#ever later on and its a revelation for her. This is the shit that nat and I like hide in our hovels and teethe on

[faarkas]

hilary show me the forbidden content of the fwb valenzo fic, i need it NOW 🤲

rules: post the barebones plot of your wips and let people send you an ask with the title that intrigues them the most and then post a snippet/tell them something about it! post

@arklay @morvaris

OHHHH RENA, LEAH, AND NICO,,,, Pandora’s box u have opened :/ I’ll give like. three chunks since the three of u asked but be warned…..ITS CRINGE

ANYWAY. I give you some of the beginning of the date, after the date, and them on his couch. Its almost 3k. Some nsft ish stuff under the cut. no smut but they do be getting kinda frisky. also they're a lil tipsy. c'est la vie. If any of you actually make it through any of this and don't immediately regret it I'll owe you a life debt

Also so far the plot is: Val gets ready to go on a date, is a lil nervous, calls Lorenzo for advice and like the absolute well-meaning dumbass he is he suggests he bring his date and they go on a double date. Their dates end up TOTALLY wrong for them and actually better suited for each other (stupid corpo financial dudebro who comes back up later and a very shallow model. not to rely on stereotypes or anything. also she has the same color eyes as val just so u can laugh with me.) and they end up like, making out with each other in the corner of the restaurant. And then valenzo leaves and hooks up AHSKDKAJ and agree to the whole fwb arrangement ™️ BUT THEN. Val’s dad shows up (very bad no good man) and is like pwease help me i’m so pathetic and she reluctantly agrees. And that’s where we’re at now but there’s hijinks and there’s going to be a lil love triangle moment and it’s just. Listen if u wanna know more u should probably dm me at this point it’s so convoluted but also not AGDJFKWBK

The air is still warm, golden light painting the sides of the buildings as the sun starts to set, but Val can’t help but shiver a little bit as the breeze nips at her darkly nyloned legs, goosebumps forming over her skin. She’d decided on wearing some cheeky thigh highs along with everything else, the lacy band keeping them up just peeking out from under her skirt when she twists the right way and making her feel a little sexy.

It could just be the cool breeze, but it could also be the anticipation of the evening. It’s almost 7:30, and she’s outside the restaurant, trying to wait patiently for anybody to show up as the last corpos make their way past her with dead eyes and crinkled suits. She inspects her nails to distract herself, trying to resist the herculean urge to pick at the fresh coat of black polish while she ignores the dig of the skinny strap of her purse digging into her bare shoulder.

A somewhat distant call of her name pricks her ears up, looking up to see Lorenzo waving to her cheerfully from down the street, a blonde girl at his side. Val zooms in with her kiroshis as she waves back, eager to get a look of Lorenzo Date No. 493 and see if she can glean anything from her before she actually has to talk to her.

She’s really beautiful with her glowy pale purple optics and long blonde hair, honestly she really looks like she could be a model with how long her legs are, the short bodycon light blue dress she’s wearing helping to show them off. A quick scan on her reveals that her name is Erica. Of course Lorenzo would bring a very hot girl with a pretty name to her date, Val internally laments as they continue to get closer with each step.

Erica is tall too, with her heels she’s only a couple inches shorter than him. She tries to stamp down a flicker of anxiety, and another weird feeling she can’t place when Lorenzo tilts his head down to murmur something in Erica’s ear that makes her laugh, the big hand he has on her waist squeezing and pulling her closer.

He looks really good too honestly with how he’s dressed sharply in all black, not too formal but just dressy enough to be classy, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up halfway to show off his heavily tattooed forearms.

“Goddamn. Lookit you, Val. I love this skirt.“ Lorenzo says warmly when they come to a stop in front of her, casting a quick look over her outfit.

“Don’t look so bad yourself.” Val counters with a small smile, starting feeling a little awkward and self conscious in front of two hot people now, even if one of those hot people is one of her closest friends.

A beat of silence accompanies her thanks, Val trying to figure out how to introduce herself smoothly just as Lorenzo mercifully jumps into action.

“Oh god, please pardon my absolutely fuckin’ terrible manners. Erica, this is my friend Valerie. She’s the netrunner extraordinaire I’ve told you about.” He gestures to Val with the hand he doesn’t have wrapped around Erica’s waist. “Val, this is the lovely Erica. She runs in the fashion circuits, does some modeling for Avante."

Val sniffs as they start the walk to Lorenzo’s place in thoughtful silence, the rhythmic sound of her heels clicking on the sidewalk and his shuffling steps providing a weirdly comforting soundtrack.

“Hey don’t take that personally, okay?” Lorenzo says a couple minutes later when she sniffs hard, her mascara starting to burn her eyes a little.

Really, she's been holding it together really good so far. It's just the way her eyes keep tearing up is going to ruin her mascara, and her nose is starting to run, and her hands are too full to rub at either of the offending parts of her face.

The way she feels like she's just becoming more and more pathetic is painful. Her date is back there with his tongue down that models throat, and she’s doing what feels like a walk of shame to Lorenzo’s place with arms and a purse full of stolen food and alcohol, with her makeup running.

“It’s just…kinda hard not to, y’know?” She says roughly, sniffing hard again.

Like, is she really that undesirable or something? She doesn’t really think she’s the prettiest girl on the block but she does look pretty good tonight. Better than Erica, even with her mile long legs and perfect skin and–

“I know, but you didn’t do a single thing wrong. You look like a trillion bucks, Val, and you’re always a class act.” Lorenzo’s gentle words cut through her thoughts like a knife through butter.

The compliment makes her chest flutter a little bit as she looks up at him, seeing a couple very dim stars in the sky above him as they walk. Honestly, they probably aren’t even stars. More than likely just orbital stations. Still cool, but not as neat as real stars would be.

“That’s sweet of you to say, Enzo.” Val teases with a cheeky smile, thankful that it’s too dark for him to see her raccoon eyes.

Lorenzo gives her a look, quirking his brow and adjusting the hefty sushi under his arm while he brushes the back of a tattooed hand against her upper arm. “Oh, c’mon, I mean it. Don’t you ‘enzo’ me.”

She giggles, thankful that her eyes are drying up now. Though that probably won’t last for super long.

“Listen, she was fucking annoying but…I’m sorry about Erica.”

He just shrugs, looking a little defeated.

“Don’t be, it wasn’t gonna work anyway. Trips to France every year? I can only manage to get home to see my family a couple times a year, and even that can be kinda tough sometimes" He pauses for a second. "She didn’t even know what a wrench was.”

“Like… the maintenance tool?”

“The very same.”

A laugh works its way out of her before she can stop it, the ridiculousness of the situation finally hitting her until she can’t stop laughing, leaning into his side to keep steady when her heel slips on the concrete sidewalk and she teeters a little bit, Lorenzo’s free arm snaking out to wrap around her waist and right her before she goes down with their dinner.

“H-Hey, don’t drop the goods.” He says, amusement clear in his voice as he starts to laugh with her.

“Sorry, it’s just ridiculous. All of this is so ridiculous.” She says as her phone starts to vibrate insistently from inside of her purse. “Zuzu, can you look? My arms are full.”

“Thats better, much prefer that nickname, especially comin’ from you.” He says as he fishes into her purse for her phone, the bottles of sake jostling and clinking as he searches for it. The blue glow casting sharp shadows across his features a few seconds later.

Val throws back another shot of sake as she sniffles loudly, the starting montage of The Princess Bride and all the mushy ‘as you wish’ stuff choking her up more than it ever has before as she plucks another piece of sushi out of the boat that’s nestled securely in her lap, her legs in Lorenzo’s lap with his sushi boat resting on top of them as they lounge on his shitty old red couch. 

It’s just kind of like, when’s it going to be like this for her? When is she going to get her whirlwind romance with someone who actually cares enough about her to invent some kind of code that secretly means ‘I love you’ or just be devoted enough to love her no matter what, over years? It’s just not realistic, she knows that, but the alcohol mixing with some long starved and pushed away feelings of wanting to love and be loved that have been brought to the surface with this latest rejection are making her a little crazy. 

Val hastily swipes a hand across her eyes, shoving a few pieces of sushi into her mouth as she does in some poor attempt to disguise the movement. Lorenzo had been kind enough to let her use some of his makeup remover when they were getting all comfortable so she wouldn’t be sitting there with burn-y mascara eyes for hours, so at least she can cry in peace now, though she still doesn’t really want to bring down the mood more than it already has been. 

Lorenzo’s been uncharacteristically quiet too, just largely eating and drinking and offering a few quiet comments about the movie as they sit all tangled up together.

“Hey, you alright?” He finally breaks the silence, resting a large very warm hand on her nyloned calf and squeezing a little when she reaches for the nearest bottle of half empty sake to pour another shot. 

She’s clearly already feeling the effects and Verde warned her about drinking too much of this stuff too quickly before, so she figures this will be her last one. She’s not a big drinker anyway, so this is good enough for her. Lorenzo on the other hand, has already downed most of his bottle– He is a lot bigger than her, and usually pretty good at holding his drink, but she can see even in the dimness of his living room that he’s starting to get a little glassy eyed too.

“I’m good, I swear.” Val says, offering him a watery smile as her stomach churns a little at how unhappy and almost suffocated she’s starting to feel. Though not unhappy that she’s here, she’s never unhappy to be with Lorenzo, she’s just…tired. To the bone and spirit kind of tired and bruised.

And the alcohol that she had been hoping would loosen her up and relax her is just making her feel weepy and kinda heavy.  

“Tell it to me straight, I’ve been tryin’ to pretend not to notice you cryin’ for the last ten minutes now.” 

Val sighs, setting the half empty boat on the low table beside them in front of the couch before flopping back into the couch, settling in comfortably with the lack of springs to resist her. Maybe she is just feeling miserable enough to actually share her feelings, or it’s the safe environment, or maybe the alcohol, but she starts to spill before she can stop herself.

“It’s j-just, like– I want this kind of love. Or something. I just want someone to care about me and like…” Val trails off, feeling a little embarrassed that she’s actually voicing this. A short glance to him reveals that he’s just watching her interestedly, waiting politely for her to continue. “Like my last date before this just stood me up. I saw him walk in, look at me, and then just turn around and leave. Am I that hideous or something? I-It’s Night City, I don’t expect syn-roses and candles and some happy suburban fairytale life or anything like that, I…I don’t know. And I love my toys, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just kinda tired of relying on them and my own hands to get any kind of satisfaction… but maybe that’s just my lot. God, this is so embarrassing– I’m sorry.”  

Lorenzo pats her leg gently, and she almost thinks she can see him tearing up in the low light of the room. “Don’t gotta apologize, Val. I get it. I really get it. You deserve someone that’ll treat you right, more than anybody else in this fucked up city.”

“Oh, I dunno if I’d go that far-” 

“No no no no no, you do. You really do.” Lorenzo says so earnestly it takes her aback for a second. 

“I mean…there was absolutely no chance of any kind of real love with Chris, you saw how corpo through and through he was, I think I was just really looking forward to getting laid. It’s been so long. Ugh, that’s another TMI... I’m sorry.” 

Deciding to just be quiet, Val bites at her lip, tasting some of the waxy residue of her lipstick and lingering chemicals from the makeup remover as embarrassment starts to gnaw at her properly now, her stomach churning a little with the sudden anxiety in her gut. And Lorenzo isn’t saying anything, just looking thoughtful.

Honestly if the floor could just open up and swallow her whole right now that might be good. Or maybe she should just excuse herself and teeter her way home to bed. It’s really not far.    

“Maybe I should-” 

“We could sleep together.” Lorenzo blurts out, interrupting her, his eyes immediately widening as she looks at him with surprise, the hand he still has resting on her calf pulling away to cover his mouth instead. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I mean it’s an option, you’re fucking stunning and I’d love to make you feel good…but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable- and we’ve been drinking and I shouldn’t have said anything and, um-” 

His words are a little muffled by his hand, a terrible silence falling on them as the movie plays in the background and she tries to figure out how to react. It’s not that he’s not handsome- On the contrary, Lorenzo is gorgeous, but he’s also just… Lorenzo. She’s never really thought about him that way before. But the idea….

She won’t deny that it’s appealing, he looks and smells so good and she’s so needy that this is becoming more of a good idea the more she thinks about it. Friends sleep together sometimes, right? It’s not a big deal.

Or that’s what she tells herself as the next words leave her mouth. “I...think I’d like that.” 

The mortification still on his face melts into surprise. “Wh- Are you sure? I’m really tryin’ not to be a creep or anything.” 

“Do you want to do this?” Val asks as she picks the half emptied trays of sushi up from her lap and calves and sets them on the table with the sake.

“Yeah, I mean I feel kinda responsible for you not getting laid tonight, and I’ve got hands and a mouth and a working dick. It’d be my pleasure.” He says earnestly and Val adjusts herself, sliding her legs out of his lap so she can crawl into it instead, her heart thumping in her ears.   

Lorenzo looks up at her, his optics glowing in the low light of the room, the light from the TV highlighting his profile handsomely as his hands move to rest on her waist, and the skin exposed from her crop top. They’re so warm, and oh god they so big they almost encircle her entire waist. 

Bolstered by the liquid courage now, the feel of his hands on her waist, and the way Lorenzo is gazing at her like she’s responsible for hanging the stars in the sky, she leans in, the loose lock of wavy pink hair framing her face falling forward and brushing against his cheek as she tentatively kisses him.

His lips are surprisingly soft, warm and gentle against hers as he returns the kiss, his hands tightening on her waist. A warm tingly feeling washes over her as the kiss gets deeper, the alcohol on his breath and how good it all feels making her head spin. She wraps her arms around his neck loosely as she moves her lips against his, finding an easy rhythm so quickly it surprises her a little bit. 

Val pulls away after a few seconds to catch a breath, her underwear already starting to feel a little damp and sticky as they look at each other cautiously, Val trying to ignore the creeping feeling in the back of her mind that things are not going to be the same after this. 

“Is this okay?” She asks when Lorenzo uncharacteristically says nothing, just breathing heavily as he stares at her lips. 

His eyes dart up to lock with hers for a split second before they flick back down to her lips and he pushes up to kiss her, the movie utterly forgotten as he kisses her so gently it takes her aback for a second, hunger and desire clear in the way he’s pulling her close now, one arm snaking around her waist while the other slides up between her shoulder blades and he holds her body tightly against his solid chest, the tenderness in how his lips move against hers making her feel like she’s just going to melt from the intensity of it.

#also wrote half of this while fucked up and on morphine SO DGKSHDKDLA It honestly needs a rewrite. The dialogue sooo cringe but also #val is having a no good terrible day and shes a lil tipsy and lorenzo literally just says the most random stupid shit always AKSHGDLG #Anyway. I need to learn how not to like. put down my shit as i offer it i think i do it just to make sure everybody knows that i know it #can be better but like. Eye roll. ANYWAY THANKS FOR ASKING ABOUT THIS. MY NEW SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON. He goes down on her for her first time #ever later on and its a revelation for her. This is the shit that nat and I like hide in our hovels and teethe on #also sorry to model erica for specifically making her just to throw her under the bus. TBH U PROBABLY NEED SO MUCH VALENZO CONTEXT FOR ANY #OF THIS TO MAKE SENSE BUT. GOOD LUCK. SORRY. #hil writes #ocstuff

[highdramas]

your song, vol. 1 | rockstar!bucky

𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

rockstar!bucky barnes x fem!reader, some slight peter parker x reader in later parts (unrequited)

word count: 2429

warnings: references to sex, language, references to drug and alcohol use in later parts, age gap, slow burn-ish

summary: it’s not summer without you. or, that’s what your favorite rockstar always says. it’s all happening.

it is the summer of 1978, and everyone calls you rhiannon, and it has never occurred to you to mind.

really, it was sort of nice. rhiannon is a daredevil. rhiannon goes on tour with bands. rhiannon inspires songs and reads tarot and knows how to light up a room with a smile. rhiannon gets asked if she’s, like, the rhiannon. the rhiannon who rings like a bell through the night.

you’re not. but you’re not going to tell them that.

and, sure, you know that you’re capable of all of these things-- but it’s different when they’re calling you rhiannon.

it’s different when he is calling you rhiannon.

you’ve become somewhat of a myth in the california rock ‘n roll scene. groupies have flocked to you-- and you have somewhat rejected the term. found it degrading, the way that rock stars and fans spoke about groupies. it had been your personal mission during the summer of 1977 to change the way that men in rock spoke about women.

the summer that you met bucky barnes.

really, it wasn’t bucky that you had set your eyes on initially. initially, you’d shown up with his friend, steve rogers, the drummer. you and your group of band aids (you were still coining the name) had an in backstage and the second you had seen steve, you were a bit smitten. he wasn’t your typical rockstar. there was something kind about him, something genuine. he looked at you less like he wanted to fuck you and more like he wanted to know you.

it wasn’t until later that you met bucky. later, once you set out on tour with them.

when you found out that steve had a girl back home and he was simply being kind to you, it had reminded you of your mission. your mission to show all of these men what exactly women had to contribute to music and its existing scene-- and that it was more than being a side piece. more than being a fun distraction on the road.

that was the moment that you swore you would not fall in love with a rockstar.

the hotel you all had checked into was absolutely lavish. it was extravagant and beautiful, high ceilings and marbled floors and the shiniest doorknobs that you’ve ever seen. it’s 3:30 in the morning and the girls-- america and kate being your favorite of the whole bunch-- are out with the guys at the bar. you’re sure that they’re requesting brooklyn songs-- later on, you’d give bucky shit for suggesting that their band name should just be brooklyn. you give steve even more shit for going along with it.

after the revelation with steve, normally, you’d be in the mood to party. but you feel like shit and you fell asleep wrong on the bus and your neck is killing you. you don’t want to be a vibe killer, so you tell the girls to go on without you and maybe you’ll catch up with them later.

instead, at some point, you pad down to the pool. there is one lone figure sitting by an illuminated neon sign. it’s only when you’re within feet that you realize that it’s bucky.

of all of the members of brooklyn, you’d gotten to know bucky the least in the past week that you’ve been on the road with them. steve, sam, and natasha were all nice-- nicer than nice. steve and sam especially, but you knew why.

natasha is nice-- direct and passionate about what she does. and what she does is sing. you always said that brooklyn would be nothing if it wasn’t for nat’s husky vocals and insane songwriting.

then there’s bucky. the guitarist.

kate has been touring with brooklyn awhile now-- went with them on the europe leg. now she’s with their manager, clint, and she seems to know all the gossip. when you asked what was up with bucky-- why he was so quiet, why he didn’t like to party with the others, kate had given you that thousand watt smile and said-- “alright, don’t tell anyone about this, ‘specially buck, but he’s sober. couple years now, from what i hear. it’s real hard for him, being on the road.”

then, your mouth had made a slight o, you had nodded your head, and kate shone like the light she is before dashing off to find clint.

you’re brought back to that conversation now, seeing him hunched over on a reclining chair. you see that he is hugging his legs, smoking a cigarette. a bottle of root beer sits beside him on the ground.

your feet are working before your brain is, and before you know it, you’re standing before him. if he notices your presence, he doesn’t act like it.

