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fineprintedsunsets · 9 months

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𝙷𝙸𝚁𝙰𝙴𝚃𝙷

This Is For Haunted Hoedown Day 12! | My Haunted Hoedown Master-List

nurse au

Synopsis: Nurse Levinson knows her, and for as long as he can remember, he wants to help her. And tonight, his plan is going to work.

Word Count: 1.8k

Trigger Warnings: THE LAST DAY OF #HAUNTEDHOEDOWN, this is a bit late. nurse!ari levinson x unnamed f!oc. suicide attempt. HEAVY CONTENT<please read with caution> . Self-Harm. relaspe. feeling numbness, no emotion. pain. (lots of fucking pain). im so in love with ari saying "mama". comfort. psych wards. angst. (i fucking hate those places, and this was written with every ounce of hate i could muster) this is fiction, you obvi cant just walk out of a ward. (i wish someone just picked me up and carried me out of that hell hole.)

I miss my body.

The version of my vessel that remains unscared and unbroken. It's gone now, battered with bruises and self-inflicted scars.

I miss my home, the one I inhabited before I was caged with white walls and prescription pills.

I miss myself.

I can't describe myself, oddly. I can barely remember what I used to look like other than dull eyes and sunken cheekbones.

I’m dying in this place. Slowly, mentally.

I stare up at the white tiles, the same ones I’ve been looking at for months. They never change, I wish they would. The sound of a door clicking open, the noise bouncing off the walls, notifies me of the time.

“Hey Mama, how are you feeling today?” Nurse Levinson greets me with a small smile. I glance at him from my lying down position, seeing him follow with a cart of medication. I groan, turning away.

“Mama’s, Answer me.” The nurse demands, but I just sigh, sitting up to grab my medication, each colored pill placed in separate clear cups. There are five. Before I can wrap my frail fingers around one, Ari snatches the cart away.

“Mama.”

“I’m fine,” I answer bluntly. Although I’ll never say it aloud, Ari is the only nurse without evil intentions. He’s a good man, one I would have been friends with when I was still…

Me.

His tall frame comes to the side of my white bed, his large fingers cupping my chin. It’s nothing special, but it makes me feel for just a sliver of a second, feeling the heat from his palm press into my cheek.

“Not feeling group today?”

I shake my head, grabbing the first of five cups. “No”. He lets me this time, knowing my reluctance is evident. He should be used to it by now. I put the pill onto my tongue, making sure the appendage is flat. I don’t need a liquid, I’ve done this hundreds of times before.

I close my mouth, and close my eyes. My mouth wants to spit it out, wants to reject the medication like always. Ari stands in front of me, his fingers grasping gently at my chin as I’m forced to look into his eyes. “Swallow” He orders, My throat obeys him, forcing the red pill down.

I don’t gag, never have. Ari smiles with approval. “Good girl.”

I don’t feel anything by the words, although his presence offers me some form of my old self, which I haven’t seen in a while.

I don’t know if she was ever there.

“How about we skip group, and go straight to our lessons? What do you say?”

“No,” I answer him placidly, taking another pill and popping it into my mouth. This one is blue, it tastes no different.

“No? Mama, are you feeling alright?” I hate the way he speaks to me, as if I'm an animal in a cage, waiting to attack. I’m a grown adult.

“I’m not going to slit my wrist.” Ari's face turns into a wince at my sudden harsh words. I don’t care, they treat me like a weak little girl. I smile weakly, swallowing another pill in between dry gulps.

“I have to dull down the truth, I forgot, Nurse Levinson.” I began again, changing my words to the mandated ones we always use here. “I will not cause any harm to myself or others.”

Ari is battling with himself, I can see it in his features. He wants to feel bad for me, but just like the rest of us, he has a job to do.

“Mama-” He pleads, silently yearning for me to stop talking so plainly. Ari and everyone else here always want to cover up the truth, want to sugarcoat it in red and blue pills and select dialogue.

Screw that shit.

“I don’t want to go to the group, but you will take me anyway. I don’t want to go to lessons, but I'll be dragged there regardless” I turn towards him, moving off my mattress to stand in front of his tall form. He’s wearing blue scrubs, the same every day.

For I don’t know how long.

I lost track of time a while ago.

“Why do you ask me the same questions, as if I’ll have another answer?” He runs a large hand through his long blonde hair, sighing.

“It’s-”

“Required?” I finish his sentence with a silver tongue, my face unmoving. I’ve looked like the same frowning woman since I arrived here.

Nothing ever changes.

“Leave, Ari.” I start to walk by him, not going anywhere in my bedroom, The doors lock from outside, I could run, but I'd end up right back where I stand. I learned that the hard way.

His fingers grab my wrist gently, he’s careful to avoid the white scratches. He knows where my scars are, and he knows I hate them being touched.

I almost smile.

“You know I can’t do that.” He gruffs, I have to look up to him every time he talks, I'm much shorter.

“Because it’s required or?” Ari stops short, his fingers still grabbing gently at my wrist, the medication cart still off to the side. I could grab something.

I could.

He pulls me to him unexpectedly, and I let out a small whimper at how quickly he does it. His heat warms me up, although I’m just skin and bones against him, it makes me feel something. Ari always makes me feel.

It’s why I hate him.

I run my hands down his back, looking for something. Something very specific. He stills underneath my fingers, palms my head and brings me to his chest, our position resembling something of an awkward hug.

“I’m not required to care about my patients.”

A disappointed smile appears on my lips as I grab something from his pocket. He doesn't notice, my little fingers make it impossible. I recognize the tube immediately, and with all my strength, I push the man back, taking the tube with me.

He barely stumbles.

“Liar,” I whisper, holding the syringe in front of my face, Both I and Ari can see it, and the color that drains from his features makes the truth worth it. The tube has a label with a word I can not pronounce, but the number of times I’ve had one injected into me, I know what they do.

A sedative.

“Come on, mama. I have to carry them”. Ari pleads, his eyes wide. I circle him, watching as he flinches when I move closer.

I hate Ari Levinson because he feels like home. I hate him because I’m upset at the fact he carries a sedative when he walks into my room.

Normally, I wouldn’t care if a nurse carried a sedative, but because it’s Ari, a piece of my non-existent heart cracks. He stares at me. I stare at him.

I smile.

Ari knows he’s just lost me.

Not physically.

My broken vessel remains where It stands.

He’s lost my trust.

And we both know in here, that’s worth more than a life.

ꕤ

I don’t know how this happened.

After my chat with a deceitful Nurse, I went to a group, went to lessons with him, didn’t talk, and now somehow I’m running.

I did something, something bad.

There’s blood on my paper clothes.

My socks make it easier to run, they are good for something. I turn down another hallway, an alarm blaring loudly. They’ve announced a lockdown.

Everyone and their mothers are going to be in this hallway in about 3 minutes.

I didn’t mean to etch glass into my scars, allowing them to re-open, but I’ve never had an urge so strong in my entire life. After Ari left my room, taking the syringe and medicine cart with him, I felt again.

It’s weird, almost like flipping a switch back on but having to dust it off first, maybe fiddle with the wires. I can’t explain the true feeling of having consciousness of your body again, numbness turning into pain, feelings burning throughout you.

I was hurt by Ari carrying that syringe, he turned my switch back on.

And my mind went into pain.

I relapsed.

My feet hurt, I can’t stop running though, I feel a set of booths stomp behind me. They're coming for me, it’s only a matter of time.

I don’t know why I ran to begin with, they would have walked into my room, seen my bloodied wrist, bandaged it, and then sent me to a padded room. To “ensure” my safety, of course.

“Mama?” I hear his voice echo through the hallways, and I stop in my tracks. I don’t hear any other footsteps unless they're trying to ambush me. Why would they send Ari after me?

I don’t fight it when he finds me, I stopped running when I heard his voice.

My body just did it, even as I tried to move my feet, they wouldn’t budge. “Sweet girl…” His voice is taut with emotion, I know he notices my wrists, but he pays no attention to them.

“Come here.” Ari holds his arms out, and with the same reluctance, my body is attracted to his, like a magnetic force field pushing us close together. I settle into his arms, feeling his heat as he lifts me up, grabbing my ankles and wrapping them around his waist.

I look like a little girl with her father.

His fingers run through my hair as I bury my nose in his shoulders, his other hand holds me up as I cling to him. We stand there, in the middle of the red-lit hallway, alarm blaring, and he just holds me.

“Shh… You're with me, sweetheart.”

Ari keeps me supported against him, whispering words into my ears as he leads me down a hallway. I don’t recognize this one, I’ve never been down it.

But then I see a large red sign, spelling the word

“EXIT”.

I lift my head from his shoulder, my face unmoving as I ask, “Exit? Ari-”

“The sedative wasn’t for you, sweetheart.”

“It was for anyone who got in my way.”

My heart cracks as he glances down both ends of the hallway. They trusted him to come and find me, but really, he’s freeing me. “This was your plan, to free me-”

“You were never supposed to hurt yourself, Mama.”

The sunlight hits my skin immediately, and I bask in it, I haven’t felt it in months. The doors shut behind us, and security cameras can surely see me wrapped around his waist, his large hands placed at my back, and my little fingers, running through his long blonde hair.

My wrist hurts, but the guilt never comes, even as the blood starts to dry and the aftermath is revealed. Ari wanted me to find that syringe, that’s why he pulled me to his chest. He knew it would upset me, and he knew when I got upset, I ran.

“I’m glad I did”

“Sweetheart-”

“No, Now I know, Ari. I can feel.”

“You make me feel.”

#masterlist #fanfic #oneshot #ari levinson #ari levison x reader

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totebagchiqbarista · 3 years

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Heyy can i request a luka x fem!reader fic? Like you know how how luka is always calm and cool? What if he turns into a living mess after he meets reader? Like no stuttering or something but hes ranting about her to juleka all the time and cant concentrate when shes around??

what are you doing to me? // luka x fem!reader

request: anonymous

warnings: fluff, swearing?, Luka being a mess

pairing: Luka Couffaine x Fem!Reader

a/n: I really wanted to write some Luka stuff and this kind of stretched out to a good amount of words so I hope you like it! :)

"Dear God, Luka, stop talking!" Juleka shouted at her brother who entered her room uninvited for the 4th time today. She had understood he didn't have anybody really to talk to, but Lord was he getting annoying at this point.

"But I have to tell you something"

Pushing him out of her cabin one last time, Juleka stood at the door frame and stared at the blue boy. "Go out and find a life!" Of course, she didn't mean it like that, but before she could manage what she is doing, she slammed the door shut in front of him.

Luka was taken aback by the change in Juleka's attitude. He didn't flinch though. He was always that one collected and calm person in every group. Anger never fulfilled him in the ways it sometimes filled his mother, for example.

Anarka had never been the type to prohibit them of their freedom, but she tends to let her emotions take over her. When somebody mentions their dad, she turns red, wrathful at the memories that flow across her head. And it's never long until she completely lets rage form her.

But Luka was different. He was always the serene boy you would find in the back of the class writing songs, practicing riffs. When somebody took it out on him, Luka sucked it in, forgetting about the scene in a few days. He had never lost his temper, beat someone up, melted at someone's touch...

He didn't mind it, after all, there was nothing to whine about. He had all his emotions under control, and even though he would never admit it- it made him feel superior to others.

So Luka decided to go to the park. Whenever he had nothing to do, a simple solution always came to his mind- a warm walk through the park.

"Hi, Nino" he exclaimed seeing the familiar couple by the water fountain. "Hi, Alya."

Alya offered him a soft smile, taking a piece of Andre's ice cream. Nino lent him his famous handshake. "I'm excited for tonight!" said Alya, referring to the private hangout at Couffaine's that was yet to come.

Luka had completely forgotten about it. How could he do such a thing? Still, he kept his cool exterior, nodding his head in agreement. "Me too"

"Oh shoot! I forgot I was supposed to meet Y/n tonight" Alya looked back on her schedule.

"Who's that?" Luka questioned, having never heard of that name before

"An old friend of mine. She just recently moved here"

"She can come, too."

"Really?" Alya's face lit up in joy "You would do that?"

The blue-haired boy laughed "If there's one place in Paris everybody is welcomed, it for sure is the Couffaine's ship!"

"Great, we'll see you there soon!" Alya added before collecting her phone and her boyfriend, running to meet up with her long-term friend.

Luka was left alone by the fountain, staring faintly at the water drops in the pool. Hot summer day took a toll on him and his eyes closed slightly under the pressure of the beaming sunshine.

A wooden bench called out to him and so he sat underneath the cooling shade of the trees. Moments passed and Luka grew to be more impatient. Guests were to come tonight, maybe he should return and help Juleka set up for the evening hang out...

Just on a mark, a girl ran to the park, out of her breath. She seemed worn out as she breathed heavily from the excessive physical activity. She looked at the phone in her hands, it responding with a typical GPS lady voice.

"Shit" she mumbled as she frantically tried to get the directions from the small machine.

"Hey" Luka called out to her from his sitting position in the corner "Are you lost?"

The girl looked around, making sure the blue boy was talking to her. "Yeah, I guess I could say so." Just as she returned him the look, Luka was struck by her beauty. It seemed like such a cliché, really. And Luka hated clichés. Yet, he was mesmerized by the girl who stood before him.

"Right... Where do you need to go?" He asked, collecting himself by her feet.

"Uh," she let out an unknowing hum "Here"

The picture she showed was blurry but Luka figured the place. It was a place he liked to visit sometimes, too. He showed her the directions, making sure she knows all the tracks.

"Thank you so much" The girl beamed with happiness in her eyes "Thank you for helping me"

Luka nodded, and the girl turned around to leave in the direction he just showed her. Luka contemplated for a second before asking a question just as she was about to leave "Can I know your name, at least?"

Hope in his eyes, he stared at her for a full moment until she broke the silence. "We only just met. Besides, where's the fun in that?" Sending him one last wink goodbye, she disappeared into the streets of Paris.

