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jalapeno-princess · 4 years

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Angel of Mine

College Boyfriend Mark X Reader

Genre: FLUFFIEST OF FLUFF, Doting boyfriend Mark that we all deserve

Word Count: 4.5K

Summary: You and your boyfriend Mark are cuddled up in your bed watching a movie when you are reminded that you have an essay due in a couple of hours that you haven’t even started on. Before you can completely break down, your boyfriend comes to your rescue and offers to write your paper for you. It’s in the moments of watching him so focused, typing away at your laptop do you realize how lucky you are to have Mark as a boyfriend.

A/N: Hey guys! So it’s the beginning of midterms here in Hawaii and i’ve already cried seven times I am not kidding you I have two semesters left of college and this is the hardest it’s ever been. I wrote this imagine for shits and giggles; i’ve never had a boyfriend before (HAHAHAHA CRIES IN FILIPINO AND KOREAN) so I wouldn’t know if there are guys out there who are actually like this (If you are, God bless you) (and if your boyfriend is like this, MARRY HIM) I actually watched a tiktok post on instagram right after I finished this where this girl said she was doing her boyfriend’s homework because he was stressed or whatever and if that isn’t couple goals than I don’t know what is (btw I do not condone having someone else do your homework) (especially if you force them to do it because you don’t want to it’s your responsibility and your education, but if they offer...it’s a different story) (LOL) anyways, enough of me blabbering, please enjoy reading while I cry in a corner.

“Remind me how I got myself in this situation again?” Your boyfriend gave you a knowing look and you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a faint giggle at the sight of his furrowed brows.

“Because you love me.” He playfully rolled his eyes and continued typing away at your computer.

“Yeah, sometimes a little too much. But if I remember correctly, you promised to suck me off once I’m finished writing this damn thing, so don’t think I’m going to forget our agreement babe.”

To say you were a procrastinator would be the understatement of the year. Just a few hours ago, you and Mark were comfortably cuddled up together in bed while you both watched the live action version of Mulan. When your boyfriend excused himself to go use the bathroom, you decided to scroll through your Instagram while waiting.

After looking at a couple of posts from some of your friends and family, you were curious as to what everyone was doing and you found yourself going through some of their stories. Finals were less than two weeks away, so you were used to seeing your friends post pictures of them working their many assignments or studying for exams.

What you weren’t expecting to see was one of your classmate’s working on an essay for your English class that was apparently due in less than four hours. Only then did it hit you; you had yet to write the paper and it was worth 20% of your grade. For weeks, you told yourself you were going to start on it and when it was first assigned over two months ago, you thought you had all the time in the world.

Two months went by quicker than you could even fathom and you were frustrated with yourself for not writing it down on your calendar or completing it earlier. You practically ran over to your laptop and began looking up the rubric to see how your professor wanted you to write your essay and you could feel your heart sink to your stomach as soon as you read the requirements.

Mark was confused when he saw you no longer lying in the bed; the two of you decided to have a lazy day indoors and you’ve only left the bed twice to use the bathroom and to get something to snack on. This past week has been extremely rough on your mind and your body; so when you told Mark you had no intention on doing anything other than laying in bed and watching movies, he knew to trust your words.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

Your flustered expression only made him even more curious as to what could have happened in the few minutes he was in the bathroom for. You bit your bottom lip in frustration; knowing how Mark could be whenever it came to your education, you were afraid he was going to be upset once he found out you had only a few hours to write your essay. Since you were too much in shock to respond to him, he took matters in to his own hands and looked at your computer screen.

“Wait—I remember you mentioning this essay a couple of weeks ago—eight pages?! Six educational sources—and it’s due by 11:59 P.M. tonight—y/n what the hell?!”

This wasn’t the first time you waited till right before your assignment was due to start working on it. Matter a fact, most of your important assignments; research papers, group projects, essays and online tests were completed on the day they were due. Sometimes it was on purpose; you felt as if some of your best work were the ones you’d work on right before you were supposed to turn it in. You knew it had a lot to do with the fact that you felt pressured to do better knowing you had a time limit; but most of the time you were just lazy and didn’t want to do any work at all.

You and Mark knew about each and every single thing there is to know about one another. He knew of each and every beauty mark on your body and where it was located, he memorized all your aunt’s, uncle’s and cousin’s names, he knew the exact shade of blue that you claimed was your favorite color and he knew how you liked your tea in the morning.

The only thing he had no control over, was the way you handled your education. Mark thought the entire world of you; he believed you were the most hardworking, courageous, determined, generous and golden-hearted person he had the amazing pleasure of knowing. And he wasn’t being biased because you were his girlfriend, but you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen before. In his eyes, you were flawless; you could do no wrong—well; the only problem Mark really had whenever it came to you was the fact that you didn’t know how to prioritize your responsibilities.

After what happened to you right around the time you were introduced to one another, Mark would’ve thought that your mindset and outlook on how you managed everything going on in your life would change. He knew you were capable of great things; when you put your mind to it, you could finish any task that you were given and you were great with multitasking. Mark saw how much time, persistence and effort you would put in to your job or whenever you’d lend a hand to anyone who needed assistance; he admired your work ethic and how passionate you could get when it came to the people and things that you loved.

It was just harder for you to put time in to your essays, journals, blogs or reading the books your professors would assign. School was never something you ever really cared for; it wasn’t like you were really learning anything anyway. For years, you tried your best in being good at all subjects. You’d stay up studying for hours on end only to not retain any information that you learned and it wasn’t entirely your fault. The educational system was just fucked. In this generation, it isn’t even about learning anything; the main focus is turning in assignments on time.

The professors could give less of a shit whether or not you understand any of the material being taught. During your relationship, Mark tried his best to motivate you and even bribed you with food and kisses. He even offered to make flashcards for you if that meant you’d have an easier time studying, but nothing ever worked.

As much as he wanted you to be successful with your education, especially because he genuinely loved attending school, he knew not to force anything on you and making matters worse. This time was different though; this class was one you were already having a hard time with and this essay in particular would determine whether or not you pass or fail by the end of the semester. Your boyfriend tried his best to hide his disappointment, but it was only natural for him to be upset. Attending college was not cheap at all.

He was completely aware of the thousands of dollars you had to fund on your own because your parents weren’t able to help you financially as much as they wish they could. Since he was extremely supportive of you and each and every single one of your endeavors, he even helped pay for quite a bit of your tuition which you haven’t completely forgave him for, but you both showed him and told him on a daily basis how grateful you were that he did such a thing; and that he never fails to take care of you in ways you didn’t think you deserved.

A part of him wanted to continue his poor attempt at scolding you, but as soon as he saw tears building up at the brim of your eyelids, all his anger and frustration dissipated. If there was anything Mark hated, it was seeing you cry. The reason behind your tears didn’t matter; it just broke his heart knowing you were sad and right now, he pushed the idea of your procrastination to the back of his mind. He motioned for you to stand up and kissed both your cheeks to get rid of any trace of tears. Then, he pulled you in to his embrace and placed his chin on the top of your head before he comfortingly ran his hands up and down your back.

“I’m so sorry Mark—I’m sure you’re upset with me and you have every right to be—I’m so stupid—“ if this were under different circumstances, the cheeky pinch on your butt would’ve earned your boyfriend a punch to the shoulder, but you knew this was his way to stop you from degrading yourself. Before you could ever say anything negative about yourself, Mark would try and divert your attention away from bad mouthing yourself.

Although you and Mark were together for three years now and you knew he was the man you planned on spending the rest of your life with, there was an annoying voice in your head that would remind you almost every single day that you didn’t deserve him. He’s sacrificed so much for you and you knew it was because he loved you; but you never understood why. You weren’t anything special; sure, you loved him with every fiber of your being and you knew he was well aware of that. Yet, you knew he deserved so much more but there was no way you’d ever be able to let him go. Not when he was the one who saved your life all those years ago. The only person who meant anything to you.

As much as you loved your family and your friends, nobody could ever compare or mean as much to you. Nobody could ever be as important as Mark was. He was the only person you were sure you would die from heartbreak if you were to lose him. It was selfish of you to continue dragging him down with you and your toxic ways, but you needed Mark; you’d be nothing without him. He was your own personal guardian angel sent to change your life entirely for the better. He was the only good thing going for you and with the way he treated you as if you were the most fragile and rarest jewel in the world, you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

“You’re not stupid baby—a little irresponsible and careless, but not at all stupid. Hmph, I’ll tell you what, seeing as how I’m better when it comes to writing essays, let me handle it this time.”

“No, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you do this assignment for me Mark, I’d rather take the F—“ the soft kiss he placed on the corner of your lips made it aware that Mark meant business. Whenever he’d say something, he meant it. However, you refused to allow him to work on something you kept pushing back for months. Your essay was your full responsibility and it wouldn’t be fair for your boyfriend to have to write something he didn’t benefit from in such a small amount of time. God, he really did love you.

“The more time you spend trying to talk me out of helping you when I already made my mind up, the less time I’ll have to work on this paper. I don’t want you stressing over this; you’re already so worn-out as it is. This’ll be a piece of cake babe—you just sit on the bed and look pretty while I get started.”

Mark had to be a figment of your imagination. There was no way someone as thoughtful, kind-hearted, selfless and caring as him could exist. Most people would groan at the idea of having to do more work and if it were anyone else, you were sure you would’ve gotten a completely different reaction. You were quick to pull him in to a tight hug and left multiple chaste kisses all across of his face.

“I love you—more than I can ever fathom in to words Mark Tuan. You don’t understand how much this means to me—I’ll do anything you ask of me. Ugh, I will never get over how amazing you are and I could never thank you enough for all that you do for me.” He cupped your cheek and placed a wet kiss on your jaw.

“Anything huh? Maybe you could do some loads of my laundry, but that’s pretty much it—oh. I um—maybe you could—ah never mind.” You looked at him in curiosity and giggled when you saw the apples of his cheeks grow pink with embarrassment. Whatever he was probably referring to had to be something he was shy about. Your boyfriend was the definition of an introvert and he had a hard time asking people questions or even favors; this sometimes also included you. If you wanted to know what was on his mind, you’d have to pry it out of him.

“What is it babe?” He gave you the most adorable shrug and nibbled on his bottom lip as he began to look everywhere around the room but at you.

