#bacon elf

[pedros-immaculate-vibes]

I wanna write

but I have to defrost the bacon to make bacon pancakes for the sick kiddo.

I want to listen to something that makes me think of the fanfic, but also something that’s fresh bc I’ve listened to the Celtic playlist and The Witcher OST so much within a month

I also just want to stare at Halsin and Astarion and think of how the one would react to my cooking and how the other would react to essentially everything in my life

#Bg3 #bg3 fanfic #a peaceful elf #halsin #astarion #the Witcher #celtic music #baldurs gate 3 #pancakes #bacon #the bacon is frozen #I need a coffee

[floridaboiler]

#Bacon #Elf on the Shelf #Christmas #Christmas Bacon

[church-elves-are-best]

Did you know robogods a bottom

I think wheatley would consider this Blasphemy.

...

But i agree.

#fancy elf (me) #message (anon) #this is either parsley or bacon

[bananasfosterparent]

More art of Tymir ⚔🔥 Painted portrait, Artbreeder edit, and WIP full body thing.

----

Still working on his bio, but overall, he’s the most violent and amoral character I probably have (that isn’t an actual villain lol). He is the older brother of my Dragonborn Araduna 

He’s a reaver/bandit turned assassin/headhunter from Solstheim. His family had become poor over the years, since the mines are basically useless and the only family money coming in was from a store with books and tomes and some mage supplies. He started getting involved in smuggling but proved to be an efficient and fairly undetectable killer (especially with his bow). His family did not approve of him earning money in such a shady way and so he left the island and left his family behind. 

Originally, they were twins, but Idk if I want to keep or change that 🤷🏽‍♀️ I like the idea of him and Araduna having quite an age gap between them (can’t say exactly how much yet cause I haven’t decided lol, but having him be significantly older than her). Either way, they did spend time together while she was young and he taught her how to fight and defend herself. 

He is also the reason she has a triangular scar on her face. As a kid, she challenged him to combat, he warned her she wasn’t ready but she insisted. He swiped his blade against her face by the end of the fight and did it two more times to prove his point, making a triangular wound on her cheek. But he got his I guess.. his nose has been broken twice and now it’s just permanently crooked.

Anyway, once he moved to Skyrim, he travels between Riften, Falkreath, and Windhelm often, finding work with the Dark Brotherhood, the Thieves Guild, and having connections within the Gray Quarter. 

He’s also got a bit of a skooma problem, but that’s a whole other conversation lmao

#AND NO #I DIDN'T mean to make his artbreeder portrait look like Kevin Bacon #and now young Kevin Bacon is his faceclaim lmao #uwu #tes #tes5 #tesv #tes skryim #skyrim #tesblr #dunmer #dunmer oc #skyrim oc #dark brotherhood #thieves guild #my art #digital art #dark elf #dark elf oc #The Elder Scrolls #the elder scrolls skyrim #tes v #tes v skyrim #artbreeder #artbreeder edit

[floorbacon0621]

winding down before bedtime drawing!

Nope no clue who this guy is, he was just made off pure vibes

#my art #bacon art #oc art #chesterton challenge #purple haaiiirr #I'm really loving Clip studio paint these days #I didn't want to do a shirt collar so I said FLUFFY NECK THING and ran with it #I feel like he's probably an elf or faerie prince of some kind but that's all I know #maybe an exiled elf prince #yeah I'll go with that for now

[justgowithitplease]

Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, and Tim Drake HCs!!

Dick Grayson:

When I tell you this man would not leave you alone while drunk....

One glass of whiskey and he's fine

Two glasses? You will be stuck to him for the next hour or so

When in public he always has his Arms around your waist, shoulders, hips,

really anything that qualifies as being able to hug you in public without it seeming too weird

expect random wing-dings (his version of the batarang) stuck in the wall next to the bedroom light switch

He's too lazy to get up from cuddling you so he uses his horrible wonderful ranged weapon skills to shut the lights off

Has definitely tazed himself in the balls at least 10 times

Cannot spell 'indubitably' for the life of him, Too many vowels

Failed history as a child and now has a vendetta against George Washington

Spells the British way on 'accident' (totally not to spite George Washington)

Has definitely snorted an entire pixie stick for a quarter

Y'know that scene in ELF where buddy's in the shower and he's to tall for it? That's him

Has accidentally braked his motorcycle too hard and flipped

Corner of the mouth kisses are a must

Would rather stay in than go out for date night

Why get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes and pay for overpriced food when he could cook some reasonably priced and tasting food and wear sweatpants and a hoodie

Has made it a rule that there will be no children in the house

Made this rule purely against Damian

Also has a rule against pets

Which is why he complained for, like, three days after you got your cat, Bacon (see another fic!!)

About a week after, he had fixed his sleeping position so the cat wouldn't be crushed if it slept between you two

Speaking of which, if that man falls asleep, he will not move

Man sleeps like a stack of bricks on leveled concrete

A bit sensitive about his scars, but has learned to love them

Has an allergy to kiwi

Gets flashbacks frequently, and you're one of the only things that can get him to calm down

This man is more whipped than the cream on top of pumpkin pie

DnD and MtG nerd

made a pure crab deck based on the three-card landfall and got smacked by Damian

No other option

Poor sleep deprived man has drunken soy sauce instead of his coffee while trying to cook for you

Has alligator rolled in his sleep then gotten up, just to trip and hit his head

Hates thick sweaters

This man absolutely refuses to fall asleep if you're not home (not like he's gonna sleep anyways)

Secretly loves telanovelas

Speaks Spanish, Dutch, Russian, and Arabic

Wanted to be an astronaut when he was a kid

has slide-on slippers, cannot handle the ones that go around his heel

The only blankets on his bed are weighted blankets

All the covers are purple or taupe

Has a state information book he reads on road trips

Dresses like Eddy Burback/Ted Nivison or Mr. Rogers in his civilian life

No inbetween

#dick grayson x reader #jason todd x reader #tim drake x reader #batfam x reader #jason todd #tim drake headcanon #dick grayson

[luveline]

Hi lovely, how are you? Idk if you're doing the blurbs still but if you are, can you do something like Eddie taking care of a hungover reader that just partied to hard with her friends? Or something with hockey! Eddie because I love him and you ❤️

I'm good thanks! I hope this is ok ♡ fem

"Come on, loser. Eat up." 

"Can't eat." You stare up at your friend with pleading eyes. "Don't make me." 

"I'm not gonna make you do anything," Eddie says, sliding a plate of eggs and bacon in front of you at the kitchen table with a shrug. "Feel like shit forever, see if I care." 

You pick up your coffee with shaking hands. "You could stand to be a little nicer to me," you whine lightly, more pleading than annoyed. "I don't feel well and you're supposed to love me." 

You think even a dash of compassion from Eddie could cure you. He's not a mean guy —he's been known to hug you at random moments, or lick your wounds for you when things get tough— he's just having an 'I told you so' moment, of which he's prone. 

"This is your own fault." Eddie fills a glass of water at the sink and puts that next to your plate. "If you're going to drink coffee you need water, too. The coffee will make you feel worse in the long run."

"You're like a drill sergeant." 

He finally breaks, reaching across the table to squeeze your forearm. "I just want you to feel better, you dummy." 

Your eyes dry and your head pounding, you switch from coffee to water if only to see some approval in his gaze as he takes the chair beside yours and starts on his own breakfast. Steam drifts in the air, the greasy smell of bacon tickling your nose. You poke an egg yolk with your fork, grimacing as it breaks. 

"Could I make some toast or something instead?" you ask. You really would like to eat, but the egg and bacon is too heavy. You're afraid you won't be able to keep it down. 

He rolls his eyes. "I'll make you some toast, babe, just drink your water." 

He makes you some toast, plate to his chest so he can eat and watch the bread brown at the same time, eating in that boyish way where he leans down to the fork rather than bringing it up to his mouth. It's his fault you got so drunk, in a roundabout way, though you don't actually think that and you'd never tell him if you did. He was in his stupid elf costume from his favourite book, his hair sleek and out of his face, face painted pale. Will you do my makeup? had started innocuously and ended with his hands on your waist to hold you in place, heart in your throat, pulse a hummingbird under his touch. You had to drink to forget the feeling. To avoid ruining everything. 

He seems to be taking pity on you now, swapping your plate for a new one of toast. He dips down to kiss the top of your head Eddie style, smacking. "You should quit partying so hard." 

"It felt like a good idea at the time." 

"Sweetheart," he says, pausing as you take a bite of your toast like it's his mouth that's full. He sighs and wraps an arm around your shoulders to hug you. "Is it really bad?" 

"I feel dizzy." 

"Eat your toast," he encourages, softer now, not a dummy in sight. "You'll feel better once you've recouped your losses. I'll make you some pedialyte, if you want?" 

"Can't I just have gatorade?" you mumble, mouth full of toast, head full of his naked arm pressing to your collar. 

"Don't want much, do you?"

Still, Eddie hauls you to the couch with a bucket just in case and a promise to return. He drives the two miles there and back it takes to get you gatorade and he doesn't complain about it, just breaks the seal and presses it into your hand. 

It's the most peculiar thing when he sits down next to you and takes your hand. Almost hesitant at first, then like it doesn't mean a thing, he holds your hand for the few hours between breakfast and lunch until you feel better, gatorades drank, and an orange eaten between you. 

"Next year," he says, slinking down into the couch, the smells of lunch cooking on the stove, your hand once again taken and held to his chest, "we should go as a duo costume." 

"Like what?" 

"I don't know. Ferris and Sloane?" 

"No one would ever guess who Sloane was." 

"How about, uh," —he's speaking casually, voice dipped low and rough— "fucking, Baby, from that movie you like? Baby and Tommy." 

"Dirty Dancing? You want to go as Baby and Johnny?" you ask. It's the most coupley couples costume there is. 

"I'd have to cut my hair. I don't think I'm ready for that."

"Did you hit your head while you were out?" you ask. 

"Whatever. You can just go as something lame again." He finger runs down your forearm. "You looked nice, but you could've looked awesome. You could've been Arwen." 

"Oh, I get it now. You want a mental image for the bank." Eddie groans and pulls away from you. "No, it totally makes sense, you've been so lonely ever since Macy cut you off–" 

"Shut up, I cut it off with her." He shakes his head and stands. "You're starting to make me regret it," he warns, though the smile appling his cheeks shows that he's not as serious as he sounds. 

He leaves you there on the couch with that stunning implication, your thoughts racing, and when he comes back it's to act like nothing happened, your lunch nicely plated and an ice cold drink to match. "Try and eat it, okay?" he asks. 

"Sure thing, Dr. Hyde." 

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson scenario #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader

[emptyjunior]

The concept of Riz dying decades or in some cases Centuries before his friends is too sad for me, anyways Riz isekai/regression au. 

So Riz, at the end of his life, I assume a decorated private investigator, maybe in and out of many agencies until he like unearthed corruption in them and got kicked out, you know just general Riz stuff.  

I think he would honestly get Jacked, but in like a wiry way, I think by the time he was old his combat sense and powers of deduction would be Insane even if his body cannot keep up with his mind anymore. 

And then I assume he’d die peacefully in bed OR in a dramatic and horrifying conspiracy, possibly on a sinking boat or a waterfall, that all his friends would have to investigate in his honour. 

So Riz dead, gone, finally at peace. 

Or at least he Thinks, BEEP BEEP annoying sound of alarm clock waking him up for his first day of school. 

Chronomancy is most likely to blame. 

So general premise is Riz instantly goes from an awkward teen scrambling to solve his babysitter’s disappearance, with no resources or social skills, twitchy and underfed to a calm and seasoned detective. I think that morning when Sklonda goes to see where he is, he’s made her breakfast, bacon and pancakes. And as she sits down in shock at the table, he quietly slides a file over to her which is every active case she’s working on, methodically solved with notes and clearly explained timelines to the culprit. And if she turns it over to the back, there’s also a resignation letter in there and an application to law school ready to be filled out. And when Sklonda looks up at Riz shaken, he just gives her a kiss on the forehead and a smile like he’s seeing someone he hasn’t seen for many years and then calmly goes to class. 

I also want: 

-Dealing with bullies that first day like Ragh and Fabian like he’s greeting loved ones. Darting out of their attempts to grab him with a dancer’s flourish that he could have only learnt from a high elf... 

-I think Fabian would be a Big Part of his plans (because the most fun part of regression time travel stories is when they start Amassing wealth) so I think he honestly just goes straight to his house, tells Bill Seacaster that him and his son are best friends (which Fabian would SCREAM at if he got humiliated by this goblin earlier that day) and then challenges Bill to a shooting contest and thrashes him, which makes Bill keel over with laughter, offer him a place on his crew, offers him his son’s hand (Fabian is hitting critical levels of red anger embarrassed face at this point) 

-Other fun ways to gather wealth, Riz just robs Kalvaxus. Just remembers every little detail about the accounts from his files, goes to the bank, gives all the current passwords, transfers the Entire dragonhoard to his own account 

-And yes the plot would all be decimating Goldenhoard that first year, so Riz just saves every girl before they’re captured, the maidens that have already been taken, hunts them down. I think he goes to the gas station that Johnny Spells and his friend’s occupy, locks the door and walks right into this den of bikers, just full Kingsman fight sequence decimates them. Because I think he would feel So good getting a body back that hasn’t been rung with years of stress and Kristen Shenanigans that he is in like peak condition 

-First Day finds the rogue teacher which is why he has so much time for running around preparing everyone’s future

-I think, honestly, he shoots Coach Daybreak in the head on sight and gets sent to the principal’s office and Aguefort’s like “are you doing a chronomancy?” and he says yea and Aguefort’s like sweet, carry on 

I think he finds Jawbone taking terrible paying bouncer jobs, and just offers him a bodyguard/assistant job so he has a little buddy to investigate with.

Starts a full out war with Helio followers because they had way too much reach in town, and when they try to debate with him he has Way more knowledge about their scripture than they do and some truly dangerous deity blackmail locked and loaded and Helio himself comes down and says haha leave this kid alone he just implied he can reincarnate a God, let’s go, let’s go.

Finds some insane legal loophole that absolutely strips Adaine and Aelwyn’s parents of influence and gives their children power over all their assets. Weirdly becomes very close friends with Aelwyn, maybe it’s because they both have the same taste in liquor now.

I think he’d start an information guild that involves like Zayn Darkshadow, Fig in her many disguises, Aelwyn and surprisingly Kipperlilly. Also Kalina! And he knows exactly how to summon her and keeps saying things to her that are friendly yet intimidating and it freaks her out.

Walks up to gorgug, hands him a study plan pathway to MCAT and walks off leaving gorgug very confused (and probably asking if he was his dad) 

Just fun time travel future knowledge shenanigans! And I cannot restate again, we saw how quick a Junior Year Riz is at investigating and making leaps to the right answer. By the time he is at the end of his life, I feel like he’s reached moriarty levels of detective prowess. The many new enemies he keeps making keep coming to him and he just strips them down with his powers of deduction. He’s looking at how one person favours their left side, or the crumbs on their wrist and knows everything there is to know about them. 