Juleka wasn't a person one could easily talk to. Except for Luka. Luka knew his sister was quite an introvert and a rather shy soul. He respected it and grew to watch over her, protecting her privacy with others. But with him, she was sometimes an extremely cheerful and bubbly person. Hell, there were moments he wished she could stop talking!

So when the two of them collaborated in decorating the harbor for their friends, they finished rather quickly. In under 2 hours, the duo managed to make the best party ship anyone has ever seen.

"Alya is bringing a friend," Luka said as he and Juleka tried to put the last fairy lights around.

"Really? Who?"

"An old friend who just moved here. Y/n as I recall."

Juleka nodded, trying to remember the name "Oh yes, Y/n. Alya told us about her. I'm glad to finally meet her."

Soon enough, the guests started to gather and their home was erupting from chit chats and music. Luka talked to everybody, getting lost in the crowd. His mind always found its way back to the silhouette of the lost girl from the park. There was something he couldn't get enough of in her...

"Luka, could you play us something?" asked Marinette to what Luka only nodded, heading to his room for the guitar.

"Alya is here!" Rose exclaimed when she noticed her friend at the entrance. Next to her stood a girl, a girl Alya has told them almost everything about.

"Hi, guys! This is Y/n" everybody welcomed them, all eyes prying on the newbie.

Marinette came closer and hugged her "I'm Marinette" she addressed as she offered her a soft smile "I've heard so much about you!"

"I could say the same" Y/n returned the sweet gesture.

"What took you so long?" Nino asked looking at his watch and then back at them.

"My bad. I got kind of lost."

The moment Luka stepped on the ship, the last thing he expects to see was the girl he couldn't stop thinking about. The girl that has been playing in his head all day, since the moment they met. Well, not exactly met.

"You" he blurted without thinking as he set his guitar down.

The pair of orbs he remembered from this morning, looked up at him, as surprised as him. "You" she joked back, not breaking the eye contact.

"You two know each other?" Marinette asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Not really. He helped me find the way this morning" Y/n explained

"And she didn't even tell me her name"

"It's more fun this way, don't you think?"

Luka chuckled offering her a handshake. "I'm Luka"

"Y/n"

The night moved slowly and Luka found himself growing more and more nervous whenever Y/n was around. This can't be! He's always the calm one, the collected one, the untouchable one. No, no. It's just a mire admiration. Nothing much, really. He's as steady as ever...

"Spin the bottle!" Alya shouted out of nowhere

Numbers of confused faces turned to her in a moment. She proceeded, explaining her outburst. "Let's play spin the bottle"

The teens looked around, meeting with other's sights, nodding in agreement. Soon enough, the group was sat on the floor. Upon choosing a seat, Luka looked around. There were 2 left: beside Y/n and opposite of her. He wanted to sit beside her, really. Oh, just how he wanted to sit beside her, their knees touching... But he was so nervous. His palms sweat just for the thought and his heart raced with a speed unknown to man.

So he sat opposite of her.

"Right, so, we are playing spin the bottle combined with truth and dare. A person spins the bottle and they ask "truth or dare?" the one who the bottle has sat on." Alya explained.

Marinette went first, the bottle landing on Y/n. The bluenette smiled softly and asking the question. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth"

"Are you happy to be in Paris?"

"Very!" The two exchanged graceful smiles earning a groan from Nino.

"Where are the fun questions! C'mon dudettes!" he cried obviously disappointed in his friends.

Marinette looked at him in confusion "What do you want me to ask?"

"I don' know, something interesting. Like, describe your perfect type, or something"

Y/n laughed for a second. "Well I don't really have a type but guitarists hold a special place in my heart"

Luka looked at her in surprise but wasn't met with her gaze. That was it. He'll lose his mind because of this girl and there's no turning back. He'll be defeated, if only he wasn't already.

Y/n grew to be a great addition to the class and the friend group. And she grew closer to Luka's heart, more close than he liked to admit. When she was around, his mind was rollercoasters, when she was away her melody played in the back of his head. It was exhausting, really. Luka had never acted this way, especially not for a girl. It was all new to him.

It had been almost two months since Y/n's first day in the city of love. Never had she imagined that she would fall so in love with the people, the culture, the capital of France in general. She was standing on her balcony, looking at the most beautiful sightseeing- the Eiffel tower.

"Mom, Dad, I'm leaving, see you later!" she shouted as she closed the front door behind her. Juelka had invited her to help her out with band stuff. She was a bit surprised to say at least for Y/n wasn't much of an intellectual in that field.

The traffic was light and soon enough she stepped foot on the magnificent ship. The boy she already knew very well was strumming his guitar in the corner.

"Nice tune" she whispered, coming behind him

Luka jumped a little, taken aback by her unexpected figure. "Y/n? Why-"

"I invited her, I need some help," said Juleka from the door. "I'll be back in a second" and with that, she disappeared.

Y/n sat on a chair beside him, feeling the tension rise. Luka's melody became more insecure, more unsteady. It felt as if he was trying too hard.

"What happened?"

"I don't know" Luka answered, regretting holding the guitar now. It was true, when she was around, it was not much he could do. His mind always wandered elsewhere.

An uncomfortable silence took over them. Juleka was nowhere in sight. After some minutes of complete dull, Y/n stood up eager to leave. "Tell Juleka I'm sorry, but I just remembered I have to go."

Luka wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He was afraid of blurting out something way more stupid. So he nodded, regretting his decisions. What has she done to him? He can't even think straight, what to do, what not to do. He's a mess and it's all because of her.

"What are you doing you, idiot, go after her!" Juleka stormed out of the ship, scolding her older brother.

"What?"

"Go after her! Tell her how you feel! God!"

"What are you talking about?" Luka played it off dumb

Juleka's anger only grew "Oh please, mister untouchable, you're not so secretive about it. You can never concentrate when she's around, when I mention her, you grow all impatient. You talk about her ALL THE DAMN TIME. I can't listen to you anymore!"

Luka shifted in his spot "I don't talk about her that much"

"You literally stormed in my room last night talking about her humor and how cool she is. Go tell her how you feel, Luka"

He contemplated for a minute making Juleka impatient "Now! Go!"

The blue boy nodded, setting his guitar aside, and running as fast as he could. He ran the way he remembered Y/n to go. His legs could sprint only so fast but somehow he managed to run it all the way through.

Just by the bridge, she saw her walk by herself. It was already getting late, the sun was just around the corner, held by its fingertips to not yet say goodbye. She was looking to the river, calm and alone. "Y/n!" he shouted, putting all the energy he had to pull it through.

"Y/n!" he screamed once more to what the girl turned around. Just as she was about to ask what was happening, Luka panted taking her hand in his the moment he got the chance.

"No, no, I talk." He said taking a deep breath and looking right into her eyes. "Y/n from the moment we met in the park, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You took a tool on me, god, I'm wrapped around your finger! I can't focus when I see you, I lose all my senses when you smile"

Y/n smiled at the ongoing love declaration. "And no matter how hard I tried to cover up my feelings, to forget you, there just is no escape. I am lost, I'm losing my mind. God, what are you doing to me? I rant about you to Juleka, dear Lord. You made a mess out of me, Y/n, and I love, I love, I love you."

And before thinking, Y/n pressed her lips against his. She kissed him long and lovingly, making him melt under her touch.

"That makes the two of us"

#luka x reader miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous marinette #miraculous au #miraculous luka #fanfic #oneshot #luka couffaine x reader #luka couffaine #adrienette #adrien agreste #chat noir #marinette dupen chang #miraculous #miraculous fanfic

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supernatrualqueen · 2 years

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Date night with Peter Parker

@yanderebrahms thank you so much for requesting something it means a lot i hope you enjoy!💖💖 hope this is the right peter 😭😭

Sorry this is kinda long i just wanted to make sure It was good.😁😁🥺

These are the outfits for below😁 you can also change it if you want.

Its been a six months since you and peter made it official. Peter wanted to do something special for your anniversary. He's taking you to the carnival its the best of both worlds Peter says" babe it has fried everything and I can win you a gaint stuffed animal!" Peter said excitedly. "We can go tomorrow, I'll pick you up at eight i have to go, gotta catch the bad guys" Peter hung up and you put your phone down and fist bumped the air you've always wanted someone to win you a jumbo stuffed animal and you can't wait to beat peter at all the carnival games. You took a quick shower and went to bed.

The next day

The time is currently 6 pm and you are in the mist of picking out an outfit for your carnival date in 2 hours. Your looking for something that will complement your beautiful mixed skin but also show off your fabulous curves. Your opinions are( the two outfits at the top) you go with the white shorts with black stripes and a matching top, since its mostly likely gonna get hot. You take a shower get all fancy shamcy put on your outfit and currently checking yourself out in the mirror.( you look stunning) You hear a knock at your door and it Peter. "Wow you look, You look beautiful" Peter says with a stutter. "Thank you, same too you, i mean you look handsome" you said nervously. You grab your purse and head out while locking the door behind you.

You and peter decided to walk to the carnival since it wasnt that far of a walk. It was a nice walk, the cool bree washed over your face and the sunset made you look like a literal goddess. While you were walking you looked at peter and he was starting at you" do i have something on my face" you said while wiping your cheek. Peter held both of your hands and looked you in your eyes. You look so magical right now i dont even know how to describe it besides the word goddess and trust me i have met a god." Peter said with a soft smile. You could tell he means every word he has the this look in eyes. It just shows you how much he cares for you.

You make it to the carnival and immediately peter sees fried oreos and grabs your hand and pulls you to the stand" can we get two red velvet oreos please." " This taste amazing" you say while smiling. After you too head towards all the games. You beat Peter 4 to 3 in the basketball ball game. Now you and Peter spend the next couple hours playing games like : Balloon pop, bobbing for apples, gone fishing and water balloon pop. For the last game peter was determined to win you a gaint stuffed animal. Unfortunately the final game was ring toss. Peter was done to the final two rings all he had to do is to get one of them on a bottle and he can get the gaint dino you been looking at all day. He tossed the first one it was close but it hit and slid down onto the floor. Its down to the final ring he tosses and it lands directly on the bottle." Yes I got it and i get the Dinosaur please" Peter shouts and hugs you. The man at the ring toss stand takes down the gaint dinosaur and gives it to you." Thank you how did you know in wanted the dino" you say as peter gives the dinosaur." "You been glacing at it all day And I just wanted to make this day special for you like it is for me because I love you and I've waited months to tell you this." "Peter I don't know what to say" you said while tears ghosted your waterline. " I love you too peter and any day i spend with you is a special day." Peter hugs you and you two walk back to your house. At the door step you unlock the door but don't go in yet. "Thank you for tonight Peter, I had a blast" you say after you kiss him on his cheek. " Me too I cant wait to do this again maybe next time we can go to an arcade!" Peter says with joy. He wishes you good night and goes home.

THE END

A/N: this is my first request!!! Yay🥺💖💖 thank youuuu. Reblogs, comments and feedback are welcomed and wanted 💖💖💖💖💙💙 Request are open too!💙💙💖

#peter parker #peter parker x platonic!reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x mixed reader #peter parker x chubby reader #peter parker x plus size reader #peterparkerSPNQ

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peroxideprinces · 2 years

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rank every p!atd song.

okokok >:]

s tier (10/10, 9/10) - all of afycso + pretty . odd; all the boys; far too young to die; collar full; kaleidoscope eyes; casual affair

fever n po r some of ryan ross's best work , along w what he did w the young veins . i cant say im in love w all of his solo work but the lyrics arent as bad as pftw . the songs off too weird r wonderful ! all the boys is so fun to listen to , same w collar full . while i will say that i enjoy the brobecks vers of far too young to die Much more than the p!atd vers , the lyrics still fuck . all of the vices demos r pretty good , but kaleidoscope eyes is somethin else ... casual affair slaps godbless

a tier (8/10) - can't fight against the youth; house of memories; la devotee; always; the ballad of mona lisa; nearly witches; new perspective; it's almost halloween; mercenary; the calendar; trade mistakes; the rest of the vices bonus tracks; golden days

can't fight against the youth id say is jus a bit worse then all the boys , or at least i like it less . house of memories , golden days , n la devotee r probably the best songs off of dob in terms of lyrics id say . impossible year isnt bad, but it isnt as good as these three . the calendar n trade mistakes dont get enough love , vices doesnt get enough love in general , but they r so so good ! the bonus tracks especially r the best part of the album (turn of the lights my beloved <333 also love that pete wentz ghostwrite) ! the demo lyrics of nearly witches r a lot more fun then what we got , but i dont necessarily hate it ! i do wish we got the cabin album though </3 mercenary is such a fun song ! it does get a tad repetitive , but who cares bc it fucks ! new perspective is jus generally a good song id say . its almost halloween probably doesnt deserve this spot , but god do i love it dearly .

b tier (7/10) - girl that you love; crazy = genius; impossible year; death of a bachelor; this is gospel; hurricane; get me out of my mind; don't threaten me with a good time;

girl that you love isnt really special , but it has some banger lines in it that punched me in the fuckin gut ! crazy = genius n dont threaten me with a good time r both songs that r fun to listen to , but they kinda do nothin ? like , theyre there , but they arent really important . impossible year has some good lines as well but i dont like the sound of the song , nor do i like how br*ndon sounds . this is gospel , get me out of my mind , n death of a bachelor r all songs that exist ! ready to go gets annoyin at some point but its an overall fine song , this is gospel has a few things goin for it , n death of a bachelor is an alright song . borin tier tbh

c tier (6/10, 5/10) - sarah smiles; let's kill tonight; nicotine; girls/girls/boys; the end of all things; the good, the bad, and the dirty

sarah smiles is a song . the end of all things is a song . bc i dont like that One Guy nor his wife i dont like to listen to them , but they arent the worst songs ever . would skip them every time though . let's kill tonight gets repetitive really quickly n it gets hard to listen to multiple times . nicotine is fine , it jus never really meant much to me . girls/girls/boys does absolutely nothin for me n i could not care less ab it , but i dont hate it ! im glad it exists ig ? i jus dont really like how that One Guy handled it though. the good, the bad, and the dirty is also nothin special but it doesnt suck so i guess it goes here .