“got one to spare?”

that’s when he finally glances up at you. his face is mostly unreadable-- furrowed brows and a set jaw, long brunette hair that almost brushes his shoulders. he is quite handsome. he’s the kind of man that you think is built for moments like these-- sitting by pools, pink neon radiating off his face. the kind of handsome that is a little bit intimidating. not like steve, who is all softness and warm smiles.

you sink onto the pool chair beside bucky as he nods. he passes you a cigarette and you pop it between your lips. bucky’s zippo seems to come out of nowhere, and you watch as the end begins to burn, and you take your first drag of your first cigarette.

a coughing fit ensues. naturally. you hold it awkwardly between the fingers of your right hand and you cover your mouth with your left, hacking up your lungs. bucky’s brows furrow and it’s then, and only then, when the faintest hint of a smirk drags onto his features. “you alright?” his hand moves to your back and rubs in circles, pats it lightly, until you’re bleary eyed and looking over at him with a loud laugh.

it was natural after that.

where bucky was, it was safe to assume that you weren’t far behind. but it wasn’t like that. if anyone asked who you were with, you wore a proud expression and said with little hesitation, “myself.”

each time, bucky glanced between you and whatever sorry schmuck was in your path, and he shrugged his shoulders. “you heard her.”

things were easy with bucky. you had laid the ground rules that night, on the pool chaise. you had straightened your shoulders and you said, “i made the vow not to fall in love with anyone this summer.”

bucky had raised an eyebrow at you and watched as you took his root beer and took a long pull, his eyes fixating onto yours. “funny, so did i.”

the summer of 1977 was a dream.

but you had to wake up.

when you’re not rhiannon, you’re… you. you’re a student at oxford university on a full ride scholarship, studying political science, eventually law. you want to be the first woman president. you have bigger dreams and aspirations than being a band aid.

but you don’t mind slipping into your dream state between the months of may and september. you don’t mind one bit.

on the last night of tour, in nashville, you and bucky had spent the whole night in his room. you talked and you laughed, you laid together and you talked about school and he talked about recording the next album. you said how you wished you could be there for it, and he said how he’d like to see oxford.

that’s another thing about dreams.

when you’re in them, you can nearly believe that they can exist in the real world. but they can’t.

you and bucky had toed a very thin line for a long time. and you tumbled off of it together that night.

when you said your goodbyes in the airport the next morning, everyone else around as well, it seemed to suck any of the intimacy out of the room. you told him then that you always hated airports-- they reminded you of goodbyes.

bucky had shrugged, and said, “they remind me of hellos.”

you hugged. he kissed the corner of your mouth, the closest thing to an outright public display of affection as you two would get. and you left. you went back to real life.

but now, it is 1978. and it is the summer before your senior year of college, and you are backstage at the bee gees at the forum. and brooklyn is opening.

of course you knew that you would see him. he had written you letters over the course of the past year, like a gentleman. you’d tucked them away in your hat box and wrote back about your studies and your roommates. and at the end of the last letter you sent, you wrote: hope you wrote that song about me. xx

you didn’t tell him you were going on the road this summer. you’d been in touch with kate and met up in beverly hills with her. she told you about how she and clint had moved in together in new york and you sipped coffee and went with her as she shopped at places that were far out of your budget. and then you’d met up with clint and he got you your pass.

and now you’re here, with a packed duffel.

it’s a wonder you haven’t run into him yet. there’s a part of you that hopes he doesn’t know-- that he’s going to come out here and see you and that the air is going to be knocked from him as he takes in the visage of you.

beginning to grow anxious, you throw yourself into a chair backstage in a huff. a boy who must be around your age is sitting on the arm of it, and looks down at you curiously. “you alright?”

“never better,” you say and inspect your nail. “you seen the band?”

“who, bee gees? nah, haven’t had a chance--”

“no. brooklyn.”

“oh.” he goes quiet and nods his head. “i got a chance to talk to ‘em just now. i’m trying to do a piece on them.”

your jaw slacks a bit and you nod your head. “oh.” a journalist. of course he is. “how exciting for you.”

“yeah, it’ll be my first real piece. i’ve written some stuff for my college paper, but nothing like this. i can’t believe i even got in. i met this girl gwen and she found me a pass.”

“gwen’s a real keeper,” you say and you wink. your words are honest. you like gwen. “what’s your name, kid?”

“peter parker.”

you stick your hand out. “nice to meet you, peter parker.”

he shakes it and he raises his eyebrows at you, as if waiting for an introduction on your end. “and you are…” he finally begins.

“that’s rhiannon.”

the voice jars you. you don’t dare look behind you, but you already know who it is. you feel large hands on your shoulders and it takes every ounce of pride and self worth inside of you not to let your body erupt into shivers. “she’s the heart of brooklyn.”

a scoff passes your lips and you tip your head back, and you’re not disappointed by what you see. you never are. “you’re always so dramatic,” you coo. your attention shifts back to peter, but your skin is buzzing where bucky touches you, and you have nearly ten months worth of time to catch up on with him. “it was nice meeting you, peter parker.”

subtlety is not your strong suit, and peter must gather that, because he scrambles to get his things and scurry off. you give a slight wave and make a mental note that you’d like to get to know him if he sticks around. “nice kid,” you say.

“don’t want to talk about him.”

you can’t help yourself now. a giddy squeal bursts from your lips and you turn and you fling yourself at him. you’re all arms and legs flailing, clutching to him, and he holds you just as tight. there’s that sort of husky, low laugh that leaves him, and you remember it from that night that you wanted to impress him by smoking a cigarette. “hey, rhi.”

“hi,” your voice is muffled in his neck. you don’t care who’s watching, you don’t care what they whisper— for the first time, you don’t care if they assume you’re going to go back to bucky’s room and fuck him stupid. you care that he’s here. that’s bigger than your pride.

“didn’t tell me you’d be comin’. had to hear from kate.”

“yeah, well...” you pull back and look up at him, hands resting on his shoulders. his find your hips and pull you in. “i wanted to surprise you. am i a happy surprise?”

bucky is the kind of person who thinks before he speaks, but also, you believe that he thinks before he emotes. there’s a beat before he’s licking his lips, nodding his head. “nah. it’s gonna be such a drag having my girl on the road with me.”

my girl.

you squint at him and push him away right in his chest, and he gapes, rubbing it and feigning hurt. “don’t pull that,” you point at him. “same rules as last summer, alright? we— we went over this.”

exasperated, bucky sighs, head lolling to the side. “yes ma’am.”

ten months ago bucky told you he was in love with you.

ten months ago bucky told you he’d follow you all over the world.

ten months ago you agreed that it was a horrible idea, and that your friendship was too vital, too real, too special to risk messing it up.

ten months later, you’re hoping you won’t regret this decision.

you can see the disappointment in his face. gently, you touch the side of his face and you smile a bit. “in another life.” those were the words you had said to him, all those nights ago.

bucky’s face breaks your heart over and over again. he gives you that gentle but sad look-- the look of a man who has what he wants right within arms reach, but knows that he cannot fully grasp. knows that he cannot fully keep.

“i’ll have you any way you want me,” is all he finally says. “‘s not summer without you.”

you’d made a promise to him that night. you had told him you weren’t going to fall in love with anyone in the summer of 1977.

but it is the summer of 1978. and this is the story of how you fall in love with bucky barnes.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfic #rockstar bucky #your song #my writing #not me posting this at 11pm sorry yall

[chxrrysangel]

I Need a Favor

Part One | Masterlist | Part Three

Summary || A talk with Wanda and Vision at the ice cream parlor gives you a grand idea. Now only to convince your partner to go along with it.

pairing || fakeboyfriend!bucky x black!ofc

word count || 1,730 words

Notes || Diana uses she/they pronouns

Warnings || brief mention of disordered eating, language

"I ruined everything Wanda. She's never gonna talk to me again, " I say while salty tear drops from my cheek into the soft serve below me.

I don't think I've cried this much since Nat and I got into the same university. At least that was a happy memory. Wanda wraps her arms around my body, trying her best to console me.

"Vision! Another cup of Cotton Candy over here!"

Vision, Wanda's boyfriend, pops up from behind the counter, blond hair sticking up in all directions. That's what happens when he's in distress, that man never stops touching his hair.

"But Wanda--". He attempts to argue with her. But when he sees the glare her features are sporting, the words quickly die in his throat.

"Alright."

Not a minute later, Vision wanders over to our table carrying a medium sized bowl on Cotton Candy ice cream, my favorite. The shop is closed now, the last customers leaving about 10 minutes ago. I probably shouldn't be eating my feelings considering I haven't always had the best relationship with food, but I'll cry about that later. Right now, I just need to wallow in the guilt of the mess I've made.

"So, what's the problem exactly Diana? Why are you so distraught right now?" I sigh and will the tears to subside enough for me to give the breakdown. Seeing me struggle to keep my composure, Wanda steps in and I thank the universe for her.

"They kissed Steve at a party a few weeks ago and now he thinks she has a crush on him. Whether she does or doesn't isn't important because he cornered her in the library earlier and now she has to figure out what to do ASAP. They don't want Nat to find out about Steve's "revelation". "

"Shit, Di. So there's nothing you can do? You have no dirt on 'im? Threaten him to keep the secret? Maybe call in a favor or something?"

Favor. Call in a favor.

"Oh my god, Vision you're a genius! I could literally kiss you right now! I mean, obviously I wouldn't. But, you get what I mean." I scramble to gather my things and throw a ten dollar bill on the tabletop.

"I'll see you guys later! I have to go do something!" I don't wait for their response before I'm hurdling out the door and running towards Jones Apartments.

~~~

I kind of forgot the distance between Jones Apartments and Wanda's Creamery. That is why by the time I reach them, I feel like someone could peel me off the sidewalk. I don't think I've ever been this out of breath in my entire life. Jesus Christ, how is Nat on the track team? I remind myself to ask her about her running routine while I sit on the curb, trying my best not to burst a lung.

"Diana?" My head perks up at the sound of my name, surprised to see the exact person I was looking for.

"James!"

"Diana, I told you not to call me that." I get up from the curb so we're more or less eye level. I don't exactly like being talked down to.

"Anyways James, I need to talk to you."

"No." James sidesteps around me, heading towards the swivel door entrance."

"And why not?" I chase after him, hoping that by following him, he'll get annoyed and let me speak so I can go home. It is a Friday after all, I'm sure he has something to do. Probably partying at the frat house. Let's be real here.

"Because, I don't want to." He doesn't wait for my response before he's walking down the corridor to the elevator. I don't know why he thinks he'll be able to escape me, it's not like I don't know his apartment number or anything.

"James--", he looks at me with an irritated expression,"Okay, okay. Bucky. I have a proposition for you.”

"And what about that exactly?"

"That's for a space with privacy. You never know who's listening." He sighs and rolls his eyes before motioning for me to follow. Gotcha. Hook, line, and sinker.

~~~~

"Absolutely fucking not."

"What do you mean?! I've barely said a thing!"

"It's Steve Rogers, that's enough for me to say no."

"C'mon Buck! Please! I will literally get on my hands and knees, and beg for you to say yes." He smirks at my words and I proceed to punch him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You know exactly what that was for. Anyways, I really, really need your help."

"I already said no. Now get out." I'm starting to get annoyed with him. He's so stubborn.

"James, will you cool it with the bad boy, angry man act! I know you, you fucking moron. You can't fool me with that one. " He stares at me from his seat on the kitchen counter.

"It's not an act."

"Right, because it's not like just 6 months ago you were laying in bed with me at my apartment crying to A Walk to Remember. You're a total baby."

His jaw ticks at my reminder. Ha, gotcha. During the spring of Sophomore year, I tutored James for a semester because he was in trouble of losing his spot on the baseball team. And as they're most valuable and skilled player, coach couldn't let that happen. He'd also lose his scholarship. At first he hated me, but over time we developed a pretty decent friendship. He's actually a really cool guy, and a total softie at that.

"Shut up."

"Ah, so you do remember us being friends at one point. Well, at least before you stopped returning my calls and unfollowed me on Instagram and Twitter."

"Sorry 'bout that." He smiles sheepishly, seemingly apologetic.

"You should be. Anyways, weren't you and Steve friends freshman year? I'd only know him for like a year and a half, but I distinctly remember that you two used to hang out."

"Yeah, we did. But that's in the past." He hops off the counter, opening the fridge to grab a beer. I watch him as he pops the top with his metal arm, the depth of its capabilities continuing to amaze me.

"Why, what happened? Did you guys fall out over a girl or something?," I ask with a laugh. He stays silent.

"Oh my god. You guys did break up over a girl. So, who's the lucky lady?" Again, he doesn't respond.

"Do I know her?" Ok, now I'm intrigued. Maybe a little bit nosy as well, but more intrigued. Inquisitive, if you will.

Again, my words are met with silence.

"Oo, so I do know her. Is it Nat?" He pause for just a millisecond, the same way I did at the party.

"Di, will you just drop it?"

"Oh my god!--" I jump out of my chair, squealing with excitement. "--So, it is Nat!" Wait, shit. It's Nat. Oh, this is bad.

"You think?" Did I say that out loud?

"Yes, you did. Now will you get out of my apartment please?"

