#but I FEEL LIKE categorizing my mood / mental health day by day would do something to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

becomingthatgirl111 · 9 months

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organize your week like this to be closer to the best version of yourself

i interpret the process of becoming our best version as climbing a ladder, on each step, we learn something new that serves us, and the next we complement it with something new, and so on until we reach the end and after many small habits we have become that version we wanted to be. little by little we are learning and although sometimes it is complicated to climb because of the adversities that may arise we can always take up the path again and put into practice what we have learned. that said, today i want to share a method that i have created to organize our habits and thus fulfill them more effectively and feel motivated. in this post i will only present some examples, you have to apply it to your own situation and my recommendation is to start now even with small habits that will be the ones that will lead you to success. i recommend that you try it for this week and write down your results, if it has worked for you keep using this "organization method" and adding new habits or increasing its time.

organize by categories.

create groups to categorize the habits you want to implement in your life, for example like this (the habits are examples, use your own)

🌿 health (body and nutrition)

10 minutes of exercise every day

30 minutes of walking every day

drink a lot more water

start eating consciously

one self-care day a week, for example on friday. we can take this day more relaxed and take more care of ourselves, dedicate more time to our personal and mental care.

do massage with the quartz roller and gua sha

make an appointment for nails, hairdresser, spa, eyelashes or even go to a coffee shop with yourself.

use a face mask and hair mask

🌿 personal growth

read 10 pages a day

listen to personal growth podcasts or audiobooks (choose one and listen to it all week long)

choose an affirmation and write it down every day

record in a diary or an app your mood and what you did during the day.

create a to-do list of what you will do for the day (the night before)

choose a video of affirmations and listen to it every day at a time that suits you best

🌿 studies

study about what you are studying or training for.

dedicate e.g. 20-30 minutes each day to study or review.

study a new language, 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week.

🌿 hobbies

1 - 2 hours to what you enjoy doing (depends on the day and your schedule)

you can write down in a notebook the groups you want to choose for yourself and then the habits you are going to implement, even if they are very small, for example 5 minutes of daily exercise, that is a good start.

to stay focused and not fall into old habits we can also replace the old habits with new ones that we want to implement in this way.

old habit: too much time on instagram new habit: reading or listening to an audiobook while i take a walk. or even just 15 minutes of social media a day.

other examples:

drinking soda or alcoholic beverages > drinking a lot more water and starting to drink natural juices.

watch a lot of series on netflix (or any streaming platform) > read or listen to podcasts/audiobooks that nourish my mind.

overthinking, worrying > meditating for about 5 minutes

lying in bed without doing anything > organizing my room

think in negative > think about the things you would like to happen to you

other tips to connect with your best version

write in your diary how you would act, be and what habits your best version would have. this will give you clarity about what you want and you will feel closer to that because you will know how to act.

establish small habits to start with and take it as a kind of game or test during this week. don't push yourself too hard.

at times when you don't know how to act or react, think about how your best version would act and what it would do.

write down things you are proud of or would like to be proud of.

if you are easily distracted or do not know what to do at any given moment, set alarms to know what to do at that moment.

if you use social media a lot, set a limit of use.

choose habits that you know you will be able to do easily, that will make you gain confidence and little by little establish those habits in which you have procrastinated or which are more difficult for you.

think big, open yourself to the possibilities that life offers you every day and keep a positive attitude towards any situation.

apps i recommend: habit: it serves to keep track of your habits and also get organized, it's a kind of to-do list. daylio: you can record your mood, what you did during the day and your habits, it also allows you to write and add photos. it is very complete, it can be used as a digital diary. notion: to get organized.

duolingo: if you want to learn a language a few minutes a day will be enough. i learned a lot of grammar in english thanks to this, which works if you practice daily.

and as always my blog is about this and there will be many more related posts in addition to the existing ones, all to be our best version 🤍 in fact if you try it i would love to know your results.

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blackrabbitcreations · 4 months

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How I've Managed to Consistently Journal for the Past Three Years

As a kid and then teenager and then college student I very much wanted to keep a journal. I’m afraid of growing up and not having any record of my daily life or a way to access forgotten memories.

It’s scary when you ask an adult about a time in their life and they can’t recall any details.

Journaling is heralded as the life changing answer for mental health problems, productivity, and organization. You’re supposed to journal every day, track every place you go, everything you do, purchases, your thoughts, feelings, aspirations, blah blah blah blah.

And much of the advice and inspiration on keeping a journal seems to be productivity or aesthetic driven.

I’ve tried setting reminders to journal, (not helpful), carving out weekday slots to fill in (waste of paper), buying so many art supplies (I don’t regret this). Nothing worked and I always ended up not only feeling bad about myself, but terrified over the parts of my life that are already lost to time since I didn’t document them.

What I’ve learned is having rules around something as personal as journaling is dumb!

Your journal isn’t supposed to be weapon you wield against yourself. It’s ok to live your life and not stress over capturing it in some tangible form. Sure, you could get dementia and forget everyone you ever loved and everything you ever built, but it would be better to have no record of this life than a record you traded your peace for.

I’ve managed to consistently journal over the past few years because I stopped putting pressure on myself over it. Journaling has became something fun. It’s something I look forward to.

My best advice is to find what works for you and ignore everything else. But if you’re interested, here’s what’s currently working for me:

1. Using only notebooks I love.

I donated all the notebooks I received as gifts or bought for myself but later realized I didn’t like. I don’t use spiral bound, or ones with covers that are difficult to keep clean. The paper needs to be high quality and have lines or grids.

2. Using one journal for everything in my life.

I use the same notebook for my personal life, creative projects, and professional work. It’s just one thing I have to keep track of and everything I could possibly need on any given day is with me.

3. Using pages in chronological order.

I don’t section out anything. This wastes paper. Instead I’ll label the top of a page or use washi tape on the edge of a page to categorize it. And I always clearly date every entry.

4. Making a monthly spread.

This can include a calendar, goals, trackers, a daily one line memory or event (that I don’t worry about entering every day). I make mine themed and adorable but it’s not necessary.

5. Allowing myself to write whatever the fuck I want.

No one should ever have access to this journal besides me. I let myself write as raw and real as I am.

I used to try sounding intelligent. Now I just put down all those idiotic thoughts and feelings. I don’t write with my future self reading it back in mind—who am I in this moment?

6. Doodling. A lot.

I doodle constantly in my journal. I sketch out project ideas. Having lines helps with accuracy and symmetry and it doesn’t feel like I’m wasting nice drawing paper therefore I’m more likely to sketch.

8. Pasting in trash.

Gluing in tickets, receipts, brochures, etc. is a wonderful way to document my life. They have preprinted dates, times, places, and events eliminating the need to write that all down.

I cut out images from museum guides and advertisements.

I don’t buy all that fake vintage crap or print things off—there’s plenty already out there that will otherwise go to waste.

Elmer’s glue sticks work great for this.

9. Taking it everywhere.

I never leave the house without my journal and a pen.

10. Never forcing anything.

I don’t write every day. I don’t keep track of my mood or hormone cycle to compare with my productivity. I don’t do anything I don’t feel like doing. If it’s not sticking it’s probably not working.

11. Brain dumping.

Sometimes there’s too much swirling around in my brain to write or create with clarity. I’ll take a page and write down everything that comes to mind—random ideas, messages I need to send, errands I need to run, stuff I want to do, stuff I’m worried about, literally everything that pops into my brain.

I free my brain from the burden of having to keep track of or process all of life’s shit. Brain dumps often include the same things as a previous brain dump. Patterns emerge and I gain insight on some of the behaviors or mind states I can increase awareness around.

Journaling consistently has not completely transformed my life—but it has improved it. Time feels a little slower. My days feel more meaningful even if all I did was sketch the moon making a weird face.

I don’t think I’ll be stopping any time soon.

#journal #journaling #creative process #art #drawing #creative #artwork #creative writing #productivity #organization #diary

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fathermarty · 2 years

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borderline personality disorder

✰✰✰WARNING: DISCUSSION OF MENTAL HEALTH, ABUSE, SELF-IMAGE ISSUES, SELF-HARM, SUICIDAL IDEATIONS, AND EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS. If this is something that will put you in the wrong headspace then please do not interact. I am writing this to educate others about what goes on in MY day to day life.✰✰✰

Hello everyone, I am taking a small break from my usual content to post something that will educate others on something important in my life. Borderline personality disorder, BPD as most people know it, or Borderlines; the term used to categorize us with this mental disorder.

I want to be very clear that what I am writing is my experience with BPD; it can and will differ from person to person. I am going to write about how I learned about BPD, and how it differs from common misconceptions.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

To start off; "borderline" is a very stigmatizing word when defining this disorder, it makes me personally feel like everyone sees me as unstable or as an individual looking for attention. Borderline personality disorder sounds unpleasant, I know when I first was clinically diagnosed I thought they were telling me I had split personalities. This was because I did not understand BPD, and I was automatically assuming the worse. Which people do all the time with BPD. However, surprise surprise! BPD isn't what my preconceived notation of it was. From talking in therapy, reading some books from the library to researching BPD, I learned BPD is way more than I could have ever imagined.

I learned that BPD is actually what I had previously assumed Bipolar Disorder was, also fun fact the misconceptions surrounding BPD will lead other Borderlines to be misdiagnosed and treated for Bipolar Disorder instead. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder versus Borderline Personality Disorder is a personality disorder.

People clinically diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder experience many manic episodes or episodes of depression, which is ultimately how a person is diagnosed. Over time, for a person who is Bipolar, these mania episodes happen days, weeks, and months at a time.

People clinically diagnosed with BPD experience major mood swings in a day, but our disorder is not diagnosed this way. Instead, it will be diagnosed through a series of how we act in situations. This is where I am going to talk about my personal experience with BPD and how I got diagnosed.

I learned BPD was caused by environmental factors, meaning for me it was because I was neglected and abused as a child. I was manipulated, and surrounded by other people who were not fit to be taking care of a child. Ever since I was a child I never once had a "mild" emotion. I was either so happy I could solve all the world's problems, so sad I could drown myself in my bathtub, or so mad that I could fist fight grown men. There was no middle ground for my emotions, everything was extreme and suffocating, and to this day I still experience this, and it isn't just over the course of days, weeks, or months. I experience all these mood shifts and extremes multiple times in one day. Because of literally everything I just said, everyone in my life told me I was Bipolar, I even began to believe them, but there was more to what was going on than those people looking in could see.

For example, impulsive and reckless behaviors. Actions I was doing that caused harm to myself. Binge eating, substance abuse, and other dangerous behaviors. This happens when I am at the height of emotion, whether it is sad, happy, mad, etc.

Oftentimes this would lead to self-harm, something I picked up really young and didn't stop until I was 18 almost 19. This ranged from cutting, burning, to even pulling out my hair. I don't know how to explain why I did it, and that's part of the reason why BPD is such a difficult disorder for someone to deal with. I know my emotions are extreme and how I respond to them is extreme, but it is hard to notice and acknowledge the difficulty when I am experiencing such intense emotions. During these times with my extreme reactions to how I was feeling, I would also have suicidal ideations, which is very common among people with BPD. I still struggle with this on a day-to-day basis, it crosses my mind at least twice a day, but I am learning that what I am feeling at that moment is not the end all, be all. I am learning to acknowledge and understand that not everyone is out to get me, and that the universe isn't working against me.

Because I constantly feel like people are against me, this has led to unstable relationships with family, friends, and people I get intimate with. Instead of getting to know someone in an intimate way, I cut them off right as they show interest, being that close to someone quite literally makes me panic. I've never been able to be in a relationship, and I am just not learning it is because of BPD and the fact I cannot trust anyone.

(I don't feel like I have to explain the unstable relationships with family members, I feel like that is a given with a person who has experienced trauma. We are also in the age where more and more people are standing up and communicating when there are unstable happenings in their home life.)

Along with not trusting anyone, I find myself alone far too often. Leads me down a path of being lonely and isolated, which ultimately becomes a chronic feeling of emptiness. Which, in case you didn't know; chronic feelings of emptiness will lead to disassociation. This literally becomes the issue of, I don't feel like I am real. I can't process what I am seeing or hearing as real, and I have a difficult time acknowledging and understanding how I am feeling.

My day-to-day life has been affected by BPD, and I am not able to talk about it with others because plenty of people do not fully understand what BPD means. I can't talk to the people I see every day about this because my feelings are always invalidated and ignored; however, I can tell YOU, so you understand I am not ignoring your messages or requests. Life quietly literally becomes so suffocating, and everything I feel is so intense I can't commit myself to anything other than just focusing on keeping myself stable. I am posting this in hopes to educate YOU, so YOU know how a friend or family member is feeling. BPD is never talked about and no one ever understands the true depth that goes along with this disorder. I want others to understand that we, Borderlines, don't quite understand what we are feeling either and a little patience would be appreciated as we navigate through tough times. This is my attempt to raise awareness for myself, and other people struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You are not alone, and you are so loved.

Sincerely,

Your Local Borderline.

#bpd #borderline thoughts #borderline personality problems #borderline personality traits #borderline personality disorder

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thebibliosphere · 3 years

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I had a question.

So, just an hour or two ago, I was going through some sort of “manic high”, sorta like how somebody with bipolar disorder would have (I don’t have BPD). It felt like a bullet train at max speed and completely derailing, and it was incredibly draining. It also got me wondering.

Do people with severe enough ADHD deal with ADHD episodes like this? My search attempts are often futile because all of it is just talking about how to differentiate between BPD and ADHD and BPD manic episodes, but nobody ever mentions ADHD episodes; the only time I’ve seen it mentioned ever was when somebody made a clip of crankgameplays to show what an ADHD episode looked like.

Do they even exist? I’ve got no idea, so I was just wondering if you knew.

Hey! Sorry, I saw your other ask a while ago, but I wanted to talk to my ADHD specialist before I answered because I’d never heard of the term “episode” being used to describe ADHD. I’m also going to splice both questions together here and answer them in segments in the hope it helps :)

So like I said, I’d never heard of the term “episode” with ADHD, and neither has my specialist. Part of ADHD is having a natural ebb and flow between inattention and hyperactivity, sometimes skewed toward one or the other, depending on your ADHD type. (What are the different types of ADHD?)

Your type of ADHD may also fluctuate because of other factors, such as stress, changes in medication, hormonal fluctuations, lack of sleep, overstimulation, or even under-stimulation, to name a few. Another overlooked part of ADHD is emotional dysregulation, which may cause rapid cycling emotions that may look like an “episode” to someone unfamiliar with what that actually qualifies. The way my therapist explained it and using your example of bipolar disorder, “episode” is used in diagnostic criteria to categorize manic or depressive episodes that last X amount of time, are usually severe, potentially requiring hospitalization, and are accompanied by other symptoms not found in ADHD.

Our “bursts” of energy or lack thereof typically don’t last long enough to be considered episodes. This isn’t to say they are not severe or debilitating, especially if you suffer from things like anxiety or depression that ADHD can feed into. Merely that “episode” is not used as part of the language used to discuss ADHD, which is likely why you’re not finding anything.

So, do ADHDers experience intense bursts of energy that are draining afterward? Yeah, we can do, especially if we lean more toward hyperactive than inattentive. (And again, it's normal to fluctuate and also for things to be affected or worsened by secondary factors.)

And I'm going to put the rest under the cut because this is hella long.

I’ve seen some people think that all hyperactivity has to come with fixation, but that’s not how ADHD works. It’s true if something gets us excited or gives us a dopamine boost, we might be more prone to becoming hyperfixated and burn all our energy up on that. But you don’t need something to fixate on to experience hyperactivity. Some of us are just wired to the moon sometimes, and yes, it can be very draining when it ends. Some people find medication helpful in regulating their hyperactivity/preventing it from coming in such big swings and dips.

Speaking personally, when I'm hyper and nothing is grabbing my attention, the world and people around me can feel painfully slow. It's like I'm going a mile a minute doing everything but achieving nothing. The crash that comes after can also be particularly bad, as I also have dysthymia, which can tip over into a major depressive episode depending on other factors in my life at that time. For years I was misdiagnosed as having "probably Bipolar Type II" by a doctor who didn't believe teenage girls could "get" ADHD* and convinced my parents I needed psychoactive drugs. The drugs I was on didn't help, in fact, they made me worse so I was taken off them.

It wasn't until I found an ADHD specialist as an adult a few years ago that I made any real progress. And I'll be honest, I was shocked when she diagnosed me with ADHD, I really didn't think I had it. Right up until we started doing the work and slowly but surely my mental health began to improve and my understanding of myself with it.

