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spine-buster · 3 years

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Patience is a Virtue ft. Matthew Tkachuk | 𝒥𝓊𝓈𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒

CONTENT WARNING: this story deals with cults, polygamous cults, escaping cults, strict adherence to religion, gender roles, abuse, miscarriage, and a character with a traumatic past. T͟h͟i͟s͟ ͟c͟h͟a��p͟t͟e͟r͟ ͟s͟p͟e͟c͟i͟f͟i͟c͟a͟l͟l͟y͟ ͟h͟a͟s͟ ͟m͟e͟n͟t͟i͟o͟n͟s͟ ͟a͟n͟d͟ ͟d͟e͟a͟l͟s͟ ͟w͟i͟t͟h͟ ͟m͟i͟s͟c͟a͟r͟r͟i͟a͟g͟e͟ ͟a͟n͟d͟ ͟s͟e͟x͟u͟a͟l͟ ͟a͟s͟s͟a͟u͟l͟t͟.͟ Please be warned.

Word Count: 14,637

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A/N: “Courage” officially broke my record for most notes on a debut chapter, so thank you all so much for all your likes and reblogs! This chapter is more serious in parts, but we get to see an evolving Effie and an evoling Effie/Matthew dynamic. Enjoy!

* * * * *

Effie. Her name was Effie. And everybody knew it.

Rachel was no more. Rachel was a thing of the past and she was going to stay there. Rachel was a person who had been hurt and abused. Rachel was named by an abusive, violent, cruel, despicable tyrant who called himself Abraham and proclaimed he was a prophet. Rachel was a girl with no voice, no agency, nothing to call her own. Rachel was a girl who belonged to someone.

Effie was new. Effie was her chosen name and a thing of the future. Effie was a person learning to come to terms with her trauma after years of hurt and abuse. Effie was name by herself, for herself, to reclaim her identity after years of it being denied to her. Effie was a girl with a voice, agency, and even though she could only count a few things as her own, they were just that – her own. Effie was a girl who belonged to nobody but herself.

That was how she liked it.

Naming herself instilled a new sense of confidence within her. It was small, and it was gradual, but the people around her could notice it. Matthew knew he could. She was more assertive…in her own way. She didn’t ask “Can I ask you a question?” before asking questions anymore. She just asked. She was proud of her learning and was getting used to showing it off. Her independence increased. She’d walk to Starbucks to get her strawberry frappucinos instead of having Jenna drive her. She engaged in more conversation. She made jokes. She laughed at jokes. She went grocery shopping with Jenna and said “I want to buy corn dogs” so she and Jenna bought corn dogs and they had them for dinner one night. She went to Levi and said “I want to get a phone so I can text Annica” and so he gave her an old iPhone he had in the house. She asked Annica more about makeup, even though she was still a bit apprehensive about using it. She asked Geneviève about words she’d read and wanted to know more about. Feminism (that was the best word she learned, Effie thought. She was a feminist). Socialism. Communism. Democracy. Geneviève explained them all to her. She asked Geneviève about pants.

She wore pants.

It was weird at first, wearing pants. She’d only ever worn skirts and dresses, even in the privacy of her own home when she was in the cult. The prophet demanded it; women were not allowed to wear pants. So when Jenna encouraged her to try on an old pair of jeans that she had, Effie did. They were big – Effie was still, well, small, and gaining weight every day – but Effie liked them. “Can I buy a pair of jeans?” she asked Jenna. Jenna promised to take her shopping at the mall on the weekend. It would be Effie’s first time in a mall.

Effie wanted to be fearless, but there was still a lot of fear in her. Everything was so new, and so big, and sometimes so complicated, and she wished things were easier but she knew they couldn’t be. But instead of before, when she would let the fear overcome her, she embraced it instead. She worked through it. She did things in spite of the fear. She did things because she didn’t want the fear in her anymore.

That’s why she found herself walking now. Walking to Starbucks. Well, not to Starbucks exactly, but to the complex that held the Starbucks and a bunch of other stores. Effie had noticed one particular one a few storefronts down and had taken mental note of it for when she was ready for it. And now, walking with purpose through Aspen Woods, clutching something very important in the pocket of her jacket, she was ready.

“Chop it all off.”

“What?!” the hairdresser shrieked as she looked at Effie through the mirror, after putting a robe around her and running her hands through her long blonde hair. “But your hair! It’s healthy and it’s long and luscious and—and it would be a disservice if I chopped it all off!”

“Please. I need you to cut it. I need you to—”

“This is the greatest head of hair I’ve ever seen—”

“You don’t understand,” Effie interrupted. “I escaped a cult. I escaped The People’s Dominion of Christ. This hair was never mine; it was always someone else’s. I need you to cut it off so that it’s mine, so that something on my body is mine for once in my life.”

The hairdresser looked at Effie through the mirror, blinking a few times as she realized what Effie was saying. Without saying another word, she reached over to her station and grabbed her scissors. “How much do you want off?” she asked.

Effie unfolded the picture from one of Jenna’s old magazines that she had crumpled in her hand, showing the stylist. “Like this,” she said. “I don’t even want it touching my shoulders.”

The hairdresser nodded, placing the picture face up at her station so Effie could look at it as the hairdresser did her magic. She took one last look at it before tying an elastic loosely around the hair. “Ready?” she asked, gripping it.

Effie nodded firmly. “Ready.”

***

Effie had six numbers stored on her phone. Levi. Jenna. Annica. Geneviève. Jacob Markstrom. Matthew Tkachuk.

“Hello?” he asked as he picked up his phone.

His voice was a welcome sound to Effie, who was nervous but excited as she looked at herself in the mirror. “Matthew? I’m—I’m sorry to bother you, but can you come pick me up?”

“I—yeah—is everything okay?” his voice sounded immediately worried. “Where are you?”

Effie didn’t even know. She covered the receiver with her hand and turned towards the hairstylist. “What’s the address?”

“225 Mercer Street, Unit 13.”

“225 Mercer Street, Unit 13,” she repeated into the phone.

Matthew was officially confused. “The Starbucks complex?”

“Yes…but a few stores down,” Effie informed him.

“I’ll be there in like, five minutes.”

***

Matthew was nervous. Effie hadn’t sounded nervous on the phone, but he was still nervous. It was out of the ordinary for her to call him to pick her up from anywhere, let alone from a place where she knew how to get home from now that she took the initiative to walk most places she wanted to go. It wasn’t like he was going to deny her – he was speeding through the streets, if he was being completely honest – but the thoughts in his mind were running a mile a minute, and he had no clue what to expect.

When he pulled into the complex, he searched for unit 13 and parked right in front of it. It was only when he turned off his car that he actually saw the name of the store he’d parked in front of. Abigail’s Hair Salon.

Matthew walked in.

He stopped dead in his tracks. In front of him, Effie stood sheepishly, her long, flowing blonde hair chopped off almost completely, and in its place, a chic blonde bob, perfectly styled and perfectly her. She had a t-shirt, baggy skinny jeans, and old Doc Martens on – no doubt all borrowed from Jenna – and she looked like a vision. He couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face. “Effie,” he said her name bashfully, breathlessly, because it was so much to take in and she just looked so…cute.

“Does it look nice?” she asked, patting it down at the sides.

“It looks great, Effie,” Matthew said, and she could tell he meant it sincerely. He bit his bottom lip before continuing his line of questioning, even though all he wanted to do was look at her. “You wanted it this short?”

Effie nodded her head.

“It suits you,” he nodded. “Did you pay?” Effie nodded her head. “Did you tip?”

Effie looked scared for a moment. “Tip?”

Matthew automatically took out his wallet and pulled a $50 from inside, giving it to the hairstylist. He turned to Effie without another word. “Wanna grab some lunch?”

“You—you’re not busy? I thought you would just drive me home.”

“Let’s grab lunch,” he said casually, like it was no big deal. “Grab your jacket. What do you feel like eating?”

***

Matthew watched Effie for most of the meal, if he was being honest. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her regardless of how hard he tried. But he kept any emotions or any feelings at bay, kicking himself for anything he was feeling that was…questionable. He didn’t want to be that guy. He didn’t want to make things more complicated for her when she was already learning so much, when the world was already a complicated place for her and she was trying to find her place in it.

“What team does your brother play for?” Effie asked, picking at her plate left with all her fries. She ate her bacon cheeseburger first and devoured it in less than ten minutes. For Matthew, it was impressive. He knew she was trying to gain weight. He shuddered to think what she looked like a year ago.

“The Ottawa Senators,” he replied.

“In the capital city,” she said, and Matthew nodded his head. “You must be very thankful that he’s in Canada with you. What about your sister?”

“She plays field hockey at the University of Virginia.”

Matthew watched as Effie furrowed her brows. “She can play sports and go to university? That’s a thing?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Matthew smiled, chuckling slightly. “She’s a great field hockey player. She committed to the school when she was a junior – when she was sixteen – and now she’s finally on campus. She’s going to school too, obviously. That’s the most important thing. But she’s also playing Division 1 field hockey.”

Effie nodded her head, considering all the things Matthew had just said. Women could go to university – she knew that now thanks to Jenna and Geneviève. But…women could play sports and go to university? Women could play sports for their university? That was new information. Effie thought about girls playing hockey and whether or not they could do the same thing. She thought to Levi watching Toronto Raptors games at home and wondering if women could do the same thing with basketball. She had not been allowed to play sports. Anything more than running, women were not allowed to do. Taryn had been sixteen and had committed to play field hockey for a university. When Effie was sixteen, she was definitely not doing that. “Your sister is very lucky,” she said softly. “To be able to do that. She’s very lucky.”

Matthew knew there was weight behind those words. They weren’t to be taken lightly. He could only imagine what Effie was up to when she was sixteen years old as opposed to Taryn. “She knows,” Matthew said. “Taryn’s a really smart girl. She knows she’s really lucky.”

“It’s kind of nice how in the normal world, women can go to university, and get an education, and play sports, and do whatever they want, and wait to have their children,” Effie said.

Matthew shrugged. “If they even want kids at all. I know some of my friends back home don’t want them. Nobody says women have to have them,” he said it like a throwaway comment, looking down at his plate to grab a fry and dip it in some ketchup.

Silence. Pure silence from Effie. He stuck his fry in his mouth and noticed how quiet it got and he looked up with half the fry in his mouth and half the fry still between his fingers, like a dumbass, only to see Effie staring at him with a blank look on her face. When he looked closer, he saw her eyes were glossy. He gulped. “Wh…What do you mean that women don’t have to have children?” she asked.

Matthew chose his words carefully. He should have known. He should have fucking known, but he just had to go open his big mouth. Now, he realized the words he was about to say would change Effie’s perception of things dramatically. The last thing he intended was for the conversation to swerve in a direction like this, but they were here now, and he had to live with it. Own up to his actions. Be the person he promised himself he would be around her. “So, like…women in modern society have the choice. They can choose not to have children. Some women don’t want to become mothers. It’s a personal choice. And nowadays, women don’t feel as pressured to have families. Like, maybe they want to pursue a career instead, but it’s not even that. You can just…not want children.”

Effie had heard the word of God her entire life. It was the first thing she remembered; it was her earliest memory. Some days – on bad days – it was her only memory, the thing that haunted her most at night, and she’d toss and turn in her bed to try and get the rolls and rolls of scripture out of her head. Be fruitful and multiply. Be fruitful and multiply. Be fruitful and multiply. But this – what Matthew was telling her – this was not the word of God. This was something else. This went against everything she knew. This went against everything she was brought up to believe. “Oh, okay,” she whispered.

Matthew could tell he had just said something to Effie that rocked her foundation. And then he thought to himself ‘Of course this would be happening. Everything is new for her.’ The modern world was completely alien to her. She didn’t know anything. No women’s liberation. No women’s rights. No individuality. Voting. Elections. Doctors. Hospitals. Jeans. T-shirts. Wearing her hair however she wanted. Makeup. Cell phones. Instagram. Twitter. Snapchat. Hockey – literally the most unimportant thing at this point. She was learning, and making great progress, but things like this – these big ideas – still shook her to her core. They went against everything she knew and everything she was brought up to believe. It wasn’t easy for any person to have their foundation cracked; Matthew knew it would be even harder for her.

“Can you excuse me for a second?” Effie said suddenly, not bothering to hear an answer from Matthew before she pushed her chair back and stood up from the table, escaping back into the restaurant.

Matthew felt like there was cement in his feet as he replayed the moment over and over in his mind, the sight of Effie’s glossy eyes realizing children were optional in the real world burning itself into his mind forever. God, to find out this way – over bacon cheeseburgers at some restaurant and not in a safe space where she felt comfortable. To have it be him, a man, that told her this instead of someone like Jenna, or Geneviève, who had been teaching her everything. He was an idiot. He was such an idiot.

A jolt of electricity struck through his body and finally jolted him out of his seat, his legs making him run towards the back of the restaurant near the washrooms where he knew Effie went. “Effie? Effie?” he called out as he opened the door to the women’s washroom.

When he stepped inside, he saw Effie huddled in a heap on the floor, her knees to her chest as tears flowed down her face. Her skin was red and blotchy and he could see her chest heaving up and down. “Effie—” he bent down to be at eye level with her.

“I need you to take me home.”

“Effie—” he reached out to touch her.

The second – the millisecond, the nanosecond – that Effie felt his touch for the first time, her entire body flinched so violently away from him that it scared him. Matthew recoiled his hand quickly as his breath caught in his throat. “I’m sorry—I’msosorry—I’m so sorry—” he stuttered out.

She was silent as she looked at him for a moment through her tears. There was a look of pure fear in her eyes that Matthew hadn’t seen before, not even the first time he met her at Noah’s birthday at the steakhouse. “What if women can’t have children?” she asked, her voice so small and frail that it broke Matthew’s heart.

He struggled to find the words because it was such a simple concept for him but such a complicated one for her. “That’s…that’s not their fault,” he said calmly, but the tone of obviousness was still apparent.

“What do you mean it’s not their fault?” Effie’s tone was incredulous, like a seven-year-old child learning prematurely that there was no Santa Claus.

“It’s not their fault, Effie,” he reiterated, not knowing how else to explain it. “I…it’s not their fault. It can be a medical thing. I mean most of the time it is, if they can’t have children. And it’s not their fault,” he just kept repeating it.

“What if…what if women don’t want to have children, but can? Are…are they punished?” she asked.

“Why would they be punished? No,” he shook his head.

“Matthew…” she was apprehensive. “Are you telling the truth?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you Effie,” he said softly, wanting so desperately to just reach out and touch her, hug her, but knowing that if he did, he’d just inflict more fear in her. “I know it’s not what you’re used to, but it’s the truth. Some women can’t have children, and some of them don’t want children, and both of those things are perfectly okay.” He watched as the tears streamed down her face as she stared him in the eye. Shaking.

Then it finally hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Effie…” he said uneasily.

“There were seven.”

The words hung in the air for an unknown amount of time. It could have been years for all Matthew knew. But as he stared into Effie’s eyes, he felt an incredible pain in his heart; a pain reserved only for her, that only she could give him. He thought of how she kept all her own pain inside her constantly, how the trauma was a part of her just as her hair, her fingers, her toes were. She carried this with her every single day. Every. Single. Day.

“It’s not your fault, Effie,” he whispered. He knew better than to try to reach out and touch her again. So he settled on words, because words were his best option. “It’s not your fault.”

***

“Did you really think you’d be able to come to a therapist’s office and think you’d be able to discuss a patient?”

Matthew stared at Dr. Jessica Barlow sitting across from him – her seated on her plush chair, him sitting on the couch he was sure all her patients sat on – and he didn’t really appreciate her tone of voice. So maybe it wasn’t the most flawless plan. Maybe there were holes. But he was there, damnit, and there for a good reason. The best reason. She was the best psychotherapist that specialized in cults in Alberta – probably in western Canada, judging by how many degrees and certificates and awards she had displayed in her office. She was the best and most qualified person to help Effie, surely, which is why Effie met with her three times a week. That meant she was also the best and most qualified person to help Matthew.

“Maybe,” he mumbled out. Matthew would have been intimidated, but for some reason, he wasn’t. Even considering they were alone in her office, even considering he’d never met or been to a therapist before, he wasn’t nervous or intimidated. He was determined. “I need you tell me what I need to do. Tell me. Tell me and I’ll do it.”

“For who?”

“Effie Schaffer.”

Dr. Barlow looked incredulous, like a mix between seeing a ghost and not believing the words that were coming out of Matthew’s mouth. But then he watched as her face softened slightly, and turn inquisitive instead of suspicious. “You’re Matthew,” she said, framing it as a statement more than a question.

He knew what that meant. “Effie’s told you about me?” he asked.

It was a lost cause – he knew that the second the question left his lips, because he knew Dr. Barlow wouldn’t tell him a word. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. If dentists couldn’t even talk about their patients, there was no way in hell a psychotherapist who worked with cult survivors would say a peep about anything. “Effie’s opened up to you quite a bit, hasn’t she?”

Matthew leaned in. “Yes. That’s why I need you to help me. I want – I need to know how to help her.”

“Matthew,” Dr. Barlow took off her glasses. “First you need to tell me why you want to do this,” she said matter-of-factly.

Matthew didn’t want this to become a session. It wasn’t about him; it was about Effie. “I’ve just become her friend, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately, and—and I just want to know what I can do to help her get even better.”

“Because you’re her friend.”

“Yes.”

“Because you care about her.”

“Well, yes. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about her in any capacity.”

Dr. Barlow paused. “It’s not that simple, Mr. Tkachuk—”

“Why not?” he asked, interrupting her. “She’s leaps and bounds better than when she escaped! At least according to her brother!” he defended himself. “Listen, I know it hasn’t been a long time that I’ve known her but I – damnit, I can help her. I can help her but I don’t want to hurt her – I never want that to happen ever again, even if it’s by accident, and you need to tell me. You need to tell me how I can do that so I can actually do it.”

Dr. Barlow stayed silent. “You’ve already been incredibly patient with her,” she chose her words wisely. Matthew could read between the lines. So maybe Effie spoke about him more than he initially thought. “We should just leave it at that. I appreciate the effort, but—"

“She told me how there were seven,” he said, his voice steady and calm but firm and resolute. When he looked up at Dr. Barlow, she was staring back at him with a stoic yet shocked look on her face. “She told me there were seven, and when I tried to—to console her, to touch her, the way her body jumped away from mine…I…” he trailed off. He rubbed his fingers against his lips nervously.

“So then you know and realize that Effie was a member of a religious cult where she was routinely raped by its leader so he could impregnate her with the son of God for almost five years.”

It was the first time the word had been said out loud. He didn’t want to repeat it. He wanted it burned from his memory, from Effie’s memory, from the dictionary, everywhere. He knew it happened but he didn’t want to admit it to himself. Saying the word out loud made it different; it made it real. It made him acutely aware of the trauma Effie had been through, and how she didn’t deserve any of it, yet she was burdened with it for the rest of her life. He was biting down on his bottom lip so hard he thought he’d draw blood. “Yes,” he said curtly. “I realize.”

“I know how close – relatively – you and Effie have gotten ever since you were introduced. Her progress has increased dramatically since it,” Dr. Barlow began, again choosing her words wisely. “I know everything you two talk about on your Starbucks dates. I know you introduced her to candy and watched Little Women with her. Matthew – I’m not telling you this because I’m making some point that Effie tattles and tells me everything about her relationship with you. I’m telling you this because you’ve already been doing what you need to do. You didn’t need to come here and ask me for specifics.”

“But I don’t want to hurt her,” Matthew said, his voice barely above a whisper. “What happened that day when she told me and when—when I tried to touch her…”

“It might take a while for her body not to seize up anytime a man touches her,” Dr. Barlow said. “That doesn’t mean she’s not making progress. It’s the mental progress we want to see. And it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, either. Just give her time, Matthew. Exercise patience with her.”

***

The next time Matthew saw Effie, she didn’t know he was coming. But he called Levi and made sure it was okay, and so when he descended down the stairs into the basement and saw Effie’s bedroom door opened, he took a deep breath. He collected himself. And he moved forward. He knew he didn’t have to do this – any outsider would have said that – but he knew he needed to do it. He needed to make it right.

“Effie?” he knocked lightly on her door before stepping into the door frame, finding her sitting at her desk reading something.

She turned her head to look at him and a smile appeared on her face. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders to see her smiling. He didn’t exactly think she’d be cradled in a corner crying, but he did think that maybe she wouldn’t be happy to see him. It was a relief. “Hi Matthew.”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Of course,” she nodded, pushing her desk chair out as he walked in slowly. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been okay…” he said, biting down on his bottom lip nervously. “How—I mean, have you been okay since that day?”

He saw something flash behind her eyes – a memory of the tears, the feeling, the questions. He knew he relived it every other minute since it happened because he felt so guilty about it. He wondered if Effie relived it every moment too and whether or not it brought her constant pain. Matthew would never forgive himself if it did. “I’ve been good. Learned a lot, as you can imagine,” she joked slightly. “I read up on what we talked about. Geneviève helped me.”

“So you know it’s a thing now.”

Effie nodded. “It made me realize I never want children.”

Matthew should have been shocked by that statement, but he wasn’t. Knowing what Effie had been through, he understood why she wouldn’t want them. It was her choice to make and hers only, and nobody could or should influence her otherwise. “That’s good. Good that you can…you know, say that out loud. That you’re not forced into something you don’t want anymore.”

Effie nodded her head. “I knew it all along. I mean, children are a blessing, but they’re not for me. And knowing the way I was brought up, with abuse and no loving parenting from my parents or from anyone around me, I don’t want to pass that legacy on. I’m too scared to fall back into that. I’d have no idea how to raise a child. I know that now,” she said, watching as Matthew walked further into the room and lean back slightly on her desk. She looked up at him. There was a moment of silence between them as they were just there, staring at each other in her bedroom. Effie tried not to get lost in his blue eyes. She wondered if he could see past her calm exterior. “I’m sorry that I flinched away from you that day,” she said quietly.

“I should be the one apologizing—”

“No,” she said as sternly as she could, getting him to stop. “You don’t have to apologize for anything. You didn’t hurt me that day, so don’t think you did. I just…I get apprehensive about touch, because we weren’t allowed to, and because once I finally was, it wasn’t…nice,” she revealed, knowing he’d get the point. “But I know that your touch is nice.”

“How do you know?” Matthew asked.

“Because you’re a nice person.”

She took it upon herself to look at his hands. They were on either side of his body, gripping her desk just in case it collapsed under his weight or something – who knows. But they were there, exposed, for her to look at. They were big – bigger than Abraham’s – and younger, of course, rougher around the edges due to hockey but still better than the only other pair of hands she’d had experience with.

He caught her looking. Slowly, almost painstakingly slowly, he brought his right hand up and opened it, palm facing her, fingers pointing up towards the sky. He watched as Effie brought her hand up too, even slower than he had, opening it up and facing her palm towards his. There were a few moments where she was stagnant, thinking about how this was the first time she was going to touch a man other than her predator fake husband or her brother. Then she moved her hand closer. Closer. Closer.

When she finally touched Matthew – when she finally touched him – a million electric bolts ran through her body. The feeling of his skin on hers, his delicate yet rough touch as she pressed her small hand into his large one so she could feel his entire hand on her hand – it was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. The simplest action gave her the most surreal feeling. There were no words for it. No words, in fact, because all she could do was smile. A big, wide smile, spanning from ear to ear as she kept her hand against his.

Matthew smiled too.

***

“This was a very quick progression from ‘Can women get tattoos?’ to ‘I’m getting a tattoo’, you know,” Geneviève laughed as she and Annica watched Effie take a seat in the tattooist’s chair. The tattoo artist, a young woman with sleeves of her own, was preparing everything appropriately as the women chatted. “The turnover rate was, what, a week?”

“Less,” Annica giggled.

“When I went to the orthodontist’s when I was ten, I saw a man there with his entire arm covered in tattoos. I was so scared I started crying. I asked the prophet about it when I got back to Sheerness and he said they were marks of sinners and that the devil influenced them,” Effie laughed along with them. “But I see them on people at Starbucks all the time. I think they look really nice.”

“And you’re absolutely sure you want what you’ve requested? You’re not gonna regret it, right?” Annica wanted to make sure Effie was making the right decision.

Effie nodded her head emphatically. “Definitely. Definitely.”

“What is it? Can we see it?” Geneviève asked.

Effie shook her head. “I want it to be a surprise,” she said, biting her lip. “You guys don’t think I’m crazy, do you? Doing this to my body?”

“Absolutely not,” Geneviève replied automatically, her tone telling Effie that the notion was absurd. It was nice for Effie to know that the two women in front of her would never judge her. It was nice to know a woman could be supported in her decisions, and not be told it would make God angry and that she was sinning and going against the prophet. “It’s your body, remember? Your body, your choice.”

Effie nodded after a moment. “My body, my choice.”

***

“It’s still a bit red and itchy. Annica said I need to put an elastic around my wrist and snap it whenever I want to itch it,” Effie said, her voice filled with excitement but a certain anxiousness that was characteristic to her.

“It’s alright. Just show me,” Matthew smiled as he watched her roll up the sleeve of her cardigan. When she finally did, and stretched out her arm, Matthew’s mouth gaped open. “It’s huge!” he exclaimed, definitely not expecting it to be that big. He thought Effie would get a dainty tattoo; something small. He didn’t exactly think she’d have a “go big or go home” attitude about a tattoo – something on her body forever. But it was big. It took up at least two-thirds of her forearm. The linework and shading were impeccable; the detail exquisite. It was made up of flowers – he didn’t know what kind – but they were big and small, all sizes really, and there were a few leaves, a few stems, and it just looked so beautiful. He brought his hand up to touch, but stopped himself. “Can I?” he asked.

Effie nodded. “You can touch me,” she said, preparing herself.

Matthew brought his hand up slowly. He touched her arm, grazing his fingertips over the linework delicately. It was still bumpy, a testament to how new it was. “It looks amazing, Effie,” he whispered, his fingers still grazing delicately.

“You haven’t even seen the best part yet.”

“The best part?” he arched his eyebrow. What could be better than this?

She turned her arm over, palm facing up, where another large flower was tattooed on her skin. Matthew noticed some handwriting along the flower, and he leaned his head down to read it. ‘I am mine before I am anyone else’s’.

Matthew smiled from ear to ear. “Effie,” he whispered bashfully, just like he had when he saw that she cut her hair short for the first time. He was so bashful because he was so happy to be seeing her making her own decisions for once in her life. “Do you love it?” he asked.

She nodded enthusiastically. “I love it so much. It’s mine. It’s mine.”

***

“Did Jenna make these?” Matthew asked Levi once he was done with his stretches, noticing a giant Tupperware filled with some sort of cookies. Matthew had seen some of the other guys in the locker room with them and decided to investigate. He took a massive bite of one and his entire mouth watered. In that short moment, he was sure he’d never had a cookie so good in his life. “These are phenomenal,” he said with a full mouth.

“Nah, Jenna’s not a baker,” Levi shook his head. “Effie made those.”

Matthew’s brows rose. He gulped the bite of the cookie down. “Effie? Effie bakes?”

Levi smirked, side-eyeing him. “Effie knows how to make and churn butter from scratch. She had to learn in the cult. She knows how to bake and cook a lot of things because she had to be a traditional wife. But she enjoys baking the most. Baking is what brings her the most joy, so she’s started baking again.”

Matthew nodded nonchalantly. “She can bake all kinds of stuff then?”

“Bread, sweet stuff…yeah, pretty much,” he said. “She actually…well, she’s trying to find a job where she can put it to good use, since she actually likes doing it.”

“Effie’s getting a job?!” Matthew exclaimed, louder than he intended. Levi could only chuckle. Matthew felt the need to cover. “Where? What—where? What’s she gonna do? How is she—I mean, why?”

“She’s gotta support herself, doesn’t she? If she wants to move out, or earn her own money—”

“Effie’s moving out?!”

“She’s not moving out tomorrow, Matthew, but she’s going to be moving out soon.”

This was all news to Matthew, of course. He tried to play it cool, calming himself down and not making a big deal out of it – well, more than he already had. The fact that Levi, Jenna, and Effie were discussing jobs and moving out had absolutely nothing to do with him. He was just on the outside. He didn’t need to be part of the decision making at all…at all. But he still got nervous. Effie was still learning about a lot. And ultimately, at the end of the day, he wanted her to be safe. A safe job. A safe apartment. “Where’s she looking?”

“There’s a cute little hipster coffee shop in the downtown core she has an interview with,” Levi informed him. “If she gets the job, and if she enrols in the online business certificate program Geneviève recommended to her, I promised to pay three months worth of rent until she can pay it on her own. She’d earn enough from minimum wage and tips for sure, especially downtown.”

Hipster coffee shop. Online business certificate. New apartment. There was so much new information coming at Matthew that he didn’t know how to process it all. He was happy for Effie – he was – and he wished her only the best, but it was still a lot. “Well…when you need help moving, call me and we could put these muscles to work,” he said, flexing his arm for dramatic effect, trying to hide the fact that he so obviously cared, and miserably failing to hide that fact to Levi.

Levi let out a haughty laugh. “I’ll be sure to mention it.”

***

Matthew downed a shot of tequila – the good tequila – and smashed his shot glass down on the bar as the smooth liquid coated his throat and made his stomach burn. Noah let out a loud ‘Wooooo!’ and Sean, ever the dumbass, choked on it as it went down. Matthew almost spit up the shot out of laughter watching Sean struggle to swallow it, picking up his glass of whisky the bartender had just poured. “You’re already wrecked, buddy,” Matthew chastised him as he got control of his coughs. “You’re embarrassing.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sean sneered. “We all know you’re trying to get all your alcohol in before Effie gets here.”

Matthew chuckled. “Fat chance of that happening. Effie’s not coming.”

Sean rolled his eyes. “Well, either I’m high or you’re wrong, because she just walked in the door.”

Matthew’s back stiffened as he whipped his head around to look through the crowd of people. Sure enough, he could see Effie raising her hand to chest level so the bouncer at the door could stamp her hand. Noah made a noise that sounded like a seagull and Sean let out a chuckle and a muffled “Dude owes me a fucking drink for that one”. Before Matthew’s legs could move him forward, he noticed Meredith approach Effie; she hugged her and Effie allowed Meredith to grab her hand so she could guide her through the crowd and into their spot at the back of the lounge. The music was loud and the floor felt like it was vibrating but it was nothing compared to the beat of Matthew’s heart.

Fuck.

When Meredith and Effie finally made their way through, he saw that Effie was wearing Jenna’s ballet flats, skinny jeans that were still a bit big, and a sequined top that fit so big any other girls in the club would have probably worn it as a dress. He could feel the whisky burning his stomach and the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.

“Effiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!” Claudia squealed once she noticed her, sauntering over to her in her high heels and bending down to hug her. “You made it! I’m sooooo happy!” she continued squealing. Matthew wondered if Effie noticed that Claudia was already drunk. “Is this your first time in a place like this?”

“Yeah,” Effie nodded her head nervously. “I’m sorry—I—I know I wasn’t supposed to be here and I said no, but—”

“Are you kidding? The more the merrier! Let me take you to Andrew so you can say happy birthday!”

Matthew watched as Claudia led her to Andrew, tapping him on the shoulder to reveal Effie. Andrew was happy to see her, and – knowing better than to go in for a hug – politely held his hand against his heart when she wished him a happy birthday. None of the guys on the team had ever touched her – well, except Matthew. He seemed to be the exception to a lot of things regarding Effie, and he was proud of that. He didn’t want anyone else touching her, even if they were his teammates.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

“You came alone?” Andrew asked her. Effie nodded. “We’ll have to find you Matthew then. He’d kill us if we didn’t tell him you were here.”

Matthew didn’t know what Andrew was saying – the music was too loud, and he couldn’t read lips – but the cement in his legs finally dissolved and he found himself walking over to them, wanting to make his presence known at that very moment. When Effie saw him, he could swear her face lit up. “Fancy seeing you here, Effie,” he smiled, holding his glass of whisky near his chest.

She went in for a hug.

Matthew was so shocked he almost didn’t hug her back. Even Andrew was looking at them like he’d just seen a monkey perform a magic trick. Matthew draped both arms around her and hugged her back, making sure not to spill his whisky all over her. He tried not to let it seem like he was shocked – hugs should be a normal thing for Effie, he thought – so when she pulled away, he was already smiling down at her. “What brought you here?”

