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animeomegas · 3 years

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MY FELLOW ANON ARE VIOLATING MY EMOTIONS TODAY 😂 god I’m acc crying. Your writing is amazing. I’m gonna combat the sadness with a wholesome thing of them finding a pup in a bin (or something) a few months after the loss of the first pup (Neji is currently shut down entirely) is like “lol gimme”. Proceeds to take the pup home, put it in his nest scent the lil bean (gender is your choice) and just be like “yeah this mine now”. Any nay sayers are ignored bc it’s still his baby (maybe almost like his pup reincarnated 👀👀) regardless of how baby was obtained. Idk I just think my guy needs some positivity after life kicking the ever loving shit out of him

This is beautiful and you’re right, Neji deserves the world, but I’ll settle with a quiet life and some happiness for my boy!

Okay, so things haven’t been…good with Neji since you had to let your pup die to save him.

It has been two months and still he lays in his nest every day, sometimes crying, sometimes whining, but mostly just staring at nothing. He had incorporated a bunch of baby stuff (blankets, toys etc.) into his nest before he went to the hospital, in order to make his pup feel more at home in the nest when he was supposed to bring them back. You had tried to take them out to stop him having to be confronted with what happened in his safe space, but Neji almost attacked you for doing so, so you let him keep them.

But it’s very concerning when he spends hours at a time just stroking the pup's blankets and staring at nothing.

So, you decide to take Neji on a walk to get him out of the house. It would be his first time leaving the house since the funeral.

You go at night time, because Neji is still refusing any contact with anyone he knows and this way he’s less likely to be confronted when he isn’t ready for it. To make extra sure that you can be alone, you decide to walk around the edge of the woods around one of the quieter training grounds.

Neji doesn’t speak much, but he doesn’t whine or cry either, and the night air brings a little colour to his cheeks, and you’re so happy at the small improvements. It doesn’t matter how long it ends up taking him to feel better, you’ll be here with him the whole way.

…

“I was thinking about cooking something special next week,” you make idle conversation, not expecting Neji to reply. “It’s our anniversary after all, do you have any preference?”

Neji stops walking suddenly. His shoulders are tense.

“Neji?”

He hushes you harshly.

“I can hear…”

Without another word of warning, Neji makes his way a little further into the trees. You follow him, confused and worried.

“Byakugan!” he calls, scanning the area. He gasps as he scans over a nearby bush and immediately he drops to his knees beside it.

“Neji?” you ask, now more than a little concerned. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

You watch as Neji pulls something out of the bush. He turns around with a bundle in his arms.

“It’s a pup,” Neji says, obviously shocked. You can’t blame him, you’re feeling more than a little shocked yourself. What on earth was a pup doing out here? “They’re freezing. Give me your jacket.”

Without hesitance, you quickly slip your jacket of and hand it to Neji who promptly bundles up the pup in it and brings them to his chest. The pup is making small whimpering noises that had been almost impossible to hear over the wind. Neji must have hear them, thank goodness.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Neji coos to the pup. “You’re safe now, I'll take you home and make it better, I promise.”

“We need to get them to the hospital asap," you say, shaking your head. "They must be freezing and they look underweight as well. We’re not mednin, Neji.”

“Our home is closer.”

“Neji…”

“We need to make sure they’re warm,” he argues. “We can bring them home and alert a medic to make a home visit.”

You look at the earnest look on his face and know that he won’t back down, and now isn’t a time for arguments anyway.

“Okay,” you swallow nervously. “We’ll bring them home.”

…

You bring the pup back to your home and before you can protest, Neji brings them into his nest with a mumbled ‘they’ll be warm in there’.

Neji bundles himself and the pup up in the corner of the nest, turning on a little heater beside him, and tucking the pup into his shirt to share body warmth.

“We’ll get you nice and warm, it’s okay, you’re safe, I won’t let anyone harm you,” he whispers while stroking their cheek with a finger. The pup wriggles around, already looking more energetic, and starts mouthing at Neji’s chest.

“Are you hungry?” Neji laughs softly before turning to you. “Go and heat up a bottle for the pup, all the supplies are in the… the nursery.”

You nod dumbly and do as you’re asked, astounded at how much life is in Neji’s eyes. It’s the most life you’ve seen from him in months. But you can’t help but worry. What if Neji gets attached and you can’t keep the pup? Of course, you want nothing more than to keep the baby, it almost seems too good to be true that she literally fell into both your lives at this trying time, but what if it is too good to be true? What if they’re sick? Or their parents are looking for them? Or… something else. Neji doesn’t deserve another heartbreak, and you don’t want to destroy the small amount of progress he’s made in the last month.

But for now, all you can do is heat up the bottle.

…

“Here, it’s a good temperature, I already checked,” you pass Neji the bottle. He checks it again anyway and you can’t help but smile at how overprotective and parental he's being. It's so bittersweet to see him like this.

“Here you go sweetheart, just for you,” Neji smiles, cradling the pup as they latch onto the bottle with fervour. “Shh, shh, shh, slow down, it’s not going anywhere.”

Neji feeds the pup and then burps them, and you pretend you can’t see him smiling when he notices that they are starting to smell like him. You need to know you can keep her before you let him get even more attached.

“I’m going to send a clone for a medic, now.”

The room became tense all at once.

“They’re fine, I’m looking after them,” Neji protests.

“I know, and you’re doing a good job, but we still need a medic, Neji.”

Neji holds the pup more tightly to his chest, tucking an extra blanket around them. He's using the special blanket you had got commissioned for your pup. You can feel your heart break at the sight. He's already attached. Now you just have to hope you can keep them. For his sake.

“I don’t want them to take the pup away like last time,” Neji admits softly. "I can look after them, I won't let anything happen like last time, I promise. They'll be safe, we don't need a medic."

“We need to know their primary and secondary gender, omega, and we need to make sure they aren’t sick after being left in the woods…”

Neji hesitates but nods his consent in the end after you explain that your pup could become ill if left untreated. You don’t tell him that you are also sending a clone to the Hokage. Naruto will be able to grant you and Neji the right to keep the pup, and you hope that as Neji’s friend, he’ll be able to see how much he needs this.

…

You have to move Neji and the pup downstairs to wait for the medic, because Neji would not appreciate someone unknown seeing his nest he made for his pup. He’s not expecting Naruto to show up as well so you go to the door to intercept and prep them both.

“Thank you so much for coming, Naruto, I can’t tell you how much this means to me and Neji,” you say, hugging him as he walks through the door.

“I’m going to do everything I can,” he promises. “If the medic finds signs of long-term neglect, I can take the parental rights away from the biological parents straight away, even if I don't know who they are, and transfer you the rights.”

Your face visibly brightens, but Naruto continues.

“But if the only injuries are from laying in the forest for a few hours, I’ll have to try and find the parents first, because the child may have been taken from them by force, when the pup was otherwise a healthy baby being looked after sufficiently. In that circumstance, I’ll have to take the child back with me and put them in foster care until a three-month window has passed. And if the parents are found…”

“I know,” you sigh. “Let’s just get this done as soon as possible.”

The three of you walk into the living to see Neji cradling the pup tightly against his chest.

“Hey Neji,” Naruto greets softly with a sad smile. “I haven’t seen you around for a while.”

Neji tenses upon seeing Naruto.

“Naruto? Why are you here?” Neji clearly misinterprets the situation, holding the pup even more tightly and turning accusatory eyes against you. “Why did you bring him here?”

“I’m here to determine whether the pup was abandoned or kidnapped to the best of my abilities, once we have that done, we can decide how things are going to happen, okay?”

“How do you decide that?” Neji asks with distrustful eyes.

“The medic will give them a check-up, completely routine, I promise,” Naruto speaks with a soft voice like he’s talking to a cornered animal. Well, you look at Neji for a moment who is coiled as tightly as spring, he’s not far off.

It takes about five minutes for you to convince Neji to let go of the pup and hand them to the mednin, and then the next fifteen minutes involve you holding him in your arms to stop him wrestling the pup back from the mednin.

And then, rather ominously, the mednin pulls Naruto aside to talk.

Neji is shaking in your arms.

“It’s okay, calm down, Neji,” you try to comfort him.

“I can’t-“ Neji chokes, hands fisting in your shirt. “He has our pup, you let them take our pup.”

You don’t bother to correct him on his use of ‘our’, knowing it would only upset him more.

“I know baby, but they need to see that they’re healthy, nothing’s wrong, just breathe.”

Neji doesn’t take your advice.

"Last time they took them-"

"This isn't like last time, omega. Come one, try and settle down a little, that's it."

...

Naruto eventually walks back in, holding the pup securely, the mednin nowhere to be seen.

“So,” Naruto says seriously. And then his face breaks out into a wide grin. “Am I right in thinking you want to adopt?”

You can almost feel your relief in the air. Thanking every power that be for this stroke of luck. Losing this pup could have easily meant losing your mate, and the gravity of the situation all comes crashing down at once. Neji looks as though he is feeling much the same.

“Give me them,” he orders, arms out.

“Her,” Naruto corrects. “The mednin said she’s a female alpha.”

Tears start welling up in Neji’s eyes as he takes her. Their bio pup was a female alpha, too.

“Thank you,” he whispers to no one, holding his new pup as tightly as he dared. “I’ve got you now, you’re safe and sound with me, I won’t let anything hurt you ever again.”

Naruto slips out of the house without a fuss, dropping the mednin’s recommendations for feeding the underweight pup on the coffee table.

...

You and Neji take your new pup upstairs and bundle her back into the nest. Neji lays down with her, stroking her cheek as he watches her sleep.

“You need to get some rest too, omega,” you suggest, running a hand down Neji’s back.

“Guard?” he asks in response.

“Yes," you smile at his protective instincts. "I’ll guard the nest while you sleep, I promise.”

“Okay, alpha…” Neji settles down, still with one hand resting on the pup. “But if I don’t wake up when she cries, wake me… I want to be the one to feed her.”

You laugh gently, “Of course, now get some sleep. I’ll guard you both.”

#neji x reader #omega!neji #alpha!reader #alpha reader #a/b/o #omegaverse #tw:grief #reader insert #headcanons #naruto #alpha x omega #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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alrightberries · 3 years

Text

“may i?”

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: fluff & angst. ❈ word count: 8k

❈ summary: you’re the medic assigned to take care of captain levi as he heals from the explosion. you’re also the only person he tolerates.

alternatively: in which you create prosthetics for humanity’s most war torn soldier.

❈ trigger warnings: manga spoliers. profanity. mentions of violence, blood, gore, and death. mentions of sexual themes.

a/n: levi’s kinda ooc bc i couldn’t write the progress of his relationship with reader without making it longer than it already is. also this is medically inaccurate (re: healing time of broken bones and amputations) for the sake of the plot so pls no one throw hands.

Levi doesn't like looking at mirrors.

There was no tragic backstory behind his distaste for the reflective surface, no deeper meaning or hidden symbolism as one would expect from a man with his past. The reason behind it was simple: he just saw no reason to.

He wasn't vain, wasn't too concerned about his face, didn't care much to look at his physical appearance aside from when he had to cut his hair or get ready for the day to look presentable to his comrades. He knew he was attractive, and effortlessly so. The little letters and gifts he’d received from fans and admirers proved as much, and his title of “Humanity’s Strongest” only added to the appeal. Really, there was no reason for him to always be looking into a mirror.

But now... Levi simply couldn’t understand why that mindset had vanished. It was replaced with the fervor to always be staring at his own reflection— not out of vanity but out of disgust.

The disgust of staring at his mutilated face.

He warily lifts up the small mirror he held in his hand, features contorting into a grimace at the man staring back at him. Scars and cuts littered his cheeks— some deeper than others, but none as terrible as the long jagged scar that ran down the right side of his face. It started from his forehead and ended at his bottom lip, held together by ugly black stitches the medics had hurriedly sewn on him the second he got back to the base. His right eye was split in half, completely useless, completely blind; held together by the same black stitches that donned the ugliest scar of all.

And Levi couldn’t help but think that this man was hideous.

He was hideous.

Levi reaches out with his right hand to touch his scars out of habit. He feels his heart tighten when he realizes there’s only air where his fingers should be and he nearly breaks the small mirror he held in his good hand from how hard he was squeezing it.

The mirror makes a gentle clink as he sets it down onto the mahogany of his desk. Bitterly, he stares at his three fingered right hand. His pointer and middle finger were gone, nothing but pathetic stumps protruding from his knuckles where they used to be. It was still covered in bandages and a makeshift brace so he wouldn’t strain himself when he moved, but he knew it was useless. He couldn’t move those stumps even if he tried.

He probably should’ve been thankful to have made it out of that explosion alive— not unscathed, but alive nonetheless. Though Hange had tried cheering him up (“Look on the bright side, we can wear matching eyepatches now!”) he simply couldn’t find it in himself to celebrate coming back so... useless.

His writing was as legible as chicken scratches. His right eye spasmed in pain every time he blinked. He couldn’t even try to relearn how to use the ODM gear with his new circumstance, and he mentally curses out his orders to stay put and heal.

Too many things were lost, too many people, too many lives.

All because of that damned explosion.

All because of that damned bearded bastard.

Levi is pulled from his thoughts when three soft knocks reverberate throughout his otherwise quiet office, and he rushes to put his eyepatch on and hide the mirror in his desk drawer. He attempts to sit in what he hopes was a seemingly ‘professional’ position but his stiffness gives away his discomfort.

“Name and business.”

“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”

He feels himself release a breath he didn’t even know he was holding once he hears the voice. Your voice.

“Come in.”

The wooden door creaks open before it closes with a soft click, floorboards making minuscule sounds at the weight as you make your way to his desk. Levi pretends to look busy as his good eye scans the document he held in his hand.

The sound of porcelain clinking against porcelain grabs his attention.

“Brought you tea.” You murmured. “I figured it won’t be up to your standards again but I did try my best.”

Levi still doesn’t look up as you set the tray down on his desk, and his good hand reaches for the steaming cup to take a small sip. His eye twitches at the taste.

“If you were going to bring me shit tea anyway then why bother.”

He hears a gentle chuckle but doesn’t see the way you smile at his contradictory words and actions. He made no move to throw the “shit tea” away, something he was infamous for with teas that didn’t meet his standards. Instead, he keeps sipping, gently placing the cup down onto his table once he finished.

“I thought that maybe distracting you with terrible tea would keep your mind off me changing your bandages.” You explained, and Levi nods but doesn’t speak. When silence once again filled the room, interrupted only by the occasional crumple of documents you knew he wasn’t reading, you take it as your cue to pick up your pen and clipboard to start the checkup.

“Have you felt any discomfort or pain in any of your extremities such as your right eye or your right hand?”

“No.”

“Have you felt any throbbing or other sensations in any part of your body?”

“No.”

“Have you experienced any fevers, headaches, dizziness, or sudden spasms in any part of your body?”

“No.”

He hears you set your clipboard down and his skin tingles from your doubtful stare. He didn’t have to look to know it was there. He risks a glimpse at the papers attached to the wooden board in your hands but just as he expected, you didn’t write down any of his answers.

“Have you lied to any or all of the questions I’ve asked during your routine checkup for today?”

“...yes.”

A soft sigh escape through your nose and your eyebrows furrow in disappointment. “Captain, lying to your medic won’t get you to the battlefield faster. You’re of no use to anyone when you’re injured.”

Levi clicks his tongue at your reply but he holds his smart ass comments back. He knew you were right, and it infuriated him so much.

“Fine,” he grits out. “My right eye’s been twitching all day. The fucking stumps on my right hand don’t feel like stumps. It feels like I still have fingers there, and I know it’s complete bullshit since they were lying next to my face when they got blown off.”

His angry glance finally lands on you. “That the answer you were looking for, oh medic of mine?”

It was now your turn to click your tongue. “Not quite,” you mumble, writing down his answers onto the file in your hands. “Feeling your missing limbs even after they’re amputated is normal. It’s called phantom touch.”

You place the clipboard back onto his desk and reach into your pockets, pulling out pristine white gloves before gingerly putting them on.

“Your right eye still spasming though, that’s concerning.” You add. Your hands slowly reach out to his face, and Levi momentarily flinches away out of habit. But you made no move to touch him.

He eyes you warily, tense muscles relaxing even just the slightest as he sees your gentle stare.

“May I?” You ask softly, a caring smile on your face.

Levi only nods, not trusting his words, and he once again tenses up as he feels your hands unbuckle the leather straps of his eyepatch before setting it down onto his table. He keeps his bad eye shut.

Your hands are gentle as you touch his face, touch nothing but a soft caress in such a way that his tender stitches felt no pain. Your eyes are focused on his stitches, lacking any judgement or ill will, and Levi’s suddenly aware of how close you actually were to his face.

Your eyes were beautiful, he noticed. They always were. The little furrow in your eyebrows as you concentrated was cute, and the soft caress of your hands on his cheeks as you inspected his face felt... nice, and dare he even say relaxing. Momentarily, when he finally lets himself adjust to the atmosphere, he lets his tense muscles ease.

“Can you open your right eye, Levi?”

“Y-yeah.”

FUCK.

What the fuck.

Did he just fucking stutter?

Levi’s surprise is only painted on his face for a few mere seconds before he schools his expression back to one of stoicness and neutrality, and he prays to all the existing gods he knew of that you wouldn’t notice.

He risks another glance at you. One of your eyebrows is arched and the corner of your lip is quirked up in a small smirk, but you dared not comment on the captain’s speech mishap.

Fuck. So you did notice.

Before he could try to save face by dishing out some bullshit reprimand of being disrespectful for calling him by his name and not his title, the words die on his tongue as you lean in impossibly close and oh god your noses were almost touching, your eyes are even more beautiful up close, and what the fuck is—

“Captain,” you repeat. “Can you open your right eye please?”

Oh, right.

He doesn’t speak as he does what he was told. He feels his eye open but no vision comes to his senses.

“It’s looking... not so good.” He hears you mumble, face contorted into one of concern. “It’s actually looking pretty bad.”

Levi scoffs. “Not one to beat around the bush, are you.”

You roll your eyes, the small smile once again returning to your lips.

“How long have you been keeping the eyepatch on?” You ask. Your hands are holding his head in place now, grasp a little more firm but not enough to hurt.

“An hour at most.”

“Are you lying again?”

He sighs. “Yes.”

You nod but made no further comment, leaning back to grab the clipboard once more to write down your observations.

“So,” you start. “Are you going to tell me the truth or do I have to poke your bad eye?”

Levi’s lips turn into a frown at the notion. “I’ve kept it on the entire day. And I know you’re probably lying about poking my eye, but in case you’re not, no. I do not want you poking my eye.”

You nod your head again, writing more things down onto your little clipboard.

“You should let it breathe. Keep it on for an hour or two at most but take it off when you sleep. Too much friction with the eyepatch might cause irritation.”

As the consultation draws on, Levi tries (keyword: tries) to be as honest as he could. Not that he could be dishonest when you were so good at snooping out his lies, though. You were already used to his stubbornness.

He wasn’t lying, however, when he tells himself that his heartbeat did not speed up when your hands gently held his own as you changed his bandages and cleaned his amputation; he wasn’t lying when he tells himself that the tips of his ears were not burning a bright red, cheeks flushed as you asked him to take off his shirt; and he definitely wasn’t lying when he tells himself that his dick did not twitch in his pants when your hands caressed his abdomen and back, accidentally hitting sweet spots he didn’t even know existed, to inspect his still purple bruises and healing ribs.

Yeah, he definitely was not lying.

“Okay, I think we’re done for today.” You say cheerfully. “I’ll be back same time tomorrow for another checkup.”

He glances up as he finishes buttoning the last buttons on his shirt. The gloves from your hands are taken off and tucked back into your pockets, and you hand him a small vial full of pills.

“Take one of these, twice a day at most, whenever you feel pain in your right eye.”

“I’m not feeling any—“

“Sure you’re not.” You cut him off with a smile. “I believe you. But feel free to contact me for any pain or discomfort you feel at any time of the day. I’ll be more than glad to find you.”

Levi says nothing, opting to instead stare at you as you gather the now empty teacup and kettle, placing them back onto the tray along with your clipboard and pen.

“Oh, by the way.” You speak, walking towards the door and opening it. You don’t spare him another glance as you finish your sentence. “I don’t think I can prescribe any pills to lessen blood flow to your dick.”

The door shuts with a soft click behind you, and Levi’s momentarily mortified as he processes your words. He risks yet another glance, this time down to his lap.

Shit, he thinks before he sighs. His hands readjust the hard-on in his pants.

Nothing goes past your observant eyes.

“Name and business.”

“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”

“Come in.”

Levi doesn’t bother to look busy like he did last week, you noticed, because this time he was actually busy. Which was odd considering he was taken off paperwork duty until he could write again.

“What’re you up to?” You ask, setting the tray down onto his desk and pouring him a cup of tea. Your eyes curiously glance at the papers scattered about his usually clean desk, each filled with indiscernible writings of his name.

“Trying to write. I’m useless until I can.” He mumbles before he scoffs. “This would be easier if I had all my fingers.”

You nod along to his replies yet made no move to stop him. You picked up your pen and clipboard to write things down as well.

“You’re not supposed to be using your right hand, your amputation is still too tender.”

“Tch, what do you expect me to do then?”

“Uh... use your non-injured, complete left hand?”

Levi blinks at your words, and he has half a mind to slap his forehead for being dumb and not thinking of that. Which he undoubtedly would’ve done had you not pushed the steaming cup of tea closer to his sitting form.

“Have some tea. You look like you’re about to pop a vein.”

Your smart remark is met with silence and a steely glare, and surprisingly, as Levi drank the tea you prepared, he notices it’s not downright terrible.

“Your brew’s better.”

“Yeah. I finally took your advice of using a thermometer to get ‘the perfect temperature’ after you complained about my ‘shitty tea’ for the nth time that week.”

Levi hides his little smirk behind the teacup, silently reveling in his small triumph before setting it down. From the corner of his eye, he notices you eyeing something, and his heart drops as his gaze follows your own.

The mirror. He forgot to hide the mirror.

Discreetly (or as discreet as he could) he takes the mirror and shoves it back into his desk drawer. You had many questions, that much he knew, but he was thankful when you didn’t push it further.

“Shall we begin?” You ask instead.

“Yeah.”

“Name and business.”

“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”

“Come in.”

Levi’s been trying to write again, you surmised, as you glanced at his focused eyes and the tenseness of his shoulders. Scattered papers still littered his desk and he was still trying to write his name. This time though, you were relieved when you saw he was using his left hand.

“Finally took my advice?” You asked, pouring him a cup of tea.

“Regretting it.” He doesn’t look up from his task as he answers, something you noticed he always did. “It’s been three days since I took your advice and my handwriting’s shittier than it was then.”

You smile, hand reaching out to hold his incomplete one that was clenched into a fist on the desk. He immediately stops writing, opting to instead stare at your hand atop his before glancing up at you.

“What are you doing?”

“Making you relax. You might tear your stitches.”

He feels you give his hand a gentle squeeze, and the warmth of your hand is suddenly gone from his own. You reach for the cup of tea you prepared, and he wills his cheeks to not show his blush at the small gesture. You slide the teacup across the table.

“What makes you think holding my hand will make me relax?” He asks snarkily. He reaches for the tea with his good hand.

“Are you relaxed?”

Levi ponders the question in his mind, noticing how his muscles were no longer tense, his shoulders were now slumped down, and his eyebrows were no longer scrunched. He sips the tea.

“Your brew’s still shit.” He replies instead.

“Name and business.”

“Y/N L/N. I came here for your daily checkup.”

“Come in.”

Your head peaks out from behind his door as you enter, closing it with your foot and making your way to his desk. You were no longer surprised when you saw him still writing and scribbling messily at his desk as he’s done for days now, and you discreetly eye the papers as you pour him his tea.

