#except hes not really mad bc hes a sweet boy. but he writes it for himself!!

[007reid]

u have absolutely no idea what 'coffee caramels' did to me omg 😭 u write spencer and his mannerisms so WELL hsbsghdbdh so i come to u with a lil request if that's okay with u !!

spencer insists on playing pretend-doctor for reader who's sick (but denying it) so he invokes his technically-a-doctor card and gives his second opinion just to take care of reader n smother them w looooove

essentially just him teasing y/n and being the stupid Cute attentive nerd he is <3

(inspired by S5E3 where he gets stuck at the bau w garcia bc he was being stubborn abt his injury)

i am never ever Normal abt this guy 😞 i look forward to reading more of ur work and losing my mind over reid with u, aine !! mwa

hiii tysm for requesting, youre so fucking sweet!! <33 drop an emoji to let me know who you are and let’s loose our mind over our fav boy together anon!!!! also sorry this took so long, i wrote like 3k but then hated it so i started over, i love this prompt sm so i feel like i had to do it justice.

pspspsp i love s5 spence so fucking much... his hair went from beautiful to ethereal to mad sexy...s5 treated us well. requests are ALWAYS appreciated !!!!!!

soup. spencer reid

spencer reid x fem!reader, 3k

you've been off it for so long, dodging virus after virus and disease after disease and just right when you thought that you are immune to sickness, you caught it. the inevitable fever.

there was no denying it, you've tried. after getting a headache, you popped a tylenol before you went to sleep, nonchalant. the next morning was when reality really came crashing down. a sore throat.

it progressively got worse throughout the day, and when you came crashing into bed after a long day at work, your nose was feeling stuffy and your were coughing, spewing sickness everywhere you went. you woke up in the middle of night sweating like you had just ran a fucking marathon and only able to breathe through one nostril unless you shift your body entirely.

you did not take to these news well. firmly in denial, you still planned to show up to work the next day.

except you didn't show up to work. sickly and delirious, the part when you press snooze then snooze again slip your mind and at one point you must've turn off your alarm entirely. drifting in and out of consciousness and slipping into dream after dream, it gets harder to tell what is real and what is not.

"y/n? y/n!"

now, it is very probable that the voice isn’t actually real, because why the hell would you be hearing spencer reid’s voice outside of work? the chances are slim to none, and despite the heat pounding at your skull you manage to smile. there is something unexplainably comforting about spencer’s voice, soft and deliberate. it would be foolish to say that under the mad spell he’d cast on you (him simply saying two words) he’s managed to melt away your headache, because he didn’t. you still feel like shit.

“y/n?”

you frown, the voice sounding too insistent and real and not matching up with the visuals of your dream. you feel a tapping on your shoulder and when you blink your eyes open you could’ve screamed.

you jump up and then backwards, huddling your blanket with you, scared for your life. because right in front of you is perhaps the most intimidating creature on the earth; spencer reid in a purple sweater vest with his face so close to yours he could breathe in your sickness, hair tucked carefully behind his ear.

“spencer?” you ask incredulously, but instead your voice comes out a rasp. you clear your throat, feeling something warm creep up your cheek. it might be a blush, but you blame it on the chills. you keep blinking, trying to regain your vision and feel instantaneous embarrassment. you look a mess, sick and dehydrated with dry lips and bad hair and you probably reek of morning breath. and spencer’s there, looking like heaven’s finest angel, smiling at you like he’s smiling at a person and not a monster. spencer has the tendency to treat and look at everyone like they’re the love of his life. you sort of hate it.

“hi y/n,” he breathes, crouching down on the floor before you on the bed. “i—“

“what are you doing here?” you’re too impatient to wait, still in shock.

now. you try not to make it obvious that you have a mad crush on spencer, because if the fact were to spill, you’re not eager cleaning up the consequences. it’s an unestablished, unspoken rule that should be common sense that no workplace dating will be allowed and usually it’s a ridiculous rule, because who the hell would want to date their coworker, like actually? work crushes are normal but they exist only in a part of your day, an eye-candy for you to stare at to get through the day, then you go home or go out and forget about them. who actually has serious work crushes, actually? actually? it’s ridiculous.

your defense is completely solid, you’d say. your number one defense is you can’t help the fact that you and spencer were meant to be friends. the moment you joined the team, you and spencer clicked together like two lego pieces, despite your clashing personalities. you find it refreshing to have someone like spencer, someone who’s soft and sweet but cunning and resourceful but thoughtful and kind, and it was equally refreshing for spencer to have someone blunt and straightforward but still patient enough to put up with him.

spencer doesn’t like physical touch but ever since your first week he made you the exception and if you could, you would parade the privilege around like a badge. what can you say, you’re proud to be spencer’s little exception, anyone would be. he makes you feel special, differently than the others do and what’s a girl to do? to have that great of a relationship with a coworker and not be work spouses and not be actually head over heels with the guy? how laughable.

it’s not something you’re proud of, however. you know it’s a lost cause, chasing after spencer. it hurts, sometimes, but you always patted yourself on the back with an ‘it is what it is.’ spencer, as sweet and vulnerable as he is, has layers behind his thinly veiled heart. he talks a lot but he never talks about himself and he never talks about the past so he doesn’t have to revive it, so all the memories are just wounds left out and neglected to burn. spencer’s trouble, definitely trouble, but it’s hard to be aware of the workload that spencer reid is when he’s rambling to you about something as innocent as halloween or knocking his knuckles on your knee during a flight trying to get your attention.

spencer blinks sheepishly, settling criss cross apple sauce on the ground, lanky legs twisting uncomfortably. “you didn’t come into work and you didn’t answer your phone,” he explains. “emily told me to go check on you.”

you nod. he’s here because emily told him to. it makes a lot more sense now. “i’ll head in the office now,” you say, making your way out of bed, wiping at your eyes. “sorry—“

“no you’re not,” spencer says immediately, not even hesitating. he places a hand on your upper chest, pressing you back down on the bed. the butterflies at the pit of your stomach throws a fit. you know he means nothing by the action—has spencer reid ever been the one knowledgeable about romance?—but knowing that doesn’t help the heat that spread up your cheeks that’s definitely not from the sickness. “you’re burning up,” he says. “i’ll get you some water. you should clean up,” he says, uncrossing his legs difficultly and then stumbling out the room, mismatched socks slipping on the hardwood floor.

you take advantage of the time that spencer’s not there and race to the bathroom, ignoring the blackout and the dizziness that threatens to make you faint from getting up too abruptly. you squirt some toothpaste onto your toothbrush and by the time you exit the bathroom, spencer is already there, waiting, except he’s by your desk, hands on a book.

typical.

he perks up when he hears your footsteps pad into the room, turning around, looking like a child who’s been caught with your book in his hands. you smile at him, albeit it’s a pathetic smile. you feel dizzy.

“you like toni morrison?”

“i love toni morrison,” spencer chirps, excitement bouncing all over his face. “especially her masterwork, beloved,” he looks back down at your red copy admiringly then sets it down. "get back in bed," he says, and you can't wrap your hand around how ridiculous the situation is. your coworker, or work crush, is at your house, checking your temperature and shooing you to bed to rest. "i bought you soup so you can eat up, i--"

“you bought me soup?” you ask, incredulous. spencer nods seriously.

“it's proven that eating soup makes people feel better, not just some stereotype. the right amount of sodium can help help relieve sore throat pains and the vitamins and minerals found in soup can play a very large part in recovery...i had a feeling you were going to be sick, it’s the weather, you know? everyone is catching the cold. you need to eat it before it gets cold, the heat helps with nasal digestion and also sinus pressure and it'll be useless if you ate it lukewarm...i’ll be right back…” and with the babbling his voice fades out as he walks back out to the living room, leaving you alone standing on the side of your bed. you look at the forgotten copy of beloved set carefully back onto your desk, smiling to yourself slightly before climbing back into bed, because spencer says so and spencer’s always right but mostly because your legs feel like they’re going to give out.

spencer is speedy, striding several steps at once with his ridiculously long legs that looks unnaturally lanky but once he reaches your room again, soup and spoon in hand you were already nodding off, head lolling and eyes slipping shut. spencer stops at your bed stand, thinking to himself for a second before balancing the plastic bowl of soup on one hand and using the other to gently nudge at your face, waking you up. he grimaces when he feels that your skin burns to the touch, a bright tint to your cheeks that he hates himself for liking because you're sick, he shouldn't be thinking that you're pretty or stuff like that.

spencer waves the thought away, determined to focus on his mission. deliver soup, make sure you're okay, and send his farewells. that's what emily told him to do, and even though derek added a "kiss her goodnight too, loverboy!" he's only going to listen to emily, because emily knows best.

yes. perfect. that's exactly what he's going to do.