“I wanted to see what these places are like,” she said when she pulled away. She took a look down at his drink. “Is that iced tea?”

“Whiskey.”

She looked around at everyone else, noticing they were all holding glasses with drinks in them too. “Is everybody drinking alcohol?”

“Pretty much,” Matthew giggled out.

“I’ve never drunk alcohol before,” she revealed.

“Do you want to try some?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I’m not ready.”

“That’s okay. Do you want something to drink, then? Some water? I’m sure the bar can make you a virgin drink if you ask for it.”

“A virgin drink?”

“Virgin means no alcohol,” Matthew covered quickly. “They’ll make you whatever you want.”

Matthew watched as Effie considered it, looking over to the bar before she shook her head. “I’m not thirsty yet. I’ll go when I’m thirsty.”

***

Effie didn’t dance. She didn’t drink. All she did was look.

By looking, she was learning. She watched how people interacted with one another in this type of setting and she internalized it. She watched girls approach the bar and get served by the bartender. She watched as guys flirted with them and bought them drinks. She watched people take shots and then ask for another. She watched people get handsy, with touches on hips and lower backs and arms the most popular spots she saw men putting their hands on women. She watched people drag one another towards the dance floor. She watched kisses being placed on necks and shoulders and lips, tongues dragging across, shocked that people would be doing so out in the open. She watched girls raise their drinks in the air and kick their leg up as they posed for photos with their friends. She watched girls move their hips seductively. She watched guys getting their bodies as close to them as possible.

“What are they doing?” she asked Matthew as she watched them dancing like a hawk.

“Uh…it’s called grinding.”

She’d talk, and ask questions, and Matthew was beside her the entire time answering her questions and milking his whisky, not caring that he wasn’t partying with Andrew or with the other boys, because when Effie was around, he was all about Effie – nobody else mattered. He’d stay with her until last call if she wanted to stay that late. He’d already resolved that he’d be going home when she was going home because he needed to make sure she got back to Aspen Woods safe, and also because there was no reason to be at the club when Effie was gone.

Did he hear himself? Did he really just say there was no reason to be at a club full of beautiful girls during his friend’s birthday?

Fuck.

Noah, Sean, and Johnny ended up coming back to the booth for some water. Johnny made eyes at Matthew and Matthew subtly gave him the finger; Effie didn’t notice because she was looking over at the bar. “I’m thirsty. I’m going to go get a drink.”

“Let me go for y—”

“No,” she said sternly as Matthew was about to get up, standing up herself and holding her hand out. “I’ve watched. I know what I need to do. I can go.”

Matthew gulped. He didn’t want to deny her independence but he didn’t want her to go alone. “Are you sure?” he asked. She nodded, and Matthew had to let her go. And all he did was look.

***

Effie approached the bar slowly, trying not to get shoved around by people crowding around the bar. It was much busier actually being in the crowd than just looking at it, and Effie was almost regretting her decision. She’s never been in a place with so many people. Well, that was a lie, maybe – church was always busy, obviously, especially the church for the People’s Dominion. Sundays were the worst. But there were definitely not this many young people congregated in one place. Effie knew this is what young people did in the normal world – Geneviève told her so. It was one thing to know about it, to be apart from it in a different area and watch; it was something completely different, actually being in it.

She made her way to right behind a few people at the bar – some scantily clad girls with some really pretty dresses on. Effie admired their beauty. They had beautiful long eyelashes and their lips were red and berry-coloured. Their skin was flawless and tanned – weird for April in Calgary, but tanned nonetheless. Effie wondered if they were wearing makeup, and wondered whether or not she’d ever wear makeup herself. When they got their drinks, they began to move. One of them noticed Effie behind them and gave her a quick up-down. “Take our place, sweetie,” she said, letting Effie move into their place before she watched them make their way through the crowd and back onto the dance floor.

After watching, she knew now she had to get the attention of one of the bartenders. Every single one of them was busy pouring drinks. She watched as a couple of men on the opposite end of the bar raised their hands and the bartenders went over to them, so she decided to do the same. After a few minutes, a bartender came. “What can I get you?”

“Um, water please.”

“You driving tonight, darling?”

Effie shook her head. “I don’t drive. I just don’t drink alcohol.”

“Do you want anything more exciting? I mean I can at least get you ginger ale or a coke.”

Effie didn’t like coke – she thought it was too sweet – but when he mentioned ginger ale, she reconsidered. “Okay. Ginger ale is good.”

The bartender nodded, grabbing a glass and filling it with ice before getting the drink gun. “Do you have a tab going?”

What was a tab? Effie shook her head. “What’s a tab?”

The bartender looked at her skeptically. “How are you paying, darling? Are you with a party?”

“Oh! I’m here for Andrew’s party! Andrew Mangiapane.”

“Got it,” the bartender winked. “Here you go, darling. Enjoy.”

Effie grabbed the drink and took a sip out of the straw. It was nice and cold, just the way she liked it. Just as she was about to leave and go back to Matthew, a big body slipped into the empty space beside her. A man – a very large man, it seemed, though she was so small that every man looked large to her – took up all the space. He was looking down at her with a very, very amused expression on his face. “Ginger ale, girl?” he mocked her.

Effie couldn’t tell. “What’s wrong with ginger ale?”

“You’re gonna come out to a bar looking like a walking felon and order ginger ale?” he pressed, winking at her.

“A walking felon?” she repeating. She didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.

“Let me buy you a drink,” he said. “A real drink.”

“I don’t drink.”

“Wanna start?”

“No,” she said firmly.

“That’s fine. I can think of better things we can get up to than drinking, anyways,” he smiled.

Effie furrowed her brows. “Like what?”

The guy smiled, and it was creepy, and she finally saw behind his eyes every thought and every intention he currently had. “Let me show you,” he said, and Effie saw, out of the corner of her eye, that he was bringing his hand up to touch her. At the same time, he was leaning his head down.

“HEY!” a loud voice boomed, and Effie immediately recognized it as Matthew’s. Before she could even see him or realize where he was coming from, he squeezed his way in between him and the man. Matthew’s hands were now on her body instead, the man’s hand nowhere near her. “Get the fuck out of here, buddy.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“You touch her one more time and you’re fucking dead,” Matthew growled.

“Dead, eh? So you get to touch her but I don’t?”

“Fuck off.”

Effie was taken aback by the anger in Matthew’s voice. She’d never seen or heard him so angry. She knew he was capable of it, by how he played hockey, but she didn’t think he’d be able to get this angry in a social setting. Her body tensed up. “Can we go back to our booth?” Effie asked loudly, placing her hand on Matthew’s, hoping to get his attention.

Matthew looked back at her quickly, and when he saw the trepidation on her face, he immediately listened to her. As he turned to leave, pushing Effie ahead of him with his hands still on her waist guiding her, he heard the man make one last call out to Effie. “You don’t want to have some fun, girl? I can show you a better time than this dick with my dick!”

Matthew had had it. He knew he couldn’t punch out a guy in a bar. He knew he couldn’t do much without causing a scene and the cops getting called and everything getting out of hand. So instead, he used everything at his disposal to make his point, the most important thing being his size. He turned around and flexed, standing up straight and making himself as physically big as possible, bumping up against the guy on the chest and backing him up against the bar. He had only a few inches on the guy, but he was suddenly intimidated. “You even so much as breathe in her general direction and I won’t hesitate to knock your teeth down your throat,” Matthew growled, making fists with his hands. He didn’t even wait for the guy to say anything. Instead, he just turned and walked away, noticing Effie waiting for him in the crowd.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“It’s fine,” he said curtly, leading her out of the crowd and back to the booth.

“Are you sure, Matthew?”

“Positive,” he mumbled as they finally got to the booth.

Effie turned around to get a good look at him. She knew he was lying because she could see how angry he was on his face. She got nervous – really nervous. “Matthew—”

“Did he touch you? He didn’t touch you, did he?” Matthew demanded. He needed the answer to be no so he could calm down.

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

Everything in Matthew suddenly cleared. All he saw – all he was able to see – was Effie’s face, and how nervous she was, and how she was looking up at him with a certain tenseness. “Effie—no—I could never be mad at you. I’m mad at that guy for being gross.”

He noticed Effie furrow her brows slightly. “Was he trying to get me to have sex with him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what he wanted. But he was being gross and the second I saw him wedge his way into the bar I got up.”

Effie nodded. “But you’re not mad at me, are you?” she asked again.

“Never, Effie. Never.”

***

Annica had never been more flabbergasted or without words than when Effie asked her to explain what Instagram was. Geneviève had to step in, giggling as she mixed together the baked feta pasta the girls were having for lunch. “It’s supposed to be a platform for sharing pictures,” Geneviève explained. “You know, like the book you’re reading, or where you’re going, if you go on vacation, or if you see something cool, or let’s say you go out to eat and you want to show what you’re eating…that sort of thing.”

“People want to know that stuff?” Effie asked innocently, causing the girls to giggle. “People want to know that about me?”

“I’d love to follow you on Instagram. I’d love to see how you see the world,” Geneviève said. “It would be a breath of fresh air, to be honest.”

“How would it be a breath of fresh air if everybody is doing it?” Effie asked again.

“Everybody’s not doing it. That’s the point,” Annica said. “Instagram has transformed into this, like…God, I don’t even know what to call it. It’s one big advertisement now.”

Effie considered what the girls were telling her. She trusted them both, which is why she asked. Annica talked about it a lot, and was on it a lot, which is why Effie became interested in it in the first place. Geneviève was on it too, of course, running her own account and also having access to the account for her literary magazine Atomic (she’d given Effie a bunch of old copies to read through, and she was going to devour them right after she finished Geneviève’s book, which was technically a collection of essays). For a girl who just wanted to be as normal as possible, it seemed to her like Instagram was the logical next step. “Can…can you guys help me make a profile?”

“Of course,” Annica said as all three of them sat down at the table. “We can do it after lunch.”

“I’m not your therapist, but you should use it to chronicle your journey and what you’re doing outside of the cult now,” Geneviève offered. “That’s what I meant when I said I’d love to see how you see the world. You can post all the things you’ve been baking recently, or the pretty things you see in Calgary when you’re out and about on one of your walks.”

The second that Geneviève mentioned ‘chronicle your journey’, it was like a switch went off in Effie’s brain. She nodded her head. “That’s what I’m gonna do. Let’s make a profile after lunch.”

***

FOLLOW REQUEST: effieschaffer7

You have accepted effieschaffer7’s friend request.

Effie?????

Hi Matthew

U made an insta?

Is it okay if I follow you? Annica helped me

Yes of course it’s okay if u follow me

I am going to post my baking I think

That’s good! I will have to try some one day

When you get back from the road trip there will be something new. Levi requested a lemon meringue pie and you can have some too if you want.

I’m gonna make sure Levi drives us home then

***

It was Effie who swung the door open excitedly. Matthew was excited to try the lemon meringue pie, but apparently she was excited about something else. Her eyes were as wide as the moon and as bright as the sun. “I got the job!” she screamed.

Levi dropped his bag as he screamed, catching her as she jumped from the doorway into his arms. Matthew started cheering too and started clapping; it was only then that Effie even remembered he was standing there, but he really didn’t mind. “Congratulations, Effie!” he smiled from ear to ear. “Look at you go!”

She let go of her brother, but still held on to his arms. “That means I can get the apartment! That means I can pay for the tuition for the business program! That means…I…I’m just so excited!” She looked over at Matthew, seeing his smile, and did the unexpected.

She hugged him. She jumped into his arms just like she did with her brother and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He reciprocated easily, wrapping his own arms around her too. “That’s amazing, Effie!”

“I just—aaaahhhhheeeeeppppp!” she half yelled-half squealed, letting go of Matthew so they could get back inside. April in Calgary was still cold. Both Matthew and Levi set their bags down at the front door and walked straight to the kitchen, following Effie who was practically kicking her heels up. “I can’t even speak! I mean, this is—this is me getting to work! I get to work! I get to make my own living and make my own money!”

“You should be really proud of yourself,” Matthew said as he sat down on one of the kitchen stools. “And you get to do something you like to do! Not a lot of people get to say that.”

She nodded enthusiastically, opening the fridge. “Here, try this,” she said, taking out the lemon meringue pie she had promised them. “The owner of the coffee shop said I’m going to start with cookies and brownies and small stuff like that, and then maybe I can expand,” she said.

She cut the pie, plated it for her brother and Matthew, and handing them forks. Matthew dug in automatically, shoving a giant piece in his mouth. The second it hit his tongue, he groaned. “Oh…oh Effie…” he said in between chews. “This is gonna be dangerous.”

“Is it good?”

“You may need to bake me something every day, now, Effie. Either that or I’m gonna come visit you every day.”

***

“Piiiiiiivvvooottttt!!!!!”

“If you say that one more time, I’m gonna kill you,” Matthew screamed at Sean holding the other end of the couch at the bottom of the stairs.

“Piiiiiiiiivvv—”

“Monahan!”

“Is everything okay, boys?” Effie’s sweet voice asked from the top of the stairs, popping her head out of her brand new apartment.

“We’re fine!” Matthew called out, not wanting her to worry. “Monahan is just being a jackass!”

“Am not!”

They got the couch upstairs. They got the bedframe upstairs. They got the mattress upstairs. In a little one-bedroom apartment above a storefront on 8th Avenue SW in downtown Calgary, Effie Schaffer was moving in. Well, Effie was in her apartment unpacking boxes and organizing everything. Levi, Matthew, Sean, and Jacob were helping move in her furniture. She was going to thank them gracefully with another pie – this time, she’d experimented with a banana cream pie with salty bourbon caramel. It was in the fridge waiting. Each of them would get a nice big slice.

Geneviève came over for a bit, helping Effie with organizing the kitchen. And Jenna dropped by after work, making sure everything was in order. Jacob and his piece of pie left with Geneviève, and Levi and his piece of pie left once he knew everything was in order, and Sean and his piece of pie left after he and Matthew had finished putting the couch together. Matthew hadn’t left with his piece of pie yet. Matthew stayed.

“This apartment is so great for you, Effie,” he said as he sat down on the couch, admittedly exhausted from all the hauling but despite that, still not wanting to leave. There was so much to do and say and admire with Effie now that people weren’t around, and though he’d never admit it out loud to them, he always wanted to be alone with her. It was different when he was alone with her. With other people around, he couldn’t stare at her too long without being caught, or they couldn’t talk about things from their previous conversations that only they knew about. With people gone, they could. He’d stay until Effie told him to go home; if she would even tell him to go home. He was unsure if she knew she could tell people to leave because she was tired or just wanted to be alone.

“Tomorrow Levi and I are going to go to the mall to get me a laptop for school,” she said, opening her fridge. “My course starts in June. It’s going to be really exciting.”

“That’s great,” he said, looking at her from the couch. “It’s business, right?”

She nodded her head enthusiastically. “Business administration. Are you going to come try this pie or what?”

Matthew hauled his sore body off the couch and made his way towards the kitchen, standing next to Effie as she sliced a piece of the pie for him. He reached over her head and grabbed two plates from the cupboard, setting them down. Their bodies were close – purposely, he had to admit selfishly, on his part – so that every time she turned the pie and made a slice, her arm and elbow would touch him. He watched as she carefully plated the slices.

Before she moved to grab the forks, she looked up at Matthew. “Can I try something?” she asked timidly.

He furrowed his brows slightly. “Of course.”

Effie hesitated, looking Matthew in the eye, wondering if she should really go through with what’s been on her mind since Andrew’s birthday party. She resolved with herself to never let fear get in the way of her making a decision in her new life, especially now that she was free to make those decisions. So she did it. She did what she wanted to do.

Effie Schaffer stood on her tip-toes and kissed Matthew Tkachuk.

It was light, chaste, and pure; no tongue, no longer than three seconds, and no warning. But she kissed him. With her eyes closed. And for the first time in a long, long, long time, when she closed her eyes and kissed someone her body didn’t seize up. When she closed her eyes and kissed him, she didn’t think of the other kisses she had to endure rather than enjoy. When she closed her eyes and kissed him, she didn’t see Abraham. Matthew’s lips were much softer; there was nothing about him like was like Abraham, not one atom on his body. She liked it that way. And the fact that she didn’t remember her past life when it happened made it all the better for her.

Matthew, for his part, was shocked. Shocked that she, Effie Schaffer, who grew up abused in a cult and didn’t start wearing pants until just a few months ago, would do something so forward. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it to happen, because he did, against all of his better judgement and the rational side of his brain telling him not to. “Was that okay for you?” he asked softly.

Effie nodded. “Of course it was. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think it would be okay for me.”

Matthew’s word vomit got the best of him. “Do you think it—”

“Don’t talk to me like you’re my therapist please,” she said quickly. “Talk to me like you’re a guy.”

“Sorry,” he apologized quickly.

Effie looked down, suddenly nervous. She wasn’t second-guessing her decision to kiss him, but what she was doing now was wondering what Matthew thought of it. He’d kissed her back. He didn’t just stand there and take the kiss – he kissed her back. He moved his lips too. That meant something, right? “Matthew?” she finally asked, her voice soft.

“Hmm?”

“Do you like me?” she asked.

“Of course I like you, Effie.”

“No, I mean do you…do you like me. Like how boys like girls sometimes.”

Matthew looked her in the eye, his entire ego dropping to the pits of his stomach. Having the completely inability to be able to lie to her, he gave her a quick nod of the head. “Yeah, I do.”

Effie bit her bottom lip. She didn’t know a lot, but she knew this was a huge moment. But she swallowed hard, her thoughts getting the best of her. “Even after everything that happened to me?”

Matthew’s heart broke. It always did when he spoke with Effie. “Of course,” he said simply. “You’re not what happened to you. You’re so much more than that, Effie.”

Effie nodded her head. She knew that. Dr. Barlow, Levi, Jenna, Geneviève – everyone important in her life had been telling her that. She knew it was true, but she needed to hear the words from Matthew. She couldn’t just assume them. “I want to let you know that was the first time in my life that I’ve initiated…physical contact with a man,” she said quietly, her voice just above a whisper. “I did it…I did it with you because I feel comfortable with you. I wouldn’t have even thought about doing that a year ago but…but you’ve really helped me these past few months, and you make me feel so comfortable to try new things like corn dogs or kissing. Even just…you know, touching. I just want you to know that.”

Matthew nodded. This was huge. He was pretty sure he hadn’t let out a breath since her lips met his. “I hope you always feel comfortable around me.”

“I think I will,” she said, smiling slightly.

Matthew smiled. “Well, in that case, can I kiss you again?”

“No.”

Matthew chuckled to himself. Her deadpan delivery dissolved everything. She was in total control. “Fair enough.”

Effie moved to grab the forks from the drawer she was standing in front of. Before she put them on the plates, she looked up at him again. “But if I kissed you again, would you like it?”

Matthew nodded his head. “Would you?”

Effie nodded her head.

***

“What about this?” Matthew asked, pointing to a fake plant hanging from a little black pot. “Everybody loves fake plants.”

Ikea had a lot of options – too many, if Effie was being honest. But she nodded her head, and Matthew took the initiative to grab the plant and put it in the cart. There were a bunch of frames already in there, and some decorative stuff for her new place. “Matthew?” she looked up at him.

“Hmm?” he looked down.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

“I’ve got an Americano with room for milk for Matthew!” the barista called out, setting the drink down on the counter. Matthew approached to grab his drink, bringing it to the other station where he was able to pour in his milk and two packs of brown sugar before popping the lid on. He rejoined Effie.

“Does it feel like you’re cheating when I bring you to Starbucks?” he asked her in a light-hearted tone.

“Matthew?” she looked up at him.

“Hmm?” he was already looking down.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

“I think these are your best ones yet,” Matthew said through a mouth full of chocolate-dipped almond biscotti. Effie was trying out recipes. He was her unofficial-official taste-tester. The whole team was, really. And if they sold well in the coffee shop, the manager would allow her to expand. So far, so good. “I love the almond flavour. It’s there but it’s not too strong, you know?”

He watched as Effie nodded her head. “Matthew?” she asked, looking at him eye-to-eye since he was sitting down on one of the stools in her kitchen.

He knew what was coming.

She leaned forward and kissed him. His lips tasted like almonds.

***

“Are you excited for the movie?” Matthew asked as he poured the popcorn from the steaming hot bag into the bowls Effie got for them.

“Very,” she nodded. Tonight they’d be watching Emma, the 2020 movie version of Jane Austen’s classic. Effie liked to see all the amazing clothes the women used to wear. A part of her wanted to dress up like that now, but she knew she’d get stared at. The other part of her never wanted to wear a dress again if she didn’t have to. “Matthew?” she asked.

“Hmm?” he looked down at her. He knew what was coming.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

It was always when the two of them were alone. It never happened when she would wait for him and Levi and Jacob with Jenna and Geneviève after games. It never happened if they were ever out with a big group, or even just with Levi and Jenna. Matthew was sure Effie had told them she was kissing him – she probably told Dr. Barlow too, now that he thought about it – but nobody had ever approached him about it. “I heard you’ve been kissing Effie.”

It was always the same, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. They were alone. They were usually doing something mundane. Then Effie would ask “Matthew?” in her soft, sweet voice. He’d look down at her. She’d go on her tip-toes, and she’d kiss him.

It was always initiated by her.

***

“Can I take you out on a date?” Matthew asked one day when they were alone in her apartment.

Effie looked shocked. Surprised, even, though Matthew didn’t think the question was out of the ordinary. “You…you want to go out on a date with me?” she asked.

“Yes, of course I do,” Matthew said, wanting there to be no doubts in her mind. “You know that I like you, Effie. I think it’s something that could be really fun for you…for us.”

Effie was deep in thought – Matthew could tell. She nodded slightly. “We have been doing a lot of kissing lately…” she mused. He couldn’t help but smile, even though it faded slightly when she looked up at him nervously. “Matthew, I—I’ve never been on a date before.”

“I figured as much.”

“I mean, I—even with Abraham. He never—I mean, I was just told I was marrying him because he wanted me. I told you that. But even before that. Women couldn’t date. Nobody could—I mean most couples were just thrust together, but—but—women weren’t even allowed in the same room alone with the opposite sex because we’d tempt them.”

“I know Effie, it’s okay,” he said softly. “Listen, if you’re scared or nervous or not ready, we don’t have to. But you know that I like you. And I know you like me too. It’s what people do when they like each other. So if you’ll let me, we could go out for dinner or something. Nothing too big or fancy. Just a dinner.”

If she went on a date with Matthew, Effie would be giving a giant middle finger to her past. She would be asserting her agency in making her own choices. She’d be doing something she wasn’t allowed to do for eighteen years of her life. It was an action of justice at its very core – going on a date with a boy because she liked him and found him attractive. She wasn’t even allowed to touch other men besides her husband less than two years ago because of his abusive and totalitarian “sermons”. She remembered back to her begging to her mother not to get married at fourteen and her mother refusing to listen to her. Here was Matthew saying “If you’re scared or nervous or not ready, we don’t have to.”

Effie nodded her head. “I want to go out on a date with you.”

Matthew smiled bashfully. He was sure his cheeks were going to turn red like some sort of teenager. “What kind of food d’you wanna eat?”

***

“How’d you get that shiner, buddy?” Sean asked.

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled.

***

“What the hell happened to you?” Johnny asked the moment he saw him in the locker room.

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled.

***

Mark Giordano was not happy to see one of his star players show up to the arena with a black eye. But he didn’t want to confront Matthew in a full locker room, so he waited until there was only a few people around – and even then, they were far away enough that he knew they wouldn’t really pick up on the conversation. “What the fuck happened to your eye?” Mark asked, approaching Matthew

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled, not even looking at his captain.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. There had to be something, a clue of some sort, to help him get to the bottom of this. It was nobody’s birthday, so Matthew hadn’t gone out to a bar. He didn’t get into a fight or scuffle on the ice that was too bad, so it couldn’t have been that either. But then Mark remembered. “I thought you spent time with Effie last ni—”

“I said I’m not gonna talk about it!” Matthew hissed as he got up abruptly, stomping away and leaving the room.

Mark took a deep breath in, putting his hands on his hips. Kids. He had to get to the bottom of this. It was in his nature. And as captain, he took his role seriously. He needed to make sure his teammates were okay. The media was definitely going to pick up on the black eye, and they’d need a good cover. He left the locker room, following the path Matthew took, knowing he was probably letting off some steam in an empty trainer’s room. Mark popped his head into two of them before finding Matthew in a third, facing away from the door and taping his stick. Mark knew Matthew heard him walk in and shut the door behind him, but Matthew didn’t turn around.

“Sit,” Mark said sternly.

Matthew took a deep breath in but did as he was told. He wasn’t going to defy Mark – he respected him way too much. And he knew he had out let out the steam by telling someone, and Mark was probably the best person to tell.

Mark sat down casually beside him, hunched over with his elbows on his knees so it looked like they were about to have a casual conversation, just in case anyone else barged in. “Tell me what happened.”

Matthew took a deep breath. “I took her out on a date last night.”

“Effie.”

“Yeah,” Matthew nodded slightly. “And it was nice. We went to a really nice Italian restaurant downtown. She was having so much fun. And she came back to my place and—”

“Please don’t tell me—”

“No no—it wasn’t—no,” he emphasized. “I might be an idiot but I’m not that much of an idiot.”

“You can’t fault me for thinking it.”

Matthew shook his head. “She came back to my place and I guess—well, I guess because the whole thing was so new for her, it was mentally exhausting. She sorta kept saying how tired she was. I told her she could stay over. And it was fine. We were just sleeping in the same bed.”

“And then?”

Matthew grumbled. “And then I moved.”

There was a pause. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

***

“I’m so sorry,” Effie whispered through tears, looking at Matthew’s back as he sat on the edge of the bed, pressing a bag of frozen peas against his face.

The entire night had been lovely. She’d felt so good, and so comfortable, and so normal. The food was delicious. The walk through the park was magical. The thing’s they’d talked about ran through her mind the entire night. They hadn’t stopped talking. They’d gone back to his place. She was tired. He suggested she stay over, knowing Levi wouldn’t mind. She agreed. She borrowed an old t-shirt and shorts. They’d fallen asleep in his bed. And it was lovely.

And then at some point, in the middle of the night, with Effie’s back facing Matthew as he switched positions in his sleep, all she felt was a body pressing up against her slightly. So she did the only thing she needed to do.

She punched him. Hard.

She hit between his eye and nose. A loud “FUCK!” escaped him after the sound of skin hitting skin permeated through his bedroom. Her body seized up and, like countless times before, she jumped out of bed. When she turned around to look down at the bed, Matthew was clutching his eye in pain. It was then that she realized just that – it was Matthew. It wasn’t Abraham.

“M—M—Matthew,” she stuttered out.

“What the fuck, Effie?!” his temper got the best of him.

“M—Matthew—I—I thought—Abraham—I thought you were Abraham—”

With his one clear eye, he looked at her. His chest was heaving. But he didn’t say anything. His shoulders slumped slightly. And without saying anything, he got up out of the bed and walked out of the room.

Effie immediately dropped to her knees on the bed. It’s what she would have done before, to ask for forgiveness for denying her husband satisfaction whenever and wherever he wanted it. But now, in the new world, in her new world, it wasn’t like that. She didn’t have to repent for her sin. It didn’t have to be that way. Abraham wasn’t in bed with her. It was Matthew. Sweet, soft, rough around the edges Matthew.

She started crying. She couldn’t believe that she’d just done that to him. She cried so hard she didn’t even realize he’d come back into the room quietly, with a bag of peas pressed against his face where she’d punched him.

After she apologized, and he said nothing, she crawled over to him, the last of her tears spilling over her cheeks. She lay her hand on his back. “Matthew—”

He flinched at her touch. She recoiled her hand back so quickly she didn’t know she could move that fast. Her heart tightened in her chest, knowing she’d just caused him – and was continuing to cause him – such physical pain, when all he’d given her over the last few months was patience and support.

Matthew heard her sharp intake of breath when he flinched. He didn’t mean to flinch – really – he just didn’t expect her to touch him after she’d just punched his face for brushing up against her. He took a few deep breaths to control his emotions before he looked behind him, seeing her tear-stained face looking at him.

When he saw the lingering fear in her eyes, he couldn’t be angry.

***

Matthew played his hockey game, and he managed to score a goal and record an assist, but after the game, his mind was somewhere else. Effie hadn’t shown up to the game; she wasn’t waiting with Jenna and Geneviève, and Jenna told him she was tired from work which is why she stayed home. He needed to talk to her. Needed to talk to her. But he didn’t know how, and he didn’t know what to do.

Jacob, Geneviève, Levi, and Jenna all left early, leaving him to go home alone. He trudged down the hallway and took the elevator to the parking garage, his feet dragging on the concrete and he walked with his head down, a storm forming in his mind about what he was going to do.

“Matthew?” he heard a soft voice.

He shot his head up. For a second he thought he was hallucinating, or some sort of mirage, but no – Effie was in the parking garage, standing right next to his car. He had no idea how she got in but at this point he didn’t really care. All he cared about was that she was there. He rushed over to her as quickly as his legs would take him. “You’re here,” he said, once he got close to her. Her face was red and blotchy. He hated seeing it like that. It reminded him of the incident in the washroom. “What’s going on?”

“I spent the whole day crying thinking about what I did to you,” she said, her voice sounding like she was on the verge of tears again.

“Effie, I told you it was alri—”

“It’s not alright, Matthew,” she asserted. He’d said it all last night while she was profusely apologizing, but she didn’t believe him. He’d said it up until she was picked up by a taxi to be taken back to her place. He’d begged her to stay. She couldn’t see how she could when she’d just punched him in the face. “I wish you would stop saying that. I hit you. I gave you a black eye. Nothing about that is alright—”

“Effie—”

“I just—I thought you were Abraham because he’d do that a lot and—because I would always try to say no otherwise, and so he had to get me at a point where—”

“EFFIE,” he said loudly, over her frantic voice, and she stopped immediately. They stared at each other for a few moments in pure silence before Effie could feel Matthew’s hands grab hers. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she nestled her face into his chest and inhaled his scent. A wave of peace flowed throughout her body. He hadn’t asked to touch her, but at the same time, she hadn’t flinched. His touch was so…so pure and so soft – so unlike anything else she’d felt before – that there was no reason to flinch or be scared. His hands wouldn’t hurt her like other hands had. She realized this, inhaling his scent one more time. He wouldn’t hurt her.

When he released the hug, she brought her own hands up to cradle his face. His facial hair was a bit rough against her skin, but it was still the softest she’d ever felt on a man. Maybe it was because he always gave her butterflies. Maybe it was something else. “You’re so soft, Matthew…” her voice was barely above a whisper.

“What’s that mean?” he asked, his voice equally as low. “I’m not soft.”

“Yes, you are. You are for me,” she clarified. “You’re the softest man I’ve ever felt. I don’t want that to change.”

He realized what she meant now. It hit him like a ton of bricks, like most things did with Effie. “It won’t,” he asserted. “You can count on me.”

“I know I can,” she nodded her head.

Matthew couldn’t take it anymore. They couldn’t continue this in the parking garage. “Can I take you back to my place again and we can talk? Properly?”

Effie nodded her head.

***

Matthew let Effie roam in his kitchen while he changed out of his suit into some comfier clothes. When he emerged from his room, Effie was sitting on his couch – just like she had been last night – a glass of water in her hand, sipping from it delicately. He knew she’d end up back on his couch since she had commented last night how big and comfy it was. Matthew didn’t even know where it was from – it came with the apartment. But ever since she’d sat on it and made the comment, he found it comfier.

He walked over to her slowly, and she watched him, not saying a word. Instead of taking a seat beside her, he knelt in front of her, between her legs. He was still almost at eye level with her. Boldly, he took the glass of water out of her hand and set it down on the coffee table. He grabbed her hands in his and rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumb tenderly. “Can I ask you a question?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“What happened that night? After you punched Abraham?”

Effie was silent for a moment. “I…I—I got pregnant.”

The words stabbed Matthew in the heart. He squeezed her hands to let go of some pain, and she squeezed back. “I’m so sorry for what I did, Effie—”

“You have nothing to apologize about,” she said. “You did nothing wrong.”

“But I scared you. And I promised I’d never do that. And it brought up bad memories…”

Effie was shaking her head. “You didn’t scare me. My mind did. My mind thought you were Abraham. But you’re the farthest thing from him, Matthew, and you need to know that. You don’t scare me at all. Not even a bit. Not like Abraham scared me.”

