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#but as far as she knows ive been single forever. and i mean i was only in a relationship once
tolerateit · 28 days
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you're one of my main actual halseyposting mutuals so ive been scrolling thru your posts about h5 and just need to vent omg. i keep rereading h's tumblr posts and they're making me fall for the final album rumors.... idk if it's true but this album is going to be a bang, no matter what it represents - a new beginning, a final chapter (@ the iichliwp tour which was divided into chapters), a goodbye, a cry, etc. i wonder what it will be - a return to roots? an exploration into novel sounds? will it be a thousand songs with the same gutting energy as forever... is a long time ? i just can't wait to love it for whatever it is, but i think it's going to be a pill to swallow in whatever form it takes. does "all of this is temporary" still apply if they announce that this is her big finale?
personally, h has the habit of releasing albums at extremely pivotal points in my life and development as an adult, so a part of me is like oh shit if this is it then where do i begin and end? but that's not your problem, its mine :) a penny for your thoughts and your comprehension about what is happening, what this means, etc.
and for fun, i would love to know your fav underrated lyric. 💜💜
I've seen very little hype for H5 in online spaces which is. A bit disappointing but everything h has hinted about so far suggests a long hiatus imo?? Because they've signed a deal with a new label, so it doesn't make sense for it to be a single album deal?? But I'm not sure honestly, maybe she's going for a complete brand change or trying out something different (ie acting, or focusing on about face). As for the sound I think 70s rock would be the vibe but honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they do something completely new and shocking. SKSKSKS there are SO MANY thoughts and so little to go by I just can't wait to see where it goes
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keibea · 10 months
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Get to Know Me - Sims Style
i was tagged by @amuhav because she loves me and knows i love doing these things
what's your favourite sims death?
ngl i dont actually have one, im terrified of any of my babies dying so they never do...but i guess old age maybe? because that means theyve lived a long life and ive played with them for a long time?
alpha cc or mm?
alpha HANDS DOWN...i dont hate mm by any means dont get me wrong, but ill always be an alpha girl at heart. its the alpha hairs, they always get me.
do you cheat your sims weight?
only if it fits their character i guess? not usually in gameplay.
do you move objects
i move objects every single day.
fave mod?
ooofff i mean out of necessity? nraas. but just the one i love? hands down pose player. mostly because i was so excited when i finally got it to work (i was like 13 or something and before then i could not figure out how to get mods to work) so a lot of happy memories from finally getting my sims to pose.
first expansion/game pack/stuff pack?
my first ever was sims 2 glamour life stuff pack when i was a kid. if we're talking sims 3, i believe the first pack i got was generations, which is still my favourite sims pack ever.
do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?
i pronounce it LIVE, always have as far as i know.
who's your favourite sim that you've made?
well, its gotta be elodie honestly. she and eli are the longest sims i have ever had and i love them both dearly. in the sims 4, its gotta be my girl pippa. before tumblr? i had this family called the moretti's, i miss them and i think about them way too often. i loved them all.
have you made a simself?
oh yeah. loads of times. i think ive shared my sims 3 and sims 4 variations on tumblr (but they look really weird tbh). i love making myself, cause then i can wear all these clothes i cant afford in real life.
favourite ea hair
im with aimee on this one.
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im mostly joking, but usually sims 3 hairs are a no go for me, except for some store ones and the hairs that are pulled back into buns always look really nice. for sims 4, only the newer ones. the older ones are not for me.
favourite life stage?
young adult. i feel like you can always do more with young adult sims and you have so much more time (except in sims 1 i believe?and sims 2 only if u went to uni?? idk). 90% of my sims are forever young adults because i love that life stage so much.
are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?
mate ive been trying to build for donkeys years to no avail. so im almost always in it for the gameplay.
are you a cc creator?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHA HA once upon a time bro maybe. your girl tries to be, but uni is a pain in my bottom, and sims 3 loves making my life difficult.
do you have any simblr friends or a sim squad?
somehow i do?? more friends then irl anyway. the girl gang is @thesimperiuscurse , @lazysunjade & @amuhav these 3 have put up with me despite my crazy personality for an incredibly amount of time and i love them all dearly. but i have so many friends on here its crazy (more than 3 people its incredible!). obviously they havent seen my real personality yet. besties include: @catharsim , @plumbobem , @johziii , @rollo-rolls , @moonsonnet , oh gosh im forgetting people I AM SO SORRY I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH
do you have any sims merch?
bro i wish, but no money. spent it all on anno 1800. no regrets.
do you have a youtube for sims?
i believe formally i do, but i dont post anything. i do have some ideas if i ever wanted to, but my adhd brain couldnt cope being consistent so i probably never will.
how has your "sims style" changed throughout your years of playing?
as in sims or gameplay? idk ill talk about both. gameplay wise, not much, except im weirdly a lot more controlling then i was over my sims WHOOPS. but i still cant get passed gen 2 so that hasn't changed. but i still prefer family gameplay, probably always will. and challenges, always challenges. sims wise? a lot.
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this is one of the earliest sims i have photo evidence of. this was in 2018 i believe?
whose your favourite cc creator?
the people that are the cause of most of my cc obsession are @kerriganhouse , @rollo-rolls , @johziii , @joojconverts & @martassimsbookcc and probably a few more but mind blank
how long have u had simblr?
since 2020. one of the longest things ive ever committed to.
how do you edit your pictures?
with my blood, sweat and tears. im not joking, a lot of sweat and tears goes on when im editing.
what expansion/gamepack is your faveourite?
of all time? generations, no doubt in my mind. i never had any sims 1 or sims 2 expansions, so i never got to experience those unfortunately. generations was perfection though. i mean, boarding school? lifesaver. also led to the best sims series of all time: lifesimmer's generations. for sims 4 though? probably get together, purely because of the world.
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kettleghost · 1 year
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bro bro your stuff is AMZING whatt you’re?? SIXTEEN⁉️⁉️ bruhh how are you so good? Oh oh yeah I wanted to talk about this scene that u redrew it’s so POWERFUL.. in the commentary about it, directly before the car breakdown, Jimmy said to be talking to his 20 year old self. him crying is him finally giving up on having faith. of doing things the right way. Nobody will think of him past his flaws. He finally resigns himself to his “fate,” the one that chuck told him :) where he said that Jimmy’s never going to change. And the EXIT SIGN represents that :)) So great.
In a way, jimmy died there. That’s the end of him and the beginning of Saul. Then in his next scene he talks to Kim and is perfectly fine. Jimby DIED and he just moves on I’m so normal about this,, bro would take his feelings to the grave fr my boy has so many issues ✊😔
Idk why I’m telling u this except that Saul. Is your blorbo. I thought you would enjoy whejdbe
first of all THANK YOU!! it means a lot u enjoy the silly drawings :)
ive just woken up so i will spare you a big paragraph response dissecting the intricacies of that scene since i think you explained it better than i ever could BUT that scene, and that episode in general obviously is one of THE most pivotal moments in jimmy mcgill’s life i think. he sees the way people treat kristy esposito firsthand, only viewing her for her flaws, her mistakes, and jimmy so clearly sees himself in her- it mirrors the way chuck has thought about jimmy all his life. jimmy even repeats a segment of chuck’s final conversation to kristy, saying that she won’t matter all that much to the rest of her peers. it’s such a masterfully crafted scene and i am SO glad that winner is one of the few official better call saul scripts that we have access to online, so you can see all of the little written insights regarding how this scene effects jimmy and whatnot. (there’s a great and heartbreaking scene direction of jimmy crying in the car, i can’t remember what it says verbatim but it talked about like. jimmy viscerally ugly crying, like the type of crying where there’s snot in your nose and you can’t stop until your head starts hurting. and it’s just. ouugh it’s soo so real and it makes me so so sad). winner is one of my favourite episodes in the whole show by far because it’s so so heartwrenching and ties in a bunch of facets within jimmy’s life leading up to that moment, it’s so good.
THAT SILLYFUNNY LAWYER NEEDS TO GO TO THERAPY. NEEOOOW. NOW!!!! i know, just like with heisenberg in brba, a lot of people try and pinpoint the exact moment jimmy became saul, and im personally a firm believer of it not really being one specific moment, and rather a gradual shift. but if i had to choose one, it’d be this scene 100%. he even takes the name saul in this episode! like you said, he finally accepts the things that his brother, and the legal landscape in general have been saying about him for ages, and it destroys jimmy, but saul learns to embrace it and wear it with pride.
he is my number 1 blorbo forever and ever i miss him every single day <\3
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moving-boytoygirl · 2 years
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cw this post is about people acting like freaks about the heard/depp defamation case and involves ableism, misogyny, biphobia. feel free 2 rb if you so desire but please also feel more than free to scroll past if you're as sick of hearing about it as i am
i have no personal opinion on the depp/heard situation because refuse to look into it enough to actually learn the facts of the case. but the way people are talking about heard in particular in a very gendered "she's a mentally ill bitch of course she's making it all up" way is really truly disgusting. like if she is lying and depp really was abused by her and not the other way around then ok, again i literally do not know, but once you start throwing mentally ill people under the bus and calling women crazy lying cunts and being like "as if that would ever happen 🤣" when they talk about the details of their alleged abuse i think you're just an ableist misogynist and you need to get pushed off a cliff like asap.
like im not surprised by any of it but i am so enraged and saddened by all the people being like "she was diagnosed with BPD and people with BPD are ABUSIVE CONTROL FREAKS" and "she's histrionic which for those who don't know is basically SEVERE NARCISSISM they are psychotic manipulators let this be a lesson to stay AWAY from these people they're EVIL" "she's definitely a sociopath narcissist that's why she abused him i was in a relationship with a narcissist and-" like god shut the fuck uppppp. i hate every single one of you ableist fucking losers all these disorders people are attributing to her (regardless of if she has them or not, i do not know) are already so uniquely stigmatized and im genuinely worried this whole shitshow will exacerbate the problem and make things even worse.
also the way people are talking about her fucking facial expressions like "no real abuse victim would ever act like that" "if she was really abused she wouldn't have to fake cry" as if people haven't been using that against abuse victims for fucking???? forever????? because people have these preconceived notions of how we should feel and behave and speak and whether or not we're taken seriously is so often hinged on how well we live up to these notions. which, yes, sometimes does actually mean FAKING CERTAIN EMOTIONS. i have literally done this myself. it's not something only liars and abusers do. if the evidence shows that she abused him then thats literally all anyone should need. rely on the actual facts of the case, whatever they may be. do not be dragging survivors everywhere through the mud because you're a fucking freak who wants to police our expressions and feelings and tone thanks die
(see also: "if she was abused by him why would she still proposition him for sex/want to cuddle with him/etc?" it actually happens all the time. shut the fuck up)
ok and i don't think there's any reason to go very far into the sexist rhetoric on both sides because anyone with even a single tiny sliver of a brain would be able to see how horrible it is so moving on from that. the fact that ive seen people be like "poor johnny.... she's bisexual so she probably cheated on him too 🤣" ummmm once again. die. like fr. i hate you
again i cannot state clearly enough this is not a reflection of my opinion on who is guilty or whatever. i do not know because i haven't looked closely into the case. but despite my best efforts i still have been exposed to it and i think its inexcusable that people are treating it like a fandom war and whipping out like every possible form of bigotry to justify which "team" they're on. and im really genuinely worried for the damage this is going to do to the public's perception of abuse/mental illness/etc which is especially worrying because we were already so fucked up in all of those arenas and we really do not need things to get worse.
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gpavila · 6 months
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ugh 10.31.23
I've honestly been feeling so ugh lately. I don't know how to explain it, I feel like i always try my best to put into words how i feel but this time i can't. I used to be good at going to people for help and advice, a part of me still is but i just cant. anymore, at least not like before. I just feel dumb after teliing someone anything or dont feel like i know how to really. Im at the point of my healing journey that im ready to let go of the pass and move on complety. I feel like this is the first time in like forever that i truly really do mea it, i am ready but am i really? I keep asking myself so much and feel like i expect so much from myself that i get so discurage whenver my progress isnt like other. I know and see tha i am far from where i use to be and that makes me so happy and gives me hope. New hope, more hope, healthy hope. I know and can tell that a part of me hasnt moved on completly and i mean that is okay. I keep trying to tell myseld that its okay and im trying to learn to be more patient with myself too. and its fucking hard. I find myself still dreamsing and thinking a lot about this particual person still (my ex) and it gets me so upset. i find myself waking up in the middle of my sleep and thinkin gbaout him and getting upset beecause why am i thinking about him you know, like i dont want to or do i? or what is it thats making my brain think about him still wihtout my control duh its frustuating. I was telling this to one of my friends from work and she told me that what if im under a spell or its wich craf. not going to lie a part of me is start to question it lol but i dont think so. I think if i really sit with my emotions like ive been trying to lern to do and its hard. but ive been wondering and now that im sitting here writing this, it came to me. Maybe the reason that i still think about him a lot and dream about him to the point that it wakes me up, might be simply because of my subconciouse. I feel like i have put so much of the blame on myself and have took all the guilt and kept it. I think a part of me still needs to fprgive myself, not only for the misdtakes that i made in that relastionship but how much i hurt myself in it. All of it, i still think i was a bad gf and but a lot of the blame on me so that might be it and maybe a bug factor too is that he moved on completely and faster than me. i know i haven't moved on and honestly yeah that really does upset me tbh but i know i need to be patient. I hope one day it is al gone for good because i am. as much as i didn't want to and as much as i was scared before now i am not, i want it, i want to completely move on for good, and i know the for good part will never happen, at least not in the way that i would hope for. i know that someone who was a big part of my life, someone who was my whole teenage years will be hard to completely forget, i wont, realistically speaking i wont, but idk the point that i am is good, it's a good sign that i am going in the right direction and i just have to keep doing what i am doing because the results are there and it seems to be working but at a really slow pace lol. I'm slowly starting to feel happy with myself and with who and what i have in my life. trying to make the best out of anything big or small. i look back at things and no longer get sad but glad it happend but something it can still hurt and all i guess is trying to say that i hope one day i can lookk back at everything without feelign one single glimps of hurt. I want to let go completly. im still sad
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August
These days keep moving faster and faster. Thursdays feel like Mondays..the days feel forever off.
i feel like acknowledging how much time has past means im paying attention; i dont really want to care. ive come to realize maybe i really have been let down by love. my own expectations; medias representation of what love should be, religious garbage of what love ought to be. Ive written before how love has always been a sore spot of mine. a bruise that wont leave my body. being adopted my first thoughts of love were...abandonment- (how one can love something so much and still push to let it go?) the virtue of: if you truly love something you let it go. the ultimate sacrifice. that love, had to be a sacrifice... same with the religious load they shoved down my throat- christ and his undying love for you and his sacrifice. love sacrifice love sacrifice i was taught commit to the ONE you love and youll be happy. i wanted to be happy. protecting myself from too many people and focusing on THE ONE. what was i afraid of? (i suppose i was only afraid of letting down the many..the parents- the lookers) afraid they would think of me some sort of way (wtf...) was i really trying to find true happiness. i think i was just trying to be loved. experience love. i wanted more love from my parents more love from my friends- looked for love in all places. (except within myself- hating myself makes loving myself difficult.) (hate yourself?!) sometimes im not sure i know who i am unless somethings added to me. HIS GF, HER best friend, HER daughter. HIS wife. HIS mother. but who am i and why dont i like myself. lately ive been asking myself... what it is i want. what is it that i deserve. what is it that i even like this next chapter is about what love should be this next chapter is what im afraid of. I think at first there are no expectations. just trials and errors. realizing you like it more when someone says or does that verse i hate it when they do that. trial and error though lots of trial and error. but once that trial is over- you deff have a better understanding of even your own needs. what is it that i require to function normally today. to function better, to function. some need more than others. some need less...
i woke up oneday needing more. feeling as if i wasnt being watered. feeling like i had been walking in a dessert and just woke up. dry mouth. malnourished. like the house plant you forget that sits far away- you admire from a far and yet forget to water consistently.
i felt tired in my soul. i tired id never felt before.
ive felt hurt; used, abandoned. but never so tired before. i felt like i just needed to stop. i wondered why my partner wasnt there to help me or support me. guide me, carry me.
i felt wounded by love. what was happening. hadnt i followed all the rules. why does this hurt so much.
for a min there- in the pain, i thought- well if i could just have more than one person who loved me, this lack of love wouldnt hurt. (but it would...it would still hurt regardless.) it was the thought it self that rooted. why wasnt i getting the love i wanted. needed. what did i have to do to get this love.
i can see my soul radiating its need- its hunger, its hurt and with that; others could see it. she needs something....who is she
im afriad i can not make this next step. i can feel my heart beating out of my chest from anxiety.
i want to be seen. and heard.
im afraid to be hurt. as if im riding a bike for the first griping the handle bars- telling myself to petal- nervously shaking. i cant move.
im afraid that every moment from the this moment ill just continue to let people dictate what i want and how i want it.