“You don’t have to keep bringing me tea.” He comments, still focused on writing.

“I know.” You reply. “But how am I going to perfect your brew if I don’t practice?”

Levi glances up, and he raises his eyebrow as he sees you sat on his table, a cheeky grin on your face. He makes no move to scold you for being so casual in his office and instead reaches out to take a sip of the tea. He notices your expectant eyes, the grin on your face widening as he nods in approval.

“Your tea’s not bad today.”

“Really?! You think it’s good?”

“I said not bad, I didn’t say it was good.”

“Name and business.”

“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your daily checkup.”

“Come in.”

The first thing you noticed as you entered Levi’s office was, of course, the scattered paper around his desk, face focused as he continued to practice his writing. The second thing you noticed was that he was no longer using his left hand.

“It’s barely been two weeks. Did you give up already?” You ask as you pour his tea.

“I write better with my right hand.” He simply replies, not even glancing up as you slide him the beverage. He uses his good hand to reach out for the cup, silently preparing his tongue for another unpleasant attack.

He takes a sip and his eyebrows shoot up from surprise. The tea was... delicious, absolutely delicious, and Levi couldn’t find anything to complain about. The temperature was right, it wasn’t too bitter but wasn’t too sweet, and the aroma was delectable. He takes a sip once more to double check if his taste buds were deceiving him, but the second sip was just as good as the last.

His suspicious eye makes contact with yours, a shit eating grin painted on your face as you eagerly awaited his feedback. The porcelain makes a sound as he sets it down.

“You bought this from the tea shop across the barracks. That’s cheating.”

“For fuck’s sake!”

Three soft knocks reverberate through the door to Levi’s office. The captain hastily hides the papers with your name scribbled on, shoving them inside his desk drawer. A shiny glint catches his eye before he could close the shelf and he pauses as he realizes it was his mirror. He hadn’t taken it out in a while. He was always too distracted with criticizing your piss poor tea to even think about his appearance.

“Name and business.” He calls out, still eyeing the shiny object.

“Hange Zoe. Y/N asked me to do your daily checkup.”

Levi's eyes widened, heartbeat stopping for a second as he heard Hange’s voice. Where were you?

“Come in.” He closes the drawer as the door opens and Hange walks in.

Levi couldn’t help but notice that he was becoming uncomfortable the closer his friend got; skin prickling, hands sweating, his collar feeling a little too tight. Little by little getting more conscious of himself as Hange walked closer.

Was this what insecurity felt like?

He briefly wonders why he didn’t feel it with you, but his mind answers him with a simple fact: you were the only person who’s seen him mangled and bruised, and each time, you showed nothing but gentleness and care. Yet even with this knowledge, the notion that a person other than you would be doing his checkup today didn’t sit right with him.

He pushes his discomfort to the back of his mind, telling himself to remain objective. But it didn’t stop him from subconsciously adjusting his eyepatch and hiding his incomplete hand underneath the desk. He eyes the tray in Hange’s hands, spotting the kettle and teacup.

“I don’t want your shitty tea.”

Hange doesn’t look up as they pour him a cup, humming a tune Levi doesn’t recognize as they hand him the warm beverage.

“It’s not my shitty tea.” They reply. “It’s Y/N’s shitty tea. They made you a batch before they left for the mission.”

Levi’s good hand pauses for a brief second as he reaches for the cup, mind still processing the fact that Hange said Y/N and mission. You hadn’t mentioned anything to him, and since he wasn’t allowed paperwork duty until he could write legibly, he wasn’t aware of any missions.

“I see.” He takes a sip, and he immediately squints his eyes in doubt once his tongue caught taste of the flavor. “This isn’t Y/N’s tea.”

Hange looks up from the clipboard they were writing on, eyebrows are arched in curiosity. “What?”

“This isn’t Y/N’s tea. This is from the tea shop down the road.”

Hange’s confused face stays still for a few seconds, silently assessing whether Levi was being serious or not. A smile cracks on their face, turning into a grin as small chuckles left their lips, before finally turning into full blown laughter. The captain waits for the eccentric soldier to stop cackling and start explaining, but Hange’s answer only serves to confuse him more.

“Nice try, shorty. You crack me up.”

Levi ignores the remark about his height. “What do you mean?”

“Y/N owns the tea shop down the road. Made the recipe for the black tea you love so much, even.”

The captain’s good eye twitches, and if Hange notices, they don't comment. Levi takes a sip of the tea once more, a little more doubtful this time, before sighing in content as the drink makes its way down his throat.

“Why did Y/N go on the mission? I thought they were to be my caretaker until further notice.” He chooses to ask, placing the cup down and pretending to busy himself as he absentmindedly starts practicing his writing.

“Y/N is our topic medic, their skills are more valuable on the battlefield than in an office with you.” They reply, and the captain pretends that the truthfulness of the statement doesn’t sting the slightest.

“Besides,” Hange pulls out white gloves from their pockets, sliding the cloth over their hands to prepare for the checkup. “Y/N personally asked to be reassigned.”

Levi sputters and chokes on his tea at the sudden revelation, and he feels Hange’s hand patting his back as he tries to compose himself. You asked to be reassigned? But why?

“Why?” He manages to choke out before once more descending into a coughing fit. Hange silently hands him a napkin.

“They didn’t say.”

Perhaps you were done with his incessant criticizing of your tea making skills (if so, then why’d you keep brewing him a crappy batch? Clearly you could’ve made good tea whenever you wanted.) Perhaps you grew tired of watching over him everyday when you could’ve been attending to more injured soldiers in the medical wing or the battlefield. Or perhaps you felt a little cooped up in the office with him, hating that you were confined when you could’ve gone on missions to help the wounded.

Whatever your reason may be, Levi finally gets himself to stop coughing and wipes his mouth. Any questions he had, he would ask you. For now, he pushes his feelings to the back of his mind to ask a more important question.

“Why are you here and not on the expedition, Commander?”

Hange shrugs.

“I wanted to bond over eyepatches with you.”

Levi was trying, okay? He was really trying.

But god, the new caretaker assigned to him was nothing short of a complete and utter noob. His bandages were always either too loose or too tight, his touches every time he tried to inspect Levi’s scars were always an ironclad grip, and worst of all, his tea was pure and utter shit.

“Watch it!” Levi barks, and his caretaker jumps about two feet away from him at his yell. “What’re you trying to do?! Are you inspecting my broken ribs or trying to give me a broken rib?”

Oh, that too. His caretaker was the hands on type, something Levi wouldn’t have minded if not for the fact that his caretaker was also heavy-handed, and Levi had had enough of this bullshit.

“Stop it, just stop. Get out of my office, right now, and find me a new caretaker.”

“B-but, Captain, there’s no one else who can—“

His caretaker is cut off when he makes eye contact with the enraged captain. Levi’s eyebrows were knitted together in anger, and the glare on his left eye was nothing short of terrifying. The fact that he only had one good eye left did nothing to lessen the intimidation of his glare; if anything, it made it even more intimidating.

“I will not repeat my order. Go.”

The boy in front of him nods nervously, head bowed down and metaphorical tail tucked between his legs as he quickly scurries out of the room. Once Levi hears the soft click of the door shutting, he takes a deep breath and lets his body slump into his chair.

That was the fifth caretaker he’d kicked out this month. He wasn’t picky, he tells himself; he just had standards. Standards that apparently these damned amateurs they kept sending him couldn’t meet.

Briefly, his conscience contradicts him; the image of a certain top medic popping in his mind, one that he hadn’t spoken to in almost a month since they dropped him out of the blue. Maybe, just maybe, he was being picky. With a dash of passive aggressive and a sprinkle of butthurt. But Levi quickly brushes that thought aside when he remembers the incompetence of all his recent caretakers.

That was definitely it. He wasn’t petty, all his caretakers were simply idiots.

The captain hears three loud knocks on his wooden door, and he grits his teeth as he mentally prepares himself for whatever fuckery the clown caretaker they assigned to him was about to do this time. True to his words, Levi did end up breaking a rib from how heavy handed the last one was, and though he knew it was partially because his body was still quite fragile, it didn’t hurt his request for a new medic.

“Name and business.”

“Y/N L/N. I’m here to do your daily checkup.”

Levi feels his eyes widen and heart speed up, and he once again rushes to hide all the papers scribbled with your name as he shoves them into his desk drawer. He composes himself, trying to appear uninterested and professional as he speaks.

“Come in.”

The door squeaks open and Levi doesn’t bother to hide the way his eyes soften and his shoulders slump in relief as he sees the familiar sight of you. A soft smile dawned on your face as you gently kicked the door close, walking towards his desk and setting down the tray you held in your hands.

“Heard you fired everybody who came after me.” You mused, eyes teasing as you poured him a cup of tea. He didn’t think he’d miss someone pouring him a cup of tea as much as he did now.

“Their tea was shit.” He replies, taking a sip of the warm beverage and holding back his sputter at the god awful taste. “Yours is too.”

You chuckle, picking up the clipboard and pen to start writing for today’s checkup. “Can’t help that I suck at brewing tea.”

“You don’t have to keep making me shit tea anymore. The secret’s out.”

You freeze in your spot, eyes widening for a fraction of a second before you nervously clear your throat. Levi definitely noticed.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I know you own the tea shop, Y/N. Stop lying.”

You let out an irritated sigh. “Hange told you, didn’t they?”

“Yep.” He replies, popping the ‘p’.

I’m going to fucking kill Hange, you think to yourself, silently gathering your composure once more. Levi watches you intently, continuing to sip on the terrible tea before deciding that he’d assaulted his taste buds enough and placing it down.

“Why’d you do it?” You hear him ask. “And don’t lie to me. You’re not the only one who’s gotten better at spotting lies.”

Why’d you brew shitty him tea? Is he that affected by it?

Your reply was already on the tip of your tongue, head glancing up from your clipboard to say your answer. But your words don’t come out and your mind suddenly cleared when you saw the look in his eye.

Levi’s eyes were nothing short of gorgeous; a beautiful gunmetal gray with a gaze deadly enough to kill a man with one mere look. But right now, even though they were schooled into his usual look of disinterest, you could see him... wavering. A mix of unanswered questions, curiosity, and— for the briefest second you swore you saw— hurt.

“I take it you’re not asking me why I brewed you crappy tea for the past three months?”

Levi clicks his tongue in irritation. “No, you idiot. I’m asking you why you left out of the blue. If you had a problem you could’ve brought it up with me—“

“No!” You quickly interrupt. “No, god no, you’re perfect.”

The captain’s eyes widen, and you suddenly realize the words you’d spoken as you quickly try to explain before Levi could interject.

“There was no problem, okay? I didn’t request to be reassigned because I had a problem. It’s quite the opposite, actually.” You murmur.

He eyes you curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“I think I have a solution. May I?” You gesture, asking if you could sit on his desk. Levi nods, not understanding why you needed permission now when you’ve done it of your own volition countless times before, but he suddenly understands when you sit directly in front him and not across from him like you usually would.

He watches as you pull a small brown box from your jacket, placing it down onto his desk before opening it. Levi is quiet as he eyes the item inside.

“It’s just a prototype for now. I was hoping to carve out a better one in my free time, one that would be a custom fit, but my free time kinda went flying out the window when you started firing people left and right until no one would accept you but me.”

You pick up the wooden prosthetic fingers and gently place them onto his desk. Your hand opens palm up, waiting for Levi to be comfortable enough to lend his hand to you, and he does so silently.

“The prosthetic’s made from redwood and the joints are connected by small metal rods. It’s light and durable, and I weatherproofed it so it wouldn’t break down so easily when you use them.” You explain, unwrapping the bandages around his hand. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out the concept, actually. I just took a pair of standard issue Survey Corps gloves and cut out all the fingers. Then, y’know, attached the wooden fingers to where the pointer and middle should be.”

Levi could only nod. You weren’t sure if his silence was good or bad and you couldn’t read his look. But Levi— Levi was speechless. In his mind, he dared not speak in fear of looking like a fool. Especially not in front of the person who gave back a piece of himself (quite literally, at that.)

He tenderly looks at the way you fitted the prosthetics onto his own hand, fastening brown leather straps around his wrists to secure the glove. The minute the glove is on and he sees all five fingers for the first time since the explosion, he feels like he’s about to cry.

“I had Hange help me with the anatomy so you could still bend them as you would normal fingers. I couldn’t figure out how to make them move on their own though, so you’d have to manually do that yourself.”

To demonstrate, you bend one of the prosthetics, the wood imitating the bend of his finger but not springing back up despite his brain commanding it to do so. You watch intently as he fumbles around with his hand, moving the fingers about. The wonder and astonishment in his usually unimpressed eye didn’t go unnoticed by you, and it spurred you to continue on.

“Unfortunately, it’s not strong enough to flick the switches on ODM gear. You still have to relearn how to hold your blades when you’re cleared for training again.” You say regrettably. “But it’s strong enough to hold a pen.”

Your hand reaches for the forgotten quill across his desk, dipping it in the inkwell before offering it to him with a small smile. Levi slowly takes it, still speechless, as he readjusts his prosthetic to hold the quill and write.

His writing is still shit, undoubtedly; still no better than chicken scratches as he messily writes down the words. But god, the sight of the indiscernible handwriting next to five fingers brought tears to his eyes as he finally finished writing his name. The slightly legible letters of ‘Levi Ackerman’ stared back at him.

Levi couldn’t hold it back anymore. He immediately set the quill down before standing up to engross you in a warm embrace. You tense in his arms, not used to Levi willingly initiating any form of physical touch at all. But as he tucks his head into the curve of your neck and his shoulders start shaking, splotches of wet dripping onto your collarbones, you feel your arms encircle his waist, bringing him closer as you whisper sweet nothings into his ear and let him cry in peace.

Your hands ran through his scalp, willing him to calm down. Though normally the sight of a crying Captain Levi was something you never thought you’d see, you couldn’t help but feel honored he chose to share this rare moment of vulnerability with you.

You let him cry, still holding onto him, giving him his time. Briefly, you wonder what he was thinking. What pushed him to tears? Did the captain ever let himself mourn his losses? Does he mourn his friends, his family, the little pieces of himself that he’d lost along the way?

Though you had a million questions in your mind you dared not pry as you continued to comfort the weeping man in front of you.

Finally, after a few moments of nothing but silent sniffles and your sweet words, Levi finds it in himself to finally speak.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

Night had fallen around the base, encasing the world in darkness that beckons slumber. Levi continued to stay awake, still in his office, staring at the prosthetic you had given him hours before.

Curiously, he feels himself form his right hand into a fist, not surprised that the two wooden fingers didn’t comply like the rest. It was imperfect and he himself thought it could use some tiny adjustments for the sake of comfort— something he definitely would bring up to you as requested.

And yet, despite knowing his ‘fingers’ were nothing but wood, leather and metal, he couldn’t help but think it was the best thing he could ever ask for.

Silently, under the lone glowing light of his oil lamp, Levi pulls out a blank sheet of paper and begins to turn his feelings into thoughts, thoughts into words, and words into sentences as his quill meets the white surface.

Hours later, he finds himself in front of your quarters, a candle in his left hand while his right held a pristine white envelope. The envelope containing unsaid words, unspoken wishes, and hidden feelings.

Your eyes are sleepy when you answer the door, half lidded and hair a mess when his knocks had woken you from your slumber. You rub your eye, adjusting to the light as you stare at the person in front of you.

“Captain?” You ask, stifling a yawn. “What’re you doing here so late?”

He doesn’t answer your question. Instead, he opts to look at you with an unreadable expression as he asks, “Can I come in?”

You stare at him for a few seconds more, and the thought of you slamming the door on his face crossed Levi’s mind; but that didn’t happen. Rather, you nodded and ushered him inside your bedroom, closing the door behind him as you once again flopped onto your bed.

He places the candle down on your bedside table and now he was unsure what to do. He had a plan— or, he thought he had a plan— but awkwardly standing in your room in the middle of the night wasn’t part of it.

Quietly, you chuckle at the sight of Humanity’s Strongest looking so odd and out of place, unsure and slightly panicked. You pat the spot next to you, inviting him to sit, and he complies.

Both of you had your knees pulled up to your chests and you were thankful when you noticed Levi had taken his shoes off before sitting on the bed. A comfortable silence encompasses the atmosphere in the dimly lit room. Shoulders touching, heads not daring to turn because of the close proximity.

From the corner of your eye, Levi looked like he was deep in thought. Not the kind you saw plenty of times in the battlefield or in strategy meetings, not the kind you saw when you entered his office as he hastily tried to hide his mirror. But the kind you saw when he quietly suffered through his own living hell.

“Couldn’t sleep?” you ask, finally breaking the silence. He shakes his head.

“Well, what brings the mighty Captain Levi to my humble little room?”

“Levi.”

“What?”

“Call me Levi.” He murmurs, downcast staring intently at the envelope on his lap. “In this room, I’m not your captain. I’m not your patient. I’m not Humanity’s Strongest.”

You feel your eyebrows scrunch as surprise and curiosity paint your face, but not because of the captain’s offer to call him so casually. No— the surprise you showed was because he unclasped the prosthetic you made, not even sparing it a second glance as he carelessly threw it to you, and you barely managed to catch the limbs you’d spent countless hours and sleepless nights to create.

“Levi, what are you—“

“But I’m not a broken teacup for you to fix either.” He says, eyeing the stumps on right hand. “I’m not a doll who’s missing some parts. I’m not a charity case accepting donations.”

You were looking at him now, head turned in his direction as he unclasps his eyepatch and lets it fall onto his lap. He raises his head, eyes making contact with yours.

“I’m just Levi.”

A few moments of silence pass but neither of you look away. The reason why the captain continued to stare wasn’t something you knew. But the reason why you never looked away was because of his eyes.

Levi’s eyes were still as gorgeous as you remembered them to be. Though his right eye was a different shade from his left, a lighter and paler shade of gray; though it lacked the light and emotions his unharmed eye bore; though it had a jagged scar running through it from where he was hit, you couldn’t help but think that his eyes were still the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen.

Gingerly, you lift up your hand to touch the right side of his face where his battle wounds lie, the prosthetic forgotten as it falls somewhere in the sheets. He doesn’t flinch like he did the first few times you did it, when you reached for his face during checkups to inspect his scars. But it didn’t stop you from asking.

“May I?”

Levi doesn’t answer. Instead, he brings your hand to rest on his cheek as his head leaned closer to your touch. His eyes closed momentarily, almost as if he were reveling in your warmth. But they opened once more, and you willed yourself not to get lost in the sea of gray.

“You were never a charity case to me, Levi. Or any of the things you just said.”

“Then what am I to you?”

Your heart stops, eyes widening ever so slightly at his question. Would you tell him? No, you couldn’t. Not when—

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N.” His grip on your hand tightens a bit, not enough to hurt but enough to distract you from your thoughts. You realize the hand that held your own against his cheeks was his broken hand, his mutilated hand.

...would you really tell him?

You sigh, eyes finally leaving his. “You’re just another soldier who got hurt from a battle, asking a medic to take the pain away.”

Your hand slips out of his grip and goes back to your side, and you turn away from him once more.

“Are you lying?” He asks.

“No.”

“Then look into my eyes and tell me what I am to you.”

“I can’t.”

Your voice cracks ever so slightly, hesitant but determined to stick to your words. And Levi knew that he was never going to get an answer. He sighs, shoulders slumping down in defeat. It was now his turn to look away from you, gaze falling to his lap. The envelope holding the letter crinkles and he’s reminded why he’s here.

“I know.” He whispers back. “But do me a favor.”

He doesn’t look your way as he hands you the letter. He doesn’t look your way when you silently took it, eyeing the red wax seal that bore his initials, fingers tracing over the edges before—

“Don’t open it yet. Open it tomorrow morning before you come in for my checkup.”

You only nodded in response. You reached out, placing the envelope on your bedside table before once again sitting next to Levi. Just as you had started, a comfortable silence blankets the atmosphere. Shoulders touching, heads not daring to turn because of the proximity.

But this time, it was he who breaks the silence.

“I don’t know what the future holds.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t know what the future holds.” He repeats. “I could die in action tomorrow and be one of the bodies they wheel back from war, or you could die trying to save someone in the battlefield. Even if neither of us die tomorrow, there’s always a possibility that we’ll die the day after that. And the day after that and the day after that. Such are the risks of our jobs.”

He takes a deep breath. “But tonight, I don’t want to focus on tomorrow. I don’t want to focus on what the future holds. I don’t want to focus on titans or enemy troops or looking after my team.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.”

Your eyes soften. “But what am I to you?”

You didn’t know what to expect, what his answer may be. But you know you didn’t expect it when Levi’s fingers gently grabbed your chin and coaxed your head to look in his direction. You didn’t expect it when you opened your eyes and met his, his warm palm resting on your cheek. And what you didn’t expect most was for his eyes to look at you with so much love, so much care and adoration. Gone were the facades of boredom and disinterest; the stoicness and detachment they always seemed to reflect. All there was left was softness, warmth, and what seemed to be the unmistakable swirls of vulnerability.

“You’re just another medic too busy putting other peoples’ lives before your own.”

“Are you lying?”

“No.” He whispers. “But you make me want to plan for a future I know we won’t have— a future we can’t have.”

And for the first time, you knew he meant it. You knew what he meant.

In your line of work full of death and violence and risks almost too big to take. In what you once thought was your little world, turning out to be too big for you to handle. In your personal brand of hell where tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed, and loss was the only constant— it was enough. This small moment was enough.

“You have the most beautiful eyes.” You whispered, entranced. A soft chuckle leaves Levi’s lips, eyes turning into crescent moons so fitting of his gray orbs and your heart twitches at the sight and sound of his melodious laughter.

His thumb brushes over your cheek and your eyes meet his once again, the beautiful shades of gray staring you back. You didn’t know who did it first but at this point you didn’t care enough to find out because slowly, you both leaned in. Slowly, you both closed your eyes. And slowly, you both tilted your heads.

He pauses.

“May I?” Levi asks, lips merely inches away from yours. You nod.

“You may.”

And suddenly, the distance between your lips was no more.

There were no fireworks, no explosions in your heart or butterflies in your belly. There was no feeling of cloud nine, no feeling of want or need. There was only warmth in your chest, the feeling of a small fireplace crackling and glowing in the coldness of the night. The feeling of warm sheets and warm bodies cuddled up in an embrace.

Home.

The feeling of home.

Because that’s what you were to Levi, and what Levi was to you.

“Name and business.”

“Y/N L/N. I’m here for your routine checkup.”

“Come in.”

As the door opens and you set the tray down on his desk, hands gently holding the kettle to pour him his cup of tea, you noticed that Levi was still trying to write. But what caught your attention wasn’t the fact that it was no longer his name he tried to scribble, opting to write down complete sentences. What caught your attention was that he was wearing his prosthetics, and his eyepatch wasn’t on.

“Did you read the letter?” He asks. His hands were still writing and his eyes were still staring at the papers in front of him. But you could tell he was anxious.

“Yes.” You simply reply, and he nods.

“Good.”

If you want to be added to the tag list, click this link!

#the bit where levi visits oc #is my favorite part to write #and the lil banter at the start too #i love banter but i also love sweet little words #this is proof that i can be romantic without calling someone a dumbass #writing #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman imagine #levi imagine #snk x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk imagine #shingeki no kyojin imagine #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan imagine #aot imagine

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kitazura · 4 years

Note

Um hi I just found your blog ur a really could writer um could I request like a cuddle movie night with Atsumu,Sakusa and Bokuto (and if u have a anon list could I be 🦊 anon)

watch a movie with miya atsumu, sakusa kiyoomi, & bokuto kōtarō 0.2k words each

note: hi 🦊 anon!! you can absolutely have some cuddly movie night scenarios with the boys <3 aa im sorry it took so long for me to post i had to rewrite this like 4 times bc i didn’t like how my drafts turned out LMAO but i hope u enjoy!

