#and frankly i could sit on these for months while trying to type up something that coheres | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

son-of-a-top-gun · 5 months

Text

Sky's the Limit (part 1)

Hello all, so I rewatched Top Gun Maverick last night and was inspired to finally finish this enemies-to-lovers series I've had in my drafts for literally months featuring everyone's fav sexy asshole Hangman!

Warnings: two idiots as usual, Jake being arrogant, innuendo, author fem!reader

Sky's The Limit

You take off your glasses and slump your face into your hands. You had been staring at the same blank document for the last two hours and still had not typed a single word. You hear the bar door swing open and chatter filling the bar, but you do not look away, instead keeping your face in your palms.

When your Aunt Penny had offered you the chance to stay with her in sunny San Diego over the summer to finish your long-awaited second book, you practically leapt at the chance. Back in New York, your agent, publisher and frankly every literary magazine were rabidly awaiting the next brilliant idea from bestselling debut author ‘Sky Bentley’. What you couldn’t tell them was that ‘Sky’ didn’t have a single clue what that brilliant idea was. So you had leapt at the chance to not be Sky, just for a little bit, while you tried to figure out your next steps.

You had only been in San Diego less than 12 hours before scuttling down to the Hard Deck. You had loved spending your summers here as a teenager, but hadn’t managed to come back since graduating from NYU. You had tried writing in the house this morning, but Amelia had some friends around and you couldn’t think with all their excitable chatter, so here you were. You knew the bar was pretty empty during the day, but the day was rapidly turning to evening and it was becoming less quiet. But you could tune it out. Until.

“You know darlin’, this is a bar not a library right?”

***

When Jake Seresin walked into the Hard Deck that day, he had assumed it was just another quiet evening as usual. He had strolled over to the pool table as usual, confident that he would win, as usual, when something caught his eye. Unusual.

There was a person sat in a booth, who was…working? It was hard to discern much, except they were wearing a baggy Top Gun T-shirt and what looks like short shorts, although they are sitting cross legged so it’s hard to tell. Judging by this and the messy bun, he thought it might be a girl, but he wasn’t not sure. They had a computer out, but their head was slumped in their hands, with glasses strewn to the side. He had never seen anyone try to work in the Hard Deck in the whole time he has been coming here, especially not at 5pm on a Friday.

“Who’s that?” He asked Javy, who is setting up the balls.

“Damned if I know.” Jake looked over in thought. Javy elbows Payback. “Hey, maybe we’ve found a girl in California that Hangman has managed not to sleep with.” Phoenix coughs. “Except you of course, Natasha.”

Jake smirked and started walking over. He loved a new game.

“Well, not for long.” Javy sighed. Nat considered the scene more closely. She had a good feeling about this.

“How much are you willing to bet?”

***

“Sorry?”

When you finally remove your hands, your vision is still blurry. You can tell there’s some sort of guy in front of you, in what looks like Navy uniform. Fantastic. It was hard to tell as you looked around for your glasses, but you had dealt with enough of these kinds of guys at family parties. Just another meathead who would say the same old shit as they always did.

“Pardon my manners, sweetheart but you seem to be lost. The library is -” Before he can finish, you cut him off.

“Oh yes, actually, I think I am lost. I thought I was at the Hard Deck, but from the looks of you this is where Chippendales go to die? I hope you don’t mind but I’m not interested in whatever you’re selling, thanks.”

You hear him laugh a little.

“I’m pretty sure we’re the same age.”

You look around for your glasses.

“Sure, whatever the Viagra guys keep telling you, buddy.” You can see him fold his arms out of the corner of your eye, but you ignore him, continuing to search for your glasses. Silence ensues for what seems like forever.

“I think you’re looking for these, Grandma.” He hands you your glasses, and you snatch them out of his hands.

“Thanks.” You put them on. You see him properly now. He’s tanned, blond and incredibly handsome, like he’s walked straight out of a Hollister ad. He leans back, arms still folding and biceps definitely flexing and your heart skips a little. Sure, it had been a while since you had gotten some, but then he smirks and it’s clear that he’s the sort of handsome asshole who knows how good-looking he is. You roll your eyes and straighten up, folding your laptop.

“I’ve gotta go. It was a real displeasure meeting you,” You stand up, but before you can turn around, you hear a familiar voice.

“Ladybug! It’s you!”

“Bradley?” At this point Bradley Bradshaw swans into the bar, wearing one of his usual god awful Hawaiian shirts and plants a kiss on the top of your head.

“Ladybug?” Navy Ken raises an eyebrow. Bradley turns and rolls his eyes.

“Oh, I should have known you’d be sniffing around here already.” Bradley turns back to you. “You’ve had the pleasure of meeting Bagman, I see?”

“Bagman?” You mimic Bagman’s expression, complete with raised eyebrow.

“It’s Hangman. Although most people know me as Lieutenant Jake Seresin.” Jake winks at you. “At your service.” You scoff.

“If I’m at your service, I think I’ll rather die.”

At this point Bradley lets rip with a belly laugh, placing a hand on a bare stretch of your arm. You swear you see Hangman’s jaw tense a little.

“How do you two know each other again?”

“Me and Ladybug grew up together.”

“We’re old family friends. Bradley used to babysit me and my sister when we were little.”

“And look at you all grown up now, some bigshot fancy auth-” You shoot him a glare. Bradley is one of the few people in the world you’ve trusted with your secret, and you explicitly told him not to tell anyone. You just wanted a summer to be normal, with no pressure.

“Fancy what?” Jake looks you up and down.

“Academic. She’s a pHD student.” Bradley says immediately. Damn, that was quick, you think to yourself. You look up at him. Was Bradley always this good at lying?

“Yeah. English lit. Here working on my thesis.You wouldn’t be interested.” You make sure to put extra venom in the ‘you’.

Bagman’s furrowed brow offers a little fake smile, but before he can retort, Bradley leads you over to the other aviators. While you are a little tense going into the group of navy guys, most of them are immediately friendly. You struggle to remember everyone’s real names and call signs, but they don’t seem to mind. In particular, the girl, who is called Natasha, links arms and drags you off to a corner.

“Thank god you’re here. It will be nice to have another woman in the midst.”

“Honestly, it would be nice to just have someone who isn’t a pilot”. Her lanky WSO pipes up. “I heard you were doing a English lit degree.”

“Oh, er, yeah. It’s Bob right?” I mean it was sort of true. Except you had completed said degree about five years ago, but it certainly helped as Bob started enthusiastically talking about books. He was cute, and you were trying to reply, but you found it hard to focus when you could feel a certain pair of green eyes boring into you from the other side of the pool table. You deliberately refused to look in Hangman’s direction the rest of the night, until you couldn’t stand it any longer.

You stride over and gently put your hand on the guy who you think is called Fanboy.

“Do you mind if I take this?” You pick up the cue. He nods and you turn back to Hangman. “Right, are you going to play me or what?”

He tilts his head in disbelief. “Darlin’ are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Well, darlin’ If it means you stop staring at me like a wounded puppy all night, I’ll do whatever it takes.”

The rest of the squad have all dropped their conversations to turn and stare at the two of you.

“Suit yourself.” He sets up the balls to break, before leaning over to whisper in your ear. “Just remember if it gets too much, you can always beg me to stop, Ladybug.”

You try not to react. After all, it’s better he thinks like this. Having watched him play the last few games, he was clearly a very good player, but you knew you have to play the player, not the game. As you break, the game begins fairly normally. He manages to pot a few in quick succession, looking visibly relaxed with a gloating smile over his beer. You deliberately shuffle, and readjust until you can tell he’s stopped looking at you. This is the time you make your move, potting several balls to take a significant lead. Jake turns back suddenly, his jaw slackening a moment before regaining composure. You can hear Bradley stifle a snigger. Being dragged around from base to base with few kids your age to play with meant that Bradley had grown up watching you whoop the ass of everyone you played at pool since the age of eight.

“Something funny, Rooster?” Jake’s head swivels around.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

Jake starts playing more ferociously, almost clawing it back until you’re both got two balls left. You walk past.

“If it gets too much, you can always beg me to stop.” You look him up and down, before you whisper in his ear. “I like a man on his knees.” Jake’s cheek flushes and with that you pot the final two, claiming victory. You yawn. “I think I need to head home, but it was lovely to meet you all. Well almost all of you.” You blow a kiss to Jake, before waving goodbye and swiftly leaving after giving Bradley a hug. The rest of the group stand in stunned silence.

Jake raises one hand. “Don’t say anything.”

****

Jake lies on his bed. He couldn’t sleep. This was unusual. Well, not the not sleeping part. He always struggled to get asleep. At least, when he was sleeping alone. That’s why he made an effort not to. But tonight was different.

For one, it was rare for him to be alone in bed on a Friday night. But he had been so distracted, he hadn’t even managed to follow up with the pretty blonde who had asked for his number at the bar.

He couldn’t stop thinking about your stupid face.You and your stupid face and stupid glasses and stupid lips and the stupid way you said on your knees-

He got up and paced around the room.

This would simply not do.

Not only were you completely infuriating, but you beat the great Jake Seresin at pool. Bradley said you were here for the whole summer. So Jake had some time to get his own back. But how? He had noticed something odd about the way you looked at Bradley when he mentioned your pHD. Something was up, Jake could just tell, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. But not before he had a cold shower first.

part two

#jake seresin x y/n #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #top gun hangman #hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #hangman top gun #jake hangman seresin x reader

160 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

Note

AITA for being semi-close to someone a lot younger than me?

This is something I've been worried about for a while, but it's become more prominent lately after me seeing several people say it's inherently creepy for an adult (or even just way older person) to be interacting with a child. And I really don't want to be like that, I don't want to hurt a kid ever, especially since I know what it's like to be groomed myself.

So I (18F) have known this kid (13) for about 3 years now. They reached out to me online because of similar interests- mainly in games and in YouTube channels, and we bonded a lot over that. They didn't have their age in their bio so I didn't immediately know their age, but I did find out a few months in.

Over the course of when we've known each other I've been as careful as I can to be age appropriate. I never bring up anything sexual for obvious reasons (the only time it ever came up was them asking what a sexual term meant, which made me very uncomfortable and I tried to change the subject... to which they started repeatedly inappropriately using the word. They ended up looking up the definition and where horrified. Even that conversation makes me feel wrong).

I also make sure to not put any of my personal issues on them. I couldn't always hide when I was upset- both because for the first year of us knowing each other I had unmedicated ADHD that made my mood swing a lot, and for the past 2 1/2 years or so I've been in a very toxic relationship that I still don't know how to get out of and quite frankly, am scared to get out of because I don't know how they'll react if I do actually leave them. Do to this, there's been times they could tell something was off and would ask me what's wrong. I avoided telling them as much as possible, just giving them something vague and reminding them that it's not their responsibility to help me, because they would always try to help cheer me up, and even that didn't feel right because they're a kid. They should be focusing on themself, not me. The worst of this though, is there was a time I was struggling heavilly with suicidal thoughts. I was planning to attempt, and sent out a vague "goodbye" type message, trying not to make it too obvious what was happening. They caught on though. They weren't the one who helped me calm down from that but I still know how awful it is to be sitting there, scared you're going to loose someone important to you. Especially for a kid. I've apologized for that happening many times, and it hasn't repeated, but every time they just go "It's fine, you were a struggling kid too back then" as if that makes that okay. It doesn't feel right.

Throughout the 3 years we've known each other, I've also tried to help out where I can with several issues they've had. Which was pretty much just me giving advice for how to handle difficult situations where I felt I could, and offering comfort and reassurance where I couldn't. Among other things, I helped them recognize several instances where other people they met online where intentionally trying to groom them. I explained to them that it wasn't normal for someone my age to want to be with them/find them attractive, because there where several instances of them telling me of 15/16 year olds getting with them. That no responsible person my age would be doing that to them, and that it wasn't okay for them to do that.

Because of the help I've given them, I notice they look up to me quite a lot. They have told me they see me as a role model and "the best person they know" (I can guarantee I'm not, and have tried to get them to not see me that highly because that seems unhealthy). They even see me as a sort of parental figure, including calling me parental-like names. That by itself I don't mind too much, I know they had a terrible home-life and didn't feel they could actually look up to their real life parents. So if I am giving them something I think every child deserves to have (a parental role model they can look up to), I'm glad. I just worry I'm not as good a role model for that as they think I am, and that I'm a creep, just like the ones I have gotten away from them in the past. I do care about them a lot, and do see them in that sort of familial way, and I want to protect them and help them have a better life, because I know they have struggled a lot and if I am able to help them, I want to. But I'm worried I'm causing the same harm that has been caused to me, and that others have tried to/have caused to them in the past without even realizing what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to be like those creepy assholes.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

120 notes · View notes

glystenangel · 1 year

Text

the dark of night & the light of day✨

ServiceDom&General!Gojo x PillowPrincess&Afab!Reader (Historical AU)

Series Summary: getou isn't the caring type, but he can be for you

Chapters: 1/3

Chapter Summary: getou is offered a gift by one of his soliders, and he takes it

Status: Completed

Tags/Warnings: 18+ MDNI, getou may be a bit ooc but idrc, getou telling you what to do all the time, GETOUS POV (for the fellow bis i luv u), not too lemony this chapter but next ones are s o u r, d/s, stockholm syndrome, master/servant kink, possessiveness & jealousy, getou being down bad w/o realizing or having any reason to be lmao

~1.4k

thanks for reading and enjoy<3

Ch. 1 - Hate & Sleeplessness

_________________

Getou despised you, or at least, he tried very hard to.

It was an exhaustive effort because as much as he truly wanted to, you needed him. So he couldn’t.

You had been scooped up by one of his henchmen from a small village they had been instructed to exterminate, and he had presented you to the unamused general as a presumed gift.

At first glance, he thought you were, for a lack of a better description, startlingly pretty. Your eyes were glossy with fear and uncertainty, cheeks stained with streaks of saline. The hue of your eyes, though diluted with the redness that only comes from crying, contained an intensity he had never seen before. Evidence of your sorrow did little to hide your masterfully crafted facial features and the enticing shape of your body underneath your dress. With such unique beauty, Getou could comprehend the reasoning behind your capture regardless of the fact that he didn’t condone it. This supposed present was completely unnecessary as a token of loyalty. Clearly the man was hoping to have you for himself after Getou would surely reject you. There was a rumor circulating amongst his forces that Getou was numb to emotions like lust or love, due to his lack of company and insistence upon solitude.

Frankly, he didn’t care what would happen to you, but he decided to accept the gift as a punitive measure for the soldier to simply follow his orders as told. That was all, nothing more. It had nothing to do with the terrified and imploring look on your face, or the way your bottom lip wobbled with obvious terror.

Not knowing what to do with you, Getou settled on assigning you as his personal maid.

In spite of your best efforts, every time you do something, you’re so inconceivably useless that he is forced to help you. When you burn your hand while cooking him lunch, he tsks and nudges you aside to save whatever concoction you started. When he sees you folding his clothes in the less than precise shapes he likes, he makes you sit down and does it himself as he irritably explains to you how it’s done.

As you live alongside the powerful commander, he becomes more and more annoyed by your inability to learn or successfully do any tasks given to you. The only thing you seem to have picked up is how to address him, by name or his title as your master.

He assumes you were some kind of nobility, based on the softness of your hands and lack of tolerance for any violence you witness his troops carrying out for missions or training.

So, he does his best to keep you out of the way. You would be of no use to him crying and fretting over military matters.

Still, he has half a mind to kill you whenever your seemingly innate uselessness reveals itself. But every time you applaud and make impressed comments of approval on how easily he does things, the murderous rage simmers down to a roll of his eyes and a reluctant hand off of the remaining chores. That is, if he has enough confidence that you can perform them yourself after watching him.

Of course, that paper thin confidence dissipates as soon as you begin to take over the task and he has to take it back.

Over the next few months, he hovers over you as you attempt to work, tapping on your wrist from behind as if he were trying to puppeteer your body into fulfilling the proper steps to duties like cleaning dishes or shaving his sideburns. The need to do everything for you becomes natural, and he can’t help but notice that your presence at his side isn’t as annoying as he thought it would be.

Once you start picking up on your responsibilities, all Getou has to do is make minute, disapproving shakes of his head to correct you. Sometimes, he can even leave you to your own devices.

Eventually when you familiarize yourself with the entire headquarters and the assistance he needs while commanding an army, he’s almost proud of you.

Day after day, he watches you take care of small tasks and errands. It becomes a regular sight.

Today when he finds you hanging laundry, your back is to him as you clip cloth to the taut curves of rope stretched across the eastern yard of his headquarters. Sheets of pristine, white cotton from the soldiers’ quarters surround you, and farther back he can see spotless uniforms being hung on rope closer to the walls enclosing his entire operation.

You’re humming to yourself, some old children’s song with a fleeting melody that he vaguely recognizes, stepping among the tall woven baskets at your feet and bundling more of their contents in your arms.

Getou crosses his arms over his wide chest, bracing a shoulder on one of the columns opening up the hall to the grassy, laundry covered field dotted with those small white flowers he never bothered to learn the names of because he sees them everywhere.

It’s a peaceful scene. Something he endures to savor because it might be the last one he gets.

Most days he regarded his position with little reverence, it was a job with high praise but little reward. Merely acting under the petty wishes of feudal lords more powerful than he could ever dream of being. Such was the life of a warrior.

It rarely saddens him anymore.

Aside from the day you were brought, he realizes you never once seemed upset by your circumstances. He’s unsure if that should make him grateful or unbearably sad.

That thought appears to announce his presence, as you turn to find his eyes on you. The eye contact makes you pause, and your hands cascade off of the laundry you were hanging. The wind blows at the fabric behind you, making it billow around your figure and having your own clothes be tousled by the wind. It’s gentle, moving over your hair and eyelashes like a child cautiously blowing on a dandelion. Astonishment never crosses your face, and he feels…something. Something? A stirring within him. How to define it beyond that escapes him at this particular moment.

No words are exchanged between you, only continued observation of each other.

He feels the breeze caress his face, and he wonders if it kisses him the same way it did you.

You then smile at him, a genuine, gracious smile, and for once he returns it.

Perhaps hatred was too harsh for someone like you.

_________________

Your laugh takes him off guard the first time he hears it. It’s lovely and warm, but he realizes you’re not alone when he also hears one of his lower ranking officers, Mahito. Mahito’s drawling voice is paired with your happy laughter, and he can almost see the stitched man’s simper and blue gray hair leaning close to you.

“I made you laugh!” Mahito proudly croons, and Getou takes pause in the section of hallway next to the kitchen door.

“You’re too funny, Mahito.” Traces of amusement remain in your voice, and he hears the audible sound of you playfully slapping Mahito’s arm.

The easy compliment you give Mahito boils Getou’s blood.

He doesn’t deserve it. It doesn’t make any sense.

Something had to be wrong with him. He owns every part of you, yet he hates that Mahito had gotten your smile and laugh, however brief.

Those are his. You, are his. He was your master after all. Your laughs, your tears, your every effort and breath were his.

The disrespect has him reeling, and he lets out an annoyed click of his tongue before sweeping his robes closer to his side and pacing back to his room. He convinces himself he does not need to hear anymore, and that it was illogical to expend any further headspace on it.

_________________

For the next few days, Getou can’t sleep.

He can hear your laugh whenever he tosses and turns in his bed.

It’s maddening. What had Mahito said to make you that amused?

He curses, sitting up in his futon and angrily tossing his pillow at the wall until it sinks and slumps in half against the floor.

For a moment he cups his chin, one of his fingers pressing into the divet between his lips as he tries to detangle each end of his thoughts from the other.

It’s brutally impossible.

“Just ask her.” He mumbles to himself.

For a moment he sits with the disgruntled suggestion, and then he stands to his feet. Inner conflict tenses his chest, but it doesn’t matter.

He has to know.

_________________

End Notes:

i have no excuse for what is coming but :)))))))))

Next Chapter →

141 notes · View notes

cherryrogers · 1 year

Note

What about for cmb the group taking a weekend trip to the beach or something? Bucky sees her in her swimsuit and he’s shirtless and she’s 👀👀👀 and they’re very cute.

this ask is literally from over a year ago but here we are. cmb drabble time let’s go!!! (i wrote this literally months ago and forgot to post it but we ball 🫡)

Truthfully, you would’ve never guessed that the gang found enjoyment in a trip to the beach during summer. If the fact they were constantly in leather jackets and complaining when the temperature raised even slightly above 80 degrees told you anything, it’s that they’d much prefer to spend a warm summer’s day under the shade in the clubhouse garden, sipping on cold beers and actively trying not to catch any rays.

But one morning, you woke up in Bucky’s bed, as usual, except you also had Peggy standing over you like a sleep paralysis demon (a pretty one, obviously), and you forced yourself to squint open your eyes.

“Up and at ‘em, _____, come on!” She chirped, tossing a black bikini at your face. “We’re going to the beach.”

Groaning, you reached an arm out of the duvet, picking up the top garment and holding it up to inspect. “This could literally fit a build-a-bear.”

“Well it’s your size, and I told you you might need a swimsuit for the summer. Of course, I knew you wouldn’t bother buying one, so I got you one. You’re welcome,” Peggy said. She had a duffel bag over her shoulder, likely filled with enough sun cream to protect a whole group of bikers from the Friday heatwave. “Plus, I thought Bucky would appreciate it.”

You scoffed, flinging the top at your friend. “You’re so weird. Please focus on what your own boyfriend would appreciate, thanks.”

Peggy just chuckled, giving you a wink. “You’ll thank me later.”

***

After setting down your beach towel and quickly rubbing some sun cream down your arms and legs, you plonked down on the towel and tugged off your tank top, about to apply some more to the rest of your skin.

The beach wasn’t so busy, since people were at work and kids were in school, so the gang set themselves up on a nice spot in the middle of long expanse of sand. Natasha was quick to put up a parasol and make sure she was completely in the shade. Sam and Clint had put down their towels and already started on the snacks that were meant to last them a good few hours. Steve was rubbing sun cream on Peggy’s shoulders while she leaned over a book, thick black sunglasses sitting on the bridge of her nose.

Next to you, Bucky already had his shirt off, laying idly under the sun with his eyes shut. Well, you thought they were shut, until your heard a wolf whistle from behind you.

You turned your head, and sure enough, Bucky was eyeing you. You snorted. “You literally see me naked, like, every day.”

“So? I can appreciate your divine beauty, with or without clothes.”

“Divine beauty. Thanks, Shakespeare, ” You snorted, passing him the bottle of sun cream. “Do my back?”

The biker took the bottle, popping it open and squeezing a fair amount into his hand. He sat up behind you, starting to rub the cream between your shoulder blades. Then down your spine, and lastly just above the waistband of your shorts. He finished with a pinch to your waist, to which you reacted by dodging the kiss he tried to plant on your neck after.

***

To iterate, you’re not the jealous type. Being jealous implies some insecurity on the jealous person’s part, and you weren’t insecure when it came to Bucky, because you knew you had him wrapped around your finger.

But there’s a group of girls a few feet away, lounging under a parasol and giggling while looking directly at him, and frankly, you wanted to climb on top of him and show them who he belonged to.

He’s blissfully unaware, almost asleep under the sun. And it’s obvious why he has some ogling eyes; his tattoos are all on show, and the sun is casting light on his large arms and toned abdomen.

It’s Natasha who says what you’re thinking: “Looks like you have some admirers, Barnes.”

“And a guard dog.” Clint adds with a snort, looking directly at you.

You grab an empty plastic cup and chuck it at Clint’s head. “Call me a dog again, Barton. It’ll be a beer bottle next time.”

“The fuck are you guys talking about?” Bucky asks, still lying down with his eyes shut. The sun seems to make him tired; it’s rather endearing.

“Gaggle of giggling girls at three o’clock.” Peggy grins, pointing to the right of Bucky. He follows the woman’s hand, while you just want the ground to swallow you up. If Bucky even suspects you’re having a jealous moment, he won’t let you hear the end of it.

The girls don’t make an effort to be subtle, even when Bucky catches them looking. He turns his head to look at you, and the smirk that grows on his lips is telling enough of what he’s thinking.

“I don’t wanna hear it, Bucky.”

“You know, I really never thought I’d see the day—”

“No—”

“You’re jealous aren’t you, sweets?”

“I’m not jealous.” You insist, but Bucky only stares at you patiently, and you can’t help but crack under his gaze. You huff.

“They’re ogling you, Bucky. as if… as if you’re a piece of meat! It’s inappropriate.”

Bucky scoffs, though he sits up and moves to snake an arm around your waist, making goosebumps appear on your skin even under the hot sun.

“Then they can ogle at this instead.” He says quietly, before pulling you close and landing his lips on yours, and who are you to even think about pushing him away?

Your hand instinctively lifts to his jaw, caressing it with your thumb while he digs his fingers into the skin above the waist and of your shorts. You’ve never been one for PDA, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and making sure everyone on the beach knows that Bucky is all yours (for now, anyway) certainly calls for desperate measures.

“Jesus. There’s kids on this beach, you know.” You hear Natasha tease behind you, and you chuckle as you pull back, lips swollen and heart beating a bit faster than it was only seconds ago.

#sorry this is so short #i miss these idiots tho #also excuse the change in tense at the end i just cba to change it #bucky barnes x reader #cmbfanfic

90 notes · View notes

a-cacophony-of-silent-words · 6 months

Text

Still Breathing Part One: Into The Tiger's Den

Chapter 3: The Sun It Does Not Cause Us To Grow

Bruce wakes up every thirty minutes just to reassure himself that reality doesn’t match his nightmares. The horrible feeling of arriving too late. Watching the warehouse going up in a fiery blast. The fear that he’s failed the last person he ever should have. It all lingers like a bad taste even as the dreams fade. Then he opens his eyes and Jason’s there. Sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed. Expected to wake up any day now and make a full recovery.

Dismissing the last of his lingering fears Bruce reaches out and gently holds Jason’s hand in his. As much as he wants Jason to wake up soon, he hopes that he has enough time to prepare. There’s a long road of recovery ahead for Jason when he wakes up and Bruce isn’t exactly chomping at the bit to give him Sheila’s message either. It’ll be hard to come to terms with that. He might feel like he’s been abandoned and Bruce needs time to find a way to make it clear that he’ll always be there for Jason.

For now he can only take the moment to marvel at how much Jason’s grown since he arrived at the manor. There was a time when Jason’s entire hand was only half the size it is now. Back then Jason was barely more than a few muscles on a skeletal frame, surviving on scraps and sass alone. Now his hand’s nearly as big as Bruce’s own. He’s grown so much in only two years. Two years that Bruce would never trade for the entire world.

Smiling slightly to himself and reassured that Jason’s really there – really alive – Bruce closes his eyes and leans back, resting his head against the back of his chair. Until, that is, he hears a familiar sound approaching the room from down the hall.