Im afraid to fall in love again with someone only to be let down.
the optimist in me tell me what i tell my single friends. that all people are lessons and this ones been learned- onto the next. that the hurt wont last. that you have to try; you have to continue. each person simply teaches us something about ourselves or them and that lesson prepares us for lifes next obstacle. its all just..trial and error
but the realist in me goes. i cant do this again. i cant just lay out all my insecurites and my secrets
this time im feeling more myself that before. im vulnerable all over again. im afraid to get hurt. im afraid to trust someone with my happiness and expect them to keep me happy. (it isnt suppose to be that way- it doesnt work that way)
to keep and be kept.
each of my lovers have taken something me.
one my innocence.
one my dignity
& one my identity.
Im not sure i can trust again. im not sure i can open up. i wanted to be so ready to blossom and the first site of the sun i shriveled away. im afraid to let them down; that they wont like what they see.
im afraid every day and every night the multitude of scenerios will forever haunt me.
what if i could find a lover who doesnt hurt me? who could give and water. what if i could blossom to be the best version of myself. im afraid evrything is at face value these days and that my soul isnt worth much. a pretty face is a pretty face...is...a pretty face.
i deserve the love i want. but im afraid my insecurities have gotten the best of me.
what do i do now.
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dullanyan · 3 years
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i think my mom tried to bait me into coming out by talking abt what kind of guys im attracted to BUT jokes on her. im bisexual
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kookingtae · 3 years
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falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW
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pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7
→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.
→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)
→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!
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Jungkook could never face Y/N again.
God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?
Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.
But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.
He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.
Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.
But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.
He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.
As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—
Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.
He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.
While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.
He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.
“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.
It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.
Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.
She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”
The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.
And so he stopped fighting.
“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.
Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.
“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.
“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.
Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.
And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.
Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?
The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.
He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.
At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.
Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.
He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.
The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.
It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.
“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”
He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?
She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”
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As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.
You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.
But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.
“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.
Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”
“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”
You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.
“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”
You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”
Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.
A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.
You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.
But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.
Unless…
Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?
Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.
“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”
And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.
If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.
You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.
“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.
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Can you do "I'm just a little cold, I'm okay, really. Let me sit with a blanket or something" with anakin (cause desert kid) and obi wan and cuddles?
from these extremely exhausted starters
“And that one?”
“Bassin Minor.”
“Good,” Obi-Wan nodded. Anakin tried not to sink too deep into the pride Obi-Wan seeped into their bond. “You’ve been studying.”
“You don’t let me do anything else,” Anakin said to shield his own joy at Obi-Wan’s praise. He was a teenager now; Obi-Wan didn’t need to know that Anakin still cared about his opinion.
“Ah, yes,” the older Jedi surveyed the star map thoughtfully. “I had a lapse and momentarily forgot what a terrible, totalitarian teacher I am.”
“I don’t know what that word means, but it sounds like something you’d be.”
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “Perhaps you should focus on your politics now that you’ve mastered constellations.”
Anakin shifted in his seat. “Politics are stupid.”
“Very good, Padawan,” Obi-Wan beamed in jest. “A lesson better learned early on.” A dismal frown replaced his smile. “Unfortunately, they still dictate a large part of our lives.”
“I dictate my own life,” Anakin said with all the confidence of a thirteen-year-old who knew everything. He leaned back in his seat and put his feet on the holo-projector.
Obi-Wan shoved them back to the floor.
“We’re landing soon. Get your parka.”
It was music to Anakin’s ears. It seemed like they’d been flying forever and he wasn’t even being allowed to pilot, so all he had for entertainment was a star map, a broken mouse droid (which he’d finished repairing six hours ago), and Obi-Wan.
Anakin needed off this kriffing ship.
He stood from his seat, quickly–and immediately fell back down. His head suddenly felt heavy and his vision swam. Weird.
“Anakin!” Obi-Wan called from the small room in the back of the ship. “Parka! Some time today, please.”
“Coming,” Anakin groaned, standing again–slowly this time–and holding his head as he walked.
Every step toward the back room tugged at muscles that shouldn’t be sore. Maybe he’d just been sitting too long, but it seemed strange for him to suddenly ache all over, when he hadn’t even done any physical training in a few days.
“Here,” Obi-Wan shoved a parka into his chest as soon as he got in the doorway. “Make sure it’s zipped.”
“Okay, okay,” Anakin mumbled, sliding it over his robes. 
“If your feet get cold, tell me. I don’t want a repeat of–”
“Master. I’ve been to Halak IV before.”
“Yes, and I practically carried you the entire way back to the ship because you were whining.”
“Oh,” Anakin grinned sheepishly, tugging on his earmuffs. “Right.”
Obi-Wan moved past his Padawan into the main hall. “I’m going to check on the cargo bay and see if everything’s secure for landing. You go ahead to the cockpit and supervise the autopilot.”
“Can’t I put it on manual just for landing?” Anakin pleaded.
“No. Now go.”
Anakin watched his Master walk away with a sour pout. Obi-Wan was no fun when he was stressed–and he was almost always stressed. 
He made his way to the cockpit and settled into his seat. Supervise the autopilot. Stupid.
Nothing was visible through the thick atmosphere they were flying through, but they must be getting closer to ground-level because the air in the room ran cold and Anakin barely managed to contain a shiver.
It was strange, because even though his body was freezing, his head felt warm–and still so heavy. He leaned against the back of his seat and tried to pinpoint the pressure. Maybe this atmosphere had less oxygen than they had anticipated?
That could be a problem.
“Hey, Master?” Anakin tried to shout to the back of the ship, but quickly clamped his mouth shut. Obi-Wan had always been impressed with his ability to speak at obscene decibels, but suddenly, Anakin found that his throat was tight and unable to produce more than a whisper.
It had been a little sore earlier, but this was ridiculous.
He rubbed at his throat with a frown and tried again. “Master Obi-Wan!”
The throat only tightened and the pressure in his head amplified. He was so distracted by the pain, he didn’t manage to catch himself before shivering along with the next wave of chills that overtook him.
“What’s wrong?” Obi-Wan’s voice came from behind him.
Anakin spun around his chair and winced. When his feet planted themselves on the ground, the room didn’t stop spinning. “I think–” He pressed on his temple, willing the pain to go away. “I think we read the–stats wrong. The atmosphere seems...ugh, highly pressurised. And not oxygen based.”
Instead of insisting they hadn’t read the stats wrong because Obi-Wan Kenobi didn’t do anything wrong as Anakin expected, the older Jedi only stood in the doorway of the cockpit and studied his student with a frown.
“What?” Anakin asked, uncomfortable under his gaze.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Huh? Nothing.”
“You’re shivering.”
He shrugged as casually as his headache would allow him. “Just cold.”
Obi-Wan didn’t look like he was listening. Instead, he dropped into a crouch in front of Anakin’s chair and laid a palm against Anakin’s forehead.
“You’re burning up,” Obi-Wan said quietly. Concern flickered through their bond.
Anakin pulled away. “I’m fine.”
“Have you been feeling like this all day?”
“I’m fine, Master.”
“You’re staying on the ship.” And, like that, Obi-Wan was back on his feet and walking out of the cockpit.
“What?” Anakin cried, jumping up to follow. Immediately regretted it. His head–ow, ow, owww.
He fell back into the seat with a groan. “Master!” he yelled, his voice straining and stretching
“You have a fever, Anakin,” Obi-Wan called from the main room before striding back into the cockpit with a heap of emergency blankets. “I’ll drop off the supplies. You stay and rest.”
His voice came out garbled behind all of the blankets, but Anakin understood enough to scoff in protest. “No way, Master! I’ve been stuck at the Temple for your last two missions. I–oof.” His words were cut off as Obi-Wan unceremoniously dropped the heap of fabric into his lap. “Master Obi-Wan.”
“Don’t Master Obi-Wan me. You’re sick and I won’t have you going out into the freezing cold and getting even sicker. Now strap in. We’re landing.”
Anakin made sure to click his seatbelt as loudly as possible and give a disdainful groan to make sure Obi-Wan knew just how unfair this was.
He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep or how long Obi-Wan had been gone, but it had felt like hours since his Master had gotten off the ship and locked it behind him, leaving Anakin frowning under a few hundred tons of blankets.
But suddenly, he was being lightly jostled and–
“Master?” he slurred, blinked up at the face hovered a couple inches above his.
“Oh,” Obi-Wan said, pulling back. “You’re awake.”
“Why are you on top of me?”
“I’m trying to undo your seatbelt.”
“But you always say that safety is–”
“Anakin.” Obi-Wan sighed, but the corners of his lips quivered. “We’re on the way back to Coruscant. The mission went off without a hitch. I have auto-pilot set. Go to the back room and sleep.”
“Not tired,” Anakin lied. 
“Bed.”
“I'm just a little cold, I'm okay, really.” Anakin scrambled to sit up and realised he was, in fact, very cold. “Let me sit with a blanket or something.”
“Padawan,” Obi-Wan said, gently. Why was Obi-Wan being so nice? “I’m worried about you. I’d feel better if you were getting real rest in a real bed.”
“That’s not a real bed,” Anakin pointed out.
“Please.” And something about the way he pleaded instead of demanded it. Like it was a personal favour he was asking his Padawan to complete–
“Okay.”
Anakin didn’t need help walking to the back room, but he let Obi-Wan guide his shoulder anyway, because something told him it’s what Obi-Wan needed.
And it definitely didn’t count as a real bed, but maybe Obi-Wan had been right, because it sure looked more inviting than the stiff seat in the cockpit. He stumbled into it and Obi-Wan’s hand didn’t leave his shoulder.
“Are you hungry? Thirsty?” the older Jedi asked and, for the first time in Anakin’s life, he thought maybe his Master looked a little unsure of himself.
“No.”
“Okay,” Obi-Wan nodded quickly to himself. “Okay. Okay.”
“Master?”
Obi-Wan’s head snapped up. “Yeah?”
“You said that three times.”
“Oh,” Obi-Wan breathed and then chuckled awkwardly. “Sorry.” Then, he looked back at Anakin. “Do you need more blankets?”
Anakin grinned, looking down at the mountain of fabric on top of him. “I think I’m set.” But his teeth chattered anyway and Obi-Wan’s frown deepened.
“I don’t have any medicine,” Obi-Wan muttered to himself, his eyes flickering around the room as if he had the ability to speak it into existence. “I could comm Bant and see if she could–
“Obi?” Anakin asked, too tired to be embarrassed by the old nickname that tumbled through. “I’m okay, but would you–would you just stay?”
He felt like a youngling again–like the nine-year-old who had known nothing about this life and had relied completely on his Master. Obi-Wan had been there for him every single time, even in the midst of losing his own Master. It was something Anakin had only recently found the time to process and be grateful for. 
Obi-Wan’s face softened and Anakin felt warmth through their bond. “Of course.”
Anakin moved as far toward the wall as he could and Obi-Wan’s eyebrows lifted of their own accord, like he’d only just realised what Anakin meant by ‘stay.’ In that moment, Anakin’s bravery crumbled–he was so stupid. Too old to ask Obi-Wan to sleep with him. Too grown, too big, too independent–
Obi-Wan climbed into the tiny bed and rested his back against the wall, dropping his hand to rest on Anakin’s head, his fingers absentmindedly moving through the small curls that had formed in the absence of a haircut. 
“Hey, Master?” Anakin said, his voice coming out quiet and croaky. Relieved. At peace. Safe.
“Yes, young one?”
“You’re good at taking care of people.”
The tiny movements in his hair froze for a moment and Anakin wondered if he’d said something wrong. But then–the movements resumed and Anakin didn’t need to see his Master to sense his smile. Obi-Wan’s smiles were always like this. The genuine ones anyway. Blinding and merciless in the way they spread through a room, touching every heart in their path and almost always pulling smiles in response.
Anakin thought he was pretty lucky to get to be on the receiving end so often.
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diaryofabeautyfiend · 3 years
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* ⚠️ Warnings: A lot of angst. Mentions of sex. A little fluff. People drinking alcohol. ⚠️ This one shot was never meant to be a series. All of your love and appreciation spurred me in to write more. Hope you like this chapter. I cried while I was writing it. Part 5 is the finale.
Plain Gold Ring IV:
You Don’t Know What Love Is
“How could you know how lips hurt
'Till you've kissed and had to pay the cost
Baby, 'till you've flipped your heart and you have lost
You don't know what love is” Nina Simone
———————————————————————
Being on the board of your firm’s charity gala was a huge deal. On top of your normal duties you were in charge of the silent auction. The final auction items had all arrived and you had been busy categorizing everything and preparing for the night that you barely have time to focus on the Andy and Lori situation.
Not that it wasn’t grating on your last nerve. You were so short with everyone at work that it was becoming a problem. Stan had to have a talk with you. You just had to focus and get through this event.
Andy helped as much as he could. He was supportive when you were frustrated and quickly learned when to back off. Sometimes you were up until the wee hours he would literally drag you to bed. He knew how to keep your mind off of work for a while.
You were so busy that you hadn’t even purchased a dress. You and Liz went shopping after work. She was the only person to know about you and Andy.
“What do you think of this one? Think Andy will like it?” You wore a black long sleeved gown with a v that went down to right above your belly button and a slit up to your mid thigh.
“I mean, I’d fuck you.” she deadpanned. This was the dress. You would be comfortable in it all night. You also looked like a powerful bitch who would slit your throat.
———————————————————————
You had to be at the site earlier than the guests so you did your hair and most of your makeup at home. Andy had not seen your dress on purpose. You wanted him to see you when he walked in with Lori. Your petty brain was on overdrive.
“Well you look great” Andy said pointing to your sweats.
“Shush. I’m not putting on my dress and heels until the last second. I pressed your shirt it’s hanging in your closet. I also picked up your tux from the cleaners.”
He slid his arms around you and looked at you in the mirror. “Why are you so good to me?” His hands roamed your body and made contact with your bare skin under your tshirt.
“I am gonna be late.” You swatted his hands away.
“You have four hours. Didn’t you hire party planners?”
“Yes. I still need to get my nails done and set up the auction. You can have your way with me later.”
“But I want to now” he whined. “Please. I’ll be really quick.”
You giggled , “Sounds really fun for me. You know I would never ever miss an opportunity to cum all over your cock…” your face was so close to his your lips were nearly touching. Your hands were on his chest. His were on your hips pulling you closer. “But I have to go. Bye, baby.”
“Tease! You’ll pay for that.” he called after you.
You winked at him as you headed out of the door, “I certainly hope so.”
All Andy could do was laugh. He wished he could spend this evening whisking you around the dance floor. He couldn’t wait to see how beautiful you would look tonight.
In two days you would be on your way to Chicago. The movers were already on the way with your furniture. Your suitcase was in the process of being packed. He hated it. He was taking a long weekend to help you get settled. By Wednesday morning you would have to say goodbye. His heart broke a little every time he thought about it. Every single day he wanted to say he loved you. He was reluctant to ruin what you had knowing there was no way around the inevitable.
———————————————————————
Everything was set. The only thing left was for you to get dressed. You re-sprayed your hair and put on your jewelry. You spritzed Chanel over your wrists neck and cleavage. Last thing was to coat your lips in a matte oxblood to match your nails. You looked sleek and downright terrifying. Just as you planned.
“They just walked in.” Liz whispered from the doorway.
“How does she look?”
“Pretty and appropriate.”
“How do I look?”
“Like a bad bitch. Let’s go.”
You walked out with your shoulders back and your head high. You made sure the gown swished enough to expose your legs and the impossibly high heels you wore. Andy saw you from across the room and stopped dead in his tracks. You looked like you were walking in slow motion. He almost dropped his drink.
You made a b line for Stan and his wife Elaine who were standing directly behind the other couple. He smelled your perfume wafting off of you when you walked by. He almost lost it right there.
“Y/N! What a knockout. Elaine, isn’t she gorgeous?” You kissed his cheek with the side of your mouth careful not to smear your lipstick.
“Christ, Stan. Keep it in your pants. You look beautiful, honey.”
“Thank you, Elaine. So good to see you. Lovely as always.”
“Thank you, dear. Now how is it possible you are here without a date? Stan, you work the poor thing so much she can’t even find a man. That’s why she’s leaving you.”
“And for many other reasons” you joked. You were very much aware that Andy was behind you. “Elaine have you met Andy and Lori Barber?”
You took Lori’s hand and ushered them over. “No, I haven’t. So nice to finally meet you.”
“You get to know each other. I’m going to grab a drink. Can I get anyone anything?” Such a good hostess.
“I’d love a scotch. Elaine wine?” She nodded.
“Andy?”
“You won’t be able to carry all of those drinks. Let me come with you.” Andy patted Lori on the arm. “I’ll be right back.” When you were far enough away he took a long look at you. “How long til I get to rip that dress off of you?”
Your cheeks heated, “You won’t be ripping anything. This dress cost a fortune. It’s far too pretty to ruin especially with panty lines.”
“Fuck. I’m gonna ruin that pussy.”
“Promises promises, Mr. Barber.” He groaned and adjusted his pants.
“Such a tease.”
You delivered the drinks and excused yourself. For the rest of the night Andy only caught glimpses of you. He tried not to make it obvious but Lori could see. Once upon a time he looked at her like that. Except the way he looked at you was a look of complete adoration.
