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youarejesting · 3 years

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The Bomb

[Masterlist]

Beta: @juniethebug Rating: 16+ Pairing: Namjoon x Reader Genre: Mafia, enemies2lovers. Trigger Warnings: mentions of Violence, Gore, Torture, Drinking and wetting yourself in public from fear and a full bladder during a gun fight. Character death. Words: 9.4k

Summary: The leader of a mafia should be calm collected and poised. He should live meticulously and know what he needs to do. Namjoon was that man, he had rules that kept his business running smoothly and nothing can get in the way of that. Can it?

[Part 2]

Kim Namjoon, the leader of the biggest mafia in Seoul, lived his life by many rules. His first rule, a man should only cry three times in his life. The first time is when a man loses his mother, the one who raises a man to be who they are worth mourning.

The second when a man marries the love of his life and he shall weep tears of joy. The third and final time a man is allowed to cry is when he sees his first child born.

Pathetically sobbing against the dirty concrete while getting the life beaten out of you is not one of those three incidences. “I will ask you again, where is the payment I was promised?”

“He gave it to his daughter, used the money he was supposed to pay you, on his daughter; a beautiful emerald necklace. Something about it being her birthday and wanting to gift her with something as pretty as she is.” Yoongi scoffed, spinning the knife around his fingers a habit he had developed to keep his dexterous fingers busy.“Or at least that is what Hobi had to say after tailing the man all day. Just take the necklace from her pretty little neck; she doesn’t have to come with it.”

“The birthday party is tonight, a lavish affair for their daughter, every man, woman, and child from rich backgrounds were invited to the ball held at their Manor.” Jimin sighed, rolling some scotch in his glass.

“Be ready to leave in ten minutes.” Namjoon walked to the door, Jungkook opening it for him. A reminder of rule number fourteen; a powerful man never moves unnecessarily, which includes opening doors and stepping aside from someone.

Pulling on a black on black suit he fastened his Platinum Rolex to his wrist, in his classiest polished pair of dress shoes. Walking towards the front door, he stopped by the front door and Yoongi pulled open the suitcase, graced with the sight of two pistols both with a shiny custom nickel finish with gold filigree on the handle and barrel.

These were gifted to him by Taehyung, a man with an eye for the finest of arts. Just like the weapons he provided he was a beautiful young man with an innocent face. But he was a dangerous man and rule number ten. Never give the man who provides you with your weapons the chance to provide them for anyone else. Of course, naturally, that meant Namjoon hired him in an instant, not willing to let his enemies use his weapons dealer.

The boys were heading to the car; Seokjin was going to drive as he was the most sensible behind the wheel. Each piling in Namjoon looked at his watch and over the five individuals in the car.

“Should I tell Jimin to hurry up?” Taehyung said reaching for his phone, he was in the middle of texting when Namjoon placed his hand on the phone pushing it to his lap.

“No need we leave without him, he knows the rules-”

“Rule number fifteen, a man is never late,” Jungkook nodded; he lived by Namjoon’s word and his rules. Knew them better than Namjoon did himself, wrote them down, and numbered them as the leader taught him each one.

The car door was shut by Seokjin who situated himself into the driver's seat and pulled away from the house. House may be a bit of an understatement even Namjoon thought so, officially titled the Kim Manor with four stories complete with east and west wings, staff quarters, elaborate gardens, and land.

It was the picturesque home with lavish rooms headed to the front gates, a motorbike raced past and pulled up. Jimin climbed into the car with the others, grumbling about how the wind destroyed his hair.

He ran his fingers through his hair trying to return it to its former perfection, once the gates spread open they headed on their way to the party.

Each stepping out at the foot of the manor, fixing their hair and suits one last time before heading up the steps. “Your invitation, sir?”

Yoongi pulled out a gun and tapped it against the clipboard pushing it down so he could read it. “That's us there unchecked, sorry we are late, traffic is horrible at this time of the day,” the man swallowed thickly.

“Of course Mr. and Mrs. Le pomme, you don’t look French?”

“It’s Ms. Actually,” Yoongi poked the man's chest with his gun.

Namjoon turned speaking immaculate French to the young man and patted his shoulder. “Jungkook always learns a language, a man should never miss an opportunity to learn new things.”

Jungkook was writing the new rule down following behind them, Yoongi pushed the gun into his waistband and the group entered the manor. Walking the floor as a small unit they began analyzing the ballroom.

Jimin had disappeared and Jungkook smiled gesturing to the young woman who was mingling a beautiful emerald necklace delicately nestled against her decolletage. Namjoon looked her over. She was stunning with her smooth skin and gentle curls.

She was nothing like he expected, Namjoon thought she would have a dark tan and bleach blonde hair, with extensions and the latest trending nails and jewelry and shoes.

But this woman. This gorgeous woman had pale skin with sun-kissed freckles, her lips were a soft velvety crimson. She wore a simple black dress but somehow managed to still be the most beautiful person in the room. He could gaze at her forever and never get tired.

You smiled feeling proud of your outfit, it was such an elegant and complicated piece, a sweetheart bodice with off the shoulder lace straps it was a thin and long dress that fell to your ankles showing off a pair of thin heels.

It wasn’t a famous brand designer, no, you made this yourself there were many little fun hidden details. You were speaking with your friends when he approached.

He was handsome, his profile was strong one you would remember easily he had a small scar on his eyebrow but it added so much character to his image.

“Ladies,” he greeted the small group with a short bow, his eyes flicking up and meeting yours full of confidence and you gave a small friendly smile back.

“Shall we dance?” He asked, and you, never to be overdone, agreed. You had never been asked to dance before. Especially not by someone this handsome.

“My name is y/n. You?”

“You may call me Namjoon,” he smiled and you blushed, looking at his dimples, he was so charming and cute. But there was something about him he took the lead and guided you through a slow waltz. Something you couldn’t put a nail on. Something… sinister..?

You gasped clutching his bicep gently. He saw the emerald necklace secure around your delicate neck. Your breasts strained against your dress with every breath.

“You seem to be out of breath miss y/n?” His fingertips brushing gently across your décolletage. He too was breathing heavily from the physical activity of dancing.

“A testament to your dance skills,” you tried to laugh back.

“Perhaps we should get something to drink,” he took your hand and weaved it so your arm wrapped around his, “we can chat while you relax but I do apologize for being too enthusiastic.”

“No, really, it is okay,” you protested, not wanting to seem too affected honestly it was embarrassing to get tired after one vigorous dance.

“Indulge me,” Namjoon’s raspy voice reverberated so low you could have almost mistaken it for a purr, “I would very much like to steal a few extra moments with you”

“Well then, I shan’t protest,” you gestured towards the refreshment table where he handed you a champagne flute. The two of you drank slowly his eyes locked on yours.

“Sir,” a voice called politely, you were both pulled from your intense eye contact to see Your father flanked by two young and very handsome men.

“Thank you for inviting me to your party tonight, sir.” Namjoon shook his hand firmly, his voice made you shiver, it wasn’t as light as it had been before, there was something clipped in his tone. Your former suspicions returned to you. Hard.

“Ah, Mr. Kim, I am glad you could make it, I didn’t think you would come to such a small affair?” Your father smiled, he was sweating a sign he was nervous but trying to hold his cool.

“Dad is everything okay?” You took your father's pocket-handkerchief and dabbed his forehead.

“Darling I would like for you to get some pictures with your mother. It is your birthday after all,” you looked at him curiously and almost yielded to his request when a firm hand caught your wrist.

“Just a moment I would like to give you your birthday gift,” Namjoon smiled reaching into his pocket, his next statement seemed to cause the young man beside your father to scribble in a notebook. “A man must never come to a party empty-handed, especially not a birthday party.”

“Oh it’s okay, I don’t usually get presents anyway,” you were flustered by the prospect you always requested not to get presents to spare people the trouble of spending their money on material things.

“That is a shame a pretty young lady like yourself should be spoiled daily,” a hot flush pinked your skin and it crept up your neck.

He handed you a box wrapped in a small ribbon. She opened it to reveal an emerald bracelet just like the necklace she wore and he helped secure it to the wrist and smiled.

“Emerald looks brilliant on you?”

Namjoon looked your father directly in the eyes watching the man sweat. Would he sell out his own daughter for his own safety? “Well darling, mister Kim and I are just going to do a quick spot of business”

“Okay,” you nodded, Namjoon looked over his shoulder and made a gesture to Jungkook and Yoongi to keep an eye on you. While following your weasel-like father to his study.

“I know why you are here and I am sorry, I had the money ready to give you but it was my daughter’s birthday and I couldn’t turn up empty-handed,” Your father said “I will get you the money by the end of the week.”

“You will as I will have collateral just in case your daughter will leave with me.” Namjoon threatened before adding an afterthought “tonight”.

“Please don’t hurt her, I will get you the money, I promise. Please.” He pleaded, dropping onto his knees. Namjoon felt his eye twitch in disgust.

“You will give me the money, otherwise you will never see your daughter again.”

You were feeling kind of awkward, the two young men accompanying you weren’t awful company, they just weren’t very talkative.

“So you work with Namjoon?” you asked

“Mmm…” one so graciously grunted in response

“What do you do?” you swayed from foot to foot trying to strike up some sort of conversation.

“Mister Kim is an entrepreneur,” The taller man said excitedly. You nodded; he very obviously liked his boss.

“You seem to enjoy working for him then,” You asked happily and the two nodded going back to standing around.

“Ah, you must be the birthday girl?” A sweet voice called your attention, “Wah, You are so beautiful miss y/n?”

“Have we met?” Already knowing you hadn’t met any of these men they were way too handsome for you to just forget. He had long legs accentuated by his high waisted trousers, his feet moved one in front of the other with all the grace and caution like a model in a field of landmines. He scooped your hand into his grasp and kissed your knuckle’s eyes searching your person and the room. “Park Jimin.”

Beside him was a taller young man who was boyish with big rounded ears that added so much youth to his face. “I do not believe we have ma’am and that is a shame” He also kissed your knuckles politely and threw you a grin. “Kim Taehyung at your service.”

“Tell me, miss Y/n. Do you like Painting?” Taehyung asked with a grin and you nodded

“Though I am not good at it, yes.” You sighed while playing with your lace sleeve, you were currently surrounded by these very tall and intimidating men. “Do you like painting?”

“I enjoy it greatly my dear, would you be interested in painting with me?” He smiled brightly and you grinned feeling more relaxed.

“I would love to,” you grinned and they all got a text to their apple watches that they read and quickly dismissed from view.

“Miss y/n, we would like to hold a toast,” Jimin grinned, handing you a champagne flute. You nodded and Jimin led a toast celebrating your birthday, ending his short speech with. “You have to all drink it in one shot for the best of wishes for the birthday girl”

You drank heartedly watching them all drink as well, the conversation continued and you were happily chatting about all different things when you started to feel rather drowsy. “I think I drank too much.” You giggled, feeling tired, a warm coat was draped over your shoulders it was super roomy and you felt yourself drift off.

There were strange sounds and lights passing over you periodically, though it stirred you it wasn’t enough to wake you fully. Only when your body had fought the immense fatigue did you wake.

Everything was stale, the air, the room, life, for a moment you didn’t move. Your body was heavy and your head clouded. Taking a deep breath you sat up the lush blankets in their covers making noise against the soft satin sheet.

The room wasn’t yours, the furniture was all a dark almost black lacquered wood, the bedding was also all black. It was a dark room with thick heavy curtains.

Swinging your legs over the side of the bed you gripped the fourposter frame and stood upright nursing a slight ache behind your temples.

The floor was a white marble, searingly cold against your feet. You looked down at the sweet emerald négligée, your jewellery was placed on the bedside table.

Where you saw a glass of water, taking the glass you took a few sips quenching your thirst and pushing the bile rising in your throat back down.

Crossing the room, trying to find a bathroom you opened the first set of double doors and found a walk-in wardrobe. There were many suits inside and a door caught your eye, perhaps it led to the bathroom.

Opening the door you saw for the first time in your life real guns and weapons on display, wherever you are it mustn’t be safe. You picked up a small handgun like the ones you had seen in movies.

You moved on to the bathroom, your bladder was urgently requesting relief.

Opening the next doors you came across a bathroom like no other. It was all the same white marble, the feature was a round shower located in the middle of the room. With two curved sliding doors one on either side of the shower.

Between curved glass panels were stone pillars one which had been carved into as to create shelves with built-in product dispensers.

You saw a control panel on the outside of the shower and you wondered where the water came from but looking up at the hanging gold shower head that was almost as wide as the shower.

You could imagine how it would feel, like warm rain falling against your skin. On your right as you stepped in was a beautiful counter with his and her basins in front of a finely detailed gold framed mirror.

On the opposite wall to your left were shelves of fresh towels and a few cabinets and a seated area with a lady might do her makeup

Walking around the shower along the walls of towels you saw the toilet the door was made of frosted glass and you at this point didn’t care if you were quick you wouldn’t be seen.

You flushed and paused waiting for any signs of people coming to get you but you heard nothing.

You stepped out and circled the shower the back wall had a brilliant window and four short steps to a lifted square seating area with a cushioned window seat that lined the three of the square walls.

There was a small coffee table in the middle and continuing on the last corner of the room just between the sitting areas and the counter was a square bath fit for perhaps four people.

“Shit, where is she?” The sound made your pulse skyrocket, you needed to hide. You stood behind one of the big thick pillars on the outside of the shower. Hoping they would glance over the room.

You froze the gun behind your back and you waited. “Is she in here?” A voice said, “doesn’t look like it,” another said

“Where is she?” A raspy voice spoke.

“We don’t know, sir, Yoongi was posted outside and swears she didn’t leave so she has to be in here.”

“Y/n?” He called, “are you okay, you are a guest here I promise.”

You snorted, “that’s funny, I don’t remember being invited.”

“You don’t remember what happened last night do you?” He asked and you saw movement in the mirror. You grabbed the shower door and opened it stepping inside and pressing your back against a pillar.

The problem was opening one door opened both, you used your free hand to reach beside you and slowly close the glass door.

He smirked, grabbing the opposite glass door with his hand, stopping it from closing and pulling the door back open. “You won’t shoot me, baby, you are too gentle, hand it over and we can talk.”

You took a few heavy breaths psyching yourself up before pulling the trigger. Eyes squeezed shut only to hear a click, “shit!”

“You got some guts, I will give you that. I am proud, the weak don’t survive” He grinned, reaching outside the shower to the control panel and grinned “but you didn’t put a magazine in your gun, I could show you how?”

He pressed a button and cold water poured down, jolting you awake. You tried to avoid the water but you were soaked, he stepped inside and shut the door with his men standing guard either side.

“When you shoot a gun don’t close your eyes, baby otherwise how will you aim?” His chest pressed against yours and he grinned, taking your hand. “Now let’s get you dressed, and we can have a late breakfast.”

You struggled to pull your hand free, “why am I here?”

“Because your father borrowed five hundred thousand dollars from me and didn’t pay it back in time,” he gently tucked your wet hair behind your ear frowning at how it stuck to your neck, how the small négligée clung to your skin and how your body reacted to the cold. “So I took you as collateral for my money. How very gentlemanly of you.”

He took the gun from your hand and grinned, “you are spirited and I like that, but do not worry my only intentions are my money no harm will come to you, you are actually really interesting I would like to get to know you more.”

“Come let’s have breakfast baby,” he said over his shoulder

You followed him obediently your goal was to play your way out, cooperation until they let their guard down. Stepping out of the Taehyung standing there with a grin, and he held up a bag, “Hoseok and I bought you clothes?”

You nodded while taking the bag pondering a recurring thought, “who changed me last night?”

“I did, love but do not fret, I am a doctor and I assure you I did nothing inappropriate, while you were asleep. I would never, it’s too much work?” the short black-haired man spoke twirling a knife around his fingers.

“Seriously, I don’t think Yoongi is human, we have taken him to so many brothels and he doesn’t get turned on at all,” you made eye contact with Yoongi who looked away causing you to crease your eyebrows.

“I respect women and their professions?” Yoongi sighed, and you nodded thoughtfully walking into the bathroom and staring in the mirror. Eventually getting out of the wet garment and into a beautiful sundress.

Processing your thoughts meticulously. He said you were here until your father paid his debt. He said he wouldn’t harm you. You had many unanswered questions but you felt a little reassured by these factors. You were still scared out of your wits but

When you stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed you felt much better. The room was empty except Yoongi and you sighed looking at him. “I really didn’t do anything.”

“I believe you, do not stress,” you patted his shoulder and with a deep breath in, you puffed up your chest, square your shoulders, and strode forward to the door with a firm nod. Yoongi navigated you through the halls behind you trying to keep up but you didn’t slow down.

“Through to the end room two double doors,” he panted as you lost him down the hall, throwing the doors open, guns were drawn and all your new found confidence dwindled.

“Ah, my apologies we usually knock.” Namjoon smiled holding his hands out to his men to stand down, “it’s polite.”

“Is kidnapping me polite?” You scoffed stomping towards him. “You said I am here till my father pays his debt and then I am free to leave correct?”

“Yes, that is—”

“So am I a prisoner?”

“You are a guest,” he said.

“So I can leave?”

“No.”

“Do you happen to know the definition of prisoner?”

“I believe you are referring to the noun of a person captured and kept confined by an enemy or criminal” he sighed “listen would you like to see a real prisoner? I can guarantee you are treated better than some of our other guests in this house”

Taken back by his words you looked away and sighed slumping into the empty seat at the other end of the table “who are you really?”

“I am Kim Namjoon, also known as RM,” he looked down the table at you. You were silent while eating, pondering this information biding your time before you could ask some more.

“Now for business?” Namjoon gestured for his men to start talking.

“Uh about mister Lee, I have successfully um… spoken?” The word came out as more of a question as Seokjin side-eyed you, “with him and he told me where we can find the um...”

“Hey, whatever it is you can say it, I’m not going to be scared by mere words.” You scoffed, stabbing a piece of cantaloupe. Namjoon nodded, approving Seokjin to talk freely.

“I interrogated him and we found the children he was trafficking returned them to their families,” Seokjin said “He is seriously sick in the head”

“You are sure he has told you everything?” Namjoon ate his eggs and toast watching them over his cup of coffee.

“I think so but to make sure I might cut off his remaining fingers and see what he has to say,” Seokjin nodded, “if he says no more well then I guess he is finished.”

“Hoseok what do you know?” Namjoon prompted the next man to speak.

“I know that Mr. y/l/n is accumulating stocks and seems to be on the way to paying his debt,” Hoseok said, your head snapped to him at the mention of your father and he cleared his throat with an awkward twitch of his head. “In other news, there is a young man named David from America is here to discuss a transaction on weapons”

“Anything else?” Namjoon pressed on, studying the man's reactions.

“A few minor gossip aspects from last nights party” you blinked turning to Hoseok who continued, “nothing serious but I will file it away for possible use in the future”

“I took out Mr Roth last night at the party.” Jimin threw the paper down and Namjoon picked it up. “Easily fooled as always.”

“Was there any complications?” Namjoon asked placing the paper down on the table and you walked around picking it up standing beside Namjoon as you read the information on the front page.

Mob Merrymaking

On the evening of the 13th of July, Y/N was celebrating her 21st Birthday. The night was full of dancing, gifts and esteemed guests. The night which was intended to be a beautiful celebration turned sour when a Local Gang drugged and abducted the young woman. Mr Roth a nobleman of 45 had been found in the bathroom, his death was determined as substance abuse.

Mr. L/n stated “She will be fine wherever she is, she is a smart girl and too pure to get herself hurt” He further implied “...I also have no ill will towards any gangs that would warrant my daughter being taken or our family getting hurt. She is a beautiful woman and I think he must have taken a liking to her which leaves me to believe he won’t hurt her.”

Kim Industries which deals with Construction, real estate, property investments, restaurants bars and even Casinos are implied to be the gang in question. Kim Namjoon, as the owner of Kim Industries, was happy to oblige to the police investigation allowing his home to be thoroughly searched by police for the missing young woman. The residence came up empty of any incriminating evidence.

Where did the young woman go? Who is she with? If you have any information contact the police.

You were told to wait in the house while they all went to meet this American man named David, you refused saying if they left you alone you would either run away or set the place on fire.

Namjoon grabbed you by the upper arm, “You are a young lady, start acting like one, we have treated you well and you have done nothing but act like a spoilt child.”

You had never been reprimanded so directly and harshly before, you were somewhat sheltered and sensitive to anger. You turned your head away from him as a few tears slipped.

“Sir, would you like me to stay behind with her?” Jungkook asked, watching his leader take out a pocket-handkerchief and take the young woman's chin firmly between his thumb and crooked finger tilting it up.

“She will come along, she must learn the severity of one's actions and the business we dabble in, to know the true weight of her actions,” He sighed, wiping your eyes. “Always carry a handkerchief Jungkook, women cry.”

“Of course! This way Miss,” Jungkook smiled softly, taking out his notebook to write the newest rule as he walked, “Namjoon is never late for a meeting.”

Escorted to the car as they all checked their weapons discussing their plan of attack, the trip took longer than you expected and at least an hour and a half had passed. The large juice you had at breakfast was making itself known.

“Uh, I have to pee?” You whispered to Yoongi who frowned patting your knee in consolidation.

“Namjoon doesn’t stop for anyone,” he sighed, “You will have to hold it,”

“What is it?” Namjoon commanded, not liking the whispering you were doing with his doctor.

“Y/n said she has to pee,” Yoongi said, “and I told her she will have to hold it.”

Namjoon nodded unphased “You should have gone before we left. Always pee before leaving the house.”

“I am not a child,” You hissed “I know when I need to pee and when I don’t, I wasn’t told the duration of this trip, to know whether I should go to the bathroom, and if I remember correctly I was ushered to the car before I had a chance to question it.”

“Keep your emotions out of your argument, you really are starting to sound like a child,” Namjoon said turning back to the conversation, there was nothing you could do.

The car pulled up, at a small furniture store, the men walked in lead by Namjoon and you were to stay outside with Yoongi and Seokjin.

It was supposed to be a peaceful meeting, but you really had to go to the toilet. The two men were leaning on the back of the car, Yoongi smoking slowly and Seokjin complaining that it was bad for his looks to be near smoke.

“Then fuck off,” Yoongi growled blowing large wisps of smoke purposefully at the other. The two bickered like a father of three and his bratty child.

You really needed to go, to the point that you were eyeing a couple of bushes and hedges in the area. You, a high-class lady were contemplating urinating in public, that’s how serious this was.

You looked at the two bickering again, Yoongi smirked, blowing more smoke at Seokjin who started coughing open-mouthed at Yoongi not bothering to cover his mouth.

“You're nasty!” Yoongi grumbled, you rolled your eyes and snuck into the shop, there had to be an employee bathroom.

You found a door but when you opened it you were met with men and guns, you immediately froze, all the muscles in your body tensing up.“Darling come here,” Namjoon said, gesturing you over to his side, and slipping you under his arm. “What are you doing here? I told you to wait by the car?”

“I have to pee,” you whimpered.

“Calm your expression,” he held your cheek and brought your eyes to his, “by my side, you don’t need to be scared, no one can hurt you?”

“That’s right darling we are just having a discussion, do you want to wait outside again we don’t want anything to happen to a pretty girl like you?”

You don’t know who said what but shots we fired and Namjoon pushed you across the room behind some big cabinets. When your back hit the tall boy you felt your bladder relax and you looked down warmth spreading down the inseams of your jeans.

You were shaking in fear as the shots rang around the room, some hitting the furniture near where you hid. But worse than all that you were embarrassed and shocked never in your teen and adult life had you ever wet yourself.

You stood sobbing, standing in a puddle of your own liquids. You took off your sneakers throwing them aside and you looked at your clothes.

“Namjoon, we can’t find Miss Y/n?” Seokjin shouted ducking bullets, and brandishing his own gun. The distraction allowed their enemy to escape.

“She is here you idiots, I asked you to do one job and you couldn’t even do that?” Namjoon said “Jimin, good shooting, David won’t make it home”

“That’s my job,” Jimin said proudly and you had to pluck up the courage to talk to them, but it was easier to hide climbing into a cupboard.

“Miss Y/n, are you hurt?” Yoongi asked “huh?”

“What is it?” Namjoon said

“Oh no darling, I am so sorry?” Yoongi’s voice was solemn.

“If she is dead I am killing you both,” Namjoon growled his boots hitting the cement as he stomped over.

“Stay there,” Yoongi said with authority, the footsteps stopped “Jimin take off your pants?”

“What why?” Jimin asked confused as to why the conversation shifted to him and his trousers.

