#also I’m an angel and I shouldn’t be here anyway so I need to go home I want to go home I miss my wings

[cookiescribble]

Show Me How To Be Whole Again

A/N: hi everyone! This is the fic I've been working on for eight months 😮‍💨. I hope it came out as well as I hoped it would 😅 - mod angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: When Spencer is abducted, you rush to the team to make sure you're there when they find him. After you get home, Spencer's behavior starts to get more and more concerning, and you're desperate for answers. (based on 2x15 and the aftermath of that episode)

Word Count: 7.1k

CW: Mentions of abduction, violence, drug addiction, withdrawal, arguing. some angst in the middle but i am incapable of writing something without a happy ending.

~~~~~

The call came early in the morning. They said they called you as soon as they could. 

If you were thinking rationally, or if you could stand being alone for 5 minutes after hearing the news, maybe you would’ve stayed home. But you couldn’t stay put knowing Spencer was in trouble. 

You quickly threw a few days’ worth of clothes in a carry-on bag and took the first flight out of the nearest airport. You were trying so hard to keep yourself together and not break down crying on a crowded airplane, but the thoughts just kept rushing in your head. You were so worried about him. 

When you landed, you called the team and told them you were going to the police station and you were going to stay there until they found him. You wouldn’t let anyone argue with you. You wouldn’t be able to calm down until they found him anyway, so being anywhere else didn’t make sense. 

You didn’t really think of what you’d do when you got there. You’d just been on autopilot since you got the call. You were hoping someone would meet you there. 

When you frantically burst through the doors of the police station, JJ was standing there waiting for you. You dropped your bag and hugged her tight. 

“It was my fault,” she choked out, sobbing. “We were together and… we split up… I shouldn’t have split up…”

You shook your head vigorously. “No, no, you’re not the one who abducted him. It’s not your fault.” You were also sobbing now. You tried taking deep breaths to calm yourself, but all you could think about was what could possibly be happening to Spencer right now. 

You calmed down enough to ask, “Where is everybody else?”

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath herself. “We set up at the unsub’s house. He took Spence to a secondary location, and Garcia set up there to get to his computers.” She looked down. “I really should be getting back there.”

You nodded while she talked. “I’m coming with you,” you announced. 

She looked at you, concerned. “We can’t risk you-“

You cut her off. “I am coming with you. I’m staying with you until we find him,” you stated forcefully. 

She didn’t argue further. She could see the desperation in your eyes, you’re sure. Even someone who didn’t analyze behavior for a living could see that. “Alright. Let’s go.”

…

You arrived at the house. You couldn’t tell how long the car ride took; every second felt like an hour. 

When everybody saw you, they took turns giving you a hug. You could tell they were concerned that you were here, but they could see how devastated you were. You think they understood. 

You hung around while they all did their jobs and tried to find Spencer. You sat next to Penelope and watched as she tried to do whatever she could to help find him. 

Time passed. The team was coming in and out of the room as they needed to. Derek was probably in here the most, giving his moral support to Penelope. 

Suddenly, the monitors in front of you lit up. 

“What‘s happening?” Derek asked. 

“I… don’t know,” Penelope answered. 

Your heart dropped as an image popped up on the screen. 

It was Spencer. He was sitting in a chair, his hands tied together. He was wearing the clothes you watched him pack on the morning you last saw him. 

He looked so scared. 

“Guys! Get in here!” you heard Derek yell. 

You couldn’t look away from the screen. 

The rest of the team rushed in, faces dropping as they saw what was happening. 

Someone was talking in the background of the stream. You couldn’t hear them. Your heart was thumping so hard you could hear it in your ears. Spencer was replying to whatever they were saying. Through your loud heartbeat, you could hear his trembling voice. Your eyes started to water. 

After a few moments, you heard someone near you say something and suddenly you were being pulled away from the screen and into another room. 

When you realized what was happening, you looked up to see Hotch holding your shoulders, pushing you away from the horrific scene unfolding on the monitors. 

You started sobbing. “I have to see him,” you tried to say, but your voice was cracking. 

“No. You saw that he’s alive. That’s all you need to see.” he said firmly. He was protecting you from seeing something that would truly break you. 

You couldn’t argue. What you saw shook you to your very core; you couldn’t go back in there. You squeezed your eyes shut and nodded. “You’re going to find him and bring him back safe.” It wasn’t a question. You knew they’d find him. They had to. 

You took a step back, telling Hotch he could go back to the team in the other room, and that you were okay out here.

You sat at a table, laying your head down and covering it with your arms. You had started crying, and you couldn’t stop. How could they do this to him? He’s never done anything to hurt anybody. All he does is help people. How could someone look at him and feel anything other than warmth, comfort, and love?

You heard footsteps come into the room. The girls came in and sat around you. You picked your head up to look at them, your eyes already swollen from crying so much. 

“What happened?” you asked frantically. Your heart was racing again. 

“He’s okay,” Emily said quickly. “He’s alive. The unsub… made him choose a victim to keep alive, but there’s going to be more victims… and then the camera cut off.” She took a deep breath. “It looked like making that decision let him live.”

You buried your face in your hands. This was so cruel. you knew he dealt with bad people every day, but… this was so heartbreaking. How could someone feel so little remorse for other human beings that they force an innocent person to decide someone’s fate?

You took deep breaths to try not to cry again. “I can tell he’s in so much pain right now… He’s going to blame himself for all those people’s deaths. The guilt is going to eat him up inside. He’ll feel horrible even if he does make it out of this.”

Everyone took turns patting your back to reassure you. “He is going to make it out of this. He’ll be home soon.”

You nodded, forcing yourself to believe it. You had to believe it. If you didn’t believe it… you would break down more than you ever have before. 

…

You stayed in that room for what felt like an eternity. The team took turns keeping you company when they weren’t busy. They gave you vague updates to let you know that Spencer was still alive. They didn’t tell you details of what they saw. You didn’t ask. Seeing the somber looks on their faces told you all you needed to know.

Eventually, everyone came rushing out of the room, putting on their coats and practically running out the door. Penelope came to sit with you, her eyes wide and full of hope. “They found where he is. They’re going to him now.” She hugged you tightly. “He’s going to be okay.”

Tears leaked out of your eyes again. This time they were happy tears. The immense rush of relief you felt was enough to render you speechless for a while, until you finally choked out, “They’re going to call us when he’s safe?” She nodded eagerly and you let out a huge sigh of relief. 

The wait felt like forever. You were still nervous. What if they don’t get to him in time? What if they’re just barely too late?

Finally, finally Penelope’s phone rang. She answered quickly, nodding at what she was hearing. Eventually she hung up and looked at you, smiling. “He’s with them now. The unsub is dead. They’re rushing an ambulance but his injuries seem minor considering… what’s been happening.”

You closed your eyes and took another big sigh of relief. “I’m going to meet the ambulance there,” you declared.

Penelope looked at you quizzically. “I don’t know if-“

“You said the unsub is dead,” you cut her off. “There’s no more danger. I’m going to him.” You saw keys to one of the FBI vehicles that was left over since they had multiple people to a van. You picked them up and tossed them to Penelope. “You know their coordinates. You drive.”

She caught the keys and nodded at you, unable to argue with your logic. You both rushed out to the van and sped over to the location. 

You saw the ambulance as you arrived there. You barely waited for Penelope to put the car in park before you were running out the door to where the ambulance had parked. 

You saw Spencer sitting at the edge of the back of the ambulance with a first aid blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was beaten up, but he was still conscious and alert. You were relieved his injuries weren’t worse. 

“Spencer!” you shouted as you ran towards him. He looked your way, his eyes widening as he saw you. 

You threw your arms around his shoulders when you reached him. His shock quickly turned to something softer as he relaxed into your arms, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

You nestled your face into his neck for a few moments, unable to stop your sobs of joy. “Oh, sweetie…” you cooed into his ear. 

He moved so his forehead was touching yours. Tears were streaking down his face. “I’m sorry…” he started. 

You shook your head vigorously. “No apologies. You’re okay now.” You kissed him on the forehead gently and threaded your fingers in his hair “Everything’s going to be okay.”

He nodded and tightened his grip on you, kissing you firmly. He kissed you for a long time before finally pulling away, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you,” he whispered.

You smiled warmly, whispering back to him. “I love you, too.”

You stayed like that for a few moments before everyone started pushing Spencer to get in the ambulance so he could go to the hospital. You rode with him, of course. You held his hand the whole way there. 

He wasn’t in the hospital for too long. They were able to treat his wounds relatively easily. The team waited in the waiting room while you followed him into the examination room. 

When you came back to the waiting room, hand in hand, everyone rushed to greet you before you all headed to the jet. 

You sat in the corner of the couch to the side of the other seats, motioning for Spencer to lay his head in your lap. He followed eagerly, curling up on his side and nestling his head in your lap. 

You ran your fingers through his curls as he began to fall asleep. He must’ve been exhausted. You couldn’t imagine him sleeping during any of that. 

You stayed like that the whole ride home, him asleep and you petting his hair softly. 

You gently woke him up when you landed. “C’mon, baby. We’re going home.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. You kissed his cheek before standing up, taking his hand as you went to the parking lot. He obviously wasn’t in any condition to drive, so he handed you the keys to his car and let you drive home. You insisted on stopping and getting some food on the way back. He said he didn’t feel hungry, but once he started eating, it seemed like he’d never stop. He must’ve been starving.

When you walked into your apartment, he grabbed you and hugged you tightly to his chest. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, relaxing into him. 

“I missed you so much.” He was crying again, sniffling softly. “I thought about you every waking moment. I knew I had to make it through because you were waiting for me.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. 

“I missed you too,” you said quietly, looking into his eyes with a soft expression. “I knew you were going to make it back.” You hugged him tight again. “I didn’t see everything. The team… made sure I didn’t see anything that was going to hurt me.”

He nodded, leaning down to stroke your cheek gently with his thumb. “I’m glad you didn’t have to see me like that.” He touched his forehead to yours. “What matters now is that I’m here with you.” He kissed you slowly, pushing your hair out of your face. 

You kissed for a long time, slowly making your way to your bedroom. You smiled up at him after a while. “As much as I would love to continue this…” You gestured to the bed. “You need to sleep.”

As if to prove your point, he let out a quiet yawn. You smiled as he sat down at the edge of the bed. You grabbed his pajamas from the drawer and helped him get changed and settled into bed. 

He lay his head on your chest and you stroked his hair gently, just like you did the whole way home. “Go to sleep, baby,” you whispered as his eyes closed. After a moment you heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep. 

“Goodnight,” you whispered, kissing the top of his head before relaxing to fall asleep yourself.   

…

After that night, things got… bad. 

Spencer wasn’t acting like himself anymore. He was… distant. Cold. He had never acted this way towards you before. Or anyone, for that matter. 

You had never had a problem with intimacy before, but suddenly he refused to touch you. Any time you would reach for his hand, or try to put your arm around him, he’d just shrug you off of him and move away from you. It always ended in you mumbling an apology and putting some space between you. 

He never explained why he didn’t want you to touch him. In fact, he didn’t talk a whole lot anymore. You often sat in silence, completely apart from each other. You always used to be able to count on him to fill these silences, but now he just stayed quiet. 

When he did talk, he was a lot more cold to you than he used to be. You had never fought before, but now it felt like any time he talked it was to argue with you about something. It felt like he was always angry lately. 

He didn’t even like to sleep in the same bed as you anymore. Most nights, if not every night, he slept on the couch. You started begging him, telling him that you would never cross over your side of the bed, but he shrugged you off saying he just needed to be alone.

All of this was really taking a toll on you. You tried not to show it, because you knew he was going through a hard time, so you only let your feelings out in places you could be alone. Which meant you spent a lot of time crying in the bathroom.

This went on for months. You thought that, surely, he had to tell you what was going on eventually. He had never hidden anything from you before, so you didn’t really know what to do, or how to handle this. You didn’t want to push him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about, but something was very clearly wrong. 

After a particularly bad argument one night, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to go to someone about this. For Spencer’s sake.

The next morning, you set an extra early alarm, quietly getting dressed and tiptoeing past Spencer, who was asleep on the couch, and silently leaving your apartment. 

As you got in your car and started driving, you started arguing with yourself in your head. Part of your brain was trying to say that this wasn’t going to help, and that this was just like being a little kid and tattling to a teacher. But the emotional part of your brain was saying that just telling anyone would be able to help Spencer. And that little shred of hope was all it took to convince you to do this.

You shoved open the doors to the BAU, hoping that Spencer’s stories about his boss barely leaving his office were true. When you looked around, you saw an office with a light on, making you breathe a sigh of relief.

You bound up the stairs, knocking on the office door, a little more forcefully than you had intended. Hopefully it would help get your emotions across.

“Come in,” a familiar voice ordered. 

You took a deep breath before opening the door, seeing Hotch sitting at his desk with a bunch of paperwork in front of him. You wondered just how much paperwork this job required, and if he was always here hours before everyone else.

He looked surprised to see you. He would probably be surprised to see anyone at this early hour, but considering you don’t even work for him, he probably wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of you coming here. “Is there something I can help you with?” He asked. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You didn’t really think this far; you just figured that surely someone who works so closely with Spencer had to know something, especially since he was a profiler. 

You thought about everything that had happened in the last few months, trying to find the right words to properly articulate your concerns. But all the thoughts about Spencer pushing you away and refusing your affection, mixed with remembering what your relationship was like before that fateful night of his abduction, overwhelmed your mind so much that you just couldn’t stop your emotions flowing out. Tears welled in your eyes before starting to streak down your face. Here you were, in Hotch’s office, completely unannounced and uninvited, and you were just standing there crying.

After a few moments of crying, and of Hotch looking very concerned at this scene playing out before him, you decided it didn’t matter that you couldn’t form the perfect words. You just needed to say something. 

Through choked sobs, you finally managed to blurt out, “What’s wrong with Spencer?”

Hotch looked at you, his expression as unreadable as always. “What do you mean?”

You took a deep breath, too emotional to think about how you shouldn’t be saying all of this to your boyfriend’s boss. The words just started coming out in a rush. “Something’s wrong. We had never had a single argument before, and now the only time he ever talks to me is to pick a fight. He’s never present, he barely speaks, which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you is very strange behavior for Spencer. He never smiles anymore, he won’t let me touch him anymore, he won’t sleep in our bed anymore, he only sleeps on the couch…” 

You covered your eyes with your hands, trying to stop the tears from coming out. Finally, after some shaky breaths, you finished by saying, “I just wanted to know if there’s anything you could tell me about this. If you know why he’s acting this way. If there’s something he’s not telling me.”

Hotch hesitated before gesturing to a chair in front of his desk. “Do you want to take a seat?”

You looked at the chair, and you noticed you were shaking. You nodded, and sat down in the chair, trying to calm down. But you couldn’t help being extremely restless, your leg bouncing rapidly while you sat.

