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theaquamarinearchives · 13 days

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[ fake it til you make it ― childe ] "'cause i'm a real tough kid, i can handle my shit. they said, "babe, you gotta fake it til you make it" and i did." cw. gn!reader, angst, hurt/no comfort, idol!au, refers to him as ajax for most of the fic, petname (darling), light swearing, toxic workplace, reference to drowning, mentions an unhealthy relationship, post break-up, bottled up emotions (get some help), use of y/n, not proofread

aquamarine's findings. first work on a new blog & also the first of many ttpd songfics... this was way longer in my head, i struggled to put it into words… // i can do it with a broken heart, taylor swift.

since that god forsaken day, life had began to feel like tidal waves, far out at sea. rough, tormenting and pulling your body further and further under with each lap of foaming white waves until you were lost in the riptides, suffocating as water fills your lungs. no matter how much you held your breath every time you were pushed under again, you were beginning to tire; cold, shivering, limp. yet you would continue to hold your breath, bracing yourself for impact. the sky darkens and there's another wave approaching you, ready to shove you below the surface. your eyelashes flutter, accepting it - maybe this is where peace hit you, finally.

"y/n?"

your eyes snap open, quick to squint at the harsh white light of the room that welcomed you back to reality. oh, yeah. you were taking a bath after your schedule for the day, your limbs aching from the hours of practise and rehearsals you'd endured. slowly turning your head towards the bathroom door, you settle back into the world - what was left of it for you. it wasn't much, hollow and void of his presence as your eyes catch the bottle of his shower gel on the side of the tub that you simply couldn't bring yourself to get rid of. after all, it was evidence that the whole affair wasn't a figment of your imagination or some publicity stunt despite the fact you were definitely beginning to question if it was the latter in the end.

"yeah, sorry," you call out, barely above a mumble as you shuffle to sit up from the miniature waves of bath water that was licking at your cheeks like a cat. the sound of the water is all that fills the silence as it trickles and splashes around you, "i think i zoned out."

"you think?" the shrill voice of your manager retorts and you can almost picture her on the other side of the door, her bony hands on her hips hugged by a pencil skirt - she must own millions, - and tight up-do of a bun she keeps greying hair in daily, "y/n you've been in there two hours."

you bite back the urge to let the words 'is that all?' escape your chapped lips, choosing to wet at them with your tongue instead as you finally move stiff limbs to raise out of the bath, pulling the plug and wrapping the soft cotton towel around your shivering body. shivering like you're still keeping your head above water, barely able to breathe. tired eyes land on the sight of your reflection in the bathroom's vanity mirror, the dullness of your eyes standing out more than anything when you realise you'd long lost the sparkle in them when ajax had called off the relationship.

the longer you stare, the longer the person in the mirror doesn't seem like you; not the you you've always known nor the you you've built for the public eye, for the job you buried your youth in. you were an idol, claimed by the critics to be "born for the spotlight" but in reality, it couldn't make you any less than anxious than it already did. all those eyes on you, their whispers and their stares when your life - your business - becomes the hot topic of their dinner conversations, perhaps gossip over coffees and pastries.

at the end of the day, you were nothing but a person on the stage, the screen to them and the world would still keep on revolving.

━

it was a brief relationship but it meant the world to you. indulging yourself in an affair regarding fellow industry colleague ajax wasn't your brightest move but as the months mellowed out, summer's green grass turning into autumn's golden leaves, it turned into something you didn't regret. the word 'regret' feels bitter on your tongue now despite you still not regretting it but maybe, just maybe, you could have saved your fragile heart in advance. in the end, you learnt that when he said he'd 'love you with all his life,' it was a life cut too short.

ajax - commonly known to the public as 'childe' - was a rapper for an idol group from snezhnaya, one that particularly blew up on social media right now in a popularity burst across teyvat. you'd have few interactions here and there before the two of you reached out to each other on instagram - you learnt that you should have just ignored that dm request.

when you blink, you're back at his side backstage to one of his performances. he's mic'd up, stiff gel in those ginger locks and his freckles so rudely covered by a thin layer of foundation. there's a grin on his face as those icy blue eyes look down at you while a make-up artist brushes the faintest of lip tint onto those plush lips. there's no chance you're stealing a kiss now unless you want to be scolded by his staff team.

"lost in your thoughts again, darling?" he chirps teasingly, nudging you with his elbow. a weak smile filters onto your face as you nervously glance around the dressing room. was this really what you wanted in life? ajax's arm ropes around your waist, his grip tight as he has no intentions to let you go.

and he doesn't, at least he didn't have that intention at the time. every time his eyes landed on you, he saw something fragile, a porcelain dish held together by the kintsugi that was your job as an idol. something he could mould and he knew he could, he was determined. how was he so sure he could? because you'd do anything for survival, even if it means battering your happiness with a baseball bat.

that's exactly what ajax had done with you; moulded you, shaped you and made you co-dependent on him. it had only been a few mere months but you really couldn't live without him, even if it was damaging your job and reputation. he twined you in his fingers like putty, lacing you in and out of every knuckle as he held on tight to you - and then just as the high was starting to fade, he dropped you, shattering you on the ground in a heartbeat.

when you blink, you're staring at yourself in the mirror of your own dressing room and the echo of shattered fine china rings in your ears until your gaze slowly drifts to the staff member by the door, her shaking hands holding an empty tray and her panicked gaze on the broken plate on the ground. there's a furious expression on your manager's face and you brace for the impact that comes but there's nothing, not a word.

instead, the room returns to normality. faces blur as they scurry about and you furrow your brows, looking back at your reflection so that the stylist can continue to work with your hair - you know you're going to hate what he does regardless. your manager's heavy footsteps stop to your left, her arms folded across her chest as her hawk eyes narrow at your reflection. you imagine she's scrutinising every detail of your body and that only makes your heart beat faster.

"you need to move on from that rapper, y/n," she states bluntly after a few moments silence. your breath hitches in your throat, eyes refusing to look up and meet that piercing gaze, "it's affecting your work and the media are catching on."

"i know," you mumble shamefully, unable to find the words to fight back against her. your heart aches for him, wanting to fill the void he's left and to grasp why he did what he had. it wasn't something you'd ever just 'move on' from, "i'm sorry, i'll work on it."

"it doesn't need 'working' on, it needs to happen right fucking now. do you want to cancel this tour early?" her tone is bitter and there's finally a sting in your eyes despite not wanting to ruin your make-up artist's hard work, clearing your throat in a fragile response to her words, "you've got to start faking it. he's only going to hinder your progress if you don't."

"no, i don't. i'll move on, i promise."

━

lights blind you; the flashing of cameras and phones alike paired with the stage lights and accompanied by the cacophony of screams that come from your fans. a wide grin covers your face, eyes twinkling as you start the first song of your tour's setlist, holding a microphone in your shaking hand. perform, you tell yourself mentally. perform and they'll never be able to read what's going on in your head, they'd never understand if they got a glimpse into your world.

as the crowds scream for more, unharmoniously belting the lyrics along with you, you're glad that they don't notice how ajax has been avoiding you like the plague for weeks, negligent to the way that you are still utterly obsessed and infatuated with him. they don't notice from afar how crystalline tears decorate your eyes while you perform, centre of the stage and under the watchful eyes of the whole world, ready to criticise you if you break.

you're tough, the voice in your mind tells you with a slight waiver in its words as if it doesn't believe itself, you can handle your shit.

the archives' notifications. @bisexuawolfsalt, @lovingluxury, @auroratumbles, @ryuryuryuyurboat

#: recorded in the archives #genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin childe #childe x reader #genshin angst #childe angst

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getosbf · 9 months

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MTP Masterlist

Me And My Husband :- [fluff | oneshot | 1691 words] Summary: I like fluff. I like horses. I like sherliam. Not necessarily in that order. (Sherlock tries to court William. He wants to be the Prince Charming for him I am very serious about them. Set in NYC when Liam had the bandage eyepatch.)

Angels like you can't fly down to hell with me :- [angst with happy ending | 7/7 chapters | 19,396 words] Summary: Soulmate AU where you dream of a single moment of your future with your soulmate. As the end of the final problem draws near, William is more and more convinced that his soulmate dream must be false or of a past life, because he can see no possible way he and Sherlock Holmes will have a future of drinking coffee made using a handkerchief for a filter in a cozy apartment with no curtains.

Partners (In Crime) :- [fluff | oneshot | 2315 words] Summary: When William and Sherlock find out a local restaurant has been cheating innocent people out of their money, the former Lord of Crime and Hero of London take it upon themselves to serve justice. But it seems they chose to have quite a bit of fun in the process.

Feverish Fondness :- [fluff | oneshot | 2315 words] Summary: "Even the walk from the kitchen counter to the couch had felt impossible, legs shaking under him as his 'minor' headache turned skull-splitting. Silently, William cursed himself for going out for groceries in the rain the previous day. 'Liam?'" / In which William James Moriarty gets sick and Sherlock Holmes takes care of him.

A Bleeding Nose And A Blessing :- [fluff | oneshot | 1054 words] Summary: Sherlock Holmes comes to Mycroft's office with a gold ring on his finger, and the elder Holmes is smart enough to know what that means. / Sherlock marries William and goes to Mycroft to get his blessing hehe

Cotton Carnage :- [crack | oneshot | 1083 words] Summary: PILLOW FIGHT IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS / Bedding provided for late session became ammunition when Lord Moriarty threw a pillow at his parliamentary boyfriend in the middle of a meeting

Sorry About The Blood In Your Mouth, I Wish It Was Mine :- [songfic | hurt/comfort | oneshot | 1055 words] Summary: Some write about the hero saving the day, some write about the happily ever after, but who writes about the gap between them? Staining your hands with scarlet leaves you ridden with guilt. That's a tale as old as time. And when there's someone to kiss your crimson palms and not worry about the blood in their mouth, it isn't easy letting that happen. After all, it had always been easier for him to hold a sword than a hand.

The Five Times Sherlock Holmes Got Constructive Criticism From A Stranger And The One Time The Stranger Was His Boyfriend :- [crack |6/6 chapters | 5449 words] Summary: Sherlock works at a diner. William loves going to said diner. Problem? William is a little infatuated by the pretty chef and so the pretty chef in question finds anonymous notes every other weekend. Sherlock, too, is more than a bit interested in this secret "Lord Of Cuisine" and makes it his mission to find him.

Until It Killed You :- [wip | reincarnation au | modern au] Summary: "Hear me well and clear: fate does not change for anybody. But you defied me. You tried to die. You tried to die and leave him behind. And now he is dead and you are left behind." In which William James Moriarty defies fate for his ambitions, and pays the price for it by having his life's only love taken away. It's up to fate itself to decide whether he deserves it back or not. Though one thing is for sure: he would have to atone for defying it. But can he? While his lover wanders through the lonely valleys of the afterlife, he is a mere ghost lingering in the night. Both grieving each other as a soul grieves a body. And all they can do is wait.

#moriarty the patriot #sherliam #yuukoku no moriarty #william james moriarty #sherlock moriarty the patriot #Mtp fanfic #yuumori fanfic #yuumori

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dira333 · 4 months

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Already Gone - Osamu x Reader

Songfic, requested by @missalienqueen for my last Follower Celebration (250)

Warning: Angst, Lover's to friends

My Mama mapped out the road that she knows

Which hands you shake and which hands you hold

In my hand-me-down Mercury, ready to roll

Even at six years old you’ve got your mother's backbone and your father’s talent for getting lost in the clouds.

“Hey!” Someone waves their hands in front of your face. “We want to play ball! You’re in the way!”

You reluctantly take your eyes off the clouds above you and squint at the boy. He’s taller than you, with a dinosaur bandaid over his nose.

“Can’t you play somewhere else?”

“No, we always play here!”

“But I’m watching the clouds!”

“Samu!” The boy yells, “She doesn’t want to leave!”

You blink in surprise when the boy appears again, need a second to realize that you’re not seeing double.

“You have a twin?” You ask, amazed. “That’s so cool.”

The first boy points his nose at the sky but the second boy looks a little kinder, offers you one of his apple slices, his hands sticky when he hands it over.

“Your hairpin is cute.” He points out and you touch the little pin with the Onigiri on it.

“Thank you.” You tell him sweetly. “My Papa made it for my Mama. What’s your name?”

“I’m Samu. This is Tsumu. He’s dumb.”

“I’m not dumb!” Tsumu complains right away, slamming his feet into the ground and lunging for the apple slices.

You laugh. You like Samu.

By the time your mother calls you inside, there’s a bruise on your cheek and a grin on your lips.

You’d played ball with them for a while - to please Tsumu - until you didn’t want to anymore, ready to lay back down and look up into the sky.

Not that Tsumu took that decision lightly.

