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#did anyone even read all these. if you did ily sorry i just love voice actor stuff

youaintnothinbuta · 17 days

Note

Hello!!! I saw you wanted some sort of army Elvis prompt so I thought I'd send one through!!! Love your stuff by the way. Daddy!Elvis 🥺🥺🥺🥺 he's so cute!!

Ok...how about...Elvis is doing like a party (can be army Elvis or Vegas Elvis or anyone of his phases up to you!) and he and the reader have been together a while, but while they're catering...this one guy and old friend of Elvis's gets a bit TOO touchy feely with her, and takes advantage of her going around catering to people by asking for continuous drinks and stuff until he's drunk. When she tells Elvis he laughs it off the first time. But then when the drunk man gets angry with the reader for refusing to serve him any more drinks he gets a little 'too' angry for Daisy and does something (you can make up what) and then she tells Elvis when she pulls him aside in tears. And then he becomes super 'protective' Elvis....please? 🥺🥺

Hope this is ok!

❤️

“She’s being a real brat.” — Elvis Presley x reader

Omg thank you for replying n for the inspo ily!!! I hope this is okay 💗 I purposely didn’t mention a time so read it as any Elvis era you like

Summary: see request^^^

Pairing: Elvis or Austin!Elvis x reader

Word count: 970

Warnings: fluff!! There is some unwelcome attention and arguing but Elvis looks after you <3

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“Don’t forget, baby, we gotta bring all those chairs outside for everyone before people start arriving,” you reminded Elvis, as the two of you prepared for the party he was hosting.

“Oh, right, thank you honey.” He kissed the side of your head, heading outside to deal with that, while you unpacked the crackers and cheeses and alcohol, his chef preparing the actual food, of course.

That evening, once everyone started arriving, you and your husband made yourselves busy, making sure to greet everyone. As the evening wore on, you found yourself bustling around, making sure everyone’s drinks were topped up and their plates were full. Amidst the lively chatter and music, you were approached by an old friend of Elvis’, a guy you vaguely remembered from previous gatherings.

“There she is! What a stunner Elvis has got himself,” he complimented you as he took another full glass of champagne from your hand, though it didn’t really feel like a compliment.

With a polite smile, you acknowledged him. “Thank you. Yes, it has been a while.”

Initially, his conversation remained innocuous, but as the night progressed, his demeanor shifted. His touches lingered longer than was appropriate, his compliments veering into the realm of discomfort. You thought it was quite interesting too how he only became this way the moment your husband was out of sight.

“Why’s your mister letting you walk around like this? I can’t take my eyes off you,” he remarked, his gaze lingering a little too intently as he brushed his hand over your lower back.

“Thank you,” you replied, a nervous edge creeping into your voice. “I should attend to the drinks.”

Stepping away, you discreetly sought out Elvis, who was engaged in conversation with other guests.

“Elvis, could I speak with you for a moment?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He turned to you, concern furrowing his brow. “Of course, what’s the matter?”

Hesitantly, you confided in him about the man’s unwelcome advances, hoping for some form of intervention.

“That guy, he’s been getting too familiar with me. I can’t even place a name to his face, I don’t even know him.” you pleaded quietly.

“Don’t stress, honey. He’s just being friendly,” he reassured, though his words did little to assuage your discomfort.

As the evening wore on, you went from feeling uneasy to borderline violated. The man, now visibly intoxicated, began demanding more drinks, despite his already inebriated state.

“Hey, sweetheart, another round over here!” he slurred, his voice growing increasingly belligerent.

“I’m sorry, but I think you’ve had enough,” you replied, trying to maintain composure despite the rising tension.

“Pardon?” He asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

You knew he was trying to give you an opportunity to change your words, but you didn’t, repeating yourself. “You’ve had enough to drink.”

“Listen, little girl,” he plunked his empty glass down on a table, his words slurring.

He gave you a gross smile, curled his finger towards you in a come hither motion. As not to cause a scene in front of other guests, you listened to him, even if it was against your better judgment, and leaned in to him.

He positioned his face far too close to yours, startling you with a yell, “you don’t tell me when I’ve had enough. I’ll have as much as I damn well please!”

Your heart raced, and a sense of dread crept over you as his demeanor grew increasingly aggressive. Every instinct screamed at you to retreat, to find safety in the presence of Elvis. How dare someone speak to you like that? Especially in your own home. You feel uncomfortable and unsafe, and you most certainly didn’t want him in your home anymore.

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes. You were able to pretty quickly and easily pick Elvis out from the large amounts of people, tugging on his shirt to pull him aside.

“Baby, what happened?” Elvis asked, immediately clocking your glossy eyes. You began to recount what he had said to you.

“Elvis, he won’t leave me alone. He’s getting aggressive,” you implored, desperation colouring your words. Elvis’ expression hardened as he listened, his concern giving way to resolve.

Elvis approached the guy, who smile at him.

“Just the man I was looking for! Will you tell your girl to get me a drink, she’s being a real brat.”

“Listen to me, ain’t no one gonna talk to me like that, especially not about my wife,” Elvis asserted, his voice cutting through the noise of the party, “you need to leave.”

The man’s smile faltered, replaced by a look of defiance as he squared his shoulders, clearly intent on challenging Elvis’s authority. “Come on, buddy, don’t be like that,” he slurred, his words punctuated by the stench of alcohol on his breath.

Elvis’s jaw clenched, his patience wearing thin as he glared at the man. “I said leave,” he growled, his tone brooking no argument.

For a moment, the room seemed to hold its breath, tension high, then, with a defiant snort, the man turned on his heel, stumbling towards the door with unsteady steps. As soon as he was out of sight, Elvis turned back to you, his eyes softening with concern. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” he asked, his voice gentle as he reached out to cup your cheek.

“I am now.” You nodded.

“I’m sorry, I should have listened to you. Why don’t you hang around me for a while.”

“It’s okay,” you placed your hand over his that was on your cheek. He placed a kiss on your lips, before pulling you into him, dancing with you. You laughed at his spontaneity, as he spun you around, mouthing the words I love you. You replied the same way, as others around you cheered and danced, the party quickly picking back up.

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heelanat · 9 months

Note

that hao crying picture makes me think about how subby baby hao would cling on to you for his dear life when he orgasms and cries so softly, whining and trying to get even closer to you </3 (sorry i had to let it out ily) 🩷

summer skies | zhang hao

pairings: zhang hao x afab! reader, sung hanbin x afab! reader

wc: 1.7K words (holy shit)

cw: 18+ content! minors dni, smut, sub! idol, bottoming, bondage, free use, unprotected sex, fingering, somnophilia, kissing/making out, friends with benefits, friends to lovers, fluff, soft angst(?), a lot of tounge action, praising, degrading, pet names, sadism, mentions of waist and ass grabbing (lmk if i missed anything!)

synopsis: you have been fwb with hao since boys planet, all the pent up anger and stress from leading his groups to victory and losing his competitors and friends are all turned into rough sex. now that you visited zb1 dorms more often, you started developing feelings for their leader without knowing hao broke the one rule in the agreement— don't fall in love.

ask from @jaylaxies: that hao crying picture makes me think about how subby baby hao would cling onto you for his dear life when he orgasms and cries so softly, whining and trying to get even closer to you </3 (sorry i had to let it out ily)

credits: @cafekitsune for the dividers!! ^3^

it was a dark and stormy night, contrasting the beautiful summer skies of july. the cold breeze hitting your skin, the sounds of the rain pouring heavily outside the window was fainted by the sounds of laughter happening inside the dorm. earlier that afternoon, hao called you to help him relive his stress from being bombarded with tight schedules. you had taken a notice of him calling you more often than before but you brushed it off as it means you would also get to see hanbin more. oh how fuckable does he look right now with his low cut shirt exposing his tattoos, the fluorescent light making him glow and sparkle like the star that he is, and he just so happened to be wearing grey sweatpants that day. you were already playing truth or dare so you were only hoping for one of them to read your mind and make you ride his dick until you're both out of breath. jiwoong was just finishing up his dare from ricky — he had to give anyone in the room a lap dance for three minutes and as everyone anticipated it would be you, he strutted on over to matthew. "well that was fun" jiwoong said nonchalantly as he sat back down cross legged. "i quite enjoyed that, actually" everyone laughed at matthew's no filter mouth. jiwoong sprinted the bottle, almost making it fly across the room from how strong he was but it just slightly shifted to the side. it continued spinning until it finally pointed between you and and matthew. jiwoong pushed the bottle forward until it poked the edge of your knee. "finally!" he yelped as everyone cheered. for the whole thirty-six minutes of the game you did not get a single turn which proves that chances are slim but never zero. "truth or dare" jiwoong smirked as he looked at you dead in the eyes. "truth" you smirked back at him. everyone groaned in annoyance as you chose to be a pussy and answer a dumb question instead. "aside from hao," those three words alone were enough to make you tense up. 'omg it's finally happening' you were finally getting a taste of sung hanbin. "who in this room would you give head to and why?" he finally finished the question, palms pressed together as he bit on his thumbs smiling. everyone else looked at each other trying to make guesses but as soon as jiwoong continued the question, your eyes almost immediately diverted back to where it was looking at the whole time earlier. "hanbin" your voice was no louder than a whisper. as he turned to you, you locked eye contact - those beautiful deep brown eyes that glistened under the light, his hair rather billowing in the wind, his pretty pink lips that you wished you had the guts to kiss right then and there. "ever since you were announced as zb1's leader, i started noticing you more and i couldn't take my eyes off of you. your physique is so perfect it's like it was handcrafted from the gods themselves, your face, oh so pretty, it makes me question how worthy i am as a woman, not to mention that heavenly voice of yours - both singing and talking - it's just music to my ears" you smiled to yourself while looking down. hanbin smiled while looking at you and hearing those words from you. his confession? he never thought you were capable of saying such words cause he thought your train of thought was only sex — to which, he was only partially wrong.

since that night, you have been visiting the dorms regularly, even sleeping there for the night a few times because it was so late out. you didn't start dating — yet, you just had mutual feelings for eachother. of course, this doesn't excuse you two from constantly flirting every chance you get. namely; waist grabbing, random pinning against the wall, kissing everywhere and anywhere, ass grabbing, fingering under the table during dinner, grinding against each other until one gets turned on. there was even one time where you burnt your tounge on the coffee he made for you so he kissed it. all these intimate things but never, not even once, did you actually do it. you did dry hump him in the kitchen to help him with his morning wood once but that was basically it. how did hao react to this you may ask? he was pissed - to put it bluntly. at first he thought nothing of it when you decided to visit frequently since it would be faster to ask for help but when he realized you were there for hanbin, he got visibly annoyed. the fact that he was always there to witness everything - whether it be he was already in the room or he was just about to enter - was not helping at all. he grew petty, he didn't touch you, hell, he didn't even dare you look at you. but you didn't care, as long as hanbin had his eyes on you, everything else happening in this world didn't matter. this went on for quite a while. it was no surprise since both of your prides met at the peak of mount everest. however, during one cold night, everything changed. despite the temperature, you were only wearing a tight tank top and a laced panty while laying on the couch, mindlessly scrolling on your phone. as your eyes fixated on the screen, you felt a pair of arms snake around your waist followed by someone burying their face in your chest. as you studied the hair, you immediately recognized who it was. "look who came crawling back" you teased as your eyes went back to your phone screen. hao could only groan in response as he tightened his grip on you while bucking his hips against you, making you feel his hardened member. "mmm, so that's why" you cooed while pushing his hair back to look at him. "p-please... it hurts so much..." his words were almost too strained to articulate "please what? speak up, baby" you grabbed his cheek to make him face you. he was visibly on the verge on tears — but you wanted more. "c-can you ride me... please..." he looked at you wiyh sparkles in his eyes, pouting. "ask properly, princess" you growled as you caressed his cheek with your thumb, making him moan softly. "c-can you please h-help me, m-mommy?" he squirmed while attempting to rub his thighs against his dick to get some kind of friction while still being on top of you. you smirked as you watch him whine against your body, you were enjoying the sight way too much. "good boy, that wasn't so hard was it? now sit up straight" you ruffled his hair before planting a harsh slap on his ass, causing him to jolt up before sitting down on the couch, spreading his legs as wide as he could.

you crawled towards him and started removing his shorts and boxers at a painfully slow pace. hao threw his head back and turned it from side to side while his hips did the same, squirming from your touch. once it was enough for his dick to spring up, you grabbed the throbbing head without warning, making him hiss and moan while cumming all over your hand. "aww, my poor baby, we haven't even started yet" you giggled mockingly as you removed your panties and rubbed his cum all over your pussy, using it as lube before sitting on his erection. both of you moaned as his thick member slowly entered your tight walls. "fuck, feels so good y/n" he tightened his eyes shut from the pleasure. "shh dont worry princess, ill make you feel so good you will be begging for me to stop" you leaned closer to whisper in his ear, causing your chest to rub against him. with his head thrown back, you had easy access to his neck. you grabbed hold of his shoulder on one hand while the other one supported his head as you started biting and sucking down on his ear, slowly making your way to his neck and collar bone. "mmm, yn~" he reached out and placed his hands on your ass, pushing you deeper onto his dick. this made you stop and lean back while grabbing his arms roughly, slowly tightening the grip, making him scream. "did i say anything about touching?" you spoke sternly. he shook his head no with a pout, eyes filled with tears. normally you wouldn't let this slide but he was so close to crying you couldn't wait any longer, as well. you gripped each shoulder for support as you started bouncing up and down on his thighs. you moaned loudly as his length poked your g-spot repeatedly, causing him to harmonize with you. you gradually picked up the pace, as the moans and groaning got even more intense. you rolled your eyes to the back of your head as you were so close to reaching your high. "m-mommy...fuck... please... let me touch you..." hao managed to utter in between his moans, having been gripping the bed sheets this entire time. you slide your hands from his shoulders down to his hands and guided them to your ass. he pushed you back deeper into his dick, as he started thrusting into you in the same pace as you were riding him. "s-so close, mommy" he whined as he kept thrusting upwards while grabbing your ass for support. "cum for me, baby" you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck while still riding him. he continued pushing you closer to him, after a few more hard thrusts, he released his load inside you, making your pussy react to the hot liquid as well. while you were catching your breath on his shoulder, he moved his hands to back and squeezed you into a tight embrace. "i loved you first" he whined. you chuckle and sit up to look at him, pushing a hair strand away from his face. "i know, i love you, too, idiot" you flicked his forehead before kissing it.

a/n: this was shit LMAO WUEOEKPSSL- damn i never really planned on releasing any writing but here we are tysm for sending that ask aria!! omg i literally started working on this as soon as i saw it and i got a little carried away, oops its the boy's birthday i had some motivation okay? but anyways ACK YOURE THE BEST ILYSM ARIA MWAMWAMWA

#zb1 #zb1 smut #zhang hao smut #zhang hao #zb1 imagines #zerobaseone #hanbin smut #hanbin #zhanghao smut

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adorecline · 2 years

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Omg I just read your Getting Older imagine and I absolutely loved it. Maybe you could do another one sometime soon where it's another ryan and blake x daughter reader but she's been an actress since she was very young acting in a bunch of TV shows and movies, and recently her new movie that has become a series just came out and they are all proud of her. Or even one where she is an actress as well but she meets Walker Scobell but she is older than him but he like has a cute little crush on her and she is like one of his idols.

i love this idea! i hope you like it! <3

The Crush {Ryan Reynolds x daughter!reader}

summary: y/n attends the premiere of The Adam Project with her mom and dad, and meets her dad's costar who also happens to be a big fan of her (and has a huge crush on her)

I do not give anyone permission to copy or repost my work on here or any other websites. no translations either. likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Liked by maya_hawke, and 879,828 others

yourusername: who's ready for #theadamproject ??

comments

user01: you look so pretty y/n 🥺

user02: it's giving very much blake

| yourusername: she did raise me after all :)

user03: so excited for this movie

vancityreynolds: i have to admit i am quite ready for this movie :)

| yourusername: haha dad...you're so funny!

| vancityreynolds: why thank you, daughter ☺️

user04: you and your mom always have the best dresses i swear 😍

maya_hawke: you look gorgeous y/n!

| yourusername: thank you, maya! ily!!

y/n posed for the photographers on the red carpet. She stood up straight and looked in everyone direction hoping she was somewhat giving all the cameras a smile. She was close to the end of the carpet and she could go meet her parents inside the theater.

y/n waved to the photographers letting them know she would be walking off. She stopped by the railing that held back screaming fans to take some pictures and sign autographs.

When she was done, she started to make her way into the theater, but was stopped by a boy with blonde hair who she recognized as Walker Scobell, her dad's costar of the movie.

"Hi y/n." Walker smiled a bit shyly.

"Hey Walker. It's so nice to meet you finally." y/n smiled back happily.

"It's nice to meet you, too." Walker said. y/n noticed him fidgeting with his fingers a bit. "I'm a big fan of you and your work. You are an amazing actress." He complimented her.

"Thank you so much." y/n beamed at his sweetness. "That means a lot."

"It's true. I've seen like all of your movies." Walker admitted. "You're one of my idols actually. You're just such an amazing actress. You're so talented and you're really pretty, too." His cheeks flushed after he finished.

"Woah there, Kid!" Ryan said walking up to them. "I like you, but slow your roll with my daughter." He joked making Walker's cheek grow even more red.

"Oh my god." Walker mumbled covering his face with his hands to hide his cheeks.

"I'm just messing with you, Walk." Ryan laughed patting his back.

"I was gonna ask for a picture, but now I'm too embarrassed." Walker shook his head smiling nervously.

"No! It's okay. Let's take a picture." y/n reassured him. "Dad, stop making him nervous."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Ryan jokingly raised his hands in defense. "Here, I'll take the picture for you." Ryan held his hand out and Walker gave him his phone.

y/n wrapped her arm over Walker's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her back. y/n crouched down and leaned closer to him. Both y/n and Walker smiled towards the camera while Ryan sang in a high voice "Cheese!" He snapped a couple pictures before giving Walker his phone back.

"Thank you, y/n." Walker said to her. "It was really nice meeting you."

"You too! I cant wait to see your movie," y/n replied. "My dad has told me great things about."

"Oh, thank you." Walker eyes lit up. "I should probably go find my dad now." He said pointing to the doors behind them.

"We'll see you later, Walker." Ryan said as he left. He waited until Walker was gone then turned back to y/n. "I knew he had a crush on you."

"You're so mean." y/n laughed shaking her head. "Come on, mom is probably wondering where we are."

"Actually, she's probably thankful for the break from us." Ryan said.

tags: @thollandgf

#blake lively x teen!reader #blake lively x daughter!reader #blake lively #celebrities #ryan reynolds x teen!reader #ryan reynolds x daughter!reader #ryan reynolds #social media au

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eloisegrant · 2 years

Text

Spectre with Spector

Summary: Friends with benefits but y’all are actually in love, don’t lie.

A/N: A pretty angsty smut but dw its fluff, too. Oh and there might be some writing errors, sorry. 🥲

Warnings: mentions of blood and child abuse, explicit content, smutty smut, passionate love making, feelings admission, lots of ilys Marc needs reassurance, soft/fluffy s*x with Marc + he deserves all the love.

MINORS DNI-18+

“What the fuck were you doing out there, huh? What part of don’t follow me, did you not understand!?” Marc’s voice was filled with anger and annoyance as you trailed off into the bathroom. Ignoring his mouthing off.

You didn’t mean to, it was just hard to let him go off on his own like this. Sure, he had the power of his God Khonshu and his super-suit, but you can never be too sure.

You wipe away the blood all over your face in the hotel bathroom mirror, ignoring Marc’s lecture as he walked back and forth the room. Maybe he would tire himself out like a dog playing in the backyard or a baby on a walker. Either way you weren’t going to engage in his petty behavior.

“Hey! Y/n, I’m freaking talking to you.” He snaps his fingers in front of you as you were still adamantly scrubbing blood off of your neck, collarbones and arms. The damn blood was already dried up, harder to remove.

He grabs the rag from your hand, forcing you to look at him with unenthused eyes. “Why the fuck did you come? Hm?” He was turning more calm but still had some anger in the sting of his words.

His grip held your hand tight, as if he was begging for an answer. Worried sick. Those soft eyes didn’t match with the way he was spewing anger-filled non-sense but you could see through him. He wasn’t truly pissed with you.

“Marc, I just-“

Your first time speaking gets interrupted. “You just what, huh? Wanted to get yourself killed?” It didn’t sound like anger anymore but rather concern.

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” The snarkiness in your voice was so charismatic, it made Marc chuckle a bit. You damn near gave him a heart attack yet here you were playfully toying with it. If he didn’t admire you so much, you would be thrown off.

“Just please… I can’t- you can’t scare me like that.” He looks you dead in the eye, filling your heart with absolute flattered love for this man, you’d never admit it but it was hard not to fall for him.

With a light smile you questioned, “Why would you be scared?”

He wasn’t prepared to answer that the moment it left your lips.

Why would he be scared? Maybe it’s the worry that something bad would happen to you. That you’d get caught up into his mess and he’d have no chance of getting you back. Maybe someone would hurt you so bad, it would ruin your sense of humanity. Maybe they’d injure you so harshly, you’ll turn into a vegetable.

Damn it, anything like that would break him. It was terrifying to think of.

Sure, the two of you have been fooling around for awhile now. And it never truly had a label for it, but it was just sex; and yeah, the sex was good.

However, this was just too obvious that it was no longer just about fucking. There was something in your expressions and Marc’s nurturing aura that made it seem as though the exchange between the two of you was no longer purely sexual.

Something else was there.

He thought his answer through but all he was able to muster up was, “I don’t want to lose you.”

Your features soften as your lips parted, those words were so uncharacteristic of him; so gentle. Never had you heard him say such a thing, ever. It made your heart swell.

Marc was in such a down mood today and the fact that he was terrified of anything happening to you, terrified him even more. He can’t love you. He shouldn’t. I mean, he knows you wouldn’t. Because how could anyone possibly love him?

Your soft hands fell to his chest, as if to assure him there was nothing to be afraid of. It wasn’t like he could read your mind, but you were seconds away from admitting your true feelings to him. Hearing him say, he doesn’t wanna lose you, was deal breaker.

You were going to tell him.

Well, except for the fact that he was about to tell you first.

“Y/n-“

“Marc-“

Both of your voices hushed after echoing in the bathroom.

He tried to look anywhere but your eyes, slightly embarrassed. So he ended up looking at the mirror. Seeing the way you hand was so fragile against his chest. Feeling his pounding heart.

The way you two looked was intoxicating, like teenagers in love. He wanted to drown in it.

You push the ego in you down and tell him, loud and proud. “Marc can I just be honest…” Removing your touch on his chest, you lifted yourself onto the bathroom counter. Forcing Marc to look up at you, he crosses his arms.

“I came here cause I was worried-”

“Did you think I couldn’t handle myself?” He almost sounded offended, but in reality he was flattered with your care.

You shook your head, “No, because, I lov-”you took your lower lip under your teeth. Catching yourself before you called yourself out. “Marc, I just really want to make sure you weren’t doing, or gonna do, anything stupid.”

“I would never.” He smirks a bit at your concern.

“Well sure you say that, but then you could end up in a ditch again.” You brought up that one time you had to rescue him from a pit. Good times. Good times. “I can’t stop thinking about you, you know?” You became a bit more up front with your emotions, dropping a hint.

Like, ‘Hey, idiot. I really really really like you. I love you, actually.’

But nah, he just took any indication of your feelings as typical flirting. “Yeah but thinking about me is no excuse to risk your life.” He tilts his head to the side.

Was he so dense that he didn’t understand what you were alluding to? How can he not tell that you would risk all of you just to keep him safe? That this wasn’t just some powertrip for you.

You cupped his face, snapping him out of his cockiness. It was hard to say it out loud so you just thought, ‘fuck it, I’m just going to show him’ and pulled him up to your lips.

To say it surprised him would be an understatement. His hands settled a top of your thighs, supporting himself into the kiss. Okay, yeah, the two of you have kissed before. Yet, this didn’t feel like before.

Oh gosh, why were you kissing him like this? Whenever you two hooked up, it was usually quick-paced, erratic and hungry.

But not this one. You were sensual and slow. You melted onto his lips. As if you needed it to survive. Slowly, you removed yourself off him, keeping your eyes on his. The plumpness of his lips appeared to be begging for more.

“What was that?” He grins, exposing those beautiful dimples.

“That was me showing you what I can’t say.” You sheepishly admit, a cowardly move in your part. It wasn’t easy to confess to a friend with benefits that you were in love with them.

Sadly, Marc was still a bit lost. “What can you not say?” The smile still across his face.

With a bothered eye roll and a soft giggle, you just blurted it out, for his sake. “That I’m in love with you, Marc Spector.” Both your hands cup his cheeks. The warmest smile forming on your lips.

Unfortunately, the one on Marc’s faded away. A scrunch forming on his forehead. He couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t understand you. No way in hell what you’re saying is true.

How could you? How could anyone, for that matter, fall in love with him? Let alone, be in love with him. It felt like some sick joke.

But no, you were being real. It wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t a lie. “Marc,” You realize the shift in his expression and said it again to let him know again, “I said I’m in love with you.” Maybe you were overstepping and he didn’t feel the same, but you were too clouded with your feelings.

He sighs, “Why?” A soft whisper escapes his mouth. His eyebrows upturned, like a pleading puppy, he was so distraught. After being led to believe he was unworthy throughout his childhood, he thought being loved would never happen.

“Why? Because you are always my safe zone, Marc. You always lighten my days by making stupid dad jokes. You constantly look out for everyone, without giving a second thought about yourself. You give the best hugs. The best advice. The best kisses…” You trailed your fingers along his shoulder. “Marc its impossible not to love you.”

Those words made his heart swell and fill with warmth. Everything he had thought about himself was gone. The way you were looking at him and your careful touch, all of you. He could just bask in it.

“You know…” He finally smiles again, “…I think you’re pretty neat, too.”

“Oh you do?” You giggle, pulling him back to your lips.

“Yep, so neat in fact that…” He was the one to start the kiss this time, a soft quick peck before saying, “…I’m in love with you, too.” His beautiful eyes bat those hypnotic eyelashes. The way he looked underneath the yellow bathroom lights made him look like a mirage.

He couldn’t believe he admitted it, but it was about damn time he did. You knew he cared for you. But hearing him confess his love was so powerful, it made you smash your lips onto his yet again.

So there you were, getting lost in one anothers kiss. Hands ravaging each other. Eventually, your legs wrap around him, he takes this as an opportunity to grab your hips and lift you off the bathroom counter.

Marc carries you into his arms, never breaking the kiss. He brought you to the bed, gently laying you down, as his kisses trail down to your neck. Soft and lovely, a complete contrast to the usual.

“Marc, I need you.” You breathlessly whispered as he began to cup your breasts over your top.

“Oh yeah?” He lifts his eyebrow with a smirk, getting ready to fuck the ever living crap out of you. But that wasn’t what you meant.

Before he could even pull his pants down, you lift him up to your face. “No, Marc. I mean I need you, to make love to me.” The glistening hotel room lights on your eyes made him weak.

Though he was used to filling you up, grabbing you and roughly ramming into you; This was not about that. Like the scene where Nala was giving fuck me eyes to Simba, Marc was definitely feeling the love tonight.

“You want me to- to make love to you?” Damn he never thought he would be one to stutter, yet here he was. A fumbling, mumbling mess. It was kind of cute, you know… Seeing this buff macho man suddenly turn into a soft submissive boy.

“Yes Marc, is something wrong with that?” You cup his cheeks yet again, he just keeps looking away from you. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to look at you, but he still felt unworthy of you.

Fucking you was different from sensual love making. “No, y/n… I just… You sure?”

Lifting your head up, you push your forehead against his. Wanting him to acknowledge everything you say. “I’m sure.”

With those words of encouragement, he kisses you again. You began removing your pants as Marc does the same. There was no need for foreplay, cunniglingus or oral. All both of you wanted to feel, was each other.

“Wait.” You prompt him to stop pulling his boxers down. He was still wearing his pesky shirt, so you opted to take it off him, your hands at the bottom hem made him shiver. But, he followed, and allowed you to take them off.

“Okay, now your turn.” He jokes, pointing at your tank top. His fingers slide the fabric right off, before quickly unclasping your bra. This was a familiar motion, but Marc made sure it was slower and more passionate.

Both of you took the time to admire one another’s form. You placed peppery kisses all over his neck and torso, making him smile like a complete idiot. You’ve never been this caring or sweet. It was incredible. “So you are in love with me, huh?” A bit of a teasing tone in Marc’s part.

“You have no idea.” You said in between your soft pecks on his chest.

“Well luckily…” He massages your sides gently, admiring the curves of your body. “I’m crazily in love with you, too.” His words make you stop kissing his body just to look up at him.

He nods, with the most dumbfounded smile he could ever plaster. Definitely in love. Slowly, he takes his length out, shocking you the moment he pushes it against your clit. A loud gasp escapes your lips, “Fuuck.”

Marc was back to his cocky self, still obsessed with the way you would sound for him. “Oh baby, that is addictive.” Your breast feels one of his hands kneading and twisting. He knew how sensitive you were in those areas and couldn’t help but take advantage. Turning you into a moaning mess.

“Marc… shit.” Was all you said when you felt his tip slowly slide between your pussy.

“I know baby, I know, shh.” He pushes your hair back, cooing your profanities with his touch and his words.

He grabs your face, maintaining eye contact with you before slowly dipping his entire length into your soaking mound.

“Fuuck, you’re always so tight for me, aren’t you gorgeous?” Marc’s raspy voice made your cunt tighten around him even more. He grunts at the sensation and begins slowly moving back and forth.

The erotic movements filled you with pleasure. It may have been the fact that his gaze never left you or the fact that you were squinting your eyes and throwing your head back in delicious ecstasy. But this was nothing like before.

“Marc- I love you. I need you to know that.” Your eyes lock onto his again, panting, out of breath.

He felt his cock twitch hearing you say those words again, happy with the idea that you would become a permanent part of his life. Maybe he had a kink for being praised because it was a new feeling in him. Like it had been awakened.

“I love you so much.” You pulled him down to your lips, pressing gentle loving kisses.

“I love you so much more.” He exhales as the kiss deepens, the pace of his thrusts quicken with every movement. As the two of you exchange passionate kisses, he massages your tits gently, ensuring that every touch made you starve for him further.

You curved your back, as if to feed into his hands further. He has never touched you so sweetly before. “I’m gonna pick up the pace, gorgeous.” Asking you permission wasn’t a thing he usually did, but he wasn’t going to be rude and just slam into you this time.

“Yes, sure.” Your arms met his back, getting ready for his sliding to get more animalistic. However it didnt. It just got quicker. His roughness wasn’t even there. He was still caring and understanding of how it could hurt you. Even if he’s done it a thousand times before.

“That’s it gorgeous, keep squeezing around me. You’re doing so good.” Cupping your face that had the most dick-dumbed expression across it. You were in such a bliss with the way Marc was making love to you.

“God Marc, you’re so amazing.” You realize he was reaching his high when his face was scrunching up with each pound.

“I’m gonna cum, baby.” His voice was so calm, dipping his head down by your ear. “Cum with me, gorgeous.” A finger reaches down and begins circling your clit with each slide of his cock in and out of you. The friction made you squeeze him even more. Making it hard for him to control himself.

“Fuckk, come on baby. Cum with me.” His words were motivating, his touch was the cherry on top and his cock was the damn icing. You felt yourself make an entire mess all over his length, warmth spreading between your bodies.

He smiles at the sight, seeing his cock covered in your pleasure. “That’s a good girl, so fucking good.” And with that, he rode his high, slamming into you with finesse and care. “Goddd baby-“ He cut himself off as his seed spreads all over your pussy. He stays in you in wonder, kissing you immediately after cumming.

“I love you.” He whispers again against your lips. You felt his dick twitch inside you, making you wrap your legs around him with a huge smile across your face.

“I love you too, Spector.” A cheeky grin peering through you.

He plops down beside you, grabbing the nearby blanket, covering both of you. Comfortably, you laid on his chest. He decided to remind you about something again, “If I say don’t follow me. Don’t.”

You smile up at him, “You don’t control me.” All he could do was shake his head. Cause he knew you were right.

#marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant #jake lockley x reader #moon knight fanfiction #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #marvel fanfiction #moon knight #marc spector imagine #marc spector x y/n #marc spector smut #smut #marc spector fluff #angsty #marc spector angst #jake lockley fluff #steven grant fluff #moon knight imagine

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blueberry-lavender · 1 year

Note

hello!! i hope you're doing well^^ just wanted to stop by n' ask a for little something. all just considering your account is fairly new!!

i'm caught up in the jacq hype; lmfao. like, idk what's up with the guy, but he's just great and was instantly my fve scarvio character. i spent most of my time just doing all of the academic courses instead of exploring the map just because of that guy. scarlet/violet, my fave teacher dating sim.

n e ways, i've been wondering about said guy a bunch. you're open to legit just gush about jacq. if you're wanting to do a specific request, i don't mind hcs of? like? jacq being flustered or something!! wonder what a person would do to get him to such a state 👀

Jacq x Reader HCs - Flustered

Thank you for the request Anon! Sorry it took a minute to get to this, my family got crazy lmao. I love Jacq sm he makes me so happy.

