#cause holy frick its so good

[sirtotallynotatimetraveler]

sorry, been gone for a for a few days. there was this fangame that recently came out and I've been playing it for hours...

um, mostly because I kept on dying to uh.....certain fights in the game,

#undertale yellow #is amazing dude #i wanna make more art of the characters #cause holy frick its so good #ut yellow spoilers #for people who know... #look i was playing pre 1.1 update version #that fight is HARD before that update #undertale yellow fanart #undertale yellow clover

[not-souleaterpost]

20th century boys - scrapped reveals and plot twists?

Don't know if anybody cares about speculating something as hard to proof and irrelevant, but I had a few ideas while reading, which even if didnt come true, seemed to be getting hinted at and with how much was made on the spot I wonder if they were originally the plan...

So not really them mentionened besides random yt comments that may or may not be an alt account of me...

Spoilers of course.

Donkey was supposed to be friend?

Remember how Donkey was first introduced? As the weird kid others ostrociced and didnt really want to include, who actually was very smart and talanted all excentricitys aside.

And he was the first "friend" to die, as a classic misdirection - while having an obvious excuse introduced to fake his death "Oh all his siblings look just like him..." (Also the evil twin angel was really emphasised with the fat bully kids at the start, hmmm....)

Donkey was the one that had the skills and near supernatural abilities while being the classic story of a good kid cracking and turning - tieing the dark subversion if shonen magazine tropes.

His whole skepticism of things could tie into too with him cynically learning that "Oh people want to fall for superstitions for illusions, really friendship is fake as well, so why not start a cult, not like its hard for me to make some tricks..."

The symbol being sent by him would be than a cheeky hint, the intentional start of a goose chase, but no geese will ever outrun a donkey...Even all the showing of Donkey in the first half would not just be as motivation for the middle aged friend group, but a setup for this dark twist, while laying the seeds of the themes, maybe even having Dunkey in his twisted logic think he did it for their sake, to make them be the heroes they didnt become.

Oh and also the whole Aldrin Moon Nasa thing seems to work the best for him - with him being the stereotype of a "I fricking love science" kid (who if I dont misremeber is said to have actually wiaited till it happened and didnt fall asleep, but maybe Im misremebering that part) and also his familys lack of money stoping him from enjoying many activities with his "friends" (even having to watch tv with Kenji...)

Oh and for any "well how would he set it up, was the one injured guy lieing about what Donkey said before he threw him of??? Or was that all part of his plan??!"

And yeah its convoluted and kinda breaks the "trying to figure out a mystery without the author just lieing and pulling bullshit" part - but Urasawa does it anyways, with all the reveals obviously not being planned before getting changed again (as he admits)

Oh and also that applys to the "real" reveal (the first one) - we literally saw the friend guy have an emotional breakdown, say he knows who the real friend must be, remove the friends mask and say he isnt that and then fall to his death

So if the Dunkey twist goes against the story, so does the real one. "Ohnono, you just had to assume that he lied and hired actors for his family and then did a double misdirection plunge to the dead and-" Yeah ok Donkey could have done that too.

but for the other theory

Kiriko/the protags sister had a "virgin birth"

So remember when there was that random detail about "Godzilla being a girl and giving a birth without a father"? And how this godzilla thing getting a callback with the mom saying she is one cause her virus killed that many people?

Well isnt it weird that the actually weird part wasnt adressed? Especially when Kanna was mysterious from the start and that at the same time talks of a "Holy Mother" started, as did all the Christian imagery with saviors dieing, resurecting and the pope (with Catholics having the biggest connection with Mary...)

But then it didnt pay of - guess she really had a secret relationship with a random half-friend of her younger brother🤷‍♂️ Not saying that that is more fantastical than all the magic and conspiracys but still a weird detail, especially with the romance and relationship not being explored at all.

It even seems to be anti thetical, with the sister being very mature and selfless, while "friend" is childish and egoistical (well maybe a certain codependent weird thing makes sense now but ehh...)

Still what would make more sense in a dramatic story with supernatural elements - the model sister suddenly just having a kid and abandoning it without ever telling anyone about the father who she only found out was evil after having a consensual relationship which she didnt really have a reason to hide at the start

Or if she DOES have a miracle birth...

Like Kiriko was literally shown to be a perfect sister, doing everything for her brother, being responsible, taking everyones shit, even sacrificing her well being for her brother and others while having a stoic expression.

Maybe she actually did magically get a baby and that scared here enough to abandon it without explaining because who could believe it.

Or maybe something cause it, something she couldnt explain.

Like Friends "magic" or "science"(magic) - hence why Friend calls himself "the father" - he kinda is, in some way, indirectly, idk

Or, as a subtheory...

Kiriko was friend. Think about it, she would be "the father" if her research developed a way to create a child without a fathers DNA (I mean there is a magic anti-proton bomb, and the virus is also not really scientific), the "father" being the part of her that is the alter ego executing the plan, the magic and the tricks.

But more importantly, it would be the perfect obvious misdirection - they were so busy searching for a boy in their class, missing the obvious girl who was just a few years older, who may even in younger photos, if she could have had short hair as that other girl love interet with the dog as a kid had, may have looked as a standard early middle school boy.

And the thematic motivation would be perfect too - she allways just saw everything from the outskirts, she had to be the older and responsible one, not having a chance to ever play like her younger brother did, being resentful of not being able to have a secret base and alll, especially when the other girl could join later.

The scientific angel is there too, as the metaphor of "being in the space capsule while the others got all the fun and glory"

Also it would be a perfect hiding in a plain sight twist thing "Oh my sister disapeared and left a baby, I wonder who this mysterious masked individual is who seems to know me and my friend so much while even knowing the name of my sisters kid... Guess we'll never know🤷‍♂️" (bonus connection - the concert being "not real rock" could be the sis either trolling him on porpuse, or doing it as a intentional thing while also not understanding why it doesnt work, showing that there is this misunderstading between siblings that could get solves in the end)

#20th century boys #naoki urasawa #theory #scrapped concept #conspiracy #donkey #kiriko #yeah #sorry

[x-0ophelia0-x]

OH!!

Hear me out! I’m about to go absolutely batshit nerdy for a second…

What if the Galaxy that Ezra Yeeted himself and Thrawn to, is the same galaxy of the planet of Thra?

Thra is the home world of the Gelflings in “The Dark Crystal” series.. created by the legendary Jim Henson, who was good friends with Gorge Lucas, I think they worked together on “The Labyrinth” anyway… I just think it would be so awesome if the two franchises were apart of the same universe.. and maybe in this Galaxy the force functions just slightly differently to the way it does in the main galaxy..

For instance.. Thra has a massive Crystal that’s uniquely connected to all life on the planet.. it very well could be a strange form of sentient Kyber Crystal, that gets thrown out of balance in the Force, causing its change into the “Dark Crystal” from the original movie, and the Gelflings??

What if the Gelflings are as a species.. somewhat cousins to the race of Grand Master Yoda & Din Grogu.. like their Home planet is within the same solar system as Thra, and both their species once shared a common ancestor..

THAT’S RIGHT!! I’m saying they’re originally from this other galaxy and THAT’S why so little of Yoda’s species is seen throughout the Star Wars galaxy and why information about their race is practically nonexistent!

…. And also I wanna make a Gelfling OC to be Grogu’s adopted big sister..I love wholesome found family fics

Holy moly.

Your theory is good. Like good good. That‘s explain so much actually.. and with Ahsoka we’ve got so many more options for questions like these ahhhhh!

I‘m going to be completely honest, I don’t know that much about Star Wars history or George Lucas‘s other works but what if Master Yodas race used the Purrgils to navigate themselves to the ‚main‘ galaxy?? Just like Ahsoka did but when they noticed that there was a shift in the force they just stayed on their galaxy or travelled to another??

idk if my Purrgill addition is making any sense but your theory is fricking awesome and would explain so much!!!

[trimisu]

Also character death angst is such a good trope holy frick

Especially when it’s like a fighting scene and the person who loves them the most go absolutely batshit after character dies in their arms

BONUS POINT IF CHAR B DOESNT ADMIT TO LOVE CHAR A

Like idk for example kaeya and Diluc

Kaeyas bleeding out in dilucs arms and makes one last bittersweet joke/reference about their childhood and dilucs mind doesn’t give him the time to grieve.

His body starts moving on its own. Gently putting kaeyas head down in the grass and giving it a small pat before he SPRINTS towards whoever killed kaeya and starts violently hacking away because how dare they take away kaeya from him too. Even though he doesn’t admit it. Kaeyas his most important family leader and now he’s gone.

Ooooh boy that would be so good to read and write damn

Contain/s: death, spoilers from Diluc and Kaeya's lore, angst

A/n: you can't make me go "aww, that's cute" to "why tf does he have to die" while sobbing real quick 🥲 that's illegal!

Masterlist

Red. That's what Diluc sees as he continues to slash and burn the remaining enemies to a crisp.

His breathing was heavy, he felt his arms going numb from swinging around his claymore as his voice became completely hoarse and tired, yet, he didn't stop. The fatuis, abyss mages — they all deserve to die, they shall all feel the same pain that he felt.

The bloodstains on the ground and his clothes — was it his? Or was it the blood of his enemies that he just slaughtered from his anger and vengeance? The air is not fresh anymore instead it was the mixture of the strong smell of blood and smoke from his pyro vision.

Why? Kaeya betrayed him, he should've left him there and let those useless Knights of Favonius handle his lifeless body, yet the memories of him and Kaeya together as kids were flashing right before his eyes.

But deep inside, Kaeya was and always has been his brother, even when their relationship has drifted away, Kaeya is the only family member he had after his father's passing.

As Kaeya's lifeless body came into his mind, he gripped his claymore tighter. Through gritted teeth, his claymore is burning caused by his pyro vision, and swung it, forming a fire-like eagle that knocks and burns down every enemy in his surrounding.

"Retribution!"

They all deserve retribution.

