#but it is so damn disheartening to see this shit over and over

[peaceheather]

Dear fic readers, don't fucking do this

A friend of mine found the following comment on her fic this morning:

I would really like to see you try harder. I know what you're capable of and I think you can do better. I've noticed a distinct slump in your writing over the past few years and it's so disheartening. You can do better, and you should.

For the record, this fic is essentially a fandom classic, and the author has been writing for over 20 years, so it's not like either of us are spring chickens, okay? So as a PSA, I'm sharing with you my response to that comment, because if you don't know this already, you really need to figure it out.

Hi, quick question, who the fuck do you think you are? An English teacher? The author's mom? A paid editor? Did anyone ask for your shitty opinion? I'm guessing not. Do you write? Do you have any idea how much effort goes into a FREE HOBBY GIFT, which you then arrogantly decided to shit all over just for, what, grins and giggles? Do you GRASP that authors have lives and other obligations and that they write for fun? Do you possess the self-awareness to clue in that you, with comments like these, suck ALL the fun out of what is meant to be a hobby? Do you want the author to just stop posting? Because shitty comments like this one are the reason that authors delete their fics, which you would then likely also bitch about, because you feel entitled to their work without paying for it via a little fucking COMMON COURTESY. The only person who can do better here is you. And you really, really should.

I don't usually get this hot, friends. I don't usually stoop to the commenter's level when they get this shitty. But I've seen GOOD AUTHORS chased off, not just from AO3 but from the entire hobby of writing forever, thanks to shitty attitudes like this. You are not entitled to my labor or anyone else's. You're not paying me in anything other than gratitude, and that gratitude is good for my mental health. Conversely, snotty abuse is bad for an author's mental health, and why would they want to keep writing if that's how you pay them for their work?

Entitled, shitty, "hot takes" on how much better you think my writing could be are not welcome if I don't explicitly ask for them, and that goes for literally every author you ever encounter. If they didn't ask, keep it to yourself, or better yet, contribute to fandom by writing your own stories.

Damn.

#about me #fanfic #rant

[the-dixon-effect]

Tomorrow, With Luck

requested by: @taylormarieee which you can find here -> masterlist

A/N: sorry this took so long my love!! jet lag is a bitch 😭

summary: Daryl gets jealous when he sees Spencer flirting with Y/N.

era: season 6, pre-Negan Alexandria

pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader, a little bit of Spencer x fem!reader not too much dw

words: 1.9k

"What's up with that Dixon dude?" asked Spencer, who sat beside you on a pristine white bench near the perimeter of the walls. He'd asked you if you wanted to 'hang out' later after spotting you on watch duty earlier. Since 'hanging out' wasn't really an activity that you had partaken in for a long while, you decided to accept, fully understanding Spencer's intentions but playing innocent, just for the fun of it. Unfortunately, conversation wasn't really flowing and... well, you had other things on your mind. You watched as Daryl strode down the picture-perfect lane, glancing over in your direction and giving Spencer that sultry, disdainful look. The one he adorned, sometimes indeliberately, when he just didn't like the look of someone.

"He's my friend. He's a really good guy, probably my best friend, actually," you said, not meeting his eyes but instead tapping your right foot against the floor and rubbing your fingertips together. Spencer turned his head slowly, following Daryl's figure as he advanced further down the road, as though he thought he was a predator stalking his prey.

"Yeah, I know what that means. My girlfriend back in prep school had a 'guy-best-friend'," he began, raising his hands to form air-quotes. "We were together for a year, then one day she just dumped me for him," That doesn't surprise you.

"Mhm," you hum in response. In truth, you didn't care what Spencer had to say, but you got the gist. Whatever. No one cares about a pretentious piece of shit who got dumped years ago. Besides, your priorities are halfway down the main oad, where a certain archer looks to be heading home.

"Anyway," he pauses and looks around, searching for something to fill the silence. "Hey, you and I should go on a run together sometime. I reckon we'd make a great team,"

"Yeah, totally. Listen, I've gotta head home, curfew, am I right?" you muster your best fake laugh. "See you around, Spencer,"

~

"Hey, Daryl!" you call out, a few paces behind him on the sidewalk. Crossbow slung over one shoulder and backpack over the other, you can tell he's just been out on a hunt. In an attempt to make conversation, you idly ask him if he caught anything, to which he responds with a characteristic grunt, which you take as a no. Damn, no venison for dinner. He ignores you for the rest of the walk home, and you can't help but feel a little disheartened as your pace on the sidewalk flows out of time with his. He's normally happy to see you. He doesn't like to show it, but you know that you've broken down his walls when that little smile of his creeps up on his face when you're near.

What you don't consider, however, are the thoughts swirling around in that mind of his. What the hell is she doing with that prick Spencer? Does she like him? Does she like him more than she likes me? Shut up man, you know she doesn't like you.

Daryl can hear his brother's voice mingling with his own regrets. Ya' gon' chase after her, lil' bro? Always liked the sweet ones, didnt'cha. Daryl decidedly ignores the cacophony of voices weaving in with his own, and, after a moment of silence, asks you this, "What were ya' up to with that Spencer guy?" His voice is rough and smoky, thick with contempt and disapproval as his tone drawls straight out of his chest. You wonder what he's thinking.

"We were just talking. Super annoying guy, wants to go on a run with me but if I ever said yes I think I'd die of boredom,"

Daryl's eyes seemed to widen at your statement as they disprove his former worries. "You got nothing to worry about, Daryl," you chuckle.

"Stop," he teases, lightly punching you on the arm. He's smiling at the ground, and at the same time, failing at hiding it from you. How much you loved that pretty smile of his, the one that was reserved just for you.

~

A week goes by of the same thing happening over and over again. Spencer stops you in the street, engages you in some dull exchange, and Daryl watches you with hawk eyes and razor-sharp scorn. It took him this long to realise that what he was feeling whenever you so much as spoke to another man was jealousy. He couldn't take much more of this, watching and internally combusting at the way Spencer was looking at you. It's time he got the message.

On the particular day that Daryl decided to drill it into Spencer's brain, he was stood next to you outside your shared home as he watched him stride down the concrete sidewalk. What a dick, he thought, loathing those perfect curls and arrogant saunter. Not that he stood a chance, anyway.

"Hey, Y/N!" he called out, with that dumb smile plastered across his face as usual.

"Hey, Spencer," you said, with a quiet sigh. You turned your gaze over to Daryl surreptitiously giving him a look that said 'sorry'.

"Y'know, I was thinking, the weather's perfect today for that run I mentioned," he was right, the weather was perfect, and the last thing you wanted was to spoil a perfect day by spending it in Spencer's company.

"That sounds great, but I actually already have plans today with Daryl," you mustered a fake frown and gestured to the man by your side. That was partly a lie, you didn't have any plans except maybe just laze around and chat with your best friend.

"Come on, Y/N, fall's nearly here and you know we won't get blue skies like this for months!" Spencer announced. Your brows furrowed and you were starting to have enough of being bothered by this guy. Luckily, the hunter by your side knew how to handle him.

"Listen man, she dun' wanna go with ya'. Jus' leave it alone," he said sternly. Daryl straightened up and approached the tall man, ready for conflict, knowing that if it came to it, he could beat this guy's petty ass into the ground.

"Oh really? Why don't you let the girl speak for herself? Do you wanna come, Y/N?" he asked. You pursed your lips, smirking and searching for Daryl's eyes letting him do the talking. You sure were enjoying him standing up for you.

"Nah. She don't. Now leave her alone," he drawled, fists clenching and eyes narrowing as his gaze fixed on his features, imagining how satisfying it would be to break that perfect nose of his.

"You know what?" Spencer looks side-to-side before bringing his fists up and landing a blow that Daryl conveniently dodges. If there's one thing that Daryl is best at, it's being observant. Knowing when someone's pissed off and predicting the exact moment that they'll pick a fight.

Before you can react, Daryl scoffs and nearly knocks Spencer's jaw right out of place, the blow so hard that he falls backwards and lands on the curb.

"Shit, Daryl... you knocked his fucking tooth out," you mumble, leaning over Spencer's figure on the ground in an attempt to hide your smirk at the way he was being so protective over you. Blood stains Daryl's knuckles and Spencer's lips as you suggest taking him to the infirmary. There is deafening silence as you stumble over to the makeshift hospital with one of his arms wrapped around both of your shoulders.

~

You spend the rest of the day in your bedroom trying to distract yourself from the earlier events. You weren't sure if Daryl was avoiding you or checking up on Spencer in the infirmary. Either way, you couldn't get your mind off the way Daryl had defended you earlier that day, even if his actions were a little aggressive. You found it undeniably attractive, and part of you wanted to hear him explain himself to you. Has he always felt this... possessive? Was he... jealous?

Placing your book down on the nightstand, you stand up to get a glass of water and notice a little piece of paper that had been slid under your door. You pick it up and open it without consideration, and immediately recognise the messy scrawl to be Daryl's.

Y/N,

I'm sorry. Didn't mean to embarrass you earlier. That prick got what he had coming, but if you don't wanna speak to me, I get it. There's just something you gotta know. I love you. I have for a long time, and I should've said it sooner. I'm thinking it might be a little late now, but, I just needed you to know. I really love you, Y/N. I'm sorry.

-Daryl

You audibly gasp at his sweet little note, and suddenly feel a pang of guilt for making him feel as if you didn't want to speak to him. Taking another look at the letter, you admire his handwriting for a moment. The way his capitals mingle with the lowercases, the way his 'S' is just a tiny sliver of black ink on the thin paper, and the way he signs his name so handsomely at the end. This might have been the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for you, you think. You race out of your bedroom and down the stairs to Daryl's basement, his most likely hiding place, you figured. Unsure of what to say to him, you knock on the door, just eager to hear his voice.

The door opens and you two just stare at each other like idiots in love, a wide smile plastered across your face as you hold up the piece of paper in the air. "Uhh- sorry," Daryl says softly, also unsure of how to continue.

"Daryl, it's fine- um," you stare at your shoes, searching for something to say. Though words are lacking, the air is not awkward, but warm with anticipation. "Is this because of Spencer? 'Cause if it is, I'm really sorry if I let that go on too long, and I'm sorry you had to.. step in, earlier," you sighed, meeting those blue eyes of his.

"No, no, dun' be sorry. I just.. didn't like the way he was looking at ya'," he drawls, maintaining eye contact.

"So you were jealous?" you dare to ask, your tone laced with the smirk painted on your lips.

"Pretty much, yeah," he gestures to the note in your hand. After a moment of silence, the tension is thick and it occurs to you that there is only one way to break it.

You step a little closer to him, interlacing your hand with his as he rests in the doorway, dropping the note on the floor. He's still gazing at you, now with a little smirk painting the curve of his thin lips. You lean into him, taking your free hand and placing it on his cheek and filling the distance between you. God, he's so beautiful. Before he returns the kiss, he traces a calloused thumb over your soft lips, so gently that you find it hard to believe that this is the same man that defended you with such hostility earlier that day. He closes the inch of distance between you and kisses you softly, one hand resting on the curve of your right hip and the other finding your nape underneath a bundle of your soft hair. You return the sweet kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and tangling your tongue in his mouth and picking up notes of cigarette smoke and evergreen forest.

You pull away, only briefly, resting your forehead against his and panting quietly. "Daryl, the note.. I think- I think I love you too,"

#brandy writes #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fluff #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl x you #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon twd #daryl imagines #daryl twd #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixion x reader #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl drabbles #daryl fanfiction #daryl fucking dixon #daryl the walking dead #daryl x y/n #twd daryl #the walking dead fanfic

[pancakes4two]

surprise surprise… here’s a part 2 for private!y/n 🫶🫶🫶🫶 thank you for all the love on the first blurb and for leaving so many sweet comments!

PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART | MASTERLIST | SEND ME A REQUEST

harryleaked

8,828 likes

harryleaked leaked photos from harry’s rumored girlfriend’s instagram.

posted yesterday with the caption: “mother, father & son”

View all 1,355 comments

harryfan1 you shouldn’t be spreading this around. delete it please before more people see

harryfan wait what happened

harryfan1 she accidentally accepted someone’s follow request. they’re spreading all the pics from her instagram on twitter now.

harryfan oh wow

harryfan4 yeah they’re def dating it’s over for us

harryfan3 DELETE

harryfan2 guys stop engaging with the post it’s only going to gain more traction if you do. dm the account if you want them to stop don’t like or comment

harryleaked

9,977 likes

harryleaked more photos from harry’s rumored girlfriend’s instagram.

posted this july with the caption: “the wait was worth it for this v v v belated valentine’s day date”

harry also commented: “Better late than never?”

View all 3,567 comments

harryfan1 wtf she has the prettiest smile

harryfan5 so it’s confirmed confirmed

harryfan6 this july… he had a show in paris… he took her on a date in the city of love…

harryfan7 UR SO RIGHT WTF WHAT A HOPELESS ROMANTIC

harryfan guys seriously stop bringing attention to it. i know this is a shock to everyone but we’re helping nobody by talking about it so publicly. especially since harry and her clearly don’t want their relationship to be public right now

rollingstone

156,739 likes

rollingstone What is it like navigating relationships as the most wanted man in the world?

Harry Styles speaks to Rolling Stone about love and privacy, two concepts that are frequently in contention for someone who has reached the level of stardom that he has.

“It can feel a little voyeuristic, at times. I think obviously at the end of the day, all anyone wants to do is to be able to love freely and openly. That’s harder to achieve when you’re under the scrutiny of the entire world. So, I like to keep parts of my relationship to myself. We basically built a wall of privacy that we could safely love each other behind. And while that isn’t ideal, it’s what works for us. Obviously, I think it goes without saying that it’s disheartening when people try to peel back the layers we’ve carefully constructed to protect our relationship.” He says, hinting at private photos that leaked online recently, which forced him to go public with girlfriend Y/N L/N.

Visit the link in our bio to read the full interview.

