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dreamifics · 3 years

Text

Favorite Crime

James Potter x Reader

Summary: Y/N L/N and James Potter were in a relationship together, Y/N was too blind to see James Potter's intentions. Just pure angst.

Know that I loved you so bad

I let you treat me like that

I was your willing accomplice, honey

James Potter..

How would I describe him? Charming, Endearing or just a prick? He was everything I wanted, I loved him. I didn't see it back then.. How his eyes would fall on her, how he did anything just to make her smile. I never gave it much thought, I was too busy giving him heart shaped looks to notice that I was really not the one he loves but he was all I loved.

"Y/N, would you mind if we skip our date today?Lily needs some help with a few things." He asked..

"We haven't hang out with each other for weeks now.." I hinted.

"I'm sorry, but Lily needs my help."

"It's your choice, I don't own you." I answered with a frown..

"Alright, I'll see you tommorow." He still chose Lily, but I still didn't give that much a thought.

It's been weeks since me and James last hang out, just us. Today he told me he was studying in the library, but he wasn't there.. Where was he? I spotted Remus not far from me, I walked up to him.

"Hey, Remus!Did you see James anywhere?He told me he was studying in the library but he's not there.." I questioned one of his friends.

"Ohh..He didn't tell you?"

"What?" I nervously asked.

"He went to Hogsmeade with Lily.."

"Oh."

"Yeah, he didn't tell you that?" He asked..

"No!No!I think he did, I must've forgot." Maybe, I just forgotten about it..

Even though I saw the signs, I ignored it. I was innocent and inlove, every red flags I saw went down the drain. Just because I love, I let him fool me like that.

And I watched as you fled the scene

Doe-eyed as you buried me

One heart broke, four hands bloody

Quidditch practice has just ended, sweat and muscle aches was all I could feel. I'm walking back inside when I saw James waiting for me. I was delighted to see him, I felt my heart raced as our eyes meet.

"Y/N, can we talk?" My smile dropped when I sensed that this was about something serious.

"Of course!" I gave him a timid smile.

"I--Uhh, I don't know how to say this but.." He walks up to me, his eyes blank. This was not the James I knew..

"What?" I questioned unsure of how I should react.

"I'm breaking up with you.."

And just like that, I died..

"W-What?" The information refused to sinked in, my lungs suddenly collapsed as tears fell in my eyes.

"I'm sorry. " I looked him in the eyes, there were no guilt or remorse. It's like he already moved on.

"Sorry?That's all you could say?" I laugh bitterly and dry, he just moved his eyes away from me.

"I don't know what--"

"I mean, why?Is it because I'm not pretty enough?Or is it--"

"Prongs!Professor McGonagall's asking for you!" Sirius shouts from a far.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I have to go." The tears flooded down my cheeks as my heart broke to thousand of pieces. Why did he do that to me? After that day, insecurity and anxiety became my new companion.

It didn't take long for James to move on because the next week, the news of Lily and James relationship spread Hogwarts like a wild fire.

"I saw the two of them kissing when James was still with Y/N." I heard from a student, so that's the reason. He cheated, he didn't love me, he wanted Lily not me.

"I heard from Sirius that James just used Y/N to make Lily jealous." And that caught my attention, I saw my friends give me a concern look.

"Let's just go, Y/N..Don't mind them."

They pulled me away from the crowded halls and into our house common room. Did he really just use me? I felt the tears appearing on my warm eyes. It suddenly made sense, the time James and Lily went to Hogsmeade, that's when he totally changed for the worst.

"Y/N, don't you dare cry!" My friend warned me, but it was too late. The tears involuntary fell from my eyes, they couldn't help but feel pity for me. A silent sob escapes my lips, I felt my heart getting worse when I try to breathe. Insecurities seems to find it's way to my brain as my thoughts started to compare Lily to me.

James Potter killed me, not with the killing curse but with a much worser curse ever to exist..

Love..

Those things I did

Just so I could call you mine

The things you did

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

In our relationship, I tried everything to make him stay. To refrain him from finding another. I did anything he enjoyed doing, to pulling pranks on Slytherin to skipping class to sneak out of Hogwarts. I did everything he wanted, just so I could call him mine..

"Oh my god!Malfoy's gonna lose his sanity when he finds out that we put a charmed pink hair dye in his shampoo!" I giggled as we walk away from the Slytherin tower.

"I know!And I couldn't have done it without you, love.." James smiled cheekily at me.

And all James did was call me his but leaves once Lily showed up. He killed me, James Fleamont Potter killed me, he committed a crime, a treason. He betrayed me, he used me.. He's a criminal and I hope to Godric that I'm his favorite crime..

You used me as an alibi

I crossed my heart as you crossed the line

And I defended you to all my friends

I should've trusted my instincts, I didn't listen to my guts when it screamed inside me to not fall for James. And it turns out that it was right, James only used me as an excuse to make Lily Evans jealous.

"And if I put this king here, I would---mmm" James cut me off with a heart shaking kiss, we were in the great hall playing chess when he suddenly kissed me.

Back then I thought that it was sweet but reminiscing now, he only did that when Lily walked in. I was too busy melting in his kiss to notice it, ignorance is really a bliss.

Stupidity really runs in the course of my veins, I should've listen to my friends when they said that there was something odd with James.

"I'm telling you, Y/N..He's just using you as a distraction from his feelings to Lily!" A dear friend of mine pointed out to me.

"James is not like that, I've know him since we were little.."

"Since you know him so well, you also know his weirdly obsession with Evans!" Another dear friend of mine points out.

"Stop being like this guys, he's not like that.." I protested.

Oh, how wrong was I? James was everything they said he was, I was naive enough to defend him. See, how much I loved him.. Love is really something..

And now, every time a siren sounds

I wonder if you're around

'Cause you know that I'd do it all again

Now, it's hard to trust anyone who crosses my path. When they tell a word James once spoke, this siren suddenly blast in my mind and memories of us immediately flashes in my head.

"I like you, Y/N.." A Hufflepuff student confessed to me, I couldn't help but remember James..

"I like you, Y/N..More than I should like a friend.." James was a great pretender.

Now, trusting for me is much harder than killing. I'm afraid, because I know that it will happen again. I'm scared, because I'd do it all again. I will feel the same pain I felt when I was with him.

James Potter killed everything in me..

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do

'Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you

Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made

But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Oh, look what we became

The damage he did is still present to this day, because it's still embedded in the walls of mind, it still lingered in my heart. I was never happy with him, but it's nice to know that he wasn't happy with me either, we were miserable with each other, I was going down with him.

I guess, I'm also in the blame, we both committed crimes but not the same crime. We both caused damage, it's sad to think that after all the troubles we did, I don't regret anything. I hate you, but I keep saying that with a smile in my face.

Why? Because in the end, we were both in the wrong. James used me, betrayed me but I let him do it to me.. Ignored the red flags and warnings, turned a blind eye because I loved him. We both commit crimes that we both knowingly committed.

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

Your favorite crime

'Cause baby, you were mine

James Potter was my favorite crime..

I just wrote this because I can't get this song off my head, I didn't re-read this, they might be typos or mistakes. If you guys have any request for imagines about ( marvel characters, DC characters, stranger things, game of thrones, brooklyn 99, friends, basically anything! I accept everything!)

#imagines #james potter imagine #james+potter+x+reader #marauders #james potter x reader #hogwarts #james potter #no voldemort au #oneshots #Spotify

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ackerfics · 3 years

Note

Hiiii is it okay to request something? I just really love your fics 🥺 I saw that you did song fics, so I was thinking Still Into You by Paramore mixed with Thinking of You by Katy Perry since I legit couldn’t get those out of my head. Also I’m having Mikasa brainrot rn, so maybe a fic about exes getting back together? Where reader is like already in a new relationship with Historia, but they still love Mikasa, and the pining is mutual. Thank you so much 🥺

we sang along to the start of forever — mikasa ackerman

— mikasa ackerman x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: angst but it transitioned into fluff in the end so we’re fine :)))

— summary: you still love each other and like puzzle pieces, the two of you thought about trying out the relationship thing again.

— word count: 4.8k

— author’s notes: i’m so sorry this took so long, we have so many backlogs but i thought that writing would be a great thing to unwind so here it is !! i also made the reader a girl because as soon i started writing, mikasa with a girlfriend just keeps popping in my brain and i can’t help it sjjkjksjs and thank you so much for requesting !!

reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

< you said move on, where do i go

“Hey, there you are.”

A melodic whisper got you out of your daze from looking at your laptop screen. Exams are around the corner and your professors thought that it was the perfect time to dump more work for you. Tomorrow, you have a deadline coming up for a 2k-word essay about a topic that you could care less about, it wasn’t even under your major. Yet here you are, in one of the study areas of your university, trying to squeeze your brain just so you could reach the word count without caring for the outcome of your essay. But it seems like the gods graced your prayers because a small figure with golden blonde hair appeared in front of you, her blue eyes shining under the lights of the study area.

You started dating Historia Reiss not too long ago, it was probably ranging for three months at most. It was quite rocky at first, with you being out of a long-term relationship and Historia balancing out her time between extracurriculars and academics. The long-term relationship that got you all wound up was with a close friend back in high school and it sucked because you were such a good pair together — maybe fate wasn’t by your side that time. The two of you were immature and young but your time together was golden, having known each other way before asking one another out. You promised each other you’d move on and clearly, you did, your eyes finding your current girlfriend sitting in the neighboring study desk, taking out her stationery and color-coordinated notes.

Historia was a sweet person, always patient and caring when it comes to you. You met during a lecture that you two happened to share. She forgot her Apple pencil and luckily, you still had yours in your bag, lending the gadget to the blonde since you already have your laptop perched in front of you. With small smiles, the two of you gradually became friends, sitting next to each other during that lecture. Those small moments grew and later became study meet-ups in cafés or hanging out in one of the university’s libraries. The best thing that connected you two was your personalities, it matched so well that people sometimes thought you knew each other way longer before college. When you noticed Historia showing some signs that she likes you more than a friend, you couldn’t quite believe it at first. It was Historia being so understanding of you that made you say yes to her dates.

And now, here you are.

“Yup, you found me,” you told her, stretching your arms above your head before smiling at your girlfriend.

“Is that essay for Mr. Smith’s class?” Historia asked, leaning over to your side to get a glimpse of your screen. She patted your shoulder at the number of words you wrote. “Wow, you already got past the 1k mark. That’s amazing! Don’t forget to take breaks, though.”

“Of course, Tori,” you smiled. “You, too. I know your exams start four days from now. How is that holding up?”

Historia opened her readings, sighing at the thought of the dreaded season of the student body. “I don’t know if I can answer anything that well. I mean, we’ve been having study dates every day but I get so nervous just thinking about the exams. I know I’m going to be prepared but my anxiety said ‘no’.” She buried her hands through her hair, eyes softening when your face started showing how worried you are for her. “I’ll just think that this will be over a week from now.” Historia reached a hand out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Hey, why don’t we go to that restaurant just outside of uni for dinner?”

You took her hand in yours, squeezing it affectionately. “I think that’s perfect.”

The two of you proceeded to work on your separate tasks until you both agreed that it’s time for a good dinner. Historia helped you tidy your things up, occasionally smiling softly at you when you yawn. You bid goodbye to some of the students in the study area you know and the two of you went out of the room with joined hands. It was a nice walk around the university, the golden glow of the Sun bathing everything in orange, and making you relax despite the many backlogs still on your to-do list. That was until you saw a familiar figure going out of one of the many buildings of the Business Department. The blonde beside you even recognized the young woman hiding her face behind her scarf, blue eyes darting to you with a worried air.

It also happened that Mikasa Ackerman looked up from adjusting her scarf, her stormy gray eyes meeting with yours by chance.

Her eyes slightly widened at the sight of you, her gaze then dropping to your hands still joined with Historia’s before pursing her lips. Looking up to tangle your eyes again, she rose her hand in a little wave. You reciprocated the gesture weakly, never leaving your stare off her retreating form. You noticed that her shoulders became tense after that little encounter, fists enclosing the straps of her backpack and steps hurrying to get to her apartment that was just a walking distance from the university.

You felt a light squeeze coming from the girl beside you, knocking you out of your reverie.

“Let’s go?” Historia asked, eyes knowingly roaming your face.

“Mm-hmm,” you only hummed, following your girlfriend out of the campus.

You thought there wasn’t anything left but why were you still stuck in a limbo that you couldn’t get out of when you stared into those gray hues haunting your dreams?

< recount the night that i first met your mother

Mikasa had her life figured out.

Everything was perfect. She has the most amazing people she can call her friends. She has the most supportive parents (and brother, but he can be a little shit sometimes but that’s beside the point). She has the perfect grades that can maintain her standing in the university, earning her great credits from various professors on the campus. She has scored a good apartment with her best friend, Sasha, all equipped with the best rooms and views that she can pay for a reasonable price. She is still a member of the university’s track and field long-distance running team, a regular and a manager at the same time. She also had the most beautiful girl as her lover and confidante, someone she could be herself with (not that her closest friends and brother didn’t see her real personality but being with her lover was a different kind of bliss compared to hanging out with her friends).

Well, had a girlfriend.

Ever since meeting you again earlier that night, suddenly Mikasa’s schedule for the night seems to blur.

It was her turn to cook for dinner but she couldn’t do anything properly. First, she managed to burn her sauteed vegetables, something that she had never done before knowing that this is her favorite go-to dish. Second, she boiled the pasta too long and now they’re too soggy. She nearly threw the pot down the sink but she didn’t want their neighbors to call the cops to their place, she just didn’t want to have a repeat of the first time that happened. (The first time their neighbors called the cops because of them was all Sasha’s fault, it appeared to the brown-haired girl that Mikasa’s cooking is one of the best in the world that she screamed bloody murder in the middle of the night.) Now, the gray-eyed girl had no choice but to start from scratch with the pasta, it was a good thing it was only the pasta though.

The front door of their apartment opened with a bang while Mikasa tried to concentrate this time. Without looking up, she can see a brown-headed blur dashing towards the kitchen. “Stop right there, Sasha,” she said while stirring the alfredo sauce in the pan. “If you reach for the chicken one more time, I’m going to skin you alive. I don’t have the energy to hold your hungry ass back right now.”

Sasha backed away at the look of her roommate who was ready to commit violence if she steps out of line. “Whoa, who pissed at your day?”

Mikasa blinked, realizing that she might have been unreasonable with her remark. Of course, she wasn’t the only tired one in their apartment right now. Sasha was also struggling with academics and extracurriculars, not to mention, her love life is perfectly stable despite being in a relationship for a year. Not that Mikasa felt slightly jealous but she did everything she could to save their relationship but it still ended on a consensual note. The black-haired girl relaxed her tense posture, sighing deeply to expel the negativity accumulating her mind at the moment (Sasha called them dark forces after Mikasa told her about it, it took everything not to leave the room when the words came out of her friend’s mouth). Turning back on her sauce, Mikasa stated, “I’m sorry, I’m just stressed. You know, with the exams coming up and my track team entering this meet at the end of the month for official records. It’s just,” she sighed, “too much right now.”

“Aw, Mikasa,” Sasha empathized, going around the countertop to wrap her arms around Mikasa. She placed her head against her friend’s, petting the latter’s hair until they became a mess on her head. “I know just the thing to make us feel better. Let’s watch some of those anime movies that Armin recommended while eating dinner. Or anything that you want to watch if you don’t feel like watching anime right now.”

Mikasa smiled a little, resting her head on top of Sasha’s and relishing the comfort her friend gave her. “Thanks, I appreciate it, Sash.”

The moment she shared with Sasha reminded her of when you two were in high school. At that time, Mikasa was one of the star athletes that belonged to the track team. After the rigorous training their coach gave them, Mikasa’s knee started to hurt. This was dismissed by the head coach, saying that this wasn’t serious at all. You witnessed it when she ran more laps than what was written in her training regime to the point that her knee gave out. It was a good thing that her knee only acquired a sprain and a good rest from physical activities for some time will heal it gradually. Mikasa never had anything against it because getting some time off from her club meant that she could spend her free time with you. It was spent staying on her family’s couch, watching movies to pass the time while making small talk about her friends. The reminiscing continued until Sasha helped her prepare the living room for their movie night. She just couldn’t help but associate every little thing with you. You were a great part of her life since middle school.

She missed everything about you.

While the movie played out, her mind went to a time when it was time to introduce Mikasa as your girlfriend to your mother.

It was in the first months of being first-years in university. There was an issued academic break set by the faculties, taking the time to invite Mikasa to your home. You were so excited that that’s all you can talk about while the gray-eyed girl drove you two to your hometown. That was the only thing enjoyable in the entire trip. Everything went into shit when you blurted out that Mikasa has been more than a friend to you ever since high school. The look on your mother’s face was enough for the two of you to tell that this shouldn’t go on as planned.

“So, you’re telling me that Mikasa has been in our home, doing God knows what to you since high school?” Your mother flatly questioned.

The coldness of her tone made you stiffen in your seat. You can see Mikasa from the corner of your eyes trying to calm herself down by rubbing your hand under the table. It couldn’t be helped that your father, the only understanding person in the family, was absent because of his job. This is why your father chose to live separately from your mom, seeing as she was the kind of authoritative parent and wife, always hovering around each of her family members to keep them in line. You now understand why your father left her because God forbid, it was tempting to cut off ties with the person who gave birth to you as she threw degrading words at Mikasa left and right. You furrowed your eyebrows, tightening your hold on your girlfriend’s hand, which was trembling on your lap. The first time you saw her this shaken was when her knee got injured during her track training. Her skin was so pale like that time that you wanted to pull her out of the house and stay at a nearby hotel to get away from your mother’s wrath.

“Mom, please,” you pleaded, tears prickling your eyes.

“No, [Name], don’t you say another word,” she pointedly snapped at you. “I feel like I have become a failure of a mother. I don’t understand why you have a woman as your lover. It’s just not right. I support it but not if it’s with my daughter.”

You abruptly stood up with half-lidded eyes that never strayed from your mother’s similar shaded ones. Your hand still gripped Mikasa’s, your thumb stroking the back of it in a soothing circle that contrasted the indifferent gaze you gave your mother. When you were a child, you understood her sentiments because you’re her only child, the only person left in her life. But when she started badmouthing the little things observed from other people, you started questioning her parenting. You were told that people who love others of the same sex were sinning the word of a divine being but if that’s the case, you’d gladly be condemned to the pits of Hell if it meant protecting Mikasa from your mother’s harsh words. “We’re leaving.”

“What—?” It was Mikasa.

“Come on, Mika. Let’s find some restaurant downtown. This place is becoming stuffy and I don’t want you to suffocate any further.”

“Hey, Mikasa? Are you alright?”

Mikasa jumped, looking around at their apartment’s living room as if she was confused as to why she was there. She slightly shook her head before turning to the concerned brown irises of her roommate. Trying for a convincing smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, Mikasa forced a laugh as she mindlessly twirled the pasta on her plate with a wistful air surrounding her. “Yeah, I think I’m alright. Just saw my ex earlier when I got out of my last lecture for the day. I feel like that’s the reason why I don’t feel like myself today.”

The movie was then forgotten when Sasha positioned her body so that she could give Mikasa her undivided attention. With a serious expression that the gray-eyed young woman didn’t see in a long time, Sasha asked, “That gorgeous beauty?”

A nod was all Mikasa could answer. Gorgeous was an understatement when it comes to imagining you. You’re practically the most beautiful girl Mikasa saw in her lifetime.

“Damn, it’s been what? Half a year since you guys broke up?”

A nod from Mikasa. She wrapped her arms around her knees, pushing them further into her chest, feeling so small at the moment. “It would have been fine if she’s alone but…”

Sasha’s mouth parted with realization; eyes wide as she stared at her roommate. “Oh,” she breathed.

Scooting closer to the gray-eyed girl, Sasha wrapped an arm around her shoulder to let the former lean against her side. She always viewed the two of you to be endgame, seeing as you were dating since you were in high school. It sucks that no matter how much the two of you proved that you belong to one another, it just ends inevitably. Sasha even liked you when Mikasa introduced you to her new roommate when you were first-years. You were shining in the brown-eyed girl’s eyes; smile so bright that she couldn’t help but think you’re pretty, hair perfectly mussed by the wind during the ride to the apartment, casual clothing fitting you in the most pleasing way possible, and personality that one could describe as amazing. You even gave her some of your food when the three of you ate out together. (Mikasa always scolded you for giving away your food when you’re barely even eating regularly.) And when you guys broke up, Sasha saw how Mikasa ended up at the lowest point of her life, locking up inside her room and only going out when Sasha’s asleep. It was only recently that Mikasa slowly became herself again.

