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crookedherringcolorclod · 2 years

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Sakamakis forced into a Catholic School, well this should be fun… consider this as my way of torturing them. ⛪️

•Ah it all started when one of the boys killed the daughter of an important family.

•It doesn’t matter who did it, Reiji ended up having a family talk in the living room to give the bad news. They’re going to a Catholic school for a semester before returning to Ryoutei Academy to escape the drama.

•Uniforms were ready, and they bought the textbooks required. They were going to start on a nice early morning on a Monday.

•They just had to pick the Catholic school that requires their students to arrive at school at 7 in the morning. Wonderful, JUST. WONDERFUL.

•Ayato had none of this Catholic school nonsense and didn’t listen to what Reiji said. He didn’t even check the school’s handbook and the never-ending lists of rules that everyone must follow word for word.

•Kanato already has a hard time with sleep but this?! This was ridiculous. He wailed to Teddy about how this isn’t fair and kept trying to sleep with his puffy eyes and clogged nose. No one dared to send an even more sleep-deprived Kanato into another fit.

•Laito was internally screaming and brainstorming on what kind of sunscreen he should use. Which sunscreen would not be too oily, won’t make him look too shiny and long-lasting? Would his super sensitive skin even handle the hyaluronic acid in the sunscreen?

•This has haunted Laito all weekend and wouldn’t stop thinking about it as he went to bed. It haunted him so hard that he just decided to wear the uniform properly.

•Don’t get Laito started on how he would plan on styling this stiff-ass uniform. That’s another monster to deal with AFTER HIS SKINCARE.

•Reiji was studying 3 quarters advanced on Christianity and slowly losing his head over how complicated the religion wrote their texts. He even went as far as trying to translate Biblical Hebrew from the original Bible to Latin to Japanese for good measure. 🫠

•Subaru wanted to hide in his coffin blasting emo music and Shu ended up going out of the mansion to not deal with his problems which lead to a wild goose chase to look for him.

•I swear they have never tried tracking him down since he was young, happy, and running off to see Edgar.

•Luckily, they managed to find him and Reiji managed to gather all his brothers together for the early Monday morning.

•That was the first time all the brothers saw Reiji with eyebags Laito even tried to advise on removing them and told Reiji that it worked on Kanato. Kanato punched Laito on the side for that comment. Sorry, Kanato got even less sleep than usual.

•There was so much chaos before school even got to start, it got worse the moment they stepped on school grounds, and a student who was doing a dress code check literally stopped Shuu, Ayato, Kanato, and Subaru in their tracks and started ticking out boxes from the list in their hands before they could say “What”

•So, to summarize everything, Ayato didn’t tie his tie properly, buttoned his shirt wrong, and needs to pull his pant leg down.

•Subaru needed to replace his shirt which was ripped at the bottom, remove that key necklace along with the small accessories he always wore, and was demanded that he dye his hair black because they thought his hair was dyed and said that white hair is not allowed. (Dude, please… it’s natural)

•Shu needed to button up his first few buttons, comb his unruly hair and wear the jacket properly instead of just draping it over his shoulders.

•As for Kanato? Well, they said that he should ditch his red string tie, change into pants, and said that he should stop dressing up like a middle school boy.

•Oh… they also confiscated Teddy and told a fuming Kanato that he will have Teddy back after 10 hours since classes start at 7 am and end at 5 pm… and that if he brought Teddy again, they would give it away to the nearest orphanage. Without his consent.

•That was the moment when Reiji wanted to faint from the incoming stress the moment Kanato was ready to throw hands. Or a fork, maybe two forks. Worst case scenario is a pair of scissors.

•So, on the first day, four out of six of the brothers had penalties for their uniforms, and someone already needed to go to the doctor. The most shocking part of it all was that it wasn’t Subaru’s fault that the kid went to the hospital, but Kanato’s.

•They had to go home early to get their bearings. Reiji needed a new plan on what to do that will prevent Kanato from attempting murder on the dress code dude and how to prove that Subaru’s hair is natural so that they won’t hurt the family budget for boxes of black hair dye. As well as giving preventing giving other students black eyes.

•After a good amount of brainstorming and baking sweets for Kanato to help improve his mood Reiji finally came up with something.

•Reiji managed to get half a dozen of “real hair certificates” for all six members of the family just in case another brother would be asked if their hair is natural and sewn a mini-Teddy for Kanato to hide in his inner pocket.

•Reiji may be a stickler for the rules but letting Kanato bring a mini-Teddy to this school can bring the fragile peace the brother needs.

•So, on the second day, they all dressed up properly, finally went to their classes without a hitch, introduced themselves, and sat in their assigned seats.

Now that’s out of the way, time for individual headcannons for each Sakamaki boy.

Ayato

•Ayato is the Wattpad bad boy that all reserved girls secretly dreamed of more than once. Especially with the fact he would talk back to the teachers which is a no-go.🙅‍♀️

•Cut the girls some slack, the school was so strict they don’t allow the students to read anything but the Bible during school hours.

•Some of the students were punished for sneaking in light novels. They weren’t even erotic novels!!!

•It’s because the titles the students got punished for were Witch Hat Atelier and The Girl from the Other Side… The school and its staff just watered it down to “DEMONS AND WITCHES BAAAAD”

•So yeah. There were students that were quite curious with a little… rebelliousness.

•Ayato would rip the Bible up and make paper planes out of it and aim it towards the teacher’s face. Paper planes go wheee~

•Some of the students wanted to laugh when Ayato taped a piece of paper behind the male teacher's lower back that says "SPANK ME DADDY *insert the school's priest's name*”

•You should have seen the teacher’s face. He was pissed and his face was red from embarrassment.

•Ayato had to stand in the hallway for that and was required to go to the principal after class to consult Ayato about his behavior with his guardian (Reiji)

•He can’t even go outside of the school grounds to snag some extra Takoyaki, how devastating.

Kanato

•Despite the rough first day Kanato had to deal with his mood improved with the fact he is surrounded by girls that are his type. Cute and innocent looking. You know, like dolls.

•Yeah, those uniforms and their skirts that end below the knee won’t save the girls from Kanato. The uniforms might as well be gift wrapping paper because Kanato would pounce on them if he can.

•He too would have to stand in the hallway for his tantrums and for trying to smuggle sweets in his school bag. Ayato, you have company.

•Despite his erratic behavior he was asked to join the choir. His brothers thought it would be funny if a vampire was in the choir, singing and praising the Lord.

Laito

•Laito played the good boy act because teachers had suspicions about him when he was flirting with the female students on the first day as well as the fact that he is related to Kanato. You know, the one who sent the kid to the hospital.

•Honestly, it was creepy how well he managed to fool the teachers. It was a facade on top of another facade.

•It doesn’t help that he managed to sleep with about hmm… half of the girls by the end of the semester. The reason why he couldn’t get the other half was that they were more stubborn about being chaste and pure Laito ended up going for the easier and more gullible prey.

•He doesn’t like the uniform and was tempted to style it, but the school won’t allow him to even change the color of his tie or wear anything else other than dress pants.

•They even forced him to cut his shoulder-length hair, boohoo. So Laito was stuck with short hair for a semester. It made him look more handsome than pretty and it made the girls swoon.

•Ugh, curse that pretty privilege.

Shu

•Shu just wanted to listen to music and nap, but the teachers were keeping an eye on him and caught him skipping class a few times.

•Shu gets more workouts with all the punishments that he’s been given by the teachers. For a lot of reasons.

•They got him holding stacks of books on each arm and made him a prime example of what happens if you would dare disobey.

•Although it’s not effective because Shu doesn’t give a damn and it shows. Also, vampire strength makes those books on his hands look like nothing.

•Shu thinks the choir singing about God is irritating and would ditch The Holy Mass that everyone is required to go to.

•There was one time Ayato was in Shu’s regular hiding spot because of the paper planes and demanded Shu doesn’t rat him out.

•Shu ratted him out and Ayato received his punishment, Ayato was forced to pray to God in the school’s chapel with the priest watching over him making him recite his prayers word by word.

Reiji

•He was almost the same as he was in Ryoutei Academy if I’m being honest, a teacher’s pet.

•The only difference is that he gets less sleep because his brothers are more chaotic than usual and needs to add another subject into his schedule that was unfamiliar to him.

•It all paid off though.

•Christian education teachers adore him and told the students to follow in his footsteps towards the path of God. (Hilarious)

•In reality, he could care less about it and just perform well because knowing the Christian religion is now part of his perfect grades. He intends on maintaining that.

•He would rather chew on his porcelain teacups than have a grade less than an A.

•Other than that, he likes the school, thinks the rules are justified, and enjoyed his stay in Catholic school.

Subaru

•Ah, the teachers and the principal also have an eye on Subaru. He’s more violent than he was in Ryoutei.

•They even went as far as to call Subaru out of class so that he could talk to the school’s priest, thinking he was just another troubled teen that needs the Lord’s guidance.

•Subaru even had to go to the confession booth and talk to the same priest to reflect on his violent behavior. Only for the priest to hear Subaru telling him to fuck off and go to hell.

Priest: My dear boy, all this turmoil that you feel deep inside would lessen if you would open your heart to me and to Go-

Subaru: FUCK OFF

Priest: … you may go back to class for lunch. God bless 🙏

•Whenever Subaru does attempt to cooperate, he might confess some of his sins in incredible detail. The funny part is that no one would believe him even if he confessed to murdering, they even assumed he’s only another emo teen trying to be edgy. (They are only half right)

Subaru: Yeah, I killed someone and buried them in the rose garden, and they haunt me to this day.

Priest: Do tell us a proper confession. Lying is a sin, Subaru, God is watching over you.

Subaru: And the ground is solid, and I’m tempted to put you 6 feet under, old man.

•Subaru also fits every bad boy troupe that girls would think “I can fix him” or “Babe, look at me, this isn’t youuuu🥹🥹”. Until he smashes the walls…

•Ladies, please stay away from his fists within a 6 feet radius as there is a chance your face will turn into the ‘mystery meat’ that the lunch lady would serve you for your meals.

Author’s note: OMG I can’t believe I actually did this, lmaaaaaao.

* Ok but fr tho I would like to thank @summercreoulefanfictioner for laughing with me as we talked about all the situations we came up with.

* Thank you @nutaella-kookie for inspiring me to write in my Tumblr after not doing anything with it for years. I admire your works!

* Lastly, thank you @lovely-oh-so-lovelyyui for inspiring me on my first 2 posts on how shitty the Sakamakis and Mukamis would be as dads/husbands. It was the very thing that started it all!!!

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #ayato sakamaki #sakamaki ayato #kanato sakamaki #sakamaki kanato #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #shu sakamaki #sakamaki shu #reiji sakamaki #sakamaki reiji #subaru sakamaki #sakamaki subaru #sakamaki brothers

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ashpkat · 3 months

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dude like.

as a fic writer and AVID fan of mgst stuff I constantly get the urge to just rewrite the whole Golden Tower. all of it. I have several pages of plot points and character changes and endings and whatever I'll randomly begin gargling at during classes

for example, take: mostly canon compliant up until the part Alex was supposed to show up as a fuckin. bitch. and then just don't have him show up.

instead why not invest some more into Anastasia's actual character cause we do NOT get as much from her as I wanted and that woman needs to go full mother rage mode??? maybe have HER be another obstacle, but not in a big final boss battle way. more in a. yeah it's a battle but it's more destabilizing to call than anything and he and Aaron fight n shit and call tries to get Aaron to maybe get a new body and Aaron just doesn't want that. he wants to pass on cause you can't reverse death.

or maybe not even that, there's so much material that you can trust and change to make a more believable solid damn ending

and maybe the golden Tower is just more character resolutions and tying up loose ends and facing everything that's come to a conclusion cleanly, giving call and Tamara space to move on and for the world to be kinder and man there's just SO MUCH that could have been changed. done better.