“Knock knock.” Barbara’s voice is soft as she pushes her wheelchair into the room.

Bruce blinks the sleep from his eyes and sits up a little straighter. “Barbara.”

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” She maneuvers her chair up next to Jason’s bed.

“You didn’t.”

She smiles, oddly amused by his response. “Of course. I, um, I told them I was family. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Never.” She practically is family after all. “I… How did you hear about this?”

“Alfred called me.” Her eyes focus on Jason’s face for a long time before she finally looks up at Bruce, her eyes wet with the tears she’s holding back. “He’s going to be okay, right?”

Bruce nods. “Yes.”

“That’s… that’s good.” She tries out a smile, but it’s weak and slips away so quickly. “God, I’m sorry, I’m such a wreck. I just… Again? He did it again.”

He can’t really say anything to that. Looking down at the floor trying to contain all the rage he feels for the Joker. If he could bring himself to leave Jason’s side right now… he doesn’t know what he’d do. “Has there been any news of him?”

“Clark caught him coming back into the country in Metropolis… but he got away.” Her voice is shaking. “God, the past few months have really been hell...”

Bruce sighs, deeply, exhaustion seeping into his very bones. “It's... frankly hard to believe it's only been months.”

“Tell me about it.” She laughs, bitterly. They sit in silence for a while longer. Then, “I’ll call someone to look after the city until you’re ready to go back on patrol or Dick gets back.”

“I…” Bruce hesitates a moment. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

She looks over at him, tired, grateful, sad, afraid, something else entirely, all of them at once. “It’s the least I can do.”

In Dick Grayson’s lauded experience off-planet missions can go only one of two ways; They can be fun, interesting trips to distant parts of the galaxy or they can be complete nightmares. There’s really no in between although occasionally a type one does inexplicably turn into a type two with no warning. The latest one was of the, regrettably far more common lately, type two variety. Everything feels like it just keeps getting more and more fucked up. Maybe that’s just a product of not having Bruce and Alfred as buffers anymore, but… it’s not like he was ever a sheltered kid.

Whether it’s always been that way or not, Dick is too tired to deal with any more of it right now. As he limps into his apartment with Kori almost literally hovering behind him, all Dick wants to do is take as many painkillers as is technically safe and collapse into his bed for the rest of the week. Unfortunately as soon as he’s in the door he hears the familiar sound of silicone rumbling against wood and stops in his tracks. For a long moment he just stares at his cellphone sitting where he’d left it on the coffee table however the fuck long ago. The call is from the manor. Not Alfred’s cellphone. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s Bruce, but the risk is there.

“Are you not going to answer it?” Kori asks, softly, with some trepidation.

Dick takes a deep breath and adjusts his crutch. “I’ll handle it later. After I change. Bruce can wait until then.”

“Are you sure?” She glances back uncertainly as she moves to support him when he goes to take a step. “What if it’s important?”

“If it were important he’d be here in person,” Dick grumbles and, yeah, maybe it’s the bitterness talking, but, hell, after what he’s been through – after what Bruce has put him through – over the past couple of years, he’s earned the right to be a little bitter.

So he hobbles to the bedroom and changes his damned clothes, then returns to the living room. He grabs the cellphone off the coffee table and makes his way over to the fridge, pulling a bottle of water out before he plays his messages. After the announcement that he has one new message, Alfred’s voice begins speaking and Dick feels like a grade A heel before he gets passed the first word. “Master Dick, there’s… Please, call as soon as you can, there’s been a most unfortunate incident.”

Dick drops the water bottle without even thinking, getting out of the voice message menu as fast as he can and opening up his contacts. He finds Alfred’s number as quickly as possible and hits call. His heart is practically in his throat as he waits for Alfred to pick up. He hardly even feels Kori’s hands on his shoulders.

Possibilities race through his mind at light speed. If Bruce were hurt or… or worse, surely Clark or Diana would’ve met him at the tower to tell him. Someone else then. Barbara or… or Jason. Before he can even start to pick through that series of fresh hells, the line clicks and Alfred greets him, “Master Richard.”

God, he sounds so tired. “You said something happened, is everyone okay?”

“I’m afraid not, sir, Master Jason…” Alfred’s voice falters and he pauses. Dick holds his breath, he feels fear rising like ice and fire running through his chest. “Master Jason has been seriously injured and hospitalized.”

Dick lets his breath go, shaky, stuttering. Relief that Jason’s still alive only serving to loosen the tension in his gut a little. “Is… is he going to be okay? God, Alfie, how did this happen?”

“He is expected to pull through alright, however at the moment we are still waiting for him to wake up.” Alfred responds, gently. “He ran afoul of the Joker while abroad.”

Stunned, Dick doesn’t know what to say first, until the words hiss from his throat, unbidden, “Joker again?”

“Yes, sir.” Alfred says, quietly. “It was quite bad from what I understand.”

Dick shakes his head, Alfred’s right, Joker’s not the important part here. “I’m… I’ll come home. Right now.”

“Shall I come get you?”

Dick looks at Kori. She nods without him even needing to ask. “No, I’ll be there in an hour, Kori’s dropping me off.”

“Very well, I will see you then.”

“Yeah,” Dick says and hangs up after Alfred.

Kori hugs his shoulders. “It will be alright.”

Dick really wants to believe that.

The flight to the manor goes by quickly and it’s less than an hour before she deposits him on Wayne Manor’s doorstep. She’s disappointed that she can’t join him to visit Jason, but understanding as well. Whether or not the press has gotten wind of this situation already, Dick Grayson showing up to a Gotham hospital with Starfire would be all over the news in seconds. So she gives him a parting kiss and makes him promise to call her when he knows more. Then she flies away as Alfred opens the front door.

“My word, it would seem you’ve been injured yourself, sir.” Alfred says, indicating Dick’s cast and crutch.

Dick adjusts his weight on the crutch. “This is nothing, but I do need a lift to the hospital.”

“Of course, sir.”

Alfred leads the way to the garage and, with some difficulty, Dick situates himself in the passenger seat of Bruce’s most inconspicuous car, before asking, “How’s… How’s Bruce taking it?”

“Hard, I’m afraid.” Alfred fixes the mirror as he continues, “It took both myself and Mr Kent to convince him not to set out to kill the Joker when we first heard he was returning to the country.”

Dick… can’t blame Bruce. It’s a little frightening thinking of Bruce so angry that he’d throw away his code, but Dick kinda feels like he’d like to get his hands on Joker himself. “What happened with Joker?”

Looking at Dick out of the corner of his eye, Alfred says, “Missing. Superman stopped him from unleashing a cloud of his poison at an assembly of the United Nations and destroyed his helicopter before he could make his escape, but Joker fell into the ocean. We haven’t found a body.”

Quietly Dick just hisses, “Fuck.”

Alfred doesn’t say anything to that.

“Where is Bruce now?” He’s a little concerned he might hear that Bruce is down in the cave hunting for the Joker. He can be stupidly obsessive like that.

“At the hospital with Master Jason.” Alfred answers to Dick’s relief. “He hasn’t left the boy’s side for more than a moment since they arrived.”

Good. That’s the way it should be. Even if it makes Dick’s chest sting with jealousy. “Can you… tell me more about what happened?”

Alfred is quiet a moment before nodding. “I shall do my best, sir, though I’m afraid my knowledge is somewhat lacking as I was not present at the time.”

“That’s fine.” Dick leans back in his seat watching the scenery pass by out the window. “Whatever you know is fine.”

“Well… to begin at the beginning as it were--” Alfred explains the entire incident. From Bruce attempting to get Jason to step back from being Robin for a while – as if that would work – to Jason discovering evidence that Catherine Todd wasn’t his birth-mother to Jason meeting Sheila Haywood to the Joker’s plot and finally Jason and Sheila being rescued from the warehouse before it exploded by a mysterious young man. “--And that, young sir, is all I know.”

“God…” Dick pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before letting his head fall back against the headrest so he can stare up at the fuzzy, gray ceiling of the car. “None of us can catch a damned break, can we?”

“It would seem not, sir,” Alfred says, sounding about as tired as Dick feels. The car slows down and turns right. “Here we are.”

As the car comes to a full stop, Dick lifts his head and grabs his crutch. “What room are they in?”

“If you don’t mind, sir, I will simply accompany you.” Alfred removes his seat belt and opens his door. “It will give me a chance to see the boy for myself again.”

Good, old Alfred. He deserves a more peaceful life than the one he’s got as surrogate grandfather to a pair of a reckless vigilantes, but somehow it seems like he wouldn’t trade this family any more than they’d trade him. Dick smiles softly. “Yeah, alright.”

They head up to the top floor in the elevator and then down the hall to stop in front of an open door to a room where Jason is lying on a hospital bed. Sleeping. Peaceful. At Alfred’s silent urging Dick limps into the room, feeling a little trapped when Alfred closes the door behind them. He looks down at Jason and… he doesn’t really know what to think. What to feel.

Dick has always… always struggled with having any kind of real affection for Jason. They’ve never been on what anyone might call ‘good’ terms. He’d like to blame it all on Brother Blood. To say it wasn’t really him, all that anger and jealousy. He knows better. He’s never really thought of Jason as a little brother, just as a usurper, a replacement. Always felt like Bruce adopted Jason just to twist the knife in the already wounded relationship between him and Dick. Even though he knows that’s not why. It might have been the reason Bruce gave Jason the Robin role, but it was never why Bruce adopted him. And even if it were, it’s not like that’s Jason’s fault. Jason is… He’s just a kid.

He’s just a kid that’s lying there covered in bandages and casts after being almost killed by the Joker. More than anything Dick wishes he could just erase every nasty thing he ever said to the kid and start over from the very beginning. So that right now he could feel like he’d have the right to tell Jason he looks like shit when he wakes up and know that they could laugh about it. As it stands he knows that it’d just sound like another unfair criticism in a long long line of them.

Dick shakes his head and blinks away the tears that are blurring his vision. Trying anything just to get out of his own head and his own personal failings, Dick looks over at the person occupying the chair at Jason’s bedside.

Bruce is awake. Despite his restful posture and closed eyes, anyone who knows him well can tell easily. He knows exactly who’s in the room right now and probably knew they were coming before they even got out of the car. That’s just who Bruce is. Dick knows Bruce well enough to be sure of all of that. He also knows that he’ll have to be the one to speak first. Bruce is capable of many things, but extending verbal olive branches is not one of them. Not because he’s holding a grudge. More because he just doesn’t know how. So Dick has to do it for him, which is hard, because Dick is holding a grudge. Even if he’s trying to let it go. It’s hard to swallow the bitterness and anger, but Dick does it. Not really for Bruce. For himself. Maybe someday they’ll actually sit down and find out where they really stand, for now… for now it’s just gotta be one step at a time. For now, Dick takes a deep breath and just says, “Hey.”

Slowly, Bruce opens his eyes and tilts his head down to look at Dick. His expression remains pretty neutral, though Dick kinda hopes he sees a hint of happiness there. Over all he just looks tired. “Dick… You’re injured?”

“Just a sprain, it’ll heal fine.” Dick shrugs off Bruce’s concern, there’s a part of him that finds some joy in the fact that Bruce still worries about him, but that’s not why he’s here. “More importantly--”

Before he can continue, Bruce stands up and gestures to the chair. “Sit.”

Accepting that as an order, not a request, Dick obeys. They’d be fighting over it all day otherwise. Besides, he was getting a little tired. Setting his crutch aside, Dick reaches over and carefully pets Jason’s hair. Something that’d probably earn him a punch to the face if he tried it while the kid was awake. Then he looks up at Bruce and finishes his thought, “As I was saying; More importantly, what did the doctors say about Jason’s condition?”

Bruce leans against the nearest wall, crossing his arms loosely and sighing before he responds, “A few broken ribs, multiple fractures in both his legs, fracture of his right forearm. His injuries are extensive, but they expect he’ll make a full recovery. We were… very lucky.”

“Thank god,” Dick murmurs, then adds almost as a joke, “And, I guess, that guy who saved him.”

At that, Bruce makes a face, frustrated and thoughtful. “Yes. Him.”

Well, that’s… interesting. Dick raises an eyebrow at Bruce. “You really have no idea who he was?”

“None.” Bruce grumbles and that kind of explains it. He’s not fond of mysteries he can’t solve. “He said his name was Alvin, but I’m not sure how much I trust that. More than anything it bothers me that he got away… It’s unnerving to know there’s someone out there who knows our identities and I don’t--”

“Wait wait wait wait wait!” Dick tries to keep his voice down but this is kind of a big deal. “Alfred didn’t say anything about the guy knowing our identities.”

Alfred seems equally surprised and confused when Dick looks to him for confirmation. “I was not informed either.”

Bruce looks from one of them to the other and then sighs, heavily, running a hand through his short hair. “It… It must not have occurred to me to mention it in all the chaos. Yes, somehow Alvin knew Jason and I and referred to us both by name. From what I gathered there’s no way he could have learned our identities from Sheila or Jason and… he seems to have no connection to Joker either. At this point I don’t know how he got that information.”

This could be really bad. Dick hisses on a deep intake of breath. But something doesn’t quite make sense, if Bruce knew that this guy had that information then, “How did he even get away?”

“I was distracted,” Bruce says, a little defensively. “I… I took my eyes off him for a moment to speak with Sheila and when I turned around again, he was gone.”

That sounds awfully familiar. Dick leans forward a bit fighting a grin as he says, “You mean to tell me, he pulled a Batman… on Batman?”

“I’ll admit I was impressed,” Bruce answers wryly.

“Ha!” Now he knows how poor Jim Gordon feels. Still, respect for the disappearing act aside, Dick’s not quite sure what to think of all this. On the one hand the guy did save Jason and that does earn him some ‘benefit of the doubt’ points. On the other though they don’t know anything about him and he knows more than enough about them to cause real damage. God, this could be bad. So Dick brings himself back to a serious attitude. “Have you got any theories about how he could’ve found us out?”

Of course Bruce has theories, theories are Bruce’s element. “Could be someone we’ve met before, he was comfortable enough calling me ‘Bruce’ rather than say ‘Mr Wayne’ though so you would think I would have recognized him. Magic and telepathy are both options but ones that seem… unlikely. I’m not enthused to entertain the ideas of him deciphering our identities for himself or time travel, but I won’t take them off the table either. Clark said he’d stop in later to watch the cowl recording and see if there’s anything he can hear that I might’ve missed. I want you to check the recording too, maybe you’ll recognize him.”

“Well, I can tell you that I don’t know many Alvins.” Dick relaxes in the chair and lets out a soft sigh. “But I’ll take a look.

“Even if you don’t recognize him another pair of eyes on this would be useful.”

Bruce yawns as he finishes speaking and Dick suddenly starts noticing all the little signs of exhaustion in Bruce’s face. It makes sense, Bruce probably hasn’t done much sleeping in the past few days. “B… you know, if you need to go home and get some sleep, I can sit with Jason for--”

“No.” Bruce’s voice is firm and a little sharp, but Dick does his best not to feel offended. He knows why Bruce is so high strung. He gets it. After a second, Bruce’s expression turns guilty. “Thank you… for offering, but… I’d rather be here. I know, it’s selfish of me, but I can’t…”

Dick sits still and silent for a long moment before saying as calmly as he can, “I understand. But call and keep me updated alright? I’m next to useless right now with this ankle so all I can do is sit around worrying.”

Bruce looks incredibly fond as he nods. “Of course, you and Alfred will be the first to know when he wakes up. I promise.”

“Okay.” Dick stretches. “I assume, Babs has already got someone on patrol while you’re out?”

Nodding Bruce answers, “She called in Black Canary, so no need to worry about that.”

“Good.” That takes some of the pressure off, but Dick’s still got things he can do without feeling superfluous. “I’ll handle the Alvin thing and see if Clark can sub for you for few nights so people don’t get suspicious. If you’re not ready to come back by the time my ankle heals, I’ll take over. Sound good?”

“I appreciate it, Dick…” Bruce looks down at the ground. “Really.”

Choosing to ignore that statement for both their sakes, Dick leans over closer to Jason and whispers, softly, “Get better soon, little brother. You gotta help me bully Bruce into taking a nap.”

Having said his farewell to Jason, Dick grabs his crutch and goes to stand. Bruce holds out his hand, for a moment Dick almost considers rejecting the offer, but what the hell. He lets Bruce pull him up and is only a little shocked when that little assistance is turned into a hug. Bruce’s arms wrapped tight around him like he’ll never let go.

Dick leans his head into Bruce’s shoulder and wraps one arm around him. Doesn’t react when Bruce places one hand on the back of Dick’s head and squeezes him tight. Even though he feels like he just wants to collapse into his father’s arms and cry until he has no tears left, he doesn’t. He just holds on.

Finally Bruce murmurs, “It's good to see you.”

“You... It's... good to see you too." Dick answers, feeling a bit awkward.

Bruce puts his hand on Dick’s shoulders and gently pushes him back looking down at him with a serious expression. “And you’re never useless.”

For a second Dick doesn’t know how to react, then he just barks a laugh. “That was a joke!”

“I know.” Bruce smiles gently.

Dick adjusts his crutch carefully and clears his throat. “I’ll, uh, I’ll be at the manor if you need me.”

Bruce nods and almost reluctantly lets go of Dick’s shoulders. “Get some rest.”

That demand is worth nothing more than a scoff and, “I will when you do.”

Next Chapter →

First Chapter

← Previous Chapter

#argothia's writing #argothia's fanfiction #story: still breathing part one: into the tiger's den #series: still breathing #fandom: bat family

0 notes

kakumeii · 7 months

Text

digital disappearance

while i was taking a bath, i thought about disappearing. what would happen if i just erased my entire digital footprint, receive limited interaction through imessage and email, and just… not make my presence known through a screen? i wondered if anyone would notice it right away.

ever since i was in junior high school (so that was 7th grade to 10th grade in my country), i’ve always had quiet summer breaks. my classmates were busy with their own lives, making the most of their free time before school starts again and all their freedom will be limited to weekend shenanigans. since i wasn’t necessarily talking to anyone throughout that period, i created ways for me to not get bored and waste my time. since my memory is frequently failing me, i can’t tell you much about the experiences i had when i began to make my own ways of entertainment and interaction. at that time, i was very into social media. i would spend hours scrolling and typing away on my phone, sitting in the same position on the same seat — the varnished wooden long chair we had in the living room. mom would always scold me for that habit, but to be honest, it was my only way to entertain myself.

when i hadn’t told her yet of the mental condition that i have (will not add more context to lessen the heaviness of the story), i pretty much poured it all into the fanfiction i wrote back then. yes, i have been writing fanfiction since i was twelve. until now, at eighteen (nineteen in a few months), i still do. of course grammar is a recurring issue because english isn’t my native language, but through years of practice, i was able to keep lifting myself to levels until i’d say would be fluency. but anyway, that’s not the whole point of this. to sum it up, i was just on my phone all the time. it was only when i was in senior high school (11th to 12th grade) that i finally got off my phone and did something productive. looking back, it was obviously because my school was really … demanding of time … i spent days doing school work, attending classes, and talking to different people due to academics and org work. there were lots of things going on, and i’m pretty sure that really fucked me up somehow.

it’s why thought about disappearing digitally. of course i can’t disappear all of a sudden, because i have responsibilities that i am committed to. but for the time being, while it’s still summer break and i literally have nothing else to do, i thought about disappearing for a bit. frankly, i am aware that introverts do this on the regular, but now i see the appeal of just being in your own bubble, even just for a while, because it helps you wind down and relax. i was unhealthily diligent during the school year, so i guess you could say that i was not used to doing nothing. although now that i am slowly trying to gain my peace by hiding in my cave again, it felt really nice and i somewhat wished that it could be like this forever.

i wanted to stop spending too much time on social media. albeit still using my gadgets, i only want to use it limitedly, just like what i am doing right now. what i’m doing right now still sets my digital presence, but it doesn’t fully unravel it the same way social media does. i’ll hop into apps every now and then, but not all the time. it also helps me develop skills and hobbies outside of the need to broadcast myself and whatever is happening in my life. i’m already content with having the circle i have now and the audience i’m interacting with. of course i don’t mind the people subscribing to me. kudos to you guys for reading the dumb rambles of an asian kid who’s still figuring out life but with more stress, considering that successful opportunities in my country are scarce and exclusive.

as i type down my thoughts right now, the rain is pouring really hard. the wind is like a monster revealing its power, swaying the pellet-like drops of rain. i can hear it clearly, almost deafeningly. the walls of my tiny home are thin, at least if you compare it to the tall-ceiling, well-constructed houses of my peers. the lightning looks like zeus is having a field day, or perhaps he’s pissed off. the thunder accompanying is like heaven crashing against the holograms of the sky. it’s kind of scary, you know? but i don’t find the need to flaunt it multiple times across different social media platforms and accounts, unless, well, we need to evacuate from this catastrophic experience.

my low self esteem always make me think that it won’t make a difference if i disappear at all. more likely that it is caused by the lack of consideration i had from former friends. they truly enjoyed days without me, and really showed that, well, i was just a nuisance. i accepted that. rather than fighting them and all, i decided to just move away. i’m sure there were reasons why they kind of didn’t want me around anymore, and maybe my mind was just trying to victimize myself. who even knows, right? i could have received it wrongly, or maybe that really was their intention. even then, the ship was sinking already, so i had no reason to sink with it. as they already hopped onto a different boat, so should i. this taught me that i am not entitled to be the priority of the lives of my friends, but i should also know which friend is good, and which is not. one of them was, you know, your typical high school gossipmonger who stirs up drama by exposing the secrets of people who confided in her to others. my mom never liked her from the beginning. she was the type of person who would never care if i disappeared, because if i weren’t useful to her, she wouldn’t bat an eyelash at me. she boasted the “regina george bad bitch” energy, but she really was just a bad person.

(i rambled and went off tangent, i’m sorry about that lol.)

okay so to end this, i’m just really glad that i have the confidence to lay off social media and still be entertained. my younger self will never believe me, though i’m just happy to realize that there really is life outside the internet. that place forces us to perform, and when we do, we get tired. some of us just aren’t built for continuous interaction, and maybe even my former friends had that mindset, too (although yes, watered down regina george has always been mean, and they still hang out with her because they benefit from the gossip she tells). i’ve recently downloaded threads since i have to for my art account, but even if it is necessary for me, i don’t force myself to learn the app and keep using it. most of the time, i don’t really mind how big the traction i’m receiving. i’m just happy doing what i like outside of the performative shell of social media.

you can ask yourself, “what would i do if i disappeared digitally?” then come back to me and tell me what you have reflected! thank you for your time!

#diary #kakumeii journal #academia #light academia #tw mental illness #tw insecurity

0 notes

simonthesadboy2 · 10 months

Text

TW: insanity and mentions of SH

I'm autistic and I wear glasses that I need to see anything so being an adult is going to suck major ass, on top of a million different social, economic, religious, national, international and local issues I'll have to grow up with, the majority of those issues being life threatening.

I consider suicide almost daily, and suicide hotlines have not helped, nor has therapy, I've had 3 therapist, all of them sucked.

No friends, no connection with my family, I've done nothing this summer, and school starts back on the 16th.

I want a lover, I want to wear women's clothes, I want to be free, I want to have friends, I want to love being alive, I want to be happy, I want to be healthy, I want life to be good, I just want things to be ok, please let things be ok, please spare me this torture, spare us all this torture, help us help us help us something someone please help us!

I want to do work and get the proper reward, I want to have time to be creative and imaginative, I want more time to read, I want to help other people, I just want to be a good person to myself and to others, but it feels impossible to even try to be a good person in this world.

Why do anything if you'll only be punished and condemned and excluded for being yourself and expressing yourself?

Why live when all people want is to kill you slowly by taking everything away from you?

Why live?

Why breathe?

Why try anything at all?

But I want to try, I want to breathe without a pain in my chest every time I do, I want to try (almost) everything, I want to live and to be human.

What am I to do?

Getting these thoughts out here instead of on paper because I'd need to focus on writing then lose the thought I was writing about.

Disconnected sentences and train of thought scattered and improperly punctuated runoff sentences screamed endlessly into the void of the internet.

Madman madman madman ramble ramble ramble talk talk speak shout shriek scream words words words just say something tell them anything just say something please!

I wish I could go back to when I was dumb, knowledge is a curse and a burden, even if it is beneficial, I am so tired of being tired of being tired of thinking about thinking while thinking thoughts about everything and anything and all of the time a little bit of everything all of the time!

How long will I do this? How much more will I type out here in this text box before I stop? How can you just sit there and tap away at the screen like a mindless drone?

It's all gone, I'm not me, this isn't home, these aren't my people, this isn't my land, I am not human.

Scatter-brain rambling with a slight hint of catharsis instantly replaced with more depression or numbness, I'm in bed all day every day, it's like a tomb.

Blah blah blah, this isn't going anywhere, I'm just running around in circles like I usually do but instead I'm doing it here on Tumblr where everyone can see but I frankly do not care.

Hold me close, rub my back, kiss me on the head, whisper in my ear about how good I'm doing, spoil me, baby me, let me be small and stupid for a moment, I'm tired of being this big brain loner with too many thoughts and nowhere near enough social interaction or physical contact.

It hasn't rained in months, I love the rain, I love the cold, it's been over 100°f and humid and sunny and I hate it just give me a week-long rainstorm with cold and darkness and a soothing sound scape and pretty grey clouds, let me have this.

Just give me something to work with.

...

Life doesn't feel worth living.

1 note · View note

eponymousfics · 11 months

Text

Just some personal anecdotal rambling while I take a break from cleaning about homesickness and writing:

(Under a cut bc it’s basically a personal essay lol)

I started writing Alola Again back in late 2021 (I think?) because the pandemic meant that my yearly visits back home had been on hold, and the yearning to go home was even stronger because of the general fear and anxiety of the whole situation.

I mean, it actually started because I decided to finally 100% my Alola ‘dex, since I’d sunk 1000+ hours into Animal Crossing: New Horizons at that point and needed a different game. Then Guzma suddenly hit a blorbo sweet spot in my head that had previously not existed (or had been entirely occupied by Nanu. I am a ‘cynical old man with a heart of gold he does his best to hide’ enjoyer).

I haven’t done a full reread of AA since fully uploading it, but I’ve gone back to some of the earlier chapters and listened back to a lot of my writing process voice memos, where I rambled to myself for collective hours trying to hash out plot details or pacing and character development etc.

I think looking back on it, I can safely say that fic would not have happened without the pandemic. That type of deep, concentrated homesickness that was the root and driving force behind its inception and execution was uniquely a result of quarantine isolation and the fact that I knew it wasn’t safe to travel home, and possibly wouldn’t be for a long time.

I already kind of knew this, because I wound up with the chance to go home in spring of 2022, when I had almost finished the fic but had a few more chapters left of the final draft to work out.