Sometimes there are days when I will be wired to the moon and it will derail my entire day because I can't focus on a single thing/I'll focus too much on a single thing. Other times, like when I am closer to my menstrual cycle, I'll crash into inattentiveness and depression because of how my hormones affect my various different conditions, including my ADHD. Medication would likely help with this, but due to medical reasons, that's currently not an option for me so I do the best I can.

That said, if you’re experiencing something more than hyperactivity but it's not mania, you may be experiencing a form of hypomania and you should talk to a doctor about your concerns.

Hypomania typically occurs in Bipolar Type II disorder, which is less severe than the manic episodes in Bipolar I. I’ve experienced both manic and hypomanic episodes in my life due to medication interactions, and they felt very different from ADHD hyperactivity. It's not just derailing mile-a-minute thoughts, it's something usually completely mood-altering and out of control feeling followed by devastating crashes.

If you're on any medications and are worried you are experiencing something like this, you need to talk to your doctor. You might just need a dosage tweak, or you might be better off on a different medication altogether. Also, make a thorough check of any and all medications you are taking to check for any interactions.

I'm on a cocktail of meds for my MCAS, which if I were to combine them with the SSRI one of my doctors wants me to try, would result in serotonin syndrome. The doctor didn't notice this, but the pharmacist sure as shit did!

Some people (ask me how I know) even develop mild hypomania from overusing the sunlamps used to treat SAD (link), which is why brands like Verilux now include warnings in their leaflets about not using the lamps for more than X amount of time a day. Thankfully it goes away once you stop overusing the lamps.

Which actually brings me to something you asked last time about being unable to sleep at night. Insomnia and delayed sleep phase cycles are not uncommon in ADHD. This is likely because our circadian rhythm is thought to be out of whack (link).

You also mentioned having racing thoughts at night too, which is not uncommon either with hyperactivity. I find if I get overstimulated before trying to sleep, I’ll end up lying there awake with what I like to call “radio ADHD” playing in my head. It can range from snippets of songs stuck on repeat, conversations, things I’ve watched on TV, arguments, or if something is happening the next day, fixating on not being late for it. Hence, I end up getting no sleep because you can’t accidentally sleep in if you don’t sleep. *jazz hands of despair.*

Sometimes I find Radio ADHD soothing if it’s fixating on something chill, but it can get annoying fast and even distressing if I’m tired and can’t “change the station.” (I’d say “shut it off,” but as of yet, I’ve never been able to do that. Medication helps some people with this, as can looking into “sleep hygiene” if you haven’t already.) Conversely, if I’m bored or something is too stressful, I will 100% fall asleep because my brain would literally rather just turn off than do something I don’t want to do or is a low dopamine reward task.

Brains are fun.

Anyway, I uh, I am not sure if any of this is useful to you, but I hope it helps. Mostly I'm just repeating back what my specialist said when I asked her about it lol. Good luck, and I hope you figure things out.

----

*NB: It's important to note that ADHD and Bipolar Disorder can be comorbid. It's not a one or the other situation. I’m just throwing it out there in case hearing that helps someone else pursue the proper diagnosis!

#adhd #not a doctor #just a sick person with lots of lived experience

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utterlyinevitable · 4 years

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Do We Have A Future?: January

Part 1 | Part 2: November

Paring: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Lao) Word Count: 1.9k Warning: Adult themes, mental health triggers, themes of depression, pregnancy complications and termination Summary: Rebecca told Ethan and now they have to live with the aftermath of their decision.

Author’s Note: Sensitive subject matter means I really suggest only reading if you are 18+ years old.

Taglist: @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @aylamwrites @binny1985 @ramseysno1rookie

________________________________________

Becca stood alone in the middle of Ethan’s dimly lit bedroom one morning after a scalding hot shower while flecks of snow flurried outside. She stood in front of the double wide full length mirror taking in her full form - the unchanged curvature of her hips and abdomen.

“I’d be in my second trimester…” she whispered to herself as she ran a hand delicately from her breast and lingering down to the blank space of skin below her navel.

It would have been born in June.

It was 6:30 in the morning and they needed to be at work in thirty minutes. When Ethan didn’t hear the familiar scuttering of his girlfriend hastily getting ready after choosing another twenty minutes of sleep he grew worried that something may have happened.

He gingerly opened the door to see his love transfixed in front of the mirror. He crossed the distance quietly in four long strides. Snaking his arms around her he whispered into her ear, “Are you okay?”

There Ethan stood in his standard work attire holding Becca’s cold naked body close to him, his left hand securely wrapped around her midsection and his right hand placed on top of hers at her stomach. His clean shaven chin rested on her shoulder and his bright blue eyes searched her features for the explanation he knew was never coming.

“Yeah,” she breathed as she snapped back into reality. Ethan could feel the goosebumps beginning to prick her skin and eyes started to glaze over as she pulled away from him. “Give me a minute. I’ll be ready in five.”

Becca still cried at the thought of what's been lost. She still couldn’t walk past the neonatal wing of the hospital, or any babies for that matter. Even infants on social media or television bring tears to her eyes. Some days the extreme emptiness hits harder than others.

Ethan still refused to talk about it. He wanted nothing more than to know how exactly he could help her without having to guess each and every day. But that would be breaking their solemn vow. He couldn’t break his promise after she explicitly asked him not to all those weeks ago at her appointment. Ethan couldn’t let her down; not now, not ever again.

Unbeknownst to him, Rebecca wanted nothing more than to confront the fact head on, she’s done her self deprecating wallowing and was ready to divulge. She wanted to know what’s going on inside his head. But after the last time she tried to bring it up she feared that if she continued it would be to the detriment of their relationship.

They were sitting on Ethan’s couch watching a Blue Planet documentary. Ethan comfortably laid back with his feet perched on an ottoman and Becca’s legs draped over his lap. She had the purple fleece blanket she brought from her apartment snuggled around her torso. Neither were too intrigued by this segment on flying fish, so Becca picked at the chipping paint on her fingernails and Ethan closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of how this woman beside him could make him feel so at home.

Out of nowhere the demons eating at Becca’s core shakily asked, “What would we have done if we kept it?”

Truth be told Becca had been thinking this since the moment she swallowed the first pill. What would their life be like here and now?

“Stop, Rookie,” he sternly admonished. Ethan knew she was treading down a slippery slope. She had finally started going through a routine like normal and he believed entertaining this notion would have her regress back into the shell of the woman he once knew. “No point in dwelling on the past.”

Becca pursed her lips and gave him an unsatisfied nod. She could push the subject but she wasn’t strong enough for that. She used every little bit of courage she had to let the thoughts slip off her tongue without the twin tears rolling down her cheeks. The topic seemed like taboo.

Why can’t we talk about this? she thought.

***

Becca had been back at Edenbrook for six weeks. She enthusiastically threw herself into her work hoping it would help fill the void and bring her joy. However it did nothing to soothe her like the way it once had. Rebecca was barren; the things she loved didn’t carry enough weight anymore. Her moods had also frequently gone on a roller-coaster ride, more times than she or Ethan would care to admit. She lived in the realm of fury, rage, disinterest and disdain. But at least she was talking and willing to leave the apartment.

Thankfully, Ethan thinks to himself every day she gets up and goes through the motions of her past self.

She still didn’t spend much time at her place. The awkwardness and permanent ball lodged in her throat at keeping this secret from her dearest friends had put distance between them. Becca didn’t actively want to put a strain on her friendships; she just couldn’t bear the thought of them pitying her. It was easier for them to think she’d let her new job title and relationship become her most sacred of priorities.

When Ethan noticed her dejected and hopeless look day after day he thought now was a better time than any to help move her mind on to something else.

“I was thinking…” he trailed off as they sat at his kitchen island having her favorite spaghetti bolognese dish he ordered for them from Don Luigi’s. Looking down and twirling the noodles around his fork he said softly, “Maybe you’d like to move in?”

“What?” Becca’s eyes went wide as she nearly choked on the two bits of pasta in her mouth.

“You’re here all the time anyway,” he rationalized with a shrug of his shoulders. Ethan dropped the fork and swiftly swung around on his stool to face her. There was a gleam in his eyes that involuntarily made the corners of Becca’s mouth twitch. He reached out for her hands, cradling them between his own.

“How about we make it official?” Their eyes met and Becca took a bated breath. The corners of Ethan’s lips pulled into the biggest grin - a smile Becca knew was just for her. It had been months since she’d last seen him glow like that, all the wrinkles and cracks in his features coming to light just for her. “Make me the happiest man alive and turn this place into a home, Rookie.”

Looking at the man before her she thought maybe, just maybe everything will be okay.

“Okay,” she nodded with a small smile, trying her best to give him the genuine declaration of adoration that a moment like this deserved.

***

The move didn’t help. If anything it made her mental state worse. Rebecca was completely dissociated from her current life and there were two versions wandering around in her place.

The first version; the doctor and third year resident who focused solely on her patients needs, continuously going above and beyond for them. No matter the turmoil raging inside of her. For the first time in a while she was back at the top of her game, she didn’t need Ethan to shadow her or reassign any of her potentially-emotionally damaging cases. In the halls of Edenbrook all that mattered to Becca were the lives of her patients and helping as many helpless individuals as she possibly could.

Ethan knew she was deflecting but as her boss he was overly impressed with her performance as she tirelessly solved case after case in no time at all. He came to accept that the concern he had for her well-being was better felt behind closed doors, whether it be at home or with his father figure. Ethan did consistently speak about her with Naveen for both of their sakes. The two men discussed and debated on how they can support her without her knowing, while the older doctor simultaneously consoled and navigated his mentee’s guarded emotions whether Ethan liked it or not.

The second version of Rebecca was simply Becca. A girl who’s new coping mechanism was throwing herself into packing up her life and slowly turning Ethan’s luxury and sterile bachelor pad into a home. As she packed alone in her room she let her mind project a new, better reality. One where she was still carrying. She’d pass the time singing and speaking to her flat belly of the great life awaiting the three of them. The undeniable love still coursing through her veins.

‘What are we doing today?’ she said softly with a smile as she taped together a cardboard box on her bed. ‘We’re packing up my apartment and we’re moving into daddy’s place!’ Saying those words made her heart swell, feel fuller than it’s ever been.

Rebecca wasn’t alone. Although science and any rationale would say otherwise, she still felt that the baby, her baby was still with them.

Moving about her room she categorized the objects of her life out on the floor into piles of winter clothes, summer clothes, general clothes, books, household objects, and miscellaneous. As each pile started to grow and moving around became difficult she exclaimed,

‘I have so much stuff! Where are we gonna put it all?’ She chuckled to herself as she haphazardly threw one of the piles of clothes into an empty suitcase.

Patting her abdomen she happily added, ‘Dad’s gonna have a fit; we’re gonna take over the whole place.’

This quite well may be the only time she’d get to say those words out loud with Ethan. This could have possibly been the only time she’d be pregnant. Ethan was being more than careful now that she was not on any form of contraception. Her doctor noted that the typical thing to do after a termination would have been to start on the pill but Becca refused, wanting time for her body to readjust before adding more hormones in the mix. Not like we’re gonna be intimate any time soon... she thought bitterly in her OB/GYNs office back then.

In her mind Becca was now moving and creating a nest egg at Ethan’s for their little miracle. She allowed herself to indulge in this fantasy keeping her together - keeping her happy. She had made the mistake of getting attached in those first and last two weeks of knowing and now couldn’t shake the thought. As much as she’d wanted it gone, she grew fond of the little ball of cells and all the possibilities it held. Now she felt unfulfilled; something was missing from her life, from her body and she couldn’t understand why. Why something she didn’t want and didn’t have could hurt so much.

As a woman of medicine, Rebecca is a woman of proven science. She never did believe in a higher power.

But there’s so much unknown in this world. Maybe, just maybe...

If there was even the slightest chance the soul - her baby’s soul was wandering aimlessly around in the unknown, she needed to do something about it. After much internal deliberation and listening to her heart she decided it was a girl and gave her a name, Avaline Dolores Ramsey. She thought of her dark brown hair on the top of her tiny head, Ethan’s eyes shining bright with possibility, their skin colors mixed together to give an olive complexion.

A little bundle of joy staring back at her in her mind's eye every second of every day.

__________

A/N: writing this is the most cathartic thing ever. thank you for reading. we’ve got 2 more parts to go!

#open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart #choices fanfic #oph #oph ff #ff #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #tw: abortion #tw: mental health

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bpdanakins · 5 years

Text

Anakin Skywalker + Borderline Personality Disorder

Hello there!

My name’s Elizabeth, and I really love Anakin Skywalker. I also really love the headcanon of him having Borderline Personality Disorder, so today I’m going to explore that headcanon. I’ll be explaining both the illness and its symptoms in detail, so you don’t need prior knowledge of BPD to read.

Like all mental illnesses, BPD can be expressed in many different ways. I’ll do my best to explore the ways Anakin shows signs and symptoms of it, and I’ll use a bit of both my own experience and experiences others have shared. You may agree or disagree, it’s all good. This is just something for fun, and I hope you enjoy reading it.

To start, I should explain what Borderline Personality Disorder is first. In the words of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Borderline Personality Disorder is defined as:

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a condition characterized by difficulties regulating emotion. This means that people who experience BPD feel emotions intensely and for extended periods of time, and it is harder for them to return to a stable baseline after an emotionally triggering event.

This difficulty can lead to impulsivity, poor self-image, stormy relationships and intense emotional responses to stressors.

The symptoms of BPD as listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) reads as following:

** A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating.)

Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behaviour.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Chronic feelings of emptiness.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurring physical fights).

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Alright, now that we have a basic understanding of the illness, I’ll move on to breaking down these symptoms and how they relate or show in Anakin with examples. I’ll be categorizing them as done in this article for ease of reading: Affective symptoms (covering criterion 6, 7 and 8), Impulsive symptoms (criterion 4 and 5), Interpersonal symptoms (criterion 1, 2, and 3) and Cognitive symptoms (criterion 9).

Affective Symptoms Affective symptoms is the category which covers the emotional dysregulation shown in BPD (intense moods, depression, anger and chronic feelings of emptiness). Those with BPD have difficulty controlling the range and intensity of their emotional responses; their emotions are incredibly unstable, changing moods often - sometimes within minutes.

In my experience, having BPD is like having a constant storm going on in your head, drowning out so many different things while highlighting all the wrong ones. Emotions can slam into you, so suddenly without warning or reason, so overwhelming that you can’t even think. That emotion is all there is. And then, just as suddenly, it recedes, leaving you feeling empty, or is replaced by another.

There are many, many examples of moments where Anakin’s emotions seem to change within moments. It is most prevalent with anger, especially since he has used it since a child as a way to cope with fear or other distressing situations and emotions.

Anakin was on top of him so fast the bigger being barely had time to put up his arms in defense before he was on the ground. Anakin was hitting him as hard and fast as he could, not thinking about anything but how angry he was, not even aware that the source of his anger had nothing to do with his victim and everything to do with losing Padmé. -- The Phantom Menace novelization

It is worth to note, too, that often the expressions of anger noticed in Borderlines stems from fear, panic, hopelessness, and desperation.

Borderlines are extremely sensitive to outside stimuli, meaning that a lot of the mood changes are in response to external events; particularly perceived rejection, failure or abandonment, although not always.

We know, as many characters have pointed out, Anakin focuses on the negative. Borderlines tend to be hypersensitive to the emotions of others, but often we’re more likely to notice negative emotions, rather than positive ones. This often results in us being more vulnerable in the face of criticism, and what would cause slight embarrassment for another may cause deep humiliation for us.

After this iconic first attempt at flirting, and Padmé’s subsequent teasing remark [“You’ll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine.”], Anakin’s reaction is explained thus in the novel: “And if she had taken his lightsaber from his belt and sliced his legs out from under him, she would not have shortened Anakin Skywalker more.”

(Another note on his attention to negativity is that he missed her widened smile, or the clear implications of it, too caught up in the idealized experience of being in her presence.)

However, while it is more common for a Borderline to swing toward the negative, this is not always the case! We feel all emotions to a higher degree, and this includes happiness, excitement, and other positive emotions. Anakin shows this too, mostly in response to things like approval, or love:

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s voice had gone soft, and his hand was warm on Anakin’s arm. “There is no other Jedi I would rather have at my side right now. No other man.” Anakin turned, and found within Obi-Wan’s eyes a depth of feeling he had only rarely glimpsed in all their years together; and the pure uncomplicated love that rose up within him then felt like a promise from the Force itself.

This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, for now: The Supreme Chancellor returns your look with a hint of smile and a sliver of an approving nod, and for you, this tiny, trivial, comradely victory sparks a warmth and ease that relaxes the dragon-grip of dread on your heart. -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

(Also look at this face he makes when Obi-Wan says he’s proud of him help me it’s so cute.)

