#but like. reading books. going to the gym. forcing myself to go outside once a day. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

keichan · 3 years

Text

Firsts with Sakusa Kiyoomi

A collections of firsts with Sakusa Kiyoomi

A/N:

I’ve had the idea of this story in my drafts forever now, but I sat down yesterday and finally brought it to life! I have never wrote for Sakusa before, but I hope that you guys enjoy my personification of him!

word count: 7.2k!

warnings: vomiting, nsfw content that will be italicized, swearing?

Please interact with this story! I’m restarting my blog back up and I lost a lot of moots! Send me asks and whatnot!

The first time you saw Sakusa Kiyoomi was when he silently strolled down the hallway in elementary school. He had a blank stare at all times. Never strayed too close to any of the other children. A gloomy looking child that you did not particularly want to approach. His hands remained glued to his side and looked to be sulking. He blended into the crowd but if you paid enough attention, he barely stood out. He crossed your mind for the slightest second before you were sucked back into conversation with your friends.

The first time you heard his voice was when he was talking to another boy in your grade level. Who you found out was his cousin. Their interaction was quiet and somewhat dull. His cousin, Motoya, asked if he wanted to go to an after school activity with him. Sakusa nodded briefly and said “sure”. His voice was quiet and bored. You wondered as you walked past the boys what they were talking about, however, you were quickly distracted yet again and proceeded to move forward without a second thought.

The first interaction between the two of you was your third year of middle school. Sakusa Kiyoomi was nothing but a background character in your life. You ever so often saw him since the two of you were in different classes. However, you shared a class with Motoya so it wasn’t too rare to see the boy.

You walked out of class upon dismissal, but hung around campus with your friends, knowing that your parents were at work and it was redundant to return so early. It was an unanimous decision to go to the convenience store outside of campus to grab a quick bite with the chore money that took a few weeks to rack up.

Walking outside of the gym a volleyball rolled to your feet. You picked it up before looking to your right to see who it belonged to. Sakusa Kiyoomi walked calmly over to you with his hands at his side. There was no one else in the gym. He was playing by himself.

He came to a halt, looking at you expectedly. You fidgeted the ball in your palms before asking. “Are you practicing all alone?” He nodded curtly with a deadpan expression that said give me the ball.

“I see.” You tossed him the ball gently before following your friends that have already walked ahead.

At the convenience store you grabbed things you thought Sakusa may have liked.

“Why are you grabbing so much? Also, I thought you didn’t like daifuku.” Aya commented as she browsed the shelf next to you. Your nose scrunched up. “I’m just craving it.” You shrugged her off. She didn’t reply as she grabbed a carton of apple juice.

All of you checked out and parted ways in front of the store. It wasn’t long before you peeked your head into the gym to see Sakusa slamming the ball against the wall continuously. He was roughly the same height as you, but each time he struck the ball, there was an undeniable force behind it.

You took your shoes off, outside of the gym before clearing your throat nervously.

The boy caught the ball as it ricocheted off the wall. His black curls stuck messily to his forehead and he turned to you with a confused expression. Holding up the plastic bag with one hand, you offered him a small smile.

“Looked like you were working hard, so I brought this for you.”

He blinked at you. Not a word.

“I can just leave it somewhere if you’d like. I just have to-”

“I was actually getting kind of hungry.” He said quietly. He walked to the edge of the gym and sat down. You followed his lead quietly. Upon sitting down, you opened the bag, preparing to dump everything on the floor before he raised a hand to stop you.

“The floor is rather dirty, I would prefer you not to do that.” He said plainly “Please.” he added. You nodded and opened the bag towards him so he could get his pick. Luckily for you he went straight for the daifuku. He meticulously unwrapped it and began to munch silently. You followed suit and you began to eat a custard-filled bread roll.

“Sakusa, right?” You turned your head to the boy. “Kyosuke?” You faltered.

He shook his head. “Kiyoomi. And you?”

“L/N F/N.” You answered. He dipped his head in acknowledgement.

“What high school are you going to try to go to?”

“Itachiyama.”

“Really? I want to go there as well. Maybe we can study together for the entrance exams together.”

“I’m going to get in on a sports recommendation since I’m on the volleyball team here.” He said nonchalantly as he flattened the snack’s wrapper on his thigh. You nodded. His curtness didn’t particularly bother you.

“Fair enough.” You brushed off your skirt and began to make an exit towards the gym. You began to slip your shoes on outside of the door before waving over to him. “Let me know if you change your mind about studying. I’m in the same class as your cousin. Keep the rest of the snacks. Work hard.”

Roughly two weeks later Sakusa Kiyoomi was waiting outside of class 3-B. Ignoring Motoya he approached you. “Let’s study for entrance exams.” Motoya looked at you oddly and tailed the two of you as Sakusa lead you to the library in silence.

You sat in front of the curly haired boy, pulling out your journals and folders excitedly sliding them towards Sakusa. Motoya sat beside him, earning a subtle glare from Kiyoomi.

“I looked at everything they’ve made available for students who are applying, organized it, and color coded it. I have a plan to get in.

Sakusa carefully eyed over your notes as he skimmed the pages. Your handwriting was incredibly neat. Everything was so organized that even an idiot could get into Itachiyama. Not that he was thinking that you were stupid by any means.

That was the first time you saw Sakusa smile because of you.

It was now your first year at Itachiyama Academy. You walked through the gates of the school sandwiched between Sakusa and Motoya. Somehow the three of you managed to be in the same class.

As the semester progressed, you began to settle in a routine with the boys. You would sit at practices, reading books. After they finished, you would all study at someone’s house and part ways.

It was dipping into the summer. Tokyo subtly rose in temperature as the rainy season commenced.

Sakusa stood outside of your home with an umbrella since he was fully aware that you refused to bring one to school any time that it rained. He looked down to his cellphone. You were always punctual so it didn’t make sense to him that you weren’t outside yet. He knocked on the front door to your family home. No answer.

He used the spare key under the plant to go inside. He propped the umbrella against the door and took his shoes off before making his way upstairs. You weren’t in your bed but he could hear someone gagging in the bathroom.

His face contorted into disgust at the thought, but proceeded towards the room. He opened the bathroom door to see you hunched over the toilet. Your hair pooled over your shoulders going forward as you choked on your own vomit. Sobs quietly echoed the room.

He cautiously moved forward and gathered your hair in his hand. He turned his head away from your body to cover his distaste for the situation that he found himself in. You jumped startled in place before you started vomiting again.

“Sorry, I didn’t text you. I’ve been here for hours.” Your voice was incredibly weak.

“I wish you took care of yourself. Then things like this wouldn’t happen. Where are your parents?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice croaked. Sakusa flinched at that. He knew the feeling all too well.

“You know if you used an umbrella in the rain you wouldn’t get sick. Plus you’ve been pulling all nighters with school for no reason. Stop overexerting yourself.”

“Shut up.” You groaned. “Go to school. I’ll take care of myself.”

He rolled his eyes. He grabbed a hair tie from under your sink and tied your hair back to the best of his ability before leaving the room. Going downstairs he began to make hot green tea with honey, a glass of water, and cut up an apple, your favorite fruit, and grabbed a mask out of his backpack and put it on before returning to the bathroom. You were leaning against the wall, your features were flushed as beads of sweat developed along your forehead.

Sakusa sighed as he squatted in front of you.

“Drink this. Rehydrate. Put some food in your stomach.”

“Go to school Sakusa.” You muttered as you placed the cup to your lips gently.

Sakusa began washing his hands into the sink, ignoring you.

“You ought to go lie down so your body can repair itself.” He turned around before gathering the cups and the bowl of fruit from you. He placed it on your bedside table before he felt a weight collide with his back. He turned suddenly to catch your body.

“Sorry, I must be really weak right now.” A laugh barely escaped your lips. You were face to face with him as he supported you up. All he did was nod before he gently lowered you onto the bed, placing you under the sheets.

He walked over to the bathroom and found a small towel. A sigh of exasperation escaped his lips. He already had known that you were overdoing it academically, but now it finally showed physically. He didn’t understand you sometimes.

He returned to your room once more to see that you were out cold. He used the cloth to gently dab the sweat off of your face before folding it inside out and resting it on your forehead entirely. Sakusa supposed that it would be alright to skip school that day to help his friend out.

“Thanks, Kiyoomi.” The words poured quietly from your lips. His head jerked up suddenly

That was the first time you didn’t call him by his surname.

“Okay hear me out. Yes, you’re insanely talented at volleyball. No, I am not telling you how to play, BUT I think that if you approach the AB attack that you guys have been working on this way, I think that you can achieve it somewhat better.” You shoved your diagram that you drew out to Kiyoomi. His eyes scanned over everything. You flipped the page in front of him.

“This is the way that you’ve been doing it, but I think that with your spiking range, you wouldn’t have to exert yourself and overextend yourself from this side of the court.”

Sakusa laughed pulling your notebook closer to himself.

“This is actually genius. How did you know I couldn’t get it?”

“You’ve been spending more time practicing solo than normal so I just paid a little more attention when I’ve been able to come in and watch.”

“I really appreciate this! Do you mind?” You shook your head. “It’s all yours. I have some other ideas in there as well since nationals are coming up.”

He giddily slid it into his backpack before checking his phone.

“Shit. I didn’t realize how late it was. The subways are probably packed by now.” He groaned.

You slung your bag over your shoulder. The crowds outside were moving meticulously outside. A sigh escaped your lips. You turned to Sakusa as he hooked a mask over each ear with a gloomy expression.

The two of you walked out of the cafe and headed towards the JR line. The crowd was astonishingly hard to walk through. Well, it was easy for Saksua since he could see over the sea of people. You reached out for his sleeve and managed to grab his hand. He looked back and gave you a weary acknowledgement and continued to tread forward. You barely managed to get into the train car with him. Your fingers tangled with his as you were shoved into his side. You looked up to see his eyebrows furrowed and expression darkened.. This definitely isn’t the first time that Saksusa had been unfortunate enough to get on the trains with rush hour.

“You good, Kiyoomi?” You tugged on his arm gently as you whispered. He nodded looking down at you. A man beside you accidentally shoved you forward. Sakusa quickly laced his fingers in yours before he anchored you back to his side. You squeeze his hand gently as a quiet thanks.

In roughly ten minutes the doors opened to your stop. Sakusa led the way, weaseling the two of you outside of the train station. He let out a sigh of relief as he climbed the stairs onto the open street.

“Much better.” he mumbled. You absentmindedly followed him to his house as he continued to hold your hand.

“Kiyoomi, you know you can go ahead and let go now.” He froze in his tracks and looked down to your hands and returned his gaze to your face.

“Apologies.” He said before he let go. His hand returned to his side.

“I think I’m going to call it a night here. I’m going to Motoya’s to study the notes. I’ll text you if I have any questions.” He raised a hand to bid farewell and walked to the direction of his home.

Your eyes traveled down to the palm of your hand. You studied it. Each finger as you rotated it. With a subtle shrug, you turned to the opposite direction and made your way home.

That was the first time you held hands with Sakusa Kiyoomi.

“What do you mean I can’t braid your hair for a game? It’s getting longer and it would look adorable. Right, Motoya?” You twirled one of Sakusa’s curls gently in your finger. Motoya glanced up from his phone laughing.

“I don’t see why not.”

“ Don’t support her. You’re going to make her think that she’s unstoppable.” Sakusa groaned and thudded his head against the table.

“Can I do it for fun though?” You whined as your ran your hands through his hair.

He sunk in his chair in defeat. “Fine.”

You excitedly stood up and got to work.

After a few minutes you were finished. His hair was barely short enough for it to stick into a little poof in the back. You quickly took out your phone and snapped a quick selfie with your back camera. You laughed at the photo as Sakusa grabbed at it.

“I didn’t know that you were going to take a picture of me, you ass! Delete it!”

“Nah, this is too good! Kiyoomi I really think you should do this for a game! You look precious!”

You quickly ran over to the couch next to Motoya, showing him the off guard picture you got of the two of them. The two of you were in hysterics. Sakusa ran over to the couch to join the two of you. Placing an arm around your shoulder he broke into laughter as well.

Lose hair flowed on the sides of his face. His eyes squinted shut as his laughs filled the room.

“You ought to delete that picture though, seriously.”

You shook your head at him.

“This is too good. I might just send it to your whole team.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

After some time, the three of you settled down and watched a movie. You rested your head on his shoulder. His arm never left your side. The three of you passed out cold.

Motoya’s mother laughed at the view she had of the three of you as she took her shoes out of the door. Her own son was sprawled out on the end of the couch, snoring the night away. Kiyoomi’s head rested on the couch. Tufts of hair were popping out of the braid. His arms loosely wrapped around you. Your head rested against his chest and your arms rested around his stomach.

She laughed quietly to herself, leaving the kids to sleep.

This was the first time that you fell asleep on Sakusa Kiyoomi.

“What do you mean that you didn’t have a good time at the camp? It’s literally for the Olympics!” You had your hands on your hips as you stared at Saksua. He sulked in your kitchen chair. He came over as soon as he had gotten back from camp.

“I do not understand how Shiratorizawa lost. Kageyama Tobio wasn’t necessarily an extraordinary feat to watch-”

“You do understand that there’s a reason why he got invited there as well, right?”

“I’m trying to be realistic here.”

“Well since both schools are going to nationals, maybe you can play them in the bracket. You’re the number two ace in the country because you worked hard Kiyoomi. I don’t care if some brat from Miyagi rubbed you the wrong way. You need to get over it and do your best. You and Motoya leave in two weeks.”

The two of you had spent the last hour bickering of his experience. Sakusa had a negative thing to say about almost every player that was there.

“If I want to analyze my potential opponent then I think you should allow me to. You’re not playing on the court whatsoever so I think you should keep your opinions to yourself about this situation.”

“Kiyomi, I’m literally the one who has helped you get to where you are now. I’ve spent hours of my own freetime, even getting physically ill coming up with ways to help you and Motoya improve your skills to be better players-”

“But nobody asked you to do that.” He glared at you. You falter at what to say next.

“I did it because you two are my friends. And I want you to succeed.” Each word articulated from your mouth excruciatingly slow. As if you were questioning yourself.

“You have a lot to say for someone who has never played the game before.” Sakusa snapped at you.

“Get out.”

“What?”

“Get out of my house. You do not talk to me like that here.” You made your way to the front door, holding it open.

“Out Kiyoomi.”

“I think we’re having a little miscommunication.” He rose from his chair. He hands beared out to you as he stepped towards you cautiously.

“No. Grab your bag. Put your shoes on and leave. I understood with clarity everything you just said to me. Now I’m asking you to leave. You said everything you wanted to.”

Sakusa’s head did not hang low as your gaze pierced through him. He slung his back over his shoulder and walked towards you. His height towered over you before he bent down, slipping his shoes over his heels.

He walked out without another word.

That was the first fight you had with Sakusa Kiyoomi.

In the next two weeks you didn’t walk to school with the boys, you did not study with them, you did not watch practice, you didn’t use breaks at school to visit their classrooms. Anytime Motoya had reached out, you politely avoided him. If Sakusa did it was like he wasn’t even there.

Nationals were now upon the boy’s volleyball team. You followed the group solemnly to the bus. You had signed up as an official volunteer and there wasn’t any way to necessarily get out of it since you had already been excused from the school days.

You sat alone on the bus. Far away from your two friends. The ride was short. Upon arrival, you carried the medical bag to the team’s designated area for the day.

It was a clash of teams mingling at the entrance of the arena. Not one member of the team had made it to the area yet. You turned to see Sakusa’s standing in the corner of the room. His forehead creased and his chin tucked towards his chest. There were too many people for him. Motoya was mingling with random teams. You let out a small sigh and made your way to the designated area.

A hand gently rested on your shoulder.

“Can we talk?” Kiyoomi asked. He towered over you in height. You couldn’t see his face due to the mask, but he radiated stress. You nodded and sat next to him in the hallway.

The apology was quick, sweet, and straight to the point. You graciously accepted and it wasn’t any worry at all.

You could never truly be mad at him.

You continued to help the boy’s volleyball team until they lost the tournament.

You waited on the side of the court for the boys to come off. However, Sakusa was approached by fans and reporters.

You stood patiently on the other side of the toom. The opposing team’s captain approached you. He shyly flirted with you. Sakusa watched from afar as he continued to chat with the reporter.

This was the first time Sakusa Kiyoomi felt jealousy.

You, Kiyoomi, and Motoya stood side by side posing for pictures for your families. High school diplomas proudly in hand.

Kiyoomi graciously slipped away from everyone for a brief moment. His parents were fawning over the fact that he got accepted into college on a sports scholarship. Same with Motoya. Your parents were openly wondering what college you would choose to go to. You got accepted to five different ones, one of them the same as Kiyoomi.

You and Motoya bid your parents a farewell and began to leave the school together for one last time. Kiyoomi stood at the gates waiting patiently for the two of you. His blazer now slung over one shoulder, he used his other arm to gently rest around your shoulder.

“I’ll see you at the dinner, Motoya. I’m going to walk Y/N home.”

Motoya dipped his head in acknowledgement before parting ways.

You and Kiyoomi laughed and reminisced over the last three years. The late nights studying. Hanging around each other's houses. Him keeping you company as you read your books at cafes. The cat you two found outside of the school your first year. The god awful game of telephone pictionary that almost got the three of you suspended your second year of school. The failed attempts of learning how to play volleyball in third year. It seemed that all of the memories so precious to your heart were coming to a cease.

Your laughs faltered as you approached the gate of your home.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do when you leave for Osaka.” You laughed nervously as his arm slid off of your shoulder. He unconsciously moved a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Easy. Just go to the same school as me. It’s not that difficult of a decision.”

You laughed. “You know I haven’t even begun to choose the college I want to go to yet. I haven’t weighed the pros and cons of each school. Plus you got a full ride.” You sighed.

“Well a pro is that I’m there. I think that’s enough.” He tilted his head at you.

You let out a short laugh before turning your head away from him. “If only it was that simple.” You wondered aloud.

“I have to see how good the program is for what I want to do. I know that they’re the top in the country for it but will it really benefit me? What if financial aid doesn't end up coming through and I have student loans out the ass? What if housing is full? If I don’t have anywhere to live?”

Your thoughts were cut off by Kiyoomi stifling a laugh. He used a single hand to cover his mouth as he looked down at you. You shoved his chest playfully.

“What’s so funny?”

“You worry too much for someone who’s so smart.”

You rolled your eyes at him. He ran his hand through his hair before he rested it on his neck, his gaze never leaving yours.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how pretty I think you are.” He reached over and cupped your face. His long slender fingers gently tucked the rest of your hair behind your ear. He felt your skin heat up below his hand and laughed.

“Are you trying to be funny because you’re really bad at it.”

Before you could even react, Kiyoomi quickly closed the gap between the two of you. His lips were soft as he gently pressed his lips against yours. Your hands rose up quickly against his sides. Slightly panicking. He tilted your chin up slightly and you finally kissed him back.

You felt him smile against your lips as he pulled you closer.

He pulled away. Grinning like an idiot.

“I think you should go to that school in Osaka with me. I’m going to have an apartment and everything.”

You placed your arms around his shoulders and his slinked down to your waist.

“We’ll see.”

Kiyoomi’s body sunk into itself.

“I’ve been waiting to do that for quite some time now and that’s all you say? ‘We’ll see?’ It’s really not enough.”

“I mean who said I haven’t been waiting to kiss you too?”

He raised an eyebrow at you as you leaned up to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“For how long?”

“After nationals in our second year when I saw a horde of fan girls for one of the best aces in Japan.” You reached up and pinched his cheek. “I thought to myself that I wasn’t jealous or anything, but I think I’ve thought about you romantically for a while now.” He narrowed his eyes at you before shaking his head for you to let go of his face.

“But you’re right. You’ve never told me I was pretty before, Kiyoomi.” You used your hands to bring his face down to yours.

That was the first time you and Sakusa Kiyoomi had ever kissed.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was disappointed to say the least that you did not follow him to college in Osaka.

Or so he thought.

Two weeks after his move there was a knock on his apartment door at 7am in the morning. Kiyoomi was a morning person, but he had no clue who it could possibly be. He pulled a sweatshirt over his body and pulled on sweatpants over his boxers.

There you stood with a suitcase in each hand.

“I chose Osaka because I don’t think I can handle being away from you for four years.”

Kiyoomi enveloped you in a hug, making you drop your luggage. He pressed your body against his chest and buried his head into the crook of your neck. He peppered kisses on your cheekbone until you turned to face him. He held your hands and kissed you sweetly before pulling you inside.

“Kiyo, you need to grab my bags.” You mumbled into his mouth. He gently put you down. Grabbed your bags and placed them inside and turned to face you. You looked at him expectantly with your arms open towards him. Without missing a beat he picked you up and spun you around.

“Are you sure you want to go to school out here?” He pressed a kiss to your temple. You nodded against his chest.

“One exception though.” You pulled away from him.

“Will you be my boyfriend, Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

“Yes.”

This was the first day you spent as an official couple.

The semester was beginning to take a toll on the both of you. Fortunately enough, the both of you managed to be taking the same courses for your basics and had a basic study regiment in the evenings. Kiyoomi’s volleyball practice ran from ungodly hours of the morning and the fatigue was catching up to him as finals week set upon the two of you.

You returned from the library and walked into the bedroom to see Kiyoomi sound asleep, laying on his side snuggling a pillow. Quiet snores spread through the room as his mouth was slightly agape.

You quickly showered and changed into a shirt of his before snuggling into bed beside him. You ran your fingers through his hair causing him to lean into your touch.

“Y/N” He groaned into the pillow.

“Hm?”

“C’mere.” He lifted up his arm as an invitation. You quickly obliged as his arm encased you into his chest.

“How was studying? Sorry I left so early.” He yawned.

Your arm wrapped around his side as your fingernails began to graze his bare back.

“It’s fine, Kiyo. I know how tired you’ve been lately. Being a student athlete is tough enough as it is.”

“I don’t want you to be stressed out because of my incapabilities.”

“You’re only human. And I’m stressed out because college is tough, not because you’re incapable of things.”

“I know.”

“Your voice is cute when you’re tired.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Nevermind.”

“I beg your pardon?.”

“Have I ever told you that you’re super handsome when you’re dead quiet. I know I can’t see you right now, but the whole brooding thing you usually have going on is usually pretty nice in my opinion.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, Kiyo.”

“Y/N I’ll literally make you do all of the cleaning next week.”

“But Kiyo-”

“Shut up.”

“Anyways. I’ve missed you.”

“We live together. And study together. And go to school together.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.”

“Remember that one time that you fell down the stairs in our second year? In front of the entire class?”

“I hate you.”

“I love you.”

“What?”

You sat up abruptly staring down at your boyfriend. He sat up, propping his hands on either side of his body. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

“I love you, Kiyoomi.”

A lazy smile graced the black-haired man’s features.

“I mean it!”

“I know you do. That’s why I’m smiling.”

“I really mean it, Kiyoomi. You’ve been my best friend since middle school. We spent every waking moment together. I got to grow with you as friends. I had the opportunity to watch you bloom into your passion by bringing you daifuku one day because I saw a quiet boy practicing all by himself. I’m so lucky for that moment of time. Even though we’re busy now, we get to hold each other at night and see each other’s achievements during the day. I think it’s so amazing that we have each other. I just want to cherish you.”

“I love you too.” He clasped his hand over yours.

“And I mean it too.”

That was the first time you and Sakusa exchanged ‘I love yous’.

The semester had come to an end. Kiyoomi rested his head on your lap as you watched TV and he watched volleyball highlights on his phone. You played with his curls absentmindedly.

“I can’t believe that Kageyama Tobio is playing on the Olympic team this year.”

“Who?”

“The kid who beat Wakatoshi our second year.”

“Oh that one.”

“I want to play in the Olympics.”

“I know Kiyo you just need to keep doing what you're doing and you’ll be on that stage in 2020.”

You pulled out your cell phone and took a picture of the two of you. Managing to get his glare and everything. You shoved the photo you just took in his face.

“Look! Do you know who that is?”

“Me. Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

“Correct!” You exclaimed. “He’s also my boyfriend and a future Olympian! A future representative of Japan’s men's volleyball team!”

Kiyoomi laughed. He locked his phone and just kept on laughing.

“You’re so precious.” He managed between laughs. He pulled his head from your lap and squeezed your cheeks with both of his hands.

“My girlfriend believes in me!” He sang song.

You placed your hands over his and pulled him forward into a quick kiss.

“Am I not supposed to?”

“I never said that.”

“You’re kind of suggesting it. Do you not like me anymore?”

He leaned forward, putting his lips on yours once more.

“You know I don’t like you, I love you.”

(nsfw)

Butterflies rose in your chest at his words. You gave him the dopiest grin before you leaned into him once more. Your body leaned into his. Kiyoomi’s hands rose under your shirt as he pulled you on top of his lap. Your legs fell on either side of him as your fingers ran through his hair. As your hands reached the back of his head you fisted his curls, earning a quiet groan from the man underneath you. His hands pressed roughly into the skin of your hips. The surprise let Kiyoomi slip his tongue into your mouth.

He began to place open mouth kisses down your neck as his hands traveled up to your breasts. You quickly slid your shirt off over your head to give him more access. His kisses continued across your collarbone and down to your breast.

“Kiyo-” Your breath hitched in your throat as he swirled his tongue.

“Hmm?” He mumbled into your chest.

“Let’s go to the bedroom.” You said firmly, as you slid your hands to his shoulders to get him to look at you.

His dark eyes sparkled at you and nodded.

You got off of his lap and made your way to your room. Dropping your shorts to the ground, you kicked them to the corner of the room. Before you could even reach the bed, you were enveloped in a hug from behind. Kiyoomi’s bare chest warmed your back as he began to kiss your neck, your shoulders. A hand firmly on your hip and a hang squeezing your breast. His hands traveled your body hungrily. You turned to meet his face. Caressing it with the back of your hand you placed a gentle kiss on his nose, making him smile at you.

Your hands draped over his boxers as you generously worked them down his legs. Placing, small, eager kisses on his lips.

“I don’t think we have condoms-”

“Yes we do. They’re in my nightstand, I bought them just in case we ever-”

“Mhmm”

You lured Kiyoomi over to the bed as you stroked him. He opened the bedside table and carefully tore the wrapper before rolling the condom on. He hovered over you as he lowered you onto the bed, his lips not leaving yours once. His fingers caressed you, slipping in and out slowly, you moaned into his mouth, making him speed up ever so slightly as he kissed all over your body. He wanted to show you physically how much he loves you.

He positioned himself between your legs before slipping himself in. The two of you gasped at the newfound sensation. He moaned into your neck as your hands failed to grab at his back. He kissed your cheek and smiled at you. He began to roll his hips into you repeatedly. He was weary of his actions as his hands roamed your entire body. He didn’t want to go too slow or two fast. He never asked, he just studied your reactions as he pressed deeper into you. He began to hold a steady rhythm as moans began to spill from your mouth. Each sound encouraging him to unconsciously move faster.

“Kiyoomi.” Your nails sunk into his back, your lips struggled to find his. He moaned your name into your neck. He was reaching his climax as he shuddered inside of you. He kissed your forehead gently.

“I love you. Forever. I cannot imagine anyone else I’d share this life with.”

You stared at your boyfriend. He was studying your face with great intent as if to check if he made a dent. His hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat. You pushed it back making his curls bounce as they flopped back down. His body rose and fell steadily as he caught his breath over you. He gave you a small smile as he flattened your hair on your head, he gently pulled out of you before sitting on his knees and sliding the condom off of himself.

“Give me a second please.”

He walked to the bathroom and disposed of it and began to pick up the clothes from earlier and put them in the hamper. He returned to your side. He propped up his head on his hand as ran his fingers through your hair.

“I’m so lucky. Everyday.”

You smiled as he placed yet another tender kiss on your lips.

The night ended with Sakusa curled on your bare chest, fast asleep while you held him dearly through the night.

That was you and Sakusa Kiyoomi’s first time.

Today was Kiyoomi’s first V-League game.

You were never typically awake at the same times that he was. Ever.

You sleepily followed him around the apartment. He brushed his teeth first. You stifled a laugh as he began the skin care routine you taught him in high school. He ignored you, but followed suit. Next he fixed his bed head. Well you did. You sat on the counter with him between your legs as you gently raked product through his hair.

“Omi Omi.” You sang as he relaxed into your hands.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why? I think Miya was onto something when he started calling you that.”

