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deathmetalunicorn1 · 17 days

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Eri Reader x Straw Hats Part 24- Whole Cake Island

This is another doozy of an arc, so there will be abridging!

-Sanji made true on his vow to you, as soon as he saw Big Mom, who was pleased to see both him and you, he immediately asked her, “I will do whatever you ask of me, but do not let my family, any of them, anywhere near Y/N.”

-Big Mom seemed surprised by his request, leering down at him while her children were all doing the same, angered that he was making demands when he was going to be killed at the wedding.

-When she asked him of his reason, while you were hugging Sanji close, your arms wrapped around his neck, “You know what Germa 66 is capable of. If they get their hands on Y/N, who knows the torture she’s going to be put through, to get information on her abilities.”

-This made everyone freeze, they knew exactly what Germa 66 was capable of, that’s why they were arranging this wedding, but to see you in Sanji’s arms, trembling with fear, as you wanted to back to all the others, they were a bit more willing to listen now.

-Big Mom agreed to his terms, “Katakuri, my strongest son, will watch Y/N and keep her safe.” The massive man approached, looking so fall, even taller than Doflamingo, as you were a bit in awe as Sanji agree before looking down at you, as he had told you before this meeting that Luffy would come, he knows he will, “Be good Y/N. I’ll see you soon.” You nodded softly before turning to face the Charlotte Family.

-You were scared but when Katakuri picked you up, his hands almost swallowing you up, you felt something, you could tell that he was very strong, but he wasn’t a bad person, you couldn’t explain the feeling, as he held you up on his shoulder, safe and secure.

-Big Mom, curious of your past, as she had heard a lot about you, invited you to a tea party, where she had so many cakes and tea, “You’ll be part of our family soon enough, Y/N, so enjoy yourself!”

-You were confused, looking so innocent sitting on Katakuri’s knee, “But I already have a family, my big brothers, big sisters, and my mama!” Big Mom chose to ignore you, thinking that you had been brainwashed by the Straw Hats. You would come around soon enough.

-You didn’t know that your tea had been drugged, after you ate a bit, so you wouldn’t get sick, just putting you to sleep, and once you were out, Pudding came forward and used her ability to pull out your memory, which almost looked like a movie film reel, so everyone could see it.

-Big Mom knew about the condition of your body, the scars, and she was fully ready to make each of the Straw Hats pay, thinking they had done that do you.

-Only they didn’t they were the ones who rescued you. They saw this unknown man, Overhaul, experimenting on you, making you scream and cry, terrible sounds and visuals that none of the Charlotte Family would be able to forget anytime soon.

-They saw when Luffy found you, rescuing you, and how kindly he treated you, feeding you, and how you had been treated by the other members, all with gentle kindness, other than the occasional forehead flick when you did some reckless.

-Big Mom was distraught when she saw what your abilities allowed you to do, bringing those back from the dead, tears welling in her eyes as she thought of Mother Caramel. However, when she saw the repercussions of your ability, the high fevers, and the risk it put on your life, she was torn. She wanted to see Mother Caramel more than anything, but she wasn’t willing to risk a child’s health and safety for it.

-Seeing that the Straw Hats were not the ones that did this to you, the murderous intent faded for them at least, as Big Mom demanded to know who this Overhaul was, wanting to find any information about him.

-While Big Mom wasn’t going to go after the Straw Hats, unless if they tried anything funny, she wasn’t going to let them take you back, after seeing what you have gone through the past few years. They were incompetent in her eyes, unable to properly keep you safe.

-A few days later, you thought you heard someone saying something about Luffy, but you weren’t completely sure, as you hugged Katakuri face from the side, from your spot on his shoulder.

-Katakuri was unsure of this feeling he felt for you, it was so strange, so new, it wasn’t like the feeling he felt with his cute little siblings. This was something else, but he liked it.

-He did his job, keeping you safe, keeping a watchful eye on you, even when you were playing with other children, including the Charlotte Family children, making sure that you were safe at all times.

-Katakuri was very open with you, not feeling afraid of you being afraid of him, so he showed you his snack time ritual, showing you his true self.

-Instead of being scared your eyes were huge and sparkly as you watched him eat donuts, “So cool! You can eat such big donuts in one bite!!” This is what made his affection for you grow.

-The only thing Katakuri didn’t allow was for you to see Sanji, despite feeling his heart aching, seeing your puppy dog eyes, seeing you look so cute, calling Sanji your big brother.

-Katakuri took you to a place that overlooked the harbor and pointed out the Germa 66’s ship, “That’s Sanji’s family. From what I know he doesn’t see himself as a member of that family, but he wants us to keep you away from them, to keep you safe.” You remember Sanji saying the same thing, and it made you curious, wanting to know why Sanji didn’t like his family.

-When you heard that Luffy was on the island, along with Ace, Nami, Brook, and Chopper, your eyes lit up, wanting to return to your home on Sunny with them, along with Sanji.

-Katakuri felt like scum when you cried, when he told you that you weren’t going back with them, that Big Mom, or Mama as she had been wanting you to call her, was adopting you and you were going to be a part of her family. You didn’t understand and Katakuri felt guilt, seeing you in such a state.

-It was Luffy and Ace, working together, that led Katakuri leaving you with Sanji, who held you close, hugging you so tightly and Sanji felt the ice in Katakuri’s stare when he told the cook to keep you safe while he dealt with the invaders, not outright telling you that it was Luffy and Ace, so you wouldn’t be upset.

-Your little hands cupped Sanji’s face, seeing that he was injured, having been beaten by his family, being the weakest of them all, which made tears well in your eyes.

-Your horn flared to life, and he caught your hands, halting your actions, smiling softly down at you, “Don’t Y/N. I’ll be fine. I promise.” You lifted your pinkie finger to him, and he couldn’t help but grin, feeling warm and locked fingers with you.

-You then heard a new voice, “Is that Y/N?” you both turned and saw three more men, who looked kind of like Sanji, one with red hair, one with blue, and one with green, and a lady with pink hair.

-Sanji held you close, getting ready to move to run before Reiju came over, beaming down at you, “Hello there Y/N. I’m Reiju, Sanji’s big sister!” your eyes went wide, hearing this, and while Sanji seemed okay with her being close, he took a step back when the other three tried to approach.

-You then saw another man, a large man, following them, looking surprised to see you in Sanji’s arms, as he was curious as to where you were, as he knew that Big Mom had brought you to the island alongside his useless child.

-Niji and Ichiji both came over, telling you their names, as they knew their father’s plan on using you, and if they could get you easily like this, away from Big Mom’s watchful eyes, then they were going to take it.

-Yonji came over, looking cheerful, “And I’m Yonji!” instantly your mood and demeanor went from curious to terrified, your hands winding into Sanji’s shirt, your eyes going wide as you started breathing heavily, like you were panicking.

-Sanji and Reiju were quick to notice the change as your eyes were locked on Yonji, who tilted his head to the side, confused as to why you were looking at him like that.

-Sanji was quick to put his hands over your eyes and you quickly turned, burying your face into Sanji’s chest, trying to hide from this man. You didn’t know him, but his voice… it was the same as Overhaul’s.

-Reiju was quick to slap Yonji, demanding to know what he had done to you to make you so afraid, which caused lots of yelling. Sanji noticed Reiju pointing to the window, giving him an out, as she was terrified to see you look so scared, and Sanji ran, leaping out the window.

-His brothers and father all yelled, seeing him escaping, as Sanji used his sky walk to escape, descending safely while holding you close. Sanji was willing to do whatever it took to keep you safe, and if it was his life or yours, he would always make sure that you were safe, every single time.

-Luck was on his side when he saw Luffy, Ace, and Nami again, running to safety after having defeated Cracker and escaping and he shouted, “NAMI-SAN!!” She turned, hearing Sanji as Niji was closing in on him, using his power suit to catch up.

-Sanji squeezed you once before tossing you towards the group and instantly you felt Luffy’s rubber arms wrapping around you before pulling you into his chest.

-You looked up, tears blooming in your eyes as you cried, “Big brother!!”

-He held you close, not letting you look back, as he looked murderous as Niji, Ichiji, and Yonji were attacking Sanji, while Reiju and Judge looked on, but Nami was the one to grab Luffy, and the three of them ran, looking for a place to hide.

-For a while, you were safe, crying in Nami’s arms as you told them what Sanji’s mean family had done and how Big Mom wasn’t going to let you go with them, that she wasn’t going to let you go.

-Ace just ruffled your hair softly, trying to console you, “It will be okay Y/N. We’re going to get Sanji back and then were going to meet up with the others in Wano.” You sniffled softly, giving him a firm nod and he grinned, seeing you looking happier.