#trimisu #i am just gonna go cry goodbye #genshin impact #diluc genshin impact #genshin #genshin kaeya #kaeya alberich #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya genshin impact #genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact x reader

[throwaway-yandere]

i never read the lyrics for hysteric humanoid and HOLY FUCK IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW

"the lie you've imitated"

"dreams turn out to be alluring traps"

"Thinking that you've come this far just by going with the flow, all you're doing is mocking yourself"

"Even if you start blaming others now; No one will listen to you; Even if you resent them, they'll never reconsider"

"Even today, don't give up on a human heart; Claim it even if it hurts"

"Then is this what it means to be a villain?; Why?; Being idealistic all the time is tough"

i cant believe u tied the song with the story this much its SOOO GOOD

😋 anon

You 🤝 Me

Analysing lyrics and getting hyped over it lmao

I absolutely fricking adore the lyrics to most Alkaloid and Valkyrie songs– actually most EnSem songs in general. They are not only bops but they're such lyrical geniuses?! I want their songwriter's brain I cannot 😭

(once again sorry for late replies. i had to redraw this 3 times cause CSP crashed times aint that wacky--–) Nice one 😋 anon! Have a tatsumi :DD

#ansytea-talks #enstars tatsumi

[businessbois]

what i can only assume is a mixture of business skills, fighting with his words, and tommyinnit’s canonical puppy eyes in action plus a single bonus smpearth clip because frick you its my compilation i get to put smpe in if i want

timestamps and transcript:

1:11:53 TommyInnit fights with Purpled, Tubbo & Fundy

Tommy: “Order! Silence in the court. I hereby declare you no longer a judge, please sit over there.” Tubbo: “Fine.” Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s going to happen. Wha—” [Tubbo walks over to the other side of the courtroom, places a stone step, and sits down. Tommy silently laughs.] Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s gonna happen—” Tubbo: “Wait, what? Wait, how has this happened?”

1:20:27 1:24:51 TommyInnit & Quackity Do a Heist

Tommy: “You got robbed, bitch!” [Eret hits him with his sword, taking half his health] Tommy: “Please don’t kill me though.” Eret: “Tommy. Can I have my stuff back?” Tommy: “Alright. You got some food for me? I’m really struggling.” Eret: “I’ve some carrots. Friendship carrots.” [throws him carrots] “There you go.” Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, thanks, here you go.” [tosses him one of thirteen enchanting books] “Good day.” - Tommy: “Alright, I’m gonna keep knockback two, power four for effort.” [crosses his fingers] “‘Cause I robbed you.” [Eret hits him with his sword] Tommy: “Please don’t kill me. I’m really, really low on HP.” Eret: [laughs] “I’d quite like my book back.” Tommy: “You’re not even gonna use it.” Eret: “Probably not.” Tommy: “Just for ef—participation.” Eret: “Fine, I’ll give you this one since you’ve given back all my stuff.” Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch.”

54:35 TommyInnit & Technoblade take Antfrost hostage

Tommy: “Hand it [Antfrost’s armor] to me now.” [Antfrost takes off all his armor and throws it to Tommy] Tommy: “Oh, wow. That—That was— You really— Oh, wow, you just—” Techno: “You’re a very persuasive guy, Tommy.” Tommy: “Okay. Come with us, Antfrost!” [Antfrost follows]

35:32 TommyInnit, Dream, & Technoblade Team Up

Tommy: “So what I’m thinking, Skeppy, is— I can’t believe— I can’t believe you didn’t convince me to stop drowning, I convinced you to start drowning. Like, that— I’m so good with my words. Holy shit. Holy shit.” Skeppy: “To be fair, how’s he done that?”

27:10 Tommy's Last Night on the Dream SMP

Tommy: “Okay, anyway, but thank you so much for this. Listen, I’ll make amends, uh, provided I don’t die tomorrow.” Techno: “Wait, what did you take?” [laughs] “What did you take from my base?” Tommy: “Not a lot, really. Not a lot.” Techno: “Wait, can I get, like, a list?” Tommy: “Uhh, potions, primarily. And pearls.” Techno: “Bruhhh.” Tommy: “Yeah, ‘bruhh,’ me too. That’s how I felt if I die tomorrow, Techno, this might be my last night. It was lovely seeing your base and the home that we used to share together. Me and you, we’ve really come a long way. I’m gonna leave now.” [Techno laughs]

1:20:02 Sam Is The Villain?

Tommy: “Give me the rest [of the hearts of the sea]. Give me the rest. Give me the fucking rest.” Eret: “I’m honestly impressed.” Tommy: “Give me two more. Give me two more.” Eret: “Two more?” Tommy: “I’ll fucking...” [headbutts her] Eret: “Okay, Tommy, we can come to a compromise. We can come to a compromise. Alright?” [opens her enderchest] “One more.” [she throws Tommy one more heart of the sea] Tommy: (picking it up) “Okay.” Eret: “You happy with that?” Tommy: “Mhm. Thank you.” Eret: “Pleasure doing business with you. Even though I’ve got nothing in return.” Tommy: “Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure doing business with you too, Eret. You owe me.”

1:23:07 Sam Is The Villain?

Tommy: (doing drug deal with Puffy) “Three, two, one.” [He throws Puffy kelp as she throws him five diamonds] Puffy: “Ah, this is the shit right here. This is some good— Ah.” Tommy: “Yes, and I know that because I’ve done drugs.”

35:36 Tommy Is Back Streaming

Tommy: (doing drug deal with Ponk) “I’ll drop you one, you drop me— There’s thirty-nine diamonds per one, yeah?” [Ponk drops 11 blocks of diamonds to Tommy] Tommy: (quietly) “Oh shit, okay. How many is that? Nine times three. Twenty-seven.” (loudly) “Yep!” [Ponk drops him seven more diamond blocks] Tommy: “Ponk your maths is incredible. Your maths. I’ve never met a man...” Ponk: “Thank you.” [He drops him 14 more diamond blocks, a total of 33, as Tommy’s get wider and wider]

40:51 Tommy Is 17 Now

Tommy: “Aw, this is my worst birthday ever.” [crouching in front of Ranboo] “Ranboo, I’m doing the puppy eyes at you.” Tubbo: “Give him TNT.” Ranboo: (nodding at Tommy) “Awwwwww.” [He drops him a golden apple] “Wow, that works really— What was that? That was just involuntary, my god. He’s good.” Tommy: “Ranboo. Oh, Ranboo. Have you got any water bucket?” Ranboo: “I— I do, yeah. Yeah, I do.” Tommy: “The minors want TNT.” Ranboo: (tossing Tommy a bucket) “Oh, wait a sec, what the heck. He’s so good. Wait, he’s really good at this, what the heck is going on?” Tommy: “Yeah!”

42:55 Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy, Tubbo’s Stream April 22nd

Tommy: “Do you want one of my codfish?” Ghostbur: “Yeah.” Tommy: “Too bad. Gonna cost you.” Ghostbur: “How much?” Tommy: “Uhh, what’s the most valuable thing you got on you.” Ghostbur: “Uhhh, I have a netherite pickaxe with efficiency four, mending, silk touch...” Tommy: “Yep! Yep! Yep! Okay, I’ll give you five codfish for that.” Ghostbur: “Okay.” Tubbo: “Codfish should be our national currency.” Tommy: “Oh. Yep, okay. That works.” Ghostbur: “Thank you.” Tommy: “No worries.” Tubbo: “Wow.” Ghostbur: “Tubbo, I just got a great deal.”

8:49 I Upset Wilbur In Minecraft And It Was Hilarious

Tommy: “I took a book, if that’s cool with you.” James: “That’s alright, yeah.” Tommy: (surprised) “Oh. Oh. Nice.” James: “What book was it.” Tommy: [checks inventory] “Oh, wait. Wrong book. Sorry.” [He goes back] James: “Did you want the mending book?” Tommy: “No, I already have mending books.” James: “Did you want the protection book?” Tommy: “I stole wrong.” James: “That’s fine.” Tommy: “I’m not the best criminal, you know?” James: “That’s fine.” Tommy: “I’m still getting my feet on the ground.” James: “Look, man, you want anything, you just got to ask. You don’t need to steal. It’s okay.” Tommy: “Sorry. Sorry. I’m too— I’m used to living the bad boy’s life.” [snickers] James: “Yeah. It’s alright, man. You don’t have to be the bad guy. I’m here for you.” Tommy: “Thank you, James. This is— This is what I needed.”

#tommyinnit #dream smp #mcyt #dsmp #tubbo #eret #antfrost #skeppy #nihachu #technoblade #captainpuffy #ponk #ranboo #wilbur soot #roastedjames #smpearth #clip comp #gets away with so much shit what the heck #also #something about the tommy having nothing but leather armor a crossbow with terrible durability and a handful of sticks in his inventory #while eret stands there in netherite and openly admits that he ‘probably wont use it’ #also also #technos laugh at the end of their call is very important to me #also also also not to debate the canonicity of smpe to the dsmp today #but the implication of tommy being used to 'living the bad guy life' #not used to or recognizing genorosity #little orphan raccoon thief boy background? #just the origin story from that last clip alone makes me think 'im not the best criminal [yet]' 'still getting my feet ont he ground' #'you dont have to be the bad guy' #he didn't internalize it then but 'you dont have to be the bad guy' thats so much

[ghostiewriter]

hi! i’m new to the fandom, and i was wondering if u could rec me some of your fav jiara writers and/or fics? i binged all of ur fics and i’m obsessed with the ship now

OH BESTIE I WOULD LOVE TO!!!

I’ve most certainly forget people and I’m so sorry if I have I’m literally going off memory and dealing with kids jumping on my head at the same time whoops avshsvshvd BUT WELCOME TO THE FANDOM BESTIE!!❤️❤️❤️WE ARE GLAD TO HAVE YOU!!!

So I first have to recommend ‘Pogue Lyfe T-Shirt Company’ by @yellowlaboratory because it’s amazing!!! It’s a pre-canon fic that shows you the pogues growing up and FUCK ITS SO GOOD!! Also anything by Annie in general is just BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN AND HILARIOUS!!

Also the Cinderalla Story AU by @alphinias because I like reading the monstrosity I enabled her into making hehehe BUT AGAIN JORDAN IS A WONDERFUL WRITER AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING SHE WRITES IS BEAUTIFUL!! ALSO READ HER HOGWARTS AU SO YOU CAN HELP IN BULLYING HER INTO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!

She doesn’t have tumblr but I have to recommend one of my fav all time jiara writers Sara aka lemon_drizzle_cake on ao3! I absolutely adore her style of writing and she’s just such a talent!!

