump we trust (￣^￣)ゞ

Late Night Reverie by bishounenjump

Summary:

"He won’t hesitate to admit that he loves being king. No blustering nobleman can take that from him.

And yet, on nights like this, when he can drink in the broad expanse of his commander — his dark brow and gentle gaze and absurdly strong physique — he knows that some dreams do occasionally obscure others."

My comments:

A very heartwarming glimpse into a future that Guts and Griffith could've had. I feel all warm inside whenever I reread this fic

we're not in love, we share no stories by Alyss_Baskerville

Summary:

Though the gash on Guts’ shoulder heals, his eyes now skip right past Griffith.

My comments:

Whereas the previous fic rec was a sweet look into a future that never was, this fic is a painful one. Holy hell did I feel like someone had carved my heart out of my chest when I had finished the final line. It reminds me a lot of the film, Atonement, so if you've seen the film, you can take a lot more away from this fic.

In the Absence of Light by Ghidorahs_Child

Summary:

Schierke aches for him, for the happiness he was denied, for the love he has lost.

My comments:

Guts and Schierke share their own Corridor of Dreams moments and it's just as bittersweet as you think it is

A Dreamless Sleep by Queenbananya

Summary:

“I’ve killed children for you,” Guts said, lying next to Griffith on a patch of grass. He peered up at the stars and remembered the kid’s face, the hand that reached out to him helplessly as the last trace of life faded from his eyes.

Or, Guts seeks comfort from Griffith, months after he's killed Adonis.

My comments:

Griffith comforting Guts as he deals with the trauma of killing Adonis is something we all desperately wanted at some point

That Dawn in the Snow by Nefastum

Summary:

He wondered now if Griffith even remembered there were others around him, or if he had completely shut them out. Casca and Judeau were staring in uncertainty, and not far back up the road it was easy to see Rickert, Corkus, and Pippin in earshot of most of their conversation. Griffith didn’t falter, though. It was like all he could see was Guts, and perhaps they’d have to find an excuse for his vulnerability later for the others. Guts could sympathize, though. The feeling was mutual.

My comments:

You can never go wrong with a duel in the snow au, and this fic is no different. The characterization of Griffith here is really great too and probably one of my favorite takes of him for this scene in particular

This Fleeting Dream by Queenbananya

Summary:

"To me... they are not friends. A friend is someone that is my equal."

Perhaps it was the way his thoughts had strayed in that direction, or simply how attuned he was to the movements of his soldiers. His eyes could always find him. Guts stood there, listening. And in his eyes, there was heartbreak.

Or, Griffith catches Guts listening in his famous fountain conversation with Charlotte and follows after him. Essentially, an exploration of his character and feelings for Guts.

My comments:

A very interesting take on a "Griffith clearing everything up with Guts after he finds out he overheard his dream speech at the fountain" au. Equal parts fluff and equal parts angst

Forever Facade by TheriOlis

Summary:

Slan has come to see what manner of flower grows atop the bones buried beneath Griffith's garden.

My comments:

The GriffGuts in this fic is mild but as the resident Slan thirster, I need you all to read this because it's really fucking good. NeoGriff being egged on by Slan for nearly 2k words? Yes, YEs, YES

Recoil and Grace by aloveleyburn

Summary:

Their fingers wind together in the darkness. Outside there is that ever-present chirping of birds and insects – the music of those dark hours, calming as cool water. Outside some car alarm goes off in the empty streets, and on the bedside table, clock reads 2:47am.

My comments:

There are so many words that I could use to describe this fic, but I think I'll just settle on 'quintessential'. I can't remember the last time I was so enthralled by a fic, so glued to my screen and absorbing every single word in front of me. The way that Ariel blends the two storylines into one in such a flawless manner reminds me of a weaver stitching together two scenes in a tapestry. Each thread is connected in a way that matters.

If there's one fic you walk away with from this list, I hope that this is the fic.

Property by starry_dynamo

Summary:

“I’ve wanted you since the moment we met, and if the reason you never returned my advances was that you felt tainted by that scum from your past, I will carve him from your memory. You are not his. You belong to me, and I want your body to never forget.”

Griffith learns why Guts has a problem with intimacy. Guts learns he has another purpose.

My comments:

BDSM to cope with trauma. That's it. It's nice and sweet and hot at the same time.

Geleotto fu il Libro by Ghidorahs_child

Summary:

"I have nightmares of you leaving me."

My comments:

GriffGuts gets ready for bed together! Featuring book talk, insecurities, and lots of domestic fluff

Steel Groove by Maplekites

Summary:

The Hawks enjoy celebrating anything they can.

My comments:

GriffGuts, my dancing queens

Completed Multi-Chapter Fics

When Night Comes Down by alovelyburn

Summary:

"If you stand far enough outside the tapestry, you can see the many threads and paths unwalked. The points of change can be so tiny they go unnoticed at the time... though the ripples travel for centuries and more, into eternity. Yet, in the end, all paths lead to one path. There may be deviations, yes, yet still we dance that same dance, with the steps assigned to us by fate. It is inevitable. One must die to resurrect. One must fall to rise."

My comments:

This fic is my Roman Empire. If Apostle!Guts is your thing, this fic is the perfect fic for you.

Ongoing Multi-Chapter Fics

our castle was always made of sand by meereens

Summary:

His life was easy to understand. Mother liked to tell him stories, wrapped up in their canopy bed with warmth crackling in her words. He was born from a real-life fairytale, everyone knew it, from a dashing knight’s love for a simple princess.

Queen Charlotte and King Griffith's young son uncovers something he was not meant to know.

My comments:

This is THEE GriffGuts kid fic (and the only one to my knowledge too haha). It's the perfect "Griffith gets guy and the throne" au and really explores what GriffGuts would look like from a child's perspective, specifically Griffith's son's perspective. I know that kid fics can be annoying with the way some people write kids but trust me, William Leopold Guts Charles Wyndham is the cutest little guy ever and I would lay down my life for him.

Fic Series

Sehnsucht by SeaDragons (SimpleNefelibata)

My comments:

GriffGuts: Hurt no Comfort the Series

#berserk #guts #griffith #griffguts #violetposts.exe

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fromdarzaitoleeza · 4 months

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Ahh it's the last day of 2023 already?

I am expecting a call from a friend although the possibility of this happening is very slim it always felt nice to hear the voice of an old friend ( I'm not a text person I've realised this over time but I am stuck to be a text person) .

I can't wait for spring to come in 2024 , spring provides an intense amount of healing to my soul.

The next four months are very crucial in my life if they go well I can survive the rest of the year, I have died a couple of times this year and I am amazed that I am alive i didn't honestly thought i would make it to the end of this year ( especially in the last 3 months , I badly needed help but i didn't wanted others to pity me so i spoke to none about it ) anyways I don't want to talk about it , i don't want to make it sound blue than it already is,a i am really sorry about the fact all my posts are blue I sincerely wish it wasn't that way( altho i haven't posted anything here with as much as devotion I use to do , partly cuz i created an Instagram acc but that's not all reason I ve been sad nonetheless) and sorry for all the "anon/asks" that i haven't answered

I have made no achievements this year and there is little to no progress towards my self love or self growth, but I think that's okay I can do it in the upcoming year, time flies so quick i can't believe Its been so many years since I was 16 I miss being 16 honestly I had more in me back then than i have now , i have lost of confidence my vision and my smile over the years it's as if I am very different person now , i certainly wish I wasn't this way i really thought i would be so much more and better in my early 20s but it is what it is , acceptance is haredest of all emotions in my opinion , you know things are harder to accept when you know you could have done better .

Just like in the last 2 years even this year I didn't make any real life friends with whom I can hang out with i think it's partly due to the fact some people are destined to be alone and I am afraid to admit I am one of them , I did make 2 online friends this year .

I don't want to share any life lessons i learnt this year but if there is something i would love to share is choose yourself one more time each time you feel it's the last time you are doing it , choose one more time to live,one more time to hope, one more time to have faith , one more time to start again [ the fact I am the one telling you this is rediciculosly funny ] .

Unlike most people i don't have a lot of goals for the new year I just got things i want to avoid ( idk if that's the same thing?) Avoid my leftover heart's heartbreak, avoiding what takes away my peace, avoiding what can cause me discomfort, avoiding things that make me question myself ( in any negative way) ,i think that's a little too much but that's it .

As I was writing this Google photos sent me a notification saying " 3 years back today with a photo of mine " and it broke my heart a little, now I am questioning myself how did i let so much happen to me , I wish I treated certain things as the last time instead of always stupidly believing in future ( my worse trait yes).

There is a lot to say as always, i wonder if I open my mouth i would never stop sharing things that go inside my mind , but i also know there is no use of it if i can't find people who can understand it , maybe that's how I end up ranting here .

Not to mention I love people who are patient, i believe in the near future i would only like to talk with people who could be patient with me and with my silence . I believe everyone deserves people who can be patient with them .

Nothing really matters in the end but at the same time everything you do matters ❤️‍🩹

#i was awaken by a dog crying near my apartment and soon other dogs joined him #i am half awake half drowsy

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cozycottagetarot · 1 year

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First Impressions Reading

Notes--

Hey, it's been a while!

I've been MIA for practically a year due to work, poor health, and school. Thankfully, I've recovered from the aftermath of working that job, I'm still figuring out my health, but my studies are almost officially over leaving me with time to get back into tarot reading once again (yay!).

I've kind of changed up my reading style so if you're familiar with my old readings I'd love to know what you think of this style vs my old style. I don't think it's that different, but who knows.

Anyways, I think that's all the housekeeping for today. The usual disclaimer is at the bottom, enjoy your reading!

Pile One

Hi Pile One! So just an fyi, I feel like what I’m picking up on in this reading is multiple first impressions? I know that doesn’t sound like it makes any sense. But your reading I feel picks up a lot on your person’s past at first and then a romantic/companionship first impression later? Like a friends-to-lovers kind of thing.

Right off the bat I feel like your first impression of your future spouse is startling. As I’m shuffling the cards are jumping out, I’m get startled, I’m trembling. But it’s not necessarily in a bad way. Looking at the cards, the ‘vibes’ are complex. The cards flip over but stay hidden in the deck. Oddly enough, it’s not the cards with negative connotations, but positive ones. Like your person hides the better parts of them… maybe in the name of vulnerability.

When you meet you can sense they're healing from something upon first impressions. Your person may have walked away from a lifestyle that many would desire or some kind of association with wealth that was actually killing them from the inside out. From your first one-on-one interaction, you can tell that the wild inside them that’s had to escape and survive gets triggered easily. It may show up in their work or their self-talk. You can see they’re trying to fight their inner battles, but they may need a friend to help them do so.

You may meet them at the end of a significant period of healing for them when they have to face the heavy stuff of their past. You may feel like their perspective of life, be it all of it or one aspect, isn’t very fair. I don’t want to say they have a pessimistic view of life in general, but maybe their life in particular. To you, one bad thing happening doesn’t mean the end of the world but for them it does. Initially, you might not think they care to hear what anyone has to say but that is untrue. They might simply be off in their own world as most of the people on the cards are looking down or turned away, yet their cards symbolise openness and communication. For some of you, your person may just be shy and it’s easy to pick up on in your first meeting.

When the time comes to show interest in a romantic/companionship relationship, they might approach the subject gently. They’d want to be your knight in shining armour (as in they want to take care of you even though you can handle it yourself), but they recognize that as much as they’ve made progress, they still have some healing to do. Once they’ve gone through the darker stuff, they have a much lighter energy to them. You can see it in their appearance, habits, speech and general demeanour. You may notice that they are more spiritual (by your own personal definition). For some you may drift apart briefly (a couple months) and when you reconnect you gather that they’ve become dedicated to growing and nourishing their peace. You may also pick up on a wisdom that they’ve gained from their healing journey.

Pile Two

Pile two, I am loving you person’s energy! This person is calm, cool and collected. They’re not one to tell out all their secrets and they are 100% in their power. There are a lot of hands in the cards as well as imagery of fencing to enclose something. Your person may quickly and easily give off vibes of being guarded as people may chase after them and what they offer.

Your person gives off vibes of being hardworking and they definitely are. However, you can tell they work so hard one of the first thoughts to cross your mind will probably have something to do with “they’re gonna burn out if they don’t relax”. Them burning out isn’t something that happens often tough and when they do, they hide it well. People, yourself included, may wonder how this person can juggle so many things at once so well. They’re resilient and indulge in their many tasks in moderation, even when it means pissing someone off. They know their limits and that’s something that will be evident to you when you meet.

Communication seems to be a big factor in how they make an impression. For pile one *spoilers* it appeared that one of the ways they get their impression from their person was based on what their person was saying. For you, it’s how they say it. Your person has excellent communication skills and has prominent leadership vibes. They may work in a position that requires them to lead multiple groups or teams, or at the very least, you can see they have the qualities of a good leader.

First impressions for you most likely show this person is well off, and honestly a bit of a person of desire. They don’t pay people much mind though. You can tell if you want their attention you have to show you’re genuine. People either want them in a romantic sense or for the material things they have to offer. For some of you, they may work in finance as a manager for company accounts.

Some way somehow, you may be able to tell they’re crafty… in a clever sense and/or as in literal crafts. They’re creative but in a practical sense. This person is the type of person who gathers ideas from EVERYTHING and can make an inconvenience work for them. You may also gather that they’re someone always looking for a way to improve themself.

From the first conversation(s) with them you can tell they think about their legacy and what kind of impact they want to leave behind.