Info: Established relationship, g/n reader, reader is 18+, fluff, mild language at the end

---

🧪I feel like it'd be fun to get him flustered

🧪Like you would just be chilling in his office after school hours and then start making comments while he works on lesson plans

🧪"Hey babe?" You called out from a random chair in the room

🧪"Yes?" He responded while still looking at his computer at his desk

🧪"You're cute." The comment was so random he just froze there for a second

🧪He looked up at you with that same "wtf did I just hear" face that he sometimes gives his students during lectures

🧪He doesn't mean to be rude! He's just confused why you would say that out of the blue

🧪"Disculpe?" he said, forgetting English

🧪"What?" You were half laughing, "You good?"

🧪"I-I'm fine, jus..." he trailed off, not really knowing what to say

🧪You started laughing at the situation and then got playfully defensive.

🧪"What? I can't compliment you?"

🧪He kept looking away, like off to the window with the orange light coming in because of the sunsetting, or to his desk then the door.

🧪Literally anyone and thing but you

🧪He was adorable, like a little Fidough trying to act like it's not upset

🧪Although, there was no denying the crazy blush on his face

🧪You got up from your seat and over to his desk

🧪"Are you alright?" You went onto his side of the desk and leaned on it

🧪It was a genuine concern! He hadn't been like this since like... ever

🧪He didn't know how to react, simply huffing and continuing to type on his computer on the opposite side from you

🧪"I can't tell if you're upset, or if you just don't wanna talk to me."

🧪Jacq turned to you with one hand resting on his desk. It gave off the same energy of a parent watching you come in the house 7 minutes past curfew

🧪"Look, Y/n. I love you. Okay? But you CANNOT just say stuff like that!" He had this laugh in his voice that assured you're not in trouble, but it still felt like a Fidough lmao

🧪"Why not?" You smiled

🧪"Because, Y/n..." he honestly couldn't come up with a reason other than "ily and i wanna kiss you when you do that but that makes me look like a simp so stfu" but he didn't say that lol

🧪In reality, he just stuttered variations of. "I, just. eh,sh ,uha."

🧪Even though it was comical how silly he was being, he was adorable all the same. It was almost like you could read his mind

🧪"I love you. you know?" you said with a sweet smile

🧪Jacq didn't even say anything, he just put his hand on your jawline and kissed you. He knew he wouldn't win any argument about his behavior, so might as well express his love

🧪When you stopped and separated, you laughed. Looking up into his eyes, you could have kept the romance going... but instead decided to be a brat

🧪"... Yeah I'm totally going to tell Miriam about this," then attempted to bolt

🧪"NO THE H3LL YOU'RE NOT" He chased after you, running out the door and into the hall

🧪In summary, the best way to get him flustered is to compliment, tease, and embarrass. You're welcome

#pokemon scarlet #pokemon violet #pokemon #jacq pokemon #jacq x reader #jacq x y/n #i hope you have a good day today #im in love with this man #x reader #x y/n #fanfic #headcanon #hcs #pokemon hc #oneshot #fluff #hehe

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brownieracha · 1 year

Text

Cat café

pairing: Felix x reader

wc: 2.5K

genre: fluff

content warnings: none

a/n: this is my first fic so be nice please :)

(ty @georgenootfound for beta reading this ily)

“Oops sorry,” I try looking up from the floor to see who I’ve run into. Literally. All my things are on the floor. Kneeling on the floor next to me I see a young blond man collecting everything that’s spread everywhere.

“Oh! don’t worry” he hands me my last things “I wasn’t looking, it’s totally my fault.”

I finish shoving all my stuff inside the tote bag. I turn back to thank him, but. Wow.

The first thing I can notice is that he looks like an angel. He’s smiling down at me with a charming look in his face. His hair is blond and slightly pushed back, and I can’t help but notice the little freckles decorating his pale skin.

Fuck I love freckles.

“I’m Felix by the way” he scratches the back of his head nervously. Could he get any cuter? “Again, sorry for bumping into you” his deep voice snaps me out of my trance.

I introduce myself back.

There’s not a day that has gone by since that accident. I have not stopped thinking about that Felix. At this point, I don’t even think I can stop.

Thinking about his perfectly styled blonde hair or his tiny freckles decorating his face. The color of his eyes. The way he smiled at me before introducing himself. But the one thing that kept me awake at night was his voice. That deep voice would make anyone feel things they’ve never felt before. How someone who looks so angelic could sound so devilish?

With those thoughts on my mind (always on my mind. I can’t stop), I started the day. Just like every other day, I get ready for work and leave my flat, not forgetting to say goodbye to my cat. On my way to work I stop on a shop nearby to buy some stuff for my little fluff ball. I was wandering through the corridors in the pet shop when I bump into someone.

Again. Can anyone ever look where they’re going?

“Sor-“ I start to apologize to the stranger when, to my surprise I realize who it is. This couldn’t be real, not again. “Oh-”

“Hi Felix” I look up at him before looking down at the floor. God, my shoes really need some cleaning. I chose the worst day to wear these – did it have to be in front of him? I laugh nervously, a little embarrassed. What are the chances?

“Oh hey, didn’t see you there…again” I feel my cheeks going red “It seems like we can’t meet in a normal way.” He chuckles.

“Oh, I wish we could,” I mumble, still looking down at my shoes.

“What was that?” I look up immediately. Stupid, why did I have to say that out loud? I feel my cheeks heating up more- if that’s even possible. I bet I look like a fucking tomato. Crap.

“Huh?” Huh? That’s all I can say? God. I wish I could function like a normal human being. “I didn’t say anything” ugh.

“Are you sure?” A devilish smile paints his face “are you sure you didn’t say anything?” he tilts his head.

Damn. I wish I could disappear.

Instantly.

I don’t know what to say, so I stay silent. I look back down, too embarrassed to keep eye contact.

He grins. “Me too, by the way.”

And with that he turns around and walks away. It takes me a few seconds to process everything that happened.

Wait. Did he just-? I might have just lost an opportunity to hang out with the nicest guy I’ve ever met.

I try to forget about it and continue with my day. But I can’t. I keep thinking about him all day long. Even when I need to be concentrating at work.

“… and it’s the third order you’ve got wrong.” My coworker’s voice brings me back from my daydreaming. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry girl but I don’t know where my mind is today.” Lies, lies, lies. I know exactly where it is – but I’m not about to tell her where. “I guess it’s one of those days” I laugh and go back front to avoid any more questions.

A couple of weeks go by, and my life goes back to normal. No more weird run-ins with handsome guys. God, I wish I could see him again.

“... he is really handsome.” I hear my two coworkers giggling while I’m getting ready to start my shift.

I roll my eyes, smiling a little. I work hard every day because I need the money to make my dream come true: opening my own bakery. Sometimes they don’t do the perfect job and I must jump in and do it myself, mostly because they get distracted by boys. But I understand them, I also was 18 once. Sometimes I feel old even though I’m only 23.

I finish tying my apron and go up front to start my shift.

“Hi, welcome to Fruity Paradise, what can I get for-” I shut up as soon as I look up from the screen. This can’t be true. What were the possibilities that Felix is here, at my job, and I’m the one taking his order. I hear my coworkers giggling behind me.

“Oh, hey again” he smiles. “I would like a mango smoothie, please”

I keep staring at his face, he’s more handsome than what I remember. He runs a hand through his blonde hair while he keeps smiling. It takes me a second to stop staring at him and place his order on the screen. I pick the glass and turn back to start making his smoothie.

I can feel someone’s eyes on me, so I turn back around. Unsurprisingly, he’s looking at me – unsurprisingly, I still feel myself jump when our gazes meet. I quickly turn back around, my heart at my throat.

I’m finishing pouring the mix into the blender when one of my coworkers comes next to me.

“He can’t keep his eyes off you, do you know him?” I hum.

“He’s so handsome, right?” my other coworker joins us. Awesome.

I rush to finish Felix’s order; I don’t want to explain why or how I know him.

I hand him his order and when I do, our hands touch. He smiles toothily.

“I was wondering, actually-,” something seems to get stuck on his throat and he coughs.

His freckles stand out against the blooming pink of his cheeks. He’s so cute it makes me a little light-headed - my heart races thinking that maybe I’m not the only one who’s nervous “would you like to go on a date with me?”

What?

“Oh-” I laugh nervously. Can I, for once, not turn into a ball of nerves? I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Yes, I would like to go on a date with you” I look down and notice that my apron has a dirty spot on it. Okay, well.

He hands me his phone with the contacts app open, and I add my number into his phone.

“I’ll text you, so that you can save my number back” and with that he goes to a table to drink his smoothie.

I smile at him and get back to serve the next costumer in line.

An hour later I see Felix leaving but I don’t even have time to say goodbye to him. Today seems like one of the busiest days we’ve had this week. I keep making smoothies until it’s close time.

Checking my phone on my way home I see that Felix has already texted me.

Felix: Hi :)

Felix: It’s Felix

I add his number back before replying.

Me: Hii!

Felix: are you still working?

Me: no! I’m omw home :)

Felix: nice!! Get home safely :)

I catch myself smiling at my phone. He’s so nice. I put my earphones on and listen to my favorite playlist on the way home. Once I arrive home, I say hello to Patches jr. and to my roommate. I go into the kitchen to bake something.

“Hey! You seem really happy today” my roommate hugs me. “Did something happen at work?”

I stay silent for a second, thinking about what to say. Should I lie right now? This thing feels too new - too fragile - to talk about. And frankly, I’m a little embarrassed ever since I saw how dumb my face looks when I think; let alone talk about Felix.

But he’s been my best friend since forever… I can’t make something up. He would know I’m lying right away.

“Are you going to tell me, or I will have to guess?” he looks at me without letting go of the hug.

“Mmm…” I grimace at myself. “Maybe I’ve met someone…”

He gasps.

“No!”

In the end, I tell him everything that has happened with Felix and how I feel about it. I really can’t keep anything from him, we tell each other everything. He’s the only one I can trust this much.

“So, you’re going on a date with him” he sounds more excited than me. “We need to get you the cutest outfit ASAP.”

“Chill, I still don’t know when or what are we going to do” I laugh at his excitement. “But if that means going shopping, it’s the perfect excuse”

The next morning, I wake up later than usual. I don’t have to go to work today so I decide to clean up the apartment. Since Jisung is working today I can blast my music to get myself in the mood of cleaning.

Two hours later I finish with everything and check my phone. To my surprise, Felix has texted me. I feel myself start to smile as soon as I see his name pop up on my screen - see? Disgusting.

Felix: about the date… when are you free?

Me: I’m free this Saturday! is that okay for you? :)

Felix: sure :)

Felix: I was thinking about going to Whisker of Expresso, what do you think?

I look up the place he’s suggesting for the date. Is a cat café!

Me: a cat café?! Sign me up!

We decide to meet there on Saturday. I should update Jisung on the plans and go out to buy that “cutest outfit” he kept mentioning last night.

The day of the date arrives, and I’m a ball of nerves. I’ve been getting ready for an hour now and I still can’t decide what to wear. Jisung and I went to the mall and bought more than one outfit option - which was a bad idea, because now I need to decide.

“I’m not going!” I say after the fourth outfit change.

Jisung rolls his eyes. “You looked amazing in the last outfit, and the one before that…” I shoot a death glare his way and go back inside my room.

Jisung prides himself in knowing me better than anyone else in the world - and he’s right. I suppose, though, that even best friends have their limits. I heave a sigh, pouting to myself a little.

My room is a mess of clothes right now (I can’t even see the bit of floor that separates my bed from the wardrobe). After a few more agonizing minutes, I decide that I’m going to wear a pair of bootcut jeans and a white, long sleeve top that has a heart cut out in the middle of it (the first outfit I tried on) (I hope Jisung is conveniently in the bathroom when I leave. He’s going to yell at me).

For my shoes I go with my favorite platform boots. And, of course, my tote bag.

I arrive at the cat café 10 minutes earlier than we’ve decided to meet and I decide to wait outside for Felix. I’m looking at my phone when I feel someone tap my shoulder.

“Hey!” I look up to find Felix right next to me. “You look really nice. I like your makeup.”

“Oh! Hi!” I smile at him “Thank you! You look good too” I return the compliment.

We head inside the café, and the first thing I notice inside is the beautiful decoration. Well, apart from the cats, obviously, but I feel like that one was a given. On the walls there’s film posters, but instead of the actors they’ve changed it to cats. The tables are small, and instead of chairs, people are sitting on soft-looking puffs, making it easier for the cats to approach them and hang out with them.

We walk to one of the tables and sit down on the puffs. As soon as we sit down, a cat approaches us.

“Oh, hello baby!” I immediately go to pet him. I spend a couple of minutes petting and “talking” to the cat.

“I’m starting to get a bit jealous” Felix says laughing.

“Sorry” I also laugh. “I really like cats”

“I was joking” he adds, still smiling a little. “I get it, I like them too. So, how was your day?”

We start having a small talk about our day while more cats approach us. After a couple of minutes, we get our coffees and the cake we’ve ordered.

“Wow, this velvet cake is amazing!”

“Cat and cake enthusiast?” he laughs. “If it’s that good, can I try it?” he takes a small bite when I nod.

“Oh, velvet cake has always been my favorite cake, it’s kind of my comfort cake” I confess “I bake it whenever I’m feeling sad”

“You bake?”

“Yes! I am in fact a certificated baker. My dream is to open my own bakery” I explain. “it’s been my dream since I was a child and I’m working hard to accomplish it”

“That’s so cool! You have to let me try one of your desserts sometime” he looks at me and we maintain eye contact for longer than I expected. I get so nervous I have to look down, petting the cat that has been sitting on my lap.

“Uh- yeah, of course!” I reply still looking at the cat.

Get yourself together.

“So, what do you do for a living?” I look back at him. When I do I see that he has his phone pointing at me. “What are you doing?” I laugh.

“Oh, you looked so cute while petting the cat that I had to take a photo” he shows me his phone. “I- I’ll delete. Sorry” he blushes.

“Oh! I do look good! Don’t delete” I laugh “but you have to send me the photo” I wink.

We keep looking at each other and I can’t help but look at his lips. This time I don’t look away and I lean closer to him. His hand comes close to my face, and he places a strand of my hair behind my ear. Then he starts caressing my cheek while he leans closer to me. So, I close the space between us, pressing our lips together. His other hand comes at my face, and I interlace my fingers behind his neck.

In that moment I knew this was the first of many dates.

#felix x reader #felix fic #stray kids fic #felix fluff #skz fluff #skz fic

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loveinhawkins · 1 year

Note

Sorry I just like bombed your blog lol but there's something different about the way you write. There's so much love in it the way they all just love each other so much without having to say it explicitly. I'm just 💞

Also I have a question about Self Sacrificial Steve 👀. Is there any plans/ideas of Eddie kind of telling Steve how bad it was when he left? Like Steve keeps doing this he doesn't matter and it would've been just fine if he was gone routine. And meanwhile it really almost killed the group. Like Eddie straight up didn't halfway remember what happened after and screamed so much he almost lost his voice. Nancy kinda just locked down. Robin screamed and had to hold Eddie back. Like I know he kinda showed it in one of the newest chapters but like 👀. I dont think Steve is really grasping yknow?

oh please never say sorry for that, i love seeing people enjoying my stuff, thank you ❤️ (also a side note to anyone who has sent me a message ily & i often hoard it in my inbox like a little treasure ❤️)

& yes the next part (all going well should be posted at some point tonight) will address more of what they need to process (if that sounds vague… uh it is. hehehe). & yeah i’m nodding along at your thoughts on Steve. rambling some more about his psyche under the read more.

imo Steve rationalising that him dying would’ve been the best outcome in a dire situation is partly a coping mechanism but also like… his fear over losing anyone outweighs his own self-preservation. while i think he understands in theory what everyone went through after he died, i think the full impact only starts to hit him when he sees Eddie struggling to recount how quick it was when he asks “how long did it take?”; when Eddie cries without realising & after Eddie’s nightmare. even after all that, i think Steve would still conclude that a reverse situation with Eddie or Robin or Nancy or any of the kids would be unthinkable. yeah, he’s still terrified throughout everything (him sobbing, “Eddie, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to die,” is that fear finally breaking through just before the end, he’s been trying to hold it back the whole time), but the greater fear & the one Vecna exploits is that he cannot keep everyone out of harm’s way, even by sacrificing himself. 💔

#i could talk about this all day but you’ll be glad to hear i won’t & will instead get on with the chapter lol #the self sacrificial steve agenda #loveinhawkins fic commentary

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hotxcheeto · 2 years

Note

HII!! I see your requests are open, i hope you wouldn’t mind me requesting this, i hope you know her lolol, but anyways I’ll get started anyways…

Can you do Vi, Caitlyn and Jinx with a S/O who has a Doja Cat personality and That the reader sings exactly like her?? I love doja cat a lot so you know…

thank you very much and I hope you have an amazing day :D

━ 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐉𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐓

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 - Vi, Jinx, Caitlyn, Sevika

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, sexual innuendos, alludes to sexual acts ( mostly Vi and Sevika but also in Caits at the end ), fluffy, angst if you look closely but barely any really

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BABES!! I hope you enjoy!! Also I added Sevika at the end just for the hell of it, you don't have to read it at all it's most for myself because I liked the idea but I did the other 3 as well!! ily sm thank you and have an amazing week! <3

☼ 𝐕𝐢 – Vi is... well she's Vi. She herself is very cocky and very Violet. You, are a great match. The amount of teasing and back and forth you both have is incredible, you can go on for hours just fucking with each other. Poking fun back and forth but it's all flirting and you both know it. And when you do flirt with each other, you flirt.

Now what she really loves is how you can call out a person whenever you think someone has gone too far or just pisses you off. You're quite bitchy to some, and loud but Vi doesn't care whatsoever. Sometimes you piss each other off though, I won't lie.

With your personalities you can crash at some points, both of you kind of go for the jugular when arguing because neither of you are afraid to say what's on your mind. Even if it's something incredibly hurtful that you don't realize. But, it usually works out after a long conversation or a long something else. You know you love each other, that's my point.

Finds you very funny as well. The way you both make fun of people you don't like is extraordinary, the back and forth insults are the best. Anyone in hearing range has to hold back their laughter.

But when it comes to your singing.. Vi can't get enough. Loves when you sing her to sleep, or perform at the speakeasies and bars in the area. When you're up on that stage, singing and in your element.Vi drools. Straight up... drools.

You've got her wrapped around your finger.

You're just so fucking perfect. Vi will never be able to get enough.

☼ 𝐉𝐢𝐧𝐱 – Thinking about it makes me smile. She loves you, and love the protectiveness you have. Being that you'll stand up for her at anytime and anywhere. Not afraid to speak your mind at all or clap back when you're in an argument. She giggles menacingly behind you. Jinx isn't the talk type, she mostly shoots and then never asks questions... she gets distracted easily and forgets.

You match the energy though, she rambles on and gets very excited. And if she's excited so are you, you both with get loud and talk enough to annoy Silco into digging his grave deeper. I'm not sorry.

You're Jinx's main hype-man let's be real. You often bring her out of the bad mindset with your energy and compliments. You're so confident and cheer her up so easily, you're also great at distracting her and making things fun once more.

Speaking of distraction, loves when you sing to her. Or watching you sing in The Last Drop. Sitting at the bar, slurping on her straw while your voice rings through the microphone and floods the place. Jinx has fallen asleep at the bar quite a few times.

When the voices get too bad and you can't make her smile and forget about them. You sing to her, it calms her down and even makes her sleepy. Jinx will sometimes just plop down in your lap and beg you to sing a song, any song she'll listen to.

It's mesmerizing and she can't get enough. You're like her Shimmer, and she's addicted.

☼ 𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐲𝐧 – Caitlyn can speak her mind, we know that. She's strong and independent and you're all the same. Just louder. Confident and very flirty. You made her bright red the first time you met her, and usually she has the best pick up lines, you definitely won that one.

You're very ' I don't give a fuck if you hate me ' energy is what makes her love you even more. The way you flaunt and hold yourself makes her drool and Caitlyn is usually drooled over. Not that you don't. But you speak your mind, at the right and wrong times. Especially towards her shitty coworkers that think she doesn't deserve her job despite working her ass off.

You do not like them and you make it very known. Much to Caitlyn's want to shut you up sometimes, she loves you for it. Very much, because you know her inside out and you're very easily to talk to for her. Caitlyn's knows her status, and knows how she's perceived, but you see her for Cait.

Not for Caitlyn Kiramman The Councilors Daughter.

And when Caitlyn first met you, adn heard your singing voice she about dropped dead. It was her favorite sound then and her favorite sound now. Sometimes when she can't sleep and the tea isn't helping, you'll sing to her quietly. Even if it's an upbeat song, hearing your soothing voice is the best remedy to her sleeping or stress problems.

And hearing you perform when she can, especially all dressed up at a fancy event. Cait loves to say how she's dating the singer, even if her mother isn't very pleased with it.

Cassandra likes you, just not when you sneak into Caitlyn's room after a very good performance to give her daughter another one.

☼ 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 – You met her while singing at The Last Drop. The sultry gaze you gave her made sure you had a very long night after your song was over. And thus a relationship ensues.

You often sit with her while she plays poker, on her lap for everyone to see and you're a brat let's be real. You're catty and poke fun at the other players, you even get on Sevika's nerves once in a while which she makes sure to remind you of later. But the insults you throw out here and there and the flirty teasing you give the guys right before they lose practically everything.

Well it gets her grinning.

You are a power couple, she's quit but Sevika talks and teases. She's funny honestly, and you being the loud version of it, the much prouder talker, well you both are a force to reckoned with. You both are the couple everyone doesn't fuck with. And you're her soft spot, you're her little royal baby that comes and sits on her knee after you're done singing.

Speaking of singing, Sevika loves your voice. Hearing you up there will have you in bed for hours. But it's also something Sev finds comfort in, like a lot of comfort. Sev like all the others loves when you sing to her. Just for her. Whether it's while you're doing something or to her after a long and frustrating job.

She loves your voice. Singing and while making... other noises.

A/n: LOLOLOLOLOL

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smoosnoom · 1 year

Note

i think this daily compliment will be long :)

i want to start with the title, bc as a non-native i just learned what a “salubrious” is. thanks for enriching my vocabulary i guess.

so i highlighted a few phrases that i particularly liked:

“Contrary to popular belief, he doesn’t like crying” yeah... cause will isn’t crybaby, just something doesn’t allow him to live in peace and without tears.

“voice the bare skeleton of what it should be” ur analogies 🥺

“and the reminder of what he’s lost makes him cry just a little harder” oh will :( this boy already awakens my maternal instinct and it breaks my heart that he has a broken heart.

“He’s a mistake when he’s awake, a murderer in his sleep, and a monster in both” i was starting into the void for a couple of minutes when i first read this.

“The air is cool and tasteless” you so accurately conveyed the state after a panic attack, when you calmed down and begin to notice such small things like air temperature.

“Mike holds him like he isn’t revolted, isn’t disgusted by the mess that Will is” and he isn’t!! every time will thinks badly of himself a piece of my soul dies.

“Mike feels all-encompassing, bigger than life, with long limbs and a bold personality” once again: i love the way you write! for some reason i felt so happy and satisfied after i read this sentence.

“you know you’re my best friend” im too soft for a reminder that they are best friends above all. like i know everything about you and still love you.

““I care about you,” Mike repeats, like he’s trying to say something else” the way you don't make Mike say "I love you". he’s a teenager, and scared, and in love with his best friend. of course he’ll choose another word.

“Mike’s staring problem seems to be heightened, now, when he shamelessly looks at Will” as he should! will is too pretty to not look at him.

“and Will feels vulnerable and exposed, but he’s also tired, and – it’s Mike” you emphasize one more time that they’re best friends and know each other better than anyone else. and that's why i love them so much.

“He fists the hand on Mike’s chest, and tugs him closer by the shirt, and Mike meets him halfway” i love that even though will is scared he still does something, still pulls mike closer.

“Will doesn’t deserve this kind of care. Mike keeps kissing him like he does” he does :( my poor little insecure boy.

“Mike is warm all over” nothing special im just a firm believer that despite the fact that mike is made of bones and skin he always has warm hands.

i also liked how mike left kisses on will's face. it's always so tender and sensual and vulnerable.

one again ily, i love you, I LOVE YOU. idk how many times i could repeat it bc i genuinely love u and how u create this fluttery worm things in my stomach ♥️

(im so sorry for such a long comment)

phhggmy god . jesuss christ im having heart palpitations i need u Permanently expelled from the face of the earth i am using u as a garnish i am feeding u fish food ohh my god . I Love U

if it helps i Also just learned what salubrious means ! i am always trying to expand my vocab :D

EXACTLYLY u get me so well . will doesn't Like crying but his life is literally a shakespearian tragedy it ISNT HIS FAULTTT

my analogies . what if we smooched

anytime will byers comes onto the screen i feel like a mother Joyce Byers I Understand You

HEELKGP so sorry for sending u into some sort of crisis 😭

:D im so glad u think so !!! i try rly hard on those kinds of aspects, i did it in "asunder" as well with him trying to calm himself down !!!! imssoo happy u thought so !!!!

will byers Therapy arc when

!!!!! thank u so much what if i figuratively literally die

YEYEYS they were friends first !!! they have that stable foundation !!!!! it will always come first !!!!!! that's why they work so well !!!!!!!!!

that is so true and real mike wheeler is a little scared too and i think that's valid

SSOOO TRUE will byers i need to paint him immediately

friends to lovers my adored <3

i think that's their whole dynamic u know Like . even tho they're both scares they still care abt each other and want each other close . despite the fear . Yeah

will byers Therapy arc Part Two

!!!!! and with will's aversion to the cold !!!!! mike warming him up !!!!!! daily anon u get me like no one else

YAYAYYYYY im so happy u liked the kisses i hoped it wasn't cringe or fail or loserish or Yikes !!!!! thankuuu so much

i Love u actually . i am taking u off to greece and we r sharing a bowl of strawberries . thank u always for being so so kind to me, u cheer me up endlessly !!! thank u !!!!!! 🫂🫂

#/ask #daily alya #long post #wow #anon u were Not Messing Around #AND NEVERRRR APPLOGIZE AGAIN #ill track u down and steal all ur fucking shoes

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taeghi · 2 years

Text

lee heeseung - the brother's best friend trope

"what if he comes home early?" "then we're fucked, but at least we'll be fucked together."

summary : keeping your crush on heeseung a secret from heeseung was hard, but keeping it a secret from sunghoon was even harder. what do you do when you accidentally fall in love with your older brothers best friend?

you sneak around behind his back of course.

word count : 29,000 (how did i do that lol)

includes : severe angst, fluff and smut

read the other volumes?

PART 2 HERE

🤎 minors do NOT interact

taglist : @srirachibi @ryu-naa @blank-velvet @hoonstrology @person-standing @yuakagi @moasworld @rein-deer-stuffs @ily-cuz-i @lix-freckle3 @leeis @turnipsandflowerss @hoewithnojams @liliansun @melaninjhs @sunshine-skz @andromedawillburryyou (sorry if i forgot anyone, please reblog!!!)

being park sunghoon's little sister was difficult.

it was difficult already to have an older brother that annoys you every five seconds, but it was even more difficult because he just had to have hot friends.

hot friends that sunghoon made sure knew that you were completely off-limits.

when sunghoon entered high school, he was immediately somehow made popular and quickly made a small friend group with the other popular boys in his grade; jay park and jake shim. another boy, who was a year older than sunghoon also hung out with them quite frequently; lee heeseung.

though you were only a year younger than sunghoon, he treated you like you were five years old. your friends thought that it was sweet that sunghoon was so protective of you- but you thought the complete opposite about it. since he treated you like a baby- that meant his friends treated you like a baby.

sunghoon's friends knew that if he ever caught them even glancing at you for more than a mere second, they would get reprimanded by sunghoon in an instant. sometimes they even thought that sunghoon was a little too protective of you, but then again sunghoon knows how his friends think and how they treat girls. he doesn't want you to get heartbroken like the thousand other girls they have played.

the first time you ever saw lee heeseung was when you were just starting year 8 at your school. sunghoon had brought home heeseung one day after school so they could play some video games together. heeseung was in year 10 at the time, and he was just starting to grow into his features. that didn't stop you from almost physically drooling over him when he first stepped foot into your kitchen.

you remember your mother introducing herself to heeseung, smiling at him and welcoming them into your home, but what she said exactly is all a blur because you were so in shock about how and why this hot guy was friends with your brother.

"that's y/n, but you don't have to talk to her she's pretty annoying." sunghoon's voice got you out of your drooling session. sunghoon pointed his thumb over his shoulder at you before going into the fridge to get him and heeseung a drink before they head up to his room.

"hi, y/n." heeseung said softly with a smile as he stood at the table beside you, waiting for your brother.

"hi." you forced yourself to say, surprising yourself when it came out in a normal tone.

"okay, my room's this way, i'll show you my games and we can play whatever one you want." sunghoon shrugged, leading heeseung up the stairs. "oh and y/n," sunghoon stopped and called to you from the middle of the staircase, making heeseung turn back around to look at you, "don't bug us, seriously, i mean it."

"wha- i won't!" your jaw dropped out of embarrassment and ridicule, "why would i wanna go into your musty room anyways." you rolled your eyes, turning your body away so they wouldn't see the flash of pink on your cheeks from the humiliation.

"shut up, it is not musty." sunghoon grumbled, turning again to head upstairs, you heard a soft chuckle from heeseung as he also turned around and followed your brother up the stairs.

after that day, you saw heeseung at your house a couple of times per month, along with jay and jake. they quickly turned into regular guests at your house, walking into your residence without even knocking by the end of the school year. your parents had started acting like they had just randomly gained three extra sons.

at first, whenever you were around jay or jake, you could sense that they were a bit reluctant to talk to you. you figured that it was just because you were younger than them. there would be times when jay and you would be cracking jokes in the living room whilst he waited for your brother to finish getting ready, and as soon as he heard sunghoon come down the stairs, jay would back away from you and act as if he didn't know anything about you.

jake didn't really care if sunghoon saw him smile at you, or even just acknowledge your presence. though, you could tell sunghoon got a bit annoyed when he saw jake interacting with you. still, jake would never be caught dead being alone in a room with you, just in case, sunghoon decided to end their friendship then and there because of it.

heeseung, on the other hand, the one that was the most introverted out of all of them, did not care about sunghoon's stupid over-protectiveness of you. heeseung always made sure to say hi to you, to open the door for you when you all started walking to high school together. he didn't care about what sunghoon said or thought because heeseung knew how much sunghoon trusted and adored him. sure, it was annoying seeing his best friend talking to his little sister, but not as annoying as seeing jay or jake talk to her.

sunghoon and his friends loved to party.

usually, the party would happen at your house since your parents frequently liked to go away on weekends- whether it was work-related or if they just needed a little getaway.

during your first year in high school, sunghoon and his friends were having another notorious party at your house. sunghoon had forbidden you to come downstairs and join the party.

you argued with him for hours, but eventually gave up when he didn't seem to be budging.

for hours that night, you heard the music blasting downstairs, along with other teenagers laughing and seemingly having the time of their lives. you so badly wanted to go downstairs and join them.

you lay awake in your dark bedroom, the only light in the room from the moon that shone through your white curtains. every now and then you would hear someone in the hallway, either laughing or whispering until they eventually found a room to crash in.

you mentally apologized to your parents for leaving their bedroom door unlocked.

you think you were just about to fall asleep to the heavy bass downstairs until your phone vibrated on your bedside table beside you.

heeseung 🤎 : are you awake?

you immediately sat up in your bed, sleep leaving you and now being replaced with adrenaline.

why was lee heeseung wondering if you were awake at this late hour?

you scoffed at the thought, probably checking to see if you were up past your bedtime.

you : yeah i am

there was a quick reply from him.

heeseung 🤎 : can i come see you?

you : sure

you started brushing down your hair, hoping that it didn't look too crazy from your head grazing your pillow. your blanket is wrapped around your chest as you wait for him. unsure of what to expect from him.

when ten minutes go by with no sign of him, you sigh and lay back down again, thinking that he's forgotten about you, wouldn't be the first time, you mentally deadpanned, cringing at the memory.

a few months ago, heeseung was staying the night at your house like he usually does. only this time, sunghoon was away with your parents at your aunt's house for her birthday. you had stayed behind because you weren't feeling well and didn't want to get the rest of your family sick. your parents thought that it would be okay to leave you there for the weekend, as heeseung could help watch over you.

it was late at night, probably around the same time that it is now, and you hear heeseung laughing downstairs. you figured that maybe he was watching a tv show or scrolling on his phone.

until you heard a girl's voice.

you remember feeling like all the hairs on your body stood up at once as you took in what was probably happening downstairs. you weren't sure what to do.

you heard heeseung and the girl come upstairs and walk past your bedroom, into his- into the guest- bedroom. you remember closing your eyes and trying to imagine that this wasn't happening. the guy that you liked wasn't about to have sex with a girl in the room beside yours! no, of course not!

that thought worked for maybe five minutes until you heard the soft rocking of the bed against the wall across the room from you.

