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violentdelightsandviolentends · 10 months

Text

Honey Girl.

Synopsis - The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the Universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.

Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 5.1k

Warnings - cursing. sexual content towards the end. mild alcohol consumption. age gap. smut in next chapter(s).

Author's Note - part one is finally here!! thank you so much to everyone who asked to be tagged, and who liked and reblogged the masterlist. i am SO excited to share this with you. i've built this world in my head and trust me it is gorgeous - salty ocean breezes, sunsoaked sailboats and billowing white linen shirts. i hope you can lose yourself in my little seaside town with bucky for the time it takes you to read this, just as i did while writing it. i can't wait to write more of this series for you x

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback!) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Masterlist. Requests. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.

Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Six. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight.

Tethering /tɛð(ə)rɪŋ/

An event in which two soulmates are bound together forever. Only occurs when the Universe decides it is time. No sooner, no later.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

The gentle ocean breeze gives you a moment of respite from the scorching sun that's beating down. You're half asleep, laying on the cool tile of your balcony when your phone rings.

"Babe! Babe! Babe!"

"Lacie? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I am freaking out right now, oh my god. I didn't know who to call. You'll never guess what just happened to me!"

You can guess. In fact, you already have.

Lacie's Tethering. It's finally happened.

You're taught, growing up, that your Tethering is the biggest moment of your life. It shapes who you are forever. Sets you on your eternal path. You're presented with your soulmate in a big display of love and affection and metaphorical fireworks. It's supposed to be magical.

You wish people would shut up about it.

The World seems to be split into two categories - the people that have been Tethered, and the people that haven't.

You fall into the latter.

You're repeatedly told it'll happen one day. It'll happen when the time is right. It'll happen when you least expect it.

You're not sure you ever want it to happen.

The idea that the Universe determines the person you're with forever has never sat right with you. What happened to free will? What happened to personal preference? You believe you should at least have a choice in the matter. It's your future, after all.

Not everyone shares the same sentiment.

"Babe, you still there?"

Lacie's excitement filled voice pulls you back to reality.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Are you busy? Can you meet me for coffee, like, now?"

You take a deep breath and plaster a fake smile on your face.

"Sure. I'll see you in ten."

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

"Oh my god babe, it was just incredible! You won't even believe it. There's nothing like it, truly."

You remind yourself quickly that Lacie is your best friend, and that you owe it to her to be happy for her. Personal feelings about soulmates aside.

"Tell me all about it, Lace!" you encourage, grabbing a hold of her hand excitedly.

The blonde girl squeals before shuffling closer to you, pressing her knees against yours.

"Okay, so. Picture this. I'm at my gym, doing my usual routine. I'm wearing my super cute pink Lulu Lemon set, you know the one with the flowers?"

She waits for you to nod in affirmation before she continues.

"So, I accidentally drop a weight on the ground, and it makes the biggest noise. I'm super embarrassed, and I'm trying to pick it up, but it's so heavy. And then, the hottest guy I have ever seen appears. Like, seriously gorgeous."

As much as you despise the whole soulmate thing, you can't deny how happy Lacie seems. She's almost vibrating with it, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"He comes over and picks it up for me, sets in back on the rack. And then he introduces himself, and shakes my hand, and it happened."

"What was it like?" you smile, eager for her to carry on.

"Like fucking magic."

You've heard that before. A million times. From literally everyone. Surely it can't be that magical if billions of people have experienced it.

"Magic?" you prompt.

"It is indescribable, babe. It's like... it's like everything just falls into place. Like everything finally makes sense!"

She jumps out of her chair, hugging you tightly. She's practically sat on your lap in the coffee shop, but neither of you really care.

"So, what's his name? What's he like?"

"His name is Cameron. He's new in town, he just moved here for work. He's a personal trainer, so he's like, super fit. And gorgeous. Did I mention gorgeous?"

"Maybe once or twice," you laugh.

"I'm so happy," Lacie whispers, emotion choking her voice. "I can't believe it finally happened. This is the day I've been waiting for since I was a little girl."

You hug her tighter, and ignore the look you get from the barista.

"I love you," she declares, suddenly serious. "You know that me being Tethered now doesn't change that, right?"

"I know," you confirm. "I love you too, Lace. I'm really happy for you."

You genuinely mean it. Lacie has talked about meeting her soulmate every day since you met her in the 3rd grade. You may have never quite shared her enthusiasm, but you admire her passion. And you adore her, more than anyone.

"So, what now? Are you gonna get married tomorrow and run off into the sunset?"

"I'm choosing to ignore your sarcasm because I know you're using it as a coping mechanism," she tells you pointedly. "And I know that there's a tiny part of you that wishes you'd been Tethered already, so you don't have to deal with everyone talking to you about it."

Jackpot. She's read you like a book.

"No, we're not getting married tomorrow," she rolls her eyes before continuing, "but we are going on a real date tonight. We're gonna get dinner and get to know each other. Isn't this crazy? I'm going on a date with the guy I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life with!"

"That is kinda crazy, actually," you laugh. "What are you gonna wear?"

"It doesn't matter - we're going to be together forever anyway!"

You make Lacie promise to send you a picture of her outfit as you're leaving the coffee shop, which she agrees to with glee. On your way home, you pick up some of your Mom's favourite wine, and prepare yourself for another soulmate based conversation that will inevitably happen when you tell your parents the events of the day at dinner tonight.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

"Hi, sweetheart!" your Dad beams as you step through the front door of your childhood home.

"Hey, Dad," you greet, allowing him to pull you in for a hug. "Where's Mom? I brought wine."

"Kitchen," he gestures with a nod of his head. "She's making that mango dessert you like."

Walking into your Mother's kitchen is like dipping your feet into a pool on a scorching hot day. The windows are propped open, curtains billowing softly in the wind. The ocean breeze drifts through the room, ruffling your Mom's dress and floating the hair away from her face. The evening sun beams in, illuminating the space with a golden glow. It smells like fresh fruit, mint, and salt water. It's a haven.

"Hi, Mama."

"Oh, my love! Just in time. I was about to call you to see if you were alright."

She makes her way over to you and kisses you on the head swiftly, before walking to the cabinet to grab wine glasses.

"Sorry I'm a little later than I said. I changed my outfit three times - it's warmer than I thought it was going to be."

"I know! Summer, finally. We've been waiting long enough."

She takes the bottle of wine from your hand and pours it into the glasses.

"You've poured four, Mama."

"Didn't your Dad tell you? Bucky's joining us for dinner."

"Oh. No, he didn't mention anything."

"He's back from his vacation. He promised he'd show us all of the pictures he took!"

She grabs the glasses and floats out of the room, leaving you alone in the kitchen, thoughts of Bucky Barnes swirling around like dust in the sunlight.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky.

Your Dad's best friend.

They met a few years ago, when Bucky moved to town. He said he was looking for something quieter, sick of city living. He wanted to slow down a bit, finally take a breath.

He was out for a run around town, getting his bearings, when he stopped your Dad on the driveway to ask about his car. They bonded over their love for motorcycles and vintage vehicles, and the rest is history.

Bucky's been a regular fixture in your life for so long, you can't remember a time before. All you know, is that it was probably a little more peaceful. His boyish charm is infectious, bringing out the youth in your Dad. They're like teenagers, when they're together. Long lost frat brothers, your Mom jokes.

She's got a soft spot for him. Most people do. It might have something to do with the fact he's devastatingly handsome.

It's no secret that Bucky Barnes is a ladies man. He is without even trying. He's charming, gorgeous, funny in all the right ways. He's mysterious, but not disarming. Tough, but not scary. Rebellious, but not a liability. He's a catch.

A catch, with a taste for beautiful women.

Your Dad always jokes that he's the towns most eligible bachelor. You can't count on two hands the amount of women you know that have dated him - but nothing seems to stick. He isn't Tethered, after all.

Some people choose not to date, if they haven't met their soulmate. They wait and wait, and when the time comes, they're complete. Others take pleasure in dating before it happens. Might as well make the most of the freedom, Bucky said once. You can't help but agree.

Might as well make the most of the freedom.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

"Hey, buddy!" you hear from the hallway. You make your way out of the kitchen to be met with the sight of Bucky, sun-kissed and practically glowing. His hair has a few light streaks from the sun, and the faint freckles on his cheeks are more prominent now. His steel blue eyes meet yours, mischief rife in them.

"Hi, honey," he greets, draping an arm around your shoulders. He kisses you on the cheek, light stubble scratching your skin. You throw an arm around his back and look up at him.

"There's no way this tan is natural," you tease, nudging him slightly.

"It makes me even more gorgeous, doesn't it?" he jokes, winking at you. He squeezes your shoulder before letting go, grabbing a bottle of wine from his bag.

"I brought your favourite, Lori."

"So did I," you echo, laughing.

"Great minds, honey. Great minds!"

"You can never have too much wine," your Mom yells out from the kitchen doorway. "Bring it in here, Buck. I'll put it in the refrigerator."

"Yes ma'am," he obliges, making his way to her with a smile on his face.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

"Guess what happened today," you begin, in between bites of your strawberry salad.

The three of them look at you intently, urging you to continue.

"Lacie got Tethered."

"How exciting!" your Mom squeals.

"That's a long time coming," Bucky chimes in. You look at him and smirk.

"Tell me about it."

"Here we go," your Dad smiles. "Our two anti soulmate protestors."

"Don't make it sound so political," Bucky laughs. "She's the only one that gets it."

"I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it again. Just. You. Wait," your Mom lectures. "The two of you don't get it."

"Magic, fireworks, eternal love, blah blah blah. Trust me, I get it."

"She gets it," Bucky echoes. "And so do I. The Universe decides our fate, and we get no choice whatsoever. I don't believe in it, is all. I have no faith in the system. I should get to choose."

"But you feel like you are choosing," your Dad defends. "It didn't feel like it was being determined for me. It's hard to explain."

"It's just so... backwards," you justify. "I can't believe we live in a Universe where we have all the choices in the world, but don't get to choose the person we spend the rest of our lives with."

"It's worked out pretty well for us," your Mom smiles.

And it has. The first thing anyone notices when they meet your parents is that they are undeniably in love. You've never met two people more perfect for each other - which should solidify your belief in the Universe, really. But it doesn't. You can't explain where your lack of faith in it came from. It just appeared one day, and you haven't been able to shake it since. You're grateful every day to have two Tethered, happy, smitten parents. You've seen how hard it is for people with Untethered Mothers and Fathers. The judgment, the uncertainty, the hushed whispers. It sounds unbearable.

"Yes it did," your Dad confirms, shaking you from your thoughts. He reaches for your Mom's hand and kisses the back of it tenderly, eyes never once leaving hers. You look to Bucky next to you, who smiles at you gently. Feelings about soulmates aside, the both of you love these two people sat across the table with all your heart.

"Trust me, sweetheart," your Mom begins. "I know you're against the idea now - God knows I was the same at your age. But when it happens, you'll forget about all of your rebellion. You'll just be happy."

You nod in agreement, praying for the conversation to be over. As if he can read your mind, Bucky pipes up.

"Let me show you some pictures from Italy. I did promise I would."

You shoot him a grateful look before picking up your empty wine glass and making your way to the kitchen for a refill.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

The dining room is now lit solely by candlelight, wax dripping onto the white lace tablecloth like condensation on a cold glass. The sun fell asleep hours ago, the four of you enjoying each others company with no regard for time.

"Oh, shit. It's late," your Dad says suddenly.

"You got big late night plans?" you tease.

"We have Clara and Mike's wedding at the weekend, so we're flying out tomorrow. We should probably get some sleep, so we're not exhausted."

Your Mom rises from her chair and kisses you on the head, before grabbing the dessert bowls from the table. Your Dad helps, smiling every time his hand brushes hers accidentally.

"Thanks for coming, kiddo. Your place next week?"

"Of course. I think I'll try that salmon recipe you sent me."

"Can't wait," your Dad assures you, giving you a one sided hug. He squeezes you once before letting you go to grab your shoes.

You can hear your parents saying their goodbyes to Bucky as you tie your laces, smoothing out the skirt of your dress as you stand. They all join you in the hallway, Bucky leaning over to grab his jacket from behind you. Fuck, he smells good.

"Have a great time at the wedding, you guys. Send me pictures, please!" you say as you hug your Mom goodbye.

"We will! Drive home safe, the both of you!"

They shut the door softly, leaving you and Bucky stood on the porch. The evening air chills your bare legs, salt in the breeze sticking to your lips.

"Where's your car?" he asks, looking around.

"Oh, I walked. It was a nice day, and I'm trying to be a little greener. Save the planet, and all," you chuckle.

"You want a ride, then?" he offers, leaning against the side of his truck.

"Uh - maybe," you hesitate, shifting your weight from foot to foot. You feel antsy, for some reason. There's a buzz flowing through your veins, making you a little restless.

"Maybe?" he smirks.

"I just, I'm not sure if I wanna go home yet. It might be that I've had three glasses of wine, but I'm kinda... jittery? Think I need to burn off some energy. Maybe I'll walk home."

"Like hell you will," he grumbles.

You quirk a brow in confusion.

"It's dark, and all those college kids are in town on their break. I don't trust 'em."

You fight to keep the grin off your face. You weirdly like it when Bucky gets protective. He's always so calm, so relaxed - it takes a lot to rile him up. He looks hot with a clenched jaw.

"Why don't we go somewhere?"

"Where?" you ask tentatively.

"I don't know," he thinks for a second. "How about the beach?"

You smile, gazing at him with a twinkle in your eyes.

"I fucking love the beach."

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

The ocean waves break the shore steadily, the repetitive pattern calming you both. You're sat on the sand, grains slipping through your hands where you're pouring it out through your fingers. The light of the moon reflects off the surface of the sea, illuminating the abandoned cove. It's just you, Bucky, and the night sky.

The alcohol in your system has evened you out, warm buzz keeping you sheltered from the chill. Bucky's stretched out next to you, strong arms folded underneath his head. His shirt rides up slightly, exposing a slither of sun kissed skin. You pretend not to notice his Adonis belt, or the little trail of hair that leads down into his waistband.

The silence is easy, comfortable. You don't get to hang out like this often, just the two of you. It's nice.

A notification on your phone breaks through the tranquility. You both flinch.

"Sorry," you mutter, checking the screen. "It's Lacie, telling me about her perfect date."

He chuckles lowly at your tone, sitting up to look at you.

"This is hard for you, isn't it?" he asks. "You hate the whole soulmate thing, but you like seeing her happy."

Bingo. It's like he's read your mind.

"I don't know why I hate it so much" you confess quietly. "It's a part of life. I can't avoid it. I just think - what if... what if I'm like, the exception, or something? What if I never meet my soulmate - or - what if I meet them when I'm like, seventy? That happens, you know! And then I'll be fucking cursed to spend my entire life feeling like this."

"And what is this?"

"Hopeless. That's what this is. I just feel pretty fucking hopeless."

You're not sure why you're baring your soul to Bucky tonight. You could blame the wine, but you know that's not what it is. Maybe it's because he seems to be the only one that understands.

"Me too," he whispers.

You whip your head around to stare at him in shock. He laughs at the look on your face, and continues.

"You're young - you have time. I'm forty in a couple of years. Every single one of my friends is married to their soulmate - except for me."

You bite at your lip nervously, but refuse to tear your eyes away from his steel blue ones. His face is lit by the glow from the moon, and it takes your breath away for a second. He looks almost ethereal.

"You always act so... unbothered. I didn't realise... I guess I just, I didn't -" you try to gather your thoughts before continuing. "This fucking sucks, huh?"

He laughs with his whole chest, and you're convinced the sound is so special, so rare, that you should bottle it. Sell it as medicine. It'd cure anything, you're sure of it.

"Yeah, it does," he agrees with a chuckle. "It's the waiting around that's the worst part. The unknown. It could be minutes, it could be decades. I just don't know."

"At least for now, we have each other," you joke.

"Every cloud has a silver lining, huh?" he teases, nudging you with his shoulder.

You allow your weight to press into his side a little, leaning in. He's warm, and he's familiar, and in this moment, he understands you better than anyone else in the world.

"We'll be okay, honey," he murmurs. "It'll all work out the way it's supposed to."

You close your eyes, and allow his words and the breaking waves to calm your nerves. Bucky wraps an arm around you, and all the tension melts from your muscles.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

You're not sure if it's the honest conversation, or the brisk ocean breeze, but you've sobered up in record time. Your body registers this, and sends a shiver down your spine.

"You cold?" Bucky asks you. "You wanna go home?"

"Not yet," you whisper. "Not yet."

He shrugs off his worn brown leather jacket and slips it over your shoulders. It smells so strongly of him that it makes you dizzy. Bucky settles back down in his original place, returning his arm to where it was draped over you. His rough fingertips rub patterns into the material that now covers your arms, and you wish, for a fleeting moment, that it was your bare skin instead.

"You been working on anything new recently?" he enquires in a hushed tone, careful not to ruin the atmosphere.

"I made a damn good batch of macarons yesterday," you reply, beaming smile etched across your face. "Raspberry and lemon. I'll bring you some, next time I pass the Garage. You're gonna love them."

"You know, I think the only reason I ever get Mechanic of the Month is because you bring by all of your sweet treats."

You laugh melodiously, and the sound makes Bucky's heart stutter in his chest without warning.

"Happy to be of service," you tease. "I take requests, too, if you ever want something specific. Just let me know."

"You're the best, sugar."

You sink into Bucky's hold a little, daring to rest your head on his shoulder. When he doesn't stop you, you exhale, and relax even more.

"Are you working tomorrow?" he asks.

"Nope. You?"

"Nah. I'm going sailing, finally. It's been way too fuckin' long," he grumbles. "Your Dad's usually my right hand man, but he'll be in Ohio. You wanna come?"

The idea of laying on the deck of a boat in the blazing sunshine with a shirtless Bucky Barnes sounds like heaven. Who could say no to an offer like that?

"Yeah, of course. I'll bring a picnic, if you like. It's the least I can do."

"Sounds perfect," he replies, squeezing your shoulder.

Suddenly, he rises to his feet, extending a hand out to you. You grab it, and he pulls you up, the both of you shaking sand off yourselves.

"It's late, and dark, and a little cold. You ready to go?"

You nod your head, and make your way over to his truck, ignoring the heat that blooms over your chest when he opens the passenger door for you before his own.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

"Thank you, for tonight," you say as he pulls up in front of your apartment building.

"Thank you," he replies, killing the engine. "It's nice to have you back, you know. Wondered if you were gonna finish college and stay out there in California. Thought we might not see you again."

He almost sounds... relieved. The idea that he might have missed you if you didn't return effects you more than it should.

"I liked it there, but... I don't know. My family's here. I'm only twenty three. I've got time to move around the country. I missed this place too much when I was away."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," he chuckles.

"I know, trust me. They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Yeah, they say a lot of fuckin' things," he jokes.

Bucky swings his door open, hopping down from the drivers seat. He makes his way over to your side, holding out a hand so you can jump out.

"Careful," he warns. "It's higher than it looks."

You grab his hand, and step onto the metal sill. Your foot slips slightly, sending you tumbling down and forward, out of the truck. Luckily, Bucky catches you, one hand in yours, other on your hip.

"Woah, easy. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," you breathe.

He places his hands on your cheeks and cradles your face, searching for any signs of distress. You place your palms over his, silently reassuring him.

And then, it happens.

Warm, golden, molten electricity surges through your veins, lighting up each and every one of your nerve endings. Your surroundings explode into glorious technicolour, everything suddenly brighter and more vibrant. It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest, only to be replaced by one that beats in a slightly different rhythm. There's flowers blooming in your ribcage, new life happening inside of you. You catch eyes with Bucky, expecting to see his stormy blue ones looking back at you. Instead, all you see is your future.

Vivid, flashing images of Bucky Barnes fill your mind, each one of them tinted with a warm, rosy hue. You feel like you're being reinvented. Your skin is alive, hyperaware of the way Bucky's palms are still gently cupping your cheeks. Your fingertips tingle with anticipation where they rest on his, itching to touch every inch of him. You feel as if the oxygen has been stolen from your lungs, and replaced with love.

Your knees are the first to buckle, the weight of the moment taking you down. You hit the ground, and so does Bucky, his palms not once leaving your face. You're both kneeling on the warm concrete, ocean waves providing a distant soundtrack. Blood is rushing in your ears, and you wonder for a second if you're about to pass out. You squeeze Bucky's hands so hard, it's a miracle you don't break his fingers. He squeezes back, eyes locked on one another.

After what feels like an eternity, you both break out of your reverie. You lean forward, resting your forehead against Bucky's, both of you panting.

You're trying to catch your breath unsuccessfully. You move one of your hands to rest on Bucky's chest, right on his heart. You swear the steady beat of it spells out your name.

He mirrors you, and moves his own hand to rest above your frantic heart, the other still glued to your cheek. You both breathe, in and out, trying to match each other. When you finally do, it's as if time stops. It's just you and Bucky. One heartbeat. One soul.

You break away from him to look into his eyes again. They look different, you think. He looks different.

He gazes back at you, cheeks flushed and chest heaving. The moonlight dances off your faces, illuminating the moment both your lives changed forever.

"It's you," he breathes in disbelief.

A laugh escapes your chest, surprising you both. He chuckles with you, and before you know it, the both of you are in hysterics, sitting on the sidewalk at three in the morning.

"Of course it's me," you giggle. "The two people that hate soulmates, Tethered together. You couldn't write it."

Bucky grins at you, clutching at his stomach.

You both take a breath, and realise your surroundings. Bucky gets up first, heaving you up by your arms. He towers over you, suddenly close. Not close enough, you decide. Never close enough.

You lunge forward and crash your lips to his. Bucky instinctively wraps one arm around your back, moving his other hand to hold you by the back of your neck. He tastes like salt and spearmint and every kiss for the rest of your life.

Bucky presses himself into you, attempting to tangle your bodies together. He wants to feel every inch of you against his skin, willing you to come closer. He aches to climb into you, sew himself into your ribcage. He'd be content to live there, beating your heart, forever.

You whine, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You tilt your head back, and fist your hands into his shirt, plastering yourself to his front. He shoves his thigh in between your legs, the rough denim a welcome contrast to your soft skin. You buck your hips forward, and the friction is so delicious it makes you dizzy. You've never been kissed like this. It's almost feral. You're both surrendering to your fates, giving in to the animalistic urges coursing through you.

A seagull caws on a nearby street lamp, and the sound makes you both jump. You suddenly realise your scenario. Your Dad's best friend, who also happens to be your soulmate, has you pressed against his truck in the street, kissing you like he's running out of air and you're his only oxygen source. If it goes any further, you'll both get arrested for public indecency.

"Fuck, sugar," he murmurs against your mouth. "My pretty girl. My honey."

"My soulmate," you whisper.

The reality of it comes crashing down like a tsunami, drenching the both of you.

Bucky kisses you again, gentler this time. The tenderness makes you want to cry.

"What do we do now?" you mumble, fear coating your voice.

He senses your trepidation instantly. He feels it, actually, right in the front of his chest. It's like you suddenly share one body. There's no guessing, anymore. He knows exactly how you feel.

He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his building anxiety. He knows that if he stays calm, you'll stay calm. That's how Tethering works, right? He has to keep it together for the both of you, despite the panic that's rising in him, vibrating in his bones.

"How about... how about we both go to bed, get some sleep - and then we go sailing, later on today, just like we planned? And no matter what, we take everything one step at a time."

"One step at a time," you repeat, attempting to pacify you both.

"We'll figure it out," he reassures. "I know we will."

You find the will to step apart, which proves harder than you thought. It's like Bucky's an anchor - fastening you to peace, to happiness, to serenity. The more distance you put between your bodies, the more unsettled you feel. When you're not touching him, it's as if everything becomes unsteady, more difficult. You feel like you're on a rogue sailboat, battling the waves, threatened to be thrown overboard. Bucky is your lifevest, your lighthouse in the dark night. You're not sure how you're supposed to live your life any more than two feet away from him at all times.

You breathe, and smooth down your dress, running your fingers through your hair. You reach out and adjust Bucky's shirt where it's been wrinkled due to your tight grip.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," he murmurs, fingers tangling around your own.

"Goodnight, Buck," you echo.

He leans in to press a chaste kiss to your lips, savouring the taste of your cherry lip balm. He wraps his arms around you, unable to resist. Bucky breathes you in deeply, smiling uncontrollably. Nudging your nose with his, he murmurs gently against your mouth.

"My honey girl."