The INSTANT I was home, the tensed up spring of energy and need that had been pushing me along to make NaNoWriMo numbers every month for six months just…evaporated. And it was hard picking the fic back up again afterward. I couldn’t work on it much at all while I was home, which you’d think would be the opposite, since I could do ‘on location’ research, so to speak.

But AA is honestly so much more of the romanticized and idealized memory of my childhood and what I wish it could have been (much in the same way Alola itself is a very clean and idealized version of Hawaii, honestly almost pure tourist vision. Backed by real elements and actual research in places, yes, but also so carefully not mentioning/keeping out of frame the colonization and genocide of native culture while still presenting the polished version of the current state, which is entirely the result of those historical atrocities. Which, I can see why and how that happened, but I still have complicated mixed feelings over it and how much I enjoy the game despite that, and frankly in some ways because of it) that it became almost impossible to hold onto the dream that it was when sitting squarely in the middle of the reality it was based on.

As messy as things got because narratives need conflict, Mahina’s homecoming to Alola was everything I desperately wished my own could be. It’s simpler and easier because I have control over every element of it. All the emotional conflict happens on my terms because I’m the writer, I get to choose which emotional complications I want to examine and which I want to quietly pretend don’t exist.

And I get to see them all resolved, and have love and joy and humor thrown in to make it all palatable and worth it. It is baked with my baggage, it’s possibly more revealing than I should let anything put on the Internet be.

But I think a lot of fanfic is like that, and while there are a lotttt of technical flaws that I see now even just skimming over it in passing, the core of the story and the characters, the core of what it became, is still something I’m proud of.

And the fact that it’s finished, of course. Whatever else, it’s the first piece of long form writing that I’ve stuck to through multiple drafts to bring to completion. Is it perfect? No. Is it popular? No. Is it finished? Yes, and that’s important. For me, anyway.

Anyway, I’ve just had a lot of this on my mind because I’m home again, and slowly warming up to the idea of finally getting started on a sequel, which was always in the drafts but I needed space from it to even consider making a start. And because that deep down, bottom-of-the-soul homesickness is no longer gnawing at my every fiber. Whatever fuels the sequel, it won’t be that. I’ll have to attach a new anxiety onto it, I guess.

I think it did help me understand how to make these visits back home, though. Every time before had been fraught with tension between family members and an unnamed dissatisfaction because the reality of home couldn’t live up to the idealized yearning in my heart, but this trip…it’s been much easier.

I think the impromptu nature of it is helping. Originally, I wasn’t supposed to be here for three more weeks, but Circumstances(tm) dictated otherwise and I last-minute moved up my flight. Maybe I just didn’t have time to build up unrealistic expectations for it. Maybe I was just so depressed that the change of scenery has boosted me enough so I can just chill.

I don’t know what it is, probably a combination. But considering how I use fic as a big bandaid solution to not being able to afford therapy, well, I’ll probably wind up exploring it more in future writing. Whether that’ll be in the sequel to Alola Again or something else, we’ll see.

#epon rambles #eponbehindthescenes #alola again #sorry for the deeply personal philosophizing but this IS a blog so not sorry lol

0 notes

skiller0dani · 3 years

Text

Old Prison Blues | Spencer Reid

M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist

smut | dom!spencer x bau!reader requests info w.c | 7.2k summary | when your husband Spencer gets released from Prison, he's much different then you remember.

I have it so bad for this man, enjoy! Also guys this piece made butterflies squirm in my belly lmao this one is so HOT it made me blush. Guys, it made me B L U S H. I need to go dunk myself in holy water to atone for this SIN. (just kidding lmao I'm agnostic).

you can see his bulge in this gif and I can't stop admiring looking at it.

When you were in college you'd been an undergraduate in Criminal Justice, so you were familiar with the effects Prison has on the psyche. In other words, you knew Spencer would come back different. No person could pass through Prison unscathed and frankly you'd be more concerned if he came back and nothing had changed at all. At home, he seemed to be relatively okay, and those 6 mandatory weeks of break had allowed him the rest he deserved. Nothing exciting had happened during those weeks, the only thing you did was curl up on the couch next to him and watch movies. You'd made up for all those weeks in Prison during the evenings when you would cling to him and cry out his name in ecstasy.

Spencer really did seem to be fine, until you returned to work. That's when you started to see all the ways Prison had hardened him.

At first, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. If you were someone who knew Spencer well then you knew that he wasn't a man who was confident in his looks. When you and Spencer first got married he was insecure, and would be discouraged when you hung out with other guys. You wouldn't say he was jealous because jealously in itself requires a certain amount of anger. But when Spencer saw you around other men he wasn't angry, he was sad. Absolutely convinced you were going to leave him any second, despite you telling him you married him because you love him. Deep down, he always thought somebody would steal you from him even though you consistently reminded him how much you love him. That's just the kind of guy Spencer is.

Or, was.

The darkness that brews in Prison, the violent hatred, the anger seems to have followed Spencer to freedom. It has made a home in his chest, and while you're not worried about Spencer flying off the deep end and shooting an innocent, the anger reveals itself in much more subtle ways. It's in the way he clenches his jaw when he can't figure something out, or the blanching of his knuckles as he grips the steering wheel with a crushing force, it's the agitation in his eyes when he watches Alvez's knuckles brush against your lower back for the 3rd time since you two had arrived at the office this morning. The anger has adapted to civilian life like Spencer has, it's learned. It's subtle. Unfortunately you know Spencer almost better then he knows himself, you can tell when something is bothering him.

You slide your hands over his shoulders, and much to your surprise you feel him tense.

"You okay?" You know it's a stupid question, but you have to ask.

"Yeah, fine." Spencer's tone is clipped, shoulders rigid, back straight. Something is definitely bothering him. You squeeze his shoulders and begin to work at the tightened muscles, slowly easing them to relax. The tension flows out of him as he relaxes back in his desk chair, the frustration ebbing away slightly when his eyes catch your wedding ring. The object that binds you to him.

"Don't shut me out." You whisper, a soft plea in your voice. Spencer's heart wretches when he hears the fear in your tone, and one of his hands comes up to catch yours. He presses a chaste kiss to one of your knuckles before swiveling around to face you. You always find a way to soothe the violent, raging beast inside of him. Spencer's hands find your hips as he turns his gaze up to look at you.

"You're right I'm sorry. Just tense today." He says softly, and while there is a little lie to his words, his statement remains mostly the truth. He just leaves out the part where he pictures enacting varying forms of violence on Luke Alvez. The man who keeps unnecessarily touching his wife. You lean down to press a kiss to his forehead, your head snapping up when Garcia calls from the conference room.

"Got a case folks, and it's an ugly one." Her nose scrunches up into a frown before she turns into the room. You pull away from Spencer, yanking him to his feet by his hand. Luke sends you a playful wink as he trots up the stairs, and while you don't necessarily react to it, it still puts Spencer on edge. Deep down Spencer always knew you were way out of his league, but that never became clearer then when you came to visit him in Prison.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

You were trembling as you lowered yourself into the chair. Dried tears were on your cheeks, and you haven't even seen Spencer yet. The last time you saw him was a few weeks prior after he first got back from Mexico. Seeing his wrists bound in those metal handcuffs had broken your heart in a way you never anticipated. You wrung your hands together, luckily when Penelope had made the visitation Chart she scheduled you as the first person to come see him. The plastic chair was uncomfortable, but what was worse was the plastic guard separating you from Spencer. The clock ticked loudly, it was clearly mocking you. Reminding you of the seconds you were losing with Spencer, reminding you of all the seconds he was spending in Prison.

When you hear the buzzer scream loudly, you nearly come out of your seat you're so excited to see him. You and Spencer got married back in 2005, and you've never been separated from him for longer then a week. It's been over a month now, and each day he's not with you leaves a bigger hole in your chest. You watch him follow the other prisoners out, and the handcuffs around his wrists breaks your heart. His eyes light up the second he sees you, he nearly shoves the other guy over to get to you faster. There are tears in your eyes as Spencer's wrists are released from the cuffs from the guard standing nearby.

"Hey baby." Spencer says softly as he takes his seat across from you. All you want is to reach across the stupid barrier and touch him, hold his hand, anything. But you know the guards will punish him if he does, but being this close to him without being able to hold him is absolutely killing you. You try to blink the tears out of your eyes so that Spencer won't see, but it's all too much. Seeing him in a jumpsuit, with cuff bruises around his wrists, having to sleep in the same building as murderers. The first tear falls and you immediately look away from him.

"Please don't cry." Spencer begs softly. "I'm okay, really."

You wipe your tears before you look back up at him, digging around in your bag for a gift from Henry. You smile when you see the happiness cross onto his face as you pull the piece of paper out.

"Henry drew this for you, it's from when you guys went to the park." You hold it up for him to see and you try to fight another onslaught of tears when you see his eyes misting.

"You know, when I get out of here we should have one." Spencer says it so casually, you almost miss it. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head as you carefully lower the drawing.

"You want to try for a baby?" You can't hide the smile, and you see Spencer's eyes shine for the first time since he's been in here.

"Yeah, I want to have a baby with you." You and Spencer had a brief conversation about kids a few years ago, and you knew Spencer wasn't ready for it back then. His Father ran out on him and Diana when Spencer was just a kid, it made Spencer insecure about the type of Father he would end up being. In Spencer's mind, a fatherless man would never make a good Father. But it seems he's changed his mind. You had no issues agreeing to wait before you had kids until he was ready, you always knew Spencer would be a fantastic Father.

Suddenly from Spencer's right you hear a low wolf whistle. The tenderness that was on Spencer's face is instantly wiped away. His expression tenses, his jaw clenching as he turns his gaze to a large burly looking man covered in tattoos. The man sitting across from him, the one who was visiting, looked similar. Both of the biker looking men were eyeing me hungrily, it made my skin crawl.

"Something I can help you with?" Spencer asks, his voice tense. The tension in the room grows tenfold, and you fight the instinct to try and scoot closer to Spencer. The Biker looks Spencer in the eyes, a taunting smile on his face.

"That your sister?"

"Wife." Spencer snaps instantly.

"Your wife?" The Biker says incrediously, Spencer raises a brow, daring him to continue. "There's no way a woman with an ass that tight would marry a man as scrawny as you."

You expected to see insecurity flash in Spencer's eyes, instead all you saw was rage. Unbridled, violent rage.

"Choose your next words carefully." Spencer's voice was low, and as sharp as the edge of a blade. You almost didn't recognize him. The Biker leaned forward, fueled only by the knowledge that he was getting under Spencer's skin.

"She as tight as she looks? If I wasn't locked up, I'd fuck her so good she wouldn't even remember what your little pecker feels like."

Spencer's jaw clenches, and his fists curl tightly. The Biker is about 2 words away from a broken nose.

"Baby just let it go." You plead, and normally you don't really use pet names in public but right now you needed to show him that you're his.

"I'll tell you what Klein, I'll fuck her for you and tell you how it felt." The other man says, the man visiting. Upon hearing the words come out of his mouth, Spencer is shoving up from the chair but almost instantly a guard is tightly gripping Spencer's shirt and shoving him back into the chair. Spencer is fuming, and there's nothing you can do to calm him down.

"If you so much as lay a finger on her, your friend here will be dead before you can have another visit." Spencer hisses, and the two large men chuckle.

Spencer instantly took you off the visitors list, and while that felt like a blow to your heart you understood why. You didn't want to stress him out by visiting him.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

So, yeah, Spencer knew you were out of his league and when Luke pulled your chair out for you at the table before he had the chance to, it made his blood boil. Why is Luke trying to take care of you? Doesn't he know that Spencer has been released from Prison? You don't need anybody else to take care of you, your husband is more than capable of doing it himself. When Spencer sat down in the chair next to you, he rested one hand on your thigh. You're only slightly surprised, normally Spencer isn't this 'handsy' in public, but in recent weeks he's been more assertive around other men.

"The body of 23 year old Cassandra Richardson was found 2 weeks ago in Lincoln, Nebraska. Her body was mutilated and showed signs of sexual assault. Yesterday another body, 20 year old Francesca Williams was found around the same warehouse district with similar wounds to the first victim." Penelope rushes the words out, almost as though saying them pains her. Various images show on the screen of the two victims, both bloodied and battered.

"Other than similar injuries, what makes the local police think it's the same unsub?" Luke asks, his eyes flickering towards you for the briefest second. While Spencer was locked away, Luke became a shoulder to cry on. Normally when you were upset and Spencer wasn't around, you'd talk to Derek. But since he's been gone you've felt more isolated then you normally do. Luke had found you crying one morning before you had taken off, and ever since he's had an "older brother" protection over you.

"A tattoo on both of the victims thighs, the words 'temerata virginem' which is Latin for 'desecrated virgin'." With the click of a button on her remote, Penelope pulls up a photo of the tattoos. The lines are shaky, although they stay mostly straight.

"It almost looks professional, except the lines aren't perfectly straight. A professional would make the line work perfect." JJ says, examining the photo closer in the folder each of you received. You turn your gaze to Spencer when you feel his hand leave your thigh to examine the photo closer. You could practically see the gears turning in that beautiful mind of his.

"It's possible an outside source is causing a tremble in the unsubs hands, if he is a professional tattoo artist." Spencer mumbles, almost to himself. Sometimes when he's in deep concentration, he nearly forgets other people are in the room with him.

"Could be drugs-" Luke starts but is sharply cut off.

"Actually it's more likely to be alcohol, withdraw from other drugs would be too severe to operate the tattoo machine." Spencer snaps, causing a few heads to turn and look at him. Maybe under other circumstances someone would say something to him, but since Spencer got released from Prison only a few weeks ago, nobody says anything. Luke's eyebrows furrow together as he shoots Spencer a confused look, one Spencer chooses to ignore as his hand returns to your thigh. Spencer knows he's acting like a jerk but he can't help it, Luke needs to know who you belong to. Spencer had everything taken from him in Prison, he won't let anyone take you from him too.

"We've been personally asked by the local police to assist, so wheels up in 30." Emily concludes, shooting one more look at Spencer before everybody rises.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

The tension on the jet is thick, you're absolutely sure everybody can feel it. Hardly anyone has interacted with Spencer, except to ask him a question about the case. You sit back against the couch, Luke sitting in one of the chairs at the table, and Spencer sitting on the arm of the chair next to you. In your hand was a nearly empty cup of coffee, and just as you move to refill, Luke rises with his own empty cup.

"Need a refill?" He asks, offering you a friendly smile.

"Yeah actually-"

"I got it." Spencer says abruptly, standing from where he was sitting. His eyes meet Luke's, silently challenging him. You try to be understanding, but you can't help but feel annoyed at Spencer. If he was acting like this to some random guy then that's one thing, but this is Luke. He's your friend, he's Spencer's friend. Luke, and the rest of the team, put everything on the line to free Spencer from Prison.

"It's cool man, I can do it-" Luke offers again, but Spencer isn't having it.

"I said I got it." Spencer reaches his hand out for your mug, which you instantly give to him. His eyes don't leave Luke's until he turns around and heads to the back of the jet to refill your coffee. Luke pauses for a few seconds, his eyes meeting yours and mirroring the same look of concern before he heads for the coffee pot as well. Luke isn't even upset by how Spencer is treating him, he- like everyone else, is worried about Spencer's psyche.

"What is going on with Spencer?" JJ whispers once she's sure Spencer is out of earshot. You shrug, your worried eyes landing on your husband. His posture is tense, almost defensive.

"Well can you blame him? In Prison, everything that's yours can and will be stolen by the other male inmates. Now that he's free, Spencer is being protective of his wife, someone that is his and can be taken by other men." Rossi says, always naturally a tad protective of Spencer.

"There isn't a man on this planet that would make me leave Spencer." You say defensively, although you know Rossi didn't mean anything by what he said.

"That might be obvious to you, but not to Spencer." JJ says, eyeing Spencer standing back near the coffee machine.

"Doing okay man?" Luke asks hesitantly as he moves to stand next to Spencer.

"Yep." Spencer says shortly, waiting for the pot to brew. Luke feels the tension rolling off Spencer in waves, and it's all being directed at him and he's not sure why.

"Look, if I've done something to upset you, just talk to me about it Reid." Luke's voice is gentle, understanding. Spencer's jaw clenches again as the pot finishes brewing and he refreshes your cup before reaching for the creamer.

"I'm fine Alvez. Really." Spencer says again, but Luke isn't willing to let this go yet.

"No Reid, you're not-"

"Stop flirting with my wife." Spencer's tone is firm, and the look in his eyes tells Luke just how on edge Spencer is.

"You got it." Luke agrees instantly, even though he was never flirting with you. But he knows that right now arguing with Spencer will only make things worse. Seemingly satisfied with Luke's answer, Spencer carries your cup back you, slinging an arm around you.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Spencer twists his wedding ring around his ring finger, something he does when he's stressed out or tense. You're currently sat in the interrogation room with the male suspect, a tattoo artist attending AA meetings, the tattoo on the first victim was the shakiest because he had just quit drinking. The other, more recent, victims tattoo's were more steady. The longer he stayed sober, the more his trembling faded. In Spencer's other palm is your wedding ring, you fit the physical preference of this killer perfectly, but he only went after single women. Emily thought sending somebody in fitting his victimology would throw him off enough to say something incriminating. In order for the rouse to work, you needed to appear single- meaning the wedding ring had to come off. The thought didn't settle well in Spencer's gut.

"You have to relax." JJ said suddenly from Spencer's right. He nearly ignored her but his frayed nerves were beginning to eat at him.

"I can't. Do you see the way he's looking at her?" Spencer was pacing back and forth in front of the one way glass like a caged animal, unable to take his eyes off of the train wreck happening in front of him.

"She can handle herself Spence." JJ insists gently, almost using a motherly tone to talk to him.

"She's mine!" And suddenly the crux of the issue comes to light, and Spencer pinches the bridge of his nose, releasing a heavy breath. JJ thinks about her words carefully, trying to find something to say that will calm him at least a little.

"Yeah, and nothing is going to change that Spencer. You need to relax, and you have to trust her. You're not in Prison anymore, nobody is going to take her from you." JJ says, looking him in the eyes. Suddenly the sound of metal screeching across a concrete floor sounds from behind Spencer and when he turns around, his blood boils hot in his veins. The suspect, Alan Baker, has shoved out of his chair and has started towards you.

"Spencer-" JJ's voice is distant, and comes too late. Spencer isn't listening to her anymore when his fist curls around the door handle and he nearly rips it off its hinges.

"You need to step back." Spencer snaps, reaching for his gun as Alan Baker backs you into the corner of the interrogation room. You weren't ever truly afraid, you could have handled Alan. Slowly, Alan backs away from you and Spencer instantly reaches for you. He leads you out of the room with a gentle but firm hand on your back. Once you're out of the interrogation room you turn to Spencer.

"What the hell? I could have dealt with him!" You insist, frustration laced in your tone. At this point JJ silently slips out of the room, giving you and Spencer some much needed privacy. Spencer crosses his arms as he leans back against the one way mirror.

"You didn't need to, I did." Spencer huffs and you seriously resist the urge to throw something at him.

"What is your problem today? You could have compromised my entire interrogation, he's never going to tell me anything now!" You snap, anger pinching at your features.

"Good! Now you have no reason to talk to him again." Spencer snaps back, can't you see that he's just protecting what's his?

"Spencer we're trying to save somebody! You're being selfish!" You say to him angrily, trying your best not to start yelling at him. Spencer's selfish possessiveness over you could have just ruined your entire investigation.

"This is why the Bureau was hesitant to reinstate you. They were scared you wouldn't be able to control yourself." You snap at him, crossing your arms.

"Are you saying they made a mistake?" Spencer asks incrediously, suddenly becoming defensive.

"Maybe they did. Because you're acting like an asshole right now. You've been a jerk to Luke the entire day when he busted his ass to help get you out of Prison and back to me! Since when have you not trusted me during an interrogation? What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to let him touch me? I thought you trusted me." You cry out, tears filling your eyes now. Spencer didn't say anything as you turned for the door, anger still laced in his features.

"This has nothing to do with me not trusting you-"

"If you don't trust me, then maybe you should just hold onto my wedding ring for a while. I don't want it." You snap quietly, and you regret the words the second they leave your lips. No matter how mad he makes you, you'd never leave Spencer. You watch Spencer's expression shift from anger to...hurt. He watches silently as you slam the door behind you. Prison has turned him into somebody he isn't, and Spencer doesn't know how to turn off this part of his brain. The part telling him that you belong to him, and that he needs to protect what's his.

Rossi catches the sight of your tear stained cheeks as you move back towards the kitchen in the precinct. You wipe your tears as he comes to stand beside you, and the look on his face tells you that he overheard your fight with Spencer. Rossi bumps you with his elbow gently, a small smile on his face.

"You don't look okay." He says softly and you let out a self-depreciating laugh.

"I'm not. I don't know how to help Spencer, he doesn't trust me." You say sadly, your heart breaking in your chest.

"It's not you he doesn't trust, it's other men." Rossi clarifies, although it does little to ease the pain. You reach up to brush your hair behind your ear when Rossi catches your hand, examining your ring finger.

"Where's your wedding ring?"

"Told Spencer I didn't want it." The words are laced with heavy regret, and when you remember the look on his face when you said it you almost start to cry again. Rossi wraps an arm around you, and you lean your head on his shoulder.

"Deep down, he knows you didn't mean it." He tries to reassure you.

"That's the problem, he probably thinks I meant it."

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Normally it only takes you and Spencer a few hours to smooth things over after a fight. But this time, it's been nearly 3 hours and you haven't spoken a word to each other. You're both working on searching through Alan Baker's financial records without speaking at all. Neither of you have said anything, and Spencer still has your wedding ring. You desperately want it back, but you don't know how to start that conversation. You're angry about how he's been treating everybody, and you feel like asking for your ring is accepting defeat. You're not ready to accept defeat. When Emily comes into the room, her eyes settle on the two of you.

"Okay, what's going on with you guys?" Her arms are crossed.

"Nothing." The word comes from both yours and Spencer's mouths at the same time, and you say it far too quickly. Emily raises one brow at the two of you before closing the door behind her.

"Alright I'm going to have to be a boss now. We are not going to lock this guy away if the two of you are fighting. We need everybody on their A-game. Fix it. Now, and I mean right now." She says, leaving the room but closing the door behind her. There's a suffocating silence that fills the room, both you and Spencer too stubborn to speak first. But you can't take it, you hate it when he's mad at you. You hate it when you guys fight, which isn't often but it does happen occasionally.

"I didn't mean it." You whisper, leaning on the table, facing away from him. Spencer doesn't say anything but you know he's listening.

"I didn't mean it Spencer, I want my ring." He'd be lying if he said he wasn't relieved to hear you say that, his entire world crashed down around him the second you told him to keep the ring. The irrational part of his brain told him you were going to divorce him.

"Can I please have it back?" You ask, barely turning your head to look at him. With a huff Spencer pushes away from the table to move in front of you. His eyes are focused on your hand, he has yet to look at you. Spencer fishes around in his pocket before he finds your ring and gently slides it onto your ring finger.

"You have to stop glaring at any man that gets to close to me, especially Luke." You tell him, but he continues to look away from you. Spencer pushes past you to stand near the windows, his back facing you. The thing about Spencer is that he's stubborn, really stubborn. You take a few steps towards him, nibbling on your lower lip.

"I love you Spencer, I'm sorry. I was an ass, but you acted like an ass too." You tell him, but Spencer only turns his head further away from you. You move to stand in front of him, but his eyes turn to the ground and his arms are crossed tightly. Seriously?

"Please talk to me Spencer, tell me what's going on." You can see the frustration laced in his features, there's something on the tip of his tongue that he needs to say.

"Spencer."

"After you left from your visit, do you know why I didn't let you come back?" Spencer snaps, his hands finding your shoulders to yank your body against his. Your chest collides with his and suddenly you feel a dampness building between your legs. You instantly turn to putty in his hands.

"I didn't let you come back because that asshole told everybody about you. Told everybody what a tight little body you have. Soon the entire cell block was fantasizing about my 'sexy wife'. Do you have any idea what it's like to listen to men constantly talk about fucking your wife?" Spencer's voice is tense, but you can see it. The lust building behind his eyes, the frustration, and the fear of losing you simmering underneath it all.

"N-No." Your voice is breathy, and your eyes are lidded as Spencer's hands slide up your arms to your shoulders.

"It's fucking hell Y/N. Every time I see any man look at you I want to rip his eyes out, and I can't turn it off. I've tried, and the way that Alvez looks at you- it drives me fucking crazy." Spencer snaps, the anger building by the second. Your entire body begins to hum with an intense need, and Spencer can see it in your eyes. Spencer releases you then and he turns for the door, at first you're afraid he's going to leave but instead he locks the door. Luckily it's late, so the police station is more deserted then it is during the day. Turning back to you, Spencer reaches for the blinds next and you can't help but follow his every movement with your eyes.

"Get on your knees." Spencer says suddenly, and you freeze in shock. Did he just say...?

"Get. On. Your. Knees." Spencer says again through clenched teeth, leaning back against the table, heat simmering in his eyes. His hands grip the edge of the table and you feel a throb from between your legs. Quickly you scramble onto your knees in front of him, your hands reaching up to undo his belt. Once the belt is unfastened, you're quickly unbuttoning his dress slacks, your eagerness making your hands a bit clumsy. Spencer has never been this dominant during sex, but you have no complaints. He has your knees weak and he hasn't even touched you. You quickly dip your hand into his boxers to pull his hardening cock out. As soon as his cock is freed, your lips are wrapping around the head. Spencer's head tosses back in ecstasy.

"Your lips look so pretty stretched around my cock. Those bastards could only imagine having you on your knees for them." Spencer snaps, his hand weaving into the hair at the back of your head. You moan softly around him at his crude words, slowly sliding down his cock. Spencer groans when he feels your tongue laving the underside of his cock, along the vein that runs from base to tip. Apparently feeling impatient, Spencer pushes your head further down his cock. He feels his tip right at the entrance of your throat, and with one gentle thrust he breaches your throat and his cock slides all the way into your mouth.

"Fuck," Spencer hisses, and Spencer does not curse often. So the fact that you have been able to draw curses from his mouth is nothing short of a miracle. Spencer's chest heaves slightly as you gag lightly around him, drawing another deep groan from his chest. You feel nearly desperate to please him, you need to make him cum. You want him to fucking pound you, you want him to use your body for his pleasure. You want him to release all of his frustration out on you, you want to be sore when he's done.