d tier (4/10, 3/10) - memories; the overpass; roaring 20s; miss jackson; victorious

memories is such a bad song i dont care . i cannot stand it n i legitimately cant describe why . it makes me feel an indescribable emotion that i fuckin hate . the overpass n roaring 20s have nothin to offer but r the best songs off of pftw , so i guess they can be a tier higher . miss jackson is kinda borin n vaguely sexist , though id be lyin if i said it wasnt fun . i jus dont think i can put it any higher than d . victorious as a song jus rubbed me the wrong way n i cant shake that feelin , so d tier .

f tier (2/10, 1/10) - hallelujah; every other pftw song

hallelujah is jus borin . like ig it isnt bad i jus cant stand it at all . f tier . pftw is such a shitty album , at least for panic standards ! bc how did we go from lines like "i know the world's a broken bone // but melt your headaches call it home" to fuckin "don't call me saint california if you're at another altar" . how did we go from "i've never so adored you // i'm twisting allegories now // i want to complicate you // don't let me do this to myself" to "it's just cherries, cherries // everything is cherries on top" . pftw doesnt make me feel despair it makes me so fuckin mad . pftw is a solo album n doesnt deserve to be compared to twtltrtd . its obvious that this album was jus for money n i hate it sincerely .

what the fuck tier (0/10) - high hopes; hey look ma, i made it

they suck <3 theres a line in high hopes that . holy shit . you cant say that n expect people to be COMPLETELY OKAY WITH IT ? hey look ma, i made it is genuinely so annoying to listen to . in fact , both of them are . i'd rather listen to fucking anything else . these songs were a mistake <3

#these r jus my opinions but i feel v strongly ab them DFSJKDLKSF #bc you cant compare pftw to fever or too weird . dont even try .#pftw makes me so irrationally mad #tommy talks trash

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ntamain · 3 years

Photo

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

#this is for sure already on tumble #but it's so cute #I had to #mine #r/relationships #tw// ed #edit: I'll add a transcript in a minute just gotta figure out how to make it accessible

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staylavendertea · 3 years

Text

music, ya know

this is a complete impulse of lying in bed middle of the night thoughts that i don’t even know if anyone’s gonna see that have been stemmed off the experiences of the past couple days, topic of 1:41 am mind boggle:

music and it’s aesthetic and importance in literal every sense cause it’s just that important to me

first experience of realizing this, i’ve always loved film scores and listening to music and the orchestral pieces from movies and shows, but it really seemed to hit me recently, like the fact that this week’s new LOKI episode, no spoilers, has the most badass score and a badass scene with such a perfect mix and musical atmosphere. i literally had one of my best friends over, who has a very small interest in comics, cinema, marvel in general, especially a show about a norse comic god that they know nothing about, and whilst they sat there for my own regard, watching the show like a normal human being would, i sat there clinching their hand, watching in awe as our music is louder than actors talking tv speakers spurted out the most spine tightening world building story and just wandered “jesus that was good” and whilst i will always think about the superior acting, cgi, the amount of different people that just went into those few scenes and like what was physical set and what was computer image and what the hell did i just watch that has my brain running olympic marathon circles right now?

the thought that said brain kept going back to was that fucking score. it was literally tearing apart of every corner of my head and why was it doing that?

second experience, another marvel one, but i digress. black widow (no spoilers i promise), thursday night, movie theater for the first time in i can’t even remember how long now and we set through so many previews just for fucking boss baby to start playing and the reaction of the theater to make me burst out laughing.

however whatever works in that little projection box, gets fixed and the movie is pushed to just a little before it starts, a nice small pepsi ad, the regal rollercoaster intro (if you go to regal movie theaters ya know what i’m talking about), and then i hear it - the marvel studios logo - something so musically engraved into my head that my ass that can’t sing for anything, can harmonize with the sound and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up around movie theater surround sound. but i can’t think of that now, i’m here to watch black widow, a movie on hiatus with the rest of the world for so long now, a character i didn’t know much about it or truly, didn’t have the most connection with in the first place. yet through that one movie, i seemed to build one of those.

ofc though scarlett johansson’s beautiful acting and world building, but it isn’t until the end of the movie that i even realize why. it was the fucking score again. when i think about it, the beginning of the movie felt like all of black widows scenes in the avengers movies for me, kinda just, there. not really emotionally tugging, not bad ofc either, but just, there. in the present, watching something cool in motion. but then it hits, what i can only describe as a theme that somehow tells the entire black widow movie in one singular composition. something so badass, story telling, but also just singularly black widow-esk. i can tell you that i walked out the movie theater rambling about the composition and looking up composers.

third experience, the most recent as it was literally like 20 minutes ago and sprung one train rail of a thought process that immediately tugged me into typing this brain vomit into a tumblr post. i have playlists. for everything. and when i say everything, i fucking mean everything. i’m a writer and a reader, i have playlists mostly for the young avengers, my most utter comfort characters, and their stories i’m writing. i also have playlists/genre/specific song for about every book i read.

when i read red white and royal blue when that came out, i noticed i listened to one of the drunks by panic at the disco the entirety of the ending of the book and the words and music fit together like puzzle pieces, not only did it make the reading experience better, but i was so fucking emerged in my over hyper-imagitive brain that when i finally actually finished the book, i still never left. rewind present day to the beginning of this past june, one last stop comes out, ofc i get it the day it comes out with my anticipation building like wildfire. i start reading that night and i put on my recents on my liked songs playlist (true to true spotify user) and i slowly over the next day as i read and finish the book, windle down to the genre, then the band, to the album, to the exact song that feels like the carbon copy of the words i’m reading. that song was only ones who know by the arctic monkeys. now go back to this past week, anyone who reads the carry on series knows, anyway the wind blows came out this past tuesday. i waited till wednesday to buy the ✨pretty special addition barnes and nobles copy✨ so that the dear friend that indulged me by watching loki that same day could buy it at the same time and make a cute book date or whateva. i started reading that night and something just felt ,,, off. i didn’t know what it was, but i was living off the pure joy that simon and co give me so i ignored the feeling. until i realized why it felt off this morning. i wasn’t listening to any fucking music, literally nothing, not even queen. motherfucking. queen.

i looked for the snowbaz playlist i made when i read carry on for the first time back in 2016/2017 when i was still a freshman in high school just to remember i deleted that literally forever ago. so i made a new one. like an hour and a half ago. very inspired on how i made the playlists for the young avengers and all their stories. letting the music talk.

the fact that all these rambling thoughts have led to this conclusion makes my head hurt, but for me at least in my own experiences. music talks. a two way conversation. a radio broadcast, turning the peg until you match the same frequency thats being put out and you can hear it and understand it. it’s like when you see comedians on stages or actors on panels, they talk, you have reactions, you talk back, and so forth the loop continues until the last voice, last note, rings out. music and songs and orchestral pieces and bands and composers and lyric writers are telling you the stories in reverse. they don’t know their doing it, obviously they meant something entirely different in their creations, but it’s like literature and any work of words and storytelling. interpretation. to me, the notes, pianos, violins, guitars, drums, singers, cellos, and anything that can make sound you can think of, is telling you something. whispering in your ear as you watch or read. facial features, emotions the characters dont say out loud, outfits, they way their standing or talking or moving or interacting with anything and everything.

when i just made that carry on playlist, i played it, decided to try read some good almost 2 am fan fic as you do, my hanging on by a thread sleep brain telling me words aren’t recognizable right now, and tighten myself into a blanket to see if i can sleep at all. the playlist still plays and my never shuts up head thinks it’s own daydreams, stresses out about anything it can, that is until the song plays. the one that just speaks the carry on trilogy language. the one that i found whilst i was reading wayward son and then would play whenever i re read carry on. the one that started this whole way too long ass post in the first place. cant be alone tonight by atlas. i heard just the first sound and i saw them, as if i were in the same room, like i never even put the book down in the first damn place because i’m actually terrified of finishing it. i could see simon in his oversized hoodies, baz in an outfit that was way too good just to be sitting inside, agatha looking as pleasantly pretty as ever, penelope poking fun at shepherd, and shepherd poking fun right back; bickering, laughing, saying the dialogues i try to remember so i can write them later, existing.

in a way music doesn’t just talk, but it lives. it lives and breaths. a three way conversation you could say. characters, stories, plot, and settings talk to the music, then the music delivers us listeners the message, so that we can send one back. this literally took me over an hour to write and i should point the important note that i do have synesthesia where colors and sounds and colors and words do the association so this entire thing might be me being entirely biased, but alas, i love sound so much and if there is anyone else that feels the same ways as i do as just a simple good film score and song makes anything ten times better, feel free to talk, i will totally be awkward, but i need some music freaks like myself around so feel free to hit me up, also if you love movies and cinema also feel free to hit me up as i need movie buddies and now it’s 3 am and i will be going to bed - peace out 🛸

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thequeenb · 4 years

Note

Hi! I've read all of your fics and you're really good at this... 😍😍😍 I dunno if you could but.. your fic about Priya and Kamilah in a poly relationship with MC, it would be nice if you could make a sequel of that.. like you know they're both proud and stubborn women.. I would like to see them try to one up each other to get MC's attention? 😂😂 That would be hilarious considering... Well it's Priya and Kamilah... Please?

I am writing this after so long anon my apologies lol

Pairings Kamilah x MC

It has been a month since Priya and Kamilah realized that they both desired Amy. Priya seemed to never be late to the council meetings. Sometimes she would even arrive earlier just so she could see Amy and chat before the meetings started.

Kamilah on the other hand made sure no one was around and grabbed those opportunities to arrange dates with Amy. She would usually invite her to her office.

Amy was on the phone with a client arranging a meeting but her thoughts were on the stunning women craving for her attention.

For Kamilah she was always a secret, a fling. Priya on the other hand never hesitated to flirt with her publicly, call her names and focus completely on her. And of course Amy didn't knew what turned her on more.

"Ugh i cant choose" she whispered completely forgetting she was in a middle of a serious conversation

"Excuse me?" the man on the other line said offended

"I said i will make sure Adrian will see you tomorrow!"

She cursed herself hanging up getting lost in her world again before Kamilah exited Adrian's office. She walked so gracefully. Her heels clicked in sync as she approached her desk

"God just step on me" Amy breathed out grabbing some papers pretending to be busy

"Amy" Kamilah said with her steady sexy voice.

"Oh hey Kamilah" she said writing pointless words just so she won't have to look at those beautiful caramel eyes.

"I was wondering--"

"Oh thats very tempting but you see i am very busy" Amy managed to say almost breathless at Kamilah's sight

Kamilah lifted one of her eyebrows scanning the paper Amy was holding almost laughing out loud

"Ah! I see, may i take a look on what you are working on?"

Amy swallowed, her eyes betraying her. Kamilah had her hand extended waiting patiently for her to give her the paper. Embarrassed she did so eyeing Kamilah's expressions carefully

"I didn't knew your work included a VIP invitation to Priya's show" she said turning around leaving without another word

Good job Amy she said under her breath watching Kamilah exiting the building. She couldn't choose who to give in to. Kamilah constantly invite her to her office and penthouse, taking out on luxurious dates and restaurants. Priya on the other hand always treated her special. Inviting her to her shows, sending her Lacroix dresses to wear, shower her with jewellery.

She sighed focusing on her working trying not to think about it much for now.

___

The weekend arrived and Amy accepted Priya's invitation to her show. As always a limousine picked her up, a bodyguard led her to the VIP lounge and her favourite drink was waiting for her on the table, next to Priya.

Making her way to the lounge Amy scanned the woman Infront of her from head to toe. She was wearing a stunning black revealing dress. A delightful smile spread across Priya's lips when she notices Amy walking to her direction.

"Darling! How wonderful to see you" she purred against her face as she was kissing both of her cheeks.

"Hey, what a wonderful show" Amy said gesturing at the stage above them full with models representing all the stunning Lacroix dresses

"I like this view better" Priya said placing her hand on her bared lap, the grip was possessive and it goes without saying that Priya never likes sharing

Before they could start chatting Kamilah emerged to the Lounge interrupting them. Amy looked shocked noticing the jealousy on Kamilah's eyes

"Grandma. I don't think I invite you did i?" Priya rolls her eyes annoyed

"Oh i couldn't lose this..show" she said sitting on the left side. Amy was now between the two women who made it so hard to choose.

She took a deep breath trying to even her breath but then Kamilah put a finger under her chin making her meet her eyes and her heart started beating like a drum.

"I thought you had high standards Amy" Kamilah said smirking

Priya gripped at her lap more tightly making Amy squirm "And i thought you dont like old hags" she said smiling sharply

Amy felt all the air on her lungs abandoning her. The thought of these two women fighting for her attention was turning her on in a way she couldn't describe.

She took her glass and downed her whiskey immediately knowing its going to be a long night.

"In all seriousness why do you prefer an immature show off?" Kamilah said making Amy's cheeks pink

"Because i know how to make her scream my name" Priya says chuckling softly

"Oh please, she is in my office every night" Kamilah says clearly annoyed by the thought of Amy being intimate with another woman especially her enemy.

"Then how does she end up every morning on my sheets?" Priya now bared her fangs as a warning as Kamilah's eyes turned crimson red

Amy glanced between both women clearly lost. She knew she had to choose but this situation was so amusing and one in a lifetime.

"Both of you stop, i am not a trophy for any of you to win"

Kamilah cleared her throat as Priya sat down on the couch thoughtful. Without another word she exited the lounge leaving the two women behind confused

"Great look what you did" Priya said sighing

"Oh me? If you didn't--"

"Oh please did you see the way--"

"You didn't let room for her to breathe"

"You disrespected her when you-"

"Ughhh i had enough!!" Kamilah said standing up leaving as well.

___

The next morning Amy was usually working when she saw a boy approaching with a large bouquet of flowers.