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chiriwritesstuff · 4 months

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The Girl in IT - 3. Vroom Vroom

A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU

The LIST │ Series Masterlist

Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)

Chapter Preview: "I want that Model X. Blacked out. The one that drives itself." He nods approvingly, not bothering to conceal his satisfaction. "Done. Anything else?" You can't help but scoff at the audacity. "Just like that?" "Just like that." "Come on, Joel. You don't just surprise employees with new cars out of the blue." "Well, lucky for you, you're not just any employee."

Chapter Warnings & Tags: No outbreak AU, Boss x Employee Relationship, Sugar Daddy Lite, Daddy Kink, Smut, SO MUCH SMUT, Age Gap, Praise kink, Overstimulation, Squirting, Older Man/Younger woman, So much dirty talk, DD/lg (kinda? they're both into it), Vaginal Fingering, Exhibitionism, No PIV (yet), Virgin Reader

Word Count: 6K

A/N & Chapter Notes: Two birthdays, ten years apart.

This is filthy, and I have no regrets.

Hope you enjoy!

Ten Years Earlier.

Joel lingers outside your house, the lively sounds of your 26th birthday party spilling into the night air through open windows. He adjusts the collar of his chambray button-down, opting for a change from his usual flannel attire. With his hair slicked back and facial hair neatly trimmed, he sighs, contemplating the small bouquet of sunflowers he acquired from a nearby florist.

His mind goes to the conversation he had with the florist earlier.

"Sunflowers? That's an interesting choice." The florist smiles, gently taking the flowers from his hand. "Did you need this wrapped? Maybe a bit of ribbon?"

Joel nods. "Please. It's for—"

The florist glances at him, a twinkle in her eyes as she observes his nervous demeanor. "Did you know that the sunflower symbolizes adoration? It's the perfect flower to give to someone you're interested in."

"Oh, it's nothing like that, It's for a... a friend. It's her birthday today."

The florist gives Joel a wry look. "If she's just a friend, might I suggest daisies? Surely they would be more appropriate and cheaper—"

Joel shakes his head. "The sunflowers," he motions to her hand. "Please."

He smiles at the memory, looking at the bouquet once more, knowing he made the right choice.

He spots you through the window, the vibrant yellow of your sundress gracefully accentuating your curves, creating an ethereal silhouette that seems to glow, like a beacon of light calling out to him. His breath catches in his throat as he watches you. A genuine laugh escapes you, a sound that always catches him off guard, echoing through the air with a light that he finds irresistible.

"Joel," your father approaches, his expression clearly showing his displeasure. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello Sir, Well, I'm here for a birthday party, and-" he lifts the invitation, "I believe I was invited."

"I can see that, but the question is why. Surely, a man of your age at a party filled with twenty-year-olds? Doesn't that seem... odd to you?"

"It's only odd if you make it odd, I reckon."

"Can I ask you a serious question? What are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Well, I would like to wish her a Happy Birthday, maybe eat a little cake-"

"... and how old are you, Joel? aren't you a bit bothered by the fact that your daughter is older than mine?"

"... well, she's not, sir." Joel smiles, "She's older than Sarah."

Unamused, your father continues. "I'm going to level with you. I'm not about to let my daughter be swept away by some middle-aged man barely scraping by." He shoots Joel a stern look, shaking his head in disapproval. "My daughter deserves the world, and quite frankly, I won't have her settle for someone beneath her. Not for some small-time contractor."

"Sir, that's not my intention at all. Sugar invited me, and-"

He shakes his head in disgust. "I think you should go, Joel. Take your flowers and go. You're lucky I let you still have this job."

Joel nods in defeat, his gaze lingering on you through the window. He takes a final appreciative look at you, radiant in your yellow dress, and offers a warm smile. Turning towards your father, he speaks with sincerity, "I apologize for any disturbance, sir." Joel strides purposefully towards his truck, adding, "Please convey my regrets to your wife."

Present day.

Joel: Hey Sugar, did you head out to the office yet? Sugar: Hi Mr. Miller, Good Morning! No, I haven't. Still getting ready. Should be heading out in 15. Did you need something? Did you get locked out of the company portal again? I told you that we change passwords every six months, I wrote it on a sticky note for you like you asked! Joel: No, Sugar, I haven't. It concerns me how little faith you have in me. I am not that hopeless! For your information, I am not in the office yet. Sugar: Oh? So it wasn't you and Ellie trying to figure out how you managed to print the printer manual ten times over last week? Joel: I'm sure that was Tommy, but it's ok, I forgive you. Anyway, does this mean you're still at home? Sugar: Sure, Joel. Ellie would say otherwise. Yes?? Joel: ??? Not sure if you're at home? Sugar: No. Yes. I'm at home. Joel: Good. I'm outside.

"Joel," you say, locking your front door, looking surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm kidnapping you for the day," Joel announces from his truck. "Thought I'd give you a ride to work." He winks as he exits out of the cab, wearing a chambray shirt and jeans instead of his usual work-issued flannel. It's a nice change, being that you didn't think the man owned anything other than flannels. "Come on, I've got coffee and donuts."

You give him a wry smile. "What if I'm not a coffee person?"

Joel presents a coffee to-go cup, a tea bag tag hanging out. "Lucky for you, I've got your favorite green tea."

"Smooth move, Miller," you grin, approaching him and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Very smooth."

"What can I say? I have excellent attention to detail, especially when it comes to you."

"Just not with computers, right?"

"Alright, alright, none of your teasing this morning, why don't you hop in," Joel grins, holding the passenger door open for you. You slide into the truck, still puzzled by his unexpected visit.

As he drives away, the scenery doesn't match the route to the office. You raise an eyebrow, looking at Joel with a playful smirk. "This doesn't look like the way to work. Where are we going?"

"Well, if I told you, then it would ruin the surprise, now would it?"

You snort. "What's happening today that's so important it warrants a surprise?"

Joel glances at you, a wide smile on his face. "A little birdy told me that it's someone's birthday today."

"Yeah and? It doesn't mean that we blow work off, I actually have a scheduled meeting with Tess today-"

"Fuck Tess."

You frown. "Joel, be serious."

"I am serious. I handled Tess. She's fine, don't you worry your pretty little head off, she's ok with pushing back to tomorrow."

You look at him warily, sighing. "I got a bad feeling about this."

Joel reaches over and kisses your forehead. "Don't frown, baby. None of that nonsense is allowed when we're together, okay? Just let me do something nice for you on your birthday. Nothing too crazy, promise."

"Why do I have the feeling that you don't mean that?"

Joel drives into the mall's parking lot, heading towards Neiman Marcus, driving into the nearest parking stall to its entrance.

He cuts the ignition to the truck. "OK, I don't promise. I intend on dragging you into the store whether you like it or not, sliding my shiny Amex to the first salesperson I see, and spoiling the absolute shit outta you. Do you have a problem with that, baby?"

"What if I allow you to spoil me from the comfort of the clearance rack?"

"Sorry to break it to you, baby, but this Amex won't work on anything discounted. Do you know what it means to have a black one of these?"

"That you have a big cock and an even bigger ego?"

"Funny. What it really means is that I can walk into one of them Tesla dealerships and buy you a Model X before you can ask me if I'm being serious." He takes your hand in his. "Because I am. Serious, that is."

You scoff, sinking further into your seat. "You're not going to buy me a Tesla."

He laughs. "Maybe, maybe not. I do know you need a new car, and I know one thing for sure—" He gives you a wry smile as he lifts your chin to face him. "There's no way in hell I'm going to let you drive that damn death trap anymore, Sugar."

"Hey! I'll have you know, I've had that death trap since college, it's the first thing I bought without my father's money!" you huff, "Now that I'm not in the ninth layer of Hell at Best Buy anymore, I can finally afford to buy myself a car. You know, something sensible, like a Kia."

"A Kia? Baby... only more reason for me to buy you a new car. Tell me, if you could have any car, money, and cost be dammed, what would it be? Sky's the limit."

"Seriously?"

He leans in, eyes challenging. "Try me."

"I want that Model X. Blacked out. The one that drives itself."

He nods approvingly, not bothering to conceal his satisfaction. "Done. Anything else?"

You can't help but scoff at the audacity. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Come on, Joel. You don't just surprise employees with new cars out of the blue."

"Well, lucky for you, you're not just any employee."

A smile tugs at your lips, appreciating the unexpected attention. "Really?" you playfully inquire. "So, I'm more than just a random employee, huh?"

Joel gently caresses your chin, offering a small, satisfied smirk.

"No, Sugar, you're not just some random employee," he declares, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. "You're everything."

"You don't mean that—" you stutter, "Joel, what's going on? Why are you doing this? I'm not someone to be bought or bribed like I'm some sugar baby. I liked you back then, before all of this—"

"When I had nothing? When my company was still in the red, when your father's job was the only one turning a profit," he peers down at you. "What if I told you that I wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for you? If your father didn't talk some sense into me all those years ago, I wouldn't have worked my ass off to get where I am now."

Your eyes narrow. "What are you talking about?"

Joel lets out a heavy sigh, his gaze intense. "Your father made it clear back then that I wasn't good enough for you. He didn't think I was the right fit for you. He did me a favor if I think about it now. It was your father's skepticism that fueled my determination to prove him wrong, to build something from the ground up."

Your mind races, trying to grasp the weight of his revelation. "But why keep it a secret? Why now? You didn't give me any signs that you were interested in me, I even invited you to my birthday party, which you didn't even bother showing up to!"

Joel winces. "Yeah, about that-"

Your face softens. "Wait, Joel, the sunflowers?"

"Your father made sure to point out the inappropriateness of a middle-aged man attending a party full of co-eds. Thinking about it, it wouldn't have been a good look, especially since I couldn't take my eyes off of you, wearing that yellow dress… I was enchanted by you, baby girl."

You blush, smacking his shoulder. "Oh, that dress was horrendous. My mom made me wear it!"

"Well, remind me to thank your mom for giving me the mental image I've had of you all these years."

"You know, that explains why the sunflowers were in the trash can, I thought it was so odd! They were beautiful, by the way. I snuck them out and kept them in my room, you know." You shake your head. "I can't believe my dad would do something like this. I hate that I stuck around for so long. I wish I knew, Joel. Back then. You were the only person I looked forward to coming that night, and when you didn't, I thought-"

"Well, I was there, baby."

"… but you didn't stay! How was I supposed to know?!"

He runs a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "I didn't want you to feel like you were settling or that my feelings were tied to any of this. I needed to prove myself first. I didn't want you to think I was using you or that I wasn't good enough for you."

A mix of emotions swirls within you—surprise, confusion, and a hint of realization. "Joel, I had no idea. But why go to such lengths now? Buying me a car, showering me with gifts?"

He looks into your eyes, his expression sincere. "Because, despite everything, my feelings for you have always been genuine. I wanted you to see that I can give you the life you deserve and that I've overcome the doubts from back then. I had nothing to give to you back then, hell, I was being eaten alive by debt, I couldn't put Sarah through college - she worked her ass off trying to get as many scholarships as she could on her own. I wasn't in a position to make you mine, not yet."

"Joel," you say, taking his face in your hands, a sad smile on your face. "Do you think I care about all of this? I would have been with you then, all you had to do was ask."

"Well, I'm asking you now. Will you let me make up for missing your birthday all those years ago up to you?"

You give him a small smile. "Okay."

Joel breathes a sigh of relief. "Okay. Now, get out of the truck and into the store. That's an order."

You share a playful eye roll before complying, opening the truck door, and stepping into the crisp air outside. The familiar chime of the entrance doors signals your arrival at Neiman Marcus.

Joel walks beside you, his arm casually draped around your shoulders as you both make your way into the store. The ambiance of luxury surrounds you, and the scent of high-end perfumes lingers in the air. You can't help but marvel at the elegant displays showcasing the latest in fashion and accessories, the air smelling distinctively expensive and high class, something you would never associate yourself with.

"So, what's the plan?" you ask, hesitation evident in your voice.

Joel grins, steering you towards the women's clothing section. "I'm looking for just the right-" he stops midsentence, his eyes locking onto the stylishly dressed woman lying in wait for her next victim.

"Lenore!" he shouts, "Just the person I was hoping to find."

"Mr. Miller! What a delightful surprise," the saleswoman exclaims, her face lighting up. "What brings you here? how are your girls?"

"They're doing fine, thank you for asking."

"... and who is this pretty baby peeking out from behind you?" she asks, casting a warm smile your way. You instinctively recoil at the unexpected attention, a familiar sensation from the years spent trailing your mother at Neiman’s, deliberately making yourself inconspicuous to deter any unwanted conversations. It felt safer that way, you reflect, offering Lenore a slight smile. "There's our lovely girl. No need to hide behind this old dog; you're far more interesting to look at than he is!"

"Lenore, allow me to introduce you to someone very special—this is Sugar," Joel says with a proud smile, gesturing towards you.

"Sugar, what a sweet name! Pleasure to meet you," Lenore responds, extending a hand in a friendly gesture.

The tension from earlier begins to dissipate as you shake Lenore's hand and manage a genuine smile. "Nice to meet you too, Lenore."

"Sugar, why don't you take a look at the clothes over there and let me talk business with Lenore for a second?" You raise your eyebrows in suspicion, "Maybe you'll see something you like?"

Joel, his eyes gleaming with excitement, leans in and whispers, "Lenore, today is no ordinary day. It's Sugar's birthday, and I'm in the mood to make it special for her. We're going to be spending an obscene amount of money today, so I hope you're ready. You got your work cut out for you, I promise you that."

"Nothing can be as worse than the time I tried to convince Ellie to wear a gown for the prom last year," she winces, "Sorry about that again, Mr. Miller." She slides up beside Joel, flashing him a knowing smirk. "How obscene are we talking?"

Joel hands over his sleek black Amex, and Lenore's eyes widen in surprise. "Obscene. Don't let her talk you out of something because of the price, hell, rip off the damn tags if you have to." He steals a quick glance back at you, a vision standing amongst the designer goods, a subtle smile on his face. He glances at Lenore once more. "Do we have an understanding?"

The saleswoman nods her head frantically, pocketing the Amex in her pocket, the weight of it making an indentation through her blazer. "Understood, Mr. Miller. I'll fetch you a coffee and set up a seat for you in her dressing room. Is there anything else?

Joel nods. "Yeah. Do your worst, Lenore."

Lenore gives Joel one last look as she heads towards you, not hiding the fact that you look like a deer caught in the headlights. She places a hand on the small of your back. "Come along dear, we're on a mission." She gives you a conspiratorial smile. "You're in desperate need of Celine."

Lenore scrutinizes you for a moment, gently lifting your arms to assess your form. "I take it you're a size 10?"

Surprised, you ask, "How did you know?"

"Honey, I've been here for the last twenty years. Not only can I tell your dress and bra size, but I've also mastered the subtle art of reading people." She confidently places her hands on your hips, nodding to herself. "People are not as secretive as they think. I can dissect their entire life story the moment they walk in the door."

Curious, you inquire, "Oh? And what conclusion did you make about me?"

Lenore begins rifling through the racks, selecting a few monochromatic pieces. "Well, you seem to go through life trying to hide yourself."

"Is it that obvious?" you ask with a hint of self-awareness.

Lenore continues her assessment, her experienced eyes scanning the clothing options she's pulled out. "You go through life trying to hide yourself," she repeats, her tone thoughtful. "But, sweetheart, hiding doesn't mean you're weak or scared. It means you've faced challenges, learned to protect yourself."

She steps back, considering you with a knowing gaze. "We all wear different masks, dear. It's just a matter of finding the one that feels right for the occasion. Now, tell me, what's the story behind the layers you've wrapped yourself in?"

"Well..." you bite your lip thoughtfully, "Today is my 36th birthday. My mom, she had me when she was 26. By the time she was my age, she had her whole life figured out - the husband, the kid, the house. I remember thinking how much I wanted that for myself, how I thought my life would go... and now, at 36," you pause, sighing, "I don't have any of that. I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I rent an absurdly overpriced shoebox that I share with my cat," you softly chuckle to yourself.

"It's not like I haven't tried to put myself out there. I have—met a few people, went on a couple of dates, which—I felt like wasn't terrible, you know?" You admire a sheath dress on the rack, adding it to the growing pile of pieces Lenore has accumulated. "...but it was always just a first date, and then rejection, maybe if they were kind, but most of the time I never hear from them again. After a while, after I hit 30, I just... stopped. I stopped trying to put myself out there. It's exhausting, and I can't keep wondering what makes me so undesirable."

"Sometimes... Sometimes I feel like I'm defective, too broken for anyone, not good enough to have the kind of life I want."

"Sweetheart, life rarely follows the script we write for it. Comparing your journey to your mother's or anyone else's is like comparing apples to oranges. Each story is unique, and yours is still unfolding," she reassures you.

She continues sorting through the clothes, selecting pieces that seem to resonate with your style. "Now, about those layers you wear," she begins, her focus returning to the task at hand. "Perhaps it's time to shed the expectations and judgments, not just from others but also from yourself. These layers, they're not defects; they're experiences that have shaped you."

Lenore hands you a beautifully tailored blazer and nods approvingly. "Try this on. Let's see how it feels."

As you slip into the blazer, Lenore continues, "You deserve a life that brings you joy, and that starts with accepting yourself. When you embrace who you are, others will too. It's not about being 'good enough'; it's about being authentically you."

Lenore, her hands expertly moving through the racks, pauses for a moment, her gaze thoughtful. "And what about Mr. Miller?" she asks with a knowing smile. "There's a story there too, isn't it?"

You glance at her, surprised by her perceptiveness. "Joel? Well, we've known each other for ten years, but we've only worked together for six months. There's nothing more to it than that."

Lenore raises an eyebrow. "Sweetheart, I've been around enough to recognize when there's something more. The way he looks at you, the way he cares—it goes beyond the confines of a professional relationship."

You hesitate, unsure of how to respond. Lenore gently continues, "I've seen people in love, and I've seen people trying to hide it. Joel's got a soft spot for you, dear. It's written all over him."

"Is it? because with my track record, all it feels like is me waiting for the other shoe to drop. I like him... I've liked him", you correct yourself, "...for a very long time. I tried to put myself out there to him back then, only for him to reject me. What makes me different now? What didn't I have then?"

Lenore listens attentively, her gaze filled with compassion. "Sweetheart, people change, circumstances change. What may not have worked before doesn't define your worth or potential now. Maybe back then, Joel wasn't ready or didn't see what was right in front of him. It doesn't mean you lacked anything—it just wasn't the right time."

She pauses, choosing her words carefully. "Love can be messy, complicated, and unpredictable. But if you feel something for Joel, and there's a chance he feels the same now, it's worth exploring. Give yourself permission to embrace the present without being burdened by the past." She gives you one last smile, her tiny frame effortlessly handling the mountain of clothes with an ease that comes with her years of experience. "Come on, we can't leave Mr. Miller waiting. He's already waiting for you in your dressing room."

Joel is already seated in the room one would call a dressing room, a vast space encapsulated by mirrors. Lenore places the clothes on the rack, giving the two of you one last-knowing nod as she makes her way to the door. "I'll give you guys some privacy," she winks, her hands on the doorknob. "You just holler if you need anything, okay?" You smile meekly at her as Joel nods. "Thank you, Lenore."

"Well', you breathe, making your way to the center of the room, taking it all in. "This is... something."

"It is, right? Perfect amount of mirrors to admire your form."

"It's just... a lot, Joel. I'm not used to seeing myself like this."

"Like what, baby?" He asks, making his way over to you as you fiddle nervously in place. Tenderly, he envelops you in his arms, hands brushing away stray strands of hair behind your ears. "Turn around and face the mirror," he softly directs, gently guiding you by the hips. You find yourself in front of the mirror, Joel standing behind you, his eyes locking with yours as his hands trace down your silhouette, fingers deftly navigating the buttons of your blouse.

"Let me paint a picture for you," Joel whispers in your ear, his eyes locked with yours through the mirror as he delicately starts to unbutton. "I see someone who drives me fucking crazy." Pausing at the last button, he eases your top from the waistband of your skirt, peeling the fabric from your skin to unveil the modest cotton bralette you chose for the day. "Beautiful," he breathes, slipping your top from your shoulders. A shiver runs through you as his hands graze your skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

"You think you can hide yourself behind all of these clothes but I see you, Sugar. I've seen what's inside, and I would like to get to know that girl that's begging to come out of that shell of yours." His fingers linger on the elastic at your waist, his eyes silently asking for consent. You nod, taking a deep breath as he slowly slides your skirt down your hips, leaving you standing against him in just your underthings, your body suddenly on fire as he continues to hold you against him. You swear you can feel the hardness of his desire from behind as he continues to caress you, his eyes never leaving yours. "Will you show me?"

His fingers find the skin of your torso, and you shudder and gasp at how it suddenly ignites you, the fire you kept dormant for so long suddenly ablaze from his ministrations, leaving you breathless. He places wet open-mouthed kisses along the length of your neck, his eyes never leaving yours as his fingers start to travel down to your waist.

The corner of his mouth creeps slowly upwards. "Are you going to let me show you just how much I fucking adore you?"

You swallow thickly, nodding absentmindedly as you find yourself caught in his web, exactly where he wants you. "Yes", you whisper, "Please, Joel."

"Do you know how long I've waited for you?" he whispers, his fingertips grazing the outline of your panties, inching lower and lower, the sensation driving you mad with want. You instinctively rub your thighs together, your body craving more friction than what's currently being provided. Joel tsks at the gesture, shaking his head at you through the mirror. "You keep these legs spread for me, baby." His fingers wander upwards, hooking onto the elastic of your underwear, as he watches you closely, a question written across his face. He quirks his eyebrow at you curiously.

It was all you needed to know just exactly what he was asking.

You give him a tiny nod.

"Use your words, baby girl. I need to know for sure that this is what you want. I need you to be specific," he commands, his fingers twitching against your skin.

"Please Joel," you whisper, the entirety of your body trembling against his, "Please undress me."

He grins wickedly as he complies, the fabric slipping slowly down your hips, peeling gently down your legs. "I remember the day we first met at your house, how shy and skittish you were. I remember what you wore, even then," he says, taking his time, your panties caught on the ankle of your foot. He tugs them free, his eyes darkening as he realizes that they are soaked through with your slick, glistening under the lowlight of the dressing room.

You swear you hear his breath quickening as he holds them high against the light in reverence, tucking the scrap piece of fabric into his back pocket.

"Did you know that you were going to see me that day?" he asks, turning his attention back to you. "Is that why you didn't bother to wear a bra under that shirt of yours?" He shakes his head slowly as he places his hands on your hips once more, his fingers slowly making their way down to your inner thighs. "It was downright indecent, the fabric was so thin I could practically see your tits," his voice sounds more considerably wrecked as he slides his fingers upwards until they hit your slit, a calloused finger expertly parting your lips until they reach the button of your clit.

He stops. "Have you ever let anyone touch you like this before?"

You shake your head in response, your body arching against his as you desperately seek his touch. "I came close once, back in college, but I-" your voice gets caught in your throat as Joel eases his finger through your lips once more, his fingertips at the precipice of your entrance. You can't help the moan that escapes your lips. He pulls his fingers away from your heat as he reaches into his back pocket, reaching for your panties as he holds the wad of fabric against your mouth. "Open," he commands, stuffing your mouth with the fabric, the tang of your slick so sharp it makes your mouth water even more. "This is a public place, baby, I can't risk us getting kicked out because you can't control yourself, you hear? Nod if you understand me."

You nod.

"Good." He bends forwards slightly, his fingers parting your slit once more, your pussy lips quivering as he gathers your slick, his fingertips breaching your entrance once more. "I know you're still a virgin, Sugar", he breathes as he kisses your neck once more, his eyes locking onto yours. "I'm not going to fuck you with my cock in a dressing room, but I am going to show you just how you make me feel. Is that okay?"

You nod once more, your voice muffled through the fabric of your panties. He breaches your entrance slowly, the thickness of his finger filling you as your body jolts from the intrusion, your eyes closing in pleasure.

"Look at me, Sugar. Look at what I'm doing to you."

Your eyes shoot open as you see Joel adding another finger into you, the squelch of your wetness against his fingers echoing loudly throughout the room as they slowly pump in and out of your pussy, his fingers crooking inside you slightly as your hips shift against his erection. Joel groans at that, shifting his thigh between your legs. "Lean against me, baby. Watch as I fuck you with my fingers."

