#batman’s ‘I told you so’

[superbat-love]

Superman whisking Batman away to safety

And then getting lectured by Batman after he was rescued by Wonder Woman

#old married couple #batman’s ‘I told you so’ #look at superman sulking #superbat #superwonderbat #dc trinity #dc #dc comics #official #superman x batman #batman x superman #superman/batman #batman/superman #superman #batman #clark kent #bruce wayne #wonder woman #justice league

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner? #and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section' #danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's) #so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.' #tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!' #dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again' #tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints? #tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills? #how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!' #damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager) #on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!! #uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

[ktkat99]

Do you think Tim holds things over his brothers' heads whenever he wants something?

Dick- Aw, there's only one piece of pizza left

Tim- Mine

Dick- Or, we could split it

Tim- Or, it's mine

Dick- You know, sharing is caring, Tim

Tim- You know what else is caring?

Dick- Hm?

Tim- Not gaslighting your sibling into thinking he's insane

Dick- ...

Tim- Not taking Robin from him

Dick- O-okay

Tim- Trusting that he's been right about enough things in the past that maybe, just maybe, he's right about your father being alive-,

Dick- You can have the pizza, dude. Jeez

Yyyyy

Jason, seeing Tim laying across the entire sofa he wanted to read on- You can either move or be sat on, little man

Tim, not even looking up- Today is not the day. I fucking dare you to try me

Jason- Tim, move. I am bigger than you. I am stronger than you. I will crush you

Tim- Bigger, maybe.

Jason- Tim-,

Tim, locking eyes with Jason- How long did you last with Joker? Half hour?

Jason- Excuse me?

Tim, holding up three fingers- I dealt with Joker AND Harley. For three WEEKS. And survived

Jason- o.o???

Tim, getting cozy again- Get on my level, bitch

Yyyyy

Damian- You're delusional if you think you can beat me, Drake. I was trained by the best of the best!

Tim- The best of the best?

Damian- That's right!

Tim- When's the last time you checked on those 'best of the best' teachers of yours?

Damian- What are you talking about?

Tim- I'm talking about the fact that you might have been trained by them

Tim, leaning down to Damian's level- But I took them out

Damian- Wh-what??

Tim- Still want to spar?

#batman #tim drake #dick grayson #nightwing #red robin #jason todd #red hood #batfam #robin #damian wayne #he doesn't actually harbor grudges against his brothers #but he wont hold back of given the opportunity #the sibling need to say 'i told you so' is too strong sometimes

[renecdote]

do you think Bruce ever lies awake at night thinking about all the things he has taught his kids and how it seemed like a good idea at the time but maybe some of those habits are actually more bad than good

#Dick Grayson #Bruce Wayne #Batman #DC #how many times has alfred told bruce to step back from a case? #to sleep? to eat? to take one moment away from an obsession so it doesn't drag him fully down? #and yeah the thing dick can't leave alone here is looking out for bruce #but it's also the case. the cape. the need to Fix things #dick is all but saying 'I love you' here #but I'm sure bruce is just hearing the echoes of his own obsession in the kids he raised into vigilantism #and I bet it haunts him that he has made them even a little bit like himself #having many feelings about them......

[freefallintothevoid]

The real reason everyone makes fun of Dicks Discowing outfit is because he's the only one that can somehow pull it off

Every superhero and vigilante has has a costume like that at some point, something daring or a bit ridiculous that in hindsight that they just couldn't make work for whatever reason. Nightwing? The pretty motherfucker not only made it work, he slayed in that outfit. It looks ridiculous by itself on display in the batcave but not when Nightwing puts it on

The only reason Dick doesn't know this is because all his siblings have collectively gaslit him into thinking that it's his worst costume to date.

#if you just look at the discowing comic era youll see what i mean #disowing PULLED #jason tried the costume once and looked so absurd hes never told anyone about it #it doesnt matter if Dick is a fashion icon or not he can make wearing trashbags look pretty #batfamily #nightwing #dc comics #headcanon #bruce goes along with it because too much exposed chest for vigilanting #that v line collar thing was really something #nightwing is canonically freaking gorgeous #batman #discowing #dick grayson #redhood

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny as Fenton takes a hit that no human boy should survive while in a different city (im going crossover here) and just transforms into phantom and pretends to be all sad that he died. Just for a moment. He then proceeds to kick the baddies ass. Claims he got ghost powers and fucks off. Imagine if Captain America or Batman saw this while failing ti protect him, hell or any hero type. Danny doesn’t think much on it and just goes on with his week. Continues being Fenton of course but what if he runs into whatever hero, but out if costume, saw him do that.

