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madame-wilsonn · 2 years

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Where the home is

MASTERLIST

Request: I'd like to request a fluffy fic with Arthur where he gets to live in the country with his love (very cottage core), raise his children (awkwardly but adorably), and run a garage. I'd love to know how his life would have turned out if the vendetta hadn't happened so I supposed this is a "fix it" fic? I know you're really good at those! I don't have a dialogue prompt for you, but perhaps an "ambitious man" comes to the garage and Arthur's wife worries he'll want to go back to his gangster lifestyle, but he assures her he's happy? (You don't have to take that direction tho.) - @zablife

Summary: after a certain visit, you fear Arthur might not be happy with your life anymore.

A/N: Thank you so much for your request, lee!! I was really hesitant at the beginning with this story but I still hope I did justice to the request! Nonetheless, I had a lot of fun writing for Arthur and imagining a s4-free life! Clearly, this man doesn’t get enough love so I did my best to change that! I really hope you like it!!

And special thanks to @thesoldiersminute for making the perfect gifset to fit my story in such a short time (again), you’re a real hero 💗

Warnings: a bit of angst and fluff!!

Word count: 3,074 words

“Arthur, breakfast is ready!” you yelled out the kitchen window, setting up a plate of scrambled eggs on the table.

Your husband joined you a few seconds later, wrapping his free arm around your waist. He kissed your cheek tenderly, handing you Billy.

“Hello, little guy,” you cooed, tickling his neck.

You pulled out the high chair, making sure he was safely seated before taking place next to Arthur.

“So, what are your plans today?”

“Hmm…gotta go to the garage,” he explained, eating a mouthful of toast. “I’ll come back for lunch, we can go pick those apples for your pie, yeah?”

A soft smile graced your lips, your hand reaching to squeeze his.

He got up, quickly sipping the last of his tea. One kiss on your forehead, one kiss on Billy’s and he left. You watched him get into the car through the window, chuckling when he waved at you, a huge grin on his face.

This was your new routine, your new life. Far from the dust and soot of Birmingham.

Arthur’s last deal got him enough money to buy this cottage, with enough land to grow chickens and have a garden. It all seemed like a dream. Watching your husband play with your son, prepare dinner with him next to you.

You never thought Arthur would finally accept giving up the Shelby business. It became the only option for him once he learned you were pregnant. He didn’t want to raise kids in the middle of gang fights, drugs, and gun powder.

His little family was his last shot to a happy, brighter future and he didn’t want to ruin it. That’s what he would tell you.

However, you couldn’t help but wonder if he missed his old life sometimes. Of course, you knew he was happy with you and the countryside allowed him to fulfill long-forgotten dreams. But was this really enough?

You sighed, grabbing a screaming Billy in your arms.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, we’re going to see Dada. Come on, you can stop crying, now.”

At the mention of his father, your two years old began calming down, repeating “Dada?” until you explained yourself again.

Ever since Arthur left this morning, Billy did not stop asking for him. And what was once a sweet little boy, turned into a screaming, kicking monster. Nothing could silence him. No matter how many toys you brought to his attention, no matter how many cookies you tried to bribe him with. All he wanted was his father.

Which is why you found yourself entering the garage a few minutes later. Oliver— one of Arthur’s mechanics— warned you your husband was in a meeting with some man. You waited outside the office, trying to distract Billy.

Finally, the door opened. A man came out first, dressed elegantly with a hat in his hand. You had never seen him before, not even in the village. But considering the three-piece suit he wore, you could only guess he came from the city.

A smile stretched your lips as Arthur came out, a confused look on his face. The stranger looked at you, then to your husband, expectedly.

“Mr. Lavin, this is my wife, Y/N.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Shelby,” he shook your hand as you replied then grabbed a small card from his pocket, “Alright, here is my card. You can call me when you’ve made a decision. Have a nice day.”

You frowned, staring at Mr. Lavin exiting the building and turning back to Arthur.

“Who was he?”

“Oh, he sells cars. Wants to join our businesses together,” he explained, taking Billy from you. “Did you miss daddy, hm?”

Your toddler giggled, resting his head on Arthur’s shoulder.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…he’d keep selling the cars and I would deal with fixing them when it’s needed. And his company is much bigger which would increase benefits, I’d make more money.”

You hummed, realizing this man just proposed to give Arthur his old life back. The small voice of insecurity grew louder and louder at the sight of your husband, thrilled with the idea of expanding his business.

“Love? Is everything okay?”

You focused your attention back on Arthur who had Billy sitting on his knees. A sight you’d never get tired of. Although your husband could be quite clumsy and rough on the edges, you discovered a whole new side of him when he met his son. You had never seen your Arthur so happy. And you were absolutely sure that this lifestyle was the best for him and for Billy. But you were terrified that he may prefer his previous life and accept the businessman’s proposal.

“Yes, yes, I’m alright,” you cleared your throat, pushing your worries further down in your heart. “We just came here because Billy couldn’t stop crying but we should head back now.”

“You know what? I’m going home with you,” Arthur got up from his chair, still carrying his son in his arms. “It’s calm today, I can let Oliver handle it so that little rascal doesn’t drive you mad,” he added that last part while tickling Billy.

With one hand against your back, Arthur guided you outside where the car was parked. The way back home passed in a flash. Staring out of the window, you were only half-listening to your husband. All you could think about was the businessman in his classy suit. Arthur dressed the same way when you met him. His hair used to be shorter. He was close to his family and worked with them at the company.

And then you married him.

You weren’t a controlling wife but you saw how your brother-in-law, Thomas, manipulated Arthur into doing dangerous jobs. No matter how hard you tried to help your husband to give up his drug consumption, his brother would always come back with a man to threaten, beat up or kill.

Of course, he promised it was the last step to become a fully legal company. You believed him in the beginning until Arthur’s state got worse. Your pregnancy was the last thing to convince him to move away.

You lived a happy life, raising your child in the middle of green fields and chickens. Your husband had almost no contact with his brother except for the big family reunions.

You contented yourself with what you had. Granted, it was a less glamorous lifestyle but you never missed any of it. You tried to convince yourself Arthur felt the same way when you had some doubts. It used to work, only by seeing how much better he had gotten.

But this morning’s meeting made you question everything.

“Y/N? Hey!” blinking a few times, you looked at Arthur who opened the door for you. “We’re home.”

You thanked him with a tight smile, your mind still clouded with your doubts and insecurities. You were aware you could share your feelings, and maybe talk about different solutions to make everyone happy. But you knew that as soon as you admitted how you felt, there was no taking it back and you didn’t want Arthur’s decision to depend on what you wanted. Especially if it meant that he could be happy.

Strolling through the garden, you stopped in front of each tree to collect the apples. Arthur had Billy sitting around his shoulder, gleefully trying to catch the red and green fruits.

“Oh, this one is beautiful. Good job, Billy,” your husband exclaimed when he saw his son’s find.

You adored apple picking, it was always a lovely moment. But you couldn’t enjoy yourself as much today. Your incessant ruminations were eating your general cheerfulness away, making you quieter than usual.

Arthur had picked up on your strange behavior ever since you visited him at the garage this morning but he thought you were just tired. Your growing silence only turned his slight concern into worry.

Noticing your absentminded state, he gently put Billy on the ground, letting him meander off in the field. Arthur brought you closer to him, passing an arm around your shoulders.

“Are you alright?”

You nodded, tiptoeing to grab one of the apples that caught your eye but you were too short. Before you could do anything else, you found the fruit in your hand, your fingers grazing Arthur’s calloused ones.

“Thank you,” you tried to smile as naturally as your troubled state allowed you to. Glancing at your basket, you added. “I think we have enough apples for now.”

You began walking back to your house, Arthur right behind you. As you entered your kitchen, your husband announced he would be taking Billy to the nursery for his nap. You began working on your dough, the house quiet and peaceful.

However, the silence only made the buzzing in your mind stronger and louder. Your thoughts wandering and spiraling until you felt dizzy.

You kept mixing the batter mechanically, your arms sore. But the pain was incomparable to the despair you found yourself in. There was no way to win. Either you forced your husband to give up something he loved. Or you let him even though it would wreck the balance you had installed.

“Y/N?”

You jumped as Arthur’s voice startled you. A shaky breath escaped your lips, turning your head to look at him.

“Billy’s asleep. Can I help you?” he stood in the kitchen’s door frame, his gentle eyes gauging your expression.

“You can cut the apples if you want,” your tone came out harsher than you expected. Arthur frowned at your cold voice, hesitantly walking into the room.

As he peeled the fruits, he tried to replay in his mind the last few hours of the day. You were obviously upset, more likely about something he did. But the poor man had no idea. It was neither your birthday nor your anniversary. He fixed the lightbulbs in the hallway like you asked. He even brought you fresh flowers yesterday when he noticed the old ones started to wilt.

And you seemed perfectly fine this morning.

So he began thinking about the events that must have happened between the time he left for work and now. You did seem pretty upset when you arrived at the garage but he hadn’t seen you for hours.

Arthur dropped his knife as he realized he may have found the issue. Maybe you were upset that he left you alone with Billy to work instead of helping you at home. But you usually didn’t mind…

Regardless, it seemed to have bothered you today and as your husband, he couldn’t be the reason behind your low spirits.

He took the time to cut the apples the way you showed him, making sure they were “thin but not too much”. He took his time, trying to be as diligent as his rough hands allowed him to. The last thing he wanted was to make you even angrier with chunky apple bits or paper-thin ones.

Sheepishly, he walked to the sink, setting the bowl next to you. He observed you for a moment, noticing the deep frown on your forehead. It was now or never.

Arthur cleared his throat, trying to gain some courage before hugging your waist from behind.

“I-I’m sorry for this morning,” he whispered, resting his cheek against yours.

As soon as the words hit your ears, your movements stopped. You clenched your jaw as you inhaled deeply, wondering what gave you away.

“I promise to stay home more often to help you with the baby. I’ll hire more men at the garage so you don’t have to be alone when he gets fussy like this morning.”

You frowned, confused. You tried to understand his speech but no matter how you analyzed it, it didn’t make any sense.

“What are you talking about, Arthur?” you turned around, dusting your hands on your apron. He didn’t reply right away, staring at you strangely.

“I-I thought you were mad because I went to work this morning. Billy was giving you a hard time and I wasn’t here to help so I thought…you’re not angry about that?”

You sighed, exasperated. It wasn’t his fault and you shouldn’t have been angry at him. But how he completely missed the reason you were so upset just…ticked you off.

You went back to your pie, trying to distract yourself to not cause a fight but Arthur couldn’t give up.

“But…why are you mad? Did I do something to-”

“You didn’t do anything, Arthur. It’s fine.”

You heard him scoff, letting go of your waist.

“Then why have you been like this the whole day?”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you stayed quiet. You reminded yourself that Billy was asleep and how hard it would be to calm him down if he woke up. You focused all your attention on the dough before you, trying to ignore your husband. Trying to ignore the growing red monster in your chest.

But Arthur called your name, a hand on your shoulder and you snapped: “because I feel you’re not happy anymore and I’m fucking terrified! There!”

His hand left your shoulder and you took advantage of that second of disbelief to escape, throwing your apron on the table.

You walked to your favorite tree in the garden— the one with the swing attached to it. It was a small gift from Arthur. He built it when you moved in after you mentioned having a similar one in your childhood home.

You let out a shaky sigh, feeling the whole world crumble around you. You couldn’t help but feel a pinch of guilt in your chest, realizing you had convinced yourself you lived a perfect life when it wasn’t the case. You prided yourself in your family, having built a happy and safe household.

But maybe all you did was manipulate Arthur into accepting what you considered a “better” lifestyle.

Tightening your hold on the edge of the swing, you allowed yourself a minute, crying your frustrations away. You breathed in the fresh, summer breeze, slowly calming yourself down.

You were aware your reaction had been disproportionate and you needed to apologize to Arthur for your behavior. You just wished you could stay here forever, shut yourself away in joyful memories. If you focused enough, you could almost feel the wind caressing your cheeks and hear Billy’s precious giggles as Arthur pushed the swing.

But running away from your problems never really made them go away.

Opening the door as quietly as you could, you found Arthur on one of the sofas. Billy must have just woken up as he lay in his father’s arm, nodding on and off against his chest. You played with your fingers anxiously, entering the living room.

Your husband’s gaze on you almost made your cheeks heat up. He had every right to get mad at you for your outburst, to tell you how ridiculous it was and make you feel even smaller than you already did.

Instead, he extended his hand to you, allowing you to sit on his lap. You nuzzled your face against his neck, bringing an arm around Billy as well.

“What’s going on, hm?” Arthur finally asked, tenderly brushing the hair out of your face.

“Do you miss your old life?”

Your question made him frown. He had no idea where this was coming from. You knew everything about his past. You had stood up against his demons, dragging him out of the hell he was a prisoner of. Without you, he would probably not even be here anymore. So why would you ask him that?

“No, love. Why would I?” he replied, his confusion clear in his tone.

“I’m scared you do…sometimes,” you whispered so quietly a part of you hoped he wouldn’t hear.

“What?”

“I’m not angry at you for that. I understand…I think. I’ll always do what’s necessary to make you happy but I’m not sure it’s the best decision and-”

“What are you talking about?” he interrupted, just as confused as before.

“I’m talking about the job, Arthur!” you exclaimed, getting up. “That businessman who came this morning! He’s just offered you your old life back!”

Your husband blinked, everything finally clicking in his mind. Sighing, he put Billy on the sofa and joined you in the middle of the room.

“I never planned on accepting it,” he admitted, taking your hands in his.

You shook your head. “You’re just saying this because I don’t like that idea.”

“I’m not,” Arthur leaned in, kissing your forehead. “Expanding my business means I’d have to work in the city, I’ll be less home. I don’t want that. I don’t want to go back.”

You found yourself melting in his touch, your worry slowly withering.

“I want to be around. I want to see Billy grow and have more children. And the future I imagine is here, in the countryside with my family. Because that’s where my home is,” he explained, bringing tears to your eyes. “I am the happiest man on this whole planet. Never thought it was even possible to feel that way. But you give me that and that’s all I want.” You felt another kiss against the crown of your head. “Also, working for those big companies means cutting my hair and I like it long.”

You giggled at his comment, hugging him closer. Arthur chuckled, his heart welling up as your laugh resonated through the house.

Feeling a small tug on his pants, he looked down to see Billy, extending his chubby arms towards you. “Dada. Hug,” he kept repeating.

“Oh, you wanna join, little man?” Arthur bent down.

You embraced your boys as tight as you could, contentment filling the void you had felt. Arthur’s earnest words eased your insecurities, shutting down the ugly voices in your head.

“I want this as well,” you whispered after a beat of silence. Your husband gazed at you, dropping Billy on the ground. “Everything you said, I want it too.”

A radiant smile appeared on his face, his eyes gleaming under the afternoon sun. Caressing your cheeks, Arthur brought your lips to his. Your fingers got lost in his hair as you felt your knees grow weaker.

“What do you say we leave Billy with John and Esme for a few days and have the weekend for ourselves?” he muttered, eyes growing darker.

“Sounds like a brilliant idea.”