So just Freshman Year, the perfect run, Riz with a lot of angst in a very satisfying detective story getting closure for a lot of things. 

#i read a Lot of manga if you're wondering #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #brennan lee mulligan #riz gukgak #isekai #au #time travel #brian murphy #text post

[tastesoftamriel]

Hey Tal! I was preparing stuffed jacket potatoes for my family and it made me wonder;

"If each race was given a baked potato (any veriety), what would they stuff it with? (Let's pretend the bosmer is non pact compliant but still likes honoring their roots.)"

Since you'll find potatoes in every other barrel across Tamriel, you can bet that stuffed baked potatoes are probably the most universal dish we know of. Whether you love them or were fed too many of them as a child, there's a baked potato out there for everyone in Tamriel.

Altmer

You know what, the High Elves really have to be fancy about everything. Instead of gutting and filling your regular jumbo jacket potato like literally everybody else, they make large hasselback potatoes and painstakingly insert ingredients between the slots before baking. These laborious (but admittedly delectable) potatoes are usually offered filled with either four cheeses; mozzarella, tomatoes, and pesto; roasted vegetables with tapenade, or pancetta, gruyere, and sausage.

Argonians

Baked potatoes are great for playing a heated game of teeba-hatsei with, much to the rage of many an Argonian parent who had painstakingly made dinner. When they're not being slapped around for a laugh, Argonians eat their baked potatoes by making a well in the centre and crack a hot quail egg in, before topping it with deep fried mealworms or crickets and a bit of lime sambal. Scramble it up and you're good to go!

Bosmer

To every Green Pact-abiding Wood Elf I'm about to sadden with this, I apologise in advance for what I'm about to propose. But imagine a lovely jacket potato stuffed with a good slathering of smoked timber mammoth cheese atop battered thunderbug eggs, smoked bristleback bacon, jalapeño mayo, and sweetgnat butter. I don't need to imagine it; I made one with my friend Berrilyn, and it was glorious. Definitely on the heavy side, but loaded with every good ingredient Valenwood has to offer!

Bretons

Cheap, filling, and delicious. That's all a baked potato needs to be in High Rock, making it one of the Province's most popular foods among the common folk. Just about every sauce-based dish you can think of can go onto a jacket potato, from melted roquefort, goose egg, and dry cured ham to the classic combination of tomato beans and candied bacon rashers, and even reusing yesterday's Tarragon Chicken! There aren't really any limits on what you can fill a jacket potato with in High Rock, as long as you have a good knob of butter in there!

Dunmer

While potatoes are a perfectly standard and valid ingredient in Morrowind, I know you all want to hear about jacket ash yams. Popularised by Ashlanders, who bake their potatoes on lava, jacket ash yams can be found at every tavern and cornerclub across the Province. Minced nix-ox in a spicy comberry ragout; scrambled kwama eggs with caramelised scathecraw; and even Hackle-lo and Scuttle Curry are at home on a big, piping lava-hot ash yam. Don't forget to get some crunchy deep-fried kwama scrib to go on top- well worth the gold, I promise!

If you get the hankering for a taste of Morrowind, try my Raven Rock Baked Ash Yams.

Imperials

There are two rules surrounding baked potatoes in Cyrodiil: the potatoes must always be Jumbo Potatoes, and you must always use olive oil instead of butter. With that flavour profile in mind, think simple, complementary toppings like sundried tomatoes with goat cheese and fresh basil; cheese curds and red wine gravy; bresaola, chili oil, and gorgonzola, and browned pine nut butter with a good smear of ricotta and creamed battaglir.

Khajiit

Northern and Southern Elsweyr have a distinct difference in their baked potatoes: the North likes them rich and spicy, while the South prefers sweeter flavours that complement moon sugar. Northern Elsweyr is famous for its fiery curry-filled jacket potatoes, filled to the brim with rich, generally tomato-based curries featuring local ingredients like braised jerboa, pulled terror bird, and diced mutton. Meanwhile in Senchal, you'll find your average baked potato partially filled with things like chicken satay pieces in moon sugar peanut sauce, haloumi with moon sugar syrup, and sweet crispy shrimp and pork floss. But wait, 'partially filled?' Yep! In Southern Elsweyr, the insides of the potato are scooped out and rolled together with powdered moon sugar to make horrifically sweet potato 'candy' for dessert after you've finished your jacket potato. Who am I to judge?

Nords

Mammoth cheese? Horker bacon and smoked kippers? Pulled pheasant in brown ale gravy? All very valid and very traditional Skyrim options. However, I'm jumping up and down at the thought of a baked potato topped with freshly baked salmon or gravlaks with dill, lots of sour cream, and a bit of mustard! Simple, good, and I will shout at anyone who calls this combination bland. You can take the girl out of Riften, but never the Riften out of the girl.

Orcs

Where Wrothgarian Orsimer are concerned, there's a joke that every other meal is a baked potato (and that's sometimes the unfortunate case when a Hearth-Wife isn't very good at her job.) Gooey, mouthwatering echatere cheese raclette is the favoured topping in the region, melted atop of a bed of fillings like spicy wrathberry gravy with echatere or beef chunks; chopped mammoth bratwurst; grilled chub loon with frost mirriam barbecue sauce, and deep fried horker lard bits and sweet-and-spicy minced horker. Indulgent, and by Malacath, they're filling too.

Redguards

Where the Orcs have their echatere cheese on jacket potatoes, Hammerfell loves its goat cheese. Whether it's aged chèvre log slices or fresh and crumbly, you can bet it's going on a baked potato. It's paired with a range of moreish fillings, like harissa and apricot chicken; tender goat mince with a cumin-based curry; battered, fried snake with a tangy and sweet lemon drizzle, and shawarma meat with creamy garlic sauce and caramelised onions.

#Asks #Potato #Potatoes #baked potato #Food #Tes #The Elder Scrolls #Worldbuilding #world building

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

#things i decided i could make about 911 #Eddie diaz commits food crimes #Buck is his accomplice #buddie fic #911 fic #911 fanfic #text fic #incorrect 911 quotes #911 abc #911 fox

[roguishcat]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for tagging me @bardic-inspo ❤️

And another little snippet from my AU elf Astarion (Cazador-free world) modern-day two-shot that I will post in a couple of weeks. The working title is 'Completely Hypothetical'. It was initially going to be just a nice 2-3k one-shot that has grown to 6k and just keeps getting longer. And that is without the half-finished smutty sequence towards the end.

Basically, just Astarion finding excuses to keep Tav single whilst he is trying to figure out what he wants.

Minors DNI!

When Tav first met Astarion, they were all dirt-poor students, roommates trying to get by. Actually, she was still eyeballs-deep in student debt, unlike Mr. Big Shot lawyer, who was doing very well for himself evidentially.  

“How about you, dearest? Anything exciting happen lately?” Astarion questioned.

Tav knew what he was alluding to and was quite prepared to lie through her teeth. Because her latest attempt at a relationship was not going well, but she would never admit it to Astarion. She didn’t need his ‘I-told-you-so’ smirk.

“Good, good.”

Astarion scoffed and rolled his eyes at her woefully inadequate attempt at lying. And to him, out of all people. He did not buy it. Because he knew exactly what Tav looked like when she was actually excited about something.

“Thought as much. That’s why I went ahead and dumped that guy for you.”

“Excuse me?!”

She noticed that the phone in his hands was not actually his.

“You cheeky bugger, I can’t believe you swiped my phone and managed to unlock it! And who gave you the right to end my relationship, hm?”

“Tav, two pity fucks because for some reason you were feeling charitable do not count as a relationship. I did you a favour.”

“You’re the one to talk. You’ve slept with tons of people for much less than puppy dog eyes!”

“If you are referring to the time Gale and I got shitfaced and got it on in the public garden, let me assure you, the stars that night were beautiful. It was a magical, unforgettable evening.”

“Sure it was,” she laughed and grabbed her phone.

She couldn’t stay mad at him for long and he knew it. Besides, he was right. She wasn’t that into her now ex. She only went out with him because he kept asking and she thought that it wouldn’t hurt to give it a go and make it work. Because, truth be told, it’s been a long, long, long while since she’s been on a date, so she thought that a nice dinner with a conventionally nice, smart, attractive person was not a bad thing for her.

Their order arrived. Full English breakfast and coffee for Tav, just black coffee for Astarion. He sipped it slowly, enjoying the way Tav dug into her food with gusto.

“Mmm… this is awesome. Sure you’re not having any?”

“Food? Here? You’ve got to be kidding me,” he grimaced. Even the coffee here was foul. He could only imagine what the food was like.

“Yes, I know, I know. Your taste is way too refined to dine on something so greasy and disgusting.”

“Yes, because some of us actually have class.”

“I would throw my bacon at you, but it would be a waste of good food. Consider yourself lucky that this is delicious.”

#wip wednesday #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 #astarion tav fanfiction #astarion fanfiction #fanfic #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav #baldur's gate fanfiction #fanfiction #my wips #wips

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

*Lasgen, Finwe, Elwe, Olwe, and Ingwe are tasked with getting information from an orc stronghold, but they need to get past the guards first*

Finwe: So what's your plan for getting past those guys?

Lasgen: Live bait.

Olwe: *nodding* Good idea.

Finwe, realizing: Hey!

Elwe: Come on, Finwe! You guys have to create a diversion.

Finwe: What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?

♪ dadadadum dadum dum! ♪

Finwe, with only shoes and a skirt on and a flower necklace: Luau! *starts strumming the ukulele*

Olwe, in the same boat as finwe: *drumming on a drum*

Finwe: ♪ If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat, eat my buddy Olwe here because he is a treat. Come on down and dine on this tasty elf. All you have to do is get in line. Are you achin?♪

Olwe: ♪ Yep, yep, yep. ♪

Finwe: ♪ For some bacon? ♪

Olwe: ♪ Yep, yep, yep. ♪

Lasgen, ingwe, and Elwe: *holding in their laughter as they sneak past the orcs*

Finwe: ♪ He's a big elf. ♪

Olwe: ♪ Yep, yep. ♪

Finwe: ♪ You could be a big elf too! ♪

Finwe and Olwe: *strike a pose* ♪ Oi!

Orcs: *charging*

Finwe and olwe, still half naked: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Lasgen, Ingwe, and Elwe: *chocking* *almost dying of laughter as the group runs off*

Lasgen: *wheezing* i’m never gonna let them live that down!

#lord of the rings #lotr #silmarillion #the hobbit #lotr elves #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect lotr quotes #finwe #silm incorrect quotes #elwe #olwe #ingwe #lasgen #thranduil and miriel babysat the we’s #pre orome days

[yourmomxx]

Those Christmas Lights (light up the street)

Dean Winchester x child!reader

Summary: It’s Jack’s first Christmas, you want to get Dean a special present, and Cas makes terrible eggnog

Warnings: 13+, slight kidnapping, slight throwing up, not edited yet

Word Count: 8,5k

A/N: this is my way of wishing you all a very merry Christmas! whether you’re celebrating today, tomorrow, or in January (or any other day) - merry christmas and also a happy new year!

It was on a Sunday when you decided that you wanted to celebrate Christmas this year. You were looking through some old boxes, when you came across an ornament you made with Ellen and Jo back when you lived at the Roadhouse.

It was a colorful star folded out of red and yellow colored paper. It spun back and forth on a golden thread as you held it up.

When you were still celebrating, before you moved into the bunker with Sam and Dean, and all the holidays kind of faded into the background. You looked at the slightly crumpled star. Maybe it was time to revive some traditions.

As you entered the kitchen, you were greeted by the smell of fried bacon and eggs and the sight of the Winchester brothers, who seemed to have been awake a little longer. Or hadn't slept at all.

As you entered the kitchen, you were greeted by the smell of fried bacon and eggs and the sight of the Winchester brothers, who seemed to have been awake a little longer. Or hadn't slept at all.

The equivalent of blooming life as Dean, seated on the table, stared into his half-filled cup as if the black coffee in it would give him back his lost sleep. Sam was standing by the sink, scrubbing a clean plate in circular motions - and had been for several minutes.

It seemed like yesterday's hunt had demanded a lot from both of them. You cautiously entered the kitchen and waited for them to notice you. But both seemed caught up in their own tired thoughts, which is why you cleared your throat to draw attention to yourself. Sam's head shot up while Dean only slowly turned his in the bare minimum to signal that he knew you were here.

"I was thinking," you began, and Dean snorted into his cup as he lifted it to his lips. "That doesn't sound good."

You ignored him and continued talking undeterred. "I think we should celebrate Christmas this year."

Sam stopped in his bid to wash the plate and eyed you. "Christmas?" he asked and you nodded. "Yes, exactly."

"What makes you think of that now?" Dean's sleepy-sluggish voice came from the kitchen table.

"First of all, I think we need a break," you explained as you sat down across from Dean at the kitchen table. "And second, that would be Jack's first Christmas. He would experience something other than the torment that the world has to bring, but more - joy and warmth. I think we owe him that.”

Dean frowned. "First of all," he said, sort of mocking you, and raising his index finger, "we don't need a break. We're fine.”

You shot him a look. "If Sam keeps scrubbing that plate over there, it's going to have a hole in it eventually."

The dishes rattled as Sam put his plate on the pile next to the sink.

"And second, Jack has it great with us," Dean continued, ignoring your comment.

"Mm-hm, sure," you said in a sarcastic tone. "I'm sure the end of the world and the inheritance of Lucifer was nothing short of a dream from a first year of life."

Dean just shrugged and took another sip from his cup.

"I'm not even talking about a big Christmas," you tried to argue further, "It doesn't have to involve gifts, or Elf on the Shelf, or anything like that. Just some decorations, and a tree, and maybe some nice food. That's it."

You gave both of them pleading looks, but a little more to Sam because he was always a bit easier to convince for such things than your father.

Sam cleared his throat and reached for the next plate to clean it. "I mean, the idea doesn't sound that bad," he said, and a smile spread across your lips.

But Dean's head was spinning so fast you thought he was going to snap his neck.

“That’s coming from you?”, he asked incredulously, "what happened to your whole 'I hate holidays of any kind' attitude?"

Sam shrugged and looked down at his dishes like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Y/N is right. We could probably use a break. And treat Jack to something that doesn't put him in danger or involve hunting something? Doesn't sound so bad."

Dean looked at his brother like he just told him he fucked an archangel. He narrowed his eyes hard once, then slowly turned back to you and took another sip of his coffee. "Then the verdict was well passed," he murmured dramatically.

You smiled and banged your flat hands on the table in excitement. "Thank you!" you said happily and jumped up. "I'll tell Jack." And with that you were out of the kitchen again.