Now, Mikasa became that closed-off version of herself after the break-up, and Sasha instantly pulled her in for a hug.

The television kept playing the movie they chose to watch, Mikasa’s silent sobs blending with the movie’s dialogue and seeping through the night.

< she kissed my lips, i taste your mouth

You nearly pulled away when you tasted lemon instead of strawberry.

You nearly looked away when you saw azure instead of metallic gray after the kiss.

You felt so bad for thinking of midnight tresses instead of spun gold every time you lay in bed after hours of studying. Guilt bloomed in your whole torso like a giant wad of roses prickling your insides with their thorns, images of Mikasa plaguing your mind a week after you saw her again after six months. And every time you close your eyes to let sleep pull you in their embrace, arms so secure would wrap around your middle in your dreams, the smell of a rose-scented soap enveloping you in a warm cocoon. It was so contrasting to the minty scent you tried so hard to get used to in those three months you were together with Historia. You promised yourself you’d never date someone else after Mikasa but you tried because she told you to find someone who will treat you better than her. As much as you pleaded with your rationality to not follow her advice, Historia was a breath of fresh air.

It was a rainy night the time you and Mikasa broke up. Funny how you always love the rain and yet the one moment tormenting your daydreams occurred in a thunderstorm.

“Mikasa, what are you talking about?”

Your favorite-colored irises couldn’t meet your stare. “I said you deserve to be with someone who can make you glow with happiness.”

“Where is this coming from?”

She only shook her head, short black hair moving along with the movement. “I feel like I’m not giving enough in this relationship. I noticed how happier you look when you hang out with your friends from your department but when you’re with me, you’re mellowed down and so drained that I’m starting to feel like I’ve done something wrong.” Mikasa buried her hands in her hair, elbows placed on her knees, making herself feel smaller in front of you. You stood up from your bed to kneel in front of her, covering her cheeks tenderly with the palms of your hands. Yet she continued, “My mind is telling me these thoughts that I denied a long time ago since we started university.”

“What thoughts, Mika?”

“That our spark had died down for good.”

You searched her face for any sign of a joke but you could only stare at her downturned eyes.

“That I think we should break up for you to be happier with other people.”

“No,” you murmured, tears starting to blur your vision. “Mikasa.”

“I love you so much to see you unhappy with me.”

“I’m never unhappy when I’m with you. Where did you get that idea?”

Mikasa smiled despite her wobbly lips, gingerly placing her lips on your forehead. “I love you, [Name], I hope you’ll find someone bright enough to let you shine even more.”

It hurts just thinking about that but something pinched it even more when you stared at Historia in front of you, Facetiming someone on her phone. You two were celebrating the end of your exams in a café, treats covering the expanse of your table. It was a breather from all the stressful weeks draining your energy and now you feel refreshed. The book you recently bought was snug in your hands, eyes skimming over the words as Historia animatedly talked to her friend, Ymir. Hearing her laugh at something the freckled girl said, you couldn’t help but look up from a paragraph you were engrossed in. Historia looks so happy, cheeks flushed and giggles so clear that she couldn’t even contain them with her small hand. She never looked like this with you and as much as you anticipated the pain brought by the sight, it didn’t come.

Now, you understood what Mikasa felt, only this time you had to let Historia go because she already belonged to someone else.

Historia just said goodbye to her friend and you knew you had to hold on to this chance.

“Hey, Historia, I have a question.”

She sipped her iced tea. “Shoot.”

“You like Ymir, don’t you?”

The silence and flustered reaction that followed was all it took for you to smile.

< no more mistakes ‘cause in your eyes i'd like to stay

Getting out of a four-hour lecture was bliss to Mikasa. She stretched her arms over her head, letting out a deep breath of relief at the thought of spending her weekend without any backlogs. Finally, she can relax without feeling guilty. After all that hell her department professors gave her, she deserved this break.

Mikasa walked down the hallways with a slight spring in her steps, feeling her phone vibrate with a text message in her bag. Stopping by a little bit at the side of the hallway, Mikasa opened the outer compartment of her bag and turned on her phone. A smile instantly overtook her confused expression.

armin

hey, wanna watch a movie tonite?

eren suggested we could unwind after the exams

figured you needed it

you can stay the night here too !!

Her fingers typed out a reply almost giddily.

Sure.

Let me just text Sasha that I won’t be sleeping in the apartment tonight.

Another message from Armin appeared.

armin

yey !! see you later, Mikasa

At this point, her smile couldn’t be erased on her face.

See you later, Armin.

Then, another message from Armin popped out that made Mikasa laugh a little.

armin

this is eren

mikasa, can u bring dinner PLS

armin and i are too lazy to cook

plus, you love us 🥺🥺🥺

The gray-eyed girl rolled her eyes, typing out a ‘fine’ before closing her phone. Her brother was sometimes too hard to handle but he can be sweet as well and saying that he needs dinner is just a way for him to say that he misses Mikasa’s cooking. When she looked up, a very familiar blonde and one of Mikasa’s classmates in a general subject came into view in one of the gazebos. Confusion was an understatement while she continued staring at Historia and Ymir laughing as if they were the only ones in the world. It was only a few weeks ago that she saw the blonde girl holding hands with you after a whole day of lectures. Maybe it was because she was staring too long at the couple that Ymir turned in her direction. As the freckled girl recognized the black-haired, stoic girl in one of their general classes, Ymir rose a hand in the air as a greeting. It also didn’t help that Historia looked at where Ymir was waving, with Mikasa tensing at the attention. She hastily waved back before turning in the direction of her car in the parking lot.

Several theories flickered through Mikasa’s head as she pulled out of the parking lot, the department store in their part of the city as her destination. Her mind was still a questioning mess the whole time she roamed the vegetable aisle until she bumped into another shopping cart, the clang of the metal breaking her trance.

“I’m sorry,” she told the person holding the other cart without looking up from her groceries.

“It’s fine.”

Mikasa quickly lifted her head at your voice. She probably looked like an idiot gawking at you in the middle of an aisle. You were dressed in an aquamarine shirt tucked in a pair of black slacks; your hair slung over one of your shoulders but for her, you looked so pretty. She concluded that you also got back from one of your lectures since your bag was placed inside the shopping cart, leaning beside a carton of strawberry milk. At the sight of the beverage, Mikasa’s chest pounded with her loud heartbeat, all the memories of you saying you like the taste of strawberries because of her entering her mind. Even after a full minute of you staring at each other, Mikasa couldn’t bear to look away. You’re so beautiful and she misses you so much.

“I miss you, too, Mikasa,” you murmured with flushed cheeks. “And you look good as usual.”

Mikasa’s face burned with embarrassment, reaching her ears, as she realized that she said her thoughts out loud. She was acting like she was in high school when she came to terms with her feelings for you. “U-Uhm, how are y-you?” Fucking hell, what is she stuttering for? It’s not like she got a below-passing score on one of her majors.

You softly smiled, tucking a stray lock of her behind your ear. “I’m doing fine. I was just thinking of making some homemade dinner tonight.”

Mikasa nodded, recalling that you got a single apartment. “Me, too, but Eren asked me to make dinner for our movie night with Armin.”

At the mention of the two men, your face brightened. “How are they?”

The gray-eyed young woman reciprocated your smile. “Armin is still reeling Eren from doing anything stupid. You know how that dingbat is.” Your laugh made her day better. She faintly noticed that the two of you started walking side by side, pushing your carts to who knows what section of the department store. “The last time I saw them was before the exam week and we were studying so we didn’t do any catching up. Speaking of exams, how are yours?”

You hummed. “I think I got a passing grade on Parasitology and Microbiology. Those were the only subjects keeping me up for how many nights in a row.” You chuckled at your caffeinated state the previous weeks. “But the others were all papers so I guess I’m fine as of now.”

“Don’t tell me you got yourself palpitations from all the coffee.”

“You know me so well, Mika,” you laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to order coffee every time I go out this time. I don’t want a repeat of that night when I studied for Para. It was worse because I don’t have a roommate. How is Sasha doing, by the way? Still a ball of sunshine, I hope.” You spotted a cereal box you wanted to try so you mindlessly reached out for it but it was on the top shelf. Mikasa noticed your struggles, stopping behind you after chuckling to herself at how adorable you looked to reach the cereal box. You visibly tensed when you felt her front brush against your back, the box of cereal greeting your vision with Mikasa’s hand brushing on yours. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“You’re welcome,” she answered, patting your head before taking her cart and pushing it in the direction of the dairy section. “Yeah, Sasha is still as rowdy as the day you last visited. I threatened her again when she tried eating what I was plating for dinner. It was not a lovely night.” Mikasa paused, looking behind her when you’re not following close. She slightly panicked when she saw you looking down and gripping on the handle of the shopping cart. “[Name]? Are you okay?”

“Mikasa, I’m still into you.” You faced her with a smile. “Will you let me love you with all my heart again?”

Mikasa was speechless, her throat clogging up with overflowing emotions. She let out a delighted light, looking at you with eyes full of love.

“Yes. Will you let me in your heart again, [Name]?”

“Always, Mika.”

Their song of forever played once again and it felt so right that they wondered why they stopped it in the first place.

#aot #snk #attack on titan #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa #mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa ackerman x you #ex to lovers #modern au

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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

Text

Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble

A/N: A Draco fic no-one asked for! I’m rereading A Discovery of Witches so it’s got me inspired. I don’t plan to post anything over the weekend, I want a couple of days off before I post every day next week. This wasn't requested but I was inspired, so I hope you enjoy!

Title: Macbeth, Act 4: Scene 1

Summary: Draco needs a new stockist.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: FLUFF - SO MUCH FLUFF.

Word count: 2.2k

Of all the avenues of employment open to Draco Malfoy after his graduation from Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, he surprised everyone by staying on at the school to apprentice under Professor Slughorn.

Horace Slughorn had retired once before and was eager to do so again; already fantasising about his golden years in the countryside. Draco Malfoy was his first and only choice for successor to his post – his grades in class rivalling those of Hermione Granger.

Draco’s training took two years where in that time he became able to rattle off ever potion ingredient and method just from hearing the very name of the potion.

Three years into his career and his first year teaching without Slughorn at his side, Draco’s stockist retires – also desiring a life in the country.

It leaves him in a lurch.

He spends an entire month of his summer holiday researching potion shops before discovering one off the beaten track in Diagon Alley – closer to muggle London than the rest of the shops. So much so that the shop wasn’t protected by the enchantments surrounding Diagon Alley and as a result, the shop seemed to have a steady stream of muggle customers.

Draco enters Cauldron Bubble and is immediately taken back by the sheer amount of stock. Potion ingredients, materials for poppets, prayer candles are just a few of the items that catch his attention. The intoxicating scent of myrrh and sweet orange washes over him. A heady smell that soon opens up to more delicate notes such as vanilla and tansy.

Draco doesn’t immediately seek out the items on his list, but instead walks slowly around the shop, committing it all to memory. There are shelves of books dedicated to the craft of potion brewing but also in the art of divination; particularly tarot readings and palmistry. The entire back wall of the shop is dedicated to what could be hundreds of small draws; each filled with their named herb or plant.

He wanders through the store, feeling entirely at ease with the idea of spending the rest of his day here, discovering the shop’s deepest secrets.

A voice greets him as he finishes his circuit of the small shop, “How can I help you today?”

Draco smiles in greeting, “I’m hoping you have these ingredients,” he says, handing you his long list.

You read over the list, “I do. I have all of these – would you like to take them now or would you like them delivered…” you trail off, looking at him for his name.

“Draco Malfoy. I’m the Potions Professor at Hogwarts.”

“Draco,” You confirm, “I can get these for you now unless you’d like them sent to Hogwarts?”

“Now is fine,” he smiles, “I’m intrigued by your collection if I’m honest.”

You laugh, nodding knowingly, “It’s my pride and joy.”

Draco agrees, leaning on the counter, “It’s bigger than my stockroom if I’m being honest.”

“Now that makes me even happier.” You declare, pointing at the Professor.

The ingredients take time to be collected, but the silence that should be awkward, isn’t. It’s filled with conversation after conversation about the curriculum at Hogwarts and how long Cauldron Bubble has been open.

Draco admits to himself, as you finish tying the final string bow on his parcels, that he feels a little sad about leaving. He had enjoyed his time with you regardless of how short it had been; he felt as if he knew you. He felt as if he could form a friendship with you.

You hand him his parcels in a paper bag, smiling, “I hope to see you again soon,” you say in goodbye.

Draco smiles at you, “I hope to come back soon.” He offers as his parting.

---------------

On a bleak January morning, Draco walks into your shop, stamping his feet to get the last of the sharp, winter cold out of his body.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” You smile.

Draco grins in reply, handing over his list, “Another stock up.”

“Another? You came in before Christmas as I remember.” You smirk at the blonde-haired man, “Did someone miss me?”

Draco blushes, stuttering out his answer, “The… the students have had a few weeks off, they’ll have fallen into old habits with potion ingredients.”

You laugh, “You are one smoother thinker, Draco. It’s a good job I knew you were coming; I have your usual stock set aside.” You read down his list, checking you have everything put away, but you stop at one item. “Agrimony?”

“It’s coming up to Valentine’s Day.” Draco offers as explanation.

One of the properties of Agrimony is that it can break enchantments. Draco uses the yellow flower in his antidote for love potions. He frowns at the thought of how much antidote he would have to brew for those on the receiving end of an unwanted love potion. If he could ban any potion, it would be Amortentia. Not that he didn’t believe in love or anything along those lines, but the effects of Amortentia are never real and the aftermath is often worse than being under its spell.

Through his last two Valentine’s Days at Hogwarts as Potions Professor, he had to comfort countless students through the aftermath of the potion as well as deduct house points and hand out detentions to the students who think it funny to unknowingly drug a fellow student.

In his antidote for students, Draco also sprinkles in the petals of Feverfew and Boneset to ensure protection from enchantments or a broken heart, Draco never knows but he makes sure that his students are protected, nonetheless.

You nod at Draco, understanding the need for a potion to break enchantments through this particular holiday. “Here’s your Agrimony as well as your usual stock, is there anything else you need?”

Draco thinks it over, “I better stock up on Boneset, Feverfew, and Adder’s Tongue too.”

You raise an eyebrow, “It’s a very thorough potion you’re making here, Draco.”

He nods, “Too many students are drugged with the Amortentia potion and little is done to control it so I do what I can to protect any student I can.”

“That’s a wonderful thing to do, Draco.” You say quietly; touched by his words.

“I don’t just make potions with the plants and herbs. I make charms to go in their bags and to hang in their rooms too. Anything to protect.” Draco states; thinking back to a group of fifth year girls who had become targets by a group of sixth year boys; each girl suffering through a love potion before coming down from its high. Draco had made sure they each had a charm to carry in their bag as well as a vial of the antidote should one of them ingest the potion again.

You nod silently; overcome by the emotion in his words. You know then and there just how dedicated Draco was to his profession and the students he sees every day. You hand him his bag of herbs and plants with a smile which he returns before walking to the door.

He’s almost out the door when your voice calls out again, “Draco, I know we don’t know each other very well except for when you need to fill your stockroom, but you’re a good teacher and a good man – you know that right?”

He turns to you with his hand on the door handle; silver lining his eyes, “Thank you.” He whispers before opening the door and leaving.

-----

Your words play on his mind through the week leading up to Valentine’s Day and the week after the holiday too. He spends all of his spare time in the hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey; offering the antidote and words of comfort to each and every student that come in with symptoms of being drugged with Amortentia.

From Madame Pomfrey’s ceaseless ranting through those two weeks, Draco knows that she feels just as strongly about the need to rid the world of a potion like Amortentia.

Draco starts to think of you more and more, especially after each visit to Cauldron Bubbles where you go through his ingredient list with the practiced precision of a Potioneer.

His feelings for you really do take him by surprise. It comes with elation as he finally has a name for the butterflies in his stomach and the racing of his heart whenever he thinks of your smile or your focused look as you check and recheck the ingredients on the list.

He starts to visit Cauldron Bubble more often; making his way through the Professors at Hogwarts to see if they may possibly need something for their class. Professor Trelawney always has something for him to pick up, and Draco feels the urge to apologise to her for every time he was rude to her when he was a teenager.

Draco’s feelings for you only increase with each visit. He craves to see your face light up when he walks in the door; the bell above the door announcing his arrival. The light flirting with each visit was pushing him towards something more.

If only he could think of how to tell you.

---------------------

Draco ropes Madame Pomfrey into his plans to woo you; though she doesn’t necessarily know that

“Please, Poppy, you must have something you need to stock up on… I mean Madame Pomfrey,” Draco corrects when he meets her glare.

She raises an eyebrow, unimpressed with the former student, “You’re awfully interested in my stock cupboard, Mr. Malfoy. Whatever for?”

“Call it my New Year’s Resolution.”

“It’s May,” Madame Pomfrey nonchalantly reminds him, replacing the water jugs at the side of each hospital bed.

“Of the New Year,” Draco emphasises, following her, “And mine is to help more. So are you sure there is nothing I can’t get you?”

Madame Pomfrey sighs, bustling back to her desk. She notes down a few ingredients, “I’m running low on these herbs and plants for a tea I brew so you can get these for me.”

Draco beams, taking the list, even going so far as to kiss Madame Pomfrey on the cheek before sprinting back to his private quarters where he can floo to Diagon Alley… and to you.

--------------------

“Draco!” You call, “Back already? You aren’t due another visit for oh… another week or so.” Your eyes alight with mirth as you pick fun at the Professor.

He blushes, waving his list in the air, “Sent on an errand by Madame Pomfrey.”

“Don’t keep it to yourself! Hand it over, let’s see what Madame Pomfrey needs.” You cover your mouth to stifle the laugh as you read over the list from Draco, “Madame Pomfrey gave you this list did she?”

“Handed it to me herself, why?”

“Draco, to say you’re a Potions Professor, you can be quite dense.”

He frowns; you laugh at his puzzled expression. “Madame Pomfrey sent you to get the ingredients for a tea that curbs the menstrual cycle. A form of contraception.”

Draco doesn’t need to look into a mirror to know he’s blushing; he can feel the heat radiating from his cheeks – he’s sure it could heat his own cauldron. “Ah,” he begins, “Well, that’s a very responsible thing to have in a school like Hogwarts, wouldn’t you say?”

You nod, “Very much so. Madame Pomfrey to be admired.”

“Yes, I agree.”

“And you as well. For being her humble servant for this task.”

Draco rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “It was nothing. Truthfully, I pestered her until she gave me a list of ingredients.”

“Now why would you do that?”

“To see you,” He admits, eyes shining with truth.

“You pestered the Matron of Hogwarts for a list of ingredients… all to see me?”

He nods silently. Your eyes crinkle with your smile, “That has to be the cutest thing anyone has ever done for me. How long have you been coming here to see me as well as to get potion ingredients?”

Some part of Draco wants to scream as he admits, “Since January.”

“That long?” You ask, eyes wide.

He nods again.

“Why didn’t you just ask me to dinner?”

“I didn’t want to offend you and lose you as my stockist.”

You laugh, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out since January you know?”

“No, I didn’t know.” He almost shouts; hating the fact that he could have been dating you all this time but was too scared to make a move.

“And you wouldn’t lose me as your stockist even if we did date.”

“No?”

“Haven’t you noticed that I’ve been undercharging you for your ingredients?”

Draco does the quick math in his head; thinking of how healthy his department budget had been when he handed it in to McGonagall back in March. “No… I didn’t notice.”

You nod your head slowly, “That was my way of flirting as well as the open ended questions.”

Draco rubs a hand over his face, “I can’t believe we’ve been dancing around each other for this long.”

Laughing you make your way from behind the counter. You pull his hands from his face, keeping them in yours, “Hey Draco, want to go to dinner with me?”

He grins down at you; letting the joy run through his body, “I’d love to.”

******

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn

Draco Malfoy taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @obxmxybxnk @obx-beach

#draco malfoy x reader #Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfic #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x reader #draco x you #draco fanfiction #draco x y/n #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #draco fluff #draco fanfic #draco malfoy fluff #harry potter imagines

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masterjedilenawrites · 3 years

Text

The Sniper and The Medic: Chapter 10

Starring: Crosshair, OC Joan Vo

Chapter Warnings: Discussions of bullying, death, injuries, and other tragic things, offset by a lil fluff at the end

Taglist: @proadhog @skippyhopperwisdom

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

A/N: Just want to quickly apologize for the 2 week delay in updating this story, but also this will be my 99th post on this blog which is kinda fitting once you read it, so I guess some things are just meant to be...

< Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter >

Chapter 10: Good Grief

He met her at the designated place that evening, barely able to contain the mixture of excitement and dread that welled within him. On the one hand, Crosshair welcomed any opportunity to spend time with Joan, especially after she had shown interest in wanting to grow closer to him. She looked as beautiful as ever when she joined him, wearing her cute little shorts and signature smile.

But on the other hand, they were running out of time. He deployed tomorrow afternoon. How could they possibly grow closer in such a short window?

And how could he possibly say good-bye if they did?

He led her through the set of double doors and down a long hallway, keeping his strides as relaxed as he could, despite his every nerve being on edge. She walked fairly close alongside him, but nothing too scandalous. Not that it was likely they'd be caught. This part of the facility was more-or-less abandoned, only used to house the more rarely-used supplies for the maintenance crew. Half the walls were stripped of their usual white sheen, revealing cracked plaster and dirty insulation instead. Only a few like himself knew it was a good place to go when in need of some privacy.

But there was also something here he wanted to show Joan. A way to help her understand his life as a defective clone. He wasn't sure why the idea had popped into his head earlier; he should have just suggested the simulation room again, programmed it to a nice, romantic beach or something. But it was too late to go back now.

They neared the door in question and Crosshair punched in the code. He gestured for Joan to walk in ahead of him, wanting to keep an eye on her reactions.

It was barely considered a room, more of a corridor that was meant to connect this hallway with another. A motion-sensor light flickered on as they entered. Miscellaneous boxes and crates had been pushed up against the wall on the left, dusty and unimportant. It was the righthand wall that gave this space significance. It had long been reduced to its concrete foundation, and chiseled crudely over most of its surface were names and numbers. The largest script was in the top left corner, only two symbols.

"Ninety-nine," Joan read out loud as she stood in the center of the room and looked over the wall in reverence. "This is a memorial."

Crosshair nodded. "All the clones who've died here, never stepping foot into battle. Most of them defects, like 99. Their names won't be found anywhere else. This... is their only legacy."

She nodded at him solemnly in understanding. He watched as she brushed her hands over some of the etchings, fingers tracing the lines as she read them over. There were mostly numbers, many of them not having lived long enough to find a nickname. One of his own batch-mates had been like that, only living a few short years before his defective heart had given out.

Crosshair tore his gaze away from Joan to find his brother's number on the wall. Beneath it was the second lost brother, who had made it just a little longer. Scraps, they'd called him. He brought his hand up to rest alongside their names, frowning deeply at the memories they gave him.

He felt Joan come to stand next to him and he swallowed hard.

"He was sick all the time, but he kept trying," he explained. "He was worse off than me, and yet I was the kid who cried every night, and he'd talk me down. He'd tell me we had to keep fighting, we had to prove them all wrong. And then one day... he was gone. He'd failed some test and they just... they took him and...."

He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. Thankfully Joan didn't need him to. She laced her fingers through his and squeezed reassuringly.

"They told me I'd be next," he said, his voice getting lower. "The Kaminoans. The training Sergeants. The other cadets. With Wrecker, Hunter, it was obvious they'd be useful, their mutations were fine. But me? What was I good for? Who could look at me and know what I was capable of?"

His words hung between them for a short while before Joan gave another squeeze of his hand.

"I'm so sorry, Crosshair," she said and he knew she meant it. "You deserved better. They all did. But... I know this might not sound quite right, but without that pain, you might not have become as determined and passionate and committed and loyal as you are now."

He finally looked away from the wall and down at her, surprised that she remembered the words he'd once written for her, all those months ago. The words he believed embodied who he really was.

"You didn't let your past break you. You used it to make you stronger. You should be proud of that."

He had never been told such a thing before. He'd never been given permission to feel proud, to take ownership of his life. It made him feel... relieved. To know that all of his struggles could mean something made the burden of grief that much lighter to bear.

And to hear it coming from Joan made him feel things, too. He realized he wanted to kiss her. She was standing somewhat close, her fingers were still grasping his own. She seemed to be enough at ease, comfortable here with him, even in such a sad moment. But he panicked and looked away before he could act on such impulses. He still didn't know what she wanted, or any of the things she'd alluded to having gone through herself. It didn't feel right to make to such an intimate move yet.

"Um, we can talk about you now," he stuttered awkwardly, overly aware of how clammy his hand felt under hers. "If you want...."

She laughed a little, but it wasn't a joyful sound. "I'm afraid my story's not any happier."

"Oh."

She cocked her head a little and reached up with her free hand to lightly touch the tattoo around his eye. "Didn't get a chance to tell you before, but I really like this. It's perfect."

He smirked but kept his eyes carefully fixed on hers, waiting. She seemed to be deciding what she wanted to say.

"Not sure if you've seen my own." She tried to sound playful, letting go of his hand in order to turn slightly and show off the splattering of tattooed birds around the thick scar on her thigh. "It's... kind of a memorial, too."

Joan looked toward the wall and took in a measured breath. "When the war started, my family did what we could to help. But then comes the Republic with its grand, shiny new army, and they tell us they've got it from here. Go home. My parents listened... I didn't. I couldn't. No, I marched up to the first battalion I could find and I told them I'd be helping them whether they liked it or not. They were the 116th, led by Commander Crowe."

She held a small smile on her face, fondness peeking through the sorrow like rays of sunlight into a curtained room.

"Your brothers," said Crosshair knowingly.

"Mmhmm.... They were so good to me. They taught me everything I know. We went through so much together. And then one day..." she looked over at Crosshair apologetically as she borrowed his previous words to tell her own story, "my speeder exploded, messed up my leg really bad. I did everything I could to try and fix it myself, but we were short on supplies and it just wasn't getting any better. Crowe insisted I go to Coruscant for treatment. I didn't want to, I hadn't been apart from them in years, but there was no choice."

And then the curtains were snapped shut and all that was left on Joan's face was sorrow. Sorrow and darkness.

"They died while I was recovering. All of them. A single missile to their ship somewhere in deep space. And that was it. No more 116th battalion. No more family."

Instinctually, Crosshair reached for Joan's hand as she had done for him. She seemed surprised, breaking out of her haze and looking at his hand like it was the only thing grounding her.

"I should have died with them," she said in a hoarse voice. "At least, that's what I told myself for seven months. Until Cody came. He'd been good friends with Crowe, knew all about me. He told me to get over myself. That I was still alive for a reason and that I did nothing to honor their memories by letting myself waste away. And then he offered me a job, said I could help some of his other brothers, the way I'd done for the 116th."

Slowly her sadness was fading and Crosshair was grateful. It was easier to hold on to his own pain and learn to live with it, but seeing the same feelings in Joan had scared him. He didn't know what to do to help her. As she wrapped up her story, though, he began to realize that he already had.

"He said it was an experimental unit and that none of you would look like, well, the regular clones, so maybe it'd be easier for me to get back into it. And it was. I knew I loved all of you boys from the first day. You were all confident and eager. None of the battle-worn spirits I was used to dealing with. You gave me life again. Helped me rediscover my purpose. My passion."

She took a step closer to him, holding his hand back firmly.

"You were the tough one," she smirked. "You're so calm and relaxed, so sure of yourself. Any time I felt anxious or like I wasn't making a difference, I knew I could count on you to put me at ease. Even when you were a little sassy."

She giggled, but Crosshair's mind was reeling. She thought he was the assured one? This whole time she'd been seeing him the same way he saw her?

"And then, you know, you stood me up that one day," she sighed dramatically and then it was his stomach that started doing flips as the regret from his actions returned. "Which happened to be the, uh, anniversary of their passing.... And I didn't think I'd be able to do anything that day, except that I knew you'd be coming by, and so I actually got out of bed and did some chores and saw other patients.... And I was trying to think of ways I could keep you for longer than just a consult on your injury. I was going to have you teach me darts and maybe help me sneak some good snacks from somewhere or ask to get a tour of your new ship...."

She was looking up at him with bright eyes and the thought of kissing her returned. She was definitely close enough now, and as he made eye contact, she couldn't seem to remember what she was going to say next, her voice trailing off into short little breaths.

"I really am sorry," he said, stalling for time. He wasn't sure why he kept hesitating when it was something he wanted so desperately. So much for her thinking he was confident.

"I know," she said softly. Was she leaning closer or was he?

"I... I'm leaving tomorrow," he said.

"I know." Both of their hands were clasped in each other's now, pulses beating rapidly beneath hopeful grips.

"And," he kept going, even though the space between them was continuing to grow smaller, "I've never done this before."

"I know." She grinned, and that undid him.

Whatever self-conscious walls he'd put up for whatever irrational reasons came crumbling down as he finally closed the gap and pressed his lips against hers.

#star wars #the clone wars #the bad batch #clone force 99 #crosshair #crosshair x oc #original clone characters #clone trooper 99 #commander cody #angst #sorrow #tw: death #fluff #kissy kissy

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just-someone-who-likes-to-write · 4 years

Text

Nuada x Abused!Reader

(Requested by @athywinchester :Hello! May I have a Nuada x Abused Reader. So Reader works with Reds team, and she was in a very abusive past relationship. So Prince Nuada joining the team and Reader is jumpy tense and distant from him for the reason that he always looks intimidating, so Nuada gets frustrated that she aviods him but seems fine with Abe and Red and when he demands to know why Red explains her past. Nuada becomes intranced and both fall in love! Fluff and implied smut, protective Red and Abe! Thank you! ♥️)

(A/N): This honestly took longer than I expected and its probably the longest story I have wrote so far, but I liked the challenge and i hope all of your like the result!

Warning: Angst, Talk of abuse, fluff, implied smut, Grammatical Error.

Word Count: 6,587

Nuada and his sister were walking down one of the hallways in the B.P.R.D, talking about various thinks, simply enjoying the company of one another as if it was the old days before the war with the humans and them separate.

"Brother, I assure you Abraham is treating me well." Said Nuala with a small smile.

"Just keep reminding him that he will be punished for any wrong act he commits against you." Replied Nuada sternly. Nuala just nodded.

Nuala is happy that her brother finally accepted her relationship with Abraham, but him being overprotective of her can be a bit troubling. Nevertheless, she enjoyed having her brother back. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she saw a familiar face walk opposite them, with her hand full of files and a troubled look on her face.

"(Y/n)!" She called with a smile, earning the agent's attention who smiled back at her.

"Nuala, Hey!"

(Y/n) called back moving closer to the princess but slowed down and the troubled look was back. Nuala was confused by the sudden hesitation to approach her, following her eyes she realized that she was staring at her brother who looked neutral, not showing disdain or hate towards the human agent, which Nuala couldn't helo but feel proud of that he is trying his best. However, her brother wasn't her main concern.

"(Y/n)." She called again catching the girl's attention.

"O…Oh!..hmm.." (Y/n) stammered not knowing what to say, she held tight to the files in her arms and started marching forward with her eyes averted to the side. "Sorry I have a lot of work to do, bye!"

Nuala didn't get the chance to stop the female human as she went past her. The Elven princess blinked a couple of times at what just happened, confused by (Y/n) behavior.

"What was…Strange." She said breaking the silence. Nuada sighed before he continued walking.

"It is not your fault sister, its mine." He stated. Nuala's eyes furrowed and she followed him.

"What do you mean brother?" She kept her eyes on him. His eyes seemed neutral as always but she could see that there was something else.

"That human is scared of me for some reason." He answered.

"Aren't all humans in here afraid of you?" She asked casual causing her brother to chuckle at her choice of words.

"Some are, but they don't cower away as she does." He replied. "When I was first given my freedom all the humans feard me including her, but now, they all mustered the courage to approach me, except for her."

Nuala was surprised by how bothered her brother looked at the idea of (Y/n) avoiding and fearing him.

"Maybe she is just intimidated by other creatures." Nuala said trying to assure him but he only shook his head.

"She isn't." he answered. "If she was then she would be terrified of Hellboy and Abraham but she seems very close with them."

Nuala stayed silenced for a while not sure of what else to say to assure her dear brother that he wasn’t in the wrong. She bit her lower lip and looked down at her hands with a thoughtful stare. Then an idea came to her.

"I can figure out the real reason." She said and her brother looked at her with a raised brow. She continued. "We spend a lot of time together in the library maybe I could ask her, or at least touch her skin and-"

She stopped when Nuada held up his hand stopping her. He turned fully to face her.

"I appreciate you willing to use your powers for me, sister." He started. "But I know how much you dislike using your powers on others, even if it was for me, I don't wish for you to do it."

Nuala wanted to say something but only smiled at her brother.

"Very well brother, if that is what you wish." She said with a nod.

"It is." He nodded back.

They resumed walking together for a while but Nuada broke the silence.

"Although, I wouldn't mind telling her that I am not as bad as I look."

Nuala just nodded as she smiled knowingly at him.

---

Swinging his blade swiftly Nuada was able to decapitate the last creature they were sent to kill, but he didn't care for that. The Elven prince was more concerned for the little human who joined them on this mission. He tried to keep close in order to protect her and to show her that he meant wished no harm to her. However, while he was distracted with the piled up creatures the human must have slipped away because when he turned back she wasn't there. It frustrated him. He started to make his way out of the hallway from the second floor, wondering if the little human was safe when he heard shouting from the foyer on the first floor. Nuada walked slower as he peaked down and saw that the source of the noises was Hellboy, with him were you and Abraham.

"Great work shrimp!" Exclaimed Hellboy with a laugh.

"Thanks, Red!" She shouted back with a big smile. Nuada's eyes slightly widened at the sight of your smile.

Hellboy then picked you up with his stone hand, causing you to let out a sound of surprise. Nuada was about to step forward and stop the demon but stopped when he heard you let out a series of laughter.

"Let me down, you red abe!" You shouted hitting his back playfully.

Nuada looked at the scene folding in front of him with almost a pained look when he confirmed that you feard only him and not just other mythical creatures.

When they finally got out of the ruined manor that was a nest to those creatures they just killed, Nuada stayed a safe distance and he kept watching your interaction with Hellboy and Abraham and you didn't cower at her touch, voice or even sight. Nuada wouldn't admit it out loud but his appearance almost resembled a human's, if his eyes and skin were in a different color, compared to the demon and the fish he didn't look intimidating a lot. Nuada looked up when he noticed that you had to leave the two to join the other humans, that was his chance to approach. He walked a beeline towards Hellboy catching his attention and before he could question what the Elf wanted Nuada spoke.

"Why does (Y/n) fear me?" He asked bluntly, his face and voice calm and neutral.

"Uh…what?" Asked Hellboy who seemed taken it back by the sudden question. Abraham just blinked and watched.

"The female Human named (Y/n)." He started to explain. "She has been avoiding me since the day I joined the Organization. At first, I thought because she fears mythical creatures like any other human, but I always see her acting so friendly to you both, so I am why does she fear me?... and how can I…stop it?..."

Nuada didn't want to result in asking anyone for help, not wanting to seem desperate or weak in front of anyone. But the human girl made him reach his limits and just wanting answers. Hellboy just looked at him with a raised brow confused, then his eyes narrowed dangerously at the young prince. He placed his stone hand on his shoulder and squeezed, not enough to crush the elf's shoulder but enough to make him wince in pain. Hellboy leaned forward to the prince.

"Are you planning to hurt (Y/n)?" He asked in a harsh whisper, "Cause I promise to make you regret the thought of it."

"Red stop!" Said Abraham panicking as he released Hellboy's hold on Nuada. "You are going to hurt Nuala!"

Despite knowing that Abraham can't stand a chance against the demon's strength, Hellboy let go of Nuada for his friend's sake. Nuada brought his hand up to massage his shoulder knowing full well that it will bruise. He will have to check on Nuala when her returns. Hellboy was going to say something else to the elf but Abraham came between them facing the demon.

"Why are ya stopping me blue?" Hellboy asked with furrowed brows.

"Because you misunderstood Nuada's intention, he means no harm for sister (Y/n). In fact, he wishes to befriend her." Abraham said carefully when he turned to look at the surprised prince he explained. "Nuala told me of what was happening."

"And what is happening?" Asked Hellboy confused. He looked between Abraham and Nuada.

"It appears that sister (Y/n) is… intimidated by Nuada." Abraham explained. Hellboy's glare was back to the prince but Abraham quickly continued earning the attention back to him.

"Red…I think she is ….still…hmm…" He struggled with what he wanted to say, but then found it better to just whisper what he wants to say to his friend.

Nuada observed as Hellboy's eyes widened in realization. He pulled away and looked down at his friend with a look of concern.

"But I thought she got over it." He whispered back but Nuada could hear him. Abraham shook his head.

"No one truly gets over such thing Red." He started to explain. "They either let the pain consume them forever or cope with it or learn from it. (Y/n) got better not because she was strong but also because she had us by her side at all times until she was free again... or at least that what it seems."

"What do you mean?" Asked Hellboy as calmly as he could.

"Deep down (Y/n) is still affected by what happened and I believe that prince Nuada's presence somehow triggered those feelings back."

Nuada frowned at his words. It's true that he still didn't understand what they were speaking of but he heard enough to know that (Y/n) was hurt in some way and he somehow is making her reliving it.

"What are you doing still standing here?" They all turned and saw it was a displeased Manning. "Get in that truck and return to HQ, we already have enough in our hands."

Without another word Hellboy, Abraham and Nuada aborded the vehicle and stayed silent throughout the entire way back. There were a lot of moments that Nuada wanted to say something, his mind was filled with questions that he demanded answers to, but he can sense the tension around Hellboy, for apparently whatever you have been through it angered him greatly. When they finally reached HQ Nuada was planning to talk to Abraham and get answers from him, even if the idea angered him.

"Hey…"

Nuada looked up and saw that it was Hellboy looking down at him with no previous malic.

"Come to my room tomorrow morning, but not too early."

He said simply before walking away not giving a chance to the Elvin prince to say or ask anything. Deciding that this will be better than being alone with Abraham Nuada went back to his room unable to sleep waiting for the next morning anxiously, through it his mind kept imagining the many possibilities of what he will learn tomorrow, of you, of your past.

---

Standing in front of the giant heavy Iron door or Hellboy and his spouse's room. He reached for the small keyboard on the side with the screen and camera and pushed a button to form the demon that there is someone who wishes to enter. From what Nuada learned, Hellboy used to be locked in his room until one of the agents opened the door for him but after defeating him, his army and learning of the human Liz's pregnancy the organization allowed them the freedom to roam around without a schedule. The heavy door started to unlock and Nuada took a cautious step back allowing the door to slowly swing open, but it didn't need to open all the way for Nuada to see A shirtless Hellboy standing behind it.

"Good morning." Nuada greeted first. His relationship with Hellboy might still be rocky but he never forgets his etiquettes

"….morning." Mumbles Hellboy before turning around and walked back into the room, Nuada didn't what for an invitation as he walked in after him.

Nuada was genuinely surprised when he found the room clean and organized. Sounds of purring caught his attention, he looked down to see a couple of cats rubbing on his legs when he followed the trails of other cats he saw in the corner a placed filled with cat toys, cat food, toward scratchers, and the opposite side the letterbox. Nuada furrowed his brows in disgust.

"I maybe succeeded in cleaning this room, but I can never be able to talk him into giving up those cats." A feminine voice called.

Nuada turned a saw a heavily pregnant Liz carrying a plat of food which Hellboy quickly took from, and started setting up the small table.

"The same way I can't talk you out of not moving too much." He said making Liz roll her eyes. She turned to the prince and greeted him good morning which he returned.

"I was honestly surprised when Red told me that you are joining us for breakfast." She said as she made her way to the table and sat down with a small groan. Nuada followed.

"He isn't here to just join us for breakfast." Said Hellboy almost disgruntledly, causing Liz to look at him with a confused look.

"I asked for Hellboy's help last night and he told me to come to him in the morning." Informed Nuada.

"Problem?" Questioned Liz and she looked between the two beings. "What problem?... What is going on red?"

He stayed silenced for a while thinking his words carefully, before setting down across from Nuada. He licked his lips nervously.

"(Y/n) is… terrified from Nuada." He started. When seeing the hint of flame starting to spark from her skin in anger he continued. "Because she is still hurt from what happened before?"

Her flames died down in realization and the angry look was replaced with one of sadness.

"Oh no…" Was all that she could say.

"I came to Hellboy in hopes of knowing the reason for her fear of me." Said Nuada hiding the irritation he felt for being still left in the dark.

Hellboy and Liz shared a look before he let out a sigh.

"Its something that happened to her a few years ago, Before you came along." Started Hellboy. "(Y/n) was a new agent and one of the few who didn't judge someone easily by the way they looked or what others said about them. which made her a great asset and a cool person to be around. However, Because of her kind self, it also can make her… A target to some…lowlife, manipulative bastard!.. who deserves to be-"

"Red!" Called Liz putting her hand over her lover's to calm him, Hlleboy squeezed her hand and released a sigh before looking.