We have an example of all three (anger to perceived criticism and disapproval, heightened emotions to approval, jealousy and playfulness all fluctuating quickly):

Padmé moved back to arm’s length and managed a smile as she looked over to Anakin. “Then my Jedi protector will have to prove how good he is.” Dormé gave a nervous chuckle and wiped a tear from her eye as she smiled and nodded. Off to the side, Anakin held his smile within, deciding consciously to wear a posture that exuded confidence and control. But inside he was thrilled to hear Padmé’s compliments coming his way. Obi-Wan shattered that warmth, pulling the young Padawan off to the side. “You stay on Naboo,” Obi-Wan said. “Don’t attract attention. Do absolutely nothing without checking in with me or the Council.” “Yes, Master,” Anakin answered obediently, but inside, he was churning, wanting to lash out at Obi-Wan. Do nothing, absolutely nothing, without checking in, without asking for permission? Hadn’t he earned a bit more respect than that? Hadn’t he proven a bit more resourceful, a Padawan to be trusted? “I will get to the bottom of this plot quickly, M’Lady,” he heard Obi-Wan say to Padmé. Anakin seethed inwardly. Hadn’t that been exactly the course he had suggested to his Master when they had first been assigned to watch over the Senator? “You’ll be back here in no time,” Obi-Wan assured her. “I will be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi.” Anakin didn’t appreciate hearing Padmé speak of any gratitude at all toward Obi-Wan. At least, he didn’t want Padmé to elevate Obi-Wan’s importance in all this above his own. “Time to go,” he said, striding forward. [...] “Suddenly I’m afraid,” Padmé said to him as they walked away, heading toward the giant star freighter that would take them to Naboo. Behind the pair, R2-D2 rolled along, tootling cheerily. “This is my first assignment on my own. I am, too.” Anakin turned about, taking Padmé’s gaze with his own, and grinned widely. “But don’t worry. We’ve got Artoo with us!” Again, the levity was much needed. -- Attack of the Clones novelization

Most of the events that take place on Grievous’ ship in Revenge of the Sith, both the movie and the novelization, are a great example of Anakin’s inability for emotional modulation (i.e. the ability to control the intensity of emotions) and his emotional dysregulation. He experiences joy when joking with Obi-Wan, later fear which he turns to fury during his fight with Dooku, dissociates (as I will show below) when he executes him, and then happiness when teasing Obi-Wan and having approval from Palpatine.

Impulsive Symptoms There are many times in media and society that being impulsive is seen as a good thing. Spontaneity is a thrilling and exciting trait, and someone who has it is framed as a fun person to be around.

However, in mental illness, impulses are often uncontrollable and detrimental to the health and safety of the self or of others. In BPD, it is described as reckless and self-damaging.

Many in the fandom see Anakin as a reckless and impulsive person. It’s framed in a good light; it means he thinks “outside the box”, is unconventional but gets things done and saves the day anyways. And it is true, he is those things and he often does so to help others. Plus, we have to take into consideration that the Force plays a role too. What is considered almost automatically harmful recklessness to us may not be for someone with the Force.

The line that must be drawn, then, is all about intent and motive. Is he doing this because he wants to hurt himself, or because he does not care if it harms him as a result? Without knowing his internal thoughts on the matter, or without being shown the actions as carelessness combined with negative emotions, it can be pretty tough to nail down.

So, we can perhaps infer if something Anakin does might follow in the lines of suicidal/self-injurous behaviour, but given the nature of what the shows/movies/books are (aka, not meant to be THAT dark, despite, you know, burning people and dead children, I guess), we don’t really have much to go on.

One easy example, however, is shown through the lens of parasuicide.

PARASUICIDE Parasuicide is a term for behaviour that includes both actual suicide attempts and self-injuries with little or no intent to cause death. Take, for example, an individual engaging in reckless driving: they could be doing it for the rush, in hopes it drowns out their overwhelming negative emotions, and while their intent at the time is not on crashing and dying, they might not care if it happens.

Cannonfire blazed past him, impacting on the support struts ahead. Too late to change his mind now: he was committed. He would bring his ship through, or he would die. Right now, strangely, he didn’t actually care which. -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

Interpersonal Symptoms One of the most commonly recognized symptoms of BPD are those that affect our interpersonal relationships. The fear of abandonment, the black-and-white thinking, the lack of a true identity: these are symptoms you are most likely to hear discussed first when looking into BPD or talking to someone about it.

These three criteria are all very intertwined, and they often feed or lean into each other. But most importantly, these are the symptoms that tend to come with a lot of terminology used specifically in Borderline circles.

SPLITTING What is splitting? Splitting is the term we use for the moments we switch from idealization to devaluation, or vice versa. Borderlines tend to think in black and white with no shades of gray; either people are all good, or all bad. When we “split”, it is a change in that opinion or worldview from one to the other.

In other words, one could say...

Splitting can be caused by all sorts of things, such as someone not living up to the ideal or triggering the fear of abandonment.

Splitting is often associated with opinions of others, but Borderlines can split on their views of themselves, objects, things, beliefs or even organizations (like, say, the Jedi Order).

Anakin’s splitting is often shown in his relationship with Obi-Wan. He sees him as a great hero, the greatest Jedi ever - as wise as Master Yoda and as powerful as Master Windu. (There’s also this.) He can wax poetic about how Obi-Wan is his best friend, a great mentor, that Anakin loves him...

Yet, even in the same conversation, or even within only days, he talks about Obi-Wan being jealous, overly critical, holding him back, saying it’s his fault that Anakin’s struggling. He can be joking with him in an elevator one moment, to seething the next when Obi-Wan expresses disapproval or disappointment. (Essentially AotC Anakin is splitting on Obi-Wan the whole time.)

Anakin can go on about how he loves Obi-Wan, that he wouldn’t have it any other way than to be fighting at his side, and then easily switch to saying that he cannot be trusted, to saying I hate you. And when he says and thinks these things, he means them. Why is it that Anakin can seemingly forget the soft, genuine moments he’s had with Obi-Wan within hours, to the point his entire view on who Obi-Wan is can change?

RELATIONSHIP OBJECT PERMANENCE Object permanence is a skill we all learn when we are mere infants. To put it simply, it is the realization that just because we cannot see or sense something anymore, does not mean it no longer exists. It’s why babies cry when someone leaves the room; they do not realize that things can exist even when not right in front of them.

In turn, relationship object permanence is the knowledge that a relationship, and all the good feelings that come with it, exists even when that relationship is not being constantly affirmed. (i.e. If you do not tell me you care for me, how can I know?) This skill is one Borderlines tend to lack, which is why we have such fears of abandonment, even when it’s irrational.

A simple example of this in Anakin is that he shares that Soft moment with Obi-Wan mentioned above - the one about the pure, uncomplicated love - only to later that night tell Padmé:

“Maybe he does [love me]. But I don’t think he trusts me.” His eyes went as bleak as the empty night. “And I’m not sure we can trust him.”

In the moment, Anakin does not doubt Obi-Wan’s feelings. Later, when he is full of fear, when he is so focused on Padmé and their child, he doubts Obi-Wan’s loyalties, let alone how much he cares.

On the flipside, Anakin idealizes Padmé. A lot. To the point he has, in a way, built part of his identity around her. Borderlines tend to lack a solid sense of self, and sometimes an expression of this identity disturbance revolves around defining oneself by their relationships; losing these, in turn, results in a sense that everything is meaningless and empty.

Since he was a child, Anakin saw Padmé in a grand light: she was an angel, beautiful and perfect, and he just knew he was gonna marry her. Since that moment, he has not ever dismantled or even noticed that pedestal he has placed her upon.

For years, he clung to the idea that he would be her husband, and this turned into, in his mind, a simple fact of his life. A piece of him that he could be sure about. He knows he is not what a Jedi should be; he is called the Hero With No Fear, which he knows is so inaccurate; they’re losing the war... but he has Padmé, and he cannot lose her.

“The Hero With No Fear. What a joke... Padmé, I can’t lose you. I can’t. You’re all I live for.”

“I couldn’t wait, Padmé. I had to see you.” He took her in his arms. “Tonight is forever from now - how am I supposed to live that long without you?” -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

Another of the hallmark symptoms of BPD is the frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, whether real or imagined. Borderlines often find it extremely hard to let go of relationships, and will do much in an effort to keep others from leaving.

Losing people he loves is the source of Anakin’s greatest fears.

But Anakin’s fear is another kind of dragon. A cold kind. A dead kind. [...] The dragon reminds him, every night, that someday he will lose Obi-Wan. He will lose Padmé. Or they will lose him. All things die, Anakin Skywalker. Even the stars burn out... He can barely even think about it. -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

Now, I have it on good authority that most Borderlines don’t end up going Dark Side and committing massacres to avoid someone they love leaving them, but Anakin likes to stand out.

Cognitive Symptoms These are the symptoms that relate to dissociation, paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, and other troubling but non-psychotic symptoms.

DISSOCIATION Dissociation is a psychological experience in which people feel disconnected from their sensory experience, sense of self, or personal history. It is usually experienced as a feeling of intense alienation or unreality, in which the person suddenly loses their sense of where they are, who they are, of what they are doing. (x) For Borderlines, the most common forms of dissociation experienced are derealization and depersonalization.

DEPERSONALIZATION is defined as a detachment within the self, regarding one’s mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Symptoms include: feeling that you’re an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, or your body; emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you; a sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may not be your own memories, and more.

DEREALIZATION is defined as an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Symptoms include: feelings of being alienated from or unfamiliar with your surroundings - as if you’re living in a movie or dream; feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about; distortions in perception of time, such as recent events feeling like distant past, and more.

For some, dissociation can often be the mind’s way of trying to protect itself from traumatic events or actions; sometimes even in response to extreme emotions. An easy example to observe is after Shmi’s death in Attack of the Clones - Hayden’s reaction can very easily be read as someone who is immediately trying to disconnect (emotionally, mentally) to this sudden trauma.

It’s expounded upon in its novelization as well:

The minutes slipped past and Anakin just sat there, immobilized by his confusion, by a budding rage and the most profound sense of emptiness he had ever known. Only when the pale light began to grow around him, making the low-burning candles seem even thinner, did he even remember where he was. He looked about, wondering how he might get his mother’s body out of there. [...] He could hardly move, though. There seemed a profound pointlessness to it all, a series of motions without meaning.

We also often have Anakin describing moments as if they were ‘a dream’, as if these things weren’t a part of him, but here are two good examples from the RotS novel:

The murderer blinked again. Who am I? Was he the slave boy on a desert planet, valued for his astonishing gift with machines? Was he the legendary Podracer, the only human to survive that deadly sport? Was he the unruly, high-spirited, trouble-prone student of a great Jedi Master? The star pilot? The hero? The lover? The Jedi? [...] The deck bucked as the cruiser absorbed a new barrage of torpedoes and turbolaser fire. Dooku’s severed head bounced along the deck and rolled away, and Anakin woke up.

In the Tusken camp he had lost his mind. [...] The Tuskens has been killed, slaughtered, massacred - but that has been beyond his control, and now it seemed to him as if it had been done by someone else: like a story he heard that had little to do with him at all.

PARANOID THOUGHTS Paranoia involves intense anxious or fearful feelings and thoughts often related to persecution, threat, or conspiracy. Paranoia can become delusions, when irrational thoughts and beliefs become so fixed that nothing (including contrary evidence) can convince a person that what they think or feel is not true. (x)

Signs of paranoia include intense, irrational mistrust or suspicion, which can bring on a sense of fear, anger and betrayal. Some symptoms include mistrust, hypervigilance, difficulty with forgiveness, a defensive attitude in response to imagined criticism, preoccupation with hidden motives, fear of being deceived or taken advantage of, inability to relax or being argumentative.

Within Borderlines, this ideation is described as transient and stress-related, meaning it often only lasts a short time and is brought on by a high level of stress.

Anakin experiences many bouts of paranoia over his life, often manifesting in his (sort of) delusion that Padmé is in grave danger, that he must do anything to protect her from it; in the thoughts that the Jedi mistrust him, are out to get him because of jealousy or other reasons; that even Obi-Wan cannot be trusted; and even, at times, that Padmé will stop loving him and leave him.

He knew, deep in his guts, that something had happened to her. An accident, or she was sick, or she’d been caught in one of the vast number of buildings hit by debris from the battle today... She might be trapped somewhere right now, might be wounded, might be smothering, calling out his name, might be feeling the approach of flames- [...] He could barely breathe. He couldn’t make himself even think it. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking it. Had something changed? For her? In how she felt?

“Is Master Windu turning everyone against me? [...] It has to do with them all being against me. They always have been - most of them didn’t even want me to be a Jedi.” -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

His biggest triggers for these episodes are often related to his prophetic nightmares, but also in any reminder or flashback of his trauma and fear of losing the people he loves.

---

Conclusion Anakin Skywalker is a fascinating and complex character for so many reasons, and many people are intrigued by his story because of it. Many of those are people who also have neurodivergencies or other disabilities, and that’s why - even if these headcanons are simply that, and probably won’t ever be verified - sharing with each other the ways we see ourselves in characters is both important, but also fun.

Whether you can see this headcanon for Anakin, have one for a similar/co-morbid disorder (such as mood disorders, PTSD, ADHD, etc), or none of the above, I hope you at least enjoyed the read. It was certainly pretty text heavy, so I thank you for getting this far.

If you enjoyed this and have your own thoughts, feel free to share! I’d love to chat if you have any questions, want to make fun of this Literal Human Disaster(tm), or if you have your own headcanons you want to talk about.

I certainly have many more thoughts on this - how it could relate to his decisions/actions, more examples (especially since I only used the bare minimum), more BPD behaviours, even theories about how maybe the Force could have played into it, etc. Hopefully I’ll get better at writing these out if I ever get around to sharing them.

Ultimately though, at the end of the day, we all just want to have fun, and bond over stories that mean a lot to us one way or another. Thank you again for your time; it means a lot.

---

SOURCES:

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace dir. George Lucas. Lucasfilm Ltd, 1999 novelization by Terry Brooks

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones dir. George Lucas. Lucasfilm Ltd, 2002 novelization by R.A. Salvatore

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith dir. George Lucas. Lucasfilm Ltd, 2005 novelization by Matthew Stover

Borderline Personality Disorder National Alliance on Mental Illness

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, 2013 American Psychiatric Association

Diagnosing Borderline Personality Disorder by Robert S. Biskin, MD & Joel Paris, MD National Center for Biotechnology Information

Dissociation and Dissociative Disorders Mental Health America

Paranoia and Delusional Disorders Mental Health America

Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha M. Linehan

My own personal experiences

FURTHER READING:

shitborderlinesdo on tumblr has an extensive FAQ (p1, p2) which you may find useful, although most of the posts are from about four years ago

anything by Marsha M. Linehan is useful, especially her book listed above (download)

the NCBI site has a lot of good articles with even better citations, and the citations can be read through sci-hub.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #actuallybpd #actuallyborderline #star wars headcanons #mental illness headcanons #bpd headcanon #borderline anakin skywalker #anakin headcanons #star wars meta #this took me a long while #anyways! tldr anakin skywalker has borderline personality disorder thank you for coming to my ted talk

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tidesreach · 5 years

Note

if you could rewrite skam italia season 2 to more accurately represent bpd and its symptoms, what would you change?

The short answer is I wouldn’t really change anything. But the reasons for that require explanation, so buckle in, this is going to be a long one.

I think accuracy is a subjective term when applied to portrayals of mental illness. Because people have very varied experiences. So what would be an accurate portrayal of BPD for me might not necessarily be accurate for someone else. Since the revelation of Nico’s diagnosis and my various posts on the subject, I have had messages from numerous other borderlines. A lot of them – like myself – related to Nico in many aspects. But there are also some who didn’t – or who did in some aspects but not others. The fact of the matter is that it’s not possible to portray a disorder like BPD in a way that is wholly accurate and relatable to everyone in all aspects because people have such varied experiences. If you’re interested in another portrayal of BPD, I recommend watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. For me, some aspects are incredibly relatable – sometimes uncomfortably so – but others are not. But that doesn’t mean those aspects are inaccurate. Another portrayal of BPD is the film Girl, Interrupted (one of my absolute favourite films) – however, some people with BPD (myself included) relate less to Winona Ryder’s character, who is the character diagnosed with BPD, and much more to Angelina Jolie’s character. Like I said, it’s subjective.