"Are you Amy Parker?" He said holding out a clipboard

Amy nodded as she signed the paper watching the boy leaving. She sat on her chair smelling the beautiful red roses she held on her hands. She took the card reading

I am sorry for last night. I should have known grandma would get jealous and follow you. Come to my mansion tonight and i will show you how sorry i am

Yours, Priya xoxo

Amy smiled thinking the ways Priya will show how sorry she is. But before she could finish her thoughts another boy with flowers approached

"Yes i am Amy Parker thank you" she said holding a bouquet with unique flowers. She chuckled knowing already it was Kamilah's taste. Without wasting a minute she read the card

I will come pick you up after work. I want to apologize to you for my behaviour last night. I just wanted to protect you

Kamilah♡

She smiled at Kamilah's effort to draw a heart beside her name. Sighing she sat back on her chair looking at the two bouquets thoughtfully. On one hand there was Priya a woman full of passion that made Amy's adrenaline level high whenever they saw eachother. But there is also Kamilah. A mystery that cant be solved by just anyone. There was something about her trying to give Amy this opportunity that made her heart skip a beat

And thats when the realisation hit her. Priya is just a desire that she has, an attraction. Kamilah is so much more than that. She radiates safety, devotion.

Without another thought she dealt Kamilah's number smiling

"Hey you, isyour proposition still available? I am getting off at 11pm"

"I will be there" Kamilah said from the other line and Amy could hear on the tone of her voice that she was smiling

Hanging up she ran her fingers with delicate soft moves on Priya's bouquet one last time before throwing it on a near by bin. Because she knew well that we should never throw something we love for something we like.

#kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #bb kamilah #bloodbound #bb fic #bb fanfic #choices fanfiction #choices fic #choices kamilah #pb choices #choices #priya lacroix #priya x mc

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diefouryou · 3 years

Text

one

I'm findin' ways to articulate The feeling I'm goin' through I just can't say I don't love you 'Cause I love you, yeah

I could never and will never be able to find the exact words that can describe exactly how I feel about you. I have never felt love for anything or anyone like this before. From the first hello, I knew that I would come to love everything about you, I knew I would never be able to say that I don't love you.

It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold But tonight I'm gon' let you know Let me tell the truth Baby, let me tell the truth, yeah

Sometimes it can be really hard for me to express the way that i’m feeling, good or bad. But I never want you to forget the truth, the truth is that no matter what is going on in either of our lives, the infatuation for you is always there, that never disappears and it never will.

You know what I'm thinkin' See it in your eyes You hate that you want me Hate it when you cry You're scared to be lonely 'Specially in the night I'm scared that I'll miss you Happens every time I don't want this feelin' I can't afford love I try to find reason to pull us apart It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect And I know that you're worth it I can't walk away, oh!

Being with you makes me so happy, but sometimes we have days where bad things can happen, that can cause stress and anxiety for us both. Although we always pull through these situations together, they can cause us to be sad in the meantime. Seeing you upset makes my heart break, from your hair not curling right to big problems that are hard to fix - I am with you no matter what and will help you through anything.

Being apart from you is the hardest thing that I ever have to do, sleeping on my own is so difficult. I cant wait until the day that we always come home to eachother.

Even though we're going through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind, 'cause baby I would die for you Baby I would die for you, yeah

We go through some really tough times, and sometimes we can forget how much we mean to eachother. But I would do anything for you, id die for you, id kill for you.

Sometimes distance can be an issue, when we’re both at work or have other things to do it can get really hard, but we always find a way to get through it and look forward to the next time we see eachother. I’d never let anything get in the way of us because you are my whole world and more.

I love you.

#song1 #dieforyou

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spiritcc · 3 years

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Give me that spicy n'sync lore drop. 👀

aight i said i was serious about my 90s boyband opinions, which is maybe unnecessary as it is evident that nsync nSUCKS

now what is this! you may say, is this how you frame an academically-supported objective opinion, to which i say FUCKNIG WELCOME TO THE 90S, we OBJECTIFY sleazy underage boys, we have AWFUL takes, there will be NO objectivity here, it is year 1999 and i am rebekah at your high school canteen and we are about to throw hands!!

let me frame it all with the fact that backstreet boys, bsb for short, are on the contrary god-shaped. the pinnacle of boyband quality. my life was unironically changed forever when i watched backstreet’s back mv, followed by larger than life. it was lifechanging, among many reasons, because it actually made me feel something, when i suddenly realised that i’ve seen nsync’s two vids years before bsb and walked away taking absolutely nothing with me. this bitch empty!!! yeet!!!!!

obviously the funny nsync lore drop everybody knows about is that them and bsb were literally under the same management. like literally under the same company, with the same composers and everything, the infamous rivalry was just happening between their rabid fans. their establishing producer was a big fucking scamming bitch, there was a story very familiar to all kpop enjoyers that he kept claiming that at least for nsync their earnings were still not enough to cover the costs of their training and shit and they were kept enslaved until they actually looked at their contracts properly and realised how bad they were. both bsb and nsync got their money and freedom, the scammy bitch went to jail bc his schemes went way beyond the pop scene, after which i think nsync exploded and bsb was kept afloat somewhat due to existing momentum. aka since 2000 nsync released bye bye bye, which was apparently meant as a fuck you to their scammy manager, followed by it’s gonna be me - both their staple songs, while bsb’s most iconic shit already occurred by then and kept them strong despite yea,,,, no giant hits following. why im mentioning all this is that after the change nsync somewhat got their own sound anD IT’S SO BAD LMAO

i think there are basically three stages of nsync’s sound: their european origins (and lots of techno as a result), their second hand status next to bsb, and their own style. compared to bsb, their own sound to me was empty as SHIT!!!! i dont know how to describe it im not a musical critic, but listening to nsync before bsb just put an ironic smirk on my face, like ha these were sure the funny 90s! empty-headed pop, frosted tips, cheezy clips, all the shit. bsb blew me the fuck away because despite their own fantastic awfulness in places, there was something that made me Feel. i dont know what it is or how, even with their generic BELIEB IN URSELF BABE XOXO songs that get forgotten the second they play, i still believed them because it felt to me like they know exactly what they are singing about. there was something extremely sincere about their generic statements, supported by what are probably very hard experiences in their lives. with nsync it’s just all empty pop. with all due hatred to j*stin t*mberlake, he did say he felt like some of his band members did not feel serious about music like he did and i can very much understand this statement, they sang just to sing and it always showed. with a comparative point now i simply do not buy them.

their old shit is of course, hilarious, this is the only mv i want yall to see of nsync and remember them like this

youtube

cackling i thought that hey, the song is pretty different from their usual style, it’s pleasant even! and what do you know, the song is a bsb reject, was given to the younger sibling instead.

yes i do not like nsync but i do my dues and listen to their shit, and i very much do have an unironic favorite. a song that i genuinely, sincerely enjoy:

youtube

and it is a bsb reject :))

and this :)) is what i feel everytime i go back to listen to these songs again, because the only songs of nsync that i genuinely like were all meant for the better band and it fuckign shows. can you imagine lmao

so why do i like this song? still their early days, a good bsb feel sure, a gr9 mv in my opinion, but there is just something,,,,,,so nice about the atmosphere of it all. the boys all look sincere, the mv captures their simplicity and sicc moves (no secret here nsync were always the better dancers than bsb), they all looks so passionate about being on screen. i just watch it, listen to the song and get that yearning feeling for the days when like,,,,,can you imagine saying that,,,, there were real boybands and real pop. this is how it feels to me, there’s just something so special and simple about it that it feels almost genius. i cant even imagine bsb singing this anymore, they would not top jc’s voice here. but what i like the most about this song and clip is that it gave attention to all members, and this is where my biggest issue with nsync starts

with the no strings attached album, or what is their “new” sound, it all became jc, justin, and three backup dancers, and it is driving me fucking INSANE. since j*stin retrospectively already buried himself and we all hate him now, it already sickens me to look at this bitch who already at the age of like what?? 17??? became an opportunistic bloodsucker who was quick to drop the band, PR himself through poor britney and then fucking walk over her dead body just to stay relevant. absolutely sickening, like genuinely disgusting how every single piece of information i ever knew about him was basically his attempt to build his career while sacrificing others. all you see under nsync’s vids is cries of how jc was supposed to make it instead, not only is his voice not this fucking obnoxious, but he is genuinely a nicer person, AND allegations have it that timberlake indirectly killed his career too! after the superbowl incident, jc was supposed to perform at the next one with his tbh sleazy oversexual songs, but got removed since the organisers feared another backlash after justin. so this bitch even managed to kill his own band member!!

i cant even watch bye bye bye as it switches to them dancing and all members wear black but justin, a little fucking king among his peasants, the only breakout star we need to look at, fuck you. that fucking pigeon nodding he always does as well fuck youuuuu. sure in bsb it’s mostly three people singing while kevin and howie are like, Contributing, but 3v2 plus how all the members are given attention and that no, they do all sing and it’s not a rare occurrence, is simply not to be compared with 2v3 and total obscurity that is happening in nsync. nsync were meant to be an a capella band, did you fucking know that, where you can hear why lance’s bass (hehe) is what keeps their sound alive, but the total dirty ass that was done to chris and joey is absolutely palpable. chris is a fucking countertenor and if their early songs were not an indication of that, his lead in a lion sleeps tonight should be a good enough of an awakening. not even mentioning i thought she knew where both him and joey show that they were fucking MILES ahead of j*stin and for what??? to be turned into backup dancers?? to spark thousands of surprised comments at their talent, with people sayng they thought these two were just lucky to be in the band like talentless background noise that they are???? what the fuck????? and their more or less final single GONE is the fattest full stop @ this embarrassment, where since justin wrote the song for michael jackson but it didnt make it into the album, he decided to give to nsync aka sing the entire song himself while the rest four get to utter GONE 4 times in the chorus?????? as the comments say, nsync was sure fucking GONE after this song and in more ways than one and i fucking hate it the most that why even have a band if 1.5 people is what you actually cared about.

did you know that bsb never disbanded? they are still very much together and active, they had their personal hardships, but they are brothers to each other and for nick especially they are more of a family to him than the toxic nightmare that is his actual one. they even released a new album in 2018 and their new songs, albeit written by sh*wn mendes, are actually pretty decent. like i wouldnt listen to them casually, not my type still, lyrics still cringe bc mendes, but there is still quality, and all members are clearly experienced performers by now, and they are still passionate and strong together. something that nsync is clearly not, and the fact that backstreet has stuck together for longer than most marriages in hollywood can maybe be the finishing testament to why they are superior, and as i have mentioned many times, sincere. i guess just look at the simple numbers that are their youtube views, where >900m on i want it that way alone is more than the views of all nsync’s clips combined. nsync were the big thing at the time, but as that time passed, it became clear which band has left the biggest impact.

#you thought i was joking about my intent to express hot opinions??????#@ me to receive a detailed analysis on why backstreet are cool as fuck

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youarejesting · 4 years

Text

Femme: 40

[MASTERLIST]

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader, GDragon x Bigbang

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Pregnancy, Alcohol Consumption (drink responsibly), mentions making love, cumplay (not really), birth, tasting breast milk, emotions and more that I cant think of.

Length: 5.8k words

Announcement: This is dedicated to the Sherlock holmes anon who guessed the dad debate correct. It was Yoongi. Autocorrects may occur and other errors just let me know if there is anything majorly wrong.

Recap: Back from America. You and the boys have to deal with sickness as the last of winter turns to spring. You are finally able to go back to work, however, you find out you are pregnant. The doctor is running the DNA test who is the father.

The boys joined you one by one, each taking boxes and sorting through them, you helped to carry a rubbish bag for anything they were finally ready to part with. You organised so much stuff, and could finally see the crisp cream walls and grey marble tiles.

“We finally can have a computer room for our games?” Taehyung wiggles excitedly bumping fists with Jungkook who was wearing a pair of rabbit ears. “Or a new dance studio” Jimin grinned at Hoseok who made a cheerful noise while he was buried under a pile of little bags.

“Actually I was wondering if perhaps I could have this room” You spoke quietly folding an old shirt of Jin’s. “What why?” Namjoon was quite alarmed, “did we do something wrong?”

“No it is not that, I just want to make something special in this room. A surprise” they nodded some did so reluctantly. You got the key to the room. And ushered them out so you could start planning.

Over the next few weeks, Jiyong and Moon Inshik helped paint and they snuck in furniture while the boys were out. Jiyong was designing the whole thing. Describing your dream nursery with sketches and the colour scheme was white, grey and peach. Later moving on to clothing and designs preferring no pictures or words on the clothes. The baby clothes colour scheme was peach and yellow.

“You think the baby will be a girl?” “I think the baby would look cute in pink and yellow” “Have you heard back from the doctor about the DNA test?”

“Uh yeah yesterday I received the letter, I just wanted to make it special, I don’t know whether to tell him first or if it should be a group thing?” “Whatever feels right” he leaned down to your belly, his hands were cold and fingers thin, his daughter followed his actions touching your stomach as well and whispered to your baby giggling. “Uncle Jiyong is going to spoil you rotten”

“I don’t think you could if you tried”

Yoongi was in his studio returning home in a formal suit, he had met with a client and it seemed the meeting had gone really well; by the way, he didn’t shuffle and drop his bag but was actually humming. Knocking politely before opening the door he grinned “y/n? come in kitten”

The studio was brightly lit, which seemed odd, and his lips were pulled up in a smile. He looked content just satisfied with his day. You walked over slowly, he looked too happy, you were now having second thoughts. Maybe you shouldn’t tell them who the father is and just say we are pregnant to all the boys. “How was your day?”

“Really good, those boys are hectic, but they liked the song and I got a good percentage of its profits. And there will be more if I help them with the rest of their album. They actually invited us all to dinner tonight so, would you like to come”

He was so chatty and bubbly you hoped this didn’t ruin it, he kept trying to pull you forward and you were subtly avoiding him. Touching things on his desk and cleaning up a few papers. His sweater paws laid on the arms of his desk chair no longer grabbing for you.

“Why are you avoiding me, did I do something wrong?” His smile faded and you wanted to hit yourself for being the reason. “No, you are perfect Yoongi,” Not looking at him, the guilt of ruining his happiness set in. “Did you do something wrong, did you break something?”