View all 20,473 comments

harryfan1 DAMN y’all need to apologize to him right now bc he’s neverrrrr called us out this openly before and we’ve done a lot of out of pocket shit historically. he’s MAD mad

harryfan why do i feel like i just got put in time out

harryfan3 EVERYONE SAY SORRY HARRY

harryfan2 like what did i say? harries can never just be serious and look what happened because of it

harrystan y’all don’t know common courtesy and got yelled at because of it LOL

harryfan9 another day of harries ruining everything

harryfan8 anyways… he looks so good in this pic

yournewinstagram

Liked by harrysnewfinsta, yourbff and 10 others

yournewinstagram ok girls let’s try this again 🫵🏻❤️‍🔥🎀⚡️🌈

View all 5 comments

yourbff BACK & MORE PRIVATE THAN EVER

yournewinstagram that’s the first and last time you’ll see me on enews

harrysnewfinsta Hey can you see my comment? Is this working?

yournewinstagram yes harry it’s working.

harrysnewfinsta Ha! Tech whiz Styles

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry styles social media #harry styles fic rec #harry styles headcanon #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff

[famwhy]

Desperation

Yandere Jason Dean (JD)

Word Count: 3,583

Ready to rekindle your love for Heathers the musical?

Your eyes crinkled in sympathy as you witnessed your good friend, Jamie, get completely ignored by his long-time crush, Veronica, in favour of her swooning over the new kid beating up two jocks.

Your legs carried themselves over to his pitiful form, a low whistle drawing out from your lips when you reached his side as you both gazed at the back of the infatuated teen.

"Damn, buddy, tough luck." You patted the nerd's back, watching his shoulders shrink further into himself. "How long have you liked her now? Couple o' years?"

He sighed. "Yeah."

Another low whistle. "And she just falls for that dude straight away? Dammmnnn, and I thought my luck was shit when I bet on black and lost half my savings."

"You bet on black? What type of idiot bets on black?" He rose a brow.

"The hell do you mean 'what type of idiot bets on black'?! It's a 50/50 chance! What type of idiot gets rejected by their crush without even confessing first?!"

Cue the disheartened expression returning to his face and you suddenly feeling like that wasn't the right time for that joke.

"Shit, dude. Too soon?"

Another sigh left his lips.

"Cheer up, man. I mean, he doesn't reciprocate the feelings right? Seemed like he didn't when they spoke a bit ago."

Your words caused his expression to light up again. However, it wasn't lit up out of relief, no, it was lit up with an idea. You did not like that expression of his one bit.

"Yeah!" He exclaimed brightly. "You're right! And he won't ever be able to if you charm him first!"

"Wha-?!" Your eyes widened as he trained his gaze on you with a grin so bright, it was blinding. "Hold on! I never agreed to be your guinea pig!"

"Come on, pleaassee." His fingers intertwined with one another as he begged you. "You still owe me for all that money you borrowed."

You glanced at the new kid one more time, taking in his looks and mannerisms to assess whether or not you had been given a good deal.

Oh, who were you kidding? Of course you got a good deal, in return for a thousand dollars, you just had to charm one guy and keep him away from a girl.

"Fine, I'll do it."

Jamie cheered, launching himself into you so that he could wrap his arms around your neck in an appreciative hug. "Thanks! You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah, you obsessed little freak." 

.

.

.

"Ah, shit." You cursed your luck.

Why exactly were you cursing your luck? Well, simple, because Veronica was about to make her way to the store the new kid was in so that she could pick up some snacks for the Heathers.

How did you know the new kid was in there? Let's just say you did a little... observing of his schedule.

The things people do to get out of debt.

Anyway, if they were in the same store, no doubt the new kid would approach Veronica out of interest from their earlier interaction.

You absolutely could not let that happen.

"What to do, what to do..."

You snapped your fingers, an imaginary bulb basically lighting up above your head.

"You sure you wanna get snacks from there, Veronica?" The brunette jumped as you approached her.

"Oh, Y/N, hey."

"'Sup."

"Sorry, uh, what was it you just said?" She looked a little confused. You didn't blame her, you never really approached her outside of school.

"I said, are you sure you wanna get snacks from that store, Veronica?"

"How did you-?"

"After all, you can't possibly be ready to face your bestie after what you just did to her right?" You sneered. "I can't imagine that bodes well with your subconscious."

Instantly, her expression faltered and her eyes filled with guilt. "I- I didn't..."

"Yeah, well, you did." You gave her a little glare. "And you can't be telling me you wanna see her again right after that. If I were you, I'd head to a different store."

"I-!" She looked ready to defend herself, but just one look at your scowl and she backed off. "Yeah, you're probably right."

With that, she turned on her heel and walked away, the atmosphere around her filling up with gloom.

Yikes, you may have overshot it there.

Oh well, Jamie could use that as an excuse to comfort her anyway.

You casted a glance to the shop, taking in a deep breath and praying your drama skills were good enough to get you through this. 

As you stepped through the doors, you immediately spotted your victim by the slushie machines. This caused you to, almost immediately, make your way over to him.

Once you were close enough, you acted like you were looking at the flavours, casting a sneaky side-glance his way to see he wasn't staring at anything in particular, before choosing your moment to strike.

"Y'know, for a new kid, you sure don't take shit from anyone."

Please work, please work, pleasework-

"Yeah? Well, you seem like the type to understand why." He smirked your way.

Holy shit- it actually worked.

"Greetings and salutations, my name's Jason Dean, though you can call me JD for short."

'Greetings and Salutations'? Dear lord, he's a weirdo-

"Y/N."

You reached out for his hand, shaking it firmly.

"Those were some good moves back there."

"Yeah?" He smirked your way. "You pick up on these things when you're constantly moving around."

"Ah, a parent's job?"

"Yup, my dad own a deconstruction company. You know the one on all those commercials where he goes-" he then proceeds to imitate the commercial you always saw on TV during every programme's commercial break.

"Must be tough moving so often, I could never imagine what it's like." Your head shook from side-to-side.

"Heh, yeah. I usually just stick to myself and refrain from making any bonds."

"How's that going for you this time around?" You sent him a knowing smile.

"Not too good so far." He reciprocated.

Okay, this conversation was moving at too much of a snail's pace for you. It was about time you sped things up.

"So, tough guy, you gonna ask me out or what?"

"So soon? Where's the fun in that?" JD's rough fingers ran through his hair, swishing his locks to the side as his grin never faltered.

"Oh," you slowly took a few steps towards him, basically swaying your hips as you closed the gap between the two of you, pressing your body up against his before speaking in a breathy whisper, "there's plenty of fun in that."

His eyes grew half-lidded as he slid an arm around your waist, the slushie in his other hand practically forgotten. "Oh yeah? Sounds great..."

"But-!" You slipped out of his grasp, sending him a cheeky wink and a suggestive smirk. "You're right, there's no fun in that."

His dazed expression didn't let up as you continued on your way out of the store, casting a last glance over your shoulder to confirm that he did, in fact, still have a cloudy expression.

Lo and behold, he was still out of it.

Hook, line, and sinker.

You're welcome, Jamie.

.

.

.

"So did you do it?" Jamie was the first to approach you after the end of your first period class, bouncing on his heels in excitement. 

"Only time will tell, dear friend." Your voice dropped an octave and your expression turned serious.

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means my master plan has yet to give me desired results because it's just started." You rolled your eyes, making your way to your locker with your folders tucked tightly into your chest. 

"Have they met then?"

"Of course not, I was very meticulous. All I had to do was play with that little snake's feelings and- oh!"

Your steps screeched to an abrupt halt, causing your friend to crash straight into your back and stumble back a bit.

"Why is your back so sturdy-?"

"MIKE! BUDDY! PAL! FRIEND-O!" You tossed your arm around the person that caught your eye, your grin feigning cheer. "How are you doing?"

"What do you want?" The playboy narrowed his eyes in your direction.

"Well, you see, I happen to-." You didn't even need to finish your sentence for his eyes to start widening and your own smile to turn sinister.

"Shit, I should've known you would've gotten a hold of it. Fuck! Look, man, I don't have money on me, please. Gimme a day, I swear I'll get you the money you need to feed that sick obsession of yours."

"You better." Your expression darkened. "Or you can say bye-bye to that new car your parents promised you."

He shuddered, immediately rushing off. 

After that interaction, you and Jamie continued towards your locker, this time in silence.

Well, that was until you reached it of course. Jamie decided that was the perfect time to speak.

"You're still doing this, Y/N? Don't you think it's a little... excessive? This addiction has really messed with your head."

"I love you, Jamie, I do-" you shoved your things into the empty space before you. "-but you need to know when it's time to butt out of business that isn't yours."

You slammed the locker shut, jumping slightly when you noticed the new form that stood there, leant against your neighbour locker. "You have a minute?"

You immediately brought your act up again. "Of course~."

It was then that JD's eyes trailed to your friend's, narrowing at the shorter male in clear distaste. "Alone."

"Ruh-right!" He rushed off without a second thought.

"My, oh my," the spotlight was placed back on you. "So harsh."

"You 'love' him, huh?" Though, his narrowed eyes stayed narrowed. 

"Jealous, are we, Mr Dean?" Your fingers trailed up his torso, gently tracing his muscles through the thin line of fabric separating skin-on-skin contact.

Your touch caused his breath to hitch in his throat, the familiar expression he wore yesterday returning to his face. "You know, I wouldn't mind you being called Mrs Dean."

"Woah-!" You quickly pulled your hands a way. "A bit too soon, don't'cha think?"

"Weren't you the one who said there's plenty of fun in that?" He smirked, dipping his head closer to your own.

Get the fuck away, you lil' sh-.

The familiar chime of the bell caused you to breathe a quiet sound of relief. 

Saved by the bell really is a thing.

"Well, looks like we have to continue this conversation later."

You went to move away but were stopped abruptly by a tugging force on your wrist. 

"Oh no you don't," your back met with a rather sturdy chest, "you're not getting away like that again. Let's ditch together."

You gritted your teeth, cursing yourself at that exact moment for not using blackmail on Jamie when it came to taking money like you did with every other student. Damn that boy for making you soft.

"Fine. Where'd you wanna go?"

"7-eleven." He grinned, turning around and starting to walk out of the premises with you in tow, grip on your wrist never faltering for even a second.

.

.

.

Once you arrived, he rushed over to the slushies, immediately buying two random flavours. 

"I didn't even tell you what I liked." You grinned in amusement as he gave you one. 

"Sometimes you gotta take risks in life y'know?"

"Okay, Mr. Bootleg Shakespeare."

He bowed with a little smirk. "In the flesh."

Okay, so that got a little chuckle out of you. He was still a weirdo though.

"So, I've heard quite a bit about you, y'know," he started off.

"Oh yeah?" You rose a brow. "Like what?"

"Like how... oh, I don't know, you're very keen on using blackmail to get what you want."

Almost immediately, your facial expression darkened.

"What's it to you?" 

"Nothing." He absentmindedly looked to the side. "I just find that really hot."

The drink came flying out your mouth. "I'm sorry- what?!"

"You heard me." He hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you in so close, you could feel his breath on your face. "I. Find. It. Really. Hot."

This guy was weird. Almost unnervingly so.

"Hm. Good for you." You slipped out of his grasp yet another time, sending him a playful smirk in response to his frown.

After that little interaction, you stopped speaking in favour of just hanging around in a comfortable silence.

Well... that was, until he spoke up once more.

"So, I've been thinking..." He trailed off. "Wanna be my girlfriend?"

"Hmm. Sure."

Had he not been so elated from the affirmation, you were sure he'd have realised how strange your response was.

.

.

.

Some time passed and you spent so much time with JD, you barely got to see Jamie anymore.

But judging by the way you passed him by once, with the emo boy walking beside you, and he sent you a grin as well as a thumbs up; he didn't mind. Veronica beside him though? Now, she definitely had a problem.

Oh well, that's on her, not you.

"Y/N!" Oh, was that Jamie just now? "Y/N!"

"Hey Jamie, I haven't- woah!" You cut yourself off when he launched himself at your arm, clutching you so tightly, you could've sworn he stopped your blood flow.

"Y/N! You need to leave the new kid!"

So much for him being happy about your new relationship.

"He-he's psycho!" Jamie was panting really hard. "He threatened me to stay away from you! You need to leave him!"

"Aren't you the one who wanted me to get with him in the first place?" You rose a brow, priorities obviously not straight.

"Yeah, that was before I found out he was a psycho!"

"But isn't it in your best interests to listen to his threats instead of warning me?"

"Y/N, you are literally asking all the wrong questions right now . JUST LEAVE THE-!"

"Leave what?" A new voice piped up, causing Jamie to jump out of his very skin.

"Uhhhh..."

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, it was JD.

"Oh, great!" You beamed, fixating his gaze onto you almost immediately. "You're just on time. I needed to talk to you."

Both men looked at you with surprise. "Oh? What-?"

"I'm breaking up with you." Your expression fell flat within the next second, cold gaze trained on his figure.

"Wha-?" His face fell, eyebrows creasing as it seemed like his whole world fell apart before him. "Why?"

"I'm just not feeling it anymore." You stared at your nails, pulling off the whole disinterested thing way too well. "It's not me, it's you. See ya."

You took to turning around and walking off- or, at least, you wanted to before he seized your wrist.

"Yuh-you can't do this to me, baby." His eyes were blown wide, pupils shaking in his desperation. "I love you."

His attempts to make you stay were starting to get annoying. "Really now? Shame. Looks like you'll have to move on."

You ripped your arm from his grasp, sending him a glare as you did so. His grip was tight but thanks to your sudden movements, you were able to free yourself.

After that, you wasted no time in leaving him behind, gesturing for Jamie to follow you as well. The boy took one glance at the heartbroken expression on the new kid's face before gulping and rushing after you.

.

.

.

Your footsteps echoed through the barren halls, the slurping of your slushie being the only other sound to accompany them.

The light of the moon was the only thing illuminating the hallways and keeping you from walking straight into a wall.