It’s also important to note that though there are nine diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder only five are required for diagnosis. So one person could have almost completely different experiences to another. And even if you do meet all of the same criteria as someone else with BPD your symptoms may manifest in different ways. For this reason people’s experiences with BPD can be incredibly varied. I meet all nine of the diagnostic criteria (it’s like winning a really shit lottery) – so I have experience dealing with all of them, but how I experience them may be very different to the way someone else experiences them. As an example: people deal with fear of abandonment in different ways. Some people self-isolate as a way to avoid abandonment. Some people may appear “clingy” e.g. they will send constant texts and make frequent phonecalls. Some people experience what we call “splitting”. Some people experience all three. Basically, we all have our own individual experiences and there’s no one way to be borderline. Symptoms can manifest in so many different ways.

I’m putting this under a read more to save everyone’s dashboards because it’s quite lengthy. But if it interests you, I’ve listed the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for BPD and how Nico’s symptoms accurately fit into that.

The nine diagnostic criteria for BPD are quite broad and are as follows:

Frantic efforts to avoid real and imagined abandonment.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, often characterised by extremes between idealisation and devaluation (also known as “splitting”).

Identity disturbance: Persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Impulsive behaviour that is reckless and potentially self-damaging (e.g. overspending, excessive alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex, binge eating, spontaneous decision-making, the list goes on).

Recurrent suicidal behaviour or ideation and/or self-harm.

Emotional instability (intense mood swings) e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, euphoria, irritability, or anxiety that can last from hours to days

Chronic feelings of emptiness and loneliness

Intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

Stress-related paranoia or severe dissociative symptoms (feeling disconnected from the world, or your own body, feelings, thoughts and behaviours)

It’s difficult to know how many of the criteria Nico meets as we have very limited background information to go on. After all, this is Martino’s season. Everything we see of Nico is in relation to Martino. Which makes it even more difficult to portray something like BPD. We have no inside knowledge of Nico’s thought processes, his past behaviours or what led to his diagnosis (hey, Ludo, can we uhhhhh get a Nico season please?). But he has to meet at least five of the above criteria to have been diagnosed. From what we have seen, the five he definitely meets are:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (the back-and-forth with Marti, ignoring his texts then telling him he wants to be with him, freezing Marti out after his ill-advised comment on mental illness, going back to Maddi, the flipbook and the antidote, suggesting that he leave and his refusal to let Marti look at him when he was in a depressive state).

Impulsive/reckless behaviour (breaking into the pool at Halloween. Taking his mum’s car and driving to Bracciano. Milan in general.)

Emotional instability (I don’t think I need to give you specific instances here because his emotional instability becomes quite evident in general).

Chronic feelings of emptiness and loneliness (his speech about solitude in Nel Mio Letto explains this feeling perfectly).

Stress-related paranoia or severe dissociative symptoms (Milan, again).

He also shows clear signs of:

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships (his parents, Maddalena, probably his friends/the boy he liked from his previous school. But we have limited information on his interpersonal relationships outside of Marti – though that’s unstable for most of the season thus is a sign in itself – so whether there is a distinct pattern of unstable relationships is unclear at this point, but it’s very likely given what information we do have. Whether he experiences splitting or not is unclear, too).

Identity disturbance (when he asks Marti if he should get a haircut and a tux to meet his dad, when he proposes à la Love Actually, when he’s staring at his reflection in the hotel room window, when he’s rapping Earl Sweatshirt and boxing in the bathroom – these could all be signs of an unstable identity, but I wouldn’t categorically define him as having persistent identity disturbance since we don’t know if it is in fact a persistent symptom).

So, Nico meets at least five but very likely seven out of the nine diagnostic criteria. The only two he hasn’t shown any signs of are:

Recurrent suicidal behaviour or ideation and/or self-harm.

Intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

So, to reiterate, accuracy is subjective. Nico’s symptoms were incredibly relatable for me personally. They’re just not the only symptoms and not the only way symptoms can manifest. Like I said, I experience all nine of the diagnostic criteria. So it wasn’t even a 100% accurate portrayal for me because I experience other symptoms too (splitting, anger/rage, suicidal behaviour and self-harm, among others). But I did relate a hell of a lot to the symptoms Nico did experience and the way he experienced them. I’m also incredibly grateful they didn’t focus on the suicidal aspect because there’s a lot of stigma surrounding BPD in regards to suicidal behaviour being manipulative, and if not handled well it might have been counterproductive. It was so important to me to have such a hopeful portrayal for that reason, because we are often portrayed in a terrible light.

I think the main thing that confused people regarding accuracy was Nico’s episode in Milan. Because it looked similar to Even’s manic episode in the OG. Which I understand. But it wasn’t the same thing. Many people with BPD, myself included, experience psychotic symptoms. Psychotic symptoms such as severe paranoia, hallucinations, depersonalisation, derealisation or distortion of beliefs and perceptions aren’t uncommon (there are a bunch of studies on this if you’re really interested, because health professionals are still trying to determine the cause and frequency of psychotic symptoms in BPD patients). They’re generally triggered by stress. I’ve experienced brief episodes of psychosis on and off for years. This is what Nico experienced in Milan (triggered by the stress of his parents and Maddalena trying to control him) – Nico truly believed that he and Marti were the last two people on Earth. To me, his episode looked like severe dissociation leading into brief psychosis – or psychotic symptoms, if you will (episodes of psychosis in BPD tend to be brief). So while I understand that it was confusing, it was, in fact, a fairly accurate portrayal of psychotic symptoms in BPD. I had a far more severe reaction to Nico’s episode than I did to Even’s because I saw so much of myself in him. Would it have been helpful to portray Nico’s psychotic symptoms in a way that wasn’t so similar to Even’s manic episode? Absolutely. But the fact remains that it was accurate and it made sense in the context of the season and the metaphor that Nico got caught up in of him and Marti being the last men on earth. It wasn’t random, it was cleverly interwoven.

Sorry for how long this got, but I felt like to answer this question required some explanation. To summarise, I actually don’t think I would change anything. There’s a reason I relate so much to Niccolò. But I don’t contest that others with BPD might not have found it as accurate a representation as I and others do. That’s absolutely their right. Because symptoms are incredibly varied and we all have our own individual experiences.

#aela answers things #skam italia

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trustyourgutblog · 5 years

Text

❁ Intro. Q&A with S&C ❁

❁ What is your favorite type of movement?

S: I struggled with movement for a long time. Exercise was categorized as a chore in my brain growing up. I had parents who LOVED running, yet running always made me feel like I was dying. I discovered yoga in late high school. Last year, I completely fell in love with a studio that incorporates HIIT, core, and heat to create a dynamic workout. I'm obsessed! It's my therapy, workout, community, and whole heart in one. I also love that yoga is a competition against yourself - constantly bettering your own practice, rather than focused on competition against others.

C: Growing up I was always active and involved in sports like basketball and track. I’ve ALWAYS hated the running aspect, but every now and then I’ll go for a jog outside if it’s nice out. Now that I get to choose my workouts, I enjoy a combination of lifting, yoga, and HIIT workouts. My workout split typically looks like 4 days of lifting and HIIT and 1-2 days of yoga. On rest days, I always start my mornings with a short yoga flow or light stretching. I also enjoy the hot yoga classes that S talked about above! Hot yoga is what brought us together :).

❁ What is your favorite way to de-stress?

S: Oh god. Anything alone. Seriously. I am extroverted until I hit my limit and once I hit that limit it is a hard crash. I recently moved to a really friendly neighborhood and have loved riding my bike to the library, curling up in my hammock, and reading a great book while listening to some instrumental tunes.

C: So many different ways! As a social worker, in order to be effective, I have to be on top of my self-care at all times. Journaling, meditation, yoga, reading, walking, and playing with my dogs and cats are some of my favorite ways to de-stress. I also find that using ear seeds helps when I’m experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety. Stay tuned for more ear seed info. in later blog posts!

❁ What is your favorite self-care strategy?

S: I need to be organized. I like knowing what food I'm going to eat the next day, having everything written out and color-coded in my planner, etc. I do really well when everything is put in its place and prepped for the next day - to a fault. I tend to deal with my high maintenance personality with obsessive organization because it is the type of self-care that directly combats my ADHD brain and keeps me functioning.

C: In addition to the ways that I de-stress above, I find a sense of calm in my weekly routine. At the beginning of the week, I enjoy cooking and meal prepping lunches for work, cleaning, and journaling my goals and intentions for the week. I have a Panda Planner that I like to use to stay organized. I also feel my best when I’m taking care of myself (i.e. focusing on eating well, being active, and maintaining my beauty/skincare routine).

❁ What are your health passions?

S: I have been on and off vegan for 6 years. I decided to start it back up at the beginning of this year, and 99% of the time I follow veganism. That's a HUGE passion of mine. I also recently started cycle syncing and I can't shut up about it!! I'm so excited to see what benefits it will provide. I'm a RYT200 yoga teacher with certifications in trauma-informed, children's, and teen yoga - I'm particularly passionate about incorporating vulnerability and mental health aspects into my practice. Lastly, I struggle with physical health (Endometriosis diagnosis) and mental health (GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder & ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder diagnosis), this has been a huge journey for me over the past two years. I am currently at a point where I manage these diagnoses really well naturally and it's important to me.

C: GUT HEALTH, GUT HEALTH, GUT HEALTH! That is what inspired the name for this blog! I find that my gut health impacts my skin, moods, weight, energy level, and my overall well-being. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease and IBD in 2016 and have been focused on healing myself with a combination of Western Medicine-based medication, nutrition and journaling food sensitivities, vitamin supplements, movement, and strategies to improve my mental health. Don’t get me wrong - I’m very passionate about mental health in general as I’m a practicing therapist, however, I tend to get burnt out on focusing on mental health only as it is often difficult for my consumers to incorporate a holistic approach. I am also passionate about movement and working on my fitness, as Fergie would say. There’s something uplifting about accomplishing a new fitness goal whether it’s increasing my weights in lifting or holding a headstand in yoga (still working on that one lol).

❁ What led you to wholistic wellness?

S: I had parents who made a huge lifestyle change right after my freshman year of high school. As a family, we went vegan cold turkey (or is it cold tofurkey? pls laugh) and my Mom poured her heart and soul into researching natural alternatives. I have had my own battle with balancing traditional medicine with more holistic results. I very strongly believe in wholistic approaches - I'm not against medication by any means, but I believe it's so so important to treat the whole person and that there is no "one size fits all" approach.

C: Growing up, I didn’t think there was anything particularly “unhealthy” about my lifestyle, but reflecting back as an adult, I can definitely say that we were not a household that was focused on optimal nutrition. We drank gallons of milk and Sunny D and ate maybe a serving of canned vegetables per day. We were active, so no one in my family was overweight, but I think my parents were just raising us on foods that they grew up on (that and canning became all the rage in the 90’s). I would say that I became passionate about holistic approaches to my health shortly after I was diagnosed with Crohn’s and was trying to learn to manage my symptoms. I had a lot of inflammation in 2016 and was prescribed a low dosage of steroids until my doctor prescribed immunosuppressants to keep my immune system from attacking my colon. I began focusing on more holistic approaches when I noticed that medication alone wasn’t making me feel 100%. Sure, it stopped my active inflammation, however, I was still struggling with stomach cramping, diarrhea, and chronic fatigue. About 1 year after I was diagnosed, my husband and I moved to a larger area where I had access to more specialized medical providers. My new gastroenterologist (GI) referred me to a nutritionist who helped me to learn to identify my food sensitivities. She also referred me to a behavioral health psychologist who provided me with an outlet for my stress and anxiety. I began to learn that I was holding chronic tension in my stomach whenever I was stressed or anxious about something. That’s when I began to understand the importance of holistic health.

❁ What is your personal social media?

S: @sarahlhively on Instagram

C: @cassandruh_dee on Instagram

❁ What kind of posts can I expect to see on this blog?

S: I'm really excited to talk about managing mental health naturally (particularly anxiety), possible book recommendations, self-care, and healthy meal prepping while on a broke college student’s budget.

C: I look forward to sharing my personal experiences with navigating my chronic health issues, nutrition, FODMAPs, gut health, mental health, the gut-brain connection, fitness/movement, and self-care.

❁ Why social work?

S: It's nice to not have this question followed up by "you know you'd make much more money as _______. Is it too late to change your major?" But for real. I started college as a special education major, quickly realized I'd rather do pretty much anything other than write lesson plans, and switched to being a WGST major. I expected to be able to get a job doing advocacy work with a particular focus on LGBTQ+ & women issues. I soon realized the WGST track is for students who eventually want to do research and social work was more what I was looking for. I never looked back. The multiple directions a social work degree can be taken in, the continually changing cases, the advocacy, vulnerability, and seeking justice for people all capture my heart.

C: I have always been passionate about having a career centered around helping people. I became interested in therapy after having a particularly negative experience with a therapist that my dad sent me to when I was getting caught in the middle of my parent’s divorce and I experienced some trauma. I originally pursued psychology, however, fell into social work when I figured out that there are so many different opportunities available for MSWs. I truly love my job and feel grateful to be compensated (FYI times have changed and not all social workers make next to nothing - thank the universe) for serving the children and families on my caseload

#wellness #holistic #vegan #health #health & fitness #nutrition #self healing #mental health #social work #yoga #movement #guthealth #chronic disease

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themostcleverandwittyname · 5 years

Text

There’s Power in Pain

CH1 CH2 CH3 CH4 CH5 CH6 CH7 CH8 CH9 CH10

CH11 CH12

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

(LinkxOC)

Summary:

A farmer with a troubled past had found a fallen hero on a riverside and makes the decision to take him in. With Ganondorf gathering power by the minute, there is no time to delay in his defeat however there is a time and place for everything as well as a lesson to learn. Link will have to do the hardest thing he has ever done and that is wait until he is ready to defeat Ganondorf.

But will Link ever truly be ready to rely on help to do the impossible? To accept that even heroes need support even from the most unlikely of people?

Meanwhile, a group of thieves organize to steal the sacred sword of the Hero of Destiny for themselves.

Chapter 12: Canteen

Chapter 12 on AO3

Annette was laid over her horse, her arms dangling at the sides. The sun had set and they had been on horseback for over an hour. She was certain that a bruise had already formed on her back from being slammed into the table. Link hadn’t said much after that, quietly playing his flute on the ride, exploring different songs that he knew. Several of them were so unique and she had never heard them, but when she asked where he learned them, he just responded that his mentor taught him and went back to playing. She had hoped that their outing would be a good one, and for several reasons it was.

Link had gotten his clawshots back, crossing off another item from the list. Seriously, she wished she had half his luck. They had no hitch in running errands and she was able to hustle some arrows out of Beedle, something she counted as a personal victory. But at the same time, the ache she felt from their little tussle in the cafe was enough to sour just a part of her day and she was certain Link was no happier about it than she was. She was still impressed that he knocked that guy out with a punch, yet she hoped for Link’s sake that he hadn’t overdone it.

One of the worst things, if she had to categorize, was learning that Ganondorf had not fully been vanquished. She almost felt silly, naive for thinking that such a hateful man could be snuffed out so soon. Yet, she believed the worst part of it all was the guilt smeared on Link’s face as he had told her. As if he were to blame for the return of Ganon when no one else dared to do anything about it.

It made her think on the horse ride, her doubts coming to full circle. Link’s behavior was now fully explained.

What if, by insisting that he rest up and being concerned for his health, she was tampering with fate. Was his fate just to be a tool? A weapon? She wondered if she was doing the world an injustice by treating him like a person instead of a hero. Was that so bad? Still, she would feel to blame if he ran off and fell in battle because he didn’t fully recover. She began to wonder if anyone from his home urged him to rest, insisted that he stay safe. He had never mentioned anyone and she realized that she had no clue what his life was like. She didn’t know who his friends were or what he did outside of hurting himself. He had mentioned a friend once, but he never went into it in any depth.

The soft notes of the pan flute ceased and Annette looked up, seeing her house in view around a bend of trees, the gas lantern that she kept lit outside glowed a dull yellow. A beacon in the night. She was grateful to Cordial, who knew the way home and had led them there even in the dark. She was a smart horse and sometimes Annette wondered if she took her for granted. Evidently, Epona was equally as loyal, following along without diverging. Link hadn’t exactly been tugging on the reigns, but his horse still knew where to go.

Putting his flute away, the blonde gathered himself and was ready to dismount his stead as they came to the small stables. Straightening up, Annette prepared herself to hop down and take care of both of the horses, but Link had beat her to it. Although the crescent moon didn’t offer much light, she could still see the firmness of his face. He didn’t look particularly happy.

“Let me board the horses. I’ll be inside in a bit.” He spoke quietly, and Annette could already tell that no argument could be made. He probably wanted alone time and she couldn’t say anything against it. Without acknowledging his words, she took a breath and hopped down from her saddle, taking the accumulation of bags from the day’s shopping as Link took Cordial’s reins. With another glance at the blonde, whose back was turned as he headed towards the stables, she walked inside and set the bags down before she lit a lantern to illuminate the kitchen.