"Nope, we have much to discuss"

~~~

"So, what exactly do I get out of this besides a headache?"

"Ouch, James. I'm not that bad. So basically, I keep your secret that you ever liked Nat. You get to rub it in Steve's that your crush is a thing of the past. I get him off my back, and finally I figure out how to get you a date with Daisy when we fake break up."

"Ok, I can deal with this. We're gonna need a contract though."

"Oo, look at you using your brain. I guess my tutoring paid off." He pushes me, nearly sending me off the chair to my death.

"Hey, watch it cyborg! What good is a fake girlfriend if you kill them?" Bucky simply rolls his eyes, before pulling out a pen and paper from a side drawer.

"Okay, rule number one : don't tell a single soul. Not one. Got it?"

"Yes, dad," I respond whilst rolling my eyes. He stares at me for a second longer than necessary and I look at him questioningly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Rule two?"

"Um...we have to act decently couple-y. So that means kissing, you walk me to my classes, I go to your games, stuff like that."

"Okay, good point. Rule three, you have to indulge in some of the things I like. Especially my motorcycle."

"Uh uh. No fucking way am I willingly getting on that death trap."

He laughs at me. He fucking laughs at me. "y/n, it's not that bad I promise. I won't let you die."

"You don't know that."

"I promise, I won't let you die. " He smiles wide at me, enough for his dimples to poke out. He knows how much I love dimples. Well played, Barnes. Well played.

"Okay, put it as a conditional clause. While we're on that note, you have to indulge in my interests too. You have to let me braid your hair once in a while." His face drops in horror.

"Uh uh. Don't even try it Barnes. If I'm willing to put my life in your hands, I'm sure you'll survive some french braids and cornrows." He looks at me for a second before sighing in defeat, realizing I'm not gonna budge any time soon.

"Okay fine, anything else?"

"When are we gonna break up? Or, like what's our condition if it keeps going? We've gotta be believable here." The two of us sit in silence for a few moments, thinking of a time that would suit the earth-shattering demise of our passionate love story.

"Got it! You know that holiday banquet/fundraiser thing the dean throws just after New Years'? You know the one where everyone dresses up like it's the goddamn Met Gala? Well, that banquet has the most hookups of any public event this school has all year. You'd be an absolute moron to let your partner go without you. If we're still doing this by then, you have to go with me."

The banquet is four months from now, so there's absolutely no way in hell we'll still be doing this by that time. With that thought in mind, we shake hands and sign our names at the bottom.

"You've got yourself a deal Barnes."

#fakeboyfriend!bucky #fake relationship #steve rogers #romanogers #natasha romanov #bucky barnes x black!ofc #bucky barnes x original female character #black!oc #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky x reader

[magicforjournals]

The Green Dress (A Story About Loki)  Chapter 4 : A God’s Lips

RE-UPLOAD - Last upload was missing some parts, my bad!!

Warnings : Explicit (18+)

It’s early in the morning, way earlier than you usually wake up. You barely slept last night; nerves, anticipation, fear even, just twisting your insides and preventing you from getting any kind of rest. You know you’ll eventually have to get up and get ready for work but, you’re just lying in bed, still shell-shocked at the conversation you had with Loki last night.

After receiving his email, you had sat in the shower, letting the hot water hit your skin, for what seemed like hours. Had Loki just asked you on a date? That… That meant he wanted to see you again, he thought of you just as much as you thought of him. He craved your presence just as much as you craved his. You had revelled in the thought of being important to someone like him, a literal god. Finally, you had gathered all of your strength to get out of the shower, grab your phone and sit on your bed to reply to his email. You felt it impersonal to accept an invitation to a date over email and had decided to give him your phone number instead, offering him the option to call you. Within minutes, your phone rang. Heart pounding and hands shaking, you had answered his call. The sound of his soft, deep voice through the phone made you shiver and instantly soak. You wanted him, you needed him. Your conversation, although brief, had been wonderful. You both had agreed that you would be making dinner, and he was to meet you at your apartment at 6 o’clock. You could barely utter a word when he wished you goodnight and sweet dreams before hanging up. You had laid back on your bed, trying to catch your breath. You had just invited a god to have dinner in your home. It wasn’t just any god, it was Loki. Loki who had kissed you with such passion, it had left you weak in the knees for days. Loki who, by only speaking, could make you so incredibly wet. You had slid a hand down your body, imagining it was his hand instead of yours, grabbing your breast, rubbing tight circles on your clit. It didn’t take long for the orgasm to rip, burning hot, through your entire body, making you spasm in pleasure as his sultry voice still rang in your ears, and you had to bite down on your pillow to muffle the loud moan that escaped your lips as you came.

As you lie there thinking about last night, you tell yourself it’s only a couple of hours before you get to see him again. Jumping out of bed, newfound energy bursting through your veins, you get ready in a flash, speeding through breakfast and cleaning up. You call yourself a taxi and get to school way too early, eager to start your day. As promised, your car is waiting for you in the parking lot, however, you see Nat getting out of it as you start walking to the school entrance.

“You’re here early”, she says as she catches up to you, following you inside. There were usually no visitors allowed unless the principal approves it, but since the school is funded by Tony and that Natasha is an Avenger, they never had a problem with her coming in before or after classes. Regardless, she never came during school hours, knowing her presence would be a distraction for the kids.

“Yeah, I could really sleep last night,” you say with a smirk.

“Oh…” She says, intrigued. “Oh, I know that face! What happened?!” She then presses you.

“Well….”, you tease, walking into your classroom. “Loki emailed me last night to ask if we could have dinner tonight.” Nat’s mouth falls open as she hops on your desk, her usual spot to sit.

“Did you say yes?” She asks.

“Yeah, he’s coming over tonight. I’m making him dinner.”

“Holy fuck, you’re joking!” Natasha screams so loud, you have to shush her. “You’re having dinner with Loki Laufeyson TONIGHT.”

“I know, I know. Be careful, he’s the god of mischief,” you say, mimicking her.

“Oh, well yeah obviously! I’ll have my phone with me if there’s any problem, just use the emergency button.” She reminds me. “But I meant you’re having dinner with the man who pinned you against a wall four days ago and kissed you like you’ve never been kissed before. The same man you told me you could not stop thinking about.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, your face turning red.

“Are you excited?”

“I’m nervous! I haven’t been on a first date in almost a year Nat! What if he doesn’t like me anymore in the end? There’s something different about him and it terrifies me. If you think about it, I’m just a simple mortal.” You tell her.

“Please, you’ll be just fine. Loki seems very interested in you.” She reassures you. “And you know, I was thinking last night… Loki has been good for a while now… maybe being with you would really change him. I know I have some preconceived notions about him, but everyone is allowed a second chance. I was, so was Bucky and Bruce too…” She trails off. Talking about him was still a sore subject. Bruce had been missing since Sokovia and it had left a gaping hole in our hearts, especially Nats. Over the years, you had watched their relationship slowly flourish, they were quietly flirting and often seeing each other in secret. He was the first man she ever let get herself get close to, and he cared so deeply about her and was terrified of ever losing her. And when he never came back, and when no one could find the Quinjet, Natasha could barely leave her bed. Getting her back on her feet was one of the hardest things you had ever done.

“Hey,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around her, rubbing her back.

“He’ll come back when he’s ready, just give him time.”

“I know,” she says, hugging you back. “I just miss him.” We all did.

You stay like that, holding each other in silence for a while.

“I should go,” Nat says, hopping off your desk. “You call me tonight if there’s anything, right?” She adds, looking you in the eyes.

“Yeah, of course! How are you getting back?” You ask.

“Sam is picking me up, he’s on his way now,” she replies, checking her phone.

“Say hi for me! I’ll call you later ok?”

“Will do! Keep me posted. Love you, bye!” Nat yells as she walks out. You giggle to yourself, unpacking your stuff and getting ready for the day, Tuesdays are your favorites.

The day flew by so fast, it left you a little dizzy. Your students left a while ago and you were finally done cleaning up the mess of the day. You look down at your jeans and there are some mud stains all over them, the WWII reenactment of the day having left its mark. Nonetheless, your students enjoyed it, and you tell yourself to add the activity to the memory board you have in class. As you glance in its direction, you see that the clock above is showing 3:45, and you panic. You didn’t realize how long you had spent cleaning.

You pack up your things as fast as you can, almost running to your car. You need to get home quickly, Loki is coming over in two hours, and you have to make dinner and get ready. You desperately need a shower after running around outside in the mix of snow and mud all day.

Getting home in record time, you drop your bags by your desk. Running to your bathroom as you throw your hair in a bun, you take the fastest shower you’ve ever taken, scrubbing down as quick as you can. Thank heavens you had washed your hair the night prior. Once you get out, you check your makeup for any touch-ups and add a small line of liner and lip gloss. Shaking your hair out of its bun, you like the way it looks and decide to leave it as is. Still wrapped up in your towel, you make your way to the kitchen to start prepping the food that needs to begin cooking immediately. You get everything else out and organize your kitchen. Again, you thank your lucky star that you’re a neat person and you don’t need to clean your apartment before Loki gets here. With most of the dinner cooking, you head to your bedroom to get dressed. Opting for black lace underwear, you open your closet and sigh loudly. What are you going to wear? Why hadn’t you picked out an outfit this morning? You had all the time in the world to get ready? Grabbing your favorite pair of light jeans, skin-tight and which do wonders for your ass, you start browsing through your shirts to find something… anything. You suddenly hear something bubbling and grab an old band shirt you usually sleep in, slipping that on before running to the kitchen to make sure nothing is burnt to a crisp. You’re not the best cook in the world but you can manage to whip up a couple of great meals. Thankfully, nothing was burning, but there were a lot of dishes to take care of.

You were washing the last bowl when you heard the building’s buzzer ringing. Your head whipped around towards the digital clock on your microwave to see it showing 6 pm on the dot. SHIT! You didn’t see the time fly by, and Loki was already here AND you were not even dressed. Shit, shit, shit, shit… Ok, it’s ok. You walk over to the intercom and buzz him in. A little time goes by and you hear a shy knock against your door, making your heart almost jump out of its cavity with how fast and hard it’s beating. Hand on the door handle, you take a deep breath before opening the door.

There he was, standing in front of you, handsome, beautiful as ever. His dark hair combed back, as it was last time you saw him, his green eyes sparkling with joy, his devastatingly stunning smile. He was there. Right in front of you.

“Hi,” Loki says, his smile widening. “These are for you”, he adds, handing you a bouquet of white and pink lilies.

You gasp. “Oh thank you. How did you know lilies are one of my favorite flowers?”

“I guessed, a very fortunate guess as it turns out to be.” You think you might as well die, combust on-site, from how warm he makes you feel.

“They’re beautiful, thank you so much.” You repeat. “Please come in! I’m so sorry I’m not dressed yet, I just finished the dishes.” You apologize, cheeks burning red as he steps to stand in front of you in the entrance.

“I think you look perfect,” he whispers, stroking your cheek slowly. You sigh in content, eyes closing, as soon as you feel his skin against yours, unknowingly leaning into his hand. You both stand there, taking in each other’s presence, for what seems like hours.

“Let me take your coat,” you whisper softly, looking up at him.

“It’s ok darling, get those flowers in some water,” Loki whispers back, your knees buckling under the weight of the nickname.

You slowly nod against his hand still on your face and regretfully make your way to the kitchen, Loki following closely behind. He takes off his coat and hangs it on the back of one of the barstools, as you’re putting the flowers in a vase. Pretending to be focused on the flowers, you let your eyes wander his body, starting from his thighs - the rest being cut off by the counter -, up his waist, stomach, broad shoulders, arms, and back up to his gorgeous lips you crave to kiss, his nose you want to feel nuzzled in the crook of your neck, and his eyes… your own forest you’d run through forever. How could one being be so beautiful? Loki was breathtakingly beautiful, tearing your eyes away from his face was a strenuous feat. Turning your attention to your dinner, you opened the oven to check on the food. You jump and gasp when you feel Loki moving closer behind you, his hand snaking up your hips.

“Do you need help with anything?” He asks, his sultry voice making you dizzy and immediately wet.

“N-no, I have it a-all under control,” you stutter, shooting up from your bent-over position. Loki’s hands are still on your hips when you turn around to face him, resting your hands on his firm chest. You’re standing so close to each other you could tilt your head up and kiss him if you wanted to… and you desperately want to.

“I… umm… should go get dressed.” You choke out. “Can you… keep an eye on the... uh… oven?”

“Of course.” He replies, one hand moving to your hair, tucking a strand of it behind your ear.

You give him a smile and head towards your bedroom, where you collapse on your bed as soon as you reach it. Holy shit, this man is going to be the death of you, with his voice, his touch, and his eyes. Every time he spoke, the heat in your belly sparked up to a hellish blaze, making you weak in the knees. He’s waiting for you out there, don’t be a coward, get up, you finally tell yourself. Taking your shirt off, you walk to your closet to figure out something to wear, yet again.

“Oh! I am so sorry, I should have announced myself,” Loki says from your bedroom door, and you jump, grabbing the closest piece of fabric to cover yourself up.

“Oh God!” You scream, your hand flying up to your chest, heart pounding. With a single step, Loki crosses the distance between the two of you, his palms up as to hold you, but he stops himself.

“Hey - hey there, it’s just me. I am so sorry I scared you darling.” He whispers softly, trying to calm you down.

“I- uh, it’s ok. I just didn’t hear you coming.” You say, trying to slow down the cascading beat of your heart. And then it hits you. The piece of fabric you had grabbed to cover yourself with was the cream coloured blouse you had bought months ago but never wore for the simple reason it was way too sheer. So sheer in fact, it meant that Loki could clearly see through it, he could see your naked stomach and black lace bra. You could feel his gaze on you as you turned bright red, scrambling to find something else to cover up with.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t realize you could see everything.” You apologize profusely.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, his tone of voice stopping you in your tracks. You turn to look at him and you see his eyes exploring your body, admiration pouring out of them. He steps closer to you, grabbing the hand you were using to search with, and running his up from your wrist to your shoulder, slowly tracing your collar bone, before making it way up your neck, gently across your cheek and getting lost in your hair. You moan softly under his touch, the blouse falling quietly on the floor as you reach for him with both hands.

Before you know it, your lips meet, sending jolts of electricity through your body. You reach your arms up and wrap them around Loki’s neck, pulling him closer to you. Your sudden burst of passion makes him groan under your touch and he deepens your kiss, teasing the tip of his tongue in between your lips as he pins you against the wall, igniting a burning desire in you. You feel his hands slide from your hair slowly down to the small of your back, resting there for a moment before cupping your ass and he lifts you up in his arms. You gasp against his mouth as you wrap your legs around his waist, surprised at his strength. He keeps kissing you as he walks you over to the bed, laying you down gently. For a moment, you’re both just staring at each other, eyes full of desire and catching your breath.

“Are you sure?” Loki asks, brushing hair out of your face and then carefully brushing his thumb against your swollen lips. You part them, taking his thumb in your mouth and slowly sucking on it as you nod. The soft moan that comes out of his lips as you suck on his digit sets off an even hotter fire through your belly. Loki crashes his lips against yours, his hands roaming your body. He moves his mouth to your neck, kissing and biting love marks all over it, as you fumble around with the buttons on his shirt, the task being a lot more difficult with this man’s lips all over you. As soon as the shirt falls open, you’re frozen, your eyes roaming his strong, sublime body, hands running over the contours of his stomach, absolutely mesmerized.

“You’re so beautiful,” you echo Loki’s words.

Capturing your lips again, he starts kissing down your neck again, making his way to your chest. Slowly running his right hand up your body, he cups your breast as he licks the other one through the lace of your bra and you’re moaning, your back arching under his touch.

“That’s where you’re wrong, you are beautiful,” he whispers against your skin, making you shiver. “So beautiful, how could I ever live without you anymore.”

Loki begins kissing his way down your stomach, undoing your pants slowly and brushing his lips across your lower stomach. You whimper as he pulls your jeans off and comes back up, hooking his fingers around the waistband of your panties, kissing your thigh as he slides them down too. His hands are back on your inner thighs before the rest of him is, and you’re throbbing, clenching, soaking even more, just knowing that his fingers are inches away from where you need him most.

“Is this ok?” he asks you softly, feeling his hot breath between your thighs.

“Yes.” And his tongue is on you, parting you so incredibly slow, you think you might pass out. You’re wet, you know that, and he knows that too as he moans against you, licking small little circles around your clit. You’re trying so hard to stay quiet, every bone in your body fighting against the urge to scream out his name. You feel his nose pressed up against you as he’s devouring you like you’re the last meal he’ll ever have, his hands gripping and squeezing your thighs, your hips, your waist. He slowly retreats, letting his fingers tease you for a little as he flashes you a quick smile, eyes burning with desire, and you feel a thick single finger slide excruciatingly slow inside of you.

“Fuck!” is all you can manage, every other word and sound stuck in your throat.

Loki starts pumping his finger, in and out, out and in, getting faster and faster, adding a second one and sucking on your clit so hard, you’re about to cum. You grab fistfuls of his hair as you arch your back into him, begging him to keep going, to lick you more. You scream as you cum all over his fingers, the orgasm sending violent spasms throughout your entire body. As you’re trying to catch your breath, his mouth leaves you, making it harder for you to breathe, and he kisses you. He tastes like you, and all you can think about is wanting to make him feel as good as he just made you feel. Sitting up on your elbows, still kissing him, you bring him closer to you, sliding your lips from his mouth to his ear, catching his ear lobe in between your teeth and whispering softly, voice still rough from your orgasm.

“Please… let me touch you.” He groans against your neck and flips you, so he’s lying on the bed. Loki grabs your face and kisses you passionately as you unbuckle his belt and take his pants and briefs off. You’re astonished at how big he is, thick and long, already hard for you. You kiss his stomach as you slide a hand down, wrapping your fingers around him as he throbs, and slowly start pumping your fist. The sound that makes his way from his chest and out his lips is almost enough to make you cum again, and you slide your mouth down, licking that small bead of precum from the tip and wrapping your mouth around him, sucking softly. Loki moans your name, grabbing a handful of your hair, as you start bopping your head, accentuating your movement with your hand. Before long he’s pleading for you to stop, his hips spasming, making him thrust into your mouth. Retreating with an audible pop, you giggle as you take your bra off before climbing on top of him, his dick throbbing against you. As Loki wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer, he flips you again, running his hands along your curves while a happy moan escapes you. Slowly, he slides the tip of him between your lips and you gasp at how thick he is, but you’re still wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you. You hold there for a moment, gazing in each other's eyes and in one swift movement, he buries himself deep inside of you, a growl slipping through his lips.

“F-fuck darling, you feel so good.” He moans as he starts to thrust in you, shattering your entire world. You can’t formulate words, all you know and all you’ve ever known is that nobody has taken care of you like Loki is doing right now. You want this moment to last forever, him inside of you, your bodies interlaced, lips pressed against each other’s, your choked out breaths matching the beating of your hearts to the rhythm of your desire for one another. Everything you’ve ever known ceases to exist, but the two of you, in that moment, as Loki makes love to you passionately. He’s rolling his hips, hitting a spot in you you didn’t know could get you so close to the edge of insanity so fast.

“Loki, fuck! I-I’m gonna…” you start.

“Wait for me,” he moans out after you, pumping his hips harder into you, one hand gripping your hip, the other lost in your hair. “Fuck”. And you do, until his last powerful thrust and you cry out as you feel him explode inside of you, your orgasm ripping your body to shreds from the sheer intensity of it.

You stay lying there for a while, him still inside of you, your arms wrapped around him, as his head rests against yours. Gently, he rolls off to the side, pulling you into his and kissing you deeply. You sigh in pure bliss as he kisses you, resting your hand up his sweaty torso, following the movement of his breaths.

“I think we might’ve overcooked, possibly even burnt, the food,” he whispers in your hair, and you feel him smile.

“Worth it to me, was it not to you?” You tease, kissing him again.

“I’m hurt you would even question it, my beautiful girl,” his reply sending butterflies through your stomach as he kisses you back with infinite softness.

You are lost in the moment, wishing you could forever just kiss this God’s lips.

Taglist : @kingtwhiddleston

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki (marvel) #loki x you #loki smut #marvel #natahsa romanoff #mcu #marvel fanfic series #reader insert #green dress #green dress a story about loki #tom hiddleston #avengers #sam wilson