“No he wasn’t. He tainted the second half of my name when he started that shit.”

“Don’t be that way, Omi Omi!”

“Shut up!” He yawned.

“Or what, Omi?” You hopped off the sink and walked away from him.

“You’re gonna do what you did to me, last night? Right now?”

A sly grin rested on his lips before he pushed you to the bed.

“Good thing we woke up early.”

You stayed arm and arm with Kiyoomi at the bar where his teammates won. The Black Jackals won their very first game.

You glanced up at your mask-clad boyfriend as he glared at his teammates.

“Omi Omi! I didn’t know you were bringing your girlfriend!”

“Hi! You must be Atsumu!” You extended your hand to shake his, but Sakusa cut in front of you.

“Don’t touch him.” He rolled his eyes.

“It’s called being courteous, Kiyo. You ought to try it!” You shoved his chest.

“I can’t believe Omi Omi has a heart. He actually talks about us at home.” Bokuto bunched up his shirt on his chest, his eyes watering.

“You’re telling me.” Atsumu huffed.

“To be clear, the only person I respect on this team is Meian and I think it’s all valid.” Sakusa glared at the two men. His gaze lost it’s focus once he heard your laugh and reeled back into the conversation that you were having with Hinata.

His teammates smiled as they were watching a never before seen Sakusa Kiyoomi.

As the night progressed more and more drinks were spread amongst the team.

You and Kiyoomi balanced the drinks the best you could, but after all, it was your first time drinking. Ever.

Both of you, equally wasted, exited the bar and ordered a ride home. Laughing up the stairs the two of you tumbled into your bedroom. Kissing and everything in between.

Sakusa Kiyoomi looked at you like you were the light of his life and he made sure you knew it.

You studied his features as he drunkenly told you stories of when he was little. His dark brown eyes squinted at you as little laughs escaped his mouth. Anytime he smiled one corner of his mouth rose higher than the other. Anytime Kiyoomi reached for your hand, he always managed to be the most gentle with his spindly fingers. His kisses were so soft. Even now as he continuously reaches down to kiss you. Even though your own lips are numb from the alcohol rushing in your veins.

This is true love.

“I told you that you’d be in the Olympics.”

You wrapped your arms around him as you stood behind the couch, smothering his cheek with kisses.

“I know! I’m glad everything paid off!”

“Me too. Me too.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever dated an Olympian.” You stared at the phone in Kiyoomi’s hand. The congratulatory email.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you think about marrying an Olympian? Pretty practical, right?”

You grinned from ear to ear.

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had in a while.”

“I’d like you to know I’m full of great ideas. I mean we’ve been together for six years. And it’s because I kissed you since you wouldn’t kiss me. I think that it’s a fair assumption that I’m the brains of this relationship. I also made the idea for us moving into this city home. I also made the executive decision for us to buy a cat.”

“Kiyo. That’s not how that went. You know damn well I brought the cat home when you were done with practice and you hit me with the whole ‘I guess we can do it if we clean the litter box everyday’. I think you’re remembering things incorrectly. Per usual.”

“Dunno, but it took my decision making to allow her to stay in this home.”

“Uh huh. Now that I think about it, it would be my first time marrying an Olympian.”

“Well duh. I mean look at me.”

“ I was talking about Miya, you dolt.”

He let out a hearty laugh. “I guess you can take the role of the funny one.”

The first time Sakusa became a parent. He had almost passed out in the delivery room. He’ll never acknowledge it to you, however when friends asked he claimed that childbirth was ultimately disgusting.

His eyes shone the moment your son entered the world.

He held him delicately as if he could break. He was laughing as he gently brought him down to you.

You stared down at the baby you and your husband had brought into the world and you couldn’t help but think of the first time you saw Sakusa Kiyoomi and the blessings the boy brought into your life.

(A/N) the smut scene wasnt supposed to be good!!!!!!!!! It was their first time so it wasn’t supposed to be some god tier orgasming experience. It was supposed to be plain and about their connection!

thanks for reading (:

568 notes · View notes

joshslater · 3 years

Text

Quarantine & VR

5500-word story, so I used the Keep Reading feature for once. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

“Are you sure you’re OK with this?”

We were slowly driving through an eerily empty city center from my student flat next to campus on one side of town to Ethan’s flat on the other, with all my belongings stuffed in the back of the U-Haul. Not that I had so much stuff we needed one. I just moved into the state right before the semester started, but it was the cheapest rental we could get. No one is going anywhere with this lockdown in effect. We barely had time to read the syllabus before everything screeched to a halt. You thought we’d know by now how to handle pandemics, but nooo.

“I wouldn’t have helped you clear out your shit if I wasn’t. Bit late to ask now.” “Yeah, but it seemed like the polite thing to do.”

Ethan turned towards me and spoke with a more serious tone. “I’m really happy to have you stay at my place. I think I would go mad staying alone. Go mad or go home, and I don’t think being locked up with the parents would be better.”

He was about as new in the city as I was, but his aunt had moved out of an old apartment last year and his parents had decided to take over the lease. Apparently it was even cheaper than the student apartments and much larger, but further away from campus. Though where it was in the city didn’t really matter as long as this lockdown was going on.

“Someone else is out at least”, I said indicating out the window. Across the street, a police officer with a navy blue face mask followed our truck with his eyes. Or her eyes I guess. Hard to tell in uniform and mask. I don’t know why, but I found it a rather good look. I hate the flimsy paper masks, but these form-fitted ones kind of make you look more badass.

“Do you think he looks sexy like that?” he asked, as if he had the same thought. “It’s a bit dystopian sci-fi, but that’s not to say it doesn’t look good.” “Take next right. The one after is one way.”

The apartment had two bedrooms, a large living room, decent bathroom and kitchen. Ethan’s aunt had left some furniture, but overall there wasn’t that much stuff. Makes sense as he had barely been here a month. That’s how he had a sparsely furnished extra bedroom for me to use. This was only the second time I had been in the apartment. Ethan forced me to have a look in person before he allowed me to agree to stay with him. Now standing there with all my belongings in the truck outside and my student flat lease canceled, I realized we really didn’t know each other. I studied corporate finance and he medical computer science, whatever that meant. When I asked he tried to explain that almost everything in a hospital now has a computer in it, and a ton of work went into things like volumetric renderings of MRI scans and somewhere there I started to tune him out.

There really weren’t any overlapping circles between us, we studied completely different subjects, he was active in computer games and health, I was trying to get into the writing room of the student theatre company and looking to sign up in the cinema club. But both of us had the bright idea to start working in the student pub, and really hit it off during the start of school year party they threw for their workers. We decided to pick the same work schedule and found out we have the same taste in pop culture, music, books, movies.

And now I’m moving in with him.

He had the larger of the bedrooms with a queen-size bed in the middle, a desk with a few computers and screens set up, gaming computer chair, a reading chair. Basically his room was set up so he could live there except for visits to the kitchen and bathroom. My room didn’t have a desk, but a normal bed, an armchair that looked comfortable, and more wardrobe space than I would ever need. He told me that I could basically consider the living room as mine as well. It had two couches in front of a big flat screen. By the balcony door stood a workout bench and weights. Barbell, plates, dumbbells, and that kind of stuff. Apparently it wasn’t Ethan’s but his uncle’s, but that didn’t really make a difference here and now.

Moving my stuff only took a few runs up the stairs, so we were soon back in the truck, returning it to the rental place. Ethan really didn’t have to come with me, but he said that this would probably be the last adventure for a while, and decided to come along.

“You’re supposed to buy pizza and beer for everyone who helps you move, right? What do you fancy?” “I’d like… You know what? We’re not going to get out much, and you don’t look like someone on a strict diet. Oh, no offense!” “None taken.” “How about we both keep healthy macros and workout regimen while locked up. Instead of paying rent you can help me make sure I at least isn’t in worse shape when all this shit ends.” “Macros?” “Diet.” “Sure I can do that, if you show me what to do.” “It’s a deal then. I’d like one with Gorgonzola and ham.” “Come again?” “The pizza topping. I’m allowed one cheat day per pandemic.”

The pizza place was only a block away from the apartment. Just this one time it was great, as we walked back with one quattro formaggi and one bresaola. But it would be so much harder to eat whatever Ethan had in his plans knowing a real wood fire oven pizza was just four minutes walk away.

Unprompted Ethan started to tell his story over pizza. How his father was a successful businessman in Arkansas, but his hometown always felt too small for him. He talked about how he was making synth music in school. How that made him interested in computers. How, since it was such a small town, he had ended up on the football team without any desire or skill to actually play the game. How he had almost by accident found this education program and had looked forward to both leave Arkansas and to study. I too did a year be year recap of my life so far, up to how my girlfriend dumped me just before the summer. In a way that was lucky, because it made me feel free from obligations and actually do what I wanted.

It was 9:21 when I woke up from a knock on the door. I was a bit disoriented for a second until I remembered where I was. I was sleeping in the guest bed left by Ethan’s aunt. After the pizza we did continue to talk over beer all evening, but I didn’t feel any hangover. Just thirsty. It wasn’t that early in the morning anymore on the other hand. “Yep” I called out. “I’m making breakfast,” Ethan called out from the other side of the door. “Coming”.

It literally only took me seconds to get ready. Stand up. Sweatpants. T-shirt. Done. In the kitchen I saw Ethan had a similar fashion sense, but had gone for shorts instead. “Porridge is fine with you? It would be good if it is. Lots of fibers.” I couldn’t really recall if I liked porridge and told him as much. The porridge itself didn’t taste much, but with toppings I could get used to it. “With our schedule in our own hands I think it would be a good idea to start out with breakfast and work out. That way we can get it out of the way.” Sounded sensible enough.

I changed into shorts as well and made myself ready to do my part of becoming Ethan’s gym buddy. At a quick glance we didn’t look that different, Ethan and I. On one hand I never had that big of an appetite, but on the other I had never really done any sports, and had no gym experience, so I let Ethan guide me. He tested different motions and how many times I could do them with weights he selected and noted down the results in a notebook that would log my progress. It wasn’t at all as tiring as I thought it would be. “Oh, you’ll feel it tomorrow for sure.” We each took a shower, and I went back to my room to catch up on my reading.

A few hours later I was starting to think about lunch. More because I was getting tired of reading than actually being hungry, but I thought I should ask Ethan if he had a plan. The door to his room was open, but as I got closer it became apparent it was an oversight on his part. Splayed on the bed was Ethan, naked save for a pair of boxer shorts and a big VR goggles. His right hand was massaging his obviously erect dick through the fabric of his underwear. He must have followed his normal routine and forgotten I had moved in. I’m not a prude and do the occasional tug myself, like any student, so I was more embarrassed than shocked. As on autopilot, my mind decided to ignore Ethan and continue walking to the kitchen to assess the lunch situation, but another part of my brain decided to keep him in sight.

Walking without watching in an apartment I’ve been in for all of 18 hours predictably made me jam my toe into the door frame. In the corner of my eye I could see Ethan’s body spasm and ripping off his VR goggles as I yell out in pain and surprise. He stared right at me, eyes wide open and mouth ajar in an expression that was hard to read. Surprise for sure, but also something else in between horror and delight. Perhaps it was like the smiles and laughter after you have completely made a fool of yourself. My eyes were drawn to his, and I could feel my face twisted in pain. It was like time stood still, waiting for either of us to make the next move. Out of sheer momentum my mind continued ahead as if nothing had changed and blurted out “What’s your plan for lunch?” over whatever Ethan said at the same time.

“What?” and an awkward pause again. “I said would you like to try?” “I… What is it?”

Ethan put down the VR kit on the bed, quickly got up and stepped into his pair of shorts. His erection was still very much apparent. He pressed escape on one of the keyboards and the screen switched from one incomprehensible menu to another.

“It’s a virtual reality system. I’m using an open source environment system to render inputs from an interactive story engine controlled by a GAN AI system. I’ve been experimenting with regenerative NLP feedback loop plugins for it.” “I followed you all the way up to and including virtual reality system.” “It’s like a VR movie that is generated specifically for you. Here.”

He picked up the bulky goggles and held it out to me. It wasn’t just goggles, but a pair of headphones were built in, and there were a few additional sensors glued on. Hesitantly, and with a throbbing toe, I stepped forward and took the headset. It wasn’t as heavy as it looked. I put it on my head and as it settled into place a digital version of Ethan’s room wobbled into place as well. It was remarkably similar. The colors and patterns were all slightly wrong, but the layout of the room and placement of furniture was almost spot on. I assume he had measured everything at one point and put in the data somehow.

“Go lie on the bed.” Ethan told me. I very tentatively stepped towards the bed, and feeling my way there. It was somehow surprised to find a bed where the digital bed was, and although the visuals of the sheets didn’t quite line up with what I felt, if you just moved quick enough the illusion of actually being in the digital room felt very real.

“This is so weird.” “I’ll start a blank session for you.” “A what?”

Almost immediately a guy entered the room through the door frame. This must be some VR video recording or something because he looked completely real. About the same age as Ethan and I but more fit and, I’ll admit, better looking. He looked flush and sweaty, with his french crop unkempt as if he had just ruffled it. He wore a navy blue sweatshirt and sweatpant shorts. I couldn’t see further down from my position. “Fuck, that was so dope! I love getting pump like that, you know what I’m saying” He was stretching his arms in different ways. Then he zoned in on me, like he was actually looking me over. “Fuck, I love how you look, babe. Mind if I join?” I shake my head slowly. He breaks out in a big smile. I notice he has a bit of a sweatpants boner. Carefully he climbs into bed, next to me. There’s no vibrations of course, or heat or smell, but everything I see looks utterly convincing.

“Hey, are you OK?” “What the…”

I’m looking into Ethan’s face as he stands over me. Bewildered I pat my head.

“I removed it once the program stopped. Didn’t shake you from your sleep one bit. I guess it wasn’t that interesting for you.” “It was very convincing. I fell asleep?” “Perhaps moving stressed you more than you knew? Or it could just be, you know, how shit the world is right now.” “Fuck… I only wanted to ask about lunch.” “A bit late for that. It’s like four and something. Let’s wait an hour or two more and have dinner. Ok with you?” “Sounds dope.”

It was like neither of us wanted to talk about what had happened. I certainly had questions. Had I just fallen asleep like that? Perhaps he was right and I had been anxious about the move and how things would work out. And what was up with that program? It wasn’t gay, exactly, and it didn’t mean Ethan was gay, and if he was there wasn’t anything wrong with that. All of it was just so confusing. Perhaps Ethan was right to just pretend it didn’t happen. Poor guy. I walked in on him watching porn, and then I fell asleep when he tried to show his system. Watching the news on how ever more countries were shutting down was probably time better spent.

He had not joked about being sore in the morning. I woke earlier than in weeks feeling stiff as hell. I didn’t want to wake Ethan, but I couldn’t just lie there in agony, so I got up and did some bodyweight repetitions. Squats, push-ups, dips, and stuff like that just to get some blood flowing. It honestly felt great. Me doing morning gymnastics! Who would have guessed that a week ago? When I left my room I found out Ethan was already up, but didn’t want to wake me up.

“Dude, we need to sort that shit out. I’m ok with you making noise when you’re up. You live here.” “You live here too. What if whoever gets up first makes breakfast and wakes the other up.” “Yeah, dope. I’m down with that.”

We quickly worked out the kinks in our schedule. I would typically wake up first, do a quick workout routine in my room. Then set the breakfast and wake up Ethan. Then we would do workout together. We had different weights and number of reps, but we had very quickly settled on the same exercises, though Ethan was still adjusting my form ever so often. Ethan would then shower first while I did stretches. We then kept to ourselves until lunch. Ethan cooked for both of us. Depending on what we felt like and needed we would either go back to study or do something like shopping or that kind of stuff in the afternoon.

It was hard to keep track of time, but I think it was on a Sunday four weeks later when Ethan said during breakfast that he wanted to show me something he had worked on. He moved the workout bench and the barbell stuff to just outside his room and told me to lie down. The bar had no plates on it, and that’s how I’ve used it until two days ago when I started to add extra weight to it. Ethan emerged out of his room with the VR set in hand, and a trail of cables running in into one of his computers. “Here, give this a go.”

I was a bit surprised, given the last time, but I was also curious what he had to show. Once snugly fitted on my head I was transported into a real gym. It wasn’t a very large one, but a few people did their thing around me. He almost scared me, the guy with the french crop, when he called out “Hey, bro!” just to my left. He had the same navy blue sweatpant shorts as the last time, but his upper body was bare, glistening muscles. He took a step back and his eyes were scanning me up and down. “Dude, you look so fucking good! You’ve really been hitting the weights.” I smiled and immediately realized that I was smiling at an avatar that wasn’t actually there and couldn’t see me, but it’s amazing how good some positive reinforcement feels, even if it is from a program. Perhaps that was the surprise from Ethan.

“Here, show me what you got!”

He walked around me, through the couch I knew was there in the real room, and stood behind me. I leaned back fully on the bench and looked up. He stood over me, just behind my head, so all I saw was a navy blue bulge, some abs and pecs, and his face looking down on me. “Go on, I’ve got you.” I could somehow feel him standing over me. Was Ethan spotting me in the real world? Not that it matters with an empty bar. I grabbed it. It felt heavy. “Good. Give me 15.” He started counting as I lifted. “Slower on the way down. Keep control all the way. Ten more” As I was getting to fifteen he upped it a bit. “Come one! Five more!” As I sat the bar back I felt utterly exhausted. “Fucking awesome, dude!”

“You really went all out.” “What?”

I was lying on the workout bench but I wasn’t wearing any VR shit. I sat up and hit my head in the barbell.

“Fuck! Dude, what the hell!” “The idea was for it to be motivational, but you really took it to heart.” “It was fucking dope, bro. I’m so pumped. Guy was kind of cute too.” “You think?” “Fuck, yeah. I wish I had those pecs.” “You better start some supplements then, if you can’t even last a virtual session.” “What you mean, dude?” “It’s already lunch.” “Fuck dammit!”

I rubbed my head where I had hit it and looked around the room. It looked mostly like before, but the sun had clearly moved ahead. Fuck, I really felt pumped to get some reps in hard and really make a difference. Perhaps lunch, and then do my daily sets.

“You ok with shopping without me after lunch?” “Sure. You need anything?” “I… You said supplements.”

Fortunately for me I have a roommate that studies medicine, kind of. Well, he hasn’t actually gone to any of the classes yet, but he has the books, so he picked out some things for me to boost me. Some of it looked like medicine, in small plastic jars with scientific-sounding names that could just as well have been a frat house. Alpha-omega-manganese-BS-whatever. Some of it decidedly did not look like medicine. Enormous containers with lids that looked too fucking small, with names like amazing-gainz-ultra. He set up a regimen for me to follow, basically some stuff with every meal. I started right away that evening with something like a vanilla and chalk milkshake after dinner. I don’t know why, but something made me feel really good drinking it.

I slept fucking fantastic, and despite having done way more lifting the day before than ever I barely felt any soreness or anything. I probably woke up Ethan with my harder than normal pre-breakfast cardio. Lots of burpees and jumping jacks, so I almost felt guilty making breakfast while steaming sweaty, but whatever. Ethan had to remind me what supplements to take. I really should have written that shit down.

I had a strong deja vu while doing weights. It wasn’t until Ethan spotted barbell for me I realized that this was almost exactly what I had seen doing the VR shit. I looked up and saw Ethan standing over me similar to the guy, but Ethan was wearing grey sweatpant shorts and a red tank. I kind of wished he was topless as well, like the other guy.

“You ok down there?” “Fucking dope, bro”

I realized I must have zoned out a bit. What’s worse I could feel I rocked a hard erection out of nowhere. Rather than making a deal out of it, and run to the shower, I decided to pretend like everything is normal. Guys get boners all the times. He’s a guy, so he knows that. I even did a few extra exercises to really drive home that point. While Ethan took his shower I dared to lower my shorts and slowly stroke my dick. I haven’t cummed once since moving in with Ethan, which I realized was longer than I’ve gone in years. The days were blurring together. I hadn’t watched porn either since moving in. I’ve been too preoccupied with the move and everything else going on.

“All yours” Ethan said and closed the door to his room. I just froze. I was sitting on the workout bench, shorts by my ankles and dick in hand. He saw that. There is no way he didn’t see that. I could feel my face getting hot by embarrassment, yet I continued to sit there and stroke my dick. What the fuck is wrong with me. My mind flashed to Ethan, to the guy in the VR, to his bulge just above my eyes, to his abs to the barbell, to the free weights.

No. I got up and took a long shower, trying really hard to not think about anything. Just observing the tiles, the shampoo bottles, the soap. But there were the creeping thoughts that perhaps Ethan will find me a weird creep and kick me out. How would he do it? He’s been far too nice to be direct. Would he bring up this incident or would he just wait a week or something and over one lunch say something vague like we are not as good of a match as he hoped? Fuck. I needed to do something.

I couldn’t concentrate at all on the block on taxation I was supposed to read. Apart from the residual thoughts of unease I was beginning to see what a mistake it was to not cum in the shower. I was very close to surfing porn sites, but decided against it and ended up aimlessly browsing social media. I can’t really explain how, a hundred clicks that trended in that direction perhaps, but I got into the circles of fitness instagram people. Big arms, broad chests, and slinky stringers. Somehow I was hard again. Stealthily I walked back to the bathroom, locked the door, and started to jerk off in the shower. I’d been saving for a week and been hot all day, but somehow it took quite a while to shoot the load. My mind was a soup of barbells, Ethan, sweatpant shorts, vague old porn clips, and more recent instagram models. When I finally came it was like I’ve never orgasmed before in my life. Rope after rope shot out of me, the first few even hit the wall, and my hips involuntary thrust forward for each of them. I felt cleansed in a way, like a weight had been lifted from me. I couldn’t really understand why, though. Nothing had really changed.

I didn’t want to go back to my room and study. I rinsed the shower, got a pad and a pen, and went to the kitchen to get on top of the supplements. I decided to write down all the ingredients from the labels. I had just accepted Ethan’s plan uncritically. It’s probably fine, but I wanted to understand it. That’s where Ethan found me.

“Hey, dude. Already hungry?” “Yeah… No… I don’t know, bro.” “You don’t know?” “It’s like… Fuck. You saw, bro.” “Saw what? You jerking off?” He laughed and sat down. “You saw me doing it first.”

He was right, of course. I didn’t know how that could have slipped my mind.

“Was it porn?” I didn’t know why I asked that. I was curious, but it also felt a bit too personal of a question. “Yeah. Wanna see?”

Before I even had time to respond he continued “Let’s fill up your macros first and then I can show you. If past experiences are any indications you’ll take your time.” “Already jacked off today.” Why did I tell him that? “Even better”

Ethan had this ever changing dish where he would chop and fry vegetables like bell pepper, chili, garlic, ginger, onion, peas, and whatever else was around, pour in coconut milk and whatever spices you craved that day green curry or red curry for Thai, madras curry for Indian, Soy and miso for Japanese, anise and szechuan for Chinese, saffron and parmesan for Italian, and so on. Then serve it with pasta or grains or rice. I helped him prepare it, as I always do unless he started making it without telling me. This time however the air was different, filled with tension and awkward anticipation. He made it with chicken, lemon grass, and brown rice this time. We hardly spoke a word while cooking, and then continued to eat in silence. We both knew what was on my mind, and there wasn’t any question on the subject that wouldn’t be awkward. I was weirdly looking forward to trying out whatever it was he wanted me to try. I couldn’t explain why it felt so compelling to me. Just thinking about it made me hard. “You clean up here and I’ll go and set it up for you,” he said as soon as his plate was empty. “Yeah,” was all I could manage, and he left. I finished my plate as well, put the few things we’ve used in the dishwasher and went to his room.

His bed was made and on it was the VR headset and what I first though was a protein drink shaker. “Dude, is that a… fleshlight?” I asked him both with incredulity and genuine curiosity. Curiosity because a cable ran from it to one of the boxes on the floor that connected to his computers, and incredulity because I couldn’t believe he thought I would use one of his sex toys.

“Yes. No. Not exactly. It’s modified to connect into the haptic subsystem.” “Haptic?” “Force feedback” “It’s a vibrator, bro.” “Eh.. No. Well, not only. You’ll see.” “Why do you think I’d touch that, bro?” Though somewhere inside I knew I would. “It’s a brand new inset. You’ll be fine.”

I walked up to the bed and suddenly wasn’t sure what to do. I would need to at least lower my shorts and boxers to get the until-recently-fleshlight on my dick, but Ethan was still in the room. Not only in the room but almost studying me like a lab project.

“I’ll lie down?” “Got to strip first,” he said motioning towards my tenting shorts. He saw me hesitated and continued “Dude, I just saw you jerk off in the living room this morning”. I blushed and pulled down my shorts and boxers, and stepped out of them. “Shirt too,” he said. I removed that as well and stood naked in front of him. “Wow, you are making progress. Ok, on the bed and hook yourself up. Red dot up.” I climbed into the bed, as he told me, and grabbed the cyber-fleshlight and pushed it down on my hard dick with the red dot up towards my head. There was some sort of lubrication in it and it slid on with very little effort. It must have been heated as well, because the lubrication didn’t make it feel cold. I was given a nod from Ethan and put on the helmet over my eyes and ears.

The alternative version of Ethan’s bedroom was already there, waiting for me. I looked around and as far as I could tell everything looked like in the real world, except no Ethan of course. After half a minute, perhaps more, I was almost about to ask if he had started it when the French crop guy jumped in through the doorway, as if he was in a hurry. He was naked except for a pair of white, tight speedos that both highlighted his big package and created a reference point for his deep tan and made it look even deeper. There was a sheen over all his body, like he had been working out hard or oiled himself up, and he was breathing heavy. “Sorry, I’m late. I didn’t expect you so soon,” he panted. I didn’t know what to say. “You want me to help you with that?” he asked and nodded towards my dick. I looked down and saw a massive erection, easily twice my real size. “As an apology…” he continued.

“Yeah, sure bro.”

He made the cutest little jump of joy in response, and caught my smile. He composed himself and locked eyes with me. Then he started some sort of dance where all the movement was in his hips and abs. Then he added more of the upper body, still keeping eye contact. I thought I would hose him down with cum from my monster penis right there, so sexy was it. He smirked and moved closer. Still swaying he leaned forward and licked the head of my dick, which shot pleasure up my spine. He then started to circle the head with his tongue, before taking it into his mouth. The first few times were shallow, but then he stopped teasing and begun to really do down deep on the dick. In addition I could feel him alternate between stroking my hips, the insides of my thighs, and tugging my balls. Just as I was about to nut he stopped working on my dick and started to slowly run his tongue up my faint abs, circling my nipple. I was squirming in horny delight.

He was straddling me now, face to face. I couldn’t resist it any longer and reached to pull him towards me and kiss him on the mouth. There was a loud crack of plastic against plastic as our VR helmets collided. “Dude?” I was looking at the French crop guy who was moving his hands in front of his eyes. “Ethan?” I asked, suddenly realizing what was going on. The French crop guy looked bashful, did a little wave, and answered in not-Ethan’s voice “Yeah.”

“Did you just blow me?” “I wasn’t… No, it’s still the device.” I hesitated, considering briefly what this would mean. “Would you like to?”

73 notes · View notes

thanatophobia-thoughts · 3 years

Text

Moving on from Routine, let’s look at Emotional Self-Care. This is Self-Care that you use to improve your emotional stability. This is what Emotional Self-Care can take the form of (though I do not use all of these; I will talk more about the ones I use):

Comfort Food

Taking a “mental health day”

Napping and/or Sleeping In

Binge-Watching Comfort Shows/Reading a Comfort Book/Listening to a Comfort Podcast/Comfort Music/Comfort Video Games/Etc.

Long Baths

Venting

Reflecting on the Good

Meditation

Taking a Walk Outside or Hitting a Treadmill

Turning away from Social Media

Lighting a scented candle

Giving Gifts

Crying/Screaming/Emotional Outburst

Breaking Breakables

Playing with and/or Petting a Pet or Animal

Telling Other People You Don’t Want To Interact With Them (Right Now)/Boundary Setting

Taking care of Plants

Journaling

Cleaning

Treating Yourself (non-food)

Every time I googled “emotional self-care”, I got some things like “set boundaries”, “learn to say no”, and “create a support system” – all of which are very good things, but they don’t really fit the quick regulation criteria that I’m going for here.

So, which of these do I personally use? Comfort Food, Mental Health Days, Sleeping In, Comfort Media, Venting, Reflecting on the Good, Meditation, Hitting a Treadmill, Scented Candle, Giving Gifts, Crying, Animals, Boundary Setting, Cleaning, and Treating Myself.