You look at yourself in the mirror, the straps of your bralette sliding down your shoulders as Joel fingers you in earnest, tears forming at the corners of your eyes as you wither and tremble against his thigh. Joel pulls the chair he was sitting on earlier towards the both of you, pulling his fingers out of you once more as he plops onto the seat, spreading his legs. He beckons his fingers coated in your slick at you. "Come sit on Daddy's lap like a good little girl."

You stumble inelegantly onto his lap, his hands spreading your legs to rest on his, spreading you out entirely as he gazes at your pussy in the mirror, your ass situated on his jean-covered cock as he starts to grind against you. He pulls your breasts out from the confines of your bralette, the slick of your pussy leaving a trail against your skin as he cups your tits, pinching your nipples as he groans into your neck. "Look at you," he praises, slipping his fingers into your pussy as he begins to finger fuck you into oblivion. You look completely debauched as he thoroughly fucks you, his groans growing louder as he continues to grind his cock against the swell of your ass.

"Sweet innocent little Sugar, playing hooky and getting wrecked by her boss in public", he spits, his fingers increasing in speed as you mewl against the fabric in your mouth. "What would everyone say, huh? Pulling into the parking lot with your brand new Tesla, walking into the office tomorrow morning in your brand new clothes Daddy bought you?" He rubs his thumb against your clit, your body arching back as you cry from overstimulation. "Are you going to take everything that I'm going to give you?" he pulls the fabric from your mouth, a line of saliva trailing it as you breathe harshly, desperately trying to even your breath. "I asked you a question, Sugar. Are you going to take everything I give you?" he rips his fingers out of your pussy as it clenches on nothing, whining from being so violently edged out. He slaps your pussy for good measure, and you swear you could come from the motion alone. "Answer me!" he growls in your ear.

"Yes!" you half-scream. "Joel, it's too much, I can't-"

"Yes, you can, baby. Fuck- keep grinding that ass on my cock, I'm so fucking close", he grips your hip harshly, his fingers digging into the meat of your skin you swear it'll leave a mark. "I can feel you quivering for me, baby, are you gonna come?" He's thrusting, thrusting so harshly against you it's almost to the point of pain, but you're so caught up chasing your release that the pain riles you up, you find yourself gyrating against his hardness as Joel nearly jumps out of his seat in response.

"Joel, what's happening? I feel so wet, you need to stop, I feel like I'm gonna-" You gasp, the pressure building within you so strongly it feels like you're going to implode. Your body moves in sync with his, the groans and shouts of pleasure building, the tears flowing freely down your cheeks. "It's too much, it's too-" You scream, a gush of wetness flooding out of you as Joel fingers you to completion, a look of shock on your face as he grips your hips and comes in his jeans.

"FUCK!" he groans as he shoots his load so violently you swear you can feel the ropes of cum through his jeans as he comes down from his high. You sob into his shoulder, his mouth desperately finding yours as he finally kisses you, his tongue running along the seam of your lips, begging for entrance as he grips the back of your head. You kiss him back in earnest, turning yourself around and straddling his thighs, your bare pussy raw against the fabric of his jeans. "Thank you," he mumbles against your lips, his hands cupping your cheeks, his thumbs wiping your tears away. "You did so good, baby, so fucking good, you came so hard for me you fucking squirted, FUCK! Such a perfect girl, my perfect girl-"

Your eyes widen in shock as you take in the scene before you, the wetness of your slick coating the surface of the dressing room. "Joel, I can't believe I-" You shift on his lap, panicking. "Fuck, Joel, what are we gonna do? I just came all over the dressing room, in Neiman Marcus for fucks sake-"

Joel chuckles softly, gently tucking your hair behind your ears. "Do you realize the power a black Amex wields? Silence. Lenore's commission today will be outrageous; a few stains here and there won't even register."

"But what if it ruined the merchandise? I haven't even tried anything on—"

"No need. Lenore's already taken care of it on the card. I trust her taste." He plants another tender kiss on your lips, retrieving a sleek silver card from his jeans pocket, the unmistakable Tesla logo gleaming.

He hands you the card with a smirk, and your eyes widen in astonishment as you delicately accept it.

"Happy Birthday, Baby."

The Updated List: (Line items 4, 15 & 16 completed this chapter_)

Taglist: @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat, @gwendibleywrites, @joeldjarin, @brittmb115, @thewiigers,

@auteurdelabre, @quicax3, @casa-boiardi, @amyispxnk, @untamedheart81,

@paleidiot, @bbiophiliaa, @laurrrra, @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 (I apologize if I missed anyone, but if you are looking for any of my fic updates, please feel free to follow my updates blog @chiriwritesstuffnotifs!)

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praisethegabs · 7 months

Text

METANOIA

ID!Professor!Leon Kennedy x Student!F!Reader

euphoria masterlist

summary: your relationship with your professor remains a secret for everyone. despite the fact that you both know this is wrong, you both can't stay away from each other, making this way too difficult than it should be. things don't end too well when an unexpected person from his past appears suddenly at the same time your ex decides to win you back, jeopardizing your secret.

warnings: age gap, reader is in college and in mid 20s while Leon is in his 30s. NSFW content, delicate to rough sex, p in v, oral receiving (both), praise kink, degradation kink (eventually), use of pet names (bunny), vaginal fingering, masturbation, cum swallowing, dom!leon and sub!reader. leon is insecure af. oc named chloe as the reader's best friend.

word count: 7271k

a/n: part two of the euphoria series. this part is much longer than the first one bc let's be honest, we need some drama to balance things.

tags: @worriedweirdo

METANOIA (psychology) is the process of experiencing a psychotic "breakdown" and subsequent, positive psychological re-building or "healing"

The early morning light filtered through the blinds, casting a warm glow across the sparsely decorated room despite the noise caused by the rain. Leon sat at his desk, gazing out at the campus that spread before him like a promise of new beginnings. He took a deep breath, the crisp air filling his lungs, as if to cleanse the lingering doubts that clung to him.

The recent break-up had been a harsh jolt, a sudden rending of a once inseparable bond. The wounds were still fresh, and Leon sought solace in the unfamiliar halls of Woodsboro University. It was a chance for reinvention, a slate wiped clean.

As he leafed through the pages of his notebook, his pen poised in mid-air, Leon couldn't help but revisit the night that had left him wrestling with his own morality. A chance encounter with you, a whirlwind of emotions, and a single night that blurred lines he had once thought clear.

He had always prided himself on his sense of right and wrong, on being a man of integrity. But now, as he sat in the quiet of his new office inside his new apartment, those lines seemed to blur, to twist and contort into something unfamiliar. He wondered if this was a sign of weakness, a fracture in the armor he had worn for so long.

With a heavy sigh, Leon closed the notebook, setting aside his doubts for the moment. He knew he couldn't change the past, but he could shape the future. He would navigate this new chapter with care, mindful of the choices he made, and the impact they would have.

As the clock ticked on, Leon's resolve strengthened. He had to remind himself to find his way in this new environment, redefining not only his academic pursuits but also the man he aspired to be. The weight of his decisions, both recent and past, served as a reminder that growth often came from moments of discomfort.

But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself it was wrong and his morals were in conflict, the more he wanted to replay that night. Leon thought he could never feel that way again, he even believed he was destined to be alone, but when he saw you dancing in that crowded room, looking so beautiful and desirable, he felt something new floating inside his stomach.

It was pure physical attraction, but lord have mercy, his body reminded him everyday about this carnal pleasure, which he only felt with you and despite the fact he wanted you desperately, he still found himself in constant conflict.

A knock on his door was enough to catch his attention.

And there you were; your hair dropping water from the rain outside. You already knew the way to his place, and despite the fact that your relationship was pure sexual, you couldn't help but feel something for him as well.

"Why did you take so long? I was starting to get worried, " he said as you entered his place, watching outside carefully to make sure no one saw you.

"I'm sorry, but it's raining outside, and I had to stop before coming here," you said to him, removing your jumper. "I bought this. For you"

It was a bottle of wine. He seemed surprised by your kind gesture, but the feeling of guilty was practically eating him alive inside and out. Every time he tried to go back, to turn away from you, he ended up fucking you hard. It felt like this was the only way to release his conscience from guilt, the only way he could wash his insecurities and doubts; you ended up being his drug, his addiction. And he hated himself for using you like that.

"I think we should talk" he says, sighing heavily. He needed to be strong. He needed to do what was right.

"What's wrong?" You asked, the smile on your lips fading away when you notice isn't good news.

"I don't know. I can't keep reminding myself this is wrong, that we shouldn't be doing this... I came here because I wanted to start over, to forget what happened before... but then, when I saw you... and later that night when we had sex..." Leon said, walking around his living room, venting his feelings and his thoughts with you. "I just can't stop thinking I'm an awful person that's just using you to release my conscious from guilt... but this is so messed up... I mean, I could actually be your father and... and I'm your fucking professor... God, this is so wrong"

And his confession, this breakdown he was having... it was the first time you saw someone scared like this. You thought he was having a middle age crises or something like that, and you know he was entirely right. What you both were doing was wrong, against a lot of rules and basically defying the ethics and morals between your positions. But at the same time, he was so weak for you, and you were so weak for him. He was the only person that could put you on your knees, and apparently, you were the one that made his eyes sparkle like fireworks in the night sky.

This was pure chemistry.

Leon sat on the edge of an old, worn-out armchair, his face buried in his hands, his disheveled hair a stark contrast to the exhaustion etched into his features. You sat across him, wondering what you could possibly do. Taking a deep breath, you decided again to follow your guts. He needed you.

You moved closer, the soft rustling of your movements breaking the silence as you knelt down beside him. You placed a gentle hand on his trembling back.

"Leon," you whispered, your voice a soothing balm, "you don't have to carry this burden alone."

Leon's shoulders shook, and he lifted his head, tears glistening in his weary eyes.

"You don't understand. I've put you in danger. Our secret, it's a ticking time bomb." He said, and for a moment, you knew something was wrong with him. Maybe he was having a hard time accepting what happened between you two. "It's just a matter of time before one of us end fucked up"

You moved even closer, your touch becoming more comforting as you cradled his face in your hands.

"I know it's complicated, Leon. But we've made that choice knowing the risks. I'm not a child, and I can make my own choices. You're not alone in this." You said assuring, trying to find the right words to make him understand that you were in this too.

A tremor ran through Leon's body as he looked into your eyes, seeing nothing but understanding and love there. It was a carnal relationship. You were not his girlfriend, and yes, he was old enough to be your father, but you weren't naive. You wanted to be with him, and he knew that.

"I'm just scared, sweetheart. Scared that one day, they'll find out about us, and you'll be hurt because of me. I can lose my job and never teach again... there's so many things that could happen" Leon sighs, trying to recompose himself. He sounded like a baby boy, but he didn't care. He was honest with his feelings.

You leaned in, your foreheads touching, and whispered:

"Leon, I made this choice too. I knew the risks. But I also knew that I wanted you so badly... and at this point, I just can't stay away from you... and it sucks because I never imagined I would fall in love with my old-enough-to-be-my-dad professor. But here I am" you said, facing his blue eyes so deeply. He penetrates your soul, invading your veins like a drug.

His breathing slowed, and he nodded, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss. For a moment, the world outside ceased to exist, and it was just the two of you, finding solace in each other's embrace.

"I'm not ready for another relationship" he whispers, sounding broken. And that hit you really hard.

"I'm not either. But I promise I won't hurt you... just let me... take care of you" you whispered, your forehead touching his, as you feel his breath against your face.

Six months passed since his apparent breakdown that day.

And since that day, Leon seemed happier than before. All his worries were washed away when he decided to give himself another chance and enter this journey with you. He was healing, learning a new life with you, and despite the fact that it was a secret, he couldn't help but feel a teenager again.

He was distracted, writing in the board and thinking about his life. Then, when Leon turned to face his class, you were there, in the front row. Your eyes locked on his, and the way he was looking at you, it was enough to make your body go feral, already feeling something wet between your thighs.

"So, today's class will be different. I won't give you guys another lecture, " Leon says, making his students chuckle. "Shall we try a new dynamics? Please, Chloe, give me a hand"

Chloe glanced at you, and her cheeks blushed hard. She knew what was happening between you two, and when she saw you nodding discretely your head, she sighed in relief. She went next to him, waiting for new instructions. Leon asked her to help move some desks from the front row, giving enough space to everyone join them in a circle.

"I know, it's sounds like we're in elementary school, but I promise it'll be fun" Leon says, sitting on the floor. "When the subject is war, I want you guys to have a different experience. Yes, we all know what happened between 1914 and 1945, plus the consequences after this war..."

His method was simple but very effective. Although he was old, Leon had a way with his students, and the way he used to teach and talk about history, well... it was something else. He was funny and very intelligent. It was worthy to listen to him talk about the subjects because he made everything sound amazing and interesting.

"But let's be honest in here. Do we really know the consequences? The way people were affected? In history, we say there were thousands of people homeless, alone, and broken both emotionally and mentally. The war affected our economy, our jobs, our families..." Leon kept saying, his eyes focused on something else while he was gesturing his hands. "And when we see things from another perspective, we can change the world if we want. Thinking about that, today we'll share together stories from our families and how we got affected by previous events"

His class sounded surprised. He always found a way to improve his classes, to let people feel comfortable, and to enjoy their time together. And it was true. You could see Leon was very passionate about his job. That glow in his eyes, the way he treated every subject.

"Who wants to go first?" Leon asks, and everyone raised their hands, with no exceptions. "Okay... let's start with..."

And then, his eyes met yours. Everyone was looking at you, even Chloe. You gasped, but then started to talk.

"My family's experience during World War II," you began, your gaze fixed on the map, "is a story of resilience and sacrifice. My grandmother lived in Poland during the war. She was just a teenager when the war broke out."

You paused, your thoughts drifting back in time as you continued. Then you remembered all the times that your family shared this story as a reminder of how cruel the world could be sometimes.

"Her family faced the unimaginable. They were forced to flee their home as the Nazis occupied Poland. They endured hunger, fear, and the constant threat of discovery. My great-grandfather joined the resistance, risking his life to fight for his country's freedom." You said next, remembering the countless times your grandmother told you that story.

You stood up, walked to the board, and moved your finger across the map, tracing the path of your family's journey.

"They traveled for weeks, sometimes on foot, seeking refuge in neighboring countries. They faced discrimination and hardship along the way, but they never lost hope." You said, showing the path your family did to escape war.

"Eventually, they found safety in the United Kingdom, where they rebuilt their lives. My grandmother went on to become a nurse, dedicated to helping others, inspired by the wartime experiences that had shaped her." Your voice grew more impassioned as you shared your family's story.

The classroom was silent, the gravity of your family history sinking in. Leon, especially, couldn't keep his eyes off you. He was paying attention to every single word you said.

"Their story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit during the darkest of times. It's a reminder that war doesn't just affect soldiers and politicians; it touches the lives of ordinary people in profound ways." You concluded, looking at your colleagues, feeling his eyes on you.

"Thank you for sharing that personal perspective. It's a powerful reminder of the human stories that lie beneath the pages of history books." And then, Leon nodded, his eyes filled with respect for your storytelling.

Moving forward, everyone in the class had their moment to speak. Meanwhile, you've noticed that sometimes, Leon was looking at you and then looking somewhere else. At the end of the class, he called you again. His excuse was something related to your last essay that he needed to tell you, and that was why he waited until everyone left the room.

"Am I in trouble, Mr. Kennedy?" You asked, biting your lower lip as you watch him close the door.

"Oh, you have no idea," he said, walking towards you, his hand reaching the back of your head as he pulled you into a kiss. "God, you're so beautiful today. I had a hard time focusing in the class"

"That's why you suggested the conversation? Very smart" you whispered, feeling his lips on your neck as he kisses you passionately.

"Meet me tonight at my place" he said, his hand sliding through your thighs, making their way to your pussy. "At seven"

"Yes, sir" you moaned softly in his ear, automatically spreading your legs for him.

You felt his fingers touching your pussy. Today, you were using a skirt with no panties, since you liked to tease him between classes and when he saw that, he went crazy. You knew he would make you pay back for teasing him, but you didn't care.

"Come on, you really thought I didn't see you teasing me like that?" Leon whispered, circling your clit very slowly as your body joints with his touch. "Such a naughty girl... you think you can walk around shaking that ass and I won't do anything?"

"No, sir" you moaned, biting your lip and trying to control your breath while he kept touching you, his fingers dancing and playing with you.

He kept circling your clit, sometimes his fingers entering your pussy, savoring your cunt. With his free hand, he grabbed your hair tight, pushing your head back and forcing you to look at him while he's fucking you with his fingers. You knew if you closed your legs, he would punish you, so you didn't dare to defy him.

"Please, sir... let me cum" you begged, already feeling the pleasant feeling growing inside you.

And then, a knock on his door was enough to make him back off. Your legs were shaking, your breathing was labored, and Leon glanced at you, being extremely calm. He swallowed and smiled at you.

"Yes?" He said out loud to the person outside.

The door opened.

There was a beautiful woman, she was the most gorgeous you've ever seen in your life. She had a look in her face that you knew pretty well; arrogance. Her eyes met yours, and you felt something burning within you. The way she was looking at him... it made you uncomfortable.

And when she entered that room, you looked at Leon. He was pale.

When you entered your apartment, Chloe was sitting next to the window and painting her nails. When she noticed the look you had on your face, she immediately stopped what she was doing, knowing you needed to talk.

"Hey, bestie. You look like you've seen a ghost. What's up?"

You dropped your bag beside Chloe and plopped down next to her. You took a deep breath and began.

"You won't believe what happened after class today. Leon and I were talking about my essay when this mysterious woman walked in." You said to her, avoiding some spicy details.

"Mysterious woman? Do you mean like a substitute teacher or something?" Chloe raised an eyebrow.

"No, Chloe, it was nothing like that. She was… I don't even know how to describe her. Short dark hair, wearing this red dress that looked like it was from a different century, and she had this air of, I don't know, mystery and arrogance." You shook your head, describing the woman you saw earlier.

"Okay, so what did she do?" Chloe's curiosity grew as she leaned closer, listening to every single word you said.

"The weird part is that as soon as she walked in, Leon's entire demeanor changed. He went all distant, like he didn't even know me. And then, Chloe, he started talking to her. He sounded a little nervous, and she was practically eating him in there!" You continued, your voice tinged with frustration and confusion.

"That's... bizarre. I mean, Leon has always been attentive to you. Are you sure it wasn't just some random conversation?" Chloe's eyes widened, and she leaned in closer.

"I'm positive, Chloe. I could see it in his eyes. It was like he was under some kind of spell, completely captivated by her. And the way they looked at each other, it was like I didn't even exist." You nodded vigorously, sighing again. The image is playing in your head like a loop.

Chloe frowned sympathetically.

"Wow, sis, that does sound strange. Maybe you should talk to Leon about it, find out what's going on." She suggests, trying to cheer you up, knowing it was the right thing to do.

"I know I should, but I don't even know how to bring it up. It felt so... personal, you know? Like they had this secret connection, and I was just an outsider." You sighed again, your frustration evident.

Chloe looked at you like she was thinking about the right words. She knew about your secret relationship with Leon, and despite the fact she was concerned at the very beginning, she truly supported you. And then, you feel her put her arm around your shoulders.

"You're not an outsider, sweetie. Leon cares about you, and there must be a reasonable explanation for this. Maybe he didn't even realize he was acting that way. Talk to him, okay? Communication is key." She says kindly at you, her smile shining.

"You're right, Chloe. I'll talk to him and try to figure this out. I just hope it's nothing serious." You sighing, nodding your head, agreeing with Chloe.

She smiled again and then returned to finish her nails. You texted Leon to know if you could go see him or talk, and then, you left your phone to do your papers from the week.

As the hours pass by, you get no replies from Leon, which is odd. He never failed to text you. Even when he had a lot of essays to read, he always took some minutes from his time to talk to you.

You had spent the past few hours anxiously pacing your apartment, your mind a whirlwind of worry and confusion. Leon had been avoiding your calls and messages, and your instic were telling you something was wrong. Finally, unable to bear the uncertainty any longer, you decided to confront him. Lucky for you, Chloe wasn't in there to stop you from doing something stupid. You didn't care.

You took some time to go to his place. You were thinking about that woman. The way she looked at you, the way she was standing between the two of you. You felt something inside your chest. And it wasn't good.

You stood before the door to Leon's apartment, your heart pounding in your chest. With trembling fingers, you knocked on the door, the sound echoing in the hallway. After what felt like an eternity, the door creaked open, revealing Leon's tired face.

"Hey," you stammered, your voice quivering. "We need to talk."

Leon hesitated for a moment before reluctantly stepping aside, allowing you to enter his cozy and cute apartment. The atmosphere felt heavy, suffused with an unspoken tension. You could sense that something was terribly wrong.

You both stood there for a moment, neither of you saying a word. Finally, Leon broke the silence, his voice strained.

"We can't keep doing this." He says, avoiding your eyes for a brief moment.

Doing what? You thought, your heart sinking. You knew exactly what he meant, but hearing it out loud was a devastating blow.

"What do you mean?" Tears welled up in your eyes as you whispered, your heart skipping a few beats inside your chest.

Leon ran a hand through his disheveled hair, his eyes avoiding yours.

"Us. This... relationship, whatever it is. It's not fair to either of us. I can't give you what you deserve, and I can't keep pretending that I can." He says, and for a moment, you thought he was also heartbroken.

Your entire world seemed to crumble around you as the words sunk in. You had grown so attached to Leon, and you had allowed yourself to hope for something more. But now, it was all slipping away. Tears spilled down your cheeks, your voice trembling with hurt and anger.

"So, you're just going to push me away without even trying to make it work?" You ask him, your words painfully hitting you hard.

"I wish it were that simple. But it's not. I can't keep hurting you like this." Leon's shoulders slumped, and he looked defeated.

With that, he turned away from you, leaving you standing alone in his apartment. You felt like your heart had been ripped from your chest. You knew that trying to change his mind would be futile. With a heavy heart, you made your way to the door.

As you stepped out into the cold night air, you felt a mix of emotions — heartbreak, anger, and confusion. You couldn't go back to your apartment, not now. Chloe would ask you a thousand different questions, and you weren't in the mood to answer. In a moment of recklessness, you reached for your phone and called your ex-boyfriend, someone familiar who had always been there for you.

"Hey," you said when he answered. "Do you want to meet up? I could use some company."

Matthew's voice was warm and comforting as he agreed, and you knew that, at least for tonight, you needed the familiarity of the past to help mend your wounded heart.

As you stepped into the bar, the low hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses enveloped you. Looking around, you couldn't help but feel a pang of nervousness as you glanced at the familiar figure waiting by the entrance. Matthew, your ex-boyfriend, stood there with a hesitant smile, his eyes carrying a mix of uncertainty and nostalgia.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft.

"Hey," you replied, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Then, you two exchanged awkward pleasantries and then settled into a booth at the back of the bar.

The atmosphere was charged with unspoken words as they ordered drinks. After a moment, Matthew cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately," he admitted, his gaze fixed on the tabletop.

"Me too, Matt. It's hard not to, you know." You sighed, you heart fluttering.

You two began to talk about your past, reminiscing about the good times and dissecting the reasons for your breakup. As the conversation flowed, old emotions resurfaced, and your connection reignited. With a mixture of longing and desire, Matthew reached across the table and gently caressed your hand. You met his gaze, your eyes filled with a mixture of longing and uncertainty.

And then, you finally remembered your previous conversation with Leon. You were so heartbroken by his words; he made you feel like heaven, and then he dropped you like you were nothing. And the sad part was you couldn't understand why.

You look at Matthew, and then it happens.

Your lips met in a passionate kiss, igniting a spark that died a long time ago. But as your kiss deepened, a wave of nausea washed over you, and you pulled away, gasping.

"I... I need some air," you stammered, sliding out of the booth and rushing towards the exit.

The cool night air hit your face as you stumbled outside, trying to collect your thoughts. Feeling disoriented, you leaned against the brick wall of the bar. That's when you heard a familiar voice.

"What the hell?"

Turning around, you found herself face to face with Leon. His eyes widened in surprise as he took in your disheveled appearance.

"Leon, I..." You started, but before you could explain, Leon interrupted.

"Come with me," he said firmly, slipping his arm around your waist and leading your away from the bar. You both walked in silence, a subtle tension hanging in the air.

As they reached Leon's apartment, you felt a mix of relief and trepidation. Leon's face was tense, his brows furrowed, as he tried to find the right words to express his feelings. The tension between them was palpable, a thick cloud of unresolved emotions hanging in the air.