“Just do it?” Yoongi growled snapping his fingers.

“None of you will step foot over here until I say so, if you do I will happily sedate you all and turn you into eunuchs, and that includes you Namjoon.”

“I am your leader?”

“And I am your elder, go wait outside, all of you?” They all stepped outside and Yoongi sighed walking to the cupboard holding Jimin’s trousers.

“Come here darling,” he said, taking your hand and guiding you to the bathroom he told you to strip everything off except your bra. you sobbed. “Don’t worry I got more enjoyment out of seeing Jimin undress than redressing you last night, if you understand what I am saying.”

You realized and wiped your eyes, he pushed you to sit on the bench and he washed your legs in the sink and asked you to wash everything else yourself.

You felt better, he apologized for not having any underwear for you and you slipped on Jimin's pants and fastened the belt. The last thing you would need is to expose everything and Yoongi gave you his undershirt.

He walked you out and Namjoon looked relieved when he saw you emerge. “Are you okay?”

“No I am horrified, I was in the middle of a shoot out and I quite literally pissed myself,” you shouted. Your eyes stung from the crying you had done, “Never in my coherent life have I disgraced myself like that.”

“I apologize,” he said, holding his shoulder you saw blood seeping through his fingers, you immediately felt bad for yelling and making it about you when he was in pain.

Jimin stood in just his boxer briefs. “I have nothing against the no-pants but can we go home?”

The only rational thing to do after the incident at the furniture store and warehouse was to seclude yourself in your room away from everyone else. Namjoon often visited and brought you your meals talking to you about things with no real substance. Mostly about his loathing of check ups, it seemed he was hiding in your room from Yoongi.

This happened for a number of days until Hoseok got bored, he wanted to gossip with you and Taehyung came along with paints in hand. His excuse was that you had promised him you two could paint together.

Forcibly removed from your one-person pity party you sat outside painting and chatting about random topics.

Hoseok wanted to know if you had any suitors and who they were, he asked what type of guy you liked and you hummed.

“Someone kind and generous who gives back to others” you gushed about your tall dark and handsome and they laughed.

That night Namjoon knocked on your door and requested you come down for dinner, you agreed much to his surprise. He stammered obviously not expecting you to consent to his plan for dinner, he nodded curtly and walked off down the hall. Tripping in his haste on a small lump in the hall carpet and catching himself on the wall.

Wearing a pretty emerald green halter dress the skirts swished as you walked and your modest heels clicked on the timber. You heard hushed talking and slowed down, being so confined the past few days you were almost starved for conversation.

“He is having dinner tonight, they will all be in the dining hall which will leave his office free, once I get the information I will get out of here before they find out.” The man had a weird moustache and a mole above his eyebrow.

You tiptoed past holding your skirts from ruffling and keeping your heels from clicking you headed downstairs.

Pushing open the doors a multitude of guns were pointed at you, “Miss Y/n I was told you were from a moderately high-class family you should know how to knock.”

You raced over to Namjoon and cupped your hand around your mouth leaning down. “I heard someone talking about breaking into your office, to steal information”

“Jimin” Namjoon beckoned him over, he whispered to Jimin who nodded and went out the back door.

“Where is he going?” You asked and Namjoon stood up and walked you to the other end of the table and you frowned, “I don’t like this?”

“Sit relax, it is time for us to enjoy dinner.”

You sat for the briefest of moments watching Namjoon cross the room and sit at the opposite end of the table before taking your chair and dragging it across the floor slowly.

You saw his eyebrow twitch as you did so and stopped beside him. “I would prefer not to shout across the table,” you smiled softly

“You are both a blessing and a curse,” Namjoon said, “dinner is now a minute late”

Dinner was unlike anything you had ever had before, you smiled and ate happily, “this is delicious”

“You should try the steak?” Namjoon smiled, you nodded, cutting some of your chicken and stabbed it with a fork.

“Alright, I will try some of your steak if you try some of this chicken?” You held it out to him and his eyes were wide “it’s a fair trade”

He leaned forward and ate the small piece off your fork and he cut you a piece of steak and held it out to you.

You leaned forward and took a bite chewing slowly, your eyes going wide. “That is delicious”

Namjoon leaned over wiping your chin with a napkin his thumb, your eyes were locked in a fierce gaze and he gave you a dimpled smile.

“Jin, try some of my chicken?” Taehyung asked, holding out his fork.

“No, thank you?” Seokjin said, continuing to eat his steak ignoring the pouting young man.

“But they shared?” He whined. This made you aware of how intimate your action was, your cheeks flushing dark at your forwardness.

After dinner you were being escorted back to your room. Namjoon was quiet the whole time, not for lack of trying. The amount of times you saw him open and close his mouth, as if he was trying to strike up something to say.

Standing at your door he paused looking at you searching for something, you laughed opening the door, “Would you like to come in for a drink?”

He seemed grateful for the excuse to stay in your company, after a drink of two you started talking about your most embarrassing stories. He was actually super clumsy for someone in the mafia and a complete goofball.

“And that was my first kiss, I haven’t really had many kisses after that and the few I can remember were just as bad” Your laughter was cut off by Namjoon who had leaned over on the small couch and pressed his lips to yours. Just as you felt your heart flutter he pulled away.

“It is getting late you should sleep” He stood up and placed down the glass, you walked him to the door and he froze. “Was that okay? I hope I didn’t overstep any boundaries, did I?”

“No it was nice really nice, you can do that-” He pressed his lips to yours once more and smiled whispering good night before walking off down the hall. With a sigh you added “Anytime you like.”

You didn’t hear anything strange from anyone or see anyone but you hoped everything worked out and the man who wanted to steal information ran away.

You were trying to find Namjoon the next day and travelled downstairs looking in random doors.

You reached the end of the hallway and found a door you heard screaming and knocked hesitantly on the wood, Yoongi stepped out covered in blood and gun in hand.

“Oh, y/n now isn’t a good time?” Yoongi said, stepping out and shutting the door. “What are you doing down here?”

“I was looking for Namjoon, is everything okay? What are you doing?” You asked, concerned by the amount of blood on Yoongi’s clothes.

“We are okay, Seokjin and I are just interrogating the mole, hey good spotting by the way no one knew they had snuck in,” your stomach dropped, this blood was from that man and it was all because of you.

“Namjoon is in his office on the third floor from the ground west wing double doors on the left-right at the end of the corridor.”

You nodded, froze in place and Yoongi sighed “I have to go back in,” he went to pat your shoulder but saw his stained gloves and sighed ripping them off.

He turned punching in numbers into the code lock. 7276. He slipped inside and you heard screaming, which was silenced immediately as the door sealed shut, you quickly ran feeling sick.

Racing up the stairs and bumping into Jungkook and almost falling, thankfully he caught you, “hey hey, slow down what’s wrong?”

You were wide-eyed and scared and he frowned. “Did you go downstairs?”

You nodded and he led you down the hall, “you are scared and helpless, but the way to feel better is to get stronger. You won’t feel as scared if you're not so helpless.” Jungkook opened the doors to the gym.

“Let me teach you how to fight,” Jungkook began teaching the basics and at another point, Jimin entered the two gave you pointers, their fighting styles. Jungkook was all power and strength and Jimin’s was survival.

“Look all you got to know is how to break free so you can run away,” Jimin instructed. “Even someone like Yoongi can break out of Jungkook's grasp.”

“That was one time and he refused to give me a rematch,” Jungkook wined.

You were learning so much, and it was in a sense a little empowering. The two guys were good at what they did and the more you learnt the more you wanted to learn.

Learning to fight gave you something to take your mind off what you had seen at least for the first two weeks but when you heard them relay information at breakfast you felt sick once more.

“He refuses to speak,” Seokjin said

“He will eventually,” Namjoon didn’t bat an eyelash. Two weeks of torture because you outed him.

This was all your fault. He was suffering because of you. You left the dining hall unable to stomach the thought of food.

Heading down the stairs you opened the door with the code 7276, you almost vomited, he sat there unrestrained and unconscious. His fingernails were removed and his face broken beyond repair.

“Hello, sir are you alive?” You asked, he groaned struggling to move his head, coughing up some blood at the effort it took to move.

“Who are you?”

“I am no one sir,” you breathed, “I can help you.”

He lunged hands gripping your throat and you fell back under the weight of him, you were struggling against him in panic. “Die you bitch, I know who you are, you're that monster's whore. He has never tried to protect anyone in his life and yet his soft spot is you. They are coming to kill you all.”

You struggled less hearing Jimin’s words in your head, “don’t panic” his voice would smooth as he held you in this position. “You want to panic but relax and fight back”

You did what he said, “your legs are your strongest so kick them in the chest” Jungkook would coach from the side, following their instructions you kicked the man off and ducked out the door pulling it closed.

You were gasping and you ran up the stairs and into the dining hall gasping. Namjoon flew to his seat and scooped you up, sitting you on the side of the table.

“Yoongi.” He commanded, he gently brushed his fingers over your neck, he looked upset, angry and sad all at once. The emotions were so strong it shocked you. Grabbing his gun, you pressed it into Namjoon's hands.

“Kill him,” You wheezed, “slowly.”

“You went back down there didn’t you?” Jungkook sighed and before Yoongi could stop him Namjoon cocked the gun and stormed off. Seokjin followed after him and they all watched you trying to help.

“Your throat will sting for a few days try not to talk it will help it heal,” Yoongi sighed

“You just don’t want to hear me talk,” you joked, wincing at the pain. “Got it, no talking.”

Namjoon threw the man into the dining hall and dragged him by his hair across the floor, “the lady has requested you die and slowly.”

Namjoon shot him six times in both legs, one in each foot, calf and thigh, the blood was pooling everywhere. You felt queasy, you wanted this but you weren’t sure you could stomach it.

“If you can make it back to your people with these wounds I will let you go?” Namjoon put his gun away and the man tried to crawl away, losing strength as he streaked blood across the ground.

The man was making horrible noises and you didn’t like it, covering your ears and Yoongi warned Namjoon who shot the mole in the back of the head as he reached for the door handle.

Again the only thing you deemed appropriate after witnessing that sort of horrific event was to seclude yourself in your room. Yoongi visited bringing you soups to soothe your sore throat and his persistence and gentle nature was the only thing that got you to drink some of it.

You laid there alone when it started to rain. You loved the rain, but what surprised you was your new fear of the thunder rumbling in the distance sinister as if it was coming after you.

You had never been afraid of storms you used to stand out on the patio undercover with your father and watch the lights flash and feel the electricity in the air. But now each flash had shadows in your window and was accompanied by gunshots that shook the ground.

You were a whimpering mess and you wanted to get out, you ran from your room and raced down the stairs and out the front door. You were in the rain running down the long estate driveway and you expected to be followed by Namjoons henchmen and dragged back and punished for what you didn’t expect was for Namjoon to be running after you.

He grabbed you and pulled you to his chest hugging you gently and he started to sing in your ear, his voice was low and soothing. You found yourself easing into his chest and your erratic sobbing calmed some.

Forever Rain, Forever Rain, Forever Rain, Forever Rain, Forever Rain,

He repeated this phrase slowly singing into your ear holding you desperately and before you knew it, you passed out in his arms.

Namjoon was sweet, you woke up beside him, you were dressed in a button-up and nothing more and he was in his trousers that looked damp, he was sleeping above the blankets holding your hand as if he hadn’t intended to fall asleep beside you but to watch over you.

You brushed his hair off of his face and covered him with a blanket before heading to his closet, taking out some sweatpants and a plain white shirt. He stirred awake when you emerged from the walk-in closet.

“Good morning,” You said softly

“You haven’t obtained any of my weapons while I was sleeping have you?” He asked, making you laugh behind your hand.

“No, someone hasn’t taught me how to use a gun properly, something about a magazine?” you said, trying to play coy. Namjoon laughed getting out of bed and taking your hand, dragging you into the closet and he began explaining all about guns and you listened he had all these amazing facts from when they were made to how they were made and how they fired and how far.

He demonstrated how to put ammunition into the magazine and the magazine into the gun. He taught you how to take the safety on and off and how to hold the gun being new so as not to accidentally shoot anyone.

He led you to the balcony and smiled telling you to hold the gun and he corrected your stance and hold and he told you to aim at a tree and you did.

“Now shoot?” He smiled encouragingly. You turned to him shocked, starting to protest that you weren’t ready.

“You are just scared I promise nothing will happen?” He smiled talking you through it all again.

He didn’t rush you and he didn’t laugh, he spoke the whole time about what you would like for breakfast. You fired a shot and bumped into Namjoon, he chuckled, “that was a good start. Did you close your eyes? Try again.”

It took a few goes and the boys busting in the room before you were comfortable with the weapon. Each had pointers and you felt empowered once more.

“I can make you a pretty handgun,” Taehyung smiled and the group went to breakfast.

“We have a meeting today, so dress pretty, it’s a good meeting, nothing scary, I think you will like it.” Namjoon smiled, making you nod and run off to get dressed.

“Something Christmassy!” Taehyung shouted.

This wasn’t what you expected when you heard mafia, usually you would think things like guns and drugs and women and violence and sure some of those things were true.

But giving Christmas presents to an orphanage full of children wasn’t what you had in mind. You took a present and handed it out, “are you mister Kim’s wife now?”

You giggled at the children’s naive question and began thinking about what it would be like if you really were Namjoon’s wife.

“Well, he hasn’t asked me so, no,” you laughed with the children some of the teens heard and began teasing Namjoon.

“Why haven’t you asked her yet she is so pretty?” They said, “I would ask her.”

“Namjoon is shy, underneath the suit he is just a boy with dimples” Jimin teased earning a wad of wrapping paper at his head from the man in question. You had stepped outside into the snow watching it fall around you, Namjoon was eyeing you through the small glass window.

Excusing himself Namjoon left the children and headed out into the snowy garden, he shrugged off his jacket as he approached and slipped it over your shoulders. Clearing his throat “you shouldn’t be out here, you might catch a cold”

“Not with you here” You elbowed him playfully, he chuckled allowing you to lean against him, he didn’t tell you he was cold but dutifully stood there and kept you company.

“Thank you so much,” The woman said, as you all stepped out the front door, the boys all headed to the car and you were left beside Namjoon who had left his arm around your waist leading you to the car. “For the presents and the donation, the children and I truly appreciate it.”

“Y/n?” Namjoon said as you walked into the dining room to find it empty, the food was set and there were candles. “I wanted to speak with you privately.”

“Okay, what did you want to talk about?” You asked curiously, what was so important that his men whom he confided everything in were not present.

“Since I met you, I have broken so many of my rules, I have been late, I have forgotten what I have wanted to say, I have spoken without purpose, I have even broken the rule to keep speeches short and sweet.” He laughed rubbing the back of the neck. “I have enjoyed your company greatly and you have made me a better man because of it. Ever since I met you, I was enraptured by your brains and beauty. You are fiery and sassy and kind and real.”

“Thank you, I haven’t done that much though.” You weren’t being modest, you hadn’t done anything special to warrant his compliments.

“I wanted to ask if you would do me the greatest honour of marrying me?” He said, “I will keep you safe, you will never go hungry or cold, I will cherish you with every fibre of my being.”

“Yes,” You said in shock, you liked him of course, you had for a while now but the fact that he could get anyone and he chose you. That was what shocked you, you weren’t on the same status level. He was very high class and you were scrapping the lower end of high class.

The celebration was to be held at the grand hotel, the hall was booked and looking spectacular you were announcing your engagement. It was a real lavish affair and you were in the most expensive gown you had ever seen, feeling like a million dollars and wearing a million and a half.

It was all real, the shoes, jewelry, hotel, engagement and you couldn’t believe it. “Is this a dream?” the stylist shook her head.

You were trying to wonder where it had all come together; it was little gestures and actions. When the two of you met and he was charming and poise when dancing with you. The more you got to know him he was meticulous and sassy and strict, he didn’t miss a chance to correct and reprimand you.

Somewhere along your journey he started to enjoy your company, he became more clumsy, and open to new ideas. He took a chance and started approaching you with his feelings and what blossomed between you was love.

“My lady, if you are ready follow us to take some photos with your fiance on the rooftop.” You were shaken out of your daydream and guided to the elevator headed for the rooftop, the two men were talking into headsets, “Everything is secure” The man said straight-faced, and the other man helped you hold the small train of your dress.

When you stepped out the men guided you across the rooftop and told you to sit in the chair while the cameraman finished setting up. You sat drinking, you only got a short way through it before you fell asleep.

Waking it was dark, you were strapped to the chair and there was something heavy and bulky on your chest. Eyes adjusting to see the glowing numbers on your chest. You started to cry, something was wrong and almost an hour went by before, you heard someone shouting your name.

“Y/N!” it was Jimin.

“Jimin!” You shouted and he raced over to the door but you heard the clanking of chains. You were locked in.

“Wait here, I will get the others and something to get you out.” He was gone before you could tell him.

You heard more voices and Namjoon came over, you had ten minutes written on the digital clock on your chest, the numbers flickering down consistently. “Y/N?” Namjoon said, “Don’t worry, we will get you out?”

“Namjoon,” You cried from the seat, sobs breaking through your words, “There is a bomb.”

“Where is the bomb?” Namjoon said

“It’s here,” Hot tears falling from your eyes stinging, “It’s on me, there is only nine minutes left.”

He swore, “Break this door down now, find another way in?”

They all began struggling and trying their best, but you knew it was useless. Namjoon, go, take everyone and go, there isn’t enough time?”

“No!” Namjoon growled smashing his fists on the door and throwing his shoulder into it, “I will get you out of it.”

“Namjoon, send the boys away don’t get them hurt because of me?” You whispered, “Go!”

“Leave us,” Namjoon said, his voice defeated.

“We won’t leave without you both?” Jungkook said, the timer said three minutes and you wanted to scream at them to go but the sobs took everything out of you.

“A man will follow orders to the letter Jungkook.” Namjoon said, sending the younger man away, “Get out of here.”

“Yeah rule number twenty-two, but what about number thirty-three take a challenge or thirty-nine finish what you start.”

“Jungkook, leave now before I shoot you, your orders are to get everyone out of the building, we will be down soon.”

Jungkook hesitated before running off. You called out to Namjoon begging him to leave but he refused continuing to try to break down the door blinking away the blur in your eyes from the tears you saw the time had only a minute left.

“Namjoon, there is only a minute left, please leave.” You pleaded and you could hear him on the other side of the door.

“I am not leaving you,” He sniffed, voice watery and shaking with the sounds of his sobs. He broke the number one rule.

[Part 2]

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lenacker · 3 years

Text

To Raise an Eaglet

Kuchel and Levi’s life in my Meet The Ackermans Modern! Rivetra AU

This is my longest work yet, Word count : 2654 words

"So you're not coming here for Christmas?" Kuchel holds her phone to her ear with her shoulder, while cutting the vegetables on the cutting board. She was preparing some special stew from her beloved son’s cute, little family.

"No, I’m working on a very important case, Mom. I.."

"Wait, wait," Kuchel wiped her hands to her apron, re-do her ponytail, and now holding her phone with her hand, meanwhile the other was on her hips. "don't say you're not even coming home to Petra for Christmas Eve? For fuck's sake Lev, that's intolerable! That’s your very own birthday! Don't put your work before your family! If they're gone then who are you working for?! What's the use of money when you have no one to spend it with? Seriously, I don't remember raising a man that's ........"

Levi took a deep breath, putting his phone on the desk while his mom kept rambling here and there. He loves her so much, but she always talks too much for her own good. Sometimes he even wondered how they share the same genes with the difference between their amount of words they can say in one breath.

When he put the phone back to his ear, he didn't hear the nag of his mother. Instead, the woman he heard since he remembered sounds like she's on the verge of tears.

"..... but I guess it can't be helped, huh? It's okay then, it doesn't like I've prepared anything, anyway. Say hi to Petra and the boys for me."

Kuchel sighed, pushing herself with her hands against the countertop, and looked to the ceiling to prevent her tears from falling. Why is she crying, anyway? It's not going to be her first alone Christmas! She spent plenty of them alone, trembling from the cold (and starvation if there are not enough customers in the brothel).

Until one Christmas when she’s 20, she got a great gift she never even dared to imagine, a beautiful, little bundle of joy she named Levi. He came with such unbearable pain, blood, and tears but the moment she heard him scream and laid her eyes on him, no, even from the first time she felt her baby's move, she knows she wouldn't be alone anymore.

I'm gonna protect you, she whispered while cradling Levi's tiny head against her chest, tears streaming from her tired eyes, We’ll live a better life together.

Life felt less ugly for a while. She had to hide her baby whenever a customer came, but it gets less lonely with a cute baby looking at you with such wonderful blue eyes. She hopes he doesn't grow up so he won't understand what kind of world they live in.

But of course, he grows. And in the process, Kuchel saw how unfit the environment they're in for a child's development. She saw how Levi started to laugh less, his skin pale and almost translucent. He stopped saying 'I love you' back when he's around four, instead, he would just hug her silently. He stopped moving when he had to hide from her customers in the tiny cupboard, not moving an inch. Not making any sound. It made her worried sick, she couldn't see if he's ok from the bed. Can he breathe properly? Is it normal for a 4 years old boy to stay still for hours?

At the age of six, he looks like a very malnourished four years old vampire-boy. His voice became raspy, his eyes darken, his cheeks sunken. In their city, it's difficult enough to find decent food when you have money, it's even harder when you don't. Sometimes he would give her some crumpled money he somehow finds, tells her to keep it to buy a new house so no scary men come to hurt mommy. That's also the year when she realized she has the disease that has been spreading around. Of fucking course. The disease takes over her entirely. In just a month, she can't even get up from her bed, her body feels like it's on fire.

And the worst thing, she can't work nor provide food for little Levi. But he never asks for it either. He stayed with her on the bed, caressing her face with his bony hand. Around midday, he would get up, go for an hour or so, and come back with some half-decent food and bruises. Her heart ached every time he put the food inside her mouth, whispering 'please get better, mommy' with his raspy voice.

She hoped she could ask him where he got the food and the bruises, tell him there's no way she could get better without any treatment, or simply say thank you because she's the one who was supposed to find food, but she couldn't force any sound out of her throat. Sometimes she sheds some tears, which Levi always reacts with a sad 'sorry mommy, I can't find better food'. It hurts even more. Sometimes she wondered if keeping him and bringing him to this cruel world is a mistake. Or if she's being selfish to want a friend in her lonely life.

Then she decided to give up. She kept her eyes shut, feeling how her body struggled to keep her alive. She let the darkness consume her.

But she didn't die. She didn't know how much time was passed but when she started to gain consciousness she heard the beeping sound beside her.

Where am I? Her body does not hurt as much. She opened her eyes and was welcomed with Levi's beautiful blue-grey eyes right in front of her own.

"Levi?"

Wait, did she just talk? Did she really make a clear, understandable word? Well, that’s the first.

She observed her baby's face and noticed how he looks .....more like a normal child. She raised her hand to touch his surprisingly slight chubby cheeks, but he's faster. He moved down to hug -more like crushes, actually- her. He buried his face to her cheeks, mumbling long incoherent words to her cheeks. She felt how her cheeks moisten by his warm tears, how his body trembled, and wondered how she even thought of leaving this precious boy.

"There's Kenny," Levi said once he calmed down, "he brought Mommy here and taught me to fight" then he proudly showed her some of the moves she recognized as Kenny's with a paring knife.

Kenny was a weird one, he always was. He's her only brother, but he never acted like one nor was there for her. He went to jail for killing some folks when she’s about ten. The last time she saw him was when she's pregnant, and he told him to abort her pregnancy. Of course, she refused, so he left without saying anything.

"What did you do with Kenny, baby?" Did he teach you anything bad? killing people? He's a little bit psycho. Much to her relief, they just have some knife and martial arts training, then eat whatever food Levi wanted. Well at least her brother gave him food and brought her to the hospital. At least he keeps Levi alive even though he never approves of his presence.

A few weeks later, she's allowed to leave the hospital. She has been unconscious for three months, apparently. Kenny came, he took care of the administration and payment, drove them to a simple-clean apartment, left some money then left without any unnecessary words. They have never been a normal sibling with a heartfelt relationship but still, Kuchel hoped he would say something, where does he live now, why did he come, does he have any wife and kids, anything.

And so, their brand new life began. In the morning Kuchel would bake some simple cookies, walk Levi to school while giving her cookies to shops along the street then she went to a supermarket near their home, where she worked as a part-time cashier. Then when her shift has finished, she picks her son home and takes her money from the shops.