“Don’t feel as if you have to do this for me, I really don’t expect anything from you, but I wouldn’t mind a blow job if you’re up for it later.” One thing you loved the most about Mark, was how gentle and awkward he would get whenever it came to initiating sex or insinuating that he wanted a sexual favor from you. It was cute, yet it also turned you on for some reason. Maybe it was because he’d act totally innocent and submissive since he never wanted you to feel uncomfortable and he preferred to take things at your pace; but once the two of you actually made love, his attitude would take a 360 degree turn.

Sex with Mark was your favorite past time; he could get very naughty and rough in bed, but he could also take things slow and sensually. It really depended on the mood, but your boyfriend was an extremely generous and passionate lover. He knew what you liked, what positions you enjoyed the most, how to lick, bite and suck on all your sensitive body parts in order to elicit any kind of needy reaction out of you. It really boggled your mind that someone like Mark—someone so perfect without a flaw at all actually existed and what was harder to believe was that you were the lucky girl who was extremely blessed to call him yours.

That was something you would never take for granted; nor did you think you would ever get used to having him in your life. You seductively made your way on to his lap and began leaving sloppy kisses against his nape. This beautiful man sitting in front of you was willing to do your homework in order to prevent you from having a mental breakdown. He was willing to sacrifice his time to work on an assignment that wasn’t his responsibility to take care of just so that you didn’t have to suffer. Honestly, what world war did you fight and win in your past life to be the one that receives Mark’s love every single day? Whatever it is that you did to be able to call Mark your boyfriend, you would do it again and again if it meant having him in each and every single lifetime.

“Fuck—babe—as good as that feels, I only have three hours—y/n—you know, I’m actually thinking about taking you on your offer—just settle for the F and I’ll get settled in between your pretty thighs—“ you couldn’t help but stifle back a giggle once you heard the soft whine fall from his lips after you got up from off his lap, but he was right. He was already doing your homework for you, the least you could do was sit on the side and prevent yourself from bothering him.

“Oh yeah—you’re definitely taking me down your throat as soon as I turn in this paper. Now do as I said and sit down on the bed. Your presence alone is such a distraction and fuck—I’ve been hard since this morning when you walked out in my shirt. Damnit y/n—I really want to have my way with you right now. Please use this experience for future reference. I can’t believe I’m being cockblocked by a research paper of all things.”

You watched as Mark quickly skimmed through the rubric; you knew your boyfriend wanted to make sure he understood the material before typing out a bunch of nonsense. The last thing he needed was to spend all this time and effort looking for resources, citing them and looking for both spelling and grammatical errors only to earn you a bad grade. If Mark wasn’t there and you just so happened to find out about the essay, you wouldn’t have even attempted to write anything.

Your mindset in college was that if it seemed impossible, you would just give up on it entirely. Mark’s mindset however, was more realistic and you wished you had the motivation and enthusiasm that seemed to live in his bloodstream. Watching him so focused as he typed away like nothing was such an inspiring sight. English was one of your boyfriend’s favorite subjects; he loved reading all kinds of books—from murder mystery to comics and romance novels, Mark always preferred reading over watching a movie or television shows.

But, if there was anything he enjoyed more than reading, it was writing. Normally, the day his professor would assign him an essay, proposal, research paper or journal entry was the same day he would complete it and turn it it. There had to be something wrong with him. What person in their right mind genuinely enjoyed writing thousands of words, making sure there weren’t any errors and that the paper in its entirety actually made sense? You knew not to bother him, but you couldn’t help staring at him in all his handsome glory. His brows were furrowed and he began biting his lip in concentration; you didn’t think it was possible for someone to look like a model straight from an ad or a magazine while typing out an English paper.

“Can I get you something to eat or drink babe?” He quickly shook his head in disagreement without even looking up—he was too focused in whatever it was he could be typing.

“I think I need a couple of kisses though, you know—to help me reenergize.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his cheeky request before getting up and placing a few soft kisses against his mouth.

“So how’s it coming out?” He scrunched his nose before giving you a slight shrug.

“If I’m being honest, this probably isn’t my best work, but I’m sure it’s fine. I’m almost done by the way—so I’ll have you look it over to make sure it’s to your liking and then you can turn it in. Maybe you should start preparing your gratuity and tie your hair up. Might as well take your pants off while you’re at it—ow! I’d be careful if I were you baby. I might just replace your name with mine and confuse the shit out of your professor—yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, be a good girl and return back to bed.”

As much as you wanted to continue messing around with him; only because you were enjoying how demanding he would get when he was under stress, you knew better than to distract him. You decided to find something else to occupy yourself with as Mark returned to typing profusely at your laptop. It was extremely fascinating how he didn’t even take a second to think about what to write. The words seemed to just flow out of his brain like it was the easiest thing in the world and you were growing envious of his ability to come out with such quality and detailed work in such a small amount of time.

Around twenty minutes later, Mark let out a sigh of relief and brought his hands behind his back—a sign that he was finally finished. He motioned for you to walk over to your desk and had you sit on his lap. Out of habit, he snaked his arms around your waist and placed his chin on your shoulder; wanting to be as close to you as possible.

“Ten pages, twelve sources and it’s only 9:15. Tell me what you think baby.”

Right as you finished reading just the first paragraph alone, you were at a loss for words. Even if you were to start writing this paper when you first received the assignment from your professor, you were sure nothing you could write would be at least half as amazing as this paper was. It wasn’t repetitive—nor did he use nonsense words or anything you were sure you probably would have added in. He put all his sources in alphabetical order and inserted page numbers at the bottom of each page.

You could see why Mark’s previous English professor had asked him on multiple occasions to be her TA. The word brilliant wasn’t even enough to describe the kind of student Mark was. For someone who never really cared about reading English papers; whether it was an assignment for class, or when you had to give constructive criticism on one of your fellow classmate’s work, you would always skim through their essays—but you found yourself reading each and every single word Mark had typed out. His essay had you hooked; it was one of those writings that you were sure anyone would actually enjoy having to read. How was he able to finish all of that so quickly? By the end of it, you were in tears and you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt Mark giggle in to your neck.

“Why are you crying Bub? I don’t think what I’ve written is at all that depressing. I literally wrote about biodegradation and how to save the earth—“

You didn’t give him any chance to continue his explanation as you roughly smashed your lips against his. Mark did so many things for you on a daily basis. He didn’t have to say he loved you for you to know that he did—his actions spoke for him. Knowing how most guys could be, you were sure no boyfriend would waste his time completing an assignment, especially one so time consuming needed all your knowledge and effort—for his girlfriend.

College was rough on everyone; so to take on something you thought was extremely difficult in order to prevent you from stressing out more than you already were—it made tears fall from the brim of your eyelids. You continued your ministrations, licking his lips and bringing both the bottom and the top in between your teeth before sucking on his tongue. Feeling him hum in to your mouth sent warmth to your core. In your relationship, you were the more extroverted and talkative one. You could go on and on about any subject you were passionate about.

However, just like Mark; you were more about actions than words—mainly because you felt like there weren’t enough words in the English dictionary to actually form sentences that would describe just how much you loved Mark wholeheartedly and exactly what he meant to you. When you felt his excitement press up against your ass, you knew what was right about to happen; but you wanted him to know verbally how grateful you were for him before showing him physically.

“Fuck—how did you—what kind of drug are you on Mark? That was one of the best essays I’ve ever read. There’s no way my professor is going to believe I wrote that. This is honors worthy—you’re—I can’t even find a word good enough to describe you. Otherworldly? Wonderful? Perfect? I love you so much Mark. Fuck, do I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don’t know what I did to have you in my life, but I would do it again and again to have you forever. I know you hate when I say this, but it’s the truth baby—I really don’t deserve you. Thank you, not just for typing this essay—fuck I still can’t even process this entire situation you need to sign up for scholarships or some shit you are so fucking intelligent and such a hardworking student. But—thank you for loving me. You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am forever grateful for whoever it was that decided to bless me with you as my soulmate. I love you Mark Tuan.” His wide grin and the way he looked at you so adoringly made your heart melt.

“I’d do anything for you—you know that baby. It’s just—seeing you so distressed—so frustrated and unhappy with school, watching you overwork yourself to the bone—it fucking sucks. Especially when I see you beating yourself up over grades you have no control over. I know you try your best in every single thing that you do and I know that it’s easy to forget some important things and fall behind, but I will always be there to catch you—and to assure you that everything is going to be okay. You’re my person y/n—it’s my life duty to take care of you. However—don’t get used to this baby, as much as I love you—trust me—I love you with every breath I take and with every beat of my heart—but shit, that was rough. Oh—and I never want to hear you say you don’t deserve me ever again. You take care of me just as much as I take care of you. It’s a team effort babe. Now, with that being said, you caused a big problem in my pants over half an hour ago and I think it’s time that you solved it.”

#got7 imagines #mark tuan #got7 #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark

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jasontoddiefor · 4 years

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Title: walk the golden skies, rise above- Summary: In a world where Force-sensitive people have wings, Anakin Skywalker still burns. (But before that, he rises above them all.) AN: I finished my wingfic! Shout out to @shatouto, @khapikat22 and @kyber-erso for motivating me to finish this in a day instead of procrastinating :D I hope you like his! Also on AO3 for those who prefer to read there!

The first thing Qui-Gon Jinn noticed about the boy were his massive wings. He was young still, probably couldn’t even fly yet, but despite the complicated leather restraints on his back, there was no hiding the size of the black wings. Qui-Gon’s wings were on the larger side, as were those of his Padawan, but he was fairly sure that if the boy reached maturity, he’d surpass them both without trying.

Qui-Gon furthermore doubted that would be the case if the boy were to remain on Tatooine as a slave. He was small and underweight, his wings dragged through the ground behind him when he walked and many feathers were broken or missing. Regardless, Qui-Gon knew that Anakin Skywalker was meant to be a Jedi, the same way his mother should have been going by her wingspan. Her light brown feathers had been clipped, she likely wouldn’t ever be able to fly again. Those without the Force, whose wings were so small they could only ever dream of flying, could never understand what precious thing was stolen from those who could.

“You should be very proud of your son,” he told Shmi Skywalker. “He gives without any thought of reward.”

“Well, he knows nothing of greed,” Shmi replied. Her voice had a sharp edge, almost bitter.

Anakin had been born and raised a slave, he didn’t know anything about freedom or being greedy when he’d never been allowed to act on such thoughts. It was sad that such gentle behavior hadn’t been taught but forced upon him by circumstances.