Matthew bit his tongue so he could feel some pain and keep himself from crying. To think about how she was so scared for eighteen years of her life, and now she wasn’t, and part of that was because he was around, helping her feel comfortable…he couldn’t have asked for anything more. He knew he shouldn’t feel guilty for what happened, especially since Effie was telling him what she was telling him, but he knew he would for a while. It’d take him a while to get over it. “When we went on the date…did you—I mean, did you just do it because you felt like you had to? Because you had to experience a first date to be normal or whatever? Or did you actually want to?” he asked.

“I actually wanted to,” she said without hesitation. Matthew could feel his heart beating in his chest. “I wanted to, and with you. Not with another guy and not with, like, Sean or whatever,” she said, and it made Matthew break out into a smirk. “It was you. And even though…I mean—I mean I think we could…and we would…” she tried to formulate her thought into coherent words.

“But I don’t know if we should,” he finished her sentence.

Effie nodded. “At least not yet. I’m not—I’m not mentally there yet. I’m not ready. And it wouldn’t be fair to bring you along so closely with something I know I’m not ready for. There’s so much I still need to learn…about, well…everything.”

Matthew nodded his head. He understood completely. “You know that I never expected anything, right?” he asked.

“Oh, of course not,” she said like it was the obscenest idea in the world. She knew Matthew would never expect that of her. “I think what’ll be good is you going home during the summer, and me starting my course in June…and by the time you come back in September, you might even see a brand new me.”

Matthew couldn’t help but smile at that. He rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs again. “You’re already a brand new person, Effie. When I come back you’ll just be wiser. Do you promise to message me on Instagram about everything you learn and the stuff you experience?”

Effie nodded her head, a smile adorning her face now. “Matthew?” she asked after a moment of silence.

This time, he looked up at her. He knew what was coming.

This time, she didn’t need to stand on her tip-toes. All she had to do was lean forward and kiss him.

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lochtayboatsong · 3 years

Text

The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend. I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?” It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since. I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen. The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now. But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song. It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it. Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone. Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story. Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back. Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene. Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about. First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood. The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad. (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.) One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time. Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it. After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time. Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’” And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son. Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits. LOVE IT. Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.” Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again. It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.” Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus. If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus.

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song. Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show. The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one. Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave. It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this. But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome. The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them. Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show. This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool. Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it. The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc. Love it. And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark. I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes. And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes. (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.) Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions. A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves. Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it. It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes. Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score. Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way. Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT. John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions. The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING. Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition. But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene. Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that. Case in point: King Herod. There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.” He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him. In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE.

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves. Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly. This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show. Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production. This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in. The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power. In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene. Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course. Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red. Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.” And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing. Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial. But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business.

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show. Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this. There are soul singers. There are girls in skimpy angel costumes. The parkour guys from the prologue are back. Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song. And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So. I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself. :)

#jesus christ superstar #jcs 2012 #jcs is all i have been thinking about all week sorry not sorry #ben forster #tim minchin #melanie c #andrew lloyd webber #tim rice

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tulipsandcorgis · 3 years

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Hii , hope you're well

Since you're open to crazy prompts i would like to contribute one!

What if Kate goes to duel someone who tries to take advantage of Edwina? And Edwina obviously panics and goes to the Bridgerton for help and she gathers all the Bridgerton brothers to go and stop Kate. Anthony's obviously furious because she's willing to kill herself (hypocrite) and drags them all back to his lodgings.

I'm sorry if its such a long prompt i simply had to share the idea! Thank you for all your fics!!

unsurprisingly, a long (and very interesting) prompt results in a long(-ish) answer! so here’s 1.5k words of anthony not realizing he’s afraid to lose kate, colin contributing very little to the conversation, and benedict and edwina just going along for the ride, i suppose. also featuring brief appearances by daphne and lady danbury, and mentions of an original(-ish) character. not sure if this 100% works with the canon timeline, since this is set before anything happens between kate and anthony (aka no kiss in the study has happened yet).

anyway, thank you so much for trusting me with your idea! without further ado, here it is:

“She did what?” Anthony exclaimed, staring at Edwina with a wide-eyed expression on his face. The crease between his eyebrows had deepened significantly, and it almost looked as if he were about to pop a vein in his forehead.

“Well, we were just preparing to leave Lady Trowbridge’s ball tonight — you were there, too. As were you, and you.” Edwina said hurriedly, glancing at Benedict and Colin. “And Kate saw Lord Mountbatten approach me, and before I knew it, she’d challenged him to a duel.”

“Why?” Benedict questioned, having clearly not witnessed the encounter, and Anthony gritted his teeth.

“Edwina, forgive my language, but you sister is a bloody fool.” He spat, clenching his jaw and massaging his temples with his thumb and forefinger.

Edwina paid no attention to his comment, and turned to Benedict. “He gripped my waist quite hard, you see, and made some comment about how lovely our children would be, and then Kate appeared. I’ve never seen her so furious. And then, well, she said something along the lines of wanting to demand satisfaction.”

She shuddered at the memory of Mountbatten’s mouth near her ear during a dance, his calloused palms gripping her waist with much more force than was strictly necessary. But then, much to her relief, Kate had showed up.

Benedict’s face contorted into a look of genuine disgust, and Colin’s eyebrows raised.

“Well, where is she?” He asked, almost conversationally, as if absolutely nothing was wrong. Anthony pondered fratricide for a brief moment. “I could always be her second.”

“You will do no such thing,” Anthony interrupted, glaring at his brother before turning back to the group. “This is madness. Mountbatten is a skilled marksman. With his finger on the trigger, Kate would die before the ten paces are even up!”

Edwina gasped. “We need to find her, quickly.”

Benedict patted her shoulder softly. “We will, don’t worry.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, brother.” Anthony snapped, before grabbing Edwina’s hand and leading her out of the study. “Now, I suppose we should find your sister before she gets herself killed.”

“Daphne told me that she and Kate were heading over to Lady Danbury’s after the ball,” Colin supplied. “Given these… unforeseen circumstances, we don’t know if she’s still there, but it wouldn’t hurt to check.”

Much to everyone’s relief. Anthony agreed, and the group quickly made their way to Lady Danbury’s residence, with Colin still offering advice, probably to ease Edwina’s anxiety.

“You know, I could still be her second,” He offered, turning to Edwina. “After all, I do know where Anthony keeps the pistols.”

The girl’s eyes widened in surprised, and Anthony frowned. “If anyone is to be her second, it will be me.” He said firmly. “Seeing as Benedict and I are the only two people here who actually know the rules of dueling.”

Colin rolled his eyes. “If you’re talking about the incident with Hastings, I was also there,” He reminded his brother, but Anthony was having none of it.

He picked up his pace, relieved to see that Danbury’s house was in view. Benedict, Colin, and Edwina struggled to keep up as Anthony practically raced across the cobblestones, bounded up the steps, and pounded on the front door.

“Christ, you’re going to give Lady Danbury a heart attack,” Colin muttered, and Anthony shot him a look.

A footman opened the door, and Anthony practically pushed past him, leading Edwina through the house, with the other two brothers hot on their heels.

In the dimly lit drawing room, the only light coming from a roaring fire in the fireplace, sat Lady Danbury, Daphne, and Kate.

“Ah, Bridgertons!” Lady Danbury grinned, nodding at Edwina. “And a Sharma, as well. Come to collect your sisters, I presume?”

Benedict muttered a quick, “Something of that sort,” as Anthony said, with the last shred of politeness left in his body, “I’m afraid we don’t have time for small talk tonight, Lady Danbury.”

He shot the older woman a strained smile, then turned his attention to Kate, who sat on the sofa with Daphne at her side. He shooed his sister away, and ushered her and everyone else, except for Kate and Edwina, from the room. Now it was just him, the Sharma sisters, and Anthony’s rage — which burst from him as soon as the drawing room door clicked shut.

“What on earth do you think you’re playing at?” He hissed, his eyes burning with a fire that was similar to the very one roaring on the coals in the fireplace. “Your sister—“ He pointed at Edwina. “She arrives at Bridgerton House and tells me you’ve demanded to duel with Lord Mountbatten!”

Kate rolled her eyes and stood. “He—“

“He made a comment to your sister, yes, but that is hardly something to duel over, Miss Sharma. Do you know Lord Mountbatten is one of the best marksmen in the ton?”

“No,” She said, eyeing him closely. “But—“

“He can kill you, Kate.” Anthony told her, his voice deathly serious, and her eyes widened. “Kill. You.” He repeated, either to get the words through her silly skull, or, perhaps, his.

Anthony stepped closer, his manners being swallowed up by the anger and fear growing in his chest. “He would aim that tiny bullet right here—“ He pointed to a spot just below her collarbone. “And you’d be gone before the doctor on site could get to you.”

She swallowed thickly, lowering her eyes to where his finger hovered in the air, just several inches from her skin. The air crackled with something electric and unsaid, and Anthony felt his jaw unclench as he lowered his hand.

“That won’t happen.” Kate said finally, looking past him, at her sister.

“You don’t know that.” He barked out a twisted sort of laugh, the sound almost getting caught in his throat. “If you did, you wouldn’t have demanded satisfaction in the first place. Seriously, what were you thinking?”

He turned away, his eyes burning from something that must have been the smoke from the fireplace - nothing else could’ve caused it, he was convinced - and looked at Edwina. Whatever words he intended on saying were forgotten once he heard Kate’s unforgettably calm voice reach his ears.

“Lord Bridgerton—“

“Miss Sharma, you must know that there is a person in this room who is very intent on not losing you!” He cried out angrily, interrupting her and effectively silencing both sisters. The only sounds in the room were the crackling of the fire, his pocket watch ticking, and his heavy breathing. He sighed.

“I know that your sister would rather you not die because of your protective and impulsive nature. My sister felt the same about me just a year ago.” Anthony admitted, looking down at his boots.

“And I realize that.” Kate responded quietly. “Which is why I rescinded my demand for satisfaction as the ball came to a close. Lord Mountbatten was… strangely understanding, and admitted that his comment was made impulsively, as well. Everything is more than alright now.”

“Oh.” Anthony said aloud, and Edwina breathed a sigh of relief, rushing forward to hug her sister.

“Well, Mountbatten’s foot isn’t,” Kate mumbled as she hugged Edwina, a devilish sort of smile spreading across her face as she caught his eye.

Anthony bit his lip to keep a laugh from escaping him. Good God, how many toes had she stepped on?

Soon after that, as he led the sisters to the drawing room door, Kate nudged his arm with her elbow.

“Why’d you do that?” She asked. “You know, come here to save me from death and whatnot?”

Anthony paused. He didn’t know how to respond. He really didn’t know why he was so set on stopping Kate from dueling. Was it because he knew how quickly one’s life could change due to a single moment, how a family could be irreparably altered by death? Or, perhaps, it was because he was so desperate for her to stop objecting to his suit of Edwina.

“Well,” He said, stalling slightly. “I suppose it’s because I care.”

“Oh.” She sounded genuinely surprised.

“About your sister.” Anthony finished, trying to ignore the way her face hardened. “Losing someone can be terribly difficult, and I would never want my future wife to known that kind of pain so soon.”

Edwina would have to accept his death in nine years, at most, but it wouldn’t matter all that much, since they weren’t likely to get very attached to one another.

“So you wanted to be a hero?” Kate muttered, walking through the doorway and joining Benedict, Colin, Daphne, Edwina, and Lady Danbury.

“I suppose.” He shrugged, and she rolled her eyes.

“Well, you’re not one yet. Keep trying, I suppose,” She replied, before taking Edwina’s arm and heading to the front door, with Daphne in tow. For a brief moment, Anthony wished that he could accompany the sisters home, instead of his sister.

And as he bid Lady Danbury goodbye, prepared to walk back to Bridgerton House to drop off Benedict and Colin, and finally head to his own lodgings, he was struck by the oddest feeling that when he became a hero, Kate would be there to see it.

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

Text

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

#text #another one in my bulleted review series with no rhyme or reason #sorry resident evil fans this could be a painful read pls turn away #i know almost nothing about it but i am gonna be super fake familiar and critical of this one hey ho

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bitchybutcher · 3 years

Text

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

- Gird your loins

- I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

- Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

- It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

- WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

- Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

- Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

- Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

- Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

- SAD HUGHIE OH NO

- BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

- Aw Kimiko is learning

- Her lil smile

- Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

- Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

- Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

- Oh nooooo young love angst

- Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

- Aaaaand he’s been arrested

- A nice archer bailed him out

- Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

- Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

- Oh fuck he is

- What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

- This visually impaired ninja seems nice

- That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

- OH FUCK

- Homelander what the fuuuuuck

- Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

- WHAT

- What the fuuuuuck

- I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

- Oh shit smuggled people

- Homelander is nuts with power

- Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

- Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

- Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

- OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

- Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

- Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

- Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

- Stormfront seems like fun

- She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

- OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

- I like Stan

- Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

- I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

- Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

- BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

- “Daddy’s home”

- I’m dead. It’s official.

- The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

- OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

- Is he making shroom tea

- Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

- Atrain is awake again that’s not good

- I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

- Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

- Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

- I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

- Homelander is a terrible father

- I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

- It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

- ….are the gang raiding a party city store

- I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

- AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

- Oh shiiiiiiiit

- Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

- You were right this season is weird

- I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

- Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

- Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

- Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

- I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

- The kid’s a dandelion omg

- Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

- I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

- He’s completely insane

- Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

- Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

- BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

- Or possibly laughing

- Hard to tell when they have no face

- Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

- FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

- Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

- Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

- OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

- OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

- Oop there’s the laser eyes

- Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

- OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

- Hughie don’t do it

- Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

- Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

- Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

- Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

- He’s hopeless

- Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

- OH FUCK A WHALE

- For fuck sake Kevin

- Ewwwww

- Butcher what the fuck

- Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

- No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

- Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

- Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

- ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

- OH NO

- Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

- Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

- Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

- Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

- OH FUCK

- ANNIE WHY

- THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

- OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

- Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

- Poor Kimiko

- What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

- Why is Frenchie taking drugs

- FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

- What the FUCK is thiiiiis

- Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

- Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

- I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

- MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

- I feel so bad for Annie

- Ooooo Atrain getting fired

- MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

- Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

- Vending machine date so cute

- Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

- I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

- I feel bad for Butcher

- Homelander is a scary good liar

- Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

- OH FUCK

- HE’S OUTED MAEVE

- Poor Maeve what the fuck

- Ugh Stormfront

- Shut your racist hole bitch

- Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

- Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

- MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

- Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

- Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

- Stormfront is like 70????

- She’s really good with social media for an old bird

- Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

- Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

- Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

- I FUCKIN KNEW IT

- BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

- Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

- Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

- Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

- All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

- Also this most recent one is super weird

- THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

- This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

- KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

- Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

- Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

- ….

- WHAT THE SHIT

- Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

- Not even Homelander is that fucked up

- This is super weird

- Why is Homelander crying

- OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

- Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

- Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

- “Strong female lesbians”

- Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

- I feel bad for Ashley

- She just wants to do her job well

- Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

- Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

- Oh no what’s he gonna do

- BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

- I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

- There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

- “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

- Aww he called Hughie his canary

- Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

- KEVIN GOT MARRIED

- BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

- Doggiiiiie

- Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

- Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

- Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

- This is so cringe holy fuck

- Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

- Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

- FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

- Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

- The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

- Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

- Why is there a sniper on the roof

- Oh shit it’s Black Noir

- Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

- Oh hey it’s dickless

- These two writer dudes are hella irritating

- Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

- Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

- Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

- He needs a hug

- Hughie give Butcher a hug please

- Why is Kimiko in a church

- Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

- Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

- The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

- Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

- Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

- Stormfront again?????

- Does this bitch ever fuck off

- DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

- Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

- This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

- OH FUCK

- That’s a lot more murder than I expected

- Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

- Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

- I adore grumpy Butcher

- Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

- Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

- BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

- Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

- Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

- BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

- Oop Lenny is dead

- The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

- Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

- YES MM

- OH NO MM

- YES HUGHIE

- Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

- Shiiiit shit shit shit

- Yes Butcher save your Hughie

- Oh good they all survived

- For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

- Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

- Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

- There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

- What the fuck is Sage Grove

- Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

- Oh fuck no not Homelander again

- Uhhhhhhh

- Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

- These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

- They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

- Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

- Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

- Ohhh the chip

- “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

- Oh fuck that’s a big chip

- Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

- Well that’s suitably gross

- Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

- Butcher is so menacing I love him

- Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

- NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

- Kimiko with her brass knuckle

- Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

- Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

- OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

- What the fuck is going on at this hospital

- OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

- Oh shit who got let out

- What does Cindy do

- OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

- Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

- Good job, guys

- Ewwwwww acid vomit

- OH NO HUGHIE

- Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

- What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

- Aha Butcher agrees with me

- Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

- Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

- Atrain get outta there

- This cult leader guy is an arsehole

- Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

- Awwww flashbacks to happy times

- Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

- Welp, Annie just killed a guy

- Oh shit a baby seat

- Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

- Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

- So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

- Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

- Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

- Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

- Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

- Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

- Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

- Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

- She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

- Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

- A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

- I hate Annie’s mom so much

- Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

- Butchers mum called him 😂😂

- Oh shit his dad died

- Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

- Oh boy a racist rally

- Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

- Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

- And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

- BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

- Oh shit it’s Denethor

- And he’s not dead

- Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

- Shit Lenny shot himself

- Butcher was SAS???

- WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

- Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

- I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

- Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

- Is this a cult birthday party?

- Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

- Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

- Good for him

- I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

- 11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

- Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

- Poor Hughie

- Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

- Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

- HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

- YAY MAEVE

- Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

- Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

- Well Maeve did, technically. But still

- Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

- Hughie and Annie are too cute

- Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

- HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

- OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

- Butcher in his lil jumper

- For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

- Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

- And typical

- The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

- And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

- I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

- Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

- Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

- She’s not wrong

- Oh fuck off Becca

- Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

- Oop Atrain overheard all of that

- Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

- The kid is gonna have a meltdown

- Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

- I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

- ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

- Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

- What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

- Ahahaha the news broke

- Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

- OH SHIT

- MM BETTER BE OK

- Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

- WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

- It’s adorable but still

- Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

- She’ll be fine

- She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

- AYYYYY MAEVE

- The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

- Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

- Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

- Good for him

- AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

- BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

- I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

- Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

- This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

- Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

- Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

- See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

- Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

- Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

- The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

- Aww happy endings for all the boys

- Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

- Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

- HIS HEAD BURST

- Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

- Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

- Hughie getting a real job, bless him

- Too bad it’s with the head burster

- Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

- Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

- Should I sleep or find fic to read

- Body says sleep, heart says fic

- That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

- ….Butcher fics it is

#theboys #theboystv #theboysmemes #theboystextposts #I'm back with more insanity #middle of the night is probably not a good time to be texting but hey ho #I'm still a shameless ho for Billy Butcher #that's so sad let me suck your dick about it #I mean like damn #Karl Urban doesn't mess around when it comes to thirst trapping #I need season 3 like yesterday #amazon please #the boys #season 3 #I need it

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lady-o-ren · 3 years

Text

THE HUNGER OF MY HEART

//PROLOGUE// //PART ONE// PART TWO

PART THREE

For easier reading here’s the link for ao3 (X)

Jamie stepped into the Lallybroch stables and whistled melodically through his teeth. A wide-browed grey horse poked his head out from the corner stall, hitching his ears forward as he blew excitedly through his nostrils.

"Cobhar, ciamar a tha thu?" Said Jamie fondly, firmly patting the long dappled neck of the horse and scratching behind his ears. "Di' ye miss me, my wee laddie?"

Nothing was wee about Cobhar. He was a good-tempered, but spirited 14-hand gelding that had been the first foal that Jamie's father let him care for when he was a lad, still mourning his mother and needing distraction.

Cobhar's big head came down and mouthed affectionately at Jamie's curls then cheeks in greeting, as he always had done, then descended down to his knuckles, eager for the sweet treat he could smell hiding in his palm.

"Och, ye miss being spoilt is all then? Didn'a think of me once while I was gone, di' ye?"

Cobhar huffed impatiently and nudged his head against Jamie's chest, nibbling at the buttons, while swishing his dirt-blonde tail side to side.

"A'right, laddie," Jamie chuckled, patting him again. "Here ye go. No need to knock me over." The stallion's soft velvet lips plucked the whole apple from out his opened palm and devoured it in one loud and juicy crunch.

"Fattening auld Cobhar a'ready, Jamie?"

Jamie grinned ear to ear as he looked aside to see his best friend, and now brother-in-law, Ian, amble up beside him. He was tall and whipcord lean and strong, with an honest, good-natured face about him that had captured his sister, Jenny's heart when they were naught but bairns.

"Ye're one to talk, Ian. My sister didn'a get big as a house on her own, di' she?"

Face a rich blush, Ian laughed and bashfully scratched his nose, crooked from when Jamie broke it years before, having found him and Jenny in the most compromising of ways.

"Still a wee shite, Fraser. And still redder than a roosters arse," said Ian, as he playfully smacked the back of Jamie's head.

As had everyone else in the family since he arrived back home. His uncle's, aunties and brutally by his beloved godfather, Murtagh, for being away from Lallybroch for so long. But the real blackening had come from Jenny, a feat for a pregnant woman who had once been no bigger than his thumb. Thank Christ, he had a skull made of solid stone (though as predicted she had embraced soon after and kissed him more than what was decent for a sister to).

Rubbing the multitude of throbbing black and blue bumps on his head (but after having given Ian a hard punch to his shoulder), Jamie spotted what looked to be an envelope under his brother-in-law's arm.

"Plan on feeling the bills to the white sow, Ian?"

Ian looked at him quizzically before making an "O" with his mouth and pulled the envelope out.

"It came yesterday, before you di'," said Ian, handing it over to Jamie, who curiously flipped it over.

It was a letter actually. He grinned, almost laughing, as it was addressed to James Alexander Malcom Mackenzie Fraser and had been tied thoughtfully with twine and a sprig of greenery embedded (accidentally?) in its bow that he brushed a blunt forefinger to.

It was from Claire.

Jamie glanced up to see Ian smirking at him and felt his ears blush hot.

"Ye're damn lucky I saw that before yer sister di'. She'd be holding it up to the light and steaming the seams open."

"She'd do no such thing," Jamie retorted, with a glint of humor in his eyes. "Yer wife would tear it open wi' her teeth and wave it in my face."

"That she would," Ian agreed with a chest shaking chuckle. "But our lass is a bloodhound and will find out sooner than not about the puir lass that ye've set yer heart upon."

The last was said almost in question. A hope that maybe Jamie had found a way to balm his wearied heart, knowing that his travels were not just a simple bout of wanderlust and the outlandish reason why. He had the look of a man now awakened, as if he'd been reborn. Something Ian himself had experienced the day Janet Fraser gave him his first kiss at the tender age of six and had never recovered from.

Nor had his nose.

Jamie met Ian's hazel eyed gaze.

"Her name's Claire," he beamed, not bothering to hide the emotion in his voice that rivaled the reverence of a prayer to the creator above. "I met her in London a week ago. Spent every second I could wi' her."

And leaving the woman of his dreams had been like having his heart cleaved in two.

"Then you'll have to write to me," Claire had said, beneath her gates woven green with ivy, having clasped her fingers to his, while her other hand held his arm as if to draw him back to her marvelous world.

"Letters, ye mean?" He gulped, having felt himself sway to her power.

She nodded. "I prefer it. I can't stand the ringing and pinging of a telephone. Will you, Jamie?" Her voice had sounded unsure as if it were indeed possible he could ever refuse her.

"Who do I address it to?" He had smiled, while grazing a tentative thumb to the back of her palm. "The funny house no one can see at the end of nowhere street?"

"You're a smart one." She pulled her hand away to tap his nose but had let her caress linger innocently, cluelessly, down his ginger stubbled cheek as he shivered with desire, wanting to kiss the base of her thumb, count her freckles with his mouth. "Address it to this empty lot and your letter will find me. Just don't be forever."

Jamie had pressed his hand over hers, not knowing if he could ever let her go, feeling his breath stitch tight.

"Then until I see ye again, Sassenach."

She glowed at the name he'd given her the day they'd met. Had told him before it suited her better than even her given one.

Jamie hadn't agreed with that at all and wanted to tell her what Claire was in the Ghàidhlig.

One day he would.

Perhaps strung together with the phrase stirring in his heart.

Tha gaol agam ort

But apparently a day had been far too long for her.

"I think she's the one," Jamie continued on, in almost startling disbelief as he grinned like the lovesick fool he was. "The one that's been calling for me all these years."

"Christ, man! She's real?!" Ian gripped his shoulder, matching his excitement. "Should we be expecting yer Claire for hogmanay with a wee one of yer own?"

Before Jamie could stutter a heart racing answer to that query, the two were interrupted by Jenny hollering for them.

“D’ye two want yer dinner, or shall I feed it to the dogs!?”

Said dogs, Luke and Elphin, Mars and auld Bran, howled in answer while Jamie groaned at his sister's impeccable timing.

Ian slapped his back though and gave his dearest friend and bràthair an encouraging smile and waggle of his dark brows. "Read the damn letter, man. I'll take care of yer sister. Just remember when yer wean's born to name him after me, aye?"

After watching Ian depart with a wink, Jamie threw a long leg over Cobhar's stall door (shushing the nosey beast with a promise of sugar cubes) and settled himself low in the hay.

After pocketing the bit of green to his breast pocket with a delicate hand, he carefully untied the twine and opened Claire's letter. The sweet fragrance of elderflowers and chamomile kissed the page where a simple request was written that had Jamie hopping over the stall door and running towards Lallybroch, with his pack of dogs yapping at his heels.

My Dear Jamie,

At the end of the week I'll be in Edinburgh.

Join me?

"Are ye ever going to tell me what's in this thing, Sassenach?"

Up and down the winding streets of Edinburgh, past the many sloping buildings and cafes and bitty book shops stacked beside one another, Jamie had been carrying a heavy and ornate wooden chest for Claire as she walked ahead of him, looking for the shop to deliver it to.

She glanced over her shoulder at him and her young apprentice, Elias, beside him, who'd taken quite a shine to the older Scotsman. He too had been tasked with carrying a package. It was strapped to his back, a long leather cylinder that could've held anything from mundane documents to a treasure map. Jamie wasn't sure at all.

"It's not for me to say. Besides it would only worry your dreams."

"That doesna make me feel any better," Jamie murmured, staring warily at what he held in his arms which amused Claire greatly enough to bite her posey lush lips from laughing.

"Then pretend it's a cake box."

Elias snorted, catching Jamie's attention.

"Ye ken what's in this thing don't ye, mo charaid?"

"Aye - I mean yes. But -" Elias flicked his round eyes to his mistress's straight back then cupped his hand to his round cheek. "I'll tell you later. It's downright awful and I nearly lost my -"

"You know I can hear you both? I'm not that old."

"And how old is that?" Jamie asked half teasing, half with genuine curiosity, while Elias pinked, snorting loudly once more.

Claire stopped in her tracks and spun on her heels, cutting a look at the younger lad who quickly cowered behind the much taller man.

"I'm old enough to remember Queen Victoria but not the Bonnie Prince. Is that enough for you?" She replied flatly, crossing her arms.

Jamie went a bit bug-eyed, mentally counting the decades since the little Queen's reign. Then his wide mouth twitched.

"And ye say ye're no' a witch?"

Claire rolled her eyes and continued walking but a smile had peeked on her lips that encouraged Jamie to tease her more.

"Ye ken," he began, walking beside her now and shifting the weight of the chest as he did so. "There are auld highland tales that say curls wild as yers are the mark of a Ban-druidh, and that the crows favor them to make their nests."

She tugged at her dark locks and watched as they bounced back on release with utter disdain written on her face.

"They're more of a tumbleweed curse if you ask me," she frowned, making Jamie quickly regret his words.

"I didna mean it that way, Sassenach. Truly. Yer curls are lovely. They're like the ripples in a burn when the rain and leaves fall upon it. Luminous as the sky rich in twilight. And yer eyes, Christ, they're. . ."

Jamie's voice trailed off when he realized they'd stopped walking and had the wide-eyed attention of both Elias and Claire.

As well as everyone else on the street alongside them.

How loudly had he been blabbering?

But then a smile of pure delight broke across Claire's face, reflecting brightly in her eyes, as she tucked an errant curl behind her ear, only for another far more impetuous to take its place.

"How has no one snatched up a charmer like you, Jamie?"

One had. A very oblivious one.

Jamie sheepishly shrugged and found unparalleled interest in the engravings of the wooden box he carried as his face blazed the very color of his beating heart. He looked very much like a schoolboy.

Unnoticed by them though was dear Elias, whose sea-grey eyes darted between them both, grinning sweet as pie.

Walking down another street, Claire finally announced they had arrived, and the men, sore footed and muscle strained, sighed in relief.

The shop exterior was hard wood and painted coal black while the door was a dark and flaking green. And written in gold on the long framed window beside the door, Jamie read to himself

THE WITHERED BONE

Potions // Trinkets // Antiques

The Finest Biscuits This Side of the Black Realm

"Biscuits?" Jamie murmured, knotting his brow. "What kind of shop is this? Like yers, Sassenach?"

"Not necessarily," she said, hand hesitant on the brass doorknob. "For one it's in plain sight. But if you want to call anyone a witch the three who own this place would fit the bill. I think they even have a cauldron."

"They do. I saw it with - uh, nevermind," Elias choked at the last, blushing beet red.

Claire arched her brow. "Now Elias -"

"I know, ma'am," he drawled, fiddling with the strap over his chest. "Stay away from Ms. Annalise and keep to your side."

"And Jamie -"

He looked at her smiling wryly. "Ms. Annalise?"

"Shut up," she said, playfully swatting his arm. "You stay at the front of the shop. There's nothing there that can bite your nose off."

Claire then ushered them both through the door.

Inside, it was a cluttered jumble of anything and everything. An elaborate display of lost treasures from Africa to France and most prominently the Jacobite resistance in all its doomed glory. There was an array of vintage costume jewelry, stacked stop tables against the walls and racks of overflowing clothing a group of young girls were pawing through, where one in particular, all flaxen hair and big doe eyes, was swaying to the melancholy chords of a record that crackled softly in the background.

What makes you think love will end?

When you know that my whole life depends

On you

It was a tune Jamie remembered his parents dancing to. His mother had been wrapped in his father's arms as he nuzzled her cheek, softly mouthing the words against her skin. The young girl hummed it too as she gazed dreamily at a dress in her hands.

Overhead hung a simple iron chandelier that seemed to have been ripped straight from a castle's dungeon, dripping hot candle wax to a metal bowl placed on the hardwood floors. One burning drop fell down Jamie's neck as he walked beneath them, that had him cursing underbreath as he scrunched his shoulders and knocked his knee into a table, rattling the knickknacks.

"Ye break it ye buy it, laddie," came a voice from the front of the shop. "I'll take cash and the blood of yer first born."

"Oh, Geilie," said Claire and crossed over to the counter, leaning over the glass display of dirks and sgian dhu (with a cookie jar atop) to kiss a rather wicked to the bone looking redhead's cheek. "You are terrible."

"It wasn'a as if I lied," Geilie snickered, turning her attention first to young Elias who flinched under her unnerving gaze then to Jamie, blatantly raking over his physique before Claire stepped into her view.

"Who's the clumsy stag ye've brought wi' ye, Claire?"

"A friend who I very much like as he is. No twitching your nose or feeding him your biscuits." She then mumbled to Jamie at her shoulder. "Hansel and Gretel, remember?"

"Ye're never any fun," she pouted, then pointed her chin. "Have ye a name, stag?"

"Jamie," he replied simply, not at all trusting the unsettling woman before him with more than that.

"Weel then, Jamie, ye can leave that in the corner there and you," she looked at Elias with a devilish grin as she propped her chin on her hand and drummed her fingers to her cheek. "Louise will be waiting downstairs fer ye, Annalise too. But ye kent that aye?"

While the young lad experienced a sudden shortness of breath, Jamie set the delivery down and rather dumbly asked, "What's downstairs?"

Geilie's eyes shimmered like the feral beast whose blood she probably bathed in, chilling Jamie down to his bones.

"Why? Are ye needin' an ill-wish like the wee lasses over there." She gestured over to the girls taking their leave. "Mebbe something far more entertaining and lethal like a summoning? Those require a blood sacrifice, ken. Nothing so tender as yer sweet lass here wi' her trade of bits and bobs.

She wasn't kidding.