“Yoongi, I have something to tell you and it’s important” he licked his pretty pink lips in anticipation. Standing with a sigh he ran his hand down his face, loosening his tie and removing his jacket. The sight stirring you, you liked watching Yoongi undress. He walked you to the couch, where he held your hand and waited patiently.

“Tell me” his voice was low and serious offering you a moment. “It’s good news well I think so, but I am worried how you will feel”

Searching your face for the answer, your hands were shaking as you pulled the opened letter from your pocket and you handed it to him.

Opening the paper he began reading, he was quiet for a long time frowning “what does it mean? the DNA results confirm with ninety-nine point eight percent accuracy that Min Yoongi is determined as the biological father”

He looked up to see you crying. “I’m not your great great great granddad or something am I, we aren’t even from the same country” “No idiot” Laughing through misty eyes you pulled out the ultrasound photo and sniffled “This is our baby, Yoongi. You're going to be a dad”

Lunging into your arms he pulled back alarmed touching your belly to make sure he hadn’t hurt the precious bean inside. He wasted no time kissing your lips, face and neck. Laughing even though he was crying, he held you to his chest. “My kitten we are having a baby”

The afternoon was spent cuddling in his bedroom. He rubbed your tummy humming quietly, it was a soft tune that you had never heard before and he looked so content. Stirring only occasionally to ask you questions, “How long has it been?”

“Well I found out when I was about nine weeks, and I technically didn’t want anyone to know until after sixteen weeks, but currently I am twelve weeks which is three months. I’m not showing just yet, but, will you still love me when I get fat?” “I want to see you big with my baby inside of you” he grinned leisurely tracing his fingers around your belly button.

Deciding to show Yoongi the nursery, the two of you agreed to keep it a secret until sixteen weeks. Just in case anything went wrong. Yoongi stepped inside and you showed him the crib, little toys, blankets and a few outfits. “There’s a little rocking chair for when I am nursing the baby, everything is themed peach and yellow because I don’t want my baby limited to ‘girl colours’ or ‘boy colours’. I just want them to be clean, happy, healthy and look cute like their dad”

“It’s beautiful” he smiled sitting in the white rocking chair and humming the tune again. “What are you humming?” “Ah, nothing just something my mum used to sing to me” he rubbed his neck sheepishly pulling you onto his lap rocking you both as he hummed.

You were so peaceful you didn’t hear someone come home. Not even when they stepped into the room. “Wah these boots are so little and cute,” Namjoon was holding the tiny boots up to his face, eyes wide marvelling at how they sat on the palm of his hand.

“Ah, Namjoon!” “Are we having a baby?” He asked glassy eyes meeting yours. You could only nod before he pulled you into a hug “Is Yoongi the father?” “We are all the fathers, I can’t do it on my own, I have no idea how to raise a child, but biologically yes”

“Congratulations, we should celebrate wait till the boys find out,” grabbing Namjoon’s arm before he ran off. “Joonie no, we have to wait until sixteen weeks, because before that it seems too early what if something happens and the maknaes get sad because of it,” he nodded getting serious.

“Okay I won’t tell anyone” he raised his hand to his heart to swear it to you. The three of you left the room locking it up so no one would enter. You got ready for dinner dressing up nicely and stepping into Yoongi’s bedroom.

“Hoseok just came home, did you tell them about dinner tonight?” “Mm, I texted them earlier today” he rolled out of bed his hair dishevelled and his crescent moon eyes bright.

Arriving at the restaurant you saw a large group of young men, each well dressed, handsome, tall and very lean. “hello you must be Suga’s family” “Suga?” “Yeah that’s his producer name” Taehyung whispered before playfully nipping at the shell of your ear.

“Hello my name is Taeyong, I am the leader of NCT” he shook your hand bowing. Everyone sat down ordering food from the elaborate and expensive menu, “how about some champagne, to celebrate”

“Excuse me, Can we get a bottle of Champagne and what would you kids like?” Jaehyun grinned slapping the boys on the back. “Hyung?” They pouted, not happy with being called kids.

“Can we get a pitcher of cherry coke and another of sprite please?” You asked the waiter and he nodded, the boys looked at you curiously. “I feel like some soda”

You had fun playing games with Chenle and Jisung. Proud that you only had to go to the bathroom twice throughout the whole meal. Namjoon and Yoongi were getting really drunk as Namjoon kept slurring Congratulations to Yoongi and toasting to him. Taehyung the only other sober adult at the table helped you call rides for everyone to head home.

Carrying Namjoon inside your apartment building while he was singing at the top of his lungs Taehyung had started to sweat. “Moonchild you shine, When you rise, it's your time, C'mon yo” he tried to get the others to sing each wobbling comically in the elevator. Someone stepped onto the elevator and he grinned at the stumbling detective, recognition on his face.

“Namjoon?” “Moooooonchild dooooon't cry, When moooooon rise, it's your time, C'mon yo” Namjoon was trying to convince this man who seemed to know his name into singing his strange song with him.

“Namjoon how have you been?” “Soup-” he snickered into his hand “sooper dooper good” “I haven’t seen you since school, hey I just moved into this building so I guess I can see you around” He laughed patting him on the back making him fall forward.

“Sorry about him they were celebrating tonight, I am Y/N” “Jackson Wang, you’re the girl who does the femme guide videos that BamBam has been watching. How did I not recognize Namjoon in the videos?”

“Do you have a femme?” “No, but we will very soon and are kind of scared about what to do?” “If you have any questions feel free to ask” you gave him your number and herded the boys out the elevator and towards your apartment.

Once inside you sent the boys who were more cognitive to shower and go to bed. While you and Taehyung were practically carrying Namjoon and Yoongi to their rooms. Yoongi was kissing your belly giggling a wide gummy grin. “I am your dad, and I love you and…” Wondering if he had fallen asleep you heard a sniffle

“... I will try not to fuck up, okay so just go easy on me, I don’t really know what I am supposed to do, I will be there when you get sad and I will try to not get mad at you when you break my things, which you will cause you’re a child. I love you and your mum loves you and when the boys find out they will love you, I know this cause I am a dad, your dad”

There were steps thumping back down the hallway and Taehyung covered in tears ran at you stopping to delicately hug you. “we’re having a baby.” He was square mouth crying his body shaking with the small sobs “Namjoon said Yoongi is the father?”

“Don’t cry, it’s okay, I am a dad, you can hug me,” Yoongi said so sure of himself, puffing his chest out, standing to hug collapse against Taehyung “You want to say hi to the baby, you can’t see them ‘cause they are in there Tae, I put the baby in here, cause I am a dad”

Namjoon stumbled in holding the little baby shoes he had stolen from the nursery. “Yoongi, I got you a present for you, look they are so little” Namjoon and Yoongi curled up on the bed together holding a shoe each. Only after they argued on who got the left one, Namjoon said it was the most important as the left always goes missing. “I should have the left one because I am a dad”

Taehyung ignored the two drunkards and lifted your shirt bending down to place a kiss on your tummy. Whispering quietly and rubbing soothing circles on your hips. He lured you to his room and stripped and laid you on his bed so he could take photos.

“Hello my friend I expect it would be warm inside someone’s belly, I don’t know where you are hiding because I can’t see you yet, but I know your in there” he looked up at you, “can they hear me?”

With no time to answer Taehyung opened your legs and practically shouted into your vagina, you lost it laughing so hard and he pouted. “It’s really sweet but don’t scream at my business” he grinned and wiggling his eyebrows

“Would you rather I do something else” you nodded at his offer. Slowly and hesitantly he buried himself between your legs, rolling his body against yours in slow thrusts trying not to hurt you.

For the first time, he wasn’t chasing his high with you, he was holding your hands and telling you how much he loved you. You felt so special his slow moans were in a thick baritone. The two of you cuddled all night listening to classical music.

You had such a peaceful rest, Taehyung had exhausted you into a deep sleep. When you woke you felt sick rushing to the nearest bathroom. Vomiting in the toilet, your throat burnt with the acid from your stomach. No matter how bad the morning sickness got, you were thankful that it always faded quickly.

Washing your mouth out and heading to the kitchen, you saw Jimin was making some toast. He was dressed in a pastel blue button-up and tan trousers, looking angelic. He pushed the plate of toast across the bench towards you and proceeded to make another two pieces for himself.

He looked tired from last night and you giggled, his thick lips pursed staring out the window. “My prince you look-“

“Princess, I think you might be pregnant” he blurted out “I don’t know much about females but I started researching after the incident in the bathroom and well... you have been throwing up every morning and you have been to the bathroom a lot and you didn’t drink last night and just so many things”

Shock.

Jimin crossed the bench and hugged you, burying his nose in your hair where he gently inhaled your scented conditioner. “it’s okay love we are all here for you, have you been to the doctor, we can book you in for a check-up-”

“Jimin, I have already been, you can’t tell anyone okay?” “Tell anyone what?” Seokjin walked in heading to the fridge, he opened the doors and was shuffling around the fruit and vegetable crisper, his broad shoulder facing you. Throwing an egg at the kitchen window, it hit with a loud bang. Seokjin jumped at the noise turning around eyes wide looking for the source of the noise. Only to see Jimin frozen and looking at you like you were crazed.

“Don’t tell anyone Jimin threw an egg at the window” Pointing accusingly at Jimin and then at the said window, his mouth opening and shutting trying to speak and defend himself before he deflated. “Please don’t tell” he pouted, Seokjin took a cup of coffee and his fruit breakfast and left for work, the two of you alone once more eating toast silently.

“Jimin, pregnancies are really unstable you don’t tell anyone until sixteen weeks, I am only twelve please don’t tell anyone, imagine how devastated everyone would be if something happened” You held out your pinky and he took it with his, swearing to you he wouldn’t tell before sharing a kiss.

“You are not lying to me are you, you really are?” he whispered nodding you told him that you were, in fact, pregnant and it was Yoongi’s baby, but you wanted all the boys to treat this baby as if it was theirs as you were one big family. He dragged you to his room, locking the door, and sitting you on the bed.

You felt electricity buzz through you, as he knelt between your legs, followed by warmth when he hugged your middle. “Hello Um… baby, my name is Uh Jimin, I love you little one. I know you will be loved by everyone. I will teach you everything I know, and when you need help I want you to know you can come to me. I promise” he was smiling so brightly at your tummy his fingers delicately caressing and tickling your sides. He saw you had started crying hand pressed to your mouth to suppress whimpers.

“Princess don’t cry,” kissing your forehead he smelt like orange blossom and when his lips met yours he tasted like plum jam on toast. “I’m sorry it’s just everyone has been so good and talking to the baby and I’m so hormonal and emotional”

Rounding up all the boys who knew your secret and dragging them into Yoongi’s studio much to his dismay, you discussed keeping it top secret. They all understood swearing they would try not to let it slip.

“What are you working on? A lullaby?” Taehyung read the computer screen, “Is it for the baby, I want to make a song too please” “Me too” Jimin piped up, they all got Yoongi to agree, Namjoon was also onboard with the idea of writing something. You were all excited and in your own thoughts when you heard Hoseok shout from the kitchen.

“Why is there an egg splattered on the kitchen window, god I hope that’s egg if it’s not y’all need some sort of god to save your soul from sins and maybe a doctor yellow-orange is not a good colour”

You didn’t make it till the end of the day until they all knew, “You're pregnant!” Hoseok accused the ultrasound had fallen from Yoongi’s pocket, “this is a baby right, not a lumpy tumour, I have seen an ultrasound before”

Seokjin was choking on noodles, “really?” “Jagiya have you been playing with strays?” Hoseok grinned “You knew and didn’t tell us?” Jungkook pointed

Jimin put on a shocked face, pretending like he didn’t know “princess, you are pregnant? Since when? who is the father?” “But Jimin you already knew,” Taehyung said causing everyone to facepalm. “You all knew?” “I just found out” Seokjin breathed trying to console the screeching Jungkook.

“Same” Hoseok raising his hands innocently. You explained why you didn’t tell them and how the boys had found out you were expecting. “I told Yoongi, because, this is his biological child. Namjoon found out on and got drunk accidentally telling Taehyung and Jimin figure it out on his own.

Jungkook finally forgave you and each of the boys took turns talking to your belly and looking at the ultrasound.

Seven months pregnant and staying in a hotel, you walked out of the elaborate bathroom and got dressed. You had a small paid crew filming you for your channel.

Your phone started ringing the caller ID said Seokjin, you answered, “hello my love” “Are you ready, the boys are getting tired of waiting?” “Alright stop complaining I need to get my room key” you scooped up your things up and headed to the elevator. Handing T.O.P your room key.

Looking at your reflection in the mirror the dress you wore made your little round tummy look cute and you felt like you were glowing. The elevator stopped on the ground floor and you slowly walked out and headed towards the hall. Seokjin's hotel was a luxury style building a perfect place for all occasions and the food was lovely.

The boys would be waiting for you just around the corner, there was a sweet piano piece playing. You recognised it as the one Yoongi had gifted you in the piano-shaped music box.

Inshik smiled by the entrance and took your hand kissing it. He told you how beautiful you looked and Jiyong placed your veil in your hair. It was time to go in. The boys next door, we’re all dressed in pretty suits each carrying a basket of petals. They were your flower boys.

They each hugged you Kai and Soobin patting your round belly. “Rub the belly for good luck?” “I’m not Buddha”

They went down the aisle first throwing the petals. Jiyong followed wearing a spectacular bridesmaid dress, he had made it to perfectly work with his shape and it was in your weddings accent colour.

Inshik held out his arm and you hooked yours around it, “you don’t have to do this, just remember we can leave at any time if you are scared or have second thoughts”

“Nothing can stop me from getting married today.” He led you down the aisle. Everyone you knew was there the NCT group, Rose, Lisa, Jennie and Jisoo, Jiyong’s family including Misuk who had the rings and Jackson and his family there. Jackson had introduced you to his family which had a new member a lovely femme who you had visited and helped her get settled in this new lifestyle.