Alastair lives btw the man didn't deserve his ,,, Devouring (??). poor little mechanic lad.

these were so cracked up on the shot i don't even have my note pages with me but like I COULD SEE MYSELF REWRITING THIS AND AS THE ONLY STILL ACTIVE MGST TUMBLR AND AO3 I JUST NEED TO KNOW

do you see my vision. are we vision together. fix tower gold. it's possible we just need to human up and do it bro (I am talking to myself this is self motivation)

GHTFHHUJ. floor

oh boy this was a doozy to decipher through my sleep deprived brain. also i can’t believe i was referred to as the only active magisterium ao3 and tumblr that’s so depressing (assuming that’s what u were doing)

and yes. i see the vision. i like the idea that tgt could’ve been used less as a ‘Cramming Every Single Plot Line We Can Into 250 Pages’ book and more as a way to see character resolution. (like callmara. excuse me but thats a trauma bond when i see one. this is the piper/jason of the mgst fandom except one got a satisfying ending that made sense and the other was a shit show in order to for the mc to have a love interest. tamara didn’t deserve to have her character stripped from her in order to be a love interest. jasper didn’t deserve to have his character growth completely stunted. call was um. call turned into generic mc. Aaron shouldn’t have come back. sigh. love me some Tragic Lovers. calron enthusiast here. i could go on and on)

also aalstair did not deserve to get devoured his ass would NOT sacrifice himself for the magisterium 🤣🤣🤣 his son SURE but nah not the whole magisterium. he would’ve scooped up call and they would’ve changed their names and moved to cuba or some shit idk.

and as an avid anastasia fan / mgst villain enthusiast YES YES YES. i need more crazy mom ana. give me toxic boy mom eliza madden. we could do it. we could team up. team up of the century. avengers assemble idfk i’ve never watched a marvel movie

#if ur serious. slide into my dms.#i go feral over mom anastasia #and toxic father figure joseph BUT THAT IS ANOTHER STORY specifically for my own AUs anyway #the daddy issues r showing in me #magisterium #the magisterium

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hunters-lvr · 1 year

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are you serious?

hunter x masc!reader

(1/?)

where hunter is forced to tutor one of the laziest students he's ever met.

(normal school au, meaning no possesed hunter but they're still trying to get to the boiling isles. the boy is barely figuring out how to use a fucking phone)

masterlist!

a loud door slam distracted him, followed by two people walking in, more so one being dragged.

the principal walked in carrying a boy by his backpack, wearing a big ass hoodie and some sweatpants with hightops and headphones/earbuds. hunter swears on flapjack that those mans eyebags could rival his when he was still working with the emperor.

"i caught your little deviant skipping again, please keep him in check, you're the reason he's still here."

hunter always had a weird intrest in the boy who's only been in class 3 times in the past month, he watched as the tired male dragged himself into his seat, the one next to him.

he watched as (f/n) shrugged his bag off and got into his seat, as (f/n) caught him staring he turned to look at the blond.

he gave him an eyeroll and put his head into his arms slowly drifting off to sleep on his desk.

'who does he think he is? that was so rude? no wonder he's never here.' hunter huffed as he shit talked (f/n) in his head.

towards the end of class the teacher spoke up, "hunter and (f/n) will you two come up here?"

the blond stood up, while the boy next to him slowly sat up straight from his desk and wiped his mouth.

"hunter, you have the best grades in class," hunter beamed hearing the praise. "now, (f/n), undoubtedly you will fail the semester if you don't raise your grades."

now with that (f/n) swore his heart dropped to his stomach and out his ass. bro can't fail? he'll get murdered.

"due to that, i am willing to give you extra credit, that's IF," she accentuated, "you start trying."

the woman went on explaining as (f/n) was pissed, he kinda blanked out until he actually heard what was going on.

"hunter, i'll need you to tutor (f/n)," the blond let out a groan mentally, but sheepishly smiled at the teacher,

"of course miss, i'll do my best." (f/n) scoffed at this seeing the boy kiss up to the teacher, "word." he yawned covering his mouth and the teacher dismissed them two.

as they walked awkwardly next to eachother,"so, can i have your number?" hunter asked smiling, trying to put up a nice facade.

(f/n) nodded tiredly, pulling out his phone and pressing onto the phone app putting it to the keypad. the blond typed in his number, and sped off to his next class.

'what is up with him,' hunter grumbled in his head, before his phone went off.

hunter: HEY. IM YOUR TUTOR.

(f/n): thanks 👍

'lmao im changing this bitches contact,' (f/n) smirked at his phone changing the display name to 'ass kisser ‼️'

ass kisser‼️: WHEN CAN YOU START

(f/n): i guess i can start today lmao, you like talkin in caps im guessing??

ass kisser‼️: I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF

the more sleep deprived one smiled at his phone, 'he's funny.'

(f/n): i'll show you later dude dw

hunter stares at the phone, 'the hell is a dw?'. as he powered it off he looked at his reflection on the little black screen. maybe it would be nice trying to get to know someone like him.

(f/n) walks into the library, stretching and scanning the book filled room looking for the blond. he spotted him reading some nerdy ass comic with sparkles in his eye.

"yo, hunter!" the boy smiled as he gained a glare from librarian. he walked over to the table, pulling a chair and setting it down.

"hey, you know, this is a library so you can't really be yelling."

"oh fr? i totally didn't know that," hunter was suprised that his eyes weren't stuck in the back of his head considering how much he rolled them.

"whatever, just get out all your missing work."

hunter's eyes widened as he pulled a folder that was practically falling apart out of his bag.

"are you serious."

---

first time ever writing 😰 enjoy pls

#hunter noceda #toh golden guard #golden guard x reader #male reader #aschoolcliche #itsmyfirsttimewritingbenice #hunter toh #hunter x reader

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hualianff · 2 years

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Roomies 2 《1》

HC and HX begin the ultimate prank war and YY becomes the accidental victim of it 75% of the time.

After being smacked with flour, splattered with paint, attacked with a nerf gun (nipple & crotch shots), etc, it’s clear YY will never know peace again as long as he lives with these two bird-brained fools.

Paranoid in his own damn home…what a shame. For compensation, YY pays a little less than the other two when it comes to the rent. It’s the least HC and HX could do.

But now, as YY stands in front of the toilet with piss all over the floor, he briefly wonders if it’s best to move out entirely.

See, HX is an incredibly light sleeper. A noise as subtle as a floorboard creaking WILL wake him up, which is why he looks like death 24/7. (HC’s words, not YY’s, though YY doesn’t disagree.)

The thing that irks HX the most is stoopid HC going pee at fucking 3 AM and interrupting his beauty sleep! Cut to HX discreetly putting plastic wrap on the toilet seat at midnight, thinking it’ll be a good lesson for HC to think twice before pissing in the middle of the night.

Who would've thought that instead of HC, YY - who had had too much water before bed that day - would end up playing watersports with the godforsaken, plastic-covered toilet.

That night, YY made sure to wake both HX and HC up by yelling at them for involving him in their childish rivalry.

Still, the pranks continue.

Once, Hualian came back to an apartment with the lights turned off. Before either of them could reach for the light switch, a loud battlecry followed by the lights blasting on revealed a man dressed in all black, donning a white mask and a nerf gun as he charges at the couple-

Except XL is in the front. And he shrieks bloody mary while socking the mysterious intruder in the jaw!!

The man instantly drops the nerf gun and groans, sounding suspiciously like HX…

“Fuck. That fucking hurt,” indeed HX scowls, backing away. XL gasps in realization.

“Ah! He Xuan, it’s you?”

Standing behind XL, HC’s eye is the size of a whole ass saucer for a split second. Then, the dude just bursts out laughing. While XL steps forward to remove the mask and inspect the damage, HC makes eye contact with an exacerbated YY and begins choking on his spit.

However, in the middle of his giggle fit, HC is berated by a smol boyfriend.

“San Lang, don’t just stand there. Get me a wet washcloth!” XL demands with serious eyes.

HC: 👄👁

HC, still trying to catch his breath from cackling at HX’s misfortune, takes his sweet time with that washcloth. But a pressed “San Laaang!” coming from XL is enough to get him moving.

Meanwhile, XL gently holds HX’s face in his hands, apologizing for punching him. HX is more than aware that this was a consequence of his own actions, and tells XL as such. And shit, yeah, XL trained in martial arts growing up. That explains the dark, purplish bruise already beginning to form on HX’s jaw.

“Gege can let go of the dumbass now. I can take it from here,” HC’s saccharine voice chirps.

HX suddenly becomes hyper-aware of XL’s hands still cradling his jaw and a certain someone’s glare burning a hole through his head.

***

XL is naturally a very touchy person. After getting permission from them each time, he often hugs HX and YY upon greeting and leaving. All three residents of that apartment are touch-deprived. Plus, it’s not like they go around hugging each other so casually before.

But the way XL tucks so easily under their arms, arms wrapping around their middle and squeezing…how can they not love it? So every time XL opens his arms in invitation, every one of them swoops in for a warm hug.

HC is proud on XL’s behalf. He can tell by his roommate’s fidgeting hands that they secretly cherish XL’s hugs. Which they should! HC knows his boyfriend gives the best hugs! And the best kisses. And-

Not that those fools will ever get the chance to confirm.

***

XL often stays the night at their apartment because he ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP. On the couch watching a movie while tucked into HC’s side. At the dining room table working on his laptop. Or he simply makes a beeline for HC’s bed as soon as he enters their apartment.

He’s a tired bby.

Whenever XL falls asleep, HC carries him to bed while HX walks behind holding XL’s backpack and YY brings the cup of tea XL was drinking. A group effort!

Once XL is settled into HC’s comfy bed, everyone lingers for a second to admire how cute and peaceful XL looks while asleep. A content whimper from XL breaks HC out of his trance, forcing him to do a double take upon realizing his roommates are in the same predicament.

Smack!

HC slaps their chests and pushes them away, all while HX and YY whisper-shout their complaints.

(XL sneakily smothers his smile into HC’s pillow.)

Sometimes, hours later, XL will wake up but HC still isn’t in bed with him! No boyfriend to cuddle him and provide warmth! >:(

Thus, burrito-blanket-XL wanders out of the room and demands HC come to bed soon.

Everyone once again coos at how adorable he is.

***

There’s no Hualian without Hualian PDA.

HC will be walking around shirtless with sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips, and XL will stop everything he’s doing and just stare. Shamelessly.

HX and YY are DONE.

(YY: *passes a napkin to XL*

XL: “thanks! but what for?”

HX: “for the drool”

XL stammers out an excuse of “I DO NOT DROOL” and HC simply chuckles as he hugs XL from behind.

HC, kissing XL’s cheek: “I don’t mind if it’s Gege.”)

If the roomie trio is out in public and someone attempts to flirt with or ask HC out, HX and YY are fully prepared to step in and weaponize the harsh reality.

“There’s absolutely no way you stand a chance, not against Gege,” HX whispers through a cough.

“You’re trying to ask out an anchored man,” YY deadpans.

***

HX jokingly to HC: “If you and Xie Lian ever break up, I’m picking him.”

HC slugs HX’s on the shoulder for that one.

HC on the outside: “fuck you”

HC on the inside: “if Gege and I ever break up?” 😭

Later, in HC’s room...

HC testing out how much XL loves him cause that left him feeling insecure: “Gege, would you still love me if I was a worm? 🥺🥺🥺”

XL: “San La- what in- you-“

HC, borderline crying: “ANSWER ME 😭😭😭”

XL: “I- you know I don’t particularly like worms-“

HC: “IM JUST CHOPPED MEAT ARENT I??”

XL: “WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?”

HC: “PLEASE DONT BREAK UP WITH ME IM BEGGING YOU”

XL: 😧

XL: 🥺🥺 “YOU THINK WE’LL BREAK UP!?!?”

HC IN A PANIC: “GEGE MARRY ME”

XL: “SAN LANG!”

And with a firm slap to the chest - courtesy of a panicked XL - HC’s forced to calm down and actually THINK before he speaks.

HC: “OUCH NOT THE TITS”

YY AND HX IN THEIR ROOMS: 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

***

Sometimes, XL arrives at the apartment before HC. He has a key and everything - the unofficial fourth roommate.

And at this moment, another mouth competing for food.

YY and XL are currently staring at the lone piece of pepperoni pizza. XL turns to give YY the full puppy eyes. YY clenches his teeth and purposefully avoids XL’s face.

YY on the inside: “I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST 😭 I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST”

HX, just passing by: “why are you both staring at a piece of pizza…gimme” *snatches it and walks away*

XL and YY sharing a look, nodding at each other.