Dean waited until he was sure you were out of earshot, then turned to Sam. "Not a bad idea? What happened to you?”

Sam ignored his brother and began to put the plates back in the shelves. In the process, he had to move some misplaced cups and bowls out of the way. Apparently Castiel had cleared out the dishwasher again.

"We've got two kids here now, Dean," Sam said. "Although one of them looks more like a twenty-two year-old, but still." He closed the cabinet doors and made his way out of the kitchen.

"Don't ruin the Christmas spirit, Dean!" he called out.

"The Christmas spi- Since when are you interested in Christmas?" Dean was outraged, but Sam couldn't - or didn't want to - hear him anymore.

—

Dean Winchester was a complicated man about a lot of things. Feelings, interpersonal relationships, trust, feelings. But he was definitely simple in one thing: his interests.

In your opinion, Dean Winchester could be described as a nerd, even if you would never tell him that to his face. That was a realization you made to yourself at one point and one that you would keep to yourself.

But this realization made it easy for you to choose a gift for him. Yes, you said no presents this Christmas, but that wasn't a rule, more a persuasion tactic to get Sam and Dean to celebrate it with you.

But secretly you knew exactly what you would get Dean. And you knew where to get it, too, but you'd have to sneak away from the watchful eyes of your family first. Under a good pretext, of course. And you actually already had it.

With a small cloth bag on your shoulder, for money and later the gift you would come back with, you entered the Crows Nest, where Dean and Cas sat bent over a piece of paper - actually, Cas stood - and were discussing something.

Dean looked up when he saw you coming and eyed the bag with suspicion. "Where are you going?"

You stopped just short of the stairs up. "Buy a Christmas tree," you lied, "I figured better late than never."

A few days had passed since you had had the conversation with Sam and Dean in the kitchen, and the subject of Christmas hadn't been explicitly brought up since.

The bunker still had its old, undecorated glory (if you could call it that) and from the looks of it, Dean was already keeping his eyes out for a new hunt.

You could tell from the brief, confused look that flitted across his face when you said the words "Christmas" and "tree" to him, but he skilfully covered it up with a clearing of his throat.

"That's right, there was something," he said and you raised your eyebrows. Just as you were about to go up the stairs, you heard Dean's voice say, "Take Jack with you."

You stopped abruptly and slowly turned in the direction of your father, who was looking up at you together with the angel.

"Jack?" you repeated questioningly. "Why that?"

Not that you had a problem with that, no, no. But the thing is, you wanted to buy a secret gift for Dean, and Jack, well. He wasn't very good with secrets. Not even on purpose. But the ability to distinguish relevant information to be released from information that should be kept private was sometimes difficult for him.

Dean leaned back in his chair. "Well, you said that one of the reasons that you suddenly went all Whoville was because you wanted to show Jack the good side of life. So take him with you. Buy a Christmas tree.”

Cas next to him nodded. "I think that sounds like a very good idea too."

Dean pointed to Cas behind him and made a face that clearly said ‘See?’.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and protest as you reluctantly tramped back down the stairs and set off in search of the Nephilim.

When the heavy door of the bunker closed again a few minutes later behind the two of you, Cas turned a little critically to Dean and asked: "What did you mean when you talked about Christmas?"

"Huh?" Dean only looked up briefly from the spell they had been eyeing before he understood Cas' question and gave his attention back to the piece of paper.

“Ah yes, Y/N got it in their head that we really need to celebrate Christmas this year. Something about we need a break and Jack needs to get to know the good things in life. That whole crap.” He waved it off and read an ingredient out loud. "Lamprocapnos spectabilis. What's that supposed to mean? If witches write stuff like that, then please do it in a way that I don't need a doctor's degree to understand all of it!"

"But if today is Christmas Eve," Cas continued, without paying much attention to Dean's tantrum, "Why do you not see that anywhere here?" He looked around. "Excuse my bluntness, but I think it looks as barren as ever."

Dean put his head in his hands and stifled a groan. "That's because nobody has hung anything up yet, Cas," he growled to the angel.

Ca's frown deepened. "But why? If Y/N wishes-"

"I don't know if you've noticed, Cas, but we've been a little busy kicking the devil's ass back to hell lately, so sorry if I don't put myself in white and red dress-up and hop around shouting Ho-Ho-Ho!”

Castiel rolled his shoulders back and cocked his chin. His eyes sparkled angrily. "Dean,” he said, “Your child has never asked for anything before. Only ever did what you wanted to keep you satisfied. I think you can grant them this one wish.”

Dean wanted to say something, but Cas had already turned away and headed for the library. "Now if you'll excuse me, I will go find Sam and look for something to decorate with him. So we can celebrate Christmas.”

And with that he was gone, leaving Dean alone in the Crows Nest, parchment still on the table and head thrown back in annoyance.

—

While the adults stayed back in the bunker, you and Jack had taken it upon yourselves to pick a fitting Christmas tree. You had taken the Impala to a nearby village, which’s advertisement told you that you would find some here.

Now you were following the written signs, Jack trailing slightly behind you.

“What are we even looking for in a Christmas tree?” Jack suddenly asked and you shrugged.

“Well, nothing specific, really. Just a tall pine tree, which we will put in the bunker and then we’ll decorate it with some ornaments, tinsel, and maybe candy canes.”

“What are those?”

“What are what?”

“Candy canes. What are those?”

You stopped dead in your tracks and turned to Jack with a look of disbelief on your face. “You don’t- you don’t know what candy canes are?” You asked.

Jack frowned. “No,” he said.

“But you know about punch, right?” You asked. “And candied apples? And roasted almonds?”

Jack’s frown deepened and turned into a thinking pout. “No, I don’t.”

You couldn’t believe it. Jack Kline, the nephilim, the most powerful being in this universe, was standing in front of you and telling you he didn’t know the most important elements of a successful Christmas time.

Then again, his multi-dimensional knowledge maybe didn’t apply to the nostalgic beings of life.

Curtly, you took Jack’s hand and began pulling him after you. “Well then it’s about time I introduce you.”

“And what about the Christmas tree?” Jack asked. “I think they’ll survive if it reaches the bunker a few hours later,” you calmed him down. And with that, you took course towards a constellation of small huts, with crowds of people standing around and chattering, an excited Jack Kline in tow.

—

Annoyed and yet willing - as you know him - Dean Winchester stood on a long ladder and tied a few loose fir branches to the banister with some wool, which Sam hung with small bells.

It had taken a few hours, and yet they had made it.

“Wow Sam, the decoration we found in your room was indeed enough,” Castiel praised as he admired a wreath hanging from the archway.

Sam smiled and tied one last bell in a pine branch. Then he handed it to Dean.

"I still think we should hang up mistletoe," Sam said conspiratorially and Dean almost fell off the ladder.

"No," the older one decided firmly when he'd recovered. "Absolutely not."

When he wasn't looking, Sam mocked him with grimaces. "Alright, Grinch," he murmured under his breath and got an "I heard that!" thrown at him by his older brother.

Sam shook his head nonchalantly, preferring to step back to survey the work they'd done. Glittering garlands with bows hung over the individual exits from the crows nest, and small wreaths could be seen here and there on the doors. The dancing branches that Dean was hanging up were made from found branches and some loose decorations that they had found in Sam's box.

All in all it didn't look too bad. Dean himself was surprised what his little brother had hidden in his room.

“So” The older one finally climbed down from the ladder and looked at his work on the banister. "Not too bad," he stated, and Sam also knew that this would be the highest level of enthusiasm for the decoration that Dean would show them.

"When we're done here," Castiel said, a slight smile curling his lips, "then I would retire to the kitchen for a little while. I still have work to do there." Before either brother could react, he was gone again.

"Hate it when he does that," Dean gruntled, but proceeded to quietly put the ladder away.

—

Some time and many market stalls later, Jack and you were standing around a small, round table, steaming cups of punch set on the wooden surface in front of you.

Children's punch, of course - non-alcoholic. After all, 50% of those present here were not even two years old.

You cautiously took a sip from your mug, Jack was still eyeing his drink suspiciously after burning his tongue from the hot liquid just a moment earlier.

Seeing how effortlessly you drank, he finally dared to take a small sip, and noticing that the punch had cooled further, he took a larger one. You smiled at him as he put the cup down again and licked his lips with relish. His had a little angel printed on it - which you personally thought was very fitting.

"So," you asked, "Did you enjoy the little Christmas tour?" Jack grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

"And these are all Christmas traditions?" he asked and you nodded. "Yep. That and Santa Claus putting presents under the tree for the good kids on Christmas Eve.” you sighed. “But that's just a tale parents tell their little kids. And as you get older, you realize that it was the adults all along and a bit of the magic is gone."

Jack frowned. "So you know that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"

You nodded "Yes."

“Then, why do you want to celebrate Christmas so badly?” Jack asked, curious.

You lowered your gaze and ran your finger along the side of the mug. Suddenly the little reindeer drawn on it seemed incredibly interesting.

“I don’t know,” you said. But that was a lie. And Jack wasn’t stupid, he knew that. But he didn’t say anything, he just tilted his head slightly.

There was a moment of silence between you two.

“It’s just,” you said, “when I was still living at the Roadhouse, Dean would always visit somewhere around Christmas.” You smiled at the memory.

“When Jo first taught me how to fold stars out of paper, I did it all the time, for everyone. And a second time. And when Dad came by, I made him the most stars out of all. I knew he was always on the road, so I wanted to give him as many things as possible to remember me by. So he wouldn’t forget about me.”

You did your best to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat. “I made him the stars every year. Even if he stopped to come by at some point."

There was that silence again, only this time Jack clearly noticed your dejection and did what he had always seen Cas do when Dean wasn't feeling well.

He reached forward and gently placed his hand on yours. You gave him a grateful smile and he returned it.

Then suddenly, you sniffled once and brushed some loose hair away from your face. "But whatever. Christmas is just my favorite holiday in general.” You took a deep breath, making your shoulders rise and fall, and closed your eyes. “Just the warmth of a nicely decorated house or a nice punch when it's cold outside. There’s something about it."

Jack simply agreed with you on that. He couldn't confirm it himself, so he just trusted you on that point.

You quickly downed the last of your punch and encouraged Jack to do the same. "Come on, drink up. We still have to go somewhere."

Jack did as ordered and you brought back the two cups and received the deposit.

"Let's get a Christmas tree now?" Jack asked excitedly, but you shook your head. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have to get something else first."

"What then?" He asked.

"My present for my Dad."

"But you said no gifts?"

"It wasn't a rule, it was a necessary evil. But-” You pulled out your phone to double-check the exact address of the store. "I found something really great for him."

"What is it?" Jack sounded almost as excited as you felt, and that excitement was the reason you told him. "You know how much Dean loves Batman, right? And cars?" Jack nodded.

"Well, I scoured my friend, the good old internet, and found someone selling a miniature Batmobile!" You told him giddily.

Jack looked confused and it only struck you now that he probably didn't even know what the Batmobile was.

"It’s the car Batman drives." You explained. "Aaah," Jack went, and you could practically see the realization forming on his face as his eyes widened and his mouth opened in amazement.

“And why only a mini version?” he asked further. "Is that a toy car?"

Ouch. Would Dean have heard that now. "No Jack, it's not a toy car" you told him clearly. "It's a collector's item."

“Why would you want to collect small cars?”

You sighed loudly. "I don't know Jack, ask any man over thirty-five."

Jack was about to ask something else, but to your rescue, the small alarm sounded on your cell phone, signaling that you had reached your destination. You stopped and eyed the shop.

It was relatively small, and surrounded by other bright shops, decorated all around with Christmas decorations, it also looked a bit deserted. Miller's Antiques was written in large letters on a sign above the front door. You exchanged a look with Jack. He seemed just as skeptical.

"Well, it won't be that bad," you said, not sure if you were trying to encourage Jack or yourself.

A small bell rang as you opened the door inward.

Jack always stayed behind you, as you entered the small building. It was actually a bit gloomy in here, the shelves, some filled to the ceiling with objects, seemed to keep all the sunlight from falling in. The only source of unnatural light was a shadeless lightbulb suspended in the middle of the room.

"Hello?" You asked into the silence, but there was no answer.

That's how every horror movie starts, you thought, and an uneasy feeling crept in. But no, now you had come so far, you would still manage these last few meters. Just give him the money, take the car, done. And then get out of here as soon as possible.

At the other end of the room was a counter. You and Jack approached it and you tentatively rang the little bell that stood there.

A moment passed, then another, until a slightly older man appeared from behind a curtain that apparently led to the warehouse, and stood at the counter.

"Can I help?" he asked, in a high yet raspy voice. Maybe a smoker, you thought. Or a Broadway singer with severely strained vocal cords.

"My name is Winchester, Y/N," you replied. "We emailed?" He seemed to think for a moment. "Ah yes, of course, Winchester," he finally recalled. "About the car, right?"

"Yes, exactly."

The lanky man leaned to the side a little and eyed Jack up and down with suspicion. "And who is this?"

Before you could reply, Jack had taken a step forward and raised his hand in greeting. "Hello," he said, "my name is Jack Kline. It's nice to meet you."

"He's a family friend," you added as the shop owner raised his eyebrow. "I see," he then murmured, turning back to you.

"You have the money with you?" You rummaged in your bag and held the wallet in front of his eyes.

"Good, good," he said, taking the curtain in his hand. "Then come with me. I put that somewhere back here."

Absolutely not. "Actually that's okay, we'll just wait here until you come back."

The man grinned. “Don't worry. I do not bite." You couldn't see Jack smiling behind you, and just as you were about to protest further, the boy squeezed past you with a "You're right" and followed the man behind the curtain.

You clenched your jaw. You really needed to give this guy some kidnapping avoidance tutoring. Nevertheless, especially because you no longer had a choice, you also stepped forward into the darkened room.

"Jack?" you asked. "Mr Miller?"

But no answer came.

Worried, you went to search the room when you felt something hurt terribly on the back of your head, and at the same moment everything went black.

—

In the meantime in the Bunker, there was a festive Christmas smell coming from the kitchen. Dean dismissed the smell somewhat suspiciously, because "After all, it's Cas," he had told Sam. "He doesn’t eat, how is he supposed to cook something?"

Also, the fact that he had been in there for a while made Dean a little uncomfortable. Not that he broke anything. Or would char. Not in his kitchen.

Hopefully he didn't misclassify the knives. As much as Dean loved him, he wouldn't forgive that.

When Cas then finally entered the library, he carried a wooden tray in front of him. On it were several glasses with a yellow-creamy liquid in them.

Sam and Dean raised their gazes and looked surprised first to the drinks, and then to Cas. "What do you have there, Cas?" Sam asked, trying to peer into the glasses.

"Glad you asked," Castiel said. "This is Egg Nog. I've heard it's a Christmas tradition among humans, so I thought I'd up the ante on the Christmas cheer."