I HAVE TO RECOMMEND THE QUEEN OF THE CAMBANK AGENDA AND WHEEZUS CHRIST LOVER HERSELF @hmspogue but don’t tell Alexis I think she’s talented because it will get to her head

Any and every work by @pakfiction is a fucking TREAT to read like?? Her talent?? Is just??? Unmatchable??? MAGAN IS TRULY A GIFT TO THE FANDOM

Also I order you to read the fics by @k-maybank because Jade is literally one of my fav fic writers of all time, let alone jiara fic writer and EVERYONE SHOULD READ HER WORK!!

Also looking for some angst and smut? OFF TO @onlyhereforangst YOU GO AND PLEASE HELP ME BULLY HER INTO WRITING MORE JIARA FICS CAUSE HER WAY WITH WORDS IS BEAUTIFUL AND I NEED MORE!!

The queen of smut herself in this fandom @thecarreras BUT HER SMUT TRULY IS A BLESSING AND YOU MUST MUST MUST READ IT!!!

A jiara classic that everyone must read is ‘Around The World’ by @rae-of-fricking-sunshine which I will read myself at some point💀BUT ITS BASICALLY CANON NOW SO BY DEFAULT ITS THE HOLY GRAIL AND EVERYONE SHOULD READ (also I won’t compliment Annie cause she hates it so you suck bestie❤️)

Also my brain twin @a92vm is an absolute godsend but I may be bias cause we are literally the same person AGSHSVSHSV BUT PLEASE GO GIVE HER THE LOVE SHE DESERVES BECAUSE SHE IS SO UNDERRATED IN THIS FANDOM ITS INSANE!!!!!

The Shadowhunter AU by the beautiful and talented Brazilian queen herself @rcsales is another must read!! ITS AMAZING AND ANA NEEDS TO HE BULLIED INTO FINISHING IT BECAUSE I AM DESPERATE FOR MORE!!!

AND SPEAKING OF BRAZILIAN QUEENS I GOTTA GIVE MY OTHER QUEEN LOVE AND RECOMMEND @kmaybank CAUSE BELLA IS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST PERSON I KNOW AND HER WRITING IS *CHEFS KISS*

Anything by @smileymikey is a treat but her Band!Pogues AU was the first of Mia’s fics I read and UGH ITS HILARIOUS AND AMAZING MUCH LIKE MIA HERSELF!!!

@shaymq7 LITERALLY HAS MY HEART IN HER HAND WITH HER WRITING LIKE SHE IS THE QUEEN OF FEELS AND REALLY SENDS YOU ON A ROLLERCOASTER WITH HER EMOTIONS!!

AND MY FAVOURITE CHAOTIC MESS @falseungodlyhours IS A TALENTED WRITER WHO I LOVE DEARLY AND I CANNOT RECOMMEND HER WORK ENOUGH!! SHE IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE IN THE FANDOM

ALSO QUEEN OF EDITS @kiekiecarrera HAS SOME BEAUTIFUL GIFS AND FICS YOU SHOULD READ CAUSE REINA IS A TALENTED QUEEN AND I LOVE HER TO BITS

AND A PARENTS JIARA CLASSIC BY A FELLOW NAME SHARER AND BUFFY ENTHUSIAST @jjmaybank IS ‘spinning in circles’ WHICH IS A MUST READ IF YOU JOIN THE FANDOM!!!

GONNA THROW IN MY FAVOURITE TWINS @jjskiaras and @interstellarbeams BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE IN COMMON OTHER THAN BEING GORGEOUS? THEY ARE TALENTED QUEENS AND YOU SHOULD READ EVERYTHING THEY BOTH WRITE AND HELP ME BULLYING THEM INTO FINISHING THEIR WIPS!!!!!

@chestnutblondehead is SERIOUSLY talented and I love Rach to bits and I can’t wait for her Disney fic because she will write it👀right Rach?👀👀👀👀👀BUT SERIOUSLY SHE IS SO AMAZING AND BRILLIANT AND GIVE HER LOVE

@dayas I’ve never met someone who could match me in angst and yet PLANNING FICS WITH K HAS TAUGHT ME SHE IS MY MATCH AND I ADORE HER FOR IT!! SHE IS CRAZY TALENTED AND HER WRITING IS A TREASURE AND PLEASE SHOW HER SOME LOVE

#ask #jiara #jiara fic recs #THANK YOU FOR READING MY FICS! #AND WELCOME TO THE CLOWN CLUB🤡

[yalocalrfaircityreporter]

WG Find Of The Day 🔎#2

Hooooooo boooy okay so it was about time that I update this here blog. Sorry for not posting in forever everyone, and as an apology I bring y’all my juiciest and most recent find first!!

So many of you guys perhaps thought in the past “Wow, I really wish we kinda had like an interview for Wordgirl or a panel or something anything that we-“

There was.

People.

There was something out there.

And the ONLY WAY that I knew about its existence was because I saw it on a Facebook post.

Okay so this was posted on the same year that Soup2Nuts closed and it’s basically a panel of a couple of people that worked at Soup2Nuts such as Hanna Bliss, Steve Young, and Dave Trexler, all while being moderated by Alex Berry (you may or may not recognize these names).

There is a whooole lot of good stuff in this thing, but to make a bit easier to find the good bits I’ll list out the moments from certain parts I enjoyed under the cut hehe:

Part 3

They mentioned that for the first episodes of Wordgirl the level of animation looked so inconsistent because they handed parts to people and received them without any double look, so they later changed the pipeline so that each team within Soup2Nuts had a supervisor.

Lots of outakes from the actors occur before designs and storyboards and the like get involved (which makes sense cause Wordgirl’s more script driven) so many don't make the final cut, but for the love of all things good I WANNA SEE THOSE OUTTAKES WITH THE SWEARING PLEASE OH LORD

Holy shoot they called us out people. Hanna called the Wordgirl tumblr fandom out people I dhjdhdjdb

ALSO apparently we haven’t found out every Easter egg going on in the backgrounds of the episodes 👀

Part 4

They confessed that Wordgirl got less and less educational as it went on pfffff we know lol 🧡

I’m surprised to learn that Wordgirl had to be tone down a lot for being too cartoony or that characters shouldn’t drool or point fingers even though I very well remember seeing that so someone managed to slip that past PBS hmmm

There is a fake DeviantArt account these people made for the show. I’m not gonna mention it here BUT I’ll make a post about it cause I diiiid find some more stuff on that believe it or not

Not a Wordgirl related comment, but apparently they were given soo much more freedom with Astroblast (which is another show Soup2Nuts worked on after getting Wordgirl on the tracks) and the fact that they mentioned there was a dog cult in one of the last few episodes just about to make me wanna try watching it

Part 8

At the studio they had a fricking Nerf battle where they had to shoot a target while they weren’t in their seat working sdhfjd awwwww (is awwwww an appropriate way to react to that I just realized)

There is waaaaay more stuff in the videos but there’s only so much that I can type out hhhhhhh. But yeah in case the above doesn’t work the link is https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOrGvhJspBjhD9Rl0V-CmrzRBcHUFd4tG

As always, please stay tuned for anything this pack rat finds!! :D

#wordgirl #wg archive #Hanna Bliss #Steve Young #Dave Trexler #Alex Berry #panel #interview #qna #wg crew #Soup2Nuts #wg find of the day #pack rat chit chat #I feel so bad y'all the crew thought we were gonna find it sooner #and it took us 6 fricking years 😔

[rikalovesrice]

My Thoughts on Trollhunters : Rise of the Titans

WARNING : ALL THE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

.

.

.

Mmmmm. Okay. So I just finished the movie. I’m fatigued as always so this’ll be a bit of a mess lol. Gotta spew the thoughts while they’re still fresh, y’all know how it is.

Right out the gate, I definitely want to talk about the things I loved.

The animation was, of course, phenomenal and gorgeous!

Voice acting was incredible as always

MUSIC SLAPPED

Douxie. I just loved seeing Douxie again and honestly kept my eyes trained on him for most the of movie lol

OK DOUXIE AND NARI SWITCHING?? BODIES??? Definitely didn’t see that coming and I legit started screaming lol

Nari in Douxie’s body is the most precious, chaotic, and wholesome thing like holy cow that was so adorable LOOKIT DOUXIE CROUCHING AND CRAWLING AROUND ON ALL FOURS WITH THOSE NOODLE LIMBS OF HIS I CAN’T --

We called Nari’s mind control and Douxie trying to reason with her!

In the very few scenes they were together, Douxie’s love and affection for Nari really came through. You could really feel how much he cared about her. ALSO THAT TENDER HUG AND NARI’S LITTLE HAPPY SQUEAK MY HEART NO--

Loved Barbara. Always love Barbara.

Walter and Barbara getting engaged

Nomura back in action

Claire being the powerful sorceress she’s become

Loved seeing Aja, Krel, and Varvatos all together again.

NARI VS SKRAEL WAS ALL SORTS OF EPIC AND CRUSHING EMOTIONS.

The way Douxie yelled Nari’s name and ran to her after she died and the remnants of her magic falling all around him, like she was saying goodbye, just *UGLY CRYING*

It was so cool to see Charlie out of his den and flying about like the mighty dragon he is

Loved the Guardians of Arcadia pulling Excaliber out together.

All the gang all going after Bellroc together

YES JIM MY BOOOOOOY

BLINKY DIDN’T DIE

Aarrgh I love you so much

Stuart, what a bro!

We saw a hint of mercy in Bellroc towards the end.

Toby’s death... That was a huge curveball. Jim might as well have cut my heart out with Excaliber as he sobbed over his best friend.

Uh.....um....and.....Er...what else........ .___.

..........Alright so.......It’s about to get a bit brutal from here on out as I talk about the things I didn’t like at all. And the really sad thing is, at least to me, the cons far outweigh the pros in this movie. Because I’m actually having difficulty picking out things I enjoyed, they were so few and far between...which really sucks.

So here we go.

Gosh, where to begin... I guess I’ll go ahead and say this : I’m really disappointed. 

Like as I’m here typing this, I’m just thinking, “...That was it? That was the movie?? The big finale???”