Why exactly were you at the school at night.

Well, you received a peculiar note when you got home from school earlier that day.

The contents?

Greetings and salutations darling,

I love you. I know you love me too. We are meant to be. The only reason you left me is because of that asshole who calls himself your friend. He's keeping you away from me. He made you blind, messed up your mind but I can set you free!

Meet me at the school tonight, your class. I'm waiting.

Yours forever and always,

JD

Now, you could fully ignore this note and just go about your life as normal, not even considering giving JD the time of day.

But...

He successfully caught your interest.

You were bored and your gambling addiction couldn't be satiated so you found temporary reprise in this little meeting.

Plus, there was always the fact that this was potential blackmail material-.

Your train of thought was halted when you reached the door of your homeroom, left hand leaving your pocket to push on the handle, swinging it open with a look of nonchalance.

Inside, you were greeted with quite the sight to behold.

Standing above a puddle of crimson, the lifeless eyes of your former good friend looking up at you in a permanent expression of horror.

Your lips parted from the straw as a low whistle drew out from them. "Damn, buddy, always did have such rough luck." 

"No thanks to you." The chuckle of a boy dressed in dark clothing reached your ears. "Oh babe, I find it so fucking hot that you didn't even fucking flinch at this."

His lips grazed your ear, shaky breath hitting you at uneven intervals as one of his arms looped around your waist and pulled you into his chest, the other reaching for your left hand and intertwining each of your fingers with his own. 

"Shit..." He spoke breathily. "Let's fuck up the world together, baby."

BONUS! FEAT. VERONICA AND THE HEATHERS

Veronica's blood boiled in her veins as she watched your fingers graze the arm of the new kid she was crushing majorly on, teeth gritting as he seemed to fall in a deeper pit of his own infatuation for you.

"Hey," she spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper but her anger incredibly apparent. "Do you guys think we could... screw with Y/N somehow?"

"Y/N?" One of the Heathers spoke up, her hands adjusting the mascara on her eyes with a look of total concentration. "Why?"

"Because she stole the emo boy Veronica has a major crush on." Giggled the other two.

"Well," Heather Chandler scoffed. "I'm afraid we can't touch Y/N."

"Why not?"

"Oh, Veronica, you sweet, dumb, little girl." The brunette shook her head from side-to-side. "You've never come across her bad side."

"SHUT UP, HEATHER!" Chandler screamed at the girl clad in a green blazer before clearing her throat. "I'm telling Veronica."

The other girl whimpered out an apology.

"Anyway," the blonde rolled her eyes, "Y/N is a no-go for targeting. That girl has every dirty secret ever known to the whole school. Getting on her bad side is not just social suicide, it's real suicide."

"Real?" Veronica tilted her head to the side, attention now on the leader of the group.

"Yeah, do you remember Hailey?" 

Veronica rose a brow. "Who's Hailey?"

"Exactly."

The Heather with the yellow colour-scheme piped up. "She tried setting Y/N up to be jumped by a bunch of jocks but they told Y/N about her plans because she had dirt on them."

"What happened then?" 

"...she got rid of her." The blonde cut in once more. "Y/N got rid of Hailey, completely. She's a dangerous woman."

"A dangerous woman addicted to gambling. It's why she even has blackmail on everyone to begin with, so that she can take people's money and gamble it all away."

"Wow." 

"I know."

EXTRA BONUS! FEAT. JAMIE AND JD

Jamie had noticed some things. 

First of all; he, himself, was being noticed increasingly more. Although, not by the person he wants to or in the way he would like it to be.

JD, the new kid, was the one noticing him more. 

He would glare at the shorter male whenever he approached you. Fists clenched so hard he drew blood.

Something about the kid was fishy.

And this just confirmed it.

"I'm sorry- what?"

"Stay away from my Y/N." JD repeated himself, hand reaching into his pocket to pick out- was that a switch-blade?! 

"What the fuck?!"

"She's mine. I will kill you if I found out you disobeyed my orders."

'Disobeyed his orders' who the hell did he think he was? The fucking King?

Jamie needed to warn you; and fast.

Writing 'commercials' instead of 'adverts' is so weird-

Also, I had to slip in a few iconic lyrics y'all can't blame me-

In case you didn't notice, Reader's a bit of a sociopath in this. Thought it would be nice to change it up a bit.

#jason dean #heathers #yandere #yandere male #yandere x reader #x reader #female reader #yandere male x female reader #yandere oneshot #yandere jd #heathers jd #heathers jason dean #jason dean x you #jason dean x reader

[neomedievalistbr]

good god i hate gacha games

every new month there will a new ultra popular gacha game (this time there were 2! limbus and honkai [again]!), everytime ppl will play them, everytime after a certain amount of time ppl will grow tired of them and notice how it's affecting them negatively, theyll get too addicted to it and end up playing it too much or will spend money on it

and everytime damn time someone comes out of it after getting completely fucked over and says "guys please stop playing this game its literally doing bad for yall" and they'll get harassed bc theyre speaking against a largely "neurodivergent and q*eer fandom" or whatever

ppl will always get addicted to these games bc theyre made for it. limbus is no different, the difference is that ppl are Much more defensive over it bc of its "good story" "no fanservice" "actually well written female characters"

(its always the same shit. arknights is the same thing too)

the game has a system that forces ppl to keep replaying it for HOURS (but not too much, bc then youll lose interest) just for you to play the main story, fail and have to wait a whole day to repeat the process

or just spend money to make it go by much faster

but its not that bad, obviously! bc project moon is "incompetent"

which is my most HATED adjective to any company

theyre not "incompetent" they have full knowledge of what theyre doing (THEIR GAMES ARE LITERALLY ABT THAT) youre just incredibly stupid and prefer to look the other way while ppl are starting to go in debt trying to spend more

its actually disheartening to see so many stupid ppl coming together to defend companies that actively hate them and just leech off of them.

in conclusion:

gacha fans try not to defend that terrible capitalist company challenge (impossible)

#yumuda.txt #copypasted directly from discord dms #so if theres spelling mistakes here? not my problem

[bazzybelle]

Good Omens 2 and Wayward Son - A Fan's Commentary on Fandom Reactions

I’m going to start off by saying apologies for any obvious grammatical errors. I am writing purely from the heart here. 

Also, apologies to my Sandman friends. If you haven’t read The Simon Snow Trilogy, this will go over your heads. However, I have been going back and forth on writing this meta since the release of Good Omens 2, and I just finished reading a spectacular meta on queer ships becoming canon by @avelera, which you can find here (read it, it’s brilliant). Anyway, I feel now’s a good time to let out all of my feelings when it comes to Good Omens 2 and how similar it was to reading Wayward Son. 

Simon Snow friends, you all know that Wayward Son is my favourite book out of the trilogy. You also know that this can be considered a controversial take within the fandom. And I don’t mean that in a toxic way, this fandom is one of the more wholesome fandoms I’ve seen; But in the way of like… Wayward Son is itself a polarizing book. 

I say this, knowing full well what went down when Wayward Son was released. Perhaps I had the advantage of not being completely embroiled within the Simon Snow  fandom until after I’d finished reading the book, but I lived on the periphery. I followed Rainbow on Twitter (fuck you, I am not calling it X), I had saved some artwork on Pinterest (before I found out those were stolen, wherein I immediately unpinned them and deleted my fandom folders), and I was excited to get Wayward Son as soon as it came out. So much so that I asked my husband to go to the Indigo near his office and buy it because I wanted to read it right away. 

Friends, I demolished that book within a DAY. 

Then I read it again. And again. And again. 

Then I wrote my first fanfiction in eight years. 

This book changed me. But you all know that. I’ve talked about it often, and that’s not what this meta (Editorial? Opinion piece? Shouting into the void?) is about. 

What I am going to talk about is the amount of pure vitriol this book got once it was released. There was SO MUCH complaining about the book. It was too short! There was no point to it! Why aren’t Simon and Baz having sexy vampire sex? Why aren’t they living together (never mind that this was briefly discussed at the end of Carry On, but go off I guess)? 

And you know what’s even funnier? Within a couple of weeks (it might have even been days, I’m a little fuzzy on timelines) Rainbow announced the third book. We knew, right away, that Wayward Son was meant to be an in-between book! Rainbow, being a fandom person herself, has said time and time again that she had always considered Wayward Son as an in-between book, structured like The Empire Strikes Back within the Star Wars original trilogy. Like think of the in-between books of any series, they are ALWAYS the darkest ones. In order to fully appreciate the win in the end, you need to go through the tough shit. 

What I loved about Wayward Son was it took that idea and spun it. It went all “ok, yeah we dealt with the win, now let’s deal with the aftermath. Only then can we have the makeouts and sexy times these guys deserved.”  (and damn, did Any Way The Wind Blows deliver on that promise).

But I am getting away from myself again. Point is, it was always meant to be an in-between book. There was always meant to be a resolution at the end of the trilogy. But that sure as hell didn’t stop people from outright demanding Rainbow give them the happy ending NOW. Pestering her on Twitter, (not so much on Tumblr) demanding she do this, or do that, or “you better not kill Baz” (even though she has ALWAYS SAID SHE NEVER WOULD) or “they better not break up” (even though, narratively, it was heading in that direction). The closer the book got to release date, the more people complained about how awful Wayward Son was. 

It was really disheartening to see. 

Which is why I got really upset when the SAME THING happened after the release of Good Omens 2. 

(For clarification purposes, because several of my friends have spoken to me about their own personal issues with Good Omens 2. And you are all super fucking valid. I am strictly referring to the amount of anger I saw online because although Aziraphale and Crowley kissed, they didn’t have an immediate happily ever after. I am also speaking of the anger expressed because the season wasn’t wrapped up in a neat little bow.)

Like with the release of Wayward Son, people seemed to have forgotten that season 2 of Good Omens was meant to be an inbetween season. Neil Gaiman has not been shy to talk about that. He has said over and over again that Season 2 was always meant to be a bridge between the Good Omens he and Terry Pratchett wrote together, and the sequel they had been planning. 

What… did you all just forget about that? Do you not know how narrative writing works? 

It’s like people refused to take a step back and breathe for a second and appreciate the season for what it was. A beautiful romantic story (because, IT WAS! Just like Neil said it would be), as well as a lead up into what will be the epic, dramatic conclusion. No, instead people started demanding the happy ending NOW, and getting angry when Neil wouldn’t budge and offer more information (even though he never has before) (funny how people just… forgot that).

It was Wayward Son all over again.

Yeah, I’m not going to lie, I was crushed with the way Good Omens 2 left off. Just like I was so confused when Wayward Son ended out of the blue. You know what I did about that? I wrote fic, I read the book again, and I happily anticipated the upcoming final part that would tie up all the loose ends.

Know what I’m doing to heal after Good Omens 2? I’m looking at gifs, rewatching episodes, laughing at memes and crack, and hoping to all the gods of story writing that Amazon approves of a third season, so that Neil Gaiman can be allowed to finish the story he and Terry Pratchett built together.

It’s become sad to watch this feral hunger from fans demanding immediate gratification, and getting upset when it isn’t the ending or gratification they were expecting. Wayward Son came out after years of Carry On fans having nothing else but the one book. Like I said, I wasn’t part of the fandom then, so I don’t know how fans from 2015 felt upon learning they’d get more Simon and Baz. Same with Good Omens. I only really got into the fandom a few months before season 2 came out. So I don’t know how OG fans felt waiting and waiting and waiting. So maybe I have that going for me as an advantage, that my hunger wasn’t growing more and more feral. 

Then again, I’m now a part of The Sandman fandom, and we’re essentially waiting on Season 2 to start development. And while I’m hoping a few things are tweaked (like Dream and Hob’s relationship), I’d be more than fine if it stays the same as in the comics. And if they decide to go about that in an entirely different way, I’d be fine with that too. You know why? Because I’ve learned to trust the writers of the stories I love not to lead me astray. 

And if I’m unhappy with something –because nothing is ever 100% perfect, and even my favourite stories end up coming short– there are always fanfictions to write, gifs to laugh at, and fandom friends to discuss plots and meta with. 

I may have lost the point of this meta. I tend to do that, following a train of thought that doesn’t always make sense in the end. 

Fandom friends, can we all just agree to take a breath and be thankful of the stories given to us? Can we learn to appreciate the entire picture, and not just a tiny section of it? And for the love of all that is holy, can we learn to be patient and to listen when our story tellers remind us to wait and see? To trust them when they assure us that our characters will have a happy ending, even if they need to traverse a little in the dark to get there?

I sure as hell am, and I hope you will too. 

Gonna tag @carryonsimoncarryonbaz because she was instrumental in encouraging me to write this.

#belle babbles #more like belle shouts into the fandom void #GO2 just reminded me A LOT of Wayward Son #both with the fan reaction #and with the overall vibes #I may write another longer better thought out meta comparing the two #but for now I just wanted to get my initial feelings out #as a fan who loved both WS and GO2 #who was very sad to experience this nonsense twice #simon snow #baz pitch #the simon snow trilogy #snowbaz #wayward son #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens 2 #neil gaiman #rainbow rowell

[ave661]

It’s literally so disheartening to see people time and time again removing your watermarks. I see it happen to render folks on here all the time and as frustrating as it is to see, I can imagine it’s even more frustrating for you all.

Is there something we as your followers can do to help with this issue? I would really really hate to see you give up on this hobby because of some idiots on tiktok or Pinterest.

I'll be honest with you all - I'm tired. I think my patience is done and I need a little break.

I'm sick of being treated like shit. I'm sick of sitting on my ass for hours doing something I love, only to have it stolen the same day…I'm fucking tired. I really wanted to share with you all what I do on my Patreon. And I was damn proud of it. But this….? This one got me good.

Just a week ago the same thing happened to me. AND. IT. KEEPS. HAPPENING. This is my 4th time only IN THIS MONTH(i mean seeing my renders with my watermarks removed)

And it's getting worse. There are so many accounts now that just post stuff from other artists and no one cares. They get over 200K likes and I never see comments about original artists.