"You went out with Matthew again?" Leon's voice was laced with disappointment as he folded his arms across his chest.

"What's the big deal, Leon? You're the one who ended things, remember? You said we wouldn't work out." You look at him, angry and frustrated.

Leon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had to choose his words carefully.

"It's not that simple. There are things you don't know." He says, avoiding your gaze for a moment. There you knew, he was hiding something.

"Leon," you began, your voice quivering with a mix of frustration and hurt, "I can't believe you're making such a big deal out of this."

Leon took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

"It's not about making a big deal out of it. It's about trust and respect in our relationship." He says firmly, trying to justify what happened.

You clenched your fists, your eyes flashing with anger. For a moment, you wanted to punch him in the face after he said that. He was being a hypocrite.

"Trust? Respect? You're the one who broke up with me, remember? You said we wouldn't work out. So why do you care who I go out with now?" You asked him again, your voice raising a little.

Leon's jaw tightened.

"I broke up with you because of something else, but that doesn't mean I stopped caring about you. And it certainly doesn't mean I want to see you with your ex."

You shook your head, your frustration mounting. Why couldn't he just trust you? You both been hiding this relationship for months, and now you noticed he didn't truly trust you. And that hurts a lot.

"You can't have it both ways, Leon. You can't end things and then act like you have a say in who I see or what I do." You said to him with a deep sigh. And it was true. He wasn't your owner.

Leon's voice grew more desperate.

"I still love you. I thought we could work through our problems, but seeing you with him... it hurts." He said, his breath was heavier.

"What are you hiding from me?" You ask him, wanting nothing more but the truth. You deserved to know. "Who was that woman?"

Leon avoided your gaze again, which made you way more angrier. He sat on his couch, his face buried in his hands. At this very moment, he was having the most difficult choice in his hands. It was a burden.

"She's... my ex fiancé" Leon finally looks at you, and this time, your jaw dropped. "And I think she knows about us"

And again, you felt your heart skipping a few beats. Your palms were sweating cold, and you felt your entire body shaking. This was very serious.

"What do you mean?" You ask, sounding less angry and more concerned, sitting next to him on his couch.

Leon took a deep breath, his fingers trembling as he pulled out his phone. He unlocked the screen and handed it over to you. On the screen were a series of threatening text messages, the sender's name blocked. Your eyes widened as you read the ominous words.

"Leon, who's sending you these messages? What's going on?" You ask horrified to him, still looking at his phone.

Leon swallowed hard, his throat dry.

"I don't know who it is, but they somehow found out about us, about our relationship. Look at the last message." He pointed at the screen, his voice quivering with a mix of fear and anger.

The final message was chilling: "Break up with her, Leon, or everyone at college will know your secret. Your reputation will be ruined."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked up from the phone to meet Leon's gaze.

"Leon, holy shit... we can't let them control us like this. I know it's against the rules, but we love each other." You said, trying to be reasonable. You were shaking. If someone leaked the information, he would be ruined for life.

Leon nodded, his eyes filled with determination.

"I know. I don't want to break up with you. But I'm scared of what they might do if we don't comply." He sighs, trying to find a way out from this mess.

"So... I think we... I don't know" Your voice sounds more like a whisper, and he looks at you.

Then, suddenly, you feel his lips against yours, his hands trailing down your body. Leon gripped your wrist and twisted it behind your back; you can feel his nails dug sharply into your skin, and instantly, you felt a rush of excitement, followed immediately by a wave of desire.

You had secretely wanting for this, had spelled out the fantasy in detail, wondering how he would fulfill your fantasy. And now that it was here, digging into your flesh and forcing your face-down onto the wall, it was too much: not just the helplessness, but how exciting the helplessness felt.

You didn't want to be that person. That cliche, the powerful woman who deep down just wants to be mastered by a more powerful man. Your safeword bubbled up in your throat, but you gritted your teeth and choked it back down. You had begged for this, and by God, you were going to see it through.

Leon led you to his room, already throwing you on his bed, spreading your legs without gentleness. He needed you. He desired you more than anything.

He forced his knee between your thighs and fumbled with his zipper, and all you could do was basically smalls whimpers, in something resembling real panic, as you felt pure wetness inside your pussy, already aching without his touches.

"Jesus Christ, bunny... I've missed seeing you like this" he whispers, his lips already circling your nipples.

His words made your pussy wetter, and the sharp fingers forcing your cunt lips apart made it wetter still, and you moaned in desire and pleasure at your treacherous pussy that was begging for his cock to force itself inside you like it was the last thing you would do in life.

"I'm gonna take you, bunny. I'm gonna make you scream my name" he said, his grip getting tight as you feel your stomach twisting.

And then, you feel him rammed himself inside you with full thrusts, going so deeper that you felt pain at first. He pinned your hands up, holding them so tight that it was almost impossible to get rid of him. His lips sucked your nipples with so intensity that when he released them, it was a soft shade of red.

"My bunny seems lusty" he moans again, still holding you tight.

"F-uck" you moan, closing and squeezing your eyes, your body automatically following his pace, your tits shaking up and down.

You feel Leon moving in and out of you. And your body jerked back and forth with the strength of his movement. The bed was practically banging against the wall with violence, and with every sharp thrust, your skin slapped together lusciously. This sex was loud and violent, just as you'd wanted.

Your moans and cries grew louder. You were at the very edge, about to explode into pleasure. Noticing how close you were, Leon flipped you over seamlessly and continued pumping into you with enough force to make you see stars. You were crying, desperate to be released, desperate to have your orgasm and be his.

You open your eyes, tears falling down your cheeks. His eyes were shining like sapphires, touched by the sun in a glorious morning, and his perfect features were shimmering with sweat. Leon looked beautiful than ever, like he was made by the Gods and blessed with their grace.

“You are mine, bunny. Do you understand me? I don't want to see you with him ever again" he rasped fiercely, leaning forward, as you felt him grabbing your face gently with one hand.

Waves of heat flooded your body. All you wanted was to cum on him, all you wanted was to be his and his only. You didn't care if people find out about you two; you wanted him.

Suddenly, Leon obliged you, wrapping his arms around your back. All you left escape was a gasp when he swung you onto his lap as he moved to the edge of the bed, still forcing you to keep your legs open. In one brutal thrust, he set you down on his length, filling you so suddenly you cried out in shock. His hands roamed, over you back and bottom, on your breasts, rubbing against your nipples.

He was everywhere.

Leon pulled you back up and then slammed you down again. You felt like you were flying, spinning, wondering why he made you feel so good and why you didn't let him do that before. Waves of pleasure rolled over you, making your entire body shiver with anticipation of your climax. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, holding you down when gravity ceased to exist.

And he was kind to let you cum.

You gasped for air, and the orgasm came to your relief. You were vaguely aware of his voice, your body shaking with this sudden release of pleasure as he whispered words of love and care. When you came back to your reality, you glanced at him, a tired smile on your lips, indicating you were more than satisfied.

"I love you" he says finally, kissing you passionately, his sweaty face and tired expression admiring yours.

Things couldn't be better for both of you and Leon. Sure, you both had to pretend for everyone nothing was going on. His ex fiancé was still around, and Matthew kept trying to convince you to hang out, which you declined every time, saying you needed to focus on college and, most recently, your new job.

You were working on a coffee shop not so far from your apartment, and you were excited. At least once in a week, Leon would go in there just to see you, and sometimes he wasn't alone. A few other professors would go in there as well, so he had excuses to see you.

As for the blackmail messages, it stopped for a few days. The last one he received was a picture from both of you kissing, so he decided it was safe to keep things lay low. He had to ignore you during classes, he avoided you inside the college — but at his apartment he would eat you alive without hesitation, making his neighbors know you're his and make them hear you moan very loud and beg to cum.

"So, how you're doing?" Chloe asks, sitting next to you for lunch. "It seems like you're happier than usual"

"Oh, it's just my new job" you said, obviously lying. Leon had specifically told you not to tell anyone, even your best friend.

"I'm happy for you" she smiled, her eyes shining again. "Does Matthew keep texting you?"

"Not really, I said that night was a mistake, and I was drunk. I apologized to him, " you explained, your eyes focused on your laptop as you research for your next assignment. "Anyways, it won't happen again"

Chloe nods, and then her attention returns to her own work. You wanted so badly to tell her about you and Leon, but you knew you couldn't put him in trouble. You sat at your desk in your bedroom, your fingers tapping nervously on the keyboard as you tried to focus on your homework. The soft glow of your laptop illuminated the room, casting a pale, eerie light on your anxious expression. You glanced at the clock on your wall, your heart racing with anticipation. Leon was supposed to call you any minute now.

Just as you reached for your phone, it vibrated with an incoming message. Your heart skipped a beat as you picked it up, hoping to see Leon's name. Instead, the message was from an unknown number.

The message read: "Naughty slut. I know your secret. I know about you and Leon. If you don't do as I say, everyone at college will find out."

Fear clenched at your chest, and you felt your hands trembling. You knew he was receiving messages, and it was a matter of time before you got your first, too. You quickly typed a response, your fingers fumbling on the screen.

"Who is this? What do you want?"

The reply came almost instantly, and it sent a chill down your spine: "You'll find out soon enough. But here's a taste of what's to come."

A photo appeared on the screen, a candid shot of you and Leon sharing an intimate moment inside his apartment. Your heart sank as you realized just how much the blackmailer knew.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you texted back: "Please, don't do this. We'll do whatever you want, just don't ruin our lives."

The reply was merciless: "You have 48 hours to meet my demands. You'll receive instructions soon. Remember, I'm watching."

Your phone went silent, but the threat hung in the air like a dark cloud. You knew your world was about to crumble, and there was no escape from the impending storm. You couldn't tell Leon, the blackmailer would know instantly. It was only you.

The room was dark and silent, the only source of illumination being the glow of your phone on the bedside table. You had been sitting there for what felt like an eternity, anxiety gnawing at you every passing minute. You had followed the instructions meticulously, as the blackmailer had demanded: no police, no friends, no Leon, just you, alone.

The digital clock on your phone ticked away relentlessly, the seconds feeling like a cruel countdown to your impending doom. You had been given 48 hours to comply with the blackmailer's demands, and time was running out.

As you stared at the screen, your heart raced with every passing minute. You knew the stakes were high, but the thought of exposing her secret relationship with Leon was unbearable. You couldn't let anything bad happen to him.

Just when desperation was starting to overtake you, a familiar chime broke the silence of the room. A text message had arrived. Your trembling hands reached for the phone, and you unlocked it with trembling fingers.

The message was chillingly simple: "You have one hour. Go to the college auditorium. Come alone, or your secret will be revealed."

Your heart sank as you read those words. The threat was crystal clear, and you had no choice but to comply. You quickly texted back an acknowledgment, confirming your compliance.

With a heavy heart, you began to prepare. You couldn't let this person destroy your life and Leon's. The next hour was a blur of frantic thoughts and hasty preparations. You dressed in dark clothing, concealing your identity as best as you could.

As the minutes ticked away, you left your apartment, your heart pounding with fear and determination. You had no idea what awaited you at the auditorium, but you were willing to do whatever it took to protect Leon.

As you arrive at the college, you walk towards the auditorium. You pushed open the heavy oak doors of the college auditorium, your heart pounded in your chest. That room, usually a place of inspiration and camaraderie, felt eerie and foreboding today.

The rows of empty seats seemed to stretch endlessly before you, leading you closer to the stage where a single figure stood, bathed in a cold, unforgiving spotlight. Chloe. Your best friend. The person you trusted the most.

"Chloe, what's going on?" Your voice quivered as you approached your friend, your steps echoing in the cavernous auditorium.

"Surprise" Chloe turned, her face twisted with a mix of emotions, her eyes wide and frenzied.

"Why are you doing this?" You demanded, tears brimming in your eyes as you realized it was her all the time.

"Because I love you, sweetheart. I've always loved you, and I couldn't stand seeing you with Leon." Chloe's laughter was unnerving, a shrill, hollow sound that bounced off the walls.

Your heart sank as the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Chloe's jealousy had driven her to blackmail, to manipulate, to hurt those you cared about.

"You... love me?" You stammered.

Chloe's expression twisted with a manic intensity.

"Yes! I would do anything for you, darling. I had to get rid of Matthew and Leon to eliminate the competition and to make you see that you belong with me." She reveals to you, sounding sadistic and crazy.

She opened the curtains from the auditorium, and there he was. His face had a few bruises, and he was gagged, tied by his hands. You gasped in shock, but you didn't dare to move. You felt a chill run down your spine. This wasn't the Chloe you had known. This was a stranger, consumed by obsession.

"Chloe, this isn't love," you said, your voice trembling. "This is madness."

Chloe's laughter grew louder, more unhinged.

"You don't understand, darling. I did it all for us." She looks at you, pointing a knife towards you.

As Chloe's words hung in the air, the auditorium's silence was shattered by the sound of sirens approaching in the distance. Your heart raced, realizing that Chloe's breakdown had reached a critical point.

"I can't let them take you away," Chloe muttered, her voice a desperate whisper.

Before you could react, Chloe lunged forward, but a uniformed police officer burst through the auditorium doors, gun drawn. Chaos ensued, the echoes of sirens and shouting blending with your racing thoughts.

It happened fast.

In one minute, Chloe tried to end his life. In the other, you heard a gunshot, and Chloe was on the floor. You screamed, reaching both Leon and Chloe.

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gretavanfleetposts · 4 months

Text

Fire in the Water: Chapter Ten - Part Two

Author's Note: I cannot believe the end is already here. The end of this chapter is very inspired by the song Better by SYML so give that a listen if you want to dive further into my brain. And thank you, thank you all for coming along on the journey with me. It has meant everything to me! And as always, thank you to @gretasmokerising and @earthlysorrows for everything Content Warnings: swearing, talk of the afterlife, death, talk of dead souls, killing (someone straight up turns to dust), penetrative sex (18+ minors do not interact) Word Count: 9.5k

It wasn't easy. You spent days sitting almost completely still in Jake's bed trying to decipher who in the room around you was there in physical form and who was a dead spirit walking. You spent your days tired as your physical form wasn't used to being, well, alive. You weren't meant for the world you were now in and it took its toll.

But even more difficult was the anger growing in your body like wildfire that would catch the moment you bound to Jake and your gifts returned. It was the reason you hadn't yet done it. You knew however much you struggled now, it would be nothing compared to that. And it scared you.

Jake was by your side every instant but without his own gifts, he was punished to sit at your side helplessly, watching the torment flare in your eyes and only ever being able to tell you who was in the corner, if anyone was there at all. It pained him being unable to put you out of your misery and you could guess that it pained him to be unable to put himself out of his misery too.

It was days that you spent wandering around his house silently, trying to remember who you had been, trying to decipher the things around you and the things inside of you. Days you spent trying to piece together memories with Jake’s help, though he couldn’t fill very many gaps for you given the stubbornness you’d lived with the first time you’d been alive. And the longer the days went on, the clearer it became to both of you, although it went unsaid: Sam was the one better suited to help you navigate the situation you now found yourself in. Sam could have given you more answers and more details of your life. Sam could have shut the voices up and cleared the room of all intruders.

The others kept their distance all the while, other than Josh. He was more than happy to recant your relationship and the months you had spent together before your meeting any of the others. His presence alone had warmed you, too, but when he left, the angry voices returned with a vengeance. You were forever connected to a world that you now didn't reside in, stuck in a world that you didn't belong to, and a bridge between the two for all things, evil and vile and sometimes, when you were lucky, benevolent, to pass through.

Endless. It was endless.

Until you overheard the twins speaking in low voices from just beyond Jake's French doors after a particularly bad day that you had spent sleeping through most of, intermittently waking with a scream as a breath that was cold and dead fanned over your face.

Endless.

“I called Sam,” you heard Josh say softly to his brother.

“What the fuck, Josh?”

Jake seemed to forget he was supposed to be quiet and his brother shushed him before explaining himself.

“He has a right to know. She has a right to see him. He was the last person she was with, Jake.”

“She isn't ready.”

“She needs him right now,” Josh answered, hushed but urgent. “We both know it. He was the one who taught her how to be a vampire. He's the one she needs now.”

“Don't you fucking say that. Please don't fucking-don't say that.”

Jake's voice cracked and you could hear the instant sigh it pulled from his twin, just as harrowed as Jake was when he let his brother see it.

“Jake, you're never going to lose me, no matter what. And no matter what happens, I will help you get through it. But you can't put this off. She is hurting and I can’t watch it go on much longer.”

“I can't do it.”

Those words chiseled away at you as did the voice that had squeaked out and said them.

“You promised me you would give her the choice. Rebecca is itching to leave. We need to do this now.”

“Josh, I-”

“I won't let you fall apart. But you have to trust me.”

You waited for one of them to speak again but a silence fell between them both for what felt like a long moment. It carried over to you as you contemplated your own feelings. You were angry with Jake over what he had done. It was undeniable and it was growing fierce inside you. But had the roles been reversed, you would have done the same thing.

Finally you watched the doors open and shut behind them both as each twin made their way over to where you sat in Jake's bed. But Jake seemed to distance himself in a way that Josh didn’t. Josh met you where you sat, standing at the end of the bed with a singular hand coming to grab the top of your foot where it rested beneath the covers. He’d formed a habit of giving you a physical cue that he was there in the flesh over the past few days you’d spent reaching for things that weren’t actually there.

Jake, on the other hand, propped himself up against the wall opposite his bed like he was afraid to get any closer. He seemed to be preparing himself for the hurt he must have suspected he would find in the conversation. And you understood that physical distance. It was an emotional wall he was already building.

But even so, Jake was the one to speak first despite the fact that his feet planted him farther away than Josh's did.

“We…we need to talk,” he began slowly.

He struggled to even say it. He struggled to even meet your eyes. And when he did speak, you could tell he was reluctant.

"Rebecca can break the tie," he whispered.

Maybe he hoped you wouldn't hear it.

You sat still for a moment before adjusting yourself and pulling your body into a more upright position, your eyes studying Jake's face all the while.

"What would happen to you?" you asked.

"It would be as if I'd never formed it. For the both of us. And our gifts would be restored."

Your eyes flickered over to Josh quickly before falling to your lap.

To break your tie. It would at least put Jake out of his misery, although you could see the damage it would do before you'd even done it. It practically sat in the room with you, like heavy, judgmental eyes casting shadows over everything.

"You would choose this?" you pressed, and Jake immediately shook his head.

"No. But it's not my choice to make; it's yours.”

His eyes sent a scalding glare toward the back of Josh's head who came to sit on the edge of the bed next to you, his hand now lying flat over yours.

"It isn't either of us that you would pick,” he said softly. “I think we all see that now.”

God, you had ached for Sam. You had tried not to dwell on it but it had become so obvious that even Jake felt it as you sat silently day after day. You burned for him. You needed him. And you were angry with yourself for all of it because the pain that wrote itself onto Jake’s features as his brother said it felt worse than the nightmare you now lived.

“How is she able to do it?”

“You died tied but unbound,” Jake answered, still not meeting your eyes. “Rebecca wasn't even sure we'd still be tied when you returned but seeing as I still don't have my gifts…”

“The tie is weaker now,” Josh continued where his brother left off. “It's vampire magic, apparently. And you're not entirely vampire anymore, are you?”

You weren't. You were even more of an abomination now and your fingers twitched with anger when you let your mind linger on it for too long.

“You keep resurrecting something that's supposed to be dead,” you whispered, keeping your eyes to your lap.

Although you hardly needed to have been staring at Jake to feel the weight of your words and what they did to him. Even Josh seemed to feel it given the way he glanced backward sympathetically at his brother before moving his eyes back to you.

He dipped his face down to try and catch your eyes. “If you bind with Jake, you'll live a happy life. Break it, and you can have whatever it is you want.” And then he sighed and pursed his lips. “We were wrong for trying to put you in a box before. No one is trying to do that now. The decision is yours and yours alone.”

He made it seem so easy when he said it that way, like it was a simple decision and all you had to do was reach out and pick a hand. The reality would be much more complicated, however, because by choosing one, you would give up the other. And if you were destined to walk the earth again, subjected to all that that now encompassed, the question was: who could you no longer live without?

"Can I speak with Jake alone please?” you asked Josh quietly.

He nodded quickly. “Yeah, absolutely. If you need me just…come find me. I'll be close.”

With a single squeeze to your hand, he left silently, pulling the doors shut with only a glance toward his brother before he was out of sight. And in his absence, you pulled yourself from Jake's bed, feet wobbling a little as you gained your balance.

Jake met your eyes silently, watching you stand and pull together what little strength you had left. And he looked just as beaten down as you felt.

“He tried to take himself after. Sam did. When you were…gone, he turned it in on himself but Cassius stopped him. I didn't understand why but maybe I do now. Cassius doesn't play short games.”

The replaying of the memory you didn't want burned into your mind ignited an anger within you, the likes of which you hadn't felt before. It came on suddenly but burned hot in your palms and in your ears.

“Why couldn't you just let me die a natural death? Why couldn't you just let me stay dead?” Your voice was quiet and calm but your fists clenched hard to reel yourself in before you unraveled.

Jake shook his head hard and swallowed, like he was mad at himself or maybe remembering someone else who had accused him of such atrocities.

“I'm selfish,” he whispered so lightly, even with your super hearing you barely hear it.

You were silent but it wasn’t your silence that put Jake on edge. It was your stillness. Your calm. It was somehow scarier to him than your anger. Much more resigned. It was like you had already chosen what it was you wanted.

“Tell me what you're feeling,” he pleaded quietly.

“I don't know,” you answered flatly.

“Don't hide from me-”

“I said I don't know!” you suddenly boomed. And when you glowered at him, he saw a darkness there that he had never seen before, a remnant of something he could never even understand.

“I feel different! I feel things for you that I don't trust! I feel like an abomination! Like-like a rag doll being jerked around by the will of others! I feel empty and I feel a hole in the middle of my chest knowing that Sam is gone and I feel so ashamed to stand here and tell you that he is the only one who makes me feel like I'm not just some grotesque product of your inability to let me go. He's the only one who makes me feel like I am something other than the consequences of your grief.”

His face sank and you could tell you had hurt him in a way that he had never really experienced before. If he'd had his gifts, he might have shielded himself from it. But this way, he had no choice but to feel it. He had no choice but to bleed out in front of you. And it gnawed at you to know that you were the cause, truthful as you had been.

“Then you should be with him. You should,” he said finally, clearing his throat to hide the way his voice threatened to break. “Because I will never be able to let you die. I will never be able to let you go willingly. Never.”

“No, you won't,” you answered meanly. “You couldn't even do it when we weren't tied.”

He shook his head, practically scoffing in frustration and incredulity.

“How could you have asked that of me?”

“It was peaceful, Jake!” you screamed back, your own voice hoarse and losing its tenacity. “I was at peace! He gave me that! And you ripped it from me so violently so that you didn't have to feel it! You feel everything and you face nothing!”

His face seemed to harden instantly.

“You're right,” he agreed, “Sam did something I never would have been able to do, not really. Not if I could have felt it.”

You said nothing but you felt the sigh as your lungs pulled it up and out of your body. It was an endless fight. He would never understand what he had done. He would never understand the things that had drawn you to Sam as you had gotten to know him. Jake had always been right out in front of you but Sam? Sam had always been at your back, practically holding you up as you went about life and navigated things that scared you, even when the thing that scared you was yourself.

“You know, I've held you dead in my arms twice now. I didn't think anything could ever hurt me like that again. But this? This somehow feels even worse.”

“That's not fair,” you whispered through clenched teeth. “I did that for you. I died for you. And I would do it a million times over if I had to.”

His eyes fell shut and he breathed deeply before opening them again to face you and the mess he had helped create.

“But you still wouldn't choose me,” was all he said.

You felt your anger turn to guilt so quickly it could have given you whiplash. And it rendered you speechless under his eyes.

“Josh was right. I have no business keeping you here, not like this. You're not mine to have,” he whispered.

You resisted the urge to turn away from him and cry. Actually, you resisted the urge to cry altogether. There was nothing to cry over. There was no reason the two of you had to torment one another any longer.

“You'll let me go?” you asked quietly, the calm returning to your voice even as your shoulders and body wanted to shake from the sudden cold you felt.

“Yes,” he answered just as calmly. “I won't condemn you to a life you don't want any more than I already have.”

It practically broke you in two and yet still, you fought the sobs that begged to wrack at your body.