Jamie glanced at the doorway that led downstairs, carved with cabbalistic symbols. A faint whiff of bitter herbs wafted through a pigeon blood red curtain that shadowed it, mingling with a coppery tang he could taste on his tongue, tainting the air. It churned his wame with sick.

"Or are ye wantin' - Oh!" She quickly shot a strange and startled look over to Claire.

"Leave him be, Geilie," Claire chided, unaware of the questions in her sometimes friend's eyes as she threw all her attention on Jamie.

"We'll only be a minute," she assured him with a hand running down his arm, sending a shock of steadying warmth through him that he knew came from someplace bewitching within her. "And don't worry about Geilie, she won't touch a hair on your head when she knows I can shrivel hers like a prune."

Jamie smiled at his own Ban-druidh. Must've whispered it too, to deserve the pinch she gave him before leaving with Elias downstairs to the witch's grisly lair.

"I ken what yer after, mo bhalaich," came Geilie's voice, softly speaking to him as if he were a friend. "I can see it festering in ye like hemlock, yer love fer the Sassenach."

Jamie nervously glanced over to the doorway. "I dinna ken what yer on about, woman."

"Dinna bother hidin' it, no' like she can see it anyhow. She hasn't the heart fer it, ye see. Hers was taken by her old master, the wee frog, who lived in that house of hers before she di'. She hasn'a a clue where it is, doesn'a even ken it's missin', and wi'out it she canna love ye back."

"Why - Why should I believe you?" Jamie asked haltingly, for his throat was being strangled by his heart, ripped from beneath his ribs.

"Why would I lie, ye puir wee fool? Save yerself, getaway, or that love ye carry will swallow ye whole, heart and soul and breath."

Only when she touched the tender spot on his chest did Jamie realize he was bent over the counter a hair's breadth away from the witch, close enough to see the harsh and earnest truth pooling in her eyes.

Then she pushed him away.

"All done," said Claire, coming through the curtain, and cast her gaze between the two in front of her.

"What have you two been doing?" She waved a finger at them both.

"Oh, a little talking is all. Nothing more," grinned Geilie, face a mask of perfect innocence.

Claire hummed, believing otherwise and tried to make light of whatever she saw troubling Jamie's face. "You should know whatever Geilie told you, it's probably only half as bad or twice as worst,"

"Och, I'm sure of it, Sassenach. Shall we go?" Jamie said hurriedly, not meeting her eye. Trying to forget what the witch had said.

She slowly nodded, her face lined with concern, but tucked her slender arm through his and gave Geilie a half-hearted goodbye. Immediately, Jamie felt the blood in his veins flow to his heart now beating in its proper place and air return to his lungs.

But somewhere deep inside himself, Jamie could feel the beginnings of a rotting ache bloom and take root. He was already too far gone.

"You didn't eat the biscuits did you."

He managed a weak chuckle and swallowed. "No lass." But then he swiveled his head. "Where's the wee lad?"

In five seconds flat, Claire had Elias by his arm like a child, his face a burning fever red and eyes bowed to the ground with Ms. Annalise leaning at the doorway, a beguiling smile on her face.

No time is wasted that makes two people friends

THANK YOU to everyone who reads and comments on this fic. You have no idea how much I appreciate it!!

!!MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Now Author Notes

*First off sorry for all the messy mistakes and eye gouging writing

*Thanks to @soinspiredbyyou/ @mo-nighean-rouge for help with the line tweaking "Perhaps strung together with the phrase stirring in his heart." Although hers was actually better "Perhaps preceded by a phrase stirring in his heart" but preceded sounded too smart and too good for my dummy words.

*The descriptions of Cobhar are from the book cause I don't know anything about horses.

*The song is Never My Love

*I may come back and fiddle with this chapter but I really wanted to get this done before Christmas.

*Next chapter will be the last

#jamie x claire #Outlander #outlander fic #outlander fanfiction

58 notes · View notes

lackingspace · 4 years

Text

Incensed (Bo Sinclair x Reader)

Rated: Explicit

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: Bo is having a shit morning and you’re not making it any better. When some tourist wander in his irritation spikes exponentially. Why the fuck would you think flirting with one of them would be ok?

Warnings: Bo being an irate ass, Possible offensive language, Punishment, Degradation, Spanking, Dirty talk

A/N: Ok, not my typical content, but its House of Wax day and I’m thirst af I love those boys, so I wanted to celebrate. Angry Bo just came out, so that’s what y’all get (╯°□°）╯ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

AO3 Link: Incensed

You were goddamn doing it again. Bo was so fucking fed up. It’d been a shitty morning of waking up to a blaring hangover. Breakfast had Lester and you chattering like incessant little birds while Vincent's mute ass self was somehow still being too damn loud.

He’d snapped when you laughed in the high twinkling pitch that usually hit him somewhere uncomfortable in his chest but now split his brain in two. “Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up!” Everyone stopped to stare over at him, even Vincent mid-bite, turned to stare him down.

You had a disgusted and offended look on your face that almost made him want to feel bad, but he couldn’t, wouldn’t when his head was splitting and only getting worse. You spat at him in annoyance, “What the hell, Bo?”

He grabbed his coffee cup and grunted, “Can a man drink his fucking coffee in peace? Y’all are being so fucking loud with your bullshit.” You crossed your arms and leaned forward against the table, “No, not when a ‘man’ is gonna be a dick before 9 am.” You’d said, ‘man’, so venomously he felt a tiny spark of pride because that surely was something you’d picked up from him. Regardless, he ignored it because his temper took precedence. White-knuckling his cup he took a sip before hissing at you, “The fuck did you say?”

Vincent and Lester were both looking at you now. Vinny's gaze concerned, worried, while Lester put a hand on your shoulder saying your name. You looked away from the ass at the counter and back to your friend, “Just don’t, s’not worth it.” You looked at Vincent and he shook his head, so after pursing your lips you sighed out, “Nothing.”

Bo took another sip as his anger simmered down, “S’what I fuckin thought.” He saw your jaw clench. And that felt fucking good. So when you’d followed him out to his truck after breakfast he was surprised. You walked to his passenger side and let yourself in before he could say anything. Getting in himself he turned to you, “Can I fuckin help you, princess?”

The look you gave him was like a mocking taunt, “Nah, but I could probably help you.” Bo wasn’t in the mood to play games, so he just cranked the engine and shifted gears with an eye roll, “Suit your fuckin self.”

You’d been so fucking annoying too. Following him around, commenting just enough to get under his skin, but not enough to make him want to glue your mouth shut. But God, was he contemplating it...be a waste of your pretty lips though. You’d started questioning him on mechanic things and fuck was it annoying, but they seemed like genuine questions and damn if it didn’t feel nice to have someone admire his skill for once.

But when some jock ass pricks rolled up asking for some car help, well, the side-eye you’d given him, screamed trouble. The little asshats had thought you were the receptionist, that made Bo laugh as he thought to himself, ‘receptionist my ass’. But you’d been nice and accommodating to the boys. Leaning on the counter showing them some ample cleavage that made Bo ready to say fuck his brother's art and gouge out their eyes himself for looking.

But you kept it up and he was about ready to strangle someone when you decided it was a good idea to start flirting with one of the fucks. He fucking hated when you got in a mood- you were stubborn as all get out and it never worked out in Bo’s favor when you got like this. He knew he’d been an ass earlier, but any small amount of guilt he’d had quickly evaporated. Not when he could tell you actually fucking thought one of em was cute. It wasn’t just a fake blush you were giving the twink.

Bo groaned in disgust when you laughed at something stupid that’d been said. He caught your gaze and gave you a glowering look that said ‘fuckin cut it out he wasn't in the mood.’ but the smug little smirk you returned said something different.

His mood darkened quickly when the asshole actually put a hand on you. Fucking touching you wasn’t gonna fly. Not with the morning he’d had. The little prick was on the top of Bo's shit list in an instant with your name right under it. If the little twit moved his hand any lower on your back Bo would have reached over and broke it. Instead, he didn’t and just left it so you’d realize how absolutely fucked you were.

Wiggling out from under the tourist's arm you giggled an excuse and walked back over to where Bo was. Inside you were sweating because he hadn’t stepped in like you’d thought and that spoke to how pissed he was. How fucked you were. It wasn't like you didn’t know he was mad. And, sure, you’d known what you were doing. Stopping way earlier was probably smarter, but you never claimed to be a genius, so when flirting presented itself, well, it had seemed perfect.

You’d been annoyed at him this morning, and maybe had wanted some payback. Wanted to annoy him because he’d been such an ass not only this morning but all damn week. It wasn’t fair for Lester and Vinny to constantly have to walk on eggshells when Bo was just fucking ornery.

And ok, you'd admit that you’d pushed a little too far here though. Especially with how possessive Bo was. He’d even get pissed when you tried to drink some of his coffee. So some random guy, not his brother, putting their arm around you was like a death wish. And God, was he standing beside you deathly silent-- it had you fucking sweating for real. It wasn’t the guy you were worried about, he was dead either way, but you'd maybe just fucked yourself royally. Bo's punishments were unpredictable- very good or very bad. You’d consider yourself lucky if he just ignored you or bitched for a few weeks until you were finally privileged enough for a spanking. God, there was something sick in you though because you still wanted it even if he edged you for a month before forgiving you.

He gave some excuse to the group through clenched teeth that he'd be able to work on their vehicle, but needed to take care of something downstairs first, and that they should go out and find something to do. They'd accepted his answer and left the shop none the wiser.

You'd never felt his hand grip the back of your neck faster in your life. In a deep growl, “You little bitch.” He tightened his grip, “ You’re fucking coming with me and don't even think about making a fucking peep. If you wanna be a slut I'll show you what sluts get." he kept to a slow walk until the both of you were out of view, then he all but pushed you down the stairs leading to his playroom.

He didn't even bother opening the door, just pushed you against the wall next to it-- your cheek smashed against it he invaded your space, "Think you're real slick trying to play with that little bitch in front of me?" you whined out an "I'm sorr-" but he cut you off, "What’d I fucking say?”

You cut your whine instantly, “And see, you're not sorry. You'da stopped when I fucking told you to if you were." He leaned in closer and you could hear the growl- the anger in his voice directly in your ear, "You were too busy bein a filthy fucking attention whore. Good thing you didn’t let him grab that ass otherwise I don't give a fuck how sweet that pussy is, you'd be out too. Vincent can have a hissy fit later."

Shit, you knew he was pissed, but damn this was pissed. You tried to actually apologize, "Bo, I'm s-" But his hand came up to lift your face off the wall to grip your cheeks tightly, "Nuh-uh, Don't you fucking Bo me. You're gonna shut the fuck up while I give you something to be sorry for." He pushed against your ass as he leaned over to open the door and God, he was half hard already.

Dragging your through, he made it to the edge of the bed “You're gonna sit that little ass over my lap and I'm gonna make it so Vinny’s gonna have to fucking ice it for a week." You groaned because fuck, you knew this was supposed to be a punishment and it was definitely going to hurt, but damned if you didn't need it. Him being actually pissed was hot as hell and even if you couldn’t sit for a week you really couldn’t find it in you to be mad about that. The man didn't know the power he had over you when he was pushing you around like this.

He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled you roughly over his lap. His hand on the back of your neck slid up to grip a tight fist of your hair pushing your face into the mattress. His other ripped off your skirt and panties all in one go, "You’re gonna fuckin count them you cunt and thank me for each one." You tried to nod but the fist didn't allow any movement so you let out a muffled, "Ok, yes sir." His fist tightened in preparation as your breath hitched and delivered the first rough smack to your bare ass. Your muscles tightened at the sting, "One, Thank you, sir!" he grunted and gave another just as rough-- you winced and jolted up, "Two! Thank you, sir!"

On it went until you were sobbing in his lap from the pain and how much your clit ached. “Twenty! Thank you, sir!” He hadn't gone easy, wasn’t about that. Not even a little. Taking all his aggression out on your ass and you really couldn't say you were mad about it. Sure it hurt and would probably leave some bruising, but damn it really was a good hurt.

Even when he soothingly ran a hand over the area your ass stung, "Don't give me that crying, I can tell from your sloppy pussy how much you liked this." he slid a finger through your drenched folds, "It's like Niagara falls down here. You're a little slut for this, aren't ya?" You shook your head in denial, not wanting to give him that if he was gonna be an ass about it. He slid a finger back through your folds and your hips lifted off he lap in want, "Look at that. Can't even fucking help yourself."

A swift smack shocked your system back into pain, "Don't fuckin try to take what I'm not giving, whore." You rubbed your face into the mattress trying to get yourself under control as you squeezed your thighs together. With a deep breath, “I'm sorry, sir” He laughed, "You’re really fuckin not. But I'll let it slide because I'm feelin generous.” He slid a finger into your pussy and you instantly clenched around it, but tried to stay as still as possible, “This just want you wanted, huh? My fingers in this whore cunt of yours? Think I deserve a fuckin apology after all your shit today.”

You could tell he was calmer now, but that meant dangerous. Too bad dangerous also meant sexy. And you’d give this asshole whatever he wanted as long as he’d keep sliding his fingers in and out of you, “I'm waiting, Princess.” and he slipped a second finger in scissoring them, you groaned, "I'm sorry! Ok, Bo?! I'm so fucking sorry! I shouldn't have! I knew what I was doing and that you weren't in a good mood, but I did it anyways. God, I'm sorry Daddy, please don't be mad!" you were shaking in his lap and fuck, wait...oh fuck you'd never let that slip before. Shit, you felt yourself tense up just as his cock twitched under you. Fist still in your hair pulled your face up, "What was that?!" You stayed silent and he gave a hard jerk, winching in pain, "I'm sorry....Daddy" he groaned, "Too fucking right, baby girl."

He’d started his fingers back up, roughly pushing them in and out of you, “Bein a bad girl pushing Daddy’s buttons like that. But you did so good taking that spanking.” with a twist of his hand you felt him brush up against that spongy area inside that had your hips jerk up into his hand and sobbing out a moan, “Daddy’s gonna be real sweet to you and fuck this cunt open.” you moaned again at the idea. He was so hard against you and damn did you want it inside you more than anything. You didn’t have to wait long because after another twist of his wrist he pulled his fingers out, swiped them through your folds, and gave a circle to your clit before pulling away completely. You whined, but felt him move the two of you, “Keep that fucking face in the mattress and ass up.”

Pulling your legs underneath to prop yourself up in the position he wanted, “That's right, baby. Now spread yourself open for me. Show me that pussy.” Your face burned, god he could be so nasty, but you loved it and did as he asked. Reaching both hands back to spread yourself open for him.

You heard him shuffling before you felt a hand settle on your lower back. “Look at that red ass and wet little hole.” He smoothed a hand down a cheek before he gave it a much lighter smack. You groaned and felt yourself pulse around nothing, “Look at that slutty pussy clench.” He ran a finger from the start of your ass down through your folds, coming to a stop at your clit and gave a few circles to it.

“Don't worry, sunshine, Daddy’s got somethin to fill it up with.” His hand moved away and then you felt the length of him slide up through your folds. You couldn’t stop the moan that fell from your lips as he smacked it against your pussy a few times, “Feel that? I’m gonna stretch you open real good, darlin’.” Sliding his cock back down to press the tip against your clit he brushed it back up to rest at your opening, “You gonna be a good girl and take it like a whore for me?”

Drool had steadily been falling from your lips but you couldn’t find it in you to care. Your hair was a mess and face felt on fire, but the only thing your existence came down to at that moment was the way his cock was just breaching into you- just teasingly stretching you. Slowly his words filtered through your brain to which you rapidly nodded and whined out a “Please!”

He slid in slowly before the last syllable left your mouth.

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years

Text

Omertà👄14

Warnings: noncon sexual acts (intercourse, choking); violence

This is dark!Bucky and dark! Loki and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your father was a bookie and taught you everything you know about numbers. After his death, you were taken on as a bookkeeper for Loki Laufeyson, resident crime boss in Manhattan. But can you keep your place in the background when a man from Brooklyn threatens to drag you to the forefront?

Note: This chapter kinda took on a life of its own but I like it. Hope you do too.

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Your bag arrived at your room shortly after you did. You were certain the porter had met with the same discourtesy from Loki as the valet, so you tipped and thanked him as he left. You dragged your bag over to the cushioned bench that faced the wide glass doors that opened onto a balcony similar to Loki’s. You unzipped it and pulled out a night shirt and draped it on top.

You peered around the suite. It was too much. As big as, if not bigger, than your New York apartment. The sky was dark and you were eager to bury your worries in the duvet pulled over the king bed in the next room. You passed through and continued into the attached bathroom. The shower was encased with clear glass and the tub opposite was large and round; a dozen jets embedded along the walls. It welcomed your aching body.

A bath might help you sleep. Or help wash away the taint left by Loki. Or not. Could you ever rid yourself of that sickening sensation?

You went to the tub and bent over the tiled ledge that framed it. You cranked the faucet and tested the flow of water with your hand. You adjusted the handle until a ripple of warmth shot through you. You pulled away and avoided looking in the mirror as you began to undress.

You left your clothes on the polished table by the door. You yawned and the steady deluge of water echoed in the tub. You neared and lifted a leg over the wall and drew the other in. You turned and lowered yourself against the ceramic. The basin was large, spacious enough for several other bodies. You sighed as the water swirled around you as the tap buzzed.

As the water reached just above your chest, you turned the faucet and resumed your recline. You spread your arms over the back of the tub and closed your eyes. You let your head fall back and sunk deeper. The peace was brittle. You knew it could not last.

A moment. Two. Your eyelids grew heavy as the hot water shrouded you in drowsiness.

“That looks wonderful,” The voice shook you and you sat up suddenly. You bent your legs and wrapped your arms around them. Bucky pushed himself away from the doorframe. How long had he been there? “You mind if I join you? It’s been a long day.”

“If I say no, will it matter?” You sneered and got to your knees.

You pushed yourself through the water and reached for the towel hung from the bar not far from the edge of the tub. You didn’t try to hide your nudity, it was pointless. He’d seen you already and it would be pathetic to cling to modesty you didn’t have. The towel was swept away before you could grasp it.

“Done already?” He slipped the towel free and felt the lush fabric between his fingers. “Stay. Relax.”

“Give me the key,” You stood and splashed water on the floor as you stepped out of the tub. You barely kept from slipping as you grabbed at the towel. “You asshole. I should’ve known.”

“Ah,” He kept hold of the towel, a tug-of-war between you as you struggled to free it from his grasp. “Not even a thank you? This place isn’t cheap.”

“You can keep your room,” You huffed as you continued to tug at the towel.

“Oh, but you seem to be enjoying it so much.”

His eyes drifted down your body and he wrenched the towel away entirely. He tossed it over his shoulder and his brows lowered suddenly. He reached out and you tried to back away. He caught you before you could fall against the side of the tub. He held your hips as he frowned down at your naked pelvis. His thumb brushed Loki’s carving; the outline of the snake raised on your skin. Still tender and healing.

“He did that to you?” His eyes flicked up. For a moment, you were foolish enough to think he really cared.

“Thanks to you,” You tried to shove him away.

He caught your wrists and drew you close.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, sweetheart,” He warned. “And I did not come to hurt you. That’s never been my intent.”

“Get away from me,” You hissed. “What do you think he’ll do when he finds out about you being here? If you don’t want me to get hurt, then fuck off.”

His lips formed a tight line as he considered you. You could hear Loki’s words in your head; Enjoy your night. Alone. Bucky’s hands slid up your arms and he gripped your shoulders. He turned you sharply to face the tub and nudge you forward.

“Loki doesn’t need to know.” He purred.

“Isn’t that what you said last time?” You swung your elbow back and he dodged it with a grunt.

He grabbed your arms and held them behind you. Your left arm still ached from Loki’s assault.

“Even if he finds out, what is he gonna do about it? I’ve got him by the balls and he knows it.” Bucky snarled as his hot breath grazed your ear. He pushed himself against you. “I know he’s poured a great deal of his holdings into this casino. It’s why I couldn’t pass up Diablo’s offer.”

“Diablo?” You blinked.

“Oh, the man is great at holding a grudge,” Bucky’s hands tighten on your arms. “He doesn’t appreciate Loki harbouring his enemy’s daughter. Flaunting her, even.”

“I never did anything to that man,” You huffed.

“We don’t get to choose our blood. Sadly. Just look at that snake and his lug of a brother,” Bucky chuckled as he released you. “If this place goes to shit, Loki won’t be able to keep up on that bounty.” You went rigid as he cupped your ass. “But I’ll happily buy him out.”

“And? Then Diablo’s wrath turns on you. You should just turn me in and get it over with.” You snarled.

“You’re too much fun for that,” Bucky hummed. “And Diablo owes me. It’s how I got such a good discount on the sty he sold us.” He pinched you and backed away. “Get in the tub, sweetheart, before it gets cold.”

“What are you trying to do?” You faced him as he shed his jacket, streaks of dust down the sleeves.

“You think I wanna stay in Brooklyn the rest of my life. That’s gristle. I want the whole steak.” He slung his jacket over your dress and unbuttoned his shirt. “Get in the tub. I’m not gonna tell you again.”

He cracked his knuckles and stared at you. You didn’t move and he sighed.

“You don’t want Loki to know, then you gotta convince me to keep a secret from my new partner.” He said.

You sucked your cheeks in angrily and angled yourself over the side of the tub. You lowered yourself into the water and huddled against the wall. He carried on undressing until he was entirely nude and neared. His arousal bobbed before him. You looked away and cursed your luck.

“I didn’t ask you how your shopping went,” Bucky stepped into the tub and lowered himself next to you.

He reached over to the dial and fiddled with it until the jets began to blow. He flinched in surprise and adjusted them to a soft stream. You frowned and didn’t answer. He looked over at you and slid his arm over your shoulder.

“Ah, the silent treatment. I didn’t think you had the discipline for that.” He winked.

You rolled your eyes and lifted your chin defiantly.

“Or maybe… Steve got a little handsy?” He raised his brows. “I told him not to give you too hard of a time.”

You tilted your head and scowled at him.

“Well, I didn’t exactly tell him to keep his hands to himself either,” He shrugged. “You didn’t get into any trouble, did ya?”

You slapped his chest as he drew you closed. You curled your fingers and tried to punch him straight in the face but he easily batted you away.

“You’re an asshole!”

You struggled with him as he flipped you into the water, your head plunging under as you flailed out. You choked on water as you broke the surface.

“And you’re a fiery bitch,” He retorted, “Christ, you know I wouldn’t let him do anything.”

“How could you stop him?” You struck out again and he grabbed your wrists.

“What did he do?” He asked. You shook your head and scoffed.

“Nothing,” You sniffed. “Nothing worse than you’ve already done to me.”

“I don’t think it was so bad,” Bucky mused. “But I can do better.”

He pulled you closer. You tried to free yourself as his hands left your arms and he grabbed your knees. He drew you to straddle him as you nearly fell backwards. You latched onto his shoulders to save yourself and he grinned.

You tried to wrench away from him but he was quick to wrap his arms around you. He hugged you until you were trapped against him and you felt his erection pressed against your cunt.

“Sweetheart, I can keep you up all night or you can work with me and at least get a good couple hours,” His hand came up to frame your chin. “And trust me, I will put you to sleep.”

“You’re so… gross.” You snapped.

“And you’re wet,” He said. “I can feel it.”

He rescinded his hand and reached beneath the water. He lifted you slightly as he dragged his cock along your folds. You tensed and pushed against his chest. He found your entrance and forced you down. You gasped and bit your lip.

“Jesus!” You uttered as he impaled you entirely. A jolt went through your spine.

“I told you, he’ll never be as good as me.”

“Shut up,” You smacked his thick arm and he laughed again.

He tilted his hips and your lips formed an o at the thrill it sent through you. Your own body betrayed you so easily. You turned your face away and clamped your lips shut.

“You can keep pretending,” His fingers stretched over your ass, “I kinda like it.”

He raised you and slammed you back down. The water swirled around you and you slapped him across the face. His head snapped back and he purred.

“Again,” He rocked you again and lowered your hand. “Aw, come on, sweetheart, it was just getting fun.”

You gulped down your revulsion and stared over his head. You were disgusted more with yourself than him. He moved you again, keeping a steady rhythm as his length teased your walls and your core rippled along with the bathwater. You shut your eyes as you bit down and your fingers clawed at his muscled shoulders.

“Mmm, so easy,” He hummed. “Look at you.”

“Quiet,” You hissed, focused on your rising climax.

“Choke me,” He grabbed your hands and pushed them along his shoulders. “Come on.”

“Stop--”

You bit down on your refusal and let him wrap your fingers around his neck. Your core pulsed deliciously and you just needed a little more. You squeezed without thinking and he groaned. His hands fell away from yours and he guided your hips once more. The water splashed around you as he sped you up. He slammed you down harder and harder. You lost your will as you were filled with that insatiable warmth.

Your fingers tightened as you got closer and closer. You threw your head back as you came and he kept you moving. Your hands loosened around his neck and he moaned, “More.”

You gripped him tighter as he groans grew more and more strained. He quivered as he bucked into you from below, holding your hips in place as the water churned around him. He let out a tortured grunt and you felt his heat seep into as he orgasmed violently.

He pushed his body back against the wall of the tub and slowed you. His hand brushed down your thighs and he kneaded your flesh. Your vision focused as your hands remained on his throat and you didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. You squeezed even tighter and his eyes rounded.

He latched onto your wrists as you pressed your thighs around his. You kept choking him as he forced you backwards. You swiftly wrapped your legs around his waist with him still inside of you. You could end all this right now.

You were stunned by the sudden force that cracked across your cheek. You let go of him and he shoved you back into the water. He slipped out of you and his cum leaked into the water as you reached out to keep yourself from being submerged entirely.

He grabbed you as he stood and forced you to your feet. He spun you and kept you from falling with an arm around your neck. He added pressure until you were slapping at his forearm and bicep helplessly.

“Not smart, sweetheart,” He growled. “Fiesty, but stupid.”

Your nails dug into his arm and you gulped for air as he threatened to crush your throat.

“Doesn’t feel very good, does it?” He snarled. “Now, you do that again, and I’ll cash in that bounty myself.”

He released you sharply and you stumbled and slipped down to your knees, barely catching yourself against the tub. Your arms shook as you tried to stand and he smacked the back of your head.

“Uh, uh,” He warned. “You stay like that… This night isn’t even close to over.”

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onechicagorpf · 4 years

Text

Not A Stranger - Part 2

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med intern)

Waking up in bed next to a random naked guy after a drunken night out usually sucks, but eh, whatever. you’ll never see him again, right? Well except this time, random naked guy turns out to be your ED attending’s little brother, so maybe you’re a little bit screwed…

Read Part 1 first here Read Part 3 here Read Part 4 here

Warnings: SMUT. Full-on, R-rated smut! Swearing, the usual cuss words. Dubious medical content, lol, because I don’t know a thing about medicine!

Your knuckles rap against the wooden door.

“C’mon, c’mon,” You whisper under your breath, your right leg shaking restlessly. Your heart feels like its in your throat, and you honestly feel like you’re about to pass out from either excitement or anxiety or both.

There’s soft footsteps on the other side of the door, and your back snaps straight.

Jay opens the door, a smile on his face, but his eyes quickly go wide once he sees you.

You don’t care.

You surge in, reaching out and cupping the back of his head, pulling him to you. You press your lips to his passionately, your other hand fisting his shirt. Jay’s hands land on your waist, the small of your back, and he’s almost tripping backwards by the force of you. In your head, you laugh at the fact that you’ve caught him off-guard, for the first time today.

You push forwards, moving further into the threshold of his apartment, still kissing him, but he stops. He grabs your arms and pulls away from the kiss, and you’re entirely confused.

Jay looks stunned and horrified, and you frown, opening your mouth to ask if you’ve made a mistake when you hear from further inside his apartment –

“Is that the pizza?”

You almost pass out.

Will.

Jay lets go of your arms and the two of you separate, putting a far-more-than-required distance between yourselves.

Jesus fucking Christ! The exact person I was trying to avoid! Does the universe just hate me?! What did I do to piss off God this much?! You’re screaming internally, and you kinda just want to rip your own hair out.

Will comes out of the kitchen, and you almost want to groan because he’s wearing a tee and basketball shorts and honestly, this is not how you want to see your attending. He looks fine, but you just feel like you’re seeing a version of him that you’re not close enough to meet yet, and it’s weird. Almost like this is exactly why the voices of your better angels were screaming at you to not sleep with Jay again?

Oh, and there’s also the fact that you’re really only here to blow his brother’s back out.

“Oh! Y/N?” Will’s brows are furrowed, and he freezes on the spot. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh…well,” You start, but your throat is dry and you’re not even sure what to say and you’re freaking the fuck out and –

“Actually, I invited her over.” Jay jumps in, and you turn to him, eyes wide, but trying to stay calm so you can play along. “We were chatting today at Med and she said she, um, wanted to talk to you and I thought you could…help her.” Jay says looking at Will, who turns back to you, concerned.

“Right, yes. I uh – I just, I keep thinking…about Toby Wilkerson. And his stroke. And about how I was this close to just not saying anything about his symptoms because I wasn’t sure, and he could’ve died.” You manage to get out, and my god do you feel like the worst doctor on the planet right now because the truth is you barely thought about Wilkerson since he got sent up to CT.

“Aw, that sucks. But trust me, every doctor’s been there at some point. Come on, let’s talk.” Kind Will, sweet Will, gestures to the couch and you throw your hands up, vigorously waving him off. “No, no, it’s fine I didn’t realise you guys were doing a thing and I don’t want to interrupt – ”

“Nah, don’t worry about that; we were just going to watch the Hawks game but – hey!” Will says suddenly, and you and Jay both look at him expectantly, immensely confused. “You’re a huge Hawks fan, right?”

Jay turns to you slowly, and you can see him begging you to say no, to just back out. Unfortunately, what he doesn’t know is that on your first day at Med, you came in wearing a Hawks scarf that Will pointed out, so you know there’s no way you’re getting out of this one.

“I…am, yes.” You manage to say without sighing deeply, which you very much want to do. Every second of this feels like divine punishment, perfectly crafted to suit your many transgressions in life.

“Alright, come on, let’s watch the game and then we can chat about Wilkerson during the intermissions.” Reluctantly, you and Jay make your way over to the couch and sit down. Right as the thought that this couldn’t possibly get worse passes in your head, Will obliviously plops down right between the two of you. At this point, you’re just pressing your lips against each other so that you don’t burst out laughing like a maniac at how perfectly ridiculous this all is.

Will leans forward to grab the remote and find the channel showing the Hawks game. You look over at Jay, on the other side. The younger Halstead looks back at you.

His eyes scan every inch of your body, from top to bottom, painfully slow like as if he’s mentally undressing you. Heat coils in your core and you swallow hard. Jay leans back against the couch and adjusts the crotch of his jeans subtly, but you notice. A small smile is on your lips, and you feel daring all of a sudden. Holding eye contact with Jay, you run your tongue over your bottom lip, getting it wet and glossy, before sucking it into your mouth.

“Okay!” Jay gets up suddenly, his voice loud. “I’m gonna – gonna go call the pizza guy and see where he’s at!” He goes straight to the kitchen, grabbing his phone on the way. You hold your laughter in.

“There we go,” Will says as he finds the right channel. “Hey, I’m gonna grab a cup of water, you want anything?” You ask and Will requests a beer.

Slipping into the kitchen, you see Jay’s got his back to you, and his arms are shoulder width apart, bracing the edges of the kitchen sink. His knuckles are ghost white, fingers clenching the sink like he’s trying to put a dent in it.

You line up right behind him, getting on your tip-toes so you can press a soft kiss to the back of his neck. Jay shudders, groaning, and you shush him.

“Keep it down,” You warn in a quiet whisper.

“How the fuck am I supposed to keep it down when you’re – fucking – ” Jay struggles, and you chuckle.

“When I’m what? Doing this?” You snake your right hand to the front of his body, letting your fingers softly – too softly – brush the front of his jeans. Jay bucks backwards into you involuntarily, swearing under his breath. His left hand grabs your wandering fingers and holds them as he struggles to get his breathing to settle.

“Y/N…I can’t – ” You turn him around so he’s facing you, and you can see him, see what you’re doing to him. Jay’s pupils are blown, his face is flushed, he’s sweating, and his brows are furrowed. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, and you place your hand over his sternum.