Years passed, their life gets better every day. Levi had poor social skills, but he managed to befriend two nice, orphan kids; Farlan and Isabel. Like everything he loves (Kuchel herself, a hand knife he got from Kenny, multi-functional stain remover, etc.) he was a bit overprotective. She had to meet the headmaster more than three times during Levi's first two months because her son 'created a commotion' when the only thing he did was protect his friends' dignity with his fists. She didn't think it's bad. Kuchel always knows Levi is such a kind and sweet boy, he just prefers to show his crude side (from Kenny or their previous place, she's not sure). So instead of telling him to stop fighting bullies, she told him words can hurt more than any blow. And it turned out surprisingly well, he never 'created trouble' again. (Saying hurting words is not considered trouble, how weird).

In the blink of an eye, Levi became a handsome man wearing an immaculate suit, kissing Kuchel's cheek before leaving to go to his office for the umpteenth time.

"Don't forget to find me a daughter-in-law," she said teasingly, handing him lunch. Her son pretended to look disgusted, then smiled softly "I don't think I can find someone as pretty and amazing as you, Mom. See you!"

Ever since he turned 30, she kept reminding him that 29 is the average marriage age for a male and he would answer with the answer he just gave her this morning, or "Nobody would want to marry a grumpy, constipated looking man, Mom" or, "I will once I find the right one".

Kuchel knew her son was admired by many (he always bring home at least two bags of chocolates on Valentine's Day), he's good-looking (not that tall due to the malnutrition in his early years, but still, even the old lady next-door had mentioned that he's hot). His salary as a detective at the Criminal Investigation Department is high enough to afford both of them that he forced her to quit working and enjoy life. But she's as stubborn as he is, so she sneakily still bakes some cookies and sells them to a bakery far enough from his office.

About two hours later, right as her oven timer rings, the front door of their apartment opened, revealing a furious Levi. He only wears his shirt and trousers, the suit he initially wears this morning in his hands. Thankfully he didn't notice the freshly baked cookies because he’s too busy muttering curses angrily, something about an airheaded, bitchy woman.

Woman? Well, that’s interesting. Kuchel couldn’t recall when’s the last time her son mentioned anything about women (never). Aside from Isabel and Hange 'shitty-four eyes’, that is. She raised one of her eyebrows, wondering if this could be the beginning of the hater-into-lover relationship she often watches at Korean dramas.

“Oh, you’re home early. Something happened?” she asked as neutral as possible despite her giddiness, leaning against the doorframe of Levi’s bedroom. He was buttoning his white shirt, annoyance still clear on his face. However, he forced a grin.

“Nothing, Mom. Just a friend of Hange’s. She smeared some cake cream on my suit. Don’t know what she’s thinking.” Kuchel nodded understandingly, what a daring girl to do that.

“Is she pretty?” She asked once more, already imagining a scheme upon how they would fall madly in love.

Her son looks surprised, or somehow like someone who just remembers he forgot something important. He took his tie and walked to her, letting his mother tie it around his collar. (She secretly appreciates how he let her do it, despite knowing how to do it himself. It makes her feel needed) While she ties the red garment, Levi looks intensely to her eyes and mumbles, “ShehasbigeyeswiththesamecolorasyousoIguess.…”

Throughout the years, Kuchel noticed that despite being sweet and kind (to her, at least), her son has difficulties showing feelings he deemed ‘bad’ or maybe ‘weird’. He usually mumbles lengthy sentences that she learned to interpret. Like that time when one of her customers hurt her, 4 years old Levi tried to wash the blood and mumbles how he wanna be stronger and hurt the man back, and how he loves his mother. Or when she woke up in the hospital. Or when everybody in his class praises him for shaving his head when one of his classmates had cancer. Or every time he presented her with a bunch of flowers on Mother's Day. That habit is still there, evidently.

She simply smiled, deciding to not tease him any further. She patted his chest, telling him to go back to his office, and let the topic go.

But apparently, the Hange’s airheaded friend story doesn’t stop there.

About a month later, Levi went to watch a musical titled Hamilton with Hange. He always likes musical shows, mainly for the elaborate choreography. She didn’t expect her son to get home so late, and grumpier than ever. She asked him why, but he dismissed her. She didn’t need to wonder for long, because Hange called her (it’s not even a rare occurrence, they’re so close that they often call her randomly in the middle of the night).

"I tried to set him with my roommate," they said, "Petra is a very sweet girl, not to mention that she's clean and pretty short. She's pretty much perfect for him. I tried to push them into the stuck-in-the-elevator scenario, but I guess Levi ended up saying the wrong thing that Petra smeared her cake -that I ordered- to him. Of course, I didn’t just give up. So, I ordered two Hamilton tickets -it was soo expensive and hard to find!- anyway, I gave one to Levi and another to Petra, and pretend that I'm the one who'll go with them" They talked in a very Hange way, fast and passionate. They sounded really proud of their plan. “Do you want to meet her too? I bet you two will connect instantly, Imma send you her bakery’s location, how’s that?”

So, the next day Kuchel visited Petra’s bakery and immediately fell in love. She’s like….a sun personified. Like, even her entire appearance was so bright and fun. Her hair was shoulder-length wavy hair, the root was strawberry blonde and it got lighter that the tip was light blonde. Her eyes are big, round, sparkling light brown eyes, and freckles peppered her cute face. She wore an ankle-length light yellow sundress with small blue flower patterns that complement her pale skin perfectly. She talked with a lot of hand motions, and she slips her hair behind her right ears every once in a while.

Yes, this one’s definitely perfect for her Levi.

December 22, 5 days after that (surprisingly) emotional phone call. Kuchel woke up to the loud sound of her doorbell. Seriously, the shameless guest was ringing the bell like some kind of madman in the middle of the night. Wait, what if that's a real madman?

Ah, screw that, she thought sleepily, whoever that is they definitely need to be taught some lesson. She got off her bed, picked a frying pan from the kitchen, and then opened her door.

It's not a shameless nor mad man.

In front of her door, Leo was sitting on Levi's shoulders while still ringing the bell vigorously with a big grin. Beside him, Petra was fixing her hold to Liam, while the ginger-haired toddler calmly eats his lollipop.

"Gran-Gran!" Leo greeted (gosh, that boy has too much energy for his own good), while his little brother just waved his hand that wasn't holding the lolly.

Kuchel put down her frying pan, "Hey, guys! Come in!"

She moved to the side, letting the little family inside. Leo immediately ran off to his favorite playing spot, the cabinet under the stairs. His brother tottered sleepily behind him.

“So…...what happened to the case?”, she asked with as much sarcasm as possible, while locking the front door again, “Finally realizing your family’s more important than some ruthless murderer?”

A/N : I love Hamilton.

#rivetra #petra ral #levi ackerman #kuchel ackerman #my OC ackerman babies #Meet The Ackermans AU #rivetra fic #more like backstory actually #this literally took years #this one was abandoned for like 2 years?#anyway I love mamachel #hange zoe #the ultimate rivetra shipper

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phis-corner · 4 years

Text

tightrope (songfic)

Some people long for a life that is simple and planned

Tied with a ribbon

Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land

To follow what's written

“Marinette, this is Dick, our son. He’s also training on trapeze, and since he’s your age, we decided to instruct you together.” Mary tells her.

Four-year-old Marinette Dupain-Cheng beams and holds out her hand. “Hello! I’m Marinette. It’s nice to meet you!”

The boy, who has dark hair and the bluest eyes she’s ever seen, takes it and smiles brightly. “I’m Dick. It’s nice to meet you too.”

That was the beginning of a long journey. Mary and John, Dick’s parents, otherwise known as the Flying Graysons, instructed them in the art of trapeze for two years before they performed in their first show at age six. Robin and Swallow soared through the air, twisting and flipping as they propelled their bodies with the bars. They received the loudest applause, second only to the Flying Graysons themselves.

But I'd follow you to the great unknown

Off to a world we call our own

Marinette and Dick spent their days flying off the bars, throwing and catching each other and playful competition. Swallow and Robin, Haly’s youngest performers, continued to greet the crowd with joyful smiles wherever they went.

Dick was her best friend. They did nearly everything together, whether it be snacking on funnel cake or seeing who could do more backflips in a row. All the performers and staff at Haly’s knew they were inseparable.

Or so they thought, anyway. All good things must come to a close.

Hand in my hand

And we promised to never let go

We're walking a tightrope

High in the sky

We can see the whole world down below

We're walking a tightrope

One day, when they were eight, her parents, who ran the catering service, received the news. Her grandfather, who owned a bakery in Paris, had died and left it to Tom. They were going to move to France to manage the bakery.

She was going to leave the circus. Marinette was going to leave the feeling of weightless flight, the joy of tumbling through the air, behind.

Marinette was going to leave Dick behind.

She didn’t want to leave. But there was nothing she could do. The bakery needed someone to take over, and that someone was her parents. At least she was fluent in French, as well as Romani.

On their last day, she and Dick clutched each other like the world was ending, which, in a way, it was. Haly’s was a travelling circus, which meant that they didn’t use phones and letters were almost impossible to send.

“Don’t forget me.” Marinette whispered, blinking away her tears. “If you’re ever in Paris, expect me to be there.”

“I will. Don’t you dare forget me either.” Dick replied, trying hard to keep his own tears at bay.

“Marinette, sweetie, it’s time to go.” Sabine said gently. Reluctantly, the two children pulled apart and said their last words to each other for another eight years.

Only when they landed in France did Marinette allow herself to cry, to mourn the loss of her first partner.

Never sure, never know how far we could fall

But it's all an adventure

That comes with a breathtaking view

Walking a tightrope with you

With you

Paris was… different. After spending her entire life travelling the world, Marinette was finally rooted down in one place. And she was lonely.

Sure, she had friends, but Marinette found herself searching the people around her for a playful smile, kind blue eyes, and gleaming dark hair. She missed her best friend, missed doing flips and twists on the trapeze with him.

Her parents signed her up for gymnastics. It wasn’t the same.

At night, she would stare at the night sky from her balcony, and imagine that, wherever Dick was in the world, he was doing the same.

There was a gaping hole in Dick’s life, wherever he went. She had taken up so much of it, and now that Marinette was in France, he noticed her absence at every turn.

The first time he performed as a Flying Grayson instead of Robin, without Sparrow at his side, tears threatened to spill over his smile. It got more bearable over time, but only just. Every time he took to the skies on the trapeze, even when he saw a little girl eating funnel cake. Everything reminded him of dark blue hair and gleaming bluebell eyes, tiny freckles and a smile like the sun itself.

He found himself looking at the night sky more often than not, identifying the constellations and thinking of her.

A year later, he stood over his parents’ limp bodies and a growing pool of blood, and wished that she were there to comfort him like she always was, and not living in a bakery in Paris.

Dick donned a mask and cape and his family’s colors and became Robin again, but this time as a sidekick to Batman, helping him take down criminals and bring them to justice. He soared through the skies at night with his grappling hook, even doing a quadruple somersault off Wayne Enterprises, but it just wasn’t the same as before.

Marinette became Ladybug at thirteen.

She was suddenly thrust into a world of heroes and villains, a world of magical jewelry and evil butterflies and mini gods that granted you powers. She spent her days at school or fighting akumas, her nights on patrol incorporating extra flips in between every swing, remembering a time where another boy, with black hair instead of blonde, and blue eyes instead of green, soared alongside her.

Marinette gave Adrien his umbrella back the next day. Alya thought she had a crush on the blonde, but she couldn’t bring herself to forget Dick. If she tried to see Adrien romantically, she would just see another boy over him.

A boy she hadn’t seen in five years.

Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between

Desert and ocean

You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream

Always in motion

Robin formed the Young Justice along with Aqualad, Kid Flash, Superboy, and Miss Martian when he was nearly thirteen. Half a year later, the League sends them to Paris to investigate a potential threat.

They prepared for a lot of things, but seeing a huge baby with terrible color coordination knock over the Eiffel Tower was not one of them. A girl dressed in red with black polka dots that fought with a yoyo and a boy clad in black leather with cat ears on his head were not accounted for either.

Robin noticed the way the female heroine almost flies through the air, like she’s been doing it her entire life.

Ladybug and Chat Noir were grateful for the added help during akuma attacks. Hawkmoth was caught and revealed to be Gabriel Agreste within another three months. Chat, who turned out to be his son Adrien, gave up his miraculous after that. He just wanted to live a normal life.

Robin and his teammates offered Ladybug a spot on their team, and the League approved of their choice. Ladybug accepted, and moved into Mount Justice not long after.

Ladybug was surprised the first time the Young Justice showed up to an attack, but she easily worked them into her plan and captured the akuma. They offered their resources and skills to fight the akumas faster and track down Hawkmoth. Gabriel Agreste was arrested not long after, and Adrien no longer wanted to be a hero after that, which was understandable.

Master Fu transferred Guardianship to her following Hawkmoth’s defeat and Young Justice, backed by the Justice League, offered her a spot on their team. Ladybug agreed, as she was now the Guardian and not escaping the hero's life anytime soon, nor was she willing to leave it.

Marinette told her parents about Ladybug, and gained their approval to move into Mount Justice. To her classmates in Paris, she told them she was going to America to study.

Ladybug rotated through various miraculouses throughout the day to keep her identity hidden, for the time being. She still wasn’t comfortable with so many people knowing, even after telling her parents. Luckily, Robin was the same. From what she gathered, only Kid Flash knew his identity.

She tried hard to ignore the pang in her heart every time she saw the dark-haired, cheerful boy, dressed in the Flying Graysons’ colors with her partner’s name. Because there was no way that this Robin was Dick.

Dick, as far as she knew, was still in Haly’s with his parents. Not dividing his time between Gotham City and Mount Justice. Not being a partner to the rest of the Young Justice team and the sidekick to the Dark Knight, whom he called his father.

So I risk it all just to be with you

And I risk it all for this life we choose

Ladybug proved herself useful to the team, calling up her Lucky Charm in the stickiest solutions and always finding a way out. She was clever and quick to think on her feet in battle, choosing to outwit her opponents instead of beating them through brute force. When it was needed, she would merge with another miraculous or use a completely different form, whatever was necessary for them to win. The Tiger miraculous proved extremely useful for covert op missions.

She also constantly baked treats for everyone. Ladybug taught M’gann how to actually bake a good cake, and would give them pastries when they looked like they needed to be cheered up.

They also discovered that being the Guardian came with new powers. Robin received a fairly deep cut on his right arm from a mission, but Ladybug stopped him from stitching it up, instead muttering an incantation in an unrecognizable language. Her fingers glowed white, and she traced them over the wound, closing it instantly, not even leaving a scar behind.

When Marinette wasn’t baking for her teammates or designing, she found herself heading to the training room. The room had a wide variety of resources, including trapeze equipment. She walks into the room in her Multimouse transformation, as to give Tikki a break, and freezes in place.

Robin is swinging on the trapeze, sailing through the air with a carefree smile on his face and doing a quadruple somersault- the Flying Graysons’ signature move- like it was second nature. He moves with an elegance that she has only ever seen in one other person, and all of a sudden, the name, the colors, the familiar energy, everything makes sense.

Multimouse warms up as fast as she can, and climbs up the rungs to the platform opposite him with a grin. She recognizes the routine, the one they used to do back in the day as Robin and Sparrow at Haly’s. Without missing a beat, she launches herself onto the bar, seamlessly picking up where he was and weaving herself in.

When the time comes for her to let go and for him to catch her, she gives him a trusting smile and releases her hold, soaring, flying forward, right into his hands, which clasp around her wrists in an achingly familiar way. I’ve found you at last.

Robin- Dick- grins at her, and Multimouse smiles back, as wide as she can, because she’s finally found him again, after so many years apart.

Hand in my hand

And you promised to never let go

We're walking a tightrope

High in the sky

We can see the whole world down below

We're walking a tightrope

When Robin has a bit of free time at Mount Justice, he finds himself climbing the rungs to the trapeze platform and immersing himself in the old routine he used to do with her. The lively dance they used to do in the air is still cheerful, but without a partner, it’s more melancholy than he’d like to admit.

He notices Multimouse walk in and freeze when she sees him. This was the first time she’d seen him on trapeze, so Robin assumes it’s just the shock. He lets go of the bar and easily turns a quadruple somersault with an exhilarated smile on his face before grabbing the bar again.

Multimouse climbs up to the opposite platform with a smile, and easily falls into the routine alongside him. She does Sparrow’s flips and twists with the grace of a person born to fly and an overjoyed smile on her face.

For a while, Robin swings through the air with his first friend and first partner. When the time comes, Multimouse- Marinette- easily lets go of her bar and soars towards him, a trusting smile on her face, and he grins brilliantly back, hands clasping her wrists tight. I’ve found you at last. The message resonates between them, and he launches her back into the air towards her own bar, laughing as she flips twice before grabbing it.

They are so immersed in their aerial dance, so immersed in each other, that they don’t see the rest of the team enter to watch the two birds fly.

Marinette’s eyes shine with laughter and joy as she takes in the sight of the one she wished she could share the entire world with. Dick’s smile could melt ice with its brilliance as he sees the person he’s missed every single day for six years.

When they both land on the floor as the routine ends, Dick immediately pulls her into a hug, squeezing her as tight as he can. She returns it with just as much, if not more, strength.

“Mari.” He whispers. “It’s you. I found you again.”

“Dick. Robin, mon oiseau. I’ve missed you so much.” Marinette replies, a single happy tear slipping down her cheek.

In the heat of the moment, she makes an impulsive decision and yanks him down by his cape and presses her lips to his. Dick eagerly returns the kiss, and soon, they’re clutching each other like the world is ending (though it was quite the opposite) and their lips firmly glued together, sending bursts of warmth through them.

Wally clears his throat, and they spring apart, only just noticing the other people in the room. “What exactly happened? You guys were doing this super cool trapeze thing like you’ve been practicing it together for years, then you’re saying stuff about ‘finding each other’ and making out like your life depends on it?”

Multimouse and Robin turn bright red, but their smiles stay on their faces. “Well, uh, how do I explain this?” Multimouse turns to Robin, who gives her a thumbs up. “Basically, today was asterous, as Robin would say. As it turns out, our civilian identities were childhood friends and grew up performing in the circus together. I had to move to France when I was eight and we lost contact after that. I was going to train in the gym when I saw Robin doing our old routine, and then everything just sort of clicked and I realized it was him.”

Robin chuckles, wrapping an arm around her waist. “That just about sums it up. I knew it was her when Mouse just seamlessly joined the routine. Although I was suspicious after that last mission. Nobody pulls off a flyaway like Sparrow.”

Multimouse lightly punched his shoulder. “Says the one who does a quadruple somersault as easily as he breathes.” They leaned in for a second kiss, smiling, and the team took that as their cue to leave them be.

Never sure. Will you catch me if I should fall?

Well, it's all an adventure

That comes with a breathtaking view

Marinette, detransformed for once with one of Dick’s domino masks over her face, sits on top of Mount Justice with her partner by her side, enjoying the night sky from their location.

She leans into him, and Dick pulls her in close, huddled under a blanket as they watch the stars glimmer over Happy Harbor.

“You know,” Marinette says quietly, “I used to look at the sky every night in Paris and hope that you were seeing the same stars that I was.”

Dick laughs, such a beautiful sound, blue eyes sparkling. “Really? I used to look at the night sky and think of you too, lubirea mia. It’s so interesting, how things work out.”

“One could say it was… whelming? Did I use that right?” Marinette reaches up and pushes a stray lock of midnight hair out of his face.

Her boyfriend simply chuckles and pulls her in for a kiss as the sun slowly makes the horizon burst with color, shedding its light on a beautiful world.

Walking a tightrope with you

With you

#ml x dc #mlb x dc #maribat #dickinette #songfic #dick grayson x marinette dupain-cheng #young justice au #my writing

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henryobsessed · 4 years

Text

The Widow and the Witcher Chapter 4

Summery, Budding friendship, A wedding and possibly something more

Word Count: 2600

Warning: Fluff

A/N Thank you for the amazing engagement and encouragement

Chapter 4

4 weeks had past and the household of Julia of Wolnosci was full of excitement. Julia had begun to feel like she was getting closer to finding a place of peace. Her clients were beginning to see the changes in her, causing her clinic to begin to make a name for itself again. The estate was also thriving, each of the new servants were adding there skills to the benefit of the family.

Geralt had begun to feel like he was gaining his strength back. He had been working hard with his sword training and was finding working with the horses very therapeutic. Each day Julia continued to work with him in the spring, and using remedial massage to help aid his recovery after each training session. Julia was sure he was well on the way to a full recovery, there were still some scars that were healing but they would fade in time.

Every evening Geralt would come and visit Julia in her library. Some nights the room would be silent as they were both lost in the worlds painted in their books. Some nights the room would be filled with animated discussion debating monsters, politics, and everything in between . The surprising part for Julia was that a real bond of trust and friendship was growing between them. Many night the servants could hear as they went about their chores, deep discussion and laughter coming from the library.

Today there was an air of expectation on the minds of every member of the estate as preparations for a grand wedding celebration were in full swing. Tobias and Renee would be man and wife in just under 3 hours, followed by a huge celebration. The first one to be held at the estate since Wilfred had died. Julia once again looked at the great room, this time the colours were of soft pinks, rose gold and white, Renee's favourite colours. The columns were wrapped with green Ivy and white roses, the tables adorned with pink silk, white and pink roses, rose gold goblets and rose gold and white crockery.

Julia narrowed her eyes and gazed around the room critically looking for anything that was out of place. Just one last look, although knew she didn't really need to. She knew that it had been lovingly done by the servants for their favourite couple, and as she suspected it was perfect. Julia was so grateful for Renee; she had come to be invaluable at the estate. She had refused to return to her family until yesterday. Only leaving to full fill the tradition of her Husband coming to claim her before the ceremony. Not only had she endeared herself to the servants, but she had become a great friend to Julia. They shared many similar passions, hospitality, reading, and Renee had even shared a longing to learn the art of healing from Julia. The unnamed God surely had a hand in bringing Renee to her family, not only for Tobias, but for her as well.

As the sun hit the room a rainbow danced across the wall reflecting off one of the crystal vases. It was only a small rainbow but it was enough to trigger a wall of sadness in Julia, as if a cloud had moved over the sun, suffocating her joy making her heart ache. Her mind remembering the last party she and Wilfred had shared with the village. He should be here. Wilfred would have loved this; He would have loved seeing Tobias married to such a beautiful bride. Allowing herself to dwell on the grief of one more thing that had been stolen from them, Julia began to silently weep.

Geralt was heading to the kitchen to get some apples, his favorite food to give as treats to the horses. As he passed the great room he spotted Julia standing in the middle of the explosion of flowers and finery. Something caught at his heart as he noticed Julia was weeping. Without a thought he quickly moved into the room, and without a word pulled her into his arms. Julia stiffened for just a moment then melted into his chest sobbing as Geralt held her tighter.

After a few minutes her sobs turned into small hiccups, and then she calmed. They stood in each others embrace for what seemed a lifetime. Geralt did not want to let her go, he was surprisingly enjoying the feel of her body against his. Julia also felt surprised, her body enveloped by the warmth of his body and security she felt in his arms. Eventually, Julia pulled back and looked up into his now softened eyes "Thank you" she whispered unsure of what she was feeling she stepped away.

Geralt felt the loss of her body. An ache he had not felt for a very long time spreading through his chest caused him to want more. Silently he reached a hand out to brushed a stray tear from her face, before saying with a low whisper "will you be ok? I sense today might be hard for you." Julia overwhelmed by the compassion this man was showing her, and amazing that he had read her emotions so accurately stood silent. "Mistress?" Tobias stood at the door a bunch of flowers in the crook of his arm. His words broke the spell over Julia, stepping away from Geralt she turned to Tobias answer. "yes my boy?"

Tobias had been nervously pacing the gardens, his task was to make the perfect bouquet to present his bride. This evening when he went to claim her from her father, it would he his gift to her. He had found a beautiful array of her favourite flowers, baby's breath, gardenias, and roses in pink and white. Their beautiful aroma's filling his nostrils, all that was left was to find something special to bind them together. Julia would have just the right touch to make it perfect had been his thought as he strode towards the house. Moving down the corridor, he heard the sound of Geralt's voice coming from the grand room, and on inspection had seen him hovering over Julia who looked like she had been crying.