"shit," you whispered to yourself, your hands coming up to cover your face as you tried to accept your reality.

low grunts and high moans were being heard in the house now. every now and then you could hear the girl whimper out heeseung's name. you tried to not pay attention to it, but the more you listened the more insight you got on what heeseung was like in bed.

your thighs clamped together as you continued to listen. you felt so dirty but your panties were getting soaked at the thought of sweaty heeseung leaning over you and pounding into you just as hard as he was pounding into the girl in the other room.

her moans were getting louder and louder and you figured she was getting close to her climax- the climax that heeseung was giving her.

if you tried really hard, you could tune out her moans and hear heeseung's grunts, you could tell that he was whispering something to her every now and then, with the way his grunts would stop and her loud whines would answer him.

the bed stopped rocking, and their moans and grunts came to a stop. and your house returned to the silence that it once was. you strained your ears to try to hear something, but there was nothing. you figured that they had passed out right after they finished.

you tried to stop, but your fingers danced their way down to your panties, needing to get off because of lee heeseung once again. you had only ever imagined him in a sexual way, but now you had some fuel for your fantasies.

the next morning, you woke up to the sound of the front door opening and closing. quickly remembering the events of the night before, you ran to your window and sneakily looked outside to see who had left.

heeseung was standing outside on the front step in only grey sweatpants as he hugged the girl goodbye.

you didn't know exactly who the girl was, but you knew that she was in your grade. she was really pretty, you had heard some other boys in your classes talk about her before. she was slim and popular and you knew that she was on the dance team at school. there was no wonder as to why heeseung would want to have sex with her. she was borderline perfect.

they pulled away from their hug and she started walking down the street to leave, heeseung came back inside.

you quietly ran into the bathroom before heeseung came back upstairs. you left your bedroom door opened to indicate that you were no longer in there.

you took a long sigh as you looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked exhausted and stressed, something so much different than the way the pretty girl looked in the morning. you felt your pounding headache come back at all the thoughts that occurred the night before.

when you reopened the bathroom door, heeseung was standing at the top of the stairs, a look of surprise and shock on his face as he looked at you. at least he was wearing a sweater now, you didn't know how you were supposed to talk to him while he was shirtless.

"oh! y/n! hi!" heeseung greeted, scratching the back of his neck, "sorry, i, uh, forgot you were home this weekend too, how are you feeling?" he smiled at you, taking in your appearance.

suddenly feeling self-conscious and awkward, you wrapped your sweater closed around you, "I'm feeling a bit better." you shrugged at him, trying to keep cool as if you didn't just hear him fuck the living shit out of a girl last night - and then got off on it after!

"that's good!" heeseung nodded, and a beat of silence passes through you two, "sorry, if i was loud last night, i didn't mean to keep you up if i did."

"no you weren't!" you let out quickly, heeseung put a small smile on your face, "i mean uh, i didn't hear anything, i took some cold medicine and passed out until this morning."

"oh, okay. that's probably why you feel better now."

"yeah! exactly! so uh, I'm just, gonna go back to bed for a little while longer, i guess." you pointed at your bedroom door behind him.

"oh, you don't wanna watch a movie or anything? i was thinking we could watch one of sunghoon's movies that he forbids you to watch, don't worry, i wouldn't tell him." heeseung smiled at you.

"uh, maybe not today. i just want to sleep the rest of this cold off." you nodded, looking down at the carpet.

"aw, okay. i hope you feel better, y/n!" heeseung patted you on the back sincerely.

"Thanks." you got out quickly, making a dart for your bedroom, wanting to get away from his touch even if it was something so platonic. you sighed out of relief as you closed your bedroom door, thank god he didn't hear you that night.

but now, as the party downstairs continued and your heart was racing with anxiety while your mind was racing with thoughts of heeseung, you couldn't help but feel hurt with the fact that he had forgotten you again. why would he even text you in the first place?

suddenly your bedroom door slowly opened, the music getting louder for a second as a figure slipped quietly before shutting it again. you sat up as heeseung turned to look at you.

"'m sorry, were you sleeping?" heeseung whispered out to you as he approached your bed. you were sure if he got closer to you, he would be able to hear how fast and loud your heart was beating. you tried to speak out but all you could think was lee heeseung is in my bedroom, so you shook your head no.

heeseung bent over your bed, allowing a small scent of alcohol to wash around your room. he was drunk.

"i wish sunghoon would let you join our parties." heeseung slurred, his hands holding his upper body up on your bed.

"why?" you asked, amused at heeseung's drunk confession.

"because i wanna hang out with you."

your heart raced faster, trying to piece words together to reply to him.

"sunghoon treats you like a little girl just because you're his little sister but i know you're not so little. you're a grown teenager now."

your heart swelled now, happy that finally, finally, someone didn't see you as a baby. you were glad that that person was heeseung.

"thank you," you whispered back quietly, trying to hold your giant smile in from his words. you heard him deeply chuckle in response. "why'd you wanna come to talk to me anyway?"

"because i wanted to see you, i always have fun with you."

"mm," you nodded, playing with your blanket out of nervousness, "i have fun with you, too." heeseung smiled at that.

"you look pretty in the moonlight."

your eyes widened at his compliment, unsure of what to say. heeseung's deep chuckle broke the silence between you, "fuck, i think i drank too much, sunghoon would kill me if he knew i was in here."

"no, it's okay." you shook your head, gaining some confidence to look at him as he stood up straight again.

heeseung scoffed, "sunghoon would most definitely not think it was okay."

"who cares what hoon thinks? you said so yourself, i'm not a little girl. i can talk to whoever i want."

you see heeseung bite his lip in your dark room, he stares at you intently as if he's contemplating what to do before he snaps out of it. he turns his head away from you and brushes his bangs out of his face.

"fuck, i should go. i'll see you tomorrow, or at school now, i guess." heeseung smiled, "it's cool seeing you in the hallways now." you smiled down at your blanket again, not wanting heeseung to see your blush.

"see you at school, hee."

heeseung smiled once he was back in the hallway, happy to hear his nickname slip off of your tongue so easily.

heeseung never came into your bedroom ever again after then, and never mentioned the incident. you wondered if he even remembered talking to you that night since he was so intoxicated. if your little interaction affected him you'd never know, but it did increase your attraction to him.

summer breaks at your house were always fun since your family had a pool. the parties were more fun in the summer than you'd know since you never got to go to them, but you heard around school that everyone liked your pool.

you liked when just the regular boys would come over; jake, jay, and of course heeseung, when sunghoon would let you hang out with him and his friends for once.

you were sitting on one of the chairs by the pool, reading a book that you weren't really interested in but you were so bored. the four boys were splashing around in the pool, having fun. you were in your own world until cold, wet hands came and picked you up from your chair, making you drop your book at the action.

"sunghoon! no!" you cried out while laughing, your older brother picking you up over his shoulder and making a straight bee-line to the pool. "no!" you laughed mid-air as he threw you into the pool.

when you resurfaced you put a teasing scowl on your face as you looked up at your brother who still stood at the edge of the pool, bent over from laughing. "sunghoon, no!" he mocked your voice.

"shut up!" you whined, pushing your now wet hair back away from your face so it looked a bit cleaner.

"now you're gonna play chicken fight with us, right y/n?" jake smiled at you from across the pool.

"hell no!" you shook your head, you've seen them play chicken fight before and they were ruthless.

"just play one game y/n! we'll put you up against jake so you can win!" jay laughed, shoving jake beside him.

"what the hell is that supposed to mean? jake gasped looking offended.

"come man, you know you suck at chicken fight." sunghoon said, getting back into the pool.

"come on y/n, you can be on my team." heeseung said from beside you, you weren't sure how he got there, but his perfect smile and sun-tanned skin easily persuaded you to cave in and play one game with them.

"okay." you agreed, and next thing you know you're being lifted out of the water and onto heeseung's shoulders. you laugh as you try to balance yourself on top of him. his warm hands wrapping around your thighs to help you.

"you good?" heeseung asked you, trying to look up at you above him.

"yeah! we better win!" you cheered out.

"as if," jake responded, him now sitting on top of jay's shoulders, "we're gonna win so don't even try y/n!"

heeseung and jay started moving closer to each other with you and jake on their shoulders. your hands were pushed out in front of you, ready to defend yourself against jake.

"come here, jakey." you teased out to him, showing him that you're ready.

"you're gonna get it, y/n, i mean it!" jake called out, his hands pushing against yours already.

it took a few pushes and pulls, but luckily, heeseung is really good at balancing you and himself against jay and jake's efforts.

with one final push to jake's forearms, he goes falling back into the water, taking jay with him.

"god, jake! did you have to trap my head in between your legs?" jay sputtered as he came out from the water.

"Sorry! i was stressed!" jake replied sheepishly.

"woohoo! good game y/n!" heeseung cheered, setting. you down into the water and high fiving you.

"i told you we'd win!" you pointed your finger at jake who only pouted in response, making everyone else laugh at him. you felt immense pride in your and heeseung's teamwork, wishing that you could be on heeseung's team all the time now.

later on, when you got out of the pool, ready to go back inside, you could feel someone's eyes on you. sunghoon had gone inside to get a drink, leaving only you and his three friends.

out of the corner of your eye, you could see that it was jay staring at you. his lip tucked in between his teeth as he stared at your legs. feeling suddenly naked under his and probably the other two's eyes, you went to grab your towel to find that it was already gone. fucking sunghoon. he probably didn't realize that he took your towel, but god what a wrong time to mistake it.

"here, y/n." heeseung said from beside you suddenly, "you can use mine." you look down and see that he's giving you his towel to wrap around your body.

"uh, thanks hee, i'll get sunghoon to bring out another one for you." you smiled, trying to quickly wrap it around your body so it was out of view for others to see. it's not like you cared if anyone looked, but you were so socially anxious around hot boys that it made you want to cover up before they could stare at you further.

"no problem." heeseung smiled, moving aside so you could go inside. you stayed by the screen door for a second once you were in, letting go of the breath you were apparently holding in.

"c'mon, man, sunghoon could've been right there!" you heard heeseung's voice grunt out suddenly.

"i know i know! i can't help it! did you see her?' jay's voice carried out, desperation evident in his voice.

"fuck, jay, we can't be talking about this, you know she's off-limits." heeseung replied with frustration.

off-limits.

it rang through your head over and over again and you hated it. you hated sunghoon for treating you like a baby. you hated him for having such hot friends. you hated him for ruining your chances with lee heeseung. if you ever had any. it seemed like you could get any one of their attention besides heeseungs.

and that was something you would make sure would change.

when heeseung graduated high school the next year, it was a sad day for everyone, including your parents. you tried to hide your sadness at the thought of not seeing heeseung around as much since he was to go to college in the capital city, a few hours away from your hometown.

heeseung would no longer be caught raiding your fridge for food at 3am, no longer seen sitting on the bottom step waiting for sunghoon to finish getting ready, and no longer heard laughing about something stupid in the living room.

but of course, you couldn't tell anyone about how upset you were about heeseung leaving. sunghoon would absolutely kill you if he heard that you had a crush on his best friend. plus, you knew that all heeseung ever saw you as was his best friend's annoying little sister.

since your parents were basically losing their non-biological son to college, they decided to have a huge dinner on the night after graduation. the night before, sunghoon, jay, jake, and heeseung had all gone to a graduation party and returned back to your house completely wasted at 5am. when your parents and you woke up the next day, you weren't even sure where the boys were until they all wandered down the stairs at dinner time. they all looked absolutely hungover that it made you chuckle when sunghoon sat down beside you.

"shut it, y/n." sunghoon grumbled to you, shoving your shoulder as he waited or your parents to start bringing the dinner to the table.

"i didn't say anything, hoon." you teased, playing with your fork as you avoided eye contact with your older brother.

"you didn't have to, i can see what you're thinking on that stupid face of yours." sunghoon rolled his eyes.

"god, you're so-" you started but was cut off by your mother bringing in the large chicken she had spent the past two days on making.

"okay!" she interrupted with a smile, obviously trying to avoid the both of you fighting. "here's the chicken! everyone starts to dig in!"

immediately all the boys began taking pieces of chicken and other side foods and putting them on their plates. your mother looked pleased with everyone hungrily taking the food and enjoying themselves with the taste. your father was even eating with a smile on his face.

"so y/n," jay smirked at you from across the table, "how's intak?" he tried to hide his smirk by taking a bite of his food.

"who the damn hell is, intak?" sunghoon grumbled, looking at you with a face of disgust.

"hwang intak." jay responded with a quirk of his eyebrows.

"sunghoon, do you have to use such language?" your mother tsked at your brother before turning to you, "i'm sure he's a nice boy, right y/n?"

"first of all, none of your business sunghoon, and how do you know about intak? NOT like there's much to know anyway." you pointed your fork at jay.

"jungwon." jay shrugged at you casually, "he told me he heard that intak has a crush on youu." jay teased you.

fucking jungwon. jungwon was a year younger than you and somehow became friends with your brother and his friends. jungwon was known for starting or spreading drama. and you hated him. he was always spying on you and trying to suck up to your brother.

"ouuuu." jake added to your teasing.

"and so what if he does?" you tried to fight back during your teasing, feeling embarrassed in front of them. your eyes glanced towards heeseung quickly, expecting to see him with the same teasing smile that jay and jake adorned.

though instead, he wore a deep frown, and a look of worry was spread across his eyes, his fork loosely dragging around his food on the plate.

"if he has a crush on you, he's dead," sunghoon stated from beside you, stabbing his chicken with his fork harshly before plopping the piece in his mouth.

"my goodness, sunghoon! don't speak like that!" your mother tsked your brother again with a gasp at his words, "i think it's sweet that he has a crush on y/n." your mother smiled at you.

"it's whatever." you shrugged, turning your head away from everyone at the table, suddenly feeling self conscious at heeseung's reaction.

"do you not like him back, sweetie?" your mother asked you, watching your demeanor change.

the truth is that you thought intak was cute, and he was sweet and kind to you. you tried to like him back at first, but you just couldn't find yourself liking him more than a friend. your friends thought that you were insane to not like a boy like intak back, but you couldn't help it- your heart was already in the depths with someone else even if you couldn't act upon it.

"not really," you mumbled back as an answer.

"good." sunghoon exaggertaly nodded at you.

"shut up, hoon." you rolled your eyes at him with a small smile, your eyes glancing at heeseung once again, this time his shoulders seemed perkier as his eyes met yours. a smirk on his pretty lips at you before digging into his food once again.

the last satuday night before heeseung had to leave for college in early september, the boys had all decided to throw a party at your house as one final goodbye to their highschool days with heeseung. your parents went to your grandparents house for the weekend for a visit, leaving you, sunghoon and the rest of his friends alone in the house with enough time to party. sunghoon had begged his parents to force you to go with them to your grandparents house, but your parents said that it would be fine if you stayed, just so you could see heeseung for the last time, too.

sunghoon had even tried to get you to sleepover at one of your friends house for the night, "seriously y/n just go anywhere! i don't care where just somewhere far from here!" he groaned as he followed you to your bedroom, leaning on your door frame as he watched you sit down at your desk.

"i said no! i want to stay here! why can't i stay in my own house?" you responded, sitting back in your chair to look at your annoyed brother.

"because! its a senior welcome and goodbye party! no one wants your junior ass hanging around!"

"well i won't be the only junior there!"

"what do you mean?"

"i invited sunoo over for a sleepover." you smiled, crossing your arms over your chest.

"oh god!" sunghoon groaned, "fine you can stay! but you can't come downstairs!"

"hm, do you know what? i think i should tell mom about the party, i'm sure she'd want to be here to greet everyone."

"you wouldn't dare."

"you wanna bet?"

"god, you're the worst." sunghoon shook his head, grabbing the handle of your door and closing it after himself, leaving you alone with the feeling of success growing in your chest.

sunoo rang your home's doorbell at 8pm sharp, an hour before the party was set to officially begin. excitement filled you as you thought about the fun night ahead of you for your best friend and you.

"i'll get it!" you yelled from upstairs, rushing down the hall from your bedroom, down the stairs to the front door. you swung the door open and revealed sunoo smiling to show that he was just as excited as you were. his pink hair was styled neatly you noticed as he wrapped you up in a hug.

"hi!" he exclaimed, excitedly rocking you back and forth in the embrace. "tonight's gonna be so much fun!"

"i know!" you responded, pulling away from him so he could enter your home, closing the door after him.

"what. the fuck. are you wearing." you heard sunghoon state from behind you, you sighed and turned around to face your older brother. the look of disappointment and annoyance on his face made you want to curl up in a ball from embarrassment and punch him in the face at the same time.

behind sunghoon you heard a surprised "oop" from jake as he saw your outfit and immediately turned him and jay around to avoid sunghoon getting angry at them for looking at his sister.

though, beside sunghoon stood heeseung looking as attractive as ever with his eyes wide open in shock as he scanned your body. you noticed him gulp hard as his eyes seemed to not be able to leave your bare thighs. heeseung finally snapped out of his daze when you spoke back to sunghoon.

"what does it look like i'm wearing? it's a dress." you rolled your eyes, your arms coming across your chest, pushing your breasts together, making heeseung bite his lip at the sight in front of him.

"THAT'S a DRESS?" sunghoon exclaimed, pointing at your outfit before walking up to you and shaking his head, "no. no. no. you are not wearing that. go upstairs and change or you're not allowed to leave your room all night and i mean it." his words made sunoo pout from beside you, making sunghoon glance at him briefly with annoyance.

"what are you? my fucking dad? i can wear what i want, sunghoon." you argued, standing up to your brother.

"y/n i don't care what you want, just go fucking change." sunghoon's voice dropped to show that he was more serious than ever. your shoulders drooped in a sign of defeat to once again, your brother.

"you're the worst," you mumbled to him, turning away from him to go back to your bedroom, sunoo smiling awkwardly at him before he followed you.

at the top of the stairs, you glanced back down and met heeseung's eyes, quickly smiling at him with a knowing smile before you were out of each other's sight. it took heeseung a moment to realize you were smiling at him, shaking his head softly with a smirk as he turned away from the stairs and followed the rest of the boys to the kitchen again. he hoped to god no one noticed the effect you had on him.

"did you see heeseung eye fucking you!" sunoo practically yelled once you two were in your bedroom.

"shh!" you hurriedly shushed him, both of you straining to listen for any yelling but all seemed quiet downstairs, "imagine what sunghoon would've done if he heard you!" you laughed, "and yes i saw him!"

"oh my god, y/n! he was so close to just taking you right then and there i was about to just leave the room to make it easier for him!"

"shut up!" you hit sunoo's shoulder, "you're crazy!"

"i am not!" sunoo fell back onto your bed with a final laugh. "what are you gonna do about it?"

"what do you mean?" you asked him, going through your closet to find another outfit that would be deemed "sunghoon approved".

"i mean, now that we know that lee heeseung has the hots for you, what's the plan for getting him into bed with you?" sunoo shrugged casually as if he was pointing out the obvious.

"ohhh riight," you replied sarcastically, "cause as if that is ever gonna happen." you pulled out a long-sleeved, dark blue dress and held it up to your body, looking at yourself in the mirror quickly before turning around to show sunoo it.

"why wouldn't it happen?" sunoo whined, "who cares about your brother, i'm sure heeseung doesn't since he couldn't force himself to look away from you! and yes! wear that dress." you laughed at sunoo before turning back to the mirror to examine yourself.

"don't let me get my hopes up sunoo," you sighed, "he's my brother's best friend, not in a million years would we get to be together."

by 10pm, your house was filled with intoxicated teenagers, all trying to fulfill their final senior in high school moments, or hang out with their now college freshmen friends for a final time.

you had lost sight of sunghoon or any of his friends an hour ago, all of them getting lost in the moment of the party with their other friends. though, you still knew that everyone at the party knew who you were- park sunghoon's sister- and that you were totally and strictly off-limits. you rationalized that that was why no one was talking to you or sunoo, but it was also probably because you two were the youngest ones there and were deemed as 'losers' at school.

there was always a different thought that came to mind when someone thought of park sunghoon and then park y/n.

park sunghoon : popular, talented, hot- a guy that uses girls for sex just like all his friends.

and then park y/n : park sunghoon's geeky little sister that wasn't allowed to leave her house after 6pm.

"hey, cheer up," sunoo tried to reassure you, "don't let your asshole brother ruin tonight for you."

you smiled at your friend, greatful for him, "i know, i know. he just pisses me off so much."

"then drink," sunoo said, pushing your hand that held your cup towards your mouth, "and let it go so we can have fun!"

"fine," you stated, tipping your cup all the way back, finishing the full cup. you winced at the strong taste of liquor, making you and sunoo laugh before going and getting another.

it wasn't long before the alcohol started helping you relax a b it and forget about your reputation, wanting to just let go and have fun. you had lost sunoo in the crowd in your house a while ago, both of you getting sucked into different dancing crowds. you couldn't force yourself to care, too focused on dancing and listening to the loud music.

everyone around you was too focused on having their own fun time to pay attention to you and others. you didn't recognize anyone around you. it felt great to let go for once and not worry about others. it felt you fit in normally for once and weren't marginalized from the kids in your generation.

"you look like you're having fun." a male's voice said into your ear from behind you. you quietly gasped at the sudden voice, thanking the music for being loud enough for the boy behind you to hear it. you turn your head so you could glance at who it was.

you immediately recognized him as choi beomgyu, one of the boys that had just graduated with heeseung. you've seen him around a bunch of times at school, he was friends with your brother and they hung out a lot.

choi beomgyu was known for being an extremely good guitar player, he made a lot of girls fall for him it. when you were in year 9, a couple of girls in your year made a list of all the attractive 2001's in your school, and you remember beomgyu being second on the list- right after heeseung.

beomgyu was also known for having a thing for girls younger than him. of course he'd never go for a freshman while he was a senior, but tons of girls in your grade were played by him this year. you'd always hear about it in passing in the halls or in class. all the girls he'd talk to were pretty and outgoing, always on the cheer team or the dance team where they could show their extravertedness.

so you were shocked that the choi beomgyu would pay attention to you at a party. the shy, introverted, and babied y/n.

"i am." you replied to beomgyu, looking him in the eyes without turning your body towards him. leaving his crotch to grind on your ass. his hands held onto your waist as he urged you to keep dancing like you were before without him.

"i see," beomgyu nodded before leaning further into your ear, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, "do you think you could have fun with me, too?" the closeness and warmth of beomgyu were suddenly so vivid that you felt like you were drunk and high at the same time. your head becomes cloudy with thoughts of what will happen tonight and how much fun you could have especially if choi beomgyu was around.

"dance with me a little longer and you'll find out," you whispered back to him with a tone of teasing in your voice. beomgyu obviously liked your answer by the deep chuckle that escaped his lips and the grip on your waist tightened as if to say you're his for the night now.

dancing with beomgyu gave you so much confidence that it made you wish everyone could see you now- park sunghoon's baby sister is grinding with choi beomgyu. you wonder what they would all think if they saw it. you wonder what heeseung would think.

at the thought of heeseung you opened your eyes and were visibly shocked when they were met with heeseungs from across the living room. the world no longer felt like it was just you and beomgyu, but as if it was you and heeseung and beomgyu was just a major side character that ruined things for the mains.

heeseung was sitting in the armchair that faced you. the armchair where he'd sit with sunghoon and play video games with him, the arm chair where you'd do your homework and ask sunghoon for help but ultimately get helped by heeseung- the arm chair where heeseung had sat so many times before that always made you think how easy it would be to just sit on his lap and make out until you could no longer breathe.

heeseung's legs were stretched out manspreading and covered in his black ripped jeans. in his hand, he held a red solo cup as he tried to stay in the conversation with his friend on one side and a girl on his other side. the girl was very obviously trying to get the attention of heeseung- and maybe she was actually getting it before he saw you dancing with his friend across the room.

at first, heeseung told himself that he's watching you swivel your hips so fucking beautifully against beomgyu to make sure neither of the two of you went any further. he was looking out for you! he was making sure beomgyu wasn't going to be pummeled to death by sunghoon after tonight and that you wouldn't be ejected from society because sunghoon wouldn't trust you after.

but the more and more heeseung watched, the more and more he couldn't help the jealousy growing in his chest as he watched the way beomgyu would whisper into your ear, the way you would put your hand over beomgyu's hand on your waist- the fucking way you were making yourself and beomgyu feel so good by the grinding of your hips that makes him wish that it was him behind you and not the stupid bastard choi beomgyu.

heeseung knew that the pretty girl beside him, minjeong, wanted his dick. he knew that as soon as he said the word she would follow him up to the guest bedroom that more like his bedroom since he's been at this house practically every day since he was 15. he had planned to hold off on her until the end of the night, but you had put a fat hold on those plans the second he saw you.

every part in heeseung knew that he shouldn't be thinking about you this way. he knew that if sunghoon ever found out that he'd be dead in a millisecond. he tried to avoid those thoughts of you by listening to jeongin talk beside him- he tried to keep up the conversation with jeongin- he tried to keep minjeong interested in him but all that would come up in his head was that you were grinding against beomgyu when it should be him there instead.

when you opened your eyes and were met with heeseung. he could sense the worry rush through your body from across the room. he could see how blown out your pupils were from a mix of shock and all the alcohol you had been drinking tonight.

when heeseung just continued to watch you with beomgyu, you decided to put on a show not only for beomgyu, but for heeseung as well. and quickly, the excitement for tonight with beomgyu turned into the excitement for tonight with heeseung.

you tilted your head back to lay on beomgyu's shoulder, pushing your chest out and ass more into beomgyu's crotch. you could feel beomgyu get harder every minute you've been dancing together.

"oh fuck." beomgyu groaned out quietly, his eyes directed right at your tits that were in his view now. your soft skin visible to anyone that would see.

heeseung smirked at you once he realized what you were up to. you didn't break eye contact with him as you gritted your hips against beomgyu harder, your panties becoming soaked now that you were imagining what heeseung would do to you. you imagined that heeseung was behind you instead of beomgyu.

the moment between you and heeseung was ruined when beomgyu offered for you to go to the bathroom with him to "continue our fun in a more private area.". it was like you were brought back to reality and not some future imagination that you once thought you were in. you still your dancing on beomgyuy and turned away from your brother's best friend. "hm?" beomgyu urged you for an answer, putting his forehead to yours as you stared into each other's eyes, pure lust was set in his as he scanned your face.

fuck.

"i-, um," you tried to answer, but your words all meshed into one, unaware of how you should answer him.

"i think it's time for you to leave, y/n." a voice answered for you, causing you and beomgyu to pull apart.

heeseung stood right in front of you two with an expression you weren't able to read but made you try to sober up quickly.

"oh, hey heeseung!" beomgyu smiled once he saw who it was, "how are you, my man?" beomgyu and heeseung dapped each other up warmly.

"eh, i'm good," heeseung shrugged, "it was nice to see you, but i gotta get y/n to bed." you scoffed beside beomgyu at heeseung's words not believing what you were hearing.

"oh? for real?" beomgyu asked confusedly, looking between you and heeseung. you couldn't bear to look up at any of them because you could feel the heat go to your cheeks from embarrassment yet again- only this time it wasn't because of your brother- it was because of his best friend.

"yeah, man, sunghoon's looking for her." you physically cringed at your brother's name.

"oh?" beomgyu said with a confused tone, "OH!" he said again a second later, obviously realizing who you were, "oh shit." beomgyu stepped away from you. "look, - i didn't-"

"hey, it's okay, it'll stay between you and me and i'm sure y/n won't tell sunghoonie, right?" heeseung patted beomgyu's shoulder as he looked at you.

all you could do was shake your head no, still not being able to look at the two older boys from humiliation.

"great! well uh, see you around, i guess," beomgyu said to no one in particular before walking back and getting lost in the crowd.

"c'mon." heeseung stated suddenly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and guiding you through the crowd of people towards the stairs to the second floor.

heeseung's so familiar scent put your mind in a haze, a different haze than the drunk one it was previously in. the music downstairs was somewhat quieter upstairs, quiet enough for heeseung to hear how loud your heart was pounding in your chest.

when you got to your bedroom in the hall heeseung backed away from you slightly and stared at you, the same unreadable expression plastered on his face. the atmosphere between you two felt awkward to the point where you felt like you couldn't breathe.

"why were you with beomgyu?" heeseung broke the silence with a disgusted and disappointed face.

you scoffed, feeling as if you were talking to your father yet again, "who cares who i was talking to? i can do what i want."

"i care!" heeseung said, walking closer to you so your back was up against the wall. "what would've happened if sunghoon saw the two of you like that?"

"i don't care about what sunghoon would've done! i'm my own person i can make my own decisions!"

heeseung sighed at your statement, his eyebrows coming together as his fingers pressed against the crease in his forehead, "fuck y/n," he shook his head before looking at you, "i know that. just- did it have to be beomgyu?"

"jesus, then who do you deem acceptable for me?" you stood up straight, looking heeseung in his eyes now, both of you carrying serious expressions. please say you, please say you, you mentally begged heeseung.

heeseung slowly leaned his face towards yours, his scent intoxicating you more. his face was so close to yours that you could see all his freckles and blemishes. you could hear his quiet, heavy breathing that indicated he was just as nervous as you were. you stared in the eyes of each other, neither one of you moving as if the other was daring the other one to move first.

heeseung's hand came up and you thought he was going to rest it on your cheek, but it rested on the wall behind your head, trapping you in. and just when you thought you were going to get all your senses filled by heeseung, he pushed off the wall so he was farther away from you now. you felt cold when he stood a meter in front of you, not even glancing at you as he put his hand on his waist and the other wiped his jaw to show that he was stressed.

"we can't, y/n." heeseung whispered, barely audible over the music and the cheers from downstairs.

"and why not?" you asked, pushing yourself off of your closed, bedroom door and taking a few steps ahead, your body only a centimeter away from heeseung's.

"you know why." heeseung glanced at you as you stood in front of him now.

you rolled your eyes in frustration now at his response, a huff coming out of your mouth, "no. i don't. so why don't you say it."

a beat of silence went between you two again before he said outloud, "because you're my best friend's little sister. that's so-..."

"so what?" you urged him to finish his sentence.

"so... ugh, there just shouldn't be an attraction here!" you could see heeseung was getting just as frustrated as you were, though his words dug into your heart a little. heeseung and you knew how sensitive you were, you could both feel the drop in the atmosphere because of the hurt that was now playing on your heart strings.

you back away from heeseung while looking down at the ground, digging your shoe into your carpeted floor, "so then, what now?"

heeseung looked up at you with a melancholic look on his face that told you what he was going to say next wouldn't be good, "we- you have a good night. everyone will be leaving soon anyway and i'll find sunoo and send him up here, too."

both of you could barely look at one another; there were too many emotions in the air to control at the moment; anger, frustration, lust. heeseung was caught up in his mind until he heard a soft sniffle coming from you. he shot his head up and he felt a rush of guilt wash over him at your weakened figure.

"y/n-" he started, reaching out towards you.

"you have a good night, heeseung." you cut him off, turning and walking into your bedroom, closing the door quickly behind you. all of your emotions hit you at once and you felt so weak. you were frustrated with sunghoon, upset that your night didn't go as planned, and sad that you were rejected by heeseung and wouldn't see him for a long time. you felt like your whole life changed drastically in a span of one night and it became overwhelming.

heeseung slowly went back downstairs, upset and confused about what he had done tonight. he gathered up jake and jay and told them to kick everyone out. he asked them where sunghoon had gone but they hadn't seen him for a while.

when people started leaving, it made it easier for heeseung to find sunoo.

"hey, y/n's in her room already." heeseung reached out and tapped sunoo on the shoulder so he would turn around.

"already?" sunoo slurred his short question. it was so obvious that sunoo was wasted which made heeseung chuckle a bit.

"yeah, do you need help getting to her room or are you okay?"

"i'll be okay, heeseungie." sunoo smiled his usual eye smile, pinched heeseung's cheek, and walked towards the stairs, holding tightly onto the railing. heeseung felt his cheeks blush at sunoo's sudden nickname for him, but brushed it off and went to look for sunghoon.

five minutes later and he found him on the floor of the upstairs bathroom.

"sunghoon, what the hell?" heeseung exclaimed loudly, rushing to his friend's side. sunghoon only grumbled in response. "did you throw up?" sunghoon nodded with his eyes barely opened. "how many times?" sunghoon held up three fingers. "jesus."

heeseung got his best friend all cleaned up and then tucked him into bed with the help of jake and jay. he heard giggling coming from your bedroom and figured that sunoo had made you feel better from the last time he had seen you.

jake and jay fell asleep on the couches downstairs, too drunk and exhausted to make their way back to their houses. and then finally heeseung lay down in his second bedroom. the one that was referred to as the guest bedroom, but the guest that occupied it was not even a guest of this house anymore.

as soon as heeseung's head hit the guest's pillow, his phone went off from a notification on instagram.

[hee.heesung] k.minjexng : sent an image.

heeseung sighed when he opened the dm from the girl he was talking with earlier, realizing that she was definitely upset he disappeared from her.

the image was a picture of her pale legs and a man's head of hair in between them.

k.minjexng : this is what you missed out on 😘

heeseung rolled his eyes and exited instagram, instead he opened his messages app, his thumb circling around his previous messages with you.

when you woke up in the morning, sunoo was snoring beside you softly. his pink hair was sprawled out on your white pillowcase and a soft smile was stuck on his face while he slept. it was evident that he had a fun night last night.

unlike you.

your phone held a bunch of notifications from the night, but not one of them was from heeseung. disappointment sunk into your chest farther, making it feel heavy.

sunoo had made you feel better before you went to bed, but it was still upsetting that your crush of three years had flat out rejected you.

when sunoo had finally woken up about an hour later, his headache was killing him. you went downstairs to get him some advil, and was surprised to see that the house was ordinarily clean.