“Breathe, okay? Breathe. I want you to sit down, get through this hockey game, and once Will’s gone – ”

“Once he’s gone I’m going to fuck your brains out, you understand? Y/N, seriously,” Jay holds your chin, tilting your face up, and leans in, brushing his lips against your ear. “I’m gonna make you come all night long. You’re gonna be screaming my name, all night long. You’ll never want to fuck anyone else again after tonight. I’m going to make you mine, you hear me?” You want to nod, or say yes, but your thoughts are just so far gone you can’t. You suddenly feel Jay’s fingers pinching your right nipple through your shirt, and you can’t help letting out a throaty moan that Jay immediately stifles by sliding his thumb into your mouth. You wrap your lips around his thumb and start sucking fervently, closing your eyes but Jay grabs your jaw and pulls you off.

He’s got the dirtiest smirk on his face, after watching you so desperate for him in your mouth. “Easy babygirl, you’re the one that said we got a game to watch, yeah?” He murmurs, low. You begrudgingly nod.

The doorbell goes off, and Jay slides away from you. “I’ll get that!” He announces, and you take a deep breath, adjusting your clothes, before grabbing a beer from the fridge and heading back to the living room.

Thankfully, the one thing you haven’t lied about today is that you are genuinely a huge Hawks fan, so the game manages to keep your mind off of your…other preoccupations for the most part. It’s actually pretty fun, watching another side of Jay – the little brother who’s always ribbing at Will, who leans all the way forward when the Hawks get a powerplay, who tries to hold a whole pizza slice in his mouth so he can throw his hands in the air when they score.

The goal buzzer is going off obnoxiously, and Chelsea Dagger just starts to play. Jay grabs the pizza right before it slides out of his mouth and you just laugh. Will shakes his head. “Excuse my little brother – I promise our mother taught us manners and how to behave in front of women but he’s hit his head a lot over the years, so.” Will shrugs and Jay retaliates by punching his shoulder. “Can you please try and keep it together in front of my student and colleague, please?”

Jay rolls his eyes. “She’s not just yours.” Your eyes flash dangerously at Jay, who winks at you. Luckily, Will doesn’t spot either reaction, because he’s busy looking down at his phone that’s beeping. “She can be my friend too.” Jay adds.

“Yeah…maybe…” Will trails off, and you see his eyebrows drawn together as he stares at his phone.

“Everything good?” You ask.

Will slowly shakes his head. “Brittany Norwalk? The – ”

“- Peds vs auto that you looked at after lunch?” You interject.

“Yeah, they just tried to take her up for a thoracotomy and she couldn’t take the anesthetic so we’re going to have to go non-surgical…but apparently Lanik’s trying to get her shipped off to Lakeshore so we don’t have to keep a bed filled all night til I get back there tomorrow.” Will scoffs, and you just shake your head.

“No offense, and I know he’s your boss, but Lanik’s a complete dick.”

“Trust me, I’m with you on that.” Will replies, sighing. “So what now?” Jay asks and Will thinks about it for a moment. He turns to you. “You okay with it if we talk about Wilkerson tomorrow?”

Before you can say anything, Jay cuts in. “You’re going to Med? Now?”

Will throws his hands up in the air. “It’s the best course of action; I go down there, I can start the non-surgical procedure now, and frankly I’d rather do it myself because I’ve done it before.”

Jay’s eyes connect with you and you look away immediately. You know what he’s thinking. You also know he’s probably thinking the same thing as you – that there’s a patient whose welfare is on the line, so everything else needs to take a backseat now.

“You want me to come with?” You offer, and Will thinks about it.

“It’s fine, you should get some rest anyway. Wilkerson – ”

“Honestly Will, I feel okay already. I think I just needed to get my mind off of him somehow and – ” you gesture to the TV, where the Hawks have just scored another goal, “hockey and pizza’s done the trick.”

“And surely, the amazing company of yours truly?” Jay asks, leaning back against the couch with his hands behind his head, eyes practically twinkling. Both you and Will just stare at him, before you look at each other. “I’m scared to leave you alone with him.” Will says as he starts to grab his stuff.

“Calm down, I’ll give her back to you tomorrow in one piece.” Jay shoots back – which you highly doubt, by the way – and Will says that he better, before going into the bedroom to change.

There’s just silence, and a huge gap between you and Jay on the couch. Never having been one to be able to sit still for long, you fidget, bring your feet up onto the couch and hugging your knees. Jay doesn’t move at all, his eyes on the TV and it’s starting to unnerve you. What if he’s changed his mind?

Will comes back out, in pants and a proper shirt, and picks up his belongings before bidding his goodbyes and leaving. Once the front door closes, you turn the inside latch, locking it shut.

“So,” You start, shoving your hands in your back pockets as you stare at Jay, standing in the middle of his living room.

“So.” Jay parrots back, arms crossed over his chest. His face is neutral, and you can’t read it at all and it bugs you.

“You kinda talked a big game before.”

Jay shrugs, his green eyes fixed directly on you. “Just givin’ you an out if you’ve changed your mind. I wasn’t kidding about what I said before.” His voice is hoarse, deeper than it was before when it was you and him and Will all having fun. His eyes – they’re still, so fucking green but there’s a change. There’s something dark in them, and the thought of that only excites you.

“Make me scream your name, Jay Halstead.” You say, your voice sultry, and Jay comes undone.

He drops his arms and swiftly crosses the room to you, his hand grabbing your jaw as he crushes your lips with his. The two of you slam into a nearby wall, never separating, as you continue to kiss, stronger, deeper, more desperate. Jay expertly parts your lips with his tongue and you moan into the kiss. Running your hands down his body, you feel the lines of his abs through his thin cotton tee, and you catch the hem of it in your hands. Yanking it up, you and Jay part ways to get it off him completely.

Your eyes graze over the expanse of his body – his chest, his abs, his arms. You spot the little freckles dusted over his body, and you also spot the faint scars here and there, from a lifetime of fighting. You look up, and Jay’s watching you watch him.

Maintaining eye contact, you lean forward and start kissing his chest. Light, soft kisses, but as you travel downward, you increase the pressure of your lips on his skin, gripping his hips for support. Eventually, you’re down on your knees, your mouth right under his navel. Jay makes quick work of his jeans and you yank them down unceremoniously, along with his boxers. Jay’s thick cock bounces up, resting against his stomach. You look up from where you are, and you see Jay’s face – his furrowed brows, his open mouth – and you just smile.

You gently press your lips to the tip of his cock, adding pressure slowly. You lick the slit of his cock and Jay sucks in a sharp breath. His fingers run through your hair, still gentle but you suspect not for long.

You take his cock in your mouth, and you start bobbing up and down. With your right hand, you pump whatever your mouth can’t reach of his shaft, and quickly you get into a rhythm. You make sinful noises around his cock, your hand using whatever saliva is dripping down his cock as lube to stroke the base of his shaft. “Fuck, fuck…baby – ” Jay digs his fingers into your hair, grabbing all of it in his hand. You put your left hand over his, pushing, and he gets the message.

“Are you…sure?” Jay asks, out of breath, and you hum while your lips are still wrapped around his cock. The vibrations must have felt good, because Jay swears and involuntarily bucks into your mouth, and you can taste precum starting to leak from the head of his cock.

Jay grabs your hair, and your head, and slowly starts fucking your mouth. Thankfully, he quickly picks up the pace, and starts thrusting vigorously into your mouth. You gag on his cock, just like you wanted to, and every time his thick cock hits the back of your throat, you eyes tear up, but you fucking love it. Jay pauses when he’s fully in your mouth, letting you feel the massiveness of his cock possess what feels like the entirety of your mouth, before fully pulling out.

You gasp for air, breathing heavily, as saliva dribbles down your chin. Jay runs his thumb across your lips. “You look so good with my cock in your mouth, baby.”

“I want…I want more…” You whisper, wrapping your lips around the head of his cock once again. “I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N – FUCK!” Jay starts and you cut him off by swiftly deep-throating his cock. “Fuck fuck fuck – fuck!” Jay repeats, grabbing your hair and fucking up into your mouth. You feel him tense up, as he slams his cock in and out of your mouth, and you hear him shout, and he stops, your nose touching the base of his shaft, his cock entirely in your mouth, and you feel hot spurts of cum down your throat. When he finally releases you, his cock is red and wet, glossy all over from your saliva and his cum.

Jay lifts you up and aggressively kisses you. You grab and pull on his hair, and he retaliates by squeezing your ass hard enough that you know there’s going to be bruises tomorrow. You pull apart, and he tosses you on to the couch. He surges forward, and together you two quickly remove all of your clothing as well. He pushes you so you lay down on his couch, and Jay quickly makes himself at home between your thighs.

Keeping your legs spread with his arms, Jay starts by peppering kisses from the back of your knee to your inner thigh on one leg, before switching to the next and starting all over again. You whine, fisting his hair in your hands to try and get him to touch you where you really want him, but Jay's working his plan the way he wants to.

"God, I love the fucking sounds you make." Jay murmurs, looking up at you. Your eyelashes flutter as he softly blows at your clit, and you can hear him smirking.

"C'mon, c'mon," You beg running your fingers through his hair. Your suddenly feel the forceful pressure of a tongue against your clit, and it's so sudden and so hard that you immediately jerk, hips bucking upwards. “Oh!” You shout, and Jay grabs your hips, holds them down, and starts assaulting your clit with his mouth.

"Oh, fuck, yes, yes - please - uhhnnhh ahhh! Fuck - !" You moan, eyes squeezed shut as Jay softly sucks on your clit. You feel his fingers enter you, curling, stretching you out and you groan. With your free hand, you grab your right breast and squeeze yourself. You start getting lightheaded, and you know what's happening.

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna come..." You whisper, and Jay immediately stops what he's doing.

"No, no, no no Jay please please fuck - " You whimper, trying to grab his hair to push his face back between your legs where he's certainly an expert.

He pulls himself up, bracketing you with his arms as he's face to face with you now. Bracing himself on one arm, he uses his right hand to brush away the hair on your face. "Shhh baby, I've got you, yeah? You're mine, and I'm gonna take good care of you."

With his hand around his cock, Jay slowly rubs your opening with the head of his cock. You moan, grabbing his face with your hands, begging him to fuck you. “Say you want me,” Jay’s pupils are so dilated, and he’s breathing heavy.

“I want you, I want you so bad, please, please – ” You whine, and he leans down and presses his lips to yours, soft and gentle. Your kiss is slow, and sweet – Jay runs his tongue over your lips and you almost want to start crying because of how good everything feels. You start feeling pressure between your legs, and you grab Jay’s shoulders to try and shift yourself down to bring his cock up into you. Jay just laughs at your desperation – “I’ve got you, Y/N...easy now,” – and slides his tip into you.

You let out a loud, dragged out moan, your back arching off the couch. “You’re so fucking wet, you’re so fucking wet for me,” Jay groans, sliding his entire cock into you easily. He’s buried to the hilt inside of you, and he starts thrusting gently. So slowly, that you can feel every inch of him against your muscles, your core. You rock back against him, your pussy clenching around his cock with every thrust. “You take me…so good baby…its like your body...was made to get fucked by me,” Jay whispers into your ear, before quickening the pace, harshly slamming his cock into you with every rapid thrust. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh god – ” You whimper, your voice breaking off into a high pitched whine as you throw your head back. Your whole body is bouncing with every of Jay’s thrusts, and you know you’re so close, so close, when Jay suddenly halts his movements.

You’re going to kill him.

“You – fucking – fuck!” You breath, trying to rock yourself on his cock, trying to build up the heat in your core again, but Jay pulls out of you entirely. “Fu – Halstead!” You shout, eyes flashing but the intense look in Jay’s eyes silences you immediately.

“I’m not letting you cum until you’re screaming my name so loud all of Chicago can hear you, okay?” Jay’s voice is rough, deep and almost threatening, and you swallow hard. Eyelashes fluttering, you nod, your breasts softly bouncing as your chest rises and falls heavily. Jay grabs your arms and turns you over, so that you’re laying on your stomach. He presses his front to your back and moves your hair to the side. His lips roughly lay kisses over the back of you neck, between your shoulder blades, down your spine. You close your eyes, relaxing against his gentle movements. Eventually, his hands grip your hips and pull up, so that you’re on your knees, ass in the air, face pressed against the couch.

You feel the couch dip behind you, and you try to see what he’s doing, but you can’t, not from your angle. The suspense of it just makes everything so much more heated. You feel Jay’s left hand dig in to your left hip, and before you can even process it, you feel his cock thrust roughly into your cunt.

“Oh!” You shout, and Jay’s fingers dig into both your hips, and that’s the only warning you get before he starts pounding his thick cock into you. Obscene noises escape your mouth, and you squeeze your eyes shut as the sound of Jay’s thighs slapping against your ass resonate loudly in the room. You’re not going to be walking straight tomorrow, you know it, but it’s so fucking worth it because this feels so good, so amazing, so hot and it’s what you want and it’s what you need. Tears start spilling out of your eyes as you feel the orgasm you’ve been denied for about an hour now building again, stronger, heavier, deeper, and you start whining, whimpering, mewling.

Jay grabs your arms and lifts you a few inches off the couch, and you almost pass out because this new position gives him all the room he needs and more. Jay’s cock slams right where you need it to, and you feel like he’s fucking rearranging your guts at this point. Jay’s guttural moans are like music to your ears, and you feel your toes start curling, clenching around his thick cock.

“J – Jay, Jay, Jay! I’m coming, I’m com – JAY!” You scream, refusing to let his name part from your lips. Your vision whites out as you go over the edge, your body shuddering and twitching, and your orgasm slams into you so hard you feel like you’ve passed out. Jay slowly pulls out and gently releases your arms. He has to help flip you over because every part of you feels sorely fucked out and jelly-like.

Your eyes stay closed, and you’re drowsy, like you’ve been given every painkiller in the world. You vaguely hear Jay’s voice, and it feels like its in the distance, or as if your head is underwater.

“Hey. Hey,” Jay repeats, and you slowly open your eyes and you see him over you, watching your face with concern in his eyes. “Did I go too hard?” He’s worried, and you just slowly shake your head.

“Y/N, I – ”

You say something so soft Jay can’t make it out. “What is it, Y/N?” He leans closer. You just reach down between the two of you, and wrap your hand around his still erect cock that’s now leaking precum again.

Jay stiffens, but he grabs your hand. “It’s okay, I’m okay, let’s just make sure you’re fine – ” and he shifts to get up, but you stop him. Your eyes are wide open now, and while your head is still spinning, you’re a little more focused than you were 5 minutes ago. You send your right hand downwards, touching yourself and covering your fingers in your wetness. One of your fingers accidentally swipes against your sensitive clit and you twitch sharply, crying out, and Jay’s immediately holding you, worried.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” You murmur, and bring your slick hand up, wrapping it around Jay’s cock. Jay settles his forearms on either side of your head, bracketing you, and he presses a soft, chaste kiss to your lips. Smiling against him, you start working his cock, your hand rubbing against his stomach and yours. Jay’s so close already, so it doesn’t take too long before he starts moaning. He dips his head into your neck, swearing under his breath. “Hey, no, I want to see you Jay. Look at me now,” You say, and Jay wordlessly complies, lifting his head back up. You see how absolutely wrecked he looks – brows drawn together, sweat all over his face, and body, breathing like he’s running out of air – and you reach up with your other hand and brush your thumb against his check. “You’re so good Jay, you’re so good, you’re almost there baby,” You encourage him, and he nods. “I’m clo – close, Y/N, I’m so – I’m almost – I – uhn, fuck – I’m so close baby – ” Jay babbles softly, eyes screwed shut. You almost come again, just watching how gone he is. Jay sucks in a sharp breath when you run your thumb over his slit, and then he’s over the edge.

“Oh fuck – fuck, fuck – Y/N, Y/N!” Jay shouts, shooting hot cum over your stomach, your breasts. You press kisses to his neck, letting him settle down and regain his senses as he sags down against you. The both of you are slick with sweat, and half unconscious, so it’s a while before anyone moves or says anything. Eventually, the two of you decide you need to get in the shower, so you do.

The two of you stand under the shower water, and you run your hands over each other’s bodies, cleaning away the messes of Jay’s orgasm. Well, at least you do. Jay’s fingers keep peeling off to thumb your nipples, or squeeze your breasts, and you have to grab his fingers to stop him from being so handsy. He laughs – a cheeky, I’m-not-sorry-at-all look on his face.

“So,” You start, looking at him.

“So,” Jay repeats, his lips curving into a smile.

“You kept your promise, I’ll say. Made me scream your name, fucked me so hard and so good I think you might have ruined everyone else for me,” You say, and Jay frowns. “Might have?” You just laugh softly, as does Jay, before his face drops the smile. “Seriously, though, are you okay? I went really hard on you – I swear, I didn’t mean to – I don’t know what happened – I just saw you there under me and I just – I lost my mind and you just looked so fucking good and I wanted to – ”

“Shh – Jay, look at me.”

His green eyes connect with yours, and your hearts warms with how full of concern and worry they are.

“I can take it. When it’s from you, I can take it,” You say, and then your heart’s beating like crazy in your chest because that right there? That sounds like its more than just sex. You’re not sure what this is, you’re not even sure if you should be doing this at all – Will’s still his brother and still your attending and having sex with Jay already screws stuff up but something more than sex?

That’s just a recipe for disaster, right?

Thankfully, Jay doesn’t seem to realise that you’re starting to panic, and he just leans in, and holds your face in his hands as he kisses you softly. You relax, Jay’s lips moving against yours, with yours, in a delicate dance that has you forgetting all your worries and feeling safe and comfortable.

***

A/N: Thanks for reading! I do have ideas for a part 3, but I’ve also kinda left it so that this can be the end of this series, so I’m probably not continuing it unless y’all want me to! If you want to see part 3, please leave comments saying so! Thanks :)

#jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead smut #jay halstead #chicago pd imagine #chicago med imagine #onechicago #chicago pd smut #cpd smut #cpd imagine #onechicago imagine #will halstead imagine #will halstead

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perksofbeingaharrie · 4 years

Text

Watermelon Sugar (H.S)

@hsogolden here I submit my entry!

Thank you for bringing up this writing challenge, it’s gotten me back to writing and it’s all because of you! writing for the #FineLineFicChallenge Hope you enjoy my piece of work and come around for some more!

SUMMARY

Harry has resorted to new methods of album writing and Y/N finds out about it just recently. Her reaction and his reaction are nothing either of them expect.

Warnings: Mature content ahead. Mentions of sex and magic mushrooms ahead.

Type: Angst + Smut (bc hell yeah baby)

Word count: > 3k

Also: with this writing I do not wish to promote the usage of mushrooms or any other drug for that cause. This is meant for entertainment and reading pleasure only. Don’t do drugs kids.

----------

A strange smell emits from the door every now and then that it is opened. She stands outside, a box of sweet snacks clutched in her hands tight as she contemplates her next move. Jeff stands before her, smiling but something about his smile tells her it isn’t very sincere.

“Harry’s just so into it lately.” He utters, stuffing his hands in his pockets while releasing an awkward chuckle.

She smiles, not quite convinced either. “Of course.”

A beat of silences dispenses any conversation.

“It’s just so loud in there you can hardly talk.” He says again, this time out of the blue, looking down at his shoes.

She eyes him up and down strictly, biting her lip to stop herself from replying while nodding nervously.

He chuckles his awkward chuckle into the conversation again. “He’s hardly even visible to one’s eyes – just locked himself up in that little recording cubicle.”

She nods at him again but then decided to put down her stand too. “I – uh, think I’ll just go in, Jeff.”

“You – you want to?” He fumbles, scratching the back of his neck. The sound of him gulping a little too loud puts away all her apprehension to start a riot.

“Yes, Jefferey. Now let me in.”

Jeff has known that when she begins to call people by their full names, it’s better to let her have her away. He has known and realized this at not one but many instances in the time that he has known her for.

She gestures with her eyes for him to move aside and he does, quietly, obediently and only pinches his eyes close tight when her back faces him.

“Oh, and,” She startles him again. “I got some macaroons. Come on in if you want some.”

“Oh yeah, in a bit.” He gives his silly grin again. She sighs, deliberately towards him and turns to walk into the studio. Jeff pulls his hands out of his pocket and drops his head in them.

The recording studio is warmer than other times. The lights are dim and mellow as she walks in, and what appears to be a layer of smoke encircles the long corridor towards the door of the music room. She scrunches her nose at the smell from before, breathing loudly from her mouth as if suddenly lacking air to breathe.

She takes the trip down the long corridor, her heart taking a beat faster with every step. The uncanny silence does not help either. Her hands are sweating by the time she is standing before the door and she has to wipe them on her jeans. The smell from before has drawn to quite a prevalent waft around her, and the fact that the room is so sound proof adds up to her anxiety.

She braces herself before she pulls the handle down and opens the door.

A big smoke cloud welcomes her after which follows a loud, high pitched voice of her boyfriend.

“Jefferey!” He exclaims.

She stands at the frame of the door with the door wide open and once the dust settles down, her eyes scan the room.

First and foremost, nobody seems to be at work. The bunch of men, Harry’s precious team – Mitch, Kid, Jeff and some new faces are all gathered on the sofa and the floor, lounging lazily in their places. Secondly, if not at work, the men still seem hard at work – one of them holding up a lighter to another’s face, another one rolling what appears to be the cause of all this smell and almost all of them smoking the finely pressed and prepped joint in between their fingers.

“Baby?”

Her eyes blink once or twice before she regains consciousness from having taken in so much in so little time. Harry’s voice appears distant and she takes a while to locate him in the crowd. He is sprawled on the couch, the joint, now almost extinguished, resting between his thumb and index finger.

“What are you doing here?” He speaks again, this time clearer as he sits up straighten and everyone else follows suit.

She realizes too late how livid she must be looking. Her eyes feel dilated and wide while her lower lips hung low in shock. She feels her breathing tighten and her skin warm and all these reactions at once confuse her as to how she should react.

“I-uh, I thought you were working?” Is what she summons to speak.

“Well, this is work, my darling!” Kid Harpoon jumps to his feet and stands in front of her in an excited gleam, covering Harry from her.

Nevertheless, she sees Harry let out an angsty sigh from his mouth and pinch his joint on the ash tray a little too forcefully.

“This is just some mushrooms – magic mushrooms.” Kid holds up his joint in front of her, and its pungent smell makes her cringe and retract from him. “Works wonders to relax you and open up the creativity wind.” He is too happy as he explains her.

“Hey, Y/N.” Mitch calls out to her from his place on the floor. “It’s nothing too serious – we’re just having fun. It’s alright.” He looks over at Harry, before again at her. “You can join us if you want…?”

“Uh, no!” She says it too fast and too loudly. She clears her throat. “I mean, no, no, I just - I just came by to drop some macaroons.” She lifts the box to Kid’s chest.

“Thanks; mind putting them over there?” Harry crass voice comes from behind Kid’s build.

She feels her chest tighten at the tone of his voice. He appears to be absolutely out, sounding extremely slow and tired – almost as if tired of her. She clearly is not desired here.

Gulping, she takes a few steps back towards the table by the door. “Alright. Guess I’ll leave too. Have…fun.”

She places the box by the table and opening the door, she exits the room with a heavy heart.

“Harry, my brother, you’re in deep, deep – “She hears the voice of one of his friends from the inside but she quickly closes the door on it, rushing to leave the place.

***

It’s been an hour since Harry’s home and locked himself in his studio in the basement. She has been pacing in and out of the kitchen, checking to see her pasta cooking well while at the same time looking over to the clock to see if it is getting too late.

Finally, after relentlessly fighting with him and herself, she decides to scoop some pasta for him in a bowl and carry it down to the basement for him.

The studio down below is dimly lit with yellow lights all over, giving a very warm and artsy feel to it. She walks down the steps and pushes open the half-cracked door to watch her boyfriend standing by his laptop, back facing her, testing through the right tune to fit into the melody.

She lifts her hand towards the door and clicks her knuckles against it. She knows he has heard her but he appears no way near to putting away his instrument or turning around to face her. Irritated, she thumps the plate of pasta on the nearest table to her and walks a few steps into the room and towards him.

“What is wrong with you?” She asks in a small voice, tired, arms crossing over her chest and eyes lulling in pain.

He pays no heed.

“Harry!” She takes another step towards him. “Baby-“

“What is wrong with you?”

Suddenly all music is shut off and only his voice and words echo in the room. His turns around to face her so suddenly, and the bitter look on his face makes her flinch and lean away from him. Harry’s eyebrows are pinched together and his mouth turned down in a frown. She loses her sense for a moment and drops the stern hands that were crossed at her chest before.

He breathes through his nose audibly.

“Why are you meddling in my business?”

She is taken aback. “Harry…”

Watching him this seething and offended has her toes tingling with unease. He has been angry a lot of times in the past too – at himself, at her, at the world, but this tone and demeanor just hits different.

“Why?” His voice softens but it fails to soothe her nonetheless.

She tries to revive her voice again. “I-I just came to see you-“

“Fuck, you didn’t have to!” He raises his voice just then, enough to make her lose her cool too.

She lets out a chuckle in disbelief. “Wha- Bu- but I didn’t even say anything!”

“Well,” He begins. “You didn’t fucking have to-“

“Stop cursing-“

“-because your fucking face said it all.” He completes, surrendering breathless.

She has walked a few steps towards him and stands closer to his face, eyes boring into his blazing ones. She feels her anger pulsate throughout her body.

Watching her put up this fiercely against his harshness has his expressions soften up and as he realizes their proximity, he says in a smaller voice –

“You looked disgusted, you did.” He gulps.

She shakes her head, breaking out of her iron face act. Lifting her hands slowly from her sides, she pulls at his wrist.

Somewhere in the moment, she feels his distress. He must be embarrassed, he must feel ashamed and she sympathizes with him.

“No…” she whispers to him, moving closer. “I just didn’t know you were into stuff like this and –“

He breathes heavily through his mouth, turning his face away from her. She regrets suddenly what she said, but the regret comes with another confusion as to why would something like this offend him enough to react this way.

“- and I was just concerned, baby, please look at me.”

He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, shaking his head and looks back at her.

“No, no, no,” He clutches her arms tightly. “Can’t you see I am fine! Why are you worried about me, why are you concerned?”

“Because I love you and I care for your well-being and I wouldn’t want you to get into something that’s not good -“

“Christ!” He drops his hands to his sides with a loud sound. “This is fine what I am doing, alright? It’s not something illegal or wrong, just please, stop.”

She sighs, nostrils flaring. “Then why were you hiding it if it wasn’t something wrong!”

“Hiding? No, I wasn’t!”

“Then why was Jeffery posted outside the studio like a watch dog and not letting me in!”

His face twists in a look of absolute astonishment. “Wha- what? No...” He slaps his hands on his face. “Christ! Because Jeffery is a fucking idiot!”

She moves back from him, shaking her head. “I don’t know, Harry, I seriously don’t know anymore.”

“Fine!” He grabs his jacket from the console and moves towards her. “End of this topic. I have nothing to say to you and we’ll never speak of this again, that’s it.”

Storming out of the room, he leaves her alone muddled with her own genuine thoughts and his stubborn words.

***

She ushers over to their bedroom later that night. They haven’t spoken since the heated argument in the basement – moreover, he hasn’t bothered to leave the bedroom since then and she hasn’t summoned up to go over there.

But her father has always told her to never go to bed angry with someone, and so she can’t think about a blink of a sleep tonight.

She slips through the door to find him sleeping on the bed with his back to her side. Quietly sliding under the covers, she moves closer to his body, his back from one shoulder to another before her standing mighty like a mountain. She hesitates at first but then slowly places her chin on his shoulder, waiting for him to budge or even budge her away.

His body tenses at her single contact, but soon eases again. However, he abstains from showing any reaction in any way. This prompts her and she slides closer to his body even more now, wrapping her one arm around his torso and letting her front touch entirely against his back and hip, clinging onto him like a snail.

“Mmhmm.” She mumbles against his skin, touching her lips to his shoulder and neck in tender kisses. “Harry.”

He deems no reply.

“I think you’re stretching it a bit too much, don’t you think.” She says, lifting her head over his shoulder to look at his face.

“I am not, you are.” He says with his eyes closed and expressions flat.

She snorts, pushing her head against his back.

“I don’t get what is so great about these magic mushrooms thingy that you’re defending it like it’s your child and ignoring me, enough to make me want to cry.”

“Aah ha.” He tuts. “There. There. There comes your judgmental tone again that I do not like.”

She sighs, giving up, tired and defeated. Silence descends for a moment between them. Neither does she make a move nor does he try and look out for her. She remains static as she is, head dropped in anguish.

Harry on the other hand grows wary of the situation. He knows he is hurting her and he himself feels he has had enough of this but his own conflicts and an ego as big as the mountains demands him not to surrender. He himself admits that he can be an arrogant son of a bitch at times.

Suddenly, he feels her stir again. He gulps and anticipates what she intends to do. She runs the tip of her nose against the back of his neck in a pattern, stopping to place a kiss right at the spot where she knows he has him hard. His breathing alters in a minute as she begins tracing patterns with her lips on his shoulder, his body hardening, all ready to give in.

“Sleep with me.” She rubs his fingers along his sides, scratching his skin and threatening to go down below.

He summons his voice. “I am sleeping with you.”

His voice, so devoid of emotions, breaks her strength. He is acting, but she can hardly tell.

“No.” She mewls, snuggling her face to the back of his ear. “I want you to hold me.”

He gulps. “I don’t feel like it.”

Her mouth drops in an exasperated sigh. “That was very rude of you.”

“Well, you were rude too.”

At this point, she knows he has taking full advantage of her vulnerability. She can tell by his voice now that he is having a good laugh too.

“Harry!” She shoves at him, whining. When he doesn’t bother to turn to her and only lets out a sneaky chuckle, she breaks down.

“Okay, fine!” She says loudly. “I am sorry. Do whatever you want to do. I won’t say a word anymore. You were right. You know what’s best for you and when I am trying to have a say in anything, I am intervening, which I should not. So, I will keep shut from now. Alright?”

“Ah ha ha.” He mocks, finally sitting up and turning to her. She looks nowhere near pleased or convinced, but her pouting face has him melting.

He grabs her cheeks and pulls her to him, kissing her lips. In desperation, she moves closer, straddling him and pulls him in a for a full makeout sesh. As his hands travel down to her behind, grabbing her with his full hands and pulling her closer to him, her hands travel to the back of his neck to anchor his jaw as she works her lips on him.

He groans as she slips her tongue into his mouth, the front of his pants tightening to see her so delirious and needy for him. He relays back as she works up on his neck and jaw, her teeth grazing against his skin and making him grab onto her tighter to resist tearing apart her nightie and taking her right then and there.

Finally, with a resolve, he pulls her face to look at her again and they break into a small grin, breathless.

“You dog.” She curses, pulling him to her to stick their foreheads together as they catch their breaths.

“You’ve got to trust me, okay? I know what I am doing and I promise it won’t be anything that harms me, hm?” He tells her, rubbing his hands up and down her sides in a soothing gesture.

“Mmhmm.” She nods, distancing their faces to look him in the eyes. They smile again at each other and her fingers travel up to his face to trace along his features in patterns that he enjoys.

He chuckles, ducking to kiss between her breasts, and for his lips to carry on up till her neck to her face again.

“Do you ever want to try those mushrooms with me?” He asks in a raspy voice, peppering her jaw with his kisses.

She snorts, making a face. “No, thank you.”

Suddenly he pulls her hands away from him and hold them behind her, distancing himself to give her a grave look. She cringes, looking at him with confused shot eyebrows.

“Look at you.” He says, eyes bawling as they scan her face. “You are being rude again!”

He lets her go, falling flat behind on the bed on his back and lifting his arms to cover over his eyes.

She takes a moment to process everything and when she does, her head falls back in a loud groan.

“God, Harry…aah!” Her groans end in squeals when he pulls her back on top of him again, laughing at her reaction.

***

It’s ‘bring in your partners to work’ day today at the studio so the tiny space is filled with more people, talking loudly and drinking from cups as they listen and watch the musicians get to work.

The working men are gathered at one corner, and the other corner all their better halves chat about and watch them at work. Y/N is squeezed between Glenne and Meredith, the happy girl group giggling at their silly talks and pulling pranks at their beaus.