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

The Helping Hand

This is a Repost from my Ao3 I wanted to bring it to Tumblr. I hope you like it Its currently 5 chapters I will be uploading the rest throughout the rest of the week.

Word count: 2400 approx

Summary: Y/N Krast Illegitimate Daughter of Tony Stark. Product of an unwanted teen pregnancy. What would Howard Stark be capable of doing to assure his sons future? What will happen when Tony meets our Beautiful, young, genius, rich philanthropist.

Tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug use, Drug addiction, Teen Pregnancy. (If there are any I missed please tell me.)

Ch.3

Chapter 4: Age of Ultron pt.1

Ch.5

It has been a couple of days since your last dose. You were starting to feel the withdrawal and were not having it. "Y/N are you even listening to me?" You snap out of your thoughts turning to face Logan. "Of course in listening to Logan this is also important to me." You stand up and walk towards him "Don't you ever question that again."

You notice Logan flinch at your words, you hurt him. You look at the floor "I'm sorry Logan it's just been a couple of days since..." He nods and looks at you reassuringly "I thought you had gotten a handle on it." You sigh as you sit on the couch with him sitting next to you. "I'm an addict Logan we both know there's no controlling that." He holds your hand. 

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have kept giving them to you when Howard adopted you." You hold his cheek and clean the tear rolling down his cheek. "It's not your fault the Oxy it was just… your way to keep seeing me. It's not like I gave you much choice in the matter."

You were given Oxycodone at a young age… It was a mistake you were taking it for a couple of days before the nurse noticed. Hoping to cover her mistake she told no one and gave you extra to help with withdrawal. She probably never thought about it again, after all she was never going to see you again. There were no parents in the picture so no repercussions fell on her. It a shame you couldn't say the same of yourself. 

Logan was a couple of years older when he noticed your "habits" 15,16 maybe. He just wanted to help. Unbeknownst to you both, you just made it worse. You were able to hide or play off your addiction, for anyone looking in from the outside you were a normal kid. In Sokovia let’s just say the practice always had inventory. "Do you need me to get you a contact… I still know some people." Logan says looking forward." You swallow hard. "I… I need one bottle. Logan, I want to stop, but just having it on hand helps." 

"I'll be there every step of the way Y/N" Finally you let out a tear… as soon as one falls you come undone. Quietly crying while Logan holds you. "Logan you are the one person who knows all of me… Thanks for not running for the hills." He laughs "I couldn't even if I wanted to you're my sister, my family." He nudges you "Plus I'm also not the easiest person." you Laugh At Him. Your phone rings and you're quick to answer. "Y/N Krast who is this?"

"It’s Pepper, Y/N. I hope I haven't interrupted you." You mouth to Logan that it's Pepper, you put the call on speaker telling him to be quiet. "It's okay Pepper, you didn't interrupt anything what is it." She sighs and starts talking. "We need your help… Tony needs your help." You begin to worry, taking the phone off speaker and talking to Pepper. 

"What's going on Pepper you're worrying me." She just takes a deep breath and continues. "There's an Iron Suit waiting for you outside." You nod and hang up. Make your way to the office. "Logan If you could please get that for me all be back soon." Logan nods and waves you off. Sure enough, there was an Iron suit outside just kinda standing there waiting for you. 

As soon as you step in you're greeted by Pepper in the coms. "Just enjoy the ride see you soon." The ride was quiet but it just got you more on edge for what was waiting for you. Once you land you are greeted by a waiting Pepper. "Hey what's going on, I'm starting to get worried." Pepper only looks at you and gives you an apologetic look. You were rather pale today the building stress and the withdrawal aren't really sitting well. 

"Pepper I'm okay, but I won't be If someone doesn't tell me what's going on." Soon behind Pepper, you see a woman's shadow walking towards you. "You're being recruited Mrs. Krast to be a part of the Avengers… at least temporarily we'll work out the conditions later, what do you say?" Pepper scenes you confusion and steps in. "This is Director Hill. We need your help just say yes so we can tell you what's going on."

You just nod your head. Not long after Maria calls the team in. "Team meet your new member. I'm sure most of you already know her, as I’m sure she knows you." You stand rather defensive; you know none of them. Other than Tony. Then suddenly Natalie walks up from behind you. "Hey, stranger welcome to the team." You smirk. "What should I call you Natalie, Natalia, Natasha, or just Nat." She laughs and the rest of the team chuckles. "Touché" is all she says. 

You follow the team as they make their way across the tower you realize the tower is destroyed. "And I thought I knew how to throw a party… Clearly not." Once you make it to the meeting room Captain Rogers walks in with Maria Hill. You learn a lot in the hour and a half that has passed. You excuse yourself and make a call. 

"Logan remember what I asked you to do earlier. If I'm going to make it through this I'm going to need them." You're interrupted by a familiar deep female voice. "What do you need to get through this Y/N?" Natasha asked bluntly. "It's not nice to eavesdrop… Okay, just don't judge it’s for the greater good, remember that." Nat gives you a flat look not even bothering to change her defensive stance. "Do you guys have a medical unit? I need something." You say whispering while looking around to make sure no one heard you. 

"Are you hurt, do you have a condition or something." You sigh knowing she's not going to drop it unless you tell her. "I'm going through withdrawal Nat." She laughs. "You expect me to believe you’re some kind of junkie." You stay quiet avoiding her gaze. "And you're not kidding. Y/N since when." She asks. 

"You don't want to know alright. Will you help me? I just need to stop the symptoms long enough to think." The desperation growing in your voice. Nat sighs "What do you need and how much?" You let out a deep breath and give her a thankful look. "Oxycodone… 3. Is that possible if not I need to call Logan?" She just nods and leaves you standing there in the hallway. Not long after she comes back and with something in hand. 

"Since when?" She asks again you can tell she's ordering you not asking you to tell her. You answer reluctantly. "I was ten alright." You extend your hand and take the pills from her, taking one before heading back into the meeting room leaving her in the hallway alone. She walks back in clearly shaken up by your revelation.

A couple of hours later you're in the Quinjet heading to South Africa. You catch nat looking at you from afar. "Stop doing that…" You say to her. "Looking at you?" She says you shake your head. "Stop feeling bad for me. I don't need it. Yes, it's fucked up, but it is what it is." You say getting slightly annoyed at the situation. “You know I can’t let you get off this plane in good conscience?” You scoff. “ With all due respect, you’ve known me for all of three minutes. You can’t make decisions for me Natasha.” She only sighs. 

“I know me, Nat… I’m okay as fucked up as it might sound. I just need it to function at the moment I’m not high or anything. Just let me help you all.” Nat gives you an angry look. “At what cost are you going to help us? How far will you take this ‘to help us.’” You didn’t mean to raise your voice but you did. “Well, I’m sorry to break this to you but if I DONT help there won’t be a price to pay!” That surprised her but she knew you were right. “For the greater good.” she says, and you nod. “For the Greater Good” you repeat more towards yourself than towards her. 

Once the Quinjet landed Tony lent you a suit and taught you some basic commands. “Just be careful Kid.” You can only nod your head. “What are we actually going to do with Ultron.” Tony sighs “For now we talk to him and try to stop him from getting the vibranium.” He’s about to walk out when he gives you one last look. “Don't engage in direct combat.” he says. You can’t help but laugh. “I grew up in the system and learned how to defend myself quite early on. But just in case I do die, bury me in the suit.” Tony tries to hold his laughter but can’t. “You're a funny kid thinking I’ll go to your funeral. Much less bury you in one of my suits.” You chuckle.

Hours later 

It was a complete shit show… It started off great and went in feeling great and hopeful even. You went with Nat and she insisted on staying near you… More like you following behind her like a lost puppy getting in a couple of shots when necessary. It was all going well until suddenly it wasn't. The Hulk was loose and Tony was after him. The Maximoff twins really did a number on us… You knew that they were going to be a hard obstacle but not like this. That crazy bitch quite literally sent you to your worst nightmare. It's not like you haven't seen it before, but this just felt more real. 

You're back on the Quinjet and everyone is on edge, you're heading god knows where… and to top it off you're quite literally shaking. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn't realize that Natasha had sat next to you until she put her hand on top of your shaking hands. “Are you okay Y/N?” you shake your head not really knowing how to process what just happened. “Are you okay, how did she do that?” Nat goes on to explain what actually made them what they were. Hydra… 

“I had heard rumors, whispers of Hydra, but I never thought anyone actually took them up on the offer.” Nat sighs “Desperate people do desperate things wouldn't you agree.” Clint interrupts you two announcing that you were landing soon. You're greeted by a very friendly looking woman, pregnant Laura Barton, a very sweet woman. Apparently no one on the team knew about her except nat. After the very awkward meeting we all just kind of went our separate ways. Bruce was off hating himself, Thor just kinda up and quite literally left, and Roger’s and Tony were just fighting outside. “Are you going to tell me or are you gonna make me find out the hard way.”

You simply lay back on the bed. “What do you want to know?” she sits “If it's actually true.” you laugh sourly. “What the fact that i'm a raging addict since the ripe age of ten. Yes, Natasha it's true.” all she can say is, “How?” You sit back up looking at her. “The how isn't important Nat… I was just a kid I didn't fucking know. All I knew was that when I stopped taking it I felt like complete shit.” You walk out the room before she could continue, not wanting to continue the conversation you go outside. 

Not long after you're all in the dinner room listening to Fury tell us about how we are at the end of the line, the last defense against ultron. Dr. Banner and I came to the conclusion that Ultron wanted to evolve to change into something better. Rogers, Nat, and Clint leave to find Dr.cho. While Tony, Bruce, and I hit the nexus. “Tony you will not believe what I just found… your old friend Jarvis.” He stops what he's doing and goes to your work space. “Old friend indeed he's been scrambling the nuclear codes all along.” Not long after Clint arrives with the cradle. 

Bruce is starting to explain how we should dismantle the android when I cut in. “What if we don't do that?” Bruce drops the tablet and looks at you. “What are you insinuating we do Y/N? Do you need a reminder of what this thing could do.” Tony cuts in. “Bruce, think about it we don't need utron for this to work.” Bruce just sighs “We’ve got Jarvis back.” you continue. “So you want me to help you to put Jarvis into this thing?” You laugh “No… no-no don't be silly we'll help you put Jarvis into that thing.”

Tony nudges you a smile forming on his face. “Great minds think alike don't they Y/N?” you can only nod in approval. You're almost done when Captain Rogers walks in. “I'm going to say this once…Shut It down” Tony cuts him off followed by Bruce. “You don't know what you're doing.” Rogers retaliates. “And you do? She's not in your head.” Wanda cuts in after Bruce mentions her. “I know you're angry…” She starts off and you cut her off. “Oh… We've passed that point believe me. This isn't about revenge or some vendetta, this is life or death. And like it or not this is our only way to fix this.”  

Suddenly all of the connections to the cradle are disconnected and an all out fight begins. Captain goes against Tony, Clint against Pietro. You on the other hand aren't interested in fighting if not preventing another green rampage. “Bruce calm down okay…” he stutters before speaking. “Y/N she deserved this what she did to me… what she made you see I heard your scream on the jet.” You grimace at his words. “Bruce let her go, we're not that, we are broken and damaged in a way many wouldn't understand. But we’re not this type of monster alright not you not me, and not the green guy… Let. Her. Go!”

As he begins to let her go, Thor flies in and shocks the cradle… bringing it to life or powering it up, not quite sure but it worked. He woke up...

#age of ultron #wanda x reader #bruce banner #avengers #natasha romanoff #clint barton #tony stark #pietro maximoff #natasha x y/n #marvel #captain america #steve rogers #fanfic

[the-goddamn-queen]

Camping, but make it sexy.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: SMUT, dirty talk, semi-public, just really the filthiest thing I’ve ever written

Word Count: 1721

A/N: For @sherrybaby14‘s Fall Into You Challenge! My prompt was camping trip.

It was mostly your fault, honestly. The minute you’d made sure everyone was situated after the final battle, you’d practically dragged Bucky into your bedroom with no intention of letting him go until you were well and truly done with him.

You spent five years without him, what were you supposed to do?

The tables had turned rather quickly on you, though, and five days later you found yourself still naked and in bed having only managed to slip out for a couple baths that Bucky insisted on taking with you.

Turns out he missed you too.

Your relief finally comes in the form of F.R.I.D.A.Y. announcing that “Mr. Stark has organized a camping trip that is required for all Avengers personnel.”

Bucky groans into your hair and wraps his arms around you tighter. “Fuck that.” His metal hand starts gliding down your stomach. “We’re not going anywhere.” He finally reaches his destination and you gasp, grasping futilely at his wrist.

“Buck, please, I don’t want to get in trouble.”

He yanks his hand away and flips you, so you’re pinned underneath him by your wrists and hips. “The only trouble you’ll get into is if you try and leave this bed,” he groans into your ear. You whine and buck instinctively. Sure, you were tired, but fuck if that man didn’t do things to you.

 You practically throw yourself out of the van the moment Steve shifts into park. Closing your eyes, you reach your hands out to touch every bit of air you can. Fresh air. Finally.

Bucky seems to take your outstretched arms as an invitation and wraps his own around your middle, hauling you into the air and making you squeal.

“Bucky!” you gasp as he sets you to your feet again. “Get off of me and help me pitch our tent.”

“But, baby, I already pitched a tent.” Your eyes widen a bit at what he’s insinuating, and you smack his arm, wincing when you realize it’s the metal one.

“Watch your mouth. There are children here.”

He smirks and twists an arm around your waist again. “I can think of way better things to do with my mouth.”

You snake away from his arm and snatch up the bag for your tent. “I’m gonna find us a spot,” you say sticking your tongue out, “join me when you’re less of a perv.”

“C’mon, doll!” he calls after you, “don’t tease me with that tongue!”

 It’s dark by the time everyone gets their tents settled. The Starks holed themselves up pretty quickly for the sake of Morgan’s bedtime (despite her very weak protest that she was not, in fact, tired). Everyone else dragged up whatever they could find to sit around the fire; logs, blankets, bucket chairs. Bucky had claimed the bench of a picnic table for the two of you. He’d seemingly calmed down from when you’d first arrived.

You’re snuggled up into his side with his arm wrapped securely around your waist listening to him and Sam bicker over who pulled the cooler rescue op while Nat and Wanda giggle over a shared thermos of something you know Natasha made too strong. You barely notice Bucky’s hand move until its almost enveloped your breast. You try to play it off, laughing at Sam’s jab and slowly reaching to remove Bucky’s hand. Just before you reach it, he swipes his thumb down the center, and you have to bite back a gasp when he grazes your nipple. You hope it’s dark enough that no one can see.

Bucky smirks down at you as pull at his wrist to no avail. He just holds you a little tighter and starts making tight circles with his thumb. You bite your lip to hold back the whine that’s bubbling up in your throat. You’re grateful that the conversation’s drifted, and no one seems to be paying attention to you anymore.

Without letting go of you, Bucky reaches behind him to grab a blanket off the table and drape it around your shoulders. You notice it just barely covers where he’s holding you, just like the one on your legs barely covers your lap…

Oh, shit.

He’s faster than you, locking your thigh to his before you can move them from where they’re folded underneath you. You turn your face to bury it in his shoulder, knowing damn well you won’t be able to hold much back if he decides to touch you there. You feel him smirk against the side of your head. He won, and you both know it.

“Sleepyhead over here and I are gonna call it a night,” Bucky announces to the rest of group. You breathe a sigh of relief that he’s accepted your surrender and manage your own quick goodnight as he drags you away from the fire.

 When you return to your tent, you half expect Bucky to throw you down on the air mattress. Instead, he calmly ducks in after you and settles himself among the blankets, leaving you to crouch awkwardly with your hands on the hem of your shirt.

“You comin’ to bed, sweetheart?”

“Uh, yeah,” you say still thumbing the fabric, “we’re not gonna…”

Bucky smirks. The asshole is toying with you. “Not gonna what, sweetheart?” The bastard knows exactly what he’s doing. Getting you all hot and bothered as revenge for dragging him away from your bedroom.

You shake your head. “Never mind,” you manage with a small smile. You can at least pretend he didn’t win your frustration.

You crawl into the makeshift bed and curl into him, his warm, strong body a balm against the slight October chill. A sigh escapes you as one of his hands finds its way under the edge of your shirt to pull you closer. You revel in the skin to skin contact and let it start to lull you under.

Sleep starts to take you, so you barely register Bucky’s fingers skimming the edge of your pants. You’re drifting off as he just begins to slide his hand into the waistband. You think you’re dreaming when he cups the space between your thighs.

You’re eyes snap open and you gasp as he runs his middle finger along your center and presses it firmly against your clit.

“Bucky,” you breathe into his ear.

“Shhh,” he begins rubbing tight circles, “quiet, sweetheart. There’s children here, remember?”

You groan and bury your face in his shoulder, trying to drown out the noises you can’t stop. “Bucky, please, I’m so close. Make me cum.”

He chuckles lowly and slows his fingers. You whine and buck towards his hand. “Now, why should I do that, darlin’?” He moves his finger down, barely pressing it inside you. “Teasing me all day, pushing me away.” He sinks in another centimeter, toying with you. “I think you should convince me.”

You’re desperate now, trying to push yourself down on his finger, but he won’t let you. “Anything, Bucky, please, I’m sorry, I need you, I need–” You’re babbling now. Breathless whispers in his ear. God, if he would just go a little deeper–

He pulls his finger away from you suddenly and shoves it into your mouth. You whimper but close your lips around it, anyway, sucking it down gratefully. “Too much noise, baby,” he muses, “I think there’s better things to do with that mouth of yours.”

You hum in agreement, moving less than gracefully on the unstable air mattress to straddle him, pulling desperately at his pants to pull his cock out. Rock hard and leaking. You hadn’t touched him all day, and it shows.

Bucky lounges back with his arms behind his head, taking in the glazed look in your eyes. You glance up thinking he looks a little too please with the state he’s put you in. You decide not to waste any time.

You sink your head down as far as you can, pressing your tongue up against him and sucking. Hard.

His hands fly immediately to your hair gripping hard as he grounds out a ‘fuck, baby.’ You smile inwardly. Two can play at this game.

You set a fast pace, setting your hands on his thighs for leverage. Truly and completely sucking his soul out through his dick.

He loses himself for a moment letting his hips thrust up into your mouth once, twice, before yanking you off of him and hauling you up to suck the taste of himself off your tongue. “Good girl, baby, good girl,” he mumbles into your mouth as he rolls you over. “Let me give you what you want, sweetheart, remind me.”

He narrowly avoids shredding your pants as he yanks them off you. You do the same for your shirt before tugging at his wanting to feel his skin against yours. “I want you, Bucky, I need you,” you’re babbling again, “I need your cock. I need to come all over you.”

He presses up against, his lips finding yours again, and grasps your thighs to wrap around his hips. “What else, darlin’, one more thing, I need to hear you say it.”

“I love you, Bucky.”

It’s finally enough. He plunges into you, clasping his hand over your mouth to muffle your scream. You claw at his back looking for leverage to thrust back, but all you can do is lay back and take it.

He fucking surrounds you. His whole hulking frame absolutely drowning you as he pounds his hips against yours. It’s so much. It’s almost too much, and you find yourself screaming against his hand again as your pussy clamps down around him over and over again.

“That’s it, honey, that’s what you need, huh?” You nod as best you can, but he doesn’t let up. “Do it again, baby, I need to feel you do it again.” He moves his hand from your mouth, and you moan. “God, I wish I could listen to you but you gotta stay quiet. Bite me,” he orders. And you do. He moves that hand down to where you’re joined and rubs hard, unforgiving circles on your nub.

You squeal into his shoulder and hold him tighter.

“Cum.”

You do. Hard and shaking against him until he stills, filling you gently compared to how he fucked you.

“I love you too.”

#sherrys fall into you challenge #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier imagine #the winter soldier fic #the avengers #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers fic #fanfic #avengers imagine #bucky barnes imagine

[buckysforeverprincess]

Switch -Part 1

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 3319

Warnings: Language, fuckery, and a body switch

A/N: This was a two part thing I wrote a while back. Here’s part one, part 2 will include some smut.

“James Barnes! What are you up to now?”

You walked in watching your boyfriend playing around with Wanda’s food that is clearly marked ‘Wanda’s! Do not touch!’ For the past month Bucky had been toying with the witch; switching her uniform at the last minute, stealing her makeup, hacking her cell phone and pranking the other avengers, and the latest…putting blue hair dye in her shampoo bottle. The super soldier was playing games with her, and eventually his shenanigans would catch up to and burn him badly. You wanted no part in his dumb fuckery!

“Relax, darlin’…I'm just having a little fun!” The winter soldier assures you, as you watch him take Wanda’s favorite pie, homemade apple, and sprinkle a white substance on top of it.

“What is that- wait...don't tell me! I need plausible deniability, so don't say a word!”

Your boyfriend starts laughing at you, and you just shake your head. “What? Can't I have a little fun?” Bucky smirks at you and gives you a wink.

You watch as he cuts a piece of the pie and places it on a plate. Bucky then grabs a bottle of whipped cream from the refrigerator, and puts a heaping amount of the white substance on the pie, essentially covering whatever it was he sprinkled on it.  

