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#but rather one system is screwing up the whole thing for everyone and the people who are in charge and arent effected
maegalkarven · 6 months
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An interlude. What now?
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Happens between Empty Prayers and Dreams of Red.
Nemo tries to be serious and Think of the Future. It backfires.
Characters: Dark Urge (Nemo), Enver Gortash, Astarion, Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart, Gale, Lae'zel.
TW: mentions of cannibalism, questionable way to raise children (Nemo wtf), canon-typical Durge behavior.
Info about Nemo's assassins:
https://www.tumblr.com/maegalkarven/732101148639707136/so-i-actually-created-most-of-the-notable?source=share
"You do realize we all are doomed, right?" The question comes out of nowhere amidst of one of the calmest nights they have. It breaks the feeble illusion of peace right away.
"Now, you don't have to put it like that," Gale tries. "We still have some choices-"
"Blowing yourself up is not a choice," Wyll cuts out, uncharacteristically sour.
"But-"
"No, Gale," Shadowheart agrees. "No more stupid self-sacrifices for the gods who do not deserve that. Besides, you remember what Gortash said? What if you have done as Mystra wanted you to and detonated the orb in the illithid colony, it would turn every parasite-infested person into mindflayer?"
"I'm not sure how much we can trust a word of the former Chosen of Bane."
"Fair," the former Chosen of Shar agrees. "I wouldn't trust him either. But something tells me this time he was telling the truth."
"He also sits just across you, if your memory is that fragile," Gortash comments. "And thank you, not like I was thinking of impending doom and our deaths for every hour of every day now."
"Not like you kickstarted this whole event," Karlach comments.
"And what would you have me to do, let Orin kill Nemo?"
"Well, you could have not tried to conquer the world using the extremely dangerous magical artifact and, you know, the Elder Brain."
"You keep saying that, but I have yet to hear a single idea how to fix it and for us, you know, not die drastically and like fools."
"Everyone always dies like a fool," Astarion comments. "Death is dumb like that."
"If you'd only let me finish," Nemo raises his voice. "And stopped this 'woe are us, we are doomed' crying-"
"We are listening," Wyll tries. "Oh, well, at least I am trying to."
Nemo sends him a grateful look.
"Alright, let's start it anew, you literal bickering children-"
"Hey-"
"Gortash started it-"
"Oh, fuck off-"
"Quiet," and surprisingly, they all quiet down. This is who Nemo is forced to work with these days. Unbelievable.
"We are screwed. This is not me being overly dramatic, this is not me being pessimistic, this is the actual truth we're dealing with. The Elder brain has one stone and if it wasn't breaking out of the hold before - which he was, very much - it's clearly out of it now. Now, the questions why it hasn't turned everyone into mindflayers and why it's playing laying low for now is a mystery, but-“
"It's luring us back to it," Astarion comments. "What? Can't we offer our thoughts too? I didn't know it's One Man show you're having here."
"You have no idea how many people have been stabbed over interrupting him mid speech," Gortash comments. "Me included."
"Oh yeah, well, maybe try to not talk over me, asho-"
"I wasn't talking over you-"
"Just like you aren't doing it now?" Nemo glares at him. "You're lucky I need you alive."
"Thank you oh so kindly, the gracious one-"
"Tsk'va," Lae'zel interrupts the quarrel. "You two desire to tear into each other’s flesh so much it makes you stupid. Go get the urges out of the system and come back when you're capable of being rational."
This comment, made with intention of calming things down, has rather the opposite effect.
"You're the one to talk," Nemo hisses as his face reddens.
"I do not ‘desire to tear into his flesh’," Gortash argues.
Astarion laughs.
"Yes, and I am not a vampire spawn."
"Can we not fight?" Wyll, an unfortunate voice of reason amidst this chaos.
"Oh, I don't know," Gale smirks. "I rather find it amusing to watch."
"You know what?" Nemo snaps. "Go on, detonate this orb. I'm done with it."
"Now I'm not going to, purposely because you asked me so nicely."
"I fucking hate this family."
"Karlach, you already said that."
"It doesn't mean I hate it any less."
"I miss my children," Nemo suddenly chimes in. "They listened to me."
"Your who?"
"Oh, please," Gortash snorts. "I once saw one of your children stab her brother over something minor."
"It was their brother and it was nothing minor. He took their target, that's just rude."
"I'm sorry," Gale tries. "Can we backtrack now? What children are you talking about now?"
Nemo blinks at them.
"Oh," he exclaims. "My assassins, of course, the ones I personally brought into the fold."
"And the reason you address them as children is because..?"
"They were orphans Nemo picked up from the streets," Gortash mentions. "At least that's what I was told."
"Excuse me, what?" Karlach, indignation flaring with her fire. "You stole children?"
"First of all, it's kidnapped and not stole. Second of all, they came willingly," Nemo scoffs. "And really, do you think they had any other choice? Do you think any good life was waiting for them? I saved their lives."
"You've abducted children into the cult and made them killers," Wyll speaks. "Nemo, this is-"
"Wrong?" He interrupts. "How wrong can it truly be? They would die without me, or better yet, get killed. Do you think there's mercy for a girl who took a life of her stepfather? Whose mother blamed her for the murder even if said stepfather was in dire need of killing?" He pierces Wyll with a sharp stare.
"Do you think Flaming Fists would save a little tiefling boy with too much magic in his blood? Do you think they'd get to the mad crowd in time and protect the boy from it? Do you think they'd even care?  A tiefling child, an evil child, a hellspawn. No one would miss him, no one would cry for him. And," he smiles and this smile looks poisonous.
"Do you think your honorable father would spare a child whose survival was linked to the deal with the fiend? Do you think he, who exiled his own son, would look at destruction of the House Et'rris, at the only surviving its member, linked to a devil, and help them? Save them?" His voice drops to a low tone.
"How dare you judge me? You were not there to save these children, I was. What did I do but gave them a second chance? What did I do but gave them home? Where else would they go? Who else would feed starving orphans on the streets, Duke Ravengard?" He laughs an ugly, bitter laugh.
"The Council of Four? Don't be ridiculous, they never even looked down to see the low folk struggling. Those children, all those children would die if not for me. From the so-called justice, from an angry mob, from prison, from starvation. I found them, fed them, cared for them. I made them best of the best, the perfect murderers, the perfect shadows of the night. And who can hurt them now, when they're the worst things haunting Baldur's Gate? Who would dare to strike at them but their own? I made them strong."
The stunned, eerie silence falls over the camp.
Then Karlach raises her voice.
"What did you feed them with?"
"This is irrelevant."
"No, it's not."
"It was a good meat: not rotten, not touched by any diseases, I even cooked it-"
"I fed children the human flesh?!" Gale asks in horror.
"Of course you'd assume it was human," Nemo scoffs. "It was elven too, you know. Some dwarf meat, even halfling or tiefling there and there-"
"You did what?!"
"It was that or starving on the streets! And anyway, I was fed humanoid flesh my entire life and I turned out alright-"
Astarion scoots a little closer to Gortash.
"He did not turn out alright," the pale elf whispers, watching the argument rising to new, dangerous heights. "And you knew that, didn't you?"
"What Nemo eats flesh?" Gortash hums. "It wasn't a big secret."
"And what he feeds his...children the same?"
"It's a Cult of Murder," the man shrugs. "One expects some level of atrocities from it."
"That's not the answer."
"That's the one you'll get," Astarion watches Gortash watching Nemo, a small satisfies smile dancing on his lips. "I don't particularly care what he feeds his assassins, only what all of them seem to care very little for table manners."
"So I'm guessing you've met them?"
"Yes."
"...What are they like?"
"Why don't you ask their benefactor that and not the man who saw them once or twice?"
"Because their benefactor is currently in a screaming match with our companions," Astarion's shrugs. "Though he seems to be holding his ground just alright."
Gortash snorts.
"He used to lead fifty or so bloodthirsty murderers and made it look easy," another long, heavy look at Nemo. "He is good at handling people. Bhaal convinced Nemo the best thing a bhaalshapwn can be is a perfect blade, which is a shame, really. Nemo would do wonders in high court; he has enough charisma and intelligence to wrap the nobles around his fingers without them so much as noticing it.”
"It sounds like you admire him," Astarion comments, trying very hard not to feel slighted at that. Of course tyrant admires his nearest in dearest, it was to be expected. And anyway, doesn’t Nemo deserve to be admired?
But why does it sit so ill against his skin?
"Of course I admire him," the tyrant replies, not even looking away from the assassin. "He is brilliant. His part in our plans is not to be overlooked; everything came falling apart the moment Orin replaced him. Bhaal might have been content with a mad woman who could not control her urges, but our plan could not. She made a mess of things, ruined several of carefully constructed plans and hadn't even noticed. The amount of people I had to tadpole simply because Orin was acting unwise is-" he sighs. "Where Nemo would just waltz into the room, smile and bullshit his way through everything, Orin made things worse."
Astarion hums.
"I once saw Nemo convince an orthon to kill his minions, then his pet, then himself," he mentions. "So I can easily see him doing that."
"An orthon?" Gortash looks surprised. "Where in the Nine Hells did you find an orthon?"
"In a Gauntlet of Shar," Astarion shrugs. "He made an ill-fitted deal with Raphael and tried to get out of it. Nemo tricked him into false getaway."
Three's a long silence after that.
"Raphael," Gortash speaks slowly, as if tasting the words. "It's been a while since I've heard that name. How did you stumble into him?"
"More like he stumbled into us. He appeared from the thin air, laid heavy on those sweet talks of his and tried to talk Nemo into a deal. Probably still trying, all things considered. I am not sure what exactly he wants from Nemo, but he is insistent."
Gortash grows silent once more.
"I would advise against strikingly any deals with that particular devil," he comments after a pause. "Deals with him are even fouler than the deal with the devil would be expected to be. Raphael is clever; he is patient and knows how to play the game. Worst of all, he is at advantage of knowing Nemo while Nemo does not know him, and in the position where he is holding a grudge against the dear assassin of mine."
Astarion bites down the bitter taste of the way Gortash claims Nemo as his.
This can wait. His questions would not.
"Why would he hold a grudge against Nemo?"
Gortash actually laughs, a short lived and curt sound, but laugh none less.
"Because Nemo has done something Raphael failed to do. Raphael has been lusting after the Crown of Karsus for millennia, but was never able to relieve it from Mephistopheles' vault. Together Nemo and I successfully orchestrated and executed the plan what brought the crown into our hands."
So this is what Raphael wants.
"He is after the crown," Astarion comment. "And he thinks Nemo will be able to get it for him."
Gortash nods.
"And I can't express enough how this is absolutely a thing what cannot happen. Raphael is bad enough without a otherworldly power what is the Crown of Karsus in his claws."
"So," Astarion studies the man closely. "Better the crown in your hands then?"
Gortash smiles.
"Providing what we can get it off Elder Brain first and live," he comments. "But yes."
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godstrain · 11 months
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ok before i get to writing replies, i have to address the whole "wesker but supreme unhinge brain moments" thing that i sorta touched on earlier today?
so, we know that the t-virus really screws things up. basically zombifies them when the host isn't compatible, which is uhhh a lot (except 10% of people have natural immunity and no one knows why, i guess. is this 10% of the WORLD or of people in the USA or... ???? 10% of the world is actually a pretty big number?? anyway) and this can be seen especially in the ... whatsit, beastmaster's notes- the one that describes what the infection process was like, starting with coherent things and ending with tasty. itchy (horrifying! thanks i read it once and will not again for a while!) we also know the virus wesker was given is a modified strain of the t-virus. we later learn that while it resurrected wesker from death by the tyrant, it DIDN'T fully work, because he is relying on the PG67A/W- on top of that, wesker likely had natural immunity in general (i've addressed his immune system in another post)
he needs the PG67A/W to maintain the superhuman abilities he gained from the progenitor strain, but clearly, other shit must've been going on, too.
we know wesker hasn't aged a day since he infected himself. in the concept art for re1 it also says "wesker is surprisingly the same age as barry, 38" which implies wesker looks younger in general, which may be a side effect of whatever else was being put in his body thanks to the project w (fuck that shit, fuck spencer and also fuck the original wesker dude who was leading that project, i wish u a very fucking perish forever). so on the outside, he seems fine.
on the inside, not so much.
while never as drastic as the researchers who were infected and died at the mansion, wesker's brain suffers a similar decay- and then before he really loses all higher thought process, the virus revives the dead tissue. after infection with uroboros, the condition of his brain decay and revival was less severe, but still there. this is where he becomes erratic and rather immature- because parts of his brain are hecking dying. before uroboros, the symptoms would also affect his motor skills- the best comparison i have is unfortunately huntington's disease (i've worked with a patient with huntington's before and i am still devastated and saddened by what i saw), and the difference is wesker bounces back.
he's well aware of this, too, and it's terrifying for him. the episodes of these symptoms from the virus are short, but for the few days that they're there, it's awful (luckily[?] the longest period was four days, and the episodes are spaced out across many months, so it's like once every 4 months this shit goes down). they're his most volatile days and he also always feels like he wants to crawl out of his skin. he knows what's causing this. he did this to himself. post5, he also suddenly has vivid clarity and understanding of what it was like for everyone who was infected and died at the mansion and that sorta haunts him.
on a related note, wesker's strain of t-virus is only contagious via blood. and even then, since it seems to have been modified for him, any person infected would essentially have a rather unpleasant case of something resembling shingles- which will go away! you know, like shingles. although, neuropathy would be a common long term symptom, but otherwise it sucks but not as much as it COULD suck... he can only infect another person with uroboros if he actually attacks them WITH uroboros and most of that virus' power is spent regenerating his body from uhh being in a volcano lmao so i guess people are in the clear there? thanks for coming to my tedtalk
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sixstepsaway · 2 years
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(sorry for the length.) Slightly isolated from other components, we’ve been thinking about izzy and class lately. he’s obviously a very working class man, that’s kind of his whole thing, but there’s certainly an element of it that’s driving him and Edward apart too, not just in his hatred of stede. (1/?)
stede bonnet, sure he hates the man- for what he’s done to edward, whichever face you take it on, but Also for stede’s disdain and lack of respect for Izzy’s world on the whole, the way he sees it. stede breaks not just the toxic masculinity rules that get pointed out a lot, but the very real spoken and unspoken rules he simply doesn’t like, the ones that matter very much to Izzy’s world. (2/)
Don’t fight with other pirates, dont screw over anyone you can’t kill, don’t display your weakness, don’t blur the line between chain of command and friends, Respect that chain of command and respect ownership of places and the way that system works, - both with Jackie’s Bar and the taking of The Revenge- take care of your crew by hiring people who can take care of themselves, and penultimately, respect Death. (3)
it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say that izzy sees stede coming in, and not only badly affecting Edward but also spitting in the face of every rule that both keeps izzy alive and runs his world, disdainful of the class barrier he’s playing sandbox in. edward and stede are both playing, to some extent, desperately trying to ‘amuse’ themselves while izzy is trying to stay and keep alive and Earn that living. (4)
stede’s going to get his whole crew killed, the first time him and ed meet, and edward gets several of their own crew killed instead, so they can both keep playing, while izzy has Got to be registering the pattern that piracy was historically supposed to escape- we’re not dying for the ‘betters’ who don’t give a shit about us, fuck them we can rule ourselves- (5)
and then getting aboard the revenge where both captains are getting crew killed for their own whims once more, rather than the peoples chain of command and quite frankly, izzy didnt sign up for this shit, and certainly not to play gentry with stede bonnet. the show has talked about it a bit- oluwande and jim and stede, frenchies past, Edward and his mother. (6)
but the role specifically of, ‘ we carved Blackbeard from our own skins to make this into armor and Survive, and now not only does this guy turn his nose up at everything we do, but you both act like it was never necessary in the first place’- it’d have to be fucking infuriating. (7/7 thank you)
Nonnie, this looks long because you had to split it up for Tumblr, but I promise it is not as long as some of the asks I've received, and I am always happy to receive things like this!
Anyway, nonnie, my gods. You have absolutely nailed this. I always come back to that conversation Oluwande has with Stede too, the one where he explains that Stede might be having a grand time cosplaying pirate because he wants to, but he and Jim are doing it because neither of them have any other options, and it's easy to interpret from there (and from how they all are) that this goes for everyone else on the crew too, unless otherwise stated.
It makes sense that Izzy would be pissed off by Stede swanning in and making it all about him and making Ed feel like he has other options (does he? does he actually?)
I would also like to argue that Stede came in and changed Edward. I've already talked about how Ed very clearly masks, but more than that he hyperfixated on Stede to such an extent he no longer cared about keeping his own crew alive. He was so focused on meeting and impressing Stede that he sacrificed multiple crewmembers of his own ship with nothing more than a shrug and a, "Well, they're pirates, they signed up for this."
Like, no? They did not sign up to die to save Stede Bonnet, far from it, and frankly Izzy would see that side of it rather strongly too: none of them wanted to live or die for rich ponces who pushed them around, so they signed up to work with Blackbeard who uh had them die for a rich ponce--
The class dynamics between Izzy and Stede are so important to their conflict, ugh!!
Nonnie, this ask was excellent. Never apologize for its length.
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the-firebird69 · 11 months
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Watch "When The Whole Gym Watches You Lift…👀" on YouTube
He lifted almost and people were watching so we had to make sure it worked lifted it again all the way and it's Tommy F and he has a theory if he fails in front of people he has to try again and not fail. The other is he has to tell people and beat everybody and he's been doing it all his life just not telling you as many people in his mass media and huge armies are going against them and is counting on us to save the day or something. But you'll see who's going who's beating his defeating someone who is mentally handicapped and physically handicapped and doesn't have his faculty getting together and doesn't have support and he's doing it on purpose with a special number and it's an ugly business and that's what's going on. You wouldn't take much for him to defeat ken and he's planning on doing it rather soon says hes in the way all the time, when in fact Tommy f is a f**** and is jealous of Ken though our son is not gay and does not say anything like that or act that way in Ken's presence or not in Ken's presence or to him in any way or anyone for that matter but he's still jealous and he's doing it because of that now I'm tired of this animal dictating terms to us threatening a harassing us he's a whole Army that can take over the parallel and he's going to be dead shortly and we're going to protect Ken and Mac has thrown his hat in the ring too it's got to end somewhere and it's going to it's going to stop here and we see his face and it's ugly and who cares we're going after you you little s***
You shot at her son three times and you hit him and it bounced off now we're going to go after you to stop you from doing it I'm going to hit you and it's going into you just like it has every single time
Thor Freya
That's a lot of stuff and I don't believe you it goes against them but you say it does and you say an old lady can come around the corner and disable Clint Eastwood and start a war with a clan is small but we can the clan and they do things well I can come around the corner and drive right into you because of your system and part of your plan would be known to your clones I mean you're an airhead. He says that and I sort of get it it's chaos but it's not controlled and really I am doing that
Tommy f
And I guess you're out and the Max and others have met and your clones are going to have to deal with it
Zues Hera
I guess they did nobody has to say it everyday I guess today is different so everybody's mad it's ridiculous that I shot you three times and you can go down at all and you say you shouldn't shoot me at all and you're going to town because he did that no mostly now I'm starting to see how stupid it is. The math isn't there he's very valuable just sits there otherwise I guess I'm going to screw up I'm shooting him to kidnap him and he's in my place and it's very lame and everyone said it I'm going to get out of here
Tommy f
What a lame piece of s*** with Elaine piece of s*** ax I'm going to trace you down and take care of you Tommy f
Thor Freya
I've had enough of your blowing hard and blowing smoke and blowing wind and you just a huge airbag and you're ruining your plan and there's another one you ruining ours you just tell everybody just like Garth you're like this huge b**** unbelievable b**** and you're going to pay for it
Olympus
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hprse · 4 years
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Im trying to think of how to do this comic i want to do w those characters i redrew that meme as a while back
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deviltoys · 3 years
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— ‘𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗼𝘆.’
sakusa kiyoomi x top!male reader. (wc; 1.7k)
#a/n: lolol self-indulgent sakusa fic because i wanna breed him so bad. this is painfully horrible and short but hopefully enough to feed everyone for the time being!
warnings. NSFW CONTENT, MINORS DNI, blindfold, overstimulation, breeding k., frat!au, gangbang, dubcon turned con, belly bulge, cum inflation, no aftercare, manipulation, sex slavery, implied somnophila.