— ATSUMU

His fingers have been fiddling with your hair for the past two hours, and you’re sure the section he’s been toying with has turned into a bird’s nest. Not that you have any right to complain, anyway; your head’s on his chest, and your hand grasps the fabric of his shirt, the strength of your grip changing according to the intensity of the events playing out onscreen.

The movie’s finally arrived at the big, climactic fight scene. You grab onto Atsumu’s shirt like your life depends on it, holding your breath in suspense. He thinks it’s cute, the way your eyes are wide and twinkly from the glow of the tv. He’s almost content to leave you in peace, but he can never pass up the chance to tease.

“Y’know, by the time this is over, I don’t think any amount of ironing is gonna get these wrinkles out, what with all your grabbing.” His smirk blooms into a chuckle as you tear your eyes away from the screen to glare at him, albeit insincerely.

“As if you iron your clothes in the first place,” you shoot back. Well, you got him there.

Defeated, he lets you return to your attention to the movie, pressing an apologetic kiss to the crown of your head when you grumble about having to rewind it to see what he made you miss.

— SAKUSA

You have to stifle your giggle when you steal a glance at your boyfriend. Sakusa’s brows are knit in concentration, eyes glued to the screen. He notices your amusement nonetheless, giving you a questioning look.

“What is it? Did I miss a joke?”

You shake your head. Truthfully, you’re not paying much attention to the movie, finding more entertainment in the expressions Sakusa makes as he watches, so the answer you give him is pretty baseless.

You cozy up further into his side, mumbling, “You’re warm.”

He turns even warmer, his face flushing at your absentminded comment. The arm he has wrapped around your shoulders gives you a gentle squeeze, pulling you impossibly closer to him. You put your head on his shoulder, and he rests his head on yours. You hear him let out a breath and take it for a sigh of content. (He’s really just resisting the urge to sneeze; your hair is tickling his nose, but he doesn’t want to ruin the moment.)

Half an hour passes; Kiyoomi’s gotten so caught up in the movie that he doesn’t notice you’ve fallen asleep until your head nearly lolls off his shoulder. He’s quick to catch you, and makes a mental note to move as little as possible.

Pulling the blankets up to your chin, he begins to think about how to summarize the movie once you wake up.

— BOKUTO

“Oh, oh! it’s almost time for his confession.” Bokuto’s voice is oddly hushed, not wanting to break the quiet. “I never get tired of it.”

“Yeah, you also don’t get tired of crying every time it comes on” you reply playfully. Unlike him, you speak at a normal volume.

You reach over to the popcorn bucket in his lap, which he instinctively tilts towards you. “By the way,” you say through a mouthful of popcorn, “why are you whispering? We’re at home.”

“For the ambience, duh.” Bokuto rolls his eyes at you as if it’s the most obvious thing. You can’t help but laugh and cup his face in your hands, pulling him in for a kiss. He obliges, pecking your lips, your cheeks, and one more on your nose before settling back down.

There’s a beat of silence before he asks, “I used the word ‘ambience’ correctly, right?”

You pinch his cheek endearingly. “Yeah, you did.”

He beams with pride before shushing you, buzzing with anticipation as the confession scene begins.

You must have watched this movie a million times by now, and have replayed the confession thrice as much. Unsurprisingly, Bokuto’s got it memorized; you can hear him saying the words with the actor onscreen, matching the emotions in his tone.

You turn to tease him, only to find that he’s looking at you intently, eyes shining with sincerity as he quotes the last few words:

“So I can say to you now, with absolute certainty, that I am irrevocably in love with you.”

— postscript

i am a sap. a Sap!!!! honestly i pulled bokuto’s quote from one of my scrapped fics lolol the venn diagram of the characteristics of 12 year old me and 17 year old me is a circle. but anyway !! mayhaps ill get some fics out soon hehe

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #sakusa x reader #bokuto x reader #atsumu fluff #sakusa fluff #bokuto fluff #chel.chats #🦊 <3

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cupidhaos · 3 years

Text

just how much i love you

pairing: hong jisoo x gn reader

word count: 3.2k

genre: fluff, slice of life, established relationship, non idol au

summary: you recall each time you realized just how much joshua loved you and decide to return the favor

warnings: mentions of illness

song rec: better | jeremy passion

a/n: YOOO im a day late i meant to post this yesterday for shuas bday but then it completely slipped my mind and i forgot that time was a thing and i was like CRAP so then i was like u know what ill post it tmrw bc i mean its technically still his bday and hes a from america so it still counts anyways enjoy this tooth rotting fluff

you already knew that joshua meant the world to you - yet there are just some certain moments that come to mind when you think back on it.

one of the first moments that you thought of was when he was playing the guitar.

“whatcha writing down there?” you ask curiously as you leaned over joshua’s shoulder, trying to take a peek at whatever he was scribbling down on his journal. as you rest your chin on his shoulder, you wrap another arm around his neck. a silent chuckle leaves joshua’s lips as he slowly closes the book - pushing it off to the side “nothing that you need to know of just yet”

pouting, a whine leaves your lips as you shake his shoulders back and forth “aw c’mon shuaaa - you’ve been sitting here all day playing your guitar and you won’t even let me know what you’re doing”

he moves to the side a little so that he was able to get a good look of your face. setting his guitar down on the table in front of him, he motions for you to sit down with him. once he realizes you won’t budge as long as that pout on your lips was there, he stands up to wrap an arm around your waist - pulling you over the couch as you loudly yelped in surprise.

joshua places you onto his lap as he sits back down. securely wrapping his arms around your waist as he looks up at you with large, apologetic eyes “i’m sorry - were you getting lonely without me?” he teases.

all you could do was scoff in response which joshua just laughs at. its quiet for a second before he speaks up again “i can’t let you see it just yet. it’s a surprise”

“can i at least have a hint?”

he smiles at your question, reaching over to grab his guitar that he left on the table. he places it on your lap, leading your hands to hold onto it with his own. you were glad he wasn’t able to see the blush that covers your cheeks as he guided your hands to the guitar chords.

leaning over your shoulder to look at your hands, you can feel his hot breath graze your neck, which causes goosebumps to spread through your body “place your finger right here on this chord, and just strum lightly - exactly like that”

after teaching you a couple more chords, he pulls his hands away from yours, causing a wave of disappointment to wash over you. turning to look up at him, you give him a curious look “what was that for?”

he just shrugs as he moves himself towards the end of the couch, a sly smile on his face the entire times. opening up his notebook, he starts skimming through the pages “just chords for the song that i’m writing”

“song?”

“mhm - for you”

your face immediately turns red at his response “what?! you’re writing me a song?! why!”

he gives you a look of genuine confusion “do i need any other reason asides from the fact that i love you? anyways - it’s not ready yet so you’re just gonna have to wait” was all he said before getting up and leaving.

“wait! you can’t just say that and leave!” you call out after him as he laughs.

“i just did!”

that was the first time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“y/n… whats that in your jacket?”

you freeze from where you stood in the tiny apartment that the two of you shared. it was raining outside, and you were drenched from head to toe. joshua gives you a questionable look as he crosses his arms, cocking up one of his eyebrows.

you slowly look up as you clutch your jacket to your chest, a dumb look on your face “my jacket? theres nothing in it other than me, myself and i” you reply back. his eyes squint towards you as you try your best to avoid his gaze “you sure?”

as you open your mouth to respond, you were cut off with a bark coming from inside of your jacket. moments later, a small puppy pops up from your jacket - wiggling its way out of your arms and jumping onto the floor. a sheepish look covers your face as you lean down to pick up the puppy “okay maybe i was lying”

joshua doesn’t even look shock at the news, only a tired sigh coming from his lips “i thought you were going to get groceries”

you kick your shoes off and you hold the puppy closer to your chest “i know i said that but! look at him shua! isn’t he so cute!” you ask him as you walk towards your boyfriend. he looks down towards you and the dog in your arms as he chuckles “you know that you can’t just pick up stray dogs and bring them home right?”

your shoulders slump at his reply, a pout forming on your lips “i mean i know that… but he was all alone in the rain and he looked so sad… i couldn’t just leave him there!”

he nods in understanding, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer “i know you had good intentions - but have you ever considered that our little friend has an owner already?”

turning towards the side, you pull the dog in closer “well they just left him outside all alone in the rain they’re obviously not a good owner” you say under your breath.

joshua points towards the dogs neck “isn’t that a collar? have you checked if they belonged to someone?”

“no… but!”

“we can’t just steal someone else’s dog - they may be upset right now”

a sigh leavings your lips as you lean forward to rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder “i know… but he’s just so cute!”

“i know he is, but he isn’t our dog. how about this - after we return him lets go to the shelter and see if we can get our own?”

you gasp loudly as you quickly turn to look up at him, eyes wide and filled with hope “really! do you mean it!”

joshua nods, a soft smile on his face “of course - but we still have to return him first okay?”

you nod your head quickly, noticing the fond smile that joshua aims towards you “what? what is it?”

all he does is shake his head, brushing off the question “nothing, you just look really cute right now” is what he tells you - quickly causing your face to heat up. he places a hand on your forehead as he leans in close, causing your breath to hitch.

“you feel warm - lets go change your clothes before we go back out. we wouldn’t want you getting sick do we?” he tells you as he pulls you on your head, dragging you towards your bedroom. you just nod shyly in response to his question as he laughs quietly at your reaction.

that was the second time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“joshua stay back! i don’t want you to catch -” you suddenly stop your sentence as you felt a sneeze coming up. quickly burying your face into your elbow, you let out a loud sneeze. joshua shakes his head at you as he pushes you back down onto the bed “shh, just let me take care of you”

feeling weak, you’re unable to even fight back “you’re always taking care of me though - it’s my fault that i got sick in the first place…”

joshua nods his head in agreement despite the offended scoff that leaves your lips “it is in fact your fault. i told you to dress warmly and bring an umbrella, and what did you do?”

“i didn’t dress warmly…”

“what else?”

“or bring an umbrella when it rained…”

he hums in acknowledgment as you places a wet towel on your forehead “i would say i told you so, but i think that you’ve learned your lesson”

a small frown appears on your face as joshua continued to scold you. you open your mouth to say something, but felt a pang in your head, causing a look of discomfort to now show on your face. a flash of worry appears on joshua’s features as you groan in pain “take it easy okay? don’t push yourself” he tells you as he hands you some medicine.

you place in the medicine in your mouth as you reach for the water, joshua’s already one step ahead of you. he brings the water up to your lips before you can even protest, helping you drink. once he pulls the cup away, you frown immediately “you don’t need to take care of me - you’ll get sick too”

he just shrugs at your comment though as he places the cup back down “i’m your boyfriend - why wouldn’t i take care of you?”

you’re about to retort back before he cuts you off with a quick kiss on the lips. you gasp loudly as you look at him in horror “joshua!”

joshua just laughs at your reaction “you can pay me back when i get sick by taking care of me. besides - if i wasn’t here to take care of you who would be?”

you’re unable to think of a response as joshua wraps his arms around you to pull you in for a hug “don’t worry y/n - i’ll always be there to take care of you” he reassures, causing your shoulders to relax.

a week later, joshua catches your cold.

“i told you that this would happen.” you scold him as you bring a spoon of soup up to his lips. he just smiles cheekily at you as he sits warm in bed “i told you you’ll be paying me back. but you don’t need to take care of me either - i was just joking really”

a light laugh leaves your lips at his comment. you place the bowl down and turn to look at him, grabbing his face with your hands “and like you said - i’ll always be there to take care of you too”

his face turned from surprised to one filled with adoration quickly as he gives you a toothy smile “then we’ll be taking care of eachother until we’re old and wrinkly”

that was the third time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“did you make these cookies yourself y/n?” seungcheol asks as him and jeonghan take a bit out of the cookies that you just baked. you nod your head excitedly as you await for their responses “i did! what do you think?”

before anyone could say anything, jeonghan opens his mouth to spit out the cookie “what did you even put in this? poison?”

you frown at his comment as you turn to look at seungcheol “they can’t be that bad!” you retort, but the look of disgust on seungcheol’s face tells you otherwise. he places the bitten cookie back down as he looks at you with wariness “why is it… so salty…”

“what are you even talking -” you start off as you grab a cookie from the cooling rack, but you stop yourself once you take a bite - a bitter taste of salt filling up your mouth. you quickly spit it back out as you now understand what your friends meant “why is it so salty!”

jeonghan shakes his head at you as he picks up one of the cookies to inspect it “maybe you put in the wrong ingredient when you were making it?” this comment makes you gasp as you come to realize your mistake.

“i think i mixed up the salt and the sugar!”

both of your friends give you looks of pity as you drop your head into your hands “this is horrible how am i supposed to give them to joshua now! i spent the last three hours for nothing!” you groan. seungcheol claps his hands together as he thinks of an idea “i know! lets throw them away before he gets home! then he’ll never know of your failure!”

raising your head from your hands, you give seungcheol a deadly glare which causes him to freeze in his chair “was it necessary to say it like that”

before any other ideas are thrown, the sound of the front door opening is heard - causing the three of you to panic.

“i’m home!” a familiar voice calls out, and before any of you were able to even touch the cookies - joshua has already entered the kitchen “oh! seungcheol! jeonghan! what are you two doing here?”

“well you see, y/n here wanted us to try her oh so amazing and delicious cookies that she’s worked so hard on” jeonghan explains, a devilish look in his eyes. seungcheol sighs once he realizes what jeonghan was planning and joshua just looks surprised.

he turns to you with a curious look on his face, glancing back down at the cookies on the cooling rack “you made cookies y/n?” he questions and all you can do was nod sadly “i was planning on surprising you with them when you came home but -”

“y/n spent hours working on these wonderful cookies just for you shua - why don’t you try some?” jeonghan presses on to which joshua nods. you glare at jeonghan who just gives you mischievous look back. as joshua reaches over and grabs a cookie, panic settles inside of you,

“look you really don’t have to -”

“these are great!”

you pause from where you stood and jeonghan and seungcheol both have the same confused look on their faces as you. joshua gives you a genuine smile as he takes another bite out of the cookie in his hand.

“they’re - wait what did you say?”

he nods as he continues to eat it - no sign of hesitation or lie on his face “you did great on them baby! thank you for the cookies” he tells you, leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead. you just stand there confused as he ultimately finishes up the cookie before grabbing another one.

jeonghan and seungcheol share a look with each other before turning back to joshua.

“you really think they’re good?” seungcheol asks warily which joshua nods in response to “of course i do - anything that y/n makes from scratch is good”

you felt your heart flutter at his response as you just stare up at him with wide eyes. jeonghan stares at joshua intently as he watches him eat another cookie “don’t you think theres anything off about it? maybe it tastes a little - salty?”

joshua pauses from eating the cookie and you hold your breath as you wait for his response. he just shakes his head though as he continues to eat the rest of the cookie “hm, its a little bit salty - but i still like it anyways”

as he finishes off the salt cookie, he excuses himself and tells you that hes going to go change first and be right back. you nod in response and the three of you wait until he finally leaves the kitchen. once you realize hes out of range, all three of you turn towards the cooling rack - each shoving a piece of cookie in your mouths.

as if on cue, you all spit the cookie back out. seungcheol grabs a napkin and tries to wipe the taste out of his mouth “either joshua’s a really good liar and was trying to get back at hannie - or theres something off about his tastebuds.”

jeonghan nods in agreement as he throws away the leftover cookie that he had onto a paper towel “i have no idea how he was able to eat three of those biohazards without even flinching”.

“its literally a salt cookie what is wrong with him” seungcheol questions as he grabs a glass of water for him and jeonghan. as jeonghan reaches to take the glass of water from seungcheol’s hand, he shakes his head.

“theres no way he actually found that edible - he must’ve just lied so he wouldn’t hurt y/n’s feelings”

you just stare at the cookies in shock as you realized that joshua ate your cookies no matter how gross and salty it tasted - just because you made them. a soft smile slowly appears on your face as you recall watching him eat the cookies you made - going as far as complimenting and thanking you for them.

that was the fourth time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“guys shh!” someone says as joshua enters into his apartment that he shared with you. his eyebrows furrow together in confusion as he takes off his shoes and his coat.

“y/n? you there?” he calls out as he realizes just how dark the apartment was. he waits for you to answer and immediately fills up with worry once he doesn’t hear your reply. he’s about to take his phone out to call you, but is stopped once the lights suddenly turn on.

he covers his eyes as he tries to adjust to the brightness as loud pops suddenly filled his ears. moving his hands from his eyes, he is then met face to face with you holding a birthday cake along with the rest of his friends. confetti falls onto him as more party poppers were released.

“happy birthday joshua!”

his eyes widen in shock once he realizes what was going on. a wide smile covers his face as he looks behind you to see his friends holding confetti poppers as well as a large banner saying ‘happy birthday shua!’ on it. looking around, he realizes the rest of the apartment was decorated as well. he then looks at the cake you were holding in your hands.

“did you do this all for me?” joshua asks you in disbelief. you nod your head as you smile back at him “of course i did! why wouldn’t i?”

joshua just shakes his head though, the smile never leaving his face “i totally forgot it was even my birthday today”

his friends just laugh at his reply as one of them points towards you “you should thank y/n! they were the one to plan all of this!” he looks back at you as you turn your head away from him sheepishly “did you really plan all of this for me?”

you nod your head shyly as you feel his gaze now on you “i mean… yeah… it’s really not that big of deal…”

somehow, the smile on his joshua’s face grew ten times bigger. he leans down and gives you kiss on the top of your head “thank you y/n, it truly means the world to me”

shaking your head though, you look at him with a soft smile on your face “i just wanted to show you just how much i loved you since you do it to me all the time” you reply back, causing joshua to laugh in response.

“you don’t have to do anything - i already know how much you love me.”

m.list

#kwritersworldnet #joshua hong #hong jisoo #joshua x reader #joshua x you #written fics #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen oneshot #seventeen fics #svt scenarios #svt fics #svt imagines #svt oneshot

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taibhsearachd · 2 years

Note

Heya friend. I realize i am a stranger nobody, and if you lack time spoons or attention to answer this, totally get it. Howwwwever I came across your reply on a medical gaslighting post. And your symptoms you talked about or, i suppose, the symptoms may not be yours match my wife almost to a T. Sudden and intense weight gain, constant dizziness, etc. Anyway if you have gotten a diagnosis or have received help would you mind letting me know what's up? Feel free to dm me if you don't want to publish this as well.

Either way, thanks for your time and have a great day

Putting this together with another ask I got from @aurora-lovegood:

"I know this is a little bit of an invasive question, but i came across a post where you talked about some medical symptoms you had. The one about your blood pressure, and thermoregulation. I was just wondering if that ever got diagnosed as anything? Its just that my mom has been constantly sick her whole life and they never seem to have any idea what it is, and those are some of her prominent symptoms. I always try to keep an eye out for anything I can have her challenge the doctors with, because I feel like they don’t really try (pretty much in line with the aforementioned post). Sorry if this is too personal, but thank you if you have any ideas!"

Hooboy. I am not upset with either of you for asking. I am furious that it took me ten years to get a diagnosis and you guys are asking strangers on the internet, but none of that is your fault.

First, insist that your mom's/wife's doctor checks their thyroid. It's a simple blood test, it's frankly medical neglect that so many doctors did not check mine for so long, and if your people's doctors haven't done so, they're also negligent. Both of your descriptions sound like it might be hypothyroidism, which I was finally diagnosed with just a few years ago. The medication to treat it is cheap, you do need to recheck your levels every now and then to see if your medication needs to be adjusted, this is so easily treatable once diagnosed.

If the thyroid comes up fine (or even if it doesn't, bc these two things are not mutually exclusive and one can exacerbate the other, like with me), ask your doctor to check you for POTS. Also a simple test any GP should be able to do in-office, though they may want you to also do a tilt table test or something a little more involved. Either way... this one is not so easily treated, but knowing you have it can help a lot and there are things you can do to medicate it.

Good luck to both of you figuring this shit out. Living with chronic illness is hard enough as it is - undiagnosed, it's an absolute nightmare, and I hope you both manage to help your loved ones find a diagnosis and treatment.

#chronic illness #medical neglect

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silverlightqueen · 4 years

Text

Tia and Tamera... and Nicole

fratboy and best friend!namjoon x reader, university!au, comedy, fluff, angst (and making out, if that counts as something idk lol) ft. twice nayeon, got7 jackson & skz hyunjin

For btswriterscollective’s 1 year anniversary contest!

Summary: y/n decides to make a big fashion change and, all of a sudden, is the object of attraction of every male within a hundred metre radius of her. Namjoon, her best friend, isn’t too impressed about it.

Rating: 15 (mature themes, explicit discussion of sex, strong language)

Word Count: 9.9k+

Warnings: lots of sexism/misogyny, the typical she-has-a-makeover-and-suddenly-every-boy-wants-to-date-her-trope, lots of gross frat boys, strong language, explicit discussion of sex, alcohol and drug consumption, making out, Namjoon is trash and doesn’t know how to text. I think that’s it but lmk if you noticed that I missed something!

a/n: hey guys ! it’s silverlightqueen back with another university au lmao i’m sorry :( thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess for proofreading, you’re the best and I love youuu !! I hope you guys enjoy this bc it was really fun to write !!

silverlightqueen masterlist

I got the divider off google (it has no relevance to the story but it kinda matches the colour scheme so we move lmao) so credit to whoever made it lol

joon: u up

y/n: don’t fuckboy text me

joon: so thats a yes

y/n: what do you want ?

joon: u free tmrw

y/n: it’s Monday tomorrow

joon: what about it

y/n: I got a lecture in the morning, but I’m free after 11

joon: ill pick u up nd take u 4 food

y/n: look at you, any excuse to drop in that you can drive now

joon: do u want food yes or no

y/n: what food ?

joon: mexican indian chinese whateva u want

y/n: yeah, sounds good

joon: rnt u gonna tell me what food u want

y/n: I’ll sleep on it

y/n: anyway go to bed, idiot, why are you even awake at 2.30 on a Sunday night ?

joon: y r u

y/n: questioning my existence

y/n: duh

y/n: now tell me why you are

joon: i just left jens lol

y/n: nvm forget I asked

joon: sure u dont want the deets

y/n: positive

y/n: goodnight you demon

joon: gn angel

‘Took you long enough,’ Namjoon exclaims as I open the front door of his car and climb into the passenger seat. ‘Wait, whoa. Hold on. What is this?’ Namjoon demands as I shut the door behind me, and I quickly turn to look at him. ‘What?’ I ask worriedly, and he shakes his hand in my general direction. ‘This. Your outfit. I’m confused,’ he says, and I relax, rolling my eyes, trying to ignore the way my cheeks are heating up and hoping he doesn’t notice it. ‘Why are you confused, Namjoon?’ I ask as though I’m speaking to a child, and he laughs, starting up the car.

‘I’m confused because I’ve never seen you wear anything other than clothes that are way too big for you,’ he says, and I make an indignant noise as he speeds down the road like the devil driver he is. ‘Don’t even deny it, you know it’s true. I started to wonder if you had something you were trying to hide. A growth on your stomach. A hunchback. A pregnancy. Or worse; no boobs!’ he says, gasping dramatically, and I hit his shoulder, holding back a laugh. ‘I wasn’t hiding anything,’ I say, and he glances over at me, eyeing my chest, before his tongue darts out to wet his lip. ‘You were. I always assumed you had small tits – a B cup, max – but obviously not. I can’t believe you hid them so well. They’ve gotta be at least a D,’ he says, and I roll my eyes, not bothering to disclose that I’m actually an E. He’d probably pop a boner. ‘And your legs,’ he says, and I look down at them self-consciously. ‘What about them?’ I ask, and he blinks before looking down at my freshly shaved limbs. ‘I’ve never seen them before. They’re nice. Smooth. And curved, with some fat on them. I’m glad you don’t have stick legs,’ he jokes, and I sigh. ‘Stop body-shaming,’ I say, and he lets out a little chuckle. ‘Am I not allowed to have preferences?’ he smirks, eyes on the road as he overtakes cars left, right and centre. ‘No,’ I reply, and he bursts out laughing.