“Uh, where are you going with that?”

Bucky takes the plate and starts walking out of the kitchen to Wanda’s room. “To see Wanda, of course!” He blows you a kiss and heads out to find an unsuspecting Scarlet Witch.

“This is not going to end well!” You sigh and walk in the opposite direction of Bucky. This was his shit show, and you weren't sticking around to see its climax. Sometimes you question why you're in love with this stupid idiot.

You walked to the gym to get in some training with Nat. The two of you were heading out on a mission in a few days and you both wanted to brush up on your technique and form. Nat was helping you with a particularly difficult combination when a loud bang drew your attention to the gym doors, resulting in you taking a hit to the face.

“Fuck!” You place your hand to your lip, which was now bleeding.

“You better say focused.” Nat dryly responds, but you're not looking at her any more.

A very pissed off Wanda is angrily stalking her way over to you. She's red. Literally! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...what the hell did he do now?!

The witch moves in close to you and you can see her hands light up red, like she’s going to attack, and you weren’t sure if now was the proper time to expose yourself. You weren't exactly enhanced like Wanda, Steve, or Bucky, they were modified by scientists. You were an assassin like Nat, but you had a power you kept from the Avengers. That power would be useless right now against the raw emotion that is senoria psychopath heading your way. She's fixed on you and before she could get her red circles of fire thrown in your direction, Nat steps in front of you, shielding you from an upcoming blow.

“MOVE NAT!” Wanda says through gritted teeth.

“Wanda...what happened? You look angry.” Nat pointing out the obvious.

The witch looks directly at you. “She knows why!” Her glare is accusatory.

“I seriously have no idea what's going on?” This is exactly why you wanted no knowledge of Bucky’s assholery.

“There's no way you didn't know your boyfriend is an asshole!” She loudly exclaims, and you let out a laugh that is quickly ended by the pain from the recent hit.

“Of course, I know he's an asshat! That knowledge never escaped me!” Nat laughs at your comeback. They all know James is quite the practical joker. It's his coping mechanism. His jokes usually get more and more twisted whenever there's something from a mission that's bothering him. Many of the Avengers have been on the receiving end of his Tomfoolery, including you. That had all but stopped once the two of you started dating. Everyone else was still fair game.

“You mean to tell me, you know nothing about this?” The witch is yelling at you and pointing to her body at the same time.

“Wanda, you know James doesn't involve her in his fuckery!” The red head throws a smile in your direction, and you're grateful for the backup.

“Wanda, seriously I have no idea what he did!”

“I'm covered in hives! He had to have done something to my pie!” The woman starts to itch like crazy and you can't help but feel sorry for her.

“How much did you eat?” You're going to kill your asshole of a boyfriend...that is if you can find him. You suspect he's in hiding and is why she came at you like a woman possessed.

“He brought me a slice, said it was a peace offering. Of course, I ate it! It's my pie and it was so delicious. He left me alone with my slice and I ate it without question. He seemed so damn sincere!” Bucky’s a dead man, you thought when Wanda paused. So. Fucking. Dead!

“I went back for another slice, cause the first one was so good, but then I started to feel funny. I swelled up like the girl in that movie about the chocolate factory…my tongue, face, hands, everything!!! Luckily Steve was there in the kitchen and rushed me to medical. They gave me a shot, but now I'm covered in hives and I'm itchy!! What the fuck did he do?!”  

You wish you knew how to answer her. The fact is, this was the exact reason you didn't want to know. Whatever it was he sprinkled on her food gave the woman an allergic reaction and if you had known she wouldn't be going easy on you since she can read minds.  

Even though you loved the man, you knew he had to be stopped. You let out a sigh and decided it was time to divulge some information known to only one other person alive.  

“I can help…”

Wanda looked at you and stared into your soul. She lets out a gasp at the revelation at the forefront in your mind. “How does no one know this?” Guess that was understandable. She obviously wanted to know why this wasn't public knowledge.  

“That's how Fury wanted it. He holds all the cards, remember? When I joined he told me to bury it deep, or you'd read my mind. He likes to compartmentalize… only tells you what's needed. He said no one needed to know that about me, so I did what he said and kept it in the depths of my mind.” Wanda shakes her head in disbelief. If she wasn't going to before, she may just kill you now.

Nat keeps looking between the two of you. She has no idea what's going on, and she'd like to be in on the show and tell portion of the day. “Someone mind telling me what's going on?” She's crossed her arms and gives you her best bitch face.

Wanda gives a smirk and places her hands on her hips. “She's a natural.”

Nat gives a puzzled look, “natural pain in my ass?”

Wanda hysterically laughs at the red head.

“Natural witch.” The words feeling foreign coming from your mouth.

“What?!” Nat is clearly shocked and confused, wondering how she never knew any of this.

“Unlike Wanda, my power is inherent and dates back centuries to my mother’s bloodline.” The women were instantly invested in your life.  

Nat suddenly looks as if she has something in her head. “So, what can you do?” She gives you a look and you sense you're in trouble. It's not a smirk, but it's almost like she's running a scenario in her head.

“Lots of things. Stealth, I can get in or out without being seen.” The assassin has an epiphany moment and now knows how you never get hurt on missions. “I can control your mind, except...when I do it, it's like...I can tell you what to say.”

“Ventriloquism?” Wanda asks.

“Yes…just like that.” That particular gift you don't like to use. The end result is usually harder on you than the other person, so you told Fury it's off the table.  

“Anything else?” You can tell she's searching for something. There’s no telling with her what she wants to know.

“Well…yeah. There's way more stuff I can do. My mom taught me all about my powers and different spells-”

“Stop! Spells? You can do like, actual spells? Do you have a book to guide you?” Wanda seems way more interested in this now that she's realizing there's more to you than meets the eye.  

“I-I can do spells. Been doing those since I was a kid. I liked to make flowers grow when I walked. That was the very first spell I ever learned.” Smiling fondly at the memory but not missing the look on the faces of the two women staring at you with a purpose. “Shit!” You exclaim, and the pair starts laughing. “I regret everything.” Shaking your head. This was all your boyfriend's fault. He was about to be your dickless boyfriend for all his trouble and bullshit.  

“Ever done something where you've switched bodies?” Wanda wants to extract her pound of flesh.

“Um…” If you lie, Wanda will know, and if you use magic to get out of there, she’ll only come after you later. “I feel like you're about to punish me…” You try not to give too much away.

“Don't think of it like punishment. Think of it as getting back at your boyfriend for all the shitty things he's done, to everyone…including you.” Wanda has a shit eating grin on her face. 

You look at Nat, and she nods her head in approval. Letting out a sigh you resigned yourself to fate, “what's the plan?”

You walk into the room you share with Bucky and see him sitting on the bed, reading over your upcoming mission reports. “Someone's not supposed to be reading those.” You move over to your boyfriend holding two cups of hot chocolate.

“Am I wrong for wanting the love of my life to be safe?” He asks while grabbing one of the cups you were holding out.

“You do know I can take care of myself, right?”

Bucky nods his head in approval after taking a sip of the hot liquid, “I do know…but it never helps to have a backup plan, and if I must go in after you I need the full details…not Fury's idea of who's on first.”

Laughing at his Abbott and Costello reference (damn old super soldier), you watched as he continued to drink the mixture and fall into a place of comfort you often enjoyed at the end of the day.

“Oh!” You exclaimed, placing your cup down and smacking your asshole boyfriend on the side of his head

“Ouch! What the fuck, baby?!” You're giving him the scowl of his life and he just looks at you cluelessly.

“Thanks to your fuckery, in case you haven't noticed…I took a hit for you!” Pointing at the cut on your lip.

“I'm sorry, sweetie…,” he takes a sad look at the split in your lip, “I spent the greater part of the day hiding from Wanda.” Bucky gives a laugh while rubbing the back of his neck, “apparently what I did caused an allergic reaction? Guess I won't ever do that again!” His eyes look at you apologetically.

You knew he was sorry, but it still didn't change anything. Bucky was still an ass, but he was your ass. Besides he was about to get a healthy dose of what was coming to him. He just didn't know it yet.

“I used the kind of chocolate you like. The uber expensive crap.”

Bucky laughed at you and took another drink of the cooling hot chocolate. “It tastes really good. Thanks, baby.” The soldier finishes his drink and sets the cup down. “You almost done?” He asks you as he gets up from the bed, making his way to the bathroom.

“Almost.” You blow on it pretending to cool it down, before taking a drink and finishing it off.  

Bucky comes back in takes your cup, setting it down next to his. The two of you get ready for bed, and you decide on wearing a tight thong, instead of your boyfriend’s shorts and small tank top that reveals a slight bit of boobage at the bottom. It does not go unnoticed by him and he makes good to ask about it.

“I thought you hated those?”

You give him your bestest, softest smile. “I thought I'd try them again. I know you took the time to pick them out, so I wanted to show you I appreciate the thought.”  

James gives a warm smile and kisses you on the lips. “I love you.” He walks away and climbs into bed and you do the same.

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Curling up in his arms. He may not love you later, but at least he does now.

Waking up in the morning you could feel pain coming from your shoulder. You aren't fully awake, but the pain was a very real thing. Moving your hand from around your boyfriend, you work your way up to where the pain begins, and you feel something metal you’ve never felt on you before.

You immediately open your eyes and take a quick look around the room. ‘Shit!’ You internally scream as your eyes land on the sleeping female body next to you.  

You start to move and throw the covers off you, exposing the ass of the body next to you. ‘What the hell…is that what my ass looks like?’ Even in slumber, you can see it's perkiness. ‘I can't wait to see what my boobs look like!’ you quietly thought to yourself. Maybe this whole thing might not be so bad after all.  

Getting up out of bed you fall right onto the floor. Hoping you didn't wake the super soldier, you try to move but you don't have the functionality you were used to. In your body, you were 125 pounds of grace and agility. In this body, there’s a metal arm and you weren't sure how to function with this additional weight keeping you off balance.

Crawling to the door, you quietly open it and look back to the bed. Thankfully the body is still sleeping, so you continue to crawl out of your shared room and into the living quarters of the Avengers compound.  

“Bucky, what the fuck are you doing?” Wanda looks at you and questioning your unimpressive commando crawl.

“Shut the door!” You quietly demand of the witch as you make your way to one of the couches for support. The voice came out deeper than expected and it's obviously going to take some getting used too. Thank god this spell only lasts for twenty-four hours. You couldn't imagine having to live in your boyfriend’s body much longer than that.

“Wanda…not…Bucky…” You're panting as you try to lift yourself up off the ground.

“Y/N?” She moves over to help lift you off the ground. “It actually worked!” The witch exclaims, sitting you down on the couch.

You look at her, giving her the famous Barnes grin, “you doubted me? I just didn't expect his arm to be so heavy!”  

The enhanced woman starts laughing at you your pain. “Honey, your him…use his muscles. That body must be good for something!”

Smiling at her, you agree. You know firsthand this body can do miraculous things, but right now, there was only one thing on your mind. “Wanda...I really have to pee!”  

You steady yourself, gathering your footing and make your way to the communal bathrooms. Wanda stands outside the door, patiently waiting for you to do your business.

“Um...how do I do this?” You yell, looking down at the toilet.

“Whip it out and go?” Wanda says it like it’s just that simple.

“Ewww! That requires touching his dick!” You seem disgusted by the idea of holding his cock.

“How else do you put it in your mouth? I would think touching it would be infinitely better than placing it between your lips, watching his ‘O’ face!”

Point taken. You stand there and reluctantly take his penis from the shorts. It feels weird, holding it in your hand like it was nothing and yet... Bucky gets to do this all the time. Oh, god! Would he be touching your body the same way? Not an image you want to think about. You really didn’t think this through.

Standing at the toilet, you begin to concentrate, but it's almost like his dick knows what to do, and suddenly an odd feeling comes over you as the warm liquid starts shooting out the hole.

“Holy fuck, Wanda…I'm peeing!” The feeling is like being two and potty training all over again, watching the yellow liquid enter the toilet. You begin playing around and moving your hips, and then grab the large cock and start making letters with urine. “This is so fucking amazing!! Do guys actually have this much fun with this? Why am I not a dude!!” You yell out to the woman standing on the other side of the door.

“Because you're a lady and have some self-respect! Hurry it up…Barnes has yet to wake up!”  

Finishing up, you flush and wash your hands. Walking out to meet Wanda, the woman is smirking at you with her arms crossed. “Had your fun?” She raises her eyebrows in question.

“I'm so enjoying this!”  

You arrive back in the kitchen, which is right across from the bedroom Bucky and you share and grab your favorite mug for coffee. The creamer is in the fridge and you can't have coffee without it. Once you have it situated, you take a sip of the toxic waste and let out an insanely pornographic moan.

“For a second there, I thought you and Y/N were fucking in the kitchen again with that moan!” You hear Sam say, entering the kitchen with Steve. “Ya’ know she's gonna kill you right? Her mug and her creamer? Nice knowing you man!” The falcon slaps a hand to your shoulder and starts to laugh.

“Where is she anyway?” Steve looks around. “Figured she'd be up by now.”

All you can do is shrug. You've already given too much of yourself away with the coffee. No more slip ups until after Bucky wakes up.  

“Morning all!” Nat walks in seeing almost everyone gathered around the island in the kitchen.

The group answers back, minus you. You're drawing a blank at how Bucky usually acknowledges her in the morning.

“Everything ok, James?” The redhead inquires giving you a suspicious look.

“I'm good.” The words come up muffled, as your face is in your coffee mug.

“You sure? Where’s Y/N?” Nat’s smirking now, finally catching on.

“Think she still in bed…,” Wanda responds, saving you from certain death, “James must've worn her out last night!” Wanda crosses her arms and gives you a wink, you just glare at her burning a hole in her soul.  

Before you could do anything else, a blood curdling scream comes from the direction of your room. Everyone is up and heading to the door a few feet away, but the door flies open, and everyone is met with the sight of your body; dressed in the short tank top that slightly exposes your breasts and the black too tight thong James bought for you. All eyes are looking at him/you and boy...does he look like an angry chihuahua!

“Who's going explain what the fuck is going on, and where in the hell is my body?!”

#bucky #bucky barnes #winter soldier #james barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #james barnes x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes x reader #body switch

[kimabutch]

JLCR: kimabutch edition

To celebrate somehow reaching 1000 songs on Jam Like Critical Role, the giant fan-created playlist that I’ve been curating since February, I’ve decided to put together a mini-playlist of own, featuring two of my favourite songs for each member of Vox Machina and The Mighty Nein! Each song has a YouTube link, but you can find the whole mini-playlist on Spotify here.

By mini-playlist I meant that there are “only” 36 songs, and also that I’ve pulled out my favourite lines and explained why I associate the song with them, so that this whole thing is approximately 5400 words long. I tried to restrain myself, but, well, Jam Like Critical Role is a testament to my lack of self-restraint. If it helps, I’ve tried to incorporate a diversity of artists, eras, and genres, from folk-punk to techno, country, dream-pop, classical, and beyond. I hope you find something you enjoy.

Grog

We’re Going To Be Friends, Jack Johnson (cover of White Stripes), for Grog and Pike’s incredibly wholesome childhood friendship. While many of the lyrics describe friends at school, which is not totally accurate for them, I can just imagine the two weirdos playing among the bugs:

“Walk with me, Suzy Lee/ Through the park and by the tree/ We can rest upon the ground/ And look at all the bugs we’ve found”

Not to mention Pike teaching Grog his ABCs:

“Tonight I’ll dream while in my bed/ While silly thoughts run through my head/ Of the bugs and alphabet”

I just love these two silly monstahs.

Giant, Juno Reactor: to balance out that last song, have some techno that makes me want to yell “Vox Machina, Fuck. Shit. UP!” and split Kevdak in half with a nat 20 from the sky. Appropriately named for our goliath friend, this song always temporarily convinces me that I, too, am a seven foot tall barbarian (which is not recommended while you are trying to do anything that requires brainpower.)

Keyleth

I Lost Myself, Lauren Mann and The Fairly Odd Folk, for Keyleth’s self-doubt about whether she can do her Aramente (or whether she even wants to) and fear that she’s hurting everyone:

“I’ve got voices in my head Making me think that this is where I end Hey, what do you see, if anything What do you see in me”

This specifically reminds me of her Aramente, and how it taught her so much more than she was expecting:

“You and me we made a plan To travel from here to there and back again Somewhere on that weathered road I found the dreams that I’d been looking for”

And “Hey, we’ve got the world to see/ So let’s forget our anxieties and get on our way” makes me think of Keyleth and Percy’s friendship, and how both of their stories are about trying to figure out what to do once you’ve achieved your goals. I want to think that after the story ended, they were still occasionally able to leave behind their responsibilities and travel the world together.

Take Us Back, Alela Diane, for a post-canon Keyleth, reminiscing on the old days and eventually outliving the rest of Vox Machina. I get a strong image of Kiki coming down from Zephra to see her friends:

“Atop the crags and cliffs the air is thin/ So we’ll find a mountain path on down the hill/ Meet me where the snowmelt flows/ It is there, my dear, where we’ll begin again”

And of her listening to Scanlan’s music, centuries later; they’d be the last two alive: “I’ve a friend who lives out by the river’s mouth/ He knows the fiddle’s cry is an old sound”

And then Keyleth, alone, listening to a river’s gurgle or the wind’s howling, and almost thinking she hears her friends: “Muted voices, just beyond/ The silent surface of what has gone.”

Percival

The Devil Spoke Here, Chicken Little, which I think is actually about the aftermath of a protest, but which I feel works eerily well for Percy’s development following the Briarwood arc. The beginning reminds me of his guilt, feelings of brokenness, and anger issues after he’s cast out Orthax — right down to his guilt about guns:

“There’s bullets in the streets/ and broken dishes on the floor/   enough anger in my heart/   to take the blame for it all/   I could take every bullet back/   if I could never feel like that”

It also covers Percy’s realization, after his conversation with the Raven Queen, that he’s free from the judgment of the gods, and acceptance that he’s the one who has bad thoughts for the greater good:

“I have no god for guidance/ still I’m praying all the same/ may everything I do/ be done for everybody’s gain”

And then this, for a reason that I can’t quite explain, feels so much like Percy’s forgiveness of Ripley at Glintshore, and his death at her hand:

“May we always fail/ with the best of intentions/   with our hearts always pure/   and our souls only human”

Wandering Star, Portishead: the weird trip hop vibe to this song somehow feels appropriate to Percy, and in particular to his darkest thoughts. The song addresses the possible punishments for these thoughts: “Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved/ The blackness, the darkness, forever.” It helps that this is an allusion to a Bible passage about atheists.

The second verse makes me think both of Percy’s relationship to the concept of eternity (because of the “needle’s eye” — a parable about the entrance of heaven for the rich) and his raven mask:

“Those who have seen the needle’s eye, now tread Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled And the masks that the monsters wear To feed, upon their prey”

Additionally, “Doubled up inside/ Take a while to shed my grief” is reminiscent of Percy’s revelation, in the last episode, that he just really fucking misses his family. This whole time, something inside of him has been curled up into a little ball like the teenager he was five years ago, grieving his family.

Pike

Holy, Jamily Woods: a song about self-love and self-assurance, underscored by Christian imagery:

“Though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no love/ Oh my smile my mind reassure me I don’t need no one […] Woke up this morning with my mind set on loving me”

Many of the lyrics can be interpreted either as the singer being self-sufficient because her god is there — or being sufficient even beyond her god: “I’m not lonely, I’m alone/ And I’m holy by my own.”

I think both interpretations work for Pike: that she has found (or is attempting to find) peace when she’s not with her friends, or that although she worships Sarenrae, the Everlight doesn’t necessarily interfere in her day-to-day life and she makes her own happiness. Either way, the song makes me feel at peace in the same way that Pike does.

The Otherside, Ohbijou, for Pike’s feelings about Scanlan during the year gap. Particularly, I’m reminded of Pike’s attempts to talk to Scanlan on the earring: “With things left unsaid so unsatisfied/ And a burning to hear your voice just one more time.”

And in these lyrics:

“And it’s so silly for me to worry/ About situations that don’t exist/ We create these problems and try to solve them/ Why waste each passing moment?”

I hear Pike trying to figure out her feelings for Scanlan, but shooting herself down because he’s gone, why even try?

Scanlan

The Pilgrim - Chapter 33, Willie Nelson (cover of Kris Kristofferson), which really encapsulates, for me, Scanlan’s complex relationship with religion: the fact that a guy who regularly produces lightning from his dick, messes with people’s memories, and actively attempts to cultivate a drug habit finds himself praying to the Everlight at night and eventually becomes Ioun’s chosen:

“He’s a poet, he’s a picker/ He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher/ He’s a pilgrim and a preacher/ And a problem when he’s stoned”

The lines “He’s a walking contradiction/ Partly truth and partly fiction” reminds me of all the identities he’s taken on, both for fun and to shield his emotions from his friends, whereas “Taking every wrong direction on his lonely way back home” makes me think of Scanlan’s long road back to Vox Machina after leaving them.

