#but screw that. i felt like writting this all down here. take it

[flooffybits]

What The Heart Wants

Idol: Wong Kahei (Loona)

marshmallow: So again hi, I here scenario coined, so 13 member in the first time fell in love with girl, and she fell in love with Vivi, and it account for contain emotions under itself, because she fears that its love not will accept, so she writes all their feelings in diary, and also she wrote letter for senior. And once s/o is a little late due to schedules, and her diary read, Junior, and then 12 girls were waiting for s/o to talk to her and then when she came the girls told her that love is normal and accepted it, and then all flushed s/o and Vivi well understood in senses (I'm sorry, but then my imagination flew away). The fluffy end. P. s There are no scenarios for Loona where there is a love line with Vivi, and if there are then there are few of them.

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: What’s up guys??? i know it’s been a long long  while and it might take me another century before i finish something but i hope you enjoy this little Vivi fic. i had to change a few things but i hope the mallow who requested this likes it 🥲

☕buy me a coffee☕

“Is there something on my face?” You blink a little when a sudden voice penetrates through your thoughts and you find yourself face to face with the eldest member of your group. Her gentle eyes have a hint of curiosity and mirth within them as she awaited your answer and you felt heat rise to your cheeks when you realized that you had been caught staring again.

“I, uh, sorry, I was just lost in thought.” You try to say, mentally cursing yourself for stuttering, but she only giggles before ruffling your hair. “You’re so cute, Y/n.” The compliment makes your face burn brighter and you duck just to hide the now very obvious blush as you muttered a thank you.

You can’t find yourself to say anything more after that, and you’re just relieved that Kahei doesn’t find the silence awkward when she rests her head against your shoulder. She’s always had a calming aura around her.

Which was what made you fall for her in the first place.

You knew that you were screwed the moment you realized that what you felt for her had surpassed the same friendly emotions you felt for the rest of your members. There was just something about her that just enraptured you and you would constantly find yourself on your toes just to keep up with everything she did and said.

You were in deep.

But instead of talking about your feelings to anyone else, you resorted to writing it all down, too embarrassed to let your feelings be known. Since you weren't exactly out, or sure about your sexuality to begin with, you opted to write every thought into your trusty notebook just to relieve the little bit of panic you felt when you realized your attraction towards the eldest.

All those feelings, all that confusion, every little detail was put away in a little notebook that you made sure to keep out of the curious eyes of your members. At first, you'd opted to write in your own mother tongue, for extra precautions in the event they do catch a glimpse.

But after a while, you'd gotten more and more comfortable with the Korean language and you ended up writing it halfway.

It was tiring having to keep it a secret, and it was even more exhausting when you realized that maybe you weren't straight. You had to be careful with the things you said and did, still finding it hard to pluck the courage to tell at least one of your members since Korea wasn't exactly a very welcoming place.

Over the years, you managed to hide your affections for the eldest, admiring her from a distance and even convincing yourself that you'd gotten over that silly little crush, even going out on a few dates with a few other idols you'd gotten to know throughout your career. But after everything, your eyes would still search for her.

Your heart still longed for her.

..

Putting your pen down, you stare at the latest entry to your worn out notebook, humming as your fingers gently traced over the pages.

It's been a while, but writing again ended up spurring new and old feelings in your chest. The nostalgia made your lips quirk up a little before letting out a breath and stretching your limbs. The satisfying pop brought out another sigh from your lips before you checked the time.

"I wonder what the others are up to…" You mumbled to yourself, rising to your feet to head out, making sure to put your notebook away in the corner of your table.

The girls have learned to respect your privacy so you're confident that no one would come snooping in here to see. And even if they did, you doubted that anyone would be able to understand a single thing, considering that the majority of your entries were written in your own mother tongue.

You did pick up after Kahei though and opted to write your members' names in Korean, for extra measures.

The memory made a smile effectively creep up your lips when you remember Jungeun whining when she managed to see her name mixed in with unfamiliar words. She didn't stop bugging you for minutes until someone else managed to steal her attention away, but she did bring it back up when the two of you were on a live together, telling Orbits that you were probably saying something to tease her, which you only laughed at before assuring her that it was all good.

Hyunjin had seen her name at one point, too, and her brows pinched together before she was calmly asking you about what you'd written about her. When you refused to budge, then she began to act and you found yourself trapped between her and the cold floor, whining and trying to escape her onslaught of tickles as you gasped for air.

And it was just a domino effect from there.

At some point, you would share with the girls what was written in some of the pages, but they noticed how you would skip others. They've learned not to push after you and Yeojin almost had an argument about it. Luckily, Haseul was able to intervene along with the others before it got too bad.

"Boo!"

Flinching, you stopped in your tracks as Sooyoung popped up from the corner, smirking when she sees the look on your face before she's full on laughing, Hyeju recording the whole thing from behind with a giggle of her own. "Not cool!" You whined out, pushing the taller girl a little as you walked by to reach the kitchen and Hyeju ended the recording as the pair followed you in.

"It was pretty funny, unnie." The wolf claimed and you shot her an unimpressed look. "You, siding with Yves unnie? Now that's something." You joke, making the older girl playfully scoff. "Oh, please, she does everything I tell her to." Sooyoung sassed with a flip of her hair, causing the younger girl to scrunch her nose up.

When she wasn't looking, Sooyoung failed to see Hyeju sticking her foot out in front of her, catching the yyxy leader and causing her to trip, earning another set of laughter from you and Hyeju.

"Yah!"

"What's going on here?" A calm voice mused and you damn near shut up when your eyes landed on Kahei smiling at the three of you. "Hyeju tripped Yves unnie." You answered and the younger girl pouted at you. "Why are you snitching?" She complained and Kahei only giggles at your antics before patting your head. "Just try not to get yourself hurt."

For some reason, your face flushes at the affection from the eldest and the pair are quick to notice, silently giggling at your display.

Once Kahei has exited the kitchen, Hyeju speaks first. "So… when do you plan on telling Vivi unnie that you like her?" You nearly trip over yourself, the red becoming more noticeable this time as you spun around to look at the pair who were already staring at you.

"I don't!" You say a little too quickly, voice raising an octave and Sooyoung mock sighs while shaking her head. "Oh, Y/n, you have to be more honest with your feelings or else you're not getting any girls." She stated like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Who told you I liked girls?" You retort and the pair both give you a knowing look. "Unnie, you're not that good at hiding." Hyeju tells you while taking a seat. "Maybe you're a little more subtle after being around everyone, but we can still tell. Even Lip unnie is tearing her hair out whenever she has to see you become a mess just so you can talk to Vivi unnie."

Now you're sure you're as red as a tomato. Even Jungeun could tell? Were you seriously that obvious?

"Don't worry, Vivi unnie doesn't know, and neither do Yeojin and Haseul, though she does have a bit of a hunch." Sooyoung informs you, quickly squashing down your hopes of possibly redeeming yourself from this embarrassing situation. “Oh, don't worry so much. All you have to do is confess your undying love-"

“Who said I was confessing anything?" You ask with wide eyes and Sooyoung cocks her head in confusion, almost as though she thought you were on the same page. “I thought you wanted a way to tell Vivi unnie how you feel about her?"

You said nothing of the sort and Hyeju just busts out laughing when she sees the incredulous look on your face.

“Are you out of your mind, unnie? I'm not doing that!"

Due to your increased volume, it's not long before Hyunjin hears the commotion and walks in, puzzled as she does.

“What are you being forced into doing?" The cat questioned and you spun around, letting her see your face which was a deep shade of red. “Nothing! I'm going out!"

You don't even wait, just rush out of the room before you're cornered and Hyunjin’s confusion only amplified before turning to the pair.

“What was…”

"Don't worry about it, unnie. She's just stressed." Hyeju promises, sensing that you needed the space, but Sooyoung only frowned in response. “It's gonna keep stressing her if she doesn't say anything soon."

Hyunjin blinks before she's quick to piece things together. “You mean Vivi unnie?"

Yeah, you weren't obvious at all.

..

“Vivi unnie can you please help me?" Jiwoo asked when she saw the older girl. “I think I left my notebook in our room after I finished writing. Can you please get it for me?” Seeing that her arms were full, Kahei was quick to agree, smiling gently at the younger girl. "Sure thing. Give me a moment.”

Upon entering your shared bedroom, Kahei was quick to search for the said notebook, humming when she checked the desk and smiling as soon as she saw the opened notebook.

However as soon as she picked it up, the eldest of the group blinked at the words written on the pages before quickly realizing that this was not Jiwoo’s notebook.

She recognized your handwriting right away and when she looked at the words spilled on the pages, she was quick to shut the notebook and then looked around.

When she sees the notebook with a penguin sticker and various doodles on it, she immediately picks it up and hurries out of the room. Kahei doesn't say anything when she gives Jiwoo the notebook, just hops into the van and looks around.

Her eyes are quick to land on the other van parked outside and she realizes that you're not riding the same van that she was in. It's likely due to how she took a while to get to the parking lot because usually you would be seated somewhere near her if you could.

So when you all arrive at the company for your scheduled practice, you can feel eyes on you as you converse with some of your members. When you attempted to look, Yeojin whined about you not paying attention to what she was demonstrating, causing you to quickly turn back to her and apologize.

“Sorry, kiddo, I'm paying attention now. I swear." You tell her and Haseul chuckles while the maknae puffs her cheeks out, earning a poke on the cheek from Jinsol before a new voice cuts in.

"Can we talk?"

Your head turns and a smile is quick to form on your features when you spot Kahei standing there. However upon seeing the conflicted look on her face, your smile was quick to fade away.

“Is everything alright, unnie?"

But instead of a verbal response, the older woman presents you with an all too familiar notebook, catching you off guard as you carefully took it from her grasp. “Where did you-" But she cuts you off before you can even ask, fear settling in your stomach as she speaks.

"You… " She looks slowly among the members currently present before she's gently taking your hand and leading you to a more secluded area in the room, earning confused looks among yours members. Though Heejin does throw you an encouraging things up whilst Yerim gives you a wave.

Once you're both alone, you're becoming antsier with each second. You're only assuring yourself that you're alright because there was just no way that Kahei would understand a word you'd written aside from her and the others’ names.

“Is there… something you aren't telling me?” Okay, so you could still play this out. "Did you see your name on here again, unnie?” You nearly cringe with how you force a chuckle out but Kahei doesn't budge except for a nod of her head. "I did… and I was able to read some of the other things written about me."

Your smile faltered and your fear was steadily growing. She's joking. She had to be.

“Okay, so maybe I wrote about how much I appreciate you a lot, but there's really nothing wrong with-"

"... I've been doing some studying, Y/n. I understand what's written on it.”

Your stomach dropped and your face grew pale at her proclamation.

Seeing how you've lost your voice, the eldest only frowns before letting out a sigh. "Hey, talk to me." Kahei had zero intentions of harming you. She just wanted confirmation for what she's read. It was impossible for her to just keep her mouth shut. Not when she's seen something so personal.

“I…” Chewing on your bottom lip, you can feel yourself start to tremble because there was just no way you could come out and tell her just how you actually felt about her. Not like you could do much now that she's read basically the depths of your heart with just one accident.

“I'm sorry." You croak out and Kahei is quick to wrap you in her arms when she sees the tears threatening to come spilling from your eyes. “I don't… I tried to brush them off, I swear, but they just wouldn't go away. I didn't want you to hate me so I wrote all my feelings down just so I wouldn't end up exploding.”

The latter only rubs your back as you sob into her shoulder, listening to every word even when some might now be too comprehensive for her as you continue to pour your poor heart out.

"I could never hate you.” She whispers once you've calmed down, but she makes no move to separate from you. "There's nothing wrong for feeling the way that you do, so never feel sorry about it.” She assures you before slowly pulling away but keeping you within arms reach.

Her eyes meet yours and she gives you the same warm smile that she always does. The same smile that's made you fall for her in the first place.

“Do you wanna know why I studied speaking and reading your mother tongue?" Shaking your head, she only smiles more before cupping your face, wiping your tears away as she studies your features. “It's because I like you and I wanted to impress you for when I could tell you that in your own language." She explains softly as your breath hitches. “But then I read your little letter and I realized that neither of us would be ready unless one of us actually did something instead of continue to let doubt control us."

All this time you'd been hiding, but Kahei had already been looking for a way to find you. You felt utterly embarrassed at the fact, but she's quick to throw all your worries away when she places a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Don't ever be afraid to come to me, okay?"

“I won't." You finally manage to say, finally calming down from your crying and gripping at Kahei’s shirt.

There really was nothing for you to be afraid of. Your members made sure of it when they found out. Kahei made sure of it as she held your hand through it all.

You could love who you wanted to love.

And you loved all of her while she did the same with you.

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #loona #loona scenarios #loona imagines #ViVi #loona vivi #vivi imagines #vivi scenarios #vivi x reader #loosemble

[moonfox281]

Hi Moon🌙, your pen is so beautiful, and to be honest with you, there days when the only thing that gives me the power to resume the day is your stories. I in love with Nightwing and Red hood in your writing, and I want you to know that someone across the sea always waiting for your update. English is not my first language 😊. Note: can please write a story about John and Jason take care of sick Dick 🙈

Thank you for such a beautiful heart-to-heart message. It always feels like a boost of energy getting to know that, at least, somewhere, my writting is making a small impact on someone.

And don't worry, English isn't my first language either. We're here talking anyway (´ ꒳` )

"101.4"

Dick pouted when Jason raised the thermometer to his head and forced him to look.

"No more patrol for you."

"But-"

"No but."

One night, one rain, and two hours soaking wet and cold. All of those were enough to knock Dick off his feet and bedridden him for the rest of the week.

Hated to admit, but this also might partly be Jason's fault. They shouldn't have screwed around in the shower after that, and now Dick was beet red and coughing his lungs out.

"Stay, pop." John crouched over and tugged the comforter up to Dick's neck. He had gotten so big over the years, but each time he hunched over their bed, half climbing in like wanting to join in their arms, he turned back to the little scrawny kid Jason fished out of Crime Alley that one late night.

"Get a mask, John. I'm contagious."

"I've lived on the street. Can't go down that easy."

Jason fist-bumped his boy and climbed over, joining in. They all ended up in a pile surrounding Dick. At least his husband wasn't complaining. Dick was always weak to heat, and John and Jason were practically two human heaters.

By the door, Beast came tapping his feet and claws down the wooden floor. He gave Jason those pleading eyes, whinny huffs when circling around the bed. Jason, who came up with the strict rule of not sleeping on the bed. His forth stayed strong until John started kicked his legs and Jason nodded his head, letting the dog jumped on the end of their bed and made his home there.

For the first time in forever, he was glad their bed was massive.

"Don't you boys have somewhere to go? A school to attend? A crime organization to run, perhaps?"

"I'll skip class."

"No you won't."

"I'll cancel today."

"No you won't either."

Jason fixed his place by Dick's side. He ran hotter with a fever, cheeks rose and lips red. Blue eyes sparkles on the verse of tears after each series of aggressive coughs.

He knew how to rile him up even when bed sick. Jason rolled over uncomfortably in his suit, clumsy with where to put his hands and feet. He dreaded to pull Dick closer but also not too close.

"You wear the set I gave you last Christmas." said Dick with his hands ran along the length of Jason's suit and tie. Bony fingers tuck underneath the waistcoat, down to his dress shirt and warm over the centre of his chest.

"It must be something important. You should go."

"Nothing is more important than you."

"That's not what a crime lord should say."

Jason snorted, "That's not how a husband should reply."

Dick stretched and hiked up in his arms and elbow, pulling Jason's by the tie and crawl fingers on his neck. He moved as he liked, had fun toying with people's hearts. Jason's heart in particular.

"Take John to school and go to your meeting. I'll call Jeff up."

"Nice, why don't you ring Slade over to join as well. Maybe Roy too. He'll come running a city away with champagne and flowers."

"What's with you and the people I know?"

"I don't know, what's with you and men who are eager to get in your pants?"

"Asshole."

"Your asshole," he shoved his ringed finger up and at Dick's face, "Forever!"

Dick laughed hard and it felt good to make Dick laughed in such an earnest, banal way. Even though his lungs quickly regretted it and pulled out a string of violent coughs and sneezes that left him breathless and sweaty.

John perked up from where he laid by Dick's side, "I'll got get some warm water." He was quick to his feet, hop off the bed and soon enough, they heard him clattering around in the kitchen all the way from the bedroom.

"He loves you."

"I know." admitted Dick, all swoon and putty against the impact of their son's silent affection.

"We loves you."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know." Dick's head turned to look at him, "I love you too."

"No, you don't get it." Jason climbed over and let Dick flopped down mattress from where he leaned on him earlier.

With both hands planted by Dick's head, it was so painfully obvious how different their sizes was. Dick wasn't small but he wasn't particularly big either, but Jason? Jason was a fucking giant. And he took full advantage of his physic.

"I love you." He exclaimed again, placing his big palm down Dick's heaving chest, and pressed until Dick coughed out again. "I love you. So don't fucking die on me."

It felt nice to have Dick all ruffled up underneath him, to have the mattress sunk under his weight and Dick looked up at him with sparking blue eyes, rosy cheeks and sweaty skin.

And it felt like some certain screws must be running loose in Jason's head for him to think of a sick person this way. But since when normality was in the Bat-kin bio? None of them was supposed to be normal. Same went for the grinning devil under his mass.

Sick or well, Dick was a fucking pandora box to not be poked. He wrapped his legs around Jason's waist and- Christ all mighty- turned the table. Jason went down with a painful creak of the bed, arms and legs, muscle and guns. None mattered with a Dick Grasyon in a milky wool cardigan and sweatpants, tousled hair and shimmering in golden light, straddled him right on the crotch.

Jason found himself praising the Lord, he wasn't even religious, he just found the need to thank some god for letting him crawl out of his grave to eventually crawl into this holy man's bed.

"Don't get cocky."

"Yes sir." came out instinctively, trembly like a fucking hoarse chicken.

"Drive John to school, and when you both get back, get me some cough syrup."

Dick trailed his hand down Jason's tie, pulled it, jerked him off the bed, and automatically, his hands found their way on Dick's hips to lock their bodies tight against one and another.

"I won't die. At least not until I'm the death of you."

"Y-yes."

"What?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy."

If Jason could see his own face now, he must look fucking stupid. But there wasn't something wrong, because this was Dick fucking Grayson. And Dick fucking Grayson was straddling his thighs and hooking his fingers in the short ends of Jason's hair.

At the door, John stood dumbfounded, water in hands, barefoot against the floor and mouth agape.

"Go to school, chump."

"Yes, sir."

This was Dick fucking Grayson.

#jaydick #dick grayson #jason todd #mob wife au #my fic

[limey-writes]

Hello this is my first time on this page, and I just wanna say your writting is just wow really good. It is awesome. I also heard you take requests so um yeah can I request how the mercs react when they realize that they in love with crush. Sorry this might be already done...you can choose the mercs :))

Oooooooooo I like this (: I appreciate your time on my page even if im slow lol I'll be doin my two favorite men!

Sniper

-- The man had known you for a few years now, working with you had become such a delight and he couldnt help but smile whenever you came knocking on his camper. He had a hard time explaining what he felt, but he knew deep down it was a little more than friendship. At first he felt flickers of just..something..in his chest, whenever you got hurt he felt an overwhelming protectiveness, whenever you laughed at a joke he felt like he was on cloud 9. He didn't want to ruin anything that he couldn't pinpoint what it was, but here he was, in the middle of the night laying atop his camper, you by his side fast asleep and listening to the sound of the night. The warmth in his chest was hard to ignore, I mean, the fast beating of his heart and the sudden awareness of everything around him was definitely something that had grown overtime, especially when you came around.

-- The feeling of you shift beside him made him hold his breath, the pounding of his heart accelerating the second he felt your arm brush against his. Where did this all even start? He thought, going over all the sweet memories with you..seeing you smile at him for the first time, to holding you close during hard times, hell even the feeling of jealousy whenever someone else flirted with you. But when did he start to care about that? He grumbled, the bright stars hanging above him just didnt seem to be enough to distract him from the memories of you two spending time together. The most recent being just a few hours ago, the two of you had just pulled up to a quiet calm spot, your usual place to come and chat while sharing a few drinks. The sun was set low and the warmth of its rays bathed the both of you in its soft orange light. Sniper remembered looking over at you, seeing that soft smile on your face, the realization of him staring at you as you turned to face him. That moment..he could live in it forever, seeing that sparkle in your eye as he listened to you tease him for staring.

-- Sniper sighs, before sitting up just enough to get a glance of the peaceful look on your face. He feels his own heat up, looking away as he still tries wracking his brain for answers. Your wonderful self.. just waltzed into his life and making him scrambled like this, who knew you were such a trouble maker. He scoffs, before looking over at you again. "Just what are ya doin' to me 'roo?" He mumbles to himself, he doesn't even know how he had gotten here, he just knew he had to protect you, even outside of battle. He wanted to be the one to make you smile, hang out with you plenty and make you feel just as warm. Smiling slightly, he hoped that maybe, his feelings were right, maybe this could be more than just a really good friendship, and just maybe his tucked away feelings could be reciprocated. Now all that there's left to do is confess it to you.

Medic

-- A man of science, a madman with medicine, he thought he had everything figured out. That is, until you had gotten hired as his assistant. Sure you shared similar interests in medicine, and maybe you didn't have any screws loose like he did, and yet you treated him so lovingly, so sweetly as if he didn't make gruesome experiments with whoever he could. You were so kind, your smile melted him instantly when you had first met, he remembered just how shaky he was when he shook your hand and how he stumbled over his words once he realized you two would be working together. Of course he didn't mind the extra help, but goodness with all the wonderous things you've already done, it wasn't easy to hold himself together.

-- He realized just how much he really enjoyed spending time with you. It wasn't long before a friendship blossomed between the two of you, and boy did the two of you talk about everything, whether it be gossip or stories from the past that you two always shared. He struggled at first trying to figure out what possibly could be the feeling that came whenever you were around, just wanting to gravitate towards you and hold you in his arms. Of course, he had done it before, a sweet simple gesture for you, a warm hug to thank him for a gift he had gotten for your birthday but it meant everything to him. He wanted to hold you and spin you in his arms the moment he realized just what had happened, but right as he was about to you had already let go and were pulled off to spend time with Pyro. You were perfect to him, the way you fussed over him when he overworked himself, the gentle feeling of your hands on his when you had insisted to tending to his wound once when he had cut himself on accident. He remembered how he had held your hand just for a moment longer, his eyes gazing lovingly into yours right before the sweet silence was interrupted by Scout's shouting for assistance in the distance, definitely earning him a very unhappy procedure done for a simple papercut.

-- Medic knew he harbored feelings for you, of course he just wasn't sure how exactly to spill them to you, no matter how hard he tried or how many times he tried to confess, he kept getting pulled away or distracted. He was almost tempted to use Archimedes to be a method to tell you his feelings, but of course instead the sweet bird had gotten sidetracked and instead found himself tucked into your shoulder for the day as Medic stared with envy for his feathered friend. Today was the day, he thought, he was going to be upfront with you and spill the beans to you entirely. Not without practice of course! So, as any sane man would do, he made Spy help him, and begrudgingly Spy did, using his disguise of you to make it easier on the poor Medic to finally be able to confess. "Schatz, you mean so much to me. All out work together has been something I truly hold dear to my heart, I adore your smile and laugh, the way your voice sounds when you call for me." He takes a deep breath, before shutting his eyes for a moment. "...And I love you." He takes in the silence, before opening his eyes and suddenly reeling back in shock, seeing Spy in front of him..and you standing beside him.