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joining the most prominent fraternity on campus was the last thing on his mind. sakusa struggled immensly when it came to social interaction, he even took extra precautions to avoid having to exchange any dialogue between peers. especially a bunch of guild boys who could barely keep their heads attached to their shoulders; but atsumu had somehow convinced him to give it a shot.
according to the miya twin, he needed to push past this boundaries and explore his comfort threshold a little more. the perfect place to do just that? a frat house. who's more loud and rowdy than a couple of douchebag adults trying to assert their alpha-ness by hosting a copious amount of house parties.
as much as he beseeched and argued against it, the frat scene had him hook, line and sinker. and soon, the unbearable pull of charming guys passing around pamphlets for recruitment day had caught up to him.
the hall of residence was a lot more alluring that media would lead on. he was pleasantly surprised by the cleanliness and charm of the home; the parade of shirtless guys crowding around the hobby room only added a sense of authenticity to the whole ordeal.
after he was plucked into the roster of other men trying their hand at slipping a way into the frat life of their dreams. the initiation was on the horizon, and sakusa’s overwhelming social anxiety from the day prior came flooding right back into his system. he had forgotten the most important rule about a brotherhood, proving your worth and loyalty to your new family.
the two paths you could choose to go down were no bed of roses— the first opportunity was to streak and sprint down the length of the campus yard. or a play special game, in which your fellow brothers would surprise you with.
no way in hell would he sacrifice his dignity by stripping down bare and humiliating himself in front of the entire university. his education was on the line, he had a reputation to uphold; the only option was to partake in whatever the sorority had waiting for him.
that's where you came in, merely handing the dark-haired male a piece of cloth to don around his eyes. the last thing he could recall about his surroundings was the eeriely warm yet sadistic expression you gave him— his vision melting into a blur of black when the blindfold made contact his skin.
“just find a place to sit on one of the couches, my brothers’ll be with you soon.” your tone was low and gravely, the remainder of his senses were heightened due to his loss of vision. his ears exploding with your voice and your voice only, he felt the flesh on his cheeks bleed from pink to red; praying you wouldn't notice his shift in attitude.
“ye- yeah.. okay, thanks.”
your footsteps faded into the backdrop, signalling him to begin his search for the couch. he'd rather die than have you watch him scramble around the room like a headless chicken. he stumbled around a little, as predicted— bumping into furniture here and there before his hips knocked into a pool table frequently used for beer pong.
his hands feel around the object in an attempt to slip past it, amongst all the chaos he's experiencing he's dimly aware of the presence of a group of people. the scuffling of shoes against the hardwood floors only solidify his suspicions, but before he's able to call out to you; or anyone. heavy pressure is placed atop his shoulder blades— the curve of hips lace into the divit of his ass until he's pressed against the table.
the silence drifting around the open space between your bodies isn't broken, nobody dare mumbles a sound. your broad palms slink up the underside of his shirt, keeping a painfully slow pace up his chest until your fingers pinch the first nipple they come in contact with. your free hand snakes around his hip and dips into the hem of his jeans before making it's way into the waistband of his boxers.
his body shudders desperately, thighs bucking forward as your fist pumps around the length of his twitching cock. by the time he can gasp out a flurry of winces, two fingers that weren't there previously, poke and prod around his rim. devilishly forcing his walls to mold around them and shape room for a few more.
both of your hands now find a home around his hips. your groin, which is positioned at his rear, ruts the outline of your erect bulge against his ass— plowing the multitude of fingers already planted inside of him, deeper. this only entails that the fingers now wrapped around his cock, teasing his chest, and sinking into the depths of his rectum all belong to a different set of people.
he once more unclamps his jaw to sputter out more nonsense, only moaning once the warm, wet agitation of lips suck a dark mark into the curve of his collarbone. he's overcome with bliss, marveling in the way each frat member simultaneously toys with his sensitive body.
an abundance of hands fumble with his zipper, unbuckling the leather around his waist— unlooping the material before tossing it aside. you shove his pants down past his calves, releasing your grip on him so that you're able to abandon your own set of clothes. there's more rustling of clothes and clinking of belt buckles and your hands return to him once more, binding his arms and shoulders while gently bending him onto the table.
bracing for impact, he's pleasantly astonished when his chin and shoulders sink into something soft and pillowy. you were kind enough to replace the hard surface beneath him with one of the sofa cushions, strengthening his trust in you.
with his body now calm and relaxed with aura around the six of you, you take a few moments to prepare your cock to breed your good little fuck toy.
hot breath teases the meek, male’s ear; your monstrous cock pressing into puckered hole only making the lewd torture of the situation worse.
“miya told us you'd like to become our little breeder sakusa, we've had our eye on you for awhile. is this true? do you want us to pump your little womb full of our children?”
atsumu? he was the one who had him in this position, such a trusted friend making him seem special enough to catch the attention of these compassionate boys? maybe he was born to be a slave for cock. atsumu wouldn't lie to him, would he?
oh poor kiyoomi, if only he saw right through that twisted facade.
you growl into the shell of his ear, he figures that you're the one who's bending over his back; threatening to breach his fertile hole. being the head of the frat, you got first dibs on all the fresh meat brought in, it's sad you'd have to share this one with your brothers.
there's nothing sakusa has to resist with, he whimpers out a few noises before you're rewarded with a barade of nods. a rise of chuckles and quiet exclamations from the group feed through his brain— apparently all of your peers are patiently waiting for their own couple of minutes with him. silent vulgarites phase past your teeth as you impatiently card a hand through his thick curls. plunging into the boy with one fluid motion, your cock vanishes from sight, disappearing inside of his stomach.
his ebony iris’ screw shut behind the blindfold. you can feel the way his womb parts just for your cock, the slimey g-spot of his is completely ignored as you push past it; the fat head of your cock mercilessly drilling into his belly. your cock is on full display, the layers of flesh seperating you from the outside world bend and jiggle around the outline of your shaft.
“i sure do hope you have enough room for all of our cum in there.” your thrusts don't falter, not daring to give his poor, ruined prostate a breather. “because we're not stopping until every single one of us has had a chance to knock you up!”
with those final words rolling off your tongue, your hips snapped long and harsh strokes into his twitching hole— cum bursting at the seams of your slit, balls tightening and enlarging as the pent up pleasure and lust readied the fat sacks for release. sakusa feels his tummy bloom with the first batch of warmth, sticky ropes of seed shoot right inside. perfectly filling him up in preparation for the next cock eager to breed his tight ass!
so wonderful, his womb feels so full and claimed! a bright and hot flush pools across his face; without warning the next cock sinks even deeper than the last. more of the groups genes passing through him, mating the frat’s new bitch over and over again. he's hit by a wave of orgasms after the second brother slams himself nice and deep, pumping his seed inside him once more. his asshole greedily opening and closing to filter as much thick cum as humanly possible into his intestines. before he's able to come to his senses, he's already chubby with semen; happily inviting the next member to come and breed his stupid body.
the entire night is flooded with sounds of hiccuping, skin on skin contact, and the leaking of cum being deposited right back into sakusa. the incredible feeling of his frat brothers groping and touching him up have him cumming time after time— all night he's shuddering as another orgasm passes through his frame.
once he's positively gushing with cum and reduced to nothing but an overstimulated puddle of arousal— you scoop up his limp, bloated body, collecting the rest of your buddies before carrying him to his very own dorm. labeling his room, the ‘breeding room’. the sorority didn't let him waste a dime of time rejuvenating his body with sleep. they didn't want their new play thing to go to waste; he was awoken multiple times during the wee hours of the night. cock fitted tightly between his lavish cheeks.
he was certainly going to love it here, nothing but a obedient puppet.
622 notes · View notes
Tf2 headcanons? Aw yeah! So let's say a new merc joins the team. They're a total asshole: Cocky, sarcastic, overconfident, refuse help. But both Spy and Scout see right through that, it's a defense mechanism. How do they go about making this person comfortable enough to not be an asshole?
*chanting* HURT COMFORT HURT COMFORT HURT COMFORT HURT COMFORT HURT COMFORT HURT COMF
Okay, jokes aside, this is one of my favorite tropes. Maybe I’m too naïve to believe that some people are just mean to be mean, or maybe it’s a sort of comfort to know that even the worst people can be understood, but either way, WOOOOOOOOO!
*****************
An Ass For An Ass
Headcanons
Scout:
To be honest, Scout’s threshold for asshole-ery is pretty high. Growing up with eight brothers will do that to you.
But when the new recruit came around, something immediately rubbed him the wrong way.
Recruit always stole his thunder with the crass jokes and over-the-top displays. Every battle turned into a competition, which messed with Scout’s system of fighting. He never had to focus much on his own team before, and now he had to worry about keeping his own reputation upheld while trying not to get stabbed, shot, or blown up.
Recruit also kept hitting on Miss Pauling - even after reminding them again and again that she was lesbian, and was not and never will be into dudes.
“Come on…you just haven’t been with a real man yet…”
“No, no, I’ve been with a lot of men. Real men. I just wasn’t into any of them. After a while, it was kind of obvious.”
But what really pissed a lot of people off was Recruit’s fighting style.
They were an absolute monster on the field - that’s why they were chosen - but every interaction was treated as some sort of survival scenario.
One would think that would be a good thing, but Recruit was ridiculous.
No matter what the situation was, he was fine, he was okay, he could take it, he could fix it.
He could be killed only inches away from a Medic because he would never yell for one. Sometimes Recruit would even show visible anger at being healed. It got to the point where Medic didn’t heal him at all, and just allowed him to die as to not waste time he could give too more grateful patients.
Missions were even worse.
He followed orders to a T, but Pauling had to beg him to leave a failed mission, or to leave without completely destroying the site.
Everyone just took it as Recruit showing off, or having something to prove as a rookie.
It was annoying, but ultimately harmless in most circumstances.
However, it all came to a head when Recruit tried disengage a sentry by himself and was severely injured.
Both Engineer and Medic, who had had to fix most of Recruit’s past and current recklessness, ripped him a new one, one chewing out after the other.
“What we’re you thinkin’, son?! One crossed wire and you woulda blown the whole base!”
“Zhe only reason you are allowed in my lab at all is because it’s in my contract. Personally, I vould have rather left nature to it…”
Since then, Recruit did exactly as he was told, and nothing else. And most of the team liked it that way.
But Scout recognized some warning signs immediately. Fatigue, near silence except for missions, self-isolation, snapping when people got too close…it all paved the way for a pretty nasty (and, for Scout, very familiar) result.
One night, Recruit was sitting on the balcony, and Scout came out with two bottles - a beer for Recruit and a root beer for himself.
(Scout can only drink on the weekends because one, unlike most, he can’t go to work hung over because his job requires a lot of movement, and two, he has no restraint and can’t stop once he starts.)
“What do you want?”
Scout shrugged. “Depends.”
“On what?!”
“What are ya willin’ to tell me?”
Recruit just looked at the beer and sneered.
“Can’t we just skip this?” Scout said. “Maybe get to the part where you tell me what kinda Sally Sob Story we’re dealin’ with here?”
Recruit looked away.
“Aw, c’mon, don’t tell me you don’t got one. ‘Cause you do. I can see it a mile away. So what happened? Pop leave? Somebody died? Lotta brothers and sisters? Ma had a few too many and smacked ya around?”
Recruit didn’t turn around, but Scout could tell he was crying. He had hit a sore spot. Hard.
“Hey, pal, listen…”
Scout trailed off, then slowly began again.
“…the only reason I know is ‘cause I’ve been through it, ‘kay? Outta everybody I knew, I only trusted me. And that was great when I did a good job, ‘cause I knew I put me there.”
Scout opened his bottle of root beer and took a long swig.
“But when I screwed somethin’ up, it’s like everybody I ever knew just let me down. The one thing I could count on was gone.”
Recruit looked at Scout with tears in his eyes.
“But ya can’t do everything by yourself,” Scout continued. “Believe me. I learned that the hard way.”
Scout laughed, but it was mostly to clear the air. He didn’t get serious very often.
Recruit hadn’t touched his beer, but was leaned over the balcony with his head in his hands.
Scout sighed and looked up at the stars.
“But here’s somethin’ that nobody told me - it gets easier, y’know that? You just gotta relax and cut yourself some slack.”
Recruit shifted uncomfortably. “But the Administrator said…”
“Yeah yeah yeah, I know what she said. Gave ya that whole speech about how bein’ part of the team means discipline and focus and whatever. It’s all bull crap. She don’t know the first thing about bein’ on the field. If she did, why’d she hire us?”
“Sh-she said my perseverance was an asset to the team.”
“Perseverance, my ass. You know what would be an asset to the team? Stayin’ alive for more than fifteen minutes!”
Recruit looked at his feet. He had blinked away his tears, but he still looked on the verge of falling apart.
Scout put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it a little.
“You’re a great fighter, Recruit. You’re one of the best…that’s why you’re here. You got nothin’ to prove to nobody. Not to me, not to the team, not to the Administrator…not even to yourself. You’ve made it, kid. You’ve made it.”
Scout slid his hand off Recruit and started to walk away.
“Hey.”
Scout turned to see Recruit in the process of opening his beer.
“Thanks.”
Scout smiled. “No problem, pal. Plenty more under Demo’s mattress.”
“No, I mean…for that. I needed that tonight.”
“Oh…yeah! Sure. Don’t worry about it.”
Scout went back inside and to his room - but not before checking the cameras on the balcony a few times. Just in case.
Over the next few months, Scout kept helping Recruit break some old bad habits.
Recruit learned to take criticism without getting angry, to leave tanked missions, and to take care of himself.
He still occasionally flirted with Miss Pauling, but it was now more of an inside joke than anything.
Recruit still isn’t perfect - he still cringes a little when he’s healed, and falls back into survival mode when times are stressful - but he is now a much happier, much healthier person.
Spy:
Spy’s asshole wasn’t a merc, per se.
They were more of an informant, usually giving out important facts about locations, missions, and a target’s history.
Sometimes they would even use the Administrator’s PA system to announce new rules and reminders.
This would be perfectly fine - after all, you get kind of tired of hearing the Administrator all the time - except for the fact that Informant was the most sarcastic, most nasally, most apathetic, most matter-of-fact person on earth.
Even outside of a work setting, which was rare because they stayed in their office most of the time, Informant would go out of their way to be as condescending as possible.
Especially to whoever they considered to be in the “less intelligent” category: Heavy, Pyro, Scout, Demo, and Soldier.
To all the “others,” he turned every briefing into a contest to see who knew more at any given time…which, of course, usually meant he won.
“Now, does anyone know where his address is? Come on, any takers? Yeah, I thought so.”
Unlike Recruit, which would only warrant a few grumbles here and there from the team, Informant was the subject of a lot of hissed complaints and terrible rants from even the calmest of members.
Informant was the only one who could get under Heavy’s skin - a personal pet peeve of his was being considered less intelligent or less of a human being because English wasn’t his first language, which Informant chose to remind him of constantly.
It began with a few simple jabs at his grammar or word structure, but once Informant figured out that Heavy wouldn’t hurt a fly outside of battle, the taunts grew more and more daring.
Heavy would usually ignore Informant, which would only exacerbate their need to be noticed. This led to some pretty nasty interactions - from spouting the statistics of Russia’s average intelligence to even saying Heavy was a disgrace to his country by being a literature major.
“How’s that Russian literature major treating you? You know - in America.”
Sniper and Medic had tried to set Informant straight, but Heavy refused to accept any help. This was something that was his to bear, and his alone. He knew that they both took their own helping of harassment.
But one day, Informant went a little to far.
He did the one thing you should never do: insult Heavy’s family.
“You mother and sisters can’t do anything more than wait for you. No wonder you’re the only source of income.”
Before he knew it, Informant was against a wall, struggling to breathe, blood running into his eyes.
Heavy walked away after the incident, and told Medic about it, but he refused to heal him. Informant had called Medic a Nazi on more than one occasion.
This, finally, is where Spy comes in.
Spy was walking by Informant’s office, when he heard a strange sound - barely suppressed hiccups and sobs.
Despite his aversion to displays of emotion, the promise of seeing one of his greatest enemies as their lowest was too amusing to resist.
He knocked lightly on the door, then slowly opened it - always the master of drama.
Informant was under their desk, bloodied and bruised, sobbing into their knees.
Spy entered noiselessly, sitting in Informant’s office chair and lighting a cigarette.
It was only when Spy made a dramatic exhale of the smoke that Informant looked up, tears streaking their face.
They stared at each other for a moment, and then Spy finally spoke.
“Oh, how the mighty fall. Flown too close to the sun, have we?”
Informant couldn’t do much more than snivel and retreat farther below the desk.
“Who did it?” Spy asked. “I want to give them my regards…and maybe a bottle of wine.”
“H-Heavy…”
“Oh? Well, if anyone can bring him to blows, it’s you.”
Spy put his feet on the desk and continued to blow smoke out of his nose, thinking.
“It’s strange,” he said. “Most offices have at least a few pictures of family. A trip to the beach, perhaps the zoo…?”
He took a quick glance around.
“No children. No army mates. No graduation photos or a large catch at a local lake. The only personal item you have is this…”
Spy picked up a Rubik’s Cube. The plastic still around it crinkled.
“Unused.”
Informant looked at the floor.
“I like to keep my personal and professional life separate.”
Spy pursed his lips and squinted.
“How noble of you. But I don’t think that’s the case. You know what I think, Informant?”
Spy took his feet of the desk and bent down, looking Informant in the eyes.
“I don’t think you have a life.”