You tried avoiding the Barbers all night. The whole time Andy schmoozed and did his Andy thing, his arm was around her waist. She kept her hand on his chest. They were always finding little ways to touch each other. When he kissed her temple you nearly broke the clipboard you were holding.
Stan stood next to you draining his fourth drink, “You ok there, champ? Sweet couple aren’t they?”
“Yeah. They’re adorable.” You slammed the rest of your Old Fashion.
“Reminds me of me and Katherine . Remember Katherine?”
“Was she your second or third wife? I don’t remember.” Your words were dripping with sarcasm.
“Second. Every time we had one of these things Katherine was on my arm. She was great at this shit. She’d chat it up with the partner’s wives earning me brownie points while I fucked Elaine’s brains out in the John. Know why I married Elaine? She was the best goddamn litigator I’d ever seen. Gets my dick hard every time I think about it. She lit a fire in me that couldn’t be stoked. Kind of like you do for Andy.”
You blanched, “What do you mean?”
“Oh save it. I know you’re fucking. The whole office does. I see how he looks at you. But you can’t see how you look at him. Don’t let the act fool you. He’s stupid for you. Let me keep him for a couple of months before you move him to Chicago ok? He can make us some serious money.” He patted you on the ass and went back to Elaine. She was waiting for him with a big smile that he drunkenly devoured.
———————————————————————
The band started playing. When a slow song came on Lori took Andy’s hand. “Dance with me?”
For possibly the last time he held her. She closed her eyes, rested her head on his shoulder and let him lead her around the dance floor. He wasn’t reciprocating with the same tenderness. His eyes were held on you.
You watched him place his hand on the small of her back. The way he held her hand was a practiced action that he had perfected over sixteen years. When he let himself get lost for just a moment he was overcome with grief for himself and Lori. He pressed a kiss to her lips. Her heart fluttered and she kissed him back. You rushed out of the room when you saw them.
Lori felt her husband’s body stiffen. His hold on her loosened. It felt like he was forcing his body to stay with her. She understood why his mood shifted when she saw you leaving. She looked up at him. His eyebrows were knitted together with worry.
“How long have you been sleeping with her?” she asked quietly.
“A month. Maybe longer.” He couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t lie.
“So basically since you left.”
“My second day there. Lori, I’m so sorry. It just happened. I wasn’t looking for anything.”
“No, but you were open to something happening. Does everyone here know? Of course they do. I’m so humiliated. I think I’d like to go home.”
“I’ll get the car.”
“No. I can get myself home. This night is too important for you to leave early.”
“Lori…”
“I don’t want to be around you right now, Andy. I can’t.” She let go of his hand and left. She carried herself with poise and dignity but inside she was dying.
You were nowhere to be found. He spotted Liz who was chatting with some friends. “Where is she?”
“Auctions over. She left.”
“Shit. Thanks.”
“Andy, be gentle with her. Idiots.”
He ran to the valet and jumped in his car to race home. When he got out he noticed a suit case in the back of your car. The elevator was taking forever. He took the stairs two at a time to reach you before you got away.
He heard your heels clacking on the hardwood. Clothes were everywhere. “Y/N?”
“Bedroom.” You were still in your pretty dress. Still all made up throwing things in another suitcase.
“Going somewhere?”
“Hotel.”
“Mind telling me why?” His voice was hoarse like he had been screaming.
“The way you held her…you kissed her.” He grabbed your hands to make you look at him but you yanked them away. “This was stupid. I should have never gotten involved with you in the first place. Married men never leave. Please get out of my way, Andy. I have to go.”
“You think this was a mistake?” Slow tears rolled down his face. He undid his bow tie and sat down. “I don’t. I’m glad we met.”
“Why? Because I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. So why are you glad?”
“Because you reminded me what it felt like to be cared for. To feel loved. You showed me what I had been missing for a long time now.”
“Happy to have helped.” You continued emptying drawers.
“Please stop packing. Please.” You wouldn’t look at him. He tried grabbing you several times but you moved beyond his reach. “Damn it! Why? Why do you always run when things get hard?”
“I’m not running.”
“No? So Chicago just came up? Or did you put out your resume the second you heard I got the job you wanted?”
Your cheeks heated. “You know how this business works. If I got passed over this time, they’ll keep doing it.”
“Right. And tonight? The second things get weird you run.”
“You kissed her!” You were trying not to cry.
“I know. I was sad. We’ve been Andy and Lori for the majority of our lives. Tonight felt so final. I know we’ll always have Jacob but, there is nothing else there. Please. I am so in love with you. Please.” He dropped to his knees and hugged you tight around your waist.
“Andy, you have to let me go.” He pressed his face into your stomach and broke down. “Andy? Sweetie? Come on. Let go.”
“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll let you walk out of that door. I’ll never contact you again. But I know you do.”
“Stop….”
“Aren’t you tired of running?” You were tired. You ran away from your family, former lovers, dead end jobs. You wanted to finally be settled. Leave with a clean break. There was nothing clean about this. If you said you loved him there was no going back. This would be at least three years of a long distance relationship because he won’t leave Jacob. You didn’t want him to leave his son. This would be you exhibiting a level of trust you weren’t sure you had. He fell in love with you so fast. In your absence, what would stop him from falling for someone else? You were so weak when it came to Andy. Fucking perfect at everything Andy fucking Barber. Why couldn’t you shake him? Why couldn’t you just walk away like you have been trying to do since the first time you had sex?
BECAUSE WE LOVE HIM YOU DUMB TWAT. Your brain screamed. You couldn’t make your mouth work. You ran your fingers through his hair, “I love you, Andy.”
He pulled you down onto the floor and kissed you with abandon. “Say that again.” he whispered against your mouth.
“I love you. I love you. God help me, I love you.” A smile was plastered on his face for the rest of the night. Packing could wait.
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rosieroxy117 · 3 years
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All seven dorms x Fem!Reader | The beginning...
This is a series that will be divided into different parts because of how long it is, and because it will be based of what happens in Twisted Wonderland. (Events not included)
But I will not be making chapters about chapter 6 and 7 until they are released, so I know what happens for the overblots :>
I’ll be adding my OC’s, I will most probably make art of them and add the pictures of them in the story as it progresses.
I'll also be adding in my AU where there are a few female students in NRC that arrive the same year as Yuu and there is two dorm leaders of each dorm. One female, one male.
I originally posted this on Wattpad because of a request but it was more like an OC x All seven dorms. So I decided to upload the reader insert on tumblr.
But I will keep that part that stipulates that
(Y/n) is very tall- taller then Malleaus even-
I don’t think there is anything more to say so have fun reading!~
_______________________________
(Y/n) sighed dreamily as she stared at her screen filled with the twisted wonderland cast.
"Oh how I wish you's were real... Or how magic actually existed! That would be so cool!" (Y/n) giggled as her (h/c) hair shimmered in the light.
(Y/n)’s eyes suddenly became droopy as a sudden drowsiness overcome her.
'Why am I....... Feeling tired all of a sudden....' Were her last thoughts before falling unconscious.
Welcome (Y/n) (L/n)..
To the villains world....
(Y/n) opened her eyes slowly, hearing nothing but static, feeling pain in her head as well.
She slowly blinked noticing how the atmosphere had changed.
'Where am I?' (Y/n) thought as she looked around, she was in a hall, somewhere that looked oddly familiar.
To her side was a big brown door, the door was probably twice the size of herself.
'I wonder if I'll be able to find anyone in there- wait...' (Y/n) thought as she furrowed her brows.
'Is this some sort of isekai!?- COOL! IVEALWAYSWANTEDTOBEINONE!' She thought as she stood up from the ground with stars in her eyes.
'Wait- back on to the subject at hand... I don't actually know where I am...' She sweat dropped as she looked around.
She shrugged then decided to open the big ass door.
A few heads turned her way as she took in the appearance of the new room.
There was a fountain right in the back with people behind it. And there was a large mirror above the fountain.
There were also a bunch of chairs before the fountain, a vast majority of cloaked humanoid figures sat on them.
But what caught her attention the most was a male in a school uniform and a familiar raccoon cat like monster in the center of the room.
"(Y/n)?" The male asked dumbfoundedly as he let go of the cat.
"Yuu? What are you doing here?" (Y/n) asked but then finally processed the whole situation.
The mirror...
The cloaks...
The raccoon cat like monster....
This was Twisted Wonderland, and she had seemed to be in it along with one of her childhood friends Yuu.
Her eyes then glistened as she then ran towards Yuu.
"O MY GOSH THIS IS SO COOL!" She jumped up and down with a happy grin.
Her hoodie had fallen down because of her jumping revealing her (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair.
"Wait.. Do you know where we are?" Yuu asked hopefully.
"Yeah! It's that game I was talking about long ago!" (Y/n) huffed as she stopped jumping up and down.
"Fngaaah, this girl is so tal- WAIT HOW IS THERE A GIRL HERE!?" Grims jaw dropped.
"MAGIK!" (Y/n) cheered with jazz hands while Yuu sweat dropped.
"Sorry to ruin this little reunion you's seem to be having... Can we get along with the ceremony?.." The headmaster asked as he eyed them suspiciously.
"Um... I don't even know what we are supposed to be doing..." Yuu said while rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"Youstandinfrontofthemirrorandthenit'llaskyouforyournameandyoutellityournameIt'sprettysimpleyaknow." (Y/n) said making Yuu confused.
"wha?- I want to go home, I have an important match tomorrow...” Yuu said.
"Huh.... You do.... Oh well!~" (Y/n) cheered.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN OH WELL!?" Yuu shouted back making (Y/n) giggle.
"We are in a world of magiiiiiic~~~~ So that means this place is so much cooler then our world!" (Y/n) whispered with stars in her eyes.
"Nope, I'm going home." Yuu said as he held his kendo stick(sword?) beginning to walk out.
Grim then used his flames to creat a scene so all eyes were on him, which was quite successful as Yuu stopped moving to turn around.
"Then I could take his place!" Grim cheered. The students began to whisper and laugh at Grim.
"What do you think your doing!?" Crowley shouted.
"Unlike that dumb human, I can actually use magic! So let me in the school instead!" Grim grinned.
"Dumb!?" Yuu growled angrily at Grim who waved him off.
"I can show more proof that I'm very capable at magic as well!" Grim said as he began to use more of his flames to ignite the room.
The students were all yelling from how their cloaks were burning or how the fire hurt.
"What the!" Yuu shouted as he watched Grim use his flames.
While (Y/n) was just watching in innocent delight.
From what (Y/n) knew, Riddle was supposed to come over and stop Grim. Just a few seconds after she thought of that Riddle stood up and began walking towards the cat.
(Y/n) just watched in awe as he made his way over to the cat, glared at Grim as he shot fire at Riddle.
Unexpectedly, Yuu ran over to Riddle and tackled him to the ground.
(Y/n) snorted before starting to laugh at Yuu, making him look back at (Y/n) with a dumbfounded look.
Yuu just shook his head then looked back at Riddle.
"Are you okay?" Yuu asked as Riddle just blinked a few times before turning angry.
"JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR TALKING TO!?" Riddle shouted before pushing Yuu off of him.
Riddle then stood up but just stared in slight surprise as the cat was now eating tuna.
(Y/n) giggled as she was crouched beside Grim while petting him.
Yuu got up and just stared at her with an angry look.
"You could've done that long ago!" Yuu shouted as (Y/n) just looked up at the with a blank face.
"But that would've been boring... Plus I knew you were going to tackle Riddle so I didn't do anything." (Y/n) giggled.
"WAIT SO YOU KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!?" Riddle asked furiously as (Y/n) stood up and dusted her cloak off.
"Ye- oh my gosh your shorter then I imagined." (Y/n) said as she stared down at Riddle who just stared up at her with a red face. (From anger)
"Awe! So cute! Your always so angry but your still cute!" (Y/n)’s eyes glistened.
Riddle blushed (but it wasn't noticeable).
"I AM NOT CUT- WAIT! Who's that cat!? Because Laws of the Queen of Hearts : number-"
"Number 23 'One shall never bring a cat into festivals'." (Y/n) cut Riddle off with a mocking tone.
Everyone just stared at her with a dumbfounded expression.
"Your such a weirdo- how do you even know that?" Yuu asked.
"Who do you think I am! Even a idiot would know that rule-" (Y/n) gasped dramatically.
Riddle scoffed as they continued to bicker, he made his way towards Grim who was now sleeping and pulled his pen out.
"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!-"
"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" (Y/n) and Riddle said at the same time, a collar appeared around Grims neck as everyone stared at (Y/n) with a weird look.
"Don't even ask! I know everything and anything!- well not really but I do at the same time!" (Y/n) cheered as Yuu sweat dropped.
"Wha-" "Can you at least not say what I'm going to say every single minute?.." Riddle squinted his eyes at (Y/n).
Riddle then walked towards Yuu and pointed his pen at Yuu.
"And you! The audacity of the likes of you to insult me! That is the same as insulting the Queen of Hearts herself! I shall have your head if you ever were to insult me again!" Riddle glared at Yuu making him gulp.
"Understood?.." Riddle said, Yuu nodded frantically.
Riddle then walked back to his spot by the Dorm leaders while Yuu slowly made his way behind (Y/n).
"Why didn't you get in trouble?" Yuu sulked.
"Because I'm just cool that way." (Y/n) stated proudly.....
"Sir, you mentioned before that you had no magic. But does your fiend have magic?.." Crowley asked.
"Nope, at least I don't think I have em. Unless this is a isekai and i now have powers- that would be so cool!" (Y/n) gleamed as Crowley sweat dropped.
"Then I'm afraid the both of you will be sent back home. Come to the mirror and picture your homes." Crowley said as the two of them walked towards the mirror.
(Y/n) walked confidently since she already knew that they wouldn't be able to return.
They stopped in front of the mirror and pictured their home......
"O mirror of darkness... Guide these ones back to where they belong!" Crowley said.
.
.
"Hmmm... Nothing happened." (Y/n) said.
"Because it is nowhere to be found young one." The mirror replied.
"Huh?" Crowley asked dumbfoundedly.
"That can't be true! We were both picturing it!- why isn't it working (Y/n)!?" Yuu asked in disbelief.
"Erm, no one actually knows at the moment." Yuri said nonchalantly.
"And where exactly are you two from?..." Crowley asked inquisitively.
"From Japan!" The both of them said.
"Japan? Ive never heard of a place such as Japan... I am of course well aware that come from every corners of this world. You two aren't lying are you two?" Crowley asked.
"If no one knows about Japan then we'll go back by oursel-"
"It's helpless... We can't return." (Y/n) said, Yuu froze in place when he heard (Y/n) say that.
"What do you mean!?" Yuu asked with wide eyes.
"Well- it's not that we can't actually leave it's just that I don't know how to leave yet. Hell we could be stuck here forever because of that." (Y/n) said.
"Why you seem a little happy about that don't you.." Crowley said.
"It's because where we are from it's quite boring. Although I'm going to miss my figurines and games.." (Y/n) cried.
(Y/n) sighed then looked to the side to see that Yuu had left.
"Wait- where is Yuu?.." (Y/n) asked with a dumbfounded look, she then looked back at the big ass doors to see them slightly open.
(Y/n) began rushing towards where she had thought Yuu would've gone to. She didn't have to go too far as he had came back.
"Did you find your way home?." Crowley asked as he walked over.
"No..." Yuu said as he dropped his sword (His kendo stick, thing-)
"Have you tried contacting a friend?" Yuus eyes lit up at that and he hurriedly tried to call someone.
"I have no signal..." Yuu grumbled.
"Have we truly transported worlds?..." Yuu said as he looked down.
"Yea, duhhh. That's what I've been TRYING to tell you this whole time!" (Y/n) said.
"But your a bit too calm.." Crowley said inquisitively.
"It's because I know what's happening, I know what's going to happen as well." (Y/n) said.
"Are you telling the truth?.." Crowley asked.
"Yeah, just can't tell you what does happen because that would cause the butterfly effect." (Y/n) cheered.
Crowley nodded then put his hand up to his chin in thought.
"There is a vacant building that was once used for a dormitory! I could lend it to the two of you if you two want!" Crowley said.
"Oh how gracious I am!" Crowley laughed.
"It's the best place we have for the moment Yuu. Gonna have to say yes." (Y/n) said.
Yuu only nodded with a sigh.
.
"Honestly! How did the opening ceremony end up like that!" Riddle said as he walked with Cater and Trey on his sides.
"Now now, everything was settled in the right?" Trey answered.
"Well it could've been settled if that girl had done something sooner as well!" Riddle huffed making Trey chuckle.
"She was pretty cute yeah? She looked really nice too!" Cater cheered with a grin.
"We should hurry! All the first years are at the welcome party!" Cater said again.
"Thank you, but is everything ready? Is the venue prepared according the Queens of Hearts rules? Are the roses painted sequently in red and white?" Riddle asked.
"Natura-" Cater had been cut off by a student hopping towards their way, they wore a very large top hat while gold fluffy bunny ears sticked out of it.
They just eye the figure for a little while as they passed them seemingly going the same way as them.
"Okaaaay.... As I was saying! Everything is ready!" Cater said with a raised brow.