“He has a good heart,” she continued, fiddling with the small white feather hanging from her necklace. In the sunlight, it almost flickered gold.

“He is strong in the Force.”

It was a miracle Anakin was still with his mother. While Jedi used wingspan as a rough determiner of Force-strengths, other cultures had different opinions on why every intelligent species grew wings. Everybody agreed though that those who stuck out of the masses were special.

“I’ve noticed, his wings are much darker than yours. Who was his father?”

Force strength was an inheritable trait. Certainly, if Shmi and his other parent were so strong, maybe that would explain Anakin’s exceptionality.

“There was no father,” Shmi said. “I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him, but I can’t explain what happened.”

The midichlorian count the test provided after only confirmed what Qui-Gon already knew. Anakin wasn’t just strong of the Force, he existed because of it. He was the Chosen One, destined to bring balance to the Force. That night, while he was sleeping in the Skywalker’s house, he dreamed of a man with black wings and woke up haunted by the feeling that a new era was upon them.

(Qui-Gon never lived long enough to know that Anakin’s wings were anything but black.)

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the one who cut through the leather cords restricting Anakin’s wings. He was also the first to see how truly massive the black feathers were. He was a little surprised to notice that in-between all the black another color, a lighter one, stood out when Qui-Gon had only described wings as dark as space. Trust his Master to make a mistake concerning precise details.

However, Obi-Wan was not the first to notice that Anakin Skywalker’s wings were not, in fact, even mainly black. He wasn’t even the second or third or fourth person. No, he was the tenth person to be informed of that and likely wouldn’t have even been number ten if his Padawan hadn’t had a panic attack in the Halls of Healing because too many Jedi were crowding around him. Another apprentice had come to pick Obi-Wan up, urging him to leave his final exam behind and come see to his Padawan immediately.

When Obi-Wan arrived in the Halls, he found Anakin sitting in the corner of a room, his wings curled around him so that you actually couldn’t see the little Padawan.

“What is going on here?” Obi-Wan asked and marched promptly through the Masters assembled in the room. Any other time he probably would have thrown a fuss at the utter disrespect he was showing Council members, but if Ki-Adi-Mundi decided that towering over his obviously overwhelmed Padawan, then Obi-Wan was going to tell him off.

He planted himself between Anakin and the other members, his arms crossed and his back turned to Anakin. Something touched his leg and he glanced down long enough to see black primary feathers brushing against him.

“Your Padawan was found ripping out his own feathers,” Vokara Che said seriously.

Obi-Wan slowly let out his breath and forced himself to not start cursing. He knew Anakin tended to do that. On Tatooine, it had been better to take out broken feathers than to attempt healing them and risk infection. He’d been shocked the first time he had caught Anakin doing it, but he thought Anakin had understood that it was unnecessary after their talk.

Obi-Wan decided to turn around to his Padawan and crouched down in front of him. He spread his own fiery red wings to give Anakin a sense of protection.

“Padawan,” he began to say. “Everything’s alright. You know you don’t have to take out your damaged feathers, we can heal them. And if we can’t, you certainly don’t have to deal with it on your own.”

“His feathers weren’t damaged,” Vokara said. “But their color-“

“Please don’t send me away!” Anakin suddenly blurted out. He opened up his wings, almost sending Obi-Wan toppling over, and threw himself at him. “Please, I promise I’ll behave. I just couldn’t get any japor oil and keep it hidden. I promise I’ll do better, please keep me-“

“Slow down Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. “And you’re my Padawan. You’re not going anywhere without me. Everything is alright.”

He tried to blend out all the Masters in the room with them. He gathered the Force around himself, grounded the two of them and calmed. He had to keep a cool head for Anakin. Obi-Wan could have his own private freak out when he was back in his own room away from too many Jedi who thought he shouldn't be teaching Anakin.

“But- but I couldn’t keep it hidden!” Anakin stuttered.

“Keep what hidden?” Obi-Wan asked carefully.

Anakin bit his lip, then he pushed his hands, curled to fists, into Obi-Wan’s and opened them, revealing soft and small feathers that likely would have grown into covert feathers, had Anakin not ripped them out. What shocked Obi-Wan the most about them though was not the dried blood clinging to them, but the brilliant golden shine.

“Are those yours?” Obi-Wan asked.

Anakin nodded. “Mom always made me drink japor oil so they wouldn’t grow in that color. If Masters knew I had big wings and golden ones, they’d have taken me away.”

Obi-Wan could see it in startling clarity. A small boy, much younger than Anakin was now, being ripped out of his mother’s arms so they could take his wings.

He felt like throwing up.

“They’re beautiful,” Obi-Wan told his Padawan earnestly. “You don’t have to hide them here, I promise.”

“Really?” Anakin’s eyes darted to the Jedi standing behind them.

“Yes.”

Anakin looked down at his hands, before he lifted his head once more, hesitant determination taking over. “You can keep those. They were the first to grow back.”

(On Tatooine, the only people you gave your feathers to were family members. Obi-Wan wouldn’t know this until Beru stood on his doorstep, Luke sleeping soundly in her arms, and quietly asked him to accept the fledgling feathers she handed him and to give Luke one of his in turn.)

It took almost two years until even the last of the black feathers was gone. Likely, it would have taken even longer if Anakin didn’t have a knack for getting injured and breaking off feathers that just happened to be the black ones. Anakin’s wings at thirteen were certainly a sight to behold. They seemed to reflect the light, their gold shining almost white in the illuminated meditation halls while they took on a fiery red color when Anakin was sun basking in the highest towers, the evening light hitting him just right. Even though Anakin was already a Padawan and had been for years, he still couldn’t fly. He never seemed to have enough space to unfold his wings completely before he crashed to the ground again.

“This is a terrible idea,” Aayla muttered.

She liked Anakin, he was fun and not so much of a stuck up as other Padawans his age. Besides, their Masters were befriended, though Aayla wasn’t so sure if her Master hadn’t just dragged Obi-Wan into his life and declared them friends. It certainly sounded like something he would do.

“But you can catch me, can’t you?” Anakin asked as he peeked over the railing of the highest tower.

The thing was, Aayla got it. She couldn’t recall much from her time before she’d been taken in by the Jedi. She’d been four already, on the older side of the scale when it came to younglings, but those four years hadn’t been enough for Aayla to keep all her memories. Still, she remembered the fear and pain from all those whose wings had been big enough that they might be able to fly whose wings had as a consequence, been clipped, forever denying them flight. Amongst slaves, being able to fly was the greatest ability.

Of course the inability to do so hurt Anakin.

“I’m sure it’ll work,” Anakin said, took a running leap and jumped off the tower.

Aayla followed him quickly, her own light blue wings flattering steadily as she watched Anakin trying to catch himself in the wind. For one very terrifying moment Aayla thought he wouldn’t make it, and then Anakin began to rise. The strokes of his wings were immediately powerful and likely just as exhausting, but he was flying.

Watching him soar in the sky told Aayla all she needed to know. Anakin had been born for this. She loathed to imagine what would have become of his wings if he hadn’t been brought to the temple, even if she had to suffer through a stern talking to after Anakin's first flight for letting a junior Padawan attempt such recklessness.

(It wasn’t the reason Aayla kept quiet about the clones whose wings started to grow larger than those of their brothers, but it was one of them. She helped them hide, she let them use bacta to heal the cuts they had to make.)

Out of all of Padmé’s handmaidens, Eirtaé was the one with the largest wings. They weren’t tall next to those of the Jedi, but they were the biggest Padmé had ever seen. Her own were small by comparison, could fit easily beneath the tunics they wore to hide them away entirely. Sabé’s wings on the other hand were the most similar to Padmé’s. They were bright red as well, though a shade darker. It was the reason she was Padmé’s main decoy. If kidnappers thought to check beyond facial recognitions, they’d find what they expected.

It certainly helped them when the Trade Federation staged their assault.

Padmé still remembered how fascinated she had been by the Jedi. Even when she had been sick with worry for her family and her planet, she had been curious about the Jedi.

Everybody whose wings were large enough to fly could be a Jedi, or so they said, but that knowledge hadn’t truly settled in until she’d seen Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi for the first time.

Now, looking at Anakin, all grown up and somehow still the kind boy she recalled, Padmé wasn’t sure if she had truly understood it back then when people spoke of Jedi and their unnaturally large wings.

“Ani?” Padmé asked, unable to hide her astonishment. “My goodness, you’ve grown. And your wings!”

For all that Anakin was obviously trying not to take up too much space, his treasure golden wings were already blocking off the area they were standing in. She wanted to ask him about their color change, whether that was a part of being a Jedi or something special and inherently Anakin Skywalker. He blushed and smiled sheepishly.

“So have you... grown more beautiful, I mean! And, eh, much shorter... for a Senator, I mean.”

He was fumbling through his words, but it was endearing nevertheless. Padmé still resented the fuss they were throwing about the attacks on her. She was not a helpless little girl. She had never been allowed to be such with the weight of millions of lives on her shoulders. But perhaps she could stand being protected by two Jedi if it were those two.

(In the future every time she looked at Anakin’s prosthesis, she’d hate herself a little. She knew Anakin picked up on it, but didn’t know how to hide or communicate that it wasn’t him she was uncomfortable with. Padmé simply blamed herself for his pain.)

Anakin’s mother had been a slave with a considerably large wingspan. She had been stolen away from her family when she was six. She had been too young to fly then, but when she’d been eleven, she had dared to stand on the rooftop of her Master’s house and wonder whether she would be able to fly if she just jumped and spread her wings. When her Master had spotted her, he had screeched and pulled her away from the edge. He and another group of men had pushed her to the ground and tore at her wings until a loud crack had resonated through the air. Shmi had been screaming, begging and crying then. She wouldn’t have jumped. She hadn’t known the first thing about flying and there was still a detonator in her body that would blow her up as soon as she went too far away.

The men hadn’t cared of course. They had broken her wings and watched in satisfaction as they healed wrongly.

She’d never be able to fly again. They had clipped her wings. Perhaps in Republic space, they’d be able to save them, but nobody would waste such expenses on a slave.

Years later when the Tuskens took her, Shmi was unable to fight them off or reach the skies for freedom. It should have been obvious to them from the angle her wings rested against her back that she might be a Skywalker but she’d never be able to walk the skies, and yet they hadn’t cared and violated her so cruelly for the second time in her life.