“How are you here? And alive?”

Danny holding a smoothie:”uhhhh I made a miraculous recovery”

He just shrugs it off and goes about his day. It isn’t until he finally gets some sleep later that night that he wakes up in a cold sweat realising he now knows their secret identity. “Oh well it’s neat I guess” starts to go back to sleep only to bolt back up “oh god now they know my secret identity”

Meanwhile said hero is too busy trying to figure out how to help this random kid to even be worried about the fact that they outed themselves. Someone else probably points it out to them and has to explain it twice before it gets thru.

#danny phantom #crossovers #dp x mcu #dpxdc #dp x dc #I like to use batman a lot cause his need to protect these kids probably makes him a little stupid #like imagine him in the batcave looking into fenton now and nightwing comes in starts asking about it #only to have to find out that bruce basically told the kid hes batman #except bruce is tired and worried so he isnt getting it #no B I mean like how does bruce wayne know the kid died. only batman saw it #if you are trying to make some sort of joke it’s not working. now please excuse me I have to figure this out #a sigh and facepalm #B imagine what the kid is gonna think when bruce wayne asks him how he is alive but batman watched him die. #slowly bruce stops typing and leans back from the computer #he freezes #eyes widening #a soft but sharp intake #oh #yea oh B geeze you must be tired if it took this long for you to get ut #bruce with his head in his hands realising he just messed up big time #maybe he should get more sleep after all #as for the mcu I would like to think it was hawkeye or hulk #I like hulk cause it’s also a bruce but I like hawkeye more. guy is very comfort character #clint just kid I saw you die now why don’t you explain that #danny giving him nothing till clints like come on it’s kinda messed up letting me think I let a kid die isnt it. #oh poor me loosing so much sleep watching a young boy become a ghost. I could hardly go on #danny rolls his eyes laying it on a little thick arent we old man #gasp! I will have you know I am only (insert haskeyes age here) #geeze you are waaayyy okder than I thought

[bitter-hibiscus]

Kyle forgot to charge his ring..

[inspired by this! idea from @jasontoddsgaythoughts LOL]

#I TOLD YOU I'D DO IT AT SOME POINT LMAO #theyre so stupid.. #jaykyle #kyle rayner #jason todd #green lantern #red hood #batman #dc comics #fanart #digital art #art #my art

[sacersanguis]

Jason: You decided to ask relationship advice from BRUCE?!

Tim: I WAS PANICKING OKAY JASON LISTEN---

Jason: THE ONE GUY WHO'S NEVER BEEN IN A STABLE RELATIONSHIP? THE GUY WHO HAD A BABY WITH FREAKING TALIA AL GHUL? THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF COMMITMENT ISSUES AND BAD COMMUNICATION? YOU ASKED HIM FOR RELATIONSHIP---

Tim: YES ON HINDSIGHT I CAN SEE I MADE A BAD DECISION OKAY I WAS PANICKING ALRIGHT BERNARD THINKS I'M GONNA BREAK-UP WITH HIM AND NOW HE WANTS TO "TALK" I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO I JUST---

Jason: PHONED ME?! FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE?!!-

#tim maybe a genius vigilante but my brother he is terrible dealing relationship emergencies if you may call it so #calling jason aint wise either and jason himself will tell you that #bernard doesn't #like being dumped so he decided to dump tim first no matter how much he didn't want to #yeah i know this steph told me #tim drake #jason todd #red robin #red hood #robin ii #robin iii #robin #batman #batman incorrect quotes #batfamily #batfam #incorrect batfam #batfamily incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #kay and her bs rambles~

[psalmsofpsychosis]

not gonna lie homos and homies, there's something incredibly, incredibly depressing about Batmanverse and the concept of Batjokes in particular, and it's not the murder murder stab stab death plots.

It's the collective unmentioned canon agreement around these characters never being able to escape the confinements of their narrative.

they get pushed to the very edges of their predefined thresholds, they toe the lines of their stories, they poke it and probe it and sometimes even flirt with the possibility of crossing the bounds of their narratives, but they never break throught the structure. they never go over the line, always sorta of wiggling in place; batjokes in particular is the most enticing and intriguing stagnant 85+ years story i have ever seen.