"She started seeing someone." He continued. "They went out a few times and seemed like a decent guy. He made her laugh, feel appreciated and loved, gave her attention, it wasn't long until they started living together, which if I was being honesty felt jealous of… Anyway, after they started living together something…changed."

"Changed?" repeated Nuada as he unconsciously leaned forward. Hellboy nodded finding it a little difficult to continue.

"She started keeping her distance from us." Interrupted Liz giving her lover a reassuring look that she will take over.

"She stopped visiting Abe and Red or even be around them, she started ignoring me and would exit any room I enter immediately. We noticed the change but thought nothing of it for it wasn't the first time someone tries to befriend us only to fear us in the end… But then I heard from other girls how her body was… filled… with bruises. I ignored it at first thinking it was only from practice or missions, but then we find her every now and then doing paperwork because one of her legs or arms were broken."

"One of?" Nuada questions with a displeased look.

"Yes." Confirmed Liz. "It happens every few months, when one of her arms heals, then we find one of her legs is broken. After having 3 limps broken in the span on months the B.P.R.D assigned her for paperwork, pulling her completely from field missions."

Nuada listened silently with a dark look, he already knew what was happening but he still wanted to hear the end.

"Then what happened?" he asked, urging for her to continue.

"Then the disappearing started." Hellboy took over. "She wouldn't show up for days sometimes a whole week, and when she did show up she looked…deranged… If he wasn't around for her to follow she would be lost, not that he ever gave her space."

"How did you find out?" Nuada asked feeling his blood boil the more he listened, but kept a calm façade.

"I found him hit her in one of the empty hallways." Said Liz bitterly, the table under her hand started to show black spots of fire she tries to suppress. "She was pleading him to stop, she was crying but he kept going while degrading her. I was so angry that I don't remember a lot of what happened, all I know is that I marched out of there with (Y/n) while he was screaming in the background, I found out later from manning that I burned his entire right arm disfiguring it."

"That's the least of what he deserved." Muttered Hellboy angrily.

"And then?" Asked Nuada, his voice filled with malice no longer hiding his anger.

"I took her to the library knowing that the bastard won't dare come closer to anywhere near Abe or Red." She continued. "I tried to make her talk but she couldn't, she was too petrified by what he would do to her later."

"She didn't need to say anything." Said Hellboy. "Blue told us everything that she had suffered through. It started with the drunk rages, he would break things, slam his fist on the wall and slap her. Then he demanded that she breaks contact with us, but when she refused he would hit her some more but resulted in breaking her limps because he knew that she will still be around us even through missions."

"Why didn't she fight back?" Nuada almost yelled. "I saw her fight, I saw how she deals with others idiocy, she is a strong woman who fears nothing, how can she allow that!"

Liz and Hellboy were taken it back by his sudden outburst, surprised that he actually cares about a human, about you.

"… Because back then she wasn't the same strong woman today." Explained Liz. "He manipulated her made her feel as if she needed him and how she will be lost without him. There are those times when she did fight back…but… He would …"

"He would what?" Asked Nuada. "What worst can he possibly do?"

"Whenever she fought back he would lock her up in the basement, with no light, food, or water for several days."

Nuada's eyes widened at what he heard. Humans can truly be disgusting and selfish creatures, but to go as far as destroying an innocent person both mentally and physically just for the idea that they can, disgust him greatly. His vision turned red with bloodlust, he wanted more than to find that human and make him pay for everything he had done. His hand unconsciously traveled to the blade resting on his side, which Hellboy noticed.

"Calm down there, big guy." Said Hellboy putting his left hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. "I can understand your anger, but I'm both glad and sad to say that he no longer works here anymore."

"Where is he?" Asked Nuasda with narrowed eyes.

"It's kind of a long story but I will shorten it. After Lizzy burned his hand Manning came to confront her, which lead to us telling him everything that he had done, there was a lot of camera footage and clinical files to show that he was a rotten man, but the nail on the coffin was (Y/n)'s confession and the evidence in their home. The bastard made a lot of commission when they transferred him to who knows where, but they fired him completely when he tried to expose the B.P.R.D in anger of what we did to him. But they… Shut him up."

Hellboy said the last part with a dark chuckle,

"What about (Y/n)?"

The chuckle died and a sad look crossed Hellboy's eyes.

"It was a long journey for (Y/n) to reach what she is today." He began. "She kept waking up screaming at night thinking he was at the door, she cried, doubted herself and nearly quit her job. They wanted to send her away saying how she wasn't mentally stable, no longer fit to work for the organization but… My Father kept her around fighting them back every time they tried to fire (Y/n)."

"If it wasn't for him (Y/n) wouldn't have been here with us." Said Liz with a soft smile. "With people who would care and love her."

There was a long silence between them before Nuada finally spoke.

"She fears me because I remind her of that disgusting being."

The couple shared a look, silently conversing on what should they say or do next because Nuada seemed genuinely upset that you fear him so much. Then Hellboy finally said.

"Did you try talking to her?" He asked.

"I did but she always runs away before I'm even able to say "Hello" to her." Answered Nuada.

"Maybe show her that you mean no harm and wish her good?" Said Liz, Nuada shook his head at her words.

"When we go on missions I try my best to protect her but when I turn around she is already gone."

"Tell Nuala to talk to her for you, they seem pretty close." Siad Hellboy thinking he got it.

"I already told Nuala to tell her that I mean no harm but nothing came up yet."

Hellboy and Liz looked at each other again troubled by what to say next, Hellboy was mostly annoyed. They both struggled to find a solution and Nuada could read it clearly in their faces, he released a defeated sigh and stood up, surprising them both.

"Thank you for your hospitality and help, I have to excuse myself now." He bowed slightly to them before turning around to leave.

"Hey, what are you going to do with (Y/n)?" Asked Hellboy, Nuada shrugged.

"I think I will just do my best to avoid her." He said almost nonchalantly but the hurt is in his eyes. "The last thing I want is to make her relive her nightmare."

He started walking away contemplating what he had just learned of you. His mind filled with memories from he first saw you, back when he was still trying to kill humans, he was filled with so much anger and hate. Maybe that's what caused her to fear him.

"Wait!" Called Liz pulling him out of his thoughts. He turned to face her.

"Next week there will be a party everyone will be there including (Y/n), take that chance in talking to her." Nuada looked at her with a raised brow.

"But she runs away at the mere sight of me." He reminded.

"But maybe she will be more confident knowing that we are around her and stay around." From her voice alone Nuada can tell that she as well wasn't sure about that idea but it was worth a try. He released a defeated sigh.

"Very well, I will be at that party." He said with a nod and thanked them again before exiting the room.

---

When Liz told him that there will be a party he expected people in fancy attire, a dance floor with couples waltzing, And the air filled with classic music. He did not expect the disaster he saw. The room was flashing with colorful, blinding lights, the music was too loud and disturbing that he can even hear his thoughts. The humans wearing ragged clothes calling it "Fashionable", making him regret wearing his formal wear not because he stuck out but because he thought they don't deserve seeing him at his best look. And lastly, their dancing, it made Nuada's spine with how they were all rubbing at each other as if they were an animal in heat. He shook his head and cleared his thoughts ignoring everything around him. He reminded himself that him coming here and wearing his best wasn't for the humans' sake. It was for him to get a chance at impressing the human named (Y/n). He scanned the room frowning at the sight of anything that displeased him, he tried finding The demon and his spouse, he wanted to confirm that they are there for him when he did decide to talk to (Y/n).

Nuada froze and his eyes widened when his eyes fill on none other than her and he was taken it back with what he saw. He saw your smile before, a beautiful smile that warmed his heart and made him smile unconsciously. But wasn't prepared to see how radiating you were tonight. Your (H/c) hair was styled in a way that showed you face and wore a beautiful knee-length (F/c) dress, it was off-shoulder with sleeves that reached your elbows, the upper part hugged your waist and the lower part flowed making you look elegant. Seeing you made him glad that he did wear formally. He couldn't take his eyes from you, you were talking to other agents and laughing at whatever they were saying making him feel a little jealous that he wasn't the cause of that smile. He didn't know for how long he was staring at your direction but he was snapped back to reality when he saw your friends leave you to dance.

He looked around him one last time hooping to spot either Hellboy or Liz but he saw no one, with a huff he decided that he couldn't wait anymore. He marched up to you avoiding the humans that didn't notice him walk by, he followed you to the table with the beverages and when he finally was close enough he realized that he didn't know what to say. But it was too late and to make it worst the deafening music died down, playing soft music. Biting the inside of his check he mustered up the courage to walk closer and took a deep calming breath. Your back was to him so he coughed lightly to catch your attention. You jumped at that.

"Oh sorry!... I didn't mean to hog the drinks I will move right now-" Your words stopped when you turned around and saw him.

He could see how your eyes widened in horror, but he still tried to give a charming smile, and before he could say anything you spoke first.

"Sorry." You muttered before trying to move away and escape his presence.

"Please wait!" He called not liking how desperate it came out but in a way grateful because you stopped and turned to him.

"Yes?" You said still clenching your cup nervously. Nuada noticed how tense you are.

"Did you read anything interesting?" He asked and when the question left his lips he wanted to punch himself in the face from how stupid the question was. Why am I nervous?

"Excuse me?" You asked confused making your shoulder slump slightly losing previous tension.

"Hmm… My sister told me a lot about how the two of you would spend most of your time together reading." He explained. You gave him an odd look.

"You… told Nuala to spy on me?" You asked almost panicking, Nuada's eyes widened at your accusation.

"What?..No…I…" He struggled. "I .. I might have asked her to tell me about you… But not spying!"

The more Nuada tried to explain the more intimidated you looked by him.

"I should have waited for Hellboy."

"Good evening (Y/n)." A familiar voice called, and when they both turned they saw Nuala in a blue dress smiling at them both.

"Hey, Nuala." You greeted back awkwardly. She came forward standing between both of you.

"What were you talking about?" She asked innocently that Nuada didn't fall to unlike you, he knew his sister is here with a purpose.

"We were… walking about how … Nuada… asked you to.. spy?... on me?" You answered questioning her if that was true. Nuala laughed lightly.

"He never asked me to spy on you silly." She replied Nuada gave his sister an odd look.

"He didn't?"

"No, of course not." She said causing both you and Nuada to let out a sigh of relief that the misunderstanding was cleared.

"But he always asking me about you." That made Nuada tense and stare at his sister with wide eyes, and he wasn’t the only one as.

"H..He does?" You stuttered. Nuada saw how tense you were being again, and he was ready to turn around, giving up on the whole ordeal, but his sister wrapped her arm around his forbidding him from leaving.

"Yes." She answered with a smile. "My brother found you interesting and wished to know more about you, but unfortunately there never seems to be enough time or the right place, thus seeking me for answers."

"Oh… hmm…" You blushed in embarrassment because you knew you were avoiding him on purpose, but you didn't know that they already knew. "I'm… sorry, your… your highness?..."

"Please stop." He said when he saw you attempting a bow. "And call by my name Nuada, I am sorry for not introducing myself properly."

"No it's alright, I already know your name we work together after all." You quickly reassured him.

"I'm Glad." Nuada was relieved to see you attempting a smile, causing him to smile.

Although the tension between the two of you was still there, Nuala was the one to bring topics to discuss between you. She would bring something about her brother that she knew would interest (Y/n) and she would do the same thing with her brother for (Y/n). As the conversation was going smoothly Nuala started to pull herself away when seeing how engrossed the two of you become with each other without you two noticing. She had seen her how her brother was staring at you, and when she witnessed his failed attempt to talking to you she decided to come forward and save him.

Nuala glanced over her shoulder and saw how you were talking excitedly with a smile while her brother listened to you with pure interest. She could tell that something was going to blossom between the two of you and she can't wait for it to be.

---

"Sorry for forcing you to say with me (Y/n) I knew how you wanted to go on that mission." Said Liz as she was rocking the bundle in her arm.

"Don't say that Lizzy, I love spending time with you and the twins and besides…" You avoided the fire that the baby you were carrying burped making you laugh. "Helping you take care of these two is a mission itself."

Hellboy, abe, and Nuada on a mission leaving you with Liz and Nuala, you could have gone with them but when you saw how Liz and Nuala were struggling with the twins recently you decided to stay and give a helping hand. Nuala comes beside you and reached out to rub the little red plump cheek causing them to smile and for the both of you to go "Awww" over how cute they looked. You looked back at Liz.

"I'm always ready to help with them." You said with a smile.

"This one is gonna need to change soon." Said Nuala calmly. Your eyes slightly widened and your smile became weary.

"Ok, maybe not …one-hundred percent there..."

That made the two girls laugh as you handed the child to Nuala and kept your distance. Just then the heavy door of the room opened slowly signaling that they have returned. You turned and saw Hellboy, abe, and Nuada, your eyes softened at the sight of the Elven prince and when his eyes fell on you, you shared a knowing look.

"Where is my family." Called Hellboy as he rushed to his wife and children. Abraham went for Nuala, and Nuada stood between you and his sister.

Although he was keeping a calm façad you could feel his eyes staring at you, and you glanced up at him when your eyes met again he smiled at you and you smiled back trying not to blush heavily. You had to avert your eyes so no one would notice you.

"How was your mission?" Asked Liz breaking you out from whatever you were lost in.

"It was easy." Said Red not breaking his play with his kids. "I finished as fast as I can to come back here."

"Well, I think I will have to excuse myself." You said with a smile, Hellboy snapped his head up at you.

"Where are you going we just got here."

"Red leave her, she has been helping me none stop with the kids she probably wants to rest." Said Liz with a warning look. He nodded his head and looked back to you.

"Thanks (Y/n) you can go if you want." He smiled at you and you smiled back with a nod.

"It's alright Red, good night everyone." You said and they all replied.

But before you left you tucked your hair behind your ear and Hellboy's eyes widened at what he saw. There was a bruise in your neck.

"Stop." He commanded causing you to freeze. He layed his child gently down before marching up to you. He was focused on you that he didn't notice Nuada's hard stare. He stopped in front of you and pointed at your neck. "What is that?"

"What?" You instinctively reached for your neck.

"There is a bruise!" He said almost too loudly.

He could see the panic in your eyes but that was the only thing he was focused on because if he wasn't so filled with rage he would have noticed your heavy blush. His eyes narrowed at the bruise.

"Is someone hurting you again?" He asked but he didn't wait for your answer for the moment your eyes quickly glanced at Nuada then back at him he turned to the Elven prince. "You!?"

He marched to him and was about to reach for the prince's neck before you came between them protecting Nuada.

"Move aside (Y/n), so I can snap his neck." He ordered still glaring at the elf who was staring at you with awe.

"No Red, Nuada didn't do anything." You defended.

"You can't lie to me!... He caused that bruise." Exclaimed Hellboy while pointing at the "Bruise".

"He didn't!... I..I mean… H.. he did but..." You stammered.

"But what?!"

"It's not a bruise!"

"Then what is it!?

"It's Hecky!" You finally screamed out with your face beat red and eyes shut.

You can feel how the room became dead silence except for the twin's whimpering. You felt a hand on your shoulder and when you looked around you saw Nuada giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze that he was with you, which you smiled at. When you turned to look back to the rest you saw that shocked look of everyone especially Red's.

"A…Hecky?" Repeated Hellboy still not believing what he just heard. You looked away embarrassed.

"Y..Yeah.."

"…With him?" Asked Hellboy as he pointed at Nuada.

"Y..Y...Yeah." You bit your lower lip nervously. "We have been… meeting "

"I knew it!" Exclaimed Liz joyfully.

"It was about time you finally tell us." Said abe with a grin that matched Nuala's. Hellboy looked confused at everyone in the room.

"Am I the only one who didn't know!?" He questioned, His eyes widened as he watched Nuada wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck.

"It was obvious Red." Said Liz with an eye roll. "They always eat together."

"Talk every day for hours an end, only separated when they are forced too." Continued abe.

"Disappear together, and show up together." Finished Nuala with wink making you blush.

Hellboy looked at you almost hurt. You gently pushed yourself away from Nuada who let go willingly.

"Why didn't you tell me kiddo?" He asked.

"I.. was afraid you would overreact…because of… what happened last time." You answered looking down.

There was a pause before you felt his stone hand petting your head ruffling your hair in the process. When you looked up you saw a soft smile.

"Don't be afraid kiddo." He informed. "I can understand your fear of telling me, and to be honest I would have reacted the same way even if you did tell me eventually."

You giggled at that.

"…But to see you finally truly happy makes me happy, and if that happiness is from princy here then it's alright. At least he treats you like a gentleman…" Hellboy then leaned down and whispered. "He does treat you like a gentleman doesn't he?"

You laughed at his question pushing him away playfully.

"Of course he does." You said before wrapping your arms around Hellboy pulling him for a hug. "Thanks, Red, for everything."

"No problem." He returned the hug. And when you pulled away he gently pushed you aside to stand before Nuada who looked unfazed. He pointed a stone finger o his face.

"If you hurt her in any way I will break your bones." He said threateningly.

"Red!" Exclaimed Abraham panicking.

"It alright, I will allow it." Said Nuala calmly with a smile.

"Nuala!" Exclaimed Abe at her, which made everyone laugh at him.

It wasn't long before everyone departed to their rooms and instead of waiting until you were alone, you were happy to leave while holding your lover's hand. You sighed exhaustedly.

"That was scary." You said.

"It honestly went better than I expected." Replied Nuada as he let go of your hand to wrap his arm around you to bring you closer, you chuckled.

"I thought he would end up chasing you around, trying to kill you."

"I believe if you didn't intervene he would have"

Both of you shared a laugh as you continued your walk to your room. when you got closer you could feel Nuada's hands travel down your body that his hand now rested on your hip, causing a shiver to travel down your spine and your face to slightly flush. He leaned over that he was close to your ear and whispered heatedly.

"May I spend the night again with you?"

Your heart was beating fast at this part. Every night since you started being intimate he would ask for your consent first before he could go any further, it was thoughtful of him to ask first you thought but it was still very embarrassing. Nuada of course would stop if you said "No"…But you honestly never could. You looked up to him from your lashed while biting your lower lip.

"You may."

At your answer, his hand squeezed your hip gently and his eyes stared at you in a predatory way that made your body shiver with excitement.

Correction, you never Want to say "No" to him.

---

I hope you all enjoyed this story, and be excited for more in the future.

#prince nuada x reader #nuada x reader #hellboy the golden army #hellboy 2 the golden army

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be11atrixthestrange · 3 years

Text

Step 9: Making Plans

From 12 Fail-Safe Ways To Charm Hermione Granger

Making Plans

A successful relationship means aligning your future. It's important to include one another in decisions, communicate your goals clearly, and remember your choices will affect your partner. Moving the relationship forward is a joint effort, and clear communication will make clear plans, and help manage the unexpected.

*****

If Ron could pinpoint one major difference between himself and Hermione, it would be this: Hermione was a planner, and Ron was not. During their school years, Ron frequently relied on Hermione's revising schedules before exams, or at least he tried to before inevitably entering examination rooms at least somewhat unprepared. During the horcrux hunt, he figured the best way to do something was just to do it, and he felt that Hermione's strategizing slowed them down quite a bit. They ended up going into the battle of Hogwarts without a plan, and everything (for the most part) worked out just fine— nothing that planning more would have fixed.

More recently, Hermione made an itinerary for a vacation to Italy. They managed to sync time off from their busy schedules, and Ron was ecstatic about some free time in a new country that he'd never been to before. Then he saw Hermione's hour by hour schedule for the week, and suddenly, their holiday felt like another busy week at work. She had spreadsheets— some barmy muggle organizing systems— to keep track of their shared finances and bills, and she planned each purchase before she made it. She meal-prepped, and bought groceries accordingly. She even had a system for apartment chores— the kitchen was always cleaned on Sundays and laundry was done on Saturdays, and if Ron shook it up it caused a domino effect that he couldn't even begin to predict.

He loosened her up quite a bit though. After seeing their Italy itinerary, he encouraged her to cross out half of it, and just wing it. She obliged, but not without scowling, and as a result, they discovered new corners of wizarding Italy that they would never have found in guidebooks, because Ron met the right person in a bar. When she got her end of year bonus at work, he encouraged her not to save all of it, just be a little bit irresponsible for once, and he came home to find that floor to ceiling bookshelves now lined the walls of their sunroom, filled to the brim with new, crisp, untapped stories. There were those nights when Ron convinced her to dress up and dine out with him even when she'd already made a plan for dinner. She might act inconvenienced at first, but there was always a gleam in her eye when she donned that fancy dress that never got worn, and they split not one, but two bottles of wine and ordered food they couldn't even pronounce. And of course, their home was usually spotless thanks to the chore schedule she'd made for them, but Ron liked it best when the laundry piled up a little, and dishes were left in the sink, and they distracted each other enough not to care.