XL catapults himself onto HX’s back while shouting to YY: “GET THE PIZZA”

HX BEING STRANGLED BY XL: “WHAT THE FCUK”

YY jabbing HX’s stomach for good measure: “GOT IT”

When HC and his comedic timing pushes the front door open, everyone freezes. XL has a foot on HX’s back -who is dying on the floor - and YY clutches the single pizza slice in triumph.

HC: 🤨

HC: “is that my leftover pizza?”

All eyes turn towards the pizza slice, which already has one bite missing.

XL: “San Lang, you always tell me ‘Gege, what’s mine is yours.’ This holds true, yes?”

HC: “yes, of course”

XL snatching the pizza away from YY: “give it here, sucker”

HC: “what on earth goes on”

Everyone’s stomach growls.

HC: “why didn’t you just order food then?”

YY and HX: *mental facepalm*

XL: “nom nom pizza 🥰”

***

w/ @no-one-says-hi

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian #xie lian #hua cheng #yin yu #he xuan #modern au #cerdrabbes #slightly crack #dysfunctional dynamics

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darkfinch · 2 years

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Okay I have to ask , because I remember you saying before that Uncle Rabbit kind of sucked sometimes with Quinn , does he suck ? Because I'm enjoying his cat whisperering and I don't want to find out later that he sucks ....

sigh. sigh. yeah, this is a rough question, i kind of alluded to it a little in the original nonsense, but. yeah rabbit's been known to suck unfortunately, tldr, Yes

HERE'S THE THING: training kids to kill people is.....bad! it's bad! no matter how Visibly Fond/Likeable/Fun these people are, the shit they're doing is. bad. actively bad. it sucks

like, the whole babusia training system is, at its core, a horrible cycle of just...genuinely caring about a kid and wanting to Prepare them for the shit you Know is out there, and then exposing them to the horrible shit in the process of preparing them. like, teaching this kid how to fight (and run and hide and kill) so that if someone ever tries to hurt them, they'll survive—and then as a result (eventually a feature and not a bug) funnelling them directly into a career that'll traumatise if not injure or kill them.

good intentions inexcusable results

so rabbit is like. unwillingly, miserably fond of quinn (who is sweet and mischievous and determined to learn). and rabbit is put in charge of preparing him to be sent out on his own. preparing him for things that might happen to him (for things that happened to rabbit, for things that really really fucked rabbit up). he's got three years to teach quinn how not to die

and rabbit maybe makes some Choices during this process

[i'm dancing around this because it's one thing writing it out in a fic (which i've done, which is the origin story for all of this nonsense), with quinn's very matter-of-fact narration, and another thing entirely describing it in a tumblr post, which is a weird vibe, but like. yeah rabbit absolutely messed quinn up structurally from the age of fourteen onwards

content warning for child abuse & like....uhhh post-murder body cleanup ahead here bud. guns? harm, harming]

so, here's the reality of the situation: rabbit teaches quinn how not to get hit by sparring with him, rabbit teaches quinn how to dismember a body via demonstration in a hotel bathroom on his second ever job. he's fourteen. rabbit—watching him snore on the couch and not so much as twitch at the sound of footsteps—teaches quinn to be aware of his surroundings while sleeping by regularly sneaking up on him, pointing a gun to his head, and counting how many seconds it takes for him to wake up.

……….and, like, that's horrible, right. that's fucking terrible, the gun's not loaded but he knows it's terrible, and maybe quinn doesn't know it's terrible, but you and i and rabbit know that these are not good things to do to a kid

the only reason quinn's never been Afraid of him is that every single time, rabbit told him what they'd be doing first, and prepared him for it. because maybe rabbit didn't get that. nothing's done out of anger, nothing's done maliciously, nothing's done to Teach Him A Lesson;

it's all "in three years/two years/a year, you'll be going through this on your own, and i won't be there. you want to be this? here's what hunger feels like and how to work through it. we’re doing it together. here's how to keep your hands steady when you're freezing your ass off. here's sleep deprivation, here's getting back to a safehouse with someone following you, here's being stranded in the middle of the woods. please don't die please don't die please don't die"

so like, i'm never going to Excuse it, rabbit absolutely historically has Sucked with quinn, but its also a miserable understandable kind of suck where i'm still sighing at him like. fuck, i want the best for you, dude. there's a cycle and he's the only one in it that can See it but he's still trapped in it. he's watching the same story happen fifty times and knowing how it ends, and screaming abt it to himself.

anyway i am Very sorry if this ruins the rabbit enjoyment (but also like. hi, they teach kids how to kill people, it's not great from the jump unfortunately)

#finchtalks #child abuse cw #hi. rabbit and quinn and rabbit and babusia are complicated for a lot of reasons and this is the big one #finch brand quinn lore #finchlore

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burntblueberrywaffles · 4 months

Text

My 2023 recap (but it's through all my favorites posts I've made this year)

Part 2! (part 1 here)

Aug 14th

Me @ the prequels haters:

Aug 14th

Aug 18th

He did it for me specifically and I thank him every day ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Aug 20th

Me progressively spiraling in my latest sw posts:

Aug 26th

Discovering you’re ace is wild cause like, you guys were serious when you said you wanted to fuck that character/celebrity?

We weren’t just exaggerating and being silly?? UH???

Aug 27th

Watching the end of ROTS: a moodboard

Aug 30th

Having a R2d2 and C3po cameo might be the laziest form of Star Wars fan service but you know what that shit work my dumbass goes “OMG it’s R2 and threepio 🥺🥺🥺” everytime

Aug 31st

Tumblr staff be like: somehow they’re still using desktop, lets add an evil clown

Aug 31st

“I want the main character to end up with this person, even though I hate one of them who sucks and doesn’t deserve to end up with such a good-”

My brother in Christ call me crazy but I don’t think you actually love this ship. Read an x reader or x OC fanfic at this point jfc.

Sept 4th

Me sending a feedback report to complain every time tumblr makes another idiotic change:

Sept 10th

I’m always so scared to assemble it

Sept 15th

I love doing research, I am not tearing my hair out (lying)

Sept 21st

Im so good at forgetting my blorbo is a child murderer you wouldn’t even believe

Sept 29th

Lowest luminosity setting is not low enough why is my iPhone a fucking beacon of light burning my retina with the force of a thousand suns

Sept 30th

Me every few months:

Oct 4th

Oct 18th

Me reading fanfic titles on ao3 after first becoming a Taylor Swift fan:

Oct 28th

My boy was so sleep deprived this would have fixed him.

Oct 29th

Can’t believe you hate on my ship just because it’s toxic, unhealthy and has disastrous consequences for everyone around them. Grow up. 🙄

Nov 11th

I have beef with TCW Anakin

Nov 14th

When people go “ew why would you be into this ship when it’s toxic and problematic” and I’m just

Sometimes you don’t need another reason than "it makes my brain go brrrrr” it’s fiction babes it doesn’t have to be good or healthy ❤️

Nov 15th

I thought “oh it would be fun to randomly send a kitten picture to this one mutual” and then I went insane 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ sorry about that besties

(this isnt a good post but since i'm making this as a 2023 recap I want to commemorate that time I sent kitties to all the beloved mutuals LOL)

Nov 18th

I love these “what do you most associate with [insert US state]” polls bc my non-American ass is always:

Baby I literally have no idea what you’re talking about ❤️

Nov 17th

hate when people are like “why would Padme be into cringefail Anakin it’s so unrealistic”

Like, um, CLEARLY she saw his pathetic weepy eyes and immediately decided she wanted to fuck that. What’s hard to understand.

Nov 20th

I think when you break up with someone their memory of you should be wiped men in black style thank you

Nov 22nd

Philosphy class be like

Nov 25th

Me when the known mass murderer starts murdering

#you’re telling me my genocidal babygirl is in fact genocidal???

Nov 26th

The thing about philosophy class is that most of these dudes you have to learn about just suck.

“Ohhhh humans only use each other and every relationship is only built on the potential advantages you can get from it” So your heart has never exploded thinking about how much you love your friends?? Sounds like a you problem.

Nov 28th

Snow being judgmental and having a constant sense of superiority…. brother you can’t even buy a new shirt HUMBLE YOURSELF

Nov 28th

Me starting the Ballad of songbirds and snakes and reading snow’s inner monologue: this guy sucks lmao I will NOT be rooting for him and Lucy Gray to be together 🙅‍♀️

Snow:

Me: oh goddamn it

Dec 1st

“I liked this thing before it was cool!“ Boohoo you’re not special. You just stumbled upon it before other people, congratulations.

"I still like this thing after it was cool, now that public opinion has shifted from being overly positive to considering it bad and cringe” now that takes strength. Courage. Who I aspire to be.

Dec 3rd

Snow: is always nice to Sejanus, helps him distribute food to the tributes, offers him a seat, gives him advice, CALLS HIM HIS FRIEND, save his life-

Also Snow: wtf this bitch thinks we’re friends????

#babyboy you are so stupid

Dec 4th

Me when I see my friend sadposting: I will smother you with kisses and love. Do you need me to kill someone btw

Also me, when I’m sad posting and friends send me encouragements: Friend??? 🥺 Friend cares about me??? 🥺🥺 friend wants to cheer me up? 🥺🥺🥺

Dec 7th

Tumblr rn feels like a landlord trying to make its tenant leave by not fixing shit and cutting utilities, but unfortunately for everyone involved, I am a rat

Dec 10th

No but seriously no one should try being tumblr famous, this website is for one thing only, and that’s having a silly time with your friends and mutuals 😤

Dec 12th

If your mutuals don’t say hi in the tags when they reblog one of your popular posts from someone else then what is it all for

Dec 12th

“Ew liking unhealthy ships is so toxic-”

“Actually toxic ship are INTERESTING unlike those boring healthy ships that have no flavour-”

Meanwhile me, who can appreciate and enjoy any ship dynamics:

Dec 18th

I’m like an old man shouting at clouds except I’m a 20 years old trying to make everyone listen to La Lumière by pomme asdagshdjfk

#I don’t think anyone is buying what I’m selling but I shall keep trying 😔

Dec 20th

Snow when being friendly to Sejanus results in becoming friends with Sejanus

#bro was really like: you’re telling me the person I’ve been treating well and interacting with regularly thinks I’m his friend??? #and that everyone else also think we’re friends???? #like yeah bby that is how friendship works ❤️

#burntblueberrywaffles #end of the year recap #2023 recap

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dzpenumbra · 11 months

Text

5/23/23

Today wasn't half bad. Low key, as usual. Got sucked into RP streams again.

I did a short but very intense yoga routine today... that I actually had to tap out of and take a breather. My shoulder kinda collapsed on me. I was supposed to do a side plank after a bunch of other plank-related stuff and it just... wouldn't hold. And that hasn't happened in a while. I'm not surprised, and I didn't really kick myself over it. It was just a bump in the road.

I've been getting more and more out of shape, and I don't feel like I can keep up with it. I'm frustrated about it because of how foreign it is to me. I've never had to deal with this, and... honestly, it's the fatigue that gets me. I have a lot of active exercise things I love to do. But I can't get myself to do them when I'm sleep deprived or depressed. And... that's a very chronic issue. So yeah, that's just something that haunts me and gets under my skin.

I'm gonna get to bed early tonight. Like... really soon. Just reminding myself to keep this short. I am tired, so I need to take advantage of that and use that momentum to inch my bedtime back. This 7AM shit just doesn't work. For some reason... 5AM and 7AM look the same for me as bedtimes. Like... both are way too late. By that, I mean the difference between 3AM and 5AM seems much bigger than 5AM and 7AM. Because once the sun comes up... it's just like... whatever. So... my goal is to be in bed and ready to sleep before 5. So... I'll keep this brief.

I added thin layers of Mod Podge to the yellow beads today. They look really good, actually. I think if I do thin layers, I don't have to sand them, really. Though... I'm not sure if it really evens out with how long I spend working on them. I'll see. But yeah, progress there. And I got myself to go out for a walk. I went out at like 8PM. It was well into sunset, I skipped the shower and everything. My primary goal was to get gravel for my mini garden thing I wanted to make in the terracotta pot I got. I got anxious about it again. Twice.