Handle With Care, Traveling Wilburys: almost every single song on this album works for Scanlan, so choosing just one was a real challenge. But this song is so good for all the shit that Scanlan’s been through (and all the shit that he’s been), and his relationship with Pike through all of that:

“Been beat up and battered around/ Been sent up, and I’ve been shot down/ You’re the best thing that I’ve ever found/ Handle me with care […]”

“Everybody’s got somebody to lean on” reminds me of Scanlan’s feeling, in episode 85, that he’s the odd one out in Vox Machina.

The last verse encapsulates Scanlan acknowledging his own fuck ups, working to make them right, and eventually, having a healthy relationship with Pike:

“I’ve been uptight and made a mess/ But I’ll clean it up myself, I guess/ Oh, the sweet smell of success”

Taryon

Father and Son, Cat Stevens, for Tary’s relationship with his father and his decision to leave home; the song is a duet of sorts. I think the father’s part of the song is a little generous for Howaardt Darrington, but retains the message of (somewhat condescendingly) trying to keep his son at home and have him reconsider his far-reaching plans: “I know that it’s not easy to be calm/ When you’ve found something going on.”

The son’s part, though, captures Tary’s frustration with his father’s strictness and inability to actually understand his passions:

“How can I try to explain?/ ‘Cause when I do he turns away again/ It’s always been the same, same old story/ From the moment I could talk/ I was ordered to listen/ Now there’s a way and I know/ That I have to go away”

And the last verse is some real closeted gay feelings that always make me tear up:

“All the times that I cried/ Keeping all the things I knew inside/ It’s hard, but it’s harder to ignore it”

What’s It Gonna Be, Shura, not so much for the song’s lyrics, but for its music video, which is all about falling for a different gender than you expected, and which is incredibly sweet and beautiful.

That being said, you could definitely take the lyrics to be about his crush on Percy and his obliviousness about who in Vox Machina is sleeping with whom:

“Do I tell you I love you or not?/ 'Cause I can’t really guess what you want/ If you let me down, let me down slow”

Vax’ildan

Glorious, Muse, for Vax’s early relationship with faith. He can’t help but feel drawn towards Sarenrae’s light, even as he has doubts and perhaps even anger towards the gods:

Faith: It drives me away/ But it turns me on/ Like a stranger’s love It rockets through the universe It fuels the lies and feeds the curse And we, too, could be glorious”

He wants that glory that he sees in Pike, but he doesn’t know how to approach it or reconcile it with his life experiences. And then he finds his whole world shattered as he’s chosen by the Raven Queen, and he once again has to find faith, though in a way that he never expected:

“I need to believe But I still want more With the cuts and the bruises”

Fields of Gold, Sting: a song from Vax to Keyleth. I can imagine them so perfectly in this scene, perhaps during their year of downtime, with the winds of Zephra blowing through the fields and their hope beyond hope that they’ll be able to stay together:

“Will you stay with me? Will you be my love?/ Upon the fields of barley/ We’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky/ As we lie in fields of gold”

“See the west wind move like a lover so/ Upon the fields of barley/ Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth/ Among the fields of gold”

Years later, Vax knows that Keyleth will see those fields again and think of him: “You’ll remember me when the west wind moves/ Upon the fields of barley.”

Vex’ahlia

Half Jack, The Dresden Dolls: a truly haunting song about the pain and unavoidability of being her father’s daughter — she’s always half Jill (her mother) and half Jack (her father.) The whole song is incredibly painful for Vex, and the lines:

“It might destroy me But I’d sacrifice my body If it meant I’d get the Jack part out”

always makes me think of “If I could pull the blood of you from my veins and give it back, I would.” Also,

“But if you listen/ You’ll learn to hear the difference/ Between the halfs and the half nots”

reminds me of her asking Percy if she looks like she comes from money — or a younger Vex, in Syngorn, gradually realizing why everyone looked down on her and Vax. Lastly, isn’t “I see my mother in my face/ But only when I travel” absolutely heartbreaking for her?

Fall Down or Fly, Lindi Ortega, only partly because Lindi Ortega strongly resembles my headcanon for Vex. The other part is because of my abiding love for how Vex learned to fly, and how that worked with her character arc: from the first time, in the Briarwoods arc, that she discovered her love for flying, to her flaunting convention and stealing the broom, to Percy modifying it for her, to her friends cheering her on with chicken target practice, and finally to her soaring through the skies with confidence. And the song captures that so well for me, as well as her decision to keep going even when her father, Saundor’s words, and her own self-doubt bring her down:

“This is your life/ You can fall down or fly/ You can burn out a shot if you want/ This is your life/ You can live it or die/ You can quit now or try if you want/ But don’t you give up, don’t you give up”

This also reminds me of how much all of Vox Machina adores and supports Vex (and I will join them in crying about how awesome she is):

“You said what is there to lose?/ Do it if you choose/ I got faith in you/ Everything you do/ I know you are gonna make it to the top”

(I also maintain that a modern Vex would be really into country music, particularly the genre of country song in which women tell people to fuck off.)

Vox Machina

Call Them Brothers, Regina Spektor feat. Only Son, for Scanlan’s departure from Vox Machina and the whole team’s attempts to deal with it. I first heard this song in an absolutely heartbreaking TAZ animatic, and my pain increased exponentially when I realized how much it also worked for Critical Role. It’s perfect, in my opinion, for the sense that their family, which has seen them through so much, is irreparably broken — “That’s it, it’s split, it won’t recover/ Just frame the halves and call them brothers.”

But then you also get “Over and over, they call us their friends/ Can’t we find something else to pretend?” for Scanlan’s insistence that Vox Machina doesn’t really care about him, and “Find your fathers and your mothers/ If you remember who they are” for “what’s my mother’s name?”

Maybe this should go on Scanlan’s playlist, but I think “The hunt is on, everyone’s chasing a shot” also works for the way that the rest of Vox Machina independently searched for Scanlan during their year of downtime… and the feelings of defeat in the song just feel appropriate to the whole group.

(I actually have a playlist full of songs for episode 85, because I enjoy making myself sad; it took a lot of effort not to put them all here.)

Freaks, The Hawk in Paris: I can never decide whether this is a Mighty Nein or Vox Machina song, but I’m putting it here mostly because “If you come along with us, the doors are never ending” is absolutely hilarious in for Vox Machina’s single greatest enemy.

That, and there are a lot of lines that work for individual members of the group: “We have a flair for the shade and the inbetween” (Vax); “We like to run with the wolves from the darker scene” (Keyleth); “When we turn the safety off, the shots are automatic” (Percy); “All our friends tell their friends we’re so dramatic” (Scanlan); and “We’ll make you swoon, make it hurt just a little” (Vex).

Additionally, “We have a plan, we’ve got the means for your liberation/ You’ll only have to blur the lines on a few occasions” makes me think of the Briarwood arc, and I makes me think of Percy dramatically revealing his identity to the priest — and cut to Grog pulling out a guy’s tongue.

Anyways, if I learn to make AMVs by the time that the animated series is released, this will be the first that I’ll make.

Beauregard

Saint Simon, The Shins, for Beau’s escape from the Cobalt Soul. The song expresses frustration at weighty intellectualism and how much it doesn’t teach you — which i think is something Beau felt strongly with her monk teachers:

“After all these implements and texts designed by intellects/ So vexed to find, evidently there’s still so much that hides […] Since I don’t have time nor mind to figure out the nursery rhymes/ That helped us out in making sense of our lives”

So she tries not to care about anything because it’s safer that way (“The cruel, uneventful state of apathy releases me”), and she runs away:

“I’ll try hard not to give in, batten down to fare the wind/ Rid my head of this pretence, allow myself no mock defence/ Step into the night”

I think the last part of the song could also work for her meeting the Mighty Nein and starts understanding friendship and love: “Mercy’s eyes are blue when she places them in front of you/ Nothing really holds a candle to the solemn warmth you feel inside you.”

Jonas and Ezekiel, Indigo Girls, because what kind of lesbian would I be if I didn’t put at least one gay-written song on Beau’s playlist? This one is about road trips, wandering, and looking for a purpose:

“I left my anger in a river running Highway 5 New Hampshire, Vermont, bordered by College farms, hubcaps, and falling rocks Voices in the woods and the mountaintops”

But also contains one verse that I think fits her strict family, her new family in the Mighty Nein, and the “devils” — or tieflings — of which her family would certainly not approve:

“Now when I was young my people taught me well/ Give back what you take or you’ll go to hell/ It’s not the devil’s land, you know it’s not that kind/ Every devil I meet becomes a friend of mine/ Every devil I meet is an angel in disguise”

And something about this reminds me of her journey into Xhorhas and attempts to uncover conspiracies and work out the truth: “In the war over land where the world began/ Prophecies say it’s where the world will end.”

Caduceus

Born at the Right Time, Paul Simon, for Caduceus’s belief in destiny and his place therein. The chorus describes his occasional naïveté, and the happiness of his life in the Blooming Grove, with his family:

“Never been lonely Never been lied to Never had to scuffle in fear Nothing denied to”

And then gets into his conviction that his goddess and the world itself put him where he is:

“Born at the instant/ The church bells chime/ And the whole world whispering/ Born at the right time”

The very chill vibe of the song is also very Clay, to me.

Happy All the Time, Danny Schmidt: the singer himself has said that he doesn’t know whether or not this song is ironic and/or melancholic, so I’m going to go with a sincere and cheerful interpretation for Caduceus, with maybe a hint of nostalgia for more peaceful days among his family. It’s got some incredibly lush and occasionally strange nature imagery that I think is perfect for him:

“I took the time to breathe cause I was happy all the time/ Among the rootbuds and the weeds cause I was happy all the time/ But the peat moss and the leaves took turns with both my feet/ Until my toes took root and I was happy, I was happy all the time”

I think Caduceus is still happy, but he was definitely at peace as a hermit.

Caleb

I Miss That Feeling, Tennis: a song about panic attacks and how the physical effects, when described, almost seem like falling in love. It works not only for Caleb’s panic attacks, but also, relatedly, his relationship with fire, which scares him, even as he likes the way it feels — “Something like pleasure, you’d never believe it.”

The fiery way that the singer describes panic attacks is also very Caleb:

“I miss that feeling/ Flicker hot and hovering/ Like my own discovering/ Eagerly, tenderly/ I miss that feeling/ Flicker spread into an itch/ Into a burn, into a twitch/ Slow and even”

It brings me back to the first time we saw it, in the gnoll mines. Also, “Every little thing starts trembling/ Recorded by the needle of an EKG” feels very reminiscent of his hospitalization, though from a modern perspective.

Putting the Dog to Sleep, The Antlers, for Caleb’s very tentative trust in the Mighty Nein, and in particular his friendship with Beau. I think this song really encapsulates Caleb’s pain and skittishness, especially near the beginning of their campaign, as well as his desperation (unknown even to himself) to love again:

“Well, prove to me I’m not gonna die alone/ Unstitch that shit I’ve sewn/ To close up the hole that tore through my skin/ Well my trust in you is a dog with a broken leg/ Tendons too torn to beg for you to let me back in”

And this feels like something that Beau would say to Caleb — upfront and caring all at the same time, reminding him that his actions affect everyone else and asking him not to run:

“You said, ‘I can’t prove to you you’re not gonna die alone/ But trust me to take you home/ To clean up that blood all over your paws/ You can’t keep running out […] Kicking yourself in the head/ Because you’re kicking me too.’”

By the end of the song, Caleb is starting to believe her, and even asking her to trust him: “Put your trust in me/ I’m not gonna die alone… I don’t think so…”

Fjord

Release the Kraken, The Daysleepers: I added this to Fjord’s playlist back when everyone was speculating that his patron was something kraken-like, and even now that this is clearly not the case, I think it still works for Uk’otoa (Uk’otoa) and his attempts at freedom: “It pulled the ships down/ It’s rising from the deep below.”

But also for Fjord’s relationship with Avantika — for his attempts to get close to her in order to save himself and his friends:  

“Turn the lights down Careful as a serpent’s tongue Move without a sound Gentle as the cold wind moans”

I think “When you sold love/ Your heart becomes a monster” is some of what Fjord felt after those encounters: like he gave part of himself away.

21st Century Child, Daggy Man, for Fjord’s self-hatred and the masks he puts on. Many of the lyrics could fit several characters (particularly Beau, Caleb, and Scanlan), but

“I hate the sound of myself/ When I’m being honest/ Sounds like somebody else/ And I don’t wanna listen/ To the whinings of a 21st century child”

just perfectly captures his feelings about his voice and his past self — weak and whiny, and not who he wants to be. And then we get these lines, which feel like a good summary of his issues with identity and deception:

“And I’ve struggled with how/ Others perceive me/ And I can’t tell if I’m better/ Or just better at deceiving And I’ll keep going until I’m called out”

Jester

The Sweetest Sounds, Ella Fitzgerald (cover of Richard Rodgers), for pre-stream Jester barely waiting for her exciting life to begin. I first heard this song in Rodger & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, and while there is something fairy-tale-like about Jester, I think this upbeat, jazzy cover fits her well:

“The most entrancing sight of all Is yet for me to see And the dearest love in all the world Is waiting somewhere for me”

I can just imagine a 10-year-old Jester listening to the band at the Lavish Chateau play this song, dressing up in Marion’s clothes, and pretending she’s in a storybook romance.

One Hand in my Pocket, Alanis Morissette, which really captures her beautiful complexity:

“I’m free, but I’m focused/ I’m green, but I’m wise/ I’m hard, but I’m friendly/ I’m sad, but I’m laughing”

because Jester is so many things all at once, and none of them negate each other. It’s so hopeful (“What it all comes down to/ Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright”) and comforting (“What it all boils down to/ Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet”) in a way that really reminds me of my favourite blue cleric.

The whole song has such a fun, free, summer vibe that always makes me smile — just like Jester.

Mollymauk

Carnival Overture, Antonín Dvořák (Leonard Bernstein & New York Philharmonic Orchestra): one of my favourite pieces of classical music ever — when I hear it, an entire music video about a carnival plays in my head. The exuberant theme that bowls you over from the start reminds me of Molly’s effervescent, ostentatious personality.

The slower and quieter part in the middle with the violin and woodwind solos gives me a picture of Molly and Yasha sitting alone in the evenings just outside the carnival encampment, cuddled together — Yasha talking about her wife, Molly telling jokes, and the both of them making up names for constellations and flowers. Then the quick-paced minor section makes me think of the bloodhunter tiefling in combat, deadly with his swords and vicious mockery — before the return to the joyful, triumphant original theme.

Wonderful Everyday, Chance the Rapper & The Social Experiment**: this is sort of a cover of the Arthur theme song, but in the absolute best way possible. The meandering, loose, and extraordinarily happy vocals always remind me of Molly’s way of living.

Although some of the lyrics are more optimistic than Molly (I think he’d laugh at “Everybody that you meet/ Has an original point of view” and say that their points of view are usually bullshit), the message of appreciating every single day is just wonderful for him.

And the last bit hits me like a ton of bricks:

“And when I go down/ I'ma go down swinging/ My eyes still smiling/ And my heart still singing”

“Eyes never shut,” indeed.

**not on Spotify, sorry!

Nott

The Sore Feet Song, Ally Kerr: at first it appears to be a simple song about traveling long distances to find your love, which certainly describes Nott’s search for Yeza: “I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you/ And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you.”

But the second verse is where it really gets into Nott’s thieving, rat-eating, badass ways:

“I stole ten thousand pounds, ten thousand pounds to see you I robbed convenient stores cause I thought they’d make it easier I lived off rats and toads, and I starved for you I fought off giants bears and I killed them too”

I love this strange little goblin.

Fox in the Snow, Belle & Sebastian: this song has always been a bit of a mystery to me, but the lyrics remind me of Nott’s intense vulnerability after she was transformed into a goblin — and in particular her self-image as something animalistic:

“Fox in the snow, where do you go/ To find something you could eat?/ Because the word out on the street is you are starving/ Don’t let yourself grow hungry now/ Don’t let yourself grow cold”

The second verse, which switches to describing a human girl, reminds me of pre-transformation Veth, more acceptable in body but no less socially ostracized than Nott:

“Girl in the snow, where do you go/ To find someone that will do?/ To tell someone all the truth before it kills you/ Listen to your crazy laugh/ Before you hang a right/ And disappear from sight/ What do they know anyway?”

I can just see that exact scene play out with a young Veth, right down to the “crazy laugh.” I’m glad she found Yeza, but she must still have been pretty lonely without any other friends.

Yasha

Into the Barrens, Grizfolk, for Yasha’s years of blank wandering after Zuala’s death. This song fits Yasha so well that for months, I somehow tricked myself into believing that Ashley had put it on her playlist. But I feel like this encapsulates her hopeless feelings, away from all society, not living for anything or anyone:

“Cast me away, my shadow’s cold/ Into the barrens where I will grow old/ Well, I’m not looking for answers/ And I’m not looking for gold”

And I can see this verse for the beginning of her relationship with the Stormlord, following voices she can’t understand as she wanders, barely alive:

“The voices in my head/ They echo in the wind and I begin to sway/ I follow what they say/ I can’t see their eyes, but I hear howling through the haze”

Dreams, Fleetwood Mac: technically a break-up song, but I can’t help but think of Yasha’s ever-present guilt and her memories of Zuala when I hear:

“Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness/ Like a heartbeat drives you mad/ In the stillness of remembering what you had/ And what you lost”

The storm imagery also works for Yasha — “When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know” makes me think of her fight with the Stormlord on the boat, which allowed her to open up to her friends. And it touches on Yasha’s opaque dreams (“Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions/ I keep my visions to myself”).

(Ally and Stevie also have a lesbian mash-up of Dreams and Rhiannon, two of the gayest Fleetwood Mac songs, that I associate strongly with Beauyasha.)

Mighty Nein

Old Black Train, The Blasting Company (from Over the Garden Wall): trains don’t exist in Exandria (yet! — Percy or Taryon should get on that) but this is more of a metaphor for life. It reminds me of the Mighty Nein setting out from Alfield, not knowing the twists and turns they were going to face, the places they’d go, nor the family they’d become:

“This journey is a long one/ It will take you all around/ Life rushing by your window/ Before it lays you down”

Then there’s this verse:

“Oh come on now young stranger/ Weren’t you someone’s son? How’d you find this depot 'Cause it ain’t where you belong”

which feels very appropriate for many members of the Mighty Nein, separated as they are from their families and wandering in lands that aren’t welcoming to them. There’s also a verse that’s reminiscent of the graveyard they passed on the way to Zadash, which more and more feels like a portent of things to come:

“You will pass a graveyard/ Stones worn by the years/ The train’ll stop a minute but don’t let it leave you here”

Sailing, Leisure Cruise: another song about transportation, although this one is a little less metaphorical. As you can probably guess, I associate it with their adventures on the Mystake and the Ball Eater, which begun by total accident but which, in my opinion, was a turning point for the group, and ultimately helped them grow closer together:

“And to our surprise we’re sailing The high seas in the middle of the ocean […] We’re sailing the wildest mystery And to our surprise we’re happy and free”

Okay, so maybe “happy and free” is a bit of an exaggeration for that arc (particularly for poor Nott) but I think there were a lot of moments in which the Mighty Nein learned unexpected lessons about themselves.

And I think this is a good summary of the Mighty Nein’s modus operandi: seize every passing opportunity, because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring:

“Maybe it’s today Maybe it’s tomorrow But we have to make a play Or the chance will fade away”

And that’s a wrap! Thanks for listening and reading. Love you all <3

#critical role #Cr music #my stuff

[firethatgrewsolow]

Swiss Time - Chapter Twenty-One

**Thanks for reading and hope you like it! The clock is closing in ... <3 PS - expect fluff :-)**

We’re off, Nattie. I suppose it’s a good thing that you didn’t want to come, considering you were near comatose when I came downstairs to say goodbye. There’s water and aspirin on your nightstand and orange juice in the refrigerator, courtesy of Christian. I would have let you suffer.

Natalie shook her head at the evil smiley face her aunt had drawn. Christ, she was definitely suffering and pretty certain that at some point her head was going to explode. She crawled out of bed and snatched up the aspirin, knocking them back with the lukewarm water. Grimacing, she returned to her nest, pulling up the covers around her as she continued to read.

We likely won’t be back for close to a week, so please take care of Duchess. Change her water every day, and make sure to wash the bowl. Her food is in the pantry, along with her brush and some of her toys. Her favorite is the little pink mouse. Make sure it’s filled with catnip at all times. And don’t forget her music. She enjoys classical, but only in the morning. In the evening, she prefers jazz.

Nat rolled her eyes. The cat got better treatment than she and Christian did. Her annoyance faded away as she heard a faint mewl next to her, and she bent over, smiling as Duchess sprang onto the bed. Running her fingers through the kitten’s soft gray fur, she turned her attention back to the note.

You should be set in terms of groceries as I had extra delivered before the party, but feel free to order more or dine at the hotel. Just charge it to Christian.

Natalie’s stomach grumbled. A good sign in the midst of the worst hangover she’d ever had. At least she could still eat. The aspirin was beginning to work, as well. Maybe she’d actually live through the day.