One look at each other across the hall and you all started crying, thanking the heavens you wore waterproof makeup. Reading your vows addressing them each one at a time and telling them intricately how much you loved and adored them. They read theirs to you each telling you how much you completed them and made them better. The celebrant was an old friend of Seokjin’s. His name was Leeteuk. Apparently, he officiated weddings often for the hotel. He had great fun making everyone feel special and relaxed during the ceremony.

“I now pronounce you, husband, husband, husband, husband, husband, husband, husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride” They each took their turn kissing you each kiss different. But each kiss was filled with love and passion.

The ceremony led into the reception where you danced a small progressive waltz with the boys, spinning you onto the next partner. Cutting the cake and throwing the bouquet marked the end of the evening. The honeymoon suite was spacious and very romantically set. You were worshipped through the evening and well into the morning until you were utterly exhausted.

Nine months pregnant and waddling to work beside Jungkook, who was trying and failing to hide his amusement at the way you swayed. Going to work was less about actually working and more about talking with Inshik. You sat keeping him company and served a few customers. It wasn't a hard job, you also liked the cool temperature of the icecream van. You had some ice cream and was talking with Inshik about the book you bought for his birthday two months ago. He had finally finished it and was discussing the plot twists and character development.

Jungkook arrived to pack up the picnic tables and umbrellas, he refused to let you set up or pack up the equipment. He would just smile and tell you to go easy as pregnant women shouldn’t lift or exert themselves. Then at the end of the day, the two of you walked home hand in hand picking up, Jimin and Seokjin along the way.

The moment you stepped in the door Taehyung was waiting to whisk you away into Namjoon’s office where he would undress you. He had been using the back of the office for photoshoots. Most people have one maternity shoot you had one every day, sometimes he just took different angles of your belly. Your favourite photo was one he took where your feet were peeking out from behind your belly.

You couldn’t say no especially when he praised you so much and made you feel beautiful, it always ended with the two of you making love in Namjoons office. Which Namjoon himself had confessed was always a nice sight to come home to.

Namjoon and the boys had all practised how to change a baby’s clothes, Jungkook was admittedly better at it than you. “I love you mama bear” Taehyung whispered helping you into your robe. Jimin poked his head into the room with a bright smile, he clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Taehyungie, you not supposed to leave marks like this every day, our princess has work”

“I didn’t leave any yesterday” he held his arms up with a grin.

“Princess, I got another bottle of cream” Jimin excitedly hugged you his chest pressed to your back swaying you both his hands under your tummy taking the weight off your back. Moaning in relief you laid your head back. “I will rub it onto your belly, this is the best for stretch marks they say you won’t even be able to see anything.”

“Mmm?” “And then afterwards I can cut some peaches” he kissed your jaw. “Mmm yeah then what baby?” “Then maybe I can rub your back” “I love when you talk dirty to me”

After you were lathered in vitamin E cream, fed and massaged, everyone had returned home. Seokjin massaged your feet and painted your toenails.

“Excuse me, are you single?” You grinned at the broad-shouldered gentleman at your feet. “Ah I am married and my pregnant wife is so stunning” he smiled wiggling his hand to flash the ring on his hand.

“My pregnant wife is pretty too” Hoseok kissed your temple making hearts at you. “Oh, what are your wives names?” “Y/n” they answered in unison and pretended to raise fists at each other.

“You trying to steal my wife?” “Ya! Who would want to marry your horse face”

You took their moment of distraction to sneak of looking for Jungkook. He was supposed to be making dinner. You looked everywhere. Instead finding Yoongi sitting in the nursery hands clasped together gently rocking back and forth on the rocking chair. His eyes closed as he made a sound that could have been mistaken as a purr.

“Hey daddy” you grinned he didn’t even flinch but his lips pulled up in a soft lazy smile. He blinked slowly coming out of his daze and looking up at your swollen figure, “you still love me?”

You asked them every day and each one replied the same. ‘Always’ he held his arms out and you walked into them his long arms wrapping around your waist just touching at the small of your back. He gently pressed his soft and squishy cheek against your tummy, you felt the baby shift pressing an elbow into his face. “hey are you ruining my moment with your mother, when you get out we will have words”

Yoongi walked you to his room, passing the chaos in the lounge. He shut the bedroom door cancelling out the noise, he took a moment to admire how beautiful you looked just being yourself. You were flicking through the books on his bedside table.

“Jimin has been on our backs to read these stupid books about pregnancy. Reading is what we have Namjoon for” You laughed smacking his arm, his eyes darkened and he growled at you “did you just hit me?”

“Get on your hands and knees” he pulled off your robe. Undoing his pants and grasping his shaft firmly he slipped himself inside you gently. His long arms reaching around you to hold your round belly in his hands. You moaned as he took the weight off your back. He always did this and when you asked he said it wasn’t fair that you had to carry the weight all the time.

You were feeling really good he was warming up, he always started so cautiously and gentle until you asked him for more. Being pregnant made orgasms feel so much stronger except this time you felt weird all of a sudden really really weird.

A sharp pain in your back and a tightness that rolled down your stomach, you felt trickling down your legs. Yoongi moaned thrusting a little harder at how you had tightened so hard around him he was so close. He was about to let go when you shouted.

“Yoongi wait stop. bangtan bangtan!” He pulled out and looked at you worried, never hearing you say the safe word before touching your face and then your stomach.

“What did I do?” “My water just broke” “Your what”

“How far did you get through the fucking book Yoongi” you snatched the book off the bedside table finding the dog eared page, “you’re on the third page?” “Yeah” he frowned guilty his voice breathless and his cock rock hard and throbbing in anticipation to his release. Laughing at his cluelessness.

“Fuck I love you” you kissed him, his hands rubbing your belly forgetting the contraction that had passed through you not a second ago. You scraped your nails along his scalp and moaned into his mouth and this seemed to be all he needed as he came hard on your thigh.

The two of you looked down, your eyes staring at the pool of cum before your eyes travelled back up his chest to his guilty and pissed off expression. “Did you just come on my thigh?” “What a waste” He pouted, smirking you ran your finger over it swiping a little for a taste which made him smile even though he tried his hardest to still be pissed.

You cleaned up and began pacing slowly, you needed to hold out for a while before heading to the hospital. Your contractions weren’t anywhere near close. You called the birthing clinic to let them know your water had broke and that you would come in when your contractions get closer. You were timing the contractions on your phone.

That night at around nine you made your way to the hospital, you had the baby later that evening just before midnight. A little boy. He had his father’s crescent eye shape, cute nose and mouth. The boys stepped into the room their cheeks wet, noses pink. Yoongi had the first hold and the boys patted his shoulders gently in congratulations.

“His name is Min Kyung Ju”

Jungkook was a mess he hadn’t stopped crying, he didn’t like to see you in pain and especially didn’t like to hear you crying during the delivery. Taehyung had filmed a little of you in the hospital room before you went into active labour.

The boys loved Kyungju named as the 32nd generation of the Min clan. The boy’s parents stopped by the hospital dropping off some flowers and meeting the baby.

You were breastfeeding one day when Kyungju opened his eyes you started giggling he had your eye colour. They weren’t the dark brown almost black colour of Yoongi‘s they were lighter (lighter brown, green, hazel, grey, blue, pink).

Your channel had become so popular. You had the NCT boys on your show for mukbangs, especially with Seokjin. Playing games with the younger ones. The TXT boys had their own channel now and collaborated with you guys often.

Misuk loved Kyungju. She would lay on her belly and watch him wriggle around on the floor. “Kyungie is so funny”

You came home from an appointment on a particularly hot day to see Jimin shirtless with the baby lying naked on his chest on the couch. Everything was so beautiful you decided to take a photo. Jimin groaned in exasperation his eyes snapping open. “Really, why would you pee on me?”

“I will get a towel” giggling at Jimin who was glaring up at you to get a towel.

Kyungju was a vocal baby but never really cried, ever since birth, he would make gummy squeaks and little sounds when he breathed, he liked to hear his own voice, Yoongi had made a space in his studio where a small bouncer sat beside the desk and he could watch his son chew on the ears of his Woogie. (A floppy cat toy that had a small rattle sound inside)

Taehyung took so many photos of your son you couldn’t help but grin as he ran to you with his camera showing you all the photos. “This is when he started to yawn, this is him smiling the same gummy smile as Yoongi.”

While playing with Seokjin, he started babbling a string of dadadada and blowing raspberries, the whole room went quiet as he squealed and giggled at his Woogie before pulling his feet up to hold, his foot in his mouth.

“Ew, feet are not for mouths” Seokjin grinned at the boy, “did your foul mouth daddy teach you that one?”

Namjoon was playing with Kyungju bouncing him, while you got dressed for the day. Kyungju’s eyebrows pulled together in concentration made Namjoon laugh that is until milk poured from the infant’s mouth and onto his suit. He called for help. “Ahh someone grab the baby, he vomited on me”

“Hold him properly, you’re scaring him” Taehyung scolded grabbing a cloth to clean the mess. Hoseok scooped up the bundle and cooed making the boy giggle once more.

It was a special night you went on a date with Jungkook. You went to Han River on a dinner cruise and had delicious food. Returning home late Jungkook led you to his room pulling off your dress and kissing your neck. You were both excited to have some time to indulge in your pleasures, it had been two months since having Kyungju, two months since you last had sex. Wearing your best lingerie. You told him you wanted to ride him and he responded with a grin, laying back on the bed propping his head up with pillows. He pushed your panties to the side and guided you down his thick length.

Getting really into the moment, Jungkook gripping your hips as you bounced on top of him. He hissed when you circled your hips. Yet the moment had to be broken by a cry from the baby monitor, freezing in place, you both turned to the monitor screen which was in all the boy’s rooms. You watched as Hoseok entered the Nursery to take care of the baby his voice playing through the monitor. “Your mum just wants one night off” the crying settled but you heard a gasp from underneath you.

Looking down you noticed your bra was wet, the babies' cry made your milk start leaking. Jungkook gently massaged your hips and bit his lip. His shy bunny smile and his knitted brows showed you he was curious and wanting to ask something. “Yeobo, can I try some?”

“I mean if you want. I heard a lot of bodybuilders actually use breast milk” Laughing at how quick he was to sit up. He shushed you his cheeks flushed pulling down your bra and tasting some of your milk. You blushed and he grinned up at you. “It’s weird, not horrible just different, I think I will stick to regular milk”

Kyungju was a lazy baby, but still liked to wriggle and roll across the floor, he was always up to mischief. Whenever he was picked up by Namjoon he had a habit of drooling or blowing raspberries, you knew it was because he liked the faces Namjoon pulled when he did it.

The baby album which was released with songs you all had written for Kyungju, it sold twenty thousand copies and every day you sold a few more. It wasn’t anything too spectacular but it made you some money. You discussed the possibility of hosting live shows where you can talk to audiences and meet fans of the channel perhaps even sing a song or two live. However, you decided you were not ready for another overseas type experience, especially with a baby.

Waking to a cry. This one sounded different and Namjoon was the first to respond, he arrived at Seokjin’s room with your precious baby. “Love, I think Kyungie is sick”

You and Seokjin shot out of bed and got dressed heading to the hospital, it was just a fever caused by a cold. After a course of antibiotics, he was back to normal.

Kyungju was scared of the vacuum he started crying when Seokjin started cleaning the living room. Jimin tried his best to console him, but it wasn’t going well. Unable to handle the sound of his sons crying nor watching the tears run down the poor boys face Yoongi took his son and walked him into the soundproof studio and patted his son to sleep. You were amused listening to the boys argue.

“So now I am the devil for cleaning the house, no one is yelling at Hoseok for cleaning” “Because the mop isn’t screaming in our son's ear”

Femme Media 40

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funeraloracle · 4 years

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i just needed to make this post tonight feel free to reblog if you feel the same but

oh my god as a hellenic pagan and as a student of ancient societies i fucking love the ancient greeks and their pantheon so much. i love reading about how they worshipped their gods, the stories they built around that worship, the little cities where they built their shrines to certain gods because “Oh She stopped here to rest” or “Oh this is where She gave us an olive tree” and its like YEAH BABEY those places are special for the rest of eternity

say what you will about the romans but im so glad that they remade old greek archiecture and statues because otherwise the originals would be lost forever. i love roman artwork of the gods just as much as greek artwork. i love reading roman versions of the same mythology because its in a different historical context and that makes it a Different Story.

back to greeks but have i mentioned i love their pantheon? have i mentioned i love our gods?

i love zeus so much i admire him from afar but he’s so full and big and beautiful and broad and powerful and i can feel it when a storm is about to hit and it just swells in your chest like pride like love!!! it tingles in the air, all high voltage and im piss scared of storms but goddamn if i cant respect them. there’s love in every lightningbolt. theres a proclamation of trust and a promise of justice in an unfair world in every thunderclap. if the olympians could turn to zeus in chaos for order, i can too, because he’s trustworthy and knows what to do.

i love athena so much!!! shes so powerful and strong and upright and wisened and gracious. she provided us with sooo much and she keeps blessing us. shes the one listening to the tense silence as you puzzle out a hard problem. shes the swell of accomplishment and the burst of excitement when you finally get it. shes the hand on the small of your back as you go to assert yourself, the nervousness that lifts right before a public speech. shes the curiousness that strikes you to go google something, to fall down a youtube or wikipedia rabbit hole and learn something. shes gorgeous in every expansive intellectual way. shes pure accomplishment and power.

i love ares too like wow wow what a guy. the very fire that rolls off of his presence, the power in his words. hes an entire room beating their chest and giving a battle cry. hes the breath right before the wrestler throws a punch and the crack of bone against knuckles. hes also the goosebumps on the back of your neck, the pounding of your heart and the shaking of your hands when you finally tell someone what you think and it aint pretty. hes the hoarse of your voice from screaming when you need it most. hes there, stewing in your anger and loneliness when you have nowhere to scream. hes the hand on your shoulder as you pound your fists into the sides of your head and cry. hes the catharsis, too. hes so big and so tough but so gentle, too. he knows better than anyone what anger feels like, how it hurts when you hold it too close, how it burns. he knows you don’t need any more of his, but he can hold yours for you if you can’t express it, or he can lead you ahead into battle when you need to.

and gosh i love hecate... ive been thinking about her so much recently. shes so illusive and deep and her reach spreads so far. the fact that she made the queen of poisons, aconitum, wolfs bane, is haunting. the words to describe her evade me and thats so fitting for her because she is anything but describable. all mystery and nil and void. shes the nightmare slipping away as soon as you wake, the pounding of your chest and the dark press of the room that was once comforting and is now terrifying, and soon becomes comforting again. shes the new moon, all black night, full of potential and yet showing nothing at all. shes the poison and the pipe that you smoke it in, the pull of the hit and the exhale, and the painful death that follows after. shes the spiral, shes terrifying and exhilerating and amazing.

i love all of them but im running out of steam phew........

feel free to add and talk about hellenic gods if you want!