Her only relief before her death was seeing the golden color she had last laid her eyes upon almost two decades ago. Her son was free, wasn’t forced to bind or dye his wings.

(Shmi Skywalker didn’t die peacefully. Her body gave up on her after enduring weeks of torture. Hatred lingered in her bones. It was forged into the marrow of every slave, it gave them endurance beyond their nature, but even hatred ran out. In the end, the only kind thing she could feel was the love for her son.)

The first time Anakin saw Padmé’s wings were in that horrible arena on Geonosis. His mind was still full of grief for his mother, the fear for his Master and the horrible guilt eating away at him.

Padmé’s shirt tore, revealing red wings. They reminded Anakin of the robes she’d worn a decade ago when they recaptured Theed first, then of Obi-Wan’s wings second. But where Obi-Wan’s wings were the red of sunset, sunrise, and fires, Padmé’s carried victory, passion and love in its most extreme forms.

They were not enough to carry her as she fell out of the ship and Anakin was once more forced to watch, his heart screaming.

(Anakin knew most people were fascinated by his wings. He had never met or seen another sentient with the same coloring, but he decided then and there, in the aftermath of the beginning of the end, that red was his favorite color. He wouldn’t mind seeing it for the rest of his life.)

CT-7567, Captain Rex, hadn’t known what to expect of the Jedi that would lead him and his brothers. He had certainly heard several things from the other troops so far. They spoke of reckless warriors, flying through blaster fire without any regard for their own health, as long as they could make sure that the war ended a little sooner, that more sentients were saved.

Rex’s wings fit neatly beneath his armor.

He knew it wasn’t always the case.

There were brothers the Kaminoans decommissioned early on because their wings developed too fast, too large. Rex’s were standard, the same brown and white mustering, hardly noticeable when he forced them beneath his undersuit. Rex had never wanted bigger wings unlike some of his batchmates who had quietly exchanged thoughts about how neat it would be to fly. The advantaged they’d have in battle would be much larger.

Rex hadn’t seen the point right up until Commander Skywalker and yelled “Down!” and a huge shadow had settles over their heads. Rex and his brothers were pushed down by the massive weight of Skywalker’s wings.

The dust, dirt, and blood clinging to them didn’t do anything to diminish their shine and Rex found himself caught off-guard.

(He’d freeze a second time like this when yet another Commander Skywalker would push them down to the ground to save them.)

The war carried on. It took its toll. Suffering became apparent in every corner of the galaxy. People were tortured, cried out in pain and slowly but steadily suffocated on their own hopelessness.

Sidious hummed in content.

The miasma in the air, the taint as the Jedi would call it, was the finest treat. The dark side was growing stronger every day and soon victory would be his.

“You wanted to see me, Chancellor?”

Sidious smiled friendly as he took in the sight of his young apprentice. Anakin Skywalker was truly a gift of the Force. He was incredibly strong and would be Sidious’s greatest tool in the creation of his Empire.

The boy’s wings were a hindrance of course, but not one that couldn’t be dealt with as soon as he fell. Sidious had cut off his wings himself. His Master had been impressed, falsely assuming that Sidious had done so to please him. He had let Plagueis believe whatever he wanted. Sidious had merely taken his fate in his own hands. He wasn’t going to rely on another to complete the ritual that would truly open his mind to the dark side of the Force.

“Anakin, my dear boy,” Sidious said. “I am so glad to see you.”

(And Sidious would be celebrating when he came to mold Vader into his weapon. Kenobi had truly given him a gift, ruining his Padawan’s wings himself.)

The thing Ahsoka hated the most about being stuck on the Resolute was the lack of space. She had large wings and could only practice flying in the hangers. While the clones laughed and whistled when she did her spins, she knew she was actually disturbing them and interrupting their work. The non-clone officials on board certainly thought so. Ahsoka thought that if it were just Jedi and clones together, they wouldn’t have any problems, but as soon as the rest of the military or politicians got involved, the fun was over.

Ahsoka stretched her wings and winced when she hit the side of a cabinet with them. There was simply no space anywhere!

“Master,” Ahsoka complained on the training mats. “How do you do it?”

Anakin stopped carefully treading his hands through her feathers. “Do what?”

“Stand the space! The Temple is so much wider. I can’t wait to be back home. Or planetside, whatever comes first, I guess.”

Ahsoka craned her neck so she’d be able to look at her Master’s face. He was smiling only slightly. Far more prominent was his frown and the way his mech-hand twitched. The first time she had seen her Master look like that, they’d been on Tatooine.

“It’s just a matter of getting used to,” Anakin finally answered. “And to your luck, we already have a new mission taking us to a planet that is covered by cliffs and canyons.”

Forgotten about her Master’s behavior, Ahsoka fist-pumped the air. “Yes!”

The last time they had had the chance, she had gone cliff diving with her Master. It had been awesome, just like jumping from the Temple towers. Ahsoka couldn��t wait to do it again.

Then, suddenly, Ahsoka winced as Anakin tugged at one of the feathers she’s injured in the last fight. “Skyguy! That hurt!”

“Sorry,” Anakin apologized, and soothingly ran his hand over her back. “I don’t think this feather is salvageable.”

Ahsoka sighed. She’d already asked Kix if he could help her, but he had given her the same reply. She had hoped Anakin would be able to heal it.

“Is it a pretty one?” Ahsoka asked.

“Yes.”

She looked up again at her Master and the three feathers he kept braided into his hair. One was Obi-Wan’s, the other belonged to Ahsoka and the third, a light brown one, she didn’t know. Anakin had never really told her why he did it, only muttered something about traditions from his homeworld. The precise reason didn't matter, Ahsoka decided, as long as she knew that it meant she was important to him.

“You can switch it out against my old one then,” she decided and watched happily as he did so.

(Later, she’d wish she had asked her Master what it really meant when your wings were restrained. Zygerria left its scars on them in more than one way. In the aftermath, Anakin ensured Ahsoka would have plenty of space to unfurl her wings, but she never forgot the feeling of the heavy leather cords covering her white wings. As Fulcrum, she didn't know whether that experience was a blessing or a curse.)

When Anakin killed Dooku, his wings felt like a dead weight right up until he was back in Padmé’s arms. He was exhausted and hurting, but with her as the center of his world, everything would be alright. With Dooku dead, it was only a question of time until the war was over. He’d resign from the Order and move to Naboo with Padmé where they’d raise their child together. Obi-Wan could visit them and maybe they could track down Ahsoka as well, wrangle her into the flying lessons their child would undoubtedly need.

“Oh?” Padmé asked playfully as they fell into their bed. “So sure our son is going to take after you?”

Anakin smiled and pulled the blanket over them both before covering them additionally with his feathers.

“Our daughter,” he said, his emphasis not going unnoticed, “will absolutely take after me.”

“Alright, alright.” Padmé laughed. “Let’s just hope they don’t decide to learn how to fly by jumping off a building.”

Anakin pulled a face. Retrospectively, perhaps Obi-Wan had been right to lecture him with an ashen face after Anakin’s brilliant – and successful! – attempt at learning how to fly by jumping off a tower. Imagining his own child pulling a stunt like that was terrifying. Ahsoka had already known how to fly when she’d been assigned to Anakin. He hadn’t had to worry about her.

“They won’t,” Anakin mumbled. “We’ll all be there.”

(Princess Leia of Alderaan had been ten when she decided she wanted to fly. She hadn’t cared about the fact that it was as good as a death sentence if an Imperial knew you had the ability. Dressed only in her nightgown, standing on the balcony of their vacation estate high up in the mountains, Leia took a leap of faith. Halfway across the galaxy, a boy threw himself off the cliffs in Beggar’s Canyon in the exact same moment and for the split of a second, they connected.)

It wasn’t an easy choice, it was no choice at all.

It was over a decade of careful grooming, a Sith Lord running his hands over golden feathers, pretending to help preen the spaces Anakin could never reach on his own. It were the lies, the distrust, the pain, all the mistakes, anger and frustration and a childhood bound in chains Anakin had never been able to break entirely.

He needed to save Padmé and his unborn child. He had to protect them from harm, his nightmares come alive, so he took his ‘saber and marched to the temple, his army at his back.

(Some of their shots hit his wings, but in the void darkness of the Force, Vader didn’t even register it. He didn’t think of the younglings that used to beg him for lessons or let out delighted shrieks when he submitted to their pleas and let them brush through his feathers and keep the ones that broke off or came loose. He didn’t think because he was drowning, choking on his own tears, hoping it would all be over soon.)

Vader could hardly fly on Mustafar. It gave Obi-Wan a considerable advantage, but he had trained Anakin to be able to handle any possible disadvantage. He tried not to linger on the thoughts of his former Padawan, the boy he had raised and adored, as he battled the Sith Lord in front of him. The ashes of the volcanic planet settled on their wings, dragging them down until Ana- not Anakin, his brother was dead, Sidious had ruined him, until Vader was lying on the ground, screaming. He was tearing at the remnants of their bond, sharp claws tried to cut into Obi-Wan’s mind.

He wanted to reach out. He wanted Anakin back.

“You were my brother Anakin! I loved you!”

And if he were a better Jedi, he wouldn’t have watched Vader’s torment but taken his blade and ended the Sith’s life.

(But he couldn’t. He had told Yoda that he wouldn’t be able to kill him and he couldn’t bear to linger as he watched the once so beautiful golden wings burn.)

In the aftermath, while Yoda told Bail what to expect when raising a Force-sensitive child and how to hide little Leia’s presence, Obi-Wan sat curled up in the corner of the space station, holding both children close his chest. It should be no surprise that they’d take after Anakin, and yet Obi-Wan had been shocked still when he’d seen the soft gold color of their wings. He knew they wouldn’t keep their color for long, likely never actually see it themselves.

Alderaan’s royalty ate white hibiscus flowers that dyed their wings the same color and Luke would be fed japor oil on Tatooine as Anakin had once been.

Nobody would ever know that these children had survived and lived. They would be safe.

(On his way to Tatooine, Obi-Wan took great care that nobody saw his own red feathers or Luke’s golden ones. It didn’t occur to him that he’d be better off tainting his wings as well until he actually arrived on the doorstep of the Lars homestead.)

When Vader woke up again for the first time, even Sidious was surprised at the level of pain, fury, rage and despair that was tearing at the Sith’s mind.