I got to the gravel road and there was a dude walking his dog and on his phone. So I went the other way and looped around, hoping to give him enough time to pass in a different location. But he did the most half-assed walk I've ever seen, it was like 50 feet down the road and back, on his phone the whole time. That poor dog. :( I actually ended up passing him, he started walking really slowly. And I felt really self-conscious with the idea of passing him, then taking off my backpack, pulling out a ziplock bag and shoveling gravel into it with my hands. Call me crazy, that made me a bit insecure. So I went to the parking lot at the top of the path and pulled my phone out and watched the stream I was listening to... and pretended I was scrolling something. And when he passed by, I went back to the path and filled the bag.

In the end, I wasn't really that anxious about it, and I got it done. What did make me anxious was later when I was walking back to my building... there was a person standing in a corner next to where the path goes under the bridge... and it was like... a cliche scene from a movie where someone would mug you. And I was wearing my glasses, so I couldn't see any fucking details of this person at all. So I speed-walked under that damn bridge. But besides that, I wasn't really anxious at all.

In fact, I was pretty damn confident today. I woke up to a message from my therapist who apologized profusely for the late message that he promised me. He was going to send me some custom crafted affirmations - mantras, if you prefer that terminology - to help combat my reflexive anxiety. Because it seems like a lot of it surrounds... a lack of confidence, an inferiority complex trained into me by people around me most of my life. I read a post from someone on here recently, a heavy confessional one, that sounded a lot like that too. So... if you're out there... and you get the whole... feeling like a fraud and you'll never be a "real adult" and all that nonsense... you're not alone. In fact, anyone that grew up being taught these things... you're not alone. There is not one definition of success. And I promise you... I am telling myself this as much as I'm telling this to you... if you follow someone else's definition of success, you will with almost absolute certainty end up miserable and disappointed. I'm really sorry, it's dark, it's heavy, it's disorienting, I know... but it's true. If I - as an artist, musician and poet - took self-help advice from a Navy SEAL? I mean... I'm not saying there aren't things that I could retrofit to be useful in my life, I'm not saying there's nothing to learn; only a Sith deals in absolutes. I'm saying... if I... as an artist/musician/poet... follow the step-by-step plan on how to be a happy, successful, "productive" adult crafted by a Navy SEAL... I would be miserable. Even if I succeeded. Because I would be building a life I don't even want. I would be laboring and slaving away to build someone else's life, crafted around someone else's goals, interests and desires.

What's my point with this? Get to know yourself. And learn to love yourself. Get past the "that's lame" reflexes there and try to understand that you get one fucking ride on this chunk of rock hurtling through space, and do everything you can to pursue the life that you desire. However you can. I wish society was crafted with more focus on that rather than... basically industrialized farming people and turning them into laborers... Ugh, politics aside... Step 1 - get to know yourself, what you love, what you want to do, what makes you happy. Step 2 - work towards being that person as much as possible. That's what I'm advocating.

My day started with engaging my brain in a form of focused meditation through a mantra. "It is safe for me to be my authentic self." And yeah, after years... a lifetime, really... of having my authentic self either hidden, emotionally beaten or shamed... It often does not feel safe being my authentic self. And that is the world's biggest understatement - I have had panic attacks that felt like I would be burned at the stake at a witch trial for being myself. But what I haven't really been able to convince my subconscious of lately... is that... the primary person in my life that is currently holding me back from being my authentic self... is me. Out of fear. Out of anxiety. Out of insecurity. Out of self-protection.

But today... I did much better with it. I still don't feel safe... in general. Which is a thing. But I felt a lot better just being... myself. My authentic self. My true self. The Me that I am behind closed doors, the Me that is... here. I felt more okay laughing at jokes in the stream in my earbuds as I walked in public, and not being worried about judgmental people I may pass by. And it felt... much more like home. It reminded me of times in the past when I was much more shameless (in a good way).

This is going on longer than planned, but I wanted to mention one more thing that was directly related. I watched a streamer that I really respect... that has been RPing for like... a decade? Who has streamed a ridiculous amount in her life... I watched her have an anxiety attack. A real anxiety attack. Live, on stream, in front of thousands of viewers. Because her character, who is a Captain in the PD, was going in for a final interview for Chief of Police. And she was legit having very real anxiety about it, audibly, and narrating it. And the support and empathy coming from chat (myself included) was so unbelievably heartwarming! And she nailed it! I didn't see the other interviews so I have no idea if she got the job, but she... she really deserves it. I am so fucking emotionally invested in this server, good lord! XD

So yeah, big theme of like... combatting and overcoming anxiety today. At very least, confronting. And what I gave to her as advice? Because she was talking about physical symptoms. I said "your body is just sensing something potentially unsafe, it's a biophysical reaction, you're gonna be okay." Something like that, I don't have the direct quote. I found it interesting that... that is what I decided to say. I don't know. I've been so deeply convinced in the power of narrative and will and choice, trying to dismantle and navigate the conscious thoughts, which is a crucial part of all of it... but like... this part of the nervous system is super reflexive. And it takes time and deliberate work to train your subconscious mind that things like this are safe. That you can handle it. And confidence helps a ton with that.

Alright, enough therapy talk. My plan is pretty much out the window, but I can still get to bed earlier than usual. Good day today, we'll see what tomorrow has in store. Have a good night!

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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ennaku-sirri-da · 1 year

Text

Jimbit (Jimothan X Habit) HCs courtesy of me and Mika [Part 2]

OK so

@zeromet FOR YOU!!! (AGAIN YAY) [Plain text: For you!!! (Again yay)]

Also clarification here that sometime Kamal and Habit ‘open’ their relationship and Trencil is generally OK with his partner having other romantic partners AKA OK with polyamory. I guess they all worked it out ha

--At the end of a really good spaghetti western

Habit is doing the celebration stuff and so is jim and he straight asks jim if they can kiss ( I guess Trencil and Kamal would know by now that these two are gay for each other. They don’t really do anything they just let it happen naturally)

And Jimothan is so caught up in the moment he says yes and they kiss for way too long and then the credits come on and they panic

Habit immediately drives home with sleep-deprived nightmare-moon Kamal

Jimothan immediately offs all the lights and rolls into bed at 3 AM

---Damn spaghetti western night goes on late!!

Imagine Jimothan and Habby watching the sun rise...sleeping on each other.

Habit uses Jim like a pillow so that he doesn’t squish him. He’d be so gentle with Jim because dude’s a noodle. Thats also just how Habit is and it flusters Jimbo!!!

--Anywaysss somewhere after The Kiss(TM), Jim and Habit just admit they like each other and then they date because they’re both straightforward like that ha.

--When Jim and Habit just start out as a couple its real awkward but they both have patience so its fine. Lotsa awkward laughs and scares. Maybe kamal and trencil needed to help wingman a little.

--Habit purpousefully loses their arm fights to Jimbo just to see the joy on his face and hear him laugh

--Jimothan calls Habit Tamil nicknames( My HC is that Jim and Pars are tamil like me!!) BUT[plain text: But] He doesn’t tell him what they mean or tells Habit a very unsapped version

From Kanamma to Kanmachan...

Kanamma means a woman\girl who is the apple of your eye! Machan means brother-in-law, but it is also casual slang for calling your guy-friends.

Kanmachan is an entirely made-up mashup by me LMAO Machan of my eye.

Habit calls Jimbo his yeehawty

--They go on horseback riding dates( Borrowing Lulia’s horses cuz that girl is rich!)

old guys helping each other up on horses....🥺(pleading emoji)

....AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE HORSE OMG [Plain text: And there was only one horse omg]

(Lulia lies and says the others are too tired rn so theres only one they can ride)

(I owe you my life Lulia)

Habit is huge and Jimbo is short so Habit has to lift Jim up but only after Jim tries and fails himself

Jimothan almost falls and dies BTW but Habit catches him

[ Gif description: A man catches a woman in a dip like a dance. end GIF]

Unfortunately both Jim and Habit’s backs start hurting because of it and they roll around in the grass a bit for pain relief

Its incredibly romantic

the horse rolls its eyes but what does it know of romance hm?

--Habit: "bay-bee our loaf defies the lawls of physics 🥺(pleading emoji) " [translated: baby our love defies the laws of physics]

Just like a Kollywood movie!!

[ GIF: Scene from a movie. A guy drives a cycle and a big truck swerves to avoid him, bumping off of something hard and flying away at the end. end ID]

Big Habit X Jimbo vibes. I bet Jimothan has a big decorated truck. Its like his third kid( Nat is the second because Bloody Mary--Jim X Trencil are married! )

Habits like Jimothan can I😳(flustered emoji)sit beside you in your truck (*Pushes Parsley away)

Parsley is buff as hell so he could probably beat Habit up but he’s too tired so he just gets thrown to the back anyway.

[GIF: Scene from a movie. Police guy gets out of a moving car in slow motion and points a gun into the distance. end GIF]

Jimothan doing stupid shit to impress Habit^

‘‘Look I am a ‘Bad Ass’ like the Kids say’‘

Habits clapping and giggling and cheering for him while Pars already has his insurance on the phone.

More Jimbo stunts.

#headcanons #jimbit #jimothan botch #dr habit #my friends hcs #flashing tw #police mention tw #jic!#gif #s4m #smile for me game

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kingexpl0sionmurder · 3 years

Text

Mutual Misunderstandings - Kirishima Eijirou - Smut

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Pairing: Kirishima Eijirou / F!Reader Rating: 18+ (Contains smut) Words: 5,866 Warnings: Quirkless AU, Aged up characters (they adulty adults!), unprotected vaginal sex, oral (male receiving), very very light choking, reader has a bit of a size kink. AN: Another entry for the BNHAREM collab! This time we’re writing roommates, and I somehow managed to snag Kirishima! I’m super excited for all of the fics coming this time around, so make sure you click on the link below and read some of the other submissions!

This is my first time writing Kirishima and I’m super nervous about it. I’ve always really loved him because he’s just the best boy and he’s so brave and strong and gentle and I just want to cuddle him into oblivion. I also firmly believe he’s going to be a huge tank of a man when he gets older and I’m going with that vision of him here.

Collab Masterlist is HERE My Masterlist is HERE Buy me a KoFi if you’re feeling froggy HERE

------

You stood in your living room, your jaw hanging open, staring at him in shock. Kirishima had a similar look on his face, the two of you pointing at each other like that Spider-Man meme.

“You mean to tell me you’ve had a crush on me this whole time?” You finally choked out, blinking owlishly at your best friend and roommate. “I thought you liked Mina!”

Kirishima sputtered, shaking his head. “No way! She’s my friend, we’ve known each other since middle school, you know that.” He moved to cross his arms across his broad chest. “And anyway, there’s no way you like me, you have a crush on Bakugou!”

There was no way this was happening right now. “No! I don’t like Bakugou like that! He’s a pain in my fucking ass, and I think about murdering him on a daily basis.” Facepalming, you groaned. “Are we really this stupid?”

How did you end up here?

It started back in your first year of college.

The parties and the seemingly endless studying had become a comfortable routine for you. So what if you were sleep-deprived and living on cup noodles? You were getting your higher education and ready to tackle the real world head-on in just a few short years.

A pipe dream, but still.

You had your best friend Shinsou by your side and a customer loyalty card at the campus coffee shop and everything was right with the world. You’d even managed to get paired up with Hitoshi’s (sort of) boyfriend for an English project, which was a better outcome than what you could have hoped for, not having to work with some rando on something that would be a large chunk of your grade.

Kaminari had suggested that you work on it at his place with the promise of Doritos, and you agreed. Who were you to turn down snacks? Poor college students needed those cheese dusted carbs to survive.

The Upsilon Alpha fraternity was one of the best and most popular on campus, and at first, you found it almost laughable that Kaminari was a member. At first glance, he seemed like a total space cadet stoner who didn’t belong in college, much less as a member of such an esteemed frat. However, after getting to know him, you knew that he was most definitely all of those things, but he was also insanely smart when it counted and kept above average grades in his classes (except for math, but with him being a bisexual disaster human, it came with the territory).

You had made some decent progress on your project after about an hour. The outline was done, and you were discussing how you would be presenting it since you had a choice between a written essay or a PowerPoint presentation.

Without warning, the kitchen door flew open, the doorknob slamming into the wall behind it.

“Well, the quiet was nice while it lasted, huh?” Kaminari blinked, completely unfazed by the commotion, leaning back in his chair and eating a chip.