Hermione begrudgingly agreed that she could let go and life happen every now and then, and Ron was quite good at adding a little bit of the unexpected into their relationship. And ultimately, Ron respected her commitment to planning, and admitted more of it would serve him well. That's why the next day would test both of them.

On their date tomorrow, Ron was going to ask her to marry him. He had it all planned out, down to every detail. The entire day was scheduled for them, just how she liked it. But the best part of the plan was that she was not expecting it at all.

They'd discussed it of course— he was quite confident she'd say yes. He wouldn't dare ask her otherwise.

Their discussions of marriage had evolved over the last few years. The first time he brought it up was after one year of living together. Ron figured that was enough time together, and engagement seemed like a logical next step for them.

He didn't propose to her, he simply asked her what she'd say if he did. It took him quite a bit of courage to ask her that, and unfortunately, her answer was not one Ron wanted, nor expected. Between "it's too soon" and "not enough time together" and "way too young" he regretted asking.

Granted, he didn't bring it up in an ideal manner. It was after a Friday night at the bar with Harry, Dean, Neville, and Seamus, and Ron hadn't exactly demonstrated the most mature version of himself. They were both drunk upon their return home, so his slurred inquiry fell upon the most stubborn, uninhibited, and emotional side of Hermione. Ron, who was slightly hurt by her response, reluctantly put the subject to rest.

He brought it up two years later at her cousin's wedding. Holly— Ellie's younger sister, who bore a striking resemblance to Hermione— wore a beautiful white dress that Ron couldn't help but picture on Hermione. He danced with her all evening, similar to the way they danced at his own brother's wedding years prior.

"Holly's dress is beautiful, isn't it?" she asked him.

Ron nodded against her head as they swayed on the dance floor. "It would look better on you." He braced himself for an unfavorable response. He was afraid she'd react the way she did that first time, but she needed to know it was on his mind. "I'd love to see you in a wedding dress someday, Hermione."

His heart was pounding, and his ears grew warmer, but he relaxed a little when she settled more heavily against him. "Someday, you will."

Not even a flock of canaries could have wiped the goofy grin from his face.

A year after that, Harry proposed to Ginny. Hermione was her maid of honor, and as expected, she jumped whole-heartedly into planning. The combination of Hermione's immaculate organization skills, Ginny's creativity, and Harry's money made their wedding one of the most fun and extravagant events Ron had ever been to.

Ron remembered waking up next to her the morning after. The periwinkle bridesmaid dress Ginny had chosen for her looked even better crumpled up on the floor beside their bed, and she'd never been more gorgeous with her matted hair and smeared makeup. They felt like hell— both had taken advantage of the open bar after fulfilling their wedding party duties, and neither could remember apparating back to their bedroom, but no one was splinched, and that's what mattered.

"Well, that was something," said Ron, recalling the blurry details of the night before. The live band, the five-course meal, the chocolate fountain, and Harry and Ginny's mystery cocktails made for the most memorable night that they couldn't recall.

"Is it bad that I'm glad it's over?" Hermione asked groggily.

Ron laughed. "No. It was a lot of work."

"Tell me about it," she said turning toward him. "When we get married, let's do something simple."

Ron was quite taken aback by how casually she mentioned this future wedding he'd heard nothing about. "When, or if?"

She smiled, as if clarifying was part of her plan. "When."

Ron beamed, and pulled her closer. "In that case, I'm going to propose to you, Hermione."

She beamed back. "Are you doing that now?"

"No," he said. "It's going to be a surprise."

"I hate surprises," she said cautiously. "So just so you're prepared, I'm going to say yes."

*****

The rest of the winter holiday break passed without many hiccups. Sure, there was a bicker every now and then, but it was nothing compared to their Hogsmeade fight, and always maintained a rather playful tone. They spent the majority of their daytime with Harry and Ginny, occasionally popping by the burrow for a meal. Molly mentioned they seemed just as comfortable with each other now than they did that summer, "as if no time had passed." Harry and Ginny's eye rolls and sarcastic comments just reassured Ron that no one had noticed the rift they had recently repaired.

Hermione seemed to be making a visible effort to show affection, and Ron appreciated her for it. Upon learning that he needed just a little more reassurance, she had buried any qualms she once had about holding his hand under the table at the burrow, or chastely kissing him in the garden when they weren't alone, or even leaning up against him on the living room sofa, and gently stroking his hair while his brothers smiled knowingly. She was even less inhibited in the bedroom. They spent their evenings thoroughly exploring each other's bodies, now that a new door had been opened. Sex quickly became Ron's new favorite activity, although he felt like a walking teenage stereotype admitting it. It wasn't just the physical pleasure— something about the new level of knowledge he now possessed about Hermione solidified his status as her partner. As if a new book in a series had just been released, he suddenly felt like his favorite fantasy world had expanded. He made it a goal to absorb this new knowledge as respectfully and with as much admiration as he possibly could, taking immense pleasure in the fact that he was even allowed to be there.

Ron had dreaded the second half of the holiday, because he had to go back to training, and she was leaving for Australia to visit her parents. Knowing Pigwidgeon would never be able to make that flight— not once, not twice, not nearly as many times as Ron would actually consider enough— he mentally prepared himself to go an entire week without hearing from Hermione. He also decided to call that progress— since two weeks ago, that would have felt like nothing.

They woke up together on the morning she had to leave. When she attempted to slide out of bed, he slipped his arm around her to prevent her.

"Don't leave," he mumbled into her hair.

"I have to," she said sadly. "I wish you could come with me."

"I can't." He tightened his arm around her and pressed his lips to her neck. "I wish I could write to you."

"Oh that reminds me," she said, wrestling out of Ron's grip. "I have another present for you." She leaned over the bed and pulled something shiny out of her bag.

"What's that?"

"Here," she said, placing one small gold coin in Ron's hand, and keeping another for herself.

"A galleon?"

"A fake one."

"Hold on, is this one of our DA galleons?"

"Yes! But I enchanted it further. Watch." She pulled out her wand and tapped the tip to the center of the coin, concentrating hard. The words "Hi Ron!" appeared. She showed him her coin, and the words had appeared on both.

Ron was dumbstruck. "We can communicate without owls?"

"Yes!" said Hermione.

"How did you think of this?"

"It's based on muggle technology, actually," she said. "My parents use pagers to communicate."

"I love muggles," said Ron, pulling her in for another hug. "And you."

"Love you too," she said, before pressing her lips to his. Her hands started to wander, and Ron forgot about the DA coins for the next few moments.

The new DA coins got quite a bit of use over the next week while Hermione was in Australia, and to Ron's excitement, when she went back to Hogwarts. It suddenly Ron felt like a wall had crumbled, and he had access to her daily life and thoughts. There was nothing better than feeling the gold coin in his pocket warm up, and seeing a short but telling message scrawled across the front. The short snippets of conversation helped him stay caught up on her thoughts.

...

Hermione: I just took a shot with my dad, what is happening?

Ron: Been there! Did he at least give you his expensive gin?

...

Ron: I'm pretty sure Harry is singing to himself in the shower. He's not bad, actually.

Hermione: You should join him!

Ron: …

...

Hermione: What are you up to?

Ron: Eating.

Hermione: Go figure

...

Ron lived for these kinds of conversations. "Don't accidentally spend it!" was what she had told him, as if anything would be remotely worth it.

Although the coins were great for constant access to communication, they were not ideal for detail. When Hermione went back to school, he continued his weekly letters, and was pleasantly surprised that she did too.

The letters picked up where the coins left off, and rather than catching each other up on their daily lives, they used them to make plans. With the letters, they could fully detail their Hogsmeade plans, provide more context for their texts, and even begin discussing their ideas for term-end. Ron used a letter to suggest that Hermione move into Grimmauld Place with him and Harry after graduation, and he was thrilled that he didn't have to wait anxiously for pig to bring back her response, which was a resounding yes.

They didn't include all plans in their letters, because Hermione still managed to surprise him for his birthday. He came home from work on March 1st to find her sitting at their kitchen table with a big smile on her face.

"How did you get here?"

"Floo!" she said as she launched into his arms. "I told McGonagall it was an emergency."

"And what was the emergency," Ron said, hugging her so tightly that he lifted her off his feet.

"Your birthday!"

"And she let you leave?" he asked incredulously. She nodded. "I thought you hated surprises," he continued.

"I do, but I know you like them."

"I love them," he told her. "But I have to work this weekend —"

"No, you don't!" she said. "Harry's covering for you."

Ron beamed. "Really? He's in on this?"

She nodded. "Least he can do, for all the years he spent, you know, getting in our way."

Harry was not there to interfere that night, and thankfully, she had even more surprises planned for him. Ron didn't wake up predicting sex that day, and he definitely hadn't expected her to be wearing lacy lingerie under her school robes. One of the best surprises was how confidently she led him to his room, and pushed him onto the bed, expertly undoing the buttons of his jeans while her mouth never left his. His attraction to her was only multiplied by how unafraid she was to tell him what she wanted, and less surprising, but still unexpected, was his discovery of how much he liked being told what to do. Auror training had given him plenty of practice in taking orders, but until that night, he'd never enjoyed being so obedient.

It was the best birthday that Ron could remember. They spent the entire weekend in bed, either making love, or not making love, and he was grateful for all of it. Only three more months until they could do this every night, which reminded Ron to continue the disjointed conversation they'd been having over enchanted galleons.

"So I know you were planning on moving in here," he started. "What if we got our own place?"

"What about Harry?"

"What about him?" asked Ron.

"Won't he be lonely without you?"

Ron snorted. "He'll have Ginny."

Hermione looked at him through narrowed eyes. "So he told you she's moving in?"

"I knew you knew!" he said playfully.

"You're ok with it?"

"No, but I don't want to live with it, I would feel better if we got our own place."

They agreed to wait until term ended to officially start apartment hunting, so that Hermione could fully focus on completing her NEWTS and job applications. When she went back to school, their communication faltered a little bit, but it didn't bother Ron as much as it did their first term, because he knew exactly why her letters were shorter, and he was thrilled she was making the effort.

Her letters were still detailed enough that he knew of each job application she submitted, and he could feel her excitement about one particular one— an entry-level position in the office of magical law. The open position specifically dealt with updating and passing laws regarding the rights of magical creatures and Ron felt that Hermione was completely mental to think she was anything but a shoe-in.

They planned to meet at the ministry for lunch before her interview, and Ron showed up expecting nothing short of panic from Hermione. He sat through lunch acting as an interviewer, and let her rehearse her answers and talking points for her entire meal. He probably asked her more questions about S.P.E.W that day than he ever did during their school years, and he was quite impressed to learn how much she knew about magical law, even though it was never a subject at Hogwarts. He might be biased, but if he were really interviewing her, he'd hire her on the spot.

"You're going to be amazing, you know that?"

"I'm going to fail."

"They'd be lucky to have you," he told her, leaning in for a kiss across the table. He truly felt that way, they'd have to be idiots not to hire her, but again, he might be biased.

She trembled the whole way into her interview. Before she entered the interview room, he stopped her, and pulled her into his arms. "Just take five deep breaths, Hermione." He held her there, syncing his breathing up with hers, just like he did when she had a nightmare. Eventually, he felt her shoulders relax, and her spine straighten. "You can do this. You're brilliant."

"Thank you." She smiled gratefully and kissed him goodbye, or at least what she thought was goodbye. What she didn't know was that Ron had taken the afternoon off, and would be taking her out for a— likely celebratory— drink when the interview was over.

He sat down on a hallway bench and waited.

Hermione was beaming when she left the room an hour later, followed by two older, official-looking ministry employees. Ron stood as they each shook Hermione's hand. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but they appeared to be making plans.

She bid them goodbye and turned to see Ron standing there. Ron smiled nervously— he knew she hated surprises. "You're still here?"

Ron nodded. "I figured you'd need a drink—"

He was interrupted by her flinging herself into his arms. "They hired me!"

Ron lifted her off her feet and kissed her, and in a way, it felt like their first kiss in the Room of Requirement. He didn't care that people he knew were passing them in the hallways, and some of them might be Hermione's future coworkers. He didn't care that snogging his girlfriend in a crowded ministry hallway contradicted the excuse he used to get out of work early— he wasn't coming down with anything contagious other than genuine elation.

They apparated back to Hogsmeade, and he took her out for a celebratory butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. It wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend, so the bar was relatively empty, save for a few professors, but Ron and Hermione didn't care. They made their way to their favorite booth in the back of the bar, and toasted to Hermione's new job, because their plans were falling into place beautifully, like dominoes that had been so precariously set over the past eight years they'd known each other.

They spent that evening making plans, and all of their plans came true. Hermione aced her N.E.W.T.S. She graduated with top marks, and celebrated at the burrow with his family. She moved into Grimmauld Place temporarily, and after just two short weeks of researching and touring apartments, they moved into their very own flat. It was in a muggle neighborhood, but had a second guest room and was right on a train line so her parents could visit, but the thing that made it perfect was that she lived there. In a way, that evening at the Three Broomsticks felt like the first day of the rest of their lives— their future finally felt clear, and they could plan for it. But when she unexpectedly ordered another round, not of butterbeer— of firewhiskey, and suggested they rent a room at the Hog's head to keep celebrating, he realized some of the best parts of his future with her would be entirely unplanned.

#ROMIONE #hpromione #ronweasley #Hermione Granger #ron x hermione #ron and hermione #hp fanfic #hp ficlet #romione fanfic

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regrettablewritings · 4 years

Note

If youre still doing the fluff meme, can I please request C, g , J, and X for Cassian andor?

Sure, you’re not too late! Stuff’s below the cut!

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?):

In a word, terribly. It’s not as though the man has had plenty of opportunities to perfect the art (“There’s no room for cuddling in a war!” you could imagine him saying). You beat him to the punch, though, and insisted you try to squeeze in some cuddling time during the rare moments he was not on a mission, training, attending meetings, or whatever else his “captainly duties” requires of him. Unfortunately, Cassian wasrather avoidant of it; you dared to even accuse him of purposefully looking for ways to stay busy.

And then the Scarif mission happened.

After the injuries acquired, the remaining members of the “Rogue One” squadron were required to take time off to heal, regain their strength, and acquire more proper training. Cassian, to his dismay, was enforced by Mothma to do the former two. Even once he’d left the infirmary to continue resting in his own quarters, the scowl stuck; a stark contrast to the smugness you tried (and failed) to hide. Now he had no choice but to let you cuddle him.

“Hugs can release oxytocin; it’s good for healing!” you insisted to your mean-mugging boyfriend. The most you got was a bemused raise of a brow. “. . . I promise to be careful.”

“. . . You’re going to keep bringing this up, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

At the sound of his exasperated growl, you knew you had won. The careful positioning of your body against his made for an awkward experience, silently but knowingly worsened by the fact that you had to guide him on where to put his hands or what to do if he felt his arm beginning to fall asleep. It certainly wasn’t ideal, but the man was recovering from a wound; you both were on edge. Once he was further along in the healing process, you could count on the awkwardness decreasing as the two of you became more accustomed to one anothers bodies . . .

You counted wrong: He really is just not very good at it. He always felt tense, like he was trying to control everything down to his breathing, yet wasn’t able to control whatever it was necessary for him to loosen up. You made the occasional poke at this (“For a captain, you sure are more of a cadet at this.” “Shut up.”), but ultimately you knew not to give him such a hard time. Like you considered earlier: Cassian grew up in a war all his life; it wasn’t unsurprising for him to be uncertain -- even possibly uncomfortable with cuddling.

Except he’s not, actually: For as rigid as he can be, Cassian actually loves cuddles. He’s a touch-starved bastard, after all. But given how terrible he is at communicating -- especially communicating what he personally wants -- it’s no surprise he doesn’t outright admit to it. He pretends to go along with what you want, but closer to the surface than he would like to admit is the constant desire for your touch. Specifically, from the position of the little spoon. Sure, for the most part, he’ll be the big spoon; it brings about the least mount of suspicion, after all. But every so often, you’ll make a joke about how he needs to ease up on his arm tensing, or else he’ll cramp up. And that’s his golden opportunity.

“Then why don’t you show me how it’s done, Oh Almighty Cuddle Rat,” he scoffs, eyes rolling. He has to fight the urge to come off too eager when the two of you switch positions, with your chest against his back and your arms about his chest or waist. He’s glad you can’t easily see his face from this position, otherwise you’d be able to tell what sort of bliss he’s in. As the little spoon, he feels warm and safe: Two things he hasn’t felt much of in his life. But for as brilliant as it all feels to him, he’s actually not quite brave enough to admit to it.

But that’s fine: You already figured as much.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?):

Not especially. Cassian is trained more for fighting when not sniping: ginger fingers in the Rebellion more more reserved for mechanics or medics or people who specialized in acquiring fragile materials for varying purposes. As far as Cassian was concerned, the most careful he really needed to be with his hands was to make sure whatever punches he threw would break only his opponent’s nose and not his own fingers. But one could argue that technically, he was capable of gentleness.

Suffice to say, however, you weren’t entirely convinced: Watching the man you had unfortunately fallen in love with flip his sparring partner onto their back into the dirt with relative ease surprisingly doesn’t scream “thoughtful, careful lover with hands that can sew clouds together” to you. Regardless, you continued to love him, even eventually getting together with him romantically. But for as many things as you entered the relationship confident you could have an effect on, you simply left the expectation of gentleness at the door. Certainly, you didn’t expect outright roughness, but you weren’t exactly going to get your hopes up for him to suddenly have the fingers of an angel.

And for the first bit of a while, your expectations (or lack thereof) on that front were met. It wasn’t until you returned from a mission, however, that you found yourself questioning your ability to make assumptions. You had had a run-in with some Stormtroopers but thankfully managed to escape, albeit at the cost of receiving a cut on your forehead. But considering the alternative, you were grateful. Cassian, however, was less optimistic. His brow furrowed at the bleeding line streaking across the upper right bit of your face.

“C’mon, Cassian, it’s not that bad,” you insisted, trying to walk around him and to the infirmary. He didn’t seem convinced, judging by how he reflected your every side step. Eventually you grew tired of it.

“Seriously, I need to get to the infirmary, I just need stitches, that’s all --”

Calloused. His fingers were calloused. You already knew this, actually, given the few times you had held his hands in private, but feeling them on your face somehow seemed to really get that across to your brain. But in spite of their roughness in texture, the strength with which they held your face in place actually wasn’t especially firm at all. If anything, it was Cassian’s stare that was firm. It studied your every feature intently, their dark color managing to tell you one message from their murky depths: “Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Every few seconds, they applied only the slightest bit more pressure to turn your head to a new angle. The inspection only stopped when you felt a new pearl of blood oozing down the side of your face, forcing you to bring about the end with a small cough. To his credit, Cassian did finally listen to you and let you go. You found yourself following the departure of his rough, careful fingers.

He exhaled with acceptance: “Go to the infirmary then; it’s not as bad as it could be.”

You blinked. That was all he had to say?! After all that?!

“Uh . . . But what --”

“I’ll check up on you this evening; I have a council to attend.” He gave you a nod and took his leave before you could even carry on, leaving you to your orders. The entire while the gentle and caring fingers of the medics touched your face, all you were craving were Cassian’s.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?):

Most wouldn’t consider Cassian a catch to your absolute surprise. That still doesn’t mean you don’t get a little nervous now and then.You know how sophomoric and primeval it is, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes whenever you feel Jyn gets a little too close and personal with your boyfriend. You want to boot yourself up the ass whenever you witness Cassian attempt (and shockingly succeed) at seducing somebody to help him while on an assignment. There’s just no reason for you to distrust Cassian’s loyalty to you. Once he’s committed himself to something or someone, there simply is no other for him!

As for Cassian . . .

No, according to him. It’s so frivolous to worry over things like that; there’s a war going on, he has far better things to do than worry if somebody’s eyeballing you!

. . . Is what he would say if one were to ask him. But if one were to ask K2? It becomes a totally different story.

“Cassian has assigned Corporal Gregginor to lavatory cleanup duty 30% more often than previous chore rotations, ever since he saw him trying to teach you how to improve your aim,” the towering droid reveals to you one day.

You blink before raising a brow. “But . . . He was trying to teach me how to better aim my blaster.” Even without facial expression, you could tell K2 was emoting mischievous intent.

“That’s not what Cassian saw; he saw Gregginor putting his hands on your waist and making you bend over ever so slightly --”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Your face burned (at the droid’s words, at what you realized in hindsight, at the fact Cassian saw), but decided to think nothing of it. Bathroom cleanup duty was a pain in the ass, certainly, but usually the task was reserved for those who had earned a higher ranking officer’s ire through use of inappropriate behavior or disobedience on a mission. There was just no way a captain like Cassian would use it as punishment for touching all over his woman . . . right?