Pile Three

Your first impression of your future spouse is less about them specifically and more about the general feeling.

I think for many of you, this person might come into your life when you’re least expecting it. They feel fated… You’ve got the Wheel of Fortune so it’s like meeting this person was going to happen regardless. They most likely will feel like the start of a new beginning. It’s not a prominent feeling, but you will be able to recognise that something inside you shifts.

Your person is someone who upon first meeting changes your perspective. For some, they may spark the desire to improve in some format. They may be older and/or wiser, but you can tell it came from hard work and hard life experiences. Yet there’s a gentleness to them, as though all the things they may have endured only made them softer. They may seem too good to be true. You or they may be going through a transition in life. An unbecoming, I hear. Some of you might need to make a decision and this person helps influence it.

Your feelings/impression of this person— You can tell this person is respected. They’re level-headed and a good communicator. They’re someone you can connect with on many levels instantly.

I feel like there’s not much to say about this person. It’s kind of a 'when you know, you know' type of situation. Meeting them is like an exploration of yourself as well as them. Generous and gentle, they may do a lot of volunteer work. There’s a homeliness to them and an unspoken strength. They’re someone you can lean on.

I know I’ve said it already but the energy of this person feeling like & being a fated new beginning comes through very strong.

They could also signify a fiery romance, adventure and passion. The energy they exude resembles letting loose and not caring what someone thinks. They may influence you in this way, inspire you to be authentically you. From the first meet, they’re a leap of faith.

No specific thing comes to mind because last minute I got the lovers. Just a heartwarming feeling for you all about this person.

Also, they’re physically attractive, not just by your standards though. Most people would see them and agree they’re pleasant to look at. (Someone tell me if that’s how they interpret physical attraction as well lol).

Pile Four

*Minor Language

Okay so meeting in a kitchen or the medical area immediately jump out at me. Of course, that’s not the only scenario in which you could meet but it definitely comes through the strongest. For some of you, this is someone you know and have been trying to outrun for a lack of a better word. You may think you’re polar opposites but I don’t think you are. Taurus energy comes through strong, so they may have strong Taurus placements. You and your person may be similar. But there’s definitely that vibe of ‘oh great, you again.’ kind of enemies to lovers.

Brief story time to help you paint the picture. The 'polar opposites but not really' remind me of my sisters. Both of them are a Taurus. They always clashed when they were younger. Sister A would complain about Sister B as if she didn’t do the same exact thing Sister A was pissing her off with. It was equal parts annoying and amusing. However, now that they’ve kind of ‘separated’ and both reshaped themselves in new environments, they’re closer than ever… but they’ll never admit it willingly. If you’re still with me, hopefully, this will help make the rest of the reading make more sense.

So I had to redo your reading because I couldn’t interpret the cards clearly the first time around. However, I was definitely picking up on the whole enemies or at the very least ‘mutual nuisances’ to lovers first time around. I had also picked up that this could be an LGBTQ+ relationship for a few of you.

You most likely have a prior impression of this person or you two just don’t click upon meeting. The first scenario comes through strongest so that’s the one I’m reading, but of course, interpret as you would like. In the situation where you meet again, you may be frustrated with them initially, but you two have to come to peace, most likely for a business endeavour or something career-related it seems.

I see you keeping your eye on them though. They seem trustworthy but you know what they were like in the past. If it’s a completely new person, you can pick up that they may be a bit of an ass. You might be very in your head about them after your ceasefire and at some point have to take a step back and assess yourself. Some of you might know this person from as far back as childhood. You might notice this person has actually grown a lot and come to the realisation that you have to hold them to a new standard.

Some of you, you may be jaded towards this person because they broke your heart. You may be exes or there may have been a third-party situation where they chose something else over you. It could be a person that was the third party, but it feels like it was you or an opportunity and they picked the opportunity over you. Maybe the same opportunity leads to them coming back to you better.

Your new forming impression of them seems to be one of reluctant admiration. Whatever successes you see them with now, they’ve worked hard to earn and you can see it. It’s in their work ethic the effort they make in how they carry themself. You’ll notice how intuitive this person is and/or how fast they think on their feet. They’re mentally agile and can handle what is thrown at them quickly and with ease. They could be very creative and adaptable or they may inspire creativity in you.

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I ask that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

#ariesmoontarot #pac #pac reading #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a pile #future spouse reading #pick a pile reading #cozycottagetarot #tarot reading #pick a picture #tarotblr

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jinkookspencil · 7 months

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the quest | ksj

your boyfriend's friends are a great help on your quest for a new hobby, leaving him feeling... irked?

description/tags: kim seokjin / established relationship / angst + a little fluff (the angst slowly builds until it's basically hurt/comfort) / feat. the rest of bts / jealous boyfriend jin / pov switches from yn to jin / no trigger warnings i'd say pg-13 / request from this anon! i hope you like it, sorry it's taken me so long, i wasn't feeling the best. i don't know if that feeling had an impact on the fic - i felt such an urge to rewrite the whole thing and start from scratch because i read it over so many times! that'll just take much longer so.. i might rewrite this sometime in the future or upload a shorter version since it ended up being my longest work ever???

wc: ~8k words

Statistics and relationship coaches claim that every introvert needs an extroverted partner. The extrovert to ‘bring the introvert out of their shell and live a little’ and the introvert to show the extrovert the value of rest and healing in solitude.

But no one who believed any of that crap had met you and Seokjin. You and Jin fit together like the pieces of the puzzles you two loved to solve together on the weekends.

The two of you were too alike: introverted souls with charming social skills and a small group of friends who ultimately loved staying at home and indulging in your stress-relieving hobbies in much-needed peace and quiet. Or so it seemed.

Early on in your relationship, Jin had boasted about his gaming skills to no end, so his irregular, prolonged gaming sessions came as no surprise to you, but considering this, what had been so surprising was the number of friends and hobbies he actually had.

Sure, you had your fair share of the same as well, but Jin did so much more than he ever let on: snowboarding, tennis, fishing, golf, and cooking, to name a few, and he carried them out with friends of all ages, from grandfathers in their sixties who he loved cooking with, to careermen in their thirties he played golf with on the weekends. When he finally invited you to see him in action, you quickly found out that it was as attractive and inspiring as it was surprising…

“All this because I sweat when I play tennis?” he said when his breathing finally returned to normal following his high, still lying naked on the living room couch after he invited you to watch him play.

“Yes… just like you’re sweating now,” you murmured, sitting up from your position between his legs and admiring Jin’s glistening, flushed skin as you grazed his chest and traced the muscles he loved to hide. “I don’t think I ever got the whole ‘jock’ thing being attractive, but it was hot… seeing you all sporty. I wish I could be like that... I want to be. I need more hobbies.”

“What do you mean?” Jin says, sitting up. “You love to read. Everywhere I turn, I see books - if there hadn't been a bed in your old apartment, I’d have thought it was a library, and now my - our - apartment is beginning to look like one.”

“I’m in the worst reading slump of my entire life. I need to do something different. More hobbies. More friends. The girls are great, but… seeing you, I feel as though I want… more. I want to be a better version of myself - and for myself. Don’t they say that happens to you when you find the right person?”

Jin’s lips meet yours once more, briefly, before he pulls away and opens his mouth to whisper. “I understand striving for ‘better’ or ‘more’ baby, but I hope you know that you’re enough. You’re always more than enough. Just the way you are. You’re good. You’re great. You’re beautiful. I love you.”

The simple yet significant words, coupled with Jin cupping your face and brushing your hair to the side, were just what you need at that moment to put your mind at ease, and you easily fall asleep in Jin’s arms.

The quest for a hobby was supposed to be simple. Try, and try, and try until you saw what would ‘stick.’

It was clear early on that your boyfriend’s hobbies would never be yours.

Jin begrudgingly demoted you to ‘his sous-chef-for-life’ when you nearly burned the house down three times in your attempts to surprise him with dinner.

His own gaming etiquette got in the way of you ever enjoying a good game with him, for he had no patience with newbies, and you didn’t have the patience to learn all the controls. The only good that attempt did was him buying you a PC and every gaming accessory possible in your favorite colors, even though they mostly went untouched. For his sake, you’d use the Switch controller whenever he insisted on a game of Mario Kart, and you visited your PC every now and then for a slower game. “I’m a GAMER. AND I cook. AND I fish, too,” you tease Jin every time you play Cooking Mama and Animal Crossing for all of 15 minutes.

Fishing, on the other hand, was a scene from your worst nightmare. Being woken up at the crack of dawn to maybe catch a fish after hours of waiting while seasick… was something you swore to Jin you’d never do again. Luckily, he seemed to prefer it as his usual “boy’s time” anyway, even though he never voiced it, and you quickly found out that the exact same could be said for golf - but neither of you minded the occasional role you played from the golf cart, seeing your boyfriend in action and matching in the most bougie athleticwear on the market.

Tennis… was a sight to behold. You had always said that when it came to Jin, attending some of his practice sessions just to bask in the sight and sounds of him on the court, but the same could also be said for you, though in an entirely different context. The racket seemed to reject your very being, flying from your grasp on numerous occasions and putting Jin’s trainer at risk as well as the general public when it went flying over the court’s walls and onto the street. Jin went so far as to dub it ‘the most memorable tennis day of his entire life,’ despite the fact that he had won a small championship.

Until snowboarding season came around, you were left without any new skills or passions shared with your boyfriend. His support and endless words of encouragement meant the world, but iIt had to have been for the better that none of his hobbies were yours - you understood that those were spaces he needed for himself and didn’t want to be the girl whose entire hobby or life was her boyfriend.

Nights and days he spent away were left entirely in your restless hands - try, and try, and try….

“Are you seeing Mina tonight? Nana? Girl’s night?” Jin asks as he puts on his coat.

“They’re still sick,” you pout. “I’ll be waiting here for you, baby.”

“Do you want to come along? Mr. Baek’s kitchen is always open.”

“Didn’t you say you were making some kiwi pie thing today? You know I’m allergic.”

Jin resigns, taking off his coat. “I’ll stay, then.”

You don’t allow him to, handing the thick, fleecy material back to him. “No, baby, I’m fine. Tonight, I’m trying out a new interest: European classical movies. Apparently, French films from the 1960s are very influential and artistic.”

“And boring,” Jin adds. “I watched some at university. You’re better off with Asian cinema.”

“I’ll leave that for whenever you’re free, then,” you say, anticipating the day but quickly putting the thought away. “I’ll be blasting this film so loudly, not even your ‘soundproof’ gaming room would be safe from its jazzy soundtrack.”

Jin smiles before parting his lips, considering the words he was hesitant to speak. “What if… what if I called up Taehyungie and asked him if he’s free to hang out with you?”

You drop your head as you raise your brows. “You’re arranging a play date for your girlfriend? I’m a grown woman, Kim Seokjin. I can entertain myself, much like you can…...” Your voice trails off, thinking of all the failed attempts at entertaining yourself with different hobbies and interests that were anything but interesting.

“It’s just that I know Taehyung would love that! C’mon, you know he would! You seemed to be getting on with him whenever we see the boys, right? Didn’t you both fangirl over Frank Sinatra the last time we hung out?”

“It’s Bing Crosby, honey.”

“There you go - I can’t even tell the difference… but Taehyung can. For what it’s worth, he’s complaining in the group chat non-stop that he’s bored out of his mind. So… why not?”

Steps away from his front door, Jin could hear trumpets echoing from his apartment. Taehyung worked his magic, alright, he thought to himself as he inputted the keycode and swung the door open. Jin expected to see the two of you lounging on the couch, watching the film, or simply having the music play through your vinyl player while you chatted away with a glass of wine. What he did not expect was to see the two of you drunkenly dancing in horrible fashion with intertwined hands and Jimin laughing his head off from the couch.

“OH! Speak of the devil!” Jimin cheers, seemingly sober. “Jin-hyung, save me from these two - please.”

In a second, you rush to Jin, screaming his name as you wrap your arms around his neck and messily kiss him on the lips. “Thank God. I can do as the song says and finally dance with mon cherie. Tae, mon ours, go sit.”

A pout appears on Taehyung’s face as he plops beside Jimin, but your eyes are still on your boyfriend, attempting to manhandle him into some form of movement. “Oh, my baby,” he laughs, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “Taehyung, I expected you to take care of her.”

“And that’s why I called Jimin,” Tae babbles, forcing a not-so-innocent childlike expression on his face, pointing at their friend. “We-we’re staying over tonight, okay?”

“Seems like a sleepover already,” Jin tuts.

“Humor her, hyung. I was called in halfway through the film and we’ve yet to finish it because they keep repeating the same scene. She’s been saying she wants to dance with you all night like the girl in the movie does,” Jimin says.

“I’ve never seen this film. I don’t know what to do,” Jin says.

“We’ll teach you,” Taehyung says as tries to rewind the film to whatever dance scene you were talking about, in as bad of a state as you were, which Jin thought would help. “Jimin, stand up.”

Jimin does, allowing Taehyung to latch onto him, and thus is immediately suffocated by the weight of his friend. “Copy my lead, hyung.”

The following morning, Jin is as fiery as the breakfast he’s cooking up on his own, ranting to himself in pout while the three of you only watch on due to your shared lack of cooking skills, hungover and bundled up at the kitchen counter.

“Do you think yoga and meditation suit me as hobbies?” you ask the boys after you and Jin had explained how you came up with ‘the movie night to end all movie nights’ as Taehyung had labeled it.