So be annoying, tag artists, leave comments and don't encourage them by giving them likes. Because this is all they care about.

#dw i'm not done with renders #see ya on P

[spgothkidsheadcanons]

Hi Again!

Sorry I’m making another request I REALLY love your writing lol but what do the goth kids react when you show affection someone else infront of them

Also again sorry for asking more I really loved the Lolita goth one you made because I requested dir I was very happy I kept on stimming with joy

＼(⁀▽⁀ )／

Hello Friend! I’m so happy my writing brings you so much joy! Don’t ever feel bad about requesting anything, I love these kinds of asks!

I’m sorry this took so long to write, but I take Saturdays and Sundays off from writing so I don’t get writer’s block!

I hope you enjoy it! I didn’t write a romantic portion for Firkle because even though I’ve aged them all up, he’s still a minor in my headcanons.

Without further ado

Goth Kid Jealousy Headcanons:

Platonic:

Michael:

- Michael doesn’t necessarily get upset when you show affection to other people

- He knows that you have other friends or an S/O

- Plus, as a friend, he’s not really a hug kinda guy

- So when you two are hanging out and you’ve dragged him to go shopping with you, he doesn’t get disheartened if you happen to run from him for a few minutes to go talk to someone else you know

- He just stands off to the side until you come running back over

- It does scare him because he thinks you’re gonna leave him to go hang out with someone else

- But just reassure him that you’re not gonna leave him like that, and everything will be A-Okay!

Henrietta:

- Henrietta is also not an touchy person

- But, she does get attached faster than the others do, so her jealousy comes out of left field sometimes

- If you happen to see one of your other friends while you’re out with Henrietta, you’ve learned to just wave at them from afar instead of rushing over to go speak with them

- Henrietta really does feel bad for making you feel like you can’t go say hi, but she’ll never admit that it makes her jealous when you turn your attention away from her

- Hell, if you had brothers or sisters, you couldn’t even hug your siblings without her boring holes into the back of their head

- It doesn’t take long for her to get over it, though. She’s working on it, you just can’t mention it or else she’ll argue that she’s not jealous

Pete:

- Pete’s a clingy little shit

- He likes hugs, platonic hand holding, anything that involves being close and near you

- He’s had a lot of friends that just left him in the past, so when you came along and managed to stick, he damn aure was gonna make sure you stayed

- So don’t be surprised if you guys are walking around town, and you see someone else you know

- You run over, giving your other friend a hug and catching up for a minute before returning back to your pock-marked friend

- And Pete is just angrily staring at you, giving you a passive aggressive attitude immediately upon your arrival

- He’ll complain for a bit, but gets over it after about an hour or two of huffing and puffing

- Poor guy will be the death of you

- (Maybe intentionally 😬)

Firkle:

- Firkle doesn’t show it, but he is also a clingy little shit

- He rarely shows emotion for anything

- Except that one time you unintentionally had another guest when he came over

- So you both had gone over to your house for the weekend and your cousin had unexpectedly come over

- You saw Firkle everyday, and only saw your cousin once in a blue moon

- So you didn’t end up spend all of your time with just Firkle, instead inviting your cousin to do whatever it was you and Firkle had planned to do

- He did not like that whatsoever, so with a few thinly veiled threats to your cousin while you weren’t around, you were shocked when your cousin stopped their visit short and went home

- You shrugged it off, going back to Firkle, none the wiser that his jealousy was the reason that they had left

Romantic:

Michael:

- Jealousy is practically this guy’s middle name if you’re in a relationship with him

- He doesn’t want you looking at anyone, doesn’t want anyone looking at you, doesn’t want you talking to anyone, yadda yadda

- He always brushes it off, claiming that he is not jealous and that you can do whatever the hell you want

- So when you tease him by saying things like “Oh, so you wouldn’t mind if I hung out with (whoever you want to put here lmao) today instead of you?”

- You gained joy in watching his jaw clench as he basically forced himself to shake his head

- He feels bad quickly if he sees you giving attention to someone else, so please give him a smooch and hold him closely

- Tell him you love him and you’ll never love anyone else and he relaxes into putty

- Don’t break his heart please, I don’t think he can take it!!

Henrietta:

- Remember when I said she was a jealous friend?

- Well… Good luck to you being in a relationship with her

- She’s so super clingy and she doesn’t care if it shows

- If she notices you looking at someone else for even a second too long, she’s planting kisses on your hand, your shoulders, intertwining her arm with yours, doing everything she can to not-so-subtley claim you

- She loves to give you hickies or mark you everywhere with her lipstick without your knowledge

- You can’t grocery shop without people looking at you weird for having purple lipstick marks on your forehead and cheeks

- Henrietta knew they were there before you left, neglecting to tell you and feigning innocence when you come into your shared homewith your cheeks ablaze, embarrassment taking over you

- She’s such a stinker 🙄

Pete:

- Don’t even think about looking at someone else behind his back

- He always finds out.

- Always. Finds. Out.

- And you pay for it when he invites you over and you don’t get to leave for up to 3 weeks.

- Of course he doesn’t force you to stay, but he’s so good at guilt tripping that you can’t say no.

- He’s sweet and insecure, please don’t hurt him

- He’s been hurt so many times in the past, please just hug him tightly and let him cuddle with you to his heart’s content.

- He just loves you a lot and he doesn’t want you to leave him for someone who he thinks is actually worth your time

- Give him a big ol forehead smooch and reassure him as much as you need to. He’s tender, just love on him

#sp goth kids #south park goth kids #south park michael #sp fanfiction #south park headcanons #south park firkle #south park henrietta #sp firkle #sp henrietta #sp michael #south park pete #sp pete #sp pete x reader #sp henrietta x reader #sp michael x reader #sp firkle x reader #south park fanfictions #south park reader insert

[pascalishere]

Ok, here are some thoughts on Death Grips, cause I forgot earlier whoops

I’ve been feeling some latent frustration with how I see a lot of people online engage with their music. I don’t mean to be some kind of elitist about this, but a lot of the (deserved) praise that I see them getting feels kind of…detached? It’s almost always coming from the kind of “woah, this music is crazy…but it works somehow?” mindset. I know I’m absolutely making a strawman argument here, but I’ve seen it enough times to where I feel like it’s not just a person I’m making up in my head to be mad at.

I feel like some people don’t get that DG isn’t good in spite of the “insanity”, they’re good because of the “insanity”. And I’ll admit, a lot of their music can be quite alienating! They use lots of abrasive textures, MC Ride’s performances can get very intense, it’s all a lot. But I feel like there are tons of moments of sheer beauty within DG’s discography. The riff from Centuries of Damn comes to mind, it’s so tired and desperate sounding, it’s incredible.

Hearing the incredible art that DG puts out is great, but to see a lot of people in it for the pure spectacle is a little disheartening. And I’m not trying to claim to be the only one who really gets Death Grips, at least I hope I’m not. I just really only see people talk about how crazy they are instead of how flat-out good they are.

Like, each member of DG itself is so talented!

Ride’s ability to channel that much visceral feeling into his performances is impressive on its own, it’s a miracle his throat hasn’t completely given out yet. But it feels so shitty to pigeonhole his style into “Funny homeless man screaming”. First of all, that’s just fucking rude. Second, that’s so reductive! Screaming isn’t all he does, he’s a really damn versatile performer! I never feel like he’s phoning it in or reusing a vibe, he does exactly what needs to be done, every single track. Lots of the most memorable moments of DG’s music are when Ride drops the yelling, and just talks. It’s chilling every time. Plus, his ability to keep a consistent flow over the off-kilter production is a feat all on its own.

Speaking of which, I think Andy Morin might be one of my favorite music producers right now. Right up there with Arca, Patricia Taxxon, Nigel Godrich, that real legendary shit. Like Ride, it never feels like I’m hearing the same thing twice. Each DG track sounds and feels so distinct, even while keeping within the general industrial, electronic, and punk sound palettes. Even my least favorite DG project in terms of production, NLDW, never ever felt lazy or unfinished. I think it’s an excellent project, I just don’t personally enjoy it as much as other DG albums, for very superficial reasons. On projects I prefer more, I still strongly feel that he’s very skilled at creating unique sounds, while still maintaining a sense of familiarity within the outlandish production.

Regarding Zach Hill, I think his drumming speaks for itself. Like, watch any video of a live Death Grips performance. That man goes absolutely ham on the drums, every single time. It’s a wonder he hasn’t snapped his wrists more often. Admittedly, he is the DG member I have the least to say about. I tend to get lost in the electronic elements of most DG tracks, I don’t pay as much attention to the drumming. I also have yet to check out Hella, but I’ve heard nothing but good things about them. Moving forward, I’m definitely going to try to keep my ears open to what he’s doing while the other elements of the tracks pass me by. I’m certain I’ll find something incredible.

Put together, they’re easily one of the most unique and consistently astonishing bands ever. I say that with my full chest. I don’t know, I just really like them! Sorry for the rambling, I just wanted to get all of this out there. Bottom line, Death Grips Good.

#pascal barks #music #death grips #mc ride #andy morin #zach hill #hella #no love deep web #the powers that b #jenny death #arca #patricia taxxon #nigel godrich #radiohead #analysis? question mark? #art #long post

[kaeyazuha]

Can I get a Venti, “And you believed them?” w/ a touch of angst? (romantic please ^^)

Tysm and have a great day~!! <3

cw: mentions of cheating/false accusations, strong language, drunk behavior

angst w/ no happy ending (or a vague ending? idk)

He reeked of alcohol. Hair skewed about and messy, eyes reddened and droopy, even the way he carried himself practically screamed "drunkard." You groaned under your breath at his antics, yet you couldn't help but be concerned. Sure, Venti loved his alcohol, but almost never to the extent of completely losing himself. Even after the longest days, he could still carry a tune or keep up in his daily banter, but now-- ouch.

You winced, watching him fall off the barstool and decline help from those kind enough to offer. Letting out another sigh, you walked over to help him up, but recoiled when he slapped your hand. "Venti??" Came your understandably confused reply, maybe he didn't recognize you?

Seeming oddly aware despite his slurring and swaying, Venti glared at you. "Go away, cheater." Your heart sunk at the disgusted, betrayed expression on his face, it was almost sickening to see the lighthearted bard look so disheartened.

"What are you talking about? Come on, you've had too much to dri-"

"You don't get to tell me what to do! Not after what you did, do I mean nothing to you?!" Now you were angry, watching the light conversation and bustle of the tavern came to a standstill, the lively atmosphere falling victim to your argument.

"I'll ask you one more time before I leave the tavern, what the hell are you talking about?!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!" His voice cracked from the sheer volume. "Everyone saw you with Kaeya, everyone saw! Unlike you, they actually told me what was going on!" He scoffed, taking another drink as hot tears bubbled in his eyes. "You...lied to me." Another swig before his voice took on a mocking tone. "'Commissions'...can't believe I fell for that."

You could hardly see through the boiling rage clouding your eyes and causing an uncomfortable pounding in your head. "They told you this shit, and you believed them?" In order to hide your shaking hands, you crossed your arms and glared at him incredulously. "Kaeya's in Liyue right now in a business meeting, and I was doing commissions all fucking day because you and your 'friends' are too lazy to take care of your own damn city!" His face fell, eyes seeming a lot more alert now, and Venti set down the mug to look at you fully.

Tears dripped from your eyes now, hot and heavy much like the air of the tavern. "I'm thinking it's you who didn't care. You believed some drunkards over your own lover, and you were willing to throw everything away because of it..." Too tired to yell anymore, you swallowed back all of the nasty things you wanted to say right now, and simply slipped your coat back on before brushing past the bard at the door and opening it for yourself. It was hard to ignore the quiet and hesitant, extremely guilty-sounding pleas coming from your drunk excuse of a boyfriend.

"Talk to me when you're sober. Or don't, I can't say I'll forgive you either way." You turned back, well-aware of how everyone either pretended they weren't listening or watched the both of you with eager, disgustingly eager eyes. As if this were a rom-com.

"Goodbye, Venti."

Give me a genshin character, a prompt, specify platonic or romantic, and I'll write you a lil drabble!

#this...was NOT a drabble i'm so sorry- i got carried away #nor was it a 'touch' of angst i'm SO sorry again- #this was a lot of fun! #thank you sm <33 #kywrites #venti x y/n #venti angst #venti hcs #venti headcanons #venti drabble #venti the bard #venti x reader #genshin angst #genshin hcs #genshin drabble #genshin x reader

[lokisninerealms]

You Got A Little Something

Summary: It’s the Asgardian brothers first time trying the ever-so-famous, McDonald’s. And of course, the God of Mischief always has a few teasing tricks up his sleeve.

Paring: Loki x F!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, Loki being a little shit

A/N: all the mcdonalds pics and this is what my brain came up with, thanks @lokisgoodgirl for always supporting my wild ideas <3

taglist: @lokiprompts @vbecker10 @michelleleewise @wheredafandomat (just a couple people i thought might be interested)

MASTERLIST

“Does anybody in this damn tower ever go food shopping?” Bucky yelled, his head peeking over to look towards the couch of Avengers.

A series of ‘no’s’ and ‘why don’t you go do it’ erupting from the large wrap-around sofa. Bucky huffed in annoyance, slamming the door shut before he plopped down next to you. You lazily browsed the channel selection, click after click on the remote, finding nothing.

A crowd of Earth’s mightiest heroes lingered in the living room. Natasha laid across from you, her feet propped up on Steve’s lap and her head on Wanda’s. While Bruce sat with his computer, typing away whatever project Stark coaxed him into doing. Sam and Loki were next to him, the Asgardian too preoccupied in his reading.

Feeling the Gods wandering eyes, every now and then he would look up towards your way. Catching his blue-green ones on you, hardly missing the smile that crept on his face. You relished in the attention he gave you but still found yourself yearning for him to finally make his move. Disheartened by the idea of him never returning your feelings. You focused your attention back to the screen. 