He held out the tray to the two of them. "Try it."

The brothers each grabbed a glass from the tray and took a long gulp of the Christmas drink. Dean's eyes clenched and widened again and Sam's eyebrows shot up. As they put the glasses back down, Castiel asked, "How is it?"

"Mm-hm," Dean said, mouth still full, thumbs up. Sam did the same.

Castiel smiled contentedly. "Well then. I'll put the rest aside so we have enough supplies. And also for Y/N and Jack when they come back.” With that, he turned around and disappeared from the library again towards the kitchen with his tray in hand.

The moment he was out of sight, Dean pulled the closest plant to him and spat the contents out of his mouth into the pot, Sam did the same with his glass.

Dean wiped his mouth. "I have the feeling that Cas read a bottle and a half instead of a cup and a half of rum," he said in disgust.

Sam looked over at him. "Isn't that like a normal dose for you?"

Dean looked at the glass as if it had just bitten his finger. "Not all at once, no," he replied. "But we don't have to tell Cas that." With that, he poured the remaining contents of the glass into the plant pot and turned back to his laptop and the show he was watching.

Zoe was about to break up with Wade and Cas' performance had interrupted the dramatic moment. That was also something he wouldn't tell him.

He had just resumed the series, when Sam felt like he had to interrupt him.

"Tell me, did you get Y/N's gift yet?" he asked. Annoyed, Dean pressed the pause button again and pulled his headphones out of his ears.

"What now?"

"Y/N's present," Sam repeated. "You know, wrapped in colored paper, with a bow-"

"I know what a present is," Dean interrupted abruptly. "But why should I have gotten one for Y/N? They specifically said no gifts.”

Sam sighed. "Dean," he began. Sometimes he thought his brother was a lost cause in this area. "Y/N is your child. And regardless of whether they have a no-gift rule or not, it would be right to give them something anyway. Especially after what has happened the last few years.”

"What's happened in the last few years," Dean grumbled lowly. "I don't even know what to get them!" he followed behind, already a little desperate. Sam had made him nervous.

But the younger one just shrugged. "Neither do I. You probably know them best of all of us.”

That ended the conversation for Sam. And he left behind, sitting opposite him, a thinking Dean Winchester, who still had to find a Christmas present from somewhere. And at best, before you came back, which, unfortunately for him, wouldn't be a very long time. After all, how much time would buying a Christmas tree take?

—

When you woke up, at first you thought you were still unconscious. It took your eyes a while to adjust to the darkness around you and to work with what little light came through a dirty little window.

Slowly but surely, individual silhouettes stood out from the darkness and you recognized furniture, walls, pillars. Now that you thought about it, this looked like a basement. The pillars to support a house and all the junk that was just dumped here because it wasn't needed anymore.

With the realization, a throbbing pain in the back of your head set in. You wanted to raise your hand to grab the spot, but you couldn't. With a groan of frustration, you realized that your hands were tied with ropes around one of the pillars, and it felt pretty tight. Great. At least you were tied so you could sit down.

"Jack?" you asked into the silence, having an odd déjà-vu. Then it popped into your head. The antique shop. Your dad's gift. And the shady man that Jack had so willingly followed behind the curtain.

"Y/N?" came a hesitant voice, and your heart lifted. "Thank the gods you're fine," you sighed.

You still didn't know who this man was or what he wanted exactly. But if he tied you and Jack here together, then maybe he didn't even know he was a Nephilim.

Was it your last name? Did he have a grudge against the Winchesters? Or thought he could lure Sam and Dean out by capturing you? Or Cas with Jack?

Wouldn't be the first time.

The pounding in the back of your head slowly diminished. The blow didn't seem to have been too hard. Which meant you probably hadn't been unconscious for very long either. And yet you thought about it.

"Well, hello!" suddenly sounded a voice. A high, yet scratchy one. Either a smoker or a former Broadway star. The voice of the man who locked you in here.

"Miller," you spat. He stopped in front of you and grinned down at you. Only now did you notice that he held a pistol in his right hand. Swell.

"Good morning sunshine!" he chirped. "Sleep well?" He didn't wait for an answer from you, just kept talking. "I apologize for the inconvenience, please understand, we are not a star hotel here, but I made the best of it."

You clenched your jaw and gave him murderous looks.

"Who are you? Why are you doing all this?” Jack called from behind you and you tried to put your hand on his to signal 'shut up'. But it was too late. Miller's attention shifted to Jack until he was standing in front of him as well.

"Why am I doing this?" he repeated, still grinning. "Why, for the money of course!" That's when he licked his lips and looked back at you angrily.

“And most people are so totally fine with getting their pieces delivered. By post. You tell them you have something that they want, one of Britney Spears’ gel nails, the scarf that Niki Lauda wore at his first race …” He trailed off. You made a face. “And the bottom line is: I get the money, but these people never get their product. That's the way it works."

He lazily pointed his gun towards you.

"But no, not you," he continued scornfully. "You wanted to come by personally. Get a Batmobile collectible.” He cracked a dirty laugh. “So I had to improvise! That is why, both of you, are sitting here, tied up." He shrugged his shoulders. "It wasn't my first option, but I had to think fast."

You were confused. What the guy said made some sense, but only if one piece of the puzzle in your story was wrong.

"The money? internet fraud? What-" you cut yourself off as you came to a realization. “Wait, are you- human?”

Now it was Miller's turn to be confused. "Uh yeah? And newsflash, you are too?”

"So, you're no demon?" You continued to ask. "Shapeshifter, vampire, anything?"

"No, I- what the hell are you even talking about?" He looked at Jack as if he had all the answers ready for him.

"Ugh," you groaned, banging your head against the pillar behind you. Which in hindsight probably wasn't such a smart idea, because now it was hurting again.

"You're telling me we got overrun by some common white guy?" Embarrassing. If your dad found out! Holy hell.

But Miller seemed duly indignant at your report. "Well, I beg you pardon," he said. "I think I did pretty well for a beginner." He shrugged.

"Now that I think about it, it's actually kind of a shame. I've grown fond of you two. Especially you, cowboy.” He pointed the pistol at Jack.

"You seem so easy."

"And now?" Jack asked, with as much contempt in his voice as he could muster. "Are you going to kill us?"

Miller's eyes widened in mock horror. "Kill you?" he asked. "Oh no, no, no. I'm not a murderer. And it's Christmas.” He smiled, and you didn't like it at all.

"No, you just stay here. For a while. A couple of days. Nobody ever comes down into this cellar. And if you starve to death, well.” He sighed in faked wistfulness. "Then I call that a very tragic end to two young lives."

"That's a lot worse than just shooting us," you pointed out and the man rolled his eyes. "Teens and their smartasses," he murmured.

"Well then," he said, stamping his foot briefly. "I'm getting back to work. You two, have a good time down here. And don't even try yelling, the doors are pretty thick.” He waved goodbye before turning and heading up the stairs. "Until then!"

You wriggled indignantly in your bonds. "Good, then leave us here!" You yelled after him. "But if the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future come to take you, I will not save you, Mr Scrooge!"

The thunder of the heavy steel door signaled his absence and you slumped back into your still position.

"Mr Scrooge?" You grimaced. "That was the best I could do?"

"Y/N," Jack's voice came from across the pillar. "How do we get out of here?"

You thought.The adults didn't have a clue where you were, and due to the defensive sigils on your ribs and Jack's powers, Castiel couldn't track you.

Jack's Powers!

"Jack, you have to break these bonds!" you begged him.

It was quiet for a moment. "I- I don't know how." Jack's voice sounded small and scared from the other side, and you felt almost bad for pressuring him like that.

"I know it scares you, Jack," you coaxed him. “But we won't get out of here otherwise. I didn't take any of my knives, I wasn't prepared for that. Our dads don't know where we are. You're the only one who can save us and get us home, Jack. Please."

He still hesitated. "I believe in you," you continued to encourage him. “You can do this. Call it a Christmas miracle. It will work and you won't hurt me."

You felt your hands getting warmer. But it wasn't warmth, like from a flame or a fireplace, no, it was pure energy. Pure and pulsating, it emanated from Jack's hands and in the next instant, the bonds were loose.

You jumped up to help Jack up too, only to feel the consequences as your head started pounding again.

"See?" you smiled at him. "Christmas Miracle." A small, proud smile played on Jack's lips as well as he looked at his hands.

A loud bang sounded moments later as the heavy door was thrown off its hinges. You clambered over it, and followed a few more spiraling stairs up to the back room where Miller knocked you down earlier.

Carefully, you and Jack crept between the stuffed shelves until you reached the black curtain again and slowly pushed it a bit aside.

Almost immediately in front of you, Miller was standing, with his back to you, engrossed in his laptop. Jack took a quick step forward and placed his palm on the back of the man's head, and the next moment he fell unconscious to the ground.

"He's just-" "Unconscious," Jack assured you, taking your hand. "Come on, we have to get out of here."

"One moment." You bent down and grabbed Miller's ankles. "We have to do something first. Help me."

Jack grabbed the man under his arms and you both carried him out of the small shop. The bell jingled as the door opened and closed again.

—

In the meantime. several hours had passed. Which was more hours than Dean would have liked. The sun was already low in the sky, and even if they couldn't see it from the bunker, Dean could guess it. He was about a vanishing ray of sunshine away from jerking open the door and personally looking for Jack and Y/N.

"They’ve been gone too long," he said, for what must have been the thirteenth time, as he paced around the Crows Nest. Sam looked up from his book and to his brother.

"Dean, they're both almost adults. And Jack is the most powerful entity in this universe. I think they’ll manage.”

"Mm-hm," Dean went, and Sam knew he hadn't convinced him. Just like the other twelve times.

Then, as if called upon, they heard the squeak of the heavy front door and a slightly disheveled Jack Kline entered, with an exhausted Y/N Winchester in tow.

Dean was already waiting for you both at the foot of the stairs. "What the hell took you so long? And why didn't either of you answer your phone? We didn't know where you were, something could have happened to you!"

You and Jack ducked your heads and Jack was about to say something when you cut him off. "I'm sorry, Dad," you apologized. "Will not happen again."

Dean's anger seemed to subside a little because his voice sounded calmer and softer when he said it. "I hope so. I was worried."

And even if it was probably a little inappropriate in this situation, you felt a bit warm at his words.

"Uhm guys", Sam asked. "Where is the Christmas tree?"

You and Jack looked at each other in alarm and then back at the adults. Now Dean's eyebrows were raised expectantly, too.

“The Christmas tree?”, you asked, slowly. Sam nodded.

"We got kidnapped," Jack blurted out.

"Excuse me what now?" Dean's eyebrows shot up.

"Yes, Jack," you slowly dragged, turning to the Nephilim. "What?"

"But we took care of it," he added and in his eyes shone pride. “I used my powers. Without hurting anyone."

Cas nodded in appreciation. “That is a very success. I'm proud of you."

Jack's smile almost went in circles if his ears weren't between them, he smiled so hard.

Dean, however, still seemed a little worried. "Are you alright? Did they hurt you?” He reached for your head, but you dodged him. "It's fine, Dad, I promise. Like Jack said. We took care of it."

—

One by one, the lights went out in the sheriff's department. Sheriff Dowers, a slightly stocky woman, was turning off the last of the lights as she prepared to leave her office.

Christmas Eve with the whole family, well that would be something - again. With her mother-in-law, who always complained about how seldom she was at home, or her great-aunt, who had something to criticize about her appearance every time they saw each other.

She shuddered just at the thought. It would take her nerves of steel again to get through this. And lots of mulled wine.

Dowers rubbed her eyes tiredly and was about to lock the door, when she suddenly saw a crouched figure in the darkness. As she got closer, she realized it was a man, probably in his forties, hands tied behind his back on the lantern that stood in front of the police station.

Through the dim light she saw a folded Christmas card tied to the man's bonds. It featured a decorated Christmas tree with gifts and the words "Merry Christmas to you!".

The sheriff opened the card in surprise and hesitated, as she read it: My name is Aaron Miller, owner of Miller's Antiques. I have scammed countless people out of their money online. You can find all of this on my laptop. Best wishes and a Merry Christmas! was written in it.

Sheriff Dowers looked at the man tied up. She had never experienced such a strange arrest. But that was just fine with her. Maybe her Christmas Eve wasn't going to be as torturous as expected after all.

—

After another lecture on safety and self-defense from Dean, you'd retreated to the warmth of your room to get out of your wet, cold, dirty clothes.

You were now dressed in an oversized hoodie and red plaid pajama bottoms. While you were stuffing the dirty things into the laundry basket, there was a soft knock on the door. "Yes?" you answered, and your Dad walked in through the open door.

"Hey," he said. "Hey," you said back.

For a moment neither of you said anything, you just stood there and looked at each other. Then Dean broke the silence.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked. Again.

"Yes I'm fine," you assured him. Again. "I fight monsters on a weekly basis, I think I'll be able to deal with a human kidnapping."

Dean's facial expression changed. "Wait. Are you saying - that was no monster?” he asked.

You shook your head. "Nope."

"You got jumped by a regular guy?"

You threw your arms in the air and Dean chuckled.

"Oh, now all of a sudden you're not worried anymore?"

He put an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him. "I know there's nothing to worry about because I know you kicked ass."

You grinned up at him. "Indeed we did."

Dean cleared his throat and let go of you. Then he sat on the edge of your bed and patted the seat next to him.

"So," he began when you sat down next to him, "I know you said we don't need any presents this Christmas. But, I figured, after all you've accomplished since you've been with us-' He pulled out a small package, wrapped in brown parchment paper and sealed neatly, and for a moment it occurred to you that probably Sam was the one who had wrapped it.

"Well, I figured you deserved it," Dean finished, handing you the present.

Incredulous, you opened the taped ends to avoid tearing the paper and pulled out what was in it.

"Stockings?" You gave your dad a questioning look.

Dean shrugged. "Yes, so you can hang them over the fireplace next year," he explained. "You know, how you do it at Christmas. I think."

"Next year?" you asked hopefully.

Now he avoided your gaze. "Well, I mean yeah, Christmas is stressful and pretty much unnecessary when you think about it, and we don't have time for-" He stopped himself and took a deep breath. "But maybe if we prepare a little better next time, it could be quite nice. And maybe then with official gifts.”

He smiled at you. You couldn't believe it. and without further ado you threw the stockings on the bed and pulled your dad into a tight hug.

"Thank you," you mumbled in his ear.

“You earned it, kiddo,” he said back. “I’m proud of you.”

You smiled into his flannel shirt. "Your heart has tripled in size. Like the Grinch.”

"Okay, thanks, Merry Christmas to you too," Dean replied in a sarcastic tone and broke the hug.

You were looking at the stockings next to you when you suddenly remembered what had become of your gift, and felt slightly depressed.