Informant’s eyes went wide for a moment, then his face immediately crumpled. Bullseye.
Spy smirked and got up from the chair, starting to leave.
Informant’s sniffling turned into sobbing, and before Spy could put his hand on the doorknob, muffled wailing filled the office.
Spy closed his eyes and clenched his teeth. He was trying not to remember something. But the imagery was too strong.
He remembered hiding under a table, like Informant was. People screaming and cursing at each other in French. His knees all scarred and his nose runny from a cold that should have resolved weeks ago. Waltz music coming from next door, trying to drown out the fighting. Glass breaking. Biting his knuckles so he wouldn’t whimper or cry.
Spy’s hand closed into fist. He took a deep breath, and turned to face Informant again.
“But to be fair…”
He walked towards the desk, putting his hand in his suit pocket. He got on his knees and pulled out a pink handkerchief.
“…I don’t have one either.”
He offered the handkerchief to Informant, who put it to his face, still staring at Spy through red eyes.
The pair were silent for a moment, with Spy putting out his cigarette and lighting a new one while Informant cleaned themselves up.
“But the difference between you and I,” Spy said, his voice wavering a bit, “is that I am a Spy. If my information got into the wrong hands, it could be the end of me and my team.”
He tapped his cigarette on a nearby trash can, letting the ashes fall into it.
“But what are you hiding from?”
Informant took a shaky inhale, the handkerchief still covering his nose and mouth.
“W-what?”
“Why do you feel the need to be, as Scout puts it, a tier five jerkazoid?”
Informant sniffled. “I…I didn’t think I took it that far.”
“Took what that far?”
“I just…snrk…I thought that’s what I had to do to get them to take me seriously.”
Informant laughed, but their heart wasn’t in it.
“I’m five foot four with red hair and freckles. I look more like someone’s Andy doll than a contract killer. I thought maybe if I knew everything…I’d be worth it.”
They shrugged.
“At best, they’d be impressed. At worst, they would never get close enough to me to know the truth: the only reason why I’m here is because I can rattle off a few names and that I had good grades in school because I had nothing better to do.”
Spy’s chest ached. He didn’t know why, but it was a strange feeling to him.
“Mon ami…”
He cleared his throat.
“If half of the team is any indication, you don’t need to be Nikola Tesla to be hired. Hell, the fact you can read is an anomaly in itself. But there is something you must understand…”
Spy cleared his throat again. His voice had gotten quite unstable all of a sudden.
“Intelligence is measured in different ways. Scout could never read even the simplest of children’s books, but his physical intelligence - reflexes, spatial awareness, aim - is phenomenal. Medic would have to put my spine back together if I even attempted to do what he does on the field.”
Informant snickered at the joke, or perhaps the image it conjured.
“And me,” Spy continued. “I can speak almost any language, adjust to any social setting, charm anyone, fool anyone…kill anyone. Just like you, I can remember, and I use the information I absorb mostly to show how superior I am to all my lowly colleagues.”
Spy furrowed his brow and looked away.
“But I know less about myself than even my enemies. I have hidden it so deep within my mind that I can hardly remember…or perhaps would rather not remember…who I was before this mask of mine.”
Informant hesitated. “I…I’m sorry, Spy.”
Spy sneered and puffed a few smoke rings.
“I don’t want your sympathy. I want you to have some self-respect - and respect for my teammates. Because next time you are beaten within an inch of your life, you might catch me in a less generous mood.”
With that, Spy got up, reached into his suit pocket and presented a small MediKit, which he tossed to Informant.
“I’d suggest freshening up before going to any more briefings.”
Informant nodded, and set to work healing himself.
Spy started to leave, then stuck his head back in.
“And hang a few posters, would you? Your office looks like a prison cell.”
Finally, the Frenchman took his leave, adjusting his suit and nodding solemnly to the team members he happened to pass - or scowling at them, depending.
He glanced over the security feed, and once he was satisfied, made his way to his smoking room.
Spy closed the heavy oak door, poured himself a small glass of scotch, and sat down in his chair next to the fireplace.
He put a magazine on his knee and began to flip through the pages, but his gaze soon started to wander.
He closed the magazine, tossed it into the fire, leaned into his hand, and wept.
…So what became of Informant?
Well, after a reluctant heal from Medic and a few well-deserved apologies, Informant began to try and break the cycle of self-sabotage.
The process took a lot longer than Recruit’s did - especially since Informant’s transgressions were a lot more egregious - but, little by little, they began to heal.
A lot of the time, the other mercs would have to tell them to tone it down a bit, or to cut him off completely if necessary.
Informant still almost has a panic attack if he doesn’t have the right papers, and his office is still pretty bare, but he took Spy’s advice - a few AC/DC posters hang on the leftmost wall.
As for Spy, well…he needs to have a talk with Medic.
******************
I am so sorry…this is all so messy and weird. One is so much longer than the other, and I’m not even sure half the dialogue sounds right.
The two headcanons were just typed out at different times, the first where I had less motivation and the second when I had more motivation. This wasn’t on purpose, it just happened.
I hope you still like it, though!
77 notes · View notes
emonaculate · 3 years
Text
AOT Freshman v Senior Year headcanons (Eren, Armin, and Mikasa)
❥ AU: Highschool!AU
❥ Genre: Fluff
❥ Rating: Everyone can read
❥ Pairing: hinted at Eren x reader
❥ Warnings Include: Profanity, mentions of violence, manipulation, mention of weed, and slight angst
❥ Author Note: I'm making this an entire series for the main cast or my favorite characters from AOT
Eren Yeager
Freshman year
Extremely fucking loud for no reason
Runs to class and somehow always manages to be late
Tries to pay attention in class but due to his ADHD would always spaces tf out
Despite being loud, only talks to Mikasa and Armin
Smells like nothing but AXE body spray, its not even a bad smell, its just too much
That kid that takes P.E. TOO fucking serious
"Eren you know why you're in trouble right?"
"No."
"...You hit your classmate in the face with a ball."
"He could have dodged."
"Eren it was a basketball, you broke his nose and chipped his tooth."
"He shouldn't have gotten so close to me."
Im sorry but totally dresses like this
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Constantly compared to his older brother.
"Yeager... Are you by any chance related to Zeke Yeager?"
"No way, your brother is THE Zeke Yeager?"
Makes a name for himself rather quickly
Listens to heavy rock/metal music
He loves My Chemical Romance and Three Day Grace.
Learned how to play the guitar just so he could play "Teenagers"
Forced Mikasa and Armin to also listen to the bands
They ended up all deciding on making a small little garage band; Miki on vocals and drums, Min on bass, and Eren as lead vocalist and electric guitar.
His style changed randomly but no one questioned it since his personality remained the same.
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Senior year
180 personality
Completely mellowed tf out
Either he is in class on time or not showing up at all
Senioritis is strong within him
Works better when he is completely out of it
STONER
This mf always high as shit
Either you love him, hate him, or respect him there is no inbetween
MANBUN
Smart as hell but usually on the low
His music taste has changed a little
LOVES POLITICAL RAP
J.cole and Kendrick stan; it is not up for debate
His favorite songs are Neighbors by J.Cole and Alright by Kendrick
Listens to throwback RnB when high
Still godly at the guitar
Has a couple stick and poke tattoos; He has one behind his ear matching Min and Miki.
He has the sun, Armin has the ocean waves, Mikasa has the moon
PIERCINGS
A total of 8; 4 in his left and 2 in his right + the industrial
Has a tongue piercing
A two slices in his eyebrow but only got them as a dare
Most of them minus the industrial piercing was done at home because he has an abnormally high pain tolerance.
Dresses like this
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Doesnt really play sports but is super good at soccer and basketball
He's actually good at most sports just refuses to join because why would he want to support a corrupted system??
Still more of a loner but has a rather nice friend group
Looks mean asf but is actually really nice
Goes the hardest for his friends
You fuck with them = you getting your shit rocked by him
100% the friend that hits you for forgetting to eat
Despite being hot as shit; never really has a girlfriend
Its only because hes oblivious or just not interested
Deathly scary when hes pissed
If you guys got beef; there is no talking
Its on sight bro
Be prepared to get beat the fuck up
A few things that makes him go from 0 to 100 is racism, mocking disabled people, and domestic violence
He's an activist
If you need help organizing a protest; he'll help and somehow manage to get people to come.
Basically a really good guy just hot headed as hell
Armin Arlert
Freshman Year
The kid who looked up those lame videos on how to survive highschool.
Panicked when it came to speaking in class
Stuttered like hell
AP CLASSES
He's way too advanced like could graduate early but refuses to so he can stay with his friends
Super sweet but extremely naive
People definitely took advantage of him.
"Hey Armin, my dog got in a car accident so I wasnt really focused in class, can you give me the homework answers?"
"Yeah sure its no problem."
Sends them a whole ass powerpoint on the entire lesson and teaches them better than the actual teacher.
Band nerd
Can play the Piano, Bass, and Trumpet
Listens to Mother Mother and Queen religiously
Only joined Eren's garage band after he agreed to watch Bohemian Rhapsody
Dresses like this
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Moved in with Ren and Miki after he went through some shit with his family; he came out as bisexual after realizing he was attracted to one of his classmates.
Sometimes worries that Eren gets uncomfortable but relaxes after he remembers who Eren really is.
Wouldn't trade his friends for the world
Senior Year
His glow up took awhile because he didnt really feel the need to change
He was always rather cute; just shy and timid
VALEDICTORIAN
Slightly because he manipulated his runner up into become a burnout gifted kid lmao
Everyone has his Snapchat and Instagram so they can get help
Now he knows when people are using him and he still lets them; the only difference is you fuck with him and he can make you end up repeating the same grade.
Lets people copy his test and at the last minute pauses and erases all his answers before putting the correct ones.
No one has realized his plan.
His fashion sense changed a lot
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Subconsciously tries to match Eren all the time
The only person that noticed was Mikasa; she thinks its cute
Is in love with Russian foreign exchange student, Annie.
He talks to her from time to time before gathering enough courage to ask her out
Doesnt realize how popular he is.
Oftentimes volunteers at the aquarium to study the ocean life as well as help out.
Helps plenty of organizations clean up the ocean.
A total of four piercings and the tattoo that matches his friends.
Two in his ears and nipple piercings.
It was a dare he sobbed through
Mikasa Ackerman
Freshman year
Basketcase
Follows Eren and Armin around
Super quiet
Doesn't really have much of a personality
She is cute though
Dresses like this
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Like I said no real personality at all
Well except she was the girl who thought she was in a romance novel
Especially when Eren would get into a fight.
"Eren look at me... This isnt you."
"Mikasa move."
Most times it wouldnt work.
It was just cringy man...
Can play the violin, flute, piano, and cello
Only learned the drums so she could play with Eren and Armin
A secret pop stan
Loves Ariana Grande and Doja Cat
Thank god she manages to grow out of that yucky phase.
Senior Year
GOTH GF
Track, Gymnast, and female basketball player
She mellowed out as well and became her own person
Still heavily in love with Eren
Confessed to him during a karaoke session to the song Baby I by Ariana Grande; he didnt realize.
Sang her heart out and was a blushing mess but still got no where
Has deep down accepted that she may never be more than just his friend
Is okay with it and NOT toxic when he's crushing on someone else
Just wants him to be happy
Saw how he looked at some girl during a fundraiser to raise money for animal shelters and realized that he may never look at her like that.
Turned a guy down because Armin had a crush on him
The ultimate wing girl
Introduced Eren to her opponent after a track meet after realizing it was the girl from the fundraiser.
Dresses like this
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Super sweet despite her look
However pick on her friends and you're fucked
CAN and WILL whoop your ass
The only person who can get Eren to not fight.
Pissed them both off at the same time and you're screwed
Has a total of three piercings
Her ears and nose
Loves her boys more than anything
Stays with Eren while her parents travel to help with natural disasters
Noticed that Armin's ideal type is Eren but never mentioned it because she knows Armin would overract
Very observant
Just wants the best for her friends even if she is the one who ends up happy
Eventually falls for the guy that asked her out junior year.
Still close to her boys because they come before anyone.
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ktheist · 3 years
Text
02 — show me yours & i’ll show you mine | m
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➙ muses. seokjin x college student / gamer!reader ft. best friend! taehyung
➙ genre. best friend’s brother au. university au. working au. fwb au.
➙ word. 1.9k
➙ warnings. explicit content. oral (f receiving).
➙ index. 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05  | 06 | finale | side story 1 |
➙ synopsis. 
“can we have morning sex?”
“not today.”
x
“is that my brother’s shirt?” is the first thing kim taehyung says to you after a whole night of you declaring war against him for choosing his girlfriend over you.
your body clock’s designed in a way where no matter how late you go to sleep, you’ll always wake up at 8 in the morning. the question of whether you can go back to bed or not varies. like right now, when your stomach is grumbling because it’s decided to deem that the spicy carbonara ramen you had has lost its sustaining-abilities.
“uh, is that a woman-choosing, best friend-abandoning human i see?” you say, eyes squinted at said human.
“whatever,” that seems to have taken taehyung’s interest off the creme colored sweater hanging off your shoulders and way past your butt. you could’ve not word shorts when you went out to get yourself a bowl of cereal. mainly because the brothers have a similar habit of sleeping in until the sun’s shining directly into their faces and they’d have no choice but to wake up - that is, in the event that they forgot to shut the blinds.
“what are you doing up anyway?” you ask but it’s a no-brainer because every friday night, kim taehyung and you would never fail to release a week’s worth of pent up frustrations over playing video games until the crack of dawn, “don’t tell me you haven’t slept.”
“unlike some people, i’ve got things to do,” he steals away the bowl of cereal you just finished preparing for yourself, “places to be.”
you can’t even get mad at his brazenness, not when those eyebags make him look like he’ll pass out with one swing of your punch. and you do punch like a girl - besides the fact that you are one, it’s already a settled fact that you’re really not fond of the idea of wasting your energy on something pointless - so you tend to give the least amount of energy for, for instance - if you do choose to - punching kim taehyung who’s walking away with your bowl of cereal.
so you fix yourself a new bowl, savoring it while watching an episode of the tale of nine-tailed and spending the entire morning catching up to the latest episode. it’s only until half an hour past noon, do you strut back into seokjin’s room, noticing the lump under the sheets now shifting with a sign of wakefulness.
“morning!” you greet, hearing the sound of hymns trickling into chuckles as seokjin pushes the sheet off his face and steals a glance at the uncalled for being that’s perched on top of him.
“you’re up early,” he remarks, arms stretched over his head, muscles flexing deliciously.
“can we have morning sex?” you put on your best smile, lashes fluttering in what you hope to be a coquettish manner rather than someone who looks like they have dust in both their eyes.
“not today,” he says but his large hand latches on your right breast, massaging with a expertise before pinching on your nipple and making you jump in surprise.
“ah!”
but before you get to complain, he’s pulling you down and engulfing you into a warm but shirtless hug (on his part at least).
“not fair,” you pout but snuggle closer anyway, forehead leaning against his chest.
but it’s short-lived because thunderous footsteps start echoing in the hallway and sounding dangerously close with each passing second. for a split second, you watch seokjin watch you, panic spreading across his face before your hands instinctively push him away. then the panic dissolves into alarm as he calls your name, accompanied by another timber-like voice that’s shouting out the same syllables.
“___!”
and then your butt hits the ground, then your back and your head at the same time.
“whew chile, that sounds painful, you okay?” taehyung sounds concern, but he doesn’t take any step towards you to further assert your head - you could’ve had a concussion for all he knows!
“um, gee thanks for making sure,” you want to roll your eyes, but you’re too busy rubbing the spot where your head made contact with the floor.
but seokjin, ever the thoughtful person, is already climing over the bed and pulling you up with one heave.
“why are you shirtless?” taehyung suddenly inquires.
 the cozy creme sweater clinging onto your body feeling immensely inadequate as you ice up. he looks between you and his brother, screws twisting in that head of his before he asks another question.
“is that really my brother’s shirt?” his eyes scream concluded assumption.
well, it’s true, but-
“would you give me your sweater if i said i was cold?” you don’t give him a chance to respond, “no. right. so shut up. what do you want anyway? hurry up cause i wanna take a nap.”
“let’s play, the squad wanna go one more round with you before we all go to sleep,” he says, the matter of why seokjin is shirtless or if it’s really said man’s shirt you’re wearing now no longer a matter of importance.
you like how his brain works.
“the fuck? you came all the way here just for that?” you narrow your eyes, as if visually asking him if he knows whether he’s making sense or not but you get up anyway, walking towards your laptop that’s perched on the desk where you left it last night.
your friends greet you with less enthusiasm than they did last night - everyone sounded like they either need sleep or need a fuck. there’s no clear answer to what they need but you guess you’re up for one game.
“alright losers, let’s geddit.” your cheer is met with groans and tired version of ‘wooo’s and ‘yeah’s.
five minutes into the game, you feel a peck on your cheek and a smiling kim seokjin gazing down at you with bed hair and puffy cheeks. the smile you offer him back is fleeting because you have a character to maintain and a team to support. this time, you choose the supporting role while hoseok takes on the fighter role.
once you realize that the figure casting a shadow over you remains still and unmoving, you peek up at him for the briefest seconds to ask ‘what?’.
you’re only met with a higher tug of his lips.
and then he falls down on his knee - and you don’t even have the chance to wrap your head around it when he grabs hold of your ankle and spread your legs apart. lifting your ass up as he pulls down your shorts seem to be a muscle response than your brain actually understanding what’s happening. but by the time it does, seokjin’s face is already buried deep between your thighs.
“wah- yikes!” you manage to divert your surprise to the enemy that came on screen, forcing out a laugh, “th-that was a close one, whew i was about to die.”
“the fuck? you already had 8 hours of sleep what are you messing up for?” taehyung says into your headphone.
seokjin licking a strip up your love nub.
but that doesn’t stop you from retorting, “oh my god, did i tell you to play all night and not sl- sleep?” you bite back, barely managing to end your sentence with a consistent amount of sarcasm when the tip of seokjin’s tongue slips into your entrance.
“okay, okay, we’re all a little sensitive here,” jeongguk, the most competitive and non-losing-accepting out of the five of you actually tries to placate.
oh, you’re sensitive alright.
then he says something about how “we’re a team” and “if you wanna fight, fight the enemy team.” or something. you’re not so sure because you’re too busy clasping your hand against your mouth whilst trying to dish out healing powers to your team that’s fighting a few feet in front of you as seokjin tugs on your thighs, positioning them in an angle where his tongue can reach deeper inside you, so much so that your ass is almost hanging off the air.
“fine,” you almost choke on your supposedly vindictive reply as your toes begin to curl, back arching as the only sound that manages to escape you is a sob-like whimper whilst sparks erupt from the depth of your stomach and course through your veins like sweet, sweet poison.
seokjin kisses the inside of your thigh once your breathing slows down and you’re slumping on the chair like you have no energy left in you. jimin’s voice demanding you to cover for him barely registering in your brain as you click an ability that showers him with a protection spell.