"hey," he whispers, caressing his thumb across the lightly purple patch under your eye, frowning to himself. you haven't been getting good enough sleep, and he feels guiltier for waking you up, but then straightens himself up resolutely--no. emily said the soup must be delivered and consumed--just to melt again when your eyes flutter open, confused and traces of sleep still floating around your facial expression. "sorry," he mumbles, feeling oddly embarrassed. "it's just--i mean, you don't have to, jus' want you to eat something before you sleep again."

you sit up slowly, and once you're fully awake again, the smell of the soup hits you like a bucket of ice and you suddenly feel your mouth watering. you feel like a princess, sitting there with your hands crossed in your lap while you wait for spencer to unwrap the plastic utensils and tissues from its clear packaging, carefully opening up the lid of the soup on the night stand and hot steam floats around the room, engulfing both you and spencer in a bubble of tomato soup.

spencer, a planner that he is, didn't let you eat directly from the plastic take-out bowl from the restaurant and had rummaged through your kitchen for a bowl and pours half the soup into the ceramic, no spillage and perfectly clean. then he hands the soup to you, and you eat.

to say that spencer is concerned is to say the least. you're a profiler, and you're trained to pick up on this sort of thing but you only need to be a child with an undeveloped brain to work out that spencer's worried, watching your every move and monitoring that you eat enough, the crease in his brows deepen whenever you set the bowl down so you pick it up again and stuff two more spoonfuls in your mouth, to hopefully make him worry less.

the silence is awkward, the only sounds in the room is you biting down on the spoon occasionally as you drink your soup and spencer watching intently, hands on his chin and unaware of his staring problem. you and spencer rarely has these kind of silences, the silences where you scramble for things to say because the atmosphere would always be too comfortable. you sneak glances at him as you eat. since spencer's completely oblivious to the heaviness of the silence, you feel it's up to you to break it.

"i'll clock in once i'm finish eating this, don't worry," you say, trying your best to sound reassuring as you try to choke back a spoonful of soup too big. you lick your lips, and spencer is biting his, a bad habit.

"no you're not, y/n," he says, exasperated. normally, when spencer uses his 'i'm right so you should listen to me' tone like this, it means he's geared for an argument and you would be happy to challenge him, but now you can't find the energy for it. yet you muster enough up anyway.

"i'm only a bit shaken up 'cause of the weather," you say, trying to sound as convincing as possible, still in the calm before the storm of the bicker. "'m not immobile. and i already used up all my off days visiting my family--"

spencer, however, didn't bother for the peaceful offering. "you're not coming in today, y/n," he says, and he sounds a bit anxious but you know his true intent. his eyes are mirthful with confidence, and he knows he's already won the argument. despite the buzzing in your ears and the fuzziness in your brain, you can't let the bastard win. you can't.

“i can’t miss anymore days spencer, and i won’t,” you say coldly, but you slurping on the soup hungrily like it’s your last day on earth sort of ruined your cool facade. “i’m not too sick, either, it’ll be useless for me to stay home—“

spencer reaches to press his palm against your forehead, his skin cold to the touch. you close your eyes instinctively.

“you’re burning up,” he announces. “means your sick. you’re not coming in today, y/n.”

“says who?” you say defensively, feeling a bit like you’re loosing.

“says me,” spencer says cooly, cheeky smile at his lips. you should hate it more than you do. “who’s a doctor.”

you scoff. “so now you’re an actual doctor? you got a medical phd on you?”

“i have a bachelor in medicine and enough doctorates to make me slightly knowledgeable in every field,” spencer quips and you didn’t even know that he had a bachelor in medicine. how many fucking degrees does this guy even have on his resume?

“whatever,” you grumble, sounding a lot like someone who’s just got defeated. you set the bowl of soup down on the nightstand and spencer hands you a bottled water before you could think about needing water. you pluck it from his offering hands, muttering a “thanks” under your breath.

spencer laughs quietly, watching you drink patiently and putting the cap back on when you hand him back the bottle, setting it next to your soup. you feel ridiculously babied and your cheeks burn with the guilt you feel. you’re talking him off his office hours just to be here and feed you stuff and make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

spencer, the 24/7 profiler, notices. "is something wrong?" he asks innocently, round eyes blinking and oblivious. bless him. "you got redder. is it too hot? i can adjust the a/c."

“fine,” you mumble, still a little embarrassed with your realization. “little cold, actually.”

“it's the chills from your fever,” spencer informs you. “i…” he pauses, frowning again, frustrated from not being able to finish his thought. he abandons it. “do you need anything else?”

“no spence,” you laugh sort of pathetically, throat strained. “you’ve been an angel already. you can go back to the office, if you want.”

spencer thinks back to what emily had told him. soup. make sure she’s ok. leave. he’s done the past two steps. it’s time he completes his mission.

but…

“are you sure?” he prods, a little bit of him hoping that you'd say no. he doesn't know what it is; something bothering him, making him dread leaving.

you didn't get the cue. "mhmm," you shoot him a reassuring smile. as reassuring as you can manage, anyway, grimacing at the insistent throb in your head. spencer gnaws on his bottom lip, indecisive. you don't know what he was deciding between.

whatever battle it was, he wraps it up quick. "okay," he repeats. "i'll get back."

"you do that."

"remember to drink water."

"i will."

"do you need me to bring you more?"

"i'm okay."

"okay."

"okay."

the conversation feels incomplete and spencer isn't interested to complete it, booting out the door, except he lingers for a bit and awkwardly turns around, hand on the frame. you are already looking at him when he looks at you.

you and spencer are never this awkward, never this hesitant and strange. the tension that suffocates your room feels like signature first-date-tension, the kind of nervous excitement and tip-toeing blind lovers and uncertainty.

"are you sure?"

i'd rather you stay. you push the response away. "i am."

"you have medicine right?"

you do have medicine. for a brief moment, you want to lie about it; want to say that you ran out this morning and then he would run to the store for you and return and then spend more time in your insufferable, sickly presence. you brush the thought away within a second. never in a million years do you want to bother spencer, especially not with a thing as selfish as that. maybe it's because of your biased vision but spencer is looking like he's desperate to leave, practically screaming for outlet at the door. it's time you let him go and indulge in the worst sleep you'll ever have.

"yeah," you say, clearing your throat. "i do."

"okay," spencer says. "i'll go."

"thanks," you add awkwardly. "for the soup. and for coming."

"'course" spencer says absentmindedly, lingering at the door frame but not looking at you in particular, not looking at anything. he snaps back and sends you a wave. spencer has a power to him where everything he does looks unplanned, like he's doing it against his own will.

he leaves. if you had change your mind and ask for him to come back, for him to stay, he would've. no hesitation. but you didn't, and he wiggles back in his broken in converses and return back to the bau with no elevator partner.

maybe another day.

a/n: sorry for the ending, this was getting too long so i had to cut it short 😓😓but i think it's kinda fitting! lmk if you guys want a part 2 <3

#spencer reid #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #matthew gray gubler #mgg #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #my works

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

the thing about rachel animorphs being terribly characterized in all her ghostwritten books but one (and even that one is like. it's not amazing rachel narration but it DOES have the most romantic plot of all time so i forgive it*) to a degree that none of the other characters are plagued by is that to me it feels very revealing about us as a Culture bc it's like. the thing about rachel is that she is a hot blonde who kicks ass. and she's also a complex individual with many sides to her, including (i think if you read her non ghost written books and even just the slice of her narration we get before she dies in the last book this really jumps out undeniably) an extremely real and tender strain of sweetness. and this comes out in some of her scenes in books narrated by other characters. but in her own books, where she's narrating, it's like, they simply cannot understand the assignment, when the assignment is "hot kickass blonde but make her also a real person." it's like that old toast essay about getting insanely obsessed with ophelia because the alternative was admitting that a man needs to be as talented as shakespeare to write a sad girl who's also a human being except it's you have to be as good as k. a. applegate (the shakespeare of monthly mass market paperback children series) to write a girl who is hot and awesome and a human being.