"Very well, let us head to the dorm. If any trouble occurs, you'll be losing your heads as well. Got it?" Riddle said.
"Yes prefect!" Cater and Trey said in unison.....
"What a charming.... building?..." Yuu said as he stared at the rundown building.
"It is isn't!" Crowley said, the three then entered the building.
"Could use a little lady's touch..." (Y/n) sweat dropped as she looked around at all the old paintings, spiderwebs, and broken furniture in the hall....
Don’t worry- there will be more parts sooner or later ;))))))
PEACE OUT!-
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deiliamedlini · 3 years
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WIP Wednesday
I wrote this last night and really don’t know where I’m going with it because I wrote another section of this that’s completely different from this first part, but I’m having too much fun so this might become a long oneshot or like a two/three chapter short fic eventually. I signed into my Guild Wars account for the first time in forever to watch the chat and apparently Lion’s Arch isn’t as interesting as it used to be. Not that any of that is really relevant. 
This is Zelda and the Champions as internet friends playing a MMORPG video game called Hyrule Warriors. 
~
Zelda Harkinian loved Fridays. Not that it was a rare thing to be obsessed with the weekend, but she maybe loved it a little too much. After a week of lesson plans, and cleaning the classrooms, and sneezing students, and emails asking for an extension on a paper that wasn’t even due yet, she relished the escape the weekend provided. Granted, she still had to grade about a hundred tests, but that was a problem for Sunday or even Monday.
Smiling down at her roommate, a kitten she’d raised when she found it in the street all alone, Zelda fed her girl—whom she’d named Duchess because she had every intent of treating her like royalty—and played with her for a bit before throwing down her bag in her room and then grabbed a water and a granola bar before heading to her desk. She flipped her laptop open and booting up Hyrule Warriors, her favorite open world MMORPG.
Her internet sucked, so she grabbed her phone to aimlessly scroll to see if there was any news or updates. But it was pretty dull.
Instead, she thought back to how this whole weekend ritual began.
She’d been in a cavern just off of Death Mountain for about three days killing fire keese, lizalfos, and beamos. As a mage, her AOE skills made short work of the larger groups, hitting them all at once. It was especially useful here because her main specialties were water and light, but she struggled when boss fights came out. The NPCs weren’t great teammates, and she constantly found herself resurrecting far from the boss, only to make a long run with a health penalty that ended with her getting killed again, until her heath penalty was maxed out and she had to restart for any hope of succeeding. As a mage, her light armor made her vulnerable to physical attacks, and this boss was very physical.
Zelda didn’t like interacting with people in this game. It was massively popular, and the chat was always running. Sometimes, she’d just sit at an outpost and watch people talk. Her favorite interactions were often the random ones. She’d begun to look up the acronyms everyone used in chat just to understand them better. WTS= want to sell.
Indigo2421: WTS: Guardian Short Sword 4k rupees
Indigo2421WTS: Guardian Short Sword 4k rupees
Indigo2421WTS: Guardian Short Sword 4k rupees
Britneigh4Horses: WTS My mother. 1 rupee. Will pay postage fee.
But after her days of suffering in the lonely caverns in Death Mountain, she relented.
A quick search had her hands shaking, but she typed quickly so she couldn’t back out after she’d hit enter.
xPrincessZx: LFG Dodongo’s Cavern
Holding her breath, she’d waited in the hopes of a private message being sent to her.
One did.
(PM): ThunderstruckQueen: What missin are doing there?
(PM): ThunderstruckQueen: Mission*
(PM): xPrincessZx: I have to kill the Dodongo boss for the main story
ThunderstruckQueen would like to join your party.
Biting her nails, she’d accepted.
(PM): RockRoast12345: Still need someone?
(PM): xPrincessZx: Yes! That would be great! Thanks!
RockRoast12345 would like to join your party.
That had been how it started: A goron warrior with a Warhammer and some serious defensive moves joined as the tank to take as much damage for the team as he could stand, and a Gerudo Paladin had joined her party. Zelda was jealous of the purchase-only red hairstyle the Gerudo had for her character. She had a sword and shield, but her body flickered with elemental lightening magic. In-game purchase effects.
They’d defeated Dodongo with ease, and had gone on several missions together that day, taking down their storylines with relative ease. But they couldn’t function with the NPC healer who barely functioned at all.
So, ThunderstruckQueen had taken to the map chat and put out a request.
ThunderstruckQueen: I found someone. She’s a Zora Cleric. Level 40
RockRoast12345: Let her in! I want to get this one over with
Rutella Zoran IV would like to join your party.
After that, the four of them realized they worked so well together that they’d formed a guild. The Champions. ThunderstruckQueen paid the guild fee, bought a hall, and began decorating it with merchants, and chests. Zelda still shuddered, wondering what she did to have so many rupees ready to go. Needless to say, she made herself the leader.
Some days, they didn’t play together. Other times, only two of them were on. But on weekends, they all came together.
But it had been a Monday when Zelda played, and she’d been alone. Having already tossed her tissue box across her room in frustration, she debated making a new character with more defense, but she sucked it up and went into the Castle Town map, ready to ask for help. She couldn’t wait until she could get to be a higher level. As it was, she’d only gotten to these level 40 areas as a 32 because of Rutella.
Suddenly, a random Hylian man in green with a fancy sword and shield ran up to her and bowed. Zelda scoffed at her computer screen, unsure if she was supposed to respond.
She didn’t need to.
(PM): WildKnightOut2: Hey Princess
(PM): xPrincessZx: Hello?
(PM): WildKnightOut2: Jst wondering if u have a spare flower crown from yesterday’s festival. Missed it. Will pay
Zelda pulled up her inventory, forgetting she was still wearing her flower crown from the Flower Fest. It must have been what tipped him off. In fact, she had four spares.
(PM): zPrincessZx:  Yeah, I do. Come to the chest and I’ll trade.
(PM): WildKnightOut2: Thx
She’d never done a trade with anyone who wasn’t in her guild, so she’d felt nervous running to grab it.
(PM): WildKnightOut2: How much u want?
(PM): xPrincessZx: Actually, I’ll give it to you free if you’re willing to help me with a quest? Or 10k.
WildKnightOut2 would like to join your party.
She accepted and watched his character appear in the corner of her screen.
WildKnightOut2: That’s a rip off, btw. Crowns are with 15k at least. Don’t undersell
xPrincessZx: Thanks. I didn’t realize. I’m still kind of new.
WildKnightOut2: Howd u get out here then?
xPrincessZx: I had a run from a friend in my guild.
WildKnightOut2: Got room for a warrior in there?
Zelda introduced him to the other Champions when they’d signed back on, and after a few weeks, Zelda had leveled up enough that she didn’t need to constantly rely on a teammate. But still. She liked Wild the best after ThunderstruckQueen.
They’d brought in a Rito Ranger named TheBestYouveNeverMet, which immediately set Wild off.
(PM): WildKnightOut2: should I aggro a group over so he has to fight them for us?
(PM): xPrincessZx: No! Don’t do that! I’ll get sent over to deal with them!
(PM): xPrincessZx: HEY! I SEE YOU ON THE MAP!
(PM): xPrincessZx: WILD GET BACK TO THE GROUP
On the mini-map, she saw a hoard of red coming at them and rolled her eyes before joining TheBest to kill them with area attacks. Rutella stayed back to heal them, but Thunder and Rock both continued on, unfazed.
ThunderstruckQueen: Wild you’re an idiot
But that was then. This was now.
They’d been together for months as a guild, and now, the six of them knew how the others worked.
If Wild or TheBest took off on their own, no one would follow. They’d both been killed numerous times in an attempt to piss the other off. Zelda had learned to stay with Thunder and Rock. Rutella flitted between running back to revive the idiots, or sticking with the smarter members while letting them heal on their own.
(PM): WildKnightOut2: u wound me
Zelda chuckled, but he wasn’t done.
(PM): WildKnightOut2: After all ive done for u
(PM): WildKnightOut2: u leave me to die
(PM): xPrincessZx: Don’t run off next time
It was a Wednesday when she and Wild were playing alone, so they freely used party chat for ease. She’d surpassed his level, and towered as a 93 while he was an 87.
WildKnightOut2: Hang on. Fuzzball wants food
Zelda stared at his character on her screen, wondering if he looked anything like that avatar. Blonde hair, muscular, piercing blue eyes. She’d made her character look like herself, so it wasn’t hard to imagine others had. Plus, he was the only Hylian. She highly doubted that RockRoast12345 was actually a giant rock-man, or that Rutella Zoran IV was a short fish lady.
She knew everything about these people except their names, faces, and voices.
She knew that ThunderstruckQueen was a single mother who called her daughter Ri on chat. She was a chief of police, and had a few hundred of her force to look out for. Still, she wanted to quit soon to join the military reserve forces now that her daughter was getting older. Devoted and loyal, Thunder occasionally snapped when everyone would start fighting with each other, though it was usually directed at TheBest and Wild, the annoyance sometimes extended out to others.
She knew that RockRoast12345 was older than all of them and had a young grandson. He’d bonded with Thunder over their children at first, and then, without meaning to, they became the parents of the group. Recently, Rock had retired from working as a supervisor in a mine, and gaming had become his way of relieving some of that boredom. But he told the best stories when they were idling around, just stories about anything, and they were always captivating. Also, he was afraid of dogs.
She knew that Rutella Zoran IV was the daughter of a politician. She cared for her little brother like he was her own, and sometimes, he took control of her character, proudly revealing that his real name was Sidon. She was in school to be a doctor, and that made her family prouder than anything. She lived and breathed for her family.
TheBestYouveNeverMet was a pilot. His schedule was the most hectic out of everyone’s because of the flights, but he was sarcastic to the core, and sometimes, the sarcasm was simply rude and definitely didn’t translate well over chat. He was superior, and since he’d been playing the game longest, he thought it entitled him to make more decisions. But Zelda knew from her private conversations with him that deep down, he was sweet and caring. He’d always be the first to ask her how her day was, and he’d learned some of her students’ names to ask if they’d been nuisances.
But Zelda spent the most time talking to WildKnightOut2, so she knew the most about him. At first, they’d bonded over the fact that they both had cats. His was called Fuzzball, an orange, fat cat that needed to exercise more. He’d tried to leash him, but Fuzz wasn’t interested. Sometimes, Fuzz would crawl over the keys, send Wild running, and send chat a long stream of letters.
He was funny and made comments in her private chat while they were playing that had her roaring at times.
He was a rock-climbing instructor and in his free time, he was a free solo climber. When she’d looked it up, she’d been horrified to see that he basically climbed mountains without a harness or ropes, and a fall could kill him. She’d asked if he was good at it, or just did it for fun, and his answer had been an ambiguous “yes.”
She knew about his family. He didn’t live near them, but he kept in contact with his grandparents, his father, and his little sister.
WildKnightOut2: k back. Where we going princess?
xPrincessZx: I need to farm for new armor out in the Haunted Wasteland. Do you need to do anything?
WildKnightOut2: I need to help u farm in the haunted wasteland. What do you need?
xPrincessZx: 10 Rubies
WildKnightOut2: damn ok I have 2 u can have so u only need 8
xPrincessZx: Thanks. How’d that party go last night?
WildKnightOut2: Sucked
xPrincessZx: Cool details
WildKnightOut2: If ud been there, ud have hated it
xPrincessZx: Why?
WildKnightOut2: Bunch of self-absorbed idiots. Like TheBest is
xPrincessZx: Lol. He’s not that bad.
WildKnightOut2: if u say so
They headed into the Wasteland looking for red poes that had rare drops for rubies. She and Wild took out a few groups before they started to struggle. Neither could play and talk at the same time fast enough to warn the other that something was happening, and they both ended up at the shrine of resurrection more times than they cared to admit.
xPrincessZx: Hey Wild. This might sound weird, but do you have that gaming app where we could just maybe voice chat?
xPrincessZx: Unless you’re not comfortable with that. We can invite the others, and when we play together, and it would probably make life a thousand times easier
xPrincessZx: But it’s okay if you don’t want to
WildKnightOut2: yeah I have it
Oh, Zelda thought to herself. That was easy.
xPrincessZx: Do you want to add me? I have the same name
She watched her phone like it was food in the microwave, only occasionally glancing at her computer to see if Wild had sent her another message. She drummed her fingers and her leg started to bounce until her screen lit up.
WildKnight has sent you a friend request.
She hastily hit accept and grabbed her headphones from the drawer before typing into her phone.
xPrincessZx: Your name is missing a few things here.
WildKnight: Yeah HW already had someone with this name so I added on
xPrincessZx: The meaning completely changes
WildKnight: which do you like better?
Zelda froze, unable to make her fingers type. Was he flirting? Was that how people flirted online? She was really good at reading body language cues, and that was always how she knew someone was flirting. But this? There was no context! How was she supposed to know?
xPrincessZx: Which fits your personality more?
That was a safe way of getting out of answering while still sounding maybe like she was flirting. Right?
WildKnight: this one
Zelda’s face warmed up and she put her head in her hands, unsure how to respond. How does she respond to that? What if he wasn’t flirting? What if he was.
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ecoamerica · 22 days
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youtube
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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'Siri Am I Having a Stroke?’ Sofia the First
Soulmate!Daichi x Reader Soulmate!Tendou x Reader
a/n: lmao, yall finna know what kind of soulmate au this
when your soulmate gets hurt, you kinda get hurt too
the music your soulmate listens to or constantly sings is always playing in your head
request:  Can I request a daichi, tendou, and aone soulmate au headcanon 🤲🏽😩 they're my faves, I wanted to add some more but there could be a limit? I'll request again next time ^^
a/n: sorry anon but ill only do daichi and tendou bc im not very familiar with aone :( but theres not really a limit so go ahead!!
requests open!!
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so anyways
for most of your life, you thought you didnt even have a soulmate
there were no scars, no bruises,
nothing
this other half of yours was completely silent and you really thought that youd die forever
but, you
you were a wild chile and you were the type to go playing outside w your brothers and get a lot of cuts
maybe that was why you thought you didnt have a soulmate bc when your soulmate does get hurt, you wouldnt see it since youd think it was one of your own
now, daichi
he worried for you
new scars and bruises would appear on his arms overnight and he fussed over the fact that you would constantly getting hurt
were you in a toxic environment?
were these intentional?
but he would try and heal them, thinking that it would heal you too bc he didnt want you to be hurt
uwu daichi luv
he would even kiss them better bc his mom told him that kisses help them heal faster
then,
during middle school, daichi found his love for volleyball
he started training and being more active and that caused him a lot of bruises and pain
meanwhile w you,
youve mellowed out a bit
so when you entered middle school,
you were actually ecstatic to find that you had a soulmate bc you would find bruises on your hands and arms
you found out the afternoon of the first day of middle school
daichi was in the gym, practicing during lunch, and he hit a spike that bruised his fingers and he received a really powerful ball
you were sitting in class, completely bored out of your mind so you just doodled on your paper
then you flinched at the sudden pain and saw the formation of the beautiful mix of blue, purple,green, bruise
yall are in different schools btw
you shrieked and stood up, cutting off your teacher and surprising everyone in the room
‘my soulmate!’
they were like, ‘okay and?’
the entire day, you admired the colors, not even minding the hurt bc this was it!!
!!!!
your soulmate was real!!!
but daichi was worried that you were also going through the same pain and soreness from practice
and you were
after the shock and happiness of knowing you in fact do have a soulmate,
youve started getting annoyed
was this what he felt whenever you injured yourself during your younger years?
bc this waas annoying
you were constantly fatigued, tired, sore
even the mere action of getting up in the morning sucked and you actually fell down the stairs due to the soreness of your legs and you dropped your chopsticks due to the hurt in your fingers
youve concluded that your soulmate was either an athlete or in a toxic environment
during the walk to school, you raised your arms and watched a new bruise forming
it was a truly beautiful sight but the stiffness and hurt weighed it down
this was your only form of communication with your soulmate and you were sad bc you wanted to be there for him and help heal his bruises and scars
one of your friends suggested a crazy thought of hurting yourself to write a small message which you instantly turned down bc thats too crazy and you will not do that
as the years went on, you were starting to get more worried each day that you wont be meeting your soulmate soon
for almost 6 years, youve wandered over to every athletic club in your school or nearby schools to find if there was even a person who had the same bruises as you
ngl, some lied just bc they wanted you as their soulmate uwu
one of your classmates in seijoh, iwaizumi hajime, has understood your dilemma since he was one of the ones youve expressed this concern to
youve been classmates for 3 years and youve always been coincidentally sat next to each other so youre close
i really cant resist my mans
‘y/n, i really think your soulmate is a volleyball player’
you rolled your eyes as you continued taking out your bento
‘iwa, ive checked your team, multiple times, and none of them are my soulmate! ive even checked other schools too since my brothers have connections there. but still nothing’
he felt bad for you, truly
he already found his when yall started high school, almost immediately, and you were so jealous
‘but those bruises on your arm can only be from volleyball. the way its placed, its like receiving an intense ball while the fingers might be because he spikes the ball’
you sighed before leaning your chin on your hand
‘okay, great buddha iwa-chan. enlighten me as to why you think so’
his eye twitched at the ridiculous nickname
‘y/n, im a volleyball player. ive been playing since i was like 6 and im the ace. i have those same exact bruises’
‘WHAT! IWA-CHAN ARE YOU MY SOULMATE?!’