-That was short lived when you were attacked by Big Mom’s children, Katakuri taking you back from Luffy, who was demanding him to let you go. You were trembling, looking scared as they were all captured and taken away.

-Katakuri had been furious to see you there, knowing Sanji had betrayed him, but when he returned to Sanji, Katakuri saw that he was badly beaten, as if he had been violently attacked. Katakuri wasn’t dumb to realize that Germa 66 had found you, and Sanji took you to safety, with Luffy and the others.

-You were crying, seeing Sanji in such a state before you scared Katakuri by leaping from his shoulder, to get to Sanji. He caught you safely, sighing softly in relief, “That was reckless.”

-Another voice then spoke up, “I agree.” You both turned, seeing Reiju there, holding medical supplies, looking upset, as if she didn’t want this to happen to Sanji.

-Sanji, through gasps of pain, as he refused to let you use your ability on him, told you that Reiju was the only good one in his family, beside his mother, Sora.

-You noticed Reiju trying not to cry, hearing her mother’s name, and Katakuri remained silent, letting you be with Sanji and Reiju, hearing the tale of how the Germa 66 came to be, and what Sora was willing to do to keep her children safe.

-You were in tears by the time he finished the tale, telling you how Reiju snuck him out all those years ago, getting him to a ship where he would later meet Zeff

-Your horn started glowing by itself as you sniffled, crying as Sanji tried to move, immediately hissing in pain, “Y/N! Calm down!” Katakuri went to touch you when a bright light filled the room and only moments later, a woman was standing there, blond, with curly eyebrows.

-Reiju’s jaw dropped open, her tears welling as the woman gasped suddenly, taking her first breath, “Mother!!” Sora turned, being embraced by her now much older daughter, surprised to see her there before she gasped, “Sanji!!”

-You stumbled back, holding your head, feeling woozy as Katakuri pulled you into his arms, pulling his scarf off, wrapping it around you as you started developing a fever, tears streaming down your cheeks.

-Sanji was in disbelief, seeing his mother there, tears welling in his eyes, but he didn’t care, he openly cried as she held him close, holding her sweet child in her arms once more.

-Katakuri was conflicted, he knew that the Germa 66 was going to die at the wedding, at least those four men who deserved it, but seeing these three, seeing the love they had, it didn’t feel right to let them die too.

-Sora was pleased to meet you, once your fever broke, as Sanji explained your ability, and how you brought her back to life, as she hugged you close, cuddling you. She was a lot like Sanji, so warm and cuddly.

-Reiju then spoke, “Y/N, what did Yonji do to make you so scared of him?” She had been wondering this, as did Sanji, and hearing this, Katakuri and Sora were also curious, but only Katakuri had pain on the mind.

-You hesitated for only a moment before you pushed up one of the sleeves on your shirt, showing your scars, making the two women gasp in shock as Sanji looked mad, seeing them again, “I… he- he didn’t do anything, but he… he has the same voice as… as Overhaul, the one who did this to me.”

-Sora cuddled you close again, vowing to keep you safe.

-Katakuri then spoke, “I know Mama wants to use you as well Y/N, when you’re older and stronger. She said it was to keep you safe, but the safest spot is with that loud mouthed captain of yours. I’ll help you all get to safety.”

-He then told you all about the plot to kill Germa 66, so big Mom could take the technology for herself, to create weapons, and you realized that she was no better than the Germa 66.

-Sanji agreed to go through with the plan, as Katakuri could see, with his future sight, that shit was going to hit the fan tomorrow.

-You remained with Katakuri, to help with the plan, as Reiju, Sanji, and Sora went to rescue the others, telling them of the plan and the inside friend they now had.

-Luffy calmed, hearing that Katakuri was willing to help you all escape, but he agreed to go through with the plan, as they had their own inside man, with Capone Bege, who was helping arrange for the wedding to go badly.

-Sora was distraught to learn what Judge had done to their children, seeing what they had become, but knowing that Reiju and Sora were good, and that Sanji had you, she was willing to do whatever it took to help where she could.

-Bege had the idea of her being a shock factor, to stop the Germa 66, if they tried to come after them during the fallout, something Reiju agreed to help with, as she was leaving to be with her mother.

-Sanji offered them a safe place with Zeff, whom he knew would take them both in, and they liked the idea of the easy life, working in a restaurant, one that helped raise Sanji into the man he was today.

-You were in Katakuri’s arms, wearing a pretty dress, one fit for a wedding, looking a little nervous as you watched Pudding, who you found out wasn’t as nice as she pretended to be, and Sanji up on the humongous wedding cake.

-Katakuri looked down at you, giving you a tiny squeeze, one that reassured you.

-Shit hit the fan and it hit it hard and fast when Luffy and the others launched their attack, shooting Mother Caramel’s photograph, sending Big Mom into a fit of anguish, one that would have hurt your ears, had Katakuri not put mochi in your ears prior to her losing it.

-Your eyes were wide as you saw Sanji saving his family, who had been encased in hard candy, so they could be easily shot, but he glared down at them as Reiju took his hand, “Never come after me or Y/N again!”

-Reiju beamed at them as they went to stand, to attack Sanji, demanding who he thought he was before a voice spoke up, “He’s my very normal human son!!” They all turned, seeing Sora there and eyes went wide, seeing her alive, realizing that you had brought her back to life.

-Judge looked so elated to see her, trying to approach but she popped off with the mother of all bitch slaps, sending him spinning as she glared hard, “Children are not weapons! I tried to teach you this then, and I’ll teach you this now! Why do you think they had no feelings being faced with death?!”

-Reiju grabbed her mother, hugging her close and took off, using her boots to skywalk, as they rushed for the ship Katakuri had prepared for them, as Sanji had called Zeff, letting him know what had happened and he agreed to take the two women in.

-Katakuri had to make it look like he was fighting Ace and Luffy, to keep up appearances, as they were pulled into the mirror by Brulée, who was in on the plot, willing to help Katakuri, and willing to help you, after you showed her such sweet kindness, one she had never felt before, getting everyone safely to the ship.

-Katakuri hesitated in handing you over, he didn’t want to let you go, Ace saw the look in his eyes and smiled softly, “You’re welcome to join us, if you want to.” Katakuri was startled by this offer, before he shook his head sadly, handing you to Brook, “No, my place is here with my family, just as you all belong together.”

-You caught his hand, surprising him as you beamed, “Don’t forget to come and see me, okay?” he chuckled softly, stroking his thumb down your cheek, before he left, retreating to his family.

-Your eyes were huge and sparkly, watching Carrot go Sulong, which was amazing to see, as you had never seen anything like it, but she was still Carrot, as she hugged you, rubbing her cheek against her own, once she took out several of the opposing ships.

-Ace held you on his shoulders, his hat on your head, as everyone managed to escape as Luffy beamed, “Onward to Wano!!”

-You threw your hands up, cheering with the others, wondering what awaited you on your next adventure!!

#one piece #eri reader #luffy #portgas d ace #nami #sanji #germa 66 #big mom #charlotte family #katakuri

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microwave-core · 9 months

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Scarvio Headcanons

Guess who’s back on her bullshit

It’s me :)

Nemona, my favorite skrungly dumbass. Sweet thing is trying her best, unable to discern her romantic feelings from her platonic ones for so long. Listen, growing up she only had pokemon on the mind, and once she reached the top she really didn’t have any friends, so she’s still figuring things out. But enough about her being lost in her feelings, because I’ve talked about that enough.

Once she manages to spill her guts and get into an actual relationship, she’s completely lovesick, over the moon. Her entire worldview has changed for the better, as she somehow becomes even peppier than usual. The happiness beaming from her is as radiant as the sun. Her mood is impossible to bring down. She’s just so happy that you’ve given her a chance, that you feel the same way about her that she feels about you.

In general? She’s a mix of eager and nervous. Nemona only recently made real friends, so obviously she’s still learning the ins and outs and weird quirks of relationships, both for platonic and romantic ones. Don’t get me wrong, she’s absolutely ecstatic at the idea of having a girlfriend, and she absolutely loves you with her whole heart and soul, but this is still new, unexplored territory for her. Taking big steps in your relationship makes her heart pound, both from excitement and fear, but she fights against her nervousness with relative ease, viewing it as a mere challenge she must overcome to become the girlfriend of your dreams.

Speaking of friends, Nemona likes to go to them for advice, despite both of them being in the same relationship boat as her, to varying effect. Arven actually gives some pretty sound advice, but that’s mainly because said advice boils down to making and giving you food, and who doesn’t love free food? Penny, on the other hand, essentially just rehashed vagueling romantic things from her favorite manga and anime. Thankfully for you, Arven usually manages to shut her down before any ideas can be planted into Nemona’s head.