There are unspoken rules around who Batman is, what he will and will not do, and those rules are rarely questioned, if ever. No matter what he does, he cannot be in love with a man, and he cannot ever love Joker in particular. He cannot experience mental and emotional peace. he cannot kill and he cannot show sincere emotional vulnurability, he cannot experience his love in an open and unashamed way. His narrative thresholds confine him to a socially sanctioned image that is meant to be familiar and tangible to the average straight dude, and it's quite frankly exhausting to witness. Whatever happens to Batman's story, he never arrives at physical emotional or mental peace and on a foundational level his tale never changes, not really. You can almost feel it when he constantly bumps into this unspoken narrative rules and stops in his tracks, each and every goddamn time, for 85+ years. It's like a keyed up nutcracker toy soldier bumping into a wall, stumble back two steps, bump into the walls, stumble back two steps, bumpt into the wall,

As someone who loves stories that love to question their own narrative points and break through them and do something different, staring at Batmanverse comics for too long at a time lowkey feels heartbreaking, nothing ever truly changes in this bitch.

#i guess what i'm saying is; there a tree in this garden and every season it sheds its leaves and the leaves change color etc etc etc #and when i talk about getting bored of tales told of this tree peeps are like ''but look at all the colors in the leaves! it even sheds the #what more variety would you want?!'' #and i'm like. you know there's more to a tree than its fucking leaves right. RIGHT. #you know a tree changed in its entire trunk and branches and root reach and the way it communicates with other trees RIGHT #like. a tree naturally undergoes so many subtly substantial changes during the seasons #and i'm tired of being given colorful leaves and being told that i should be satisfied with the supposed artstyle and plot trinket variety #in Batman stories. #this shit is substantially stagnant *YEET* #jokes aside though; this is why i can only consume a little bit of Batman media at a time before i get bored out of my mind. #every other story is the same thing. #Batman #Batman meta #Batjokes #Batjokes meta

[dizzyspice717]

Imagine you’re Bruce Wayne, you’re parents are killed in a regular mugging so you decide to devote your life to catching those criminals so no one goes through what you go through

AND THEN THE JOKER AND A BUNCH OF FUCKING OTHER PEOPLE INCLUDING SOME FRIENDS BECOME SUPER VILLAINS

so instead of spending your time catching small time thugs and corporate scams, you gotta deal with a clown serial killer and the rest of the circus.

Id be so pissed

#like #i imagine #sometimes #when he’s tired #he just #“I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT #all I wanted to do was help civilians and avenge my parents in my own way #what is this #fuckin kooky ass bitch and his Gucci gang #this is why he doesn’t get a his damned rest #Batman #batfam #i don’t know what to tag this #my thoughts #bruce wayne #Alfred: #i told you so #I told you not to do this #do you listen? #no #alfred pennyworth #dc joker

[firenati0n]

each time we touch / i wanna take too much by firenati0n on ao3

M | 1.3k

tags: college au, roommate au, first kiss, finger sucking, pining, friends to lovers

a bit of a departure from the usual silly goose vibes around here...my fingers slipped and now you get a hazy alex putting his fingers in henry's mouth. wrote this in one sitting at 5am today. please forgive any egregious errors, i wrote it without my glasses on and running on no sleep just vibes lol. hope you like it. <3

xoxo roop

#rwrb fic #fics #rwrb #rwrb fanfiction #roop writes #fic: fingers in mouths #hope you love it xoxoxoxoxoxoxo #this came after weeks of no real words sooooooo I'm happy with it and decided to post on a whim because #fuck it we ball #this came after a dream i had a night or so ago #and then i woke up like. oh i gotta write it down #and here we are #it was either this dream or the dream where i was in a fwb relationship with batman #now THAT was a dream. #but i thought y'all would enjoy fingers in mouths more #so #HAVE FUN XOXO #i have been told it has a dreamy vibe which is. wow all i can ask for???? i love y'all #xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[voiider]

fake psychic Tim but its just. its just psych. Jason dies and batman goes off the deep end so Tim (instead of becoming robin) starts going ham on the 'tips to the police' bc if the police can deal with the smaller crimes then Tim doesn't have to worry about batman killing a petty thief.

Except he's running himself into the ground and he starts getting sloppy bc he's giving the local police info, and bludhaven info (bc dick) AND probably giving Nightwing info when he can and someone catches him or he leaves a paper trail and then Officer Dick Grayson apprehends him and takes him in for questioning and Tim is like "you can't talk to me without my parents or a lawyer present, I'm a minor. And my parents are in Guatemala, so you better call my lawyer."

and Dick is like "kid you're not in trouble i just need to know who's giving you this information." Because there is NO WAY this kid isn't working with someone. Someone who is using a child to drop off information, which while noble to help the police, is putting this child in danger and tim is like, pretty offended actually. That it's being implied that he COULDN'T do this himself.