"good morning, sweetie!" your mom called out to you from the island. you were shocked that your parents were home this early, as well as that sunghoon, jake, and jay was awake as well. "you just missed heeseung." your mom pouted, the statement making your chest feel heavier.

"what?" you asked her, hoping that you misunderstood her.

"yeah, he leaves for college in an hour." sunghoon mumbled, it was obvious that your brother was upset that he was losing his best friend because of the way life goes.

"Oh." you said, trying to hide the sadness you were feeling, wishing you had woken up earlier.

"it's okay, kids, he'll be back for winter break." your dad spoke, feeling the tense atmosphere in the kitchen now. even jake and jay were upset that heeseung was leaving them.

"yeah, you're right, it's just weird to think that there's only going to be three of us now." jay nodded, taking a bite of his cereal.

they all continued to converse but you couldn't even hear what they were saying. your thoughts took over so much room in your head now that you could barely be focused. you managed to get sunoo some medicine and make your way back up to your room without another word from you or your family.

you felt like you were just about to accept the fact that you and heeseung are 1000% never being together when your phone got a text.

from : heeseung 🤎

i'm sorry for last night. i hope you have a good year at school though

and btw i liked the first dress more

a smile crept onto your face at his last text, and the butterfly of hope flew around your stomach once again.

the fall season quickly came and left, and your junior year of high school was already halfway over when christmas break began.

you hadn't heard from heeseung directly since you had last seen him at the end of the summer party that your brother threw. you never texted him, in fear of making it awkward between you two.

though you haven't spoken to heeseung, sunghoon has. they are still best friends even though they live hours apart in different parts of the country. sunghoon was definitely looking forward to heeseung's return during their winter break, and secretly you were too.

the only person who knew about your little crush and interaction with heeseung was sunoo, who constantly tried to persuade you to text heeseung. of course, you never did.

"so are you excited?" sunoo asked, his scarf muffling his voice as you walked home from school with him.

"for what?" you asked, shoving your hands deep into your pockets to try to keep them warm from the winter breeze. the snow crunched under your feet with each step the two of you took. your large jackets rustled with each step.

"for heeseung to come home, you idiot!" sunoo yelled out, hopefully, no one else had turned onto the street with you that you knew.

"well i mean, yes but no," you responded in a normal tone.

"maybe he forgot about the last time you saw him!" sunoo tried to make you feel better about the rejected and crying moment you last had with heeseung, "the last thing he texted you about was your dress! maybe all he remembers is how hot you looked!"

"yeah, before sunghoon made me change!" you shoved sunoo, trying to force yourself to feel a bit happier that heeseung was returning.

"you looked hot in the other outfit, too!" sunoo shoved you back, "but seriously y/n, it's gonna fun! he'll probably just act around you like he usually does."

"like i'm sunghoon's baby sister and that i barely exist?" you deadpanned rolling your eyes at the thought of your older brother again.

"exactly!"

walking into your home alone after sunoo turned down his own street was walking into a different atmosphere than you expected. sunghoon was sitting on the couch with an annoyed look on his face, while your mother was beside him rubbing his back and your father was standing by the tv trying to support his son from afar.

"uh, hey guys?" you announced yourself awkwardly, not sure of what you had just walked into.

"hi, sweetie." your mom forced a smile.

"is everything okay?" you asked the three of them.

"yeah! heeseung's not coming." sunghoon mumbled a response without looking away from the wall in front of him.

"what? why?" you asked, your heart racing with disappointment and fear. was he not coming because of you? did he think it would be too uncomfortable to be in the same room with you again?

"because he thinks it'd be too stressful on his grades, so he wants to stay to study more." sunghoon grunted before standing up, "i'm going to my room." your parents and you watched your older brother storm up the stairs into his bedroom. he was obviously upset that he still wouldn't be seeing his best friend after months.

"are you okay about it?" your mother asked, worried for you as well.

"what? yeah, i'm fine. why would i care if heeseung came home or not?" you asked quickly, hoping that they weren't onto you about having a crush on heeseung.

"oh, i thought you were close with him too, no? he was over all the time before he went to college." your mother replied with a look of confusion on her face about the speed of your response.

"eh, well, i still have jake and jay and my real brother, right?" you forced a laugh out, hoping that it wasn't obvious you were trying to hide something.

"yeah, right." your parents nodded, shrugging before heading to the kitchen together to prepare dinner.

you let out a sigh of relief once they left the room with no further questions, but that didn't relieve the anxiety of heeseung not returning. as you head back to your room you do figure that it would be weird without having heeseung around for winter break. it was almost tradition to have him and the other boys sleeping over for two weeks straight. you wonder what they would do this break? would it just be the three of them?

before you push open your door something inside of you stops and glances over at sunghoon's closed door. you ponder about what he's feeling inside. he's never been good with showing his emotions, not even to your parents. when he got hurt as a little boy he would hide it until your parents would notice blood seeping through his pants from falling off his bike and scraping his entire leg right open. he still insisted he was fine when they took him to the doctors and said he needed stitches.

you sighed and walked over to his bedroom, hesitating once before knocking on his door.

"what?" you heard him grunt out.

"can i come in?" you called out to him.

a beat of silence passed and you thought he was just ignoring you at this point, "sure."

you pushed open his door to find him sitting on his bed in the dark, only the screen of his tv was on and it was on mute. "what is it? i'm tired." you fought the urge to roll your eyes at him blaming his sadness on fatigue. you walked over to his bed and sat down beside him.

"you know i think you're a good older brother, right? you've always looked out for me, and made sure i was safe. you spent your christmas allowance on me when we were younger so you could buy me a present."

sunghoon left his window open a crack, making his room a bit chilly as the sound of someone's car starting outside ruins the silence between you two. you knew that sunghoon always wanted to take care of you, and now you feel like it's your turn to take care of him. though, you feel nothing like your older brother.

in his senior year, you never thought that you would have to take care of your older brother in a way that he takes care of his little sister. but you never know what sunghoon is going through. he keeps things to himself when he gets to the point where he feels like breaking down he stays silent. the only person he's ever trusted was heeseung.

"you always seem so happy when you're with your friends, truly, and i swear i've never seen so many people stop what they were doing just to listen to someone speak- but you do that to people."

you use to be jealous of sunghoon about it. how did he get to be so popular while you were just the school's runt? how did he get to have girls falling at his feet and guys begging to be his friend? you loved sunoo, but sometimes you wished that you had a friend group to hang out with other than sunoo and sunghoon's friends that weren't allowed to even look at you.

"and you know i worry about you at the same time. i know how introverted you are and how hard you try to be so outgoing at school so people will still like you. that's so much stress on a person mentally. and still, at home, i try to be a good sister for you but i feel like i'm no good at that, so i'm glad you've found a brother within heeseung. so i'm sorry that heeseung isn't coming back for winter break, that must really fucking hurt, hoon. but i love you, and i'm trying to be a good sister now, and i want to change our sibling relationship for the better."

you don't realize that you've started crying until sunghoon wraps his arm around you and pulls you into his side. that's when you notice he's started crying too. you think at that moment that you've never seen your brother cry before. you've never shared this much of a brother-sister moment before. it feels like the two of you are just little kids again, trying to figure out this world before the world figures it out for you instead. an expression of relief washes over sunghoon's face as you both take in the peaceful silence between you too.

when sunghoon speaks it's quiet, but you know he means it with his whole body and soul, "i wouldn't trade having you as a little sister for the world. heeseung's my friend, never my sibling."

after winter break, your relationship with sunghoon seemed to change drastically, and for the better. he no longer had this over-protectiveness of you. it was like you had aged from 5 years old to 17 years old in a week.

this winter break was definitely the weirdest one, but the best one. sunghoon invited you to hang out with jay, jake, and him, even allowing for sunoo to join, too. you all played video games, made gingerbread houses, and freaked out your parents by how strangely you two were getting along.

you heard sunghoon running around your house at 7am on the first day of summer break- the morning after sunghoon had graduated from high school. you groaned and threw your pillow over your head, mentally punching your brother for waking you up so early for no reason.

you were just about to drift off to sleep again when your bedroom door slammed open, "y/n!" sunghoon yelled excitedly.

you groaned in response, sleep still fogging up your mind and body.

"y/n! wake up!" sunghoon jumped on your bed, shaking your body awake.

"what?" you sat up finally, looking at your brother with anger. "what is it?"

"heeseung's coming home today!" sunghoon grabbed onto your shoulders, shaking you with excitement.

"oh my god!" you yelled back, a smile on your face.

"we're picking him up in an hour, wake up!"

'i'm awake now, okay!?"

sunghoon shook you once last time and jumped off your bed with a ginormous smile on his face, "wooooo!" sunghoon cheered as he ran out of your room.

the excitement you felt about heeseung's return quickly faded when you started to actually realize what it would mean to see heeseung again. it's been 10 months since you had seen him in person. 10 months since you had almost (maybe?) kissed in your hallway, meters away from your drunk brother.

you felt a sudden feeling of stress begin to bubble up in your chest at the fact that standing in front of heeseung again. a lot can change in 10 months, and you wonder if that included his feelings towards you...

throughout the school year, you had noticed that over time, there would be a day or two that would go by that you wouldn't think about heeseung, your heart would ache at the sudden realization that you had forgotten about him for a second. but when sunghoon would mention his name later, or show you a picture that heeseung had sent him of himself, the familiar feeling of the attraction you had for heeseung would come swirling back at you.

there were days when your finger would hover over heeseung's contact name on your phone, contemplating whether or not you should text him or not. what would you say though? what would he think? "oh god, my best friend's little sister is obsessed with me?". at that thought, you would instantly put your phone away, trying to distract yourself from the thoughts of heeseung again.

you basically spent the whole early morning getting your appearance to look as best as it could for heeseung's return. you wanted to look good for heeseung. you think it's the longest time you've spent on your appearance all school year.

when you heard the familiar tires of your car pull up in the front of your house, your heart froze. you weren't mentally prepared to see heeseung.

"y/n! they're here!" your mother called you from downstairs.

on shaky legs you made your way downstairs, standing on the last stair as you watched your mother swing up the front door to reveal your dad and sunghoon laughing, carrying a bag in each hand.

"heeseung! honey!" your mother yelled excitedly, you could see her hands fly up and around someone's shoulders, but your vision was blocked by your family. "god, how was the flight? how are you?"

"i'm good! it was good!" a light chuckle spoke, it had been a while since you had heard heeseung's voice- it sounded the same yet different at the same time.

your family finally moved out of the way for heeseung to enter your house once again. you took in a breath as you locked eyes with him standing in your front doorway.

he was still the heeseung that you remembered him as, but he seemed broader and stronger, and his black hair was dyed a blueish green colour that fell so prettily against his skin. his rosy lips held the smirk that you've always known as he takes in your appearance as well.

you look more mature now, more confident in your own skin and he wonders what happened to you in the past 10 months that finally allowed for you to come out of your shell. you look more pretty than heeseung remembers and it's making him weak in the knees as he continues to stare at you until he speaks, "hi, y/n."

"hi." you force yourself to reply. the scene being so coincidentally like the first time you two had met, but this time you're older and you're both aware of your forbidden feelings towards one another.

"are you hungry? come you should sit and eat!" your mother put her hand on his back, ushering him into your house.

"yeah, i'm a bbit hungry!" heeseung laughed, "but i can't stay for too long today! i need to visit my mom later on today."

"oh of course heeseungie! she must've missed you terribly!"

"yeah, something like that." heeseung replied, sitting down at his usual chair at the table, sunghoon and you following him and sitting in your spots: sunghoon sat across from you with heeseung on his left while heeseung was on your right at the very end of the table, across from your father.

"bro, it's been too long." sunghoon sat back in his chair, smiling at heeseung. this has been the most that you've seen your brother smile since heeseung left the last august. it made you happy that sunghoon seemed to be out of the little slump that he's been in.

"i know! i'm glad that you're coming with me this year!" heeseung shoved sunghoon's shoulder.

sunghoon had gotten accepted into the same university as heeseung along with jake. jay had chosen to go to a university abroad in the united states so he could live with his father again.

"it's gonna be so much fun!" heeseung laughed.

"so i guess you're liking university then, son." your father spoke from across the table.

"yeah, it's been great!" heeseung smiled. suddenly, you felt a foot graze across your own. you figured one of the boys had done it by accident, but the foot came back and started to slowly drag its way up your calve and down. you gulped and looked over a heeseung, who only spared you a sneaky glance as he continued to talk to your dad, "i got pretty good grades this year so i'm happy."

"that's great, honey!" your mother chimed in, bringing in a plate of sandwiches for you all to eat.

your mother placed a plate in front of you, you forced a smile at her in return, trying to not focus on heeseung's foot playing with your leg.

"are you okay, y/n?" your mother asked you as she sat down beside your dad.

"hm? yeah! of course!" you replied, grabbing a sandwich quickly and placing it on your plate. almost dropping it when heeseung's hand plopped down on your thigh underneath the table. you looked up at him in shock, he placed his body so it looked like he was leaning his hand on his chair underneath him, and took a bite of his sandwich with his other.

you felt the eyes of everyone on you turn away at your response, opting to be more interested in the freshly-back-in-town-heeseung.

"so do you like your roommate?" your mother continued the conversation with heeseung. his fingers slowly started to move up and down your thigh, dangerously close to your core. you tried to focus on eating your sandwich but he was making it so difficult to focus on anything other than his warm fingers.

"yeah, he was cool, but i'm hoping to move in with hoon and jake next year." heeseung shrugged, managing to keep his cool so perfectly.

"do you have a girlfriend, yet?" your mother continued to ask, making sunghoon snort and look at his friend. the question also made your ears perk up, ready for his answer as his fingers continued to do small circles on the inside of your thigh.

"nah, not yet." heeseung shook his head with a sheep smile. a sigh of relief almost escaped your lips, but you covered it by taking a bite of your sandwich.

"hey, do you know who's also back in town for the summer?" sunghoon asked heeseung.

"who?"

"minjeong." sunghoon spoke, quirking his eyebrows up as he said her name.

you hadn't thought about kim minjeong since the goodbye party last year. you remembered then that she was practically climbing on top of heeseung before he pulled you away from beomgyu. you felt a cold shrill go down your spine at the memory.

"ah, who's this minjeong?" your father asked heeseung with a teasing grin.

"ah, nobody." heeseung shook his head, his fingers coming to halt on your thigh as he glanced at your unreadable expression at the mention of another girl's name.

"what do you mean 'nobody'?" sunghoon laughed out, "she's some girl that's had the hots for heeseung since his sophomore year! you literally called her hot like last month!"

at that you pushed away heesueng's hand under the table, feeling disgusted by his touch suddenly. you tried to go back to casually eating your sandwich, but it felt like your stomach was doing twirls and spins. the cold shiver down your spine turned into embarrassment that you'd let yourself be so easy towards heeseung- just like every other girl he usually gets with. you don't know why you thought that you'd be someone different too lee heeseung.

you saw heeseung glance at you from the corner of your eye, but you didn't dare look at him.

"bro, she's whatever, i'm not into her like that." heeseung shrugged, but you knew that he was just trying to downplay it so you weren't mad at him.

"hm, i see." your mother gave a knowing look and stood up from her spot, taking hers and your father's empty plate, "anyways, me and your dad need to go visit your aunt this weekend since she's trying to sell the house, so it'll just be you guys, i'm sorry hee, but we'll be around more next week!"

"Ah that's okay, don't worry!" heeseung replied calmly, seemingly not phased by you being upset with him. when your parents left the room, sunghoon and heeseung gave each other a look. a look that you've seen multiple times throughout the years : party time.

they were obviously planning to throw a big 'start of summer' party this weekend while your parents are away. and this time- you knew that sunghoon wouldn't make a big deal out of you being there as well. though you weren't even sure if you wanted to go- as you knew heeseung would be there. as of right now, you wanted nothing to do with him.

you knew that you and heeseung weren't together, but the idea of him talking about another girl he's obviously attracted to while touching you under the table made you sick. you didn't want to be just some other girl to him.

"are you gonna invite minjeong, heeseungie?" sunghoon smiled teasingly, her name making you almost throw up. the thought of her being in your house- the thought of her and heeseung fucking in the room right next door to yours. god- you couldn't bear it.

"hey, are you okay?" sunghoon asked you, making you snap your eyes open to look at him. "you've barely even eaten your sandwich." you glanced at heeseung again, before nodding your head.

"yeah, i'm just not that hungry right now," you stood up, taking your plate with you, "i'm just gonna go back to bed, see you guys."

"okay." sunghoon nodded, pulling out his phone to most likely start sending invitations to the party this weekend. as you started to return back to your bedroom, you felt heeseung's eyes at the back of your head as you went up the stairs, but you forced yourself not to look at him. disgust still filling your mind.

you've been pretty good at avoiding heeseung all week.

telling your parents that you weren't feeling good so you wouldn't have to join the rest of your family and heeseung at the dinner table to eat. basically just camping out in your bedroom for four days until friday night, after your parents had left for the weekend and sunghoon and heeseung's party had started up.

you guess you've also been pretty good at making heeseung mad all week by the way he was glaring at you from across the living room right now.

the red dress you wore matched the anger that boiling u inside of him as he watched you scamper around the party with hwang intak. heeseung usually wouldn't mind seeing you wearing something so sexy, but the fact that he wasn't allowed to touch you meanwhile intak seemed to have no problem doing so.

heeseung knew that things between you and your brother had calmed down- sunghoon had let go of his protective-brother facade and you had grown into a girl that was so confident it made all the other girls in the place look something close to nothing. but he didn't think that would mean you would be wearing a tight dress wrapped under some guy's arm right in front of him. it made him almost want over protective sunghoon to make a return.

"oh my god, heeseungie!" a high pitch shrill pulled heeseung out of his thoughts about you and back into the harsh reality. "how have you been, i missed you so much!" minjeong was wrapping her arms tight around his neck as he pulled him down into a hug. instinctively, his free hand that wasn't holding his cup wrapped loosely around her tiny waist.

"hey! i've been good," heeseung replied, trying to force a smile on his face as he looked at minjeong. it was hard to say that she wasn't a pretty girl- because she certainly was- but her beauty was no match to yours. there was hardly any resemblance between the two of you and maybe that's why heeseung would never find himself in a bed with minjeong.

heeseung glanced towards the direction where he last saw you, and smirked to himself when he saw you staring at the scene going on between him and minjeong. you had been ignoring him and advoiding him all week, but this is what got your attention finally. he was just about to think that you were truly over him, but now with the way he could see the jealousy growing so green in your eyes he knew that his feelings were still atleast somewhat requited.

"ah! i'm so glad you're here! i've been wanting to see you!" minjeong pulled away from him, but still wrapping her tiny hand around his upper arm.

heeseung smirked down at her, "yeah?" he used a teasing tone with her, hoping that you would be trying to listen in. knowing you though, you most definetly were.

anyone could hear minjeong's obnoxious shrill so it was hard not to notice when she came running up to heeseung. you felt your blood run cold as you watched the two embrace each other.

"hey, are you okay?" intak whispered to you, feeling your change in aura suddenly beside him.

"hm? yeah i'm fine." you responded, looking at the black haired boy for a second before glancing back at heeseung and minjeong.

"are you sure? do you want another drink?"

"yeah! okay!" you responded, handing him your red cup.

"okay, i'll be right back!" intak smiled, shoulder shoving you gently before he left you alone.

you tried to not make it obvious that you were staring at heeseung and minjeong but it was so hard not to. it was unfair that the two of them could be affectionate towards one another in public meanwhile you and heeseung couldn't be together, period.

the way minjeong was clinging onto him to protectively, as if she was telling every other girl at the party that heeseung was hers- at least for tonight he was- was something that you'd only ever dreamt of doing with him. you wanted to show him off at a party, show everyone that you were together and that you were his and he was yours.

heeseung was paying so much attention to minjeong, focusing only on her as he answered her questions, making her laugh her annoying laugh. hurt and anger was growing inside of you, you wanted to scream.

"here you go." a red cup came into your view again. you looked up at intak, his easy going smile calmed you.

"thanks." you replied, taking the full cup from him and leaning back against the wall again.

"are you sure you're okay, y/n?" intak asked you once again, leaning his shoulder on the wall beside you.

"yeah, i'm good, just needed another drink!" you reassured him.

the past year, you and intak have gotten quite close. though you shot him down last summer, you still turned out to be great friends. but you still got the feeling that intak had some feelings towards you. his constant staring, and overly-kind gestures were a dead give away but you never did any actions towards him that would give him hope. you were friends- and that was it. until you got the idea to make heeseung just as mad as you were.

if you had to watch him get climbed on by the girl who defintely wanted to fuck him- and who he apparently thought was so hot, then he could watch you have somre fun with your friend.

you turned so your shoulder was against the wall, your front facing intak's, "are you having fun?" you asked him, titling your head to the side as you looked up at him.

"yeah, i am," intak took a sip of his drink, "are you?"

"mm, i am, but only because you're here." you smiled, biting your lip. you noticed the way intak gulped, before trying to laugh your statement off casually. you glanced over at heeseung and minjeong, who had moved over to sit on the lawson chair your family had in the living room. you almost threw up when you saw that she was sitting on his lap. when you glanced up heeseung, you didn't expect to meet his eyes.

there was a tone of amusmant and arrogance in his eyes as he looked at you, as if he was saying, "how's that?" you internally huffed at him, which was probably evident on your face as a smile spread across his lips.

minjeong put her hand on his shoulder, grabbing his attention away from you as she spoke to him.

"y/n?" intak asked, you forgot that he was standing there.

"yeah?"

"i asked if you wanted to go outside."

"oh, uh, i-"

"look, what's wrong? you seem distant and you're acting weird." intak sighed, standing up straight in front of you.

"nothing's wrong! i'm fine!" you urged him to believe you. his hand suddenly came up and was placed on your forehead, checking to see if you had a fever. you glanced at heeseung, who had an eyebrow raised at you.

you put your hand on top of intak's, looking up at him through your eyelashes, "do i feel okay?"

"y-yeah, i think so." intak stuttered, shocked at your tone of voice, he pulled his hand away from you, trying to ignore the warmth that is sent through his body.

part of you felt bad because you were obviously just playing intak, but it would only be for tonight. you cared about him as a friend and you wouldn't go any further than a little flurting with him.

you moved closer to intak, so that your bodies were only a mere centimere apart, you could still see heeseung and minjeong's bodies over intak's shoulder. "i think i just want to stay in here, i like listening to the music." you nodded to intak.

"oh, okay." intak whispered out, not being able to take his eyes off of you. he's trying to rememeber if he's even been this close to you before. your perfume that he's become so familiar with is literally surrounding him because you're so close to one another. your pretty eyes seem so clear as you look up at him. he's trying so hard to keep his cool around you.

heeseung can hear minjeong speaking, but he doesn't know or to be honest, care, about what exactly she is saying. you're basically standing ontop of intak and he can most likely see right down your dress from his angle. minjeong brings heeseung back to her when she wraps her arm around his neck behind him, leaning closer to him now. heeseung smiles at her, and wraps his free arm around her back, basically cuddling her into his side as he looks at you.

you tsk lowly, watching the two of them pretend to be a couple while you know heeseung is only thinking about you right now. it hurts that he's touching another girl right in front of you, it seems to be pushing you farther and farther away from him, but the both of you can't give up so easily. both too stubborn to let the other one win. you don't know where this sudden 'game' of jealousy came from but you were determined to win.

you grab intak's free arm and put it on your waist, letting his fingers grab a hold of your side. through the thin layer of your dress you can feel his warmth. intak stumbles a second before gripping onto you tighter, shocked at how bold you are being with him. his inner monologue is fighting between either you're just really drunk or you're finally realizing that you have feelings for him.

heeseung takes a deep breath out of anger as he watches intak enjoy holding on to you, any guy in their right mind would kill to be intak right now.

throughout your high school days, it was so obvious that every guy in your school thought you were hot, but of course, sunghoon would kill anyone that tried to hit on you. heeseung always wondered if you knew just how attractive you were. there had been so many conversations that he's overheard about what the guys in your school would do to you if they ever got the chance. if they ever got permission from sunghoon.

why did sunghoon have to let go of his protective stance when he went to college? he couldn't have done it sooner so maybe he would get a chance himself?

heeseung almost laughs at the thought, as if sunghoon would let you date his best friend.

"are you tired, heeseungie?" minjeong purrs into his ear.

"hm?"

"you seem tired, do you want to go lay down?" he turns to look at the girl who's basically crawling on top of him and forces a smile.

"maybe in a bit, yeah?"

"Okay." she whispers into his ear. he feels her breath against his skin. on any other occasion he's sure he would've taken her up to his room by now, but he had no desire to pull anyone else except for you upstairs with him.

with minjeong leaning against his neck so closely, heeseung makes perfect eye contact with you. you tilt your head as a sign of confusion as you watch minjeong pucker her lips, leaning her face into heeseung's neck now.

and all at once, she's kissing slowly onto his skin, wanting to mark him as hers.

you and heeseung take a deep breath at once.

now, you weren't feeling well.

heeseung's eyes never left yours as minjeong made her way down his neck. you felt a heat wave go down your body as you pushed away from intak suddenly.

"do you know what?" you said, passing your cup to intak who was greatly confused, "i really am not feeling good, i'm just going to go to bed, i'll text you tomorrow, tak."

"oh? do you want me to walk you to your room or-" intak asked, concern painted on his face.

"no!" you got out quickly, "just, can you make sure sunoo gets home okay? if you ever see him around."

"yeah for sure." intak nodded, moving so that you could leave, "i hope you feel better, y/n."

"thanks." you mumbled, putting your head down as you made an escape to your bedroom. you felt tears prickle at your eyes. you were so hurt and embarrassed you just wanted to get away from everyone before anyone saw you cry- especially if sunghoon found out you were crying.

you didn't even glance at heeseung as you walked past the sitting area and towards the stairs. you couldn't bear to see him and minjeong anymore- it was all too much. you didn't think he'd actually fuck another girl in your house with you there.

so now, you're alone in your bedroom with thoughts of heeseung replaying in your mind, while he's in the room beside you, legs tangled with another girl.

you didn't leave your room all saturday.

sunghoon knocked around noon hour, and you told him you were hungover, making him leave you alone to sleep all day.

you were far from hungover.

you were heartbroken.

you and heeseung weren't a couple, so you shouldn't be this upset. but you couldn't help but feel disappointed. all your hopes were just crushed within the span of 20 minutes last night right in front of you with a girl that was obviously perfect for heeseung.

any girl that wasn't sunghoon's sister seemed to be perfect for him.

when your parents came home sunday night, you were forced out of your room so you could all eat dinner together.

you weren't sure if everyone else could tell how awkward it was between you and heeseung, but the tension was so thick you felt like you were being smothered.

"so, did you guys do anything fun this weekend?" your mother asked the three of you.

"nah, not really, just watched movies and played video games." sunghoon shrugged, smirking at heeseung.

"oh i see, y/n? did you do anything?"

"i hung out with sunoo and intak, that's about it." you saw heeseung tense at the mention of intak, forcing yourself to not roll your eyes at him.

"ah, so just the usual stuff happened around here, then i see." your father joked, eating his meal.

"yeah, pretty much." heeseung nodded at him from across the table.

you felt like dinner was going on much longer than it usually does. you were waiting for the right time to excuse yourself back to your room but the time seemed to never come. your parents were explaining how their weekend went at your aunt's. sunghoon and heeseung were talking about university. you kept quiet the entire time until they were all finished and tired.

your parents went to bed early that night, tired from the weekend's long work. you heard sunghoon and heeseung watching a movie downstairs in the living while you sat awake in your bedroom, scrolling through social media aimlessly.

over time you heard less and less of heeseung and sunghoon's voices being carried up the stairs and wondered if they had gone to bed. you open your bedroom door and head to the bathroom, seeing the flashing lights of the tv on downstairs still, and the quiet voices coming from it.

heeseung hears someone in the bathroom from his guest bedroom as he starts to change for bed. he figures maybe sunghoon woke up and is going to his bed after falling asleep on the couch.

when you walk out of the bathroom you don't really expect to see heeseung standing there, staring at you solemnly. you see him open his mouth to speak but you start to make a beeline straight to your bedroom.

"no, y/n!" heeseung whisper shouts, putting his hand out to stop you. you sigh but stop and look at him, "i'm sorry."

you scoff and start to walk again, this time his hand meets your upper arm, stopping you in place.

"y/n, seriously i'm sorry. i- i didn't know she'd do that- that she'd kiss me." heeseung keeps his voice low, afraid that sunghoon or your parents would wake up and hear your conversation.

"you don't need to be sorry, hee. it's not like we're together or anything." you forcefully smiled, trying to end the conversation before you burst out in tears in front of him. "you can fuck who you want."

"i didn't fuck her y/n."

your breath hitched at his statement, "w-well i'm sorry to hear that." you tried to turn away from him.

"y/n, would you stop acting like this?" heeseung grunted lowly, "i didn't want to fuck her anyways. i- i don't like her like that."

"acting like what? i'm being myself." you defended yourself, trying to make him believe the false facade you were putting on. you didn't want him to know just how much he had hurt you.

"no, you're not," heeseung shook his head in frustration, "i-i'm sorry y/n, it was the only way i could get your attention, you were ignoring me!"

you scoffed at his explanation, "i think i simple fucking text would've sufficed."

"a text?" heeseung laughed dryly, "what was i supposed to say to you over text? hey stop ignoring me and get away from the stupid asshole intak?"

"he is not a stupid asshole, are you kidding me? and you could've texted me at least once throughout the school year!" you pushed a hand through your hair out of frustration, "look we can't talk right now, i don't want to wake anyone up."

a beat of silence went through the air as heeseung took in your words, "well why didn't you text me?" he spoke softer, barely audible in the quiet hallway.

"because you're away in the capital city in university. you're busy and i didn't want to bother you like all the other girls you use."

heeseung's eyes softened at your statement.

"you could've fucking texted me y/n. i'd never think of you like any of the other girls i've screwed around with because you are nothing like them." heeseung took a step closer to you, "you are so much more."

you shook your head and looked down at your clammy hands.

"what is it, y/n?"

"it's just- last time i saw you you were pushing me away and saying we can't be together and- and now you're like saying the opposite."

heeseung moved closer to you now, making you look up at him in the dark, "god," he said almost out of breath, "why did you have to be related to sunghoon?"

a small smile cracked onto your face, "why did you have to be sunghoon's best friend?"

you can see heeseung smile down at you, his face slowly getting closer to yours. you see his tongue dart across his bottom lip as he scans your entire face. his hand comes up and brushes your nestled hair out of your face. it's so quiet as your faces inch closer and closer, both of you forgetting about the consequences of your being together.

it's so quiet that when the faint sound of the tv turns off you pull apart immediately in shock. rustling from downstairs getting closer to the stairs makes you both freak out and stumble away from each other in the hall.

a tired-looking sunghoon appears at the top of the stairwell. his black hair all tangled up, indicating that he had just woken up. he looks at the two of you in confusion. "hey, guys? what's going on?"

"uh, nothing. i'm just going to bed now, saying bye to y/n, you know." heeseung shrugged casually. sunghoon looked over at you, and you just nodded, unable to speak with the amount of adrenaline and fear rushing through your body.

"uh, ok, i'm going to bed up here now, that couch fucken killed my neck." sunghoon lazily chuckled, "night," he spoke and turned to go to his bedroom.

"night." heeseung and you replied to your brother, a sigh of relief coming from the both of you as his door closed after him.

you looked at heeseung, standing in front of his bedroom with an unreadable expression on his. "have a good sleep, y/n."

"yeah, you too."

heeseung and you both went into your separate bedrooms, wishing that there wasn't a wall in between you as your thoughts raced about each other.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

the next week started with heeseung and you creating some sort of tension with one another- it was awkward but full of need and lust that neither one of you could act out on.

the amount of lust that had built up between you two was no joke.

there were so many times when heeseung just wanted to wrap his arms around your waist and whisper all the dirty things he wanted to do to you in your ear.

and if it wasn't for sunghoon being around all the time you would've jumped heeseung's bones by now.

your parents were both at work, while sunghoon and heeseung had gone over to jake's house for the day. the house would finally be silent and you could be alone with your thoughts for a minute. of course, all your thoughts went straight to heeseung- and how his body would look on top of you- how he would fuck you.

you tried to put it off as much as you could, but when your hand started to trail its way down your core and slip so easily into your shorts and panties there was no way you could pull it back out.

you slowly started to rub your clit in small, slow circles. imagining that heeseung was doing it instead. it felt so good, but you knew that heeseung could make it feel even better.

you imagined heeseung whispering dirty things in your ear like the way he's been whispering all week to you when sunghoon was just around the corner. you imagine his warmth on top of you as he tries to get you to climax all over his fingers. he would tell you just how much of a good girl you were being for him.

your other hand slid up and started to massage your breast through your tight tank top. your thumb and forefinger squeezed your nipple in between them, adding pleasure to your core. your fingers started going at a faster pace, chasing after the climax that you so desired.

heeseung had left jake's house early, wanting to go to bed early tonight because he planned on spending time with his actual family tomorrow, needing him to wake up early.

he didn't think he was necessarily being quiet when he walked into your house, not even aware that you were even still home.