Traditionally, Vader’s wings would have to be cut down, but it would prove much more futile if that darkness engulfing Vader wasn’t allowed to lower.

“Put him under again,” Sidious ordered.

The Jedi were either already dead or dying. It was only a question of time and the dark side taught patience so very well. Sidious didn’t have to concern himself with his Empire for a moment, no, he could focus on his apprentice fully.

His wings weren’t entirely ruined. The bones still remained, as did some feathers.

“Keep the skeleton,” Sidious mused as he imagined what he wanted his Lord Vader to look like. “Encase them in metal. Give my apprentice wings befitting of his station.”

Skywalker was dead. There would be no more Jedi claiming the skies for themselves and putting their precious light above Sidious’s throne and Vader would spent his every second remembering it through pain.

Force-sensitive people didn’t just stop being born because the Empire willed it so, but more children died or lost their wings in infancy than ever before.

It would be a lie to say that the few Jedi that remained didn’t consider mutilating themselves for protection.

What use were wings if you could never fly again unless you wanted to risk your life?

And yet there were enough who treasured the gifts they had been given, always hoping and reaching for a future where the darkness would cease dragging them down.

When Obi-Wan decided to die for the galaxy’s future, his wings were as black as his Padawan’s once had been when he was young and Obi-Wan had hoped to never see the color again.

Luke and Leia looked like two halves of the same being, not just physically but also in the Force. Obi-Wan was relieved to see how strong they were, already connecting and reaching out despite being unaware of their relationship. Separating them when they were young had been the right decision. Vader would have found them too soon.

Now all Obi-Wan could do was focus on the opponent in front of him, let all hope escape.

He had been aware of Vader’s presence ever since he had stepped on this monstrosity of a weapon. It mirrored Vader’s appearance all too well. Obi-Wan had heard stories about Vader had made out of himself, but seeing it in person almost took him back to Mustafar and the smell of burning flesh.

Darth Vader’s wings were massive metallic blades, clicking eerily with his every move. It was impossible to ignore the whirling sound of the machinery that made them functional. Vader’s wings were terror, they looked like bones encased in durasteel coffins.

They were nothing like Anakin Skywalker’s.

The wingspan was the same, larger than anybody else’s, but that was where the similarities ended. These wings had never covered an entire squad of troopers to protect them from debris, they had never been touched by something that wasn’t blood and gore. They looked as unnatural as they felt.

They were what horrified Obi-Wan Kenobi the most about his former apprentice’s appearance. He used to be so proud of Anakin’s beautiful golden wings, had spent hours helping his young charge groom them until Anakin had fallen asleep, his much too large wings draped over Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

(This would haunt him past his own death until he could run his fingers through golden feathers again. He had stood aside as Anakin’s wings, his soul, had burned on the shores of Mustafar and he had turned away.)

Luke Skywalker stood out in every room he was in. It wasn’t just his ridiculously large wing size, he simply seemed to draw people in. Leia especially enjoyed being near him. He knew all about the rumors crawling around their bases about the two of them and had Leia not been raised a princess, she would have thrown at least one punch.

Spending time with Luke reminded Leia of all the times she had been able to spend lazy mornings with her family. It felt like coming home, a balm that calmed the phantom pains that had haunted her since her childhood.

She was the first to see that Luke’s black wings were as much of a lie as her white ones. Leia hadn’t had any of the white flower tea since her imprisonment on the Death Star and she wasn’t used to grooming her wings herself. She knew her wings looked terrible and she knew some of her original color, of which her parents had never informed her, was starting to come through in some cases. Leia kept her wings bound, protection against the Empire, so she hadn’t actually paid as much attention to it until she found Luke staring at a gold feather lying innocently on the floor.

“Is this your original color?” Leia asked him and picked the feather up.

Luke slowly nodded and opened up his wings. The newest feathers stood out against the dark black. They were the same gold as the one in Leia’s hands.

“Yes,” Luke answered. “But that feather isn’t mine.”

With gentle hands he helped her brush through her wings, get rid of all the old and broken feathers she had damaged and hadn’t thought to take care of because she was busy fighting a war.

(In the end, it was no surprise to learn they were siblings. The Alliance had been calling them their golden twins for years already by then as both had shed their old colors and stopped pretending they hadn’t been made for the skies.)

The memory of Bespin, of clinging to the pole while he was forced to listen to Vader’s wings clicking against the metal railings and horrible truth he revealed, would haunt Luke for years. He injured his left wing while escaping and lost his hand in a fight that never should have happened. Back on Tatooine, his family had always told him not to draw too much attention, that it was dangerous for him, but had gotten so used to flying while he was staying with the Alliance.

If he fell here, he wouldn’t be able to fly away.

He chose to do so anyway, all while begging Ben to tell him why had told him such cruel lies, wondering what kind of person could stand to watch another burn.

(He had hoped Leia would catch him, but he didn’t expect her to look like a vengeful goddess, the orange and red of the skies reflecting on her wings like blood.)

Darth Vader died the same way he was born, in agonizing pain. He broke out of the Emperor’s hold and Anakin Skywalker took the monster that had enslaved the whole galaxy and killed him with slow, aching breaths. Luke was grieving, trying to drag Anakin’s heavy body down to the ships.

“Luke, help me take this mask off,” Anakin rasped.

Luke’s wings flared up. He’d been informed of their golden color, the same as that of the princess. He hadn’t dared to entertain the thought that perhaps it was not just one child, too afraid of what that would mean for his actions.

“But you’ll die!”

Beneath his mask, Anakin smiled. He didn’t deserve his son who was so kind he could even cry for a broken man like him.

“Nothing can stop that now. Just for once… let me look on you with my own eyes.”

Luke hesitated for a moment, then he slowly pulled the mask of Anakin’s face. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, but then he saw his son for the first time. He was beyond stunned how much he looked like Padmé. His wings behind him illuminated the darkness of the hall like the sun.

He was beautiful.

All Anakin had dreamed of and more. He was glad that this was the last thing Anakin got to see. Everything would be well, there would be peace.

(And when death came, Anakin didn’t resist and scream and beg. He smiled, threw himself into Obi-Wan’s arms, the wings on his back lifting him to the skies as he watched the light shine.)

The sun was high in the blue afternoon sky and the air was so thick with excitement, tension, cheer and joy that you could almost taste it on your tongue.

Excitedly, they were all standing at the platform on top of the temple. From up here, they could see the pilots getting their fighters, people going about their day and, most importantly, a rather large group of Knights and Padawans and family members standing below them, cheering.

“Alright, Initiates,” Jedi Master Ezra Bridger said. “Today’s the day. Are you ready?”

“Born ready!” A very bold Trandoshan youngling said while the Togruta boy next to her only eyes the edge of the platform with a vary look.

“This is an age-old tradition,” Ezra continues as he slowly walked backwards. “My Master taught me how to fly like this and the Masters Skywalker and Organa learned how to fly the exact same way.”

The younglings looked at the other two Masters that had accompanied them to the very top, seeking their agreement. Leia stepped away from the back and walked to the front to her brother, letting her wings brush over the heads of the assembled children, causing them to giggle.

“We did learn that way,” Leia said, smiling in amusement. “Only we didn’t have anyone to catch us at the bottom should it go wrong.”

The group looked at the Jedi Master with big eyes. They couldn’t imagine making this jump without anybody ensuring them they’d be saved and would be caught before they hit the ground.

“Don’t worry,” Luke said as he stepped off the platform. “We won’t let you fall.”

(And no child of this new age did.)

#star wars #Anakin Skywalker #obi wan kenobi #Luke Skywalker #leia organa #fanfic #hello yes i have many feels about wingfics

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shytiff · 3 years

Text

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing. there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row.

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken.

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd.

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

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hippocampus-studies · 5 years

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five lil tips I wish I had listened to my freshman year of college

a lot of your time is going to be unstructured

I know, I know, just about every adult you know has probably told you that college is nothing like high school, but hear me out : I’m not just talking about classes. It’s likely that this is going to be the first time you’ve lived on your own, which means on top of all your classes, you’re buying your own food/toiletries, doing your own dishes, managing your time, etc. Understanding that your day-to-day routine is going to be different and no one is going to hold you accountable for how you manage your time is key to making the shift to managing things on your own.

tl;dr: be ready to make the lifestyle adjustments (especially the non-academic ones) that come with university

don’t isolate yourself

This one is tempting--especially if you’re not a super social person like me, it can be really easy to block out the people around you. Take it from someone who did that their first year of school: isolating yourself from the people around you is one of the most damaging things you can do to yourself. Take an hour and go to the goofy game night on your floor, grab coffee with that one person in your chem class that you always end up sitting next to, and please don’t forget to call your parents (or whatever family members/friends help keep you grounded) when you think about it. Most importantly if you feel like you’re continually having feelings of anxiousness or nervousness, I would encourage you to speak to someone: see if you have a counselling service through your school (many larger schools do), or talk to an advisor or an adult you can trust about how you’re feeling

tl;dr: don’t shut yourself off from people who care about you; it will hurt you in the long run

stay organized

This seems like another no-brainer, but between classes, homework, labs (potentially), clubs/organizations, and everything else, you’d be surprised how easily things can slip through the cracks. Figuring out what planner works for you is key--be it a bullet journal, google calendars, or just a whiteboard in your room. I know that studyblr is full of beautifully colored and styled bujo pics, but don’t be fooled: what works for you does not have to be pretty, it just has to work. I always suggest to people take 30 minutes on Sunday or Monday to go through emails and schedule out the week so you don’t have an assignment or meeting pop up out of nowhere.

tl;dr: find a planner that is functional, not pretty

schedule free time for yourself

This may seem a little dumb, but I literally put in “free time” in my planner on Friday afternoons. I figured this out my second semester--that if I put free time in my schedule, I would be more likely to not procrastinate during the week and I would keep myself from getting overtired by the weekend. Whatever free time looks like to you--whether it’s reading a book, watching an episode of a show you like, or going for a run, having a set time once or twice a week to unwind is very beneficial.

tl;dr: be specific with the time you take for yourself to help keep you motivated and prevent burnout.

figure out ways to stay active

I hate to say it, but the 15 minute walk to your class does not count as a workout. Staying active is an easy way to help reduce stress and anxiety, and can even be a good way to meet other people. I would suggest one hour 3 times a week as a baseline, but what you do is up to you. Whether it’s something more basic like just hitting the gym or going for a run, or joining a yoga or dance class with some friends, finding a few times a week to stay active will be really helpful in the long run (pun intended). I know it can seem overwhelming to try and fit something like working out into an already hectic schedule, but working out always helps me quiet my brain and stress a little less, and I bet it will for you as well.

tl;dr: find a few times a week to work out

and that’s it! campus life can be hard but I believe in you!! it’s a big leap but you got it bby!! crush those exams!! join that weird club!! ask the cute kid down the hall out!! life is short but college is a cosmos of opportunity!!