Totally oblivious to how long you had zoned out until you heard commotion from behind you. Bucky shooting up from his spot next to you. His shouts filling the room.

“You fucking idiot, those are my chips,” Bucky shouted.

“I don’t happen to see your name on them, tin man,” The muffled voice of the other Asgardian munching.

Stifling a laugh, you turned your head watching as the Winter Soldier and God of Thunder got into it. Face to face arguing over a bag of potato chips. Thor’s fist close to plummeting Bucky’s face until Tony’s voice boasted.

“Hey hey woooaah, relax Thunder Pants, I come bearing burgers and fries,” tossing a couple brown McDonald’s takeout bags on the counter. Sam and Clint following shortly behind him with two more.

Standing up, you rushed over feeling your stomach grumble. Everyone crowding around as they dug into the take out bag, Nat tossing a burger your way. The younger Asgardian gently moving around you, a hand on your waist. Sending a wink your way while blush flushed your cheeks. Unwrapping the paper, the touch of oils and scents of freshly cooked meat filling your nose.

“What’s a…..Mac…McDonalds?” Thor asked, scrunching his eyes as he tried to read the paper bag.

“Only the best burger joint in existence,” Steve replied, humming as he took a bite out of his own burger.

A couple heads from the group nodding in agreement, Thor speaking up again. “This…this is good! Brother!”

Loki’s eyes moving from watching you to his oaf of a brother, rolling his eyes. Thor stuffing his face with the cooked patty covered in a bun, lettuce, tomatoes and other condiments. “What do you think? Asgard should grant having one of these….MacDonalds!“

“I’m not overly fond but it’s decently cooked ,” Loki shrugged. Taking another bite that you couldn’t help but watch, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down when he swallowed.

Your eyes meeting Loki’s suggestive smirk as he caught you staring at him. Scrutinizing his wet tongue that dart out to wrap around his lips, collecting a few crumbs and drops of ketchup that had fallen.

Unaware that you had dribbled some of your own ketchup, the God stalking his way towards you. Before he stood awfully close to you, peering down as he took his thumb. Slowly running it across your lip to the little side of your cheek.

“You got a little something,” Loki teased.

Pushing his thumb to open your mouth, lips wrapping around them while you slowly sucked. Tomato on your taste buds. Lokis eyes never leaving yours.

Turning away from the very hot moment you shared. Red blush making its way to your cheeks again, flustered by his bold movements. You quickly moved to stand by Stark, who talked Bruce’s and Clint’s ears off with his latest project.

“After we’re done, do you want to meet in the training room for a quick session? Wan is coming too,” Nat asked, her hand on your shoulder. Leaning your hand on the counter for support.

“Yea, I’ll just meet you gu-“

“Shit…..Sorry little one, didn’t see you standing there.”

Cool liquid from the ketchup spilled on your breasts. The black tank you wore pushing them up slightly, alluding to a bigger cup size. You glared up at Loki, his blue-green ones glinted in mischief as he held the tiny packet in hand.

“I swear it’s always something new in this tower,” Bucky mumbled.

Everyone’s eyes suddenly on you both, Loki exchanging the packet for a fry. Gently dipping it on your ketchup covered chest, popping it into his mouth.

“Mmmm….delicious, have you tried these dear? They taste absolutely scrumptious,” Loki hummed.

His lips lowering to whisper in your ear, “Just like how I imagine you taste except…..sweeter.”

You clenched your thighs together, eyes almost bulging out of your eye socket. A small pool of arousal starting to sink it’s way between. Head turning to look up at the God, still oblivious to the various looks sent your way.

A cough startling you, Natasha interrupting any further thoughts, “I’m going to head to the training room now.”

Everyone giving you both one last look, Loki’s cologne lingering in your senses. Moving to make your own way towards the training room, his cool fingers stopping you.

“Meet me in my room when you’re done.” His breathed in your ear, sending a chill down your spine.

Your eyes meeting his one last time before he grabbed another fry, dipping it in between the curve of your breasts. His finger also slipping in the process to swipe against the flesh collecting the remaining sauce.

Sticking his finger into his mouth, sucking the tomato off before making a pop sound. Giving you one last wink.

#loki god of mischief #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki (marvel) #mcu loki #loki x reader #loki x reader smut #loki x reader angst #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki fic recs #loki fiction #loki fic #loki x female reader smut #loki x female reader #loki x oc #loki x original female character #marvel fanfiction #mcu imagine #mcu fanfiction

[awetistic-things]

I recently tried to hint at a friend that I’m pretty certain I have adhd (didn’t mention how I also am pretty damn sure I’m also autistic bc ~scared~) my friend herself has adhd & her sibling is autistic. She immediately shut me down saying that my symptoms don’t automatically mean I have adhd. She also mentioned how she can always tell when someone else is also neurodivergent & she’s certain I’m not.

That cut deep but also made me mad at her. Instead of being supportive she made me feel like shit. & scared to ever mention it to anyone again (even tho I’ve done a shitton of research & when I began seeing more BIPOC autistic ppl talk about their experience I knew that was me)

sorry if this isn’t the space to say all this but your blog always brings me comfort so it’s ok if you’re not in a headspace to want to answer this. just felt like venting 🫶🏽

hi !!

i’ve seen a lot of neurodivergent people be extremely defensive and become gatekeepers whenever someone so much as mentions the possibility of them being neurodiverse (especially with adhd and autism) to them

i think that the whole social media trend of people “faking” being adhd or autistic has caused an extensive amount of damage to the neurodivergent community

this community is supposed to be a safe haven for all neurodivergent people, whether they’re self-suspecting, self-diagnosed, officially diagnosed or anything in-between, and sadly that has been tarnished by a few fakers

your friend probably is probably defensive for that reason, or because she might’ve had to fight really hard for her diagnosis and has become very protective over it and thus very aggressive towards you when you brought it up

i do encourage you to continue to try and interact with BIPOC autistic people more, although all autistic people essentially experience the same main traits and behaviors, depending on race, the way those traits and behaviors are received varies wildly

but overall you have a much better chance at having a positive exchange with another neurodivergent person online, rather than in-person, since you can purposely go into communities that you know are probably going to be more welcoming and offer some relatability

it’s very hard going to someone you know in-real-life about you being neurodivergent and just getting shot down completely, it can be super disheartening, but it’s important to remember that there are countless people that you’ve yet to meet that will create that safe space with you to share anything neurodivergent-related and have it be received positively

and thank you very much !! i’m glad that you find comfort here and i wish you much more of it with different places and people as well ❤️

#discord can be especially helpful #i’m sure theres some bipoc ND only servers as well if you go to disboard.com and search it up #but just keep your head up #and know that you’ll find that somebody soon #autism #autistic #actually autistic #asd #autism spectrum disorder #on the spectrum #neurodivergent #adhd

[embe95]

It Only Took One Saturday

Synopsis: Mac's a good guy, okay? Well, I mean, he's the only one who cares about me... right? But then along comes Felix, who just changes everything.

Felix, again... He's just lovely to write for, idk man. This took waaaaay longer than I thought it would. And it is LONG. 6,800 words, jeepers.

Warnings: emotionally abusive relationship (reader has a toxic ex), cursing, talk of sex (not explicit) but yeah, here we are

Late again! Fuck… fuck Y/N, you can’t keep doing this!

I cover my face with a pillow, groan and stagger up quickly even though my body begs me to catch up on my sleep some more. Late… I’m late. Again. Minho is going to slice my head clean off.

Where- oh right, there…

”Y/N?” I hear his groggy voice from the messy bed. It’s covered with regret from corner to corner.

Fuck. Not again.

”Mac! You’re up!” I turn, grinning with panic, arms still flailing around to try and grab my clothes.

Mac leans up on his elbows, toned biceps flexing, hair a mess, and so it all comes back to me.

I’m at his house again. Why, why, why do I keep doing this?

I pull on my sweats, grateful that some part of me must have considered the fact that I have practice today.

This is not at all surprising. I came here after an anxiety attack and we had sex. Disappointing, yes, both as a decision and as an activity, but not surprising.

”You have practice again?” Mac’s voice sounds like a chain saw, but his tone is nonchalant. He’s gonna ask when he can see me next. I’m already bugged by the question.

”Mhmm… yeah.”

Where is the damn- oh yeah, there.

I pull my shirt on.

”When can we meet up?”

”Mac, listen, this was fun, but I don’t think-”

”Yeah, yeah, just stop. You say the same shit every time. Just face it, it’s not like you’re gonna find someone better. What we have is fine.”

”What we ha- You know what? Not now. I’m late. We’ll talk later.”

Mac’s reply ”see you tonight” rings in my ears as a disheartening taunt, a threat, a promise and, unfortunately, most likely a fact.

The city streets are filled with people who just can’t seem to understand that they are in my way and not moving quickly enough. The ride on the bus takes longer than it usually does. Seoul flies by, colours, sounds, smells all mixing together. What if I don't see Mac tonight? What if I do? Will he be angry if I'm alone? If I decide to be by myself will I end up going back anyway?

My body is tense and I check the time every few seconds, half waiting and half dreading the famous message I’m about to receive.

| What degree would you like me to set the air fryer to?

Actually, no. That one would be Minho when he’s not in his all-consuming choreographer mode, but when I’m just late for a coffee date etc. Nah, the text I’m about to get is from the team.

*Ping*

Called. It.

| Jinnie: What temp should Min set the air fryer to?

| Felix: I’ve hidden it, don’t worry

They’re hilarious.

| Y/N: eta 3 min

I’m usually late when I sleep over at Mac’s. It feels like a cycle, an unhealthy one at that. Are cycles ever positive? I digress.

We officially broke up over three months ago. Why did we do that again? Did we ever really? Bitch, please. I’m the one who called it off because I felt like there was a rhino sitting on my chest whenever we were together. But then… I don’t know. The rhino became a constant presence, and without another body close to mine it wiggles and jumps and dances. Sex is a distraction. But it’s never quite what I need. Maybe I'm the problem? Maybe I'm too much in my head? Maybe I'm bad at it? It’s more of a sport, really. At least dancing makes me sweaty and satisfied. 

Speaking of.

After what seems like 3 hours to me, the packed bus finally glides to my stop and I squeeze myself out from between two suits smelling of expensive Sauvage. The perfume stays with me as I speed to the studio on the 10th floor.

Almost there. Already sweaty.

I toss my bag and jacket, bow as deep as I can without falling over and join the warm up.

The next half an hour is grueling.

”Hey you,” Felix sighs as he slumps down next to me. He’s panting nearly as hard as me.

Thank goodness it’s not just me being out of shape, Minho is really working us today.

I wish I was focusing on him, his freckles and that incredible blonde hair that’s sticking to his forehead and neck. Instead I’m stuck staring at the luminescent rectangle in my hand, at the text underneath a number that should’ve been deleted long ago.

| Can you grab some toilet paper on your way over?

”You alright?”

”Yeah, I’m fine,” I sigh and discard the phone back into my bag. Airplane mode on, obviously, no phones during practice.

Felix stays quiet, fiddling with the strings on his hoodie.

”What’s up with Hyung today?”

”Right?” I leap at the opportunity to distract myself from the message I just received, but its effect on my mood is evident.

But Felix is his gentle self and doesn’t push it. He knows it’s not the time or place. He knows I don’t much care for talking in general.

”Break’s over! C’mon!”

We’ve been a dance team for a while, me, Felix, Hyunjin, Jisung and Elle. Three months to be exact. Minho focuses on the choreos but sometimes the formations he comes up with require pairings, and so he hops back in to where he originally began; dancing with his friends. I met them all during Minho’s classes, Hyunjin first at contemporary, Elle and Felix in street styles.

When my dear friend opened his dance school a few years back I attended it as more of a ”supportive friend” sort of thing, but ended up loving it so much there was nothing to do but become a standard fixture in Minho’s classes.

Then one September evening after a particularly sweaty contemporary class Min asked if I’d have the guts to try out for a team he was putting together. I almost started crying because of how touched I was that he wanted me to join so desperately.

It felt like magic, the way we all just clicked. We have ambition, Minho’s choreographies and just a shit-load of fun together. I didn’t even completely comprehend how far Minho’s reputation had spread before I found out that Felix had flown all the way from Australia just to attend his workshop. And now, here he is, next to me, practicing the most difficult combo I’ve ever witnessed Minho do.

I have the best time with all of them, no matter what we do. But Felix… he’s so kind and bright and pure like a fresh summer breeze. While my humor is more on the dark side (thank you, Min), we get along much better than I dared hope. My only ”problem” is that he never seems to be in a bad mood, and I don’t trust people without a dark side. He’s competitive, absolutely, and gets a little frustrated when he doesn’t learn a choreography as fast as he’d like. But according to him, when I compared his outbursts in those situations to mine or Elle’s, he just shrugged and smiled, stating that he’s a slow learner and that’s okay.

What gets him mad? What shakes him up? What makes those dark eyes darker? Maybe I'll find out some day.

”Min, one more time, please?” Elle pleads, eyes big, chest heaving, t-shirt soaked.

We four hum in agreement.

Practice runs until three pm. as agreed and I realize the rest of my Saturday is free.

Well, I mean… Mac is waiting for the toilet paper.

Minho startles me as his strong hands land on my shoulders.

"YA!" I snap and flip around.

His forehead is coated with sweat, hair sticking to it like running ink. My face expresses the distain for the previous gesture, but it's hard to keep an insulted composure when he looks at me like this; the small, mischievous smile more than familiar.

"Just coming to compliment you, but fine."

"Go on then."

"Why were you late?"

"Ha!"

My exclamation holds confidence, but as soon as Minho's eyebrows reach for the ceiling and his eyes turn worried, the façade shakes. He knows about Mac. He knows as much as I let him, but being a close friend has probably granted him the burden of seeing through my words. It's difficult to hide the calls and constant texts. And the running mascara.