‘YOU IDIOT I ALREADY HAVE MINE!’
but you mulled it over for a few days
yea, it would make sense, right?
but it still doesnt add up that youve literally visited every single club around with the help of being iwa’s friend and going to their matches
however,
due to karasuno not having practice matches w seijoh or not advancing far enough to play against them, youve never really interacted with that team
besides, the times they actually played against each other, youve been busy due to having to do interships, part time jobs, and studying since it was your last year of high school
it was during the second interhigh that iwa finally got you to go watch them play
‘come on, y/n. shittykawa misses you and matsun and maki keep demanding your support’
‘iwa, what-’
so you found yourself at the stands, just watching the games until seijoh actually plays
then you saw the team, known as karasuno, enter the gym to start their warm-ups
your heart started beating really fast and you were kinda freaking out bc what was happening
‘siri am i having a stroke?’
daichi was feeling the same thing
he thought it was just the adrenaline of playing a game but in all of his years of play8ing volleyball, he hasnt felt this intense beating of his heart
he even had to lean on suga for support bc it felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest
‘daichi, you okay?’
suga worriedly asked and placed a hand on his forehead to check his temp
daisuga rights yall
he didnt want to worry the team so he nodded, just waving it off
he was captain so he shouldnt worry the others
oikawa and iwa entered the stands and were confused as to why you were looking around with wide eyes like an owl
fukurodani vibes
‘y/n-chan, what’s wrong?’
oikawa asked and you looked at them, surprised and shocked
they were lowkey freaked out bc what was happening
‘oikawa-san, my heart-’
you mumbled and pointed to your chest
his smile wobbled bc you just started at him and it was starting to scare him a bit
since oikawa hasnt found his soulmate yet, he wasnt familiar with the feeling of being in the same vicinity as his other half
but iwa did
and he was smiling
‘you owe me so much, y/n’
‘IWA! I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO DIE!’
karasuno was going against johzenji and daichi wasnt exactly in his best game
to others, he looked like he was doing great but he wasnt feeling good and the beat of his heart was still very fast
this distraction caused him and tanaka to collide and everything went to hell
the entire time, your arms were crying and you were just sweating from the pain but you were also sweating w the possibility of your soulmate being either in johzenji or karasuno
but that was answered when daichi got hurt and you just collapsed, also falling unconscious
iwa, who returned from getting drinks, ran to your slumped form and oikawa, who was focused on the match and didnt notice, shrieked at your unconscious form
‘y/n? y/n, wake up’
everyone in the stands stared at your unconscious form and they started talking, eventually catching the attention of the karasuno team
suga, who was fussing over daichi, heard that a girl also fell unconscious
omg what if
oikawa was grinning at the sight of your bruised cheek bc you finally found your soulmate so you would shut up about it
iwa carried you to the nurse and you actually woke up as he placed you on the bed, conviently beside the karasuno captain
‘w-what-’
but he only smiled
‘congratulations, y/n’
bih what
congratulations for what
the nurse went over from beside daichi and she giggled at the meeting of soulmates
you sat up, wincing at the pain in your tooth
‘ow’
that caught daichi’s attention and he stared at you and your arms before looking at his
they were the exact same
‘i think,,,, i think we’re soulmates’
that made you quickly look at him and noticed the big bruise on his face that was like copy paste on you
‘oh god!’
you cowered and had your hands over your mouth in surprise
he froze, starting to feel insecure that he wasnt what you wanted
‘is something wrong-’
‘you’re HOT!!’
you shrieked unconsciously and when you finally realized it, you hurriedly pulled the blanket over your form
lmao gurl noooooo
daichi started laughing and he thought you were cute
straightforward
but cute
‘oi, come on. i want to see your pretty face’
yes police officer. this is the man who stole my uwus
you peaked your head out from your blanket cocoon and he smiled softly
‘i’m sawamura daichi, by the way. 3rd year’
‘l-l/n y/n. same y-year’
‘so? you expected me to be this?’
you shook your head
‘i mean, iwa told me you could be a volleyball player. but i didnt expect the universe to like me enough to give me a greek god as my soulmate’
im disowning y/n yall
he turned flustered and looked away to hide his blush
‘youre not too bad yourself, you know. youre actually more beautiful than i thought’
‘sir! dont say that to me i be catching feelings way too fast for that!’
i-i cannot w you
he laughed out loud before wincing, causing you to wince too
‘but are you okay, though? i mean,, it must hurt’
but you shook your head
‘i should be asking you that. does it hurt as much as it looks?’
‘nah, its bearable’
you continued talking about your childhood and you actually clarified that you were just rambunctious when you were younger so you got hurt pretty often
‘i really thought you needed to be saved or something’
you smirked
‘oh? my prince charming? knight-in-shining-armor? knight prince daichi?’
he stared at you, a blush creeping up again
‘are you always this bold?’
you shrugged
‘meh. im friends w oikawa tooru’
‘oh. makes sense’
lmao
you both completely forgot about the fact that his face literally got hurt and his tooth was gone bc you have been talking like two best friends who got separated
but you had to separate at some point too
the beautiful manager entered the clinic and asked if daichi was okay enough
‘yea, im fine. i can go now, i guess’
you nodded sadly
‘okay. bye, daichi’
he furrowed his eyebrows
‘but wait for me later, okay? ill treat you to something after i win this match’
from your bed, you crossed your arm with a smug smile
‘oh? youre confident, captain’
‘of course. ill win bc this victory is for you’
you bashfully smiled and chuckled
‘go hurry and win! i expect that date as soon as possible, captain!’
the deadchi memes are literally scaring the new fans and i feel really bad
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bruh hes so cute for what
for his entire life, he had the sofia the first song stuck in his head
it was maybe bc his soulmate was in love w that show or just in love w the song
but either way, he constantly hears it and thinks about it
meanwhile you,
you constantly heard bye bye bye by nsync
of all things, it had to be a boy band
however, you were lucky bc for years it varied on what song would be playing
but for him, it continued to be sofia the first
this drived him to watch the show and he did see the appeal and soon, he started singing it too
omg its such a bop
you were triggered bc the song then switched over to sofia the first and you were like, ‘does he like it too?’
you would be going around the store, holding your mom’s hand, and singing it out loud, hoping to find your soulmate
but he never seemed to hear it
instead, hearing the song in your voice, instead of the show’s
he thought you had such a beautiful voice
then in elementary school, his bullying started and ngl, he was actually hurt by the words other kids said
he still had his cute smile on and acted like it didnt bother by teasing others but he was still sad
did nobody like him?
was he always going to look like a monster?
would you be revolted if you saw him?
then he heard this song in the radio ‘dear insecurity’ and he just couldnt help but keep listening to it
ofc you noticed and you were sad that he was listening to such sad song
he was insecure and you couldnt do anything about it
then you started looking up motivating songs and you started singing the one that you really liked
‘i see your monsters, i see your pain, tell me your problems, i’ll chase them away’
he heard your voice as he was hiding behind the school building and his tears instantly stopped, hearing a different song but he couldnt help but smile
he knew that song was for him
you were out there somewhere and a complete stranger to him but you were the only person who seemed to care
because under that teasing and cheerful personality, he was still human and he was very insecure about himself
but you were always there to encourage him, your voice instantly chasing all the fears away
when he started playing volleyball, he became famous for his efficient blocks and you could hear him singing different songs, all of them just under a minute
you concluded that they were his own songs
sometimes, you laughed bc they were funny songs and catchy so you would memorize it and sing it back to him
this was your only way of communicating back of forth and you were so lucky that you even got to hear your soulmate’s voice
then high school started, meaning your friends started meeting their soulmates one by one until you were the only one who didnt
your school, karasuno, had no one that had the same voice as your soulmate’s
some people even saw you as an extrovert and a people person since you started conversations with strangers easily but this was just your way of finding your other half
with no luck, you started singing your concerns
in no time, ‘thousand miles’ was playing on loop in tendou’s head and he was already feeling your antsy attitude
in retaliation, he starts singing ‘lucky’ by jason mraz and you always turned red, slightly happy that he was practically calling out to you
so even though you suffered through years being alone, you didnt give up on hope and continued your search
now, youd be asking, ‘why cant you or tendou just sing each other’s location?’
yes, young grasshopper, there is an explanation to that
you and tendou collectively agreed to let fate do its work and just wait for the time it happens bc if its meant to be, its meant to be
besides, tendou likes to tease you and he wants to make you wait for him so that the moment you do meet, it would become more special
in your last year of high school, you ended up helping kiyoko in being manager and you were so proud of these boys for making it to the finals
you were excitedly waving an orange flag in support of your team and you screamed with the others as they entered the court
you and yacchi ended up helping tanaka’s sister, saeko, and was setting up the plan for their cheers so you werent exactly focused on your soulmate
but tendou did keep hearing a fight song in your head
then they walked in
shiratorizawa made their presence known and you turned to look at them but locked eyes at the unique looking player
his red hair glinted against the bright lights of the gym and his smirk curled in such an attractive way that you were leaning forward to get a closer look
tendou noticed a stare at him and he saw your surprised yet flustered look
that eye contact made everything fall deaf in your ears and you just heard silence
no song, no cheer, just absolute silence
but you and tendou are practically the same so you thought for the worse that your soulmate has died bc of the silence
dread filled your stomach and you started singing sofia the first in instinct
your mouth moved with the words and you shut your eyes, trying to calm yourself down
his jaw dropped, hearing the familiar voice and song that correlated with your mouth’s movements
‘there you are, little birdie’
semi turned to tendou and saw him with a smile hes never seen before
it was so soft and genuine that he got a little scared
the entire game, you were all depressed bc it continued to be silent in your head
tendou was just teasing you a little bit and he didnt want to think or sing a song bc he wanted it to be a special cliche reunion after he crushes your team
but his famous song ruined it
it blared in your head and it got 2x bass boosted when he sang it out loud, completely disregarding the fact that everyone was listening
‘you!’
you shrieked and pointed to him
he was your soulmate
and he was alive
not dead
everyone, including all players, looked at confusion between you and him but he just waved at you
‘ill talk to you later, little birdie!’
great, he embarrassed you in front of everyone
but you didnt care bc omg he was your soulmate!!
‘omg universe and fate, you actually like me to give me such a handsome soulmate!’
now, youre actually cheering on both teams
one was your home school the other was your soulmate
however,
there could only be one winner
and that winner was karasuno
you noticed the defeated looks of your soulmate and his teammates and you almost bursted into tears
you quickly maneuvered yourself through the people and found the familiar spiky hair standing at the doorway, looking at the gym with a forlorn expression
the others noticed you there, especially ushijima who gave you a nod and a small smile
‘i trust you’ll take care of him’
you nodded shakily, raising a hand in salute
‘y-yes!’
you approached him and his teary eyes almost made you bolt into his arms but you calmed yourself
instead, you didnt say anything
but you did sing
‘come stop your crying, it will be alright. just take my hand, and hold it tight. i will protect you, from all around you. i will be here, dont you cry.’
tendou looked to his side and saw you there, not looking at him but also looking at the same direction he was previously
‘my name is tendou satori’
despite already hearing his voice, you still turned red and you looked at him, warmth and love present in your eyes
‘and i’m l/n y/n’
‘you have a beautiful voice’
‘and you are beautiful’
that ending for shiratorizawa physically and emotionally and mentally broke me
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callmeelle22 · 3 years
Text
Blue Dream VIII
Pairing: Iris West x Barry Alen
Rating: E
Chapter Word Count: 9, 182
Summary: A series of sporadic dates between Iris and Barry turn into something more, a story in its own making.
Chapter I: Primetime
Chapter II: It's Cool
Chapter III: Anything
Chapter IV: Comfortable
Chapter V: The Way
Chapter VI: Say Yes
Chapter VII: Brave
Chapter VIII: Blue Dream; Her eyes close and she lets herself lie in the feeling: opens a space for him to stay as he slides his tongue against hers; lets the feel of his mouth on her pull her from the dream she swears she’s been living since she first laid eyes on him; stencils the same story back onto him, plotting out a scene that only ends after forever comes and goes. She lets the kiss say what she can’t yet, reminds herself that he’s talking with it too, that he’s telling her what she’d seen in his eyes yesterday, and in his touch the week before, and in the curve of his smiles weeks before that. (Read below or on AO3 linked on the chapter title.)
Chapter IX: He Loves Me
We were coastin' on the coast when you opened my eyes
Made me notice where the ocean was holding the sky, right
I was blinded, your smile shining behind those green eyes
The horizon so enticing, please, say you'll be mine
The second Friday in the month of November finds Iris at home as she usually is, tucked into her living room sofa, a large glass of wine on the coffee table in front of her, right next to a loaded pipe.
This week in particular has been grueling, though in the best way. Her classes are going swimmingly, so much so that she might be able to skip the final in her multimedia journalism course; but that means she has to stay on top of every single assignment, making sure everything she turns in is up to par. Not only that, Her segment on Good Morning, Central City is in less than a week, and with the television promotions for it, there has been an increase in traffic on her blog, an increase in comments on her posts, an increase in stories in her inbox waiting to be told. It’s mind-boggling, and Iris finds herself so giddy, she doesn’t always know what to do with it.
Some of it she channels into Barry. Since opening up to one another after Barry’s visit to his dad, everything about them has been more: more exciting, more passionate, more intimate. Iris can honestly say that she’s never been fucked as well as Barry fucks her, and she can’t decide if that’s just because apparently nothing turns her on more than Barry sliding thick and slow into her and muttering, ‘yes, take all of me, baby; good, good girl,’ or if she feels the way she feels because it’s him, because he is a dream of a man, some fantasy she must have conjured up in a daydream she doesn’t remember having. She finds herself always wanting him: the heavy fullness of him, and the way he smiles at her every time he sees her after they’ve been separated for even minutes; the whispered words of ardor, and how his eyes always track her movements, watching and observing and cataloging; the feel of him lean and long and hard on top of her, and the attention with which he listens to her, validates her.
And when she thinks she needs even a moment from that, there is her Friday night ritual. She’s already showered and dressed in a silk nightgown, this one in a deep purple color with thin straps and an open back. She takes a sip of her wine as she scrolls through her phone looking for a song; she chooses one, don’t wake me up ‘cause i’m in love with all that you are, and then she settles into the sofa corner, pipe in hand. Lighting up, she inhales, and releases.
She is full and high when her phone rings sometime around midnight.
Movements slow, she grabs her phone from where she’d tossed it on the table next to the half-empty carton of pad thai. Barry’s name flashes on the screen over the picture taken of them at Wally’s birthday party. Her smile is easy and so is the absurd little flutter in her belly.
(But high Iris will concede that, while she figures she should be past this stage now, this jittery, nervous stage, she’s not at all ashamed that it is still how she feels, because there is something so delightful about being with someone who gives you butterflies, even as time keeps passing).
Her stomach dips as she brings the phone to her ear. “Hello.”
“Hey, baby.” The sound of his voice, a little bit deeper than normal, a little bit slower than normal, makes her stomach tighten even more.
“Hi, Bear.”
It’s then that she notices the sound in the background, music and loud voices. She thinks she hears someone saying, “Barry, are you talking to your girlfriend?” but then Barry hushes them and comes back onto the line.
“What are you doing, beautiful?”
“What I’m always doing on Friday nights.”
“Getting high in those sexy pajamas you like wearing?”
Iris laughs softly, noting the effect of his voice on her, how even over the phone and even when he’s apparently surrounded by people, it travels, quiet and steady, over her skin.
“Are you drunk, Barry?”
“A little bit,” he says, “mostly tired though.”
Iris shifts on the sofa, snuggling deeper into the couch. “Where are you?”
“I don’t know. At some bar with Cisco and Chester. We were only supposed to grab food and a couple beers but then they had some sort of two for one special happening, and Chester and Cisco are degenerates, so here we are.”
Iris shakes her head at that, and there’s a short pause before Barry speaks again.
“I miss you.”
“You saw me yesterday.” The part of Iris that wants to appear less affected by him is glad that he can’t see the grin that lights her eyes as her cheeks warm, as she bites her bottom lip. “And we talked this morning.”
“Hmmm,” Barry hums. “Tell me you miss me.”
“What if I don’t?” Her taunt is quiet, like the whisper of her hands on her own body, trailing along her thighs at the hem of her nightgown.
There’s another pause and the sound behind lowers a little, becomes duller. Her own music comes to her attention again, you make me see the truth in things, i think that you are, the remedy for everything, it seems that you are, the truth itself ‘cause nothing else can take me so far, and it makes her shiver from the truth of it.
“I wouldn’t believe it,” Barry tells her, finally. “Yeah, I saw you yesterday, but I had you shaking on top of me.”
“Faking it,” she quips back and Barry lets out a small bark of laughter.
“Tell me you miss me, Iris.”
She licks her lips slowly, thinking of last night when she had seen him, the encounter he’s talking about, when he’d had her climb into his lap after dinner at her small little dining table and fucked her right there.
“Tell me, baby.”