So much of this movie just felt....unnecessary. I hate to say almost like filler. The entire intro re-caping the series really wasn’t needed. And then Toby went and restated it all again when he was being interrogated. The pacing, oh my gosh...Guys, the pacing in this movie was not good. The action started and it never seemed to stop. There wasn’t a single moment of rest, of levity, of our characters just being themselves, getting to know each other, being friends outside of the battle. No Reckless Club Segment. No fun, just... I mean Claire and Aja didn’t speak to each other at all. Douxie and Toby hardly interacted. Steve was turned into a gross male pregnancy joke. Jim and Krel barely spoke. Douxie and Aja had nothing to say to each other. Even Aja and Krel didn’t have any moments together. The list goes on. The whole movie was just go, go, go. And it’s so frustrating because there was time for it but it was poorly executed.

Like was the whole break-in to the Chinese Trollmarket really necessary?? Guys, I really found myself not caring. I didn’t care to see this random side quest involving an insignificant new troll character and a Trollmarket that had little to no bearing on the plot. Did I love seeing Charlie, Archie, Blinky, and Claire? Of course! But these scenes were so pointless. So needless. They could’ve written other ways for all our heroes to go after the chronosphere (Maybe we could’ve had Zoe for crying out loud). But instead this vital artifact was the hands of a character we don’t know and don’t care about in a place that turned out to have basically nothing to do with anything.

Deaths. The deaths in this movie. Because of the pacing in this movie, there wasn’t nearly enough time for the emotional impacts to sink in. Nomura? Gone and the only ones mourning her are Aaarrgh and Douxie, who barely knew her. Walter’s death was handled better since we got to see Jim and Barbara actually having a moment to mourn him. The weight of Nari’s death was singlehandedly carried by Douxie, but even that was over before it started. The immense gravity of Toby’s death, which really got to me, was also short-lived to make way for an ending that...I don’t know. 

ALSO DOUXIE JUST??? BEING OKAY WITH HIS FAMILIAR, THE ONE WHO RAISED HIM AND WENT THROUGH SO MUCH WITH HIM FOR CENTURIES, LEAVING HIM FOREVER TO BE TRAPPED IN THAT DUMB TROLLMARKET WITH CHARLIE LIKE???

“I hope he’s happy.”

WHAT. THE. EVERLASTING. FRICK. 

Douxie’s reaction objectively doesn’t make a shred of sense. Geez, it’s almost like Douxie was expecting Archie to up and leave him someday to be with Charlegmane. Just...what???

What also frustrates me so much is how this movie undid so much characterization and development that happened in Wizards. Or more like all that development didn’t even matter.

What was the point of Steve’s arc in Wizards if he was just going to be reduced to...this?

I was so excited to see Douxie really being a Master Wizard. To see him lead the Guardians of Arcadia alongside Jim. To see him in action as Successor to Merlin and Protector of this Realm.

But no.

Douxie, who had such an incredible arc in Wizards and a character who’s come to mean so much to me in my life, was nerfed and sidelined.

And then time restarts and I can’t help but wonder why any of this mattered at all. What the heck was the freaking point of the suffering, the loss, the pain, the growth, enduring and overcoming so much, the friendships and family spanning across three shows... All gone. Starting all over. Undoing everything, except what Jim went through. As much as I love Jim, I didn’t think he’d be the only character I’d be getting closure for at the grand finale of this entire franchise. But that’s what happened and I really hate it.

Just...all in all, this movie wasn’t satisfying. Not to me. It had its good moments. But not nearly enough. The comedy was misplaced and fell flat. The climax was sorely anticlimactic and didn’t hold a candle to Eternal Knight. The writing, the direction, characterization...For some reason it was all lost and confused and none of it felt right and so much didn’t make sense.

I’m not at all upset with the writers, though, because they still pulled through and did what they could. When the movie did something right, it was beautiful. The things I loved about it I truly adored. No, I’m not upset in the least bit with any of the creative team.

I’m upset with Netflix. I’m upset that Wizards was robbed of the seasons it should’ve had. I’m upset with big cooperations stifling creators. I’m upset that this’ll be it. This is the ending we got and nothing can be done about it.

Aaron did say there’s every possibility for the franchise to continue in some capacity, and I’m hoping for that someday. Because so much, too much, has been left unanswered. So much left to be explored that couldn’t. But until then....I guess this is it. This is what we get.

Now, I want to remind everyone that this is my own personal experience with the movie. These are all my opinions. If you enjoyed every second the movie, that’s wonderful! And who knows how my thoughts will change upon another viewing. But in the meantime, Rise of the Titans really missed the mark for me. I wanted found family badassery and fluff. But nope. Just fighting and heaviness and no payoff. It’s such a letdown...a real shame. 

But yeah...Thanks to any and everyone who read to the end of this haha

I still love Tales of Arcadia. It’s a series that has blessed and inspired me so much as an artist, writer, and as a person in general. I do want to keep making ToA content for a while. Cause this movie isn’t the end. Not my ending, at least.

I’ll continue to hope for more Tales of Arcadia in the future (a Douxie spin-off series please Lord pleaaase). We shall see. Until then, fics and fanart fixing this mess galore haha

Until next time everyone! God bless!

#trollhunters rise of the titans #rise of the titans #rott spoilers #tales of arcadia #jim lake jr #claire nunez #toby domzalski #steve palchuk #aja tarron #krel tarron #douxie #hisirdoux casperan #toa archie #nari of the eternal forest #toa wizards #rika rambles #this was tough guys #sigh #but oh well what can you do? #again I'll always cherish this franchise #but oof #They all deserved better

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

ML Lies Episode Predictions:

There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)

—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.

—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry

—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh

—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!

—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!

—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!

—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy

—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!

—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)

—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind

—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.

Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!

BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):

Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”

Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”

Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting

Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly

Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”

Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own

Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her

Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???

Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc

Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth

But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust

But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees

Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette

Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??

Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???

Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)

Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”

Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized

Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,

But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”

So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret

And then multiple possible ending:

Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me

Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)

Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot

I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages

In conclusion:

—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me

—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA

—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart

Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)

#lies #ml lies #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #kagami tsurugi #ml spoilers #ml leaks #those are both super minor but i just want yo guve fair warning #ml theories #adrimi #adrigami #predictions #ml #long post #angst

[ariaisabitch]

My reactions to Love Is Blind S2 E2

Ok so it's starting right with them seeing each other. That was such an awkward run. Awwww ok never mind they're cute. THE WAY SHE HELD HIS NECK OMG

They're kissing a lot sheesh. I wonder if these people watched the first season. Like do they all know they're gonna go to the same resort, cause last time it was kept a secret.

OMG ITS JARETTE AND IYANNA!! He said "our home" omg love him. 30 more seconds LOL. ah shit, I forgot about Mallory.

I love Mallory too. Aww I like Jarette and Mallory too. Fuuuuck.

I don't know how I feel about this never have I ever. I feel like I'm interrupting something 😭. Sir that blanket is very conveniently placed.

Awww no don't show me Natalie all by herself I will cry. Ew no, I swear if Shaina try's and comforts her I will puke. Ok never mind she walked out. Go yell at his ass girl!

Oh god. I feel like she's just going for Shayne because there's no one else that interests her. Why's he saying completely opposite things between the girls 😭 DID HE JUST? HELLO? AND SHE JUST? GIRL DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH? Ok it's fine he didn't propose it was just girlfriend. I don't think that counts, right?

Bro you don't got a romantic connection with them both, you are just looking to get laid by Shaina and you like how Natalie likes you. God he's such a dick. Shaina girl just walk out. Please for ffs. Spare us this cringey pain. Ik he is not gonna pull the water works to try and keep her. YES SHES WALKING OUT. I HATE YOU BUT IM STILL PROUD YOU DID WHAT NATALIE WAS AFRAID TO.

Why does the men's courters couch look exactly like my Dzadzu's couch? Like exact. IS HE SERIOUSLY STILL GOING WITH THE MANIPULATION? BRUHH?

Ok Deepti and Shake both make me uneasy. They both proudly admitted to only dating white blonde people. That's just.. icky to me. Girl you were just talking about how you don't like him and now you're talking about him being the one? Sheesh.

GOOD. YOU BETTER FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT BEING A SUPERFICIAL DICK! OMG HE'S PROJECTING? Ok wait he's actually being pretty self aware. He's admitting to being a dick pretty easily. That's pretty mature of him. +3 points for Shake. Still at -7 tho.

Shaina and Kyle make me uneasy. OMG YOU KNOW WHAT? THEYRE THIS SEASONS JESSICA AND MARK! THATS IT! HOLY FRICK! LMAO HIS "thanks. So do you" TO HER CALLING HIM SMART WAS SO FUNNY! IT WAS SO UNIMPRESSED! LMAO HES AN ATHEIST AND SHES A MAJOR CHRISTIAN! This is beautiful irony. Def the new Jessica and Mark. "Who's Grace?" LMFAO

Ok workout montage, I see you girls.

I can't tell if it's cute that Shake calls her Deeps or not. Ok he's being pretty mature right now. Oh jeez he has a slow-mo walk. He's gonna propose isn't he? And of course she'll say yes. I mean he's not dressed up like the other guys usually are, but he's being very sweet right now so he gets a pass. A solid -4 right now. Deepti is so pretty dude omg. Am I gonna see them meeting this episode? I'll be upset if not. Them meeting will determine if I like them or not 🤔 LMAO I SOUND LIKE IM SOME COUPLES THERAPIST ANALYZING THE SHOW

Back to Iyanna, my love. Aww she's being so open. Bro she's my favorite, love her. Jeez I like Mallory too. Ok I like them better. I like Jarette more with Iyanna. Fuck ok he's admitting something to her that not many people know. HOLY SHIT BRO. YOU GOOD MY GUY? HIS FRIEND ST@BB3D HIM!? Ok at least he's being honest to her about Mallory. Jarrett with Mallory and Iyanna is the new Barnette with Amber and Jessica. OMG EVEN THE NAMES RHYME. NOT EVEN A COINCIDENCE I TELL YOU.

Ok here's the real test, will he tell Mallory about Iyanna...? HE DIDNT!? NOOO JARRETTE DONT BE LIKE BARNETTE! THEY'LL TALK IN THE COURTERS. Awwww poor Mallory. I hope they actually do talk to eachother. Oh no, now she's back with Sal. I swear if they get uncomfortably sexual again I'm skipping forward. Oh ok, he's singing something. Ok this is pretty cute. I thought it was gonna be like that one guy from the new Too Hot to Handle season, but he's actually pretty good and not cringey.