"I, um-" You lowered your gaze and fumbled with your fingers. “I actually had the plan to give you something, too. But then there was this thing with-"

At that moment the door was yanked open and both Dean's and your head shot in that direction. But only Jack stood in the doorway, hand raised in greeting. "Hello," he said, taking a step further into your room. The door that had opened so loud rested quietly against the wall. He must have used his powers to open it.

"Y/N, I am bringing you the gift for Dean," he continued, and only now did you register the small package in his hands.

"Wh-" You gaped at Jack in confusion.

He just smiled his innocent smile at you and nodded his head.

"Yes, you almost forgot it in the kitchen."

He placed the object in your hands. 'Thank you', you mouthed in his direction. Jack simply smiled and then courtly left the room again, but not before raising his hand to say goodbye, of course.

You turned to Dean again and, a little awkwardly, put the present in his hands.

You wondered what it could be. It definitely wasn't the car, the package wasn't the right shape for that. It was circular, yet a little flat. It was wrapped with colorful Christmas wrapping paper, and sealed with much, much tape. You smiled to yourself at the thought of Jack, highly focused, doing his best to cover up whatever was in there.

On top of it was a white bow, that Dean sort of brutally ripped off, just as he did the rest of the paper – a total opposite to your careful hand.

As he pulled the item out of the paper, you could almost see his eyes light up as he read the label.

"Howard Coleman's limited-edition Christmas pie—with cinnamon and apples straight from the North Pole!" And now you got it, too. It was the pie that Dean had been eyeing in stores for the past few days, whenever they passed it. All you knew about it was that it seemed to only come out once a year — around Christmas time — and it was supposed to taste like Santa baked it himself with his elves.

You smiled to yourself. How pure Jack was that he remembered it and allowed you to pass it off as your gift.

Dean was still grinning from ear to ear. "Ha-ha! I gotta show this to Sam, we gotta cut him straight!”

With that, he jumped up and planted a loving kiss on your hairline. "Thank you," he said and then he was already out the door.

—

Everyone was gathered in the crows nest. The garlands glittered and the whole building was filled with the smell of cinnamon. Little conversations ensued and everyone held a mug full of hot chocolate that Sam had specially conjured up.

A better option than Cas' failed egg-nog.

When the angel had gone around, offering you and Jack one of the glasses, all you could see was Sam hastily making a ‘Don’t do it’-gesture, and that was enough for you to politely say No.

"Have a good Christmas," you said, sprinkling sprinkles onto the whipped cream in your cocoa.

But Jack just looked at the empty space under the stairs.

"Now we don't even have a Christmas tree," he remarked, disappointment evident in his voice. Sam and you gave the young boy pitying looks.

Suddenly the signature woosh of Cas' wings could be heard and the angel was gone. Dean looked puzzled next to himself, where he had just been standing, and whirled around when he heard the wings again - accompanied by a rustling and clanking.

There, under the stairs, stood Castiel, with a huge green fir tree beside him, adorned with blue, white, and silver decorations. Jack's eyes almost popped out of his head and your mouth dropped open.

"Cas, where- where did you get that tree?" Sam asked incredulously. Cas looked at him with an almost reproachful look. "I'm an angel, remember?" he said, and that settled the matter.

Then Dean re-entered the room, having only recently left it unnoticed by anyone, holding an old CD-player in his hand.

He placed it on the big table and pushed a few buttons, and a slow Christmas carol started playing out of the speakers.

Everyone raised their mugs of hot chocolate and Dean poured some cherry liqueur into everyone's cups. You pressed yours close to Sam's, but Dean, always the psychic, noticed and pushed it away with his pinky finger.

You gave him a grim look, but he ignored you.

"Merry Christmas," Cas wished, and the rest joined in the chorus. "Merry Christmas!"

Mugs were clattering against each other, and Jack could be heard silently humming along to the music’s tune.

While everyone was busy chatting and laughing with one another, nobody noticed how Dean and Cas stole away. Together they stood a little apart, under the archway that led to the library. Dean leaned casually against the stonewall and looked at the scene that was playing out in front of them.

A slight smile graced his lips, and he didn't notice how Cas looked at him from the side, wearing just the same fond smile on his face.

"Considering that a few years ago I wouldn't have even dreamed of this happening - Christmas, hot chocolate, decorations-" Dean stopped himself. "A child. That doesn't come from murderous female warriors and wants to kill me.” He laughed lightly and took a sip of the hot chocolate.

"It's fascinating to see how despite all the suffering we've been through, good moments like this can still happen," Castiel agreed.

Dean turned his attention back to his angel and pushed himself slightly off the wall. "It's even better when everyone you care about is there."

Cas avoided Dean's look in flushed embarrassment. Suddenly the angel felt something trickling down onto his shoulder. It was an oblong shaped, small leaf with smooth edges.

He looked up in surprise. There by the archway above them, hung a bush full of those leaves, and round white berries within.

Dean groaned softly as he followed Cas' gaze and also discovered the plant. "I told Sam not to," he murmured.

Castiel looked at him questioningly. "What is it?"

Dean suddenly got very flustered and started stuttering. "It's, um- it's mistletoe. A Christmas tradition where you—”

"I do, in fact, know this tradition," Cas interrupted him in a low voice.

Dean only now noticed how close the angel actually was to him. And unperturbed, his heart began to beat faster until it pounded in his throat.

He was afraid that Cas could hear it.

But like the conversations around them, this fear faded into the background when Dean leaned forward the last centimeter to Castiel and put his own lips on those of the black-haired angel.

It wasn't a long kiss if measured in time, minutes, seconds. But for Dean it felt infinite. And not the infinity that stretches forever, no. The infinity in which you let yourself fall into a sky full of happiness and love. He let himself fall into the feel of Cas' warm lips on his, which still tasted a little of the hot chocolate and cherry liqueur.

When they broke apart, Dean felt the need to kiss him again at the same moment.

Cas' blue eyes looked deep into his green ones.

"Merry Christmas, Dean," he whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Cas."

And for that one moment, everything was perfect. And everything was warm.

Maybe Y/N was right. Maybe his heart had tripled in size.

Then, Sam's voice rang from the the table. “Cas, is that the Walmart Logo on our Christmas tree?”

#Spotify #winchester!daughter #winchester!reader #dean winchester x child!reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x castiel #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural destiel #jack kline #jack kline x reader #christmas in the old man’s hat #yourmomxx #cw supernatural #supernatural imagine #destiel #dean x castiel #destiel fic

[felassan]

Dragon Age: The Official Cookbook: Tastes of Thedas lore compilation / notes / thoughts [Part 1 of 2]

(Link to Part 2, in text form (pls copy-paste) as Tumblr won't let me add it as a normal link: https://felassan.tumblr.com/post/732826339350102016/dragon-age-the-official-cookbook-tastes-of)

Reference, info & general observations/ramble post ◕‿◕ (Post contents under a cut, in case anyone would rather not read cookbook spoilers. also due to post length)

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

If I have forgotten, misread or misunderstood something, please let me know.

This post is part 1 of 2, as it was getting rly long.

Dishes by type

Starters & Refreshments: Eggs à la Val Foret, Nevarran Blood Orange Salad, Fried Young Giant Spiders, Stuffed Deep Mushrooms, Rivaini Couscous Salad, Crab Cakes from Kirkwall, Fluffy Mackerel Pudding, Snail & Watercress Salad, Cave Beetles

For the Road: Spiced Jerky, Grey Warden Pastry Pockets, Pickled Eggs, Unidentified Meat, Seheron Fish Pockets, Fereldan Hearty Scones, Crow Feed, Black Lichen Bread, Hearth Cakes, Peasant Bread

Soups & Stews: Merrill's Blood Soup, Fereldan Potato and Leek Soup, The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew, Fish Chowder, Sweet and Sour Cabbage Soup, Lentil Soup, Nettle Soup, King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew

Main Courses: Stuffed Cabbage, Antivan Gnocchi, Antivan Paella, Grilled Poussin, Gurgut Roast with Lowlander Spices and Mushroom Sauce, Nug Pancakes, Fish in Salt Crust, Roasted Wyvern, Nug Bacon and Egg Pie, Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie, Cacio e Pepe, Turnip and Mutton Pie, Smoked Ham from the Anderfels, Roasted Turkey with Sides

Sides: Sera's Yummy Corn, Stuffed Vine Leaves, Honey Carrots, Nevarran Flat Bread and Yogurt Dip

Sweet Delights: Blancmange, Poison Stings, Dalish Forest Fruit Cobbler, Dwarven Plum Jam, Sour Cherries in Cream, Treviso Energy Balls, Rice Pudding, Goat Custard

Baked Goods: Antivan Apple Grenade, Found Cake, Varric's Favorite Cinnamon Rolls, Croissants, Cherry Cupcakes, Chocolate Cake, Varric's Favorite Pastries, Sugar Cake, Lamprey Cake, Tevinter Pumpkin Bread

Drinks & Potions: Lichen Ale, The Hissing Drake, Hot Chocolate, Antivan Sip-Sip, Dragon Piss, Rivaini Tea Blend, The Golden Nug, The Emerald Valley, Chasind Sack Mead

Notes: These dish 'categories' are from the book contents pages, which can be viewed here.

Dishes by place / culture of origin (DA Cookbook-specific list)

Ferelden: Pickled Eggs, Fereldan Hearty Scones, Fereldan Potato and Leek Soup, Sweet and Sour Cabbage Soup, King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew, Nug Bacon and Egg Pie, Turnip and Mutton Pie, Chocolate Cake

Kirkwall: Crab Cakes from Kirkwall, The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew, Roasted Turkey with Sides

Orlais: Eggs à la Val Foret, Grey Warden Pastry Pockets, Honey Carrots, Blancmange, Sour Cherries in Cream, Croissants

Tevinter: Unidentified Meat, Stuffed Vine Leaves, Cherry Cupcakes, Tevinter Pumpkin Bread

Antiva: Crow Feed, Fish Chowder, Antivan Gnocchi, Antivan Paella, Cacio e Pepe, Treviso Energy Balls, Antivan Apple Grenade, Antivan Sip-Sip

Nevarra: Nevarran Blood Orange Salad, Nevarran Flat Bread and Yogurt Dip

Rivain: Rivaini Couscous Salad, Goat Custard, Rivaini Tea Blend

Seheron: Seheron Fish Pockets

Starkhaven: Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie, Roasted Turkey with Sides

Free Marches: Roasted Turkey with Sides

Anderfels: Smoked Ham from the Anderfels

Avvar: Snail & Watercress Salad, Stuffed Cabbage, Gurgut Roast with Lowlander Spices and Mushroom Sauce, Fish in Salt Crust, Roasted Wyvern

Chasind: Grilled Poussin, Chasind Sack Mead

Dalish: Spiced Jerky, Hearth Cakes, Peasant Bread, Dalish Forest Fruit Cobbler

City Elf: Peasant Bread, Lentil Soup

Orzammar / dwarven: Fried Young Giant Spiders, Stuffed Deep Mushrooms, Cave Beetles, Nug Pancakes, Dwarven Plum Jam, Lichen Ale, Black Lichen Bread

Unspecified (DA Cookbook-specific list): Fluffy Mackerel Pudding, Merrill's Blood Soup, Nettle Soup, Sera's Yummy Corn, Poison Stings, Rice Pudding, Found Cake, Varric's Favorite Cinnamon Rolls, Varric's Favorite Pastries, Sugar Cake, Lamprey Cake, The Hissing Drake, Hot Chocolate, Dragon Piss, The Golden Nug, The Emerald Valley

Notes: Fluffy Mackerel Pudding seems to be Fereldan as it's found in DA:O in this Codex entry at the Arl of Redcliffe's Estate in Denerim. Snail & Watercress Salad isn't traditional Avvar cuisine; though snails are standard Avvar fare, this salad which has them in conjunction with other ingredients is Devon's take on snails that they made for their Avvar hosts. The given Spiced Jerky recipe is Dalish, but the book notes that preserved foods like it play an important role in many different Thedosian cultures. Grey Warden Pastry Pockets are a variation on a tough Grey Warden pastry which incorporates the far more delicate Orlesian puff pastry, that was championed by newer Warden recruits from Orlais. Unidentified Meat is usually served with Nevarran Flat Bread. Black Lichen Bread doesn't explicitly say but is clearly dwarven, as it references "underground" versus the "surface" and the dwarf Garin in Orzammar mentions it in DA:O. Peasant Bread is both Dalish and City Elf. Merrill's Blood Soup could be Dalish in origin as it's a recipe of Merrill's. Devon's Lentil Soup recipe has classic Tevinter flavors in it. Roasted Turkey with Sides is found throughout the Free Marches. Sera's Yummy Corn could be Fereldan in origin as it's a recipe of Sera's. Poison Stings is likely Tevinter as Dorian is fond of it. Rice Pudding could be Antivan or Rivaini as in Thedas you don't see much rice outside of Antiva or Rivain, or perhaps Tevinter or Qunari as it was a dish made by Krem, Iron Bull and the Chargers. Found Cake could be Fereldan as it's based on Dog's Found Cake in DA:O. Sugar Cake was purchased from a surface dwarf merchant and is based on Sugar Cake from DA:O (Feraldan dish? Dwarven?). Lamprey Cake was Devon's pickled lamprey-inspired cake, with pickled lamprey itself being a "singular" (implied: odd) favorite of an Orlesian noble. The Hissing Drake, The Golden Nug and The Emerald Valley are drinks served at the Gilded Horn in Orlais. The Emerald Valley's place of origin isn't given in the book, but we know from this Codex that it includes a spirit that is Orlesian, having been made in Lydes. Going by Iron Bull's dialogue with Varric, hot chocolate/cocoa is not from the south and is rare there. Dragon Piss could be Fereldan as it's based on Dragon Piss which is found in Ferelden.