“Yeah, I miss you, you cocky jackass.”
His answering chuckle was a low thing, deep and dirty. “Now tell me what your pajamas look like tonight?
“Barry, are you asking me this around your friends?”
“No. I'm standing outside of the bathrooms now. Boys' night shifted when they saw a couple of pretty women and I got tired of fifth-wheeling. And I couldn't stop thinking about you.”
She can picture him, standing in the corner and leaning against a wall, a hand in his pocket as he clutches the phone to his ear; his cheeks are probably rosy with his indulgence and his lips pink from licking at them, his hair messy from touching it.
His voice dips again. “Now tell me.”
Iris can admit to herself that she likes when Barry gets a little stern with her, when his voice deepens and he sounds so sure of what he wants, what he needs from her. It makes goosebumps crawl along her skin, and it does so doubly now, her senses already loose, dipping into the warm, heady place that intoxication takes her.
“It’s a nightgown,” she explains. “Purple. Silk. Stops at the middle of my thighs. Has a low back.”
His groan is loud and clear. “You had to come from one of my dreams. There’s no way you’re real.”
The statement sobers Iris, if only a little, but enough that the smooth and easy flow of her breathing stutters, much like the beat of her heart, stilling until she thinks she’s gonna lose breath, and then hammering back.
“I could say the same for you.”
The responding silence is piercing, expansive, a space where words left still unsaid are scattered along the floor, merely waiting for one of them to pick it up and say it.
“Iris,” he starts, and then he pauses again. “Can I come over? I know it’s your self-care night, and you can tell me no, but I need to… I really just want to see you.”
She doesn’t even think about it. “Yeah, Barry. You can come over.”
Twenty minutes later, she peels herself off of the sofa to open the door for him. He’s standing on the other side, in dark blue chinos and a baby blue and white checkered shirt, his favorite tan desert boots on his feet. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and he’s leaning against the door frame when she pulls it open. His hair is a mess and his jaw is covered in stubble, but other than the faint red tinge in his cheeks, there is nothing that tells her he isn’t as lucid as talking to her had made him seem.
She smiles up at him, aware that her own eyes are probably low and red, but he smiles back, just as softly. He doesn’t come in right away, instead reaching out to pull her to him, one big hand holding the back of her neck. He looks down at her, eyes traveling down the length of her body.
“Hey my good girl,” he greets at last, and before she can respond, he leans down and kisses her. The kiss is chaste at first, one peck and another. Then he pulls back, only enough to scoop her up, gripping her by her waist and settling her in front of him, her legs wrapping easily around his hips. She yelps at the action, but then he’s kissing her again, and they’re moving into the apartment, Iris noting the faint slam of her door behind them.
He carries her to the couch and drops down in the center of it, keeping her atop him, keeping his mouth on hers. The kiss is slow, so slow, the sort of kiss that has no purpose, not one other than allowing them the space to be together. He holds on to her by her hip, free hand trailing up and down the length of her exposed spine, but he doesn’t make any move anywhere else. He seems content to just kiss her, this deep, open-mouthed kiss.
It’s like he’s trying to get inside of her, to climb in and settle down, to take up space with his searing, insidious presence.
It’s as if he’s trying to tell himself that this isn’t a dream, that it’s really her, it’s really them, moaning into each other, holding onto each other, breathing each other in.
It’s as though he’s trying to cement their story, to write it clear into her skin so that she can’t deny it’s veracity, like he’s promising that the only thing she’ll get on the other side of her climax is this, a gentle, effortless sort of fall.
Her eyes close and she lets herself lie in the feeling: opens a space for him to stay as he slides his tongue against hers; lets the feel of his mouth on her pull her from the dream she swears she’s been living since she first laid eyes on him; stencils the same story back onto him, plotting out a scene that only ends after forever comes and goes. She lets the kiss say what she can’t yet, reminds herself that he’s talking with it too, that he’s telling her what she’d seen in his eyes yesterday, and in his touch the week before, and in the curve of his smiles weeks before that.
When he pulls back, Iris cannot say how much time has passed. She only knows that her body has molded to the shape of him, that her heart has found the rhythm of his, that she’s there with him, my afternoon dream when the world is speedin’, i am still sleepin’, in my blue dream.
“What was that about?” she asks him. She stares back at him, and the way he looks at her is more intoxicating than the wine he’d just tasted on her tongue, more so than the weed that so effortlessly floods her bloodstream.
“Told you I missed you,” he replies, voice husky with exhaustion, and likely the arousal she doesn’t think ever really disappears.
She nods, a little dazed. They sit together for a while longer; Iris tucks her head into Barry’s neck and he keeps rubbing his warm hands along her spine. The atmosphere is delicate, peaceful. She takes him in, inhaling the citrusy scent of him, savoring the feel of him so close to her, surrounding her. They stay that way until Iris feels her own exhaustion tugging at her. She climbs off of him and, after turning off her music, she pulls him through her bedroom and into her bathroom. They brush their teeth, Barry with the toothbrush that he’d bought to keep at hers, and Iris reties the silk scarf she’s wearing on her head.
Inside her room, Barry strips down to his boxers, laying his clothes neatly on the arm of the chair by her window. They get into bed, Barry spooning her, his arm holding her tight against him. She settles in, fitting herself snuggly against him, and he kisses her temple before resuming his stroking, this time on her belly through her nightgown. It doesn’t take long for her to drift off, her breathing deepening before evening out. And just before she goes under, she hears it, Barry muttering, “I love you, Iris,” into her hair, so low that she’s sure she’s only just dreaming it.
When Iris wakes up, the first thing that happens is she hears it again, hears him, Barry’s night-rough voice whispering “I love you, Iris.” It runs in her head on a loop, an anaphora to every other thought, every question she’s having: i love you, iris, did he think she was asleep? i love you, iris, did he mean it? i love you, iris, does he want her to say it back? i love you, iris, i love you, iris, i love you, iris.
Over the past few weeks, Iris has become more comfortable with the idea of it, with the reality that what she feels for Barry is real and big and grand. It still takes her aback, how quickly she’d, they’d, fallen into it. As naturally wary as Iris is, she can’t discount what she’d felt last night when he’d kissed her, when he started into her, like she was the sun and the stars and every other bright light in the galaxy all at once; with awe and reverence and yearning; like he wanted to be consumed by her, and he didn’t care how close he got to that fiery, burning light, as long as she was standing there waiting for him.
And it’s enchanting to be looked at like that. Iris has been trying to get it out on paper, that feeling, trying to make sense of the contradictions: the fear that comes with caring about someone enough that they could break you; the power that follows knowing it’s the same for him too; the overall potency that comes with falling in love.
Still, the thought of saying it aloud, right now—when she’s still working on writing it all out, still trying to explain it to herself first—makes her seize up, her eyes darting wildly, her limbs frozen in anxiety.
Barry begins to shift behind her, loosening his arm from around her, and she takes the opportunity to slide out of the bed. She pads across her carpeted bedroom floor into the bathroom where her feet meet cold tiles. She uses the bathroom, washes her hands and brushes her teeth, and throws water on her face. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror, chocolate brown eyes bright in her face, her skin clear, her mouth turned down in consternation.
She goes back out into her room. Barry is fully away now, lying on his back, both of his hands cradling the back of his head. Her comforter is pooled at his hips. She takes in his bare chest, the way his biceps bulge in this position, how clear his eyes look in the sun, even as his lids are low with sleep. Those candy eyes catch her as she walks over to him, staying on her as she kneels on the bed and crawls over him, settling herself on top of him. He’s half hard under her and he lets out a soft little grunt when she sits her butt right on his crotch.
“You sleep okay?” she asks him as he reaches up and traces at his iris tattoo. She loves it, the violet ink that has sunk into his skin, the hints of blue and orange giving it depth, the fact that it’s an iris, placed big and pretty over his heart.
“Are you alright?” he asks instead of answering her question. His voice is still sleep-rough and scratchy. The sound of it sends a soft little tremble through her.
She smiles, the gesture real but uncertain. Well, maybe not uncertain, but she’s aware that she’s in her head again, trying to parse through her feelings. Or, rather, trying to figure out which of her feelings is taking precedence, which one she thinks that she should address first.
“Yes, I’m okay.”
Barry hums as he drags a hand from behind his head, placing it at her hip. “You know it’s okay not to be, right? Okay, I mean. And you can talk to me about it, whatever it is.”
He gives her hip a squeeze.
“No, I am okay. I’m good, really. I just…” she licks her lips as she hesitates, unsure if she’s even ready to bring it up, unsure if she even should. But she knows that she’ll think about it all day, will hear it in her head all day, will wonder and question and drive herself sick with the thoughts of it. So she bites the bullet, lets out a long exhale, and takes him at his word that she can talk about it.
“I heard what you said. Before we fell asleep last night.”
His expression doesn’t change, but his entire body stiffens, his hands stilling on her hip. He doesn’t break, though, and continues to watch her face in that way that he does. For a moment, Iris wonders if he even remembers what he said, if the words were just some half-drunk confession he hadn’t actually meant to say,
(and the flicker of disappointment that follows is tangible, an almost visceral response that tells her much more than anything else could have).
“Okay,” he says after a moment, tilting his head. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She wishes she was as good at reading him as he is at reading her. She’s supposed to be able to make the observations, to understand the truth behind what people don’t say. Sometimes she thinks that she can, thinks that when she really looks at him, she can see what’s simmering in those eyes, can understand his intentions in the grip of his hands, and the curve of his spine, and the shape of his mouth. But it doesn’t feel constant, not like he is with her, and that fact is doubly true right now. Because she can’t tell anything about what he’s thinking, his only tell being the way his hand is still on her hip, tighter than it was before, holding her to him.
“I don’t know,” she tells him, truthfully. “Did you mean it?”
For the first time, he averts his eyes, gazing over at the window. There’s nothing to see; the blinds are closed and the curtains are drawn, but he focuses there for several long seconds, brows furrowed and lips pursed. She blinks, and then she’s suffused with something foreign, something cold and bitter.
“You didn’t,” she says, and it isn’t a question. “Okay, that’s, that’s…”
She moves to climb off of him, but he’s quick, bringing her back by sitting up and wrapping both of his arms around her.
“Where are you going? I’m not done.”
Her eyes flash. “Well you haven’t said anything and I don’t need to sit here like this and listen to you tell me that you didn’t mean to say you love me.”
“What are you upset about, Iris?”
“I’m not upset, Barry,” she says, her frustration evident. She tries to move again, but he holds on to her. “It’s fine. Of course you didn’t mean it. It’s only been a few months. We’re just…”
“We’re just what, Iris?”
He’s looking at her again, with those pretty, too-knowing eyes, and she feels a little like she can’t breathe. Because he didn’t mean it. And the thought that she’d managed to get this all so wrong is, is horrifying.
“I don’t know,” she mumbles, and even though she didn’t actually believe it to be true, she continues, “sex, I guess. Apparently.”
She shifts again, but he tightens his grips even more and she can’t understand it, why he’s still surrounding her like this, the look of him and the smell of him and the feel of him so potent.
“Is that really what you think?” he asks, and he doesn't sound angry so much as annoyed. “That I’m just here for sex. When it’s you that initiated all of our first encounters, when…”
Her eyes widen. “Oh, fuck you, Barry. Like all that slick talking isn’t initiating. You’ve got some fucking nerve.”
This time, when she tries to yank away from him, he lets her; and with a grace she doesn’t feel, she climbs off the bed. She strides towards the living room, but she doesn’t get far because Barry grabs her by the arm and presses her body against the wall near the door.
“Let me go, Barry,” she says, heart hammering angrily against her rib cage. He releases her arm immediately, but he cages her in, planting his hands on the walls on either side of her.
“Look at me, Iris,” he commands, his voice a raspy whisper. She blinks over his shoulder, taking in the messy blue comforter on her queen bed in the middle of the room, and the pale cream curtains on the windows to the right that don’t hide much light, and the blue and cream striped lounge chair where Barry’s clothes are.
“Baby, please,” he tries again, and it’s the pleading that makes her turn.
He looks a little like he sounds, frazzled and out of sorts, his eyes darting quickly across her face and the shadow at his jaw far past 5 o’clock.
“I meant it.” The words come out softly, a little strained, and he blinks once, twice, before repeating. “I meant it. I love you. I’m in love with you.”
“No,” Iris shakes her head. “You’re just saying that now. You didn’t mean it.”
Barry lets out a heavy sigh as he steps back from her. She doesn’t move, though, she can’t. Instead, she watches him, her body lost in the turmoil of the past few minutes. He walks towards the bed, then steps away again, stepping in a circle before coming back to her. This time, when he looks at her, she sees it, him, his feelings.
“You looked terrified this morning, Iris,” he explains, “thinking about what I said. I think that I can read you, that I can see into what you aren’t saying to me. I see the way that you look at me, the way that we are together, and I can swear that you also…”
“What if that’s just sexual chemistry?” she interrupts, because she’s still spiraling, her body still so heavy with the range of emotions she’s experienced in the span of just minutes. And what if he really didn’t mean it, what if she’d actually started writing this story wrong, what if this has all been some dream she’s just starting to wake up from.
Barry stops pacing to look at her, incredulous, and then he narrows his eyes at her.
“Is that really what you think, Iris?” He steps, no stalks, towards her, steps slow and measured. He looks up and down the length of her, eyes lingering at the spread of her hips, the dip of her cleavage, before settling on her face. “You really think that the way we are together is, is just sex?”
She opens her mouth but doesn’t answer, and he closes the distance between them. He stands so close that she has to throw her head back against the wall in order to see up at him.
(She tries but can’t find it in herself to be ashamed of what this does to her, even as she’s not happy with him, having his attention on her like this, having his hard length pressed against her like this, the look of him and the smell of him and the feel of him like this.)
“I know that no one else fucks you like I do, Iris.”
That makes her snap and he pushes at him and he stumbles back near the bed. “You’re a smug fucking bastard, Barry Allen.”
She moves to grab her phone off the counter, intending to, she doesn’t know, throw it at his head. But then she’s plucked off her feet. She squeals as he tosses her onto her back and straddles her hips, holding her by her arms above her head. She bares her teeth at him, but doesn’t try to get away from him this time. She’s breathing heavily, and he is too, and for a second, Iris thinks that this love stuff is too much. Because that’s what’s going on here, isn’t it? It’s their first fight and it’s about love, about the fact that they’d slipped into it so simply that they (and by they, she means she) is finding it difficult to just let it be.
“I don’t mean it in an arrogant way, Iris,” he murmurs. “I just… you are a fucking goddess, baby, and if you’d ever been with anyone the way you are with me, there’s no way they would have ever let you go.”
He presses down on her arms a little, presses his hips into hers a little. “And no one has ever made me feel like this, the way that you do, in bed and out of it. And you don’t have to say it back. Not until you’re ready. I meant what I said but I didn’t think you would hear me. I just needed to say it.”
His eyes roam her face and she stares back. Her breathing has begun to level out, but she’s still left with, with adrenaline or something, a heavy, aching sort of feeling flooding through her, making her warm and jittery and, and wet. Which, she’s never been turned on by arguing before, but, by god, she is. She is. Turned on and in love and so gone on the man above her that she doesn’t think of anything at all before she leans up and kisses him.
For the first time since they’ve started doing this, Barry doesn’t take his time. He kisses her back, just as hard, the kiss more teeth and tongue than mouth. He keeps a hold of her arms in one of his big hands and then reaches down to push her dress up over her hips, lifting his own hips just enough that he can pull himself out of his boxers and spread her legs, hiking them over his waist. He doesn’t bother with taking her panties off; he just yanks them over to the side, probably ripping the delicate lace, and then runs a couple of his sure fingers through her slit to see if she’s wet enough to take him. Satisfied, he grips himself and then slides into her.
“Fuuuuuuck,” he groans, dragging the word out, and Iris seconds that, throwing her head back at the heavy, hard, full feeling of him. He gives her one experimental thrust, and then another, and then he’s setting a pace, fucking into her in hard, shallow strokes. He clenches hard around her, her head filled with the press of his body and the smell of his skin and the thought of his love, i know the meaning’, for all the seasons, you are the reason, my love. Then Barry leans down on her, so that his chest brushes her nipples and his pelvis rubs against her clit every time he rocks into her, and her head clears of everything but this.
“God,” she moans, eyes fluttering closed.
He moves his mouth to her ear as he picks up his pace, murmuring as he always does, “fuck, baby, yes, you feel so good, girl; my good girl, shit” but his words aren’t as smooth as they usually are. He is frayed, his breathing choppy and his pace brutal. She likes it though. Her pussy grows wetter with every thrust, her hips rocking up to meet him, and she breathes out through her nose when she finds her mouth stuck in a round “o.” They’re both slick from the exertion and Iris can’t tell if it’s his sweat or hers or theirs. He holds on to the meat of her thigh, widening her so that he can ride her deeper, harder. She drips, down onto her thighs, soaking him too, and she knows that were she to look down, his dick would be so obscenely slick with her. He kisses at her ear, down to her neck, along her jaw, biting and licking and sucking on her skin. His grip on her is hard, and it isn’t so much rough as it is raw, inelegant and sensual and crude and so so so so good.