OH OH SOMEONES MEETING EACH OTHER?? ITS SHAKE AND DEEPTI! Oh ffs Shake I gave you points for not being superficial and now you're talking about immediately slapping her ass. You're back to -6. WHY DOES HE KEEP CONTRADICTING HIMSELF!? One sentence he's talking about not caring about appearance, the next he is hoping she's beautiful. "he wants the most attractive woman in the room" GIRL YOU ARE! YOURE SO PRETTY! DEEPTI LOOK AT YOURSELF YOURE GORGEOUS!

Ok ok they're at the doors let's see if it cuts off to the next episode or not. I can't see my watch time. Ok it's the same episode! Awww he's star struck. He literally looks at her like I want to be looked at. That's adorable. Ok that was cute until the booty part. Ok it's fine she said she likes that stuff. AWWW HE TOUCHED HER FEET. Ok ok maybe it's just cause I'm a lesbian. She really like his behavior that I find icky so he's gonna go to 2 points, no more negative. I can't tell if he looked at her like that as she walked away because of her ass or because he was still star struck by her in general.

Ok we're back to Jessica 2.0. Oh god he left a ring in the pod for her. Oh she didn't respond to that very happily. Are they just not gonna address the ring? She does not look very happy. She looks like she's in pain. AW ITS HIS MOMS RING!! Ok ew I don't like how he's attracted to someone that reminds him of his mom. That's freaky. This is not gonna last long, I'm calling it. HUH? SHE SAID YES?? She had to have done that through stress, she would be more happy. She's literally Jessica 2.0. Didn't get chosen by her #1, so settles for her #2, yet unsure about it. Either that or she's just really drowned in shock.

Ok she's sitting down and crying. Yes girl, it's terrifying, but it's more about how you go through with this. It's about how you handle those obstacles. Is he worth going through the obstacles or not?

Ew we're back to Coach Steve. And that's an insult to the actual Coach Steve. Is he gonna propose for real? Natalie please, this is your last chance. OH FUCK ITS NOT NATALIE!? ITS SHAINA!? Bro you are absolutely fucked. How have you not distinguished their voices right now? LMFAO HIS FACEEE. Jesus why is she talking to him again? She's literally Jessica 2.0.

Said yes to Marrying Kyle, but goes to talk to Coach Steve impersonator to tell him she still likes him.

#love is blind #season 2 #netflix #reactions #love is blind season 2 #too hot to handle

[alrighttherescarhead]

𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒔! 𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒔! 𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒔! (𝐺.𝐷)

Warnings: fluff and swearing.

”Gray, I don't feel so good.” you confess as you waddle over to him. He welcomes you with open arms, pulling you into him - draping both arms around your shoulders - and places a firm kiss atop of your head.

”Shit- you wanna go back to the cabin?” he questions lowly, pulling away a little to look down at you.

”It’s a fricking house, Gray! Stop calling it a cabin!” Ethan yells, sitting on a surfboard - next to Kyle - just a few feet away.

”Bro, shut the fuck up! Can't you see I'm talking?” your fiancé scowls at his twin brother before looking back down to you.

”Would you mind if I did?” you mumble, meeting his gaze.

”No, of course not.” he places a hand on your swollen tummy as his opposite arm snakes around you to rest on your lower back. ”they goofing around in there?”

You sigh with a nod, placing your smaller hand over Grayson's. ”they've been at it all day.”

An enormous grin creeps its way onto Gray’s face as he starts to feel slight thumps against his hand. ”Jesus, you're not kidding!” he exclaims, kneeling down to be level with your tummy. Now he has both hands positioned either side of your bump, along with an ear, wanting so badly to just hear something. Anything.

”You boys good in there?” He coos, rubbing a thumb soothingly over your stretched and reddened skin.

”wait, are they moving?” Ethan asks, making his way over to squat down next to his brother. Grayson nods, still grinning. The soon-to-be uncle was still yet to feel his nephews kick. You take ahold of Ethan's hand and place it on your lower stomach, just in time for him to feel the babies kick.

”Holy shit! Gray, you feel that?” he asks, beaming heartily towards is own twin.

”I feel this every night, bro. Right before I'm about to go to sleep.”

You couldn't help but swoon over the sight in front of you. Both boys had a hand placed on your stomach as they both babbled away to the twin boys inside you. Every now and then, Grayson places a loving kiss to where his boys kick and utters things to them, such as ”you boys need to stop giving your mama such a hard time” and ”daddy can't wait to hold you” causing your heart to beat a million times per second.

As much as you loved the attention your boys were receiving, you still didn't feel good. If anything, you were starting to feel worse.

You place your hand atop of Graysons to grab is attention, earning him look up and lock eyes with you.

”I'm sorry bub but I really need to lie down. My heads going all fuzy.” you murmured, placing a hand on your back for some kind of support. Your fiancé curses before rising to his feet. Ethan does the same.

You were both about to head back to the cabin, hand in hand, before Kyle speaks up. ”Wait guys, can I get a couple of photos real quick?”

You couldn't say no. They were here to make memories, not take naps when you needed to.

”cant we do it later? Y/n needs-” you cut Grayson off by letting go of his hand.

”Make it quick.” you wink playfully, laughing when gray abruptly runs over to his twin brother.

”I actually wanted a photo of you with your hands on y/n tummy”

”no, bro, she don't feel too good. We’ll take a decent photo later, let’s just take this one for now.” Grayson rushes, placing both of his hands over his abdomen.

Ethan raises a brow in confusion. ”Dude, what the fuck are you do-”

”Just fucking do it, Ethan! I don't have time for this!”

”Jesus! This is so dumb.” Ethan complains but complies, nonetheless.

Both boys stood still with their hands placed over their abdomen. Grayson decides to pose with a cute little smile, where as, Ethan goes with the I-dont-know-what-the-fuck-im-doing kind of look.

Kyle chuckles, snapping a photo of your sexy future husband along with your brother-in-law doing the silly pose. You couldn't help but let out a little giggle at their goofiness.

And from that moment on, you knew that your baby boys will take after their wonderful, loving father and childish yet mature uncle E. It was inevitable.

#grayson dolan #ethan dolan #imagine #grayson bailey dolan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagines #ethan grant dolan #ethan x reader #grayson dolan imagines #grayson x reader #grayson #dolan twins x reader #dolan twins #pregnancy #pregnant #concept #grayson dolan imagine #Gray #twins #fluff #my writing

[your-very-rude-neighborhood-ace]

It's ace mace windu hours (maybe aro too Idk)

just like....iT mAkEs sEnsE yA knOw

i mean why else would he love the zilo beast other than the fact that it's like a dragon??? (Well he does have a heart too but that's nOT THE POINT)

BUT he has no idea what asexuality is so he doesn't know that he's ace

cause the Jedi don't do attachment stuff so they probably don't teach the kids about lgbt identities

and oMg palpatine would be a bitch

you know that fuckers aphobic as shit

the hour has changed now its stabbing palpatine hours

aNyWaY

hed probably have a lot of internalized aphobia cause of that :(

why must I hurt myself in this way

just....ace mace

that rhymes holy frick

im not good at writing my ideas I'm sorry

#off topic but #did someone inject my veins with crack as a child cause I act like I’m on drugs all the time lmao #i swear i’m not high #i swear #ace mace #ace mace ace mace ace mace #RHYMES RHYMES RHYMES #what is my life #like srsly what’s wrong with me #someone save me #please #i need it #mace windu #star wars #the clone wars #mace windu appreciation #we stan #pro mace windu #plz make that a tag cause I love him #star wars the clone wars #ace mace windu #asexual

[alloftimeandspacetosee]

Shouting in the Wind, Part3

And here we are, at the end of what I wrote (bc this was the end of the roleplay as well haha)

 I fully intend to write some more, but uhhhh yeah. idk. I feel like it works best when there’s plot going on in the background to interact around?

 no idea. Sort of doing one for some other OCs, but that’s definitely suffering from I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on symptoms.

[1] [2]

~

3:29

rip in pieces: fuk yeahhhhhh

PI Sleuth: I don’t think that’s Morgan, but even if it is - what are you doing up so late?

rip in pieces: it isnt

oh

oh maybe it is

Cap: oops

Should maybe try harder the next time, alright?

PI Sleuth: You should, perhaps, go to sleep now?

rip in pieces: fair

9:45

Sunshine Child: how did you get into his phone?

Best of the Beast: would u believe that i found a perfect prosthetic of his thumb in his bag

The Listener: … No.

Best of the Beast: good, cause thatd be weird

The Listener: Why did you even suggest that?

Best of the Beast: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i am vv tired

rip in pieces: fuckin’ shattered mate aye

The Listener: Please. Don’t do that.

Sunshine Child: how then?

Best of the Beast: oh so u know how its fingerprint locked and i dont have any of the right equipment to get a copy of his fingerprint with me

weirdly

The Listener: Yes, because we all carry that around with us.

Best of the Beast: oh, u do? damn Ash, always prepared

anyway

so im laying there

in bed

unable to sleep

and scruff is whining about his bag and being generally hopless and miserable without him

Sunshine Child: I hope you gave him the pats

Best of the Beast: of course I did, I’m not some kind of /monster/

[pic of Scruff lying across Esther’s lap, belly up and clearly relaxed. Her other hand is resting on his belly, and his head is half crooked up towards the camera, ears flopping back and tongue half stuck out]

and im playing with summers phone bc mine is plugged into the wall on the other side of the room and aint nobody moving that far

Twin #2: #mood

Best of the Beast: and his screen lights up bc someones tryna contact him

(cant work out who bc his nicknames are weird af)

and scruff stretches across to nose at the button and it

it opens???

The Listener: He’s set his phone to open to Scruff?

Twin #1: i mean. if it works?

Sunshine Child: that’s kinda sweet

Actual Dad™: I hope you didn’t snoop too much.

Best of the Beast: what do you take me for i am /hurt/

The Plan™: …

Best of the Beast: only a little. storms ‘’looking after’’ his phone now

apparently i cant be trusted or some shit

Cap: well that’s fair

Best of the Beast: holy shit yall are terrible

here i am doing a good deed for my bro and yall

yall are accusing me of /theft/ and /misdeeds/

the slander

Twin #1: did you get anything good on him?