#penned by me #hellenismos #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pantheon #greek polytheism #greek pantheon #hecate #ares #zeus #athena

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fics-not-tragedies · 5 years

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Intervistare

one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight

It’s time for some Italian loving tonight, with a special dedication to @ivatsworld who’s obsessed with Santino just as I am 😈

SUMMARY: You’re a journalist who had the chance of having an exclusive interview with the heir of Camorra - the one and only Santino D’Antonio. Words: 3783; Warnings: smut ahead;

Readers tag list:

@spookier-than-u; @oreofenyloetyloamina; @derangedcupcake; @geostarr; @catsmieow; @wickedlangdon; @bodhi-black; @bugalouie; @onebatch--twobatch; @fandom-lover-4; @mikaneonox; @drunkonyellow; @spadesandaces2342; @harrisongslimited; @hhighkey; @lunilate; @i-cant-remember-my-old-login; @sgt-morgan; @coloursunlimited; @childrenofthegun; @weminiaturestrawberry; @silverlambcaptain; @scarletmoon83; @howtoruin-someones-perfect-day; @krazycags01; @charlottebonnie; @moonlit-raven-haven; @girl-at-the-verge; @boopdedoop; @jardani-jovonovich-bitch; @ladyreapermc; @wifeofdarklordsworld; @mysticfluffyness; @zombiepandajfish; @kollover24; @greenmanalishi; @persephonehemingway; @lovelycarose;

You were tense to say the least. Not because of who he was, you’d come to terms with him being the biggest name you were interviewing yet, but because he looked quite uncomfortable, like he didn’t really want to be there. But there was no backing out now, from neither side really, and you’d been so excited so you tried to stay professional, not just get it over with but make it as good as you could, no matter how disinterested, reserved, distant he looked.

“Are you comfortable?” You inquired, looking at him doubtfully, “Is the coffee alright?”

He nodded slowly, holding the coffee cup in his hand, bringing it up to his lips to take a small sip. “Si, bella, thank you…” he said quietly, his thick accent making every word sound incredibly sexy.

Not just his mood was intimidating, the way he looked was too, the neatly tailored suit, his black coat threw nonchalantly on the armrest of the couch, the way his eyes kept piercing through you, the stare overly intimidating, and he just looked too well.

“Because I can get you something else…” you assured him, wanting him to be pleased with the drink you’d made him, you were desperate to make everything perfect.

It felt like you were the only two people in the whole building now, except for the security standing outside the door and lurking from every corner; he hadn’t been able to make any other time, it was past your hours, had gone dark a while ago, but you’d been willing to do this either way, if he was going to make the time to talk to you and grant you first and fully exclusive interview, you were going to make an effort and give it your all.

“It’s really good actually” he said, clearing his throat. “I like it, bella.”

You smiled, nodding and glancing down at your notes. “Okay, so… are you okay with me filming our conversation?” you asked, a faint smile hiding in the corner of his mouth, “I promise it’s only for my eyes, so I can refer back to it and go back and forth through it when I write the article.”

Santino nodded, “Yes, bella. I already agreed to that when you called.”

You nodded quickly, “Yeah, yeah, I just wanted to make sure again” you stammered.

He gave you a small smile, shifting slightly on the couch, “It’s fine, veramente. I bet you’re not the only one that would like to have videos of me” he chuckled.

You swallowed hard, your cheeks started to burn and you tried your best to calm down, and get your shit together.

“Okay…” you said, smiling, also clearing your throat. “Let’s… uh… let’s start then” you said, leaning over to press play on your laptop that you’d set up in front of the sofa you were both sat on, “Easy question to start with… how are you doing?” you asked, feeling like it was suitable to start on as he seemed to start flirting with you, “Like, not just your mood right now” you added with a laugh to seem a bit more deep, professional, “How are you generally… I can imagine that being a mobster isn’t an easy job… and I must say that I appreciate how you just simply agreed to talk with me, perhaps you want to show a warmer side of the mafia?”

He chuckled, the sound relieving you a little, hoping he was loosening up, “You’re right about that, bella. It’s not as easy as it might seem.”

You nodded, smiling, “So, right now it’s just… relaxing, recharging, taking a break from the usual… businesses?” you asked.

He sighed, stretching his arms out a little.

“Malavita is a form of an art really. With all of the power and money I have I could use it for anything I wanted.”

You smiled, nodding again, “Yeah” you said, “but isn’t it all like a burden for you somehow? Living in a constant state of danger? I’m sorry, I’m slipping into the heavy questions that early…” you laughed.

Santino shrugged, waving it off, “No, no, it’s fine, bella. I can understand that you have various questions… about various things… but I like to live in a constant state of danger” he leaned closer to you, “just like now… since you weren’t searched al momento dell'arrivo, how can I be sure you’re not having a gun or a knife… hidden somewhere.”

You nodded understandingly, smiling, “Right…”

“So… all the blood we, D’Antonios, have spilled is for our best. Our enemies have to die, so we can live.”

You laughed, “Yeah, I see that. And what’s made you stick with it, the fact that somehow it’s a family business?”

He nodded few times, before grabbing the coffee cup, “Yeah, I suppose…” he smiled, shifting and leaning back against the cushions of the sofa, turning his body slightly, so he was facing you more, pulling one of his legs up onto the other and taking another sip of his coffee. “It’s the only way of living I know.”

“But… haven’t you really tried, to escape this way of living?”

He shrugged, “I haven’t really thought about that… it’s more like I was already born into all that… born with murder coursing through my veins. I won’t describe myself as a bad person even though I kill people.”

“So, in your opinion, what makes a person bad?” you looked up at him from your notes and when your eyes met he couldn’t help but smile.

“I live by the codex, bella. A codex I have to work out myself… in my world there are three crucial rules: you don’t hurt women, you don’t hurt children and even a single word is worth more than anything. That’s how you make people trust you. You won’t hurt someone’s wife and kids even if it’s per vendetta. A loving woman is worth more than any amount of money, gold or anything equally pricey.”

You watched as he gently placed the empty cup onto the coffee table, “Would you like another drink? Perhaps some tea?” you offered.

He thought for a moment, “Veramente, bella, have you got… anything stronger?” Santino smirked.

You laughed, placing your notepad down and shuffling off the sofa, heading to the kitchen, “Really?” you grinned.

“I mean, not just for me, have a drink too…” he said and you could feel his eyes on you from behind you.

“I’m working…” you said, “And so are you, Mister Santino.”

“Please, just Santino!” he undid all of the buttons of his jacket, “Well, if no one sees that video, no one will know…”

You returned with two small glasses and a bottle of whisky, “Lucky me. Getting an exclusive interview and he’s even requesting a drink that’ll loosen his tongue” you joked.

“Well, you don’t seem as a person who would twist my words, then run them for printing. Also we both agreed that you’ll show me the final product of our discorso.”

You nodded quickly, pouring both of you a generous drink, handing him his before sitting back down with yours, picking up your notes again, “Absolutely” you said. “I don’t want you to think about every single word you say clearly because then it’s just going to be stiff and not very real, right? You’d be much more comfortable and more likely to just speak your mind and we can have a proper conversation.”

Santino smiled, nodding. “You know what you want, bella. Also you’re not trying to force me to say something that I’d regret later… you’re a true professional. You’re not one of those that’d like to force out a scandal.”

You nodded understandingly. “Yeah, but… that’s understandable” you smiled.

“But I feel … much more comfortable now, and it’s somehow like we’re just having a chat like… un primo incontro style…”

Your eyes widened and you blushed, trying to quickly think of something else to ask him, skimming your notes.

“To good journalism… and beautiful journalists” he said, quickly taking over your job of moving on and holding his glass up.

You laughed nervously, letting your glasses ring together, smiling at his words and taking a big sip of the whisky, the sharp aftertaste burning down your throat.

He smiled. “This is good…” he mumbled, “At least I know you have a good taste in liquor. So… now you can ask about the juicier things…” he joked.

“I don’t know about juicy…” you laughed again, “but I definitely have some few tricky ones, that I didn’t know if we’d get to, or if you were comfortable with…”

“Don’t be scared, either of asking or of me” his fingertips ghosted over the skin of your hand, a smile on his face.

You nodded, another blush creeping on your face.

“You said that ‘a loving woman is worth more than any amount of money’, is there someone in your life that you truly love?” his eyes seemed dull for a moment, it felt like he was deep in his thoughts, but he blinked them away.

“I’ve never really met someone I could adore… until now, I think” he probably sensed that his words made you uneasy, “Well, it’s definitely been one of the greatest conversations I’ve ever had in my life” Santino added quickly, laughing a little.

You smiled, flattered by the lovely compliment, “Wow, that’s… that makes me really proud” you said.

“You should be, bella” he said, sitting up straight and finishing his glass. “I’m actually… dying for a cigarette” he said, fumbling in the pocket of his jacket, “You smoke?”

You thought for a moment, then nodded slowly, “Yeah, I could have one too” you said with a smile, leaning over to finish and save your recording, before grabbing one of the ashtrays from the kitchen and placing it on the coffee table next to the sofa.

“It was a great conversation” Santino said as he handed you a cigarette and trapped one between his lips, lightning them both with a silver lighter.

“Thank you” you smiled. “I thought so too, I was a little nervous but that turned out to be unnecessary.”

He smirked, taking a drag from his cigarette, “Doesn’t it always?” a little chuckle left his lips.

“True” you laughed, nodding, also taking a drag and blowing it away from him. It felt like he moved closer, slowly reducing the distance between you two.

“So, any plans for now?” he asked, slowly moving even closer to you.

You shrugged. “Well, I didn’t know how long this was going to take so I didn’t make any plans…” you confessed, “I might order some food, start writing the article. Bit of lonely work. How about you?”

“I mean, quite the same” he laughed, “Mob life is a quite a lonely one, surprising.”

Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, biting your lip, “O-Or… perhaps … you could… just stay for a little longer” you suggested, “If you wanted, to just… have another drink?”

“I don’t want to keep you away from work, bella…”

You smiled, “Well, I asked, so…” you mumbled nervously, unable to take your eyes off his with how close he was and you wondered if he really was getting closer or if you were just imagining that.

“Magnifico…” he hummed, “Because I feel like the real conversation hasn’t really started yet.”

You swallowed hard, your eyes glued to his face, hypnotized by the way his lips moved as he spoke, his face was even prettier in person and you just couldn’t take your eyes of it, thought about what it would feel like if he just came a little closer, if he just closed the space between the two of you completely and then your heart fluttered when he did.

Your eyes stayed wide open for a moment, unable to believe that this was happening, how was this happening?

And then he already pulled back, eyes fluttering open, looking back at you, “Mi spiace, bella” he mumbled, the Italian accent driving you more and more insane with every word he spoke, “Was that okay… okay with you…? I… oh, bella…”

You nodded eagerly, reaching to cup the back of his neck, not giving him a moment of doubt and leaning up to press your lips to his, your eyes fluttering shut. Santino quickly stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray and you felt how he hesitated for a moment, just like you had before kissing you back, one of his arms looping around you to pull you closer, his other hand cupping the side of your face. He tasted exactly the way he looked, sweet, like smoke, the whisky and something else that you couldn’t quite put your finger on, something mysterious…

You drew back, inhaling sharply and he giggled shakily, “I thought I just sbagliare…” he said quietly.

“No, no, I was just … caught off guard, I…” you took one last drag from your cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray just like he did with his.

“No, no, bella…” he said, his thumb grazing your lips, “don’t apologize” his other hand gently touching your neck, “I just… my first thought when I walked here was that you’re una bellissima donna… when we started talking… you’re voice was the most sublime music I’ve ever heard… I felt like we were on the same wavelength, I think that’s how you say it in English…” he smiled again.

“No, no, I agree!” you assured him quickly, pressing your hand to his chest, “I … just wasn’t sure if you… felt the same…”

“I do, bella. There’s something magic about you…” he smirked.

You poured both of you another glass of whisky, a little more this time and you kicked off your shoes, getting more comfortable on the sofa, Santino doing the same, pulling up his legs and leaning his side against the back of the sofa to face you properly.

He smiled back at you, sighing, “I know you can see me as someone who’s ruthless… someone rotten to the core, but I rarely pull the trigger, I just make orders.”

“That’s understandable. You have a whole army of people to do that for you” there was a faint smile on your lips.

“Bella?”

“Y-Yes, Santino?”His voice sounded serious and you looked back at him curiously, swallowing.

“Can I kiss those lips again?”

Your heart skipped a beat and you found yourself nodding, placing your glass down on the table but holding his gaze.

He smiled softly, biting his bottom lip before shrugged off his jacket and leaned in again, his hand moving to the back of your head to draw you close, pressing his lips to yours again, less hesitant this time, more confident, like he wasn’t all that before and it felt more like he meant it, like he now knew what he truly wanted.

You sighed softly against his lips, returning the kiss, moving your hand to the side of his face, brushing your thumb along his jaw, a slight gasp falling from your lips when you felt his tongue slip past them to dance with yours, deepening the kiss.