“sorry, got distracted,” you say into the mic simply before hearing jimin’s “it’s okay, nobody died.”
literally.
if anyone of you died, it would’ve definitely been on you. last night, you got away with saying you weren’t in your ‘zone’ but today, your underperformance will be the reason you get kicked out of the squad for good. probably.
and because you’re under fire, you can’t stop seokjin when he slips away and out of the room, leaving you to make up for your mini blunder.
the game lasts a good 20 minutes before the golden symbol of victory flash across your screen and more energetic sheers erupt in your headphones. everyone starts bidding each other farewell and ‘good night losers’s before the headphones go quiet.
only then, do you bound down the hallway and into the kitchen where you know the reason of the sizzling, salivating scent is because of kim seokjin. a still shirtless kim seokjin with his beautiful, broad back on you as he chops something on the chopping board and gracefully pours it into whatever he’s cooking.
“that wasn’t fair - you should at least give me a warning,” you stand with your arms crossed over your chest.
“did the enemy you go against give you a warning before ambushing you?” he asks in a matter of factly, teasing smirk on his lips that makes your heart go flip flop.
he’s never smiled at you like that before.
“that’s- that’s different,” you refuse to back down, “they couldn’t even if they wanted to because the system doesn’t let us communicate with the enemy team.”
he nods whilst stirring the - you’d peeked - fried rice that’s sizzling in the pan, “i did give you a warning.”
“um where?” you can fee your eyebrows knitting together.
“the kiss,” he taps his cheek twice before shutting off the stove, devious smirk playing on his lips.
“i thought that was a bona fide peck!” 
“that’s on you,” he shrugs, pouring the fried rice into four plates, “like namjoon says - never assume.”
“okay, maybe he did say that,” you concur, taking a seat across from him where he places the plate and offers you a fork and a spoon that he took out from their respective drawers under the counter.
“something smells good,” taehyung comes popping out from the hallway, bowl of empty cereal in hand as his eyes light up at the sight of the two other plates placed between you and seokjin, almost as if knowing that the only other thing that coud summon the kim brothers out from their dwelling is seokjin’s cooking.
“i’m starving,” namjoon announces, seconds apart from taehyung’s assertion.
so you have breakfast - or lunch, really - together like you would. just four kids from the same hometown who found home in each other’s presence.
you might’ve found something else that you like in seokjin’s pants - but that’s besides the point.
x
note. and here we go for the 2nd installment! hope yall enjoyed!
taglist. @scalubera​ @aretha170​
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symphonic-scream · 3 years
Text
Oh hey I've got more
Differences in the Jocks Kwami Swap AU
More from season 2!
Troublemaker
The moment has finally arrived
Really at the start not much is different, Penny is having trouble controlling everything that's happening around her, but I'm thinking I might swap what they have Jagged do-
I don't know for sure yet but I'm considering my options. Either way Penny gets pushed to the limit and gets akumatized
Chartreux and Crimson are fighting her as they normally would, while Kitsune is having a whole ass crisis cause her plans aren't working
She kinda collapses on a roof, watching the other two heroes do their thing all chaotic and remembers her motto, the advice she received and follows religiously;
"Life your life with no regrets"
And she starts to realize that the duo make tons of mistakes and never seem to get down on themselves despite how much they should regret their decisions
Kitsune realizes that she's been thinking about the advice the wrong way. It doesn't mean to do everything without flaw the first time, but to have fun and live in the moment, have fun and enjoying life for what it is
So she goes feral
Jocks style
Joins the fight and just follows the flow and in the end the new Jocks Trio are victorious
However, Fu isn't so pleased. He can't take back the miraculouses, but he has to stop this mess before it gets worse
So he and Wayzz go for a walk, and are saved by a certain classmate, who gets invited back for tea
Gigantitan
Ugh the baby
Episode starts with Max learning about the miraculous and Fu and stuff from Fu, who hands him the turtle and asks him to become the leader the team needs
Max isn't sure about the idea at first, because if he can't even keep Kim and Alix out of danger, how can he protect his fellow heroes?
He gets a pep talk and agrees
Meanwhile the class has gathered to scheme a way to get Adrien out of his schedule to hang out with them. They were all assigned secret roles and invited by a "mysterious mastermind"
It's just Kagami
Newly living her life her way, she comes up with something so ridiculous it might just work
Only it doesn't and the Gorilla is about to be akumatized but instead it's the baby
The trio transform to fight it only to receive messages on their devices from a "Shell Shock", which they promptly ignore
When the Turtle Hero does show up, he saves their asses and pulls them aside to tell them the plan and of course none of them are too pleased
However they go with it and they win. Shell Shock explains that he was chosen to be the team leader and the corespondent between them and the "Guardian" and tells Kitsune that he will message her through the magic system thing for when she's needed. Otherwise she is to stay away from the fight
Yeah she's not happy
Episode ends with Adrien joining the class for some hangout at the park after his next shoot was cancelled due to the akuma attack
Riposte
The day has finally arrived for Kagami to try out for the fencing academy in Paris and a lot is riding on her acceptance. If she fails to get in, her grandfather will have her and Tomoe moved back home again. She'll lose her newfound freedom, her friends, her secret identity
Still upset about essentially being called a sidekick, Kagami isn't ik the right mindset for fencing. She and Trixx have a little chat in the locker room before she puts her necklace and ring in her locker
Marinette, Alix, Kim, and Ivan (the last three having just stayed past their lacrosse practice) are there to cheer Kagami on and show their support
Kagami and Adrien are paired up to fight, but they don't have any mats to practice on because they're being cleaned. While they're fighting, Kagami steps on a wet part of the floor and slips, losing in the process
No one liked that
The instructor says that since she lost she can't join and says his decision is final when people mention how unfair he's being
Kagami just walks out, trying not to show how upset she is when she calls her mother to share the results. When asked to challenge the decision and do a rematch, she states that in her family there is no room for second chances and leaves
Then haha akuma time
Having not gone back to her locker, she doesn't have the fox miraculous so it's a normal akuma
Might change some things about Riposte not sure yet
Shell Shock messages Kitsune that they won't need her at the start of the fight but things get rough for a bit there, and he can't help but think that Mirage would have been useful then
The heroes end up winning, Kagami's mother tells her to "stop being stubborn" and to accept a fair second match, deciding to keep her loss a secret from her grandfather
For the final bit, Kagami gets her proper rematch, and kicks Adrien's ass. And with that, she's in the academy and gets to stay in Paris
She goes and puts on both her ring and the fox miraculous, apologizing to Trixx for what happened while they were apart
Befana
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARINETTE
The class is preparing a surprise party for her, everyone pitching in something to make it extra special
Some of the classmates discuss their gifts to her while preparing, Nino with his playlist for the party, Mylene with a plush from one of those animal charities, Alix with a collection of recipes and some spare fabric she got from her grandma all the way from Egypt
And Juleka with a CD of "background noise" music she and Luka made with Marinette in mind
As that's happening Gina (?) Shows up for her annual Nonna and Mari day, which Tom forgot about because of how excited he was for the surprise party idea
Rather than what happens in canon, Gina and Marinette take turns choosing a small activity to do together, just like every year. After a trip to some candy shop, Gina's about to have her final turn where she planned to give Marinette her gift
That's when Alya calls Marinette and claims that she's got a huge scoop and needs her trusty moderator to help her out
Marinette doesn't want to miss out on the little time she gets with her Nonna but Gina just insists she go cause it sounded important. She leaves after saying she'll see Marinette back home later
The Birthday Girl shows up to the surprise party and she's actually surprised this time cause she was so focused on picking the perfect activities for her and Gina that she didn't see the clues
Befana happens when Tom tells his mom that Marinette is at a birthday party and she gets mad that her own granddaughter felt the need to lie as if she wouldn't let her go to her own party if she asked
There's a bit of a detail about Marinette not even taking any of the candies with her, even though it's both of their favourite
I liked Befana's powers well enough, I thought that it was pretty cool. It's based on La Befana, who I believe is basically Italian Santa?? It's cool
The heroes struggle to sneak away while some of their classmates are turned to stone or into those weird angels, all while trying to keep Marinette safe
Shell Shock and Chartreux are the most successful, since Kagami and Kim are trying to protect the birthday girl
They do get a chance to transform and Shell Shock comes up with a complicated plan to stop the akuma
So obviously it gets screwed up at some point
Once the fight is done, Marinette tries to talk to Gina and explain everything, making it clear that she loves their days together
This is when Gina gives her the gift, er, gifts. First is a bag meant to allow Mari to bring some if her sewing stuff on the go
The second is a jacket just like Gina's, only it has the little blossoms from Marinette's shirt and shit, and announces that she's staying in Paris for a while longer, promising to take Marinette on a proper bike trip
Here's the next four episodes planned! I'm nearly done with season 3 now and I'm gonna wait to do another Differences post while I figure things out with 2 and 3 lmao
I hope y'all like my plans for these episodes, so let me know what you think! Suggestions, complaints, compliments, I'll take em all
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Note
Hey, did you get a chance to watch season 6 of Lucifer? What did you think of the finale?
This is going to be salty (sorry) so I put it under a cut for people who prefer joyous things in the feed.
I didn’t like the final season.
To be brief: It felt like a story where the writers knew how they wanted it to end, and therefore the plot ruled over the characters. It wasn't a main plot I enjoyed at all, and it was told in a way that made it difficult for me to appreciate even the small bits I liked. (Ella reveal. Ghost Dan.) I thought it suffered from a jarring tonal shift and when it comes to several overarching themes, I felt it negated/trivialized previous seasons. In many ways it also managed to be both cheesy and cruel, often at the same time. I had the impression it was a compilation of (unfortunately rather boring) fandom wishes and tropes more than authentic storytelling.
To be anything but brief:
I dislike the season in part because it undid a lot of great things about Lucifer as a character.
By the end of 5B Lucifer had come full circle. I think that season finale is great. The Lucifer vs Michael fight was so well done thematically - he fought himself, and unlike the first fight in 5A when he wants to hurt his twin he had now reached a state of personal growth, of compassion. Not even when Michael kills Chloe does he deserve death because everyone deserves a second chance. And then the funny and pitch perfect “Oh, my me”. Ambiguous enough about the details to fuel the fandom, clear enough about the themes and the lore to offer closure. (No, Deckerstar didn’t have a date or much of a snog but I can fill in the blanks there though I am aware that many fans were disappointed by the lack of on-screen love.)
Excellent way to end the show.
Except they didn’t. S6, I feel, tried to tell the same story all over again, only not as well or even coherent.
Over the seasons it’s been pretty clear that while Lucifer can be caring, he mostly cares about the handful of people in his life. S6 even touches upon this, has him trying to care for random people in their hell loops. But S5 already did this, but better, with Michael. The family dinner with God was excellent, it showed broken people all around and had Lucifer, the self-centered drama queen of the family realizing that he’s not the only one that’s been hurt. It showed the best and worst of them all. Sparing Michael, considering Michael worthy of redemption, was peak growth for Lucifer as a character because in that moment he also considers himself worthy of the same thing. That’s when he truly forgives himself. I thought. And then season 6 shows Michael as a prisoner in Hell, just once, never to be mentioned again. Is that a second chance? Is that redemption? Is that really the symbolism they were going for or just a spiteful and stupid little addition because LOL SOME PEOPLE DESERVE HELL. (Do they? Says who? The show doesn’t answer that because the show that focuses on the neutral character the Devil and the totally untarnished place Hell doesn’t much care about such divisive matters, but more about that soon.) I dislike the season, in parts because I wasn't satisfied with the moral/quasi-theological backdrop. The system is wrong, Lucifer concluded by the end of 5B. Season 6 has him return to the system, as an Afterlife Coach of the Damned. Is that really the best they could do?
I mourn all the cool possibilities of what Lucifer, the advocate for free will and defender of desire, could have done with hell as a concept. Blown it apart, closed it, tossed the keys to someone else and rode off in the sunset. At the very least he could have altered it so that it’s no longer solitary confinement but a collective of doomed souls trying together to achieve redemption but hey, never mind me, I’m a bleeding-heart socialist and I don’t believe in revenge and I don’t believe in God but if I did, God would forgive. Otherwise, what the hell is the point?
I parsed through the season with my husband, a real-life minister who doesn't think anyone deserves hell and who gets to suffer my long-ass questions about the theological themes of popular culture a little bit too often. Because we both felt slightly insulted after watching. "Is this bullshit what they offer me?" my husband asked me as the timey wimey time travel plot unfolded. But timey wimey bullshit aside, we concluded that the real reason we were both so annoyed and frustrated with the season is because it highlighted how flat the background lore really is. I mean, I guess they wanted to be yay, neutral and non-divisive themes galore! It’s good to be good, folks! If you’re not, well, I guess you might have your spine broken by the Devil or sent to a never-ending hell loop but let’s not talk about religion! The main issue, for me, with the whole system of heaven and hell and earth on the show is that for every equation, there’s a part missing. The show has borrowed the character from the comics verse but left the entire lore and its internal logic behind. It borrows a bit of moral philosophy, but cuts away the troublesome bits otherwise Lucifer can’t both be on a redemptive path and happily slaughter people in fits of vengeance; it uses Heaven and Hell and vaguely also the concept of sin but never answers any questions about it, apart from the central message of course: it’s up to you. In fact, the show discourages questions about the lore because it has no answers. It doesn’t care. The ending of the show brushes off the much needed systematic changes of heaven and hell like it’s just another joke. (Want to know a show that has compassionate writing about morality while managing to be very funny? The Good Place. And you know what, morality should be serious. I’m a softie and again, a bleeding-heart, but it’s important to be a good person and it’s important to get a chance for redemption. It matters. It’s not just a minor detail.)
Which brings me to the damn therapy theme. I know a lot of people like it and I have also liked it a lot in previous seasons. I have. It’s been quirky. (Also highly unprofessional, but hey.) But as the key to your afterlife/redemption/second chance it’s just not good enough.
It is so very, very individualistic that it makes my skin crawl. It’s the ultimate American solution to systemic injustices and suffering - hey, it’s up to you, man. You decide if you deserve hell. You decide if you deserve Heaven. You make the difference! You can do it! Live the afterlife dream, achieve all your goals, get a hell loop that no longer loops but… stays in one static place where at least you’re moderately happy. Navel-gazing into your soul is certainly one way to get some insights into your mistakes. But it’s not redemption. Redemption is an active choice to be a better person. You don’t have to earn redemption or deserve it. And redemption isn’t the same as forgiveness either. Redemption is the opposite to pointless, everlasting punishment. It’s hopeful and it’s ugly and it’s full of purpose and the chance to be better and add something good to the world. Even Lucifer doesn’t get to do that on the show. He deals only with the already doomed. The here and now on Earth fades into the distance as Deckerstar, too, gets their happily ever after in Hell. You’ll get pie in the sky when you die. Or you get to shag on a throne in Hell. Either way, life on Earth doesn’t matter. (Here the show lean into some really dodgy Christian themes, I’d argue, but hey, it’s not about religion! It’s just a fun romp about a reformed bad boy!)
“Hell is just revenge porn for fundamentalists and other people who believe in eye for an eye. I just want there to be a level of collective forgiveness and hope, you know?” I told my husband whilst chugging down beer. As you do when you watch crap that makes no sense. “A level of hey, I’ve got this, I forgive you, you can do better. Go and do better. And then the actual opportunity to do so, even if it's just reliving your life as a ghost again and again until you figure out what went wrong.” “Honey,” my husband said. “I hate to tell you this since you’re an atheist but that level you’re talking about? That’s Jesus.” Well, screw that.
I really don’t want to need Jesus to make sense of a story. I just want decent bloody storytelling.
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handlewithkara · 3 years
Text
@facepalming-since-chernobyl
I think the whole point is that SG writers or rather producers have no idea how to write the show or don’t have a plan or are just… really BAD at what thye are doing.
I always try to sort of cater my predictions to their skills. And yeah, they are not great. But Iook to pairings like Brainia and Dansen, pairings they apprently WANT to seem healthy and wholesome. And the writing there is still flawed and frustrating. But I think it still tells us something about how they view relationships. 
Brainia and Dansen give me the vibe is that the writers value people supporting each other and having shared values. Compared to Kreisberg who was more about “I’m attracted to this person even though we have conflicts (and we later find out we have more in common or even start learning something new from them)”. The current writers are more about “yes we have problems and secrets, but we still come together and support each other because ultimately we care about each other and share the same values”. 
Which is why to me Andrea and Lena feel like something that would make sense to these writers, because both are more morally “grey”.
I also think the writers just treat 5A as a playground that doesn’t matter. They will just never address it. Hoping for it is just a waste of time to me at this point. If feels like the writers look at it as “we knew crisis was coming, so we finally could let Lena do all kinds of nutty shit without having to own up for it”. 
So I think for the rest of it, they look at it as Lena and Andrea being more even, where yes Andrea screwed Lena over and Lena did so in turn. They maybe both were trying to use each other and they are both characters to play dirty in business so they won’t hold it against each other that much in that way, potentially, presumably. 
IF the writers are serious about writing a deeper bond between Andrea and Lena, so she is believable as Lena’s main sidekick or companion when the show ends then I would expect it to work more along the lines of how Dansen and Brania work (like Brainy being attentive of Nia’s insecurities in the prom episode or the Myxy episode, or Alex being attentive about Kelly’s desire to be Guardian and Kelly being attentive about Alex’s desire to adopt, heck even how Karamel were kind of attentive of each other’s feelings in 3B). Them supporting each other and being considerate of each other in a more personal way rather than in a generic Kara and Kelly are nice and empathetic with everyone kind of way.
 Andrea helping Lena develop her magic could be that, them hunting Lex together could be that, them grieving William together could be that, Lena helping Actrata make inroads with the Superfriends could be that. I was gonna joke that Lena’s character seems kind of built around being inattentive of the feelings of others (though even though I don’t like her there are some things were you can argue traces of it, she was for example being protective of Sam and James in her own way even if it there were also elements of being misguided about it), so it’s going to be interesting how they are going to tackle that aspect. What I always say, whether Lena is going to be a better friend to Andrea than she was to Kara. Or if it’s just going to be the same with Andrea making her life supporting Lena’s stories and the only difference is that well at least she isn’t a much tortured borderline angelic super heroine, but kind of a messy jerk herself at least to others. 
That does not mean that even if the writers do that that they will ever be the kind of relationship you like or can respect, let alone go shipper crazy for. Because the writers and you just have completely different values of what makes an interesting or good story or ship. 
I’m just saying if the writers wanted to give Lena a good and healthy friendship to hold her up when the show is over, a relationship that the write according to their own values of what makes a good relationship this is how I would expect them to go about it 
So when I try to predict whether this is a storyline the writers plan to do, these are the signs I will look for.  (speaking of similarities, Brainia and Dansen (+3B Karamel) also all share scenes of one partner helping the other hone their skills and powers, that’s why it is so interesting to me whether Andrea will be with Lena in 13 or not, her being the one Lena talks to in her finding her powers episode is a good first step, but only the episodes after that will show whether they will develop it along those line or if that won’t kick in till later and some story with William, maybe about Lex).