Her favorite kind of dates are the ones where you spend time in nature together. Whether you’re going on a picnic or camping or just plain ol’ adventuring, she’s gonna have a great time. Just know that she is going to try and battle every unique looking pokemon you come across. On the bright side, she’ll always give you first dibs when it comes to catching them. It might take a long while for her to catch anything, given her less than stellar throwing arm, but she’ll succeed eventually through raw, sheer determination.

This mentality can be applied whenever you express interest in catching a pokemon. If you want something, Nemona will get it for you, no questions asked. If you are looking for something super rare? Nemona’s got it. You’re trying to get a shiny? She’s already on it. You want something insane like the rare three-segmented Dudunsparce and you want it to be shiny? Don’t worry, babe, she’s got this. She will disappear for weeks on end and reemerge with the spoils of war in hand.

Please let her geek out, if only for a little bit. Let her rant and rave about the insane battle she had with her rival a few days ago, or about the uber rare pokemon she found earlier in the week. On one hand, she just wants to talk about these things in general, but on the other hand she just wants to know that someone in her life is genuinely interested in what she has to say. It makes her heart flutter in a way that she’s never felt before. The second you give her that kind of attention, she knows that you are the one for her.

Anyways, I always love posts that are like “slander your favs for no reason” so Imma try to do that for each of these ladies, except it isn’t really gonna be slander but I’m gonna call it that anyways because I don’t know what else to call it. For Nemona, I’d say that she’d fall hook, line, and sinker for those old playground rumors, like Mew being under a truck by the S.S. Ann or the Jirachi rock bullshit. If you tell her that they aren’t real, that people just made them up to pull people’s legs, she would be completely crushed.

Penny’s a weird one. Like, just in general, and we love her for that. She is the epitome of what facebook boomers think of the younger generation. She is terminally online and refuses to leave her room unless absolutely necessary. She has committed bank fraud. She is blue hair and pronouns. She is holy fucking bingle.

Unlike Nemona, who is super eager about taking steps in your relationship, Penny is terrified of them. She’s never been this close to another person in her entire life, so obviously she’s hesitant. Not to say that she doesn’t like being close with you, she loves it and craves to be even closer, but she can’t help but feel a bit afraid of the unknown. That’s all to say, you are going to have to be the one to initiate those steps. Just be careful, even a kiss to the cheek is enough to make her brain do a full system-reboot.

But she wants to take those steps, and wants to show you that she cares about and loves you (although it takes a very long time for her to bust out the L-word). For starters, Penny will actually open up to you about all of her interests. She’s not ashamed of who she is, but she doesn’t tell most people about her interests due to being bullied for them in the past. On top of that, she’ll also introduce you to her Team Star buddies, and they definitely pull the overprotective card on you. Hell, she’d even hack the league again for you if you so much as asked (just don’t tell Clavell she said that).

She also takes your interests into consideration in order to recommend some of her favorite things in return-from manga, to video games, to music. And if you ever tell her about something that you really, really love, she will binge it ASAP. You could mention a game that takes at least a hundred hours to complete and she will somehow finish it within a matter of days, ready to talk about it as soon as the credits roll. She was bullied for the things she loves, so she knows how much it sucks having no one to talk to about them. Not that she’d ever say that out loud, though, because mushy feelings and words don’t come naturally to her.

Kind of an aside, but do you think something like pokemon showdown (online battles) would exist in the pokemon universe? I only mention this because I think Penny would be super into competitive memes. She would totally mention something like homophobic ferrothorn in casual conversation and expect you to understand what she’s talking about.

Of course, how could I mention Penny in general headcanons without bringing up the theory that she’s Peony’s daughter? How could I pass up an opportunity to, once again, talk about supreme supportive embarrassing dad-of-the-year Peony who’s extremely supportive of his gay daughters? Giving Peonia this treatment wasn’t enough, I seek more carnage.

Now, Penny would definitely have it better than Peonia, considering she lives in a different region and all, but that doesn’t stop Peony. He sends her small gifts all the time, many of which are handmade. In particular, he loves to send little pride flag patches, which she often shares with her friends. He also tries to send her supportive messages to tell her that he loves and accepts all of her no matter what, but they’re always made in MS Paint with a mouse and he has to ask Peonia to help him save the image and send it to her, and it's always either far too small or far too big, nowhere in between.

Slander time, Penny would absolutely own a titty mouse pad of one of her favorite anime characters. She is incredibly embarrassed about owning it, and dreads the day someone finds it, but she still uses it, and goes to great lengths to hide the thing whenever anyone comes over.

Katy is kinda hard for me to write for because it’s in an instance of oh I know someone with that name and it’s hard for me to think of her without thinking about that person with whom I am related to, but you didn’t ask about that.

This woman? She’s the sweetest thing to ever grace Paldea. This lady is so sickeningly sweet at all times, only wanting the best for those around her. She couldn’t even hurt a Cutiefly because she’s simply too kind. Make no mistake, she could absolutely clock the shit out of someone, but she simply chooses not to. Thankfully, she only believes in uplifting others.

Obviously, baking is her passion. She’s spent years perfecting her craft down to a science, enough to make complex techniques look simple. More than anything, she wants to share the joys of baking with you. It’s like giving you a piece of her to hold onto forever. Don’t be surprised if she ends up making you her go-to taste tester, always asking your opinion on whatever new concoction she’s whipped up. All she asks is that you’re honest, not wanting you to lie just to protect her feelings.

Speaking of her craft, she understands how difficult it can be to get into or master a craft or hobby, about how easy it is to put yourself down the second you make a mistake. She’s been there, she gets it, hence why she doesn’t hold back with her praise and criticism. She believes it’s important to acknowledge how much you’ve improved while also keeping in mind how you can strive to be better.

Despite how sweet and kind she is, Katy does have a mischievous streak. Pulling light-hearted pranks is one of her favorite pastimes. It's small things like signing your email up to some random newsletter or asking “what’s that” while pointing over your shoulder, only to be met by one of her creepy-crawly or bear-shaped pokemon. You could argue that these things don’t really classify as pranks, but she loves doing them nonetheless. Even though they are completely harmless, she always has sweets to give the prankee after the fact, just in case her actions somehow came off poorly.

But let’s skip to the bottom line, you can’t date Katy if you hate bug pokemon. And it’s not because she won’t tolerate your opinion, no, it’s because her little-and big-bugs are around constantly. If your fear was bad enough, you’d likely end up having a heart attack just by being around her for an extended period of time. If you are afraid of them but are determined to be with her, then she’ll do everything in her power to help overcome your fears. Exposure therapy can work wonders if you’re willing to put the effort in, and she’ll reward you with her love and baked goods for being so brave, especially because you’d be doing it for her.

She’s one of the most uplifting, cheerful yet calm partners you could have. She’ll always be in your corner, helping you along the way of whatever journey you are on, but she won’t be overbearing. She’s a very passive person by nature and struggles with confrontation, but she has your back no matter what happens, prepared to catch you and help you back onto your feet whenever you may fall down.

Slander posting time, Katy really got into the “everything is cake” thing. Like, it kind of became a problem, to the point that she spent hours making a single realistic-looking pastry. Normally, she’s not too hard on herself when it comes to baking, as small mistakes are unavoidable and are nothing worth losing sleep over. That is, until she was working on a hyper-realistic Tarountula, where she acted like her life was on the line should a single one be made.

Iono can be super energetic, upbeat, and slightly unhinged at times, and lowkey, chill, and… still kinda unhinged at others. She’s an online personality, so, of course, there’s a persona she has to put up, but with someone like you, she can be her regular self.

For starters, this girl is fuckin’ tired. Putting up her hyper-active streaming persona whenever she’s around others while also having to deal with internet weirdos wears her out. Of course, she’s grateful for her job and the opportunities that come along with it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not stressful at times. She can handle it, though, even if she does end up whining and borderline begging you to cuddle her when you get home at the end of the day, if only for a bit.

When it comes to your relationship, she desperately wants to show you off. You’re her darling, loving girlfriend, who is both incredibly hot and talented. It’s only natural that she would want to show off how great your relationship is. But, at the same time, she’s very secretive with it. For one, she knows how certain people can get when the people they follow get into relationships, and two, she wants to keep her personal life out of the public eye.