"Mistress?," he voiced with concern, Julia turned away from Geralt looking at him and replied with a soft voice, "yes my boy?" that endearment never grew old filling him with a familiar warmth. Not sure of what had transpired he entered the room intent of protecting her. "are you ok?" he looked at Geralt who now looked at him with a stony stare. "yes, Tobias I'm ok, I just had a sad moment and Geralt came to my aid. All is well now." Julia wondered at the change in Geralt's face the softness had disappeared replaced with a hard frown, but she decided to ask him about it later. For now, her faithful servant, her Son, had an arm full of flowers, and if he was seeking her out it could mean only one thing, he needed her help.

Tobias sat tall on his horse; he was dressed in the finest ivory silk suit his dark brown hair curled atop his head. In his arms, the bouquet of flowers sat now tied together with an ivory ribbon with two crystals hanging from the ends. Even though it was a cold night Tobias was oblivious to it, his body full of nervous energy right now. All that was on his mind as he kicked his mare into a gallop was that he was going to fetch his bride.

Standing at the doorway to her house Renee stood ready, she too was adorned in a beautiful ivory silk dress that was edged with rose gold satin. Her headdress dripped with crystals across her forehead securing the long shear Vale that covered her face and hair. She held her lantern up peering into the distance, not knowing the hour that Tobias would come as was custom but hoping with nervous expectation that it would not be too much longer.

Her feet tapped the earth in an expectant rhythm, her mind filled with thoughts of the night to come when she felt an soft hand on her arm. Her mother's smile calmed her beating heart as she heard her whisper, "Peace my child. The waiting, the giving and the sharing will all be over in the blink of an eye. So cherish each moment. The waiting is important, there will be many times in your life when you will be waiting for him to return, learn to be content in the waiting." She knew her mother was true, the life of a merchants wife was filled with waiting.

She could hear her father chuckle beside her mother "listen to your mother my daughter, she speaks wisdom from experience." He drew her mother into his arms and kissed her cheek, the love between them was tangible and she hoped that when she and Tobias were their age they would still cherish each other in the same way. Together they waited enjoying the peace, it was her parents who would hand Renee to her betrothed tonight, signifying their agreement of the joining of the two in marriage.

As Tobias approached the city he slowed his horse to a walk. His heart hammered in his chest as he began to see the streets lined with their friends and family. Each holding a lantern to light the way, he smiled at each one until he could see her. Even from a distance she stood out from the rest. There she was holding her lamp a symbol of the love she had for him, it glow illuminating her satin gown creating a vision the brought him to tears. His beloved was waiting for him.

He dismounted and walked to her father and kneeling at his feet, lowered his head and asked "I have come to humble myself before you and your wife. I love your daughter, and ask that you give us your blessing to become husband and wife" He felt a hand reach under his chin and lift his face up, so he could see her father's eyes shinning with tear as he gazed at him replying. "Tobias of the house of Wilfred and Julia of Wolnosci, we have watched the way you care for our daughter. We have seen your character as you deal fairly in the marketplace, and we have witnessed your compassion and loyalty to your mistress, and to the people of this town. Yes, we gladly give our blessing to you and our precious daughter. We welcome you as our Son" helping Tobias to his feet Renee's father brought him to face Renee. "Daughter, do you take this man to be your husband. To love him, and honour him no matter what life's difficulties bring to your house?"

Renee peered up at Tobias through her vale, she could see his handsome face staring at her with a soft look of love, and tears shining in his eyes. She had no doubt in her mind that she would love this man for the rest of her life. So with a strong voice, she said "yes". At this, the street erupted with celebration as Tobias lifted her vale and kissed her sweetly on the lips. Releasing Tobias from the kiss Renee turned and hugged her Mother and Father, as did Tobias then together they walked to his horse. Tobias lifted her into the saddle and jumped up behind her. Together with the rest of their family and friends began a procession back to the estate.

Julia shivered as she stood at the archway to the estate. The road to the house was lined with the servant's, lanterns in hand. Standing in place of Tobias's mother it was her job to accept and welcome the bride and groom to her estate. She had spent the evening with Hannah and Ruth "getting pretty" as Wilfred had called it. She wore a lavender silk dress adorned with crystals that caught the lantern light. Her hair, curled, was half up and half down covering her shoulders with a ring of crystals in her hair. She knew this night would be a wonderful celebration, and she would be happy for this beautiful couple, but there was still an element of sadness.

As she shivered again, Julia felt a warm hand place a shawl over her shoulders. Looking up she found herself lost in a warm gaze of amber-yellow eyes looking down at her. The softness she saw in his eyes caused a quivering in her stomach. An awareness that this man was becoming more to her than she was ready to accept. She shifted her eyes as the intensity of his gaze was becoming unnerving moving to his body. She could see he had washed and his white hair was pulled up into a bun at the back of his neck making him look even taller than his 6ft 1inch height. He was dressed in a simple black outfit that befitted his station and made his silver medallion of a wolf even more prominent on his large chest.

Geralt sensing her discomfort leant down to her ear so only she could hear, "I can leave if you want, but I would prefer to stay by your side tonight. One because I sense you need it, and two I am not great in crowds and would prefer to be near someone I know." Julia felt it took a lot for Geralt to admit this, and realised she was actually comforted by his close presence. Returning his quiet statement with her own whisper "No, don't go, I would be happy for your escort tonight. Thank you for the shawl, I didn't realise how cold it was."

Emboldened by her words Geralt wrapped one arm around Julia pulling her into his side, a soft smile forming on his lips as he teased, "it's even warmer here." Before she had time to protest, she heard the sound of an army of people singing and laughing, she looked into the distance seeing an ocean of glowing lanterns following a lone horse with its two riders. Stepping out from his warmth Julia walked forward in anticipation of greeting her Son and his Bride.

Julia walked to Tobias as they dismounted, her heart bursting with joy as she spoke "Son of my house, I welcome you and your bride to this estate, I pray blessings on this union" Lowering her head as she took each of their hands, she prayed "to the unnamed God, we ask you bring many blessings to this beautiful couple, may you bring them peace and many years of joy" with tears in her eyes she kissed them both on the cheeks, turning together to walk the illuminated road she felt Geralt come up to her side, his presence felt right, filling her with a foreshadowing of something new uncurling in her heart as they walked with the bride and groom to the main dwelling.

Tobias and Renee were standing on the balcony of their apartment at the estate. The sound of music and laughter floating up to them as the celebrations raged on. The love Julia had shown to Tobias and his bride had touched him deeply. The evening had been more than he could have ever imagined. Now with Renee tucked against his side he felt complete, as they looked at the stars. This was their favourite place to be, and it helped to calm his nerves being in this familiar embrace . "are you happy Renee, is this how you imagine it would be?" turning to face Tobias Renee reached up and cupped his face her thumb tracing the line of his cheekbone as she spoke softly. "I would have been happy if we were in feed sacks and it was just my family and yours downstairs. But this" her face held an overwhelmed awe.

"This was beyond any expectations; Julia truly loves you and it has been made even more evident by how lavishly she had blessed us." Tobias smiled down at her chuckling at the dimples the were deepening as her smile echoed his "I think she also loves you; I have seen how close you have gotten over the last few weeks." Tobias tucked a strand of her sandy hair behind her ear, his pulse racing at the intimacy he felt as his voice deepened "and I am glad for it. For whom could not love my sweet and beautiful wife" at this he bent and kissed Renee softly, she responded gently at first then deepened their kiss with more intensity, together they moved to the bridal bed both nervous but happy to explore this new journey together.

Back at the celebrations, Julia found herself lounging against a very warm and firm chest, as the night had progressed, and the wine had flowed she had found herself becoming more and more comfortable with Geralt's touch. So, when he saw how tired she was and suggested she rest against him there was no hesitation. Feeling snug and secure she looked around the room with satisfaction. Once again, her house would be known for its celebrations, and it warmed her heart to see the happy faces, people dancing to the minstrel's tunes, and people lounging engaged in discussion. Contentment filled her heart as her body began to slip into unconsciousness.

Geralt was relaxed, and thanks to his gentle coaxing he had Julia in his arms. He could smell her honeysuckle scented hair as her head rested just below his chin. His eyes strayed allowing himself to look closely at the woman in his arms. Julia didn't seem to know what her very presence did to him. Her hair tonight was a mass of curls, and it took all his self-control not to reach out and play with it. Her dress hugged her figure in all the right places, and ..... What was he doing? He pulled his mind back from where his thoughts were headed. The last time he had allowed himself to get close to a woman other than the ones he paid for was Yennefer. She was like night and day with Julia. Where Julia was compassion, warmth and peace. Yennefer was passion, anger and chaos. Could he, would he risk opening his heart to Julia? subtle as it was her relaxed body now snuggled even further into his chest, and if he judged her weight right, she was falling asleep.

Knowing that the celebration would continue till sunrise he shifted his body so he could pick Julia up in his arms. Carrying her down the marble corridor to her room he placed her on the bed. Tucking her in he went to move away but she captured his hand. "stay with me, I'm cold" Julia whispered. Not sure if she would feel the same way in the morning but not willing to ignore such an invitation Geralt took off his sandals and slipped in beside her pulling her close. She buried her back against his chest and sighed before even breathing showed she had fallen asleep. Geralt, however, did not sleep for a long time. Holding this precious woman in his arms was comforting and at the same time torcher. In the still of the moment watching her sleep he decided she was too special to ignore, tomorrow he would tell her how he felt. Mind made up he fell into a deep sleep.

Previous Chapter Three Next Chapter Five

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@keanureevesisbae @darkverrmin @viking-raider @littlefreya @madbaddic7ed @the-soot-sprite @thelastsock @lovetusilver20 @crimsonrae @demivampirew @ladyreapermc @henrycavillobsessed @nitannichionne @runawayolives @heartfelt-pen @omgkatinka @star017 @llly113 @sad-ghost-of-garbage @ayamenimthiriel @starstruckkittyangel @lebguardians @summersong69 @notyouraveragemochii @imneonpanda @carriebee1 @ivyfatale @thereisa8ella @lucy930

#thewidowandthewitcher #henry cavill #henrycavill #geralt #geralt of rivia #the witcher #geralt fanfic

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frodos-bizarre-adventure · 3 years

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@gingerreggg oh yeah we're back baby

Heads Up- Part 19 (Joseph x Bust! Caesar)

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

"Shall we pack these up too?" Mark asked, as the maintenance man began unloading the artworks into the van. The winning masterpieces would be auctioned off to other museums, with the blessing of their creators, to find fame and bring fortune elsewhere.

"Take them all," said Professor Straizo nonchalantly, indifferent as he usually was.

It was late evening as Mark and Professor Straizo began dismantling the exhibit. The exhibition was over, and soon one by one the entries began to disappear.

Save for one.

One familiar-looking bust that was in secret unlike all the others.

"And this one too?" Mark asked, gently but uneasily picking up the sculpture and straining under its weight.

Professor Straizo glanced at the bust. Its brilliant green eyes gazed at him, seemingly piercing into his very soul, and it made him very uncomfortable looking at it for long.

"Put...put it away with the rest," he said, waving his hand away. "That Joestar boy can probably just make a new one with his skill if he wants it, just get it out of my sight."

"Huh, I guess he won't miss it all too much," Mark shrugged, as he lowered the bust into the van. "I'll just tell him where we took it in case he does want to see it again."

-------

All the while Caesar stood unmoving, on his pedestal, frozen in place like the lifeless art piece he was intended to be. He was waiting for Joseph to come back.

He was waiting for Joseph to take him home.

But now he felt himself being carried, handled, and transported by the maintenance man from the previous night. The strange, gloved hands felt uncomfortable and unwelcome upon his base.

This was not part of the plan.

He wanted to scream and cry and struggle, call out for Joseph's name. But he knew he couldn't. He knew he couldn't risk exposing his true nature to others, as Joseph had warned him about. The consequences would be dire. And he didn't even know what they would be. Besides, even if he did try to fight back, what else could he do? He was a bust.

He was helpless.

Joseph..., he thought silently, as strange hands lowered him into a crate in the backseat.

And if his handler had been looking more closely, he would have seen a look of sorrow on the inert figure's painted face.

------

It wasn't long before Joseph strode into the hall, eager as ever.

"Caesar! We've come to take you home! We've--"

And then his joy melted into horror as his greeting ground to a halt.

Caesar was nowhere to be seen.

"Caesar! Where are you?" he cried, searching all around the gallery. Everything else had gone too. The paintings, models and statues, all had been moved away to make room for the next exhibit.

"Jojo! What's the matter?" Suzi huffed as she caught up with him.

"It's Caesar..." Joseph said, his voice cracking slightly in despair. "He's gone."

"Looking for something, Mr. Joestar?" asked a deep voice, from behind. Both Joseph and Suzi turned around, to see the raven-haired professor of earlier, leaning against a wall.

"Oh, Professor Straizo," Joseph said, managing to maintain his composure as well as he could, "I was looking for my sculpture. You know, the bust? The one you graded earlier this day? I'm sure you remember him--it," Joseph pleaded.

Straizo turned away indifferently. "I'm afraid Mark has already taken the artworks to another gallery, perhaps to be auctioned or put up on display."

Joseph's heart sank. This was what he'd feared the most.

Losing Caesar.

"But...but I said Professor Lisa that I could take it home! That project was mine alone and belongs with me!" He fought back a tear and his swelling rage. He felt betrayed.

Straizo snapped. "Listen here, Mr. Joestar! What in the world is with your inordinate attachment to that disturbing figure? You could create another one if you want! It's just a piece of clay!"

"Not to me, it isn't," Joseph growled through clenched teeth. "That sculpture is not just clay for me. He means everything. I loved him more than anything else in the world. If only you knew..."

Straizo raised an eyebrow in utter bewilerment. What did he mean 'he'? And by 'loved'?

"This boy is delusional," he said to himself.

"Well, if you want it so badly then go plead to Mark, he's got your...whatever it is, at the auction gallery," he groaned in address to the increasingly distraught Joseph. "Do whatever you want with it as long as I never have to see that thing again."

Without another word Joseph stormed off, Suzi following behind.

He couldn't let them take Caesar.

Not on his watch.

--------

Caesar had no clue where they were taking him. The back of the van was dark, and he wasn't tall enough to peek out the window to assess his location.

But he felt uneasy. He knew Joseph was worried.

He knew Joseph would be wondering where he was. And he couldn't even call for help.

He hoped, with all his being, that Joseph would come for him.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted, however, when the van suddenly jostled, shaking violently and screeching to a stop. He was shaken in his box by the sudden movement, and before he knew it the vehicle had stopped in his tracks, and he could hear Mark's loud complaints from the front seat.

"Dammit! I think I busted a tyre..." he grumbled, stepping out the vehicle. Caesar heard a click, and saw a faint light shine into the back, freezing in place as the flashlight passed over him.

"Well, good thing nothing's broken," Mark mumbled as he inspected the contents of the van, relieved that none of the art was damaged in the little fiasco. He headed over to the front wheel, to check the damage, and his haste, left the back of the van open.

It was a big mistake.

Peeking through a slit in the box, Caesar could see a small figure approaching from the distance, and without warning, peeking into the box that contained him and grabbing it tightly. For a moment Caesar hoped it was Joseph come to take him back-- but he realized too late it wasn't his beloved Jojo at all, but someone much smaller.

And had Mark paid more attention, he would have noticed the small figure of a child dashing away from the van and into an alley-- clutching in both arms a crate that harbored the most unusual artwork of all.

---------

Twelve-year old Smokey Brown was a bit of a victim of circumstance.

He'd lived in the streets for years, surviving off his wits, after having fled from a neglectful household. It was a tough life for a young boy, but he had little choice in the matter.

It was the only life he had known for a long time.

He'd made a living off petty theft and pickpocketing, a livelihood he wasn't all too proud of, but one that filled his aching stomach when there was nothing else within reach. He'd lived off the kindness of strangers for so long, but over the years, they had become less generous-- and he had to play rough to make it out in the harsh and cruel world.

And today he'd hit a jackpot.

He recognized the van of the art department. Perhaps they had something of value? He'd seen an opportunity when the hapless vehicle had struck a flat tire, and the driver had carelessly left the back open.

Perfect.

He saw his chance, and seized it. Grabbing a small crate that was well within reach, he hurried off with his prize. It was heavy and made him use both hands, and inwardly he grinned, as he felt this was something of worth.

He retreated to a small, abandoned warehouse several streets away, where he'd been sheltering for the last few days. Exhausted from the strain of his thievery, he sat down against a wall and dropped the box heavily onto the ground.

And to his surprise, he heard a groan from inside.

------

At once Caesar regretted reacting to the rough handling.

He hoped his captor wouldn't notice, but as the box opened, he knew right away that he'd been exposed. He tried freezing in place, but it was too late.

The boy screamed in shock, prompting a startled cry from Caesar, who in his panic tipped the box over. He at long last got a good look at his unwitting kidnapper-- a small, dark-skinned boy with short, curly hair and a small braid at the back of his head.

He definitely wasn't Joseph.

And he most certainly didn't react the way Joseph would.

-------

Smokey stumbled back in shock at the sight of the contents of the box.

It was a head.

A sculpted head, but one that looked so real that for a moment he feared it was a real severed human head, until he touched it and was relieved to feel it was clay.

But his moment of relief was short-lived: for the head, despite being clay, had moved.

It was alive.

Somehow.

"Y-you're alive!" Smokey stammered as he tried to collect himself. "You're...real?"

Caesar sighed. He knew there was no point in pretending.

"You're like, the fourth person to ever see me and they've all reacted the same."

"You're talking..." Smokey gasped in shock, still not over the surprise. "You're a talking clay head." For a moment Smokey felt he was going mad. Was this some divine punishment tugging on his conscience for his crime?

Caesar laughed dryly as he struggled himself upright. "I get that a lot," he muttered, as he began to hop closer to the startled boy, who stumbled backwards and fell to the floor with a crash.

"Stay away from me!" Smokey pleaded, shuffling backwards at the sight of a talking, bouncing head. "What are you? Where did you come from?"

"Quit freaking out, kid," Caesar complained. "I can't hurt you even if I wanted to, and I don't", he scolded.

"What are you?" Smokey repeated.

"I am a clay bust courtesy of a certain Joseph Joestar," he answered. "I'm his grand masterpiece."

As surprised as he was, Smokey could see a hint of sadness in the strange being's face. And now he couldn't help but feel pity for the figure he had stolen.

He was a thief, not a kidnapper. There was a difference.

"Joseph Joestar?" Smokey asked. He'd heard of the name before. "Like...the artist?"

"Huh, so you have heard of him," Caesar mused. "Never knew Jojo was so famous." Smokey heard how fondly the bust spoke of his creator, and felt remorseful.

He scratched his head. "Listen there, clay head...man?" he mumbled. "Whatever you are, I'm real sorry I stole you. I didn't mean to, alright? I was after some stuff but...you're not stuff, I guess. You can talk, for one."

Even at the indignity of being stolen, Caesar couldn't help but feel warmly touched at being seen as a person, by someone else.

"Well then, kid, you can make it up for me by helping me find Joseph. I'm sure he wants me back."

-------

(Previous Chapter)

(Next Chapter)

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #hands of life au #gingerreggg #caejose #caesar x joseph #sculptor!joseph #bust!caesar #heads up #battle tendency

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chelsie-carson · 4 years

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Life at Lock Downton Abbey! DIY hairdos, Delia's cottage pie and a beard that would make Carson weep – Jim Carter and his wife Imelda Staunton on how they've been coping

Jim Carter and Imelda Staunton are pondering their remarkably different approaches to grooming while they've been under lockdown.

Jim, best known as Downton Abbey butler Carson, has spent his time staying well away from the razor and is now sporting a luxurious beard and a thick mane of wavy grey locks.

'My hair's getting longer and longer,' he chortles. 'I'm reverting to my hippie roots!'

His wife meanwhile, Harry Potter and Vera Drake star Imelda, who joined her husband in the Downton cast in last year's movie, admits to taking DIY action to maintain her appearance.

'I cut my own hair the other night and it was rather successful,' she says proudly.

'You did a good job, love. I'll do the back for you one day...' Jim jokes.

It's not hard to see why these two have one of the most successful marriages in show business. Their quick and easy banter reveals a charming affection that's tangible even over the telephone.

Incidentally, telephones are where the pair have been drawing the line recently with communication.

'We both hate technology and we're not very good at it,' says Jim, 71.

He and Imelda, 64, who met during a stage production of Guys And Dolls in 1982 and married a year later, are staunchly opposed to the video-calling apps like Zoom that have been helping people stay socially active during lockdown.

'We don't feel the need for it,' he says. 'I'm enjoying making phone calls rather than sending emails, having the luxury of a long conversation, not shovelling out information.'

Jim's also been writing letters and postcards to old acquaintances, including one to a 'school friend from 60 years ago', as well as being ultra-neighbourly.

He and Imelda have been looking out for a lady who lives alone on their street in Hampstead, north London, delivering her freshly cut flowers from their garden.

'A couple of times now she's trotted around here and left us croissants on the step for our breakfast in return. Isn't that fabulous?' says Jim.

'We all need to look out for each other, that's the message.'

It's this ethos that underscores a charity project the couple have been backing – a recording of Mariah Carey's ballad Anytime You Need A Friend by the Breathe Harmony NHS choir.

The single features staff from London's Guy's and St Thomas' hospitals, including frontline nurses, doctors and porters, plus more than 100 volunteer singers and musicians from 12 countries.

Each singer joined in virtual rehearsals before submitting their performances on their

'It's an international message of positivity and hope,' says Jim. '

At the end of their shifts they're playing it in hospitals to staff and patients, and people are finding it moving and uplifting.'

'What's moving is someone singing in a choir when they're absolutely on their knees,' adds Imelda.

'These people have been saving lives then going off to sing, and it's been therapeutic for them because they're not having to make decisions, they're not on a knife edge.

'They're just connecting with their emotions and having a release through song.' The track was produced by Mike King, who has worked with musicians such as Mark Ronson and Boy George.

Proceeds from the single, which Mariah herself has tweeted her support for, saying it 'brought her to tears', will be shared between Mike's MyCool Music Foundation and Breathe Arts Health Research, which tries to bring a bit of joy to patients and staff alike through music, magic and dance.

Jim and Imelda became patrons of the latter five years ago after throwing their weight behind Breathe Magic, a series of summer camps for children with cerebral palsy and brain injuries that help them develop motor skills and independence.

The couple usually end up on stage as stooges for the mini magicians. 'It's the best show in town,' says Imelda.

For Jim, himself a keen magician, the rewards are abundant. 'If you want to cry, go to a Breathe Magic show to see these children overcoming quite complex difficulties,' he says. 'The joy is heartbreaking.'

The couple have no complaints about how their lives have been under lockdown, and acknowledge that their garden means they are more privileged than most.

Plus, quite by chance, a week before the restrictions were imposed their actress daughter Bessie and her flatmate moved in because their flat was being redecorated. They've been there ever since.

'It's been lovely,' beams Jim, who says that Bessie, 26, seen recently in the ITV drama Beecham House, and her pal do the lion's share of the shopping.

'It's playing to my strengths because I'm not the world's greatest shopper. We've all been slotting into our little domestic routine.'

Imelda, meanwhile, has been doing most of the cooking.

'I'll be doing a Delia cottage pie tomorrow,' she says, which sparks an enthusiastic 'Ooh!' from Jim. 'The secret is cinnamon, that's all I'm saying.'

Imelda has also been occupying herself with rehearsals for a BBC revival of Alan Bennett's Talking Heads monologues series. It first aired in 1988, and is now being rebooted at Elstree studios in accordance with government social distancing guidelines.

But like the majority of actors, Imelda and Jim have been mostly left high and dry by coronavirus. Her next project, a new production of Hello, Dolly!, was due to open at London's Adelphi Theatre in August but is now on hold indefinitely.

She refuses to complain though. 'There are people dying,' she says.

'People risking their lives to go to work. So at the moment the arts will have to wait in line.'

There has been much talk about a Downton Abbey movie sequel.

The 2019 film, which came four years after the last episode aired on TV and starred Imelda as the Queen's lady-in-waiting, scooped £136m at the box office last autumn.

'I think everybody would be up for another,' says Imelda. 'It did well all over the world and you want to do things that give people pleasure, so why not?'

Although Imelda feels positive that the arts business will recover, it's a waiting game for now. 'We're keeping ourselves happy and relaxed,' she declares.

Jim has 'rediscovered cycling' and is delighting in the freedom of the new normal. 'I haven't been putting pressure on myself to achieve this or that.

'If I want to read a book in the afternoon, I do it with an easy conscience,' he says.

'Take some of that compulsion out of your life and, if you can, relish every day.'

Anytime You Need A Friend is out now. For more information visit breatheahr.org.