*the most romantic plot of all time is that they have to acquire a beached sperm whale to go down under the water and attempt to subdue a giant squid so that the whole squad can acquire it so they can go deal with the problem on the ancient submerged spacecraft that's fucking up their allies the chee (androids created by the now extinct race of aliens who invented dogs). anyway so rachel hates water because she hates things she can't control and her coping mechanism for dealing with fear is walking into it head on so she wants to be one of the whales precisely because of how badly she doesn't want to be one of the whales (overall her characterization in this book i do think is solid, just the Tone is not quite 100% in her voice IMO), so when they're drawing straws she makes eyes at tobias to use his hawk vision to tell her what's the short straw, and he's like "no i am not going to help you drown yourself on purpose" and she makes eyes at him harder and then he's like "ugh fine" and tells her, and then he draws the other short straw on purpose even though he hates water more than anything but not for rachel control freak reasons, it's because he's a bird and the containment of water freaks him the hell out and also when he demorphs out in the ocean it's not into a shape that can, like, doggie paddle. which first of all is soooo funny and also good rachel characterization because rachel is like constitutionally incapable of thinking ahead for 5 seconds to "obviously the boy who loves me who would love me anyway but for whom i am like literally his primary tie to humanity because he lives as a red tailed hawk and spends his days perched in his trees hunting small mammals is going to insist on coming with me on the scary underwater squid mission just like every other time i have done anything ever" and also because jake gets super fucking mad at her about it which is like getting mad at a fish for swimming. but then the best part is they're down there and both spooked to hell about it because the deep sea is crazy scary and because, again, THEY BOTH HATE THIS CONCEPT SO BAD and are only here because of rachel's psychological problems and true love. and while trying to get their minds off the skin-crawling nightmare of it rachel lets it slip that some dude asked her out and they have this AMAAAZING back and forth where they're both being incredibly snotty because of how they are totally in love and also little babies who have just barely started acknowledging this to themselves much less each other which means that even though they can go on a terrifying deep sea adventure alien war side quest date they are still insanely awkward about like-liking each other. tobias learns the guy's name is T. T. and asks if that stands for total trauma and rachel's like idk what it stands for and he's like well you should find out his name if you're going out with him and rachel's like well i'm not and tobias is like oh. and then they find a squid. it's incredible. then at the end of the book T. T. comes around while rachel's at gymnastics and flirts with her again and rachel basically tells him to fuck off and he calls her "a name i've been called before" because swearing between the lines was an important part of animorphs and then tobias who is watching this whole thing from the sky is like "hey he was cute. and i heard what he called you. cute AND perceptive" and rachel's like "oh shut up (affectionate)" and they go have a flying date together. like literally when will your faves. they ARE the blueprint. sometimes i feel insane for as an adult still finding something genuinely romantic in a pairing from a 90s monthly mass market series for children, but like what other kidlit saga has ever included a tragic dreamboat boyfriend affectionately teasing his girlfriend about what a total bitch she is in a way that genuinely works as a cute thing to do because she and we both know that he literally loves her partly BECAUSE she has no problem being an asshole to people who deserve it and also is so good at killing people? like hello!!!!!!!!!

#topics on which i've hit tumblr paragraph limit: #brad pitt sucks; i think some dracula post but i don't remember which one; why rachel/tobias from animorphs is the OTP of all time #sure. yeah. whatever. #animorphs

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

covey, need ur help girl. (even maybe someone else can help!!)

okay so TECHNICALLYY, I have this bff. lets call him jess. jess has a girlfriend right? of two years (almost three holy). and she HATES ME, like actually despises me and prays on my downfall every single day, i’m sure and I do too!! bc tell me why shes treating the boy that kisses the ground she walks on like pure shit. jess gets her flowers, is late to class for her, ignores his parents rules and gets in trouble DAILY for her, and she does NOTHING FOR HIM EXCEPT GET MAD AT HIM?? LIKE WHAT?? but anyway..

me and jess are close, known eachother since 8th grade!! so its been a while. and i’m barely now getting specifically why she must hate me. jess Is a naturally sweet and charming guy, is what he considers himself, and I totally agree on the sweet. matter of fact too sweet (hoizer reference😋) to almost everyone.

now, i mean he’s VERY SWEET. the type of guy to write you a paragraph and play it off as a joke and brush it off two weeks into knowing him, the type of guy to tell you ‘this reminds me of you’ everytime he goes out, reads smth, or does smth. the type of guy to treat you like you belong on top of the fucking world, even the type of guy to swear on the styx for you. you get the idea. the problem? hes only like that with me. (and obvi his gf) but it creeps me out in a way that its only me? the constant sex jokes he makes to me and then tells me he has pics of his gf panties the next is CRAZY. (while calling me sweetheart and peach?? what?) so i spoke to him about it! he js said he was just glad to have met me, and considers me to be the best person hes ever met and feels comfortable around me!! okay! sweet!! he said he’d stop!! and he hasn’t!!’ WHAT DO I DO NOW? IM FREAKING ABOUT THIS PROBABLY MORE THAN I SHOULD BUT I NEED A SOLUTION BECAUSE IF TALKING TO HIM DOESNT HELP, WHAT NOW?? PLS SOMEONE HELP MEE

(i was NOT kidding… OR IS THIS NORMAL? AM I JS NOT USED TO THIS?? SOMEONE HELP.)

help has arrived girl

okay firstly im so proud i read all of that that was a fucking struggle but then i got sucked in bc what do you mean hE TALKS TO YOU ABOUT HIS GF'S UNDERWEAR???? LIKE SIR???? AFTER HE WAS BEING SWEET TO YOU??? NO BAD

honestly, it's really concerning that he's not listening to what you're saying. like, if you brought it up with him that this makes you uncomfy and he still continues to do it, it leaves me wondering what else he'd do while ignoring your requests...ya know?

also the gf shouldn't be treating her bf like that, full stop. it's giving calypso and leo which is icky

but also...i trust this guy about as far as i can throw him (though i don't know him so take that with a grain of salt). it's giving 'nice guys always finish last uwu' vibes and im NOT a fan.

but i also don't know what else you could do??? like you already tried talking to him and that didn't work idk idk.

maybe, try having another conversation with him???? ig????? i legit have no idea what else, guys send help to my pookie in the comments pls and thanks!!

also, just saying this for everyone,

JUST BECAUSE HE'S NICE AND SWEET AND SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS DOESN'T MEAN HES A GOOD GUY

#return to sender ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ

[pjmparadise]

a comforting friend | jimin drabble

・✧・┈┈・✦・┈┈・✧・

Pairing: Jimin x Reader 

Genre: fluff!, a bit of angst, friend!Jimin au, established friendship au, hopelessly in love jimin, clueless reader sigh

Rating: 18+ only

Warnings: pining Jimin, longing (yeah this is an actual warning)

Summary: There is not much else he’d want except you.

Word count: 600ish (drabble)

A/N: this was totally random, the idea came to me the other night, and i wanted to write something short and sweet and a little angsty bc that’s who i am!! anyway, here’s Jimin being an angel, sweet boy, and so helplessly in love with you (he's down terrible i fear.) it is for a mature audience because I am an adult and would like to only interact with anyone over the legal age, so thank you for being here and reading my work!! let me know if you liked it <33 your kind words make me swoon :]

・✧・┈┈・✦・┈┈・✧・

Jimin watches you make your way across the room toward him. You saunter, frowning and holding your hand to your forehead. He feels the corners of his lips tug down, mirroring your expression of all evening. “Come here,” he says, motioning his hand at you towards his lap. He sits silent and unmoving, his gaze never leaving you.

You sigh deeply, approaching him. He stares at you as you close your eyes, beginning to recount your story. Begrudgingly, he listens. His chest hollows out, and he feels his stomach sink at the mention of a kiss taking place. Still, he offers you a smile, nodding at you to continue despite the perspiration in the palm of his outstretched hand and the sick feeling of emotional turmoil closing in on him; he swallows hard at the saliva in his throat. He’s overcome with a need to double over in absolute agony.

Oblivious to an antagonized Jimin in front of you, you resume your story. Unsparing of the harsh details that don’t mean much to you but cut through Jimin with ease. “It was so…” you sigh, plopping on the couch alongside him. Annoyed at the memory of your abysmal date, you curl into Jimin’s side. His heart begins to thump viciously in his chest, and he looks at you, startled. “Can you hold me?”

Of course, he can. There is not much else he’d want except you. Jimin wraps his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin. Timidly, he places small kisses on your head. “I’m sorry the date wasn’t any good. I know he went home mad at himself for screwing up,” he offers, caressing your hair, his gaze glassy and distant. His mind is elsewhere, wondering what it’d feel like to be seen as something else but a friend, wondering how it’d feel to be deeply loved by you; he doesn’t notice you shifting underneath him and craning your neck to look at his perplexed expression.

“You okay, Jimin?”

“Yes, sorry,” his cheeks burn, and he wonders how long he’d spaced out for. “You look very pretty, by the way. Your hair is soft.”

You scrunch your nose at him, smiling. “You’re just being nice.”

“I mean it, though.” He chews the inside of his lip, feeling his heartbeat in his throat. He’s biting back the urge to say more. The words suffocate him, a prolonged confession waiting to be released.

You sigh, stretching out your legs. “I wish everyone understood and saw me like you do,” you murmur, clutching his arm to your chest.

Jimin can feel your heart beating in your chest, the feeling coming to him in slow timely thuds, nothing compared to the quick pace of his chest at the mere closeness of your touch. “What happened?” He wonders.