Okay, that covers it. You have our hotel information should you need to contact us. Have a wonderful, relaxing week, darling. Oh, and one more thing. Apparently, you spoke to Robert on the phone last night. It was a rather animated conversation. At least, what I caught of it, which unfortunately was only about half.

Nat stilled. She’d spoken to Robert? Oh, shit. She replayed the evening, what she could remember of it, racking her brain for a clue about the conversation. Did I call him? Or did he call me? Surely she’d not given in and phoned him. Oh, God. She breathed a sigh of relief as she read the next line.

In case you’re wondering, he called you. Anyway, after a rather interesting exchange, you told him to ring you at 3:00 sharp. Today. Given your state last night, I thought I’d remind you. Love to you, sweet. See you when we return.

Natalie’s eyes darted to the clock, her heart pounding. 2:58 … 2:59 … 3:00 She warily shifted her gaze to the phone on her bedside table, its silence a blaring warning of yet another broken promise. Still, she waited, hopeful. One minute ticked by, then a second, and then a third. By the fourth, the familiar pang of disappointment washed over her. By the fifth, she gave up, her eyes welling. What did you expect? He never comes through. She stood, squaring her shoulders as Duchess scampered under the bed. Fuck him. Get on with the day.

She was due to meet a group of friends at the Christmas market later that evening, but her desire to go had been vanquished. She padded to the french doors that led to the patio and pushed them open, taking in the glorious view. Even with a chill in the air, it never failed to uplift her, the sublime beauty of the nature around her like a tonic that could cure all ails. Except today. Stretching, she determined she needed another tonic - hair of the dog and a soak in the hot tub.

Natalie headed to the bathroom, shedding her clothes along the way. She brushed her teeth and pulled up her hair, splashing cold water on her face to wash away the night. Satisfied with what peered back at her, she grabbed a towel and made her way toward the porch, freezing mid-stride. She glanced toward the ceiling, certain that she’d heard something upstairs. Or someone. Wrapping the towel tightly around her, she tiptoed to the landing, tilting her head. She waited a beat, and then another. Silence. Finally convinced all was well, she whirled around, slamming into what felt like a wall. She shrieked as she realized it was human.

“Whoa! It’s just me ...” Robert trailed off as her towel hit the floor, his eyes sailing up and down her completely naked form. He barely registered her scowl and the swift smack of his shoulder as she scrambled for the wrap.

“Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?”

“Well, hello to you, too, Nat.”

“How the hell did you get in?”

Robert gestured to the french doors that were wide open. “Nobody answered upstairs so I came around back. It was … open.” His eyes traced her frame as his mouth curled up. “Do you always traipse around so scantily clad? Aren’t you worried about your neighbors?”

“Apparently, I need to be more worried about random English miscreants. And I was about to get into the hot tub.”  Nat cocked her head. “You didn’t answer my question, by the way. What are you doing here?”

Robert chuckled. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? I told you I was coming. You didn’t really think a simple phone call would do, did you? Not after the conversation we had.” Natalie opened her mouth, only to close it, and Robert narrowed his eyes. “Wait. You do remember last night, right? Our conversation? The things you were saying?” His voice cracked on the last syllable.

“It’s, um, kind of hazy.”

“Are you bloody serious? Fucking hell, woman.”

Her eyes widened. “What all did I say?”

Robert barked a laugh, running a hand through his hair. “You likely wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”

“Was it bad?”

He expelled a breath. “No, I’d say it was rather good.” Robert nibbled his lip as she stared at him, bewildered. “Nevermind. Christ. Anyway, it seems that I’m here, I suppose unexpectedly. I can’t stomach another two hours on the train, and I’m bloody well starving so I’ll have to sort it out tomorrow. If that’s alright with you.”

The adrenaline from her initial fear had given way to that of elation. He’d come to see her. He was there in the flesh, just for her. But what was it she’d said to make him drop everything and come running? Flashes of the previous night flickered through her head as if his physical presence was jarring them, conjuring them. There had been the phone call, that she could recollect … she’d chastised him for not knowing about the fire … then she’d teased him about the article, losing her virginity, she’d joked, and then … Oh, my God. It all flooded back at once, a dam breaking in her mind. Jesus Christ. What had she been thinking talking like that? No wonder he got his ass on a plane. She fought the crimson burn that crept across her cheeks. It was true, though, every single word.

“Are you alright? I can, ah, make arrangements at the hotel if you-”

“No, no, you can stay here. Susan and Christian are in Vienna for a week. It would be nice to have company.” Nat adjusted the towel, the cool air from the porch a blessing for her tingling skin. “Maybe we could go into town for the Christmas market later.”

“I did see a big ferris wheel on the way up here.”

“It’s really pretty at night with all the colored lights. And there’s ice skating and games. It’ll be fun.”

“I’d like that.” Robert closed the gap between them, tucking a loose tendril behind her ear. “I am so happy to see you. I’ve missed you.”

Her breathing hitched as he cupped her chin. And just like that, she was lost. It was as if no time had passed. His touch riveted her, cloaking her in his magic spell. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Robert grazed her cheek with his thumb. “You’re not upset that I came, are you?”

“I hoped you would,” Nat replied, a devilish smile blooming on her face. “Why do you think I said all those things?”

His mouth fell open. “You little ... tart.” She squealed as he pounced, throwing her over his shoulder and swatting her backside. “You’re a dirty little girl. And do you know what happens to dirty little girls?”

Natalie giggled as he tossed her onto the bed, dropping over her. “Bad things?”

Robert shook his head, his eyes gliding along the line of her throat. “No. Very bad things.” He nipped her chin. “Extremely bad, as a matter of fact.” He slid his lips across hers, bound for her ear. “But not until I have a bit of snap and a look at the fair. We English take Christmas very seriously.”

*          *          *

A sea of hats and heavy wool coats littered the ice, swirling around them with wild abandon. As Robert gently tugged her through the throng, Nat’s knees buckled, and she reached for his shoulders, her grin matching his as he caught her.

“Christ, Natalie, you’re a resident of Switzerland, and you can’t ice skate?”

Nat wrinkled her nose. “You’ve got candy apple in your teeth.”

“So do you,” the singer shot back, his brow lifting.

“At least I have all mine.”

“Ouch.” Robert snickered. “I suppose one can’t be perfect. But I’m not far off.” Natalie yelped, gripping him tighter as he took a wide stride backwards, parting the pool of revelers behind him. “You need a proper lesson.”

Nat snuggled into the warmth of his chest, so solid and strong. She knew very well how to maneuver on the ice. In fact, she was a crack skater and loved it. But she loved his arms wrapped around her even more. “Just keep holding me, and I’ll skate along with you.”

“Is this a ploy to keep me close to you?” Robert asked, narrowing his eyes.

She batted her lashes. “Whyever would you think that?”

“Because you’re very tricky. My tricky little-”

“I know. Minx.” She pecked his dimpled cheek. “I like being your minx.”

Robert slowed to a stop. “And my muse?”

“Your muse? I’ve never been a muse before.”

“Not even your good friend David’s?”

She studied the tip of her boot. “He’s never mentioned it.”

Robert skimmed his fingers under her chin, reclaiming her gaze. “He’s a fool, then.” He could feel her swallow through the thin leather of his glove as he drew closer, his eyes dropping to her lips. “An absolute f-”

“Attention! Attention!”

The boy’s warning rang out too late, and Natalie clung to Robert as the child careened into them, depositing them into a twisted pile on the ice. He sprang up as fast as he’d gone down, muttering an apology before sliding away to wreak havoc elsewhere. She smiled as Robert stood, offering her his hand. “At least I’m not the worst one out here.”

“Something tells me you’re far from the worst.” He looped his arm through hers, guiding her to the side of the rink. “Let’s try an activity a hair less hazardous.”

While Natalie returned their skates, Robert was dispatched to procure tickets for the ferris wheel. A light snow filled the air as the last thread of dusk faded, and the market came alive. Strolling carolers roamed the network of booths, and bawdy laughter emanated from tents and too many helpings of spiked apple cider. The scents of pine and baked delicacies wafted endlessly around the twinkling tinsel-draped trees scattered about. It was one of her favorite things, a wonderful mix of spectacle and domesticity, convivial, but community, too.

“You ready?”

She nodded. “I’ve got to warn you. I don’t love heights.”

He gave her a squeeze. “I’ll protect you, my lady.”

“That doesn’t inspire much confidence.”

With more than a whisper of trepidation, Natalie boarded the car, which creaked mightily as the wheel began to turn. She instinctively grabbed Robert’s hand, her mouth curving as their fingers entwined. “This thing sure looked better from a distance.”

“It does seem to have seen finer days.”

The clamor from the festivities below them receded as they soared higher and higher, until they reached the apex of the circle. The cabin rocked back and forth as the motion suddenly ceased, and Nat’s smile disappeared. “Why did we stop? What’s going on?” She glanced to Robert, unimpressed with his mischievous smirk. “Wait. Did you tell them to? The other riders are not going to be …” The words were lost as she inspected the cars below them, all empty. “You bought all the tickets.”

“That and a healthy, ah, contribution should allow us a bit of privacy.” Robert guided her hand to his lips, caressing the back of it. “And a big view.”

A big view it was. Lights from the villages surrounding them danced in the distance. A bright full moon had peeked out from the clouds, sending silver shimmers across Lake Geneva and illuminating the snow covered peaks that abounded. “My God, I can see forever. It’s so beautiful.”

“Ah, but you put it to shame, Natalia.” Robert slid off her glove, kissing each of her fingers one by one.

He hadn’t used her nickname since his last visit to Montreux, and Natalie savored the intimacy of the moment. He was a hopeless romantic, and by default, had temporarily made her one, too. It was easy to get lost in him, his subtle smile and gentle gaze impossible to resist. So handsome, but there was far more to it than that. He had an aura, an air, a way that connected with her like no one else. She knew better than to let it happen, but that was just it. She’d no control. None whatsoever.

Robert skimmed his lips across her wrist. “You okay?”

Nat blinked, nodding. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“What are you thinking about?”

She took a breath, hesitating. That I’m in love with you. And I’m scared to death. “Nothing much.”

Robert’s brow wrinkled. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

The car lurched forward, hurdling them back against the seat. And her senses back to her. She cleared her throat, summoning a smile. “I, um, thought I saw my house, that’s all.”

“Where? Point to it.”

“I was wrong. Wrong direction.” She shrugged, slipping her glove back on. “We should probably get back. I don’t want to leave Duchess alone too long.”

“Who’s Duchess?”

“Our new kitten. I would have introduced you to her, but she gets nervous around people she doesn’t know. She’s probably still under one of the beds.”

“I bet I can coax her out. I’ve a way with the ladies, you know,” Robert added with a wink.

Natalie snorted. “Highly doubtful.”

“Shall we make a formal wager?”

Her gaze snapped to his. “What are the stakes?”

Robert pursed his lips. “If I win, I get to kiss you.”

“That’s it? No conditions?”

“Just one.” A wicked grin creased Robert’s face. “I get to do it anywhere I want.”

Natalie’s heart skipped a beat as sultry heat exploded in her tummy, slowly drifting lower. The things he could do to her with only words, the need he could summon with a simple phrase. It was nearly debilitating. She finally found her voice. “And if you lose?”

His dimple deepened. “Oh, darlin’, I’m not going to lose.”

#robert plant fanfic #robert plant fan fiction #led zeppelin fanfic #led zeppelin fan fiction #swiss time

[demoncryptspanties]

Princess

Part 1, part 2 , part 3, part 4 final part Masterlist

summary: Bucky and the reader hate each other for the most part. Both throwing cheap blows in order to get a reaction out of the other but why and when did this happen and can they ever fix t? 

Bucky Barnes x reader (kind of),  Wade Wilson x platonic!reader 

warnings: swearing, the reader is a bitch at the moment but Bucky is as well, kind of I don't know.

Authors note at the end.

“No, the princess wants to say something I say we let her,” Bucky said with a lazy smirk. His eyes were dark, challenging, to most it seemed as if he was revelling at the moment.

She turned to him quickly, moving her whole chair so that she could face him head-on. Cocking her head to the left, she put her glass down. “I’m sure we've had this conversation before but since you did recently turn 100 I’ll give you an allowance. Do not call me that again. Do you understand James?” She didn't wait for his answer and instead started to engage in a seemingly animated conversation with Tony about the mission. 

 Bucky turned to Steve and clenched his jaw. It took a minute, but he opened his mouth again, raising his voice so that the whole room could hear him. “I’m sorry but remind me why not to again, you are director Fury’s daughter, a privileged bitch with no real talent until your daddy sold you off to become a little science experiment.” 

  The air shifted quickly, everyone else in the room opted to not say anything as they learnt that this was the best move in this situation. “That is not what happened,” she replied, anger in her words but her eyes had a hint of sadness.

 “Then what did princess, we all want to know. You come back 3 years later like the fucking avatar with no explanation.”

“This is coming from the guy everyone thought was dead but was actually murdering people as if it were the next level in a video game.” 

 Someone sucked in their breath hard but the two didn't notice. They sat there for a minute, jaws clenched, eyes dark and challenging. There was no movement from anyone until she got up. The suddenness of it made everyone in the room jump. She picked up her drink and walked out of the room, her steps both graceful and heavy. It was as if with a slight increase in weight her heel would pierce the floor with each step. 

 Once she had left the room everyone's eyes shifted towards Bucky to try and gauge his reaction, but he was completely blank. He stood up and left, presumably to go to his room with Steve trailing after him. There were slight mumbles between the remaining members before they all did the same, Wanda walking in the direction of Y/N’s room while Sam and Nat walked towards Bucky’s.

 She had her head in her hands when Wanda walked in, she was gasping having tried to keep herself from breaking down. She refused to give him the satisfaction. Wanda moved to sit on the floor in front of her and pulled Y/N into her arms where she broke down. It was a full 5minutes of crying before she spoke up.

“Wanda, I don’t know what to do.” She whispered, sniffling slightly.

“About what?” Wanda answered moving back to look at her.

“About Bucky.”

“You can’t let him get to you.”

“I don’t hate him Wanda, but he gets me so angry sometimes. There’s no reason to hate him we weren’t like this before.” She said moving from the floor onto her bed.

She was right in that it wasn’t like this before. They weren’t friends, still very cautious with each other but civil. It was the anniversary of the day she had gone missing but only her father knew that. She was snappy with him getting angry quickly. He rationalised it, saying it was just one day until she started to blame everything on him. That whole day if they were in the same room and there was a minor inconvenience or something he didn’t know she had something snarky to say about it. Everyone assumed that he took this to heart because he started to retaliate towards the evening. It ended with a huge argument, both being as nasty as the other, it got out of hand and perhaps due to pride neither of them got over it.

She felt a tug in her head as if someone was calling out to her and focussed back onto Wanda.

“I’m sorry Y/N, you just zoned out for a minute,” Wanda said a small smile on her face.

“It’s fine I’m going out anyways.” She said wiping her eyes and moving towards the dresser.

“where to, do you want me to come?”

“No, but thank you, Wanda. I was supposed to meet Wade around now.”

Wanda said a quick goodbye and left her to her own devices, thinking this was the best thing to do since she was clearly not going to say any more on the matter. Y/N traded in her jumpsuit for a pair of jeans and a jumper that she had stolen from Steve’s washing the day before. She opened the balcony and jumped out of the window, floating downwards while admiring the view of the hills in the distance. Her feet touched the ground gently and she entered the garage grabbing the keys to her motorcycle and driving off.

It wasn’t long before she reached the bar, pulling her hood over her head she entered spotting Vanessa waiting a table. The two exchanged quick hellos’ before she pointed out Wade, sitting in a booth by himself.

“You going to say hi to your second favourite girl or what.” She muttered, sliding herself into the booth.

“Third favourite, I’m pretty sure its Vanessa, Blake Lively and then you.” He said a cheeky smile on his face. She felt relaxed immediately after hearing him speak and leaned back into the booth, taking her hood off. “Well shit, it looks like you got eye-fucked by hot sauce. Literally, eye fucked.”

“Well, thanks, Wade. Don’t you know how to make a girl feel special.” She chuckled lightly.

“But seriously was it that Bucky that you won’t let me meet.” The lazy smile turned into a small frown.

“Yes.” They both shifted uncomfortably her hands moving onto the table in front of her.

“You need to stop taking your anger out on him Y/N. Ajax is dead, that part of your life is over.”

“Well maybe but I have no outlet Wade, they barely let me go out on missions because of my dad even though I’m fully fucking capable. It feels good to let something out and of course, it is him, it’s not as if this is totally one-sided he digs and pulls and punches where he can, I guess I’m his outlet as well. Anyways, what the fuck can I do, I sit at home all day and do jack shit and he’s just there. So, fucking capable and loved. You know they use him for almost every mission. They coddle him like a fragile child and praise him for everything he does and yeah, I mind my business for the most part and then he opens his damn mouth, says something snarky and I want to murder him.” She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands.

“Well that sounds like you’re jealous but that’s no reason to dig at him like you would a grave. Isn’t there a saying, be the bigger person” Wade said being her usual voice of reason.

“No shit. But it’s not as if he doesn’t do it to me. He starts it, I just escalate things really. Be the bigger person my ass. God, I’m a shit person Wade. Fuck!” he put her head on the table groaning softly.

“I think what you need to do is apologise, but your prideful and that’s a probable no. You can start with finding a vice so that you don’t feel the need to pull at him. Also therapy or addressing your issues, having a civilised conversation with him but those are the boring options.”

She put her head up slightly so she could see him through her lashes. “A vice?”

“Yes, a vice. I mean mine is, well let’s not get into mine. I would suggest drinking but you don’t drink and that’s not a good idea, drugs to that’s a no. Gambling but you’re a shit gambler.”

“I’m not a”

“You’re a shit gambler don’t even. Find a hobby or something. Or sex but I mean be careful and that. Your good at art right how about learning to tattoo people or something.” He said before turning to wave down Vanessa and ask for another beer.

Y/N sat up at the mention of art and asked for water. “That’s actually a good idea.”

“What the sex.” He said between sips

“No, what the fuck the art.”

“Oh, that yeah, I’ve got a good idea to cheer you up and this is boring and now I’ve totally solved your problem so let’s go.” He downed his beer and got up pulling her along with him and waving at Vanessa. The pair walked through the streets, Wade leading the way and Y/N following only a step behind. They discussed Vanessa mostly and possible kid one in the making before stopping outside an arcade. He dragged her through the doors, the first things she noticed were the neon machines, loud music and the distinct smell of day old pizza.

“where is it.”

“Where is what Wade?” he handed you a hammer once he found what he was looking for.

“Is that a whack a mole machine. I didn’t even know they made these anymore.”

 Wade put in the money and the two stood there waiting on their respective sides. Both had brilliant instincts, so the score was close with Wade winning in the end by pure chance. After a couple more games they stopped on a tie. They parted ways once they had gone back to the bar and Y/N reached the compound at about 2am.

She made herself a cup of tea in the communal kitchen and walked up to the greenhouse that she had begged Tony to install on the top floor. The lights were already on when she entered signalling that someone was already here, but she walked in any way.

   A/N I’m so sorry but my writing got sloppy at the end and I really have no clue how to fix it urgh. I will probably change POV in the next part because it got really difficult towards the end and I kept trying to avoid saying she did this and that but I’m pretty sure I did anyway. Also, there’s likely to be 2 more parts after this but we’ll see how it goes. 

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #wade wilson imagine #wade wilson #avengers imagine #avengers #deadpool

[a-splash-of-stucky]

A Messed Up Place | Epilogue

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: A wedding and a surprise

Warnings: flooffy goodness :’)

“Professional” Notes: The last ever AMUP update is being posted on Bucky’s birthday — I feel like that’s appropriate, somehow. Also, this was supposed to be a short and sweet epilogue but whOOPS 4k words happened somehow. Self-discipline? Don’t know what that is, never heard of it. #noregrets

“Emotional” Notes: I’m sobbing, I’m screaming, I’m hysterical, I’m not ready for this gAAHHHH!!!!

I’m feeling like a bundle of raw emotions rn. A Messed Up Place has been a labour of love ever since October 12th, 2017, my 19th birthday and the day I posted the AMUP Prologue. Now, nearly 5 months later, it’s coming to its official end. Thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me throughout this journey — your reblogs, comments and reactions have truly meant the world to me. To share this story with you, to see all the love that has come out of it, to have had this story bring me closer to some of my faves…there are no words to describe how I’m feeling. Honestly. Thank you so much, all of you.

Also, I’m sorry I broke your hearts and made you cry — I hope it was worth it all in the end.

AMUP Masterlist

“My point is, I’ve known Tony for a long time,” says Rhodey. He pauses and cocks his head to the side, before barking out a short, dry laugh. “Actually, now that I think about it, it hasn’t been that long year-wise, but man, with the amount of sh—I mean…stuff he’s gotten himself into, it sure does feel a lot longer.”

As Rhodey takes a sip of his champagne, he catches Bucky’s gaze out of the corner of his eye and  gives an almost imperceptible quirk of his eyebrows. Bucky flashes him an easy smile and gives him a subtle thumbs-up, showing his thanks for the quick save.