#tf2 #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 imagines #tf2 headcannons #limey whispers

[arpiniko]

So art review huh? ofc i'm later that most other artists. i always am.

what a year huh?

i know it is supposed to be only about art in here. but i really feel like sharing the overall run of that year. for myself. and since my ankle is swollen and in a bit of pain from unknown spider bite and i cant sleep its a good time to write it right? i'll tag it as a long post i guess so you can skip it. and maybe figure out how to put this all unter a cut on pc later.

january 2k21. what a year. or more. it felt like it lasted for actual 3years or 5min. i remember only deep darkness. oh i spiralled down as if i were pole dancing slide then. moment ago, i was with my fren buying some xmass presents for her fam and some of her frens. oh i was jealous of that. her having them in some kind of unwritten deal of getting each other presents. i wanted to be that. i wanted to matter to others. and just few days later. jan. and i felt so bad i told her i might be taking a break from social interactions. spoiler alert. itwas the dummiest thing i did all year. or actually the outright bad, terrible step. that made me miserable. i barely started that tarot art series, i had huge hopes with that. but. i mentally was so low. the lowest ever. just finished my phd. my bro wed. my other bro created a one man photo studio or sth. and i was the most miserable i ever was. even worse than after or before any operation i had.

january was... a void. so was feb, and march and april. but with those i will write more below. but... it was terrible for me. i got out of bed bc i had no other idea living with parents and having them 24/7 around. thats good in retrospect. but i can tell weekly i ate maybe total of 4 dishes. not full. just dishes. the only thing that got me going was my hammy. Płomyczek. little flame if you may, my little sunshine. you remember that post about a guy who had depression and got shrimps and they elevated him from the darkness? it was similar but not as strong. it just kept me.... nose above the water level.

also. january was just after my granny had a head stroke. she spent few weeks at hospital recovering. and you would expect her to come back very disabled. many have that after one. but she came back so similar. tired. recovering. relearning how to write, and loosing words. but... she could walk. read. count remember talk and do basicly anything she could before. so thats a great news! she still needed a lot of help. shes being after hesd stroke. grandpa still recovering after his half foot amputation. that was not ..... ideal. and i had to be the one, in my very drowning condition, that took care of them. me. who barely ate a 2day meals over the week. i had to have strenght to help granny with groceries, carry and help grandpa with putting on clothes, any house chores. i was living for them. not for me. i barely lived for hammy. and now i had to find any strenght to go daily and commute 1h each time to grandparents. do art. bc that was the only thing i did for myself then.

february was very similar. i drew some more tarot (thanks gods i at least could do any art at all), took care of plomyczek and grandpas and i got back on discord on one group. just one. it was the art one with few of my irl freinds. they didnt do much like... they couldnt. i would not allow to drag others with me. oh right. i forgot to mention why the isolation from my fren in the first place. she was going through her very hard and exhausting studies. some other shit oappened o her. and she was already succumbing to darkness. and my foolish ass though that with breaking any convos with her would ease the pain she had. that i wouldnt flood with my problems and i was dgragging her down. maybe i was. maybe i wasnt i dont know that. anyway. the dc. that was another spark that kept me up. just. social interactions. seeing other ppl arts. hearing their ups and downs and just.... people. around. even virtually. that was. what actually i think lifted me up. i wasnt just nose over water level. it was one eye. sometimes two. or maybe mouth. but still never good. but it was a little step forward.

so far forward that:

march.

i wrote a letter. with pen in paper. you know the one you see in movies or sth. to my fren. the one i ghosted. bc i felt a bit better. and i saw in her update on ig as i randomly after a long time of inactivity i saw she was very much struggling with her uni and life. and i wasnt there. but i wasnt yet ready. or rather i already went so deep i didnt know how to speak again. so i wrote a letter to her. i know i tend to over you i's and me's and all when i talk. so i prioritised in there to onlt speak of her. to encourage, to give her a bit of reassuring. i am so bad with words. it must have been terrible letter. on one hand i hope she burned it bc it was awful. but on the other. i hope it means to her. bc she means a lot to me!

i gave her the letter with a bit of hmmmmmm snacks? i dont know... few snacks, a bit of cookies i baked with very little strength that i used to bake them rather than eat for a day i believe. but. i said i gave her it? well plan was to just go to her home and just..... hang it on the fence. i wasnt ready to face her. i really wasnt. but.... something made me not hang it. i... texed her. asking is she was at home. oh gods i trembled so hard there. it was hella cold but my body was so boiling from cold sweat. i was pretty sure i was gonna collapse or run away or dunno. but she was there. she went out. saw me. and invited over. oh i was pathethic. i still am. even now reminiscing about that brings up tears. but. if i had therapist they would say it was the greatest step i could do atthat state. anyway. we had a bit of talk. i was crying all the way. but i hoped we can just ignore it and take it as a game bug xD i believe. i want to believe i helped her. somehow. just her knowing, maybe? that i care. i miss her. i do regret. but ok. she sorted out the school stuff not soon after. so i like to tell myself at least i .... didnt nailed her coffin.

there was other thing that happened in march. barely it started. i... had to bid farewell to plomyczek. some things happened. maybe my neglectence or some other reason. but he caught some nasty bacteria. and basicly blocked his nose. and hamster cant breath with mouth as humans. i run like crazy. on even less sleep and food than before. i went to 3 diff vets. gave him a lot of meds. but i was too late, he was too tired. and the source of it wasnt knows. who knows? maybe that was covid? but i decided to put him to sleep. ahd here comes more tears. oh boy. he was my sunshine. my little flame of hope. when i chaned his water i got some for myself. i gave him a apple and got some for myself.he greeted me in the evening and was by me all the worst hours of the day back then. and he left. i just hoped he never had to suffer. honestly. i only remember that rush time as a blur. i only wanted him to be safe and happy. only that matters. ..... that was very hard emotionally month for me.

april. it took me about month. to recover from grief. maybe long maybe short. i still miss plomyczek very much. i started talking with ren a bit. very, very little. but thats better than nothing. slowly i guess. but this month wasnt easy on me either. some may say its nothing. but for me it was... very difficult. i mean i got new hamster. maybe too fast. maybe not. wegielek. little coal. (i guess you can tell i have a certain system for names heh) and i believe he was a bit traumatised in a pet shop. dunno how exactly but his socialization and taming was very difficult. nonetheless i loved him immediately. he has a little temperament. and i love wim with his little trauma. i try to ease it as i can. and it works most of the time. but he still has some ticks. but i love him. so thats a happy thing to happen.

the unhappy thing is... april i know as my birthday. well mine and my bro. since hes also from april (later few days but older 3 years). i know corona and stuff was still happening barely first vaccs were given to eldest. but he still invited some frends over. then went to bar to have a drink. and... me. i.... i ofc got some wishes from fam. since they are there 24/7 right. but.... i got only one more wish from friend. and not the one that i was close with anymore. and thats it. we had a thing on that dc server where we wrote our bday dates. and we would cheer and all for each other... and somehow.... none noticed. i also spent the whole day. waiting for the one little text. from that fren. but none came in. not that day. not tomorrow. not week later. she forgot. everyone did.

but you know. one person. one anonymous on here. one person wrote me a little bday wishes as ask. and i havent replied to that yet. why? bc that alone kept me up for months now. its sincere. and i hope whoever sent it had a wonderful year and has a amazing this and next and next and next and how long they want. thank you.

and april finished. i was devastated about that birthday. i was so sad. i actually spent the next day never getting up. first time in a year. even my family felt i couldnt get up. but it passed.

i dont really remember much about may. meaning nothing too bad happended then. oh wait no. i do remember one thing. just after the end of april i twisted my ankle. and had to get some first aid or whatever its called. and i realized my insurance might be gone by now. i have never worked. i only went to school and that ended in 2020. and i actually might have to pay few hundreads for my health. (shaddup americans. this is new concept to me. let me be scared as well) turned out my uni's insurance was valid till end of may. i was safe for now. but what then? covid was raging. work was either impossible to get or i had no mental capacity to even apply let alone attend anything. so maybe another studies? course? anything. and i applied for a free school for a disabled and elderly caretaker assistant. me. a pshysicly disabled bitch with crippling depression were to learn how to take care of others. ye i know, jokes.

but i had to take whatever. and classes were online anyway and never in peson and never even knew my teacher bc all was sent in pdf's etc. but i.... learned. a bit. ye. finally after years understood how to read and understood pressure. thanks school. so that. attending these classes made my legal status again as a student. meaning my fam can connect me to their insurance and it doesnt cost like 100+zl per month but barely 6zl a month. big diff right. and i kept that status through holidays.

ah yes. holidays.

june july and august. there weren't much stuff happening again. usual. nothingness during covid times, i stayed home that time. i even had i think 2 weeks free house. home alone if you will. i havent rested in so long like back then. i felt so much better. i hadnt my family constantly on my back since they went to mountainside. i hoped i could invite some friends over but non could. i tho got invited to my friend for oh ever so divine pierogi! or rather dumplings. bc they were gyosa dumplings. but holy fuk! she made them herself and as always they were just so delicious, and she made herself the sauce and oh gods i'm hungry now. (that friend is one of admins on that dc server i mentioned) i wish i could cook something for her in return but its never goingvto be so oh sooooooo amazing and her dumplings.

this post is already hella long. but also there wasnt much great or terrible happenings. i cant pinpoint most of the events to the certain date or sth. but there was few good things - usual meeting with local art friends from around were resumed! unfortuantely on black saturday (you know us have black friday and poland has black week) so the crowds around were AWFUL. and the meet was smaller than usual also bc covid. but it was still so amazing to meet these few ppl i havent met ever since covid started.

on the other hand. my psychiatrist lets say... broke up with my case. like she straight forward told me she sees she doesnt help me anymore and i shall find a new one. which is fine i guess. i understand where she comes from. but it also felt a bit like a betrayal. but. what is importan she gave me prescription for my meds for half a year. thats good. plenty of time to fine new one. but also. somehow. i dont recall exactly when. but i.... gradually stopped taking meds since that event. and i know what some may say - its very dangerous, and i will spiral down or sth. but. BUT. i took into consideration all that. i have them on hand all the time. if i ever feel like my chin is touching the water. i have them. i can get them. but the thing is. i may not be happy yet. i may be so oh so broken still. but. its much much better than i was before.

this january. vs the one last year. i cant even comprehend anymore how i could led to that drowning. and after i stoped taking meds. and mind you its now about 4-5th month since then, i have much better controll over myself, my moods, my thoughts. my mind and body. i still will burst into tears when thinking of plomyczek, i still am zoning out and dissociating, bit also i get myself together slowly. i make some small changes to my life. very small. but before, they were impossible, i am starting again on building my portfolio to get to art school. hopefully i'll make it till june, and i finnally hoping to get myself to some therapy and doc that will tell me if i have adhd bc that shit sounds too familiar to not be a case in my too many problems xD

things arent bright yet. but they are not overwhelmingly dark and drowning as they were. in this deep black waters i think i finally found place where i can keep my head above water and feel my feet on some ground. i do hope i can get up and get better soon!

so, to everyone that ever helped me, with word, with thought, with commission, with smile or pierogi, with a hug or a funky meme, i see you and i love you a little bit. Thank you! it really means a lot to me!

#long post #personal #art in 2021 #art in review #my art #also i cant really see anything in my art that related to the events i wrote there #so this is so not correlating to each other xD #but screw that. i felt like writting this all down here. take it #ignore it. or block me xD your call.

[artzee-bee]

End of all things [1] | Chat Noir x witch!reader

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir)

Summary: Y/N had been Chat Noir’s friend and moral support for a long time now. Even though she had magical powers too, she never liked getting involved with akuma attacks, but now, as Hawkmoth’s gotten control of the miraculous of creation, she couldn’t stay indiferent anymore. She had to save her friend and Paris!

Genre: Mostly angst? A little fluff

Warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of death/dying

A/N: This was requested, but as I was writting it, it got very long and I’ve decided to post it in 2 parts. I’m not gonna post the request just now, so as to not spoil the rest of the story but Part 2 will be coming out on friday!!!