Alphabetical ingredients / 'foodstuffs and drinks which exist in Thedas' list (DA Cookbook-specific list)

Notes: These ingredients are derived from the dish names and the lore blurbs (which appear to be in-world), not the recipes and associated ingredients lists themselves (which appear to be our world/irl-based). Also, this is a sort of scrappy list with mixed singular/plurals, some repeating stuff (e.g. I know pork, bacon, pig and ham is all "pig"), some non-specific stuff e.g. "herbs", and some stuff that is more 'a combo food' than 'a single ingredient' e.g. "dough", but just go with it ok hh, it's just meant to be a quick 'n' dirty reference list as a resource not a perfect culinary thing:

“Bitter greens”, Ale, Almonds, Antivan pasta, Antivan wine, Apples, Apple blossoms, Apricots, Assorted “forest fruits”, Ayesleigh gulabi goat (a breed of goat from which some goat’s milk is derived), Bacon, Bark, Bark bread, Barley, Beetroot, Biscuits, Black cherries, Black lichen, Blended teas, Blood oranges, Brandy, Bread, Buns, Butter (halla and other types), Cabbage, Carrot, Cave beetles, Celery, Chasind Wildwine, Cheese, Cheese sauce, Cherries, Chicken, Chickpeas, Chocolate, Chocolate cream cake, Cinnamon, Cocoa, Cocoa powder, Corn (yellow and non-yellow varieties), Couscous, Cows, Crab, Cranberry, Cream, Croutons, Currants, Custard (many variations), Cuttlefish, Dark bread, Deep mushrooms (several varieties), Dough, Dracolisk? (in one ‘sus meat’ recipe Devon wondered if it could be this), Dried fruit, Dry cheese, Eggs, Egg-white foam (for drinks, due to the The Gilded Horn’s Drink List codex), Fereldan ale, Fereldan barley, Figs, Fish, Flat bread, Flour, Flowers (over 70 different types of herbs and flowers used for food & drink exist), Giant spiders, Giant? (in one ‘sus meat’ recipe Devon wondered if it could be this), Gnocchi, Goat’s milk, Goats, Grains, Grapes, Grease, Gurguts, Halla butter, Ham, Harts, Herbs (over 70 different herbs and flowers used for food & drink exist), Hirol’s Lava Burst (due to the The Gilded Horn’s Drink List codex), Honey, Hot peppers, Jams & preserves, Jasmine flowers, Jerky, Lamb, Lamprey, Leeks, Lemon, Lemon juice, Lemon verbena, Lentils, Lichen (underground and surface varieties), Lichen ale, Licorice root, Llomerryn red, Llomerryn rum (due to the The Gilded Horn’s Drink List codex), Lurkers, Mackerel, Mango, Marshmallow (presumably meaning both the marshmallow plant and marshmallows, the confectionary that was originally made from the marshmallow plant. The form given in the cookbook is Orlesian guimauves, which accompany Iron Bull’s hot chocolate. “Guimauve” is French for marshmallow), Mead, Milk, Mincemeat, Mint, Mushroom, Mussels, Mutton, Nettle, Noodles, Nug, Nug bacon, Nuggets (nug-gets), Nutmeg (due to the The Gilded Horn’s Drink List codex), Nuts, Oats, Oil, Olives, Onion, Orange, Orange peel, Oregano, Pasta, Pastry, Peas, Peanut butter, Peanuts, Pepper (as in black pepper etc), Peppermint, Pickled things, Pickled vegetables, Pie, Pig, Plums, Pomegranate, Pork, Potatoes, Poussin, Prawns, Puff pastry, Pumpkin, Quillback (in one ‘sus meat’ recipe Devon wondered if it could be this, and in DA:I some NPCs mention it), Rabbit, Raisins, Rams, Raspberries, Red bell peppers, Red grapes, Rhubarb, Rice, Rolls, Royal elfroot (due to the The Gilded Horn’s Drink List codex), Rum (due to the The Gilded Horn’s Drink List codex), Saffron, Salt, Semolina flour, Sheep, Shrimp, Smoked meats, Snails, Sour ale, Sour cherries, Spices, Spinach, Spirits (as in alcohol), Strawberries, Sugar, Tea, Toasted bread, Tomatoes, Truffles, Turkey, Turnip, Tzatziki sauce, Vine leaves, Waffles, Water, Watercress, West Hill brandy, Wheat, Whipped cream, Whiskey (due to the The Gilded Horn’s Drink List codex), White chocolate, White frosting, White Seleny wine, White wine, Wildflowers, Wine, Wraps (soft), Wyverns, Yogurt

'See also' / 'did you know':

Eggs à la Val Foret

Fried Young Giant Spiders: previously made an appearance in the DA tabletop. The player party arrives at Chanra Thaig and sees "Bonfires built inside steel drums provide warm and heat for the dwarves huddled around them, cooking deepstalkers, what looks like the legs of giant spiders, and small rodent-like animals on spits". The dwarves have "fuel, water, and domesticated spiders and nugs in deeper chambers for food".

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding

Snail and Watercress Salad

Cave beetle previously made an appearance in the DA tabletop. They're described as "scavengers and carrion eaters", "black" and "hard-shelled". They're also known as "rock beetles" and are "little more than a nuisance on its own. Dwarves are even known to roast and eat them out of the shells".

Pickled Eggs (from "The Whole Nug" in World of Thedas)

Seheron Fish Pockets: Iron Bull has dialogue where he says "I remember one guy, he made these things - fish wrapped in thin bread". He was talking of a street food vendor in Seheron who had been forced by Tevinter spies to poison his food. Fittingly, in the cookbook Devon narrates that they learned this recipe from a Charger.

Black Lichen Bread: Garin from DA:O had an incident a few years back where he cut himself and some raw lyrium dust got into his blood. Since then it's been hard for him to concentrate and he's forgetful. He mentions bread that's made by using lichen (I think he mentioned that his lunch was a slice of lichen bread). interestingly, like lyrium, the cookbook lore blurb for Black Lichen Bread contains reference to how black lichen is toxic.

Hearth Cakes (from "The Whole Nug" in World of Thedas)

Peasant Bread: appears in The Masked Empire. in the Dalish camp, Dalish cooks prepared a midday meal, which was served along with peasant bread. "It was almost equal parts wheat, salt, and grease, and in lean winters, it was sometimes the only thing that could put meat on a peasant's bones." Michel watches an old elven woman drizzle honey across a piece and remembers his City Elven mother putting a bit of sugar she had stolen from the tavern she worked in on his piece of bread. The cookbook lore blurb for Peasant Bread says it is eaten by Dalish elves and City elves alike in Orlais, with the recipe being "very straightforward, calling for wheat, salt, and grease in nearly equal parts". Also, in The Last Court, Seraultine (Orlesian) peasants are described as eating bread at mealtimes

The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew: in a DAII loading screen, it says that the tavern's feature dish is a stew made from a different mystery meat every morning

Fish Chowder: in DA:O Zevran says "Can you smell that? Like rotting flesh. Just like back in Antiva City. Now if only you could find me a prostitute or two, a bowl of fish chowder and a corrupt politician, I'd really feel like I was home!"

Sweet and Sour Cabbage Soup (the cookbook lore blurb mentions the Orlesian troupe of actors from the show Wilkshire Downs. in this codex they are mentioned along with "cabbage stew")

King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew: Alistair and Leliana have this dialogue in DA:O about this dish (Ctrl-F "pea stew").

Antivan Gnocchi: In Tevinter Nights (Eight Little Talons), the Crow leaders eat gnocchi with dinner

Gurgut Roast with Lowlander Spices and Mushroom Sauce

Nug Pancakes, two

Fish in Salt Crust

Roasted Wyvern. Also Isabela has dialogue in Mark of the Assassin where she says "I hope I'm not expected to eat roast wyvern after this." The lore blurb in the cookbook for this dish also references this Codex

Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie (from "The Whole Nug" in World of Thedas)

Cacio e Pepe: First mentioned in Tevinter Nights (The Wigmaker Job). Illario complains "This isn't Cacio e Pepe" while making a show of tapping his dagger against a plate of leftovers. Lucanis replies "You ordered an Antivan dish in Tevinter. What did you expect?", to which Illario quips "Something edible".

Turnip and Mutton Pie

Smoked Ham from the Anderfels: a servant in Mark of the Assassin offers Hawke and Tallis "smoked ham from the Anderfels. They say it tastes of despair". Tallis replies "Wait, does it really? How can ham taste of despair? Why would anyone eat it if it did?". The servant explains "That's what the importer said. They all talk like that" apparently. This dish is also mentioned in DA:I. After WEWH Dorian says "I hope you tried the ham they were serving, by the way. Tastes of despair. Fascinating". The cookbook lore blurb asserts that contrary to rumors and what the importers say, this ham does not, in fact, taste of despair. Also, see The Jade Ham (tumblr won't let me add it as a proper link: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/The_Jade_Ham), as the cookbook lore blurb references this item and its description

Roasted Turkey with Sides: Roast turkey previously made an appearance in the DA tabletop. Lady Sennova hosts a gala/party in Orlais, which players infiltrate/attend and at which food and drink is served. "The Game is about appearances as much as it is about outright treachery, so a dead rat discovered in the roast turkey could serve as a crueler twist of the knife than an actual twisting of the knife". The cookbook lore blurb references the comic Knight Errant, which involves Sebastian's birthday dinner party

Sera's Yummy Corn (from "The Whole Nug" in World of Thedas)

Dwarven Plum Jam: in DA:O a Diamond Quarter noble dwarf says something like "I will die without my favorite plum jam from the surface!" The cookbook lore blurb references the fact that in Orzammar, jam from the surface, especially jams made from plums, are in especially high demand and cost exorbitant prices

Rice Pudding: in DA:I Krem mentions a time when he, Iron Bull and the Chargers defended a village from fifty bandits. Afterwards the villagers paid them for their services in bags of rice. He says that they made rice pudding after that. The cookbook lore blurb references this story of Krem's

(new text block because the previous text block hit a character limit hh)

Antivan Apple Grenade: the cookbook lore blurb references Antivan Fire Grenades (two), which spread sticky fire. maybe it's my brain conjuring up sticky toffee/toffee apples, but I wanna say that this dish would not only be hot but also sticky :)

Found Cake

Varric's Favorite Cinnamon Rolls: in DAII Sandal says that Orana smells of cinnamon rolls, which was interesting to me as DAII is the game where Varric is introduced and his first (and greatest) batch of cinnamon roll friends, the Kirkwall Crew, are featured in

Croissants: Calix and Vaea eat something which arguably look like croissants in the comic Dragon Age: Deception, in an inn in Tevinter.

Cherry Cupcakes: the cookbook lore blurb says these are served by servants on stilts at the Tevinter theature. in the comic Dragon Age: Magekiller, Marius is depicted serving an array of treats and snacks to a Tevinter elite at the Tevinter theatre while on stilts. some of the cupcakes on his tray bear somewhat of a resemblance to the cupcakes in this recipe.

Sugar Cake

Pickled Lamprey: the cookbook lore blurb is referencing the book Last Flight, where Norbert de la Haine and his unfortunate fondness for pickled lampreys is mentioned.

Lichen Ale

The Hissing Drake. the cookbook lore blurb mentions the Gilded Horn

Hot Chocolate: Iron Bull discusses his penchant for this drink with Varric. "How do you guys live without this stuff?" he says. Varric replies "I don't see what the deal is, honestly, but different tastes..." / "Now I just need some hot milk and some of those Orlesian guimauves to put in it" / "Hey, what you do with this 'cocoa' is up to you. I don't need to hear about it"

Antivan Sip-Sip

Dragon Piss, two

Rivaini Tea Blend: In Masked Empire Celene drinks a Rivaini blend of tea containing cinnamon, ginger and cloves, sweetened with honey. the cookbook lore blurb references Celene drinking Rivaini Tea Blend throughout the day to combat headaches, but this tea blend consists of peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano and licorice root. Rivaini tea also crops up here.

The Golden Nug, two

The Emerald Valley

Chasind Sack Mead

Characters mentioned or alluded to in the cookbook

Devon (new character, writer and narrator of the book), Merrill, Alistair, Sera, Varric, Solas, Cassandra, Fenris, Cullen, Sten, Iron Bull, Bull's Chargers, Krem, Nan (possibly, if she is Devon's mother), Norah (possibly, as the waitress at The Hanged Man), Zevran, Morrigan, the Hero of Ferelden, the Inquisitor, Josephine, Paragon Varen, Leliana, Schmooples, the Hero of Ferelden's mabari, Sebastian, Cole, Vivienne, Dorian, Anders, Loghain, Bethany, Hawke, the Couslands, Bodahn Feddic (possibly, as the Sugar Cake item in DA:O is sold by him and Devon narrates that they purchased one from a surface dwarf merchant who said that the Hero of Ferelden purchased some for their companions), Norbert de la Haine, Isabela, Celene, Briala, Gaspard

"Cookbook canon" (notes about the particular worldstate/universe that Devon wrote the cookbook in)

The cookbook was written at some point after the appointment of Divine Victoria, placing it at at least one month after the DA:I base game concludes (at least one month after the defeat of Corypheus). The narrator, Devon, has met and spoken to at least some of the companions & related prominent NPCs, including Varric and Krem. Devon visited Haven.

The HoF was a Cousland. The HoF caught Schmooples for Leliana. Loghain survived DA:O and DA:I, as he's referred to in the present-tense at the time the cookbook is written. Alistair is King of Ferelden. The HoF may have been a lady who romanced Alistair (if you argue that the inclusion of Alistair's love letter to the Warden & the necklace from this merch item as a prop in the photo for Rivaini Couscous Salad as indicator. interesting that the photo where this item is prominently displayed is for the Couscous of all things. back in the day I remember folks calling Cousland "Couscous" hhh).

Hawke was a warrior or rogue and Carver died in the prologue. Hawke was probably Diplomatic. Hawke did not romance Sebastian (in the cookbook he is Prince, and Sebastian reclaims his title as Prince by DA:I unless romanced, in which case he's the Chantry advisor in Starkhaven).

The "worst of [Cullen's] lyrium withdrawals" are mentioned so it could be that the Inquisitor advised Cullen to stop taking lyrium. Cassandra Pentaghast is the Divine. Celene is the Empress of Orlais - possibly ruling "alone" or possibly in the Celene-Gaspard-Briala "work together option", going by "Given how messy Orlesian politics are wont to be, with chevalier cousins vying for the throne and elven handmaids turned both spymaster and lover".

Also, this might be just me and my assumptions or reading of it, but of the companion characters referenced in the book (see section above, Characters mentioned or alluded to in the cookbook), such as Cole, Sera, Merrill, Fenris etc, I feel like it's safe to assume that in this worldstate they were all recruited by the relevant PCs are alive and well (including the Chargers).