#arthur shelby x reader #arthur my bestie #arthur shelby #peaky blinders #ma copine lee #lee tag ♡#friends #anna's grand ball #500 followers celebration #anna’s fics

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strangersatellites · 1 year

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between comfort and chaos

1.1k words

forewarning, this is sad and does not have a happy ending. do with that what you will.

Hawkins is a gloomy town on its best days. On its bad days, even more so.

Today is a bad day. Cloudy skies, cold wind, and a dreary atmosphere all contributing to Steve’s constant itch to go.

Somewhere, anywhere.

Finds himself halfway to the quarry by the time he realizes it's happening.

His right hand reaches to change the radio, skipping through stations and landing on a familiar tune. Familiar in the way that Steve feels lightning strike to his core as loud drums and screaming guitar ring out through the speakers.

His hand stills, leaves the song on before he grips the wheel again.

Thinks to himself what a shitty day it is, dark and heavy.

He feels a heavy hand land on his shoulder, shaking him from his stare at the road ahead.

“Where’d you go sweetheart?”

Blinking back into focus he glances over at Eddie’s concerned face.

“Shit, sorry. It’s just such a gross day, got a little in my head.”

Eddie just squeezes his shoulder and hums.

Pulling towards the edge of the quarry, Steve cuts the engine and makes his way out of the car to sit against the hood overlooking the water.

“You know, when I was little I used to think this was the coolest place in the whole world. It was so big and so pretty, and– and I used to think about how I would never want to be anywhere where I couldn’t come see this,” Steve says looking ahead. “Now I would rather be anywhere else.”

Eddie’s heavy boots kick out some rocks while they sit. “What’s holding you back? You’re a big boy now, you can do whatever your heart desires.”

Steve heaves out a sigh. Ever since they killed Vecna he’s felt an especially strong attachment to this place, whether he likes it or not. A sense of obligation to a place he has no desire to be.

“I don’t know. I always say it's the kids, but you and I both know they aren’t kids anymore and they don’t need me like they used to. So I don’t really know,” he says. If only the real answer was something other than you.

“They’ll always need you, Steve. You know that. Maybe not in the same capacities, but they’ll always need their big brother, man,” Eddie says, knocking their shoulders together. “Besides, if they don’t, I do. I’ll never turn down a visit from you, Stevie. No matter where you’re visiting from.”

Steve has to look away from him to hide the way his skin flushes. Thinks to himself how lovely it is just to sit here with him. Thinks that he should just do it. Should just tell Eddie how he feels.

Looking down at his shoes he notices a few raindrops hit the gravel.

Scared of ruining the moment he steers them back to safer territory.

“You know, maybe I’ll go somewhere and one day I’ll visit and let you teach me how to play D&D,” he chides, pasting the smile back on his face.

This earns a shocked laugh from Eddie.

“Darling I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen,” he laughs.

Steve catches his eyes lingering on Eddie’s lips as his laughter fades into a pleased smile. Thinks Eddie catches him too. Doesn’t really care.

“Anything?” He asks.

Eddie’s voice takes on a much softer tone as he answers, “Yeah, sweetheart. Anything.”

Huffing a quiet laugh Steve looks back to the ground. Notices his shoes are now full of water, he hardly noticed the rain.

“Okay let’s get out of here before we lose light.”

The drive back home is comfortably quiet in the way it only can be with someone you understand deeply.

But that’s the thing. Steve doesn’t know Eddie deeply. Thinks he wants to.

It starts to slip out into the quiet among the hum of the engine.

“Eddie,” he hesitates. “I really like hanging out with you.” He finishes. Thinks way to go Steve, that tells him nothing.

Eddie laces his fingers between Steve’s resting on the gear shift.

“I like spending time with you too, big boy,” he says, smile in his voice.

Before he can spend any more time psyching himself out about it he bites the bullet.

“We should do it more often. Hang out, just you and me,” he says with a squeeze to Eddie’s hand.

He hears Eddie’s sigh as he puts the car in park. Immediately starts to do damage control, like he knows best. Just make them happy, Steve. Worry about yourself later.

“You just– you make me really happy, Eds. I just want you to know that, whether you want more or not,” he whispers, hoping that’s enough.

He feels Eddie’s hands on either side of his face.

“You made me happy too, Stevie. So happy.”

Eddie’s lips on his own feel like the start of a familiar movie.

Heart in his throat, Steve realizes he can’t recall the last time he was kissed. Especially not like this.

He realizes that Eddie touches him like no one else does.

Gentle.

Eyes still closed as his head rests back against the seat, he hears Eddie’s door open.

“Bye, sweetheart,” he says before the door is closed and he is alone.

A minute later Steve opens his eyes and sees that he’s at Robin’s house. Confused how he got here, he notices she’s sitting on the porch with a book.

Why isn't she wet from the rain?

Steve notices belatedly that his windshield is dry too.

No.

Not again.

He breathes in a shaky inhale and looks to his passenger seat praying to see the indent of a person, but knowing he won’t.

Instead sees his bag with his running shoes that he seldom uses, covered in a fine layer of dust.

He brings a hand up to drag down his face as his breathing picks up.

Feels wet.

Not rain.

Between one heaving sob and the next he feels a weight in his lap and Robin’s arms wrap around his neck.

Can faintly hear, “Breathe, Steve. You gotta breathe.”

He realizes how bad this time must be if Robin can look past her aversion to touching people to comfort him.

It hits him in the car, and it feels like the end of a movie he’s seen before.

It's been ten months since Eddie died.

Steve is not doing well.

inspired by the song “ceilings” by lizzie mcalpine. go listen to it immediately and report back to yell at me in the replies. <3

#I am so sorry #please forgive me for this #steddie #steddie ficlet #Steve is not doing well #this might go on ao3 #I haven't decided #steddie fic #I might write one for the song chemtrails also #tbd #sad steve harrington #not technically canon #but not ~not~ canon #gin writes #shot of gin

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 1 year

Text

No Simple Peace-Talks.

You alright Sora? You don’t look particularly chipper...

Not really...I’m just hoping the both of them are willing to hear me out. We kinda...had a fight before I came down to grab you.

Oh...What was it about?

Me removing me restraints. Kaede really wanted me to do it but...it just wasn’t that easy.

I get it...But hey, you managed to do it in the end, and nothing bad happened, right?

I guess...

Honestly Sora, I don’t think removing your shackles makes you violent. It just makes you let go your inhibitions. I doubt it makes you any more violent than a human in that case.

What? So it’s normal for humans to act violently out of rage and murder people?

Uuuh...Yes! That’s actually totally normal! It’s not good of course, but it’s not out of the ordinary.

Maybe it’s because you’ve never experienced it before that it seems foreign to you.

Well...I at least understand how the VOID’s feel now...

Monodam: AAAH!

Huh!?

What was that?

*Sora hears a voice down the end of the hallway. Or more accurately, a scream.

That was...Greenie!?

???: No! I’m not going to let this go!

Kaede: Hey! Back off!

That doesn’t sound good.

Sounds like there’s a fight going on...!? I-I’ve gotta go help!

*Sora closes the hatch of the Exisal and runs down the hallway in the direction of the scuffle. She bursts into what looks like a cafeteria room, raring to go!

Kaede! Greenie! I’m here to kick some-!

...!?

...What the hell am I looking at here?

*Sora stops in her tracks, as instead of seeing a violent scuffle, she instead sees Kaede sitting with her legs crossed in the center of the floor, with both Monodam and Monophanie sitting in a circle with her.

Sora! Hey! So uh...things happened and um...

“Things happened...” What “things?”

WELL...IT-WORKED-OUT-A-LITTLE-LIKE-THIS...

[Flashback to a few minutes earlier]

WHAT-DO-YOU-MEAN, SISTER?

Don’t you “sister” me! You heard what I said! Shirogane has abandoned us because of you!

Abandoned you how?

She went back on her promise! She’s not going to take us out the lab anymore! Now she’s trying to take matters into her own hands.

I knew she was desperate, so I should have expected as much...But giving up on you lot before you’ve even had a chance to finish the job?

IS-THIS...MY-FAULT?

Of course it is, dummy! The only thing I can do now is kill you both hoping Tsumugi changes her mind!

Listen Monophanie! If what you’ve said is true, then we have no reason left to fight!

And what would you do instead, human? You’ve murdered my brothers in cold steel! You really think mercy is an option?

Yeah...you know what? I do! I mean look!

Monodam and I could not be more different. We fought on opposing sides until recently, and I’m a human while he’s a bear.

But if the last few hours are anything to go by, I’ve found out...we actually make a great team!

Violence doesn’t always have to be the answer. In fact, it’s always great when it’s not! We can put our weapons down, and resolve this peacefully.

...

*A few seconds pass, and the Exisal hangar opens.

Really?

Uh...Yeah.

Are you sure?

Yes...I’m sure.

Are you really, REALLY sure?

I’m saying I don’t mind.

Yes, well...I’ve got a lot I need to complain about...We could be here all night if I start.

WELL-WE-DO-HAVE-A-LOT-OF-TIME.

Yeah!

A-Alright! I’m coming down! Prepare yourself!

HOW-DID-YOU-KNOW-THAT-WOULD-WORK?

I didn’t! Just figured I’d give it a shot!

So yeah, ever since then, we’ve just been hearing her whine about all her problems. And boy, she wasn’t kidding about having a lot.

So...you WEREN’T fighting?

Monodam was starting to get a little scared, so I had to calm her down a bit. But no, we’ve just been here chatting.

As I was saying that was ANOTHER time Monotaro acted like he totally forgot! But I KNOW what he’s like when he forgets, and I KNOW he was lying!

Right...You were talking about how Monokid was so emotionally distant, and then Monosuke and Monodam just can’t be trusted for anything, yeah?

I-AM-SORRY-MONOPHANIE. I-DID-NOT-REALIZE-YOU-WERE-STRUGGLING-LIKE-THIS. I-SHOULD-HAVE-BEEN-MORE-AWARE.

*sigh* It’s alright, just try to avoid it in the future. I won’t let you off easy if you betray me again.

Actually, before we move on...What’ve you been up to Sora? Have you made a decision?

Oh uh...well...

*Sora opens the hatch of the Exisal, unveiling her package.

I uh...I got something for you.

Heehee. Hello~

!!?

!!!??

Uh...Hello...?

YAMATO-KISARAGI. IT-IS-GREAT-TO-FINALLY-MEET-THE-LAB’S-CPU.

Wait, so this is our guy? The AI we were looking for?

AFFIRMATIVE. IT-APPEARS-KABUYA-SAMA-CHANGED-HER-MIND.

Sora...

Don’t take it the wrong way. I literally only did this because I want to see Yoruko again...I didn’t do this for you.

Sora already explained the situation to me. I apologize for everything I’ve done and I’m raring to g-

*CRAAAAAAAAASSHH!*

OOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

GAGH!?

!!!??

No! I can’t let you!

*Everyone is shocked as Monophanie suddenly jumps in her Exisal and tackles Sora and Yamato. Sora quickly closes the hatch to minimize damage.

Ugh! So much for talking things out!?

MONOPHANIE, WHAT-ARE-YOU-DOING!?

I...I...

What’s going on!? I thought we agreed to a ceasefire! Why are you attacking us!?

I am sorry Kaede. I really enjoyed our time together, but I cannot have you leaving the lab with Kisaragi-san!

Why not!?

If that lab gets to the main computer and shuts down the lab...we...We Monokubs will cease to exist!

!!!??

You...You what...!?

NO. THAT-IS-NOT-TRUE! YOU-DO-NOT-KNOW-WHAT-YOU’RE-TALKING-ABOUT!

Even if it’s not true, I don’t want to risk it! I don’t want to die, Monodam!

AND-I-DO-NOT-WANT-TO-LIVE-IF-IT-MEANS-BEING-TRAPPED-IN-HERE-FOREVER. I-SUPPOSE-WE-HAVE-NO-CHOICE.

*Monodam jumps in his Exisal and powers himself up.

KABUYA-SAMA! PROTECT-KISARAGI! LEAVE-MONOPHANIE-TO-MYSELF-AND-KAEDE.

You heard him Sora! Get out of here!

Sora: Right! Come on, let’s go! Yamato: Ok, you’re the pilot!

*Sora and Yamato bow out, and start to rush to safety, while Monophanie pursues them.

Hyagh!

!!?

*Kaede however, intercepts their advance, and knocks them back. Both she and Monodam stand in the way.

Monodam! I thought you just promised me you would take my side next time! Are you already breaking your promise!?

MONOPHANIE! TSUMUGI-SHIROGANE-HAS-TOLD-YOU-WHAT-YOU-KNOW-BECAUSE-SHE-WANTS-US-TO-FIGHT! DO-YOU-NOT-SEE!?

He’s right! And it doesn’t need to come to this, honest!

I’m not dealing with anything that’s going on well, and frankly, I’m really stressed out! But you know what?

I can take it all! Because I’m not dealing with it alone! I’m moving forward, but only because I’m doing it with Sora and Monodam, TOGETHER!

...!

...

So adorable! But if that’s how you see it, you can DIE TOGETHER!

HERE-SHE-COMES!

Let’s do this!