Best of the Beast: nah he logged out all his apps before leaving his phone n his texts are in some kinda code

The Listener: And there we have it. Esther really can’t be trusted ;)

Best of the Beast: oh got damn

Sunshine Child: nice

Twin #1: buddy got play~ed

Best of the Beast: u guys are the w or s t

im gonna go train w storm

see if i ever come back to u guys

Twin #2: you love us really

Best of the Beast: shut up u arent my real mum

10:15

Twin #1: @pi-whatever the frick

dad

i like that youll call tooth out on her late nights but not mum???

13:23

PI Sleuth: That would be because when your mother is having a ridiculously late night, I am actually sleeping.

Twin #1: fair

Cap: hey, the city never sleeps at night, why should I?

Twin #2: do we need to look up international scandals?

Cap: ha. ha.

[Cap set her own nickname to sleepisfortheweak]

sleepisfortheweak: I don’t think I need to explain myself to you

15:07

Best of the Beast: hey cap how long did u take before challenging ure first league?

like after beating the gyms I mean

sleepisfortheweak: uh

I think I… skipped out the region for a while?

wait no that was before the last gym

is this for Storm?

Best of the Beast: yeah im tryna convince him he can do it before the others get back

sleepisfortheweak: So I don’t think I’m /really/ the best person to judge that

bc I charge on and on and on

but hey it seemed to work

until it didn’t?

Best of the Beast: gosh thats useful

sleepisfortheweak: What I’m trying to say is that he’s going to be the best judge of how ready he is

If he doesn’t feel ready, don’t push him

Best of the Beast: what if he doesnt believe hes ready?

Twin #2: kick his ass

Best of the Beast: wow youre even worse at this

sleepisfortheweak: Don’t listen to her she never did competitive battling

Twin #2: I mean true but

sometimes they just need convincing?

Best of the Beast: and how

exactly

would my

‘’kicking his ass’’

convince him?????

Twin #2: are you passing up an opportunity to beat some sense into someone?

Best of the Beast: this is storm were talking about

itd be like kicking a puppy

a cute one

one that im like

Twin #2: are you

15:20

Best of the Beast: am i waht???

dont leave like that what the fuck

The Listener: It’s happened.

Best of the Beast: what

whats happened

sleepisfortheweak: Morgan

Best of the Beast: W H A T

Twin #1: Aurora’s got it, she’s gone.

So’s Phoe, apparently?

she was on her way here by boat

sleepisfortheweak: did she forget Aurora can teleport

Best of the Beast: i swear u blessed are fckn useless

waht the FUCK is going on?

The Listener: We don’t know.

But Morgan is registering, and Hera’s spiked, I can feel it.

Twin #1: And Phoe phoned

wanting to know if we knew about it

so Aurora’s gone to get her and find the kids

Best of the Beast: why didnt u go?

Twin #1: Don’t know how long they’ll be, someone’s got to keep our job/place/etc

Also it’ll probably be a quick job and Aurora doesn’t need to worry about an extra body to transport when there’ll already be four and herself.

sleepisfortheweak: That’s good thinking

Best of the Beast: yeah ok were not going for the league then

keep us nonmarked in the loop pls?

Twin #1: I don’t know how much we’ll get to know

The Plan™: plus you have a show to prep for

The Listener: Wow, I heard /that/ exclamation all the way down the hall.

[Best of the Beast set the nickname for Twin #1 to elephant that forgets]

Actual Dad™: Are you calling your mother an elephant?

Best of the Beast: i mean.

i thought she didnt forget things?

elephant that forgets: extenuating circumstances.

I gotta go do a Thing

Best of the Beast: good luck with that!!

16:16

Best of the Beast: so no one knos anything?

Sunshine Child: nope

sleepisfortheweak: I know what it is to not be recognised everywhere I go again

it’s beautiful

also, fuck tourists

Best of the Beast: that shows you

never become notorious

sleepisfortheweak: how was I to know what would happen!!

it was a shitty coping method!! I shouldn’t be famous for it!!

elephant that forgets: the trials of accidentally becoming an elite trainer

famousness is not a thing to be taken lightly

sleepisfortheweak: yah but like. you knew what you were getting into

The Listener: I think it must be a thing in this family, because a lot of people seem to know about Esther now as well

Best of the Beast: damn

three generations in

The Listener: They don’t know you as a NightGale, though, they know you as the Tooth Fairy

Best of the Beast: ok quick question

how

thE FUCK

are they talking to you about that???

The Listener: Oh, it was while we were in Azoth, you must have made an impression with your fighting I suppose.

Apparently we look alike in some way.

Best of the Beast: huh

i mean i suppose our mothers are twins

but ure far prettier

The Listener: … Thanks?

Best of the Beast: its true!

ive been punched in the face one too many times to be pretty

sleepisfortheweak: one could say you’re pretty… /striking/

Best of the Beast: …

17:27

Twin #2: I cant believe this is the top chat here

I figured yd have more of a social convo going than that

Best of the Beast: what.

Who dis

elephant that forgets: You couldn’t keep from snooping, huh

Twin #2: I just wanted to see what’s been going on!!

Not fucking much as it happens

Do I carry /all/ the interesting of this family now

The Listener: Morgan?

Best of the Beast: thE FRICK???!

[Twin #2 set her name to The Prodigal Son]

The Prodigal Son: o shit waddup

wait

Best of the Beast: WHAT THE HECK BOI

[The Prodigal Son set her name to Ya Boi]

Best of the Beast: THE FUCK YOU GO

Ya Boi: long story

elephant that forgets: don’t we know it

Ya Boi: oh i guess u have all been kept in the loop

more or less

Actual Dad™: Are you all safe?

Ya Boi: yeah. Yeah, were good.

tired af but well live

Best of the Beast: good

not that i cared

bc u kno

abandoned

no info

left to fend for ourselves

Ya Boi: i thought kari was keeping you in the loop?

Best of the Beast: !!!

first of all fuk u

[Best of the Beast set the name for Ya Boi to proDICKal son]

Best of the Beast: i didnt even kno she was with you what teh fuk

proDICKal son: you… you told us she was coming to join us

Best of the Beast: i didnt think shed gone with u!! fuk!!

thought shed just like. gone her own way when she found out u were all hopless nerds.

proDICKal son: tried to leave her with storm

how is he, by the way?

Best of the Beast: hes good

not that you fckn care

not that you DESERVE him

[proDICKal son set her name to nope]

nope: i mean. true. ive been trying to protect him

Best of the Beast: son yaint done shit

thats my job now

Actual Dad™: Where are you right now?

Best of the Beast: not with us thats for sure

[Best of the Beast set her name to storm protector]

nope: cruise ship

aunt phoe was coming over???

so like

were here to pick up her stuff i guess

storm protector: did

did she forget that aurora can /literally/ teleport

anywhere in the world

Sunshine Child: It isn’t as though she uses that skill much, I guess?

storm protector: fair

but like

????

The Listener: I really don’t understand what you’re trying to get at there, Esther.

storm protector: why would she buy TICKETS on a BOAT to get somwhere in a hurry??

like those things are slow af

why not plane???

why not phone first??

sleepisfortheweak: listen if I dropped my shit and flew whenever I thought the twins were in danger, I’d never have got anythign done

Maybe she thought it wasn’t /that/ big a deal when she set out? The world will never know

storm protector: we might if morgan ANSWERED

18:08

storm protector: also neither of the twins defending themselves??? iconic

elephant that forgets: sorry, Arlette can’t come to the phone right now

storm protector: what

elephant that forgets: because she’s dead.

storm protector: ...

The Plan™: It’s true, I saw it happen.

Shot through the heart by her own mother.

Actual Dad™: Truly dramatic.

She keeled over at the table. In the middle of eating, of all things.

PI Sleuth: That may have been a little bit drastic.

storm protector: and u didnt get a video

for shame

Sunshine Child: We’re eating! it would’ve been rude

storm protector: buddy, so’s using ure phone at the table in general

AND YET

sleepisfortheweak: it’s ok, I’m on good terms with Diaval, I’ll just let him know to resurrect her

Don’t think there’ll be that much change tbh

elephant that forgets: it’s ok, I can perform my masterpiece for you later

that was just the dress rehearsal, I’ll polish it for when we meet back up

also @cap fuckin’ ouch

sleepisfortheweak: hey I care

I could’ve just left you in the dirt

a corpse before your time

dead before your parents

how could you do that to us

elephant that forgets: but instead

you sell me out to the god of vampires

also you killed me??? so like I don’t think you have a leg to stand on

sleepisfortheweak: well, if it works

10:43

[nope set her name to hot shit]

hot shit: @esther, league right?

we’re coming in

storm protector: kk

ruins? or just

hot shit: nah bro clearly right in the centre of the champions room

what do you take us for

storm protector: morgan???

quit stealing phones dammit

hot shit: really?

you think this is him?

I am /hurt/

what kinda son of a snack do u think I am

storm protector: so thats Kari then

suddenly everything makes sense

hot shit: yeah ya mom thought id be more sensible than him

The Listener: More fool her, then.

hot shit: absolutely

storm protector: get out of

The Plan™: if you all kick back there for a while, we’re making our way over

storm protector: *out by the ruins

@Keone, Storm still has to do the league anyhow

The Plan™: By which I mean that our tour has its finale at the league in a couple or so days, which seems like a fitting end to this whole mess

[sleepisfortheweak set her name to sleepforaweek]

sleepforaweek: catch you in my dreams

or nigHTMARES

elephant that forgets: listen if you sleep lightly enough to be woken by chat noises, you should maybe

mute the chat?

sleepforaweek: I appreciate that you thought I was asleep

elephant that forgets: just a suggestion like

Actual Dad™: Or you could turn your phone off

sleepforaweek: these are sensible suggestions

that I am going to continue ignoring

y’all aint the boss of me

storm protector: *yaint

sleepforaweek: See, you get me

Esther’s my favourite

storm protector: hot shit

hot shit: you called?