As she finishes her second cup for the evening and makes her way to pour some more, Y/N is crossed by someone carrying a box of wrapped joints in them. She suddenly chokes up on her breath and quickly gives him the way to walk through. With a lighter pace, she reaches the drinks table and turns around to see the culprit – Kid Harpoon, distributing the joints amongst everyone.

All of them throw their heads back and laugh as they accept the joints, lighting it easily with their own lighters in hand. She doesn’t remember pouring herself what drink, but as she slowly gulps it while watching the scene before her, she suddenly chokes up from the bitterness and coughs, drawing attention to herself.

All eyes turn up to her. She smiles timidly, catching Harry’s apprehensive lip bite in her direction, and slowly walks over to where she was standing before. But it is an even bigger disaster up there.

Glenne brings up her part of the joint and takes a long drag, releasing and bursting into a chuckle along with which she pulls Jeffery to her and kisses him. When they are through with their moment, she cheekily turns towards Y/N and pushes the joint towards her.

“You wanna try? It’s relaxing.”

Y/N eyes look up and down from her friend to the joint offered to her. She only begins to stutter a reply when another encouragement comes from somebody else. And then another and another and she is left a mess between all the coaxing.

“Don’t.” Harry’s voice sounds louder amongst all of this chatter. “Don’t force her if she doesn’t want to.”

She looks up to him in anticipation of a consoling look, but he barely turns his eyes up at her, and with a resigning sigh, he returns to the control panel he was firmly stuck to since the beginning.

She gulps, biting on her lips hard.

“Actually,” she suddenly finds her voice the loudest in the room. “I think I’d like to try.”

Everybody in the room hoots in encouragement. She chuckles at Meredith as she feels her hand pat her lower back and gives a shaky smile to Glenne who passes her the joint.

“Darling, darling, darling.” Kid jumps up before her. “You are very brave but still don’t feel coaxed into it. Know that none of us are responsible to what you do after the first drag.”

Everybody in the room laughs, and so does she, heartily.

“Let me help you with it.” Kid maneuvers her around as to how to take her first, going step by step with a side by side demonstration.

She hasn’t looked up meet Harry’s eyes, who now stands right before her as she is about to take her first joint in her mouth. She closes her eyes and follows about as Kid had directed her to: suck in the smoke through your mouth and let it travel down your neck and pinch around your throat; feel the coolness of it, then slowly let it release from your mouth; feel the burn in your chest and leisure in the kick that is felt to your brain and just release all the smoke out.

She opens her eyes and feels like in a different dimension. Her eyes first meet Harry’s, who is standing before her in awe of her first reaction. She looks magnificent – raw and red, shining and golden in glee, her eyes and body loose like overcoming the euphoria of a hearty orgasm. He knows the look; it’s even more dangerous than her sensuous one because she looks so vulnerable and oblivious and that makes him lose control.

“Good?” She feels the buzzing of someone’s voice in her ear. She nods, giggling like a child.

With her eyes still trained on Harry, she takes another drag and melts in the ecstasy of the mushrooms, taking Harry into the state with her.

All her friends hoot again and the joint is taken from her hands. She feels a pat on her head and laughs at everyone’s reaction, and in a moment that she takes her eyes off of Harry, she loses sight of him.

“I’ll be back in a sec.”

She jumps out of everyone’s grab and makes her way onward in search of Harry. Luckily, she didn’t need to go far as she finds him in the balcony, leaning by the railing with a drink in his hand and looking towards her as if in wait of her.

She grins, jumping towards him. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her to him, smiling back at her upturned face.

“Why’d you do that?” He asks.

She touches their nose together, whispering to his face. “Because I wanted to.”

Their noses slide against one another, mouths breathing over one another.

“Won’t you ask me how it was?”

He shakes his head at her question. “I could see it.”

“See how it felt?” She asks in a childlike amusement. He nods, chuckling.

She slides her face further towards his, slipping past his sleek cheekbones to his ears.

“I want to do those mushrooms with you, Harry.” She admits in a small voice.

He pulls her even closer to him and buries his face in the smell of her hair, nodding slowly.

“I think it’s time for that.”

In a split, he has pulled her away from the crowd and noise of the studio. He takes along and lighter and a joint on the way and locks the two of them in the small bathroom situated at the back of the studio.

She slides into the space and sticks her bottom to the edge of the sink slab, pulling Harry towards her. Their lips melt in a long kiss, her hands falling back to anchor her weight against the granite slab. He pulls away for a moment to pull out the joint and lighter, placing them in his hands before her. His lips meet hers in pecks, kissing along her cheeks and the trail down to her neck, before meeting her eyes again and grinning giddily.

“Watch me.”

He takes the joint in his mouth, bringing the lit lighter to the end of its length. The joint catches fire immediately and he discards the lighter behind her, puffing the joint in between his lips.

She watches in awe as he takes in a lazy drag, pulling out to breath out the smoke above their heads. Her hands find their way up to his chest as he takes another smoke, watching him with concentration when he releases his breath against her face.

The effect has her gasping and him chuckling at her reaction.

He hands her over the joint next, leaning his lower body to hers even more and supporting his waist by his hands on the counter behind her. She takes the joint, looking him in the eye with a glint in hers and takes a long drag.

When she breathes out, she does it too fast and for long and ends up in a coughing mess. He laughs, patting her head and taking the joint from her again.

He points her to look at him and breathes in the joint. Then, he taps her mouth to open and she does, allowing him to breath the smoke out in her mouth. The slight touch of their lips and the smoke has her skin tingling and she throws her head back in pleasure.

He takes the moment and peppers her exposed neck with his lips, sliding his tongue along the length and scooping her skin at the base with his mouth. She groans, grabbing his hair with one hand and using her other hand to snatch the joint.

She takes one drag and releases, pushing her lower hips to his and grinding her groin to his. They are a moaning mess by then.

He looks up at her face as she takes another smoke, breathing out in his face with finesse. Their lips meet again, senses now all lull and detached as they meet in a sloppy kiss.

“Your mouth tastes so good.” He says in between the kiss. She moans a reply, the joint falling right off of her hand as they go up to wrap around his shoulder.

He grabs her hips, pushing her against the sink slab and on top of it, spreading her legs enough to stand in between them. He grabs the back of her head and pulls her to kiss him again, sliding his other hand down to the zipper of her jeans.

She slips right off the sink as his palms slides into her panties, fingers finding her wet core with ease. His rubbing and touching rubs off her patience bad as she pushes herself further towards him, grinding against his fingers. Before she can fathom what is next for her, he sinks to his knees before her, undoing her jeans and sliding her panties down her legs. He spreads her legs again, guiding her to anchor against the edge of the sink and dips his head in between her thighs.

Her head is thrown back at the feel of his tongue against her throbbing core. She jitters as his tongue works its way on her, her one hand grabbing onto his hair and the other slipping in between her teeth. She feels her orgasm approach already, the high facilitating the mind-blowing climax that awaits her.

But he pulls away then, standing to his feet and undoing his own jeans. She groans and pulls him to her, kissing his mouth in anticipation.

“Sweet. Like strawbe-rries and other be-rries and wa-termelons and…” he slurs in between the kiss, making her laugh.

She pushes her finger against his mouth and shushes him. “Shh…just fuck me, please.”

“Mmhmm.” He groans against her mouth, eyes half shut. “Feel me in your belly, hmm?”

In a moment, he enters her with a painful thrust. She is thrown back against the sink, her arms coming to wrap around his neck in support. He moans from the throbbing of her core against his skin, encouraging to feel all the way till the bottom. He grinds in a slow rhythm, making every stroke count as she is pushed into her earnest climax in the most pleasurable manner.

The sun rises. She blooms and shudders like a flower under him. Her core drips from the remnants of his touch but he doesn’t stop.

“I love you.”

She feels like a cozy summer evening. She feels like a high he never thought he’d get. And the night goes on and on and on.

#FineLineFicChallenge #harry styles imagine #writing challenge #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry #styles #smut #angst

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kpop---scenarios · 4 years

Text

Temptations

Commissioned by: @blueblondewonhoishot

Warning: Smut, Angst

Word Count: 11.2k

Everyone wants to fall in love, but sometimes love isn't enough to keep you together, and sometimes someone tries to break you apart.

As the youngest child in your family, you were always the last one to find out anything, especially if it had anything to do with the family business that your grandfather worked so hard to build.

Being the youngest of 3 had its perks, but honestly there were more disadvantages than anything, considering you were the only girl as you had two older brothers. It was clear since you could remember your father and grandfather groomed your brothers to become the perfect workers, and perfect people to take over the company when they passed. No one ever considered you, because with you being a girl, you were supposed to just get married and have children while being a stay at home mom.

You weren't here for that life. It had taken you a while of begging for your father to even consider allowing you to work an entry level position in the company at the age of 20, but you were strong willed and determined to prove you had just as much potential and capability to run the company as good, if not better than your brothers.

When you turned 25, you were made a financial advisor, and you'd finally earned a slight nod of approval from your father. It was the most acknowledgment at work you had gotten from him that wasn't really work related. Today was the best birthday you had, and now nothing was going to get in your way now.

"Lee Hoseok, graduated top of your class at SNU, majoring in Finance." Mr. Park murmurs.

"Yes sir." Hoseok nods, holding his head up high. He needed this job, Christ did he need this job. His bills were piling up, his grandmother's hospital bills. She had told him not to worry and that she was handling it while he was in school but now it was just found out she hadn't been handling it. Hoseok's parents weren't around any longer, having taken off when he was younger, so he had no one. His grandma was all that he had, and he would do whatever he needed to do to take care of her.

"We'll give you a shot. Come back tomorrow, 8am, 6th floor. Ask for Kim Y/N, She'll take care of you." Mr Park says, abruptly leaving Hoseok sitting there, his nerves finally melting away.

The next day, you excitedly entered the large building of Jangu. Co. You grew up but for the first time it was your first day now as a financial advisor. No more slumming it on the 3rd floor with the Analyst's for you, no, you were now hitting the big leagues on the 6th floor and you couldn't be more excited.

"Good morning Y/N." The 6th floor secretary, and one of your best friends, Minsu smiles.

"Ah, yes it is." You reply with a giant smile of your own.

"Wait." She calls after you. Minsu grabs your wrist, pulling you around the corner before leaning in closely to you. "You're showing someone around today." She whispers, peaking around to make sure no one hears her.

"What?" You ask, not quite understanding why anyone would choose you, considering this was your first day as well.

"I don't know specifics, but just that you have to show him around until the advisors meeting at 10am." She finishes shrugging her shoulders before whispering bye as the phones begin to ring.

You shake off Minsu's words as you walk towards your new office.

"Oh Y/N!" You hear Minsu again from down the hall. Christ, you just want to make it to your office. Turning around you place a fake smile over your face until you notice she's not alone. Trailing along closely behind her, an extremely well built, handsome man in a tight fitted suit.

Uncontrollably, you let out a small breathy moan as you attempt to subtly look him up and down.

"Jesus christ." You whisper to yourself, adjusting your slightly unbuttoned top.

"This is Park Y/N." Minsu says, bowing to the man before winking at you and taking off.

"Hello, I'm Lee Hoseok. I was told to find you this morning. " he says. His arms made your pussy throb, and now his voice makes it throb and drip.

You clear your throat, trying to not make a fool out of yourself. "Yes, that is right. Please head to my office and I will be there in a few minutes." You say in your most professional voice.

You sounded like an idiot.

"Where's your office?" He asks.

Fuck. You didn't even know where it was.

"Um." You pause. "I'll show you." You tell him, turning down the hall, praying that this was the right way. You look closely at each door, trying to find your name while this man follows you, likely thinking you're a giant fucking idiot.

"Ms. Kim?" He questions.

"Yes?" You ask, turning around.

"Isn't this your office? Kim Y/N?" He asks, pointing to a door half way down the hall from where you currently stood.

"Oh uh yes, good eye." You say, walking back to him. "It was, uh, test." You murmur opening the door, sneaking by him to see Mr. Park, while trying not to be too embarrassed.

What was wrong with you? You've never been affected by a man like that before, and suddenly you become a giant mess? Get it together.

Hoseok couldn't help but laugh at how flustered you got. Honestly, he thought you were adorable, the way you furrowed your eyebrows, the way your cheeks became red when you were flustered and embarrassed. He enjoyed noticing these types of things about women, more specifically women he found attractive. And did he ever find you attractive. He knew he couldn't never act on anything, he needed this job more than anything and he wasn't about to lose it because of anything. He needed to stay focused and do what he was there to do.

Hoseok wanders into your office, wondering where you snuck off too and when you were coming back. He wanted to get straight to work but wasn't entirely sure where he was supposed to go, so he awkwardly sat in one of your chairs, and waited for your return.

"Mr. Park." You say, walking to his desk. Mr. Park was your father's very trusted secretary, and puppet. He did the dirty work your father didn't want to do, sometimes he wanted to keep his hands clean but Park had zero issues carrying out your father's orders. Honestly he terrified you a bit, but you refused to show it.

"Ms. Kim. What can I do for you?" He asks, his expression lifeless and cold, as usual.

"The new guy? What am I supposed to do with him?" You ask, crossing your arms. "This is not how I expected to spend my first day as a financial advisor."

"Ah yes, Mr. Lee. There's a staff meeting in 10 minutes, please bring him there and I will direct him from there." Mr. Park tells you, looking down to continue his work.

As you head back to your office, you think about what it would be like to have an office romance. You wondered if he would want to keep it a secret or declare his feelings for you in front of everyone?

No, stop it. You can't get involved with anyone, you're working your way up the corporate ladder, you can't date anyone, let alone a coworker.

"You." You say, standing at the door of your office. "Let's go." You finish turning to walk back down the hall. Hoseok quickly stands up, following behind you, but not too close.

You enter the board room with Hoseok trailing behind you. Picking a seat, he decides to pick the one directly beside you. Your face heats up again.

"Let's get this done quickly people, there's work to do." Mr. Park says, placing his papers on the table. "We have a new hire, Lee Hoseok." He says, gesturing towards him. "Everyone take care of him. He is our newest financial advisor, who will be working with Ms. Kim for the next few weeks as she shows him the ropes and how to handle the clients." He announces.

Your eyes almost pop out of your head. Are you working with him for the next few weeks? Closely? You wouldn't. You couldn't, you actually physically couldn't because you might do something you'd regret. Your attraction to him was very real, and the fact that you might do something was a very real possibility. Usually when you wanted something, you got it and as much as you tried to deny it, you wanted him. You knew you needed to keep your distance, as much as you could.

"That concludes the meeting, have a productive day." Mr. Park says before abruptly leaving the room.

"Well, shall we partner?" Hoseok smiles. You just about melt.

"Y-Yes." You mumble, standing up quickly to walk out of the room.

"Let's head to my office, you can show me how to set up my things." He smiles, moving to walk in front of you.

Unfortunately for you, his office happens to be just a few doors down from yours, and you have a perfect view of his desk, you can see your desk from his.

"Okay, so this is the client list. You can take this half, I'll keep this half." You say, deleting your half so he's not confused. "Your email is here, your phone number here, clients info is in this folder here." You say, showing him everything on his computer.

"And this.." you begin before being interrupted by Hoseok's phone loudly ringing. He quickly declines the call, placing it back in his pocket before he pays attention again. He leans over you in the chair, pointing to something on the screen. Though as he leans, his hard chest lands on your shoulder, sending a shock through your body and slight wetness to your panties.

He was about to say something to you, when his phone began ringing again. Once again, he declined the call but almost immediately it rang again.

"You should probably get that if it's going to keep ringing." You say, standing up from his desk.

"I apologize, Ms. Kim." He says, before answering the phone.

"Hello?" He whispers as you walk out of the room, back to your office.

"Ms. Kim!" You hear a voice before your very best friend saunters into your office with a mischievous smirk on her face.

"How may I help you, Chae?" You ask with a small laugh.

"New hottie. What's his deal?" She asks, sitting on your desk. "He is a goddamn snack!" She yells loud enough for surely the entire floor to hear. "Give me all the info."

"I don't know anything. I'm a professional." You say, pulling your jacket down.

"Professional my ass." She snorts. "Speaking of asses, did you see his ass? It's like a double layer cake, that I would love to eat, lord." She groans, mimicking a biting motion.

You can't help but laugh because she was absolutely right. The ass on him made you slightly jealous, but also made you hot. He was definitely one hot piece of ass. Seconds later, there's a knock on your door frame, and there stands Hoseok. You and Chae's laughing comes to a quick stop as you stare at him, trying to figure out if he heard or not.

"Ladies." He smirks.

He definitely heard.

"Would you like to join me for lunch?" He asks, cocking his head to the side.

Fuck.

"I think we're.." you begin to say before Chae so rudely interrupts you.

"We would love to. Let's go!" She says, hopping off the desk and shakes his hand while being extra flirty.

"Okay.." you finish, muttering it to yourself. "Let's go I guess."

As the three of you sit at a table and wait for your food, Chae begins to ask Hoseok a list of questions. She starts off easy as usual and then she will begin the tougher, more intimate questions.

"Where were you born?" She asks.

"Busan." He answers.

"Nickname?"

"Wonho."

"Family?"

"Mom, dad, and two older sisters." He smiles.

"Interesting. Y/N has two older brothers." She says, nudging your arm.

"Girlfriend?" She asks.

Hoseok looks uncomfortable, but lucky for him, the food arrives, saving him from having to answer her question.

The table goes quiet as you all enjoy your food. Hoseok adjusts his legs under the table, accidentally brushing his knee against yours. Your head shoots up to look at him, only to already be met by his eyes, locked on your face. He smirks before winking at you and then continuing to eat his food.

You feel like your heart might actually beat out of your chest. Your face gets flushed again as the memory of what he just did plays over and over in your head, making you blush a little harder each time you think about it.

"Right, Y/N?" You hear Chae say, bringing you out of your daze.

"What?" You say, coming back to the real world.

"It's customary to take new hires out for celebratory drinks on the Friday of their first week." She winks at you. Clearly Hoseok had seen it, because he began to chuckle.

"Yes, yep, it's tradition." You shrug with a smile.

"Okay, I'm in." He laughs, taking another bite of his food.

You couldn't wait for Friday.

That night you went home and did whatever you could to try to erase the thought of Hoseok from your mind. You didn't need this kind of distraction, or temptation if you would. But no matter what you did, your brain wouldn't let him leave.

As you doze off to sleep, your brain decides what better way to get rid of him than to have a sex dream about him.

You're standing inside the supply closet, the door propped open behind you. You're looking for paper for your printer, when you feel a body pressed up against you, and something hard in your backside.

"You've been such a tease today." Wonho grunts, wrapping his arm around you, grabbing tightly to your shirt with both hands before ripping it open, buttons flying everywhere.

Your breath hitches as he cups your breasts, grinding his cock into your ass.

"Naughty girls need to be pushed." He spits, pulling your skirt over your ass before undoing his belt to pull down his pants.

"You ready baby?" He grunts, coating his cock in some spit, pumping himself before lining himself up with your entrance.

Your hands reach up, grabbing whatever shelf you could as Hoseok rams his cock into your pussy, not letting you adjust to his size. He continuously pulls himself out before pushing back in, stretching out your walks.

"Won't tease me again, will you?" He grunts.

"If this is my punishment, I definitely will." You breathe, as Hoseok's large hand wraps around your neck, squeezing tightly.

"I want you to cum all over my cock." He growls.

Beep

Unfortunately for you, the second before you came, you were woken up by the sound of your lovely alarm clock.

You never did finish that dream.

As the week went on, you found yourself staring across the hall at Hoseok, daydreaming about what it would be like to hear him moan. How big his cock was, if he was any good at eating pussy. More than once he caught you staring, and only smiled in response.

Everytime the two of you were in the same room, you swore you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. If you had it your way, you'd happily have him swipe everything off yours or his desk and fuck you senseless in the office, but unfortunately for you fucking your coworker during working hours was against company policy, you were sure.

When Friday finally rolled around, and you were all done work, you were sitting at a table with your coworkers surrounding you, while you each had a shot and a drink in front of you, as you all laughed at some lame joke someone made. You loved that you got along so well with everyone, but you were having a hard time concentrating while Hoseok sat beside you, especially since every time he moved, his leg brushed against yours. When he would adjust his pants, his finger would lightly graze along your bare thigh. You made sure to wear a short, yet work appropriate skirt that day.

Your breath hitches as the last graze lasted a few minutes longer than the others.

"I'll be back. Bathroom break." You breathed to everyone at the table, needing to get yourself together.

You stood with your hands on the sink as you took a few deep breaths, giving yourself a small pep talk in the bathroom mirror. "You've got this. He is your coworker, that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Get ahold of yourself, Y/N." You growl to yourself.

Taking one more breath, you pull the door open, only to be met with a pair of strong hands on your shoulders, pushing you into the wall. You look up to see a dark eyes Hoseok, breathing heavily.

"What are you doing to me?" He pants in your ear, pressing his body against yours. "I can't control myself around you." He groans.

"Then don't." You whisper.

Hoseok leans in closer to you, his luscious lips almost pressed against yours.

"I can't." He breathes, smacking his hand against the wall beside you, frustrated. "I'm sorry." He finishes before walking away.

You stand against the wall for a few seconds, trying to figure out what just happened and why he left. You shake your head as you walk back to the table, noticing Hoseok wasn't there.

"Where'd he go?" You ask Chae.

"He took off. Something about having to be up early." She shrugs.

You wondered if maybe you had done something wrong? Maybe telling him to let go around you freaked him out? Maybe he had a girlfriend? All the possibilities ran through your head all weekend as you went over every detail, trying to figure out where it went wrong.

The weekend came and gone, as quickly as it began. You laid in your bed Sunday night, wondering what Monday was going to look like. Would it be awkward or uncomfortable? Would he ignore you? Maybe act like nothing happened, although would it really be acting considering nothing truly did happen.

You fell asleep that night worried about what the next day would bring.

All morning Hoseok's office door had been closed, and he never left, giving you zero chance of speaking with him. You could just go and knock on his door, but you didn't want to disturb him or make the situation worse, so you left it alone.

You didn't see him Tuesday either.

Wednesday afternoon, you were lucky enough to be awarded a lovely visit from Mr. Park.

"Ms. Kim, you're going to be heading the Jung case with Mr. Lee. Do a good job on this. You'll be presenting to Mr. Jung and the board on Friday." He says, leaving without giving you a chance to ask any questions, like did you have to work with Hoseok? You didn't do well in awkward situations.

Taking a deep breath, you stand up from your chair to make your way to Hoseok's office. You try to shake your nerves off while you stand right outside his door. You knock three times, gently, trying to not seem too eager.

"Oh." He says. "I wasn't expecting to see you." He admits.

"Yes well here I am." You laugh. "Mr. Park has put us on the Jung case." You tell him.

"I'm on that case? He's one of the biggest clients. The commission is huge?" He says, his eyes wide.

"I know. We have until Friday and then we have to present to the board." You tell him.

"That's barely 2 days." He says, worried.

"I know. So we better get started." You tell him.

Friday came quickly, and so did the slot for your presentation. Hoseok had assured you that the two of you did an outstanding job and everyone would love it. You just hoped he was right.

"..and that concludes our proposal for Mr. Jung." You say, finishing off the presentation that you and Hoseok had worked so hard to complete.

As it turns out, your hard work seemed to have paid off, because Mr. Jung was thoroughly impressed with what you and Hoseok had come up with for him regarding his finances and agreed to go with the plan.

"Celebrate?" You asked Hoseok. He happily nodded his head and the two of you set out to your favorite spot for dinner and a drink.

One drink happened to turn into two, and then three, and continued to where the two of you were currently on your fourth drink, having finished your dinner hours ago the two of you were already slightly drunk.

"I have a confession." He says. "I like you. I've liked you since I first saw you." He says, finishing his drink before putting his hand up for another one.

You smile as you down the rest of your drink, going to admit the same thing to him. "I like you too." You whisper.

"Then what are we doing? Two people who like each other should be together!" He slurs.

"I agree Hoseok." You giggle.

"Call me Wonho." He smirks. "Can I take you home with me tonight?" He asks.

"Please take me home." You say. He puts out his hand for you to grab. Happily you take it, after hell places some bills on the table to cover the evening.

You're both silent in the cab back to his apartment, not touching each other. Wonho slowly guides his hand over the seat, sliding it over your hand. He curls his fingers, holding your hand before pulling you towards him.

Wonho leans in, going to press his lips to yours, but before he can, the cab driver pulls to the side, telling you that you were now at your destination.

Nervously, you get out of the cab, standing on the sidewalk as you wait for Wonho to finish paying. Once he does, he grabs your hand, leading you inside and to the elevator. The doors open, and Wonho pulls you in, you two being the only ones riding the elevator up.

Wonho turns to face you, walking towards you, making you back up until you hit the wall. "I've wanted to do this for so long." He growls leaning his head in close to yours, finally allowing his plump lips to press against yours. Within seconds, he slips his tongue into your mouth, both of you eagerly needing each other. Wonho bends down slightly, placing his large hands behind your thighs, signaling you to jump. You happily comply as you wrap your legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss.

The elevator doors open, you're on his floor but he doesn't set you down. Instead, he carries you to his apartment, unlocking his door and heading inside with you still wrapped around him. He makes it to the kitchen before he places you on the counter, standing in between your legs.

Wonho stands back from you, appreciating you before beginning to unbutton your shirt. Wonho never breaks eye contact as he unbuttoned the last one, sliding your shirt over your shoulders and down your arms, leaving you in your bra. He slides his hands around your back, unhooking your bra before discarding it on the kitchen floor.

He smiles as he leans his head down, cupping your breast, lifting it up to gently place a nipple in his mouth, sucking harshly.

"God." You moan, throwing your head back.

You raise your hands, running your fingers through his soft hair. You slowly push him away from you, sliding yourself off the counter, allowing your tits to bounce slightly before you get onto your knees.

You lick your lips as you unbuckle Wonho's belt, and unbutton his pants, shimmying them down his legs, along with his boxers.

"Ooh." you squeal as his cock springs free, pre cum dripping from his red tip. You tilt your head up, looking him in the eye as you lick the cum from his cock before placing it in your mouth, sucking a few times before taking in as much as him as you can.

"Shit baby." he groans, throwing his head back.

Pulling him almost out of your mouth, Wonho thrusts his hips forward, shoving his cock down your throat, causing you to choke a little.

"Fuck." he moans, letting you swallow his cock a few more times before pulling himself from your warm mouth, and standing you up. He bends you flat over the counter before spreading your legs wide. He drags your skirt and your pants down, over your ass and down to the floor.

Wonho gently sticks his fingers inside your pussy, pumping them in and out before reaching up a little more to rub your clit.

"Oh my god." You cry out, your legs shaking as he hits the perfect spot, each time.

"I'm going to fuck you." He groans, pulling his hand away from your clit.

You stand up and turn around, placing your hands on his shoulders to bring him down to the floor. Wonho lays down on the kitchen floor as you step over him before bending down and lining his cock. You line yourself up with him, slowly sinking down on his cock as he spreads your pussy, stretching you out.

"Fuck." you both cry out. You slowly start rocking your hips back and forth, making sure to rub your clit on his pubic bone as you ride him.

With a smile on your face, you adjust yourself, placing your feet on the floor, you begin bouncing on his cock, making him moan louder.

"Holy shit." he cries out.

You lean yourself back, placing your hands on his legs as you continue to bounce yourself on his cock. He reaches his hand up, rubbing your clit with two fingers.

It doesn't take long for you to cum all over his cock, your eyes rolling back into your head.

Wonho groans at the sight of you, removing his hand from your clit and pinching your nipple instead.

Minutes later, Wonho cums, spilling it all inside of you. As you take yourself off of him, his cum seeps down your leg as he shows you to the bathroom. You both clean yourselves up quick before collapsing in his bed, falling asleep instantly.

The next morning you woke up, Wonho's muscular arm draped over your body. You bite your lip and smile at the memory of what happened between the two of you last night. Although you were both drunk, you remembered it all and it couldn't have been better.

"Good morning, beautiful." Wonho mumbles, his eyes still closed as he nuzzles his head into your neck.

"Good morning." You respond, rolling over and wrapping your arm around him.

"Breakfast?" He asks, his voice muffled.

"What would you like?" You ask.

"Let's make breakfast together." He suggests.

Your heart flutters.

"Okay. Let's do it." You smile.

That morning, you and Wonho spent your time together making a large breakfast, that the two of you could barely eat. Eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, toast, pancakes. It was a meal that could feed an army, but the two of you had so much fun making it together. There were plenty of kisses shared between the two of you, along with your favorite back hugs. You could feel yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him with every second that you spent with him, and now you'd finally decided to stop fighting it and just let yourself be happy.

You and Wonho spent the entire day together. You watched movies, talked for hours, learning all about eachother. You even told him about your father and who he was. You had thought he would have been mad or uncomfortable with the thought of dating his boss's daughter, but to your surprise he was okay. You both agreed to leave your relationship out of the office, strictly professional.

"Relationship?" You giggled. "What, are we dating now?" You laughed. It was Sunday afternoon and the two of you had spent the entire weekend together.

"We are. That is if you would take me as your boyfriend?" Wonho smiles.

"Of course." You laugh.

He laughs as he cups your face, leaning down to gently place a kiss on your lips.

You couldn't believe he was yours, and this was your life.

You were in complete bliss, for a while until everything began crumbling before you.

The first few weeks of your relationship with Wonho was amazing, you kept it professional at work and passionate outside of work. Things were just working out perfectly for you both, until a rumor started going around the office about the two of you. There was only one person you knew who was into office gossip, and she just happened to be your best friend.

"Chae." You start, standing by her in the break room.

"Oh hey! Is it true?" She asks with a smile, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Did you start it?" You ask.

"Start what?" She says.

"The rumor."

In a split second she began looking uncomfortable. As much of a gossip as she was, she was a terrible liar and a dead giveaway.

"I'm sorry! I saw you guys out for dinner, and I told Minsu but told her not to tell anyone!" She exclaims. "But she did and then it just spread." She finishes, looking apologetic but at the moment you didn't care. No one needed to know about your personal life and you thought it was pretty shitty of her to say anything in the first place instead of coming to talk to you.

"I really am sorry.." she whispers.

"Yeah, so am I." You mumble, leaving the room and heading to Wonho's office.

"There's a rumor about us." You pout as you close his door.

"I know." He smiles.

"Everyone knows." You say.

"I know that too." He laughs, looking back at his work.

"What are we going to do?" You ask, slumping down in the chair.

"What do you mean? Who cares if everyone knows? I love you. I want the world to know that I'm with the most amazing, sexy, smartest, funniest woman, and she's all mine." He smirks. "I want all the guys to be jealous you're mine, and all the women jealous I'm yours baby."

Out of all of that, there were only 3 words that you heard.

"I love you."

"You love me?" You whisper. Wonho freezes and looks at you a little shocked. He really didn't think you would have caught that. Was it too early? You had only known each other for a few weeks but he had never felt like this about any woman before. He knew you were the one the moment he set his eyes on you, the one he was going to marry, the one he was going to have children with, the one he was going to grow old and grey with. Watching your children get married, have their own children. He could picture it all with you by his side.

"I do love you." He says confidently.

"I love you too." You whisper, smiling while you lean in for a kiss, squishing his cheeks together with your hands.

If this is what love felt like, you never wanted it to end.

"It seems as though Mr. Lee and Y/N are in a relationship, sir." Mr. Park tells your father, CEO Kim.

"Mhm. I see." Your father says, sitting behind his desk contemplating his next move. "Keep an eye on him. Report back to me asap." He finishes.

Mr. Park bows at your father before heading off to keep an eye on Hoseok. He knew your father wanted something on him, and whatever he wanted Mr. Park would do.

"I've got to get back to work. I'll see you later?" You ask, lingering by the door of Wonho's office.

"Yes. Let's go for dinner?" He asks.

"Absolutely." You smile, walking from his office back to your own.

Once Wonho was alone, he picks up his cell phone, dialing a number but first checking to make sure you were out of ear shot.

"Hi." He speaks into the phone. "Yeah of course I'll see you tonight. I've just got something to do first and then I'll be over there." He says. "Yes I know. I'll bring it don't worry. I love you too." He finishes, hanging up the phone. Wonho begins typing on his computer, not noticing the man who heard everything walking away from his office, and directly to the office of CEO Kim.

"It seems as though he might have someone else, sir." Mr. Park says. "I overheard him on the phone."