Her hair is a nightmare to care for. Not just because there’s a ton of it, but because she has to constantly make sure it’s dyed properly. Personally, I believe her hair is naturally pink, meaning every few weeks she has to get the turquoise parts touched up. Of course, that doesn’t even mention how long it takes to style. All she asks of you (a lie) is to brush her hair, careful to work out the tangles with delicate strokes. She’s always willing to return the favor, tending to your hair based on your instructions.

Whenever you go out, she has no choice but to put on a disguise. On a date, she doesn’t want to be noticed by the general public. Not only would it bring attention to you both, it would also force her to put up her streaming face, which would kinda destroy the purpose of you guys going out in the first place. What’s the point of spending quality time with each other, one-on-one, if she has to be fake to appease those around you?

On the actual dates, she’s super lowkey, even more than usual. It’s not often that she gets to be herself out in public, so she cherishes all the time dearly, even if she has to hide her face in doing so. You get to hold hands, go out to eat, and walk around the streets of Levincia while window shopping, chatting and laughing the whole time. She forgets how much she loves it, living a mundane life, even if just for a few hours. It makes her think about what life will be like in the future. She doesn’t want to live in the public eye, streaming forever, so these small moments are like a glimpse into the future for her.

But Iono can absolutely be a menace, as well, both on and off stream. Like, you could just be on your quiet little date in the city and she’ll randomly ask if you want to go harass Larry. She does it all the time for her streams because the people love him, but she also just does it for fun on her own time. Besides, who doesn’t want to end their date by badgering epic divorce man as he eats 50 rice balls in one sitting?

As for slander, well, there’s many things I could mention here, if I’m being honest, but let’s just stick with the simplest one. She’s done a youtuber apology before in response to some dumb controversy she got involved in, complete with the sigh at the beginning followed by “I never wanted to make this video” and all.

Tulip’s elegant and a bit head strong, and is also incredibly charismatic and business savvy. Beauty is her forte, and she finds it in all things, regardless of what other people think, which she thinks is a mindset everyone could benefit from having.

She’s a bit more difficult than others, in a sense, mainly because of how busy her life is. Typically, she’s talking to business personnel about her next line of cosmetics, either in person or over the phone. As a result, making time for you can be difficult. Sometimes, the most you’ll see of her in a day is her, on the phone, whispering a quick “love you” and planting a kiss on the top of your head before turning her attention back to whoever’s on the other end of the line.

But every now and then, she’ll clear her entire schedule and spend the entire day with you, and she’s pampering to a fault. No matter what you end up doing all day, at some point she’ll sit you down and do your makeup and style your hair all pretty while chatting away. Her work is flawless, obviously, although it does take quite some time to finish. She’ll let you do hers in return, finding whatever choices you make to be beautiful. After all, you picked out the colors and styles specifically for her, so of course she’ll love it.

If you end up going out, she’d love to go to a nice restaurant. It’s a great way to show off how lovely you both look, dolled up, ready for a wild night on the town. Eventually, though, she'll get recognized, leading to you both being tailed by the paparazzi. She puts on her best smile, asking you to play along, but soon enough you’ll both bail. The night ends with you running through back alley streets, laughing and giggling with one another until you eventually find your way back home.

Quiet dates are what she prefers, though, as it’s nice to just relax and unwind with someone you love. She adores meditation and yoga, and would love to guide you through some sessions. She’s learned a lot from Dendra, after all, and needs to put that knowledge to good use. That being said, she’s a very flexible person, mainly because she’s been doing yoga for so long, so don’t feel bad if you have trouble keeping up with her.

While Tulip’s whole business is about cosmetics, she puts a ton of value on self-love. To her, makeup is purely an art form which uses the human body as its canvas. Every face, every body, has beauty to it. If you can’t realize how wonderful you are in your most natural state, then slathering makeup on, what you perceive to be, flaws won’t change your overall self-image. Makeup is a hobby, and it looks best when you use it to accentuate what beauty you already possess. It’s the reason she absolutely loathes self-deprecation. If she ever catches you saying something bad about yourself, whether it’s meant to be comedic or not, she’ll take your face in her hands, squishing your cheeks a bit, while stating otherwise. Like, if you said you weren’t really that pretty or attractive, she’ll go off on a rant about how beautiful you are, both in and out. If she thinks something seriously up with you, that something is really weighing on your mind, she’ll clear her schedule as soon as possible and spend hours spoiling you, making sure you know how much she truly loves you and you alone.

Tulip is also super into self-care. If she’s not posting about makeup or fashion, she’s promoting all kinds of things to her followers. She posts about her morning routine and makes instructional videos for yoga poses and stretches. Sometimes, she’ll drag you out of bed in the morning to join in on her regular routine, mainly her skin care routine as well as meditation. It’s important to take care of your mind and body, and she won’t let you forget that.

Let’s see, slander for Tulip. Normally, she’s a very calm and composed individual, but she’s not perfect. That is to say, there exists a video of her just completely blowing up at someone Christian Bale style. She prefers to ignore its existence.

Rika’s honestly not my type, but I get the appeal, even if she does look like gijinka Perry the Platypus. She’s got that cool edge about her, even when she is wearing her grandma glasses.

She loves to flirt with you. The flustered expression she can force onto your face never fails to make her heart pound in her chest. The way your eyes widen, the way you try to hide your face from her, the way you stammer through your words… all moments she cherishes. She’s not above kabedoning (or whatever the word is) you just to see you squirm. She wants to steal your heart, and will go to any lengths she has to to make you hers.

That being said, I sincerely see Rika as a failwife. She may look sleek and suave on the surface, but behind closed doors? She’s a disaster. She lays in bed at night. tormented by your cute face, as she’s forced to overthink every little interaction she’s ever had with you. It’s like, she’ll think about some interaction you’ve had, thinking she completely embarrassed herself in front of you, that she completely screwed up her chances with you, when in reality you don’t even remember it. Not even the gentle embrace of Clodsire can save her.

Whenever she’s working as the league’s receptionist, she’s thinking about you. It’s not her fault that browsing through your social medias is far more interesting than forwarding emails. Of course, she makes sure to keep them in a separate tab to switch off of them second anyone walks into the room. Just because all of her co-workers, as well as her boss, know that she slacks off doesn’t mean they need to catch her in the act. Battling is a different story, though, as her focus has no room to wander off there.

She’s kinda like a second mom to Poppy. The tot’s far too young to work an actual job, obviously, but she spends a good deal of her day at the league in the off chance that a challenger comes by. Most of the time, she’s sat around, doodling her team and parents and co-workers with crayons on printer paper. Rika spends quite a bit of time watching over her, making sure she’s not getting into too much trouble while praising her artistic talents. Rika makes sure she gets lunch and always sets her down for her afternoon nap and brings her home at the end of the day and whatnot.

That’s all to say, Rika inadvertently built up an attachment to the kid. She never thought she would want to be a mom, and she isn’t even sure if she really wants children of her own, considering being a babysitter isn’t nearly the same thing as being an actual parent, but taking care of Poppy always gets her thinking. For now, at least, she’s content being an aunt. If she ever saw you caring for Poppy, her heart might just explode. You’d simply be too cute, and it would also make her realize that she might have a thing for milfs.

She has a secret love for shitty romcoms. Once you’ve been together for awhile, she’ll invite you over for the night and put one on under the guise that you can make fun of how stupid and predictable it will be, but if you pay attention to her while watching, you’ll notice that the enjoyment she’s getting out of it is far from ironic. No matter how much you may poke or prod or tease, she will never admit it. She just wants you to think she’s cool, is that so much to ask for?

As for her slander, she doesn’t really understand memes. Like, you know the joke about parents always pulling the same face when you show them a meme? That’s Rika, she makes that face almost every time you try to show her something funny. It’s not like she isn’t online, or anything, she just doesn’t understand them.

Geeta, my favorite chairwoman with a voluminous shell of hair. No one knows how she cares for that behemoth, just like how no one knows how a good chunk of the wider pokemon community fail to understand her purpose in the games, but I digress.

As I believe I’ve said before, Geeta is a workaholic. Most of the time she’s tending to her league related duties, which results in little time spent together. When she eventually arrives home, tired but generally satisfied after a long day of work, she kisses you softly as a way to say “hello”, squeezing a bit of quality time in, before shutting herself away in her at-home office to continue working. Unfortunately, it falls to you to tear her away from her work when she’s clearly run herself ragged.

Thankfully, vacations happen pretty often, as she frequently travels to represent the Paldean league. It’s still work, but it gives her a great opportunity to spend time with you. Exploring new regions makes her feel like a kid, like she’s experiencing her journey across Paldea with her Glimmet in tow all over again. It reminds of her simpler days, causing a small, nostalgic smile to find its way onto her face. She encourages you to continue poking around on your own when she has to return to doing work.