Part 2

~~~

Chat was pacing around the room, waiting for you to be done with your potion. You had heard from your parents that there had been a new akuma attack today, but as the news reported, the two parisian heros took care of the problem in no time. For this reason, Chat’s presence at your house felt unusual. Normally he would stop by when he needed to rant, when he was in need of comfort and reassurance but the fight today went well, so what could possibly be bothering him?

“Ok, I’m done” you said, screwing the cap on the little bottle and placing it on your shelf “Wanna talk?” you asked, to which Chat gave you a shy smile

“Yeah, a little”

You made your way to your bed, motioning for him to follow you. You got under your covers and passed him his favorite plushie, a cat to no one’s surprise

“So what’s up? Is it about the fight today?”

“Well no it’s more like a...personal problem?”

“Oh…”

“Claws out” in a rush of light and electricity, the infamous hero vanished before you, transforming into Adrien Agrest

“Well, what is it?” 

Adrien revealed his identity to you months ago. You first met him as Chat, but when you really got to know each other, he decided you needed to know all of him. Well, he needed you to know all of him.

You listened to him rant until way past midnight. Until you were both too tired to stand up straight, so you laid down in your bed, covers up to your necks, muffled stories told in between yawns. You listened carefully, giving him your full attention. He fidgeted with the collar of the stuffed toy and you used your magic to make 2 hot chocolates. Eventually, everything that needed to be said, was said. You offered Adrien to watch a movie, since that always cheered him up, but he refused

“It’s late and I have a photoshoot early in the morning. My makeup team will be angry with my dark circles anyways, better not make it worse” he joked

Adrien transformed back into Chat and you cast a safety spell on him, which you did every time he left your house late at night. He always teased you about being ‘too protective’, but deep down he found it sweet how much you cared and wanted to know that he would get home in one piece.

“Night Chat” you said, wrapping your arms around the hero

“Good night Y/N!”

The next few days went by quietly. You hadn’t run into Adrien at all, but you texted a bit back and forth. Sunday evening however, things took a toll for the worst. You turned on your tv, ready to catch up with your show when you heard Nadja Chamack’s voice doing the news report

“It seems as though Rena Rouge and Chat Noir are struggling to stay on their feet! They have taken shelter under a fallen bus, leaving Ladybug alone to defeat Hawkmoth'' your pulse skyrocketed. As you watched the screen you could see Chat and Rena off to the side, struggling to catch their breath. Rena seemed to be in pain while Chat was trying to help. Ladybug was using her yoyo the best she could in order to protect herself from the supervillain, who was wielding his cane like a sword over her head. The fight was clearly going in Hawkmoth's favour! You grabbed your jacket and ran out the front door and onto the empty streets of Paris, towards the Eiffel Tower, where the fight was taking place. 

People screamed at you from their balconies to go home, warning you about the fight and the danger you were putting your life in but you didn’t care. All you could think about was how they needed you. Chat needed you! Every late night talk and every inside joke shared between you two replaid in your head like a broken record. Behind Chat’s tough mask, his alter ego of hero and protector, was the fragile figure of Adrien Agreste. The young blonde boy who cried during romantic comedies, who liked to have his hair braided and forgot how to speak when someone complimented him. If you didn’t help, the heros would loose and he would most likely die! Alongside Ladybug and Rena who, even though you didn’t know their real identities, were still young girls. As you ran down the street, you heard kids crying inside one of the homes. You ran past but at the last second you heard Nadia’s voice coming from their tv

“Ladybug was akumatized”

You approached the Eiffel tower from the side, where you could see everything going on. In front of the tower, right next to Hawkmoth, stood Marinette Dupain-Cheng, dressed in a tight, dark red suit, darker than Ladybug’s. Black butterflies replaced the dots of the heroine's suit and the purple butterfly mask of Hawkmoth’s control was shining over her face. Marinette was Ladybug! She did, in fact, get akumatized. On the other side, you saw Rena and Chat, struggling to stay up right. They were obviously in a lot of pain and extremely tired, but Hawkmoth was merely mocking them.

“After all this time” Chat spoke up, but his breaths were shallow and rapid “I thought you’d know one thing about us! We don’t give up without a fight. Never will. Especially not against you” and with that, the two ran at each other.

“It doesn’t have to end like this, you know?” he said “We don’t have to fight to death. I wouldn’t want to have that on my conscience. All you have to do is give me your miraculouses willingly. The town will be safe, you will be safe! It’s the most heroic option you’ve got. You won’t be any good to Paris if you are dead”

You knew this was not just another fight between them. This was it. Either the heros won or everything they’ve worked for would be lost. Hawkmoth would win and get his hands on both miraculous and god knows what kind of destruction that would bring not only upon Paris, but the world. You focused all your energy in one spot in the air, right between where Chat and Hawkmoth were supposed to clash but before they could reach each other, you sent a wave of energy that blew both of them apart, like a bomb. Hawkmoth flew back into the Eiffel tower while Chat hit the pavement with a thud. Confused and certainly disturbed, both of them began looking around for an answer as to what happened when, finally, Hawkmoth’s eyes landed on yours.

“Aha, miss Y/L/N. What a spectacular honor to finally meet you!” you didn’t reply, instead you stood tall, maintaining eye contact

“I know a lot about you. Seen a lot. Felt a lot of your emotions. None of them can compare to the powers I’ll have with the two miraculouses. With Ladybug’s earrings and the guardian under my control, I’d say my mission here is almost over’’

“Y/N get back!’’ Chat screamed but you were too involved now to run. This was your fight too.

“It is time you give up Hawkmoth. Paris is not yours, neither are the miraculouses. We will destroy you, no matter what it takes!”

“Listen to yourself, kid! <<Destroy me>>? The most you can do is pull a rabbit out of your hat…” before he could finish his sentence, you snapped your fingers in his direction and instantly, the ground around beneath Hawkmoth and akumatized Marinette, fractured. From within the cracks, many tangled plants came out, encapsulating the 2 villains. You sprinted towards Chat and Rena, ignoring the signs of struggle coming from the prison of weeds.

 Alongside the two superheros, you hid inside a corner coffee shop, which was now empty.

“Y/N, you need to leave!! You are putting yourself in too much danger!” Rena told you, as she collapsed to the ground from exhaustion

“Stop with that already! I am here and I’m not going anywhere!”

“Yes you are!” Chat looked at you. His voice was calm and yet, his eyes were filled with disappointment “You are not a superhero. This is our job!”

“You need help”

“No we don’t!” Chat had never, in all your years of friendship, raised his voice at you, let alone yell “ You need to stay safe! You could die! Hawkmoth doesn’t care about anything if it helps him get what he wants! I am ready to take that risk. Rena is too” you both turned to the red headed hero, only to see her slowly nod “But I can’t allow you to take it”

“You can’t tell me what to do”

“I don’t want you to die!” he screamed again “I love you and I will never forgive myself if you don’t come out of this alive!”

Before you could say anything, you saw Hawkmoth and his minion, through the cafe window, cutting through the last of the plants and escaping your trap. You grabbed Chat’s arm and pulled him to the floor, from where you could not be seen

“We’re in this together now” you said in a stern voice, looking the blonde kid right in his eyes “Whether you like it or not '' this time, he simply nodded.

You stuffed your hands into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out 3 little bottles, containing a mate, green liquid. You had prepared one for each of the heros, now you’d only need two.

“Here, drink this!” You handed each of them one “Regeneration potion. Should put you back on your feet.” as soon as they finished drinking the brew, you could see color coming back to their faces

“Where’s Marinette’s akuma??” 

“Her necklace” replied Rena “It’s a gift from her kwami”

“Got it. You deal with Hawkmoth. I’ll bring Marinette back!”

Chat and Rena exited through the front door, grabbing Hawkmoth’s attention. He called out to Marinette to attack, but before she could take a single step in your direction, you had snuck up behind her. Using a simple invisibility spell, you managed to exit unnoticed behind the two heros. It finally felt like the fight had truly begun. From the corner of your eye you could see Chat and Rena doging Hawkmoth’s attacks while you, were doing your best to get your hands on the stupid necklace! Even though she couldn’t see you, Marinette seemed to almost always know what your next move was. She would expertly block all your attack and would keep you an arm’s length away at all times. Finally, you had enough and in one swift motion, you pinned her back to your chest, ripping the necklace away. A wave of black and purple took over the both of you and when it vanished, all you were left with was a half unconscious Marinette in your arms. You dropped her to the ground slowly as she was coming back to her senses. You wanted to talk to her but your thoughts were driven away as you heard Chat scream bloody murder.

On the opposite side of the platza, you saw Hawkmoth rip Chat’s ring off his finger, forcing him to detransform. The exhausted figure of Adrien Agreste fell to the ground with a thud. Hawkmoth had, indeed, gotten his hand on both the miraculouses.

#miraculous ladybug #mlb #mlb x reader #adrien agreste #adrien agreste x reader #adrien agreste fluff #adrien agreste imagine #adrien agreste angst #chat noir #chat noir x reader #chat noir fluff #chat noir imagine #chat noir angst #rena rogue #marinette dupain cheng #ml ladybug

[chaotic-neutral-fanfics]

Tummy Ache

Osamu x FemReader x Atsumu

Warnings: Force feeding, Implied kidnapping, Yandere behavior, Brief use of restraints, Use of the pet name princess, Slight dumbification, Mentions of sedative use, Tummy rubs.  

Word Count: 1.5k     

Osamu just can’t help but want to make sure you’re well fed, even if this means that he has to hand feed you himself. However, he may just go a little to far causing you to run to his twin for comfort. 

Osamu hummed to himself quietly as put together the dish of onigiri he intended to bring you. He had made these one’s fresh and just for you after he closed his shop, and he couldn’t wait to see your face as you ate it. He made his way to the bedroom where he had left you, to find you handcuffed to the bed just the way he left you. You had been going through a bit of a rebellious phase, so Atsumu and he decided to go back to using physical restraints until you got through your mood. He closed the door behind him and made his way over to the bed noticing that you were still asleep, he decided to not turn on the lights quiet yet. He and Atsumu had found that one of the best ways to make sure you wouldn’t misbehave while either of them was at work was to have you be asleep. Osamu set the plate down on the nightstand before turning off the camera that they kept set up for when they were out so that they could monitor you. 

   Once he had done that he turned on the lights and then sat down on the edge of the bed. You squirmed a little as the light hit your eyes and he chuckled. You looked so cute when you were asleep. He gently brushed the hair out of your face before whispering, 

“It’s time to wake up princess, I brought you dinner.” You groaned in response, not wanting to open your eyes. 

“Now, now” he scolded, “you wouldn’t want the food to get cold.” You moved your one free hand to rub your eyes, slowly opening them before focusing on Osamu. You pushed yourself up to a sitting position before yawning and blinking a few times, still trying to clear all of the sleep from them. Osamu knew that the sedative they used took a while to wear off, so you would be a little groggy for a few more minutes. He took the opportunity to take to the plate off the nightstand and place it on your lap.

“Eat up” he beamed. You looked down at the four, pretty big onigiri on the plate. Did he really expect you to eat all this?  

“I’m not hungry” you grumbled. He pouted 

“Of course you are,” he retorted “You haven’t eaten since breakfast.” He was right, you hadn’t had anything to eat since the omelet he had made you this morning. You pouted a bit before you reached down to pick up the rice ball, only to have your restrained hand stop halfway. Osamu paused before asking, 

“You promise not to misbehave if I unlock the cuff?” You nodded vigorously, eager to free your aching wrist. He took the key out of his pocket and freed you. You quickly pulled your writs to your chest and rubbed the tender skin. 

“Now eat.” He commanded. You picked up the first onigiri and cautiously took a bite. It was delicious, not that you were expecting any less from Osamu’s cooking. That had been one of the only good things about your situation. You felt awkward just eating in silence with Osamu intently watching. You had just finished the first rice ball when you heard the door open. Atsumu was home from practice. 

“We’re in the bedroom” Osamu called out, and you heard Atsumu’s footsteps getting closer before he opened the door and stepped into the room. He was still a little sweaty from practice and his bag was slung over his shoulder.

“I’m just giving her dinner now,” Osamu informs him as if you weren’t even there. Atsumu nodded in approval.

“I already ate” he explained “I’m gonna take a shower now because I skipped taking one at the gym to make sure I got home quicker.” He started to undress as he finished his sentence, leaving himself in only his boxers before walking into the bathroom connected to the bedroom. You stared at the closed door until Osamu brought you back to the task at hand. 

“Don’t get distracted now,” Osamu piped. You sighed before picking up the second onigiri and biting into it. You got about halfway through this one when you felt full. You set it back down on the plate and looked up at Osamu.

“I’m full” you declared, “Thank you for the food.” Osamu looked down at your very much unfinished plate before looking back up to you a frown making its way to his face. 

“You barley ate anything, how could you be full?” he asked, his words sounded almost accusatory. 

“I don’t know” you retorted, “I’ve just eaten enough apparently, so I’m full.” You looked at him unsure of what else to say, you really didn’t know what he wanted to hear. 

“I don’t believe you” he stated. You were shock, did he really just say that? Before you could ask, he continued,

“I don’t believe your full. I think that you can still eat more.” upon finishing his accusation he picked up your half eaten rice ball and brought it to your lips. You took it from his hands and scowled before proceeded to take a huge bite. You continued to scowl as you finished the rest of the onigiri.

“There” you stated “I finished it.” You looked at him expectantly, hoping that was all you had to do. He paused, obviously in thought before saying, 

“I don’t think you’ve had enough” You wanted to smack him right there and then but before you could move he had pulled you onto his lap and pressed the tird onigiri to you mouth. When you didn’t open up to take a mouthful Osamu pressed his thumb against your bottom lip, carefully opening your mouth and pushing the food into your mouth. You instinctively bit down and stared chewing. 

“That’s my girl” he cooed, continuing to feed you the onigiri. By the time you had finished the third, your stomach ached, so when he lifted the forth one to your mouth you tried to wiggle off of his lap. 

“I can’t eat another bit” you whined “My stomach hurts so bad.” He just shook his head and started feeding you the last rice ball. 

“It’s my job to make sure that your eating properly, and I wouldn't’ be doing that if I let you stop now.” he explained. You felt tears pooling in your eyes as the tightness in your belly only grew. Osamu praised you as you finished the very last bite, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and wiping few stray bits of rice from your face. 

“I knew you could do it princess” he chuckled rubbing you lower back. It was then that Atsumu walked out of the bathroom. 

“She’s done eating,” Osamu told him “Do you mind watching her while I do the dishes?” 

“Of course not Samu, she’s my princess too ya know.” Atsumu sang. Osamu rolled his eyes before gently scooting you off of his lap. You groaned at the movement, placing your hands on your tummy. Osamu placed on last kiss on your lips before taking the plate and heading out of the bedroom to take care of the dishes. Atsumu threw on a pair off sweat pants before turning to face you. You were still sitting on the bed just where Osamu had left you, your face screwed up in discomfort. Atsumu smirked a little as he made his way over to you, sitting down next to you on the bed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you against him. You hiccupped as you hit his side and he looked down at you to see you had one hand on you belly, and the other covering your mouth as you continued to hiccup. 

“Seems like Osamu over did it a bit” he laughed as he rubbed your back. You nodded lightly as your hiccups finally ceased. 

“Here” Atsumu said as he moved to sit back against the headboard, patting the space next to him. You paused for a moment, you hated hoe compliant you were being right now, but you gave into your desire to seek comfort in his arms. You whimpered a  little as you moved, but fought through pain and made your way to Atsumu’s side, laying your head on his chest. 

“Alright princess” he comforted, “It’s your tummy that hurts right?” you nodded and nuzzled closer into his chest. He chuckled at you action and proceed to roll up you shirt and reveal your slightly distended belly. 

“Damn” he commented “Samu really did go overboard. Well, no need to worry, I’m here now.” A cheeky grin made it’s way onto his face as he started to slowly rub your belly. You whimpered at first, but as he continued his ministrations you relaxed into his touch, your belly feeling a bit better. 

“Thank you Atsumu” you mumbled quietly. Atsumu’s grin only grew wider, maybe he would have to get Osamu to over feed you more often, he like how cute you looked clinging onto him for comfort.

#cw sedative #cw force feeding #cw yandere #cw tummy #cw implied kidnapping #haikyu x reader #miya osamu #miya atsumu #osamu x reader #atsumu x reader #miya osamu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #haikyu yandere #yandere haikyuu #yandere miya atsumu #yandere miya osamu #osamu x reader x atsumu #cw slight poly relationship

[ohgodmyeyes]

Hot Wax (Like A Band-Aid)

Luke Skywalker x Reader, 2k words. Modern AU? Mature, but no sex.

Summary: Your infallibly sweet husband, Luke, helps you wax your pussy because you’re too pregnant to do it yourself.

...

"I— um, I'm not sure about this anymore. This stuff is hot."

"Come on, Luke! You promised you'd help!"

Luke looked up at you from between your legs, desperation writ on his face. He had to peek around your belly to do it— you were about eight months pregnant right now, which was why you'd enlisted his help with this in the first place. He might have been nervous, but you weren't about to let him back out now... especially given the fact that it was his baby whose steady growth was preventing you from performing your usual hair-removal ritual.

"I just— I mean, I don't want to hurt you. And anyway, you know I don't care whether or not you—"

"I care," you interrupted him, from your spot on the living room couch. "I like how it feels with no hair down there, and anyway, you've already trimmed everything down to the right length— you don't want to quit with the job only half-finished, do you?" Appealing to Luke's sense of duty, you thought, was the most effective way to get him to do something he didn't really want to do.

"Trimming it was easy," he mumbled, seemingly to himself, as he peered back between your legs as if to examine his own work. "This seems... I don't know, dangerous." He paused. "...You didn't really used to do this by yourself, did you?"

"Of course I used to do it by myself," you told him. You weren't crazy about the idea of a stranger removing the hair from your vulva; you'd always shaved or waxed it yourself. Now that you couldn't see the area in question well enough to perform the task, Luke was the next best option— whether he thought he was or not. "Now, hurry up and start putting it on before it gets too cool. The sooner you get to it, the sooner it'll be over."

Luke sighed in defeat. He was sweet, you thought— sometimes almost too sweet. When you'd told him you needed help with something, he'd agreed right away, before even asking what it was you needed him to do. He was probably thinking, now, that he'd made a mistake; however, you knew that with the right amount of reassurance, he'd do a fine job of grooming your pussy. Luke was good at nearly everything he tried, and you were sure this would be no exception.

"...Alright," he conceded. "Alright, fine. But if I screw up, you're not allowed to get mad, okay?"

"You won't screw up! You'll do just fine." You spread your legs as widely as you could, and went on to instruct him, "Just gather some of the wax up on the little stick, and spread it into a line wherever you want to start. Leave it for a minute or two, and once it's hard enough that it makes a noise when you tap it with your fingernail, it's ready to be pulled off."

"Won't that hurt?" he asked, the concern in his voice coming through loud and clear.

"Of course it'll hurt, but only for a second."

"What if you yell? What if there's blood? ...Wait, this can't hurt the baby, can it?"

"I might yell, but there won't be any blood," you told him. "And no, there's no way this can hurt the baby." You placed a hand gently upon your stomach and smiled. "I think she's asleep right now, anyway," you added. "She won't even notice."

He laughed despite himself. "Still think it's a girl, huh?"

You hadn't opted to find out the sex of your baby; you'd both agreed a surprise was a lot more fun. You had a feeling you were carrying a girl, although Luke happened to disagree.

"I do," you said. "It's just a feeling I have, though— we'll find out soon enough."

"I still can't believe you're doing this for us," he said, peeking around your belly and back up at you one more time. "You're going to be a fantastic mom, you know."

"I'm glad you think so... but you wanna know what I think?"

"What?" he asked, flashing you one of his loveliest smiles.

"I think you're going to be a fantastic esthetician. As long as you don't let the wax get too cold."

"Okay, okay! You just want me to start, then?"

"That's exactly what I want."

He shook his head and sighed again, but that sweet smile didn't leave his face. "Okay. I'm going to start at the bottom, and work my way up. Does that sound alright?"

"Sounds fine to me, Luke. Don't worry, it'll be over in no time."

He went to work, after that— just like he said he would, he started at the bottom, with what felt like an appropriately-thin strip of wax in just the right position. He was quiet while he waited for it to harden, and so were you. Your hand stayed on your belly; the baby still seemed to be asleep.

Luke was going to be a wonderful dad, you thought absently as you waited for that first strip to cool— he'd proven to you over and over throughout the course of your relationship that he was willing to do just about anything for the people he loved. Waxing your pussy was just the most recent manifestation of that willingness, and you appreciated it... especially considering that he didn't care whether you were fuzzy down there or not.

"Okay," he said, after a couple of minutes had passed. "I think it's ready. What do I do now?"

"Can you tap it with your fingernail?" you asked, just to confirm that it was, in fact, time to pull it off.

"Yeah, I can. Do I just... pull?"

"Hold the skin right below the edge of the wax so it's super-tight, and then rip it off as fast as you can."

"'Rip it off'?"

"Yep— just like a band-aid."

You heard him take a deep breath, and then he did exactly as you had told him: He held your skin tight with his fingertip, and proceeded to wrench the strip of wax right off of you. You shrieked, partly because you weren't the one doing it; partly, too, because it stung. It would have stung no matter who'd been doing it.

"I'm sorry!" he said. "Are you alright? I didn't mean to—"

"I'm fine," you laughed. "Actually, it felt exactly the way it's supposed to. How does it look?"

"Like your pussy has a bald spot."

"Well, then you'd better get started on the rest."

Having taken on a more serious expression (Luke always looked quite serious when he was hard at work on something), he glanced up at you, nodded, and went on to complete the task of rendering your pubic area perfectly smooth.

You didn't speak anymore so as not to distract him; he didn't say anything else either, except to confirm, periodically, that you were still alright. Every time you squeaked or squealed or otherwise showed even the slightest hint of discomfort, he looked up at you with concern; however, he didn't deviate from his task. By the time he'd worked his way up to the spot just beneath where your belly bulged out, he seemed as though he'd grown quite comfortable with the process.

"Looks like I'm just about done," he said, as he spread one last strip across your mound. "How do you feel?"

"A lot better," you answered, and that was the truth. Not being able to do this job for yourself happened to be one of your least favourite parts of being heavily pregnant. It was worth it, of course; you'd always wanted a family with Luke... but carrying a child did come with its fair share of frustrations and inconveniences. You were glad to have someone like him, who was willing to help you with whatever you needed, whenever you needed it.

Luke, you mused, was an infallibly sweet man— you'd always considered yourself very lucky to have him, and the fact that he was willing to do this for you only served to drive that point home.

By the time you'd finished contemplating how wonderful he was, he'd warned you that he was about to pull off the final wax strip. You told him to go right ahead, and so he did— and with one final pinch (and shriek), the task was complete.

"You have a pretty pussy," he said admiringly, running a finger along the edge of your outer labia. You looked around your belly and at his face; he was smiling again. It made you smile, too.

"Only thanks to you," you said. "I can't tell you how much it means to me that you helped me with that— it was driving me nuts."

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be," he admitted. "I just didn't want to hurt you— you, or the baby."

"You didn't," you said, heaving yourself back up into a seated position (Luke, being the gentleman that he was, helped you by taking your hand and giving it a gentle tug as you did). "We're both just fine. Although I do think I might have woken her up with all my yelling."

"She— I mean he— woke up? How do you know?" He got to his feet, and then sat down beside you on the couch, eyes trained on your stomach.

You gave him a look, and took his wrist in your hand. "She's kicking," you told him. "Right about... here." You placed his palm on the upper part of your belly, just a few inches above your navel. You couldn't actually tell if the baby was kicking or punching right now, but she was certainly doing something, and you had no doubt that her father would want to feel it, too.

He waited a few moments, staring curiously at his own hand. Then, all of a sudden, a broad smile completely overtook his features.

"Feel that?" you asked, with a grin of your own.

"Yeah— yeah, I did feel it!"

"Strong, isn't she?"

He appeared to think for a moment. "...Maybe you're right," he said. "Maybe it is a girl."

"What makes you say that?"

"All the strongest people I know are girls. You, my sister— my mom, too, from what my dad always tells me." He took his hand off your belly then, and leaned in closely to offer you a kiss. "Do you know how proud I'll be if our baby turns out to be even half the person you are?"

You looked into his eyes, which were absolutely brimming with love. Yes, you thought— you really were very lucky to have somebody like Luke to share your life with.

"Whether it's a boy or a girl," you said to him, "I hope they turn out to be just like you— kind and loving, and always willing to help anyone who needs them... even if the thing they need help with is kind of awkward." Like pussy-waxing, you thought. "You know that's why I fell in love with you in the first place, right?"

He blushed, which he'd always been prone to doing. "You're too nice to me," he said. "I just didn't want to hurt you— I wasn't going to tell you I couldn't do it without at least trying first."

"That's why you're a perfect husband, Luke... and it's why you're going to be a perfect dad, too."

You put your arms around him after that, and drew him in as closely as you could to give him a tight squeeze. He hugged you back, and went on to whisper something into your ear... something about heading to the bedroom, for the purpose of more thoroughly checking his work.

With a giggle, you nodded emphatically, and watched as he stood up. Once he'd deftly helped you to your feet, you sauntered off together hand-in-hand, down the hallway and in the direction of your favourite place to spend time together.

All of your 'spending time' together might have been the very reason you couldn't wax your own pussy today... however, not being able to see between your own legs for a few months was a tiny sacrifice, given all of the wonderful things that came with being tied to somebody as kind and generous as Luke.

#luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x y/n #fanfic #star wars #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnant reader #pussy wax #waxing

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Start of forever.

This was requested by @ben-c-group-therapy who requested this, to follow on from these:

Different this time

Late morning

<Thank you again for the amazing Nick fic! Ugh the proposal is just perfect 😭❤️🥰. So I’d love to see Nick and readers engagement party and some hot after party smut! Like hot hot, reader wouldn’t have a clue Nick could do those things kinda hot! Lol. You’re perfect thank you!>

I hope this is what you were looking for and your happy with it. Thank you to @detective-giggles for giving me the idea and @beccabarba for reading over it for me.

Warnings: temperature play with wax with yummy Nick smut.

WC:  1737

Enjoy x

Nick had done it all before, but he hadn’t done it with you. Although you were happy for a low-key thing, he wanted to give you more and he was excited to plan an engagement and wedding with you. Once you were back in Manhattan, your parents had his mum over for dinner and you spoke to them all about having the engagement party in Manhattan and getting married in Nashville, which was Nick’s idea. He wanted to marry you by the lake and have the reception at your grandparents, which your grandparents agreed with as soon as you and Nick spoke to them about it. You didn’t want a long engagement, wanting to get married the following summer. So, it left you with planning an engagement party in a month and a wedding in 5, plus finding an apartment.

You had both decided on a rooftop party at a hotel across from central park and you hired a room for the night so you didn’t have far to get home, your families coming into town staying there as well as your parents, Zara and Gil also staying with Nick’s mum and sister there the night. Nick didn’t see you before the party, Amanda having a hair and makeup come to your parents room to get you ready for the night. Nick had gone up to the roof for some last-minute touches waiting for you up there.

You pushed the up button and when the doors opened you came face to face with Rafael, Sonny and Fin. You stepped in they all hugging you hello, telling you how beautiful you looked and how happy they were for you both. When the lift arrived and the doors opened, your mouth dropped open when you stepped out seeing how it was all set up with fairy lights, white soft linen on the tables and mason jars filled with baby’s breath scattered everywhere. Nick’s heart soared when he saw you walking towards him in your white boho flowy dress, your hair curled and your make-up just enough. The same feeling sweeping over you when you laid eyes on Nick with his light grey suit and white button down, no tie, first few buttons undone and smelling amazing.

Nick had a smile on his face the entire night, you not much better. It was just after midnight when you walked back into your room hand in hand,

“I still have to give you my engagement present” you purred as your hands rested on his chest.

“Oh yeah” Nick smirked down at you, his hands going to your middle “I still have to give you mine” Nick peaked your lips.

“Give me 10 minutes” you smiled into his lips before turning and walked into the bathroom closing the door.

You slipped out of your dress and underwear, quickly showered, rubbed on some vanilla shimmer body lotion and pulled on your red lace push up bra and matching thong. You fluffed up your hair and replied some gloss before you walked back out into the room. When you walked out, you frowned your brows at the dark room, just the bed side lights on, a small candle lit on the bed side table and Nick sitting on the edge of the bed in just his dress pants. He’s eyes fell out of his head when he saw you and he licked his lips,

“You look amazing” he muttered.

“What’s that?” you nodded towards the candle.

Nick stood up off the bed and walked over to you grabbing your hand and pulling you into him, your chests against his and his other hand came down to your behind, his warm hand resting on your plump skin,

“I love you more than anything. Tonight, was one of the important nights so far and I want to make you feel as amazing as you make me feel. Do you trust me?”

“You know I do”

Nick grinned, dipping his head to catch your lips, the kiss hungry and deep, both his hands running up your back to unclip your bra at the back and he slipped it off you,

“Our word is Moonshine. If it hurts, you don’t feel good, you don’t like it, you want me to stop, you say that word and everything stops” you nodded back, heat sweeping through you mixed with excitement at what was to come.

“Yes”

“Good girl” Nick brushed your cheek with the back of his pointer finger “I have done this before it's a special candle, but like I said you don’t like it, say the word and I’ll stop”

“Yes” you squeaked out.

“On the bed on your back, please baby”

You nodded and got on the bed like Nick asked you. You moaned slightly when you felt his hands run up your legs, hook onto the waist of your panties and he pulled them down and off. You moaned again when you felt Nick get on top of you, his legs either side of you as he kissed up your body,

“You smell delicious, Y/N” Nick kissed up to your ear “Good enough to eat”

Nick reached over grabbing the small bottle of body oil, popping the lid and pouring some on his hands. He threw the now closed bottle next to you on the bed, rubbed his hands together before they came to your breasts. Nick rubbed his hands around them coating them in oil and then ran his hands down over your belly, also covering it in oil while you squirmed under his touch.    

“This should be ready now” Nick moved to pick the candle up off the bedside table and back to sit over you. Nick grabbed your arm and flipped it so your writs was exposed to him “I’ am going to pour some here, to make sure you’re comfortable with it”

“Yes, please”

Nick smirked down at you, holding the candle a safe distance from your skin, tipping the candle up and you watched as the wax dropped out and landed on your skin. You bit your bottom lip and your eyes closed when you felt the slightly warm wax land on your skin, loving the feeling that washed over you when it did,

“Did you like that?”

“So much” you whimpered

Nick grinned wide, carefully moving off you to rest at your side, his free hand brushing down from your neck to the top of your core. Nick slowly let his hand go between your legs and he brushed his fingers through your wet folds at the same time he tipped the candle up again just above your belly button, dripping it up to below your breasts. The feeling of the warm wax when Nick’s finger tips brush over your needy pearl almost made you come undone and Nick could tell by the noises you were making how much you were enjoying it. You looked up Nick’s hooded eye lids,

“More, please” you moaned out.

Nick didn’t need to be asked twice, two of his fingers pushed into you, your warm wet centre welcoming him, and he started to pushed them deep into you hitting your sweet spot, while he held the candle over your left breast, slowly tipping the candle up again pouring it around your nipple. You arched your back at the warm feeling around one of your most sensitive areas moaning loud, your hands balling the blanket into your hands,

“Such a good girl for me” Nick’s voice was deep with lust watching you come undone.

His fingers drove into you faster, his thumb rolling your clit and he pouring the warm wax over your body, taking notice of how you reacted each time. Nick could feel your walls gripping his digits and your knuckles were white gripping the sheets,

“Nick, I’ am-I” you panted out.

You didn’t get a chance to finish your sentence before you came hard around Nick’s fingers at the same time you felt him pour more wax around your other nipple. The release one of the most intense you ever had. You were barely down from you high when you felt Nick move away from you to the end of the bed. The candle was blown out and Nick was pushing off his pants and boxers, his long hard cock standing tall. Nick jumped back on the bed, flipping you onto your tummy, grabbing your hips pulling them up, you moving to rest on your palms and he slid into you in one go,

“So pretty when I make you come undone” Nick grunted out slamming into you.

His hands where gripping your hips firmly, when you felt one slide up your back and into you hair. Nick screwed your hair into his fist and he pulled you straight up so your back was too his chest. Nick rested back on his haunches, pulling you back with him, his hand in your hair going around your throat gently and his other reaching down to your clit again, two of his fingers playing with it while he thrusted up into you. The room was filled with skin slapping skin, Nick’s grunts and your moans. Your head fell back on his shoulder and your hand reached around to the back of his head, tugging on his hair and your other went up to massage your breast.

“I love you” you moaned out.

“I love you too, baby” Nick panted in your ear.

Your mouth dropped open and your legs started to tremble, your whole body catching on fire as your orgasms raged through you, covering your body in sweat, Nick hushing you in your ear with how load you were moaning his name. Nick rode you through the feeling till you relaxed back into him before he pushed you forward onto your chest, thrusting into you hard. He stilled, your name roaring from his lips as he painted your inner walls. Nick moved his hips back to pull out you and he dropped onto his back panting trying to catch his breath. You rolled over to face him, kissing over his chest, his fingers brushing up your back,

“You’ve been holding out on me Detective” you muttered into his chest between kisses.

Nick chuckled “It’s a special night baby. Glad you enjoyed it”

“What else do you have in your bag of tricks?”

“Guess you’ll have to marry me to find out”  

 Tags: @alwaysachorusgirl​ @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo​

#nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro x you #nick amaro smut #detective nicolas amaro #detective nick amaro #law and order svu #SVU fanfiction #SVU FANDOM #svu fan #svu x reader

[atsunflower]

Hospital for souls — Tokyo nights.

Rated: SFW

Author note: Man, this one took me ages to write. And I don't even know how I could write this much for the second chapter, this is about 3,2k words. I'm tired because I decided to change lots of things in this chapter and I hope you all like it. Also, feedbacks are much appreciated!

Warnings: This chapter contains cursing, swearing, graphic descriptions of blood, violence and surgical procedures (Kind of inaccurate but only for writting purposes. Don't do it at home, kids). Also, there are slight mentions of anxiety, OCD and PTSD.

Enjoy the reading!

II — Tokyo nights

Previous || Next

You felt anxious.

Everytime you walked through Itachiyama halls, the hairs in your nape would stand and your skin, prickle in fear; a bitter taste would take over your mouth because everything was too much.

"Look, you don't have to worry. Itachiyama wouldn't dare to lay a hand on you because it would mean war." The memory of Suna's voice did nothing to soothe your nerves.

You knew that Inarizaki did not care. If anything, Itachiyama harming you would be like killing two birds with a stone: the Miya would get rid of your existence and then, have a excuse to go after your husband. "They know the twins' intentions, you know. It's not like Sakusa is dumb. Being honest, the guy is the most cautious man I ever saw" you recalled Suna saying it in your wedding's eve.

But one month after the deal, you still felt suffocated.

You opted to lay low and don't wander around the house; Sakusa's men were still suspicious of you and kept sending nasty glares in your direction whenever they saw you.

Since you weren't allowed to work anymore, boredom was killing you. At least, the maids were nice enough — or just too afraid to go against the lady's will — and let you do as you pleased. You then took over some house chores to busy yourself.

Cleaning, tidying and baking.

Sometimes gardening when you needed some fresh air.

"What a shame for Oyabun-sama, his lady is lowering herself to the peasants' level" you would hear some gossip here and there. Not that you cared, though.

"Sakusa-sama" you heard the housekeeper calling, the new name still foreign to your ears.

"Kaede-san? Do you need something?" The old woman wearing a green hakama stood in front of you, accompanied by a girl with dark blond hair.

"This is Kuribayashi Runa, the new maid working here" she said presenting the young woman by her side. The latter politely bowed at you.

"New maid? Why?"

"I'm afraid it's not appropriated the lady take care of house chores. These are strict orders from Komori-sama" her tone was dry. Kaede was never hostile towards you, but you could tell she wasn't fond of your presence either. "Also, remember you're having lunch with oyabun-sama today"

You released a shaky breath, dismissing their presence.

Why yakuza was taking even the smallest things from you?

Prying to the clock on the nightstand, you realized it was past noon and the lunch hasn't been served yet. Sakusa didn't show up either.

After being destitute of your duties, you went for a shower and killed time by reading in your bedroom.

Did something happen? You wondered.

Punctuality was something very fancied in this household and everything inside the mansion functioned like clockwork.

But how come Sakusa didn't show up yet? Why the food isn't set?

"[Name]" The door to your bedroom was open without ceremony, Komori's voice sounding harsh when he called you. The look on his face wasn't amicable either. "Sakusa wants to see you. Now."

The brown haired male did not spare you another glance, turning his back to you. You followed the tall man in an auto-pilot mode, already dreading whatever was going on.

The Kobun was taking you to Sakusa's office.

The large doors always made you feel unsettled; you never were there before. Being called to this room sent shivers down your spine.

Komori knocked the door only to the faint voice of your husband acknowledge your presence. Getting in, you were stunned. The whole mansion held a modern architecture with a minimalist design, and this room was true to Itachiyama's style.

The walls were pristine white and the floorboards were dark and shiny. The furniture held the impersonal style your husband seemed to appreciate and was clean to the eyes. Everything millimetrically positioned, aesthetically appealing.

By the glass wall, Sakusa stood proud. His back facing you, body clad in a black suit. The way he admired the stunning land through the windows held a power you never saw before.

Right now, he looked like a god rulling his own creation.

"Komori, go" his stone cold voice ordered the other male. The kobun did as he was told, leaving you two in this sinister room.

"I don't know if you are too brave ou just too dumb" he didn't turn to face you. The cold tone boomed loud within your ears and you felt cornered.

Forget the god thing. The man in front of you was the demon himself.

"What do you mean?" You asked, brows furrowing when suddenly, his enraged features loomed over you, even from afar.

"Don't fucking play dumb. I've warned you to stay out of my way" his menacing stare made the breath hitch in your throat "Where is the fucking folder?"

"I don't know what are you talking about!" You meekly replied, seeing his body growing close to yours.

"Thats it. You have a death wish." He merely stated "You're the only enemy inside this fucking house"

Without knowing what was going on, you didn't stand a chance to defend yourself. You tried opening your mouth in protest but your brain didn't come up with anything.

"Listen. I don't have the time to play whatever game you and those brothers of yours are planning." Sakusa scowled "In the first opportunity, you get to screw up. Fascinating."

"I don't even know what you're talking about" the cry left your mouth and your body trembled. The man before you grimaced at your outburst. He let out an exasperated breath, still trying to keep his cool.

"Do you expect me to believe you? Fine, I'll play along, then" He sat at the imposing chair behind his desk "The manila folder that was on this desk was stolen. You're the only one inside this house who has reasons to take it."

"It wasn't me! I never entered this room before!" You retorted, anxiety crawling in your skin. He fished his cellphone from his pockets, reading whatever on his screen

"Can't be proven, though it looks like we didn't find anything in your stuff–"

"Wait! You fucking messed with my things?" You cut him off in rage, observing him reaching over for a flask on the wooden surface.

"Well, you messed with mine first." He said while rubbing some hand sanitizer on his palms.

You rolled your eyes at his antics.

"Whatever" and then turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" The sarcastic voice filled your ears, making your steps to halt "As much as I despise it, you won't be out of my sight anytime soon"

God, You trully hated it here.

It was nighttime and true to his words, neither Sakusa nor Komori left you alone for the whole day.

Their presence was unnerving, to say the least, and everytime they talked to each other, you body went stiff.

Their speech wasn't explicit as you thought it would be. Both of them treated the matter as if they were making normal business instead of some yakuza stuff.

It didn't sound violent.

But you knew better.

"Have Fukuroudani made contact yet?" The Oyabun asked.

"Yes. Konoha told me they will be waiting by eleven" Komori peered at his watch "One hour to go. We should get going, then"

Sakusa turned his attention to you.

"Go get changed. We're leaving in ten minutes."

You did as you were told; black would do, you decided. Grabbing a wool coat and a satin scarf, you were ready to go.

Why the hell Tokyo nights were so cold at this time of year?

In the living room, Sakusa and Komori were waiting for you.

"Man, bringing [Name] along will be a pain" the brown haired male said while stretching.

"The stolen docs were about this meeting. We gotta bring her along if Inarizaki tries to do something" The taller one reasoned.

"Ah shit, this is so fucked up. I dont know how you agreed to it" Komori lamented.

Being honest, neither Sakusa did.

"Why do I have to tag along?" Your voice startled them. Your husband scowled at you while Komori opened the front door, both males ignoring your question.

A sleek black car was waiting for you three. Komori took the driver seat and Sakusa sat on passenger's side. You found comfort in the beige leather of the backseat, appreciating the warmth provided by the air conditioned.

"Shouldn't we bring more men with us?" The Kobun asked.

"There's a back up car in downtown. They can reach us in no time if something comes up" Sakusa said while covering his face with a mask "Also, I doubt someone would dare to mess with both Fukurodani and Itachiyama" He spared a glance at you through the rearview mirror.

You sighed. Anxiety didn't let you be for the whole day and now, fear was taking its toll on you.

With your temple resting on the window, you observed the city lights.

You loved Tokyo and how bright it was, although, you loved the suburbs even more; the industrial aesthetic and the narrow streets brought you the comfort you didn't feel in the last three months.

You lived here for your whole life, after all.

It wasn't a surprise when you spotted the building you used to live in.

A surge of homesickness found its place in your guts and your chest constricted in longing.

The drive lasted five more minutes before Komori parked the car by a hangar. When you lived in this neighbourhood, the place was deem abandoned with its vandalized walls and rusty gates. But inside there, you found our the interior was really neat, proving you wrong.

"Sakusa-san, Komori-san!" A blonde male came into view, eyeing you with wariness. "I see you brought your lady tonight. It's a pleasure having you here, miss" the indifferent tone of his voice said otherwise, tough.

You merely noded at him while the heads of Itachiyama greeted the man.

"Shall we start, then?"The blond asked before opening a door to your right. You felt unsettled knowing they wouldn't want your presence there.

"As you wish, Konoha-san" was all Sakusa said while a woman appeared out of nowhere.

"I'm afraid your wife would be pretty bored in our meeting. Yukie here will keep her company for the time being." The man Konoha pointed at the brunette with short hair. Sakusa sent you a hard stare before entering the room.

You both sat on some wooden boxes filled with god knows what. You eyes wandered through the hole place, trying to find something entertaining.

The woman hadn't said anything for a whole eternity before breaking the silence.

"So, Miya-san, huh?" The way she said the damned name tickled you off.

"I'm no Miya"

"Yeah, I know. I've heard of you" Yukie chuckled, looking at you with despise. You cocked a brow ate her.

"Sure you did" She was about to retort before the door was open again.

"Well, it's always a pleasure to make business with Itachiyama. We will see you off, then" Konoha said before reaching for the exit.

It was long past midnight when the meeting ended. The five of you were by the gates, Konoha and Komori doing some chit-chat, when four people appeared out of nowhere, knives in their hands.

"Ara, ara. look at these yakuza big shots" A man with an undercut said, fidgeting with the blade between his fingers. In your periferic vision you saw Yukie running back to the hangar and the three men by your side reaching for the guns by their hips.

Among the other four, a figure seemed familiar to you.

"Kuribayashi Runa" The name left your lips in a whisper. The female let out a mocking laugh and Sakusa frowned at you.

"Explain" Your husband immediatelly demanded, grimacing.

"She is the new maid working in your house. Today was her first day." Runa scoffed at your reply.

"Do I look like a maid to you, bitch?" And then, everything went into slow motion.

The woman came in your direction, holding the knife high in the air whilst you stepped backwards, being cornered by the gate.

You saw the blade glinting under the street lights and saw it aiming for your chest.

But it never came.

A hand pushed you downwards and you fell to the ground along a clattering sound. Sakusa's shadow loomed over you, trying to evade the knife.

By your left, you saw Konoha and Komori fighting the other guys, their guns useless in a hand-to-hand fight.

The adrenaline rushed through your bloodstream, your mind going frantic. It felt like one of those life or death situations you faced in the surgery room.

How can I save someone's life right now?

You saw Sakusa's pistol laying on the ground next to you. He and the woman were a couple of inches from your body.

You knew what you had to do.

With your leg reaching forward, you made her trip. The knife she held was kicked away by your husband.

"Sakusa! Watch out for Komori!" And you threw the gun at him.

A second too late, the bang echoed and an agonizing scream ripped through the night.

By your left, Runa and two of the guys were already running away.

The man Komori fought collapsed to the ground clutching his leg and cursing under his breath.

But the most disturbing sight was the way Komori held his arm, whimpering and cursing while his right hand clutched the knife's handle.

The blade tore his flesh and crossed the limb right next to its joint, in a weird angle.

Yukie came back, carrying a rope and a pistol.

"I sent some of our men to their direction." She said while helping Konoha to restrain the guy who attacked you.

"What the fuck you guys want?" The blond asked before kicking the man in his guts. The latter spat blood, giving a crooked smile at Konoha.

"Johzenji is coming" Was all he said before passing out.

"Yukie, carry him to the basement." He ordered "Since it happened on our territory, we will be investigating the incident. We count with Itachiyama's cooperation and will keep you updated" Konoha bowed at Sakusa, before rushing back to the building.

Komori was still on his knees, head hanging low. A grunt went past his lips and you knew what he was doing.

"Komori! Don't!" But again your shout came too late and the man ripped the knife away from his limb. Blood rushed through his fingers and dampened the suit he wore. "Fuck" you rushed to his side, Sakusa's features going livid.

"We gotta take him to a hospital" you said.

"No!" Komori croaked out, getting a hold of your arm. You knew what he meant, but you also knew what could definetely happen if he ignored the situation.

Sakusa was frozen in front of you two, unsure of what to do. You took a deep breath, mustering up all the courage you had.

"You have to trust me, then" you held the brown haired male by his torso and gave Sakusa a determined glare.

The oyabun noded at you and it was all the assurance you needed before ripping out Komori's blazer and transforming your scarf into a tourniquet.

In your old apartment, you ushered the two males inside, taking them both to your kitchen.

Sakusa sat the Kobun in a chair while you went to another room. A minute later, you brought two metallic cases, some flasks and a first aid box.

In the cupboards you took a flask of alcohol and squeezed it to the table, wipping it with some gauzes.

Positioning Komori's arm over the wooden surface, you sterilized his wounds with povidone and then turned your attention to Sakusa.

"I'll start it now" before proceeding to the sink. Sakusa admired the movements you made while washing your hands "I need you to do the same" and he complied.

The male helped you to put the gloves and mask on and to set your instruments over the table.

Looking at Komori, you realized he passed out in spite of the pain. The blood loss wasn't huge, but you did not knew why he fell unconcious.

You prepared two syringes of anesthesics. Sakusa sent you a weird glare, brows furrowing at you.

"Don't look at me like this. I'm a surgeon you know" and then you did the infusion. "Its not that weird if I have some hospital shit at home".

You opened the cut with a scalpel. Scrutinizing at the wound, you saw the artery was hit.

"Thank god." You let out a breath of relief, realizing the damage was little. It didn't need an anastomosis, so some stiches would do. "The ulnar artery was hit but it won't be too hard to fix. Although, I can't tell if there's a nerve damage" and you started to close the vessel's lesion.

You observed if there was any muscle or tendon damages and proceeded to suture the gashes, making sure the procedure was well done. You then patched it up and imobilized the limb with a makeshift splint, before undoning the tourniquet.

"Let's take him to my bedroom" With that, you both carried the unconcious man to your bed. "I need to check him overnight and– Shit! Your face!" It was just now you realized he had a gash on his cheek.

Sakusa flinched, feeling the blood drying over his skin and dampening the mask he used. He removed the cloth and observed the cut with the front camera of his phone. He frowned at the sight.

"It can get an infection and leave a nasty scar. Do you want me to patch it up?" You offered after checking Komori's blood pressure and his heartbeat.

A please left his lips in a whisper.

You both went back to the kitchen and you used a new set of tools. Holding his face between your gloved hands, you admired his facial features.

Sakusa was pretty.

Almost ethereal with his thin nose, almond eyes and thick brows. In addition, te two moles on his forehead complimented his beauty.

You snapped out of your reverie, getting to work.

"Finished. This kind of suture won't leave a visible scar" you said cutting the thread and reinforcing the stitch with tape.

Your finger lingered a bit longer on the apple of his cheek. Sakusa grabbed your hand and held it for a while before getting away from you and settling himself on your couch. You ignored the ghost of his touch on your skin and went back to check on Komori.

That night, Sakusa realized that no one ever handled him with such care, as if he was made of fine china.

I like that touch, he decided.

❥ taglist: is still open. Send an ask or use the commentary section to let me know if you want to be added!

@ukaiwachin @keekee-732 @chiibichann @shinguchi @captain-shittykawa @fortheloveofbakugo @daisyjaebae @jihoonspout @floodinginstars @fl4mepillar @trash4sportsanime @translucentthoughts @starrystanze @teaanbiss @hqxreader @sunboikyo00 @yskomiii @ly-nia @shadyjinyoung @julimausi1311 @idiot-juice-enthusiast @hyoonx23 @keuromi @differentballooncollection @re-zerohora @onigiriimiya @ayaeushi @wolfiepirate @sekshi-namjas @tomo-uwu @flodaisez @jh-bee @kemochie;

#sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #sakusa scenarios #sakusa x you #sakusa kiyoomi imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq sakusa #throne haikyuu yakuza au #throne: the series

[antigoneidk]

hiii💖i loved ur writting btww u r amazing🥰anyways im here for a request!! i want a tom x reader where they are both in quarantine with tom's brothers and friends and tom's going live on ig(like the quiz he did last night) and he requests the reader and she's like "we live in the same house " can it be cute, like after that they cuddle and kiss😇

I’m sorry|t.h.

a/n: thank you so much for your request love❤ (edit: so many mistakes i am truly sorry guys!)

warnings: fluff

You were sitting in the living room watching Netflix on the TV. Blankets were all over you, making you feel cozy and comfortable. You were exhausted, even though you didn't do anything all day.All of the sudden you started feeling sleepy. and your eyes were struggling to stay open.

Tessa was sleeping on your legs. It was hard for you to move but also you didn't want to wake her. So you stayed there ready to fall asleep.

Suddenly you heard a notification from your phone.

𝘜𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥2013 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸!

You ignored it thinking that he was just going to be his silly self talking to fans and answering questions.Well you wanted to be there or even watch it but you were so tired that even unlocking your phone was difficult.

You tried to get to sleep but you noticed that it was so quiet down there that you started looking for the boys, but neither Harry or Haz were with you. so you tried to remember something you shouldn’t have. And as the time went by you finally remembered.

It was the quiz live today! 

You quickly grabbed your phone not longer feeling tired and stopped the episode that was playing on your T.V. Michael Scott was at the screen now shipping from his famous mug. What a legend!