Steph’s at the age where she just adores repeating basically every word that she hears. The last thing Bucky needs is for the word ‘shit’ to be added to her repertoire of favourites, alongside ‘laun-de-reee’, ‘no’ and ‘cat dick’.

Though, with a room full of adults in various stages of tipsiness, not adding a swear word to Steph’s vocabulary is proving easier said than done. There have been a few too many close-calls tonight. Why did Bucky ever think that letting Steph stay for the reception was a good idea? Her sleep schedule’s going to be fucked up for the next week.

Bucky pauses, registering his train of thought. God, he’s such a dad.

“I remember when Tony was an insufferable know-it-all,” Rhodey continues, his voice drawing Bucky back to the present. “Oh wait — he still is an insufferable know-it-all.”

That pulls a chuckle out of Bucky and causes a titter of laughter to ripple through the room. Tony gives his best man an affronted look.

“Yeah, but I guess back in the day, he was a hundred times worse,” Rhodey amends, once the audience has settled again. “I mean, c’mon! He was schooling all of his professors in MIT! Gave a lecture of his own, at one point — after hijacking the lectern in true Tony fashion, of course.”

“I’ve watched him as he lived the life of a CEO playboy. I’ve seen him learn what responsibility is. I’ve seen him at the lowest of his low points and the peak of his high points. And I thought I’d seen all the parts of him there ever was to see — until he met you, Pepper.”

The customary wave of ‘aww’s’ sweep through the room. Bucky watches as Pepper — in an uncustomary public display of affection — scoots her chair closer to Tony’s and rests her cheek on his shoulder. Pepper’s strawberry blonde hair has started to fall out of her bun, curled tendrils hanging loosely around her face. Her cheeks have a rosy glow to them that match the happy glimmer in her eyes. She looks relaxed and in love and more at peace than she’s ever been — just like her new husband.

“You bring out a whole different side of him, Pep,” Rhodey says, the fondness evident in his tone. “He’ll deny this to his grave, I know, but you make him soft at heart. You’re good for him and hopefully — he’ll be good to you. May the both of you live a long life, have a healthy marriage and please, for the love of god, don’t let any of your kids get their hands on Tony’s suits. To the both of you,” he declares, raising his champagne flute with a grin on his face. Amidst waves of laughter, Bucky catches the toast being echoed by the rest of the wedding guests.

Bucky pushes off from the wall he’s been leaning on and walks back to the centre of the dance floor. He takes the mic off Rhodey as their paths cross, murmuring a quiet ‘well done’ as they brush shoulders. That’s the last speech of what has been an eventful night, filled with tears (of the happy sort), lots of laughter and two separate occasions of Tony nearly setting Pepper’s dress on fire.

But besides those instances of near-catastrophe, the whole affair has been rather low-key and chilled. It’s clear that Pepper’s done most of the wedding planning. The entire event is being held in the back gardens of the compound. An enormous marquee has been set up, with fairy lights, lanterns and all manner of flowers strung from the ceiling. There’s a dance floor on one end and tables taking up the rest of the space. Everything is pastel coloured and tastefully decorated.

It’s nice. Really nice.

“So, that marks the end of all the speeches we have lined up for tonight,” Bucky says, addressing the assembled crowd. He’s the MC of the reception, tasked with the trying job of facilitating seamless transitions between the nights’ entertainment.

Bucky’s really glad that his work is almost done.

“I’d just like to say a quick thank you, on behalf of our newly married couple, to everyone that’s made this event what it was. And to Tony and Pepper — I’m sure you’re sick of hearing this, by this point, but congratulations,” Bucky says sincerely, flashing the two of them a warm smile. Pepper returns the gesture and Tony nods his head in acknowledgement.

Just then, Bucky hears the tap-tap-tap of patent-leather shoes darting across the floor. He beams when he catches sight of his daughter rushing towards him at full speed, arms outstretched, fine blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders and chocolate cake smeared on her chin.

Typical, he sighs internally. Well, at least there’s no chocolate on her white dress.

As Stephanie runs to his side, Bucky crouches down to welcome her with open arms. He hoists her up in one smooth motion, perching her on his waist. She enthusiastically wraps her arms around his neck and flashes him a toothy grin.

“Hello gorgeous,” Bucky murmurs, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. Bucky spots you sitting beside Pepper and arches an eyebrow in your direction, before looking pointedly at Steph; a silent what’s she up to?

You shrug exaggeratedly, hands raised and palms facing outward. How the hell do I know?

“Daddy,” Steph whines, patting Bucky on the cheek to get his attention, “Wanna go dancing again.”

Bucky’s heart might just have melted a little. He ducks his head closer, “Almost done here, gorgeous, then we can go dancing again, okay?” he whispers, lips brushing the shell of Steph’s ear with each word. He smiles when she giggles and pushes his face away with her pudgy hands; his baby’s always had ticklish ears.

Steph leans back and puts her palm on his cheek, schooling her features into a more solemn expression. “Daddy, I haff something ‘portant to tell you,” she says seriously.

“Oh?” Bucky asks, arching an eyebrow in amusement. “Okay, but is there something you want to say to Tony and Pepper first, gorgeous?”

Stephanie seems to think about it for a minute, brows drawing together and lips pursing as if she’s sucked on a lemon. When it clicks, she claps her hands excitedly as an exuberant grin spreads across her face.

“Yeah!” she cries, making grabby hands for the mic, “I gotta say something!”

Bucky chuckles, holding the mic closer to her mouth. “Go ahead, sweetheart,” he says.

Steph twists around so that she’s beaming brightly at the crowd of expectant faces. As the one and only flower girl in attendance, over the course of the night, Steph seems to have won over the hearts of everyone present.

Who can blame them, really?

Bucky catches sight of you, sitting in between Wanda and Pepper, watching your daughter with a bemused smile on your face. You’ve got your chin propped up on one hand, a glass of water poised at your lips. You meet Bucky’s gaze and flash him a cheeky wink, just as you take a sip.

“Ev’body? I’m gonna be a biiiiiig sistah!” Steph announces proudly.

What?

It’s lucky that Bucky’s eyes are trained on you, because your reaction to Steph’s revelation is priceless. You choke on your mouthful of water and burst into a coughing fit. Wanda turns towards you to thump your back, whilst simultaneously shooting Bucky an is this for real? expression. Pepper and Tony have bolted upright, their haze of marital bliss disrupted by the commotion. Natasha and Sam look like they’ve gone into shock, and everyone else’s gaze is focused on Stephanie, who is seemingly unaware of what she’s just done.

A stunned hush descends over the room.

“Uhm,” Bucky mutters weakly. He clears his throat and shifts Stephanie on his hip. “Uhh—gorgeous…I think you had something else you wanted to say to Tony and Pepper, right?” he asks. “Remember? You were practicing it this morning?”

Stephanie cocks her head to the side and narrows her eyes. “Oh! Oh, con…gra…chu…lay…shuns?” she says slowly, carefully enunciating each syllable.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, his voice strained. “Yeah, um…why don’t you go sit back down with Aunty Nat, gorgeous, and let Daddy finish this off?” he suggests. Steph nods agreeably. Bucky sets her down and watches as she toddles off towards the head table, where Natasha is holding a hand out for her. Bucky runs his metal hand through his hair and takes a shaky breath.

“Okay, well…um,” he starts, “I—guess there’s not much more for me to say. Congratulations, Tony and Pepper. May you have a good marriage and all that.”

He’s pretty sure his words fall on deaf ears. As Bucky hands the mic back to the DJ hovering at the back of the dance floor, he spies you hurriedly weaving through the tables and slipping out of the marquee via one of the side flaps. Sam shoots Bucky a pointed look and jerks his head in your direction; a clear go after her, dude. Steph seems to be well-occupied by Natasha for the moment, and so, silently praying that his daughter isn’t going to start spouting out more secrets, Bucky quickly dashes after you.

When he steps outside, Bucky discovers that the twilight hour has come and gone. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, Bucky spins around in a circle, trying to find you. He spots you sitting on the concrete steps leading into the main building, your elbows on your knees, hands clasped in front of you and forehead pressed against your wrists. He sighs, slowly walking towards you, loosening his tie and undoing the top button of his crisp white shirt as he goes. Bucky plops himself down a couple of steps below you, body angled in your direction.

“She’s only three,” you say weakly, not bothering to lift your head up to acknowledge him. “What did I expect? Ugh, our daughter is terrible at keeping secrets.”

Bucky’s heart does an excited little flutter. “So she was serious?” he croaks out.

You drop your hands. Your mascara’s smudged underneath your eyes and most of your lipstick has rubbed off, this late in the day. But, you’ve still got a smile on your face and to Bucky, you look as beautiful as ever.

“I found out a few days ago,” you admit quietly, “Realised that my period was late and took a test.” You laugh softly, “Got the shock of my life when I saw it was positive.”

Bucky inhales sharply.

“I thought it’d be a nice to have Steph tell you the news,” you continue, eyes flicking up briefly to meet his. “I’ve been practicing it with her and—,” you break off with a groan, burying your face in your hands. “Fuck, why did I ever think that was a good idea? Now everyone knows that I’m pregnant and I wanted to tell you first in private before—and, and now—,”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Bucky interjects, pushing himself onto his knees and catching your wrists in his hands. He pulls them to his chest, ignoring your weak protests, leaving you unable to hide your face from him. When you tilt your chin upwards, Bucky sees the glimmer of unshed tears in your eyes. The watery smile on your lips tells him that they’re not tears of sadness, though. In this moment, Bucky feels like there’s a gurgling pressure behind his sternum, a bubbling spring of emotions itching to spew free.

“For real, princess?” he asks quietly, barely able to contain himself.

You laugh breathlessly, the corners of your eyes crinkling with joy. “Yeah, honey. Really.”

Bucky swallows, then leans in close until his forehead is resting against yours, until his nose brushes your cheek and your breath ghosts over his face. You slip a hand out of his grip and curl it around the back of his neck, fingers combing through his ponytail.

“Tell me again, sweetheart,” Bucky says, voice hoarse, thick with tears. With your palm pressed to his chest, he has no doubt that you can feel the mad thumping of his heart. “I need to hear you say it.”

Your hand on the back of his neck tightens its grip. “I’m pregnant,” you whisper.

Bucky lets out a half-sob, body surging forward to crash his lips against yours. Inside his chest, he feels the dam burst, allowing a tsunami wave of emotions to course through his system. The kiss is heated and sweet and meaningful, all that same time. His brain is spinning, his body is floating, his heart is soaring, his soul is singing. He’s overcome with feelings and he just—he can’t put any of them into words.

“Sweetheart,” he says breathlessly, brokenly. It’s the only word his brain can think of right now. Fuck—he has so many things to tell you. I can’t believe it, he wants to say. I’m terrified, maybe. I’m so fucking happy. I love you so much. “I—oh my god—,”

“I know,” you say fervently, meeting his lips for another urgent kiss, “I know.”

And perhaps, he just doesn’t need to say anything. Maybe you’ve heard all those unsaid words anyway. Maybe, after all this time, you just know.

“Again,” Bucky demands, one hand cupping the back of your head, the other arm encircling your waist. He darts in for another kiss — fuck he never wants to stop kissing you, ever — as he leans forward, forcing you to brace your elbows against the step above the one you’re sitting on. “Tell me again,” he begs, gently nipping your bottom lip as he pulls back to look at you.

He takes in your kiss-bitten lips, your darkened eyes and your messy hair. You curl your fingers into the lapels of his jacket, just as your lips curl into a private smile, for his eyes only. “I’m pregnant,” you repeat, your voice quiet, sincere.

Bucky drops down again, brushing his lips against yours. “I love you so much,” he says, in between kisses, “So fucking much, you know that?”.

“Love you too,” you reply, throwing your arms over his shoulders to hold him close.

Where words fail, actions speak.

Bucky pours every ounce of love surging through his body into every press of his lips, desperately hoping that each kiss is enough to telegraph the extent of his emotions. Words are not enough, actions are not enough — he wants you to know how he’s feeling so bad. His world is shaken by this news — for better, for worse, who knows?

The only certainty he’s holding onto right now is you.

Bucky blankets your body with his, moulding his body to yours and wishing he could do the same to your souls. He kisses you and tastes the salt of your tears, the mint on your tongue. He feels the hammering of your heart, hears your barely-audible sighs and greedily drinks in the exultant joy radiating out of every fibre of your being.

“Sweetheart,” Bucky breathes, cradling the back of your neck with his flesh hand and pulling your mouth closer, kissing your lips like you’re the oxygen that Bucky has been starving for. And maybe that is what you are, Bucky thinks desperately, a fleeting thought in his dizzy mind. Maybe you’ve been his oxygen all this while. Because it’d certainly felt like an agonisingly slow death, enduring all those months without you.

The two of you lose time like that, sprawled out on the steps, tangled in each others arms, rucking up your fancy clothes. You trade kisses and soft touches, murmured promises and meaningful stares. There’s a simmering heat in his belly that Bucky could turn into something more if he stoked the fire and gave it some attention, but for now — this is enough.

From somewhere on his left, someone clears their throat obnoxiously.

Bucky startles, quickly rolling off you as he reaches for the knife strapped to his left calf. When he sees who it is, he allows his posture to relax, although a hot rush of embarrassment does race through his veins.

“If we’d walked out a second later, I’m fairly certain we’d’ve stumbled across you two defiling our porch steps,” Tony remarks dryly.

Pepper gently elbows him in the side. “Tony!” she chastises, “Be nice.”

“Sorry, darling,” Tony says quickly. Bucky doesn’t miss the dopey look he shoots in her direction.

Seriously. Were you and Bucky ever this bad?

Bucky glances down at the gold ring welded onto his metal ring finger, casts his mind back to a warm summer’s day on the beach, sun on his face, sand between his toes, his arms around your waist and thinks no — the two of you were worse.

“Anyway,” Tony drawls, “I must say, your daughter sure does have a knack for dramatic timing.”

“He did learn from the best,” Pepper comments sarcastically, giving him the side-eye. Tony squawks in protest.

“Tony—Pepper, I’m so, so sorry,” you say quickly, sitting up and brushing you skirt back into place. “I—I really didn’t mean to steal your thunder, or anything like that, I swear, it was—,”

Pepper holds a hand up to silence you, a benevolent smile on her lips. “No harm done, Y/N,” she says reassuringly, “Really, we mean it. Yes, it was quite the shock, but—that just makes the night more memorable, no? We’re not mad, honestly.”

Tony snorts. “Speak for yourself,” he grumbles. “Sorry, sorry,” he adds hastily, when Pepper narrows her eyes into a murderous glare. Turning his focus back to the two of you, he clears his throat and says, “Congratulations, and all that good stuff, I suppose.”

Pepper rolls her eyes. “Yes, congratulations, you two,” she says emphatically. “And technically, it is past midnight, so you didn’t really steal our thunder.”

You make a sound that is a cross between a laugh and a groan. “I’m never going to forgive her for this,” you mutter darkly, “There goes her Stark tablet privileges for the week!”

“You say that, but you know she’ll just do something to make you forgive her in the next day,” Bucky points out. “Kid’s got us wrapped around her finger.”

With a resigned, full-bodied sigh, you slump against Bucky’s side. “It’s the thought that counts,” you say morosely.

“Well, I think we’ll leave you two to rejoice in peace,” Tony says decisively, pivoting on his heel and striding back to the party. “Just don’t traumatise any of our guests when they come out here!” he calls over his shoulder.

“Tony,” Pepper says, in a voice that is both fond and exasperated. To the two of you, she adds, “Seriously, no offence taken. I’ll make sure that Nat’s keeping an eye on Stephanie.”

“Thank you, Pepper,” Bucky says, as Pepper glides off towards her husband, her periwinkle blue wedding dress swishing with each step.

The two of you sit in silence, watching as Tony and Pepper slip back into the marquee, hand-in-hand. When the coast is clear, you peel yourself away from Bucky’s side and climb into his lap. Bucky chuckles in surprise, but plants his feet flat on the step below, allowing you to straddle his thighs.

You pay no attention to the fact that your skirt has bunched up in your lap, nor to the fact that someone from the reception could stumble out and see you two at any second. Bucky rests his hands on your waist and tips his head back to look at you, awestruck by the reality of the situation and the enormity of this new adventure.

“How the hell are we gonna manage with two little ones?” he asks quietly, thumbs rubbing gentle circles into your hipbones. “We can barely get by with just Steph!”

You throw your head back and laugh, drawing Bucky’s attention to the elegant column of your neck. Compelled, he leans forward and presses a kiss to the hollow of your throat, letting his lips linger for a while. You hum softly, looping your arms over his shoulders and scooting forward a little, so that your chest is pressed against his.

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” you murmur, “Things always seem to have a way of working out.”

When your lips finally meet, the kiss is tender — languid and lazy, like a sluggish breeze on a sweltering hot day. Bucky’s arms tighten around you, the fingers of his flesh hand tangling in your hair, his metal hand tracing patterns across the skin of your bare back. He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip and swallows your breathy sigh. You mouth opens so easily for him and before long, he finds you rolling your hips against his in slow, sinuous motions.

Bucky’s mouths a trail of wet kisses across your jaw and down your neck, coming to a stop above your pulse point. He feels your thrumming heartbeat against his lips, seemingly beating in time with his own heart.

“D’you think it’s okay if we ask Nat and Sam to take Steph for the night?” he asks, only half-joking, “Y’know. For celebration purposes.”

He feels the rumble of your laughter vibrate through his chest. “Bucky,” you giggle.

“What?”

“No,” you say. Bucky’s fairly certain he heard your eyes rolling, that time.

“Aw—c’mon, honey—,”

“No,” you repeat firmly. Before he can protest further, you cup Bucky’s jaw in your hands, tilting his head back until he meets your eyes.

Your hair is disheveled, falling around your face in messy strands. There’s a gleaming brightness in your eyes that makes the marquee lights behind you seem pale in comparison. You brush your thumb across Bucky’s stubbled jaw, an absentminded smile playing on your lips. “Not tonight, at least,” you tell him.

Bucky swallows, reaches his flesh hand up to catch your wrist. He turns his face to the side and presses his lips to the heel of your palm, registers your sharp intake of breath. “I’m gonna hold you to that promise,” he murmurs.

You huff out a laugh and lean forward, nosing a path down his cheek. Bucky turns his head and finds your mouth again, pressing his lips against yours in slow, unhurried movements.

“Tell me again,” Bucky whispers, as his flesh hand comes to rest on top of your belly.

You rest your hands on top of his, before swallowing audibly. You hold his gaze, your eyes bright with sudden tears, a pure and hopeful smile on your lips.

“I’m pregnant, sweetheart. We’re gonna have another baby.”

Bucky thinks he’ll never be as happy as he is right now, sitting on some concrete steps with you in his arms, stealing kisses from your lips whilst the sounds of laughter and upbeat music float across the gardens.

Bucky’s glad he stands corrected a few months later, on Steph’s fourth birthday, when he sees the look of delight on his baby’s face as she sets eyes on her unicorn-themed birthday cake. They’re surrounded by their super-family, a collection of opened presents and shredded wrapping paper littering the floor of the common room. Stephanie manages to get pink frosting all over her face, making Bucky laugh until his cheeks are sore. You try to keep the smile from spreading across your face, but it’s a futile effort when you have a daughter as sweet as Steph.

You have a hand resting protectively on top of your burgeoning belly, and the sight only serves to make Bucky’s heart swell a little more.

Bucky’s glad he stands corrected a few months after that, as he cradles his son in his arms, gently rocking him back and forth as he makes his way over to your side of the bed. You take him from Bucky, cooing softly as you stroke your knuckle over his chubby cheeks. Steph, perched on your other side, peers at the baby curiously, as if trying to decide what to make of her little brother. Warily, tentatively, she brushes her index finger over his pudgy fist, gasping in surprise when he wraps his little fingers around it and holds on tight.

“I think I could love him,” she whispers.

Bucky’s glad he stands corrected a few years down the line, as the two of you bring in the last of the boxes and set them on the kitchen counter. The house is a mess, the kids are wreaking their usual havoc and the last thing he wants to do is walk up a flight of stairs to check on them. Both of you are gross and sweaty, but Bucky loops his arms around you and pulls you close nonetheless, planting an enthusiastic kiss on your lips. Moving in has been stressful and exciting, to say the least, but Bucky is eager to start writing this new chapter in your lives. He can’t wait to fill these walls with memories and make this house a place to call home.

Unable to fight the grin spreading across his face, Bucky picks you up and swings you around in a circle. “Welcome home, sweetheart,” he breathes.

Bucky loses track of how many times he stands corrected, as the years go by. Day after day, he smiles until his cheeks hurt and laughs until his sides ache. The years are filled with birthdays and babies, missions and milestones, ups and downs. He watches his children go to school, grow up, get married, have lives — take on the world like they were made of gold dust and vibranium.

“What a life, huh sweetheart?” Bucky asks softly, as another chapter comes to its end.

Time has a funny way of slipping by in the blink of an eye, he’s noticed. Many things have changed over the years, but the one faithful, unshakeable constant he’s held onto is his love for you.

Bucky thinks of this as the two of you lie tangled up on the sofa, your body slotted between Bucky’s legs, your cheek pressed to his chest and his chin resting on top of your head.

“Yeah, honey. What a life,” you murmur, as you slip your fingers underneath the hem of his t-shirt, splaying them across the small of his back. “A crazy, wild, tumultuous, messy life.”

You pause to pull away from him, sitting up a little and craning your head back to look into his eyes. “But worth it all?” you ask.

Bucky grins, feels that joyous fluttering in his heart as he leans forward and presses a kiss to your lips. “Yeah, my gorgeous. It’s all been worth it.”

End A/N: Am I bawling my eyes out? You betcha :’)))

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