The other thing are those shared values, because I think they kind of feed into the concept of how you can be yourself around the other person and you don’t have to censor yourself or change. There have been hints this season that Lena’s value system might still be subtly different from the Superfriends. Maybe the point isn’t going to be that she is finally going to be a repentant good person, she can keep her morality, she’s just going to be with a person (Andrea) who doesn’t have as much of a problem with it. 
(which of course sounds scary as fuck for anybody who is a Lena disliker, but I think from the writers POV we are supposed to buy that in the end Lena’s vaguely positive interests will win out in the end. 
It’s the diference between disliking Lena and thinking she would have to earn a happy and healthy relationship first and maybe the writers taking more the stance that they like Lena the way she is and her happy end is going to be with a person who is totally on board with her being the way she is, digging both her darker, more ruthless side and also understanding her angsty side) 
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twdmusicboxmystery · 3 years
Text
11x02: Acheron, Part 2 - Analysis
Okay, let’s talk 11x02. And 11x01. Because it’s a two-part episode, it’s important to consider them together. I have a LOT to say about what’s going on in these two episodes, so I’ll have plenty to post all week. Let’s dive in!
***As always, spoilers abound below for TWD 11x02. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***
Maggie
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The first thing we see is a point of view from under the train car. The instant I saw that, I knew how things would go. I never thought Maggie would die (if nothing else, there are scenes with her in the trailer we haven’t seen yet) but I was curious as to how she would survive. When I saw this POV, I knew she’d end up crawling under the train. Just as Glenn crawled under the dumpster. Massive parallels to Glenn. Which by extension, massive parallels to Beth. Major resurrection theme.
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It's also important that when she reappears, she comes from underneath the car. Obviously, that’s logical given that she crawled underneath the car, but they make a point of asking if the pounding is coming from the roof. Gabriel says no and then they open the bottom hatch for her. Her coming up from the ground like that is a visual representation of a resurrection.
So we see Gabriel, Negan and the others enter the train car. The spatial details here are important, and I had to watch the episode twice to get them all straight. It’s a little confusing the first time. So, the group jumps down into the train car through a hatch in the roof because they couldn’t get the door open in the last episode. The thing is, if you watch closely, you come to realize they’re not in the train car on the end. They must have walked along the roof for two or three cars before finding a hatch that let them in.
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So, when Gauge shows up, he comes behind them, and that confused me because I was thinking they came from that direction. And they did, but they entered through the roof, not the door. Anyway, they can’t get the door open. So honestly, even if they’d tried harder, I’m not sure they could have saved him.
This scene accomplished a lot of things, character-wise, that we need to touch on. It’s important to note that Gauge’s death happened due to his own choices. Does that mean he “deserved” to die or that they shouldn’t have tried to save him if they could have? Of course not. No on both counts. But that doesn’t change the fact that his choices sealed his fate.
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It's especially interesting that he called Maggie a Liar. Not only is that a throwback to the Governor, but it’s a particular type of mentality they’re showing here. Even the fact that he didn’t shut the door behind him is really interesting. My first thought was to be annoyed with him. Why WOULDN’T you shut the door. You live in this world. You know better. But it’s all ego. He can’t imagine something bad will happen. He just assumes if it does, someone will save him.
But the most telling thing was how angry he got before saying Liar. It just shows very much how he approaches life. When he messes up, he doesn’t feel bad, and accept that it was his fault, and try to learn from it. No, instead he gets pissed and blames everyone but himself and his own actions.
If this had been Daryl or Gabriel or Alden or any of our other heroes, they would have recognized that opening the door would have gotten their friends and family killed and would have sacrificed themselves. Especially if they realized they’d screwed up. But Gauge became angry and defiant, even killing himself.
Anyway, I’m rambling. This really has nothing to do with Beth or TD other than perhaps being a future template for something. But I thought it was a really fascinating character sketch.
The thing is, this isn’t really a matter of Gauge being wrong and everyone else being right.
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Maggie is…not doing so well either. As I told my fellow theorists, Paola Lazaro said in TTD last week that Maggie was kind of off the rails. I think she said that a little prematurely, because we really didn’t understand Maggie’s state of mind just by watching 10x17 and 11x01.
It's not until she tells that messed up story about the house she found and the people in it that we understand that her state of mind really isn’t at its healthiest. Even saying she wanted to kill Negan before is…understandable given their past. But it makes more sense now why Negan is so nervous. He’s sensing her state of mind that her moral conscience isn’t as strong as it once was, so of course he’s fearful for his life.
I don’t know where they’re going with this Maggie story line, but I have a feeling this attitude of hers will cause conflict down the road. Several of my fellow theorists believe it will cause a rift between her and Daryl. And we can see that somewhat through Alden. At first, he was very much defending Maggie, especially against Negan. He has a lot of loyalty to her. But he didn’t like her abandoning Gauge, and you can see his loyalties starting to waver.
At the very least, what she said about not feeling anything about it is the opposite of what Beth always stood for. Daryl was trying hard not to feel things during Still, in the wake of the prison going down. She made him feel things because that’s the only way a person is truly living, rather than just surviving. Now Maggie is in that state of mind.
And I’m gonna argue that makes it a prime time for Beth to return to help her. But of course I’m completely objective over here. ;D
Maggie’s Story:
Maggie’s story was definitely dark and horrible, but interesting to analyze. I’m assuming there was cannibalism going on there. That’s why the missing limbs. The men in the house were eating the female prisoners. No only a callback to Terminus, but remember that Bob’s leg was taken for food, so I’m sure that’s what we’re supposed to infer here.
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She talked about no eyes, no tongue, no limbs, vocal cords ripped out. So definitely the see no evil, speak no evil themes. With the limbs, it’s also a matter of not being able to escape or save themselves.
In terms of the plot, I do have one question about this that I think may be significant. Maggie first talks about three deformed people (she says, “I wouldn’t call them men”) coming toward her. She kills them, and only after that hears the noise from the attic.
My question is, why were they deformed? If they’re “men,” then they must be at least Maggie’s age, if not older, which means they’ve been around since before the apocalypse began. Even eating human flesh doesn’t cause one to become deformed, so why the deformities? I have no idea, but I wondered if there is a radiation theme going on here. Something they’re hinting at, but not saying. Just thought that was intriguing.
After that, things go sideways and everyone almost dies until Daryl arrives to save the day. So, let’s skip to his story.
Daryl:
We first see him bust through a wall with Dog. So, dog took off in the last episode, but the first time we see Daryl, he’s already found Dog again. At least, the first time. This is where he sees the murals on the wall, the walker with the handcuff and the suitcase of money, etc. I already talked about most of that in great detail HERE, so I won’t rehash it, though it’s very important.
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One thing I will say about the mural is that thematically, it’s a match to Still. So, in the golf club, we had lots of rich people who clearly hid there when the world first went bad. And I don’t remember this particularly, but several of my fellow theorists have told me they remember the TTD after Still and that the writers talked about how the golf club was a statement about the class system. You have these very rich people, but their wealth couldn’t save them. Death, walkers, the apocalypse…none of these things discriminate based on wealth or position.
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On the wall, we see people with crowns standing at the top, but below, they are homeless, and one of them is being attacked and torn apart. Meanwhile, Daryl sees a line of text that says, “it comes for us all,” probably meaning death.
Well, guess what? Angela Kang, in talking about the murals, said that this, too, was a statement about the class system. So thematically, this is meant to be a parallel to Still.
It’s just interesting to contemplate because if you think about it, most of our heros—Rick, Daryl, the Greene family, etc—weren’t at all wealthy. Rick was humble and well-grounded. Hershel worked hard his whole life and never had any glory or fanfare. And then there’s Daryl, who was “nothing. No one.” They all survived.
So of course it’s a socioeconomic statement, but it’s also one about mindset. It takes not only grit to survive this world, but a certain amount of humility. Ego always gets you killed eventually, as it did with Gauge.
I’ll also mention that I thought the guy with the crown who was being torn apart was being set upon by walkers, but AK says they’re specifically not walkers. They’re people.
So, it’s not a coincidence that we see this juxtaposed with the Gauge situation. His ego gets him killed and we literally see him being torn apart because of it.
Moving on.
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Daryl finds a bag with a $100 bill with a letter written on it. This is a massive TD clue from start to finish. 100 is an important number. The hundred dollar bill features Benjamin Franklin on the front and Independence Hall on the back. Look either of those up and you’ll find lots of fun parallels we could point to. I won’t go into all that today except to say it’s definitely part of the Revolution theme.
This is what’s written on the bill Daryl finds:
“Dear Dad, you always said if you don’t come back in a week to move on. Mom didn’t listen and went looking. It’s been three weeks, so we’re going next. I’ll watch Jesse and turn on the radio every day at 10. See you both soon. Love Tom and Jesse.”
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He also finds a picture of two kids. So, the “three weeks” jumps out because of Rick’s line in 5x10, “it’s been three weeks since Atlanta.” It’s also about missing family members, going searching for them, etc. Possibly important that the mom is also missing. I can’t help but think of the song from Still. “Our mother has been absent, every since we founded Rome…”
There is a 10 in there, which is an important number. The turning the radio on every day is both the radio/airwaves theme (also a line from the song) but a callback to Rick and Morgan and their walkie talkies. So, really interesting symbols here.
The two kids immediately reminded me of Noah’s twin brothers. I don’t think these two are supposed to be twins. I’m assuming the brother is older. But still obviously siblings. And it hearkens back to the last episode Beth was technically in. Which also had a lot of the CRM/Revolution theme in it. (X, X).
AK says this family probably didn’t make it, so I’m not expecting these kids to show up in the narrative. But it’s also important to note that the little girl is carrying the toy rabbit Maggie found earlier. So the rabbit also ties into all this symbolism. (P.S. I didn’t get to my rabbit post last week. I planned on it, but time got away from me. I should get it posted later this week.)
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So, this is massive in terms of TD symbolism. I’ll talk about it fits into the bigger narrative in a minute.
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Then Daryl kills the sleeping bag walker. I wasn’t sure the significance of this at first, but I think it ties to the tents and sleeping bags we saw in Atlanta in 5x06, Consumed. Daryl and Carol passed them while looking for Beth. So, this just shows us that this is tied to her storyline and Daryl searching for her.
You could also argue that the walker was “hidden” at first, and it’s significant that Dog found it/realized it was there before Daryl did. 
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The other thing is that as he’s looking at the sleeping bag walker, there’s a random shoe on the ground next to it. Missing Shoe/Foot theory, which is also indicative of Beth. 
They hear another roaring sound and Dog takes off, running into the dark tunnel.
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Here’s the thing. I think most people will assume the roar he heard was just more air being forced through the tunnels by the storm, as Alden explained it in ep 1. But I always watch with the subtitles on and I noticed at this part, the subtitles said, “Man Roaring.” So they actually did hear someone screaming. And that’s probably why Dog ran toward it.
After watching it again, I realized it’s probably supposed to be Roy. He’s the white-haired guy, played by C. Thomas Howell, who Daryl finds wounded after he emerges from the Tunnel. I think whatever happened to him when he went topside but then got attacked by walkers is what Dog heard and went running toward.
Maybe not terribly significant in the plot, but it’s important symbolically. Because once again we have something Daryl hears from a distance but doesn’t see. Dog (a proxy for Beth) runs toward it, and Daryl follows. When he does, he find someone who had previously separated from the group. They’re hurt, but alive. See the parallels?
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I will say the Roy situation confuses me just a little. He’s clearly hurt, and when Daryl tries to bandage him, he refuses, saying, “just tell my kids I didn’t die a coward.” But then later he’s with the group, all bandaged up, and seems to be okay. (He dies when they reach the Reapers by taking an arrow to the head, so he still dies overall.) But it’s just weird that it seemed he would die, then seemed he was fine again.
It may well be something that foreshadows a future situation, and that’s why it’s not making tons of sense right now. Only time will tell.
Anyway, I kind of glossed over Daryl crawling through the dark tunnel. I don’t have much else to say about it except that it’s a SUPER potent symbol for Beth’s arc and very important that he emerges on the other side and finds this person. Annnd then goes to save TF. (Dark Tunnel Symbolism).
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So, he hears the gunshots and finds the train they’re on. He comes up behind the walkers attacking them from the front, kills them, moves the bench blocking the door, and lets everyone through. Then he uses a grenade to blow up all the walkers. (Ew.)
After that they all get out of the tunnels and go topside. The next scene is also super important. We see the stars above. That’s partly to show that the storm has passed now, but also constellations = Sirius.
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Maggie asks what he has and he tells her about it. There is one weird moment in this scene. When she tells them about the supply depot she wants to stop at, she says Georgie (from S8) set it up for emergencies, for people on the outside to use. When it says this, the camera focuses on Daryl for a LONG moment, and he looks almost sad. I’m not sure what they’re trying to tell us there.
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Anyway, they all head out. Unfortunately, when they reach the right neighborhood, the Reapers are there to meet/kill them. And Roy is the first to go.
So, a couple of things here. I’ll probably do a details post because I’m leaving out MOST of the background details throughout the episode, and there are a lot of them. Lots of details to be gleaned in this scene.
But the second time I watched it, I was struck by the people hanging upside down. Obviously a grim sight, but it occurred to me that these people hanging this way look a LOT like the deer diagrams from Scars. Let me show you some pictures:
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Top pick is 11x02. Middle and bottom one are from Scars.
See what I mean? So, chances are something about Scars foreshadowed the Reapers, which is interesting. They clearly see human beings in a certain way (as animals to be strung up and…perhaps eaten?) And that makes me think that what Maggie found in that house may tie into the Reapers as well. Just kind of interesting foreshadows of coming plots.
Eugene:
Let’s talk Eugene and then I’ll shut up for today. Eugene’s stuff was very intriguing. First thing you need to know. And understand, I didn’t know this. @wdway​ pointed it out. Some months ago, the actress cast as “Stephanie” was announced. This is her:
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And that’s clearly not the woman who steps into the train car at the end. Which means this isn’t really Stephanie. She’s a decoy. In fact, the actress from this episode is billed on IMDb as “woman 2,” not as “Stephanie.”
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Knowing that, if you go back and re-watch the parts with Eugene’s group, they mean something very different.
On the surface, it seems that Zeke, Yumiko and Princess are taken away in a sinister fashion. Then Eugene melts down and tells his story. (Note: while he focuses on his feelings for Stephanie and I think most of that is true, he still says he lied both to her and to his friends about being from a large settlement. So, he’s still keeping large chunks of the truth from them.)
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Again, on the surface it seems that they accept his explanation and just decide to allow them all in. All the stuff with the other three is just a misunderstanding.
But if “Stephanie” is a decoy, that can’t possibly be the case. I think Zeke and the others told Eugene the truth as they know it, but they’re all still being manipulated.
After Princess left to pee, the guy told Eugene no one was in the room and acted like he had no idea who Princess was. They were definitely using psychological torture on him, trying to break him.
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I think they know very well that Eugene's group is still lying about their settlement, and they're using a decoy "Stephanie" to find out the truth.
My point is that it goes back to the hallucination, making-someone-think-they're-crazy theme. It will be really interesting to see how this unfolds, because there's all kinds of psychological shenanigans going on here.
@galadrieljones​ made a really interesting connection some time ago. She noticed that back in 10x18, at Leah’s cabin, there is a metal, heart-shaped chair. The same chairs show up in the Commonwealth’s sales video from the trailer. So there’s some kind of link between Leah, Daryl’s memory of her, and the Commonwealth. We don’t know what it is yet, but all of this gives credence to the idea that she is either an outright hallucination, or Daryl is just remembering things wrong.
It also might mean that the Reapers are connected to the Commonwealth in some way. We don’t really know yet, but I’m having tons of fun trying to figure it out.
I want to touch briefly on the train car theme. Once again, there’s a parallel in both story lines (Terminus, and this one at the Commonwealth). Daryl’s group is in train cars this episode. And while Eugene’s group has been at a different compound, they started in the train yard and end in it here. But what I noticed is that Eugene enters the train car at the end, which is furnished inside, and finds his friends there. They all have a happy reunion.
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It made me think of the fact that when Rick, Daryl, Michonne, and Carl enter the train cars at Terminus, there is also a family reunion. What happened beyond that was not good or easy. Clearly, Terminus was not a good place. Many of them almost died at the trough and they had to fight their way out through a walker blood bath.
I’m just saying that, while it obviously won’t play out exactly the same way, something similar is probably waiting for Eugene’s group outside that train car. Not good.
Acheron Overall:
Okay, let’s get to the big cheese, here. The overall narrative. The template.
These two episodes are called Acheron part 1 and part 2. So here’s the skinny:
Acheron = Underworld. Daryl’s group going into the subway tunnels (dark, underground) is what constitutes Acheron and why the episodes are called that. That’s why, at the end of this episode, they emerge from the tunnels onto the surface (i.e. the living world).
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Given all the death, cemetery, and dark tunnel symbolism around Beth, given that she ventured into the land of the dead by being shot, maybe clinically dying for a time, and being thought dead for so long, what this tells me is that everything that happens in these tunnels is a foreshadow and template for what will happen this season.
I maintain that Dog = Beth and we will soon see something where Daryl hears something (not necessarily her; it was a man screaming so I still think it will be Rick he hears word of) and goes chasing after it. While searching for it, he stumbles across Beth. Then the two of them (both Dog and Daryl returned to the train car) go back in time to save TF from something.
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This is most likely why the Roy thing is weird. In a super understated way, he represents Rick in the template. Daryl will find him, but only after he finds Beth. Even consider what Roy says. He says, “tell my kids I didn’t die a coward.” And that’s all well and good, but did we even know Roy had kids? No. Have we met them? No. But who has kids that Daryl IS concerned with? That would be Rick.
So I’m thinking that maybe when Daryl finds Rick, Rick will think he’s dying for some reason, and that’s why the dialogue here. But he won’t, which is why we see Roy with the group later.
And no, I’m not thinking that Roy dying via the Reapers will extend to Rick. It’s more like what they’ve done with countless characters that have been Beth proxies. Eventually, they kill them off. He’s a minor character they were using as a proxy, and when they are done with him in the narrative, he becomes walker chow. Or, in this case, Reaper fodder.
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Anyway, I think everything will end up being a foreshadow for something. Maggie and Negan. The Gauge situation. All of it. I’ll try to keep coming back to this as the story progresses to show what everything foreshadows. I’ll stop there for today.
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ramzawrites · 3 years
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Prince!Eret x Assassin!Reader - One Dance
GN
Pairings: Eret x Reader
Characters included: Eret
Warnings: mention of death, talk of murder, very small mention of alchohol at the beginning
Series: No, a small fast drabble
Summary: You were sent to the local ball in order to get close to the heir Eret only that once you see the perfect chance for you to strike your emotions and feelings think this would be the best time to flare up.