I’d take care of plants but right now I don’t have a good space for plants.

I’ll look at comfort food last, because I have a list of food.

Mental Health Days, I usually try to schedule ahead of time, around days or times I know are going to be hectic. I know that after a convention, for example, I need “cooldown days”, so usually I will take the following Monday-Wednesday off from work to cooldown from the convention.

If I don’t know ahead of time, I do feel comfortable enough to call in sick, but I vastly prefer being able to plan it, simply because of who I am as a person. It is sometimes a necessity. Sometimes there is just too much going on, and I need to step away from everything. Usually on these days, I will sleep in, or sleep for most of the day, with the promise to go back to normal tomorrow – and that is how it should be.

These are tricks to put you back in line in caring for yourself! To get you back to normal!

Now, most weekends I do sleep in a little. I wake up every day at 6am, so on weekends, I will absolutely let myself sleep in to like, 9-11. It’s a good thing I have this blog on a schedule.

Binge-Consuming Comfort Media: I do not consider this the same as observing New Media, because often for me that is a Personal Self Care, and not necessarily Emotional Self Care. It can be, but more often than not, it gets my thinking fired up and engages me in a wholly different fashion. For example, I consider playing Final Fantasy XII to be a “comfort game”, but I will not consider playing Elden Ring for the first time to be “comfort”, so much as Personal, because the former I have already done, while the latter is something new and is creating new experiences for me. One regulates my emotions, the other does not do so in a foreseeable fashion. In new games, I do not know the experiences I will have, whereas with old games, I can predict them.

I will usually use Binge-Consuming Media in downtime that I have nothing else to fill, but do not have the energy to try something new right then (usually with the promise that I will return to new things in the near future, usually the following day when this happens on a weekend, or the next weekend if this happens on Sunday). Binge-Consuming Media also tends to occur normally on Weekday Evenings, as I tend to lack any desire for new media after work. It thus helps me to stay in a calm mood throughout the night, and prepares me for the next day of work by maintaining mood, rather than changing it.

Venting has to be done with care; I have friends I can vent to, but the vast majority of them only end up aggravating me more when I vent to them. Venting is something I tend to reserve for after I’ve figured out what I’m going to do, and I just need someone else to know my pain, because very rarely are people actually able to give me decent advice. Yet, venting is still useful because it lets me finally express it, and lets other people into my life, which is healing, and allows me to move forward without feeling like I’m keeping a secret.

Akin to that, reflecting on the good is a bit more of a solitary action, but it’s useful to remember that a “bad day” isn’t a bad life. To think of the people who love me, to think of the good things that did happen, even amidst the bad, and to remember there are more good things to come. After a particularly bad day at work, remembering good things, good phone calls with customers, and just good people, is always helpful, and can prepare me to continue through the rest of the day.

Meditation is something I try to do every day, and I do feel that it helps me focus on the moment, as well as helps me work through my thoughts when I’m not meditating.

Back when gyms were safe, hitting the treadmill was great for days I just couldn’t fucking convince myself to do my weight training. It still got me in the gym, it still got me exercising, and it helped me beat out the anger while listening to a podcast or music. I felt like I could breathe. I miss this, a lot, and I look forward to being able to return to this, or getting the “Just Dance” games for my home so I can do a similar thing, without going to the gym. I was then usually able to resume weight lifting the next day – and it kept me from breaking my streak of going to the gym, back in the day.

Aromatherapy is just a thing. I enjoy it, it helps me, and I love candles, haha.

Giving Gifts is also something I like to do. Making other people happy, makes me happy, and this is often a surefire way to do that. It can be as simple as a bit of chocolate, it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Of course, I have to make sure I am financial stable enough to do that.

Crying – when I need to. Sometimes I will have to kind of force it, by putting on a movie I know will make me cry, because just bursting into tears from stress without additional stimuli can be hard, but once it’s done, it is so relieving, and it allows my brain to start to function again without feeling as much in a daze.

It’s true I do have pets, and they’re kind of around me everyday, so this is more of a routine one – the animals are a constant source of comfort, but if you don’t have pets, visiting a pet store may be beneficial to give their animals a bit of affection, or going to an animal shelter. Or perhaps watching cute animal videos if those aren’t options.

Boundary Setting is also important. While sometimes, it can be good to help others when you’re going through a thing – I find it helpful sometimes – at other times it is just too much. Being clear on that, and also giving your friend some idea of when to “check in”, is good. It also lets your friend know a bit of a time period, so they know it isn’t a permanent block on conversing. Being open and clear about your situation can only do you good when it comes to your friends – and checking in with them when you’re ready!

Cleaning is oddly enough something I do when I’m preparing for something that is Good. I feel like I must cleanse the area in preparation of the New Good Thing. I will do this when I buy a new gaming console, or a long-awaited game, for instance. It makes things feel fresh and rejuvenated. It lets me walk into the New Thing as if it is a New Thing, and it starts it off on good footing. Some of the anxiety and anticipation of it, is quelled.

Treating Myself, when it’s non-food items, is usually things like clothing for me, or new PJs lately. I will also invest in books I plan to read, one day, eventually, cute Star Wars things, shows and/or movies to watch that are new, or things that generally speaking bring joy into my life. Sometimes emotional regulation, is also about reward. If you’re doing good in your life, you absolutely SHOULD be rewarded for it! Otherwise, why bother with balance and moderation? Why not live a hedonistic lifestyle? That would be far more pleasant if balance and moderation don’t have rewards. Not all emotional regulation is just to stop being sad, it’s also to be vindicated and celebrate good events. Celebrating IS regulating, when it calls for it, obviously. So I’m not encouraging here spending your money on whims because you are sad, but spending it more when you’re happy, and doing good.

And then we get to Comfort Foods. What do I use for comfort foods?

Chipotle Gouda Pasta Salad

Lime-Chipotle Pasta Salad

“Chicken” Fried Steak (Scare quotes because I’m a vegetarian so it’s fake meat)

“Tuna” Salad

Cheesecake, particularly raspberry white chocolate, or turtle.

Ice cream, particularly from Cold Stone, but usually either Rocky Road or Raspberry with Chocolate Chunks. There’s also Love Potion #9 which I have to drive a significant distance for….

Extra Lattes (note the extra – I already have these planned in with my meal plans).

Hot Chocoalte

Potatoes O’Brien and Gravy

The idea behind Comfort Food: Eating tasty food often restores a mood, or at least puts us in a better mindset. They aren’t always the healthiest things, though they aren’t necessarily unhealthy. They have to be done in moderation, as you see I indicate with lattes it’s “extra” lattes that go on the comfort food side. I usually have two decaf lattes a week, one on Wednesday, and one on Friday.

Comfort Foods are for a “limited time”. An extra latte means I don’t get one the following day, or I don’t get one every single day of the week. I take the comfort it offers when it’s needed, and resume my usual drinking habits.

Things like Pasta Salad are for weeks when I need a bit of help, or when I’ve done good, because they’re multiple serving things. So like, my birthday week, eating a pasta is good. Or a week where everything went to hell, and I can’t focus on making something “new” and I just need to eat – but then it’s right back to normality after that week. This is not have pasta for an entire month, this is a way to set intentions, and work on orienting myself back to normal with food I love, and food I can make with my eyes closed.

Single-serving things, like cheesecake or hot chocolate, are usually Reward self-care. Like fuck yeah, I did great, I should give myself a little treat. It encourages my good behavior, and does not become an indulgence. It also ends up “planned”, and so the rest of the meals work around that indulgence so I don’t go overboard with it, either.

Knowing what foods, and what I use them for, helps me to use them when they will be most beneficial for me. Things like “extra lattes” also makes me think: Do I really want to do this now, or wait until the day I’m going to have it? Is there a reason I need it now? What will I do after I have it? How does this impact everything else in the balance?

So these are kind of the “quick trick�� emotional self-care tools I use. Obviously, you should try to have a steady way of regulating your emotions, but shit happens. Cars break down, work days suck, friends are angry, people die…we need to have tools to get “back to normal”, or close enough to normal.

And you should also, absolutely, take time to treat yourself in self-care! If you don’t reward yourself, what’s the point in being “balanced”, and not just living a hedonistic lifestyle? That’s why comfort food as rewards is a thing! It’s why you can use these as rewards, if it helps, for doing good!

These are just what I do, and what I suggest. These are ideas to get you thinking about what you could put on a list, and how that could help you. If these same ideas work for you, great! If not, you just have to feel out yourself to determine what will help you! Brainstorm with your loved ones!

#self care #self-care #emotional self care #emotional self-care #self-care list #death anxiety help #death anxiety #existentialism help #existentialism #self-care ideas #self care ideas #self care list #emotional regulation #emotions

56 notes · View notes

victoria-daydreams · 3 years

Text

Of Vices and Virtues

Chapter Six: Training Day

AN: Happy Black History Month! What better way to start this month than updating a black fanfic, which reminds me to say go support other black fanfic writers on Tumblr. And do yourself a favor and read up on figures other than MLK Jr. and Rosa Parks.

Trigger Warnings: none

Word Count: 3.0k

Taglist: @azayamari

Chapter Seven: Specialty

We were in the library, it was a huge room with an open interior, lined with walls of books and several nooks to sit and read in. Charles and Erik wanted to explore my empathic abilities further. I picked at the loose strand of my shirt remembering the disgust on my face about the plain attire I'm wearing. I lifted my head, my eyes meeting Erik's and we began to play a game, pointing out the ostentatious items in the room with our eyes. A bronze lion head. Awards from Charles' ancestors. Ridiculous looking portraits. An antique cigar box.

"Do you know the extent of your empathic abilities Claudia?" Charles asked curiously, sitting across from me in a sofa chair, ending our game.

I turned my attention to him, "No Charles, people do not volunteer to see the extent of my powers. Being able to manipulate emotions tends to unnerves people," I quipped, smiling.

"I'm surprised, I thought that's what you do regardless of how people feel," Erik stated, peering out the library window.

"Erik," I gasped mockingly, and put my hand on my chest as if I was offended. "Your lack of faith in me, wounds me," I finished jokingly.

Erik snickered before turning around and walking to where Charles and I were sitting, "What do you know that you can do?" he questioned, as he lowered himself into the chair next to Charles'.

"Sense, feel and understand emotions, feelings, hopes, dreams, desires, and fears of others," I listed simply, shrugging my shoulders. "I can create illusions also. So, as you can tell manipulation is my specialty," I answered, spreading my hands out in front of me.

"Do you mind if you show me?" Charles asked curiously.

"You're joking right?" I chuckled in disbelief, arching my brow at him. "When I get inside people's head like that, the illusion can seem so...vivid," I warned, sitting comfortably in my seat.

"I can take it," Charles assured, adjusting himself in his seat.

"Well, it's your funeral, Charles," I joked, as I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax and shortly after he does the same.

I reopened my eyes and looked at Charles, as soon as his grip tightens on the armrest I knew the illusion was in full effect. I watched my illusion through Charles' mind. He had to blink a couple of times before realizing that his sister, Raven, was lying deadly still on the floor. A puddle of wine red blood was forming around her and all he could do was stare. He could even smell the metallic stench of her blood as the life left her body. He tried yelling, moving, even using his mind to call out to her, but it didn't work.

"Charles," I called, trying to rouse him from my illusion. "Are you alright?"

"Charles," Erik called, and firmly put his hand on Charles' shoulder which seemed to break him of the trance.

"Pardon me?" he asked confused as he shook off his daze, realizing he was back in his seat.

"Claudia was asking how do you feel?" Erik repeated what I had just asked.

I was intently staring at Charles to see if he was paralyzed in shock or fear. Or maybe both.

"Oh...well that was quite the...skill. It's both incredible and terrifying that the images were so-" Charles began.

"Real? Vivid? Seems impossible to have been fake," I offered softly.

Charles met my eyes and nodded softly as I began to pick apart his emotions. He had never felt so vulnerable and useless until my illusion and he hoped he never had to feel that again.

"Well now my curiosity piqued," Erik stated, smirking a little. "Your illusions, they're that powerful?" he questioned, looking at me intently.

A proud smirk appeared on my face and I leaned forward, "I could have the strongest man on Earth cowering in terror in a matter of seconds once I discover his greatest fear," I confessed, grinning widely. My eyes moved over to Charles, and found that he was already staring at me and looked to be in deep thought. He had a slight frown on his face and had been strangely quiet. "Charles, are you sure your alright?" I asked, concern lining my face.

"I'm fine really, I was just thinking, that's all," Charles explained, flashing a quick smile. "We've seen your capabilities with your empathic powers, how about your telekinesis?" Charles asked, placing his hands on his knees and pushing himself up from the chair.

A smiled beamed from my face once again, "Well, I'm glad you asked," I began, standing up from my own seat and clapping my hands together. "I'm going to need two mannequins for this demonstration," I instructed, before walking out of the library. "And come outside, it's too beautiful of a day to be stuffed up in the mansion," I called over my shoulder, as I left.

I opened the front door to the mansion and it was a lot warmer than it was this morning and I relished in the feeling of sunlight on my skin, small joys and all of that. The land around Charles's family home was even bigger than I thought. No matter which way I looked it seemed endless. I spotted a stone bench and I made my towards it, hearing the gravel crunch under my feet.

I sat down on the warm bench and closed my eyes basking in the warmth of the sun. The sound of footsteps behind me cause me to look over my shoulder to see Erik and Charles both carrying a mannequin. They both set them down from about twenty feet away from me and I stood up from the bench, shaking my arms out as I did to prepare them for what I was going to do.

Erik and Charles took their places beside me, I closed my eyes and concentrated until I felt a familiar sensation in my hands. I opened my eyes, my hands were surrounded by purple energy.

"And now boys," I began, lifting my hand up and one of the mannequin's floated off the ground, enveloped in a purple energy. "For my next trick," I continued, my eyes never leaving my target, with a pulse of telekinetic energy I crushed it my grip and it fell to the ground in a heap. I turned my sights on the second mannequin, this time lifting both my hands as the same purple energy encasing the limbs. I push my hands away from each other, ripping the mannequin apart and the limbs dropping to lawn. "Ta da," I sang, dropping my hands and glancing between Erik and Charles.

"That's incredible! Claudia, your control is amazing!" Charles commented happily.

"That all I can do for now, I'm a bit tired. But as you can see, I'm pretty adept with my telekinesis, and with your help..." I trailed off, looking between Charles and Erik.

"There's no telling how powerful you will become," Erik finishing my statement, with an excited grin.

"Why do you sound more excited than I am, Erik?" I questioned, with a smile.

Erik let out a short laugh before turning to face me, "Because with your abilities the possibilities are endless," he answered, a smirk on his lips.

~~~x~~~

"What are we doing in here?" I asked surveying my surroundings. The small, personal gym had the typical equipment you expected to find. At the front, were some weight benches with the bar resting above it. Behind the benches at the far end of the room held two punching bags, some sparring gear, and some free weights. "I've already did my fair share of lifting weights today," I complained, looking back at Erik.

After my awkward encounter with Raven and Hank I finally forced myself to work out. It hurt. A lot. To say my upper body strength needed improvement was an understatement.

Erik smirked, "We may have powers, but it's still very useful to know the art of hand to hand combat," he explained, as he placed a safety mat on the floor beckoning me over.

I nodded understanding why this was needed, attempting to improve my general hand to hand combat without the use of my powers would always be useful. There would be times when I possibly wouldn't be able rely on my abilities immediately and I would need to stall before being able to use my powers against an enemy.

"First thing you're going to learn is a basic punch," Erik began, grabbing my hand and balling it into a fist. "You not only need to know how to punch, but where to punch," he continued, lifting my fist to his forehead. "You aim too high, you'll hit their forehead which is the equivalent of hitting a brick wall," Erik explained, lowering my fist too his jaw. "Hit too low, you'll get their chin, also not recommended," he said, moving my fist to a higher place on his face. "The best place to punch is there nose or eyes that's where they'll be most vulnerable," Erik finished, releasing my fist.

"Where did you learn all this?" I asked curiously, letting my hand fall to my side.

"I was forced to teach myself how to fight, it was the only way I could survive..." he trailed off, with a faraway look before he suddenly lunged for me, tackling me to the ground being careful enough not to actually injure me.

"Hey! What the hell Erik!" I exclaimed, sitting up on my arms. "I wasn't ready!" I complained, before blowing a piece of hair out of my face.

"Rule number one, always be ready," Erik responded neutrally, but I could have sworn that the corner of his lips tugged upwards slightly into the hint of a smirk. "Did I mention places like the neck or the shin are also sensitive to impact. You should try it," he added cockily.

I glared at him, "You're such an asshole," I commented, as I got up and took a boxers stance.

Erik put his forearms up in front of his face and got into a defensive stance. I threw my first punch and I thought it was solid. I had a good arm on myself, apparently Erik felt otherwise.

"Come on Claudia, I've seen a sack of potato's hit harder!" he taunted obnoxiously. "Aren't you the same woman, who threatened to break a man's hand in seven different places," Erik reminded with mischievous eyes.

I quickly struck out at his neck hitting his jugular causing him to choke on his saliva, he lifted his hand to his throat, coughing hard as he rubbed it soothingly. I felt satisfied when he looked momentarily surprised at the force I'd used.

"Is that better?" I questioned mockingly, my lips curling upwards.

"That'll teach him for insulting and underestimating me," I thought.

Erik rubbed his throat one last time, "Claudia, that was not very ladylike," he finally commented, taking a while longer to reply.

"Lucky I'm a mutant then," I retorted, a smirk still on my face.

Immediately, I swung out my left hand attempting strike harder. I went to punch his abdomen, but he caught my hand and I drew back my foot kicking him in the shin. Erik caught a hold of both of my upper arms. My leg flew out to deliver another kick but he released my right arm just in time to catch my foot.

He tugged at my foot causing me to topple over onto the mat, he followed, dropping onto the mat into a position where he trapped my body with his own. I laid flat on my back on the mat staring up at Erik who had me pinned down with his legs that were on both sides of my thighs and his arms planted on the mat, level with my head. Staring up at him, I felt heat crawling up my neck and spreading to my cheeks as I became extremely self-aware of the position we were in.

And now being this close to Erik it made me realize that his mesmerizing irises actually had a bit of gray in them. Those stormy blue gray eyes stared down at me with such an intensity that a shiver ran up my spine. But yet I couldn't look away; his captivating gaze was somewhat beautiful, in a terrifying way. His eyes held mine much like the eyes of cat held those of a mouse. And like a mouse, I didn't move.

I felt the most peculiar sensation run through me, it felt as if my whole body was aflame. We stayed like that for half a second longer than necessary, stuck in our own world until the sound of Moira and Charles talking from afar brought us back into reality causing Erik to jump up and away from me before quickly pulling himself to his feet.

"Not bad for your first day," Erik began, clearing his throat as a way to clear the awkward tension that fell between us. Erik offered me his hand, I accepted his hand allowing him to help me upright. "But there's definitely numerous areas to improve on," Erik continued, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, and momentarily avoided my eye contact. "You are nowhere near intimidating or threatening as you think you are," Erik jested, facing me again with a shit eating grin on his face.

"You're insufferable, Lehnsherr,"

~~~x~~~

I stood in the doorway, half in the library and half in the hall outside watching him. Charles was sitting before the fireplace, an old novel resting in his lap as he read. The sunset sunlight brightened the room from the window behind his chair, and the sound of the other mutants' conversation from the dining room could be heard from somewhere down the hall. It didn't look like he wasn't really paying attention to the words on the page in front of him, but rather skimmed the familiar text absentmindedly while his thoughts wandered elsewhere.

I rapped quietly on the door frame and Charles glanced up, closing the book at the same time. He gave me a small smile and I made my way into the room and sat next to him on the sofa, offering a smile in return.

"I must thank you for your help today Claudia," Charles stated, placing his book down next to him. "Not a good first day, the results we had got today have been less than spectacular, but your help was greatly appreciated,"

"Is that so?" I questioned, lifting my feet from the floor and onto Charles' lap. "I really didn't do much," I reminded, with my arm resting on the back of the sofa.

Charles looked down at my feet and then back up to look at me, a smile on his face from my action and I merely shrugged returning his grin. What can I say, those shoes made my feet hurt. Charles slowly removed my flats one at a time and placed them on the wooden floor with a light thud, his hands slowly massaging my feet and I flexed my toes out.

"Nonsense. You being there for moral support was a big help today. Especially with Alex," Charles explained, moving his thumbs up and the soles of my foot, which felt heavenly and I let my eyes flutter close. "And me," Charles added quietly.

My eyes widened slightly, "Really?" I began, tilting my head. "I would've never guess that from you Charles. You always seem so cool, calm, collected. Not to mention perfect," I stated smiling, just as Charles pressed circles above my heel and I tried not to let out the moan that was threatening to come out.

"Well, no one's perfect Claudia," Charles commented, massaging my left foot now. "My confidence was a bit shaken after Alex's training, but after hearing and listening to your reassuring words...you took away the fear that I have about failing these kids," Charles explained looking up at me, his face illuminated by his million dollar smile.

His hands moved upwards slowly running both thumbs over the center of the sole of my foot.

"Speaking of fear..." I trailed off and Charles brought his eyes back to mine. "I make you uncomfortable," It is not a question, it is a statement. It's ironic that I should make a telepath uncomfortable, since our powers are uncannily similar.

Charles' hands faltered over my foot, "That's absurd, Claudia," he lied, but I can feel it in him, the roiling discomfort, the wish to get away from someone who can take and see and judge his worst memories with just a glance in his eyes. "I merely wish to help you hone your empathy," he reasoned.

"Did I forget to mention I can tell when a person is lying," I mused, causing Charles' hands to falter again. "It wasn't my place, but I wanted to know how you were doing after my illusion," I disclosed, and his hands stopped moving. "I left you feeling vulnerable, and I feel awful about it. I feel awful that I make you uncomfortable and I'm sorry," I apologized, gazing at Charles momentarily before looking away and pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

Charles pulled my legs, dragging me closer to him and I let out a yelp at the sudden movement. Turning my head to him I noticed our proximity to each other, we were intimately close.

"I will admit that your illusion earlier today unnerved me, but I'm not uncomfortable around you, just the opposite actually," Charles clarified, as he cupped my face. "I am the most comfortable when I am in your presence, Claudia," he confessed, before leaning down and pressing his warm lips to my forehead.

Chapter Eight: Fun & Games

#x-men fanfiction #black fanfiction #x-men fanfic #charles xavier fanfiction #charles xavier x oc #black!oc #magneto x oc #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #erik lehnsherr fanfiction #erik lehnsherr x oc #black!reader #x men fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine

54 notes · View notes

elliewritessometimes · 3 years

Text

IT’S @mattieswheelers BIRTHDAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELY WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH

beCAUSE of this, myself and @notsomightymightytiger decided to steal tea leaf’s time travelling mattie au and create a whole entire fic with their ideas and also a design that @ari-is-anxious did a while back!! hope you enjoy aaaaaaa <3333 aLSO stabbies try and spot as many starboard references as you can heheheh

this can be read on ao3 here if you prefer the format :)

tw: swearing, murder (it’s minor and resolved tho jsgh), religion (nicco my love read with care), blood, i really hope i haven’t missed anything please do let me know if i missed anything

Mattie had always been able to time travel. For as long as she could remember, her walk-in wardrobe had been lined with silver metal and held no clothes at all. As a child, this made it all the more exciting, though as she grew older and actually started to want to own clothes, it became a little inconvenient. She supposed all great inventions came with some kind of sacrifice.

Her uncle had made the time machine as a gift when Mattie was born. Her parents, like any basic adults, assumed the wardrobe-sized box was simply a toy and had taken no interest in it. Mattie, from the age of about three when her curiosity had really set in, was the one who discovered that the machine was in fact a working portal and not just a children’s toy. Since then, she had been happily travelling time and space during the darkest hours of night.

(You may have entirely valid concerns about a three year old having full access to time travel - luckily, not just for Mattie’s safety but also that of the entire human race, her uncle had set what were effectively child locks on a lot of the controls. These were diminished the day that Mattie turned thirteen. Uncle Calvin had always been a little weird, but he certainly wasn’t heartless.)

Usually, Mattie’s time travel didn’t affect her life. Sure, it made for some pretty awkward conversations as Mattie spurted some knowledge which could never have been explained through a textbook, but those could often be blamed on watching too much Horrible Histories as a child (“Mattie, I swear to God, you’re so bageling British, and yet you’ve never been there, I don’t understand.” “Horrible Histories is a masterpiece! You’re just jealous that you’re too American to have seen it.” “Actual asshole of a child.” “Farrah-!”).

It was going well until Mattie’s freshman year at Giles Corey. And then three of her fellow highschoolers were murdered. And suddenly Mattie had a way to prevent that from happening.

In some stroke of luck, she passed out at the sleepover and didn’t find out about the murders until she was sitting in the back of a cop car, driving to her house to pick up her things. She remembered thinking how weird it was that she wasn’t being taken straight to the station, but brushed that away in favour of ‘going into her wardrobe to change out of her bloody clothes’.

The time machine was cold like it always was and that forced her out of her muddled state quickly enough. She thought back to the victims. Chess. Farrah. Clark. Snapping on her goggles, she pressed a button, whirled backwards through time and space, and appeared at the gate to Riley’s neighbour’s house.

She really wished that she had actually changed her outfit - the damp blood turned cold with the breeze and sent shivers up her spine. The smell perhaps or just her sudden appearance startled the neighbour’s dogs into a frenzy. A figure, Chess, unharmed and merely confused instead of terrified, stood up from Riley’s bench, calling into the darkness. Mattie’s breath caught in her throat. The second figure, knife glinting in the dim streetlight, slipped out of the back door. Their red hair shone in the reflection of the knife with a sick kind of beauty.

Mattie could have stopped them there, taken the knife from the assailant’s grasp, prevented the tragedy of the evening. But she didn’t. She just watched.

Three minutes later, after arriving back in her present time and pressing yet another button on the wall of her closet, she watched the same scene unfold in the bathroom with a much younger victim. Twenty minutes after that, the third attack. This one was different though, an accident.

Still a little desperate and overly conscious of the police officer standing guard outside of her bedroom, she reappeared in her wardrobe, putting on a jumper before turning back time a little further. She appeared in a gymnastics centre as a girl around Mattie’s age did wolf turns on a beam. A coach entered the scene from the sidelines as the girl stopped spinning, her distinctive plait falling still against her back. Something in Mattie ached at the sight of Chess so lively and innocent, willing to give up her life for her dream of succeeding in her sport. As the two wandered into a side room, picking up water with a smile, Mattie edged forwards, collecting soft gym mats as she went. Within minutes, the area surrounding the beam had been double layered with cushioning, and Mattie could only pray that her plan would work. She’d seen enough YouTube videos to know what happened next.

Chess emerged again with her coach, hopping back up onto the beam with practiced ease. Again, Mattie was forced to just watch as she went down into her wolf turn, then rose up, did a split leap across at least half of the beam, and jumped into a twist to land on the floor. It was a messy landing, the gymnast’s ankle caving in on itself, knee twisting unnaturally in the air, before coming down hard onto her side. But, unlike in the previous videos, there wasn’t a resounding crack, only a weak cry of pain as Chess stumbled back to her feet.

Mattie grinned despite herself as snippets of conversation drifted her way.

“-not broken, don’t worry-”

“The Olympics seem out of the picture…”

“Get her a drink to numb the pain! Yes, limeade’s perfect-!”

Mattie arrived in her room again with a whole plethora of new information just inserted into her mind like it had been there all along. There was no longer and never had been a police officer outside her door. Her shirt was clean, her head undamaged. Chess didn’t go to the Olympics, but still did gymnastics in her spare time as her knee made a full and quick recovery. Farrah wasn’t dropped. Riley, in some weird twist of fate, went to the same therapist as Mattie. Life was… good for the Giles Corey Tigers.

Across town, the sleepover was still going ahead as normal. From what weird memories she just gained, Mattie knew that the team was at a rocky patch, their personalities still clashing in any iteration of the evening. But, with some relief, she knew that it would never in this timeline be bad enough for murder to even be considered as an answer. Her phone buzzed. The lies came easily as she covered up her mysterious disappearance from the sleepover she should currently be at.

Reese (school): Where are you???

Mattieeeee: I went home :( not feeling good

Reese (school): :((( that sucks

Mattieeeee: Ikr. I think it was the ice cream.