Maybe not. But as the week wore on, you became less and less certain. For one, you barely saw Gregginor due to Cassian sending him all around base to deliver messages that arguably could’ve waited or been passed on to an even lower-ranking officer -- things like lunch orders or minute responses to words exchanged in earlier counsels. For another, when you did see Gregginor, it was usually at training -- and if he didn’t already look worse for wear, he would most definitely look that way by the end of it.

While it wasn’t unusual for a drill sergeant to call everyone to gather and watch him exhibit a move or attack with a sparring partner, Cassian deciding to fill in nearly every day was quite unusual. He insisted he had new tactics to show when questioned about his sudden decision to grace the group every day. And when questioned as to why he kept picking Gregginor as his sparring partner, he simply answered that he knew Gregginor could take whatever he threw at him.

“Besides,” Cassian would say just before wiping the ground with his opponent, “I’m going easy on him.” For the rest of every session, if your boyfriend wasn’t busy absolutely wasting Corporal Gregginor on the field, he was having him run laps or do an absurd amount of pushups. Finally, you had had enough.

“Okay, Cass,” you lightly glared following a particularly grueling session. “Is there any particular reason that you’ve been trying to make Greggi’s week an entire life’s worth of living Hell?”

Cassian, ever bemused by both unpleasant nicknames provided, responded with equal neutrality: “It builds character. He’s been slacking off, this is to make sure he stays on his toes.” You hummed a note that lacked conviction.

“Oh, really? You sure it has nothing to do with the fact that, in the process of helping me learn to better aim my blaster, he happened to place his hands on me hips to reposition my weight? Nothing at all?”

At the mentioning of the suggestive positioning that supposedly hadn’t gotten Gregginor into Cassian’s shit list, the latter’s eye dared to twitch. You caught it just enough and it gave you enough confidence to believe that maybe you had caught him as well. But, to your dismay, the captain didn’t come pouring out his confessions and regrets and apologies.

“Your aim needed work; who am I to get in the way of that?” he confirmed instead. Your mouth dropped in disbelief; was he really going to play like this?!

“And anyway,” Cassian continued, “stop being so ridiculous. Do you recognize how absolutely juvenile it would be to use my position for something so petty?” As much as you wanted to respond, you honestly weren’t sure how to. If you kept insisting, he’d probably just keep dodging. But if you left it alone, who knows how long he’d keep pulling this shit?

In the middle of your inner debate, Cassian flung his sweat-drenched towel over his shoulder. “Hit the showers,” he demanded. “Clearly, training’s done a number on you.” And with that, he turned to clean himself, leaving you to glare at his retreating figure. You swore you could sense him smirking the entire while.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?):

Two come to mind:

First and foremost is “See the World” by Gomez, though it’s mainly directed at Cassian. It’s soft and simple, just as Cassian can be unassuming in his desire to not be showy or processed. Plus, the lyrics simply fit:

Day to day, Where do you want to be? ‘Cause now you’re trying to pick a fight With everyone you need

You seem like a soldier Who’s lost his composure You’re wounded and playing a waiting game In no man’s land, no one’s to blame

See the world: Find an old-fashioned girl And when all’s been said and done, It’s the things that are given, not won Are the things that you’ve earned

Cassian has dedicated so much of his life wrapping it around the Rebellion: It’s practically a part of him at this point. The problem is, he doesn’t seem to recognize what a problem this can actually be. He doesn’t think about what this means when the war is over, who he’ll be, who he wants to be. He’s just spent so much of his time composing himself in a specific manner, even at the cost of having very few close relationships or making the ones he does get a bit difficult to navigate. With a song like this, he’s being reminded to reevaluate his stances, to remember that Rebellions aren’t just about fighting: It’s also about fighting for what you want in the future.

He needs to see the world, not just what he’s been assigned to see for recon. He needs to explore who he is or who he may want to be without the Rebellion. He needs to find a non-K2 companion to love and go off exploring with -- Actually . . .

He snaps out of his reverie and glances at you, huddled up beside him. The cot is far from roomy or comfortable, yet you don’t seem to mind it. And, when he thinks about it, neither does he . . .

The runner up: “Cold Cold Man” by Saint Motel. This song doesn’t exactly scream Cassian at first because what you initially hear being screamed is overly bouncy music you can easily dance to. Picture you flailing and jumping and twirling around with a stone-cold Cassian standing in the middle of it all. That’s this song in a nutshell. No, really:

Oh, my love I know I am a cold, cold man Quite slow to pay you compliments Or public displayed affections

But baby, don’t you go over analyze No need to theorize, I can put your doubts to rest:

You’re the only one worth seeing, The only place worth being, The only bed worth sleeping is the one right next to you

Cassian isn’t exactly the most openly affectionate person. He knows it, K2 knows it, everyone knows it. Even his friends poke fun at him about it. And even though you know it yourself, you can’t help but sometimes lapse into moments of doubt: Is he happy with you? Does he intend on actually being with you for as long as possible, or is it more like any port in the storm with you?

Of course, you feel awful for thinking these things: It’s not as though Cassian is purposefully withholding certain affections from you; it just isn’t really a part of who he is as a person to be as forward as the average lover. Repetitive as it might seem, growing up the way he did just doesn’t tend to fair well for one’s ability to properly emote. But he knows this isn’t fair to you. He can’t keep using his past as a crutch.

Hence why once, every bluest of blue moons, you’ll receive a reminder. He’ll awkwardly sway with you, even dare to smile as you dance goofily in your quarters. He’ll initiate the hand holding in a corridor, even if he knows there’s definitely other personnel around. He’ll join you at night to just watch the stars, even if they don’t especially astound him (why would they? You can usually see them on any given planet, especially if you’ve traveled as often he has). He doesn’t make any suggestion that he’s uncomfortable with you shitting between his legs, or that he has an issue with you playing with his fingers. You could’ve honestly called it a great night if it had ended there, with you leaning back against his chest, letting the nice, balmy night air soothe you to sleep.

But it’s the unexpected kiss you feel on your temple that yanks you back. You’re afraid to move, certain that if you do, the mood will be lost and your normally gruff boyfriend will no longer want to keep letting you sit there. It’s only when you feel his arms wrap around you with more certainty that you know there’s nothing to can do in this moment that will make him want to let go. There’s nothing in this galaxy that would make him want another.

You’re the only one worth it all to him.

Thank you very much for asking and for being patient!

#cassian andor #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor imagine #rogue one imagines #rogue one x reader #cassian andor imagines #fluff alphabet #fluff headcanons #regrettablewritings #lemme see if I can post this first and add the song link after so it still shows up...#fingers crossed y'all

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baldwin-montclair · 4 years

Text

The Unlikely Advocate - Part 4

Just a little backstory to how this little family of a vampire and two witches formed.

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

Tagged: @sylverdeclermont @christi14 @fanficqueen306 @holamor

———

“You fucking asshole!” Eileen hissed viciously at Baldwin, standing by the projection board and over the heads of his underlings at their desks as time and space seemed to evaporate, judging by the frozen nature of their stares.

The silence was broken when four security personnel caught up with her. Two grabbed her roughly by each arm to escort her from the building.

“Do not fucking touch her!” Baldwin roared at them and without a beat, they dropped their hold.

Despite her own anger and feeling of betrayal, Eileen suddenly realised that her actions were indistinguishable from someone knowingly entering a bull-fighting arena whilst wearing top to toe in red.

“In here!” He called back as he retreated to his office.

Everyone stayed frozen, not entirely sure who he’d been speaking to and much too afraid to be mistaken.

A moment later he reappeared at the office door, his gaze focused on Eileen.

“Miss Percy,” he clarified and regarded his still slightly traumatised team, “everyone else back to work.”

Eileen was more than a little aware of the stares she had prompted from the workers, some fascinated by the person who’d given voice to a sentiment they were too afraid to even think, others like she was walking the last few yards to her place of execution. In reality, if they had any notion of how actually dangerous their ball-buster boss really was they would have run a long time ago.

As soon as she’d crossed the threshold, the door closed behind her and Baldwin retreated to lean against his large mahogany desk, folding his arms and watching her intently.

“You lied to me-“ she started.

“I haven’t Miss Percy, which is why this intrusion is unacceptable-“

“How dare you,” she interrupted again, “come over all high and mighty after what you did.”

“What manner of offence do you imagine I committed ?” He asked with a sigh, his patience visibly dissipating.

“Izzy, you told me everything was fine, that the Congregation had ruled to let me keep custody.”

He stood straighter, his fixed gaze more intense.

“Your mother disputed our ruling, if there is a problem you should take it up with her.”

“My mother allied herself with her precious big brother, leader of the witches in Congregation, she still thinks he was used as a scapegoat for your family to grab more power. I haven’t spoken to her since she disowned my sister for accusing him. Why is she even being taken seriously?”

“I promise that she isn’t,” he stepped forward, “she’s not getting near your niece. The way to ensure that is to conduct a proper hearing.”

“You’re choosing an arbiter, some stranger is taking my niece away from me until that’s done!”

“Standard procedure,” he assured, “I have chosen Diana as her guardian during the proceedings, the Congregation have agreed, I simply have not yet been able to reach her today. Once the arrangements were made I was going to inform you.”

“Can...” she stopped, feeling the righteous fury fade to embarrassment at her failure to imagine this option, “can you do that, make Diana her temporary guardian?”

“I assume she is an acceptable choice given your close friendship?”

Eileen nodded mutely, there was no-one in the world she trusted with Izzy more than Diana and Matthew.

“Then if we are done?” His sniping tone had softened slightly. The regard in his expression belied curiosity rather than anger.

“Yes...of course,” she stammered as he stepped close, leaning past her to open the door, “I’m s-“

“We’ll discuss this another time,” he cut off her apology as he stood over her, his frame intimidating as his dark amber eyes fixed her in place.

The encounter stayed with her long after she’d left his offices. Despite her embarrassment at her rash behaviour, she couldn’t help but feel comforted by his easy authority over the situation. Every decision she’d made of late, with regards to taking over the coven, becoming a mother to her fourteen month old niece, she’d second guessed and panicked over, dealing with her mother had been a source of anxiety but the vampire her family had been so wary of was the one fighting them with her.

Also, she knew she’d be lying if she argued she didn’t find him attractive. Objectively, her friend’s husband, Matthew, was a very attractive man but definitely too much of a friend to really lend him the mysterious gravitas as his step-brother.

Also, in such close proximity, Baldwin did smell incredible, leather and firewood, very masculine aromas and despite herself, she felt drawn to his authoritative energy.

Eileen was not looking forward to the journey to France, not nearly as much as all previous social visits. It was not just because she was going to be without her niece for some time but because she would be met there by the vampire whose office she’d stormed just one week prior.

She loaded the gurgling baby into her chair as the doorbell rang. Hoping it was not a neighbour - as she was already behind in regards to time - she opened the door a crack.

That was all her brother’s needed to push the door open harder, knocking her backwards to the ground, splitting her lip.

Isobel started crying in her car seat, loudly.

“You’re weak, just like that Bishop bitch, if you both had your way, we’d all be under the thumb of the vampires.”

“Joshua, not you too-“ Eileen winced as she stood, looking into the eyes of her younger brother, the baby of the family was now angry and hateful, just like her elder sibling Mark.

“Don’t talk to him,” Mark sneered, “you only talk lies, we won’t let you take another family member away.”

He made to move towards Isobel but Eileen rushed to stand in his way.

“Lies? Like how our uncle, capturing witches and supplying them to a sadistic madman for rape and torture?” She yelled and felt the strike of a hand on her cheek.

“Yes, lies, you misled our dear departed sister with your false accusations, her blood is on your hands.”

“He killed our sister, Knox did, she was the one who figured out he was behind the disappearances. The de Clermont’s suffered just as much at Fuch’s hands, they were not in league with him.”

“You whore,” he grabbed her hair, “has he had you, is that why he’s taken such an interest?”

“Who?”

“Who do you fucking think? Montclair!”

“No.”

“We’ll see,” Mark nodded at Joshua, “she always sucked at keeping her mind protected, hold her.”

Joshua hesitated.

“We were meant to just take the baby, not hurt her.”

“It only hurts if you fight it, you should know that, little brother.”

“Don’t listen to him Josh.”

“Shut up!” Mark shoved her against the wall.

She waited for the sickening thud of her skull striking the hard surface but it didn’t.

Opening her eyes, she realised she was no longer looking into her malice driven brother’s gaze but a concerned Baldwin who had shielded her head with his hand, preventing the injury.

The same could not be said for Mark, lying and groaning amidst a mess of splintered bookcase and it’s contents.

Joshua, frozen in fear up until now moved to go towards him but was stopped by a growl from her saviour before he turned his attention to her.

“I’m going to attend to your sister now,” he spoke to her attackers as he looked her over, “I suggest you not be here when I turn.”

Mark made to rush Baldwin but he was suddenly frozen in place before being threw out the door, Joshua running after him as the door slammed and locked behind them.

Baldwin turned back to Eileen stunned, he had no idea she possessed such power.

He was unable to query it as he found her unconscious but with her breathing steady and her heart rate at the pace it usually was, higher than most but normal for her, he decided it best to just let her rest.

Isobel had quietened down since the commotion and was now staring at Baldwin as he gently placed Eileen on the sofa, her gaze held a silent calculation. Then, her arms outstretched, demanding to be picked up.

“You don’t have the genetic markers for Witch Wind Eileen,” Matthew looked over the blood work he’d conducted shortly after she joined their conventicle, “fire and earth yes but not witch wind.”

“So what does that mean?” She asked.

“We think you leant your power to Isobel, she has the markers and you have a genetic connection through your sister, the earth marker.” Diana explained.

“Not intentionally, I’d never just put it all on her so I can peace out and nap while she’s alone and scared.”

Diana smiled a little and nodded to Rebecca ‘serving’ empty plastic cups of tea to Isobel and Baldwin, the latter with Isobel still at ease on his arm.

“She wasn’t alone, she knew she was safe, as were you.”

“He’s so much better with kids than adults,” Matthew shook his head in bewilderment at the family head, “it’s very strange.”

“She’s very taken with him,” Eileen agreed.

“Obviously runs in the family.” Diana commented to an exasperated eye-roll from her friend.

Eileen flicked through the photo’s on the iPad, those and her daily FaceTime ‘chats’ with her niece being the only thing to keep her sane after a week without her.

She didn’t even have the comfort of familiar surroundings as Baldwin insisted she stay in one of his guest bedrooms, given the hostility of her family.

As grateful as she was for his help, she found the situation increasingly difficult in some ways.

For over a year, her sole focus had been her niece, protecting and taking care of her, her own needs secondary. She didn’t begrudge this, she didn’t even think about it. Now, with nothing to do or focus on, Eileen found herself at a loose end and attracted to her friend’s brother.

That has to be breaking some code.

Still, the memory of Baldwin’s cold and firm touch cradling her head from impacting the wall stayed with her, making her consider just how that same strong hand would feel around her throat as he took her on the long table of the dining room.

A guilty flush made her shake her head involuntarily. Sex was not something she’d been shy about agreeing to in the past but she was out of practice, now she might as well be a nun staring at a well-endowed statue a bit too long.

A shower, she needed a shower.

The hot water helped give some semblance of peace to her mind but did not assuage her desire and she dipped her hand down between her thighs to aid in easing her frustration.

She was close, in a very short span of time, making up for months of neglecting that aspect of herself when the tell-tale sound of her phone sounded in the bedroom.

She hastily ended the shower, dried off and rough towelled her hair before throwing on a silk dressing gown.

The phone had stopped before she reached it.

“Dammit!” She swore.

It came alive again in her hand.

Mother.

She couldn’t tamp down the boiling anger, not enough to stop herself doing the one thing Baldwin ordered her not to do.

Answer the call.

By the time she’d taken the breath needed to cuss the woman out, the phone was in Baldwin’s hand at the far side of the room.

He emphatically hit the hang up button and placed the device on the table.

“So that lock really is just for show,” she accused, gesturing to the door of Baldwin’s guest room.

“Every call from your mother is monitored, you know that, and I did tell you to not to speak to her.”

He was focused on her face, not the sheer dressing gown stuck against her still slightly damp skin. His gaze was deliberate, as though his will was employed in avoiding so much as a glance at her body.

“I did not give you permission to enter.” She went to the door and opened it, “please leave.”

“As you wish,” he shrugged, picking up the phone, “but this comes with me.”

“You can’t,” she stood in front of the door, blocking his exit, “I need that”.

Eileen made a grab for the phone but he managed to hold it just out of reach.

“You cannot be trusted.” He explained.

“I can-“

“Whatever you say to your mother could be used as an argument to give her custody, I’m trying to protect you, and the child.”

“I don’t need your protection!”

“And I really don’t care what you think you need, in this situation I know better.”

“You are an arrogant prick!”

“Indeed I am, and will continue to be so until you accept my guidance in this matter.”

“You’re asking me to trust you?”

“Not at all,” he stepped closer to her, “I’m telling you to do as I say.” His gaze was now fixated on her throbbing jugular vein.

“And if I want your help with my family I have to obey, right?”

“Yes, but more important than that,” he reached up and gently moved a lock of hair obstructing his view of her neck, “you want to.”

“You have no idea what I want.”

“I do, only you’re afraid to ask for it,” he grasped her throat, firmly but not tight enough to hurt, “tell me to stop.”

Her hands clasped his wrist and forearm through instinct but still well aware this would do nothing to save her if his goal was to harm her.

“I’m not afraid of you.” She hissed in defiance.

“That much is clear,” he taunted, lips centimetres from her own, “tell me to stop.”

“No.”

“Then tell me what you need?”

Her gaze flickered from his eyes to his mouth, willing him to close the distance, kiss her, fuck her, bite her even, she wasn’t certain.

“I-“ she hesitated.

Baldwin pressed his lips gently onto hers, not allowing her to pull him in for more as he set the pace, maddeningly slow, before pulling away, causing her to release a whine of frustration.

“I can leave if you want me to, you need only stay silent.”

”No.”

“No what?”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“Then you’ll trust me, put yourself in my hands from now until sunrise?”

“S-sunrise?”

It was only six-thirty, sunrise was in at least twelve hours, she had to wonder what he had in mind.

“Can you do that? Relinquish all responsibility and concern and simply obey?”

The seductive abilities of vampires were well known to witches, humans mistakenly attributed hypnotic properties to what they deemed the fictional creatures.

“Yes.”

“Excellent,” he leant forward and placed a kiss on her forehead, “get ready, we have a table booked for dinner in an hour.”

#adow #a discovery of witches #adow baldwin fic #baldwin montclair #adow baldwin #stern dom baldwin

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victorluvsalice · 3 years

Text

AU Thursday: Fallout of Darkness -- Another Meme

I unfortunately don’t recall where I got this one, though I do remember picking it up in the #fallout 4 tag -- I think a number of people were using it for their Sole Survivors. Which is what I did! With the added twist of “let me do this universe’s Alice as well!” So you get double the information for the same price! :P

Note: This is vaguely set I’d say about halfway through the plot of Fallout 4 -- Victor and Alice have had the run-in with Ug-Qualtoth and gotten Alice sunlight immunity (see this post for more details), and they’ve met at least most of the other companions. Also yes, pets -- Victor does indeed adopt the “wounded dog” encounter in my verse! (And if anyone knows of a mod that lets you send her to a settlement for real. . .) Please remember I haven’t actually played much of the main plot myself, so things may be a little vague/prone to changing once I get further in!

name ➔

V: Victor Fitzwilliam Van Dort – my mother wanted me to have an "aristocratic" middle name, for some reason.

A: Alice Pleasance Liddell – yes, just like the historical Alice. I guess after Lizzie decided I should be "Alice," my parents decided to go whole hog with the reference.

are you single ➔

V: [with a warm look at Alice] No, I'm not.

A: [with a warm look back] Not anymore.

are you happy ➔

V: [still with that warm look at Alice] Very much so.

A: [smiling] A lot happier than I was in the past, that's for sure. Which is kind of sad, given it's post the nuclear apocalypse now. . .

are you angry ➔

V: [thoughtful] I – I was for a while. Not so much anymore – the worst of it has cooled. But – there's some things I think I'll always be angry about.

A: I think my answer's about the same. Given some of the nonsense we've been through, some low-level anger is just to be expected, honestly.

are your parents still married ➔

V: . . .they were when the bombs dropped.

A: Mine were when that bastard Bumby set our house on fire to cover up what he'd done to my sister.