“What did you do?” Your mother asks, wiping your face clean of dirt. “Don’t you know that it’s better to play nice at first? You can still have some time alone but we only just moved here. You need to find some friends.”

“I did find some friends.” You point out. “I like Samu! And Tsumu isn’t that bad.”

She sighs, fingers the collar of your jacket, a piece she’d worn herself as a child, a hand-me-down that came with more than just memories.

“I just want you to have it easier than I did.”

“I do, Mama.” You remind her. “I have you. And Papa.”

She sighs.

“Yes, you do. Go get him for dinner. He listens to you more than me.”

She knew that I had to go

And hangout, make lots of noise

And lay out late with a boy

Make the mistakes that she make ‘cause she knew all along

I was already gone

Everyone at school says that your mom is the nicest, so laid back, young and pretty.

There aren’t that many rules at home. You’ve got a phone before anyone else and no one scolds you when you hike up your skirt, wear it shorter than anyone else.

But that’s because your mother doesn’t believe in rules you’ll just break, knowing you’ll just make the same mistakes she did.

After all, you’ve got your mother's stubborn head and your father's penchant for getting in trouble.

“Atsumu, Osamu! We’re home!”

You’ve met their parents briefly, in passing. They are strict, but not unbearably so. Not with two boys determined to bring trouble.

There’s just one rule they know they’ll never get out of no girls in their room.

You climb out their window, stick your tongue out at Samu’s worried face as you jump the last bit.

You both know you’ll be back here tomorrow.

Life is a runaway train you can’t wait to jump on

“What would you do for the rest of your life if you didn’t have anything to be afraid of?”

It’s one of those rare days where Tsumu has gotten lost with Ginjima and you’ve got Samu to yourself.

The sky is the perfect mix of soft blue and cotton clouds and there had been enough money between the two of you to buy pork buns and Mochi.

“I’d paint.” You answer. “Travel the world and do something crazy everywhere I go. You know, like Papa! When he painted the pattern of his shirt at different landmarks in Europe.”

He nods, looks up at the sky, and points at a cloud.

“Doesn’t that cloud look like an Onigiri?”

“What would you want to do?”

Osamu shrugs, bites into his pork bun to save time.

But you’ve got the patience his twin sorely lacks. And you’ve got the kind of smile that always gets him to talk.

They say the first time won’t ever last

But that didn’t stop me the first time he laughed

All my friends tried to warn me the day that we met

“Girl, don’t you lose your heart yet”

“Girrrl,” Suna snarls pointedly, resting his head on Samu’s shoulder. “Don’t lose your heart yet.”

“What are you talking about?!” Samu tries to throw him off, but Suna’s gotten too good at this game.

“Don’t deny it. I know you two have got history, but I’m telling you, this girl will not stick around.”

Samu shrugs. “Maybe not, but who said I will?”

Suna eyes him in that wary way he likes to seize the world with.

“You’d never. Leave, I mean. You can’t even say no to Tsumu. In the end it will be between her and Tsumu and I’m afraid you’ll always choose him and she’ll always chose herself.”

“Since when did you get so wise?” Samu asks, laughs, and shrugs it off like it means nothing.

After all, what does Suna know of those things?

From the other end of the classroom he can hear you laugh. It shoots right through his heart and he wonders when that started. Had there ever been a time before this feeling in his chest?

But his dark eyes dared me with danger

And sparks fly like flame to a paper

Fire in his touch burning me up, but still I held on

‘Cause I was already gone

Everyone thinks that Osamu is the gentler twin, the safer option, the calmer one.

But you know better, cuddling against him in the dark when his parents are asleep and even Tsumu doesn’t know you’ve snuck into his room late at night.

There’s danger in his eyes, grey like your favorite weather. They’ve always been able to look right through you, understand what you mean before you’re able to say it.

There’s danger is in his touch, his fingertips when they caress your cheeks, the weight of his arm when he puts it around you, the softness of his lips when he kisses you.

It’s the realization that he’d might make you stay when all you want is leave for the world

The last time I saw him, we packed up my things

And he smiled like the first time he told me his name

And we cried with each other

Your mother had promised you, when you moved to Hyōgo, that you’d have a different childhood than here. You would be able to stay in one place, put down roots and grow like a tree.

You’d be able to make friends and hold them close, fall in love and be able to stay if you choose to do so.

But you’re your father’s daughter, born with your head in the clouds and your heart flying with the birds.

She should have known that you were already gone the moment you stepped foot on this earth.

The day before your flight Samu found you packing, sitting between boxes and suitcases, a party hat on your head that you’d found at the back of your closet.

“You’re really leaving?” He asks and you can taste the grief on his tongue even though he tries to swallow it down.

“Yeah.” You pat the space next to you, lean into him when he sits down. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not being the girlfriend that you need.”

“You don’t-”

“No.” You put your hand on his on the floor. “I know it’s not anyone’s fault. I just… wish, sometimes. That I could be like that. Stay in one place and be content with it. Love someone enough to consider staying. Isn’t that pathetic?”

“Are you talking about yourself or your father?”

You sniffle. “Maybe both.”

He puts his arm around you, pulls you closer. His voice is hoarse when he speaks, makes him sound so much older than he really is - just eighteen, not a child, and yet not grown up either.

“I wish I could be more like you.” He says. “Less afraid of leaving Tsumu behind. Less tied to places and people.”

“It’s less lonely your way.”

“It hurts less your way.”

You sit in silence for a while, not quite crying, but not with dry eyes either.

Eventually, you put the last box away, snap your last suitcase closed.

Osamu pulls the party hat off your head and puts it on himself, the elastic digging into the skin around his jaw.

“I promise you,” he says, “That we will be friends. No matter what happens.”

For a moment, he’s no longer eighteen. Not your ex-boyfriend, not the first love of your life. He’s six years old, offering you apple slices and a smile.

“No matter what happens.” You say and link your pinkies together.

#my writing #osamu x reader #miya osamu #miya atsumu #suna rintarou #osamu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x you #haikyuu drabbles #hq x reader #haikyuu angst

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unrequitedloveletter · 10 months

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Would That I- N.L x gn! reader

all right! This one was requested by @ell0ra-br3kk3r! I’m posting it a while after it was written just to try to get used to using the queue function a bit more frequently because while I have used it a lot lately I still feel like I might fuck up from time to time lol

otherwise, notes with this fic include that, while is a songfic, with the last part (it goes from chorus to verse and then to chorus to conclude the song) I didn’t follow the songs structure and just ended the fic off with the final verse because I was afraid of getting repetitive with the parts of the fic where the chorous is concerned

Fic type- this is mostly fluff

Warnings- mentions of heartbreak/jealousy

True that I saw her hair like the branch of a tree - a willow dancing on air before covering me - under cotton and calicoes - over canopy dappled long ago - true that love in withdrawal was the weepin' of me - that the sound of the saw must be known by the tree - must be felled for to fight the cold - fretted fire but that was long ago

It was no secret to anyone in the palaces that you and Nikolai both had your own separate romantic pasts. Nikolai had himself a string of flings to speak of, and while yours was a bit more spaced out, you had experienced your fair share of romance, too.

But, as it usually did at one point or another, romance coupled up with heartbreak. Nikolai had experienced it but a few times in his life, and each time it had made his heart just a bit more steely, amped up his charm piece by piece until it was something through which nobody could break.

And you? heartbreak had not turned your heart into steel. If anything, it had made you cautious but still willing to wear your heart on your sleeve. You cared about people because it was your instinct, your first thought, what you would do for the rest of your life. You loved and you loved openly, not fearing heartbreak because in your view, you had certainly been through worse.

Nikolai could say that such traits as your inexplicable ability to care for people were traits of yours that he certainly admired, perhaps had even begun to love, but there would always exist the part of him that did not view love as something to be joyous about any longer.

After a point, after many-a-heartbreak, love became a risk. It became a risk that Nikolai was near unwilling to take, but that didn’t mean he didn’t contemplate it sometimes when he looked at you.

Sometimes love didn’t end as it had always ended in his experience. Heartbreak did not always have to be the end result. The end result very well could’ve been marriage and a life so happy that Nikolai never experienced heartbreak of any sort ever again.

But the risk was always there, so Nikolai walled up his heart and tried not to let you tear the walls down.

It's not tonight (Oh, oh) - where I'm set alight (Oh, oh) - and I blink in sight (Oh, oh)- of your blinding light (Oh, oh) - oh, it's not tonight (Oh, oh) - where you hold me tight (Oh, oh) - and the fire bright (Oh, oh) - oh, let it blaze alright (Oh, oh) - oh, but you're good to me, oh, you're good to me (Oh, oh) - oh, but that you're good to me, baby (Oh, oh)

Somewhere, though Nikolai could not quite figure out where, the line between how much time he spent with you and without you began to blur. Somehow, piece by piece, you’d begun to take down the walls he’d built around his heart, and for some reason, he let you.

Letting people in was harder than keeping them out, but after a drunken night of conversation and laughter, Nikolai found that he would trust you with his heart sooner than he would dare trust anyone else.

It helped that you were good to him, if he were honest. It felt nothing like flings of past, nothing like all of the heartbreak he’d endured. The line between time spent with you and time spent without you had begun to blur to the point where Nikolai was entirely unsure as to whether or not he’d still be able to spot it, but he didn’t mind that at all.

And as for you, you didn’t mind it either. Nikolai was the most understanding person you had ever met, the kindest, most compassionate and definitely the most charming by a mile and a half. The time you spent with him was time you always enjoyed, without fail.

You’d experienced your fair share of heartbreak, just as Nikolai had, and somehow you knew without a doubt that he would not break your heart. He seemed like he was in it for the long game and you were perfectly fine with that--you’d fallen in love with him, and though marriage was not something you had discussed, if he ever proposed, you knew that you would say yes because saying yes would mean marrying the man you loved like you’d never loved anybody else.

You were content with everything as it happened, as was Nikolai. At the end of the day, such a truth was the only one either of you cared about.

with the roar of the fire, my heart rose to its feet - like the ashes of ash, I saw rise in the heat - settled soft and as pure as snow - I fell in love with the fire long ago - with each love I cut loose, I was never the same - watching still-living roots be consumed by the flame - I was fixed on your hand of gold - layin' waste to my lovin' long ago

“I don’t know how to explain it, really,” Nikolai said to Tolya as the two of them moved through the palace grounds. “I look at them, and well--it’s like--my heart sets itself on fire, really. I look at them and I feel like I’m standing in the middle of an open flame or like I’m in a heatwave.”

“That’s love for you,” Tolya said with a grin. “Yeah, it does that. Makes you giddy, appreciative of everything, makes you feel like every bone in your body has been set alight. You’ve been in love before. I thought you knew this stuff.”

“Not as intensely,” Nikolai responded. “I’ve experienced love in it’s most mild of forms and thought it was the most intense emotion I had ever felt. I, very clearly, was wrong.”

“I don’t know,” Tolya said with a shrug. “Maybe you’re experiencing it so intensely because of the fact that you refused to let them in for months and then just kind of decided to let them steal your heart on a random Tuesday, and here we are. Maybe you’re experiencing it so intensely because love and true love are two different things, or maybe it’s just because the universe has taken pity and decided that, after the war, you deserve something of a happy ending. I might love a good sonnet, but we have an objective here rather than to just aimlessly wander.”

Nikolai grinned. “I do love it when you remind me of the task at hand, Tolya,” he said wistfully. Tolya only shook his head at Nikolais antics. “Thank you for reminding me, seriously. Had you not, I would’ve gotten lost in thinking about them and I think it might’ve driven me mad.”

Tolya grinned. “Only the best loves drive one mad, Nikolai. Cherish it.”

“Oh, I intend to,” Nikolai said, and the two of them kept moving, the conversation coming and going, Nikolais heart setting a racing pace whenever you dared cross his mind.

So in awe, there I stood as you licked off the grain - though I've handled the wood, I still worship the flame - as long as amber of ember glows - all the "would" that I'd loved is long ago

“Might I interest you in a dance, my love?” You asked with a grin as you and Nikolai stood, surveying an empty ballroom that you’d booked to use in an event with dancing, drinking, and donations that would go into the paying off of Ravkas debts.

There was not a sound to be heard, not a soul in the room aside from Nikolai and yourself, and yet, somehow, it was perfect.

“Always,” Nikolai said, offering you his hand.

The dance was like one of the ones you’d do while a country song played on the violin, full of spinning and laughter and a general sense of joy that would not leave you, one that you never quite wanted to go.

“I love you,” you said to him, breathless, as you found yourself in the middle of the ballroom, Nikolais arms around your waist and yours around his shoulders. “I love you so much.”

“Ditto,” Nikolai hummed, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. You scoffed as Nikolai laughed, your hearts setting together in a beautiful ember of fire as you stood in the ballroom empty for all but yourselves.