‘So what’s with the new look? What prompted this reinvention? Because, I’m either still tripping from last night, or you’re actually wearing makeup too,’ he says, and I shift embarrassedly in the seat. ‘I just felt like it was time for a change. I wanted to experiment, try something new,’ I say, and he nods, face blank. ‘Okay. Now, do you wanna tell me the real reason?’ he asks, and I laugh, annoyed that he knows me so well. ‘I was getting changed in my room-’ ‘Okay, hang on, let me picture it,’ Namjoon says, and I hit him again, ignoring his chuckles. ‘So, I was getting changed, and Nayeon barged in and had a meltdown over… my body. She said that she was really annoyed with me for hiding my body so much, because if she had my body, she’d walk around naked. Or whatever. Something like that. I’d never really… looked at my body like that, but once she said it, I realised that maybe I could start branching out, fashion-wise. So she took me shopping, and this is the trial of new outfit number one,’ I say, and he listens intently, nodding in all the right places.

‘So how have people reacted today?’ he asks, and I get a little embarrassed thinking about it. ‘Some of the girls in my class started screaming when they saw me, and Taehyung asked if I was new here, and if he could get my number. Oh, and our lecturer asked me to stay behind to ask if I was okay, because I didn’t seem to be myself today,’ I explain, and Namjoon bursts out laughing. ‘You’re kidding.’ ‘Not at all.’ ‘Wow. All I’ll say is to ignore Taehyung. I think all that weed has caused permanent damage to his brain,’ he says, and I can’t help but agree, wondering how that boy can even breathe right anymore. ‘Well, anyway. Why did you used to cover up so much?’ he asks, and I laugh. ‘Are you just gonna keep quizzing me?’ I ask, and he nods instantly, grinning. ‘I’m intrigued, y/n. You have to understand that this is a lot for me to process. My best friend has transformed into someone else since I last saw her. My mind’s going into meltdown mode,’ he says dramatically, and I roll my eyes at him. ‘Drama queen.’ ‘I learn from the best. You. Now, anyway. Can you answer my question?’

‘I don’t know.’ ‘You don’t know if you can answer my question?’ ‘No, moron, I don’t know why I used to cover up so much,’ I say exasperatedly, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘I find that slightly hard to believe.’ ‘Fine. I wasn’t the most confident in my body. It’s hard, seeing all these super slim tiktok girls, petite and slight, and seeing them dress the way I wanted to. It’s like… I felt stupid wearing the same clothes they wear because they look so different to me. The way the media glorifies slim women… it’s hard for not-so-slim women like me. So I just hid my body in loose clothes for so long that it was what I was comfortable in,’ I explain, Namjoon still listening attentively. That’s one of the best things about him; he may be an idiot, but he always listens to what I have to say.

‘That’s… kinda sad, actually. Because – don’t get me wrong, your old look did suit you – but this new look? It’s great. You look really good, y/n, regardless of the fact that you’re not a super slim tiktok girl,’ he says matter-of-factly, and I smile shyly. ‘Thanks. So it’s a yes to the black and white check mini skirt and blazer set?’ I ask, and he nods instantly with a grin. ‘I can’t wait to see the rest of your outfits,’ he says, turning into the car park at the shopping centre. ‘There’s… quite a few to come. I’m a bit nervous about a couple of them,’ I say as he pulls into a parking space, and he gives me a greasy smirk. ‘I’m even more excited now,’ he says, and I swat at him, the boy chuckling as he ducks away from my hand. ‘I’ve just driven you to buy you food, and this is what I get in return?’ ‘Yes. You’re lucky I’m not beating the shit out of you.’ He sighs, checking his blond hair in the mirror before climbing out of the car, and I reach into the back and grab my bag before getting out too.

‘Oh, my God,’ he says, sounding shocked, and I instantly panic. ‘What?’ ‘What are those?’ he shouts, throwing his hands down to point at my feet, and everyone within a hundred metre radius turns to look at us. ‘Joon!’ I exclaim, embarrassed at him grabbing so much attention. ‘Sorry. But seriously? What are those?’ he asks, and I look down at my shoes. ‘They’re sock boots. What’s wrong with them?’ I ask, and he stares at them before taking a step back and looking me up and down. ‘Nothing. They look great. I’m just shocked to see you in shoes other than trainers. And is that a handbag I see instead of the usual backpacks?’ he teases, and I roll my eyes. We walk towards the entrance, and I struggle to keep up with him (I always struggle when walking next to him, but even more so in these boots). ‘Wait,’ I say, hooking my arm through his so I can slow him down, and he laughs. ‘Aww, struggling in your boots?’ he teases, and I huff. ‘Shut up,’ I pout, and he laughs again, looking at me with an affectionate gaze and an amused smile.

But the affection and amusement soon disappears. ‘y/n. You’re literally killing me here. Hurry up,’ he says impatiently. ‘Sorry, Joon. It’s my first time wearing heels though, cut me some slack. At least I haven’t fallen over,’ I say brightly, trying to put a positive spin on it, and he scowls. He’s been trying his best to walk slow but he’s now struggling not to walk at his normal pace – his legs are so much longer than mine. ‘Yet,’ he says venomously, and I gasp. ‘Was that a threat?’ I demand, feigning indignance, and he side-eyes me. ‘Maybe it was. I could stick my foot out right now and no one would ever know,’ he says in a wistful tone, and I shoot him a dirty look. ‘I’ll step on your foot if you try it. Then who’ll be laughing when my boots ruin your Balenciagas?’ ‘Me, because you’ll be buying me new ones.’ ‘With what money? I ain’t got money like that.’ ‘Oh, but you got money for clothes?’ ‘I always got money for clothes.’ ‘Get a sugar daddy.’ ‘You are my sugar daddy.’ ‘Huh?’ ‘Who takes me out for food at least twice a week? And buys me things out of the blue?’ ‘Damn. I really am your sugar daddy. This isn’t a good deal for me at all. You’re getting the daddy, but I’m not getting any sugar.’ ‘I’m not sure that that means exactly what you intended it to mean.’ ‘You know what I meant. I want my sugar, bitch.’ ‘Jen can give you sugar instead.’ ‘Okay, but Jen isn’t getting the daddy. You are.’ ‘She was getting the daddy last night.’ ‘Did you really just refer to my dick as ‘the daddy’?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Never do that again.’

‘Where are we eating?’ I ask, and he grins. ‘Wang and Nayeon are waiting for us at Red Velvet,’ he says, and I gasp. ‘Yes! It’s been so long since we’ve been to Red Velvet!’ I exclaim, and he laughs amusedly. ‘I know. I was worried you might start getting withdrawal symptoms.’ ‘I thought we’d never go back. Does Seulgi still work there?’ I ask, raising an eyebrow, and he pulls a face. ‘Yep,’ he says, and I feel my eyes widen. ‘And we’re still gonna go?’ ‘Yes, because I’m a great person and make sacrifices for you even though all you do is abuse me and threaten to ruin my Balenciagas,’ he says, and I pout. ‘Sorry, Joonie,’ I say, putting on a baby voice as I give him puppy dog eyes, and he refuses to look at me, fighting a smile off his face. ‘Apology accepted. Now stop being the real-life version of that emoji.’ ‘Which one?’ ‘Don’t play dumb, you know exactly which one I mean.’

We round the corner to where Red Velvet is, tucked away from the rest of the shopping centre, and Nayeon and Jackson are sat in the window booth, watching a video on Nayeon’s phone together. When Namjoon and I enter, the little bell above the door rings, and both of them look up at us. Nayeon grins so wide I’m worried her face is going to split, and Jackson does a double take, eyes wider than an anime girl’s. ‘y/n?’ he exclaims, loud enough to catch the attention of everyone in the restaurant, and I shoot him a look, shushing him. ‘Oh, my God. What’s happened to you? Who’s this sexy thing?’ Jackson says as I slide into the booth opposite him and Nayeon, shuddering at the thought of my bare legs on the worn (and most likely, germ-carrying) leather of the seat as Namjoon slides in beside me. ‘Don’t refer to me as a ‘thing’, I’m not an object,’ I mutter, but my comment is ignored when Namjoon says, ‘literally my exact reaction.’ ‘No, it wasn’t. You did not call me sexy,’ I frown, and he blinks at me, looking surprised. ‘Did I not?’ he asks, and I shake my head. ‘Well, I thought you would’ve gathered that I thought that anyway. Based on the way I had to pick my tongue up from the floor when I saw you,’ he says, Jackson and Nayeon laughing as I roll my eyes.

‘You look good. Really good, y/n. I didn’t know you had boobs,’ Jackson says, inspecting me, and I try not to squirm under his scrutinising gaze. ‘Neither did I! Until I walked in on her naked!’ Nayeon says, Jackson’s eyes nearly falling out of his head. ‘I was in my underwear,’ I say defensively, and Nayeon rolls her eyes. ‘Details. But, yeah, after I saw her hot bod, I told her to stop wearing Billie Eilish’s hand-me-downs.’ ‘And gave her your hand-me-downs instead?’ ‘Excuse me, these are brand new,’ I point out, and Nayeon nods. ‘Yeah. You should know me better. I could never pull off an outfit like that.’ ‘I could pull it off you,’ Jackson jokes, Namjoon fist-bumping him as they laugh, Nayeon and I exchanging an exasperated glance. ‘I could pull it off you too, y/n,’ Jackson says with a little quirk of his eyebrow, and I roll my eyes, willing myself not to blush. ‘Jackson! y/n’s our baby, and we’ve gotta protect her from fuckboys, so stop being one,’ Nayeon says with a slap to his shoulder. ‘There won’t be any… fuckboys,’ I say, and all three of them raise their eyebrows at me. ‘You’re delusional if you think that. Just wait ‘til a frat boy sees you,’ Jackson says, and I frown. ‘Okay. That sounds fake, but, okay,’ I say, just as Seulgi appears to take our order.

‘Hi, and welcome to Red Velvet. What can I get for you?’ she says in the most bored tone I’ve ever heard. She must really hate her job. Even more with this moron sat beside me in here. ‘Can I get the Ice Cream Cake freakshake please?’ Nayeon asks, Seulgi gracing her with a rare smile as she writes down her order. ‘Can I get the Power Up brownie with Red Flavour ice cream please? And just water?’ Jackson asks, also getting a smile. ‘Can I get the Cookie Jar freakshake? And she’ll have Mojito cheesecake with Blue Lemonade. Thanks,’ Namjoon says, ordering for me too, but, unsurprisingly, he doesn’t get a smile. ‘Will you all be paying together?’ ‘I’m paying for mine and his,’ Nayeon says, pointing at herself and Jackson (she lost a bet with him a couple weeks ago, and owes him a meal). ‘And I’m paying for mine and hers,’ Namjoon says, Seulgi fixing him with a dirty look. ‘So this is who you’ve moved on to now?’ she demands, Nayeon and Jackson wincing. ‘Sis, you can have him,’ I say, unable to resist, and Namjoon shoots me evils as Seulgi looks bewildered. ‘Pardon?’ ‘I’m good, luv. Enjoy,’ I say, but she’s still staring at me, her mouth suddenly falling open. ‘y/n?’ she asks, and I nod, slightly confused. ‘OMG, I didn’t even recognise you. Girl, you look so good! I didn’t know you had boobs!’ she exclaims, and I have to stop myself from facepalming. ‘Thanks, Seulgi,’ I force out between gritted teeth, embarrassed as hell, but she doesn’t seem to notice, grinning away obliviously. ‘No problem. I’ll just get your orders put through and then I’ll come back for payments,’ she says, visibly perkier (nothing like seeing one of your friends unrecognisable after a makeover to cure a bad mood – apparently), before disappearing.

‘That was awkward,’ Namjoon says nonchalantly, all three of us fixing him with hard stares. ‘It wouldn’t have been so awkward if you weren’t such a dick,’ I say blithely, and he gasps dramatically. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘Don’t play innocent, dumbass. If you hadn’t had slept with Joy and Seulgi on the same day, we wouldn’t be in this situation. We’d actually have avoided a lot of situations if you weren’t such a dog,’ Nayeon says, brutally honest as ever. ‘Hey, I never made any kind of commitment to either of them!’ Namjoon defends himself, both Nayeon and I shaking our heads at him. ‘It’s common courtesy, douchebag,’ I reply, Namjoon sticking his tongue out at me. ‘I’d like to know what situations you’re referring to. I don’t get us into awkward situations,’ he says, all three of us giving him a ‘really?’ look.

‘Remember when we went out to that bar – what was it called again? Oh, yeah, Playing With Fire – and Jisoo threw that drink at you for blocking her on socials after you slept together?’ Jackson reminds us, Namjoon nodding slightly embarrassedly. ‘Oh, and when we went to Breakthrough, that club, and Sana got us kicked out by pretending we smuggled drugs in because you ghosted her after telling her you felt ‘something real’ for her?’ Nayeon brings up, all of us looking pointedly at Namjoon who nods sheepishly. ‘And that fight you got into with Daniel after you went ‘round telling people that Jihyo’s your sloppy seconds?’ I say, and he gasps indignantly. ‘I didn’t say that once!’ ‘Still. If you hadn’t had slept with her, that fake rumour wouldn’t have gone around,’ I say, and he pouts. ‘We could name several girls you’ve gotten us into awkward situations with. Chaeyoung, Hyejin, Wendy, Dahyun-’ ‘Okay, okay, damn. I get the picture,’ he says, the three of us exchanging looks.

‘Anyway, I need to go toilet. Come with me, y/n?’ Nayeon asks, and I nod. Namjoon sighs, reluctantly getting out of the booth to let me out. ‘Whoa, hold on,’ Jackson says, and I turn around to face him. ‘y/n… what you doing out here with all this ass?’ he asks, voice far too loud for my liking, and the few people in the restaurant turn to look at us disapprovingly. ‘Double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon!’ Namjoon exclaims, before they chorus, ‘Hella ass!’ They burst into laughter, and my face is on fire, everybody in the restaurant staring at us (or, more specifically, my ass). ‘y/n, you dumb thicc, sis,’ Jackson says, and I take a deep breath before saying, ‘I’m going to go to the toilet now.’ ‘Take some ass pics while you’re there!’

joon: hey sexc

y/n: hey, what’s up ?

joon: wang wants 2 know if u nd nayeon r up 4 wing wednesday @ KPN

y/n: what time ?

joon: weneva imma get there 6.30

y/n: are there gonna be any other girls there?

joon: idk prolly the boys gfs

joon: y u asking so many qs u dnt have 2 come if u dnt wanna

y/n: I just don’t wanna be one of the only girls at a frat house with loads of stupid frat boys

joon: ill protect u bby

joon: me nd wang got u

y/n: much appreciated

y/n: we’ll come, but I’ll text you when we get there and you need to meet us at the door

y/n: I’ll feel awkward just walking in

joon: ok but call dnt text

y/n: you never answer your phone

joon: ill take it off silent 4 u angel ;)

y/n: thank youuu

joon: ofc see u tmrw

y/n: see youuu, goodnight joonie

joon: gn stupid

‘Wrong number,’ he says when he answers the phone, and I roll my eyes. ‘We’re at the door, come get us,’ I say, and he lets out a loud sigh. ‘I’m gonna lose my seat,’ he complains, and I huff. ‘Joon, please come get us. Do you know what it’s like being a girl around dozens of frat boys? You need to look after us,’ I plead, and he sighs again. ‘Give me a minute,’ he replies before the line clicks off. ‘Is he coming?’ Nayeon asks, and I nod. ‘Good, because it’s freezing,’ she says, clutching at her bare arms. ‘That’s what you get for wearing a t-shirt,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. ‘It’s not like you’re dressed warmly either,’ she says pointedly, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘I’m not complaining about the cold.’ ‘Yeah, which I’m surprised about, because that top is thin as hell.’ ‘It’s not that thin.’ ‘Sis, I borrowed that top yesterday – it’s thin.’

I’m dressed in a black long-sleeve top tucked into a pair of greyish-whiteish joggers, with white trainers on my feet, a simple gold necklace around my neck with an initial pendant, a couple gold bracelets on my wrist and gold rings on my fingers. Nayeon’s in a pair of blue mom jeans and a black t-shirt, a cross body bag with both of our things inside it on her shoulder. Neither of us have bothered with full faces or pretty hairstyles – we’ve both got on basic makeup with our hair out and natural. It isn’t really that cold; it’s 8, and the air is starting to get crisp and cool, but the sun’s only just beginning to set, so there’s still a little warmth. Nayeon’s just a drama queen.

The door opens after a few seconds, Namjoon glowering at us, before he looks me up and down, his frown being replaced with a smirk. ‘Have I told you I love this new y/n? Like… this is a look,’ he says, and I grin at him, feeling a little more confident now. ‘I’m stood right here,’ Nayeon says with a half-hearted scowl, and Namjoon grins, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a side hug. ‘Nayeon, me complimenting you is like complimenting Mona Lisa. She already knew she was sexy as hell so what’s the point?’ he says easily, Nayeon preening as I roll my eyes. ‘You think Mona Lisa’s sexy?’ ‘Not as sexy as you.’ ‘Can we go inside? I’m cold,’ Nayeon says, not waiting for either of us to reply before she slips past Namjoon into the house. ‘Come on,’ Namjoon says, grabbing my hand and pulling me along behind him.

The second we step into the living room, the smell of strong cologne, alcohol and weed hits me and all eyes flit from Nayeon – who’s hugging Jinyoung and squealing – to me and Joon. Well, more me than Joon. ‘Woah. Who’s this? Surely not y/n,’ I hear Hoseok say, and I shoot him a dirty look, the boy grinning in return. ‘Shut it, stupid,’ I say, Namjoon continuing to walk towards the kitchen, dragging me along behind him. When we step into the kitchen, the smell of spicy wings hits me, and my eyes are instantly drawn to the takeout bags covering the countertop. But when I realise none of the bags are unopened, meaning frat boys have already been at them, it puts me off a little – I’d rather not eat food that might have been tampered with.

‘Look. My seat’s taken,’ Namjoon says pointedly, motioning to where Kai sits on a stool, beside Taemin and Seokwoo, the three of them laughing at whatever story Jaehyun’s telling them. ‘You’ll survive. What’s the point of having such long legs if you don’t stand on them?’ ‘There’s no logic in that. Go get my seat back,’ he says, and I side-eye him, wondering if he’s being serious or not. ‘How am I supposed to get your seat back?’ ‘Go flirt with him.’ ‘No! Him and Krystal have got a thing,’ I say, and Namjoon rolls his eyes. ‘That won’t stop him from flirting back,’ he says, and I glare at him. ‘I cannot stress this enough. Men are trash,’ I say before turning away from him, heading towards where there’s a couple dozen drink bottles and cups covering the countertop. I carefully pour myself a lemonade, making sure the cup’s clean and the bottle hasn’t been tampered with (I know Wing Wednesday is ‘for the boys’ so it’s unlikely it’s spiked, but it never hurts to take precautions).

‘y/n!’ I hear Mina exclaim, and I turn to see her stood there, smiling widely. ‘Mina!’ I squeal, pulling the girl into a hug. Mina’s one of Nayeon’s friends (they’re on the same course) but because Nayeon and I are inseparable, Nayeon’s friends are my friends too. Mina’s here because she’s dating Bambam, a KPN frat boy, and it makes me realise my privilege; Nayeon and I are only here because of our connections. If we weren’t best friends with Jackson and Namjoon, we’d have missed out on so many amazing memories. ‘How have you been? I haven’t seen you for ages!’ she says as we break apart, and I grin widely. ‘I’ve been good. Really good.’ ‘You look it. This style is, like, amazing! Is this new style permanent?’ she asks, and I smile shyly. ‘I think so. I actually… really like my new style,’ I say, and before Mina can speak, I hear Baekhyun say, ‘I like it too.’ Mina and I both turn to look at him, his stupid grin making me roll my eyes amusedly. ‘Hey, Baek,’ I say, the boy opening his arms for a hug, which I give (reluctantly). Baekhyun is Nayeon’s ex. They’re still friends – they’re actually on really good terms – but I’m still… cautious around him. He’s funny, and we get along, but I can never see him the same after hearing all the drama from Nayeon.

I clear myself a space on the countertop and boost myself up, sitting on the hard wood surface and Mina joins me, Baekhyun standing in front of us. ‘Have you had any wings?’ Baekhyun asks, and Mina and I exchange a glance, obviously thinking the same thing. ‘No, I’m… not really feeling wings,’ I say, Mina nodding in agreement, letting out little giggles behind her hand. ‘Aren’t you hungry?’ he asks, and, to be honest, I’m starving. But I am not about to eat those… frat boy wings, and neither is Mina. ‘Yeah, I could eat.’ ‘Let’s order some pizza then,’ he grins, and I gasp. ‘Pizza? On Wings Wednesday? Isn’t that against frat laws?’ I tease, and he rolls his eyes, pulling out his phone. ‘What toppings do you have?’ ‘Just get margherita.’ ‘Shall I get two larges?’ ‘Yeah, Nayeon will want some too,’ I say, and he rolls his eyes again, an amused smile on his face. ‘I’m not ordering pizza for Nayeon – I’m ordering it for us.’ ‘I’ll transfer you the money.’ ‘y/n… it’s pizza. You don’t need to transfer me money for it.’ ‘Why not? I don’t mind paying.’ ‘Yeah, but what kind of gentleman would I be if I made you pay’ ‘You’re not a gentleman,’ I reply amusedly, and he clutches his heart, pretending to be hurt. ‘I am.’ ‘You’re not. And you’ve made me pay for food before. Remember the Chinese we ordered after the LSG party, and you made me answer the door, so I had to pay?’ I say, and he winces. ‘Well… the pizza makes up for it,’ he says, and I just raise an eyebrow, amused.

It’s so… wrong that he’s only willing to pay for food for me now that he finds me attractive, but I won’t complain aloud; it’s free food after all. And then it gets me thinking. Maybe I should… take advantage of the effect my new look’s having. I mean, frat boys aren’t the… smartest, are they? Namjoon may be an exception when it comes to his education, but his common sense? He has next to none, demonstrated by the stupid situations his whore behaviour has gotten us into. And the rest of them are even stupider than him. I’ve always been a master of manipulation, and it’ll be even easier now they think I’m hot.

It isn’t long until the pizzas arrive and the second Baekhyun leaves to collect them at the door, Mina turns to me with a grin. ‘Girl, if you don’t take advantage of all these boys thirsting over you, I swear, I’ll be so disappointed,’ she says, making me burst into laughter. ‘I was literally just thinking about doing it!’ I exclaim, both of us laughing. ‘No, but for real. You should, like, make the most of it while it lasts. Not to sound nasty, but you know it won’t be long until there’s another girl they’re all into. You should exploit this opportunity whilst you’re still the… object of the affections,’ she says, making me laugh. ‘Exploit this opportunity?’ I repeat, and she nods with a grin. ‘Their generosity will only go to a certain extent,’ I say, and she raises an eyebrow. ‘Wanna test that?’ she asks, a challenging glint in her eye, and I grin, nodding. ‘Go look in the fridge, and when you’re asked what you’re looking for, say… Vanilla Coke.’ ‘Vanilla Coke?’ ‘Mmhmm.’ ‘Okay.’