Busying herself with putting away the various bread, farm-fresh veggies, and smoked meats, she felt the exhaustion fall onto her shoulders and each movement strained at her sore back. She scowled to herself and put the kettle over a new flame, cherishing the heat of the burnt-out match in her fingers. Some tea and the cookies she had bought would help her to relax, she concluded, and sat at the round table waiting for the familiar whistle of her kettle, having to sit at an odd angle as to not hurt her sore back. Thoughts of the day spun through her mind as she got lost in thought.

Her heart dropped when she recalled the conversation at the restaurant, despite wanting to shake it from her mind. It wouldn’t help her relax but no matter how she tried, it resurfaced again. Everything Gerudo had worked for in the past fifteen years to renew what had been destroyed by the evil king and now there was the possibility he could come back and finish his wreckage. It was the decision of the Gerudo people to ultimately have him executed, and she was sure that a betrayal like that wouldn’t leave his mind.

She jumped when she heard the side door shut behind her and immediately felt silly for being startled. Under normal circumstances, in her fright she may have uttered some smart remark or insult but her scare drew attention to her back and she instead bit back a groan. The blonde gave her a look and glanced over at the kettle. Hoping that he wouldn’t say anything, she opened her mouth to ask him if he wanted cookies, but he was quicker.

“Your back hurts doesn’t it?” He asked, but from his inclination, she could tell he already knew. There was no way he could watch her get shoved into a table like that and not wonder if she was sore afterward, but she was surprised he brought it up. She looked at him in contemplation on whether or not she should admit that it hurt or just chalk it up to being nothing more than a little bump.

Scoffing aloud, she got to her feet and slid the chair under the table as she headed to the counter to fiddle with a teacup, as if preparing it further.

“Of course it hurts. It will be sore for a few days, but I’ll be fine. Now, do you want tea and cookies or should I count you out?” She answered short and anything but sweet, but she didn’t want sympathy for it.

There was a moment of silence and she wondered if she should have been more sensitive, yet the blonde behind her spoke again, her focus on the teacup.

“At least tell me why those guys were looking for a fight. It can’t be just because they were bored and “asses”, as you put it.” he asked, folding his arms and wincing a bit at the movement, his broken arm still bothersome to him. Annette shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. What was she gonna say now? After a deep breath, she began to give her vague, detached response.

“There are a lot of things in Termina to do and it is more dangerous than Hyrule is, especially Clock town. Let’s just say that along with an unhealthy obsession with swords, my brother also had bad friends who unfortunately thought that by extension I was also their friend. Nothing more than a conflict of interests.” She explained and was ready to shoot down any further prodding. She didn’t want to get into it this evening and she was sure Link didn’t want to hear it either. Their day had held enough bad news and foul situations.

“A conflict of interests, huh? I know about that but none of mine ever ended with smashing a teacup on someone’s head.” he said, and she could tell he was trying to deflect the mood. He gave her a little smile and then motioned with his hand. “Can I have a look at your back? It’s only fair considering you’re always on my case about my injuries.” He said softly and she looked away, feeling guilty for being so harsh with him about his concern. It wasn’t a bad thing that he wanted to make sure she was okay, so why was she so defensive? She couldn’t answer it for herself. Since when was it okay for her to worry about him but be mean when he did the same? Under any other circumstances, she would be quick to accept her own hypocrisy, but she was too tired and felt they both needed to relax. Arguing over letting him help her wasn’t on her agenda this evening.

“Fine, if you must. It’s hardly an injury so you can’t compare it to you.” she began and then mentally scolded herself, finding herself do it again. “Thanks for your concern anyway.” she concluded, hoping the addition would soften her statement. The swordsman approached and taking a cue, she folded the back of her shirt up for him to take a look. He hummed to himself in his inspection. “What’s the status back there?” Bruise?” she asked, not really liking the uncomfortable judgment of her injury.

“Bruise.” He confirmed. Before anything else was said, a prodding finger poked at her back and the pressure was a little more than uncomfortable. She took in a breath and was about to say something scalding before a question fell from him, “Does that hurt?”

“Of course it does! What did you thi-” she was cut off with another question, her sarcastic remark stunted before she could get into it.

“Do you have a canteen?” his question left her dumbfounded for a moment. Letting her shirt fall back over her bruise, she gave him a look.

“Canteen? What do you want that for?” She asked, as he looked over her shoulder at the countertops for what she assumed was a canteen. He, still searching, gave a small response as he stepped forward and began to rummage through the cabinets. She stood back and watched as he explained himself.

“For your back. Filling it with hot water and pressing it to your back will help some. I used to do that when I would go on journeys and got hurt. You’ll see.” he stated, things that he moved around clinked and clanged in the cabinets and Annette herself was trying to recall where she would have put a canteen.

“It’s not really worth all the trouble, but I admit it is a nice thought. Knock yourself out.” she resigned, giving an unseen wave of the hand as the kettle whistle began to rise in volume. As she pulled the kettle from its perch, she heard a quiet aha from Link. He had found a canteen. As soon as he had found it, he spun around and took the kettle from her, not asking for it by any means. She huffed and waited for the kettle to return so she could make her tea, Link focusing to pour the boiling water through the mouth of the metal container. She was half expecting him to miss the mark and spill hot water on his hand, but he was accident-free.

With the canteen filled, he handed her the kettle and took a step back to secure the cap nice and tight. Without a word, he left the room to go fetch something and she, having never gotten an answer on whether or not he wanted tea, waited for his return as she stirred sugar into her drink.

Returning with a towel wrapped canteen, he presented it to her and all she could offer was a small thanks. With his care done, he tried to subdue a yawn and she knew what he would say next.

“It’s been a long day, so I’m going to bed. What about you?” he asked, stopping in the kitchen doorway. Balancing her tea, cookies, and warm canteen in her hands, she shook her head.

“I don’t believe I can sleep yet. You were up early so I bet you’re beyond sleepy. Goodnight and thank you for the, er, canteen.” she said, setting her cup and saucer down with a clink next to her armchair. He hummed in acknowledgment and almost looked as if he was going to ask her why. She settled herself down in her comfy seat, paying more attention to the call of her cookies than to whether or not he’d ask.

“Don’t stay up too late.” He said, finally, slinking off to bed, the sound of the door clicking behind him left her mind to shift into her thoughts. With some inspection of the canteen, the warmth nicely insulated in the towel, she decided it was worth a shot and placed it under her back, letting the warmth dwindle there.

Cherishing the tea and cookies, she could now cherish the steady warmth of the canteen as it helped her soreness fade. It was a different kind of warmth than that of evening tea because this time she hadn’t done it just for herself.

...

The soft chirps of birds outside greeted Link as he stretched, pulling himself up to sit on the bed. Rolling his shoulder, he had decided that after some time of lying in bed and soaking in the comfort of the pillow it was time to get up. His injured arm was stiff and sore, but it was no where close to as painful as it had been the previous morning.

In his time of lying around, he had heard no clinks or thumps from Annette in the other rooms and he wondered again if he had woken before she had. Judging by the light that streamed in through the windows, the clear and bright light was not golden enough for it to be dawn. In other words, he had slept late. Taking to his feet, he continued to stretch his arms and the pain of his left was more bearable. A good sign.

Taking his arm as a signal, he pulled his shirt over his head and unraveled the bandages around his torso. Slowly but surely, they came off and he used the mirror to help him inspect his chest. The gashes were now healed and only in smaller, diminished spots were streaks of scabs. None that would be affected by movement. The bruises from the bublin incident by the creek were faded, yet still tinged his flesh blue and purple hues. The only thing that remained so clearly was new, pink scars and older, lightened scars from previous injuries. Part of him didn’t mind so much the scars that littered his body, yet some of them still felt painful through the memories he had with them. They were earned out of dark times and harsh battles. One scar, in particular, was particularly soured by memory, as it was at Ganondorf’s hand. A paled scar just under his collarbone.

Trying not to dwell on it too much, he happily threw the bandages aside and looked through the dresser and scrutinized the many shirts he had pushed aside of Annette’s brother. Some of the things didn’t match his style, if Link even had a style. He wore what he liked and it was that simple. Finding something suitable for his taste, he pulled a sleeveless blue Hylian style shirt on and brushed his fingers through his hair before casting a glance to his sword, which lay atop the trunk in the room. He had never opened the trunk, as he didn’t feel like sneaking around when the brunette woman had trusted him without much effort. Taking his sword in hand, he made his mind up how he’d spend his day if he were stuck here until his tunic was tailored.

Stepping out of the room, he looked around the living room and peered into the kitchen, finding no trace of the brunette. He stepped to the window and looked out to where the stables were, her horse was present. Scratching the back of his neck, he stepped over to the door to her bedroom, where he had never entered. Giving a knock, he heard no response. After not enough deliberation, he cracked the door open and looked inside to find her bed absent. It was the first time he had ever looked in her room so he took a moment to give it a fair sight.

Her bed had not been made and she had an abundance of pillows. It was not a traditional bed, with a frame and bedposts like Nal’s old room was, but rather more of a large round and fluffy cushion that was perhaps twice the size of a normal bed and it was decorated with pops of color and woven blankets. A yellow and red quilt covered most of it. If he had to guess, it was a Gerudo thing. He noted that with the number of pillows and cushions, it had to be cozy. Among the very odd bed, she had a vanity with loads of golden jewelry, wooden knobs held necklaces and earrings. Given that the odd bed took up nearly half the room, it was understandable that she didn’t have more clutter, but he supposed that what the bookcase in the living room was for.

He reasoned that if she were not inside and had not left the property, she must be just outside. Stepping into the kitchen, he found a handwritten note on the kitchen table along with a cake in a glass cake stand. He picked it up and read the writing to himself.

This is a gift from my mom. You can help yourself with a slice for breakfast or you can attempt cooking again with the smoked sausages that I bought yesterday. Of course, I trust you can make yourself tea or coffee if that’s what you’d like.

That was all that the note said and he was unsure if she was away or close by, as the note had not provided any answers. Maybe she had gone out with her mom for the day? But if that were the case, he would think that it would be in the note.

Taking it upon himself to figure it out, he placed the paper down and with his sword slung over his shoulder, he headed out the side door and into the side garden. Immediately, he was greeted with voices from a conversation just around the corner, but the tones were not friendly and mirthful. Given this, he felt more inclined to be careful and not just jump out and ruin an important topic between Annette and whoever it was she was talking to.

“But vabai , that’s the problem. Apparently, it’s not that easy. He described it as a “phantom”, like some kind of spirit. I don’t think that a normal army could do much.” Annette’s voice rung out and Link peered around the corner of the house to get a quick peek at the brunette. She sat at and ironwork metal table with a very tall and muscular woman. Her skin was darker than Annette’s and she held her arms over her chest, a scowl on her face. She looked twice as tall as he was and her blazing red hair was pulled into a high ponytail. The oddest thing, if he could pinpoint, was the mundane and average Hylian style clothes she wore, a simple skirt and a loose top with flowing sleeves. She was scary looking and immediately the resemblance was clear. She was Annette’s mom and they both had the same angry face.

Ducking back behind the corner of the house, he thought it best to turn back and go back inside, that is, until he became interested in what the larger women had to say. The rose bush provided a proper shield from anyone’s eyes.

“Gah, how do you even know that boy tells you the truth? He may just be telling you that to escape responsibility. There is nothing that a well-aimed Gerudo spear cannot pierce.” she said and he could hear the signature sigh from the brunette.

“No, mom, I don’t think it’s like that…” she trailed off before the topic shifted. “My main concern is our people. What if he comes back to ruin everything? He’s not above holding a terrible grudge and if someone who has that sword couldn’t stop him outright then… what are we going to do? I doubt the queen will listen to any warning like this, especially from an outsider like me.” she said, her voice dropped.

Link knew exactly what they were talking about. He knew her reaction to him admitting Ganon’s return wasn’t as explosive as he thought it would be. He understood now. She didn’t want to discuss it with him. Her worries were kept to herself. Taking a deep breath, he listened on.

“Oh, vehbi , don’t worry about that. If he comes back, Gerudo can handle him this time. You should worry about the more pressing things, like that boy you have harbored here. He’s too dangerous and he needs to go.” she said, sharpness in her voice. Link held his breath. Was that true? He hadn’t thought of it that way.

“Harbor? He’s not a criminal. It’s Link. I’ve only known him for a week, sure, but he’s not dangerous to me. Every time I yell at him he looks like he’s about to cry.” she said, a chuckle from her pushed her point. That also wasn’t true...was it? It was nice to hear her take up for him, but not like this.

“It may not be him personally that is dangerous, even though I still wouldn’t trust him an inch, but it’s what he has that’s dangerous. That book is enough to keep in your home, but that sword? Honey, do you realize what Volmar will do it he finds you with it. I don’t care how much of a soft spot he has for you, he’ll kill you.” her words were laced with a stern warning. Volmar? He didn’t recall Annette ever mentioning that name. The thought of someone killing someone over his sword was awful and he felt his heart drop.

“He won’t find out. Besides, Link will be leaving in a few days when his armor and tunic are restored and all I’ll have to conceal is that book.” Annette said matter of factly, but her mother continued on.

“I say you should burn that book and kick Link out as soon as you can. Don’t speak to him after this, if you know what’s good for you.” she advised and he could visualize Annette’s face, even though he couldn’t see her.

“I can’t just kick him out. Besides, it’s just a few more days and-” her mother interrupted her

“Oh, you think he’s your friend, huh? Friendly or not, boys cannot be trusted and he’ll disappoint you one day. They all do.” she stated and there was a small period of silence. What would Annette say to that? Link closed his eyes and listened extra hard.

“Yeah, I kinda see him as a friend, but I don’t think I’m being careless. He’s… not up to anything bad and I don’t think he’d ever betray my trust.” she said finally and her mother scoffed aloud.

She thought he was her friend? The thought had never really occurred to him, but he considered her a friend too. He certainly wanted her to be safe and feel content, so he wasn’t surprised that she was a friend to him. However, he had a small impression that he was a bother to her and all she wanted was for him to leave. Not all of her actions said this, of course, but she may have just been nice about it, despite her usual rude exterior. He wasn’t sure if it was reassurance or just the thought, but it was warming to hear that, even if he had to hear it from behind a rose bush.

“Oh, but you’re not sure? You don’t think he’d betray your privacy either do you? But let me tell you, I know he already has for sure.” the woman paused and he could hear the sound of the chair slide back from the table.

What did she mean by that? Before he had a chance to figure it, a sharp and directed remark broke out from the woman.

“That Link is an eavesdropping little rat!”

...

CH1 CH2 CH3 CH4 CH5 CH6 CH7 CH8 CH9 CH10

CH11 CH12

#loz #loz fanfic #loz twilight princess #loz link #loz fanfiction #legend of zelda #legend of zelda fanfic #legend of zelda tp #Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess #legend of zelda link #twilight princess #link x oc #link fanfic #link x reader

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conversationswithmybipolarchild · 5 years

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#2: WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER?

FELICITY: Bipolar disorder is a mental illness. Key word one: “illness,” meaning you are afflicted with it. Key word two: “mental,” it being a part of the brain.

F: Mental health is as important as physical health. They are both very important, they go hand in hand. Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Whether or not it comes upon you after a traumatic event, or when puberty hits, or if it- if you show signs when you’re born, it doesn’t matter. it is all a chemical imbalance.

F: You are born with it, no matter what. You can go...twenty five years without seeing any symptoms, simply because you never had anything to jumpstart your bipolar disorder. But, if you have bipolar disorder, were properly diagnosed with it...you were already born with it. It was already in your brain.

F: Bipolar disorder is categorized by highs and lows in your mood. That’s why it’s called a mood disorder [edit: it can also be called a psychotic disorder]. Not just simple, everyday highs and lows like everybody has, it’s not just “oh, I feel sad today, it’s not just, “oh, I have a lot of energy.” It’s extreme.

ANJA: That’s why they’re called poles. That’s why it’s bipolar disorder

F: Yes, it’s the two poles, the high and the low.

A: The mania and the depression.

F: So mania, is when you...[trails off]...

A: It’s the high.

F: It’s the high. Mania is the high, that means you have a lot of energy, you are very impulsive, can have a lot of aggression, rage, risky thoughts, risky behaviors.

A: Racing thoughts.

F: Racing thoughts, absolutely. Nightmares, hallucinations, hypersexuality, violence, paranoia...

A: Also, I don’t think this is an official symptom, but coming from myself and a lot of other bipolar people, you get this feeling where you’re like, crawling in your own skin.

F: Yeah. Definitely. I hear that one a lot.

F: So, symptoms of a depressive episode is that you...well, you are depressed. Not just kinda sad, you feel really, really, down. When I’m depressed, and I have major depressive disorder, when I’m depressed I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to take a shower. I don’t want to get dressed, I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to be anything.