“Do you really want to know?” You quirk an eyebrow at him though he can’t see it.

“Yes,” he lies.

“He didn’t offer to pay for me. He didn’t compliment me, and I got my hair done today,” you pout, turning on your side. Your cheek is now pressed against his lap, earning a flustered sigh from Jimin. “I really thought it would be good. He was so nice through chat,” you add, frowning.

Jimin runs his fingers through your hair, an ache about him as his eyes flutter at the sight of you in his lap. He’s quiet, but his mind is askew. The words he can’t bring himself to say are entangled in every corner of his brain. Instead, he hums a song you like, shifting your gloomy expression. Suddenly, you burst through his thoughts: “Jimin?”

“Yeah?” His heart pace quickens.

“I love you.” You hug his arm, planting a kiss on his wrist.

“I love you too,” he drawls with a dreamy air. He watches how your side rises and falls with each breath you take. “I want you to be happy,” he adds, running his fingers through your hair.

“I am happy with you,” you reply, smiling, eyes closing.

“I am, too,” he whispers. And briefly, he longs to take your face in his hands and kiss you but instead, he swallows hard at the saliva in his throat, clenching his jaw as he presses a tender kiss to your temple. 

#jimin fluff #bts fluff #jimin imagines #jimin fanfic #jimin oneshot #jimin drabble #bts angst #bts fluff . #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #jimin fic #bts fanfic #bts imagine #jimin imagine #sweet jimin #bestfriend jimin #bts drabble #bts scenarios #jimin scenarios

[khaleesiofalicante]

idk why but i was soooo with lance during the whole interaction between arthur and lance bc arthur really doesnt seem to understand teh effect of what he did that it had on his family and his brother. like i am all about loving kincaid but arthur screwed up biiiiiiiig time with his family... oooohhh you are so goood dani, a perfect conundrum for us, also i liked what rafael did , but i still want to see some biiiig apologies going on between him and max bc of all the suffering max went thro with not a fucking consolation or few words from rafael. sooo i am team present max, also i really dont liked other max no matter what happened i would understand that, but present max is my bias in this shitshow. also this lance boy is a bit stupid when it come sto david. STOP HURTING THAT POOR BOY (it cld mean the whole LB fam rn except arthur)

It's a very challenging thing to write tbh - with Arthur - because it's part of his personality, you see. He doesn't get that what he is doing is dangerous or have consequences. He is incredibly young and he has such a sweet personality that his mind is always "it will be okay" and "I can fix this" and "everyone can be good" etc. He really is an innocent like that and that's why I personally find it difficult to be mad at him (Even if I am very frustrated).

"that lance boy is a bit stupid when it comes to david" SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE PANDEMONIUM

#lbaf

[hostilemuppet]

okay so I’ve never seen HTF but I want to know who all the characters are cuz they seem cool and also I wanna know which ones you’re talking about. and I think it’d be fun to ask you that. so like, feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to, but here is an excuse to infodump about every HTF character and who they are and what they do

you dont know how much this ask means to me. i will be dumping all my thoughts about the characters (not all of them just the ones i think about the most) under the cut so im not ruining everyones day. some of the things might not necessarily be """"true"""" but are extrapolated from what IS true and there hasnt been an episode since 2016 so it basically belongs to the fans now sorry graff if only you accepted flakys gender

cuddles! semi-official mascot of the show. star of a fall out boy music video. hes rowdy and reckless and likes to pull pranks and be a general nuisance, but is still really cute so its hard to stay mad at him. usually either seen with toothy (best friend) or giggles (sometimes girlfriend sometimes friend).

giggles! referred to in out-of-show texts as "shy and sweet" but is one of the more sociable characters, being the go to girl for when the writers need to write a romance. has been romantically involved with cuddles, russell, flippy, the mole and cro marmot. she also swoons over splendid a few times. bc of this shes typically characterised as being boy crazy, if not slutshaming her which is an INSANE thing to do to a pastel pink chipmunk. she also cares a lot about protecting the environment and loves animals! shes a sweetie. when not treated as "token female character for a romance plot" shes usually with cuddles or petunia (her best friend)

toothy! imma be real with you. he does NOT have a personality. the tv series was mostly dedicated to fleshing characters out and giving them a personality (since thats hard to do in 2 minute shorts) and he is the ONLY character that didnt get a starring role. bc of this he tends to be mostly ignored by the fandom (he can be drawn next to cuddles and thats it) and i personally like to take his "lack of personality" to mean hes just. a normal guy. hes got a 401k he doesnt have time for all this death and dismemberment. hes also canonically had plastic surgery on his tail. is usually seen with cuddles or sniffles.

flaky! technically one of the most popular characters but is insanely mischaracterised to the point its basically a different character. was originally designed to be a male character but is generally accepted as a female one, the creators still have mixed opinions on it so id say their gender is ????????. is sporty, collects baseball cards, doesnt take care of their personal hygiene as well as they should, is allergic to peanuts. is a COWARD, theyre the only one who acknowledges how dangerous the world they live in is. they are one of the few characters to kill flippy bc they are terrified of him and their fight or flight instinct is unusually strong. typically seen with cuddles bc cuddles is brave and flaky is a coward.

nutty! you can tell from his design but this fellas obsessed with candy and all things sugar! seeking out sweets and treats is usually his downfall. in the episode false alarm its actually treated as an addiction he gets help for, and then immediately replaces with an addiction to video games. hes a gamer! but he goes back to normal by the end of the episode bc its a cartoon. in sucker for love he gets so into his obsession with sweets he fantasises about falling in love with various confectioneries. he gets a box of chocolates pregnant. yes i have to live with this every single day of my life. is usually seen with sniffles.

handy! as you can probably tell he is one of my ultra faves. hes a handyman / carpenter / architect / whatever the episode calls for that has had both arms amputated, either by the wrist or elbow depending on the episode but i go by elbow. hes a dude with a 'tude, except the 'tude is justified bc everyone in town is an asshole towards him and his disability. is probably THE most unlucky character in the show bc even when he doesnt die (or his death isnt the focus and happens briefly off screen) bad things still happen to him (in double whammy flippy offers him a foam finger, in see ya later elevator he asks them to hold the door of the lift for him but they let it close on him, in a change of heart he dies off screen before the episode even starts so they can have a heart donor and he is the ONLY PERSON TO DIE in the whole episode 😭 do you know how rare that is???). dislikes basically everyone around him bc they are, as i mentioned, assholes, and rarely cares when others get hurt or die (he even laughs when cuddles loses both of his arms in the wrong side of the tracks) but the two people he likes are petunia (his girlfriend) and the mole (his best friend, was his roommate in one episode). is usually seen with mole or lumpy.

the mole! or just mole in later episodes (they dropped the "the" fsr). hes a blind mole with a mole on his face who used (currently is? i usually see it as a past thing but theres no way to really know tbh) to be a spy, so. triple mole! you love to see it. is also blind, bc yk hes a mole, and is frequently given hobbies or activities that require. vision. usually has very little problem unless the episode calls for something funny to happen. is responsible for a lot of peoples deaths and while its generally accepted he cant tell whats going around him, in wipe out he knows his actions caused handy pain and he does his best to fix it, so he DOES know when hes hurting people but just doesnt care unless its someone he cares about. sadistic king what a legend we LOVE a lack of empathy this is why hes handys bestie. is usually seen with handy or lumpy.

petunia! shes a skunk with very VERRRRRRY bad ocd, hence the air freshener around her neck and the flower on her head; she wants to be clean and smell sweet or she freaks out! her starring ep of the tv series wishy washy was all about her ocd being triggered and her having a real bad time about it and as someone with ocd it is GREAT. idc if "ocd haver freaking out about germs" is """"problematic"""" she is just like me fr. shes also the only character on the show to commit suicide and bc of that the latter half of wishy washy is the only episode mondo do not have on their yt channel! she does it like no other. but she is very nice, and she was the first to reach out to lammy when she moved in (even tho it didnt end well for anyone involved). is usually seen with giggles bc as much as it pains me to say it sometimes the show sees her as nothing more than "girl #2" so shes paired with girl #1, but other than giggles she is seen with a lot of different characters a couple times each so when you think about it shes got a wide social circle you go girl

#text #htf

[cinyanmon]