I head over to the drinks fridge (they keep their food in the mini fridge and their drinks in the big fridge – their priorities are so fucked up) and open the door. I scan the bottles, seeing mainly lemonade and coke with a couple alcoholic bottles, but no Vanilla Coke. ‘y/n!’ I hear from behind me, and I turn to see Donghyuck stood there, a big grin on his face. ‘Hyuck! Hey!’ I exclaim, throwing my arms around him. Donghyuck and I did extra credit classes together last year, and I’ve barely seen him since. ‘You look so different!’ he says, holding me away to inspect me, hands light on my shoulders, and I grin, bending one leg at the knee and striking a pose, making him laugh. ‘It’s weird to see you in clothes that fit,’ he teases, and I roll my eyes. ‘Don’t even. Everyone’s making such a big deal of it.’ ‘Yeah, because you look hot.’ ‘Whatever.’

I turn back to the fridge, and he comes to stand beside me. ‘Whatcha looking for?’ ‘Vanilla Coke. I’m, like craving it,’ I lie, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re lucky we’ve got lemonade and coke. KPN stick to basics,’ he says, and I roll my eyes. ‘Well, maybe you shouldn’t. Vanilla Coke is amazing.’ ‘Well, the corner shop down the road might have some. Shall we go get some?’ he suggests, and I’m shocked. Mina was right. He’s willing the leave Wings Wednesday with his frat brothers to go get Vanilla Coke from the shop with me. ‘You sure?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘It’s only a two-minute walk.’ ‘Okay. Let’s g-’ ‘y/n!’ I hear Mina call before materialising next to me. ‘Hey, Mina,’ I say, Donghyuck greeting the girl too. ‘Hey, Hyuck. I’m need to steal y/n. Emergency,’ she says, and my eyes widen. I’ve literally left her alone for a minute. What emergency does she have? ‘You okay?’ ‘Yeah, it’s just… I started. Do you have a pad?’ she whispers, loud enough for Donghyuck to hear, the boy wrinkling his nose in disgust, making me roll my eyes. Why boys are so grossed out about periods, I don’t know. It took two entire years of friendship with Namjoon to get him to buy me some pads. ‘Yeah, I do.’ ‘Will you come to the toilet with me?’ she asks, and I nod, apologising to Donghyuck before Mina drags me out of the kitchen, through the living room and upstairs.

‘Oh, shit! My pads are in Nayeon’s bag,’ I say when we reach the top of the stairs, and Mina lets out an annoyed noise. ‘I don’t actually need a pad, stupid! I was just getting you away from him,’ she whispers before pulling me into the bathroom. ‘What? Why?’ ‘Because now he’ll go get your Vanilla Coke from the shop and you won’t have to go with him,’ she says, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Are you kidding? He’s not gonna go.’ ‘Yes, he will,’ she says, before letting out an exasperated sigh. ‘Remember when I stayed home for a few months, because I wasn’t well?’ she asks, and I nod – Nayeon was heartbroken that she didn’t have Mina to gossip with in her lectures. ‘When I came back, all the boys were fussing over me. Trust me; he will go and get that coke.’

We spend a couple minutes in the bathroom, reapplying our lipgloss and fixing our hair, before we head back downstairs, quickly grabbing two of the empty stools in the kitchen, Bambam sat next to Mina and Namjoon sat next to me, chatting with Minho about football strategy for their next match. ‘y/n!’ I hear Donghyuck’s voice after a few minutes, making me stop mid-conversation with Yugyeom about dessert on Monday at Red Velvet (it was so good, I can’t stop thinking about it – I might have to drag Namjoon back there this weekend). I turn to see him stood at the door, holding up a bottle of Vanilla Coke, and I have to stifle a laugh, pushing down guilt. ‘Oh, my God, thank you, Hyuck! You’re the best!’ I exclaim, giving the boy a hug before he disappears to find me a clean cup. ‘I was right,’ Mina says with a grin. ‘I feel bad.’ ‘Don’t. You didn’t make him get it.’ ‘Yeah, but I’m not even gonna drink it. I don’t like Vanilla Coke.’ ‘Well, it’s a good thing I do.’

joon: u got a lecture tmrw

y/n: it’s Friday tomorrow right ?

joon: um ye how do u not know

joon: r u still drunk from last night

y/n: I wasn’t drunk! I didn’t even touch any alcohol !

joon; then y were u letting johnny touch u up

y/n: I wasn’t! there was fluff on my boob and he took it off for me !

joon: ur so naive

joon: n e ways, do u have a lecture tmrw

y/n: yeah, 1-3

joon: wanna go 4 coffee after ill pick u up

y/n: sounds good

y/n: I’ll pay

joon: no

y/n: you paid for dessert !

joon: idc, ill pay 4 coffee

joon: u save ur money 4 clothes ;)

y/n: ew

joon: bitch do u want coffee or no

y/n: yes :)))

joon: ill b there @ 3, dnt b late like monday

y/n: okayyy see you at three joonie

joon: yep, night sexc

y/n: ew

joon: fine u can walk 2 starbucks

y/n: NO I’M SORRY

y/n: joon pls answer

y/n: stop leaving me on read !

y/n: fine, you can go to starbucks by yourself

joon: sorry

joon: y/n

joon: r u there

joon: bitch answer me

joon: ignore me if u wanna fuck

y/n: you’re such an idiot

joon: gn y/nie

y/n: night stupid, ilyyyy

joon: luv u 2 dummy

‘Hi, welcome to Starbucks! What can I get you?’ the barista asks, smiling widely. He’s handsome, with dirty blond hair pulled back into a ponytail and sparkling brown eyes, and I can’t help but smile back. ‘Hi, can I get two large iced vanilla lattes please?’ I ask, the boy nodding as he clicks away at the register. My eyes flit to his little name tag. His name is Hyunjin. Cute. ‘What name shall I put on the cups?’ he asks, eyes sparkling when he looks back up at me, and I smile shyly when I say, ‘y/n.’ ‘Pretty name for a pretty girl,’ he replies, not giving me a moment to process the compliment before he says, ‘that’ll be £7.40. Cash or card?’ ‘Card,’ a voice behind me says, and I turn to see Jaemin stood there, smiling. ‘Can I add a large iced americano to that too?’ he says, holding up his card, and Hyunjin nods, tapping at the register. ‘Jaemin, don’t. I’ll pay,’ I say, though it’s Namjoon’s money in my hand, not my own. ‘It’s fine, y/n. I don’t mind,’ he says with a grin, and I smile back, touched.

Jaemin moves around me to pay for the three drinks, and I feel a little awkward, stood behind him, waiting. ‘How have you been, y/n?’ he asks once he’s paid, and I smile. ‘I’ve been really good, thanks. How about you?’ ‘Yeah, great. You look… different since the last time I saw you,’ he says with a little smirk, and I roll my eyes, an amused smile playing at my lips. ‘I’m assuming that was a compliment.’ ‘Of course. How could it be anything other than a compliment when the ‘different’ I’m talking about is this?’ he says with a flirty grin, motioning to my outfit (a pair of tight black cargo trousers and a long-sleeved black top, big black stomper boots on my feet and silver jewellery).

Jaemin flirts with me for a little while, but his americano is ready before mine and Joon’s lattes and he has a lecture at 3.30, so he leaves with the promise of continuing our conversation at the ASP party tomorrow, which I had no idea about. ‘y/n!’ Hyunjin calls and I go over to grab the lattes. I notice a caramel shortbread on a plate beside the cups, and I look up at him questioningly, the boy grinning back. ‘It’s on the house,’ he says, and I can’t help but let out a giggle, flattered. ‘Thank you.’ ‘No problem… y/n. I’m a student, at the university, and I heard your… friend talking about the party tomorrow. I’ll be there, and it’d be nice to see you,’ he says, smiling as he leans against the counter casually, my heart jumping. He’s hot, he’s confident and he’s sweet – I could definitely see myself getting to know him. ‘Yeah, it’d be nice to see you too,’ I reply shyly, breaking off our eye contact after a few seconds. ‘See you tomorrow then,’ he grins before turning to deal with the next customer.

I carefully take the lattes and the shortbread over to mine and Joon’s table in the corner, the boy instantly biting into the shortbread. ‘That is mine.’ ‘I paid for your coffee, so I can have a bite of your shortbread,’ he says, mouth full of food, and I scrunch my nose up in disgust, sitting down opposite him. ‘No, actually, you didn’t. Jaemin did,’ I say, dropping Joon’s money on the table in front of him, and he frowns. ‘Who’s Jaemin? The cute barista you were just flirting with?’ he asks drily as he picks up one of the coffees, taking a sip. ‘No, his name’s Hyunjin. And I wasn’t flirting with him,’ I say, embarrassed, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Then what’s this?’ he asks, holding his cup out to me. I can’t hold back my smile when I see that Hyunjin’s written his number on the label with a smiley face beside it. ‘Exactly what I thought. Anyway… who’s Jaemin?’ ‘KPN Jaemin. He was behind me in the queue and he paid for our drinks. And then Hyunjin gave me the shortbread for free,’ I say, and Joon narrows his eyes at me.

‘I can’t believe you’re making these boys do all these things for you.’ ‘They’re doing it voluntarily – I’m not making them do anything!’ ‘So you didn’t make Donghyuck get your Vanilla Coke on Wednesday?’ ‘No, he choose to go get it!’ ‘Well, you’re putting Tia and Tamera to good use.’ ‘Tia and Tamera?’ I ask, confused, and he points at my chest. ‘Tia… and Tamera,’ he says, naming each boob, ‘don’t you listen to Doja Cat?’ ‘Not religiously – Say So’s the only song of hers on my Spotify.’ ‘Tasteless.’ ‘You’re tasteless for accusing me of using my boobs to manipulate boys,’ I hiss, and he rolls his eyes. ‘Did I lie?’ ‘Yes!’ ‘Okay, maybe I did. It’s not just Tia and Tamera. It’s Tia and Tamera and… Nicole!’ he says, and I blink in confusion. ‘Nicole?’ ‘Use your brain.’ ‘Did you just name my ass Nicole?’ I ask incredulously, and he nods, seemingly proud of himself. ‘People look at it more than they look at your face, so I think it deserves naming,’ he says bitterly, and I gasp. ‘That was low. People look at my face. I’m not just my body. My face is pretty too,’ I say coldly, a little hurt, and he looks guilty. ‘Well, of course your face is pretty, I just-’ ‘You just what? Judged me, even though you’ve slept with more girls than I’ve ever been friends with? Just remember that there’s a lot you’ve done that I could judge you on, but I don’t, because we’re best friends.’

The air is tense after I finish speaking, and I feel sick. Joon and I have never argued. Our friendship has always been so laidback, so chill, so easy. I’ve never had any downs in my friendship with him because we get along so well. But I’m surprised at him being so judgmental, and so… douchey about me getting some male attention for the first time in… well, forever. ‘Sorry, y/n. I’m being a dick,’ he says softly, and I can see that he feels guilty. I decide it’s best to end our argument here, because this isn’t a nice feeling. ‘Whatever, it’s fine, Joon. Anyway… you didn’t tell me ASP are having a party tomorrow! Am I not invited?’ I tease, and he grins, the tension between us gone. ‘No, you’re not. I’m tired of you being so dependent on me.’ ‘Shut it. You’d be lost without me.’ ‘Whatever. I was supposed to tell you about it at KPN, but I barely got to speak to you. You were… popular that night,’ he says quietly, not meeting my eyes, and suddenly, I can feel the awkwardness making a reappearance. ‘Ah, well, I guess there’s no point asking you to take me to Red Velvet then,’ I say wistfully, trying to change the subject, and he rolls his eyes. ‘Ask Wang, he’ll take you.’ ‘No, it’s fine. I don’t wanna be bloated at the party. We can reschedule to Sunday – order some for a hangover cure. Can I sleep over?’ I ask, and he nods, smiling to himself. ‘You and Nayeon are always welcome. There’s enough bed space for the three of us.’ ‘You say that, and yet, you end up on the floor with us two in your bed every time.’ ‘I’ll climb in with you while you’re asleep.’ ‘Isn’t that illegal?’ ‘Shut up and eat your shortbread. Or do you not wanna be bloated?’ ‘Matter of fact, you’re right. These cargo trousers are already tight.’ ‘That’s because you’ve got a fat ass.’

y/n: hey, is this hyunjin ? from Starbucks ?

hyunjin: yeah, and is this y/n ? the pretty cargo trousers girl ?

y/n: the one and only ☺️

hyunjin: I was worried you wouldn’t reach out to me after I saw you go and sit with that boy

hyunjin: I felt terrible bc I didn’t even ask if you had a boyfriend

y/n: oh no, he isn’t my boyfriend

y/n: he’s my best friend, namjoon

hyunjin: as in kim namjoon ?

y/n: yep, you’ve probably heard of him lol

hyunjin: I have lmao he has quite a reputation

hyunjin: I didn’t recognise him

hyunjin: I just saw you go and sit with a handsome boy and I felt awful

y/n: well, you don’t have to feel bad

y/n: and he’s not that handsome lmao

y/n: he’s just… namjoon

hyunjin: well, I’ll have to thank him when I see him

hyunjin: if he hadn’t given you my number from his cup, I’d have felt like an idiot

y/n: it’s a good thing he pointed it out to me lol

hyunjin: yeah, I’m relieved

hyunjin: I know it’s forward of me and I hope you don’t think I’m out of line

hyunjin; but I just thought you were really cute and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity

hyunjin: especially after jaemin paid for your drinks and flirted with you

hyunjin: I know it sounds silly but I was debating whether or not it was worth competing with him

y/n: jaemin’s not really interested, he flirts with anything that has a pulse

y/n: but I’m glad you didn’t waste the opportunity

y/n: I thought you were cute too, and I love your hair

hyunjin: ah thank you! I was a little nervous about growing it out

y/n: it’s unique, and it really suits you

hyunjin: thanks y/n :)

hyunjin: it’s late so I’m gonna head to bed but I’m glad you texted me, and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow !

y/n: okay, hyunjin, goodnight ! see you tomorrow :)

hyunjin: goodnight ! :)

joon: do u need a lift tmrw

y/n: no, jackson said he’s gonna pick us up

y/n: but thank you for offering anywayyy

joon: ok

joon: why did it take you 30 mins 2 reply its lit rally 2am, what else r u busy with

y/n: I was texting

joon: who

y/n: oh, just the, um, the girls groupchat, to talk about what we’re gonna wear tomorrow

joon: ok

y/n: I’m gonna go to bed, I’ll speak to you tomorrow

joon: aight gn dum dum

y/n: night joonie, sweet dreamsss

joon: ill dream of u in ur crop tops

y/n: pervert

joon: luv u ;)

y/n: love you more dumbass

‘y/n! y/n! y/n!’ ‘Oh, my God, Nayeon, you’re like a child! I’m mid-conversation!’ ‘I know, but this is important!’ she says, tugging on the strap of my top, her force nearly making me spill my drink down my outfit. I thought I’d dress simple, in just a black strappy lowcut crop top and a pair of ripped blue jeans, fluffy black slides on my feet and simple gold jewellery to accessorise. ‘Sorry, Dahyun,’ I sigh with a roll of my eyes, the girl grinning back. ‘It’s fine – go deal with your important business,’ she laughs, and Nayeon takes this as a signal to drag me into the kitchen, leaving Dahyun alone in the back garden. ‘What is it?’ I ask, and she grins. ‘I found your cute barista boy! Well, I think so, anyway. Not many boys have dirty blond ponytails.’ ‘Oh… okay.’ ‘Aren’t you excited?’ ‘I think you’re excited enough for both of us.’ ‘I’m serious, y/n! I saw him, and he’s really hot! You’ve been texting all day, and you said he’s really sweet. He could be your first boyfriend!’ ‘Nayeon, you’re getting ahead of yourself – I’ve literally known him for… 32 hours. And I don’t even know him, really. All I know is his name and that he works at Starbucks.’ ‘Well… this is your chance to get to know him. He’s with his friends in the living room – go,’ she says, not giving me a chance to reply before she pushes me through the open door.

He spots me instantly, calling my name, and I scan the room until my eyes meet his, smiles breaking across our faces as he waves me over. I head around the edges of the room, not wanting to get caught in the group of people dancing, until I reach him and his friends in the corner. ‘Hey, y/n! You look nice!’ he exclaims, smiling widely, and I feel butterflies; he really is so handsome. ‘Thanks, Hyunjin. You do, too,’ I say honestly, looking him up and down; his black jeans, loose blue and white striped shirt only buttoned halfway with a black t-shirt beneath are a chic and stylish contrast to the Starbucks apron he was wearing yesterday. Half of his hair is up in a ponytail with a few loose strands framing his face and his ears are adorned with earrings, sparkling in the low light. He introduces me to his friends, who all seem nice (I think I’ve seen a few of them before – I’m sure a couple of them are KPN frat brothers). As soon as the introductions are done, he asks if I’ll go with him to get a drink. He takes my hand gently – a shock running up my arm at the contact – and leads me into the kitchen, getting himself a bottle of Soju from the fridge. ‘Do you want one?’ he asks, and I scrunch up my nose – I find Soju absolutely disgusting. ‘Thanks, but I’ll stick to my vodka coke for now,’ I say, holding up my cup, the boy laughing as he nods, shutting the fridge after him.

We stand in one corner of the kitchen, chatting, and our conversation flows so easily. He’s an architecture and design major, but he does dance on the side too, with some of his friends. I ask him to tell me the basic things about him and I find out that he has a dog called Kkami, he loves autumn, he’s allergic to cat fur, his favourite food is sushi and his least favourite foods are onion, carrot and eggplant. Even though he’s so handsome (like intimidatingly handsome), he’s so modest, down-to-earth, and just so sweet. He’s like a breath of fresh air in comparison to the boys I spend time with on a daily basis (no shade to Jackson and Joon, but they’re nowhere near as gentlemanly as Hyunjin – he gets me two refills before I even realise that my cup is empty, and he gets me two slices of pizza as soon as it arrives because I mentioned I hadn’t eaten). I can already feel myself crushing on him; every time he compliments me, I get so flustered and all I can do is giggle – two weeks ago me would have hated now me.

After what could be hours (I’m having the time of my life chatting away to him), he asks me to dance with him, and I’m filled with an inexplicable fear. Actually, no. It’s explicable; I have never danced at a party before. Ever. ‘It’s okay… I won’t bite,’ he teases, and I take a deep breath, smiling as I nod. He takes my hand again, his touch so light and gentle, and instead of pulling me along behind him, he lets me go first, standing just a few inches behind me as we head into the living room. We mould into the group of our peers dancing, and I feel a little awkward at first, but I soon loosen up into the rhythm of the Rihanna and Bryson Tiller song pulsing out into the room. He’s really the perfect gentleman; he doesn’t lay a hand on me other than to move me out of the way when someone drunk stumbles past. It’s a nice change from the boys that don’t hesitate to just come up behind a girl and grab onto her waist, forcing himself onto her.

But after a while, I can feel the several vodka cokes starting to take effect, my mind a little hazy, and a tipsy y/n mixed with the RnB baselines floating out from the speakers isn’t a good combination. Hyunjin’s tan skin glows in the low light, his eyes sparkling, and he looks so fucking handsome, his plump lips stretching up into a flawless grin when I hook my arms around his neck loosely, moving closer. We dance a little more… intimately, our bodies pressed together after a few minutes, and his hands rest on my lower back, not venturing any lower, and his eyes stay on my face, even though my cleavage is right there. His gentlemanliness just makes him even sexier to me.

I look up at him, and notice that some of his hair in his face, and so I reach to brush it back behind his ear. His hair is so soft, the locks just gliding between my fingers, and I can’t help but run my fingers through the loose hair that he hasn’t pulled up into a ponytail, my nails gently scraping against the back of his neck. He shivers a little, his neck obviously sensitive, and it makes me look him in the eyes, practically getting lost in them. And before my brain can even register it, he leans towards me and my eyes flutter shut, his lips softly brushing against mine a few moments later. My first kiss.

He moves away, almost to check if I’m okay with it, and I just lean towards him, pressing our lips together again, making him let out a chuckle against my mouth. My mind numbs a little when he parts my lips with his, his tongue sliding into my mouth, and I really didn’t know that kissing was this good. His hands press into my back, holding me against him, and I grip onto his strong shoulders, his scent of lemony shampoo and expensive aftershave flooding my senses as our lips move against each other. ‘y/n, get a room!’ I hear Jin, one of Joon’s stupid friends, shout, followed by laughter, making me break away from Hyunjin, blinking as though I’ve just woken up, Hyunjin just smiling back at me. I turn to Jin, shooting him a dirty look and telling him to fuck off before turning back to Hyunjin. I feel braver than usual due to the alcohol and the fact that I’ve just kissed a boy I met yesterday in the middle of a frat party, and so I ask, ‘do you… want to get a room?’ ‘Um… what?’ he asks, blinking, and I feel the humiliation setting in already. ‘I mean, we don’t have to… but I thought you might want t-’ ‘Yes. I do want to.’

We’re both laughing drunkenly as we head up the stairs (it seems the several bottles of Soju he’s had have made him a little tipsy), our hands clasped together. ‘Whose room are we using?’ ‘Um, we can use Namjoon’s. I’m sure he won’t mind – he’ll be proud I’ve finally kissed a boy,’ I say, leading him into Joon’s room. The second we enter, he shuts the door, pushing me up against it and pressing our lips together again, his body against mine and our hands still intertwined against the door. I tangle my free hand into his soft locks, his free hand gently roaming up and down my side, and it’s bliss, the way he touches me. He’s such a good kisser – though it’s not like I have much experience anyway. ‘Did you say I’m your first kiss?’ he asks, lips moving against mine, and I let out a little noise of affirmation, the boy grinning. ‘Good,’ he murmurs, the word making my stomach turn with butterflies.

But it’s like I’m not allowed good things. There’s a loud hammering against the other side of the door, making both of us jump, and I manage to move out of the way just before it flies open, Namjoon storming in, anger all over his face. ‘y/n,’ he says, voice shaking, and I look at him in concern, wondering what’s happened. ‘Joon, are you okay?’ ‘No, I’m not,’ he says, teeth gritted, and it’s then that I realise; he’s angry at me. ‘Oh, did you… should I have asked you if I could use your room? I didn’t think you’d mind, I’m so-’ ‘God, you’re so fucking dense!’ he shouts, making me flinch, and Hyunjin looks between us before saying, ‘y/n, I’m gonna go, you guys speak in private. I’ll… be downstairs.’ I nod, too shocked to speak, and even more shocked at the way Namjoon stares daggers at Hyunjin as he slips past him.

‘What’s your problem? There’s no need to be such a dick to me, or to Hyunjin.’ ‘Oh, so you do know his name? I’m surprised, since you only met him yesterday.’ ‘Stop being so fucking judgy! You’re allowed to fuck anything with a vagina, but I kiss a boy I met yesterday and the world’s ending!’ ‘I’m not judgy, y/n, I’m jealous! Can’t you fucking tell?’ he practically screams, and the words don’t register with me for a moment. ‘Jealous?’ I echo, and he lets out a humourless laugh, sinking down onto his bed. ‘Yes, y/n, jealous. I’ve only been in love with you for two fucking years,’ he mutters, the words hitting me like a ton of bricks. He’s in love with me. My best friend is in love with me. ‘Joon, I-’ ‘You what, y/n?’ he asks angrily, and I’m filled with such rage, I want to slap him.