#love you all!!!!#student #studyblr #study #studyspo #study inspo #college life #advice #reminder #motivation #organization #this entire post is a huge @ freshman me

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declassifieducdsurvivalguid-blog · 5 years

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The Truth About Final Year & Graduating College

I’m currently a second year UCD student and will be graduating from college next year. Do you have any advice for someone going into final year?

With the end of final year (thankfully) in sight, I’ve been thinking recently about how it all began. There are some moments I know I’ll never forget. No matter how hard I’ve tried.

I remember taking up boxing in first year. I was excited to try something different… that and my brothers, who both boxed for UCD, had warned that I would disgrace the family name if didn’t follow in their footsteps as D1 and D2 and accept my fate as D3. Let’s just say, that becoming the next Katie Taylor wasn’t quite on the cards for me. I didn’t even last a minute into my first sparring match before I lost my footing and absolutely floored myself.

And I haven’t stepped into another boxing ring since.

A lot of things can change in four years. But college knocking me out isn’t one of them.

Let’s be honest: being a final year student isn’t easy for anyone and there’ll be times when you feel like throwing in the towel. While I may not have the answers to all the questions, here’s what I’ve got so far:

#1 Why am I like this?

Assignments, presentations, group projects and exams all around the corner and yet there I am, sitting in the library, taking a quiz to find out which character I’m most like from Derry Girls...

And anyone who knows me, knows I’m most definitely a Clare.

But we all have our moments of feeling in a bit of funk, struggling to muster up the motivation to finish the semester or looking at your list-to-do like…

So, when final year exams are looming, stress levels are rising exponentially and you’re not sure where or how to start, I’ve got one word for you: Pomodoro.

Pomodoro is something I only came across recently, but it has become my go-to study tip for combatting chronic bouts of procrastination. Pomodoro in a nutshell?

1. Set aside 25 minutes to work on a task (that you probably should have started over the two weeks break but we are where we are), put away all distractions and just do it.

2. Once the 25 minutes are up, get up and take a 5-10 minutes break.

3. Rinse and repeat.

By taking regular breaks, you’re coming back each time refreshed and ready to power through, your productivity looking something like this…

And that’s it: 25 minutes study, 5-10 minutes break. Until your break turns into an hour and half queue for free ice-cream...

It’s all about balance, really. Which brings me to my next point…

#2 hAve yOu nOt bEeN dOinG tHe rEaDinGs?

Sometimes, it’ll seem like no matter what you do, you’re always behind. And when you finally feel somewhat on top of things, you open up the group Google doc…and die a little inside.

I’m going to be honest, you’ll reach a point (s) in the semester when the stress of final year and the reality of graduating will hit you and you’re just like…

But listen, you’ll get through it. You’ll get around to the readings, you’ll write the essay, you’ll sit the exam. Even when you rock up to the RDS with fours sleep, get your seat number wrong and almost go into cardiac arrest when you’re handed an engineering paper (if you read my last blog, you’ll know that shapes are not my thing). In short: you’ll survive.

If you’re feeling stressed out and need someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to check out the UCD Student Health Service and UCD Student Counselling Service or reach out to your Student Adviser or the SU’s Welfare Officer.

#3 So, what are your plans for next year?

If you’ve read my last blog (you can read it here), you’ll also know that I haven’t had much luck on the graduate jobs front so far. I still haven’t figured it all out yet. And maybe you’re in the same boat, not sure what job or masters to pursue or quite frankly, what exactly you want to do with your life after college. Sometimes there’s a pressure to have all the answers and when you can’t see yourself following a certain path, you can be left standing there, thinking… well, where do I go now? But with time, you’ll see there’s not only four (big) directions you can go in. So, if you’re feeling lost, don’t worry – you’ll find your way.

Truth is, nothing’s going to hit you as hard as life. But if I’m to give you any bit of advice for final year or college that I’ve learned from my time in UCD, it’s this: when life knocks you down, you get right back into the ring and keep fighting.

Going into final year and want to know what to expect? Have any advice of your own for final years and future college graduates? Any standout moments from your final year recap? Send in your thoughts, questions and experiences - I’d love to hear from you!

#UCD #final year #student #advice #graduating college #future graduate #graduate jobs #final year exams #final year stress #pomodoro #university #college #dublin

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hap-hazard · 6 years

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study tips for a procrastinating mess

as a self-admitted chronic procrastinator, i have decided to post ALL my stupid tricks that help me! hopefully i can internalize them through text *insert heavenly sound here* (chronic procrastinator as in I, esther the idiot, literally stayed up till 4:30 am writing a position paper that i got stuck on and sat in front of for an entire 14 hours. straight. i need help.)

drink with a straw. saw this somewhere, it helps, basically if i have like a cup of water or something i need to constantly pick it up and put it down and it just stops my hands from moving and my mind from thinking aiya. BUT you know I constantly need something to do with myself or i find something to do (aka tumblr and boredpanda) which is why i study snack like a grazing animal omg and also why my hair is always messed up after sitting down in the library for an hour ugh. SO: straws ftw.

similarly, tie hair up. if my hair is down. i will play with it. and that means i WON’T be typing. it must. be. up.

don’t die studying for assessments! briefly review with vocab! this may just be me but really when it comes to tests and quizzes it’s usually not what i studied independently that counts, it’s what i fully learned in the first place. so listen like a really attentive 5 year old in class (cuz that’s basically what you are in relation to a knowledgeable teacher) and then before a test just review vocabulary and dates so you can make sure you’re able to revive that dead information in your brain from 5 days ago. i use vocabulary sheets as knowledge defibrillators.

throw your phone across the room! this is probably why my screen protector has so many cracks. but yeah i leave it across the room or in another room where i can’t see the screen.. if i don’t see it it’s usually out of sight out of mind. oh and if i need to use my phone i don’t check any other notifications because if i read a text i always feel obligated to reply so just leave that gross red notification hanging there for a while.

things to do after hitting the wall/when feeling really stuck in a rut: shower. do chores. walk the dog or run errands to get out of the house (but not longer than half an hour). refill water and stretch while doing it. play guitar but limit it to 20 min. check in on a family member and ask hyd. braid hair or retie it. stand up and scream a little. dance around the house and sing. give yourself a pep talk about all the stuff you have to do in order. sit somewhere new even if it’s in the same room and DECIDE it is now a new beginning because you shifted two seats to the left.

music is to block out sound, not to entertain. my house is almost always noisy; dad on the phone, mom talking to my brother, sister practicing traditional chinese instruments, brother singing along to the entire freaking hamilton soundtrack, dog barking, grandpa snoring... earbuds are savior. at cafes too. people say to only listen to instrumental and i tend to agree, but sometimes listening to my usual chillhop playlist just makes me sad and unmotivated so i alternate between a few playlists just to switch it up and keep ME AWAKE. heck i even listen to white noise, anything to drown out distracting interactions

ALSO earbuds are good even if there’s no one else around because they prevent you from getting up to do random stuff (cordsssssss hallelujah for annoying cords). ESPECIALLY keeping you away from mindlessly checking your phone.

get out. really just leave the house or wherever you normally study. i go to a different cafe every time i need to hardcore study just because being in my house makes me feel relaxed. if i pay for a starbucks coffee, i am NOT going home until i use that starbucks time well and do something productive. also this gives me a conscious reminder of my time because i have to go home at a certain time etc. etc.

when in midst of a break-down, tell someone. not in the “oh no you’re going to hurt someone or hurt yourself” sense, but because it helps you finish that break-down up and feel re-motivated. crying to my mom about an assignment may or may not help with the assignment, but at least i cried and now i don’t need to agonize for another hour over the stress. text-spamming a friend may be stupid in retrospect but as long as you go “HEY I’M DYING LISTEN TO MY STUPID LIFE CHOICES FOR 5 MIN” and then get right back to work it will help you move past the stress and get back in a grind.

for exams, just make a list of things to know better then attend after school hours. at our school the teachers have after school hours or free periods and they are *usually* very happy to engage with a student and answer questions regarding material during this time. for finals, i usually don’t try to cram everything. i look over all my notes and vocab and just make a super basic list of things i dont know well (or highlight the terms in my notes). making an entire comprehensive study guide of these things takes too long. then i go to the teacher and talk it all out. just make sure i understand and then while talking scribble down a couple words so i can remember. after doing this sometime during the week before the final exam i can HANDLE ITTTT and i don’t need to cram quite as much. (this probably works because i’m an auditory learner.)

BONUS TIPS FOR STUDYING LATE AT NIGHT! all-nighters are scary; try to get at least a couple hrs of sleep or your days will all seem like one and you’ll lose your sense of time and school and classes. food gives energy. hot drinks keep you awake. if you are tired you will feel colder (idk why but everything is always colder if i’m underslept). DO NOT expect a comfortable aesthetic night; if you get any blankets more than necessary you will fall asleep.

there’s probably more but i really don’t remember it ahhaha i’ll add it later if i think of it. and i know there are so many good things that i don’t do while studying like making a schedule etc etc etc... it’s just they don’t always work for me, these are my fail-safes haha.

also here are my spotify playlists (either that i made or that i listen to):

for when i am SAD:

the songs that make me happy

Reggae Infusions

String Theory

for when i must BLOCK OUT NOISE and get in that study mood you know:

new chill

Jazz Vibes

heiwifjejdj

Ocean Escapes

for when i am TIRED:

electro swing

qoidnsdv

*when i'm tired i also listen to my normal music and sing along a little

#i literally am a mess i don't know how to study this is probably a mess too oh well ahahha #study #study tips #help me #procrastinating #procrastination help #chronic procrastinator #ap student #students #focus #study playlist #exams #all-nighters #high school students #ap classes

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workhard-dreambig-lovelife-blog · 5 years

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a new beginning

Hi, I’m Jovana, a first year medical student. The fact that I’m studying medicine still hasn’t hit me yet - it all feels like a dream come true. I wanted to start this studyblr as a tracker and also for my own motivation - so that I’m held accountable, that I keep working and not procrastinating. While typing this I got my exam timetable and even though it feels like I have plenty of time I know there really isn’t. My main exams are only in January, but before that I have colloquiums up until December. My first colloquium is on Physics - and frankly I don’t have much time for that - it’s on the 15th of November, and well I have 11 lectures to learn by then. I’m going to use this page/studyblr as a way to keep myself in track and maybe even motivate others. Bare in mind - I don’t have super neat, pretty cursive writing (it’s really plain and messy most of the time) and I don’t have a very cool desk setup or many different types of pens and highlighters BUT i’ll try to keep my feed pretty and interesting.