Mentioned this in the past as well, but Geeta spoils you endlessly. Gift giving is one of her love languages. She can’t help but think of you when seeing adorable clothes and objects in shop windows and online stores, knowing the delightfully surprised expression you’d make when presented with the sudden gift, even though you should expect these things from her after being with each other for so long. It’s not like she’s struggling financially or anything, so why shouldn’t she?

Also, she loves spa dates. It lets her spend time with, spoil you, and relieve her incredible stress all at once. It’s the perfect date in her mind. Of course, she loves fancy dates, at high end restaurants and stuffy galas held by the league. She enjoys luxurious goods, the expensive, fine wine and food, and she also loves to see you dressed to the nines. But they don’t hold a flame to the love she has for relaxing with you at the end of a long day.

She’s very particular with her things. Like, everything within her office, both at the league and at home, is perfectly organized. The top of the expensive-looking wood is essentially pristine, all her fountain pens and other small knick knacks are kept in holders, and the drawers are full, although not overly so, of neatly filed papers organized alphabetically. She knows where everything is at all times, and can get irritated if someone moves them around. And yes, she has framed photos of you on her desk in both offices.

That being said, certain parts of her home, mostly closets, are messy and borderline overflowing. The closet that her clothes are in is neatly kept to prevent the finely pressed, sleeveless work shirts and blazers from getting wrinkled, but no other closet is safe. They are just full of random objects she doesn’t know what to do with. Normally, she prefers not to acknowledge their existence, simply smiling if you ever brought them up, but if you were to go through and organize them for her, she would marry you on the spot.

She just… she thinks about you a lot. Whenever there’s a slow moment in the day, she’s thinking of you. When she’s moving from point A to point B or transitioning between tasks, she’s thinking of you. When the work place spirals into hectic chaos, she’s thinking of you, because, Arceus help her, if she didn’t think of anything else, she would completely snap and maybe kill someone. Even when still hard at work, thinking about you and what you might be doing at work or home makes her feel at ease, helping her grapple with her ever-mounting stress.

Geeta slander, okay. Do you know how Mark Zuckerberg owns, like, 30 pairs of the same shirt that, despite looking incredibly simple, are all uber expensive? That’s Geeta, except it’s for her blazers. She has several pairs of them to ensure she always has a clean, ironed one available, which at least makes sense since they have to be dry-cleaned and all, but goddamn she’s put down a small fortune on the things.

Mela, as you would expect, is stubborn and hot-headed. Her reputation as a foul-mouthed delinquent sends most people packing, but if you manage to wiggle your way past her defenses, you’ll end up with an endlessly loyal friend (or girlfriend, in this case) who would move mountains for you.

This girl is incredibly possessive. If you ask her why, she’ll tell you that it’s to ensure that no one tried to mess with you, stopping others from making fun of or coming onto you before they even got the chance. Which is true and all, but she also just doesn’t like the idea of people getting too cozy with you. Simply put, she gets jealous easily. Not that she would ever admit it, as she’d sooner burn through every excuse under the sun before doing so.

She tends to come off rather, uh, strong, to say the least. No matter what she’s doing, she will look intimidating, even with her doofy walk. The day she asked you out, she marched up to you, face as menacing as ever, and just spouted out “go on a date with me!”, leaving no room for opposition (not that you would have said no, of course). It’s not her fault, really, she just has a bad case of resting bitch face. Speaking of your first date, it was kinda awkward, but in an endearing way. More likely than not, you didn’t really know who Mela was outside of her being a member of the team causing chaos for the school, as well as the fact that she was very, very intimidating. Naturally, you were pretty nervous during the date, afraid that saying the wrong thing would result in you being yelled at. Little did you know, Mela was also incredibly nervous, because you were just so pretty and kind and she really didn’t want to blow her chances with you.

Honestly, she doesn’t really have a ton of strong interests. There are things she likes to do, sure, but not enough to call them hobbies. And even then, a lot of them are activities that her friends really love, meaning she only bothers with them when hanging out. She likes these things enough, but most of her enjoyment comes from being with her friends and not the actual thing in question. Whatever you are passionate about, she’ll jump into. As long as you’re having fun, she’s happy.

It isn’t until after Team Star’s downfall that she begins to express her interest in art. She’s always liked drawing and painting and what not, but she never had the opportunity to get into it, mainly because her skills are rudimentary at best. Her only real experience with drawing in recent memory includes poorly doodling in the margins of spiral notebooks and worksheets, which prevented her skills from improving all that much.

It takes her awhile to break out of her shell and show people her work, as she’s afraid that they would point and laugh at her. Even though she could easily rip someone a new one if they so much as looked at her funny, she’s still afraid of falling into the cycle of bullying she was subjected to before. But she pushes past that fear, knowing that feedback from those that care will only help her improve. She shares more art with you than anyone else, so please be gentle with her. She works so hard on each piece, and is desperate to eat your praise up.

She’s a cuddle bug, one hundred percent. Do not mention that fact, though, because doing so would cause her to explode. She is supposed to be rough and tough, the deep cutting wit of her team that can force even the most self-confident individuals to run away crying. If people knew that she was a little spoon, that she liked to be snuggled as close as possible against her girlfriend behind closed doors, her reputation would be tarnished forever. She doesn’t even want her friends to find out, because she knows they would hold it over her head and tease her forever. And by friends, I mean all of them except for Eri, who would try to stop the others from teasing, an effort that would fail miserably.

Regarding slander, I’d say that Mela owns a ton of those “how to draw anime” books. She was super into them when she was younger, resulting in a lot of embarrassing old drawings. She hates them, but looks back at them sometimes to see how far her artistic abilities have come.

Eri, my beloved. She is peak gentle giant, strong and powerful and an absolute sweetheart by nature. She is your ride or die, willing to do anything she has to in order to keep you safe and happy.

This girl absolutely adores you. She gets drawn in by your natural strength and beauty, leading to her sheepishly introducing herself. Just like Mela, you’d find yourself intimidated by her presence at first, but when you actually get to know her you come to realize how sweet and kind she is. As soon as you’re friends, she would be willing to drop everything for you, and that sentiment only grows stronger when you get together. If you ever need anything, all you need do is ask, and she’ll take care of it, no questions asked.

I kinda implied it with the above, but Eri is actually kinda shy. She really doesn’t like being looked at, finding the stares of others to be intimidating. It was Atticus that came up with the idea of wearing a mask, which helped her feel way more comfortable being around others, despite it drawing in more attention. To be fair though, even if she didn’t wear it, people would still stare due to how tall and muscular she is. Over the years, she’s gotten better, more sociable, but talking to you early into your friendship as well as officially asking you out brought that side of her out again.

She’s a big ol’ teddy bear. She has the physique of a Greek god, and she uses all of those defined muscles to give the most mind-blowing hugs imaginable. With her arms around you, holding you closer than humanly possible, it’s impossible to feel cold or unsafe. She prefers to hold you closely, but has no issue with you sprawling out on top of her or trying to be the big spoon. She just wants to devolve into a tangle of limbs with you, regardless of what position you find yourselves in.

Of course, Eri is super into working out and staying fit. She lifts, she runs, she pumps iron, she does it all, and she loves it. Is she a gym rat? Not quite, but she’s been mistaken for one before. She wouldn’t ask you to join her outright, but she clearly wants you to join in. She’s a bit afraid to ask you directly in the fear that you’ll feel pressured to say yes. If you tag along, to her excitement, she will tone her regular routine down for your sake, not wanting you to feel too sore in the morning.

Also, she’s the type of person to wake up at the crack of dawn. She likes to start the morning off with a brisk jog. It’s her way of waking up instead of caffeine. You can’t stop her from untangling you from her arms upon waking up, no matter how much you may beg and plead for her to stay in bed with for just a little bit longer. She simply cannot be swayed.

She loves horror in concept, but absolutely hates it in practice. She can get pretty excited when sitting down to watch something like a horror movie, but as soon as anything scary happens, she’s out. Not literally, she will sit through the entire thing, but she has to grab a nearby pillow to hide behind when anything remotely scary happens to do so. If you are with her, she will cower behind you instead, essentially setting you down on her lap to more easily hide behind your shoulder..

Eri absolutely loves cute things. As evidenced by her princess-esque outfit and use of heal balls. That being said, Eri also thinks everything is cute. There’s the obvious, typical cute things she loves, like stuffed animals and frills and anything draped in pink or purple, but she also believes that her team of pokemon are cute, which, need I remind you, contains a beast that evolves by getting so furious that it fucking dies. Everything is cute in her world, and she will use everything in her power to keep that cuteness safe. The strong must protect the sweet and whatnot.