So he's like "im not working for anyone."

and Dick is like "you have to be getting the info from somewhere. I just wanna help."

and Tim is like AUGH ADULTS "I just- i figured it out on my own" and its CLEAR that Dick doesn't believe him which is, first off, super insulting, never meet your heroes, and second he shouldn't be talking anyway or admit that he goes out at night or Dick will do something stupid like try to make him stop. So he's like (rolling eyes) "I'm psychic. Are you happy? Can I have my phone call now?"

#batman #tim drake #Cue Dick ALMOST not buying it but he's like 'okay kid' #if you're psychic prove it. #And Tim is like oh he thought i was serious??? Uh #“you're favorite animal is a bat.“ And Dick looks at him confused but then sorta pales a little and is like ”... what.” #and tim is like “and you really like nighttime... walks.” #And Dick like turns off the recording and is like “kid what are you saying to me” #and Tim is like “I know you're Nightwing. The ... spirits told me.” #and honestly it's more believable that a 12 year old kid is psychic than that he figured out who Nightwing was on his own #ted talks #anyways lots of fun hijinks can ensue. Tim is technically a security rick and even though dick REALLY doesn't wanna talk to bruce #he should tell him about this... psychic child #Which can just be more questions and Tim answering them and is like #if i wasn't psychic how would i know this. #and Bruce.... doesn't know. So they have no choice but to believe him #psych tim au #also including: bruce being like “.... can you tell my son (jason) i love him?” #tim would actually be pretty good on the field with moments notice observations #he's been trained his whole life to read people at parties and know what they want from him and what they mean #regular people are MUCH easier to read than the elite who say everything backhanded and all have like poised masks of perfection #raye was telling me their psychic tim au and i was like 'ok but what if just psych' #catch us out here both writing separate fake psychic tim aus

[bluerosefox]

Teeny-Tiny Kitten

“I wish I had actual parents.”

“So you have wished it, so shall it be.”

Danielle “Ellie” Phantom makes a wish on a shooting star one night when close by Amity Park, not realizing Desiree was out for the night.

The next time she wakes up, she’s being picked up and a warm female voice asks

“Now, who on earth left this tiny and frankly adorable kitten out here. I need to have some words with them should I be bothered to find them.”

“Sel- Catwoman... That’s a baby not a stray kitten. You can’t keep her.” responded a deeper and graveled voice close by.

“Hush Mr. Serial Adopter. I know the moment I put her down you’re gonna whisk her off to that manor of yours and then hear on the news about a new Wayne next week. You have your birds, let me have this teeny-tiny kitten for myself.”   

#Danny Phantom #danielle phantom #dani phantom #deaged Dani #ellie phantom #selina kyle #catwoman #bruce wayne #batman #Dani accidentally made a wish when Desiree was out #and got deaged to a baby and got spirited away to Gotham #Danny was right behind Desiree chasing her down when he saw the wish happen #so now he's looking for his now baby clone #Selina finds baby Dani 'Ellie' on a rooftop #she jokingly thinks of adopting her once she see's the blue eyes and black hair #Bruce is with her due to them wanting some alone time #he doesn't have a comeback to her poking fun of his adopting habit #The reaction by the other bats though are funny #Dick: I KNEW YOU AND SELINA WOULD HAVE AN OOPS BABY! #Damian: FATHER! I TOLD YOU WEAR PROTECTION WHEN WITH THE THIEF! #Jason: Really Selina you could do so much better than the old man. At least this one is way better than the last spawn of Bruce's #Tim:... huh secretly born baby wasn't part of our betting pool better call Steph to see where that lands on it #Cass:.....Baby sister :) #Duke:..... Why are you all like this? -knows there was no way Selina was pregnant and hiding it for months- #Ellie despite being deaged to a baby finds out she.. doesn't outright hate it #a little strange but she's enjoying it #Alfred is over the moon with taking care of baby Ellie #danny phantom dc #dp x dc #crossover

[littlefankingdom]

Bitches be like: I will refuse any canon evidence or interpretation that Bruce Wayne is a bad father. I don't care, it's not happening, because Batman is my childhood's hero and I have daddy issues.

It's me, I'm bitch.