"You're mine. This is my body to touch and admire, my tight pussy to stretch open, mine." Spencer growls, thrusting gently to meet your hasty movements. You whimper around his cock, gagging slightly again as spit dribbles down your chin. Your eyes are wide and watery as you look up at him, and the sight of you nearly causes him to blow his load. You just look so fucking beautiful on your knees in front of him, drool on your chin and your mouth full of cock. It's a sight he will never forget. You move your head faster, keeping your eyes locked on his. Spencer squeezes the edge of the table, his head tossing back when his orgasm hits him. You feel his cum shooting in spurts to the back of your throat and you swallow every drop. Once you pull off him, Spencer is grabbing your elbows to pull you to stand.

Spencer's hands are reaching for the button of your dress slacks as his mouth presses messily to yours. Spencer's tongue pushes into your mouth, his hands pushing your pants down and you kick them off. Instantly, Spencer's fingers are sliding into your panties and through your slick folds. You whine loudly against his mouth, your eyes fluttering shut as his palm roughly cradles the back of your head.

"Need to make sure you know who you belong to." Spencer snaps as he pulls away from you, quickly pushing two long fingers into your dripping hole. You cry out before Spencer is slapping a hand over your mouth, your back pressed against the wall. Spencer's slender frame is leaning against you, effectively trapping you against the wall and his body. Your eyes are rolling when Spencer's finger crook inside of you while roughly thrusting into you.

"Gotta be quiet, wouldn't want Luke to catch us now would we?" Spencer breathes in the shell of your ear, sending goosebumps spreading over your skin. You are completely at Spencer's mercy and you wouldn't have it any other way. The pleasure shooting through you goes rocketing up your spine when Spencer scissors his fingers inside of you. You're mumbling incoherently against his palm, desperate pleas not to stop, to please let you cum. Your entire body is flushed, and you feel sweat on your skin like a sheen layer over you. Spencer feels you begin to squeeze around his fingers and he replaces his palm with his mouth, swallowing all of your moans and desperate cries.

Your back is arching as your high approaches, and you climb higher and higher to meet it. Spencer never lets up, his fingers steadily pumping into you and his lips muffling all of your cries of pleasure. The sounds you make are music to his ears, they tell him that you will always be his, no matter what childish fears he has. Your hands come up to unbutton the buttons on Spencer's dress shirt, you need to feel more of him. Before you can finish undressing your husband, his fingers nudge your cervix and you instantly clamp around his fingers, your body convulsing.

"You look so beautiful when you cum." Spencer praises, his cock rock hard again. He needs to be inside of you as soon as humanely possible. Spencer pulls away from you to grasp the base of his cock, no need to bother with protection. The two of you already agreed that you want to try for a baby anyway.

"Please baby, please get inside me. How could you think I'd ever leave you? I love you, and nobody could make me cum like you can." You moan desperately, turning to bend over the table. Spencer's hand runs up your spine, enjoying the way you wriggle your hips in search of his cock. There are butterflies squirming in your stomach as you spread your legs apart wider for him, but he still doesn't bring his cock closer to you.

"Oh c'mon Spence don't do this please. Baby, fuck me." You plead, nearly sobbing as you shamlessly beg. He presses his tip against your soaked entrance and you whine. You hear fabric rustling around and you turn your head just in time to see him pull his tie from around his neck.

"I needed to hear you beg for me, and this is to keep you quiet. As much as I love the sounds you make when I'm inside you, I can't let anyone else hear you." Spencer says, his voice low and rumbling from his chest. You open your mouth to let him tie the silk fabric in your mouth. You try to whimper but you gag around the tie in your mouth, and you see a pleased smile cross onto Spencer's face. Your fingers grasp at the edge of the table as you impatiently wait for Spencer to push into you. You feel his glorious cock nestled at your entrance, the tip barely nudging in. You feel another wave of slick gush out of you and Spencer is running his tip through your already drenched folds. Such a tease.

You whine softly, trying to push back against him. Spencer chuckles darkly before his hands grasp your hips to hold you steady. With one firm thrust, Spencer is breaching your folds and sliding deep inside you. You feel heat searing through you, your head dropping to the table as you whimper through the burn. The stretch burns more then you anticipated, and you hear Spencer groaning softly, which sends another wave of liquid heat rushing through you.

"God you feel so good baby, you take my cock so fucking well." Spencer praises, gently pulling out to slowly thrust back in. His eyes are locked on the place where you two connect, watching with hooded eyes as his cock disappears inside you.

"I wish you could see this baby, I love watching you take my cock." He praises through a soft moan, and you drink up every sound he makes. Spencer needed this so bad and you love the fact that you can give him a type of relief nobody else on the planet can give him. Spencer steadily thrusts into you when you both hear footsteps slowly passing outside the room. You expect Spencer to stop, to pull out of you and start redressing but he doesn't. He slows his pace considerably, but he still slowly thrusts into you.

"Shh, I would hate for whoever that is to see my cock buried in your pretty pussy." Spencer whispers as he leans forward to whisper in your ear. You struggle to contain the whimpers, but somehow you remain completely silent as Spencer gently thrusts into you. Once whoever it is passes by, Spencer resumes his quicker thrusts. His pelvis hits your ass with enough force to send you lurching across the table and your fingers scramble to find purchase against the smooth surface.

"This is my pussy, you're my wife, you're mine. Not Luke's, not that dick from the Prison. Mine." Spencer says, punctuating the words with a sharp thrust into you. You wished you could answer him, that you could cry to the heavens that you belong to Spencer Reid- that you never want to belong to anybody else. You settle for squeezing his cock whenever it returns to your velvety warmth, chanting the same word in your head over and over.

Yours yours yours yours yours.

Your forehead presses against the table, muffled and strangled cries escaping your lips every time Spencer hits deep inside you. His cock stretches you perfectly, and always hits places deep inside you. Places you didn't know existed. Soon you feel your orgasm creeping up on you, and you feel lightheaded so you reach up to yank the tie away from your mouth.

"Please make me cum Spence, I'm so close baby please don't stop." You beg, muffling your moans with your palm as he drives his cock into you. You feel sweat covering your entire body and Spencer holds your hips with a bruising force. You feel that coil winding tighter and tighter, and you release a high pitched whine when Spencer's hand snakes around your body to thumb your clit.

"Oh Spencer your cock feels so good, soo good baby. Always feels so good, fuck baby I love you," You're not sure what you're saying at this point, an incoherent mess of praises for the man above you. Spencer loves when he reduces you to this, speaking in a jumble of words and disconnected statements because you can't think with his cock inside you.

"I, shit, I love you-" Spencer gasps, slamming his cock inside you and rolling your clit before you're squeezing around him tightly, your mouth falling open in a silent scream. You cum in hot gushes around him and Spencer can only offer a few more stuttering thrusts before he's cumming with a loud growl, coating your walls in his hot cum. Spencer keeps his cock inside you, ensuring his cum stays inside you. He wants to get you pregnant. His palms gently hold your hips, and all the frustration he's felt all day has completely disappeared. His chest is heaving from the exertion but he feels more relaxed then he has all day. There's a smile on your face and your eyes are closed as your legs finally give out and you collapse against the table.

"You okay?" You hear Spencer's voice, and you can't help but smile when you hear that he's panting slightly. You hum with a smile on your face.

"I'm amazing." You mumble back, feeling Spencer begin to gently massage your back. You love enjoying the afterglow with him, even if you're laying on a table. Slowly Spencer pulls out, but he groans softly when he sees his cum inside your pussy. He reaches to the floor to pull your panties and dress slacks back up your legs and he quickly tucks himself back into his pants. He buttons the 4 buttons you managed to open on his shirt before he's gently pulling you to stand.

"You sure you're alright?" Spencer asks, concern in his eyes. You nod with a smile, but when he releases his hold on your shoulders, you feel your legs tremble and give out underneath you. Spencer immediately catches you and sets you down on the table. You laugh softly.

"Guess you fucked me good."

"Sorry." Spencer says sheepishly, but you press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Don't be, that had to have been the best sex we've had in a long time." You mumble against his lips and Spencer hums in agreement. Reaching for his tie, Spencer shoves it in his pocket before he pokes his head out of the room you guys just defiled.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry about what I said. I love you so much, I didn't mean what I said about my ring-" You blubber suddenly, drawing Spencer's attention to you. He cradles your head against his chest, pressing kisses to your forehead.

"I know baby, it's okay. I love you." Spencer answers quietly, holding you to him tightly.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk today. I'm just so protective of you. I can't let anything steal you from me." Spencer admits softly and you cup his cheeks to make him look at you. There is a sadness in his eyes that you want to obliterate, you can't stand it when he's sad. It breaks your heart.

"Nothing could steal me from you. I only want you Spencer." You say quietly and you see tears misting his eyes. He presses his lips desperately against yours, and you feel tears cascading down yours and his cheeks. The kiss is wet, but it's passionate and you throw every ounce of love you have for this man into it. When you and Spencer part, your foreheads are pressed together.

"Hey Spence? How am I gonna get to the hotel. I can't walk." You say softly with a giggle and Spencer smiles mischievously.

"I guess I'll have to carry you." He scoops you bridal style into his arms then and you blush deeply when he carries you out of the room and towards the front entrance.

"Spencer! Everybody is going to know!" You whisper into his ear and he chuckles.

"Good."

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer x y/n #spencer x you #post prison spencer #jealousy #possessive #criminal minds #smut #spencer reid x you #spencer x reader #jealous smut

4K notes · View notes

ma3mae · 2 years

Text

Special Chapter Part 1 : A rainy day

Author's note: Holy shit, I'm finally back with something!! Never expected it to get this lonf but I got a bit carried away with writing some cute scenes 👉👈 It also kinda helped me warm up and clear my head about where I want this story to go. Also got too busy with gushing about how cute Vi is in this story a a a. Hopefully you'll enjoy this and dont be too confused if some sentences sound weird when Vi's speaking bc she's still trying to master the language (i hope i didnt write it too weird aa) i also havent proofread it properly bc its midnight and im tired 🥲

Summary: You and Vi had been living together for some months now. Things were going pretty well between the two of you with some feelings blossoming here and there. Going through a lazy rainy day, the both of you were spending it normally like any other day. That is until you get a great idea. Oh, you genius.

Words: 7437 Words

Warnings: none except maybe some swear words?? And definitely some awkwardness with some cute moments on top of it.

Masterlist

Vi was sitting on your couch while watching TV. Legs on the table and her top slightly pulled up, showing her abs while scratching her stomach. An "Oof" came out of her mouth as she patted her stomach.

"Pff, you okay?" you chuckled turning to look over the counter of your kitchen, a plate and a towel in your hand.

She peeked over her shoulder to take a glance at you before shifting her eyes back onto the TV screen.

"Just feeling - uhhh- full after that much food" she curtly said, eyebrows slightly furrowing as she clicked her tounge.

"Was it good?" you asked her as you put a plate into one of your cupboards.

"Yeah yeah, was good" she absentmindedly threw up a thumbs up, not looking back this time.

It had become a habit of you both to use a thumbs up or down for good or bad and was one of the first things you had agreed to use to talk to each other.

She was randomly switching through the channels, searching for something interesting that she could watch and wouldn't have to struggle too much with deciphering what they were saying.

It had been some months since she had landed into this world. The beginning was pretty rocky and stressful.

It had taken a while until the both of you had gotten used to each other. She herself had to tone down a lot of her fighting instincts and her brashness. Pretty much her tendency to get impatient and all that.

She wasn't one to get violent against someone, who couldn't fight back and didn't mean any harm but she was the type who would definitely get loud when they're riled up.

Unfortunately was it you who had gotten yelled at by her during an argument and frankly, you were whaling after that due to bad experiences associated with yelling.

So she basically had to get her shit together to make this work.

Well, it was just really frustrating to be somewhere you didn't know shit about and she quickly learned that she had to let herself trust you.

Nowadays, there hasnt been a single moment where she hadn't been thankful towards you since you were literally turning everything upside down to make her feel comfortable.

You gave her a roof, new clothes, three days a meal, would take the time to teach her your language bit by bit and she'd teach you some of hers in exchange.

Not to mention that she had started to stare at you more often with a strange tingly feeling welling up in her chest a month ago.

Whenever she'd catch herself doing that, she would distract herself with her phone or go outside for a jog.

Or just look anywhere else but you.

Yes, you even bought her own phone and it was mentally challenging to explain to her how the wonders of a phone worked with hand gestures and roughly thrown in words buuut it somehow worked.

And today the two of you were living through a lazy rainy day, completely comfortable with each other.

Vi's thumb continued to press the button as she mindlessly browsed through the channels.

Putting the last dish into the cupboard, you heard a small "wow" escape from her lips.

Raising an eyebrow, you layed the towel next to the sink and made your way towards the couch.

You stood behind her as you put your hands onto the couch, leaning slightly forward and moving your eyes onto the screen.

It was a documentary about the mountain animals.

Glancing down at Vi, you could see an entranced expression on her face.

Mouth parted slightly open and her eyes resembling those of your little brother whenever he would watch his favorite Ninja from Ninjago do something really cool.

Your heart was literally squeezing so hard from how cute she just looked.

You tap her shoulder, making her lift her head back to look up at you.

Fuck, she looks even cuter from this angle A A A A

Giving her a soft smile, you ask "What are you watching?" while pointing with your index finger at the TV.

Blushing faintly by your infectious smile, she gave you a loopsided one back and moved her eyes back onto the screen.

"Uhmm it's about... mountains aaaaand animals. Yeah, mountains and animals." She repeated twice to make sure that she had said it correctly.

Beaming down at her and nearly choking with pride, you lean down to put your arms around her neck.

"Hey, you got it right!! See, it's getting better and better!!" you told her, giving her a short but tight squeeze before releasing her from your grip and jump over the couch to take a seat next to her.

Vi could feel her heart wanting to jump out as you had squeezed her.

< Holy fuck >

She felt her hand tighten it's grip around the remote controller.

Letting out a shaky breath, she could feel her face getting warm and it didn't help that you chose to sit pretty close to her, your legs almost touching each other.

You turned to look at her and saw her face getting red.

"You sure you're okay?" you raised an eyebrow at her while gently pressing the back of your hand on her forehead.

That only made her burning face even hotter.

"Holy shit, Vi! You're burning up! " you said to her, a worried expression on her face.

"Nonono, it's okay. Just feeling a bit hot." she told you scrambling a bit to find the right words. She took your hand and gently pried it off of her forehead but not letting go of it.

Giving your hand a light squeeze to reassure you that she's okay, she lets go of it and points towards the TV.

"Have you - uhhh- seen mountains?" trying to quickly change the topic to stop her face from burning up, she now wanted to slap herself for asking you such a question.

< Great fucking job, me. Wanted to ask if she's been to the mountains but at the exact moment, I can't remember the damn words. >

Luckily you knew what she had meant with that question since after a while you've developed a knack for deciphering her words.

Glancing at the screen, they were now showing some pretty panoramic shots of the mountains while explaining how mountains formed.

"Hmm" you hummed as you stared at the screen in concentration, Vi looking slightly tilting her head to the side and waiting for your answer.

Your eyebrows and nose were a bit scrunched together, your mouth forming a bit of a pout.

"Cute.", she muttered under her breath as she looked at your pensive expression.

"Did you say something?"

"N-No, just waiting for your answer"

< Oh my god, this can't get even more awkward >

"Hmm, well I've only been once to the mountains with my grandma." you said to her, emphasizing the "once" with your index finger.

"With who?" Vi had understood the first part but couldn't recall what "grandma" meant in your language.

"Ah, wait" you told her, quickly holding your palm towards her to urge her to wait as you got up and when towards the shelves hanging over your TV.

You took the picture of you with your grandma and you with your parents in your hands. You went back to the couch and plopped down next to Vi.

Pointing at your mom, you said " So this is my Mother", you moved your finger to the other picture "and this is my Grandmother but you can also say 'mom' or 'grandma' so it's easier to say."

Meanwhile Vi was internally gushing about how adorable you had looked as a child as you explained her who was who.

You took a look at her and saw that she looked weirdly intrigued by a simple photo of you and your relatives.

Deciding to tease her a bit, you hold back a smirk as you hold the pictures up infront of you and ask "So a question from your teacher. Who is my 'Mother' and who is my 'Grandmother'?"

Rolling her eyes at your antics but knowing you only wanted to test her, she decided to play along.

"So this is your grandmother and this is your mother." she had pointed first with her finger towards your grandma and then your mom.

"Was that, right?" she asked seeing as you weren't saying anything and just staring at her.

"Oh come on, Y/N! What's the answer?" she threw you a deadpanned look. Okay now she was slowly getting annoyed because it was just a simple question and you were unnecessarily dragging it out.

Snickering, you put the pictures onto the table infront of the couch and shrugged your shoulders.

"What do you think?"

"UGH, I'm taking a shower" she threw her hands up as she stood up from the couch and went towards your room to get herself some fresh clothes.

"Okay, okay - pff- you were right." you yelled after her while trying to contain your laughter.

"Yeah, yeah. I know!" she yelled back from your room and came out with a bundle of clothes, throwing you a glance as she shook her head and huffed through her nose.

She couldn't really be annoyed at you for being so annoyingly endearing.

"Don't use up my purple shampoo bottle, please! It's my favorite one." you yelled before she could shut the door.

"Thanks. I'll use it aaaaall up cause of your stupid question." she quickly said but loud enough for you to hear before she shut the door, not waiting for your reply.

"From where did you learn the word" stupid"?! " you exclaimed playfully shocked.

" Someone just swears a lot in this house and it's not only me" you heard her muffled shouting as the sound of running water followed.

"It's not Vi without some swearing, I guess" you chuckled to yourself. Due to her steadily improved speech, her comebacks were also getting better. You weren't trying to belittle her but she just sounded so adorable whenever she would retort with something with that cute accent and more or less broken speech. She was trying real hard to come up with more elaborate words to not burden you with having to keep using simple speech so she'd understand it well which would lead to you having to reassure her, that she doesn't have to force herself to improve since it would come naturally and you were for sure not one to pressure someone.

Looking at the screen, there were now credits rolling down.

You recall Vi's awed expression and you were feeling happy that she wanted to know if you had gone to the mountains.

It was probably out of curiousity but you had a feeling that she also wanted to know more about you.

Well, you were hoping for it and not to mention that your chest couldn't stop welling up with pride because she kept steadily improving.

You couldn't blame her though because who would want to stay in a world where you couldn't understand anyone.

Secretly you were hoping that maybe you were one of the reasons for her eagerness to master the language.

Okay, Y/N. Get down from your high horse, yeehaw but it's a clear sign that I'm not that bad of a teacher, amirite

Glancing at the pictures on the table, you decided to put them back onto the shelves.

Gently putting them back, you hold a longing gaze at your grandma.

"Damn, grandma. If you could just see what's going on at my place. You would have been really happy about having someone who you could finally feed many many plates of your delicious cooking. She would have definitely loved it." you whispered as a slightly sorrowful smile started to creep onto your face.

" Maybe we could have gone to the mountains together again with her. "

The trip with your grandma in South Tyrol was one of the fondest memories you had of her. Just hiking up these mountains, your lungs being filled with such fresh air and the view.

Oh boy, the view.

It was just so majestic for 7 year old Y/N as your grandma gave you a loving pat on the head while telling you how proud she was that you've managed to push through and hike up with her.

The image of you and your grandma standing next to each other while taking in the view is something you would never dare to forget.

"It would be nice if she could see it too." you told your grandma as you merely got her kind smile and the silence of the picture for a reply.

Taking a step back to take a last look before having to start cooking, your mind began to shift gears.

Your eyes widened as a sudden idea popped up in your head.

A really fucking great idea.

You heard the door open up, an indication that Vi was done with her shower.

She was drying her hair with a towel while holding your favorite shampoo in the other and peeking inside the tiny hole of it.

"Okay, so there is little left of your shampoo. You can thank me lat-"

Moving her head up, she could see you standing infront of the shelves.

Precisely infront of the pictures you had shown her earlier.

She stood there for some seconds, watching if you'd react at all.

"You okay, cupcake?" she asked you, while quirking an eyebrow at you.

Startled you turn around, your mood having done a full 180 degree turn as you beamed at her.

Quickly walking up to her, you grabbed her by her shoulders.

"Oh my god, Vi!!"

"W-What?"

"OH MY GOD, VI!!"

"Oh my god, Y/N!! What is it?!" she grabbed your right shoulder while mimicking your voice by making hers a pitch higher and shook you slightly back and forth just as you did.

"I. Am. A. Genius." you told her and with each emphasized word moved your face closer to hers until your noses were nearly touching.

Wide and confused steel blue eyes were looking at you as you could feel her hand clenching your shoulder a bit.

You were too excited to notice her shaky breathing and flickering eyes.

Exhaling deeply, she pushed you a bit back from her and gave you a smile.

Sooner or later you'll be the death of me

"O-Oh, was I too close?" you asked her, your beaming smile morphing into a worried expression and your grasp on her shoulders weakening.

"Nono, you just - uuhhhh- fuck what was that word again?"

"Surprised you?"

"Yeah! Surprised me! So everything's okay." she reassured you as she tucked a stray hair behind your ears, her rough hand softly brushing against your cheek.

"Oh okay then I'm glad" you said while you let your hands slide down from her shoulders to take a hold of her wrists.

"So why exactly are you a genius?" she asked. She was trying real hard to keep her eyes on your face so you wouldn't notice her nervousness and she really didn't want to make you worry again.

She couldn't really move her eyes elsewhere too since your oversized shirt, which was sliding on one shoulder down and your shorts, that stopped at the middle of your thigh were honestly not helping her at all.

You had to bite your lip to contain from squealing out of excitement (while making Vi experience some real hard gay panic) as you inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"So as you know, I've got a summer vacation starting soon, right?"

Vi only blinked at you and shifted her eyes left to right until they went back to look at you again.

"Wait, what's a vacation again?"

"I basically don't have to go to work in 7 days and this time for 14 days!"

"Ohh, cool! And?"

"That's it."

Vi blinked once.

Twice.

Thrice.

"Wait, that's it?"

"Yeah."

"Pff"

She slightly pushed you back as she was trying to contain her laugh but ended absolutely failing that task.

"D-Did you just *wheeze* shake me and yell at me, just to say that you had a vacation? I-i mean that's good for you! You can watch TV or sleep longer aaand so on."

Owlishly blinking at her, you booped her nose.

"I'm a genius."

Gently shoving your hand away from her face, she put her free hand onto your cheek.

"A cute genius." she told you as she pinched your cheek.

"H-Hey, my cheek! Also what did you just say?" you asked as you rubbed your now violated cheek while squinting your eyes trying to mimick her glare.

She only gave you a loopsided smirk as she leaned slightly towards your face.

"Nothing." she said as she turned around to go back to the bathroom but not before roughly ruffling your hair.

"S-Stop it! Oof, you're such a tease sometimes." you grumbled to yourself as you tried to clean the mess up she had created on your head.

"What did you just say?" came from the bathroom.

"Nnnnnnothing!" you mimicked her as you went to your room to grab a small piece of paper and a pen.

"Real funny" came as a reply as you heard her open the fridge.

Huffing through your nose while shaking your head, you started to write down a list for the things you would need for your 'endeavor'.

Luckily you still had your old hiking backpack and boots but Vi needed some.

That's where your good friend Amazon had to help you out but you definitely gonna drag her ass to go shopping with you since you wanted proper hiking shoes were really important and you didn't want her to suffer from blisters.

She'd probably not even mind that but only the best for her, am I right?

You chuckled to yourself as you were nearly done with the list.

Your plan was gonna be perfect and it was gonna be a surprise for Vi.

You really had to stop pampering her before you'd end up broke but how could you not when you've got so many things to show her that she hadn't been able to experience in her world.

Either these things didn't exist or it was just due to her living circumstances.

You had went over to write another list for your groceries as you heard a knock on your door.

Before you could reply, she already came barging in with a popsicle in her hand and the other holding the door's handle.

"Why did you knock when you were going to open it anyway?" you quirked an eyebrow as you questioned her antics.

Nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders, she took a bite of her popsicle while shifting her eyes towards your list.

"You weren't naked soooo" she reasoned as she stepped closer to take a look what you had written.

"Classic" you huffed while a smile crept up to your face as you finished your list.

Vi stood behind you as she looked over your shoulder, enjoying the perks of being some inches taller than you.

"Aha! Finally done" you exclaimed, aprubtly standing straight and bumping the back of your head against her chin.

"Ow!"

"Oof, sweetie? You okay?"

Immediately turning around, she seemed pretty unaffected by it while you were rubbing your head.

Realising what had just happened, you quickly put down the pen in your hand and grabbed her face.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Is your chin alright?" you asked her as you tapped gently onto her chin so she'd know what you meant.

Letting out a soft laugh, she booped your nose.

"I'm okay, munchkin. But you gotta buy some popsicles because I just ate the last one. Maybe I'll forgive you after that." she smirked at you while holding her nearly done popsicle infront of your face.

Not letting her tease you this time, you stole her last bite of it.

Vi could only gasp in shock as she moved her eyes back and forth between you and her now gone popsicle.

Only the stick was left in her hand.

"My popsicle?!"

" Our popsicle. So now let's go buy some new ones before someone starts to cry about it. We gotta buy some groceries anyway."

Huffing through her nose, she stuck her tounge out at you.

"Then go and throw this into the trash for me". She took your wrist and before you could react, put the popsicle stick into your hand before letting go and made her way towards your wardrobe.

You could only deadpan at her but decided to let her take the 'win' and took your list with you.

"Tell me when you're done" you told her as you went to the kitchen.

"Why? You're missing a show." You could literally hear her smirking.

"Oh come on, atleast say something, Y/N!"

Snickering as you closed the cabinet under your sink, where your trash can was, you made your way back, finding her only in her black jogging pants and white sports bra as you went into your room.

Turning around with a shirt in her hands, she threw it over her shoulder while eyeing you.

She was suggestively wiggling her eyebrows at you. "Came for the show, pumpkin?". You rolled your eyes but decided to amuse her for a bit. To your advantage, she was standing not too far from your bed.

I can play her game too

You began to walk towards her. An eyebrow of hers raising up as if daring you to show her what you're planning.

Pressing your palm onto her chest, you pushed her back, using up little to no force. She was clearly letting you do this since she had still that shit eating smirk on her face.

Her legs had hit your bed as you pushed her down with some force, making her fall onto it with a small "oomph".

She propped herself up onto her elbows as she layed on her back, waiting for your next move.

"So now what, munchkin?"

You didn't reply as you bent over her.

Seeing her eyes widen for a fraction before she tried to cover it up with another smirk of hers, made you feel prouder than you should be.

Wait until I do this.

You began to crawl on top of her and made yourself comfortable on her thighs, effectively straddling her.

Now this was a view you could get used to.

Seeing her beneath you was kinda doing things to you.

Kinda? More like fuck, she's cute.

Vi was too far gone. There was no use hiding her blush now as she really didn't expect you to be this bold since you were usually the one who would try not to invade someone's personal space out of nowhere.