I hope you follow me along my journey - may that be silently or give me study tips (I still haven’t completely figured out what my learning style is and I’m experimenting with it so you can help me with that) or just talk to me!

#studyblr #study motivation #first year #medical school #med student #studying abroad

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cloudyyoonji · 6 years

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Study Love.

Summary: After a long day at university, you’re left stressed. But Jungkook is always there to save you from your stresses.

Jeon Jungkook and Reader (Y/N).

Genre: Fluffy.

Word Count: 1363 words.

Authors Note: Hello guys! Here’s another JK imagine to ease your troubles!

Edit: to anyone who has seen this post, originally it was an angst uni imagine. But I was unhappy with the writing so I decided to change it and make it a fluffy uni destress imagine, as Im sure it relates to a lot of people’s stresses right now. Again Thankyou for the support and enjoy!

_____________________________________

University, the best years of your life some say. Yet, university had easily worked its way into being the most stressful part of your life. You were really beginning to doubt if your degree was even worth it anymore.

But of course, he’s there.

Jeon Jungkook, Your boyfriend of 5 years. He’s been there all the way through it. Though the application process all the way to the studying for your final exams that were in a few weeks.

Studying was tough, but you were almost at the end. And it would be so worth it.

You sigh, signing your name amongst the thousands of others on the lined paper. Exam season unfortunately meant a jam-packed library.

Sitting down at a small desk in the corner, you pull out the books from your bag. A light wind generated from your rapid flipping of pages tousles your hair, your eyes scanning over the blank pages for a sign of your cursive handwriting.

Expecting the few lines of a summary, youre instead met with the small, neat handwriting of your boyfriend.

You roll your eyes at the note, a smile gracing your lips. These were special moments you cherished.

You were both so busy that small, precious notes were the only way you two could comunicate in the day.

Closing the book, you reach for the small stash of palm cards in your planner but instead.

“Fighting!”

You can’t help but laugh at Yoongi’s messy scrawl.

Had everyone written you a note of motivation?

Taehyung, than Seokjin, Hoseok, Namjoon and even Jimin, all seven of the boys reminded you to stay on top of your studies, and remember to take a break when you needed it most.

Sighing happily, you began your summary on your essay.

These boys knew just what you needed today.

How long you actually studied, you had no idea. But the ringing of what signaled the end of a hard day of studying made you race to your car, desperate to get home.

Today, the beautiful evening pink sky made you feel somewhat better about your study, but made you even more excited to get home.

*****

Shoving the keys into the door, your mind is pounding with the positive words of the notes and with the sligh headache of long term study. You remind yourself to bring you glasses with you tomorrow.

“Hey!”

His silky voice is music to your ears, your preoccupied mind melting away in an instant, but the sight of your planner clutched in your hand is enough to arise the bittersweet reality of today. You still needed to study.

Sighing slightly at the work ahead, you walk into the kitchen, dropping your bag onto the tiled floor beneath you.

You’re met with the gaze of your boyfriend, who stands in the kitchen, coffee in hand. His eyes are glazed with worry as they scan your face.

You smile brightly, assuring him that you were just tired. He mirrors your smile, satisfied that you were okay.

Putting your planner down, you hummed in procrastination, Jungkook raising his eyebrows at you. He knew your procrastination habits were bad.

“Let me guess, you’re not going to do that.”

“Nope.”

He laughed at you, “So what are you going to do?”

You smiled, a perfect plan for tonight forming in your mind.

“I’m going to go have a shower.”

The warm water washes away your troubles, settling yourself on the couch wrapped in the comfort of your favourite blanket to further relax yourself. The random movie playing on the television doesn’t quite have all your attention as you wait for him. But the moment he walks in, you feel yourself relax a bit more. He sits down next to you, estranging no words as he moves to get comfortable.

As moments pass, your studying mind eases just by his presence.

“Y/N.”

Your eyes shift from the tv in front of you to your boyfriend.

But his eyes are already trained on you. Your heart pounds at just the site of him.

“Hi.”

You smile at the simple words. “Hi.”

Laying his head on your shoulder, you hear him sigh in content.

This was rare, the two of you being at home together, uninterrupted. One or all of the boys were normally over after they finished practice. And sometimes you weren’t home until late hours in the night, staying up at the local library drilling the countless words sequence into your head.

“You know how that I’m so proud of you right?” He asks, pulling you a little closer to him.

Nodding, you take in his rare scent and presence.

“Then you’ll believe me when I say you’ve been overworking yourself?”

Sighing, you nod again. It’s true. The exams, now less than a week away, we’re being to replace your boyfriend. The desk now your bed, and the words formed by your pen replaced the texts from phone.

But somehow, you still couldn’t get your head around this essay, and it was stressing you out.

“You’ve been so busy getting ready for the next comeback and you’re always so tired or busy… I didn’t want to bother you with a meaningless essay.” You tell him. It was the truth after all.

Amongst all the positivity in your life, this was one you couldn’t really control. And you wanted to be able to do it yourself.

This time it’s his turn to sigh. He shakes his head at your words.

“Jagi. Seriously, I don’t care if you wake me at 3 in the morning to tell me you’re having a problem studying. I can help. I want to help. These exams are hard, and I want to help as much as I can. You know that I love you unconditionally, and you know I hate seeing you under so much stress? So please, let me help you somehow. ”

His words hit you right in the heart, you’re eyes avoiding him in guilt. You’re speechless at his sincere words. It had not even occurred to you to ask him for help while you two were at home like this. You were so determined to just spend time with him that you... you procrastinated a lot, than made up for lost time at the library.

But Jungkook has his own plans to help you de stress today.

Taking your hand, he pulls you up from your comfortable spot on the couch and guides you to your shared bedroom. Gesturing for you to lie down, as he climbs into his side of the bed. You obey his gesture, climbing into your own side, and pulling the covers over yourself.

“What are you -“ he cuts you off with a finger to your lips.

“Cuddling.”

His lame reply makes you smile, rolling your eyes a little at his goofy smile. The essay completely gone from your mind.

He pulls you close, intertwining your limbs to ensure there was no gap between you both, your head pushed into his chest.

A soft smile graces your features as you pull back to take a look at him, your noses now touching. He laughs at the gesture, making you shyly pull back a bit more. But your shyness only makes him laugh more, instead, he opts for a different approach to your shy nature - closing the gap between you both.

His lips are soft on yours, the kiss being slow but full of passion. Every brush of lips against lips sends shivers down your spine. The quick swiping of his thumb on your cheekbone and the silent shaky breaths calming the raging storm in your mind, the memories of today completely melted away by this moment.

He was worth it all.

His touch, his kiss, his breath. It is worth all the short amount of time you’re weren’t studying.

You smile into the kiss, Jungkooks touch sending ripples of shivers down your body. When the kiss is broken, you both are left completely breathless.

“I love you. So much.” Your breath, your eyes flicking up to meet his warm brown ones.

He smiles, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

“And I love you more.”

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0ompa-loompa · 6 years

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Assignments, final projects, try-outs, mock weeks, finals, college applications, these are what senior year is made of. Naturally, it’s the period of time when you most feel the urge to jump off a cliff. From the first week of school, I could already see the differences senior year brought to my school mates. People were starting to realize that they had to receive great marks, they had to get accepted into good colleges, they had to do this and that as ways to an accomplished future.

Over the years of being a high school student, every time there was a free period, or just any studying-free moment at school, we would watch movies, gossip, or simply be on our phones for hours. Now in every free periods, my classmates would take out these heavy-ass books that can be used comfortably as pillows and actually study. Or re-write their notes. Or revise a subject for next week’s quiz. Anything to keep them working (just curious, do these symptoms apply to all senior year students around the world?).

Since junior year were pretty traumatizing for me (thanks to student government), I had been planning all holiday to give my 110% for senior year. Long story short, I hit it off since day 1 and came out alive six months later. Although it resulted in me spending 3 days sleeping in after end-of-term exams were over, I’m really happy for having been very productive this entire term. I know there’s still 6 months left and the worst parts are yet to come, so I decided to share a few tips exclusively coming from someone *glares at myself* who did remarkably awful the previous year and somehow found a way to crawl back from death

1. Know Where You’re Going

Getting to the very last year of high school, this is the MOST important part of surviving. Without having your long-term goal, it would be like taking down hundreds of obstacles without having a destination in mind. You don’t know where you’re going, but more monsters keep showing up on your path. Trust me, you’ll eventually get tired and stop trying midway. Losing motivation when you’re in the most vital part of your study can’t be a good thing.

Do research on the degrees you’re interested in taking, from their passing grades to job prospects. Make sure you actually enjoy the subjects needed for those degrees. For example, if you can’t stand Biology, better if you don’t consider attending medical school, and the same goes to other subjects as well.

2. Maintain Productivity

The amount of school work you’re getting can be overwhelming, that is why you have to do them as soon as possible to prevent them from piling up. You don’t have to finish them all in one day, it’s impossible and careless. At least try to do them bits by bits until the night before due when you can go over what you’ve done and fix a few imperfections or cross-check your answers. Try doing this to multiple assignments instead of focusing on one or two assignments the entire week.

I usually bring unfinished assignments to school so I can get to work when I have free time, usually before after-school extras, or while waiting for an extra course. This way instead of going on Tumblr for hours, I’ll be figuring out math problems and (hopefully) have the homework done by ½ when the course starts.

3. Gather Motivation

Take a look at that magnificent building, I will build tens of those once I become an architect. Have you seen the latest VSxBalmain collection? I’ll someday be working alongside Olivier Rousting .