(Aurora, btdubs)

Sunshine Child: That was a little bit creepy

please don’t

hot shit: couldn’t resist

but really @tooth we’ve arrived

21:03

rip in pieces: fuck it’s good to have my phone back

wait

why is that my name

storm protector: bc u were dead to us

obviously

The Listener: It’s good to have you back properly, Morgan

storm protector: until ure next fuckery, at least

rip in pieces: did you miss the part where that wasnt my fault?

storm protector: idk did u miss the part where i didnt care

Sunshine Child: ouch

rip in pieces: ilu tooth

ilu all

storm protector: thats sweet

whos got ure phone now?

is that scruff has he learned to type

ilu scruff!!!!

rip in pieces: Why can I not profess my love for my family

Whomst I have not seen in a couple of weeks

Why can I not do that? Why must my identity be questioned?

Why do you not believe that this is me, that this is who I am?

storm protector: cap needs to teach me how her eyebrow trick

hang on

The Listener: What is going on?

[selfie style pic of Esther and Morgan; Morgan (still in his aether uniform, hair teased out of its usual ringlets and only sort of tied back) trying to look disgruntled but failing as Esther (in a tank top that says “I flexed so hard the sleeves fell off”, with bright orange hair, her right eye beginning to swell) sprawls across his chest, clearly trying to be in the way as much as possible, grinning wildly]

storm protector: i just had to give summer The Eyebrow in person

but actually it was him, so now were bonding

rip in pieces: oh yes Tooth, you are the best and I love you and this bonding is simply the best you must never bdsfljsf

The Listener: So I’m going back to my book.

Sunshine Child: g’night! I have a level to complete

01:17

[rip in pieces set his name to a gift]

a gift:

sleepforaweek

: Get your arse to sleep, you must be shattered

a gift: aye cap, I’m going

01:55

sleepforaweek: I’m glad you’re all safe, though

Thanks for making this chat, Esther

#pokemon #oc #mainverse #writing #The Nightgales #Text Chat

[quaintqueer]

I don't know what you think about labels, maybe you are the kind of person who watches shows like Marie Kondo where they organise people's houses and put sticky labels on everything so that you can easily identify the contents. Maybe you're the kind of person who does not like to be labelled or stereotyped. Maybe you prefer to be just yourself.

I have had a very complex relationship with labels and identity. You could say that I started off on the wrong foot. My mother went to a Baptist church on Sunday morning and a Charismatic/Pentecostal hands-in-the-air, shouting and screaming, spiritual warfare kind of church on Sunday night. And my dad had his Holy Communion as a kid and then went to mass on Easter and Christmas.  So to begin with my labels were numerous and incongruent which did cause some issues for younger Zoe.

And I want to share with you about where God has led me through the understanding of this topic. I am not entirely sure where to start and I'm not sure how vague to be here but let's just say that at least the draft will be an explicit and partly chronological one.

12 year old Zoe I went to church most Sundays with her family and she was very very lucky to have a wonderful Christian friends in her life and at this point the label attached to her as a daughter was the unproblematic child and at school she was the sweet and friendly member of the God Squad or Singing Christians depending on how you asked. But those were the kind of labels that existed around that time.

What happens though to 12 year old Zoe is that she falls madly and instantaneously in love with her best friend. And almost immediately she thinks ‘am I in love with this girl? that must make me gay.’ And being a part of the circles that I was in a fairly conservative Christian family and a fairly conservative Christian School with Christian friends in that Christian school, I said ‘absolutely not. I don't want to have to deal with that.’ I was never hateful towards gay people in general I just thought I just didn't want to deal with it myself. My mum and I had had conversations about it when the plebiscite happened, and whenever we spoke about it, it was very much about ‘the gay people’ as opposed to anyone we knew or loved, let alone a Christian person, and so this whole gay thing wasn’t really thought about. Ao a few times over the next 2 or 3 years so I would ask, ‘am I in love with this girl’ And I always concluded ‘no no no you can't be in love cos you're not gay’.

By the time I’m about 14, I’ve been awoken to all different kinds of social justice movements, I took sociology, I’m going to save the world. THe labels I proudly wear are things like left wing, passionate, an ally to many different communities, in particular the lgbtq+ community.

Zoe at one point goes ‘frick frack, I'm definitely in love with this girl’. and because of the way that this world really loves labels, this was completely synonymous in my mind with being gay. My first response was probably because I'm bisexual so now that is an importand confusing label Zoë is wearing. I have somewhat fond somewhat mortifying memories of sitting on the Shinkansen, the bullet train, from Tokyo to Kyoto next to my dad doing every single ‘Am I gay’ quiz I could find online. Throughout this trip to Japan, I’m really testing the waters and every single younger woman I saw I was like ‘Is she cute? Am I attracted to her? Would I kiss her?’ and so that experience made me very nervous because I had still grown up with the mindset that if people were gay it was ok but they weren't Christian. And I was a Christian, so I just ignored it really. And this turned into a time of me hypersexualising sll of the boys that I had ever thought I had a crush on. I can quite confidently say that I didn't actually have a crush on many of them, I just thought that that was something that I should do. So there was a lot of ignoring this feeling.

We then reach year 10, 2020, a glorious year. In the first Lockdown, I finally caved and downloaded Tik Tok. The thing about Tik Tok is that it comes with its own world of labels, and I really would enjoy the kinds of conversations about what side of Tik Tok you are on. I loved that your For You Page automatically gave you certain labels to wear as a Tik Tok user, and I loved that those applied to real life. I quite quickly ended up on gay Tik Tok, among other things. I was also very firmly on Black Lives Matter Tik Tok, on disablrf Tik Tok, on Indigenous Tik Tok, so on and so forth. But much of my content was about the lgbtq community and this opened a ahole can of worms. I, at this time, carried a lot of shame for my attraction to women. For a bit of a backstory, I had been so severely heartbroken by this girl - not by her own intentional actions, I think that she was never going to feel about me the way that I felt about her and that was not her fault - but I was so seriously heartbroken that not only did I hold this moral shame but also this like emotional shame of my attraction to women. I felt like it was not a good thing morally and it didn't feel good emotionally because I had to still been really hurt about this girl and I have never really gotten over that. So for the first time on gay Tik Tok, I saw queerness and same-sex attraction as a positive thing not only in terms of ‘hey look these are women loving woman relationships that are working well’ but also ‘whether or not you're dating someone, queer identity is good for you and it's fun to talk about’. And as a type 4 on the enneagram, I love to feel special - not to say that I fabricated these feelings or that any queer person is queer for attention - but I think a big part of me felt validated or special because of my feelings and my queeness. It was like a new club that I could join. And so the labels that 15 year old Zoe wears largely consisted of queer. We had it dropped bisexual a little bit because at this point I was not sure if I like men at all and so we identified as queer or sapphic or bi or lesbian or gay - many of these words along with the left wing, Pro Black-lives-matter, pro-feminism, pro-lgbtq+, anti-colonialist anti-capitalist etc. etc. And I don't want to demonize any of those things - they are not at all negative things, I'm just painting a picture of the different labels that I wore.

Through out starting to come out to my friends and existing for longer periods of time not only on gay Tik Tok but now really searching all through the Internet for more LGBTQ+ identity - as I tried to confirm my traction for women, as I tried to decide about my attraction to men, about what label I should wear, and what it's like being in the LGBTQ+ community different, spaces where we interact, different identities and labels and experiences of queerness. So I really tied myself to this identity and it is I think so much because of the way the world sees labels as I said and so my first response was ‘well if I like girls I must be gay and if I'm gay I must identify that way and that has to be the most important thing about me’ because all the people I was seeing online really loved being gay. They were proud of their identity in their queeness. In the world as much as I think that we like to think we’ve got this ‘your sexuality or your gender identity doesn't matter. Gay and straight and bi and pan and whoever you are, we’re all human’, I think it often the world does like to draw those lines on both sides. Within queer communities there was - obviously ironically and satirically - this heterophobia honestly. (I'm joking!) But there was a real pride in this identity of whichever specific label you wear as well as the wider lgbtq plus label which led me to believe my sexuality was who I was. And that proved really quite awkward because I knew that my church and my family and many of my Christian friends believed that same sex marriage and romance was sinful. Because of the strong connection between my identity and my sexuality, if my sexuality was sinful, that meant that I was inherently and completely sinful and I didn't like that. It wasn't a fun feeling. After all of the years of learning about God’s gift of grace to us, kind of I lost in the crevices of my mind and whenever I thought about God I was met with feelings of shame and fear and dread and resentment sometimes even anger and I grew to be so despairing.

Eventually I tried the various progressive Christianity movements that teach that ‘God doesn't actually say the being gay is a sin, the Bible is pro queerness and don't even worry about it, God made you exactly the way that you are and he loves you the way that you are, go forth and have that lesbian relationship that you so desperately want’. But that never really sat right with me. It brought up other questions of ‘well if the current translation of the Bible says things like marriage is between a man and a woman, God made man and woman, any sex outside of marriage is sinful, or even the parts that say that ‘homosexuality is sinful, or man lying with man in certain translations, is sinful what happened to that part of the Bible?’ And of course I heard the response about how at the Bible was written by man and not by God and that it is fragile and can be manipulated and basically King James ruined the whole Bible when he wrote that translation and you don't have to listen to it. But that really didn't work for me. If that part of the Bible had been mistranslated how could I know that the rest of the Bible hadn't been mistranslated? If words like homosexuality weren't in the original text and they had been added there or mistranslated how could I understand the words like grace and love and hope and patience and kindness and peace and righteousness and holiness and justice? What if they were mistranslated? What if the whole Gospel was not how it was written in the Bible because the Bible was man-made? Pretty immediatelyI decided I couldn’t really understand a Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin because Christianity is written in the Bible and the Bible says that quite clearly. I believe that the Bible is directly the Word of God, that it is perfect, that the way that it is translated - obviously different translations vary - but that it is right from God’s mouth so imediately was like I can't believe in it Christianity where homosexuality is not a sin and so I've got to pick Christian or Gay.

And I didn’t want to choose Christian because I had this point has grown quite fond of being gay and I mean, I was truly just attracted to women, right, like I wanted a girlfriend and so I tried really hard to ignore God. I was still going to church, twice or three times a week and all that, and I could not shake the existence of God. I knew God existed. I knew that He created the world, that He was good and that they was the thing called sin that separated us from him. I knew that sin led to death. I knew that He had sent His Son to bridge the gap between himself and sinners. I knew that Son was Jesus and that He died on the cross and he rose again and I knew that if you believed in him you would spend eternity with God which was a really good thing. I could not shake those feelings, all those beliefs, and I absolutely praise God for that. I'm so beyond grateful that God did not leave me, even when I hated him and resented him and felt so much anger towards him. Praise Jesus!