Word count: 2119
Authors Note: I wrote this in the 2nd person which I’m not sure I like but I tried doing it anyway. I have been super busy with college but I wanted to write something for Eret since I love them a lot! Also this is really just a small drabble for fun so don’t expect too much lol
You sighed, taking another sip from you champagne glass. It was more so you fit in with every other snobby looking rich person in this ball room who where either dancing or chatting the world away than to enjoy an alcoholic drink.
Everyone was wearing these garish gowns with even more horrible looking masks. Thinking it would hide their identity and making a fun game out of this. Of course if you knew someone it wasn’t hard to recognize who was standing in front of you but if you didn’t it was apparently a charming game of who is who.
Though you weren’t here to play games. No, you had a job to do.
The good thing about this kind of ball is that it was actually not that hard to stand out. Everyone was wearing glittery, garish dresses and suits that the easiest way to stand out was by wearing something more toned down. All you had to wear was something that showed off the good parts of your body with simple garments.
That’s what you did. The only real choice you made when looking for what to wear was the color. At the end you settled for a simple wine red color. The mask you wore was covering both your eyes while also covering half your face.
There was no way anybody knew you there but it wasn’t about being recognized. The point of this mask was that you remained unknown. The Syndicate who you worked for made sure you were dressed properly for the event and wanted to give you at first a ceramic mask that would cover your whole face but you made the point then that this would probably pull a bit too much attention to yourself. The whole allure of this mask business was that you could see a hint of the real person.
This wasn’t your first job technically but this was your first job doing it alone and while being face to face with your victim. Honestly when it came to assassinations this was a classic and therefore should be treated as such, meaning people were expecting this.
Your goal? Prince Eret. The old king died a few weeks ago and he was about to be crowned the next ruler of the country but there were a lot of people who would love to see otherwise. Surprising? Not really. Especially seeing how the last king was a horrible ruler making sure to make the rich richer and bleeding the common folk dry. As far as people knew Eret wanted to do his best to undo this damage.
You sympathized with him, really, but a job is a job. To that you weren’t a big fan of any kind of government as well. You grew up with the Syndicate and got raised by them. You saw it all from the normal folk starving, getting beaten by the guards for not paying their protection fees all while the rich where eating cake and drinking the most expensive wines. So no, you held no love for this ruling system.
Everything was set. You had poison hidden in your clothes in case you get a chance to put it in his drink, got knives hidden and if worse came to worse you could use your hands. Now, of course to use all these things the damn prince had to appear but as it stood he was nowhere to be seen.
Angry you remembered how you told your mentor that honestly the best way would be for you to sneak in and kill him in his sleep but no this assassination had to be dramatic. To be fair this was the easiest way to get close to him if he would appear that is.
Repressing another angry sigh you decided to get some fresh air at the balcony. Give it five minutes and then return, if he is still not there you had to go back home. Your mentor forbid you to do anything else as it could jeopardize the whole assassination. Better to not attempt a failed murder and just regroup to find the next best opportunity.
It was already dark. The stars were up in the sky next to a full moon. A beautiful night for a sneak mission. Yeah, you were still not over that.
You took a good look over the view from the balcony. Right beneath it was a beautiful garden with all kinds of different flowers and hedges. Placed in such a way that it almost looked like a maze. In the middle was a beautiful fountain placed. Silently splashing in the night. It was then when you noticed someone sitting at the fountain, hunched over. Their back turned to you.
“That damned Prince.” You muttered. Of course you haven’t seen him in the ball room he has been hiding out there. This was perfect! He was alone!
Not trying to show your hurry you walked painfully slow back into the ball room, then out the room and snuck your way out into the garden. Before visiting the palace you had to learn the basic layout of the castle which honestly hammer back in how unnecessary this building was. So many rooms with no real use.
Outside, once you got close enough to the prince, you slowly pulled a dagger out that was hidden on your body. All you had to do was stab him. Either in the throat or heart. Easy enough. Wouldn’t be the first time.
Though as you stepped closer Eret tensed up. Did he hear you? You made sure to be as quiet as possible, there was no way.
“So, I’ve been found.” He spoke and turned around.
As he did you put both your arms behind your back, hiding the dagger in your hands. Trying to put a soft smile on your face to look more friendly “I am sorry, your highness. I saw you from up in the balcony and excuse my manner of speech but you seemed a bit miserable. Who would I be if I didn’t check up on the future ruler.”
Horrible.
Wait, did he roll his eyes?
“Oh, sure. I’m good. You can go back to the ball and enjoy it.”
This really wasn’t what you expected. You thought he would speak in this posh manner as all the others up in the ball room but he seemed almost normal. In fact everything seemed suspiciously normal. He wasn’t sitting up straight, his shoulders slouched, mask askew, clothing splotched by water. This prince was far removed from being what you considered princely.
To your horror you let out a chuckle. Where was your control all of the sudden? The prince eyed you with a curious gaze.
Embarrassed you tried to salvage this situation somehow “Oh, I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to be so-“
But Eret interrupted you “So undisciplined? Rude, even?” There was some bite to his words. Someone must have really laid in on him because of his behavior if that is how he reacted.
You shook your head “I would describe you as normal. Not snobbish like the others.”
For some reason he relaxed at that. A smile appeared on his face “Sorry if this offends you but you seem rather normal compared to the others as well if you see me like that.”
“Thank god for that.” You sighed.
The prince chuckled “Well, I’m glad to have met a somewhat kindred spirit then. I’m curious though. Can you tell me your name?”
“Y/N” you answered. Why did you say that? A blush spread on your face. Oh god, you are so screwed, oh no. Any name would have been fine but why did you blurt your real name out?
Eret took off his mask. Now you could see his genuine smile even more clearly “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”
“Ye- Yeah.” You stammered as you tried to mirror his smile. You needed to get out of there, now.
This went downhill way too fast.
Your heart hammered against your chest, you felt rigid while also shaking out of nervousness, your cheeks were red and warm. Honestly you would love to just push your face into the fountain to get out of this shocked state.
The prince looked so genuine under the moonlight. You mentally slapped yourself as you noticed that he was looking pretty handsome under this light.
“Want to sit here with me a bit? From what you described you didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of the ball as well.”
You nodded as you inched towards him and sat down. He returned to look back up at the stars. There were no words exchanged, yet it felt somewhat intimate. At least to you.
Gripping the dagger, still hidden behind your back, you waged your options. Just a stab. Right now. It would be easy. Just stab him!
But your body refused to move. What was all that grueling training for if you couldn’t kill your target? Hell, you have killed people before so why were you now having your troubles? Was it because this time your mentor wasn’t with you? Were you really so incompetent alone?
Then the music changed. You could still hear the music from the garden. It was quiet but still audible. The change of music pulled you back out of your thoughts. Taking a deep breath you finally made your decision.
You slowly opened your hand, letting the dagger fall slowly with almost no sound into the water behind you. Something in you stopped you from doing the job, no sense in jeopardizing the whole operation by making a mistake. All you had to do was get out and deal with the consequences then.
Just as you wanted to get up Eret turned to you. A blush on his face as well “I’m not good with this but would you care for a dance?”
He was cute you thought in horror.
“A dance? Out here?”
Eret let out a nervous laugh that send the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy “I mean, would you prefer dancing between the others? Of course if you don’t want to dance I understand. It’s not really something a lot of people like.”
Biting your lip you stood up “One dance. Then I have to go. It is getting late and my family is waiting for me.” Somewhat of a lie. You considered the Syndicate as your family but you weren’t blood related.
Eret’s nervous expression turned into a happy smile. He stood up and took your hand in his. Giving you a little wink as he led you away from the fountain so you both had more room to move in. Your heart couldn’t handle this.
Together the two moved in tandem to the music. Giggling every time both of you made mistakes. Stepping on each other’s toes, almost crashing into one of the hedges or just making up your own dance moves that didn’t fit to the music that was softly playing in the background.
“Would it be rude of me to wish this dance never ended?” Eret asked. His voice soft with an emotion you didn’t dare to accept to be there.
You laughed “No, I too wish this would never end.” It was the truth.
“So tell me your full name or a way to get into contact with you if that is alright with you. I would love to stay in contact.”
That blush would never leave your face, huh.
It took a moment before you answered “I will get into contact with you, that is a promise alright?”
You then moved towards him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and as he sucked in a breath you let go of him. Moving away back inside, leaving the place in a relative hurry, all while Eret was still scrambling and trying to understand what just happened.
He tried to follow but you gave him a warning glare, stopping him in his tracks.
As you moved away from him he softly touched his check, returning back to the fountain. He couldn’t help giggling to himself. Whatever just happened it was the first time in a long while that he truly felt happy. His heart beating rapidly as he put his hands on the side of the fountain. Staring down into the water, as his rush of emotions slowly calmed down again.
It was then as he saw something glinting in the water. Curious what it was he moved closer. Surprised he pushed his hand inside the water to get a dagger out. A small dagger, sharp as can be with a few intricate designs at the hilt.
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Xisuma and Evil X- A Hero By Any Other Name
So. This happened. You ever get the urge to write 9000 words of Evil X and Xisuma as brothers that in a Super Hero AU where the government is corrupt and runs all the heroes into the ground in the name of “protecting the most people possible”? With lots of Evil X making poor choices to help out his exhausted hero of a brother? And then have that story end up taking over your life for about a week until you can get it all out? Yeah. Yeah, glad I finally finished this but gosh darn am I double glad that I can move on to other projects.
Also on AO3.
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A story in which there are two little boys, a pair of twins by the names of Evil X and Xisuma. Xisuma is good and kind and responsible, everything that his mother ever wanted and more. Evil X was the mistake, the additional child their parents didn't want nor could afford to have. Their parents had run the math, knew the risks, knew that if they penny-pinched enough, they could afford to have the child they always dreamed of. Evil X threw their maths into chaos, and if they wanted one son, they had to take both.
Evil X and Xisuma knew that Evil X was a mistake, that his presence was why their family could never afford to go to the movies, why they couldn't buy school lunches like all the other kids, why their parents were so stressed and tired and cruel. Still, Xisuma was glad that his brother existed, even if it made his parents' lives harder. He wondered if that made him a bad son.
In time, Evil X and Xisuma were left alone by everyone in their lives and until all they had are each other and the void that their parents left them with when they had to look them in the eye and tell them that they couldn't take care of them anymore. Even now Xisuma thinks that the void raised them better than their parents ever did, teaching him and his brother to lie through their teeth, be sneaky, be cruel.
In the orphanage and the many foster homes that followed, Evil X did his best to take care of his twin as a sort of penance for screwing up the life Xisuma could have led. In return, Xisuma lied and lied and lied to the matrons and the well-meaning children about anything and everything he needed to. They don't need anyone but each other. (Truth.) They are happy. He is everything that Evil X needs, Evil X doesn't want a family. Xisuma is enough. (Lie.)
(Gods, don't take his brother away.)
Xisuma grew up with lies on his tongue and smiles in his eyes, warping himself into the golden child, larger than life. Evil X grew up in the shadows with bruised knuckles, a bruised heart, and eventually, scars across his face from a fight gone bloody and wrong. He was protecting Xisuma, the scars were worth it- his brother accepts them with an odd little smile on his face and a shattering in his eyes. It is a moment that stays with them long after.
---
Eventually, foster homes turn into streets and dumpsters, and long nights spent under the covers together are turned into nights spent up in the branches of trees in the park. Xisuma makes friends with the pigeons while Evil X pretends not to like their feathered neighbors. They curl up the same though, bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces high in their bower. Made for each other, quietly shaping themselves around their twin so as to better protect them and shield them from the cold.
Evil X comes home to their tree with stolen sweaters and wilted flowers and popcorn kernels from behind the movie theater so that the birds don't starve. Xisuma meets him with tears of wonder in his eyes and fire dancing on his fingertips.
Xisuma has magic. Evil X tries not to be jealous. As it turns out, he has very little to be jealous of when it's revealed that there are many other people who have magic throughout the city- or rather, "superpowers." It's like something straight out of a comic book, if that comic book resembled something like Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" or the Transformers IDW continuity.
People start dying. A lot of people. Those with powers that make them look monstrous are feared, hated, and eventually outcast. Those with powers that are useful are drafted to fight wars and heal people for hours and hours with no rest in the hospitals. Xisuma sells himself to the city officials behind Evil X's back and in return, he and his brother get a cold glass and steel apartment and food enough that they will never starve again.
Evil X begins to build up muscle, fleshing out and growing tall and strong. He hates it, hates his body, because Xisuma never becomes more than whipcord strength and whispered words- down-turned eyes, up-turned lips. Reassurances that he's happy, really, truly. So obedient, his brother, the ideal filial son to the system that Evil X could never bring himself to be. They train the civilian out of his twin and mold him into a leader, a real proper superhero.
They don't give his brother lunch breaks. They need his power too badly, they say. There are people dying and they need his strength.
Gods, it makes him sick.
Xisuma's slight figure hides in his brother's shadow when they are at home, and Evil X does his best to wrap around him until the "monsters" of the world can't get him. Evil X lets Xisuma's flames dance across his fingertips and tickle his face, their gentle warmth driving out some of the chill in their big empty apartment. On truly special days, they go to the park to feed the birds. The higher ups don't like that, of course, insisting that Xisuma under Evil X's care is like using his spark for a kerosene lamp, contained, stifled, unable to help anyone in any way that matters.
The city wants a bonfire. Evil X growls and tells them no, but Xisuma just smiles and his eyes shatter a little more as he goes with them willingly, offering himself up as kindling. His superhero name is Matchstick of all things, and Evil X knows his brother well enough to know that he picked it out himself.
A nod to the fact that he is destroying himself? An inside joke and an apology in one, maybe. It breaks his heart too much to think on it.
---
With time, the rules and roles become a little clearer and the war begins to solidify. Basic rights for those with powers is still in the works, but Xisuma is able to start eating a little more. Evil X makes him protein shakes to take with him to work anyway.
The heroes are this: Matchstick, Reaper, Ivy-Over, Xenon, Spatter, Shank, Krypton, and Trigometric. Xisuma, Cleo, Gemini, Tango, Vintage Beef, Iskall, Impulse, Cubfan.
The villains are this: Armistice, Zyon, Ooze, Clockwork, Poultryman, Valkerie, and Lumesce. (Welsknight, Etho, Jevin, Mumbo, Grian, Stress, Pearl- but our hero doesn't know this yet.)
Evil X sits on their shared bed and holds his twin in his arms, listening to him talk about work with troubled eyes.
Reaper. Cruel, with a tongue like a knife and teeth even sharper. She eats her enemies whole and seems to enjoy the taste of blood. Somewhere in the dark of the building is a man named Joe who whispers comebacks and threats to her for her to use in her next fight. She has not seen him free or unshackled in three years. Around his neck is a metal collar, an irony too bitter for her to speak of often. Xisuma hopes they treat him well.
Ivy-Over, blinded by the glitter and shine of heroism, still firmly thinking the best of her political overlords. Naive. Carefully herded off the battlefields as soon as her fights are over so that she never sees the casualties her massive vines leave in their wake. Xisuma worries that one day the illusion will be broken and with it her mind. She seems like the kind of person who could regress to using entrails as a skipping rope if pushed far enough. Evil X does his best to reassure him, but the lies turn to mulch in his mouth.
Xenon and Krypton, a duo that never let the higher ups split them up or force them to fight alone. Together they share a record for the fewest recorded injuries, as well as a certain fierceness in their eyes as they volley explosive balls of shadow and light between them, bouncing them back and forth to build up velocity before letting them loose on their enemies. Still, the people whisper about how much more help they could do if they were simply separated, able to cover more places at once. At night, Xisuma hears them crying, bundled tight in each other's arms and mourning their missing third.
Shank, their sniper. Supreme accuracy, a consequence of his self-built bionic eye and his special laser rifle. The higher ups are murmuring about what he could do if more of him was bionic. What improvements could be made to his body? How many more lives could be saved? (How many more "monsters" could be put behind bars?)
Splatter, their brawler. A sip of blood and he hulks out, his strength becoming all the greater the more he drinks, so the higher ups give him all the blood he could stomach and more. They never tell him where it comes from, and he's too afraid to ask. (He was a butcher before this whole hero thing, he had explained to Xisuma once. He knows what animal blood tastes like. What they give him is definitely not animal blood- and sometimes, it makes him feel sick. He always was allergic to steroids.)
Trigometric, who bent reality into fractals, who seemed just a bit more broken than the rest. He actually liked his job, and that perhaps made him less of a hero and more of a monster. (Mr. Goodtimes was a head of government of some renown, famous for his power plays and his campaign that favored brutal action against those that the city condemned. Trigometric called him "Scar" with affection on his lips and that was perhaps scariest of all.)
It's terrifying hearing about his twin's coworkers and their varying flavors of unfortunate and unstable, even worse when he has to stay at home and watch the news to see if his brother has survived to see another day against the violent protests and the drug rings and mobs and super villains.
Because there are super villains. He even meets one.
---
The pigeons need feeding. Life or death, whether Xisuma is around to remind him or no, the pigeons need feeding so every Tuesday and Saturday Evil X goes to the park with a bag of bird seed. It just so happens that one sunshine-filled summer day there is someone there before him. Crouched close to a few pigeons, at first he thinks the figure is just dressed in a purple cloak, but when the figure stands up and stretches, the cloak separates to reveal a pair of brilliant purple wings. Poultryman.
Evil X has seen his brother come back from fights and he knows that while Poultryman is a figure of some renown, his battles rarely cause collateral damage- that's more the hallmark of his partner Clockwork. So when Poultryman turns to face him, trademark white mask over his eyes and an odd expression on his face, Evil X just glares and walks up to him to dump the bag of bird seed on the super villain's feet.
"For the birds," he says tersely before spinning on his heel, preparing to walk away. The sound of bright, cheerful laughter has him pausing and the sound of wings meeting the dirt has him turning around. Poultryman is on the ground, rolling around in the bird seed and laughing his head off, clutching his stomach and flapping his wings wildly, which only makes even more of a mess.
"Pffftt- hahaHAhAHaH! Oh gods, your face! If I couldn't tell you were so pissed off to see me I wouldv'e thought this was the greatest prank ever!" Oookay? Evil X crosses his arms, unimpressed and left with a sneaking suspicion he is being made fun of.
"And?" Poultryman lets out a last few wheezing gasps before smoothly rolling to his feet, mask askew and utterly covered in dirt, grass, and bird seed. The local pigeons have, surprisingly enough, not scattered just yet.
"And that was brilliant! Tell me, are you the one who's been feeding the birds around here? The pigeons have been dying to introduce me to their 'friend' and I've been eager to meet them ever since. Well, the word translates more to family but there's some non-pigeon implications mixed in there, so friend works a little better. I don't think my feathered friends have quite yet figured out how to buy their own bird seed. You don't look like a pigeon anyway."