Loving Nikolai was akin to loving a flame, one that burned relentless and bright and warm, and you wouldn’t’ve traded it for anything in the world.

Loving you, Nikolai found, was like sitting in the middle of a flame and basking in the heat. He loved the feeling of loving you like he’d never loved anyone else. It was a gift to him, a blessing, though he’d never thought himself worthy of such a blessing from the saints or any blessing from them at all.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

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skyewritesstuff · 5 months

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all too well (stan's version)

my masterlist.

entry 3 in my (taylor’s version) songfic series.

summary: you said if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine...and that made me want to die.

pairing: post-covid!stan marsh x younger!reader

fandom: south park

warnings: oh god. toxic relationship. toxic age-gap relationship (20s/50s). domestic violence (throwing things). language. afab reader.

notes: based on all too well (10 minute version), the song and the short film, by taylor swift. this has been beta read, and fun fact, this is the first fic i've written that got a perfect score in grammarly. it has been beta read. :)

word count: 2.9k

“If we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine.”

That was the moment that set you off. It was like a match was lit and dropped into a brush pile doused in kerosene. It simultaneously made you want to rip your skin from your bones and scream in agony, but also retaliate towards the older man standing in front of you…so that’s exactly what you did.

“You burned down your family’s farm. You killed your sister and your mom, and you ruined your own life just like you fucking ruined me! You told me you loved me. You took my virginity. You told me you wanted to marry me and now you’re saying our ages are a problem? That’s bullshit, Stan and you know it.”

“Fuck you. Fuck you. Get the fuck out of my house. We’re done. Go find you some guy your age that can drink to tolerate your batshit crazy ass, because my body has built too high of a tolerance to even be able to get buzzed enough to be around you. I’d rather go back to using my hand on the nightly basis than listen to you scream and cry at me like a fucking kid.”

You held it together despite internally wanting to crumble. You wanted to fall to your knees and sob and beg him to stay and beg him to love you, because despite everything, you still loved him.

“Fine.” You walked over to the counter and grabbed your belongings and your keys before turning to head out of the door. You then turned around and faced him, “That’s the funny part about all of this, Stan. My age is a problem now? Cool, fine, because you know what? Years will pass and I’ll get older…but your little girlfriends, side pieces, and fuckbuddies? They’ll all stay my age.”

With that, you walked out and slammed the door, heading to your car and exiting his driveway quicker than you’d ever pulled out of a location in your life. You tried to hold your tears in as you drove, but they started quickly pouring out and didn’t stop until you found yourself sitting on the floor of the shower in your apartment hours later

The water falling from the shower head had started running cold a long while ago. You couldn’t tell if you were still shaking from the tears or from the cold drops that fell onto your bare skin, but you pulled your knees in closer to your chest as you sat there overwhelmed by everything. This wasn’t your first fight with Stan. Things were never fully stable. He’d gotten mad at you when you asked him why he dropped your hand and stepped in front of you when a tall woman with black hair and glasses approached him at the class reunion that he’d invited you to.

“You dropped my fucking hand! What am I supposed to do with that?”

“I didn’t even fucking notice. What are you talking about I ‘dropped your hand’?”

You shuddered again at the memory as it kept playing on in your mind as if you couldn’t shut it off even though you desperately wanted to.

“They are all older than me.”

“But like, what are you talking about?”

“I feel so out of place. You’re the only one that makes people comfortable.”

“You’re making this about you.”

“They won’t even look at me!”

You finally mustered up the strength to stand up, get out of the shower, and wrap yourself in a towel. It was removed the moment you dried off enough to put on your pajamas, consisting of one of Stan’s t-shirts and a pair of athletic shorts. Your heart ached as the cotton fabric went over your head and onto your body, hanging loosely on your frame.

You hadn’t even bothered to tell anyone what’d happened. You hadn’t from the start, so why start now. Your friends would be sympathetic and supportive, but you also knew of some friends, but more so family, that would be telling you ‘I told you so’.

Your mother had warned you from the beginning, telling you that he had no business being with someone that was young enough to be his daughter regardless of whether or not you were both consenting adults, which had been your main defense all along. He was able to connect with your dad on sports, alcohol, and music and had even made the connection that they might have played each other in football in high school. That thought made you feel a little uncomfortable, but it wasn’t enough for you to see the concerns that even your dad silently harbored about this relationship.

You shook your head, drying the ends of your hair with a towel before curing up to lay down on your side, feeling ashamed and embarrassed that you’d even let this go on for as long as you had. There were so many signs and you’d missed them all, wearing what you could only describe as rose tinted glasses to see the world through the lens of the hope of true love.

You stayed on your side, curled up, until you glanced at the alarm clock to see the time. It was then that you were brought back to a few months prior, naked and curled up on your side in his bed as he pulled you into his chest. You felt dirty and ashamed. It was one thing for you to use your body to stop an argument and to pose a distraction from harsh words and glass bottles being thrown around, but it was another for him to go along with it. You wanted him to not take you up on your offer, coming to you with the proposition to talk about the problem at hand instead of just fucking to forget. The memory made you feel sick to your stomach…they all did.

The only thing that hurt worse than the bad memories were the ones that radiated any glimmer of hope into the spiral of your relationship. You baked cookies together at one in the morning all because you just wanted to. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you mixed the ingredients and got them prepared and hoisted you onto the counter to kiss you while you waited for the oven timer to go off. He told you all about his childhood…from his friends to the farm…information you’d never think of sharing, let alone weaponizing. You told him about yours and how you’d always dreamed of falling madly in love, getting married, and having children as to drop some kind of hint to him. He told you he loved you not even a week later when he’d come over to spend the evening with you, but the kiss that followed tasted of whiskey, planting the seed of doubt in your heart that you’d work hard to push back down every time you said those three words to him.

The good did not outweigh the bad, but your mind couldn’t wrap around the idea that someone could be that kind only to be so cruel. How could someone love you and then destroy you with such simplicity? Unless, they never loved you at all. You shook your head, trying to shake the thought out of the forefront of your mind. That could never be the case, but what if it was?

You were jarred from your thoughts by the sound of not knocking, but pounding on your door. You jumped, unsettled by the noise. You walked to the door, peering through the peephole only to see Stan standing on your doormat, partially slumped over on the door, using his closed fist to pound on the door. He apologized, begging you to answer the door through slurred words all because he loves you and he made a mistake.

You opened the door and Stan all but fell inside, stumbling and grabbing a hold of a coat rack and your arm. Several items fell off of the coat rack as he picked himself up. You rolled your eyes watching him scramble to pick them up out of the floor, almost falling again.

“Just leave it.” You replied coldly.

“N-No, I did this…I fucked it up like I fuck up everything else.” he handed you a beanie and a hoodie and you took it into your arms with a deep sigh of frustration.

His hand landed on a red knit infinity scarf. He picked it up and took a good look at it. “You had this on when we went to see Shelley and mom. I-It matched the flowers.”

You took a hard swallow, pursing your lips, “Yeah…” Your mind went back to the red carnations Stan placed on his sister and his mother’s graves that day. Regardless of his behavior, you couldn’t help but pity him when it came to his family. It was a tragedy and there wasn’t anyone that could deny that.

Once you hung the articles back on the rack, you turned to Stan, who was leaning on the wall for support. He was more than obviously drunk, per usual. You cursed the availability of self-driving cars, but you doubt deep-down that his drunken state would’ve kept him from getting behind the wheel to try and keep you entrapped considering it was something that would ultimately benefit him. Despite his self-deprecating behaviors, Stan was the love of his own life. He was his own number one and there was no one that could knock him out of that position short of the bottle.

You crossed your arms over your chest, “What do you want, Stanley? You told me to get out of your house and that we were done.”

“I-I know…but…I couldn’t…I couldn’t let you leave. I love you, Y/N. I love you and need you, baby.” he slurred, reaching for you. You took a step back and rolled your eyes as he continued, “Alexa told me I needed to stay away from you, but I just can’t. I can’t do that. She told me to stay away from ‘that little girl’ and to find someone my own age, but I told her that you’re a woman and you’re mature. It’s fine. You know that, right? I’m not…I’m not worried about your age.”

You blinked, perplexed by his statements considering what he’d said earlier, “I don’t even know how to respond to that.”

“Remember when Kyle said he didn’t know I had a daughter, but it wasn’t my daughter, it was you?”

“Yeah, and I remember your other friend stopping me at the bar telling me I needed to run too.”

The whole reunion felt like a fever dream, but the comments made by Kyle, as well as the man at the bar…a taller man with dark hair and tanned skin who was holding the hand of his husband who also looked at you with deep concern etched onto his features…stuck with you. You knew by their impact that you shouldn’t have let them go, but instead, you forced them to the back of your mind every time they’d reappear. You’d remind yourself that these people no longer knew Stan, because it’d been decades since their school years. The presence of a freshly twenty-something year old on the arm of a fifty-year old was everything an outsider needed to know about Stan Marsh.

“That’s a good idea…let’s run…let’s go to Vegas…let’s get married. I love you and I want you to stay with me.” he begged, this time dropping to his knees.

“Get up, Stan. This is ridiculous.” You said, extending a hand to help him up. He stood back up and walked closer towards you, putting his hands on your waist. Tears were welled up in his eyes and his face was flushed. You couldn’t tell if this was from the heat of the whiskey, emotion, or his history of having a sensitive stomach in times of high stress.

“I'm so sorry.” He leaned in and pressed his forehead to yours. His lips lingered near yours and your chest tightened. Your love for the man in front of you was doing its best to fight off the anger and sorrow you were feeling as if you hadn’t been down this road before. This was a normal occurrence even if it wasn’t in the presence of a potential break up. Every fight ended like this. He’d get drunk, apologize, kiss you, fuck you, and then wake up the next day hungover. The fight would be long since forgotten.

“I can’t do this, Stan.” Your voice cracked, “I love you, but I can’t do this.”

“But you love me.”

“Sometimes love isn’t enough.” You spoke plainly, gently putting your hands on his chest to slowly push him away. Your stomach turned a little, knowing his past history of violence. He’d never hit you, but any nearby object was fair game to be tossed through the air in your general direction. You didn’t trust him not to hit you, and that should’ve been another red flag, but it also went ignored.

“But…”

“You took my virginity when we were both drunk. You lied about my age at the reunion until someone told you there was no way I was almost thirty. You’re basically unemployed. You drink all day and half-ass your job to the point where you lose clients quicker than you make money.” The more you spoke, the more the anger began to rise as you recalled all of the things you’d been ignoring for so long, “You’ve thrown full glass bottles of whiskey at me. You’ve thrown long neck bottles, shot glasses…basically anything you can drink your sorrows away in has been thrown my way on top of your phone, my fucking water bottle…anything with weight to it. You ruined my twenty-first by not showing up to my party and blacking out drunk in your own fucking bedroom, which made my parents hate you…”

“Your parents love me!” The rest of your points going ignored again.

“You really are oblivious as fuck, aren’t you? I’m dying inside, Stan. I can’t fucking doing this anymore. You have ruined me and I don’t know if I’ll ever be myself again. You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine…but I don’t even think you could hold a relationship with someone your own age. If Wendy wasn’t married, you would’ve left me that night and moved on to ruin her too…but I don’t think she would’ve given you the opportunity…because admittedly, she’s not young and fucking stupid like me.” You pursed your lips, taking a breath, “You couldn’t manipulate her the way you do me…the way you did me…because we’re done, Stanley.”

He looked at you, eyes glazed over, his brain taking longer to process what you’d said due to his state of intoxication.

“I loved you and I tried to be there for you. I tried to create a safe space, because fuck, no one’s done it for you for the last fifty some years and I thought you deserved it…but you just took advantage of it.” You said, shaking your head, “I hope one day you find everything you’re missing. I hope you go to rehab, because you need it. I hope you make peace with your father, because you need that too.”

“Fuck Randy. I fucking hate Randy. He’s…”

“He’s your dad and sure he’s fucked up over the years, but it’s not like you’re some saint either. You both have made mistakes. Go to therapy, get your shit together, and go find happiness…with someone who isn’t me…and is closer to your own age.”

Tears had started to stream down your face rapidly and you hadn’t noticed. He stepped closer and reached up to wipe your tears away. You shook your head, reaching up to wipe them off yourself.

“I’ll go with you out to your car and program it to take you back home, but after that, I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“You don’t mean that.”

You nodded, “I do…and I’d normally say that I’m sorry, but I really don’t think I am.”

“I thought we were made for each other.” he paused, “Maybe another time…in another life?”

You shrugged. The sentiment was nice. It was pleasant to think about, but it was sadly not a reality. It was doubtful that your lives would ever cross again and it was unlikely that he’d change. In another life, maybe, but that wasn’t something you were even sure existed.