Ooooh valid valid points all around🙏🏻 Great point was brought up regarding the Blossom being a trophy thing cause why are her sisters, who would arguably be just as beautiful as she is, not be viewed the same way?🤔 Is it because y’all can’t stand the women you give great power to to give them more personality than “oo she’s a girlboss everyone wants her oh hmm what makes her great? idk but girlboss!”? Now now every time I read fics like these where she’s completely idolized all I think of is that one scene from the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie of the Chippetes, where the green and purple one are pushed waaayyy behind the pink one so she can take center stage and they’re just back up dancers. It’s a little funny comparison I’m sorry but that’s how I see these types of fics portraying the girls dynamic. The show emphasized them needing each other and the fics will flip that and have Bubbles and Buttercup be essentially useless (you know, because Blossom has every single power ever and is somehow also much stronger than both of them at the same time because logic) just to give Blossom this moment where she’s this unattainable force that’s so hot and everyone wants her and aaaa her comes the pervert who’ll treat her like a trophy! But it’s okay because who else wouldn’t you know? Oh except Brick and Boomer, the only respectful people ever, because Boomer is too irrelevant and in love with Bubbles to do anything and Brick is Mr. Grumpy Over-Protective Pants and he would never(!!) be so rude to the trophy Blossom!! It’s also like, why do you feel the need to bring down and sometimes even demonize her sisters just to give Blossom her moment? Bubbles would just be sweet and in love with Boomer, BC would just be mad and different and Not Like Blossom™️, and then Blossom would be little miss perfect who’s never done anything wrong ever. Oh and they’d be completely useless without her because she knows everything and the fact that they were also smart means nothing because now they’re stupid and barely pass their classes you know? It’s just so much misogyny used here to simply justify the foundation of a relationship that’ll be just as difficult to read because the characters are too stiff and boring😭 ugh there’s so much to say here but in conclusion the show is called PowerPuff Girls so maybe let’s not put the girls down for the sake of boys who showed up for like 3 episodes, yeah?

DAMN THIS IS A WHOLE ESSAY

no for real and there's really not much for me to add onto what you or @milksteaki said because yall said everything. and it really sucks when you notice how the fanfiction you loved reading as a kid turns out to be pretty sexist. And now that im older, im never gonna stand for that shit anymore and i will rly look down upon that.

and i want to disclaim that yes, the rrb are actually sexist and writers CAN write them as such!! (because that was their whole effing thing as characters) but writers have to realize that its not something to glorify or to brush over. if the boys are sexist, then GIVE THEM CONSEQUENCES FOR BEING SO. the ppg would NEVER stand for that shit and shut it down immediately or in other ways

also LMAO the alvin and the chipmunks metaphor bruhhhh those movies were my childhood and yes, they did try to push britney as like... the best chippette and push the other 2 in the back (that was literally the plot of the 2nd movie). and i can see the resemblance to the ppg with blossom kinda being the main focus in most ppg/rrb fics. i cant believe im discussing alvin and the chipmunks lore but you know what... of course i would

#10 years of being in this fandom does this to you asfhdugfd #why are we still here... just to suffer #ask #anon

[ziracona]

The thing about Cosmos in the Lostbelt is that the reason Lostbelt 1 was so good, and every Lostbelt since 1 has fallen so short is really simple. It’s that Higashide looked at the setup and went, “Oh okay. I get this. I write tragedies. I understand what this means” (and he also doesn’t have the ethics of used diaper). LB1 went “the tragedy is that, the conflict is, the story, the core is, that instigators aside for the moment, everyone else living inside a Lostbelt did nothing wrong, and neither did the original timeline. They’re just regular people. But against their say or input, they are now caught in a story where only one world, one timeline, can exist, and any timeline existing means the death of the others. There’s no going back. And it’s not about who deserves to live; they all do. It’s about the tragedy that they all can’t. You aren’t evil for trying to save your own timeline, and the natives of each Lostbelt aren’t evil for fighting for theirs. It’s just sad. And you all have to fight for the people who can’t, and pray you win, while they pray they win, and any victory will be one you or whoever wins can never get over, but that’s the way it is now. It’s a tragedy. It’s not a story about heroes and self righteousness, it’s about perseverance and love and inevitability and loss. And assigning meaning to loss.

And every Lostbelt since has been like “Uhhhhhh what’s the conflict?? We simultaneously have to like, have enough to object to to be the good guys, but enough good the opponent can monologue about how they’re the good guy who deserves to win? We need to argue original earth deserves to be gone because some people were bad?? To make conflict right? The conflict is who is more righteous, right? It’s about who deserves to live, right?? It’s The Universe’s Next Top Timeline, right? I only understand really repetitive superhero media it’s all I know.” So we end up with like, the game and characters trying to say ‘the absolute cultural genocide and colonization and fascism is great because uhhh there aren’t wars now that everyone is assimilated and rebellions all get killed, which makes it superior to real life where the world isn’t perfect.’ Or ‘this place just lost its despot and hasn’t had a war in these last 3 minutes ergo these humans won’t be normal like all humans are and fall into conflict again and this will be a peaceful paradise how dare you challenge it?’ Or ‘this place where humans get treated like livestock is actually soooo soft and sweet bc they’re raised to like being treated this way : )” and it makes it unbelievably enraging to play. Like, LB1 is the only one so far even to narratively place rebels in the world as the goodguys instead of arguing some fascist regime is great (not counting LB4 rebels bc they really skimmed the issues too much to count in either direction).

Anyway it’s gross but it’s also so fucking depressing, because Lostbelt 1 was SO good, and it had such a fascinating premise, and was so good, but no writer since seems to even realize what made it noteworthy. Like, from the start you got native inhabitants POV with Patxi, and repeatedly the entire story did, and their world and the citizens mattered, and ever since you barely get a blip of inhabitants, the big losers and people who actually matter and have things at stake, and only give time to heroic spirits that usually are awful bastards like Quin Shi Huang and get to escape anyway if the Lb ends, for just sooo much super fight drama™️, or Crypter drama. Like they just throw you A Child™️ you know nothing about except they’re CuTe so you feel soooo guilty. But they don’t even work to make them a person with a character. Like LB2 and 4s little girls and LB3s little boy could easily be the same person. And it makes me so upset and mad we could have had it all but the writers suck and I want to beat them up with my fists.

#cosmos in the lostbelt #fate go #fate grand order #cosmos in the lostbelt spoilers #but nobody else knows ethics or how to write tragedy. all they know is self righteous posturing Stan Imperialism and Suck

[captainhongjoong]

thoughts on sweet home season 2 (spoilers!!)

this is gonna sound whiney but that's just because i love this show a lot and my expectations were really high

the pacing this season was so bad imo like the first two or three episodes were so intense, everything was important and there was no time to get over the last thing that happened, but when it got to the episodes that were mostly about the camp/bunker/whatever it got so boring. i didn't care about any of those people because they were either completely flat or they just didn't really have room in the story to make sense or be interesting. except junil my boy who was done SO wrong

hyunsu just fucked off for most of the season? the main character of the series? the best guy? i don't know if this was because of a schedule conflict w song kang or whatever and i don't care

i actually completely forgot about ms. im (?) until i was just looking at the cast to check something. ??? what ever happened to her after she just appeared naked and slimy. there are so many things like that that they just threw in and then never spoke of again

the very end of the season seemed like it was trying to throw two big plot twists at us but it was stuff we already knew? like it was pretty obvious? but they were still like :o the slime monster that takes people's bodies was sangwon the whole time!!! and the lava ceiling monster was eunhyuk!!!!! like yeah. lol. idk it just seemed anticlimactic i mean it was cool to actually see eunhyuk but it wasn't a surprise like it seemed like it was meant to be

speaking of eunhyuk though i am excited because tbh i didn't like him in s1 and i didn't like eunyu either but eunyu was a lot more interesting in s2, so hopefully he'll be better in s3

i also really like mushroom girl but i'm pretty sure that's not how mushrooms work. i mean i could be wrong i don't have any experience + tbf i've never seen a kdrama that knew what drugs did

not to be a sungcheol stan but i miss sungcheol so bad. i don't wanna complain about sangwook as sangwon, because i do think he's cool and his actor has done a really good job, i just wish sungcheol could have stayed longer. bc i love him but also bc there's something cunty about sangwon that sangwook just doesn't have as much

also where is the baby monster??

also i kinda feel dumb like maybe i'm missing something about yikyung? i don't understand why she's sticking to the all monsters have to die thing so hard that it's literally fundamental to her as a person. i feel like she should've been the first to understand that not all monsters are bad. like everybody else is on board with this by now. but her as a monster is so cool i can't be that mad about it

also where is that lady's dog?

anyway i guess s3 will be like... monster squad (hyunsu, eunhyuk, yikyung, yikyung's daughter + eunyu for some reason) vs. sangwon and the military i guess. i still don't really care about the military stuff but yikyung vs. sangwon? yes

eta i forgot to complain about netflix. i am fully a hypocrite bc i really love this bundle of shows that are kind of connected - squid game, alice in borderland, sweet home, all of us are dead, maybe hellbound too - but something i like about kdramas is that the story is almost always intended to be told in one season, and that often requires good storytelling. netflix doesn't care about this, it feels like they're just throwing stuff at the wall and whatever sticks makes it to s2 or s3 or whatever until they get bored and cancel it. it's bad writing and it's disrespectful to the people who actually enjoy the story. it's kind of like, idk, releasing video games that aren't finished but sure are expensive. i don't think it's too much to ask for them to have a plan before they start a series

it's way past my bedtime so i can't be held to any of the opinions expressed here. except i miss sungcheol i always miss sungcheol