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔

V: Burtonsville – it's a tiny village in England. I don't actually remember it, though – my parents moved to Boston when I was only about a year and a half old. I grew up here in Boston and the surrounding area.

A: Oxford, England – my father was the Dean of Christ Church at the college when he was alive. I have fond memories, but I haven't been back since the fire.

hair color ➔

V: Black. Mother occasionally insisted it was dark brown, but – black.

A: Black, though weirdly I actually was almost a redhead as a child. It darkened straight through brown to this as I grew up. I've never been sure why it got so dark, though I suspect all that time lying in Rutledge, getting probably-inadequate nutrition and light for a growing girl, didn't help matters.

eye color ➔

V: Dark brown.

A: Green, though Victor likes being poetic with descriptions like "emerald fire" sometimes.

mood ➔

V: . . .er – generally anxious? Trying to be helpful regardless?

A: Sarcastic? To hide that I'm more worried than I let on?

gender ➔

V: Male, he/him.

A: Female, she/her.

summer or winter ➔

V: Summer – I'm not a fan of the cold. Though spring's my actual favorite season – I love seeing everything come back to life.

A: I feel like I should like winter more, because of the longer nights, but now that we've actually fixed the sunlight issue. . .yes, summer. I'm not really a fan of the cold either.

morning or afternoon ➔

V: Afternoon – I've never been that much of a morning person, and mornings tend to be – stressful in the Commonwealth.

A: To be fair, so are the afternoons, but – yes, generally you're not dealing with threats still wiping the sleep from your eyes in said afternoons. And in my case, they're closer to night, which is still the time when I feel most myself, so. . .

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔

V: [exchanging a very warm look with Alice] Yes.

A: [giving it right back] Very much so.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔

V: Maybe not true love, but attraction? A sense of connection, kinship? Certainly – that's how I felt when I first met Victoria, and later Emily.

A: I can get behind that – my mother said she felt a pull toward my father when they first met. . .but I don't think love at first sight exists. You need to get to know someone – form a solid bond first.

who ended your last relationship ➔

V: [darkly cheerful] The American and Chinese governments, throwing nuclear missiles at each other! [sighing] No, that’s not quite fair – yes, they drove us into Vault 111, but the ones who actually murdered my wife and girlfriend were Kellogg and the Institute. The former more obviously than the latter, but. . . [voice cracks] Damn it, what was wrong with putting everyone's life support back on. . .

A: [puts a comforting hand on his arm] In my case, I never really had a romantic relationship before – even friendships were kind of fleeting, or long-distance. I've gone along with flirtations in the past to get meals, sure, but none of those ever turned into relationships. The closest I had was – well, Heather getting blood-bonded to me, which I didn't even mean to do. I was just trying to help her, and I didn't realize at the time. . . [bites her lip] I ended that – sent her away before she could get hurt by my enemies, explaining that what would make me happiest would be for her to be with her grandmother and stay in college. I wanted to go back and maybe try to help her some more once I was done with LaCroix's bullshit, but then. . .I hope she had a good life, in the end.

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔

V: Not knowingly – goodness, what started off my, Victoria, and Emily's threesome relationship was an attempt not to break anyone's heart! It worked out very well, until. . . [shakes his head]

A: [squeezes his arm gently] I probably broke Heather's heart by sending her away – she looked so sad as she walked out the door. But it was for the best – I dread to think what would have happened to her if the Sabbat had realized I had a ghoul! Other than that – depends on if anyone I've drunk from was hoping for more than just a "quickie." I doubt that, though.

are you afraid of commitments ➔

V: I'm afraid of them being forced on me because of people randomly promoting me every time I even get close to an organization. [sighing, reaching up to fiddle with a chain around his neck] But – maybe a little. Seeing – seeing your wife get shot in front of you. . .then your girlfriend's half-rotted corpse beside her. . .it sticks with you.

A: [nods] Being the only survivor of the house fire that killed your family sticks with you too. As does two of the most prominent men in your life being the bastard who killed them and was trying to wipe your mind, and the bastard who killed you and turned you into a bloodsucker. Add in my own rather unromantic nature, and – yes, I did pretty much avoid commitments for a while. [smiles at Victor] I think I'm a little better about it now, though.

have you hugged someone in the last week ➔

V: Oh, yes – Preston and Piper just the other day, in fact!

A: I'm not usually much of one for being touched, so I don't hug much. . . [thinks for a moment, then hugs Victor] But I'll happily make the answer a "yes" in this case.

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔

V: Does the brief period of time where Emily was crushing on me before Victoria noticed and decided to let her and me know it was okay if we wanted to date too count? Otherwise, I really don't think so. I wasn't popular with girls before meeting Victoria.

A: Bumby never made it clear whether he wanted to just turn me into a prostitute or fuck me himself as well, but I wouldn't count him anyway, because he was a horrible waste of flesh. So I have no idea – don't think so. Heather was – very open about her admiration.

have you ever broken your own heart ➔

V: Again, what happened between me, Victoria, and Emily was an attempt to avoid that. . .I can't say I have. It seems like others always break it for me.

A: Sending Heather away did hurt me a bit – not in the same way it hurt her, but it was nice to have someone else around the haven. . . [looks up at Victor] And I did resist romance initially here. Fortunately tall, dark, and handsome here didn't let me break my own heart.

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔

V: Love, definitely. [going pink] I mean, lust can be nice, but. . .

A: Love – even alive, I wasn't particularly interested in sex. And as a vampire, any urges that way now go toward sucking on people's necks. Which I guess is sex-adjacent, but still. . . Maybe "love" for serious relationships, "lust" for getting a meal.

lemonade or iced tea ➔

V: Oh, I haven't had either in ages. . .and I recall needing a lot of sugar for both to enjoy them. . .I guess lemonade. I think I had that more often.

A: Literally can't drink either these days, for multiple reasons. . .but I'm going with lemonade because I have fonder memories of that. And – hmmm. I wonder if it’s possible to make a variation with that “plasma fruit” Ted came up with at Wildwood Cemetery. . .

cats or dogs ➔

V: Dogs! I had a dog growing up, Scraps, who was my best friend! And Victoria, Emily, and I were going to get a dog shortly after. . . [pause, shakes head] And now I have Dogmeat and Mutt! They’re a good pair.

A: Cats! My best friends growing up were the family cat, Dinah, and her two kittens, Snowdrop and Kitty. Being a vampire does tend to make animals rather mistrustful of me, sadly, but I had some luck feeding ferals pre-War. And we managed to trap a cat recently who didn’t immediately try to claw me and run away – I’ve named her Kit-Kat.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔

V: A few best friends – I'm n-not good with lots of people, and I just. . .I'm always so awkward, s-socially. I'd rather have a couple of people I know I can trust.

A: The same – I don't trust easily, after all the bullshit I've been through. Give me a small circle of people I know have my back over a larger group of more casual friends any day.

wild night out or romantic night in ➔

V: Romantic night in. I'm not much for parties. I like staying home with the people I love and just – being together.

A: Sort of like "love or lust" above, this kind of depends. I like a romantic night in for any actual relationships, but I did my fair share of clubbing to find someone to drink from back in the day.

day or night ➔

V: Well, I do like a good sunny day, but. . . [looking at Alice] I've really come to appreciate the nights in the Commonwealth. And not just because of the stars.

A: [smirking at him] Flatterer. . .but yes, night. For the longest time, it was the only time of day I could be out in. . .and even though it's wonderful now to be able to go out during the day and enjoy that, night is still when I feel most myself.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔

Victor: No, but that's because I never did. I grew up in the middle of a plague – I didn't have much incentive to sneak out! It took until I was fourteen for cases to drop enough in our part of Boston for my parents to be comfortable sending me to a school with other children, and by then I was so used to staying at home, sneaking out never occurred to me.

Alice: Oh god, yes, the New Plague, that was horrific. . .on my end, yes, I was. I tried to sneak out a couple of times as a small child to have adventures in the garden late at night or in the middle of storms. . .if my parents didn't catch me, though, my older sister did. I think I only actually got outside once, and even then it was only for a couple of minutes before Lizzie caught up with me. Mostly because she was trying to sneak out too, and didn't want her little sister tagging along.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔

Victor: . . .yes. To both. I – I can be pretty clumsy if I'm n-not paying attention to where I'm going.

Alice: [giving him an odd look] I've fallen down stairs – rushing around as a child on imaginary adventures – but never up. I'm – not entirely sure how you manage that.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt ➔

V: [tugging at the chain around his neck again, which is revealed to have a blue butterfly pendant and a gold wedding ring strung on it] Yes. Something I can't have, I'm sad to say.

A: [playing with her own necklace, which is an old iron key shaped like the symbol for Venus] Same here. I'd like to think your Victoria and Emily and my parents and Lizzie are in the same place, at least.

wanted to disappear ➔

V: Oh, plenty of times. I have an unfortunate knack for saying the wrong thing and then wishing I could melt into the floor. And – well, I suppose every time I've been hiding from enemies and wanted to just turn invisible counts. . .

A: I wanted to disappear in the asylum a couple of times, in the sense of 'just stop existing.' Survivor's guilt does a number on your brain, let me tell you. . .though I can actually disappear these days, thanks to Obfuscate! Though, annoyingly, I genuinely can't do it if someone's looking.

smile or eyes ➔

V: Oh, back to these? [thoughtful] I – honestly, I think eyes. Victoria and Emily's eyes are one of the things I remember best about them. . . [smiles at Alice] And my current paramour has some of the most beautiful eyes in the Commonwealth.

A: You're going to make me blush despite being dead if you keep on like that. Though, what's good for the goose is good for the gander – while I like your eyes, it's your smile that really warms my undead heart.

shorter or taller ➔

V: Um – shorter out of necessity. I haven't met many women who are six-foot-three.

A: Similarly, I'm five-foot-five, so I kind of have to go taller.

intelligence or attraction ➔

V: . . .I assume this means intelligence or looks, and – I can't deny I like a pretty face, but the main reason I got together with the women I did is because I could hold a good conversation with them. Intelligence.

A: My attraction seems to be based on actually getting to know a person, and I don't suffer fools gladly. Intelligence all the way.

hook-up or relationship ➔

V: Oh, relationship. I never had a hook-up. I can't – I can't just do the "one night stand" thing. I need something a little more.

A: Another one where my actual feelings versus how I'd act to get a meal clash – though admittedly, I never had a "proper" hook-up. I'd just get someone in a quiet spot, suck a bit of blood, and let them get on with their lives. But now that things are better, I'm only too happy to commit myself to a real relationship.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔

V: Well, it’s something of a moot point now, but. . . [he waggles a hand, making a face] I have to admit, I never liked my parents much. They weren’t very “hands-on” in raising me, and I often felt like they considered me a burden. Or a bargaining chip for social status. I did my best not to rock the boat just because upsetting my mother never ended well, but. . . [sigh] It wasn’t good.

A: By contrast, I had a perfectly lovely family life – my parents were kind and encouraged my sister and I in our various pursuits, and Lizzie. . .she was the best older sister a girl could have. I felt like I could tell her anything, and even if the age difference made playing together difficult, she did try whenever she had a spare moment. The reason I have such an “enthusiastic” imagination is because Mama, Papa, and Lizzie never tried to stifle it. I was – I felt so loved and happy the first eight years of my life. . .and then Bumby took it all away. [she looks away] I – it’s not fair.

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔

V: [completely deadpan] I was frozen at the age of 27 in a vault designed to store people long-term for unknown reasons, and was finally thawed 210 years later, to find my wife and girlfriend dead, my son kidnapped, and the world above having been turned into a wasteland of vicious wildlife, super mutants, and raiders. With parts of it still irradiated because people are STILL launching small nuclear missiles at each other. Also the people who kidnapped my son can apparently make synthetic humans and use them as spies. And in the middle of all this, I’ve somehow ended up the leader of a bunch of little farms and such that composes a ragtag peacekeeping force that is still better than the actual assholes in power armor who have moved in. You tell me.

A: I can top that – turned into a vampire at age 20 after moving to Los Angeles to make sure I was far away from a murder I’d committed, then ended up roaming the world after a literally-explosive end to my time there as everyone’s errand boy. Was in Boston when the bombs dropped and got staked when my hidey-hole collapsed in on me, meaning I too got essentially “frozen” for 210 years, until a raider attacking this fellow here yanked the stake out and I responded by sucking him dry. Leaving me in a post-nuclear apocalypse trying to survive in a world where anyone’s blood might be at least slightly radioactive. Also we discovered that vampires are in fact the result of a little bit of some Lovecraftian horror worshiped by the people over at Dunwich Borers leaking into our world and infecting our souls. So that’s fun.

have you ever run away from home ➔

V: No – again, grew up in a plague, never really wanted to leave the house because of it.

A: I threatened to, once or twice, when upset, but I never followed through. Though I guess my moving to California could be construed as a kind of running away after I killed Bumby. . .but I never thought of Houndsditch as home. Same with Los Angeles, after I left there in the wake of that mess with LaCroix.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔

V: No, though – sometimes I thought my mother was thinking about it. Whenever my social awkwardness reared its ugly head at one of her parties.

A: My parents were never the sort to do that, and Bumby of course wanted me close at Houndsditch. And I left polite vampire society on my own terms after LaCroix.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔

V: . . .I’m not entirely sure how to classify my relationship with Strong. But I know he thinks more highly of me than I do of him. I – I try to be understanding, but it gets very tiring to listen to him go on about how one day Super Mutants will kill everything.

A: I had to be a lot friendlier to a lot people back in Los Angeles than I would have liked. . .but I don’t think any of them were laboring under the delusion we were actual friends. So no – if I don’t like you, I don’t hide it.

who is your best friend ➔

V: Alice, Preston, and Piper, definitely – they’re the ones I’ve traveled the most with, shared the most with, and just – feel the most comfortable around. [smiles] Oh, and Dogmeat of course.

A: Victor’s definitely my best friend – and frankly, I feel pretty close to Piper and Preston myself. They’re good people. [she smirks] Though Hancock and Nick are definitely the best people to snark with.

who knows everything about you ➔

V: Probably most of the people in the Commonwealth, I’ve had to explain about being frozen and what happened to my son a lot. . .more seriously, I’d say the above three. They’re the people I’m closest to, and the ones I’m most comfortable sharing information with.

A: I don’t know about everything, but – yes, Victor. And probably Piper knows the most after him, given she wanted to interview me for her paper.

#memes #fallout of darkness #tell me where to find shelter #(keeping that old tag for ease of use for the moment)#fallout 4 #vtmb #hopefully this isn't too confusing for everyone #Ted is supposed to be the Tremere living at Wildwood Cemetery along with the other 'rejected Bloodlines Protagonists'#and yes he made Plasma Fruit #because if I'm going all in with this crossover I will go ALL IN #I have a nasty feeling living through coronavirus is going to inspire me whenever I have to write about Fallout's various diseases #also its government #also yes Victor's opinion on Strong is my own #dude I'm trying to like you buuut #Piper and Preston are my current fave companions #but please remember I am kinda stuck in early days in the game itself #we'll see how things evolve as I take on other companions!#however Ada will be respected around here among the robots #she deserves better #queued

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smileyoongle · 5 years

Text

Come Back Home (A Kim Taehyung Mafia AU) // Part 5

So as an apology for the previous small chapter, I decided to give you a long one. Let's get it!

Summary: You were dead. Or at least that's what Kim Taehyung thought. But love never dies. A myth, yes. And maybe that's why when he finds out that you are alive, he may have already lost you.

Pairing: Mafia!Taehyung×Reader

"What the fuck did you do?!"

Minho bellowed, his fists clenching as he held himself back from knocking over the expensive vase that lay on the table in the middle of the room. Yoona sat on the couch with her face buried in her hands, shaking her head knowingly at Minho's outburst.

Minho wasn't expecting this from his sister. As much as he used to think that Yoona cared about you, he wasn't sure anymore. She lied to you when you were at your most vulnerable state. What kind of a best friend does that?

"I don't understand why you're so mad." Yoona stated, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. She could feel the headache coming, the hectic events of the day making her exhausted.

Minho raised his eyebrows in disbelief, scoffing at his older sister who seemed unaffected by whatever happened.

You were lying unconscious in bed upstairs, all because Yoona wasn't in her right mind.

"You do know that you just signed your death warrant, right? I am not her boyfriend. My feelings for her are nothing in comparison to what she feels for Taehyung. If you can't take care of her then we might as well just send her back with Taehyung. At least he won't fool around with her." Minho spat, disgusted by his sister's actions.

There was no denying that he did like you, once upon a time. But he respected your choices more. He respected the fact that you were happy with Kim Taehyung, the man who was out to ruin his life. If Minho was alive today, it was only because of you. You warmed Taehyung up and everyone in the underworld was aware of it.

Yoona's eyes shot up to Minho's, glaring at him as if he had committed a crime. She knew she kind of messed up but Minho's accusations weren't helping. She cared about you, a lot more than anyone but no one wanted to understand her.

"I am not the monster here, Minho. Taehyung is not good for her. She chose him over me- us, only because he manipulated her. But now her mind is completely free from his hold. And the only way to get her back is through you. So if you care about her, you are her boyfriend. Do you-"

"When I sent her with you, I didn't think you were gonna stoop so low."

A deep voice made Yoona's eyes widen, her head whipping towards the doorway to find three men standing there. Taehyung's piercing eyes stared into hers with such intensity, she almost shuddered.

A wave of betrayal washed over her as she turned to look at Minho, who was only staring at her nonchalantly.

"You called him?!" Yoona sneered, glaring at her brother with a look that made him feel guilty. But not for too long.

Whatever she has up her sleeve, is wrong.

"I only called Hoseok. Y/N isn't well and Hoseok is basically her doctor so…"

"Y/N is perfectly okay! She only fainted because she's still weak." Yoona argued, staring at everyone in the room with a crazed look.

Hoseok took a look around the house, wondering where you were. He decided to break through the ice and just get over with everything before things escalated out of hand.

"Where is she?" He asked, giving Minho a pointed look. Yoona shook her head at her brother, begging him with her eyes to not say anything. But unfortunately, Minho pitied you more than he pitied his sister. He didn't want your purity to be tainted by someone as cunning as his sister.

"Upstairs. The last room on the left." Minho answered, holding Yoona's arm when it seemed like she was about to run off to stop Hoseok.

Minho knew that he wasn't a saint but he hated himself for everything he had done. Two months at a rehab facility made him realize how short life is to just waste it in the confines of a building, trying to recover from something that could have been avoided. He was grateful for Yoona. She was a good sister but maybe not a good friend.

Taehyung simply stared at Yoona with a blank expression, not even glancing at Hoseok as he made his way upstairs.

Taehyung was lost. It was simple as that. He knew that your memories weren't supposed to be toyed with and Yoona was doing exactly that. She had put him in a position to hurt you more. If he suddenly went up to you and told you that it wasn't Minho that you loved, he was sure you'd lose your mind. He couldn't do that to you. Absolutely not.

Jungkook stepped forward towards Minho, an icy glare fixed on the latter.

"What's your game? You think you can act like a saint and get away while your pathetic sister spins up a web of lies for a helpless girl who was fucking tortured? I should have killed you when I had the chance." Jungkook spat, a faint smirk painting itself on his lips when he saw Minho gulp. No matter who said what, Jungkook knew better than to trust anyone related to Yoona.

Minho stood his ground, returning Jungkook's glare. Or at least trying to. He was intimidated by the doe-eyed man but he had to prove himself. He wasn't the same person anymore. He had changed for the better and he wanted everyone to see that.

"My brother had nothing to do with this so keep him out!" Yoona retorted, trying to protect her sibling. Jungkook only chuckled in response before his eyes darkened.

"You're the one who dragged him into this by making him Y/N's boyfriend." Jungkook replied, gritting his teeth. He could feel the itch in his hands, begging him to slit Yoona's throat. He couldn't even bare to stand in the same room as her. He was truly disgusted by her. Until now, he used to think he was a bad person and he deserved to burn alive but Yoona proved him wrong.

Taehyung quietly stood, watching the exchange by the sidelines. He was actually dumbfounded. He didn't know what to say but something in him believed Minho. Maybe he wasn't lying.

But can you trust him?

Taehyung frowned at his conscience, taking a step forward to take the lead.

"I don't know why you lied to her. Whatever twisted reason you have, I don't care. But if something happens to her, I'll make sure to hurt you more than I hurt Castillo. And I hurt him real bad." Taehyung seethed, gritting his teeth so hard that he thought he'd almost break them. Yoona's eyes went from Taehyung's face to the floor, a knowing shudder passing through her spine. She knew Taehyung wasn't lying. Even though she didn't know how much Taehyung's love for you was worth, she did know that he was highly protective of you.