//Kaede Akamatsu and Monodam VS Monophanie//

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa another 2 #sdra2 #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #kaede akamatsu #sora #monodam #monophanie #yamato kisaragi #ask #rise and shine arc

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lemonboyfest · 3 months

Text

reminders

reminders for 2024:

You’re not dead yet. Get the fuck up. Drag your corpse kicking and screaming into tomorrow. One day you will stop surviving and start living

more studying, more walks, more reading, more skill-based hobbies, more experimenting w pretty fits and hairstyles, more gym, more exploring new things in general, more whole foods/healthy recipes, more financial literacy, more time management, more time off the phone, more being out the loop. nothing else matters

hrmm. well hold on now ive been filled with a sudden joy and whimsy for the world

Glowing kind of love

fuck beauty standards. someone looking at you with love in their eyes is the most beautiful thing in the world.

as a girl who is literally just a girl i am always yearning. always longing always missing always wearing my heart on my sleeve. always feeling like my heart is on the verge of exploding. the sight of the sun makes me cry. anyway

i hope that when i die there will be an apartment with everyone i’ve ever loved in it and we are together always

read a lot and read everything

film and art and music are what builds ur soul

be outside

love and romance will not come to you any quicker if you are focused on it constantly

possessions don't improve things

movement does improve things

university is <4 years of the rest of your life - make the most of it

find the pleasure in hard work

lose the pleasure in scrolling

creation is essential

joy, love & intelligence are the tenets of life

stagnation isn't inevitable. no person is in a fixed state. you can always change

i love listening to someone’s favorite song its like im mentally holding their hand

you just had an epiphany about your sexuality? just own it. you like this unpopular thing your friends don’t like? just own it. you’re trans? just own it. you’re doing something unconventional? just own it. you’re completely free to share your reasons, but you don’t have to justify why you made the decisions you made. if you disclose something and a friend makes a face, okay well that’s too bad bc that’s who you are. they’re free to leave if what makes you a person doesn’t sit right w them. you don’t need to explain the why and the how and the when as if you’re trying to outrun their disapproval. be confident enough in yourself that you don’t feel the need to owe anyone an explanation. you’re you and that’s that.

what im learning is that you cannot avoid your way into a life you enjoy

i have the opposite of that “everyone is an npc” mentality people have embraced where i’m instead like. the person next to me in line has someone they can’t wait to go home to, the person picking up their mail has felt devastation before, everyone in this grocery store is doing their sunday shopping, maybe the person that just honked at me is having the worst day of their life, my neighbor has doctors appointments and favorite foods and a song they can’t stand to hear anymore… you are all fully realized complex people and that is overwhelming me on a spiritual level…

"omg you'll post 'i need him' on the most average men" "she's mid" most of us are average and it's good that we can find beauty and desire in average people .... on god FELT. i really need to start practicing this though. i get so complacent in my complacence i listen to my friends and i try so hard to fit in i insult people for no reason there is so much more to them than their aesthetics and if i do not find them attractive then what is to say someone else doesn't why do i feel the need to invalidate why am i rude ? people are all beautiful i need to remind myself . changing

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kitsofkats89 · 9 months

Text

WIRE IN THE BLOOD X FEM OC

(MOLLY HAS GOTTEN BADLY INJURED ON A CASE AND ALEX REFUSED TO LEAVE HER SIDE)

Alex sat in the van anxiously besides Tony as they heard Mollys voice on the radio talking to the suspected killer Kevin and Paula on stand by Tony swallowed “this isn’t right.. he’s not going to stay calm forever.” He spoke glancing at Alex who ignored him “Dr Derek-!” Before she could continue her words changed to gasps and yelps as a loud movement could be heard Alex shot up yet Tony grabbed her back “not yet Alex- I know this is hard- but we have to wait!” Tony eased the woman holding her still “Doctor-! Ngh- your not as sly as you want people to think!-“. Mollys voice rang out as she chocked slightly on her words “They had what was coming!-“ The doctors voice ran out as Molly let out a small whimper of pain “why?- because they told you how much of a no good for nothing asshole of a doctor?- AH!” molly yelled out as a loud crash was heard “MOLLY!?” Alex yelled worried squirming away from Tony as Molly grunted out “shoot me then doctor. But I warn you now- I’m not going down without a fight!” Tony’s eyebrows quirked “she’s taken in my advice. I thought she wasn’t paying attention she was.. he hates patients who fight back and argue.. causes him stress and for him to get sloppy..” Tony mumbled and a shot rang out and Mollys sharp cry rang out in the van “mm- the thigh! How noble of you!” She hissed out in pain as the doctor scoffed suddenly and molly let out a sound of protest suddenly “Dear, Dear molly. So stubborn. Do you fight because this makes you feel better and relive your past experiences? Make you fight harder like when you were younger and now you have the power to actually hit and scream “no” it makes you feel better am I right? To know your finally pushing back.” The doctor snarled as molly fell quiet in disbelief “I bet if I were to rip your shirt off you’d be covered in head to two in old scars and bruises. Perhaps even self harm cuts even. I bet it kills you doesn’t it. The fact everyone around you is falling in love and your falling behind in the category.” The doctor continued as Molly suddenly let out an angry yell as she smacked the doctor away “you couldn’t possibly know anything about me!- your just an emotionless wind up doll! You do anything you ordered to! Hell you’d probably kill your self if your so called god told you too!-“ Molly screamed out in frustration “of course he would Molly..” Tony replied sighing out “your afraid why not admit it Molly? Why turn to violence so fast? Is it because everything you touch no matter how gently ends up covered in scratch marks-“ There was a sound of a struggle before another two shits rang out “EVERYONE IN NOW!” Alex barked out having enough of this waiting around Alex and Tony rushed out as the FBI kicked open the door the doctor lay on the ground bleeding from his side as he gasped “your lucky Doctor.” Alex growled before her eyes fell on Molly who clutched her shoulder blood pooling from the gun shot wound from it and her thigh Tony was already by her side quickly “GET AN AMBULANCE IN HERE NOW!!” Alex screamed out.

A soft beeping echoed through the room as Molly lay on the hospital bed her wounds stitched up as Alex sat besides her bed Tony by the other side when the door creaked open and a nurse entered causing Molly to grow silent as she stared “hello. Right just a few questions.. how long ago did the bleeding from the thigh start?” Mollys eyes immediately darted to Alex who sighed out “around.. 10:34.” The woman answered as Molly rested her hands in her lap awkwardly “right.. that’s fine.. uh sorry are you her…” The nurse trailed off awkwardly “Boss. And he’s her.. coworker.” Alex quickly spoke as Molly stayed silent the Nurse nodded as she turned “okay. Well she needs to make sure she keeps away from field work. And change the bandages ever night until the bleeding slowly down and then every two days.” The nurse continued as she write down the information Alex nodded as Molly glanced over “I’ll make sure she does that.” Alex replied stern as she crossed her arms.

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pukepond · 1 year

Text

Reunion. Farewell.

(The Walking Dead DR)

Kind of rushed

My new father opened the door for me to reveal my mother, lying motionless on a bed I was unfamiliar with.

Her lovely dark hair was plastered to her face due to the heat of a fever I knew wouldn’t break.

She took a long look at me. She said, “Little girls shouldn’t walk around with weapons strapped to their waist.”

She was referring to the weapons on my belt. I said, “Little girls without them don’t survive.”

She didn’t like what I had to say, or that I was right. Something is always trying to rip you apart, whether it be teeth or bullets. I still dropped my belt of weapons to the floor and kicked them where she couldn’t see them.

My father stood in the corner of the room, arms crossed cruelly.

“How have you survived this long on your own?” she asked, almost undetectable guilt setting into her voice.

“I wasn’t alone. I stayed with Carol’s group.”

“They all survived.”

“No. People came and went. They came and stayed. There’s not much of the original group.”

“Give me some of them. Give me names I’m familiar with.”

“Um.”

I stood there, basking in all of the lives lost. Basking in all of the names running through my head. Andrea. Dale. Shane. T Dog. Merle. Lori. Little Sofia.

“Diane. You know I hate that word.”

“You’re talking to me like nothing’s changed.”

“Everything has changed, but you are still my daughter. When I have a question you will answer it, even if I’m at the edge of death. I can take the answer.”

“Let’s talk about something happy Mom.”

I hardly ever called her that. “Diane. Tally up the losses for me. I want to know who I’m going to see again.”

“I don’t remember much from the original group. Our camp got attacked and a lot of them died. Andrea’s sister got bitten. And that little family left. A few people committed suicide before we got to Herschel’s farm. Does it matter how they died?”

She sounded softer now.

“No Diane, it doesn’t matter. Give me the names of the ones you remember.”

“Dale. Shane. Lori died giving birth. She has a little girl named Judith. T Dog died. Ed died. Sofa died.”

She sat up a little straighter.

“Sofia died?”

“A long time ago. She died young.”

“You’re still young.”

“Glenn died too. Quite recently.” I said. Staring daggers at my father. He seemed unbothered.

“How’d Glenn die?”

“He just cracked his skull open with a baseball bat.”

My mother didn’t say anything.

The room dissolved into silence and I could feel my father’s eyes on me.

“Diane.”

“Yes?”

“I think it’s time. The fever is getting too strong.”

“Mother I can’t.”

“Diane hold me.”

I rushed to the side of her bed. Negan stood at the foot of it, staring at us.

“I love you Diane. I’ve had a bad way of showing it. Kill me now sweetheart, I can’t turn into one of them.”

She was deathly calm. Serious. She was a woman who had nothing left and knew her fate, but I was breathing heavily and on the verge of screaming.

“No. I can’t kill you. I just got you back, you can’t leave me. Don’t leave me mom.”

“Hold my hand Di. Look at me.”

I stared into her eyes. I realized how scarily they looked like mine.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so so so sorry Diane. I’m so glad you lived. You need to keep living. Don’t end up like me. Reproduce. Help repopulate the Earth. Live a normal life. Don’t be like me and your father.”

She wasn’t making sense. She pulled me closer to her, her warm breath hitting my face.

“That Carl is a fine young man.”

After she got those words out, the spasms started. I stood there shocked. Our time had run out. My mother turned suddenly and violently. She dived towards me, jaw opening and closing while she was trying to get at my throat. That’s when the screaming started.

“Mom! Stop we’re not finished!”

“Kill her!” Negan screamed. “We’re out of time kill her!”

“I can’t! She’s my mom! I can’t kill her!”

“Shit Diane!”

He put her in a headlock.

“Come on she’s gonna bite me Diane!”

I grabbed my hatchet that I kicked to the floor. I was staring at her eyes, my eyes. I lifted the hatchet above my head and planted it into hers. Her eyes shut and the raspy noise coming from her throat stopped. My mother’s blood was everywhere and I could finally feel warm tears streaming down my face.

I ran to the bathroom, hatchet in hand and turned on the sink. I scrubbed my hands desperately trying to get rid of the stench of murder. I looked in the mirror again. My eyes were watering. They looked so much like hers. For the first time in my life I looked like her. Her eyes were taunting me from the dead.

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lovelovex · 2 years

Note

how do you feel right now, Sunshine? it’s been a few rough months. hope you are resting and feeling the love I am sending you <3

oof i’ve been thinking ab it a lot lately, this is gonna be a long one

‘rough’ doesn’t even begin to cover it, i honest to god thought i’d d-word in june bc i’ve never ever Ever felt this hopeless and miserable, dealing w the drama in one particular circle of friends is nothing new, realizing my other circle of friends is falling apart was smth that almost broke me

but the thing is, and i’m only saying this now after two weeks in the clear, rough times bring you closer, honesty brings you closer and i’ve always known that but it completely slipped my mind during the two months in hell

i always have such a hard time letting ppl go and the number of goodbyes i’ve said and will say in the near future is devastating but if that’s what happens to me in this life, there’s nothing i can do to stop this, can’t help everyone, can’t save someone who doesn’t need saving, can’t make them realize we have smth that’s worth holding on to if they refuse to see it, and you have no idea how hard it’s been to make peace w that but a bitch’s gotta stop playing the victim at some point

rn i can say i just feel… calm? there’s a pressing matter of if i should just quit my job but the rest of it i’ve dealt w, w the help of the ppl who are on my side and they didn’t have to but still proved it while i was doubting everyone and everything, who basically dragged me kicking and screaming out of the pit of despair i was honestly planning to stay in forever

so yeah, ppl left, the ‘love’ i thought was there left w them too but i still have so much of it in my life, real, genuine love that i can feel w my heart and that i don’t have to doubt anymore, that makes me feel safe, makes me feel whole and at home

once again only saying this after two weeks in the clear, but i even feel grateful it happened now and not five more years down the line, who knows how i would’ve handled it then, everything that’s happened to us brought us right where we are now, and where i am now i can focus on the good parts, the wonderful things that have happened this summer that are going to change everything for the better and bring us even closer if we choose to

#sometimes i still get sad thinking of everyone i had to let go but then i’m always reminded of everyone who stayed #untangling yourself even from a five-year relationship is not easy but we’ll get there #so much changed in the span of two months and life won’t ever be the same and thank god #i love my friends and i love being loved by my friends that’s all that matters to me #this is what i get for checking my inbox at 1am #ask

0 notes

thegrandlinesimp · 2 years

Note

Hi hi!! Welcome to the world of being a scenario owner’s blog! Sending you creative vibes ♡

Since your request is open…. I see that you ship Kid & Killer and you’re ok with polygamous relationship, so can we have a poly with these two and reader, please? I would love to have some fluff set in canon omegaverse world! Maybe with an Omega!Female s/o?

I hope this is enough information, but do let me know if you need more details, and feel free to change anything if it means it’ll inspire you more!

Thank you and I hope you have fun writing this request! 🍀

Ok so I got real excited and ended up thinking of a bunch of things for this one so imma talk about the boys separately and then together…it’ll make sense when you read it.

Also, as I’ve stated in my rules I write strong female characters, and you certainly have to be one to deal with both these guys 😆

Kid’s is only longer because of an explanation at the beginning that also applies to Killer so it wasn’t repeated in his.

And thank you so much for the warm welcome 🤗

Warning: reference to Japan’s age of consent in Kid’s, nothing to do with reader or sex though, but if that makes you squeamish you have been warned.

Alpha!Kid/Alpha!Killer/Omega!Reader Fluff Headcanons

Kid

Right, let’s just get one thing straight first, in order for you - an Omega female - to even be considered a spot on Kid’s crew, you’d have to be great at kicking ass. Beyond exceptional for him to want to want you as his mate

Bear with me here

You’d have to be able to hold your own in a fight, kick down nearly any Alpha that came your way

Cause here’s the thing, Kid’s been by Killer’s side for a huge portion of his life, and I can see them becoming mates around the time Kid was 16 (Killer told him to wait till he was at the age of consent when he asked the blonde, Kid was 14 then)

Case in point, he’s not used to the idea of having to constantly look out for his mate while fighting, as Killer is more than capable of taking care of himself

So don’t expect him to white knight his way into saving you unless you actively scream for help

But other than that, Kid is surprisingly affectionate

And, contrary to what most believe, he’s not incredibly possessive. This again stems with his relationship with Killer, who never looked twice at anyone else but his captain

Kid’s used to loyalty, and knows you can handle yourself - despite being an Omega

So, if any other Alpha approaches you, he’s not the type to get all possessive, but more he’ll relish in the sight of his Omega pummelling some would be pervert of an Alpha into the dirt, though he’ll insist on finishing them off himself, he’s still a tiny bit possessive just like any other Alpha and needs the satisfaction

But he is the one to drape an arm around your shoulders when exploring a new town, not to pull you too close so as to smother you with his scent and body, but more as a silent message to onlookers that you’re spoken for

Then there’s drunk Kid

Has no shame in pulling you into his lap, one hand on your waist, a stein in the other

Man is your biggest fan

“This is y/n, she’s taken down every Alpha Marine she’s ever faced!”

Doesn’t care if you’re embarrassed by it, man wants to sing you praises about how he has such a strong, awesome Omega for a mate!

Will make out with you if he feels the need to

Don’t bother complaining about how his breath reeks of alcohol, he’ll use it as an excuse to nibble your neck instead

Drunk Kid is horny Kid no matter the AU

But he’s not for overly soft displays of affection, at least, not in public

In the privacy of his workshop though, he’s more than happy for you to sit on his lap and watch him work, giving the top of your head little nuzzles every now and then

Ah, then there’s your hair

If you have long hair and don’t mind him playing with it, he’s gonna

Thank Killer for this little habit, Kid’s just so used to playing with his hair that yours is no different

Most of the time this soft tulip doesn’t even know he’s curling strands of your locks around his fingers

If he’s mildly grumpy he will drag you away to the bedroom for mandatory cuddles!

Picture him on the bed, cross legged, you on his lap, back to his chest and his chin atop your head, arms wrapped around you with a great big pout of his face

Your scent is what calms him when he’s in these moods, and since you’re too small to envelop him, he’ll just envelop you

All in all, a soft, loud Alpha who loves his Omega very dearly

Killer

Public wise, he’s a lot more reserved than his Alpha mate

If another Alpha is bothering you and Kid isn’t around, he’ll approach the situation calmly and if you haven’t knocked them on their ass by the time he arrives place a hand on your shoulder

“Is everything alright, y/n?”