A: There’s no motivation whatsoever.

F: No motivation whatsoever.

A: I don’t get depressive episodes very often because I have bipolar I, and I get manic more than I do depressed. I don’t really- I don’t have to worry about depression, unless I like, unless I have no stimulation in my everyday life.

F: You have to stay busy in order to not get depressed. I’m the same way. If I don’t want to sit in that pit, I have to stay busy all the time. That’s why I’m constantly going, and going, and going, and doing, because if I just sit for more than a couple days, I’m in that pit and I don’t feel good.

F: So, another symptom, another result, of bipolar disorder, is uh, suicide. There is a hefty suicide rate among bipolar people. That is- that is the worst part. And as a parent of a bipolar child, knowing the statistics around bipolar disorder and suicide, it’s enough to kickstart me into a depression. It is- it worries me.

A: The, um, I’m not gonna say the only reason, but it is one of the biggest reasons why I didn’t try to kill myself when I was younger, was because I’m so afraid of death. Maybe not death, but what happens after it.

F: To tell you the truth, me too. It absolutely terrifies me.

F: So, some statistics from the NIMH, claim that 2.9% of thirteen to eighteen year olds have bipolar disorder, and eighty one percent of those kids have it severe. It’s bad enough to be hospitalized, and make their life really difficult.

F: So I was reading earlier...about bipolar disorder, and someone asked the question, “can someone with bipolar disorder live a normal life?” And it says here, “people with bipolar disorder usually go ten years before being accurately diagnosed. Treatment can make a huge difference. It is a chronic health condition that needs lifetime management. Plenty of people with this condition do well, they have families and jobs and live normal lives.” So that ought to give you a little hope for the future.

F: That’s...that’s the other thing. Meds...they are- in my opinion, they are a must. It’s beyond me how people aren’t medicated.

A: I think it’s really funny how, um, how after I was diagnosed bipolar, the last thing you wanted me to do was be on meds. Now, we depend on it. We have to. There’s no choice.

F: As you were growing up and you were being misdiagnosed all over the place, meds were the last thing on my mind. We tried every single thing else. We tried discipline, rewards, I tried diet changes, we tried all sorts of therapy, I tried changing the way that I parent! And none of it worked.

A: Because you can’t just change those chemicals. Without medication.

F: You can’t! Exactly. You can’t change those chemicals. Absolutely. I’m the same way with mine, my MDD. It doesn’t fix itself. I need medication to give me the right chemicals. To balance those chemicals in my brain. That is a must.

F: So, we’ve talked about what bipolar is, now let’s talk about what it is not. It’s not learned. It’s not a discipline problem. It’s not something that you can beat out of a child, teach out of a child, train out of a child, It’s not something that’s going to go away. And it’s not something that’s just going to one day change. It’s an ever evolving illness...

A: But it’s always there.

F: But it’s always there. And unless you’re treating it with therapy and medication, you’re fighting a losing battle.

A: Chronic is the key word.

F: Chronic is the key word. Bipolar disorder is a chronic illness.

A: Which, that really scares me. Because I’ll have to live with this for the rest of my life.

F: Let me tell you something. I’ve described severe depression as rain. Imagine you have to go out in the rain. And you have to change the tires on your car, you have to check your mail, you have to walk your dog, you have to go to work. You have to hoe your garden, mow your lawn. Daily things, but you have to do them in the rain. That’s what my brain is like every single day. I will always live doing everything in the rain. And that’s a daunting thing to think about.

F: I can still do all those daily activities, but you know how when you go in the rain, everything’s just harder? And you’re just slightly more miserable doing them? That’s what it’s like with MDD, I’m constantly having to force myself to do things. And when I do them, I’m miserable. It’s harder for me. It’s harder for me to go take a shower than it is for other people. It’s harder for me to do things because it’s like when you’re out in the rain, everything’s just that much harder.

A: It’s like- I’ve said it before- but it’s like when you do anything, it would be much easier for a neurotypical person.

F: It is much easier for a neurotypical person. They’re not fighting chemicals in their brain.

A: They’re not fighting their own mind on a daily basis.

F: Yeah! And I know that’s exhausting. I know your brain is tired. I know you’re tired. I know you are. But you can’t really think about it that way, because then you’ll get overwhelmed. I can’t think about how I will never not be in the rain. I can’t think about it...because that’s just gonna throw me back in that pit. And I can’t live my life, raise my kids, and take care of everything I need to take care of..if I’m in that pit.

A: And it’s okay to be miserable. It’s okay to rest.

F: As long as you don’t give up. I like Kevin Hines’s hashtag, #beheretomorrow. Today might not have been the best day, but as long as you’re here tomorrow, that’s what matters.

F: Let’s touch on what bipolar disorder means for you- for us. What does bipolar disorder mean for you?

A: I really hate to say this but...bipolar disorder is a part of me. And I can’t change that. I mean, sometimes I really wish I didn’t have bipolar disorder, but I don’t know what I would be without it.

F: Absolutely. I completely agree with you. I feel the same way about myself. I don’t know who I would be. I don’t know who my father would have been, who my grandmother would have been, without mental illness.

F: While I understand your sentiment, I think that because you’re medicated, and nobody else was, you are more you.

A: And less bipolar disorder.

F: Yes! Exactly. When you were eight years old and running away and acting out, being violent and raging, I didn’t know who you were! I couldn’t buy you gifts, I didn’t know what you liked. I didn’t know your personality...all I knew was this child I couldn’t connect with. All I knew was this child that absolutely hated me.

A: I was mostly bipolar disorder.

F: One of the more prominent symptoms that you had was lack of motivation. Smartest kid ever, bad grades. It’s not that you didn’t know the work, you just didn’t turn stuff in. Soon as we got you on medication, that mostly changed.

F: Super energy.

A: Aggressive. Frustrated.

F: Violent. Raging. Yeah, those were scary times.

A: I had anger issues.

F: A lot. Yeah. You couldn’t focus on anything. I know a lot of that are symptoms of ADHD.

A: Which is why I got misdiagnosed.

F: But its the hallucinations and the nightmares that sealed the deal. That turned things around. When we brought those up, it turned things around. That’s when the term “bipolar” came into play, and it fit. It fit you.

F: I know that some of the symptoms in my family, that are or were mentally ill, were definitely instability. Never being able to stay put. Not being consistent. Inconsistency was huge.

A: Even me, now, medicated, I can’t stay on the same routine or the same surroundings for more than a month. I have to change something about my life, whether it be my room, or, hell, my Tumblr blog. There has to be something that changes.

F: I agree. I’m the same way. I get very bored very easily.

F: Money! Money was a huge problem when I was growing up. You know, nobody could save. They would spend wildly.

A: Money? You mean lack of!

F: Yeah. It was impulsive spending. That’s one of the bigger symptoms of bipolar disorder in adults. Impulsive spending. That was a huge one when I was growing up.

F: My family was never very affectionate. They were always very distant.

A: I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t affectionate.

F: Well, that’s the whole reason I am affectionate, is because I was starved as a child. I needed affection and I never got it. So, it was super important to me that I be an affectionate parent. I don’t know what I would do if I wasn’t affectionate either, because I thrive on being close to you guys. And I don’t want to raise you in the same situation. In an angry, distant, impulsive, unstable situation. I don’t want to raise you that way.

F: So, what did we learn today?

F: That it’s a little scary.

A: It’s scary.

F: But it can be managed.

A: It can be managed.

F: And you’re doing a fantastic job. And I’m doing a fantastic job, and your team is doing a fantastic job.

F: Do you remember the time we were standing outside Old Navy and you told me you wanted to buy a gun?

[blank stare]

#bipolar disorder #actuallybipolar #actuallybd #actuallybp #children's mental health #pediatric mental health #mental health #mental health awareness #mental illness

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torturedwarrior · 4 years

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My Story Dealing with Mental Illnesses:

When I was 14 years old I began to lose family members and my dog who was my best friend and I kept losing people and my animals. I felt like my life was in chaos and I picked up a knife and started cutting myself to see if I can still feel because I felt empty and numb. My mom took me to see a therapist and at first I did not open up because I did not want to burden anyone with my problems and also I did not know this person. slowly but surely I started talking and was then diagnosed with Depression and was put on meds. With this Depression I felt Hopeless, I noticed I lost interest in what I once enjoyed, I felt fatigue and had trouble sleeping, began feeling anxious a lot, and my eating habits changed; loss of appetite, I had uncontrollable emotions and had a hard time controlling them, and I even thought about suicide. When I was 14 to 15 years old I actually attempted suicide and was then committed to a mental health hospital as an out-patient and it was okay and I learned a lot when I was there. Then the next year I tried again and this time I was committed as an in-patient for a week and a half; which I did not like but I meet nice people who where in there too which made it bearable. I bounced around from therapist to therapist because either they left and I got a therapist who made me feel worse or I did not like. I am 24 years old and Am diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, OCD, and Bipolar 1. It is difficult managing all of these mental illnesses, I feel tired all the time, I have no energy most days and it affects my mood and family as well as my Fiancé. Major Depression is a mood disorder that affects the way you feel about life in general. having a hopeless or helpless outlook on your life is the most common symptom. Other feelings may be worthlessness, self-hate, or inappropriate guilt. you have recurring thoughts of depression which is vocalized as "It's all my fault", or "What's the point". Anxiety is a worry about future events, and fear is a reaction to current events. These feelings may cause physical symptoms, such as a fast heart rate and shakiness. For me having anxiety is a struggle, I feel tingles in my face and body, I can feel my heart beat fast like a million miles, begin to hyperventilate and my chest starts to feel tight like someone is sitting on my chest and wont get up. PTSD is no fun either, I had a traumatizing event happen not once but twice that caused my PTSD and also a traumatizing event when I was nine that still haunts me till this day as well as my other events. My dad was a drunk and there were times I thought he was dead then one day he was wasted and he sat down next to me and started to tell me what happened when he was in the Navy and what he witnessed and what he had to do and it was not something you should tell a nine year old and the worse part is he does not remember telling me. PTSD is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury, or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world. sometimes I have repeated involuntary memories of the events, distressing dreams; or flashbacks, I have negative thoughts and feelings like "No one can be trusted" or "I am bad", "It is my fault". I feel irritable and angry outbursts and being self-destructive. OCD is a brain and behavior disorder that is categorized as an anxiety disorder in the DSM-IV. It causes severe anxiety in those affected and involves both obsessions and compulsions that interfere with daily life. Having persistent thoughts, Ideas, impulses, or images that are experienced as intrusive and inappropriate and cause marked anxiety or even distress. With OCD I noticed that I have to look at the clock multiple times a day or I freak out, I have to do things a certain way or I freak out, and have to put my socks on a certain way or it does not feel right. Lastly Bipolar 1 Disorder; a person who is affected by bipolar 1 has had at leas one manic episode in his or her life. A manic episode is a period of abnormally elevated mood and high energy, accompanied by abnormal behavior that disrupts life. Manic episode can have a person feeling like "Feeling high" or as irritability. Sometimes I feel increased energy, with hyperactivity and a decreased need for sleep, need to have sex all the time and even substances abuse. Then I feel depressed which is known as a low episode. sometimes my manic episode lasts for a day then I feel depressed for a week or two. I feel loss of pleasure, low energy, and activity, feeling guilty, or worthlessness and sometimes even thought of suicide. The good thing is I am taking medication for all of my mental illnesses. I am currently taking Bupropion aka Wellbutrin 150 MG, Escitalopram 10 MG, Gabapentin 600 MG, and Olanzapine 10 MG. The meds I am taking are helping to manage my mental illnesses but I also use my coping skills that I have learned that also helps like journaling, writing poetry, blogs and listening to music. I have come a long way from a year ago. I was fighting with everyone about my treatment and I did not want to get better if I am being honest but then something clicked and I started thinking how I do not want to feel like being in chaos anymore and I started to put my coping skills to work and working hard to manage my moods. I have multiple journals for different ways to keep track of my diagnoses. Some days I still have a bad day but knowing that it will eventually pass helps me get through it. I have created a group on Facebook for people who suffer from mental illnesses who need a friend, need advice or help with coping and even just someone who needs to talk. I like helping others it makes me feel good about myself. I want to go back to school when I get my life and Mental Illnesses under control and become a therapist and help others who actually need help. Easier said then done though it will be a hard road but I know if I put my mind to it I will conquer anything as my mother would always tell me. It is a constant battle with yourself everyday to stay some kind of normal and not be in chaos.

Blackstar :)

#depression #anxeity #living with ocd #ptsd #bipolar1 #mental health #mental heath support #mental freedom #blog post #needfriendslol👌

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gg-astrology · 5 years

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What do you suggest for those who are beginners in astrology? Like how can they improve their learnings more?

Hey there!! 💞💞💞💞 Aaah what a great question!! 💞💞 Thanks so much for asking and giving me opportunity to talk about it!!!! 💞💞This can probably apply to ppl who aren’t beginner-beginner too?? 💞💞It might be good for?? content creators?? as well?? Maybe?? 💞💞

Tips for learning/progressing into astro (maybe??) 🌟

Check the ‘astro asks masterlist’ for stuff on jus… learning astro?? this also for astro, but more/extended??? something you might wanna hear if you’ve been feeling down/demotivated lately or jus need a lil pick me up/kick in the bum – for general stuff, community, things we can do/things we should guard, etc 💞

🚫long post 🚫

Keep an open mind? 💞 It’s easy to get swept up in something/join a set of mentality/believe it’s right because it’s there and people believe it or you have experience™️ that ‘justify’ the thing (‘its what i see so it’s what i believe/know’) Do your research, don’t categorize/group things together, learn to dissect and differentiate. Try not to be prejudice/keep an open heart and mind (it’s not that hard to do, you just gotta ‘check’ yourself for it) 💞💞

What you’re exposed to influences your take on subjects/topics, so be discerning and critical that you aren’t grouping things together or taking it as it is. Learning isn’t just about?? our senses right?? So combine it together (balance it out) and try not to close your opinion/guard yourself up alright (mind v senses v heart v doing stuff v learning things and retaining knowledge)? 💞

There’ll be interpretation that connects with you and those you just ‘take’ as ‘I don’t get it but it seems right’ – make sure to find out why you don’t get it. It’s a hint that there’s a reasoning/way to explain it that rings closer to you. You might be a person who understands certain things explained a certain way, you might not.

Figure out a way to resonate with the hypothesis, because then you understand it and you’re on top of how to interpret it.

If someone proposes a limitation or different interpretation for it, you can adjust and learn how to incorporate it into your understanding better as well (because you get it, you understand it. It’s personal to you now – we have 12 signs in our chart it’s just a matter of connecting that knowledge together and knowing what it means as well) 💞

Find your own way of saying what you mean. Nothing is stagnant as it seems, it’s always like a little buoy in the middle of the sea when it comes to certain subject make sure to express that out and measure where you are on that sea-level as well.

Support others, or at least try not to be a dick to them over things 💞 This is also in-line with reaching out to others and not trying to go through shit alone 💞 How does this relate to learning astro? We might not think we need people but wow does it help a hell lot (and also we do need people?? that’s a– thing?? astrology vs astronomy)💞

Have a good connective system, mutuals, friends. Be open to people and treat others the way you want to be treated 💞 Have someone to support you, catch you out on your shit or help you re-think/brainstorm the way you handle or react to stuff (buddy-system it if you can) 💞

Knowing that someone can give you a second glimpse, double-check and wishes well for you/is in your corner helps tremendously even though logically we might not ‘need it’ (if you don’t want a ‘study buddy’ or ‘group study’ then that’s perfectly ok??💞💞 jus make sure you have someone supportive of you and your interests, people who won’t tear you down if you manifest yourself??

Reach out to others, it helps. But don’t use them for resource?? that’s just– a shitty thing to do with people if you don’t want to have a genuine interaction with them.💞

You’d be surprised at how many people we might hold dear might tear you down?? Don’t wanna scare you so you can skip if you want. But whether they do it consciously or not, make sure to find and genuinely appreciate the things you’re doing, the way you work/think.

If you’re the person who others appreciate the way you work/think/what you’re doing— make sure you aren’t tearing others down. This is a thing?? Whether you’re doing it unconsciously or if you start going ‘maybe I can do this better than them, maybe I can grow/get more appreciated’ — don’t. It’s that kind of egoistical arrogance that’s going to hurt others/your friend.

You’re not supporting, you’re using them. Even if you think you’re bubbling well on your own/minding your own business (there’s a time/place for that)– it’s still a community of people you’re influencing.