Your gaze flitted over to the man who was glaring at the two of you from the doorway, his hands shoved in his pockets. Blonde hair that looked so much like an explosion was sticking up in every direction on his head, and you felt his red eyes trained on you as he took in the room. “What are you doing, Dunceface?”

Kaminari didn’t answer right away, raising his eyebrow and grinning at the new arrival. “Hey, Kacchan.”

If the bulging vein in the man’s forehead was any indication, Kaminari had said the wrong thing. He opened his mouth, and you assumed it was to threaten your project partner, but he was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder from behind.

“Bakubro, be nice. Kami has company.”

The man that appeared beyond the angry pomeranian took your breath away. He was...big. Like, his shoulders were so wide you wondered how he was going to fit through the doorway. And he was tall, with spiked red hair making him look even taller, big red eyes and sharp teeth, and the most beautiful smile you’d ever laid eyes on.

Blonde and grumpy grumbled, moving aside to let giant and red into the room, who then turned that megawatt million-dollar smile on you, and you tried your best not to stare at his biceps or the way his shirt clung to his chest.

Was it hot in here all of a sudden?

“Hi! I’m Kirishima, and this ray of sunshine is Bakugou, we’re some of Kaminari’s frat brothers!” He held out his hand for you to shake, and you smiled up at him, taking his giant hand in yours. The size of his fingers sent your brain reeling, and you knew you needed to get yourself under control before you started moaning out loud in front of him.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you! Kami and I are just working on an English project.” You explained, grinning back up at him, trying to keep the lust off of your face. You didn’t want to look like some kind of freak.

He took his hand back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, you must be Shinsou’s friend! Kami told us you’d be coming over, I forgot about that.” He turned, watching as Bakugou slunk over to the fridge and opened the door. “Don’t let us bother you, we’re just grabbing some water before we head to the gym.”

Kaminari snorted. “Dude, if you get any beefier we’re going to need to remodel the doors so you can fit through them.”

Kirishima turned as red as his hair, glancing at you, before he grinned at his friend. “If I stop, no one will be able to bench press you and Sero at the same time at the next party.”

“Bro, that is my favorite party trick of yours.” He sat up straighter, looking forlorn at the thought of it not happening anymore. “Okay, fine, go to the gym.”

Bakugou grumbled from behind him something that sounded like “I could bench press four of you if I wanted to.”

“Of course you could, buddy.” Kirishima slung his arm over Bakugou’s shoulder. “Okay, we’re out of here. It was nice to meet you, Y/N. Good luck with your project!”

Bakugou grunted and shoved a water bottle at Kirishima, shrugging out from under his arm and leaving the room. Kirishima smiled at you when you said goodbye, hurrying after his sour-faced friend and leaving you and Kaminari to your work.

“Your housemates are...interesting.” You managed, still trying to wrap your head around the red-haired man.

Kaminari snorted. “Kirishima is the walking definition of sunshine, and Bakugou is...well, he takes some getting used to. But he’s not a bad guy.”

You just hummed, chewing on your pen absently. “Can he actually bench press you?”

“Fuck yeah. He does it one-handed. You should come to our next party and see for yourself.”

Keeping your face as neutral as possible, you nodded. “Maybe I can convince Shinsou to come with me.” Wiggling your eyebrows at Kaminari when he blushed, you turned back to the notebook that lay open in front of you. “Come on, let’s figure this out so we can talk more about your intentions with my best friend.”

You did show up to the next UA frat party, Shinsou in tow. Your purple-haired bestie was grumbling the whole way, his hands shoved in his pockets. It didn’t stop him from making fun of how short your skirt was and teasing you about how you’d done nothing but talk about Kirishima since the day you’d met him.

“He’s like Clifford the Big Red Dog, Y/N. Clumsy and adorable.”

“He’s definitely big. I’d like to climb him like a tree.” You linked your arm with his, walking up to the giant house, the windows already rattling with the bass pumping through the speakers inside.

“You’re disgusting. I am appalled and also proud to call you my best friend.” Sarcastic as usual, he let you drag him along without a fuss.

“That sounds about right.”

The party was in full swing, half the campus milling around inside the house with red plastic cups in hand. You found Kaminari almost immediately, shoving Shinsou towards him and making your way to the kitchen to find yourself a drink.

“Y/N!” Kirishima was in front of you almost immediately, giant cat eyes and his shark tooth smile lighting up the room. “Kami mentioned you might show up!”

Blushing, you nodded, suddenly losing the ability to form words. He was wearing a tank top, his arm muscles on display, and you took a moment to thank the Lord for the blessing before you.

“You want a drink?”

You realized you were staring, so you cleared your throat and smiled at him. “Yes, please.”

His large hand wrapped around your elbow gently as he tugged you through the crowd in the kitchen and out towards the back porch. You tried not to think about how your skin was burning under his touch. You needed to get a grip.

He got to work on the keg, pumping the handle on the top and grabbing you a cup, tilting it a bit as he filled it with beer.

“Hey, shitty hair! Beer pong!” You turned to see Bakugou standing on the other side of the large wooden deck, his arm resting on the shoulder of a tall and lanky brown-haired boy. “Sero here wants to break up the dream team! Find a partner!”

Kirishima chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, hang on!” He turned to you, handing you your drink. “So, you play beer pong?”

Bringing the cup to your lips, you tilted your head back and chugged your beer, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand when you’d finished. Kirishima was staring at you with wide eyes, looking surprised but pleased. “Yeah. I’m better when I’m drunk, though.”

He held out his hand for the empty cup, moving to fill it up again, his grin never faltering. “Let’s go kick their asses.”

That was the beginning of your friendship with Kirishima. What had started as a crush on the red-haired man had turned into a companionship that you couldn’t ever see yourself without. That was why you never said a word about how you really felt.

As cliché as it was, you didn’t know how you’d survived without the guy. He was nothing short of amazing. He was a great listener, and he gave good advice. He was always there when you needed him, bringing you soup when you were sick, going on late-night snack runs when you were up all night studying for exams, showing up with chocolate and tampons when it was your time of the month.

Shinsou had always done those things for you, but he was spending a lot of time with his boyfriend now. You weren’t upset about it though, you thought they were the cutest and you didn’t want to third wheel their time together, so you hung out with Kirishima and Bakugou a lot more often.

As Kaminari had told you on that first day, Bakugou truly wasn’t a bad guy. His attitude got on your nerves though, and you envisioned punching him in the face at least four times a day, but you didn’t dislike him. He and Kirishima were best friends, so he was a part of the package, and you learned to deal with him.

So it was a no-brainer when Kirishima and Bakugou approached you and asked if you wanted to get an apartment with them once you’d graduated. With the three of you living together, you were able to afford a nicer apartment than you’d ever dreamed of having that was in a central location and only a few train stops away from where your respective jobs were located.

Things were going well, and you’d done a decent job of keeping your true feelings for Kirishima to yourself. It helped that he’d never dated anyone, and you were free to lust after him quietly, under the impression that no one had caught on to how you really felt, perfectly content to continue as you had been since the day you’d met him.

The only wrench in your plans of quiet pining was Mina Ashido.

Mina was awesome, and you loved her to pieces. She was one of the only other females in your friend group and had been around since you’d gotten closer to the boys in the frat that first year of college. She was the perfect person to go to when you needed some self-care nights, always down to put on a face mask and paint your nails, and she was the best shopping partner.

However, you were thoroughly convinced that Kirishima liked her.

You’d noticed, as far back as your freshman year, how they always gravitated towards each other in social settings. Mina was always one of the last ones to leave when you went out back then, always the one Kirishima threw his arm around when you walked back to campus from the bar.

It was part of the reason you’d become close with Bakugou in the first place. Whenever Kiri was with Mina, you always sidled up to the explosive blonde, teasing him to distract yourself from the way your heart was squeezing in your chest.

Neither of them had ever mentioned having more than just a platonic, friendly relationship with each other, but you couldn’t shake the feeling you got whenever you saw them together.

It’s called jealousy, you idiot.

You had nothing to be jealous about though. Kirishima was your friend, and that’s all he would ever be.

Things had been going well, at least that’s what you’d thought. And then this morning had happened.

It was Saturday, which was your normal grocery shopping day. You and Bakugou had taken on the burden of shopping for groceries for the apartment. You’d allowed Kirishima to go once and he came home with more junk food than should be allowed in one cart, and half of the things on the list you’d given him missing, and more protein powder than should be legally allowed.

Bakugou had worked out a system and your grocery shopping trips were like a well-oiled machine that took no longer than an hour out of your day, and you were grateful for your grumpy friend and his penchant for being overly organized.

You finished getting dressed, ready to get this over with so you could use the rest of the day to play video games and be generally lazy. Walking into the living room, you stopped in your tracks to see your roommates glaring at each other, which was normal for one of them, and uncharacteristic for the other.

“Everything okay?” Your eyes darted between the two men, taking in Kirishima’s stiff posture and clenched jaw.

“Fine. I’m going shopping alone today.” Bakugou grunted, turning away from his best friend.

Puzzled, you frowned. “What? Why?”

Bakugou stopped in the doorway, turning to face the both of you, looking thoroughly fed up. He lifted his hand and pointed. “The two of you are making me want to commit myself. I’ve been dealing with this shit for years, and it ends today. You’re in love with each other. Figure your shit out and fuck already. I’ll be out for the rest of the day.”

You gaped after him as he turned again, giving you both the middle finger over his shoulder as he left, the door slamming shut behind him.

And that brings us up to speed.

“Are we really this stupid?” You asked, shutting your eyes and leaning your head back.

Kirishima sighed. “This doesn’t make any sense. Since when?”

Snorting, you flopped down on the couch, rubbing at your face tiredly. “Truthfully? Since the moment we met.” You guessed the cat was out of the bag, so you might as well tell him everything. “In the kitchen at the frat house.”

“When you came over to work on that project with Denki?” His eyebrows furrowed, an adorably confused look on his face. “Are you telling me I’ve been pushing you at Bakugou for nearly 5 years for no reason?”

“Yeah, you could stop doing that at any time and I would appreciate it. Unless you want me to strangle him to death.”

Kirishima flopped down on the other end of the couch, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I’ve liked you just as long, you know? I saw you sitting in our kitchen and I thought I was going to throw up.”

“If that was supposed to make me feel good about myself then you’ve failed miserably.”

“No! I just mean, the butterflies-” He groaned. “Shut up and let me get this out okay?”

Smirking at him, you turned your body, leaning against the back of the couch. “Okay, sorry, keep going.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued, red eyes trained on your face. “Do you remember the frat party?”

“Which one?”

“That first one, when you chugged that beer in front of me and then helped me kick Bakugou’s ass at beer pong?” He waited for you to nod before he spoke again. “I’d never felt so enamored with anyone in my entire life.” Kirishima let his gaze fall to his hands. “You were so awesome and funny and beautiful and you kept up with my friends and their dumbass antics like a pro and I just...I couldn’t believe you were real. I just kept telling myself that you would never be into someone like me, so I decided that if we could be friends for life then that would be enough.”

“Ei…” You trailed off, frowning. You’d always known he tended to get down on himself. You and Bakugou had done your best to convince him he was worth much more than he let himself believe, but sometimes he needed a reminder.

“I know, I know. I don’t feel that way anymore, but at the time I did.” His hair was down, tied back in a loose bun, bits of his fringe falling in his eyes. He pushed a piece of it behind his ear and kept going. “So I tried to keep my distance, kept on hanging around with Mina, tried not to think about how much I wanted to be with you. She kept telling me I needed to tell you, kept rubbing it in that I wasn’t being manly about it. But you were hanging out with Bakugou so much I just figured you liked him and I didn’t want to get in the way.”

Closing your eyes, you let your head fall forward. “I was hanging out with Bakugou because I couldn’t stand seeing you with Mina so much. I was jealous.” Realization hit, and your eyes snapped open. “Mina knew?”

“Yeah, she’s the only one I told.”

“All those times we hung out and she never said a word.” Chuckling, you shook your head. “I told Shinsou. It’s like the only secret he’s ever kept from Kaminari. I threatened to mutilate him beyond all recognition if he mentioned a word to anyone.” You grinned sheepishly at him.

Kirishima huffed a laugh. “You’ve been spending way too much time with Bakugou. Your threats are just as creative as his.”

“Speaking of, I guess he figured it out on his own then.”