"heeseung." he heard your voice from down the hall, you sounded whiny and out of breath, concern retching onto his face at the thought that you were possibly hurt.

your bedroom door was open by the smallest amount, just enough for heeseung to look in and see you layed out on top of your bed. your hair was flayed out against your pillow, your eyes were closed and your mouth was slightly open in a blissed-out way.

heeseung's own mouth dropped open once he scanned down your body and saw what you were doing under your little shorts.

heeseung was having an internal conflict with himself : you're sunghoon's little fucking sister! but you're y/n and my god you're hot. he was about to turn and leave until his name left your mouth again, signaling that he wasn't hearing things beforehand.

your fingers were rubbing your little clit at the thought of him.

"fuck." heeseung let out, in awe of how cute and sexy you looked at the same time with the strap of your tank top slipping off of your shoulder.

you immediately sat up, ripping your hand out of your pants at the sound of someone outside your door. you had thought had closed it all the way!

your cheeks flushed red once you met eyes with heeseung. internal dread took over you as you grabbed a pillow from behind you and tried to cover your body more from his eyesight.

heeseung's mouth opened and closed as he tried to find some words to say.

"heeseung~!" sunghoon singsonged as he entered his house.

fear-filled both you and heeseung more as heerseung's hand scrambled out and pulled the doorknob of your bedroom closed before rushing down the stairs, fixing his jeans so sunghoon wouldn't see his (hopefully not) obvious boner.

"hey, man!" heeseung greeted his younger friend at the bottom stair, "thought you'd stay at jake's for a bit longer, no?"

"nah, i wanted to eat dinner here tonight." sunghoon replied, taking off his shoes, "is y/n home?"

"uh, i'm not sure, if she is i haven't seen her, i kinda just got here."

"ah, ok." sunghoon nodded, "do you wanna play some fifa until my parents get home?"

'"yeah for sure! i just have to get in the shower first, okay?" heeseung replied, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

"okay, but hurry! i want at least one game before they're home!"

"okay okay!" heeseung laughed, turning around and quickly running into the bathroom. he shut the door and locked it before anyone else could come in.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." heeseung mumbled to himself, looking down at his crotch. thank god sunghoon wasn't looking at him while he was downstairs.

heeseung quickly turned on the shower and got undressed. his pale body uncovering itself and releasing his boner. he cursed his past self for putting on jeans this morning. the tightness of them was suffocating and he basically ripped them off.

god, heeseung felt so guilty for masturbating in the shower. he felt like he was fourteen years old again and just starting puberty. but he felt even more guilty that he was masturbating to the thought of his best friend's little sister.

he had tried so hard to get rid of his feelings for you- because there was just o way that the two of you could work anything out between you two without ruining things with sunghoon for the both of you.

but after 10 months of not seeing you or talking to you, it had just seemed to make his feelings for you stronger. you were so much more mature now, you had finally finished growing into your body, and your voice had toned down a pitch that made him almost melt every time you spoke.

your breasts were perkier, and your clothes were tighter, god he wonders what the guys at your school must think of you now.

he'd be so quick to brag to any of them that he was the one that you thought of when you got yourself off. lee heeseung was the one that park sunghoon's little sister thought of.

though, to heeseung, you were so much more to him than sunghoon's little sister, though, in reality, he knew that you'd have to stay that way. no matter how many times he's thought about- or almost kissed you, you were off-limits. and sunghoon has made that very clear.

still, he couldn't get his mind away from your little whines and your fingers rubbing your clit. his hand got faster and faster as he got himself off in the shower- in your shower.

heeseung thought of fucking you so that you would whine his name out loud so breathlessly again. he thought about how tight your pussy must be- how he'd be the first one to fuck you properly. he wanted to get you to come undone on his cock- for you to scream out his name then as you cling onto him for dear life as your climax hit you.

"god." heeseung whined out quietly, thanking the shower for sounding out his volume. he couldn't hold it any longer, letting his release go, squirting his cum all over his hand and shower wall. his red tip pulsating as he put his forehead on the shower wall beside him.

"fuck." he let out a frustrated sigh, what has he done to himself?

it had been two weeks into your summer vacation with heeseung back to living in your house. it would be the last summer where sunghoon would be living with you for good since he was leaving with heeseung in late august.

you hadn't spoken or even seen heeseung since he caught you masturbating the other day. sunghoon and he had been out with their other friends.

that's good for you though. you didn't know how you could face heeseung after the scene of you that he had seen. you prayed that maybe he'd hit his head and forget about it, but you knew that the chances of that were very slim.

since it was summer break, your sleeping schedule was out of control. you'd stay up until the early hours of the morning and not wake up until dinner time.

your stomach growled as you lay in bed, watching a tv series that you had found online. you glanced up at the time; 3:28 am. you groaned but decided that you should get up and get a little night snack.

at this hour, your house was either blasting with music or as quiet as mouse- depending on whether or not your parents were home. tonight, it was quiet. you could see the flash of the tv on downstairs, but it was obviously muted with no sound coming out of it. you checked and saw that all bedroom doors were closed in the hall- making you wonder who was downstairs at this hour. though, they were probably passed out on the couch.

you quietly made your way down the stairs, walking past the living room and seeing an empty room, thanking the gods that heeseung wasn't there.

the cold kitchen tiles made you thankful that you had socks on as you opened the fridge door, preparing to get some leftovers from the dinner that your mother had made hours ago. you were trying so hard to be quiet, not wanting to wake up anyone upstairs.

"can i have some?" a voice said from behind you, making you jump and cover your mouth with your hand, preventing you from screaming out loud.

heeseung stood in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing a white shirt and his usual grey sweatpants that he normally slept in.

"uh. yeah sure," you replied, turning away from him to avoid eye contact. how was he able to act so normal around you?

"great." heeseung said, you could hear him behind you shuffle to sit down at the small island in your kitchen. "what're you doing awake at this hour?"

"i slept all day today, so i'm wide awake now," you spoke softly, trying not to die out of embarrassment right on the spot. you focused on putting some of your mother's food on a plate for you and heeseung.

"ah, i see." heeseung acknowledged, his fist holding his head up as he looked at you. all you could feel were his eyes on your back. you wished you could have worn something other than your shorts and a tank top. "i like your shorts." you felt the hairs on your body go up at heeseung's compliment as if he was reading your mind. these were the exact shorts you were wearing the other day when he caught you getting off to him.

you cleared your throat as you turned to him with your plates in hand, "uh, thanks." you practically whispered, too afraid to use your voice fully.

heeseung took his plate from you, "thank you for the food." he smiled up at you, his hand covering your own as you transferred the plate from one another. instantly you felt your fingers weaken as his fingers covered your own. they were so long and dainty, so much prettier than your own. "and i'm sorry about the other day, i thought you would've heard me come in."

your eyes widened at his 'apology', humiliation filled you as you turned and looked at him again, a cocky smirk was evident on his face.

"i-i," you started but you had no idea what to say, you wanted to run and hide upstairs in your bedroom for the next month and a half and never come out.

"do you always think of me when you do that?" you could hear small laughter in his tone with his question.

"heeseung." you stated, no hint of laughter in your own, only pure seriousness and humiliation. "i don't think of you, like that. ever." you lied, you can't remember the last time you didn't think about him when your fingers were playing with your pussy.

"c'mon y/n. i heard you moan my name." heeseung shook his head with a knowing look. "at first i thought i was hearing things, but with the way that you couldn't just stop staring at my fingers just now, i don't think i was just hearing things." you cursed yourself for moaning his name so idiotically loud last time you got off.

heeseung took a step towards you again, so now you're bodies were almost touching as he looked down at you. he towered over you when he stood. "plus, you're such a bad liar y/n, you only ever call me 'heeseung' when you're hiding something." suddenly you were thrown back into all the memories that you were hiding something when he spoke to you. did you really only use his full name when you were trying to keep something hidden? how did he know you so well?

"so? do you always think of me when you get yourself off, y/n?" heeseung repeated himself, a cocky smirk on his face as he watched you try to avoid eye contact. when you could only offer a meek nod and a shy smile, a big smile spread across heeseung's pretty lips. "how about i give you something to think about next time you need to cum?" you looked up at him in shock at his words, not expecting him to speak to you like this. this was something that you only ever imagined he say to you. "can i touch you y/n?" he bent his head down so he could look right into your eyes. you nodded in response. "yeah?" he wanted to confirm.

"yes. hee, please touch me." heeseung's body pushed you up against the kitchen wall behind you suddenly. his warm-core meeting your own as his scent filled your senses. you turned your head to the side and could see directly out of the kitchen doorway the stairs and part of the living room. if anyone came down they could totally see you and heeseung,.

"relax, y/n, sunghoonie passed out hours ago and you know how heavy your parents sleep, we'll be fine." heeseung whispered into your ear, sensing your worry.

"okay." you whispered out to him, relaxing into his touch. you thought he was going to kiss you when his face got close to yours, but he turned down and started to kiss down your neck. you moved your head to the side so he could have better access to finding your sweet spot. you bucked your hips into him when he found it. making him smile against your neck as he continued to kiss there. "you can't leave marks, hee." you reminded him, making him grunt out at the realization.

"you're sure i can touch you, y/n?" heeseung pulled away once more, hoping to not ruin things between the two of you and your brother.

"please, hee, i wanna feel you." heeseung smiled at your response kissing your forehead before running his hands down your sides and began playing with the hem of your shorts. your faces were close together as you both looked down at his dainty fingers slipping into your shorts. it surprised him when he realized you weren't wearing any panties.

his fingers were instantly met with your wetness, spreading your juices around and coating your fingers. if it was anyone else besides heeseung you were sure that you'd be embarrassed, but you couldn't help it now. this was something that you had thought about for years, and now it was finally happening.

heeseung slipped one finger into your core, making you close your eyes at the impact at first, ready to feel more of him. he kissed your shoulder as he slowly worked his one finger in and out of you, warming you up.

his thumb started to circle your engorged clit, making you buck your hips up at the tension. you could feel him smile against your skin at your actions. no matter what situation you were in, heeseung would always find you cute.

when heeseung adds another finger inside of you, he slowly starts to curl his fingers inside, trying to find your sensitive spot. you have to bite back your moan when he finds it, your grip tightening on his shoulder, letting him know. heeseung's pace slowly starts to speed up as he watches your face curl up in pleasure.

"god princess, you don't understand how long i've wanted to feel you like this," he whispers out to you, your shampoo filling his senses as he leans his face into your head, pressing soft kisses against you, an action that was so different compared to the speed he was going at on your core.

his confession sent butterflies to your stomach and your heart, you could only shake your head as a response to him, looking him in the eyes.

"do you not know how many guys would fucking kill to see you like this, y/n? why do you think sunghoon is so protective of you? do you know how many times he's had to deal with sleazy guys talking about what they'd do to you if they had the chance? and god it pisses me off when i have to hear it, too."

"w-why does it piss you off, hee?" you whimper out to him, the pressure on your clit growing as his actions continue. heeseung swears his cock grows harder at the way you say his nickname.

"because no guy deserves to see you like this, to feel you like this, to get you to come undone on their fingers like this. except for me right y/n? you're just for me, yeah?"

"yes, hee, o-only for you."

heeseung bends his head into your neck again, kissing everyone as a sign of appreciation for being such a good girl for him. you're always such a good girl.

he feels your hole clench around his fingers as he speeds up his actions. "are you gonna come for me y/n?" you nodded weakly as a response, your lower stomach becoming tight as you feel heeseung all around you, wishing that it wouldn't stop ever.

"come on, y/n. i wanna feel you come all over my fingers." heeseung whispers into your ear, biting gently on the tip of it.

"i'm- i, coming." you moaned out, wrapping your hand around heeseung's wrist as he speeds up even faster.

at once, your climax hits you hard, your eyes shutting close at the pleasure heeseung gave you. heeseung slowed down his pace when you were calming down, kissing your forehead gently before he pulled out, not wanting to overstimulate you.

he put his fingers in between you two so you could see. his fingers were wet and glistening from your juices. he slipped his fingers into his mouth, humming around them.

"hee." you meekly whispered out, your hand coming onto hold his wrist, embarrassed that he was tasting you so feverishly.

"what?" heeseung put his fingers away from you with a laugh, "you taste good."

"hee," you whine, a smile of your own coming onto your face through humiliation.

"you're so cute." heeseung confessed yet again, backing away from you so you could straighten out against the wall.

the kitchen fell into the same silence that filled the rest of the house. you were still basking in the fact that lee heeseung just fingered you into the kitchen. it was seriously a dream come true.

"so, i guess i'll you go eat now." heeseung said casually, looking at your untouched plate of food on the island.

"yeah, okay. i'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"yeah if you don't sleep all day again." heeseung teased you, passing you your plate of food.

"whatever." you rolled your eyes with a smile, backing out of the kitchen and heading back to your bedroom up the stairs. at the top you turned around and saw heeseung leaning onto the kitchen doorway, his arms crossed across his chest, a smirk on his face as he watched you smile back at him and disappear out of sight.

you left a feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain, but he didn't want to get rid of it.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

the morning, you woke up with tiredness still filling your body. you definitely should sleep more, but you wanted to see what heeseung and your brother were doing.

opening your bedroom door, you heard your family's chatter downstairs. you hurriedly skipped downstairs and into the kitchen where they were all sat. your eyes fell immediately onto heeseung, who definitely looked like he needed more sleep as well.

"we'll only be gone three days!" sunghoon said, patting your mom on the shoulder as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"okay, you boys better have fun and be safe ok?" your mother responded, rolling her eyes when heeseung and sunghoon high-fived each other across the table.

"what's going on?" you asked from the doorway, glancing at the spot where heeseung had fingered just mere hours before. your family and heeseung turned and looked at you.

"the boys and we are going to jay's cabin for the weekend." sunghoon teasingly smiled, "and NO you cannot come." you saw heeseung smile down at the table behind sunghoon.

"i wouldn't want to be trapped in the middle of the woods with you guys anyways." you rolled your eyes, grabbing some water from the fridge.

"yeah right, i knew you were gonna ask as soon as i finished the sentence, y/n." sunghoon nudged you teasingly.

"whatever hoonie, i hope you guys have fun." you leaned back against the counter.

"god i hope you guys stay safe, seriously." your mother desperate, your father wrapping his arm around her while winking at the boys.

you were a little upset that you wouldn't be able to see heeseung for a couple of days, after just being so intimate with him. but it's not like you guys were together! no, he just fingered you, that's all. and called you cute. and told you that he gets pissed when other guys talk about you. okay fuck, maybe you were gonna miss him a lot for the next three days.

"let's go pack, hee." sunghoon grabbed heeseung's shoulder, taking him away from the table and back upstairs. heeseung barely looked at you as he left, making your chest feel empty. of course, he probably just didn't want sunghoon to think there was anything going on between you two.

you sat down at the island in your kitchen and started scrolling through social media while your mother prepared breakfast for everyone. you almost dropped your phone in your water when you just so happened to press minjeong's snapchat story.

it was a selfie of her and her friends in their bikini tops : so excited for this weekend! see you guys soon! @ heeseung @ sunghoon @ jay @ jake.

the sinking feeling returned to your stomach as you stared at the four girls that would be going on the trip with them. you already knew what minjeong looked like very well, but in this picture, she looked extra pretty. she was the complete opposite of what you looked like, and she was heeseung's age, making her more mature than you.

heeseung would definitely be into more mature girls. they were sexy and experienced and knew what they wanted. you were younger and cute. that's what he called you. cute. the once compliment now added to the sinking feeling in your stomach. maybe that's why heeseung wasn't looking at you this morning. you were sunghoon's baby sister, so cute and easy to forget. now he gets to spend three days with sexy minjeong, who's already tried to get into heeseung's pants before. maybe she succeeded when they were away at university, who knows?

fuck. now you really didn't want heeseung to go.

you stayed put in your bedroom for the rest of the morning, even when you heard sunghoon and heeseung leaving. you watched them jump into jake's jeep when he and jay pulled up to pick them up. their bags were thrown into the truck before jumping into the backseat. when they drove away you thought for sure your stomach had gone with them it felt so low and empty.

heeseung 🤎 : i'll see you sunday :)

your phone buzzed when he texted you.

you stared at his message for a while, not sure if you should answer or not. by the time you stopped contemplating if you should reply or not, it had been hours and you decided to just leave it. it's not his fault that there are so many sexy girls that would kill to have him on top of them, but still, you wanted him to just be yours.

you avoided going onto snapchat for the first day while they were away. you couldn't deal with seeing them all have fun without. and god forbid you to see any of the girls and heeseung being a little too close.

you had to deal with heeseung bringing girls to your house, making out with them in front of you, or talking about fucking some girl from your school for years. so now, when you've finally had your chance with heeseung, you didn't know how you could ever go back to pretending that what he was saying wasn't bothering you.

sunoo came over saturday night, hoping to cheer you up a little.

"heeseung did what to you in your kitchen?" sunoo gasped loudly, making you cover his mouth in fear that your parents would hear and put two and two together about what he was talking about.

"shh god! do you always have to be so loud! you tsked at your best friend.

"i'm sorry! but i mean, this is something that we've only ever joked about for years!"

"that's what im saying!" you nodded to him, glad that it wasn't just you that was shocked.

"god, was it good?"

"really good." you raised your eyebrows, making the both of you laugh.

"so now what? are you guys finally gonna date?"

"of course not! are you kidding me?" you lay back on your bed, thinking about how that could never happen in a million years. not when heeseung is so important to sunghoon.

"why not? i'm sure sunghoon wouldn't kill his best friend?" sunoo lay down beside you on his stomach so he could face you.

"i'm sure he would." you nodded sarcastically, "heeseung is the only person that sunghoon's ever 100 percent trusted. how would he feel if that person went and started dating me?! his little sister?!" you exclaimed, your hands shaking out in the air.

"god, you need a drink." sunoo laughed.

"fuck, yeah i do."

sunoo and you drank quietly in your room until it was approaching 10pm. you were both upset, and drunk and you couldn't stop thinking about heeseung.

"i cannot believe he's with that minjeong girl right now!" you slurred, trying to apply some lip gloss in your mirror as sunoo lay on your bed.

"i heard that she slept with that yeonjun guy before he graduated." sunoo nodded, looking at you through your mirror's reflection.

"choi yeonjun?!" you gasped in shock. he was only the school's hottest it boy for years. even when you were in elementary school you heard about his beauty. "my god, this minjeong is living the dream." you continued to stare at yourself in the mirror with a frown. "i wish i was as sexy as her. guys seem to only like the sexy girls, i swear."

"you're sexy, y/n!" sunoo cheered, coming up behind you and squeezing your cheeks.

"god, sunoo." you pushed his hands off of your face, "i am definitely not sexy when you squeeze my face like that." making both of you laugh.

"i say, you get all dressed up and send a sexy pic to heeseung, i'm sure that'll make him realize just how sexy you are, he'll want to come home right away!" sunoo planted the idea in your head, allowing for you to contemplate it. if you hadn't been drinking for five hours already, you're sure that you would've been totally against the idea. but you were so intoxicated, and jealous of minjeong and missing heeseung that you agreed to the idea immediately.

sunoo and you tore through your closet for a while, trying to figure out what to wear for the picture.

"what about this?" sunoo pulled out a black-lined, mesh bralette from the back of your closet. "i think this is sexy."

"that is too sexy and i think i'll be too weird if i wear that." you gasped. you had only worn it once underneath your clothes and you felt uncomfortable all day. but maybe that was a good thing. you should get out of your cute comfortableness and into something more sexy and mature.

"what? no! heeseung will love this, y/n. when has he ever seen you in something like this?" sunoo asked, which made you think about it. all he ever really saw you in was your school uniform and your pajamas. you never really tried to go all out when you were in your own home.

"fine, give me the thing i'll go put it on." you snatched the mesh fabric out of sunoo's hand, a devilish grin on sunoo's face as he cheered you on.

pulling the bralette over your head and down your body seemed to be the only easy part of this 'mission'. staring at yourself in the mirror while wearing it was hard to get used to. you had never worn such a thing so carelessly before.

sunoo gasped when you walked back into your bedroom with the bralette on.

"my god y/n, you really are sexy!" he jumped up, shaking your shoulders, making you feel a little better about your appearance.

trying to take a sexy selfie was definitely the hardest thing you've had to do in your life up to this point. sunoo was trying to teach you tips on how to find a good selfie angle that would broadcast to heeseung that you are done being cute- you're sexy now.

"now, put the camera higher up!" sunoo instructed, following right after. "yeah like that! now only put one side of your face in it! - and make sure your chest is in it still!"

*click*

"well, let's see it." sunoo said, pushing so he sat beside you as you pressed the picture. both of you gasping as it appeared on the screen.

"sexy," you said in unison, high-fiving each other.

you stood up and put your sweater back on over your body, wanting to cover up as soon as possible again, "god and now i'm scared to send it to him." you told sunoo nervously.

"what? why? it's a good picture!"

"yeah, it's a good picture but it's heeseung and it's me," you explained to your pink haired friend.

"i don't understand. don't you want to do this? i thought you liked him."

"i do! but i don't know. what if he doesn't like it?"

"y/n, trust me, he'll love it. here come sit, let's press send together."

you sat close to sunoo, opening up heeseung's and your messages, his unanswered text from the day before still there.

"okay, ready?" sunoo asked you, holding your phone with you.

"ready."

"three, two, one." you both press send at the same time with your thumbs.

"ahhhh! what did we just do?" you stood up, fear coursing through you.

"i don't know! you just sent lee heeseung a sexy picture!" sunoo stood up after you, feared for you.

"why did we do that?!"

"i don't know!"

"i need a drink!" you gasped, searching around your room for the liquor bottle that sunoo had brought over.

heeseung wanted to go home as soon as they got to the cabin yesterday.

he didn't know what was wrong with him.

usually, this was his type of scene: a party, four hot chicks, and his three best friends. what else could he ask for? he laughed at himself as he thought this.

y/n. that's what else he could ask for.

he'd trade all the hot chicks in the world if it meant that he could have you all to himself.

heeseung remembers the first time he saw park sunghoon. it was the first day of his year 10 and he saw a short year 9 wandering lost around the hallways. heeseung remembers thinking, 'hey give that kid some height and a good fashion sense and he wouldn't be that embarrassing to hang around with.". heeseung laughs at the memory.

heeseung and sunghoon clicked almost instantly when heeseung introduced himself in the hallway. they were both driven and had goals, and they really liked to fucking party. sunghoon introduced heeseung to jay and jake later that day at lunch, and that's how their little friend group had started. the 02z and their 'grandpa'.

"i told you not to call me that, jake!" heeseung shoved jake's shoulder in the cafeteria.

"i know i know! i'm sorry, grandpa- i mean heeseung! heeseung!!" jake screeched in shock, making the jay and sunghoon laugh at jake's slip up. "i really didn't mean to call you it that time!"

"yeah, whatever." heeseung rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile as he continued to eat his ramen for lunch.

he remembers when park sunghoon first invited him to his house. he was so honored that someone was giving him a chance to get out of his own house.

heeseung never really got along with the rest of his family. he loved them, and they loved him, but they all had the same morals and values in life that were opposite of heeseungs. it was difficult to get through a conversation with them about anything. that's why he was so happy when sunghoon invited him over- it meant that he could stay somewhere away from his family.

he remembers the first time that he saw you. you were sitting at the island in your kitchen. sunghoon was introducing him to his mother, but heeseung could barely take his eyes off of you.

he knew that sunghoon had a little sister, but he didn't know that she'd be so cute. you were sitting there eating the dinner that your mom had made you, your black hair that matched sunghoon's was thrown up in a messy ponytail and your knee was pressed against the counter from the position you sat in the chair.

heeseung remembers the way that you tried to avoid eye contact with him as you blushed when you two made eye contact. the mole on your nose bridge matched sunghoon's, but it looked so much more appealing on you than it did your brother. he remembers your quiet little 'hi' that you spoke out, making heeseung smile at the memory.

when sunghoon pulled him away from his family, he remembers wishing for an excuse to go back downstairs so that he could see you again, but no ideas really came to his head.

the next day at school, heeseung asked jay and jake about you.

"god, don't even mention her when sunghoon's around." jay shook his head, taking a bite out of his food.

"what? why?" heeseung asked curiously.

"has sunghoon not had the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with you?" jake asked him from across the table.

"no? what the hell is that?" heeseung asked, surprised when jay and jake made a knowing look at each other.

"trust me, you'll get it some day." jay poionted his fork at heeseung.

"basically, sunghoon is just really protective over y/n. he tells everyone that if they even stare at her for longer than five seconds he'll kill them. so yeah, don't even try to mess around with park y/n." jake explained to the older boy, who could only nod in response. heeseung mentally kicked you out of his brain that day, wishing to never think of you again while he was friends with sunghoon.

but it was so hard not to think about you when he saw you every day. and every day you seemed to get more and more attractive to him. the sarcasm that you used with your brother, the care that used with your friends and parents, the natural beauty that you gave off in the morning when you just woke up. it was all too much for heeseung to be able to ignore.

so heeseung waited, and waited, and waited for the day that sunghoon would have the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with him.

but the day never came.

heeseung had heard sunghoon have the conversation with practically everyone that he had ever interacted with- except for heeseung. it made heeseung nervous. so nervous.

he waiting for the day that he'd let it slip that he thinks sunghoon's little sister is the hottest fucking thing he's ever seen and would mess up his years-long friendship with his best friend- but it never happened. sunghoon had so much trust in heeseung that anything about you and heeseung together never really bothered sunghoon.

heeseung wondered if it was maybe because he was older than sunghoon. he was more mature and responsible. but that didn't explain why sunghoon had held lee jeno by the collar when he heard that jeno wanted to 'fuck park y/n from behind' since jeno was a year older than heeseung himself.

he didn't know exactly what it was with himself that sunghoon had trusted so much. sunghoon has personally seen how heeseung has treated some of the girls in the school. he has heard heeseung explain all the dirty things he wants to do to certain girls that they all find hot. but still, he's the only boy that sunghoon trusts around his 'baby' sister.

when he graduated last year and almost kissed you in the hall, he knew that he was in some dangerous territory. he wished then that sunghoon would have had the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with him because there was nothing stopping him from taking you right then and there. it pained him to come to his senses and pull away from you. how could he be such a terrible friend to his best friend?

heeseung thought that his feelings would go away over his first year at university. there were so many new, hot girls around! new hot girls that he wouldn't have time to think about you he'd be so busy with them. but that only worked for the first month.

no girls could compare to you, not even the ones he knew had some good pussy; like minjeong. he had heard so many stories about kim minjeong (choi yeonjun even fucked her!) but he couldn't bear to hook up with her when all he could see was your face and hear your laughter.

when he returned home three weeks ago, he didn't expect you to have matured too much. sure you were still cute but he couldn't even look at you without thinking of all the nasty things he would do to you. 'thank god sunghoon can't read minds' he remembers thinking when he stepped into the door and saw you standing there on the steps.

ever since he's been back he's had a hard time holding himself back from you. before all he had to do was think of his friendship with your brother, but now, he felt like that meant almost nothing to him if it meant that he could be with you.

heeseung felt guilty after fingering you in your kitchen. the home where a family welcomes him with big arms when his own family doesn't. under the same roof where his best friend lies asleep, trusting him with his life. just for what? for him to use you like all the other girls he's used before? it's not like you could ever be together. it was a one-time thing and that's it and now he's probably hurt you since you didn't even answer his text yesterday.

his mind was just full of park y/n that it was pooling out the sides of his ears.

his phone vibrating shook him out of his thoughts of you for a millisecond, before bringing him right back in.

park y/n <3 : Slide to view image.

heeseung instantly opened his phone to see what you had sent him. thinking that it was probably some stupid meme, or had some sort of inside joke that would be between the two of you.

god was he wrong.

he abruptly put his phone to his chest, in fear that any of the seven other people (including your brother!!!!!) would see. they all seemed to be in their own worlds as he sat in front of the small campfire they had built. sunghoon had one of minjeong's friends on his lap, so he totally wasn't interested in anything that anyone else was doing.

heeseung put his phone's brightness on low as he pressed the picture you had sent him. never in his life did he think you'd send him such a picture or wear such a revealing top.

the more he looked at your picture, the more he could feel his cock grow hard in his pants. your tits were basically on full display for him as the black mesh bralette you were wearing hid almost nothing. the way you were biting your red-tinted lip drove him crazy. your pretty hair swiveled down your exposed shoulder- the shoulder where he had kissed you so soft before that it had made you whine out so needily for him.

"fuck." heeseung mumbled out, trying to hide his boner.

"what's wrong heeseungie, are you okay?" minjeong suddenly appeared beside him, making him lock his phone immediately.

"what? yeah! i'm fine!" heeseung said with a forced cheery voice.

"hm," minjeong pouted, sitting on the chair's handle beside him, "you haven't been yourself since we've gotten here, are you sure you're okay?"

yeah! i'm fine! i have a boner bc of sunghoon's little sister and SUNGHOON IS SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE! heeseung mentally screamed at the clueless girl beside him.

"yeah, i'm good." heeseung nodded, pulling his sweater done more to cover his bulge.

"how about you come up to my room with me? maybe i could make you feel great!" minjeong winked at him.

and if heeseung was his past self. the self that didn't know what your pussy tasted like, that didn't know you liked to be called princess when you're getting off, that didn't know just how much you liked him back- then sure, he'd follow kim minjeong up to her temporary room and fuck her. he'd fuck her so that he'd forget about not being able to ever be with his best friend's sister. but he was just not that heeseung anymore.

uh, i don'-" heeseung was about to decline when someone from across their small little outdoor kickback had answered practically for him.

"yeah, heeseung, why don't you go have fun upstairs? you really haven't been yourself." sunghoon spoke to him, the girl on his lips smiling at minjeong with a knowing look that made heeseung want to scream.

but of course, sunghoon could see that heeseung hadn't been himself this weekend. sunghoon could see that heeseung was anything other than practically in love with his little sister.

"come on heeseungie~!" minjeong whined out, grabbing a hold of his hand.

"okay." heeseung had to force out, smiling at the girl. he remembers thinking about how pretty minjeong was last year. he remembers how all the guys in the school used to drool over her. he'd kill to get inside minjeong just based on how pretty she was. but now, as he's looking up at her from his seat, and the campfire is lighting up her small face, he can't help but think about how average-looking she is. she is no longer the girl that belonged in magazines, or the girl that looks like she could be a princess- she's just okay.

and heeseung thinks that every girl from now will just be 'okay' looking since he's seen how beautiful you are.

minjeong drags him up to her room in the cabin, a small but cozy room and pushes him onto her bed. fuck, i still have a boner and it's NOT from this girl fuck, is all that heeseung can think.

"look, minjeong-" heeseung starts, but is interrupted by her sitting on his lap. her lips start kissing up to his neck, glad to finally have lee heeseung underneath her.

"minjeong." heeseung states, his hands resting on her skin so she can't move closer.

"hm?" she whimpers out to him, too entranced with trying to make him feel good.

"i can't do this... with you." heeseung finishes, and the once pretty girl pulls away from him and looks at him with confusion.

"well what do you mean, heeseungie?" she asks, her nickname for him rolls off her tongue so easily and he hates it. heeseung gently pushes her off of him so that she sits beside him on the bed. "what are you doing?"

"we can't have sex, minjeong."

minjeong scoffs at heeseung, "are you being serious?" she asks, her once the cute tone of her voice drops drastically. "we've been screwing around for how long now? and you're just telling me now that you're uninterested?"

"yeah, pretty much. and i'm sorry."

"oh shut the fuck up." minjeong stands up now, fixing her shirt so it's back in place. her outburst takes heeseung aback as he looks up at her. "i've wanted you since we were in year 10, lee heeseung. and now that i've almost finally got you, i just can't? what is it? seriously? why can't you just want me back?"

heeseung stares at minjeong with an unreadable expression. he has no idea how to respond to such a confession from a girl who's never thought anything about it besides that maybe at one time she was hot.

"hm?" minjeong urges him when he doesn't answer.

"i just... don't like you, like that- i'm sorry! i am! but-"

"you're so pathetic, heeseung. and i mean it. you go around fucking every other girl around here, so many girls that you can't even remember if you've fucked them already or not, and you just can't settle down for one girl? why can't you just be with me? are you really that much of a douchebag?"

heeseung starts to smile at how wrong her statement is about him.

"you think it's funny do you? that you can break so many girls' hearts?" minjeong scoffs at him, crossing her arms across her chest.

"no, that's not the funny part." heeseung shakes his head and looks straight into minjeong's eyes, "the funny part is that i can settle down for one girl. i already have the girl that i can settle down with- but we can't be together. and that's why we can't have sex minjeong, because i love her and it's too painful now to be with anyone but her."

minjeong's eyes soften at his explanation, her arms becoming loose and hanging at her sides as she stares at heeseung. she feels tears well up in her eyes as she realizes that the boy she truly wants has fallen in love with someone else right in front of her.