#batman #bruce wayne #dc comics #my ramblings #he has been my fav since I learn what superhero are so nope not happening #I may or may not have cried when Batman told me he trusted me in DCUO #daddy issues make you look for a father figure in men you look up to mommy issues make you hate any kind of motherly love

[foulmouthheart]

They call me 007

Meme fanart of @noir-renardenard's fanfic "If you give a bat a burger" Based on this post!

here without the domino mask and the original image!

#danny phantom #batman #dc x dp #dc x dp crossover #dc #dc x dp memes #if you give a bat a burger #*I* want a burger #fanart #i hate making dominos masks SO much #domino mask (derogative) #cartoon #I have just realize i didn't color the belt and i am not going to do it now #thank you very much #if you see any errors no you don't #its just the shity bat burger disguise #capitalisim yo know #i love this fic so much #go see it if you can #my pal told me to make the lights green and i think it looks cool #(I want a burger- althoutgh not a bat burger #those scare me a bit)

[quillium]

Tim and Damian Sharing Robin

Think of it this way: A cafe only needs one barista at a time, but there are multiple baristas who cover different shifts

Scheduling errors where BOTH of them thought they were gonna be Robin that night and the ensuing fistfight

Scheduling errors where both of them thought the OTHER was gonna be Robin and the panic that ensues. Damian planned a trip to the art museum. Tim planned a date with Bernard. Bruce is like “I don’t NEED a Robin” and they’re both like “YES YOU DO”. Jason ends up being Robin. Everyone assumes Robin simply got hit by a magic spell that made him Buff and Twice His Size

Tim and Dami sometimes getting mixed up for each other. Tim is mortified that he’s short enough that people think he might be the same person as his ten year old brother

People who think there’s just one Robin assuming that Robin just brings his sword out when he feels more murdery and his bo staff when he feels less murdery

Bernard being like “I have a conspiracy theory where Red Robin sometimes acts as Robin because of the bo staff, different looks, and different character”. Tim is like. Wow my boyfriend is so smart. Time to gaslight him.

Tim and Dami switching Robin shifts without informing Bruce and letting Bruce be absolutely baffled and off-footed when a different son shows up.

Bruce is like “tonight Tim is Robin so we’ll look into [investigation that requires computer skills]”. Dami shows up and Bruce is like uh oh. This is why Bruce has like 50 different contingency plans, because his children just do stuff without telling him and it destroys all his og plans

One time Tim and Dami switch and Bruce doesn’t notice for a solid 10 minutes because he’s so sleep deprived

Core Four invites Tim to a group get-together so he asks Damian to switch shifts with him, Damian demands a bribe, Tim gives Damian a new set of brushes

Damian wants to go see an animated movie with his art club, tries to ask Dick to ask Tim to switch with him, Tim appears very smug and tries to ask for a favour in turn but then Dick being a DICK says that Tim has to be the “older brother” and “if he’d do it anyways he should just do it” and “as the older brother you can’t take advantage of a ten year old”

Tim: I’m supposed to be MATURE and just allow the switch without forcing you to take my weekend shifts-- Damian: HAH Tim: --BUT I’M NOT MATURE SO TAKE THE WEEKEND SHIFTS SO I CAN STAY WITH THE KENTS ON THE LONG WEEKEND.

Tim and Damian forming a union and presenting their terms and conditions to Bruce saying that they’ll strike unless he agrees. Bruce, exhausted, points out that he has literally been trying for over a decade to get Robin to stop existing and that THEY were the ones to force him to accept them as superheroes. He gives into the union’s conditions anyways.

#dc #batfam #Tim Drake #Timothy Drake #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #sharing robin au #tim and damian: you will have no robin unless you have a movie night with us once a week! #bruce who literally fired dick from robin bc he was scared for dick's health and told tim he refused to have another robin and didn't even #appoint damian as robin and literally only has robin bc his reckless children will go whether he approves or NOT and it may as well be #with his support and supervision so that he can try to keep them safe: #i literally would've had movie night with you anyways bc i love you and also yes please stop being robin please stop #tim and damian BOTH being robin allowing each other to explore more of a normal non-cape life + have better overall health #bruce being so pleasantly surprised by his sons going OUT with FRIENDS and CHOOSING to spend nights at home etc #alfred looks at bruce like. so when are YOU getting a coworker batman. b is like. idk what you're talking about??? i'm fine??? #bruce is btw like. in his forties or fifties and his joints are COMPLAINING about all his time as batman #clark shows up one day like 'i can be your coworker batman!!!' and bruce is like #first of all you are already superman. second of all you can't work in gotham. third of all. i refuse. #it's clownery your honour