"I'm here you know, just let me know if you need anything." This time his strong hand is gentle as it grips my shoulder. I nod and reach for my bag.

"Thank you, I know. It's all good."

"Why don't we have a proper movie night? Maybe some drinks?" Minho leans down to search for my gaze. Instead of waiting for my answer, he hurries towards Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix and Elle, all four of them already heading out. "You guys free tonight?"

I feel giddy from the idea of spending time with my friends.... beats having to be a delivery girl by a thousand miles. Well, that's not completely fair, I stay at Mac's house so it's only fair that I buy stuff too. But seeing my team smile and nod eagerly and immediately start making plans on what, where and when is like serotonin of a different kind. It's calmer than the energy that comes from dancing, it's more comfortable than explosive, if that makes sense.

So a plan is made: we'll all meet at Minho's house in two hours. I'll get the wine, Hyunjin is in charge of chips, Felix is on dip duty, Jisung will bring the sweets and Elle takes care of the donuts. Minho will order the pizzas.

"Hey Y/N, I uh..." Felix opens the building door for me as we all make our way out. He looks a little nervous, but I can't see why that would be the case. Did I do something to upset him today? Was I rude? Did he want to tell me off for being late again?

"I don't really need to head home, mind if I just come to your house with you and we can head to hyung's together?"

Oh. That's all? I sigh in relief and smile, both at his question and my own thought process. He's never been to my house but I don't see why that's a problem.

"Sure, yeah, let's go catch the bus."

The bus is as full as when I arrived four hours ago. Felix and I are squeezed together, chest to back at first, but I get frustrated with not being able to reply when he talks next to my ear, so I flip around after the first two stops. His neck is in my eyeline, I find his eyes by tilting my head up. I'm so happy he's not Mac.

"You don't wanna shower or anything?"

"Do I smell?" he smirks.

"No! No, that's not what I- I mean just that-"

"Calm down," Felix chuckles, his chest vibrating against mine. His tongue quickly swipes across his lips. "You have a point, I guess I didn't really think about it."

"You can shower at mine," I shrug and feel my phone buzz deep in the pocket of my hoodie. It seems irrelevant, all I'm focused on is watching Felix's cheeks and ears change color. I don't think there's any need to be shy about such things, a shower is such a normal need and I so happen to have one at my place, as well as a clean towel and some shampoo. I always have this need to make people feel at home at my apartment, even if they haven't been there before. My goal is that it's easy for them to be with me and around me if that's a space I want to give them. And Felix has more than earned his space these past months.

Why does every suit wear Sauvage nowadays?

We laugh at nothing, damn near skipping our way to the elevator.

As the doors open to reveal the end of my blissful Saturday standing in the hallway, I find myself wishing that Felix had come home with me any other night. The rhino suddenly leaps onto my torso again, begins a little jig and my feet go a little numb. Tonight sounded too good to be true anyway.

"Where have you been?"

The text from earlier... I could've prevented this. Ignore the question, he knows where I've been.

"Felix, this is Mac, Mac, this is Felix."

Mac doesn't take Felix's outstretched hand, only stares at him up and down. I want to smack his judgmental jawline.

"Oh... uh. Hey, man... what's up?" Felix uses the hand meant for a polite handshake to rub the back of his neck.

"I'm her boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend," I specify abruptly, sending a pleading look at Felix to... well, I don't know what.

"What are you?" the owner of the rhino asks, voice as judgmental as his expression.

This is normal. Mac never got along with any of my friends. That's how boyfriends are. Or some boyfriends. We're meant to spend time together by ourselves and then we both keep our own friends as separate entities. He didn't want me to get jealous of his pretty friends. And of course he shouldn't have to see me being happy with other guys.

I fumble with my key and feel Mac's eyes burning my skin very uncomfortably. Maybe if I take too long, Mac will leave?

"Open up, I've been here for like... ten minutes."

"You knew I had practice."

"How was I supposed to remember what time it ends?"

He hasn't remembered before, why would he now? But we didn't make plans this time, but... I did, with my teammates.

"What's he doing here?" 

Mac pushes past me into the apartment, practically shoving me against the door. Felix's arm flies behind my back to stop me from falling.

My place is small, about 25 square feet which is really all I need. I try to keep it tidy, but every corner here screams "hectic lifestyle". Felix takes off his Converse immediately which makes me smile. I probably should be embarrassed by him seeing the laundry and dishes, but who doesn't have those in their apartment? Having two guys in here though... that's a little out of the ordinary.

"Felix and I just came to swing by, we're heading to Minho's for a movie night-"

"What? I thought we were hanging out?"

"I never said that! Minho asked and we all thought it was a great idea-"

”I drove all this way to get you!”

He did. He drove the whole five blocks for me.

”I know, okay,” I sigh and cross my arms. It hurts to turn to look at Felix, whose expression is completely unfamiliar to me. But his eyes aren't on me, they're on the man currently slumping onto my couch, I hear the heels of his shoes hit the small table in front of it. I wish he wouldn't do that.

I step between them. The rhino standing on me makes it hard to move. ”I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I'll just text Minho. I’m so sorry for this Lix… dragging you here…”

Those beautiful brown eyes soften as he turns to me, it almost looks like he's reaching for me.

”You didn’t-”

”Lix? Are you a cat?” Mac laughs at his own quip.

He’s not funny, but at least he tries? I guess. But it’s not funny when it’s aimed at my friend.

”Shut up,” I reply. ”There’s no room for that with so many burgers in your name.”

Felix chuckles low and glances at me, hands in his pockets. I’m happy I make him laugh, it feels like an achieved goal. His smile falls quickly when his gaze does the same; he sees me throwing my bag over my shoulder and my feet inching back towards my discarded shoes next to the door.

”You really shouldn’t try to be funny,” the burger scoffs from the couch, grabbing a fistful of sourcream chips from the bowl on the table. I made him angry with my joke, I knew I shouldn't have said it. ”Or eat these, I thought we talked about this,” he mumbles as they turn to mush in his mouth.

He’s right, we have talked about it. Mac has said many times that he’s noticed how they make my face bloat. He’s right, I’m trying to be a good dancer, after all, I need to look the part.

I hum in response and lean down to tie my laces.

”You ready or what? What’s taking so long?”

”Almost!” I reply fast.

I return to an upright position so quick my head spins, but I have to hurry because Mac is getting impatient. I'm already mentally preparing to head for the door, when a sudden chill runs through me.

”Felix?” I stare at his expression, from the side his eyes look black. I hold out my hand, my trembling fingers reach for his arm but before they make their landing, he steps towards Mac.

”Leave.”

I’ve never heard a voice so low, it’s primitive and raw. Mac freezes in his spot, chips stilling in his mouth.

”Now.”

”Excuse me?”

”Lix, I-”

”No, I’m sorry. Excuse me. Let me be more clear.”

Felix approaches Mac slowly.

”Get off your ass, walk to the door, open it, step out of it and then close it. I don't care what the fuck you get up to after that, but leave my sight right now, or I won't be responsible for my actions.”

Mac looks at Felix, then me. His expression emits complete disbelief. I don't move for an instant, but when I see Felix's head begin to tilt to the left, his back so tense he's shaking, I'm flooded with the strength of the small army he and I form together. I stare back at my ex, eyes ablaze, and cross my arms.

Mac scoffs and stomps toward the exit.

"You're just a mess of red flags, Y/N, psycho friends and all this shit, good luck finding someone to fuck!"

The silence that follows the slammed door is deafening. My hands fall to my sides slowly, the rhino walks away. I can't stop staring at the bowl of chips next to the couch. Why shouldn't I eat those if I like them? Why should I go just because he tells me to? I can find people to fuck me, to love me... I-I think I can. Right now I think I can.

”Thank you.”

”I’m so sorry,” Felix says speedily and his voice overlaps with mine. He pulls me in for a one-sided hug. I can’t respond out of the confusion in my brain.

”Sorry? For what?”

"I know you don't need saving, I just lost it, I'm so sorry if I hurt you by treating you as someone helpless, you're not, at all!"

Only Felix could turn doing something so kind and hot and decent into something to apologize for. I reach for the sides of his head which is now buried in my shoulder. He's still shaking.

"Lix, look at me."

He does.

"You did nothing wrong, thank you. I mean it. He needed to hear that. As did I."

His lower lip trembles.

"Oh come here, silly," I pull him back to the hug he began. Arms flung around my torso tightly, we remain like that and just breathe together until I feel his vibrating muscles calm.

So, that's what he's like when he's mad. That's one of his buttons; he's protective of his friends. Interesting, sort of obvious and very fitting.

Felix has to crouch, almost fold over to have his head reach the crook of my neck. This is the first time he's ever felt tall and small simultaneously, it's endearing. I'm suddenly very conscious about the fact that I haven't showered yet when I feel his nose brush the nape of my neck. My breathing pauses from the feeling. I hope I don't smell. Why did that feel so... intimate?

His arms tighten and he inhales deeply. Shivers travel throughout my existence and I have to force out an exhale.

"Are you okay?" Felix straightens up and focuses all his attention towards my eyes. It's magnetic, I just stare back. His eyes are brown again. I've never noticed that freckle next to his eyebrow.

"Y-Yeah, I'm good..." I mumble and then realize what I said.

The rhino is actually gone. I can breathe. I test the thought in practice and start smiling, the full kind.

"I'm good. I'm good! That felt so, so good! Felix, oh my god. Thank you for standing up to Mac, oh my god, I feel okay, I really do!"

I prance and hop around my apartment, blabbering all the while. My friend laughs aloud with a bright expression, his hip to one side, weight on one leg and hands in his pockets.

"I'm happy to hear it. I'm sorry I got so angry though," he goes serious.

"No, no, I loved it!"

"Huh?"

I stop mid jump and feel like what I just blurted out is floating in front of me like a subtitle. Without knowing my thought process I can see how this could be confusing.

"He's gone," I sigh and turn to look at Felix. "He's gone, and it's good. I love that you did what would've taken me another six months of my life to finally do."

The whole team knows we started dancing together around the time me and Mac "broke up". I watch realization spread onto Lix's handsome features and wonder what it is he realized. That I was too weak to be alone? That I basically lied about the break up and that I've been seeing Mac this whole time? That I'm an idiot? That I'm pathetic?

"Has he been like that to you the whole time?" His eyes are dark again.

That's a tricky question in a sense. I really want to say he wasn't like that at first. That he changed. But maybe he was always like that and I was just too into him to see it. We disappeared from my friends' sight so quickly that no one in my social group really ever got to know him before the bigger fights began. Maybe they would've seen that he was a walking red flag.

"I'm not sure, actually. I think... it may have changed around the time he found out about my anxiety," my voice is small. I find refuge on the bed because the couch seems to still have his ass print on it. "I-I... Well, what really helps me when I get anxious, like have an attack or something, is physical contact. Mac made me feel like... I guess he made me feel like he was the only one who wants to help me. So even though I always felt heavy with him, and I did, truly, I feel so small and- well, just wrong when I'm with him it just... It felt like a better option than the wrong way I feel when I'm by myself. Whenever being alone got too much and I needed someone to hold me, hug me, touch me... love me, I'd go back to him. I guess I think it's better than being alone. And sometimes I just freeze and stare at everything this effects in my life; my family, friends, the team... I love dancing with you guys so much, but if I keep being late and just fucking everything up, I don't know what'll happen... Great, here I go. I'm sorry."

Tears have begun to run down my cheeks all the way to my hoodie. I didn't look at Felix once during my monologue, it felt so personal and self-reflective that I should've been on a leather futon in a therapist's office. All of a sudden he lands in front of me, knees colliding with the floor.

"Don't apologize, please."

Felix's hands envelope mine and he squeezes them gently. "I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. If I'd known... He's an asshole, you don't need him. You have so many people who'd be happy to help you with whatever you need. People who adore you."

His hands protecting mine feels comforting, but there's something very exciting about his touch. I'm happy I'm crying, because it hides the real reason I think I'm shivering right now. But it's Felix... I mean it's Lee Felix, he's my friend. My teammate. I mean... have I thought about what he's hiding underneath his clothes, what he'd look like out of them and under me? Sure, yeah, of course. Obviously. But never in a serious manner. I haven't even let myself think about having a new crush. There's only been Mac. The one whose supposed to be the only one to love and take care of me... I imagine what sex would be like with everyone I dance with, I guess. How can someone who's been having sex regularly be so horny? Maybe it speaks to the satisfaction level of the activity. Or the one offering the services. I digress. What is it about Felix that makes our contact so monumental all of a sudden? 

And now I know he can get mad, his eyes do get darker. And it happened as he protected me. I loved it. It's like I've unlocked a new level.

My tears cease, the last two fall when I smile.

"Thanks, Lix, that's sweet."

"I mean it, I... We really care for you. And if you ever need company or anything, you know, just call me- or any of us!"

His eyes haven't left our joint hands once.

This would be the perfect moment to kiss him.

As if reading my mind, his eyes find mine. They're big and beautiful, glowing. He's glowing.

This is the wrong time to kiss him, or anyone. It's not fair, I'm just fragile and excited and frazzled, and anything that could happen now could just as easily be me trying to control these roaring emotions with something concrete. That something should be taking a shower, not kissing my friend.

But he's so beautiful and staring at me and just right there, looking so ready for the taking.

SHOWER, WOMAN. DO IT NOW.

My hands fly to Felix's cheeks and his eyes light up even brighter. I smack a dry kiss onto his forehead and get up clumsily.

"Thank you, you're amazing. Really, I'm so happy we're friends," I chirp, heading to the closet to grab fresh towels for us both. I toss the yellow one to him just as he's getting up, eyes now on the ground, the corners of his lips seem to curve down. He must not like forehead kisses. "Let's talk more okay, I really do want to go through this properly, but I really need a shower first. Just make yourself at home."

An accepting hum follows me to the bathroom.

I'm quick when I shower, but I'm happy that Felix took my comment to heart and relaxed enough to sit on my bed in the five minutes I spent away from the shared space. He smiles quickly and heads straight for the shower after me. The door slams shut. It feels aggressive.