"well, whoever the girl is, she's one lucky son of a bitch." minjeong states and then takes a deep breath, backing up and opening her bedroom door for heeseung to leave, now counting down the seconds for when she can leave this cabin tomorrow.

"fuck sunoo, he read it and hasn't responded." you groan, sitting down on the edge of your bed, your heart beating out of your chest at the word read, "i really fucked it up didn't i?"

"no! you didn't! he's probably just masturbating to it because he couldn't handle your sexiness." sunoo reassured you, coming to rest his head on your stressed shoulder.

"or sunghoon saw it and he's not shoving heeseung's dead body into the lake."

"right, or that." sunoo pointed out sarcastically, making you smile a little bit. "he's probably just drunk and fell asleep. they're coming back tomorrow so you can talk about it then, right?"

"yeah, i guess." you shrugged, laying down in frustration, "ugh, what have i done?"

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

you dreaded the sound of your brother's voice echoing through the house on the late sunday afternoon, the day after you sent lee heeseung a 'sexy selfie'.

"we're home~!" sunghoon called out, cheers from your parents downstairs were heard then. you made your way out of your bedroom and down the stairs to greet your brother and his best friend. your heart was pounding as you saw heeseung's dark green hair in the front hall.

"how was it you guys?" your mother asked, hugging them as they came through the door, your dad was helping move their bags to the side.

"it was fun! jay got so sunburnt he can hardly move!" sunghoon laughed out loud, making heeseung smile.

"oh no," your mother frowned, obviously not finding it as funny as they did. "you guys must be hungry! dinner is ready now so come and eat, you can put away your stuff later! you come down now too, y/n!" your mother pointed you out in your 'hiding' spot in the middle of the staircase. sunghoon and heeseung turned at the mention of your name. sunghoon is backing up to the staircase with his knees bent for you to get on his back.

you climbed on and pulled his hair as a joke, "hey! watch it!" sunghoon grunted out at you, a teasing smile on his face. "one of us has got to have some good hair and it's obviously not gonna be you so you have to protect this one."

"shut up! oh my god!" you laughed out, holding onto his shoulders as he carried you through the house to the table. you rested your cheek on his back and glanced at heeseung, who held a soft smile on his face as he watched you and your brother interact somewhat lovingly.

"so, what did you do at the cabin?" your father asked once you were all sat down in your usual spots.

"eh, just swam and hung around, listened to some music, the usual stuff i guess but in a different location." sunghoon shrugged, winking at heeseung. the wink sent a heavy feeling into your stomach again- a feeling that you're starting to get used to at this point since it happens so much. "i am really tired though." sunghoon suddenly yawned into his plate.

"well that's because it was the first fresh air you've gotten in the past five years- all you do is play video games inside." you teased your brother. "ow!" you yelped, feeling the harsh jab of his foot in your calf.

"Seriously, you guys? will you ever get along properly?" your mother asked, exhaustion showed on her face, "how do you deal with it, heeseung?"

heeseung smiled awkwardly now that all the attention was on him, "i have no idea." he deadpanned, making you all laugh around the table.

since sunghoon was so tired from this weekend, he went to bed early, along with your parents who had to prepare for a week full of work starting tomorrow.

so basically your house was silent by 10pm as you lay awake in your bed once again.

heeseung 🤎 : are you awake?

you got flashbacks from when he had texted you this before years ago, you wondered if he was having the same memory as he sent it.

you : yes

heeseung 🤎 : can i come to ur room?

you : my door's open

you sat up in your bed waiting for him, unlike the last time he asked to come into your room late at night, it only took him a minute for him to quietly slip into your bedroom.

"hi," he spoke out softly to you as he stood beside your bed, he seemed to be shy as he stood in front of you now.

"do you wanna lay down?" you asked him, figuring that he was just as tired as sunghoon was from being away all weekend.

"if you don't mind." heeseung agreed to it, you removed the corner of your blanket so he could lay down underneath it as an answer.

so now you and lee heeseung were laying together in your bed. both of your hearts were racing as you thought about what to say.

"i uh," heeseung spoke finally, "i liked the picture you sent."

"you did?"

heeseung turned his head to look at you, you were just as pretty in the moonlight as he remembered, "of course i did." his answer made you smile so big, that you felt like you had to hide it. "why wouldn't i have liked it?"

"i don't know," you shrugged, embarrassed at the real reason. heeseung turned so that he was on his side now, his head on your pillow, smelling your shampoo.

"you must know, so just tell me." he urged you gently.

"i'm not- i'm not very sexy, so i wanted to be sexy for you," you confessed with a blush on your pale cheeks.

"y/n," heeseung called you after a minute of silence, his fingers wrapping around your chin so you could look at him, "i think you're sexy all the time. no matter what you do. you don't have to try to be sexy for me when you already are."

"you think i'm sexy?"

"mhm," heeseung nodded against your sheets, you wondered if when he left would his own shampoo be mixed in with yours now, "i think you're cute too, a beautiful, funny, sarcastic, smart, caring. i mean the list could go on about how many great things i find you."

your heart immediately swelled at heeseung's words, this is all that you ever wanted to hear from him and now it's happening. instead of answering, you pushed your lips against his. so you were finally kissing.

instantly, as if it was a habit that's been built up over years, heeseung tangles his fingers into your hair, pulling you closer to him to deepen the kiss. it was a sloppy but meaningful kiss, filled with words that neither of you could speak out loud to each other.

heeseung pulled away when both of you were out of breath, "Fuck, y/n." he stared at you with such adoration on his face. you brushed against his grey sweatpants as you tried to pull the blanket over him more, feeling the soft stir of his dick twitch at your movement.

"are you?-" you didn't know how to exactly say what you were thinking but heeseung got it and nodded, a shy smile on his face.

"i'm sorry, i told you that you were sexy."

you grabbed his face in your hands and pressed his lips to yours again in a more feverish way. a way that both of you have been thinking about since you first saw each other.

"i want you heeseung." you whispered to him - to only him.

"yeah?" heeseung asked, pulling your lips onto his again.

"yeah, i want you to be my first." heeseung pulled away far from you then in shock.

"you're first?" heeseung repeated, "you mean, last time- that was the first time you've ever been, you know, finger-?"

"no! that wasn't the first, i mean it was the first time i guy's made me cum, but i now i mean, first as in, sex. full-on sex," you mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"oh my god okay, you scared me for a second, jesus." heeseung put a hand over his heart to calm it down. "being fingered really sloppily in a kitchen does not sound like a good first fingering my god."

"yeah, well at least you made me cum." you smiled at him, kissing his cute lips once again.

"i don't want to hurt you though, princess." heeseung pulled away, ;"it always hurts the first time, no?"

"i know you'll be gentle, hee, i trust you." his heart thumped at his chest at your words- now both park siblings trusted him too much,.

"okay, okay." heeseung nodded, kissing you deeply again. you felt his hands sneak over your body going underneath your tank top and pulling it up over your head. even in the dark moonlight, he could see how pretty your breasts were.

"shit, even prettier than how i imagined." heeseung spoke out, his hands coming up to squeeze your hardened nipples, making you whine out.

"sensitive still," you spoke softly, no one's touched like this before, especially no one that you've wanted this long to before.

heeseung felt his cock twitch in his sweatpants again at your words. you were going to kill him. you were going to fucking kill him with how hot you are.

"fuck." heeseung shook his head, wrapping his hands around your waist now and moving so that you sat on top of him, right on his bulge that was aching for you.

"i want your top off, too." you whined, your hands roaming over his chest, tugging his shirt off of his head, making him laugh at how cute you're being. you flung his shirt onto the floor once it was over his head. his tan skin still glowing in the moonlight. you had seen heeseung shirtless countless times around your house, in pictures, or in your pool, but never in a situation like this. he was always pretty, but he was beautiful while laying underneath you. all his pretty freckles and scars, free for your eyes only in a time like this.

"beautiful," you spoke your mind, bending down and kissing down his chest until you were above his sweatpant waistband.

"y/n," heeseung moaned out once your hand brushed over his cock.

"i wanna suck you off, hee." heeseung eyes rolled to the back of his head at your words. he's been sucked off so many times before, but he knows that none of them will ever live up to how you will do it.

"next time, princess, okay? i just wanna focus on you now."

you pouted, but let him slip off those fucking shorts he loves seeing you in so much. your bare core open for him to see. "so cute." he admired as his soft hands grazed around your bare body for him to see. his cock was dripping at the thought that he's the only one and will always be the only one to see you like this.

your hands slipped underneath heeseung's sweatpants, your hands encircling his hard cock and pulling it out for you to see. your thighs twitched as it came into eye contact, your pussy leaking onto his sweatpants at how pretty it looked. it matched the rest of him perfectly. Its red tip look painful for how hard it was, and precum was flowing out everywhere for how turned on he was.

your hands jerked him off gently, spreading his precum around so it would fit in your tiny hole. you stood up on your knees, ready for him to finally enter you when he grabbed your wrist.

"wait!" heeseung whispered and shouted at you, "Are you wet enough?" he asked, suddenly his hand slipped between your legs, making you almost cry out from the sudden pleasure. his fingers easily slipped inside of your hole, finding your sensitive spot effortlessly now. when he figured that you were ready for him, he lets you carry on, holding onto his dick and ready to enter you.

slowly but surely you pushed his cock inside of you, his hands ran up and down your sides, encouraging you that you were doing well. you tried to keep your walls unclenched as he eased more inside of you. when you couldn't take any more of him, you put your hands on his chest and sat still for a moment, trying to calm all your nerves and the pain that shot through your core.

heeseung had to physically hold himself back from bucking up into you or moving at all. he was pushing his hips away from you, toward the bed so he wouldn't make you hurt further.

"you're doing so well, princess, feel so good around me already." heeseung moaned out to you, his finger slipping towards your clit and circling it, making you have to bite down on his shoulder to keep you quiet.

"fuck, hee, i really don't know if i can be quiet with you inside of me." you admitted, the feeling of his cock so much.

"i know baby, me neither, but we're gonna have to be unless you want your family to find us." heeseung replied, his fingers still playing with your clit as he waited for you to move. at his words he felt you clench around his cock tightly, making him bite his lip from pleasure, "do you like the thought of people walking in on us? at least then people would know how much we care about each other, yeah?"

you nodded as you started to your hips up and down on his cock, it was already hitting all the perfect spots inside of you.

"god, hee i might cum." you moaned out quietly into his ear.

"already?" heeseung mocked but was also pretty shocked. his fingers sped up around your clit, wanted to feel how tight your walls would clench around him when you came.

your orgasm hit you hard as you continued to move your hips on his cock, rocking your clit into his fingers. your mouth formed a quiet 'O' as your orgasm hit its peak before fading away. "so pretty, my princess." heeseung kissed your forehead, "so pretty when you come undone on my cock."

"you just feel so good." you groaned, grinding your clit down on his pelvis now, feeling his cock twitch inside of you as he watched you get yourself off on him.

heeseung was still holding back from coming as he watched you work yourself up again, using him as a toy. you were seriously the hottest thing he's ever seen and the only thing that was preventing him from coming right then and there was the idea of getting you to come again before him.

your pussy was so wet that if anyone walked past your door they could hear it squelch from the impact of you bouncing up and down on heeseung's cock.

"fuck hee!" you moaned out, leaning down to bite on his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. another orgasm came from you as heeseung played with your clit once again, sending you over the edge.

"shit y/n, you feel so tight around me. i can fucking feel you come on me." heeseung groaned, his eyes rolling back to his head again as he held himself back from coming inside of you. you stopped your movements as your second orgasm subsided, needing a breather for coming so hard twice so quick.

"are you good, princess?" heeseung whispered to you, kissing your head as you calmed down.

"yeah, so good." you slurred back to him, feeling drunk off the pleasure that his cock was giving you, you've never felt so good in your entire life.

"can you come again for me? just once more, i'm so close." heeseung asked you, his hips grinding in slow circles underneath you.

"y-yeah, only if you fuck me now."

"i got you, princess." heeseung nodded, before gently flipping you over so that he was on top of you, his cock not slipping out of you once.

the two of you were silent as heeseung slowly pounded into you, taking his time with you as if this would be the first and last time he's gotten you like this.

he;'s taken his time to remember how you feel, how you look, and how you sound when you're so fucked out for him. it's surely only what dreams are made out of.

heeseung gives you a few more hard thrusts until his cum was filling you up, a moan of your own escaping at the feeling, a smaller orgasm taking over your body as you both still against each other, taking in the moment of pleasure between you two.

you feel heeseung's cum gush out of you as he pulls his limp dick out of you now, careful not to touch your sensitive clit.

"mm, heeseung." you called his full name, catching his full attention now, "i wanna taste you this time."

"you're gonna get me hard again, fuck." heeseung shook his head at you, gently pushing his fingers between your slit, making your hips buck up at the sensation. his cum was on his two fingers as he brought them to your mouth.

you happily sucked them into your mouth, tasting his sweet cum as if it was the last thing you'd ever taste. "y/n." he moaned out as he watched you slurp every drop from his fingers. "i really am gonna need a blowjob from you." he admitted, feeling his cock twitch at the sight of you.

"next time." you smiled up at him, an innocent smile during something that is the complete opposite.

to say that you and heeseung felt guilty for hiding your relationship from sunghoon and your parents was an understatement- you were both practically ripping your hair out from the stress and anxiety of them finding out and sunghoon killing his best friend and your boyfriend.

you : what the fuck am i gonna do sunoo? i can't keep hiding it for much longer, they leave next week for uni.

sunoo ❤️ : you're gonna have to tell your brother, y/n! heeseung's his best friend! he trusts him! im sure he won't be that mad!! maybe, hopefully, haha

you : fuck, we're gonna have too. ugh!! im fucking scared.

sunoo❤️: you can do it!!!! i love you!!!!

"hey sunoo, get off you're phone and come play a game with us!" riki called out to his older friend, who distracted him from texting you about your problem.

"give me a second!" sunoo called back to him.

"who're you texting, sunoo?" jungwon teased him, his eyebrows raising up and down.

"as if you'd like to know." sunoo rolled his eyes at his younger friend who always seemed to be in everyone's business except for his own.

"sunoo! come on~!" riki whined, wanting so badly for someone to play ping pong with him.

"fine, i'm coming," sunoo huffed, standing up and tossing his phone on the couch. sunoo had thought that he was turned off his phone, but was too distracted by riki to really pay attention.

as jungwon still sat on the couch, he couldn't help but glance over at sunoo's opened messages, his eyes going wide by reading the latest ones with you.

"holy shit." jungwon whispered, throwing sunoo's phone back onto the couch before he came back.

as the final weekend of sunghoon living with you before he went to university came, it was almost tradition that he throws a party in honor of going away. your town's infamous party boy and his friends would be leaving to party somewhere else. what would your town do without them?

almost everyone in sunghoon's grade and your own was filling in your house. it was the biggest party that they've ever thrown in all four years of high school. even the '01 liners that graduated last year had come to see heeseung and send sunghoon off for university.

unlike last year's going away party, you were actually allowed to come to this once thanks to sunghoon's less strict protectiveness of you.

of course, heeseung and you couldn't be seen beside each other, but you were both planning on telling sunghoon the big news tomorrow. you both weren't sure of how he would react. hopefully, he'd be happy though since he and heeseung have already put a down payment on the apartment that they're going to be sharing for the year.

as midnight approached, a loud clinking sound captured everyone's attention and the loud music turned off.

"excuse me everyone!" a loud voice boomed, getting everyone to be quiet. there stood hwang intak on your coffee table in the living room. you haven't heard from intak since the beginning of the summer, you figured that he was just busy or that he found a new friendgroup to hang around with. he was holding a fork up to a beer bottle, "as i'm sure everyone is so sad to see the '02's leave this year, i have some happy news that i'm sure. everyone would love to hear!" intak started, everyone in your house nodded and made sounds of agreement, "i'm sure the one and only park sunghoon will love to hear this one especially,"

you stopped smiling at the mention of your brother's name, glancing at him and then heeseung from across the room. heeseung was looking uncertain as well.

"it has been brought to my attention, that park y/n is fucking her brother's best friend!" intak smiled, a gasp going through the room and your blood ran cold as you made eye contact with your very furious brother from across the room. "isn't that right, heeseung?" everyone in the room turned and looked at heeseung who was standing right beside sunghoon like he normally does. heeseung immediately put his hands up in defense as your brother pushed his chest against his, a betrayed look on his face. you couldn't hear what exactly was being said from all the whispering going around you, but it ended up with sunghoon pushing heeseung onto the chair behind him and then pushing everyone else out of the way to storm up to his room.

"okay! i think that's about it for tonight. everyone has a good school year and get the fuck out!" jay stood up on your coffee table now, pushing intak out of the way.

a pleased-looking intak came up to you right after.

"intak, why would you do that?" you asked him, tears welling up in your eyes from humiliation and fear of what's going to happen to you and heeseung and your brother.

"you know i've liked you since the day i met you park y/n. and what do you do? you turn me down, treat me like just a friend in front of everyone and then go and use me at some party- never to speak to me again?" intak explained to you, you shook your head no, trying to find some words to speak, "no! don't y/n. i thought it was weird when you were suddenly all up on me at the first party of the summer, and i knew you were acting weird all night! i saw you looking at heeseung too! i just never put two and two together until jungwon told me that you've been fucking him behind everyone's back!"

"intak! it's not like that! i'm sorry! what i did was wrong and i'm truly sorry! but you didn't have to go and do that! you just ruined my own relationship with my brother!" you cried out to him, your hands shaking at your sides.

"yeah? well maybe you should've thought about that before you went whoring around with your brother's best friend." intak spat in your face.

"would you shut the fuck up?" a voice came from behind him, making both of you jump. there stood an even more angry sunghoon as he listened to what intak had to say about you. "you are some little fucking pathetic rat. you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about do you? you just say whatever comes to mind and don't care about the coincidences, don't you?" sunghoon pushed intak up against the wall beside you.

"sunghoon!" you tried to reach out to him, only to have your hand pulled away from behind you, jake was holding you back. "no jake! let go of me." you struggled.

"bro, what? i'm trying to do you a favor? your best friend is the rat! he went behind your back and fucked your sister!" intak managed to get out through fear.

sunghoon faked a laugh, "if you talk about my sister fucking someone one more time, i'm going to rip your balls off personally." sunghoon threatened the younger boy.

"there it is." jay pointed out from beside you.

"yep." jake quickly agreed, glancing at him briefly before returning back to sunghoon and itak.

"bro i'm sorry." intak started but was cut off.

"don't call me bro, okay bro?" sunghoon mocked intak, pulling the collar of his shirt up as he stared right into his eyes, "if you talk about my sister, or any of my friends again, i will make sure to come back to town and hurt you, really bad. got it?"

"yes, i got it. i'm sorry." intak shook his head quickly, wanting to get away from your brother as soon as he could. sunghoon backed away from the wall, letting intak run out of your house, slamming the door after him. jake let you go once it seemed like sunghoon wasn't in fighting mode anymore.

"sunghoon." you cried out softly.

"don't y/n." he replied, sitting down on the living chair with his head in his hands.

"sunghoonie, i'm sorry." heeseung stated, still standing on the other side of the living room from you all.

you heard sunghoon sigh as he listened to his best friend, "i mean like, for how long has it been happening?" sunghoon looked up at you two, his head turning from the left to the right.

"not long." heeseung said quickly.

"we were planning on telling you, we swear!" you added on, "we were waiting for a good time!"

"did you guys know?" sunghoon glanced at jake and jay behind you.

"nope!" jake said quickly.

"no idea, man!" jay agreed.

"sunghoonie," heeseung took a step closer to his best friend, "they had no idea, it was just me and y/n." sunghoon nodded, sitting back in the chair, trying to take it all in. "i love her, hoon. i mean it." sunghoon looked up at his best friend in shock. jay and jake gasped from behind you. jake nudged you, a look of shock on his face, making you shrug in response.

"do you love him?" sunghoon asked you suddenly.

"yes, a lot." you smiled at heeseung softly, love only fills your mind when you think of him.

sunghoon scoffs, "i mean, how blind am i? my own best friend and my sister fall in love and i don't even notice?"

"we're sorry sunghoon, we didn't want to make you upset. but i've loved her for a long time now, i've just always tried to push the feeling away because i care so much about you, you're my best friend sunghoon, i don't want to lose you. i can't stand to lose you and her." heeseung confessed, holding onto sunghoon's shoulder now.

sunghoon sighed before glancing up at you, "and you're happy?"

"so happy, hoon." you nodded, your hands coming together to show how happy you are.

"Okay." sunghoon nodded.

"okay?" you all said in unison out of confusion.

"yes okay, it's something i can get used to if you're both happy. and it's not something i can stop if you both love each other, right?" sunghoon said, a small smile on his face when he spoke now.

"oh my god! thank you sunghoon! thank you!" you cried out, jumping up and down before running to heeseung who hugged you so tight. squeals left your mouth as the dreading feeling in your stomach finally surpassed after weeks of it being there. heeseung pulled you into a kiss, showing how happy he was as well.

"okay!" sunghoon yelled, "it's gonna take some time to get used to that." sunghoon said, looking away from you guys, "but i'm sure i'll be okay."

"i love you sunghoon, so much! really!" you pulled away from heeseung and pulled your brother up from his chair, pulling him into his own hug.

"i love you too, y./n, you're always gonna be my little sister, right?" he teased, pushing your hair around.

"of course!" you smiled and pulled away from him.

"you're always gonna be my best friend, right?" heeseung spoke from behind you, a soft smile of hopefulness on his face.

"c'mon man, of course, i will be!" sunghoon smiled, opening his arms for heeseung to hug him as well.

"awww!" jay and jake gushed from behind you all, rushing and hugging their friends into one big group hug.

when they all pulled apart, it felt like everything was right between everyone. every friendship and relationship in the room seemed healed over with love.

"bro, i can't believe you're dating park sunghoon's little sister." jake said to heeseung, shock still settling in.

"shut it, jake!" you all said in unison again, laughing before hugging everyone again.

"you guys are so mean!" jake cried out, still hugging you guys tightly as if it would be the last time.

heeseung winked at you from over sunghoon's shoulder, making you smile up at him, unafraid of what everyone would think now knowing that you and heeseung are in love.

"what do you think your parents are gonna say?" heeseung asked you all.

"god heeseung, you know that they love you." sunghoon rolled his eyes at his best friend, making you and heeseung smile at each other, knowing that finally you could be together after all.

it's truly all that you ever wanted, and now you have it.

you couldn't be happier with your older brother's best friend.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

@ taeghi, 2022. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :)

#heeseung #heeseung smut #enhypen #enhypen smut #lee heeseung #enha #fluff #angst #hyung line #series #pwp #the classics #romance #kpop smut #au #trope #fanfic #enhypen fanfic

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stanurines1mp · 2 years

Text

Favorite Crime

Pairing: Jean Kirstein x Fem!Reader (she/her)

type: angst

an: finally. i kinda took a lot of time with this, i'm sorry. but here ya go. part 2 to why not me. a lot of people really liked the first one and I got some people asking for a part 2 on tumblr so here ya go. did not mean to make jean such an asshole. i know he'd never do this irl ily jean. anyway, it's inspired by Favorite Crime by Olivia Rodrigo. any requests, let me know :) also, sorry if it's not as painful as part 1

warnings: angst and pain hehehhee, alcohol but they're 21++, jean being an absolute dick, y/n being a little dumb but it's okay, uh, pretty sure that's it? let me know if i missed anything :) also, let me know what you think. i love reading how yall feel pain from my oneshots eheheh