Especially not like this.

But she was definitely not complaining.

Your bare thighs were within her reach. Your oversized shirt showing a bit of your cleavage as it slid down your shoulder.

She gently put her hands onto your knees. She didn't dare to move her hands further up, not wanting to ruin things between the both of you.

But those delicious looking thighs would nearly make her mouth water at the mere sight of them.

Feeling her slightly shaky touch only made your smirk widen as you put more weight onto her thighs, pressing yourself further into her.

Her breath hitched as you saw her squint at you with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Cupcake, you're killing me like this"

Wondering if you've made her that flustered that she was slipping out words in her language, only made you let out a soft laugh.

"Are you that nervous, that you're speaking in your language, Vi?"

Before she could give you a reply, you leaned down until your noses were nearly touching each other.

Seeing her eyes from this close just took your breath away.

Just like you could feel the warmth of her breath hitting your face.

Her entire body was feeling pretty hot.

Chuckling, you tilted your head slightly back to give her a kiss on her forehead.

Putting your hand against her cheek, you stroke it gently as you looked her in the eyes.

"Come on, silly. Let's go before the shops start to close cause we're taking too long to get ready " came out as a whisper as you sat straight up. Not even waiting for her to say something, you went to your wardrobe and took out some blue jeans and an oversized hoodie with a dog paw print on the front.

"We'll go after I'm done changing my clothes so you better be ready till then" You took a glance over your shoulder and to top it off, blew her a kiss before going to the bathroom.

It took her some seconds to process what just happened. She raised her hand onto her forehead, gently stroking the spot you had just kissed.

"Fuck, she's driving me crazy" she mumbled as she closed her eyes, letting out a long breath she had been holding the entire time.

This time, she would let you have this win.

Forcing herself to get up, she threw on a tank top and a hoodie over it. Replaying the same moment over and over in her head until she heard her voice call out to her.

"Vi, could you take the trash out with you?" You were already putting on your shoes in the hallway as Vi came out, mumbling something under her breath. Taking her silence towards you as a win, you decided to let her be as she made her way towards the trash can in your kitchen.

Omg, did I fluster her that much??

Trying not to slip out a snicker, you glanced at your phone, glad that you had enough time to buy some groceries and other necessities for your surprise trip.

You put hand into thr pockets of your jacket to check if you've got everything.

Wh-? Where are my keys??

Lowkey panicking, you made a quick stride towards your room.

"Excuse me, where is it??" Frantically looking around in your room, you couldn't see it. This was another peak moment of yours. The key had been in your pocket for days and as soon as you needed it, it's gone.

Meanwhile Vi had been standing in the hallway with the trash bag beside her. Suddenly hearing your loud swearing snapped her out of her thoughts. Chuckling to herself, she went to the coatrack, where some of your other jackets hung.

< Huhh, which one did she wear yesterday? >

She began to randomly dig through pockets until she felt something cold and metallic graze her fingers.

"Y/N, come back. I found your key!"

"OOF where the fuck was that thing?" you came out of your room, huffing exasperated.

"Well, it was in one of your jackets." She said as she pointed at the jacket you had worn yesterday.

"Oohhh, now I remember. Oops, forgot about it" you shrugged your shoulders as you threw a sheepish smile at her. You only got an eyeroll and ruffling your head as an answer.

"H-Hey!"

Snickering, she gave you your key and pinched your cheek as she turned around and took the trash bag with her.

"Well, now you got it back so let's go, cupcake."

"Yeah yeah but thanks anyway. Wouldn't have found it without you." You told her as the both of you exited your apartment and walked towards the building's door.

Vi only gave you a smug smirk over her shoulders as she opened the door.

"Glad I can help you, cutie" Holding the door open for you, she gave you a wink. Sooner or later your eyes would fall out from how often you've been rolling your eyes these days.

"Ever the charmer, are we? Also you still haven't told me what cupcake or the thing you just said meant." you asked her as she threw the trash into the trash bin standing near the entrance.

Turning around, she shrugged her shoulders at you and still had that smug ass smirk on her face." It's a secret. "

You squinted your eyes at her.

" Sooner or later I'll find it out or I'll just make you say it"

She whistled at your cute intimidation.

"Cupcake, you can't even hurt a fly."

"Ugh, let's just drive already" You jammed your key into your car's door and opened it.

Following your lead, she went inside and plopped onto the passenger's seat.

"Waddya wanna listen to?", you asked her as you plugged in the AUX cable into your phone.

Vi blinked at you, processing your words in her head.

"Uhh, you mean music?"

"Yeah"

"Ohhh uh not sure. I'll listen to what you listen to" she said as she shrugged her shoulders.

"You know what, I'll let you choose what we should listen to". You put your phone in her hand as you turned on the engine.

She gave you a smile, happily took your phone and opened up Spotify.

"Oh okay. Then I'll find some good music" she chirped while scrolling down on your playlist.

You smiled at that as you slightly leaned towards her to boop her nose.

"I'm sure you will"

Vi only scrunched her nose at you as you began to drive your car out of the parking lot.

----------------------------------------------------

"Finally home."

Vi dramatically exclaimed as she kicked her shoes off. Dragging the bags with her, she let them drop onto the floor as she plopped face down onto the couch.

Chuckling, you closed the door behind you as you set the bags down.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad." you mused while slipping your shoes off.

Vi scoffed. "Excuse me? We went to like what - ten? - yeah ten or more different shops! And we have like so many fucking bags! Instead of maybe sitting down for a bit or eat something , No! We had to hurry because someone took too long at the clothing section!" If anybody would have told you before meeting her, that going shopping with her would make her behave like the biggest baby in the world, you would have never believed them.

She was able to take down anyone that stood her way and wouldn't even think of complaining even if she would've gotten shot by a bullet.

But shopping? You could hear god tell you to have mercy on her.

Sighing, you dropped the bags in the hallway and made your way towards the couch.

Not gonna lie but her being a big baby after that is so adorable but also exhausting.

Maybe it was some 'elderly sister' thing (even though she's two years older than you) but her being all whiny and dramatic just made you want to pamper her more.

You stopped in your tracks.

*Gasp* Maybe that's her goal. Well let's not question her before she'll disappear outta nowhere just to come back and say "Aah, I went out for a jog and maayybe got into a fight with someone but now I feel a lot better"

Shaking your head at your weird thoughts, you went towards the couch and stood behind it.

Peering over, she still hadn't budged from her position.

"How can you breathe with your face getting stuffed into the couch?"

"I'm fine, thank you." she replied into the couch, her voice getting muffled by it.

Walking around the couch, you crouched down and kneeled infront of it and next to her head.

Poke

"Stop"

She turned her head, her cheek pressed against the cushion as she squinted at you. Normally, she would have retorted with something playful or cheeky but this shopping trip had really snuffed all her energy out of her.

Carrying the bags itself wasn't a problem and she adored the look on your face whenever you would find something to buy for her.

She had a hard time getting used to that and is actually still trying to adjust since she had never known or experienced being pampered like that at all. She was usually the one that had to look out for others. She was their pillar. Their leader and the one shouldering everything.

And now she was living a level of comfort that she had never thought of being able to witness.

It would just get stressful after a while since shopping seemed to somehow enhance your endurance and speed because even after having been there for months, she still wasn't able to memorize where to find the things you need. It was especially difficult in the bigger city near your small one since it was loaded with a huge varity of shops and having to search for you every five seconds in those huge crowds was just exhausting.

So Vi wasn't feeling too bad for being dramatic because 1. She was hungry and 2. Having to fear losing you and being left alone in a city she didn't really know how to manuveur through was not helping her at all.

-She just hated the thought of losing you and being left by herself at the end-

Letting a soft smile grace your lips, you tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek.

"Was it that tiring, Vi?" you cooed at her and began to gently stroke her cheek with your thumb.

She closed her eyes and let out a pleased sigh at your soft touch. Putting her hand over yours, she opened her eyes and her gaze having softened significantly.

" Yes. Yes, it was tiring. You would always be gone whenever I would turn around" You felt her hand slightly clench as she spoke her next words.

"I just... don't really like it."

Your heart ached.

Hard.

She felt bad as she watched your loving expression turn into a hurt but apologetic in mere seconds.

Not wanting to see you like that, she gently pushed your hand away as she sat up.

"But it's okay. It's okay if you have fun and we got to buy some good stuff too."

Don't mess this up, Violet

She told herself as she proceeded to get up feeling the need to go outside to calm her head.

"No!" You exclaimed as you grabbed her wrist, making her stop in her tracks.

Turning around, her heart dropped to her stomach when she saw your face.

You were angry. Angry at yourself for not having been more considerate and leaving her alone but you couldn't deny that you were also angry at her for trying to run away after she had just started to open up about her feelings.

You wanted her to feel comfortable enough to finally share her worries with you. You knew how difficult it is to open up while having to deal with the fear of being judged or possibly ruining something but at the same time, you were aware of the consequences of bottling it up and that would never end up good.

Glaring at her, you pulled her back.

"Sit." you demanded as you pointed towards the couch.

"O-Okay" She quickly obliged, not wanting to fuck it up further. It was rare seeing you angry and she would have never expected you to be angry at her since you had shown nothing but patience.

Except maybe that one time but that's another story to tell.

You made her take a seat next to you. Her eyes kept shifting away from your intense gaze and thankfully, you noticed that.

You put your hand on her cheek and made her look at you. Cupping her cheeks with both hands, you began to rub them.

Blinking, she got confused by your antics.

"W-What are you doing?" she managed to voice out but it only got muffled by you squishing her cheeks.

"I'm distracting you."

"You're what?"

Stopping, you put your index finger on ther forehead and poked it.

"Making you stop your thoughts. Your head. From thinking or just working in general."

She took your hand into hers to stop you from drilling a hole into her head.

"Why?" she asked as she furrowed her eyebrows at you.

Sighing, you pulled your hand away and scooted a bit to the side.

You patted your thighs.

"Head."

< What the fuck, can she stop being so confusing >

"Uhhh, those are your thighs?"

Snorting, you shook your head and put your hands on either side of her head.

"No, Violet. I want you to lie your head on my lap or to be specific, my thighs."

You were afraid of her eyes falling out from how much they bulged at your words.

Not to mention that her face literally exploded and honestly, so did her heart.

"I-I uh fuck."

You shot her a look.

"Okay, okay. I'll do it."

"Good." You chirped.

Slowly she layed her head onto your lap and made herself comfortable as she layed on her side.

She was sure that she had ascended to heaven.

< Fuck, they're soft. >

She was beginning to melt in your touch as you started to stroke her head, even slightly scratching her scalp.

She let out a shaky sigh, a warm feeling spreading in her chest.

"I'm sorry." Hearing your words snapped her back into reality as she turned to lay on her back.

"I-" Gulping, you looked anywhere else but her , having to sort your thoughts out and to know what to say next.

Suddenly you felt her finger gently graze your cheek making you look down at her.

"What are you sorry for, munchkin?" she asked while continuing to stroke your cheek.

Gazing at her loving steel blue eyes and her concerned expression, you let out a deep exhale.

"I'm sorry for always running off like that. There was just a lot good stuff to buy and so many things that would look good on you or we'd need for this apartment and more but that lead to you being left behind and that was really shitty of me. It must have been really stressful and scary for you whenever I would disappear. "

Somehow to your tough luck, your eyes started to glaze over.

" Oh, baby. " she gave you a soft smile as she put her rough hand onto your cheek. You instinctively leaned into her touch, yearning for her reassurance that she wasn't mad at you.

" Ssssshh, it's okay it's okay. Just... just hold onto my hand next time? So I won't have to go and search for you, of course." she said as she threw in a shy but sheepish smile at you.

Slipping out a weak chuckle, you took her hand that had been stroking your cheek and laced your fingers together.

" If that helps you then I will. I also wanted to say thank you for telling me and don't you dare run away as soon as you tell me about your worries."

Frowning at your words, her eyes began to shift away from your stern but loving gaze.

"I-I wasn't running away." she firmly stated as a frown had started to form on her face.

"Okay, let's say you weren't running away but you went away as soon as you told me about it and I wouldn't have been able to talk to you about it if I hadn't stopped you from leaving."

She could only stay silent as she clenched her hand, that had been previously comfortably on her stomach, into a fist.

You noticed it and slowly took her fisted hand into your free one. You gently pried her fist open and brought both of her hands onto your face making her shift her eyes back to you.

"What I wanted to say is, it's okay to tell me about your worries. You don't have to if you don't want to but I will always listen to what you say and that I'm here for you. You don't have to deal with this alone as long as you talk to me about it. I mean I can try to read it from your face but that's kinda difficult. " You tried to end it with a joke to lighten up the mood but realised you had failed as you saw her eyes start to glaze over.

"Oh my god, was my joke that terrible?"

She let out a laugh as she grasped your face, pulling you closer to her until your forehead touched hers.

"You're so cute, you know?" she smiled at you while stroking your cheek with her thumb.

Your face had become unsurprisingly hot and judging from her chuckle, she felt it too.

"D-Does that mean that it was good?"

"No, Y/N. It was terrible."

She nuzzled her nose against yours as you pouted at her words.

"But I'll forgive you since you're so cute, sweet cheeks"

You tried to playfully glare at her but couldn't as her warm breath hit your face and that damn sweet smile of hers was making you feel things.

Not to mention that her mouth is so close too

"You better do that and you'll also better tell me next time if something bothers or worries you, okay?"

"Okay" she nodded as she pulled your forehead towards her lips and planted a kiss on it.

You let out a shaky sigh, feeling everything you've discussed dawn on you more.

"I-I want a hug. This discussion made me feel kinda sad."

Chuckling as her lips lingered on your forehead, she answered. "Wasn't the kiss enough for you? Do you need more?" she teased.

Pulling away, you let your eyes linger on her face.

Only bashfully taking glances at her lips.

"Hmm, how about a k-kiss and a hug?" you whispered, feeling a bit shy.

"If you want."

"Yeah, I want to."

She pecked your forehead as she sat up next to you.

Leaning her back comfortably on the couch, she patted her lap and opened her arms.

Beckoning you to climb onto her lap with a smile and a nod, you crawled over to her.

She closed her arms around you as soon as she made sure you were comfortable and let chin rest on top of your head.

It had become some sort of habit for you to climb onto her lap whenever you would feel down. She was a bit nervous at first when you had first asked her for a hug but since the both of you were pretty touch starved, it didn't take long for it to be fundamental for the both of you. After a while it had progressed to you sitting on her lap. Forehead kisses were just something extra that had slipped in after some time but Vi wasn't sure if she'd be able to refrain herself any longer from kissing you for real.

But that would be a problem for another time. Right now, she was relishing in your warmth while you listened to the soothing sound of her beating heart.

Tracing your finger on her arm, you could feel her muscles through her hoodie.

"I haven't asked you what you wanted for dinner yet."

You heard her chest rumble as she let out a whispy laugh.

"Well, we could have some pizza again if you want?"

You let out a snicker at her suggestion.

"Didn't we have that yesterday?"

Your body shook slightly due to her shrugging

shoulders.

"It tastes good and I love it when you make it."

"Good thing we bought too much of that pizza dough last time."

"Oh yes, that's really good." She pecked your head and began to stroke your back.

"But the pizza can wait, so you can rest for a bit."

You tilted your head to look at her.

"What about you?"

"I'll rest as well. As you can see, I'm feeling pretty good right now" she replied to you as she put her hand onto the back of your head, shifting it to it's previous position and moved on to stroking your head.

You let out a dreamy sigh as you nuzzled your cheek against her chest.

"Then I'll do that but what about the grocery bags on the floor?"

You heard her let out a sigh as she tightened her arms around you.

"We can do that later but now you rest."

You let out a drowsy snicker.

"Okay, okay. Could you wake me up in 30 minutes?"

"I'll do that, cupcake so sleep well"

"Thank you, Vi."

You felt her soft lips press onto the top of your head.

"Anything for you, munchkin."

Were her last words before you let your eyes droop, burrying your face into her chest before drifting off to a short nap.

Taglist: @imdumbhi @chunkysuga @rezeluv @sleepless-addict @iloveallmenandwomen @primrose-x0x @artsandshadows @skullz-system @luvmeijii @icedcoffeedisaster @cutttteeee @imtallerthanyou @slut4jinx @iwillbiteabitch

#arcane #arcane fanfic #arcane league of legends #arcane series #arcane x reader #vi x reader #two worlds

187 notes · View notes

odetojeons · 3 years

Text

Until It Feels Like You’re In Heaven — Jeon Wonwoo

request: Hello do you still take requests? Your writing is amazingggg!! Thank you for existing 😭💕. Can i req a whipped dom!wonwoo x fem reader where he has a size kink and a smol gf please? I think that will be a cute concept 🥺

tags: fem and sub!reader, dom!wonwoo, size kink, tattoed and pierced jeon wonwoo just because, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (uh idk why but I never write sex with a condom help), established wonwoo x reader, a tiiiny bit of spitting kink, very light verbal humiliation, aftercare, this goes from fluff to horny really quickly, fluff if you squint (or not?), a frankly unrealistic amount of cum, OH AND, stomach bulge 🥴

a/n: so haha I am back? with more filth? I tried adding fluff (even tho I completely forgot that the person who made the request asked for whipped wonwoo, good thing this is always in my agenda every time I write so I didn't have any problems lmfao) but I'm too much of a horny bitch and a simp for this man so,, idk? tell me what you think later! I hope you all perish— I mean, like this!

Word Count: 7826

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ “Aren’t you going to help?” you question, lifting a brow at your boyfriend, who’s currently sitting in one of the chairs and supporting his chin with the palm of his hand, plate of onions that should be already cut laying untouched in front of him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Nope,” Wonwoo answers, giving you that kind of smile which makes you almost, almost feel less annoyed at the fact that you’ve been trying to reach something in the upper shelves for the last five minutes and he doesn’t move his ass to help you at all. “You’re just too cute trying to reach something.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s heat creeping up your neck, cheeks tinting red, and Wonwoo's smile gets bigger, shining and full of fondness. It leaves you stunned in silence for a while. It’s hard not to be in love with him. But it’s not like you try anyways.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“J-just hurry up, aren’t you hungry?” you cough, looking away solely because you can’t stand the warmness in Wonwoo’s face without feeling like you’re going to combust any time soon.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I am. I can help you out,” he states simply, but doesn’t make a move. You gesticulate with your hand, pointing at him and at the rice jar in the upper shelf. “But only if you say please, though.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I’m—” laughing incredulously, you roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest. “Would you please get the rice jar for me, sir?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo stares at you for a second too long, eyes a bit dark, and gets up to get the jar, without breaking eye contact. You instinctively make yourself smaller when his bigger and broader frame hovers over you, large enough to swallow your tiny body. The size difference has always been something you both feel incredibly turned on by.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So small,” he appreciates, always does, and your neck burns from the intensity of your blushing. “The cutest.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo puts the rice jar in your hands, the darkness in his face melting into a beam.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Here it goes, little girl,” he says, going back to his chair to complete the task which he has been doing for at least ten minutes now. The way he says little girl has you dumbfounded, heart hammering against your chest. “Are you just going to stand there? Do you like being called little that much?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shut up,” you admonish, blushing furiously as you turn on your back to continue what you were doing. You just hate how everything Wonwoo does affects you so much. You’re sure this must be bad for your health.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The two of you continue your journey through cooking and eating after you’re both done with the preparations. Things with Wonwoo are always so easy, everything feels natural and domestic and the bubbling feeling of happiness you feel whenever you’re with him lulls you to fall in love with him even deeper than before.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The way he teases you when you’re clumsy and spill sauce over yourself, but still cleans you up with the most fond smile ever, like you’re so completely adorable he can’t help himself. Or when you put more salt in the food than you should and you know it’s not that good, but he still compliments it and tells you he loves it so much, the sincerity in his eyes makes a surge of something pull at your lower stomach.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

If Jeon Wonwoo isn’t the love of your life, you don’t know who is.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

But right now you just want the ground to eat you alive and swallow you whole, because you’re standing right in front of the bed. The one bed. To which it suddenly doesn’t look big enough, not as you remember.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Well, it’s not like you have never shared a bed before, you have even had a shit ton of sex in this exact piece of mattress, but the thing is, it’s been a while since you last saw Wonwoo. His job required him to spend three months away, and this is the first time you came to his house ever since he came back two days ago.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You consider throwing yourself out of the window and into the dark, miserable night, thinks your poor heart will explode otherwise.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I’m not going to eat you.” Wonwoo’s voice carries over from the bathroom door, startling you into action. You jerk toward the bed, jumping on it and face flushing. You had showered before him, now dressed with one of his big shirts.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It fell all the way to your mid thigh, the size difference between the two of you making you almost drown on the fabric of his clothes. It smells nice, smells like Wonwoo, and your cheeks burn when he drinks the sight of you in with dark eyes, not even trying to hide.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Unless you want me to,” he adds, not helping your situation at all.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

BSHANDJAJSND?, your brain supplies.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Oh my god,” you admonish, yanking the blanket off the bed and just as you get in, your eyes hone in on the ink swirling up Wonwoo’s right biceps. You have seen the tattoo through the pictures he sent you before, the snake crawling up to his shoulder, head stopping at his right chest.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

This is, however, the first time you’ve seen the metal bar through one of Wonwoo’s nipples — to which you already knew the existence of, but looking in person is totally different —, heat winding in the pit of your belly as you realize the snake is looking right at that same nipple. Unfortunately for your poor heart, he’s wearing nothing but a pair of sweats, hanging low on his hips, slim waist on display.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo is… hot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s no other way to put it despite your best efforts. He looks like one of those Greek statues, rippling muscle and hand carved abs, the cut of his jaw too sharp to be real. Your mouth waters and you can’t look away.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And Wonwoo has been changing. He always had the thin type of body, being slim and tall, but in the end of last year he started exchanging the lazy hours he spent gaming with animated workouts at the gym — something about the way he was wasting his precious time of life and he could be acquiring knowledge and being healthy instead of sitting in front of a computer for hours —, and holy fuck if the result wasn’t quite the damn view.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You draw the blanket right up to your chin, back very purposefully to Wonwoo’s side of the bed as you’re still trying to stop the mild heart attack you have going on. You don’t want to see him climbing into bed for safety purposes but that doesn’t mean your heart rate doesn’t spike up when the bed dips. When Wonwoo settles down under the same blanket, your brain very enthusiastically — and meaningfully — points out that you’re only a few centimeters away and that there’s nothing separating you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

His abs flash behind your eyes and you nearly throw the blanket off, ready to storm out of the room and sleep on the sofa instead. You let out a breath you don’t even know you’re holding when Wonwoo flicks the flight off, the room disappearing into darkness, before he turns on the red leds from under his bed.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You feel warm all over with the fact that he still remembers you don’t like sleeping in complete darkness.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You try not to tense too much when he drapes an arm around your waist, locking you in. Your legs tangle together as he adjusts himself better, the other arm coming behind your head to serve as a pillow. Now you’re not only dying from the closeness but as well essentially drooling over the bulge of his thick biceps.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Congratulations universe for managing to make you even more desperate.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re not sure how long you just lie there, staring out the window, unable to fall asleep. Your brain doesn’t want to shut off, a blaring alarm of Jeon Wonwoo going off in your head.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I missed you so much,” Wonwoo says as if he read your thoughts, voice soft and filled with warmth, and you find yourself immediately melting in his arms despite your nervousness. “Thought I was going crazy without you, munchkin.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s a hard squeeze in your heart. You just love so much when he calls you that.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Missed you too,” you admit with a smile, the tip of Wonwoo’s nose dragging through your hair as he inhales the smell of his own shampoo. “Missed your smell.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Just my smell?” Wonwoo teases with a light tone, caressing his free hand on your inner thigh. It was supposed to be a feather-like gesture, but the closeness between the two of you made your body oversensitive, and you find yourself moaning softly as your skin rocks with a shiver.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo tenses immediately when he hears the sound, hand stuttering to a stop. There’s a beat of what you call the most painful silence you ever had — your mind swirls with the thought that you just ruined the mood, face heating up uncontrollably at your own neediness —, before his fingers sink into the flesh of your inner thigh, startling you with the strength behind his grip.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Answer me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You whine louder this time, the realization of his change of tone going from fond to an irrevocable order sinking wanton deep within your lower stomach. You try to close your legs, but Wonwoo’s leg stops you where it rests right in the middle of them, dangerously close to your throbbing core. You wonder if he could feel the heat emanating from it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“N-no,” you begin, voice already shaken up. Wonwoo’s breath caresses the helix of your ear, making goosebumps surge all over your skin. “Missed y-your bed too.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Is that so?” he hums, chest vibrating where it presses against your back. “What else, munchkin?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

��Missed—” your voice gets caught up in your throat when he licks your helix, teeth pulling the lobe of your ear. The soft drag of his lips all over that place is making your job difficult. “M-missed all of you, hmmm.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo hums again, pleased with your answer, and leans so close to you your body gets half pinned to the bed. This way his bigger frame completely engulfs your smaller one, the difference between your sizes getting even more overwhelming now that he’s bulked up.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And you’re not the only one affected by it, because as soon as Wonwoo realizes how he almost swallows you up in this position, he downright moans right by your ear.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So fucking small,” he tells you appreciatevely, voice one octave lower as his fingers presses on your inner thigh harder. “Missed touching you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s a shift in Wonwoo, his leg rising up between yours and stopping centimeters away from the heat of your cunt, and you can’t hold back the shiver, wants Wonwoo to press down there. When you attempt to slide Wonwoo’s hand up and off of you so then you could turn around, you’re met with a growl instead, Wonwoo bodily pinning you to the bed.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks, and it makes you feel like you’re a prey just ready to be caught by the big, bad wolf. You whine softly at that thought, hand coming to grab at Wonwoo’s wrist reflexively.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wonwoo,” is your answer, like that would explain everything. Wonwoo chuckles softly, embarrassment burning on your cheeks.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“When we called and I saw your face,” he says, barely above a whisper. “I wanted to fuck you so bad.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Suddenly, you can’t remember how to breathe, Wonwoo’s mouth on your neck, planting a soft kiss just under your ear. He nuzzles into the same spot, kisses lower and your heart shakes loud enough you think the neighbors might hear, hyperaware of every inch of your bodies touching.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I know I couldn’t, so I did it all from behind,” Wonwoo admits, sending your mind into a little haze. Of course he has been jerking off to the thought of you, but hearing him say it out loud has your panties getting soaked. “Sticking my dick in…”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo hasn’t stopped nuzzling you, in some kind of daze as he inhales your scent. There’s a hand on your hip now, holding you down, liquid heat pooling in your belly, spreading outward.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“…and fucking you mercilessly…” he continues, voice getting deeper and rougher with each word, his breath labored. “…and watching you cum endlessly… I thought I would be fine just imagining it.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“W-Won—” you start, breathless, the sound of your own voice sounding so airy leaving you embarrassed. But then finally, finally he presses his thigh into your core, your hips immediately going down to rut hard against the muscle.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fucking drenched,” Wonwoo snarls lowly when he feels the wetness of your soaked panties dirtying the fabric of his sweatpants.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The sound makes you writhe on the bed, fists balling in the mattress.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“But seeing you, so small…” the trace of Wonwoo’s hand in your skin is light, almost like a gentle whisper as it makes a burning path up, up, up until it stops by your neck, fingers closing softly around your throat. “Makes me want to rail you, carve the shape of my big cock inside your walls.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s teeth sink into the skin just at the base of your neck. It’s hardly a bite, you know he could leave worse, but then Wonwoo laps at it afterwards, tender, surrenders you into moving your hips obscenely on his thigh. The way he says, knows his cock is big has heat licking your insides, and if it were anyone else saying the same thing you would be cringed, but there’s just something special about Jeon Wonwoo doing this that makes him look like the hottest man alive.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re addicting,” Wonwoo admits with a growl, the feeling of his touch turning possessive as he helps you ride his thigh better by a hand on your waist. “Once I get a taste I can’t stop myself from wanting more. Wanna have my way with you until you’re all mine.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Need seeps through your bones, body trembling as you try to scatter the air it has been knocked out of your lungs when Wonwoo fits his cock in the curve of your ass.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-you’re hard,” you comment, as if it’s not obvious, but it has been so long since the last time you felt his bulge pressing against you that it makes you desperate. “You’re so hard.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Who’s fault do you think it is?” Wonwoo questions, groaning when you sway your hips from side to side on his cock.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Can we…” you trail off, hiding your face in the pillow. “Y-you know?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Nope, you gotta be more specific,” he says with a teasing smile, and you smack him in the arm. Wonwoo laughs before his voice gets serious. “Say it.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