[tendercoretroglodyke]

actually jack's self-insert riverdale fanfic isn't even like reader/archie it's HIM/archie. he doesn't write "Y/N" in the fic he writes "Jack". HE'S archie's bf not you!!! go write ur own fic if u wanna be archie's bf so bad >:(

#except hes not really mad bc hes a sweet boy. but he writes it for himself!! #he still publishes it of course and he gets nice comments bc its fun and creative #w the monster hunting AU thing #people are like 'hey i like your jack OC!! really creative of u to have a monster hunter OC who's actually so precious :)' #n jack's just like 'thanks its me!!' #jack rates it T for teen even tho it just has hand holding and a kiss on the cheek #mostly just bc he wants to feel grown up by writing teen-rated fanfic ❤

[cinnamonest]

Misogyny/Sexism kink HCs/Fem darling HCs

This specifically is from a very long while back but, I’ve gotten a lot of similar asks over time for HCs for the kink for different characters. I started this post ages, forgot about it, and was going through my drafts and realized I never completed this one, so I went ahead and finished the unfinished ones and added newer characters too.

You ever make  something and then look at it like... huh, I really made this atrocity exist didn't I... I am responsible for these words... I will face judgement for them one day. I will answer to God for what I've created with no excuse for the sin I've wrought into the world. Neat!

This turned out to be more like gender-based HCs in general and attitudes towards fem darling but they're still awful and toxic and all those other wonderful things❤️ I made the more pleasant ones a bit shorter and the more awful they get the longer the entries get. But this all revolves around the kink in general. In case this, God forbid, somehow ends up searchable despite being untagged, and since this is probably the most sensitive kink I write for, just a reminder/warning to those that stumble onto this/aren't into it: this is entirely fiction. I don't believe or promote any of the values, beliefs, or practices mentioned here.

//misogyny (like seriously, that is the focus of this post, this is bad, you have been warned), noncon, lots of correlations between sex and physical identifiers/traits, yandere/noncon/kidnapping mentions, super toxic behaviors, mentions of cheating (from third parties/cheating fears regarding darling, not from the boys), pressuring/guilting into sex, psychological complexes for Albedo & Scara, pseudoscience, mentions of PMS/periods, victim blaming, gaslighting, manipulation, abusive tendencies, forced impreg/breeding

//also a LOT of slutshaming, since that's a core element of the kink, so be warned there's also a lot of discussion of a slut!darling with high promiscuity.

Under a cut for length (and to preserve what little sense of dignity I have left).

--------------

     Bennett, Gorou, Thoma, and Chongyun do the same thing where they're like. Over the top on making sure they're doing things the 'right way,' traditionally speaking. Like will accidentally trip you and knock stuff over bc they're in a rush to get to the door to hold it for you before you reach it. That sort of thing. Noooo don't try to pay for anything!! You're not supposed to do that!! Don't carry anything heavy, they're supposed to get it for you!! It's kinda sweet until it becomes obnoxious... like sir, I can perform basic tasks for myself please stop trying to help me.

They're the type to get mad at another guy for saying something bad and try to defend you. "All women are queens" type of boys, but so far it goes in the opposite direction and becomes almost demeaning because of the uncomfortable pedestal they put you on. Truly little white knights, bless them. They want to be respectful to the best of their ability.

-

Bennett goes heavier on the "noooo let me do that" thing. Poor adventuring partner. What CAN you do? He says he has to go into the dungeon first, it could be dangerous! No don't open the chest what if something jumps out at you? Let him fight the enemy, you just stand back, don't worry, he'll take care of it! You're just too fragile to have to do any of that stuff yourself, he could never sit back and let you do it, that would be wrong of him! What, let you make the FIRE? You could get burned! Besides, he can do it so much easier, vision and all.

This can backfire, very easily, because it's... him. No, let him carry the big heavy box, he could never just sit back and make you do that! Except that when he takes it out of your hands, he trips and breaks the entire thing. He insists on lighting the fire, only for it to start to rain in the process. He opens the chests, but they're always near-empty. But no matter how many times this continues to backfire, he will never stop insisting on doing things himself. He wants to feel useful! Is that really so bad? You'd break his heart if you ever pointed it out... like, he's aware of it nonetheless, but hearing you say it out loud forces him to come to terms with it.

 Also, keep in mind he's getting all his dating advice from his elderly dads. They're teaching him to do stuff that was normal decades ago, so expect a lot of overly-chivalrous behaviors, which he will rush to perform like his life depends on being able to hold that door for you, or give you his jackets and coats if it's cold, that sort of thing. To the point it honestly gets annoying, bless his heart, but given his sweet nature, you try to swallow the irritation at first, can't bring yourself to be mad... but that only encourages him.

 -

 Thoma in particular pedestalizes girls as a whole. He is that boy that thinks you're super capable, you can do anything a guy can do... and he feels the need to... remind you of that, all the time. You all know the type. Almost as if he wants to be recognized for being "good," wants his 'brownie points'... although realistically, he's looking for a more physical reward.

 Yes, that being said... our boy is down bad, he desperately needs his balls drained and will shamelessly try to obtain it. Thus, he also tends to have the sort of "being nice -> pussy" mentality, where he feels like if he just does enough nice things, eventually he'll get to put his dick in you. So much so that he goes overboard, makes you uncomfortable with the sheer number of gifts and acts of service being given to/done for you. The more desperate he gets, the more he lays on the "niceness," but it becomes very obvious very quickly exactly what he's so nice for. Not that he's consciously thinking so, he really, genuinely does also just naturally want to make you happy, but it would be a lie to say there isn't a significant portion of his brain being controlled directly by his dick. But he does everything with respect! He breaks into your room (respectfully), spies on you changing or showering (respectfully), takes every opportunity to let you go in front of him up stairs out of chivalry and respect, and may just take the opportunity to get a glance upward if you're wearing a skirt/dress (respectfully), drugs your drinks and food so you pass out and he can finally put his dick in you (respectfully!)... you get the idea.

 So yes, he's one of those guys that takes pride in being good. Granted, he's still a very humble person overall, but sometimes he seems to be a little too eager to remind you how much he respects you and is super chivalrous to you... like, almost as if he's not-so-subtly begging for something in return, which doesn't take a genius to figure out what that might be. I mean, in his mind, he's followed all the right steps, this is totally the part where you practically leap into his bed right?? If not, he keeps trying for a while... over and over. But to be honest, if it goes on long enough, he can get frustrated. Like, not that you don't totally have autonomy and all that, no, he'd never be entitled or anything like that! It's just that... since he's done so many nice things for you, it does kinda logically follow that he deserves something for it, don't you think? Not that he's saying you have to do anything for him! No, no, it's not like that at all. You don't have to do anything... it would just be really nice, you know, since he has done so much for you... no pressure.

 -

 To be fair, yin energy is associated with femininity, so, perhaps Chongyun reasons that in order to offset his yang energy issues, he needs a constant supply of it... logical thought process says he needs a sweet girl to have attached at the hip, to carry around like a good luck charm! So uh... he respects the independent girls and all, but maybe you, specifically, would be really well suited to a wifey life of doing nothing but being his and staying by his side all the time. You can help him with small tasks in his work, and calming him down when he gets too overwhelmed and hot! That's, um... empowering. Yeah, he also tends to take the route of "all girls should be free and empowered but here is my 1000-slide presentation on why darling is the exception--" you get the idea.

 Chongyun also white knights. So badly. It's embarrassing. He will unhesitatingly rush to your defense the moment another guy says something that could vaguely be interpreted as mean because he has to. He can't just let someone get away with disrespect! ...Even if you're practically begging him to leave it alone. He has to defend you, after all, not doing so would... well, it would look kinda pathetic, he can't have that. This is also true if darling is a stranger. Like, he white knights in general, because he's not about to let anyone be mean to girls on his watch!! He will definitely walk right up to some guy with an irritated glare to ask what they're doing to you, ask you if you're okay, fight them off if need be. It's only the right thing to do, he thinks.

 And finally, the whole yin energy thing... well, it has to be transferred to his body somehow. And he's been told the best way is intercourse. So, really, it is a very dire matter when he needs to bend you over the nearest surface, or push you up against a tree or the like. He respects you a lot and all that, but, uh, this is a very serious situation, you see, so maybe you can sacrifice that free will just this once for the greater good.