Part one

~~~

Jean couldn't stop the way his heart was aching after a week of your absence from his life. You hadn't contacted him at all for the week since the incident. The much-hated incident.

I love you, Jean.

I love you too, Mikasa.

It was a night of regret. For both you and him.

Jean didn't dare to contact you, either. Because how could he? After the way he hurt you?

The friend group had been a little tight since the incident, too. It took a lot of you to persuade Eren not to be mad at Jean.

If looks could kill, Jean would be dead ten times over from the way Eren kept glaring at him had you not come to the rescue by reasoning with Eren.

But the group was never the same. Because no matter what, someone was always missing. Either you or Jean.

If Jean was there, you wouldn't be. If you were there, Jean wouldn't be.

It had only been a week so it didn't give much impact. You were still close friends with everyone (excluding Jean), even with Mikasa. Though you had to admit; seeing her the first time after the incident was absolutely gut-wrenching.

She did come to your apartment after hearing of the situation. To apologize. She'd come to fucking apologize.

But you knew better. She had no reason to apologize. She didn't do anything wrong. Mikasa was just unfortunate enough to be caught in your tragic yet absolutely foolish drama with Jean.

You were glad that nothing had changed much between the group other than a constant absence of someone. But you were missing Jean. You were missing him so much.

You missed how he'd be the one to wake you up, his deep, morning voice whispering the words of good morning. The sound would replay in your head again and again as the day goes on.

You missed his stupid and really not that funny jokes, the cocky grin he'd display every time he cracked those jokes.

You missed how you'd playfully hit him in the chest, eyes rolled back in an attempt to be annoyed. But really, your cheeks would tint red from the blush you're trying so hard to hide because you were so close with him.

Most of all, you missed him.

Your best friend.

Your partner-in-crime.

And Jean felt the absolute same.

Jean missed how the first thing in the morning, just after waking up, he'd find his phone to search your name. He missed how you'd welcome his call with a sleepy greeting.

Jean missed having you tell him about your day, the way you'd just get so worked up in your words to notice if anyone else joined in.

Jean missed having you around.

Since the incident, he couldn't stop thinking about you. Did he just really not like you? Because the way he was missing you said otherwise.

Every night of the week, his mind would find itself thinking of you. What you were doing that night, or what you ate for dinner, or what movie did you watch. All his thoughts were of you.

He couldn't take it anymore. After the whole week, he just couldn't take it anymore. He needed to talk to you. Or at least see you. But he needed you back. One way or another.

Jean waited, his right leg bouncing up and down with the nerves that flooded him. His heart rate for sure was increasing by the second. Everything felt amplified.

It was like he could sense everything that went on at that moment. He could hear the ticking of the clock so loud as though it was beside his ear. And he hated how the sound seemed like it was mocking him.

He could hear all the footsteps in the hallway that was swarmed by students. Soon, more students were walking out of the door across the corridor where he stood.

After the crowd had dispersed, the figure that he awaited finally made a debut. Jean knew that you always liked to stay late for the last class of your day so you could spend time with your lecturers and ask questions about your lessons.

You were distracted when you walked out the door, eyes focusing on stuffing your notebook into your tote bag. You didn't realize that Jean was waiting for you.

"Y/N," his voice caused you to stand frozen.

Your eyes didn't dare follow the origin of the sound with fear that your wounded heart would start breaking once again. You knew you couldn't avoid him forever but you damn well wanted to try.

There was a long silence taking place between you two. You didn't dare to look at him while he didn't dare to approach you. But it was getting stupid, just standing there like that.

So you made the first move.

Slowly, you let out a sigh, calmly placing your notebook inside your tote bag. Your eyes finally went up to him, unconsciously studying his figure. Shit, he looked just as good as always.

Tall and lean, hair perfect the way it always was. His palm was gripping the strap of his bag while his other hand was stuffed in his pocket. His eyes finally met yours and you swore you'd never seen anything as beautiful.

"Hey," he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on, taking a step forward.

He stopped, searching your eyes for disapproval but your eyes were just drunk on the mere sight of him. Even after everything, you still loved him.

"Hey," you mumbled, trying to muster up a smile but it was a miserable failure.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," you shrugged, your lips pursed tightly that you thought blood would begin to seep out. "Not here," you added, looking away hastily.

He gave you a low nod, agreeing to whatever you wanted because he couldn't bear to hurt you. Not again, not anymore. You led him to the nearest empty classroom, and he closed the door after he got in, following behind you.

"I miss you," was the first thing Jean said.

Your head quickly turned to face him. You could feel your throat closing in.

Was this all a dream?

An imagination?

All in your head because you missed Jean so much that you conjured a fake scenario where he would love you back?

"I know you won't believe me but I swear, Y/N," he continued, voice in a string of pleas. "I think I love you."

You blinked once, trying to get out of this dreamy nightmare. But you were still there.

You blinked again, harder this time. You didn't care how stupid you looked because it was all just a dream, right? A nightmare or a dream, but it wasn't real.

Only it was real.

"I know it's hard to believe me after everything but Y/N, I can't stop thinking about you," he begged, approaching you until he was standing just in front of you. "If I could take back that night, I fucking would. I miss you, and I can't sleep at night because all I think of is you."

You couldn't believe the words you're hearing.

Did Jean Kirstein really love you the way you love him?

"I was stupid. I didn't know that I love you but I do. I swear."

Any negative feelings you felt before disintegrated into a pile of ashes that had been blown away by the wind. The wind being Jean's words. Replacing those feelings were the good ones. Like excitement.

Excitement and content.

Because finally, after years of loving your best friend in secret, he confessed that he felt the same. Even if he had broken your heart just a week before that, you didn't care.

Because Jean Kirstein loves you.

"Can you say somethi-"

His words were cut off by the feeling of your soft lips pressed against his. Your arms were thrown back, locked behind his neck. He had to lean down because of the height difference but he didn't care.

He had you back in his life.

The kiss was sweet and passionate, much better than the drunken one you two shared just last week.

At least this time you were both completely sober.

At least this time he knew it was you.

At least this time you'd be his and he'd be yours.

You winced when Ymir's angry voice echoed the wall of your apartment. You sighed, tired of listening to her angry outbursts regarding your new relationship with Jean.

It didn't help when she called reinforcements that wore the name Eren Jaeger to back her up. Both of them were standing with absolute disbelief in your living room.

"WHAT THE FUCK, Y/N?!" Ymir shouted.

"What?" You frowned, rubbing your temples because you were getting annoyed by the repetitions they're spewing out.

"Don't you remember how bad he hurt you last time?!" Eren let out.

"Of course I remember. But it's different now," you justified, fully believing your words.

"Why? Because he let out some tears and told you he loves you?" Ymir mocked, her sass lacing her words.

"Yes?" You scoffed out.

"My God, Y/N," Eren groaned.

"Look, it's different now, alright? Believe it or not, that's up to you. But I'm not gonna break up with him," you defended.

"How long have you two been together, exactly?"

"A week-"

"A WEEK?!" Their merged voices collided.

"And you only told us now?!"

You were tired of hearing their rambling. You've been with Jean for a week and not once did he ever make you feel like it wasn't real. In fact, he just made things feel normal.

The way it used to be.

You adored that because you didn't like being away from him. A week without him was long enough for you. And the friend group had gotten back to its original flow. Things really were going back to the way it was before the incident.

But that was your mistake.

It seemed you have forgotten how things truly were before.

It made sense as to how you could forget about it. Because you were too absorbed in Jean's presence. Too absorbed in finally having him as yours and you as his.

After years of pining after him, you were finally his girlfriend. Nothing could make you happier.

You became blind.

Blind to his flaws, blind to his harmful actions.

You were too in love with him that you didn't notice how he kept getting distracted whenever you went out. You were too in love with him to notice the way his eyes glimmered brighter at the sight of someone else. Someone who wasn't you.

Or maybe you did notice it.

But you didn't want things to end.

So you let yourself stay by his side even when you could see through his eyes that all he wanted wasn't you. He wanted her, even still.

He wanted Mikasa.

But somehow, what's actually hurting you wasn't the fact that he actually wanted her. It was the fact that he lied.

He said he loves you but he never did. He never showed it to you.

Not in the way he was supposed to.

But again, how could you ever end things with him? You've waited years for it to happen. And now that you finally had it, you're throwing it away?

You couldn't.

Because you were scared to lose him.

For a whole year, you let yourself get treated like that. Ymir and Eren, your two closest friends certainly noticed the way Jean always ignored you. But you'd try your best to defend Jean.

He was just tired. It's been a rough day. Classes have been shit for him. Don't worry about it. He'd never hurt me. He didn't mean to. He's not like that.

A bunch of shit excuses that you used to make your friends believe Jean was treating you well. But they were more than that. They weren't just words to make your friends believe, they were words to make yourself believe.

But after a year had passed, you've been feeling like it truly was wrong. It hurt so much like murder, maybe even worse.

The pain that you felt in your heart wasn't equal to that of a stab. Instead, it was more like multiple stabbings.

The first time the knife impaled your heart was the first moment you met Jean. Then he took out the knife the moment you fell in love with him.

Then he stabbed you again, the same murder weapon in hand when you both met Mikasa. Then he took out the knife when he kissed you back at the party, drunk and jumbled-up thoughts.

But the knife returned back into your heart when his words exchanged yours.

I love you, Jean.

I love you too, Mikasa.

So again and again, Jean found a way to stab your heart. Whether or not he meant to was out of your mind. You knew him, though.

You knew that he loved Mikasa. You knew that he didn't mean to hurt you the first time.

You knew he didn't mean to say her name instead of yours. You knew he didn't love you. So you knew he didn't mean to hurt you again this time.

But he did say he missed you, right?

After a lot of thinking, you realized that maybe he truly did miss you. Just not in the way you missed him.

After a lot of thinking, you realized that maybe he truly did love you. Just not in the way you loved him.

Your best friend.

Your partner-in-crime.

You just didn't know the crime he committed was against you.

And you were his willing accomplice.

You knew it wasn't right to stay with him especially after what just happened. You and your friends went out to a frat party because, for some reason, your friends really liked to party.

You and Jean went together and the whole night, you couldn't help but notice how distant he was. At first, you didn't notice why exactly until you saw her in the middle of the dance floor, body moving gracefully in sync with Sasha.

You knew it was time. You had to let him go. For your sake.

Watching the whole night playing in front of you made your brain snap. Maybe it was the mild alcoholic substance you consumed, but you were angry and upset. So you pulled him upstairs, snapping him out of his trance that involved Mikasa instead of you.

"Woah, Y/N, what's wrong?" Jean frowned, stumbling a little to follow your pace.

"I'm done," you let out, calming yourself.

"What? You wanna leave?" He quirked a brow, confused and worried.

"No- Yes. But I meant, I'm done. I'm done with this, with us," you felt your tears pooling on your waterline.

"What are you-"

"You don't love me," you shook your head slowly.

"I do love you," his voice trailed at the end.

His words sounded more like him convincing himself more than you. And you knew that was true.

"Stop! I'm tired with the lies!" You yelled.

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are! You know what's worse, Jean?!" Your tone was rising in anger and frustration. "You don't even know you're lying. You think you love me but you don't. Not the way you think you do," you hiccuped, tears streaming down endlessly. "You just missed your best friend. And I missed you, too."

"Y/N, don't say that," he frowned, guilt overtaking him because now he realized that those words were true.

"It hurts," you sobbed. "It hurts so much that I love you but you don't. You try to, which makes it even worse," you let out a dark chuckle. "I loved you so bad that I let you treat me like that."

You were his willing accomplice.

"And I defended you, Jean," you added, remembering the times you argued Ymir and Eren. "And all the things I did, even as you hurt me, I did them, just so I could call you mine. But you wanna know what the worst thing is?" You let out, earning a silent guilty look from him. "I'd do it all again."

"I'm sorry," Jean muttered, head hung low, eyes not daring to meet yours.

"And it hurts me so much that we have to end. Because- God, could you just imagine all the damage we'd do?" You laughed, but your laughter never reached your eyes.

The sound of your merged tears and laughter forced Jean to look at you. It was not the same laughter you always produced.

"It's bittersweet to think about it," you softened, a small smile still toying your lips. "I was ready to go down, Jean, because I'd be going down with you," you hummed, your shoulders lifting a little. "I hate you," you said with a smile still on your face.

"Y/N-"

"The way you treated me, did it feel like a crime? Shouldn't it have felt like a crime?"

"Y/N, I'm sorry," Jean said again, not knowing what else he could do.

Because everything you're saying is true. And he hated it. Because he's losing you all over again. But no matter how much hurt he was feeling at that moment, he knew the truth.

The hurt you felt was much more than he could ever imagine.

But he loved you. Even as a best friend, he really did. Hurting you really did feel like a crime.

Because how could breaking your heart, the core of your life, not be that of a crime?

He hadn't even realized that you had left him.

Jean stood alone in the surprisingly empty hallway, heartbroken because he lost his best friend. But his heart broke even more knowing the fact that he had hurt you. Again.

Just how many times could he do that to you?

You deserved better than having him, even as a friend.

He did think he loved you but he was mistaken. He mistook the platonic love he had for you as romantic.

Whereas you loved Jean in every way. In every way that he could never reciprocate.

You cried while finding a way out of the frat house. You didn't care about anything, anyone...

You just wanted to get out.

"I hope I was your favorite crime."

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tetsurouskuro · 4 years

Text

Reunion

pairing: bokuto koutarou x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, smut, slight angst, breeding kink, unprotected sex, public sex, bokuto does the kabedon

word count: 5,006

a/n: this is my submission for the Haikyuu Headquarters second NSFW server collab! this time it’s the prompt “Guess I’ll just have to cum inside you.” you can find the masterlist HERE by the amazing @vixen-scribbles who is my queen so go give her a follow! 💖

thank you @deathcab4daddy & @gallickingun for beta reading, ily guys so much (go give them a follow if you aren’t already)! 💖

now enjoy; feedback is always appreciated! <3

tag list: @miamiya (message me if you want to be included)

Synopsis: Three years has passed since you got your heart broken by your one true love Bokuto Koutarou. A high school reunion is about to take place at Fukurodani Academy. What will happen when you finally meet your ex boyfriend?

MASTERLIST!

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

Your eyes scanned the invitation card from your high school. Reading every word that’s written. A high school reunion. The thought alone makes you think of him. Wondering how he’s doing. He may be your ex and the boy who broke your heart, but he was your first and still to this day, your only love, and you knew why he did it. He had his reasons.

He had talked you through it before you both graduated high school. He had told you that he wanted to focus on volleyball and that he was going to move away from Tokyo, and you were not the type to try and stop him. You wanted him to succeed. You also had to think about your future and what you wanted to achieve. Both of you went your separate ways, heartbroken that you could not be together anymore.

Bokuto succeeded in achieving his dream. He was playing in big arenas with huge crowds, on TV and he was a well-known volleyball player. The number 4 ace and captain from Fukurodani made it big, just like he promised you all those years ago.

You sighed and placed the card onto your fridge. There was still one week left until the reunion, and it wasn’t like Bokuto would show up. He was busy with volleyball, especially since a new season just started.

You sigh and turn around to grab the warm coffee cup and head to your couch. Once seated you turn on Netflix and start a random show. Grabbing your phone, you go to the search bar on Facebook and search for your ex-boyfriend. Once the two of you had broken up you had unfriended him immediately. You knew it was going to be hard to get over him, so to save you from having to see his posts and face on Facebook, you removed him.

He’s the first one that pops up. You share mutual friends, so it isn’t that weird. You go to pictures and see him with all sorts of different people, smiling and laughing. Sometimes even looking, upset?

Sighing you close the application, lock your phone, and toss it next to you on the couch. Closing your eyes, you throw your head back against the headrest, hoping and praying that Bokuto doesn’t show up to the reunion.

≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪

Wearing a black evening gown with a front slit, thin shoulder straps, and a pair of black heels you step into the big gymnasium where the rest of all the third years are gathered. A waitress walks up to you with a tray in hand, offering you a welcome drink, probably champagne. You take a glass and nod your thanks. Taking a sip, you sigh and take in your surroundings. People are standing in groups, chatting, and laughing. You see Yamato, Konoha, Haruki, Yukie, and Kaori in the middle. Konoha looks your way and you lock eyes. He smiles widely and waves you over. The rest of the gang turns around and sees you too, all of them start to yell at you to rush over.

You smile at them and head towards the squad.

“(y/n)! you’re here!” Yukie excitedly exclaims.

“Yes. Here I am,” you laugh. “How’s everyone? Haven’t seen you all in ages.”

You stand there talking with everyone. You chug the rest of your glass and turn around to grab another just as a round of applause is heard. You follow everyone’s gaze and see someone enter the gymnasium.

“Hey, hey, heeeeeey!” The voice echoes. A familiar voice.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” You chant and shove your champagne glass to Yukie. “I need to use the loo.”

“Wait- (y/n)!” She yells after you, but you’re already headed for the door that leads you towards the nearest toilet.

Your heart is beating hard, you can feel your pulse rising. Adrenaline has kicked in and you feel nervous. You’re breathing heavily as you reach the door, turning around slightly to just peek at the man that has made you react this way.

He hasn’t spotted you yet. He’s surrounded by girls and boys, welcoming their former ace to the reunion. You stand there, the door slightly opened, your body halfway through the doorframe and take him in.

He’s wearing ripped black jeans, a matching black tee, black vans, and a light blue jean jacket. His hair is spiked the same way as usual and his golden eyes are filled with happiness. He laughs loudly and scans the room like he’s looking for someone and then his orbs land on you. The way he gazes at you makes your whole-body shiver and you feel like you can’t breathe. You stand still, watching him watch you for a second more until you turn your body back and go through the door and towards the ladies’ room.

Once inside you stand by the door, back against it, trying to control your breathing.

Okay (y/n), calm down! Act normal and don’t freak out!

After 5 minutes you turn around and push the door and walk out, walking back to the gymnasium. You pass a hallway when suddenly-

“(y/n)?”

“Jesus fucking christ!” You jump. “Don’t scare me like that.” You exclaim and turn around and are met with a pair of golden eyes.

“Ah sorry,” Bokuto speaks, his hand rubbing the back of his head. “I just wanted to see how you were feeling. You rushed out so fast.”

“I’m fine,” you sigh. “I just needed to use the toilet.”

“Oh. Okay.” There’s a long pause. Both of you are silent.

“Bokuto-kun!” A female voice yells out, interrupting the awkward silence and you turn around to see where the female is.

“I should head back. Yukie is probably waiting for me,” you lie. “It was nice seeing you Bokuto,” you smile at him and turn around to leave, but he grabs you by the forearm and pulls you towards him.

“Let’s take a walk around the school. I don’t wanna head back just yet.”

“Bokuto I-“

“Please (y/n)? I haven’t seen you in ages and I just wanna talk.”

“Fine,” you sigh.

“Great,” he smiles. “Let’s go then!” He grabbed your hand instead and intertwined his fingers with yours as he dragged you down the hallway and escaped the voice of the girl that was calling his name.

He suddenly stops outside of your old classroom and you both stand there, panting and trying to control each other’s breathing.

“Felt like a teenager doing that,” he laughs. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just need a moment.” Still panting, you stay silent, and watch his tall frame. You stand up straight and clear your throat. Bokuto turns his body sideways and looks at you.

“Do you think it’s open?”

“I don’t know, but what do you wanna talk about Bokuto?” You speak up, wanting to get away from this situation. “We broke up. We’re exes, we’re not supposed to be like this.”

The silence returns, Bokuto’s eyes never leaving yours. You watch him, still out of breath you feel an aching pain in your chest. You fist both of your hands beside your body, tears starting to form in your eyes.

“I- shit,” you curse and let out a small laugh. “I need to leave.” You’re just about to turn around when Bokuto’s right arm slams itself on the wall to your left, stopping you in your tracks. You press your back to the wall and raise your head so you can meet his gaze. His tall frame towering over you.

“Don’t,” he sighs. “Don’t leave.” You don’t listen to his plea and try to leave again but this time he slams his left arm on the wall, caging you in.

“Bokuto. Let me go!”

“No!”

“I- What?”

“I came to this reunion mainly so I could see you,” he pauses before continuing. “I made up my mind that if you came, I would try to get you back, ‘cause I still fucking love you.” His golden eyes stare right into yours. You can see the determination in them.

“The way we broke things off, I should never have ended it that way. We shouldn’t have ended it that way. If I could go back and change it, I would’ve made you come with me. I was stupid to let you go.”

“Bokuto, I-“

“And stop calling me Bokuto!” he fumes. “You never called me that while we were dating and-“

“We’re not dating now!” You respond, interrupting him.

“I know!” He slams his right fist on the wall, making you jump. You have never seen Bokuto this upset before, not even when you broke up.

“I’m sorry. Shit (y/n) I’m so sorry I don’t know what came over me. I-“

“It’s okay, Bo! It’s… fine,” you sigh out that last word. You let your head hang low, watching the ground, seeing how close his body is to you. You gulp, trying to contain your thoughts. You haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone for as long as you can remember, and seeing Bokuto now, here, this close makes you clench your thighs together. But you would not let your sexual desires over him take over. If he wanted you back, he had to tell you, and apologize.

“When I- We broke up I did it because I wanted to focus on volleyball.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

“Wait, let me finish.” You stay silent and let him continue.

“I wanted you to come with me, I wanted you with me so badly and I thought that I couldn’t let you come with me because I didn’t want you to stop chasing your dreams. Volleyball was my ambition, not yours.” He pauses for a second, collecting his thoughts and breathing before continuing.

“But I was wrong and dumb. I didn’t ask what you wanted, I just assumed and chose for you. I should’ve talked it out with you, asked you if you wanted to come with me and I didn’t. I fucked up,” he takes a deep breath before yet again continuing talking, expressing his emotions.

“Over these past few years, I haven’t been able to let you go. You were always on my mind. You had taken over my head so bad that I started seeing things. Seeing you on the streets, in the audience while I was playing. I never stopped thinking about you. I even stalked your Facebook multiple times and-”

“You stalked my Facebook?” You look up, watching him. Your heart beating fast against your ribcage.

“Yeah, not my proudest moment but I did. I needed to see your face, needed to see what you were doing, and if you were seeing someone. If you were as miserable as I was,” he sighs, his eyes watching yours. “Please (y/n) I am desperate. I want you back. Give me a second chance. I need you back in my life. If you just give me a small chance, I will prove it to you that I will be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make.”

Bokuto sighs out loudly, like he was in pain, and places a kiss on top of your head before sinking so his eyes are in front of yours. His face just mere inches from yours.

“Just give me one chance. Just one so I can have you back. I want you (y/n). I want to be able to call you mine again. I just need one-“

You decide to instead of using words you crash your lips against his. Cutting him off mid-sentence, wrapping your arms around his neck. It only takes Bokuto a few seconds to respond by kissing you back, his body pressing itself close to yours, his forearms bracing him on the wall.

You break off the kiss, bite your lip, and look into his golden shimmering eyes. “I never stopped loving you either.”

“Really? I expected you to have a boyfriend or fiancé by now.”

“No,” you groan. “I tried dating, but nobody compares to you.” He smiles widely at your words. Like a kid on Christmas morning.

“I’ll try to give you everything I can Bo, I’ll try-“

“Everything means nothing if I can’t have you (y/n)!” Blushing you look down, but Bokuto grabs your face in his hands and presses a kiss on your lips again. And again. You fist a handful of his shirt in your palms and press your body close to his, feeling his semi poking you and showing how much he wants you.

“You’re mine, (y/n). I love you so much,” he moans against your lips and then pushes his tongue inside of your mouth. His hands moving to grab your ass, pushing your pelvis against his. “I’m gonna prove it to you. I need you now. No time to waste.”

He pushes himself off you and turns around, trying to open your old classroom door and to his luck it does. His wide smile is back as he ushers you in.

“Wait- Bo! We can’t, not here.”

“Aww c’mon baby, it’ll be fun and besides,” he pauses, still looking at you as he undoes his belt. “I always wanted to fuck you in this classroom back in the day.”

His sentence makes you hurry inside, and you look around the now unfamiliar classroom. You hear Bokuto close and lock the door, the sound of his zipper being pulled down makes you turn around and face him. His pants are undone but still around his hips.

“Come here baby,” obeying, you take a few steps forward and stop once you’re in front of him. Both of his hands grab you by the waist and pull you forward, his lips instantly crashing to yours. His lips don’t stay on yours too long as they start to travel down the side of your neck towards your exposed collarbone. While his lips are giving your upper body some attention, his hands push your dress up, exposing your black lace thong to his fingertips.

Bokuto recognizes the material and stops his movements just so he can peek at your underwear. He grunts.

“Do you… like them?”

“I love them, baby. Jesus Christ.” Bokuto’s lips return to yours, his index and middle finger tracing the outline of your slit, making you squirm. He then removes them and ushers you to get up on one of the desks, and you do, but not before you remove your thong as sexy as you can, and throw it on the ground nearby.

“Babe, you’re gonna be the death of me!” he exclaims in a groan and hurries back to you. His body standing between your thighs. A slight breeze passes making you shudder, your nipples peek through your dress. Bokuto notices this and instantly with both of his hands, he pushes your dress down your arms and chest, making your breast spring free.

“Haven’t touched these girls in years,” he speaks while palming them both. “So beautiful.”

“Bo- I-“

“Shh love. It’s all about you now,” he removes his right hand just so he can tease your opening. Lubricating your core with your wetness before inserting a finger inside you, making you moan and throw your head back.

“Baby. Look at me,” he groans. You pull your head back and watch him. He removes his left hand and places it beside you, bracing all his weight on it while his other hand is occupied with your cunt. His finger going in and out of you, your walls clamping around him tightly. He snickers at how wet you feel around him and adds another finger, his middle and ring finger are fucking you slowly, too slow for your liking.

“Bokuto, please. I want more,” you moan.

“Easy now baby, I wanna savor this moment. Feeling your wet cunt around my fingers after such a long time,” he grunts. “God baby, you’re so wet.”

“I know, it’s all for you Bokuto.”

He licks his lips seductively and leans in closer to you, his breath hits your neck and makes your whole body shudder. His tongue comes out and licks you up from your collarbone to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe and making you let out a sigh in pleasure.

“Do you like that, hmm?” He snickers. “Do you like my fingers inside you (y/n)?”

“Y-Yes Bo, I-I love them,” you moan. He lets out a slight “fuck” as he rests his forehead on your shoulder and thrusts his digits harder inside your wet and aching core. Wanting you to cum so badly. He arches his fingers inside you, making them hit your g-spot.

“Bo, please. I’m so close,” you groan. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You keep on whining to him, the once familiar feeling returning to the pit of your stomach. The pressure in your lower abdomen is getting higher and higher. Your legs start to shake and in just a couple of seconds, you’re releasing yourself around his fingers, your right-hand wraps itself around his wrist, nails digging into his soft skin as you moan out loudly from orgasming.

“Kou!” you scream, your walls clamping themselves around him, his fingers still going in and out of you, your legs shaking and your pelvis grinding itself on his hand. Eyes closed and mouth wide open and panting, trying to get your breathing under control.

After a minute, you open your eyes and are met by a smug smile as he removes his fingers and raises his hand to his lips, licking your juices off his fingers while still maintaining eye contact with you.

“I missed the taste of you baby,” he groans. His long fingers going inside that beautiful mouth of his. A big smile on his lips, his excitement palpable.

Once he has licked his fingers clean, he moves his hands to his pants and starts to pull them down his long legs along with his briefs, his cock springing free and colliding with his lower abdomen. Precum leaking from the tip.

Your eyes are glued on his hard member. It’s as beautiful as you remember, two veins going around his shaft, the pink head craving attention.

Your eyes never leave his crotch as his hand goes down and wraps itself around his hard cock, moving up and down slowly.

“You’re so eager, I love it baby, so sexy when you look at me like that,” his voice speaks, making you look up and meet his golden eyes. He takes a small step forward and with his hand that’s around his cock he traces your lips, mixing his precum with your wetness.

“Wait Kou- Condom!” You moan. The fact that you managed to even utter those words surprised you, but you didn’t know who he’s been with.

“I didn’t bring one,” he answers. “Guess I’ll just have to cum inside you instead,” he groans and rams himself inside you. Your walls clenching around him tightly. Your heat making his cock twitch from excitement.

“Fuck Kou, you- you feel amazing.”

“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby. I can feel you pulsating around me.” He’s still for a moment, letting you get used to him. Had he gotten bigger since you last were with him? Or had it just been such a long time since you’ve had sex? It didn’t matter to you, you loved the feeling of him stretching your walls, making your tight cunt ache for him to move.

His hips backtrack only to force themself back to you, colliding and hitting your g-spot, making you throw your head back and grip the edge of the table hard. Your eyes are closed as you take in all the pleasure that he’s giving you. He repeats the same action, he grunts and you moan at the friction.

“Baby look at me,” he moans, his hand going to your cheek, holding it with his large palm. “I want you to look at me.”

You answer him by moaning, opening your (y/e/c) eyes looking at him, pleasure displayed on his handsome face as he starts to increase both his speed and the power of his thrusts. His hips colliding against yours with a strong force. The pleasure is displayed on your face, a lewd look as you’re loving the way he continues to ram himself inside of you.

“I’m gonna cum inside of that pretty cunt, baby. I’m gonna fill you up with my cum,” he moans loudly, not caring if anyone hears him. He loved the excitement of knowing you could get busted having sex in your old classroom but he didn’t care. He had craved you for 3 long years and he wasn’t going to let this moment pass up.

“I want a future with you,” he continues. “I want to marry you. I want to get you pregnant.”

This makes your cunt clench for him. Your walls clamping themselves tightly around him. Marrying him? Pregnant?

"Oh, you'd like that baby? You want me to breed you, baby?" His thrust hits hard, his cock going deep into your core. His eyes travel down, watching his cock going and out of you. The wetness surrounding it like lube, making it easy for him to thrust in and out of you. His gaze is locked on where both of you connect, watching the way your cunt swallows him whole.

"Fuck baby. Beg for me to fill you, I know you love the feel of my cum inside you."

"Oh god Kou, please fill me with your cum. Breed me," you almost sing. Your voice is filled with all kinds of emotions, pleasure consuming you.

"You want me to breed you, baby? Fill you up with all my sperm," he moans, his hands holding your hips in place as his thrusts got deeper and deeper inside you. The tip of his cock grazing your g-spot viciously, the pressure in your abdomen getting stronger after each thrust. The thought of you swollen with his child made him even harder and closer to reaching his climax.

"Cum for me baby, I want you to cum for me. Cum with me. I'm so close," his thrusts get sloppier and you know he is near his release.

"Cum with me Koutarou. Let's do it together."

"Fuck (y/n)," his whole body stills as he ejaculates inside you. The warmth of his semen spurting in you, coating your walls and you follow him soon afterward. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you coat his cock with your release.

Your body is shaking from the intense orgasm you just had, your teeth biting into your lower lip and you feel him move, his still hard cock going in and out of you. Bokuto is making sure that his cum doesn’t come out, to make sure you’re bred and hoping you get pregnant from this.

"Mhm Kou," you moan. Your eyes glance up to his face. A big smile was plastered on his lips.

"That was so hot baby. I want more."

"I don't think I can stand," you giggle. His eyes are watching you, the smile on your face making his heart squeeze harder and being filled with all his love for you.

"What now?" Your tender voice asks.

"I'm waiting."

"... On what?"

"For you to calm down before I go for round two,” he smirks.

“W-Wait. Hold on. Round two?”

“You didn’t think I was already finished with you, baby? I’m just getting started.” With that being said, he flips you over. The action making his cock get pulled out from your heat.

You’re bent over and your front is pressed against the now warm desk. His hands start to caress your body, from the base of your neck to your naked ass. He gives your ass some attention before slapping each cheek, making you jump from the sudden action.

"I could just cum from the sight of you," he grunts. "I'm gonna cum inside you again, to make sure you're bred."

"Kou-tarou~," you moan as he enters you without warning, his cock rock hard and coated in both your juices and his semen. His hands holding your hips still as he thrusts deep inside you. Ramming his cock hard into your wet and tight core. His fingertips are digging hard into your flawless skin, leaving a mark but you don’t care. The only thing that’s going through your mind right now is the way his cock is pounding into your wet and swollen cunt.

"I won't stop until you're dripping with my cum, to be sure you're pregnant with my child," he almost screams. "Jesus fuck baby the way you clench around me is wonderful."

Your cunt clenches harder around his cock, the thought of being pregnant with his child makes you reach some kind of bliss that you never thought you could. The soft image pops up in your mind for a second, but it’s soon gone as one of his hands grabs your shoulder, his other following suit.

You can feel his semen leaking out as he continues to ram into you, and you know he notices it cause he lets out a snicker.

"My cum is seeping out of your pussy, but I'll fill you up again baby. I'll fill you up again and again."

"Kou- I'm gonna cum again," you moan. Your left hand holding the edge of the desk while your right one is in front of you, trying to grab something and it does as Bokuto's right hand comes forward and intertwines with yours, clamping around it. His body pressed against yours. Feeling his breath on your neck.

"Say it, baby, say what I want to hear."

"P-Put a baby inside me Koutarou please."

"Fuck yes," he moans vocally, biting down on your neck as he fills your cunt with his cum, the feel of his cum inside you again makes you clench around him and you reach your climax.

"Yeah, my cum makes you orgasm so fucking hard right baby?"

"Mhm," you answer, too worn out to even form your own words.

You press the side of your face on the desk and close your eyes. You're breathing heavily, so is Bokuto. His warm breath hitting your neck, making goosebumps form on all of your body.

"(y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm getting soft."

"Oh my god!" You giggle.

"Stop. You're making me fall out, stop it!" This makes you laugh out loud, this man who just minutes ago went all sex god on you is now filled with concern.

"Are you alright though? I wasn't too hard? Or rough? Or-"

"Baby, you were perfect," you answer in a giggle, interrupting his worrying self.

There's a comfortable silence surrounding you both, not a single word is uttered. The only sound is the sound of your breathing.

Suddenly you feel him move and pull himself out of you. Bokuto is fast with tucking himself inside his briefs and pulling his pants up, buckling his belt too. While doing this, you feel his cum seeping out from your hole.

"Hold on I'm on it," his voice speaks and you can hear him look for something to clean you up with. "This will do."

He's back fast and with some paper towels that are not very nice to your lady parts, and he cleans you up. The feeling of the paper made you wince, both from being sensitive and roughly fucked by your ex and now boyfriend, but also from the paper not being soft enough for your liking.

"I'm done, there," he softly speaks, his voice filled with tenderness but also worry, that it was hurting you. He wasn't. He was doing something so much more, and you loved him for that.

Getting up and getting dressed was the part where it got uncomfortable for you, his eyes stared at you as you dressed, fixing both your gown and hair, making it not look like you’ve just been fucked.

Your thoughts wander to what had just happened. Was this just some kind of roleplay or did he want to impregnate you? Not that it mattered for you, you couldn’t care less because you got what you had wanted for years. Him.

Once you’re done you turn around and see that Bokuto is already watching you, a big smile on his lips.

"What?"

"Nothing. You’re just so beautiful I can stare at you all night.”

"I-" you blush. “Thank you.”

"Now,” he says as he takes a small step forward and grabs you by the waist, pulling you closer to him. His smile still there and you can see how his eyes are glowing.

“I love you,” he kisses you. “I love you so much (y/n). You’re the love of my life.”

"Again."

"Huh?" He turns his head to the side, not knowing what you mean.

"Say it again. I need to hear it again." With confidence, he grabs your face in his hands and holds you in place. His eyes watching yours and with the softest smile on his lips, he says:

"I love you.”

"I love you too." You sigh in happiness and he seals your lips with a passionate kiss. Both of you smiling through the kiss in pure bliss.

He pulls away and grabs your hand and starts to lead you out of the classroom and in the opposite direction of the party. Confusion consumes you as you speak.

"Kou, baby. The party is that way," you giggle and point down the other side of the hall.

"I know. We're not returning."

"We're not?" You ask in confusion.

"No."

"Why not?" He stops in his tracks and you collide with his rock hardback. He turns around, smirking.

"We have 3 years of lovemaking to do and I want you in my bed when doing that." He returns and walks you out and into the parking lot, leading to his car and a future of you and him together again. Nothing could stop you now.

#haikyuu!!#bokuto koutarou #haikyuu!! smut #hqhq server collab #bokuto smut #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #hq #haikyuu #haikyuu smut #sanda writes #my writing #smut

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literaila · 3 years

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hi i have a fic request: the reader and spencer were dating and instead of emily dying the reader “died”. and during the time that the reader was presumed “dead”, spencer met maeve and they started dated and everything and when the reader came back there was a ton of tension and awkwardness. and after maeve dies the reader comforts spencer and like they grow closer and get together? ty ily<3

the art of knowing

spencer reid x gn! reader

warnings: criminal minds themes, angst, fluff, death. all that fun stuff.

a/n: its four am. i take no credit for any of this. thank you for the request, my love.

he couldn't let go of that tiny piece of paper.

vaguely, he thought it might smell like you, still.

through the ceremony, through the tears, the stains on the vinyl flooring that everyone was walking on, the fresh grass, and the silence that followed when everyone had said goodbye-- he just couldn't let it go.

it was just a small piece of paper. a hastily scrawled-out letter to him, from you, that was on something only slightly bigger than a sticky note. he knew the words by heart, and even if he didn't, he could’ve guessed what it said.

he knew as soon as he saw it on his desk, as soon as he noticed the lone flower, the organization of the flies he’d left sprawled out. he knew that you’d been there, and he knew that you were gone. how could he not have known?

he couldn't get the question out of his head, and he couldn't get this paper out of his hand.

“goodbye, spencer” was quite possibly the last thing he would ever hear from you.

no, it was. he knew that.

god, he was sitting at your funeral, watching other people cry over you. he’d been asked to say something and he’d refused because you wouldn't want him crying on some podium in front of everyone else. because he wanted to save that for when he got home. he knew all of these things, and yet he still didn’t understand.

he had to face the truth, teach himself the reality.

he was still clutching the paper when derek came over, when he offered spencer a hand on the shoulder, his never-ending support.

spencer was trying to wipe away any hint of water that might be left on his face even though he knew that it would only irritate his eyes more. that he would cry some more today anyway.

“i’m sorry,” derek said instead of asking him what everyone else had asked him today. as if there was a difference in the responses they might get.

“you didn't do anything,” spencer said instead of telling him that he’d already said that. that he already knew. that he was sorry too.

“i didn't do enough,”

“there wasn't anything else you could do.” spencer didn't know why he was reassuring him, but, at least it distracted from the flowers everyone was laying on the ground.

“reid…”

spencer stood up, he clutched the paper in his hand harder, willing himself not to think of those last words again. he didn't look at derek, but he didn't walk away. his body was numb, his fingers felt like nothing. withdrawal, he could have told you. this is what heartbreak was. withdrawal from chemicals he’d grown dependent on.

but somehow, the science wasn't enough.