Will not hesitate to punch a bitch if you know you can’t take them on

He’s glad for a strong, smart Omega who knows when to pick her battles, he’s already got a hard enough job babysitting one knot-headed mate, let alone two!

If you have long hair like him, he’ll help you braid it, you don’t even have to do his in return

Though he loves it when you offer and do so

Heard Kid muttering about how he thinks the matching braids are cute, but Killer knows to never tell a soul

Was incredibly nervous the first time he took his mask off in front of you

But the look you have him as you said how handsome he is, made all his anxieties melt away

Man vowed to protect you till his last breath

Loves cooking/baking little treats for you

Other crew members have jokingly asked “hey, where’s my cupcake?”

Killer never answers but Kid feels the need to

“Y/N’s only getting one cause she suck-“

It’s usually at this point Killer hits his Captain/mate over the head with a baking tray/fry pan/whatever’s on hand

He was the one to buy you a nest base (it’s like a round, thick futon with thicker edges, the use is in the name)

Then Kid felt the need to get you something as well, ended up getting you a knife cause he thought it looked cool, that was the first time you heard Killer chuckle

Out of the two he was the one to ask you if you wanted to mark him back, since conventionally it’s only the Alpha who does the marking

Kid was immediately all for the idea

The three of you now have matching dual bite marks, one on each side of the neck

Both

(you have no idea how long it took to find a gif with both them in it, that should be a fucking crime!)

Had no idea they needed an Omega crew member till you came along

With a crew of mostly Alpha males a lot of fights used to break out, especially during stressful times

But after you joined it was like your mere presence put the whole crew at ease

Really, it’s because they all now have the unified goal of “protect the precious Omega” they know you can handle yourself, but their instincts don’t

They both love how, while you’re an absolute bad ass Omega, you still manage to mother the other crew members, scolding them when the odd fight broke out

Kid laughs when they hang their heads in shame

In a way you completed their pack of misfits

Both love it when you wear their clothes, whether it’s just because it’s there or you need their scent on you and they’re not available at the time, they just love it

Killer’s shirts look like short dresses and he sometimes double checks he’s wearing his mask cause his face is just that red

If you greet Kid in nothing but his coat he’ll get on his knees for you, man’s putty in your hands

It was when you were still new to the relationship but had started sleeping in their cabin that things got really interesting

Mainly, when you started nesting

Kid didn’t know how to feel when he came back to his cabin to find the bed sheets and all his and Killer’s unwashed clothes missing, along with his Omega

Killer, of course, was the voice of reason

“She probably didn’t want to freak us out by making her nest in the cabin.”

Which had been thoughtful, considering neither had ever heat-shared with an Omega

But Kid, of course, got snappy

“Well…I want it in our cabin!”

Such a bratty child

Eventually they found you in a storage room, your nest almost finished

Kid stormed over to the nest

“No, no, not here!”

“Kid, wait, don’t!”

But Killer couldn’t stop him in time as he proceeded to pick up a large portion of clothes and blankets, nearly half of your carefully constructed nest

Effectively ruining it

“Put it back! Put it back!” Killer was shrieking shouting

Kid had no idea what he’d done wrong till he saw you silently sobbing, a little tremble in your body as you stared at the remains of your nest

“Shit, fuck, no, wait! I didn’t mean to-“

And then you burst into tears

Killer was the one to calm you down while Kid sat in the corner looking like a kicked puppy

Though it did give you the opportunity to remake your nest in the cabin

Kid was very apologetic, even gave you his prized coat as nesting material, felt like he’d melted when you wrapped yourself in it before snuggling down into the finished nest

A few days later…you went into heat

Kid was panicking, boy had only ever been around Alphas and had no idea how to care for you

Killer was more level headed, managing to snap his mate out of his panic attack

“All we have to do is remain calm, get her what she needs when she needs it, and everything’ll be okay.”

“Wh-…what about the sex bit?”

“…What she needs when she needs it, Kid.”

Tulip saw how out of it you already were and was honestly scared of hurting you

Killer was the first in the nest, Kid having learned a hard lesson in the storage room and so was worried about messing up your creation again

Killer struggled not to laugh when his mate literally ended up tiptoeing into the nest

But he slipped and landed on his ass when his heel shoved a blanket more than a few inches to the right

Both Alphas froze

But you just blinked, and calmly moved Kid’s foot out of the way before rearranging the blanket

They both let out breaths they didn’t even know they’d been holding

Not even Killer could suppress his chuckle as you arranged them to lay down on either side of you, your warming body pressed between theirs

Kid smiled at your resting form as Killer tucked your hair behind your ear

You may be a bad ass little Omega, but you’re their bad ass little Omega

And they wouldn’t have it any other way

#eustass kid #massacre soldier killer #kid x killer #omegaverse #one piece #one piece headcanons #kid x killer x reader #kid x reader #alpha!kid #alpha!killer #omega!reader #fluff #killer x reader #female reader #100 #my writing

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earlgreydream · 3 years

Text

time for us.

| loki x reader | angst | fluff |

anon requested. loki has been working a lot lately and hasn’t really had anytime for the reader and he completely forgets about their anniversary and she doesn’t tell him for a couple of days but then he snaps at her and they have a huge argument

a/n: this doesn’t have any spoilers for the show— just mention that Loki works for the TVA (which isn’t canon at the time of me writing this)

You loathed Loki’s new job, working for the Time Variance Authority.

Ever since Loki began at the TVA, they’d managed to occupy nearly all of his time and energy, leaving little to none left for you. Your relationship was strong, but only a few weeks of work had put a strain on the two of you.

He’d become more short tempered, and easily agitated. You tried to be patient, but little things seemed to antagonize you, and soon every small thing was becoming huge.

Above all, you hated to fight with Loki. You bottled up your frustration, shoving them down inside of you and keeping them hidden and locked away. Your limited time with Loki was precious, and you didn’t want to poison it with your annoyance. However, it was doing damage that you hadn’t yet comprehended, building a pressurized weapon that was bound to explode.

It took weeks, but the explosion came.

Loki had been so caught up in work that he missed your anniversary. It had escaped his mind entirely, passing like any other day. He was distracted by variants running wild, and the need to please his new boss. He felt responsible for things that were going wrong, and he had put your relationship on the backburner.

You’d been certain he’d take you out during the night, or at least do something to acknowledge the anniversary of your love, but you’d been dead wrong. You waited at home as hours passed, and when his normal arrival time had long passed, the pain in your chest grew until your entire body was throbbing with hurt.

You took your makeup off, along with the pretty dress you wore-- the green one that your husband adored.

Loki had stayed late at work, taking overtime and showing up just before ten. You were so hurt you could hardly speak, but Loki’s mind was too muddled with work to even notice. You were already in bed when he returned home, and he’d kissed your forehead and gone to sleep with less than five words leaving his lips.

You laid awake in bed that night, staring at the wall. You should have told Loki you were angry, said something then and at least gotten it in the open. But you shoved it down with everything else— every other hurt and grievance and annoyance that poisoned you.

“Can you set that down, please?” You asked, four days later. You tried to keep your tone even, but you were impatient. The bite in your words was all you could do to keep from tearing the file from his delicate hands.

Loki was in the kitchen, his face buried in a variant case file. He was supposed to be helping you make dinner, but you were dismissed and cast aside once again as his work outshined you.

“I’m working, Y/N! It’s important. Don’t you want me to get paid so you can have your pretty things?” Loki snapped, shocking you.

“No!” You screamed, slamming the cabinet door shut.

He stared at you, turquoise eyes wide in shock at your outburst. He dropped the file on the counter, a harsh glare adorning his stunning face.

“No, Loki! I don’t fucking care about the pretty things. I don’t even know that I care about YOU!” The words were coming out before you could stop them.

“You don’t care about me?! All I ever do is for you!” Loki met your anger, matching your energy and only fueling the fire of rage that was building in your stomach.

“You’re such a selfish liar! You don’t give a fuck about me, Loki! You’re in a relationship with your bullshit job, you don’t give a damn about me! All of your time and your energy... and fuck, even your kindness goes to the stupid fucking TVA!! There’s nothing left for me, and I don’t want your scraps!” You shoved him back when he took a step toward you.

“I’m selfish? You’re needy and dramatic! You’re a spoiled brat, acting out when not every ounce of my attention is being given to you. What, you’re mad that I didn’t help you make this salad? Grow up, Y/N!” Loki’s hateful words poured out, tasting like acid in his mouth.

“No! I’m mad that you forgot our anniversary and that you haven’t seen how much you’ve hurt me!” Tears burned as they streamed down your face, blurring your vision that was bleeding at the edges.

Loki’s lips parted, and realization suddenly crossed his features. He took a step back, recognizing his anger had spiraled out of control, and that your anger was justified.

“I didn’t mean it… I do care about you, I just want you to care about me.” Your voice broke, and shaky hands went to your mouth, stifling a sob. Guilt swelled in Loki’s chest as he saw you fall apart, unable to bear the weight of your anger.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t know how I’ve forgotten. Please, my love, forgive me,” Loki’s tone softened, and he knelt down to his knees before you.

He didn’t care about the messy floors ruining his perfect suit, nothing mattered to him then except for you.

“I shouldn’t have gotten so angry, I just miss you,” you were weeping, unable to hold the sobs at bay.

“It’s okay, scream and cry if you need to, but know I love you more than anything and I am terribly, terribly sorry.”

Loki gently pulled you forward, closing his arms around you. His forehead rested against your stomach, and you laid your hands on top of his head.

“I know. I know,” you stammered in shaky breaths. Your fingers trembled as you dragged them through his hair, overwhelmed with every emotion that washed over you all at once.

You got home from work, a couple of days after your fight. You had both apologized, easing the tension over. Loki hadn’t stopped apologizing, even when you promised him it was okay. It had been better since-- you weren’t keeping secrets or harboring anger, and you felt exceedingly better in the aftermath of your fight.

You walked into your master suite, considering a hot bath or a shower after your day. You were lost in your thoughts as you kicked your shoes off, before turning to the bed. A dress was laid out on the end of the bed, glittery heels and jewelry in a box beside it. Loki wasn’t home, but a note was attached, telling you to get dressed and he’d meet you.

You smiled, lifting the black cocktail dress. You changed, fixing your hair and makeup in the mirror. Your day at work had been long, and you didn’t know what Loki had in store for you, but you were excited.

The lock clicked open on the door, signaling the arrival of your husband. You stepped into the foyer to greet him, met with Loki in an all-black suit. A grin spread across his expression as he noticed you, making warmth bloom in your chest.

“You look-” you both started at the same time.

You smiled and tilted your head, letting him speak.

“You look beautiful,” Loki spoke softly before giving you a kiss.

“Thank you. You look sharp. What’s the occasion, what are we doing?”

“I’m so sorry I missed our anniversary. I thought we could celebrate us tonight.”

You broke into a grin, nodding excitedly.

“Yes. Yes, let’s do it.”

“Of course. Let me set my things down,” he kissed your cheek and stepped into your master, cleaning up and dropping his bag.

You were driven to a fancy restaurant, one hand in Loki’s as the other smoothed over the wheel of his black sports car. He dropped the keys with a valet, and you were escorted to a table in the back of the place.

“Wine, Mrs. Laufeyson?”

“Please,” you nodded, and the waiter poured you a glass of sparkling pink moscato.

“I’ve gotten us a suite at the resort in the city. I have a bag packed for you in the car, I thought we could enjoy a weekend away. You deserve it,” Loki brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles.

“You’re spoiling me,” you giggled, sipping your wine.

“As I should be.”

Elaborate French dishes were brought out on gorgeous plates, looking like something from a food blog. It tasted divine, and Loki told you some history about the dish from some time he was living or traveling in Paris. You listened to his animated stories, thinking about how you were so in love with him.

“Why’re you staring at me like that?” Loki laughed softly, spooning sorbet into your mouth.

“Because I love you. And you’re charming and cute when you get excited,” you confessed with a grin.

“I love you too. I’m sorry about everything,” he apologized.

“It’s okay. We’re past it. Time moves forward for us.”

Loki nodded, leaning forward and smearing a kiss over your temple before retrieving your car from the valet.

“To the hotel?” he asked, sliding his hands over your hips and kissing your neck as you waited.

“Okay,” you giggled, squirming in his arms.

He squeezed your bum, making you gasp before opening the door for you, helping you into the passenger seat.

When you arrived at the hotel, there was a bouquet of roses on the table, and candles burning around. He kissed the back of your head, setting your bag down for you.

“Let me make this up to you,” his voice was deep as he unzipped your dress.

“Please,” you smiled, turning in his arms and pulling him into a heated kiss.

#earl grey loki #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki angst #loki fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader angst #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki imagine #loki oneshot #loki disney+#marvel #marvel au #avengers #avengers au #female reader

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leviiattacks · 3 years

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May I request a Levi x Reader angst fic? Just barely any fluff, mostly angst going on lol. The reader is a traitor, formaly working for Marley, but betraying them in secret and putting their loyalty on Paradis. The reader is also a shifter and married to Levi for a couple of years. That love and care however is gone once readers identity is found. He truly despises them, insults them, maybe a bit violent with them, and outright tells them that they mean nothing to him anymore and hate them to bits. Readers punishment is to hand over her titan to Erwin, and they agree instantly, broken over everything, believing its all their fault. Once Erwin inherits Readers titan, he breaks down and screams, crying, because Reader was innocent the whole time. They never betrayed Paradis. Never killed anyone, never harmed anyone. They finaly know why they betrayed Marley, the abuse being to much for them, enough to just leave them behind for Paradis. Just... loving and caring as they all saw them. But now the damage is done. They wont come back, they're dead, believing that they died, hated and despised, with no one to mourn their death. Everyone regrets everything.

author note :: i was thinking of leaving this in my drafts but i already wrote it and may as well post it. it didn’t end up going the way i hoped but yeah i hope it’s ok anon. anyways ANGST. ANGST, ANGST. as always i love feed back :-) ⟹ all of the headings with the years are just meant to mean it’s a different moment from that year so those moments don’t happen right after each other i hope that makes sense!! word count :: 7.2k warnings :: canon typical violence, death

845, i.

Everything is falling in place when it shouldn't.

Sun never makes itself known in Liberio yet here it is shining down onto the bustling streets. You half expect for it to crash down and burn into the hundreds of civilians going about their daily business yet nothing of the sort happens. It's typical sunlight and you curse yourself silently for your sinister thoughts.

Secretly the voice at the back of your mind still whispers frantically but you don't wish to hear what it has to say. Instead you choose to drown it out with the sound of Zeke's voice. Finally deciding to pay attention to what it is he's been droning on about for the past ten minutes.

"Soon, soon, soon." He sighs dreamily looking a little delirious.

"Soon?"

Your question catches him off guard, he lightly shoves you with his elbow scoffing in annoyance.