"Look into his background. Dig up whatever you can." CEO Kim tells him.

"Yes sir."

Over the next few days, Wonho becomes a little distant and closed off, not speaking to you much, constantly on his phone and distracted. Everytime you tried to speak with him, he either had to run off on an errand, had a meeting or had to take a call. You had barely seen him, and hadn't slept in his bed with him in a week.

You were confused. Had you done something to piss him off? Was he in some sort of trouble?

The next day, you'd finally caught a glimpse of him sitting in his office, typing. No phone call, no meeting, nothing. You walked over there determined for answers. You push the door closed before sitting down in the chair across from his desk.

"What's going on?" You ask bluntly. "You've been ignoring me and very secretive. Did I do something?" You ask.

"What?" He asks, confused. "No you haven't done anything. I've just been dealing with some stuff baby, but it's done now." He smiles.

"It is? Are you sure?" You ask to clarify.

"Absolutely. I love you, I would tell you if something was bothering me." He laughs. He turns away from you as his work phone rings loudly.

"Hello? Okay. Okay. Be right there." He says before hanging up. "Okay baby, I have a meeting. Dinner tonight? I'll meet you at Rizo's." He smiles, placing a kiss on your head before taking off.

You couldn't wait to spend some time with him tonight, hopefully either stay at his apartment or have him come over to yours, since it was the weekend. Either one would work, as long as you were with him.

5:30pm rolled around, and you left work in a happy mood and headed to the restaurant.

6:15pm, you sat at the restaurant, waiting for Wonho to arrive.

6:45pm, you call his phone only for him to not pick up.

7:30pm, you try calling one more time, only to be sent straight to voicemail.

8:00pm, you finally gave up waiting and went home.

You checked your phone constantly, but heard nothing from him that night.

Waking up in the morning, you check your notifications, yet none of them are from him. You can't help but have a terrible feeling in your stomach, like something happened. You try calling him again, and it went to voicemail.

You call him again, and this time he answers. He sounds tired and annoyed. "What?" He snaps.

"What are you doing? Are you okay? You didnt show up last night." You whisper.

"I'm fine. Look, stop calling, just leave me alone." He growls before hanging up the phone.

Frustrated and annoyed, you get up to get dressed quickly and make your way over to his apartment. What the hell happened to make him change his mind so fast? Why was he being so harsh to you? What have you done?

40 minutes later, you're standing outside his front door, your hand up ready to pound on the door.

Knock

Within seconds, the door swings open, revealing a long haired beauty.

"Can I help you?" She asks with a smile.

Oh god you think.

"W-Wonho?" you stutter. She was stunning. Was she his girlfriend? Fiancee? Friend?

"Hey!" She yelled behind her. "There's a girl here for you. She looks sad." She says, giving you a sympathetic smile, that you didn't notice.

"What are you doing here? He snaps.

"What is wrong? What happened?" You ask.

"Nothing happened. Christ, you're so fucking clingy. Leave me alone." He shouts.

The girl behind him muffled a laugh as he began snapping at you. Your eyes dart over to her, giving her a confused look as she smirks at you. You try to shake it off, remembering you're there to get answers from Wonho.

"Why didn't you show up yesterday? Something happened! You told me you loved me before making dinner plans with me!" You yell. You didn't understand how he could change his tune so drastically.

"I lied. I don't love you. Never did. I used you to further my career, but look at what that got me. Nothing, except a clingy bitch. Now leave me the fuck alone." He spits, going back inside and slamming the door in your face. The tears that had been previously threatening to fall, spilled down your cheeks.

Why.. how could he change his mind so quickly? He had spent the nights with you telling you his plans for the future, including you in all of them. He told you he loved you, you were the one, he didn't want to be without you.

And now he's telling you it was all a lie, that he used you.

Your heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces. You could barely see out the windshield as you drove back to your apartment. Your tears refused to let up, just as your heart refused to repair even a little bit.

Wonho slid down the door after he had slammed it in your face, his head in his hands as he let his own tears fall freely.

"Who was that?" Yoomi asks, crossing her arms.

"None of your concern." Wonho snaps. "Did you pay grandma's hospital bills with the money I gave you?"

"Yes I did. Where did you get 14 million Won anyways?" She asks.

"Again, none of your concern." He spits, walking to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him. He didn't have the energy for her today.

The weekend for you was nothing but a blur. After you had gotten home on Saturday morning, you cried and slept, and cried more and slept. You were pretty sure you didn't eat anything, drink anything, or even leave your bed. You were a disaster, a heartbroken mess of a woman and you had no idea how to get out of it.

Even though you wanted to lay in bed forever, and forget the world, you got up Monday morning and put on an outfit that said professional, but was the least professional outfit you owned. You gave no fucks today. You left your hair alone, not giving shit as you looked in the mirror. Your eyes were so red and puffy, absolutely noticeable you had been crying.

You did your best to cover up your eyes, but even makeup couldn't hide what a mess you were, so you said fuck it and decided to scare everyone today.

Sitting in your office, you glance at your clock and it's only 11am. You want to die. Everytime you heard footsteps going down the hall your stomach dropped in fear that it was Wonho, but you hadn't seen him yet.

Yet, and you spoke far too soon. You looked down for a brief second and looked out the door when you lifted your head, and there was Wonho, standing outside his door staring into your office. You thought you saw his face twist in pain slightly, but you could have been wrong since it went back to being ice cold in a split second.

You could feel the tears slipping again, and you refused to let him see you cry again. You quickly log off your computer and grab your phone and purse, not caring about anything else before walking out of your office, past Wonho and to the elevators. You needed to get the fuck out of there and grab a drink.

Thank god for the bar down the street.

Glancing at your phone, you're a little shocked to see it's already 7pm and you've been drinking for 7 hours. Unlocking your phone, you decide to message one person back, the one person you knew would be here within 10 minutes if you asked her too.

"Fucking Chae, telling Minsu about Wonho and I.. it's her fault. She's the reason he left me." You mumble to yourself.

"Bitch!" You hear from across the bar. "What the fuck happened?" Chae asks as she sits across the table from you.

"Bitch? You're the bitch." You spit. Chae's taken aback.

"What?" She asks, confused. "What did I do?"

"You and your loud fucking mouth had to tell Minsu about Wonho and I. You're the reason he fucking left me. Maybe if you sucked a few more cocks you wouldn't have time to gossip about me." You slur, flipping her off before standing up and staggering out of the bar.

Sober you knew that Chae and her big ass mouth had nothing to do with you and Wonho breaking up, you were sure there were much bigger issues than that but she was there and easy for you to take your aggression out on.

You knew you shouldn't have done it, even plastered you knew you were wrong but it all came out like word vomit that you would most definitely have to apologize for another day. You cried a little more as you staggered to your apartment, flopping on your bed.

You weren't going to work tomorrow.

Instead when you woke up, you ate all the junk food you could find in your house before ordering more, along with more alcohol.

This was how you spent your week. Binge eating junk food, drinking and crying while watching couples get together in your favorite Korean Dramas.

"Fuck you Hyungsik for getting your happily ever after." You bawled. "Where's mine!?" You cried, throwing your bag of cheeseballs at the TV.

To say you were a wreck, was a heavy understatement.

On Sunday you were feeling a little better and had decided you were going back to work on Monday, but as you were trying to decide what to wear, everything looked like it would be too small. Surely you hadn't gained that much. You stepped on your scale, and almost fainted. In your one week of being home and bringing, you had gained 15lbs. Usually, it's not the end of the world but you were nowhere near mentally strong enough to deal with that much of a weight gain in such a short time.

You ran to your phone, dialing the number of someone you knew could help you.

"Chang-wook? I'm hiring you, starting tomorrow morning. Jaggu. Co gym, 6am. See you then." You finish, hanging up the phone.

Ji Chang-Wook was an old friend of yours, one that you're not afraid to admit you found him wildly attractive but he was more like a brother to you than anything else. He had the body of a god and could easily help you get back into shape. You didn't want to be this girl, torn apart after a break up. You repeated the quote your mother always told you to live by. "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours and if it doesn't, it never was."

If Wonho was meant to be yours, he would come back to you but you needed to give it time and show that you were doing okay while you waited.

Monday morning rolled around far too early for your liking. You cursed yourself for binge eating but more so cursed yourself for calling drill sergeant Changwook.

"You're late." He exclaims as you walk into the already busy gym.

"Bite me." You snap back. Your eyes scan your surroundings, and just your luck, Wonho is standing in front of the large mirror, pumping what you can only assume are the biggest weights in the building. "Shit." You whisper, turning around.

"Why are you attempting to hide?" ChangWook asks, looking you up and down.

"My ex is over there." You whisper, jerking your head in Wonho's direction. "The one pumping iron and the reason why I'm in this situation currently." You finish bitterly.

"Okay, well let's get working." He says, placing a loud and hard slap on your ass, causing you to yelp and Wonho to turn and look to see you laughing with ChangWook.

"Shithead." You murmur as he drags you over to the treadmill, making you run for 45 minutes straight, without a break.

When you're done he drags you over to weights, and other machines you wish you could name but honestly you weren't paying attention. Part of you just didn't care, but the other, larger part was too focused on what Wonho was doing, and the fact that the two of you continuously made secret, discreet and flirty eye contact. You were pretty sure, well you hoped it wasn't all in your head.

After spending all day in the gym, which turned out to only be an hour and a half, you said goodbye to the man who would be responsible for your death and went to collapse in the shower for a few.

When you finally felt like you'd survive, you got dressed for your day at work, hoping the rest of your day was a little easier than your morning.

And it was. You only saw Wonho four times throughout the day, and only cried three out of the four times, so you were making progress.

The next few days were hard, you had to work semi closely with the man you once saw a bright and beautiful future with, while he acts like he doesn't have a clue in the world as to who you were. That hurt the most, the pretending you two had nothing but you still wanted him. Despite all he said to you, or did to you, you still loved him.

"Ms. Kim, you'll be paired with Mr. Lee for this project. You all need to present tomorrow morning, and Mrs. Seo will choose her advisor after the meeting. Work hard." Mr. Park announces before taking off immediately after he ends the meeting.

"What the fuck." You whispered under your breath. You were annoyed you had to work with him, things were going very well with you and him by keeping your distance. You didn't want to have to actually speak to him or work with him, but you didn't have a choice now, did you?

"Should we go to my office or.." Wonho quietly asks, standing behind you.

"Mine." You snap, standing up quickly and stalking off.

Wonho silently shuffles behind you, keeping his distance from you but also keeping pace.

You sit down in your office chair as Wonho pulls one up to your desk, ready to work.

"So I think if we went with this approach, it would absolutely save her more money in the long run." Wonho suggests.

"Oh would it? Would it save her more money? Thanks so much for your input." You snap.

You knew you should be professional, you knew you were being a shithead but you couldn't help it. He was acting like he didn't tear your heart out and stop on it before chopping it into pieces with an axe.

"I'm sorry.. I was just.." he starts.

"No it's fine. I'm sorry. It's a great idea. Let's go with that." You say.

The next thing you know, it's 2am, and you and Wonho are still working, although almost done.

"End it like this?" He asks.

"Yeah, that's good." You say with a yawn. Standing up from your chair you stretch your body, bending over to stretch out your back while forgetting your skirt happened to be one of the shorter ones you owned, that just happened to slide up ever so slightly over your ass.

Wonho's breath hitched as he watched your skirt slide over the curve of your ass. "Shit." He murmured, feeling his cock twitch in his pants. Without thinking, he walks towards you, biting his lip as he gently presses his semi hard cock to your back side.

You stand straight up, shocked. You try to walk away but Wonho wraps his arm around your waist, keeping you against him. He places his head in the crook of your neck, taking in a deep whiff of your scent.

"Fuck, I miss you." He sniffles into your hair.

"Then why.. why did you.." you start before Wonho backs away from you.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.. I can't." He mumbles, grabbing his briefcase and taking off.

You went home that night and cried yourself to sleep.

Wonho went home and cried in the shower, his cock still hard at the memory of being so close to, pressed up against your ass. He knew this would be hard, but he really didn't think it would be this hard.

"Mr. Lee, thank you for joining us." CEO Kim says as he sits across from him and Mr. Park.

"Of course, how may I help?" Wonho asks.

"Your grandma is fairly sick, isn't she?" CEO Kim asks.

Wonho is slightly taken aback, he wasn't aware anyone else besides family knew about his grandma.

"She is." He answers.

"Now, what's your relationship with my daughter?" CEO Kim asks, his face now becoming more stern.

"Oh, um, we are in a relationship." He announces. He wasn't sure if he should have said anything, but truthfully it was his boss and your father, he couldn't lie.

"I see." CEO Kim says, clearing his throat. "My Y/N is a sweet girl. Smart, kind, passionate and comes from a well off family. She needs to be with someone more like her, which is why I have her husband picked out already."

"You're marrying her off?" Wonho asks, shocked. "Does she know?"

"No she doesn't know. And she won't know until everything is ready. Her and Park Seojoon will be happy once they learn to love each other, but we have an obstacle. You." He says, pointing at Wonho. "She can't be with you. So you're going to end things with her."

"I-I can't do that." Wonho says, standing up.

"You can and you will. Do you enjoy living in the apartment you're in? Because one call from me, I can have you evicted with nowhere else to rent. I can fire you from this job and stop you from getting any other job in your field, you'll be slinging burgers for $5 and hour. I'll also tell her about your dirty little secrets" He threatens. "You're sweet grandma, you're very behind on her hospital bills. Agree to my terms, and your debt is covered, along with all payments every month to the hospital. Your job is safe and so is your housing. What do you say?"

"Fine." Wonho agrees, he has no choice.

"I don't care what you tell her, or how you tell her. End things permanently."

Without another word, Wonho walks out of his office, ignoring your calls to see where he was for dinner. Ignoring the fact that he should be at the restaurant with you, not planning to destroy you. What choice did he have?

"Hello?" You answer your phone in the morning, feeling like it was far too early to be getting a call.

"Y/N, come for breakfast this morning." Your mother says.

"Is it necessary?" You groan.

"Yes. Now please. And look presentable." She says. "Love you."

Click.

Great, a breakfast can only mean one thing. You're in for quite the surprise.

"Thank you for showing up in a timely manner." Your mother says, giving you a quick hug.

"What's this about mom?" You ask, your stomach nervous.

"Just eat, Y/N." You father says, keeping an eye on the door.

A few seconds later the door opens, revealing a very attractive man in a suit. He looked to be about your age, maybe a few years older.

"SeoJoon! Thanks for coming." Your father laughs, standing up to hug the man.

"Y/N, this is Park SeoJoon. He's the heir to Park Foods, and.." your father pauses, looking at your mother. "Your future husband." He finishes.

You choke, you choked on your melon as soon as your father said the word husband.

"I'm sorry, WHAT?" You partially yell. "Nice to meet you, but no?"

"Y/N.." your mother starts.

"Don't Y/N." your father growls. "Be kind to your future husband."

"I'm not? I'm.. sorry, but again no. Every Time you've brought this up I've told you I'm not marrying someone for financial gain, or for company mergers. I'm marrying for love." you say.

"You'll end up loving him eventually.." your mother sighs.

"I'm not in it for eventually. I want the reason that I marry someone to be because we love each other, not because we're forced." you sigh. "In fact, there's already someone I would love to marry." you finish with a whisper.

Your mother perks up at your announcement, while your father seems angry. "You better not be talking about that new hire!" he yells, slamming his fist on the table.

"I am actually." you spit back.

"That's over. I took care of that! it didn't take much for him to leave you! Some threats, and a few million dollars? He's weak! SeoJoon is the one for you!" He yells.

"You took care of that?" you ask, tears brimming in your eyes.

"Oh Hyunjo, you didn't.." your mother gasps.

"That's why he left me? Because you threatened him to the point he was terrified and took some money?" You laugh, but the humor is nowhere to be found. "I always knew you did some shady shit, but this is low, even for you." You cry. "I'm your daughter! And you treat me like my life means nothing. I can't believe you."

Without a second thought, and ignoring the pleas from your mother, you burst through the front doors of the house and went straight for your car. You have one destination in mind, and you hoped he was home when you got there.

Arriving at Wonho's apartment, you violently bang on his front door, yelling for him.

"What?" the woman who was there last time answers.

"Is he here?" you ask.

"I don't know. But what I do know is that you should leave now." She says.

"Wonho!" You yell again. "I know about the threats and the money from my father! Please, talk to me." you yell over her.

Seconds later Wonho comes into view, moving past the woman that had been there previously.

"You know?" He whispers.

"I do..and I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me!?" You cried. "I could have helped you!"

"I didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone you love their father threatened them and paid off a large amount of debt and hospital bills? That's not something that comes easy to say over dinner or drinks." He tells you.

"I get it. I just wish I could have prevented it." you cry. "I could have done something." you sigh.

Wonho doesn't say anything, but instead pulls you into him, tightly wrapping his arms around you, holding you close.

"I'm sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean it." he whispers, nuzzling his face into your head. "I have never, for one second stopped loving you. It broke me to say those things to you, to physically see your heart break. I'll never forgive myself for that." He finishes.

"It's not your fault. It's my nosy ass father, who by the way, tried to marry me off today." You scoff.

"Oh, so you met SeoJoon?" He asks.

You back away from him. "You knew?"

"Kinda? I guess? He told me there was someone he wanted for your husband, but we didn't dive in any deeper than that." Wonho replies.

"Same shit. Christ. He's psychotic." You grumble.

"Come on." Wonho laughs, grabbing your hand to drag you inside.

Immediately your body stiffened as you remembered the girl that's been here far too often for your liking.

"Soya!" Wonho shouts.

"What do you want?" She asks, coming face to face with you.

"This is my girlfriend, the love of my life, now please get the fuck out." Wonho smiles at the woman who now looks offended.

"You're seriously kicking me out?" She scoffs.

"I seriously am." Wonho laughs.

"Nice to meet you girlfriend, I'm his sister, Soya. And I'll be going now I guess." She snaps, grabbing her jacket and storming out.

"That's your sister?" You ask, relieved.

"Yes? Who did you think it was?" He wonders.

"A wife or fiancee." You laugh, feeling stupid now.

"You're the only one I want to be my fiance and then my wife." Wonho smiles, placing both his hands on your face and pulling you in for a kiss.

Fuck you missed him so much. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he pulled your body in close.

"Come" you whisper, pulling away from him and grabbing his hand to drag him to the bedroom.

You close the door, before facing Wonho with a loving smile on your face.

"What?" He laughs.

"I just missed you, and I want to show you how much I missed you." You whisper, gripping the hem of his shirt before pulling it over his body and throwing it out of your way. Placing your hands on his chest, you lightly push him back to fall onto his bed. Wonho moves himself up the bed, laying on his stomach while he waits for what you're going to do next. You quickly discard your shirt and bra, while also tossing your pants to the side, leaving you only in a pair of black panties.

"I want you to tell me what you want, and how you want it. Okay?" You whisper, placing kisses along his back. "This is all about you."

"You don't have to do this baby." Wonho groans as you run your hands up and down his back.

"I do. Now shhh." You whisper, stroking his shoulders and around his neck. You run your fingers up the back of his head and through his hair, tugging lightly.

You move yourself down his body, straddling his ass, so you can lay yourself flat against his back, peppering small kisses along his shoulders and his neck. Your perky breasts pinned against his back as you whisper some of the things you love about him.

"I love your smile, your eyes, your laugh." You whisper. "I love your arms, your abs, your voice. So handsome, so strong."

Sitting up, you rub your hands down his arms that are now spread out. You lay yourself against him again before you slide off, laying closely beside him. Wonho rolls to his side, cupping your face before leaning in for a kiss, one which you dodge, moving down the bed to rub your hands up and down his legs, making sure to relax him even more. Your hand reaches down between his legs and gently rubs his balls for a few seconds before moving back to his legs and ass.

"Seriously." He groans, rolling over abruptly.

Now you straddle yourself on top of his front, just above his hard cock. You run your hands up and down his arms, over his chest and down his abs.

Leaning forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead, before his hand reaches up, grabbing your head to pull you in for a kiss.

You smile as you break the kiss, looking him in the eyes. "Do you trust me?" You whisper. You stare at him until he nods yes.

Biting your lip as you wiggle yourself down, gliding your clothed pussy over his erect cock, earning you a groan from him.

You bite your lip as you move your panties over to the side, placing his cock in between the lips of your pussy, and grinding on him.

"Oh my god." He groans, his hands coming up to reach for your waist, helping your hips grind against his cock.

"You tell me what you want baby," you groan, his cock perfectly sliding against your clit.

"Suck my cock." He groans, using his large muscles to halt your movements.

"Anything you want, baby." You moan, sliding off him to get on all fours. You hover over him, licking up the pre cum that spilled from his cock, with the tip of your tongue.

"God. Don't tease me." He groans, bucking his hips slightly.

Opening your mouth, you take in as much of him as you can, making sure to hit the back of your throat as you go down.

"Such a good little cock slut." He groans, bucking his hips harder this time. "Come here."

You crawl towards him, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. Wonho lifts his hands, cupping both your breasts, squeezing before pinching your nipples, tugging on them slightly.

"Do you like that?" He asks.

"Yes." You breathe. "This is supposed to be about you though." You partially whine.

"It is about me, I also like to make you feel good." He smirks. "Now put my cock back in your mouth."

After you deep throat his cock a few times, you come up for a breath and see Wonho's eyes dark, full of lust.

"Sit on my cock." He growls.

Without a second thought, you line your entrance up with his cock, slowly sinking yourself down on him.

"I missed the way your cock filled me up." You moan, your eyes rolling back slightly.

"Move." He spits, placing his hands back on your hips to make you start riding him.

Your hands move to his chest as you lift your ass up and slowly sink back down on his cock. "Fuck. I love that." Wonho groans, lifting your ass up to do it again.

You move yourself slowly against him, wanting to keep things loving and slow, but Wonho seemed to have other ideas, beginning to get a little impatient as he waited for you to speed up.

"Ride my cock baby, before I take over." He growls.

You smirk as you continue with the same pace, wanting you both to slowly cum together.

"I warned you." He snapped, sitting up and somehow flipping you so you were on your back, without his cock ever leaving your pussy.

"This is about me, right baby? Well I want to destroy your pussy." He snaps. "Open your legs wider."

With no hesitation, you spread your legs as wide as that can go while Wonho fucks you harshly. His hips snap as he pumps himself into you, desperately seeking his release, along with your.

"Rub your clit." He demands, watching your hand move between your lips and begin rubbing. "That's right baby, rub your clit till you cum."

"Fuck." You cry out, loving the sound of his voice when he talks dirty to you.

"You gonna cum baby? Let your pussy cum all over my cock." He groans, his pumps becoming faster but sloppy.

"Oh my god." You cry out, your orgasm bursting through your body, causing you to shake as you ride through it.

"Good girl." He smirks, his grunting becoming louder.

"Cum.. cum in my pussy." You cry out. Wonho grunts as he shoots his cum into you, painting your walls.

"Fuck." You both huff, laying in his bed together, catching your breath.

A few days later, you and Wonho were sitting in the cafeteria at work, having lunch together, when you received a message on your phone from your father.

"My father.. wants to see us bother." You tell Wonho, surprised.

"Let's go." He says, shrugging his shoulders.

"What? I was going to ignore it." You laugh.

"Well you could.. but I don't want you to not have a relationship with him because of me." Wonho admits.

"Trust me. You wouldn't be the reason." You say, rolling your eyes and heading up to his office with the love of your life in tow.

"You wanted to see us?" You say as you barg into the office.

"Hello, Y/N." Your father says.

"Hi. What?" You snap, unimpressed.

"Look." He sighs. "I want to apologize for my actions. I have realized I was very out of line, and should have more regard for your life and what you want to do. I just want you to be taken care of." Your father admits.

"Sir." Wonho interrupts. "I have every intention of taking care of your daughter to the best of my ability. I would and will do whatever I have to, to make sure she has everything she wants and needs. She will never be without."

"I sure hope so, son." Your father replies.

Nothing could take the smile off your face as you watch your father accept the man you love, and your Wonho forgive your father's terrible actions.

8 years later, and you and Wonho are still together and more in love than you were the day before.

A few days after you had sat down with him and your father, Wonho had gotten down on one knee and proposed.

Of course you said yes.

1 year later the two of you got married.

2 years later, your eldest son was born.

2 years after that, your second oldest son was born.

2 years after that, your youngest and last child was born, a daughter.

1 year ago, your father passed away from a heart attack. You were happy he was able to see your happy life with Wonho, and meet his grandchildren, but you missed him dearly. He had offered you the position of CEO, when he passed. He had said you were far better qualified than your brothers.

You happily declined.

As you sit on your deck, you watch Wonho run around, playing tag with your boys. You laugh as you watch them try to catch him, but fail to do so. Your heart flutters as you watch your daughter run to him, wanting to play but knowing she wasn't fast enough. He picks her up and cradles her in his arms as he carries her, allowing her to play with them. You never wanted your life to be anything different.

There was never a moment of doubt in your mind where you had not thought Wonho wasn't the one for you. He might have been a temptation in the beginning, but now he was your forever.

#wonho scenarios #wonho smut #lee wonho #shin hoseok #hoseok smut #wonho fanfic #hoseok fanfiction #monsta x wonho #monsta x smut #monsta x fanfic #monsta x scenarios #kpop icons #kpop smut #kpop fic #kpop fanfic

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cellard0ors · 3 years

Text

Fic: Santa Baby

Rating: Adult

Notes: Because I'm induniated with Christmas music at work...(Set in Divide verse, but you don't have to have read that to get the gist of this). Forgive mistakes - mostly written from mobile. Happy Holidays to all my followers, I wish you well and this is my gift to you! :)

"Stanley, this is never going to work."

"Oh ye of little faith," Stan says from the other room. Ford can't see him, but he knows what his brother is up to and it's ridiculous, "I don't know why I agreed to this in the first place..."

"Face it, Sixer - your husband is a gamblin' man. I'm rubbing off on you."

While Ford feels the pleasant of hum of Stan referring to him as his husband, he still can't help but let out an exasperated sigh, "Perhaps, but taking this bet? Ludicrous. There's no way I won't win," he sniffs with some self assured arrogance, "I almost feel sorry for you."

"You just wait," Stan's voice holds its own note of pride, "You won't be able to contain yourself when you see me in this get-up."

"You are correct. I won't be able to contain my laughter."

"Or your dick," Stan boasts and that gets a stuttering giggle out of Ford, as well as cheeks burning with embarrassment, "Stanley! Honestly, such language..."

"You love it," Stan returns easily, " Albeit you're more one for action than anything. That being said..."

He finally emerges from the other room and, just as Ford thought, he can't keep himself from laughing. Stan is dressed as Santa Claus. The full ensemble - red suit, shiny black boots, beard (his own, in point of fact) - and all so he can try and win a bet.

The bet being that he can get Ford in the mood to want to 'fuck' Santa. Ford wasn't particularly happy with that particular descriptor, but that's how Stan put it.

It all started with them noticing that a lot of the Christmas songs on the radio they had playing at the Shack were...questionable at best.

Santa Baby, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Santa Claus Is Back In Town, and more. Some even seem to suggest hooking up with Rudolph! As such, Ford made an off handed comment that he would never want to have sex with Santa and Stan took this as a challenge - thus the bet.

The prize?

Currently undecided, but that wasn't the point - the point was just the fun of the competition, the thrill of the gamble and yes, Ford supposed that Stan is right about his brother rubbing off on him in that regard.

But seeing this...

Ford rolls his eyes, but rises to his feet, moving to do what Stan asks, After all, what could it hurt? There's no way his twin is winning this bet.

"Well, this was a blast. I'll decide on my reward later..." Ford moves to leave his seat only for Stan to wave that away with one gloved hand, "Nah, nah - you haven't given me my proper shot yet, Sixer. This outfit's only part of the deal - now..."

He moves over to one of the big armchairs in the room and takes a seat, patting his right knee, "How's about you take a seat on Santa's lap and tell him what you want for Christmas this year?"

Stan is playfully slapping both knees now, even as Ford turns his back to him and prepares to sit. His ass gingerly touches his new seat, only for one of Stan's big arms wrapping around his middle and tugging him down insistently.

And the moment Ford is settled he knows why. He lets out a squawk, alarmed and stunned at the feel of Stan's very prominent erection digging into him.

"Stanley!" Ford cries, scandalized, and - unfortunately - immediately aroused. How did he not notice Stan's, ah, excitement when he first came out? The feel of Stan's rather substantial bulge makes his loins twist, a throbbing pulse starting deep in his balls.

Stanley, the scoundrel, sounds beyond pleased as he returns gruffly, "How's about we get you settled properly, little boy?"

Ford scowls at that even as his nerves spark with excitement. Then Stan has the gall to place his hands under Ford's knees, spreading his thighs wide, opening them until his legs fall to either side of Stanley's.

The position makes him feel wide open, vulnerable, exposed. More so when Stan runs a gentle hand along his inner thigh, the heat of his palm making his now stirring cock grow fuller.

The feeling of it all, of everything, makes Ford arch his back, a shuddering sob of air escaping him. The insidious pressure of Stan's dick brushing against his ass, his lower spine...

He feels...empty. His mind is suddenly flooded with heated images of Stan throwing him over the nearest object and filling him, taking him, pounding in so hard and so deep...

... Christ, he really is the little slut Stan always claims he is. A logical, brilliant mind like his...reduced to a slobbering, heaving mass of hormones, of wants and desires. And all thanks to sex.

No.

All thanks to Stanley.

And that's the name that escapes him again in a whining whimper as he squirms, his body pulsating with lust. Stan just huffs a laugh, his breath hot against one of Ford's ears, "Now, now - my name is Santa, remember?"

"I-I truly despise you..." Ford chokes out, just adding to Stan's amusement as he asks dryly, "And what's your name?"

"It's-ah!" The cry comes out sharp and quick, Ford unprepared for Stan's hips doing a single, strong upwards thrust. Bastard. He says his name, but it comes out in a wanton moan, "Stanford..."

"And have you been naughty or nice this year, Stanford?"

"I-I-I..." Ford stutters, trying to concentrate. Jesus, the fact Stan can get him so worked up so quickly should be illegal. It just adds more validity to Stan's 'off switch' theory. He certainly feels dumb as a stump as he grumbles, "Jewish... shouldn't even..."

"Santa can visit any girl or boy he wishes. So, Stanford," he rolls his hips up sensually again, making Ford mewl even as he husks, "I asked you a question - naughty or nice?"

The sound Ford makes isn't much of an answer, but Stan seems to take it as one, chuckling darkly, "How's about we see what's in your stocking..."

Stan's gloved hands are somehow damp, slick and Ford has no idea what kind of witchcraft the man did to make that possible, but he's so thankful for it. He thrusts wildly, gratefully, into the cool, slick cradle of Stan's grip, keening with pleasure.

He smoothly eases down the zipper of Ford's straining fly and while normally Ford would abhor the horrible indeundo about his 'stocking', but right now he's so eager to be free, to be touched, he practically lurches into Stan's grip, panting a desperate 'yes' as Stan reaches past the elastic of his underwear, drawing him out into the open air.

"Oh my, you are a naughty little boy, aren't you?"

Honestly, Ford wishes from the very deep depths of his soul that he didn't respond so much to this comment - to Stan's...whole thing right now.

But he finds himself already on the precipe of cumming, Stan's deft fingers playing perfectly along his rigid length - the plump, weeping tip of his dick - and, really, a man of his age should have more endurance.

Hell, it should be impossible for him to be so near his climax so quickly and yet here he is, rocking on Stan's lap, nothing but noise leaving him.

"What do you say, Stanford? You want to try and be a good boy for Santa? Be a good, nice boy who cums for him?"

"Stanley..." It's breathed in-between feverish moans, shudders rippling throughout his entire body. Teeth and tongue play along the shell of Ford's left ear, "Not my name..."

Stan's strokes pick up speed, his hips move up again, his bulge pushing just right between Ford's ass cheeks as he growls, "Say it."

"Santa!" Ford wails as he loses control, stars clouding his vision as his orgasm reverberates out from his very core. His body clenches and unclenches, waves of bliss washing warmly over him even as his release does the same to Stan's gloves, staining them with his spunk.

When he manages to breathe easy again, to be, again. Stan puffs, "Well, well, well. Looks like I won and I'll decide my prize later..."