The three boys appeared on your screen and you smiled as you heard them talk to the fans and fighting with each other .Some of them noticed you and started asking why you weren't with the boys, while others were just saying hello. So you decided to greet them too and that didn't go unnoticed.

"Well look who decided to join us" Harry said and pointed at your username making you laugh.

"Hi baby" Tom smiled through the screen and even from there your butterflies were jumping into your stomach and your heart was already beating faster.

"She should definitely take the quiz too huh?" Haz suggested and all of them agreed. You brust out laughing not waiting for them to actually invite you, but all of the sudden you got an invention from them to join the live.

You declined feeling a little bit insecure about your appearance. You knew that  being worried about yourself,would make Tom mad. He always did,but it was a fight with yourself you just couldn’t stop it..

"Why would decline us Y/N? You just did the biggest mistake of your life. Accept it or we'll come down to get you" Tom said with a straight face and you lauged out loud at his reaction. He was the cutest guy in the universe without even trying.

"Oh she's laughing down stairs. I can hear her"Harrinson said you laughed even louder.

You got again the same invention and this time you accepted. After a few seconds your face popped up on your screen and they all let out happy noises.

"There's she is finally. Babe what are you doing?"Tom asked smiling.

"I was about to fall asleep but then realised that you all disappeared and then I remembered.I'm dumb" you said as you started yawing and smiling at the same time.

"Ohh come on you're not dumb Y/N.Okay maybe a little for forgetting such a huge event but it's okay we forgive you" Harry said looking at the screen and at your boyfriend,who was watching him with an angry face.

"Thank you Harry. You’re so sweet!"you said back.

"Okay darling listen. I have just one question for you. You need to answer this right. If you don't we're gonna have a huge problem in our relationship" Tom said as he grapped the piece of paper with the question.

"Don't put pressure on me now"you cried as your hand touched your forehead.

"So..are you ready?" your boyfriend asked you anticipated.

"Yes I am"you let out a breath and waited for him.

"So...who is the coolest super hero in the m.c.u.?"

You knew the answer,his answer. But you wanted to play a little.

"Ohh that's easy. Of course is Iron Man. Is that even a question baby, come on"you said trying to play it cool.

Well his face was something you didn’t know you wanted in your life. You felt the need to laugh so bad but you tried not to, although his was making it hard for you while he was blinking fast staring at the camera.

"Okay you know what? We’re gonna talk about this later. Now we’re gonna talk to our fans that KNOW the RIGHT answers to this quiz. You should go get some sleep okay?"Tom said looking at the screen a little surprised from you not saying the 'right' answer.

"Well I though I was right"you tried making a puppy face but failed miserably.

"No apparently you were not"Harry interrupted with a half smile on his lips.”Oh no he seems mad”

"We have to let others to join too. We'll talk later"Tom said raising his eyebrows and after 3 seconds you disappeared from your screen.

Was he mad at you? Why? You wanted to have fun for a while, you didn’t expect things to turn like these. You tried to keep up with them for a little longer, his smile not leaving his face. You fell asleep with him on your mind and sad thoughts making you feel guilty.

---

Two strong hands lifted you from the couch you were sleeping on. From the smell that came to your nose you knew it was him. You felt him walk for a while and then the cold sheets hit your back as he tried to let you sleep comfortably and peaceful.

"Please stay with me"you said with your sleepy and deep voice as you grabbed him from his shirt trying to make him stay next to you.

With your eyes closed you put your hands around his torso. His hands were making their way through your hair, the most relaxing thing you could have ever asked for.

"Spiderman is the coolest superhero in the m.c.u."you said opening your eyes but still not looking at him but at the wall across the room and squeezing his shirt a little more tighter."You were right I needed some sleep but now i know this is the right answer."you finally looked up at him

He smiled at you, admiring your face and how cute you were acting now.

"Do I have something on my face?"you asked little worried. Your self confidence was about to start falling again even more.

"You are the cutest person Y/N I have ever met. I love you so much. I never thought I could get to love someone as much as I do. I even question my self at night how did I get so lucky. You're the best thing in my life now. And not only now. I love you babygirl. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel other than loved. I love you."

You looked up to the boy next to you.Him confessing his feelings to you was something that you never could get used to. You loved that boy with your whole heart and soul. Your tears left your eyes falling all the way down your face. The love you had for him was unbelievable. You couldn't explain it, or put it into words.

"I love you Tommy. And I'm sorry for making you mad today. I wanted to play with you but i never thought of this. I'm so so sorry baby" you grabbed his face and kissed him on his cheek.

"I am sorry for making you feel bad or sad. I thought you were going to laugh but after we closed and I couldn't hear you laughing I knew I screwed things up"he laughed but you saw this tears at the edge of his eyes.

His was the love of your life.

He kissed you gently on your lips. His hands now on your waist trying to pull you even closer to him. Your hands on his hair playing with them. Your felt your heart almost explode into your chest.

"Goodnight Tom"you said with your sleepy voice after breaking your kiss.

"Goodnight babygirl"he said grabbing you into a hug that lasted till next morning.

___________________

I'm so sorry for any mistakes. And I'm sorry if this is cringe for you heheheh...<3

*gif is not mine*

Thanks for reading❤

#tomholland #tomhollandx #tomholland?reader #tom holland × y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland #spiderman #far from home #homecoming #tom #holland #marvel #endgame #infinity war #tom holland x #tom holland imagines

[xhudgenssistersconfessions]

Hey guys! I’m the one who wrote about the Zanessa ff (about getting back together and having a son named Gregory David). I’m still writting it and it will be huge. I written in italian cause is my native language BUT I will post the ff on Wattpad and I will traslate it in english too (probably this Summer).  But here is one of my fav part that I written from chapther 12. Sorry for the grammar and the errors. I tried my best to traslate it. :) 

-Zac? -.

The girl narrowed her eyes to fight against the darkness of the room. In the twilight of the evening, at the front door, there was Zac: he seemed soaking wet and, for a moment, the girl wondered why. There was no sign of rain outside. Then he came closer and a strong smell of beer mixed with wisky invaded her nostrils.

-Zac, what you want? Are you drank?-.

Vanessa sighed. She didn’t want to be offensive to him, but she didn’t really understand why the hell he had come to her house at that time of night. And the fact that he was her friend aain now and he had been drinking worried her a lot.

-I didn’t drink- he mumbled - it’s all Dylan’s fault-..

The young man clapped his hand and the entrance lights came on revealing a Vanessa in a nightgown and a Zac wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. The boy’s clothes were wet with alcohol.

Vanessa blinked a couple of times like she was giving time to her brain to work out that vision: her ex mumbling meaningless sentences in the living room of her house.

-How … how did you get into my house? - she asked, blushing. She didn’t know why, but she felt uncomfortable wearing just a night robe.

-Your security code-

-My what? -

Zac grinned.

-Van, your gate has had the same security code for almost five years. Don’t you think it’s time to change it? -

-Have you really do… did it? What do you want Zac? - she repeated. How the hell did he remember his security code?

-I’m not drunk, if that’s what you think- he stated firmly, completely ignoring her previous question.

-You smell like alcohol- she wrinkled her nose, but her heart began to beating fast: she was worried actually. She didn’t want to see Zac again in those conditions. It made her feel bad.

-Dylan and I had a fight- Zac stared at the floor -and he spilled his drink on me. I got angry and he locked me out of my house, so I don’t know … I came here. Sorry I … I couldn’t go to Ash and Chris, they worry too much about me-.

Vanessa’s anger evaporated suddenly: Zac was intimidated by her. She ran into the bathroom and got a couple of clean towels.

-Come here … - she said to Zac, holding out a towel and passing it over his soaked hair.

Zac closed his eyes, getting lost in her touch. How far had it come? He didn’t want to mess up with Vanessa’s life, but he couldn’t help it. He felt he had to justify himself in some way, he felt he had to say anything that made him appear less messed up in the eyes of what he considered the perfect woman.

-I … -  he approached his and hands on hers - I’m not the same person as in the past and not even the one you’ve seen in these months . I’m trying to do my best Nessa. Things didn't go exactly as I wanted . My life is not all roses and flowers-.   

-Zac, you don’t have to prove anything to me-

-Yes but…-

-No … what … why did you fight with Dyl ? -

-Oh- Zac suddenly darkened -he claims that I have to stop wasting time and find a girl, as if it changed things. He knows I won’t find Miss Perfection in a blink of a eye!-. Zac raised with his finger Vanessa’s chin so she could look him in the face - I already met her , and I let her go. And now my life has changed so much that I don’t know how I could ever get her back -. 

Vanessa blinked and looked away from him. She could feel Zac’s electric gaze all over her body. She wasn’t surprised by his words.  But she couldn’t even understand exactly how they made her feel. Zac was obviously talking about her.  About her and him and how they’d changed over the years. Vanessa knew her ex was right. His life had changed… And hers changed too.

“ How do you know you already met the right person?” whispered Vanessa. 

Zac swallowed. 

-I just know it. It’s enough, ok ? -.

Vanessa looked again in his eyes. He was there, in front of her, completely drenched in alcohol blathering meaningless sentences. And  than she was here… her legs went soft and the girl’s heart began to beating fast.

The dark blue in the young man’s eyes had softened somewhat with a color he was most familiar with. Those eyes had drawn his gaze on more occasions than she could count, yet hse remembered each of them. 

-How? - she asked, big tears were forming unexpectedly in her deep dark eyes.

-Destiny- the boy shrugged - faith, God, the Universe. Call it what you want Van. I just know it. I know you were that kind of person and I … and I let you go like an idiot . In all these years there has not been a day when I have not regretted it . I had faith in us. I took it for granted. I lost you and I lost faith in almost everything else . You were the first love of my life and … after you I couldn’t love anyone else. I let you go and cursed myself for it. I know I was in love with you since I saw you at that premiere “Thunderbird”, by the way you treated the fans and your friends. And when I met you again for the audfition of High School Musical I told myself that I would never let you go . Because from the moment I told you the first I love you I knew that nothing would have been so bad in life, that nothing bad would be ever happened to me because I had you. And after that day at Ashley and Chris’ house. Van, after that day I think this is it. I think it is a sign of destiny again -.

He took a deep breath and take a step back away from her. 

Vanessa stared at him as petrified. She didn’t know what to say. She had heard every word, but it was as if her brain refused to accept it. Did Zac really make a declaration of love to her?

-I think … I think you have to go now-.

He moved away from her, squeezing the wet towel tightly .

-Van … Van I ’m so sorry … -.

Zac felt his mouth kneaded. He knew he had ruined everything with his speech. God! It was an idiot. he was a fool for thinking that Vanessa still felt something for him.

-No , you really should go now-.

-Listen … - Zac tried to touch her again, but the girl backed away.

-No you listen- the brunette’s tone of voice suddenly became serious -you can’t go to my house at this hour of the night. You are fucking drunk and you tell me these things. You can’t, it’s not fair. I have been your friend in these months, I made you confidences and your only thought was this? You used me and you used Austin-

“It wasn’t my intention to become his friend,” hissed Zac. Now he was getting nervous.

-I wasn’t the one who dragged you to Ashley’s house that day. I am not the one who called you for hanging out and having dinner wirth your so fucking perfect blonde boyfriend! I’m not the one who wanted to meet Stella again. You give me hope and now do you want to tell me that you haven’t felt anything in these months? -

-You are not my boyfriend anymore! i have Austin now and he makes me happy! Is absurd! It’s absurd! - Vanessa didn’t want to raise her voice, but she was doing it.

The brunette raised her arms in surrender and tried to march towards the door, but Zac stood before her.

-I’m not done … - he hissed through gritted teeth - don’t you remember? Was our five years of relationship a joke for you? Fuck, I was your first time! -

-Zac … no … -

-I was your first time, we grew up together, we bought a house together. We were happy! And for a very disgusting doubt of jealousy we have screwed up everything! -

-It was not a doubt! I have not accused you of anything! I was no longer happy, I felt suffocated! -

-Have you ever thought about how I felt? Have you ever thought about how bad I was at the idea of ​​losing you ?! No! Every time we were away from each other for a movie or theater production my heart literally broke up, but I had to do it! Maybe I was selfish, I thought about the career and not about us! But I was twenty-three! I was young and I was stupid and you practically condemned me and you refused to speak with me since that tall guy came on the scene!-

-You are the one who has practically ignored me for months! I sent you lot of texts and mails and you always refused to answer to me! -

-I didn’t want to see you with …-

-Well, it seems to me that you like my boyfriend a lot now -

Zac bit his tongue, but by now the words were coming out of his mouth like a flooding river. He had to let it out, he had to let it out because he’d been holding it all in for years. 

-I did it for you! Fuck, I only did it to be with you again! To have you back in my life! -.

He had finally said it. For months he had carried that secret inside his chest, for months it had weighed on him like a boulder. Now he had finally got rid of it.

Zac felt himself die at the sight of Vanessa: she was giving him an almost disgusted look.

- So you pretended to be friends with Austin just to get to me ? ! You pretend for months to be his friend just because you wanted to take me to bed! -

-Oh please! That was the least of my thoughts! - he lied, looking down for half a second.

-Oh yeah … - she taunted him - and so why you have prepared all of this? Why did you make sure you were alone with me? -

-Because I missed you!- Zac sighed, approaching her. Now his breath was calm. His eyes were glued to Vanessa’s ones.

-I missed you so much that hurt like hell. So, I said to myself that I would become his friend if this was the only way to get you back in my life. At the beginning I didn’t want it, I hatted him for many reasons … but I understand why you fell in love with him. He’s a good guy … but your eyes … you’ve never looked at him like the way you looked at me .

-Stop it… - Vanessa blushed. She was slowly losing control and she didn't like it at all . She felt a familiar feeling of warmth spread throughout the body.

-I never loved anybody. None one, as I loved you- Zac whispered, getting closer and closer.

Vanessa could mirror herself in her ex’s sapphire blue eyes, she could count and how many breaths she took…. and then they kissed.

Vanessa moved away from the kiss.

-This is wrong…-

-What matter … - Zac whispered ,: his hands slipped in the hair of the girl and he smelled  the sweet scent f lilac and coconut  that he always turned it on -I never expected to meet you again and  Ido not know what will happens tomorrow, but I know that I want to be with you-.

They kissed again, close to each other . Vanessa felt she had lost control as Zac’s powerful arms lifted her off the ground. A moment later they were in the bedroom.

#Vanessa Hudgens #Zac Efron #Zanessa #Fanfiction #submission

[razaks-wheel]

A brief introduction to Llevura.

(Llevura will see a criminal and heretic and be like “Is any Morag Tong agent going to kill him?” and politely wait for an answer.)

---

Rating: T

Summary: Hand Llevura Ranith runs into a Morag Tong assassin while investigating the Llodos plague.

Notes: A lot of the dialogue is derived from actual ESO dialogue (but edited to fit the story).

---

As soon as Llevura stepped inside the Varlas house, she heard people talking downstairs.

“Please! I told you everything I know!” said one voice, thick with fear.

“One more lie, and I’ll make you stop talking. Permanently. Understand?” came a second voice, far more casual.

The conversation certainly sounded like it could be relevant to her current investigation, and even if it were not, it sounded like something a Hand of Almalexia would like to check up on. She went downstairs to investigate.

In the back of the basement, she saw a woman in Morag Tong armor holding her blades up threateningly to a man tied to a chair. She assumed the man was Evis. Whatever the outcome here, Dala might be interested to know that her husband was not exactly sleeping off a hangover.

The Tong agent was more of a surprise. She was not aware that the Tong was operating so openly now. She had processed the rare writ when she was still an Ordinator, but the assassins were so rarely seen in action. Still, if the agent did have a writ on Evis, Llevura would not wish to interfere—nor would she have the legal right. But she did need to find out what the mer knew, and that seemed to be what the agent was doing. Maybe they could reach some sort of agreement.

“Pardon me, sera. I don’t mean to interfere with Tong business, but I do need to speak to this mer,” Llevura said.

The assassin spun around. “I have no intention of letting an amateur screw up my investigation.”

Llevura folded her arms across her chest and raised her eyebrows. “‘Amateur,’ sera?” When the assassin made no reply, she continued, “As I said, I have no desire to get in the way of your work, but if you’d allow me just a moment to speak with—”

“Turn around and walk away. Now.”

She tilted her head slightly in incredulity at this young assassin’s brazenness, and could not help but let a small laugh through, but she stood her ground. “I don’t think so.”

“Why is everyone in this town so damned stubborn?” the assassin asked. “I’m armed to the teeth and dangerous as all get out. And you’re not scared? Not even a little?”

“I’m armed with divine enchantments and blessings from Mother Morrowind. And my sword. Go ahead and try me.”

“Fine.” The assassin sheathed her blades. “You’re lucky I don’t feel like killing you today. Do what you will.”

“Careful, sera,” Llevura said. “I have no quarrels with the Morag Tong, but if your organization ever hopes to regain traction, threatening to murder Her Hands without a writ might hurt your case.”

The assassin made no reply, and vanished. Llevura noticed a sheet of paper on the floor where she had been standing.

“Um, could I have that letter back?” Evis asked. “I’d really appreciate it.”

“No, you may not,” Llevura said coolly, picking up the letter. It seemed to be a note of chastisement; he had apparently failed to properly deliver some shipment, probably of the Llodos plague. It also mentioned someone named Vox. “Who’s Vox?”

“Vox? Never heard of her. Why would I be afraid of a Vox?” The mer squirmed in his seat as he spoke.

Llevura sighed and brought a hand up to her helmeted head. Mother have Mercy, is this mer truly as useless as he seems?

“Tell me about the shipment or rot here,” she said, losing her patience.

He had little information of value to offer beyond what she had already learned from the letter. The only thing he added was a vague threat: “Those missing villagers? It’s no coincidence. You’ll see. Vox will destroy you all!”

“That’s enough threats for one day,” Llevura said. She turned her back to the mer and glanced around in a vain search for the assassin. She may have cloaked herself, but Llevura had never heard the door open, and so she was probably still around, waiting, seeing what she could learn from Llevura’s “amateur” investigation.

“Forester?” she called into the ostensibly empty house. “Did you have a writ on this mer?”

The Tong agent reappeared to the side of the room, leaning against the wall.

“No, not yet,” the agent said. “I was to gather information.”

Llevura sighed. “Pity. That would have made my job easier,” she said. “Naturally, I can’t set him free, but I don’t trust those in charge of Narsis enough to deliver him into their custody. I would bring him to Mournhold, but I don’t know how long it will be until I get there, and Three help me if I have to drag this sorry mer around with me until then. They’d ultimately execute him anyway; I’ll just have to do it myself.”

The assassin’s eyes widened slightly. “Execute him?”

“Execute me?!” Evis piped up.

“I do have that authority, when it comes to outlaws and threats to Morrowind,” Llevura said to the assassin, pointedly ignoring the mer behind her. “That doesn’t bother you, does it?”

“Not at all,” the assassin said, gesturing as if to give her permission to do her job.

Llevura turned around to face the condemned mer. He looked appropriately terrified, and she felt a pang of sympathy. She took off her helmet. He should have the opportunity to look his executioner in the eye.

Executions were never something she looked forward to, especially impromptu executions like this. It was always so awkward to discuss the logistics with the one about to die, but it had to be done.

“How do you want to do this, Evis?” she asked. “Standing, sitting, kneeling? Throat, heart? Be advised that the only blade I have on me is my greatsword, so unless the forester wants to lend me a dagger, slitting your throat might be a little difficult.”

“Um…heart, then, I guess,” he stammered. “And…standing, I think.”

“I hope you don’t mean to try to escape,” she said, bending down to untie him. “We will kill you without further discussion.”

“Understood,” he mumbled as he stood up.

“I’ll give you a moment to say your death rites. I have a prayer book, if you need it.”

“Pah!” he spat. “The Tribunal are false gods. They’ve done nothing for Morrowind. I have no use for your death rites.”

“Ah, a heretic, too. That makes my life easier.” She drew her sword. “Suit yourself, then. Will you be facing me, or away from me?”

“Um…away,” he said, returning to his previous state of fear.

As he turned away, Llevura remembered the assassin to her side and turned to her. “I’d advise you not to watch, but I doubt you’ll be fazed by death.”

The assassin smirked under her mask and made no move to avert her gaze.

She turned back to her prisoner. “What’s your surname, Evis?”

“Marys.”

“Evis Marys, in the name of the Divine Tribunal of Morrowind, and on my authority as a Hand of Almalexia, I hereby condemn you to death. May the Three have mercy on your soul.” She drove her sword into his back and through his heart.

“Impressive,” the assassin said as Llevura lowered the mer’s dead body to the floor. “You didn’t even flinch.”

“Why should I have flinched? I was carrying out the Tribunal’s justice.”

“Oh, I forgot,” the assassin said, sauntering into her personal space. “You Ordinators take your jobs so seriously.”

Llevura sheathed her sword and crossed her arms again. “I’m a Hand. I outrank Ordinators.”

“Ah, my sincere apologies, Sera Hand,” she said in a voice that could be described as anything but sincere.

“Don’t you have work to do, Sera Forester? Or do you plan to accompany me while I break it to Dala Marys that I killed her useless husband?”

She snorted. “No, thank you. That is well outside my area. Go share your Lady’s Mercy with the new widow. I’m sure we’ll meet again soon.” She went to cast her cloak, but paused. “My name’s Naryu, by the way. But you can call me ‘Sera Forester’ if you’d like.”

#llevura #razak's ocs #naryu virian #eso

[slipsthrufingers]

The Ruins or the Mine scene from Brienne's POV? Or the very end of The Cave chapter? Whatever strikes your fancy, if anything does. Thank you!

Okay lovely, The Cave chapter from Brienne’s POV. Again, crazy spoilers here, so if you haven’t read The Tides, go read that before you read this. Please go read it, I’m very proud of it, and this scene was high-key my favourite part of the fic.

The scream woke her. It pierced the quiet of the night like a dagger, and she sat bolt upright, alert and reaching for her sword before she properly took in the scene before her. The moonlight laid it all clear enough for her to see. They were still in the cave, still alone. Ser Jaime was still asleep on the other side of the fire, which had burned down to embers. He moaned, and writhed, both arms waving in the air as though trying to push away an enemy, and then he cried out again, a broken, hoarse, terrified thing that shot straight through to her heart.

Brienne was out of her bedroll and by his side in a heartbeat, hand on his shoulder and calling for him to wake, “Ser Jaime.” She squeezed his shoulder and dodged his arm, which flew out to ineffectually push her away. His face was screwed up in misery; tears leaked out through his shuttered eyelids. It was too much.

“Ser Jaime,” she repeated, firmer this time, and this time, it broke through. He stilled under her hands, not even moving to breathe, eyes moving wildly as he looked about and oriented himself. “You were dreaming.”He let out a shallow breath and pushed against the ground weakly. But whether it was because of the dream, or his emaciated state, he couldn’t, so she helped him to sit up, careful not to touch anywhere near his injury. He held it tight to his chest, face blotchy with stress and pain, plainly afraid of further agony.

All at once, a shard of guilt sliced through her heart, painful and cold. She had spent much of the previous day angry at this man. Angry that he was so rich, that he could walk about the country labelled Kingslayer, and yet still be treated with more respect than she would ever be, that he was so free with his words and many other imagined slights, because truly she was angry at him for keeping her from her father. But of course, he did not know that was what he was doing. He did not deserve to be treated so by her, not when he was so plainly unwell himself.

Her father would not be happy to see her treating him so. If their positions were reversed, and her father was here with him, she knew what he would do.

Once she was sure Jaime could hold himself upright, she fetched her waterskin and a handkerchief from her saddlebag, pressing the cloth into his hand first. He looked at it as though she had handed him some strange, foreign object, confusion writ clear on his face, and she was almost struck mute by how mortified she felt. “You’re crying,” she whispered, so that no one, not the forest critters outside could hear.

He flushed too, and turned to wipe his face, and when he turned back, she pressed the waterskin into his hand so that he could drink. That, too, bewildered him, and before she knew it, she found herself speaking. “I saw my brother die, when I was very young.”

The words rolled off her tongue easily, though it was a story she had never told another soul before. Brienne had never wanted to tell it, not to anyone other than her father, who knew all the details anyway so there was no point. If anyone ever asked her what had happened to Galladon, she simply said, “He drowned when I was a girl,” and left it at that, and people were polite enough not to ask for further details. She had never told anyone of the dreams that had haunted her for months afterwards, nor had she spoken of how her father had cared for her every night until she felt brave enough to return to her room to sleep without fear of what she might see once she closed her eyes. But she did, to him. To this broken man, who listened attentively to each soft word, and who leaned in closer to her, like a flower leaned towards the sun, drinking in every word.

Absurdly, he looked like he was about to cry again. His mouth worked tightly, as though itching to keep himself contained, but she could see how exhausted he was. How drawn and defeated. She passed him the handkerchief as the first tear fell, and then in the same movement she reached for his hair, to brush it out of his face. Impertinent and inappropriate, but who was here to see but them?

He leaned into her hand, his face pressing against it with an urgency that surprised her. He was flushed and warm and suffering, so she did as her father had done when she had suffered, and pulled him into a hug. She wrapped both arms around him, shhing him when he sobbed into her shirt and gripped her more tightly, doing her best to gentle away his pain.

She held him for some time, it was impossible to tell how long in the dark, but when they eventually pulled apart, he seemed calmer. Exhausted, still, but calm.

“I’m sorry,” she said, keeping her hand on his thigh, “for the way I spoke to you yesterday. You did not deserve my harsh words. I know you were only concerned for my honour, and it was not right for me to take my bad mood out on you.”

He blinked, plainly confused, and shook his head. “It is no matter.” 