(x)

#jim carter #imelda staunton #downton abbey #cuties #charity work #quarantine #they're so adorable together #real life otp #jimelda

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queerchoicesblog · 4 years

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After The Storm

Folks, here’s the second suggestion (thanks a mill @scottishqueer) for the wlw writing project. Inspo is fleaky lately but I want everyone who sent ideas to know that I’m working on them: I’m just a bit slow to write! But I hope you will enjoy this.

A little note about this series set in the Italian Renaissance. I chose a location very dear to me and - hopefully - a bit unusual: Ferrara, the city where my grandparents lived and my mom was born. I love that place and I’ll probably go back there in August: I still remember my grandpa taking me to the Castle (I have a picture showing little me proudly sitting on a pile of cannonballs in the internal stone garden on a sunny day), the Cathedral and the palaces around town. I incorporated them all in the story.

Ferrara was also one of the capitals of the Italian Renaissance, a Duchy ruled by the House of Este, a princely family, linked with several contemporary royal dynasties, including the British royal family. They were notorious patrons of the arts and innovators (through architeractural projects like the one called “Addizione” they were precursors of modern city planning); Duke Alfonso, who makes a cameo in the story and was the third husband of the infamous Lucrezia Borgia, was a patron of Ariosto, a famous poet to whom - ironically - my high school was dedicated. So yeah, I added a personal to this miniseries.

If you do happen to like this miniseries, please consider spreading the word!

Previous series: Ancient Greece

__________________________

The rain has finally subsided. When I wake up at the very first lights of dawn, only a faint rattling against the windows can be heard, a testament to the storm an unkind wind blew from where the sea lays and roars. I cherish the feeling, the newfound sweet peace after the howling winds of the night. My beautiful little boy is resting by my side. My poor Tommaso: my little angel has been unwell for days, I have never seen him shed all those tears since the day he was born. He cried and cried until his screams of fear and pain were barely audible and none of us knew what to do. Even Riccardo, my ever-absent, ever-busy husband, worried and urged the presence of a physician with great haste, concern written all over his face. I've never seen him like that before. Tommaso is our only son, too beautiful and young to surrender to a hideous disease and leave this world. If I allow myself to dwell into these thoughts, oh that would be enough to kill me! Seeing my boy suffering was almost unbereable: his desperate cries pierced right through my heart as I held him close, impotent yet hopeful that my presence could provide him a little comfort. Mum is here, my love, fighting and suffering with you.

It's an indescribable joy and relief to wake up this morning and see him sleeping peacefully after the agony and the storm. Tommaso is afraid of thunders and dark skies, I hated the rainstorm for being so unmerciful and throwing new fears to my troubled little prince. I wish I could have blown it away like Aeolus but I do not detain such power over the natural elements.

I gently stroke his head, a feather touch: God forbid I wake him! I almost cry but I manage to refrain myself: my sobbing could disturb his heavenly slumber and I don't want him to see me crying. I'll greet him with a smile when his eyes open up again and nuzzle his belly before covering him with kisses from head to toe. Tommaso loves it and I'm sure Riccardo won't object for once, not after what we've been through. I really thought I would lose my angel.

Thankfully, Lady Death spared him or so it seems. When he wakes he looks back to his usual self, no sign of the cruel pain torturing him. He gets all happy and excited underneath my kisses and eats with a good appetite. He simply looks a bit more abashed and tired than usual but it's understandable. I'll follow the physician's advice and ask my maid to get eggs and cook one of those soups and creams I had too when I was recovering from giving birth. That will hopefully help.

Seeing him happy again makes me forget about the events and mundane meetings I have missed over the past few days since he got ill. I love attending them but it all became suddenly so meaningless when my son lost his light and health. I must remember to save a prayer and make an offering for his miraculous recovery. And I can get the report of the latest happenings at court from my dear friends. They sent notes inquiring about Tommaso and I am glad to let them know the fortunate turn of events.

They visit me the day after. I have many friends here but Maria and Virginia are special companions to me. Maria is the oldest of the group, she has two sons already in marital age, but she has been good to me since I first walked into the castle. She comes from one of the wealthiest noble families in town: she's an institution at court and it meant so much to me that she took me under her wing when I was the new girl here, the young bride of "the most skilled diplomat that has ever served the House of Este". She has her ideas and a temper, of course, we don't agree on everything but she's been a sort of mentor to me and I will always be grateful to her for that: all I know about properly living at court, well I owe it to her. Virginia is about my age, another "pupil" of Maria. I like her: she's a bit shier and meeker than our friend and she has a little boy too so I'm sure she fully understood my anguish.

Apparently, I didn't miss anything important as I guarded Tommaso with my life. Same old rivalries between dames, the yet unconfirmed gossips about the Duke marriage plans, how displeased the jealous favourite looked even if she denied her irritation. Good old court life. I comment that there is still so much going on in our fair Ferrara: the Addizione is proceeding and rumour has it, the palace the previous Duke commissioned for court entertainments, Palazzo Schifanoia, is being renewed and expanded. It goes without saying that it is bound to be a work of unprecedented beauty. I don't remember who was saying so but I know the Duke and his passion for the arts so I find it hard to doubt.

Virginia claps her hand and notes that actually yes, I missed something. Speaking of arts and artistic projects, do I remember when rumours of an external artist joining the enterprise spread? Well, it happened! Now, that I think about it, I remember...Riccardo mentioned it one night as we came back from a music gathering. Apparently, our most brilliant architect, Biagio Rossetti, the genius in charge of bringing the Duke's vision to life and into art, requested another artist to join his brigade. If I got it right, it should be a talented colleague from Florence, Sir Davide whatever...I forgot his surname. He served the House of Medici and excelled so brightly that our fair Biagio summoned him as his right hand. Allegedly, our architect - or , God forbid!, the Duke himself - is unsatisfied with how the projects are proceeding and firmly believes that a fresh set of eyes and hands will benefit the future glory of our Duchy.

"The new architect arrived - when was it? Oh yes, the day after you informed us that poor Tommaso was ill, you definitely missed" Virginia explains.

He looks nice: a handsome man, who knows how to behave himself at court, a true gentleman. I tease my friend asking if she has already put her eyes on him. Virginia blushes a little before protesting: of course not, she would never do anything like that, not to her Carlo, she's a married woman and loyal. Maria interrupts her.

"Oh stop it: as if that would be an impediment!"

"Well, ideally it is!"

"Yes, but only ideally, as you said" Maria laughs. "My young girl, you should know that everyone at court has affairs sooner or later. We'll get you a lover too one day"

"Maria, you're incorrigible!" Virginia giggles, pretending a shyness that is no longer there, replaced by a hint of mischief.

Maria just shrugs, picking up a cherry from the bowl my maid laid on the table.

"Just experienced. So believe me when I tell you we all need the thrill of a secret affair in our lives...otherwise what is left to us? We would die of boredom!"

"I cannot vouch for Maria's theory but you said it yourself, the Florentine architect is here now and he's a handsome man..." I add, winking, to join the conversation.

"You'll vouch for my theory too, dove. Give me time and I'll get yourself a lover too" Maria exclaims.

"...Before a fair lady of the court catches his eyes and bewitches his heart" I continue, addressing Virginia as I prevent Tommaso from climbing up the table on his hunt for cherries.

My friends exchange an amused look.

"Oh but he's married, Emilia!" Virginia explains. "He didn't travel alone, his wife followed him here too. We met them both"

Ah, that's unexpected! I have already pictured a handsome bachelor joining our court but that's good to hear. As much as I enjoy the company of my friends and the other dames, I have noticed though the years that new companions are a blessing. A little novelty, even if momentary at times, could have the same effect of fresh air on a hot summer day. Otherwise, we would die of boredom, as Maria said, referring to lovers. I wouldn't go that far but a new lady in town could be good news.

"Oh, nice! A potential new friend. We should invite her to join our next sewing meeting and get to know her. As well as the hottest gossips from Florence, that is! What do you think?" I smile.

Surprisingly, the expression on my friends' faces is unreadable. Did I say something wrong? Was I too straightforward? Oh gosh, I hope they didn't take my enthusiasm as personal displeasure of our sewing meetings or their company! I better get this right.

"So, how's the new lady?" I inquiry nonchalantly as I prove myself in the funniest faces I can master to make my child laugh.

I succeed: Tommaso claps his tiny hands and laughs until he's out of breath.

"Oh, don't even get me started with her!" Maria dismisses my question but I know her long enough to know she can't wait to tell me what she thinks and maybe more.

"Nothing much, she keeps to herself. Not quite the talker" Virginia shrugs.

"Ah, she's way more tolerable when she keeps her mouth shut anyway!" Maria intervenes again and I'm sure she's not done with just that.

"My my, it seems you took quite a dislike for her" I giggle, exchanging an amused look with Virginia.

"I couldn't help myself, my dear" Maria continues, fanning herself as if to cool down her mounting anger. "Another boorish yet arrogant Florentine"

"The Florentine are always so full of themselves" I concede, cradling my son in my arms.

"Then she must be the Queen of them all" Maria barks a throaty laughter. "She looks so...so high and almighty: 'oh no, I'm afraid we don't play this game in Florence', 'I don't know what it means, we don't have this word in Florence', 'Florence here and that'. Believe me, sweetheart, we were trying to be kind to her but she's impossible! She acts like royalty but she's the wife of an...architect"

She pronounces the last words with evident displease. I can't refrain laughter: she's always been such a snob! I comment that she certainly sounds like...something.

"Oh but you'll have the disgrace to meet her soon enough!" Maria exclaims. "You know that our Duke is so fond of artists, he will certainly invite them again at the next dinners and balls"

"Speaking of the ball" Virginia intervenes to prevent her from keeping ranting. "What will you wear at the Masquerade Ball next month? I ordered a most extravagant costume yesterday, I can't wait to show you-"

We spend the rest of the afternoon discussing the upcoming events at court and the latest trends, gossiping about what we suspect the other dames will wear.

Ah, I missed my friends and our conversations...

#wlw writing #wlw writing project #original work #wlw miniseries #lgbtqa+#italian renaissance

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blake-nikos · 4 years

Text

The longest DnD backstory i have made... so far

so small bit of context this is for a 5e game in a 18th century bloodborne style setting. it was meant to be one shot so i just made lady maria of the astral clock tower as my character, but the dm really likes the setting and how the game went so its becoming a full game, but i really liked how i played lady maria but i wanted something a little more then a dnd version of a bloodborne boss so i wrote this over the last few hours and its now 5:30 am oops The lady maria real name Blair ( insert appropriate lore last name with vanhellsing vibes to it ) class blood hunter level 10 Born into a noble house the daughter of a previous lady maria that died during child birth and a noble man, that was once a charming artist and writer but reduced to a cowardly shell of a man after the death of his first love, even though he has re married he never found his passions for the arts again now only making bland history text books for schools and little else. all through Blair's early life her grandfather on her mothers side would come around every few months bring gifts and tails of his latest monster hunts and the promise of "once your older if you wish it, I'll take you away from this stale noble life" as she grew her grandfather started training her in swordsmanship and fire arms, her farther forbid the training but the grandfather kept coming till one day he had the town guards waiting and threaten to have him killed if he took "his last piece of her away" blair over heard this but didn't understand at the time only being around 9 years old confused as her farther barely could even stand to look at her most days. Her grandfather didn't come for 3 years after that point, till one night blare started getting ravens at her window with short notes and pages taken from swordsmanship manuals page by page every day over time forming more then a few books on different styles of fighting and firearm manufacture and such. she trained every day till her hands were blistered from the bits of wood and furniture she had been using as wooden swords to train with in her bedroom. On the day before her 14th birthday she noticed a hooded figure with a raven in the small woods out her window, she grabbed a small kitchen knife she had stolen and suck out looking for them. it didn't take long till she was deep in the woods only to be startled by a well made wooden sword being thrown to her feet "pick it up and fight for your birthday present little one" the look of joy forced down by one of determination she picked up the sword and took the guard positions she'd been practicing for all this time, swing hard but true to form never faltering a step in her foot work, pushing the old man on to is back foot , not one to show to much mercy and a reflex from years of fighting he pushed hard in to his next swing and disarmed her of her wooden sword just as he dropped his guard about to gloat " guess some ones not getting her..." shes rushes him gets her body under his guard position thrusts her arms right up under his chin and with the stolen kitten knife to his neck "took you long enough old man" drops the knife to her side and hugs him tight enough she may have heard some of is old bones crack. and starts to cry into his chest. "okay alright little one, you won the fight now need to crush me now" as he hugs her back for a moment. "i know its been a while " only to hear " too long " as she kicks him in the shin "if you hit me again no present " She pules back to look at him to notice a few more scars on his face then last time she spoke to him. he stands up straight and calls out “ lady maria please come meet my grand daughter” As a hooded woman with a raven on her shoulder looking to be in her late 30s steps out from behind a tree. she steps forward and curtsy towards Blair “ its a honor to meet you little miss, i knew your mother well, and she would be very proud of such a skilled young fighter” she says with a smile, a head tilt and a slight tear in her eye “ you most certainly have her eyes and expressions... its like looking at a memory right before me” Blair looks to her before looking down to the dirt “ ive only heard story's from granddad and farther locked all the paintings of mum in the attic i haven't seen them in years” her grandfather after swallowing his anger “ well this just wont do “ and pulls out a locket from his pocket “ i have a portrait of her above the mantel in my family manner, why don't you hold on to this one, till you come see it for your self “ as he hands her the locked with a small picture of her mother inside. she holds it close before placing it around her neck. “but now little one its your birthday tomorrow and that's not your gift this is!” as the lady maria grabs a fabric wrapped sword from behind her “this was hers it needed some repairs after she put it aside when she moved in with your father, but its been cleaned sharped and has a fresh coat of sliver” Blair takes the wrapping off the sword to see a brilliant sliver coated steel scabbed, a saber with a enlarged almost small sword style handle and guard. she clips it to her belt and draws the blade “its heavy... well compared to a chair leg but the balance feels much nicer, this, this is mine now ?” her grandfather smiles “yes little one cant have you training with chair legs forever now can we, plus you will need a real blade when our lady maria hear starts training you in our family's blood magic next week ” Blair now looking rather confused “ blood magic?” the grandfather draws a dagger from his belt and slices the the blade along his palm as the blood runs down the blade it starts to crackle and spark with lightning he throws the blade at a tree and it sparks with a brilliant light and shark cracking sound like a small bolt of lighting, “now little one this is a family secret so don't go talking about magic, can you promise me that and don't let your father find that sword?” she nods her head with gusto “ yes sir ! totally, easy, no problem. and he wont look at me any way so its easy to steal stuff and sneak around ” the day starts to grow long and they say there goodby’s for now 3 years of weakly training some times with grandfather, some times with lady maria, some times with both and some times with a different lady maria she dresses the same and spoke the same formal way for the most part but much younger she explained “lady maria is not my name little one its a title... all the lady maria's are in some way related even you. im actually your cousin my name is Juliet. the older lady maria you met the first night was my aunt and your mothers sister. On her 16th birthday and a few years of Blair being a rebellious young teen and making trouble for the towns guard and her farther getting more and more strict as she aged, Blair promptly set out with trying to ruin her farther reputation especially when the step mother started pressing to “marry her off “ even though the farther was against it the step mother started making plans for marriage behind his back. Blair being a witty young trouble maker found out about her plans and took it as a challenge and found a new form of combat training in bar fights and sneaking to the next town over and drinking with the army boys in training. till it go to the tipping point a argument with her farther that was promoted by the step mother yelling at him for the better part of the day, when she came home at dusk one evening not looking to worse for ware but about as far lady like as one can get, her father going straight in to yelling “whats wrong with you!? why must you fight against the best life you’ll ever get? how ungrateful are you ! “ the step mother butting in “ your mother would be ashamed you” with out hesitation from across the room Blair pulls a knife cuts her palm and utters a Blood Curse of Bloated Agony on the step mother and drops the step mother to her knees in pain “ you know nothing about her you good for nothing noble piece of trash” “ and dad i don’t know if you hate me... or blame me for killing mum by being borne, but you never loved me you never gave me what i needed!, and you took away the only person that could! you stopped granddad from coming you took the one person that loved me! you left me with nothing what did you expect!? her farther now yelling at Blair to stop this “fine if you want to be with him so badly then leave but if you do your title stays behind your money you’ll will be nothing more then a common present!” “OH but father i have a title you could never take I’m the lady maria” as she drops the curse go’s to her room packs a travel bag grabs her mothers sword and walks right by her father who is trying to calm the step mother now screaming for a doctor and calling Blair a witch, on the way out Blair with sword worn proud on her side, she hesitates for a moment in the door way with her back to her farther, and can hear him over the sound of the now rageing woman next to him “what have i done Ive lost her again... i’m sorry i’m so sorry” blair pretends not to hear him and walks away in to the night. after another year of training now at the grandfathers manor and returning the locket, she started going on monster hunts and when the war came true and proper she fought right besides the young army boys from time to time as a mercenary and protected them from the monsters by night, even earning some honorary militarily ranks. now a few years after the war shes now 31 and has been a proper lady maria for a good while fighting monsters and making stories of her own.

#dnd backstory

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succulentsstars · 5 years

Text

The 5 Times Katherine Lester Comforted Phil and the One time she did not

Word count: 11.9k Warnings: Injury/Angst Rating: Teen

-Here it is! My PBB fic! Sorry if the formatting is weird I haven’t posted fics in ages! Huge thanks to my Beta @imjustgenna and my artist @ayushikuu you guys have been wonderful-

•

Kath was exhausted. Exhausted to the point where the word ‘exhausted’ seemed like an understatement. The day was long and strenuous, similar to the past week. Babies tend to do that to mothers, and Phil was no exception.

The insanity had begun on Thursday when the contractions had started. Friday it escalated into full on labor. Tons of bright lights, rushing doctors and nurses, and one worried husband all focused on Kath as she screamed in agony. What she thought to be the end was signaled by a piercing yet beautiful cry, but it was short lasted as the umbilical cord was wrapped loosely around the baby’s neck and he had to be rushed away.

When little Phil finally returned, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a pale blue cap, his time in Kath’s arms felt like but a moment before the insanity resumed.

After several tests and vaccinations, Kath was allowed to take Phil home. But only to be greeted there by an endless parade of relatives, friends, and near-strangers. It seemed like this present moment, sitting in her bed with a recently fed Phil in her arms, was the first peaceful one after nine months of madness. All the midnight cravings, morning sickness, and the rollercoaster of mood swings… it had definitely been a ride.

But now, if only for a short while, there was peace. Kath looked down at her son, fast asleep in her arms. The mood that resulted from his recent feeding had such euphoria that he had been lulled to a deep sleep. He looked to be at complete peace, which took away the edge of Kath’s fierce matrical instinct. What a relief.

Perhaps that feeling hadn’t been present for all nine months. The first time Kath had Phil on her mind he wasn’t yet ‘Phil’ or even a ‘he’. Just two little lines on a pregnancy test. Just a bundle of cells, just a tiny bump. But now Phil felt distinctly hers.

The moms in the neighborhood were what Kath thought was the cause for such defensive feelings towards her baby. Despite their outward kindness, they had ulterior motives. It took Kath a bit to realize this, however. The first news of the pregnancy made them swarm with delight.

‘Two Lester children. What a delight! Someone for Martyn to play with. Wouldn’t a little girl be sweet to have? Someone to dress up and talk to? Yes, a little girl would be wonderful!’

Their words won Kath over at first. She began to picture the baby as a girl. A girl to dress up, talk to, and relate with. A beautiful baby girl. However, a few weeks later, once the gender was revealed, the ladies seemed disappointed.

‘A boy? Ah, what a shame. Two boys, your house will never be at peace! Are you going to try for a girl?’

Listening to their words brought a shame over Kath, until something inside her reminded her of how ridiculous it was to discard her joy because she was having a son.

“I still think two is enough. And I think he will be a lovely, beautiful baby.”

After that statement, the get togethers with the neighborhood moms became infrequent. But Kath didn’t mind. Nigel had agreed with her when she voiced concern; two children would be wonderful, and there was no need for another just to have a girl. Two parents with two kids, the idea seemed good for them. One to put Martyn to sleep, as Nigel was doing now, and one to lull Phil, as Kath was.

She looked down at her son once again. He was just so…tiny. His little hand could hardly curl around her entire finger. Maybe it was her imagination, but she felt that Martyn had never been that little.

Voices from the past few days echoed in her head. ‘He’s quite tiny for a boy!’ ‘Don’t worry, he will hopefully grow big and strong soon!’ Kath quite liked him for his size actually. Maybe he wouldn’t always be that way, but Kath wouldn’t mind if he stayed that way forever.

The topic of his size brings many more characteristics that people expected little Phil to have. Becoming friends with all the little boys in the neighborhood, aceing football and joining the school team, getting all the girls…

But the baby in Kath’s arms was a blank slate. The only characteristic besides his physical appearance was his name. Philip Michael Lester. Kath smiled slightly; she was proud of what she named him.

At that moment, Phil twitched around as if he was dreaming. His mouth was open slightly and his head rolled from side to side. His eyes fluttered open as he woke up and began to softly cry.

Kath ran a hand over his smooth head and softly hushed him. His electric blue eyes met hers. She wondered if he would keep those eyes into adulthood.

As she continued to stroke him, his crying slowed to a stop, but the eye contact did not break. Looking into his eyes, Kath felt as if she was looking into the future, and she could almost see him rapidly aging right before her eyes. She wondered once again what would be in store for him in his life. What his first word would be, how he and Martyn would get on, where he would go in life, who he would marry. As she considered all of it, staring deep into her child’s eyes, Kath had a feeling that she would really like Phil- that Phil would be special.

All of that made her head spin though, and she focused her mind in the present, which was the little baby in her arms. She smiled widely, hopeful for the future of her little son.

By the time Nigel had finished putting Martyn to bed, he found both of them fast asleep in the position that he last left them.

•

Despite his beginning reluctance, Phil had adjusted well to school. The first few days had been filled with tears and homesickness, but by now, Phil loved school with such passion that he had declared the weekend to be his least favorite days. He had good reason to. He had a wonderful teacher who seemed to appeal to a variety of both children and parent’s interest, Phil had formed a group to play with during recess, and Phil was getting better at reading, writing, and maths at a rapid speed.

But as the kids aged, so did their knowledge of negative feelings and emotions. It was a Tuesday in September when Phil first learned of unwarranted criticism and disrespect.

Kath walked down to the edge of their driveway and waited for the bus that Phil rode home. As she shivered slightly, Kath became worried that she hadn’t put Phil in long sleeves today.

A few minutes past before Kath spotted the bus making its way up the street, and she smiled, excited to hear Phil talk excitedly about what he learned in school that day

The bus slowed to a stop and opened its doors

Phil got out with a frown clad across his face.

Kath’s face fell. Phil never frowned when coming home from school.

He slowly walked towards her while the bus pulled away. Once he reached her, he wordlessly continued his walk inside. Kath walked up next to him.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Phil sniffed slightly

Kath stops him, kneels on the doorstep asked what’s wrong. Phil briefly glanced in the direction that the bus disappeared to and exhaled when he realised that it’s gone.

Phil had always been very specific with who he chose to share his emotions with, and Kath feels glad to have always been in that circle.

The first few sobs hit Phil as he turned to face her and she pulled him into a hug, holding tight to his tiny body while running her fingers through his blonde hair.

Kath felt her heart shriveling at the sound of her child in pain, and pain that she hadn’t been there to help him through.

“Do you want to go inside and have a snack? We can sit on the couch if you want,” Kath suggested.

Phil nodded into her side. With an arm around his shoulder, they both finished the journey inside together. Kath sat Phil down on the couch and got him his favorite flavor of applesauce and a purple spoon.

She let him get in a few bites before asking him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Phil just sniffled and buried his head into her stomach once again.

“Was it your teacher?” she suggested.

Phil shook his head no.

Kath began to suggest something else when Phil began to speak.

“It- It was two boys. Nate and.. Nate and Zach.”

Kath made an immediate mental note of their names. She would be having a stern talking to their mothers at the next school function.

“Nate and Zach,” she echoed, “What did Zach and Nate do?”

“They- they um- they started a football game and wanted me to play and- and when I said no they- they called me a sissy. And- and then, after snack Mrs. Kindle gave us our drawings back and they- they laughed at mine.”

Phil began to sniffle once again at this revelation and Kath pulled him into her chest once again and slowly rocked him back and forth.