Hotch leaned forward, moving some paperwork out of the way and placing his hands on his desk. His expression was slightly softened. “Working in this field, you go through a lot of traumatic things. Reid’s abduction was one of the worst things an agent can go through.” His voice was low and steady, which was a welcome contrast to how frantic your own words had come out. “Anyone would struggle after that.”

You sighed. “I know, but-”

He raised his hand to cut you off. “That being said, we’ve all been able to tell that Reid has been a little off.” He saw you raise your eyebrow and added, “Okay, a lot off.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “We have some… theories, but we can’t know for sure what’s happening with him unless he tells us. And since he’s already struggling, we didn’t want to make it worse, especially since he’s technically just a subordinate or coworker. But if he’s not telling you either…” He looked at you sympathetically. “I’ll try to talk to him.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “... Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I came here out of the blue.” You stood up, taking a step forward as if you were going to hug him, but for once your rational thoughts took over and you stayed where you were.

He stood up after you. “You’re welcome. It couldn’t have been easy to come here and talk about this.” He reached out to shake your hand, and when you shook his hand back he put his other hand over yours and spoke softly to you. “I’m going to try to get through to him. I promise.”

His gentle hands and soft-spoken words were enough to reassure you, at least for now. You nodded, thanking him again before leaving his office. You were able to leave with a lot more composure than you came here with.

It was getting late by the time you left Hotch’s office, and there were a lot more people here now. As you came down the stairs, you looked up to see Spencer staring at you. He wasn’t angry, thankfully, but he looked… kind of dumbfounded. Which made sense. You had no reason to be here at all, let alone a reason to be talking to his boss.

As you walked towards him to get to the door to leave, he turned to you. “Hey…” he started, his voice soft.

You didn’t know what to say, his soft voice sounding nothing like what you’ve been hearing these past few months. So you just kind of waved to him awkwardly, pointing to your watch to indicate that you had to get to work, and you left the BAU. 

When you got back in your car, you took a few minutes to process everything that had happened. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to convince yourself that everything was okay. You believed Hotch when he said he’d help. It felt like Spencer was in capable hands.

…

Later that day, you had been in the bathroom when Spencer came home, and you didn’t hear the door open and close. When you came out, you saw him standing awkwardly in the front of your apartment. It made you jump a little bit. “Hi… I didn’t know you were home,” you muttered awkwardly.

He stood there looking at you, his eyes moving a little as if he was thinking of what to say. After a few moments, instead of saying anything, he walked over to you and hugged you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

You just froze for a moment, not sure how to react. But he kept his tight hold on you, as if you were the only thing keeping him up right now, and you finally started to hug him back just as tightly. You both just stood like that for a few minutes, holding each other.

Finally, he spoke up. His voice was soft, barely a whisper, and he sounded so fragile. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He was starting to cry now, making soft sobbing sounds into your shoulder.

Hearing him cry broke something in you, and shortly you were also in tears. “Oh, Spence…” You squeezed him a little tighter, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It’s okay…”

He sniffled and shook his head, pulling back a little so he could look you in the eyes. “My behavior has been abhorrent lately. I’ve been struggling, and I’ve been bottling everything up. I didn’t realize just how much this was hurting you.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep up with his thoughts. “I guess I figured, if I didn’t tell you about my problems, then they couldn’t affect you. But I was wrong. It just made it worse.”

You looked at him sadly, one of your hands moving to gently stroke his hair. “You can always come to me with anything. I’ll always try to help you. You know that.”

Some more tears started falling down his cheeks, and you started to wipe them away with your thumb. “I guess I felt like… I didn’t deserve the help.” He took a few shaky breaths as he tried to calm down. “Like I didn’t deserve you being so nice to me.”

“Spencer…” you started, trying to make your voice sound as soothing as possible. “What’s wrong? What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. “I… I don’t know if I can talk about it yet. But I promise I’ll tell you soon.” He looked at you determinedly. “Until then, I promise I’m going to try to be better to you.” As if to prove his point, he grabbed your face and captured your lips in a soft kiss, making your heart flutter.

After years of dating, you didn’t think you’d feel that flustered, shy feeling of butterflies in your stomach again. But, after these past few months of having no physical contact, this kiss almost felt like it was your first kiss all over again.

You couldn’t help but hold the back of his head to try to bring his face even closer to yours. You were craving his touch, and you needed his affection. On the off chance that this was a one-time thing, and that he would start to distance himself again after this, you figured you had to make it last.

He showed no signs of letting up, though, moving you both so you were laying on the couch, with him hovering over you. His lips never left yours the whole time, and his hands were moving around your face as if he was trying to remember what it felt like. 

He broke the kiss to look at you, before closing his eyes. His hands trailed from your face down to your neck, moving slightly under your shirt to your shoulders. He wasn’t just touching you, he was feeling you. As if feeling your skin would jog his memory of you. His breathing was soft and even as his hands moved down to your hips, his fingers gentle and slow on your waist as he started to lift your shirt up. 

Your breath hitched when you felt cold air suddenly hit your stomach. “Spence…” you spoke quietly, a soft blush on your face. 

He looked at you, his voice quick and reassuring. “I don’t want to do anything like… that. It would be a little too much for me right now.” He quickly flashed you that awkward little smile he had sometimes. “I just want to see you, to feel you.” His voice went a little quieter when he added, “I missed you.”

You looked at him sadly, reaching up to touch his face. “I missed you, too.” You leaned in to kiss him again. “I missed you so much.”

The soft, slow kissing resumed, and Spencer very carefully pulled your shirt over your head, his hands gently gliding over the newly exposed skin. You let out a dreamy sigh. You hadn’t realized just how touch starved you had been over these past few months. This is exactly what you had been needing. 

You just stayed on the couch like that for a while, his lips and hands on you, the gentlest of touches. After a little while longer, you started to unbutton his shirt, because you wanted to do the same to him.

He completely froze, sucking in a breath. You immediately pulled your hands away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You trailed off, worried that you just ruined any progress that had been made tonight. 

He shook his head, sitting up and pulling you up with him. “It’s okay, I just… I don’t want you to see me with my shirt off.” He looked at you with pleading eyes, as if he was begging you not to ask about it. 

You hesitated, but instead of asking about it you tried to be a little more lighthearted. “I’ve seen you without a shirt plenty of times, Spencer.” 

He gave you a slight smile before the worried look came back to his face. “I just…” he started, “I can’t right now. Please understand.”

You nodded, taking his hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “I understand.” You stroked his hand gently with your thumb. “I’m not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can trust me.”

He squeezed your hand back, giving you another little smile. “I know you won’t. I do trust you.” He let out a little yawn and started to rub his eyes. 

You looked at the clock, not realizing how late it had gotten. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You leaned over to kiss his forehead. “You should get some sleep.”

You worried he would still insist on sleeping on the couch, but he just nodded, his hand still tightly holding yours as you both stood up and walked to your bedroom. He grabbed his pajamas and headed to the bathroom to change.

You sat on the bed and watched him for a few moments before he closed the door. You started to get dressed yourself, wondering what this problem was about. He had been a little shy around you when you two first started getting intimate, but you thought he had gotten over that. Had these past few months apart made the shyness come back?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Spencer coming back into the room. You stood up so he could get in bed. He looked so tired; you could see just how bad the dark circles under his eyes were.

He crawled under the covers, curling up and closing his eyes. You got in the other side of the bed, gently rubbing his back to soothe him. You didn’t want to push any boundaries, so you pulled away after just a moment.

He turned around, looking at you with those big eyes of his, and grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together. He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath, as if soothed by your touch. You smiled softly. He looked more peaceful than you had seen him in a long time. It made it easier to close your eyes and relax.

It was silent for a while, and you thought he had fallen asleep. But then, you heard him speak very softly. “I love you.”

You opened your eyes to see him looking back at you. You squeezed his hand gently. “I love you too.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead, making him smile. “Get some sleep. I can tell you need it,” you whispered.

He nodded and closed his eyes again, moving a little closer to you before wrapping his arms around you and nestling his head in your neck. You hesitated for a moment in shock before cradling him in your arms. You kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, baby,” you whispered to him. Soon, you could hear his breathing soften, and you just listened to the quiet sounds of him sleeping for a few more moments before falling asleep yourself.

…

Things didn’t magically get better after that, but they did improve. 

Spencer went back to sleeping in your bed, though he seemed to have a hard time sleeping nowadays. He was always tossing and turning, and you usually woke up in the middle of the night to either try to soothe him to sleep or to keep him company when he couldn’t sleep. 

There was a lot more talking, and a lot less fighting. You could have more comfortable conversations, and he would politely tell you when he didn’t feel like talking. It was a lot better than him yelling at you to leave him alone. 

There was still some arguing, but usually only when you were trying to get him to eat. He was always saying he wasn’t hungry, and you had to try to push to get him to eat, saying he needed some kind of nutrition. Sometimes he would snap at you, saying he would eat if he was hungry and that he didn’t push you when you didn’t want to eat. He’d always apologize, though, and try his best to explain that he was either feeling nauseous or he just didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. It seemed to get a little better after a few days.

He didn’t mind a little more physical contact. He wasn’t always up for it, but he didn’t seem to mind it as much. It was always trial and error, almost like trying to pet a skittish cat. You’d start by putting a gentle hand on his, and he’d tense up for a second, and he’d either pull away and explain he didn’t want to be touched, or he’d take your hand and hold it gently. A big improvement. It was just little touches: holding hands, an arm around his shoulder, a hug… it never went past that.

He didn’t talk about what it was that was bothering him at first, but you trusted that he would tell you when he was ready. After about a week, he was finally ready to talk about it.

…

You both were sitting on the couch, in one of your quiet moments. You were reading a book, like you usually did when Spencer felt like being quiet. The silences were starting to get more comfortable, making it easier to just do quiet activities next to each other.

After a few minutes, Spencer cleared his throat, making you look over at him. You bookmarked the page you were on and turned to him. “What is it?”

He hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure how to start this conversation. He closed his eyes for a moment to put his thoughts together, before opening them again to look at you. He spoke very softly.

“When I was…” he started, swallowing and taking a deep breath to compose himself before continuing, “... When I was abducted for those few days back in February, a lot happened. The man who took me had dissociative identity disorder, and dealing with all his personalities was difficult. But there was one of his personalities that was… nicer than the others. More helpful than harmful.” He closed his eyes again, and you knew this was really hard for him to talk about. You placed a gentle hand over his, and he let out a breath, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. He continued on, his voice still soft and sad.

“Unfortunately, one of the ways that he helped me was to… give me something to help numb the pain the others were causing.” He closed his eyes again, and he slowly rolled up his sleeves for you to see his arms.

You stared in shock. His arms were covered in needle marks. You covered your mouth. “Oh, Spencer…” You looked back up at his face, but his eyes were squeezed shut, as if he didn’t want to face this. You squeezed his hand to let him know you were here to support him.

“He would come to me saying Dilaudid helped with the pain, and after a few times, it started to feel… good.” He took another deep breath, his eyes still closed. “After he died, I took the bottles he still had. And when things started getting hard to handle… all the flashbacks and memories of what happened to me, I just needed to numb myself. And it worked, for a while. But eventually, I just… couldn’t stop.”

“Spencer…” you started, your voice gentle. “You could’ve come to me, I could’ve tried to help you-”

“I didn’t want that,” he cut you off. “I tried to convince myself that what I was doing wasn’t wrong. That it was just medicine that was helping me. But, obviously, I knew that wasn’t the truth. And I knew that if I told anyone about it, they would say I needed help. But I didn’t want help. I just wanted to live in this unrealistic world where everything I was doing was fine.” He finally opened his eyes to look at you. “That’s why I was lashing out. I didn’t want anyone to help me, and I also felt like I didn’t deserve anyone being nice to me.”

He looked at you very seriously. “I thought, if I didn’t tell you any of this, it couldn’t hurt you. I know how sensitive you are to other people’s emotions and problems, so I figured if I didn’t tell you, you couldn’t worry about me. Obviously, I was wrong, and that was a naive way of thinking.” He reached out and gently touched your face. “When I saw you at the BAU, I knew it was because you were worried about me, and I saw that you looked like you had been crying. And it just snapped me out of this false reality I had created for myself. And that’s when I came home and apologized, because I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep hurting you.”

You listened to him silently while he talked, letting him get out everything he needed to say before responding. “Why didn’t you tell me that day? Or the few days after that? Why did you wait until now?”

He nodded as if he was waiting for this question. “I read that withdrawal symptoms peak within 12-48 hours, and that it usually takes 5-7 days for the symptoms to resolve. So I wanted to wait out those 7 days just to make sure.”

You gave him a sad look. “But if I knew you were having withdrawal symptoms, I could have helped you. I really wish you would have told me.”

He sighed. “I wanted to do it on my own. To prove to myself that I could do it. That I wasn’t just going to quit halfway through and relapse.”

You nodded sympathetically. “Well, I’m really glad you told me now. We can get through this together.” You gave his hand a little pat. “You know this isn’t the end of it, right? It’s not just over when withdrawal symptoms stop. You still need to work out these issues that made you start this in the first place.”

He nodded. “I know. I want to try to get help now. I… I think I’m ready. I want to look into going to therapy, and maybe some support groups if I need them.” He squeezed your hand again. “I know I can make it through this, because I know you’ll be by my side.”

You smiled softly at him. “I’ll always be by your side.” Your hand trailed up his arms, looking back at the needle marks. “Do they… hurt?” you asked softly.

He shrugged. “Only when they first appear. They don’t hurt right now.”

You nodded, and you gently touched the marks on his arm. You looked at him, and you slowly brought his arm up so you could give every little mark a gentle kiss, to let him know that everything was going to get better soon.

He looked at you with big, loving eyes, and he started tearing up a bit. He pulled you in for a tight hug, sniffling as he buried his face in your neck. “I love you so much,” he said with a shaky voice.

You held him tight, rubbing his back to comfort him. “I love you too, Spence. Everything is going to be okay.” Your voice was calm and soothing. “I’m here now.”

…

Things started to get much better after that. Spencer was way more comfortable telling you when things were feeling more difficult than usual. Typically, it would be when he came home from a particularly emotional case. You were always there to hold him and to soothe him. There was no more aversion to your touch or need for extended silences. He felt comfortable in your arms, and he knew he could talk to you when something was bothering him.

He started seeing a therapist, and you always went there with him. Usually, you just sat outside the office for his sessions so he could have the one-on-one help he needed. Sometimes, if he was having a particularly rough week, he would bring you in with him for extra support. And you were always there when he needed you.

It took a bit of time, but you learned how to help with whatever he needed you for. If he needed a distraction, you could always come up with some activity to get his mind off of things. You played a lot of board games, and started learning to bake so you could just pull out a new recipe to try and he could focus on getting everything just right. When he just needed someone to listen to him, or a shoulder to cry on, you didn’t mind being that person for him. And sometimes he just wanted to be held, saying that the physical touch grounded him. You were always happy to hold him. 