Slander? Well, I’d say that Eri accidentally breaks things regularly due to how strong she is, but everytime it happens she cries about it. She just feels so bad about it, even if everyone around her tells her that it’s fine because it was an accident.

Miriam is such a mess, but she’s trying her best. She’s kinda like Rika, in the sense that she has a failwife-esque energy about her. She melts under your attention, but that doesn’t stop her from blabbing about you to anyone who will listen.

Poor Miriam is tired and disappointed with her place in life, and it shows sometimes. All she wanted to be was a teacher, but she got shafted into the position of school nurse. Given, it was more or less her fault, considering that she was the one that failed the test. Truth be told, she didn’t study as much as she probably should have for the exam, but that doesn’t dull the sting of failure. She puts on the face of a school nurse during work hours regardless of her dissatisfaction, although doing so can get a bit awkward when faced with the academy’s older students.

That being said, when she finds her spark and decides to attempt the test again, she’s all into studying. If you were to help her out during this time, bringing her food and tea and encouraging her to take breaks to clear her mind, it would be much appreciated. Sure, she always tells others to take care of themselves, but that doesn’t mean that she’s good at it herself. Plus, your encouragement helps her keep going when she wants to throw in the towel. When she eventually passes the test, she’s gonna take you out on the best damn date the world has ever seen as thanks.

Regardless of where she’s at in life, she will come home and collapse on the couch, waiting for you to join her so she can blab about her day. When she’s working as a nurse, she’s bored and dissatisfied, wishing for more out of her work day. When she’s studying to become a teacher, she’s tired and mentally done with things, knowing that she will eventually have to go back to studying till her brain is fried even though she just got home from work. Comfort her please, she’s desperate.

Let it be known that she can fall fast, and she can absolutely fall hard. It doesn’t take much for her to take interest in someone, for her to flirt with you on a casual basis, but when she begins to form a crush, it’s the end for her. She’s tripping over herself whenever you’re around, and blushing up a storm whenever you’re on her mind. Everyone around her knows she has a crush the instant it forms, you included. She can see that her feelings are obvious, so she makes no real attempt to hide them from you. However, she won’t act on them, because she wants you to make the first move.

Once you do start dating, she talks about you constantly. Should anything come up that reminds her of you, even if just by the slightest bit, she’ll bring it up. Some of her coworkers find it endearing, and others can’t stand it (cough Raifort cough). Not that she notices, though, because she’s too busy talking about you to take their reactions into consideration. She’s also the type of person to refer to you as her wife even when you’re just dating.

She’s another cheerleader, but is more out there than the likes of Katy. She doesn’t just want you to know that she’s supporting you, she wants everyone around to know she’s got your back, because have you seen her wife? She’s absolutely killing it, look at how cool she is. Miriam is just incredibly supportive and wants to repay you for all the support you’ve given her, ready to hype you up as much as possible at a moment's notice. Of course, she’ll also force you to sit back and take care of yourself if she thinks you're in desperate need of a break.

Slander? Well, when she’s drunk, she turns into a basic bitch. She’ll move until she’s sitting right next to you, almost tripping several times in the process, so she can lean in close. She’ll run her fingers up and down your arm, her touch incredibly clumsy and sluggish, saying things like “you are SO funny” while laughing and kicking her feet after you say literally anything.

Dendra is also kind of a mess, but for a different reason. Because she’s a huge fitness nut and, essentially, a PE teacher, she often gets injured, making her more of a physical mess than a mental one.

She’s super energetic, always pumped up and ready for action. She could be coming back from a workout, exhausted as hell, but will instantly perk up and go in for round two if someone asked her to join them. It’s like she has an infinite fount of energy, because how else could she always be so active? She doesn’t sleep more than the average person or anything, neither does she bother with caffeine.

Unlike Eri, I would absolutely call Dendra a gym rat. She’s all about the grind. Working out is her favorite hobby, her happy place. On top of that, she’s extremely welcoming to anyone trying to get into fitness, wanting to help them find what works best for them. Also unlike Eri, she’s much more open about wanting you to join her workout sessions, to the point that she’s willing to beg.

You can always tell when she’s gotten injured by the way she greets you after work. Normally, she’ll rush through your home to find wherever you are, nearly tackling you into a hug. It’s been a long day and she missed you. But when she’s been injured, she sheepishly walks through the door, careful to avoid walking into the room you are in fully to try and hide the bandages from your line of sight.

In general, she’s just a really bad liar, and she lowers her head, like a child waiting to be scolded, when found out. She doesn’t like hiding things, especially from you, but she doesn’t want you to worry, either. Injury happens all the time in her line of work, making it something she’s grown accustomed to as well as expect. As such, she doesn’t want you worrying about each and every one of her scabs and bruises, even if she does like the way you dote on her.

She really likes to show her love for you. It’s not that she thinks you don’t know how much she cares for you, she just likes asserting it. Obviously, she does this through spending time with you, and being affectionate with you, and saying “I love you”, but she also likes to give you little gifts here and there. This obviously isn’t a problem, much less weird for a girlfriend to do. Rather, the issue is that food is included in that, and she’s an awful chef. She knows this, and tries to improve, but it’s still not great. Eat with caution.

Loves to talk about you to her friends. She doesn’t talk about you constantly, but it’s not uncommon for you to be brought up in conversation with the likes of Tulip and Miriam. Usually, it’s just in passing, but sometimes it’s about how she wants to do more for you, show her love in different ways. Tulip suggests getting dressed up and going out somewhere nice, but that isn’t really her style, and Miriam tries to help her improve her cooking skills, but the lessons never really go anywhere. Still, she values their support and advice, regardless of their effectiveness.

Like both of her friends, Dendra is big on taking care of yourself. It takes a lot of time and effort to keep your body happy and healthy, but it’s all worth it, because it will only result in you feeling better, and when you’re feeling better, it’s easier to uplift others. She greatly encourages you to start some kind of daily routine if you don’t already have one, and she will hold you to it.

In terms of slander, I’d say that she’s the type of person to easily forget dates. She’s got your birthday on lock, but that’s it. Expect her to show up to anniversaries and Valentines dates late with a bouquet of flowers she purchased on her way over.

Raifort, last but not least, is cryptic. I wouldn’t call her gothic, but she really reminds me of that one post about a goth being like “my love I crochet an anatomically correct heart for you” and her girlfriend responding with “aw thanks do u wanna go to target with me?” and I will not elaborate.

She’s got this veil of mystery about her, but that’s not intentional. She isn’t trying to make herself seem mysterious and cool, she just doesn’t like it when people are all up in her business. Yes, she’s looking for the Treasures of Ruin. Yes, she knows that they’re dangerous and could cause incredible amounts of chaos to fall upon the region at large. No, she won’t tell you why she wants them. If she wanted you to know, she would’ve told you already.

She will blab to you constantly about history and legendaries. When she’s not teaching or planning lessons, she’s reading up about these kinds of things, trying to absorb as much information as possible. According to her, most people aren’t cultured enough to understand the incredible importance and allure of historical records, meaning you are one of the few people who will seriously listen to her sudden info dumps.

Along with that, she furiously rants about how much she hates present day events being, well, present. For instance, she’ll complain about the understanding and utilization of the terastallization phenomenon because it happened in recent history. To her, the present just isn’t all that interesting, especially when compared to the vast richness of the past, making her lose interest in otherwise exciting events.

As much as I hate this word, she has a ton of unintentional rizz. If we’re being honest, your relationship only came to be because you decided she was the one for you after she talked about history for an hour straight in your general direction. She put in no effort into catching your attention, but she managed to do that anyways. She agrees to give dating a shot because you seemed to value the past, as evidenced by you listening to her spiel, and that’s reason enough for her to give you the time of day.

She isn’t a morning person, not in the slightest, which is obviously a conflict of interest due her being a school teacher. Her job requires her to get up and be at work in the early morning hours, resulting in her needing a lot of caffeine in order to stay awake, much less function properly. Because she’s so tired, she puts little effort into getting ready, hence why her hair is always messily tied up. She does, however, use care when putting on her favorite accessories.

Honestly? She’s a lowkey boomer at times. The internet is a wonderful invention that allows people to quickly gather information they otherwise might not have access to, and she recognizes that, but that doesn’t make her like it. She complains about kids these days relying on it too much to write their papers rather than going to the library and reading books, and about how they are always on their phones during class. She’s not anti-technology or anything, but that won’t stop her from saying shit like “it’s cause you’re always on that damn phone” when someone around, teacher or student, faces a problem.