Try to be socially responsible, it’s not that bad and it is something you’d rather be safe than sorry about y know (being well-informed socially and using that for the better?)💞

Learn how to appreciate and support, how to let people thrive. Learn how to ‘check’ yourself and stop acting out of your own fears/lashing out onto others as well. Most of the time it’s your own experience (or insecurities) that’s making you push others down like that. You’re going to lose more friends and opportunity if you keep doing it– so make sure to get some motivation, some support (if you need that), use your voice in the community well as well.

Brings us back to the point earlier: treat others the way you treat yourself, if others treat you with appreciation and compliment – give the same energy back?? 💞 Learning astro also depends on the community too right? So how do you want to be treated within the community/how do you treat the community?

It’s not just knowledge, it’s also self-growth. If we want to have self-love/care/help/growth, we gotta learn how to act harmoniously with others as well. Nothing ‘self’ related is ever truly done with just ourselves, it’s how we invest, how we treat others and how others treat us (keep trying even if you fall, keep trying. We got trump but we’re still trying, right? Stop giving up hope.)

Learn how to navigate it, instead of trying to fight it (putting the self first or others first//imbalance) Act with consciousness, the more you’re aware of how you behave/react the more you can learn how to be emotionally intelligent and socially active as well 💞

Your best resources are the people around you as well, sometimes it’s not just books or what you read online. How people conduct, react, how they insert themselves into the narrative/your life will influence what you think about them and how they think about you.

Try to realize that we are bias, because we’re essentially human. Even when we look at things ‘detached from the ego’/well-reasoned we’re still human. No matter how unbiased/knowledgeable we think/know we are, we can’t escape the inevitable nature of our species. So the most we can do is try to keep it together ok and try to be considerate/nice (learn to let others love you/love others, is sometimes harder than learning how to ‘love yourself’)💞

If you’re more of the traditional astrologer type (heavy learning and theory, history, really fun and exciting!) — people are appreciative of things, old or new, it never hurts to keep an open-mind about stuff 💞

Some might not even realize it’s an option, and while people might be (everyone) ‘well thats our/their fault they should’ve researched’ – it’s good to consider that sometimes our modern day life doesn’t always open certain doors up to us all at the same time (we all learn different things at a different time/place in our lives) – so make room for yourself to be curious and to grow, don’t stay stagnant in what you already know and is trying to ‘perfect’ (bc perfection is always improved, more and more as we gain more time/age/perspective as well)💞

Theres always room to grow, there’s always room to learn more. But realizing that you’re over-stepping boundaries and making other people uncomfortable with your interpretation is also a thing.It’s?? something we should consider 💞

Just try to be considerate of others, and be aware of how much you insert/hold yourself back, how you conduct yourself and what your influence does to others as well 💞 Have people you talk to, who can lift you up and encourage you because you deserve it (make sure they’re ok with that too and try not to pile it onto one person ok?) 💞

Don’t stop trying 💞

Low-key that’s kinda like how we behave with politics? Either we ‘dont care either way’ (which is shit for the community/direction we’re going), cares only for the self/personal gain (cough *the 1%* cough), is well-informed and feels shitty about the situation we’re in right now (depressed, suffering, either protesting or lies in bed thinking about giving up) or is just… y know, HOPEFUL but also angry and wanting to be proud of our community and ourselves (prosper/thrive stuff like that) 💞💞

Try to be socially conscious, if you’re down/drained, look out for your happiness/your own health first (pls care for your own health/well-being) 💞 For me, finding a buddy or supportive mutual works. I can’t invest time into everybody but those who I have genuine connections with, I try to keep up as much as tumblr messaging app would tell me I have a notification (it doesn’t sometimes) 💞💞

Tips maybe more specific for beginners/intermediate?? 💞

(might be more relevant? But I’m not sure what type of beginner we are because there’s– a few? But this is the main bulk so maybe give this a read even if you’re not a beginner too)

Premise: Everything below this is after the assumption that we allread up stuff, study about the subject, research things already and is starting somewhere/in the process of starting (already interested in astro)

*I wasn’t thinking about complete COMPLETE beginner who mayhaps might’ve just discovered there’s things beyond the sun-sign (for those that are💞: im sorry ;; I think there’s a post for that too somewhere on my blog maybe skdjnk 💞)

So for those who are beginner astro: Practice 💞Can’t emphasize this enough 💞 We might be self-conscious about our skills, but your biggest critic is yourself and your ego/mood (or lack of it)? 💞Just try practicing it 💞

Theoretical knowledge might get you somewhere, but we also need to know how to apply them 💞 Try to figure out how to read/interpret as you go 💞Sometimes people are like ‘uh oh, red flag. You can’t just let any lunatics out there.’ So this is out of the assumptions that you’ve been a very very theory based person (read a lot of stuff) but haven’t got the time/energy/motivation to start yet.

Balance comes from steady progress in both, so if you dove head deep into doing something. Do your research. If you did research, start working. This is a lab exercise and the more you waste time the more you don’t know how to time-manage yourself into doing both (theory and practical).

We improve when we learn how we work/what we need to work on along the way, but making sure you have substance in both is good for you (so you don’t fuck up the lab exercise and waste your time) 💞

Test yourself and your knowledge? 💞 Find your niche, what you’re interested in 💞 What you might want to figure out or contribute with? 💞 Having a sense of purpose, or having a friend help you check you or hype you up (support you) really helps with motivation 💞

Dont be afraid to ask for encouragement, don’t be too prideful or overthink it too much, we all need that especially when we’re starting out – it can be lonely on your own and even if you can handle it, try to not put that weight on yourself?💞

Jus reach out for people who can give you the time/energy, and help support each other up 💞 It’s much better than being by yourself or feeling shitty about what you do alone. Can’t stress this enough, what’s the point of having a community if you’re going to use them for resources but feels so alienated/alone and like things are passing you by (not feeling knowledgeable enough/forgetting stuff because you don’t hold yourself accountable for applying/putting it out there somewhere so you can ‘practice’ it really)

It also helps with retaining knowledge and intuition, realizing that the things we’re learning are not stagnant and neither should our learning interpretations/methods (we’re all learning as we go so don’t feel bad about contributing or look down on yourself/your knowledge ok?)💞

You learn more if you follow the guides but use that as a jumping board, things are fluid but there are a few certain rules 💞 Don’t feel intimidated by them, find what interests you and research it because you want to (not because you need to in order to be have ‘complete/fair knowledge’ on the subject) 💞

Figure out a way that’s uniquely you, that you can find purpose to and explain it in your own way 💞 We’re talking about the same thing, we’re just doing it in a different way/choosing different parts of the same topic to talk about with each other (sharing is caring, but remember to like..diary entry it out? Sometimes if you push something onto others it can be like uuuuuuh?? cause no one really interprets the same way as each other) 💞💞

Remember that where-ever you are on the spectrum (beginner, intermediate, whatever) it’s not like– a ‘conclusive’ subject. It’s not like we can know all there is to know about something and that’s the be all end all in it.

That’s why we practice as we go, because we always think:

‘If I know a little bit more/feel more stable with my knowledge then I can start interpreting’ — there’s no ‘end’ to the knowledge, you keep learning as you go 💞

What matters is you sharpen yourself and narrow it down to what matters to you, that you yourself progress and grow as an astrologer/person 💞Try practicing as you go otherwise you’ll feel self-conscious about yourself/your own ability forever?? 💞💞💞

Most of the time, we only know what we perceive/interpret 💞While we can look at others and be like ‘wow! fantastic’ at what they do, that doesn’t discredit how you interpret or what you want to talk about💞

Share, contribute, we’re all talking about the same thing just different parts of it 💞Your voice matters, and what you bring to the table even if you think you’re repetitive or being redundant it matters 💞

No one is essentially the ‘boss’ of a subject 💞We’re so scared of criticism when we first begin, even constructive ones are feared too 💞

Closing ourselves down emotionally or detaching the ego from your work doesn’t always help (esp in term of compassion/what you want to produce/contribute or help others with) – learning how to be your own cheerleader does (*be aware of your social influence, how you affect others and what you say as well tho!) 💞

Learning how to grow, have a support system, how to accept emotional hurt instead of deny it or glide past it helps 💞 ‘it aint that deep’ but it is personal and healing to some people, it can be an emotional thing 💞

Don’t dismiss that, learn how to feel comfortable with what you do, check that the way you come across or the way you want the information to contribute is actually having an impact you want 💞

Think of it as growing, editing and manifesting yourself to be the best person? 💞 You’re essentially trying to discover you or have a voice 💞 Whether its in the community or on the subject, learning how you come across on the topic — receiving compliments, criticism– letting it help you and take what you need from it, 💞 Let it help you grow and experience things, discover and learn more about yourself as you do 💞

It’s more than just the subject right? 💞It’s the experience of learning and progressing with your knowledge/ability as well, what it takes to get comfortable/stable enough and to be efficient with it 💞

It’s figuring yourself out 💞 Like learning art, you figure out your own style what you want to do and you have different characteristics from each other 💞 It’s a constant learning progress 💞 So it’s not like, a completely different learning process than art (you can see your progress, no one stays the same when you practice– you’re not the same ‘artist’ or create the same ‘art style’ that you have when you started, with astrology it’s a similar thing– not completely the same but similar)

For beginners, knowing that you yourself is holding you back from doing stuff, starting stuff or criticizing yourself because you’re scared others going to criticize you (and beat down your confidence/happiness/ego) is something we’re going to have to tackle 💞Self-imposed fear, constant watching our back or just being afraid to share (procrastination/putting it off until later) is what’s stopping you the most. 💞

Do something right now, post something. Even if it’s small. It’s a start and it makes a huge difference (what you envision for yourself, how you want to contribute/manifest, what kind of person you want to be– if you’re more of the type to think about your ‘purpose’ as well)

Getting into the habit of doing something because it feels like a relief, like you’re expressing your own knowledge. Like you have more voice or is just confidence in something. Helps. 💞

Even if no one sees it (which is probably what all beginners are praying for skdjn) even if someone yells at you (fear conjured by our own anxiety and wariness of the cancel culture??) you find your own footing and you know your own path. You figure out what you want to do from there because you know you and you know how to write stuff for yourself, alright? 💞

I think for complete beginners getting over this initial fear is hard, like the hardest thing because we might feel we’re essentially ‘putting ourselves out/up there for criticism’ – it’s easy to be cynical/closed-off, it’s harder to be confident/content with ourselves. Learning how to do this for you, to say it with your own voice. The astro community is vast, if your voice isn’t someone’s cuppa tea then they’ll leave? If they like your opinion/want to hear you clarify more, they’ll ask? 💞

Treat others the way you want to be treated?? 💞 That’s the best advice I can give you if you don’t want to deal with what you fear?? How you talk about stuff, what you say and what kind of people you’re talking about matters. If you talk more shit than you actually give back, then you’re going to attract more shit to you as well? It’s in how we conduct ourselves and how we figure us out (*for how to help ourselves, sometimes shit happens and sometimes it’s hard to get over a past experience or let prejudice color our lens) 💞

We grow and learn, and sometimes we’re embarrassed by our past behaviors– so make sure you’re looking out for your future self as well 💞

Sometimes our fears and ‘ill do it later’ is bigger than our happiness and actual knowledge. You undermine yourself, and your own mind and paranoia is sometimes your biggest foe 💞

Who’s the one who double checks everything they write? Who’s the one who doesn’t carelessly make up a post because they don’t like getting backlash? It’s you. You’re your biggest editor but also your biggest push back, learn how to be spontaneous and do things now 💞

Mmmm another thing that might be hard for beginners, but will help them a lot is ‘jumping off’ things (applying knowledge). People like interesting posts right? We like things that are beyond the basics, because we know the basics. That’s the guidelines, and sometimes we look back and see interesting posts there too! 💞

But the point is, you gotta learn how to find your own voice and make posts that personally interests you? 💞 Posts that makes you invested, that makes you feel personal. Posts that gets you to self-express your voice 💞

Applying knowledge isn’t hard, you can do astro-notes for yourself and that’s a pretty efficient and productive start already? 💞 Finding your own methods or what kind of things you want to talk/post about helps too 💞

Doing things for yourself generally helps alot because it’s there to add to your own voice, your own observation and knowledge in something beyond just theoretical. It’s also there to share and contribute with others 💞 The more you notice, the more you learn how to apply 💞

More and more, you learn how to grasps not working so point by point (I’m learning this and then I’ll go learn that) but how to weave them together and how they differentiate? 💞 That’s where you wanna be at right? Where you can talk about some astro philosophy and re-work how you think/interpretate/learn stuff and share that with others as well 💞

Anyways, those are just things that might help. To keep in mind? Just do stuff. Like do things. That’s how you find support and learn about yourself. You’re never not going to like ‘you’ when you start doing something (like going to a dance class for the first time, trying out something you like. You might be nervous/hyper-aware but you come out knowing where you stand with the idea of it continuing)– you’re going to look at yourself and want to edit more and more. So make sure you start, so you can actually do something with it too! 💞

ALSO TO NOTE: Try not to be prejudice. This is an icky subject especially with serious traumas, victims who has their own mind-prison (*is in therapy or need it to help with past experiences) we’re all biased, we said that. For those who are in therapy (experiences that has happened in the past) – work on you, we’re here for you. Take your time, it’s good to even be aware of certain trigger points. Please take care of yourself first 💞

For those who are?? less serious?? honestly it’s jus a fun thing like you can joke but you can also be serious just– if you come to me I’m always gonna be like ‘hey its ok’ and?? jus?? talk about their traits and stuff?? 💞💞

That’s some?? Tips for beginners I think?? 💞💞 I hope it’s useful?? 💞💞💞

#astrology asks #content creators #kpop astrology #bts astrology #svt astrology #seventeen astrology #bangtan astrology #anyways mayhaps this will help #writing #astrolohoee #asks

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jainarden-blog · 5 years

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A Little Bit Of Organization Wouldn’t Hurt A Bit

Today is a searching and researching online day for an end to the endless clutter I have lived with FOREVER! I am so ready to clear the decks both physically/mentally and offline/online and get to some #extremeproductivity.

This is going to involve a lot of thinking and a lot of trying out things to streamline it into this no-fluff ecosystem I am dreaming about, even as I am typing this. A big part of this is to go paperless and also to start using my IOS phone a lot more. The below may seem like a lot of places but the object of my game is to have places to put things where I can go back and retrieve them. My mind and life goes so fast a lot of the time that the clutter, even when it is just mental has a tendency to pile up and to overwhelm me. By clearing physical mess (most importantly paper) and mental overflow, I can create the space I need to be the best me. Two big goals are time to do online study and being fit mind and body.

Read on for tools and thoughts about them:

Tumblr - Reasons for Tumblr: braindumps, writing habit, connection my introvert heart desires at times, and ease of use. Tumblr is good just to write or to spend time reading. I find a lot of the people on Tumblr are pretty deep, creative and wildly entertaining. Tumblr is a good place for introverts.

Saved.io - to try and curb the worthless habit of saving fifty trillion bookmarks and adding to them daily without ever really delving into those websites or using them. No extensions for this. You just add saved.io after the http:// or https:// and to make folder (tags/labels) put a name in front of .saved.io. Super easy. Sign up for an account and have an online spot for bookmarking your heart out

Google Keep - I need something to take down my own thoughts in a browser as I am surfing/researching and do not want to make a big deal out of it. There is a Chrome extension or you can right-click to add notes with tags. Braindumps and a place to satisfy data pack-rat urges. Follows the line of thinking that I am using Google for a lot of things and it’s already there anyway.

Google Calendar - I have multiple Google accounts but one where all my emails and appointments go. I synced this as my main calendar on IOS instead of the default calendar. One calendar to rule them all! Same for the one gmail. There is also an extension to add events quickly, along with the right click option.

Feedbro - RSS feed reader - too bad Google did away with theirs. This takes away some bookmarks for favorite sites/blogs and gives me an easy and fast way to know that I am keeping up with things that are important to me. Clicking the extension lets you “Find feeds on this page,” save feeds and also to open up your feedreader. Feeds can be categorized into folders.

LastPass - I have used this for years on my computers. It is the best password keeper as far as I am concerned. AND FREE! Today, I put it on my phone. I cannot say enough about how great this tool is for your information.

Scanbot - app for scanning in documents by taking a pic of them. This will definitely come in handy for those on-the-go document situations. Things like bills, manuals, purchase papers, etc. I have at home will, most of the time, be scanned in using my printer’s scanner.

Bullet Journal (BuJo) - my offline to-do / to-did and short journal things. I have one for me and one for my computer. The one for my computer has already saved me this year when I was trying to figure out what program was conflicting with another. My memory was helped by my documentation on what programs I had downloaded and when. I also document computer problems: what happened and what helped. Everything in one book - I think everyone should have one of these and I am surprised I never thought of it before this year. My personal BuJo is not one of internet proportions. I tried that and failed miserably and lost all site of what the book was supposed to be for to begin with. I ditched the trying to make it pretty and doing weekly/monthly spreads. I am back to the original version that Carroll Ryder set forth with his inspiration and am a thousand times better for it. This is something I can hold in my hands and look back on from time to time to see exactly how my time on earth went.