“I don’t know, Stan.” You said, wrapping your arms around your midriff.

“I love you.”

You didn’t say anything. You opened the door and motioned for him to follow you. On your way out, the red of the scarf hanging from the coat rack caught your eye. For a brief second, your hand reached up to take it, debating on dropping the knit accessory in the back seat of his car. You knew that this would just enable Stan to try and contact you again and begin this cycle in a never-ending loop like the article of clothing itself.

You wordlessly followed Stan to his car, programming it to drive him back to his home before helping him into his seat and closing the door. You backed up, watching the car start to pull out of the lot and head down the street as he exited your life for good.

It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well…

#south park #south park fanfiction #south park x reader #stan marsh #pc!stan #pc!stan marsh #post-covid #post-covid special #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh x yn #stan marsh x you #south park x yn #south park x you

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phanfictioncatalogue · 1 year

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Riding (6) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

a different kind of birthday present (ao3) - Lizzyboo

Summary: “Just sit back and relax, birthday boy, I got you,”

(birthday sex, lots and lots of birthday sex)

Dan the Personal Assistant (ao3) - blissedoutphil

Summary: Dan has to submit an application video to be an assistant for a company President, Mr. Lester. But what happens when he accidentally sends a wrong video?

Dream Lover (ao3) - howellesterfics

Summary: Dan moves into his new dorm and he and Phil try out the new bed

first night away (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: dan and phil enjoy each other on their first night away. (inspired by their late night instastories.)

Happy Christmas, Daddy (ao3) - MaeTaurus

Summary: A few days before Christmas Dan finds himself tipsy, lonely, and horny. He creates a Tinder profile where he meets Michael, a nice guy who enjoys bossing Dan around and giving him various tasks to do for him. But who is Michael? And what happens when both Dan and Phil's family Christmases are canceled?

I’ll Be The First To Blow Your Mind (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: After hooking up at the club, Phil invites Dan over to his flat. Dan, of course, says yes.

Immortality (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Phil was suddenly immortal with a thirst for Dan's blood.

When Dan finds out the truth he wants Phil to change him, but Phil doesn't think he can take Dan's life away like that. His life was just too precious and beautiful, but an eternity with Dan did make him reconsider.

King of Erotic Massages (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil is too stressed, Dan decides to give him a hand... among other things.

Love me (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Dan is cute and he knows it, and he really wants his boyfriends attention. So he decides to annoy Phil until he gets what he wants.

....

Dan loudly clears his throat, “Um excuse me? Yeah your cute boyfriend is right here and asking for attention.” He over-dramatically gestures to himself.

Lovestruck (Be the One to Take Me Home and Show Me the Sun) (ao3) - Emejig16

Summary: Dan has gone up north to visit Phil again. He meets and hangs out with some of Phil’s friends, before spending the some quality alone time with Phil back at his flat.

make a mess of you (ao3) - spaceandvinyls

Summary: 80s!phan songfic based on night prowler by ac/dc

Not Just Any Fan. (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan and Phil meet for coffee and something more...

Not Just My Sexual Fantasy (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Written for a friend who wanted either Fluff or Smut focused around Neko-Dan in his Sexual Fantasy jumper.

on cloud nine (ao3) - outphan

Summary: Sometimes they have great sex. Sometimes they have not-so-great sex. Sometimes they have sex that accidentally gets live streamed to 12k people.

ride safe, wear a seatbelt (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: phil likes to be in control

skin on skin (ao3) - sadlybunny

Summary: It was subtle at first. Dan would grab Phil’s hands and hold them when they started to wander. He’d catch Phil’s lips in his when he tried to press them to Dan’s neck. Phil received the message eventually, and stopped trying to progress things altogether. It was odd. Dan was usually the one in their relationship to initiate sex in the first place. And it was especially odd for them to go so long without sex, or at least something quick. But two weeks was weird.

or... Dan gets a tattoo and is scared to show Phil.

Soft Kitten (ao3) - benotafraidofwriting

Summary: 'Soft.

That was the only word Phil could think of when describing Dan.

Dan, with his baby face and wide, brown eyes, his curly hair which always had some type of flower accessory perched in it, in his fluffy jumpers and cotton shirts in a rainbow of pastel colors.'

Tangled Up (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: It was hard for Dan and Phil to get any time alone while on tour. They were constantly being rushed through meet and greets or shoved to another hotel.

Luckily they could sometimes sneak away to the back of the tour bus and get all tangled up with each other.

To Live In Clover (ao3) - blissedoutphil

Summary: Dan needs to escape his hell life. Anthony has a rather extraordinary offer. But what does it entail for Dan?

aka an AU where Anthony is a sugar daddy to both Dan and Phil.

We need a really big bath (ao3) - Bbkkgg30

Summary: Dan just wants to cuddle with Phil in the bath, but the stupid hotel tub is too small. After a little bit of fun they finally get to have the cuddles they wanted.

We'll Be Okay (ao3) - analester

Summary: the fic where 2012!phil is struggling with dealing with the way 2012!dan’s treating him, and 2017!dan comes and comforts him

wind me up, watch me go (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Dan cleans out their sex toy collection and Phil makes plans for using one.

you love it (how I move) (ao3) - i_am_my_opheliac

Summary: You can’t help but smile, the sound of his begging like music to your ears.

Inspired by God is a woman - Ariana Grande

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #masterlists #smut #sex tw #riding #riding masterlist

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dearly-somber · 9 months

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Don’t Wanna Cry | l.ch

-> pairing. Lee Chan x reader (f)

-> genre. angst, hurt-comfort, high school!au

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 779

-> warnings. crying, implied/ referenced bullying

-> a/n. This song slaps

-> collection. songfic

-> started. Aug. 13th, 2020 @ 22:34

-> fin. Mar. 17th, 2020 @ 20:17

-> edited. Wed., Jul. 12th, 2023 @ 23:34

You sat on the bench in one of the more secluded areas of the school grounds, eating your sandwich in the peace and quiet of the student-less field.

You had your legs crossed with your book laying in front of you, reading it with a slight breeze fluttering the pages. It was just as you turned the page when you suddenly heard noises. It sounded like someone was talking, and being the curious person that you were, you sneaked up to check it out. When you got there you saw Lee Chan, one of the quieter guys in your class, being pushed around by some of the older students. He was wearing a baby blue and white striped shirt with some jeans, an outfit that fit him well, you thought. He was one of the more tolerable guys in your class, and you couldn't deny that you might've developed a small crush.

You wanted to ask what they were doing when you think his name was Jinyoung, hit Chan square in the jaw. You had to cover your mouth to stop yourself from gasping out loud, ducking behind the wall when Jaebum, the tallest of the three boys, snapped around to look in your direction. Peeking around the corner a bit later, you watched as Jinyoung punched Chan in the gut, pushing him to the floor for Jaebum to kick him.

"Don't ever think about telling your friends again, you hear me? Piece of shit…” Jinyoung laughed evilly as he walked away with Jaebum's arms thrown casually over his shoulders.

As soon as the two boys were out of sight, you rushed forward, crouching down beside Chan who was clutching his stomach tightly. Only when you were right next to him did you realize that he was crying, leaning against the back of the wall with his head facing the sky. He had a busted lip and bruising jaw. You could only guess how his stomach must look.

"괜찬하? Are you alright?” You asked him worriedly, reaching out a hand before retracting it awkwardly. Slowly, he looked down at you, sniffling.

"Who..?"

"I'm Y/N. I sit a few seats behind you? But that isn't important right now. We need to get you to the nurse's office—"

"No! No teachers. They'll kill me if a teacher finds out..." Chan said desperately, wincing. You bit your lip as you thought before standing up.

"Okay. Stay here, alright? I'll be right back!" You gathered your things and rushed to the nurse's office. You grabbed everything you needed and headed back to where Chan was supposed to be. Thankfully he had stayed put, staring at the spot in front of him in a daze. You crouched in front of him, tearing his gaze away from the grass to look at you.

You were quick to get to work, dabbing at his lip with some disinfectant. He winced back at the uncomfortable stinging, but you took your hand and gently turned his head back to you. His eyes were red and puffy, reminding you sadly of a kicked puppy. "I know it stings, but you have to sit still," you muttered, looking at him pleadingly.

He took a moment before nodding, a smile forming on your face. Back to work, you started getting shy at the way he stared at you, a pink hue dusting your cheeks.

“울고 싶지 않아... I don't wanna cry," he mumbled after a while, as you were gently dabbing his lip with a piece of cotton. You hesitated, looking at him questioningly.

He explained himself with an apologetic smile, "Those guys are always beating me up, because they want me to give them cash at school.” He sounded tired as he spoke, eyes glazed over with unused tears. "Every time that they do, I always end up crying. And it makes me feel even more pathetic than I already am.” Tears formed at the corner of his eyes.

After a moment of debate, you cupped his cheeks with both of your hands, forcing him to look at you.

"Lee Chan," you began sternly. “There's nothing wrong with crying. I can only imagine how much it must hurt," you mumbled, rubbing your thumb over his cheek absent-mindedly, not noticing the way his eyes fluttered at the affectionate action. "I'll stay with you from now on, okay?"

You gently brought him in for a hug, resting your chin on his shoulder with your arms wrapped around his torso. He smiled sadly, biting down on his lip to stop himself from crying. He hugged you back. "Thank you," he whispered.

"It's my pleasure." You stroked his back with a soft smile.

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sybaritick · 3 months

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songfic tag game

Rules: Pick a song to accompany each of your fics or as many as you like. This might be the fic's inspiration or just pure vibes that you'd like to share with readers. Tag as many people as fics you feature as many people as you personally feel like

thanks for tagging @say-lene! i'll tag @orlesianapologist @tuffgreg @chocolatecatcupcakecheese if you're in the mood :D

oh man i listen to so much music (including while i write!!) but actually choosing a single song for a fic is SO difficult. absolutely fun though!

nor heaven peep through the blanket of dark (Astarion/Gale, E, 2.4k) x Let Me In by Marika Hackman

oh, let me in the air out here is thick and I've grown thin been choking on the wind

Tephra Year (Gortash/Gale, E, 15.7k in progress) x Caterpillars (of the Commonwealth) by Will Connolly and Deep Green by Marika Hackman

you've got potential, little parasite I tie your hands so I can wish you well 'cause I'm a gentleman and you are like a caterpillar of the commonwealth

the water's clean and warm and green I'm not allowed to swim I'm scared of getting in

At Knifepoint (Astarion/Gale, E, 2.4k) x Sugarwater by Danny Malone

when they’re on to you-- you just move on to a new doctor sharing medicine to keep us up a little bit longer beta-block it out, wet that cotton mouth you sweet, sweet talker drink your sugar water

Suggestion (Tav/Gale, M, 1.5k) x Fruitless by Bridal Party

I can’t love anyone, oh, not in this economy passion is a setting sun, unless I win the lottery I’m mocking action just for fun, it turns a sweet wound salty

slightly silly bonus: Appetites (Astarion/Gale, E, 1.2k) x Wow and Flutter by April Smith

I could take a great big bite out of you when I get my cake, I like to eat it too and can I help myself if I find you simply delicious?

#cal txt #ask game #this was very fun. also yes i love marika hackman and shes a big inspiration to me

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ascendthisday · 1 year

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That Time

Pairing: Duff McKagan/Steven Adler

Word Count: 4,600~

Info: No Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Drug Use, Overdosing, Songfic, Teeth, Smoking, Blood, Nosebleed, Kissing, Almost death

Summary: “Duff! Look at this!” Steven squealed, his blond mop of hair shaking with his exaggerated nodding as he pointed at the pavement with excitement. He had run a few yards ahead of the other man, so Duff had to jog to catch up with him. Duff’s obnoxiously loud chained belt jingled against his leather pants every thickly soled step he made. “Huh,” He hummed as he stared down at the concrete, touching hips with the drummer, “that’s weird.”

Authors Note: been a busy busy bee lately, sorry for not posting! getting back into the general glide of things though, so expect more in the next few weeks!! this is old, but good nonetheless

Hey, remember that time when I found a human tooth

Down on Delancey?

“Duff! Look at this!” Steven squealed, his blond mop of hair shaking with his exaggerated nodding as he pointed at the pavement with excitement. He had run a few yards ahead of the other man, so Duff had to jog to catch up with him. Duff’s obnoxiously loud chained belt jingled against his leather pants every thickly soled step he made. “Huh,” He hummed as he stared down at the concrete, touching hips with the drummer, “that’s weird.” On the ground sat two yellowed human teeth. They were wedged in the crack between the sidewalk's concrete panels, surrounded by weeds and grass that had managed to shimmy their way into the crevice. It was almost as if they had been pulled directly from the root with their long prong-esque legs still attached. Steven folded himself in half, his leather jacket sliding up his shoulders and his wild mess of hair curtaining around his face, and swept the teeth into his hands.