“With your patience?” Jin scoffs, and you’re quick to shoot him a glare - it stung, perhaps more than it should've, so you quickly put the thought away. Nights alone and countless failed hobbies exhausted your patience, but he hadn't seen that... as you hoped. After all, Jin was always supportive and offered not only to stay the night prior, but also indirectly gave you one of the most memorable movie nights of your life with Taehyung. A soft glare was enough.

“That’s exactly what I mean! You need yoga and meditation, but can you do it? Sit still like that?" You open your mouth to argue but fail to do so at the sight of your shaking knees - he was right. "Oh, hey, you know who else can’t sit still?”

“Who?”

“Jungkookie. You seemed to get on with him, too, no? If you’re looking for something active, why don’t you let him teach you boxing?”

“We do pilates together too, twice a week, if that’s more your thing,” Jimin quickly adds, “You’re free to join us any time.”

“Yah, it’s not easy,” Taehyung jumps in, taking a bite of the breakfast that was now in front of him. “If you want to exercise your creative skills, which is a million times more fun, we can do a painting session together. Just for fun, it doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“Exactly! That’s what I’ve been telling her,” Jin says, pointing his hands in thanks towards Taehyung for echoing the words he'd spoken to you restlessly when you gave up origami and journaling. There had to have been some wisdom in the advice, you think, but your patience had been worn thin... how much more could one person try?

"She wants whatever she does to be ‘perfect’ at the very first attempt, but that’s impossible," Jin continues. "The only perfect thing in the world is her, but even she has to start as a beginner. That’s the point of hobbies - they don’t have to be perfect, you just need to enjoy them.”

“You called me perfect,” you blush, kissing Jin’s cheek. The reminder sufficed to get your legs to stop from beneath the kitchen table, now fiddling with the fabric of his hoodie. It was hard to envision being good enough or interesting, but at the very least, one person had seen you as such. Jin and his constant reminders were the only things that kept you from falling off the deep end... he never let you stray too far, even in your thoughts, nudging you towards Jimin when your head started to rest against his shoulder the way it always did when you needed reassurance.

“Pilates does sound interesting…” you mumble.

“Good!” Jimin cheers. “Tomorrow. You, me, Jungkookie.”

“Oh, but first,” you pause, holding Jin’s arm. His eyebrow is already raised, knowing you were about to tease him. “Are you sure it’s alright for me to go work out with your very fit and adorable young friends?”

“I am sure, brat,” Jin says, rolling his eyes before quickly whispering to Jimin, “Make sure Jungkookie keeps his shirt on.”

One pilates session with Jungkook and Jimin quickly turned into two, which turned into three, which turned into boxing sessions with Jungkook alone, regular morning jogs with Jimin, and a newfound love for fitness. Boxing made you feel stronger, and Jungkook’s thoughtful observations and comments were of more help and motivation than your now-shared instructor. And catching the sunrise at dawn really was as beautiful and as ‘worth it’ as the annoying health gurus claim to be, something you and Jimin begrudgingly admitted to.

Jin had been supportive as he always was.... up until the day you almost fainted, scolding Jungkook and Jimin for not being more careful of you and insisting you take a week-long break.

“But honey, I don’t want to stop so abruptly! I’m on a roll and I miss the boys already! And for the record, they are always so considerate. I messed up and did more than I should've, but I'm fine today!” you pout, laying on the couch with a hot compress on your core to relieve your soreness and snacking on a fruit bowl, as Jin instructed and prepared.

“My love, you’re exhausted. I don’t want to hear any more of it for at least five days….” he tuts, carefully placing kinesiology tape on your skin. “I hate seeing you this upset, though. You said you feel as though your brain ‘opened up’ when you began exercising, right? Well, why don’t you try exercising that beautiful brain? Take Taehyung up on his offer and take an art class together.”

So you do. Sandwiched between Taehyung and Jungkook at back-to-back painting sessions, you were inspired by their very different approaches to their shared hobby. Tae had his signature style that seemed to effortlessly flow out of him and onto the canvas every time, whereas Jungkook tried a different approach, concept, tool, or style at every session. Both boys seemed like natural talents, but you found peace and awe in Taehyung’s freedom of expression and especially Jungkook’s itch to learn and try new things so fearlessly time & time again...

It was hard to tell what you would create from session to session, slapping paint on a rough pencil sketch every time, but with every stroke of your paintbrush and conversation with the boys, you could breathe a little better...

“Ya, with all these colors… Is this what Namjoon-hyung calls ‘modern art’?” Jungkook teases, staring at your latest creation. You’re quick to poke him with the paintbrush for teasing you, and he’s quick to reassure you.

“It’s Pollock-y, dear Jungkookie the Artist Who Hates Learning Art History,” Taehyung explains. “It is art.”

to: my love [6:01pm]: hey, how’s the art class going? how are the boys?

to: prince charmjin [6:32pm]: good! we’re basically done!! we’re going out for dinner. jungkookie is hungry and i think I owe him for making him listen to my rant on the injustice women face and how society is built on misogyny

to: my love [6:34pm]: hehehe knowing jk, he was willingly listening, like i did. even he’d agree that you don’t him dinner. i made pasta at home..

to: prince charmjin [6:51pm]: aw :( we’re already at the steakhouse. maybe jk will be in the mood for pasta later too though

to: my love [7:01pm] have fun :)

to: prince charmjin [8:58pm] on my way home, honey. tae’s dropping me off. jungkook wanted to come but he’s asleep right beside me and he’s tae’s next stop.

to: my love [9:02pm]: good, they’re taking care of you just as i asked them to

to: prince charmjin [9:04pm]: they’re the bestest boys. i don’t need them to take care of me though. :3

“They’re my babies, and I love them,” you remark to Jin after showing him your latest creation, a matching one-of-three painted self-made pottery sculpture with the boys.

The younger boys were your safe space, he thought. Good. And… so am I.

“And I’m your biggest baby that you love the most,” Jin smiles, pouting his lips in want of a kiss. When you grant his wish, a feeling washes over him… one that he couldn’t help but identify as temporary. A seconds-lasting painkiller. “I guess you get the younger boys, and I get the older ones. I’m closer to them anyway. You’ve met them all, haven’t you? Namjoon and Yoongi? And Hobi, of course.”

“Hoseok is always here, Seokjin, so of course, but I think I’ve heard of Namjoon and Yoongi more times than I’ve actually seen or met them. Do they have any hobbies I can steal? The boys mentioned something about Namjoon and art?”

“Namjoon is art. In that he's beautiful and unbelievable, but also that he is interested in anything and everything art-related - museums, galleries, exhibitions, and all that crap. And fitness, so… there’s that,” Jin says, instantly regretting his words at the memory of Namjoon working out, grateful for remembering his friend’s most unenjoyable hobby to move on to. “Oh, he actually hikes! He meditates in the mountains like a wise old man afterwards. Hoseok likes dance, of course, but he also loves fashion. Yoongi likes fishing and drinking with me only,” Jin emphasizes, having always been proud and appreciative of the fact that he’d been the only one who was ever able to get Yoongi to join in on another’s hobby. “By himself, Yoongi plays basketball.... he’s studying, he plays tennis, fencing, he reads, produces, he scrapbooks, he gardens, he runs, he gardens, he flies, he soars! He actually might be Superman.”

You roll your eyes, prompting Jin to explain. “Sorry, inside joke with the boys. Yoongi does so much and is so secretive about it all that I wouldn’t be surprised if all of that is true. But he’d say he’s Batman rather than Superman, actually. I’m Superman… right?”

Jin places his hands on his hips, buffing out his chest and glancing at you through his periphery, hoping his extra hours at the tennis court paid off whenever you'd had an art or fitness session with the boys. He had to know if you saw him as such, as some type of Superman… especially after the countless times you’d trained with Jungkook and Jimin. Though he tried to push the thought away, the image bit at him, even now when was messing around. A seed of something he couldn't quite name...

When your hands are on his shoulders, trailing down his chest, he begins to relax. Even more so when you use his fork to finally take a bite of the dinner he’d prepared. Perhaps he’d been too worried.

“Well, we both know I don’t need saving, but I’ll play along, my handsome Superman. This Lois Lane wants to meet and investigate the interests of the rest of your Justice League, baby.”

“Okay,” Jin murmurs. “Who should we start with?”

“Namjoon? Hey, he’d probably be Aquaman, huh? Same nature shit, apparently, and definitely the same body.”

Perhaps he hadn’t been too worried.

to: prince charmjin [9:02am]: i am texting you from the beyond. from the spiritual realm.

to: prince charmjin [9:03am]: come climb up this fucking mountain and bury your girlfriend she’s dead and hates her life and didn’t pack enough water

to: prince charmjin [9:03am]: you’ll know the way, my blood, sweat, and tears left a trail

to: prince charmjin [9:04am]: i gotta admit it’s pretty tho (1 image attached)

Knew it.

Jin was rarely a smug man, but he couldn’t help but indulge in the feeling when he’d woken up to your texts and later when you trudged into the apartment, resigning from a hiking day with Namjoon and swearing you’d never do it again. He guessed you’d hate every second of it but didn’t want to hold you back from your mission and trying something new. His pride is quickly squashed, however, when you follow up the sentence with a declaration that he’d invited you to the opening of an art exhibit the very next day.

“I’m his VIP guest, honey,” you cheer, kissing Jin on the cheek. “And I’m going to the afterparty too so you can have a boy’s night - call your grandpa friends! Oh, it’ll be past their bedtime, won’t it?”

He forces a chuckle. “I hate that that’s true. Plus, I’ve seen way too many people this week, so I’ll game til the early hours of the day - just like I did when I was single.”

Jin hates that the thought had left his lips. It was honest, he had missed his gaming marathons when he never had someone to go to bed to, but it was cruel to mention. He hated the idea that some part of him meant it as such, as a signal, a cry, anything… you never said such words or guilted him when he’d been busy. It was spiteful, it wasn’t like him…. or was it?

“Oh, great! I know you used to love those game-a-thon things. I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t realize you stopped because of me. I hope you know you can do those at any time, okay? I won’t mind.”

Something turned in Jin’s stomach. The seed of what he could only label as worry was now an undeniable pit at his very core.

He should be ecstatic at the fact that you were so accepting of him possibly spending an ungodly amount of hours gaming… but it was too accepting. A smile was on your face, but for the first time in your relationship, Jin couldn’t read what it was - as though a sudden, unknown filter stood between you. Was it temptation? An unthinkable impulse he sensed on your end... Joy, relief, or freedom? Perhaps it was, Jin couldn't tell. It ate at him now, and instead of surrendering, he fought with what he had left.

This… this was the least he could do for you, he told himself, thinking of all the ways he came up short as a boyfriend where others succeeded.

He replayed the image over and over again - the way your eyes light up after every acquired skill or hobby. Your subsequent, beautiful smile seemed like the only thing he could hold on to, keeping aside the anxieties surrounding the reasons behind it. It had to be reminder enough. Seeing you happy made him happy. He knew that…. but he also knew that something dark festered within him. He didn’t like it… he didn’t like it all…

to: y/n [5:30pm] on my way home

to: y/n [5:35pm] just got here… where are you?

to: y/n [6:01pm] are you working out?

to: y/n [6:02pm] hey?

Jin needed to blow off some steam.

Gaming didn’t work. The incompetent online players he was paired with only infuriated him further, and the shot he took only made his heart race faster. He thought to spend some time in the kitchen, but he couldn’t help but overthink, indecisive over whether to cook dinner for the two of you or just for himself. When a thought came to mind - to cook something you’d hate just to spite you for not answering his texts and calls with no prior warning or explanation - he quickly discarded the whole idea. He wasn’t hungry anyway.

A best friend would do, he figured.

When it came to opening up, he could only ever trust his younger friends - the ’grandpas’ as you liked to call them, often gave him outdated advice he never cared for. Plus, they didn’t know him like the boys did - since they now know you as well, Jin figured it was the best-case scenario. Surely, they’d have something to say.

But another hour passes, and still, none of Jin’s messages were seen or answered. The younger boys hadn’t answered when he’d asked if they knew of your whereabouts, and the older ones didn’t answer his calls or texts to talk. His skin began to crawl…

until he remembered the failsafe. Out of everyone, Hobi was the only person who still revealed his live location on a social media app to his friends. It was something Jin in particular scolded him for, knowing it was a safety breach, but now, he was thankful for it.

Of course, he’s still at the damn dance studio.

Is that…?

Chills shiver down Jin’s body the second he hears the music through the studio’s walls. It’s a song he knows too well… and so do you.

Following the music with long and forceful strides that echo through the corridors, Jin bursts open the door to Hoseok’s own practice room. And his stormy intrudance is proven to be justified.

In front of the mirror were you and Hoseok, dancing too close together to a song from Jin’s secret sex playlist, surrounded by the rest of the boys, watching closely and making teasing noises that shook his very core.

“YA!”

Jin’s voice booms throughout the spacious room, overtaking the loud music playing through every speaker. The group scatters, every person with a horrified look on their face…. yours hurt the most.

Rage was unfamiliar to Jin. He didn’t know what to do with it, feeling it then and there. One would normally shout or yell, question and guilt, as he’s seen and studied before… but his lips were frozen in a frown. He wondered if it was common for one to cry out of fury, though no tears streamed down his face… he knew how to hold them back. His senses confused him, distorted, forced to venture into uncharted territory. Jin could hear differing calls of “Hyung” and what must’ve been excuses as someone turned off the music - all muffled and intelligible. Through it all, he could hear only the soft call that left your lips amidst the chaos, “Jin, my love…”

With his eyes still fixated on you and the words that ease his sole, the knot within him came undone.