It’s for that reason that she doesn’t text or call you all that often. She’d much rather come talk to you in person than use her phone if possible. If she can’t find you, she’ll text to ask where you are or when you’ll be available instead of just texting you what she wants to say. Her excitement for historical developments simply cannot be conveyed through modern technology.

Okay, slander (even though the above could already be considered slander whoopsie). Despite her hatred for the modern time period, she’s secretly a collector of Rae Dunn pottery. You know, the type of shit that’s, like, a coffee cup that says the word “coffee” on it in the most basic font imaginable? She loves that shit so much, and has spent an unreasonable amount of money to achieve her collection. No, she doesn’t have a problem, stop trying to insulate otherwise.

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punkeropercyjackson · 4 months

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.......This made me think of Duke and Stephanie because of the hat colors but the caption fits too,omg-

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achaotichuman · 5 months

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You know something I don't think I've heard anyone talking about.

Lady of Autumn/Tamlin/Helion threesome.

Imagine the Vanserra brothers walking through the halls of the Day palace, just chatting away about life and such (totally not gossiping over Lady Catherine's awful new hairstyle) then they pass their parent's room.

And Tamlin walks out completely shirtless.

They stare at him. He stares at them.

Tamlin very slowly begins to grin.

Lucien very slowly begins to die inside.

Eris- "Tamlin... what are you doing?"

Tamlin *mouth in a very wide grin that shows all his teeth*- "I've seen your mom naked."

Tamlin- *Turns to Lucien* "And I've seen your dad naked."

Now add a one-off summer night of Tamris who hooked up after getting drunk, and Tamcien getting together at some point. And all of a sudden Tamlin has all the cards in his hand.

Your mom? NO YOUR MOM ERIS!

Your dad? NO YOUR DAD LUCIEN!

Your brother? NO YOUR BROTHERS!

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heyshinichiran · 9 months

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"You be careful of that detective you grew up with"

#conan meeting ran's mom #eri giving ran a warning about shinichi #lol #detective conan #shinran #edogawa conan #ran mouri #kisaki eri #kogoro mouri #shinichi kudo #case closed #detco #dcmk #heyshinichiran #conan edogawa #eri kisaki #mouri ran #mouri kogoro #anime

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sagurus · 2 months

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I'm excited we're getting more magic kaito but I also have this suspicion things are going to be introduced that I'm just going to. ignore. But also maybe not! Who knows!

#I'm super excited for more Aoko #I'm actually kind of disappointed that her mom was introduced?#like this is in part because I like my headcanon that her mom passed away when she was little #but it's also because it feels like her mom is an au version of Eri #kind of like how despite different personality aoko appears to be a copy of Ran too #they used to look a lot different from each other #but now there's loads of points where I see a pic of aoko and without context I'd think it's Ran #including some of the ones I'm seeing from teasers about the new chapter #basically it feels like gosho is doing a lot of recycling of detective conan stuff to pad out magic kaito #but maybe i'm jumping the gun here #nefrit talk #anyway the double edged sword of me enjoying this series is that #it's how I dislike so many of gosho's choices that motivates me to do so much of my fanwork and speculation that i do #and therefore each update i'm braced because I'm excited for the content but also I know theres going to be things where i'm like #anyway let's just forget he even did that. (or twist it out of context to suit my preference for the story)#such is the joy of fanwork

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number1villainstan · 11 months

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we all know that chisaki had a bad childhood, pops tried but he wasn't a good parent, yakuza ideals and the streets left an indelible imprint on his psyche, yadda yadda yadda

but guys. listen. imagine how bad it would be if he'd grown up with his sibling(s)

#shitpost #chisaki kai #shie hassaikai #bnha pops #eri's mom #idk her tag #bnha #kai chisaki #i've got ideas for this someone @ me later so i can remember to put them down

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ofduskanddreams · 10 months

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This Lovely Enigma

For @catboyjamesbond. The prompt: Royalty AU Azris, Eris is king and needs a consort. Azriel is the one who catches his eye.

Azris ✦ Rated M ✦ 2.5k words (yeah ik) ✦ on AO3

"The Ruler shall take a consort within a year of their coronation lest they forfeit the title to the Heir. The Crown is too heavy a burden to bear alone."

Eris knows that particular stipulation so well that he sees it in his dreams and behind his eyelids whenever he blinks.

His crown hits the ornately carved walnut throne with a dull thud as Eris looks to the paned glass dome of the ceiling above the dais in the empty throne room and groans.

A wry laugh echoes from his left, “Ah, let me guess: woe is me, I am but a king facing the truly arduous task of choosing a partner from a selection of the most competent and beautiful of my subjects.”

Callan has been Eris’s most loyal guard for nearly a decade. Eris would never allow such flippant sarcasm in public or from any other member of his staff, but Callan is the closest thing he has to a friend, not counting Eris’s brothers.

“I just don’t understand why my ancestors felt that such a useless clause would be one of the few immovable laws. Why do I need a consort in order to keep the title that is rightfully mine? I’ve been perfectly fine on my own so far,” Eris allows a granule of petulance to lace his words.

Cal just smiles and softly shakes his head. It’s unsettling to witness because that gesture is identical to one his mother often makes.

“There’s nothing that can be done to change it, you know that. It’s been six months since your father’s passing—stars smile gently on his soul even though he was a right bastard—and now that the mourning period is coming to a close you know you can’t afford to waste another minute. This way you are giving yourself a little time to get to know them at least.”

“If I meet them today,” Eris points out, tracing the vines carved into the throne’s arm with a ringed finger.

Knowing it’s better to voice his feelings than quash them, Eris sighs and begrudgingly continues the thought, “What if I can’t stand any of the people I meet today? Aren’t they all the children of the gentry? I don’t care about liking them, but I need to be able to tolerate them. You know how I hate sycophants, and that’s all they’re going to be—hoping that they can woo their way into the royal family and a better title.”

“Defeatism does not suit you, dear.” Serafina Vanserra, the Queen Mother, approaches the throne at an elegant glide.

Eris rises and descends the three steps of the dais. “And black did not suit you, Mother. It’s wonderful to see you in color again.”

She’s donned a wine-red gown for the occasion, the rich color making her fair skin appear lit from within. The black they’d been wearing always made her look sickly pale. This, Eris thinks, is a very welcome change.

Her lightly painted lips tug up in a smirk. “Flattery, while always welcome, will not divert my attention, Eris. Try having a little more faith in humanity. Giving up before the race has begun is the quickest way to ensure defeat.”

“I know,” Eris agrees. She’s right, of course, she is. He knows that he frequently walks the line between realism and pessimism and, while such an attitude guarantees that he is always prepared for worst-case scenarios and puts secondary measures in place for every plan, it is not an ideal outlook for the day ahead of him.

His mother raises a brow, waiting.

“I promise to try,” Eris tells her. “I wouldn’t have bothered setting up this whole affair if I did not intend to make an attempt. It would have been far more efficient to simply select a name from a list but, believe it or not, my heart is not made of stone.”

“I know that, darling.” Her hand is soft and warm, the touch to his cheek a brief allowance of the affection that they’d been denied for so many years. “But it’s my hope that you will permit others to learn this as well.”

The ‘now that he’s gone’ hangs unspoken in the air between them.

“I hope so too,” Eris replies. It’s the best he can do while remaining honest.

Hope, an ember banked for years upon years has, against every odd, retained its glow. Eris might even go as far as to say that, since his father’s death, the ember has sparked a flame.

✦ ✦ ✦

Azriel tries his best to hold still while his mother fusses with his jacket collar, but he’s restless.

“There,” Zahra smiles proudly as she steps to the side so he can view his reflection in the long mirror.

He scarcely recognizes the man staring back at him. His typically unruly hair is swept back off his forehead and tamed by something that smells faintly sweet. The clothes he’s wearing are finer than anything he’s owned before. The jacket is sapphire blue, laced up the back in gold—the same gold laces that begin at his wrists and end at his forearms.

He’d thought the process of donning the garment ridiculously complicated, but Azriel can’t help thinking that the effect might be worth the effort. He looks… elegant? Everything is tighter than he’s used to. The jacket clings to the curve of his waist, and the breadth of his shoulders. The trousers are impossibly soft and fit like a second skin. His boots are supple black leather and buffed to a shine.

It’s not just the clothes though. What really makes his reflection so foreign is the tint on his lips and cheeks, making it appear like he’s slightly flushed; it’s the hint of kohl smudged into his lashes and bringing a new brightness to his eyes.

“My beautiful boy, my Azriel. Look at you,” his mother murmurs and the rosiness of his cheeks darkens at the sheer pride in her voice.