The truth was, you did still love Jake. That was the trouble of it all.

He took a step forward finally, meeting you finally, and let his hands raise to grasp at your biceps.

“But I want you to know that even when it's over and the tie is broken, I'll still feel it. My body will remember it. And if you ever want to feel it again,” he sighed as you choked on a sob between his hands, “you need only ask.”

You felt the dam break as you pulled each other into a tight hug, one that didn't hide the anger you felt toward one another but one that made you realize the anger paled in comparison to the love that existed between you, despite the irreparable damage that had been done.

And there, in his hands, you fell apart just a little.

—

When you left Jake to his thoughts in the guesthouse, you found Josh outside at the treeline, staring out into the cold dark space between trees that had been growing tall for decades.

“There's someone in the greenhouse for you,” he said as you met him silently at his side.

You glanced back at the glass structure, the place you'd been carefully avoiding while fighting your own demons right under Jake's nose.

“One more loose end to tie up,” he added as he smiled softly over at you.

You didn’t need to ask. You knew who was waiting for you. And you knew you had Josh to thank for making that happen. Josh was the one who had done everything simply for you in the end. You saw that much better now. He loved you in a way you couldn’t quite comprehend and maybe never would. But what you did know was that you loved him back.

“Thank you,” you breathed out into the silence of the night air, earning a surprised look from the twin you had originally set out to start your life with before things had taken the turn that they had.

“For what?” he asked gently.

“For being you.”

He chuckled softly to himself but there was hardly any humor in it.

“I hope you don't regret letting me into your life. Genuinely.”

“Oh Josh,” you sighed with a simple shake of your head, “I could never regret loving you.”

He turned to pull you into an embrace, one you would remember for the rest of eternity, hopefully even after. At least the safety of his arms never changed. Josh was the most steadfast thing you knew. And despite everything that had happened in the time you'd known him, you knew you would do it all over again just to be with him one more time.

When you pulled away to avoid whatever breakdown would have come rather easily in his arms, he gave you that toothy grin that always soothed you.

“I'll take care of him,” he said unprompted. “I'm his twin, I've always carried a piece of his soul with me. We stitch each other back together. That's what we do.”

You gave him a gentle nod before you turned toward the greenhouse.

Jake was better off in his hands than yours anyway.

The lights in the greenhouse twinkled their usual star-like light, having been restrung so delicately around plants that had been repotted and glass that had been cleaned. It was a much more gentle reminder of how long you'd been gone.

And despite the things you had remembered him doing in the previous days, the whispers in your ears seemed to fade away when you saw him step out of the darkness and into those twinkling lights casting a golden glow on his high cheekbones and droopy brown eyes.

"Josh told me you were alive but I needed to see it for myself."

God, you had even missed his voice.

"Where have you been?" you asked him, resisting the immediate urge to run and jump into his arms.

"Traveling," was all he said.

"Traveling,” you scoffed. “I need a real answer.”

“I knew Jake was hunting down Rebecca. I was planning on ending things but Josh convinced me to wait. He had hope. I decided it was better that I kept my distance in the meantime.”

He took a step closer and you could see he looked just as desolate as the twins did. Just as tired as Jake did. Maybe moreso.

“I can hear what he's done to you,” he whispered. “I can hear the things that haunt you. Even if you don’t want me around anymore, I can help you. Only if you want.”

Fuck, he made it so hard. You deserved your answers, of course. You deserved to know why he had done what he had. But goddamnit, you wanted to beg him to touch you, to reach into your mind and hold things together the way you never seemed to be able to.

But instead of letting yourself long for him too desperately, you took your moment to question him instead, while you had him there. And you tried to remember your anger.

“You sold out your own brother. How could you have done that?"

"I had made a deal with Cassius. I was so careful. I was listening to him every step of the way. Every thought until just before you…”

You only stared at him as he trailed off into silence, studying you. It was the first time he'd seen you alive in longer than Jake had and it felt so unfair that they had kept him from you even for that long. You were both thinking it. You didn’t have to be a mind reader to see that.

“I never even heard it,” he started again when he finally snapped out of the trance your eyes had put him in. “I was so certain of it. Over and over, he just kept thinking it. He would see it through to the end. I thought that meant he would…” He shook his head as he recalled it. “I thought it meant he would keep our deal. I thought I-”

“What deal did you make?” you interrupted him.

“I'm the threat. I'm the one he fears the most. Or at least I was. I told him he could kill me once and for all if he let you live. I told him I'd go without a fight if he let Jake's poor judgment slide just one more time.”

“But you went there to betray him."

He shook his head like you didn’t see what was written so plainly in front of you as he took a single step forward.

"That day in the greenhouse when you said Josh would never deserve a monster like you? I realized it was his fault. He did that to you. He was the one who crashed the car, he was the one that turned you, he was the one that stole you from Josh and now he's the one that's turned you into this.”

You felt a sting pierce your heart as he gestured to you, the abomination that you now were that, truthfully, you didn’t want him to see.

“You were always proud of what I was,” you whispered, avoiding the sudden urge to cover yourself with your arms and hide from him.

“But you weren’t,” he argued back as he took another step. “I spent so long trying to convince you that there was nothing wrong with you but you never really believed it. It never did any good that I thought you were perfect because you never saw it yourself.”

He took yet another step toward you until he was only a foot away from you, and the proximity grew hard to ignore. Your bodies had practically become like magnets and the time you’d spent apart only served to strengthen those magnets.

“I have let myself become miserable because of the choices other people made,” he said with a pointed look that was as deadly serious as it was genuine. “Seeing you hate yourself? Hearing the way you’ve hated yourself? I was angry. So much self-torture on my part, so much wallowing in my own misery, but that day in the greenhouse, I stopped feeling so selfish for once. That day I stopped bleeding for myself and I bled for you."

This time you didn't make any attempt to hide your emotions as they wrote themselves plainly across your face in the form of tears, monstrous and ocean-like as they rolled down your cheeks and set a quiver in your chin.

"You always deserved a choice. You deserved to choose the type of person you wanted to be and you deserved to choose who to spend your life with. That is why I turned him in. He stole your decisions from you like it was nothing. I told Cassius he could have me in exchange for you. I told him I would get Jake to agree to stay on the council for a century. He agreed. I thought…I thought he agreed. He said he would see it to the end, our deal-”

“That's not what he meant,” you interjected. It had finally clicked for you. Cassius didn't play short games. And one day you’d probably learn what it was exactly he would want in return but you could hardly find any urge to care inside of you now. “It's the one I now have in my pocket that sees your soul as it truly is. That's what he said to me.”

You watched confusion flash across his face and it was your turn to shake your head furiously at the things he didn’t see that were laid so plainly before him.

“You think I would have just let you die for me?” you implored.

“You never even would have noticed. Your life with Jake would have continued after he did his time-”

“I don't have a life without you, Sam!” you bellowed finally, arms thrown out to your sides in exasperation that he still couldn't see it: that you had chosen him. “Why do you think Cassius wouldn't let you kill yourself too? If he saw this happening, Sam, why do you think he didn't want me to return to find you already dead?”

When you were met with only silence, you let out a frustrated sound.

“I mean, for fuck’s sake, why do you think I haven’t bound myself to Jake yet?”

“You haven't bound to him yet?” Sam asked, his voice suddenly low and urgent as he reached out and let his fingers graze ever so slightly against your forearm.

“No, I haven't!” you yelled out. “I can’t bring myself to do it!”

He looked stunned as he stood there, suddenly searching for air where he previously didn't need it.

“And now that I'm…this,” you gestured to yourself meanly as hot tears bubbled stronger, “the tie is weak. Rebecca can break it.”

“Why would you let her do that?” Sam questioned, his eyes unwavering on you so as not to miss anything you might do.

It almost made you laugh.

“I would do it for you!” you practically screamed at the glassy eyed boy standing in front of you that softened your tone and your emotions almost instantly. “You said you thought we should choose who we take with us to the end. You said that.” And then you stepped closer to him, practically choking on your tears as you struggled to get the stupid words out. “I would break it for you, Sam. I would break it to take you with me. To the end.”

His eyes were watery when he nodded, as if the only thing holding him back was hearing you say it at long last.

“To the end,” he agreed.

His lips were on yours not a second later, commanding your mouth against his and devouring you the way he had wanted to for so long, the way you had wanted him to for so long. And with his hands on your body pulling you into him with abandon, his mind intertwining with yours to shut out the voices that had haunted you every waking second, you found your peace once more.

He alone was where you belonged.

You melded into him that way, amongst the glass and the plants and the twinkling lights. You even felt, with his lips warming yours and his tongue sliding into your mouth to taste you and memorize you this way, that the two of you together transcended time and space together. And in many ways, you did.

You were desperate to have him right then and there. Frantic, even. Who cared who saw? Who cared who heard? You certainly didn't when you had gone so long without him. But the moment he understood what your hands meant to do, he took them both in one grip of his own and pried his mouth away.

“No, not like this. Not while you're still tied.”

You straightened almost instantly. He was right. That wasn't how you wanted him. You wanted to be focused on him when the time finally came. No one but him.

You had waited this long. Surely you could wait a little longer.

“Then let's fix that.”

—

Rebecca stood between you and Jake with some potion-looking liquid she had mixed up in a bowl and boiled over a fire in the backyard. It seemed rather primitive and it made you wonder how exactly she had brought you back but if you had to guess by the way your surroundings and your parents had melted right in front of your eyes, it had been fire that had brought you back so violently. And if you were honest with yourself, you didn’t want the details.

The others sat around quietly, waiting and watching while you kept your eyes squarely on Rebecca. You needed her for this but it did nothing to quell the loathing you felt for her having done what she had. Sam had had to free your mind in order for this magic to work and so it had left you out in the open once more, able to see her handiwork more easily.

“It should be easy. I've already spoken the incantation over it. You both need only drink it and your tie will be severed,” Rebecca explained.

You'd been avoiding Jake's eyes but when you met them now as he was being passed a tiny glass of dark liquid, you hoped he did see the sorrow in yours that things had come to this.

You wouldn't spend your life angry with him. You didn't want to. This was the only way to ensure it. And maybe you owed each other more words. Maybe you even owed each other a kiss or a hug or just some touch to remind one another that things wouldn't always feel this bad between you. But for once, he didn't seek you and you didn't seek him. There seemed to be a silent understanding between you that there was no amount of physical reassurance and no amount of words spoken that could undo what had been done. It would only be time that could remedy the mess you two had made of one another. At least that you had plenty of.

Rebecca handed you a tiny glass of your own and you took it between your fingers, staring down at the elixir that would change the path you were on so dramatically that it didn't even feel real.

You glanced over at Sam who wore an almost expressionless look on his face until he caught sight of your eyes. He gave you the smallest of smiles, one that he contained for his brother's sake, but it was enough to urge you to turn back to Jake and put glass to lips.

You each swallowed it down in one gulp with your eyes unwavering on one another. And as the liquid slid down your throat, its effects were practically instant.

All at once, you felt something within you sever, and suddenly the guilt you had felt for leaving Jake and the pull that tugged at you, digging its heels in and begging you to go to him, it was all gone, dwindling down into nothing more than a mere spark. And left in its wake was an anger that went unmatched.

You could feel your gifts returning to you, sweeping up through your toes and electrifying you on the journey toward your fingers and finally your head. You could tell Jake was experiencing the same thing, his head thrown back as he breathed deeply and tried to adjust to an assault of noise he had gone without and perhaps forgotten how to wrangle.

You, on the other hand, relished in it. For far too long you had felt weak. For far too long you had felt out of control, jostled around at the whims of others. In fact, you were here now because of choices that had been made that were out of your hands. It angered you beyond recognition. How dare he subject you to such a life of torment? How dare he bring you back to face it all like it was nothing?

The wind rustled the trees around you, conjuring up images of the days you had spent with Sam in the forest: the times you had killed and enjoyed it, the times you had hurt him and regretted it, the times you had been blinded by a rage you could neither control nor understand. But you didn’t fear yourself now. You didn’t fear the power that now flowed once more through your veins, made all the more strong thanks to your journey through death.

With your gifts finally intact, your mind no longer clouded by Jake to the extent that it had been, and your rage finally returned to your body, you reached out to take Rebecca's hand. You could feel all of the beings she had tormented before you. You could see them all as they clung angrily to her. And you were now one of them, thanks to Jake.

But in a way, so was he. Maybe he had even been the first.

She never even felt it. But Jake did. You made sure of that. Like both a punishment and a gift, he felt the instantaneous explosion of pain you sent through her that evaporated her where she stood without even an ounce of exertion from your body.

He doubled over in the same instant, gasping out in pain as he desperately gripped onto Josh's pant leg. Danny and Adele looked on in horror as nothing but remnants of Rebecca in the form of dust now floated in their vision.

Josh had crouched low instantly to ensure his twin was alright, his face out of your life of sight, but Jake? Jake had his eyes on you. He wore a similar expression of horror at what you had done, even as he gasped through the pain he had felt from her and fought to control it. But his eyes never faltered on yours.

And as he wilted there in front of you, the image of you in his vision suddenly morphing into someone he hardly even recognized, your eyes never shied from his either. You had nothing left to hide from him.

“An irresponsible use of power,” was all you said before you turned to leave them all where they stood, stunned and silent, like they had never even known you. And the truth was, they hadn’t. Not the you that you now were.

You weren’t even certain Sam would follow. You weren't certain you deserved him after it all. Actually, you felt quite certain that you didn't.

But he never even hesitated.

—

You didn’t know it as Sam drove you away from the house that you wouldn’t see them all again for several decades. Sam would make the trip a few times over the years without you until things eventually smoothed over, but for now, you left them behind willingly in favor of a house standing tall on a cliffside overlooking the ocean.

The constant swell of seawater beating against rocky cliff below you created a peaceful backdrop for you and Sam to begin your new lives together. And there overlooking the angry ocean, hardly a soul existed to torment you, not that Sam couldn’t handle it.

“I bought half the beach so we wouldn't have to worry about people,” you heard him say from behind you as you looked out the wide pane of glass in your fishbowl porch that painted a view so breathtaking before you.

But you turned on your heels to take in the even more breathtaking view that stood behind you.

“And the ocean here is always terrifying. Should drown those voices out, when they come.”

“There are hardly any here,” you said quietly.

It was funny; now that the two of you found yourselves truly alone for the first time, Sam looked incredibly nervous and you felt as such.

The two of you weren't used to such quiet.

It would be an adjustment, quelling the remnants of your anger alongside the confusion your body still felt at being alive. It would take some getting used to, having now returned to a being that needed sleep to get through the day. You were still changing in ways you didn’t understand, too. And it didn’t help that you no longer knew what exactly you were or what exactly it was that your body needed, that it hungered for. You still found yourself stumbling with fatigue every now and then despite your gifts having returned to you. You even found yourself fighting fits of visions, none from this world but from a world beyond, that always seemed to have you doubling over and screaming out for Sam. But each time you stumbled, he caught you. Each time you called out his name, he found you. And each time you hungered, he was there to satiate you.

You hadn’t lived in the house together for long before a particularly hard day found you. You’d slept late while the sun shined high in the sky warding off a storm brewing several miles away. You'd been kept awake the night before by a barrage of terrors that Sam had begged you to let him quiet. And you finally had let him after several hours. He’d lulled you into a peaceful sleep and ensured you would remain that way until you were more rested. And when you woke, you woke to a house with every curtain drawn tightly shut so as not to wake you. But Sam was no longer beside you.

You padded quietly through the house to find him standing in the large fishbowl porch just off the front of the home, drinking some thick, red blood from a purple mug he must have gotten when he’d decided to attend university some several decades earlier. And his eyes scanned the horizon where the storm drew closer.

Sam had been opting for blood bags from a local hospital since the move. You felt bad knowing how much he loved the fresh stuff but he had insisted upon a quicker method of dining. He hated leaving you even for the hour it took to acquire the stuff. When you had a better handle on things, you'd encourage him to feed the way you knew he needed to. But for you, blood no longer seemed necessary. It seemed that now what your body wanted more than anything was sleep. You were constantly running on empty.

Only once had you felt energized, on a night that Sam had had to shut out the world around you as you sat huddled in bed, shaking in fear at the thing staring at you from the corner of the room. He'd taken your face in his hands and made it all disappear. And then for good measure, he'd given you a memory to hold onto, one of his older ones from back when he was human with Danny. A happy one before their lives had changed. And it had seemed to wake you, like a jolt of caffeine injected directly into your veins. Sam had done some research in the days that had followed and came to the conclusion that you fed off the very same thing as the souls around you did: the living. The two of you just hadn't yet figured out exactly how to harness it.

“I'm sorry, I hope you didn't feel like you had to be quiet for my sake,” you said softly as you crept up behind him with the lavender-colored linen duvet from your bed draped over your shoulders.

That was the other thing you couldn't get used to: the cold. You were still cold to the touch but now it ran deeper, like it permeated your bones. Sam hated it. He hated feeling like he was only chilling you further every time he touched you. But you didn't mind it. It just seemed like a good excuse to rarely leave his bed or to stay bundled up in his sweaters.

“No, no, it’s okay. It kills me to watch you struggle but I know you want to learn to manage these things on your own,” he said just as quietly as he brushed your hair over your shoulder and smiled warmly down at you. “Are we still alone?” he asked.

It had become his new “stay with me”, a quick and easy question he could ask to judge where your mind was at without overstepping your own determination. Heaven forbid something happen to him and you couldn't even get through the first night alone, not that you would even want to.

“Yes, we’re still alone,” you answered before you inhaled a deep breath and tucked yourself under his arm to take in the view of the dark storm rolling across a marvelous expanse of sky. “It’s just going to take me some time to get the hang of things. Feel more normal again.”

He turned his body to face yours, setting his mug down on a wicker table so his hands were free to take either side of your face between them gently. Your eyes fell shut at the feeling, a feeling that was indescribable now that your heart wasn’t caught between him and someone else.

“Take all the time you need,” he whispered softly. “We have plenty of it.”

You let the weight of your head rest completely in his hands, lolling it to one side as you felt his face draw nearer to yours at the behest of your fingers working to find friction in his shirt.

“Actually, I don't think I need time,” you corrected yourself in a light murmur, your eyes still rocked closed.

“No?” he questioned.

You shook your head gently and opened your eyes, though they found themselves instantly fixed to his lips and far too intrigued to move.

“No. Your hands make me feel more normal than anything else.”

Your mouth willed him forward, lips parted and face angled up toward his, waiting, ever so patiently.

It felt like an eternity before his lips finally brushed against yours, just barely meeting yours where they yearned for him so desperately. But when you felt him there, grazing gently along your skin in an almost timid manner, as though he were testing the waters, you closed what little distance there still was keeping you apart, connecting your mouths more fully in a delicate kiss.

It was different having his mouth pressed to yours now, different than anything you had felt in the past. Your soul was no longer being pulled in two different directions, fighting to just feel him. Now, it was only him there with you, no fight needed. It was clarity in a world that seemed to lack that very thing.

When your lips parted briefly, his eyes met yours, staring down at you warmly while his thumbs memorized the skin pulled across your cheeks.

“I wish my hands could forget the last thing they did to you.” He spoke quietly but you could see very plainly the hurt in his eyes as he relived the very thing his brother had run from.

You took his hands in yours, pressing them between your palms and squeezing them tightly.

“The last thing they did was make me feel more alive than I have ever felt,” you assured him.

When his lips met yours again, they were no longer timid. They moved against yours fervently, like they had something they wanted to show you. And they did.

You and Sam hadn't done much in the way of physicality since you'd left for the cliffside. He had insisted it could wait until you had a better handle on things. But as the weeks passed, your need for him had only grown to immeasurable heights and now, you no longer cared if you were mentally unstable or not. You'd find yourself in an even more dire situation if you didn’t have him. And soon.

Sam smiled against your lips as he read your mind. “You already have me; didn’t you know that?”

You smiled back as his hands grew needy against your body, feeling the skin and the lines and the curves he was convinced he'd never get enough of. Thank God you had an eternity to spend together. No limit of time would ever be enough to truly get your fill of him.

It felt like your bodies found one another in slow motion, amongst an almost silent backdrop that only held in the air the sound of waves far beneath you and the trickle of rain that had started from above you, neither of which could touch you in the safety of your home and the safety of his arms.

Your body sought his in any way it could while he walked you through the house, each room quieter and more still than the last, until you blindly reached bed. And you didn't mind the cold as you went. In fact, your hands searched for it, fervently, that smooth, cold skin that they'd barely even been allowed to touch save for a much more shameful moment against a tree in a forest and covered in blood. It wasn't like that now, though. There was no shame to be found as you stripped him of his clothes so quickly, you knew he'd find tears in the fabric when this was long over.

Sam's hands acted with that same sense of urgency and desperation, a cartographer eager to map the planes of your body and how they belonged to him. How they existed for him. His movements to undress you were like silent little promises, each and every one, whispers of the way he felt for you, demonstrations of the way he'd care for you.

You could have remained that way forever and never felt anything but happiness, with Sam in front of you, bared to you and you to him, and your body pressed into his until every crack was sealed and no inch of space went untouched by him.

His hands rested flat against your back, drawing down along your shoulder blades until they reached the dimples at your lower back and the swell of your ass. And then he dipped them even lower to grab at your thighs and part them for him, lifting you high up around his waist to fit snugly between your legs. Even with your eyes closed and your mouth still claiming his, you memorized his body against yours. It would be your new calming memory, your new sense of peace, the thing you used to ground yourself when the nights got difficult.

You barely even registered the sea of plush that hit your back as he used the mattress stopping you to bring his body even closer to yours, pressing into you hard and hungry all while he devoured you.

You begged him with your body and your mind alike to let you feel him inside of you, the last form of connection you'd ever need. But as his mind searched yours, wading through the messy waters there to listen the way he usually did, he pulled his lips away finally, along with his body, until he only stood between your legs, gazing down at you lying ready for him on the bed.

“Are we still alone?” he asked, reaching down to trace lines along your thigh where he could still reach.

You didn't even need to check the way you sometimes did, when you'd fearfully set your eyes to turn about the room, looking for shadows, listening for voices. You could tell just by the silence that engulfed you that he was the only one there with you.

You lifted yourself up onto your elbows and then onto your palms until your torso raised parallel to his where he stood just beside the bed. And you brought your lips to his skin, the expanse around his navel first to let your tongue taste the saltiness there. You heard him let out a gasp above you as your cold fingers found him next, wrapping around his length as your mouth traveled up and down and along his torso that seemed to heave beneath your touch.

Those droopy, doughy eyes watched you carefully as you savored him. You felt indescribably lucky to be touching him this way. Even just to have him this way.

“There's no one here but you and me,” you whispered against his skin.

The way it was meant to be.

He worked a hand into your hair to pull your face away, enough to angle your head back to gaze up at him. And with your mouth vacant once more, he leaned down to connect your lips again, this time taking himself in his hand and angling his hips just right so that he could slide easily between your legs and thrust himself inside of you.

You gasped against his mouth as he stilled himself there, giving you both a moment to truly feel one another as you became one in an instant.

His eyes fell shut the way yours did and your lips hovered close to one another's, both parted and breathing deeply to steady the sudden desperate ache that grabbed at you, begging you to move at light speed to continue what you'd started.

“I don't know how I got this lucky,” he shook his head almost in disbelief just before he worked both of his hands up into your hair to steady himself against you once more, enough to draw his hips back slowly and thrust them forward again, sinking himself deeper into you. You both moaned at the feeling, the sounds mingling together and dancing in the air until it was impossible to tell where one noise ended and the other began.

You could hear nothing but the waves and the rain and the sounds he made as he lifted you just off the bed to position himself better, coming down to hover over you as his hips couldn't help but work themselves up into a rhythm.

God, you needed him. You needed this every waking second for the rest of eternity. It was the way his hands gripped your skin to pull you closer, the way his moans started deep in his chest and muffled themselves against your mouth, the way he felt filling you up and nudging the deepest parts of you, all of him really that conjured up happy tears in your eyes and the vacancy in your lungs.

His hand moved to your chest, slender fingers splaying out flat against your body to push you backward against the mattress again, giving himself a better view as he sent another sharp thrust through his hips, driving himself deeper inside of you until you could practically feel him in your stomach. And he moved slowly to savor his every movement but his pelvis drove into you hard, each thrust sending you scooting halfway up the bed as decency fell away and only an urgent hunger for one another remained.

His name, it was the only thing you knew as your back arched off the bed and your fingers reached out to grab at his chest or his arms or his hair, whatever they could find to grip and keep you tethered to him.