"Did you sit here to not even listen to me?" He turns to take a sip of whisky and the hearty gulp he chugs shows his mild irritation. You assume he's been rambling on about Marley's plan to infiltrate Paradis. You have to admit that the idea of destroying those demons from the inside is amazingly well thought out. However it's all he's been able to discuss for the entire week now and frankly you're getting a little exhausted of it.

"I zoned out..." Quietly placing your glass back down onto the wooden counter you sigh closing your eyes. It's too early to be drinking and you don't trust Zeke enough to slip into ignorance and leave yourself vulnerable. Men are to not be trusted, especially Eldian men. The thought of Eldians triggers your flight of fight response, you want to shrivel up into a cocoon and never come out until the world is rid of the monsters. The lowest of the low, the dirt in between the crevices of Marleyan soldier's boots. That is what Eldian's are.

It's ironic coming from you, your entire family labelled as undesirable Eldians yourself but you, you know you're different. An honorary Marleyan is what you will become. What you are. The treacherous imps who are but an ocean away are the true evil.

Eyes flicking to Zeke he's lighting a cigar. Old habits die hard and he's yet to quit this self destructive custom of his. You couldn't care less if he chooses to cut his lifespan short by ten years, it's his own choice to make. A disgusting cowardly choice but it's a choice fit for an untamed man like him.

The Island Devils are said to be the bad apples but you can't help but stare at your fellow citizens from time to time and wonder what it is they could be hiding. If a demon slipped through the cracks you wouldn't be surprised. Sly in nature, persuasive in tone, that is how devils go about their daily lives alone The hymns they drilled into you all the way through elementary school echo and rebound in your mind.

Locking your bitter thoughts away you have to push yourself to not punt Zeke in the mouth when he teasingly blows a puff of hot smoke into your face.

Fingertips grazing with his he freezes at the sudden contact giving you the perfect opportunity to slip his cigar away and take it in between your lips. You allow for it to linger there but you aren't foolish enough to inhale its contents.

"Zeke, my dear friend. We shall soon be met with the fruits of our own labour but I assure you that discussing Marley's plan constantly will be of no benefit for you nor I."

The day you and Zeke had met had been at warrior training camp. Zeke was a miserable, unmotivated oaf. Always tripping and falling behind the rest of the warrior cadets. You felt rather bad for him, if you were born as unskilled as him you don't know what you would have made of yourself. Zeke, the only child of his parents ironically only ever ended up rising through the ranks after handing them over to the Marleyan government. His father and mother had been conspiring an escape plan but were executed immediately alongside their fellow team members once Zeke had outted them. Unexpectedly he was spared, the fact he turned on his own parents showed where his loyalties were. To his surprise, he was even allowed to continue his training with the other warriors - only this time everyone kept an increased distance away from him. The warriors weren't informed of what he had actually done but everyone had a gut feeling. Everyone apart from you stuck with that feeling. You thought strategically, If he were to become an enemy in the future you knew being close would come at your advantage.

The day you and Zeke had met your mother died, his mother passed away the same day. At least that's what he had told you.

The two of you bonded over the little things, told each other stories about your life at home. Reminisced about what it was you missed.

Then it all came crashing down the day Zeke confessed. The day he told you he killed his mother and father by handing them over to Marley. Your knees buckled underneath you, crashing the floor he tried to grab at you but you thrashed around in retaliation kicking and screaming not understanding why he did what he did. Yes, they were traitors but they were his parents and if the monster had the nerve to turn on the people who gave birth to him who's to say he wouldn't do the same to you or to Marley.

Zeke doesn't know it but ever since then you take the opportunity to sneak the occasional glance at him. Every single time you narrow your eyes in malice. If there's a man in Liberio who you don't trust in the slightest it's him, he must think the feud between the two of you from childhood has been put at rest but it hasn't.

Zeke takes another swig of his alcohol. On this occasion he downs it entirely slamming the glass down with vigour.

"ONE MORE GLASS BARTENDER!"

846, i.

Another day of extensive training is about to end, your back is layered in uncomfortable layers of sweat and the same can be said for your forehead. Kneeling down in the under layer of the forest you're hidden waiting to strike. Going up against the elites is nerve-wracking but you're sure you can pull it off so long as you stay calm during this game of hunters against prey.

It's simple enough if you can conceal yourself and stay out of sight. The robust trees that surround you act as decent enough camouflage and your green cape paired with them lets you veil yourself, keeping you further into the foreground, blending into the environment.

No one will be able to catch you if they can't see you.

All of a sudden your previous thoughts are thrown away when you sense something in the atmosphere has changed, the hissing of the wind behind you isn't natural.

Turning to your side you don't bother to cover up the sound of leaves rustling and branches cracking, your priority is slipping away fast enough to hide again, a tug can be felt at your cloak and your reaction time barely covers for you, your gear fastens itself to a low enough tree branch and the descent is mind numbing. Your breakfast churns in your stomach but you ignore the uneasy feeling, leaping and diving wherever you find a small enough gap. You believe you can outrun your huntsman.

That is until you sneak a glance back and your muscles nearly tense up in pure astonishment, you've been kicked in the teeth just by the man's presence. Captain, Levi slinks behind you weaving through the gaps with increasing speed, he's gaining momentum and all the while his face stays relaxed, this isn't even his full effort.

Terrified you dart upwards and then left, a corner comes into view - Levi should assume you've turned into it and so you rashly choose to dart back down. Much to your hard luck you find that his senses are well adapted, the direction of the wind is enough for him to trace your whereabouts.

The pursuit resumes, and he stays disturbingly relentless.

Arm shooting to the right you think perhaps making it look like you're aiming to fly somewhere else again will completely catch him off guard, he can't expect for you to pull the same trick twice.

Setting your plan into motion your finger pulls at the trigger but you startle when the cable doesn't come out, it's jammed. Panic seeps into you and to make matters worse your gas is running out.

Without warning you're thrust into the body of a nearby tree, the bark scrapes against you and scratches begin to form anywhere you've made contact with the jagged surface, you want to admit defeat but the warrior inside of you denies Levi the pleasure of seeing you beg. In its place you deliver a harsh kick to his thigh, you're aware he's injured it and you're certain there are no rules to say you can't play dirty. Your boots hammer against leg hard enough for him to give out and let go of your body, but then you realize you lost this game from the very moment your grapple hooks broke, you have nowhere to hold onto.

Before you can even let out a shriek of horror Levi's shot back to you, he frantically accelerates and by a miracle humanity's strongest is able to grab a hold of you again. This time you don't dig your heels into his leg and you allow for him to clutch you by the torso.

Within a minute the two of you descend towards the forest floor and Levi throws you into the dirt furiously.

"You could have died. Being foolhardy will only lead to an early death." He barks as he directs his blade towards your neck.

"Am I dead yet?" Whispering back your gaze isn't trained on the blade but right up at him.

His nostrils flare up, his hair sticks to his forehead haphazardly and the knuckles that hold his pointed blades are white in tangled dissatisfaction.

Grabbing you by the hips he flings you over his shoulder choosing to not continue with the confrontation.

"I know what you're up to." His voice is still rugged from the pursuit and it takes you a split second to register what he's said.

Your eyes widen and your breath hitches in your throat, no way, there's no way in hell he knows. He's sharp but he's not a mind reader.

Your position means he can't read your face seeing as you're facing his back, instantly steeling your features you let out a breathy laugh.

"And what may that be?" Silently you pray he's worded himself ambiguously to catch a slip up.

"Being gutsy, you think that makes you a good soldier. It doesn't."

Relief floods you. He doesn't know.

"Soldiers need to be brave." Your retort makes him grumble.

"If you die with no meaning by being reckless what's the purpose of being a soldier?" His question has you stopping and thinking on what the correct answer is.

Unable to think of an answer you ask another question.

"Are you saying your previous comrades died without meaning?"

"No. Their deaths fueled me slay more titans."

"So if I died back there who wou-" He swiftly cuts you off showing no inclination of wanting to hear what it is you have to say.

"I'll cut your tongue off if it's stupid." He clearly isn't serious about the threat but he does mean it when he warns you to not overstep.

Despite the consequences you say what's on your mind. "I just wanted to ask who would give my life meaning if I ever died. I don't have siblings and my parents died long ago."

Silence follows and the crunch of his boots against the muddy leaves tells you he probably doesn't wish to answer your question.

"Sorry-"

"I would. I would give meaning to your life." He says it with such ease you almost want to admire the enemy but you know he's said it because he feels he has to.

"You barely know me but I hope one day you can stop thinking everyone has to rely on you." You say it with taunting understanding.

Another bout of silence follows. Only this time the two of you feel warmly comforted, he doesn't understand how you've seen through his facade but it's easy for you to spot another liar.

846, ii.

Brows drawn back you observe your surroundings attempting to mask your scrutiny. The place is running amok with uncontrollable Eldian folk. The stench of unadulterated sin makes itself known but you seem to be the only person able to smell it. Eren bumps against the table you're sat at and your face twitches a little but you say nothing. You're yet to get used to these people's lack of manners.

At least that's how you force yourself to think. To be truthful, you don't quite understand what it is these people have done wrong. Ever since you've arrived you've been nitpicking at every single minor inconvenience or possible issue. A girl stole a potato and broke it into uneven pieces to share and you attempted to twist the story in your head to make her look like an unfair, greedy voracious demon but... you found yourself finding very little to actually be angry at. These people are essentially normal in every way of the word, they aren't demons and you can't help but feel yourself slip away from everything you once knew as reality. You're finding it difficult to believe what years of Marleyan education taught you, the hymns that were once drilled into your brain permanently are but a vague memory.

You feel disgustingly under-dressed and out of place, you don't belong here not when you're meant to hate these people, not when you're meant to despise them. You should be fighting the urge to shove their heads onto pitchforks or to skin them alive and feed them to pigs. Everyone back in Marley told you to control your impulses but now you're here and you've settled down even having the opportunity to converse with these individuals, share their pain, share their loss, share their suffering, you wonder why you have no impulses to control. Have they brainwashed you? Or is it that you're the real demon in this situation?

Fingers mingling with each other on your lap you sit hopelessly alone. Interacting with the so called enemy is much harder than you expect. Worry consistently bubbles in the pit of your stomach and every night is spent tossing and turning evaluating then reevaluating who the bad guy really is. At first the task of daily interaction isn't a big deal, you find it easy enough to approach members of the team and fake interest in their lives until the original plan falls through. You do become invested in your team members lives and stories that it comes to the point where you don't have to force yourself to smile at their jokes or to sympathize with their tales of grief. You become one of them and you swear you're meant to feel like a traitor but eerily you feel like you belong.

Nevertheless you try your best to stick with what you know. You're nothing like Zeke, you're loyal, capable, faithful and trustworthy. Never will you turn your back on Marley.

Rising to excuse yourself from dinner you think you've just about made it and escaped finally able to hide away in the confines of your bedroom but your lips form into a straight uncomfortable line at the feeling of someone's hand latching at your wrist. You're halfway down the hallway just a few more steps away from your bedroom. You hope it's one of the rookies.

"Oi, come here."

Head shooting backwards your eyes land on Levi, his dark curtains fall in front of his eyes - you note that he hasn't trimmed them as he usually does. Despite his size his grip is firm and your wrist squirms around a little trying to manoeuvre out of his bruising grasp. He seems to notice he's underestimated his strength once again and loosens his hold on you. Narrowed eyes analyse your anxious form, they're grey and in this lighting almost glow appearing silver. For a brief second your mouth is left ajar by the delicate but rough manner of his face.

"Everything Okay?" He doesn't typically seem to care very much about anyone, the question activates your senses and you're on full alert but the eye contact you make with him seconds later slows down the gears in your mind, they only whir and hum in anticipation completely coming to a halt.

"Yes, yes everything is okay." You're playing around with the hem of your shirt and you silently question when you were ever this nervous around anyone. You're a Marleyan soldier for heaven's sake not an unrestrained, unsupervised child left to play in a park.

Despite your clear inability to cushion and shield yourself from your Levi's stabbing gaze you attempt to appear as nonchalant as possible.

"I'll be going I just feel a little —" At first you had thought to fake you were ill but at the feeling of a sudden strike of pain you hold onto your stomach, the ache burns into your abdomen and without permission it travels higher up towards your ribs. "A little unwell." You manage to wheeze out. Hand placed onto a nearby cement wall your thought process is hasty speeding up by the second. Have they figured you out and had you poisoned? No, you barely ate anything today.

You hunch over feeling the bile crawl up your throat, on reflex you clamp your eyes shut not wishing to anger a superior by acting insolent and disposing of your dinner in the hallway. Shaky palms reach hesitantly for your lips and you force yourself to keep it in. Levi would commit a murder if you heaved and gagged letting it all out in front of him.

You motion towards the door trying to emphasize that you can handle yourself in the privacy of your room. Tears bite at the sides of your eyes and your vision is so blurred you can only make out the faint outline of the man who was just in front of you.

"Relax. I'll clean it." Your hair is brushed away from your face securely held back and you can't hold it in any longer, the acrid storm surges through your throat, you retch at the harsh sting it leaves behind. Breathing heavy, perturbed and anxious you gasp in all the air you can get.

"I knew you looked ill." His hands hold your jaw gently, the pads of his fingers are calloused but his touch remains soft. A tissue dabs at your mouth wiping away the excess untouched sick.

Just like the sick which surged through you less than a minute ago you feel something else entirely tear into you. You can't put a finger on it but it's dangerous for you to not feel contempt.

847, i.

Your heart accepts what your mind has been ignoring for months on end when Levi looks you square in the eyes after a heart wrenching expedition. The vacant look on his face is enough for the guilt to consume you whole but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know of your sins.

The wagon of corpses reeks of death and desperation. It's rotten and the smell is sickening. Forcibly you stop yourself from feeling any more grief. The despair isn't yours to go through.

Your first ever personal loss outside of the walls and you've learnt Paradis is not home to demons. Cheeks burning in mortification you can't formulate any thoughts on your own accord, instead they continuously emerge in bursts and finally a single thought sticks out from the rest - Are you aiding in the destruction of innocent human life?

The both of you are sat on guard duty with the corpses, half of the team has been wiped out in one sweep. Your trembling hands don't seem to want to steady any time soon and you sit there with your guilty conscience strangling you slowly, your airflow is getting shallower. Shorter, quicker breaths leave you. The imaginary gash in your chest is bottomless, and your lungs push and pull in a power struggle.

Levi's coarse hands abruptly hold onto yours and the floodgates open again, he doesn't know what you've done to him, done to his soldiers, done to his people. If he knew who you really were, would things be different?

"This was out of your control."

Do you tell him?

The question sits in your mind for a while until you shake your head. He takes it the wrong way and think you're responding to him.

"This was not your fault." For the first time in months you've heard his voice crack under pressure.

"Pe- Petra she- I could have taken one for the team and died instead of her." All that remains of your dear friend is her blood soaked cloak. Her body was one of the few that had to be hauled away earlier to decrease the carriage's load.

The fabric still smells of Petra, smells of honey and chamomile and the simple soap offered at the base, but it still smells of her.

Firm hands grab your shoulders and Levi's fingers dig sorely into your flesh.

"Don't."