‘I didn’t know! If you’d told me, I’d understand why you’re so angry! But you didn’t, so stop fucking shouting at me, and being such a dick, and making me feel guilty when I shouldn’t!’ ‘There was no point telling you, because you don’t love me back!’ he shouts, and now I feel even more guilty. ‘I love you, Joon, but as my best frie-’ ‘And that’s why I didn’t tell you! I could deal before, when I was still getting to spend time with you every day, but now that you’re getting all this attention from all these boys, it’s so… difficult.’ ‘You still should have told me,’ I say quietly, and he scoffs. ‘There was no point! It doesn’t change anything! You still don’t like me!’ ‘No, I don’t, but you shouldn’t be angry at me about it.’ ‘I think I have a right to be angry!’ he shouts, and my eyes fill with tears. ‘Well, you don’t! Forgive me, Namjoon, but you’re not exactly a gentleman. Why would I fall for a boy that has a different girl in his bed every day, who plays girls like it’s his job, who’s misogynistic and vulgar and a dog? You don’t get to be such a dick to women and have your best friend fall in love with you, because it doesn’t work that way!’

‘Oh, and Hyunjin isn’t a dick?’ ‘No! He’s sweet, and he’s kind, an-’ ‘You’ve known him for one day, and you’re already rushing upstairs to lose your fucking virginity to him! I thought you’d care more about your first time!’ he shouts, still so judgmental, and I feel myself practically shaking with rage. How dare he behave the way he does and judge me, even though he’s supposedly in love with me? ‘Why do you care who I lose my virginity to?’ ‘Because I’m in love with you! Aren’t you fucking keeping up?’ ‘No, Namjoon, you’re not in love with me. If you were, you’d be happy that I’m happy. Instead you’re possessive and judgemental and douchey!’ We’re shouting at each other now, and anyone outside will be able to hear, but I don’t care. Let them hear how much of a dick he is. ‘I loved who you were, when-’ ‘When what? When boys didn’t talk to me? When you and Jackson were the only boys I spoke to at parties? When I was pure, untouched, innocent? Now, you’re annoyed, because I’m not who you thought I was. I don’t owe you anything, Namjoon, because you can’t expect me to have just known.’

‘Just go, y/n,’ he says, all of the anger in him disappearing, and he sounds so tired, looks so tired. And, as always, I feel guilty. ‘Joon-’ ‘No. Please, just go,’ he says, and when he looks up at me, my heart breaks. His eyes are full of tears, sadness, hurt, but the second they land on mine, they’re filled with love, too. Love that I can’t reciprocate because, he might be my best friend, but he is disgusting to girls. And I can’t love that. I can’t love him. ‘Okay. I’ll go,’ I whisper, turning away and leaving his room before I burst into tears.

148 notes · View notes

babineni · 3 years

Note

Maybe "remember when we met" from the Adoration Prompts for any combination of Team Gilded Vale?

Thank you, sorry it took me ages but anyway have some Edér X Watcher nonsense that involves their almost first time doing-the-do but ends up being... not that. Bc of the Mental Eel™

Anyway below the cut bc of lots of smooching that goes nowhere, depictions of physical discomfort stemming from mental illness and bc it's 2175 words.

Gaura was just done with her evening routine when she heard a knock on the cabin's door. It was an easily recognizable knock, loud but dull, painting the picture of someone strong with a sizeable fist. The Watcher was stunned for a moment, surprised by the sound, then she made her way to the door, lightly smiling to herself. When she opened it, she saw Edér holding on to the handle on the other side.

'Hey,' he greeted her with a smile that carried the slightest hint of relief beneath his blatant adoration.

'Is something wrong?' The Watcher asked, prompting the farmer to blink back at her in confusion. 'You tend to turn in early.'

'Yeah, I was gonna come earlier,' Edér said as he entered the cabin, 'just wanted to make sure I didn't walk in on you and Aloth.'

Gaura closed the door and leaned against it. 'You know, it would've been fine if you did.'

The veteran chuckled as a response. 'Guess, I'm just not used to the whole relationship thing yet,' he shrugged.

'It's only been a few days, Edér, I don't expect you to be.'

'You don't wanna make up for lost time?' He asked, his lips curling into the faintest of smirks. He approached the Watcher by the door and she couldn't help but return the expression, waiting for those lips to claim hers. However Edér simply wrapped an arm around her waist, surprisingly loosely, while he placed his other hand on the door over her head, just out of reach of her flames, and waited for her answer.

'Of course, I do,' Gaura said. 'But I'm taking my time figuring things out about us... And learning how to balance...well... everything,' she laughed somewhat ruefully, wrapping her arms around the farmer's neck. 'These are uncharted waters for me as well, and for Aloth too.'

'Yeah, I know,' his face took on a slight shade of red, barely noticable under his tan. 'He said so when I asked him if I could have this night with you.'

'You asked him but not me, huh,' the Watcher squinted at him with feigned suspicion.

'Right before I came in, yeah,' he leaned in closer. 'Now I'm asking you.'

Gaura watched him for a moment, savoring his anticipation. Then she closed the gap between them as an answer. Edér kissed back slower than she expected and with a tenderness so intense, it left her awkwardly chuckling against his lips.

'Let's get you nice and fireproof first,' she said pulling away and freeing herself the roomy cage formed by his arms. She ran her fingers along her mouth, trying to make sense of the curious sense of surprise that was evoked in her, but she reached her desk in a few steps, and as she opened the drawer and took out a vial of Bulwark Against the Elements potion, she took the feeling within in her and placed it in an imaginary drawer in her mind. Then she closed both drawers with the same motion then turned around with a smile only to find Edér standing right behind her.

'Here,' she opened the vial and offered it to the farmer. He grimaced at the small bottle, then instead of simply taking it, he wrapped his hand around Gaura's and guided the vial to his lips. He closed his eyes reverently as he drank, and the sight sent a flutter down the Watcher's scalp, down her spine, right to some place within her, near the base of her waist, where a small kernel of uncomfortable softness took root. Her hand was so small in his... She was aware of Edér's size, of course, but... not quite like this. She has never felt small in his presence before.

'Let me just check if this worked real quick,' he put the bottle on the desk behind Gaura, backing her against it. She bit her lip as he ran his hand along her neck to the back of her head. But it was just a single swipe at her flames, nothing more. He let out a self-deprecating chuckle when the flames moved back into place a moment later. 'Figures,' he said as he leaned over the Watcher's neck and left a gentle, but lingering kiss on it. She braced herself, grabbing the desk behind her right, waiting for an escalation, readying herself for the veteran's momentum, that would turn each kiss of his more forceful the last. But then Edér left another kiss on her neck, and another, all of which were just as tender as the last one. Gaura felt the softness in her spread, a sense of fragility crawling up her sides and her back, weakening her to an immeasurable weight pushing down on her shoulder.

'Wait, not here,' she said, lightly pushing Edér away. 'The bed is right there,' she inclined with her head towards it, and let out a quick, relieved sigh when he turned around to follow her gaze. She took hold of his hand and pushed past him, trying to guide him, but he dragged her pack with a single pull, letting her fall against his chest. Gaura laughed as she buried her face in it.

This was what she expected of him, this carefree, uncontrolled intimacy, the comfort expressed by him not watching his strength around her. The trust he placed in her strength by doing so.

'You good?' A question came from above her and Gaura replied by beaming up at Edér.

'More than good,' she said craning her neck towards him and leaving a peck on his lower lip, trying to coax him into claiming her lips in turn.

The veteran obliged her and he guided her hands behind his head. He reached below her legs and hoisted her up, breaking the kiss, and prompting her to hold on to him with arms and legs wrapped around him.

'Show off,' a pleased grin spread on the Watcher's face.

'You're one to talk,' Edér said as he carried her to the bed and placed her on it carefully.

The Watcher let out a groan under him then closed the gap between them again. She kissed hím ravenously, with her hands pawing at his shirt, trying to pull it off him. But Edér didn't follow her pace. He kissed back slowly, and his hands moved right to hers and moved them over her head. He didn't put effort trying pin them down there, he just held them as he pulled away. And yet, Gaura felt... powerless to fight back.

'Relax, we got the whole night,' Edér smiled down at her.

'Afraid I would wear you out too quickly?' Gaura hid her growing discomfort under a challenging smirk.'Or that I couldn't handle you?'

'Aw, I know you could. Just don't want you to,' he said as he leaned down and left a kiss on her forehead. 'Don't want you to handle anything. I'm gonna take real good care of you.'

And with the impact of his lips on her skin, came the feeling of frailness in her rushing through her. Gaura shut her eyes tight and tried to fight the sensation but with each kiss Edér left on her cheek, her jaw, her collarbone, she seemed to have felt weaker, and the tension in her shoulders and in her chest felt more crushing.

'Edér, please,' she whispered, her hands darting to his shoulders, clutching on to him, unable to decide if she wanted to hold on to him or push him away.

'You... Are you alright?' She heard a question.

'I... No... I don't know.'

The next moment she felt Edér pry her legs around his waist off himself, and moved next to her on the bed. Gaura only opened her eyes when she felt the bed shift under her at the pressure of the farmer lying down. She still could only look at him for a fleeting moment, then she buried her face in her hands and hoped the flutter of her flames didn't give away her shame.

'I... I don't know what just happened. This is not a regular occurance, I swear.'

'Hey,' Edér reached for her wrist and pulled her hand away from her face. 'Look at me,' he spoke softly and the Watcher slowly turned towards him. 'Just... tell me what's wrong.'

'I don't know if I can. It... It doesn't make any sense to me either.'

'Yeah... I know how that feels.' Edér let go of her and turned his attention to the ceiling. The two of them lied side by side for a while and Gaura's strange panic eased with each moment.

'I wasn't ready for you, I guess,' she said eventually. 'Or at least not like this... Not this... Soft and gentle, I... I think I just couldn't process it.'

'Ain't that how you like things? I thought... since Aloth is... Never mind,' the Watcher could see Edér getting flushed.

'Yeah, but he's Aloth. I don't hold you to the same standard. Or... Well, I do but...' she sighed and pinched the birdge of her nose, stifling a curse she was aiming at herself. 'When he's gentle with me, I feel like he's comfortable around me. That he feels safe enough to lose himself in me and that I'm strong enough to be his shelter. But with you... I feel that way when you pat me on the back so hard I feel it in my toes. I feel that way when you hug me so tight you could crush my soul. I guess, I was just... expecting that.'

'You say that as if I ain't ever been gentle with you,' the farmer grumbled.

'You have, when you were comforting me,' Gaura turned towards him and pushed herself up by the elbow. 'I asked you for that.'

'You never had to ask.' Edér frowned up at her. There was a glint of genuine perplexion in his eyes. 'For someone whose whole deal is saving souls left and right, you sure got some weird ideas about comfort,' he sat up, 'and maybe if you learned to accept it, you wouldn't be a mess when it's given for the Hel of it.'

The Watcher looked up at him, and opened her mouth to speak. But there were no words coming out. She blinked at him, then away from him, then she plopped down on the bed and turned away with her whole body. She reached for her blanket before she realized she couldn't wrap herself in it while Edér was sitting on it behind her. She looked at her slightly outstretched hand and she noticed the outlines of it became blurry. Both from her trembling and from the tears gathering in her eyes. She pulled the hand back to her chest and as she scratched at the spot above her chimes, she tried to recall a time she didn't take her endurance for granted. When she didn't encourage others to do the same. When she didn't take on burdens after burdens, convincing herself she didn't feel the weight of them until she no longer could ignore it. When she wasn't terrified of being vulnerable.

A few moments passed as she was musing, then she felt an arm being wrapped around her belly. She took a deep breath and allowed the feeling of fragility come. She will be alright, she told herself, she has Edér with her. Gaura placed her hand on his, and caressed him with her thumb. He left a kiss on her shoulder and nuzzled her neck in turn.

'Remember the first time we met?' Edér asked. 'Not when I joined you proper, but before that.'

The Watcher nodded but otherwise stayed silent.

'I remember what you told me. You said... you needed someone to make you feel better. And... then you just went ahead and made the whole damn nation feel better,' he chuckled. 'That includes me, goes without saying. Still... that moment keeps gnawing at me. I know you meant a healer or one of those animancer folks. I know you didn't mean me. But... Been trying to be someone like that for you,' he sighed. 'I'm sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you.'

'Don't apologize,' Gaura sniffled. 'I... I needed this. I didn't know but I needed this. I should be the one apologizing. I was really unfair to you, I'm sorry.'

'Hmmm, maybe I'll hold on to my forgiveness a bit. Reckon, I'd make you work for it a bit,' he hummed against her ear teasingly.

The Watcher let out a weak laugh at that, but it lifted a great weight off her heart.

'First thing tomorrow,' she said, then a frustrated groan left her. 'Right before I have this talk with Aloth as well.'

'Need me to be there with you for that?'

Gaura looked at her hand on Edér's, listened to his breathing by her ear, and felt the warmth of his chest against her back. 'Yes, please. I'll always need you,' she said and she realized the comfort of her own words.

#pillars of eternity #edér teylecg #edér x watcher #team gilded vale mentioned #gaura sélfolgh #oc fic: gaura #Wrytinge™#who needs consistent character building across one-shots when you can have angst instead

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Written In The Stars CXIV (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Book 6 is oficially finished but I still have a lot of editing to do bc I still don’t like it much jsdjs -Danny

Words: 3,387

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listent to: ‘Say Something’ -by A Great Big World

Chapter Twelve: The New Routine.

Mel was making zero progress on Occlumency, but she was quite good at Legilimency.

She blamed this on the fact that she was now having one lesson every two weeks instead of once a week, which made her progress go slower.

Thankfully though, Dumbledore hadn't mentioned his brother at all, so she assumed her grandad had kept things to himself. On Monday, the girl walked into the common room and noticed a small group of her friends around the notice board.

— by order of—

The High Inquisitor of Hogwarts

All Student Organizations, Societies, Teams, Groups, and Clubs are henceforth disbanded.

An Organization, Society, Team, Group, or Club is hereby defined as a regular meeting of three or more students.

Permission to re-form may be sought from the High Inquisitor (Professor Umbridge)...

Mel stormed out of the place. She didn't speak until she reached the Gryffindor table at the Great Hall. Fred, George, Neville, Ginny and Dean sat around her.

"We didn't say a thing."

"We promise, Mel."

"I know you didn't," She said. "Hermione jinxed the parchment you signed, she told me yesterday. You wouldn't be all lively have you been the ones to blame."

"What was supposed to happen?"

"Dunno, but it was supposed to hurt and it was supposed to be noticeable," She forced a spoonful of cereal down her throat, just to have something to do and calm her spirits.

"No one looks injured," Ginny looked around the Great Hall. "Most of the people that were in the meeting are here, but we would've heard if any had woken up with their faces all messed up, right?"

Mel dropped her spoon.

"I told Hermione this would happen! If my Grandfather wasn't the one–"

"Your grandfather?" Neville asked.

"–Then someone heard us, someone who clearly doesn't want us to learn," She ignored Neville's question.

Hermione, Harry and Ron sat close to the group, immediately they all dropped questions on them as well.

"Did you see it?"

"D'you reckon she knows?"

"What are we going to do?"

"We're going to do it anyway, of course," Harry looked at her. "If that's okay with you."

"Why wouldn't it be?" She asked grumpily. "Oh, how I'm wishing to vanish that silly grin of the Toad's face..."

"Knew you'd say that," George hit Harry's arm lightly.

"The prefects as well?" said Fred, looking over at Ron and Hermione.

"Of course."

"Here comes Ernie and Hannah Abbott," said Ron worryingly. "And those Ravenclaw blokes and Smith... and no one looks very spotty."

"Never mind spots, the idiots can't come over here now, it'll look really suspicious — sit down!" She gestured to rejoin their tables. "Later! We'll — talk — to — you — later!"

"I'll take care of them," Mel got up.

"I'll tell Michael," said Ginny, getting up as well. "The fool, honestly... are you all right?"

"Peachy," She replied dryly.

"I saw the way Cho and Harry were ogling at each other the day of the meeting... I'm sorry."

"I don't care," Mel raised a brow, still looking forward. "I'm actually considering asking Fred on a date, you know?"

Before she could hear Ginny's reaction, she quickly approached Hannah and Ernie.

"Morning, guys!" Mel smiled tightly, putting her arms around their shoulders. "Come, let's go to your table..."

"Mel, have you seen–?"

"I have," She insisted, turning them around gently. "Now let's go to your table so we can talk about it calmly..."

"We need permission to re-form the Quidditch team," Ron told her as soon as they sat down to hear Binn's lecture"

"I know, it said so in the parchment," Mel gave him a sorrowful look. "Don't worry Ron, she can't forbid the team to play, it would be unfair, and as long as Harry doesn't give her more reasons to punish him everything will turn out fine."

"Did Ernie and Hannah gave you trouble?"

"Not at all, they were quite understanding," She smiled softly. "I like them, they're good... Very discrete as well, promised they would let their friends know but only when they were sure they were the only ones listening, so you can cross Zach out of your list, he didn't spill the potion."

Twenty minutes into the lesson Hedwig appeared in the window seal, Harry went to get her and came back with a dreadful discovery.

"Oh, Merlin..." Mel gasped in horror.

The bird's wing was twisted in a way it shouldn't have been possible. It was obvious that she was not okay.

Harry stood up and told Professor Bins he didn't feel well, and he needed to go to the hospital wing. Most of their classmates glanced curiously at them but didn't stop him from leaving. The expression on his face was enough to break her heart. Harry was extremely worried about Hedwig, and she was too.

She wondered how was he taking all the news, must've been frustrating for him, after being so excited about standing up for what he believed in. She tried to talk to him after breakfast, but the words simply didn't come, she felt stuck, not knowing how to interact with him anymore.

"Poor Hedwig!" Ron frowned. "It's weird, she'd never been injured before, had she? D'you reckon she was attacked by another animal?"

"This is too much of a coincidence," Mel shook her head, "first the notice board, now this... they're watching us, every form of communication..."

Then it occurred to her. Not every form of communication was being watched, she still had one.

"I need to talk to Erick," She rummaged through her pockets and pulled out her watch.

"Why him?" Ron rolled his eyes. "Do you really think he has the solution for everything?"

"No you dunce," Mel scowled at him. "But for this particular problem, he does..."

She tapped the front of her watch with her wand, then she closed it and held onto it tightly.

"I hope so, at least."

"Who's the letter from anyway?" asked Ron, taking the note from Harry.

"Snuffles," said Harry quietly.

" 'Same time, same place'? Does he mean the fire in the common room?"

"Obviously," said Hermione, also reading the note. She looked uneasy. "I just hope nobody else has read this..."

"But it was still sealed and everything, and nobody would understand what it meant if they didn't know where we'd spoken to him before, would they?"

"I guess so..." Mel put a hand in her pocket and touched her watch. She was hoping her friend could make it on time. "We need to be smarter, though. She clearly has gone through it all."

"It wouldn't be exactly difficult to reseal the scroll by magic..." Hermione agreed. "And if anyone's watching the Floo Network... but I don't really see how we can warn him not to come without that being intercepted too!"

Draco Malfoy was standing just outside Snape's classroom door, waving around a piece of parchment and talking in the tone Mel knew he only used when he wanted to show off, which was always.

"Yeah, Umbridge gave the Slytherin Quidditch team permission to continue playing straight away, I went to ask her first thing this morning. Well, it was pretty much automatic, I mean, she knows my father really well, he's always popping in and out of the Ministry... It'll be interesting to see whether Gryffindor are allowed to keep playing, won't it?"

"Don't rise," Hermione whispered. "It's what he wants..."

"I mean, if it's a question of influence with the Ministry, I don't think they've got much chance... From what my father says, they've been looking for an excuse to sack Arthur Weasley for years... And as for Potter... My father says it's a matter of time before the Ministry has him carted off to St. Mungo's... apparently, they've got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic... reckon the Dumbledores would feel at home there as well."

Before Mel could stop him, Neville launched himself towards the Slytherins.

"Neville, no!" Harry seized the back of Neville's robes. Malfoy could not believe his eyes. "Help me!"

Crabbe and Goyle closed in front of Malfoy. Mel stepped forward, trying to stand as tall as she could. Ron grabbed the boy's arms and he and Harry dragged Neville away.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," Mel said quietly, so calm and composed she surprised herself. "You're way slower than me even with your wands ready. Get lost."

"Not... funny... don't... Mungo's... show... him..." She heard Neville panting behind her.

"I know, Neville," She said, though she kept her eyes fixed on the Slytherin boys. "He didn't mean to be so stupid. Right, Malfoy? Aren't you going to ask them to stop, Prefect?"

Malfoy, maybe because he could sense he wouldn't be able to win this fight, growled to Crabbe and Goyle to step back.

"Fighting, Potter, Weasley, Longbottom?" Snape walked out of the dungeons.

Mel turned to the boys and mouthed 'let him go!'. The boys obeyed her right away.

"He was feeling ill, Professor," She turned around and held Snape's sneer.

"Inside. All of you." He said shortly before entering his dungeon again.

Neville turned to look at his friends in a way he'd never done before.

"I had to stop you," Harry said slowly, picking up their friend's bag. "Crabbe and Goyle would've torn you apart."

"I would never let that happen," Mel walked up to Neville and put a hand on his shoulder. "You hear me, Nev? I would never."

Neville remained quiet, he brushed off her hand and snatched his bag away from Harry's grip. Entering the room in a flash.

"What in the name of Merlin," said Ron in awe, "was that about?"

Harry and Mel were aware of Neville's parents, but it was still a secret, much like every thing in her life right now. Harry said nothing, he was looking at her with a strange scowl, she felt like he was almost mad she had decided to step in. Mel didn't care about it, she let out a tired sigh.

"Everyone has their limits, Ron. Malfoy found his..."

She passed the table she would usually occupy with the group and instead joined Neville, thinking he would be needing extra help being too distracted to pay attention to the lesson.

"I don't need–"

"No need to act all tough and proud," Mel sat down determinedly. "I'm not here to pity you. I'm here to make sure you don't blow up anything."

He lowered his gaze to his cauldron, he didn't try to usher her away after that.

"You will notice," said Snape suddenly, "that we have a guest with us today."

Umbridge was sitting at the darkest corner of the dungeon, it surprised her how she hadn't noticed her there, even though she was wearing her usual blinding pick robes.

"We are continuing with our Strengthening Solutions today, you will find your mixtures as you left them last lesson, if correctly made they should have matured well over the weekend — instructions... on the board. Carry on."

Mel poured her whole attention on her work, she made sure Neville could be a decent student this time as well. She would glance from time to time to Umbridge, trying to guess what she was doing.

"Well, the class seems fairly advanced for their level," Umbridge commented to Snape. "Though I would question whether it is advisable to teach them a potion like the Strengthening Solution. I think the Ministry would prefer it if that was removed from the syllabus. Now... how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?"

"Fourteen years."

"You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?" Professor Umbridge asked Snape.

"Yes," said Snape quietly.

"But you were unsuccessful?"

"Obviously."

"And you have applied regularly for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?"

"Yes..."

"Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?"

"Because Snape's a git," Mel mumbled under her breath.

"I suggest you ask him," said Snape dryly.

"Oh I shall," Professor Umbridge smiled.

"I suppose this is relevant?"

"Oh yes. Yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers' — er — backgrounds..."

"Of course they cared about their backgrounds now," Mel scoffed, still talking in a whisper. "They care about their hobbies, don't they? If they have a knack for fighting governments during the weekends? What a bunch of–"

"Mel, your potion," Neville warned her, noticing the way it was starting to show a green smoke.

"Woops!" She quickly did some arrangements, and the potion was back to normal. "Thanks, Neville."

"I reckon I did well enough in today's lesson!" Neville said proudly, beaming at her. "Thank you for your help..."

"It was a pleasure," She smiled back.

"Sorry for Harry though... you saw how Snape vanished his potion again?"

"Yeah," Mel frowned. "What a twat, but Harry should really try harder..."

"It's weird to hear you talk about him like that," Neville said innocently. "You usually are the first to defend him..."

"I'm the first to defend any of you," She corrected. "I'm not going to support him blindly– I mean, you did well today and you were having a bad morning too, right?"

Neville's smile faded.