Reese (school): I told the others

Reese (school): They all say get well soon apart from Kate and Cairo who actually agreed on something for once haha

Mattieeeee: What did they say skjghdjh

Reese (school): “Tolerate the lactose, Wheeler.”

In her short-but-actually-quite-long-given-all-the-time-travel life, Mattie had witnessed a number of key historic events (and had caused about 85% by some small accident, but that’s a story for another time). The one which ended up unveiling her secret to someone in her actual life occurred overnight one February. Or maybe July. Depends. Time is weird.

She stepped into a small room, luckily through the doorway and not awkwardly through the window, as done many times before. A man sat hunched over a desk by the window, dressed in brown and using a pen-but-not-really-a-pen to craft a page of writing. From Mattie’s extensive historical knowledge, it could have been anywhere from 1000 BC to the 16th century.

“Hello, excuse me,” she began, “But I’m a little lost.”

The man startled, his not-really-pen skidding across the page and leaving a trail of thick ink in its wake as he blinked at her in the doorway. “Who are you?” He seemed perplexed as to how a young girl was standing there, in the opening to his room, in clothing not of any time now or before.

Something that Mattie had realised after travelling not only to different times, but also to a vast number of different settings around the world, was that somehow, she was never stumped by a language barrier. Instead she was always able to fluently converse with those she met in what appeared to her as American English. It was really weird; she tried not to think about it too much or it made her head hurt. She’d also learnt that it was best not to explain her full situation to her companions, becoming accustomed to pulling the classic ‘I’m not here, you’re just dreaming’ excuse. So that was exactly the tactic she applied here. “A dream figure. You don’t need to be afraid.”

The man narrowed his eyes, glancing down at the paper and then back up to Mattie’s face. “That’s a good line.” He scribbled her words down onto a scrap piece of papyrus. “Maybe I can use that later.”

Mattie grinned, sensing her chance to fuck up history just a little bit. “What are you writing?”

“How the world came to be,” the man explained. “God.”

“Ah, of course. The Bible, huh?”

“Pardon?” The scribe locked eyes with Mattie for the first time, confusion etched clearly on his face. She shook her head in response, having learnt that it was hopeless trying to explain events of the future to people who could never even begin to imagine the future that she came from. Seemingly satisfied, the man continued. “As the vision you are, I wonder if you’ve been sent to answer my queries.”

“Of course. Go ahead.”

“I’m struggling for a name. Not for the book itself, but just for this chapter.”

Mattie smiled as wisely as she could. “What do you have so far?”

“‘Generational Crisis’. The chapter describes how our world came to be - the creation of natural elements, the first humans, the beginnings of emotion. ‘Generational’ as it shall be carried on for generations, and ‘crisis’ as it’s a huge event, a crisis for the higher powers.”

Mattie choked. Her mind imagined a world where the entry chapter to the Bible was named as so, and it was a world of chaos and highly differing language choices. “That is very wise, sir. I have one suggestion: how about shortening it? Make it snappier, more catchy. I’m thinking…” She paused, feigning deep thought, “‘Genesis.’”

The man gasped, scrawling her word down at the top of the papyrus. “Genius! Thank you, child. I should write your name in my finished book, to show my gratitude for your kindness.”

“Mattie, sir, Mattie Wheeler. It’s been lovely to meet you and see your studies.” Over the centuries, Mattie had learnt to leave those she met with some kind of reassurance as the humane aspect of her hobby. “Before I go, I may be a dream spirit, but I can assure you that the work you have done right now shall be greatly appreciated for thousands of years to come.”

“You really are a wonder, perhaps a child sent from the power above.”

Unthinking, she snorted, replying, “Oh, boy, you are not ready to hear about Jesus.”

“Jesus? You mean my sister’s husband? I do hear some curious rumours about the man…”

Mattie hid her laugh behind a hand. Of course, this was hundreds of years before Jesus Christ came to be thought of. “I know, right? Jesus? More like JeSUS.” The scribe didn’t reply, mind clearly tired of its confusion and instead turning back to something it knew well. He picked up his writing patterns again. Mattie turned away, back to the doorway. “I will leave you to your writing again. Sleep well.” Leaving a small vial of dissolved sleeping pills on the desk, she stepped out of the door.

The only class that Mattie knew she would see Eva in was Religion. They didn’t actually share the class, but Mattie’s Religion teacher was Eva’s form tutor and the older girl often used the classroom as a quieter study area for her free period. Not that Mattie would call a class of thirty sophomores particularly peaceful, but apparently she hadn’t heard the noise of the senior study area, you genuinely don’t understand, last week Jacob Thomas tried to make toast using the sun on a desk and then, bam, the entire of senior year are creating chants about sun bread, it was so weird, Mattie, I transferred to a school of crackheads.

After her travel to the 7th century AD, Mattie sparked a sudden interest in her Religion classes. Eva, being the older sister that she was, watched closely as the sophomore stayed behind after class to search the Bible for something in particular.

“What’re you looking for?”

“Nothing!” Mattie didn’t look up from fervently turning the pages.

“Well, that’s a fucking lie.” Eva perched on the side of a desk, sliding across to snatch the book out of the younger girl’s hands. “Why the hell are you looking at what is essentially the movie credits for the Bible???”

Eva watched as Mattie bit her lip, eyes darting around the empty classroom. She thought for a long moment, visibly debating points in her head, before leaning over the top of the book to run her finger down a list of names. About a third of the way down the page, she stopped. Eva’s eyes followed her finger as it drew a circle around a certain name. Matte Wheyler

“See. I was looking for that.”

Eva didn’t say anything for a while. Mattie waited with baited breath as Eva’s brain tried to make sense of what they saw. “Mattie Wheeler, what the bagel.” It didn’t bother to even be a question.

“It’s a really long story.” Mattie slumped onto the desk as well. “Hey, did you know that ‘Genesis’ would have originally been called ‘Generational Crisis’ if it wasn’t for me?”

After a glance at both of their timetables, they decided that their next lessons (biology and latin respectively) were worth missing. Instead, they stayed seated on a desk in the Religion classroom, as Mattie explained in detail how her name came to be in the Bible. It was refreshing to finally spill her secret after fifteen years of complete silence, and Mattie wondered vaguely in the back of her mind if one day Eva might be able to share in her time travelling adventures. That might take a little more explaining though, because Eva sure did have a lot of questions.

“So, you don’t change anything?”

“Not anything major. Like, I can’t stop Hitler or anything, that would change too big an event. Little things, however, like names and stuff, it’s fun to mess around with. Ever wondered why the Italian city, Pisa, has its name? I delivered pizza to the guys who were kind of like the government at the time of its naming. Hence, the Leaning Tower of Pizza.”

Eva cackled. “Wait, what?! God, dude, that’s nuts. What the fuck.”

“What can I say, all I really want in life is a little bit of chaos and also mozzarella sticks.”

Mattieeeee sent a photo.

evanescence: is that??? abraham lincoln????

Mattieeeee: Abraham Lincoln was an otter.

evanescence: how so?

Mattieeeee: Point one: look at him.

Mattieeeee: Point two: no seriously. Look at him.

evanescence: oh my god

evanescence: i cannot believe you have a literal selfie with abraham lincoln that’s fucking wild

Mattieeeee: Perks of the job :D

evanescence: literally hire me i want a selfie with cleopatra

farrah o’satanic ritual: yall i got out of the shower like an hour ago and i still haven’t changed

Imposter: What can I say, bath robes are in fashion rn

farrah o’satanic ritual: ive told you before clark stop pretending you know how to dress

Mattieeeee: Farrah did you not die in the shower?

katherine: ????mattie???????

farrah o’satanic ritual: no?? i didn’t

SmileyRiley: dang it

katherine: riLEY-

caicrow: riley i thought we’d moved on from murder

Imposter: Plot twist: Mattie was the murderer all along

katherine: CLARK-

Mattieeeee: oops-

It wasn't meant to happen, she swore up and down it was a mistake. A true and honest accident. And it kinda was? I mean Mattie hadn’t intended for the scaffolding on the new tower being constructed in Pisa to wobble, she’d already fucked up Pisa once in her career, but… Well, that's what she got for letting loose Giles and Corey (her occasional time travelling companions, who also happened to be cats) in the middle of a Italian city in 1252. She could have sworn the catnip was safely concealed in one of the pockets inside her jacket (which was filled with all sorts of trinkets from her travels in the space-time continuum), yet somehow the two had still gotten into it. She guessed that's what she got for not hydrating-feel-greating and eating-to-defeating.

An old citizen eyed her suspiciously, taking in her struggle with the two cats. Or maybe she was just more focused on Mattie’s goggles - she doubted anyone in 13th century Pisa had seen such a bold fashion statement before. The tower continued to lean in the background.

Finally, Giles and Corey settled down, each in a pocket of her trench coat. Mattie breathed a sigh of relief, which only got halfway out of her before she was sucking it back in as the old lady from across the street began to approach her.

“Young lady.”

Mattie smiled sheepishly. “Hello, ma’am. Is everything alright?”

The lady looked mildly amused. “I couldn’t help but notice your two cats going mysteriously close to the tower before it started collapsing. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

“Oh, no, ma’am. My cats are very well behaved.” Giles gave a resounding yelp at exactly the wrong time. A hiss from Corey echoed from the opposite pocket.

“Well,” the lady grinned, “If that’s the case, why don’t you leave the animals with me? You seem fairly preoccupied with the tower - perhaps you can try and assist its reconstruction?” She held out a hand.

Mattie thought for a moment and then handed across the two cats. “Thank you ever so much, ma’am. I’ll try and be quick.” The woman nodded and Mattie sped across the square to the drastically swaying tower.

When she arrived back at the woman’s table, there was a second lady in animated conversation with her. As Mattie approached, she stood up to take her leave, pressing a kiss to the first lady’s hair as she left. Something was definitely fruity there.

“All fixed!”

“I’m glad.” The woman nudged the cats back to their owner, looking intensely over Mattie’s shoulder to the stabilised tower. “It certainly looks sturdier.”

“I should hope so.”

The woman narrowed her eyes. “Sometimes,” she said, staring pointedly at an area on the structure, “I think about crabs.”

“Oh?” Mattie tilted her head. “Do you?”

“Yes. And often when I think about crabs, I think that they shouldn’t be in Pisa, and they most definitely should not be crawling over the tower.”

Mattie gasped and followed her gaze, muttering curses under her breath. “I didn’t realise I’d brought a whole crab with me! I thought I’d taken the sea life off the rocks!”

The woman chuckled. “You seem to be a strange character. Child, where on Earth did you find not only rocks large enough to support a tower, but also a live crab in Pisa?”

Accepting her fate, Mattie decided to tell the truth. “They’re from Egypt.” At the woman’s questioning look, she expanded, “I’m a traveller of sorts.”

“Oh. Well, child, you’re a gift of a traveller. Brightened my day. Italy these days is far too serious. Maybe we should put more crabs on the leaning tower, huh?”

Tucking her cats back into their respective pockets, Mattie allowed herself to laugh. “Maybe we should.” With a nod and a smile, she wandered off, eagerly awaiting her portal.

“Why were you in Egypt anyway?” Eva asked as Mattie recounted yet another of her time-travel-gone-wrong experiences.

“Library of Alexandria.”

“Oh, yeah, because that explains so much.”

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes. “It was 48 BC, Caesar was burning shit, this random Roman dude set fire to the library.” She pulled a book out of her backpack. “I saved this and stashed away a few of the slabs of rock. And apparently a crab.”

Eva took the book in awe. “Jesus Christ… This thing is, like, thousands of years old…”

“I know, right? Weird.” She watched as Eva flicked through the pages, tracing her finger over certain words or illustrations. “But it was such a beautiful library, I couldn’t let it just burn. So, I retaliated. Burnt the house of the soldier who set the original flame.”

“Mattie!”

She shrugged. “Setting someone’s house on fire is a survival skill.”

“Oh my God.”

“I would have done something more dramatic, but I had to get home. I had a cake which would need to come out of the oven.”

Eva laughed, the sound echoing around the empty classroom. They were skiving class again, this time PE, the one class they had which coincidentally fell at the same time for both year groups. “How are you so normal in school, but so badass when you time travel?”

“I dunno. All I can say is that cake and spite are my only motivators.”

“You’re like a superhero. ‘Time Travelling Mattie: The Only One Who Can Lead A Dual Life Successfully’!!!”

Mattie blushed, shrugging. She definitely needed to take Eva with her one day. A superhero duo. “Okay, that name needs some work. How about: ‘Sanchez And Wheeler, The Ultimate Time Travelling Duo’?”

“I think I like the sound of that.”

“Yeah?”

Eva nodded, shaking her hand like they were signing a business contract. “Yeah.”

12 notes · View notes

queenofthefallenangels · 3 years

Text

Think Twice Part 15

Jon Moxley/ Dean Ambrose x OC X Seth Rollins

Rated: M

Warnings: None just sadly not much Jon.

Tag: @abadamn

Aria

My walk home was flooded by memories and flashbacks. Everything that I had still forgotten was coming back. Everything with Dean, from the kiss to my crush on him. He was the one who I always wanted to date, but I never thought he would give me the time of day. Back before we became friends, he was sort of a player. He had tons of girls on his arm. I was nothing like those girls. They were sexy and loved to show off their bodies. They had confidence in themselves. They also didn’t live in their father’s shadows all the time. They were the perfect girls for him. Now, I don’t even deserve him. His smooth freshly shaved skin had now grown into his beard. I couldn’t tell which I liked him more. I had to say there was something about him with a beard that I just could get enough of. Something about it just made him seem more masculine and manly. It felt even better down there.

I still couldn’t believe I had been fooled by him. He barely changed his look. It was how he knew my favorite flower and called me, kitten. The only other person to call me kitten was Dean. I rarely even heard that pet name outside of him and maybe a couple of books. It was why I felt special when Dean gave it to me. I was the only one that he called that. I was his kitten.

I sighed, feeling tears in my eyes again. I had gone home and changed clothes from last night into black leggings and an old baggy t-shirt. I didn’t bother to do my makeup. I knew I was going to be crying on and off all day. I called into work and took another day off. I knew I was going to need it after the morning I had. I wouldn’t be able to get an ounce of work done. I didn’t want to believe that what Dean had said in the letter had been true. Seth couldn’t have been a part of my father’s death, right? There was no way that he could. I hoped so badly that Dean was wrong about what had happened between them.

The walk to Seth’s gym felt longer than usual. I couldn’t stop crying the whole way there. Once I walked up to the building, I did my best to clean myself up, wiping my eyes before heading in. It had been in vain though, as soon as I walked into the class that Seth was teaching and saw him there, I felt like crying all over again. He had his long black hair pulled back into a low bun. He wore a shirt with the sleeves cut out of them and some blue basketball shorts. His attention was fixed on his students. I sat back in the back, trying my best to blend in. It had been a while since I saw him teach a class. Most likely right before my accident so over a year. It was one thing I could tell that he loved. It didn’t even matter what he was teaching or what age group, he loved to do it. Fitness was something he took seriously and he liked to help others take it seriously too. He always pushed me to eat better and join one of his crazy diets with him. He would say that there is nothing wrong with me, but it wouldn’t hurt to eat healthily. I always hated his diets, because he never believed in a cheat day. I craved all the foods that he never wanted me to eat. He would tell me how they have too many fats or it was too late to be eating that. I hated him sometimes for it, but I knew it was for my own good.

His eyes flickered to me. “Alright guys, I am going to let you off early today. You guys did some good work today.” He dismissed his class before he walked towards where I was standing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your class.”

He shook his head, “Nonsense, you are always welcome.” He said kissing my forehead. I did my best to not cringe at his touch. “Would you like to go to my office to talk about what is going on?” He said as he whipped a loose tear from his eyes. I nodded. He touched my waist as he led me to his office. On his way to the office, he stopped and grabbed a water bottle. He opened the door for me as I stepped inside. It was only a week ago, but it felt longer for some reason since I had been in his office. I didn’t want to think about what happened last time.

Seth crossed off to his desk, sitting on the edge. “So, what brings you here, Aria?” He asked before taking a big drink.

I opened my mouth, but it suddenly had become dry, “I found out some things today.” I took a deep breath. “How long have you known about Dean?”

He raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean Dean?” He asked his question carefully. His eyes stayed on mine. “I thought he was in Ohio or something.”

“Don’t play games with me, Seth. I know you know who Eli really is. That’s why you warned me to not go near him. I always wondered how you could possibly know him. You haven’t really been around the ring in a while. Unless that was a lie too. I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Watch your mouth.” Seth snapped. “I apologized for all the wrong that I have done to you. How many more times are you going to bring it up just to force me to apologize?”

“Until it sounds like you mean it,” I snapped back. “Why did you keep his secret for him if you are so against him? Unless,” I said as I reached into my bag. “Unless he had a secret about you that could ruin your chances with me ever again.” I slammed the note on the desk. “I cannot believe you would do such a thing.”

Seth took the note and read it. I could see the anger turn into something else. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it might be remorseful. “Aria, there is a lot you don’t understand about that.” He began, but I quickly shut him down.

“So, you killed him. You and Charles killed my father.” The tears were coming up again in my eyes. “How-how could you do that to me? Were you that hell-bent on getting control of me that you would kill the only family I had left?”

He shook his head, “No, of course not. Aria, this wasn’t about me trying to gain control of our relationship. This was about me protecting you.”

“Protecting me? Protecting me from what?”

“My father!” Seth said as he stood from the desk. He walked over to where I was sitting and got down on his knees. He was eye level with me. When I tried to look away, he forced me back to look at him. His finger hooked with the bottom of my chin pulling my back to his dark brown eyes. “He wanted to hurt you. Your father was thinking about leaving us and taking you with him. My father had a lot riding on this. He thought if he could hurt you, it would make him reconsider. I begged him not to do it. I couldn’t stand the idea of something happening to you. It wouldn’t be pretty. I wanted you to be safe. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“What about the car accident?” I asked. I was trying to put all the pieces of this puzzle together. I felt like I was trying to put two different puzzles together with no boxes, but all the pieces were in the same pile.

“That hit was meant for Dean. It was never meant for you. I hated myself that you got hurt by that.” He rubbed his thumb against my chin. “I never knew that you would be going near him that night.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I stood up from where I was sitting. “That doesn’t change the fact that you went after him. For what? What did he do to you? Was it because you found out about the kiss? His feelings?”

“It should have been,” Seth growled low. “It should have been all of that. I told you a million times to stay away from him. Did you listen? No. You said that he would never do anything that interferes with our relationship. Well, imagine my surprise when I am right that he would do something and you should have stayed away in the first place. This note proves it.” He said taking the note off the desk and throwing it at me. “Aria, all I have ever wanted to do is protect you from getting hurt.”

“Well, you should have protected me from you!” I snapped. “You hurt me in ways that I can’t begin to explain. You did it so easily that you would think that you enjoyed hurting me. First the cheating and now my father. Do you even see how this could hurt me in so many ways? Then hiding it all with your stupid lies. I wouldn’t have been even able to see all this if it wasn’t for..” I stopped. How could I be so blind to all of this?

“And, what if I told you that some of those stories about me cheating were made up by someone who was jealous that I got you first?” He crossed his arms leaning against the desk. “The only one that is real is Becky. That one I will say sorry for. The rest are lies.”

“How do I know that?” I said. I didn’t want to believe him.

“Well, did you have any proof? You had proof of Becky. It was right there on my phone. Which you would have never even thought of looking at, if Alexa didn’t fill your head with lies and tell you to leave me.”

“What are you getting at, Seth?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Think, Aria, Think. The same people who want you to think I am the bad guy are the same ones who lied to you and made up this whole charade with Dean being Jon. Dean basically tricked you into bed with him.”

I shook my head. “He said it was a mistake. He didn’t think it would happen.”

Seth tsked softly at me. “Of course he is going to tell you that. No man will admit they planned to trick someone into having sex with them. That would be horrible. Dean wants to be the good guy here. That’s why he makes me look like the bad guy.”

I froze thinking for a moment. Then I looked up at him, looking him dead in the eyes. “You tricked me. You have been trying to trick me into coming back in your office so that we can fuck and make up already.” I held up my hand when I saw him try to speak. “You are the bad guy though. I am not saying Dean is the good guy in all of this, but you still had a hand in my father’s death. I didn’t forget this. You tried to trick me. You are always trying to trick me. You killed my father and messed with my memory.”

“I also didn’t wear protection last time we had sex.”

I stopped, “What? What does that have to do with anything? I am on the…”

“Pill. You left it at my house. Funny, I don’t think that works if you don’t take it every day at the exact same time. It has been a long time since you were at my house taking it on the regular.”

“You tricked me again. You tried to knock me up!” My fist clenched though I was trying to resist the urge to smack him across the face. I couldn’t believe how stupid I was. How blind I had been to everyone and everything. I didn’t know who I could trust anymore. Seth could still be right about a lot, but it was hard to tell what was a lie and what the truth was within him. The lines were so thin. It didn’t even matter if he was telling the truth or not. He still helped kill my father and tried to trick my memory.

“Well, I mean we got a couple of weeks before the signs of pregnancy start. You don’t know if you had the baby yet or not.”

I shook my head in dismay. “I cannot believe it.” I turned to walk out the door.

“I am giving you a family, isn’t that the one thing that you always wanted. You always wanted a family.”

“You took my family away from me, Seth! You killed my father. I don’t even care why anymore.”

“It was an acc-”

“Save it,” I said, stopping him in his tracks. “I don’t care what it was. It was the worst thing you could ever do to me. Baby or no baby, we are never going to get back together.” I marched out of the office. I didn’t want to know the details anymore. It wasn’t worth the heartbreak over. I was better off not knowing why my father had to die.

Now there was a bigger problem, where was I going to go tonight? I couldn’t stand to look at Alexa after everything that came out. I needed some time away from everyone. I knew I would have to see her at work, but that was enough for me right now. I needed more alone time. I stopped at the bus stop so that I could get to the nearest hotel...at least for tonight.

#jon moxley #jon moxley smut #jon moxley fanfiction #jon moxley x oc #seth rolins #seth rollins x oc #seth rollins smut #seth rollins imagine #seth rollins fanfiction #dean ambrose #dean ambrose smut #dean ambrose fanfiction #dean ambrose x oc

24 notes · View notes

geminiamethyst · 3 years

Text

Momoharu Week 2021. Day 7: Talent Swap/Free Day

Warning: characters will be a little OOC but I’ll try to keep that to a minimum.

This takes place before the 2nd trial.

Kaito usually wasn’t one to run away. If anything, he’d rather stand on his own two feet and fight to see another day. However, this wasn’t one of those times.

He didn’t know how it happened, or why, but Gonta was on a rampage. Not a murderous rampage, but he had been running around and grabbing anyone he could get his hands on. Kaito tried warning Shuichi, but was forced to abandon him as Gonta carried him off the to Ultimate Entomologist Research Lab. Gonta seemed to had settled down, but only for a minute. Now Kaito was once again running from the giant. He ran as fast as he could. He was heading to his own Research Lab to hide. He had been keeping everyone out of it so far, so Gonta shouldn’t think to go there. If he does, Kaito will have to scare him off somehow. Without being over the top.

Kaito ran into the main building, just hearing Gonta starting to chase him. He’ll have to hurry up and get to his lab. However, Kaito skidded to a stop as he heard someone coming up the stairs from the basement. He waited until he saw a familiar girl with long dark hair that was tied back into two ponytail with a star hair clip and a skirt that had a constellation pattern. Maki Harukawa. She didn’t seem to notice Kaito as she had her nose stuck in a book that she took from the library. She was walking towards his direction, seeming to be without much care in the world.

Kaito didn’t know what to do at that moment. Warn Maki about Gonta? Or use her as a scapegoat to get to the safety of his Lab? Kaito didn’t have much time to ponder over that as he suddenly heard Gonta coming to his direction from around the corner. Throwing all of his dignity away, he dived into the girls bathroom, where he had been standing next to. Since Gonta was doing his best to be a gentleman, he’ll never look inside the bathroom. However, Kaito peeked through a slit in the door. Maki was still making her way towards his direction, continuing to be wrapped up in her reading. Kaito felt like if she got caught, it wouldn’t be his problem. However, something told him that he should spare her from whatever it is that Gonta was doing. Ignoring his original plan to use her as a scapegoat, when she got close enough, Kaito flung the door open and dragged her inside. The book she held landed with a soft thud as she dropped it. He held onto her tight, covering her mouth to muffle her surprised yelp. He quickly hushed at her, doing his best to hold her still as she struggled to pull away from him. Holding her steady, Kaito kept an ear out for Gonta. Maki seemed to fall still as she heard the giant’s footsteps as he walked away from their hiding place. They both held their breath, waiting patiently until they could no longer hear Gonta nearby. When the corridor went silent, Kaito breathed a sigh of relief. That didn’t last as he suddenly felt a harsh elbow jab him in the stomach.

“Ow! Son of a bitch!” Kaito exclaimed, immediately letting go of the girl that he had been holding. He rubbed his stomach as he glared at Maki, who was glaring a little herself. “What was that for?!”

“What are you doing, you idiot?! Are you trying to kill me?!” Maki shouted backing away from Kaito.

“If it weren’t for me, you would’ve been grabbed by Gonta!” Kaito argued back, ignoring his internal advice to stay calm. “I don’t know what the hell set him off, but I don’t think you’d want to be in his way!”

“I can take care of myself.” Maki sighed, brushing something off of her skirt.

“I can see that!” Kaito growled, rubbing the forming bruise on his abdomen. “You should be more aware of your surroundings, nerd!” Maki didn’t look impressed, but she didn’t resume the argument. She only silently turned on her heels and left the girls bathroom. Kaito stayed where he was for what felt like an hour when it was several minutes. He wanted to make extra sure that Gonta was gone. If Maki got caught, that’s no skin off his nose. He saved her once, he doesn’t need to do it again. He’s not a hero after all.

Kaito finally left the bathroom. He couldn’t hear Gonta nearby, so he was alright to go hide in his Ultimate Lab. That was what he thought until he looked down at where Maki dropped the book she previously carried. It was gone, meaning that she picked it up. Kaito shrugged it off, or tried to at least. He had still wanted to go to his Ultimate Lab, but something told him to check on Maki. ‘Damn it all.’ Kaito sighed internally as he changed direction. He went outside the main building, heading towards the dormitory. He scanned the surrounding area, keeping an eye out for Gonta and Maki. He would’ve thought that Maki was either caught or was now sleeping in her room. However, he spotted her out on the grass. He quickly climbed up a tree, hiding himself away from Maki in case she felt someone was watching her. She didn’t seem to notice someone spying on her. She was laying on the grass, flat out on her back. She was hugging her book to her chest. She was looking up at the night sky, seeming to be smiling as she was watching them. Kaito never understood anyone’s fascination with the stars, but he wasn’t one to judge people who were like Maki. He didn’t admit it out loud, but he was glad to see her looking so peaceful.

However, for Kaito, that peace was interrupted. He spotted Gonta again. The giant was skulking around, until he started making his way towards Maki. She was too fixated on the stars, not sensing the giant nearby. Kaito once again wanted Gonta to catch her, but he suddenly had the urge to protect her. He didn’t know why, but he just had that feeling. He waited until Gonta was about to walk past the tree that he was hiding in. When Gonta was close enough, Kaito jumped down, landing on his feet effortlessly, surprising the Ultimate Entomologist.

“What are you doing?” Kaito asked, unfazed by Gonta’s surprised look on his face.

“Oh! There you are Kaito! Come! Gonta take you and Maki to Insect Meet and Greet!” Gonta smiled, overcoming his shock.

“No thanks. I want nothing to do with it. And leave Maki be. She’s quite happy right now.” Kaito rejected, stepping back. He pointed behind him to show Gonta his point. “Wouldn’t want to disturb her, would you?” Gonta followed where Kaito was pointing. He spotted Maki and looked conflicted.

“No, but-“ he finally started.

“Do you wanna die?” Kaito suddenly asked, glaring at the giant. He wouldn’t kill Gonta, not really. But he did want to scare him off. And it seemed to work as Gonta suddenly turned pale, his frame starting to tremble. “Now be a gentleman and don’t come anywhere near her.”

“Y-yes sir! Sorry!” Gonta stammered, before he quickly ran away. He was going to the direction towards the gym. Kaito waited for a couple of seconds until he took a deep breath, calming himself down. He felt like he had just showed who he really was, but hopefully, Gonta won’t be smart enough to put two and two together. Kaito looked back out at Maki. She was still laying down, facing the stars. Kaito once again hid in the tree, watching out for her. She was vulnerable and wide open for an attack. Kaito did contemplate killing her, knowing that he might get away with it, but decided not to. There was no point in it.