Taehyung inhaled deeply before turning his eyes to Minho who was silently gaping at him. With a burning glare, Taehyung took hold of Minho's collar, receiving a gasp from Yoona's mouth.

Taehyung tightened his grip, pulling the collar together to constrict some of Minho's oxygen.

"And you. If you play smart with me, you'll fucking wish you were never born." Taehyung threatened, his eyes turning a slight shade of red. The air in the room was thick and the silence was deafening. Everything seemed to be on fire due to Taehyung's wrath. But it was fair.

Hoseok descended the stairs, pursing his lips on seeing Taehyung's hold on Minho.

"Y/N is awake. She's alright for now." Hoseok announced, eyeing Yoona as she sighed. Taehyung frowned, letting go of Minho's collar and turning to face Hoseok.

"For now? What do you mean?"

Hoseok sighed sadly, looking at Taehyung with all the pity that he could muster. Jungkook narrowed his eyes, "What is it?"

"She could be having PTSD."

Everyone's breathing seemingly hitched, Taehyung's eyes closing in sorrow.

At this point, all he could do was blame himself. This was all his fault and there was no one else to blame. He should have protected you better. He shouldn't have left your hand and he shouldn't have lost hope so soon.

Hoseok cautiously stepped forward and placed a hand on Taehyung's shoulder. "She wants to see you, man."

At those words, Taehyung's eyes immediately shot up to Hoseok's, seeing if there was any hint of sarcasm in them. But there wasn't. All he could see was a sense of relieved happiness. And Taehyung couldn't be more pleased.

"Really?" Taehyung asked, his heart racing in his chest as if it were in a marathon. Hoseok nodded in response before nudging his head towards the staircase. With that, Taehyung gave him a firm smile and took off, a breathy laugh escaping his lips.

There was no feeling in this world that could describe how he felt. It was a mix of emotions, too much for his heart to handle and too good for his lips to hide. He was grinning, breathing heavily as he reached the last room.

He knocked lightly, wondering why you wanted to see him. Maybe you remembered something? Even though that was too big of a dream, Taehyung hoped it was true. He wanted his love back.

On hearing a soft 'come in', he opened the door, stepping inside the decent sized room with blue walls. His eyes scanned the room as he gently closed the door behind him, the wind coming in from the windows making his hair ruffle.

There was a kind of warmth in the room. It felt like home and rainbows and all things nice. Why?

Because you were there.

Taehyung saw you sitting on the bed, your hair preventing him from seeing your face as you were turned away from him. But the bandages and cotton in front of you told him that you were trying to change your dressing.

With a hiss, you turned your face towards Taehyung, not seeing him yet. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back on the headboard, wincing a little at your exposed wound. Taehyung's breath hitched on seeing your shoulder bare, your sleeve hanging on your upper arm. There was a painful looking gash which was partially bleeding, it's bluish edges making Taehyung squirm. You must be in so much pain.

"I can help with that."

You flinched on hearing Taehyung's voice, your head jolting back and hitting the headboard with a thud.

"Ah-ouch…" you whimpered, rubbing the back of your head furiously. You felt so embarrassed. You had completely forgotten that someone was in the room with you. But not your fault. You had failed to tell Hoseok that your wound was bleeding and by the time you went to say it, he had already left. It was all left to you now.

The throbbing in your head seemed to go away in seconds and you finally turned your attention to Kim Taehyung who was looking at you with concern. He had a black turtleneck and his tanned skin was glowing in the light that entered your room through the window.

You were standing in the presence of a mafia leader who looked so damn fine. Your cheeks heated up and you looked away from him, his eyes becoming too intimidating for you to handle.

"Yes please…" you whispered, peering up at him through your lashes. Taehyung almost didn't hear it, too busy admiring your flustered state. You looked like an injured angel. His angel.

He gave you a soft nod and sat down beside you, inhaling deeply as you shifted a little towards him, leaning your shoulder so that he could easily access it.

You internally gasped, your heart thudding loudly when Taehyung's fingers came in contact with your skin. He was trying his best to not hurt you, grazing his fingers on your shoulder to brush your hair away. Your skin was on fire under his touch and you turned your face away from him to avoid blushing more.

Taehyung started working on your wound, cleaning the blood and making sure your bleeding has stopped.

"Did you hit your shoulder somewhere?" He asked, frowning in concentration. The wound looked like it was tampered with, otherwise Hoseok's dressing was always on point.

You glanced at his face, biting your lip at the proximity. If you leaned in closer, your lips would definitely touch his cheek. You shook your head, willing all these absurd thoughts to go away.

"Umm….I think when I passed out, I fell on this side." You answered, nodding your head towards your wounded shoulder. Taehyung nodded, his lips pursed as he bandaged your shoulder nicely.

"There." He mumbled, pulling away and letting you see his work. But your eyes couldn't move away from his face, a smile spreading on your lips as you thanked him.

Taehyung held back the urge to kiss you, his gaze falling to your lips. There was a time when he didn't have to think so much about kissing you. And now he wasn't sure when he'll be able to do that.

"You wanted to see me?" Taehyung asked, his curiosity eating him up inside. His mind was running through a number of possibilities.

Did you have a question that you couldn't ask anyone else?

Did you perhaps remember something about your relationship with Taehyung?

"I...had like a vision? I don't know what to call it." You mumbled, fiddling with your fingers and trying to figure out the right thing to say. Taehyung narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, noticing your nervousness.

"You can talk to me, Y/N. I don't mean any harm to you. Never have." Taehyung assured, offering you a gentle smile. Your heart swooned at the way his lips stretched at you. He was looking at you as if you were the reason for his existence.

Maybe you were. Maybe that's why you had that sketchy dream.

You found yourself staring at him, his eyes pulling you in like a moth to the light.

"I saw you and me. I don't know what was going on but we seemed...close." You explained, your voice soothing Taehyung like honey. He tilted his head, hiding the smile that was threatening to play out.

You had a flashback?

"I wanna know who you are. What's your relationship with me? Because nothing seems right. It's like I don't even know who I am. I just wanna remember something apart from what I already know. Just...please tell me." You begged, your voice cracking as you gasped occasionally to breath.

Taehyung immediately moved forward to comfort you but you already had something in mind. You threw yourself in his arms, crying against his chest as he froze under your touch.

This was a girl with no memory, crying in his arms because she was lost. But for Taehyung, this was you, begging him to make you remember. But he didn't know how to tell you anything.

So he just wrapped his arms around you and held you firmly, rubbing your back and whispering comforting things to you.

"You're right, Y/N. We were close. We are close. You can say I was your...best friend." Taehyung said, his voice like a whisper, fading into your cries. He couldn't bring himself to tell you the truth. Because you weren't okay yet. You weren't ready to love him back. And he was willing to wait.

Something in you snapped and you pulled away harshly.

What were you doing?! Throwing yourself in the arms of a man you didn't know?

Hurt flashed across Taehyung's face but he was quick to cover it. However, he couldn't control the aching in his heart. He missed you so much. And seeing that clueless look in your eyes made him weaker.

You wiped away your tears and glanced at the floor, feeling a little embarrassed about your reaction. Definitely you could have handled this situation without crying. But what were you to do? Your mind was a big black hole that seemed to grow deeper.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done-"

"You don't have to apologize for anything when you're with me, love." Taehyung said, giving you a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. How would it? He was fucking heartbroken.

You didn't respond, only playing with the hem of your shirt as Taehyung continued to stare at you.

This was it then, Taehyung thought. He stood up and decided that maybe it was best to leave you alone. You had things to think about.

A boyfriend, you mean.

He gritted his teeth at the realisation. Only if he could tell you.

With a shaky sigh, Taehyung turned around to leave, placing his hands on the doorknob when your voice stopped him.

"If we were best friends….I can trust you, right?" You asked, looking at the handsome male with hopeful eyes. He looked at you over his shoulder before turning around.

"Always."

You could feel yourself relaxing at his reply. It felt right. He felt right.

"If I ever wanna meet you, will you come?" You were now sitting up straighter, the pain in your shoulder feeling less important than Taehyung.

There it was again, Taehyung's moment of hope. It was exhausting to lose hope again and again only for it to revive. Taehyung's life had been very different before you. He didn't believe in hope or any of that TV series cliché. But after you, he changed. He liked himself better and he knew everyone did too.

His eyes darted around the room in search of anything he could write with. You seemed to read his mind because the next second, you held out your wrist along with a pen from under your pillow.

Taehyung was speechless before he let out a soft chuckle and moved forward.

"I-there was no paper." You stated, biting your lip afterward. Taehyung took the pen from you and held your hand in his. Your heart suddenly picked up it's pace and you mentally scolded yourself.

He's your best friend.

You reminded yourself, a soft gasp leaving your mouth as the pen glided over your skin. Taehyung's dark brown eyes glanced at you for a second before he continued writing down his number, a gush of wind adding to your goosebumps.

He let go of your hand, his fingers lingering a little longer then they should. But you didn't oppose. His touch felt so warm and fragile. It made you feel special.

"I'll call you." You said, making him nod in response. Hesitantly, Taehyung took off to leave.

"Take care, Y/N. I'll see you soon."

💔🖤💔🖤

Jungkook was mad at Taehyung for not telling you the truth when he had the chance. It was like Taehyung suddenly became a saint and he wasn't liking it. You were a special person for every member of the gang, your bright nature had contributed to changing everyone for the better. And Jungkook was the first one you had bonded with. Even before Taehyung.

Nobody needed to say anything, but everyone was lost without you. Taehyung was a little more than lost but it was destructive. They all needed you.

That's why Jungkook had requested to see you. Taehyung didn't say no because he knew how Jungkook felt towards you. There was a soft spot in the youngest male's heart for you. Taehyung trusted Jungkook with your life.

And so here he was, despite the protests of Yoona, with a small book that was tucked under his leather jacket. He was gonna fix it.

He knocked and let himself in after hearing your 'come in'. He winced on seeing your shocked expression but he knew you would relax.

"Hey Y/N. You feeling okay now?" Jungkook asked, flashing you his sweetest smile. And it seemed to work because your shoulders relaxed visibly.

You gently nodded, taking in his entire appearance. You knew him. You had caught his name when you were at Taehyung's house.

"Jungkook, wasn't it?" You asked, sighing when he nodded. Jungkook's heart swelled with pride. You did remember him. Even if it wasn't since before your kidnapping incident.

"I just came to give you something. I know how you must be feeling about all this and I wanna help you." He stated, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

Any help was welcomed by you. You were desperate and hungry to find out the missing pieces of your memory's puzzle. You looked at him with a certain glint of happiness.

"What is it?" You enquired, gripping the sheets tightly. Jungkook looked behind him at the door, trying to catch any sound of someone approaching but there was none. He walked over to you and took the book from under his jacket, running his finger over it once, as if to relish it's feel.

"This is your diary. You used to write in it everyday. Don't ask me how I got it, Y/N. You'll find out everything soon. Just know that...I hope you remember me someday." Jungkook said, handing you the baby blue book which had your name engraved on it.

It was a gift to you by Taehyung, not that you'd remember. You glanced at the beautiful notebook, a smile gracing your lips naturally. This was the key. The answer to every question you had. You detected the sadness in Jungkook's voice when he said those words to you, a pang of guilt washing over you.

"I am sorry." Was all you could say and it broke Jungkook's heart. Without another word, he bent down and hugged you, clenching his eyes shut to prevent the tears that were threatening to spill. He took in your scent, letting out a breathy laugh when he felt your fingers ruffling his hair. This was something you always did. But this could be a coincidence for all he knew, so he brushed it off.

Jungkook pulled away, quickly wiping away a tear that finally made its way down his cheek. But you saw it. You didn't know the man before you. You didn't know how he came into your life but you did know that you meant a lot to him. Something told you that your life was perfect before everything had changed.

"I'll get going now." Jungkook waved at you, taking steps backwards until he reached the door. He grinned at you when you waved back, a sense of belonging settling in your features.

Just as he opened the door, he stopped and glanced at you. The dark look in his eyes made you worried. It made you wonder what was suddenly running through his mind.

"Be careful, Y/N. Everyone's always lying around here."

Taglist: @min-t-posts @annoyinglyunabashedangel @bringitseijoh @kpopgirlbtssvt @jeonjello @shadowstark @bangtanniexxx @wendyiiwl @imlostindarkness @sinnersblogg @jazzytfw @lovestrucked-again @hopetookmysoul @angelwolfexorcist @taes-strawberry @ireallylikefoodandyoutube @annoyingpessimist @hajimaoppaa @atwoodscott @kawaiimusiccollection @byeolizzie @sleepysavya @sensiblebutch @moonlit-tae @soundofwonderland @the-fangirl-lorax @btsarmysvtcarat @youthandtears @novelreadOOO @glitterytreephantom @entitledtolove @somewhereinthestarss

Sorry to the people I missed out. Tell me if you wanna be tagged! Okay bye ily!

-XX

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afriendtokilltime · 5 years

Text

Okay, fine. Let’s talk about parasocial relationships.

The term “parasocial” has been making the rounds as a very very smart sounding thing to say. It not only establishes that you know an unusual and complex word, but also that you are too smart to fall for marketing tactics, and that you are much too cool to show enthusiasm for anything!

So, what’s a parasocial relationship? It’s a one-sided relationship with a celebrity or fictional character--the entire relationship takes place in your head. You’re reading this on tumblr, which means you have lots of parasocial relationships. You’re very parasocially popular! Maybe you even have one with me. (Probably not, I stopped posting for a long time, so we probably don’t parasocially know one another at all.)

I first encountered this term being used as an inherently bad thing, something to avoid, as though the term referred to the negative version of itself. What I saw was not people explaining why it can be harmful, but speaking as if we all know it is (the way you’d use “alcoholism”).

I see people carefully watching themselves to make sure they aren’t engaging in a “parasocial relationship,” or referring to a behavior they don’t like as “borderline parasocial relationship behavior.” But, there is no such thing as “relationship behavior” other than closing the psychological distance between yourself and another person. “Parasocial relationship behavior” is doing this, but it’s one-sided. You get closer, and they do not. That’s it. That’s the only thing. Does that mean building a shrine to Kristen Stewart? Does it mean crying with joy at Hbomberguy’s Mermaids/Donkey Kong stream? Does it mean writing a 100k fanfiction about Hermione Granger, Vampire Slayer? Does it mean buying a David Bowie CD? Does it mean begging the show writers to finally make that queerbaity relationship canon? Does it mean killing the president? You decide!

Becoming psychologically closer to people and characters is not inherently unhealthy, whether they know who you are or not. How you treat them and respond to that closeness, and how they choose to cultivate closeness, can of course be unhealthy...but so can reciprocal relationships.

What’s weird to me is that we generally seem to be aware that there are bad and good (healthy and unhealthy) relationships. I have a good relationship with @randomshoes because we support each other, are interested in each others’ success, spend quality time together, and communicate well. If I was to stalk her or kill a president for her, or if she was to abuse my trust and take all my money while falsely assuring me she loved me, our relationship would be somewhat less healthy.

So, what’s so bad about parasocial relationships?

They don’t actually care about you and they are taking your money.

If a marketing team/a celebrity uses these relationships to prey on vulnerable people, that might be an abusive relationship...in the other direction. If I manipulate a friend I know out of her money, I’m the bad guy, right? But if I’m famous, and she’s 16, and I knowingly manipulate her out of her money, then she’s the bad guy, because teenage girls are dumb and they should feel bad for ever liking anything, forming identities, feeling attraction, or basically being uncool and childish in any way.

It is definitely a good idea to remember that transactions are a part of how art is usually consumed, and not to express your affection or deep identification with an art/artist by spending lots of money on tee shirts that depict them. However, even this type of interaction can be encouraged in a healthy, positive way. Patreon seems to really make people mad, but it’s not the worst system for artists who Live in A Society and don’t happen to have any lembas laying around. “I’ll pretend to love you so you can make me a millionaire” seems kinda gross but “I appreciate that your support helps me continue making the art you love” kinda sorta does not.

Some people go too far and commit heinous crimes because they expect their parasocial affections to be reciprocated.

Those crimes would be heinous even in an already reciprocal relationship. (I already mentioned this, but if I committed terrorism for my very real girlfriend who knows exactly who I am, that would probably make me no better or worse than Hinkley.)

You’re an isolated loser and need real friends.

Okay. Anybody pouring all their energy into one relationship is probably not doing life correctly, regardless of how parasocial that relationship is. But this is a point on which I simply do not agree. People engage in these behaviors regardless of how wide their friend circle is. If not with celebrities, then with fictional characters, or even historical or political figures (think more “little father” than “senator” though what you do with that Bernie Sanders picture in your room is between you and God). Oh speaking of God, relationships with religious figures might arguably have some similarities and speak to the same human tendency, but there is of course the difference that Justin Bieber doesn’t know who TF you are, but God does.

Uh, sorry, you didn’t address my point. Forming parasocial relationships stops you developing real relationships.

I actually think it encourages reciprocal socialization. I didn’t have many friends growing up. When I met two other kids who were obsessed with Harry Potter, we bonded over that, making up our own characters (next generation type of BS...still better than the book 7 epilogue), and this formed the basis of a friendship that lasted basically my entire pubescence. These parasocial relationships are generally part of a broader interest, and interests and hobbies help you meet people, break the ice, and uhm...form real relationships.

It’s not just interests, though. I was hardcore into dinosaurs as a kid. Literally every child likes dinosaurs, but that didn’t help me form any new friendships. The other reason I think parasocial relationships lead to better real relationships is...practice. You are engaging in social behaviors, whether or not you’re any good at them, whether or not you succeed. This is what’s required to learn any new skill, but it’s generally discouraged.

You don’t just learn about how to socialize, you also learn about yourself. You develop a sense of identity and learn what you like and dislike by associating yourself with favorite characters.

Children and teens often imitate their behaviors, and though that can be a bit annoying (why yes I do have the Spanish Inquisition sketch memorized but thanks for repeating it to make sure I got it), it also helps them figure out what kind of people they want to be (maybe you want to be funny, so you over time learn that what made Monty Python so funny was surprise, surprise and fear, and you develop comedic timing). Knowing what kind of person you want to be is important.

Right, but it’s selfish. You keep calling it “one sided” which it literally is. There’s no checks on your behavior.

Right. I think that’s good, though? I think it’s good for people to sometimes do selfish things. I think it’s good to cultivate parasocial relationships because they are a way to self-soothe, and get your own needs met, without burdening others. We are social creatures, and we absolutely need relationships, but nobody owes you a relationship. Nobody owes you affection or love. Having a way to cultivate that for yourself is actually incredibly valuable.

It’s worth commenting here that I think my strongest parasocial relationships are probably with characters I’ve made up myself. They are “a part of me” in that they are always there in my life, but unlike some writers, I do not base characters on myself or see them as reflecting specific parts of me. I relate to them in the same way I relate to Harry Potter, except that I was the one who made them up initially, and books I write about them can be published and I can make money off them. (On some theoretical plane of existence.) It’s pretty clear that I am the one doing all the work on both sides of this particular parasocial relationship, but it doesn’t feel super different to me than the fact I very intensely relate to certain characters not made up by me. I don’t conceive myself dating one of them, like I don’t have a Dorothy L. Sayers thing going on, but I don’t really think it would be wrong if I did.

What do you mean not being a burden on others? What about toxic fans putting pressure on creators?

Yeah...that’ll be in the “unhealthy relationship” category. But, okay, I guess where I am ending up here is I do think it’s good to recognize parasocial relationships exist and talk about them, because it reminds you that even if a relationship is not reciprocal, you do have responsibilities. If the other person is real, that means they are only human, and even if you have no choice but to stan, you should give them some breathing space. The Shinji Ikari ContraPoints in my head can be my super close friend, but if I expect the real Natalie Wynn to give me any more energy than she already does to her entire audience by making the awesome videos I enjoy so much, I’d be really rude, demanding, and honestly not worthy of her friendship if it was “real.”

Parasocial relationships are relationships which means, just like with reciprocal ones, you have to not be a dick. You have to respect the other person and recognize they are a human being separate from you. Even with characters, Harry Potter can’t be hurt by anything weird and demanding you do, but Rowling could, and so could other HP fans, so respect is still important. If it’s not already clear, I strongly disagree with people who suggest fanfiction is disrespectful, so.

If you understand that your relationship is abstracted, and that you do not deserve any kind of reward for all the energy and love that you pour into it...then enjoy your parasocial relationship, because it is absolutely normative, human, and can bring great joy and meaning into your life. In fact, almost all of what I just said applies to reciprocal relationships, too.

#parasocial relationships #fandom #fanfiction #relationships #I have some more thoughts probably but here are these ones

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