This switch of him turning on and off between a sweet boyfriend to the man who doms you never fails to give you a whiplash.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Can we— Can w-we fuck?” you ask shyly, wanting the ground to swallow you whole. You have no idea why you are being this shy.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hmm, it depends,” Wonwoo hums like he’s considering the options. You turn to look at him, mortified, but he only laughs at your indignation. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You blush furiously at the question, face turning to look away as you mumble a yes, but then Wonwoo’s grabbing at your jaw and yanking your head back in place until you’re staring right in the deepness of his eyes, the intensity of them stunting you into complete silence.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he orders, leaving no room for arguments, and you nod your head quickly at that. “Out loud.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-yes,” you hurry to obey, watching satisfaction curl all over his face. “‘M always a good girl.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I don’t think so, munchkin,” Wonwoo grins, wicked and teasing, and you brace yourself for whatever is going to happen this night. “Sometimes you’re so desperate and impatient you can’t even wait for me before fucking yourself with those plastic toys of yours.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wonwoo,” and you’re unable to look away even when shame burns all over your body. “H-how did you—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“How did I know?” your sentence morphs into a moan when Wonwoo presses his thigh so hard against you cunt it has your body jumping a little. “You think I wouldn’t feel how you’re more loose when I fucked you? You think I don’t notice the way you look at me?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo is mercilessly dragging your hips up and down his leg, your whines sounding high and sweet in your own ears.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re oblivious even to yourself,” he tells you, tone rough as he ruts against your ass. Your heart lurches in your chest, Wonwoo’s words like a hot coal in the pit of your belly, erupting into flames. You want to squeeze your eyes shut, cunt pulsing with arousal. “Even today, the way you were staring at me…”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

But then, Wonwoo’s touch is gone. His hands leave your hips, thigh frees you from the pressure, and the warmth seems so far now. You turn, complaint already at the tip of your tongue, but Wonwoo’s faster, rougher as he manhandles you on your back and hovers over your body, caging you in with his arms.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You looked like a prey who has just been caught into the wolf’s den,” he smiles at you, wicked and cruel as he grabs your jaw and pushes your head back. “Like you wanted me to break you in until it feels like you’re in heaven.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s a breath against your bare neck, his groan hitting your skin when he bites it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Or eat you up until there’s nothing left in you that doesn’t belong to me,” you’re definitely not expecting the moan that escapes Wonwoo’s mouth, so affected and deep it’s got all the hairs in your nape standing up, every fiber of your body telling you to submit. “Fuck, and it turns me on so much.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You make a sound out of neediness, hands reaching for Wonwoo. He goes easily, body pressing into yours as he crashes your lips together. Wonwoo kisses you like he wants to conquer you, licking into the seam of your mouth and teeth scraping at your bottom lip just so he could soothe the pain later with his tongue. Your head spins with the intensity of it, it’s messy and there’s too much spit and teeth, but that only makes it even more addicting.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

But Wonwoo doesn’t kiss you enough today. He almost never does when he’s feeling like that — possessive, mean, wicked even, when he needs you to know your damn place —, wants to ebb the pleasure away when you’re starting to get hotter until it’s replaced by pure desperation and you can’t do anything else other than beg for him to give in to you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

So that’s what you do, staring up at his eyes trained on you as if you’re a prey.⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Please,” you start, voice caught into a moan when Wonwoo’s fingers sink into your jaw and his mouth falls ajar, like the sound of you saying this particular word gives a physical stroke to his cock. “P-please, fuck me. Wanna— Wanna belong t-to you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And that’s enough. That’s enough, that’s enough, Wonwoo wants, you want, and he’ll give that to you since he has always been a weak man for your begging. There’s a fraction of seconds that he thinks he might pass out with all the blood rushing from his head to his other head, cock throbbing in his sweatpants.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Don’t know how so much eagerness fits into this little body of yours,” Wonwoo murmurs against your mouth, his hand squeezing your face. You find yourself parting your mouth open, whining, pliant and overwhelmed as Wonwoo slips his tongue in again, kissing you filthy. The scent of his familiar cologne is so sharp, surrounding you and leaving your mind dazed until all you can think is Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo. When he pulls back this time, Wonwoo pushes his thumb into your mouth, eyes half-lidded as he watches you swirl your tongue around it, sucking it further into your mouth.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You moan around it, watching Wonwoo’s every reaction, the way his breath hitches, shoulders tensing. There’s a shift on the bed, Wonwoo moving up and up and up and you can’t breathe because now the bulge pressing against the fabric of his clothes is standing proudly right in front of your face, Wonwoo almost straddling your chest. You let the realization that he’s going to fuck your mouth sink deep within your core, and try not to show how deeply affected you are by the idea.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You fail, of course, hips lifting off of the bed and falling down again, biting around the finger inside of your mouth that keeps you from taking a better look in the place you are dying to see.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“That desperate to suck me off, baby?” Wonwoo asks, and you flush, hate how you love the humiliated burn, how it makes you wetter. You’re too embarrassed to throw something back at Wonwoo, gaze dropping to his erect cock the best you can. He pushes your head back up, making you look at him instead. “Do you wanna see it?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I do,” you reply, a little too fast for your own good, and it only serves for Wonwoo to laugh at your neediness. You debate if you’re as red as you think you are, the burn in your cheeks spreading all the way down to your neck.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?” Wonwoo’s tone is almost condescending, still playful, like he doesn’t think you can even handle the sight of his cock, and you like how it makes your cunt twitch and ache. It’s as if you enjoy the belittlement, enjoy the way Wonwoo wants you to prove yourself.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I’m,” you start, swallowing, “I’m ready.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s smile is a touch dark, nearly a sneer, but his hand leaves your mouth to hook a thumb in the waistband of his pants. You nearly drool. He pulls on the fabric until his cock is free, slapping against your left cheek and smearing precum on your face. Your head spins, realising that even this part of Wonwoo’s body seemed to have grown bigger. Maybe it’s your imagination, haven’t actually seen it in real life for the past three months, but the thickness is intimidating.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The best intimidating possible.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your heart thuds in your chest, unable to look away from his cock. There’s spit collecting on your tongue, embarrassment fighting against your desire to please. Leaning forward, you suckle the tip into your mouth, making a pleased sound when you taste the salty tang of precum.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo leans back a bit, wanting to assess your face better, and the taut lines of his body contorts in an even hotter way with the new position. You moan again, staring at the piercing in Wonwoo’s nipple and the head of the inked snake looking at it, and sucks on the head, tongue pushing along the underside. Your body throbs with your own heated desire.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You wrap a hand around the base, gut twisting hotly when you realise you can’t even get your fingers all the way around — no matter how many times you notice this, they all make you feel equally needy. And you’re not the only one affected by it, Wonwoo’s hips kicking forward and cock thrusting inside of your mouth, the growl he lets out going straight to your core.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck,” he says, breath audible enough to echo inside the room. “I will ruin you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The confession has your body arching for a few seconds, sucking hard on the tip of Wonwoo’s cock until he’s moaning at the feeling. He takes a fistful of your hair, but you push against the hold so you could take more of it into your mouth.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Quit it,” Wonwoo demands, your displeased whine making his hold grow firmer. “Do as you’re told or you might not get my cock at all tonight.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He pulls you off, your pants loud and labored.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Did I make myself clear?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yes, sir,” you add just for the teasing — but mostly because you want Wonwoo to punish you for making him lose his beloved control —, feeling pleased as you watch the clear change of expressions going on in Wonwoo’s face. His eyes darken impossibly more, eyebrows frowning and then there’s a hand on your neck.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your mouth goes dry as soon as his fingers close around your throat, body writhing and mind going into submission mode.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Filthy little slut,” Wonwoo snarls, face suddenly close, and then he’s spitting into your open mouth and you feel like you will come very soon. You flinch, eyes shutting on reflex, and then moan. “Want me to punish you, don’t you?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You don’t say anything, can’t say anything, but you hope the look in your eyes answers his question. It probably does, because there’s a tiny little smirk playing on the edge of Wonwoo’s lips before he kisses you, softer than you could ever imagine he would be in this moment.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I love you,” he breathes, the sudden confession making a different kind of burn itch your throat. You know very well that when Wonwoo tells you that I’m the middle of sex then it’s because this will be a passionate fucking. One of those that he keeps your body so close you think you might become one with him, one of those he kisses you so gently one moment only to treat you roughly in the other, one of those he wants to make you fall apart, crumble and cry and even so, it will be full of love and care and sweetness. “I love you so much.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo doesn’t wait for your answer. Doesn’t need to, he knows your heart belongs to him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Say ah for me, sweetheart,” Wonwoo instructs and you obey, mouth hanging open, tongue out. Wonwoo slaps his cock against it, precum dirtying your tongue as the slap slap slap of his cock hitting your mouth fills the heavy air of the room. He even traces the tip over your upper lip, smearing precum along your cheek when he slaps your face with it before placing his cock right back on your waiting tongue. “Put this mouth to better use.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You do, eager to do as you’re told after Wonwoo’s confession, blood singing from his praise and his disparagement alike. You sink down onto it as far as you can take it, nearly gagging when it hits the back of your throat. Wonwoo drowns out a broken “fuck” above you, stroking your cheek and moving further in the bed to lessen the awkward twist of your neck.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You look so good with my cock in your mouth,” Wonwoo breathes, voice strained as you suck him off, head bobbing. He brushes your hair back, little groans and growls escaping him every time his cock hits the back of your throat, you swallowing around it, or when you speed up, fucking your mouth on Wonwoo’s length. “Such a pretty little cocksucker, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You blush, heart hammering in your chest with the compliment, but he closes a fist in your hair and makes you stop all movements.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Gonna fuck your mouth,” Wonwoo starts, holding your wrist with his free hand and putting your fingers above his thigh. You know that it means if you want me to stop, tap twice, and it makes heat coil in your belly. “until you gag.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You moan a bit uncontrollably around his cock, legs kicking in the bed at the affirmation, and Wonwoo is staring at you with a look you can’t quite describe. It makes you ashamed of being so eager but at the same time proud of being his little cockslut.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo holds you in place, hips bucking into your mouth. He goes slow at first, wanting you to get used with the feeling because it has been a while since the last time you sucked him off. It is short lived, as soon as you look up at him and nod — the best you could with your movements being kind of restricted —, his thrusts turn sharp and fast, your jaw aching from how long you had Wonwoo’s fat cock in your mouth.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You moan, one of your hands still working up and down along Wonwoo’s shaft as he fucks into you, tears beginning to prickle at the corners of your eyes. He falls a bit forward when you start gagging a little, throat convulsing around his thickness, and he sprawls his fingers in the wall for support.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck fuck fuck, shit,” Wonwoo breathes, voice gravelly, his grip in your hair getting tighter and tighter. Tingles spark down your spine, wetness pouring out of you and soaking your panties even more and you want so desperately to come, to be fucked, but you want to please him first.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s thrusts begin to turn erratic as he fucks your mouth, a growl erupting out of him on a particularly hard thrust, and then he’s pulling away. You look at him, mind in a haze, but still dumbfounded. His breath is labored and he looks like he’s having a hard time keeping together, hips thrusting into the air. It boosts your ego to see him this messed up because of you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Did so well for me, sweetheart,” Wonwoo tells you, voice strained from effort but still full of fondness, and you feel butterflies dancing in your stomach at the praise. It seems like he wants his orgasm to ebb away. At the look you’re giving him, he adds: “Wanna cum with you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You mewl at the thought, watching him position himself between your legs again and kissing you slowly. Wonwoo caresses your cheek with a gentle thumb, other hand tracing a feather-like path down your body. His fingers brush against your nipple, the whine you let out being swallowed by Wonwoo’s greedy mouth, and he sneaks his hand under your shirt just as his kisses fly to your neck.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And then Wonwoo’s sucking. Hard.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It caughts you off guard, hips lifting off of the bed and thigh pressing tightly against Wonwoo’s cock, his groan being muffled by your skin. He bites, suckles and kisses the particular spot underneath your jaw, so far up your neck you won’t be able to hide it, especially because it’s summer. And you feel warm all over, how he always remembers exactly your pleasure point, the place that has your head spinning with pleasure.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your hands fly to his hair, cunt throbbing with need when he tongues at the purple hickey, and it’s throbbing, pulsating with how hard he sucked. It leaves you breathless, not having time to recover when Wonwoo pulls your shirt up until he can get one nipple into his mouth.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wonwon, fuck,” you whimper, body oversensitive with all that has been going on, and Wonwoo growls at the nickname, hand coming to pinch your other nipple like he’s telling you how much this affects him. “Please—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo bites at it, tongue coming to soothe the pain later, and you’re sure the grip you have on his hair must be painful, but he says nothing; only looks more intent on making you moan. Wonwoo busies himself with sucking hickeys all over the place as one of his hands continues to descend down your body, thumb pressing in a spot by your hips that has your back arching and a desperate whine being pulled out of you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Down and down, his fingers then slips inside your penties, brushing across your clit so lightly that it has your whole body rocking with shivers.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

But then, Wonwoo’s body goes completely still. You feel him tensing under your palms, heat already flooding your face when you know he feels it, feels the way you’re already stretched open for him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You—” he starts but stops himself, pushing a finger inside for great measure. Wonwoo growls when he meets almost no resistance, face lifting from where it rests on your chest to look at you. “When?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The intensity of his voice leaves your mouth dry.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“E-earlier, in the— in the s-shower,” you confess, voice quiet, and you can’t look away, Wonwoo’s eyes pinning you to your spot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hah,” he states simply, a sound of pleasant surprise, and adds another finger inside. Wonwoo pushes them to the hilt, until his knuckles brush your pelvis. You moan, head thrown back at the sudden, but welcomed intrusion. “Acting all nervous around me but this is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He gyrates his hand, pushing hard and without mercy, right before he adds another finger, this time more slowly. It burns a little, his fingers way bigger than yours, but you love the slight pain.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Did you come into my house knowing I would fuck you?” Wonwoo asks, knows the answers but does it anyway. He moves his hand a little, waiting for your to be more comfortable with the sensation of his fingers, but as soon as your frown turns upside down, Wonwoo has no restrains whatsoever, fucking into you fast and sharp. “Fingered yourself knowing that I would split you open on my big cock?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You can’t even think straight, hips rising off of the bed, but Wonwoo holds your waist with his free hand and pins them down hard. Your upper body lifts with this, back arching and legs kicking everywhere as you can’t stop the loud moans slipping through your lips, doesn’t even care about the neighbors as your nails sink into Wonwoo’s back to the point it might leave tiny crescent moons all over it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Did you come back then?” Wonwoo continues, pace unforgiving even when tears well up into your eyes. He trusts you to use your safeword if needed as much as you trust him to use his. “Did you?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You struggle to answer, voice being surrendered to moans and whines and whimpers and it’s hard to focus when he’s hitting your sweet spot with the tip of his fingers.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Ah! Ah, hmmm, f-fuck, please Won— Wonwon,” you try, can’t even understand how you still manage to get red when you realise Wonwoo is looking at you with so much desire. The point you both most like about your relationship is that Wonwoo is the dom, but he knows you have him in the palm of your tiny hands. “I, ah, d-din’t. Di— Didn’t want to, fuck, please— c-come without you—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo pulls his fingers out at that, your cunt clenching around nothing as he goes lighting fast to take both of your clothes off, grab your waist and flip you on your stomach just as he reaches for the nightstand to grab what you know very well it’s a bottle of lube. He pulls your hips up until you’re face down, ass up on the bed, the hurry in all of this only sending desperation all over your body, and the sound of the cap being opened has butterflies in your stomach.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah? Fuck,” Wonwoo sounds a mess, fingers hurrying to close a fist on his cock and jerk it off furiously to spread the lube better, the wet head nudging against your rim. “Fuck, shit, I wanna fuck you so bad.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Do it,” you beg. “Please.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And who is he to deny what you want?

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo pushes inside you slowly despite his hunger, knows he’s big and there’s an alarming size difference between the both of you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your hands clench into fists and it feels like you’re being impaled onto Wonwoo’s cock, going deeper than any cock you ever taken before. Tears cling to your lashes as a small jolt of pain runs up your spine, the lube easing Wonwoo’s way in. Overall you’re proud of yourself, haven taken him before, more times than you can count, and you accommodate his cock like a pro.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your chest heaves, no amount of air feels like enough as Wonwoo’s cock all but punches everything out of you. You’re biting at the pillow by the time the last of it pushes into you, a haze surrounding your mind because it feels so good.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s groan transforms into a moan once he’s buried all the way into you, hips flush against your ass and spreading you open so wide and so deep, you would think you might break if you didn’t know any better. You gasp, back arching downward as you take your time to adjust to the large intrusion.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo kisses your shoulder tenderly, waiting for you to grow used to the feeling. He can be rough when it comes to bed, but he always is mindful of you no matter how impatient and desperate he is. There’s this soft feeling going on inside you, mixing with your pleasure and it only serves to make you more needy.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo doesn’t move for a while, hot breath falling against your neck as he stands behind you. You feel surrounded — his scent everywhere, the pulse of the hickeys he carved on your skin, the press of his long fingers on your waist —, your submission for Wonwoo’s eyes only.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You nod at him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

A lick at your neck is all the warning you get before Wonwoo pulls out so very slowly, cock dragging against your walls and rim. It feels like forever, you whining at the sensation, and then you’re being slammed back into.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Ah!” you gasp, eyes blurry as you struggle for air. You moan as Wonwoo drags himself back out again, and thrusts right back in and groans at the feeling. “Y-yes—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So good,” Wonwoo growls, close to inhumane as he continues with that pace. “So fucking good.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Eventually, Wonwoo doesn’t seem to be able to go slow anymore, thrusts turning sharper and harder, his pace unrelenting. You find yourself almost screaming through it, so overwhelmed by the size of him — a good overwhelmed, the best overwhelmed —, but the way you feel so full and the exponential pleasure leaves you numb to any other thought.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo, your mind seems to chant, fucked open mercilessly by your boyfriend.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Taking cock like a pro, aren’t you, sweetheart?” Wonwoo says, stops for a second, adjusts his hips, and then slams back right into your sweet spot, like he knows where it is by heart. Your body lurches forward, bed slamming against the wall. Hands reaching to hold onto something, you scramble against the sheats until one of them fists it and the other holds the pillow for dear life. “You’re gonna wake the whole hall, screaming like that.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You have enough of a decency to feel ashamed about it, but it’s not like neither of you actually care. If anything, Wonwoo fucks you harder, hips jamming inside you until your throat hurts from all the noises you’re making.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Please, p-please— I wanna— I h-have to— Fuck, ah!” you’re not even sure about what you’re begging for, Wonwoo pulling your hips to meet his thrusts half way. You love this, feeling like a ragdoll, being thrown around and only able to take what he gives to you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Good little girl,” Wonwoo croons, his voice rough. Your skin glistens with sweat, the shimmering red light reflecting on it. “Looking so beautiful taking my cock.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re not sure what compels you after he says that but you reach down, hand smoothing down your abdomen because you feel like Wonwoo is spearing you open. But you go completely tense, squeezing Wonwoo so hard he stutters with a moan, because under your palm there is the outline of his cock protruding against your lower belly. The feeling makes you so overwhelmed that you can’t hold it in, whithe pleasure flooding you as you end up coming, eyes rolling to the back of your head and you’re crying all the way through it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re coming?” Wonwoo deadpans, sounding surprised and angry at the same time. “Holy shit, you’re coming untouched and without my permission? What were you think—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Wonwoo’s complaint immediately dies down when you bring a trembling hand to grab his wrist and put his fingers in the cause of your orgasm. There’s a beat of silence, the both of you completely still, and then Wonwoo is growling the most animalistic growl you ever heard him do, the sheer intensity of it rocking all the way to your bones. He presses his hips so tightly into yours it has you sobbing.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck,” it’s all he says, tone two octaves lower and sounding dangerous, doesn’t even have it in him to punish you. “Fuck.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It’s like the caged beast he keeps so carefully locked deep within himself started to surface. Wonwoo pushes your head down on the mattress, the other hand still on your belly. He pulls out until the tip and then slams back inside, as hard as he can, and you downright scream at the feeling, the oversensitiviness adding up to your pleasure.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s another few seconds of silence, and then Wonwoo is fucking you brutally. His moans echo through the room, so completely desperate that it has you wailing, sobbing, crying desperate pleas for more.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Look at that,” Wonwoo says, hand pressing harder against the bulge in your stomach. “Pushed my big cock into you until your insides were forced to make room for it.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He grabs your arm and yanks you up, your back pressing against his chest and an arm circling around your waist. The other comes up to squeeze your left breast as you practically sit on his thighs. You moan at the feeling of his pierced nipple dragging against your skin every time he fucks up into you, your body only held in place because of the firm grip Wonwoo has on you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Sobbing, you feel like you’re losing yourself in the sensations, Wonwoo’s cock pounding into your cunt and his voice by your ear and the burn of his hips hitting your ass — by now it must be all red, the marks probably going to linger for some time. You can’t hold yourself together anymore, mouth open and drooling, tears clinging to your lashes, staccato moans falling from your lips that break on every thrust. You’re limp against Wonwoo, can’t even fuck back, letting him have his way with you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Drooling all over yourself for my cock,” Wonwoo says, fucks in deep against your sweet spot and mouths at the side of your neck. “Because of me, right? Tell me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-you— yours, yours, please,” your head falls back on his shoulder, hand pressing tightly in the shape of his cock in your stomach, and at this point you don’t even know what you’re doing anymore.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I’ve broken you in, fuck.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And he did, really. He has broken you in, has you crying on his cock.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You belong to who?” Wonwoo pressed his hips flush on your ass, grinds hard enough for your body to be sent forward. A short few seconds so you can take a breath — or at least try to. “Hm? Who’s fucking you this good?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“W-Wonwoo, Wonwon, you, please,” you cry out as he starts to fuck you mercilessly again, the brutal pace punching moans out of you. “Ah, ah, ah, p-please, haaah, I’m y-yours— yours, b-belong to, hmmm, to you only, please!”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah,” Wonwoo echoes, thrusts turning erratic and groans morphing into moans. “Mine.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I can’t — I’m g-gonna—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Come for me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And it’s enough for you. Your muscles tense, toes curling as hot, white pleasure surges through your body and floods you until you fall limp on the bed, hips only up because Wonwoo is holding them tightly. You clench around his cock involuntarily, his groan muffled by your hair and he’s coming, Wonwoo’s cock twitching inside you as thick spurts of come fill you to the brim. They seem to be endless, his spunk filling you up until it’s dripping out and down your thighs.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You don’t remember much of what happens later. Your mind spins and then you fall into a most needed slumber.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You wake up a bit disoriented, having no idea how much has passed since you fell asleep, but you realise you’re all cleaned up and dressed, head resting in Wonwoo’s — thankfully, for the sake of your precious pussy — clothed chest as he uses his cellphone. He smells clean too, hair still a little bit wet, and you smile thinking that the shower you both took before going to bed was useless.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re up?” comes Wonwoo’s question when he feels your lips moving against him, placing his phone somewhere on the bed and circling his arms around you. You move your head, looking up at him with fondness.⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hey, baby,” you breathe out, reaching to peck him in the lips once. He smiles, that kind of smile that leaves you breathless with love.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hey, my love,” Wonwoo laughs when you blush at the pet name. It’s so sweet and endearing, you always feel warm whenever he says it. “I see you still get all red when I call you that.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shut up,” you swat at his arm, Wonwoo’s following laugh sounding like the best music you ever heard. “How much did I sleep?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Not much,” he presses you tighter against him. “I think one hour? Something like that.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Thanks for taking care of me,” you say, legs tangling with his and the smile never leaving your lips.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Of course, my love. Always will take care of you,” Wonwoo nuzzles your hair and inhales. “Got kind of surprised that I managed to fuck you into unconsciousness.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wonwoo,” you mortify with a laugh, hitting his chest, but he only giggles at you. He giggles. Your heart might explode soon.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“What? Can’t I be happy that I pleasured my tiny girlfriend the way she deserves to?” Wonwoo says, and it sounds like a joke, but when you look up at him again to make a retort, the reverence in his eyes surrenders you speechless.⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He stares at you with so much admiration and love, like you’re the most beautiful thing ever.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I love you,” you say instead, cheeks hurting from the way you’re smiling, and Wonwoo seems to be caught off guard because he’s blushing. Wonwoo’s blushing. He’s so cute you want to die.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shut up and go back to sleep,” he coughs, pushing your head against his chest and you laugh at this shyness. “I love you too.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Yes. The warmness of his hands, the beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest, the love in his eyes, the sweetness of his words — you missed everything about Jeon Wonwoo.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

3K notes · View notes

1kook · 3 years

Text

skirt chasers — drabble iv

THIS IS A SKIRT CHASERS DRABBLE - FIND THE OTHERS HERE ! SUMMARY Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him. WARNINGS JK POV!!!, attempted solo masturbation, k*ssing, jk’s extensive knowledge of pornos, grinding, cunnilingus, face sitting, spit kink, light choking, praise kink, self nipple play, a love for boobies, unprotected sex, use of the pull out method, i love u kink, its kinda hinted tht oc has a somnophilia kink? not rlly but tagging just in case -_- RATING m (18+) WC 6.3k this can't even classified as a drabble anymore wtf

NOTES i have had this in my drafts since may 3. it is december 21. everyone point n laugh. anyway i very much love stimbo sc jk and i think he’s very cool so here’s a whopping 6k of the inner mechanisms of his big nerdy, college hottie brain <3

He doesn’t notice you’ve drifted off until he’s three solid paragraphs into his semester-long research paper. “Babe, can you toss me my charger it’s over…”

Jungkook swears he’s gonna take every single one of those stupid skirts and burn them to ashes. They had done their duty well, had given him the girlfriend of his dreams, but now they were just pushing their luck. What was once the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend, has now become the bane of Jungkook’s existence. He loathed them, he hated them, he could go twenty million decades without ever seeing them again because the torture they inflicted upon him was borderline inhumane.