"Reckon so, yeah..."

"Hey, I know it's not my place but..." She pondered how to say it without scaring him away. "Whatever got you all worked up, well, I'm always here if you need to talk. You're my friend as much as Harry or Ron..."

When they reached the marble staircase Mel remembered she had a meeting to attend, so she said goodbye to Neville and told him she would meet him in Divination. She ran to the very back of the library and found Erick standing in the corner, peering over a shelf towards the hall. Mel tiptoed until she was right behind him and scared him.

Erick jumped, hitting the side of his face on the edge of the bookshelf. The boy cursed rather loudly and stepped back, a hand rubbing his cheek.

"What is your problem?!"

"Lower your voice!" Mel said in horror. "I'm so sorry! Let me see your face–"

"Don't–"

"C'mon, I can help!"

Mel pulled his hand away and tilted his face towards the light. His cheek was slightly red, but it was uninjured.

"I don't think it'll bruise..." She said, getting closer to him. "What in the name of Godric were you doing? Who are you stalking?"

"I'm not stalking anyone," He complained. "I was... Lately I've been– Move away, will you? You're making me nervous..."

He pushed her aside gently and moved towards the nearest table.

"Let's make this quick," He told her, sitting down. "I want to eat something before Potions, Merlin knows I need it..."

Mel quickly told him about Hedwig and how they were obviously being watched after their meeting in Hogsmeade, Erick listened so intently that he even forgot about making his usual sarcastic remarks, once she ended, he half-smiled.

"You already found a solution, didn't you?"

Mel put her pocket watch on the table and looked at him with resolution.

"We want to keep going," She pointed to the little object on the table. "And we need something like this to spread the news safely and with the certainty that only those who belong in the group are the ones getting it."

"You clever girl..." Erick supported both arms on the table and stared at the watch, his brain already going a thousand miles per hour. "What do you need?"

"Well, for starters, I need to know the charm."

"It'll be easy, you're talented enough– Protean charm, don't forget it."

"We need something like this," She lifted the watch and stared at it. "But people carrying similar watches around the school would be too suspicions... and they're not exactly cheap..."

"You don't need to buy several of the same," Erick replied. "Just reproduce one."

"What?" Mel blinked.

Erick rolled his eyes.

"A doubling charm, you goose. Learn how to do it and you'll get copies of anything in the blink of an eye."

"Oh! Okay..." She smiled.

"Tell Hermione about it," Erick peered over her shoulder anxiously. "I would help you, but we can't take risks and I rather not know a lot about your plans in case... you know..."

"Yes," Mel nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem," He nodded, the concern coming back to his features.

"It's everything okay?"

"What? Why?" He blinked, stepping away from the table. "I'm fine, just tired... haven't slept well."

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter..."

"Erick..." She insisted, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stay in place.

He looked everywhere but her, until finally, Erick let out a strange noise that sounded like half a growl and he rubbed his eyes furiously before pushing her hand away and starting to speak.

"My Grandad..."

Mel felt something heavy on her chest and nodded in understanding.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. If it helps... I'm right here."

He nodded, eyes fixed on the ground.

"I know."

Mel continued with her day, spending most of it with Neville to make sure Malfoy wouldn't take advantage of him if he were to find him alone.

Back in the common room, she saw no reason not to waste her night away with the twins, who were currently showing to a curious crowd their newest products. Her mind had started to drift to what she'd said to Ginny a few hours earlier, but was soon interrupted when she witnessed Fred vomiting into a bucket and forcing a purple candy down his throat.

She was still having fun though, collecting the money and giving the Skiving Snackbox to their new owners. Lee Jordan and George Weasley would take turns with Fred so he wouldn't get all weak from the constant vomiting. She was highly thankful for the vanishing spell, otherwise, that bucket would be beyond disgusting.

Hermione would constantly glare at her and scoff, but Mel smiled innocently through it all. It wasn't her fault what the twins were doing, and they were technically doing nothing against the rules. Her housemates needed this kind of entertainment considering the shitty year they were all having.

"Here's your part, lady," Fred held out a small bunch of sickles for her to take. The crowd had dispersed a while ago, and they've been counting their money before going to bed.

Mel frowned and pushed it back.

"What are you talking about?"

"You were the beautiful assistant back there!" Fred said. "Half of our sells occurred just because you were the one taking the money– Am I wrong, George?"

"Those third-years have it bad for you, Lady," George smirked.

"You've become quite popular overnight," Lee raised a brow. "Don't you remember what the older Gryffindors used to say?"

"Oh yes," Mel laughed. "I was the little feral thing, wasn't I? They would compare me to peeves and all... can't say I miss it."

"You were never like Peeves, though," Fred smiled. "Peeves is quieter."

"Sod off!" She exclaimed over the boys' laughter. "I've changed, haven't I? Didn't really think about it until now..."

"Well, you don't yell at strangers in the halls anymore..."

"And you don't want to fight everyone either..."

"I did all that for stupid reasons," Mel glanced towards Harry. "Really stupid reasons, if you ask me..."

The boys shared a knowing look. Everyone knew at this point that asking her about what had happened between Harry and her was useless, neither of them would say a thing.

"Time for bed, I s'pose," George yawned, getting up from his chair.

"You're sure you don't want this?" Fred raised a brow, showing her the money one last time.

"I don't need it, Fred."

"No need to brag about it," Lee scoffed, taking the money. "It's mine, then."

"Hey!" Fred slapped the back of his head. "Give it back! We're gonna split it!"

They continued their bickering as they disappeared behind the door to the boys' dormitory. Mel had a lazy smile on her face than soon worn out as she realized she'd been left alone in the room with Hermione, Ron and Harry. She got up slowly and made her way towards them.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @sarcasticallywitty15 @21bruhs

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic

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fearfulkittenwrites · 4 years

Text

Nighmares/Hallucinations

Word count: 1353

Notes: Hello! I don't have much to say except that I hope the anon likes it bc I think I might have taken the request a little too freely, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't write anything other than this, for some reason I just scrapped everything bc it sounded horrible. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

(This is a fill for @3ambird‘s batfam bingo!)

Duke found himself staring at the ceiling again. His heart was no longer racing, but he wouldn’t exactly say that he was calm either. This is the moment after the end of a race you lost, when all of the adrenaline is starting to wear off and the hopelessness sets in. That’s it. You’re out of the competition, buddy.

Except that this isn’t a race, and Duke hasn’t just lost his spot for the finals. He had simply lost sleep.

He gets up, silently opening the door so as not to wake anyone up. As he walks through the hallway, he raises an eyebrow when he finds a sleepy (and now paralized) Damian with a hand on Dick’s doorknob.

“Say a word, and I’ll cut off your tongue, Thomas.” He whispers threateningly.

Duke puts his hands up and pretends he’s zipping his mouth up. Damian nods and slides into the room.

Duke keeps walking heading out for the balcony in the living room of the second floor. It was always so bright, illuminated by the stars and the moon, and he didn’t even need to turn on any lights in clearer nights such as this one. It really was a pity that this sky was only visible in the outskirts of Gotham. The people here suffer so much, it would be only fair the sky would be able to bring them some comfort before bed, but just as everything else, it seemed to be a privilege for the richest.

“Hey,” Jason greets Duke from the edge of the balcony, startling the boy a little “What are you doing up, punk?” He smirks.

“Could ask you the same question.” Duke shoots back, leaning forward against the handrails.

“Yeah, but I asked you first.” Jason says, laughing. The smell of his minty gum hits Duke’s face hard, almost making him sick.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He shrugs.

“That’s a bit clear.” Jason laughs again, and more of the gum’s minty scent flows through the air. Duke takes a step back.

“God Jason, what’s with the dreadful gum?”

“Don’t like it?” He smiles, blowing in the teen’s direction. He laughs as Duke fans his breath away.

“No. It’s making me sick.” He frowns.

“Well, sorry, but I really can’t help it.” He raises his shoulders “I’m trying to quit smoking again. This is better than cigar smoke, I’m sure.”

“Actually, yes.” Duke raises his eyebrows “And I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah, well, I died once and it was dreadful enough.” Jason shrugs “If I’m gonna die again, I just hope it’s not from lung cancer or a heart attack. Besides, I don’t wanna risk the one good part of me if y’know what I’m saying.” He exaggeratedly winks and points down at his crotch.

Duke laughs, rubbing his face at the nonsense.

“But you didn’t answer my question, not really.” Jason tries again “What’s keeping you up?”

“What do you care?” Duke smiles, but he’s a bit confused. Jason frowns.

“You’re my brother.” He says “What do you mean ‘What do I care’, is Dick the only one allowed to be caring in this house now?”

“I guess not.” Duke raises an eyebrow “I just never took you for the type to want to chit chat at four in the morning.” Jason stares at him blankly, annoyed “Alright, alright!” He puts his hands up “I’ve been having some pretty bad nightmares since the last time with Scarecrow, that’s all.”

“Ah, I get it.” Jason nods, supporting his weight on the handrails as he looks up to the starry sky “I’m always having my fair share of nightmares too.” He pauses to chew at his gum for a while, considering his next words “I guess this is where I should say it gets better, right?”

Duke chuckles.

“Yeah, probably.”

“Well, I can’t.” Jason hunches over, eyes dropping to the pale green grass lit by the moonlight “I don’t think I need to lie about this to you, kid.”

“You’re not that much older than me.” Duke complains “But yeah, I don’t think you do.”

“It’s enough of a difference for me.” Jason smirks at the boy “And in all honesty, I’ve never really been as good as Dick with the comforting talks.” He directs his gaze to the horizon, and God knows where his eyes are focusing right now “The thing is, when we live the way we do, we all get a little fucked up, for good. If nightmares are what we have to deal with, then, hell, I think we have it easy.” Jason spits his gum out, somehow hitting the trash can under them perfectly. He sighs again “Tim has panic attacks sometimes. Cass never learned how to read and still has problems communicating. Dick seems positive and productive to an outsider, but he struggles with anxiety and God knows how many other undiagnosed mental illnesses. Damian clearly has PTSD, even if he refuses to talk about it.” Jason shrugged.

“Well, I can’t assume that him dying could’ve been any easier.” Duke says. Jason huffs out a sad laugh.

“No. I mean, yeah, but also, no.” Duke frowns at the comment “He grew up in the League of Assassins. You weren’t here before, but you had to be blind not to see it.”

“Fair enough.” Duke says “But man, please don’t act as if you’re not just as fucked up, if not more.”

“I guess so.” He shrugs again “I just think I know how to hide it a bit better.” He pulls out the gum box, analyzing it “Or at least I used to.” Jason pulls out another gum and pops it in his mouth.

“You never really did.” Duek replies softly “You just went away so no one would see it.”

Jason bites the insides of his mouth for a moment.

“It’s not like anyone would want to see it, or even be able to help me.” Duke wants to say something, wants to yell at Jason and say that they love him very much, but he knows he’s right, to some extent. Everyone was a bit too fucked up to be able to pick him up properly “So you know... Roy and Kory... helped. As much as they could. Bizarro and Artemis too.” He chews a bit, eyes fixated on the trash can “I didn’t... completely give up on myself. I just... y’know, you can’t find everything at home.” He shakes his head for a moment “God, I’m supposed to be helping you... forget it, I’m not even making any sense.”

“No, you’re making perfect sense.” Duke says “And I’m not a child. You’re awake too, and I bet it must have something to do with your own nightmares.” He smiles softly “We can help each other.”

“Yeah, sure.” Jason looks at him again, smiling.

There’s a weird silence for a moment. Neither of them want to talk about it, and both of them know it.

“I’m... I’m really glad you’re here.” Jason starts, eyes fixated on the horizon again “I know I don’t always show it but I really am happy to call you my brother. It’s... a refreshing change of pace from all of those idiots.” He laughs, mostly to try and dissipate the feeling that he gets whenever he’s baring his heart. Duke laughs with him.

“Thank you.” He says “I’m happy to call you brother too.”

“Okay, come here.” Jason smiles, pulling Duke into what starts out as an awkward and overtly heterossexual hug.

But then both of them realize that they are alone. There’s no one there to judge. And Duke leans into his brother, pressing his chin on Jason’s shoulder as the older man allows himself to pull him closer, resting his cheek on the top of Duke’s head.

“I love you, man.” Jason says “And life is too short for me not to say it.”

“I love you too.” Duke replies “And yes, but please stretch it out for as long as you can. It’d be painful to live on a planet that doesn’t have Jason Todd and his trademark awful minty breath on my face.”

Hey! If you liked this, consider rebloging, pretty please? It helps spreading my work so more people can read it, as oposed to the notes. Regardless, thank you for reading, I hope you liked it!

#Duke Thomas #Jason Todd #batfamily #Signal #Red Hood #fanfic #fanfiction #writing

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for-ests · 5 years

Text

Always Enough- Peter Parker x Reader

Okay so this imagine was an anon request that I had previously posted, but I accidentally deleted. I didn't mean to, so here’s a re-upload. Happy finals & sorry my dumbass clicked the wrong button on tumblr mobile because im stupid

Summary (bc the request deleted w/ the post): The reader realizes she had been neglecting Peter because she was stressed over school. Peter thinks there might be another reason because she has become distant. Confrontation and angst follows!

Word count: 2, 360

✭♡✭♡✭♡✭

Finals were a killer, especially for a nursing major like yourself. The stress of it all made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Cry for hours until you couldn't cry no more.

But that wasn't an option. What you dreamed of becoming, something simple, yet incredibly difficult, was growing out of reach. Your hours of studying had led you nowhere, only to barely tangible grades. Grades that were barely above average. You were disappointed, discouraged, and running out of options.

What else would you do with your life? Becoming a nurse was the only thing you had ever wanted to be, it was all you knew. Ever since aliens rained in the sky, your only motive was to help the ones who couldn't help themselves. But how could you ever hope to do that when you couldn't pass biochem?

What didn't help your anxious mind was the house you had to stress over, and your minimum wage restaurant job that didn't add to your required expertise. Tears welled in your eyes as you remembered you had to lay a payment down on your ever-increasing student loans. Maybe college wasn't for you. Perhaps it was never meant to be. Your summer money was running out and fast.

Just breathe. You repeated. I don't have time to cry.

You could cry after you studied. And right now, you had barely glanced at your flashcards for more than ten minutes. It seemed like you were paralyzed, sitting in bed with your flashcards scattered around you, all of them laid out and waiting for involvement.

Just as you were about to pick up the first card, your phone buzzed beside you. Instinctively, you glanced at it, your heart dropping when you saw Peter's name flash across the screen.

Date. You had a date night, and you forgot.

"Fuck!" You cursed out loud, the tears you had tried so hard to control seeming to burst over your eyelids. How could you forget?

Peter: I'll be there in 15 minutes :D

You replied immediately, glancing at yourself in the phone's reflection. You looked terrible and distraught beyond compare.

Y/N: Peter…im so sorry I forgot, i'm not ready

Peter: oh

Y/N: i have a huge exam soon, maybe its for the best that we rain check? i'm sorry I know ive done this before but im really stressed about it

Peter: we havent talked for days, y/n, i think theres more going on than what youre telling me

Y/N: what? of course not wtf

Peter: im coming over anyways, ill be there soon

Y/N: why?

Peter: we have to talk.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach. Those words were what you had been dreading, and all focus you had managed to gather vanished into thin air. You knew you had been neglecting Peter's affections. Even if every fiber in your being wanted to make him the single most important thing in your life.

It had been almost a week since you'd seen him, and honestly, it was painful in the most innocent way.

But Peter didn't have to worry like you did. He was gifted and already had his entire life ahead of him, set in the middle of Stark industries. But you never asked for a handout, you never asked for help. Even though you knew he was the smartest young man around. You were proud to be his, and the thought of that disappearing was more detrimental to you that failing your upcoming exam.

Y/N: ok, front door is open

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at this point. You had been with Peter for over a year and had gone without seeing him for longer, but he was right. This time was different. This was the third date you had canceled without wanting to, but sometimes apologizing wasn't enough. Peter deserved a lengthy explanation of what you were really going through.

You were so used to holding back your emotions, that times like this were an occasional reoccurrence. You had always been so afraid of unloading your burdens onto others that you still sometimes forgot that having a boyfriend came with that perk. He was still going to love and cherish you if you asked for help and advice. Hell, you needed to realize that he wanted to.

That was a factor of why you were so in love with Peter. He always listened, and sometimes, even push the truth out of you when he could tell you needed it.

"You're already crying, huh." A sad smile was on Peter's face as he opened the door. His sudden appearance startled you, and you managed to chuckle despite the circumstances.

"You know me." You sniffled, immediately embarrassed by the state he had caught you in. Instinctively, you brushed your hair to the side and dabbed the tears from under your eyes. You could feel the remnants of Make-up drying to your skin.

"I didn't mean to ruin your study-"

"But we need to talk." You finished, shoving your school supplies to the edge of the bed. You made enough room, so he was able to sit comfortably.

Slightly embarrassed, you kept your gaze averted as best as you could. Just Peter's presence made your heart flutter, and a part of you was trying to prepare for the worst. You might really lose him this time. And for what? Yes, school was incredibly important, so, so important. But so was Peter, and you needed to find a balance.

Your silence was enough to beckon Peter's thoughts into the open.

"I just need to make sure you're still serious… about us." His voice was soft as if it was struggling to stay neutral.

Finally, gaining the courage to look at him, you locked eyes. Peter's gaze was heavy and forthcoming, and it took all of your willpower to swallow the knot in your throat.

"Of course, I am." The conviction was entirely evident in your tone. So much so, that Peter fell silent. His accusations seemed to die in his throat, but he knew that if he didn't get them out now, they would creep back to him later.

"It's hard to tell sometimes," Peter muttered, unable to gaze at your confused expression. You looked so hurt.

Your silence beckoned him to continue.

"I haven't properly talked with you in a week. You've canceled our last three dates… it seems like you never want to hang out with me anymore."

Peter winced. He was a grown man, and he sounded like a child. Yet, he had let so many things slide, hoping you would come around, hoping you would make it up to him. Perhaps he had been selfish to only think of himself in the relationship. He failed to realize that maybe in attempts to please him, you were putting your own future on the line.

"I know you're going through a lot, but you can't even seem to talk about it." Peter's shoulders felt tense, his eyebrows knitting together in an agitated expression. His leg was bouncing up and down uncontrollably. He looked like he was about to burst.

"I'm sorry." You said, trying to swallow the knot in your throat. Pausing, you tried to gather your thoughts into cohesive sentences that would soothe his anxious mind.

"There's nobody else, right?" He suddenly blurted, actually turning his head to look at you. Insecurity was glazed in his eyes for the first time.

"Why would you even think that?" You said, startled. The question felt as if he had shoved your head underwater and held it there just long enough for you to choke on the liquid.

His expression was blank for the first time. Vulnerability at its finest. "My life isn't perfect, you know. I overthink just like you. I need reassurance."

Peter was so calm, so calm that it worried you. Though you were already afraid of how this conversation would go, it hurt you to realize that this conversation was the result of your actions. You failed to make Peter feel special like you had promised. Like he had promised you. Relationships go both ways, and for the last couple of weeks, it had only gone one.

"No, Peter. There will never be anyone else."

He sighed, relaxing slightly. "You've been acting weird. I don't really know what to think."

"I told you a billion times, I'm studying. After work, that's literally all I do. And I need to focus."

"I feel like there's more. It feels weird to not see a text from you when I wake up. It feels weird to not hear your voice. I don't… I don't like it, Y/N. Even if that's selfish."

And selfish it was. Peter expected you to be transparent while he was hiding possibly the biggest secret in the world. Maybe that was why he was so worried about how much you loved him. Peter wanted to be honest with you. He wanted you to know he was spider-man, but right now, he still couldn't bring himself to. Perhaps he was looking for a reason.

"I'm sorry." Your hands were clenched in your lap. "I've never had to deal with this before. Everything is so new, even if we've been together for a year. I've never cared about anyone like this, and I can't manage my time."

Peter paused as if every word in this conversation pained him to no end. His eyes were glossy, his mind unclear. He was desperately trying to understand why you were isolating himself. "You can't make any time for me?"

"That's the thing, I can't focus on anything else when I'm with you." Your lip quivered. "And that's a problem."

"It's not for me." He said quickly. "I make time for you, and you don't for me. And you need to tell me why."

You glanced away, embarrassed. No matter what you said, the reason wouldn't be good enough. You were just a bad girlfriend.

Peter reached his hand out and pulled you to him. You rested your chin upon his shoulder, soothed to feel his warmth once again. "You need to tell me, Y/N. We've made it work for this long, and all of a sudden, it stopped."

Your body started to shake. Trying to muffle your sob, you brought your hand to your mouth. It was all too much.

"-You have your whole life together, Peter. I have nothing, I still have to work for it. I'm not as smart as you, I'm-"and that's when the tears started to flow. It was a literal flood, tear after tear poured over your eyelids until they were bloodshot, until pressure pounded through your head.

Before you could finish, your face was pressed against Peter's chest. He held you tightly, his sweatshirt dabbing up your tears of sorrow. You gripped tightly to him, releasing the stress that had been building up inside of you for the last two weeks.

He did not know what else to do. Showing you that he loved you seemed like the most viable option. Sometimes all you had to do was listen, and that was enough.

"I got a bad grade on my midterm exam, one that I didn't study for because I spent my time with you—I thought-"

"Shh." He stroked your hair, understanding what you meant without a complete explanation.

"I work so hard, and it's never enough-"

"It's always enough, Y/N."

"I got so caught up in it that I neglected you in the process. So much so that you thought I was cheating on you" you inhaled sharply, whimpering against him, so many different emotions swirling through your mind. "You're the best thing in my life, and I put you second…"

"Look at me, Y/N." He cupped your cheeks in a swift movement, forcing you to look at him through tear-filled eyes. "You are enough for me. That's why I bothered to have this conversation with you. That's why I care." He pressed his lips against your forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Peter." You tilted your head up to kiss him wholly on the lips. You were a mess, but Peter had always told you that you looked beautiful when you cried.

"Rosy cheeks." He whispered, patting down your hair, inhaling your scent, and appreciating the beauty you constantly radiated.

You chuckled, sniffling loudly. Peter always said that after you had a successful mental break down, your cheeks brandished a rosy shade.

"Shut up." You whispered, tightening your grip around his torso. His back fell against your bed, and you shifted to lay completely on top of him. The firmness of his chest underneath you caused instant relaxation, instant relief. Maybe, just maybe, being in his presence was enough to get rid of the stress from everyday life.

The corners of your eyes were raw and red, yet it complimented your shade. Peter vowed from the moment he had met you, that he would never let any harm come to you. The last thing Peter had ever expected was that he might be the reason, instead of the world.

At least, for now, he had the power to fix it. You were the love of his life, and he had never felt so gratified to be in anyone else's presence.

Peter's fingers traced light, small circles on your back. He could hear your heartbeat slow. The softness of your finger against his was enough to help him close his eyes.

He was at peace, real peace for the first time in weeks.

"We need to remind ourselves to talk about shit more." You mumbled sleepy, almost inaudible. "So this doesn't happen again, because I hate it."

"Me too, babe." He whispered, content with watching you rise and fall in sync with his breathing.

"I couldn't bear to lose you."

#tom holland x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker

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allisonbaelfire · 5 years

Text

Caim

Pairings: Nick Scartch x Reader

Requested: 1) the readers parents are killed by father blackwood and no one else knows that they are dead other than the reader due to her wanting to keep it private. nick (boyfriend in this) realizes something is up and when the reader fesses up, he comforts her since he was through something similar. Sorry if this is long, really love your writing!❤ / 2) Hiya, fluffy request for nick scratch x reader where the reader has a dog familiar and the reader can never find the dog bc it’s always with nick <3

Summary: Father Blackwood murdered your parents and you didn’t know who to trust anymore. You secured your home and stayed inside with your familiar as much as you could. Nick tried to help you as he noticed your behavior.