Over time, things got easier and easier to deal with. Eventually, things seemed to be fully back to normal. You both knew that this was always going to be a struggle that could come back, but you knew how to handle it now, and you were certain that you could get through any struggle that ever tried to get in your way.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x male!reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfiction #mod angel

[misc-obeyme]

It’s me I’m back with Lesson 34 spoilers below. (including the hard lesson)

I always try to write these posts shortly after finishing the lesson so that it’s like… my immediate and unfiltered thoughts lol. Sometimes I change my mind about stuff after I see other people’s interpretations of things. So if you were wondering why I’m taking the time to write this at 2 am, that’s why. I totally forgot about the lesson during the day due to the whole Thanksgiving thing.

ANYWAY.

I feel like we got SO MUCH BARB in this lesson?? He was barely in it. But we had other characters talking about him and that honestly makes me happy, too. Probably because I like when they give us some perspective into his character.

BUT FIRST.

Belphie. We were actually playing the role of Lilith in his little Celestial Realm dream sequence, right? And then at the end it’s all but we’re not siblings.

Listen. I just think that Belphie has a lot of unresolved trauma surrounding Lilith and I really don’t feel like having MC play hide-and-seek with him in a dream is going to be enough to help him move past it. Enough to make him want to help MC? Maybe. But I dunno.

However, I also think I probably shouldn’t expect anything more intense than that from an otome game. They were just trying to give us SOMETHING to explain why he was cool with making a pact.

WHICH WE FINALLY DID. With Beel, Belphie, AND Levi. I get Beel & Belphie doing theirs at the same time, but I’m still a little baffled about why Levi waited so long. There probably isn’t a reason, but who knows maybe they’ll surprise us with something lol.

Ah. Lucifer.

This was my favorite part:

I love Mammon, he always just says exactly what he’s thinking (unless it’s how much he loves MC lol).

But we all knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, right? We knew Lucifer would be last. We knew that Lucifer would be the most difficult one to make a pact with. Remember what happened with him last time? Of course he doesn’t want to make a pact with us now. We’re likely going to be going through some kind of long drawn out drama that will eventually lead to Lucifer giving in and making a pact with us.

However, I found both Solomon’s and Diavolo’s reactions to this absolutely hilarious:

Can the two of you take this seriously, please?? I know you both find Lucifer highly entertaining and yeah, I'm usually laughing at him most of the time, too, but I need that pact to get back to where I'm from, thanks.

But we’re only on Lesson 34. So I think we still have plenty of time to make a pact with Lucifer, learn the truth about Nightbringer, and return to our timeline (or have the timelines merge or whatever nonsense they’re gonna do).

I’m still hoping for all that to get resolved by the end of this season lol.

Now, I found this exchange from Belphie’s Celestial Realm shenanigans especially interesting:

Assuming this is accurate to what actually happened when Lucifer was still an angel, this means that the angels knew Barbatos. They know him by name, they clearly think he’s a big deal, and they’re surprised that he’s agreed to be Diavolo’s butler.

I was always under the impression that the demons and the angels didn’t really know much about each other. But now I’m wondering if maybe Barbatos had something to do with the end of the war that happened before the Celestial War. The one that was between the Celestial Realm and the Devildom. I have no reason for thinking this other than the fact that as angels, Lucifer & Simeon clearly know him. And what else would they know him from? Though I suppose anything could have happened lol.

And then there was all of this:

What does it MEAN?! (Obviously I chose the second option for MC's dialogue, which increased Barb's intimacy.)

Barbatos my true love. Why did you give MC a real piece of paper from your grimoire? He’s always been cautious, always keeping MC at arm’s length, and now all of a sudden it’s here’s a piece of my grimoire? There is NO WAY he doesn’t have all of the build up from the OG. I can’t believe that he would actually give MC a piece of his grimoire if he had only just met them at the beginning of Nightbringer. So I’m tacking this on as additional evidence that Barb knows all.

Also can we just appreciate Lucifer in 32-A? All his brothers are completely out of it and he single-handedly motivates every one of them back into action.

It sure worked, huh? Do you think the credit card is in the freezer yet?

You guys. THE HARD LESSON.

It was everything. I LOVE the Little Ds. I LOVE them hanging out with Diavolo. I LOVE that Barbatos couldn’t accompany MC because Diavolo requested some fancy human world dish. This entire hard lesson was *chef’s kiss*

GOD I love Barb's knowing look and Dia's little frown. I love them so much it's almost painful lol.

Okay that’s all I’ve got to say about this lesson. In general, I enjoyed it. They coulda played up Belphie’s yandere tendencies a bit more. I felt like his change of heart was rather rushed, but they really can’t put him through the therapy he needs. I don’t think the lessons are long enough for that.

#we just chalk it up to MC's amazing demon charming abilities #remember when I used to put these posts in the masterlist #lol I will update it one day #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me lesson 34 #obey me nightbringer lesson 34 #obey me nightbringer lesson 34 spoilers #obey me nightbringer spoilers #spoilers #omswd #obey me! #om! shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me solomon #misc lesson recap #misc rambles

[intuitivesef]

A message from your future lover

Pick a card reading

Don't second guess yourself when choosing a card. Trust your intuition.

Take what resonates, leave what doesn't

Masterlist

Moodboard. Dividers.

Pile 1:

Hello Pumpkin! 🎃,

Today I finally got into the university I wanted. Right now I am working on finishing my masters, I’ve been focusing on engineering. I really wanna get my PhD in engineering so I can have a better career in the near future and of course to spoil you when we meet. I hope you don’t mind cookies, I love baking and I do it as a hobby. When I bake I feel as the world is slowly sinking away and my fingers are creating a masterpiece, oh! That reminds me, I am also an artist so I hope you’re aware that you will become my muse as well. It’s a big thing for me because I don’t actually do things like this but lately every time I look at you…well, I just want to draw you into a renaissance painting or something of Mozart. Yes yes I know he’s a musician but I’m talking about the beauty of his classical music and that’s what I see with you. Anyways, I have a lot to say but I’ll keep them for the future and for me to speak about it to you that is if you don’t mind. Anyways, take care my lovely dove. I’ll see you then. ❤️

Your one and only future prince/princess

ʚɞ

If you want to give tips, click this link. Thank you in advanced. -sef.

Pile 2:

Heyyyy prince/princess,

Hiiii, okay so guess what?!!! I finally and I mean finally graduated from college!!! Whooo!!! 🥳🎉🎊🎁🎈🍾. I’m so happy right now because now I finally get the opportunity to have my dream career EEEEKK. Anyways, well actually not anyways, I mean I’m always so excited with everything actually I’m sorry for rambling on I can’t even think properly where were we? OH right!!

Okay, I’m sorry—I just wanted to say that I love you very much and I’m sorry this is a short message and I’m sorry that I’m so hyperactive but that’s because I suffer with ADHD/ADD. You gotta forgive me baby, I’m sorry. Oh crap, shit shit, I’m sorry I’m rambling on again. UGH. Sigh, I’m really sorry.

Okay I finally calmed myself down. I was getting very anxious about this but anyways, I just wanted to let you know if your feel down in any shape or form to always know that I am here for you even though we don’t know each other yet. I just wanted to let you know that your loved because I’m madly in love with you—hey did you know that? I’m literally and I mean literally in love with you. Actually it’s kind of crazy. I just can’t get enough of you. OH CRAP I FORGOT TO FINISH MY MESSAGE—right! And if you feel alone know that I’m by your side because we both can feel the connection and I feel it very strongly so you need to stop doubting your intuition because its pushing me away and I don’t want that to happen because i really do love you and I need you because i just-yeah I just really love you. Kind of crazy about you but not obsessive like those weirdos. I mean seriously those weirdos are creepy you know? How can you be so possessive and controlling over someone like that? Geez Louise anyways uh I rambled on once again. Man I’m so sorry. I just want to keep going but i shouldn’t. Till we meet again. 🤪Angel, stars, galaxy. That’s your nickname by the way and you will understand in the near future.

Cya, don’t wanna be ya, I’m sorry I’m joking. Peace.

ʚɞ

If you want to give tips, click this link. Thank you in advanced. -sef.

Pile 3:

Hey, hi, hello, what’s up baby girl/baby boy, captain,

So today I got a new sick apartment, I mean it’s all that jazz you know? The cool comfortable movie theater chairs with a nice tv. My bedroom comfortable as hell. The kitchen lookin’ fancy and shit. The whole shabang. Anyways, enough to talkin’ about my apartment, I was kind of curious about where you would be staying when you get here you know? I was thinking you could just sleep on my chest or lap wink wink. Both meanings if you catch my drift. And no I’m not sorry for bringing it up. But yeah, I’m an affectionate person with a poker face you know it’s kind of hard to find girls/guys who like me n shit. People think I’m fucking weird and crap but I swear baby girl/baby boy I’m not. Promise it. I promise and hope to die if I’m lyin’. Now now that’s a big step you know what I mean? Like I’m putting my life on the line for this promise n shit and I’ll do it again just for you baby. Just for you, my devilish and handsome prince/ beautiful princess.

ciao (goodbye), bunny

ʚɞ

If you want to give tips, click this link. Thank you in advanced. -sef.

#tarot reading #tarot cards #free readings #free tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarotblr #pac tarot #pick an image #pick a photo #tarottribe #tarot witch #tarotcommunity #tarot of the month #tarot of the divine #tarot readers of tumblr #tarot divination #psychic readings #intuitive readings #divination #astrology and tarot #tarot and astrology #tarot of tumblr #tarot #pac reading #tarot pac #tarot pick a card #pick a card tarot #tarot pick a pile

[mystolli]

## . . . [ birthday bitch ] !!

𖦹︎ genre: smut

𖦹︎ w/c: 2.9k

𖦹︎ cw: afab! reader (no pronouns specified), aphrodisiacs, handjobs/fingering, praise/light degradation, creampie, overstim, squirting

𖦹︎ a/n: im sorry for being 3 days late to posting for my bby’s bday!! im so bad with deadlines guys … but anyways happy bday kaeya i am forever yours 🫶

[ 10:12 AM ]

your plan for kaeya’s birthday was simple enough. a party tonight, invitations sent to all the knights. jean, lisa, rosaria, even diluc. cake, balloons, presents…

but it was your job as his lover to add a little twist to pick things up.

as you explained to him your proposals for the night, kaeya kissed your cheek and wrapped his arm around your waist as you walked through the market. “it sounds lovely.”

“but I also have a little game for us to play,” you finished, smiling at him in a way he knew wasn’t meant to be as doting as your previous words.

“oh?”

from your pocket, you pulled out a small unassuming pill. “you enjoy competitions, don’t you?” your eyes sparkled. “this is an aphrodisiac.”

kaeya nodded, peering at the pill, a smirk on his lips. what did you have in store for him this time?

“so how about this:” you pulled him in close, whispering so anyone passing by couldn’t hear. “I give you this tonight, for the party. if you can’t make it through without needing to relieve yourself, no birthday sex for you. but if you do…” you tugged his collar a little bit in the way you knew he liked. “i’ll give you the best fuck of your life.”

he looked at you, surprise on his face, before he switched to his cocky grin. “it’s my birthday, isn’t it? shouldn’t I be the one making demands?” his features hardened into a combative grin. “but it’s a deal.”

[ 5:48 PM ]

everything was going according to plan. streamers were hung in the party area, glasses of wine and champagne circled the area, and dim lighting coating the room with a cozy feel. kaeya stood by the island table, flipping a coin absentmindedly as he waited for you to finish getting ready.

he heard the pattering of your feet and turned to greet you with a suave smile. “dear, the guests will be here any second…” he stopped mid sentence to marvel in your beauty, eyes growing wide as his confident facade slipped away in the sight of his love. you finished clasping the necklace he had given you for a special occasion around your neck, fixing your hair and straightening your clothes. “sorry I’m late, I was rushing—” you paused, watching his eyes take you in from top to bottom with something hazy in his gaze.

“you look ravishing,” he finally spoke, pulling you in once you were close enough. “angels pray to look like you.”

you blushed a bit, containing your composure by placing the pill in his palm. “maybe it’ll be some more incentive for you to lose tonight.”

he rolled his eyes, popping the pill back with a swig of wine. “you’re almost too much to bear, making me suffer so much on my birthday.”

“well, if you keep your dick in your pants for the next two hours, we’ll see who’s suffering tonight.”

he opened his mouth to retort before there was a knock at the door, to which you smiled at him coyly, walking away to greet the first guest of the night.

kaeya shook his head, an amused expression on his face as he sipped from his glass again. he listened to you greet the visitors, wondering if maybe this wasn’t the best idea for his own sake.

[ 6:56 PM ]

this was definitely not the best idea for him.

a challenge that seemed easy in retrospect had greatly undermined him. he had obviously underestimated the strength of the pill, the ache in his pants, and his darling doll that seemed to be purposefully riling him up at this point.

the party had been wonderful so far. it was easy for him to take shots with lisa and rosaria, engage in discussion with jean and some of the other knights, and even work up some conversation between him and diluc. the first half of the party had been a breeze, tricking him into thinking the rest would be too. but he noticed his palms began to sweat. his cheeks were heavily hued, his body almost overwhelmingly hot. suddenly the gossip wasn’t loud enough to distract him from his thoughts, the alcohol not strong enough to stop him from looking at you across the room. and it wasn’t long before he had to hide behind the counter, readjusting his pants to hide the tent he could now barely conceal. he slapped himself lightly a few times.

get your head in the game. only an hour left to go.

he could win this. he just needed to get his mind off of things. unfortunately, you had other plans.

you knew kaeya well enough to tell he was struggling. the others around couldn’t sense anything was off, but you knew he was cracking. he was right where you wanted him.

you walked over to the counter he was conveniently hiding his lower half behind. your breath ghosted over the shell of his ear, fingers dancing on his arms. “sure you don’t want to give in yet?”

he looked away, peering at the guests to make sure none of them were watching. “why would I? I’m doing great.”

“really?” you crept under his arm, pushing yourself in front of him to brush your ass against his crotch.

he groaned a bit, looking back at the guests. “shit baby, don’t do this to me right now.”

“what, scared you’re going to lose?”

“you’re acting all high and mighty now, but an hour from now things will be very different for you,” he watched as you sent an innocent smile to a passing knight. “you might even be begging on your hands and knees for me to touch you.”

he lightly moved you away from him to release the friction you were building on his groin, blocking all the thoughts trying to break the dam and let a flood in.

“well, not if you don’t make it to the next hour.” you shot back to his comment, grinning.

“my, someone’s feeling bratty today.” kaeya raised his eyebrows at you, flipping his coin in the air and catching it with a quick hand. “we’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” he strode away, taking his wine glass with him.

as unbearable as this was for kaeya (no matter how much he tried to hide it), it was nearly torture for you as well. even though you hadn’t taken an aphrodisiac, watching him fidget with his slender hands and cross his ankles had you thinking of things you weren’t meant to at a birthday party. this whole situation was getting you worked up too, to the point where you eyed the clock every few minutes, waiting with baited breath for the hand to hit eight.