You felt a fire coiling in your stomach, trying to compose yourself, to not get lost in the kiss but he tasted incredible, felt incredible, smelt incredible, he was intoxicating and you wanted more, tried to hold yourself back but you couldn’t, cupping his face with both hands to keep him close, kissing him back more eagerly, the alcohol loosening your inhibitions, making you more confident than you normally would’ve been in any sort of position like this. Not that you’d ever been in one, not that you’d ever had the chance to be with someone like he was.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer and you shifted to climb into his lap, sighing with relief when you sank into his arms and it was much more comfortable to kiss him this way, pressing yourself close to him as you moved your tongue with his and his lips became more demanding, eager, almost desperate for more.

You didn’t know what had gotten into you, didn’t recognize yourself, or the confidence you had, your hips grinding forward into his, your face flushed, heart racing as he tightened his arm around you, groaning softly into your mouth. One of his hands moved slowly up your side before cupping your breast over your shirt, groping, kneading before tugging up your shirt, both his hands wandering underneath and you moaned against his lips as he massaged your breasts through your bra.

As you moved to grind your hips forward again, aching for some friction, something to tend to the ache between your legs that was growing more and more prominent the more he touched you, the more he moaned, mumbled your name, sucked on your tongue, “S-Santino…” you were unable to stop the little moan from leaving your mouth.

“Are we making love tonight, bella?” he drawled when he felt your hips grinding down again, hands moving slowly down your hips. He was hard, straining in his perfectly tailored trousers.

You whimpered at his words, couldn’t help but nod, “Y-Yes…” you whispered.

“Mmm, perfetto…” he mumbled, making you giggle against his lips and he pushed up your skirt, hands roaming your thighs and spreading them further apart in his lap, allowing you to press up closer to him, whining when you felt the rough fabric of his trousers brush up against your wet folds, just grazing your clit slightly.

“O-Oh, fuck…” you whispered.

He was quick to unbuckle his belt and you lifted your hips to give him enough space to tug down his jeans far enough to reach into his underwear, giving his hard cock a few pumps and you watched him, mesmerized, licking your lips.

Then you just switched his hand with yours, giving him a few more pumps, stroking him slowly, enjoying the look on his face as he slowly relaxed, his eyes fluttering shut, lips parted slightly, little moans you couldn’t figure out falling from his mouth.

You couldn’t believe this was about to happen, doubted it was for a moment but here you were, on top of him, aching for him to be inside you and soon you couldn’t wait any longer, sitting up on your knees to position yourself above him, whimpering when his tip brushed up against your clit and you pulled your thong to the side, whining when your wet heat enveloped him, you were so wet that he slipped inside easily, before you could properly adjust, falling against him, your chest pressed up against him.

He groaned, throwing his head back as he sank inside you slowly and you squirmed when his cock was buried all the way inside you, throbbing, stretching out your walls, “Excuse my words, bella, but la tua figa è perfetta…” he muttered, his hips bucking up.

You whimpered, arms wrapped around his shoulders as you tried to lift your hips, only to sink back down on him again, moaning softly at the friction, his cock rubbing up so tightly against your walls.

“Take this off…” he groaned, pushing your shirt up properly and you tried to sit up straight so he could pull it over your head, grabbing at your tits again as you started rolling your hips, adjusting slowly to his size and starting to pick up the pace, bouncing in his lap, whining softly each time his cock reached deep inside you, brushing up into just the right spot and you reached between your legs to rub your clit.

He moved his hips with yours, bucking them up and groaning, massaging your breasts and dragging your bra down so they spilled over, making you whine when he rolled your nipples between his fingers, teasing, attaching his lips to your neck and sucking needily on your skin.

You picked up the pace, hips rising and falling faster, it was a quick grind, a fast build up and you could tell he was getting just as close just as quickly, your walls clenching around his throbbing cock.

“C-cazzo, bella! You’re fucking gorgeous…” he panted, his hands dropping to your hips to guide your movements, bouncing you faster in his lap as he started pushing up inside you, his snapping up again and again and again, making you cry out, whimpering his name each time he drove his cock deep inside you.

“Santi!” You moaned loudly, glad you were all alone now. “Oh, fuck Santino! I’m… I’m so close… I’m gonna…”

“Me too, bella, come on, let go, let your pretty little cunt come all over my cock…”

His filthy words were doing it all, encouraging you as your hips slapped together and you fell against him, your hard nipples brushing up against his chest as you gripped his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin through the fabric, whining, squirming as your walls gripped his cock, fluttering around him, the pleasure rocking through your body.

Triggered by your orgasm, he followed suit, burying himself deep inside you, holding you close and whimpering as he bit down on your neck.

“Santi!” you whined, moving your fingers to the back of his head, nails scraping against his skin gently, riding out both your orgasms, sighing as his cock brushed against your sensitive walls, a quiet whimper escaping your lips when he slipped out of you.

“Cazzo… oh, bella…” he groaned, tucking himself back into his underwear, fixing his clothes.

You shifted off his lap, your legs shaking as you stood up to fix your own clothes, picking up your shirt and pulling it back on, turning around when you felt his hand close around your wrist and he pulled you down on the sofa beside him again, your head falling down on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you.

“Come here…” he mumbled softly, pressing an absent kiss to your hair, his hand brushing up and down your arm.

You were surprised by the tender nature of his touches, had thought he’d really just want to grind it out quickly now but he still seemed interested in spending more time with you and you were pleasantly surprised, cuddling closer to his side to cherish the moment.

“If you want me to go just say a word, bella…” he mumbled quietly against your hair.

“I don’t…” you sighed, speaking into his chest and wrapping your arm around him.

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whorphydice · 4 years

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I would kinda die for a fic about your modern hc about orpheus’s graduation

This was SO fun to write, your wish is my command. Special recognition to @hollywoodx4 who is literally the coparent to this entire giant modern au we have. She’s wonderful and so special to me.

This whole world is, and I'm so excited to share a piece with you!

Please enjoy sweating, uncomfortable Eurydice.

The warm spring air may as well have been a blistering, 100 degree summer day to Eurydice. There was no difference now. The heat made her feel like her skin was melting off, hair frizzing around her face. It didn’t help that she had to dress up- she was so happy in Orpheus’ t shirts that still fell to her thighs despite her protruding abdomen. Persephone insisted however, and she knew she was right, that she dress up for the occasion. Besides, she knew Orpheus would enjoy seeing her in the more dressy outfit. And that's how she ended up in a pale pink sundress, that was so tight around her chest she felt she was spilling out, and emphasised her midsection so thoroughly there was no question- she was very pregnant. She managed to get away with wearing light, slip on sandals- which was a blessing, considering none of her other shoes fit over her swollen feet. For all the poetic ways Orpheus described her day in and day out, the only way she would describe herself was a cow.

She was fanning herself with a folded program, thinking about how she couldn’t wait to get out of this heat when Persephone’s voice snapped her out of her reverie.

“You alright there, Chickadee?” The woman asked, her own curled hair pinned off of her neck in this warm weather. “Don’t go passing out on us, I have some water if you want it.”

“How in the hell did you do this? And Junie was born in June! You had to be miserable.” Eurydice groaned, running her hand over her forehead to catch some of the sweat.

“I had a pool and a husband who wouldn’t let me leave the air conditioning. I know Orpheus tried to get you to stay home too-”

“He did and I told him I wouldn’t miss this for the entire world. I’d have to be in labor to miss this, and i’m not having this baby for at least 3 more months. I can handle this for him.” She ran a hand over her stomach fondly, “we can take a couple of hours in the heat, can’t we baby-”

“Oh is baby talkin’ Aunt ‘Rydice? Can I talk to baby?” Persephone’s daughter piped up from her place on her father’s lap, before crawling over Persephone and onto Eurydice’s lap. “Hi baby.” Juniper cooed, leaning her face as close as she could to Eurydice’s stomach, the layers of tulle on the toddler’s dress only adding to the heat on Eurydice’s thighs.

“Sure Junie B, you know they like to hear you.” It was true- the little ball of energy that was their ‘niece,’ with her curly corkscrew hair and endless joy- tended to make Eurydice’s heart yearn for her own baby to be in her arms. Mostly because it was so sweet to watch Junie murmur sweet words to her baby, but also because those words caused said baby to move endlessly within her.

“She is gon’ be my best friend. Thanks for makin me a best friend. I cant wait to see her, ‘Rydice” Junie murmured, tiny hands moving over her belly in some unrecognizable pattern at the same time Persephone reached over to smooth the bow in her hair.

“She insists that baby of yours is a girl, and I have half a heart to believe her. My mama said the same thing with her, and even knew what I was gonna call her before I did.” Seph admitted, holding her hands out. “JuneBug come here, your gonna give your auntie a heat stroke in that dress of yours.”

Junie shook her head, wrapping her little arms around Eurydice’s middle fiercely. “No mama-”

“She’s fine, trust me, she makes this more bearable.” Eurydice promised, running her fingers through Junie’s cafe colored hair. “Besides, she’s just talking to her future best friend.”

She was distracted by music overhead signalling the beginning of the ceremony.

The ceremony itself droned on. Speakers of all ages, her inability to locate Orpheus in the crowd, the spring heat boiling around her. She was midway through reading a picture book to Junie when she heard them get closer to Orpheus’ name.

Junie climbed onto Persephone’s lap, jumping excitedly on her mother’s thighs. “Ophie!! Yay Ophie!!” She clapped her little hands, the three year old doing her best to get his attention with no avail.

Eurydice looked up just in time to see him walk up the stairs to the stage, right in time for his name to be announced over the speaker. She felt her heart speed in her chest. She wasn’t sure where to place this feeling- pure pride mixed with pure unadulterated love. Before she realized what was happening there were tears in her eyes. She didn’t even know she was crying until hot tears dropped onto her hand in her lap. Eurydice wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, smearing whatever makeup hadn’t melted off her face.

She would remember to thank Hermes after, for snapping endless pictures of Orpheus, on this big stage accepting a B.A. degree. Yet in the moment all she could focus on was that smile of pride- pride in himself- that Orpheus wore on his face. He worked hard. She saw first hand the extra shifts he took on to save up for their baby, the late nights he spent singing to their baby, the songs he wrote and rewrote to perform for a grade. The early mornings where he made her breakfast before class, the afternoons he spent by her side as she experienced morning sickness into evenings. The mantra he repeated day after day: It’s for us. It’s for our life together.

Orpheus. Who was a nameless baby left to Hermes by his sister. Who was raised by three young adults who hadn’t learned to care for themselves, let alone an infant. Orpheus, who wears his heart on his sleeve. Orpheus, who fell in love with a girl at first sight across a coffee shop. Orpheus. Who was endlessly optimistic. Orpheus, who proposed to a girl after knowing her officially a month. Orpheus, who every day reminded her how worthy she was. Orpheus, who’s entire world revolved around a baby he hadn’t even met yet.

Eurydice was still crying when the ceremony ended, wiping fruitlessly at her eyes when Orpheus found them, that brilliant smile etched on his face.

“Hey guys!” He was as excited as a little puppy, scooping his niece up and tossing her in the air. Junie’s bell like laugher rang out as he kissed her cheek, before handing her back to Persephone. “Thanks for being here-” He kissed persephone on the cheek, before hugging both Hermes and Hades both.

“Think we’d miss this?” Hermes remarked, giving him a firm pat on the back as he hugged him. “Waited a long time for this, boy.”

“Cold day in hell that would be, us not being here.” Hades gave his nephew a firm handshake, before pulling him into another one armed hug.

“We successfully raised a college graduate. And we weren’t even out of college when we got you.” Persephone pulled him down so she could kiss his forehead, hugging him tightly around her daughter. “I’m so proud of you, kiddo.”

“Thank you- all of you. Can’t believe it, really.” Orpheus smiled sheepishly, setting his diploma case down before turning to his almost wife.

He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up effortlessly, so he could kiss her before spinning her around. “‘Rydice? You okay?”

“I just love you so much.” She whispered, her hands cradling either side of his face. “I’ve never felt so proud of someone in my life.” Eurydice ran her thumb over his cheekbone, leaning in and kissing him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and for a moment they were not in the blistering summer heat surrounded by his fellow students. For a few seconds it was just them. Them against the world.

When he sat her down and they pulled away for much needed air, he kept his forehead pressed to hers, arms still tightly around her middle. They smiled at each other, tears still running down Eurydice’s face.

Orpheus couldn’t stop smiling as he sunk to his knees in front of her, nevermind the inevitable grass stains on his knees. His hands wrapped around her middle, as he rested his forehead against her stomach in the most reverent way Eurydice had ever seen. Her breath caught in her throat as he pressed his lips to her belly, a gentle smile on his face.

“Hey baby.. We did it.” He whispered, running a hand down her side. He looked up and met her eyes with his own- now filled with tears too- as his palm was met with a solid kick.

“She’s proud of you too.” Eurydice promised, running her hand through his hair. The pronoun slipped out, as a result of Junie’s rambling. He didn’t question it, not now.

Orpheus rose to his feet, wrapping one arm around his shoulder as he kissed her temple. “In six month it’s gonna be your turn. And she’ll be so proud of you.”

“Come on, you two, we made dinner.” Persephone waved, though Orpheus caught her wiping some of her own tears away.

“I made dinner, she picked the plates.” Hades teased, taking Junie on his hip and wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist. “Noone is getting ramen for dinner tonight.”

“Children, please.” Hermes teased his sister and her husband, shaking his finger. “None of this foreplay at the ceremony.”

Eurydice giggled, wrapping her arm around Orpheus’ midsection. “Come on. Lets go home?”

Orpheus merely nodded, as they began walking. “You look beautiful ‘Ridyce.” He started, but turned back to see Hermes with his camera. “You comin?”

“Go ahead. I’ll be right there.”

They would later see all the pictures Hermes captured. Eurydice holding their niece. Orpheus smiling out to the crowd. Orpheus with his arm around her, kissing her temple as they walked home into their future.

One photo though, of Orpheus on his knees, talking to their baby, tears running down Eurydice’s face as she looked at him nothing but love- that one would remain framed on their wall forever. It would be Orpheus’ favorite for six short months, until it is replaced with one of them with their daughter cradled between them at Eurydice’s graduation that December.

#modern!au #college au #hadestown fic #orpheus and eurydice #orpheus #eurydice #orphydice #Orpheus is always a dilf

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