Holy fuck, he knew you were gorgeous— hello, he was your boyfriend, thinking you were gorgeous was very high on the list of requirements you searched for in someone of his position —but he’s absolutely positive that you’re probably the sexiest woman he’s ever seen in all his twenty-two years. And Jungkook’s seen a lot of porn. Like, a lot.

He can’t help himself. Before Jungkook knows it, he’s rolling his desk chair over to where you’re sprawled across his bed, skin so soft where it presses against his pillow, lips so plush, and he’s pretty sure there’s a tiny, tiny droplet of drool begging to escape from between your puckered lips. Normally, he’d tease you to hell and back for this, knows how flustered you become when he catches you off guard, but today he lets it slide in favor of focusing on something else about your dozing form.

It’s the soft curve of your hips from where you lay on your side, smooth legs tucked close to you, and that goddamn pleated skirt giving you absolutely no protection from the eyes of the world around you. Luckily, he made sure to lock the door to his room when you came over today. And he’s almost positive Taehyung isn’t home anyway. So there’s no potential roommate to see you here, cuddled against Jungkook’s teddy bear, blue lace panties tucked between your folds.

They were his favorite.

Adorable and soft, and he knows that particular style— the cheeky kind —is your preferred style, because it’s the one he sees almost every time the two of you fuck. Seamless, because you hate when they tug against your skin, and baby blue simply because it was your favorite color. He can’t recall the last time they had been so exposed like this.

God, how many times had this same situation occurred? You dropping by to encourage him to do his homework, before eventually falling asleep and leaving him to his own devices. A lot of times, Jungkook guesses, because each and every time you wake up and nab one of his protein bars from the stash by his bed. Jungkook’s gone through four boxes in the last month.

But how many times had this happened with you in a skirt? Never. This was a rarity.

As the year progressed and yours and Jungkook’s relationship reached new levels of intimacy and adoration, Jungkook is sad to say the skirts had begun appearing less and less. It was winter and, unlike the furnace that was Jungkook’s body, he’s pretty sure you were a cold-blooded reptilian at this point, always leeching off of him for warmth. So since you couldn’t stand the cold, the skirts slowly faded into the background, replaced by Jungkook’s second favorite: the leggings.

He was no complainer, Jungkook respected your decisions! He wasn’t going to pressure you into wearing those cute tiny skirts he loved so much just because it fueled some PornHub-esque fantasy in his brain, especially not as a harsh winter descended upon you and the days became colder. He would not risk a sick girlfriend in the name of a horndog daydream.

But holy mother of pearl, Jungkook was a man. A skirt chaser. He could only withstand so much torture before he broke, and seeing your gorgeous, smooth legs on display after so many weeks of starvation awoke an ancient being inside of him.

Sure he’d seen them every time you guys fucked— duh. But this was not the same. It was different, seeing the tender skin of your inner thigh when he knew you weren’t trying to, your skirt stuck between you and the bed as you shifted about. It was different, knowing he could so easily have you, just flip up the skirt and tug your underwear to the side, not having to worry about fighting your leggings or skinny jeans down your legs. It was different and it was good, so painstakingly good, to have you in the skirt, but the worst part was Jungkook couldn’t even do anything because you were fucking sleeping.

He’d subconsciously pictured you like this for weeks, sprawled out on his sheets in the flimsiest clothing and ready for him to just slide right in, but Jungkook was a good boy—you’d told him as much just last week when he’d paid the bus fare for that ragtag group of teenagers, smiling up at him like he was your entire world. Was he sometimes a little too mean, a little too wild? Yes. But at his core, Jungkook lived for your praise. He couldn’t just stomp on that title you’d so lovingly bestowed upon him, a title he’d worked hard for since!

Furthermore, even if Jungkook wasn’t a good boy, to touch you in your sleep just seemed wrong. You’d mentioned in passing once that you wouldn’t mind as long as it was him (“I’m yours,” you had purred at some party, hand crawling down his abdomen, “your doll, remember?”), but Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to when you were so vulnerable and just… not there. It wouldn’t feel right to use your body when you weren’t awake, and no amount of encouragement from you would change his mind.

So he does what all good boys do and prepares himself for a quick, self-administered handfuck.

Sue him, his girlfriend was hot!

It’d been a little over two weeks since the last time the two of you had fucked, and it was mostly his fault; clinicals and research papers had practically consumed what little free time he had in his schedule. And if Jungkook remembers correctly, he wouldn’t be that lucky this upcoming week either. Something tells him your period was approaching.

Jungkook doesn’t know what type of sorcery you’ve done to him, but in the time you’ve been dating, it’s become increasingly more and more difficult to nut without you. Whether that be fucking you, listening to your voice, or just imagining your pretty face in his head, you held a monopoly over Jungkook’s libido, one that he feared you’d never let go.

He had years stacked on years of browsing PornHub and Brazzers, can recall experiencing some of the craziest orgasms of his life while watching some girl get fucked. All things come to an end. Ever since he started dating you, not even his favorite video could make him hard anymore. Oh, how the great have fallen.

But with your blue panties before him, his cock hardens by the minute, nearly doubles in size when you move about and sigh a heavenly sound. Frankly, he doesn’t feel bad jerking one off to the thought of you. You were his girlfriend! He knows that you know that you’re the main character of all his right-handed adventures, and you’re not going to be mad at him for jerking off to you now. In fact, Jungkook imagines you’d be mad if he’d woken you up just for some frenzied quickie. This way, he’s blowing off some steam and you’re getting an extra ten minutes of napping. Everyone wins.

He’s barely tugged himself out of the confines of his sweats when a soft mumble of his name has his soul leaving his body. “Kook?”

“Baby,” he exhales, immediately tucking himself back into his underwear before moving closer towards you. You roll onto your back, skirt useless as fuck, he thinks, as it sprawls around your waist. “What’s up?” he murmurs, voice gentle, a hand carding through the nape of your neck because that’s how you always wake him up. Jungkook would be a liar to say it wasn’t one of the best feelings in the world.

You say something, but it’s a mess of gibberish and too quiet for him to understand, before turning on your side again and shuffling closer to him. Jungkook smiles, runs the tips of his fingers over your cheek, before moving to caress your back, massaging some feeling back into your muscles. Some more mumbled words, but this time he deciphers them as something along the lines of “c’mere.”

He chuckles, ducking down to kiss your cheek. “Don’t wanna interrupt your nap, baby,” he hums. “Go back to sleep.”

You whine in protest, suddenly catching his hand in yours. “Please,” you sigh, eyes fluttering open, but they’re unfocused as you gaze at him. Jungkook clenches his teeth. Technically he should be working on that twelve page research paper, and even just trying to jerk off right now would have been a huge setback. Crawling into bed with you, where you’re so sinfully laid out for him to take, would completely offset his plans until tomorrow. He had to be a responsible student here.

“I really gotta finish my paper…” he says, trying to let you down as gently as possible, flashing you an apologetic gaze. He thinks he has it in the bag, and your extended silence almost has him rolling back to his desk, when you suddenly snap into action.

“But what about your dick,” you murmur, and Jungkook chokes.

“My what—?” he splutters, voice a little too high.

You say nothing, craning your neck to release a series of cracks, soft huffs leaving your lips. Jungkook’s on edge the whole time, eyes following the movement of your neck, the hypnotizing expanse of skin that bares itself to him. “Saw your hand down your pants,” you say, eyes blinking open, and though they’re droopy with sleep, at least you can hold them open this time.

Jungkook laughs nervously, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck in embarrassment. “You saw that?” A soft hum. He wants to die. “Ah, baby, don’t worry about it. Know you’re tired, so just nap,” he sighs, caressing the back of your head once again, and he thinks he’s finally convinced you so he lets his guard down.

You moan softly, and he’s almost entirely sure it’s one of those waking up types of sounds, the ones you make when you’re stretching around the bed in the morning. “Want your cock.”

Jungkook swears he’ll die, right here, right now.

He groans, lowers his head to rest on the mattress. “Jesus, fuck, baby,” he huffs, has to count to ten to will the stirring of his slowly hardening cock away for the second time that day. “Don’t say stuff like that when you’re half asleep, please.”

You ignore him, the hand that had been wrapped around his wrist tugging him closer. You barely succeed, muscles still so weak, but Jungkook humors you and rolls his chair right beside your head, where he ducks down to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Noooo,” you whine when he draws away too quickly.

A laugh blossoms in his chest, and Jungkook proceeds to rain down a series of kisses on your pretty face before he can stop himself. You melt under his touch, his affection, and Jungkook adores the way your body is so soft and pliant like this, back arching towards him after he places a hand on your waist.

“Come here,” you urge, voice a quiet plea. So soft, so needy.

Jungkook malfunctions for just a second before he’s clambering over you on the bed, manhandling your body until you're both on your sides, facing each other, with you pressed tightly to his chest. Even with your hands brushing up and down his back in the way that sends every nerve in Jungkook’s body tingling, and your leg thrown over his hip, some stupid part of him convinces himself you’re just cold, trying to warm up after walking around campus in that tiny little skirt all day. He cuddles you as best as he can.

And even with his dick twitching in his pants and his caveman instincts yelling at him to thrust up into your inviting core, Jungkook remains as professional as someone in a relationship can be when in bed with their lover. He’s so stuck on his self-control that he almost doesn’t hear the snort you muffle against his neck.

“What are you doing?” you laugh, reaching up to pinch his cheek. Jungkook blinks, eyes wide like a doe caught in headlights. “Are we gonna fuck or what?”

He chokes. He doesn’t even try to muffle his reaction like other times, because the way you’re looking at him and the heel you press against the back of his thigh preoccupies his thoughts instead. Your hands are still tracing along his back, melting him with your dainty touches. “Baby?” you question after he’s been silent too long, distracted by the way you use that hooked leg to tug your bodies closer.

“You… you’re still asleep,” Jungkook says, though it’s definitely a question.

You scoff, a smile curling around your features. “Mm, definitely not asleep,” you tease, and shift to push him onto his back, wiggling on top of him until those baby blue panties are pressed against his quickly hardening member. “Why? Wanted to touch me when I was asleep?” you continue, and Jungkook’s eyes nearly burst out of their sockets.

“No!” he exclaims, hands clutching your hips in alarm. He can tell he surprises you, because your eyes go wide for a brief second. “Never…” he mumbles afterwards, looking away from your imploring gaze. “Only like you when you’re awake.”

You sigh, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek that makes his heart flood with adoration for you. “You’re a good boy, Jungkook,” you say back, just as quietly. “A blueprint for the perfect man.” Another kiss, this time against the corner of his mouth that makes Jungkook’s hands twitch against your sides.

A soft moan tears itself from his throat, fingers digging into your hips as you slowly roll them against him. The heat emanating from your core seeps past the thin barrier of his sweatpants, makes his cock twitch in his boxers. He knows how it feels inside of you, has your body memorized like the back of his hand. But it’s in moments like these that he finds himself aching for you, desperate to feel the fluttering walls of your pussy, the pitiful whimpers that fall from your kiss swollen lips. And, well. The skirt makes it all too easy.

He places two hands on the backs of your thighs, runs them up until he’s pushing your skirt up over your waist. You pull away from his lips with a sneaky little smile, pointer finger stroking down the side of his face lazily. “Mm?” you tease, leaving a coy little peck against his mouth. “Now you wanna touch?” Jungkook rolls his eyes, snaps his teeth at your wandering finger when you draw it too close to his mouth. The giggle you let out is so damn precious, makes him want to put you in a glass case and never let anyone else touch you. Coincidentally, it also makes him want to rail you into the mattress until you cry.

“I’ll fucking ruin you, doll,” he settles on murmuring, subtly pushing you down against him. A soft giggle. Jungkook knows it’s your favorite nickname, even if you won’t admit it. He's the only one allowed to call you it, something about his intentions being pure or whatever, he’s not really sure. Anyway, you’re still so cute and soft on top of him, blinking slowly and prettily, so he’s dragging it out a bit, hoping you’ll become more alert in a few more minutes.

As sleepy as you may be, you never miss out on a chance to rile him up. “As if, doll,” you retort, his nickname for you rolling off your tongue seamlessly. It sounds heavenly, sparks this weird emotion in him that he never considered before. Him, a doll? No way. But there’s something about the sweet lilt of your voice, the starry-eyed gaze you level him with, that has him throwing all reservations aside. Put him on a shelf and call him Barbie, because he would be anything you wanted him to be.

Anyway, Jungkook’s sappy thoughts last all of two seconds before he’s rolling you over, successfully trapping you beneath his body. “Oh, so scary,” you feign, hands fluttering to clutch at your chest.

He glides his hands down your body, let’s them trail over your hip and down the side of your thigh. “Don’t get sassy with me,” he warns, thumb peeking beneath the hem of your skirt. Jungkook really wants to burn the piece of fabric this time, because after all that time it spent torturing him with its halfhearted attempts at covering you, it chooses now to do it properly.

Hands are thrown around his shoulders, the overwhelming scent of your perfume and body wash tickling his nose when you pull him in for another kiss. “Or what?” you purr, irises swirling with lust. “Gonna use your manly man strength to hold me down?”

He shushes you with a kiss, slow and languid just how you like. Your taste is familiar, feels like coming home, so Jungkook can’t be blamed for getting too carried away. It starts gentle— it always does. But then a tiny mewl gets stuck in your throat, the following moan swallowed by his tongue, and Jungkook nearly loses it. He nips at your bottom lip, waits patiently for you to open up for him, and when you do he wastes no time diving in. Your tongue against his is slick and wet, makes the most lewd sound. Your little sharp intakes of air fill the gaps, shuddery breaths that Jungkook takes as a good sign.

He strikes while the iron is still hot.

It’s amidst your lazy kissing that he secures his hands around your waist, two reassuring squeezes thrown your way before he’s abruptly rolling onto his back again. “Kook!” you squeal, clutching at the front of his shirt. A pouty frown paints your face, sleepy eyes narrowing him with a rather unimpressed look, tainted with the barest hints of confusion.

Jungkook grins, reaching back to yank his pillow out from beneath his head. “On my face,” he commands suddenly, and you snort.

“What?” you ask a little incredulously, leaning back to level him with an even more lost expression. “Since when do we do that?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Since I decided twenty seconds ago,” he answers rather bluntly. You still don’t look too convinced. It’s not a position the two of you have ever tried. You’re a little on the sappy side, always like to look at his face while you fuck, hold his cheeks in your palms, kiss him sweetly. On the one hand, Jungkook totally gets it; he’ll proudly admit that the sight of your orgasming face paired with your fantastic tits have done him many favors these past few months.

However, Jungkook is a lover of head. Giving or receiving, it’s very high on his list of sexual acts and whoever invented oral deserved all the praise in the world. Not only did you look drop dead gorgeous with his cock in your mouth— tears trailing down your cheeks, drool clinging to the corners of your lips —but you also looked absolutely sexy receiving it.

Kinda.

Probably.

Okay, so maybe Jungkook can’t really say, considering he always has a hard time catching a glimpse of your face when he’s down there licking and slurping your clit like a madman. Which is what leads him to this exact moment, an experiment weeks in the making. Jungkook has a theory that needs to be tested. “Please ride the fuck out of my face,” he tries, hoping the polite tone will win you over.

He’s met with an eye roll. Still, you’re kinder than you let on. “Okay,” you give in, and Jungkook will remember your heroism for the rest of his life. “But only because being on top is empowering.” He just barely contains an over-enthusiastic fist pump into the air, settling on a rather modest smile that has you leaning down to kiss him again. You reach for the zipper on the side of your skirt. “Just let me—“

“The skirt stays on,” he says quickly, hand on your wrist to stop you from removing his most favorite article of clothing.

“Baby,” you say, giving him a rather serious look. “It’ll cover your face.”

“It won’t,” he urges, reaching for the buttons on your blouse instead. Jungkook has had one too many encounters with tops like these, and has long since learned not to tear them apart like a crazed psycho. As much as he loves the sound of your buttons scattering across his bedroom floor, he can’t say he’s too fond of the scolding he inevitably gets afterwards. Anyway, the shirt comes off and so does your bra, leaving your tits in his face, tiny skirt on your hips. “Get up here,” he murmurs, ushering you up his body until your knees are pressing into the mattress right above his shoulders.

If it was up to Jungkook, he would have just grabbed your hips and shoved his face against your pussy. Luckily, it’s not, and your common sense shines through just in time. “One sec,” you say, and then finally, finally, the blue panties come off.

And then it’s just Jungkook and your glistening pussy.

“Holy fuck,” he groans, taking the opportunity to wrap his arms around your thighs. You squeak when he pulls you closer, hand instinctively reaching for the front of your skirt to hold away from his face. The view from here is heavenly, just your swollen clit, gorgeous tits, and shy face.

The muscles in your thighs are a little stiff. Or maybe you’re just nervous. Jungkook isn’t sure, all he knows is that it takes one encouraging tug for you to finally sit on his face. He doesn’t even register the surprised gasp that leaves your throat because he’s too busy tasting your pussy from an all new position. And it’s absolutely amazing.

Something about the position, having you carefully poised above him, does something to Jungkook. He likes to think he knows your body inside and out, knows what makes you melt and what makes you scream. He knows just how to lap at your cunt until you’re cumming, and how many fingers it takes for you to really feel it. But it’s like having you in this position changes all of that, rearranges all the tidbits of information Jungkook has spent months collecting.

(Jungkook is a meticulous man; he’s got a near perfect GPA right now that was the direct result of his carefully crafted note-taking techniques. Whether or not he abused the power of his perfectionist learning abilities to master the mechanisms of his girlfriend’s libido was no one's business but his own.)

One kitten lick against your swollen pearl makes you buck forward, clit brushing against his nose. Jungkook can’t remember you ever doing that on the first lick. “O- oh my—,” you cry, all airy and whiny. Your hand is pressed to the wall behind his bed, the other bunching the front of your skirt just above your mound. He’s rather happy to learn that, just as he’d hypothesized, this position does give him a better view of you.

He’s graced with the sight of your face, twisted up in pleasure. It’s the stereotypical eyes squeezed shut, lip caught between your teeth look. But there’s something different about it knowing that he’s gotten this reaction out of you with his mouth alone.

Jungkook quickly repositions you over him, tugging you back until his tongue is lined up with the front of your slit. You’re so warm down here, make him feel like he’s drowning with your heady scent alone. Tentatively, he lets his tongue dip between your folds, the very tip nudging your swollen clit. A moan tears itself from your throat, the hand that had been flush against the wall suddenly jumping forward to bury itself in his hair. “Oh- oh, fuck,” you shiver, hips jolting forward once more.

You taste good on his tongue, the arousal that coats your lips is sticky and sweet. When he laps his tongue along your folds, quivering hole to stiffened bud, you let out a sob that resonates deeply within Jungkook. And also Jungkook’s cock, which stirs beneath his trousers in excitement. What was once the focus of his mission, a quick handfuck to sedate himself before finishing his research paper, has long since been forgotten. It’s for the greater good, he tells himself, blinking up at you from between your thighs.

Eye contact lasts for exactly three seconds before you’re looking away bashfully, the fist clutching at your skirt trembling against your tummy. You’re so fucking pretty, Jungkook’s heart can’t take it.

And so he sets out on a mission to make you cum as soon as possible, abandoning his slow kitten licks in favor of suctioning his lips around your clit. “Kook,” you wail, tugging at his hair. Whether you do it purposely or not, Jungkook is a little shocked by how good the pain feels. It’s not an emotion he can ponder long, because then you’re using that same grip in his hair to tilt his head backwards, jerkily moving over him.

It’s rough and sudden, the buck against his face, but Jungkook loves it. The drag of your pussy against his lips, the wet glide of your juices smearing across his chin and Cupid’s bow. It all feels so good, and the fact Jungkook is getting a front row seat to the absolutely torn look on your face is just the cherry on top.

Jungkook has seen you make a lot of faces. He’s seen you shiver and drool as he nails you into your bed. He’s seen you sniffle and sob as he slowly fucks you in a rose petal filled bubble bath (a six month anniversary special planned by yours truly). He’s even seen your mirrored reflection fall apart as you bounced away on his lap in front of a mirror.

He’s never seen you like this before.

Needy and desperate, moaning his name softly, practically humping his face in your greed. Tiny skirt clutched against your waist, tits bouncing as you hurriedly grind against him. He has half the mind to burn this scene into his eyelids for the rest of his life.

He’s given up on doing anything with his tongue, simply sticking it out for you to do as you wish. Normally, he’s not a huge fan of letting you do things yourself. After all, Jungkook was your boyfriend. Making you cum was his job. But you’re moving so fast, so frantic, in your mission to cum. So Jungkook sits back and lets you go to town on his mouth as a series of moans spill from your lips.

And then something unforgivable happens.

Jungkook will admit it: he’s staring at you almost a little too dreamily, heart eyes and all. He thinks you’re fucking hot, taste like heaven and have these absolutely delicious boobs bouncing up and down. He’s a little distracted by your glorious figure that he doesn’t notice one crucial bit of information.

Your hand.

The desperate need to cum has your muscles weakening, thighs moving at a latent pace, and, much to Jungkook’s horror, hands trembling. It’s your own pleasure that lets the unimaginable happen: your skirt flutters down. Your grip on it loosens and before Jungkook knows it, the sight of your pretty face and nice tits are gone, snatched away before his very eyes. Even your wet cunt is impossible to see, his world suddenly shrouded in darkness.

Leave it to Jungkook to foil his own horny plan with, well, his horniness. If only he wasn’t so hopelessly in love with the image of you in skirts. Maybe then he could bask in the beauty that was you riding his face.

He acts fast, reaching for the material before he can miss out on anything. But the angle is weird, and without Jungkook’s hands holding your hips, you’re left weakly rolling forward instead. And he’s not the only one frustrated with this turn of events, your face quickly returning to its normal composed form as you level him with a frown. “Everything okay?” you pant.

Everything was not okay, but Jungkook isn’t sure how to tell you that without ruining this delicate moment. So he tries to show you with actions instead, releasing the skirt he’s got in his fist and letting it flutter over his face again. You giggle. “I told you so.”

It takes more willpower than he’d like to admit to pull away from your wet folds, pulling off with a lewd sound that has you biting your lip as you gaze down at him. “I told you so,” he mimics, a little mean but you don’t take it to heart. “Hold your skirt up.”

You hum, the grip on his hair loosening as you push away his dark locks instead. “Mmmm,” you hum. “No.”

“No?” he repeats, actually really scandalized. Okay, so he’s a little spoiled when it comes to you— it’s not his fault! You made him like this, conditioned him to think that you would always give into his every whim because you were just so sweet and considerate and wanted him to be happy. And Jungkook also wants you to be happy, and in his opinion, being happy right now means having him fuck your pretty brains out for ever getting sassy with him.

“I don’t listen to men,” you tease, followed by a cute little nod, skin still a little warm from your looming orgasm. Jungkook takes advantage of your tiny moment of weakness, and strikes like a viper.

A girlish squeal leaves your lips, hands stretching outwards as he knocks you backwards onto the mattress. “Jungkook,” you gasp, sprawled out artfully, beautifully, over his sheets now. He doesn’t waste a second longer, crawling over your body until you’re a shivering mess beneath him.

Hand against your throat, the other blindly reaching for the front of his sweatpants. “What is it, doll?” he drawls meanly, reveling in the way your eyes roll back when his newly-freed cock lands against your slit. A choked gasp leaves your throat, lashes fluttering wildly until Jungkook loosens his grip.

You’ve done a nice job riling yourself up, lips squelching wet and loose when he runs the tip of his cock along them. Your knees are pulled up for him, spread perfectly for him to fit between. You’re so good for him, Jungkook feels a little bad for how hard he’s going to fuck you now.

The sympathy doesn’t last long.

Once upon a time, you had been the epitome of a cute and sweet girlfriend. Had picked him up from class, encouraged him to do his homework, wore these cute little skirts around campus. Deep down inside, Jungkook knew everyone else was jealous of him— you were just so pretty and cute, a girl straight out of everyone’s dreams.

Until he sunk his horny claws into you. Jungkook will be the first to admit he spends a little too much time browsing porn sites— he’s a man, cut him some slack —which had never caused him any problems before. Even when the two of you were just friends (pining ones at that), you had never seemed even remotely affected by his extensive pornographical knowledge. It was a known fact among your friend group that Jungkook’s best friend was his right hand.

But then, of course, you started dating Jungkook and it was like a save file of all his horniest fantasies was downloaded directly into your brain. Which leads him to this.

“Spit in my mouth,” you shiver, got these huge, watery eyes pointed his way. His cock twitches.

There’s a little groan that tears itself from his throat when he leans forward, cock sliding along your folds, to grasp your chin between his fingers. “Open,” he commands, and you do. Your lower lip quivers, tongue pressed against it as you wait for Jungkook to spit down your mouth. He can’t say he regrets letting you peek through his porn stash, not when it leads to this, you whimpering at the hot glob of saliva he shoots down your throat. “Filthy,” he pants, memorizing the movement of your throat when you swallow like the good girl you are.

Before he can write another twelve sonnets about that dazed look on your face, he’s roughly grabbing at your thigh. You whine, limbs so pliant beneath his touch, letting him hike your knee over his forearm as he tugs you closer. “Fuck,” he groans, reaching down to align himself with your quivering hole. You’re still so wet, make the most lewd sound when he sinks into you. Not that Jungkook really hears it, the sound of your strained moans practically drowning everything else out.

“Fuck,” you cry, one hand clutching at his forearm, the other toying with your breast. It’s a magnificent sight, and Jungkook is suddenly feeling a little cocky when he realizes he’s the only one who gets to see this. It’s this presumptuous nature that fuels the first round of thrusts into your cunt, fast and full. He makes sure you feel every inch of him, tip to base, as he pistons his hips forward. “J— Jungkook,” you pant, back arching beneath him.