“Ew, man! Gross!” Duff groaned as Steven tucked the teeth into the back pocket of his jeans. “Hey, you never know when you might need some teeth. Maybe they’ll be my good luck charm- or something like that.” He giggled as he stared at himself in the reflection of the bassist's sunglasses. “Maybe, or they’ll give you AIDs.” The taller man retorted. Steven frowned, pulling the usual grin he sported off of his mouth immediately. Duff knew how he felt about those jokes; his history, why would he say that? The tooth discussion didn’t linger on much longer, though. Instead, they walked back to their home, the ‘hell house’ in all of its glory, clouded by an awkward aura of- well- something indescribable.

Hey, remember that time when we decided to kiss anywhere except the mouth?

That aura tugged down on their shoulders until they wandered into Steven’s rather unclean bedroom. It wasn’t disgusting- more so an organized mess. Things were piled up in thick hills along the floor, but had you asked Steven to bring you even the tiniest pin, he could find it in seconds. He was just special in that way. “I’m sorry,” Duff mumbled as he wrapped himself around the smaller man. His warm body heat seeped through his own t-shirt and Steven's layers of leather and cotton. “‘s okay,” Steven murmured back as he took a handful of steps toward his mattress, twirled himself- and Duff around, and fell backward on top of the lanky man. “Oh!” Duff huffed as the wind was knocked out of him. He sputtered out stringy waves of blond and lightly shoved Steven off of him. The drummed grinned and rolled himself onto his side, propping his head up onto his hand.

“I’m bored. Let’s play a game!” Steven whined and playfully batted his eyelashes at the man. “Whaddya thinkin’ of?” The bassist responded as he pulled off his sunglasses and placed them atop his head. “Kiss me. Kiss me anywhere except my lips.” He grinned. Duff gave him a little smirk, pushed Steven over, threw his lanky legs over his waist, and began to assault him with kisses while straddling him. He kissed along his shoulders. Then, pulled up his shirt to pepper soft pecks against his fishnet-covered ribs. Next, his navel. As he slid lower and lower down the drummer's body, his kisses trailed onto his jeans and down his thighs. Floaty giggles echoed around the room as Steven relished the feeling of Duff’s chapped lips against his ankles. “Don’t- Don’t kiss my toes!” Steven yelped between flurried hiccups as Duff got closer and closer to the skin that was concealed in his dirty Converse.

Hey, remember that time when my favorite colors was pink and green?

Duff obeyed and kissed his way back up Steven's body, trailing directly on top of the previous kisses he had left just mere moments ago. Unlike his previous endeavors, Duff kissed past his shoulders and danced his way down his arms, one at a time. He placed sweet little pecks to the respective heart and drumstick on each shoulder when the time came. Steven let out soft little puffs of air as his heart dramatically thumped against his ribcage. Sure, they were intimate in a lot of ways, but something about this was different. It was almost romantic. Duff trailed through his downy arm hair and to his thickly decorated wrists. “Pink,” Duff whispered, holding one of his thin wrists in his palm, “and green.” He pulled both wrists together and held the colors side by side. “Our favorite!” Steven cheekily smiled at the bassist.

Duff blushed, remembering that the thin twine bracelets had originally been a matching set shared between the two of them, but the thread was too itchy for Duff, so Steven settled on wearing both of them. The jewelry was originally bought by Slash, a gift that he had justified with a snarky remark along the lines of 'If you guys wanna act like a couple so much, you should go ahead and be part of a pair,’ which was backhanded yet sweet. A lot of things Slash said were like that, twisted in some way or another. Duff didn’t even really like green that much, but he knew Steven loved pink, so he compromised. Since then, Steven had been convinced that green was his favorite color ever. He never complained. The bassist grinned back at him as he placed a final kiss on Steven's fingertip. Then, he pulled away and sat upright, just for a moment. As soon as he was fully up, he was back down with his lips centimeters away from Stevens. The drummer squeaked and blinked his eyes. Hard.

Hey, remember that month when I only ate boxes of tangerines?

So cheap and juicy!

Tangerines.

“Do you think I’ve earned a kiss on the mouth yet?” Duff hummed as his breath ghosted against Steven's lips. “Your breath tastes like oranges- no, tangerines! Are you doing that thing where that's all you eat again?” Steven let out a nervous chortle as he jokingly licked at the air. Duff dramatically threw his head back and groaned. “That was one time, man!” He hissed as his sunglasses slid off of his head. “Damn it.” The older man groaned and awkwardly grasped around the area behind him. Unfortunately for both of them, the area behind Duff happened to be Steven's waistband. “My dick!” he yelped, shooting forward at the sudden pain that raced through his torso. Duff didn’t have time to react to his sudden screech Steven lurched forward and smacked his head straight into his nose.

“Fuck!” Duff exclaimed and slid back while desperately holding his nose. Big tears bubbled over his waterline immediately. “Oh- baby, shit. I'm sorry. Let me see.” Steven rambled as he sat up and pulled away his worn hands. Duff nervously combed his fingers through his blond hair, smearing red through his gold and black mane. “Is it bad?” He whimpered. “No, it’s um, it’s fine. You’ll probably just have a little bump or something.” Steven desperately stumbled over his words. He knew Duff’s nose would most definitely leave with more than ‘just a little bump,’ but that wouldn’t make anything better. His hands shakily wiped away the blood from his upper lip. “It’s fine,” Steven reassured him and wiped a little bit of crimson away and onto Duff’s shirt. His tears puddled into dark spots on his already black shirt. It didn’t even hurt that bad! He wasn’t sure why he was crying. The bassist nervously wiped his clammy hands onto his leather slacks, leaving a trail of wet condensation on his thighs.

Hey, remember that time when I would only read Shakespeare?

“It’s not bad, I swear. It’s kind of silly!” He awkwardly chuckled and held Duff’s head in his palms. “Silly? Kind of like your Shakespearean phase?” Duff grinned through his soft tears and bloody nose, a little bit of both haphazardly dripping into his open-mouthed grin. Steven nodded and pressed their lips together. His calloused fingers swept away his blubbery tears before loosely intertangling his fingers to the roots of his black-streaked blond hair. Duff let out little puffy moans into his mouth, occasionally shaking the both of them with little hiccuped sobs. Copper, iron, and whatever other metallic tastiest were out there flooded Steven's mouth. It was gross, but so were they! Their tongues lightly teased against either one, not fighting for dominance but simply prodding against each other. Steven pulled away with a sweet slightly rust-colored smile.

“Exactly. Just like when I would only read Shakespeare.” Duff smiled back and let out a shaky sigh. The bassists’ palms found themself lightly rested upon his chest, running through his coarse chest hair through his fishnet top. The drummer chuckled at the contact, shivering at his warm hands against his cold skin. His slightly dirty fingernails drew deep swirls along his skin. Steven sighed and pulled off his leather jacket, throwing it off into the mess that was his room. It smacked against the carpet with a thick thump. They sat there, staring into each other's eyes. “I think all the blood loss is making me stupid,” Duff murmured, “stupider.” He pushed his head into the crook of Steven's neck. “Hey! If anyone here is the stupid one, it’s me!” Steven chuckled and placed a kiss on the side of Duff’s mouth, lightly pulling his head away from his neck with a fistful of hair. The crusted blood on his upper lip awkwardly began to dry and crack as Duff became more talkative, but he still looked gorgeous. He never looked bad, not to Steven at least.

Hey, remember that time when I would only smoke Parliaments?

“I need a smoke.” Duff sighed. “Oh! Oh- I’ve got you, man.” The drummer grinned, shoving the lanky man off of him. He scrambled toward the headboard of his bed- or where it would be, had he had one. Steven shuffled through the gunk shoved between the wall and his mattress before triumphantly pulling out three different cigarette boxes and a baggie. “Take your pick.” Steven placed his assorted white boxes- and bag into Duff’s lap. He hummed back and stared at the random smokes. “How did you end up with such a variety?” He snorted, picking up the Parliament lights first. The light blue stared back at him as he knocked back the top of the box. “Oh- every time I hook up with a chick at her place when she goes to piss, I hunt for cigarettes and whatever else I can find. Normally, they don’t say nothing!” Duff fished his lighter out of the pocket of his slacks and plucked out one of the white tubes. Tucking it safely between his teeth, Duff flicked his lighter one, twice and successfully inhaled a lungful of smoke.

Hey, remember that time when I would only smoke Marlboros?

Sour grey fled from Duff’s lips as he exhaled. Steven leaned over and pulled out the red-dipped Marlboro box. “Lemme see your light.” He grunted, putting out a flat palm toward Duff and grabbing at the air. Duff chuckled and dropped the piece of purple translucent plastic into his hand, exhaling little puffs of smoke. “So, what's in the bag?” Duff questioned, holding the opaque plastic up and giving it a little shake. “Huh. I dunno!” Steven shrugged and lit the cigarette held haphazardly between his lips. The orangeish filter peeked out from his mouth. “How the hell do you not know? Can I look?” The older man spewed questions at him, already tugging off the rubber band that kept the baggie closed.

His sudden wonder at the drummer's baggie of secrets made him want to get up and bombard the bassist with every ounce of love he had, but for some reason, he wanted to come off as cool. He didn’t know why. Duff had seen him at his absolutely dorkiest moments. Steven just nodded, pulling the cigarette from his lips to puff smoke at Duff. “C’mon, it’s a surprise! Don’t play bored, you wanna know what's in it just as bad as I do.” He giggled and waved the accumulating cloud of smoke away from his face. Stevens' cooled facade broke at the bassist's ever-so-sweet chuckle, making him also burst into ever-so-familiar giggles.

Hey, remember that time when I was broke?

I didn't care; I just bummed from my friends

Bum bum bum bum bum

Duff finally got the stubborn baggie open and was instantly excited by what he saw. A loose mixture of random cigarettes and joints freely blended among each other. “Oh! You know what, that’s where I put all of my random shit. Most of it is like- hand rolled and homegrown and all of that organic shit.” Steven explained as he snatched the bag from his hands and pulled out a rather pathetic looking joint. “Some of our peers cannot roll for shit! Not saying who but his name may or may not rhyme with uh- Paxil Hose.” The drummer giggled and placed one of the tan, thinly rolled joints in Duff’s palm. “Oh, damn. That is plain sad, man.” He mumbled as he examined it between two fingers. Haphazardly, he ashed his cigarette on Steven's mattress, to which he groaned but remained wordless, and placed the joint between his now empty lips. The paper was ever so slightly unraveling on the side, so Duff licked out a small line against the rolling paper. Steven grinned at the thin smell of weed that hazed around the room as Duff brought his lighter to the twisted tip of the joint.

Duff inhaled a thick gasp of smoke and held it in. One, two, three. Then, he exhaled a small handful of coughs. “Shit. This shit is… Jesus! Nasty.” He sputtered and placed the blunt between Steven's v-shaped fingers. The drummer pulled the cigarette from between his lips and carefully slotted it between Duff’s lips. He gently and carefully enclosed them around it. The familiar, safe tobacco clouded his mouth as he inhaled. Steven took a thick mouthful of smoke from the joint. Duff was right, it was like- putrid. God, what the hell kind of dank did Axl have in his possession? “Fuck! Ew.” He coughed and groaned while ruffling his hands through his wiry mane. The slowly burning joint inches just a centimeter too close to his hair and burnt away a few hairs before Duff noticed. “Steven- Steven!” Duff yelped, swatting at his hair. “You’re gonna fuckin’ catch yourself on fire, man.” He chuckled, wiping away at the singed hair near his temple.

Hey, remember that time when you OD'ed?

“Fuck. Is it cold in here, or is that just me? It’s like- I dunno- I can’t breathe. Somethin’ on my chest.” Duff slurred, flexing his quickly numbing fingers. “You okay?” Steven questioned, spitting it out. A thin sheen of sweat licked across Duff’s clammy skin. He felt as if his brain was leaking from his ears. “Duff?” Steven questioned and grabbed his face with one hand. “Dude- speak to me here. You’re freaking me out.” A big nervous smile crept up upon his lips as he gripped Duff’s shoulder. Duff didn’t respond. Instead, his head just lolled off to the side. When the fuck had he passed out? “Duff!” He hissed. “Duff, get up. This isn’t fucking funny.” He smacked the side of his feverish cheek, desperately waiting for his eyes to flutter open. But, they didn’t. He was still breathing small shallow breaths. His heart was still thumping under Steven’s palm, which had snaked down to his left breast to feel his heartbeat because, well, Steven didn’t know where the hell a pulse point was!