Kaito continued to look out for Maki. A while ago, he notice that Gonta was chasing Miu only to turn tail after she stripped down to her underwear. The poor guy got flustered and ran off, most likely confused about what he should do in a situation like that. He then ran back to his lab, carrying Angie and Himiko back to his Ultimate Lab. After that, no one seemed to be out and about other than him and Maki. Kaito looked back at her, only to find her asleep. Remembering the night time rule, Kaito immediately walked over to her. She was going to get into trouble for falling asleep outside her room. He stared down at her peaceful, sleeping face. He was going to wake her up, but decided not to. He gently carried her bridal style. He went back to the dormitory, finding her room instantly. Her door was surprisingly unlocked. This took him by surprise as Maki didn’t seem like the type of girl who’d carelessly leave her door open. Kaito shook it off, putting it down to an accident on Maki’s part. He gently placed her on her bed, carefully taking the book that she lightly clutched in her hands and placed it on the bedside table. After covering her up, Kaito glanced down at Maki again. He was worried that she might wake up at that moment, but she was still blissfully whisked away into her dreamland. He briefly wondered if she dreams about the stars, being the Ultimate Astronaut after all. He looked at her face, surprising himself as he thought that she looked quite cute. As soon as he realised that, he shook off those feelings. He felt like a complete idiot for thinking that. But as he looked at her again, he felt...something...strange deep inside him.

Love?

Kaito grumbled at himself and left Maki’s room immediately. He made his way back to his Ultimate Lab, for definite this time. On the way, he was still cursing at himself. Stupid! It can’t be love that he felt, he barely knows the girl. He shouldn’t be falling in love anyway. Besides, even if he loved her, she could never love him.

Who would fall for someone like the Ultimate Assassin anyway?

“Ryoma? What do you want?”

“Kaito, I’ve come to ask about the motive videos.”

Day 1: click HERE

Day 2: click HERE

Day 3: click HERE

Day 4: click HERE

Day 5: click HERE

Day 6: click HERE

#momoharuweek2021

11 notes · View notes

sourwolphs · 3 years

Text

Like an Animal - Bucky x Reader (6/8)

Read on Ao3 (for better interface + formatting)

Summary: Reader is an enhanced Omega kidnapped by Hydra and trapped in a cell with Alpha Bucky Barnes. Tags: A/B/O, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending Warnings: Rated M, Self-hating inner dialogue A/N: I ended up writing this chapter from both Reader's and Bucky's perspective because I couldn't choose between them, and had to puzzle piece my favorite parts together.

A few hours after Steve left, Bucky found himself dozing slightly on the couch in his dark living room. He’d long abandoned his book on the side table, leaving an old black and white rerun of The Lone Ranger on mute on the TV, flashing light across his stretched out form.

When he’d first come back to the compound, before Shuri had removed the words from his brain in Wakanda, he’d spend many nights outside of his body, doing nothing just like this— the sound of the TV too overstimulating, words on the page swimming away from comprehension, unable to focus on anyone or anything for long. Instead, he’d just sit and drift, letting his mind go blank. Sam had called it “disassociating”— whatever the fuck that means. He hadn’t been like this in a few years— this out of himself— not after Wakandan’s powerful therapies helped him escape some of the more acute terrors of his brain.

He was startled out of his state by a soft knock on the door. He felt a flash of irritation at Steve’s overprotectiveness, before his hackles raised as he scented Y/N of all people faintly through the door. He jumped up in a panic from the couch, his socked feet silent on the floor as his eyes took a rapid inventory of his apartment. There was a sweaty pile of gym clothes on the other side of the couch that he first hurled into his closet. Then, he flicked on the lamp and the soft kitchen light, quickly looped his fingers through a few mugs cluttering the coffee table, and dropped them in the sink before he approached the door.

Without allowing himself to think too hard about why she was here— Did she figure out the gifts? — or take a deep breath— he opened the door.

Despite his held breath, her scent hit him all at once— a rush of spicy-sweet peppermint, the crisp, clean smell of snowfall— strong enough with its source right in front of him that it burned his nose a bit on the inhale. Bucky swore his heart skipped several beats.

She was dressed in a cozy-looking, quarter zip pullover and a comfortable pair of black joggers, just like the kind that Nat wears— functional, clean lines, hugging her form in all the right places. Her hair was slightly mussed, as if she’d just gotten up from the couch after a nap. It was so cozy, so domestic, it made his heart ache with renewed want. But underneath her sweet peppermint smell lay the warm and familiar newspaper-ink scent of Steve. Paired with her cozy, slightly disheveled state, it was as if she had just extricated herself from his arms to show up at Bucky’s door.

Bucky’s inner Alpha fought between roaring in possessive rage and wilting in cowed rejection, but he forced his expression into careful neutrality.

They stared at each other for a moment, neither speaking. Her facial expression looked stricken, and Bucky realized how weird he was being. He’d puffed out his chest without noticing— all Alpha instinct and posturing at the whiff of Steve’s scent— and he quickly readjusted, folding his form into a more relaxed lean against the door.

What do you say to the gorgeous Omega you violated, avoided for a month, and then left creepy gifts to when she shows up at your door at 10pm? Before he could mumble out something to break the awkward silence, she interrupted the panicked swirl of his thoughts.

“Hi,” she said. Her voice was high and tight, like she was trying not to inhale. Even Steve had said his apartment smelled. He felt shame curl tight in his gut, and he had to stop himself from closing the door to shut himself and his depressing stench away. “I’m sorry, I came here to talk to you about something, but I’m feeling kind of— dizzy?” Y/N’s expression looked dazed, and she started to sway a little on her feet.

Bucky’s Alpha instincts immediately kicked into overdrive, urging him to scoop her into his arms, hold her tight, snuggle her into his den until she was healthy and clear-headed. But now that she was here, the rational part of his brain was much more terrified at the possibility of scaring her off. Act. Normal.

“Do you want to sit down?” he said, swallowing hard as he opened his door further. Inviting an unbonded Omega into an Alpha’s den was toeing the line of socially acceptable— at least when he was growing up in the 30s— but she didn’t seem fazed by the invitation, nodding and slipping inside. He gestured towards the couch, giving her a wide enough berth that she wouldn’t feel caged in— surrounded by his scent as she was— and she chose to sit in the same, still-warm spot where he’d just been lying, sinking back into the couch cushions. Bucky felt equally satisfied and pained at the thought that her smell would cling to his favorite spot for weeks. He plopped across from her in the armchair where Steve had been just hours before, aiming for nonchalance.

“Sorry,” she said again, waving her hand next to her head. “I think I’m just… overtired or something.” She yawned, kitten-like. His Alpha roared inside him, fingers twitching with the urge to reach out, to touch, but he held himself perfectly still.

“It’s okay,” he said. “So…” He trailed off, clearing his throat awkwardly. Bucky Barnes, ladies and gentleman. God, he was a fucking loser.

Y/N took a deep, steadying breath, bracing her hands on her thighs. “I came here to apologize.”

——-

After the movie ended and Sam finished showing us 6 deleted scenes and 10 YouTube interviews, I finally slipped quietly out of my new blanket nest and away from the steadying comfort of the Alpha-Omega sandwich. I paced for a bit in the hallway outside Bucky’s room, gearing myself up for what would likely be an awkward confrontation with a man I knew well intimately but hardly personally. As much as I’d like for him to sweep me off my feet and into the safety and comfort of his den, he’d probably tell me I was delusional and that he was avoiding me because he wanted to be left alone. That’s why I figured it was probably best to start with an apology.

What I did not prepare for during my anxious pacing was the overwhelming Alpha scent that washed over me the minute he opened the door. It was like getting hit in the face by a truck full off pheromones designed specifically to reduce me to a shivering, keening puddle on the floor. Every clever thing I planned to say flew right out the window as I swayed under the strength of his gaze and the delicious cedar wood and bonfire scent that curled around me.

Inside his apartment wasn’t any better. I should have asked to meet on neutral ground, I thought immediately after stepping through the door. Everywhere smelled like him. Even the couch underneath me was still warm from where he was probably curled up before I’d interrupted. It took all my strength to quiet the dizzying rush of hormones in my head, breathe in deeply through my mouth, and spit out what I came here to say.

“I came here to apologize,” I said, gulping down the ridiculous, submissive words my hindbrain wanted to follow up with. I’m so sorry, Alpha. It wasn’t my fault. I can be better for you.

Bucky looked… confused. “Apologize?”

“Yes. Apologize,” I said, feeling my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I know we… did what we had to do. When we were trapped. And I’m sorry that I… reacted the way I did. I know heats are really intense. For everyone. I know I made you uncomfortable, and you probably don’t want anything to do with me.” I paused again, biting hard on my lower lip as my stomach roiled with embarrassment. I looked down at my lap, where I was digging my fingers hard into my thighs, and forced out the last few words. “But I couldn’t help it. And I’m sorry I went into heat. I think it was the purring. I’ve… never felt that. Before.”

I didn’t look up from my lap at first, wincing internally. Bucky’s silence after my lousy attempt at an apology hurt worse than anything so far. The least he could do is acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault.

I took a shaky inhale, and felt a lump build up in my throat. Goddamnit. Don’t fucking cry. Not now.

“I— This was a mistake,” I said, sniffling hard and willing the tears rapidly welling up in my eyes not to fall. I finally looked up from my lap, bracing myself to stand and backtrack the hell out of here, when I simultaneously saw the look on Bucky’s face and caught the scent of absolutely devastatedAlpha.

“Don’t leave,” he said, voice deep and rough, on the edge of an Alpha command. I froze instantly, though it wasn’t because he’d compelled me to. Alpha commands only worked on their bonded Omegas and their offspring.

No, I froze because Bucky looked… heartbroken. It was the only time I’d seen an ounce of vulnerability on his face, besides that moment in the cell when he’d first realized he was falling into a chemically-induced rut. My eyes flicked down to where his metal hand was fisted so hard in the arm of his chair that the seams were starting to rip.

Before I could blink it away, I felt one unruly tear slip down my cheek, though my own shame and embarrassment had taken a backseat once I’d recognized Bucky’s distress.

“I— Fuck,” he said. Faster than I could register, Bucky heaved himself forward, sinking down onto his knees on the floor in front of me, hands clutching at the couch cushions on either side of my thighs. Our eyes locked, and I lost myself in twin pools of grey-blue. His scent burned on my next inhale, sharp and distressed, the sour stench of guilt that lingered in the corners of his apartment.

“Why are you apologizing?” Bucky’s voice was a breathy, raspy growl. It sent a thrill up my spine, and for a moment, I didn’t register that he’d asked me a question. This close, I could feel the heat of his skin, see the stubble on his jaw, scent that delicious smell of him— like snowmelt, like the wind on your face, like a deep inhale at the summit of a mountain…

Bucky broke his gaze first, growling low and dark in his chest. “I should be the one apologizing. I should have already. But I—“ He cut himself off, lip curling in disgust as he leaned away from me. I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my chest. Alpha doesn’t want you.

I inhaled hard, suppressing a sob, feeling more hot tears run down my cheeks.

I needed to leave. Now. I wasn’t in control of my emotions. This was embarrassing. “Clingy Omega sobs in disinterested Alpha’s apartment.” What would the pack think of me?

I moved to stand up again, but the low-grade growl in Bucky’s chest sharpened, and he lurched forward, crowding me back against the couch cushions.

Before I could even register the aggression in his action, or even think to be fearful of him, Bucky had already leaned back out of my space and silenced his growl.

“Fuck! Sorry— I’m. Sorry. Don’t leave yet. I won’t—“ He cut himself off again, shaking his head in frustration, before standing up to put more distance between us again, moving to lean on the back of the armchair across from me with his head in his hands. He took a deep, steadying breath before speaking again. “I should be the one apologizing. Because I… hurt you. I told you that you were safe. And you weren’t. Not from me.”

When he looked up to meet my gaze, his expression looked tortured, but his scent was worse— ashy and acidic, hatred and guilt. Guilt? Why was he…

I swiped hurriedly at the tears on my cheeks, feeling the lump in my throat clear as confusion and exasperation took over.

“What are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine,” I huffed. Well, as fine as one can be when they’re pining over an Alpha who can’t stand to be in the same room as them. Maybe he feels guilty about Hydra restraining me? That’s the only logical explanation I could think of.

“Tony got the cuffs off right when I got back here, it’s not like you could have removed them. They were Terrigen crystal.” I shook my head, and once again moved to stand and leave as the futility of this conversation dawned on me. “Whatever. I’ll just go.”

This time, I got in a few steps towards the door before that low growl started up again and he caught my wrist in his right hand.

I should have been terrified. I should have been running for my life. I should have frozen him into the floor. I was an unbonded Omega in a growling Alpha’s den, soaked in a combination of our distressed pheromones, held in his grasp and unable to leave.

But despite all the reasons I had to roll over and bare my throat in fearful submission, absolutely no part of me felt scared or unsafe.

Bucky’s hand on my wrist was gentle. Not holding me back, but pleading for me to stay. And the feel of his skin on mine made something hot, desperate and dark curl within me.

His voice was rough when he spoke again, my back still turned half away from him. “In that cell. I… forced myself on you. You trusted me enough to fall into a heat, and I took advantage. You shouldn’t be apologizing, because you should hate me.”

When I turned back around, the raw expression on his face made my stomach lurch. He looked… devastated. Ashamed. Vulnerable. Afraid.

Feeling hysterical, I couldn’t help a little nervous giggle from bubbling up in my throat.

All this time, this big, dumb, handsome, superhero Alpha had really thought he’d violated me in some way. Me. The Omega who had practically rubbed her entire body in his scent, who had stayed up for hours yearning for his Alpha purr, who’d had sex dreams about him dirty enough to make a pornstar shudder.

“Are you fucking with me?” I said.

Bucky frowned earnestly. “No… I—“

“So you’ve been leaving me secret gifts because you felt… guilty?” I said, knowing I was putting him on the spot. Something about being in his presence, in his den, was making me bold— finally giving in after a month of exasperation, of chest-aching pain.

Bucky’s eyes widened, and he had the sense to look a bit sheepish, dropping my wrist from where his hand still encircled it. “Uh. It wasn’t—I was just— I’ll stop if you—“ he said, stumbling over his words.

His nervousness, I noted absurdly, was charming.

That’s when I suddenly realized that here, surrounded by Bucky’s scent, close enough to touch, I felt lighter than I had in over a month. The dull ache in my chest had lifted, and in its place, all I felt was an incredible sense of rightness.

Comfort Alpha, my Omega murmured, crawling back up from the recesses of my brain where I’d shoved her away earlier.

And, well, I was tired of fighting her. Fuck it.

“Bucky,” I laughed, cutting off his sputtering. “You— You didn’t force anything on me. We were both out of our minds. Hell— I’m still out of my mind! I’ve been pining over you for a month. My fucking chest,” I said, reaching up to worry at my sternum where the pain had been centered.

“You— What?”

————

As soon as Y/N had settled into the couch, and Bucky’s inner Alpha had registered that she was within reach, soaked in his scent and looking gorgeous and vulnerable, he’d lost it a little.

First— confusingly— she had started apologizing. Then in just a few, rapidly devolving moments, he’d (1) made her scent spike with anger and sadness, (2) watched helplessly as tears clumped in her eyelashes and tracked down her smooth cheeks, and (3) acted like a territorial knotheadwhen she’d tried to leave— as if he hadn’t fucked things up enough.

And now she was… confessing her feelings for him?

That couldn’t be right.

“You— What?”

Bucky recognized that absolutely no part of this conversation had demonstrated his intelligence. He was actually starting to think maybe the serum had given him early onset dementia.

He took a step closer to her, knowing he was pushing it by crowding the Omega in his own territory, but too overwhelmed to care. “But… What about Steve?” he asked. Just being within feet of her, he could smell the newspaper ink scent of his best friend still lingering on her clothes.

Y/N quirked her head. “What about him?” She lifted her arm to take a sniff at her shoulder, seeming to scent what remained of him on her pullover.

Bucky bit hard on the inside of his cheek, fighting a scowl. He wasn’t that dumb. “You two are… you know,” he started, shrugging to hide the hurt. “Together.”

An amused smirk tugged at her lips. “What, did you think I was canoodling with Wanda and Sam as well? The whole pack? Because I smell like all of them, too.”

And, well, yes. This close, Bucky could pick up Wanda’s muted cinnamon smell, Sam’s citrus scent, and even a splash of rosewater from Nat.

Then, Bucky noticed that Y/N’s hand was still worrying at her sternum. In the very same spot where he’d practically rubbed holes in his own shirts over the past month. He matched the motion dazedly, reaching up to place his palm over his own chest. That same nagging thought that had dogged him for weeks in the Brooklyn apartment fought back to the forefront of his mind. Bond withdrawal.

“You feel it too?” he said, his words coming out softer than he’d intended, disbelief coloring his tone.

Bucky watched as her snarky expression melted away, eyes turning serious and contemplative. She took a step forward, now so close that they were breathing the same air, and nodded resolutely.“All day. Every day. Aching. And—” She paused, a fierce blush rising on her cheeks. “Your… purr. I feel like I nee—“

Before his higher functions could process the words coming from her lips, Bucky’s hindbrain took control of his body. He crowded Y/N back into the wall behind them, his arms on either side of her head as he leaned in to take a deep, desperate lungful right at the scent glands on her neck. She tipped her head back instantly, baring her throat to him and letting out a breathy moan that sent his head spinning, her sweet peppermint scent coursing through his veins like the best drug.

In the morning, maybe, he’d regret this.

But right here, right now? Omega really wants him. Fucking finally.

The sight of her bared throat made his Alpha wild with need— the same trusting submission he thought he had abused before, now presented to him without abandon. He replaced his nose on her neck with his lips and tongue, and her body arched against his, their hips lining up. She keened softly, and his cock thickened in his pants, forcing him to bite back a gratified growl as he ran his nose up and down the column of her throat. Her scent was changing, taking on an earthy, musky note, like fallen leaves and wet moss. Arousal. He felt his mouth water, and he could scent his own aroused pheromones filling the air, mixing with hers.

Was he dreaming? This couldn’t be real. He didn’t deserve this— her trust, her want, her body beneath him.

But Bucky’s inner Alpha was crowing. The feel of her against him, her scent lighting his body on fire from the inside out— it stirred up the deepest, darkest, most possessive Alpha instincts buried deep within. Not Steve’s. Mine. My Omega.

Y/N snaked a hand up his chest, pressing her cool palm to the side of his face and nudging his gaze up to meet hers. Her pupils were blown wide, plush lower lip pulled between her teeth— almost shy. The look shook Bucky out of his mindless Alpha stupor. He had to be sure. Because once he was…

He pulled back slightly so she could breathe. “Is this— Do you want this?” he asked, voice rough with need.

“Yes.”

———

The moment the word slipped from my lips, Bucky finally let go of the tight restraint holding himself back. I knew he was desperate before, when he had his nose buried in my neck. And I could smell the musky, warm flannel scent of his arousal in the air— feel the hard evidence of it against my hip.

But as soon as I’d finally, finally convinced this stupid, perfect, frustratingly dense Alpha that this was what I wanted— what I had wanted from the start— he let out a mind-numbing growl that made my knees go weak and shaky.

Though I was at first anticipating a rough and frenzied claiming— especially after a month of needless separation— I supposed that with Bucky’s extreme handle on his inner Alpha, it would be anything but. And I was right.

His lips were surprisingly gentle where they met mine, but insistent, commanding as he opened my mouth against his, stubble scraping at my cheek. I did my best to match his intensity, kissing back with everything I had, trying hard to communicate with more than words what he hadn’t let himself believe. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him, and before I could prepare myself, he scooped me up into his arms like I weighed nothing and headed towards the couch.

“No, bed,” I gasped, tearing my lips away from his for a moment. Bucky honest-to-god whined, changing course immediately to carry me further into his den, kicking his bedroom door closed behind him as we entered the space where his scent was thickest. In the low light, I could make out dark furniture and a large bed, which he settled me gently in the middle of, sheets and blankets a delicious, cedar-scented tangle around me. I could feel my heartbeat pick up, arousal thrumming through every nerve ending in my body, slick between my legs coming embarrassingly fast as my Omega prepared for the Alpha my body desperately craved.

He hesitated for a moment once I was settled, hovering his body above mine, and I could see the glint of his steely eyes tracing down my form. I knew I didn’t look the sexiest in my cozy clothes, and I squirmed uncomfortably underneath his scrutiny, letting out my own indignant whine.

He chuckled— a dark, Alpha sound, then sat back a bit on his haunches to free his hands so that he could trace them down the curve of my sides. He stopped at the hem of my pullover, eyes flicking to meet mine. I nodded, sitting up a bit to let him pull it over my head, taking my bra with it. Once it was off, he hurled it dramatically into the furthest corner of the room, taking the pack’s scent with it. I couldn’t help but laugh at his possessive posturing, before I caught the intense look on his face as his eyes roved over my bare chest and stomach, drinking me in like he was afraid to break the spell by touching.

Goosebumps pebbled the skin of my arms, though not from cold. I reached up to pull him down closer to me, and I could feel him trembling— still holding himself back.

“Bucky,” I pleaded, arching up my lower half to press my core against his leg. He remained still, flesh and metal hands holding my waist firmly in his grasp. “Alpha,” I tried.

That worked.

With a choked-out growl, Bucky surged up against me, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses from my mouth, down my neck, across my scent glands and to my chest, where he sucked and laved at my sensitive nipples.

“Fucking perfect, Omega,” he breathed, sounding pained. “Smell so good. Like you were made for me. Unbelievable.”

I whined in response, each inhale taking in more of his heady scent, making my head swim. He kissed a hot path from my chest down my belly, nosing at my hip and the waistband of my pants. “Didn’t think you wanted this, doll. Not with me,” he said, flesh hand gripping my side hard enough to bruise. My Omega thrilled at the idea of a mark left behind. Down, girl.

He hesitated at the drawstring of my joggers, his eyes flicking up to meet mine. “Can I make you feel good, Omega?” he panted, mouth slack and plush lips wet. I hitched in a breath at the sight of him, feeling punch-drunk and so overwhelmingly turned on I had to fight the urge to close my eyes. I nodded my consent, but reached out to tug at the shoulder of his shirt first, which he ripped over his head with one hand to reveal the sculpted, shadowy planes of chest. The hard lines of him looked like they were cut from steel. Jesus Christ.

“Please,” I pleaded again, canting up my hips, and he rumbled in response, dragging down my pants and underwear in one smooth glide down my legs. I tightened my thighs together reflexively— still wanting, but momentarily shy at being completely bare for him, and the the thought of the amount of slick he’d find between my legs.

“Perfect,” he practically purred, leaning in to kiss me softly, reassuringly, slotting his hips between my legs until I was spread wide beneath him. He kissed back down my body once my breathing slowed, his cold metal hand leaving goosebumps behind as it trailed down my side to behind my knee, where he lifted my leg to throw it over his shoulder. He paused at my navel, looking up at me one more time. “Okay, doll?”

I took in a shuddering breath, the need for him to touch me overpowering my nerves, before nodding. The corner of Bucky’s mouth turned up in a smirk, making my breath catch in my throat, before he dove between my legs with what could only be described as super soldier-like intensity. He sucked slowly, teasingly at the scent glands on my inner thighs before dragging his nose through my slick folds, lapping up my slick like a man starved. He found my bundle of nerves instantly, beginning a relentless tease with his tongue.

I’d never felt anything like it. A litany of uncontrollable whimpers and moans fell from my mouth as pleasure washed over me in waves.

“Taste so good, Omega,” he growled, throwing his metal arm across my hips to hold me down as I bucked up in need against his face. “Never tasted anything like you.”

My eyes rolled back in my head as I felt his flesh hand drag along the inside of my thigh before he pressed one thick finger slowly inside me. The sounds coming out of my mouth were sinful, and I pushed my face into the pillow beside my head to muffle them as I tightened around the digit.

“Alpha, please,” I begged, squirming as I teetered on the razor sharp edge of release. He carried on, increasing the intense assault with his tongue, before adding another finger next to his first, canting them both up towards my navel in a slow drag inside me. The fullness is what pushed me over the edge with a cry. He loosened his hold on my hips to let me ride it out against his mouth until I pulled away sharply with the sting of oversensitivity. He slipped his fingers from me drenched in slick, bringing heat to my cheeks, before licking his fingers clean with his gaze trained on mine.

“God,” I gasped out as my heart rate started to come down, feeling lightheaded and tingly all over from the best orgasm I’d ever had in my fucking life.

“Thanks, but you can call me Bucky.”

Did he— I barked out a disbelieving laugh at the absolute, shit-eating grin on his face— a carefree, pleased look I hadn’t seen before in the short time I’d known the Alpha.

He laughed with me, before moving back up the bed, pressing his burning hot chest to mine, and leaning in for a slow, lingering kiss. The waistband of his pants dug into my hip, along with the shockingly hard length of him.

“Oh, I didn’t—“ I broke away from his mouth, moving my fingers down to scrabble at the button of his pants, but he gently moved my hand away with one of his own.

“You don’t need to,” he said, his voice deep and rough— sounding just as fucked out as me, though I hadn’t even touched him.

I frowned. “But I want to. Do you not want me to—“

He cut me off with a kiss, before dropping his forehead to my chest. I could feel his breath fanning out across my skin, my nipples peaking in interest even though I felt thoroughly sated already.

“Jesus, doll. Of course I do.” He lifted his head up, meeting my gaze, and I could see his jaw clenching as he fought for the right words. When I’d first met him I’d chalked up his taciturn mannerism as a side effect of the rut, but now, I realized it was just another endearing facet of his personality. He liked to make every word he spoke count. Makes sense when you spent seventy years in a muzzle.

“I don’t want you to feel… pressured,” he finished.

This again? I leaned down, pulling a blanket up and over my frame to cover my naked lower half, and Bucky moved off me slightly.We probably should have talked more before Bucky decided to take me to the astral plane— but I certainly wasn’t complaining about the way things had progressed, and by the scent of proud Alpha that still lingered in the air, he hadn’t minded either.

“Bucky, I don’t blame you for anything that happened in that cell. Not even a little bit,” I began. He sighed, breaking eye contact to look down at his flesh hand, which he’d fanned out across my belly. I wasn’t a petite woman, but underneath his massive hand, I felt… small and safe in the best way. A way that made my Omega sing with pleasure at having found a match that could both provide and protect in the ways I needed him to. “It didn't even occur to me that I should blame you. If anything, I was grateful. You protected me and comforted me in a way that very few Alphas would have been able to while in rut.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, but his scent hadn’t sunk back into the sour distress of our earlier confrontation, so I knew he had heard me. He shifted to lie down on his back, lifting his flesh arm over my head to scoop me against his chest. I snuggled up to meet him, curling up against his side with my head pillowed on his massive bicep.

It felt… right— like two puzzle pieces finally joining— and I was suddenly reminded of the ache, or rather, the lack of it.

“You asked me earlier if I felt it too,” I whispered, the moment quiet and sacred in the muted light of Bucky’s den. I lifted my eyes to look at him to find he was already gazing down at me. “I know this is crazy for me to say, but this just feels so—“

“Right,” he said, finishing my sentence for me. “It feels right. And my chest doesn’t hurt anymore, now that you’re here.”

“It’s gone for me too. Bucky— god— I thought I was going crazy. I thought you hated me. I thought I was going to have to leave the pack,” I whined, feeling the low-level anxiety of the past few weeks rush back in one big wave. Bucky must have scented the intensity of my distress, because he shushed me softly, running a soothing hand up and down my back, before nudging my head onto his chest and starting up that painfully familiar rumble that I’d yearned for for weeks. His purr.

I instantly melted against him, feeling anxiety make way for comfort and bliss as every muscle in my body let go of the tension it was holding. I let out an involuntary moan of relief as I drowned in his purr and the cedar scent that surrounded me like a cocoon.

“’S fucking good,” I slurred, and I could feel Bucky’s laugh cut through the vibrations.