Ford mutters some very colorful curses under his breath even as Stan gloats, "Don't be a spoiled sport, sweetheart. You got off on Santa. Literally."

"I got off on you, you asshole..."

"It wasn't my name you shouted just now."

Ford colors, sputtering, "You goaded me into it!"

"Eh, whatever you say, honey. We both know the truth," Stan snuggles one side of Ford's face, offering him a consoling kiss, "How's about we take a shower, huh? Santa's suit's a little...ah...sticky."

Ford's eyebrows rise at that. Did Stan get off too? The thought makes him grin a little, happy to know he has a similar effect on his twin. They slowly rise, a combo of sex and old age making getting to their feet something of a chore.

As they head to the restroom Stan leers at Ford, his eyebrows waggling playfully, "Next time we'll try the Easter Bunny."

Ford sighs, "Did I mention how much I despise you?"

Stan laughs, " I love you too, Ford. I love you too."

#stancest #my writing

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wizardofrozz · 3 years

Text

The Perfect Pair

Warnings: swearing

Pairing: Loki x OFC

A/N: This chapter doesn’t have a lot of Loki in it; it’s focused mainly on Violet’s relationships outside of him. The next few chapters have a lot more Loki present. ❤

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Chapter 11: Babysitting the Brother-in-Law

A group of maids ran past me as I made my way towards Hulk’s suite, terror etched on each of their faces as they hurried away. I approached Hulk’s room, finding Thor limping around the room, bare from the waist up; he bent down with a relieved sigh when he saw his armor. I waited until his chest plate was settled on his shoulder before clearing my throat. Thor spun on his heels, his chest plate bouncing against him, eyes narrowed until he saw me in the doorway. “You’re alive?” Thor shouted, eyes bugging out now. “Hello to you too, sparkles,” I smirked, making my way into the room. “I feel like I ask you and Loki if you’re alive an unhealthy amount.” Thor buckled his armor into place, wandering in a circle. “I can assume Loki didn’t tell you,” I sighed, grabbing his arm to stop his pacing. “Left that part out,” Thor grunted. I dropped my hand, looking around the room, when a noise caught my attention from behind Thor. He wandered over cautiously until he looked closer at the rocks in the room, an annoyed scowl settling on his face. “Are we cool?” Thor calls but Hulk only grunts. “How long have you been like that?” “Like what?” Hulk’s deep, booming voice answers. “Like this. Big, green…stupid.” Thor shuffles in place, glancing at me; I threw my hands up, walking towards the window. Some balls calling Hulk stupid. “Hulk always Hulk.” “How’d you get here?” Thor asked, following me towards the window. “Winning,” Hulk chuckles. “You mean cheating,” Thor shot back, tugging on the disk attached to his neck. “Were you wearing one of these when you won? How did you arrive here?” “Quinjet,” Hulk answers, splashing in the water. I rolled my eyes, turning towards the giant bed in the middle of the room, wandering towards the shelves set up near the bed. “Yes. Where is the Quinjet now?” Thor asked, looking at Hulk again. I could hear the movement of water behind me and decided to keep my back turned. “That’s naked. He’s very naked. It’s in my brain now,” Thor huffed, traumatized. I laughed to myself, continuing to wander around the room; I stopped in the back corner, realizing I should probably let Loki know his brother is alive. I closed my eyes, tuning out Thor and Hulk, sending my magic through the building, looking for Loki; I found him quickly, instantly poking at his mind. Thor’s alive. I shifted in place, trying to ignore the arguing between the Avengers behind me when I felt Loki’s presence. I figured, but I’m glad you found out for sure. Where are you? I could tell Loki was around other people; his mind was split. Hulk’s suite. I’ll find you as soon as I can, I thought, but my concentration broke when I heard a loud zap, like a bug flying into a bug trap. “Thor, go again!” Hulk laughed. I turned to find Thor lying face down, unconscious near the doorway. “Great,” I mumbled. “Banner no like you,” Hulk suddenly said to me: shit, New York. Panic set in when I realized he hadn’t seen me since New York, and the last thing I need is getting Hulk smashed into the floor. “Hi Hulk, I’m Violet. Could I talk to Banner? Or could you give him a message for me,” I coaxed, keeping my voice soft. “Message,” he grunted. “I wanted to say I’m sorry about New York. I’ve changed since then; Loki and I are trying to be better people, okay?” I avoided moving too much until Thor woke up again. “Hulk not care. Banner still sad,” Hulk answered. “Okay, so no hard feelings?” I asked, offering Hulk a smile. Hulk smiled softly, sliding off his bed; I watched him come closer, towering over me before roughly patting my head. Okay? “Hulk train,” he grumbled, leaving the room. I wandered towards Thor’s still unconscious body, walking around him, gently nudging him in different places. “Get up,” I yelled, pushing him harder with my foot. Thor slowly starts to move again, his eyes fluttering open, groaning from deep in his chest. “Okay, so I can’t walk out the door,” Thor mumbles, his voice deeper than usual. “Should’ve asked,” I hinted, raising an eyebrow at him. Ignoring me, Thor walks towards the window, staring up at the numerous wormholes that open onto Sakaar. I wandered back towards Hulk’s bed, dropping down in front of it for something somewhat comfortable to lean against. “Heimdall, I know you can see me.” Thor continued to stare out the window, his plea hanging in the air. “I need you to help me. Help me see.” I could see Thor’s face in the window; his eyes were closed as if he was waiting for an answer. I watched his face in the window contort suddenly for a brief second before his eyes opened. Woah, that’s new. Vibrant amber eyes reflected in the window, a stark contrast to Thor’s usual crystal blue eyes. “Hi, Heimdall!” I called, a smirk pulling at my lips. Thor’s head snapped in my direction so fast I jumped; Thor narrowed his eyes at me, glaring at me for a few seconds before he turned back to the window. I rolled my eyes, shifted against the bed to get comfortable, and let my eyes drift closed. /// A loud pounding behind me jolts me awake, fear pulsing through me until I got my bearings again. I blinked the sleep away, finding Thor still standing at the window, fidgeting with the disk on his neck; loud pounding behind me caught my attention again as Hulk lumbered over to Thor. “Thor sad.” “Shut up,” Thor hissed. “Thor sad!” Hulk yells this time, punching Thor, knocking him on his ass. “I’m not sad, you idiot!” Thor yells. “I’m pissed off! Angry. I lost my father. I lost my hammer.” As Hulk came bounding towards his bed, I jumped away, scrambling towards the door, pulling myself groggily to my feet. Hulk started punching his pillow, only stopping when Thor walked towards the bed to glare at Thor. “Whining and crying. Cry like baby,” Hulk mocks. “You’re not even listening!” Thor shouts, kicking a helmet. “Don’t kick stuff!” Hulk scolds. “You’re being a really bad friend!” Thor shouts. “You bad friend!” Hulk bellows. I dropped my head, rubbing my temples, listening to the two morons in front of me argue like children. No wonder Loki grumbles about these two. “You know what we call you?” “No,” Hulk answers. “We call you the stupid Avenger,” Thor spats. “You’re tiny Avengers!” Hulk roars. In his fit of rage, Hulk picks up a shield that’s easily as tall as Thor and launches it across the room, nearly taking Thor’s head off. “What, are you crazy!” Thor’s voice shoots up a few octaves. “Yes,” Hulk answers plainly. Who do I grumble about? I froze when I heard a voice in my head. Loki? I blanched, wondering when his magic got in my head. Who else is talking to you like this? I heard the amusement in his thoughts. When did you reach out to me? I tried to focus on one question at a time. I don’t know. I just heard you say something about how I grumbled about someone. Loki’s thoughts shifted, taking on a tense tone. Thor and Hulk. But I didn’t reach out to you either. My head spun. I-I don’t know, is all I got from Loki. Christ, I’ll find you later. Thor and Hulk are going at it. I rolled my eyes, turning to see Thor and Hulk arguing about fire and water. “What are you two going on about?” I asked, wandering towards Hulk’s bed. “We’re making up,” Thor said with a smile. “Well, don’t kill each other. I need to go do my rounds in the scrap yard.” I drug my feet towards the door, rubbing the last of the sleep from my eyes. “Figure out how we’re getting off this crazy-ass planet. I want to go home,” I called, lazily waving as I left. /// I stifled a yawn as I steered my borrowed ship into its place in the hanger; I shut down the engines when I got the thumbs up from the marshall. I jumped from the ship, making quick work of getting back to Hulk’s room but not without looking for Loki first. I wandered the halls of the main building, peeking into different rooms, hoping to catch a glimpse of Loki; I made it to the hall where Hulk lived, seeing no sign of Loki. I quickly made it to Hulk’s suite, seeing him throwing a red ball violently at the wall, cracking it with each throw. “Hey Hulk,” I smiled. “Violet,” Hulk responded, his fingers bending slightly in an attempt to wave. “Where’s Thor?” I wondered, glancing behind me. Hulk grunted, catching my attention before pointing behind a shelf; Thor leaned out, pressing a finger to his lips, shushing me. “Thor hiding,” Hulk chuckles, resuming his game of catch. “Why?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Instead of getting a straight answer, Thor pointed to the doorway, where I heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching. “Angry girl!” Hulk called. “Hey, big buy!” a familiar voice called. “Bea?” I called, walking towards the doorway. My friend stepped into the room a second later, a confused look crossing her face. “What are you doing here?” Bea asked, slinging an arm over my shoulder, dragging me towards Hulk. “You know her?” Thor interjected, appearing beside Hulk. “This is why you asked me here?” Bea glared at Hulk, waiting for an explanation, but Hulk only shrugged, his face falling when he realized she was mad at him. “Hello?” Thor piped up again. “Yes, Thor, I know her. We’ve been friends since I joined Asgard’s army many, many years ago.” Thor raised an eyebrow at me, obviously having more questions but deciding it was best to keep his mouth shut. “Again, what are you doing here?” Bea asked, facing me again. I raised an eyebrow, vaguely gesturing towards Thor, sighing heavily. “Oh right, the whole ‘brother-in-law’ thing,” Bea grunted. My eyes bulged out of my head when her words sunk in, sending my heart rate skyrocketing. “Shit, he didn’t know yet, huh?” “Nope, hadn’t really had the chance to tell him,” I whispered, refusing to look towards Thor. “WHAT?” Thor roared, his voice reverberating off the walls. “Thor,” I tried, but he held a hand up, cutting me off. “You’re married to my brother, and neither of you thought that was important to tell me?” “When did you want us to tell you! When you were holding Mjolnir to Loki’s chest? Or when we were trying to find Odin?” My voice grew louder the angrier I got. “How about when Hela was throwing our asses out of the Bifrost?” Bea grabbed my arm, yanking me out of my chaotic rant before I gave myself a heart attack. “Look, Loki wanted to tell you, but there hasn’t been a good time to do it.” “…I know,” Thor sighed, deflated. “I just didn’t expect it to happen, let alone without Loki telling me.” Sadness settled on Thor’s face, making him look older, more weathered; guilt slammed into when I realized Thor wasn’t mad that we did it. He’s upset we didn’t let him be part of it. “Thor, it was nothing big. You didn’t miss much,” I reassured him, trying to smile. “I kind of figured, you don’t even have rings,” he laughed dryly. “Of course we do,” I reached for the chain around my neck. Thor looked up, eyeing the ring dangling from around my neck, a small smile pulling at his lips. “I am happy for you both. You’ve come a long way from when we met,” Thor laughed. “Okay, this is so adorable I could puke, but I have shit to do, so what do you want, Thor?” Bea cut in, glaring at Hulk one more time. “Odin is dead.” An odd feeling settles around the room, but Bea stayed quiet, keeping her gaze on Thor. “Hela, the Goddess of Death, has invaded Asgard.” “I know, which means Asgard is already lost,” Bea noted matter-of-factly. “I’m going to stop her,” Thor stated. “Alone?” Bea snorted. “Nope. We’re doing this together. It’s me, Vi, Loki, Hulk, and you,” Thor smiled. “No team, only Hulk,” Hulk barked, throwing the ball again. “I think you it’s only three of you,” Bea shrugged, turning to walk away. “I’m not getting involved in another of Odin’s family squabbles.” “What do you mean?” Thor pressed. “Leave it goldilocks,” I warned, shooting him a pointed look. Bea glanced at me before her eyes fell shut, and she sucked in a deep breath. “Your sister’s power comes from Asgard, just like yours. When Odin couldn’t contain it anymore, he sent the Valkyrie in to push her back. She killed all of them, and I only escaped because…” Bea trailed off, flinching inward at the memory. “Look, I faced her once when I believed in the throne. I lost everything, and that’s what’s wrong with Asgard. The throne, the secrets, all of it.” Bea tried to turn away again, but Thor stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Thor,” I warned again. “I agree,” he murmured, ignoring me. “Don’t,” Bea snarled, twisting his hand off her shoulder. “This isn’t about the crown. It’s about the people. They’re dying, and they’re your people too,” Thor ventured. “Forget it. I have,” she snapped. “Okay.” “Okay,” Bea said, slightly surprised. “Good. Great,” Thor smiled. “Great,” Bea mumbled, looking at me for some kind of validation. I shrugged, giving Thor a sideways glance, just as confused as her. “Thank you.” “For what?” Bea snapped, looking back at him. “For this,” Thor beamed, holding the obedience disk fob. “Didn’t see that did you?” “Okay, I’m impressed,” I chuckled, earning a scowl from Bea. “There” -Thor pressed the button, the disk falling from his neck- “that’s better. You know, go ahead. Stay here and get drunk and enslave people for that lunatic. Keep drinking. Keep hiding. But me…” Thor made grabby hands at Hulk; Hulk tossed him the ball, giving him an odd look. “I choose to run toward my problems and not away from them.” -Thor threw the ball at the window- “Because that's what…” Thor is cut off when the ball bounces back, nailing him in the face, sending him crumbling to the floor. Bea and I snorted, trying to choke back laughter as Thor tried to get to his feet. “Because that’s what heroes do.” Thor finished his speech then launched himself through the window. “Friend, stay!” Hulk yelled out the window. “Hey, big guy, it’s-“ Bea was cut off when Hulk jumped from the window. “Alright.” “Why do I feel like I should go find them?” “Because he’s your responsibility,” Bea answered. “Rhetorical question,” I sneered. “Scrapper 142. Grandmaster requests you,” a guard called from the doorway. “Okay,” she called, grabbing my arm, pulling me with her. “Should I even bother following them?” I sighed, marching down the hall in step with the guards. “Meet me at my apartment in half an hour,” she said, pointing at me. “Got it.”

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Series Masterlist | Chapter 12

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@criminalyetminimal @marvelfansworld

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67impalaandwhisky · 4 years

Text

Destiny Is Heaven Sent

Summary: Knowing Dean Winchester since you were fifteen, you’ve always been pulled in his direction. Always wanting to open up the rattled and broken cage your heart lives in. But when the child you’ve been raising together dies, you find yourself closing up the cage of your heart again. And if destiny has one thing for you, it’s to break you down before bringing you back up.

Characters: Dean x You, Sam, Castiel, Bobby, OFC’s, OMC’s, (Ongoing)

This Series Is Set Through Seasons 1-6 With Knowledge That The Bunker Exists

Rating: 18+

Warnings (Ongoing and Will Be Updated): Grieving, Mentions of Rape and Defilement (As Per A Case), Show Level Violence, Swearing, Smut, Impreg Kink, Blood, Fighting, Drinking, Dean Being Dean, Fluff, Angst, Dom!Dean, Sub!Reader

Warnings For This Chapter: Sexual Thoughts, Sexual Tension (!), A Break In The Case

Chapter 3.

The slam on the door jolts you awake first thing in the morning.

With a whine, you hold your head before looking at Dean who's curled around you like a snake as he continues to sleep.

"Hey!" Sam yells through the door.

You hear the small tinkering in the lock before the door comes opening up with him crouched down right before it. He gives a nervous chuckle as you raise an eyebrow at him.

"Lock picking so early in the morning, Samuel?"

"We got a new body. Prostitute just like our first victim." He says before looking down at Dean as he buries his face into your bare side.

"Me and Dean will go. Let me just get him up." You say before giving his younger brother a weak smile.

Sam shakes his head, a smile widening over his face as he closes the door shut.

You look down to your left as you blink, trying to clear your mind of all the alcohol sluggishness you feel. He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. No hardened eyes or worry lines on his forehead.

His lips are gently parted, the famous Dean stubble gracing his sleeping face.

You want to open up the cage that surrounds your heart and that's exactly why you can't.

You shouldn't want to do anything. And, maybe that's the harsh negativity in your brain but you can't see any other way around it.

Letting him in would mean you would be vulnerable. Would he be the one to protect you? He would be the one to comfort you?

He shouldn't have to.

Fuck that destiny stuff. Fuck that soulmate stuff.

But, you're frightened that there will be a time when you need him over anything else.

And it's slowly coming to that time. The time to just let out your demons and accept that you're not safe and sound if it isn't with Dean.

"Dean?" You whisper softly as you nudge him.

He groans at the call of his name, nudging his hips closer to yours and you can feel his morning erection digging into your thigh as he sniffles gently.

You've felt it before, you've felt his hips snap and jolt against you looking for the heat of your body to get him off in his sleep throughout the years.

You can feel the fresh wave of arousal washing over you like waves. Your vision tunnels as you look down at his briefs.

He must have taken his pants off after you fell asleep.

His thighs are toned and taut as they flex beneath the thin black fabric of his underwear.

Subconsciously, you lick your lips as the outline of his cock protrudes through the fabric.

You've always heard praise and moans through thin motel walls from the women he's fucked. Always moaning about how big his cock is and how it fills them so full. You always thought it was a show until now. He was packing something serious in those denim jeans of his.

You haven't been fucked in a long time. Too long if you're being honest.

You can only imagine how his perfect pink lips would feel as they drift down your body. His calloused hands rough and urgent against your warm, soft skin. How his stubble would tickle you and make your skin only that much more sensitive for him.

Your hand cards through his hair and you lose yourself for a second as you watch him.

"Like what you see?" You hear him murmur, his voice laden with sleep.

Your eyes widen, your heart begins to pick up speed at the embarrassment of getting caught.

Your hands react first, shoving him hard and fast away from you. He rolls off the bed and groans loudly as his body collides with the floor.

"Jesus Christ!" He whines as he sits up.

His eyes snap open, evergreen irises finding yours before he's rubbing the bleariness away with his fists.

"Let me give you a little lesson-," he cringes standing up before walking over to the counter and grabbing water, "if you see a hard cock, you touch it. You don't fling the person into the void." He grumbles before sipping the water.

You narrow your eyes at him, pulling the sheets over your half naked body, "Eat a dick, hot shot." You counter and he just simply smiles at the motel room floor before walking towards the bathroom.

"Relax, Candy girl. I like waking up next to you. Starts my day off right." There was no flirtatious tone to his voice, no wink. Nothing that would signify him trying to get into your pants. It brings a blush to your cheeks and neck.

You find yourself grimacing as he shuts the door.

Wearily, you get up and grab your clothes before staring at the bathroom door.

Maybe if you crack the cage of your heart open only a little bit, it might suffice. Maybe if you just let him in a little then it would take away your pain.

"We have a new body." You call to him through the bathroom door.

He swings the door wide open as he steps out and you shield your body with your clothes as he leans against the door jamb.

"Let's get ready to gank this bitch then."

You roll your eyes before shooing him away but you don't miss as his eyes drift over your almost bare legs that your clothes can't seem to cover.

His eyes flicker with mischief before retreating back into the bathroom with a sly smirk on his face.

God, if there was one thing that Dean knew it was that he was way more into you then you were into him.

Opening the passenger door to the Impala, he waits for you to step out of the hotel room.

It's very rare to see you in a pencil skirt but the times that you do have it on, it's an experience for Dean.

Your legs look so soft, your toned thighs are hidden and teasing underneath the constraining fabric, nevermind how pert and perky the globes of your ass look.

He can't help the laugh he gives as you pull down the skirt uncomfortably, trying to make it go past your knees.

Everything you do is so endearing to him.

It's almost incredible to him that you've been the person you are since he met you and growing up he tried to get into people that were so absolutely different from you.

You were sexy and confident, not overly sexual and not flirtatious at all. You were focused and did your job to the best of your ability.

He admired everything about you in your entirety so when we looked for women, he looked for everything opposite of you. No one could ever be you nor would he want them to be.

"I feel so fucking restricted, this is horrible." You complain as you climb into the car.

"You look good." He comments simply.

You watch him walk around the car, his fingers tapping rhythmically against Baby's hood. He fixes his tie and you can feel your palms become sweaty at the sight of him in the rented suit.

You decided that you would start to open your cage, just a bit. Healing starts with you, it wouldn't just get better on its own.

Dean climbs into the car before turning to you. Without a second thought, you fix his tie even better than he could have done minutes earlier.

His breath stutters as you wipe off the shoulders of his suit jacket. Eyes widening a fraction as he looks down at you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He murmurs as he starts the engine.

"Nothing." You reply as his hand purchases behind your chair.

What is it about Dean Winchester reversing a car that's so hot? The way he angles his body towards yours, you can smell all of his scents plus the citrusy bar of soap the motel provides.

He hums to himself as he begins to back up the car. You begin to count the freckles on his face before his eyes snap to yours.

"You are really weird today." He mumbles before pushing your hair off of your shoulder and squeezing it lightly.

"Marsh wouldn't want us to fight. He loved us being together." You say certainly as you look out the window.

Dean stops the car before turning to look at you fully. His eyes were roaming over your face. Your voice seemed peaceful. Were you letting him in again? Were you making the time to open your heart up for him once more?

"Yeah...he did love us being together." He replies as he tilts his head.

You give a small smile towards the window, watching him stare at you through the glass.

"Marsh would be mad at us if he saw how we've been acting." You say as you lower the window.

The man beside you stares ahead as he clears his throat.

You were opening up. He can feel his mood lifting into something on the sweet side of happiness.

Maybe dreary clouds and terrible fights were on their way out. Maybe, you could start to be his life partner once more.

He smirks to himself as he stops at the light.

"I'm glad you see it that way. I agree." He whispers before turning up the music.

On the way to the morgue, the car ride is filled with singing and laughs. Something that's been so distant in both of your lives for quite some time.

"Can you not touch that?" Dean asks as you throw your legs up onto the dashboard.

"What's got your panties in a twist, De? I want to listen to Kansas." You whine holding up the cassette.

His evergreen irises flicker to you as he drives down the highway. You give him a wide smile, showing him your pearly whites and he smirks before grabbing the cassette.

"Fine just don't tell Sam I'm letting you pick the music." He mumbles before blasting the music as he lowers all your windows.

"WOO!" You cheer, the Indiana breeze blowing through your hair as you start to play the air guitar.

You can hear his hearty chuckle beside you as he speeds up the car.

"You're the only girl I know that is me in the female form!" Dean yells above the music as he turns the car along the highways curves.

"Maybe that's why we make such a great team!" You call back as the melody of voices carries through the air.

"We're the perfect team, Candy girl! All I need is you, me, Sammy and a six pack of El Sol!" He yells as the engine revs loudly.

Sitting in the motel room by his lonesome, Sam taps his cell phone against his temple as he scrolls through his laptop.

What kind of pissed off spirit has the mojo to do this? There's not a single haunting as far as the eye can s-

"Hello Sam." He jumps in his chair before turning to the voice of Cas as he stands before the small kitchenette of the room.

"Hi Cas. Jesus." He mumbles before carding his fingers through his long hair.

Castiel stands quietly as Sam shuts his laptop.

"Uhhh Cas? Did you come for a reason?" The taller man asks as he grabs his cup of coffee.

"Yes." The angel replies and Sam nods slowly before raising his eyebrows.

"Okay. So. Why're you here?" He asks aloud as Cas sits down at the small table.

"We have to make Dean and Y/N fall in love with each other." Sam groans loudly at his words before sipping his coffee.

"Cas, I told you. I've tried but Dean just doesn't want to hear it. He's been hearing it since he was sixteen from our dad." The taller man notifies as he rests his elbow on the table.

"We should tell Y/N." Sam narrows his eyes at the angel before laughing.

"Yeah? Do you think she would take it better than Dean?"

Cas ponders on the thought for a second before humming uneasily, "No. In fact, I think she might try to hit me for suggesting it and break her own hand in the process."

Sam gives him a thumbs up before rolling his eyes.

"They already love each other. They just have to get over the whole initial terror of being actual people with one another." He mumbles as Cas stares at him.

"Yes. But they need to do the act of love for destiny. God sent everyone a direct message, and they are just not heeding it." Sam leans forward at his admission.

"God wants Y/N and Dean together?" Sam asks loudly.

"Oh yes. It's been aware to all angels for quite some time. Right after you went into the cage."

"Well why didn't you say that before? That's kind of a big deal, Cas!" Narrowing his eyes at the vessel of Lucifer, he stands back up.

"It isn't as big of a deal as it should be, apparently. They aren't even taking this seriously." He deadpans, his voice getting dangerously low.

Sam scoffs before looking down at his phone.

"I don't know what to say. They just have to figure it out on their own." He mumbles.

"Useless." Cas says before vanishing from sight.

Sam lets out a groan before opening up his laptop once more.

"You're useless." He whispers under his breath before continuing his research.

Pulling at your skirt, you shove the doors open exiting the morgue with your best friend by your side.

"They both were pulled from the same corner, both were aspiring models that wanted to just make some extra cash to live." Dean says as he takes off his tie.

You frown before giving up at the uncomfortable fabric and groaning loudly.

"Would you stop? You look like your diggin' up your ass to find gold." He whispers as people walk by you into the building.

"Yeah well, this skirt fucking sucks! I feel trapped in a cocoon!" You bark back as you walk towards Baby.

"Your butt looks good though." He compliments calmly as he walks around the car.

"Shut up!" You admonish as he opens the door for you.

"Look! I can't even move my legs!" You complain as you try to stretch your legs, the fabric only giving way about four inches before you find your legs trying to close from the tightness of the fabric.

Rolling his eyes he unbuttons the top button of his dress shirt.

"Yeah, alright. I hear you. Let's go back and change. God, you whiner." He says, leaving your door open as he rounds the car to open his own.

Throwing your body into the car, you unzip the back of your skirt before sighing happily.

Dean looks over before his eyes widen and he grips the steering wheel tightly.

He can see the revealing skin beneath the open zipper, the gentle parting of your asscheeks below the tight fabric.

"Are you kidding me?" He complains as he turns on the engine.

"I don't feel as suffocated, leave me alone." You mutter out as you unbutton a few buttons on your blouse.

You were used to tight tank tops, loose jeans and combat boots.

His eyes falter to the soft looking skin in his peripheral again, his tongue tracing over his bottom lip before clearing his throat.

"Just wear suit pants next time. Jesus." He says as he pulls out of the parking lot.

"Let's go change and get a beer. I'm thirsty." You tell him as you lower your window.

His head turns to watch you while he stops at a stoplight as you angle yourself out the window. The globes of your ass press tightly together as you fix yourself comfortably in the seat.

Running his large hand over his face, his bottom lip tucks between his teeth.

You don't even know how sexy you are. You don't even care. That's what gets him so hot and bothered when he's alone.

"Light's green." You comment as you look at the autumnal leaves on the trees.

God, what if he could just wrap his big hand around your waist and tug you into his lap. Pull you over the middle console of Baby and grip those sexy cheeks between his fingers.

So fucking pert and per-

"The light's green, idiot." You tell him as a car honks behind him.

Sticking up his middle finger, he abandons his wildly horny thoughts to drive down the road.

"So are we getting beers?" You ask as you sit properly in the passenger's seat.

"Oh yeah. I need a drink." He murmurs, turning up the music loud.

"Yeah well we need to be quick about this. Another victim seems to be coming up." You say as you sit down in the booth of the dive bar with your two best friends by your side.

Throwing your legs over Dean's lap, you watch as his hands immediately grip them tugging you closer to his body on instinct as he sips his beer.

"There's not a single haunting in this town of Missouri." Sam whispers as the waitress comes over.

"Hey guys! Can I get you another round?" She asks, her eyes immediately wavering to the older brother as she pushes some hair behind her ear.

It doesn't quite bother you as much as you would think. Dean's been getting pussy since you both met.

"What do you want?" He asks you, his thumb drifting over the leather of your thigh high combat boots as he ignores the waitress.

"Whisky and coke." You say as you look through the documents Sam has printed from a nearby Staples.

Dean leans closer to you and you freeze, your eyes flitting to Sam. You can feel your heart begin to beat faster, can feel your breath stuttering in your throat.

"You have an eyelash." He mumbles as he picks the lash off of your cheek.

Pulling back he holds the eyelash on his index finger in front of your face before turning to the waitress.

"I'll have what she's having. Sammy?"

"Same." He murmurs suppressing his smile as you narrow your eyes at the younger brothers.

The waitress smiles, "Three whisky and cokes coming up. You want your drink extra strong, handsome?"

Dean clears his throat as he pushes his empty beer bottle farther away from himself.

"Whatever you're giving my girl is good enough for me." He says calmly.

You wish that things would just fall into place, for the pain to go away and for your heart to be soothed and open once more.

You blow the eyelash off of his finger before leaning back in the booth.

"She's your girlfriend?" The waitress asks, pointing at you with her pen.

You don't dignify a response as you stare at the pages of information on the victims. You're used to Dean turning the flirting into his nightly pleasure within a few minutes.

"My wife, actually." Dean says before he finishes off your beer and grabs some papers on the case you're working.

Sam smiles widely before finishing his beer and you roll your eyes, suppressing the smirk your face just naturally wants to give.

Her smile falters as she grabs the empty beer bottles before nodding.

"Lucky girl." She says and you snort before looking up at her.

"You don't know the half of it." You deadpan, earning a loud laugh from the younger best friend on your right.

Dean doesn't even watch her walk away, he plays with the laces of your boots as you continue to rifle through the papers.

"She was pretty." You comment as you turn your attention to him.

He looks up from your boots just to shrug, "Not in the mood."

His brother lets off a low whistle as he leans his shoulder against yours, "Dean Winchester isn't in the mood? Has the world ended?"

You giggle at his joke while his older brother grimaces.

"Shut up." He mutters.

"Here you go. Three whisky and cokes." The waitress says as she begins to take them off the tray.

"Thank you swee-" He stops himself short before looking at Sam, who gives him a teasing smile as you put down the two photos of the victims on the table.

"Oh my Gosh. Those are the victims, aren't they?" The waitress whispers quietly as she leans against the booth.

"You know them?" Sam asks as he pushes his hair back.

"Of course. We haven't had murders or prostitutes for a long time around here." You sit up straighter, pulling your legs from Dean's lap.

"A long time? Online it says you never had any." You ask, tilting your head.

Dean sips his drink, staring at you instead of the waitress.

It's cute when you become interested in information, the way your shoulders straighten and your neck sticks out just a tad.

"Well yeah. The mayor probably doesn't want people to know that his grandmother was actually a prostitute. Or so they say." You hum intrigued as you pick up your drink.

She notices how keen you are and continues to speak, angling her body towards you.

"Apparently back in the early nineteen hundreds, there were prostitutes on that very corner. The mayor's grandmother being one of them. There was a guy named Morley Rosmund that had sex with one of the women from the corner behind his wife's back and she got pregnant. When he told her to get rid of it, she ended up killing him. She had sex with him first and then put his body through a woodchipper. Only up to his pelvis though and then she left him. Since then, all prostitutes have been disappearing on that corner for years." You nod at the story, your eyes flickering to Dean as he shakes his head with a wry chuckle.

"And no one talks about this?" Sam asks as she stands back up.

"You just need to talk to people that do know the tale, I guess." She says with a shrug before nodding to a group of people that call her from the other side of the bar.

"Well I'll be damned." Dean lifting his glass.

"Cheers." You say before clinking glasses with the both of them.

"Guess I'm putting on a dress tomorrow." You mutter as you write down the dead man's name.

"Can't wait to see how uncomfortable you get with that." Dean jeers with a laugh as he picks your legs back up and puts them on his lap.

Raising an eyebrow, you watch as he strokes the leather of your boots.

"It's comforting." He mumbles before finishing his drink with one large gulp.

Yeah, it is comforting.

Forever Dean Tags: @akshi8278

#dean winchester #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester x you #spn book #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfic #supernatural #destiny is heaven sent #spn fam #dean winchester smut #dean book

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