“Axl! Slash! One of you get the fuck in here! Get the damn phone!” Steven screeched, his brain finally catching up on the fact that Duff had overdosed. It was weird because Steven wasn’t overdosing. Had he not taken the exact same shit? He felt fine, barely even high. So what the hell had happened? He truly didn’t know. Finally, Axl skittered down the hallway, dressed only in a big graphic shirt, his red boxers, and tube socks with their shared janky Motorola DynaTAC in hand. “What? What? The hell is happening?” He groaned, sleep-laced voice croaking mid-sentence. His fists rubbed at his eyes for a moment. “Oh. Shit.” He cursed, taking in Duff’s slightly blue drool-coated lips. It’s almost as if he was snapped away. Axl feverishly punched in ‘9-1-1’ into the phone as he muttered under his breath.

This freaked Steven the fuck out, more so than he already was. Big fat tears rolled down his rosy cheeks as he held the bassist to his chest. “If you die, I’ll kill myself just to kill you again.” He hiccuped into his blond hair while Axl grumbled out their address to the operator on the other end of the phone. “Hey, Stevie, roll him on his side, will ya? Thanks.” Axl barked as he shoved himself into a pair of jeans, the phone still propped up to his ear with his shoulder. “No- no not you, my roommate. Why would I tell you that?” He groaned at the phone, his voice becoming quieter and quieter as he receded into the other end of the house in search of his sneakers. Steven sat there, silent. Simply waiting. Luckily for him and Duff, when the men plucked out their home from the many selections they were given they chose the one closest to the local emergency room. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared sometimes.

Hey, remember that other time when you OD'ed for the second time?

The door was opened and Duff was gone before Steven could think about it too much. He saw the paramedics. He knows they flashed a light in his eyes and murmured something about ‘fentanyl' while ushering him onto a stretcher. He knows that he told them too much about Duff- like that he had seven siblings and that his favorite color was green while frantically showing these strangers his bracelets. Axl had come mid-rant and told Steven to go put on his shoes- despite him already having them on so that he could actually give them Duff’s information. During this, Steven ran circles around the house, desperately looking for something- anything to do. Then, it clicked. Paper. He licked the paper. Steven wasn’t sure he had ever run so fast. “Axl- he- the paper! Duff licked it.” He blubbered, grabbing the ginger man by the shoulders. Axl grunted and placed his hands on Steven’s shoulders, mimicking his pose. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Slow down, calm yourself and tell me in the car.” The vocalist spoke, rubbing Steven's shoulders. This was probably the nicest he had ever been to Steven.

The drummer scrambled to get in Axl’s janky Chevrolet Cavalier. The two of them rushed to the car. Though Steven was quicker in his movements, Axl moved with just as much urgency. Axl didn’t bother to get buckled. It was a short ride and hell, they were already going to the hospital anyways! With the speed he rushed to get buckled, Stevens' fishnet shirt got buckled in with him, the belt interlacing between the wide diamonds of thread. He ripped the shirt out of it, leaving a wide hole next to his ribs. The car was technically new, yes, but the thing was a fourth of the original price because half of the parts had already been stripped for cash. So, it barely sputtered to life. They weren’t quite sure how it was still running. Axl drummed his palms against the wheel as he backed out of their driveway.

“Okay. Spill.” He sighed out, pushing softly on the gas. The car couldn’t go a mile over 30, or it’d die on them. “So- um, y’know that one joint you gave me a few weeks ago?” Steven nervously wrung his hands. “Excuse me? The one that went fucking missing? You asshole! You told me you didn’t touch that shit when it went missing!” Axl screeched. “Okay failure on my behalf to mention that. Oops. Anyways- um do you know where the weed- or the paper came from?” He sheepishly continued, staring at Axl’s clenched jaw. “I dunno- some chick. Sophia or something.” He groaned, sensing that he knew exactly where this was going. “Okay well, Sophia was out to get you or something because it was starting to unravel in his hand n’ then he licked it and- I think he felt fine when he took a hit, and then he was all hauled ass up!” Steven rambled as the car screeched to a halt. The parking job was shit, neither of them had even really realized they had gotten to the hospital yet. “Shit. Shit. Okay- fuck! We’re here.” Axl hissed as he backed out of the car, Steven shortly following suit.

Well, in the waiting room while waiting for news of you

I hallucinated I could read your mind

They didn’t talk during the walk inside, nor did they talk while Axl explained their situation to the sweet old receptionist. Thick honey-like tension dripped from both of them. Not only was Duff quite literally in the hospital, but Steven also had sticky fingers! In his defense, he didn’t mean to steal it. Sometimes, you’re just a little absent-minded. It happens to like- everyone. No Biggie. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Axl finally spoke with a heavy sigh. “I dunno,” Steven replied as he picked through the handful of magazines on a side table. Truth be told, he could care less about whatever celebrity drama was happening right now, but what else could he do? They were quite literally sitting ducks. The receptionist had told Axl that she’d call out his name as soon as she knew Duff was conscious and visitable, but for now, they should just wait. For a while, sitting down was fine.

Then, this dull poking sensation in Steven's buttocks got unbearable, so he stood up and fished whatever it was out of his back pocket. “My teeth!” He grinned, holding the yellow enamel in his palm. “What the fuck!” Axl yelped as he stared down at the two teeth that sat in Steven’s palm. “Me n’ Duff found ‘em earlier. I think they’re lucky.” He smiled, giving them a small shake. In reality, if they were anything, they’d be unlucky. How else could he explain that his best friend overdosed mere hours after they discovered them? It’s fine. Axl didn’t need to know that! “You’re fucking gross.” He grumbled, throwing himself down onto one of the hard plastic waiting room chairs. It was Steven’s turn to get up and pace back and forth. He rubbed the teeth around in his palm as he burned a hole in the tiles. Occasionally, his converse would let out a grotesque squeak which was followed by a large grey scuff across the floor and he’d mutter out a sheepish apology. His feet never stopped moving. With his teeth in hand, Steven prayed for the first time in years. Unfortunately, his mind wandered too often to have a focused prayer session.

‘God if you hear this, can you get Duff out of this god-awful place already? It smells so fake- sterilized? Is that a word? Thanks. Could you imagine if I could read Duff's mind? That’s crazy. I bet he’s dreaming about screwing some broad or something. I wish I had arm candy as often as he did. I want candy. God- please grant me the wish to have even just a dollar in my wallet. I want a Snickers bar, dude! I’m tired. Anyways- back to Duff. When he gets out of here, you should give us some cash to go to Burger King or something. Hide it under the couch, if you’re even listening. Thanks, God.’

That was Stevens' exact thought process. Thank God for simple-minded men, such as Steven Adler.

And I was on a lot of shit too, but what I saw, man, I tell you it was freaky

“Michael Andrew McKagan? Is there someone here for a- uh, Michael Andrew McKagan?” A nurse in polka-dotted scrubs questioned. Axl raised his hand, got out of his seat, grabbed Steven by the wrist, and led him through the white hospital hallway. “Doctors, man. They make me so nervous.” Steven hissed, using his free hand to wipe his hair out of his face. “Oh, I can tell. You’re soaked in sweat.” Axl grinned back, just as sardonic as ever. He sputtered. Steven wasn’t actually sure how Axl knew where to go. Either Axl could actually read people's minds, or Steven had just zoned out on the part where the nurse told them where to go. It’s probably the latter. That vague, sad crying noise that every hospital seemed to have echoed around the stark halls as they reached the door. The drummer felt nauseous but, hey, someone else in the facility probably felt worse! So, he didn’t feel as if his situation was all that bad after all. I mean, unless you count almost killing your best friend as bad, Then it was horrible.

“I’ll let you have your little sappy moment, try to make it quick, though. On the way home, we can grab fast food or something.” Axl coughed, standing outside the door like a guard dog. Maybe God had listened, after all. Steven stood still for a moment as he grasped the cool metal doorknob, just gazing at himself in the reflection. He looked like a mess, at least he did from the awkward angle that the silver knob was at. The slightly burnt spot in his hair looked more obnoxiously obvious. He shoved the teeth back into his pocket. Finally, he pushed the door open. Duff looked- well, better than expected, but still rough. “Steven!” He croaked from his spot in the bed, raising his IV’ed arms at him. The idea of a hug from the bassist was ever so beckoning, but terrifying at the same time. “I’m not gonna break, probably, c’mon man!” He grinned. Steven mimicked his beam and rushed at the man. A blur of blond hair, denim, and fishnet stormed across the floor impossibly fast. The two of them giggled as they became entangled with each other. “Are you crying?” Duff mumbled into his wild hair.

“Man, shut up, Michael.”

“Don’t call me that! Asshat.” Duff teased. Steven didn’t even know his name was ever anything other than Duff, he didn't look like a ‘Michael’. “You look like shit, sorry about y’know,” Steven paused as he stared up at him, “everything.” Duff just smiled down at him and reassuringly rubbed his back. Whoever had cleaned him up had wiped away the crusted blood on his upper lip. His lips were more red; properly colored. He looked alive, once more. “It’s whatever. I was already a little wasted when we left the house, anyways. Whatever the hell was in that joint did not mix well with the shit I had already taken.” He giggled, resting his chin on top of Steven’s head.

“Axl’s here, y’know? He cried a little bit, I think.”

“Oh, like this is the first overdose he’s witnessed in this band!”

Freaky.

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bbiemochi · 2 years

Note

hi!! may i request a songfic with ei inspired by him & i by halsey?? everytime i listen to that song i think of her!!! have a nice day!!

𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 | raiden ei x reader

[an]: hello! i’m sorry this took long! :,D i was lacking inspo while writing because this is the first time i’m writing songfic including for someone like ei ToT aND I HAD TO LOOK FOR THE MEANING OF THE SONG ONLINE SO I COULD GRASP SOME IDEAS SO YEAH </3

summary: just like what lovers do, you and ei would absolutely do anything for each…a love for eternity filled with danger and passion.

pairing: raiden ei x g/n!reader!

genre: fluff + songfic!

warning: slight spoilers for the raiden ei’s backstory

song to listen to while reading <3:

***

cross my heart, hope to die…

to my lover, i’d never lie…

he said “be true,” i swear i’ll try…

in the end, it’s him and i…

“would you die for me…?” such simple sentence that every couple would question to their lover. with no rope tied between their promises, either the reply they make was a lie, or an absolute truth. with turns in each shape, each lover would hold dear to their words…or crush it like dough on the ground. but to the both of you, there was no need for promises, as your love for one another was eternal, a sparkling electricity.

“there is no would. because there is no reason for me to die whether my enemy is an archon too, or not,” is what ei instead replies as she gripped onto your hand, beautiful purple eyes staring deep into yours like a puddle. “i would fight for you, even if it takes a thousand years. even if it means the wreckage of my plane of euthymia. i promised makoto that i will not die…as long as inazuma still stands before me. i will keep fighting for this region…and for you.”

he’s out his head…

i’m out my mind…

we got that love, the crazy kind…

i am his, and he is mine…

in the end, it’s him and i…

you could hear yae erupt out a soft laughter while you watched her do so, bashfully standing on the side near the tree of narukami. the pink sly fox that ei warned you about so long ago looked at you with those teasing eyes, and you suddenly know why gorou was so afraid of her. “you’re lucky i’m finished writing the letter to the traveler…but, since you asked—i’ll gladly help you prepare a small celebration and a gift for our beloved ei’s birthday. how generous of me, right?” she says, hands on her chin placed, elegantly. you turned to yae with eyes filled with hope, a wide smile now painted on your face.

“however…” she yet began once more, “you’ll have to help me tomorrow for my celebration at the shrine. do we have a deal…?” as the woman’s hand extended out in front of your view, you took a deep breath before taking her hand and shaking it. you felt a small zap when you took her hand, it didn’t hurt—however you had a feeling the deal was permanent in the pink haired woman’s palms. yae chuckles, “…you’re willing to take anything just to give her a special party, are you?”

“i must do what i must.”