"No. I am not a pigeon," Evil X sighs, shifting his feet but keeping his posture defensive. If he remembers right, Poultryman never did any real damage but he apparently came off to Xisuma as a little unhinged and he'd rather not test the super villain's good mood. "And yes, I feed the birds around here. Can I go?"
Poultryman tilts his head to the side, going abruptly silent and still, all emotion wiped from his body language, expression, and voice. "That depends. Would you like to make Matchstick's life a little easier? I have a deal for you."
---
It goes a little something like this.
Clockwork and Poultryman schedule a raid on a local food processing plant, hoping to take their newest shipment of tin. Matchstick and Splatter are in the area and are called in to help. It's a poor match up to begin with, with Splatter's strength not doing much against Clockwork's robotika and Matchstick- while able to keep up with Poultryman in the air, barely- can't seem to land a solid hit on the villain. It doesn't help that he seems to be limited in how hard he hits, too conscious of what his flames might do to Poultryman's vulnerable feathers and of just how high they are in the air. Clockwork, meanwhile, is free to pilfer what he and his partner please from the plant.
However, despite the lack of damage the super heroes are able to do, the villains do even less. To Evil X, that is all that matters.
In another part of the city, a group of civilians meet in an abandoned railway car, dry docked in a train yard with its rusted frame resting on several heavy blocks of wood. The door is chained shut, but that means little when the underneath has a hole cut into it and if one is determined enough, crawling inside is easy. There, they exchange moth-eaten blankets, half-broken appliances, tattered clothes, and the tools to fix them. Money. Documents.
Evil X brings food. The government promised food unending to him and his brother, he may as well take advantage of it.
A deceptively normal-looking man with glasses and a deactivated metal collar around his neck brings a stack of books in, most of them picture books for the children. Another man, this one with green skin and robotik prosthetics, brings a stack of battered but newly repaired mobile phones, gaze shifting around nervously, as if scared to be caught there. Evil X makes a quiet note of the men but moves on. Theirs is not a story he feels like tampering with today.
When Xisuma comes home to find Evil X laying face-down in bed, fast asleep, he just smiles and tucks himself in beside his twin. Today is the first day in a long time he had come out from a fight unscathed, and tomorrow he will share the good news with his brother. For now, he sleeps.
---
In time, Evil X becomes a staple of the Homeless Enforcing Principles, which quickly gets abbreviated to the rather unimaginative "HEP." He wonders in the back of his mind if a certain man in glasses had something to do with the name, but decides not to bother with that quickly enough. He has enough on his plate as is with his newly adopted duties.
You see, when you get a diverse enough body of people together from all echelons in the city, and then put them into a rather small space, they begin to do what every group of friendly strangers like to do on the train- start complaining. Sometimes it's about the new "neighborhood watch" starting trouble on the corner of 6th and Fruit, sometimes it's about the new increase in taxes their boss wants to implement, sometimes it's about the stock that slips through the gaps when the trucks come to restock the supermarket.
Between him and his twin, Evil X never really was the one for idle chit-chat, but he knew lies just as well as his brother did and public speaking was just lying with a pretty bow on top. Stock begins to get left off of inventory sheets and put into the hands of the needy. The "neighborhood watch" get pointed towards the parts of the city that actually need their help (conveniently drawing the attention of the local law enforcement, who can actually do something about the problem).
He begins to donate more and more food to the cause, waistline thinning in the process. He thinks he likes his figure better that way.
As Evil X puts more time into his new project, crime rates don't exactly go down, but the number of people arrested for stupid reasons certainly does. The other members of HEP begin to bring in their friends and family and the pool of resources and talents grows, expanding outside the walls of their train car and out into people's basements, gas station parking lots, metal trash bin bonfires in the park. Little pools of community, and for Evil X, wellsprings of information.
Clockwork and Poultryman are some of the first actual super villains to come to the meetings, this time under the names of Mumbo Jumbo and Grian, but they are not the last.
---
Armistice arrives hanging off of Lumesce's shoulder one night, his metal body forcing her to drag him along on the ground, shredded legs unable to hold his own weight. She cries steady tears of light, seemingly near-physically pained at being unable to further help him. Evil X watches quietly from the background as Grian looks up and over the bonfire from where he is tending the jagged gash in the unconscious Mumbo's leg.
"Wels. Pearl. Got you too, huh?" The carefully kept-up cheer is gone from the man's face as the duo settle down by the fire, sprawling out in a rough heap.
The woman, Pearl, nods wearily, pulling off her hood and wiping at her face, glowing tears staining her black jacket. "Yeah. Trigometric decided he wanted to come and 'play' for a bit, seems he finally caught on to the illegal clinic I was running down in Mr. TFC's basement. I was lucky enough to get an anonymous tip that he was coming, but Wels got caught in the crossfire for defending me." Grian nods back, eyes distant.
"Give Mumbo a hand with his leg, I'll go grab the last of our tin for Wels to eat so he can patch himself up. E-X?" Evil X straightens up at the winged man's attention. "Call up Keralis and see if you can't get some hew housing sorted for Mr. TFC. I doubt his house survived in the crossfire and you might as well fix it for him with my permission and funds rather than just sort it out behind my back and try to sell it to me as an 'investment' later."  With that parting remark Grian stands up stiffly and flies away, leaving Pearl to make her way over to his partner, healing tears already streaming down her face so that she can start to fix the wound.
On the other side of the fire, Wels reaches down and rubs at the sharp and twisted metal of the remnants of his left leg, expression lost and weary. "Things can't keep going like this, so many of us are running on fumes by this point. Something has to change." Expressionless, Evil X just turns away, pulls out his cellphone, and begins to make a few calls.
He carefully ignores the twisting of his heart in his chest.
The next day, Mr. TFC has a room in a decent hotel and Evil X sits on his perfectly white couch staring at his overly large TV, watching the news. Armistice and Poultryman are fighting against Matchstick and Ivy-Over, dashing in and landing a few hits before retreating to the shadows, then running up to repeat the process again. The fight ends with both sides retreating, the heroes to the hospital, the villains to skies with Poultryman straining to bear both Armistice's weight and the load of cash stolen cash in his arms.
Grian's going to pull a wing muscle again, Evil X just knows it.
Xisuma leaves the fight unscathed. Gemini isn't nearly so lucky.
---
The next super villain he meets is mostly on accident, a random encounter more than anything. Tired of lounging about all day, if you call making connections and surfing the internet doing fuck all, Evil X decides he hates himself a bit more than he usually does and decides to go job hunting. A quick internet search later and he finds himself standing outside an abandoned warehouse on the North docks. He and his brother never had much more than their birth certificates and social security numbers to their name, so shady suited him perfectly fine.
A man steps out from behind a corner dressed in a hospital mask, black pea-coat, and a sailor's breton cap as white as his hair. Evil X freezes, eyes going wide as the familiar-looking stranger goes bug-eyed to see him right back. Then the man shifts his weight to his back foot, crossing his arms and wincing playfully, very real trepidation lurking in his posture.
"Uh, you wouldn't happen to by Matchstick's brother, would you?" Evil X takes a careful step away from the man, who he now recognizes as Zyon from watching the news, one of Xisuma's more common foes. His own research proved that the fellow had ice powers to put an iceberg to shame, which was ironic considering that he was secretly the business mogul Etho, who ran a shipping company helpfully named "Titanic Inc." It was doubly ironic since "Zyon" was notorious for causing problems for "Etho," who then claimed the insurance payouts when the boats eventually sank.
That the boats that sank frequently carried weapons, junk food made with GMO ingredients, and weirdly enough, socks, was of little consequence to him, but he kept that amusing tidbit in his back pocket for later. (The sailors on board were... collateral. And a nonissue. Anyone who signed up on a ship run by "Titanic Inc." deserved what they got.)
(Their deaths were not his concern.)
"Yeah, that's me. And you're Zyon- or rather, Etho." Zyon chuckles nervously.
"Yep yep, that's me. And you're very firmly on the 'no touchie' list around here, so I'm just gonna gooo...." Zyon flinches as Evil X suddenly attaches himself to his wrist, expression steely.
"List?" It's more statement than question, but it has Zyon gulping back a frantic giggle anyway.
"Oh no, I'm not messing with that one. Let's just say you should take that up with your brother and leave it at that. Get too deep into that mess and someone's gonna end up regretting it- and I'm not that dumb, that's for sure!" With that parting remark, Evil X finds his feet frozen to the ground and Zyon running off, dropping the black pea-coat of Etho to reveal the icy blue Kevlar ninja suit of the super villain underneath.
Bemusedly Evil X watches Zyon vault up a stack of pipes onto a nearby roof, then off towards the city where he could better better disappear.
Hmm. Seems like he needs to step up his game.
---
He runs into Ooze at the supermarket. Apparently they both prefer the green grapes to the purple ones. The more you know.
---
It's his encounter with Valkerie that really sets things off.
Xisuma comes home one day, tears streaming down his face and his gloves covered in blood and dust. He crumples in a heap at Evil X's feet where he sits on the couch and drops his face into his twin's lap, trembling. His arms dangle at his sides, blood dripping from his fingers onto the sterile white carpeting.
"Four dead found in a park near here. All teenagers, just having fun. Just. Just fucking kids! She ruptured their ear drums and they bled out because they couldn't move to get to safety. Gods E-X, their eyes... They looked so scared..." Evil X stays quiet and runs his fingers through his brother's hair, heedless of the muck clinging to the ends. Xisuma shakes himself to bits in his hands. "They were just kids. We couldn't do even do anything but clean up the mess afterwards."
Xisuma pauses, hesitant, before choking out- "That could have been us. Had we still been on our own, that could have been us." Ah. So that's it.
"We're safe, you know. Whoever Valkerie is, she won't get us here."
"But we don't know that! What if you're out shopping and she's at the market, or if she gets on the news and her scream works through the TV? What then?! I can't-" The words die in his twin's throat and Evil X gulps back his own.
I can't lose you. It's a phrase that's crossed his own mind more than once.
"Okay. Okay. I'll stay home until she's caught, okay? Get delivery or something, I don't know. And I'll keep the TV off, the radio too. Shhh. Shhhhh. I'll be okay." Xisuma struggles closer, shoving his face into his brother's stomach and getting snot and tears all over the both of them. Evil X doesn't complain. It's a lie and they both know it, but they've lived lies before, are used to it. What's one more, in the face of that?
To be fair, Evil X gives it a few weeks before he makes his move, and he knows he'll be fine so really it's only half a lie anyway.
---
Feet crunch against gravel as Evil X approaches the woman kneeling in the center of the abandoned construction site, hands over her mouth, eyes scrunched, biting the flesh of her thumb to keep her sobs held in.
"Hello Ms. Valkerie. Grian's told me about you."
The woman whips around, eyes wide and bloodshot at his sudden appearance, before she shakily lowers her hands from her mouth to clutch at the fabric of her pink cardigan. "I'm- I'm not some monster, got it? I'm just Stress, j-just- I'm just me! I don't want to hurt anyone!" Her voice goes shrill and thin towards the end and Evil X hides his wince, although apparently not well enough because she immediately slaps a hand over her mouth again, eyes watering anew.
"Okay. It's okay, Stress. I'm here to help," he placates, lowering himself down to sit next to her in the dirt. Around them, rusted I-beams and concrete pillars rise, giving them some semblance of privacy. The full moon lurks overhead, casting them both in a silver glow. "You're life must be very hard, hm?"
Stress nods, expression wary.
"And retail is very- ha- stressful too, I imagine?" Here a little grin leaks out from behind her hand. "All those customers whining on and on about discounts. 'Oh, I have a gift receipt why can't I return this?' Like, lady, you opened this box. 'I'm gonna talk to your manager!' Lady, he's just gonna say the exact same thing."
A stifled giggle and a whispered "Worse! I work in the women's clothing department." Evil X gives a mock gasp, face going wide and shocked.
"So you don't just have to deal with fussy customers- you deal with fussy suburban soccer moms!" Stress tips forward with the force of her muffled laughter, tucking her damp face into the curve of his neck and putting her full weight on him. Hesitantly she clutches the tail of his shirt with her freehand, then a little tighter when he makes no move to shove her off. Evil X just wraps a gentle arm around her shoulders.
"Some of those customers must make you want to go home and just scream, huh." Her laughter tapers off, but she nods, quiet. "So you go somewhere empty and abandoned and scream your heart out so you don't kill someone." Another nod, a little hitch in Stress' breathing. "And you scream and scream, so glad to release some of your pent-up feelings, but oops. It turns out there are people there anyway. And your screaming just killed them. You've become a murderer and the police brands you accordingly."
The hand in his shirt tightens, tugging. "I- I didn't want to hurt them! I didn't want to hurt anyone! But- but it just happened and then I was running, and no one saw me so I had to just go to work the next day, a-and. And-"
"And now you're the wanted super villain Valkerie." His hand smoothes up and down her back as her breath hitches again, once, twice, and then wetness against his neck.
"Valkerie is such a stupid name, anyway. I'm not escorting anyone anywhere, let alone to Valhalla. I just scream and. And they're dead."
Evil X hums quietly. "You must be very tired."
"...Yes. Yes." The moon slips through the sky for a while and they drift with it, lost in thought. Evil X stares up at it, squinting against its light to try and figure out what time it is, if Xisuma is likely to be home yet. The gravel is harsh against his knees.
Then. "Things can't keep going like this. I'm so tired, all the time these days. It's just work, day in and day out, and all this stress." She pulls away then and Evil X watches as Stress scrubs at her face, expression going cold and determined. She stares him straight in the eyes, but something about her still seems lost, like she's gazing through him. "Something has to change or else someone is going to get themselves killed."
He tilts his eyes head, considering, thoughtful, with a well-hidden edge to his voice.
"I think I could help with that."
---
The morning news. Four calls placed, a frantic brother reassured, Stress is sitting a cafe on the corner of Elm and 5th. Her gut flutters with nerves but Evil X can see her expression is calm from her position in the background of the shot. The news anchor is a pretty blond-haired, blue-eyed young woman blathering on about how the cafe apparently is the oldest one in the city and some other historical nonsense. Out of shot of the camera, a desperate, dog-eared petty thief is running for his life down 6th street, the hulking figure of Spatter hot on his heels.
They round a corner, onto 5th. Past the cafe, the startled reporter, the public shrieking as their morning is disrupted. Stress nearly throws up as her heart launches itself into her throat but she's... There's a plan and she's going to stick to it.
So she stands up, small and in the background of the shot, but her bright pink jacket makes her stand out. She opens her mouth, expression going scared like a civilian's, and screams just as she had been told to. It's not for long, barely a second or two all told, but it's enough to have the people near her cringing away, blood trickling from their eyes and from where their fingernails dig into their skin in trying to cover their ears.
Spatter freezes in his tracks, pupils mere pinpricks as the sudden outpouring of blood triggers something deep and wild in him. The camera shakes, the frightened camera man ducking down to avoid notice but carefully recording what's about to happen, as if sensing that whatever happens next is about to be important.
The hero turns towards Stress, eyes wild, and although she's scared out of her mind, she stands her ground. Her voice barely even shakes as she speaks.
"S-stop. Stop running, can't you see you're scaring people? You nearly ran me over!" In the eyes of the camera Stress looks like a frightened civilian gone civil defender in pink, the morning light casting her in gold and the cafe's shadow creeping over Spatter's massive, muscled-out form to cast him in darkness and grey. The lack of harsh lighting makes it even more obvious when he starts sniffing the air, darting eyes pausing on all the bloodied hands and finally resting on the woman who caused the damage.
The world has insisted, long and loud, that he is a hero and with that comes certain ingrained responsibilities. Stress is Valkerie. Splatter fixes his gaze on her and with a snarl, he moves.
The camera catches it in perfect, awful clarity when his arm goes through her stomach and her blood starts pooling on the floor. Her expression is so betrayed.
From his place on his clean, white couch at home, Evil X turns the TV off.
---
Stress is buried with honors and all media depictions of Valkerie as a monster cease as the streets are made "safe" from the super villain. Instead, news programs and talk shows take up a new crusade, this one against the "heroes" that protected the city and the governing bodies that controlled their movements. Mr. Goodtimes has his name dragged through the mud, and each day his brother comes home with stories about how frazzled Trigometric is, Evil X has to hide his smile.
Seeming to pick up on the way things are turning, Clockwork disappears from the public eye while Poultryman steps up the showmanship, making more appearances in public spaces to egg government buildings and steal petty amounts of scrap metal from junk yards and factory scrap heaps. The heroes that give chase, usually Xenon and Krypton, end up causing more damage than they actually prevent.
Ivy-Over- shocked at the public outrage about the apartments left in shambles after her particularly brutal battle against Zyon- rather predictably ends up snapping, although not in any way Evil X expected.
She ends up going to the news and telling them everything. Public outrage rises anew.
There's a riot in town square and Matchstick and Reaper are sent in to stop it. Thirteen people die, kindly Mr. TFC one of them. Xisuma comes home, collapses into Evil X's arms, and cries.
Things have to change. And so they do.
---
Midnight and two figures meet on a roof top somewhere overlooking the domed silhouette of city hall. The first wears a set of armor shaded in green and grey, a purple visor over his eyes and an oxygen-filter over the lower half of his face. The second figure has wings, stretched wide to block out the light of the crescent moon above.
Matchstick. Poultryman.
Xisuma. Grian.
Matchstick tilts his head to the side, drawing himself up to his full height to loom over the far shorter villain. "The status quo is falling apart, Poultryman. Does the deal still hold?"
Poultryman rolls his head to make it clear he had just rolled his eyes, the purple insignia on his mask flashing to display his annoyance. "Yeah yeah, I've spread the word to the others and they're not as crazy as the news likes to make 'em out to be. No one has hurt your precious 'E-X,' nor do they have any plans to. Too much trouble to mess with beyond trying to keep him out of whatever crime scene we'll be making, and that's hard enough as is. Your brother has a habit of making himself hard to track and it's getting... troubling."
The hero's posture suddenly goes as stiff as his namesake, smoke starting to hiss from the vents carefully built into his suit. "Troubling?"
Violet wings flap once, twice, before pulling tight against Poultryman's back and not for the first time, Matchstick curses himself for never bothering to learn what his various wing positions mean. The villain in question just rolls his shoulders back and settles into a careful parade rest that gives nothing away, expression pensive.
"Xisuma..." Matchstick flinches back, the careful line between them wavering at the name. "What exactly do you about your brother?"
A hesitant head tilt and he taps his fingers along his leg, thinking back to when he had last spent more than a few fleeting hours with his twin at a time.
"He likes sweet foods, even if he pretends he doesn't. Has more money invested in Derp Coin than he probably should. Likes red and black but gets fussy if anyone calls him a goth. Never seems to sleep, or eat regular meals, but he never seems to forget anything either. Best brother I could ever ask for- he loves me, I know that for sure. All the important stuff. Why?"