It’s very important to keep being productive and use every free time wisely. While you’re at it, make sure to keep your motivate-o-meter at high level. Motivation and inspiration can come from anyone, anywhere and it doesn’t even have to come from anything relevant to your life goals. I usually get a boost of motivation after watching a couple videos of my favorite Youtubers (which has no correlation whatsoever to being an engineer), and I recently got a huge inspo from reading Crazy Rich Asians. It seriously motivated me to work my ass off and be rich.

4. Don’t Stop ‘til You’re Proud

Catch up on things you don’t fully understand. If you had a problem with certain subjects or materials, find the answers right away, don’t wait until the day before quizzes or mock tests when you will desperately need answers. Ask teachers, your friends, or our most trusty friend the internet. You can also download several applications to help you study, like Khan Academy and other similar apps. Once you put one problem out of sight, it will become easier for you to put more aside . This is what happened to me last year, I had problems understanding Chem but I refused to actually figure them out, thinking I would learn the materials later. 10 laters later, I got a 7 for end-of-semester test while my classmates received 9s and 8s.

So you have studied for this particular test and still got a bad mark. Shit happens honey, tough it up. Even while I’m writing this, I fully understand that the theory of ‘picking-yourself-up’ is much easier said than done. Give yourself some time to breathe, and start with “okay, where did I go wrong?”. Figure out the errors to make sure you’re not doing them the second time. Consider it this way: the subject has betrayed you and you’re getting a revenge. I planted this idea the very first day of senior year, the thought has driven me to never quit trying. It’s almost like Elle Woods to Warner, but instead it’s me and Physics.

5. Get A Rest.

Senior year doesn’t mean you lose all hope of going on shopping sprees, watching the latest movies, or taking care of your Tumblr blog. If anything, I’ve watched more movies with my friends this year than I did previous years, simply because we have little time to relax so we made the most of one when we had the chance to. As long as you keep track on your to-do-list, stay discipline on your schedule, a little catch up on KUWTK won’t hurt.

Don’t push yourself to the point of falling down. Read books, paint, dance, even play games (Mobile Legend is the hype these days it’s getting annoying), anything to keep you sane and motivated. Never let the pressure of GPAs and prestigious colleges take positivity away from you.

6. Don’t Over-Rest.

Yes, hun, I was just telling you to enjoy your senior year and now I’m telling you to not over-relax your way. Maintain a schedule, make agreements with yourself and stick to it. “At 8pm I will start on Math homework, and the rest is for tomorrow”. “I will work my butts off from 8 to 10 am then I can go on Tumblr”. “I will start on my History papers and take a rest after 2 pages”.

I’m not telling you to work 24/7 because that’s not healthy, I’m ALSO not telling you to spend all your weekend in bed and procrastinate because it would defeat the whole purpose of learning to be productive. Once you let yourself procrastinate, It’ll be easier for you to do it for the second, third, and fourth time. Sometimes you just need to gather your will, get up and face those text books.

Well, there you go. These are all the things I have been doing to not only survive, but to do well in high school. I have been doing all these tips religiously for the past 6 months, it’s almost impossible not to feel tired or even want to just cut it off. But studying routinely makes me feel in control of what’s happening currently, what’s going to happen next, what I want to be doing in the future. So get up and let’s kick asses together.

#eintstetic #focusign #heysareena #acadmia #studyign #studyblr #blog #eintsein #athenastudying #studyquill #academiix #heyscholarly #creatingnotes #intellectys #lycheestudy #intellctuals

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jaime-etudier · 6 years

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These are just some tips from a professional procrastinator, on how I actually ever get shit done. What works for me may not work for you, but just give it a shot. I know these probably all seem like common knowledge, but sometimes having it listed out makes all the difference (Also I know this is a long ass post but I’ve bolded the main points and placed other important notes in italics so you can just glance over it if needed).

Part 1: Basic Tips

Don’t open youtube. It’s a deathtrap for me. A deathtrap leads to spiralling into the most unproductive day possible. It happens to me constantly. Maybe instagram, twitter, or tumblr is your deathtrap, but whatever it is, stay the fuck away from it. Here’s a couple of ways to do just that.

Forest: I know I’ve talked about it before but this app/chrome extension is the shit. Set it for a certain amount of time and it plants a tree. You can blacklist sites or apps and if you visit them, it kills the tree. If you leave the app or stop the timer before it’s done, you kill the tree. Just don’t kill the trees.

Put your phone in another room. I know. It’s hard. But it really helps eliminate distractions if you’re not using an app like forest. If you can’t do that, just focus on not allowing yourself to use it unless absolutely necessary. Self-discipline pays off in the long run. And that brings me to my next point.

Just do it. Too simple, I know. But literally just sit your ass down, take out your computer/textbooks, and get to work. If you force yourself to do even just 2 minutes of work, at least you’ve done something. It’s not about motivation at this point, it’s about discipline. As sappy as it sounds, you really can do whatever you put your mind to.

Make a list! Prioritize! Take it subject by subject, making a checklist on everything you need to get done. Once you’ve done that, go back and rate them on how important they are, and when they’re do. I use exclamation marks to demonstrate urgency. For example:

(!) Psyc: type notes

(!!) Hist: Essay assignment; read ch 1 & 2

(!!!) Engl: interview Assignment

(!!) Cjus: read ch 1,2, & 4

(!) Arab: outline section 3

WARNING: don’t let the list making process become procrastination. As soon as you finish making it, take the most important task, and get started on it.

Go with the flow. If you can’t force yourself to focus on the most urgent assignment, start on the assignment you’ll enjoy the most at that moment. If you’re enjoying it, you’re getting shit done. A lot of times, doing that one task is what will get you in the mood to knock out other tasks on the list.

Take breaks. Yeah yeah you hear this one all the time. I know. That’s because it fucking works. You need to take a few minutes of rest, even if it’s just to stretch out really quickly before hitting the next paragraph on that essay. However! Don’t! Let! Yourself! Get! Too! Distracted! While breaks are healthy and beneficial in most cases, I have a tendency to get massively side tracked by social media/Hulu. Grab a snack and some water, go outside for some fresh air, and then get back to work.

Part 2: Self Care

The self care routine for studying: this is one way that I get myself in the mood to study. Be warned, it can easily turn into a procrastination method, so don’t do it if you’re working on a last minute assignment.

Clean your study space. Clear of your desk, open the windows, make sure everything is really neat and tidy. The focus here should be on creating an environment that is conducive to learning.

Diffuse essential oils, burn incense, or light a few candles. When your space smells good, it makes it a lot easier to focus. Aside from this, alot of the oils and such can be really beneficial healthwise. I like using lemon when I need to focus, as well as a lavender and eucalyptus blend when I’m feeling sick or anxious.

Put on some music. Find some shit that really slaps. It just really gets you going. I usually lean towards classical music, jazz, or electronic shit without any lyrics. If I do listen to music with lyrics, it’s usually in a different language, like French or Korean (ARMYs where you at).

Tea! Or Coffee! Whatever floats your boat. If I’m going for the self care routine, I’ll typically make tea because it’s usually more relaxing for me.

Face mask! This one is just for fun, but I always feel 10x better after using a sheet mask or mud mask. Take some time to relax and study.

Take it slow. If you have the ability to study in this manner, aka not rushed as fuck, embrace it. Take your time and really understand the information in front of you. If it’s reading, annotate like crazy. If it’s writing, research and outline to your heart’s content. Enjoy the process. Learn cool shit. If it’s math, whip out a whiteboard and work all that shit out.

Part 3: Last Minute Studying

The next few tips are for when you’ve really fucked yourself over by procrastinating. Now you’re on a massive time crunch. It’s okay babe, take a deep breath; we’re gonna be a-okay.

Let yourself panic. One minute, tops. Any longer than that and you’ll probably spiral. Got it out of your system? Great. Let’s move on.

Know what needs to be done. Understand the parameters of the assignment and make sure you have everything you need. Does your teacher accept late work? If not, can you finish in time? As soon as you know this, sit your ass down and get started.

Don’t fuck around. If it’s an essay, just start typing. Don’t spend too much time on the outline at this point. After you’ve banged out a first draft you can look at structure and all of that. The important thing is that you have the content and your thoughts down on paper. Work on refining them later.

DON’T WORRY ABOUT PRETTY NOTES. If you’re studying last minute for an exam, now is not the time to practice hand lettering. It’s the time to drill as much info into your brain as possible.

Hit up Quizlet. Literally saves my ass at least 3 times a semester. Don’t just passively flip through flashcards either. Take tests, play games, do the reviews, print out sets if it helps to have it on paper.

If writing/typing things over and over is how you learn, do it, but don’t focus on it being neat. Make sure you understand the info and organize it in a manner that makes sense, but don’t spend too much time here. It can also help a lot to learn languages by repetitive writing, especially if they use an alphabet system different from your own.

Listen to notes. If you have recordings of your notes, listen to them. Try to know the info through as many senses as possible. Read them, write them, listen to them. Repetition is key if you need to know something in short time frames.

Embrace the Grind. As hard as it can be to work under so much pressure, you should eventually get into the swing of things. Once you hit that zone, don’t leave it until you’re finished. Limit your breaks, drink coffee (don’t forget water too), and try to finish the project in time.

Part 4: Turning in a late assignment:

Turn it in. I know it can be hard/anxiety inducing to turn in late work, but some points are better than no points.

Apologize to your professor. Let them know a) why it was late and/or b) how sorry you are for the inconvenience. I would do this through email, as well as in person, if possible. It shows that you care about the assignment and their class. Make it as sincere as possible, and hopefully they will accept it.

Come to terms with a lesser grade. If you turn it in late, you’ll probably get some points off, which is usually a fair deal. You had a responsibility to finish an assignment by a given time and for whatever reason you didn’t, thus consequences are inevitable. Just fucking accept the grade you get, as long as the content of your work is graded fairly.

Since you were under such a time crunch, there’s bound to be mistakes. Revise as much as you can, but turn it in as soon as possible. Accept that these mistakes may result in points off as well, but try to avoid really big ones.

AVOID DOING THIS IN THE FUTURE (aka see the first part of this post). Procrastination can be a bitch. Unless there are unavoidable circumstances causing you to do last minute assignments, just stick with trying to manage your time better.

That’s all I’ve got for today! I am a sophomore in college, so while I have some experience, there’s still so much for me to learn. Feel free to add any other tips that work for you as well!

#jaime etudier #studyblr #study tips #studyspo #university #high school

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