“I love you, Sam. Fuck, I love you. I love you,” you gasped from underneath him as the feelings overflowed in your chest, culminating in a prayer to him.

Sam dipped his head back down with a gentle curse and brought his lips to the skin just below your breasts. And you waited to feel fangs sink into your skin there. You waited for that piercing pleasure to send hot, sharp pain through your body. But it never came. Only his lips and tongue graced you, peppering you with lazy, sloppy kisses while his hips never even faltered.

“I have loved you for so long,” he answered between kisses and drags of his tongue against your icy skin. “And I'll love you to the end.”

You took his position as an opportunity to weave your hands into his long hair, letting them tangle themselves and pull as they pleased as your body sought his up and off the bed.

“And after or I'll haunt you, Samuel. Wherever you are in the afterlife, I'll find you-oh fuck!” A sharp gasp cut through your words as he nudged that beautiful spot inside of you.

He brought his face level with yours, showing off the smile that had spread on his lips.

“And after,” he promised with a nod, just before his brows furrowed and his mouth dropped open at the feeling of you squeezing tighter around him.

It was like its own little source of pleasure, knowing you could cause a reaction like that in him. It sparked something a bit more animalistic inside of you, prompting you to pull him down roughly and roll him over onto his back so you could begin to ride him at a much faster pace. But he quickly lifted his body up to meet yours, wrapping a strong arm around the small of your back to help guide your rhythm.

“Fuck,” he grunted, his face taking on a determined look as his hands worked with your hips to spur your movements on. Just a little harder, just a little faster.

You moaned out a loud sound as you wrapped your arm around his shoulders and dropped your forehead down onto him. Each raise and lowering of your hips brought him closer, brought you closer.

His hands worked hard to spread across every inch of your skin as your hips rolled against him, taking him as deeply as you could.

“I-I swear you saved me,” he stuttered out against the feeling, against your skin. “When we met, I was giving up.”

You squeezed your eyes shut at his words, moving faster and truthfully, feeling nothing but him and the blinding bliss his body created.

“Shit-” His words threatened to fail him as expletives began to drip from your own mouth like a chant now. But he seemed so determined to make you understand just exactly how he felt, as if you couldn’t feel it in the way his body clung to yours or in the way his eyes drooped just a little more with the heavy weight of his love for you.

“Everything inside of me burns with desire for you,” he grunted as he gripped your waist tighter and bounced you harder on his length.

“Oh fuck, Sam-” you choked out.

“I swear,” he breathed out, enraptured in your bliss almost more than his own, “you’ve made me better.”

It was his words that did it in the end, sending you crashing over the edge with his name burned into your throat as your walls clenched hard around him. And he followed not long after, spilling deep inside of you and clutching your body as close to his as he could manage.

The aftermath you had left took the shape of bed linens strewn across the floor along with clothing that may or may not have been wearable again in its current state. And in bed, your bodies entangled that same way, haphazard and draped wherever they had left off with one another. But even so, his lips strolled along your skin lazily, whatever he could reach as you fell back onto the mattress like he was reluctant to let the moment end.

You knew what he was doing. He was committing this very moment to memory, trying not to lose even a single detail.

“A new favorite.” It wasn’t so much a question but he nodded in confirmation.

“A new favorite.”

You couldn't help the smile that spread across your lips.

He seemed to be settling into the bed, likely to help you sleep, but you hardly felt tired. Actually, you'd never felt more alive than you did in that moment. So wearing only a mischievous smirk, you slipped off the mattress as he eyed you and your form carefully.

You waltzed across the room to his side of the bed as the confusion grew on his face. And when you stood next to him and took his hand gently in yours, you gave him a grin.

“I'll race you,” you teased just before you flew out the door behind you.

You could hear him yelling from behind you as you went.

“Where are you going? You're indecent!”

“Come find me beneath the water!” you yelled back, pushing through every door in your way until your feet had found solid ground.

Then you flung your body over the cliff's edge.

And when your body hit the water and began to sink into it like a rock, welcoming the vast darkness that existed below the bellowing surface, you again found yourself unable to contain the smile that formed at your lips when you felt the splash of him meeting you there.

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frost-felon · 3 months

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The timeskips issue has never been a recent one. The pitfalls of the numerous timeskips in the beginning of the story (Yuji being enrolled in JJH and picking up Nobara in June -> July's suicide mission + meeting the upperclassmen & Kyoto Kids -> August seemingly being skipped outright -> Junpei Arc in September¹, and pretty much everything before Shibuya needing to happen in September or October) have affected the character and relationship growth since the get-go.

I love the tenderness and consoling conviction from Yuji in this scene, but at this point, he's only known Nanami for a few days, and been 'dead' for somewhere between a month and a month and a week or two. So he'd really only known Megumi for like, a month, tops. He'd known Nobara for maybe a couple of weeks. It's unclear how long he'd known Ijichi for, but on-and-off through July, probably...most of these times are guesses, and due to the timeskips, I can't be sure how well or how little Yuji got to known all of these people during the times he could have. Gojo, his longest relationship out of the five he was thinking of, tends to get infrequent and small references to what he did or didn't teach Yuji at various times. There's another moment shortly before this page where Yuji thinks back to a scene we never saw², wherein Gojo apparently taught Yuji how to fight Shikigami users ("When fighting Shikigami Users...go for the User themselves.") But ultimately, the audience hasn't been able to spend more than a few moments' times to get an understanding of Yuji's attachments and his faith in the people he relies on. Nanami gets the most here (Junpei Arc, Chapter 26) since this was the arc he was introduced in, and has been closely mentoring Yuji, but as mentioned, this entire arc takes place in a small timeframe. As a result, the believability of these relationships can easily be called into question, and this scene didn't hit me as hard as it should have.

Culling Games has a similar issue with believability in character dynamics and pacing, largely caused by the frequent timeskips forcing arcs immediately after Shibuya to cram as much as they can into short timeframes. Junpei Arc can get away with this more due to its early placement in the story, but the cracks had been visible well into this arc and even beforehand.

In a very twisted way, the post-unsealing timeskip, from mid-November (somewhere around/after November 16th; EDIT, it's November 19th³) to December 24th, is not particularly unique, though it is one of the largest timeskips (that I can positively identify through information in the manga's pages), possibly only behind the mid-July (?) to September skip. I've mentioned it before, though, that JJK simply could not handle another timeskip of a similar magnitude (or one exceeding, perhaps, a week). This mainly comes down to the bloating of the cast and status quo changes in the Perfect Preparation Arc, the Culling Games Arc, and the aftermath of 212 through 221.

I really wish I could have appreciated his scene more, since it's lovely and well-executed in-of-itself. But since it relies on the preceding groundwork, the shaky foundation undermines an otherwise knockout scene.

¹I am here in my reread, so I'm a little fuzzy on any timeskips after this point.

²Using flashbacks to show the audience new scenes can be effective, but this method gets overused in JJK to fill in gaps caused by not devoting enough time to character-building and cast downtime.

³GUESS WHO FORGOT ABOUT TWO DIFFERENT PANELS IN 221 EXPLICITLY CLARIFYING THE DATE? Blegh, I'll have to be more careful when I eventually fully reread--I have only gone through most 146+ chapters once. Anyways, the panels:

This also means that the full extent of the timeskip ran between 34 and 35 days, depending on if you're counting December 24th or not (this is not counting November 19th itself).

#Jujutsu Kaisen #JJK #Junpei Arc #Spoilers #Jujutsu Kaisen Spoilers #JJK Spoilers #JJK Manga Spoilers #No character tags this time. No salt or criticism towards any characters.#Junpei Arc Spoilers #Analysis #JJK Analysis #Writing #< Since this is an examination of a writing tactic weakening the story.#Meta #JJK Meta #Long Posts #Longposts

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meimi-haneoka · 5 months

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First of all, thanks for making all these translation posts. They really helped in clearing up the confusions the official translation produced. How they managed to pass through editing is beyond me.

However, forgive me for asking this kind of a negative (?) question here, because I know you're such a staunch fan: What would you consider as legitimate criticism of Clear Card? I'm not asking for those that are also present in the OG series (such as CLAMP dragging the mystery for various reasons), I mean those that are only specific to this arc. Because when I reread the entire arc in preparation for the final chapter a few days ago, I noted some missed opportunities and details that never had quite a payoff in the end, but I'm currently debating if I should really analyze why I felt that way or I'm just being nitpicky. (And for the record, I don't have much nostalgia goggles for this series. I only started following this three years ago.)

Hello anon! Thank you for reading my translation posts and I'm glad they were useful to you!

Hmmm I think we should always consider and try to understand if the complaint we have is something that affects the plot to a greater extent or if it's just a wish we have, to have seen more of something, but that in the end -doesn't- really change things on a structural level. Like, I dunno, the kiss everyone is complaining about 🙄🙄🙄 And even when we find some, we might need to think hard if they *really* didn't give an explanation (even an implied one). Also it's good to keep in mind that what we might not have liked, maybe was the favorite thing of somebody else, so we shouldn't label it as a "flaw" in absolutistic terms. Just always keep it on the personal, subjective view.

I'll make you an example of what I think it's a missed opportunity that reflects on the plot, in some way.

The cause of death of Lilie (and her husband, at the same time).

Even for this, I have a hunch or two about why they didn't talk about it (my theory is that the cause was a violent one, and they were betrayed by the Association just like little Kaito had been warning her during chapter 60 - maybe they tried to abduct Akiho, thinking she would be super powerful), I've had this theory since long time and honestly now that they ended the arc without explaining it, I can't help but feel that I was right and that mentioning it would've crossed CCS boundaries.

I see many people complaining "why Nadeshiko died, we never got that explored" but I mean, they told us about it, they gave us a reason? Why no one wants to believe that she simply died of illness? Why does it have to be a magical reason?

For Lilie, however, we only know that she died while protecting her daughter in an "accident" (see, my theory?), at least if we have to trust what the Clan told Akiho. I would've liked to know the reason, just a little bit more of it, because honestly....there are people who wonder why she decided to do all that she did in order to help fixing things in the future that would come many years later, instead of just focusing on staying alive and not leave her daughter alone, unprotected, at the mercy of her horrible family? Since she's a yumemi and could foresee her death? Because we could say that if Akiho ended up being abused in her childhood, it's also because she was completely left on her own. Couldn't she avoid death? That would make sense, so she decided to take care of "damage control" instead, meeting her daughter's future soulmate, the one who would give his life to protect Akiho and bring her out of there? And meet Sakura when she was only 13? But I would've at least liked a mention of that because, if we have to be nitpicky about it, this reflects negatively on Lilie's character. And I'm absolutely sure that she's a decent character and was a wonderful mother in the months she could live with her daughter. I don't think she did all that she did recklessly. But you see, I have to make up theories in my head to fill that gap, I would've liked a helping hand from canon, in that sense.

This is different from another comment I often see "couldn't Kaito just *ask Sakura* for help?" because no, even if they didn't spell out with words why Kaito didn't ask for help, they gave us plenty of hints and portrayals of his personality, which make completely reasonable the way he went about it.

For Lilie, we really have little to go by, in the end.

This is just an example, there are other things that I go a little bit 😐at, but all in all they're little things that might be slightly annoying at worst, not stuff that would impact my love for this series. Hence why you see me so staunch about it. 😊

#reply #clear card arc #ccsakura #anonymous

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violent--delights--violent--ends · 10 months

Text

PERSUASION | Hero FT Fan Fic

Chapter 1

WC : 630

SONG: brutal - Oliva Rodrigo

HERO POV

Are you on your way yet?

Would you chill? I need to go to the bathroom

Well, hurry up. I'm on my way back in five minutes to get her, and I can only stall for so long, dude.

I sigh, looking up for a brief moment to ensure my path is still evident as I continue to type.

Are you sure this is going to work?

Yes, now stop wasting time! Move your ass

I roll my eyes as I turn into the opening of the restroom but not before hearing.

"It was a joke, mom chill," a female voice says

"I can't believe you! This is just uncalled for!" I hear the voice from the receiving end say before heading into the restroom. My phone dings again, which I choose to ignore.

Fucking chill already, geez! I know I said I wanted this.. No scratch that I need this, but do I?

Exiting the restroom, I hear what sounds like crying; It's light and muffled.

I look over in that direction, and I see a girl. She's about average height, with long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. She has it moved, so it flows over the front of her right shoulder. Tears are running down her cheeks, and her hand is over her mouth. I'm guessing in an attempt to silence her weeping.

I feel my phone vibrate again as I pull it from my pocket. Three more messages, I roll my eyes yet again, turning it off.

She can wait a little longer..I hope I sigh as I close the gap between us, making my way into the hallway.

I've never been good at comforting girls when they're like this. I'm always afraid I might say something stupid, even more so since this girl happens to be in a wheelchair. I don't want to make her even more uncomfortable. However, something tells me she needs a friend right now.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah....I'm...fine," she forces out, which she isn't.

"Are you sure?" I ask again.

"Look! I said I was..." She looks up at me, her eyes still filled with tears, but they are the most stunning shade of olive green I have ever seen.

She blinks a couple of times, wiping her cheeks as she realizes who she's talking to, and drops her phone.

"You're...You're..." is all she can seem to get out.

"Guilty as charged," I smile, and my reaction automatically makes her smile back. I have to admit her smile is pretty cute! She has dimples, like me, when she smiles.

"Omg, this is so embarrassing! I am so sorry," she says, covering her face, with her hands.

"No worries, we all have bad days," I say, picking her phone up. The movement makes it light up, and I see her lock screen. It's a picture of me with Diesel.

"Nice lock screen; that's one of my favorite shots too!" I say, continuing to smile. As I hand it to her, she blushes, says thanks, then pauses; it's clear she wants to ask me for a picture.

"Would you like a picture?" I ask her.

"Really?! Is it not too much? I'm sure you have places to be," she says.

"Not at all." I bend down, putting my arm around her shoulders. We both smile, and I snap the picture.

"Thank you so much, Hero," she says happily. "This turned my day around."

"You're welcome! Well, I better get back; I don't want a search party." I joke before adding, "it was nice meeting you..."

"Jessica," she replies.

"Jessica," I repeat.

I turn my phone back on as I push the door open while I reply

On my way, we need to talk.

#afternators #herofiennestiffin #hero fiennes tiffin #heroft #team hero ft #hardin scott #after #wattpadstories #wattpad #olivia rodrigo

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fragileizywriting · 6 months

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okay whatever. i need to get the itch out and i'm not sure if i'll have enough patience to open up a document and start writing, so i'll make it into a minific for now so that way i can steal this in a few months time and we can allll pretendddd that we didn't see the tl;dr version of the chapter on tumblr a whole two moons ago

"How are you doing?" Luka asks, hands never leaving Adrien's polo.

They're talking about the same thing. He knows it. Luka has that look in his eye that carries in the way his shaved brow raises at the lack of a response, thumb rubbing at the Miraculous hidden as a little tiny broach on the collar. He's the only person that Adrien can feel comfortable touching the area; at least, it's surprisingly calming, not harrowing, to have him touch and whisper in the hallway that leads to the guest bathroom while everyone else in the apartment is getting the place ready for Marinette's birthday.

Adrien can feel his shoulders dropping by the second.

"Could be doing better."

"Lady Noire didn't handle it?"

"She did." He licks his lips. "A little bit too much."

Luka says nothing, though his eyes are glittering with questions. Instead, he pivots to something more blasé, something that wouldn't alarm anyone should they come across the conversation. "Did you need any help last night?"

Luka is Viperion. He's been Viperion for probably along the same time that he's been Mister Bug but he's on reserve. They use him sparringly, knowing the consequence of Hawkmoth finding out; he's hidden in the shadows, always there for the both of them to approach should they have any trouble. He's a secret. Paris's best-kept one, other than Mister Bug and Lady Noire's identities.

"No," Adrien chirps, surprising them both. "It was a little rough, sure, but it was... doable."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't even know what to say about it," he admits. "It was just... that Akuma was pretty worrisome."

"I'd heard that the Agreste Mansion got leveled flat."

"You know? That wasn't the Akumas fault," Adrien puts lightly. "Well, it was, but that place actually getting destroyed wasn't his fault. The sentimonster, too, that thing has no blame. Kitty... uh, Lady Noire's been tense this whole week; I have no idea why, but she'd..." Luka knows better than to fill in the gap of his words, just letting Adrien talk. "She looked terrified yesterday. Like something was starting to spill out of her. That poor Akuma got the absolute brunt of it."

And the house.

Marinette comes out of nowhere, just in time for Adrien to snap his mouth shut. "What's going on there?"

"Nothing," Luka replies, swift and dead and his expression morphs into one reminicent of a man who likes to rile someone up. Expressive blue eyes turn almost teasing in her direction when Marinette comes closer to see Luka still petting at Adrien's neck. Her face is starting to scrunch. Adrien finds that nose crinkle endearing. "Can't two men talk in a hallway in hushed voices in peace?"

"You can, but what are you doing to Adrien? Why are you touching him?" she asks, pressing in, because Marinette has a habit of touching and touching and touching until someone breaks.

"Oh, that. Don't worry, we were just making out a bit. His lips are really soft, Mari, you really should give it a try one day." A beat passes, because Marinette doesn't believe him, face not making a single effort to change shape, and Luka's smile goes nearly feral. "Hey, miss Birthday Girl, Adrien and I are smooching and you're intruding. Either scram or wait your turn. Oh, wait... you're not being homophobic, are you?"

If she believes this, Adrien has no chance in proving that he actually has the word's most ridiculous crush on her.

Marinette makes a noise, taking the bait, because Adrien is pretty positive that whenever Marinette sees Luka in particular, she sees red. Genuine aggression pools off of her in waves, different than that joking manner she'd been with Felix. Here, she looks like she'd kick him out at the earliest convenience, and Adrien has to wonder, why is he here in the first place if Marinette doesn't like him at all?

"As if!" she squeaks out. "You're such a liar! You're not kissing!"

"No?"

"No!"

"Want me to prove it?" There's a thumb on Adrien's mouth. "I know just how to kiss lips this soft."

Huh. Okay. He'll pack this away for later, but Adrien has the inexplicable, impulsive urge to find out what it's like to kiss someone with snake bites. Thank god it's not fed into by having the Cat Miraculous; if Lady Noire were here, she'd probably jump at the opportunity without a single thought.

Marinette growls. "I know you don't like blondes."

"That's not true."

"It is true." She's poking him on the bicep. Luka looks noncommital to the act. He even goes so far as to drag a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes. "You tried flirting with Felix and stopped when he dyed his hair."

"He has a daughter!"

"Didn't stop you when he got married to my auntie," she accuses. "Whatever, anyway, you don't even like Mister Bug."

"I've told you I like Lady Noire more."

"Who doesn't like Mister Bug?" she continues, completely unaware that Adrien is breathing wrong. "He's the hottest man ever."

"Sure." Luka manages to sneak in a wink to Adrien when Marinette starts to spin on her kitten heels, raving about how Mister Bug's abs are perfect for laundry. A broad shoulder leans against the wall, something fond on his face as he regards Marinette, pulling away from Adrien. "But I don't know. Something about Lady Noire is just more appealing to me. I've had a crush on her since I was fourteen, that's not something I can just stop, you know?"

Marinette stops moving. "What?"

"What?" Luka parrots, clearly teasing.

"Wait, really?" Adrien finds himself replying as well.

Glass-like eyes slide back in his direction. Is he joking or not? It's hard to read Luka when he's like this. It doesn't help that Adrien doesn't know him as much as he should. "I think Lady Noire is cute. She's a spitfire. And very much an adult, now."

"You— you like Lady Noire?" she wheezes. "You're not pulling on my leg?"

"Why would I lie?"

"So you weren't kissing Adrien."

"You're well aware that bisexuality exists."

Her eyes are thinning into slits, reminicent of Lady Noire's claws. "You—"

Luka cuts her off with a quacking motion of his hand. "What's wrong with liking her while kissing another guy? Also, 'like' is an understatement. I'm in absolute love with her and it's miserable. It's loserish how much I like her. She's just so cute. That woman is someone I'd willingly get a concussion for. Have you seen her? Looked at her?"

"Not recently, no!"

"God," Luka groans, going back to crossing his arms. Well-made muscle peaks from that short sleeved shirt of his, making the snake tattoos on his arms look massive. "She's gorgeous. If she knew how much of a crush I've had on her since I was a teenager, I'm pretty sure she'd chew me out. That woman is just... wow. You know?"

Marinette looks confused. "But... but you..."

"I agree—" Adrien almost inhales his tongue when she looks his way and looks slapped. "I mean— about the— about the wow part. Lady Noire is just... wow. Seriously. She's made out of water, but moves like light, and the combination is so amazing."

If Kitty ever found out that Mister Bug was talking about her so... strangely, she'd have an aneurysm.

"She's hot." Luka tacks on, like a garnish. Adrien has the proper sense to wish to bonk his head into the wall, but there are too many picture frames of a happy family to do that. He'd break glass. Maybe it's worth it? "That mouth of hers is kissable. And other things."

"It's the fangs," Adrien blurts out. "The— the— kissing. Very nice."

She leaves when her mother calls to her, looking over her shoulder as if she's waiting for Luka to give up the bit. He never does.

#speakizys #sharks and sugar

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dashawfrostart · 4 months

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This Week In "Time & Again" #8: Achievement (Almost) Unlocked! And A Pre-New Year's Mess

Does it ever happen to you that you're so energetic, and hyper, and full of determination and all - and then you take a deep breath, sit down happily on your comfy couch, and you're ready to start writing a new and lovely blog post!.. ... but then you realize you have absolutely nothing to write about. Or - perhaps, to be more precise - you feel like there's nothing worth mentioning that would make an interesting, succulent, and informative post.

That happens to me once in a while - which is odd, considering how much of a babbler I tend to be when it comes down to self-expression in written form (it must be, Lothar affects me in a certain way and alters my usual behaviour, because normally in my life outside any artistic activities I am fairly quiet).

The aforementioned little hiccup on my way of the "ultra-completionist of the Pre-2024 To-Do List", unfortunately, hindered my progress, and the final number of the blog posts ended up a tad smaller. I don't think there are any complaints from the readers though 😎 I'll try to keep up next year. On a side note, one of the goals on the list has been removed and deliberately postponed until January. I have reasons, trust me 😁

But most importantly, Christmas season of "Time & Again" turned out to be pretty good! Just as planned, at this point of time, just a couple days short of 2024 (because I started writing this post yesterday), The Lineart is 98% done - it only needs a sparkle of perfection and and a short session of filling up the gaps and missing spots here and there on different pages. AND DONE. Moving on to The Colouring Stage right after all of that has been properly handled. (oops, unintentionally, I lied: I already started to partially colour some peculiar things... too excited; can't hold back, LOL!) I would say, this is truly a great achievement. Well... almost got an achievement anyway. Working on your grand project every day, little by little, and watching it growing, evolving, and getting fleshed out a little more day by day is hard to describe in a verbal form. I wonder about this sometimes... Perhaps, those who have never been in a similar situation will not understand this emotion very easily. But I'm telling you with 100% honesty, as usual - this emotion is priceless and really makes you feel that you're doing something important in life.

So, in short, everything goes steadily and as planned. Plans change sometimes - but that is totally fine. Currently, everything is indeed as planned - and I can't help but rejoice 🥳

As a treat for reading yet another one of my excessively talky talky longreads, I'll tease you with some rather unpredictable snippets now ;)

Just who are those guys???.. And what's the situation??? They sure look feral! You will definitely find answers to all of these questions after Chapter 5 is released sometime in 2024 ;)

... In the meantime, as I've been working on a peculiar troublesome background, I have discovered a handy option in Krita's Assistant Tool that I believe has a possibility to make my life easier in the future. I used Assistant Tool before, and quite profusely. But thanks to a certain video I came across, I happened to find out that there's more to that incredible tool. I'm excited to cover this topic in the next blog post, so stay tuned!

I also made a horrible mess on one of the pages that currently looks this way:

How do you like the funny lettering???!!! 😁 Those are not stickers, by the way (although that's certainly a good idea to turn those into stickers!.. That'd be a story for another day tho). Why those are needed - that I'll keep a secret for now. But I wanted to show you what they look like - especially when cluttered altogether, hehe. Also, obviously, this is not the final version of each one of those sound effects bubbles. There's more work to do eventually 😉

For now... let there be silence. In a bit over 24 hours, the calendar will show 2024 on this side of the globe. So I'll stop typing right now and I'll save more stories for later. ... I'm also wrapping it up for today with my ridiculous habit to scatter vaguely related song references across the text, so, yup - time for a small break 😅 (And I should also take a break from listening to Ultravox on repeat, otherwise my non-existent vinyls are gonna get non-existent holes in them... wait... how does that work exactly, again?..)