His throat throbs and everyone knew what it meant, though no one was close enough to see the pools in his eyes.

“Everyone leave,” you command, and the room is empty save for you and Jin within seconds.

The downpour starts. Though his face was frozen cold, Jin’s body allowed him to move, and all he could do was pace the studio and ignore your small steps toward him. When he finally stops, you’re close enough to stand before him, your head no longer hung so low. The guilt on your face was almost enough to make Jin forget his feelings.

“….I’m so sorry, my love,” you say after a moment’s silence. His lips tremble at the words, wanting to refute them… he doesn’t need to say it for you to understand.

His breath is hitched when he sees your hand extend towards his face, which he tilts just as he always would when you did this. He exhales as you do when you cup his face so gently, moving to your touch as his tears are wiped away. But when your hand brushes over his mouth, he can’t bring himself to purse his lips into a kiss as he always would. The dark seed within him still tugged him back from fully diving in.

“Sit for a moment?” you ask, and he nods, feeling his knees giving way as you lead him to the two weirdly placed chairs by the giant mirror wall in Hoseok’s studio. While you sit with your side to the back of the chair to face him better, he slumps against the hardwood backing, staring at the ceiling as his eyes dry up so he can finally face you once again.

“I can’t talk much. I.. what is this? What am I?” he mumbles with a strained voice, pushing the skin at his temples. “Fuck… I’ve tried rehearsing this, and even then, the words just didn't come out. I can't put a name on it, but I don’t like what’s been happening. All of it. No… No, not all of it.” Jin breathes deeply before continuing. “My girlfriend is never around, and not only that, she spends all her time with my best friends… without me. I know you’re on your journey for more self-discovery and that you really like the boys, so I feel like a piece of shit for feeling this way and for saying this, but… fuck, I’m... I'm angry.”

Jin sees you take in his words, brushing away a couple of runaway tears. “I understand. You have every right to be pissed,” you repeat. “I… shit, I’m sorry, Jin. I never meant to exclude you, my love. The boys don’t either… but that doesn't excuse it... It doesn't." You go stone cold, as though you were replaying the time that's passed over and over in your head. "Will you allow me to talk for a little while? Can I… unpack it all on my end?”

How could he not? Jin nods.

“I learned a whole lot on this 'quest’ which started with your support, I may add - and I’m not blaming you here. I’m thanking you, honey… You’ve been incredible.”

Already, Jin starts feeling sick, hearing the words of a definite breakup speech and knowing that he was the furthest thing from incredible. His friends were. All he can do is watch, now looking at his fingers as he bites his own nails on an unsteady hand.

"Most guys would never even suggest to their girlfriend the idea of her hanging out with his friends - alone. I'm so grateful, honey, and not only that, it actually might be one of the sweetest, most attractive things you've ever done..."

H-huh? Jin tugged at his own sweater, thinking of the possible ways you'd get to the end of your speech and the conclusion that stated what he ultimately feared - that the attraction, or worse, the love, wore off with all you were left with.

“But most of all, I'm grateful. I'm different. I probably wasn't around that much for you to see, but... on this quest, it was as though I unlocked parts of myself I didn't know I had. That was a past version of me, the girl who was in an eternal reading slump, and was too scared to do much else but stay in that slumpish cocoon... I love my cocoon and staying in, don't get me wrong, but I just have more things that give me joy. I feel more certain of myself - like more of that confidence you rubbed off on me. It seems trivial, I know, but everything... everything helped."

You were right. Jin hadn't seen any of it - the rewards of your quest. He cursed himself, knowing he could have if he only paid attention, recalling warped memories of your pride and new experiments. He didn't have to take your word for it, seeing some of it now. You were more sure of yourself. Bold. Happier. That one note settled it - if this grand speech were to end the way he had expected, all that mattered was that. That you were happier.

"That's good," he croaks. "I'm proud."

"I'm proud of myself, too," you nod. "I am the slightly more improved version of myself I knew I could be. Maybe I could be even better, I don't know... but through it all, I kept repeating to myself the same phrase, over and over again. 'You’re enough. You’re always more than enough. Just the way you are. You’re good. You’re great. You’re beautiful. I love you.' Those words... that's what kept me going more than anything."

Jin's breath is hitched when he's finally able to look at you so directly, at the woman he loved with his entire being, quoting his own words. He had meant every word then, prior, all throughout, and would for eternity. If those simple words were enough to help, though he was certain they were not enough to capture the depth of his love, he had served his purpose in life.

"I was entirely motivated by self-love and your love for me, Seokjinnie. I fucking love you," you exhale, and Jin does too, coming undone. All he could do was hang his head low as the tears instantly return, and in seconds, you're at his knees, reaching for him. Like he'd foolishly been dreaming of...

"I don't deserve you. I've been so... so..." his low voice trails off.

"My love, let me finish, hmm? It'll help," you whisper, trying to hold onto any piece of him, and Jin lets you, feeling a rush through his very soul at him being called as such by you. He just hoped he wasn't awaiting more cushioning for a devastating blow... even so, it was one he was now reminded to fight for.

"I have to talk about the boys. I obviously enjoy the hobbies I do with the baby boys - you remember when I told you how I love how strong I feel now? How I feel creative for the first time since high school? That holds up, and in truth, the boys are just angels. I developed such a close friendship with Jiminie, Taehyungie, and Jungkookie that I don't think I can let that go. I just adore them…. and so much so that I’ve been trying to set them up with the girls - Nana, Kiki, and Mina.”

A breath escapes Jin, his fingers stroking his chin. It made sense, he thought. Nana and Taehyung in particular would be perfect together…

“I know you’re closer with the older boys, and I haven’t forgotten them. Namjoon is very cool, but… pretty much none of what he likes works for me. Hiking is as bad as fishing, no offense, and art is only fun when we’re mindlessly having fun in the studio. Otherwise…” You scrunch your nose at the thought, shaking your head violently in disapproval - the endearing act that never fails to make him giggle, even now. “The only reason we keep in touch is to talk books, which… you know I’ve always liked,” you explain.

Jin nods. You and Namjoon’s reading speeds always made him feel like a third-grader. You’d sooner finish reading a 700-page book than learn how to make a simple grilled cheese sandwich - Namjoon was the same. In a world where most people were not as such, at least you two clumsy nerds know of each other, he thought.

“Dancing was… always on my list of things to try, believe it or not. You were there when I brought it up to Hoseok,” you recall the interaction you’d had weeks ago, and so does Jin, who had been so taken aback at your suggestion to Hoseok, having assumed you’d want fashion or social media advice from his savvy friend. You’d never danced sober more than simply swaying, even on the most private occasions… there was never any reason for him to know dancing was always a thing you’d wanted to try... but then again, perhaps the 'new you' had been buried too deeply. But it took guts to ask Hoseok - he knew you knew that as well - the sheer courage and confidence that must've settled in only recently….

“But…. I pretty much told him that I didn’t want him to teach me anymore after the first lesson. He’s like… really fucking scary, Jin, holy shit. I know you've mentioned it, but I didn’t think he was capable of being like that! I thought he was going to kill me!” Another giggle escapes him at your shock. If you had simply run the idea by him, he’d have told you that already, he thinks to himself, as he did after your hike with Namjoon, but he chooses to say it out loud this time. “Oh, lesson learned, believe me, honey. I passed it off as me wanting a female instructor, which I do. Because well….I couldn’t tell Hoseok I wanted to learn burlesque dancing now, could I?”

“Bur-burlesque?!” Jin says, leaning forward as if it’d make him hear any better.

“Mhmm….” The faint, smug smile on your face calmed his heart - it’d been a while since he’d seen you as such - but it did nothing to calm his mind. Just the mental image of you…. “And pole dancing too. I keep telling my instructor that I want to surprise my boyfriend, so she helped me come up with some choreography involving… things you like.”

Jin’s excitement fades when he remembers - the song. “Was that what you were showing the boys?! When I walked in….”

“As if. That’d be for your eyes only, honey. When you walked in, we were just teasing Jimin about something stupid. The song just came up on shuffle.”

Jin shakes his head and stands up to pace the room, replaying the scene once again and scolding himself. Once again, it’s as though you can read his thoughts. “It probably looked odd from your angle…”

“Why was everyone there? Wait, was that Yoongi in here too?” It’d taken Jin this long to realize Yoongi had been present as well. Save for the makeshift therapy session Jin had wanted to have earlier in the day, he had been trying to schedule appointments with Yoongi all week - a needed fishing trip and a work meeting, but his friend only ever answered when Jin had been fast asleep. Had Yoongi been here for Hoseok? Jimin?

“My day started with Yoongi,” you sigh.

You?! The one person who knew of his desperate attempts to get to Yoongi?! he thought, so shocked he had to sit down, opting for the space on the floor in front of you instead of the chair.

”No secrets, especially since I’m laying everything out today. It was my first time hanging out with Yoongi, just so you know. I wanted to pick out a good anniversary gift for you since that’s coming up, and we went shopping for all these fancy liquors. Then, he was just meant to drop me off here at the studio, and after my lesson, I found out he just stayed since Hoseokie was already here in the other room with Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung. And Namjoon… he was just here, I guess. Actually, I think he’s hiding that he’s dating one of Hoseok’s dancers. The boys seemed to tease him about it?”

“Oh shit, good. He’s always had a crush on her,” Jin smiles to himself. It starts out as happiness for his dear friend, knowing how deeply Namjoon’s affections could run, and when the crush began. It was right at the start of Jin’s own relationship with you. At that time, for the first time in over a decade, Jin finally understood his friend. Namjoon loved love. He got so caught up in the idea and complexities of love, talking endlessly about how it’s the center of the universe, tying everything together. “It is science,” Jin would always rebuff until he couldn’t. Until he understood. He wasn't going to forget any of it again - not even for a second.

And once again, the woman he loved cups his face, searching his watery eyes, and kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"….Did you ever feel this way?"

You consider his words and think over yours. "Angry? A little jealous? ....Lonely? If that's what you've been feeling... Yes, sometimes."

“Then you don’t have to be sorry, my love. I’m sorry I got angry more than anything. I… didn’t like that. That wasn’t me…. was it?”

“Not the usual you, but it’s the human you. It’s within reason… I never saw you get jealous before, which is a green flag since I know you trust me - as you should! And I trust you! But still, as someone who gets jealous over you often… it weirdly reassured me, I guess? That you still want me.”

“…. Wait, you get this often?!” Jin blinks.

“Honey, I feel jealous whenever anyone follows their urge to say you’re handsome, which is very often. I always wish I could answer with ‘AND HE’S MINE’ and giggle like a little leprechaun who's hoarding a pot of gold all for himself,” you say with a tone so serious it makes Jin erupt in his signature dolphin-noise laugh for the first time that night.

“I’m always yours! And I always want you! Honey… this is a dark feeling. How do you deal with it often…. I… I never want to feel this way ever again,” he exhales, tugging on the fabric of your top before your hand covers his.

“I deal with it because you always remind me that you’re mine and I’m yours, like you did just now. Because you make sure I know you love me. I… I try. I promise I’ll try harder, my love.”

“No, honey, you do more than enough. I know you love me. I do. I was just… blinded, I guess, which I fucking hate. I… I thought I’d be stronger, better than to fall into this stupid mental rut.”

“You’re human. You’re my human,” you smile, hand slowly trailing down Jin’s cheek but lingering your touch over his pursed lips. Jin’s hands find your waist, and your arms immediately wrap themselves over his shoulders. When your racing hearts calm together in sync, and your breathing follows, the world falls into place and both of your meaningless defenses yield. Your bodies and spirits rest against one another, tired, aching, and longing. Jin wanted just this. To keep you close, for all eternity, if he could… if you’d wanted the same. He’s reassured when his attempt to tighten his embrace falls short, realizing how closely you’ve been holding him in turn. It was physically impossible to be any closer, and still, it wasn’t enough. Exhaling against you, with a hand somewhere in your hair at your back and the other holding your head, his senses overwhelm him once again. It’s too much, the love he’d felt at that moment. Dreamlike, even when he notices that his hand had been lying right over your bra strap. And he remembers even more.

“So… burlesque, huh?” Jin smirks.

“What do you think the chairs are here for?” Turning, Jin’s jaw drops when sees the two now-empty chairs. He tries to hide his excitement by covering his face when he sees you, sure it is red already.

“Oh, with a reaction like this, I’m definitely keeping it as a hobby then. I’m good at it too,” you smile, brushing his hair. “It’ll be good and all for you, baby. Painting random shit and fitness has been fun, especially with the younger ones, and burlesque will be for the both of us. But! My quest is not over, and my introverted self is not fulfilled just yet. I still have crocheting, writing, blogging, and photography to try out. I want something that’s entirely mine.”

“I promise that I support you with trust, love… always,” Jin thinks over his words, fidgeting with his fingers.

“And…I’m…..entirely yours,” he says quietly, a smile finally fixed on his face.

“And I’m yours,” you say with a smile, finally pulling Jin into a kiss that he can’t help but melt into. It’s soft, quick pecks and affectionate murmurs until you straddle his lap. Suddenly, it’s as though your entire mature conversation and successful attempt at communication never happened, and you replayed it all then and there. He reaches for you, pulling you down and onto him until you gasp. At that, Jin’s hand at your nape pushes you into his kiss, and you let him. He bites at your lower lip, moaning when you’re quick to do the same back, yet his sounds grow louder when he lets you passionately kiss him all over. In a fight for stability, he grabs onto the nearby chair and breaks away so suddenly.