They stayed that way for a bit. Kath kissing the same spot as her shirt dampened where Phil’s face was buried. She considered all the things that she could do for him at the moment. All the things that the parent books had recommended. Distract him from the problem, discuss ways he could solve his problem with the other kids, take him to the teacher to discuss the problem… It all made her head spin, so Kath just went with the first thing on her mind.

“Can I see your drawing?”

Phil shook his head.

Kath prompted him in a soft and slow voice,

“Are you sure, sweetie? I really want to see it.”

Phil seemed to finally agree. He slowly lifted his head, reached to unzip his backpack, revealed a piece of paper from its interior, and reluctantly handed it to his mum.

Kath took the paper from him and examined it.

Being a child, Phil’s art skills wouldn’t be considered brilliant by many. It was hard to make out that it was a dog, but Kath immediately noticed one thing on the picture. The dog’s face was clad with the widest smile that she had ever seen. A happy dog. It warmed her heart to the point where she couldn’t restrain a matching smile.

“I think that Nate and Zach don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s a wonderful dog.”

Phil looked at her, doubt clouding his eyes.

“Don’t pay any attention to them Phil. You did an amazing job, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.”

Phil smiled a little bit at the compliment.

“How about we get some magnets and hang it up on the refrigerator?” Kath asked.

Phil inhaled deeply and slowly nodded.

As Kath led him to the kitchen, she pondered her quality of parenting. What would Phil gain out of this experience- if anything? Should she have taught him to stick up for himself? Or to report bad behavior to authority? Perhaps…

But as Phil hung his drawing up with a wide smile, Kath believed that Phil had learned a valuable skill that day.

To never let anyone’s insults get the best of him.

And she believed that he would follow through.

•

It was a crisp fall day. The cool summer wind was beginning to have a bite to it. Phil was out playing with some of the neighborhood kids, a common occurrence these days. Though Phil wasn’t exactly ‘popular’, he always seemed to be surrounded by friends. They’d cause him to be out all weekend, spend hours chatting on the computer, and rush outside after school before he could hear Kath yell at him to wear a coat.

Today had been a busy and stressful day for Kath, and she felt as if her entire family had abandoned her as she made dinner alone.

Nigel had ran off with work friends. Though he’d briefly returned home, after he grabbed a new set of clothes and placed a quick kiss on her forehead, he vanished.

Martyn was off at work, which seemed to be consuming the small amount of free time that he once set aside for family.

And Phil… to be honest Kath wasn’t entirely sure where Phil was. She hardly was these days. He had taken a sudden interest to these film project things. With the help of his friends, he would pour his heart, souls, and mind into them.

Though the Lester house had often been the center of meeting and planning, the kids rarely filmed inside and they would be off before she knew it with hardly a goodbye to alert her.

They usually stayed out for a while, but it had been a while since the time of Phil’s usual return. Kath thought about it more and started to worry about Phil, as the autumn nights were not as forgiving as the days. In addition, she had a hunch that Phil hadn’t put on a jacket as he left like she had told him to. Kath’s eyes drifted to her watch. 7:57. Dear lord, where was that child?

She sighed and looked at the leftovers she had warming on the stove, ready for her son’s return.

At 8:02, she began to pace.

What if he had gotten lost, or he had gotten hurt? She had heard news of children being kidnapped in the news. What if Phil had been…

No, she couldn’t even bear to imagine it.

It was 8:08 when Kath heard the sound of the door opening followed by Phil’s cry of ‘Mum, I’m home!’

Frankly, Kath didn’t know whether to be upset or relieved. But as a mother, her first emotion was a wave of relief.

Phil came into the kichten- as she suspected: coatless, and with a pale face and dust all over his clothes- but with no sight of injury.

“Phil where have you been? Have you seen the time? I was about to call someone for you. It’s almost dark!”

Phil hung his head.

“I’m sorry mum, but we needed the perfect lighting! Ben’s mum knew that we were there…”

“Well I didn’t. Phil, you didn’t even ask permission! I hope that you have all your homework done…”

In an instant, Phil’s eyes darted away from his mother.

Kath felt fury bubble inside her.

“How much?”

Phil’s voice suddenly got very high and small,

“Just er… just a few maths problems on a worksheet, and this reading thing… everything else isn’t due till later though…”

God, what had that boy been thinking? Had she taught him no responsibility?

“Philip Michael Lester, you know the rules, and you disobeyed them! Now I want you to go to your room immediately and start on your homework. You can have your dinner when you’re finished.”

Phil’s cerulean eyes found her’s with a sudden desperation and shock.

“But I..”

“You should’ve thought about that before coming home late, GO!”

Phil quickly turned and did a fast walk away and up the stairs.

Kath groaned and rubbed her forehead. Despite his need for it, Kath hated scolding Phil. He was never malicious in intent and always good-hearted, but sometimes that boy just didn’t think.

By the time Nigel came home, Kath was near passed out on the couch, watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire and muttering the answers to the questions.

“Hello, Love,” he greeted, followed by a kiss, longer than the one he had left her upon going out. She gave him a weak smile and expression riddled with exhaustion.

“Where are the children?” he asked.

“Martyn just called and said that his manager kept him late to clean up a birthday party mess. He’ll be home in a few minutes and he said that he already ate.”

“Alright, has Phil had dinner then?”

Kath stretched and prepared to answer yes when she suddenly remembered her previous encounter with her youngest.

She looked at her watch- 9:56.

“Oh dear, he hasn’t. I scolded him earlier for coming home late, and he’s been doing homework since. I should get him his supper…”

Regret started to prick at Kath’s sides. What was she thinking? That poor boy must be starving by now.

With a sudden rush of energy, she hurried to get Phil’s dinner for him, along with a drink and some of his favorite crisps. Carefully balanced the dishes in her arms, she made her way up the stairs.

She was nearing the top when she heard a weak noise coming from Phil’s room and she paused. It wasn’t a video game or a voice, but a soft whimpering.

“Phil?” she called softly.

No response. She continued to his door, knocked, and slowly pushed it open when there was no response.

Phil was slumped on his desk, his maths book open and his head down in between the pages, sobbing quietly.

The prickles of guilt in Kath intensified. Had she done this to her son?

“Phil? Are you okay?”

Phil slowly lifted his head to look at his mother with red eyes and began to let his words spill out.

“It’s- It’s just I- I can’t figure out this pr-problem. School has gotten too hard and- and I just want to go back to last year when I- I liked my teachers and didn’t ha-have all this work. I-I don’t want to go to secondary school..”

By this point, Kath had already wrapped her arms around Phil. She let him bury his face in her arms and just sob again. She should’ve been there for him, over the past month she had felt that he had been struggling with homework.

“Hey hey, it’s okay. I can help you, yeah?”

Phil sniffed back snot and nodded, but after a passing moment broke down into Kath’s arms again. Kath was a tad worried, it had been a long while since Phil had let her see him cry like this.

“Why don’t you take a break? Let’s go to the bed. You can eat your dinner there, just this once.” She smiled at Phil, hopeful that he would return it, but what he showed her was fake and weak.

Phil got up, his fingers tracing over the unanswered math problems, and his bloodshot eyes running up and down the paper before going to his bed and letting his body fall on its side.

Kath sat down next to him and ran her hand over his side several times, and having it eventually end up wiping the tears off of his face.

“Tell me what’s wrong, sweetie,” she whispered.

Phil inhaled, his breath trembling and began.

“It’s just.. Everything. Everything seems different than last year. All my friends are in other classes, and when I see them after school they all seem to have met other people… and Steve just got a girlfriend, and I- I thought that no one would date till we were older but now everyone is and I just- I don’t want a girlfriend right now. And on top of all that the work is so much harder now and every night they give us more and more homework and-and how can they expect us to have fun and be children with all- all this work it’s crazy. I just…”

A sob wracked Phil’s body, and Kath laid down next to him and pulled him closer to her, hushing him softly as she rocked his body, which was still small as he hadn’t quite begun puberty yet. Part of her wished that he would never grow, and that she could send him back a year or so.

But children only grow one way, and he would soon be growing and changing his mind about dating and wanting to leave the house… Kath pulled her son even closer to her body and kissed his forehead.

“It’ll get better, Phil. I promise that it’ll get better from here. You have your whole life ahead of you. So many places to go, things to do, people to meet… you have so much more than everything before today. And it will get harder, but you can still be you. If you don’t want a girlfriend, then don’t get one! And for homework, maybe you could go see a tutor or ask your teacher questions. I know that you’re much more shy than here or with your friends, but they will help you, they want you to succeed. As for your friends, you still see them almost every day, and you could possibly find some others this year. Itll all be okay, Phil. It’ll all work out in the end.”

“But I- It’s just so hard at school and I don’t know if I can do it.”

“You can do it. You’ve gotten through so much so far, and you’ve got me, Dad, and all your friends and teachers. You’re smarter and stronger than you realize.”

Phil’s eyes met hers, still trembling but with a certainty glazed over them.

“You think so?”

Kath smiled.

“I know so.”

Phil pulled away slightly, his eyes meeting hers, looking slightly less red than before. He opened his mouth to speak, but then decided against it and fell into a hug with his mom.

Kath returned the hug tightly, and at that moment wished for happiness for her son. She wished that his happiness would come quick and beautiful, and remain with him till his dying breath. But until then, she would hug and comfort him. For the rest of the evening, for the rest of the night, and until he found peace. But the stillness and silence of the present moment made a sweet, artificial peace for that moment.

“Mum?” Phil’s voice was quiet.

“Yes?”

“Promise you won’t tell Martyn about this?”

Kath smiled at the comment, but answered seriously, “Of course.”

She wouldn’t tell him that only two nights ago she had promised Martyn the same thing after he had a breakup.

•

Phil had never been too successful with relationships. Or keeping them at least. Kath never saw enough of the details to know the difference.

Despite now having only one son in the house, Kath sometimes felt like she was more distant from Phil than ever.

He was always with friends, always on the Internet chat room. The latest technology that Kath understood was their somewhat new television set, the internet was still confusing to her.

The only snapshots of Phil’s life that she got was the parts that got sent home from school, and the occasional information that he would share with her.

The television was on and Katherine Lester was the only one currently watching it, and she honestly didn’t even know what she was watching. Nigel was out working on the garden. She would be out there too if the sun wasn’t barely floating above the horizon and her hip didn’t ache.

But in addition, a little part of her was hoping that Phil would come downstairs and talk to her. He usually came down in the evenings, but these past few days he always scarfed down his supper and practically ran to the computer. Maybe Kath could ask him what he was even doing on the computer that was more important than his mother.

If he ever came down.

Kath sighed and attempted to pay attention to the television program. The channel that occasionally played Buffy was on, but it was some other drama that was currently playing. She would watch Buffy with her son, she didn’t have an obsession that was anything like his, but she did enjoy it. Having no interest in the show currently on, she flipped to the news.

It wasn’t more than ten minutes before she heard the familiar creak of the stairs and her head spun around. A figure cloaked in a dark hoodie slipped from the stairwell and into the kitchen.

Kath couldn’t help but smile at her intuition, she knew Phil’s appetite, and when he had hardly touched his dinner she knew that he’d eventually be down for more, so she had left it in the microwave. But the object in the returning figure’s hand wasn’t a plate, but a rather large container of ice cream. Suspicion flickered in Kath’s eyes.

“Phil?” she called.

The footsteps stopped and there was a pause before a weak ‘yes?’ was uttered.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” she asked.

Phil was quiet.

Something was wrong.

“Phil?” Kath said quietly.

A quiet snuffle preceded his response. “It’s-It’s nothing..”

His voice cracked slightly on the end.

“Do you want to come over here?” Kath asked, then quickly added, “You don’t have to talk about it.”

Phil swayed in spot slightly, then nodded and walked over to Kath.

She held open her arms and Phil let himself cuddle into them, surprising Kath at how willingly he had submitted to her love, something that he hadn’t really done in years. It was more difficult than it had once been, as puberty had left Phil towering over her and frankly, a good part of the population.

Just when she was about to prompt him, Phil just burst into tears. Not just a few tears running down his face, not just a bit of quiet sobs like at the end of a sad movie, heartbreak tears.

Pain rose in her chest at seeing her son like this. She had always believed that heartbreak was a part of life, and that her son was no exception to this. But seeing the expression of pain on his face was almost too much to bear.

She almost let herself run her fingers through Phil’s hair, but she remembered the amount of time he spent gel-ing it and held herself back. She didn’t want to make him more angry. Instead she ran her hand up and down his arm, pressing enough so that he could feel it through his thick hoodie.

It was several minutes before Phil spoke.

“It’s over,” he whispered in a horse voice.

Though much more context wasn’t needed to make a guess on what Phil was referring to, Kath decided not to assume.

“What is, sweetie?”

“Hailey and I. Almost- almost four months and it’s just- it’s just over.”

Pity filled her heart. Hailey had been Phil’s longest going relationship. Unlike many others, Kath had actually met Hailey several times. She didn’t like Hailey as much as many of Phil’s close friends, but she wasn’t a bad kid. Until she hurt her son like this.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Phil shook his head into her stomach.

She decided to let her son just cry, as there wasn’t too much else that she could do right now to help. Just let him know that he is loved. Being a teenager who had been rejected several times and didn’t always have the self esteem that he was so good at faking, he might not believe her. But she would never give up her effort to show him her love, nonetheless.

She kissed his forehead softly and continued her rubbing of his arm. His sobs were slowly lessening as they turned into shaky breaths. And to Kath’s surprise, he began to talk.

“I really think I loved her. And I thought she loved me. But for the past month or so she’s been avoiding me, and tonight I finally got the courage to confront her and she tells me that she’s fallen for.. for someone else. And she doesn’t even want to be friends anymore. I just- just don’t know what I did wrong.”

He paused to let a sob out.

“I don’t understand why it never works and they never like me. I give them attention but not too much, and I get them gifts but don’t expect anything back, I tell them I love them when I mean it…”

Phil had reached the point where he couldn’t continue anymore and just began to sob into Kath again.

Kath considered what say to him. This hadn’t been the first time that they had had this conversation, and Kath has usually told him the same thing. The whole ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ conversation. However, this time things seemed different. After a long line of unsuccessful ones followed by a long one that he favored, it no longer seemed that one was comforting enough. Kath sighed as she ran a hand through Phil’s hair, forgetting about Phil’s hair styling yet Phil didn’t seem to care.

“You know how old I was when I met your father?” Kath asked. She answered herself.

“I was twenty six. I had graduated university several years before, most of my friends had already been married, and there had been many men before that I had considered marrying, just to have that someone. But my friends helped me to realize that rushing into a relationship wouldn’t bring the trust and love that waiting for the perfect one. Hailey was nice, but she wasn’t perfect for you. And someday you’ll meet someone who is.”

“But- why does it have to hurt so much?” Phil asked in between sobs.

“It’s not fair, and I wish it didn’t have to happen to you, but the experience will prepare you for when you someday meet the perfect person. That’s the downside of love, there’s always a sacrifice. It’s up to you to decide if you think it’s worth it at the moment. You can always take a break from dating and focus on school, friends, and taking care of yourself.”

She went over her words in her head, checking that she hadn’t used exclusively female pronouns. Almost a year ago, Phil had revealed his sexuality by shouting across the house that he would be going out with his boyfriend. Kath couldn’t have predicted it, but the idea hadn’t taken too long for her to comprehend. Though every now and then she would mess up on assumptions of Phil’s future partners.

Phil thought once again, probably making sure that he said the right words for the moment.

“I’m not giving up,” he said, “I never will. But right now, I think I’ll take a break from searching for people on the chat rooms and just have some fun.”

Kath kissed his forehead.

“You don’t have to take my advice if you don’t want to.”

Phil looked up at her.

“True, but I wouldn’t have come downstairs if I didn’t.”

Kath smiled at him and he returned the gesture. After a brief moment, Phil laid his head back down, taking in the comforting scent of his mother.

Kath’s eyes caught the DVD remote, and she gently took hold of it, attempting to not disturb her son. Knowing the disc that lay in the player, she hit play.

Phil’s head shifted as Buffy’s familiar voice filled the room and another smile grew over his face.

Kath didn’t like that her son was hurting over love, something that he desired so deeply. His love for family and love itself shone through his appreciation for his family and little cousins. Everyone in the family knew it from the way the kids’ eyes lit up when they saw him: Phil would make a good husband and a good father.

But that day was far away from this one. As of right now, Phil could just be her son that needed a mother’s comfort.

•

There was no doubt that Phil was an adult now. A young adult, still figuring out taxes and money, but an adult nonetheless.

He had gone to uni, found a passion and career, and moved in with someone; Kath was now merely a background character in his life. Someone to visit on the holidays and call every now and then.

Though it was now a part of the year where Phil would usually see her two times with only a month between.

Kath was sitting in the living room, the tv was on but she wasn’t watching. Rather, she was watching out the window, looking to see if any snow would fall from the sky to welcome Phil home. Maybe he would stay longer if it snowed.

Her mind drifted to the snowiest day ever when he brought Dan over. They had made cookies that night together, Dan had stayed up to help her decorate the whole batch.

Kath’s phone snapped her out of her thoughts. Just as she had been getting used to her flip phone, Martyn and Phil had insisted that she couldn’t live in the modern world without an Apple Phone. Frankly, with all its apps and options and huge price tag, she was still afraid of it. At least she could understand how to read the message from Phil that was apparent in the screen.

“Great! Boarding the train now, can’t wait to see you”

Kath smiled. She texted back,

“Can’t wait to see you two!”

Though it wasn’t the same as him living in the house, she loved him coming over with Dan. As Dan had gone from the mysterious internet boy to Phil’s partner in all aspects of life, Kath had fallen in love with him. He had been with Phil longer than any of the others had and had the ability to make Phil giggle like he was the little blonde boy in Kath’s arms again. Kath definitely liked Dan, even though his and Phil’s career had stolen them from her. London was far, but that’s why they had days like today.

Her phone beeped again. She still jumped, but a bit less this time.

“Dan’s not coming this time around.”

Kath’s heart sunk and shuddered at the same time.

Was everything okay between them?

She began to text out the question but then deleted it. This wasn’t a conversation to have over text.

“Okay.” She replied, and set her phone down.

Her hand came up to her temple in frustration. When had been the last time she saw Phil with Dan?

Now that she thought about it, it had been a while. November? October? Sometime in the autumn they had come up for a weekend. They both seemed fine then, maybe a little quiet, but they didn’t seem like they didn’t want to be there. Maybe she just hadn’t noticed something.

But Kath stopped herself before her head could twist together more stories, she was making assumptions. She could be completely wrong. Sweet, warm scents from the kitchen caught her nose at that moment and she decided that it was time to check on Phil’s cake.

It was a few hours later when Phil came arrived.

Kath left the kitchen at the feeling of the cold air and the the sound of her son’s voice greeting her following the opening of the door.

Turning the corner, she saw him standing there, dressed in black winter wear that matched his black hair that was shorter than the last time that she saw him. He didn’t look upset or sad, he was happy to be there. But his eyes were slightly glazed over as if he wasn’t fully in the moment.

“Hello Mum,” he said, almost sighing.

She smiled and held out her arms to hug him. He returned her smile as well as her hug. His jacket was almost cold enough to make her jump back. Did they even heat those trains anymore?

“Oh dear, Phil, go by the fire you’re freezing!”

Phil smiled down at her and chuckled a bit before nodding.

He began to strip off his coat and Kath offered to hang it in the closet. As Phil wistfully walked over to the fire, Kath noticed the door was still hanging open and went to close it. She found herself gazing down the driveway, half expecting another tall figure with a fringe to appear. Her heart hurt a bit, Dan should be with them.

When she turned back to Phil, he was sitting on the couch, watching the tv with the same glazed eyes. There had to be something on his mind.

Kath cleared her throat and Phil’s eyes met hers.

“Happy Birthday, by the way. How was the trip here?” She asked.

“It was good. Fine,” Phil replied.

His eyes left hers. She almost never saw him this quiet on his birthday. She knew she should probably mention something else but she couldn’t resist it. “Pity Dan couldn’t be here.”

Phil looked confused for a second before replying.

“Yeah, yeah. He had to edit a video, so he couldn’t make it.”

Phil was a bad liar. At least to Kath. He could never keep eye contact while telling her a lie. She gave him something he had once referred to before as the ‘mum stare’, but he was still avoiding eye contact.

But it was that moment when Nigel walked in, wished Phil a happy birthday and reached out to hug his son. The conversation was dropped.

About an hour later, family and friends began to arrive.

Phil had pushed for a small party, but Kath had insisted that some of his favorite people come. It was still a small party, but not small enough where they would be left with cake for weeks.

And Phil did seem happy, but his usual bright smile was missing. Kath suspected that the fact that his usual companion was missing had to do with it.

Most of the party was spent catching up. While everyone wanted to wish the birthday boy well, everyone eventually gravitated to separate groups. Kath had selfishly invited some of the parents of Phil’s school friends over to talk to, and while the young adults talked in the living room, they laughed and reminisced in the kitchen. Some still had kids in the house, but some had been alone for years. But they all seemed to find something to talk about.

When Kath called the kids in for cake, most had smiles, but there was a slight distance between each of them, as if they were from entirely different worlds now. Leaving the house seemed to do that.

Kath remembered previous years when Dan would be standing behind Phil as he blew out the candles, his cheering cut short as Phil pulled him into a brief kiss. A bit of a Lester tradition that Phil had first observed behind cracked fingers as his parents kissed on their respective birthdays. Kath wondered what Phil was thinking this year as he blew out his candles and had to stop himself from turning around.

Before long, people began to filter out, Phil cheerfully bidding them farewell. Her son was so good at burying emotions.

Once the last person had left, Kath found him sprawled over the couch as if he hadn’t rested in weeks.

She heard a familiar chuckling behind her and turned to see her husband laughing at the same sight.

“You look beat!”

Phil nodded.

“I know how you feel, son. I’m going to head off to bed if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Phil replied. “Goodnight, Dad.”

“Happy Birthday, Phil,” he said with a grin, before turning to kiss Kath and disappear.

Once he was gone, Kath sighed and said,

“As he gets older, interaction wears him out more. We haven’t had that many people in the house in a while.”

Phil just nodded.

There were a few beats of silence.

“So have things been? Is the radio show going well?” Kath asked.

“Yeah. Busy, but busy is good,” said Phil.

“YouTube going well, too?”

“Yeah. More and more people watching every day, actually. Dan- um, Dan’s almost got a million subscribers actually.”

At the mention of Dan’s name he seemed to tense up a bit.

“Really? That’s amazing!” Kath exclaimed.

Phil smiled slightly and nodded.

“How is he doing?”

Phil’s smile faded.

“I- er- well… he’s been alright, but lately he’s been a bit off, to be honest.”

Kath’s heart increased.

“Off?”

Phil nodded.

“Yes. He can’t seem to get himself to do videos on time, he lies alone for days on end, leaves without telling me and without his phone… and then there’s the outbursts.”

“What sort of outbursts?”

Phil’s face scrunched as if he was in pain.

“He yells at me for the littlest things, refuses to talk to me, threatens…”

Phil’s voice broke and a sob escaped him.

“He threatened to leave me! And I know he didn’t mean it but he might’ve and I don’t know what’s wrong with him but I can’t let him do this alone. I can’t.. I can’t..”

Kath hurried over to Phil to hug him as full out sobs escaped his body. He wrapped his arms around her tightly as the sobs shook him. Kath ran her fingers through his hair and slowly rocked him back and forth.

“It’ll be okay, Phil,” she whispered.

“But what if it isn’t?” he protested.

“If Dan breaks up with you, I know you can still find happiness. But I don’t think he is going to leave you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way you make him laugh. He loves you, Phil. He is just a bit lost right now.”

Phil’s grip on Kath began to subside with his sobs. He pulled away, wiping his tears, and made eye contact with his mother.

“But what should I do?”

Kath pondered the question.

“I’m not sure there’s much that you can do besides being patient with him. He needs to seek out a way to help himself, he can’t be forced.”

Phil laughed through his tears.

“Dan is so damn stubborn, though.”

Kath returned the laugh.

“Just like your father. Trust me, you can make him listen to you. You have already made thousands of strangers around the world listen to you, Dan shouldn’t be any different.”

Phil sniffled once more and then wiped his face.

“I love you, mum. I’m sorry I don’t tell you that enough.”

Kath felt tears pricking her eyes and pulled him into a hug.

“You’ll be okay,” she told him.

“You both will.”

•

Everything had already been falling right into place when Kath got the call.

Even with both of her children out of the house, she still saw them both as much as she could. And her boys were both thriving. Martyn had even gotten married the year prior.

But Phil, he was just radiating.

He and Dan had so much success as well as happiness.