That would not do. She gripped his thigh a little tighter, and looked at him directly, “You have been fair to me and my people since you arrived. I have seen nothing but honour and kindness in your actions, even though I can see that you have not been well, and this trip has taken a toll on you,” she said, feeling the truth of every words. It was the right thing to say, this apology, and she needed him to understand and accept it. “I was wrong. I am sorry.”

For a moment, she could not read his face. He struggled with something and his throat worked tightly, lips thin. But he nodded, and accepted her words. She smiled and held out the water skin once more. He had not drunk before, when she had first handed it to him, but he did now, and looked better for it when he was done.

It was the work of a minute to move her bed roll next to his, where she could be near to him again if the dreams returned. She stretched out beside him, so that she could be as close to him as her father was to her, ready to offer him comfort if it was needed. It took some time, but soon enough she heard his breath even out with sleep, and it was only then that she let herself relax enough to drift off herself until she woke beside him the next morning.

#the tides #jaime x brienne #brienne of tarth #jaime lannister #scoundrels-in-love

[artificialqueens]

let me be your motivation (branjie) - holtzmanns

(read on ao3) | (tumblr)

AN: Just a baby fluff drabble for one of my most favourite people in the world. Hope you enjoy! The next chapter of ‘nobody knows where we might end up’ should be coming real soon. Thank you writ for betaing <3

“Bitch, you don’t even get laughing gas when you get a filling! Why do I gotta come with you?” Vanessa sulks in the passenger seat of Silky’s car, resisting the urge to prop up her feet against the dashboard. She’d been having a great time with her Love Island marathon on her day off, popcorn and all, when her roommate had practically dragged her off of the couch with no chance to argue.

“You wanna be responsible for when I get into a crash after this appointment ‘cause I’m high as hell? Have that on your conscience?” Silky doesn’t even blink as she guides them through traffic, cutting across a lane that makes at least two people honk at her.

Vanessa makes a face, not that Silky can see as she drives. “You’re just as likely to get in a crash without it. Besides, the most you’ll have is a numb tongue. The absolute worst thing will be that you won’t be able to blow anyone for a day.”

“For me, you know that’s a tragedy.” Silky lifts a hand to her forehead in a mock faint, and it makes Vanessa laugh despite herself.

Still, she points at Silky. “We getting McDonalds after this. You’re paying.” If she’s lost a couple hours of her day off, she’s going to get something out of it.

“Yeah, yeah.” Silky waves a hand airily as they walk into the dentist’s office, and Vanessa has to hold in a gasp once they pass the nondescript entrance.

“Your dentist is fucking bougie as hell, Silk.” Vanessa’s voice, even in a whisper, carries across the waiting room with marble floors and dark leather couches, soft jazz playing overhead with a fireplace on the other end of the room. “How the hell d’you afford this?”

Silky shrugs. “Beats me. My insurance covers this place, so imma take it.”

Vanessa can’t help herself from reaching out and grabbing a mint from the reception desk, popping it into her mouth as Silky checks in. “Why do they got mints in a dentist’s office? Ain’t they supposed to be against cavities?”

The receptionist hears her, smiling up with a grin that’s a little too terrifying for Vanessa’s taste. “They’re sugar free, of course.”

Vanessa returns her best fake smile, making Silky snort and the receptionist’s eyes narrow in response. “Good to know.”

Vanessa squirms in her seat beside Silky as they wait for her name to be called. Wearing shorts had seemed like a fine and dandy idea in the morning, when the humidity was overbearing and even their apartment’s air conditioning couldn’t cut through the heavy air that felt as though it was going to drown them both. Now, though, the denim shorts feel like a mistake on the leather couches, making her wince when her thighs stick to the smooth surface as she tries to move.

“Psst.” Vanessa nudges Silky, whose face is buried in a Cosmopolitan magazine from the pile of old issues on the coffee table. “Let’s go to Kiki’s afterwards. I wanna swim in her apartment’s pool.”

“I’ll probably be on bedrest or some shit after this.” Silky doesn’t even look up from her magazine. “Ooh, ‘Ten Best Sex Positions to Light a Fire in the Bedroom’. Gonna take notes from this article.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “Bitch, it’s just a cavity. You’ll be fine.”

Silky is about to retort when a hygienist calls out her name, causing both of them to look up. Vanessa watches as Silky grins, standing and sauntering over to the hygienist. Vanessa raises her eyebrows when Silky sticks out a hand for the hygienist to fist bump, and they raise higher when the hygienist returns it with a grin.

“S’up, Plastique?”

Vanessa wrinkles her nose. What kind of sadistic parents had named their kid Plastique? Though Vanessa can’t argue that the name isn’t fitting, with the girl’s long blonde hair and bright pink scrubs. She’s practically a Barbie.

“Nice to see you again, Silky.” The hygienist beams back at Silky and Vanessa feels like she’s having an out of body experience. Since when did her roommate make herself right at home at a rich as hell dentist’s office?

Vanessa’s dentist, in comparison, is a grumpy old man that yells at her to floss more every time she goes for a cleaning. Her dentist’s office has a waiting room that is eternally full of screaming children, rather than soft lighting and mood music the way that Silky’s is. She has half a mind to sidle up to the bitch receptionist and ask for a switch, not that the woman would be inclined to accommodate her in the least.

“Hey, mind if my good sis Vanj comes in, too? I wanna squeeze her hand while y’all are drilling into my poor tooth.” Silky nudges Plastique as she says it.

“Aw Silky, c’mon!” Vanessa can’t help the whiny voice that leaves her in protest. She’d been planning on using Silky’s appointment to enjoy the strange calmness of the waiting room while swiping through her Tinder, hoping that the rich vibe of the room would find her a rich girl to go along with it.

“Of course she can.” Plastique looks like she’s trying to hold back a laugh as she looks between the two of them, Silky’s satisfied grin and Vanessa’s pout and crossed arms making them look like a sitcom duo.

Silky sticks out a hand, grabbing Vanessa’s arm and pulling her up into a standing position. Vanessa huffs. “Damn it, Silk.”

Plastique leads them down a hallway with exam rooms and an x-ray machine, and Vanessa can’t help her double take because she’s sure that she’s never seen a dentist’s office with hardwood flooring before. Plastique turns to them as they reach the last room on the left. “I’m sure Dr. Hytes will be just fine with it. We have an extra chair in each of the rooms.”

“Of course, not a problem.” The voice is right behind Vanessa, nearly making her jump and swear out loud as she turns around. The words get stuck in her throat, though, when she finds herself looking up, up, up, to make eye contact with a blonde bombshell who appears to be a lady Dr. McDreamy.

The woman’s hair is pulled back in an immaculate bun, sharp liner making the blue in her eyes pop as she looks down at Vanessa with an amused expression. She’s wearing stilettos, and from the quality of the stitching Vanessa can tell that they’re red bottomed without even having to turn them over.

No ring on her finger, though.

Vanessa gulps, before realizing that she normally has better game than this. She stands up straight, flipping her hair over her shoulder. She can feel Silky elbow her in warning, and can almost hear her voice in her ear (‘You really gotta flirt with anything in a skirt, huh?’), but she can’t help it. Screw her for wanting to look cute in front of a full on Amazonian goddess.

Dr. Hytes looks her up and down, and Vanessa has to try her best not to fidget under her gaze. She likes what she sees, apparently, from the way that the corners of her mouth turn up. “Yeah, you can stay.”

Vanessa likes her already.

Vanessa’s in the perfect spot to watch Dr. Hytes at work, sitting on Silky’s right side and letting her squeeze her hand. The majority of Dr. Hytes’ face is covered with a surgical mask but it doesn’t stop Vanessa from being completely enthralled, watching the way her eyes narrow as she focuses on her task.

“So.” Vanessa can’t help herself from breaking the silence as Dr. Hytes works, feeling her cheeks heat up slightly as Dr. Hytes lets out a hum in assent. “You been working here long?”

“Not too long.” Dr. Hytes’ voice is muffled behind her mask. “Took over this practice as my own about three years ago.”

Vanessa whistles. “Damn, you own this place? Good on you.”

She’s a rich bitch. A real rich bitch, and Vanessa is completely smitten.

Dr. Hytes lets out a snort. “I didn’t want to work under someone else forever, you know? This way I’m my own boss.”

Vanessa has to hold herself back from saying that Dr. Hytes can boss her around any time, if only because of potential workplace harassment issues and an inevitable lecture from Silky. Still, Vanessa doesn’t have that much impulse control. “Can’t believe Silky didn’t tell me that you were her dentist. I’d switch over to you in a heartbeat.”

Dr. Hytes looks up, and Vanessa has to ignore the way that just a simple gaze makes her heart turn over in her chest. “Would you now?”

“You taking care of me? I sure would.” She can’t help but preen when it makes Dr. Hytes laugh, her eyes crinkling.

“You sure you could be quiet long enough for me to do my work?”

“Hey!” Vanessa can’t help but pout in her direction. She leans forward, winking when Dr. Hytes looks at her. “I can listen when it counts, if I really want to.”

She’s sure as hell not talking about visiting the dentist anymore, and from the gleam in her eye, neither is Dr. Hytes.

Silky’s hand shoots out to lightly bat at Vanessa’s side, making her yelp. “What, Silk?”

Silky lets out a series of muffled grumbles, making Vanessa remember that she’s in no position to currently talk. Vanessa can’t help but snicker. “You were the one wanting me to come in with you and hold your hand. This is what you gotta deal with now.”

Silky lets out another grumble and Vanessa pats her hand. “There, there. Yell at me later when your mouth ain’t all numb.”

She puts Silky out of her misery by leaning back in her seat, going back to watching Dr. Hytes work. When Dr. Hytes seats Silky back up in her chair, removing her bib and then taking off her own mask and gloves, Vanessa’s almost sad that the appointment is almost over. Even though, looking at the clock, it’s been nearly an hour. Damn.  

Silky stands up, following Dr. Hytes out of the room as she grumbles about her lips being numb and about how Vanessa needs to learn to shut her mouth sometimes. She then walks over to the reception desk to pay, and Vanessa’s all set to follow when Dr. Hytes grabs her elbow. She spins Vanessa around so that she’s facing her, back leaning against the wall.

“You can’t be a patient of mine.”

Well, okay. Ouch. Vanessa can’t help the defiant edge in her voice when she answers her. “Why not?”

“Because then, I can’t do this.” Dr. Hytes pulls out a business card, turning it over and pressing it against the wall as she scrawls something on it. Vanessa nearly gapes when she sees that it’s a phone number, labelled B.

“Well, shit.” Vanessa can’t help her grin as she looks up at Dr. Hytes and takes the card, as if she’s not doing a complete happy dance on the inside. “Like what you see, huh, Doc?“

“So cocky.” Dr. Hytes murmurs the words in Vanessa’s ear, nearly making her shiver. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

“You get some of this, you’ll wanna come back for more. Trust.” Vanessa has to suppress a smirk when she sees the way Dr. Hytes’ eyes roam over her, as if they’re not in a crowded office with hygienists and dentists and patients walking by them every other second.

“You’ll have to prove those words, then. I’ll look forward to it.” Dr. Hytes steps back then, turning on her heels to walk back down the hall, but not without one last look towards Vanessa. Hook, line, and sinker.

Vanessa waits until Dr. Hytes has slipped into another room, out of view of the hallway before doing a small fist pump. Dr. Hytes is leagues ahead of anyone else that she could have matched with on Tinder had she sat in the waiting room, hands down.

Silky stumbles towards Vanessa as they leave the office and head towards her car, hand still cradling the side of her own face. “What is that?”

Her voice is slightly slurred from the mouth numbing as she snatches the card in Vanessa’s hand. “Bitch, are you kidding me? You picked up my dentist? How the hell did you pick up my fucking dentist?”

Silky’s look is incredulous, and Vanessa can’t help her shit eating grin, shimmying in place as they walk. “It’s the Vanj charm, Silk. Who wouldn’t want a piece of this?”

“Ugh. Me, that’s who.” Silky dodges her shove, tossing her the keys. “Drive me home, you fucking lesbian Casanova. Unbelievable.”

Vanessa’s in a much better mood on the drive home from the dentist than she had been on the way there, the McDonalds promised earlier somehow the absolute farthest thing from her mind. And hey, if she’s a bit eager and texts Dr. Hytes that same night, who’s to judge? Especially when Dr. Hytes’ reply comes in almost immediately, dropping the name of a restaurant that Vanessa knows has a waitlist and of course Dr. Hytes is the kind of person who doesn’t even need a reservation. Silky may have gotten her cavity fixed, but Vanessa’s the one who’s going to be able to vouch for Dr. Hytes’ sublime bedside manner, if she happens to get her way tonight. Which, by how interested Dr. Hytes had seemed in her earlier, she certainly is.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #lesbian au #fluff #holtzmanns #let me be your motivation

[raspberryfanfics]

concepts pt II—hyuga hizashi

Summary: All of the world's unproven things could be explained in concepts: fate, freedom, fear, love...and a girl obsessed with birds made Hizashi question everything he believed in and made him believe. He didn't question it, he just let it be. After all, change is just a concept too.

Word Count: 6108

ON FFN HERE Part I HERE

They all made chunin that year, and Hizashi found himself struggling to keep his emotional distance from Asuka.

It seemed that every time he looked at her, she grew even more beautiful. Her once flat and unshapely body had now developed soft curves and toned muscle. She was even faster than before, her legs long and lean to help carry her at incredible speeds. Her hair was now usually braided into a ponytail to keep it out of her face and it trailed behind her when she leapt from tree to tree, becoming even closer to flying.

She was now able to use the wind-riding jutsu much more proficiently and it was now more common for her to spar in the air rather than on the ground. They all had their fair share of scars now. Some on their arms from rather tough enemies, some from surgeries after they were exposed to toxic chemicals, and some from each other. Yet their team's bond was unbreakable and stronger than before.

However, he was furiously failing to keep the distance he promised the heir of his clan.

It was hard to avoid her. Sometimes he noticed that he would be cold to her but she wouldn't care, because she knew just as well as he did that he would always find her again. Once he had a new training idea, she was the first one he went to. And when she'd sneak into his bedroom in the middle of the night and talk about her mission or birds with such passion in her eyes...how was he to continue to be cold to her when she made him feel so at home?

She took his sudden changes in attitude to be moodiness and still treated him the same. It was usually later in the day where everything would be normal again.

They each were promoted to jonin one by one in the course of four years after several missions led by Kazane-sensei. On one of the S-ranked missions, the four of them stumbled upon a map in one of the scrolls of their assassinated targets. It appeared to be a map in a language that he didn't understand. However, when Kenji examined the scroll once more, he understood it immediately.

According to their teammate, it was the signs and symptoms of strange diseases understood by a skilled medics. However, the procedure and symptoms apparently made practically no sense and were organized into several chunks. Kenji spent a week trying to figure out what it meant, even consulting Tsunade, who was also very confused.

One day, when Kazane-sensei and Hizashi were meditating, Asuka bird-watching, and he was reading, he jumped up and shouted. "I know what it means!"

The three immediately looked up and he spread pages of lined paper onto the ground, pinning them with kunai.

"So most of them provide strange snippets like right here, it says the nerve was damaged severely and the word nerve was underlined. So to try and remember this, I put the abbreviation for "nerve", which is "N" on this paper, then went to the next one, which says "sutures in the nose" so I shortened that to "intranasal" and abbreviated that to "IN". Those ones were super obvious but some of them like the missing symptom for a disease were harder to find."

"You lost me, Kenji." their sensei admitted.

"Nevermind. If you take the chart abbreviation for each section it spells out into complicated instructions to a ninja falcon cliff! It's a map to find the ninja summons of falcons written down by a med-nin who probably wanted to keep it a secret!"

And with that statement, Asuka nearly fainted. 

He caught her as she fell back but she clearly needed to hear more, and she couldn't do that if she was unconscious. She recently also acquired a contract with ninja owls, and it was clear she was hungry for more. With a writ from the Hokage, she was granted permission to leave the village in search of the ninja falcon.

Sixteen-year-old Hizashi and the other two bid their teammate goodbye at the gates of Konoha, supplying her with emergency contact gear, extra weapons, summoning scrolls within summoning scrolls, and items that were supposed to bring luck. She assured them she would be fine even as Kazane-sensei reminded her to do things in the way she used to back when they were genin. They were reluctant to let her go, knowing that it could be half a year before seeing her again. Yet this was her passion and if she succeeded, she would be a stronger ninja, something they all wanted to be.

After hugging the other Kenji and Kazane-sensei, she quickly threw her arms around Hizashi, taking him by surprise.

"I know you don't like hugs," she softly as his frozen hands shook, then slowly wrapped around her waist. "But I'm really gonna miss you, Hizashi."

He blinked, burying his face in the crook of her neck into the soft fabric of her dark grey cloak. It was true that he disliked hugs, but having her in his arms was a completely different story. "I'll miss you too, Asuka. Please be safe."

"I will,"

They seemed to linger for a few moments, even as the other two watched their interaction carefully. She then pulled away and ran off, speeding towards the distance. She leaped and turned around mid-air, giving them a final wave before disappearing.

He felt disappointment flood his body and admiration as her flowing cloak and hair escaped his immediate sight.

Kenji put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head, a grin plastered on his tanned face. "Oh man, you really got it bad, don't you."

"I—I'm not supposed to—"

"Have you told her how you feel yet?" his friend asked.

"I don't have—"

"I have my own Byakugan that see through the lies you tell yourself, Hizashi."

The young jonin sputtered, his face reddening. Kazane-sensei rolled her eyes and shoved her hands in her pockets. "Come on, Kenji. Let the poor guy try to actually sort his feelings out himself. He'll tell her when it's ready."

"Is it really that obvious?" he said a little bit too loudly.

They both gave him an identical look and he groaned, burying his face in his hands.

Four months later, he was nearly asleep when a bird was tapping at his window. It was Suisen, the tiny swift that destroyed his twin brother in the Chunin exams. At first, he thought it was a dream. But when he opened his window and let her in, she quickly flew onto his lamp. "Asuka is back."

His heart pounded in excitement. "Did she summon you to get me?"

"Nah, I thought you'd like to know. She's back home, finishing up cleaning. I think if you get there fast enough, you'll still get there."

He didn't need to be told twice. "Thank you, Suisen."

Hizashi cranked open his window as she disappeared with a poof and silently leaped over the rooves until he reached the window of her apartment. She lived on the highest floor, close to the sky and the roof. Her light was still on when he crouched on the sill of her window, knocking on it three times. When she didn't answer, he slowly pushed it open with a little bit of chakra and crept in. No one was in her bedroom and he was slightly worried.

Suddenly, the door opened and she was standing in a towel, dark hair dripping, and completely oblivious to the fact that he was in her bedroom.

"Asuka," She screamed, throwing her hands out to make hand seals, nearly losing the grip on her towel. He quickly looked away and raised his palms up. "Wait! Wait, it's just me."

His best friend relaxed and put her hand over her chest. "Lord Kami, you scared me, Hizashi — wait — Hizashi!"

Her face lit up and she hugged him once again, damp skin pressing against his clothes. He had to push her away, knowing that nothing was under her towel. She seemed to suddenly realize this fact too and blushed hard, stammering.

"Let me put something on."

Asuka took a few clothes out of her drawers and headed back the way she came, coming out once more with a loose shirt and shorts. "How did you know I was home?"

"Suisen," he replied, still trying to grasp his mind around the fact that he was home.

He wasn't supposed to miss her so much.

Every day he thought about her, wondered if she was ok, or if she missed him too. His nights were restless even though in the day he prayed he could go back to sleep just to see her in his dreams again. Then he wondered if she would even come back. What would he do without her? And even then, he thought about her hair and her birds, her cloak and her smile, he was pretty much a wreck while she was gone.

"I—I thought Suisen went back. She didn't tell me that she would find you—"

"I'm glad she did."

"Oh?"

"Yea. I really missed you, Asuka."

She smiled, brown eyes beaming warmly at him. "I missed you too."

"How did it go? Did you make a contract with any falcons?"

Her face lit up and she started on the tales of her journey, nearly falling off a cliff several times, being soaked to the bone, getting lost, and finally making it to their habitat, only to be tested if she was worthy. She talked for an hour, the light in her eyes shining as she talked about something she was passionate about. Usually, she didn't say much and they could understand each other through glances alone, but she could go on forever about birds. Sometimes he would zone out, the sound of her voice morphing into music and the way her lips moved entrancing him. Though she looked exhausted, she had enough energy to finish her story.

"The falcons can see even farther than you can," she whispered.

"Don't tell me I'm being replaced." he joked.

Asuka laughed, shaking her head. "Unfortunately, they don't see tenketsu points. Otherwise, you would have been screwed."

"Do they have crazy families?"

"Oh, yea. That falcon family would be crazier than yours besides the fact that they don't inflict terrible pain to those who disobey them."

It was a weirdly morbid joke that made the two silent for a moment, but Hizashi started laughing and she was on her way to apologizing until she burst too. They laughed, clutching their stomachs and rolling around, trying not to wake up her neighbours. Then he realized how pretty she was when she was laughing like that and stopped admire her.

When she noticed that he was no longer laughing, she stopped too. Her eyes fluttered to his lips, then back to his eyes. He prayed she would do whatever her eyes were saying she wanted to do. He prayed for her to have less self-control than he did because right now, he knew he didn't want her enough to kiss her but wouldn't stop her if she did.

Yet Asuka was never one to be bold in situations like these. Even in the rare seduction missions, she wouldn't even have to play the innocent girl because it came so easily. In a mission where she would have to show a lot of skin and crawl her fingers up an old man's arm, they would be screwed. When she looked away embarrassed, he wasn't surprised. It didn't stop Hizashi from feeling disappointment though.

He coughed awkwardly, reluctant to go but unsure of what else he could do. She smiled weakly at him when he crouched at her windowsill.

"Goodbye," her soft voice echoed through his ears.

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

She nodded and he waved a final greeting before jumping out her window, feeling light and airy, almost as if he could fly as she did.

Months later, he found himself winded up in one of the most intimate moments he ever had. The two lay side by side, staring up at the sky, which was littered with flecks, shimmering above them. Nothing touched his skin but blades of grass on their open training field, and the soft breeze of the summer night. He was fully clothed but he never felt so exposed in his life.

Hizashi didn't know much about stars and neither did Asuka, but she explained to him how birds sometimes knew where to go by looking at them. It was one of the few things about the feathered creatures she couldn't figure out: how they found their way home no matter what.

She reached out her hand as if she could touch the brightest stars and he briefly wondered how soft her fingers would feel if he wrapped his around them. Yet instead, a small owl flew past and fluttered silently around them, landing near her, looking around for prey before flying off again.

"Back in the academy, I thought your obsession with birds would be a phase. I've been proven very wrong. You have a way with them and you don't even seem to try."

She shrugged and sat to look back in the direction where the owl left. He now only saw her face, rather than stars in his vision.

"I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I respect them. I always have seen them as equals." she paused for a moment. "For the longest time, I've wanted to be like them. They're free. They have no bounds. I wished so badly that I could fly as easily as they did."

"You said all of that in past tense. Do you not wish to fly anymore?"

Asuka chuckled. "No, I do. But I can almost fly, and for me, that's enough. I wanted to fly because of the freedom, but even birds have their limits. They have more limits than humans do. I didn't want to be caged but the truth is, all of us are in one. For them, they cannot swim or go past our earth into space. For me, my limits are the same as birds and the laws of the shinobi. For you, it is your clan. I am happy with my cage. It satisfies all my needs, there is enough space, and enough unknowns to last me a lifetime."

"You always talk about freedom, but if you are caged, then how can you be free?" he asked.

"Freedom is a concept," she explained. "We all are restricted by one thing or the other. It is only freedom when you don't feel like you are restricted. I feel free even within my restrictions, therefore I am free. Yet if I were to be put into your place, in your clan, I don't think I would be. Do you feel free?"

"Sometimes," he said. "When I'm not at the compound, I feel it completely. I'm free until I take off my forehead protector and see my cursed mark. Or until I see my brother without one. When my parents don't look at me anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok," he smiled weakly. "Around the team, on missions, and with you, I usually just forget about it."

"Do you hate them?" she asked.

"I try not to. It's hard, that's for sure, but there is little I can do about it." Hizashi then hesitated.

"What is it."

"I—I hate my brother."

"I can hate him with you,"

He laughed softly. "It's ok, my hate is powerful enough for one person. It's just that I see him and try to find things I'm better at than him. And I am better than him. I learned all the techniques faster, became jonin quicker, and I know that we're identical, but I feel more attractive than he is."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "You have no idea how odd that sounds coming from a person like you."

"Anyways, I think about all the ways I'm better than him, but then I remember he doesn't have a curse mark and it outweighs everything."

She thought for a moment, staring down at him with sad eyes as he watched the stars.

"What about our team?"

"Hmm?"

"You have our team. Does that outweigh your seal?"

"Asuka I—"

"Does being on a team with me outweigh your seal?"

He felt himself at a loss for words. When he thought about it, she was right. Having such a close bond with his team outweighed the seal. Being close to someone as wonderful as her by itself outweighed the seal.

She blushed, looked away and sighed, threading her fingers around the long grass.

"Hiashi…he likes you. I—I can't."

"Since the academy, right?" she murmured. "It's just an infatuation. And it's not like he even knows me. How could he have real feelings for me when he knows practically nothing about me?"

"How do you know he doesn't have real feelings for you?"

"Are you defending him?"

She didn't seem angry, just surprised. He nodded, thinking selfishly that if she were to like him back, it would be easier for him to avoid her.

"May I ask why?"

"I'd rather not say."

Asuka crossed her legs and he propped himself up on his elbows. The moonlight hit her face at a perfect angle, highlighting her soft cheekbones and illuminating her eyes, making them appear almost silver. Her lips seemed incredibly welcoming at the moment and he wondered if they felt as soft as the looked. Would he be more satisfied by a quiet gasp if he kissed her jaw and sucked her neck or if she pressed her thin frame onto his, winding her fingers into his hair?

"H—He doesn't look at me like you do." she breathed. "You look at me li—like you—"

"Like I what?"