Did he look sad? Mad? Annoyed? I'm not the best at going through this, deep conversations I mean. How do I express how grateful I am for what he did? I've never been in this situation, having someone kick another someone out of my apartment, having someone stand up for me. Granted, it was a coincidence Felix was here and saw Mac in action, I'm lucky to have friends who would've kicked his ass months ago if I'd given them the go-ahead. But maybe Felix wanted me to kiss him? But why would he? Would that have been a good thank you? Did he feel like I wasn't being fair? That I'd kiss someone like Mac but not him? Not Felix... surely he wouldn't- I pray he doesn't think that. He's not the guy who thinks I should "repay" him. He's not.

While my mind rolls me down this very steep hill I somehow find my way into comfortable yet clean clothes. We should really get going.

"Hey, mind if I borrow a hoodie? I didn't bring a change of clothes and would be nice to throw on something fresh."

I can't breathe, he's gorgeous, the towel flung over his other shoulder while his sweats hang low on his defined hips.

SPEAK.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, of course, that's fine."

I toss him a hoodie just like I did the towel fifteen minutes prior, he catches it just as easily. Only this time I can see the muscles that work while that movement happens.

"We should really get going."

We should, and we do. Felix is a tacit conversational partner the entire way to Minho's, mostly because I'm so nervous I'm blabbing his ears off. The quiet, very clean creature next to me doesn't seem to mind the listening role though, so I keep going until we get to Minho's apartment.

"What took you so long?" a fresh-out-of-the-shower Minho groans loudly.

"We're early!" I reply and shove a wine bottle into each of his free hands. Felix chuckles. "Jinnie, Ji and Elle aren't even here yet!"

"I'm hungry now, and I assumed you'd be earlier to make up for being late again today!"

We make our way to the kitchen.

"YA! You know I'm sorry!"

"Your apologies mean nothing to me."

"Hyung," Felix shakes his head solemnly.

Everything goes quiet. Minho's look jumps from me to Felix, obviously annoyed he doesn't understand, not knowing what he's supposed to not talk about. It's really not fair, and I don't want Felix thinking he's not allowed to talk about what happened, how he helped me.

Fine, I'll just come clean.

"I've been late because I've been sleeping over at Mac's. A-And sleeping with Mac."

Minho's eyes widen.

 "And when I do that I... I loose sense of everything else. I'm sorry, Min."

"But we're gonna help her now," Felix's soft smile makes me tear up again. "So she'll realize she doesn't need him."

I believe Felix.

"Felix kicked him out of my apartment today."

Minho's whole being brighten's up. "Really?"

"Yeah, and I'll do my best to keep him out."

"And we'll help," Min replies and reaches out his hand. "Phone."

After a moment of misplaced incredulous staring, as if I didn't know the next step was necessary, I hand it over. With a few calculated, overjoyed swipes and clicks, Minho does his part to ensure that Mac's gone. I have the best friends. The thought floats in my head like a proud flag I proudly fly, but then the door bell rings. And ten minutes later it does the same thing. And I only get more proud from there.

The rest of the night is amazing. I haven't felt this light in millenniums. The five of us indulge in wine, chips, pizza, donuts and movies. It's exactly what life should feel like. Sometimes I catch Felix staring at me. His response to our gazes connecting is either a swift redirection of his head or a goofy face. I'm sure I made him uncomfortable somehow. Maybe he thinks that I know what that thing was and wants me to not feel bad about it. Because he's kind and selfless that way. But the thing is that I don't know what the damn thing is. The drink swirling in my wine glass isn't wine, it changed into a demonic version of a Gin & Tonic two full glasses ago. It's Sprite and Gin, the two ingredients Minho has in his apartment, if you don't count milk. Which I do not. The blasphemy still goes down fairly easily, and I'm finding it harder and harder to stop staring at my beautiful, blonde savior. I need to know what made him make those faces as well as how he feels about everything that went down - and didn't go down - at my apartment.

I'm pretty sure my brain is demanding things I shouldn't really demand of him. He doesn't owe me anything, it's the other way around really. But I don't want to repay him physically. I mean I do... but only as a disguise to hide the fact I really do want to touch him and feel him. Okay, I'm going over the rails. I set down my glass, slowing down the drinking to make my thoughts calmer, but... when did I empty this? Never mind.

"Y/N-ya, it's almost one, you need to go or you're going to miss the last bus," Minho's voice rings from the kitchen. One? How can it already be one in the morning? "Wanna sleep over?" he continues after a slight pause, mouth obviously full of something. I've taken shelter in his lovely home countless times, but somehow I feel like going home. Today has been such a hurricane.

"Nah, thanks," I get up and skip to the kitchen, pulling my best friend in for a hug. "But brunch tomorrow?"

Minho nods against my shoulder. He hugs me tighter than usual. He utters the next sentences without lifting his head.

"I'm fucking glad that he's gone. I wish I'd known you were still... Anyway, call me, Felix, anyone else when you get low okay?"

My turn to move my head up and down. I hear the quietest, most fragile "I love you" before he straightens up and ruffles my hair sloppily. "Get going, or you'll have to run!"

I give Hyunjin, Jisung and Elle their goodbye squeezes, but as I'm rashly moving closer to Felix's torso on the couch, he captures my hands in his and fixes his eyes on mine, this time obviously wanting me to notice. They're slightly glossy, a little red, as is his nose. An intense feeling burns through me as his skin glues to mine, identical to this afternoon.

"I was thinking of heading out too, can I make sure you get home okay?"

I swallow and nod.

We stand about twenty feet from the bus stop as we watch the vehicle drive by, almost empty. I let out a laugh. Last night bus, cab costs an arm and a leg, walking takes an hour and it's freezing. So...

"Well, back to Minho's I guess," I rub my hands together and glance at Felix, ready to turn back to the mini party only a few minutes back the way we came. "I can wait for your bus with you if you want,  where does it-"

"I can walk, I... I live pretty close."

"But..." I mumble and stare at the imaginary Google Maps opening in my brain. "You could've just gone home to shower today then, you didn't have to come to my house. I thought you lived so far that it wouldn't have made any sense for you to..." my voice disappears when the shyest and most embarrassed smile I've ever witnessed starts to adorn his features.

"Yeah... I live like, fifteen minutes from here. I just... I don't know, I just wanted to hang out. With you."

"Why?"

Felix laughs, loud, incredulous, glancing up at the dark heavens. "Why? 'Cause you're amazing, that's why. I've been... shit, okay... I've been wanting to hang out alone with you for weeks. I've had a crush on you since- well I guess since the first time I saw you in class months ago. It was just physical at first, I think, but then we got into the same team and you just... every day you just turn out to be cooler and cooler and I've just been gathering the guts to fucking ask you out... I was going to ask today, but then we made these plans, so I just used that to try to steal a few moments alone with you. But then..."

I gulp.

"We met that asshole who made me lose my shit, and I'm still just so sorry I got angry, but I just needed to get him out, I mean, how could he talk to you like that? Treat you like that? And then when you cried and I held your hands for the first time, all I wanted to do was kiss you, and I thought you wanted the same thing, and I'm so sorry for that."

We've made our way to lean against the apartment block's stone wall side by side, eyes on the ground. But the flood of questions that take over my brain at this apology physically fling my gaze to him.

"I'm sorry I was thinking of something like that when you were so vulnerable. You obviously didn't want that, you made it really clear with how fast you left the room and how nervous you've been since... I made you uncomfortable, and I'm so, so sorry. It was never my intention. And... well, the more I think about it, the sillier the thought of you wanting to go out with me feels-"

"Why? Because you're kind? Handsome? Funny? Talented? Intelligent?" I blurt and turn to stand in front of him. "Felix..." I whisper and take his hands into mine, suddenly shy again, since I can't seem to look up. "You didn't make me uncomfortable. Not at all. The reason I did this," I repeat the forehead kiss, only slower. His body goes fully stiff. "And ran into the shower was so I wouldn't kiss you right then. It didn't feel fair."

"What do you mean?" his voice is low and hoarse, chin tilting up so his eyes reach mine. How can someone look this ethereal?

"Because... I didn't want you to think that I was only doing it because I was trying to get over Mac. I haven't let myself think about anyone else since we started going out and I... Now, I feel desperate to just forget about him and find something better. I want to believe I deserve it, it's a lot of work but because of you, what you did today, I think I can. I just... desperately need to get him out of my system. I want something more."

"You deserve it. You deserve so much," he whispers and I watch his Adam's apple bounce.

How does alcohol give me so much confidence? Four drinks ago I would've turned as red as a tomato and moved away, but now my eyes stay on the man in front of me as he slowly straightens up and is suddenly towering over my short form. But when Felix towers, it's safe and strong, not intimidating in the slightest.

"I'd like to help you think about someone else."

"I want to kiss you," I bring our hands up, placing them between our chests. "But only because I want to kiss you, Felix, not just anyone. You."

"B-But I don't want you to feel like-"

"Shh... I don't. I want you. I just don't want to hurt you, because I don't know what my heart can take at the moment, I can't promise that I'll be a good person to date right now, I-"

"What if..." Felix gently lifts my chin higher with his thumb as his voice trails off softly. "We just... kiss good night, and then I'll take you on a date tomorrow... Let's see how it goes and... take it from there. Sound good?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah?" he grins before leaning down to press his lips against mine. Right before they touch, he hesitates. He's kind. Too kind. His breath beckons me, calls for me to close the gap.

They're so soft. I need to grip hold of his hoodie just to stay upright as we melt together. Felix's hands pull me closer by my waist, I feel him crumpling up my hoodie too. He tastes like sprite, it's heavenly. The good night kiss turns into a much longer goodbye, as we slowly explore how our lips and tongues fit together. I could stay here forever. I can't remember anyone I've ever gone on a date with, dated, let alone kissed before this. It's heavenly. It's all just... heavenly.

Today, I found two things that make Felix's eyes darken. That's really exciting. They're almost black when they open as we pull away from each other, but return to the gentle chocolate shade when he smiles.

"Good night," I whisper and give him one more peck, which almost turns into a another session.

I wave shyly as I watch him disappear behind the corner. I don't know how I'll get to sleep. Or how I'm going to explain this grin that just won't. Go. Down.

The next day I have brunch with Minho, and Felix and I head to the movies in the evening. That date turns into another, and another... and another. By the time Christmas comes around, we've been together almost every day. I've found a lot of things that make Felix's eyes darken.

But since we've been together, I haven't been late to practice once. Okay, once, but that time we were late together.

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids oneshot #stray kids imagines #lee felix imagines #lee felix fanfic #lee felix #skz felix #felix x reader #felix fanfic

[sethizah]

Pride

It had been a shitty day. Oh man, that was an eufemism.

It had been a hell of a day.

He was tired, sore and stressed, the championship was in a few weeks and Coach Hudson looked like he wanted to skin him.

He understood the guy, it would be his big break. But come on, he had been training for hours and had hit all the steps and still the guy wasn't satisfied.

He wanted that medal as much as anyone but… He missed his home, his family… It had been days since he'd spoken to any of them and it was becoming like a hole in his chest.

A need for connection, beyond a mere holotela… He wasn't ashamed to admit it.

He wanted a hug, safe and full of love that could only come from a loved one.

Training was over and Gordon headed for the restrooms area, head down, a bit disheartened at not being able to meet his coach's expectations.

He barely noticed the man standing by the door until a hand landed on his shoulder.

-Whoa, fish…calm down. -Scott?

-Uh..yeah, I think that's my name….

His big brother was there, looking like a shit eater, showing a smile full of dimples and love, right there in front of him instead of being miles away away, in danger in a damn war.

It was like a shock to Gordon and he couldn't resist the urge to cling to the man as if his life depended on it.

-Hey…it's okay, it's okay… His older brother hugged him with the same affection as always, murmuring something comforting that Gordon couldn't understand.

Too busy just feeling his brother's warmth and scent again that reminded him of love and protection.

He didn't even know how much he missed it, until that moment. It took a few minutes until I felt safe to let go.

-Scott!!

- Yes… it's me little brother…

-What are you doing here? I thought you were….you know…playing hero and shooting the bad guys.

Gordon made a point of doing the short reenactment of a man being shot, exaggeratedly..because he was that dumb.

Scott chuckled and ruffled his little brother's wet hair.

- Yes, but I got a few weeks off and as I was close by, I decided to stop by and see a fish in its natural habitat. You did great bro, amazing!!

- "You think? "Because, damn what old Hudson thinks, if his big brother was satisfied, then he was happy.

- Yes! Surely this medal is yours!

His older brother was all proud, with a toothy smile and that goofy face he makes when he's really happy. Gordon just looked at him for a few seconds. Hell, he loved that idiot.

-Will you be able to come to watch?

-Uh, unfortunately not bro…I swear I tried..But I'll need to go back first…sorry.

-"Okay, I understand". And he understood, he knew that his brother would do everything to see him win that medal, but unfortunately if he said he couldn't, it was because he tried everything and didn't see any other way. But that didn't stop him from feeling a twinge of sadness and disappointment.

- Hey man, don't be like that. I'm here now and I have nothing to do but spend as much time as possible with my little brother. What do you think?

- "Oh really? "And one more hug was given, because as much as Gordon was a prankster, who loved to play pranks on his older brothers, he was a typical little brother who idolized his big brother and would never give up spending time with him. So after a quick shower and a change of clothes, they both left to spend the rest of the afternoon together, like old times. Not a shadow of the sadness and despondency of before to get in the way, damn what your trainer thinks. His big brother was here and he was proud of him, that was what mattered.