Humming, he shrugged. “He was always the smartest one out of all of us.” He looked over at you again. “So, now it’s your turn.”

Raising an eyebrow, you blinked at him. “For what? A heartfelt confession?”

“It’s only fair. I told you how I felt. What did you think when you first met me?”

You felt your ears get hot. “Do you want the truth? Because it’s kind of embarrassing.”

Shifting himself on the couch, he leaned against the arm, tanned forearms resting on his knees. “Oh, this should be good.” He teased, grinning.

“Shut up.” You sighed, preparing yourself for his reaction. “When you walked into the kitchen that day, my first thoughts were...uh...pretty dirty. Like X rated.”

Eyes wide, he stared at you. “Really? How dirty are we talking here?”

You covered your face with your hands, mumbling your answer behind them.

“Sorry, what was that?” He was fucking with you again, you could hear the smirk in his voice, and you were tempted to smack him with a throw pillow.

Taking a deep breath, you moved your hands from your face, looking him right in the eye. “I said, I wanted you to step on me.”

Sputtering, he blinked a few times. “What?”

“I mean, you were this...tank, Eijirou. Like this giant man with gorgeous eyes and a killer smile, with the personality of fucking sunshine and you had these big hands and I wanted you to wrap them around my throat and-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, seriously?” His cheeks were as red as his hair, his hands flailing as he stopped your tirade. “You wanted me to…?

Nodding solemnly, you looked him dead in the eyes. “Yes, and I’ve thought about that like every day since then.”

“I am learning things about you today that I never even imagined.” Blowing a breath out he slumped back, looking shook.

You hurried on, wanting him to know it was more than that. “I mean, after that I got to know you and I love everything about you, Ei. I just, you’re such a good person, better than I could ever be. You care about everyone and you’re always there for me, for all of us, whenever we need you. You’re strong and funny and brave. I always know that I can rely on you.” Sniffling, you couldn’t help the emotions bubbling to the surface.

“But you also want me to step on you.” He was grinning, his eyes a little wet, too.

Wiping at your eyes with your fingers, you chuckled. “Yes, exactly.”

Sighing, he leaned forward, grabbing your arm and tugging. “Come here.”

Crawling across the couch, you laid down between his parted legs, your head resting on his chest. He wrapped his giant arms around you and kissed the top of your head.

“Now what?” You asked, realizing you were afraid of the answer. What happened now?

He hummed, and you heard the sound vibrate through his chest. “I was going to suggest a nap, but now I keep thinking about what you said…”

You lifted up to ask what he meant, shifting your body and freezing when you felt something hard brush against your thigh. Eyes meeting his, you bit your lip at the look on his face, feeling a blush creep over your face and down your neck. “Yeah?”

“I figured we can do things out of order a little bit, right? I’m going to take you on a real date and court you properly, like a gentleman and all that, but right now all I can think about is, well…” He sat up, grabbing you around the waist and lifting you like it was nothing, until you were sitting properly on his lap, straddling his hips. When he was satisfied, his hand moved to your throat, putting the smallest amount of pressure on the sides of your neck with his calloused fingertips.

The moan that tore from your throat was low and quiet, but he heard it, muttering a curse under his breath as you became nearly boneless in his lap. “Eijriou.” You managed, licking your lips and gazing at him through half-closed eyes, your blood pounding in your ears.

It was ridiculous how turned on you were in that moment, and he’d barely done a thing. You felt his cock twitch beneath you, and you couldn’t help but grind down on him, the small amount of friction making you shiver.

Suddenly he was guiding you towards him, your noses bumping and breath mingling as he held you in place, his lips just out of your reach. “You don’t know how much I’ve always wanted you, Y/N.”

Letting your eyes slide closed, you ran your hands up his muscled arms and rested them on his shoulders to keep yourself upright. You were tired of waiting, of keeping yourself from what you wanted. “Show me.”

If you were to die right here on this couch it would have all been worth it. The feeling of his lips on yours, the way he ran his thumb lightly over your throat as he kissed you, had your eyes rolling back in their sockets. You couldn’t get enough of the taste of him, of the feeling of his hard body beneath your fingertips. He was careful with his sharp teeth, tugging at your bottom lip lightly, your tongues sliding together as he rolled his hips against yours.

You pulled back for air finally, taking in his kiss bruised lips and dilated pupils. Reaching down, you tore your shirt over your head, tossing it across the room, never breaking eye contact. You watched his gaze fall to your heaving chest as he worried at his bottom lip for a moment, obviously lost in thought.

Before you could ask him what he was thinking about, he’d shifted again so that his feet were on the floor. Kirishima lifted you off his lap and put you on your feet in front of him, hands moving to your waist, fingers slipping into the elastic of the leggings you were wearing. He pressed his face to your bare stomach, kissing your skin as he worked your pants down your thighs, slipping them past your knees. You played with his hair, moaning softly as he kissed along your hip.

When he sat back you stepped out of your leggings, feeling exposed. You forgot how to be awkward when he was looking at you like that, hungry and wanting. Stepping forward, you pouted. “Why am I the only one half-naked?”

Chuckling, he pulled his shirt off, and you sucked in a breath, trying to wrap your head around the fact that this man, with a chiseled and perfect body like a Greek god, wanted you.

You didn’t even have time to admire him, because he was moving again, pulling you closer by your thighs, sharp teeth hooking into the front of your panties and dragging them down. Tugging the tie out of his hair, you slid it on your wrist, letting your fingers card through his red locks. He let his hands do the rest of the work until the offending garment was tangled around your ankles.

Pushing him away gently, you watched him settle back on the couch, red eyes gazing at you as you reached back to unclasp your bra, letting it fall to the floor, finally fully exposed to him. Kirishima sucked in a breath, blinking a few times in disbelief. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

You kicked your panties to the side, moving to kneel in front of him, reaching up to grasp the top of his grey sweats, mouth-watering when you started to tug them down. Kirishima was huge everywhere else, so the size of his cock was of no surprise to you. He was massive, long, and girthy, and you couldn’t wait to feel him inside you, stuffing you full.

Rubbing your thighs together for some relief, you left his sweats around his ankles, leaning forward and grasping his cock in your hand. It was almost comical how small your hands looked compared to it. Your eyes locked with his as you licked a long stripe up the shaft, tracing along the prominent vein on the underside, and lapping at the precum dripping from the head.

Kirishima’s head fell back to rest on the cushion behind him, his fingers tangling in your hair as you took him into your mouth. Your jaw ached almost immediately as you did your best to swallow all of him down, willing your throat to relax. You’d spent so long thinking about how he would taste and sound as you sucked his soul out through his dick, you were going to make the most out of this moment.

His breathy pants filled the room, along with the obscene slurping sounds of your mouth around his cock. Gripping your hair and tugging lightly, you could tell he was holding back, his thighs shaking with the effort to keep from fucking up into your face. You pulled off, opening your mouth to let him know he could wreck you however he wanted, but he had other plans.

“Come up here, baby.”

The pet name sent shivers through you as you stood up, straddling his lap, his cock pressed up against his stomach. His thumb brushed over your lips, wiping away the spit and pre that spilled down your chin. Cradling your face in his large palm, he pulled you forward and kissed you deeply, his free hand sliding between your bodies. Thick fingers parted your folds, and you lifted up on your knees to give him better access. You moaned into his mouth as he brushed over your clit, gathering the dripping wetness of your cunt along his digits and sliding one finger inside your hole.

You clenched around him, breaking the kiss and keening loudly, your hips involuntarily bucking against his hand. His finger pumped in and out, curling slightly and pressing against your inner walls, stretching you. Gripping your hip with his other hand, he kissed his way down your jaw to your neck and chest, tongue flicking out over your nipple, hot breath ghosting over your skin with a chuckle when you grabbed his head and pulled him towards you.

One finger turned to two and then three as you rocked and mewled in pleasure, his thumb finding your clit again and pressing against the bundle of nerves, whispered praises reaching your ears as he sucked and bit at your breasts. You were on the edge, wanting to fall over and drown in him, needing to cum all over his fingers and then again on his cock, wanting nothing more than to feel this way forever.

“Ei I’m gonna…” You panted, unable to form the words.

Grunting, he moved his fingers faster, pressing his thumb in a little harder, his words of praise streaming steadily, telling you how good you were, how pretty you looked. Eyes rolling back, your body tensed, a moan in the sound of his name leaving your lips as you shook, cumming harder than you ever had in your life.

You were still clenching when he pulled his fingers out of you, his hand slick with release as he tugged on his cock and lined it up with your entrance, your body mourning the loss for mere seconds before he was filling you again. The slick glide of your arousal had you taking nearly all of him, the two of you groaning in tandem at the feeling. Gripping his shoulders, you lifted slightly, slamming your hips back down and taking him to the hilt. The stretch was just on the edge of painful, but his thick digits had stretched you just enough that the pleasure superseded any discomfort.

Still trying to gather yourself after your orgasm, you took a moment to breathe, studying his face, your gaze tracing over the scar on his eyelid, and his dark lashes fanning over his cheeks. An hour ago you never could have imagined you’d be here, panting shakily, drenched in sweat and skin to skin with your best friend and roommate.

Clenching around him, you held his shoulders, rocking forward and lifting yourself slightly. Kirishima gripped your hips, fucking up into you in a steady rhythm, his lips finding yours once again to swallow the panting moans leaving you. You bounced on his cock, relishing the feeling as he kissed down your neck, his fingertips digging into your flesh, sure to leave bruises for you to admire the next day.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but it didn’t even matter. Just being this close to him, feeling him filling you so completely after wanting him for so long, it could have been minutes and you’d be happy. Knowing he felt for you as strongly as you felt for him was enough.

His fingers trailed along your front and dipped in between your bodies to rub your clit again, and you felt the pleasure race down your spine, coil tightening again and ready to break. “Oh fuck, Eijirou!”

Growling, he grunted your name as his hips snapped up to meet yours, chasing his release. “I love you, Y/N.”

His words tipped you over again, your breath catching as you came, the wet sounds of his cock plunging into you increasing as you gushed around him. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, completely spent. You held onto him as he slammed into you a few more times, rhythm faltering and hips stuttering until he was filling you up with a loud groan.

Collapsing back onto the couch, he held you to his chest, the two of you gasping for air. It was quiet for a few minutes as he rubbed his palm along your back comfortingly. You felt relaxed and sated, a pleased smile making its way to your face when you thought about what he’d said.

“Hey, Ei?” You pulled back slightly to look at him, giggling when he peeked one eye open to gaze at you.

“You okay?”

“Mm. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, too.”

He looked sheepish, opening both eyes and biting his lip. “I didn’t mean to tell you like that. I wanted it to be romantic.”

“That was plenty romantic, Eijirou.” Rolling your eyes fondly, you shifted in his lap. “I’m just happy to hear you say it.”

“Man, we did this all wrong. I should have at least taken you to dinner first. This is so unmanly of me, I just couldn’t help it.” He frowned. “I’m sorry-”

“You’re too good sometimes, Ei. I’m not complaining, am I?” You raised an eyebrow. “We should go get cleaned up before Bakugou comes home and finds out we fucked on the couch.”

“Please don’t talk about Bakugou while you’re sitting on my dick.” He made a face that caused you to bust into gasping laughter.

“Oh my god, I can’t.” You wheezed. “You’re ridiculous.” You moved to get up and he stopped you.

With a serious look on his face, he pushed your hair away from your face, his hand lingering near your ear. “I do love you though, Y/N. And I’m glad we finally got here. I didn’t think we ever would.”

Expression softening, you leaned into his palm, smiling at him. “Me too.”

Maybe if you had just told him how you felt all those years ago, you would have been able to have this sooner. But you promised yourself that you wouldn’t dwell on the past, deciding to focus on the future, because you knew it would be filled with more moments with him just like this.