When words didn't arrive, he felt his stomach drop. Yet he suddenly tensed up much more when her hand reached up to his jaw and her thumb brushed lightly against his cheek, turning his face to her. His heart pounded in his chest so loudly that he couldn't hear his own thinking. Did she think about doing that? Was it easy for her to just touch him like that or did she contemplate on it, like he did every time he was around her?

"You care," she whispered. It wasn't a comparison anymore. She didn't say "like he cared". She knew. And the way she said it, he knew that she didn't mean it platonically.

She knew that he was in love with her.

It was something he had denied to himself until the very moment. He knew this as his skin heated before her hand even touched his face and as he found himself dizzy around her. When the thought of losing her made his chest hurt so much that he felt like he had to hold it and cry. How just being around her was probably the best thing to ever happen to him and how he wanted her to be around for the rest of his life.

Her whisper may have been quieter than his raging thoughts, still deafened by his pulse, yet the two words rang in his head over and over again.

Hizashi swallowed, slowly raising his hand to grab hers, locking their fingers, and painfully choosing to lower them from his face and back to her side. He let go of her hand and a new set of voices rang in his head again.

"Stay away from Asuka,"

"Hi—Hizashi?"

"I can. I can make you do whatever I want,"

"I should go—"

"Am I wrong?" she said, sounding hurt and so innocent, looking at him with big sad eyes that made him feel disgusting.

"No," he choked. "You're not wrong."

"Then why?"

And they both knew that deep inside, he knew she returned his feelings. Two people who loved each other should hardly be a problem, but it was. He lay back down from his elbows and rubbed his face with his hand.

"I don't want to hurt you—"

"You know I can handle pain, even emotional,"

"I—You—What if you realize that I'm not worth being around—"

"We've been teammates for five years."

"I have orders!" Hizashi choked, trying to keep the tears at bay. He wasn't going to cry in front of her. "I can't make any advances on you."

She was silent because even she knew that orders from the main family weren't to be taken lightly. "For how long?"

"Since you beat Hiashi during the chunin exams."

"That's when you started trying to avoid me."

"I know."

"I'm not an object."

"I told him that,"

"Yet it's an order nonetheless." she sighed.

"I'm sorry, Asuka."

He sat up, deciding that it could be a good time to leave.

"If—If you didn't have these orders, wo—would you have kissed me by now?"

One last sentence rang in his head.

"You better keep your word, brother."

"Yes, I would have," he said honestly. He wasn't going to lie to her, especially when it was a truth, not an advance. When he wasn't going to let himself go any further, she deserved it.

"Then if you don't make advances, is there anything about rejecting one?"

He blinked a couple of times, running her question in his mind over and over again. "No,"

She leaned in closer, darting her eyes between his and his lips. He prayed she would break the distance. Once again, he wouldn't lean in until she kissed him. Asuka hovered over his lips, so close he could feel her breath, so close that they shared the same air, and so close that he was scared she would hear his heart beating out of his chest.

It seemed to be forever when she finally closed her eyes and kissed him, wrapping an arm around his neck and slowly joining their breaths together. He sighed in relief and wrapped his arm around her waist, lightly pushing her to the grass and savouring her lips. They were just as soft as he imagined them to be but the fireworks exploding in his chest and the dopamine rushing through his system were completely unexpected.

When it was time to pull away, they lingered around each other, eyes still half-lidded, faces still pulling towards each other like two positive ends of a magnet, almost touching, but never there. They didn't want it to end.

"Asuka…"

"Hizashi…"

"May I walk you home?"

"You don't have to ask."

It was silence on the way to her house, unlike the other times he walked her home. Yet it was a comfortable silence, one that was warm and welcome.

She pecked him on the cheek just before walking inside, beaming radiantly.

"Goodbye,"

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

She nodded and smiled, then closed the door.

On his way home in his daze, he didn't realize that her small summoning owl was trailing him. His strength was his sight, not his hearing, and the owl also knew how to keep in the blind spot of his, even when his Byakugan wasn't activated.

What he did notice, however, was his brother standing at the entrance of the compound with his arms crossed. Hizashi was not one to be scared of another. He was scared of concepts. He was scared of dying without purpose, others controlling his fate, and unimaginable pain that was enough to strip him of his humanity. Yet as he stared in the identical yet much too different eyes, it was clear that he was scared of his brother because he could be all the concepts that Hizashi was ever afraid of.

"You broke your word."

Funny how the same vocal cords can sound so cold when they come out of another's mouth. Or how someone you are more powerful than can still hold more control over you.

"I did not,' he replied steadily.

"Then what was your session in the woods today?"

"You watched me?" he growled.

Hiashi didn't move. "I have watched you uncountable other times. It appears that you never came to your senses after all."

"I did not put forth advances. It is she who has chosen to kiss me. Do not blame me for the fact that she knows I'm a better shinobi and a better person than you are."

"Don't lie, you kissed her back."

"I did."

"That counts as an advance."

"You did not specify."

"Must I spell it out for someone of your calibre?"

Hizashi ground his teeth together. "If you truly had feelings for her, you would consider the fact that she can make her own decisions."

"Oh, I know she can. I'm not stopping her from falling for you. I'm stopping you from letting her. I can't control her, but I sure as hell can make sure you don't lay another finger—"

"You make her sound like she's your property! You probably don't even remember the type of bird she summoned to defeat you in the chunin exams. You don't care for her at all."

"Her name was Suisen. She's a swift, a White-throated Needletail to be exact. I know more than you think."

He blinked a couple of times, surprised. "You can't have actual feelings for her, can you?"

"I can."

"Wow, I'm surprised that you even had any emotion left inside of you, Hiashi-sama. Looks like you've changed. Next time work on treating women as equals and brothers as humans. Or maybe try to give people a choice and to stop lying about caring for someone you don't know—"

Hizashi suddenly felt a fist hit his face, faster than he could react.

"You don't know what you're talking about, branch filth." his brother spat.

In his years of knowing him, even though Hiashi never defended him or did anything good for him, he had never sunk so low to call him by his status in the clan. Furious, he went to punch, but Hiashi's Byakugan was already activated.

Everything turned downhill from there. Two brothers, similar in skill, equal in rage, threw gentle fists, weapons, and chakra towards each other. It was a battle to kill.

Yet Hizashi was just a little stronger than he was, so Hiashi slowly started to lose. It was until the branch member was about to close a tenketsu point until a searing pain erupted through his head.

It was indescribable.

The pain could not be explained and he wasn't aware of anything anymore. He suddenly could not use any of his senses. He didn't know if he was screaming or not. He couldn't tell if anything was happening because he couldn't hear himself, nor could he feel his vocal cords growing sore as the pain in his forehead masked it. The agony started to subside in what felt like an eternity.

When his sight started growing clearer, he saw elders looking down at him with disgust. His brother's mouth was open in shock and he was staring at his hands. His own father stood over him and looked at his state without any sympathy, then at the bruise on the heir's cheek.

"Do it again," he demanded.

"Father," Hiashi's voice shook. It was the first time Hizashi had ever heard him falter. "I—I ca—is it really necessary?"

"Do it!" he bellowed. "If you are ever to rule the clan you must be able to inflict the curse mark like I taught you to!"

"Please Hiashi," he whimpered, "Please don't,"

"Address him with the proper suffix, branch scum,"

"I—I'm sorry, Hiashi-sama,"

"Son, do it now! Don't show branch members any mercy. You let them beg, but you do not ever grant their requests. They must know their place within the clan."

But Hiashi didn't move. He shook. For a moment, Hizashi was relieved, glad that his brother really did have some compassion, even after inflicting the seal on him himself. Yet his father quickly brought his hands together and the pain was present once again, this time even worse than it was before. Those hands were experienced. They had struck pain into countless branch members, rather than just one.

He wished he could pass out but he didn't. He wondered if this was the end for him. Would they even find his body? His hands gripped at his hair, his scalp so numb that he didn't know how much he could have ripped out. It could have been days when the pain finally started to ease. Yet it was still night, the footprints still fresh on the dirt.

Hizashi couldn't hear it but he felt a warm presence drift near. A huge bird landed by his side and a girl jumped off, gathering his forehead protector and pressing an ice pack to his head. It didn't completely ease the pain but it helped and he blindly reached out to whoever had provided him with the relief. She took his hand and let him squeeze it as hard as he could, even when he may as well have crushed her bones.

The girl carried him onto the back of the bird, he decided it could only be an owl from the silence, and they flew off.

"Asuka?" he breathed. "Is it you? Am—Am I alive?"

It was only then when he heard her sobs as she wiped his tears away with her finger. It stung when she touched his cheeks from the tears he didn't even know he had shed. The rush of wind blowing past them as she held him on top of her owl soothed the pain on his skin but did nothing for the agony in his temples.

"You're alive, Hizashi. I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry." she cried. "You're going to be ok, we'll be at Kenji's house in seconds."

"It hurts," he whimpered. "It hurts."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry,"

She apologized over and over again, though he didn't know or ask why. The owl fluttered by a window and rapped its claws along the glass until their teammate saw. Kenji was didn't have his prosthetics on so he stumbled out of bed and used his hands to propel himself towards the window at an alarming speed, cranking it open so she tumbled in, dragging Hizashi with him. She still pressed the ice pack to his head and tears were still streaming down his face.

"What the hell happened?" Kenji asked as he strapped on a pair of legs and removed the ice pack from Hizashi's forehead and replacing it with the back of his palm. His eyes widened when he realized that it heated up seconds after removing it. "How did he get this fever?"

Asuka cried even harder. "It's not a fever. It's the curse mark."

And the seal was still glowing.

His groans filled Kenji's apartment and his parents rushed in the room, shocked to see their child's teammate clutching at his head, another teammate crying over him, and the pain he seemed to be in. The medical ninja quickly explained the situation and took out his summoning scroll. He bit his finger and with a poof, a small needle and a vial labelled "morphine" appeared. After measuring a small amount of the drug, he took out a tourniquet to find a vein in Hizashi's arm. However, his skin was so pale and the veins already protruded from the tension and all he had to do was look to inject the morphine into his system.

Hizashi's screams and moans were finally reduced to small whimpers.

"I've been working in the hospital for almost 5 years," Kenji broke the chain of unspoken words. "I admit, I may not ever be as talented as Tsunade, but that also means I have dealt with more traumas, cases that don't require 12-hour surgeries, far more patients than she had at my age because I treat everyone, not just the serious ones. In these five years, I have heard screams louder than his and eyes swollen shut from crying but I don't think I have ever and will never see someone in so much pain, physical and mental. I would even go so far and say that the curse mark functions by combining the user and the receiver's emotions, throwing it into the mind, and turning it into pain. Usually, someone would have passed out from how much of it he was experiencing, and I think he endured it without falling unconscious because that was just a part of the torture."

The medical-ninja switched the melted ice pack for a fresh one. "Hizashi, please tell us what happened."

The deathly pale sixteen-year-old looked at Asuka for permission and she nodded. "It's your story to tell, not mine."

"Wait, what do you have to do with this—" Kenji interrupted, then saw the way they were gazing at each other. "Oh...oh...oh shit."

"Hiashi has liked Asuka since the Academy, as I'm sure you know. After he realized that she would never see him the same, he, uh, he ordered me not to make any advances on her."

"But you did," their teammate sighed.

"No, I did," she said. "I—I did. It's my fault. If—If I hadn't then none of this would have happened. You wouldn't be—"

"It's not your fault," Hizashi said soothingly, slowly sitting up. "You can't blame yourself."

"But."

"He's right," Kenji replied. "Is it ok for you to tell us what happened next?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't know why, but Hiashi was watching us. We argued and I told him that he was emotionless and called him out on the way he was treating us. He punched me and we started attacking each other. I was about to knock him out before he—he activated the cursed seal."

Even his forehead hurt by thinking of it, and Hizashi winced in pain. They set him down and lay his head back on the pillow. He continued to tell them what happened, how Hiashi refused to activate the seal again so his father did, and how he begged for them to stop.

"What about you two? What's gonna happen now?" Kenji asked. "Will you still be together?"

"No," said Asuka.

"Yes," Hizashi replied at the same time.

The two looked at each other uncomfortably, then at the medical ninja.

"Don't look at me! I'm worried for you too and you probably need to figure out what you'll be from now on. Dating? Secret lovers? Friends with benefits?"

The kunoichi nearly passed out of a nosebleed at his last comment. "N—No. I won't let us go on. You can't suffer more because of me."

"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, failing miserably to bring light into the situation. "Wow, I'm glad you thought of me as your boyfriend in the first place."

"I—"

"What if you do keep whatever you have going on?" Kenji asked. "I'm rooting for your safety, but if you guys can be safe and dating or whatever, I want that for you two. If you keep—er…this, will Hiashi continue to activate the curse?"

"I don't think he will choose to. I can only hope that he has enough humanity left to let us be."

"Do you really think so?"

"He's my brother. Hopefully, he will put aside his anger and remember that."

Originally wasn’t going to post the other parts on Tumblr but I caved.

#hizashi hyuga #hiashi hyuga #hyuga clan #hizashi #oc #naruto #narutoverse #if charli d'amelio had a minimal look instead of the instagram influencer look she'd be asuka's faceclaim but i just realized it #raspberryfanfics

[video-killed-the-radio-host]

Dignus Es, (reuploaded because Tumblr was being dumb)

@acealex-blueiguana and I wrote this lovely piece of angst(with a happy ending of course!)  I'm honored to be able to have Michael in my writing, along with the amazing writting of Alex. After a three day(give or take) game of writer tag and 8k words later, here it is. 

Cecil didn't think anything of it when Michael started coughing. Michael was always coughing. Of course he wanted to put an end to it. Cecil would lay his life down for Michael. But there wasn't anything he could do to help. Legally anyway. So he forced himself to settle for doing his best during office hours.Thanks to his third eye, he saw everything. The third eye was both a blessing and a curse. He used it during the shows to get the most accurate facts. Cecil was also plagued with visions of things he didn’t want to see. He saw everytime Michael was hit. Everytime he was starved. Everytime he was attacked. It kept him up at night and shook him to his very core.

He knew he could never say anything to Michael about it because he knew Michael would shut himself away even more or maybe stop coming to work at all. Cecil didn’t know if he could handle that. He would get the visions at random times; talking to Carlos, on the air once or twice, in the shower, at the market, or the dead of night.

At the moment, Cecil sprawled shirtless across the bed, his shirt tossed to the side. His face and chest were flushed a bright lavender color and his eyes-all three- were screwed shut as Carlos peppers kisses down his neck, leaving gentle bites in his wake. He scrapes his teeth over the collar bone, making Cecil gasp and squirm.

“Carlos! Don’t tease.” He wines.

Carlos just made a humming noises and kisses down his torso. Just as he reaches the belly button, Cecil’s eyes snap open and his body goes rigid. His skin lost its warmth as a brilliant violet light shone from Cecil’s forehead. Carlos sits up with concern on his face.

“Cecil?”

Cecil was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes unseeing. Carlos carefully climbs back up to the head of the bed, all thoughts of sex gone from his mind as he cradles Cecil’s head and rubs slow, small circles into the taller man’s temples. He learned the hard way that it’s dangerous to try and pull Cecil out of a vision. The only thing he could do was wait them out. Then he would take care of him. He felt hot tears hit his palm and knew instantly that this was a vision that had to do with Michael. Those tended to be the worst. Cecil started to shake and tightens his fists in the sheets. Carlos knew that Cecil wanted nothing more than to go down to that house and tear the ‘parents’ apart. Carlos didn’t blame him. He felt the same way. But they couldn’t. Not now.

It wasn’t long before Cecil jerked upright with a hoarse scream.

He looked around blindly, his eyes still wide. Carlos reaches over and carefully puts the purple frames on Cecil’s face.

“Hey. You’re okay. Are you with me?” Carlos asks. He knew it was very much not okay but he needed to calm Cecil down at the moment.

“Carlos…” Cecil breaths softly. His face crumpled the way it did just before he broke down.

“I know love.” Carlos reaches out and brushes his knuckle down Cecil’s cheek, catching the tears.

“He-and-and t-they-” He takes a deep shuddering breath. He couldn’t bring himself to go on, but the images were burned into his mind. Instead, he draws his knees up and wraps his arms around himself. “I feel so dirty.” He whispers. He then looks up at Carlos. “I hate them.”

Being hated by Cecil was a heavy sentence. He truly hated very few people. When Cecil Palmer hated you, you knew it.

“More than Steve?” Carlos asked, not even sure why.

“More than Lauren.”

Damn. Carlos should have expected that answer, but that answer held a lot held a lot of weight.

“Carlos?” The soft question brought Carlos out of his head. He turned his attention back to Cecil, who’s eyes were puffy and red but dry now.

“Yes?”

“Will you make me a bath? And then hold me?”

“Of course.” He starts to lean over but stops himself, knowing Cecil was sensitive like this. “May I?”

Cecil inclines his head with a small grateful smile. “Yes.”

Carlos presses a gentle kiss to Cecil’s forehead before standing. “I’ll be right back to get you. Don’t go anywhere.”

He steps out of the room and into the bathroom. He starts the water after chanting at the faucet. He pulls down the lavender, ylang-ylang, frankincense and chamomile oils, mixing them together before adding them to the bath. Once the tub was full, Carlos turns the water off and stands, his knees groaning in protest. He returns to the bedroom to find Cecil curled up on his side, lazily tracing patterns in the blanket with his index finger.

“I got your bath all set up.” Carlos says, unable to help the small smile on his face. He offers his hand when Cecil looks up at him. Cecil takes his hand and Carlos lets out a soft yelp at how cold he is. Cecil gives a sheepish smile in return.

“Sorry.”

“Come on. Let's get you warmed up.”

He slowly leads Cecil to the bathroom, helps him finish stripping and eases him into the bathtub, situation his long limbs. Cecil lets out a long sigh and he relaxes. Carlos sits in the floor facing Cecil, who had his closed again. But this time it wasn’t in fear. Just in relaxation.

“Carlos?”

“Yes?”

“Will you sing to me?”

“Which song?”

Cecil is quiet for a moment. “The one you were singing earlier?”

Carlos smiles a little. He taps his foot on the floor to keep a beat. “I swear you got me acting crazy

Half the time I don't know what my name is

I'm the kind that like to take it slow and lazy

And girl you got me running hot and haziest

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never loved before

Boy you got me burning like a rocket

You stole my heart and stuck it in your pocket

Now I got your face inside my locket

I've really tried but I don't think I can stop it baby

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never loved before.” Carlos reaches out and takes Cecil’s hand. “You sat beside me last night on the sofa

I took your hand and pulled you a little closer

You kiss my lips and then you let me hold you

That feels the way that love supposed to baby

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never loved before

You held the door when we went to the movies

I like your quirky sneaky sense of humor

You're strong and sweet and all the things I needed

You're the one that keeps my heart beating baby

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never loved before

Oh, my heart stops beating

When it's time for you to leave me

Yeah, and my head starts spinning

Every time that you are near me

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never

Oh, I love you like I never loved before.” Carlos drags the last note out, noting the light blush starting to spread across Cecil’s cheeks. He brings his free hand up to move brush his thumb over Cecil’s cheekbones. “You are something else, you know that?”

“Well that is what I’ve been told.” Cecil answers. His eyes flutter closed.

Cecil looked so different when he was relaxed. He looked older than he was, and he had bags under his eyes. His long eyelashes curl against his cheeks. The man is exhausted. Of course he is. With all he goes through on a daily basis. Cecil made a noise and shifts in the water, making some overflow the lip of the tub and splash on Carlos’ pants.

“I can feel you watching me.” Cecil says without opening his eyes.

“I’m a scientist. Observing is part of what I do.” Came the soft answer.

Cecil opens his eyes a little. “Want to wash my hair?”

“You’re okay for me to touch you?”

“Your touch keeps me grounded. I need that right now.” Cecil looks up at him, his expression soft, open, vulnerable.

“Yeah.” Carlos smiles just a little. “Okay.” He reaches over and picks up the bottle, shifting to his knees. He pours the soap onto his palm, rubbing it between his fingers before starting to wash Cecil's long, soft hair. Cecil's hair always made Carlos jealous, no matter how perfect Cecil claimed his own was. Cecil's was always soft and tangle free no matter how many days he goes without brushing it or how he twisted it around his heard. His own hair was always a mess of tangled curls that he just pulled into a ponytail and that was that. Carlos slides his fingers through the blonde silk before putting his hands in the water to rinse his hands off.

“Close your eyes.” He says, reaching over to tilt Cecil's chin up. Cecil makes a noise to show he understood and closed his eyes. Carlos picked on the cup sitting on the floor, dipping it into the water and pouring it over Cecil's head. The soap suds run down into the water. Cecil makes a humming noise, arching his back. Carlos chuckles. He finishes rinsing out the soap.

“All done.”

Cecil looks up at him. “Thank you.”

Carlos kisses his forehead, over the third eye. “Let's get you to bed. You look dead on your feet.”

“I feel it.”

Carlos reaches over and picks up the fluffy towel, offering his hand to help Cecil stand. Cecil wraps the goal around his waist and looks around.

“Sit.” Carlos says gently. He eases Cecil onto the toilet and grabs the hair dryer. He clicks it on and starts to dry Cecil's hair.

“You know I can do it right?” Cecil asked, having to raise his voice to be heard.

Carlos clicks the hair dryer off. “I know. But I'm taking care of you tonight.”

Cecil opens his mouth to protest but Carlos turns the hair dryer back on and finishing the task at hand. He then picks up a hair brush and after brushing out the mess before putting it up into a well practiced French braid that looked good despite Cecil's constant wiggling.

“Come on. Let's get you to bed.”

Cecil shivers, as if he just remembered he was naked. “Can I wear your shirt? The red one?”

Carlos gives a little smile. He expected the question. “Of course.” He holds out his hands, which Cecil took and stands, letting himself be lead to the bedroom. Cecil sits on the bed after pulling on a pair of boxers and watches as Carlos digs in the dresser, pulling out the flannel. It was the flannel he was wearing when he met Cecil all those years ago. He hands it over and Cecil puts it on. It hung on the thin man’s frame and the sleeves were to long. Cecil hurriedly buttons it, not seeming to care if it was crooked. Carlos found it absolutely adorable. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls his hair down and set his glasses on the nightstand. He carefully takes Cecil’s from his face and sets them beside his own before laying down and opening his arms in invitation. Cecil lays down, snuggling close. His head over Carlos’ heart. Carlos left the light on until Cecil was asleep, which didn’t take long at all. Once the other man’s breath evened out and deepened, Carlos reaches over and turned the lamp off.

-----.-----

Cecil arrived at the station early the next day, per Management's request. He makes his way to the breakroom to make coffee, rubbing the side of his face to wake up, though he isn’t truly awake until after his second cup of coffee. The coffee pot was being espically honery today and skidded across the table.

“Don’t make me bolt you to the counter again.” Cecil threatens. “Don’t think I won’t.”

The coffee pot went still and Cecil got his coffee. He sips it with a soft moan but that’s when the flash of white caught his eye. Crouching down to instcpt, Cecil dropped his mug. It hit the tile and shattered, making coffee spill across the floor. He picked up the white petals, feeling his breath catch in his throat. He knew exactly what that meant. He brings his hand up to touch the base of his throat where the bloom sat six years ago. He swallows thickly and upon closer inspection, he realizes the petals are that of the morning glory. Cecil feels his blood run cold. He didn’t want to be the reason someone died. That on top of trying to save Michael and the horrors of the day to day might be enough to actually break his mind. He cleans up the flowers and the broken glass and coffee before leaving the breakroom. The petals were fresh, as they were still wet. That meant whomever they belonged to was in the station. He was pretty sure if wasn’t Station Management so that left the interns and the Scotts.

Cecil makes his way through the station, starting with the bathroom. The bathroom was empty save for Khoshekh. The cat blinks slowly at Cecil when he entered and made a noise that resembled a purr.

“Hey Khoshekh. Did you see someone in here?” Cecil asks, petting the cat’s ear carefully.

Khoshekh hovers quietly.

“Hm. Thanks anyway.” Cecil gives one last pay before leaving the cat to do whatever it is he does during the day. Just down the hall was the intern breakroom. Cecil didn’t particularly like going in that room. The ever growing intern shrine always made guilt clench his heart. Taking a breath, Cecil steps into the room. He pointedly didn’t look at the shrine as he walks further into the room. More petals near the couch. Cecil’s heart sank. It was an intern. Yet again, Cecil would be the cause of a child’s death. Then he hears it. The faint coughing. Springing to his feet, Cecil runs from the intern break room. The sound was coming from the recording booth. He pushes the door open and looked around the desk. The sight made him stumble back with a gasp. Then he rushed forward, dropping to his knees amongst the flowers, petals and blood spatters.

“Michael?” He could hear the panic in his own voice. “Can you hear me?”

Michael doesn’t respond to Cecil’s frantic question. It’s not like he could if he wanted to. His vision is full of dark spots and everything sounds muffled as he continues to hack up his lungs. Petals upon petals spill onto the floor in front of him and most bear his blood. He’s doubled over on the ground as he keeps coughing.

After a long minute of struggling around the flowers in his throat, Michael is finally able to breathe again. Gasping for air, his entire body shakes, but eventually he opens his eyes. His hands are speckled with his blood as they rest on the petals in front of him. That’s when he notices he’s no longer alone.

“I-I’m sorry, Ceec…’ll-’ll clean it up… m s-sorry…” The choking boy wheezes as he tries to pick up all the flowers.

Cecil nearly passed out from relief. “Oh thank god. You're alive.” He breathed. He put his hand on Michael's. “Stop. You don't need to do that. Michael, when did this start?” He asks softly. “Why didn't you tell me?”

Why didn't I see?

The kid stalls when Cecil rests his hand on his. “Have t clean the- the booth...s my job…” his voice is merely a hoarse whisper. “I-I dunno...few weeks? Maybe- maybe a month or- or two?” Michael’s cut off as he painfully coughs up a bloody morning glory. “s- s not your problem...Mother and-and Father said-” He can’t finish his sentence as he doubles over again, cupping his hands to his mouth to catch the petals and blood.