“The - the damn boys are still here. I think I heard something break in the corridor - it’s either Namjoonie or Jiminie.”

You open your mouth to say something but don’t, looking at Jin instead. “If they’ve been trying to eavesdrop and want the gist of it, how would you like it if I fake moaned your name a bit too loudly so they know I’m yours and only yours?”

“It doesn’t have to be fake, though, does it?” he asks, leaning back on his elbows and lying in wait, positioned in front of the mirror. Seeing a turn in your gaze seconds before you pounce on top of him, Jin is electrified. Your name leaves his lips and his yours, not just as a moan but a promise. A quest of his own. To make you happier and happier for as long as he lived and more. To find a new way to love you every single day. You deserved as many as the universe had to offer.

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madam-whim · 3 months

Text

The Gold Road Reveal and my thoughts on it

I’m gonna start this off by saying I love ESO. I have been playing since 2017 and I’m pretty much doing everything the game has to offer. Quests, dungeons, trials, antiquities, sometimes PvP. That being said, this post will include lots of criticism that I feel (or know) is shared by many other fans.

But first things first, let me start off by listing some of the things on yesterday’s stream that had me bouncing in my seat:

The new zone is absolutely stunning! There’s a lot of variety to it and it does look very pretty. Exploring it will undoubtedly be fun and a feast for my eyes.

Also, Fennorian will be there, so I know there will at least be one well-written character that my Vestige has an actual bond with.

The scribing system being more of a roleplay thing – I don’t know what some people were hoping for, but I’m glad it’s not some Big Damage For Those Who Are Good At Maths kind of system. It still allows for a more unique playstyle, and I suppose it’s going to turn out like always: Do whatever you want in open world spaces, but keep your bow backflip heal out of veteran content.

And maybe the biggest “Yes!” moment of the evening: Ed Stark being the zone lead for Gold Road. While I did not like High Isle as much (too predictable for my taste, but at least it had recurring characters), he was responsible for Greymoor and Murkmire as well. I thought Greymoor was fantastic (good quests, excellent new characters alongside very familiar recurring ones), and Murkmire… well, I think Murkmire suffers greatly from being “the DLC that came after the Daedric Triad” so to speak. It kind of fell into the void created by a storyline spanning a full year (or even more, if you count the setup for the whole thing, which really began with the Varen’s ghost and Darien’s letter in Wrothgar and the Gold Coast sweetroll killer quests). I think that’s why lots of people don’t seem to like Murkmire very much despite it having great storytelling. My point is this: I do have some hope that after the fiasco some recent DLCs were story-wise, Ed Stark will at least make sure Gold Road makes sense.

And now for the criticism.

Ithelia’s design (Whenever, wherever, I want to kill Hermaeus…)

… yeah, about that. As one of my friends put it, she looks like Shakira with wings.

They really could have done so much better. The way she is now, as @akaviri-dovah said, she really just looks like a Meridia clone who somehow stole Jyggalag’s crystals, which is funny on so many levels (more on that later). Suffice it to say that I personally think the design choices are kind of lazy, given that we already have an angelic-looking Daedric lady.

Also, what’s with this picture? This kinda makes it seem as if she originally looked. Um. A lil different from the way she is now. In any case, I’m just gonna call this a missed opportunity for something more unique. I do like the glass shard aesthetic, I just wish they’d taken it in a different direction.

Dragon Break Princess Ithelia, or something like that

Now I know Dragon Breaks have to work differently from what Ithelia does, but I am kind of wondering what the consequences of her fate-altering abilities are. How do you alter fate in a way that threatens reality (with reality consisting of past and present events, with all possible versions of the future being possibly-real until one actually happens) without altering the timeline? Just by removing a possible future? Then one could argue that any Daedra could do the same just by manipulating people. Granted, it’s possible that Ithelia sees all possible futures and can do whatever she likes with them, but even then, she’d only be influencing what can become reality, not what already is. So how can she be THAT dangerous?

Right now, it just seems to me that they needed an adversary for Hermaeus Mora, and since his big things are knowledge, secrets and fate, and they couldn’t very well make a Daedric Prince of Anti-Intellectualism or a Daedric Prince of Snitching, she had to be a fate-altering type of Daedra.

At this point I’m still wondering how she even works, because how does she not accidentally cause Dragon Breaks? And if she is that damn powerful, how on earth did Mora alone manage to pretty much remove any trace of her? Which kind of brings me to my next point.

Memory Issues

I know, I know, Ithelia is not the first “new” Daedric Prince. (Which makes her stolen Jyggalag crystal vibes rather funny if you ask me.) And I don’t mind her being crazy powerful either, because so was Jyggalag or else he wouldn’t have been cursed. But that, to my knowledge, required several other Princes, whereas Ithelia apparently got owned by Hermaeus Mora alone, who then erased all memory of her. Which is not only quite the feat given how powerful she has to be, but also a very weird thing for Hermaeus Mora to do. I kinda thought stealing memories was more Meridia’s style. This entire part does not quite make sense to me yet and seems a little out of character, but well. By the way, speaking of Meridia…

Meridia-baiting the players

At this point, ZOS have to know we’re getting tired of waiting for villain Meridia. Everyone I know who is even the least bit interested in ESO’s storyline wants to see it. And I’ve seen people get their hopes up in recent days (new Meridia/Dawnbreaker-themed music box, the Ayleid ruin hint on the fragments sent to streamers…). Even in the twitch chat, there were people hyped about what they thought was Meridia, and who were disappointed when they were told it was Ithelia. And yes, I am absolutely saying they did this and made her a Meridia lookalike on purpose. But I’m well aware that we haven’t gotten any new hints about either Meridia or a certain someone since Greymoor, and that chapter will be four years old soon. Even I am beginning to give up, as much as I hate to say it.

By the way, I really did NOT appreciate Matt Firor name-dropping Darien right at the beginning. If you’re not planning to do anything with him, just let it go. I know absolutely nobody who appreciates being fed very tiny hints for two years and then being left in the dark for four years straight. If you don’t want to pick that storyline up again, just stuff the man into the Old Life quest and be done with it.

Honestly, once again, I’m gonna say this is a MASSIVE missed opportunity right here. ESO’s 10 year anniversary is coming up, what could possibly be better than to go back to the roots now and reward all those loyal players with the story they are waiting for? I distinctly recall Molag Bal telling me to watch my step around Meridia, and the setup is all there. I’m honestly disappointed that there is no Meridia content at all. And this ties in with my final point, albeit vaguely.

“Recurring” characters

Ah, yes, we do love recurring characters. Sometimes. We do love it when a fan favorite comes back – a character who’s accompanied the Vestige over the course of an entire story arc or has made multiple appearances over the years and has become beloved by many players, and, most importantly, who is well-written, i.e. has a unique personality. And that’s why “recurring characters” is not always a recipe for success when it comes to getting people hooked on a story.

It is when it’s one of the five companions, or a Ravenwatch member, or your main alliance buddy (Raz, Naryu and – oh, wait, yeah, us Covenant babies don’t have one anymore). It also works when it’s a character we’ve run across several times already, like Alchemy, who I know tons of people love, or my favorite walking disaster Revus Demnevanni.

But it’s certainly not working when it’s a character we barely know anything about, and who isn’t a hit with the community. Like Eveli’s brother whom I had to google because I could not remember who he was. He’s from a prologue quest. Nothing more. That’s not a “beloved returning character”.

ZOS have several of those just lying around, and they’re just not using them. And even the base game had so many characters that were there over the course of several zones, that were well-written and at least memorable to the degree that people would recognize them with just a little reminder, like Indaenir or Holgunn and Walks-in-Ash or the Vanos siblings. Hell, we haven't seen good old Vanus Galerion in a while. They are ten years old now and deserve to be dragged to the surface again.

Okay, I’m done now!

This concludes my rant (because that’s what it is, I’m aware). I just want to say again that this is not be dragging ESO through the mud, this is just me pointing out that the devs (especially the writers) could do so much better if they listened to their lore nerds and story-interested players more.

#eso #gold road #ithelia #hermaeus mora #meridia #long post #tes #intya rambles #i am still very salty about the whole meridia situation #and the unfinished business we have with her #and I don't like players getting their hopes up for nothing

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darkdevasofdestruction · 1 year

Text

Traditionally, I Love You ~ Bakugou Katsuki x Reader ***

Summary: A small, soft and very fluffy story where Katsuki falls in love with a girl from a traditional upbringing who learns about the modern life for the first time when she’s forced to get into U.A. Their relationship develops beautifully, and they take a step further, under the guidance of Katsuki, who shows her that being intimate is for pleasure and connection, not just for heir-making as she was taught. ( It’s going to be mainly female-pleasure focused, and an extremely soft Katsuki x )

Bakugou always prided himself with being the absolute best at everything, the future #1 Hero, and though he didn’t get in U.A. through recommendation like those privileged extras, he rightfully got the highest score at the entrance exam. He played it cool all the time, though even he had to admit, his enthusiasm may have gotten the best out of him at times - He wasn’t going to show his happiness though, of course not, he was above fawning over heroes and being in a hero academy - Unlike that dumbass Deku, he was so ridiculous, he couldn’t only laugh in his face. It was humiliating even knowing they were from the same class, let alone that he considered him a ‘friend’. Ha! As if Bakugou would befriend a Quirkless nobody like him.

Still, after a few weeks in U.A., on one morning when Aizawa was supposed to come over for homeroom time and say his good mornings, he brought over a girl around their age. She was dressed in a traditional outfit, and her hair, too, was long, worn and pinned with a pretty flower accessory, and her make up was white, with a little bit of red around her eyes, highlighting an almost cat-like look. She looked like a traditional porcelain doll. Bakugou didn’t even want to look at her - Too soft, he thought. Why was she here anyway? Surely, there was no way she wanted to be a hero, not someone like her.

But Bakugou’s ears perked up, as though he was some kind of animal - She was their new transfer student classmate. This girl who looked like she was being an actor ripped from a movie set in the 16th century sengoku era... She was supposed to be their new student. What a load of bullshit. There was no way she could have a proper Quirk... Unless she had a healing Quirk? Perhaps so - Apart from Recovery Girl, there was no one in U.A., or at least that he knew, who could heal others. Surely, for healers, there must be better schools, aren’t they? So why was she brought here to begin with?

“My name is L/N Y/N. I am going to be your classmate. Please, treat me well.” the girl bowed deeply at them, so soft-spoken that Katsuki couldn’t even hear her. Was she the shy-introvert type, or was this her whole persona, of a pretty, traditional girl? How clichee. Bakugou already hated her, though he couldn’t stand the overly loud and obnoxious kawaii-bullshit girls either; Their forced, high-pitched voices grated his brain to the point of over-bleeding. It didn’t matter though. Bakugou wasn’t in U.A. to get in a relationship. He was there to learn and train to his body’s limits, and far beyond.

Aizawa then informed them that Y/N was from a village with strict, traditional views, and she needed to be integrated in their society, as she doesn’t even know how to use her phone. The school was gracious enough to provide her with a good enough cell-phone, but there was only so far she could go, all by herself.

Of course, all those stupid extras fawned over her like months to the flame, they were talking to her, all at once even, and they all tried to explain to her things, different things, of different topics. Katsuki didn’t want to bother with her, or with all those fuckers, it was far too much of a drag, and he had more important things to be doing; Though, his eyes wondered of their own accord, lingering from the corner at the girl being ganged and chatted up by more than half the class. She looked overwhelmed having so many people around her, but she tried to keep a polite smile on her face. What a weakling. Yes, he could sympathise with being uncomfortable around people like that, but he would retaliate immediately and fuck them up real good, so they’d know never to bother her again like that.

The classroom was so unbelievably loud that Katsuki’s senses found themselves overwhelming - And they weren’t even in his ear! “SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY YOU FUCKING EXTRAS! YOU’RE TOO FUCKING LOUD - TAKE IT THE FUCK OUTSIDE ALREADY!” the boy slammed his fist into his desk so hard that the others thought it was going to break. Though he was glaring at them, the class now deathly silent, he unintentionally spotted a grateful smile, small yet tender, on the girl’s face. It was addressed to him. What, did she think he did it to save her? What an idiot! Stupid, old-school girl! She better not think they’re friends now or something stupid!

Katsuki slumped back down in his chair, and thankfully, as the class was about to begin, Y/N left, as she was to properly start her curriculum at the beginning of the next week. Of course, the only topic of conversation during the week was the new girl, and how everyone tried to text her, only to get ignored and wonder why. Did those idiots completely forget the new girl was technologically challenged? That she allegedly didn’t even know what a cell-phone was? Maybe that dumbass had no clue how to turn on the damn phone, let alone write and reply to their stupid-ass texts?! What’s so hard to comprehend, for the love of --

Bakugou was so over the whole mess with the new girl, that he hoped she’d never come back to U.A. But no, she did, and now she was wearing their school’s uniform. She had long and slender legs, beautifully sculpted, and the black stockings made them look even prettier, Katsuki noted, and the white shirt with the tie looked good enough on her. Her hair was done just as before, but she wore no makeup anymore, though her nails was rather sharp and painted black, as though she was a cat or some kind of predator animal. Katsuki’s ears widened slightly - Did he really associate ‘pretty’ with this girl? What was wrong with him? Gah, he had to do an active effort to avoid her now, who knows what other stupid things he’s going to think about without realising.