The book release, the end of the show (both of them), the adoption of their dog; the happiness for her son was never ending.

Everything was just warm and happy.

And then the call came.

Phil was in the hospital.

The black cab pulled up to the country house just outside of Manchester. As it was February, there were no plants growing and there was no sun shining. Yet winter somehow looked good on the house. The powdery snow and hanging ice coating the house was much too beautiful for the grim situation at hand.

Kath remembered Phil texting her pictures of the cottage. ‘A perfect place for a little vacation,’ he had told her. It was beyond her why they would take a vacation in one of the most miserable months to a Northern city when they had the money to go somewhere nice, but they seemed to be having fun, so Kath didn’t ask questions.

It wasn’t a bad idea. The house was close enough to the city to easily go out, but far enough for peaceful nights. Peaceful nights, it seemed, were the couple’s new favorite kind of night. It humored her how much they had changed from the adventurous young couple they had once been. Age was beginning to get to them.

She opened the car door and got out, reaching behind her to pick up the peonies that she had gotten for Dan. They had originally been for Phil, but as he was unconscious, he couldn’t appreciate them too well. He would be fine once he woke up, Kath was sure of it. But Dan needed the gesture. It was weird to bring flowers to someone for well wishes of her own son, but she knew that it would be appreciated by Dan.

As she looked to her left, Nigel caught her eye. They gave each other a gaze of solemn reassurance before turning their attention to the door. Kath’s grip tightened around the flowers as they walked up to the entrance. The petals tickled her nose.

They stopped at the top of the final step and Nigel leaned forward slightly to ring the doorbell.

A muffled barking replied to the noise as they waited. The door handle buckled and the door swung open. Kath found herself looking up at a familiar face. Standing in the doorframe was Daniel Howell, his head merely centimeters from the top. He was without the usual air of happiness that he had radiated in recent years. As he spoke, even the wind seemed to soften so to listen.

“Hey guys, thanks for coming. Come on in.”

Kath smiled sympathetically and held out the flowers in his direction. He looked at them as if they were a foreign object for a moment, then the confusion left his focus and he gently took them and said thank you. She almost pulled him into a hug, but he gestured for them to follow him inside and began to retreat back into the house.

He shut the door behind them once they had entered and politely asked if they wished to hang up their coats and hung them up nicely when they said yes. Though Phil had often said it was all an act, Kath genuinely believed that Dan was one of the politest people that she had met of the younger generation.

As they moved into the living room, Kath observed Phil and Dan’s dog watching them curiously from the corner. She didn’t seem to remember Kath very well, which was understandable as Kath hadn’t seen her in person many times. The second thing that caught her eye was Dan’s frantic movements to clean the sofa so they could sit down. As he threw things into the trash, Kath noticed the amount of tissues that resided there. Just as they were sitting down, Dan immediately ran into the kitchen, muttering something about serving guests and guacamole. Nigel’s look caught Kath, conveying the exact thought on he mind: this poor man is a mess.

He returned a moment later looking slightly more put together and was carrying a tray of crisps and guacamole.

“Phil and I made this the evening before last,” he said as he placed it on the table, his hand shaking slightly.

“I guess we should finish it while we can,” he finished.

Kath rested her hand over his and his surprised eyes met hers.

“Thank you, Dan. It means a lot to us,” she said.

Dan smiled softly for a moment before pulling back.

“Thank you for coming. I know you probably would’ve come anyway for him, but thank you for seeing me.” He gave another small smile and sat in the chair opposite them.

Kath picked up a chip and Nigel followed suit. After scooping some guacamole, she ate the small chip in a single bite, Dan watching her carefully as he waited for a reaction.

Maybe it wasn’t the best guacamole, but it was worlds better than the stale airline food that had kept her fed for the last few hours. She smiled as she swallowed.

“We should put you down for guacamole for next summer,” Nigel commented.

Dan’s face went a bit rosy as he smiled.

“Thank you, but Phil made most of it. I just helped.”

“Well you and Phil did great. He never used to cook anything special before you,” Kath commented.

“I never really did before him, either. I didn’t even know how to make pasta. It was bad,” Dan replied, a slight smile appearing on his face.

They all laughed a bit. But it was only a for a moment before the melancholy mood set back over the room.

“Have you seen him today?” Nigel asked.

Kath bit her tongue. She knew they had to talk about it eventually, but she was hoping that time would never come.

Dan nodded.

“I spent the whole first night with him, but I had to come back for Molly. She’s spent nights alone before, but never really more than that and I couldn’t get anyone to watch her on such short notice. I came back midday Saturday and they told me he’d be in surgery until early today. I came back and waited for about five hours but then they told me he couldn’t have any visitors until tonight.”

Dan ran his hands through his curls in frustration.

“They never told you that he needed surgery?” Kath questioned.

Dan shook his head sadly.

“They said that they’re not legally required to because I’m not a family member.”

Kath found herself staring at Dan’s bare ring finger. ‘Soon,’ Phil had told her just a few months prior at Christmas. He had even showed her the ring. She had been genuinely ecstatic. After years of hearing that Dan was the one, Kath had been beginning to wonder if they were just uninterested in marriage. Call her traditional, but Kath would give anything to see her youngest get married. And for Dan to be her legal son-in-law.

“They should’ve at least given you a call,” Nigel said.

Dan sighed sadly.

“At least I can see him tonight.”

He stood up suddenly and clapped his hands onto his legs.

“I reckon I should probably show you to your room? You can get unpacked and then call an Uber and go to the hospital.”

Kath and Nigel simultaneously stood up.

“Sounds good,” Kath said, smiling softly at Dan.

He returned it briefly before turning away.

“I should probably warn you, he doesn’t look very good.”

They were alone in the hospital elevator, going slowly up the the head injury ward. Kath was hoping that Phil would be conscious, but Dan was just hoping that he could see him.

“We’ll be okay. We’ve seen him pretty bad before,” Kath replied.

Dan opened his mouth to say an additional thing, but the elevator doors opened in that moment and he closed his mouth.

The small group shuffled up together to the lady who was behind the front desk. She looked to be one sip of coffee away from sleep, as she could hardly keep her head up for shuffling through her paperwork. Upon hearing their distant footsteps, she straightened her back and turned to greet them. Because of the way her smile widened when she set her eyes on Dan, Kath suspected that they had already been acquainted previously during his previous attempts to see Phil.

“Hello! Are you here to see Phil Lester again?” She asked cheerfully.

“Yes. Also, these are his parents, would it be alright if they come as well?” Asked Dan.

“Of course, sweetie! Doctor Irving may want to see an ID, but I’m sure it’ll be fine!”

Kath held back a smile at the comment. Dan, who was over six feet tall and almost thirty years old being called sweetie by the tiny nurse was humorous to her. By the slight clenching of Dan’ jaw muscles, Kath could tell Dan was not in the mood for pet names.

“Okay, thank you,” he said politely but stiffly.

They walked to the nearly empty waiting area and sat down near the corner. It was oddly quiet between them for about a minute. Kath made conversation to save them from the ‘what if’s’ buzzing around their heads.

“Has she been the one to take you to Phil before?” Kath asked.

Dan nodded, keeping his eyes on the tiled floor.

“Yeah. She’s been nice to me.”

“Sweetie?” Kath brought up in a small voice. She saw Nigel smile as Dan lifted his focus to Kath and shake his head with a smile.

“Don’t tell Phil. He’ll tease me about it for weeks!”

“Does this happen often?” she asked, amused.

“Constantly. Phil thinks it’s because I have a ‘baby face’.But I think he’s just jealous of the attention.”

Kath wanted to respect the few other waiting families, but she couldn’t hold in her laugher anymore.

“Though I know how much he loves to tease you, he has a point,” she replied.

Dan gasped dramatically.

“No I do NOT!” His voice squeaked slightly on the end.

Kath felt her body shake with laughter, and she could see Dan reacting in a similar matter. It wasn’t often she had interactions like this with Dan, but as time went on, he felt more and more like a son as he opened up to her.

“Katherine…”

Nigel’s soft voice interrupted her laughter and she noticed a doctor approaching them.

“Mr. and Mrs. Lester, I presume?”

The serious voice in the nearly empty waiting room killed the banter instantly. Nigel, who had been sitting quietly through all the banter, first stood up to face him.

“Yes?”

“I’m head of the cranial injury department, and in charge of your son’s recovery,” said the doctor.

Nigel reached out to shake his hand and Kath stood up to do the same, but the man pointed at his other hand which was covered in a blue glove. Kath guessed she and her husband were sanitary hazards.

“How is he?” Kath asked.

“He is conscious, but sleeping. I’d prefer if you didn’t wake him,” he replied.

He gestured for them to follow him and began to walk down one of the empty halls.

“How long till he is discharged?” Dan asked.

“It’s hard to say. It could be a day or two, it could be a few weeks. We’ll see how his scan looks after it comes back.”

Kath heard Dan give a small sigh of frustration.

Doctor Irving paused at a door and took a ring of keys out of his pocket.

“You’ll need to put on hand sanitizer before you go in,” he said as he opened the door. He backed into it and gestured for them to go in, and Kath went into the darkened room.

But as she was entering, she heard a voice behind her.

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid you can’t go in.”

“Wait, sorry? I- I’m his- they let me in on Friday, I was the one who brought him in! We’ve lived together for almost a decade!”

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

She turned around and went back to the doorway.

“Excuse me, Doctor. This man is my son’s partner and is a part of our family. Would you please let him in?”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Lester. Immediate family only.”

She opened her mouth to say something but Dan waved her off.

“It’s fine. I’ll meet you guys back at the house.”

“Dan-”

“It’s okay. I’m sure he’s fine. I’ll see you later.”

Before she could get in another word he was retreating quickly to the elevator.

Phil hadn’t actually looked too bad. Pretty swelled and bruised, but in his sleep he just looked peaceful. It had felt wrong seeing him without Dan. While Phil is her son, she knows Dan loved Phil just as much as she did.

There was no need to stay long, as Phil desperately needed his sleep. They thanked the doctor, and walked back to the elevator while trying to remember how to call an Uber. Luckily, being in a big city meant that there was a surplus of Uber drivers. By the time the winter air bit at their faces, their car was already in front of them.

Soft jazz floated through the car during the lethargic drive back. The car was much warmer than the hospital and seemed to calm Kath down and even make her sleep. It would all be okay. Phil would be out before they knew it. She could watch some program with Dan tonight and talk with him.

The house still looked like a winter dream, but the darkness and few distant street lamps gave it a more ominous feel.

Nigel unlocked the door with the key Dan had provided them and held the door open for Kath.

“Dan?” Nigel called.

The response was a pitter patter of paws and barking as Molly ran up to greet them.

But no Dan.

“Hello?” Kath called. There was no response.

“He might be asleep in the bedroom,” Nigel suggested.

“He might not though,” Kath let out a worried sigh. “I think that I should give him a call.”

Nigel nodded in agreement and left Kath to call while he checked the bedroom. Unfortunately, the only response she got was Nigel holding a ringing phone that Dan had left in the bathroom.

Kath turned off her phone and ran a hand through her hair.

“What should we do Nigel?” she asked.

He sighed.

“I suppose there’s nothing to do but wait. He should be coming back any minute now.”

So they decided to wait. An hour passed and then two and then three and Kath began to worry more and more. All of the ‘what if’s’ rolled around in her head to the point where she couldn’t bear it anymore and decided to look for Dan. Frankly, she didn’t know where to start. Manchester was a ginormous city that could hide anything. But she had to try.

Kath went to get her coat and noticed that Dan’s was still hanging up on the hook next to her’s. She took a large handbag and put Dan’s hat and coat inside. If he wasn’t found soon he could get pneumonia and end up in a hospital bed right next to her son.

With additional ease due to practice, she called an Uber and made a list of places in Manchester that she knew had significance to Dan.

The list was nearing fifteen locations when the car pulled up. Immediately after opening the door, she pulled out a wad of cash for the driver.

“It’s going to be a long ride.”

They went everywhere.

The Manchester apartment, the previous location of the Eye, Piccadilly train station and the Starbucks close by, all the bars the went to, all the bars they didn’t. In the rides in between she would try to recall friends Dan and Phil had that lived In Manchester. The few that she could remember and contact didn’t have any idea to his location. Thankfully, the driver was incredibly patient with her and even made suggestions.

It was after her ninth bar when she considered the fact that Dan may have gone up to her old house. Or rather Phil’s childhood home and his second home until he and Phil got their own place. But because her payment to the driver had ran dry, she would have to take the bus.

It had been a long while since she had been back up to the old house. While selling had been hard for her, it had been partially her decision. Her children were gone, her life had moved on, and the house was just too big now.

As the bus began to climb the hills that had tucked away her past home, a few stray snowflakes started to fall from the sky. It seemed with every passion streetlight, more and more appeared under the brief window of visibility. By the time the bus pulled up to her stop, it was a full on snowstorm.

Kath’s gloved fingers closed carefully around her bag containing Dan’s coat. While she hoped he would be waiting at the stop, a part of her just wished that Dan would’ve already come back to the house without her knowledge. She’d rather see him tucked away in his warm bed than freezing to death at the bus stop. The driver opened the doors and Kath stood up and began to walk down the rows of empty seats. As she turned to descend the steps, she noticed that she was alone with the driver. She turned around quickly before exiting.

“I’m looking for someone, would it be alright if you gave me a moment?”

“I’m sorry but I’ve got to get back by 1:00,” the driver replied.

“Okay. You can go ahead, I’ll just catch the next one.”

She stepped off the bus into the dark, cold exterior and for a brief moment almost regretted it. Exhaling, she began to mentally prepare herself when she heard a faint voice on the wind.

“Wait!” She called to the bus driver, swinging her head frantically around, but he was still smiling at her calmly through the still open door.

“Wait!”

This time the voice wasn’t hers.

Kath’s heartbeat picked up as she saw a tall figure running towards her in the snowy darkness. Dan was doing a mix between a fast walk and a run towards her, his hands wrapped tightly around his stomach and shaking violently.

“Dan..” she said softly, the warm air from her mouth clouding into the winter air.

He didn’t stop running even as he got closer and closer. As he reached the domain of the lonely street lamp, Kath ran to him and threw her arms around him as soon as they could make contact. His fragile body tensed on the impact, but soon released into the embrace.

“Oh, my dear, you’re shaking! Where have you been?”

Kath didn’t wait for a response to fish Dan’s jacket out of her bag and start to walk Dan into the warm bus.

“I… I just thought I haven’t been up to you’re old house in years.. and… and there’s just so many memories-”

Dan let in a big gulp of air which sounded slightly like a sob. Kath sat him down and finished putting on his coat, pulling him in close to warm him up.

“You’re okay… you’re okay… we’re going home now. It’s okay.”

The remainder of the ride was rather quiet. Only Dan’s chattering teeth and the bus exhaust broke the silence. Luckily, the ride to the top of the neighborhood they were staying in wasn’t terribly long. As they walked to the house, Kath instructed Dan to change into sleeping clothes and crawl into bed. He mumbled a few words, protesting that the guest shouldn’t take care of him, but went along with Kath anyway.

She watched him trudge into his room and shut the door behind him before she went to start the tea kettle. Though in her search through the cupboards she couldn’t find chamomile, she did find a non caffeinated green. The kettle began to chirp after a few minutes. She turned the heat off and poured the water into a purple mug that reminded her of Phil’s phone case. She hadn’t even intended to use it for that reason but she guessed that she had just been drawn to it.

On the way to Dan’s room, she stopped by the living room to check up on her husband, and discovered that he was snoring. The game no longer playing in the background but rather some American crime show that would’ve drove Nigel far away if he was conscious. She smiled to herself as she gently covered her sleeping husband with a blanket and turned off the television set. Sleeping on a chair would usually hurt his back but by the looks of the one that he was resting on, back problems were not part of the equation. This place they had rented really showed how far they had come with money in the past years.

With a final look towards the sleeping figure, she then turned to the door opposite which hid a young man who was worrying himself to death. She knocked softly on the door and heard a small voice say, “Come in.”

Kath leaned against the door to push it open, entered the room, and closed the door behind her in a similar motion. Her eyes then fixed on Dan, in a grey tee and pajama pants, looking up at her from behind his laptop as he sat with his long legs stretched down the length of the bed.

“I brought your tea,” Kath said while walking towards the top of the bed. She sat it down on the end table and Dan smiled.

“Thank you. Really. It means a lot to me that you came and found me. I might not have um… have gone home otherwise.” He looked down at his legs.

Kath briefly considered telling him that she worried about the safety of her future son-in-law, but while Phil had said they had both already agreed at a incoming proposal, she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to already know.

Kath noticed that he was still shaking slightly.

“I think it’s time you get tucked in. It’s rather chilly in here.”

Dan took another quick sip of tea and buried his lower half under the blankets obediently.

“Are you all set?” She asked.

“Yes, thank you,” he replied.

Kath turned to walk out and leave Dan to get his rest.

“Katherine?”

She turned around to face him.

“Yes, Dan?”

“Do you.. um.. Do you think he’s going to be… okay?”

He took a shaky break and Kath began to walk over to his side. She noticed he was shaking like a leaf again.

“You don’t think…” he said, “you don’t think that it’s going to be… permanent?”

Kath sat on the bedside next to him and rested her hand on his shoulder. Dan may have matured years and years since she first met him, but in this moment, she saw the frightened eighteen year old swimming in his mahogany eyes.

“He’s going to be okay. I know it. Phil has a hard head.” She petted his shoulder a bit, going slowly because she didn’t know Dan’s exact personal boundaries.

She believed every word, Phil wasn’t well, but he wasn’t terrible either. But she understood Dan’s concern as Dan hadn’t seen him since he brought him in after the incident. She couldn’t imagine being witness to the collision and seeing Phil fall to the ground and not get up and having to check for a pulse…

No. It was too awful for her to imagine. Even if it was poor Dan’s reality.

“But they had to take him in for surgery. I can’t imagine that being terribly good. He could be in that hospital for weeks..”

A hiccup that almost sounded like a sob erupted from Dan’s throat.

“ ‘m sorry,” he mumbled, wiping one of his eyes slightly. But a snuffle followed his statement.

“Oh, Dan..”

Kath bent down and wrapped her arms around Dan and he gave her one of the deepest, desperate hugs that she had received in a long time. Her hand ran up his back and ran through his curls. His body was still shaking, but this time they crescendoed into sobs. And as she continued to comfort him through his release of emotions as they came out through the dam he had built through the past few days. They came onto Kath as he embraced her tightly and as his tears and snot wetted her shoulder. And Kath did nothing but give him the support he needed so desperately. Being a mother, she definitely knew. Sometimes all someone needed was a shoulder and hug to cry into.

Dan was desperate, practically clawing onto her as if she was his only anchor to reality. A thought came to her mind then, a thought to help Dan, to comfort him. But it seemed almost crossing a boundary between two people who weren’t technically family. But Dan felt like family to her, so she asked.

“Do you want me to get in bed with you for a bit?”

Dan’s sobs slowed and for a moment there was no response. But then she felt a nodding in her shoulder and felt the mattress shift as Dan made room. She lifted up the covers and scooted in close to him, then returned to the embrace. Dan was now crying less, but rather just holding her tight.

“I miss him,” he whispered softly.

“I know,” Kath replied, “He’ll be home soon. I know it.”

She listened as Dan’s breathing slowed and felt his grip loosen. Her hands still ran up and down his back though. Thoughts ran through her head about how much this man knew about her youngest son.

He had lived with him for almost a decade, fulfilled all of the roles of co-worker, best friend, and lover during that time, laughed with him, cried with him, kissed him, made love to him, and prepared to spend the rest of his time on earth with none other but her son. Her baby.

It was definitely a weird feeling. The little baby, the blank slate that had once been entirely dependent on the mother that cradled him was now an amazing adult with millions of fans who he shared with a partner. Perhaps even a soulmate. A soulmate who cared so damn much about her son. A soulmate that through thick and thin had always come back to him. A soulmate who was now slowly falling asleep in Kath’s arms. And in that moment, Dan felt as much of a Lester as anyone else. Kath’s family. Kath’s son in law. Dare she say he almost felt like her own child.

His breathing now had slowed to the breathing of someone half asleep.

Perhaps he didn’t comprehend that he was saying it, or who he was saying it to, but the words left his mouth in a bear inaudible whisper.

“I love you.”

Kath felt her heart either widen or melt a bit and she found the words leaving her mouth without a second thought.

“I love you too, Dan.”

Padding. Walking. There was someone else in the darkened room.

Kath was stirred from her sleep as she discovered a tall shadow hovering above her.

Her sleep-induced mind made lazy reaches at remembering the situation. She was staying… with Dan? Not Phil- why not Phil?

“Nigel?” She murmured to the figure towering above her. It was beginning to come back to her. He was probably wanting her to come to bed with him.

“No. It’s me. Phil.”

Phil? No, it couldn’t be…

“Phil? But how-”

“You guys got the wrong information. I was okay the whole time. No complicated surgery, just tests and stitches. There was another guy named Lester in the ward.”

Kath began to sit up but Phil gently kept her down.

“Shh, it’s okay. Go back to sleep, we’ll discuss it in the morning,” Phil whispered.

Part of Kath protested, but her body aches to go back to sleep, and she was much too old to protest.

As sleep took her, she saw Phil’s shadow, illuminated from the moon shining in the window between the snow clouds, move over to the other side of the bed and crawl in.

The warm body next to her stirred.

“P- Phil? Wh-“

“Shh, you’ve been through so much. We’ll talk about in the morning.”

His voice was so slow and deep and conveyed the pure message that everything was going to being okay now. Kath hardly remembered their final encounter before sleep took her once again.

The soft sound of lips meeting sealed the new, peaceful tone of that snowy night in February.

And Kath knew all three people crammed into that bed felt true bliss in that moment.

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #phandom Big Bang #pbb2018 #pbb #phandom Big Bang 2018

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licoriceblackaliceangel · 5 years

Photo

February 1st is the day I made this blog!

First making this blog, I’ve said it plenty of times when it was brought up, but I never intended to do much with it.

I made it for the purpose of not flooding my main blog with bat/im stuff, and having the idea of answering asks for Alice if any came by. I was RPing as Alice with someone on discord for at least four months prior to this blog, and soon this blog delved more into an RP blog more than an ask blog.

I’ve made plenty of friends, have so many memories and a lot of growth through this blog. And despite some of the hard times I faced and forces and situations where I almost deleted a few times.. I don’t regret a thing.

SO.

I decided to make a little follow forever under the cut! A few people (Going back. A lot of people did. Oops.) will get some special shoutouts solely because I have a lot of thoughts, but if I don’t write something for you, don’t think you mean any less to me! If I forget anyone, my DEEPEST APOLOGIES. I have the memory of a gold fish and trying to remember everyone is. Hard.

But just know if we are mutuals I LOVE AND CHERISH YOU.

This also got a lot longer than I expected OOPS

@inkdrenchedsmile: Tea, I tell you everyday and talk to you almost everyday. I love and cherish you so so so much. You’re the sweetest, cutest, most darling thing ever. You are the brightest little marshmallow peep~ And I have so grateful everyday to have met you and be able to write with you. I love your writing and stories and your ideas and art and YOU ARE SO TALENTED! You mean the world to me. I love you, honeybun <3

@kalamxs: GIO. BOY YOu know I told you plenty of times you’re one of the reasons I even went to making this blog. I followed you before I even had the thought in my mind (I don’t remember why, maybe from your AWESOME ART and your writing and rping made me stay) because YOU ARE SO FUCKING GOOD!! I remember laughing all the time and sharing with my friends in my discord even though they don’t exactly understand BUT-- Man I’m so happy I got to actually. Interact with you! And get to befriend you and man YOUR ART GIVES ME LIFE. I love seeing all your stuff and writing and I LOVE WRITING WITH YOU. Bendo and Alice are absolutely adorable as well; fucking dorks. I LOVE YOU BABEY!! NEVER GONNA STOP LOVIN AND SUPPORTIN YOU!!

@bendicethedaughterofthedevil: NICK. You know I been with you since the MERE START. And I told you watching your growth and Bendice’s story was. WOO. Man I sometimes see the old Baby Shower art thing I did for the twin’s baby shower like.. Gonna be almost a year with that too. And just. :(.. THINGS WERE SIMPLER THEN.. I love you Nick, you’re talented and sweet and so so ambitious and strong and I LOVE YOU BABEY!!