So, for a bye-bye, I'll say show this:

Bah-bye, my friends! And see you next year! 👋🥳😁

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #This Week In Time And Again #krita #wips #graphic novel

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onlyyyariii · 2 years

Text

My Alpha

Starts off Liana’s point of view and switches mid chapter to Ethan’s. There will be a gap and a bold line notifying the switch.

Forgot to mention! Mira’s name is pronounced Me-duh :)

Let’s get this show on the road!

*******

"I'd like to leave now." I say, standing up.

"Alright I understand that. Many people are overwhelmed with the responsibilities that come with being a Luna." Mira replies quickly.

It's not the Luna thing. She basically just told me I was already being hunted. And I have a possibility of dying.

"The sun is down. You may want to call your Alpha, he may be worried."

"I think I'll be fine."

I leave the cottage quickly. Walking in the cool air of the night is calming my mind. Breathing deeply I can smell the trees once more. Oak, maple, pine. Another scent fills my mind before I can process what it is.

"Hey."

I give him a small smile, "Hi Grayson."

"You have a keen sense of smell. Has it always been like that?"

"Yes. I like smells. I could distinguish quite a few very quickly."

"Ethan's looking for you."

I suck in a deep breath. I knew he would send Grayson to find me.

"I'm on my way back now. Would you want to walk me there?"

"Of course."

We walk into the house laughing our asses off. Grayson is telling me about the first time he phased into his wolf and when he phased back into his human form he was naked and in front of his parents. He was 14.

"You seem to be having fun."

I look towards Ethan still giggling. Once he spoke Grayson had stopped laughing immediately. He bows his head toward Ethan muttering a greeting to the alpha. Ethan glares at him before growling slightly. Gray meets his eyes quickly, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Ethan I-I wou-would n-never." Grayson stuttered, staring into Ethan's eyes.

Am I the only one who has no idea what's going on?

"Get out." Ethan growls again.

My eyes widen as I look between the two. What the heck is going on?

"Ethan he-"

"Shut up. Grayson I said get out!"

"Of course Alpha."

Grayson walks out looking like a kicked puppy. I wanted to hug him goodbye but I wasn't sure that was such a good idea at the time. I push past Ethan and walk upstairs.

"Liana get down here."

"No! You just threw Grayson out for no reason! I thought you guys were friends."

"You don't know the vile things he was feeling towards you."

I throw open the bedroom door and walk in, dropping my jacket by the bed.

"Ethan," I say, sighing deeply, "I'm your mate. I chose to stay for you. You're making me rethink my decision."

"You can't honestly believe you're going to run this relationship. I'm the Alpha. You're supposed to bow to me!" He yelled in my face.

Mira didn't tell me how to calm an alpha. I wasn't going to be treated like this though. His voice turned hard and cold. He was using his Alpha voice on me.

"Don't use your alpha voice on me. I'm not one of your puppies, so don't you dare treat me like one."

His face softens, "Liana I'm sorry I-"

"Get out Ethan. I don't want to look at you right now."

I yank off my boots and throw them into the closet. A shower would really help me right now.

Ethan's POV:

I close the door behind me as I walk out of the room. I used my alpha voice on her. My wolf sensed that she was trying to assert her dominance and I couldn't let her. The Luna is not superior to the Alpha. Speaking of her being MY Luna, I need to talk to Grayson. He smelt like curiosity and arousal. She's my mate, not his. He needed to be put in his place. I make my way to his house about a half mile away from mine. He opens the door before I get there.

"Hey E."

"We need to talk Gray."

"I don't have a crush on your mate E. It was a misunderstanding."

"It better have been because if it happens again I will not only growl at you, but I will rip you apart limb by limb."

"Ethan stop being ridiculous. You met this girl yesterday."

"She's the love of my life. You hear that? MY life not yours. She's MY mate. You may not think that what you're doing is wrong, but I can assure you if you get any closer to my Luna there will be consequences."

"Yes Alpha."

I hated using my alpha voice on anyone, especially my best friend. But Liana is my mate. She doesn't need Grayson confusing her.

"Now that that's cleared up. I'd like you to stay away from her for a while."

"Ethan you know I can't do that! She's my friend and-"

"You will stay away from her." I dropped my voice and stared at him with a hard glare.

"Of course Alpha." He sneered baring his teeth.

"I expect to fight you at training tomorrow. You can get out any anger you may have towards me there."

"Trust me, I will."

I glare at him once more before leaving back towards the house. I had noticed I was only gone for about 15 minutes. When I opened the door, the smell of vanilla and maple was strong. Also the scent of loneliness. I open my bedroom door to see Liana lying on the bed facing the window.

"You're sleeping downstairs right?" She asks without turning around.

"How did you-"

"Doesn't matter. Are you or aren't you?"

"I am."

"Then get your stuff, and get out."

She was still upset with me. I could sense her anger but also her guilt. She wanted me to lay with her but she's too upset with me to admit it.

"Of course."

I grabbed a blanket and a few pillows out of my closet before walking over to her. I leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Goodnight Li."

I made my way out and situated myself on the couch. This is going to be the longest month of my life.

*******

#grayson dolan #dolan twins #ari’s fic recs #oc #ethan dolan #lianamariesummers #madisonrosemorrison #ari’s masterlist #ari

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bucksfucks · 3 years

Text

amorosa // steve rogers

chapter three: midnight

chapter one // chapter two // chapter three

chapter four // chapter five

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

main masterlist

summary || you wake up alone, a single note in the kitchen detailing where steve has gone. a few hours later you’re in his lavish office where he hands you a contract telling you to look over it before he takes you out to dinner. what you don’t realize is that dinner soon turns to something a little more risqué.

pairing || sugar daddy!steve x reader

word count || 2,908 words

warnings || financial struggles, sugar daddy dynamics, undefined age gap, public washroom sex, unprotected sex, heavy daddy kink, mocking, degradation, name calling, orgasm denial, blowjobs, praise kink, dirty talk — 18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI

When you awoke the next morning you found yourself alone in your bed. The sheets were cold, though his side still smelt like Steve. You groaned as you stretched your arms above your head and your legs as far down as you could.

You were sore.

Sore in the best possible way as butterflies flocked to your belly as you thought about how Steve was perfectly situated between your thighs or the way his cock filled you full.

You finally got the strength to get out of bed, legs slightly shaky as you grabbed your phone only to find it dead. It was plugged in and forgotten soon after as you started on a pot of coffee.

Your eyes caught sight of a note neatly placed on your small kitchen table, coming closer to inspect the neat writing over it.

Had to run to work, last night was everything and more. Give me a call when you see this. xx

Steve (678-136-7092)

You smiled, as old-fashioned as a note might be, it made you feel warm inside as you impatiently waited for your phone to charge. It was only ten in the morning, you were sure he could wait just a little longer.

Your peace was soon disturbed by loud, incessant knocking at your front door that startled you, making you jump. You barely had time to set the piece of paper down before an envelope slipped under your door.

Grabbing it and quickly tearing it open you couldn't believe your eyes.

An eviction notice?

You groaned, rolling your eyes in disbelief as you shot daggers at your front door where your landlord was surely standing not even minutes ago. Still, you shook your head, tossing the notice onto your table before grabbing Steve's note and hoping your phone had enough juice to turn on.

Your day seemed to be turning up as it flashed on, a small victory as you quickly punched in Steve's number, turning speakerphone on as you tapped your foot waiting for him to pick up.

"Was startin' to think I scared you off after last night," Steve chuckled as he picked up the phone on the third ring. You playfully rolled your eyes, falling back against your bed.

"Scared me off? If anything you'll have trouble getting rid of me." You chid back as you heard Steve laugh followed by a click, probably an office door closing.

"Princess I won't be gettin' rid of you anytime soon." He said earnestly as you bit your lip trying to conceal your smile. You felt giddy, like a high schooler talking to their crush late on a Friday night.

"Do you think you can come down to my office this afternoon? I think we should discuss some rules." He said seriously, a twinge of professionalism coming through as your stomach flipped with nerves.

"Uhm yeah, sure, does one o'clock work?" You asked, sitting up to take a look at the time on the wall clock mounted right across from your bed.

"That's great, I'll send over a town car. See you soon, Princess." Steve said and you could hear the smirk in his voice as you stood up, feeling more confident in yourself.

"I'll see you later, Daddy." You nearly purred as he groaned lowly on the other end of the line, "oh I can't wait." And with that you were getting ready for your day.

Stark Towers was an impressive, daunting looking building as you stepped out of the town car Steve had sent over. The driver told you to just go to the front desk, tell them your name, and the rest would be taken care of.

You did just that, the petite woman behind the desk giving you a warm smile as she led you through a set of doors where you both got into a polished elevator. She hit the number 92 on the panel before you began your swift ascent.

The doors opened to white marble tiling, dark blue accents, and crystal clean statutes as she led you to a large set of where the name Steve Rogers, VP read in neat writing. She knocked twice before the doors were opened.

Steve had a hard look on his face that softened immediately as he caught sight of you.

"Thank you Belinda, can you prepare an all access card for her please?" He asked as she nodded her head, disappearing back into the elevator as Steve led you inside of his office.

He embraced you, wrapping his arms around your waist and placed a sweet kiss to your lips.

"I haven't stopped thinking of you," he mumbled, smiling as you played with the short hairs at the nape of his neck. He hummed, feeling the vibrations against your own chest as he leaned his forehead against yours.

"But as much as I'd love to take you right here, over my desk and in front of the windows, we have to set some rules." You couldn't help but whimper at his words, your arousal growing as he took a step away.

"Sit," it was a gentle command, and you did as you were told, taking a seat in one of the two plush chairs that were positioned right in front of his large oak desk. He leaned against the front of the desk, crossing his arms over his chest as he licked his bottom lip.

"I'm a man of business as you know, so," he grabbed something behind him, "there is a short contract."

You narrowed your eyes at the paper, extending your arm wordlessly as he gave it over to you. You skimmed over the first few paragraphs, noting how there were four pages total before you glanced at where he had already placed his signature.

"You signed already?" You asked, a little puzzled as he chuckled, "this is something I'm confident in." Steve shrugged, pushing himself off the desk and placing both of his hands on either side of your chair.

"Take your time, I don't need an answer right away." He says sweetly, his body towering over yours and the only thing you can think of is how much bigger he felt as he was on top of you last night.

You nodded your head slowly, swallowing thickly as he straightened his posture. He was so tall and broad and you had to stop thinking of him like that. At least for right now.

"I'll take a look at it tonight," you replied as he smiled, "good girl."

The praise sent another shiver down your spine as you watched him lick his bottom lip, he knew what he was doing to you, was this a test?

"Let's have dinner tomorrow, same time, different place? You can ask any questions you have pertaining to the contract, how's that sound?" You nodded your head again as Steve spoke.

"That sounds good." You told him with a smile as he extended his hand for you to take, he helped you up before his arms were around your waist again, lips against yours before his hands travelled down to your ass.

"Good girl, maybe this time you can skip the panties?" He purrs against your neck, his lips already nipping at your exposed collarbones as you feel him stiffen against your hip. You gasp, nodding your head, "o-okay."

"Okay who?" Steve eggs, "o-okay, Daddy," you whisper, biting your lip as he slowly rocks your hips against his.

You're just able to get your hand on the outline of his cock as his intercom buzzes, "Mr. Rogers, your one-thirty is here, should I send him in?" A woman's voice interrupts the two of you as Steve groans, rolling his eyes.

He hits a button on his desk harshly, "give me five minutes."

You reluctantly step away from him, taking in the bulge in his pants, wet lips, and slightly mused hair.

"I'm sorry Princess, Daddy's gotta work," he winked, readjusting himself as you gave him a small pout. He cooed at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "don't pout, if you're good maybe you'll get a surprise or two tonight." Steve promises as your eyes light up at his words.

"Now be a good girl, okay?" He says, giving your bum a pinch as he leads your out of his office, pressing the button on his elevator.

"Stop at the front desk on your way out and pick up your access key, okay? And text me when you get home, the car's out front for you." Steve says as you nod, clutching the contract tightly in your hands.

He presses a chaste kiss to your cheek before the elevator doors close leaving you alone to your thoughts.

You sat in your dimly illuminated kitchen, Netflix playing softly in the background as a cooling cup of tea was at your side. The contract was in front of you as you tapped your pen against it.

Clause 1.0: You will attend all events asked by Steve Rogers assuming he gives you enough time in advance.

That seemed fair, not like you were about to turn down anymore fancy dinners or a trip to the Alps.

Clause 2.0: In return, Steve Rogers will take care of and pay all bills. Any extra cash needed will be provided.

2.1: A credit card with a limit will be available at any time

You stared at the words, it almost seemed too good to be true. You'd struggled with money nearly all your life and for Steve to just take all those troubles away?

Clause 3.0: This is a monogamous, exclusive relationship where no third party shall be involved unless each party involved agrees.

No problem there.

Clause 4.0: Transportation and housing will be provided through Steve Rogers.

As your eyes scanned through each clause you felt yourself getting antsy, wanting to see Steve again as you chewed on your lip.

You got to the final clause, skimming it over.

Clause 10.0: You are to refer to Steve Rogers as Daddy unless specified otherwise.

Your stomach flipped, thighs burning as you longed to feel the weight of his cock between your legs. You wanted to sign the damn thing right then and there, but you capped the pen, sliding the contract up the table before hopping into the shower.

Tomorrow would be interesting.

Steve had chosen an equally fancy restaurant, you expected nothing less as you walked through the glass doors, led to the table where Steve was waiting for you, phone to his ear as he caught sight of you.

You were wearing the only form fitting dress you owned, but it clung to you like a second skin and you could see his eyes darken as he cut whoever was on the phone by hanging up on them without a second thought.

"Christ, Princess," he groaned in your ear as he enveloped you, "you tryin' to give me a heart attack?" He smirked, taking your head and letting you spin around as you giggled.

"Only the best for you, Daddy." You purred, watching as his jaw clenched. You slid into the seat, Steve climbing in beside you in the booth before his hand was instinctively on your thigh.

Two menus are placed in front of you, the waiter pouring two glasses of water as you skim through the pages.

"I have something for you," you whisper, grabbing the folded contract out of your purse, handing it to Steve as he looks at you darkly.

He looks through it, noting the signature as he shoves it into his blazer pocket.

"It's all official now, Princess," he purrs, tilting your chin upwards with his index finger so you're looking up at him. You can feel the heat coming off of his body, the warmth of his finger under your chin causes you to shiver as his lips hover over yours, "meet me in the bathrooms in three minutes."

With that, Steve slipped out of the booth and gave you one last glance over his shoulder before disappearing from sight. Your heart was racing, nearly beating out of your chest as you tapped your fingers on the table before deciding fuck it and slinking away to the bathroom.

Steve was leaning against the wall, foot against the wall as he cocked his head to the side.

"There's my best girl," he said, extending his hand before pushing you both through the threshold of the toilets.

The door was locked seconds later, Steve whipping around to pin you against the sinks.

"Princess do you have any idea how hard it's been to keep my mind off of you? When I've had you writhing under me, my cock deep inside of you as I fucked you senseless?" His words were a low growl in your ear as you gasped.

"Daddy, fuck, I-I need you." You mewled, pouting and nearly begging him up you looked up at him through your lashes.

"Love hearin' you beg for my cock, Princess." He growls, hand snaking behind your neck as he kisses you roughly. It's teeth and tongue as he nips at your lower lip, tugging it before he's shoving his thick thigh between your legs.

You gasp at the contact, his hard flesh meeting your core as jolts of electricity run through you. You can barely keep your eyes open as his mouth is sucking right below your ear, his coarse beard tickling at your skin.

"Grind yourself over my thigh, Princess. Wanna watch as you ride it." He whispers darkly into your ear. You're shamelessly grinding yourself over his thigh as his hands go to palm your breasts through your dress.

It feels quick and dirty, but it's exactly what you need.

"Fuck, Daddy, want your cock." You whimper before he's stopping all movements to grab your chin and force you to look up at him.

"Oh is my dumb baby already so desperate for my cock, hmm? Then get on your knees and open that pretty mouth of yours." It's a simple command, your breath getting caught in your throat as you're pushed down onto the cool tiling of the bathroom floor.

You watch as he undoes his belt, bulge meeting your eyes before he's freeing his cock.

"Go on, Princess. Put that sweet mouth of yours to work," he purrs, running his thumb over your bottom lip as you wrap your hand around his base.

You pump him slowly, eyes watching him as he lets out a low groan, throwing his head back when you wrap your lips around his tip.

You can taste the salty pre-cum as you take him further, slowly relaxing your throat before hollowing your cheeks as you bob your head.

"Oh fuck—what a good little girl, look so pretty with Daddy's cock in your mouth Princess." He praises, your arousal growing as you feel your panties get wetter as you take him further.

Steve's gripping the edge of the counter as he lets his head fall forward. Your saliva coats his cock, your hands, and your chin as you moan around him. Steve's low grunts and groans fill the echoey bathroom before he's pulling his cock out of your mouth.

"Up. Now." And there's a sense of urgency in his voice that you've never heard before.

You do as you're told, Steve lifting you onto the counter and hiking your dress up, sneering when he finds you wearing panties.

"What did I tell you about panties, Princess?" It's a condescending tone as your head falls forward. He's pinching each cheek with his fingers as he makes you look up at him.

"Good girls get rewards," he speaks, "but bad, bratty girls don't get to cum." He growls, ripping your panties off as you squeak.

He's plunging his cock into you seconds later, the action causing your body to jolt upwards. Steve is merciless in his thrusts as he keeps your body locked with his, your legs wrapped around his torso as he clamps his hand around your mouth to keep you quiet.

"My dumb little baby, couldn't even listen to simple instructions," he grunts, "God your pussy feels so good wrapped 'round me, Princess."

You can feel the coil starting to form, the pressure building as your toes curl inside of your shoes and you want nothing more than to chant more, more, more.

"I know you wanna cum, baby, I can feel you squeezin' me," he whispers huskily, a dark smirk on his lips.

"If only you had listened to your Daddy," he almost snickers as he pulls out, fisting his cock until he's painting your thighs with his cum. It makes you shudder, watching him cum, feeling him cum, as he makes you watch.

He's breathing heavy, panting nearly as he drops his hand and kisses each cheek lightly before sealing his lips over yours.

"Let's get you all cleaned up, Sweetheart." Steve's tone has changed, now sweet and caring as he takes care of the mess he's made. You let, relishing in the gentle touches before he's helping you down from the sink and back onto your feet.

You pout when you meet his eyes again and he taps your nose, "don't give me that look, Princess." He warms playfully before you're making a hmph sound that makes him chuckle.

"How about I take you back to mine, we'll order in tonight, though what I want a taste of isn't exactly on anyone's menu."

any and all feedback is always appreciated! <3

#steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader smut #sugar daddy!steve #steve rogers headcanon #steve rogers headcanons #steve rogers au #steve rogers oneshot #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers series #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x you smut

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m111nho · 3 years

Text

What was the conversation between Jean and Eren in the paths during chapter 139?This is my take<3

warnings:swearing,kinda angsty,spoilers of snk chapter 139

About 900 words,,,Ik it's small leave me be😌

"Now I remember...you conscientious piece of shit."

Jean woke up back in the training corps' canteen.He felt different,he subconsciously reached up to his chin to feel his precious beard and almost groaned when instead of a thin layer of facial hair he touched smooth teenage skin.Looking around he saw someone vaguely familiar making his eyes gulp,no it can't be.There it was,a more young,scrawny version of Eren.Then he realised that he couldn't feel his hair prickling his nape anymore,it was almost as if he's traveled back in time,back in his first night as a trainee.Turning to the green eyed teen he felt his anger rise up,what is this?

"Jean,hey."Eren said and made his away from behind the table,now infront of his foe.It might have been the anger,it might have been the overwhelming oblivion and confusion but Jean found himself sending a punch on Eren, scoring a hit square on the jaw.

Eren couldn't say he was completely surprised by Jean's actions but it sure as hell caught him of guard.Holding his jaw he looked up to a very angry looking Jean,reaching for the collar of his shirt.

"Not you too Jean,fuck."he spit out.

"Eren what the fuck is this?Where are we?Is this all a twisted game of yours?Am I dead?Is that why we're back in the training corps?And if I am then why the hell am I with you?"he yelled on his face,making Eren flinch.

"Calm down you're not dead,at least not yet."Eren shrug off Jean's hands off his shirt."I just wanted to talk before we head to war.This is a kind of throw back, you'll see in a while."Jean raised his eyebrows,no longer angry just completely confused.Then his brain dinged when Eren said the word <<talk>> and his anger came back in an instant.

"What the fuck did you say to Mikasa?"his mouth speaking before his mind could process his words.Eren stiffed up.

"Ah I see you know then."his gaze fell on the ground,mood shifted.

"No,when you and your army of fascist suicidal blockheads locked us up I saw her,and she looked like her heart had been ripped off from her chest.She took the fucking scarf off! I'd never seen her without it so I assumed it was you who'd done something.Armin just informed us that you said hurtful things to her so please tell me Eren what the fuck did you say to her."he almost growled and Eren sighed.

"Well I practically told her that she only follows me around because of her Ackerman blood,that she's a slave with no free will, blindly following orders.Then I told her that I've always hated her,ever since we were kids."Jean gapped,hands snatching Eren's collar once again.

"Are you serious Eren?You had her love and you just threw all that without even thinking how lucky you are for being the one receiving her affections.You're so fucking stupid."his screech rarely affected Eren whose gaze was now dropped to the ground."Look at me you ungrateful bastard."Jean started to scream once again but stopped the moment he saw Eren's eyes filled with tears.The shorter teenager shrug off Jean's hands off his collar once again.

"You think I don't know that?You think that I haven't been hating myself for this?Fuck you don't understand what I went through to get those words,those utterly ridiculous words out,much less seem believable!"he screamed,the person that Jean had almost forgot existed was once again in the surface;an angry,loud and passionate kid.Eren.

"Wait,you didn't mean any of it?I knew it."he said looking back at his former comrade,who was wiping his tears.

"Of course I didn't mean it,how can I?Mikasa is the person I imagined spending my whole life with."

Realisation flashed across Jean's face.Spending his whole life with her? Surely that can't be platonic! Does he mean-

"You love her don't you."his words laced with heartbreak.Of course he did,how could anyone not love her.

"Now that buddy,is something we have in common." a bitter laugh escaped his lips saying these words."Everything I ever did was for you guys,for you to become heroes,to live freely.That's why I need you to fight me,kill me.The rumbling will wipe out about 80% of the world's population,after that I leave it all to you."he continued and Jean finally understood.

"You played the devil so that we could..."he trailed off and Eren nodded.

"There will no longer be Titan powers in this world by the way.After I die,all eldians will no longer be able to shift into titans."

"Fuck Eren you really are a suicidal blockhead."he smiled and the other laughed.

"Since day one...for now you will forget everything we said but you will probably remember it after everything's over."Eren finished and Jean pulled him in a tight embrace.

"Take care of her for me horseface."he felt him whisper on his neck and nodded frantically.

The next thing he remembers is waking up feeling his skin boiling,around him Reiner,Connie,Annie... everyone was alive.

"Now I remember...you conscientious piece of shit."

After seeing Sasha smiling at him and Connie he turned himself around and saw her.She was holding something in her hands lovingly,it was Eren's head,a blonde now running towards her.She really did it huh.

Don't worry Eren,I'll keep her safe for you.

ok don't hate me I hurt myself writing it too.

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momtaku · 3 years

Note

Honestly, I never wanted to see anything "ship-related" in these extra pages. As an eremika shipper myself, rn I don't even care anymore about Mikasa getting married but ugh the leaks are only making the ending more confusing. Even tho the og chapter had a few flaws and left some unanswered questions, personally I was satisfied with the ending not because MY SHIP GOT CANON but because I felt like I could understand what Yams was trying to convey. As much as I love Mikasa, her ending was the least of my concerns coz to me she looked fine in the final chapter. She looked healthy and ready to move on and everything else was left to interpretation. And here I thought these extra pages would fill up those gaps a little but I really don't know anymore. A part of me wants to keep believing in Yams coz these pages are still VERY out of context but another part of me can't help but feel disappointed. With these new pages, Yams can write down a whole new series but I never hoped for a sequel, I don't want it. The og chapter had an open ending too but as far as I could understand, I didn't feel like a sequel was needed after that. But now.....ugh. I was genuinely satisfied with the previous ending and I thought maybe with a few dialogue changes and a few more additional panels, the ending would look a bit more fleshed out. But the leaks are making it look like a completely new chapter to me and honestly, I might accept it eventually but I don't think I'd enjoy it once it gets released.