[ 7:32 PM ]

kaeya was seriously worried he might not be able to make it through the next half hour.

he found it to be abhorrent that he couldn’t even make it a full two hours on this pill, but it was starting to etch itself into the recesses of his mind. he excused himself to the bathroom more than once, only to splash water on his face or take a breather. he always made it quick, knowing your watchful eyes would interpret his absence as something else.

finally, things were picking up when they cut the cake, and kaeya almost felt relief knowing it soon would be coming to an end. this truly was a different kind of suffering. every time he thought of what he would do once the guests were gone, all kinds of images and ideas started crawling through him and he had to use the bathroom again to refocus.

meanwhile, you had to remind yourself to keep your eyes off of kaeya. because the longer you stared at him, the more you noticed his red tinted skin, the way his eyes looked clouded as if he was thinking of something else, and soon you were unconsciously pressing your thighs together.

when the clock struck 7:49, kaeya made sure his efforts to look tired were notice. maybe it was rude that he was trying to trick his friends into leaving, but he couldn’t stand this anymore. he knew in the next fifteen minutes, his composure would shatter and he would lose the challenge.

the first pair of knights left at 7:52, wishing him a happy birthday as he raised his glass at them in a thank you. slowly, a few more trickled out, and a few after that. diluc handed him a large box, conservatively wrapped, before he bid the two of you good night. kaeya’s heartbeat began to pick up, noting the last few guests in sight.

[ 8:00 PM ]

at 8:00, only lisa, jean and one last knight of favonius remained.

kaeya’s foot tapped anxiously, his hands shaking a bit around his glass. he wasn’t going to make it.

but to his luck, lisa and jean kissed the two of you on the cheeks, thanking you for the lovely evening. together they dragged out the last knight (who was almost too drunk to stand) and let the door shut softly behind them.

you turned the lock, letting the silence wrap around the two of you.

when you turned, kaeya looked like a fucking animal in heat. his tie strewn, the top of his shirt unbuttoned, eyes filled with a piercing lust. almost immediately he was on you, pushing you up against the door and locking your lips with his messily.

you let out a muffled sound in surprise, but fell into the softness of his mouth. he kissed you until he couldn’t breath, letting his hands finally wander up your body the way they’d been itching to all night long.

when he finally broke away, you slipped out from his embrace, walking towards the direction of the bedroom. but he grabbed you by your waist, letting you topple onto his lap on the couch.

he grabbed your hips, guiding them up and down against his erection.

you gasped, grabbing the pillow beside his head. “kaeya, l—let’s at least get to the bed—”

“no—fuck—I can’t wait anymore,” he groaned. “I’m sorry darling, but I can’t hold out for a single minute longer. do you know what hell you just put me through?”

you laughed a little bit. “archons, you’re needy. I thought you could at least wait to open presents.”

“you owe me something first.” he replied, letting his hips fall into a comfortable rhythm with yours. but soon the stimulation wasn’t enough, and he pulled you off of him and let you sink beside his body, already sheened with light sweat.

“touch me,” he almost demanded.

“well, that’s no way to speak to your saving grace.” you huffed, even though your hands were fighting to not do what he was asking.

“I’m not going to beg, babe.” he grinned at you. “birthday boy’s wishes, right?”

you let your fingers roam his abdomen, slipping down to palm at his bulge. he let out a sigh, too desperate to tease you. as you continued, you slipped off your clothes until you were left with only your panties on, a spot of dampness on them already clear. you unbuckled kaeya’s belt and pulled down his dress pants before slipping your fingers in the waistband of his boxers, letting them fall.

kaeya cursed under his breath, so relieved he couldn’t even speak. you felt as though you’d messed with him enough tonight—and it was his birthday.

you wrapped your hand around his erect cock, moving up and down his shaft. you collected the beads of precum, smearing them around his length as he fucked himself into your fist. every once and a while you’d swipe the slit of his tip, letting those cascades of breathy moans and your name fall out of his mouth. his head was tilted back, his arm covering his forehead as his hips bucked. you knew him well enough to know he was close, so you quickened your pace. to your surprise, he grabbed your wrist, stopping your movements. “what are you—?”

“mmph—fuck, c’mere.” he pulled you closer next to him, slipping his fingers down your panties to rub at your neglected bud.

you gasped as he let your slick collect on his fingers. “kaeya, it’s your birthday, I was trying to focus on you.”

“then I guess you don’t know how much I adore this pretty pussy of yours,” he replied, slipping your undergarments off fully. “now keep stroking me, sweetheart.”

you obliged, letting out little breaths and moans as kaeya’s slender fingers prodded their way into your hole. he leaned in closer, kissing along your jaw as his sinfully skilled hands made your legs shake a little. your hand continued to pump his cock just the way he liked, the heat of lust between the two of you palpable in your stares. “hah—baby, you’re doing so good for me,” he whispered.

“I thought you—mmph—told me I was gonna be on my hands and knees, begging for you to touch me,” you slurred.

“did I? well, things have changed. I forgot what a pretty thing you are to play with.” his body seized as you gave him a particularly pressured touch to his slit.

“ah, kaeya—” your hips bucked as he circled your clit with his thumb. “please, kaeya, please let me cum—!”

“and you said I was the desperate one, huh? didn’t take too much to have you begging like a slut.” he grinned, feeling his orgasm approaching.

his teasing ignited a different kind of desire in you. your hand stopped on his shaft and he sputtered in protest as you pulled yourself out from his grip. slowly, you lined yourself up, his tip nestling itself at your entrance before you sank down. the two of you let out twin moans as you wrapped you arms around his neck, leaning into him for support. he gripped the plushness of your thighs as you steadied yourself. “ah, so you’re an unpredictable slut now.” he noticed the way you tightened around him at his words, smirking.

you began to bounce on his cock with a squeal, kaeya’s grip strengthening on you. it didn’t take long for you to cum, since you’d been oh so close previously. you gushed around him as he toyed with your clit to help you ride out your high. the sight of your cum leaving a ring around the base of his dick made kaeya’s coil snap as he came too.

“look m-me in the eyes, angel,” he groaned, snapping you out of the drunkenness from your high. he smiled as you pulled in closer, your chests touching as you felt the heat of his cum pool through you.

“that’s my sweet thing,” he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and held your face in his palm. “so good to me on my birthday.”

he kissed your fingers and gave you a look equally as lustful as before. “but you gave me that pill, didn’t you? and I’m still not satisfied. so you think you can give me another?”

you nodded and he grinned, replacing his hands on your ass. you began to bounce again, crying out from the stimulation of his dick hitting all the right places. this angle was simply ecstasy, the way your clit kissed his pelvis and his cock brushed your cervix. it wasn’t long before the knot in your stomach twisted until it couldn’t anymore, and you came again. but kaeya didn’t stop.

he held your hips and guided you up and down with his own strength as you nearly sobbed from how overstimulated you were. he slapped your ass lightly a few times, purring about how good you were, cumming on his cock and still taking more.

“kaeya, kaeya—!” your cried, unable to even think of any other words. “m’ gonna cum again—”

he groaned deeply, watching his length disappear into you thrust after thrust.

“slow down—!” you squealed. “feels weird—m’ gonna, ah!” was all you managed to form before your eyes fluttered, completely dumbed down by kaeya’s dick.

“that’s right baby, make a mess for me, let it out.” he cooed in your ear.

the heat of your body skated through you as you squirted, crying out while your juices splattered onto his abdomen and both of your thighs.

his movements stuttered as he stared at your aftermath with wide eyes. the sight of you squirting on him, tears streaming down your cheeks was enough to have him cumming again, his voice strained and body almost erratic.

the two of you heaved breaths for a moment before you leaned into his chest, head foggy as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. though the scene was erotic, the warmth you both felt was anything but. it was tight strings of love, wrapping their way around each other until you were locked in close, tenderness dripping down the thread like it was doused in syrup.

“you never cease to amaze me, my darling.” he whispered, stroking your hair as you nuzzled into him and placed a kiss on his lips.

“happy birthday kaeya.”

#𖦹︎ : genshin 💭 #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin smut #kaeya x reader #kaeya smut #kaeya x reader smut #kaeya x you #kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya alberich smut #genshin impact imagines

[tater-tot-jr]

I think I should put in my two cents considering the Hazbin hotel leaked Angel Dust clip. I’ll say that this post should be one absolutely massive trigger warning. If you’re sensitive please don’t read this, I’m pretty blunt. Also I’m only talking about a small leak but SPOILERS!!!

So before I make any points I’ll start by saying that I’m not an inherent fan of vivziepop, this isn’t meat riding, it’s a genuine attempt at open conversation and discussion. I’ll also say I’m a survivor myself and while I don’t claim to speak for anyone else I have some ground to stand on here. I completely understand that people can be triggered by this type of imagery and will at least skip this particular scene or episode, I promise I’m not talking about you guys.

You wanna know who I am talking about though? The weird ass moral police I’ve been watching mobilize. It’s crazy how people are making a big deal out of this. I’ve seen three arguments and all of them are terrible in themselves and being used to justify terrible behavior.

I’ve only seen people claim three major things, this is a bad depiction of a s/a survivor and situation, this is something that’s too graphic and immoral to put in a TV show, the fact that the singing and dancing lightens the tone in a way people find distasteful. I’m going to be trying to prove why I find these arguments mostly ridiculous and unfounded.

As for argument one, s/a survivors come in all shapes and sizes and hyper sexuality happens to be an incredibly common reaction to sexual trauma. I haven’t watched episode one and two but even if I had I’d still have too small of a sample size to determine the entire tone of an incredibly messed up complex dynamic between too incredibly interesting and layered characters. It’s ridiculous to have so many assumptions and expectations of an *11 second leaked clip.*

Secondly. Creative freedom is possible the most important thing in art. If we didn’t have the freedom to put what we wanted on paper or on screen then we wouldn’t have had so much societal change recently. Just because you might find something distasteful and immoral doesn’t mean it absolutely has to be hated on and removed. It’s okay to not like things because you find them gross, it’s okay to not enjoy graphic depictions of serious subjects, it’s not okay to start internet wars over moral bullshit. It’s okay to be mad in silence sometimes, guys.

Thirdly. I kinda get this one, I don’t agree with it but I do understand the point. The idea you don’t want a serious subject framed with a sexy pop song is not inherently bad, it’s just something that makes me think you wouldn’t have liked Hazbin Hotel anyway. I actually appreciate the fact they are using the creative medium to make bold and shocking decisions but I get some people are sensitive to new things, that’s fine. Where this argument gets ridiculous is when people act like this is very out of line for a show like this. This isn’t a Saturday morning kids cartoon it’s and adult animated show about people in hell. It’s highly likely that this won’t be the worst thing we see, you either need to heed the trigger warnings at the beginning of each episode or get over it.

You’ll notice that I didn’t bring up anything about the merchandise pins or the storyboard artist, I did this because they aren’t arguments but barely related attempts at character assassinations. When you spend five minutes thinking about them critically you come to realize that there is nothing substantial to those arguments.

I’d like to finish up talking about how I think this scene is doing more good than harm. It’s important to make people uncomfortable when you’re talking about things so horrible like s/a and rape. It shouldn’t be meek and palatable for a general audience, it should upset you. I remember hearing something in a video game once that stuck with me. There was a character who said that when you’re sick you need strong medicine and that the strongest medication is very bitter.

I think episode four will be some very bitter medicine.

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #feel free to leave a comment if you disagree #it’s important to engage in discussions and I’d love to hear some other perspectives #if you leave a comment with arguments against any points I made I’ll do my best to respond to you with a potential counter argument #and it should go without saying that if I watch the episode and realize I’m completely wrong I’ll post a public apology

[tiredstrain]

James Potter is not a violent person. Really, he's not. Ask anyone. As a matter of fact, he spends a lot of his time convincing Sirius to not be a violent person. So, yeah, not violent at all. That is, until you show up on his doorstep crying for the second time this week.

“Sweetheart,” he groans, arms opening on their own accord.

You scrub at your cheeks, willing the tears to slow, but when you open your mouth all that comes out is a sob.

“Easy, easy, big breath,” he says. You inhale with him and hold it until he makes a show of breathing out. “What’s going on?” 

“He just…” Your voice cracks, but it’s only going to get worse if you don’t get it out now. “He just yelled at me and stormed out- he was so mad and I don’t even know why-” The sniffles and hiccups turn back into sobs and you don’t get to finish your sentence. James gets the idea, though; you two have been through this more than enough times. Your voice sounds so small when you ask, “What did I do?”

So no, James Potter is not a violent person, but he thinks that your so-called boyfriend better be thankful he’s too busy comforting you to track him down and make him regret making you cry.

He pulls you into his flat and onto the couch. It takes a while before either of you can manage to speak, so he rubs your back until you stop shaking. You keep opening your mouth and then closing it. Everything you want to say you’re sure you’ve said before. It hits you then just how often you find yourself in this position, with James comforting you over your boyfriend’s behavior. It’s upsetting that you’ve almost become used to this arrangement.

After a long moment, you find your voice again. “I just... I don’t know what I did.”

James takes a deep breath. “You didn’t do anything, love. He just needed something to be mad at and you happened to be there.” 

You sit with that for a moment. “He’s so…” Confusing. Frustrating. Mean.

“The worst. It’s okay, you can say he’s the worst.” James says, going for joking and missing by a mile.

“No, not the worst. I just don’t understand him.” You placate. 

“I also don’t understand why he treats you like this.” Something in his tone throws you, and you peer up to find him looking at you so intently it makes your heart do something funny that you do not read into.

You can’t stand him looking at you like that anymore, so you drop your gaze to your lap. “Yeah. Wish he wouldn’t.”

There’s a moment of quiet then, and James decides it’s now or never. “Love, can I ask you a favor?” He asks. Love. You remember one time your boyfriend tore into James over all the pet names he calls you, but you can’t find it in yourself to call him out on it right now. It never really bothered you anyway. 

You still don’t want to look at him, so you play with your fingers. “I guess, since you let me cry all over your sweater.”

“The snot will wash right out.” You smile for the first time since you got here, and James is so pleased he could do a cartwheel. The joy is short lived, though. “Leave him.”

“James…”

“I’m serious. Break up with him. He’s a nightmare. Your friends hate him. I hate him. Leave him.” You look at him then. Not a trace of joking on his face. You didn’t imagine there would be; you get this lecture from your friends at least once a week, but this is the first time from James. You wonder how long he’s been biting his tongue. 

“No, I know. He’s just… You’d think I’d be used to it by now.” And James swears his heart has never hurt this much before.

“Don’t go back to his flat tonight. Please.”

“Where-” 

“Here.” He cuts you off. “You can have my bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“A lot of my things are at his place.” 

“I’ll get all of it for you tomorrow morning. I’ll go now if you really want your stuff.”

You sigh. You don’t really want to go back. “You make all of this sound so simple.”

“It’s so simple, angel. You shouldn’t be with him. You should be with someone that’s nice to you.” That something in his voice is back, but this time it makes you feel all sorts of things you don’t have the energy to tamp it all down.