He spared her a quick glance, watching her take the empty seat two spots to his right - Her gaze was down on the floor, and her cheeks were red as her hands were trying to keep her short skirt down. Was she... Embarrassed with the outfit? Coming from a traditional background and having to wear only dresses that cover you fully, and now, a short skirt and a short sleeved shirt... Yes, that made sense, he realised. How was she supposed to focus on classes if she’s fixated on her insecurities. Even worse, that stupid grape dumbass had to fluster her up even more by flipping her skirt and commenting on her behind. Though she remained silent and got herself seated with no comment, Katsuki noticed small tears forming in her eyes. How annoying - She should have made wine out of Mineta. Why isn’t she defending herself? Why isn’t she beating that fucker up? Was she unable to? Did she really have such a stupidly weak Quirk that she couldn’t even fight that worthless fuckass?

Bakugou, and everyone else; They were all going to be left speechless soon. They were all wrong. They needn’t coddle Y/N, they just needed to help her integrate. She didn’t require pity by all means. She just wanted to be a normal person, around many other normal people. That was made fully understood, or at least, she hoped so, once, out of all the people in 1-A, Y/N chose Bakugou to pair up with for the 1v1 exercise.

“Y/N-chan, you shouldn’t choose Bakugou, he doesn’t hold back!” one of them said. “L/N-chan, don’t fight against Kacchan, he’s very, very strong!” dumbass Deku exclaimed in fear. “Y/N, he’s going to kill you!” another one of those damn extras warned her.

Instead, Y/N, now wearing the U.A. training clothes, the jacket zipped up fully, up to her chin - She walked up to Bakugou and bowed deeply at him. “Will you please be my partner today, Mr. Bakugou Katsuki?” The blond boy couldn’t only look down at her, scarlet eyes wide with confusion - Why the hell was she being so overly polite with him, he wasn’t 40 years old or something, what the fuck? “Yo, extra, stop calling me that. One same is enough, no lame-ass honorifics or something.” he grunted, though everyone seemed surprised that he didn’t yell at her at all. His tone wasn’t even raised, as usual, nor was his voice gruff. It almost felt as though he tried to keep his voice at an acceptable level, as to not overwhelm her senses. Was Bakugou being... Considerate?! “Yeah, sure, we can pair up, whatever. But I’m not about to go easy of you, get it?” “Thank you very much, Mr. Baku... U-Uhm... Katsuki...?” the boy found his cheeks warming up slightly, looking away. She was the first girl who called him by his first name like that, how annoying. Still, it was his fault for being so vague, and he didn’t want to confuse the girl more than all these new things already were - Might as well get used to this and suck it up. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” he muttered, shoving his hands deep in his pants pockets and walked away, to the side of the court, where everyone else was standing.

Aizawa had some pairs fight between each other - First, without Quirks, then, with them. Sero with Mina, Kaminari with Kirishima, Jirou with Yaomomo, Tokoyami with Tsuyu, Koda with Sato, Ojiro with Shoji, Iida with Todoroki, Uraraka with Deku, Aoyama with Hagakure; And no suprise, nobody wanted to fight against Mineta, but eventually, one of the winners would have to volunteer to fight him also. What a drag.

Katsuki’s match against Y/N was the last one, but also, the most anticipated... And feared. He unzipped his jacket and threw it on the ground, doing a little warm up. He liked fighting in a tank top only, gave him the mobility he needed. Y/N, also, though she looked incredibly bashful, took off her jacket. “No weapons, Y/N.” she nodded in acknowledgement at the teacher; Katsuki could only look quizzically at her, though he hadn’t the time to question her supposed proficiency in weapons. Perhaps a conversation for later on. “Have a fair fight. No Quirks in the first round. Go.” as with all the other matches, Aizawa spoke the drill, and the two students stepped away from each other.

Bakugou watched as Y/N’s demure visage turned completely blank and cold, and she was staring him dead in the eyes; She hadn’t taken any pose or stance, instead, her hands were held in her pockets, waiting leisurely. He wasn’t going to wait around until Y/N attacked, he hated waiting at all. Despite the gasps from the other idiots, he rushed in a blitz attack, like a bull at the matador, attempting to ram into the small, frail girl that was pathetically standing there - One punch was going to settle it all, no need for an overkill, he thought. The momentum was catching up, and it was time to strike.

But Bakugou found himself flying away, slamming into the ground and rolling pitifully. What happened, he wondered, looking at the girl who was returning back to her laid-back pose. He had to attack again and see what happened - This little idiot was tricky, and he had to learn her patterns. He needed only grab her, and it was over. No matter how tricky she was, her strength was lesser than his - The laws of physics dictated that truth. What he hated though, was that everyone was cheering her name, praising and encouraging her. How annoying.

He lunged at her from behind, only to get surprised once more, as she threw herself to the ground, backwards, and rolled into his feet, making him stumble and fall to the ground with yet another great thud, and watching with blurry eyes as she nonchalantly stepped away.

This time, he actively engaged in a veritable exchange of jabs - She was flawless in dodging each of his fists; And worse, her accuracy as she punched all of his vital points seemed to affect him; Bakugou grunted, his body instinctually stepped away from her. Y/N leapt forwards, kicking his thigh so hard that it made him kneel with a pained growl - She then used his knee as a stepping stool and used her elbows to hit hard on her opponent’s head, followed by a powerful blow to the temple.

Bakugou Katsuki was on the ground.

“YOU GO, Y/N! YOU’RE THE BEST!” Katsuki wanted to shriek with rage at all the praising and the cheers, none of them addressed to him. It was driving him into an unfocused anger, only to hear Y/N’s voice, washing over him like a cool, soothing river. “Please, do stop your unnecessary cheering. I and Katsuki are in a fight, and it is disrespectful and rather unprofessional to meddle with one’s morale. We are doing our best. Please appreciate our efforts and be considerate.” though her voice was soft, her words seemed to have enough of a harsh edge that it made the others stand up. She then stepped in front of him and crouched to the ground, extending her hand for him to take and get up. “Katsuki, let us continue our honorable match, please. I am truly honoured that you are fighting me with all that you have, and I respect you dearly.” Y/N smiled as she felt the boy roughly grab her hand and helped him up. They shared a few brief seconds of eye contact, and she smiled tenderly at him. It almost felt as though they’ve connected, understood each other perhaps. He didn’t know why he hadn’t felt compelled to yell at her, scold her for taking pity on him or making him feel lesser, weaker - Hell, he didn’t even slap away her hand. Why wasn’t he feeling as angry as before? He truly couldn’t understand it, but he found the fog of anger dissipating slowly, and finding his focus again.

Once back in position, Bakugou ran into her close area circle and engaged in another barrage of jabs, lefts and rights, roundhouse kicks and sickles; Still, she somehow managed to predict the moment he tried to charge at her with a more powerful punch - She blocked it with her arm, so well that she only slightly slid backwards. He was able to notice the exact second her face twisted in agony, for just a split second, though she didn’t even whine or cry from the pain - She was silent as a lake.

Katsuki took a step back and got in another stance, making the girl mimic him. Ever since he was in school, he trained himself, following various routines online - Of course he was familiar with fighting styles. He always thought Aiki, the style Y/N seemed to be an expert in, was for weaklings. In a way, he was right. In another way, he was proven wrong, considering how well she was able to counter him thus far. Still, he knew a little bit of everything; Surely, he could trick her into thinking he knows Karate just as well. His fists were tightly held in a basic karate stance, whilst she had a similar pose, though her hands were open. It was the perfect example of a Karate vs Aiki fight, a battle of Strength vs Softness. He almost thought it ironic, how well it described even them as people.

Neither of them move, analysing each other, every tweak of their body, every breathing, every blink of their eyes; Y/N’s foot was sliding forward, inch by inch, and he mirrored her move. Seeing as he, too, was approaching, the girl lunged at him, and he did the same. In a split second, Y/N redirected his own move against him, making him fly backwards, once again. “To think you would fall so far away... As expected of the strongest student in class 1-A. There is no one else with such incredible physical prowess.” Y/N praised him; If they weren’t fighting, he was going to blush furiously, but he couldn’t afford that during a fight. Later, perhaps, when he could blame it on the work out he was getting with this fight.

Once again, Y/N maintained no stance, and awaited Katsuki to lunge at her - He threw what seemed to be a hundred thousand hits her way, all of them at such speed that the others could barely differentiate them; Y/N didn’t flinch. She knew they were all fakes. Instead, as Katsuki attempted a real kick her way, she grabbed his shin, making him lose balance - He must have been expecting that though, as he twisted and ended on his feet. Such flexibility, fascinating for someone so tall and buff like himself. Praise-worthy, Y/N thought.

But L/N used her own hand to roll at the back of his ankle whilst he tried another kick, only for her to slam the heel of her foot into his chin, making him stumble backwards with a grunt. Everyone seemed to be greatly enjoying the fight, it was fascinating and far better than any of them was able to manage - Though they were still internally cheering for the underdog to win, they had to agree that they both were doing fantastic.

"I’ve analysed all your attacks, dumbass. I know your strategy and all your Aiki moves. You need a strong opponent, so you can counter with a move that equals their power, with yours attached to it. You don’t need to be strong yourself. But what would you do if I were no longer an opponent? I'm not going to attack anymore. Let’s see what you do when your weak-ass fighting style gets obliterated." Y/N held her hands in her pockets, watching as Bakugou kept standing tall. She chuckled, stepping around him. "Well! I suppose there's no need to do anything against an opponent who does nothing!" she grinned leisurely. "As a result, there will be no fight! I have nothing to lose, spending the whole match waiting and doing nothing - But you do! You want to win, don’t you? You know, if there is no victory, there is also no defeat. What an idyllic world we live in!" though she spoke, Bakugou had no other word to usher. He wasn’t going to respond to her provoking, especially as he knew she meant none of it. "... However, I suppose this is still a match, in the end. You're trying to come up with a battle of stubbornness. I guess you can say I'm proud that I could make even you come up with such an impertinent strategy, against some weak, inexperienced opponent such as myself. Truly, I'm flattered! Thank you for taking me seriously, despite my physical weakness." she continued. "Your techniques and mine - I'm far too young to say it doesn't matter whose are superior, or that strength doesn't matter." as soon as she found herself behind her opponent, she sprinted at great speed, hoping to reach his spinal cord;

Before she could incapacitate him, however, Y/N felt a pressure in her stomach, strong enough to send her flying a crazy length, and she stumbled over the sand, rolling pitifully on the ground. No amount of damage that she chipped from the boy felt equal to this single punch that connected. She had gasped like a fish on the land, trying desperately to get air back in her lungs. Her hair tie had broken, and her hair cascaded almost gracefully in elegant waves over her body.

As soon as he stepped by her side, Y/N instantly shot to her feet, long hair dancing beautifully around her, almost bewitching the boy with her natural beauty; though she leisurely managed to catch his wrist and throw him away, sending him off with a temple punch also, watching him slam his head into the ground. The girl was panting with exhaustion already, many minutes having passed indefinitely. “It takes a lot of energy for you to pull off such stunts, huh? Throwing me like that only makes you lose strength and stamina. I must be weighting twice your own.” Bakugou let out an amused breath, smirking, though he himself was sweating and needing some air. “You are correct. I am really exhausted. I have never fought anyone so equally before, especially without a Quirk. It is most fascinating. I doubt I could kill you.” the tired smile was enough to charm the boy, though he was confused at her later statement - What was it about killing she said? No matter, he frequently threatened to kill his classmates, it didn’t matter.

With both opponents standing, both taking their stances, Y/N slowly, but steadily inched forwards towards her opponent until their toes were touching each other; Bakugou readied his fist to punch Y/N's face - She managed to dodge, and with her cleavage, shoulder and arm, she was able to redirect his blow, making him stumble before he was punched down into the ground once more.

“Are you done playing around? I ain’t feeling shit from your kitten punches.” Bakugou scoffed tauntingly, and with a well-aimed punch, Y/N was sent flying across the court painfully hard, looking like a discarded ragdoll. The boy continued walking towards her, watching as she was stumbling and struggling to get up; She had a pained expression on her face, holding her head - She must be feeling very dizzy. “Lost your balance, huh? I’m ending it now. You fought better than those fucking extras.” he praised, readying another strike to finish the match, only to find himself stumbling forward as Y/N threw herself at his feet to trip him once more - In detriment of her feeling the vertigo twisting even faster. “What did you accomplish with that anyway? Are ya afraid of losing or what?”

Their classmates were yelling at them to stop fighting - Both of them were covered in scrapes, bruises and blood - But when Aizawa asked if they wanted to declare an end match, they both snapped at them all, a negative answer firmly rasped. Neither was going to take away from the respect they held for each other after such a fight.

Y/N was barely able to turn and flex her arm to receive another one of his powerful punches, though she couldn’t take it anymore. Her body felt broken, and she was barely able to get up and stand properly. She was clutching at her arms and hands, she was hurting dearly; Her eyes were glassy also, no doubt, wet from the pain she was enduring.

Even in that vertigo state however, she was able to dictate the flow of battle, slapping her palms over the opponent’s, and stumbling about, keeping the boy at bay, unable to move further - If he tried, she’d easily evade his move and counter - She even clinged to his wrist, stomping her foot flushed against his own, pushing onto it and making his trip. With the little energy she had left, she used his knee to grapple him, this time, more accurately, with her leg over the back of his neck - She pulled herself up in one move, grabbing a fistful of his hair and jumping behind him, grabbing him down and slamming him into the ground - The boy yelped from the excruciating scalp pain he was feeling, though his body could barely feel any other pain.