@devilswinging: Veemo, I am so glad to have been able to meet ya and interact with you. I love ya man and I love writing with you and your muses. I love the small chit chats we have and seeing you on my dash. I love Alice’s relationship with Bebe and Sammy and just. Man!! You know, no matter what, if you ever feel down and feel like no one likes your boys, know I !! Will always love and appreciate them. <3 And Alice does too.

@instrumentsofcyanide: STELLLAAAAAAA. I fucking love you Stella. You’re so funny and sweet and the little messages back and forth sometimes and you coming in my DMs like: WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOUR ANONS all the time is. So funny. All the damn fiascos Oreo manages to produce and just. Oreo in general. Always gets me laughing and smiling. I love you and your boy so much?? You’re so fun and creative and silly and just an OVERALL JOY TO TALK AND BE AROUND WITH!!! I’m so glad to be able to interact and talk with you <3 (Never forget the first time I think you actually said anyhting to me was about that one Alice Blog Foot Pics Fiasco and I’ll never forget being like; Man someone I look up to and I’s first interaction is over saying ‘wow fuck this girl’ over guilting me for foot pics-- DOFIHJGFD)

@inkwise: AVI I LOVE YOU SM. DFKGJ. You’re so sweet and creative and your muses are an absolute joy. I especially have so many feelings. For Henry. So much. I love this man so much and I thank you and him everyday for my life. He needs a break. I love getting to write with you and seeing you on my dash is?? A fucking delight. Thank you. <3

@lxgner: ALICE YOU CREATIVE SWEET PERSON. You have so many damn muses and I APPLAUD YOU. Your OCs are all pretty sweet imo? The ones I seen. And the ambition you have to write and work on all this?? I applaud. I love your Joey muses esp and they’re so interesting and I love the thought you put into them all you know?? It’s interesting and really brings life into them. Your writing is delicious and your humor is. Great. I love writing with you <3 Keep your head up darling.

@one-eyed-twin: LADY V I LOVE YA SWEETHEART. Your muses are a delight and I love the little threads we’ve had, either it with Phiona, Clyde or Vlad (here and on my other blog) I love peaking at your threads and seeing your writing. You’re an absolute delight and I love?? Your creativity and your ART!! You truly are a person with impeccable tastes ~ Love seeing you on the dash, love <3

@inkyencounters: Glowbun you. Are really a sweetheart. So creative and funny, you really are kind and try to look out for everyone and it’s Very nice. I’m very appreciative of how kind ya are and the creativity you have with your muses and just. It’s very refreshing. Thank you for everything.

@sillymuses: Where do I begin. I love writing with you either with Charlie or on this blog, both here and my OC blog of course. You really have such a creative spin in your writing and really? Feel your characters and paint them so!! Amazingly. I love the back and forth between you and you’re honestly. Adorable. I love seeing you and your creativity hun <3

@inkmachine: GLOOMY I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE THINGS ARE/WILL GET BETTER SOON LOVIE. God it’s always a treat when you’re online and on the dash it’s. Always hilarious. I love seeing what Bendy fucking gets up to this time and he’s so?? Awesome. I love him a lot. The little bastard PFF. He’s absolute adorable and cute and I love the dark shit with him honestly. And him and Alice’s lil Candi adventures are always. Tooth rottingly sweet. I love ya hun. <3

@taakos-troupe-of-threads: I hope you know the phrase “Snap would fight Chalk Jesus for Alice’s honor” is a thing that will NEVER leave my mind and tends to cross it once a day. PFF. I love writing with you and seeing you on the dash as well! Snap is a fucking DOLL and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. (As does Alice, ofc) They’re absolutely adorable and poor girl is such a worrier PFF. Our DMs are always something funny as well, I think. I always know I’m in for something good when I see that fucking. Orange Danny Devito icon in my dms-- KSKJF

@dappcrdust: GLITTER!! Man. I remember first writing with you with your Bendy muse and honestly? Ever interaction from him to now has ALWAYS been a fun treat. I love your writing and love seeing you on and getting into whatever shenanigans that seem to pop up. Mostly with Angel it seems pfff.. Sweet Angel. I love what you have all done and cooked for him and his character he’s so?? three dimensional i love it. Him and Alice’s BFFship is honestly. Great and I love them SO MUCH. You’re creative and fun and just. A sweetheart. Love ya hun <3

@gamblxrhxsk: tbh I didn’t know what blog to @ YOU FUCKING MANIAC. Jk. I love you Echo. PFFF It’s funny to me that I feel I got closer with you via fucking. shit with CEO-Entity. LMAO. Echo where do I start. You are SO DAMN FUNNY. Like my GOD how many times have I laughed out loud to myself over some shit ya wrote and done?? Hell, even with your stuff with phil swift and entity and all that stuff got my SQUAD TO COME TO ME LAUGHING OVER IT!! I love also all your muses and the fact you got this whole arsenal and can?? Keep up with it for what it seems like. PROPS!! I love fucking around with you here and there and even though we don’t really write together too much (which, I would love to but I’m myself and even still lowkey anxious OIGJG) I just love putzing around and seeing you do your thing on the dash; from jokes to serious business. It’s always a treat. <3

@nctherchpter: Pai, I’m still lowkey so flattered you ever followed me back (and now mutuals with me on our mains like. WHAAA--) Your art is always. Bellissimo. Asriel was always a joy to see and honestly just. Stole my heart. I love him so much. Your writing is always a joy and man you just. Are skilled in The Arts(TM) Your self insert blog is also?? Awesome. I love the concept and idea and going through with a thing like? Honestly. Inspiration. All your self insert stuff really is just. Big big inspo. I’m so glad you seem to have? So much fun. Also I did say it in Nick’s stream many moons ago when they were going through BATIM again. Your voice is v cute <3

@clair-de-luna: WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH YOU!!! Man I remember following your main back for that SWEET MUFFETON ART. My cherished Muffeton mutual. And now here we both are with THIS. YOUR ART JUST CONTINUES TO INSPIRE AND GROW AND I LOVE!! SEEING IT!! And LUNA MELTS ALICE AND I’S HEART ALL THE TIME. God does she ADORE HER LITTLE STAR!! Ugh. I cry real tears. Always a delight to see you both here and your main. <3 I love ya DC!!

@lilithmagne: AC you. Are truly an artistic marvel. Your art is INCREDIBLE, your writing is BEAUTIFUL. And I love seeing you on my dashboard. You are so sweet and kind?? It’s so nice. I LOVE the love and work you put into Lilith and her story and your research and dedication? It’s amazing. Lilith is an absolute BEAUTY and God I LOVE HER. You do her SUCH A BEAUTIFUL JUSTICE!! So honored to be mutuals with you honestly. <3 Keep being amazing you beautiful person.

@lucifermagne: MARZI YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL. Working on all those HH icons for other rpers, working on your other RP blogs and pumping out that SWEET CONTENT. You are honestly a treasure. You are absolute sweet and a joy to see online. I love peaking at your threads and LOVE seeing your posts either for HCs or just IC shenanigans with Lucifer. You put so much through and care into your interpretation of him and I LOVE IT. He’s such a fun goof ball but at the same time presents himself as. THE KING OF HELL. Obviously. He’s an absolute Joy and just!! It’s amazing. We haven’t threaded together yet but even despite that?? I just love seeing you and him (and Alastor and Marx and the gang ofc) on the dash. Always a damn delight. <3

@thatscwewywabbit: we only just started interacting like. a week or so ago but AMANDA Man I have told you before how much I adore seeing you write for Bugs and how it’s ALWAYS SO FUN to see him and your posts for him on the dash. THE AMOUNT OF RESEARCH, CARE, LOVE, THOUGHT ALL PUT INTO HIM AND YOUR WRITING FOR HIM. It’s just so good. So refreshing. Ugh. MY CHILDHOOD!! It makes me so happy all the time. You really are. An inspiration. Writing with you and him is a DELIGHT and love peeking at your other threads just. It’s so nice. It’s almost uncanny how well you play him. My goodness! Keep being awesome lovely <3

@viennaxmuses: Fuck you bitch. Yeah. You’re getting put here. Bitch. Fuck you. I LOVE YOU. BItch. You fucking fuck. You sweet cute funny fuck. You adorable loving supportive bitch. Ya uplifting comforting creative artistic thot. Fuck you.

Okay this went WAY LONGER THAN I INTENDED but sorry everyone else I didn’t write a lil blurb for. I wrote a lot and I STILL WANNA GIVE SHOUTOUTS CUS I LOVE!! ALL OF YOU!! Even non-mutuals like. I just wanna share all the love and appreciation I have here.

@hxllodolly @cvangclii @snxkeyes @ofinkdxmonsandxngels @brxkeninstrument / @butcherbrains @stupidcoffeeboy @strawberry-lemonade-muses @hazbinmuses @bornloscrs @black-jack-the-cat @bluescarfvivi @a-framed-rabbit @angelusvoce @ask-slender-and-gray @wrenchand-abone

#follow forever #long post /#WOOF WOOF W #also yeah good news I didn't entirely loose it YAY

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coolvanessadogsbodyfan · 5 years

Text

Redemption returned

Grotesque is a word that got here to thoughts when a woman pulls her legs via the doors of a dirty clinic. She swayed, felt unusual chilly in that notably drained August countryside. But the rough surroundings was not to blame for the chilly surrounding his body. It was his purpose to step in. His world, filled with journey and joy, was now bullied. It had grow to be detached to him.

The woman was able to verify that there was a life that had been combined inside her for 5 weeks – the life she had fairly unintentionally helped to create an unlucky, drunk one night time

She felt the same sudden nausea that was involved each week before within the presence of a double line in a home being pregnant check window. Wait,. . . what do two strains mean? This can’t happen. He tore another check – two bold blue strains. S ***. He stepped out and pulled out without considering of a cigarette that remained secure till he threw it violently into the ground. Ugh, guess it out. He drove to his telephone within the early morning mild, he rolled his identify. He hesitated, then met it, and when the ring got here, he tried as soon as to take away the throat. "Hey, it's me. I'm sorry, I know it is early. Can you… Can you talk about the minutes?"

He had referred to as her to drive to the clinic, which was drained in the morning. Whether moral help or curiosity, he did not know and He was simply the only soul he had informed, principally his catholic colleague, pal, roommate and household he had to maintain in the dead of night. The thought of telling them about this hellish mess was incomprehensible, even horrifying.

Nurse, kindly center an previous lady referred to as her back with a chipper. The woman glanced at her companion, and she or he took her hand rigorously to her, guided her to the exam room and helped her to the desk the place she hurriedly raised her shirt.

"Sorry, I have an hour," she muttered eyes fell. "Remember if we do this fast?"

"Of course", Sick The gunner answered sympathetically with a smile. ”Here we go, this seems a bit chilly for the second time. Let's see. Yeah, take a look at that cluster there? It's your child, honey. ”

The woman stared on the black and white image of the display as her coldness went warm and cozy with a dark numbness. He discovered his father's eyes, sincerely in search of his reaction to direct his personal difficult emotions. "I'm here every step of the way, no matter what you decide," he broke: "We are in this together, okay?"

He nodded and closed his eyes. Scorching, indignant tears nervous and tune his face. His body began to tighten and tremble. He pressured himself to observe his baby once more as a result of the contradictory thoughts ran in. I don't want you. You have been born to a mother who regretted you within the moment she noticed you. What if that is the one opportunity for a kid? What do I see extra? Here the rubber strikes the street. Can I stay with myself if I didn't say to you? I would like you. I want you. I hate you. I really like you.

The woman squeezed her hand and turned to the nurse. "Thank you," he stated, respiration deeply. "Yeah, what's next?"

"It's utterly yours, pricey. It's your body, isn't it? ”

– – –

5. August 2015, I made a decision to cease an individual who might have taken his first life on March 29, 2016. I like those days of mourning a toddler who existed however by no means lived outdoors my physique. I respect her by naming her, talking to her, crying for her, praying to her. For a kid who would have melted my coronary heart regardless of the terrible three. A youngster who would in all probability have stored me at night time in moms angst. The boy's father – and the younger man, husband and father – was robbed of the chance to return.

I mirrored sufferers back to this terrible August, many occasions, many occasions ever since, spending hours and hours hardly ultrasound. It’s wrinkled and worn out of my busy retreat to my hometown's arrow wound; as a result of once I stopped being pregnant, and left abruptly out of faculty, I found little purpose to remain. Each a part of me (theoretically) lives a Catholic, passionate graduate scholar, a hopeful author, an educational, a superb and trustworthy one that was crushed in a number of months. For me, these months have been recognized for years. I spent them buried deep in Netflix, hiding eating and crazy social media, feeling myself in the face of anger and contempt.

I received bone fracturing and nervous nausea. I have shed twenty kilos. My hair started to thin and fall. My skin turned pale, uninteresting, embedded. The art of conversation and human interplay slipped. I literally couldn't convey myself away from bed to eat, drink or even exit if I might help it. My buddies began to fret, however I ignored their call and hid in my room once they tried to examine me out. My household had gone to panic, wondering what was incorrect with me. I used to be astonishingly shortly destroyed my former self in a fragile shell.

When a bright-eyed woman with a vivid shell discovered myself tireless, that was the thing of this unforgivable Evil I had completed. This factor I might by no means take again. This thing, as I firmly consider years later, which I might by no means forgive myself – and by no means forgive by God or man.

It’s typically stated that God's work in our life is a mystery that we might be foolish to attempt to understand. I was so scared to share my nervousness about what I might have completed to a toddler – the soul I might have created together with a careless, lustful renunciation – that I didn't dare to go close to the church for almost a yr. I used to be satisfied that I used to be committed to hell and I was out of all salvation. My desperation stored me so tight that I felt I might by no means smile again. It’s unimaginable to imagine that I might ever love – or be beloved – again. For who might love me after I had carried out one thing so selfish, so terrifying?

And I had carried out this for a simple cause that I felt like I couldn’t be a single mother because I used to be determined to be afraid that my attack on high functioning alcoholism quickly began. I moved with my mother and father and began a job search as a result of the unfinished diploma was virtually ineffective. During this era of unemployment began to mingle eagerly, hopping from group to group, in order that nobody would discover how much I drank. Soon, what I referred to as a "social" drink turned normal on most days of the week – 4 or 5 robust drinks. I typically ran residence to my disgrace once I was quite upset – but I never thought I used to be consuming. Spend the weekends with a spell of different "friends" who did not know me afterwards. Sleeping, sleep deprived on a regular basis mornings have been my new commonplace.

Over the subsequent two years, I was capable of plan workplaces that assorted extensively between publishing and cutting-edge know-how for international intelligence and fundraising, however I never took a long time to get kicked out of each job. I used to be indignant, unknown and boastful, clocked out and in with out problem learning and working with others. I hid my wrestle with the inadequacy of indulging in a corrosive comparability by way of social media with other Millennials who I imagined was a perfect and carefree life. This rising resentment unfold shortly and became firmly rooted in My Character. I used to be miserable and shimmering, unable to be thankful for what I had: a loving household, monetary and emotional help, and pals who pale the recurring storms of our atmospheric and isolated occasions.

escape MO did work,. . . Until it was. July 21, 2017 I was (rightly) arrested for drunk driving.

I consider that in the shadow of doubt, if I had not been arrested, I might have determined to kill myself or one other individual, God's ban. I spent twenty-four horrifying hours in jail until my father and brother saved me. Once we drove residence in hidden silence, I used to be amazed at the terrible implementation of what I might have accomplished. I had found the base. After years of failure – personal, skilled, and religious – I was desperate to vary my life. However how? What might probably be a enough substitute for the fact that alcohol has all the time given me, without failure?

At night time, my younger brother, Tacos, fell sharply, however kindly asked me to get assist with all the things he needed. He advised me that the twister I had come – to tear my approach within the lives of others, in addition to mine – was not acceptable. Simply two weeks after my arrest, I came across a help group for alcohol use. It is a marvelous organization that has helped me to realize and keep respect for alcohol since October 2, 2017. By means of day by day meetings, lively service, religious self-discipline and a singular connection, it has now turn into a mannequin of my life.

Without it, I couldn’t have referred to as the facility to forgive myself, let go of my previous and let God construct with me and do with me the best way He needs. Solely once I search for assist, I might see my despair not as a curse however as a present

Typically, as Paul Newman's Luke Jackson says, there may be no real cool hand.

– – –

Once I ran into this furious group, hungry for the which means and function that had looked at me in Catholicism, I discovered myself wandering atheism, agnostism and Buddhism. My anger in the direction of the Church swept and slowly eroded the assumption every day.

Then, once I was working in the twelve steps, I slowly started to experience mental change and religious awakening. I’ve discovered to differentiate uskonni foaming petition sentimental and superficial sentimentality, which had all the time given me permission to share myself and Mr. Dr. Jekylliin Hydeen. I might be my Catholic Character once I took random sexual encounters which are typically delivered to a fruitless company to destroy my conscience. In my social life, I turned an professional in mask Jungian when anybody else of morphene needed me to be. Without the self-sufficiency of the interior mechanism I’ve discovered to control others to awaken specific emotions that might strengthen increasingly more delicate and fleeting self. I obtained in and went to my beloved one's life as I used to be happy with the livid and chaotic hurricane without remorse.

Once I finally referred to as for the braveness to ask God (and myself) for forgiveness, I used to be not on the lookout for a Catholic priest. As an alternative, my "liberty" and healing got here from David, a self-described brazenly homosexual, seventies, whose deviation from the priesthood forty years in the past induced cruel wounds that persecuted him at the moment. We developed intimate recent friendships that I might be grateful eternally. Through the years, my trauma broke down David's palms late within the night time as he struck uncontrollably as he held me a starry, quiet sky.

"Why are you crying?" He asked for a while. [19659002] "I am… Bad," vapors of the wells. "I can not forgive. I'm a murderer. I have killed my own child."

David checked out me mix of horror and compassion. "But you have not destroyed or convicted. You have got been redeemed via Christ. He beloved you then. He loves you very much. ”

Tears stopped all of a sudden, obtrusive respiration slowed." Is he? "I asked, vast eyes and I was afraid of his answer." How can you be so sure? " 19659002] "Because He is greater than any pain you suffered, suffered now or ever", David replied with a relaxing peace that stopped me on my tracks. "You've heard from us a thousand occasions – pay attention! Get away from God whenever you perceive God. Trust Him day by day. Clear the home every single day, serve others, day by day, and then do it once more the subsequent day. In the future at a time. ”

I might simply stare at him foolish I replied vividly that a tremendous smile, his eyes shining when he stated, "I believe so." You must attempt it. ”

So I did.

Maddeningly slowly but certainly, bodily, mental, emotional, and mental sensitivity began to forgive me the uninteresting pain that was not only struck out I need to reside. I threw myself again into my very own life and confirmed increasingly more to my family members – typically in nice ways, but principally in small ones. Every time I made a mistake, I admitted it instantly and asked God what corrective measures I should take. I gave Him a self-discipline to my wild and obscure spirit as my line of will – which had previously been in riot – was ever nearer to Him.

I started to wish every morning and night for others as an alternative of myself. Although this was initially mechanical, I really began to study what was referred to as to me a man and a lady who continues to be sick. I ended preventing my demons and confessed them. Each time I felt aroused or suspicious, I interrupted and requested God to assume or act, which might give me the braveness to adapt the serenity to the accident.

In the long run, he lit the trail to my house church – when I discovered a unprecedented compassion and a resignation from the same Catholic group that I had wrongly assumed would condemn me strictly. But I'm sad that we acerbic-cultural and non secular dialogue provides rise to unnecessary suffering of different ladies who, like me, noticed solely despair and hope within the midst of demise and new life. I say to them: You’ll never ever be alone.

Is that this a cheerful return house that answers come once I need them to be? Typically. At different occasions I can't see them, and ask him for steerage or pay attention in a different way

Have you ever discovered to be pleased more often than not? Isn't that the case?

It's by no means. I mean by no means.

I mean this: As soon as upon a time my detached world has turn into enchanted. I mean, I started digging my life again. I've discovered to offer myself a dream once more, attempt once more, fail once more, love once more, harm once more – not again.

I even dared to chuckle at myself and with the world again. And that is the miracle.

The post Redemption returned appeared first on Android Illustrated.

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yourjuulfriend22-fan · 5 years

Text

Redemption returned

The woman was able to verify that there was a life that had been combined inside her for 5 weeks – the life she had fairly unintentionally helped to create an unlucky, drunk one night time

"Sorry, I have an hour," she muttered eyes fell. "Remember if we do this fast?"

The woman squeezed her hand and turned to the nurse. "Thank you," he stated, respiration deeply. "Yeah, what's next?"

"It's utterly yours, pricey. It's your body, isn't it? ”

– – –

escape MO did work,. . . Until it was. July 21, 2017 I was (rightly) arrested for drunk driving.

Typically, as Paul Newman's Luke Jackson says, there may be no real cool hand.

– – –

"Why are you crying?" He asked for a while. [19659002] "I am… Bad," vapors of the wells. "I can not forgive. I'm a murderer. I have killed my own child."

David checked out me mix of horror and compassion. "But you have not destroyed or convicted. You have got been redeemed via Christ. He beloved you then. He loves you very much. ”

I might simply stare at him foolish I replied vividly that a tremendous smile, his eyes shining when he stated, "I believe so." You must attempt it. ”

So I did.

Is that this a cheerful return house that answers come once I need them to be? Typically. At different occasions I can't see them, and ask him for steerage or pay attention in a different way

Have you ever discovered to be pleased more often than not? Isn't that the case?

It's by no means. I mean by no means.

I even dared to chuckle at myself and with the world again. And that is the miracle.

The post Redemption returned appeared first on Android Illustrated.

#Abortion #Latest #Religion

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little-big-world-in-the-tim-blog · 5 years

Text

Redemption returned

The woman was able to verify that there was a life that had been combined inside her for 5 weeks – the life she had fairly unintentionally helped to create an unlucky, drunk one night time

"Sorry, I have an hour," she muttered eyes fell. "Remember if we do this fast?"

The woman squeezed her hand and turned to the nurse. "Thank you," he stated, respiration deeply. "Yeah, what's next?"

"It's utterly yours, pricey. It's your body, isn't it? ”

– – –

escape MO did work,. . . Until it was. July 21, 2017 I was (rightly) arrested for drunk driving.

Typically, as Paul Newman's Luke Jackson says, there may be no real cool hand.

– – –

"Why are you crying?" He asked for a while. [19659002] "I am… Bad," vapors of the wells. "I can not forgive. I'm a murderer. I have killed my own child."

David checked out me mix of horror and compassion. "But you have not destroyed or convicted. You have got been redeemed via Christ. He beloved you then. He loves you very much. ”

I might simply stare at him foolish I replied vividly that a tremendous smile, his eyes shining when he stated, "I believe so." You must attempt it. ”

So I did.

Is that this a cheerful return house that answers come once I need them to be? Typically. At different occasions I can't see them, and ask him for steerage or pay attention in a different way

Have you ever discovered to be pleased more often than not? Isn't that the case?

It's by no means. I mean by no means.

I even dared to chuckle at myself and with the world again. And that is the miracle.

The post Redemption returned appeared first on Android Illustrated.

#Abortion #Latest #Religion

1 note · View note

unyielding-black-blog · 5 years

Text

Redemption returned

The woman was able to verify that there was a life that had been combined inside her for 5 weeks – the life she had fairly unintentionally helped to create an unlucky, drunk one night time

"Sorry, I have an hour," she muttered eyes fell. "Remember if we do this fast?"

The woman squeezed her hand and turned to the nurse. "Thank you," he stated, respiration deeply. "Yeah, what's next?"

"It's utterly yours, pricey. It's your body, isn't it? ”

– – –

escape MO did work,. . . Until it was. July 21, 2017 I was (rightly) arrested for drunk driving.

Typically, as Paul Newman's Luke Jackson says, there may be no real cool hand.

– – –

"Why are you crying?" He asked for a while. [19659002] "I am… Bad," vapors of the wells. "I can not forgive. I'm a murderer. I have killed my own child."

David checked out me mix of horror and compassion. "But you have not destroyed or convicted. You have got been redeemed via Christ. He beloved you then. He loves you very much. ”

I might simply stare at him foolish I replied vividly that a tremendous smile, his eyes shining when he stated, "I believe so." You must attempt it. ”

So I did.

Is that this a cheerful return house that answers come once I need them to be? Typically. At different occasions I can't see them, and ask him for steerage or pay attention in a different way

Have you ever discovered to be pleased more often than not? Isn't that the case?

It's by no means. I mean by no means.

I even dared to chuckle at myself and with the world again. And that is the miracle.

The post Redemption returned appeared first on Android Illustrated.

#Abortion #Latest #Religion

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