#kirishima eijirou #kirishima eijiro #kirishima eijirou x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #eijirou kirishima #eijiro kirishima #mha #mha x reader #kirishima eijirou smut #kirishima eijiro smut #bnha smut #mha smut #eijirou kirishima smut #eijiro kirishima smut #kingexpl0sionmurder writes #bnharem collab

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 314: ...Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain

Previously on BnHA: Some random assholes were all “let’s throw exploding spears at All Might and see if it activates his Conqueror’s Haki” and SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS, IT DID!! Elsewhere, Lady Nagant confusingly tried to capture Deku alive by shooting him in the stomach, but to be fair I guess that’s what happens when you send an assassin to do a bounty hunter’s job, so yeah. Deku was all “ouch”, and then because this is a shounen he basically just straight up forgot about it, and did a big fancy Smokescreen thing, and then activated his mildly incomprehensible new ki-blasting quirk which he got from the Third. En and the Third were all “hey Deku maybe let’s not just impulsively activate all this shit in the heat of battle when you don’t know how to use it yet and you’re already injured,” and Deku was all “thanks for the quirks guys but I’ll take it from here” and snuck up on Nagant and grabbed her arm and so now what’s going to happen I wonder.

Today on BnHA: Nagant is all “[shoots Deku again]” because of course she is lol. Deku is all “tell me about AFO!” and Nagant is all “why would I tell you anything?” and then proceeds to tell him her entire life story which is FILLED WITH SO MUCH MURDER, YOU GUYS. Holy shit. So basically she was an assassin for the HPSC, which we already knew, but somehow it’s one thing to know that, and another to actually see her running around capping dudes in the forehead and being covered in more blood than the elevator from The Shining. Anyway, so you’ll never believe it, but all that murder had a negative impact on her psychologically, and eventually led her to question everything she believed about hero society, and so she killed her creepy boss and was promptly sent to Tartarus. This extremely fun chapter ends with Overhaul showing up all “HI, HELLO, I’M STILL HERE”, because for some reason he is still here. Why are you still here, Overhaul.

“the beautiful Lady Nagant” oh you know your audience don’t you Horikoshi

well all right then! so I’m guessing this means that she is not, in fact, going to roll over and die just because Deku’s out here all “GOT YA!” like they’re playing a game or tag or something. ffff may the manga gods have mercy on our young suicidal protagonist

lmao so Deku is all “GOD I’M SO SMART, WHAT A GOOD STRATEGY I HAD, CAPITOL JOB THERE OL’ CHAP, CAPITOL” and lol, okay. I mean, it was a good plan though. but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop here

“I’ll make you give me information on All for One” well there you go, lol. Deku Angst arc still fully engaged. still no light in his eyes either of course. just a lil chaotic ball of sleep deprivation and rage

lol, fucking THANK YOU though

oh my god what the hell did she do to him lol

did she shoot him with her elbow??? fucking look at this?? THIS IS WHY WE LISTEN TO HAWKS oh my god Deku are you dead

WHAT’S HAPPENING, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD, WHO’S WINNING

things that I wish I could tell from this panel which I unfortunately cannot tell

did she stab him or shoot him?? can you imagine if it was the former lol. why does Horikoshi keep stabbing all my kids. look Kacchan now the two of you can match

did she actually hit him or did he get away??

or did she hit him and then he jumped away?? just, what

well anyway, so now Deku is asking her why she sided with AFO, but he seems a lot more pissed off than when he was interrogating Muscular, though. probably because she shot him three times. fair enough

oh my god

does Lady have a blog here on tumblr dot com?? -- does Horikoshi have a blog here on tumblr motherfucking dot com?? why do I suddenly feel like this man is out here sneakily reading up on all our discourse

oh my god Deku it’s almost like getting up close and personal with someone who can shoot custom bullets from any distance and any position with deadly accuracy was a terrible fucking idea

IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED YOU NOT TO ENGAGE WITH HER AT ALL COSTS. IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO DO THAT sob. can you imagine how much shorter this series would be if characters actually listened to Hawks. Hawks, and Momo. why do we even let anyone else run the show ever

OH MY GOD

DEKU, RUN

OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

this looks a lot like what happens to me whenever I play One’s Justice. those fucking combo attacks that you can’t fucking escape from and so your character just has to stand there getting their ass whalloped repeatedly while you wonder why you paid $40 for this

but anyways though. so Lady who did you kill?? I bet they deserved it, don’t worry I forgive you

(ETA: ANYWAY SO FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LADY NAGANT DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. aside from murdering all those innocent people and shit. but there were CIRCUMSTANCES, and THEY WERE EXTENUATING, OKAY.)

-- holy shit

looks like the HPSC arc is back on the menu boys

so are we about to learn that the HPSC was going full Hydra on people’s asses? secretly dispatching anyone they deemed a threat to society?? “taken care of” as in you fucking shot them??

so then was the “hero” she killed actually one of the guys who was giving or carrying out these orders?? holy shit Lady, up until now I’ve mainly just been stanning you for your flawless eyebrow game and metal af quirk, but this shit could actually get real very quickly, and I am prepared to genuinely and sincerely love the shit out of you depending on what we learn next about your backstory

oh my god?!?

so wait, hold up. am I reading this right?? basically the HPSC started murdering vigilantes because they were worried they were gaining too much of the public’s favor?? holy fucking shit???

oh my GOD oh my god

“it’s been a while since I scarred you all with the dead dog and the graphic slaughter of an entire innocent family, huh,” Horikoshi says thoughtfully. “anyway so what do you all think of my new creation, the Spaghetti Bullet.” well, Horikoshi, so you know that squished-up face that Kermit the Frog makes sometimes? yeah. that’s what I think, if you must know lol

holy hell the juxtaposition

I’m actually kind of surprised to learn she had a lot of fans? what with her M.O., I was expecting her to have been an underground hero like Aizawa, but apparently not? then again I still have absolutely no idea how any of that works. I really need to read Vigilantes already

oh snap

nothing like a sweet dose of assassin trauma to finally round out our BnHA Trauma Bingo!! well done guys, we finally collected all of the traumas! hooray!

noooo Ladyyyyyyy

holy shit what a fucking chapter. like, this man promised us an assassin, and went and fucking delivered. I was not expecting it to be this dark, lol, but holy shit I am here for it

you know, at some point you have to start questioning the logistics of this, though

I mean, how do I put this... her quirk isn’t exactly subtle. that murder scene from a few pages back looked like the first season of Dexter for fuck’s sake, that’s not exactly “disappearing” people now is it?? and I mean, her bullets are literally made from her own fucking hair; it seems like it would be impossible not to leave any evidence behind. did no one start to wonder who the fuck was going around murdering all these people? or did the people who asked too many questions wind up getting conveniently “disappeared” themselves??

and hey, speaking of asking too many questions

holy shit is he blackmailing her??!? or no, wait -- what the hell is he reaching for in his pocket boy you better not

(ETA: what exactly was this man expecting fdslkjd. “uh oh my unstoppable hair trigger assassin who is literally always armed is asking questions, better announce that I am going to shoot her and then reach into my pocket veeeeeery slowly while she stands there all of two feet away.” how did this guy ever function as the head of a shadow government with these decision-making skills, I’m genuinely baffled.)

OH MY GOD LADY YES

this. right here. is why “run the fuck away” was damn good solid fucking advice. oh shit. but my god did this dude have it coming

so wait lol has she just been narrating all of this out loud to Deku this entire time

okay but can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the fact that they’re having this deep conversation about the dark secrets of hero society right in the middle of their intense mid-air sniper free-for-all lol

holy shit you guys, Nagant’s the one that should have made the tell-all video. I mean, no offense to you, Dabi, I’m sure you worked very hard on your video and did a ton of crunches every day so that you would look good with your shirt off while you told the world all about how your dad was a jerk. but seriously...

this is already like 100x more convincing than what he put out. also, gasp, is it another flashback

yes it is oh my gosh

so the HPSC Chairladyperson whom ReDestro killed used to be this guy’s direct subordinate, huh? I wonder if she kept the whole assassin program going after she took over. can’t say I was feeling any particular kind of grieving way about her death before, but certainly not now lol

but unfortunately Nagant has finally lost me at the same place where all of the villains inevitably do, which is to say when they somehow make the dubious mental leap from “society sucks and is bad” to “let’s just be openly fucking evil lol, worth a shot.” because when heroes murder innocent people and cover it up, that’s obviously bad (and I mean, it absolutely fucking is lol, don’t get me wrong); but when villains murder innocent people straight up out in the open without giving a fuck, they’re righteous revolutionaries? just -- is there really no non-murdery middle ground here?? I guess that’s what Deku and co. are for, hopefully

anyways oh shit Deku seems to have spotted something?? and he’s doing something weird with Blackwhip what

oh, he spotted her, I guess

lmaooooo

new favorite Deku panel right here. a masterpiece

oh my god you guys our little boy is starting to grow up before our eyes

you love to see it. and you can tell with those elipses that he’s gearing up to say something really cool and determined and badass like the shounen protag he is, yes please, Deku ilu so much please do your thing

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

IS THAT A TEENY TINY LIL EYE SPARKLE THERE OMG. still not anywhere close to his usual standard, but that’s some clear resolve there in his eyes there at long last! it always shines the most clearly when he’s being true to himself and his ideals, so I love that it finally shows up again here, when he’s reaffirming his resolve to help others no matter what

uh oh so what’s Lady going to do now

is it time for a trump card?? kinda sounding like it’s time for a trump card

???

I lied btw, this is my new favorite Deku panel. but anyways what is she up to now lol

ohhhhhh, lol

why does she seem shocked, lol. here I thought this was part of her plan, but apparently she forgot all about ol’ “Look Ma, No Hands” back up there

and so I guess that’s it for this week! so we’ve learned basically everything now about Lady and her quirk and her history with the HPSC and why she agreed to work for AFO. pretty much the only question that still remains is why the hell she decided to drag this asshole along for the ride! because I still cannot figure that out dsklkjlkf

(ETA: actually now I’m kind of wondering if they maybe have some past connection we don’t know about yet. when exactly was Nagant sent to Tartarus? is it possible she was ordered to track down and kill Overhaul at some point before that, but never got around to it? or something else along those lines? idk but now I’m curious.)

anyways Deku, I know that your empathy has no bounds and that you’re on a “saving villains” kick right now, and good on you... but also, if you decide to just like, skip all of that shit just this once, absolutely no one will hold it against you, I’m just saying. just, all I’m asking here is maybe let’s think twice before we start trying to reform guys who imprison and torture little girls for profit. I think maybe that’s a good place to draw the line. next week is going to be a very interesting chapter lol

#bnha 314 #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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miss-choco-chips · 3 years

Text

F’coffee

-.-.-.-.-.-

Honestly. What did Bruce even think would happen? He should have known better.

Tim wasn’t Dick, indoctrinated from a young age to be a good, somewhat (when convenient) obedient son. Tim only went along with Bruce’s shit because, more often than not, it aligned with what he himself wanted. He also wasn’t Damian, so easily manipulable when one knew which buttons to push. And he certainly wasn’t Jason, who would sink his own ship to kill the captain.

So, when Tim and Bruce fought, and his adopted father decided to pull the ‘you live under my roof and work in my company, so I’m the boss all the way through’ card, well…

Yeah. Tim wasn’t going to take that lying down. He had a childhood of zero authority figures to obey and an overabundance of sass, plus a complete lack of fucks to give.

It was bound to go down like this.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

And, well. Tim had money. Like, an absurd amount of money. Even before being adopted by playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne, Tim had his own no small fortune stashed away, a couple of properties gathering dust, two trust funds and more antique cars that he knew what to do with. So he could just… burn through that money, or sell the cars, or make a living of renting the buildings he owned, and he would barely even scratch the surface of his deep wealth.

But it wasn’t about being able to live comfortably with minimum effort. Tim was trying to prove a point here. What point, fuck if he knew. But a point.

So here he was, on the other end of the wooden counter, a cute red cap falling over his eye as he looked dead into his friend’s eyes.

“Tim. Tim, you’re rich. Why are you working in a coffee shop?”

Seeing as Kon and Cassie were currently too busy being shocked, Tim shrugged and went back to cleaning the cup in his hands.

It was a plastic cup. It didn’t need cleaning, he could just toss it away. But it was his favorite plastic cup, and he was gonna save it as a family heirloom forever.

(The fact that the pretty customer from the morning shift had drawn cute little doodles all over it had nothing to do with it’s worth.)

“Teenage rebellion”, he finally said, carefully putting his treasure away.

“You are twenty.”

“Time is a social construct and I’m but a slinky falling down an endless flight of stairs.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Your face doesn’t make any sense. How is it so symmetrical? It defies nature.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

“What can I get for you?”

“I'll have a mocha caramel latte-chino, made with skim milk, no whipped cream.”