“Jamie, I…” Your voice wavers, and his arms go around you before you can finish your thought. It’s not that different a position from how you two were mere minutes ago. 

“I know, love. I know,” he reassures easily. “It’s okay.”

It’s okay. For the first time, it’s easy to believe him. 

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #marauders #marauders era #james potter fluff #james potter blurb #james potter drabble

[kexing]

So many new pictures and reels from the Destiny clinic event.

ForceBook overload! ForceBook overload! 👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾

Send help!!! 🆘️🆘️🆘️

On another note: At least they didn't look so tired today. So I'm happy about that 🤗

Hope you had a lovely day today. And in case you need to hear it today, you're AWESOME!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

hi bestie!!!! soooo glad you mentioned that because yes!! so much content and i’ve been collecting them like pokémon, which i shouldn’t be doing so i’m gonna share them here and move on akdkskdksk send help indeed!!

GUESS WHO WAS STILL TAKING PHOTOS OF HIS BESTIE AFTER THE EVENT????? akdkskdksk yes, you guessed correctly!

they looked so soft today and even the fan service was incredibly soft. god bless alkdkskdkskd

the category is, as always, fond best friend and force will always win!!!

BOOKIE PRETENDING TO BE FORCE’S BODYGUARD I’M AKDKKSDKKKD don’t mess with his bestie, i am so serious with you right now

like please, they are so beautiful 😩😩😩

bookie deadass looked like an angel!!!! 🤧🤧🤧

force knowing that book tends to overthink things so he reassures him that it’s okay and that he’s with always with him 🤧🤧🤧

THE MAIN VISUALS. this has never been a joke to me

force helping book say goodbye to all of their fan clubs. they’re so sweet. also force was worried for the fans since there were a lot of girls and it was already late to go home. so he kept telling them to be safe 🤧🤧🤧

overall, we’ve learned today what we already knew about them. force and book are gentle human beings who love their fans and each other a lot 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

anyways!! sorry for the spam!!!!

they definitely looked less tired today and happier! thankfully!!

i did! thank you so much!! you are suuuuper awesome as well!! thank you for stopping by!! have a lovely weekend!

#ellasaru12 #mj got mail!

[ineffably-poetic]

hi everyone i have a very important announcement to make

GOOD OMENS RAPUNZEL AU

once again i’m gonna need you to hear me out on this one.

so Zira is an angel who is scared to go against the rules, but part of him wants to be free. Who else is like that? Rapunzel.

Crowley is a demon who actively breaks the rules and goes against everyone else, and convinces Aziraphale to do that as well. Who else is like that? Flynn Rider.

Gabriel is an angel who always puts Zira down, tells him Crowley is the enemy, and that he’s naive, too soft. Who else does this? Mother Gothel.

Now does everyone remember Mother Knows Best (Reprise)?

Okay listen:

[RAPUNZEL, spoken] I think he likes me

[MOTHER GOTHEL] Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented This is why you never should have left Dear, this whole romance that you've invented Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really? Look at you, you think that he's impressed?

So Aziraphale is in love with Crowley, right? And obviously Gabriel thinks Aziraphale shouldn’t be on Earth. SAME AS IN THE LYRICS.

[RAPUNZEL] No!

[MOTHER GOTHEL, spoken] No? Oh, I see how it is.

Rapunzel knows best Rapunzel's so mature now Such a clever grown-up miss Rapunzel knows best Fine, if you're so sure now Go ahead, then give him this

This is why he's here! Don't let him deceive you! Give it to him, watch, you'll see!

Trust me, my dear That's how fast he'll leave you I won't say I told you so - no Rapunzel knows best! So if he's such a dreamboat Go and put him to the test

Aziraphale finally tries to defy Heaven’s wishes near the end, but is once again shut down when Uriel and Sandalphon come down to Earth. Then he does so again by not participating in the war. And then finally he helps Adam save the world.

Also, what is Crowley trying to get from Aziraphale in Episode 3? HOLY WATER. So instead of Flynn trying to get the crown, it’s Crowley trying to get the holy water.

If he's lying Don't come crying Mother knows best...

Also, this could be a stretch, but “Mother” could be argued as God. Maybe Gabriel is trying to convince Aziraphale to follow along with him because it’s “what the Almighty wants”.

anyway, yeah. that’s why there should be a Good Omens Rapunzel AU.

(and don’t even get me started on how Rapunzel and Flynn reflect Zira and Crowley’s sunshine personified and grumpy guy who’s actually a nice person dynamic)

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #rapunzel #tangled #flynn rider #AU idea #can someone write this that would be amazing

[moonlight-sonata99]

Angel Baby

Echo x Jedi!Reader

Songfic

Go listen to the song....RIGHT NOW

Warnings: episode 8 spoilers! Mutual pining, angst?? read at your own risk luvs :-; O66 mentions,weapons.

A/n: we crying in the club- anyways couldn't get this song out of my head while thinking about this so..why not. there will be part 2. bt i want to see how he will come back so its gonna be a while TT

“ I need a lover to keep me sane”

“Echo?” a  voice calls out to the man as he had his back turned in thought, [Name] walked closer to him clearing their throat and fidgeting with their fingers, 

“Echo..?” they whisper again,Echo who now heard the person behind him looked back. 

“[Name]?what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with omega?” frantically he looked around as you slowly nodded.

“Omegas with hunter so its fine” [Name] nodded slowly and sitting down in the pilot seat next to him,

“Is it the dreams again..?” echo asked glancing at [Name] who lifted their knees up to their chest and kept their gaze to the floor.

“Yea..i had them last night id-” 

“There's no need to explain yourself, i-” He stopped himself “I know how it feels like, having those type of dreams, “ Echo explained, [name] softly smiling,shifting their gaze to echo.

“Thanks…” 

“Pull me from hell, bring me back again

Play me the classics

Something romantic

Give him my all when I don't even have it”

I always dreamed of a solemn face

Someone who feels like a holiday

“You must be ridiculous, obi-wan?with Duchess Satine? Anakin, you truly always surprise me.” {Name} scoffed as they walked amongst the velvet hallway as the jedi in back of them pursued.

“[Name] I know you out of all people would love to tease obi-wan about this.” Anakin admitted behind them as he grinned.

they] stopped and slowly turned their head to the man. 

“Perhaps…” they said turning their back to Anakin and slowly began to walk.

Anakin kept his gaze on the person in front of him, as he made his way to them again.

“Your usually quiet today…” he trailed off as you let out a sigh. 

“I just-” 

“Do you like obi-wan??” anakin blurted out, wide eyed [Name] turned quickly

“NO!” {Name] covered their mouth and coughed. “No, it's not like that!” they hissed at him.

“Then..?” anakin asked, looking at you, [name] sighed and looked around. And lifted their hand to their mouth and whispered.

“Do you remember Master Orion? I heard she got stripped of her rank because she loved another” [Name] whispered looking around as anakin looked at them. 

“So?”  anakin asked, shaking his head. 

“If obi wan wi-”

“Is it really so bad? To love another person??” anakin asked again with frustration in his voice. he huffed turned and walked away, as [Name] stood there wide eyed

‘Was it…so bad..?’

‘Falling in love..?’

“But now I'm in pieces

Barely believing

Starting to think that I've lost all feeling

You came out the blue on a rainy night

No lie”

“DONT COME NEAR ME!” The hooded figure screamed flailing the weapon around as the group dropped there blasters,

“We're not gonna hurt you!” Omega reassured, clearly worried for the individual in front of her.

“Omega!be careful!” Hunter warned with his hands in the air to show that he had no weapon.

“Y-your clones…” the figure mumbled the weapon still in their hands, “Why aren't you shooting at me..?”

“We have no reason to shoot you,we're not like the other clones.” Echo stated, inching closer to the figure.

“T..they killed all of my friends…my family…” they mumbled shaking their head tears following down their cheeks 

Omegas eyes softened 

“We have to help her…” she whispered as hunter looked back at the small girl.

“I-im so…” the figure trailed off softly before collapsing to the ground and dropping their weapon.

“Are they okay?!” omega exclaimed running towards the figure. 

“They are alright, They seem to be fatigued.” tech states adjusting his goggles looking at the figure.

“They also appear to be carrying a lightsaber.” he adds looking at the lightsaber that now rolled on the ground.

“A jedi…?” wrecker asked picking up the lightsaber.

I'll tell you how I almost died

While you're bringing me back to life

Echo sat across from [name] as he listened intently to their story,

“Then..when I returned it felt odd, there was something…so wrong in the force..” [Name] explained holding their palm to their temple as they looked to the floor. Echo nodded softly, his gaze still on [name].

“Then my team started shooting at me” they croaked out. “I was so scared..” 

Echo looked down, laying his elbows on his knees. Deciphering what to say.

Sniffling you look up,

“You dont need to say anything..it just..”

“Feels good to finally let it out?” echo added as [Name] smiled

“Yea..”

“I just wanna live in this moment forever

'Cause I'm afraid that living couldn't get any better

Started giving up on the word "forever"

Until you gave up heaven, so we could be together”

“You're not going with them?” echo asked [Name] made their way back into the marauder and turned their gaze to him.

“No, i..” name trailed off avoiding echo as their heart began to race.and they rubbed their arms

“I guess i- grew attached” they chuckled, smiling sheepishly. 

“I'm going to stay, if you guys would let me!” 

“Of c-”

“Of course!!!” omega chimes in the front of the ship,

“Omega...” echo scolds

“Sorry,sorry...”

.” You're my angel

Angel baby, angel

You're my angel, baby

Baby, you're my angel

Angel baby

All the sick and twisted nights that I've been waiting for ya

They were worth it all along, yeah”

“So…your telling me…that you face planted into the water?” {Name] repeated as echo looked away taking a sip from his drink as [name] held in their breath.

“Dont.laugh.” he warned as name shook their head.

“Im not-!” they coughed and placed a hand in front of their mouth. “I'm not, I promise!” they blurted out as echo turned his gaze to them with a “don't do this’ expression.

“Echo- PFFT” name bursts out laughing as echo sighs with a smile and looks away.

“Omm sorry-” [name] mumbles covering their mouth coughing, they settle down and place their palm against the countertop.

“Okay okay..so- im sorry i can't!!” they laugh as echo lets out a small chuckle.

Just a little one.

“You're my angel

Angel baby, angel

You're my angel, baby

Baby, you're my angel

Angel baby”

{Name] watches as omega whose teary eyed make her way onto the ship, they sigh and turn to echo.

“So..this is it?” they mumble out as echo looks at them.

“For now.” echo replies as {Name} looks away a warm sensation starting to pool in their chest.

“Any idea of when you’ll come back at least…?” [name] ask and echo shakes his head.

‘Hm…” they hum as they stand crossing their arms and looking down at the floor. Their chest is heavy, and their vision becomes blurry.

“Hey,we went over this…I'-.” echo states placing a hand on [names] shoulder as name nods.

“I know,i know... i just…” [name] sighs shaking their head. “This is where you're needed, I understand…” they whisper. Echo gives them a small smile,

[Name] hand reaches for echos and holds it,

“Until then, dont die!” {Name} warns letting go his hand and turning to rex 

“Take him care of him for us” they say as Rex nods.

“You have my word General”  he states, Nodding you turn back to echo.

“Well i..can't keep the squad waiting..i’ll take care of them. So don't worry your head off” they tease as echo chuckles.

“We’ll see eachother again.” echo states, {Name] smiles tears threatening to fall. They turn around and begin to walk back to the ship, as they climb back on the marauder, glance behind them to meet echos gaze again and give a small nod. Before making their way in as the door closes behind them.

Angel

Angel baby,

 angel (you're my angel, baby)

You're my angel,

 baby (you're my angel, baby)

Baby, you're my angel

Angel baby

#the bad batch x reader #Thebadbatchechoxreader #tbb echo x reader #tbb echo x you #tbb fanfiction #echo fanfiction

[walker-extended-universe]

"Are you an angel?"

Relationship(s): Colton Davidson/Stella Walker

Tags/Warnings: Hospital AU, First Meetings, Nurse!Stella, Injury Recovery, Flirting, Awkward Flirting

Summary: Colton is in the hospital recovering from surgery. He has a good nurse.

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @itsjessiegirl1, @neptunium134

@walkerverse-bingo square filled: Hospital AU

Written for @sicktember prompt 25: Confused/Disoriented

---------

Colton slowly opened his eyes and immediately closed them. Why were the lights in his room so bright?

Someone in the room was humming. It was…nice. Almost nice enough to send him back to sleep. Well, it would have if it weren’t for the shooting pain in his side. What was that all about anyway? He groaned and tried to adjust himself to be more comfortable but nothing seemed to work.

“Take it easy, Mr. Davidson,” said a soft voice. “You shouldn’t lay on your side like that; you’ll strain the stitches.”

“M’ name’s Colton,” he muttered. “And it hurts….”

“Alright, just relax.” Gentle hands rolled him back onto his back. “It’s about time for your next dose of pain medications. Just relax for a minute and you’ll feel better, okay?"

He might have responded if sleep wasn’t already pulling him under.

When he woke up next, he heard more voices in the room, some more familiar than others. There was also someone closer to him, adjusting his sheets.

He forced his eyes open and saw the most beautiful face leaning over him. A few stray strands of red hair fell from a neatly tied bun, drawing his attention to her soft, round face. A dusting of freckles covered her delicate pointed nose, drawing out the color of her blue eyes. Her pink lips were slightly downturned in concern and, in that moment, all he could think about was making her smile.

“Are you an angel?” he asked, voice raspy with dehydration.

The woman looked at him and smiled. “No, just a nurse.”

Colton wanted to ask her if she was sure about that but then all of a sudden the other people in the room- how family- noticed he was awake and he was surrounded. He managed to stay awake just long enough for the doctor to explain that his surgery had gone well and he was no longer in danger of dying from his burst appendix. He was listening to the doctor explaining he was going to need to stay for a little while longer before sleep (and his pain medications) pulled him back under.

He dreamed of a beautiful smile and flowing red hair.

When he woke up again, he was alone in the room. Well, not entirely. There was someone humming. Forcing his eyes open, he looked around and saw his angel- nurse- checking the machines while she hummed softly. She glanced over at him and smiled when she saw he was awake. “Hello, Colton,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

He couldn’t help but smile back and he was blissed out enough not to care how stupid he looked. “Better with you here.”

She chuckled. “That’s the pain medicine talking. And that’ll start wearing off soon; we’re going to start weaning you off so you can get out of here.”

“Why would I want to do that? You’re here.”

“I’m sure you have plenty of good things waiting for you outside. Family, friends, a girlfriend….”

Colton shook his head. “No, no girlfriend.”