I feel like that’s what is most upsetting to a lot of people. We processed the ending. We thought we were done. We were excited for new content because we were told it would expand what was already there and fill some gaps. Instead we get more questions and the biggest curveball of them all - the potential for the titan curse to be reintroduced into the world.

I can understand why it’s upsetting for Eremika fans primarily, but also for anyone who’d hoped that Eren’s “sacrifice” would benefit his friends in some way. As someone firmly in the “genocide is never ok” camp, I’m fine with Eren’s actions continuing to spiral into worse and worse conditions. He made horrific mistakes. He betrayed his friends. He laid the foundations for Paradis to become a cruel and militarized nation, He attempted world genocide. Everyone around him continues to pay for his mistakes. It’s tragic and cruel, but not unrealistic. If the titan curse had truly ended, it would be the only glimmer of light in that dark scenario.

Like you I think I preferred the first ending though because it left a capacity for hope. I appreciated that. We were left imagining a future of open possibilities for Mikasa and one where Armin and the ambassadors for peace had a chance at success. So I sympathize with you.

Hugs to the Eremika community who was thrown this curveball and also to the Jeankasa who community who I’d imagine are feeling the whole “canon but at what cost” pain 💕

Thanks for the ask!

#chatting with friends #snk chapter 139 #just to be clear I don't hate the spoilers #I'm fine with them #but I see people genuinely upset over them and I hate that #I'd have preferred the more open ending as well I think #Anonymous

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wendystales · 3 years

Text

Memories - lrh (Chapter Sixteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Fifteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Seventeen

Luke pov.

“Do it again.” Ashton asks, staring at me intently.

We were about to leave my house for my surprise party, which I discovered in less than an hour. I was rehearsing a face of surprise so as not to end the surprise, cause I know everyone worked hard for it.

I widen my eyes, breaking into a smile.

“I can't believe you deceived me.” I say with my voice altered by the ‘surprise’.

“Don't say that, it will be very obvious that you know. Says ‘I can't believe you threw a party for me’.” he suggests.

"I can't believe you threw a party for me." I redo the entire acting.

“Yep! Me either. But what doesn't M&Ms ask, that I don't do?” Ash dries the water bottle with a shrug. “I'm just kidding.” he laughs after seeing my face.

“Speaking of her…” I fill my glass with some more wine, since it's too early for us to go. “Something new?” Ashton denies, frustrated too.

“I commented that she was acting weird, but she just changed the conversation and said that she's been busy and that she was nervous about the party.” he sighs. I massage my forehead, annoyed.

"Am I going to have to put her against the wall to get something?" I look at him, not knowing what to do.

“You know this isn't going to work. She's going to run away, you're going to fight, she's going to walk away and you're going to be more annoying than you already are.” I appreciate my friend's attempt to change the mood with provocation, but it has no effect.

"I can't find any reason to give me any sign of what's going on. Was it my fault? I knew I shouldn't have stayed with her that Saturday, I pushed the situation too hard and now she's pulling away, avoiding me-”

“Oh shut up! Don't even start with that.” Irwin raises his voice, cutting mine off. "Marnie isn't like that, she doesn’t do these things. If she wasn't comfortable she was going to talk. You said yourself that she asked you to sleep there. She let you pick her up on Monday and asked you to take her home, even after you dedicated Best Years to her. She didn't run away there, because it was remarkable how much she liked the song. You should pay more attention to the way she looks at you.”

A silly laugh escapes my lips when I see Ashton imitate her looking at me and smiling. My heart warms at the possibility that she is actually falling in love with me, just as I already am with her.

"Luke, if she didn't want to get back together, she wouldn't open up so many gaps and opportunities for you to be together. She must just be confused about the feelings. That's how it looked for the first time. Look, let's analyze her behavior today, after all the stress of the party and then we get stressed.”

I agree with my friend. I'm freaking out over something that shouldn't be very important. Maybe it's all the pressure with finishing the album. The release date is approaching and sure enough, Jim freaking out in my ear for the publicity trip we were supposed to be doing, but we're still going against it due to Marnie's accident.

I don't know how many times I have to tell him I'm not leaving LA yet. This delay wasn't hindering anything, so I don't know why he makes such a point.

“Go, get rid of that dead face and let's enjoy your party.” Ash slaps my shoulder.

We left the house, heading to Jack's house, where the party would be. I've been training my face the entire way, wanting it to be as realistic as possible, even though everyone already suspects that I know.

Even if I didn't know it, the moment I see the street full of cars, I realize that I would find out there. Irwin tells them we're coming and I notice the noise of the music fade away. Discreet.

We entered the house, finding everything quiet and tidy. But when we turn to the kitchen and garden, a lot of people scream in surprise. I take a step back, like I'm really shocked.

"I can't believe you did that." I look at Ash, wanting to see that I did well. But his expression ‘so so’ disappoints me.

“In the car it was better.” he says before walking away and letting people get closer.

I don't know how many people I hugged, but I know the only one I wanted to see was the last one to arrive. I hold my breath, seeing her in a black leather skirt and a transparent black blouse, highlighting her tattoo between her breasts.

I swallow hard, cracking a nervous smile as she approaches with a huge grin, almost jumping into my lap. Unlike yesterday, where I just got a congratulations message, M&Ms hug me, leaving a lingering kiss on my cheek.

“Happy Birthday!” the gleam in her eyes proves to me she's already a little high.

I resist the urge to steal a kiss from her lips, just kissing her cheek back but giving her waist a squeeze, pressing her against my body. She seems to notice my intent, drastically changing her breathing.

"I wanted to talk to you later. If possible.” I say against her ear.

“About?” her eyes sweep me for any clues.

“Surprise.” I reveal, seeing her roll her eyes in agreement.

I watch her walk away with the girls, but she doesn't fully break eye contact with me, looking at me from afar. I let out a breath, realizing it's going to be a long night and another long battle to resist her and the urge to take her to a dark corner.

In the kitchen, where most of the drinks are, I start my work, drinking the alcohol, enjoying the burning sensation that the liquid leaves in my throat. I get distracted with video game conversation and allow my mind to relax with lighter, more relaxed topics.

The party had been going on for a few hours. My head is already light, due to the high alcohol content my body retains. I know I'm laughing at some bullshit Brian is talking about, even though his words don't make any sense in my mind. Maybe I've already had too much to drink and it's better to stop for a while. I don't want to be sick at my own party.

The term vibrates in my mind and I start searching the crowd for the cotton candy hair, worried about her condition. The feeling pulls my head out of the air, sobering me up for a few minutes.

I find her dancing hand in hand with Noah, laughing at the older man's exaggerated steps. I stare at the scene, happy that she is enjoying herself. Unlike at the beginning of the week, Marnie is now upbeat and not acting. Maybe Irwin is right and she was just stressed about the birthday party.

I push my thoughts away, concentrating on yet another beer pong game. I've played more times than I could count and I'm starting to doubt the two arms Jack has won since my last drink.

“Problems.” Michael sings beside me, pointing to the door. Pam walked in smiling excitedly, holding hands with a guy who sure as hell didn't want to be there. It's not possible…

Sobriety hits me like a cannon. All the alcohol and smoke that was in my body is gone and I am able to think clearly for the first time since I arrived.

I massage my forehead, bringing my gaze to Marnie, who's already staring at Pam without a specific expression. I cross the room with incredible ease, reaching for her, hugging her waist, pulling her to me.

“We can talk now?” Marnie didn't even seem to hear me, still staring at Pam, who was greeting some people. "M&Ms?" I call closer to her ear, but no effect. “Hey!” I drop a kiss to her temple, squeezing her waist.

Her green eyes cross mine and I can palpate the insecurity in them. Marnie just nodded, letting me lead her out of the room. We went up to a room, being alone. I look at her face, still half lost, and I approach slowly, feeling that little box weigh tons in my pocket.

“What do you want to talk about?” she gives a slight smile, turning her full attention to me.

“First I wanted to apologize for Pam. I didn't know what she was going to come.” Marnie rolls her eyes, shrugging.

“It’s OK! No need to apologize. My head is so full I don't even care about her anymore.” she sits up in bed, crossing her legs.

“And I believe she won't even mind us today, after all, she came with someone” I sat beside her.

“Yeah! Poor guy.” I let out a laugh at her pity for the poor boy. “It was just that?”

I lose myself in her eyes for a few seconds, wondering if that's all. I draw her face in my mind once more, recording every feature I fell in love with. My lips tingle as I landed my eyes on her mouth, slightly reddened by the drink.

At another time, right now she and I would be locked in some bathroom or bedroom, succumbing to desire and the alcohol in our blood. My fingertips ache amidst the memories of all the times I have run across her skin, feeling it burn under my touch.

My mind starts to cloud and the flashes of the two of us become more and more vivid. I try to push those thoughts away, but they seem to sink into my mind with force. My body heats up with every scene my mind plays. I feel the blood running the wrong way and I don't know how to stop it.

"Luke?" I'm startled by your touch on my hand. Marnie was looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and concern. “Are you okay?” I watch her hand squeeze mine, like she always did when I was angry or upset.

And just with that touch, everything stops inside me. The fire is gone and now I'm seized by a gigantic pain and rage in my chest, a rage for her being ripped from me so abruptly. I stare at her fingers moving gently, transmitting a caress throughout my body.

"Luke?" now she was looking at me extremely worried.

“Sorry. I think the drink hit.” I open a smile, trying to calm her down. M&Ms don't seem to buy much, but she smiles smugly.

“I already told you you're drinking a lot. In a little while you'll be passed out and won't even enjoy your own birthday party.” my smile widens in the midst of her care. "Don't give me that smile." she pushes my face away. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

“No!” this time I answer faster. “Actually, I wanted to give you something.” I fish the little white box in my pocket, feeling my fingers as soft as jelly. What if she doesn't like it? What if she gets angry?

“You know it's your birthday, right? You're the one who should get presents, not give. Especially for me.” she looks at me angrily, not wanting to accept the box.

"Well, it's my birthday and I'll do what I want, in which case I give it to you." I place the object in her hands. “I wanted to wait until your birthday, but it's still far away and I can't take it.” I lift my shoulders quickly, making her laugh.

Taking advantage of the fact that she was involved with the present, slowly, I move closer to her body, contenting myself with the least contact we have. I notice Marnie hold her breath at the sight of the blue quartz necklace, just like the one she had.

With no more reaction than that, I start to convince myself that I've fucked up and she hated it. It wasn't the time yet, as much as everything was going well, it wasn't the time yet.

“I can't believe you did this.” her voice comes out in a breath in surprise. I let my mind race to our first Christmas, where she gave me my necklace and I gave that star to her.

“If you don't like it…” my voice trails off as I see her eyes watery and filled with joy. It was the right time.

I'm not afraid to advance towards her, covering your lips with mine in a short kiss. The cherry taste becomes my favorite for the rest of the night. Marnie wipes her tears as she calls herself pathetic for crying.

"I know we used it as a dating ring, but it doesn't have to be-”

"Could you put it on for me?" she interrupts me, not caring about my fear. With my hands still trembling and cold, I close the necklace around her neck, enjoying the scene of her smiling enchanted by that stone. “Thanks!”

This time it is she who steps forward, stealing a kiss. The mood changes drastically. The screams outside seem to die in my ears, leaving only silence. The music that used to burst had ceased to exist.

That little kiss breaks, but she doesn't pull away, keeping her forehead still glued to mine. I'm startled when her eyes return to mine, I can see her perfectly there, in front of me, in my arms. I recognize that glow, that look and what it wanted to convey.

It was her there. The reason I get up every morning. The reason that makes me want to be better and better. The person I always want to impress. My girl. My Marnie.

I bring my hand to the back of her neck, bringing our lips together once more. I feel goose bumps as our tongues touch and her hand cups my face, holding me there. If she knew the last thing I want is to run away…

I'm surprised I feel despair on her side. The urgency on her lips. The need for the touch of her hands, the way they ran through my hair, the back of my neck and chest.

Easily, I pull her onto my lap, moaning, feeling her body against mine after so long. The fire that had previously ceased inside me, runs again through my veins, making everything too cloudy. I can't reason whether this was right or not. We both drink too much. She still hasn't given me full openness to so much attitude, even though she's still here, kissing me.

I try for a few minutes to clear my mind, to be a little rational and not get carried away by emotion, but the sound her mouth makes when I touch her neck with my lips ruins whatever train of thought I was building.

I touch the exact spots that make her moan and scramble for more friction. I watch thirstily as her eyes roll back and her lip is bitten in an attempt to control the moans. Her nails scratch the back of my neck, releasing an electric current that migrates between my legs.

I gasp when I feel her rub against my groin, spreading a current throughout my body. I want to beg her to do it again, but it's not really necessary, she knows and she does. So excruciating, but so good. Again I am startled to find that glow that I knew so much. I wonder where this Marnie was all along.

I shove my hand inside her shirt, enjoying her burning skin. I stroke the spot below her bra with my thumb, wanting not to frighten her. I suck the skin under her ear, lapping it with my tongue. My body combusts as she stirs and presses her crotch harder against mine. I cup her breast with enjoyment, hearing her call my name the way I liked it best.

Her desperate hands run inside my jacket, wanting to throw it away. I was ready to help when a heavy knock on the door disrupts our moment.

"What the fuck is it?" anger rips up my throat, causing a very angry scream. So much time to interrupt.

"It's time to cut the cake." I hear Calum's voice and feel like throwing him from the second floor.

“Serious? Stick the cake in your-” two small hands cover my mouth, preventing me from continuing.

“We're on our way, Cal.” Marnie yells louder and breathless.

I watch your body soften, lost and, I fear, even regretful. She is no longer there. She avoids looking at me, perhaps out of shame.

“It was better this way.” her sweet voice comes closer to a whisper.

“Was?” I stare at her, not wanting to accept that I was the only one to feel it. I know I wasn't, because her expression tells me I'm right.

“Was! You know it was.” her tone is still sweet, but her gaze is hard. "I think we'd better go downstairs." she gets up carefully, getting out of bed. I throw my head against my hands, visibly frustrated.

"Go ahead, I need to get both heads in place." I throw my body against the mattress.

“Sorry, Luke.” I can't stand her feeling guilty when she's the biggest victim of all this.

"M&Ms?" I leap out of bed, grabbing her before disappearing through the door. “It's not your fault. I'm the one who lost control, I'm sorry. You didn't give me the opening to attack you like that and I let myself go…” her lips silence me.

“It wasn't anyone's fault, can we do that?” I nod, stealing the last kiss before I let her go. "I'll wait for you downstairs." she announce.

I turn around, heading back to bed, still feeling frustration coursing through my veins.

“Hey!” I turn to see her there, standing in the doorway. My chest races with yearning from the many times I've seen her do the same scene. My ears and heart ache wanting to hear those words that always came next. Those three words that were so beautiful in her mouth. “Thanks for this.” she smiles and leaves.

I stare at the wood, snapping back to reality. I'm such an idiot for thinking she was going to say she loves me. I hide my face, exhausted. I look across the bed, able to see the two of us there, so given to each other.

I replay the scene in my head, tasting her kiss on my lips. Feeling my body tingle, still wanting her touch. The pressure on my pants becomes bigger and more uncomfortable. I need to make this go away. I scramble my mind for many things to calm myself down, but I can't. I can still feel her hands running around the back of my neck and her groin against mine.

"Shit!" I give up, going to the bathroom and locking myself in there. I don't care if I'm late, or what they think. I won't be able to eliminate this with thoughts alone.

I lower my pants and underwear, releasing my already throbbing member. I run my hand over it, making my body vibrate in relief. I let my mind flood with all thoughts and memories with her, feeling my body inflate further.

I increase my speed, being able to feel her touch through my body. I punch the wall, feeling my stomach contract. I rest my forehead against the cool coating, letting out several sighs. Her eyes flash in my mind.

The many times I've seen her face twist in pure orgasm under my touch. That smirk and that vulgar glow she always lets off before pulling me aside. And I always did, like a puppy.

My breathing gets out of control as I reach my orgasm. A wave of relief and lightness overcomes me, along with a wave of guilt. It must have been the 15th time since it all happened.

I can't have her. I can't stand the idea of looking for someone else, even though we are not officially together, so I have to get by with baths and my bare hands, but as a result I feel like the dirtiest human being, as she doesn't even suspect.

I walk down the stairs, not attracting any attention. I find her sitting on the couch, on Leah's lap, laughing at some imitation Ashton was doing. I approach the group, who make no fuss about my delay.

I pick up the bottle of white wine on the coffee table, flipping half the contents. I feel her green eyes burn on me and I don't even have the courage to reciprocate by ignoring her.

“Is everything OK? Sorry if I messed something up.” Hood says next.

“It's OK! In fact, it was better, if you didn't show up, we would have done something stupid.” I say dry.

"Is that why this sour face?" he raises an eyebrow.

"I'm feeling awful for almost bringing her to this and not having the conscience to stop." I reveal a part of the guilt that burns in me.

“Luke, you are not complete strangers. And maybe she really wanted to go further, she just didn't know how. After all, at that moment she was supposed to be your f-”

"I know!" I cut it off, not wanting to hear the rest of the sentence.

For my salvation, someone starts to sing happy birthday and the matter is closed. I open a smile disguising the shit my head was on. Michael puts a little purple hat on my head, blowing a plastic horn, very excited.

The scene makes me laugh, relieving the stress. I watch Leah and Kyleen swing colorful pom poms behind Marnie, who is holding a small cake with several candles.

I look deep into her eyes, noticing her happiness to be there and somehow mine too. After all, she's here, even if she doesn't remember much, she's still here. The accident could have been a lot worse and I could have lost her forever.

I push the damn thoughts away, blowing out the candles and driving everyone crazy. I'm surprised when Marnie leans in, stealing a kiss, not caring that she's in front of everyone. Her rosy cheeks manage to steal a smile far bigger than Michael did.

In the back of the room, I notice Pam with her arms crossed and sulking. I don't know if Marnie did it on purpose, intent on teasing, but something she did, and if Pam is pissed off, we're happy.

The clock was already showing around 5:00 in the morning. I've already fluctuated my alcohol level more times than I can count. While the boys filled me with rum, M&Ms filled me with water and food, afraid I would go into an alcoholic coma or whatever. Of course I took advantage of her concern and all the attention she was giving me.

At some point during the party, Michael took over the DJ's table and there we were, jumping up behind him, singing I Want It That Way at the top of our lungs, with the lost girls trying to do the choreography. That was definitely the best thing about the party, right after my moment with Marnie in the bedroom.

Right after his moment commanding the party's playlist, Clifford decided to climb on the roof to jump into the pool. Something that was already taking a while to happen. What he and no one expected was Marnie yelling at him, worried.

“It's comical, because if it weren't for the amnesia and the lack of alcohol, she would be the one on the roof.” Irwin comments lying beside me, watching the scene of her yelling at Michael, asking him to come down.

“And we called the fire department because she got stuck again.” I shake my head, wanting not to laugh at the memories. “Good times.” I'm toasting my friend, still watching her worriedly behind the older one.

Sitting in the garden, talking to some friends, I watch the girl laughing in a circle with Noah and Calum. She gets up, walking into the house, returning in a few minutes. I watch her come around, stopping behind me.

“Now the one who needs to talk is me.” she whispers in my ear. I don't think twice about taking your hand and heading out of the wheel chat.

I can see a large package in her hands and the idea of being my gift makes me anxious. A little farther away from the mess that remained, she hands me the black box with a gold bow on top. Before opening it, I take a look at her excited smile, letting out a laugh.

I find five rings and three necklaces arranged around the box. I can't hold back the smile, seeing what she's chosen. I know I might look like an idiot for some jewelry, but it's amazing jewelry she picked out.

“You liked?” she bites her lower lip, curious.

“I loved!” I hug your body, thanking her. I know she has no intentions other than to give me a birthday present, but of course I will wear these rings and necklaces with more affection than usual. “Thanks.” I mean, still ecstatic.

Hand in hand, we approached the crowd again, bumping into Kiki, Sophie and Michael.

“We were thinking about going to Michael's house. The party is already boring and I'm hungry.” Kiki comments. I look a little offended at her, after all, that was my birthday party. “Oh! Nothing personal.” she laughs, slapping me on the shoulder.

“What do you think?” I ask the M&Ms, who shrug their shoulders. "Have you talked to the rest?"

“Leah was going to call Noah and Ash, we were going to rescue Calum.”

“OK! We'll get our stuff and meet you at the door.” Marnie agrees and so we disperse.

Still holding hands, we walked back upstairs, looking for her bag. In the kitchen, I grab a bottle of vodka, a tequila, and a whiskey, trying to put everything in my bag, but it doesn't quite work.

“We should take advantage of the gathering and have your liver funeral.” I turn to Marnie who glares at me, seeing three bottles in my arm and me struggling to open one of beer.

Easily, we made our way to the front door, finding Kiki and Sophie. Gradually, everyone arrived and so we left the party, without saying goodbye to anyone.

“Uh, tequila?” Hood comes towards me, hugging the bottle.

Michael's house was the closest and, having drunk too much, we thought we'd better walk.

On the way, we stopped at a bakery, buying a bunch of things to eat. The day was already showing signs of life when we arrived at Mike's house. At the dinner table, we spread out the stolen drinks and food, starting our round table, as well as picking up several board games that Michael kept.

“I wanted to propose a toast to Mr. Luke Hemmings.” Noah draws the toast, making everyone raise their glasses and bottles. “One of the few people worth meeting in this hellish city where you can't trust anyone. The other people are unfortunately not present…”

A shower of paper balls and food flies towards the 20 minutes older twin. I'm surprised when I watch Marnie leave my arms, standing up.

“I also wanted to give a speech.”

“You didn't have to, babe.” I say, shaking her hand that still had our fingers intertwined.

“It's not about you.” she sticks out her tongue, causing everyone to scream.

“Ouch!” I put my hand to my chest, accepting the blow and still feeling my heart race.

“Shut up.” she screams, laughing. “Well, I wanted to make this toast in thanks to all of you. I know it's been three years of friendship, but for me it's only been a month and even with all the confusion and breakup.” her fingers squeeze mine and I move them, giving them a light caress. “You still took me in and took great care of me. I am eternally grateful for that. Leah doesn't even start crying, I need to get this over with and if I cry it's going to go wrong.” the mood breaks a little with the laughter. “Bottom line, I just want to say that whatever the future holds, I like you all a lot and that this isn't just a bunch of crazy friendship the universe threw at me, it's the family I've been looking for. As Noah said, you're the few people worth living in this hell of a city and I love you all so much. Cheers!”

Everyone raises their glasses once more, toasting her speech. I cross my gaze with Leah, who has also noticed something odd. She still hadn't commented on Monday's episode and I still had it hanging around in my mind.

It was very visible that something was troubling her. Her eyes wandering lost, her disappearance since Monday until today, claiming to be super busy and out of time. Everyone was sensing that something was wrong, but she wouldn't let go or comment on it.

“Especially you.” I focus my attention on her, who settles back into my arms. “Regardless of our future, I like you very much.” she whispers, before pressing her lips to mine. “Please never forget that. Promise?”

I get lost in her eyes, noticing a hint of fear and pain in them. It's horrible to see her like this and not know what to do. For nothing in this world I want her to feel unprotected or alone, she said herself that we are a family, so she wouldn't have to face anything alone.

“Only if you promise me you'll tell me what's going on.” I play hard, not caring if this becomes an issue between us, or if it pushes her away a little.

“Luke…” my name comes out in a painful sigh.

"Marnie." I say her name harshly, wanting her to understand that I won't change my mind.

“I'll tell. Just not today. Today is your day and that's what matters to me. So please let's enjoy?” she begs. As always, I surrender, nodding. I drop a kiss to her forehead, before pulling her to my chest again.

Hastings still looks at me suspiciously and unfortunately I only have reason to agree with her. Something was up with Marnie and she didn't want to tell us.

A minute of silence, our baby is turning 25 today and I am not knowing how to handle it.

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