The thought of it is just as arousing as the act of it, and Iris manages to breathe out, “shit, Bear, how, how, how are you always so gooood?”
He flashes her a grin, her Barry coming back to her, and he says into her ear, “because it’s us, baby. Because I love you and you’re falling for me and we were meant for this.”
When Iris comes, it’s so hard she swears she goes blind for a minute. The world darkens and all she can do is feel: passion and euphoria and ecstasy and every other expression like it.
She’s thirty minutes late meeting Linda for their monthly brunch..
She and Barry shower together, and she drops him off at his car downtown and then she drives the couple blocks over to Golden’s. Before he gets out, he leans over and kisses her, a long slow sort of kiss, licking deep into her mouth as he cradles her face gently in the palm of his hand, and then he taps the top of her car twice before ambling over to his jeep without saying a word.
She feels a little funny after all of that, wondering why she still hadn't been able to say the words to him. He hadn’t said much to her as they’d dressed and gotten ready to leave her apartment. But he hadn’t stopped touching her either: taking her loofah from her and washing her down in the shower, running his hand over her hip after she’d hopped into a pair of light denim boyfriend jeans, rubbing on her thigh as she’d driven them downtown. She doesn’t think he’s upset with her; he’d told her she didn’t have to say it back. But he’d retreated, at least verbally, and it’s fucking with her, making her realize how much her fear is keeping her from him.
Golden’s is already open by the time she gets there so she walks in through the front door, throwing a hand up at Kamilla as she heads to the back in her stiletto heeled ankle booties, tugging lightly at the long, faux pearl necklace lying over her white half tucked in sweater. It’s packed as usual, the Saturday lunch crowd filling most of the seats, and she has to walk around chairs half pushed in and groups of people laughing and enjoying their Saturday.
She slides into the booth across from her best friend, the table already littered with food, Linda’s mango mimosa mostly gone. The other woman looks up at her, perusing, her brown eyes curious. Iris ignores her to grab her champagne flute, dropping a frozen mango slice into the glass and pouring a smidge of juice in, topping it off with champagne. She downs half of it in one gulp.
“You’ve been fucked,” is the first thing Linda says, when she finally decides to speak.
Iris chokes on her swallow of mimosa.
“Freshly,” Linda adds. Her red painted lips curve up in a devious little grin. “Is that big ass hickey you’re sporting the reason you’re late?”
She rolls her eyes, but touches gently at where she knows it’s sitting, an uneven patch of darkened flesh about the size of a quarter on her neck just under her left ear. She’d been in too much of a daze while she was putting on her minimal makeup earlier, the moisturizer and a little concealer, a bit of bronzer on her lids, liner and mascara. She hadn’t noticed the hickey, not until she was putting on her lipstick in the car and she didn’t have any foundation to cover it with.
“I’m too old to have a hickey,” she says to Linda instead of responding to her question.
“Tell your boo that,” Linda responds.
Iris wrinkles her nose at “boo” and starts spooning some sticky sesame chicken onto her plate. She forks a dumpling and bites at it as she goes for the lo mein and she doesn’t realize she’s reaching for the edamame until Linda stills her hand.
“Okay, what’s up?”
Iris chews the rest of her dumpling. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re eating.”
“Is that not why we’re here?”
“No, I mean you’re eating, doing that thing where you just throw food into your mouth without stopping or even really tasting it. You only do it when you’re really anxious and there’s no notebook or wine handy.”
Iris stills with a piece of shrimp in her hand. She drops it back onto the platter and sits back into the booth, chewing and swallowing while Linda waits patiently, sipping from her glass.
And then she blurts, “I’m in love with Barry.”
Linda nods, not yet committing to a response. “Okay.”
“And he told me he’s in love with me and I didn’t say it back.” Iris lets out a breath, tension releasing like a pressure valve has been turned.
“Why didn’t you say it back?”
“Because I’m a coward,” she answers.
Linda’s head shake is automatic, her brown waves brushing at her neck. “There’s not a hint of coward in you, baby girl.” Iris takes her best friend’s white silk blouse just as she says, “Now why don’t you really tell me what’s up.”
To give herself some time to put it all together, she finishes her mimosa and mixes another, though this one with less champagne, and she eats another dumpling, chewing slowly. Then she clears her throat.
“For a while now, I’ve been feeling, I don't know, lost. I was single, school was boring. Work was too, and it seemed like all of you were moving forward while I was just watching. Nothing felt exciting, not even my blog really. And then Barry came along, and I swear, the moment I saw him, it’s like my entire world lit up. There was this, this spark, and even when I was claiming that he was just around for sex, there was always this feeling that it was bigger than all of that, bigger than anything I’ve felt before.
And suddenly, I feel so different. I feel good, Linda. Everything is starting to feel good. My blog is getting real recognition now and Dr. Jamison must also be getting good sex because she’s been an actual joy to be around. And Barry...and Barry is…”
“Putting you to sleep every night?”
It makes her laugh, the way Linda wiggles her eyebrows as she says it, the way her eyes light up with mirth, the way her smile is a soft thing.
“Yeah, he is,” Iris says, her mouth twisting wryly. “But what if it’s a fluke, Linda? This man is everything I’ve wanted in a man and so much more than I even knew I wanted. What if we do this and I learn that he’s been, just, fucking with me this whole time?”
“You know that’s not true, Iris.” Linda picks up her own glass and drains it.
“But how can I trust this?” she pushes. “This happiness that seems to have only come when Barry stepped into my life?”
Linda reaches over and grabs Iris’s hand, and Iris clasps it like a lifeline, her pale orange tipped fingers pressing hard into Linda’s hand and Linda’s own pink tipped fingers pressing back. “There are no guarantees. So maybe we do find out that Barry has been faking this entire time. But what if he’s not? What if he’s as kind and loving as you say he is? ” She lets that digest for a moment.
“Love, and life, is a series of ups and downs, of good experiences and bad, Iris. The timing of it all is just coincidence. And I hear you. It feels so scary to realize that someone has that sort of power over you; that the care of your heart is in their hands. But what I’m learning with Dan is that love, love is always worth it. Because what you’re feeling, it doesn’t go away just because you don’t say it back, just because you don’t acknowledge it. And when you don’t you risk cutting it, him, off, and you’ll get hurt anyway. And that, my love, will be your own fault.”
Iris thinks about Linda’s words as they finish brunch, moving the conversation to Linda’s upcoming trip to meet Dan’s family. She thinks about it as she gets into her car and drives back home, forgoing working on a story in favor of plopping down on the couch and letting music play, my mind is open, so wide since you came inside, i feel so alive, without you life just passes by, passes by, lost in the reality of what she’s feeling.
She thinks about the words as she goes out to grab dinner, picking up a salad for herself and a chicken sandwich and fries for Barry, the intention to take him food not one fully realized until she’s parking in front of the precinct that Barry works out of.
She thinks about the words because Linda is right.
(She would never tell the other woman this, but she is right more often than she’s not, her poise and curious nature making her one to offer sound advice, always realistic and with love.)
She loves him, she does: his wit and his hands and his eyes; his compliments and his patience and ability to make her feel as if everything he’s ever wanted is present in the curves of her body; as if it is his profound pleasure to coax it out of her, with every touch, every moan, every dirty, mumbled thing.
Buoyed by the fact that she’d said it aloud, at the very least, and she didn’t wither away after she had, she grabs the food bags and her purse and walks up the steps to the precinct.
Her dad is working tonight but since she’ll see him tomorrow at dinner, she doesn’t drop by his office. Instead, she heads downstairs to where CSI is located, following the stairs to where they’ve apparently put them in the basement. The hallway is well lit, and there are several windows covered in closed blinds that lead to the lab door. She balances the bags in one hand and opens the door with the other. And she’s stopped short at what she sees.
The room looks like how she’s always imagined a crime lab to look like: lots of white, microscopes, and computers, shelves full of test tubes and petri dishes. Barry is there and so is the Cisco guy she remembers from Fall Fest. There’s a woman there too, in the utilitarian black pants and matching blazer that Iris knows is the norm for detectives. And it’s not that she’s there, because that’s not weird. But she’s there, next to Barry, close to Barry, leaning on his counter with her hand on his arm as she talks. She’s as tall as Iris is in the four inch booties Iris is wearing, with shoulder length dirty blonde hair and the sort of white girl next door look that men fall all over themselves for.
Cisco notices her first, as the door closes softly behind her, and Iris feels a bit mollified at the way his grin rises up when he sees her.
“Iris,” he calls, eyes twinkling. “Nice to see your beautiful face.”
Iris winks at him, pulling out a flirtatious grin so that she doesn’t scowl at the sight of the woman touching Barry.
(She’s not jealous. She’s not, but Iris can’t stand the thought of Barry looking at someone else the way that he does her, can’t stand the thought of him touching someone else the way he does her, can’t stand the thought of him whispering, yeah, baby, fuck, ride me just like that, to someone else the way he does her.)
Cisco, though, is loud enough that Barry hears him, and she watches as he straightens at the sight of her, eyes wide. “Iris!”
He gives her his look, the one where he rakes his eyes over the length of her and then lingers on her face, always trying to read her. She’s still a little frustrated at how she’s always such an open book for him, apparent after he’s finished his perusal and he smiles, slow and with more smirk than anything else. The woman next to him only moves her hand from Barry hesitantly, turning to see what all of this commotion is about. She gives Iris the same once over that Barry did, though decidedly colder, and Iris tilts her head at her before settling her gaze on Barry.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Iris says. “I know that you’re busy, but I thought I’d drop off dinner for you.”
She steps further into the room, and her heels clack loudly in the too quiet space. She pauses in front of where Cisco is sitting. She turns to him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring you anything. I should’ve texted Barry to see who else was around, but I was picking up dinner and just decided to get him some too.”
“It’s fine,” he says. “You can get me next time.”
Iris passes him and lets her eyes wander back to Barry and the detective, who’s stepped back in a bit. As soon as Iris catches his eyes again, Barry steps away from her, moving around to meet Iris. She stops at a point along a wide expanse of empty space on one of the tables, and Iris feels it’s a safe enough spot to place the food without contaminating anything. As soon as she drops the food on the table, Barry cups the back of her head and stares down at her. His thumb traces the mark he’d left on her neck.
“Hi, beautiful,” he says, eyes wondering, smile tender.
She looks over his shoulder to where the woman still stands, looking at her too. She gives her a smile in greeting. Iris thinks it’s returned.
“I’m sorry. You look busy,” she responds. “Should I go?”
“Absolutely not. I’m just surprised to see you.” Without stepping away from her, he turns to address the detective. “Patty, I’ll come down as soon as I have the results for you.”
Her gaze trails over to Iris once more, observing where Barry holds onto Iris’s neck, onto her waist. “Of course,” she murmurs, finally.
She walks out of the room, her low-heeled boots nearly silent on the floors. Both Iris and Cisco watch her go, but Barry doesn’t pay much attention, his focus on Iris as he continues to rub along his mark.
Cisco stands, sort of abruptly, his chair skitting across the floor. “Barry, I’m gonna step out for a minute.” He shrugs out of his lab coat, tossing it on the back of his chair. His thick brown hair brushes against his shoulders with every shake of his head. “It’s good seeing you again, pretty lady.”
Iris offers him another smile. “You too, Cisco.”
She turns back to Barry who’s eyeing her, expression curious. “You’re here,” he says, voice low.
“Yeah,” she nods at the bags she’s placed on the table. “I don’t know, I went to get dinner and I was, well, I was thinking about you.” She shrugs with a nonchalance she doesn’t feel.
“Yeah?” Barry’s answering grin is wide, and a little bit boyish, cheeks reddening; it makes Iris smile back in turn.
“Come on,” Barry says, picking up the bags and walking over to a desk tucked into the corner. “I've got a few minutes.”
The desk is messy, stacks of folders and sticky notes all over the place, and he moves some papers around so that he can place their food down. He rolls his desk chair over for her to sit in and he grabs the bag, pulling out her salad container and his sandwich and fries and placing them in front of their spots.
She waits until he sits down in the hard back chair he’d gotten from under one of the computers and she snaps the top of her salad before she says, “so why wasn’t I introduced to the detective?”
Barry takes a bite of his sandwich and looks at her in question. “Who? Detective Spivot?”
“Don’t you mean, Patty?”
Barry pauses with a fry poised for his mouth. “Sure,” he says. “Patty is one of the detectives on the case we got called into.”
“Hmm.” Iris stabs at her salad. She takes a bite and chews, though she doesn’t really taste it.
Barry places his half eaten sandwich into the cardboard container and he turns to her, giving her his full attention. He inclines his head, watches for a second. She thinks that the corner of his mouth tilts up, that humor brims in his eyes.
“What do you want to say, Iris?”
She rolls her eyes, annoyed that she can’t focus on how cute he looks with his lab coat and glasses on, annoyed that that woman was touching him, annoyed that she’s annoyed.
“I didn’t know you were so close to the detective. Y’all were very...touchy.”
Shaking her head, she starts to go back to her salad, but then he drops his food and rubs his hands together. He leans towards her.
“Come here,” he says.
She ducks away, but he grabs her wrist gently and pulls at her. She goes, because her tripping heart and her heaving chest and her warming sex won’t allow her to not. Barry sits her in his lap, sideways so that her legs are half hanging over his. She’s a head taller than him in this position, and he presses a hand at the small of her back as he looks up at her.
“You’re jealous,” he announces, seemingly pleased with the fact.
Iris rolls her eyes. “Of course not.”
Barry laughs. “So you’re just really grumpy right now?”
“I’m just curious,” she says.
“Oh?”
“About the touching.”
“She’d literally just put her hand on me as you walked in the door. I was about to move it.”
Iris harrumphs. “Doesn’t Detective Spivot know that you’re…” Iris waves her hand as she trails off and it makes Barry’s slight grin widen.
“That I’m what?”
Even she knows that the huff she lets out would only be completed with a foot stop.
“That you’re taken,” she says, boldly. Because whatever she was feeling, whatever he was feeling, this morning, they are still them: two people who’ve crawled into open, waiting hearts and made space for one another; two people who are pages deep into a story that the stars must have already been writing; two people hours into a dream that is so vivid, it has to be real.
The statement seems to sober him, because his eyebrows furrow. “Am I?”
She wants to be bothered by the genuine question in his eyes. But they’ve never blatantly talked about them. There has been some conjecture, sex-fueled mutterings that hinted at the reality of them, of their feelings. There have been looks between the two of them that tell far more than Iris has ever even realized could be portrayed through eye contact. He’s told her that he loves her. But they’ve never defined or drawn out the lines or made it real.
But like she said, they are them. And he is. Taken. So she slowly licks her lips, and nods her head. “Yeah, you are.”
This time, Barry’s smile is a sexy, lilting thing. “I’m fully yours, Iris. You have to know that.” He turns her so that he can hold her gaze, and reaches up to curl his fingers around the back of her neck, his thumb hitting that mark again. Then he says,
“I love you. I will until you love me back and forever after that. And that means that I don’t see anyone but you. I haven’t seen anyone but you since the minute I laid eyes on you in that slinky dress you had on, dancing in the middle of the crowd by yourself.” He presses a soft kiss to her lips. “Even before, for months before, I couldn’t see anyone else. Because I was waiting for you, Iris.”
He gives her another kiss, this one longer, deeper, like the one he’d given her before he left her car. She finds herself humming into his mouth, her arms tightening around his shoulders. He rubs against her thigh, higher, then a little higher, until Iris is opening her legs to try to get some sort of friction.
Minutes or moments or eternity after, he pulls his mouth away, though he doesn’t move away from her fully. Instead, he looks at her, and she finds herself lost in him, in this dream of a story. She sees the words of it, my afternoon dream, when the world is speeding; i am still sleeping, in my blue dream and i know the meaning, for all the seasons; you are the reason, my love, and she wants to add to it, wants to let herself live in it, wants to finally fall into this love story without fear or reservation.
“Barry,” she says, whispers, and she notes how hooded his eyes look through the wire-framed glasses he’s wearing and how just the act of sitting here on his lap calms her at the same time that it inflames her. Then she thinks about his infinite levels of patience as he’s waited for her to be ready for him and how he’s always been interested in what she thinks or feels and how no one has even treated her body with the, the homage that he seems to. And she...and she loves him. “Barry, I…”
“Alright, Barry, we have…whoa.”
Iris blinks out of her haze, startles out of the confession she was about to make, at the sound of Cisco’s voice. Still, it takes a second before she’s able to pull herself from Barry, and from the expression he’s saddling her with, she thinks he might have an inkling of what she was about to say.
“None of this hanky panky,” Cisco continues, either oblivious or uncaring, Iris doesn’t know. “Spivot and Mitchell need to see us.”
“Alright,” Barry calls over her shoulder. “I’ll be down in five.”
When Cisco nods and leaves again, Iris is pulled back into Barry’s orbit. He palms the back of her neck, thumb brushing the mark on her throat. She assesses him.
“Did you do that on purpose?”
“I’m sorry.” He immediately goes red. He averts his eyes for a moment, before they drift back to her. “It’s tacky, I know, and I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was too late. This morning, I was, I don’t know, confused about us and I just…” He pressed his thumb into her skin. “I told you I’m not composed around you; I’m a mess.”