"But I- I didn't contribute as much as her and she has family who are alive." Hiccuping you try to bare with the fact that you'll wake up tomorrow and not see her preparing breakfast for everyone else. You know you could have propelled her out of the way just in time if you hadn't been so taken aback by the entire situation.

"You were her comrade. She made the choice to die for you."

You want to reach out, sob into his chest and yell that you regret it all, scream and tell him about the secret you've been hiding. A sorry excuse of a comrade you are to let her die on the battlefield not knowing your true identity. The tears roll down your cheeks and Levi feels his heart constrict and squeeze as he comprehends the lack of regard you have for your life. "It should have been me." Is repeated over and over again, your eyes are raw and bloodshot, the vicious wind sinks its teeth into you.

"Then die."

"If you're willing for her life to have no meaning. Die." The words he spits out are as cutting as the bitter wind. He feels cheated and you're finally able to come to your senses.

He's faired much worse but you doubt he's ever acted out the way you have in front of another person. In this never-ending void of darkness locking away the dull ache caused by deafening loss is the best choice for everyone.

Much like the night you had been sick he takes a grip of your jaw and directs your face towards his, this time he's not as gentle as before but you conclude that it's because he's drained, completely exhausted from the battle. The eyes are the windows to the soul but Levi's window panes are shattered, completely crushed by the weight of the constant burden he has to carry.

"I'm sorry." You croak out the apology. He grits his teeth because he doesn't want you to apologize but he doesn't voice out his opinion. As a substitute he presses his arms against you, the terribly raw panic is murdering you. Levi's gruff voice is a mixture of faux irritation but mutual understanding.

"Cry." He allows for your head to loll against his shoulder.

As the dark envelopes both you and him the scent of the dead only becomes more and more pungent, recalling fond memories of Petra and the others you know your heart settles on a decision before your mind does. You're a two timing back stabbing traitor for this. What you hated Zeke for you have become yourself.

Disloyal, unfaithful and fickle.

That day you place your loyalties with Paradis.

847, ii.

Levi's wiping down one of the kitchen tables, you're kneeled on the floor scrubbing vigorously. The others have already given up, panting they've left using the excuse of fetching water from a nearby well. Your back aches but you find cleaning reassuring and somewhat of a decent distraction.

"Why do you like to clean?" You're used to Levi asking you abrupt questions by now, after all the two of you have been acquainted for well over a year now. Through that year he's learnt about you and you about him. When in the midst of what looks to be humanity's final year's, twelve simple months is enough to form a bond worth a decade.

"I'm not good at a lot but I am good at cleaning."

"You know that's not true idiot." The tone of his voice indicates that your answer doesn't please him.

"But I do think I'm good at cleaning? Maybe not as good as you but I am half decent."

"Not that. You're good at much more than half the people I've ever met." He sneers, his footsteps edge towards you. "Purely being a good person is a talent these days."

You suppress a flinch because you aren't a good person at all. Neither are you that middle ground between good and bad. Rough around the edges and uneven, you're shards of glass ready to slash and hack away at him if Marley somehow lures you back.

The confession, if you could even call it that catches you by surprise and anger fills you. You almost want for him to not trust you and call out your bluff. It's a little unnatural how badly you want for him to realize the truth.

Your head turns up to stare at the man who's a few steps away from you. "Or am I just good at acting genuine?"

You don't even mean to snap at him and you don't even realize you have until you see his eyes widen and mouth part in imperceptible surprise. Biting your tongue your attention is diverted back to the wooden floor. Driving your washcloth into the crevices and dips of the floorboards you ignore Levi's leather shoes which now stand right in front of you.

"Are you questioning my judgement of character?"

Be born in Marley, That's what you had done, trained to destroy people you thought to be devilish entities, foolishly chose to grow attached to the so called enemy. Your mind lingers onto a specific thought and you're deathly afraid to be thinking it in the first place but there's no more avoiding it.

Falling deeply in love with Levi is your worst mistake to date.

"What I did. It was out of my control." you reply, voice hard.

"Not disclosing what it was?" He asks.

Your silence is his answer. Kneeling down to where you are he disarms you, the washcloth is taken out of your hands and he places it onto a table.

"You are a good person." His voice is brusque and he states it like it's a fact, something you should know. Hot tears threaten to spill over, he's stupidly naive for not rethinking that opinion of his. Lips thinned and eyes watering you don't know how to feel.

"Levi. I'm sure you'd like to think that but I am not."

"You love the members of the corps unconditionally I can see it in the way you look at them."

"Sometimes you look a little sad when you stare." The last sentence he adds in has your pulse racing. He's right, you often feel miserable thinking about how everyone would react knowing who you really are.

"I'm not interested in bad people." He sounds distant saying such warm words and it takes a moment for them to actually sink in. You don't quite believe you've heard him correctly. The dread sinks to the bottom of your stomach and the feelings you've buried at the back of your mind hit you like a tsunami. The thought of him feeling the same way for you, is agonizing.

"Stop being ridiculous." The uncertainty is killing the both of you.

"Loving you is not ridiculous, if you don't feel the same way you can say that and I'll step away. We'll be back to normal."

"No, no, no. You don't get it. You're just saying that." Your voice quivers and the intensity of this new revelation is too large for you to cope with.

"Why would, you," He begins, voice just above a whisper, "ever think that way?"

"Why would you even look twice at me?" You reply.

"Because I worry for you."

"You worry for everyone."

"I worry for you the most."

Instead of letting you respond to him this time he carries on speaking.

"We both know we feel the same."

You already knew you were in love with Levi, you didn’t need for him to tell you. You knew you were in love when you tried to memorize his facial features, you knew you were in love when his laughter was the cause of your laughter, you knew you were in love when you threw yourself in front of that abnormal for him.

That's when you begin to understand what all his signals meant. You now knew why he'd let you stare so intently, you now knew why he laughed particularly hard when it was you who had made a joke, you now knew why he scolded you and nearly broke down at the sight of your injured arm after that specific expedition.

You know it. He knows it. You both know what this will lead to.

But you still lunge onto his lap, you still press your wobbly lips against his. You still choose to surrender yourself to him and he still reacts by taking a hold of your shaky hands which lay on his chest. He envelopes them in his warm grasp. Slowly but gradually the ice thaws and dissolves. Heartbreak, anguish and suffering when one of you loses the other will be the end of your romance, you're sure of it. Hell, the both of you are in the middle of a war but your heart flames up thinking of all of the possibilities.

Perhaps it'll play out the one way you wish for it not to.

Could your ending be in betrayal?

848, i.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded hus-"

"Cut the crap and kiss me." Levi's crude interruption isn't appreciated by Erwin but everyone knows Levi doesn't care all that much for formalities and hates being in the spotlight for too long.

Gripping him by the collar of his suit your lips are a centimetre away, he stops you tightening the hold he has on your waist. His lips gently press against your collarbone and his breath meanders towards the shell of your ear.

"Swear you won't die on me."

Gulping you look away apprehensively. You know you can't promise that.

“Oi, I’m expecting an answer.” His voice flickers slightly.

Forefinger holding your chin up you see your soon to be husband close to tears, he valiantly blinks them away. Levi has never been one to make his pain public and your heart twists in your chest as you realize just how much of a hold his feelings for you have over him.

"I can't promise that, you know it'll only hurt more." The strange bitter taste in your mouth won't let you comply with his request and by measuring his reaction you see his eyes cloud in an unidentifiable emotion, you're sure it's nothing positive.

"We may not have a happy ending Levi but we'll always have a happy middle."

Levi scoffs in derision, he has to think your attempt at being meaningful is ridiculous.

You lean into him and it's all so heart-wrenchingly familiar yet foreign. His body sags comprehending that not everything will go the way he wants it to. One of you is guaranteed to leave first.

Hands finding purchase in the cloth of his white dress shirt Levi doesn't cringe at you creasing the fabric as he usually does. He allows for you to call the shots this time, your lips brush faintly against his before you nosedive into him. No resistance is felt and he replies almost immediately. Everyone applauds as his fingertips press into the back of your skull and you find that this is all incredibly hideous. The innate disloyalty you feel, you throwing your entire life away for this man but you find yourself not caring. To hell with that miserable life crammed with sin.

Levi smiles against your mouth, you assume you're meant to magically smile back but you can't make yourself. It's uncomfortable relishing in the undeserved happiness knowing it won't last forever.

The world you live in isn't ideal nor is it forgiving.

Momentary joy is all an antagonist can hope for.

849, i.

Jean can’t take his eyes off the newly weds.

You’re cooing into your Levi’s ear gently, his cheeks flush scarlet at the feeling of your hot breath against his skin and he scolds you for having the gall to rile him up in public.

Jean sniggers finding some sort of odd delight from the interaction - he’s never seen the Captain this content and at ease.

849, ii.

You don't know why you've dragged yourself out of bed just to stare at your husband's face but you have, despite the toll life has had on him he seems sound for once. His breathing peaceful yours is anything but that. When it's dark the weight becomes heavier, your skin tingles and your throat burns aching for release.

Eyes blurring your hands shake reaching out for him but you can't find the courage to make contact. Nothing will ever warrant plaguing him even more with your existence.

The memories become increasingly bitter.

"If we make it out of this alive we'll have children and they'll look just like you."

"I want them to look like you." had been your reply.

Levi winced not seeming to like the idea.

"No, I want them to look like you. You're beautiful."

How wrong he was for thinking that.

You, beautiful? He'd stab himself ten times over if he knew just who exactly he had said those words to.

850, i.

Zeke had betrayed you after finding out who you were to Levi but you half expected that he would tell him the truth at some point regardless of that fact.

Tear stains travel through the mud and grime on your face, Levi's eyes are indifferent as he twists his wedding ring off his finger flinging it into the surrounding rubble.

Without your permission he yanks your arm forwards intending to take your matching ring away but you hold on digging your heels into the dirt beneath you.

"You disgusting bitch. Give me it."

You scream, high and awful, he continues jerking at your arm the muscle throbs crying out for him to stop but he doesn't and no one steps in to put a halt to any of it. Levi having had enough grabs at your neck ruthlessly. In any other circumstance he'd be labelled callous or cruel but everyone on the battle field shares a similar empathy for their Captain. Neither they or Levi had expected your disloyalty.

"I said give me the ring if you know what's good for you." His fingers slide around your neck, his seemingly low words cling onto the little respect he has left for you.

"No." Your defiance has his eyes hardening in and posture tensing. "I'm not handing it over."

Levi says nothing, he only holds onto your throat tighter, if he really keeps at it your windpipe will be crushed in no time. You know he's holding out on purpose, he's still giving you a chance. He expects for you to stand your ground, say you never deceived Paradis, say something, anything to make him let go of you.

"Marrying you... It just happened somehow. I know it was selfish of me." He squeezes harder. "I know it was. I'm sorry Levi." Gasping and breathless you clench and unclench your fists finding it too difficult to explain.

Your mouth opens, you want to tell him you haven't seduced him like he thinks you have, tell him you dropped that plan of yours long ago but then you falter at the last second. It's typically hard to tell when Erwin's infuriated but it's painfully obvious when you make eye contact with him over Levi's trembling shoulders. It's enough to tell you to give up. Enough to tell you that you're beyond redemption, you've ran and hid long enough.

"Hand over your titan." Levi says nothing to Erwin's proposition, the hold he has on your neck loosens but his silence is sickening. It means he agrees.

This is fate's idea of a cruel joke.

But you agree, on the basis of one condition.

"Fine but-"

Levi cuts in, all regard for you devoid from his system.

"You're in no place to be making demands." He snarls, his patience quickly running thin.

However Erwin urges you to continue speaking taking you aback.

"If it's not too much maybe we can accommodate your final wish." Erwin had always been thoughtful in nature and you thank him for even bothering to show you a sliver of benevolence.

Everyone's looking, all eyes are on you. Some are blinking away tears, others are disgusted unable to stare at you for more than a few seconds at a time. Levi falls into the latter.

Brazen with not an ounce of shame you mention the ring again. "Let me keep it." Your left hand covers your right and underneath the flesh is the last symbol left of your union with Levi.

Whispers and murmurs orbit you, none of them are kind and Levi loses it.

His reflexes are paralyzing, he's back at it clawing your neck mercilessly but you don't scream or shriek as you did previously. You take it, you let him unload his frustration.

"Levi. Let it go for the sake of humanity." Erwin says pointedly. Irritation pricks him, he wants this over and done with and your rebelliousness doesn't look as if it'll be tamed any time soon unless you're given what you want.

Levi's face is crimson, the fresh blood from the expedition still steaming. "Y/N, I'll saw your arm off if I have to." But, you know he's already given into Erwin's orders when he throws you to the ground letting you crash and wheeze for breath.

850, ii.

Levi's been appointed to guard you for your final night alive. The room feels wistful as you think back wondering if the life you lived was respectable.

"Why did you stare at me when I slept? Did you think of killing me?" Half commanding and half pleading his voice cracks. He coughs attempting to cover it up.

You jolt not expecting the interaction at all and you're not the slightest bit surprised that he had seen you all those nights staring so deeply. He'd always been a light sleeper. You turn your head up hoping he's looking at you.

He isn't.

"I wanted our children to look like you. I think you're beautiful."

It's now his turn to recoil, only he does so in repulsion remembering the familiarity of those words. They had left his own lips not too long ago.

"I'd never have children with the likes of you." He sounds tense then.

You understand. No one would want to have children with someone as hated and as despicable as you.

"I know." You whisper faintly.

850, iii.

When Erwin's eyes glaze over unable to focus on anything in particular Levi assumes it's him growing used to the titan powers. What he doesn't expect is for his Commander to bang his head against the floor unrelenting screaming your name.

Pairs of hands move to stop him but he thrusts them aside wailing. Levi stresses trying to figure out what it is you could have done in the wake of your death.

But Erwin Smith. Courageous, brave Erwin Smith, who never cracked at loss of life for the sake of humanity, who always eloquently spoke to everyone around him at all times, finds himself slumping down to his knees and weeping for you.

The warm blood from his self inflicted assault still trickles down his nose, a tremor shakes through his entire body when he thinks of breaking the news to Levi.

The edge in Erwin’s voice grows dangerous.

"We made the wrong choice."

Erwin can't word it any better than that.

But Levi understands right away, he wishes he didn’t, he wishes he was ignorant enough not to.

Hange sticks an arm out aiming for his shoulder but he stumbles away nearly falling back into the floor not wanting to be touched by anyone.

He finds that he is not human enough to cry. It’s that or he’s not human at all without your presence.

854, i.

Levi has grown old without you, lived to see months and new seasons without you by his side. Over time his eyelids have become heavier, the corners of his mouth naturally droop and he remains perpetually somber.

Sometimes you visit him in his dreams, each time you make a silly comment about how his grey eye bags make him look like he’s been punched in the face. “Levi Ackerman, I swear if you don’t sleep soon!” You cushion the blow by whispering sweet nothings, reassuring him that you still think he’s beautiful.

Occasionally you add in that you don’t blame him for the past, but those conversations only last for a few seconds at a time.

“I don’t blame you.” It always starts off with the exact same phrase.

“I should have listened to you.” Levi’s tone is stern and uncompromising .