 -

 As for Gorou... well, he tries, but the issue is that sometimes biology takes over. Like, yes, he respects your right to your autonomy and freedom however-- it's... just that you told him you're not ready for it yet, but you see, he really really wants to breed you... so there is a conflict of interest here. Not that he doesn't respect you! But it's just that... he really wants it. So he may have to kinda set the respect to the side just long enough to shove his knot in you, then he'll go right back to being very respectful, promise, so it all works out right? He'll even apologize the whole time he's pounding his hips into you, that's how much he respects you.

 And he will help you take care of them, of course. But, uh, it may be something of a permanent occupation. He would never think that you're not good for anything else, of course, it's just that once you've recovered, he's definitely ready to stuff you again... and again... and due to his naturally very high doggie fertility, it usually only takes one try before he gets results. He thinks you'll be really good at the whole incubator-breeder thing. Not that you aren't a great fighter and all that too! But, well, technically since you have the parts, it's not too upsetting to say you were built for it, right?

 Likewise, he can't help but be defensive, protective. Not that he thinks you can't do it yourself! No, never, he just... gets really upset all of a sudden when other men talk to you. He doesn't really think about it, his ears just flatten to the side of his head and he growls out of instinct. Trust him, he's embarrassed by it himself, he just can't even think straight when that happens. He has to protect you, you know, you're his, so... oh, no, not... not like he thinks of you as property or anything! He just thinks of you as something that is just for him and no one else and that he has more of a claim to you than others, which is totally different.

  -----

Venti's issue is not really his attitudes or opinions or anything, he doesn't really have any that are too bad, and more his behaviors and the fact that every little thing he does to darling more or less all revolves around him being perpetually and insatiably horny.

 He has lots of respect for you as a female and your autonomy and all that... or so he says... but his actions tend to not quite line up with that because he's a nasty little perv with no regard for privacy or decency. He honestly thinks he's very respectful, if you were to ask him, because he doesn't realize that his habits of groping and voyeurism are in any way bad.

 Venti would be like one of those guys all for fair treatment and rights and all because they know that sexual liberation means they'll get laid more often, but still keep some sexist attitudes when it benefits them. Sexual autonomy significantly increases his chance of darling sleeping with him, does it not? In that case, well, it is the City of freedom! Honestly, that's probably part of the origin of the whole city of freedom thing, he probably decided Mondstadt should be a place where people are free to sleep with whomever whenever. ...Well, unless it's darling of course, darling should only be sleeping with him, darling just has the freedom to do so whenever she wants. Come on now, all rules (or lack thereof) have exceptions.

 But unlike the former four, don't except any shame or respect in terms of opportunities. He's shameless, and will take every chance he gets to get an eyeful, handful, or faceful of you. He already is a little perv and menace even before darling enters his life. Flipping up skirts with wind powers, spying on the nuns through the cathedral windows when they bathe or get dressed, copping a feel when he "trips" right into some tits. Unfortunately, once darling comes along into his life, he redirects all that perversion that was once spread across the entire female population of Mondstadt, onto one person.

 It's important to note that he uses his cute, somewhat effeminate appearances to get out of any real consequences -- over time, he's learned he can get away with it like that, so he has no shame and no hesitancy. He's not like those gross guys (who are, you know, tall, bearded, gruff-looking, everything he's not) in bars that grope and say gross things and get rightfully slapped or have drinks thrown at them, no, he can just flash a sweet smile and he's used to being forgiven for anything. He's not a big or intimidating guy, so most women he's ever interacted with or bumped into just roll their eyes or even find his behaviors a bit cute, ruffle his hair a bit and leave him alone. Should darling actually get mad about it, he can just get watery-eyed and let his head fall a bit... sorry... He didn't mean anything bad... you'll forgive him right...?

 That being said, it backfires against him. He enjoys using his youthful appearance to get his out of the consequences of his actions, but is taken aback when you consequently actually try to treat him like a teen boy or something. You should know he's way older than that, why are you talking to him like he's a kid, talking down to him as if he's stupid or naive? Or, gods forbid, you hit him with the 'you're like a little brother to me!' line, that would basically gut his heart out of his body. It starts to give him a bit of a masculinity crisis. Do you not take him seriously because he's short and slender? Do you not see him as A Man™?? Does he need to be taller? More muscular? It starts to get to his head. He has to try to make up for it. He'll start trying to be more impressive, trying to perform feats of strength and/or competency and make sure darling is watching.

 If all else fails, he can spring the revelation he's been planning for a while on you. After all, you'll totally respect him and fall for him if he has power, right? He's seen a lot of women that go for men with a lot of power. So revealing his archon status is a good step towards that. You probably wanna worship him now, right?? He will gladly accept, in fact, he has several highly suggested forms of worship that would be especially appreciated, if you'll hear him out...

 But in general, he can and will get very very pushy if he's still not reaching the goal. Oh, you're waiting for the right person or marriage or something? Something about purity or chastity? Well, you know, if it's with a god, it basically cancels out and makes you extra pure. You're worried about judgement? Don't worry, he'll never judge you (as long as the person you're sleeping with is him and not someone else, of course, in which case maybe you should just be judged for your taste in guys). He just pushes and pushes and talks his way out of every excuse you can give. He will stop at absolutely nothing, will go to any lengths, just to bust a nut in you. Please. What more do you want?

 In the end, he actually has very little respect for your autonomy and will, if it's what he doesn't like. His respect is a bit performative, and only lasts as long as he's under the impression that he's getting closer to his goal. Then he starts to test boundaries. You say you don't like touches, but certainly if he just keeps doing it, you'll get used to it. And again, he can always get out of your anger by putting on a cute face, no? That's the issue with that whole thing -- he's so used to it that he uses it as a default excuse to do bad things in the first place, the security of having that to fall back on makes him much more bold and willing to violate little boundaries until he can work his way in.

 Also, that whole "City of Freedom" thing backfires likewise if he realizes darling has been... taking advantage of that. Mondstadt's favorite bar maid or nun or whatever you are has a favorite pastime, and it's sleeping around? The horror. He's... conflicted... this is technically what he envisioned for this city, a place people could do whatever they wanted, but... but...!!! Darling's choices are bad for her, right? Maybe he can uh... appear to one of the nuns in a "vision" (think like he did with Stanley), pass on the divine message that they've had it wrong this whole time and promiscuity is actually like super duper bad. You can only sleep around as uh, acts of charity... for people in freelance occupations, such as bards, for example.

 ------

 Razor also has the best intentions, but it's... less wholesome than some of the ones above. It's just... he sees everything very naturalistically, very black and white. Definitely thinks of things in terms of "nature" being right because it's all he knows, so... Strength is the be-all-end-all determiner of position in his world. That's why pack leaders and the like exist, they fight for it. Why would you think you two are the same? You're clearly weaker. Your protests don't make sense. Do you not know? Here, he'll show you, see, he can pick you up and pin you down and you can't do either of those things to him because you're weak. Very weak! (He has been working on use of simple adverbs like that, please be proud of him...). So, now you understand why you're supposed to do what he wants right? What? What do you mean that doesn't matter? What else would you base these things on?? What are these "rights" and "free will" you keep going on about, and... "au-to-no-mee...?" You're just confusing him now.

 In all seriousness, with most gender-related things altogether, he just has absolutely no idea what you're talking about. This is especially true the more complex you're getting. He understands... that females are weak, and males are strong. That's... about the limit of his understanding. Anything beyond that is just met with a blank stare. He has no concept of things like autonomy, stereotypes, prejudices, anything of the sort. The only "right" he's familiar with is the opposite of "left" (and he gets which word is which direction confused sometimes). Nothing socially complex. Which, if you ask him, he knows all he needs to know. It sounds like these words you keep using are just things that only apply to humans that live with other humans in big cities and stuff, so it's pointless to talk about it when you live out here with him.

 This makes him somewhat frustrating to deal with, because he literally cannot be reasoned with. With our other boys, even if they staunchly disagree with you, see you as inferior, etc, you can still argue with them about it, still have back-and-forth dialogue, they still understand what you mean when you argue that you have the right to be free and do what you want, or when you accuse them of being prejudiced, even if they dismiss the idea. There's a catharsis in merely arguing and at least being heard, knowing the other person understands the meaning of your words. But that's not the case with Razor. You cannot have a discussion when he doesn't understand the very concepts in the first place, and this makes conversation on the matter impossible. Something about being trapped with someone on whom logic is lost, where your very valid points fall on deaf ears, is infuriating, as you quickly discover. It's like talking to a brick wall, except the brick wall may actually have him beat by a few IQ points.