SimpleNote - I have a Reminder label in this for to-do’s, but I mostly just write to-do’s on the calendar or on a post-it/index card to throw away. I also document to-do/to-did’s in my personal BuJo. No this program is going to be something I use for some time, I do believe. I decided I am going to document work with this, especially conversations. I never remember the specifics in time so this will be my second work brain. Tags will be people (initials, first name, or my nickname for them). I can then go back to specific conversations that I want to refresh myself on and also for people notes such as date of birth, family (kid/husband/wife name), and/or specific things about them. Also, dates of meetings, project dates,etc. This is in its infancy - I have high hopes for this going forward.

AirTable - This website/app has high potential. I really like that it is set up like an Excel spreadsheet. I have projects set up in it for tracking daily spending, pantry inventory, gifts, etc. etc. etc. This is so customizable!!!! In my pantry list, I can add columns to be able to know what my lowest price on an item was - so in essence, a pantry checker with a price book included. I figure the way I use it will grow as I get used to it and find its value.

mySymptoms - $$ App for tracking your health. This is the one thing I paid for. I can’t wait to get enough stuff in it for a good PDF download. It is customizable to you, just like the AirTable. You can add/delete the things you want to track and there is a big list of them: drinks, food, medications, supplements, mood, symptoms, bowel, energy, sleep, stress, exercise, environment, and other. Some of these can be extra helpful for people who struggle with certain diseases or triggers. This is certainly a make-it-all-about-you app that can show correlations between a factor(s) causing another factor(s). Or even for people who forget when or how long they took medications or supplements. In my new found goal of creating a life that serves my health - this one is a winning part of it. I will be a participant in my healthcare.

Instagram - because, at times, I like to take photos of food and things I see that I like. And because, I hate Facebook. IG also gives me an easy way to change the way the photos look and share back to myself for other uses and ways to share my account online with my online people-ha. Braindump for photos.

Twitter - because it’s fun... and sometimes informative. Twitter is the quick connection to the rest of the world and let’s anyone fit into it. My favorite parts of the twit are hashtag and whatever “new episode” tv show I am watching. It’s fun to join in with whatever other people think of an episode and throw your two cents in too. I never feel like I am sitting at my house alone on Friday & Saturday nights with #livepd. With the added gifs on posts, it can get quite hilarious.

GoodReads - This is hooked up to my Amazon account and my Amazon account is hooked up to my local library account through Overdrive. So... free books. I read every night on my Kindle app (you can read in your browser too). The books are automatically added to my GoodReads account. At this time, I am 8 books ahead on my goal to read 100 books this year.

Listal - As for movies, the best site I have found is Listal. You can tag, star and make lists for the movies/tv you watch (along with books, products, people, dvds, and games, if you wish). Many members do a Halloween movie list each year.

Pinterest - this place fulfills my yearnings to save a million quotes, presented in a pretty way and is the easiest way to make kick ass vision boards. I have multiple boards for this very thing: HouseVB, ClothesVB, ThingsVB and so on.

This is the big starting out list. I didn’t want to leave anything out because I need to be clear on what I am really using and be consistent on what accounts I use for what services. Pinterest may be a big black hole, but once set up with mostly productive boards, I can relax knowing that they are helping me visualize the things I want while also letting me do something that is fun (even if sometimes just losing time surfing the internet).The same with Twitter and Instagram. They are black holes for time. But this way they are serving a purpose of entertainment and braindumps to clear the way for good space in my life. I will follow up with this as being productive online is both an important topic for me and also a much needed topic discussion. In my research, I wish more people would post about their systems to help the rest of us out :D

#OCD #clutter #paperless #organize

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urdadsdadsdad-blog · 5 years

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Research Question 5- What can be done to prevent runaway children?

Taken directly from https://www.1800runaway.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/CWLA-article.pdf

Some tips to better connect with a child to prevent running away

Pay Attention. Listen when your child is talking with you; don’t feign interest while you are watching television, reading the paper, or using the computer. Children know the difference.

Discuss Feelings. When parents share their feelings, children know it is safe to share their own. Talk about what it feels like to be a parent and encourage your child to talk about his or her feelings.

Create Responsibility. Give your child choices, not orders. Help them understand the consequences of their actions. When punishments need to be administered, ask what they think would be appropriate. Make sure the punishment fits the “crime” and it is consistent with other actions you have taken.

Understand Your Child. Try to sympathize with what your children are going through. Look at life, at least occasionally, from their point of view. Remember that when you were their age, your ideas seemed to make sense

Some signs in behavior that might indicate that something is wrong

Accumulation of money and possessions. To survive, runaways need money and resources. Some runaways prepare for their run by slowly withdrawing cash from

Disclosure of intentions to run away. Some youth will hint that they want to run away; some will outright threaten their family with running. Sometimes their family will hear rumors through friends, school officials, or other parents that their child is thinking of leaving home.

Rebellious behavior is often the start of trouble. Dropping grades, truancy, breaking rules at home, or picking fights with family members are all signs that your child is having problems.

Changes in behaviors or patterns mean something is wrong. Teens who suddenly stop eating or begin to overeat, sleep all day or never sleep, spend all their time with friends or never want to leave their room. Sudden mood swings may mean teens are unsettled and restless. They’re not coping well with stress.

This source gives resources that help with runaway youth:

1-800-RUNAWAY

1800RUNAWAY.org

These sources are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Taken from: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/running-away-part-i-why-kids-do-it-and-how-to-stop-them/

According to Empowering parents.com, a large reason why kids run away is difficulty with problem-solving skills. These problems might be mental health issues, drug abuse, physical abuse, etc. Another reason and a very concerning one is abuse in the home. In some cases, children run away to escape what’s going on in their home so they don’t have to deal with what’s going on behind closed doors. The website also mentions that another reason why kids run away is that of fear of failure in the home. Perhaps parents set expectations for their children that give the kids anxiety and they want to escape that. The writer of the website was a runaway themself and mentioned that it was easier for them to live on their own instead of in a home filled with criticism.

Episodic Running Away

This source describes episodic running away as “when the child runs away after something has happened. It’s not a consistent pattern, and your child is not using it as a problem-solving strategy all the time. It’s also not something they use to gain power. Rather, they might be trying to avoid some consequence, humiliation or embarrassment.” This is not a pervasive issue and happens once because of a singular incident. If running away becomes pervasive, then it is categorized as chronic running away.

Chronic Running Away

Kids who consistently use running away to gain power in the family have a chronic problem. The website describes this as “just another form of power struggle, manipulation, or acting out; it’s just very high risk acting out”. Going on to say that children “may threaten their parents by saying, “‘If you make me do that, I’ll run away.’” The website says that they (runaway children) know parents worry; for many, it’s one of their greatest fears. It says that some parents may engage in bargaining and over-negotiating with their kids over this when they shouldn’t because they’re afraid. But you need to understand that kids who threaten to run away are using it for power. This not only gives them power over themselves but power over their parents and their families as well. When a parent gives in to this threat, their child starts using it to train them.

It seems to me as if this source focuses on runaway youth that experiences turbulent emotions, and the reasons for running away, according to this site, are all internally stored in the child. There was little to no mention of abuse in the home, neglectful parents, or financial reasons. From my experience at the shelter, those are reasons that every site should list because they are just as concerning as troublesome youth. There are many reasons why children run away from their home. There just simply isn’t a cookie-cutter version of why a child decides to run away, and most of the time it just isn’t an example of a rebellious child. I’m not saying that doesn’t happen, but there needs to be awareness about reasons that are out of the child’s control.

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a1d6i · 6 years

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Can’t Breathe

On this series, we are going to discuss a much more pressing problem, the one that directly damages us, infiltrates our relationships, mortifies our values and crushes our mindset. It/He/She/They are called “Toxins”. Yup, you read it right, because contaminants can take in both gas and solid forms and could murder you physically and mentally. In this very serious series, we are going to answer these three major questions, Who/What are these toxins? Am I toxic? How can I breathe in freely, in my stressful, toxic working environment? Don’t worry; we’ll get to the answers.

Did you know that an estimate of 4.6 million people die annually because of air pollution. It is sure enough that the pollution is brought about by the mass accumulation of garbage, which both contains and releases very harmful toxins, which flies freely above us and corrupt both our atmosphere and good health. I may not be a resident World Health Organization researcher, but I’ll confidently say that 7.6 billion individuals is still wrestling daily with their toxic schedules, toxic classmate or workmate, toxic boss, or even a total stranger you walked past by the other day, who roughly pushed past by you, without even bothering to apologize. YEAH, I feel you, regardless of the effort you put on concealing all your disappointments by trying to put on a very big and convincing smile to attract positivity and good people and moments, there will always be THIS, THIS ONE mood terminator and party crasher that would directly or indirectly ruin your day. Remember, even if that awful scheme was intentionally designed or not to make others see that leashed beast inside, it is still you who is in charge, holding that wheel, your emotions, decisions and response. But how? How? HOW could I get rid of that person or thing that never fails to bother and stop me from doing what is required of me? Well, I’ll help you through in the most simple, practical and decent ways possible.

All people, things and events are good, don’t forget that. The expression, “toxic” serves as an adjective to the persona we are talking about. Let us clear thoughts up; we despise the actions or attitude of the person, not him or her. We dislike the object not because of its appearance, but probably of its current lack of significance. We hate attending purposive events or enthusiastically sign in to demanding schedules, not because it provides no whatsoever substance or benefit at all, but maybe because at the moment, the instance’s time slot does not fit on our perfectly arranged timetable or our habits and routines mismatch the supposedly perfect work hours. The truth is, we can’t deal with all circumstances and expect them to swiftly turn out in our favor, but at least we could try to make things more soothing to us, not to mention attempting to lessen the stressfulness they bring.

1. Dealing with Toxic People (Special Mention: Feeling Class Clown Classmate or Supremely Overconfident Officemate)

Once in our years in school or working career, we surely have had encountered this particular classmate who breaks up the serious silence during the lecture and starts cracking up a joke that isn’t to the littlest extent, even funny, that it makes the hairs on the back of your head stand up and the blood in your bloody boil a hundred degrees Fahrenheit, or maybe that officemate who talks out loud and boasts around his/her Best Employee of the Week award, while you are sitting on your office cubicle trying to focus on the pile of papers that seem to never lessen, and not to mention, the worst part is that he/she would walk past by every co-worker’s booth and give a very uninteresting narrative on how he/she got a pay raise or that gleaming award, and also giving you tips on how to earn one yourself. Really? Honestly, he/she just won the award once, and now he/she feels like the office superhero? You may probably be thinking, “Yeah, enjoy the moment, but as soon as this week or month ends, I’ll get that salary increase, promotion or award, I am too hardworking, to get ignored!” Anger and Irritation are natural feelings of a human being, if you don’t express these the most conservative way you can, you may instantly die of failing to release every bad feeling or thought you have in store. But also remember that we must be careful of the things we would say to others, because intentionally or not, you may be hurting and down casting the person you are talking to, and your angry outburst is never an excuse for all the mindless deeds and words that you might say and do.

Envy, Hatred and an Overdose of Self-Confidence are the sensations hell wants you to feel when you encounter a toxic person, who keeps nagging you directly or indirectly, or has succeeded in reaching something that you haven’t. Watch yourself! You avoid these individuals not because you want to be like them, but because you don’t want to emulate their actions. I personally don’t see toxic people as hindrances, but as disturbances. Hindrances are big things which block your way to achievement and it is a requirement for you to remove this yourself, it’s like getting rid of a large boulder in the middle of the smooth road, which prevents your car from passing the other side. Disturbances are small things that block you from accomplishing, it is widespread, and there is nothing you can do about it. It is like driving through a rocky road or encountering a pebble in the middle of the road, and in both of these situations, you do not need to get off the car or go down to that stone’s level, you just have to swerve away from it or simply kick it aside.

There is NOTHING you could do to get rid of a toxic person; there are reasons why he/she is like that, or you’ll harshly say, it’s in his/her DNA. It would be improbable for you to get off your chosen and favoured track just because of that disturbance, but if you think you could still handle, just IGNORE them, and keep performing. You’ll see, once you start diverting your attention to worthwhile activities, instead of wasting your time and vocabulary judging that toxic person and plotting mischievous tricks to get him/her expelled or fired, things will later turn out to be much clearer.

2. Dealing with Toxic Schedules (Seriously, I’ll wake up that early, and study or work for this long?)

Trust me, studying or working during unwanted time periods would make your head ache much worse than dealing with toxic people. Imagine, waking up at 5 in the morning to get ready for your 8 am call time, then work ends at around 5 or 6 pm, plus you have to travel home from work or school, I think I may not have pointed out, the traffic and the line to the commute vehicle. We surely have wondered why the school or workplace expected the students or workers to sign in that early or even work on a Saturday, and end quite lately. Truthfully, I, myself, tried to make a school schedule, which matches my favorite subjects with my most productive days and hours, while stacking the boring subjects on Saturday. Proudly, it didn’t work, I found it hard, I realized that putting all the fun in one area turns out to be pretty uninteresting, and piling up the least favoured subjects on the other, also turned to be much worse than assumed. The difference between toxic people and so called toxic schedules is that we could escape from the reach of people, but never the grapple of inescapable schedules. Inescapable? Yes! It sounds scary, but at least it is adjustable. Manageable in a way that you could time your sleep and do your leisure earlier when you are needed in the morning and time other events later if you are on a night shift. Our Resilience towards time is tested every time we wake up and suit up for work and study and whenever we survive the day’s challenges. It must be our goal to always catch up with everyday demands and try to lessen our stubbornness as best as we can.

3. Dealing with the Boss (So, I am required to work this hard, plus I have to deal with that monster? Honestly I wonder why no one demands a salary increase, or had? It’s ok. I’m fine!)

I know that you might be thinking why your boss was not talked about in the category of workmates, and instead categorized differently. Is it because he/she has a higher ranking than us, special, or I know, classified as an alien, YES! Definitely he/she is a rude Martian! But I hate to break it to you, these fun assumptions are all wrong. I characterized the “Boss” differently, because the title represents, “Superiority”. Yes, it’s true that all of us, even me, supremely desire to be the boss of our actions, captain of our time and act as supervisor to other people, but then and again, it mostly never happens all at once. We find some superiors, ill tempered, impolite, demanding, terrifying and unfair, in short, we equate boss to all things negative. But why do some see high ranking officials as a beast? Ah! because it’s in their nature, an attitude that must be absorbed when they sit on the high chair! Quite right, quite incorrect. If I declare you right now as boss of an office, a department or even a multimillion dollar company, would you take the position? Most may reply, “Sure I would take it; it’s the best offer I have ever got!” Let’s see, I assure you that not a day would pass without you demanding the best of results from the people who work for you, shouting to the top of your lungs because you need to chase the company’s deadline or breaking down because of the massive calls you receive per hour. Then you’ll be like, “Oh, so that is the reason behind that bad hair day or frowning face every time I walk across his/her office.” In defense of the bosses, they are the reasons why you are working happily and earning continually in your work and they demand, because they know you could do more on what you just had presented. I am not really sure if your boss is just putting on his/her work face on, to look fierce and strong, or if the attitude that he/she is showing is really genuine, but it may be considered true that all his/her actions are for the best of your team.

If you still don’t believe me, trust that with your continuous hard work, patience and dedication, you’ll soon achieve that “BOSS” title. Nothing comes easy; you never know the hardships that he/she endured before being the master of the pack. Keep grinding.

4. Dealing with Toxic Stranger (Excuse me, do you mind? I see he/she doesn’t. All right! After a bad day, this happens. Don’t worry! I can still manage. But I think I can manage a text or call at least.)

The toxic stranger represents the unexpected and uncalculated situations which disturb us in whatever we are doing. It may be a shocking emergency, the sudden appearance of an arch enemy or an upturn of supposedly happy events, whatever it is; that holds you back from fulfilment, is considered as a toxin. Unlike your classmate or workmate that is predictable and anytime ignore, strangers are unpredictable, stealthy and means to ruin you from head to toe. That is why it is necessary that we should continually raise our guards and not let anything drive us away from our destination. More about this topic would be intensely talked about in this series.

Nest time, we are going to examine your Toxicity Level, determine whether you are a toxin or not to others and convert that feeling of toxicity to a much cleaner, breathable air of freshness.

#poetryportal #poeticstories #writerscreed #cosmicsharing #magicwritingcommunity

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