“Bart, no.”

“Please put that in a grande cup”

“I’m begging you, don’t do it.”

“But use the same amount of coffee that you'd put into a tall.”

“I’m warning you, you don’t want to do this.”

“That way there's about an inch of extra room on top.”

“I wish you had an extra inch so I could look straight into your eyes when I murder you.”

“To stir in my own nutmeg without spilling any coffee at all.”

“You’re dead to me. Also, I AM going to make you that drink and you WILL finish it or so help me God.”

“What do you want, Kon?”

“To not be here when Tim’s looking like he’s planning both our unsolved murders.”

-.-.-.-.-.-

When Kon entered the shop, the messenger bag slung over his shoulder bumping against his hip as he rushed in to get his caffeine intake before his evening classes, he wasn’t surprised at the scene.

Cassie being there was a given, since there was always at least one of them there at all times, supporting Tim in this ‘independence’ thing he was dead set on trying. Kon himself had his Tim Shift later that day, after his creative writing course. Bart had probably just left, considering the amount of empty cake platters littering the counter.

Tim being face down in said counter, uncaring about the mess, was also old news. The dude barely ever seemed to leave (Kon was almost completely sure he actually owned the place, since he’d never seen any sort of manager and Tim’s hours seemed to work around his weird sleep patterns all too perfectly), and distraught was his general state of being, so. Normal day as far as he could see.

Still, he had to ask. “What is it today?”

Cassie, eyes never leaving her magazine, chin resting in one hand as the other one scratched at Tim’s scalp, snorted.

“A cute boy started working in the tattoo place next door. He came in for a morning fix, when Tim was barely awake, and he said something stupid, so he’s been having an existencial crisis ever since.”

“I said ‘you too’, Kon. He said ‘thanks for the coffee, I’ll enjoy it!’ and I said ‘you too’. What is wrong with me?”

Kon snorts a little. Tim doesn’t seem to be very interested in doing his actual work, so he just jumps over the counter and starts working the machines himself.

“You know that’s a question you can only ask your therapist, Tim, but if you need to know, I’d say you’re highly sleep deprived and a dysfunctional bi?”

At that, Tim does turn to look at him. There’s some cake frosting clinging to his eyelashes, and his hair is a mess. It looks cute, to be completely honest, and Kon has to leave his unfinished latte on the side so he can hug the little shit.

“Aw, don’t pout, Timbo. I’m sure he thought you were cute. Just try to sleep a bit more tonight, so when he comes back tomorrow you’ll be a little more alert and won’t embarrass yourself.”

“What do you mean, when he comes back?”

“I mean, if he works next door, he’ll probably get his morning coffees here all the time, right?”

That seemed to drive Tim back into the distraught spiral. He smashed his head back into the counter, making dying whale noises until Cassie’s hand returned to his scalp.

Kon privately thinks Tim’s life is starting to sound like fanfiction. He wonders which type of background character he would be, in it.

-.-.-.-.-.-

The shop is called F’coffee. That’s why Cassie is convinced Tim is the actual owner; no one else would really think that’s a proper name for a serious establishment. Kon isn’t convinced all the way yet, but with Bart on her side and Tim staying silent on the subject, it is just a matter of time until she convinces him it’s totally okay for him to do his gym routine there. She thinks, with Tim being his own boss, no one would tell him to stop it, and it would help his friend’s business to bloom with new customers.

The place's general aesthetic is exactly what you would expect, with old wooden tables, comfy chairs, potted plants hanging from the walls and tall windows just a little bit stained. The smell is constantly of the strongest brew Tim has, Death Coffee (which he’s actually not legally allowed to sell, so he keeps it for himself), and just setting a foot in makes her feel instantly awake. It's also always warm, and the sweets on display look mouth watering no matter your personal preferences.

In short, it looks like something out of a movie. It’s a tad too perfect for her friend, but she thinks it also fits his obsessive need for perfection.

Except for the board. Oh, the board. Cassie loves it more than life itself.

Tim has divided the drinks in categories. And made up names for all of them.

“Yes, hello! I’d like to order a grande, iced, sugar-free vanilla Latte, with soy milk, but I can’t seem to find it in your menu…”

Tim’s dead eyes turn to Cassie for a second, before facing his customer again.

“You’re probably looking into the Normal People section”, he points out, before raising his hand to signal a bit to the left. “There you have the Pain In The Ass selection. There’s nothing just like you asked, but you have the It’s Britney Bitch beverage, which is almost exactly the same except I’ll add a middle finger drawing in the cup and charge you extra for emotional damages. Also, we’re out of soy milk.”

Or…

“Hey, good morning! I’d like to order…”

Tim raised a hand, stopping the chirpy, good looking young man dead in his tracks.

“Don’t tell me, I know what you need. I’ll just go ahead and prepare it.”

“But you don’t even know what I/”

“You’ll have a Cougar Bait. It has cacao cream, a strawberry pucker and some grenadine seeds. I think it's fitting, for you.”

And also…

“Hey, hum… Sorry, I just have to ask… what’s on the ‘Barista’s heart’ drink?”

“Cacao powder, almond milk and espresso. Also some organic coconut ash, that gives it the blacker-than-night color, that’s just a shade lighter than my soul.”

“...noted.”

Cassie snorts into her cup of Jack it up (coffee that tastes just like a Jack Daniel’s; having Tim working here has opened up her eyes to the possibilities), watching as Tim makes his own usual.

“What’s in that one?” She asks, out of curiosity, when she’s sure there’s no other customer close by.

“Six espresso shots.”

She waits for a second. Tim finishes the drink, carefully handling the dark liquid inside his favorite plastic cup.

“...okay, and?”

“And that 's it.”

“Tim, that-- that would kill you?”

“Duh. Why did you think it was called The Last Sip?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

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ackermanshoe · 3 years

Text

Edited lmao: warning this is kinda pointless and alot of farfetched theory and a veryyy long post please read at your own risk 🤡

Edit again: my analysis when I started it 1 month ago: 👩‍💼🖨️📇✒️🖋️✏️

My post now: 🤡🤡🤡🕯️🕯️🤡

Edit: I started writing this like ages ago but I don't see my own point with this writting and I'm editing it after reading @nini14 's Ackerman breaking the cycle analysis and I feel like both of these go hand in hand. So without further ado:

Triangles

Let's see as we all are made aware that aot significantly revolves around trios of friends such as the following :

Although these are the main trios that is noticeable, other trios can be made out by taking some characters from their original trios to make trios based on looks / character and dynamics. And this is where my argument comes in with this trio:

Their dynamic has always been mother father and son. Now let me explain, idk if anyone has heard about the drama triangle but here

These terms can be applied to MLE trio, Levi being the persecutor, Mikasa is the rescuer and the victim being Eren. In the first 3 seasons at least, Eren was being taken away and his decisions constently put him in danger, Levi being the persecutor who always gives Eren what he deserves for being a pain the ass and Mikasa being the rescuer always siding with Eren and protecting him no matter what. Do you see it?

This is Mikasa to a T.

The following is an example of the dad being the rescuer and the son "junior" being a victim, and much like Eren, could possibly refuse the hand that is helping him.

So that being said now that we have an understanding of their dynamics in the relationship, let's get back to understanding a triangle. Did you know triangles are one of the strongest shape because it has three sides that rely on each other hence shifting their energies on to each side and it makes the perfect shape for a bridge, architectures favourite. Why am I tell you this?

Because these dynamics that every trio is made up of in aot is because they have strong relationships.

Someone mentioned isayama loves putting move triangles and I couldn't help but agree, look at how many times he has placed Eren historia and an angry Mikasa? And subtly he has always ( to me at least) hinted the love triangle between Levi Mikasa and Eren, outside of their father-mother-son dynamic. Personally this makes sense to me the most, fueled by mikasa's dream. A choice was there to make and she unknowingly chose Levi.

Now this brings me to the death of all the trios Levi has been part of, from Isabel & Farlan to hanjo & Erwin to where we are now. Our situation before S4 was EMA+Levi = 4 people but we all know that a square isn't as strong as a triangle so something shifted. Eren, even with him in it Armin and him were more connected as for Levi and Mikasa as a pair it was more obvious. Especially in the conversation EMA had in that stare place as depicted on @gilly-bj 's analysis on similarities between rivamika and Mika's parents. Not only was Mikasa placed directly next to Levi although being feets apart in reality but her lines "another conversation only you two understand" it. Visually and verbally divided Mikasa from Eren and Armin and connected her to Levi. Both alone.

Yet another triangle placed by isayama intentionally or not is Armin Mikasa and Levi.

Because a triangle represents the process of recycle and reuse it also represent the cycle of life, an on going thing that doesn't stop, a history that repeats itself. And going back to Ackerman finally breaking this cycle of tragic fate, will they?

The fact that the whole manga series start at chapter 0 is very suspicious in it self. Why does it isyamaa? A 0, a circle that comes back around? A 0 which represents both the ending and the beginning? Why is the 1st chapter called "to you, 2000 years from now"? ( That's such a fucking impactful chapter name gives me chills )

Before my theory start I just wanna add that the story started from a narrative perspective makes me wanna believe in rivamika even more. Did eldians share the same fate in 2000 years? Who knows, but I know for sure Erens and mikasa's dynamic as the impulsive hotheaded doer and their protective calm but strong friend thinker will continue forever just like the never ending triangles.

I forgot all these ppls names on chaoter 0 so PLS bare with me.

The main dude who heavily resembles Mikasa even tho he is a man, has a incredible power just like the Ackerman's as a human AND he can shift into a titan???? Last time I checked weren't Ackerman's the bio product of titans? Remember is science is on a ongoing journey and forever progressing towards the impossible ;)

Hmmm

The little girl who resembles Gabi, who has the same dynamic as Eren, the girl also looks up to his inhumanly powers, a little too much alike Eren's idolisation of Levi ( and looking up to Mikasa's strength I think )?

Lastly, chapter 0 makes me believe it was set in the future. Look at the buildings, 2 story buildings I don't remember seeing buildings like this in the pre time skip era have you? I could be wrong tho.

If Isayama is as smart as we think he is then he might have related this chapter to the whole plot of aot. 🤷 Or it could mean something. And here's where my theory comes in and it may not be the most favourable for eldians. Let me start with the good part tho, the guy who looked like Mikasa is could be a descendant from the Ackerman clan, but he isn't half and half like Mikasa and Levi, he's full blooded. Which might be why he has the power to shift ( idk this kinda don't make sense since Mikasa and Levi can't buy hush )

So let's say rivamika got married had a family they always wanted and had the peaceful life and 2000 years from then this guy^ existed. Oddly familiar to great great great grammakasa 💀💀.

The cycle never ended for eldians, the whole world could still be mad at them for Erens action and has the prejudice against them for a long time. And the fact that they can shift is never going to change even 2000 years in the future. And the guy ( omg I keep calling him the guy cause I literally can not be bothered figuring out his name ) who lives in a far more developed society with richer civilization within the wall. It could be possible that Ymir or someone erased the eldians memories ONCE AGAIN after the rumbling ended. Because Mikasa levi weren't effected they probably were excused and got to live as they pleased. This dude is also the reason why I believe isayama does not consider the Ackerman's as side characters at all. In the end the story might have actually started with them, alluding to "the ending is just the beginning" as said by kingsama himself. ( Wtf am I saying lol )

So yeah in conclusion as I said yes story is weirdly really influenced by a large amount of triangles and loops. And yes ackerman probably would break the cycle of death after all living through hell fighting hell all for what? If not recreating into a heaven, giving it new life. I do believe in rivamika living the life they are destined for with each other but eldians fate might just be too tragic for me to see them as truly free people who gets to roam around outside the walls as they please.

I guess my point is that everything that goes around will come around, that will bring good karma for the Ackerman's and maybe a repeation of the past for the rest of the world. 😩😩 I think I fully somehow believe Eren is gone for good. Unless isayama draws him waking up from a long dream on his bed then 💀👀👀 I will throw myself away.

Thank you for reading 💞 once again I'm so sorry this post isn't as good as I'd like it to be I am sleep deprived right now and it isn't worded as well as of like it to be. But hope my delulu ness was enjoyable at least. ✌️💀

#rivamika #levi x mikasa #rivamikacanon #rivamika analysis #rivamika theory?#bullshit

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