“Lev, I was never going to tell you to spare my life. You tried to listen to me, I could tell you wanted me to deny it.”

Levi refuses to answer you, he still thinks he’s at fault.

Not a day goes by where he doesn’t think of that ring. He regrets throwing it away recklessly into the rubble.

Some day he’ll return to Shiganshina to find it. The idea sounds laughable but he has to find a reason to smile as he fights for his life.

That is what Levi thinks as two set’s of jaws snap shut onto his legs, a flurry of red surrounds him. His throat constricts at the feeling of his thighs being ripped away from the rest of him.

“I tried.” He whimpers to no one in particular, eyes blank and losing meaning.

“I know Levi, I know.” The same voice from his dreams soothes him.

“Do not despair. Find me again in another world.” The biting wind adds in.

Levi’s eyelids flutter shut unable to do much else.

He’s unsure if he has the courage to face you again in another lifetime.

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sugarbooger513 · 3 years

Text

JJK Men x Insecure chubby Fem!reader

Today has been hard to think of myself positively, and I have friends who struggle with the same thing, so I thought I could indulge some people with some very loved characters reminding us that, no matter our size, we're perfect.

Characters: Satoru Gojo, Toji Fushiguro, Choso Kamo, Kento Nanami

Warnings: Insecurities, body dysphoria, Toji's gets spicy (sue me), suggestive at the end of Nanami's, tooth rotting fluff.

Satoru Gojo

- Let's be completely honest here, this man rarely feels insecure, if he ever does.

- He wouldn't be able to sympathize, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. In fact, it makes him care a lot more.

- His comfort methods aren't for everyone either, so be prepared. He's trying, give him that.

- Humor. That's what this man knows. Iykyk, this man deflects any form of trauma with his humor.

- If he notices it isn't working, then he'll come up with something else because he loves you. That love tells him that he has to try.

"Oh sweetie pie, I'm home!" Satoru's voice carries easily through the house, but you can't seem to care at the moment. Your cheeks still feel somewhat sticky from the tears that have fallen the past thirty minutes.

"Honey bun? I said I-" His voice cuts off, and you know you're caught. The bed shifts where your boyfriend lowers himself beside you. "Y/N, why are you crying?"

"I-I don't want to talk about it, Satoru." He removes his blindfold with a small chuckle. "Did your favorite anime character die?" "No." "You sure? You tend to sob when-" "I said I don't want to talk about it."

He freezes at the way you lash out at him. Yeah, something is actually wrong.

"Love," his voice softens in a way that shows how worried he is, "is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?" You're quiet for a minute, but you eventually scoot closer to him.

"You want me to hold you?" All you manage is a nod before more tears slide down your cheeks. His long arms encase you securely against him. "I can do that as long as you need. I'm here for you, Y/N."

The two of you stay like that, you crying softly into his uniform while he runs his hand up and down your back.

Eventually, your sobs turn into small sniffles, and you finally speak. "I.. I'm sorry for snapping at your earlier, Sato." He smiles at the loving nickname. "No, baby, I'm sorry for joking around. You wanna talk about it now?"

"I just... I was thinking about.. how many girls looks so much better than I do." He scoffs. "You're kidding, right?" "Sato.." "No, I mean that. It isn't a joke. Baby, we've been through this since day one. I. Want. You."

You hide your now blushing face against his chest. "But.. I just don't understand.." "Look at me, baby." When you do, his bright blue eyes seem to shimmer. "You're the love of my life. You're gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and every other synonym to those that I'll have to get Nanami to teach me because I will remind you everyday until it gets through your thick ass skull."

His hand comes up to rest on your chubby cheek, where he starts to wipe away the drying tears. "I. Love. You. So. Freaking. Much. Y/N." Each word is punctuated with a kiss on a different part of your face, until he eventually meets your lips.

The small giggles you let out makes him smile. "There's that beautiful laugh! Come on, why don't I pop some popcorn and we go watch whatever you want on the TV?" Your shit eating grin makes him snort a bit of laughter. "Even if it ends in a favorite character dying?"

"I don't mind having to hold you a bit longer."

Toji Fushiguro

- This is also someone I don't think can really empathize with you and your insecurities.

- However, when this man falls he falls HARD

- He will do anything in his power to make you feel better.

- Well

- Anything he can do while still seeming nonchalant about it

- Lets talk about how this man would take matters into his own hands, with his own hands, to make sure you know how loved you are. (You couldn't have expected just fluff with him, give me a break y'all.)

"Y/N," Toji kicks his shoes off carelessly at the door, "I'm home." He raises a confused eyebrow when he looks around the house. Plates from your movie night yesterday lay strewn about the coffee table, still.

'She never leaves dishes out. That's weird.'

He starts to walk around the house, worry filling his chest. It just isn't like you to leave a mess, or to not greet him at the door. There's no way someone came and did something to you, right? No one is THAT dumb, surely.

When he hears the small sniffles coming from your shared bedroom, he breathes a small sigh of relief. "Y/N? I'm coming in." He pushes the bedroom door open to see you cuddling his pillow while laying on your side.

His eyes widen at the sight of your body trembling from the small sobs. "Y/N?" He walks around the bed to kneel in front of you. "What happened?"

"N-Nothing Toji. Sorry, I-I know the house is a w-wreck." "Shut up about the damn house. I don't care. Why are you crying?"

You finally sit up, which lets him sit beside you on the bed. "I just.. Bad day." "Who do I need to stab?" "T-Toji?! You can't solve everything by stabbing!" He shrugs a bit. "You can try."

He smiles sweetly when you slap his arm. "That isn't funny." "Hmmm, but it made your cheeks flush." "Toji Fushiguro!" "Alright, alright. You wanna tell me what's wrong now?"

"I just.. looked in a mirror for too long, babe. Don't worry about-" "I'm lost. What do you mean you looked in one for too long?" You sigh, knowing he hates vague answers.

"My body is disgusting me today, Toji." He scrunches his eyebrows and leans in a bit closer to you. Your face heats up from the slight glare in his eyes.

"Looks the same to me." "Toji, I-" "Correct yourself." His already deep voice seems to drop even lower. Your entire body trembles. "S-Sir."

"Good girl. Now, let me get this straight. You don't think you're attractive." You shake your head, suddenly feeling the tears come back to your eyes. "Why not?" "J-Just.. my body.. it isn't.." "Skinny?" The word hurts your heart, but you nod, knowing he expects some sort of answer.

"So? You're exactly what I need, Y/N." You glance up to meet his loving gaze. "N-need?" "Don't play dumb. You know I need you. Now, we have to fix those insecurities."

He stands, offering his hand out to you. When you take it, he pulls you to your feet.

"Now," he groans as he lays back down on the bed, "I've had a tiring day at work. I want you to strip and come take a seat." "A-a seat?" His smirk tells you what you need to know before he elaborates. "I AM rather starved. Come on, I'm pretty impatient."

"To-Sir, I'm too.." "Heavy? Try again. You aren't getting out of this." He snaps his fingers, and the sound runs deep into your core. His eyes watch you hungrily as you start to get out of your pants.

"Now, for every one of your orgasms, I want to hear 'I'm Toji's pretty princess.' Understand?" "Y-yes sir."

You have no idea what posses you, but you finally let out you own witty comment. "You could at least take me to dinner first."

"You cheeky brat, don't worry. I have plans for your meal."

Hope you don't mind being hoarse for a while. You had to repeat just how pretty you were a number of times.

Choso Kamo

- SWEETEST MOTHER FUCKER I SWEAR

- He doesn't see a single flaw in you, honestly.

- Plus, he doesn't really understand beauty standards. All he knows is he loves every inch of you.

- Nothing goes unloved by this big ass baby.

- You crying would probably bring him to tears because he feeds off your emotion.

- But there is no doubt this man will do anything and everything to see your smile again.

- A true king who just wants his queen as happy as she makes him.

He left you for maybe an hour. Maybe. Choso just had to run and pick up a movie from Yuji.

"Angel, Yuji said that we have to-" He drops the movie the instant he sees tears in your eyes. "L-love? What happened?"

He rushes to your side and wastes no time wrapping you in his strong embrace. Your hands grip his shirt in a feeble attempt to pull him closer.

"What happened? Do you need something? A doctor?" His eyes are scanning your body for any signs of pain. His hands running gently over your back, arm, sides, but everything seems normal.

"I-I'm okay, Cho." "No, you aren't. Please, angel, don't lie to me." His own eyes start to fill with tears, but he tries to will them away. He knows he shouldn't be crying, but seeing you in any pain hurts him just as much.

"Cho, I just.. It's stupid." His large hands cup your face so you're forced to meet his eyes. "Nothing that makes you cry is stupid. Absolutely nothing, my love."

"I.. I tried to put on a hoodie of yours because I was cold." He blinks in confusion. "Was.. was it dirty?" "No I.. I stretched it out.." he tilts his head.

"Is that all?" You nod, but even more tears come to your eyes. "I just hate how big I am.. I thought you would find it cute to come home and see me in your clothes but.. I just messed them up.." He stands, suddenly walking into the kitchen. "C-Cho?"

"I bought some of your favorite ice cream. You know, the kind you always crave on your period. I figure we can cuddle and you can enjoy it while we watch a movie."

"I- I don't really want anything to eat." He smiles, still grabbing it and a spoon. "I know, but just in case. Listen," he places the carton on the table next to you, "you're gorgeous. Every part of you just screams beauty. Nothing could ever change that. Not your size, not you stretching out a stupid hoodie, not you crying, nothing."

He opens the carton, only to get a spoonful out and kneel in front of you. "Open up, angel." You do as he says and allow him to feed you the ice cream. You can't help but smile as you eat it.

His index finger wipes a few old tears from your cheeks. "There's that smile I love. Now, I think we need a movie and some cuddles. How does that sound?" You can only nod, absolutely floored by how much Choso truly loves you.

No more negative thoughts came to your mind while you laid against his chest. He even took a few times to feed you more ice cream throughout the movie.

Oh yeah, he totally bought new hoodies in a bigger size so you could wear them around the house without fear of stretching them.

Kento Nanami

- KING ENERGY

- You can't tell me this man doesn't want someone who acts as his pillow. Come on.

- That being said, Nanami knows how it is to be insecure.

- Whether it's over body insecurity or not, that can be argued either way. Still, insecurities aren't something he's ignorant about.

- On days where you can't seem to like your body, he'll do whatever you need.

- Need to be alone? No problem. Need someone to talk to you? Covered. Just need to be told you're loved? He'll tell you as many times as it takes.

- However, he can't help but be blunt. That's just who he is.

- He does it out of love for you, though. He never wants you to believe something that isn't true.

It's really hard for you and Nanami to get the same day off of work, and today was no different. Since you were the one working today, Nanami decided to take up cleaning the house and preparing dinner. He would also insist on doing the dishes, but he knew better. You never allow him to do all of the work.

He watched the clock hit five thirty and smiled. No doubt, that was your car he heard pull into the driveway. Now that you were home, he could surprise you by telling you that he managed to get the next five days off, which matched your schedule.

The front door opens, and he's quick to call out a "Welcome home, dear. Dinner will be done soon." He turns his body, preparing to catch you in his embrace as usual. However, all that happens is you call back, "Thanks, Ken."

His eyebrows furrow, and he quickly takes dinner off the stove so he can go check on you. He's not one to forget anniversaries or anything like that, so his mind is going through any possible reason you just called him Ken.

"Bad day at work, dear?" He wipes his hand on his apron as he comes around the corner. You were already sitting on the couch, eyes on your phone. "Yeah, I guess." "Okay," he sighs and sits beside you, "would you like to talk about it?" When you finally look at him, his eyes widen. Your eyes are puffy, as if you had been crying.

"Y/N.." "It's just coworker drama, Ken, don't worry too much about it." He scrunches his face. Those women you work with always pissed him off. He's noticed them staring at him whenever he brings you lunch. "Well, humor me a bit. What happened today?"

He just knows you can't resist gossiping with him after a work day. "I-I don't want to repeat it, Ken." The worried look in his eyes makes you whimper. "What?"

"I'm not used to you calling me 'Ken' at home." "Sorry, honey. It's nothing you did." He smiles softly and reaches to cup one of your cheeks in his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me?" You do. God, you do because you know you'll cry again and he'll be here to hold you through it.

"They started talking about you." "Me?" "Yeah," you look at your hands, already feeling your chest tighten, "and started laughing at how you're.. settling for someone who is as big as I am.."

Nanami's soft looks suddenly turns harsh. How dare they say stuff like that? What's worse is he's sure they knew you could hear them!

"Really?" When you nod, a tear falls onto your lap. "It just.. really hurt knowing that I'm not the only one who thinks that." "Y/N.." He pulls you into a hug with a soft sigh.

"Don't think like that. Dear, if I wanted anything different than what I have now, you would know it." You sigh and cuddle into his warm embrace. "I know, but-" "But nothing, my love. I love you, only you, forever you. Do you understand?" You glance up and he places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Yeah.. I love you too, Kento." "I have an idea." "Uh huh?" His smirk has you worried. "Well, we both have the next five days off.." "We do?!"

The excitement in your voice has him chuckling. "There's my pretty laugh. Yes, we do. I'm thinking on your first day back.. you go in with a ring on your finger."

You blink in confusion. "K-Kento, you don't-" "Oh I do. Am I the person to joke about wanting to marry you?" Your eyes start to fill, yet again, with tears. However, these tears make Nanami also tear up a bit.

"Are you... asking..?" "I have a ring just for you in my suit jacket, Y/N. Just say you'll marry me." He isn't really expecting you to jump on him, so when you do, he falls from the couch to the floor. "You know I'll marry you, Ken!"

The two of you share a long kiss, complete with tears and laughter. "Well, now that that's decided. I think we should get a head start on something." "What would that be?"

He stands before securing you in his arms bridal style. "The Prehoneymoon." "That isn't a thing, honey." He smirks before playfully smacking your ass. "For you, Mrs. Nanami, anything is possible."

@katgalle @savonline

#jjk headcanons #nanami kento x y/n #toji fushiguro x reader #choso x reader #satoru gojo x reader #nanami fluff #toji fluff #choso fluff #gojo fluff

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wearywinchester · 3 years

Text

Regrets

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When a fight leaves you both having some regrets, a little space brings some clarity.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: angsts, injury, mentions of death, guilt, comfort, fluff

The tension swirling around in the car was nearly unbearable, thick and heavy as you sat pressed to the passenger side door. You’d been doing it out of spite for the older Winchester, feeding off each other’s anger, each other’s huffs and puffs. He’d noticed just how far away you were sitting and it had him tensing his jaw because he knew exactly what you were doing and it was working.

It was working and he absolutely wouldn’t admit it.

The hunt had gone all kinds of wrong, couldn’t have gone worse apart from one of you dying. Actually, you almost did and that was the problem. That was every bit Dean’s problem and the very thought of it sent his anger from a simmer to a boil in the pit of his stomach every time it crossed his mind. To be more specific, it’s the only thing he’s been thinking about this whole time. But in true Dean Winchester fashion, the fear and concern eating away at him didn’t come out so clearly.