You take it so well, walls sucking him in every time he draws back out. “I’ve got you, doll,” he moans, hiking your leg further over his shoulder. Every roll of his hips has your tits bouncing back and forth, lower lip as well with the dopey, open-mouthed look you got on for him. And the damned skirt that got him here, fucking you with a punishing pace, sits perfectly around your waist. He has half the mind to take it off for you, briefly wonders if it hurts, but just looking at it reminds him of about thirty-seven pornos he’s seen. So it stays on, works alongside your lovestruck face to actively rewrite all those pornos anew with you starring in them instead.

It sure helps when you start your usual mindless babbling. “I love you,” you gasp, face screwed up in pleasure. “I- I love you so much.”

He’s contemplating doing a study on you and your weird mid-fuck confessions. You do this a lot, and while Jungkook doesn’t mind, it sure does leave him curious. “Love you too, baby,” he says anyway, repositioning his arms so he can hold your waist with both hands.

“Really?” you ask, voice so whiny, eyes brimming with tears. From emotion or your need to cum, Jungkooks not sure. (Hence the need for a study!)

Another brutal thrust that has you moaning loudly. “Really,” he reassures you, glancing down to watch his cock sink into your hole as he picks up the pace. Your arms are practically limbless, and his stomach is beginning to feel tight. The end was soon. “Love your pretty little face.”

Another whine, your fingers pulling at your pebbled nipples. “M- My pretty face?” you whimper, blink these long lashes up at him. They make Jungkook go a little mad, bring on a wave of jackhammer thrusts that cut your moans into choppy little cries instead.

“Prettiest girl I know,” he groans, not once stopping the movement of his hips. You’re quivering like a leaf beneath him, your entire body locking up as Jungkook guides you toward orgasm. “A fucking doll, baby— so beautiful for me,” he praises.

It’s exactly what you want to hear— secretly, Jungkook hypothesizes that you’re a little bit of an attention whore —crying out when he slows to a grind against you. Each roll of his hips has him rubbing over your swollen bud, leaves you trembling until you’re eventually unraveling beneath him. “Oh- Oh, fuck— Jungkook—“ you sob, writhing beneath him as you cream his cock.

Your tits look amazing, nipples stiff from your arousal and all the attention you’d been giving them. Your features soften, gasps framed by your pillowy lips. As Jungkook has said before, your pretty face was the most dangerous weapon.

He manages a few more pistons of his hips, mostly for reputation sake, before he’s eventually pulling out. His right hand, once the sole hero of his solo sessions, makes a valiant return now as he jacks himself off over you. It takes a few harsh pulls of his cock until he’s spurting his jizz over you, painting your tummy and your tits in white ribbons of cum. You flinch, a tiny whimper leaving your throat at the mess he makes. “Fuck,” he groans one last time.

When it’s over, you have the audacity to shyly pull down the front of your skirt. As if your tits aren’t out and about, but Jungkook pretends he doesn’t see it. Instead, he channels his energy into peppering your face in kisses. “Best girl,” he praises, even though he knows you hate the nickname. “My beautiful feminist queen.”

A pinch against his cheek. It hurts like hell, but he endures it for now, still very much in love with your performance today. “Get me a towel,” you huffily ask, uncomfortable with the jizz sticking to your tummy, as if he didn’t spit in your mouth a few minutes ago.

His research paper is waiting for him at his desk, the materials he’d spent weeks collecting waiting to be typed up. But his girlfriend is so soft and sleepy, asking him to stay for another nap.

There was never a choice.

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk♡#jjk smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #bts smut #bts fic #bts jungkook #mine #skirtfic

2K notes · View notes

girls4keigo · 3 years

Text

A Bird Whisperer’s Guide to Fighting Villains and Falling in Love | Hawks x Hero!Reader

Summary: Hawks needs help to defeat an upcoming hero attack in Tokyo. What better hero to ask than the one he’s been crushing on for months

Warnings: F!Reader, Hero!Reader, Fluff, Cursing

Reader plays hard to get. Reader has a nature quirk and can control natural elements and talk to animals. Reader is a popular hero

a/n: hi! this is my first post i hope you all enjoy! :)

————

You sighed, trying to keep your composure while talking to a bunch of big name heroes. The fundraiser events that your agency made you go to were unbearable. Standing around for hours listening to the most mundane heroes try to impress you with their line of work. But hey, if it helps boost approval ratings I guess it’s not that bad.

For the past year you’ve slowly been climbing the ranks of the hero world. With a powerful quirk and unique fighting styles it was hard to go unnoticed. By now you were familiar with how the industry treated female heroes. It seemed as if the general public cared about anything but your hero duties.

It was all love, relationships, “Who are you dating?”, “What’s your skincare routine?”

You honestly didn’t expect any different but geez, it sure did piss you off. And now that you were in the top 3, you weren’t expecting any of it to die down. Might as well just get used to it.

You continued to chat when suddenly your ear twitched as you sensed a certain birdie approaching.

Oh God.

“Hey. Mind if I steal ya away for a little?” Hawks’ signature smirk appeared on his face as he approached you.

Hawks seemed to really be latching onto you for quite some time, well since the new hero rankings were announced. You were on your way to surpassing the number 2 hero and had gained a lot of notoriety in the past couple of months.

He was clingy for sure, always play flirting, inviting you to lunch, showing up at your agency unannounced. It was obvious that he was just trying to get a reaction out of you. You’d be surprised if he admitted to actually having feelings for you. Well, not that you cared anyways. Your job was to save civilians, defeat villains, and do things that any other normal hero would. Love was simply not on your agenda.

Holding back a heavy sigh, you complied and stepped off to the side with Hawks.

He seemed delighted by your decision, using his feathers to fetch you a glass of champagne off of one of the caterer’s trays as you two walked over to the bar area.

“So your agency makes you come to these lame things too, huh?”

You didn’t answer, not very interested in the direction that the conversation was going in.

“You look nice.” He bit his lower lip, dragging his eyes vertically across your figure.

“Thank you.” You replied, taking a sip of your champagne.

After you both had made your way over to the bar he instructed his order to the bartender, asking you if you wanted anything and keeping the same dumb smirk on his face when you denied.

“Rarely ever see you in a color other than green. I mean, I guess it’s your entire thing but I really dig this red look you’ve got goin’ on” He mused, as he watched the bartender carefully make his drink.

He wasn’t lying. He’s been eyeing you since you walked in, you look good.

“What do you want, Hawks?” You asked, visibly annoyed.

“Damn.” He chuckled, “Small talk isn’t your thing, noted.”

You side-eyed him, getting impatient with his overly relaxed demeanor.

Catching the hint, he got straight to the point. “There’s some trouble going on in Tokyo.”

Now you were intrigued. You took another sip of your champagne, “Petty villain attacks like always, isn’t it?”

You turned towards him, he got a good look at your face before he answered.

Fucking pretty, he thought to himself.

“That’s what I thought at first but it’s getting harder to believe that as I do more digging.” He looks around before inching closer to you, trying to keep his volume to a minimum. “The League is planning something big next week. The ‘Rain of Terror’, they’re callin’ it. They’re trying to ease the amount of big attacks in the city to let our gaurds down. And frankly, I think it’s working.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “How do you know all of this?”

“I’ve got connections,” Was all he said, with a shrug.

Ok, whatever. You’ll confront him about that later. “And this ‘Rain of Terror…’ what does it entail?”

“Bombs.”

“Shit,” You muttered.

“Big ones. Huge ones, actually. I don’t know how the fuckers did it but they found a way to make these huge, bioengineered clouds that ‘rain’ bombs.”

You grew uneasy. Raining bombs? Over the entirety of Tokyo? The amount of destruction it would do to the earth, to civilians, made you panic. Hawks sensed your uneasiness but continued anyways, “I want us to team up. Your quirk would be useful with the entire controlling nature n’ weather thing.”

He loosened up from his serious expression, talking a bit louder and showing a teethy smile, “Plus I think we’d make a pretty good team. I’ve already got a plan so we’ll meet up at yours tomorrow.”

“As in my house? Why not anywhere else?” You questioned.

“Well,” He grabbed his drink and used his free hand to rub the back of his heck, “This isn’t really the typa thing we can talk about in public. Mass hysteria, panic, that type of thing. And my living situation is pretty…complicated right now.”

You felt a small tap on your shoulder, followed by the voice of your high school aged sidekick. You turned to the younger hero. “Uh..Y/N? It’s time to go. I gotta be back by 11.”

You sighed before turning back to Hawks.

“Kids and their curfews, right?” He commented.

“Fine. I’ll have my agency send you my address. Don’t come during the day.” That was the last thing you said before finishing your drink all in one quick sip and making your way to the exit. You could feel his eyes on your backside until you left the venue. And the singular scarlet feather rushing in front of you to open the car door for you was really the cherry on top.

You rolled your eyes.

“Woah.” Your sidekick mused, “He seems to really like you. You should give him a chance, he’s hot.”

You giggled at her comment, “He doesn’t really like me, y’know? He flirts with every female hero.”

—

You heard a slight tap on the window leading up to your balcony. You already sensed him flying towards you when he was about a mile away, but your bedroom? Reluctantly you walked over and opened the sliding door.

“Never heard of a front door?”

“Well that’s no fun, is it?” He said, displaying his signature smirk. You looked cute out of your hero clothes. Hair tied up and messy, and in big comfy clothes.

Adorable, he thought to himself. He walked in as if it was his own befroom, slipping off his shoes, gloves and jacket and placing them in the corner of your room.

“Make yourself comfortable I guess.” You deadpanned at him, “And we’re still going downstairs anyways.” He shrugged.

He couldn’t help but be taken aback by the layout of your room. There were plants in almost every corner, on every shelf. Vines growing on your walls, half read books strewn across your bedside table and dresser, your pet birds of all different shaped and sizes flew freely around your room, chirping every once in a while. “So you’re a bird whisperer, huh?” He said, looking around.

“I’m an animal whisperer.” You said, “That’s kind of like my entire thing.”

He let out a hearty laugh before making his way out of your room.

“Tea?” You asked, heading towards the kitchen as the winged hero made himself comfortable on your couch.

“Sure.” He picked up your remote with one his feathers, flicking through the channels.

He turned his attention to you a couple moments later as you took a seat across from him at your coffee table, setting down two mugs of green tea.

He explained his plan carefully, paying close attention to all details and pausing for any questions you might have. You had to admit, as much as an annoying asshole this guy could be, he knew what he was doing. You could tell he plans his strategies very carefully, as much as he likes to come off as lazy and laid back to the general public. He was a damn good hero. And you hated admitting it but he was right, utlizing his speed and your ability to control weather, it wouldn’t be all that hard to stop villain attacks.

Hawks also couldn’t help but admire you. You seemed attentive, always paying close attention to detail and asking a lot of questions. I mean he already knew you were good at your job, watching some of the viral videos of your fights with villains.

—

When the day finally came, it went as smoothly as planned, of course with a little bumps along the way. Still, the few civilians that were hurt only had minor injuries, and you and hawks made it so only a couple bombs hit the ground.

You, Hawks, and some other minor heroes who had joined mid-battle regrouped to talk about how to resolve the collateral damage.

“It’s not too much to be honest, I’ll have it all repaired by midni-“

“Wow! What an incredible display of courage from Hawks and Mother Nature, currently sitting at number 2 and number 3 of Japan’s Hero BillBoard Chart!” A loud reporter exclaimed, accompanied by a camera crew.

Of course.

You tried your best to ignore and keep talking to fellow heroes until a microphone was shoved in your face. The face of the reporter gleamed as she talked to you. “Tell me Mother Nature, how does it feel working with number 2 hero Hawks?” You winced at the question, but answered nevertheless.

“Hawks is a diligent hero with a lot of experience under his belt despite being so young. It was great working with him.” You answered, forcing a smile on your face.

“There’s speculation that you two planned this together..is this true? How were you able to predict this attack? More importantly, are you two dating?” Those questions hit you like a truck.

“Um..no comment.” Was all you could answer with.

Nevertheless, the reporter persisted, “Well there has to be something going on. It’s just my opinion but you two seem perfect for each other.” She giggled at the camera, “Please! The public is dying to know!”

Before you could even muster up an answer to the reporter’s overwhelming question, a giant scarlet wing came between you and the reporter, blinding both her and the camera from your view.

“Hey. She said she doesn’t wanna talk about it. Let’s respect personal boundaries, yeah?” Hawks said in a nice but slightly defensive tone.

You blushed, looking up at him. As nice we he was trying to sound, he looked angry. And damn right he was. How dare they talk to you like you’re no more than just some D-list celebrity? You’re a fucking hero, who cares about dating speculation when you just saved Japan’s largest city? And how dare they ask questions about him when you were the one doing most of the work. He was enraged, and it was his natural instinct to protect the thing he cared for.

Before you knew it, he latched his arms around your waist, pushing you into his chest.

You were flustered. “What are you-“

“Let’s go.” Was all he said before flapping his wings, sending you guys soaring through the air.

You held on to him for dear life, damn was he fast.

Hawks smirked to himself, feeling your rapid heartbeat against his chest. You were trying your best to hide your blushing by burying your face in his neck, granted that probably made it worse because he could already tell by how hot your face was.

God, she’s adorable

As soon as you two landed on top of a building, you pushed him away as quickly as possible.

He chuckled, putting both of his hands up in defense, “You’re the one making this awkward y’know? Plus you owe me for saving your ass.”

You were angry. Was it because of the downright rude questions that the reporter asked you not too long ago, was it because you knew tabloids would be posting all about you and Hawks for the next couple of days, was it because you were..warming up to that damned bird?

And then you started. “Just so you know, this..us..is not a thing. It will never be a thing. I wish you’d just stop flirting with me all the damn time. Just move on to the next female hero. I actually don’t care what you do. Just leave me alone. I don’t understand why you have to be so clingy, it’s annoying.”

Hawks did nothing but smile, listening to you ramble.

“You know…I-“ He interjected, only to be interrupted by you.

“And geez, you’re so goddamn entitled. I owe you? I don’t owe you anything. I didn’t even need your help. You’re no different from any other guy, you’re fucking insuffer-“

Hawks shut you up with a gentle kiss on your lips.

Oh.

“You talk too much.” He said in a low whisper, before pulling on your chin to kiss you again. You kissed him back, resting your hands on his chest, completely indulging in the moment.

Fuck. Your knees were weak. As much as you wanted to keep going you pulled away, blushing furiously and refusing to make eye contact with him.

“Oh? So now you’re shy?” He chuckled, pulling you closer to him. He tried to catch your gaze but you just moved your head away from him each time.

“Someone might see us. This is bad,” You were able to muster out.

“You’re so fucking cute.” He said, making you blush even more. He continued, “I don’t flirt with you for no reason, y’know? Sure, sometimes it’s just to tease..but I think you’re amazing.”

You felt like you were melting in his arms. Unable to find the right words, you panicked. You were gone in seconds, manipulating the wind so it could carry you back home, the same stupid blush unable to leave your face.

“Call me!” He yelled.

That damn bird.

368 notes · View notes

cherryyharryy · 3 years

Note

please write something about Harry overhearing the reader’s friend tell her that Harry doesn’t spend time with her that she deserves someone better they hang up b4 the reader can say anything like angst to fluff

Thank you for requesting!

This is 80's harry lol

WC: 2.4K

Harry pauses the music on his Walkman, slipping the headphones off his ears to rest around his neck while he fiddles with the key to his apartment.

She had spent the night—his angel. It had been quite the set up, since she still lives at home with her parents while finishing college, a little white lie was passed around to cover her absence. Harry wasn’t a secret by any means, but her parents weren’t the most open minded, and a small fib was easier to handle than trying to rehash the same discussion of y/n being a grown woman. It was hard enough for her to get their approval for college...one mountain at a time.

Harry’s ears burn as he sets the groceries down in the kitchen, the thought of her still tangled up in his sheets beckoning him back to his room, is enough to drive him wild. He doesn’t catch himself zoning out until the phone rings. He untangles his music off his shoulders and yanks the phone off the wall, but y/n has beat him to it, her soft morning voice greeting Caroline before Harry can utter a word.

His brain is too slow in making the connection that he should hang up. That he shouldn’t eavesdrop on his girlfriend’s private conversation. That he owes her the respect that her parents never give her. But he hears his name, specifically, he hears Caroline ask y/n how last night was, so the phone stays glued to his ear.

“Amazing,” she purrs, and Harry’s stomach flips. “We did it like, three times.”

The girls giggle, and Harry shuffles on his feet with a veiny blush spreading all over his body. He can imagine y/n draped in his sheets, phone cord wrapped around her fingers, just a few steps away from him

“Better be nothing short of amazing,” Caroline says, “with what little time he gives you anyway. Ugh, if Tony ever left me hanging as often as Harry, I’d dump him so fast.” She smacks her gum into the phone and Harry flinches. “He tried to ditch me one time to go see Scarface with Rob, and I was like, hell no, you’re taking me skating like you promised. Honestly y/n, you can do better. You’re surrounded by college boys, go find a future doctor.”

The phone almost slips from Harry’s hand, but he catches it and hangs it back on the wall, just in time for his entire world to start crumbling to his feet.

Did he really not spend enough time with y/n?

How long has this been a topic shared between them?

And why hasn’t she said anything before?

Harry stands in the middle of his kitchen, immobilized. He can’t lose her, especially not to something he can fix. She’s been his girl since they were sixteen, there’s too much history between them, or so he thought.

He files through the memories he has of them together, trying to quantify them, trying to see where he started slipping.

Maybe it’s when he took over his dad’s business? But she knew how demanding it would be, and always supported him. Or maybe it’s because they don’t go out as much? Between him managing an appliance store, and her working towards a bachelors, they often opt for nights on the couch watching SNL reruns.

His mind is foggy, and he doesn’t catch his bedroom door creaking open.

“H?”

Harry startles back to present, gripping the counter as y/n emerges from his room wearing nothing but his t-shirt.

“You okay? Look like a deer caught in headlights.”

“Mm, no, fine.”

“I heard you come in a bit ago.” She flicks her eyes over his kitchen, looking for the breakfast he had promised to make almost an hour ago.

“Didn’t want to be too loud.”

“Oh, alright.” She smiles, attempting to diffuse whatever awkward tension has settled in his home. “Well, cook away! I can help too.”

He grabs her wrist before she reaches the fridge. “No, I’ll make it for you. Go back to bed.”

“You sure?”

He nods, forcing a smile.

She peers back over her shoulder twice on her walk back to his room, hoping to figure out what’s going on, but learns nothing.

As soon as his door shuts, Harry flies around his kitchen, grabbing what he needs to make the fastest breakfast in the world.

He’s going to spend every free second he has with her, and doesn’t want to waste any if he doesn’t have to.

***

Harry knows he’s borderline annoying. And he knows his actions are beginning to appear creepy, if not bizarre. He tags along with y/n everywhere she goes now, even at the doctor where he almost followed her back to her exam. She gently placed her hands on his chest and told him that she would rather the doctor do the job, promising she’d be out in no time.

She’s been tiptoeing around him too, not sure what to make of his new routine of gluing himself to her side, hoping it will wear off and things will go back to normal.

But she waits and she waits, and normal never resurfaces.

“H, baby, I can’t concentrate with you so close to me.”

Harry looks offended, slipping his reading glasses off his nose and closing the book he was halfway through, giving her his full attention when he asks what she means.

Y/n peers around the library, not wanting to have this discussion so publicly, but too keyed up to wait any longer. “I’ve just noticed that you’ve...been a little clingy lately? More like a lot.”

“I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

“You’re picking me up, and walking me to my classes—”

“Thought that was nice?”

“You don’t even go to this school. Listen, the sentiment is nice, but I’m starting to feel a little suffocated.”

Harry bites his cheek so hard he draws blood. “And what did Caroline have to say about that?”

“What?”

“I’m sure that nosy friend of yours had a lot to say about me when you brought this up.”

“Excuse me!”

“Quiet, please,” one of the staff members shushes y/n, “Or I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Y/n ignores the snickers from a table of girls nearby, recoiling her embarrassment and turning it to anger. Her voice, although lowered, now drags out of her mouth in sharp tones. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I heard everything, that morning Caroline called my phone to talk to you about how crummy of a boyfriend I am.”

That morning, now a month ago, is hardly a memory in y/n’s head. She fights around for details of the conversation, but comes up empty handed. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about, and frankly, I don’t care.” She starts closing all her books and gathering her school work to shove into her bag.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

Harry blinks, fumbling for his next question as y/n hurries across the library. He’s quick to catch up with her, waiting until they’re outside where they don’t have to whisper. “Don’t walk, I have my car.”

He reaches for her shoulder but she shrugs it off. “I’m going home. My home, not yours.”

Harry freezes on the sidewalk. She continues on her way until she disappears around the building. A few students yell out at Harry, making fun of the guy who, from a distance, just got rejected. He flips them off and heads to his car, beating the steering wheel all the way back to his apartment.

***

“You’ve been studying an awful lot lately,” y/n’s dad comments from across the dinner table. “Do you have a big test coming up?”

“Hm?”

“You spend the night with Rayna almost every weekend.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. We have a lot of tests.” Y/n spoons a bite of mashed potatoes into her mouth, thankful neither of her parents went to college. It’s allowed for more stretched lies when she sleeps over at Harry’s. “Like a lot. Every week.”

Her mother hums from her seat, nodding to save her spot in the conversation while she finishes chewing. “We told you how hard it would be. But you wouldn’t listen.”

“That’s not—” “Shelly’s daughter just got a job as a receptionist, over at that dental office by the mattress store.” Her dad points at y/n with his fork. “You could ask her if she knows of any other places looking for a girl.”

“I’m not going to have a job where the requirement is girl.”

“You’re taking this too liberally, dear. Oh Lord, John, that school did just what you said.”

“No—”

“That’s what happens, girls go off to try and get a degree...and what for? What are you going to do when you get married and have kids?”

“Kids!?”

Her mom scoffs. “Well you’re not going to be able to raise children and work.”

“Are you two serious right now? It’s 1985, not fifty-five! Women go to college, they work, some of them don’t even get married! Or have kids!”

“When you were little you couldn’t wait to be a mom. Now all of a sudden you’ve changed your mind. That never would have happened if we hadn’t let you go off to that damn school.”

“Yes I’ve changed my mind! If it hadn’t been for that school, I never would have realized that it’s my own mind to change. It’s my own life to do whatever I want with, not yours.”

“Well I am—” Her dad is interrupted by the door bell echoing outside the kitchen. “One minute. We’re not done with this yet.”

Muffled voices stagger from the front door while y/n pushes the food around her plate. She hopes that whoever is at the door keeps her dad busy for a while. She knows her mom won’t have these types of conversations without him, which just showcases the lifestyle she is adamantly trying to avoid. One that was passed down to her parents, but y/n is determined to squeeze herself out of that narrative no matter what.

“Y/n!” her dad calls, “you have a visitor.”

Y/n peers up at her mom, both women exchanging confused glances before they go see who had arrived.

“Oh,” y/n says dully, “It’s you.”

Harry stands with his hands shoved into jacket pockets, peering at each family member before speaking. “Hey, uh, I was hoping we could talk. Privately.”

Y/n nods, and leads the way back through the kitchen to the back porch. She’s not really in the mood to be talking to him, or having this conversation, but right now he’s a free ticket away from her parents, so she accepts.

They sit halfway down the steps, just like they’ve done a thousand times before. Her on the right, him on the left. Usually his arm is thrown over her shoulder, and their knees bump together until Harry pulls her in so close that not even a breeze could fit between them, but now they’re both collected on their respective sides of the wooden step.

“Heard the new Prince song?”

Y/n rolls her eyes. “It’s been a week.”

“Exactly, a lot’s happened in a week. Prince came out with a new song, Michael Jordan’s rookie of the year, and there’s gonna be a Rocky four.”

“Did you come over to talk about everyone else’s good news?”

Harry sighs. “We’ve never gone a week without talking. Ever.”

“Well you really hurt my feelings.” She turns to look at him, tears welling up in her eyes. “I mean, you don’t even trust me, so you listen in on my phone calls—”

“That’s not—no. I picked up when you did.”

“But you still listened.”

“Okay yeah, but only because I heard my name.” He shrugs, a timid smile playing on his lips. “Wanted to hear what you thought about me.”

“I tell you what I think all the time. I’ve never kept my feelings secret from you.”

“It’s different.” He pulls his hands from his pockets and runs them through his hair, tugging on fistfuls of curls out of frustration. “But then when Caroline said all that, ‘bout me not spending enough time with you, it killed me.”

“That’s what this is about,” she sighs, more to herself than to Harry as the memory of that morning resurfaces in her mind. “You dork, what about what I said back?”

“I hung up. Didn’t wanna hear anything else after that.”

“I told her how wrong she was. How we spend lots of time together.”

“You did?”

“Mhm. She’s always bragging about her and Tony, like they’re the first two people to date ever. I totally rubbed our relationship in her face.”

Harry’s surprised by the gleam on his girlfriend’s face, and tries not to laugh. “What else did you tell her?”

“I dunno.” She shrugs, suddenly shy. “Can’t remember.”

“How convenient.” He nudges her knee with his, and she bumps him back.

Y/n exhales, dipping her head back to squint at the stars peeking out from a cloudy night. “My parents are driving me crazy.”

“They always drive you crazy.”

“Yeah but, more than usual. I got spoiled staying with you on the weekends.”

Harry hums, reaching his arm over to pull her into his side. “Maybe it shouldn’t just be weekends…”

“They would know something’s up if I stayed over on weeknights.”

“No, baby, I mean permanently.”

“Like moving in together?”

“Why not?”

She chews on her lip, trying to keep her smile hidden. “I don’t know...that’s a big deal. It’s a big step.”

“We can think about it. No rush.”

“It would be nice. To see each other whenever we wanted.”

Harry tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Wouldn’t have to ask your parents permission for anything.”

“Yeah…”

“Just me.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding, angel.” He kisses her forehead and takes her hand, helping her up.

Y/n’s parents are in the living room when the two are back in the house, and just the thought of continuing her evening here lights a fire under y/n.

“I’m going over to Harry’s,” she announces.

Harry drops her hand, just as surprised as her parents.

“Excuse me?” Her father turns the t.v. off and straightens in his chair. “I don’t think so.”

“Well I think so,” y/n defends. “Come on, Harry.” She takes his hand and tugs him towards the door.

“Harry!” Her mother protests.

He looks over his shoulder just as he’s being led out the door. “Oh, you can call me Rayna.”

#Harry styles requested #Harry styles requests #requests #request #harry styles fic #cherryyharryy #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst to fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff

367 notes · View notes