“Well, maybe you’ll find one once you get out. Especially now that you’ve got a little scar. Maybe you can come up with a badass story for it.” She chuckled and pressed some buttons on another machine.

“Maybe I’ll just come back and ask you.”

“Oh, will you?” She smiled and shook her head. “That’s very sweet of you but you really don’t need to go through all that trouble. I’m sure you have other things to do.”

“Not more important than talking to you Miss….?” He needed to know his angel’s name.

“Stella. Stella Walker.” She adjusted his bedsheet. “And I think you’ve got plenty of better things to do than talk to me. Like recover from your surgery and start getting back to your normal life. You can’t go risking life and limb for a pretty face.”

Colton could admit she might have a point about that. “Well….What if I came after that? Then I wouldn’t be risking anything.”

She chuckled. “We’ll see if you still feel like coming to talk to me after that, okay? Now, I’ve gotta go get your doctor and he can talk to you about your recovery. Play nice and try not to flirt too much, okay?”

“I won’t flirt with anyone but you,” he promised.

—------------

Two weeks later, Colton was out of the hospital. Well, he was out of his recovery anyway. The doctor had given him a clean bill of health and he was free to go back to working in the kitchen at one of the local restaurants.

But he was back at the hospital today for a reason unrelated to his health. He had a pretty nurse to apologize to. He cringed just thinking about some of the cheesy “flirting” he did while under her care. He hoped she would accept his apology and not throw the latte he bought for her back in his face.

He walked up to the reception desk and asked to speak with Stella Walker, praying she was in that day. He was told to wait by the side of the desk and she’d be there shortly.

A few minutes later, there she was. And his pain medicine addled memory did not lie to him. He smiled sheepishly as she approached and his heart melted at her answering smile. “Mr. Davidson,” she greeted. “What can I do for you? Having any trouble after the surgery?”

He shook his head. “Uh, no, I’m all good. You and the doctor did a good job. I just- I wanted to apologize for…some of the stuff I said while I was here. I know I was hopped up on pain meds but I know it was inappropriate and I don’t have any excuse.” He held out the coffee as a peace offering. “I wasn’t sure what kind you liked but they had the peppermint latte special going on and-”

“Thank you, Colton,” she said, still smiling and putting him out of his misery. “And I appreciate the gesture but you really didn’t have to. You’re not the first patient that’s complimented me while under the influence. Though you are the first one that wasn’t twice my age….”

They both cringed at that and she laughed a little. “I’m serious though; I really didn’t mind. I mean, yeah, it was a little weird but you’re cute and you kept your promise not to flirt with anyone else so I’m gonna let it slide. I actually almost thought you were here to ask me out like you said you would….”

Colton blushed. “I- Well, I wasn’t planning on it but I was also kind of just hoping you wouldn’t dump that latte on me so….”

She laughed again. “I would never waste coffee like that.” Her pager went off and she huffed. “Okay, I’ve gotta go but-” she grabbed a pen and paper from the reception desk and scribbled something on it. “This is my number. If you feel like calling it and setting up a date when I’m not so busy.” She pushed the paper into his hands and grabbed her coffee. “Thanks again!” she called as she dashed down the hall.

“You’re welcome!” he called after her, clutching the paper to his chest.

Could this get more cliche? Colton couldn’t wait to find out.

[Text to: Angel]: Hey, this is Colton. I’m free this Saturday if you are.

[Text from: Angel]: Hey! I’ve got the day off so that’s perfect. Where should we meet?

[Text to: Angel]: I know a place on Main where I can get us a discount

[Text from: Angel]: Even better ;) See you then!

#walkerverse bingo #hospital au #sicktember #confused/disoriented #stella/colton #walker #walker fic #walker fanfic #my writing #my fic

[hebimoonlightwrites]

I was thinking a lot about asking for this, because it will surely sound very childish xd if you want you can write it, headcanons for akyr (you only accept four so all without zen :'((sori zen) having as a crush a female reader who has the beauty of snow white, yes, as described in the books along with a soft personality skjsjsjs I know that paralive is far from being something like disney, they are two opposite poles hahaha well that's all and thanks for writing for paralive <3

Writer's corner: Aww! That's adorable!! Thank you for requesting! It's been fun writing it! Hope you enjoy reading it! ⋆

Warnings: none, only adorable things here ⋆

⋆𝓐𝓚𝓨𝓡 (𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓖𝓪𝔃𝓮𝓷)⋆ 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓼𝓱 𝓸𝓷 𝓪 𝓢𝓷𝓸𝔀-𝓦𝓱𝓲𝓽𝓮-𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓶!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

⋆Iori is known to be cheerful most of the time. It seems like no one has ever seen him with a sad expression on his face, or even an angry one. (Maybe someone has seen him angry, but didn’t survive to tell the others- oopsie!) That’s how he is! We know he spent his past in a Yakuza group, sooo... We shouldn’t expect him to behave like Teletubbies-----

⋆Anyway, let’s imagine you being called up by your best friend, who told you to get dressed and prepared because they’re going to bring you to the Club CANDY. They would sound pretty excited about it, but you’re not so into this kind of nights. In any case you’d decide to give it a try and go to that club with your dear friend. That’s how you’d meet Iori for the first time.

⋆It’s incredible how he’d change his usual facial expression when he’d meet your eyes. You’d look so beautiful, but it wouldn’t be in a human-like-beauty.. you’d seem so angelic. Your skin as white as snow, your hair as dark as ebony and your lips and cheeks naturally as red as apples.

⋆He would stop talking to Anne only to stare at you and change his expression: he’d go from a laughter to a surprised look. His gaze would move through the crowd, reaching you even if you are among many people, who are drinking and chatting. Even you’d manage to focus your attention to that man. You’d see his features too: his lightly tanned skin, his sharp purple eyes, his black hair gradually lightened to purple in the ends. Without realizing it, you’d open your eyes wide as your heart starts beating faster than before.So that’s how you both would meet and become friends through the months.

⋆Iori couldn’t do anything but remind that night when he saw you and admit to himself that, yes, he does have a crush on you... On you, indeed! On you, who are so different from him. He would stare at you, sitting facing the garden, where you are spending some time with the other AKYR’s members (like trying to caress at least one of Hokusai’s cats, or laughing because of Reo and Satsuki, who are arguing again). Your movements would be so elegant, your laughter so melodious.. it would sound like music to Iori’s ears and make him smile kindly genuinely.

⋆”Uhmm.. Suiseki-san.”, your voice would wake him up from his deep thoughts. He would gasp a little bit, but then clear his throat and look at you, waiting for what you are going to tell him, waiting impatiently to hear your voice again.

“Zen has just told me you’ll need more help at Club CANDY tonight.. I’ll be happier to lend an hand!!”, you’d say closing your eyes and smiling brightly. He would stand up suddenly: “But-! You told me you were busy tonight..-”

⋆Unbelievable!! You’d be act so gently that I headcanon that Iori would really get embarrassed! (and we all know how hard is to make him blush!) I mean.. You’re really going to delete your tasks, maybe even the important ones, only to go there and help him...?

⋆”Oh.. Don’t worry about it! I can come up with something! I’m always happy of helping!”

⋆He’d appreciate also your voice.. oh, well.. especially your voice. I don’t know why, but I imagine him being awoken in the morning and then hearing your voice from the garden. After that he would reach the garden, trying not to make you notice he’s there, and open his eyes wide, finding you treating the plants and singing in the meantime, like a real Disney princess.

⋆It’s said that Iori doesn’t really understand when something is wrong or right, ‘cause he spent so much time in Yakuza.. but I headcanon he would learn it from you!

⋆He would see you helping others, even people whom you don’t really know and would be surprised at first, but then smiled kindly and even try to join you. Who knows? He would even end up enjoying it!

⋆But your gentleness is not the only thing which actually makes him wonder if you’re really human or not. But your being always so perfect. Probably you don’t even think you’re good enough at doing something. I headcanon him being able at least once to tell you to stop doubting of yourself. He’d tell you something like:

⋆”Uhm.. Listen, y/n. You should believe more in yourself.. I mean.. 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮’𝓼 𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓲𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓲𝓭 𝓲𝓽!! Damn, you’re amazing at everything!!”

⋆Satsuki is the type of guy who likes setting up fights but, deeply inside himself, is adorable. Like, really.. He’s so cute that he can’t handle dirty jokes! But, despite his actual being, he kinda likes acting and speaking roughly.

⋆That’s why I pretty headcanon you and him meeting for the first time during a fight, in which one of your dearest friend has been involved by mistake. You’d see Satsuki behaving like a giant jerk, leading the fight and, even if scared, you’d also try to stop everyone there. You really wouldn’t stand any kind of violence, especially if unfounded.

⋆”Stop that, you idiot!”, you’d cover your wounded friend behind, standing in front of Satsuki, who would finally focus on you better. That’s when he’d stop, letting his Phantometal, his butterfly knife, fall onto the ground and opening his eyes wide. That’s when he’d notice your incredibly beauty: your skin as white as snow, your hair as dark as ebony and your lips and cheeks naturally as red as apples.

⋆At first you wouldn’t get along with him, oh well.. he would try, but you would ignore him, thinking he’s too violent. After some time he’d find the courage to tell you something like:

“Y/n, I... uhm... I wanted to tell you that... uhm... AARGHH. I’m so sorry, okay?!?! It wasn’t my intention to wound your friend. I’ve mistook him for someone else, I swear!!”

⋆Then you’d forgive him and try to know him more. You’d learn how sensitive and adorable he actually is; you’d see how he cares about other AKYR’s members and, even if he usually argues with Reo, how he actually loves him as a brother.

⋆The more you spend the time with him, the more you’d learn to love him.

⋆When he gets angry, you’d be there to make him relax, singing. He’d gently place his head on your lap, as you’d start caressing his hair and singing angelically. He’d close his eyes and, in just a second, he would forget the reason of his madness.

⋆”Who taught you how to sing, y/n..? Why am I asking? Well... ‘cause I think 𝔂𝓸𝓾’𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓿𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓘’𝓿𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓭…”, he’d whisper the last part of this sentence.

⋆After some months he would start asking himself why he usually gets embarrassed when he sees you or why he seems to need to see you or hear your voice.

⋆I headcanon him even calling you after some minutes after you left AKYR’s house, heading to yours, only because he terribly need to hear your voice again.

⋆Anyway he’d be really confused and take sometime to realize that he actually has a crush on you. When he does, I think he would ask Aniki Iori for some advice and try to find the right moment to tell you everything he feels.

⋆I don’t think he would be insecure telling you about his feelings, ‘cause he’s too confident that also his quote demonstrates it: “No matter who the opponent is, I’ll knock them down!”

⋆But I’m sure you’d be such a treasure to him too. You’d teach him a lot, especially how to be kind and how gentleness, in your opinion, is the actual strength.

⋆He’d see you holding a little wounded squirrel one day. You’d try to cure it in any way. That’s when I think he would reach you and ask something like:

⋆”What are you doing holding that shitty thing, y/n?”

⋆”What?.. I’m trying to cure it... it’s wounded...”

⋆”Why are you trying to?”, he’d be surprised, looking at you and raising an eyebrow. You’d bite your lips and look at the ground, still holding that poor creature.

⋆”Because we always should try to be gentle with the others, don’t you think?”

⋆He’s soooo adorable, oh my Goooooooddd!! This gentle giant really loves being surrounded by animals, especially cats, so I actually headcanon him having a crush in a Snow-White-like reader, ‘cause you both could have so many things in common!

⋆You’d surely spend some time together, chilling and petting cats, no doubt, even if in silence; ‘cause this pretty boi is also shy and don’t speak so much.

⋆If I have to imagine the way you both could meet for the first time, I think of a calm day at the park. While walking all alone, enjoying the nature’s sounds, you’d soon see a very tall and at first sight terrifying guy surrounded by plenty of cats, petting some of them in silence.

⋆You’d stop walking in front of him, even if still far away, and stare for a second, trying to understand what he’s doing all alone there with all those cats.

⋆Soon he’d see you and, under his curly green fringe, would open his eyes wide, as he would do a little with his mouth, in surprise. He’d immediately notice your characteristics, your beautiful features: your skin as white as snow, your hair as dark as ebony and your lips and cheeks naturally as red as apples.

⋆Precisely when he’d think you’d run away scared of him, or just ignore him, you’d approach him, getting him even more surprised, and introduce yourself:

“Hi! I’m y/n! Are all these cats yours? They’re adorable!”, you’d just say and become immediately his crush.

⋆We know that Masaki is introverted especially for the reason that when he was younger was bullied by his own classmates, just because of his father’s imprisonment. So I can really imagine you both able to create a contact so tight that you’d even understand each other without saying a word.

⋆But that’s what he would like of you, though: the fact that you both simply search for each other only to spend some time together, keeping silence, just listening to your heart’s beating’s echo.

⋆He’d love your voice, and usually ask you to sing something. Of course you’d do it, and after some time you’d turn to face him only to realize that he has fallen asleep. His sleepy calm expression would make you even more in love with him, because he’s also a really handsome guy.

⋆Seeing your true being, your gentleness, your will to help others, to delete all the crimes and, especially, to forgive who’s made mistakes in life would really make him fall for you.

⋆He’d help you to pet one of his cats, the one you prefer, and would hand it to you. In that exact moment, when you’d try to take that little and sweet animal, you’d place your hands on Hokusai’s ones. That’s when he’d realize he’s fallen for you. He’d admit it to himself but, while I headcanon Satsuki asking Aniki Iori for advices, I headcanon this giant cute boy asking his cats for advice and, maybe, even Ryu, who’s his walking companion.

⋆I even think he’d listen to Ryu’s advices but decide not to follow them, since they would be totally strange.

⋆What would he learn from you? Surely to be more extroverted, oh well, to speak more. He’s totally introverted, so I think he would open up more, especially when you both hang out in crowded places.

“It’s beautiful to spend the time with you, y/n-chan.. 𝓨𝓸𝓾’𝓻𝓮 𝓬𝓾𝓽𝓮.”

⋆AAAAH! Reo! Reo is the cutest of the AKYR’s members, in my opinion! He’s also the youngest of them all and personally my favourite one. He usually argues with Satsuki but this doesn’t mean they hate each other.

⋆Anyway Reo spends his free time playing any kind of games, so I pretty headcanon him playing video-games against Satsuki most of time.

⋆He would totally get along well with a Snow-White-like reader, especially because he’s adorable and lively!

⋆How do I imagine you both would meet? Well, surely at a mall, while Reo and Satsuki would go to buy the newest video-game. Reo would like jump around, looking at every shop window until he’d stop and focus more on one in particular, when he’d see a beautiful girl with a skin as white as snow, the hair as dark as ebony and the lips and cheeks naturally as red as apples.

⋆That’s how he’d decide to enter the shop, ignoring Satsuki who’d call his name and ask where the heck he’s going. He’d reach you jumping and holding a plastic bag, with the new video-game in it.

“Heyyy! I’m Reo! Nice to meet you!”