“i feel like i should have known,” he whispered, letting his eyes sting again. he didn't have the energy it would take to blink the tears away.

“known what?”

the scoff that followed the question was anything but kind. “two years. two years spent with y/n and i didn't even get the chance to know-” he could feel the words leaking out of his chest, flowing like blood, like there wasn't enough pressure. “a whole different life i didn't even know about.”

he was mad. he was so angry. he felt so guilty, but he couldn't feel anything but mad at the little piece of paper in his hands. the goodbye you had known he would need.

“we all have secrets,” derek said, another reassurance that just made spencer want to scream.

“yeah, and i’m supposed to know everything.”

it was just a tiny piece of paper. it wasn't you, it wasn't anything like the person he had known. you had died, you were dead, and you had died someone that spencer had never even known.

really, how couldn't he have known?

he’d known about addiction long before that day. long before he could ever properly understand what it was-- that you could be addicted to a person, too.

but, he also knew, he learned, that you could stop it. that you could put addiction in a drawer far away and move on with your life-- that you would take it out sometimes, just to look at it, and still it would be okay. that you could have more than just a second chance.

he knew that, now, then, before all of this, even.

spencer was a genius, and he knew now how grief worked. he knew how the passing of time could really heal a person.

he knew that he was falling in love with a voice.

that there were multiple stages to addiction.

and one of those was leaving you behind.

he… he didn't know who this person was.

he didn't, he just didn't understand who was standing in front of him, who was there, why you were standing there right in front of him.

awkwardly smiling.

you didn't exist anymore. not to him-- not to anyone. you were dead, you were sitting in the ground somewhere, you were a ghost flying above his head, telling him it was okay to move on.

you were there, standing in front of him.

he didn't know you. he didn't know those eyes, and he didn't know that smile, and he didn't know who he was when you were here. he didn't know how you were here.

so he asked.

“how?” he swallowed, tried to get that dried feeling out of his mouth.

“y/l/n’s identity was strictly ‘need to know’ and Paris was a safe place to be reassigned until their security was assured.”

apparently, it was now because you were standing in front of him.

you were standing in front of him, and he wasn't addicted to you anymore. he didn't care, and he couldn't feel anything, even when he willed himself to. he felt like the corpse, like he was the one who was burried in the ground-- like you were supposed to be.

but, no. no, because you were alive and he felt nothing.

and when you spoke, his heart didn't race. when he looked at your eyes, he didnt even classify them as familiar. they were something else, you were something else.

he knew beause he had your last words memorized, and these certainly weren't them.

and god, he certainly didn't know you.

it didn't take long to understand. not for you, who had known spencer better than you’d known anything before. not for you, who used to study his face, watch his expressions until you got bored-- just for fun.

it didn't take long to understand that something had changed, to see the difference in the air between the two of you. to feel it.

there was something different in his eyes, and, something had changed. even from the first moment he looked at you, that first pass of his eyes, even then. you knew.

how couldn’t you know?

they were different-- the brown, the swirl of colors, the familiarity. it was different. it was strange and terrifying, the change.

those eyes weren't looking at you the same, he wasn't looking at you like he used to.

and you knew that, you could feel it. so half an hour later when you were all walking out of the room, you had to chase him down. no after how determined he was to get away.

“spence-” you followed him, focused on nothing else. “spencer, hey-”

he turned around. you were shocked, by his eyes, by his frown. you took a step back, and you felt more than you possibly could in a hallway at the bureau.

“what?” he asked, and you weren't sure. what else was there to say? what were you supposed to know? how were you supposed to guess what had changed?

“i…” you willed your eyes not to sting, willed yourself not to be affected by this certain feeling in your chest. “i missed you?”

and maybe it was the wrong thing to say, maybe it was. but the scoff from spencer, the scoff hurt.

“i missed you too, when i thought you were dead.”

you stepped back, hurt, concerned, anything but the happiness you’d hoped to feel when you finally saw him again. his words were unfamiliar, his eyes were unfamiliar, and you still didn't know what to say.

how were you supposed to fix this?

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, looking down. you felt small now. you didn't understand, no matter how much you thought you might.

you’d died, you knew. you were gone for months, but you’d missed him. you’d spent every day, every single one of them, hoping, dreaming, wanting to go back to him. you wanted to touch him, to hear his voice, to listen to him even if it was over a cellphone. you wanted to be alive to him, to be his still. you just wanted him back.

you’d spent every day wanting him back.

but now, now all you wanted to do was to feel bigger. you wanted to see him smile, to know what had changed. you wanted the truth and nothing short of it.

“y/n, i…”

and this. this wasn't anger. his voice, quiet as it always was, beautiful as it always had been, desperate like you’d never heard before-- his voice was full of guilt, of shame you couldn't recognize.

“i’m glad you aren't dead.”

“ha,” you deadpanned, angry now at the sound of his voice. angry now at the feeling building in your chest. you weren't used to him anymore, you didn't know him the same anymore. but still, you knew too much.

“really, really glad, but i’ve,” his voice cracked, his eyes fell, his body was slouching. you knew how to read this, you would’ve known even if it wasn't him.

you didn't want to hear the next words, but you had to, and you did.

“i met someone- i-”

and maybe it was grief, maybe it was anger, maybe it was desperation, but you smiled. maybe it was an effort to be enough.

“it's okay, spencer.”

those words were such lies, but you had to believe them, you had to feel like you believed them. you owed him that.

“if you’re happy, then it's okay. that's all i’ve wanted, all i could hope for in-” you swallowed, took a breath that was just enough to keep you from falling on the floor, from begging at his feet. “paris,” you smiled wider, you took a step back, but this time just to give him space. “its okay,” you repeated.

and that had to be enough. it had to be enough because you were walking away.

but, really, spencer was the one who was leaving you behind. you should’ve understood sooner-- because how could you not have known?

you didn't bother to look at him.

it had been three weeks. three weeks since you’d broken up-- officially for you since you’d never actually gotten the chance to before, but you supposed you couldn’t actually break up with a corpse. three weeks since you’d smiled and walked away.

it had to be what was best for him. if spencer could find someone who made him happy, if spencer could find someone in the minuscule months you’d been gone, if spencer could move past you, then he deserved to. you couldn't be the one to stop that, and you wouldn't be mad because, honestly, you’d done it to yourself.

and he couldn't be mad because you weren't. because you’d let him go and he had no more reason to be mad. he could even go back to pretending you didn't exist if he wished to.

so you were both content. you both worked with each other, you both avoided eyes. you couldn't bother to look at him or his eyes when all you wanted to do was scream at the feeling in them.

because you’d known that feeling--before. because you’d been on the other end of that feeling before, because your eyes had mirrored his before, and because you knew how that felt.

and you were desperate to get it back. you wanted to pull him back, force him to stay in the cocoon of the two of you. you wanted to claw at him and never allow him to move away.

but that was selfish. you’d already been selfish enough. you’d made him grieve you, and now you had to return the favor.

the difference between the two of you was that you didn't know enough about addiction. you didn't know that despite the time that had passed, your withdrawal had never actually gone away. you didn't know how it worked and so you didn't know that it was still there.

you just saw the look in his eyes. a look you’d used to create. the look of love, of admiration, of hope. love, you used to feel, you think.

when you looked at him all you could see was the feelings he had for someone else.

so no, you didn't bother to look at him.

here was what spencer knew about grief: it passed. it was just withdrawal until it wasn't. love was just another addiction, just some more chemicals in your brain, just an idea that you clung to.

it would pass, he knew.

but how could he have known this would happen again?

it would pass, eventually.

but how was he supposed to live through it twice, but really only once?

because you were still here. because you were alive, and not dead, and you were walking him home. you were making sure he got there safe.

and you weren't dead, but she was.

and how was spencer supposed to cope with that?

how could he grieve, when he really didn't know how?

if this had been a fraction of what it was like when spencer thought you died, if this was anything like that-- you couldn't bear to see it.

it was like repetition, it was like deja vu, like a memory.

you saw his eyes, and you saw his hopelessness, and you saw yourself reflected back in the colors of his face. you saw the grief, the pain, the anger, the loss.

you couldn't bear to watch this, not then, not now. not when you still felt angry, not when you were still angry.

they had all pleaded with you-- go talk to him, they said. talk to him, you’ll understand.

but that wasn't fair because spencer hadn't died for you. you’d left him and spencer had survived. it wasn’t fair because you still hadn't learned how to deal with any of it. you still couldn't let go, move on, as he had.

so then, why were you standing in front of his door, holding a card addressed to spencer from all of your friends?

well, you couldn't bear to stay away. and you almost couldn't bear to face him when he opened the door, but somehow, you did. somehow, you spoke first.

“hi, spencer,” you said, waving at him, moving back a little, just to give him some space.

“what’re you…” he looked around, looking for someone with you, someone else. his voice was rough like he hadn't talked in days. he looked like a skeleton, standing there in front of you. “...doing here?” he looked you up and down, but he wasn't really looking at anything.

you noticed the hand he had on the door, the subconscious way he had begun to close it, the hand he was holding over his chest, blocking you from him.

“the team sent me, they’re really worried,” your voice was shaking, and you had no idea why. “i brought a card from them, and- and i wanted to see how you were doing.”

his brows furrowed, like what you’d said didn't make any sense. you copied him, concerned with your own sanity. wondering again, why you were here?

“no offense,” he started, standing up taller, looking and sounding anything like spencer, anything but pleasant. “but we aren't really friends, are we?”

there was some irritation rolling up your spine at his words, but his face was innocent. he wasn't being malicious, he wasn't trying to make you feel ridiculous, and he wasn't trying to hurt you anymore. he was too kind for that, you knew.

you took a breath in, tried to smile. “i guess not,” you sighed, looking down at the ground with unmistakable shame, but then you looked back up. “but, i care about you. i want to be here for you. i- i want to be.. here.”

and no matter how closed off he looked, no matter how strange his face looked, no matter how much you knew he didn't want to, he opened the door and let you in.

and that was how it started. your friendship with spencer.

really, who could’ve known?

"i like your apartment," you said while the two of you walked through it. while spencer led you through whatever this strange place was.

"yeah, well, i couldn't keep the apartment after..." he trailed off, no remorse, no feeling in his voice.

you went to sit on his couch, strange and different, but he stayed standing. he paced around the floor, mumbling things under his breath you couldn't understand.

the tightlipped smile you had on your face was doing nothing to conceal your emotions.

"after i died."

he looked up at that, shocked by your crudeness. you rolled your eyes, pulling off your jacket.

"that's a shame, i really liked that kitchen."

spencer bit his lip, continued his pacing, muttered "i know" under his breath. his irritation would've made you laugh if he wasn't looking so insane.

you saw the bottles on the table, the mugs laying around, the papers and books thrown across the floor-- all the things you didn't want to see, you saw them. and you almost couldn't bear it, almost tried to pretend you still hadn't noticed them. but, you were familiar with this.

he did this before when he was still in love with you. when he was stressed.

despite how hard you might try, you couldn't just forget everything about him.

"do i need to ask spencer?" your voice was softer now, quieter. you knew him, and he knew what you were asking.

"do you really want the answer, y/n?" he retorted, rolling his eyes.

maybe sometime, you'd tell him that his defense mechanism was sarcasm. maybe sometime, you'd let him know how annoying it could be.

"it's not going to be what i want, but, neither is anything else." it was a subtle remark about the situation, you hoped spencer hadn't heard those last couple of words. "i don't want this for you, spencer, but i'm here to listen, and so i will."

he stopped pacing, stopped stepping over books and around paperwork. he stopped moving, and it reminded you of that night.

it reminded you of him collapsing in on himself, it reminded you of the anger you knew you didn't deserve to feel, the relief you knew you would never get.

it reminded you of further back when all you could do was smile and let him go.

you'd known him for so long, but you'd never seen him broken like this.

your thoughts distracted you from spencer, who was sitting next to you now, running an agitated hand through his hair, turning himself away from you.

"do you know what grief does to the body?" he asked.

yes, you could have answered. yes, im feeling it right now.

but instead, you said "no," and waited for him to continue.

he did, begrudgingly, a few moments later. "the shock factor causes a spike of adrenaline in your system-- a lot like someone gets in a bad accident --and then when the adrenaline wears off, your body has no choice but to succumb to the pain."

and you, well, you could have told him that, but you let him continue.

"a lot of people have documented actual inflammation which attributes to health issues after a loved one has..." he stopped there. he paused, and his eyes were gone. his feeling was gone, his words were gone.

you could practically see him disappearing on the couch, right next to you.

you could see him slipping away, the reality sinking in further than it could before, and so, you started talking.

you had to say something, and this would have to be enough. your remorse for him would have to be enough to get you through this.

because otherwise, how could you stand it?

"do you ever get that moment in the morning, when you've temporarily forgotten everything bad and it just feels... peaceful?" the words were a shock to both of you. the sound of your voice.

you weren't looking at him, but the wall, willing yourself not to feel that reminder. not to think of any of it. "do you ever get that?" you repeated, eyes off.

spencer nodded, small, hard for you to see when you were actively trying not to look at him-- but enough to continue.

"it's like our conscious and subconscious make a pact, to give us that split second of peace." you laughed, bittersweet, and looked at him. you turned towards him, making sure he was looking at you.

making sure he couldn't tell what you were thinking about, that this was about anything but him.

"when that relief happens, spencer, you have to grab hold of it-- just hold onto it."

he stared at you, brows furrowed.

"you reach, and you grab it, and you keep it." you nodded along with your words, feeling that sick crawling up your chest, feeling that grief along with all the guilt.

this wasn't fair to him, you knew that, but if this could help-- even a little bit --you had to try.

"why...?" spencer tried to start, clearing his throat to keep his word from breaking.

"that's how you get past it." you motioned to him, to the floor, to the things all around his home, and finally, to yourself. "passed all the shock, and adrenaline, and all the sick."

spencer was looking down, not at you anymore, not at anything.

you used to know those eyes, you were sure. you used to understand every thought that ran through his head, you used to remember the person you had been with him. you used to be able to think of him without cringing, without that sick feeling in your stomach, wrapping itself around you like a blanket.

you used to understand, and now you didn't. but this had to be enough. this had to be enough for you, to be here with him.

"okay?" you asked, softer, gently. "okay?" you repeated.

and he nodded.

you went over once a week. just for the first couple of months. you went over to spencer's, you watched movies, you held his hand and squeezed his shoulder.

you managed not to tear yourself into pieces, managed to actually smile when you were around him. you managed to do it all, managed to do enough to keep the nightmares away, to keep those circles from under his eyes.

and that's all you wanted, really. that's all you needed. as long as spencer was okay, okay as he could be, as long as he was coping, moving on, doing everything a normal human being should. as long as he was doing all of that, you didn't need anything else.

and, and if there was a tiny piece of you, locked away in all the dark parts you tried to keep secret-- if there was a piece of you that was hopeful, that was holding onto something other than just tiny moments, if there was a piece of you that thought maybe he would just-

if there was any piece of you that thought differently, well, you would ignore it.

you went over once a week, just to make sure he was okay.

and really, where was the harm in that?

"'the shining' tonight?" he asked, walking alongside you, carrying the coffee you had just bought for him.

"why do you insist on watching that at least once a month-"

"this is actually only the third time,"

"it was enough the first two." he smiled at you, and you couldn't keep the grin from slipping back.

"sounds good," he concluded, walking along.

and if you followed him, well, you were just being a good friend.

"do you think i should get a haircut?" you asked, walking around his desk, prancing more like. prancing like he was your prey and you were about to eat him.

the thought made you giggle.

"your hair looks fine," he answered, not really paying attention. instead, he was marking something off of a page, flipping to the next one in barely a second.

"real nice, spence. as long as you think it's fine-"

"did you know that the average person gets around 150 haircuts in their lifetime?"

"yeah, spencer, and all those people have dead ends," you groaned and he hummed.

and if you liked the way the light was reflecting off of his face, hiding the shadows you knew were there, well, you were just bored.

"spencer-" he was running away from you, running away from whatever ghost was following him.

you had to stop chasing him, but somehow, you knew you wouldn't be able to even if you tried.

"spencer, will you just-" you tried again, running far enough ahead so that you could stand in his way.

you couldn't bear to see the blank look in his eyes, the emotionless void you would never get used to.

"yes?" he asked, like you were a child like you were a little kid and you needed him to fix something.

it was condescending and rude and you just wanted to yell at him-- to yell at yourself for being irritated.

"are you okay?" you asked instead. you hated the words, but you hated this feeling more.

"i'm fine." and then he attempted to get past you.

"spencer, those girls, they were all-"

"all what, y/n? all shot? all murdered?"

"that's not what i mean-"

"that's the job, y/l/n. you should know that."

he was gone after that. disappearing, like you both had before.

and, if you wanted to scream, to bang your fists against the wall until it broke, to beg him to just listen to you, to sleep in his bed and watch him while he slept, well. you were going to ignore it. grief wasn't an object, and it wouldn't go away.

you would know.

some nights, particularly on the ones when spencer was busy, when there was a case and you weren't supposed to be sneaking into each other's hotel room, on those nights you felt colder than you ever had before.

you felt that feeling again-- the one spencer had taught you about.

the sick that almost made your insides collapse. the sick that was going to fill you to the brim until it couldn't anymore, numb you to the very edge. the sick that had been there for over a year, a long year full of death. full of life and nothing but destruction. the infection that should've been gone ages ago.

on those nights, you tried to hold onto reality, tried to remind yourself of what had actually happened.

it was all a chain of events, really. and it was truly all of your fault.

you couldn't be angry because if you wanted to be angry at someone, it had to be yourself.

it couldn't be spencer, or maeve, or hotch, or the universe.

just you.

and the sick would pass, you knew. the next day when spencer would hand you your coffee mug, when he would say something-- anything --and you would listen. it would all go away.

and if those feelings, if that reality that you kept trying to avoid, if that wouldn't go away, well. you were going to have to let it go because you couldn't keep going like this. pretending.

honestly, how couldn't you know?

recently, the effort you'd put into keeping at least a three-foot distance between you and spencer was tireless.

to give him space, obviously. to avoid bumping into him when you were walking, to keep yourself from tripping into him.

it was just convenient, you told yourself. nothing else to it.

except, on this night, after a long day at work, after spencer had sat down right next to you with a book in hand, so much closer than you wanted. well, you couldn't just simply move away.

there was no space on this couch anyway.

technically, you were supposed to be watching a movie. technically, spencer had picked this one out-- something about the discovery of water, you thought --and you had no interest in it. technically, he was completely ignoring it.

before, two years ago-- almost, that was. almost two years without him. before, two years ago, you would've bickered with him about it until he gave in. until he put down the book, clicked a button on the remote you'd misplaced, and lean in so close to you that you could barely breathe. it was a routine, you were sure, and back then you wondered if he brought the book out just so you would tease him about. like it was an excuse to kiss you if he needed one.

not that you were thinking about that. not that he was doing it again. not that it mattered, honestly.

just a memory that hit you, is all, as you stared at the screen, pretended to listen to the words when all you wanted to do was put some distance between the two of you.

it was getting hard not to feel that pull, not to let that feeling trap you.

"spencer," you whispered, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye.

he hummed instead of answering, didn't look up from the page.

"you're cold,"

he quirked an eyebrow at you, turning towards you only slightly. he was only a little bit closer now, but it only proved you were lying some more.

he was desperately hot.

"do you need a blanket?" he asked, the picture of innocence.

at least one of you was.

"no, just maybe a little more space. don't want to get hypothermia," you coughed, an attempted laugh maybe, and tried to move away.

"you're not showing any of the symptoms of hypothermia-- are you fatigued, or is your heart racing?"

you would've laughed if he wasn't moving his face closer to yours, trying to check your pupils discreetly.

"um, no, spencer. i was kidding, i'm just going to--" you moved, an inch, and then another, smiling at him.

it wasn't too suspicious. and the movie was halfway over.

"okay,"

and you looked back at the screen...

only to feel his eyes on you a moment later. you turned your head slightly. he hadn't picked his book back up, hadn't moved an inch from before.

"aren't you going to read your book again so you can keep bothering me, reid?"

you didn't need to look to see the smile. "is it bothering you?"

you threw your head back, turning so he could see you roll your eyes. his brown ones, impossibly bright, impossibly beautiful were staring back at you, mischievous. you bit the inside of your cheek and then laughed.

"no, of course not, spencer." you turned towards the tv again. "i am very interested and equally involved in the discovery of water," you waved your hand for him to continue.

"that's not actually what..." he trailed off, freezing at something.

"are you okay?" this time, you didn't hesitate to move closer to him, to place a hand on his shoulder and get him to look at you.

his heat was excruciating and addicting. a dangerous combination.

but your concern beat your stupid feelings, and so, you didn't move away.

"deja vu..." he said, head-turning, eyes looking down on you.

"what?"

"we've done this before," was all he said, continuing to stare like he didn't know what was happening. staring at you with strange eyes, strange wide eyes.

it was only scaring you a little bit. you didn't understand.

"we've never watched this movie before," you reassured as if he was worried about that. as if that was the problem.

"no," he said, moving a foot closer, breaking the boundary you had put between the two of you. "no, but we've done this before."

he was too close, now.

"spencer... what?" you looked from the screen to him, nervously, trying not to feel intimidated, small. he hadn't been this close in so long.

"just-" and then he was leaning in. he was leaning close enough for his breath to trail across your skin, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his cheek, that you could barely see his eyes anymore.

close enough to kiss you.

but, you couldnt breathe like that.

and so, with all the grace you had, you moved back. so far back, and put your knees up as a barrier between the two of you. anything to keep him away.

"um, spencer i don't know if you forgot-" he tried to interrupt, but you weren't paying attention. "i died, remember? and then- and then, um, you moved on and, we haven't done that in a long time and-"

“y/n-"

"-we're just friends, right? and friends don't really get that close- we shouldn't get-" but he was, he was getting that close, and your stuttering was slowing because you couldn't focus on anything but him.

"i remember," spencer whispered, but his eyes weren't on yours anymore. no, they were on your lips, staring down at the place he hadn't bothered to look at in two years. at your face, which he hadn't seen until now.

"we cant-"

"can i kiss you?" he asked, instead of paying attention, instead of remembering, instead of understanding that this was going to tear you from the inside out.

"i don't think that's a good idea, spencer, i really don't..." you trailed off because he was moving back.

"i'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to," he promised, looking so beautiful, speaking so plainly.

and those words, they made your heart start beating again. because who was he to assume?

"no! it's just- we haven't kissed. we don't kiss, anymore."

it was a painful reality, and you almost felt bad for saying it when you saw the wince on spencer's face, but, it was the truth. you couldn't deny either of you from the truth.

"i know it's familiar, and maybe comforting, but i don't think it's a good idea." you breathed in once, wanted to scream at yourself for saying those words. wanted to scream because you'd wanted to kiss spencer since the moment you'd stopped.

"no, that's not why i want to kiss you," his voice broke on the word kiss, and you attempted to scramble yourself on the couch, to move so that he wouldn't have the opportunity to convince you.

it wouldn't take much.

"it'll just hurt us both more, spencer." your voice was monotone because you weren't sure if you could get this out any other way. the stinging around your eyes had to be fake because you weren't crying.

honestly, you didn't care.

and then, spencer got up, walked away.

and you had to care. you had to care because, despite the fact that he'd left you, that you'd been grieving for him for the last two years, that you missed him more than it was possible to miss another person-- despite all of that, he was your best friend.

he'd become your best friend, had been that since you'd first met, and you couldn't let that go now.

so you followed, you followed again, and called his name again, and begged him to come back, for the first time out loud.

but when he came back out of his bedroom, all you heard was the crinkling of paper.

you just saw spencer's never-ending serious face, but, mixed was the tiniest him of embarrassment. the pink splattered across his cheek, the hesitation to look at you.

he was holding something.

"what's that?" you asked, distracted from the issue, momentarily focused on just him and not the past.

except, when he held it up, you could see that it was the opposite.

"it's the letter you wrote me when-" he swallowed, smiling a sad smile at you and then looking down again. "when you left."

you'd left it on his desk, so he'd find it first. so that he would be the first one to know.

"oh," you breathed out, shocked, sick.

"i kept it because it was the last piece i had of you," he folded it into tiny pieces, then unfolded it along the creases. it looked like a practiced motion "i used to keep it in my shirt pocket, but when i met maeve, i put it in my bedside drawer."

goodbye, spencer. you'd wrote. you'd cried while writing it, cried while you drove away, cried when you woke up in the hospital, cried every night after you came back.

it was excruciating to leave without spencer, but you'd learned it was worse to have him leave you when you were still there.

you'd have traded that feeling for anything else.

you breathed in, shakily. you didn't like these memories, you didn't like that he was digging them back up, but you had to listen. you wouldn't leave, now.

"i put it in my bedside drawer because it's important to keep mementos-- its actually a method of coping, and some people believe it strengthens relationships, and you were gone, but i thought that-" he stopped. took a deep breath in, closed his eyes and counted to three. you could tell, you knew him that well.

you smiled, despite the stinging in your eyes, the pricks on your skin, the crawling up your stomach.

"i kept it because it was the last words i got from you, and i couldn't let that go. i still cant, y/n."

you couldn't process these words, you couldn't process this feeling. it was detrimental, and you had noting you could say.

"i don't know if you can ever stop loving someone, i mean," he snorted, looked right at you like he didn't know what he was saying. "i know you can learn to love someone else, but, i don't know if you can ever get rid of that feeling... of that-" and he was still looking at you, but he wasn't talking anymore.

and you weren't breathing because this was a dream, because you would not allow yourself to wake up from this, and you would not start crying in front of him.

you were selfish selfish selfish.

"i don't know how i couldn't have known i was still in love with you, but i didn't, and now," his eyes, his voice, his entire demeanor softened. he was molding, changing right in front of you. it had to be impossible. "i do. i know."

spencer had never spoken this much, he didn't confess, he didn't not know things, so this had to be fake. it had to be.

"spencer," you gasped out, shocked by the sound of your own voice. shocked to find out that you still couldn't breathe.

shocked to watch him move forward, smile the same smile you thought you might've fallen in love with.

"you know now, so, can i kiss you?"

you couldn't remember the last time the two of you had kissed. you thought that it might've been right before bed that night, that you might've kissed him on his forehead while he was sitting on his desk, that he might've kissed up your neck while you cuddled each other to sleep.

but you couldn't remember.

and so, it was painful to even utter the word "yes".

it was painful to feel that again. that lovely, lovely feeling.

his lips against yours, softer than you could remember, slower than you'd ever imagined possible. so much better than you could've thought another persons lips could be.

and you wanted to gasp, to breathe, but you didn't dare move away from him.

this was too good, this was too waited for, this was too painful to move back.

and so you didn't and neither did he. neither of you could.

you grabbed at each other, threaded your hands through his hair, held onto his face like you would never let go, and you kissed him like you loved him.

because you did.

and then, when you did break, when you were sure, you moved back and couldn't stop the slip of "spencer" that came from your lips.

your puffy, recently kissed lips.

and when you finally got the courage to open your eyes, the most beautiful smile you could've seen was there. waiting for you.

"you're my moment." spencer said, he whispered as if it was a realization.

"what?" you asked, still breathless, still addicted to a kiss you hadn't allowed yourself to think of, really, in two years.

"that moment in the morning, the moment of peace when everything is still good... you're my moment."

your heart stopped again. stopped, because this was you, these were your words coming from his lips.

"do you remember?" he asked, thinking of those words from those months ago, those words you'd told him in an effort to comfort yourself. to remind yourself that he was still there.

you nodded and spencer smiled.

"you're my peace and my relief, y/n," he pulled your face closer to his, leaned in, and it was like nothing you'd ever felt before.

his smile, his lips, his words.

this was a strange feeling.

"i'm holding onto you, now. i don't think i can let go,"

these weren't his words, but they were enough.

you were smiling, you realized. even with the tear stains down your face, even with the puffy lips, even with the heartache and the addiction, even with the years between the two of you.

you were smiling.

"i love you, spencer."

and so was he.

because really, how couldn't you have known?

my masterlist here.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfic #spencer x reader #spencer reid fan #spencer reid sad #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #Criminal Minds Reid #fanfic

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brownieracha · 1 year

Text

I posted 727 times in 2022

123 posts created (17%)

604 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hyunpic

@felixtok

@minzbins

@jinniebit

@sanchelinz

I tagged 268 of my posts in 2022

#stray kids - 55 posts

#felix - 33 posts

#oddinary - 14 posts

#maxident - 13 posts

#ask - 12 posts

#ateez - 12 posts

#wooyoung - 11 posts

#bangchan - 11 posts

#personal - 10 posts

#hyunjin - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#i was listening to the playlist me and my friends have together cause we were all together lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

I AM NOT OKAY FUCKIN LEE FELIX

7 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

Guerrilla MV

8 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

Cat café

pairing: Felix x reader

wc: 2.5K

genre: fluff

content warnings: none

a/n: this is my first fic so be nice please :)

(ty @georgenootfound for beta reading this ily)

“Oh! don’t worry” he hands me my last things “I wasn’t looking, it’s totally my fault.”

I finish shoving all my stuff inside the tote bag. I turn back to thank him, but. Wow.

Fuck I love freckles.

“I’m Felix by the way” he scratches the back of his head nervously. Could he get any cuter? “Again, sorry for bumping into you” his deep voice snaps me out of my trance.

I introduce myself back.

There’s not a day that has gone by since that accident. I have not stopped thinking about that Felix. At this point, I don’t even think I can stop.

Again. Can anyone ever look where they’re going?

“Sor-“ I start to apologize to the stranger when, to my surprise I realize who it is. This couldn’t be real, not again. “Oh-”

“Oh hey, didn’t see you there…again” I feel my cheeks going red “It seems like we can’t meet in a normal way.” He chuckles.

“Oh, I wish we could,” I mumble, still looking down at my shoes.

“What was that?” I look up immediately. Stupid, why did I have to say that out loud? I feel my cheeks heating up more- if that’s even possible. I bet I look like a fucking tomato. Crap.

“Huh?” Huh? That’s all I can say? God. I wish I could function like a normal human being. “I didn’t say anything” ugh.

“Are you sure?” A devilish smile paints his face “are you sure you didn’t say anything?” he tilts his head.

Damn. I wish I could disappear.

Instantly.

I don’t know what to say, so I stay silent. I look back down, too embarrassed to keep eye contact.

He grins. “Me too, by the way.”

And with that he turns around and walks away. It takes me a few seconds to process everything that happened.

See the full post

13 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

43 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sir???? lee know????? what are u doing????

99 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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alycosworld · 3 years

Note

guess who🤡 heyhey 💕 here. I’m pretty sure by this 2nd request u can tell that I��m a very emotional person🧍🏻‍♀️ and that I’m a person that seeks alot of comfort from fictional characters because i dont have a life and good friends.

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putting a divider here so u dont have to read everything and can look out for keywords!

purple—> person

pink—>genre

green—>subject

➽───────────────❥

I’m not sure if u r comfy writing kazuha so if yr not I’m sorry u can ignore this! i just want a fluff comfort for reader who got like REALLY scolded for getting bad grades for exams because u have no idea how angsty I’m feeling rn:( my parents just literally like scolded me like there was no tmr istg- so i just need really fluff comfort. so a kazuha x NB(non bibary)!reader

➽───────────────❥

Anyways again tysm u have no idea how grateful i am if you accept my request!!!<3 get lots of rest and drink water. only do this if you want to!

byebye<3

-💕

Kazuha's Wise and Whimsical Words

Kaedehara Kazuha X Reader

A/N: aaaa 💕anon ily!! being emotional is completely fine and I would be honoured to become of your good friends!! I will be a part of your life, private message me if you're ever feeling down! I just want my readers happy because they make me happy aaaaaa 🥺

with that being said, i love this request! My parents were so hard on me when it came to exams, but as soon as I broke away from their expectations, I started to appreciate my grades more. I'll leave the real comforting words for Kazuha to say but NO ONE SHOULD EVER be disappointed in yourself if you tried your best. Thank you for your support and the request, I hope the story makes you feel better. Enjoy!

ps: I took into account the fact that not everyone has a mother and a father and not everyone has two parents at all, so only one parent is mentioned here and they are left gender neutral so it's easier to picture yourself in the story.

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"(Y/N). This is not at all what I expected. What happened to you?" Your parent asked sternly.

"Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Your predicted grades were much higher than this!" They said, raising their voice.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Sorry is not going to improve your results! Do you really think that now is a good time to be slacking off? You have one more exam period before university. I don't care if you pass those exams, I want you to excel. And if you don't, you are not attending Sumeru Academia, whether they accept you or not. I am not paying for you to study overseas, only for you to get mediocre grades." They said, making you even more anxious than before the exam.

"But I got above the average!"

"By two percent! And the average was low." Your parent said, narrowing their eyes slightly and upsetting you with their belittling gaze.

"Realistically--"

"Realistically? Realistically?! If you want to study realistically, you should find someone else to pay for your education. When you want to study successfully, you can come back." They slammed the stack of sheets that displayed your results on the table with a loud bang before folding their arms as you grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the house, tears running down your face.

You walked for a while in the night, before eventually finding yourself in an area you were less familiar with. After recognising it to be somewhere near your boyfriend's current residence off Beidou's ship, you made a beeline for his place, knocking on the door and hoping, praying he would be alone inside.

The door soon opened and Kazuha stood there, initially with a smile on his face but it soon dropped when he saw your expression.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" He asked.

"C-can I come inside?" You sniffled.

"Of course, Love. Come in." He said, ushering you into his quaint little place. You stood by the door that closed behind you before Kazuha pushed the coat you had lazily draped over your shoulder onto the floor and enveloped you in his arms.

You broke down in his embrace. You had done better than most of your fellow students, and frankly, you were kind of proud of your result. But it was foolish of you to think that your parent would accept anything but perfection. They said it was all for you, but you were doubting it. Did you even want to go to Sumeru Academia? You had had your heart set on it since you were a child, but maybe that was only because your folks always envisioned you going there.

"Why are you crying, my love?" Kazuha asked, sitting you down near the fire to warm you up and standing up to get you a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"I'm not good enough." You mumbled. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have heard you. But your boyfriend could listen to the wind "talk" - he was very attuned to quiet and subtle noises.

"Nonsense." He smiled, bringing you the blanket as you listened to the water boil in the background.

"You're more than good enough. Everyone who knows you adores you - no one more than me, of course." Kazuha chuckled, eventually setting down two cups of tea and sitting in front of you on the floor.

"Public opinion won't improve my grades." You said, now more stoic than upset. You had almost become numb and desensitised to degrading comments that after you cried a little and calmed down, you'd be straight-faced and almost emotionless. It didn't feel good, but it was certainly better than feeling bad.

"So this is about school." Kazuha nodded, gesturing for you to continue explaining why had happened.

"They keep talking about my grades. They said I shouldn't be slacking and that I'm not going to get to Sumeru Academia and that they want me to do better...maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe they're trying to encourage me?" You wondered aloud, thinking that somehow you were the problem. As soon as you said "they", Kazuha knew who you are referring to and sighed.

"Encouragement and doubt are two very different things. Unrealistic expectations, detrimental practices, emotionally, mentally or physically taxing improvement - none of that is going to help you. In fact, it'll make you feel worse. When you really think about what you have to do to achieve perfection, you'll only realise how unattainable it is. You'll fall into a perpetual spiral of intellectual destruction." Kazuha said.

"Then how the hell am I gonna get the best results?" You asked worriedly.

"You won't. No one will ever get the best results because more people and more previously unforeseen factors will come into play. What you can achieve is your best results. Your grades are a product of you, not the other way around. They are no measure of your worth, they cannot define you, and they do not have to be a part of you. If you don't ace one subject, you don't have to hang on to that or turn it into some strange part of you. You can't cling to it, it's impossible to cling to a piece of the past forever. That's not to say you don't learn from it, but it doesn't need to become some villainous trait - in the end, it is only a grade." Kazuha shield at you. His words warmed your heart more than the fire or tea, and they even seemed to dry your tears and allow you to mirror his expression.

"And at the very least, you can hold your head high knowing that you had the strength to participate in an exam when not everyone does. You went in, sat through it, attempted the questions and walked out. Not everyone has the courage to stay; some don't even have the courage to start. That goes for any endeavour you face." Kazuha said, before inching closer to you.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. You nodded instantly. Of course, Kazuha's wise and whimsical words had bettered your mood, it was Kazuha for Archon's sake.

"Good. Maybe we could go for an evening stroll? I'll treat you to dinner if you haven't eaten." He offered.

"Can...can we just stay like this for a little longer? I think being alone with you is nicer." You smiled.

"Of course, Angel. Anything you want."

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this was less physical fluff than I intended, but I think I do comfort with direct words and dialogue best, so I hope this is okay. honestly, everything kasha said is what I would've wished to hear when I was in this situation. I'll probably post a rant about my own exam experiences because this request got all my past feelings to resurface.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

#kazuha #genshin #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #genshin impact #genshin kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #kasha fluff #fluff comfort #comfort #kazuha comfort #non-binary reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n

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