Y/N brought him to the edge of his patience, though he couldn’t deny he had been enjoying this fight dearly, but it had to end soon. Even he was feeling exhausted, his muscles aching for some relief. She lunged at him and tried to hit him at the same time he tried to deliver another powerful punch, only for her to somehow evade the hit - He needed a few seconds to realise how she was able to seemingly disappear for a single blink of an eye - She was smart and shrewd, she managed to evade his monstrous hit, simply by shifting her joints just a little bit, yet fast enough to create the illusion of not having moved. But the second hit, she was unable to parry or dodge, and she was on the ground - Y/N saw spots in front of her, and her vision had gone to shit. She was clutching at her head, her arms visibly trembling as she tried to get up from the ground, only to repeatedly fail and fall down. It looked far more difficult than any plank exercise, Katsuki thought, but she hadn’t given up. He was almost shocked, seeing the beautiful porcelain doll girl being so resilient and unbending, though he hated being the one to get her in this state, be the one to bring her such suffering.

Wait - Why was he pitying his opponent? She was worthy of fighting him, she was above those extras - He was praising her, not pitying her. He was strong. Stronger than most.

Once she was finally on her feet, hoping her head would stop spinning already, and struggling to keep standing; One of her knees was hurting so bad, Katsuki could see her leg repeatedly giving up; Despite all her agony, she found some place to muster up strength, and as Bakugou lunged at her, she got in a low stance, leaping at him, grabbing his wrists and pulling him forward, aiming for a barrage of hits at his vitals - When he was too busy blocking her hits, she side-stepped and tripped him, making him stumble backwards.

How much longer was she going to drag this on, when she had already fallen off the shelf and shattered? Had she no regard for her body and health? Hell, he could kill her on the spot, yet she was still fighting. His face must have looked almost demonic to her - He was going to use all of his strength on this last punch; The only way to win this was to knock her out, he realised, her resolve was far too powerful.

Just as they got in each other’s territory however - He stopped, just before his fist touched her face. His eyes were wide and lips parted slightly in shock, as the girl’s body completely gave up, and she fainted in his arms, just as she tried to hit him. She looked so small, so frail, so... Cute? He found himself wiping the dripping blood going down her chin from her busted lip, before picking her up bridal style - His arms were shaking like crazy, though somehow, he still found the strength to carry the flower-like beauty. “Bakugou wins.” Aizawa declared, nodding at the blond to go to the infirmary.

The whole walk to the hospital wing, Katsuki looked down at the peaceful face of the doll-like girl. Who knew she was able to fight so well, resist so long, even faced against someone as strong as him. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what her Quirk was, and he was almost upset he couldn’t fight her properly either. Perhaps another time; Next time they were to go on a 1 on 1, he was going to choose her, the same way she chose him.

“Did I do well, Katsuki?” an almost broken voice, yet surprisingly sweet, called out. “Hella.” his whole body rumbled with a chuckle, earning a lovely smile from the girl. “I am happy.” the boy hummed in agreement; The sentiment was shared.

That evening, when they were done with classes and Y/N was in a good enough shape, Bakugou offered to walk her back home. He wasn’t all that great at socialising, and definitely, neither was Y/N. Though the walk was rather awkward, they still found each other’s company seemingly comforting, and the tender smile she gave him when she said farewell...

Katsuki found his heart beating weirdly fast, and this time, it wasn’t from the cardio workouts he was doing. During their weeks at U.A., Bakugou had the two idiots sitting between himself and Y/N fuck off and change desks, urging the girl to stay next to him, under the pretext that she needed to be showed how to use a phone and what not. Of course, that was just silly, but he had no clue how to get closer to her, without looking pathetic.

It was shocking how with her sweet voice, she was able to sooth his nerves, lessen his rage and frustration, hell, with a simple touch on his arm, she was capable of making him stop yelling at those other extras, especially the dumbass, 1-braincell ‘BakuSquad’ as those idiots liked to call themselves. He hated them so much, it was unreal. He couldn’t understand - Honest to God, he couldn’t - She was just another girl, a classmate, a person just like any other, so why the hell was he always thinking about her? She was his first thought waking up, and his last, falling asleep.

Love, his parents teased him. Love, his friends teased him. Love, his own heart teased him.

Why the hell was everyone making him feel like such a fool, for having feelings for someone? To hell with them all, damn extras. He deserved better than this. Despite all the humiliation he felt whenever someone taunted him with what he felt, despite his mind yelling at him intently to run away and sever any kind of friendship he had with Y/N... He simply couldn’t resist her charm. She was so pretty, blushing as she had to show so much skin in the U.A. uniform, and even her Hero outfit, it resembled that of a priestess, yet instead of hakama, she had a lovely skirt with large splits that allowed for mobility and agility, giving the impression of being covered, yet when she moved, her legs were beautifully on full display. Her blouse also seemed to highlight her most graceful curves, and her sleeves were technically long, and could be used as pockets - Very practical, she loved that feature the most.

The first time Bakugou saw Y/N wearing her Hero outfit was during the USJ incident - She was so beautiful, he was lost for words, but annoyingly enough, so was Mineta, who continued making her uncomfortable - Of course, until he blasted that fucker all the way to the flooded area, hoping he’d drown.

But what was supposed to be a fun activity, playing as heroes, turned to be most worrisome, and Bakugou felt a spike of anxiety being teleported away and forced to wonder where Y/N was, if she was okay, if she could handle the natural tragedy landscape she had to go against, or even the villains. He had to get the hell out of there and search for her, make sure she was alright. Those worries proved ignorant however, as by the time Katsuki was out of the collapsing building, he, Todoroki and Deku were there, watching Y/N unleashing blue flames and... Killing villains with a long spear. She was aiding Aizawa, though not as anyone would expect. Y/N was definitely not the sweet little angel everyone depicted her as. Instead, she looked as though she was wielding the onibi spiritual fire of a fox spirit - And she looked like a malevolent Goddess doing so. She was ruthless, with no mercy. Bakugou felt a shiver down her spine, seeing all that blood - Only villains killed, that’s what they were all told... And seeing the girl he was crush on doing what villains did, it made his mind spin a little.

That worry completely dissipated once a blue haired freak and some huge-ass beast attacked them. His mind was running a thousand times per second, though his body was simply frozen, watching the small flower being crushed with such brutality, that he felt physical ache, as she laid there, in a pool of her own blood, yet still struggling to get up and save frog girl, grape boy and useless Deku from getting decayed by that freak with zombie hands groping him. Perhaps, if it weren’t for All Might coming over and saving everyone, they wouldn’t have made it out alive. It was completely maddening, thinking that, no matter how much they work, they weren’t anywhere close to beating the villains. How incredibly depressing, just like seeing the mummy-like bodies of both Y/N and Aizawa, as they came to school literally the next day, as though nothing had happened. Nothing changed for them - But it did for him.

How could anyone pretend nothing happened, when they had to be stronger and stronger and even stronger than the strongest, just to get even with those fuckers and ensue the peace of the country. It was pathetic, all of it, and since then, Bakugou began overworking himself to the point of physically collapsing daily.

The occasion to rise up and show how much he improved was given to him when the Sports Festival was announced. He tried to get Y/N not to compete, afraid that her body wouldn’t cope, still damaged - But her dismissive smile managed to convince him without much arguing. He could never say ‘No’ to her, for whatever reason. But he should have. Oh, how he hated himself for being unable to convince her out of it. She pushed herself hard enough with the first task, using the fire boost to get to the finish line, and then, he chose her in his team, to make sure she was fine - They didn’t exactly win, much to his dismay, but they got in the last task of the festival, which was the most important one - The 1v1 fights.

He fought Uraraka and he fought Todoroki, and in the end, he had to fight none other than Y/N, whom he had no idea how was able to get so far. Before the match, he cornered her. “Give up. Your body is failing you.” he trapped her on the wall, but that fox-like smile of hers shattered his resolve. “Don’t worry about me, Katsuki. I want to give you another honorable fight, this time, with out full potential.” he could feel his heart trembling with emotion just by hearing that lovely voice of hers. “What the hell potential, when you can’t even properly stand up straight?!” he protested, only to feel a hand on his face, gently caressing it. “Don’t worry.” that warm smile, and her touch... He couldn’t help but lean into her hand, grunting, his face flushing with love. “I know you will respect me and my strength. Fight me as your equal.” “Don’t go around blaming me if you won’t get up after I defeat you again.” he huffed, pushing her forward toward the fighting court.

Unlike in the match he had with Uraraka, he wasn’t going to be called a villain anymore. Not only Aizawa himself defended him, but even she yelled at the public. She had run on the pitch so shamelessly and started scolding the audience! If Katsuki weren’t so flushed up from the fight, he was going to be from the way his heart was beating at being portrayed as a strong hero. But now, he had to fight for the #1 spot against the girl he was crushing on. It would have been a privilege, were it not for her collapsing body. He hated that he couldn’t properly fight her, and he could see the bitterness she was hiding, hating her own vulnerability. They formed an indestructible bond from that fight - They value fighting, sparring, practicing together, it felt like their hearts connected indefinitely... Alas, there they were, with no choice. Neither of them could disrespect the other and give up, but it was oh so painful, fighting this way.

Still, Y/N fought him with everything she had, no matter how much she was hurting. She fought, and fought, but her mystifying blue flames didn’t even burn the boy - They felt like a warm caress at the sea side; But Bakugou’s explosions were so painful, so destructive, that he blasted the girl into oblivion.

This wasn’t a win. Bakugou didn’t deserve the #1 spot, not in this condition. He didn’t want to see Y/N laying on the grass, motionless. To hell with the Sports Festival, and to hell with everyone else. He ran to her side, holding her in his arms, brushing away her beautiful locks from her face, and picking her up, for the second time. It seemed to have become a rather amusing pattern for them - Fighting to the point of unconsciousness, and carrying her to the infirmary. Y/N smiled, nuzzling into his chest so cutely. “You smell like sugary caramel. I love it.” his breath hitched in his throat, unable to respond properly to such a compliment. “Sh-Shut up, stupid.” his face was even redder, and if the girl would see how she was making him feel, no doubt, he’d have said some pointed word to fluster him even more. Though she never said anything hurtful or teasing, she was honest to such a degree that it made him lose his mind with adoration.

The whole year, Bakugou found himself courting the girl - In his own way, of course - Everyone was making fun of him for dating, but he hadn’t the guts to ask her out yet. He got her flowers, and they hung around often; He even cooked for her at some point, and would buy her some pretty accessories - They weren’t expensive by any means, he was just a normal boy with some pocket money - But whenever he’d see a cute hair pin, or a bracelet, he couldn’t resist. Flowers were his favourite accessory on her though. She was very pretty - Pretty beyond imagination - Pretty enough to drive him so crazy that he’s unable to ask her out.

The situation only got worse when they had to move in the dorms, and they were basically together for so long, day and night, they were together. Hell, at some point when watching a movie on the couch, Y/N fell asleep, cuddling into his side, her head lulled on his shoulder, and he was unable to move the whole night. He guided her head to comfortably rest on his thighs and had Kirishima bring over a blanket to make sure she stays warm. He tried staying awake the whole night, playing and caressing her hair - But his sleep schedule didn’t allow him such a luxury, and by the time the clock showed it was 10 PM, he was long asleep also. Of course, the adorable imagery fell prey to their classmates photographing them and using the picture as blackmail material for Bakugou - Y/N seemed completely dismissive, even going as far as to say they look very cute when sleeping - But he couldn’t do it. He just wanted to blast those nasty fuckers to hell and back.

Katsuki wanted to ask Y/N out, honest to God, he did! He was just so embarrassed out of his wits that, every time he tried, he blurted out something completely random, and gave up. That is, until later in the year when they got attacked by some villains on the street, and Y/N received an almost-fatal wound for shielding him.

He hated her.

Only Heavens know how much Bakugou hated Y/N.

How DARE she do something like that?! He didn’t ask her to sacrifice herself to him - Can’t she understand what he’s feeling?! If she dies, he’s going to hate himself forever, blame himself for her death - How can he live, knowing that he killed the girl he fell in love with?! It was unfair - SHE was unfair! Stupid! Stupid! INCREDIBLY stupid!

He held her hand the whole day and night as she rested on the infirmary bed, and he shed fat tears, generated from the myriads of overwhelming emotions he was feeling. He was dying inside, and he wanted to rip his hair out; Open his rib cage and tear his heart out; He wanted to screech into the skies blasphemies and other foul words, blaming every living and unliving thing in this world, and any other universe, all for bringing this lovely girl into his life, making him fall in love with her, only to have her taken away from him like that. He couldn’t take all this worry and fear - Not at all.

“Fuck, Y/N - Don’t die... Please, don’t die. I haven’t gotten the chance to make you my girlfriend... To tell you how much I love you... Fuck... Please... Don’t do this to me. I can’t take it - I can’t do it without you.”

For three days, Bakugou was a mess; He couldn’t function properly, he couldn’t think straight. All he wanted was to hold Y/N in his arms and tell her everything that he was unable to before, he had to be strong, mentally, emotionally, physically - She saved him, she was there for him, she always cared and cherished him, helped him with his emotional instability and what not - And what did he do? He wallowed in self-hatred for not being strong enough to defeat Quirkless Deku, and now, to be the hero that Y/N needed. Pathetic, that’s what he was.