“Thank you,” for this, for everything. The emotional rasp of his words embarrasses him.

It’s a public secret that Azriel is Lord Blackwell’s bastard despite his father’s begrudging formal claim. He’s certain that, had the decision been left to his father alone, he would have turned them out on the street. It had only been his paternal grandmother, to whom his mother was and is chief caregiver, threatening to change her will and cut him off that made the lord claim Azriel as his own.

Sometimes, less often now than when he was young, Azriel wonders if life may have been better had they been forced to fend for themselves. It’s a notion he quickly shakes off. Who’s to say what could have happened? It was pointless to dwell upon.

“I’ve raised you for this, there’s no need to be anxious.” She takes his fidgeting hands in her own, thumbs tracing arcs over the pale web of scars.

“I know,” Azriel assures her, dropping her hands with a squeeze to pull on his gloves. Knowing that he is thoroughly prepared has no effect on how he feels though.

Only a fool wouldn’t be nervous before being presented as a potential consort to the king.

Azriel has caught glimpses of the then-prince now-king over the years, but there’s one memory that stands above all the rest:

He was five and hiding from his brothers. Azriel had wandered into the stable as he often did and climbed the rickety ladder into the hayloft.

Unlike all those previous afternoons spent up there, however, the hayloft was already occupied. A red-haired boy was sitting on his heels on the far side, his hand outstretched to something in the hay.

“What are you doing?” Azriel asked as he approached.

The boy startled, his honey-colored eyes narrowing at Azriel. “Who are you?”

“My name is Azriel. Who are you?”

“You don’t know who I am?”

“Should I?”

The boy had laughed then and beckoned him over to come see.

One of the barn cats had given birth to a litter of kittens. Azriel forgot all about his brothers as they passed the afternoon watching the kittens stumble around each other as their mother took turns licking them down.

It was only after the boy left that Azriel realized he’d never been told his name.

The next time he saw the boy, a few months later, he was crossing the west courtyard with his mother.

“Bow!” She hissed at him, dropping into a graceful curtsey as the boy and two guards walked past them. Azriel bent at the waist, waiting for his mother to rise before straightening his spine.

“Who was that, Mother?”

She looked at him, astonished. “That was Prince Eris. One day he will be our king.”

“Oh.”

It’s childish but, as Azriel makes his way down to the carriage his grandmother has arranged to take him to the palace, he can’t help wondering if Eris will remember him. If, maybe, he will look at Azriel and be reminded of golden dust motes and the sweet smell of hay just as Azriel is whenever he sees the king.

He chides himself for being foolish as the carriage trundles through the city streets. He cannot afford to let something as asinine as sentiment distract him. This is his only opportunity to secure a better life for his mother, and he refuses to jeopardize it because of one afternoon a lifetime ago, even if that afternoon is one of the best he’s ever had.

✦ ✦ ✦

Eris smiles politely as the next prospect is introduced. The firstborn of Lord Arminta has an education overseen by a herd of tutors and an admittedly impressive number of instruments they play proficiently. They’re beautiful in the way a painting is beautiful—attention grabbing and pleasing to the eye—but Eris carries out a brief conversation with them as he has with everyone else who has been escorted through the throne room doors and feels nothing.

As they go to join the other dozen prospects already milling about the refreshment tables, Eris leans over to ask his mother, “How many more are there?”

“You’re about halfway through.”

Eris swallows his groan, kings aren’t allowed. Callan’s posted by the doors and Eris looks at him with a subtle nod, signifying that he should send the next one in.

A hush falls over the room as the doors swing open to reveal what may just be the most striking person Eris has ever seen. Familiarity nags at him but he can’t recall why.

“Azriel Blackwell, he is the son of Lord Blackwell,” his mother supplies as she’s done for all the others.

Azriel.

Somehow he knows that name, but he’s too distracted by the sight of his present to wonder about the past. Sharp hazel eyes watch him from a face that would not have been out of place on one of the statues in the sculpture gallery. This is a man who has been crafted by a mastered and magnanimous hand. His clothes are well-tailored, hinting at the power of lean muscles and showcasing elegantly proportioned limbs.

The way he moves, grace belying strength, reminds Eris of a mountain lion, and yet those lovely eyes betray him. He’s not as confident as he is pretending to be, but Eris can hardly fault him for that.

Before the thought is fully formed, Eris stands as Azriel stops before the dais. He’s remained seated for the others but something is urging him to go to him so he does.

Azriel’s eyes widen before they drop to the floor, and he quickly folds into a bow.

Eris doesn’t stop until he’s only an arm’s length away. “Rise,” he bids. His voice is softer than intended.

Azriel does, but his eyes remain fixed on Eris’s boots. Eris is only an inch or two taller than him which is a nice change.

“Have we met before?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Once, when we were children.” Azriel’s voice is rich and smooth, and Eris grins a little because he finds it pleasing.

“Azriel,” Eris ponders aloud. It’s a beautiful name, unusual too. So why can’t he… “Kittens in the hayloft.”

Finally, Azriel looks up at him and there’s a questioning intensity in his gaze that sends a thrill up Eris’s spine. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Eris’s smile widens, and he dares to hope it’s that expression which causes a soft grin to spread on Azriel’s face.

“By the stars,” Eris muses, scarcely resisting the urge to trace the curve of Azriel’s lower lip with his thumb, to press and see if that mouth would open to him.

“Is something wrong, Your Majesty?” Azriel inquires carefully.

“Far from it.” It’s just that his memory of a small scrawny boy with dirt on his forehead and a scraped knee poking through a hole in his trousers is difficult to reconcile with the person who stands before him now. “You’re rather exquisite, you know.”

This time, Eris allows himself an indulgence. He brushes a dark curl off Azriel’s forehead where it had fallen out of place with his bow.

Whether Azriel’s beautiful blush is the result of the compliment or Eris’s touch, Eris doesn’t care—either is a delightful prospect.

“Your Majesty is too kind,” Azriel says, dipping his head as if it will conceal the color on his golden brown cheeks.

“I assure you I am no such thing,” Eris huffs a laugh. “But if you fear my words are contrived, allow me to press upon you the sincerity of my confession over tea?”

“Tea, Your Majesty?” Azriel looks confused and Eris thinks it’s rather adorable.

“Yes.” Eris glances over his shoulder, giving his mother a pointed look which is met with a pleased grin. “I’m very curious to learn more about you, Azriel. If you’ll do me the honor of joining me?” On impulse, Eris holds out his hand.

“The honor is mine, Your Majesty. I find myself plagued by a similar curiosity.” There’s a hint of a smirk in Azriel’s polite smile, an edge of something that Eris cannot wait to unearth.

Azriel takes his hand but, to Eris’s dismay, he’s wearing gloves. That won’t do. Eris needs this man’s skin beneath his fingers. He takes Azriel’s wrist in one hand and tugs off the glove with the other, bowing to press a lingering kiss to his scarred knuckles.

Eris’s thumb trails over the ridges and divots. When he glances up at Azriel, he’s surprised to see the man’s eyes wide in horror. That won’t do either.

Of course, Eris had anticipated that he’d worn the gloves for a reason, but he didn’t care about how the scars felt though he was curious to know how they got there and knew he wouldn’t like the eventual answer.

Holding Azriel’s gaze, Eris lifts his hand to his lips this time. “Beautiful,” he says, then kisses the word into the scarred skin.

Azriel inhales sharply; the sound wavering a little even as the tense set of his shoulders vanishes.

Not yet willing to release this lovely enigma named Azriel, Eris tucks his hand into the crook of his elbow. “Shall we get that tea, then?”

“It would be my pleasure,” Azriel says, fingers flexing on Eris’s arm.

Oh yes, I intend to be.

“The pleasure,” Eris lets some of the hunger stirring in his gut fill his gaze, “is all mine, Azriel.”

✦ ✦ ✦

tagging: @damedechance @ablogofsapphicpanic @iftheshoef1tz @panicatthenightcourt @moonpatroclus @the-lonelybarricade @krem-does-stuff @octobers-veryown @foundress0fnothing @melonsfantasyworld @fieldofdaisiies @lady-riel @queercontrarian @valkyrieassassin @brokeneveningstars @areyoudreaminof @itsthedoodle @xtaketwox @talons-and-teeth @thelovelymadone

#azris #azris fanfiction #azris fanfic #azriel x eris #eris x azriel #eris vanserra #eris acotar #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel's mom #lady of the autumn court #lady vanserra #acotar fanfiction #acotar #royalty au #acotar au #acotar ao3 #kate's celebratory drabbles series

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