It very much is my problem. Cecil feels his heart hurt watching the scene in front of him.

“You should have told me. I wish I had known.” He reaches over and brushes away a petal that had gotten stuck to Michael's bottom lip. He blamed himself for not noticing. He knew the signs. Hell, he had them himself. He should have seen. Should have helped. “I-i should have known.”

Michael tenses at Cecil's words and tries not to flinch when he brushes the stuck petal away. He instinctively holds his breath, but the lump of flowers in his lungs says differently and causes him to choke even more. His thin frame was trembling as he forced another blossom out of his lungs. He winced at the amount of blood on them. But what really worried him was the purple dahlia petals. He quickly pushed the pile together to hide the few purple ones among the morning glories.

"m-m s-sorry... didnt want- I didn't want you to be mad... or- or laugh at it..." He draws in a shuddering breath that causes a whistling noise. "Was scared you'd react like Mother and Father...tried to- tried to keep it hidden... didn't want you t be mad at me for- for making a mess...m s-sorry..."

Cecil's expression softens. “I'm not mad and this is no laughing matter.” He felt that he was a bit of a hypocrite in this situation. He did hide his own suffering for a year. “I care about you too much to watch you be hurt. Or suffering.” He leans forward on his hands a bit. “I'm not mad. About the mess or otherwise. But I can't help you if I don't know.”

Cecil was concerned at the number of full blossoms that were being coughed up, and the amount of blood that came with them.

"Classmates laugh...more fuel for them...find it funny t kick til petals cover the ground..." Michael's voice is hardly above a whisper. He's scared of how Cecil will react, but based on what he knows he won't have to live with the consequences for that long. "You-you know now?" He tries to joke. Tries to make Cecil feel better, but he knows it likely won't work.

His lips are slick with his own blood, but he still tries to give the radio host a reassuring smile. It disappears quickly as he begins to cough again. Three full morning glories, stained red, and a fistful of dahlia petals. He tries to cover them, but he knows it's likely too late. If Cecil wasn't mad before, then he will be now.

Cecil opened his mouth to stop the jokes as none of this was funny but the purple petals caught his eye as soon they left Michael's mouth. He knew exactly what those petals meant and who they were for.

“Oh dear.” He says, voice shaking despite him trying to remain calm. Truthfully he was on the verge of flipping out. “This is worse than we thought.” Pulling his sleeve over his hand, he gently wipes Michael's face. “I think you've grown a second bud. I've never heard of that before.” The last part was whispered, barely audible.

He always knew he would never live to see himself turn 18. Michael had accepted that long ago. He always knew he was unlovable; his parents reminded him every day. They were happy the day he spit up the first petal all those weeks ago. They knew he would finally be out of their hair. They made snide remarks when he choked and yelled when he got blood or petals on anything.

That was when he decided to hide it from Cecil. He loved Cecil and Carlos. He knew it wasn't a good idea the first time he started feeling it. Cecil and Carlos were good people. They were good people who decided to take in a broken thing, and this is how he would die. Most would likely cry at dying this way, but to Michael it was the best way he could go. It was extremely painful, but then again what part of his life wasn't? He was happy to know that for once in his life he felt love towards not one but two people. In another life Michael wished they were his parents and not the Richardsons. But that was impossible. He was trapped in that house, and he was certain it would be his grave.

The morning glories were more developed than the dahlias. To Michael it was obvious why. He had known Cecil far longer than Carlos, and he spent more time with the radio host than the scientist. That being said, Michael still coughs blooming dahlias among the morning glories. The entire first month was full of white petals, and come the next month it was white and purple.

The boy closed his eyes as he focuses on breathing. "Its okay, Ceec-y...m-m ready...ve been ready for- for years now..." His voice strained. More purple petals spill from his mouth as he coughs again. A single bloody morning glory landing on top of the purple dahlias.

Cecil balls his fists against his pant legs and shakes his head. “I refuse to believe that.” His voice is surprisingly steady. “I can't- I'm not-” He takes a deep breath, trying to get his thoughts in order. “You don't deserve to die like this. Not when-” His voice cracks at the end. “You have so much life left to live and experience.” He ducks his head as his tears start to overflow his eyes, hitting his hands. “I don't care if-if it's selfish of me, but I don't want you to die. I want you to live. I need you in my life. I want-” he pauses again to take a deep breath. “I know what they do to you. I mean I didn't see….this, for some reason….but everything else. I saw it. And it isn't right. And I love you too much to let you die without doing something-anything- to help you. Please.” He drops to a whisper. “Just live long enough to let me help you.”

Michael tries to wipe away Cecil's tears, but his fingers are stained with his own blood and accidentally smears onto the host’s face. He pulls back as he chokes on the flowers again. Spitting more purple than white, but they were strangling him nonetheless. He's seeing spots again when he finally stops coughing.

The dying boy shakes his head. "Dont- dont lie...please dont lie...not now...you'll get a- a better intern...one that doesn't make you miss or-or late..." Michael wheezes and groans. "H-hurts...it-it hurts...m-m sorry..." His vision does not clear. Then he remembers his binder, and he cant get enough air into his lungs. His arms shake as they try to keep him from falling into the bloody petals. His entire world is dimming and spinning. “m s-sorry, Mr. Ce-Cecil”

“I don't want a better intern! I want you!” Cecil cries out. He digs in his pocket and pulls out his phone, hitting the first number on the speed dial. It rang once before the line was picked up.

“Hello beautiful.”

“How far from the station are you?” Cecil asks, his voice wet again.

“I'm just leaving the house…..what's wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen?”

“Just….get here as fast as you can. Please. I need you.” That's all he manages to get out before breaking down again. He sets the phone aside and cradles Michael's face. “Stay with me. Look at me. Carlos is coming. We can stop this.” He is begging now. “Please don't leave me.” He takes Michael's hand in his own. “Please. Stay. I love you.”

Michael hardly reacts when Cecil yells, only flinching a tad bit. He's trying to use the last of his energy to stay awake. He wants to say goodbye to Carlos before he never sees them again. Michael slumps into Cecil as he chokes on blood and flowers. The boys eyes are foggy as he fights to keep them open and focused on the radio host.

"m unlovable...always have been...m s-sorry..." His eyes flutter close as he gasps and suffocates.

“No. Nononono. No no no.” Cecil growls out. “You are not taking him from me in this way.” He is sending the threat to no one in particular but that doesn't matter. Cecil lays Michael flat on the floor. He presses his hands onto the boy's chest, and that's when he felt the binder. He whispers a quick apology, not that it mattered at this point, before reaching under Michael's shirt and pulling the binder off. He then starts chest compressions and reciting every prayer and incantation that he can recall. He does his best to keep the movement steady before leaning down and blowing. He came up with a mouthful of purple petals, spitting them into the floor and continuing. The more he pushed, the more petals came up. It was like an endless river. He refused to just give up though, no matter how long this took. Then he heard running footsteps. His pressing faltered slightly when he looked up.

“Oh my god.” Carlos says, his face going pale. “Did you know?”

“No!” Cecil snaps, counting under his breath. Carlos can see his arms shaking as he struggled. He watches Cecil lean over and press his lips to Michael, only to come up with a mouthful of purple petals. Purple dahlia petals. Carlos felt his heart clench.

“Cecil.” Carlos says softly, crossing the room and sitting down beside them. “He isn't breathing. I think-”

“Don't you dare finish that sentence Carlos Fernando Mendez-Palmer.” Cecil growls, though his resolve is cracking. “I refuse to let him die here. Now you can either help me or go get me someone who can.”

Carlos knows he can't do anything to stop this, short of restraining Cecil and making the man hate him. “Here. Let me. You can't keep a steady rhythm when you're shaking so much.” He shifts to his knees and puts his hands over Cecil's, starting compressions once again. He can feel Cecil trembling beneath his hands like a wet chihuahua. “Look at me.” He says softly.

Showing obvious hesitance, Cecil does so.

“Do you really think we have a chance of saving him?”

The scientist side of Carlos is telling him that it isn't possible, but this was Night Vale after all. This was Cecil of all people.

“I do.” It was whispered, scared, but honest. “I really do. He deserves for us to try. We owe him that.”

With that, Cecil leans back down, extracting yet another mouthful of purple petals. The ever growing pile beside him was alarmingly large. Carlos kept their hands pushing, in hopes of finding even the slightest heartbeat.

“Come on Michael.” Carlos says. “Come back to us pez pequeño. I need you to come back. I'll fight your parents myself if I have to.”

He's not sure how much time has passed, but Michael was growing colder by the minute.

Michael's floating in a void. But the first thing he notes is his ability to breathe. His airways are clear, and hes can actually take deep breaths. Its peaceful. Its painless. And he's been here before, though this one seems to have changed. The last time he wasn't able to feel anything at all, but now he can feel something. He's not quite sure if it's a good thing yet.

Regardless, he has to make a decision soon. To go back to the world of pain and suffering or to accept the void and continue onward. If Michael's being honest, he's scared to go forward. He's always gone back home. It's not safe, but it is familiar.

He thinks for only a moment of leaving the world behind, but then he remembers the people he loves. He never got to say goodbye to them. Not properly anyway.

That's when he feels pressure on his chest. A constant steady beat. Hes felt this before. Then the feeling of air being forced into his lungs. They're fighting for him? But why? Likely because he didn't clean up his mess before being rude and dying there. So Michael fights back. Trying to latch onto the sensations to slowly drag himself back to his body. Back to Cecil and Carlos.

Carlos keeps pushing, looking up to find Cecil pulling a full blossom out of his mouth. He makes a face and sets it aside.

“Just so you know,” Cecil says, wiping his mouth before laying his hands over Carlos’. “Your flowers taste terrible.”

Carlos gives a dry chuckle. “I do apologize. I'll keep that in mind.”

Cecil looks up and meets Carlos’ eyes. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Cecil, you are crazy.” Carlos holds up his hand when Cecil opens his mouth to protest. “ But I know that when you truly believe in something, you are unstoppable. A force that can't be moved. I made a vow to stick by you and I intend to keep that promise.”

Michael's fighting like hell to escape the void. He knows he will be back here again, but he has to say goodbye. He has to. So he keeps clawing and kicking to get back to his body. He's not fully there yet, but he's making progress.

Michael's fingers twitch slightly.

Cecil gives a fond little smile before he felt something twitch against his leg. He gives a soft gasp. “Carlos.” He breathes.

“Hm?”

“He moved! It's working. Oh god.” Cecil babbles. “Its working. Michael? Michael? Can you hear me?”

'Vaguely. It's all muffled, Mr. Radio Host.' Michael says to himself. He's still stuck in the void, but he can feel himself getting closer to coming back.

But just as he almost gets there, he feels trapped in a vacuum. He can't breathe. His body isn't strong enough yet. The flowers in his lungs are still making it near impossible to breathe. 'Don't stop! Please! I cant breathe on my own!'

The boy's fingers twitch again before stilling. His chest not rising or falling on his own. His blood stained lips still tinted blue.

“Cecil, you have to keep going. He isn’t breathing yet.” Carlos says, pressing his hands down harder. He watches Cecil lean back down. More petals were pulled out then whole flowers. They were still bloody at this point. At this point, Cecil’s lips were as red as Michael’s, due to being pressed against the boy’s lips. Cecil was still whispering under his breath, but what, Carlos couldn’t make out. It likely wasn’t in English.

Cecil keeps pulling the petals, his tongue raw from the soft, bloody petals. He didn’t care.

“Quod si non lux lucet in Penitus,

SAECULA extra fluxus et non abscondam.

Quod lucet in anima,

Curaret facere decrevi.

Sic luceat lux vestra hoc mirabilis,

Auxilium meum dolorem miserere mei: sana ut-nocte.

Memoria mea lux vestra introrsus

Adducere pax et caritas, neque plures in sempiternum". He prays desperately. It was rare that he used this level of desperation, but it was necessary now. Leaning down, Cecil draws out yet another mouthful. He spits them out and sits up, catching his breath. He takes a deep breath and then leans back down.

Agony. Michael was in absolute agony. In the void he couldn't die. He was already dead or, well, dying, so not being able to breathe was excruciating. Relief came with more pain. The pressure on his chest tripled, but then air was filling his lungs. Pressure was removed from his lungs everytime his body was made to exhale. It ached, but luckily he couldn't feel it that much. All he knew was that they were still fighting, so he would too. So he dragged himself closer to the door. Closer to Cecil and Carlos.

Cecil watches Michael's face closely for any sign over movement. Carlos kept the compressions going but Cecil was concerned. He knows he felt the movement and it wasn't just in his head. It couldn't be. He used his sleeve to clean the blood away from Michael's mouth, seeing that they were still blue tinted but not near as bad.

“I know you can do this.” He whispers. “Come back to me.” He blows again, forcing more air into the child's lungs.

‘I'm trying, Ceec.’ Michael whispers. Hes so close now, but it's like the void has changed its mind. It doesn't want him to leave anymore. There's a heavy force pushing against him.

It takes everything in him to get to the door frame. Hes clinging to it as the force tries to pull him back. It wants to keep him forever, but Michael has to go back. ‘I have to say goodbye.’

Michael's fingers twitch again and there's brief movement beneath his eyelids.

Cecil doesn't notice the movement. His own eyes are closed as he pushed more air in. Less petals and flowers were coming up, which Cecil assumed was a good thing. He pulls up, looking down again. He stared down and bites his lip in worry. “Come on…”

“Again.” Carlos says. “I saw his finger twitch. We're closer.” He felt the hope bubbling up in his chest. Is this really happening? He asked, feeling a slight tingle in his fingertips.

Michael barely manages to reach the door knob, but he twists as soon as he can. The door pushes open, and Michael falls through.

Michael jerks up as he gasps for air. Wheezing around the flowers, he spits petals and blood. His memory is fuzzy, but it felt a lot less than before he died. Regardless, the boy trembles as he coughs and gasps for air.

Cecil falls back, spitting the last of the petals out. He gives a strangled cry of relief. “Oh thank the gods.”

Carlos jerked his hands back as Michael sits up. He nearly gets smacked in the head. “Woah. Easy. Deep breaths. Slowly.” He instructs. He gives a wairy smile. “You gave us quite a scare there.”

“Had to- had to come back.” Michael rasps. “Didn't- I didn't get to say goodbye.”

The young boy squeezes his eyes closed as he whimpers in pain and coughs up more flowers. The morning glories are completely red now, and the dahlias are a deep maroon.

“I needed to say ‘I love you’ and ‘goodbye.’” he whispers.

“What? No. No.” Cecil shakes his head. “No.” He reaches out and takes Michael’s hand. “Please don’t.” He begs. His feeling of relief was instantly replaced with cold dread.

Carlos reaches over and touches Michael’s arm. “I love you Michael. But I don’t want to say goodbye. Not yet. Not here.” His voice was surprisingly steady as he talked.

Michael weakly shakes his head before coughing up more bloody petals. “Don't- don't lie...p-plea-” he's cut off by another painful coughing fit. “m n-not able to be loved...accepted it years ago…” The dying boy pauses. He tries to give Cecil a reassuring smile, but his teeth are stained with his blood. The lopsided smile that took so much time for the couple to earn was now matching the morning glories on the floor around them. “s-s okay, Ceec. m ready...don't- don't need t lie, Carlos.” He doubles over again, but this time even more blood came with the flowers.

“You're wrong.” Cecil chokes out. “You are loved. I love you.” His heart broke at the scene in front of him. If Michael dies here, he would never set foot in this booth again. He couldn't.

“Michael, I never lie about who I love. And I love you. Please….” Carlos meets his eyes best he could. “Don't let this end here. Don't let their lies keep you from being happy. Don't” He takes a deep breath and pushes his hair back. “Don't die.”

The boy shakes his head as he coughs. More blood and petals pooled on the floor but it was less than the coughing fit before. Whether or not he recognized or admitted it, hearing them say those words were keeping him alive.

"I'm not...I don't deserve-" Michael chokes on more petals and after he can breathe again he doesn't finish his sentence. 'I don't deserve love. Or happiness. Or life...'

“You do. Michael you deserve so much more than we can give you, so so much more.”

“That being said, we want to try. Help. Get you out of that hell hole. Because that's what you do for the people you love.”

'I deserve what happens at home...it's my fault." Michael shakes his thoughts out. "Never suppose to live this long...it hurts...but m glad I got t feel love towards you..." Michael spits more flowers up. His throat is shot from all the stress on it. "Th-thank you...you made it better...made it worth the pain...don't regret it..." he weakly whispers.

Cecil can't speak any more. He covers his mouth with his hand and sobbing softly. He keeps shaking his head to deny what was happening. Nononono no. Was this his punishment? For not doing anything when he first found out what was happening to Michael? Looks like you really do break everything you touch.

Carlos reaches over and pulls Cecil to him, shaking his head. “No. It's not your time yet.”

Fresh blood shines on Michael's lips. His eyes are losing their brightness again, and he curls into himself in pain as he throws up more flowers.

"Dont- dont cry...please...s not- s not worth it..." Michael wheezes. "Maybe ll join the- the lights above the Arby's...always thought they were neat..."

He feels like his lungs are ripping apart. Its immensely painful, but he tries to keep a brave face. He has to for Cecil. Carlos is a scientist, and he knows how to look after the host. But Cecil- he cant see the spark in the radio host's eyes go out. Not because of him.

Cecil takes a breath in, coughing on exhale. “It is worth it. You aren't listening to me.” He has to pause before he can go on. “You're a good listener so listen when I tell you that you are worth it. You are. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you when you needed it. And I'm sorry I didn't notice you suffering right in front of me all this time and-and I just watched them hurt you instead of figuring out some way some way to help you. I should have been better. Give me the chance to be better.”

Michael's heart aches at Cecil's words, and if he wasn't suffocating he would've tensed at the tone of his voice and word choices. He can't save himself. He's dying because hes unlovable. He knew he would likely die in this station. And he knew there was nothing he could do. He was dying now, and he can't do anything to stop it. He doesn't know how to stop it. So he makes a decision.

"I-I promise ll always love you. Both of you. Even when m gone, ll love you...the first people ve ever got t love." Michael holds his pinkie out towards the couple. It's the last thing he might ever do, but he never breaks a promise.

Carlos reaches over first to seal the promise. Cecil is still shaking and murmuring to himself. “Promise.” He says, swallowing thickly.

Slowly, Cecil uncurls himself and reaches out to join. “Promise.” It was a hoarse whisper, but there nonetheless.

Blood and petals pour from the dying kid's mouth. "I never break a promise… It's forever… They're everlasting." He rasps. Tears fall from his tide pod eyes as he curls into himself and coughs more bloody flowers. "It-it hurts...m s-sorry...it hurts..."

“Actually no.” It's Carlos that speaks. He pulls his hand away. Cecil makes a noise of surprise and confusion. “I'm not making this promise if it means that you die. I'm not letting you off that easily.”

“Carlos-”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Michael, you know we love you. I know for a fact you love us. You need to believe us. Because this…..this isn't something that gets used lightly and without meaning. Please.”

"Hngh" Michael wraps his arms around himself as the flowers grow and shift inside him. He chokes up three blood soaked purple dahlias and a single morning glory. 'Hes mad. He's mad and m dying and I can't fix it. Hes bound to hate me. I'm ruining the booth and breaking his husband.'

"m s-sorry...p-please dont- dont hate me...m tryi-" Michael's struggling to get air in his lungs. Dark spots begin to dance in his vision again. Hes fading fast.

Cecil is shocked at the roll reversal between them. “Michael, we don't hate you.”

“Do you want to die?” Carlos asks. “I don't think you do. I could be wrong but the saying is 'a scientist is never wrong’. Michael, I would do anything for you. Give up everything to see you happy. I-” he stops talking when Michael starts to struggle. “Shit.”  He presses his hands to the side of his face. Think. Think. “On your side.” He instructs. “Your lungs are filling up and being on your side could give you more time. I'm not ready to let you go yet. I just met you after all.”

Michael let's himself fall to his side as he chokes on more flowers and blood. They seem never ending. The air he manages to take in is small and causes a pained whistle sound as he breathes. He focuses more on air then talking. He said what he needed, and now he's dying again. He was destined to die when the disease required love. He's never truly been loved. People have said it but never meant it. He has no reason to believe this is any different.

“I-i c-cant. I can't Carlos. I did this. This is my fault.” Cecil squeezes his eyes shut. “I can't watch him die. Michael, I can't-i can't watch you die. I love you too much to watch this. I can't. I can't.” He puts his hands over his head. Cecil had experienced plenty heartbreak in his long life but nothing like this. It never hurt like this.

“Don't leave.” Carlos says. “He needs you to much.” He isn't sure who he was talking to but is desperate to get his point across.

Michael's vision is mainly all black now. His hearing is muffled. 'He said he loves me...' It takes all the air in Michael's lungs but he's set on trying. His body wasn't able to move his own hand off the ground, so he curled the fingers to only have his pinkie out.

"Promise- pinkie promise that you lov-" Michaels hoarse plea is cut off by more flowers and blood. He cant get enough air to finish.

Cecil stared at the pinkie for a moment, loathing pinkie promises. They seemed to lead to bad things. But he found himself reaching out to seal the promise.

“I promise. For the rest of all time.”

Carlos moves, leaning over and gently pulling the bloody blossom from Michael's mouth. “Promise.”

Michael squeezes his pinkie that's locked with Cecils. Immediately his chest spasms and he wretches more flowers and blood up. Blooming and blossoming purple dahlias, and a single dead and bloody morning glory. Michael's lungs are clear of one of the infecting flowers, and he's gasping for air amongst the purple ones. Where the morning glories were, the dahlias seem to immediately try to fill. The boy is still dying, but he's been given precious air and time.

“Progress.” Carlos says softly. “That's good at least.” He leans down on onto his folded arm so he was eye level with Michael. “Hey.” He says softly. “I want you to know that I am so proud of you for hanging on. No matter what life threw at you.” He pushed aside the flowers that were in front of them and reaches his hand out to brush Michael's hair behind his ear. “You are so….important to so many people. You just don't know it yet.”

Cecil listens to Carlos talk, running his fingers over Carlos’ hair. He looks at Michael and nods mutely. “He's right.”

Michael shakes his head as he wheezes. "Needed t say goodbye..." his body is wracked with another long coughing fit. Only deep maroon dahlias came up, dyed from Michael's blood. No more spare petals were to be seen. Only full blossoms of Carlos's flower. Only Cecil completed the pinkie promise, so only Cecil's flowers have died. Now with the dahlias completely filling his lungs, Michael cant breathe and this time it's because of Carlos. The scientist never finished, and that was the only promise Michael could trust.

“I love you.” Carlos whispers. “I promise.” He reaches out his hand and takes Michael's. “I mean it this time.”

The next fit is full of petals. Progress it would seem. Except it didn't stay for long. Michael is suffocating on the flowers, and Carlos's empty words don't stick. The dying boy closes his eyes as he begins to give up the fight.

He knows Cecil meant his words when he sealed the pinkie promise. Carlos hadn't done that. He tried to seal his words with more words. Empty things that can be filled with lies.

Blood dribbles out the corner of Michael's mouth as another pedal sticks to his bottom lip. His body goes slack. Only a slight rise and fall to show he's not yet dead.

“I'm going to be honest with you. I wasn't at all surprised when Cecil got attached to you rather quickly. I didn't know if it was the best idea, but then I met you and…..i understood. I saw what he got so taken to. You are unlike anyone I've ever met. Now, I've never been any good with kids. At all. But….i don't know. You make me feel…...protective?” Carlos pauses and bites his bottom lip before continuing. “I bet you think this is all empty words, don't you? But...its not. I'm terrible at talking about my feelings, you know this. I meant every word. I do love you and I know that you don't believe me. I would do anything for you to believe me.” His voice grows softer as he speaks.

Michael doesn't open his eyes as his eyelids are too heavy now. Besides his vision was full of spots, so what did it matter? His chest wasn't rising as much anymore, but it fell all the same. Not enough air anymore. No more time left. The "unlovable" boy is dying.

"Pin...kie...pro...mise?" Blood and petals fell out of his mouth as Michael used the last air he had. He couldn't do anything else, so he figured it'd be worth a shot. His chest stills. No more air gets it; the clock is ticking.

“Pinkie promise.” Carlos agrees. He shifts his hold on Michael's hand and wraps his pinkie around the smaller one. It was both a promise and a plea. A plea to stay. A plea to hold on..

Michael's pinkie twitches as it tries to lock the promise. Nothing happens. The boy is near unconsciousness. The kid is almost gone again. Lost forever to join the intern shrine.

But then he feels something shift in his lungs. Michael barely manages to suck in a breath, but it's enough. His grip on Carlos's pinkie tightens, and then he's coughing again.

Blood and a dead purple dahlia blossom.

Carlos finds himself holding his breath, his eyes searching Michael's face. He feels a wave of defeat when the boy's breath shallows. Not yet. Please. He begs whatever gods were listening. Or not listening. He slowly lets his breath out but when  Michael starts to cough again, Carlos gasped softy. He reaches over and picks up the flower, feeling the dead petals under his calloused fingers. He looks back at Michael.

“Michael?”

Michael coughs again, no flowers and only a little blood. He's swallowing air as his lungs burned for more. It takes him a minute before he's able to open his eyes. A weak, lopsided smile.

"Guess you're stuck with me?" Michael didn't think he'd survive that, but seeing Carlos and Cecil is a pleasant surprise. They promised to love him, so he knew they wouldn't leave him.

Cecil lets out a wet laugh of relief and climbs over Carlos to pull Michael carefully into a hug.

“I wouldn't have it any other way.” He pulls back just enough to wipe the fresh blood from his face. The dried blood would have to be washed off.

Carlos pulls himself up off of the floor. “A promise is a promise, is it not?” He smiles a little.

“I'll get someone to clean this up and then you probably need something to drink. I know I did.” Cecil looks around the room and his eyes fell on the discarded binder. He picks it up and hands it to Michael with a sheepish look. “I had to take it off to get you breathing again. I didn't see anything I swear!”

Michael tightens the hug, simply holding the binder in his hand. He definitely felt uncomfortable not having it on, but right now isn't the time to worry about that. He buries his head into Cecil's chest.

"Thank you." Michael's voice is rough from all the strain that his throat had, but somehow it still holds the gentleness it normally does. "I love you both."

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #wtnv carlos #cecil palmer #carlos the scientist #wtnv cecil #cecilos #au #micheal palmer #hanahaki #angst with a happy ending #angst #collab