“you’re really into her, are you?” there she goes again with the tease.

they don’t wanna see us make it, they just wanna divide…

2017 bonnie and clyde…

wouldn’t see the point of living on if one of us died, yeah…

time ran quickly as the covers of night dragged towards the skies, clearing with a thousand stars hidden beneath the cotton candy clouds that creates the evening shiver. your heart pounded loudly in your chest as you looked at yourself in the mirror for the 4th time this night. ei’s birthday…just the two of you. yae’s sly voice wouldn’t crawl out of your head as the thought made you linger with a bashful expression. the small candles flicked on each side while you waited for your lover to arrive at the area. according to general kujou sara, ei was still preparing to head out as lady yae was helping her with the archon’s outfit for the night. who knew what that woman was planning?

you bite your thumb, feeling an intense nerve rush through your spine. you were so not ready, you were nervous, very nervous. wanna check at the mirror again? maybe this time there was something on your face that you didn’t notice after relooking for the 4th time. ah, what the hell were you thinking? it’s just a small celebration for ei…nothing much…just take a deep breath and—

“yoo-hoo~ y/n, our lovely ei has arrived.”

got that kind of style everybody want to rip off…

ysl dress under when she takes the mink off…

you immediately turned around in a hurry when the doors were slid opened by none other than the pink fox herself…and, behind the woman, was ei standing…wearing not her usual every day clothing…but something else. it was an elegant and exquisite kimono. light violet, patterns glittered with yellow twinkling star designs and small cranes. her hair was tied not in a braid, but in a low ponytail that was carried over her shoulders. ei…looked so beautiful.

just with the sight, your cheeks heated up from the sight of your lover. you could feel yae’s smirk on the side. your body was frozen, stunned from her amazing presence shown in your point of view. “w-wow…” you managed to stutter out. ei’s eyes met yours, and there was a sudden electric connection. the traveler and paimon came out to the sides as well, wide grins spread across their cheeks with the traveler’s hands carrying what seems to look like a tray of food.

silk on her body…

pull it down and watch it slip off…

“that was a very long time ago, y/n.”

“still…! can i not remember such a dear memory close to heart?!”

she’s stubborn in this state. so very stubborn. no matter how many times you’ve told her not to fight the shogun…she wouldn’t listen. no, you…wouldn’t listen. ei’s body was about to go stiff because of the state she’s in. all you wanted her was to relax a bit inside the plane of euthymia…without any worries to pressure her. however, your reasoning at this time was wrong.

despite still being together…the two of you have different views for this situation. what puts you off more was when the traveler agreed to her decision…since, she is an archon still after all…ei protected you for so long…but how about you? what can you do for her?

crazy but i love her…

i could never run from her…

hit it, no rubber…

never would let anyone touch her…

swear we drive each other mad…

she be so stubborn…

you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong…how you were so wrong of the perspective you had towards ei’s situation with the shogun. you had no idea how many times you bowed your head and thanked the traveler for having them to watch over your lover as she fought…and talked to makoto one last time. now, here you are…ei sat down to your side as the both of you stared of how the sun falls down into the depth of the skies. her pose was formal, both of her palms a little scarred…yet they were on top of one another as her eyes are closed shut, calmly. you were silent as ever before the woman spoke, “let it out.”

“h-huh?”

“i’m not mad. just let out what you want to say…i’ll listen.”

you did exactly as she told you. the entire time her expression was nonchalant. no any sign of reaction while you spoke out everything that was hiding deep inside your heart….and she listens.

but, what the fuck is love with no pain? no suffer?

intense, this shit, it gets dense…

“i’m grateful.” her answer was a mix of peace and calmness. her eyes follows as she began to brew the tea while you watched, eyes on the floor. “i’m grateful that you would do such for me even if we are fates connected to one another like thunder….” as the smoke from the tea brewed in the air, the scent of leaves entering your scent got to you before ei sat in front of your figure and held her hand in yours.

“as we are lovers, we must stay loyal to another. cloud connecting to cloud to create rain—hearts beat together…and…” she looked away for a moment before continuing her sentence, “…our ropes connected from our fingertips…” ei slowly brought your hand towards her cheeks, cuddling onto it as she finished her words. “…must always be connected.”

it’s insane of how much you would sacrifice for her.

and it’s crazy of how the electro archon would sacrifice for you.

always in the end. it’s you and her.

***

a/n: i’m not rlly sure about this one ToT it’s my first time writing a songfic </3

requests: opened! <3

#lucy’s works 📚✨#lucy works 🍕💗#genshin impact #genshin x reader #raiden ei #ei x reader #raiden shogun x reader #songfic???#lucy shut up 🧀✨#💌. lucyanswers

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futureboy-ao3 · 2 years

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Omg the fucking alfreyco PowerPoint you absolutely mad lad!! Ok back to business, I would love just LOOVEEE to hear more about this red web found footage thing pplleaseee :3

I SAID I WOULD DO THE POWERPOINT FIC AND I AM COMMITTED!!

but omg yes found footage... i'm playing with the format a LOT and it's either gonna work super well or crash and burn. to be honest i don't care either way, it's nice to experiment with the layout LMAO

effectively - the red web fellas are investigating a particular kind of cryptid in a backwater town, and this is the documentary of their efforts to locate and contain it. with ~emotions~! and alfreyco

it's over 5k, i got a lot of blanks to fill in and i took out a whole musical signposting/songfic-esque thing that wasn't working. i'll finish it one day.... hopefully this year.

here's a little snippy snip!!

Christian: “Urban safari. That’s what this is. We’re on, like… the trail of… creatures.” Trevor: “And critters! You ever seen those videos of raccoons tryna eat cotton candy?”

#misc #fornhaus #AYYY THANKS PAL

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olddirtybadfic · 2 months

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You Got Played: A Yu-Gi-Oh Songfic (Part One of Five)

I warned you.

This fic contains: Teen!me laboring under the delusion that Bandit Keith is the same age as Yugi and company; song lyrics inserted into the prose; Kaiba and Bandit Keith dueling in bed without cards to "Cotton Eye Joe"; author's notes to give track listings; condom mention; cheating; terrible OC; terrible OC uses the r-slur; Noah Kaiba somehow being alive and bizarrely invested in his brother's romantic life; Kaiba is classist about McDonalds

-O-o-O-o-O-

Kaiba sat at his computer, lost in thought.

He kept daydreaming of his new boyfriend, Bandit Keith. Kaiba and Keith had been dating for about two weeks. Kaiba’s new group of friends, Yugi and company, wasn’t sure that he should be dating a character like Keith, but Keith had seemingly changed from a low-down, dirty cheater to an acceptable choice for a boyfriend. Plus, they knew that Kaiba could take care of himself, so they figured it would be okay.

Kaiba blew his reddish-brown hair out of his face. His dark blue eyes began to get a look of anticipation in them. He was going to see Keith that night. He and Keith always went out on their dates at night. Kaiba didn’t think this was weird because he wasn’t very fond of going out during the day. He thought it was boring. The night was just more interesting to him.

Another odd thing that Keith did was forbid Kaiba to tell anyone outside of his brothers and Yugi’s group of friends. Keith had told Kaiba that if he didn’t tell anyone outside of the aforementioned people, then the press wouldn’t find out and be after them. After all, he and Kaiba dating would make a great article in a magazine, since Kaiba was the World Champion at Duel Monsters and Keith was the Intercontinental Champion. Kaiba thought this part was sort of weird because the press couldn’t care less about them; they were too busy going after pop stars and actors to worry about duelists. But Keith told him that he should keep it a secret just in case the press started to actually care about the lives of duelists.

That night, Keith waited in a dark corner of the schoolyard of Domino High School. A tall, slim figure approached him.

“Who’s there?” Keith asked lazily, combing his dirty blond hair with his fingers.

“I’m here.” The figure stepped out of the darkness. It was Kaiba, dressed in a black shirt, black pants, black boots, and his white trenchcoat.

“Damn Kaiba, you look fine as hell!” Keith said, walking over to Kaiba.

“Thank you, Keith,” Kaiba answered.

Keith put his arm around Kaiba’s shoulders and the two walked off.

Keith and Kaiba went to see a horror movie. Kaiba wasn’t that interested in horror movies, but he didn’t mind because Keith was there.

When the movie was over, Keith walked Kaiba home. After Kaiba went inside of his mansion, and Keith began to walk away, another figure stepped into the spotlight of the streetlights.

“Hey, Keith,” a female voice purred.

Keith turned to look to the left, which was where the voice came from. A girl stood in the light. She had piercing green eyes, wavy blond hair that cascaded to her waist, and although she had very tanned skin, one could tell that she was Caucasian. She wore a pink tank top and tight blue jeans, cut off at mid-thigh.

“Hey, Kyra,” Keith said.

“What��re you doing in such a fancy neighborhood?” Kyra’s high voice floated out seductively.

“Just walking.” Keith stopped to ogle Kyra.

“You haven’t forgotten our date tomorrow afternoon, have you?” Kyra asked, stepping rather close to Keith.

“How could I forget our one-month anniversary?” Keith said putting his arm around Kyra’s waist.

“I’ll wear something extra-sexy,” Kyra said.

Then she and Keith kissed, then walked off together.

-O-o-O-

Kaiba went upstairs to his room. He threw himself onto his bed. He almost wanted to sing, he was so happy. He had never felt like this before.

Mokuba was walking past Kaiba’s room. He saw Kaiba stare off into space, then suddenly start laughing for no apparent reason.

“Seto? Are you feeling okay?” Mokuba asked. It wasn’t like Kaiba to just start laughing for no reason, unless he was practicing his evil laugh.

“Keith makes me so happy,” Kaiba said.

Mokuba understood. “So, how was your date tonight?”

“We went to see ‘Saw’ and then we went to dinner at McDonalds,” Kaiba answered. (The last part of their date involved Keith saying “I love you, baby, so you can supersize it.” How cheap.) “It was sort of good because Keith was there, but I didn’t like the movie. You shouldn’t see ‘Saw.’”

“Not even if you’re at a playground?”

Kaiba smiled at Mokuba’s pun. “It’s a really dumb movie. I think it was rated ‘R’, but the people selling the tickets didn’t ask how old we were, so we were able to get in,” Kaiba continued. “He made it less boring by making cute little sarcastic comments. We were the only two people in the theater, so it was okay. And I know this part is going to sound weird coming from me, but he let me cuddle up to him during the supposedly scary parts.” Kaiba chuckled sexily.

Mokuba was fascinated. While he didn’t fully trust Bandit Keith, he liked the way Keith made his brother so happy.

At that moment, their older brother, Noah, walked in. Noah was very protective of his two younger brothers, and he definitely did not trust Keith. In fact, he didn’t really trust anyone who dated Kaiba. He was afraid that they would treat Kaiba the wrong way.

Noah walked over to Kaiba’s bed and sat down next to the two of them. “So, how did your date go?”

“We went to a movie and then we went to dinner,” Kaiba answered, still in a dreamy, trance-like state.

“Keith didn’t take advantage of you, did he? He didn’t try to get you to do anything you didn’t want to?”

Kaiba sighed. “Noah, by now you must realize that nobody can make me do anything I don’t want to do. You must also realize that if Keith was trying to take advantage of me, I would catch him and he would be in a world of trouble. So don’t worry about it.”

Noah ran his hands through his green hair. “I just get so worried whenever you go out with Keith. I mean, you only go out at night and you always go to places where there aren’t a lot of people. I’m just afraid that he might hurt you.”

“Don’t worry, Noah. I can take care of myself,” Kaiba said.

-O-o-O-

The next day, Kaiba sat in his mansion, doing something on the computer. His next date with Keith wasn’t until that night.

Keith went out with Kyra for their one-month anniversary. Kyra wore a short, low-cut pink mini-dress with high-heeled shoes. Keith wore a red T-shirt and jeans.

“This is such a great restaurant,” Kyra commented, as their food was brought to the table. They were at the Domino Mall in a restaurant called “Café Bistro.” It was a semi-classy restaurant, which meant the waiters had to wear suits. There was a man playing the piano in a corner of the restaurant.

“Only the best for my girlfriend,” Keith said, touching Kyra’s hand.

Kyra caught sight of a group of kids outside the restaurant. Yugi and company were listening to the music that was playing in the mall.

“Come on, come on, get it on, we’re ridin’ in our rollacoasta!” Joey was singing along to the song that was playing as Yugi, Yami, and Tea watched. Tristan was dancing comically next to Joey.

“Who’re those losers?” Kyra asked.

Keith saw them. “They’re just some kids who’re at our school. They act like that all the time.”

Just then, out of the corner of his eye, Keith saw a green-haired boy and a younger boy with black hair approaching. He nearly choked on his food. “Oh, hell, no! What’re those Kaibas doing here?!” he thought frantically.

Kyra saw Noah and Mokuba. “Whoa…..did he dye his hair, or is he a plant-based life form?” she commented on Noah’s interesting hair color.

“Um…they’re just some rich kids,” Keith answered quickly. Then to change the subject, he added, “You weren’t kidding when you said you’d wear something extra-sexy.”

Kyra giggled like the ditz she was. “You’re so sexy when you say things like that!”

Outside of the restaurant’s window, Keith caught Mokuba’s eye. “Hey, there’s Bandit Keith!” Mokuba said. “But who’s that girl with him?”

He and Noah watched Keith and Kyra talking and laughing.

“I don’t like the looks of this,” Noah said.

“Maybe she’s his sister,” Mokuba suggested.

They watched Keith and Kyra start to kiss on the lips.

“Or maybe she’s not,” Mokuba corrected himself.