Reluctantly, I pulled my head away from his chest so that I could meet his eyes again. He was still staring, like I was a puzzle he couldn’t decipher. I shivered.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said. I immediately opened my mouth to protest, but he stopped me. “No, listen. I should have apologized to you as soon as we got back. But I was afraid.” He said it resolutely, unfalteringly. An Alpha admitting their fear was rare. But Bucky wasn’t a typical Alpha. “I was afraid of what I was feeling— of what you might be feeling. And when I saw you with Steve, I just thought—“ he paused, closing his eyes. “I thought I could move on. That you had made the right choice.”

Though my heart hurt to think of the turmoil that Bucky had put himself through over the past month, I had to smirk. Bucky might be different in other ways, but his jealousy over my imagined relationship with Steve was stereotypical Alpha.

“Is that why you started leaving me secret gifts?” I asked teasingly, feeling a smile curling across my lips. “Saw another Alpha swoop in and had to prove you could provide?”

Bucky flopped his head back against the pillow with a groan, scrunching up his eyes in embarrassment, and I laughed at his chagrin.

“I knew it was weird,” he said. “But it made it hurt less. To know I could… provide for you in some way. Sorry. I know I sound like a knothead.”

“Don’t apologize. That blanket will be perfect for our nest,” I said innocently, fluttering my eyelashes. Bucky stiffened under me immediately at the thought. I giggled, and the Alpha rolled back on top of me in a flash, letting out a teasing growl as his arms caged me in.

I squirmed underneath him as he pressed gentle kisses down my neck, tongue laving across my scent glands, sending a jolt of arousal through my thoroughly relaxed body.

“How do you smell so incredible?” he grumbled against my skin, inhaling deeply. I took the opportunity to move my hand down across his bare chest again, sneaking towards his waistband, but Bucky caught my hand again gently, lacing our fingers together. He stopped his ministrations against my glands, and lifted his face up to meet mine again.

“Not tonight,” he murmured. “But will you stay?”

I nodded then, feeling suddenly shy and exposed underneath him. I wiggled down off the bed to pull on my soft pants and pullover, leaving my bra and slick-soaked underwear on the floor, while Bucky tugged off his pants, leaving him in black boxer briefs that showed off the rippling muscles of his thighs. God. Damn.

As I curled up again next to him, pulling the blankets up and over the tangle of our legs, a bone-deep tiredness settled over me, my body finally feeling relaxed and safe enough to slip into sleep after weeks of insomnia. He pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead, before looping his arms around me firmly and starting up his Alpha purr once again.

Tomorrow, we’d finish talking. Tomorrow, we’d figure out what was up with our strange connection. And tomorrow, it was my turn to make Bucky feel just as good as I had.

But right now? I nuzzled my face into his chest, savoring the cent of cedar and bonfire, and knew—irrevocably— that I was finally home.

#my fic #like an animal #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky reader #bucky barnes reader #bucky reader insert #bucky smut #marvel fic #marvel smut

19 notes · View notes

imjeralee · 4 years

Text

Wallflower: Chapter 18 - “ba-woon”

Raihan x F!Reader

Disclaimer: Do not own Pokemon

Summary: You’re an unassuming Pokemon breeder who works at the nursery in the Wild Area and he’s Raihan, the fearsome gym leader of Hammerlocke who has more than a million followers. You don’t want anything to do with him but he’s…persistent.

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Warnings: Lemon, smut, violence, language.

Extra note: this chapter is messed up tbh.

ba-woon ... ...

Some time ago, Galar.

What a fucking mess.

Rose's party was a complete disaster. She honestly thinks everything in Galar is so messed up and backwards, compared to Unova anyway. She can't wait to leave and return to Nimbasa City - she doesn't remember enjoying Galar, and don't think she ever will.

And now she's visiting someone in prison. Never in a million years would Raihan's ex-girlfriend imagine that she would step one foot here.

It's Raihan's stalker, whom she knew about when she was still dating Raihan but never really bothered to do anything about nor take any action, because she believed the stalker was just a harmless fangirl. The stalker had now reached out to her online, regarding something to do with Raihan and his current girlfriend. Something that would ruin them both.

Naturally, being his ex-girlfriend, she was very intrigued but not entirely believing. To conceal her identity, she comes in wearing sunglasses and a large sunhat and baggy clothes, terrified that someone would recognise her. As if she would risk wanting to be seen here; the number of followers would rapidly go down the drain.

She goes to the counter and gives the name, informing the attendant that she's here to see an inmate. Then she's shown to the visitor's room and she sits down in the empty booth, waiting.

Soon, a girl in a jumpsuit arrives; she's very young and average. One would wonder what she did to land herself in a place like this but one can't judge a book by its cover. Once the girl in the jumpsuits seats herself down, she picks up the phone receiver and instructs the ex to do the same.

"How did you even get my contact details?" She barks. Truthfully, she would've ignored the message.

"I used to work in Macro Cosmos."

"And what's the thing you wanted to tell me about?" Raihan's ex adds, crossing her arms. This better be good, it better be worth her time.

The stalker says, "I still have a copy. It's the last one. Banette helped me hide it before they came. It's the video I took of Raihan and that girl he's with, when they were in the hotel room. I'll tell you where it is."

Raihan's ex raises a brow in response. "....Excuse me?" She says, clearly not impressed. "Are you serious? That's the reason why you called me here? So....what? What exactly am I supposed to do with it? Why are you even telling me this?"

"Because you could do anything." The girl says, "You could do anything with it. As long as it's in your hands."

...

Present, Johto.

You go through the rest of the form: it says you have the right to cancel at any time and there is fine print which Looker encourages you to read, with one paragraph in particular that dictates something called a 'Faller'. What that means exactly, you're not sure but Looker explains.

"Fallers are individuals who have passed through Ultra Wormholes." He says, "This is probably a bit too much information for you at the moment so I won’t indulge too much right now. The existence of Wormholes isn't exactly top secret information. There was an incident in Alola not too long ago where a couple of Wormholes opened up and several Ultra Beasts slipped through and it became headline news. Myself and my superior - who is also a Faller - were handling this case. However, let's not jump to conclusions right now. We could just proceed with the Hypnosis session first, see how it goes and then take it from there."

"Um...okay."

"Have you had any out-of-body experiences before?" He says. It's so blunt and to the point, you can only nod.

"Yeah, during Rose's party." You reply, "We were trying to stop Team Rocket and Eli in the energy plant, Leon and I closed the generator and then something happened and I was in this weird place where I saw Giratina."

Looker soaks it all in. "I see. That would be the Distortion World."

"Yeah."

He doesn't ask you anything else nor does he want to take up more of your time any longer so he leaves you and Raihan with more documents to read over once you're home and also to give you some time to discuss with mom and Glenn. Should you want to go ahead, you must sign and return the form to him. He gives you his number so you can contact him when ready. Then he thanks you for your time and departs; you will see him soon, probably when you return to Galar. You put away the remaining documents Looker enclosed with the folder into your backpack.

For a few seconds or so, you and Raihan merely stare at each other as you sit in your booth until you bite down on your lip, brows furrowing. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"You can't seem to catch a break?" Raihan suggests.

"Exactly!" You exclaim, "Where is all this coming from? Fallers, Ultra Wormholes? What's next? I've just about had it."

Getting up from your seats, you promptly leave the cafe and head towards the direction of the Dragon's Den, following the tourist signs once you pass Blackthorn Gym. It's pretty easy to get to regardless and there are plenty of gift shops around which you will tour with Raihan later.

"I trust Looker; you'll be in good hands." Raihan reassures you with a smile as you hold hands along the way. "You've nothing to worry about. Do you want to go back and talk to your family about it?"

You shake your head, "No, no, it's okay, we're already here; let's just head to the Dragon's Den."

It's best not to think about it any longer...plus the caffeine is kicking in so you feel renewed with energy.

Raihan gives your hand a tight squeeze and together, you arrive at the giant lake which must be crossed in order to reach the den - you take Lapras' pokeball and release the ferry Pokemon into the water. You scramble onto Lapras' back and Raihan climbs on after you, glancing right and left. "Ready?"

"Yep."

You pat Lapras gently and she begins gliding over the water and towards the large cave up ahead. Along the way, you see Magikarps swimming in the tranquil lake below and a few Woopers slinking around. The weather is perfect - it’s not cold but not too hot either - and the breeze is gentle and cool.

"We really should do this more often." Raihan mutters, and you agree with a smile.

Once you arrive, Raihan hops off Lapras and helps you down; you recall mom's pokemon and begin the trek over the harsh and rocky path with the dragon tamer into the cave. The den used to be off-limits - they would only let people who earned the Rising badge to enter but now they allow tourists and visitors. It looks different too, mainly due to the inclusion of two newly built paths leading inside, spiralling left and right - the lake outside narrows into a deep stream but you're aware it leads to a further, massive lake inside the den itself where all the Dratini and Dragonairs are. It's dark and damp and you and Raihan pass a shrine that stands in the middle of the water where an elderly man dressed in traditional garb is praying.

You excitedly point to a small Dratini that is draped around the old man's neck, snoozing. It's so adorable! You can't wait - you want to catch a Dratini badly. Raihan grins and you both up your speed without further ado, heading into the den and occasionally being challenged by trainers and defeating them along the way until you reach the opening. It's a massive cave with rocky walls that stretch up high and wide and the only source of light are the scattered torches which the dragon elders have lit up for trainers and visitors alike.

It's a lot busier inside, with a few Ace Trainers and Dragon Tamers inside with their dragon pokemon. A tamer flies around on his Dragonite, ducking and diving over sharp rocks, controlling it's speed and momentum, whilst an Ace Trainer trains her Dragonair in the water with a whistle and some strange device. Meanwhile, a pool to the left reveals a small group of wild Dratini snoozing over the rocks whilst another shakes itself under the waterfall, enjoying the rush of water.

Raihan abruptly clamps a hand over his chest in reaction to the most beautiful sight that is taking place before his very eyes.

"Are you okay?" You ask, though you don't think he is. You feel he has died and gone to heaven.

Raihan turns to you, a wide grin appearing on his face. "I'm fine," He exclaims happily, "Let's go."

Fumbling for your pokemon, you both release your dragon pokemon by tossing your capsules into the air and an extravagant display of lights subsequently follows; the pokemon appear before you, emitting loud growls and waving their tails, wings and claws. Raihan takes a headcount whilst you do the same - he's brought Duraludon, Flygon, Goodra, Turtonator, Axew and Bagon. You count Chompy, Salamence, Haxorus, Dreepy and Deino, whom you have taken along on Raihan's behalf. Goomy and Applin are the only pokemon not present but never mind; you have quite a lot on your plate already.

"Alright! Everyone's here!" You cheer. It's a Dragon Pokemon Field Trip!

"Let's take a group photo first." Raihan says eagerly, and Rotom comes flying out just in time.

"Bzzz, I got ya covered, champ! On the count of three?"

"Thanks, Rotom!"

Everyone proceeds to move into position a short distance away from Rotom, though much allocation is needed. All the large pokemon move to stand behind yourself and Raihan; though Raihan's height forces him to kneel on one leg beside you, clutching Axew and Deino in his arms whilst you sit with Bagon and Dreepy nestles on your shoulder.

"One...two...three...Everyone zzay 'GROOOOOOOOWL'!!!" Rotom yells, and all the pokemon unleashes the fiercest growls they can muster that the walls tremble and shake and Rotom snaps away. “Yay! Good job everyone!”

Rotom returns to you both so you can check out the photos and you both peer at the screen, swiping through at least five. There's one where Rotom caught all the pokemon growling and their jaws are open. There's one with Garchomp, Goodra and Duraludon waving their arms in the air. Wow, these photos look amazing! Except from the one where you blinked. Damn.

The itinerary for today is simple - Raihan will carry out the training and you will follow up with an examination. Raihan's provided you with his Pokemon's previous assessments, so you can use them to compare.

Therefore, the next thing you do is take all the pokemon to the dragon shrine first so they can soak up all the powerful dragon energy in the den. Your group bumbles behind you, the dragon pokemon looking up and around in awe. No doubt, they are experiencing some special feels for this place. Chompy, Salamence and Haxorus are the only pokemon familiar with this place since you've brought them here before. Once you reach the shrine, you tell Raihan this is where trainers and their pokemon pray for strength and courage in battle and also to pay their respects.

There's a way to do it, so you prompt Raihan to follow your lead - you take some loose cash from your pockets and drop it into the offering box and Raihan does the same. Then you bow deeply twice, clap your hands twice, bow deeply once more and take a few steps backwards.

You clasp your hands together and close your eyes in prayer and everyone follows you. Your group grows silent as you pray; you're pretty sure Chompy and Haxorus are praying for a nice meal at the end of this whilst Salamence is probably praying for more opportunities to fly.

"That'll do. Let's go." You say, when they are finished.

The training promptly begins; you're hoping to spend half a day here and hopefully catch a Dratini at the same time if possible. You find a good spot where there's enough space for all the pokemon to move and run around - and Raihan begins with a warm up and here is where you see a different side to your dragon tamer boyfriend - this must be what he is like when he is at Hammerlocke stadium.

You see him instructing the pokemon fluidly and with the sophistication of a seasoned professional drill sergeant (but he doesn't bark orders no, he's the opposite; he's highly encouraging and gentle) and you watch as your pokemon immerse themselves fully into the experience, though the smaller pokemon are struggling slightly.

You watch as the pokemon begin doing some laps around the den whilst some do sits up and push ups. Raihan observes with Rotom hovering beside him and taking photos and videos, whilst you go to help the smaller pokemon with lighter workouts. To finish up, Raihan pairs the pokemon and let them battle each other but not to the brink where they are knocked out. There's no winner or loser. Your EV trained pokemon fight each other, with Haxorus, Salamence and Garchomp engaging in a three-way battle. Raihan passes each team, making assessments.

When it's your turn to take over, you become nervous because no-one's really watched you on the job before so with Raihan grinning in one corner actually makes you anxious. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and begin the check up, pulling out your tools which include a stethoscope, ophthalmoscope and otoscope. They look highly technical but these are the three main tools you utilise and they’re easy to use. You get the pokemon to line up and begin the examination one by one which only takes two to three minutes per Pokemon. You hastily scribble down some notes in your pad which you will look at in more detail when you get home.

When it's getting late and the pokemon have gone through a tough day of training, you return them all after feeding them and giving them treats for all their hard work and finally, Raihan turns to you. "We still got a Dratini to catch."

You're kind of beat but you nod, hopping off the rock you were sitting on. "Let's do this."

Since you spotted wild Dratini lounging in the pond near the entrance, you head over to see two of the shed skin pokemon basking over the rocks. Raihan is quick to approach, releasing Goodra. One of the Dratini rears its head up, ready to fight, whilst the other begins to squirm away. Oh no, it's trying to run away! Without thinking twice, you throw Lapras' capsule because she's roughly the same level as these Dratini and would fare a better chance compared to your EV trained pokemon who would destroy it in one move. Raihan commands Goodra to use Dragon Breath and then throws an Ultra Ball at the severely weakened pokemon.

"Lapras, use Ice Beam!" You yell, and the wild Dratini is smacked with a blast of ice which hits it's belly. Aha, now's your chance! You pull out a spare Ultra Ball, tossing it at the pokemon.

Raihan's ultra ball wiggles three times and clicks shut with the green light, indicating Dratini has been successfully captured - however, yours wiggles twice and then abruptly explodes in a burst of bright light. Dratini reappears, blinks for a brief second then promptly dives underwater, having successfully run away.

"Motherfurret!" You shout with frustration before you can help yourself, "Not again!"

Raihan picks up his caught pokemon and returns to your side.

You look up at him with a sigh. "....Guess it isn't meant to be." You mumble dejectedly.

"Take mine." He says, attempting to press the capsule into your hand for your taking.

You shake your head at once. "No, it's fine, Rai. You caught it."

"But I want you to keep it."

"Nooooo."

"I'll catch another one."

You cross your arms, unwilling to accept. "It's fine, I can get one from the Gamecorner in Goldenrod."

He gives you a testing look but you nod firmly. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright...." Raihan slips the capsule into his bag but you feel he isn't convinced.

...

You leave the den to grab dinner, opting to have a nice meal at a restaurant in Goldenrod which Raihan chose because he looked it up and it's received raving reviews online and five stars. Then you and Raihan do some shopping at the Department Store although Raihan is more into this than you are. Generally, Goldenrod is quite pricey and it has designers you have not heard of and can't really afford but to Raihan, you swear he has died and gone to heaven again.

You trail after him, watching him as he goes through racks and shelves and aisles filled to the brim with clothes, shoes and accessories. Occasionally, he'll pull something out and ask you for your opinion. Sometimes you split up so you can buy some gear and treats for your pokemon before you regroup with him.

It's interesting shopping with a guy; Raihan has good fashion sense because he picks out staple items and then he also pulls out items which are in season and are sure to last for a long time. He also picks out some interesting items which are a variety of colours and it makes you think who on earth could pull it off but you're sure Raihan can since he's so tall and skinny and can make anything look good.

His total bill comes to a six figure number, which has your eyes bulging to the size of plates but apparently, that's nothing to him. Then he nonchalantly asks you if you want anything but you politely decline.

When you wait for Raihan to finish paying, you're looking through photos on Rotom which you took when you were training at the den and you're wondering what's taking him so long until a pair of hands suddenly clamp over your eyes and you squeak in fright until the hands lower from your eyes and you see Raihan who presses a deep kiss on your cheek. Phew, you breathe a sigh of relief.

He has a wide smile playing on his lips. "Hold your arms out."

"What is it?" You lift your arms as requested and he brings out a pink plushie from behind his back and plops it into your hands. Your eyes grow wide - it's a Skitty doll. You look at him, then at the doll with your mouth agape. "...For me?"

"It reminded me of you."

You gush, clutching it firmly to your chest. "It's so cute!! Thanks!"

His grin widens. "I knew you'd like it."

You go on tiptoe and Raihan takes this as a cue to lean forwards and your lips meet.

With the Skitty doll and many bags hanging off your arms, you head to the Gamecorner next, playing a few games such as UFO catcher and Whack-a-Drilbur and you take a quick look at the prize station but seeing various pokemon up for sale as prizes turns you off and you're not sure whether to get the Dratini; instead, you decide to call it a day and go back to Ecruteak. You had wanted to pay Glenn a visit but maybe tomorrow when you have more free time. Besides, you want to discuss with mom about the meeting with Looker. It's actually been on your mind all day. You managed to push it to the depths of your mind somehow, unwilling for it to ruin your day.

When you arrive home, mom is already preparing dinner and when you open the door to the lounge, you see Glenn sitting on one of the plushy cushions whilst the TV blares on in the background.

"Glenn, you're here!"

"Yeah," He greets you casually; there's a pink goo slithering over his head and shoulders - it's a Ditto. "How was the Dragon's Den?"

"It was really good."

"Awesome. Did you guys catch a Dratini?"

"Raihan did but I didn't...and er...I'm glad you're here, I need to talk to you and mom."

"Hm? About what?"

Firstly, you need to put your shopping away so you head to your room to get changed into comfier clothes and return to the lounge with Raihan; Glenn recalls Ditto and you pull out the folder Looker had given you and you ask him to take a look.

"A detective has asked me if I can help him with a case."

Glenn blinks blankly. "That's so random."

"We know him. He helped us before." You mutter, and Glenn takes the folder off you and sticks his hand inside, pulling out a few files. He chooses one to read and has a quick skim through until his brows furrow slightly; you and Raihan glance at each other from the corner of your eyes and you don't think this bodes too well.

However, the lounge door slides opens and mom enters with Blissey. "Phew! Almost done. Dinner's nearly ready."

"Hey mom, take a look at this." Glenn says, handing her the paper.

"What is it?" Mom plops herself beside Glenn and dons her reading glasses, scanning the paper. She's smiling but you watch as the smile slowly disappears. It grows silent as they both read the contents. Raihan reaches for your hand and holds you tightly, threading your fingers together and after a short while, mom settles the file down and turns to you. "So this detective named Looker is working on a case regarding a missing child....and he thinks you're the missing child?"

"Yeah."

"And he wants you to undergo Hypnosis in order to confirm the theory, to extract memories..." Glenn mutters, rubbing his chin. He continues reading the file out loud: "A Hypnosis session is used to extract missing memories and concise testimony from the subject. Usually the subject is an individual who suffers from retrograde or psychogenic amnesia. Subjects will undergo a session in an effort to recall their missing memories under the guidance of a trained professional and a Hypno allocated by the Bureau. The session can last up to three to five hours maximum, depending on the severity of the amnesia."

Mom looks at the photograph of the couple and the little girl next. "This is the missing child, right? You don't look anything like her at all." She says.

Glenn pulls out another file except there's a few photos that were lodged within and they drop out and over the table. "Whoa, that's a Buzzwole." He points out, as he picks up the photo of the beefy red bug. He moves to a second photo and raises a brow, "Huh, don't think I've seen this one before..."

"I think that's a Xurkitree, dear."

"I've never seen anything like it." Glenn puts down the photos and begins reading the next file: "Operation f....um, faller, spelled with blanks in between...interesting, Operation Faller is the top secret - haha, not so top secret now - Operation Faller is the top secret operation conducted by the Bureau in an effort to identify, track down and locate fallers, individuals who have passed through Ultra Wormholes; the operation came into existence after the Alola incident where Ultra Wormholes opened and several entities known as Ultra Beasts entered Alola."

Glenn abruptly stops.

"Um...what exactly am I reading or looking for here?" He says, confused.

"It's the Alola incident, dear, it made headlines a while ago - the existence of parallel worlds." Mom says. "Remember?"

"Oh, yeah! People went mental! Er...this is getting weird...they even said they found a world where pokemon don't even exist! Can you believe that?" Glenn mutters before he moves onto the next file. It's a file that's got your name on it. "Subject was discovered in Ilex Forest with blunt force head trauma. Subject could not recall her identity, where she came from or how old she was at that time.... That sounds like retrograde or psychogenic amnesia to me."

You bite down on your bottom lip; this is making you uncomfortable...

He flips to the next page. "Drifloon. Subject was found with a Drifloon - Drifloon are not native to Johto, or Ilex Forest so it was theoreticized to have been responsible for subject's accident but no proof has been found. Drifloon is known to have spirited people away, in particular, children. The expression 'spirit away' is used to refer to the mysterious disappearance or death of a person, or humans who have been abducted to the spirit world. The term is loosely utilised in Drifloon's pokedex entry - for this case, the balloon Pokemon may have transported subject either to a new region... or a parallel dimension, or Ultra Space."

Glenn stops again and looks at you like a Stantler caught in headlights.

Gulping, he continues. "...The pokemon was allowed to stay with subject after displaying no malicious intent towards subject. Instead, pokemon demonstrated protective behaviour over subject and listened to subject's commands."

You force out a weak laugh. "It wasn't Driffie. It can't be, it's not. He wouldn't...he wouldn't do that to me. This is ridiculous and if I was...whatever, I'd remember for sure."

The lounge goes silent as all eyes fall on you.

Mom nods and says, "There was no proof, dear. Driffie is harmless. And you love Driffie."

"Yeah." You mutter weakly as you absent-mindedly squeeze Raihan's hand under the table.

Glenn puts down the documents and lets out a quiet groan, rubbing his temples. ".....Basically, there's three things going on here: number one, Looker wants you to remember your missing memories to find out if you're the missing child of the case he's working on. Two, he wants to find out if there's the possibility of you being a Faller and three, the file says that Driffie could've been the one responsible for your accident."

You don't like the direction where this is going to at all. "I don't care; I have you and mom and Raihan and it won't change anything; I'm perfectly happy where I am."

"What are you gonna do, sis?"

"....I dunno."

"It's okay, dear, I think you should go ahead and sign it. There's no harm in wanting to help someone out and finding out more about yourself." Mom replies; she moves to stand, bringing you into a tight hug and pecking you on the cheek. "You'll still be my daughter and we'll still be your family."

...

After dinner, Glenn and mom ask if you're okay again but you lie and tell them you're fine. They reassure you that you're doing the right thing for yourself and whatever happens, they'll still be there for you. Whilst Raihan remains in the lounge to chat with mom and Glenn, you decided to take a bath but when you see the full moon hanging in the night sky, you end up sitting outside in the back porch with the folder; you didn't want to look at it any longer but since you still had some documents to go through for yourself, curiosity killed the Delcatty so you grab it and take out the contents again. Indeed, the folder contains a myriad of documents about Fallers and photos of Ultra Beasts and Ultra Wormholes. But it's then you come across Driffie's file and you hesitate.

Nausea overwhelms you. Driffie....no way. It can't be. You put the folder down, then pull out Driffie's capsule and release him; he emerges in a brief burst of red light in the garden.

"Flooo...." He blinks, letting out a gentle wheeze.

You can't bring yourself to ask. Hell, how are you supposed to ask? Did you spirit me away? Did you take me away from my family? Did you try to kill me? Did you try to hurt me...did you want to hurt me?

Didn't Allister once say to you...

”It wants to say... ‘I’m sorry’.”

Oh shit. Oh fuck. It can't be...

"Hey, um....Driffie?"

He looks at you, tilting his head curiously. "Floo...?"

"Was it....was it you?"

Again, he merely tilts his head to the side.

You sigh loudly. Oh Arceus, how could you think Driffie would do this to you? He is your sweet Drifloon who you've had since....ever. He's never hurt you. "Never mind. Forget it. I'm sorry, Driffie."

"Floo..." He floats over and nestles on top of your head, wrapping his arms around you just as the rest of your capsules suddenly burst open at once and all your Pokemon appear - Espie, Poliwag, Metagross, Salamence, Chompy, Haxorus, Dreepy and Tyranitar. The smaller pokemon jump into your lap whilst Dreepy slinks over your shoulders.

Your stare, blinking blankly as your pokemon begin to idly gather round and sit around you with what little space there is. Tyranitar and Haxorus sit beside you on the porch and Chompy and Metagross move to sit in front of you - Metagross has to tuck his legs in - whilst Salamence curls behind you, propping you up. You glance at each and every one of them before you smile at them warmly. You know the reason why they've appeared - they can sense your sorrow and fear.

"Did you guys hear what happened?"

Metagross turns to you and nods. Chompy growls and so does Haxorus and Salamence. Espie purrs loudly. Exhaling shakily, you watch as she puts her paw over your hand and Poliwag puts his tail over her paw. Your Pokemon look up at you and you smile at them.

"You got my back, right?"

Everyone nods.

You feel the corner of your eyes prickling with tears and you quickly dab at your eyes, hoping they hadn't seen. You've had them since they were babies - or at least since they were very young - and you took them under your wing, fed them, trained them. They're strong all because of you. You need to remind yourself about that more often and also give yourself more credit. As much as you were there for your pokemon, they are here for you, too. With those thoughts in mind, you watch your pokemon settle themselves around you protectively and you reach over, patting them fondly.

"Thanks, everyone." You utter under your breath. "Thank you for being there for me."

Metagross emits a low screech whilst Salamence, Tyranitar, Chompy and Haxorus growl loudly in response. Your smile grows wider as you pat them again. Espie purrs and Dreepy and Poliwag rub their cheeks against yours.

"If anything happens to me....I....oh, I don't know, I never thought about it."

Your pokemon look at you in bewilderment but you don't follow up. They sit with you, staring up at the moon until a while later, you hear the door to the lounge opening and Raihan passes you on the porch; you and your pokemon all turn to him and he freezes.

"Hm?" He exchanges glances between you and your pokemon and grins, "What's up? What are you doing? I thought you were sleeping."

You shake your head as you pat the space beside you, "Wanna join us?"

"Sure." He says, and he manages to squeeze himself beside you and Haxorus. Your pokemon don't mind, and Raihan reaches for you automatically with his arms out and you put down the documents. Espie and Poliwag hop off your lap and jump on top of Metagross' head so you can climb into Raihan's awaiting lap where he wraps his arms around you firmly and you rest your chin on his shoulder, closing your eyes. He envelopes you all over with his warmth, his arms holding you securely. "...You'll be okay, princess." Raihan mutters, pressing his lips against the curve of your cheek.

"Looker has really bad timing." You reply, as he peppers you with kisses. It's true, you feel the entire vacation is ruined because of this. You don't blame him but you kind of wish you hadn't met up. "I don't mind helping out but I don't know what I'll find out."

Raihan tightens his grip on you, stroking your hair affectionately and tucking some loose strands behind your ear with his long fingers. "I'll still be here. And if you are a 'faller', that's kinda cool." He says, and you chuckle under your breath. "Don't worry. I'll protect you. The Great Raihan will protect his princess, always."

You chuckle louder until you gradually dissolve into silence where you are just holding onto him and sitting in his lap.

"Have you decided what to do?"