#brother #gordon tracy #scott tracy #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction

[ssreeder]

SORRY I KNOW U SAID U DONT WANT TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS AND YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ASK OR U CAN ANSWER IT PRIVATELY IF YOU'D RATHER i just really cant shut up ever and one thing i cant stand is fic writers getting shit in any capacity like omg what is up with unsolicited 'advice'? in some ways i find it WORSE than if people were just actively rude bc it's so backhanded and passive aggressive that you can't really respond how you want to bc they're not technically being nasty and they say it under the guise of being 'helpful' and it's just YUCK. like shut up!!!! who even asked you!!!!! writing fic is a free, beautiful hobby and for some reason people feel entitled to it in ways they really wouldn't with literally any other hobby and it does my head in, so pls pls dont feel like ur being sensitive. that's the main reason im sending an ask bc i get you've acknowledged that it's annoyed you and why so again sorry if im beating a dead horse here, it's just i hate to see you undermining your feelings about something that IS genuinely really frustrating and disheartening. like it will never not baffle me how oblivious some ao3 commenters are to how much their words can impact a writer. just like you, 99% of all my comments are positive, and yet i can probably list verbatim the handful of not-so-nice comments ive had in the years ive been on ao3 bc they just STICK with me. so yeah. you're very valid and i know you dont need me to tell you but you've got a whole army of people who love your work and have your back, so just remember that when someone decides to be obnoxious xxx

Haha hella I adore you & I don’t ever want you to stop talking.

Yeah I think the reason it irked me more this time was because after I got a few scattered comments I didn’t enjoy I kindly asked people not to do it anymore & then the very next chapter someone did it lol. & even asked if I was getting enough sleep … like…. damn it… really?

again I do think I’m being sensitive because fuck it I’m probably not getting enough sleep haha but damn you don’t gotta call me out like that! Lol. & I get so many wonderful comments and fanart and asks and all that jazz but I can’t help but hyper-fixate on the one not so nice comment haha

& then I over think everything & it ruins the fun hobby I’m supposed to be enjoying lol

I love that you get it, thanks for always being so awesome & now for the second or third time coming to have my back. You’re the best hella :)<3

#I wasn’t going to post anymore of these but I’ll probably post one more #idk maybe other fanfic writers can see it and know we are all going through it #it doesn’t matter who you are #or what you write #there is always some asshole who has access to the internet #that’s going to give their fucking opinion #but yeah I’m always really nice in my responses because I’m so awkward in those situations #I’m just smiling and laughing and saying wwwtttffffffffff #idk I did tell the last commenter to fuck all the way off though lol #they caught me in a MOOD though #thanks for sending this ask hella #& even the last time I was upset about it you let me vent to you #so that was cool #you’re one of the good one hella!! #& im sorry a you get stupid comments too #but im pretty confident the TAOB following would stab a bitch who was rude to you #as they should #don’t fuck with ao3 writers we aren’t paid enough to take your shit people #(get it…. cause we aren’t paid at all….. haha) #ok thanks again hella #hella1975 #ask

[indycinders]

Weeping Hearts :: A Duality Fanfic

I have severe Duality brain rot, so have some angsty shit.

TW: mental health issues

Duality, Keith, and Tenebris belong to @dualityvn

Evie belongs to me <3

FU- i forgot to add this:

context - Evie and the boys have been in a poly relationship for a little while now, long enough to be talking about moving in together, however they still have their own apartments, but Evie practically lives with them anyway

~*~

Evie trudged up the steps to Keith and Tenebris’ apartment, feeling bone-weary and disheartened. Her shift at work just ended, a job that involved rigorous customer service, and the worst of the calls from the day weighed heavily on her mind.

Is it a full moon or something? Jeez, everyone’s got a stick up their ass or something.

In front of the apartment door, she fished her keys out of her pocket and reached forward to unlock it. After a little jiggle, the lock gave in, and she opened the door. An earthy smell permeated the air, slightly wet and very welcoming. That was one thing she loved; all of the plants around the apartment, from flowers to ferns and the like.

She closed the door behind her, lifting her bag over her shoulder and dropping it on one of the coat hooks. She tucked her keys inside it and turned to the rest of the apartment.

“Hey, love!” Keith’s bright face was right there, startling her.

“Oh, hi, honey,” she replied, smiling softly and reciprocating the quick kiss on the lips he gave her. 

“How was your day?” He asked, following behind her as she went to the kitchen in search for a snack.

“Mm, it was fine,” she replied, opening a cupboard and scanning its contents.

“It doesn’t sound like it was fine.” The scrape of wood against tile made her eye twitch and she knew Keith leaned against the small table in the room, wanting to be near her but not smother her, like usual.

“No, no, it was fine,” she said again, ignoring another eye twitch.

“Y-you know you can talk to me, right? I’m a good listener, e-even if I can’t help with whatever problem might have happened.” He was tiptoeing now, prying, testing the waters.

It wasn’t that Evie was abusive, or loud. She knew Keith had a prior relationship that wasn’t loving or safe to be in, just as she had. She knew that he worried about setting people off, especially people he cared for, because past trauma had conditioned him in such a way. Just as it had her.

She knew these things, but it still didn’t stop the bubbling irritation that plagued her mind and caused her neck muscles to tense involuntarily. 

“Honey,” she said through clenched teeth in a forced natural tone, “when I say things are fine, they’re fine, okay?” She breathed deeply through her nose, closing her eyes and trying to calm herself.

It wasn’t him. It was stress, her anxiety, and those stupid assholes from work that threatened her well-being just because they had to pay off their damn credit card. It’s like they think we’re giving away free money or something.

Her grip tightened on the cupboard handle when another intrusive, and dangerous, thought entered her mind. Tenebris wouldn’t bug me about my day. He’d probably just ask for me to make him a sweet snack, and see if I’d want to watch him play a game.

No, no, no. Those thoughts wouldn’t do. She couldn’t compare and contrast the two of them, because she loved both of them equally. It’s just at this moment, she could do without Keith’s sugar-sweet and caring nature.

She could feel his hesitation and awkwardness, palpable in the air between them. “I-I know. You just seem… well, a little wound-up. I’m here for you, Evie.” In a smaller, softer voice, he said, “I just want to help.”

Evie closed the cupboard with a little too much force, making it clatter loudly. She dropped her hand on the counter with a thunk and turned around to look at Keith. His eyebrows were pinched together and he was watching her closely, looking himself like he was about to run. Even though he towered over her by a full foot, he had shrunk down and looked small.

It just made her feel worse. Now her bad mood was affecting not only herself, but him as well. Her green eyes flicked away. “I’m going to get some air.”

“Evie, don’t leave–” Keith reached out for her and she held up her hand.

“Seriously, just leave me–” the fuck alone, was what she was going to say but she stopped herself when she saw him flinch. “I-I’m sorry, just… I need a moment,” she said softly and quickly left the apartment after yanking her bag off the coat hook.

She practically ran down the steps and outside the building, down the street…. She went to her favorite “hiding” place: a grassy area near a small river, hidden behind some old buildings. She sat down hard, hurting her tailbone, but she ignored the pain and stuck her hands in the grass.

After a moment, she kicked off her shoes and socks and wiggled her toes in the grass and dirt as well, something that made her feel rooted and alive. Closing her eyes, she focused on her breathing and emptying her thoughts.

Several minutes later, she was lying on her back, eyes still closed, listening to the distant sound of cars and the closer sounds of birds chirping quietly. The afternoon sun dipped lower in the sky, casting orange hues and mixing with the pale blue of the day as it gradually changed to evening.

Evie didn’t hear the footsteps approaching, but she felt Tenebris’ presence before she heard him speak.

“Should have known you’d be here,” he grumbled, plopping down beside her in a rough manner.

He never did anything in a gentle way, but it wasn’t on purpose, nor was he really aware of it. Her eyes parted and she looked over at him. He was sitting with a knee propped up and one of his arms resting atop it. His purple gaze was set on the water.

“Predictable, aren’t I?” She responded.

He didn’t say anything, just continued to sit there. She heard the familiar sound of grass being ripped up and knew that he was holding back from scolding her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. She kept her eyes on his face and noticed that it softened slightly when he heard her.

“S’fine,” he sighed. “I mean, it’s not, but your day must have been awful for you to act like that.”

Evie looked up at the sky. It was a mix of radiant colors and she admired them quietly for a second before she started talking. “You ever just… feel like you’re only existing? You’re not living, you’re not trying to die, you’re just… there. And whatever happens to you happens because you don’t care to change anything?”

Tenebris scoffed brashly, “No.”

A small smile made her lips twitch. “I do. All the time. And I’m tired of it.” She closed her eyes again, taking a deep breath in and slowly releasing it. “I just want to be happy. I just want to be able to accept both of you, without a doubt in my mind, and I can’t, and it’s so god damn frustrating!” 

In a flash, she was scooped up and her face shoved a little roughly into Tenebris’ chest. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, one of his hands tangled in her auburn hair, the other gripping the jacket she wore. His face was buried in the top of her head, breathing in her scent while he placed a soft kiss atop it.

“I want you to be happy. We want you to be happy, Evelyn, and nothing will stop us from getting you there.” He murmured, “What do you need? What can we do?”

All at once, the tension and irritation and all the feelings she had felt throughout the day boiled over as tears. She proceeded to wrap her arms around him in turn, curling into him and ugly sobbing into his chest as she came undone.

His hand not in her hair began to rub her back soothingly, bringing a warmth to her that only the both of them have ever given to her. Soon enough, her sobs settled into shaky sniffling. She pulled away and maneuvered herself to a sitting position, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and smoothing her hair down.

“Ugh, sorry,” she mumbled.

“For what?” 

She looked at him, opening her mouth then shutting it immediately. Instead, she let out a little laugh. “D-did you not change before coming here?”

Tenebris was wearing the same outfit Keith had been when she’d gotten home. Normally, he took the time to change into something more his style when it was his time with her. The starkness of the soft colors both clashed with his blue skin and also sort of complemented it as well. 

“No,” his face turned a deep purple color. “It didn’t seem important at the time.”

She smiled, then released a short sigh. “I think… maybe I should get a different job.”

“Maybe?” He let out an abrupt laugh, but cut it short and blushed again. “I-I didn’t mean that, sorry.”

Evie shook her head affectionately. “It’s fine, no worries. But, yes. I think this is… too stressful for me right now, at least.”

He reached out and cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone softly. “We agree, and maybe… maybe it’s time to look into therapy, yeah?” His voice was ever delicate and full of love.

Evie felt her eyes water, and nodded. “Y-yeah…���

“You don’t need to suffer, Evelyn. Not alone, at least. I love you, he loves you, and we only want the best for you.” Tenebris' normally tough and abrasive personality was surprisingly silky and warm when it came to reassuring her of her feelings. 

She closed her eyes again, steadying her breath and said softly, “Can I talk to him?”

“Sure,” Tenebris smiled at her. “But first…”

Gently but playfully, he grabbed her and pulled her on top of him, planting his blue lips on hers needily, smiling underneath their kiss. She squealed and giggled, running her hands through his hair and kissing him back just as needily. Sometime during this, Keith emerged and the kisses became less needy and more deliberate, slow and sensual.

Her green eyes fluttered open, meeting his blue gaze. There was hurt in his eyes, a hint of fragility, but mostly there was love. Undying, unyielding love that threatened to consume her and sparked a hunger in her chest that she’d never felt before.

Evie sat up and pulled away to get a grasp on her thoughts and to be able to fully articulate what she wanted to say. Keith followed suit and patiently waited for her, idly reaching over and taking one of her hands in his, stroking his thumb over the back of it. 

“I want to apologize, first of all, for any time I’ve ever made you feel… inadequate or unable to help me. For making things… hard, and difficult to understand how I’m feeling.” She looked out toward the water, unable to meet his eyes as she spoke. Her voice was breathy and trembling. “It’s unimaginably painful to share the worst thoughts I have, the horrible parts of myself, with someone I care about so much. It’s easy for me to express these feelings to my friends because, well, there’s no expectations there, you know?

“There’s no obligation or need for me to be perfect for them, because they already accept me as I am.”

“You’re able to tell Tenebris your feelings just fine,” he stated, sounding discouraged.

“Mm, yes, but that’s different also. He’s so… wholly himself, if that makes sense? He has no expectations for me, he never has, other than for me to just… be myself. He has no judgments because that’s just not how he is.” She explained, feeling a tinge of panic in her chest and hoping she was coming across as she wanted. “It’s not that I love him more, or I love him in a different way. It’s that I care so much about what you think of me, how you see me, that I’m afraid to show you the darkness that’s here also. With Tenebris, I already know how he feels. I already know that I can cry and scream and feel fucking insane, and he’ll still be right there, waiting with arms wide open, regardless of anything that I do.”

She turned her head to look at Keith finally, eyes shining with tears. “With you, I don’t want to see pity, or fear, when I have these moments. I don’t want to see anything but the love you feel, and it’s on me that I haven’t been able to trust you with my vulnerabilities. It’s not on you, Keith, I swear.”

Evie turned her body towards him next, reaching for his other hand and squeezing both in emphasis. “I love you. I love you, too much to afflict you with my problems. To taint you with these awful feelings of hatred and self-loathing. I can’t handle appearing anything but as how you see me in your eyes, because how you see me is exactly what I want to be, but I don’t always feel that way inside. Do you understand?”

Keith’s throat felt swollen with emotions as he listened to his darling love. She bared her soul to him, essentially, and all he wanted was to hold her and kiss away the pain, wherever she felt it. “Love, there is nothing in this world that would make me look at you differently. Nothing that would sway my heart from you. I promise you this, Evie, I will always love you, no matter what.”

Evie sobbed and threw herself at Keith this time, knocking them both over. She snuggled into his chest and let her emotions flow out. Keith rubbed her back, her arms, ran his fingers through her hair, and planted soft, loving kisses on the top of her head. When she’d finally calmed down, he helped her to her feet and they walked back home, hand in hand, feeling a thousand times lighter than before.

#cinders writes #fanfiction #duality fanfic #fanfic #angst #mental health stuffs #sort of a vent post ig HAHA i started it last night #super sorry if either of them are out of character //sobbing #alright now that's out of my system #back to our regular scheduled programming sldkjflsg