⋆So, yeah.. I pretty headcanon him doing the first step and introduce himself. You’d immediately see how adorable and cute he is and introduce yourself back, then open your eyes wide and blush a little as you’d hear him complimenting your name:

“y/n?... It’s a cute name!!”

⋆Reo is pretty childish and always wants to be at the centre of the attention at all costs, so I imagine him trying to do anything to make you notice him, like winning a game against Satsuki and yell happily:

“y/n!!! I did it!! See? I’m not only cute, but also great at playing! 𝓘’𝓶 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓽!!”

⋆You both would hang out, perhaps to buy an ice-cream, and he would also tease you, wiping away some ice-cream from your cheek or lips.

⋆But I quite headcanon also him asking you to taste the ice-cream’s flavours you got too. I don’t know why, but I think he would be the TEASE in person!!

⋆”Ahahah! You’re cute when you blush, y/n-chan!”

⋆Even if he’s already adorable, such a cutie-pie, he would also learn a lot from you, from your kindness, from your will of helping, and from your innocence.

⋆He’d hear you singing for the first time at night, when you can’t sleep. He’d reach you, following your voice and, at first, he’d really think he’s dreaming, ‘cause your voice sounds so amazingly! Seriously, are you an angel?

⋆That’s when he’d sit next to you and show you also his serious part, ‘cause he’s certainly not only the happy Reo-kun we know, but he’s more and had to overcome many difficulties, as other AKYR’s members had (and also every character in Paradox Live, though, lol).

⋆He’d trust you and tell you about his past. That’s when he’d realize he has fallen for you.

⋆He’s always truly happier when you’re with him. You can just sit there, or look at his eyes, or even just breathe and he’d be happier... he’d feel happier.

⋆”You should be some kind of a treasure, y/n-chan, because 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓯𝓮����𝓵 𝓼𝓸 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂..!”

©hebimoonlightwrites_tumblr Please, do not copy my contents nor repost it without my permission.

#paradox live #paradox live x reader #paradox live headcanons #paradox live headcanon #paradox live akyr #akyr #akan yatsura #iori suiseki #satsuki ito #hokusai masaki #reo maruyama

[fractualized]

Well, whatever the fuck is going on in Zdarsky's Batman right now doesn't make me feel great about the eventual reveal for the Jokers in The Man Who Stopped Laughing, but I enjoyed TMWSL #8 today and I'm going to focus on that and not how very fucking over the multiverse I am.

As always, spoilers for TMWSL ahead!

As much as I enjoyed last issue, I'm happy to catch up with who I still think of as Protagonist Joker. He's got that sad, half-dead underdog appeal! And he has a half-dead friend!

Grundyjokes lives!

They don’t have to be this cute. Why are they so cute in their weird little subterranean friendship.

You may remember, however, that the Joker in Los Angeles is, uh, not making friends.

Real original commentary, lady!

How much people across the country (or the world or the galaxy) are familiar with DC's heroes and villains changes depending on the needs of the story, but I think I prefer a world where their notoriety is more localized just for opportunities like this. lol

And so does Joker, who takes the opportunity to stab Manhunter and escape, before we’re back in the Gotham sewers with another Gotham creature, Killer Croc.

>:[ Joker, you're not gonna make more friends like this.

As Protagonist Joker antagonizes Waylon, LA Joker is desperately trying to not be in LA.

I thought the door lock was a funny beat, and then this happens.

Hee, classic.

Just when I think Mr. Waffles will finally come to the rescue...

Oh, perhaps Killer Moth is a friend? But this issue is cutting back and forth pretty often, and we’re back with a different Killer on the hunt.

Oh. Oh, that poor utility worker.

Just burning up to nothing behind Joker, who is still wearing the same damn underwear. But at least a lot of his hair is back!

Well, I certainly hope both of you aren't the result of another comic's multiversal nonsense that sure seems to be undermining your villain origin story in favor of making you more of a plot device than the character I enjoy BUT I SAID WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT

Anyway, Protagonist Joker passes out, leaving his fate for the next issue, and it's back to the west coast.

Though just when you think Killer Moth flew across the country to help Joker for some reason...

Oh, of course he's here for revenge. That makes more sense.

Moth, you have to know you're gonna regret this.

Hey, speaking of Jason!

That boy sure loves his Austen and Shakespeare and treatises on how violence is a tool exploited by the state.

A strange figure appears!

I'm not sure if more is happening here than a visual signal or what, but Tiffany is actually Barbara.

I'm going to assume it's Steph on the other end of the line just because of her previous appearance, and going by Barbara's last remark, I'm also wondering if this help for Jason is without Bruce's knowledge, but time will tell!

And then it's back to Los Angeles, and... ugh... the answer to why Mr. Waffles didn't come to Joker's rescue..

But Joker said "almost!" Waffles can recover!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO goddammit, I shouldn't have gotten attached. Buuuut maybe there’ll be a gag next time about how he’s barely hanging on??

... Also I wouldn’t hate it if Joker dragged poor Waffles around Weekend-at-Bernie's style.

Sigh. Alright. Onto the backer. Francavilla is back for the art! Hooray!

Joker's an especially sad clown in this one! And he's sick of all the fighting, so he comes up with an invention.

Of course Joker’s not gonna try out being good. Can’t you make out his badge?

The fact that the victim's head merely goes POP. I can't.

And the device works in the air! It works in the sea!

They had to put the "Superman created by" credit at the start of this story just so we could see Clark's head get obliterated.

I really try not to post too many full pages but lol these chyrons

Naturally, after Randolph Joker decides to go all-out with his device...

Holy unintended consequences, headless Batman!

Speaking of losing your head, don’t get too many bright ideas, Gaggy...

Joker decides to go with a different career opportunity.

Gotta love a good bookend! And look, it's Two-Face! Also is that a new Gaggy or a continuity error or what am I even saying it doesn’t matter

I'm not sure if the Joker duplicate in this story is his new life as a for-real clown or collectively all the shitty people he enabled... but this stupid @!#$?* mime is as unfulfilled as always, and isn't that what really matters? ✨

#the man who stopped laughing #joker #my jibber-jabber #spoilers

[moonjxsung]

(🪲)

yeah heh. he could fall off the face of the earth and i’d be more than happy about it honestly. i’ve been going to therapy for a while now so i’ve been able to process and heal from a whole lot. at this point in my life i look back on this relationship as a moment in my life where i learned what a relationship should not look like. i learned about my own value as a person and so much more.

my new sweetie makes me more than happy honestly, being with her is so healing. like not only is it healing in the aspects of love and relationships, but she’s constantly pulling me out of my comfort zone and we’re always doing things that just heal my inner child. her beauty is also unmatched, like deadass every time i look at her i’m just sitting there like damn, i pulled her what the fuck how?? she’s gorgeous, a goddess, an angel i don’t know how else to explain it. i’m ridiculously in love with her, ugh i could sit here and talk about her all day without ever getting tired. actually, her birthday is coming up in january and i’ve literally been working on a little book for her — it’s basically just about how i imagine us meeting in as many alternative universes but this one is my favorite. is that cliché? i’m not sure, but she’s been begging me to show her my writing (i’m extremely shy about it when it comes to people i know in real life) and i thought this might be the best way to introduce her to my works.

anyway, i love you too 🥹 and if you’d like, i can pm you so you know who to reach out to when you need to vent or something like that as well. i’d be more than happy to listen and offer my advice wherever i can. i hope your ex dies too. but i love that you’re so content with yourself, i feel like that’s something a lot of people are afraid of and you’re out here loving yourself enough to not need anyone else and for that, i’m so proud of you. you’re amazing, truly ❣️

STOPPPP THAT BOOK IDEA SOUNDS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE???? You have to show me when it’s done bestie 😭😭🩷🫶 (If you’re comfortable with it ofc!!) I love that you were able to come out of that relationship with a valuable lesson and especially being able to identify what a relationship shouldn’t look like. That’s so important and I’m so so proud of you for your growth and healing (AND I’m so happy you found your new partner when you did 🥹)

You are always welcome to pm me or message anonymously or whatever makes you feel most comfortable, I’ll always be here to listen regardless!! Sending you all my love as always and death vibes to your ex may you always be in good spirits 💓🫶⭐️🌙💕

#🪲 anon #ask

[shadowsong26x]

And here we are with BSG mix 3 of 3 from Ye Olde Days of like 2010-2012 XD Previously I’ve talked about my Season Three mix, Days Upon Our Knees and my Cylon ship mix, Heart of the Machine.

This one is a Baltar/Six mix; generally focusing on Head!Six and Caprica. I did remember a couple of the tracks going in (one because it was an actual Bad Choice--the only one on all three of these mixes that I don’t think should be there at all--and a couple that were good ones. But a lot of it I hadn’t remembered, so it was nice to go through it!

Also, at the end of the Actual List of 14 tracks, there’s a list of songs I’d include now if I were making it (and/or I’m Considering making another one and most if not all of them would be on it.)

All right, let’s get to it!

1/touch (clay aiken)      ah, this one. i can’t say it doesn’t fit them (because it does), but it’s. uh. this was my song for ‘yes these two have a lot of enthusiastic sex’ and i definitely could’ve done better here XD that being said, i do like it for them? the angel references are always a bonus.

2/voodoo child (rogue traders)      i actually think this is one of the better fits on this mix. and yes, like many people in general fandom/online circles at the time, i picked it up from that one doctor who episode But it’s now...way more associated with these two (specifically caprica’s confession/the attack) than that. there was also something of a fanvid in my head (i was never able to make fanvids lol), and i particularly remember that the transition from the first verse into the chorus lined up with that One Specific Shot of her pushing him down as the house explodes around them. so there it is.

3/i’ll be seeing you (linda eder)      i mean. how could i not, lol (this was the first version i had; i was given a whole album of her broadway covers. also i always forget that this song technically comes from a broadway show....and yes, i am aware that it’s also on the s3 mix in a completely different context but Still.)

4/devil inside (inxs)      i think this actually should’ve been before track two, and i’m not sure why it’s here instead? but yeah it’s that reminder of ‘look i love these two they are 10000% my blorbos but they are. not great people’

5/gone with the wind (international victim)      another song that i still like for them, but this one i think is too early in the mix. i mean, we’re not...super chronological here, for this middle part of the mix, but this lines up with gaius in the back half of s3, so having it This Early in the mix feels off to me now.

6/protege-moi (placebo)      so i also use this song for anakin skywalker XD and while i actually don’t think gaius makes the best parallel there (that would be my best beloved athena), the song fits both of them so here we are. it’s definitely not one that developed Such a strong association Elsewhere that it ruined it for anything else, anyway.

7/liken a razor (adam pascal)      this one’s more about head!six, i think. it’s not my favorite on the mix, but i can’t say it doesn’t work/doesn’t belong. it hits that combination of fear and need/worship pretty well.

8/she’s always a woman (billy joel)      the first of two songs that can best be summed up with ‘i love you despite the warning signs.’ XD this one, again, mostly about head!six, but also kind of about caprica in the sense that...while they were together, the first time they were together, she actively planned to murder him and not just everyone he ever loved, but everyone he ever knew or could have known, using him to do it, and yet he can’t help remembering the way she smiled, the way they argued about idk obscure math theorems, spending lazy mornings in bed with her talking about everything and nothing...yep. yep yep yep. ((there will be more on this subject in either this month’s or (more likely) april’s fill for the otp meme))

9/he’s a tramp (lady and the tramp)      i really don’t have much to say about this one except...like...can you really say it shouldn’t be here XD (and yes, this is the second ‘i love you despite the warning signs’ pick.)

10/not me (aida)      a transition song, starting to come back from their estrangement. the more i listen to it, the more i like it here? although again, slightly out of order; it would need to be switched with the next one except...

11/antebellum (vienna teng)      this is the Mistake Track. and not just because this song is now Inextricably linked with satine and bo-katan kryze (but their relationship is not the subject of this essay, lol). but i think even before i got back into star wars/clone wars, i was having second thoughts about this one. the problem is, this song was supposed to be during their separation. when it’s not like they don’t love each other anymore (they never really stopped; witness how caprica continues to respond to head!baltar), but after everything that happened--with new caprica, with d’anna, with...just...everything...does that really matter anymore? and it’s really fucking hard to find a breakup song that hits right for the two of them. most of them are too angry or too bleak, or not angry or bleak for the right versions. antebellum comes close, because it’s a ‘what was and could have been but will never be again’ sort of thing but...it just. doesn’t work. i did not transfer it to my ipod with the rest of the mix, and while i do want a song for that particular part of their story...the mix as a whole does work without it.

12/casanova’s waltz (drew sarich)      and once again, i cheated in terms of my ‘don’t repeat artists’ rule. XD but i do like this song in terms of him choosing to dedicate himself entirely to their relationship, even after everything. ...and being a dramatic little shit about it, naturally XD

13/save the best for last (a capella/vanessa williams)      and this is her taking him back. the version i have is an unsourced a capella version i got on a cd a member of my high school shakespeare troupe gave all of us when he graduated a year before i did, so...who the hell knows, i just have it marked as ‘a capella.’ but yeah, i like it, it fits things here, and there’s that sense of ‘finally we’re on the same page for the first time in our Entire Relationship, we can move forward together now.’

14/i believe (altar boyz)      i love this song. and i love it for them. i wrote a quick fic a while back (that really needed to be two), but it’s about the way the two of them come together, they work together, because love, their love, is about choosing one another and forgiving one another, and, well, believing in one another. it’s just. a good place to leave them, a great song for where they landed. also iirc it’s Not Weird because in context this song is in fact about the band itself/Each Other. not jesus

And now, some additional songs I’d probably put on a playlist for them if I was making one now. If the prior mix skewed more Baltar’s POV outside of the shared-POV songs, I think this one skews more Caprica (or at least I tried). There’s also a lot less Head!Six.

This is not what I would call a Complete mix. There’s some redundancy in terms of moments/aspects of their relationship that are covered, and there are other gaps involved (in particular, I don’t have anything with even Vague Pretentions to being a Sex Song like ‘Touch’ was for the prior list). Also I feel like it’s not super balanced in terms of Tone. But it’s a starting point, anyway. Accordingly, these aren’t numbered and the order, while vaguely chronological, is by no means set in stone.

what am i feeling/galavant      played Completely Straight in a Very Different Way than the original context; this is caprica starting to realize that she’s falling for her own honey trap.

if i loved you/carousel      this is basically the ‘the things men do for love’ scene (or her asking ‘do you love me’ in the miniseries). they’ve each independently realized they love the other (though not that it’s mutual) but Saying That Out Loud Lol No Why Would I Do That (would it necessarily be this cover? no, this was just the first that came up on youtube, lol. but also it’s hard to go wrong with these two singers sooooo maybe XD)

your love is my drug/ke$ha      tell me i’m wrong XD (this might not go on a baltar/six mix Specifically, if only because i had vague plans at one point for doing a six mix of Entirely Ke$ha Songs, one for each notable six, in part because of this Perfect Fit, and in part because applying ‘blow’ to corinne/armistice station!six is just So Perfectly Terrible i couldn’t resist XD)

blonde over blue/billy joel      this probably would’ve made the first list if it weren’t redundant in terms of both the point it’s making (which is covered by...a couple of different ones) and artist, but...yep.