Iris covers his hand where it’s still on her throat. “You know that I’m yours too, right?” The earlier moment seems to have passed, but she can, needs to, give him this. His stare is hard and almost unreadable.
“Yeah,” he says after a while, sort of breathless. “Yeah, I guess you are.”
She wishes that she could stay in this moment with him, such a stark deviation from the way they’d left each other this morning. So she takes that feeling with her as she packs her salad up and helps him clean up the trash. Together, they venture into the hall and Barry leads her back out into the bullpen where Cisco is standing with Spivot and a tall, dark-skinned man with a baldhead and a beard. All three of them turn at the sound of Iris’s boots on the floors. Something about the look of them makes Iris grab Barry’s hand. Barry stops her a few feet away and leans down.
“I like how territorial you’re being,” Barry all but whispers in her ear. “I’ll come over after work and remind you why you don’t have to be.”
The thought of them this morning, the hard press of him, his breath rough in her ear, makes her look up at him, her eyes bright, bottom lip between the white of her teeth. It’s only Cisco’s pointed throat clearing that keeps her from falling mouth first into him.
Barry’s grin is knowing. “Bye, baby,” he says, a little louder this time, and Iris shakes her head, knowing he’s saying it in front of Patty for her benefit. He drops a kiss on her check and Iris nods at his coworkers.
“Detectives. Cisco.” She squeezes his hand once and drops it. “See you later, Bear.”
She steps away and walks out of the station, but not before she hears Mitchell say, “Damn, Allen, how did you bag that?”
She wishes she could explain that she’s the one that doesn’t know how she got him.
Barry does come over later, and as soon as he walks through the door, he pushes her up against the wall and fucks her, groaning “mine, mine, fuck, mine” into the bite on her throat, as Iris moans it back in kind, “yours, yes, Barry, I’m yours.”
My afternoon dream when
The world is sleepin'
I am still thinkin'
Of my blue dream
It's bliss
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yourfavwriter · 3 years
Text
Mark but make it jealous
Tag: @floweringtheflowers IM SORRY I TOOK FOREVER BUT I WAS SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING ILY BAE IM SO SORRY IF IVE LET YOU DOWN WITH THIS 😔
Summary: Mark was usually all soft and sweet to you, who knew what getting coffee would do to the man.
Notes: smut so if you're not into that don't read it, dom Mark and sub reader, reader is female
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You breathed in the scent of fresh steaming coffee and sweet cake as you held Marks warm hand in yours. As you walked up to the cashier you kept repeating your order in your head making sure not to mess up.
"Hello what can I do for you guys today" the cashier asked only quickly glancing at Mark as he studied your face taking in your sparkly eyes and plump, soft lips.
"Hi can I have one tall iced coffee with sugar and cream? Also some caramel on top." You said. You watched as the cashier typed away on his little board.
"Okay one tall iced coffee for the lovely lady, what about you sir" Mark stirred uncomfortably at the flirty remarks of the cashier but as to not start anything big went along with it.
"Hey yeah I just want a small black coffee." The cashier nodded and typed away at the register.
"Okay that brings your total to $10.45." you attempted to slip your hand away from Mark's to grab your purse but before you could Mark took out his credit card and payed instead. "Hey I said I was gonna pay!" You whispered looking at Mark. He smiled,
"Too late I already did" you pouted and went back to staring at all the cakes on display as you waited for your drinks.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick" Mark said pulling his hand away from yours you nodded still staring at all the cakes.
"So is he your boyfriend or something?" You heard the cashier ask. You were taken aback by the question since it had come out of nowhere but you simply smiled.
"Yes he is"
"Ahh I see." He side clicking his tongue
"You seem to be out of his league if I'm being honest with you, you're very beautiful you deserve a real man." Your smile slowly faded off your face and you cleared your throat trying to ignore his attempts to get with you.
"Awe come on don't ignore me now I was playing with you. But if you ever get tired of him just know I'm free whenever you need me." As he finished his sentence he slid you a napkin with his number on it. You looked towards the bathroom trying to find Mark only for him to be no where in sight.
"Here's your coffees have a nice day and don't forget to call me" the cashier said winking after. You grabbed the drinks and took them to a table to wait for Mark making sure to throw out the napkin he gave you on the way. As you waited for Mark you impatiently tapped your feet until
"Hey babe"
"Hey Mark can we leave now?"
"Uh sure" Mark was confused on why you were so nervous but thought it was just the jitters, public settings weren't always the best for you so he understood. You suddenly felt someone tap your shoulder and you knew who it was. Before you could turn around and tell him to leave you alone he spoke up,
"I noticed you threw the other napkin away so here's another napkin" you an Mark turned in sync to look at the chaser who was now holding out another napkin with his phone number and name clearly written on it. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see Mark fuming.
"Uhm that's sweet of you but-"
"She has a boyfriend dude back off" Mark said now wrapping his arm around your waist.
"Uh yeah but she could probably use my number just in case you know." You internally face-palmed as embarrassment filled your body. Mark scoffed before he replied back with anger
"Thanks for the offer but I'm all she needs."
"I was just playing around bro don't take it to the heart." The cashier said before he gave Mark a light punch on the shoulder and walked away. Mark grabbed your wrist and led you out of the coffee shop and to your car. You caught one last glimpse of the cashier as Mark dragged you out of that hell hole and he simply smirked at you, you were now angry too for the man to flirt so shamelessly with you. The whole ride home was silent you only quietly sipped on your coffee in case anything you said angered him further.
"So you wanna explain what that was back there?" Mark asked as soon as you stepped foot through the door. You slowly turned to look at him in disbelief, almost laughing at his question.
"I don't think I have to explain anything you saw that cashier flirting with me."
"And you did nothing to stop him" you were now not only angry and the cashier but Mark too.
"You act like I was flirting with him"
"You might as well have been you were all 'awweee i have a boyfriend maybe flirt with me while he's not looking'" Mark said mocking your voice and even going as far as to bat his eyelashes.
"Okay Mark what the fuck? I was declining his offer gently as to not make a big deal but you act as if I was cheating on you?"
"You could've been more firm with your words since he obviously wasn't getting the point"  
"I was trying to be nice what did you want me to slap him infront of everyone or something?"
"Uhm kind of!" Mark said throwing his hands in the air as if it were the obvious route to take.
"I seriously can't believe you right now some creep was hitting on me right infront of you and you blame me for not being stern enough with him when you did nothing!" You raised your voice obviously pissed now.
"I'm the one who got you out of there!" Mark said also raising his voice now.
"I wish he was the one getting me out of there" you mumbled under your breath apparently loud enough to Mark to hear.
"What. Did. You. Just. Say." He said clenching his teeth trying his best to keep his calm. You decided to tease him as pay back for his blaming your innocent self.
"I said 'i wish he was the one getting me out of there' did you not hear me the first-" you were cut off when Mark suddenly pushed you up against the wall, his face mere inches away from yours.
"So you wanna act up now?" He said pinning your wrists against the wall. You nodded smiling just to anger him further. He scoffed and looked away for a second.
"Oh you're so in for it tonight." He leaned in to kiss you but your turned your face at the last second still not done with your teasing.
"I see how it is" Was the last thing you heard before he threw you over his shoulder and took you straight to the bedroom. You tried flailing your arms and legs
"Mark let me go!" You whined not actually meaning it but saying it just to see his reaction (remember consent is key children if someone says no or to stop mid-action respect their wishes) he simply ignored all your poor attempts to escape and went on his merry way. When he entered the bedroom he dropped you on the mattress and immediately got in top of you.
He kissed you roughly for a bit before leaving a hot trial of kisses down your jaw and onto your neck, making sure to such hickeys on to your neck.
You sighed in pleasure which didn't last long, next thing you knew he was practically trying to rip your top off of you after getting frustrated with the buttons. You giggled to yourself before moving his hands and undoing the buttons yourself. After your shirt was taken care of he reached around your back and unclipped your bra with one single movement, exposing your chest to him.
You were expecting him to start massaging or playing with your breasts like he usually did but instead he went to unbutton your jeans, it did catch you by surprise but he was still angry at you and angry Mark means no foreplay.
He was having trouble figuring out your jeans to which you helped him yet again and as soon as he could he threw your jeans across the room, panties still on.
He quickly rose to his feet and undressed himself leaving only his boxers on, you bit your lip at the sight infront of you. Mark knelt on the bed and turned your body so that you were now on your stomach. Before you could ask what he was doing he put you face down, ass up in the air. You felt his hand rub against your smooth ass and relished the feeling of him being gentle before he released all his anger and stress on you.
Just as you were about to make some snarky remark about him being so gentle after all his roughness he spanked you. You jolted at the sudden noise and felt a stinging pain.
"Ow Mark that hurt!"
"Did i say you could speak?" He asked in a low voice. His voice was scarly calm compared to his actions which confused you.
"No but-"
"Then be quiet." You immediately shut your mouth and surrendered to his touch. He spanked you once, twice, three times, 4 times, and one last time.  By the time he was done your eyes were threatening to spill out a river of tears and your knees were just about to give out. Mark held you steady in place and pushed your panties to the side exposing your already dripping core.
"You really get this turned on just by me being angry?" Mark said while chuckling. You whined eager to feel him inside you and he complied. Mere seconds later you felt him enter you and immediately start pouring into you, not letting you adjust to his size.
"Mark! Slow..slow down" you stuttered trying to hold yourself together. He only went faster and pounded deeper into you, tempting you to let out the sinful sounds he always loved to hear from you. You moaned and whimper so close to orgasming before Mark pulled out. He quickly flipped you over so that you were on your back and entered you again before you could let out any words. The sound of both you and mark moaning and your skin slapping made you come undone in his hands.
"I'm gonna..." You trailer off seeing stars as you closer your eyes.
"You're gonna cum aren't you?" Mark said all cockily only he could fuck you this good and only he could get you to be a whimpering mess with just his light touches. You nodded vigorously. You came with Mark still inside of you and when he felt you walls clench around him he pulled out cumming all over your thighs. You panted and closed your eyes close to sleeping when you heard his voice right next to you now.
"Don't fall asleep yet princess I'm not done with you just yet."
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staylavendertea · 3 years
Text
young avengers characters and relationships as songs
billy kaplan : season of the witch by donovan and mr. sandman cover by joe p, it’s fun, there’s that groove, it’s witches and it’s dreams; a total billy kaplan jamming out in his room in his boyfriends too big shirt 10 at night moment with that magical and just like ,, witchy billy vibe i can’t explain through words that i love dearly, it also just gives me a connection between him and wanda i really love, the family witches between soul mother and soul son and that bass in mr sandman for some reason screams billy
teddy altman : space girl by frances forever need i say more, that song screams smiling golden tall boy theodore in overalls and sweaters, prince charming of space deserves the song space girl, the song is soft like teddy is, all hugs and kisses, that is until “stupid boyfriend putting himself into stupid danger all the stupid time” and “why do i try he never listens” “i heard that” “sure now he listens” then it becomes all hugs, kisses, bickering with the boyfriend, and threats of mauling people, but that’s for childrens crusade and family matters arc to tell
tommy shepherd : rebels by call me karizma but also steady, as she goes by the raconteurs mostly just for that guitar and music, i heavily head canon billy as the pianist and tommy as the guitar and bass player all the way and steady, as she goes screams tommy’s kind of music, the song rebels because that boy is the biggest rebel around and i wouldn’t be surprised if he was an arsonist
eli bradley : i just wanna shine by fitz and the tantrums i honestly had a bit of a hard time finding a song that really perfectly fit eli, but i think this one really hits the spot - eli is totally the boy that’s just trying his best and live up to his and everyone else’s expectations, i think he’s actually a softie and repressed nerd that believes heavily in doing what is right and i think that this song encompasses that, i really miss eli bradley thank you for coming to my tedtalk
cassie lang : blackbird by the beatles (cover by dodie) cassie gives me total adorable and soft but such a cool person dodie vibes, but i think the song blackbird fits cassie on so many levels, especially the lyrics as growing up after losing her dad, getting and learning to control her powers, and growing as a super hero she knows her dad would be so proud of, i love every single one of the young avengers but mygod cassie
nate richards : run boy run by woodkid and something better by hidinin i feel for nate, that poor kid literally is running away and trying to kill his future because he knows it’s a bad road and honestly he’s so brave for that and it’s all thanks to nate that we got all the young avengers in the first place so credit will be payed where credit is due, nate is really just a clumsy teenager thats a total nutcase and a bit clueless without that common sense sometimes that will think a pack sour troll gummies and a bottle of gateorade is a well rounded training diet but he’s also a descendent of sue and reed richards and what’s there to expect from child geniuses
kate bishop : love club by lorde and ribs by lorde i kinda just stumbled upon these honestly forgotten songs in my playlist and was pleasantly surprised how perfectly kate bishop these songs are, the lyrics most likely mean something else but i see the love club as the young avengers and “go get punched for the love club” just sounds like a kate bishop thing to say, these songs give me vibes of kate bishop in a rolled sleeves black and purple flannel and black jean shorts with scuffs and bandaids on her elbows and knees, probably also a developing black eye and bloody nose but lookin badass per usual
david alleyne : karma by ajr i picked this one for david because the second i heard it david was immediately the person i thought of when listening to it, i haven’t read many comics with david in them, i’m searching tho, but i am reading the current x factor and david just goes through a lot poor dude just wants to learn and help with what he can and i love him every moment for it
america chavez : a good song never dies by saint motel and dead girl in the pool by girl in red i honestly don’t know much about america besides some basic background stuff and some her character and personality since i haven’t been able to get my hands on some ya v2 issues besides what i’ve seen online but what i have seen of her i already love her and know she is so badass and a bit chaotic but in the best way possible from the little i do know about america’s character i think these songs just fits both the vibes of how she presents and holds herself but also her personality, america is a good song that just never dies are vibes i will happily live with
loki : run the world!!! by dayglow i haven’t really read much of loki in the comics, the versions of them i know the best being the actual norse myth god and movie loki and i know how the movies can be with their comic book characters, but from what ive heard about kid and teenager loki is that they’re a little punk and this song seems to just fit that perfectly
jonas : growing pains by coin i honestly didn’t know that there was more to jonas besides ya v1 and childrens crusade but now i’m intrigued, but this song just speaks jonas to me who i was also calling judas for like ten minutes without realizing i had a totally wrong name, but from what i read and his whole thing with cass, i think growing pains very much fits a mr. jonas
now for the relationships/ships - this post is so long i am so sorry for all the reading but i’m having fun -
david and tommy : affection by between friends im not even sure completely why but the music just screams david and tommy’s vibes, especially how tommy is usually head canonized in relationships, *chiefs kiss* of a song
nate and cassie and jonas : in the middle by dodie this song is literally the three of them, like perfectly, the lyrics fit to a t and it’s literal perfection for them
billy and teddy : pleaser by wallows for how much i love them i surprisingly had a hard time finding a song for them, i know at one time i heard and had a song that was perfect but i can’t remember it all, but i think pleaser fits just as nice, it fits their personalities and the music itself is the vibe they give off to me : imma make an edit from this post previously cause i’ve been thinking about and i would like to add the song leaves by joe p cause it just fits too well, especially when looking at billyteddy fan art whilst listening to it, it’s too good : HI THIS ANOTHER EDIT IMSORRY but it literally took weeks to remember but now i remember what the original song for them i had picked - electric love by borns - it also gives me billy lightning powers vibes and i do adore some billy lightning powers, i think it would be so cool to see them mixed in with his reality warping ones
eli and nate : talk too much by coin honestly it’s them, it’s a vibe they both argue and to each other, talk way too much, i’m calling it they kissed like at least once just to see how that would go - probably arguing who was the better boyfriend when they were both single
eli and kate : falling for u by peachy! and mxmtoon this song is very eli and kate for me, especially the beginning of their relationship not relationship, was that ever really established what was happening there ?? but this song fits perfectly amongst the bickering and racking numbers of how many times they’ve saved each other’s asses
kate and america : given it all by hayley kiyoko and midnight love by girl in red i love this ship and i have no idea if there was ever a thing happening between them or if it was pure fandom but it’s amazing and i love it, hayley kiyoko and girl in red is an of course and i think these songs speak them
- now just the young avengers as a group -
leaves by joe p a song that is totally just a hang out and drive all around all night as teenagers without a care in the world song and can totally see the gang jamming out to it
hey barbara by IV of spades this song literally speaks “hey did you watch that one beach episode” sunny and everyone vibing and hanging out, i can totally imagine tommy trying to get david to dance this and the attempts made is hilarious
teenagers and na na na by my chemical romance now last but certainly not least mcr because of course mcr, these kids can definitely be punks when they wanna be, especially when they’re mutant/alien/super hero teenagers that will literally do what they see fit, all in good manners of course
whhoooopp this was a lot longer than what i was initially expecting to make but after a few hours of song surfing and trying to make tumblr typing fonts work with me we’re finally here, this was just something fun for me since i associate music with everyone, but if you’ve read this far and wanna mention a song you think fits, totally put it out there, share the music !!
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