“Holy crap! Keith’s a player! We have to tell Seto!” Noah exclaimed.

“Tell me what?” Kaiba had walked up behind them. He had not heard the first part of their conversation or seen Keith and Kyra in the restaurant.

In the restaurant, Kyra had seen Kaiba walk over to his brothers. “Oh my god, who is that freak in the white trenchcoat? He looks like some kind of retarded robot,” Kyra said.

Keith looked out the window and saw the three brothers. “Oh, shit, Kaiba’s here, too!” he thought.

“Do you know that boy?” Kyra asked Keith.

“Uh….he’s just another rich kid,” Keith answered.

Back outside, Kaiba was still waiting for an answer. His back was to the restaurant’s window.

“What did you want to tell me?” he asked.

Noah started to say something, but Mokuba interrupted. “We were going to say that we want you to come and see what’s in Hot Topic with us. Come on, Big Brother!”

Mokuba dragged both Kaiba and Noah off in the direction of Hot Topic. In the restaurant, Kyra was still yapping away.

Keith inwardly sighed with relief after seeing the brothers leave. “That was close,” he thought.

That night, Kaiba stared out of his window at the moon. He was getting ready for his date with Keith. They were going to go to the park and look at the stars. Kaiba loved to find each constellation and explain all about it because….well, because he’s smart like that. Keith didn’t seem to mind Kaiba talking. Keith always just responded by saying, “That’s my smart Kaiba.”

‘He came to town like a midwinter storm. He rode through the fields, so handsome and strong. His eyes were his tools and his smile was his gun, But all he had come for was having some fun.’ (author's note: Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex)

Kaiba and Keith walked through the dark streets holding hands. Kaiba looked up at Keith, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

They sat in the park in silence, looking at the stars. Kaiba was sitting about a foot away from Keith, looking at the stars, trying to see if he could find any constellations.

Keith looked over at the boy. “Kaiba’s sitting awfully far away,” he thought. He moved in closer to Kaiba. Kaiba’s pale face seemed to glow in the moonlight.

Kaiba blushed as he noticed Keith move closer. Kaiba wasn’t sure he liked Keith getting that close.

Then, Keith slid his arm around Kaiba’s waist. Kaiba turned an even deeper shade of red upon feeling Keith’s arm around his waist.

Kaiba suddenly realized that he actually liked Keith being that close to him.

Suddenly, they heard voices coming from somewhere in the park.

“I wonder what Keith’s up to without us?” They recognized this voice as Bonz, one of the members of Keith’s gang.

“Yeah. It’s been bloody borin’ without `im.” They recognized this voice as Sid, another member of Keith’s gang.

“Fuck! It’s my old gang! They’re not too fond of the idea of us going out together, so we gotta get outta here!” Keith whispered to Kaiba.

Kaiba hesitantly escaped with Keith. They ran through a couple of alleys, jumped over a fence, and finally ended up at Keith’s house. They were the only ones there.

“So what’ll we do now?” Kaiba asked.

“I have an idea.” Keith took out a condom.

Kaiba gasped.

“We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, though. We could do something else,” Keith continued. “But, if you don’t do it, you’ll really be missing out….”

Kaiba was quiet for a moment. He loved Keith, but he wasn’t sure he was ready for it. However, even though his brain was saying “No,” his body was saying “Go.” He took one look at Keith’s muscular, rock-hard body and began to feel like a cat in heat. Soon, he was so overwhelmed by his emotions that he couldn’t think straight.

“I…..I think I want to do it,” Kaiba said.

Keith closed the door and put the condom on. That night, Kaiba gave up his virginity to Keith.

‘He brought disaster wherever he went. The hearts of the girls were to hell broken sent. They all ran away so nobody would know And left only men ‘cause of Cotton-Eye Joe.’ (author's note: Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex)

By the time they were done, they were on the floor. Keith took off the condom. “Uh-oh.”

“What does that mean?” Kaiba asked, starting to get worried.

“The condom broke.”

Kaiba’s eyes widened in horror.

“Don’t worry. I don’t have any STDs, so neither do you,” Keith said, kissing Kaiba’s forehead. Then he picked Kaiba up and set him down on the bed.

“Now you have to promise me that this’ll be our little secret, okay, Kaiba?” Keith said.

“Why?” Kaiba asked.

“Because someone might spy on you telling your friends and it could leak out to the press. I know you think the press doesn’t care, but it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Keith said, stroking Kaiba’s hair.

“Oh.” Kaiba understood. “Can I at least tell my brothers?”

“Yes, but only them.”

Kaiba looked away. He hated having to keep their relationship a secret. He was suspicious that Keith might forget about him after this incident. What if Keith was planning to dump him? Is that why Keith made him keep it a secret? Could Keith be seeing another person? “That’s impossible,” Kaiba thought. “If he was cheating on me, I would have caught him by now. I would have picked up on some kind of clue that he accidentally let slip out, such as calling out someone else’s name. He couldn’t be cheating.”

‘We’ll fast-forward to a few years later. And no one knows except the both of us. And I have honored your request for silence. And you have washed your hands clean of this.’ (author's note: Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette)

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: A McDonalds date is not for a classy bitch like Seto Kaiba. Take him to the Waffle House.

#yugioh #ygo #yugioh fanfiction #seto kaiba #bandit keith #seto kaiba x bandit keith #mokuba kaiba #noah kaiba #eliteshipping #rarepair #rarepair hell #songfic #old fic

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ao3feed-crimeboys · 1 year

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Arson in Your (Our) Blood

by XylstGlitch

A bottle of kerosene weighed down his bloody bones. They say what can be used to aid humanity, could be also used for their downfall. More accurately, only one person in his hazy mind said that to him. Paraffin, or so-called lighter fluid from the ancient 1900s to the gasoline-smelling moisture tainted by wads of cotton inside speedy lighters. Just a click of flint and a blaze of tangerine would spread all over the area, licks of fiery hot heat kissing the corpse on the ground, as soon as Tommy splattered the crystal clear liquid over his handkerchief, setting the silver cloth ablaze with a cheap cigarette lighter.

The blond turned 18 a few weeks ago, cut him some slack.

He wonders how fast the police would find traces of him, the recently-turned-adult wasn’t exactly subtle after all, burning a whole body on a hillside cemetery. Wilbur would have scolded him to do a better job of this, but he isn’t here, right?

No matter, Tommy can meet him soon enough when the police detectives find traces of Thomas Soot in the remains of this unknown stranger.

(Or, crimeboys are batshit insane and arsonists, and Tommy would do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, for them to reunite.)

Words: 1380, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, No Romantic Relationship(s)

Additional Tags: Arsonist Wilbur Soot, Arsonist TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Murder, Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, honestly how can i tag this cuz this shit is wild af, Insane Wilbur Soot, Insane TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Fucked Up, Morally fucked up, there is no morally gray only goddamn batshit crazy, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Character Death, Murder Family, Blood, Insanity, and i mean fr, my brain went WEE WOO WEE WOO in the best way possible while writing this, Songfic, Song: Grenadine (Oliver Hazard), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Crime Scenes, Organized Crime, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, mayyybeee-? idk man wtf is this, Arson, Ambiguous/Open Ending

#ao3feed #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #crimeboys #crime boys #crimebois #crime bois #mcyt #This is an automated process #If you see any fic that breaks boundaries #or the fic is yours and you don't want it shared send an ask #it will be looked at and removed if need be

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skyward-pride · 2 years

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Close To You | Xiao x Reader

Warnings: Major character death, war, weapons, the reader is the pyro Adeptus

Word Count: 1,053

Other Notes: It’s like a songfic but not??? Based on the song “Close To You” by niki featuring vflower (but what I put was lyrics translated from the Vocaloid lyrics wiki); This is after Xiao gets saved by Rex Lapis and blah blah blah; Going off of a personal headcanon that Xiao was a little more extroverted and a little emotional until all the Yakshas died/disappeared; Happy birthday Xiao <33

The flowers that bloomed on the other side are only as beautiful as your laugh. Your breath ceases and you sleep as your smiling face blossomed…

Xiao had always loved you. From when the two of you were young adepti, he had always cared for you, even if it was in a somewhat complex way. He’d often bring you strange trinkets, such as weird-looking rocks, gems, and even strangely hardened slime condensate. Needless to say, you still appreciated all the gifts. He’d protect you from danger when you couldn’t protect yourself. He’d bring you lunch after you came back from grueling missions. He’d stay by your side as you rest after coming back from long missions. Everything was fine, until that day.

“Thank you,” I told you. As usual, like on that day, knowing the meaning of “goodbye,” my heart seems to be crushed.

The screams and cries were deafening. As you fought your way through the groups of murderous demons and possessed hilichurls, mitachurls, and samachurls, only one thought preoccupied your mind: Was Xiao okay? Was he hurt?

You fought your way through everything, trying to save civilians, though they were dying faster than you thought. Thankfully, you were able to save quite a few before you were surrounded by demons. Your grip tightened on your polearm, fear coursing through your blood. Sure, you had fought demons before, but you hadn’t fought a group this large. You started to fight them off, but when one would die, another one would take its place. It was an endless battle, and soon you were bloody and bruised, barely able to stand on your own two feet.

“Xiao!” you cried out, hoping the yaksha would appear at your side, as he always did.

Lucky for you, he was there in an instant, helping you fight.

In all honesty, [it’s] because I want to touch your heart and smiling face.

The two of you fought side by side until dawn. The demons disappeared and the possessed creatures returned to normal. The two of you had returned to Wangshu Inn, where the other Yakshas were waiting for the two of you.

“Indarias! Atalus! You’re back!”

You gave a weak smile as you leaned against Xiao. He quickly yet gently wrapped his arm around you.

“We’ll be back,” Xiao spoke, holding you closer to him. “I have to take care of (Y/n).” His heart was pounding, and the both of you could feel it.

“Since when were you two on a birth name bias?” Bonanus mused.

A faint blush rose on Xiao’s face. “I guess as of just now…”

You let out a small laugh before coughing.

Xiao slightly tightened his grip on you. “Come on, let’s get you patched up.” He treated you ever so gently, as if you were glass and you were going to break at the slightest wrong move.

Resisting the overflowing tears and staring at you, I hoped it would continue forever.

The two of you went to the infirmary, and Xiao patched up your wounds. You smiled softly at him, your heart beating faster. He looked so cute while he was concentrating. You blushed and quickly shook your head, hoping to get rid of the thought.

Did your eyes sparkle because those things were finite? My infinite heart and your heart connect. I want to be close to you forever and always. The pricelessness of repeatedly grasping your hand.

“(Y/n).”

“Yes, Xiao?”

“I need to clean your face.”

“Oh…” Your face heated up. The thought of Xiao that close to you was… scary, yet also made your face burn. Though, you decided to go with it. As soon as the cotton hit a cut on your face, you flinched.

Xiao looked at you. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. It just stings, that’s all.”

Xiao held out his hand to you. “Here. You can hold my hand. Squeeze it if you want.”

At this point, your face was on fire. You shyly grabbed his hand. As he went back to cleaning your wounds, you became lost in thought.

I denied it all and closed my eyes. Melt this scene into an untruth. With a shape, without infinity, your figure will someday decay with no shape, with infinity. My heart, what is it to do?

The nights that you’d fight demons were countless at this point. They were everywhere, possessing creatures, and they had no intention of stopping. While you were already wounded, you fought to protect the people of Liyue, and you had no intention of stopping whatsoever.

In all honesty, because we can’t walk together anymore. Resisting the overflowing tears and looking up at the sky, I continue to hope forever, searching for you. Only the finite things sparkle in my eyes. An infinite heartbeat, that heartbeat, I gave you.

“(Y/n). I brought you something.” A voice cut through your thoughts.

“Oh, Xiao!” What brings you here?”

“I wanted to bring you something.” He handed you something. “It’s a butterfly made out of leaves. It’s supposed to bring you good luck.”

“I- Thank you. But, what’s the occasion?” You asked.

“Morax had said something about it being your birthday, so I brought you a gift. Is it not good enough?”

“No, no! I love it.” You smiled.

“I’m glad.”

…I will be close to you forever and always. The overflowing tears and emotions are now beyond time. Only the formless things quietly turned to color in a finite time. I just barely touch your heart.

Xiao looked at the gravestone in front of him. You were long gone by now, yet every day he had missed you. He never got to tell you how he felt, and every day he regretted it. If only you could be here with him now.

All content except characters and possibly some settings and characters belong to skyward-pride. Please don’t translate, repost, and upload readings without permission. Reblogs are highly appreciated!

#xiao x y/n #xiao x you #genshin xiao x reader #xiao genshin impact #xiao x reader #xiao imagines #xiao angst #genshin impact x y/n #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x gn reader #—extensions of each other

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