Merch items & similar that appear as props or edits in photos

Alistair romance bundle (necklace and letter in Rivaini Couscous Salad. the necklace appears again in Goat Custard. the box can be seen in The Golden Nug)

Grey Warden pendant that shows the griffon heraldry (not sure if this is from the Gear Store or somewhere like Etsy. Grey Warden Pastry Pockets). this reappears in Sugar Cake

Solas Jawbone Necklace (Pickled Eggs. hhhh. unlike in Eggs à la Val Foret the blurb here doesn't mention Solas, but he's repped here anyway by the necklace hanging in the background hh)

Cullen's Lucky Coin (The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew, Stuffed Vine Leaves, Antivan Sip-Sip)

In Nug Pancakes this red Inquisition banner with the handprint is in the background (seems to be from game files/in-game props). the red Inquisition banner appears again in Chasind Sack Mead

In Nug Bacon and Egg Pie, there is a nug in the background, presumably looking on in horror as their spouse has been transformed into a pie

In Turnip and Mutton Pie is a necklace that looks like the one Varric wears

Templar Banner (Roasted Turkey with Sides)

Inquisitor's iconic helmet replica (Roasted Turkey with Sides. hhh, this reminds me of the ones that are props in the queue area for the Dragon Age-not Dragon Age-ride)

In the background of Dalish Forest Fruit Cobbler a nug is peeking out

Antivan Apple Grenade contains a map of Westeros hhh. You can see the Three Sisters, the Neck and the Bite

A physical version of this Thedas map appears at various points e.g. Chasind Sack Mead

DA:I advisors coin set (Tevinter Pumpkin Bread) - for some reason Tumblr won't allow me to add the link to this one as an actual link, but you can find it here: gear.bioware.com/en-eu/products/dragon-age-three-advisors-coin-set

A green orb that I would guess is meant to be reminiscent of the ones Solas has you use during Measuring the Veil (Tevinter Pumpkin Bread)

Inquisition symbol pendant (not sure if this is from the Gear Store or somewhere like Etsy)

(You can get 20% off in the BioWare Gear Store until November 6th using my latest discount code BWCUISINE. After that date check back here for a new code. alternatively, you can use my >tracking link<.)

Some random thoughts

Shoutout to the photo for Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie. It looks a lot like the illustration in World of Thedas of this dish! you can see that they really took it into consideration when creating this dish/image.

I feel like you can also sense the inspiration in general vibe/feel in Dalish Forest Fruit Cobbler from Dalish Deep Forest Comfort in WoT.

The black and gold theme colors of the cover remind me of when DA:D branding was black and gold.

Recipe pages I have posted that you can view in full: Spiced Jerky, Dalish Forest Fruit Cobbler, Hearth Cakes, Merrill's Blood Soup, Lentil Soup, Peasant Bread, Dragon Piss

Recipe and other pages that were already available to view in full from the official preview pages: intro page, intro page 2, intro page 3, Contents page 1, Contents page 2, intro page 4, Devon's letter, intro page 5, Starters & Refreshments section intro page, Eggs à la Val Foret, Fried Young Giant Spiders, Fereldan Hearty Scones, Nug Pancakes, Roasted Turkey with Sides, Varric's Favorite Cinnamon Rolls, Nevarran Blood Orange Salad recipe (pic), Stuffed Deep Mushrooms recipe (pic), Rivaini Couscous Salad recipe (pic), Crab Cakes from Kirkwall recipe (pic), Fluffy Mackerel Pudding recipe (pic), Snail & Watercress Salad recipe (pic), Cave Beetles

Source of the above information: Dragon Age The Official Cookbook - Tastes of Thedas

If you’re not able to get the book, and there’s a recipe or two in the Contents that you’d like to see/read, let me know and I’ll show you (❁´◡`❁)

Link to Part 2, in text form (pls copy-paste) as Tumblr won't let me add it as a normal link: https://felassan.tumblr.com/post/732826339350102016/dragon-age-the-official-cookbook-tastes-of

A post you may also be interested in: Food and drink lore compilation from Dragon Age: The Last Court

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

#dragon age #bioware #video games #long post #longpost #ref stuff #apologies this post is a bit later than usual (;´Д`) this month has been real busy for me loads going on travelling etc #blood cw #alcohol cw #alistair theirin #fav warden #solas #cassandra pentaghast #my lady paladin #fenris #the fenaissance #morrigan #queen of my heart #Cole #spirit boy #lul #mj meta #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #btw does anyone know where goat custard and Ayesleigh gulabi goats appeared in the lore before the cookbook? #i cant find it and i'd really like to read it Q.Q

[owlwithanapple]

Your Hero

He is one of my favorite characters in mha. I want to write a future version of Bakugou Katsuki, I hope you guys will like it. 😘

Part 5.

( Bakugou Katsuki X Y/N )

8:am——

The alarm clock rings, you get up stretch your waist and look out of the window. You get out of bed and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face to refresh your mind. Go to the kitchen to get bacon and eggs to make yourself breakfast and then make a cup of coffee.

You turn on the TV and it just broadcasts yesterday's news. You sit on the sofa and have breakfast while watching the news. The news reported that there were no casualties, which was the best result.

Looking at the news, there is a picture of you and Dynamight fighting against Villains. As Dynamight said yesterday, you are all making up for each other's shortcomings.

You look at the picture of Dynamight's battle, he successfully blocked Villain's escape route with speed and strength. His on-the-spot reaction is too fast for you to keep up.

He's right. You are an inexperienced professional hero. You have strength and wisdom, but you can't control it as confidently as he does. His appearance can just guide you to grow into an independent hero.

There is a new message on your phone. You click in to see the message of Sun Eater.

"Good morning, Wind. Do you want to visit Fatgum's office in the morning?" Sun Eater sent a message.

"No problem, see ya!" You reply.

"🐙👌🏻..." Sun Eater replied.

——End of the chat——

"Sun Eater always uses strange memes." You say.

When you go to the room open the wardrobe take out the hero's suit put it in the backpack and leave the house. You put on your glasses and a mask and walk into the elevator. After you leave the apartment, turn on your phone to search for the location of Fatgum Hero Agency.

On the way, you saw a donut shop and thought about it before walking in. You bought a box of donuts for Fatgum to express your gratitude. When you arrive at your destination, look at the place with the word Fatgum at the door.

"What are you doing standing at the door?" Said a familiar voice.

"Eh? Red Riot!?" You saw Red Riot (Kirishima Eijiro) standing next to you.

"Isn't this Wind Breaker!" Red Riot said excitedly.

Kirishima Eijiro, Sturdy Hero: Red Riot. He is a friend of Top 1 hero Dynamight. A hero who graduated from the same U.A. Currently, he is a hero under Fatgum Agency.

"Yo! Are you coming to visit the office?" Red Riot asked.

"Yes, Sun Eater invited me to visit, please take care of me today." You bowed to express your gratitude.

"Don't bow! Don't be polite to me. If you don't understand anything, we can learn together!" He said with a smile.

"Thank you." You replied politely.

He is Dynamight's classmate and close friend. You wonder how such a cheerful person could become friends with that arrogant guy. I heard that Dynamight had a worse temper when he was a student than he does now.

Red Riot opens the door and lets you go to Fatgum Agency first. You look around at the interior of the office and notice a large chair that is the Fatgum seat.

"Excuse me, where is the locker room? I need to change into my hero costume." You asked.

"In the back. Do you want some tea?" Red Riot asked enthusiastically.

"Okay. Thank you." You said.

You walked into the locker room, opened your backpack and took out your hero outfit. Hatsume is responsible for making hero outfits. She will customize exclusive equipment according to your Quirks. Her style is really great but sometimes over the top.

You're often floating in the air, so she added elf-themed materials to your hero suit. It features a white suit with a pair of elf wings that fade into light blue on the back.

"So cool, but a bit exaggerated." You said looking in the mirror.

You left the locker room and saw that Red Riot had made tea and was sitting on a chair reading the report. You sat directly opposite him with a cup of tea, and his eyes widened when he noticed your hero outfit.

"Elf-themed hero outfit! So beautiful!" Red Riot praises you.

"Thank you, I also wanted to say it was too exaggerated and wanted to change it." You said.

You heard the door open and saw Fatgum and Sun Eater coming in at the same time, with takoyaki in their hands. Fatgum greets you warmly when he sees you.

"Haha! Wind Breaker! What a cute elf!" Fatgum praises you.

"Thank you for your compliment and invitation." You bowed.

"Haha...Wind...your new hero looks so cool." Sun Eater said.

"It's exaggerated, right? I'll take it to Hatsume to change it sometime." You said.

"I think it's very good. It fits your Quirks. You often fly in the air, and everyone will feel dreamy when they see you." Fatgum said.

"Really? Oh, by the way! I brought you donuts, I hope you like them. And thank you for inviting me to visit." You said with a smile.

"Really? Thank you so much! What a good girl!" Fatgum said happily.

“So….cute…..smile…so dazzling” said Sun Eater.

"It's so bright!" Red Riot said, covering his eyes.

"Let's take a group photo to welcome Wind Breaker to our office!" Fatgum suggested.

"Okay!" you said to Red Riot.

"I... go to the corner." Sun Eater said.

"No! Come here!" Red Riot grabbed Sun Eater.

Fatgum raised his phone to adjust the angle, and you both leaned together to strike a pose.

"3, 2, 1. cheese~" Fatgum said.

"Cheese~" the three of you said with a smile.

"Ka chak!" the sound of taking pictures.

This is your first time taking a photo with your colleagues from Fatgum Agency. Fatgum sent photos to you, Sun Eater and Red Riot. Save the photo as soon as you receive it.

"I'm going to send it to Deku to make him envious that his idol is in our agency." Red Riot said with a smile.

Red Riot clicks to open the chat room——

Group name: Heroes🔥

The group includes Dynamight💥 (Bakugou Katsuki), Deku🥦 (Midoriya Izuku), Shoto🧊 (Todoroki Shoto), Chargebolt⚡️ (Kaminari Denki) and includes Red Riot 🪨.

🪨: Everyone! Guess who came to Fatgum Office?

💥: Who? Dumb Hair.

🥦: Is it All Might? !

🧊: It’s a puzzle…

⚡️: Beauty?

🪨: You really can’t guess….

💥: Who the fuck is it! I'm very busy, tell me quickly!

🧊: Calm down, Bakugou...

💥: Shut up!

🥦: Stop arguing...

⚡️: So lively hahaha

🪨： 【 * pic. jpg * 】

⚡️: Elf-themed hero outfit! so cute!

🥦: It’s Wind Breaker!

🧊: It turns out she went to Fatgum’s office...

💥: WTF!

🪨: Envy it, go to work first! Bye-Bye!

——Chat ends——

Dynamight Hero Agency——

He clicked on the photo and zoomed in to see your face, you were wearing an elf-themed hero outfit. This was the first time he saw you officially put on your own hero uniform. He saved the photo and looked at it carefully.

"Fuck... so cute..." Dynamight said.

"Kacchan! Should I consider sending an invitation letter to Wind Breaker as well?" Deku asked as he walked into the office.

"Make an appointment for me in advance!" Dynamight shouted.

"Sorry! Kacchan! I'm leaving first!" Deku panicked.

"Hey! Deku!" Dynamight called to Deku.

"What's wrong?" Deku turned around and asked.

"Will you send her an invitation letter?" Dynamight asked.

"She is a good talent to consider." Deku said.

"Tchhh...get out of here, I'm busy." Dynamight said.

"Kacchan will you send her an invitation letter?" Deku asked curiously.

"You talk a lot, Damn Nerd. Get out of my office before I come back!" Dynamight flew out of the window.

Fatgum Hero Agency——

"Then let's start with a basic patrol and let Wind Breaker see how we do things." Fatgum suggested.

"Okay..." Sun Eater said.

"Let's go!" Red Riot said, raising his hands.

"Please give me some advice." You said with a smile.

On the street——

You float in the air and patrol with Fatgum and the others, and Fatgum explains their daily work. You realize that although the three Quirks are opposites, they can coordinate with each other.

"Wind Breaker has very convenient Quirks and can float in the air." Red Riot said.

"Red Riot's Quirks are also very strong and can harden the skin. If I didn't have the blessing of the wind, I might have been cut many times." You said.

"But Wind Breaker, why didn't you continue to develop in the United States?" Fatgum asked.

"Actually, I'm still a little confused..." you said.

"Take your time... don't be in a hurry... you can slowly find your direction." Sun Eater comforted.

"Thanks, Sun Eater." You smile.

You look up in the air and see a white van parked on the side of the road,and mirror still completely black. A woman got out of the car from the back seat and walked into the convenience store with a panicked look on her face.

You sense something is wrong and drop to the ground so as not to attract attention. You approach Fatgum and explain the situation, and Fatgum sends you to observe the woman's condition. While Red Riot, Fatgum and Sun Eater watch from the outside.

You took a detour into a convenience store and saw the woman at the cash machine. You made sure that the two of you were out of sight of the van, and stood behind the woman to talk.

"What happened?" you ask.

"I..." The woman hesitated.

"The withdrawal amount is not small. Is there anyone in the car?" you ask.

"My son is inside...Villain kidnapped us and demanded a sum of money." she said in a panic.

"How many people?" you asked.

"Fire Quirk of Villain and my son... Please save my boy, hero..." She asks you for help.

"Stay here and don't move." You leave the convenience store.

You floated to the roof of the white van, and Villain opened the door to take a look. Villain saw that you were about to drive away, and you controlled the wind to lift the car in the air.

"Hey! Hero! Believe it or not, I'm going to burn this child to death!" He threatened you by lighting fire in his palm and pointing it at the child.

You hesitate when you see your child's life being threatened, but if you hesitate, the child's life will be in danger. Think about it carefully, Wind Breaker! Now is not the time to hesitate.

"Put away your unconfident expression. Your on-the-spot reaction is very good." Dynamight's words emerged.

Expression….On-the-spot reaction…..

You lower the van, and you release a whirlwind that surrounds you and the vehicle. Villain got out of the car with the child in his arms, the fire still burning in his palms.

"Quickly lift the wind and I will put the child down!" Villain shouted.

"Sorry, I refuse, Villain!" you shouted.

If Dynamight were there, he would be able to figure out what to do right away. But now you are a hero! Now you are in control!

You take a deep breath and blow it out like a hurricane at the target. Villain throws the child to the ground in defense. Sun Eater rushes to your side and turns his fingers into octopus tentacles to pull the child over.

Red Riot circled Villain, hardened himself and hit Villain hard. Red Riot's punch caused Villain to collapse and he was tied up and handed over to the police.

Fatgum arrived at the scene with the woman. When the child saw it, he ran to hug his mother. You felt relieved when you saw this scene. After the police arrived at the scene, they put the tied Villain into the transport truck and then took a statement from the woman.

Fast Food Restaurant--

After you left the scene, you went to a fast food restaurant for lunch. Fatgum ordered five set meals, and each of you was given a set. Fatgum had two set meals per person.

"Well done! Wind Breaker!" Fatgum praised you.

"How cool you are! You can actually use the wind to lift the car!" Red Riot said excitedly.

"You saw the right moment when I would arrive...and then attacked Villain, right..." Sun Eater asked.

"Oops, got caught. Red Riot thanks for covering up." You said.

"I told you you're welcome!" Red Riot said with a smile.

"Wind Breaker's attack range is quite large." Fatgum ate a burger.

"Yes, that's why I need to open the protective layer to avoid harm from the outside world." You answered.

"Good judgment and on-the-spot reaction ability..." Sun Eater said.

"Sun Eater once told me about you. Maybe you are capable but lack experience, so you are confused." Fatgum said.

“So it’s all about gaining experience through actual combat!” Red Riot said.

As Fatgum and others say, the reason why you are confused is your lack of experience. As Red Riot said, gain experience through actual combat.

"Whose office will you go to later?" Red Riot asked.