bad romance/lady gaga      again, tell me i’m wrong. this one, the ‘you’re a criminal as long as you’re mine’ line hits particularly hard for these two. also is it just me or are Some of the ways she’s styled in this video kind of...Hitting Some Familiar Visual Notes........

my immortal/evanescence      okay but hear me out XD like, yes, this song is Notoriously Cringe but a) i have no shame at this point in my fandom career and b) these two--when they’re together--have this blend of Melodrama and Painfully Awkward Sincerity and there is no band (or song) which hits that note quite as well as this one. also the lyrics actually fit pretty well if you pay attention to them so shut up, don’t at me, it’s on the list.

silent symphony/drew sarich      this one is about their first reunion, on new caprica, and there’s...a lot of Thoughts i have about that, about how the love is there and it is real, but with Everything Else going on it’s just...there’s a level of Desperation going on, too. and i haven’t been putting full lyric transcriptions in these summaries (because they’re long enough without them lol) but a couple lines stand out: ‘thank god for the night/pushing the complications from sight/hushing our battle drums til the sunlight/tosses a problem from every direction’; ‘you still see a man who knows wrong from his right’; ‘come on and quiet down/and wrap your arms around me/calmly for now’; ‘if i can’t see your eyes/then i can hear you breathe/and we can find a warm, firm platform to plan from’

how to save a life/grey’s anatomy cast      look this is the version i heard in full first and i like it so shut up and bear with me. anyway, this is a companion to the last one, because it’s about the way he pulls away from her, and the way she tries for as long as she can, and their relationship just falls apart during the first half of season 3, even when they’re trying Desperately to make it work. again, not doing the full lyrics, but the end of the first verse in particular jumps out at me: ‘between the lines of fear and blame/you begin to wonder why you came.’

model prisoner/adam pascal     i thought of this when i was writing up ‘liken a razor’ above. i almost didn’t add it, mostly because a) trying to focus more on caprica’s pov; and b) trying to make it more her and less head!six and the second verse is particularly head!six, but...it works. and adds a different Tone Color to the mix, i think, which is Useful/Helpful. i don’t know why i went for liken a razor instead of this one on the first mix, since at least now i think this is a better fit, but here we are.

style/taylor swift      this is actually the song that got me contemplating doing a second mix for these two, way back before i even tracked down the original one and listened to it all the way through again. i was listening to it and it had kind of the right Vibe, and then i got to the second verse. stopped. backtracked to the beginning, and went, ‘well, shit.’ and i kind of like this as a closing track. it kind of fits the same moment/hits the same note as ‘save the best for last,’ except...not exactly. it couldn’t go any earlier than their final reconciliation, though. but it also feels a little...lackluster, almost? for their happy ending. i feel like i want to end on a more optimistic note.

make our garden grow/candide      so this one is a Hard Maybe, and only made this post when i was realizing that ‘style’ doesn’t quite hit the note i want for an Ending song. this song was actually the closer for my hypothetical s4 mix--but it does mooooostly seem to focus on these two so maybe this would be a better place? (no, cunegonde’s verse doesn’t really fit in either case but the first and third do) and even if the lyrics are no more optimistic than style, the Tone of the song is a little better...although now i’m second-guessing it even more, lol. well, i’ll leave it here for y’all to have Opinions about if you so choose XD

and also i’d throw a different cover of ‘i’ll be seeing you’ on there (and possibly title the mix I’ll Be Seeing You (Again) because well i think i’m funny) because Come On.

#bsg #battlestar galactica #fanmix #gaius baltar #caprica-six #head!six

[falcqns]

OF COURSE I DO

OKAY HERE U GO

Tim had asked her what she wanted for dinner, and she had said she didn’t care, and that he could pick. Normally, Tim would be okay with that, but since asking her out, he had been making all the decisions in the relationship, in things that didn’t involve work. He had insisted that she choose, and she refused, and they went back and forth until Lucy completely shut down and stopped talking, which made Tim angry. 

And he knows it shouldn’t have made him angry, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted her to be able to eat what she wanted around him, and he didn’t want her to feel like he was controlling her or the relationship in anyway. He knew that she needed to feel in control, and he wanted her to be able to feel that. 

“Lucy, just tell me what you want to eat, and I will go and get it!” He said, exasperated, and Lucy shook her head aggressively, and turned away from him. “No,” he said, reaching out for her. “C’mon, talk to me, I just wanna help-“ he stopped talking when he saw her flinch away from him. He then watched through the reflection of the tv the fear that had appeared on her face. 

She then whimpered, and then shot up, running to her bedroom, sobs falling from her lips as she went. Tim immediately followed her, instantly feeling shitty about the way he had talked to her. He felt even shittier when he walked into her bedroom and saw her hiding behind the chair in the corner of her room by the window, the soft grey blanket that he bought her her first night in the hospital after Caleb giving away her position, the material peaking out from behind the legs. 

“Goosey,” Tim whispered, crouching down close to the chair, but also keeping his distance so that she didn’t feel trapped. “I’m sorry,” he started. “I shouldn’t have spoken like that. I didn’t mean to scare you. If you don’t feel like you can choose what to eat right now, that’s okay. I can choose for us.”

He paused, and waited to hear if Lucy would respond at all. After a moment, he heard her voice say something, but he couldn’t make out what she said. 

“Can you repeat that, Luce? I didn’t hear you.” He said, and Lucy’s voice could be heard again, this time louder. 

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Sorry I made you mad.” She continued, and Tim sighed, moving slightly closer. 

“Goosey, you didn’t make me mad at all. I just want you to be able to feel in control of your body and your choices, thats why I wanted to know what you wanted to eat. I shouldn’t have pressured you like I did, and I should have listened to your body language.”

“‘m sorry, please don’ hurt me,” she sobbed. “Didn’t mean it, I’ll be good,” 

Tim wiped away the tear that ran down his face after he realized that Lucy was having a flashback. 

“I want you to listen to me, Lucy.” He said calmly. “You’re here with me, in your bedroom, in your apartment in Los Angeles. Caleb is dead, and you’re safe. He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.” He soothed, and after a few more moments of silence, he heard a sniffle, followed by a small “okay,” and then some shuffling. 

Lucy crawled out from behind the arm chair and looked up at Tim, slightly hiding her face behind her blanket. Tim gently held out his arms, letting her know she can come to him for comfort if thats what she needed. She slowly inched her way over to him, and fell into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her, and hugged her as tight to her body as he knew she liked, and stood up slowly, lifting her in the process. 

He let her cry out her emotions as he slowly rocked her back and forth, hoping the motion would help her to regulate her emotions. She eventually calmed down, and she snuggled into his shoulder, sniffling slightly. He rubbed her back as he walked out into the living room, whispering in her ear as he did. 

“Do you want me to choose what we eat? Would that make it easier on you?” He asked, and he nodded, taking a mental note of what to do next time she struggles like that. She needed to feel in control, but sometimes she needed him to make decisions for her, and he was okay with that. 

#natashasera #chenford #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim bradford x lucy chen

[saturnxgojo]

Tease // Kaeya Alberich (pt.1)

✦ Pairing: Kaeya Alberich x afab!reader (no pronouns are used)

✦ Warnings: slight NSFW mention(its a flashback lol), use of petnames (sweetheart, darling), alcohol/slight theme of drinking, kaeya and reader have a sexual past(no relationships, just former fuckbuddies ig), kaeya is a tease, kisses on the neck :p, possibly grammar mistakes bc english isnt my first language, idk thats it (tell me if i missed anything)

✦ A/n: THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH LOVE ON MY FIRST POST MWAH ILY<3

✦ Wordcount: 1550

✦ ATTENTION!!! do not copy. translate, remake my work, i do not give you permission to so dont do it. also GIF not mine, credits to the creator.

“Hey cutie, before you leave, give this to Kaeya will you? It’s urgent.” Lisa asked as you walked out of the library with a stack of books in your arms.

Smiling up at the taller woman you took whatever she needed to get to Kaeya on top of your pile of books. Using your foot to open the door you walked out, Archons it was warm in the headquarters today. Walking over to Captain Kaeya’s office on the first floor you sighed at the note sticking on the door. 

‘To whatever idiot is trying to knock at my door at this hour, get a life. Back tomorrow 8am. 

-Captain Kaeya Alberich’

Sighing again you walked back to the stairs, knowing his office door would probably be locked anyways, so you made your way outside. It may have been around 10 in the evening but it was still blistering warm outside. So on your way to Angels Share–where you thought you were gonna find the Cavalry Captain–you stopped at your house; quickly dropping your books off and changing into something less suffocating.

Finally arriving at Angels Share you opened the door with Lisa’s package in hand; the scent of alcohol hitting your nostrils as you did so. Looking at the bar you saw none other than Master Diluc himself behind it, his red eyes already meeting yours with a friendly smile on his lips–a rare sight–as he waved you over.

“How can I help you today?” He asked, seeing the name on the package in your hands he poured you your regular. 

“Have you seen Kaeya? Lisa asked me to bring him this ‘very urgent’ package.” you asked, tapping your foot on the floor as you looked up to the red haired man who rolled his eyes at you.

“Was upstairs last time I saw him. And stop spending so much time in the library, else your brain will explode one day.” He said as he watched you down your drink. He understood why. You didn’t particularly like the Cavalry Captain, ‘Too full of himself’ you had said to Diluc once, to which he agreed, little did he know that there was more to the two of you that he didn't know of

You nodded, said your thanks and after trying to leave a few Mora for your drink–which Diluc said wasn’t necessary–you walked upstairs to be met with none other than Kaeya Alberich himself in the company of the Traveler and Venti the bard. Taking a deep breath you walked up to the group. “Kaeya?” you called his name, to which he turned his head.

“Yes sweetheart?” he responded, his head slightly angled to the side as a playful smile tugged at his lips.

Taking another deep breath you held out the package to him, hoping he’d take it so you could go back downstairs to talk to your friend.

“Ah from you for me?”

“No, from Lisa to you, she said it’s urgent.” 

Kaeya took it and as you went to walk away you were dragged down onto the bank next to Venti. “Not so soon, my favorite secret keeper. I haven’t seen you in a while.” You smiled when the conversation with Venti and the traveler came alive. God you loved these little idiots.

“So Y/n, how was your trip to Liyue?” Venti asked, genuinely interested but before you could reply another voice spoke.

“Liyue eh? So that’s why I haven’t seen your pretty face around here lately.” You rolled your eyes as you looked at the Captain. His eyes focussed on your chest area, okay maybe you shouldn’t have put something different on when you knew you were gonna be under Kaeya’s gaze.

“Yes, Liyue. But I’m sorry to say it, but I gotta go, I promised my friend I’d talk to him.” You spoke as you stood up, directing it towards Venti and the traveler; no longer wanting to be under Kaeya’s gaze.

“Okay okay, call for me when you need anything.” Venti said as the traveler nodded in agreement. Smiling one last time you finally walked to the stairs, sighing as a weight lifted off your shoulders.

“Not so quick sweetheart,” You spoke too soon but nonetheless kept walking down the stairs until you were grabbed the back of your shirt, pulling you back.

“Hmm, no goodbye for me?” spoke Kaeya.

You sighed, “Let go of me, please.”

He held you there, his hand hovering on the back of your neck as his lips moved towards your ear. “Please what, sweetheart?” 

Memories flooded back into your mind from a couple of months ago, one of his hands holding your arms above your head as the other was gripping onto your hip.

He had been teasing you all day, going from slapping your butt as he walked by- to him moving his hands over everything in a way that wasn’t appropriate in the Knights of Favonius headquarters during boring meetings- to him pressing himself all the way against you as he had to grab a book that was right above you as you were putting returned books back in its original place.

“Oops, sorry for that, sweetheart.” he whispered in your ear as he pulled his body back from yours; his lips dipping down to your neck and placing a sweet kiss on it before disappearing.

At the end of the day as you were sitting in Angels Share you felt a large, slender hand press against the small of your back before hearing him give his order to Charles. You were glad Diluc wasn’t behind the bar tonight, else he would have killed him the second he placed his hand on your back.

And finally, after a few long hours at Angels Share, you couldn’t handle it any longer: whispering a few things in his ear he completely sobered up from the few drinks he had, knowing you needed him just as bad as he needed you.

“Please,” you whined as he finally put his cock in your cunt, but not daring to move.

He chuckled; “Please what, sweetheart?” 

“Please move, please just fuck me.” 

“Please fuck me what? Hmm?”“Please fuck me, sir.” 

And so he did, until you had some trouble walking the next day.

“Please what, sweetheart?” Kaeya asked again, a cocky grin on his lips as he knew where your mind just went.

“Dear Captain Kaeya, will you please let go of me so I can go see my friend who is waiting for me downstairs.” your voice slightly off as your face was bright red.

Kaeya didn’t say anything, he just bent his head down as he placed a few kisses on your neck, grinning when he found that sweet spot right below your ear he knew that made you fall apart. He sucked said spot as you bit back a whimper. His hand that was on the back of your neck made its way to the front of it as the other moved across your waist. 

His movements fell so lightly on your skin that made your knees wobble, daring you to give in. And just as you were about to do just that his touch disappeared and you whimpered at the loss.

“Well then, go to your friend, let my brother see you like this. I dare you.” he said, knowing that you wouldn’t do it in a million years. “And what if I will?” He stayed quiet for a while.

“Then I will make sure I need to get my message to you in a different way- or should I say, a rougher way? The choice is yours sweetheart.” he whispered in your ear. 

Suddenly you came back to your senses, this man held no such power over you. Not anymore. You were supposed to hate him. And you did, and you hated yourself for giving in to him so easily. You held your head up high as you walked down the stairs towards the bar where you sat down on one of the stools, requesting something strong, feeling Kaeya’s eyes on you as you did so.

“Who did you fuck in those five minutes?” Diluc laughed as your hands flew to your hair trying to normalize it to what it had been before that happened. 

Downing whatever drink Diluc gave you, you put a few Mora on the bar and leaving the tavern. Diluc still smiling a bit at your flushed cheeks-until he laid eyes on his brother, who just smiled before leaving the tavern. He had no control over you, that’s what you said a few minutes ago. But now? As he pushed you against the wall of your apartment as his lips reunited with yours once more? As his tongue explored your mouth? As he kissed your neck, pushing your clothes aside to get access to your collarbone and chest? No, he had full control of your every move and sound you made. Pulling moans and whines from your mouth as his hands roamed your body and his mouth performed wonders on your skin. “Kaeya,” you whined as his hand reached to your back, prying the clothes from your body. “I need you.

“Needy today, are we?” he grinned as he looked down at you. “Don’t worry darling, you’ll get what you want so badly eventually.”

To be continued…

#kaeya alberich #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya x reader smut #genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #genshin #genshin impact #venti #venti x reader #diluc #kaeya #lisa minci x reader #to be continued