Word Count: 2,220

Authors Note: I changed the dog thing a bit up but I hope you like the Story.

Caim = (n.) lit. “sanctuary”; an invisible circle of protection, drawn around the body with the hand, that reminds you that you are safe and loved, even in the darkest times.

________________________

“So, I see you after school?” Nick asked flirty.

“If you’re a good boy.” You smirked.

“Never.” He replied and was about to kiss you.

“Ugh.” Sabrina said. “Get a room.” She joked.

“I agree.” Prudence nodded. “You don’t have to show us that Nick isn’t available anymore, any second of the day, Y/N.”

Nick and you have been a happy couple for a few weeks now. He distanced himself from other witches and tried to show you every day how serious he was about you.

“Ms. Y/L/N, please come into my office.” You heard Father Blackwoods voice in your head.

You knew that kind of spell, putting his own voice in the head of another wizard, but it was forbidden. Why would Father Blackwood contact you this way?

Nick looked worried, “You okay?” but you didn’t answer. You had a bad feeling. “Y/N?”

“I’m sorry Nick, I’ve to go.” You replied. “Father Blackwood want to see me.” You ran out of the room.

Nick didn’t understand what had happened, even Sabrina and Prudence seemed confused.

“Maybe you scared her of already, Nick?” Prudence smirked.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As you stood in front of Father Blackwood's office, an unwholesome feeling grew inside of you. You were one of the most notorious witches in the school and have never had any problems, but something seemed strange.

“Come in, Y/N.” You heard him calling. He must’ve sensed you.

“Good morning, Father Blackwood.” You greeted him politely.

“Miss Y/L/N, I’ve to inform you about something I'm inconsolable for.” He started but he paid no attention to you. “Your parents tried to take you from school. Since you’re one of our most promising witches and your parents didn’t want to be diverted from their idea, I had to take certain measures.”

“Thank you but please forgive me but what’re you trying to tell me, Father Blackwood?”

He chuckled. “Your parents tried to weaken our school, so in the name of our Dark Lord, I killed them.”

You tried to breathe, but your lungs didn’t allow you to breathe. Your heart felt like it was standing still. Your body was deaf and the only thought in your head, "This is a bad joke."

“You alright?” Father Blackwood looked at you. “I did it to assure your education.”

You tried to hide your tears. “I-I.” You needed to answer or he’d kill you too. “I’m thankful. Thank you Father Blackwood, if you’d excuse me, I’ve to prepare for class.”

He smiled. “You’re excused.”

You nodded, turned slowly and closed the door behind you. When you were in safe distance, you ran out of school. You had to go home to see if your parents were dead or if it was just a bad joke.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When you got home, the door wasn’t locked as always.

“Mom!” You shouted. “Dad!”

You ran through every room, looking for them but you couldn’t find them.

“No, no, no, no.” You started crying.

Everything felt numb and you tried to realize that Father Blackwood had actually killed your family. Apart from your parents, you had no one else. But you couldn’t focus on grieving because you heard something whimper.

“Moon.” You remembered. “Moon, where are you?”

You called and heard Moon whimpering more as you called his name. You heard him in the basement. Your basement was not an ordinary one, it was more of an underground forest. Your parents were gifted game wardens in the witch world. They saved and cared for familiar who no longer had anyone or who no one wanted to have anymore.

Your “dog” came out of the dark corner where he was hiding. Moon was not just a dog, he was your familiar and was half a werewolf.

“You survived.” You cried again because you were relived to see your friend.

You could feel that Moon had guilty feelings because he could not protect your family.

Moon came to you and put his head on your legs. Since Moon was a half werewolf, he was quite tall, but he always behaved like a dog. He always slept with you, actually he was always near you.

“You couldn’t have done anything to stop him, he would have killed you too.” You whispered as you pet him. He whimpered because he felt you were crying.

“I’m glad, I still have you.” You looked at him and saw a letter that hung on his collar. “For Y/N, from Mom & Dad.” You read out loud.

Moon looked worried at you. But you decided not to open the letter yet.You were not ready to read the last words of your parents.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Some days passed, you didn’t talk to anyone anymore. You told the Academy that you were seriously ill and it was contagious, so you had to stay at home for a while.

You were a powerful witch, with that Father Blackwood was right. You already had a talent for spells as a child and quickly invented your own. You protected your house with spells that even mastered warlocks couldn’t use or break, so that Moon and you were safe and could think about what you would do next.

You didn’t want to go back to the academy, you were better in a lot of things than your classmates anyway, but if you didn’t go, father Blackwood would kill you as well.

You got a few text from Nick and your friends but ignored them all. Most of the time you lay in your bed staring at the wall. You feel lonely and lost, yet still so angry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After a while you went back to school, even though Moon didn’t want to let you go alone, because his fear that you could get killed by Father Blackwood was too big...

Normally, you would have met with Nick as you did every morning in the Library, today you went straight to class. You didn’t say much which was unusual for you, since the teacher would always wait for you to answer questions, the other students couldn’t. After the Academy, Moon would be waiting for you out in the woods so you could go home together. So it went on for a while, until one day Moon wasn’t waiting for you.

You were looking for Moon but you couldn’t find him. An inner panic spread. Did father Blackwood have your familiar now? Was he dead because you no longer provided your knowloedge?

“Moon?” You looked around. “Oh please no.”

“You looking for us?” You heard a familiar voice behind you.

You turned around. “Nick?” You were surprised as you noticed Moon by his side. “Watch out!” You tried to warn him because Moon hated anyone else.

Moon was one of the Familiar nobody wanted anymore. Moon was badly treated by his former owner because he wasn’t a real dog and wasn't a real werewolf either. He didn’t really accept anyone but you.

“We took a little longer to hunt today.” He smirked.

Moon came to you and you hugged him. “I was worried about you.” You whispered and he licked your hand. “Why were you with my familiar?”

“Because he was hungry and you’re acting -” he thought about how he should describe your behavior lately. “Different. So I followed you, Moon noticed me and I was lucky he didn’t kill me.”Moon scowled at Nick to show him, that if he’d hurt you, he’d definitely kill him.

You smiled soft but remembered that Father Blackwood could find you out here. “I’m sorry Nick, I truly am but I’ve a lot on my mind now and i need to go-”

“Then tell me what’s going on, Y/N.” He responded. “I thought you wanted this whole relationship thing?”

“I did, I’m just-”

“Don’t shut me out.” Nick seemed hurt.

You realized that you were important to Nick and he missed you. But you couldn’t talk to him here, not if there could be someone behind every tree, who would listen to you.

“Meet me at my house, tonight.” You replied, then you went with Moon home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When you arrived home, you just walked impatiently back and forth. You were in love with Nick, but didn’t you know if you could trust him. What if he was a spy for Father Blackwood? Or what if you told him what happened to your parents and he would be in danger himself?

Moon looked at you and growled. You made him nervous.

“Really? You were the one who had to be friends with him, I tried to stay away.” You said and Moon just sighed.

A few hours passed, but then Nick stood at your door. But he couldn’t enter.

“Oh, I forgot to change the spell.” You remembered and Nick looked confused. You mumbled something in Latein, then you took his hand and pulled him inside of your house. Nick seemed to be impressed, yet worried.

You whispered something in Latein again. No one was allowed to get in or outside of the House, besides Nick, Moon and you.

“Why would you need to create a spell, to keep witches & warlocks outside?” He asked. You looked at him, trying to decide if you could tell him the truth. “Whats going on?” He came to you and took gently your hands.

You couldn’t stop yourself but started to cry. Nick wrapped his arms around you and you held him tight.

After a little moment, you went upstairs with Nick into your room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Y/N, you know, you can always talk to me - but if you don’t its okay too.” He spoke soft. “We can just sit on your bed, or make out.” Nick grinned and made you chuckle. “Or we watch a scary movie. I’m fine with everything as long as I can hold your hand.”

“Nick, Father Blackwood murdered my family.” You said it out loud for the first time. A tear rolled down your face but you whipped it away quickly. “He said he did it for me and the Academy.” Nick came to you and looked shocked. “I’m afraid that he’ll come for Moon, or me eventually. Also my parents wrote me a letter before they died, but I’m to scared to open it.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Nick replied heartbroken, it reminded him of how he felt when his parents died.

You knew he could understand how you by the look he gave you.

“But he won’t do anything to you.” He assured you. “You’re already more powerful than him and if he’d ever try to hurt you, I’d kill him in a second.” Nick sounded serious.

You looked at Nicholas and saw how angry he was that you had to be afraid of anything. He wanted to make you feel safe. You gently took his face in your hands and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him.

As someone opened the door, you stopped with what you were about to do. You were terrified because no one but Nick and you were in the house. But it was Moon. He didn’t want to be alone downstairs, you and Nick had to laugh.

“But I still wonder why you came along with him. Moon hates anyone but me.” You chuckled.

Moon came to Nick and he pet him. “I’ve a familiar who’s a Werewolf too. Her name is Amalia.” He smiled as he thought about her. “Maybe he sensed that he can trust me.” You smiled as you saw that Moon accepted Nick. “Why didn’t you open the letter?”

“Because its the last thing, I’ve of them” You replied and stood up to show him the letter. “Would you read it to me?”

Nick was honored and agreed to read it. He opened the letter while you lay in his arms.

“To our dearest daughter, Y/N.” He began. “If you’re reading this, it means were no longer with you and we’re truly sorry for it. We wanted you out of the Academy because we think Faustus is planning something against the Dark Lord. You’re one of a kind, maybe the most powerful witch and we didn’t want you to be a part of his plans.” You started crying. “We might have failed but we did everything to assure that nothing will ever happen to you, you’re under the protection of our dark lord now. Moon will keep you safe, be sure who to trust. We love you.” Nick put the letter aside and held you in his arms.

You missed your parents but were a bit confused about the meaning of the letter. Still grateful for having him.

Nick felt that you were relieved to have finally opened the letter and that you were very sad. He held you tightly in his arms all night, to show you that he wouldn’t leave you alone and protect you, especially against Father Blackwood.

You knew your Spell to protect the House was safe. But having Nick in the house and being held by him made you feel more safe than any spell ever could.

You knew Nick already felt asleep but you couldn’t help yourself as you looked at him, while Moon was laying behind him. It touched your heart that Moon accepted Nick so much. “I love you, Scratch.” You spoke soft.

_________________________

Please tell me what you think and leave a comment, it would mean the world to me. Thanks for reading <3

729 notes · View notes

beanarie · 5 years

Note

⭐star⭐⭐star⭐⭐star⭐⭐star⭐⭐star⭐ (or talk more about and/all of your Elementary WIPs/ideas bc I want every single drop I can get)

so i totally wrote about joan having breast cancer a couple years ago. here’s the bits i cobbled together, some of which also disappeared from my phone, which tells me i need to back my shit up more often!

The call comes while her stitches from her lumpectomy and lymph node removal are still in place and hurting like a mother and she's only too aware of Sherlock, his terror an acrid smell in her nose. She's told it's not what they hoped, but it's not hopeless, and she barely pauses at all before she looks at Sherlock, smiles, and says, "It's fine."

He's so grateful he takes her out for lunch. They go to a cafe with an outdoor area that he knows she's been eyeing for months. She orders a giant salad with extra pecans and he wrinkles his nose before telling a story about Thomas Jefferson's penchant for giving pecans as gifts.

[the truth comes out in a week or so!]

"We should talk about this."

He closes the file in his hand and tosses it on the stack.

"I-I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. I needed to get the full results and figure out what to do next, without... I don't know. Background noise."

"It's not that serious. People with results like mine have a ninety-three percent chance of remaining cancer-free after treatment. Really, it's barely cancer."

"I mean, yes. Several weeks of radiation, sprinkled with tests and maybe a PET scan or two. Still, not particularly life-derailing. I'm going to work. The only real change will be to my availability. And I won't be able to leave the city, except maybe on the weekends. Overall, we'll simply get more use out of face-time than we did before."

A series of short, shallow nods urges her to let the other shoe drop.

Joan adjusts her gaze to slightly beyond his left ear. "I've asked Lin to help me find a place to sublet for the next two months."

His only reaction is the barely perceptible droop of his shoulders.

"I'm not leaving you." The first time she meant to leave the brownstone, he abducted a contract killer, then tortured and stabbed him. The second time, he went back to London for almost a year with no notice beyond a short Dear Joan letter. She can't handle one of his signature extreme overreactions. "Sherlock, it's really important you absorb that, if nothing else."

"But you do plan on leaving."

"It's the least disruptive option for both of us. And it's only temporary."

[the next day, joan gets home and in the library there's a stack of books, dvds, and cd's on wellness-type things and other stuff, like a giant fluffy orange blanket on the couch. sherlock explains he did some research, orange is a calming color. also OK HE RESPECTS HER CHOICES but. she's not a disruption, she's family. also also moving is one of the most stress-inducing acts a person can put themselves through and it wouldn't be good for her recovery to do that twice in as many months. anyway, she stays.]

"We should formulate a safety plan."

Joan finishes the line she was working on and clicks save so she doesn't have to end up doing this report all over again. This has his second sponsor written all over it. Rashida, having completed her PHD, has been taking classes in behavioral science possibly with an eye for a new specialty. She means well, and she and Sherlock get each other like a pair of esoteric intellectuals only could. It's still strange to get confirmation that he talks about her illness with other people. "A safety plan."

"Yes! A short, memorable list of agreed upon actions in the case of emergent medical and/or emotional, um, turmoil."

"We never had a safety plan for you."

"Didn't we?"

"Fine, so you'll let me pass out wherever I drop and just leave a protein bar by my head so I don't die of hypoglycemic shock when I wake up two days later."

"That's all you did?"

"So I'll let you know if I'm not feeling well and up to whatever's going on." His expression is unreadable, which is rare. "What? You implied pretty heavily that you wanted me to."

Incomprehensibly, his expression becomes almost sad. "That's why you remain so closed off, because of my history of resistance to..."

"Okay, this conversation swerved past making sense. I tell you things all the time. This morning, with your cereal?"

"When *truly* bothered, you keep it to yourself and speak to no one, unless I draw it out of you."

"I speak up when I have something to say. And, I will."

"Have you considered cutting your hair?"

"I'm not getting chemo, Mom. I told you."

"I know. It's just so much to take care of. My cousin Darlene, she had radiation. It drained her. You'll be tired."

"You've always wanted me to cut my hair."

Her expression grows softer, more wistful. "I do like it shorter."

"I remember." Ruefully her entire catalogue of school photos scrolls through her memory. Mom's rule had been adamant and easy to follow: Never past the chin. "I'm not doing that again."

"Okay. Your choice."

Joan doesn't rise to the hint of passive-aggression.

A few hours later, she gets home from treatment, she takes a shower, and she tries to see tonight playing out in a possible near future. She adds imaginary weights to her wrists and ankles, and the almost unbearable weariness after watching a murderer get to go home scot-free.

"Fine," she tells her reflection.

She puts her mom on FaceTime, so she can see the results.

Her mom squints. "You didn't cut that much."

"Four inches." Just enough so she doesn't have to strain to get the brush through while she's blow drying.

“Hm.“

“Anyway, I’ll see you Thursday for tea, Mom?“

Lord save her from aspiring criminals who think they're too cool for the interrogation room. Anthony Raymond has been stonewalling them since Bell brought him in. What makes this especially annoying is he won't even ask for a lawyer. They'd tell him to spill his guts, or at least start negotiations for a deal. This nothingness isn't ideal when she has to take off for treatment soon. If she doesn't get this nut cracked before she goes, it'll be hanging over her head for the rest of the afternoon.

The door opens. Anthony doesn't move a muscle. Gregson enters bearing an extra-large fountain drink, a pen, and a piece of paper. He sits, thoughtfully configuring these objects around his immediate space. It takes a full thirty seconds, during which he doesn't acknowledge Anthony at all. He slides the paper toward Joan.

'Paige made you a smoothie. Not sure what's in this, but she swears by it.'

Joan glances at Anthony as though she learned something important, then looks back at the note. "Hm." She takes the pen. 'I'm good. Thank you both.'

'Holmes said you haven't really eaten yet.' He pushes the drink about an inch in her direction.

Joan makes two straight lines, one each for 'I'm' and 'Good'.

[perp eventually cracks because their note-passing is freaking him out]

[slightly later, joan brings the smoothie into gregson's office. he asks what she thought of it. she says "i didn't try it" and throws it in the garbage.]

It's Saturday, the end of her first week of treatment, and there aren't any murders. Joan texts the guy she liked from TrueRomantix, the one who came to check that she was safe when Everyone doxxed her and hacked her profile. He's still cute. She can't remember exactly why they didn't sleep together the last time, something about it not feeling right. Meanwhile he fosters seeing-eye dogs and he has the best pectorals she's ever seen.

She takes off her bra, but leaves the camisole. It's dark in his bedroom, but not too dark for either of them to see her scars or the semi-circle constellation of radiation tattoos. At one point she guides his hand underneath to her right breast. When he goes for the left, she distracts with a move that almost has his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Wow," he breathes.

When they're done, he doesn't push her to leave *or* ask her why she isn't staying. They'll be doing this again sometime.

[another patient in the waiting room at the radiation clinic starts having a medical emergency. joan immediately jumps forward to help and the patient's mom looks at her like who the fuck are you. it sticks with her the whole rest of the afternoon.]

She's been in a position where people have doubted her expertise before, many times. But never because she was meant to be on the other side. She's a patient, that's her role now.

Briefly she considers lying. The Uber app is acting weird, something like that. She settles on a simple, 'Are you busy?'

She gets her reply in less than thirty seconds. 'Need a ride?'

When Marcus arrives at the clinic, he touches her arm and kisses her cheek, a note of intimacy between close friends. It feels natural, even though his customary greeting, usually at crime scenes or the bull pen, is a brusquely friendly "Hey." They communicate mainly in nods and smiles intended only for each other, cups of coffee as close to the way they like it as limited resources will allow.

After they settle into the car, he doesn't turn the engine on right away. He waits, unobtrusively.

"I don't want to disrupt any plans you might've had for today," she says.

He lifts one shoulder. "Just a pickup game. Nothing I can't put off for another week."

"Actually..."

He turns his head. "Hm?"

She was warned not to expect anything fancy. No bleachers, not much crowd. Kids of varying ages drift by, many popping in and out of the tiny storefronts.

She can't remember the last time she simply existed in public when she wasn't jogging or staking out a criminal. The open air feels refreshing. Not one of these people care that she used to be a doctor.

After the first quarter, she asks to borrow the chair of a guy selling hats, scarves, and phone chargers from a folding table. He was spending most of his time at the halal cart talking to the man stuck inside anyway.

The chair is comfortable. The lighting tasteful. Joan's shoes feel fine. The mid-level exec at the other end of the table isn't stonewalling in the slightest. His voice could almost be called soothing.

All those other things aside, if this meeting doesn't end in the next few minutes she is going to jump out the window.

Her knee bouncing, she shifts her upper body in a way that's hopefully not that visible to anyone else. It doesn't help, in fact the resulting movement of her bra over her left boob makes her want to scream.

"We appreciate your elucidation on Mr. Wallach's movements last Tuesday." Joan nearly bites her lip at the growing light at the end of the tunnel. "Now if you could tell us about the lawsuit from three months ago. Sexual harassment, was it not?"

Joan gets to her feet with a repressed groan. Then she runs for the receptionist. "Restroom?"

She's just stepped inside the single stall and slid the lock into place when she hears the deathly urgent, "WATSON???"

She curses fluently inside her head and undoes the lock, just in case. "Sherlock! I'm o-"

And he's barreled through the open door.

"What the hell!" She pulls together the unbuttoned half of her shirt.

"I thought-" Over Sherlock's shoulder, a security guard starts coming into view. "What-what are you doing?"

"Sorry." Her face will probably remain this garish shade of red for...ever. "I'm, uh, peeling. Itch is driving me crazy."

He blinks, adrenaline making him shake slightly and keeping him from comprehending. "What?!"

"The only emergency right now is my imminent death by mortification." Her left hand tightly curled to protect her modesty, she makes a shooing motion with her right. "Go away."

He turns toward the door, then stops. "I've done the reading. If you have developed a rash, or the beginnings of dermatitis, scratching is highly inad-"

"OUT."

Lin greets her at the bar in her signature neurotically enthusiastic way. After tilting her head a little, she agrees to sit at a booth rather than stay near the bartender, where she loves to try out her charms to get free drinks for the two of them.

"I've never seen you go hard like this." She's waiting on the server to bring her second martini and Joan's third whiskey. "You look tired."

Joan waits until after the drinks have arrived. "Thanks, I had cancer."

"What?"

"Had," she repeats. "Had. As of yesterday, it's past tense. When I'm done with this course of radiation, I'll be free." She knocks on the table. "Until the follow-ups."

Lin gets up to go to the bathroom without a word. Joan downs her drink and orders another round. To Lin's credit, she beats the server back to the table.

"So those times you said you couldn't meet up because you had cases..."

"One, oncologist appointment and two, actually a case. Sorry."

"You told your brother, didn't you?"

Because Joan is three drinks in, she doesn't hold anything back from her eyeroll. Her siblings having no relationship with each other is not on her. "That's different."

"Because he's real."

"Because he lives two hundred miles away! I didn't have to see...that. That expression, in my face, all the time."

"You could've died and I would never have known you were sick."

Joan snorts. "I was never *dying*." There was that period between her biopsy and the results of her lumpectomy, when decades-old memories of various patients, poor souls fading in front of her eyes, resurfaced every hour. Lin didn't need to be there for that.

"Look." Joan kisses Lin noisily on the cheek. "I just got the best news of my life and I wanted MY SISTER here with to celebrate being Officially. Cancer. Free!"

A table of young men nearby let out a cheer. Lin smiles in spite of herself.

Joan wakes up naturally.

She spends a few minutes watching him. Many people say they'll sleep anywhere, but Sherlock actually will. And he never shows a single sign of stiffness or back pain. She envies him that, even as she acknowledges that she'd still prefer a bed, even if there were no consequences to sleeping on the floor.

"Is this just the first time I caught you?" Her voice is husky from sleep.

He springs to his feet. "Oh!" He runs off, returning no more than six minutes later with breakfast.

After placing the tray on the bed, he stands at her side, stiff and silent like a brooding Lurch. "What, no speech?" she teases.

He takes in a shaky breath. "It has been quite some time since I lost the ability to imagine a life without you in it. Gratitude isn't sufficient enough to describe how it feels to know this is a concern I can put off for another day."

"Oh, Sherlock."

"These past few weeks have been fraught, for you." She gives a start. This has taken an unexpected turn. "Full of pain and fear, the reopening of old wounds. You've conducted yourself so admirably. My respect for you, which had appeared to reach its zenith years ago, I find had untold heights yet to climb." He leans toward her, his hand cradling the back of her head while his lips press against her hairline.

He disengages, turning his back and she makes a tentative grab for his hand. He freezes in place, not resisting. "I love you, too," she says thickly, shoving aside tears.

Joan doesn't remember having done anything remotely admirable. She's been tired and snappish, she forced everyone to cater to her, she stopped doing her fair share of the work. The one person she tried to help didn't need her. It's been weeks since she felt like she existed for any worthwhile reason.

Maybe that's why it's good to see herself through his eyes, just this once. She squeezes his hand, then quickly lets go, taking pity on him. Plucking the cloth napkin from the tray and pressing it against her eyes, she laughs. "So this was your plan for my last day? Get my face all blotchy just in time to go in there and say goodbye to all those people?"

"What does it matter? You'll never see them again.

#elementary #elementary fic #it's a rough wip be warned!#my writing #things by beanarie #amindamazed #replies

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