"Hawks's, he will pick me up later." You said.

"Hmmm, I don't know what he will arrange for you?" Fatgum was curious.

"I don't know, but I interned with him for a week when I was at U.A.," you said.

"Come on! Wind Breaker! Looking forward to your future performance!" Red Riot encourages you.

"I support you..." Sun Eater said.

"You can come to me anytime you want to eat delicious food!" Fatgum said with a smile.

"Thank you for letting me gain experience." You eat the burger.

Received new news from Hawks——

🦅: Hi~Old friend, is it convenient now?

🌪️: Eating with Fatgum🍔~

🦅: Come to me after eating *Hawks shares location*

🌪️:👌🏻, do you want me to bring you something to eat?

🦅: Just French fries😎

🌪️：👌🏻

——Chat ends——

After eating, you say goodbye to Fatgum, Red Riot, and Sun Eater. You take out a side of fries and go find Hawks. You left the fast food restaurant and walked down the street.

You see a large poster hanging outside a high-rise building, which is a close-up of a certain brand of watch endorsed by Dynamight. You stare at it, you will see that it is a simple pose but the result is a bit cool and flattering.

You raise your phone to take a selfie of the poster and send it to him.

—— Dynamight Chat Room ——

"[ *pic.jpg* ]" You send the photo.

"Wth..." he replied.

"🫣This model looks like you." You replied.

"That's me! What are you doing there!" he replied.

"Selfies...bye." You reply.

"Hey!" he replied before saving the photo.

——Chat ends——

When you arrive at the location specified by Hawks, you knock on the door and walk in. You see a famous stylist styling Hawks. After Hawks saw you, he waved to you to come over.

"Haha, handsome guy." You handed Hawks the fries.

"Hi~ Beauty, thank you for the fries. The new hero looks so cute and has wings." Hawks said.

"Thank you for the compliment, so my job today is to deliver French fries?" you asked.

"I was asked to do a promotional photo shoot for the product," Hawks explains.

"So?" you asked curiously.

"You can also come and shoot together." Hawks said.

"Wait, Hawks is too sudden." You said.

"Don't worry, the stylist and I are here. You can rest assured, I will teach you what to do." Hawks said.

Keigo Takami, Wing Hero: Hawks. You once interned in his agency and became good friends with similar interests and hobbies.

Hawks, as usual, makes you confused as to what he is thinking, and suddenly brings you to the studio to take promotional photos. You ask the stylist and learn that the product to be photographed is a suit.

The theme is calm and elegant, so the stylist prepares several outfits for you to match. After you get dressed, you sit at the dressing table and the stylist puts on makeup that matches the theme.

After Hawks put on his makeup, he stood next to you and watched. He picked up his phone and took a photo of you before sending it to you. You look in the mirror, and sure enough, your whole face feels different after putting on makeup.

"How is it? It feels like a new look." Hawks looked at you and asked.

"Is it weird?" you asked.

"No, pretty people are suitable for anything, don't worry." Hawks comforted.

"Is this a compliment to me?" you asked.

"Hehehe, that's right. I just took some photos of you and sent them to you. You can upload them to your social media." Hawks said.

"You are really good at handling social media..." you said.

"Heroes don't just save people, we are also public figures. Once a product is produced, sponsors will rely on our reputation to promote the product. If you do a good job in social media, sponsors will know you have that ability. By inviting you, you will also get extra benefits." Hawks explained.

"I see..." You understand.

"I'll teach you how to do it. Lend me your phone." Hawks sat next to you.

Hawks teaches you step by step how to handle social media. He saved the photo just now and clicked on social media. Choose the photo, write the title, and tag the brand company.

"Tagging a brand company is about letting them see you. If they are satisfied with your work, you can secure the endorsement of the brand," Hawks explains.

"I see." You said.

"You haven't done product endorsement work yet, so start with basic photography first," Hawks explained.

"Understood." You listen carefully.

"By the way! This is our first time shooting together, let's take a group photo and upload it to social media! You can take advantage of my fame." Hawks said with a smile.

"Eh?" You are confused.

Hawks called a photographer to take a simple photo of you. Hawks chose a photo and uploaded it to social media with the title "First collaboration with an old friend."

"The title is so random." You said.

"Actually, I have no idea...hahahaha." Hawks said with a smile.

"Hawks. Wind Breaker. Shooting starts in five minutes," the photographer said.

"OK." You both replied.

Hawks shared some fries with you, and you chatted for a while before starting to shoot.

Since this is your first time taking photos, the photographer takes you and Hawks to a good position. Hawks and the photographer will teach you a few simple poses and how to look at the camera.

The photographer asks you to put your hand on Hawks' shoulder and look face to face with Hawks. The two of you couldn't help laughing immediately. The photographer paused the shooting after seeing it.

"No, I want to laugh when I see your face!" You said with a smile.

"Me too! Hahahaha!" Hawks laughed.

"Huh~ Hawks, please bear with it." You said, clenching your fists.

"I'll try my best." Hawks fist bumped.

The photographer first asked to take a close-up shot of you alone, with Hawks standing next to the camera and looking at you. The photographer helps you adjust the angle so that you look into the camera and start shooting.

After taking your shot, the photographer asks Hawks to prepare to trade places with you. You stand next to Hawks and look at the effect of the shot.

"Very good! Beautiful!" the photographer praised.

"Not bad, good at capturing shots." Hawks said.

"Thanks~" you said.

"Hawks it's your turn." the photographer said.

"Okay, look at me and learn from me." Hawks put on his coat.

"I know." You said.

You watched Hawks intently while filming. He doesn't need a photographer's guidance to pose and start shooting. You had worked as an intern at his agency, but this was your first time shooting with him.

After taking the close-up shot of Hawks alone, it's your turn to take the photo together.

"Hawks, promise me you'll endure it." You said with a smile.

"I'll try my best." Hawks laughed.

The two of you adjusted your mentality and told the photographer that you were ready. The two of you stood in the studio, posing for the photo shoot. You put your hand on Hawks' shoulder and the two of you looked directly at each other.

"In my eyes, you are the most beautiful." Hawks whispered.

"You are handsome too." You said.

"You two, stop flirting, I'm going to start shooting." The photographer said with a smile.

Although there is an age difference between you two, you are very good friends in private. You two always have common topics and sometimes fight with each other. It feels amazing to work with friends who haven't seen each other for a long time.

As expected, the two of you are in good condition and cooperate with each other very well. In a blink of an eye, it’s already evening time, and you finally finished taking a close-up photo of the two of you.

"Nice! Very good!" the photographer shouted.

"Huh thanks." You said.

"You're welcome, we should look out for each other," Hawks said.

"I will process and back up the photos before sending them to you." the photographer said.

"Okay, thank you." You said.

"Y/N, do you want to have dinner together?" Hawks asked.

"Okay, I happen to be hungry." You said.

"Then I'll make a reservation first." Hawks contacted the restaurant to reserve a table.

You took off your makeup, changed into casual clothes, and put your hero outfit into your backpack. You put on a mask, glasses and a hat to keep a low profile in order to be unattractive. You leave the locker room and wait for Hawks.

After Hawks changed his clothes, you followed him and left the studio. He drove you to a Western restaurant for dinner, and he said there was a live band there.

Western restaurant——

After Hawks parked the car, he got out of the car and opened the door for you to show his gentlemanly behavior. After you got out of the car, he closed the door and looked at you with a smile.

"Wow, gentleman Hawks." You said with a smile.

"Just Keigo, we're not working right now." Hawks said.

"Okay, Keigo." You smiled at him.

"Nice call, Y/N." Hawks said with a smile.

You both walked into the restaurant together and the waiter led you to your seats and handed you menus. After you and Hawks took your seats, you started chatting. You didn't notice that Dynamight, Deku and Shoto were also having dinner in the same restaurant, and their seats were not far from you.

"Kacchan, look! It's Wind Breaker and Hawks." Deku said.

"Huh?!" Dynamight looked at you and Hawks.

"Speaking of which, the two of them were shooting together today." Shoto said.

"Shooting?" Dynamight asked.

Shoto turned on his phone and clicked on Hawks' social media. Dynamight saw a photo of you and Hawks, and the title said old friends. He felt inexplicably unhappy and jealous seeing you and Hawks.

"Want to say hello?" Shoto asked.

"No!" Dynamight yelled.

"Kacchan is so weird..." Deku said.

"Y/N, let's take a selfie. I don't even have time to look for you after you return." Hawks picked up the phone.

"Okay." You said with a smile.

Hawks asked the waiter to take a photo of you two. Hawks stood next to you and put his arm around your shoulders, and you leaned against him and smiled at the camera. After taking the photo, the waiter returned the phone to Hawks. Hawks took the phone and showed you the photo he just took.

"They have a good relationship." Deku said.

"Wind Breaker once interned at Hawks' office, and I heard they are good friends," Shoto said.

"Fuck..." Dynamight took a sip of water unhappily.

The waiter brought the water to you first, and Hawks took it and handed it to you. He was always very gentlemanly to you, even though he looked like a playboy.

"How was it? How do you feel after returning to Japan?" Hawks asked.

"I'm not used to it yet, it still takes some time. What about you? We haven't seen each other for so long. How are you doing?" You asked Hawks.

"I'm busy as usual, and occasionally I have a drink with Endeavor when I have time," Hawks said.

"Hey, Keigo. I'm an adult, do you want to come have a few drinks with me?" You asked.

"Y/N, you know I'm here to accompany you." Hawks smiled.

Hawks raised his hand and asked the waiter to order a bottle of wine. The waiter placed the wine and two wine glasses on the table, and Hawks poured the wine into the glasses and handed it to you.

"Y/N, welcome back. Cheers." Hawks raised his glass.

"I'm back~Keigo." You toast.

The smell of wine is so strong that you are not used to it. It is not the style you often drink. Hawks noticed that you were not used to drinking, so he walked to the bar and asked for a glass of water. Before returning to his seat, Hawks saw Top 3 eating.

"Hi, Top 3. What a coincidence that you are also dining here." Hawks greeted.

"Yo, Hawks." Shoto greeted.

"Yeah, what a coincidence, Hawks." Deku said.

Dynamight glared at Hawks with a fierce look, and Shoto and Deku felt bad.

"What's wrong, No.1? You're staring at me with such a fierce look." Hawks asked.

"By the way, Bakugou, you've been eating dinner with a fierce look in your eyes since just now. What's wrong?" Shoto asked.

"I'm curious too." Hawks was curious.

"Kacchan?" Deku panicked.

"Keigo, what are you doing?" You touched Hawks' shoulder.

"Sorry, I went to get a glass of water and I bumped into Top 3," Hawks said.

"Keigo?" Dynamight whispered.

"Hey! What a coincidence that you are also having dinner here." You said excitedly.

"Y/N, you're not used to the wine you just drank. Take this glass of water." Hawks handed you the water.

"Thanks, Keigo~" you said with a smile.

"The relationship between the two of you is very good." Deku said.

"Yes, Y/N once came to my office for an internship. It turned out that our interests and hobbies were very compatible, and we became good friends without knowing it." Hawks said.

"I remembered that Hawks once brought Wind Breaker to my house." Shoto said.

"That's right! I'm glad you still remember it! Natsu invited me to have dinner together at that time, and Y/N happened to have nothing to do, so I took her there." Hawks said.

"I obviously had homework to do at the time, but you forced me to go. You also said that meeting Endeavor was the reason to induce me to go!" You patted Hawks on the shoulder.

"I remember you saw Endeavor freeze in place and was touched on the head by Endeavor." Hawks laughed.

"Keigo, shut up!" You patted his shoulder wildly.

"Opps...someone's shy," Hawks said.

"It turns out Todoroki has known Wind Breaker for a long time." Deku asked.

"It's very impressive. When she saw my father..." Shoto was about to blurt out.

"Shoto...please don't mention it." You looked at him seriously.

"Oh...ok." Shoto was surprised.

"But there is something I care about. No.1's eyes seem to be directed at me." Hawks looked at Dynamight.

"Spoonbill..." Dynamight glared at Hawks.

"So No. 1 Dynamight has something to say to me?" Hawks asked.

"I have an ominous feeling." Shoto and Deku said.

"I had that hunch too." You said.

"Go back and eat your dinner." Dynamight said.

"Kacchan!" Deku said.

"Shut up, Damn Nerd!" Dynamight shouted.

Hawks seemed to notice as he stared at your face. You didn't notice Hawks staring at you because you were chatting with Shoto and Deku.

"Keigo, dinner is here. Go back to your seat." You go back to your seat.

"Are you jealous?" Hawks asked quietly.

"Shut your mouth... or I'll turn you into a roast chicken!" Dynamight said.

"Hahahaha, terrible. I won't disturb your meal, bye." Hawks returned to his seat.

"That dead eagle..." Dynamight looked at you.

You looked at Hawks with a blank expression, not understanding what Hawks was saying to Dynamight. But it was obvious that as soon as he finished speaking, Dynamight glared at you with a very angry expression.

You have an ominous premonition...

Part 5 end.

*If you have any ideas, you can leave them in the comment section, and I will try to add in the story.*

#mha x you #mha x reader #mha x y/n #my hero acedamia #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero fanfic #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia fanfiction #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #mha bakugou #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha fanfiction #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha #mha bakugo katsuki #bakugo katuski #mha todoroki #mha hawks #mha midoriya #hawks mha #mha keigo takami

[sol-rambles]

Lil mapicc doodle cause I haven't posted lifesteal things in awhile.

Explanation via written on picture and image IDs under cut.

[START ID Image 1: Pencil drawing of Mapicc, he has two straight horns ontop of his head, hair to his shoulders, a hoodie with one patch with only the letter R poorly stitched onto it, the strings on the hoodie are striped. He has heavy eyeliner covering his whole eye lid and a small heart under his left eye. He also has elf-ish like ears pointing straight out, covered in earrings, we can only see one ear.]

[Image 2: Same as image 1 with red writing wrote onto it, describing reasonings for certain details.]

[Text in image 2: Arrow pointing to left horn: horn gets worse a little worse if he exploits. Arrow pointing to right horn: Rings around horn, safe keeping of Zam and Bacon

Arrow pointing to a bacon hair clip on left of hair: lil Bacon hair piece. Arrow pointing to some earrings on top of left ear, only visible ear in picture: More earrings. Arrow pointing to an earring with a large gem with a sparkle on it hanging from bottom of ear: Zam's crown gem.

Arrow pointing to right eyelid covered with eyeliner (though both are): I just thought it looked neat. Arrow pointing to a small heart under left eye: Thought it looked cool.

Arrow pointing to left hoodie arm, with a R patch on it: R patch (for Ro). Arrow pointing to the right striped drawstring on the hoodie, both are the same: Byproduct of not being able to stop detailing. END ID]

#solglas speaks #solglas art #lifesteal smp #mapicc