"...Yeah. I'm gonna sign it."

"You sure?"

You nod. "I'll just...give it a shot. There's no harm, I guess. But I wish I could catch a break though...I'm really tired."

"I know you are, princess."

Leaning against him, you close your eyes and give him an affectionate squeeze.

"...You're the best thing to happen to me." You mutter quietly and he emits a gentle sigh, wrapping his arms even firmly around you.

"I know."

You can't help but smile and as you pull away from him, he grins and leans forwards, your lips pressing briefly before you throw your arms around him again. Raihan hugs you close, rubbing small, soothing circles on your back whilst you rest your cheek against his shoulder until you glance over and pick up a photo, inspecting it. It's a white jellyfish creature and the longer you stare at it, the more it looks familiar to you.

You feel like you've seen it before.

...

Days later.

Life returns to normal, or what is defined as normal in your books.

You leave Johto, return to work and so does Raihan. Your new boss is difficult to get along with; she's far more strict and doesn't seem to get your sarcasm or humour. You don't seem to be able to build up the same rapport you had with your previous boss. Your days are often spent in silence but you reckon work is just work and it cannot be helped. Not everyone likes their jobs - such as your friend, for example. You're left wondering when your next holiday is because your trip to Johto has now come to an end; the days had flown by just like that and it was over way too soon, way too quick.

And when you returned to your cottage in Ballonlea, you realised you've become way more accustomed to Galar than you had thought but after the meeting with Looker, things seem....different now.

You've told Raihan that you've already set up a time and date for the hypnosis session with Looker and although he says he wants to come with you, it will clash with his work so you tell him you can do this on your own.

Emitting a gentle sigh under your breath, you get ready, heading to Hammerlocke police station where you ask for Looker at the counter and a few minutes later, he emerges from a room and into the waiting area to retrieve you.

"Thanks for coming." Looker says, as you hand him the signed form.

"No problem."

"Are you ready?"

"Yep."

And you follow him into a small room with a sign that says 'Interrogation Room 2'....as if that wasn't intimidating enough. He closes the door behind you and it grows quiet as he sits at the desk, scribbling something down on the notepad in front of him. There's a hypnotherapy chair in the corner and a Hypno sits on its haunches on a stool, looking at you with its beady eyes. You stare at it in return, feeling slightly nauseous.

"Have a seat." Looker mutters, gesturing to the chair. "And grab a drink if you want."

You head over to the chair before you glance at the water machine nearby so you help yourself to a drink by reaching over and filling up a plastic cup, downing a few sips. It's silent in the room except from Looker's pen squeaking over the paper, the clock ticking on the wall and Hypno's shallow breathing as it stares at you relentlessly.

Looker finally finishes writing his notes and averts his attention to a case he's kept propped up against the desk, lifting it up. Unclipping it, he pulls out several strange devices which he lays carefully on the desk, then he pulls out a tape recorder from a cupboard underneath the desk which he also neatly sets on the table.

"Put this on." He hands you one of the weird contraptions, which is a bracelet that resembles a Dynamax band.

"What is this?" You ask, as you strap it on, pulling the fabric and tugging it around the width of your wrist and pushing the snap fasten into place.

"It's to read your energy levels during the hypnosis session." Looker mutters, "It works similar to a polygraph."

You didn't quite understand and Looker continues setting up some random machinery around you.

"Are you ready?" He says, when he's finished.

"Yeah." You put down the cup on the table provided beside you and take a deep breath.

Looker nods stiffly and pulls his seat over to you, dragging it on its wheels. "Let's begin. Lie down, please. Come on, Hypno. We're starting now."

As you lie over the chair properly, Looker presses on the tape recorder and he says out loud that he's recording 'Subject Sixteen, Initial Hypnotherapy Session'. Hypno moves in front of you with a shiny white pendant that dangles from his claws. Looker instructs you to tell him your name, age, where you come from and your occupation, which you do.

"When you're under," Looker adds, "Focus on the sound of my voice: I'll be guiding you along the way. I'll ask you to describe what you see and I'll tell you what to do next. I want you to remember that there is nothing there that will hurt you so you do not have to be scared. However, should you feel threatened, you can stop the session and we'll bring you back. Just tell us to stop."

You nod weakly. "Understood."

"Good. Let's begin then."

Glancing at Hypno, Looker nods and it begins swinging the pendant in front of your eyes in a smooth fashion.

“I want you to think about your childhood,” Looker says, “We’ll start from there.”

”S-sure.”

You honestly wonder how this will work.

Hypnosis?

You've seen hypnosis work on a pokemon but not on a human...

You keep your eyes trained on the pendulum.

Nothing so far.

It goes right.

Then goes left.

And back again.

Your eyes follow the motion, back and forth...

Back...

...and forth...

You're still in the room with Looker.

You're still...conscious.

Is this supposed to work?

How does it work?

The pendulum keeps swinging, Hypno keeps its eyes on you. It's mouth moves, whispering.

Left.

Right.

Left.

Right.

Opening your eyes, you sit up.

Wait.

When did you even close your eyes?

Where the hell are you?

"What do you see?"

It's Looker's voice.

You glance around.

You're...in a field.

A field full of beautiful flowers of red, blue and yellow...

The Wild Area?

No, it's...it's not. It's not the Wild Area. It's not even... Galar. Your gut just tells you it's not Galar.

"What do you hear?"

You hear giggling. Laughter. Voices.

They sound happy.

"Where's it coming from?"

You spot a small group up ahead and you wade through the field of flowers towards the source. A short distance away, you can see the woods. They're dark and foreboding.

"Who is it?"

Heading over, you see a couple sitting together on a red and white checkered picnic blanket surrounded by an abundance of food and a hamper whilst a little girl stares at a Butterfree fluttering around her. You realise you cannot see their faces; a messy, gaping black scribble erases any distinguishable feature.

Confused, you begin to step backwards.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't...I can't see their faces." You reply, swallowing down.

"Can you go closer?"

"I think so."

The couple are too busy getting the food ready to notice that the child gets up, having spotted something in the woods.

"Ba-woon." She says.

"What?"

"Ba-woon." The little girl says again.

Their voices are an echo.

Suddenly, a small swarm of Beedrill comes, attracted by the food - noticeably, the sticky jam sandwiches. The couple stand up to fend them off. They don't notice the child leaving the picnic mat, wandering further and further towards the woods.

There's something there.

"Ba-woon." The little girl says, giggling.

She stops in front of a small and cute, purple pokemon. Having lured her to the woods, it begins to float further inside.

"Ba-woon, come back! Where are you going?"

It reaches for her and takes her hand and in a split second, just like that, they both disappear into nothingness.

Gone.

#kibana #raihan #raihan x reader #Raihan x you #jeralee #wallflower #archive of our own #fanfic #fic #reader insert #pkmn #pokemon #pokemonshield #pokemonsword #pokemon shield and sword

38 notes · View notes

charlthotte · 3 years

Text

Breaking Through The Iron Wall - Aone Takanobu x Reader

Chapter 4

The squeak of trainers stubbing themselves on the gym floor echoed throughout the massive establishment. Around a dozen boys in volleyball uniforms were scattered around the court, spiking and blocking balls with ungodly strength. It was truly mesmerising seeing a spherical piece of foam being smashed around the court at an immense velocity, even when their hands met with the ball - the force didn't phase them one bit. That was truly amazing.

Futakuchi must have noticed myself and Aone entering the gym through the corner of his eye, he immediately dropped the ball he held in his hands. Soon, his annoying smirk regained its composure upon his face. "What is their highness doing here? We are but a simple sports club, after all." That boy seemed to poke bucket loads of fun out of messing with people. Tired of his jests, I folded my arms and sighed, feeling rather ticked off my his words. At that moment, Aone must have sent him a look, as Futakuchi soon came to his senses and asked me a question. A question that was certainly very out of the blue. "So... Your highness, it seems that our team is in need of a manager; seeing as though our last manager - Nametsu - is in Greece because of a foreign exchange program."

"And what am I meant to do about that?" I replied curtly.

"Well, pretty, pretty please could you be our new manager?" He spoke in the voice of a little girl, furiously batting his eyelashes whilst swaying from side to side, with his hands cupping his face.

"I'm sorry but I don't know much about volleyball. Wouldn't someone else be better at the job other than me?" I inquired, seriously confused.

"However, I do see that Aone was the one to bring you here, and you wouldn't want to disappoint him, would you? Futakuchi's face switched from that of a child to his devilish smirk, knowing the right buttons to press in order for me to accept his offer.

"Wouldn't you need the captain's approval first?" I asked, trying to worm my way out of being the manager in any way possible. "Or the coach?"

He snickered, "I see what you're doing. Moniwa! Coach Oiwake! Come here!" He belted across the gym, beckoning his hands towards himself. A boy with choppy, black hair wearing the number 2 and a man with his hair slicked back with a stern disposition made their ways towards Futakuchi. There weren't going to be any chances for escape after that.

The captain seemed as if he didn't want to entertain Futakuchi and what he was going to say. Everyone was probably thinking that too.

"Captain..." Futakuchi cooed, falling into his childlike state again, "Don't you think it'd be great if this person here became our manager, they've already met Aone and myself?"

"Don't ask me leading questions, Futakuchi. It is their choice to join anyway." The captain turned towards me, shooting me a look of compassion. I did need to join a club, but none I had came across interested me. If I did want to join, I would have already known people, which was obviously a bonus. Pondering for a little longer, I wondered what clubs Hiroko and Rea did? Surely they'd be less demanding than being a manager. Futakuchi also wouldn't be a part of their clubs. Seeing his grimace each day, would have surely drained me.

I nodded in appreciation towards the captain. "Thank you. I'm not acquainted with the rules of volleyball, so I don't think I'd be the best fit."

Once again, Futakuchi started to open his mouth, "But Moniwa! There hasn't been a single other applicant for the position, and we could teach them over time." I could tell he wasn't going to give up anytime soon, the thought of that and how draining his consistent begging would be, I began to cave.

"Maybe you could give me until tomorrow to think about it? I think I'd make the better decision if I think it over properly" However, I knew all too well that no would probably still had been the answer.

"Yeah, that's completely fine. I'm Moniwa Kaname by the way." He held out his hand before me.

"Thanks, (L/N) (F/N)." I then took his hand in mine and shook it, and his grip was certainly more intense than any I had felt before. "Goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow." I swiftly turned around and headed for the outside, wanting to be out of that situation.

And of course, Futakuchi had one more thing to say, "You better say yes, your highness!" Turning around again, my face met his and glared at him, and I ushered him away with a curt wave of my hand. That thing was infuriating. I tried to keep my walking at its fastest pace possible so I wouldn't be in view of the gym anymore. From checking my watch I noticed I had a decent amount of time before my train came, so maybe I'd do a bit more reading when I arrived at the station.

Walking down, my velocity was set at a mere saunter compared to the jog this morning, the afternoon air hitting my face making me feel somewhat refreshed. My head remained empty for the rest of my stroll, there was no need to think, I was walking down the path solitaire - just admiring whatever new things came into my view. Seeing as though, I didn't really get the chance to that morning. This place was just a completely different world compared to my last hometown.

After arriving at the station, I set my bag down beside me and fumbled around inside it for my book. I had read quite a large portion of its contents earlier, the new page about the oak-leaved geranium. Giving it to someone would mean that you believe that your friendship with the recipient was true, so true that your bond could never be broken. It could also mean that you believe that your friendship outshines every other one in existence. Once again, I thought how beautiful it was that something so powerful could be expressed with something so delicate, something that could easily die if not taken care of. Maybe that was the whole concept behind the language, if you let the flower die - the meaning of the flower would die with it. I sat in thought for minutes more, contemplating the meaning of things we can and could say.

Not so long into the future, the train pulled up. Sparsely packed and there didn't seem to be anything wrong with the vehicle's integrity, quite a pleasant situation - given the shenanigans of the earlier hours of the day. I plonked my body down onto a seat by myself, gazing out the window, this time my thoughts interrupted by the choice I had to make. 'Should I join? But what if there's a person better fitted to the job and they don't get the chance. After all, their original manager was still joined onto the club, she could still come back. But that meant my job wouldn't last that long." I thought to myself, waffling on and on inside my head - almost panicking in a place where nobody could hear. I just couldn't seem to calm my subconscious down by even one peg. I regret to say that the rest of the journey, my mind stayed locked in the state of internal pandaemonium.

I hopped off the train, my head still stirring inside of me. I didn't even acknowledge my parents when I came through the door, I simply clambered up the stairs and flopped straight onto my bed, my head drowned into my pillow. Only coming out for air when I realised what I had said to myself earlier. I'd simply ask Hiroko what clubs her and Rea were in. Propping myself upon my headboard, I typed the digits I had been given by Hiroko.

"Hey Hiroko. It's (Y/N), just a quick question. What clubs are you and Rea in?"

It barely took her thirty seconds to reply.

"Hey!!!!!! I'm with Rea right now! She is in the computing club but she ditches everyday :( I'm in the rowing club but we can't take anymore members. Why'd you ask?

"I've been asked to manage the boys' volleyball team, but I don't really want to."

"OMG!!! That's so cool! Imagine managing a team that's practically famous!"

Famous? Why would a public school like Date Tech be famous? I thought that was a little weird, so I questioned Hiroko about it.

"Famous?"

"Didn't you know?!?! They're basically famous in Miyagi for their iron wall of blocks!!"

"Oh, that's pretty cool I guess. Sorry for troubling you."

"No problem! See you later!"

I thought that it may be cool to manage a 'famous' team, and I wouldn't be the one playing the sport everyday. All I'd have to do was put little things together and keep players like Futakuchi in check. After all, my plan of joining a club with Rea and Hiroko wasn't going to work at all, maybe I'd even get to miss school to go to their matches. I did have to join a club at some point, and there weren't any that caught my attention. Even if I didn't like it - I'd only have to stay until their actual manager got back from Greece.

Didn't Futakuchi say something about disappointing Aone?

"However, I do see that Aone was the one to bring you here, and you wouldn't want to disappoint him would you?"

Did he really mean that? I hadn't even known Aone for 24 hours - wouldn't disappointing him in that way seem strange? But, from what I'd seen Futakuchi do; he was probably just trying to pull my strings for himself. But why was he even trying to do that in the first place? Was he really that desperate for a manager?

I took one deep breath in, attempting to not let the questions drown me again. But other than the grimace, were there really any negatives that came with being their manager? Maybe being their manager would be a good thing to me...

And that's exactly what I was going to do.

#aone #aone takanobu #aone x reader #aone x gn!reader #aone takanobu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader

10 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark / remove it with the kiss of a knife / even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''mutter'' by rammstein

7 notes · View notes

wayward-mikaelson · 3 years

Text

Winter’s Doll--Chapter Five

Word Count: 2052

About: Nadia learns the government won’t release documents to the Avengers and she tells the story about the night her brother died

Characters: Nadia, Bucky, Steve, Bruce, Tony, Natasha, Nikola (flashback) and Fury

Pairing: None

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Language, Implied Sexual Encounter (Flashback), Mention of Character Death, Mention of Government Corruption

A/N: Sorry this is out late. I’ve been dealing with my mental health these last few weeks. I’m doing better a bit more myself. I also have a mini series coming very soon!

*This contains content for the 18 and up crowd. Read at your own discretion

**Please do not copy and paste my work anywhere. You, however, are allowed to copy and paste and reblog the link

***This work is posted on WattPad and Archive of our Own. Links can be found in the pinned post on my profile

****Follow my other accounts. Links can be found in th pinned post on my profile

*****Currently NOT taking requests

******Feedback if welcomed

Forever Tags: @hobby27 @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @elansaidaris @magssteenkamp @440mxs-wife

Forever Marvel Tags: OPEN LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

Bucky/Sebastian Tags: OPEN LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO TAGGED

Winter’s Doll Tags: OPEN LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

Masterlist

Marvel Masterlist

Winter’s Doll Masterlist

Chapter Four

Favorite Fic List

Two weeks after the fake mission—that was a success by the way. If it weren’t for your quick thinking and thought process, Natasha would have gotten away with the flash drive. Nadia sat in the training room staring that the punching bag that hung in front of her. She passed all her tests. She was officially now an Avenger. She should be happy and stuff, but part of her wasn’t for some strange reason.

Nadia had been avoiding just about everyone since it was made official. Nadia dug down deep in her thoughts to try and figure out why she was the way she was. The only thought and person that she came to was Nikola. Her brother.

His death had drove her to become who she was now. The thing he died for, weather it was true or not, was shady all the way around. She had woken up discharged in a VA hospital back in the states. No one would tell her why but that it was a medical injury. She called their bullshit. Nadia was smart and she wanted to figure out what the hell happened to her brother and why they, the government, killed him.

***

“Nadie,” Nikola pulled his sister aside and pinned her against the wall. “You have to miss a few rounds, today. Don’t show them how good you are.”

Nadia coked her head the side. “Why not? I’m one of the best and if I screw up now, I will be relieved of my duties.”

Nikola looked over his shoulder and back at his sisters dark eyes. They were full of question and in a very need of answers. “Just trust me,” Nikola said. “I can’t have them doing what they do to others, to you. I wouldn’t forgive myself.”

Nadia pushed her brother aside. “Okay, whatever you say Nik.”

***

That should have been Nadia’s first red flag. But it wasn’t. Nadia was too busy trying to prove herself and sleeping with her commanding officer. Nadia shivered at the memory of sleeping that man. That man almost ruined her life after Nikola died. But they were over seas and many of them were in desperate need of some sort of relief.

“Hey,” a familiar voice started Nadia.

“Oh, hey,” Nadia said once she realized it was Bucky. “What’s up?” she asked casually, trying to mask the unhappiness with a fake smile.

Bucky rose an eyebrow. Damn, Nadia thought, He sees through that. “Is everything alright?” He sets his gym bag down and walks over to Nadia. “You’ve been a little off lately.”

Nadia hugged her arms around her body. “I guess I’m missing my brother a bit lately.”

If it were possible, Bucky’s eyebrow rose higher. “Is that all?” He asked looking deep into her eyes.

“Yes,” Nadia said confidently. “My brother is supposed to be here but he’s dead. That’s all Bucky.” Nadia dropped her arms. “When we were in the military we actually talked about who would make it here first. My money was actually on him.”

“I’m sorry, Nadie,” Bucky softly said. “You guys were close, I assume.”

Nadia smiled and chuckled. “We were. It was just us two growing up. We were each others best friends. Nik, my brother, always had my back and I had his. We lost friends for it but we didn’t care. We joined together. We were stationed together a few times. We knew each others strength and weaknesses. He even knew that I was being stupid when I slept with my commanding officer.”

Nadia looked up at Bucky who just stared at her. It looked like he was about to say something but a cough had the both of the looking in the doorway. There stood Steve leaning on the door frame. By the way he stood it looked like he had been there for awhile. He pushed himself off the frame and walked in.

“I’m sorry about your brother,” Steve started to say and both Bucky and Nadia noted a tone in his voice that meant he had more to say. “I’m afraid I have some bad news that concerns you and the death of your brother.”

***

Nadia sat in the conference room. All the blinds were drawn to give some sort of privacy but given that Wanda could read minds and stuff, there really wasn’t any sort of privacy. Tony and Steve sat next to each other. Natasha sat next to Nadia and patted her back at the news that had been delivered. Nadia had wished that Bucky was allowed in the room as it didn’t concern him. Bruce, who was in and out of the compound lately, stood in the corner. Nick Fury was on the phone.

“Nadia,” Tony called Nadia by her actual name. Under different circumstances she would probably be petty and teased him, but this wasn’t the time. “Why would the government not give us files related to the night your brother died or most importantly why you were discharged?”

Nadia took a deep breath and looked down at there folded hands. She could feel the shaking of her hands. Nadia took a few deep breaths and quickly threw her hands under the table and looked up.

“We went AWOL that night,” Nadia started to say.

“I knew there was something fishy about you,” Fury said over the phones speaker. Nadia’s eyes dropped down to the table top. Fury wasn’t making this any easier.

“Fury,” Natasha’s voice was firm. “Give her time to talk.”

“Why should I?” Fury’s voice rose an octave. “I didn’t want to hire her but Steve and Tony wanted us to take a chance on her. Now some shady dark shit is popping up. I saw we get rid of her.”

“Fury,” Steve’s voice. “Say another word and I’ll hang up this phone and block you number until we are done. Nadia, you can continue.”

Nadia licked her lips, her eyes not leaving the table top she stared at. “My brother thought the military was corrupt. He was in the process of convincing me when the building we snuck into blew up.”

“Why would your brother think that?” Natasha looked at Nadia.

Nadia fidgeted in her seat. This was the first time she was talking about this with anyone. She thought that she had given it time to settle in her being to talk about Nikola’s death. But Nadia guessed wrong. She felt like her brother was dying all over again.

“It’s okay,” Steve’s soft tone had Nadia looking up from the table. His eyes were softened and the small smile on his lips told her that it was okay.

“Okay,” Nadia whispered. “My brother and I, we weren’t just Special Forces. You see there was a small program that is off books for those who are better. You don’t know it exists until you’re in it.”

Steve nodded and leaned back. “So your brother and you were apart of this program? What did you do?”

Nadia made a face. “We did everything that the US Government wouldn’t let other military branches do. We did stealth missions to retrieve whatever information we needed—whether it was a foreign country or our own. People were killed or hospitalized. Everything was kept off any government record.”

“They why go AWOL and why would they refuse records to us?” Tony asked.

“My brother believed that if we were too good the military sold us off to domestic terror groups,” Nadia continued. She felt the tears stinging her eyes as she got closer to telling her team about that night. “I thought he was crazy because he would keep telling me to slack and fail on things. That night we got into an argument about it and I told him to prove it.”

Nadia remembered in exact detail how her and Nikola snuck off that base. They wore their stealth gear and were armed just in case they had come into contact with anyone. Nadia didn’t realize it but she was gripping the table with such strength that her knuckles were white. She somewhat blamed herself for Nikola dying. But if he was right about any of what she was saying now, then his death saved her.

“What else happened?” Natasha asked.

“We snuck off base,” Nadia hurried to finish the story. She didn’t want to cry in front of her team. She didn’t believe it showed weakness, she just hated crying in front of people. “Nik, my brother, lead us to a building that had secure computers. He was smart with computers. We snuck in and he went away to hacking the computer files to get what he needed.” Nadia looked back on those final minutes before the blast. “He said he was close when we heard alarms go off in the building. He wanted me to leave but I said no.” Nadia’s voice broke. The long awaited tears fall down Nadia’s face as she buried her face in her hands.

Natasha rubbed Nadia’s back. “I know it hurts and that it sucks, but we need you to talk a little more.”

Nadia nodded and wiped her face. “He said that whatever happened to him, he was right. Then the building blew up. I woke up in a VA hospital to the news and discharge papers.”

“Discharge papers?” Bruce’s voice startled everyone. They had forgotten he was standing in the corner of the room.

Nadia nodded. “No reason too. The papers stated that I was just unfit to serve any longer.”

The room was then quiet. Nadia swore she could hear deep breathing outside of the room and was convinced that someone, maybe Bucky, was trying to eavesdrop. Nadia watched the blinking light on the phone. Fury hadn’t said anything at all. But she spoke too soon.

“Rogers, you know what that sounds like?” Fury asked.

“Hydra,” Steve answered.

***

Nadia sat in her room alone. She knew of and about Hydra. The secret evil organization that infiltrated SHIELD some years before. Nadia was certain it wasn’t Hydra but then part of her knew that it could be them.

She went to her closet and started to pour through box after box. Looking at old pictures and and stuff very closely. Looking for that one thing that would give it away that it could be them. But nothing showed up. It was possible that to avoid detection was to remove the Hydra symbol and blend right in with the real world.

“Fuck!” she threw a shoebox of photos across the room in time to hear a knock at the door. “It’s open,” she called out.

Steve opened the door. In hand was a sandwich on a plate and a two beer bottles. “I thought you would want something to eat. What’s all this?” he noticed the mess all over Nadia’s floor.

Nadia took the plate from Steve and took a bite of the sandwich. “I was trying to see if there was anything that could actually tell us if it was Hydra. I remembering taking so many photos over the years while over seas. I thought maybe I would have caught something without knowing.”

Steve was nodding his head. “Smart, did you find anything?”

“Nope,” Nadia took another bite. “My guess, they probably dropped the creepy octopus and stuff and blended in.”

Steve handed her an opened beer. “That’s smart too. After what happened to SHEILD, whatever is remaining of them, they could be trying not to be detected. They could be just about anywhere right now.”

Nadia and Steve poured over more pictures until late that night. Steve was a good person to talk to about this. He was calm and cool and collected about it all. Nadia would hand him one picture after the other. He would looked at them closely for anything that would spark something familiar to him.

Nothing.

“Here,” Nadia shoved all the photos into a single box and handed it off to Steve. “Maybe you can have someone else look these over just in case we missed something.”

Steve took the box and walked to the door. “You know,” he turned back. “If your brother is right about all of this, he save your life. You’re alive to make sure this is exposed. None of this is your fault.”

“Thanks, Cap,” Nadia smiled.

8 notes · View notes

pbandjesse · 3 years

Text

Today was a nice day. I love spring. But I am sick of wearing the same 5 black things for work. I find it so annoying. But I am trying my best to make it work and feel cute. Shoe style helps. And hopefully a new hair style will help too? My consultation appointment is tomorrow so fingers crossed.

I had a pretty alright day though I wasted my morning. I could not sleep again last night. I was up until past 2am. It was not fun. But the actual sleep was okay.

Because I couldnt fall asleep I slept until almost 10. James texted me to see if I was okay. Mostly I was just. So tired. I was not a good temperature and I was uncomfortable and it sucked. But I forced myself to get up.

I made the bed and washed my face. I got dressed and felt pretty good. I had toast and grapes for breakfast. Sat in the dungeon with James. Played a little animal crossing. I just wanted to catch cherry blossoms. So I did that until I had 10 and then moved to the couch to hang out.

At 11 I decided I would put my skates on. I think I may try to skate outside this weekend, but I just moved our furniture in the living room and skated for like 20 minutes. It was nice. I feel pretty confident and my breaking is getting better. So I may move to trying to skate more outside. Alone. Even though that scares me.

After I skated I got my backpack and a snack, and kissed James goodbye.

I actually left like 10 minutes to early. I thought I would walk more but I still ended up at work to early so I sat on the bench outside and listened to my podcast. It was nice.

Work was pretty good. The only issue I had was that our classroom is very hot (the AC is actually broken! Ugh) and we are going to have 6 more students next week. So thats going to be a lot. But honestly besides that today was pretty good.

I spent some time setting up project stuff. I wanted to teach them the exquisite corpse game, so I drew up some sheets like I said I was going to. And it worked so well!! We played after snack and they really seemed to like it and after they asked all their questions we played two rounds and I collected all of them and showed everyone and talked a little about each one. Lots of laughs. It was nice.

I also made sheets for making the parts of the plant. And drew it up on the board. After gym they came down and I taught them about plants. We talked about edible plants and when some plants are only edible in certain ways. And how flowers can become fruit. And how some things are poisonous. And then I explained that they didnt have to draw the same flower I drew, that other plants have similar parts, like a tree or a cactus. And then they drew their own and it was great. They were very good workers today and I was really proud of them.

We just spent some time hanging out. Some kids were drawing. I read a few books to them. It was mostly nice. But also just long. The whole day just felt very draggy. Just slow. But we got to the end.

We put on a movie for the end of the day but there were only a couple kids left and they just wanted to lay on the ground. Which was fine. I was almost falling asleep honestly. And I got to go home at 530 and I basically rushed out of there.

I went home and was starving. I had leftover mac and cheese real quick while James finished their work. And then after 6 when James was done we headed out.

My bike was getting new breaks. So we walked to the bike store. I decided to also stop at the art store since its right there. I had never been in this one and was surprised how big it was. I will have to go back there soon. I could use some refreshed supplies. I got mold making stuff. And then headed down to meet James at the bike store.

As I came around the corner I went to say hi to James and then I saw a cat on the ground! A cat with a huge nose!! Turns out it was the shop cat and it let me pick it up and hold it and pet it until my bike was done. I was having a blast holding this very old man cat. What a sweetheart. Just a bag of bones that was purring up a storm. It was so nice.

Once my bike was ready I said goodbye to the cat and me and James biked to go have dinner. It was nice to bike. I need to work on doing it more. Stop feeling so stuck at home. But it was nice to be out.