His vulnerability was mostly expressed through anger. Yelling and shutting down, mumbling strings of curses— it was anger in its truest form just to hide how scared he really is.

It was quiet, no radio no nothing save for the occasional clear of his throat or a heavy exhale coming from either one of you. It was quiet and you couldn’t wait to get out of that car, couldn’t wait to be back at the and take up residence in your room, maybe even one of the spares just to be farther from him. You have plenty of them to choose from. You felt like you’d scream if you spent even so much as another ten minutes with him.

You’d gotten hurt that day, gotten hurt and it wasn’t unlike other times. It wasn’t ideal how the hunt should have gone, ideally you wouldn’t have been a ghost’s kebab as she stuck her hand right through you and around your heart. Ideally you wouldn’t have been thrown against a wall without care for where you landed by Casper the unfriendly ghost. You almost sealed your fate that day all for the sake of getting the job done. All for the sake of saving lives.

That was his problem.

But, his problem wasn’t expressed in the best of ways. It was expressed in shouts and running his hand through his hair, in telling you he never wants you hunting again and a tightly clenched jaw. You argued back and forth for the better part of half the trip home, that lump still sitting heavy in your throat as you suppress your tears.

You were dying to be back home, in fact, you weren’t waiting another minute.

“Let me out,” you said, tone angry as you spoke.

His brows furrowed, looking at you for a moment. “What?”

“Pull over and let me out.”

“Not a chance, it’s ten at night and it’s about to freakin’ rain, Y/n. Who knows what’s out there,” he says, his voice raising.

“I know what’s out there, Dean, we hunt it for a living. Let me out. I’d rather walk than spend another minute listening to you huff and puff.”

“No.”

He pretended that it didn’t sting as much as it did, he pretended it didn’t make him swallow thickly and hid it with a little more tension in his jaw. They were just words. Just words spoken out of anger much like all of the things the two of you had spoken in the last half hour.

You could hear the frustration in his voice, in the single word, could see the tension in his jaw and just how tightly he gripped the wheel. That crease between his brows was deeper than ever and it showed each time a car passed you by.

“Dean.”

“Do you like throwing yourself in danger, Y/n? Is that what it is?” He asked.

You rolled your eyes, breathing out a huff that’s more than dramatic as the anger you feel only gets worse, both your anger is. You’re both feeding off of your own frustrations at this point and you can bear another second of it.

“Pull the damn car over or I’ll jump out myself,” you grit out, because if you talk any louder your voice just might fail you.

In a matter of seconds he veers off to pull over as you insisted, braking with a little more force than necessary as he stared ahead at the road. You were blind to the incoming storm, and Dean definitely wasn’t, couldn’t have been. But he pulled over anyway just like you wanted him to.

“You hate me so much, fine, you’re free to go.”

You pause for a moment, gaze narrowed at him before you grabbed your bag. “Yeah, well, maybe I do.”

Without another word from either of you, you got out, missing the way he looked at you as you did and the way he bit the inside of his cheek. And you missed the look on his face when you slammed the door shut, slinging your bag over your shoulder. After a beat of silence he pulls away, tires screeching against the pavement as he sped off down the road with the rev of his engine muffling the farther he gets.

You swallow thickly as you tighten your jacket around yourself, gaze narrowed as you watch the red of the tail lights disappear. Your anger still simmered as your heart raced, but that lump in your throat became near impossible to suppress as you walked along the gravelly side of the road by yourself. But that’s just it—you were by yourself. Those tears you fought so hard to hide glossed over your eyes now, spilling over your cheeks now. All of that built up frustration was seeping it’s way out.

You didn’t have to be so stubborn now that you were all alone, didn’t have to keep that front you put up for the sake of looking strong in front of green eyes.

Gravel and fallen leaves crunched under your feet as you walked along, the noises almost uncomfortably loud in contrast to your surroundings. You felt like an easy target for whatever is out there, felt like all eyes were on you despite the very real fact that you were all by yourself. But a part of you didn’t care at this point.

That adrenaline from the hunt still coursed through you, fueled by dwindling frustration that came and went in waves. It was seeping out in the form of tears, in the form of you kicking rocks in your path and throwing caution to the wind as you walked with heavier footsteps.

You weren’t that far from the bunker, not really. You had your knife tucked in your boot, you could handle yourself. You’re not as weak as you felt in that moment, and the emotions running wild through you was enough to have you putting up a good fight should you need to.

But you needed space. Needed space to keep any more words of regret from spilling past your lips. Needed space before you felt like your heart would burst right out of your chest.

You stuffed your hands in your pockets as you sniffed, tears running hot down cold cheeks as you watched the way your breath puffed out against the cold air. You tried to ignore the drizzle of the rain, tried to ignore it as you put your hood up, only for the wind to blow it right back down once more and after a few hasty battles with Mother Nature you decided to give it up. Decided to toss away your comfort as the icy droplets fell down on you heavier and heavier as the seconds passed.

You settle for picking up your pace as you walk down the road, the one that’s never been ideally lit for as long as you can remember. You weren’t that far, not really, you could make it back.

You tried not to think about your wavering anger, and the way it wavered more and more each time you thought about your conversation in the car. You tried not to think about how comforting one of his flannels would be, or the warmth of his arms. You shook it from your mind because you had yourself convinced you had to be angry at him.

What happened that day wasn’t just some run of the mill incident on a hunt. It wasn’t scraped knees or busted lips, it was sprained ankles or bloody noses. You almost bit the bullet and hunted your last hunt that day. You still felt that pain in your chest despite the threat of that ghost being long gone and put to rest. You still felt that jarring fear, that shake in your hands, and you still felt that urge to cry over it despite your overwhelming need to feel like you’ve got to be tough even when you don’t.

It was all still there, and now you’ve gone and had a screaming match with the older Winchester. Now you’ve both gone and spewed more than enough things you regret.

You didn’t know what was worse, the regretful anger sitting heavy in your stomach, or your overwhelming desire to get out of this awful weather so you could sulk in the warmth of the bunker. To get rid of that heavy sense of feeling vulnerable walking by yourself even though you’d insisted on doing so. You insisted and you got what you wanted.

But you picked up the pace once you reached that familiar stretch of road, once you spotted home tucked in that hillside. You picked up the pace despite the fatigue you felt telling you to slow it down.

You were cold, you were wet, you were miserable.

Meanwhile, Dean was back at the bunker stewing in his own regret unbeknownst to you. He’d debated a million and one times on turning back and going to get you. He could’ve handled you arguing with him, could’ve handled you hating him. Well, you’d gone and said that you did and he doesn’t know if he really could handle it as much as he’d like to act like it. But you were angry, you were angry and so was he and nothing good ever came out of arguing.

You snagged the key from where the three of you kept it hidden and sniffled once more before you pushed the door open, shutting out the terrible weather behind you in favor of the sheltered warmth of the bunker.

The place seemed empty despite the fact that you knew it wasn’t. Sam should be back after a hunt with Eileen, and surely Dean was around here somewhere. You knew he was judging by the fresh tire tracks in the gravel but you tried not to think about it. You tried to think about going unnoticed until you could get a change of clothes. He didn’t need to see how miserable you looked, how right he was about the rain, how right he was about how scared you truly were after that day.

If he knew that, then that tough guy act you put up after all this time would crumble to pieces in an instant.

You may have been able to snag a dry change of clothes without being seen, may have been able to sneak off to the bathroom without it either. But he knew you were here, and he knew you had to have been worse for wear and it had his guilt and regret simmering in a frenzy.

He saw the wet and slightly muddy footprints in the hall, he saw your rain soaking jacket on the coat rack, heavy with the accumulated rainfall. He saw the way those footprints first went to your shared room, tracked them all the way down the hall to a room that’s farthest from his own. And in there were more wet clothes, cold and heavy as he gathered them to toss in the hamper, in there were soaked leather boots with mud caked on the edges.

You were stubborn as hell and so was he.

But that anger was beginning to wash away with the cold as you cleaned yourself up, as you tried your hardest to have the day roll off your shoulders. But that pain in your chest was only a dreadful reminder of its events. You wanted to be angry, and a part of you still was, because being angry was better than facing Dean Winchester in that moment.

You swiped that dampened wash rag over your face once more, too tired to go so far as to take a shower. Too tired to do much more than sulk and stew in a heap of emotions as you changed your clothes into dryer, warmer ones. They only comforted you so much with the feelings you’ve got weighing you down.

You didn’t know how much time had passed since you exchanged some less than desirable words with him, didn’t know where he was as you walked down the hall and slipped into the room you’d claimed that night. You didn’t notice the pile of wet clothes that’d gone missing, but you saw the extra blanket on the bed. It could’ve been Sam, could’ve been, but deep down you knew it wasn’t.

There were plenty of things you would’ve noticed had you come home a little bit earlier. But you didn’t.

He cleaned up the books he’d swept off one of the tables in the library out of his own frustration. He’d righted the chair he kicked, cleaned up the mess of anger and frustration he’d made in his room. He picked up the pieces of his regret for letting you get out of that car at the dead of night.

You got in bed, you switched off the lights and climbed under the covers as you let out a sigh, one that was just as shaky as ever as your tears decided they were quite done with you. As you lay there on your side you fail to see the shadows of the boots on the other side of your door, standing there for a moment before they’d disappeared once more.

You were tired as ever, physically fatigued and emotionally exhausted as you lay there in a bed that’s worse for wear as the springs dig into your side. The room didn’t feel quite so welcoming, didn’t feel quite so comfortable as yours did because a certain green eyed hunter wasn’t on the other side of the wall. He wasn’t on the other side of the mattress.

That anger and that hurt still coursed through you, but it wasn’t scorching and hot, it wasn’t singing your actions like they had been a while ago. You tried to push it out of your mind, trying your hardest to convince yourself that a good night’s sleep would be the best answer to all of this, that it would keep you from saying anything else you surely would regret saying as soon as they’re spoken.

But you know you’re far past doing that.

You try anyway, try to tuck yourself further under the blankets and close your eyes. You were beyond tired, the day robbing you of any energy, stripping you of a good mood for a good long while. You tried your hardest to fall asleep and put the day behind you like you know you probably should. Things were said and done and there was no changing it, so the most you could do was sleep and restart the next day. But you couldn’t.

You tossed and turned on that mattress for a good half hour, riddled with discomfort and your mind plagued with just one thing, just one person. You knew he’d be awake, that was something you were certain of even if he pretends to be asleep like he sometimes does.

Indecision weighs you down as you sit on the edge of the bed, feet pressed to the cold concrete floor. It tugs you in every direction as you walk to the door with reluctance and ultimately step into the dimmed hallway. It was quiet as ever as you walked, footsteps much quieter than the squeak of your rain soaked boots.

It took some walking before you saw the light in the kitchen streaming into the hall, heard the clatter of a few dishes. You made it to the doorway, made it all the way there before you froze. You paused and waited, waited to work up the nerve. It could have been Sam, it very well could have been him but the thud of his boots answered that for you, a sound that drew closer and had you turning and walking away.

You didn’t get very far.

“Y/n?” You froze once more and paused, waiting a moment before you turned around. His gaze was on you as you looked up at him, your brows furrowing. “It’s raining, isn’t it?”

You sigh, shifting on your feet. “No, not really.”

“You’re wet, Y/n.”

“I took a shower,” you counter, too fast for your words to be true. It’s quiet as he nods, completely unconvinced by your words and he hears the edge to your tone.

His mouth opens and closes a few times with words he doesn’t even know are on the tip of his tongue. There’s too many things he wants to say at once, namely the bang up job you did at cleaning that scrape on your cheek. Or the way you look like you’re chilled to the bone. Or maybe a spew of words of how much he regrets listening to you, how he hates himself for listening and letting you go like that.

But he finds he doesn’t have the opportunity when you find yourself doing the same, only you do find words to say.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” you say, looking at him for a moment before turning away and walking back down the hall.

You don’t see the way his hand reaches out, or the way it drops back to his side because you’re too busy rushing back to that miserable spare bedroom with another regret to add the the hefty and ever growing pile. It grows heavier when you hear that door close down the hall. It grows more and more as the seconds pass, as the minutes pass in that less than comfortable stupid spare room.

It’s laughable for you to think you’d make it a night on your own in there, not with the way you’re wiping angry tears away. It didn’t feel good to be at odds with him, not when it’s fueled by nothing more than stupidity and stubbornness at this point. There was no good reason to avoid him, no good reason to leave him standing there like you did.

You couldn’t take another minute.

You were quiet as you slipped out of that room with the intention of never returning to it, quiet as you padded back down that dimly lit hall towards your true home, rather the one that resides in that room. You’re timid as you twist the knob and open the door, finding green eyes laying on his side of the bed, the lamp switched off.

You swallow thickly as you stand there timidly, your lip between your teeth in a nervous habit. You let the moments pass as you stand there unsure of yourself, waiting a moment more before you close the door behind you. You circle the bed and climb in quietly, under the blankets before you turn and lay on your side too, your back to him.

It’s tense at first, tense for a good long few minutes with nothing other than the sound of the two of you breathing and the sound of the blankets rustling when one of you moves. But that tense quiet is melted as you feel his arm draped over you, tugging you closer and closer until you’re pressed to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into your skin, soft but enough for you to hear.

You can hear the regret in his hushed tone, can hear the guilt weighing the two words down. At first you’re quiet, staring ahead as your lip wobbles under your emotions. You don’t say anything but after a little while you turn around, face to face with the expression that matched the words.

You look at him for a moment, gaze bouncing over every inch of his face. You swallow as you look at him, quietly mulling everything over that you wish you hadn’t said that day. But there’s one thing that keeps coming back, one thing that weighs heavy.

“I could never hate you,” you murmur, soft and embarrassed.

You see the way he nods softly, see the way the corner of his mouth quirks upwards in a half smile as he reaches up and traces the tips of his fingers across your cheek, along the curve of your ear. He nods until he rests his forehead against yours, noses bumping.

“What do you say we take a break from hunting for a little while,” he says softly, eyes falling closed as his breath puffs warmly against your lips. “Just for a little while.”

He’s sick of the close calls, doesn’t want to think about that day for a while even though he knows he won’t ever stop dwelling on it. This was too much and he desperately wants to have a break from the fear of losing you for a little while.

You take a breath and nod, you nod and you kiss him softly and it settles the nerves rumbling around within him.

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that, De,” you whisper, kissing the tip of his nose down to his lips in a lingering kiss.

That tension of regret still hangs heavy in his shoulders, still hangs heavy in your heart no matter how many times the two of you apologize. He knows you’ll never blame him for pulling over like that, you insisted after all. He knows he’ll never let himself off the hook either. But he doesn’t want to bring it up, not now that you’re safe in his arms once more.

He doesn’t want to bring up just how much he wishes you wouldn’t play tough guy after hunts like these, just how much that day bothered him. And you feel like you could tell him a million times over just how much you love him but he knows, even if you’re beating yourself up for what you said in the heat of the moment he knows it’s just that.

You were home, he was your home. Past the arguments and huffs and puffs and words spoken out of anger. None of that mattered in that moment.

You could apologize all you want another time and surely you would, but you keep yourself in that moment.

—

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