A wisp of cloud drifts overhead, casting a brief shadow over the pair, and in the sudden darkness Matchstick could swear that Poultryman had pulled a frown. Then the moment passes and the villain is back to his usual inscrutable self, the only emotion in his body language being what he had put there intentionally. His wings remain tight to his back.
"Then I think you might be in for a bit of a surprise one day, Matchstick. Here's to hoping you can roll with the coming storm."
---
Evil X is beloved by the HEP network. Regardless of Grian's intention in putting him in contact with them- or even why the villain knew of the group to start with- his repeated contributions to their food stocks made him an opening among them and his ability to make and exploit connections made him their hero. If you were desperate, hungry, in need? Evil X could get you whatever you needed at the cost of a simple favor.
When it came to the price of a life, a favor is a small thing to ask indeed. Is it any wonder that they became so loyal to him? So when Evil X began asking questions about some of the city's more sensitive secrets and its shadier underbelly, it was only natural that they told him.
From the tall man with green skin, he learned the best places to dump things so that they disappeared. From a sleepy-looking fellow with a bandana, he learned the locations of the best drug dealers, and from those dealers he learned of their suppliers, their manufacturers, the places where heroes never walked. From the man with glasses, he learned about the back doors and hidden routes through the biggest, most important buildings, the places where they held people until they could make them disappear.
And with this information, Evil X's services expanded even further. Drugs for the addicts, as contaminant-free and trust-worthy as he could find them. Ways to make people appear and disappear in the eyes of the law (and the occasional abusive spouse). Alcohol, cigarettes- and most importantly, information.
Or rather, black mail. If you wanted to know something on someone, Evil X became the person to go to. Months of careful manipulation had spread his name and his reach through all levels of the city and people from all walks of life took advantage of her services, although usually all meetings were held over the phone and through a voice changer fashioned to look just like his twin's mask. The secrecy only increased his popularity, as people just love a good mystery and a grey-shaded crime boss made a lovely story indeed.
And soon, this caught the intention of another of the city's fabled figures- the mad scientist who lived deep in the underbelly of the city, a place where no light shone. The man, the myth, the legend... Void.
But then, myths never were all that accurate, especially with things like names.
---
Curly blond hair, brown cardigan, a ripped white lab coat. Calculating purple eyes and a wide, wide eerily white grin. Short and stocky with a complexion like a ripe peach, the blue light coming off the lights overhead casting hazy shadows over his form, everything about the good doctor is simultaneously creepy and a soft sort of handsome- he has to say, he's impressed. The mythical Zedaph lives up to the city's dark rumors of him and he says as much, which prompts that grin to grow all the wider.
"Ah, hello Weaver! Y'know, I kind of thought you'd be shorter. And down here a lot sooner, I almost could say I missed you~!" Evil X balks as the scientist steps forward and grips his chin to tilt his head down, purple eyes wandering over his scarred features.
"It's not like you make yourself easy to find- and that's not my name." Zedaph shakes his head, leaning his face up with just scant inches between them.
"Little spider, you might be pretty good at hearing things but you're awful at listening. If you have large enough ears, you'd find you're just about the most talked about thing in the underground these days-"
"Do spiders have ears...?"
"-so like it or not, your web is big enough that people have been spotting it in odd places, which means your twin will probably catch on soon. Which means..." Here Zedpah spins away to walk to the opposite wall, pressing a few buttons on his tablet which make the underground laboratory brighten considerably. Evil X tries not to feel bereft at the sudden loss of contact. "Your plans are gonna have to hit double time. And I love me a good speed potion!"
Speechless, Evil X just nods as the scientist opens a previously hidden door and pulls out a laptop case from inside, turning to present it to him with a fiercely proud expression on his face.
"Knock 'em dead darling. I can't wait to see you rock their world~!"
---
What does the end of an era look like? It's not a sudden collapse of civilization, people screaming and running through the streets. It's not the violent murder of the governmental leaders or riots against the past order. It's not as clear cut as all that. Nor is it so subtle that people look around one day and go huh, as the world around them had shifted beneath their feet without their notice. Indeed, there are many who saw the tide rising and were all too happy to watch the waters sweep in and away.
It goes like this.
The super villains go missing. First one week goes by with no wild scheme or dangerous incident, then two, then three. The higher ups are frantic with worry, running constant meetings and keeping the super heroes out on the streets for as long as they could without the heroes themselves rioting. It keeps Matchstick out of the way of Weaver, and at the moment, that's all the thought he can afford to spare his twin. It's for the best, really. The next step is important.
Across every government-issued computer in the city, an email is issued out. Personalized, first middle last name, parents' names, chidlrens' names. An alphabetical list of every law the person in question had broken in the last ten years, the number of witnesses who saw them do it, sometimes video footage or photo-copied documents if the crime was serious enough to warrant more concrete proof. What the punishments for those crimes would be. What could be done, if those punishments were waived for money or fame.
Nearly a thousand people get an email in the span of 24 hours. (Evil X never wants to write another email ever-fucking-again. None. Ever.) The heroes also receive an email detailing what laws were broken by denying them rights, food, decent living conditions and overtime pay, as well as the names of several lawyers who would work for them for free if the email was shown to them within three days time.
Every email is emblazoned with a web-like logo with a bright red "X" sitting in the middle like a bloody spider. Though some plucky tech people attempt to track the emails back to the sender, their every attempt is rebuffed by the impossible firewalls built into the computer the messages were sent from. As imagined, chaos in its most understated form ensues.
The city officials scramble to keep their sinking ship from falling apart and the little people kept cooped up in square offices and cell blocks come crawling out of the woodwork to jump ship. Some of the heroes, such as Xenon, Matchstick, and Shank try desperately to hold things together, but others like Reaper head for the nearest legal office and hole up with a team of vicious prosecutor attorneys. Meanwhile, the civilians go about their business, unaware of what is going on in the ivory towers far above their notice.
Xisuma comes home to fin their apartment empty, and although betrayal sits like a rock in his gut, his guts still squirm with desperate, aching fear. (No... please, no.)
The super villains make their reappearance with flair, setting the stage for the next act. Each one takes to a corner of the city, working in pairs to capture civilians and hold them hostage en mass, their efforts to wide spread for the remaining heroes to deal with in one go. From here, walking along a quiet street and watched by hundreds of frightened eyes- a captive audience- Weaver makes his debut as he makes his way to the city capital.
Tall, whip-thin enough to make his proportions lean more towards slenderman than super model, and dressed in red and black armor with a matching helmet and visor, Weaver cuts an imposing figure as he makes his way up the white marble steps of the capital building to where a nervous-looking reporter stands. She straightens up at his approach though and with a nod to her camera crew, she starts asking questions just in time for Poultryman to swoop in and land beside the newest super villain, expression stern but a clear presence of support.
In his hands a laptop is clutched.
---
The demands are simple in theory, but Xisuma feels his heart thunder in his throat at every point on the list.
The week would be split into three types of days. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays would proceed as normal and the heroes and villains could go at each other as they pleased. Fridays would be reserved for the villains to do as necessary without hero interference under the caveat that no blood would be spilled, and Sundays heroes could have the same. Tuesdays and Saturdays, no one would fight, a proper break for everyone.
The villains would keep to their side of the bargain, Weaver says darkly as he stares directly into camera, just so long as the heroes kept to theirs. And measures would be taken for anyone who chose not to comply. Xisuma's brain goes fuzzy with static as the super villain makes a few other demands, something about fair wages and from when to when each group could operate, but his gaze remains locked to where he can just barely make out his twin's face through his visor. The words filter through him, dismissed into a soft numbing blur.
The air suddenly feels chilled on his skin, fingers twitching in his lap, a rough, twisting feeling in his gut like the bottom of his stomach just dropped away. He feels trapped, unable to move from the couch, from the wrong side of the screen. Oh, he thinks hazily to himself, he's about to be sick. Hmm, ought to do- something. About all of- of this.
Gods... What did his brother do?
---
An era ends like this- Poultryman sweeps Weaver away in his arms and in his place, Evil X comes home. Xisuma watches his brother come through the door, eyes glued to his brother's face even as Evil X places his keys on the table by the door and takes off his shoes. There's a gentle realization bubbling up that this is the first time he's seen his brother's bare face with his own eyes, without the tint of a visor between them, in far too long. His twin's got paler as of late, making the eye bags and scars stand out all the more.
"You're home." The words hang in the air and Evil X sags at their weight, leaning against the door as if to prop himself up for the conversation to come. His arms hang behind his back, a laptop case dangling in his grip.
"You know this isn't home any more than the tree was."
"We- we were supposed to be safe here. This was where we were going to stay!" Xisuma is going red now, rising up from the couch in his anger, and Evil X watches him with the dredged-up calm of a man resigned to drowning. Good, anger he could handle.
"You thought this was where we would stay, got us a nice, normal apartment that looks like it's out of a fashion plate without asking me. You think I like staying in this pretty white bird cage that you bought by selling yourself to the most corrupt people around? This place isn't any safer for us than the tree was, and at least in the park we had company!"
"Says the one who fell into bed with the literal bad guy! At least here you weren't getting into fights every other week."
"No, now you're the one doing that!" They're shouting at each other. They never do that. An acrid taste fills Evil X's mouth and he gulps it back, along with a few words he just knows he would regret if he said them. A deep breath, a slow in and out. "Look, just. Don't be a hypocrite, okay?"
Xisuma pauses in his wind up for a proper tirade, eyes wary and wet. "What?"
"You aren't the only self sacrificing moron here."
"...Oh." Yeah. Oh.
Here Evil X takes another breath, resisting the urge to hold it, then extends his arm to show his twin the laptop case. "Hey."
Xisuma folds his arms behind his back, looking at his feet and then up again, shuffling back a step. "Yeah?"
"Got you a present. You always were the best of us, so. Here. It was the last part of the deal I kinda set up, a kind of fail-safe slash card to add to your deck. This laptop has evidence of my entire operation, every backroom deal, every piece of black mail, every person I've had killed or vanished or what have you. Everything I've been up to for the last however long. And... it's for you to read. It's not gonna be fun, but like, I trust you so it's okay. If you read this and really, honestly think I've crossed a line you can't forgive me for, you can turn this into the police and... I'll deal with whatever you choose to do with me. No loop holes, no take-backs."
Here Evil X leans his full weight against the door and lets his arm swing back down to his side, gaze sliding off to the side and a melancholy smile curling at his lips and pulling at his scars. "I trust you. I trust you. It... It'll be okay, yeah? Just make whatever choice you need to. Don't hesitate." He doesn't promise anything, keeps the words 'I'll be okay' from spilling into the air between them, but instead allows a careful submission to enter his posture, head bowed and figure loose and hanging.
It... might not be alright, but it will be right and that will have to be good enough. (It has to be.)
Xisuma chokes, a sob rising in his throat as his brave, strong brother gives up before his eyes. The air in his lungs freezes solid at the thought of having to choose whether or not his twin lives or dies, because that's what this is, he can't pretend that the city wouldn't execute him at the slightest chance, agreements be damned. His gaze tracks wildly from the laptop case to the top of his brother's head to the window, as if trying to see if anyone could be watching, could make the choice for him.
It's not fair. It's not fair, why him, why? He was so good, tried so hard- his heart is loud in his ears, breath rattling in and out in wheezing gasps- sobbing now, utterly sobbing. Evil X doesn't look up, doesn't try to comfort him. Won't even move, gods.
Fuck it.
Evil X startles, back banging against the door as Xisuma rushes forward and rips the case from his hands, only to chuck it into the far corner before throwing himself into his arms. On instinct Evil X catches him and holds him close just in time for Xisuma to bury his face in the crook of his neck and burst into messy, tearful sobs. They shake together and Evil X lets his head thump back gently against the door, eyes hazily gazing up at the ceiling.
"It's not- *hic*- it's not fair! I didn't want this!"
"I know. I know." He runs his hand over his twin's back, his taller form bowing forward to shelter his brother's smaller one. Somehow, even now it feels like Xisuma is the larger one between them, solid and warm in his arms.
"Why do I have to choose? I never wanted this! Why?! Why would you do this for me?"
"You're my brother. I love you." A gasping, wet sob against his neck and his twin lets out a moan like a dying cow, low and agonized. Evil X focuses on a soot mark on the white ceiling, tears stinging his eyes and running down his face to plop softly into his brother's hair.
"But why?!" Screaming. Gods, he can't-
"I love you. I love you." Rocking now, back and forth, gentle, just as he had when he had come home from beating up the men who had tried to lay stomp out his brother's heart, scarred and beaten and bloody. I love you, he had said then, and he repeats it now.
Later, much later, Xisuma will have to boot up the laptop and read through its contents. He will try to burn it, first, but Zedaph's work is more durable than most and Evil X will watch as his twin will dump his emotions into his flames, desperately trying to stoke them hotter and brighter. Later, a choice will have to be made.
But for now, Evil X will hold his brother, warm and safe, and let him cry.
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shawtygonemad · 3 years
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Circle the Drain: Part 3
Circle the Drain
Daryl Dixon x Reader
Masterlist
WARNING⚠️: Mentions of drugs, alcohol, sex, mature themes, body image issues, overdose, pregnancy, miscarriage, and basic Walking Dead gore.
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We lived in that sweet bliss for weeks... months... I couldn't really keep track of time. We just continued in that cycle of partying, drugs, sex, booze, bliss. The only thing that interrupted the cycle was work. The only time I semi sobered up to attend. Day and night blurred together most days. Sometimes I wouldn't even sober up to go to work. Good thing our customers were blitzed themselves to not notice.
The people I once called friends started to distance me when they noticed how fucked up I was most days. My family hated to watch me go down the wrong path. Everyone turned their backs on me. Soon I had no one but Daryl, and Merle by default. This resulted in me befriending the other addicts that Merle brought around.
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Most days we laid around the living room floating on cloud 9. We'd giggle and chat as the TV played. Some times of baby sensory cartoons to ease our minds from a bad trip. With time feeling like a bizarre concept we slowly let our bodies wither away. We'd forget to eat or drink anything. The only thing we took into our bodies were candy and alcohol. Nothing sustainable to keep the average adult going. When we'd come down our bodies begged for sleep which we gladly gave it hours upon hours. It was truly no way to live, but we didn't care. The blissful high was too addicting to give up.
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My body became weaker than usual and made me incredibly sick. I thought nothing of it. It was probably due to my lack of nutrients. Feeling this way made me try to slowly eat a little here and there. I'd have a pj sandwich, or chips, or even an apple we had laying around. None of which helped. I couldn't keep anything down.
"Still not feeling good," Daryl asked as he brushed the sweaty hair from my forehead.
I was leant over the sink panting heavily. My body felt like it was shutting down. I don't think this was something I could fix myself. I was going to need professional help. Something was seriously wrong.
"I think I need to see a doctor," I groaned.
"Need me to call in today? I can drive ya," he offered.
I shook my head and gave a weak smile. My shaky hand patted his cheek.
"Babe, you already called in yesterday. And twice last week. Anymore 'sick days' and they'll fire you. Then we'll really be screwed," I told him.
"I can get Merle to take ya," he started.
"No offense, D, but I'd rather crawl to the ER then have Merle drive me," I weakly joked.
"I don't blame ya," he chuckled. "Are ya sure ya can make it yerself?"
"Yeah," I breathed.
Slowly, I made my way to the local urgent care. They took their time even though they hardly had any other patients. During the exam they threw tons of questions at me. Most of which I lied about because I didn't want to get in trouble with the law even though it was against HIPPA to report. Something I didn't remember due to the blurriness of my mind.
My heart raced as they took the multitude of tests. The thing I was most worried about was if they'd find any drugs in my system from the blood work and urine samples. I didn't care about anything else. Not even what was wrong with me or about my well being. That's why I was completely thrown off by the results they gave me.
"Pregnant," I asked, baffled.
"Yes ma'am. Congratulations," the doctor smiled.
My whole world was turned upside down. I was pregnant... Daryl and I were going to be parents. It made my blood run cold. I had a little human growing inside of me. Someone I'd be responsible to take care of for the rest of my life. There was no way in hell I could do it.
I could always get an abortion. The thought just made me queasy and sad. Something told me that I shouldn't get one. I didn't want to. I'd have to discuss it with Daryl. What would he want? We've never talked about kids before. Did he even want them? This would be a big step in our relationship. We'd definitely have to get our lives together.
I was trembling and terrified the entire time as I told Daryl. I wasn't sure what his reaction would be. Would it be anger? Sadness? Every possibility ran through my head. However, I never thought of the reaction he actually gave. Excitement and happiness. It was something I didn't expect, but something that gave me great joy.
"Y/N/N, are ya okay? What did the doc say," Daryl asked as he gave me a quick kiss as he entered our bedroom.
"I'll survive," I smiled into his embrace. "But D, I have something to tell you," I whimpered.
"What's wrong," he asked worried.
I sighed before gathering the courage to confess to him.
"I'm pregnant."
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He stared at me in shock for a few moments. He didn't seem to know what to say. When he finally came to, he wrapped his arms around me.
"What do ya want to do," he murmured into my ear.
"Can I be honest? ... I think I want to keep it," I shook.
He planted a big kiss on the side of my head and held me even tighter.
"I was hopin' you'd say that," he sighed with relief.
I pulled away to look into his beautiful blue eyes.
"Really," I asked, hopeful.
"'Course! I'd want nothin' more then to start a family with ya," he smiled at me before leaning down for a kiss. "Shit, we got a lot to do though! How along did they say you were?"
"Not too far. About 4 weeks, so we still have plenty of time," I grinned at him.
Merle, on the other hand, wasn't as delighted. He thought keeping the baby was the stupidest thing we could do. I didn't let his negativities get to me. However it did help me open my eyes. We needed to clean up our acts. No more drugs and parties. No more skipping work to fuck around. We needed to both move full time in order to afford this child. The trailer wouldn't be able to hold all of us, so we'd have to start saving money for a bigger place. Anything and everything needed to be done for us to become good parents to this little child.
However, giving up the addictions were hard, even for me. I had the sweats, shakes, and extra mood swings from the withdrawals. If I wasn't doing this for our child I would have given up easily. Fortunately, I didn't. I keep pushing forward for little Dixon.
I wish I could say the same for Daryl. He promised to stop for the baby and me. Merle just kept pulling him back in. Finally I laid down the law and banned alcohol and substances from our home in general. Sadly, this just drove Daryl out. He would be doing so well then he'd collapse again from his brother’s pressure.
The spiraling continued and got worse. It seemed like since we found out about the baby he kept circling further down the drain. He promised that he'd only take anything for special occasions. Begrudgingly I agreed. But soon everything became an occasion and lost its specialty. He distanced himself more. His love didn't feel the same. It felt colder and hollow. It was like he had become a shell of himself.
My heart broke every night I went to bed alone. It was like I had lost him completely. More times than not I spent by myself. My heart stung, but this child kept me going. I'd keep going for however long I could and prayed Daryl would get his head straight and join me.
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***
Part 4
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