We sat at a picnic table and ordered pizza and things. It was nice just being out together. I was feeling really tired though. I hate that Im just low level tired and disconnected all the time. But I was having nice date with my partner and I was happy.

We biked home. And I was a little frustrated with James because we had trouble finding a trash can so they were holding the pizza box and insisted on putting our soda cans in the pocket of their hoodie and then wouldnt stop complaining about them even though I kept saying to just put them in my bike basket. So I was just a little frustrated. But we got home and once we were inside it was fine.

We laid in bed and watched videos for a while. And at 9 we finally got up and I went and took a bath. Washed my hair. Shaved my legs and arms. One of my kids today kept rubbing my arm and telling me it was "sharp", I told them Im prickly like a cactus and we had a good laugh. But now I am smooth and ready for bed.

I hope I can sleep okay tonight. And then I will have a nice morning and have my hair consultation. And I hope you all have a nice day too. Goodnight everyone.

3 notes · View notes

mindofharry · 4 years

Note

could u maybe write something ab harry and the reader reuniting after taking a break for a while 🥺 just something a lil angsty and fluffy

🥺 pls i hurt my own feelings :( not proof read!!

send feedback pls!!

it had been a year since y/n and harry had parted ways. it was a surprise to most. friends and fans mostly. the family had known that something was up, but they could never quite pinpoint what. the relationship wasn’t really going anywhere. harry was touring and y/n had work. and god did they try. they tried so hard. they were in love at the some point, maybe even still deep down.

harry had suggested the break. and although, they both knew it was coming, it didn’t hurt any less.

y/n was distraught. after she collected the last think out of their shared apartment, she knew she should’ve begged and cried more. but she didn’t. and harry, of course he was upset, but this time apart really did him good. he wrote amazing songs and experienced stuff he would’ve never experienced if they were still together.

y/n ended hitting her breaking point. she saw harry and how happy he was. he did suggest the break, she thought to herself. she obviously knew how hard it was for both of them. and he was probably still upset. but she just didn’t get how he moved on in a couple of months and why couldn’t she? why did she still have hope that he would call, when she knew he wouldn’t. she knew the break was a break up. she could tell. she’s been through it once before, she’s seen it happen to friends and family members. they don’t get back together. and y/n just needs to make piece with that.

and somehow she did. she went back to college in september, to become a teacher. it was a dream of hers since she was child, but it kind of got pushed to the side when she met harry. she met loads of people when her and bestfriend did a week trip to paris. she cut her hair. she got a tattoo. she did everything to forget. she smoked, she drank, she laughed, she cried. but nothing could help her forget harry. her love. her only love.

harry and y/n met in school and were best friends all through the years — until harry went to x factor. they stopped talked for 2 years, before reconnecting at a party, in 2013. immediately they fell in love. she was at every awards show, every event, every family dinner, every boys night. she was there for him with the band went on hiatus, when he released his album, when he made a movie. she was there through it all. it started to fall apart when harry went on tour. they didn’t call as much. or when they did they didn’t finish with i love you. and they fought. they fought a lot.

“i’m not being selfish harry!” y/n exclaimed standing up from her spot on the sofa. “i sit here all day, everyday, waiting for you to come home. waiting for an i love you. so please excuse me for wanting you to myself for a little longer!” y/n cried.

they fought over mostly the same things, harry never there, y/n being clingy. that was it. y/n was never clingy, she just cared a lot. she loved him so much. and harry was there, just not as much as she’d like.

a year later, while y/n was in the bath, her phone dinged. she had been really detached from her phone recently. she deleted all social media when they went on a break, only using her phone to text and call. most people just called her house phone, so she was surprised when she got a text.

harry:

hi! wondering if we could meet up at our coffee place tomorrow? need to talk x H

y/n’s heart was beating so fast. not in a bad way though. she truly missed harry and couldn’t wait to see him, even if it ended in a fight, at least she got one last look.

y/n:

sure! i’ll meet you at 12!! see you soon x :D

she smiled to herself reading over the texts before putting her phone down and continuing her bath.

everything would be ok.

soon enough, the morning came and y/n was forced out of bed by her new puppy, harley. she loved him dearly, so she felt a little refreshed every morning bringing him outside. she always woke up with a smile with him in the house. she had got him, because she was very lonely, when summer approached — and god, harley really was an angel. y/n could finally fall asleep without anxiety.

“i’m gonna see harry today, bubba” she pouted looking down at her puppy. the puppy practically smiled at her sticking his tongue out. “hopefully you’ll meet him soon, pup” she smiled petting his head before going to the shower.

once she had done all her hygiene and gotten dressed, she grabbed an apple and made her way to the back garden with a book. she could relax for a couple more hours, before she had to meet harry. she really needed to calm down. she was making herself very paranoid.

after calming herself down, she checked the time at saw it was 11:30. y/n never liked being late, so she kissed her dog good bye before going to her car. she played some aretha franklin on the way to their coffee place. it soothed her a bit.

when she reached the coffee place she spotted harry’s car already there.

“you can do this, baby. come on” she said to herself before patting her face and getting out of her car.

y/n didn’t know what was going to happen. she was just thankful that he was giving her the time of day. she missed him a lot. but they definitely needed they break, she learned that the hard way.

“y/n!” she heard the voice coming from behind her. there he stood, tall and in black shorts. he looked like he just came back from the gym. he wasn’t sweaty though, which was good.

“harry” y/n smiled walking over to him. they weren’t awkward at all, immediately hugging eachother and harry kissing y/n on the cheek. “you look great” harry said looking at her hair. y/n rolled her eyes “look at you! gym boy” she teased and harry rolled his eyes in return.

“i saved us a spot”

the whole experience was really good for them. it was positive and they closure they both needed. they talked about music and clothes and drugs and paris and everything. it was like they were best friends again. everything just fit. it was like a puzzle, and they were the missing pieces.

“i- look, i think the break did us a lot of good. we’ve both grown - in a good way. and we’re both happier. we said we’d give it a year” harry said the inevitable. they were good together, the loved eachother an imense amount.

y/n sighed and looked up to harry “i’m willing to try again, if you are”

harry smirked leaning a crossing the table “oh yeah. i’m never letting you go again, baby”

39 notes · View notes

justjessame · 4 years

Text

Put Me In Coach 2

“He’s watching you,” Mary whispered, as I looked at her in confusion. “Coach Negan has been eye fucking you ever since he walked into the cafeteria.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re fucking insane.” I let my eyes fall back to the book in my hand. “He’s not looking at me, and if he is, then it’s probably because the random thought of ‘oh shit, have I done inventory lately’ popped into his head.” Eric snickered from beside me. I took a drink from my bottle of water and pretended I was reading. He was staring at me. I could feel it across the crowded room. I just couldn’t acknowledge it. Even though I’m eighteen and technically an adult, he’s still a fucking teacher. And married. A flash of guilt gnawed in my stomach. I couldn’t think of her, his wife.

“If this is insanity, than fuck if I don’t want a dose of what you’re having.” Eric muttered, and then I felt him. Behind me, the musky scent of him, his heat. Fuck.

“Miss Kendall.” That fucking voice of his. It didn’t help that I knew exactly how deep it could get, and just how hot he could sound moaning my name. I licked my lips and felt his hand touch my shoulder.

“Yeah, Coach.” I was happy to hear my voice both steady and not breathless. I looked up at him over my shoulder and smiled. “Is there a problem?”

His eyes were dark. A darkness I was learning very well. “Not a problem, Miss Kendall, a reminder.” I swallowed as he pulled his hand back. “You promised to give me a hand,” I heard Eric snicker again and closed my eyes. “With grading.” I nodded and bit my lip.

“Of course,” I took a deep breath. “I have a free period after lunch.” It was the second semester and I didn’t have his class anymore. The free period was actually an independent study that I was doing, but what’s the point of it if I couldn’t be independent?

Negan smiled down at me. “See you then.” He nodded a parting to my now silent best friends and walked away. I turned back to my book.

“Tell me he’s bent you over his desk and spanked you until you couldn’t sit down comfortably.” Eric practically moaned. “Please throw me that one fucking bone, bitch.”

I shook my head and ignored him. “Come on, Eric,” Mary said, her eye roll evident in her tone. “We’re talking about PERFECT Amara Kendall here. What would Coach Negan have to spank her over?”

“Mary, Mary, Mary,” Eric sounded completely bored with that line. “Remember that Amara fucking Kendall had to retake PE because of her fucking mouth. Wait, has he fucked your mouth?” Damn it. The insatiable curiosity of these two assholes would kill me.

I shook my head and continued to ignore them. “She’s not talking, Eric. Quiet as a fucking tomb.” Mary sounded so put out that I nearly giggled. Nearly. “Unlike us, her BEST FRIENDS, she doesn’t share. Shouldn’t surprise us, I guess, she never shared in kindergarten either.”

That did it. I laughed. “You are such thirsty fucking whores.” I shook my head and sat down my book. “Kindergarten? Really?” I rolled my eyes. “You’re never gonna forgive me for that fucking Barbie doll are you?”

“It was Ken, bitch, and you wouldn’t share him so I could reenact all my debased ideas.” She was glaring at me and Eric as we laughed. “I had such creativity and it was STARVED because you wouldn’t share.”

“I saved you from being forced into therapy, you twisted asshole.” I was shaking with laughter. “Seriously, what five year old acts out that kind of shit in kindergarten?”

“A creative one,” Eric snickered. “Creative and had too much access to Skinamax.”

We were all laughing now. Fuck, I loved the two idiots. But I couldn’t share what Negan and I were doing. They knew something happened, but he was STILL a fucking teacher. And I wasn’t going to lose him his job. “You know I want to share, but-” I sighed. “The less you know, the less you could be asked.”

“Do you honestly think that anyone would question us?” Eric scoffed. “You’re an adult, Amara. No one cares.”

“Well, the board might,” Mary shrugged. “What?” Eric had shot her a look. “It’s true. She has a point. He’s a teacher, not HER teacher, but he’s still a teacher.” She took my hand. “Sorry, we’ve been pushing for info, Amara. I think I get it now.” I squeezed her hand. “Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop giving you shit, but I won’t ask for details.” I rolled my eyes.

“Fine, yeah, me too.” Eric begrudgingly agreed. “But the SECOND we get our fucking diplomas, I want GRAPHIC fucking details. Videos if you have them.”

I walked to the gym after lunch and grinned as I watched Negan bark out orders to the class. “I’m leaving you all to your own devices, but I swear to Christ if I hear a Lord of the Flies situation going down, I will shut that shit down immediately. Understood?” A round of agreement and he motioned for them to grab the equipment of their choosing.

“Miss Kendall.” He greeted me as I made my way through his students. “Let’s go into my office and we’ll get started with that stack of papers to grade.” The door had barely shut behind him when I turned and met his arms and mouth. Groaning into one another’s searching hands and ravenous mouths, I felt his hands sliding down my back to pull up my skirt over my hips. His fingers met lace and his teeth nipped at my lip. And then the panties met the same fate that each and every pair before them had, luckily I found a place to buy in bulk.

My hands were tugging down the elastic of his shorts, and then as though Eric had wished it, I was bent over the desk. But instead of a spanking, I was getting something better. He slid inside of me fully and then his hand was wrapped around my throat and pulling me back into his chest. Fuck. As we moved together, my head turning to search for his mouth and him anticipating my want and meeting me, I felt that build. The one that had become as natural as breathing to me. The climb toward an orgasm with Negan pounding into me with an expertise that only he had.

Roaring through both of us, I fell forward on the desk with a quiet chuckle as he followed me, his body over top of my own, always so hesitant to pull away. Pull out before he had to, he was completely against that. He wanted to feel me, for as long as we could stay joined, and I loved it. His weight against me, front or back, the feeling of him slowly leaving me. Hell even the mess that he left behind, until both of us could stand and our breaths weren’t pants any longer. Then he’d wipe me clean, kissing my knees or my thigh and smile up at me.

“I’m getting used to this, Amara.” He said, once I was clean and my skirt was down, panties replaced with a spare pair I kept in my bag. “You, this.” He had replaced his own clothes and was sitting in his desk chair. “Fuck if I’m not gonna miss you next year.”

I sighed, and sat on his lap. Letting my head find the crook of his shoulder, I played with the buttons on his polo shirt. “I’m not going far, Negan.” I offered, we’d been having this conversation a lot lately. “Besides,” I swallowed, not wanting to remind him or me of HER. “Maybe it’s for the best.” I offered instead. “I leave, your life gets back to normal.”

He chuckled into my hair. “Normal?” I felt him inhale deeply. “What the fuck is Normal, princess?” I didn’t actually think he was asking me, so I didn’t answer. “Still gonna fucking miss you.”

I smiled, and tilted my head up so I could look into his face. “I’ll miss you too, Coach.” I winked and he grinned. “Now, are there actual tests to grade, or was this an elaborate farce to get me alone and at your mercy?”

He laughed and opened a drawer filled with paper. “There’s always shit to grade, Amara, you know that.” And then he let me up, and left the office so I could grade his papers while he went back to teaching. I wondered, pulling a red pen out of his drawer, would he really miss me? Or was I just the latest in a long line of students that he’d done this with before?

“Amara!” I heard a loud male voice yell as I was leaving the school at the end of the day. Looking around I found the source. Joe Malberry. Captain of the wrestling team. I’d gone out on two dates with Joe, he’d asked me to Homecoming and I turned him down. I waited until he caught up with me, wondering what he could possibly want now.

“Hey, Joe.” I smiled up at him. He was broad. In his shoulders and everywhere else. Trust me, I knew. “What’s up?”

He was smiling down at me. His huge body blocked the sun effectively. ‘Hey, Amara, I was wondering, do you have a date yet for the Spring formal?” Ugh, this again. But I stopped myself from a fast no. Why shouldn’t I go to at least a few dances my final year?

“When is it again?” I hadn’t paid any attention to the notices.

“Two weeks from Friday.” He offered, his smile deepening at my interest.

“Sure.” I answered, nodding. “Why not?”

He hugged me and twirled me around making me laugh. “Fucking awesome.” He set me back on my feet and grinned. “Just tell me the color of your dress and I’ll pick out your corsage and make sure we don’t clash.” Shit, he was excited.

“Absolutely, Joe.” I smiled and walked away after promising him to give him details he needed and plans to call him to hash out the plans. I was almost in my car when I felt it. Someone’s eyes on me, and looking up I saw Negan staring a hole into me from outside the gym. Shit.

Maybe I wasn’t such an adult. If I was, then I probably would have gone over to Negan and discussed what he must have witnessed between Joe and me. I would have just admitted that going to the dance sounded mildly fun. That Joe was a good guy and maybe, if I was feeling particularly brave, I’d admit that Joe and I had, once upon a time, screwed like rabbits.

Or, I could drive the fuck home and pretend he hadn’t seen or had that look on his face. I could force down dinner. I could fake my way through homework. I could take a LONG hot bath and then open up my laptop to look at formal dresses to get an idea of what I wanted to wear. And hairstyles. And shoes. Anything other than looking at my cell phone that had been dinging text message alerts since I drove away.

I knew it was him. It had to be. We’d promised the cell phone was an emergency only thing, but how many times had we broken that rule? And to Negan, this might actually constitute an emergency. Maybe. But I wasn’t nearly ready to look and see what he might be saying or texting. Not yet. I was a coward.

I was printing off a few hairstyle ideas when my phone rang. OK that wasn’t him. He NEVER called. He couldn’t. Not from home. Not where she was.

I tapped the answer button without looking down. “Hello?” I was still clicking through websites and came up short when I heard his voice. Shit.

“Miss Kendall?” Fuck. “I think we’re gonna have to discuss your performance today, privately.”

Fuck, shit, fuck. “Coach, I can explain.” I tried, but he stopped me from continuing.

“Which may have worked if you came to me today, Miss Kendall.” And hadn’t ignored my texts, I heard the unspoken irritation. “I expect you in my office first thing in the morning. Be prepared for-” I waited, swallowing hard. “Just be prepared, Miss Kendall.”

Damn it. He hung up before I could say another word. Which forced me to look at his texts.

Amara, what the fuck?

Young lady, answer me.

Amara, you need to explain what I fucking witnessed earlier.

Damn it, answer me, Amara.

If I don’t get an answer in the next ten fucking minutes, you’re gonna wish you had.

That was the last one. Shit. I should have fucking answered. I should have BRBd him or TTYLd. Something, anything, cause I had a fucking feeling that Eric would be getting a very clear graphic of his fantasy when I couldn’t sit down all day tomorrow.

I had trouble sleeping. I had trouble waking up. I had a shit ton of trouble getting out of bed and facing the day ahead. I was screwed. And not in any of the most enjoyable ways. I bit my lip and considered how to divert him from the very clear aggravation that he was feeling. First, armor.

I got up, reluctantly, but determined. Pulling a pair of the tightest jeans I owned from a drawer, a pair of boy silky boy short panties, and a strappy sports bra, I had a flash of brilliance. Stepping out of my bedroom, I yelled down the hallway for my dad.

Mom’s head popped out of their bedroom, half her face made up the other still a work in progress. “He’s already left for the day, Mara.” She offered, taking in my unusual outfit. “What did you need?”

“A sports jersey.” I said, walking toward her. “It’s dress up day at school, you know senior shenanigans.” She was giving me a look of wonder. Shit, why didn’t I play nice at school more with the stupidity. “Doesn’t Dad have a few from when he goes out with the guys?” My dad liked to pretend now and then that he liked silly things like sports.

She nodded, still looking at me like I’d been a victim of a body snatching. “Yeah, come in and go to the far back of his closet.” She sat down at her vanity and glanced at me as I made my way to his closet. “Those jeans, honey, are they-”

“Decent?” I asked, with a snicker. “Sure. If you squint past the painted on fabric and strategic tears.” I was flicking through Dad’s clothes until I spotted it. Baseball jersey for the win. And since it buttoned, I could, once I left the house, unbutton it and show off the very nice and very fetching sports bra I was wearing. “Thanks, Mom.” I offered, dropping a quick kiss on her cheek as I bounced out of her room.

“Amara, do take a change of clothes, just in case.” I rolled my eyes. And my friends wondered why I was the way I was.

“Absolutely, Mom.” I agreed, and went back to my room to finish getting ready.

Hair up in a high ponytail. A pair of blinding white chucks on my feet. Baseball cap I found in the hall closet tucked in my bag. An extra outfit on a hanger, just so my mom wouldn’t lose her shit. And then I was out the door. Early, way earlier than anyone should ever willingly show up at their school, but I was there.

I parked my car and pulled my bag out. Pulling the cap on my head and pulling my ponytail through the hole, I took a deep breath to prepare myself. If nothing else, the fact that I was wearing jeans and a jersey should throw him off his game. And if Negan was off his game, then maybe I could explain myself before I had anything to really worry about. Right? Sure, I promised myself. Negan could be reasonable. He WAS reasonable.

I walked through the empty hallways, the quiet feeling far more surreal and foreboding than any other time before. The silence stretched out before me, my shoes’ soles too soft to even give me the comfort of my own footfalls. I reached the gym before I was ready. Truthfully would I ever be ready to reach him? Nope.

His office door was closed and I almost thought I beat him to the school, but I saw the sliver of light peeking out and nearly groaned. Fuck. I took a moment to give myself a pep talk. Negan was an adult. He just didn’t know how to categorize what he’d seen between me and Joe. Once I explained, leaving out that we’d had sex, he’d be fine. He expected me to do normal senior things. Hadn’t he asked me about Homecoming and Prom? He understood that this was normal. He just didn’t like that I hadn’t told him about it. Calmer, I knocked and heard him tell me to come in.

“Miss Kendall.” He greeted me and my stomach did a flip. Shit he was really truly pissed. “Close the door.” Damn it.

I complied, and when I turned around I felt another flip in my stomach and thanked God I hadn’t had breakfast. Lying in the middle of his desk was the paddle that our principal always referred to as “Spanky” and lovingly reminded us of the day when it was used to hand out the real punishment. Fuck.

“Interesting outfit, Miss Kendall.” Good he’d noticed. “You don’t usually wear jeans. Especially jeans that look like they’ve been painted on.” Fuck. He didn’t sound diverted. He sounded irritated. Shit. “Gonna make the next few minutes take longer than they should, but trust me, they’re gonna happen.” Shit, fuck, shit.

“Negan.” His eyes flashed to mine. OK, nope. “Coach Negan.” I corrected and when he didn’t move I felt comfortable to go on. “Look, I know what you saw yesterday could be interpreted a few ways, but it’s not what you think.” I don’t think, anyway, I added in my head. “Joe was just asking-”

He stood up and I squeaked. Like a mouse. Shit. “What, Miss Kendall, did good ol Joe ask?” Fuck.

I swallowed down another squeak. “He asked me to the spring formal.” I rushed out, he was studying me. “I accepted.” That came out more or less as a breath.

“The spring formal?” Why did he sound so fucking dangerous repeating me? I nodded. “And you said yes?” Another nod. “But you couldn’t take five fucking seconds out of your day to pick up the fucking phone and tell me that?” Shit. Fuck. Shit.

“I just-” What? I tried to ask myself. What didn’t I just? “I didn’t want to-”

Negan had come closer as I was struggling to find words to explain something I didn’t quite understand myself. “You didn’t want to what, Amara?” He was so close I could feel his body heat. “Tell me you were ready to play high school senior? To tell me that you wanted to play in the kiddie pool after telling me that you didn’t want a ‘boy’?” All my words, all coming back to haunt me. Shit.

“It’s not like that, Negan.” I offered, looking up at him. “I just thought, maybe, one fucking dance-”

“You wanted to go to a dance?” He sounded like a broken record, spitting back my words with various levels of disbelief. “With the captain of the wrestling team?” Damn it, I knew he’d get to that part. “Didn’t you turn down good ol Joe at Homecoming?”

“Yes,” I answered, waiting for the next onslaught.

He nodded, and bit his lip. “Why would good ol Joe be willing to risk another possible rejection?” He was studying me again, and I know he saw the faint blush that hit me. “Ah, so good ol Joe was rejected for the dance, but NOT for the DANCE.”

I fought rolling my eyes. Wasn’t he supposed to be the fucking adult here? “Does that matter?”

“Yes, Miss Kendall, it fucking matters.” His eyes were blazing on mine. “It matters because you’re gonna go to a fucking dance with a guy who WILL expect a repeat of that early performance. It matters because NOW I’m gonna have to fucking go to a fucking high school dance and chaperone it. It matters because I’m gonna fucking brain his stupid ass if he fucking puts his hand lower than your upper back.”

“Negan,” I felt my eyes widening. “You can’t.” He was glaring down at me. “You can’t do any of that. You’ll lose your fucking job.”

“And whose fault is that, princess?” Shit, the heart of the matter. “Take off that ball cap.” I tugged it off and tossed it onto the chair. “Now, unbutton those ridiculous fucking jeans and bend over that desk.” Damn it, fucking Eric’s wet dream for the win. I unsnapped the button and unzipped the zipper.

“Should I-” I started but he shook his head. OK. I leaned over the desktop.

“Face down,” the coolness of the metal touched my cheek. I felt his hands on my waist, and then his fingers on the waistband of my jeans. He began tugging them down, muttering at how tight they were as he worked. “If you fucking thought wearing these fucking pants was going to somehow fucking deter your punishment, sweetheart, I think you’re gonna be fucking upset. Cause it’s increasing the fucking shit, right now.” Fuck. “What the fuck are these?” Oh, the boy shorts. “Princess, where the fuck did you get these fucking things?” His fingers snapped the elastic silk of the panties.

“I don’t know, some store.” I truly had no fucking clue. They were basically toss away period pants if I had to be honest.

“They’re ridiculous too.” He was irritated and only getting more so as he tugged and pulled the jeans down. “These fucking things should be in the goddamn trash. If I didn’t want to murder anyone who might see your naked ass, I’d rip the fuckers off and toss them myself.” Don’t tell him you have a spare set of clothes, don’t tell him, even if that sounded hot as fuck.

I bit my lip when his hands and my jeans and panties met my ankles. The light air against my naked bottom half felt weird, and weirder still when he tossed my dad’s jersey out of his way. “Where the fuck did you get this?” Shit, wasn’t he just fucking curious all over this morning.

“It’s my dad’s.” I answered, and he grunted. “Should I chuck it in the fire, too?”

“Sir.” He corrected. Shit. He was serious.

“Sir?” I asked, hoping that he wasn’t going to go full on Eric’s greatest wet dream ever on me.

“That’s right, Amara. Sir.” I nodded my understanding. “You understand that you asked for this, don’t you, princess?” I nodded again. “Words, Amara.”

“Yes, sir.” I answered, and felt myself get a bit damper. Shit. “I asked for this because I didn’t answer you yesterday, sir.” Fuck if this wasn’t the best fucking bad thing I’d ever done.

“Good girl.” Shit, my stomach clenched at the praise. “Now, since it’s your first infraction, I’m not gonna go too hard on you, but remember this, princess, so you don’t have to experience it again.” Yeah, right.

Spanky the paddle was right beside me, but he didn’t pick it up. Instead, I felt his hand smooth down the skin of my ass and bit my lip. Guess old Spanky was just a fucking prop, I thought, right as Negan brought his hand down full force on my ass. Fuck. I nearly jumped off the desk from the sting. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Count, princess, you’re getting fifteen.” Fuck was that his favorite fucking number?

“One, sir.” Fuck fuck fuck. And then another smack. And I counted. Each and every fucking one, from one to fifteen. Shit. I could feel the sting and burn. I knew that those fucking jeans were going to constitute as more fucking torture. I was also so wet that all I could possibly wish to take my mind off the literal flames of my burning skin was for Negan to bury himself deep inside of me and take care of my other pain.

“Pull up your pants, Amara.” WHAT? I shot him a look of disbelief over my shoulder. “It’s a punishment, princess.”

No fucking shit. Fuck. I stood carefully and bent over to grab my panties. Shit, this was gonna suck. I took my sweet time tugging the thin silky fabric over my burning ass. OUCH. I let them settle on my no doubt flaming red skin, then reached down for the jeans. This took far more time. More time than it took him to get them down my legs. More time that it took to put them on earlier at my house. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as the denim brushed my ass, even with the slight barrier of those fucking boy short panties. OUCH. Damn it. Once they were up, I buttoned them and zipped up.

When I turned to face Negan, I realized I wasn’t the only one who had enjoyed at least part of my punishment. Without waiting for instruction, I carefully got to my knees. What the hell, why not go full throttle submission? Looking up at him, I tugged his track pants down his hips and careful of his obvious need, I settled them on top of his shoes around his ankles. I watched his face as I rose up higher onto my knees and licked his hard shaft from tip to bottom. Nothing, just watched me. No words, no touch. Just his eyes on me. Well shit. Opening my mouth, I took him inside, using my tongue and then adding my hand for good measure.

Finally after the fourth bob of my head, I felt it. His hips thrusting ever so slightly forward. I worked harder and was rewarded by his hands sliding under my ponytail. And as he finally got into the swing of things, so to speak, his fucking mouth kicked into gear.

“That’s right, princess, take my cock, just fucking like that.” He pushed a bit too far and I gagged, again thankful that I’d had no breakfast. “Take it, sweetheart, take it.” And I swallowed my saliva and him, by fucking accident. Shit. “Oh fuck,” he moaned, and then, like I wasn’t entirely prepared for, he came. Down my fucking throat. That he was down because of a fucking accident.

It was swallow or choke so swallow I did. He started to go limp, but I waited, just as I always did when we finished having sex. And, just like during our normal fuckings, he helped me up and cleaned me up. My face this time. Tugging on my ponytail, he smiled down at me.

“Do you still want to go to the fucking dance?” He asked, but the heat of his anger was almost gone from his voice.

“Yeah, I do.” I answered, leaning against the desk and then hissing at the feeling of burning pain. Shit. “Damn it.” He grinned at me. Oh, sure, you can sit down, fucker.

His fingers brushed my errant bangs away. “Fine.” Was that permission? “I’ll go let Turtle Jones know I’m in for fucking chaperone duty.” Shit was he serious?

“Negan,” I began, but he brushed his lips against mine.

He shook his head when he pulled away. “This is non-negotiable, Amara. You go, I go.” Shit, fuck, shit. “Now get going, class is starting in ten minutes.” Shit. I grabbed my bag and the cap, and as I moved to pass him, he swatted me on my ass. FUCK. “Have a good day, princess.” OUCH.

#negan x ofc #coach negan x student #The Walking Dead #Smut #spank #punishment

40 notes · View notes