“Katsuki? Why are you crying?” Bakugou’s mind went blank, hearing that groggy voice that sounded gorgeous, even in this state. “You are too pretty to cry. Please don’t cry.” Y/N struggled to get in a sitting position, cupping his face and placing a sweet kiss on his forehead. “Your tears are breaking my heart. Please, don’t cry. Not for me.” she tried to comfort him, her thumbs wiping away the tears, only to be startled by his emotional outburst yell. “IF NOT FOR YOU, THAN FOR WHOM?!” he cried out. “I FUCKING LOVE YOU, AND I WAS TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING COWARD TO TELL YOU! YOU ALMOST DIED FOR ME! YOU ALMOST DIED IN MY ARMS! I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO FUCKING WAKE UP, DAMN IT!” still sitting in the chair besides the bed, his arms wrapped around her waist, crying in her lap; His body was violently shaking with each sob. “SO DON’T TELL ME NOT TO FUCKING CRY! I CAN’T - OKAY, I JUST FUCKING CAN’T! I WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOU, AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! IF I CAN’T EVEN PROTECT THE GIRL I LOVE, WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO RIGHT?!” he wanted to release all the bottled up feelings he kept hidden, but he was unable to. Y/N rose his face up, and kissed him. Y/N kissed him, right on the lips. Fuck, he must taste like salty tears, how pathetic of him, the boy thought. Still, those deprecating thoughts disappeared, as soon as he saw that beautiful yet tired smile of hers. “I am happy that you reciprocate my feelings, Katsuki.” he thought he was flying on clouds. “You can do anything you set your mind to. You are incredibly intelligent and strong - And I have all confidence that you are going to become the strongest hero out there.” with a tug on his arms, Y/N had the boy lay down with her on the bed, pulling his head to rest on her chest as she snuggled and pampered him as though he was a spoiled kitten. He started tearing up pathetically, holding her tightly, forgetting that her body may still be aching, and he cried into her soft chest, completely unaware of how it might be thought of as intimate. He was simply drowning in an ocean of emotions, and he needed to tire himself up by crying to sleep.

From then on, Y/N would tell him things about her - How she was raised up to be the defender of the village, and kill if someone was threatening them; How she had to act like the perfect princess and smile at everyone, no matter how tiring it was. She admitted to being so happy that someone was treating her like a normal human being, not the new student, or some pretty girl, clueless to the world - And fighting was always a common tongue spoken by the strong.

She didn’t care about becoming a hero, she just wanted to be in control of her overwhelming, untamable Quirk, and be strong enough to protect what she held dear to her heart - And Katsuki was included amongst those few things she cherished above life itself.

He, in turn, would admit to feeling inferior to Deku, especially after All Might visibly favoured him so much, and how he hated himself for not being strong enough yet to do everything that he set himself up to. He had such a borderless vision that he often felt too slow to achieve those things, and it was driving him crazy.

With time though, the two love birds learnt how to not only take care of each other, but of themselves also. They knew each other so well, and they were so close to each other, that it would put everyone else to shame. The BakuSquad would take random pics of them in all the cutest states - Be it that they fell asleep cuddling each other, or they were holding pinkies, that they were kissing each other’s cheeks, or fixing an item of clothing - Sometimes, even with sillier things, like using two straw to drink from the same drink, or sharing a cake together and one of them is feeding the other. Everyone loved this new iteration of Bakugou - Easy to get an outburst out of him, but he wasn’t outright threatening everyone anymore, and he wasn’t blasting them to death as often either! It was an amazing win!

Katsuki and Y/N were U.A.’s IT couple all the way to their third year, and they enjoyed continuing to stay in the dorms all the same, to the point that they wanted to move in together after finishing school - Well, money might be an issue at the beginning, but they both wanted to work hard enough to afford a little piece of heaven for themselves only, and no family to bother them anymore.

Until then, however, enough time was going to pass, and there was much Katsuki still had to teach Y/N, including how to play video games, or properly operate a laptop. He had some help in showing her about modern fashion and many other things on the side. There was something, however, that only Katsuki was allowed to teach her - Not that he was an expert by any means, but he was a boy, and even he had some needs; Having a pretty girl like Y/N by his side only served as fuel for his desires, but never once did he try to do anything with her - With a traditional upbringing like her own, he was well aware of how intimacy would be viewed, and he wanted her to get used to it at her own pace.

Still, one evening, she was idly tidying up some things in his room, and a conversation arose after the movie they were absent-mindedly watching; Or rather, just played in the background; Depicted some rather interesting scenes. “Why would one want to have a child with a man she just met? Surely, she would want to get married first - How unrealistic.” she spoke casually, seemingly amused at the scene. “Nobody wants a child.” the boy scoffed blankly, playing around some phone game. “Then why are they sleeping together?” she spoke as though she was challenging his knowledge. “People don’t get intimate just to have children anymore, Y/N. Hasn’t been that way for a while now.” he muttered, his cheeks flushing at having to say such words out loud; His heart was pounding hard against his chest, and he quickly changed the channel to something unrelated, like the weather. “Really, now? Then why?” she looked at him with such a cute, confused face, that made the boy want to smash his lips onto hers. “... Pleasure.” the boy coughed, trying to hide his burning face with his phone. “Pleasure?” Y/N’s surprise was great. “No, that can’t be right. Grandma said only boys feel good. Girls feel pain.” “What?!” Bakugou’s eyes seemed to be wide like hers, the shock making him jolt up. “No, that’s bullshit, what the fuck.” he almost looked startled. “Really? Are you sure? She seemed certain. The other women from the village said the same thing too.” Katsuki wanted to drag his nails across his face at the complete nonsense he was hearing - Instead, he was standing in front of Y/N, so close to her that he could feel her heartbeat. He wrapped an arm around her torso, her back secure, her head resting against his palm; He leaned in to kiss her - But unlike the cute, innocent kisses from before, he deepened the kiss, to the point of forgetting how to breathe. “What do you feel when I kiss you?” his low, raspy voice spoke into her ear. “I-I...” her breathing felt heavy, just from this. “I feel like I want you to kiss me more.” the boy complied - He kissed her until her mind went numb, his free hand picked her chin, his thumb trailing her bottom lip dearly as he leaned away just enough to tease her, but not far enough that he couldn’t feel her picked up breathing anymore. His rough hand went down, holding her supple throat dearly, and went down to her chest, to her abdomen, and down on her thigh, and up her skirt. “Tell me what you feel now.” he kissed her again, as his fingers found themselves caressing her clothed womanhood, up and down, again and again, across her slit. He could feel her heart beating so fast, and a small whine escaped her throat as he started circling her clit, each time, applying just a little bit more pressure. He had her propped against the wall, his arm holding her supporting her depleting weight as she was quickly succumbing to the unknown feeling overwhelming her. “What are you feeling?” his lips still brushing against her own, the boy teasingly asked, triumphant at seeing his girlfriend with glazed eyes - Her hands gripped painfully tight on his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. “I-I don’t... I don’t know what this is.” her voice sounded to almost morph into a sweet mewl. “I can’t - I can’t name it. I’ve never... Felt like this before.” “Don’t think much. Just say if you want me to continue or not.” unconsciously, she seemed to be pulling him closer to her body. “Yeah... I want you - I want you, ‘Tsuki.” whether or not she knew perfectly well the way she was teasing him with her words, he wasn’t sure, but the effect she had on him was unreal. He kissed her with more fire, drinking in her first climax; Those sounds she let were so cute, he wanted to hear more; He was so greedy for her, for her body, he almost felt ashamed with how much he was in love with her. “Did you like it, Y/N?” the boy asked, his lips trailing down her jaw, and to her neck. Y/N whimpered a positive answer. “Do you want more, my greedy little kitten?” “Tsuki, don’t tease me like that!” she pouted, only to feel that overly adventurous hand pull down her panties, cupping her private part - Gently, he his fingers touched her folds, exploring around her soft, warm skin, and inside her wet cavern - One finger, inside and out, whilst he abused those sweet spots on her neck, earning gasp after gasp, all from how good he was making her feel.

The boy couldn’t grasp his mind around how incredibly how she was, or how wet he made her already - He was ecstatic, so proud of himself, he wanted to see the full extent of her reactions, all the sounds and expressions he could make her have. Another digit added, her spine arched suddenly against his arm. “Ts-Tsuki... If you go on... I can’t stand up...” she breathed out so enticingly that it drove the boy crazy. “You can, just a little more.” the boy had to place his lips over hers to cover a whine of his name as he curled his fingers just right - Her sharp fingernails dug into his flesh, desperately trying to keep herself upright, but he felt like a melted puddle in his arms. She felt flask, her wetness leaking down her thigh shamelessly from all her arousal, and another climax, more intense this time. “That’s my good girl.” he smirked down at her, bringing his fingers to his mouth, licking her juices shamelessly that the girl covered her face and looked away. “D-Don’t do that, it’s lewd!” she exclaimed, only to hear him chuckling and guiding her to lay down on the bed. Making sure the door was properly locked and changing the weather channel to some music, he sat down between her legs, leaning his chin on her knee, and looking down at her with those beautiful crimson eyes of his. “I have many other lewd things I want to do to you.” he admitted, his hand over hers, squeezing it with comfort. “If you want me to, I can show you, there is pleasure in love-making.” in a swift move, Bakugou was positioned on top of her, leaning on his forearms, on either side if her head. He kissed her deeply, his teeth gently grazing her lip, pulling on it playfully. “Do you want me to go on, my love?” In spite of her embarrassment, and how it went against everything she was taught, Y/N nodded her head. “I need you to tell me. Say it. Out loud.” “Don’t tease me like that.” she pouted at him. “I want you to love me, ‘Tsuki.” “I will love you any time you want me to, Y/N.” the vibration of his voice sent shivers down her spine, as the boy dripped down to her torso, his hands roaming up and down her body, taking off her blouse and skirt. She was so beautiful, laying down in all her glory, naked, and blushing so hard.

His finger gripped on the plush of her thighs, pulling them apart just enough to get close to her dripping cunt; He placed kiss after kiss on the inner skin of her leg, and in between, to her overly stimulated bundle of nerves that made her body twitch with each flick of his tongue. Y/N had to put a hand over her mouth to stifle an unconscious whine, the weird feeling of his wet tongue licking all the way up her sleeve, and down to her entrance - It was so weird, but she didn’t hate it - It wasn’t a bad kind of weird, it was rather pleasant. Pleasant enough that she was losing her sense of ration over the way he was making her feel. The way his hands were holding her, how his mouth was kissing and sucking and pulling.

With the way Y/N was unable to properly keep her body under control, Katsuki knew she was close again - She was so precious, and he didn’t want to let go of her the whole night - And every other night also. He wanted to see her, to hear her, to kiss her every day and every night, for the rest of their lives. Suddenly, Katsuki stopped, and he quickly took off the tank top he was wearing, making Y/N whimper softly. Though she wanted to protest, her body feeling about to explode, she placed her hands on his chest, trailing down to his abdomen, before quickly pulling him down on her body, his whole weight unsupported - But she loved the proximity, and how intimate it felt, being so close, kissing him, feeling his body like that. Y/N loved his body, she wanted to see him shirtless like this more often, she wanted to hear him go crazy with pleasure, the very same way he made her feel.

But not now - Katsuki had other plans for the night. “Still want to continue? Are you ready?” the boy asked, sucking on her neck. “I don’t know if I’d be able to stop, once I begin. I’m addicted to you. I’m addicted to everything about you.” he sighed, his chest heaving up and down from excitement. “Yes.” she breathed out. “I want you. I don’t want you to stop.” Y/N spoke again. “I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.” “Another time, angel.” Katsuki chuckled softly, a hand reaching into the drawer and quickly taking a condom, putting it on. “Tonight, it’s all about you, sweetheart.”

Once again, he hoisted her up with one arm, the other hand holding her own, fingers intertwined. He felt her squeezing him as he entered his tip inside her womanhood, slowly going in. Though the music was loud, Katsuki kissed Y/N deeply, afraid he sweet mewls might be heard from outside; Fully sheathed, he let out an exhale, trying to keep himself composed, but he was failing miserably. The way she felt around him, how tight she felt, clamping down on him, it was killing him in all the best ways possible.

Again, he went pulled out almost fully, before going back in, long strokes, maddening, so full of passion, full of love, hitting and scraping at her sweet spot - His hand felt as though it was being crushed, and his back might as well be bleeding, or at least held the marks of her nails - He loved it. He loved this feeling, it heated him up, it made him feel nirvana approaching fast.

“I love you.” he mumbled, kissing her again; Her body soon started twitching, stiff; He felt his member being lovingly held captive inside of her as he rode her sweet release, and soon, he found his own. He wanted to stay like that inside of her, to be connected to her. “I love you, ‘Tsuki.” her voice was so delicate, so euphoric, that it made the boy bite his lip and pull away, before he’d be tempted to tire her out even more. He knew, however, that next time, he might be teasing her more - It felt too good, seeing her so glazed with pleasure, pleading for him to continue and be good to her. And it felt even better, having her say she loves him. It was the best feeling in the world.

Katsuki grabbed his tank top back, giving Y/N one of his larger Tshirts to sleep in, and brought over a pack of baby wipes, some water and snacks. He got the volume of the music down, and changed again to some movie, as Y/N cuddled dearly into his side, her head resting on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat. It didn’t take long for him to play with her hair, that she fell asleep, that beautiful smile ever painted on her face. “You have no idea how much I love you, Y/N.”

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