All this left me thinking, well some people could go to heaven, but God hates me because of my feelings. He does not want me part of His kingdom if I'm gay. I can't ever go to heaven because I'm a sinner, and sinners don’t go to heaven. I truly don't know where all my years of learning about the grace of God had gone. This led me to a really distressed position, probably one of the lowest ever my mental health had been. I was just not coping and I ended up being kind of forced to tell my mum. I don't really want to say too much on this part of the story but by the middle-ish end of year 10 I ended up coming out to my mum and she told my dad, ‘cause I refused to do it myself, and then I got a therapist. Finally, now that my mum knew, I could ask her what I had so desperately wante to ask her - if she could please buy me some books about being gay and Christian. And so she did. And I slowly but surely started to read them, I started to read my Bible more and I started to really search for what it meant to have faith trust in God’s grace and not in your own work, not in your own actions or thoughts or words. The first book I got in particular was really hard to read it was based more on specific Theology and not on personal experience and I needed that foundation in what God really said because I had just had conversations with my mum and she had reminded me ‘God is real and he loves you and he sent his son to die for you and that is an option for you as much as it is for anyone else, your queerness does not separate you from Christ's death and resurrection’. There is a wonderful bible verse that became very important to me at this time. Romans 8, the very end of the chapter, says ‘for I'm convinced that neither death not life neither Angels not Demons need of a present or the future and or any Powers neither height nor depth nor anything else in All Creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our lord.’ So with this in mind, I decided that I could trust God and now I just needed to learn how. so I worked away through different books, through different parts of the Bible, praying really hard, searching online and asking really hard questions to some really awesome Christian women in my life, and asking God to reveal to me exactly what he thought about me and about queerness and so eventually we get to the present moment. I by no means know everything that I wish I knew, but now I can say that I wholly trust God with my next life - I trust that he has the power and the strength and the holiness to overcome even my sin which sometimes feels like the biggest there is. and I trust him with this life - that life with him is so much better than any lesbian affair I could ever experience.

I want to personally apologize to any one who the church or the world has ever made believe that they are somehow exempt from God’s love because of who they are or what they've done or how they’ve felt. That is false. There is no one that does not sin, no one that is not inherently separated from God. And there is no one who is too far from Jesus' power to be saved from that sin. God is bigger than your sin, I promise you.

I want to take this time to mourn for the lives lost and the joy and peace forfeited because of the way people who claim to know God treat queer people. I'm sorry if you have been made to feel less than because of the church. In the process of overcoming of guilt and shame that I have felt over the year, one more verse that I found really important. 1 John 1 says that ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.’

So for me, I don't identify with my sexuality. I don't want to say that I'm straight now, that's not really true. but my sexuality is not what makes me who I am. I am a person fearfully and wonderfully made by God and I am a daughter of God in Christ. I am not ashamed of my feelings. I do think that it is worth mentioning that an attraction or a desire or an impulse is not the same as a sin. The Bible tells us that Jesus himself was tempted in every way and the Bible also tells us that Jesus is blameless and never sinned. And so I think it's worth the clarification that same-sex attraction or anything like that is not sinful itself and also that being gay is never worse than anyone else's sin, and it is never ever bigger than God.

I just want you all to know that there is nothing that you have done that makes you exempt from God’s love for you, to know that he is trustworthy, that the Bible is trustworthy, and I encourage you that your value is inherent as a person made in God’s image and that with Jesus, you can have identity in his son alone. When he sees you, he sees the goodness and perfection of Jesus if you believe in him.

[impulsivelycontentious]

No one reads this or connects it with my other online identities but since I've removed personals involvement from my other social media stuff, and I feel like bitching, I am jsut gonna go ahead and do it.

So I have brain damage. Yeaaaaars ago I threw up so hard I actually ripped open the inside of an artery in my neck, and it threw a clot, and that clot did some nasty shit on its way on through and out.

No doctor noticed for two weeks.

Everyone else did.

Good times.

Anyway.

So now I have a damaged brain. Brains don't grow back. Some areas can regenerate a few cells - notably the prefrontal lobe - but mostly brains fix themselves not by regenerating like skin does, but by rearranging the cells we have to fire to fancy new configurations.

This has been quite the ride. Because shit, it changes things.

I don't even know how much of my personality is consistent. No idea. Let alone everything else.

I have memory loss my nurologist won't akowledge because it falls short of dementia. That was the bar. "You don't have dementia, you know what year it is." Gee thanks there chief.

Anyway.

My brain wasn't too stable to begin with. I have always been prone to logic leaps that occur very quickly and not necessarily in ways other people would make them. My mind is jumbled and a little random and things collide all the time that probably shouldn't.

This has become much worse since the brain damage. See, my brain keeps wiring shit together. Shit it really shouldn't. It changes who I am, what I think, what I can think.

It's actually quite terrifying to realise you're a sack of geletine misfiring lighting at itself.

So anyway. To the point. Yes - I have one of those. Probably. It's somewhere in here.

Oh right, no, another detour. I'm autistic. "Oh yeah, they definatly didn't screen girls when I was a kid because how the fuck did they miss this otherwise" autistic.

Back to the point.

Recently I had this sensory processing ... Whatever the fuck that was. I call them.idssocistive episodes. I don't know how accurate that is. But my mind unhooks from my sensory data. Everything feels muted and unreal - sound, sight, touch, heat. Name it. It's wrong.

I hate these.

It gets particularly nasty because there are nurologicsl consequences. See, my concious mind ramps up it's interpretation of sensory data. It goes all in and leaves the rest of my existence stuffed in this tiny little box without enough space to do dick.

One effect of this is I suddenly become highly obsessive. I think it's a comfort mechanism, I require the same stimulus over and over again or to somehow mentally connect it to the same element. Of course, it could also jsut be that obsessive behaviour towards interests is part of who I am. I am autistic. I DEFIANTLY go all in when something fascinates me. But not... Not like this.

Do you have ANY IDEA how many times I watched starwars 8 in 72 hours? Any clue? Holy fricking ... Something. I watched it fast. I watched it slow. I watched it skipping ahead 10 seconds every 10 seconds. I dissected that thing in micrscopic detail.

It gets better. Because mere hours before I got hit with this episode... I was not a starwars fan.

Nope. I watched it. It was ok. I wasn't going out of my way for it.

And suddenly. Wham. Episode 8. All the time. I watched some 7 and 9 as well but it was like it was entierly because eit was connected to 8.

I cannot even.

And while this is happening, *I know*. I know. I really do. I know this isn't my normal behaviour. I know this isn't my wheelhouse. I know something is deeply, deeply wrong in my brain.

I think it might actually be an ok movie, honestly. But not THAT good. And now it's one of my favourite things. Forever. I have no idea if it's actually good. Did I not give eit a chance the first time? Is my obsessive brain simply emotionally hooked up how? Fuck, I don't know.

So that's why I'm posting today. On this day. May 4th.

I'm seeing a lot of star wars today and it's making my brain tickle with it's own ridiculousness.

Not the whole point though. Because it lasted 72 hours (I watched dit one more time after that and if wasn't near as intense).

But what happened AFTER my 72 hours as an obsessive raylo (oh yeah. I went there. I'm not even ashamed. I am also compeltely content with the end they got, because I do not see that shit working out).

Brains don't regrow. They rewire.

And suddenly, I'm drawing. Like... A lot. I filled pages of doodles. Sketches. I redrew a peice I'd been working on for about a month in a few hours and damnit, it was good. It's not professional quality but I'd never down anything that well before. This goes on for another day. And then I started a story, and I wrote 2000 words all at once.

I'm dyslexic. And words are severely impacted by my brain damage to the point it can cause me phsycial pain to force my thoughts in to words.

And here I am. Going nuts on my phone. The words just spilling out and again - damnit, it was good shit.

My brain was abstracting. Where the concious sort had been shunted, it wasn't directing the abstracting aspect of my mind.

And I was making cognative leaps. My brain was wiring itself together for creativity.

For another 24 hours.

And now, dear reader, we get to now.

I have written 200 words in the last 2 days. They feel wrong.

I started and stopped a dozen images. None of them feel right. And there are objective quality differences.

I can still draw a bit. If I'm not tired. I'm almost always tired - it's neural fatigue, it comes with surviving a brain damage.

I have somehow brain damaged my way in to better skills.

And it's... It's not a good feeling.

Doing it the first time and watching something take place in front of my eyes I don't recognise was like magic. It was euphoric. Amazing. Exciting.

Realising as time wears on that the ability to do this is intrinsically tied in to the way ones brain handles brain damage and sensory processing issues?

Not a great feeling cats. Not at all.

I find myself staring at a document willing words on tot he page that just aren't there anymore and feeling so frustrated I could scream.

Whose idea was this anyway? Why can't I keep my rewiring?

It's so hard dto explain the feeling of loss.

It's not me who did these things. A version of me, yes. But not the one we are keeping.

The one we keep struggles to hold a narrarive in her head and the narrator's tone took 3 rewritten to preserve for a single paragraph.

I don't want to stop. But how do I keep going? I'm not the author anymore and I've always struggled with adopting the tone of others.

So yeah. That's where I'm at. And I wanna talk about it. Because I don't want to be alone. But I can't escape the feeling I'm being dramatic. Terribly dramatic. And so talking about it is hard. How much is my own spin and perception and how much is real?

Did this really happen?

I think it did. But like every story I tell, I don't know. Memory loss. Cognetive issues.

I just wanna tell stories and draw. But the words hurt and the art makes me tired.

It's frustrating is all.

I hate being lighting geletine.

In case you're wondering what kind of cognative leap happened:

That one is april 4th.

And that one April 28th.

🤷‍♀️

Fucked if I know, really.

#brain damage #star wars #wtf was that #autism #writing #drawing #spd #art #experiances #ramblings #and why not #so tired #and now i have a headache #i have no idea why Im even writing this #weirdly obsessive brain #just brain stuff #neurology #neurodivergent #brain damage is fucked up #that time i was brain damaged and joined a fandom #its not a bad fandom. im just confused. #i dont get tags #lightning geletine #i miss me