 So, while he doesn't understand any of that stuff you go on about, he has another pressing concern, much more important than whatever you're talking about. You must have lots of puppies, and every second you spend not knocked up is wasted time in that regard. That's like the whole purpose of your life, right? That's the purpose of all life, to be fair, he thinks, either making puppies or having them, and he can get all the food you need and bring it back, and protect you from enemies! You just have to take care of the puppies. This is a good setup. It works for the wolves, after all.

 But back to general issues, or lack thereof, he doesn't really understand the concept of sexes to begin with outside of very obvious physical traits (he can distinguish a little bit, but only general traits that are not always accurate -- taller versus shorter, high voice and low voice, curved and not curved, and that's about it), and his vague, very limited understanding of social norms, so on the bright side you'll actually be free from some of the cultural expectations of women. He doesn't really care if you curse a lot or what kind of language/speech you use (as long as he can understand it, no big confusing words please), you won't be held to any standards of appearances, nor of "appropriateness" or "ladylikeness." It's a breath of fresh air compared to some of the others in that regard.

 He's just a little taken aback and confused when you don't want to cooperate with him, or more importantly, mate with him. He's never seen anything different... the males go hunt food and defend the pack from enemies, and the females mate with them and have the pups and nurse them and... that's how things go. He's just very confused by it all. Unfortunately, he has pretty limited patience and no real desire to understand, so ultimately he just gets frustrated and will force whatever he wants.

 Whenever you're still in the non-kidnapped stage, you really get a taste of that mating competition thing someone once told you about wolves. Again, he knows no better, he has no reason to think the humans operate any differently than what he's used to. Our boy is unnecessarily and instantly aggressive towards other men, glaring and even audibly growling just over the offense of them coming up to speak to you. It's rather embarrassing, really, since it's so obvious what he's trying to do and why. He stands super close to you, tries to physically stand in between you and other men. They keep coming up to you, no matter how many times he rubs your faces together and licks you to get his scent on you! Normally that is a clear warning sign between wolves that you're taken, but it seems the humans ignore it entirely, and it leaves him feeling uncertain of what else he can do... so he just becomes more protective and vigilant. God forbid another man were to touch you, because he takes that as a direct challenge, trying to steal you. Well, if they want to steal you away, they have to fight to the death first, which he's very willing to do at a moment's notice, not even the slightest hesitation.

 Finally, he also has no concept of chastity or promiscuity and won't ever think to ask if you've had other partners before, as wolves mate for life... but still, it's wise not to mention if you have. It... makes him feel something bad that he doesn't like. A bad feeling in his chest and stomach. He doesn't like thinking about it. He didn't even get to fight them! Is that why you're so difficult? Maybe he just needs to fight that other guy and kill him, then you'd like him a lot more once you know he's stronger... maybe that is the issue, that's why you're not being a very good mate, because he hasn't proven he's the strongest yet. Well, if you tell him where they live, he can bring the body back to you so you can see... but for some reason, you refuse to tell him.

 Also, thankfully, he doesn't use intellect against you, like some people might claim to be inherently smarter than you and thereby superior. He doesn't factor intelligence into his way of thinking at all, for, ah, obvious reasons.

  ------

I already mentioned Xingqiu being a sexist rich boy before (here) but like. Ugh. He is the most entitled little brat sometimes, underneath his generally pleasant demeanor -- it's more like he maintains that general niceness up until he stops getting his way.

 He feels like he can just buy you over because... girls like pretty things right? He sees it as a formula, you buy a certain amount of shiny, pretty materialistic things, keep giving them as gifts, and boom, you have a wife. What, what do you mean girls are each unique human beings with discernment and individual tastes?? They care about things other than just money and buying stuff? Well, then it becomes passive-aggressive commentary (read: not-so-subtle whining) about you being "complicated," why is there no easy formula to follow to win you over? After all, he has a very simple way to win him over, just be nice and obedient and worship him. How unfair.

 He's definitely used to a home environment where his mom was kinda a trophy wife, she's super submissive and obedient and does whatever his dad wants, and he expects the same from his cute little wife too. And of course, his mom always dresses very revealingly and sits in father's lap whenever he's meeting with business partners like a cute trophy to show off... and again, he expects the same. He's got this image in his head of how things will go, a sort of fantasy he's too naive to realize might not go as smoothly as he thinks, so he's genuinely baffled when you start off resistant. How unexpected. Maybe you just need to get used to being here? Maybe you're hormonal? Maybe he did something to make you mad and he needs to buy you something or do something to get you to settle down? Who knows what the issue could be.

 After all, he truly believes that the state of the women he's used to seeing -- submissive, quiet eye-candy wives that are extremely docile, agreeable, and happy all the time -- is the default state of girls. That's what they're naturally like, anything else is a disruption of their normal state that can be remedied. He is entirely unaware of, and has never considered, the possibility that maybe, just maybe, those women are sacrificing the freedom to speak their mind and behave the way they want in order to have a super rich husband... it really has never occurred to him.

 And if you tell him such, that you have your own thoughts and desires that don't revolve around what he wants, that the women he's used to seeing are only behaving the way they do for the benefits of their marriages, it leaves him somewhat shocked. Because, well, that does make sense, but it's just something incomprehensible. He reaches his own conclusion... perhaps, just maybe, he might be willing to accept that women are unique individual human beings, and not a monolith, as he previously believed. This is a big transition in his way of thinking, he'll have you know. In which case, you're still wrong about them -- that's how they are, all docile and sweet, you're just different. However, it does stand to reason, that you can be converted into being more like them. People are subject to change. So really, you end up back where you started, with him believing you just have to be won over with some set of actions that will eventually cause you to become the ideal he wants.

 He perpetuates the sort of system you're subjected to by participating in it -- his family more or less buys you by persuading your own family to give you over for a massive sum. Regardless of your background, the brat practically begged his father into securing you for him, which, if you weren't of an equally wealthy family, was quite the struggle to convince him, so hey, he's already put a lot of effort in you know? To be honest, the thought of you refusing doesn't really cross his mind... that's not how these things work. Even if you do, of course, getting your family to write such, his father just shields him from finding out about that rejection, and instead sends a second offer to your family... with a new, higher sum they can't bring themselves to refuse.

 And from the moment he... obtains you, he wants to show you off like a trophy, following that same example of what he's seen the men in wealthy social circles do, what he's observed his whole life. In the world of the elite, when you have something that makes other people envy you, when you have something shiny and new and want people to be jealous of it, you put it on display. Besides, it's sort of a masculinity thing with those types as well, the need to have a female on display as if to show off that look, this is mine. So he does -- puts you in clothes that make you uncomfortable, drags you everywhere with a firm grip and a smile, gets you to sit pressed up against him or on his lap when he meets with others. Also, rich people fancy clothing is heavy and uncomfortable, ugh. You never realized until now how many layers and unnecessary little pieces there are to this stuff.

 And what's much, much worse, is that you will be held to certain standards among his culture and class. He sneakily elbows you in the side when he introduces you to his friends as a quick reminder, because you were looking them in the eye when you're supposed to look at the ground when you speak to men who aren't him, taps your foot with his under the table when you make the mistake of forgetting that even when someone asks you a question, you're supposed to let him answer the question for you, unless he indicates otherwise. It's ok, he can excuse it the first time or two, you're just... getting adjusted. You didn't mean to do it. Just don't do it again.

 Honestly he doesn't outright tell you from the beginning that he expects obedience and compliance -- again, in his mind it's such a given, so ingrained as normal that he doesn't even think about it, and your defiance comes as a shock because he's never even really thought about such a thing. As soon as you're settled into forcibly married life, the first few days he just gives commands without thinking much of it... and is taken aback when you say no. He's not even certain that word is supposed to be in your vocabulary... It shatters the whole illusion of the submissive obedient wife thing. That's no good. But, ah, his father prepared him for moments like this. He just has to give you some money or a gift and an empty apology and then you'll be happy again. No? Ugh, you're being complicated again...

 He attributes it to a class or culture thing, if you're not from Liyue or simply not as wealthy. It's not your fault, you just came from... a less dignified background. Just give it time. Time and effort and reprimanding when necessary, but he trusts that you'll change and become the ideal wife in his head with time. And then, you'll stop bringing up all the dumb stuff you keep complaining about, like saying he's prejudiced or entitled, how you're in control of your body, blah blah... until then, it just goes in one ear and out the other.

 -----

 You'd think Kazuha would be one of the mildest offenders, yeah? Well, you'd be wrong.

 First of all, he's very, very unrealistic when it comes to projections of you in his head. When he imagines what you'll be like once you're with him, it's very idealistic and appeals to virtually every horny young boy's most eyeroll-worthy fantasies... but unlike most guys, he fails to realize how inaccurate to reality his fantasies are. He envisions this perfect "you" that never disagrees with anything he says, will do anything he asks, is always in a good mood, always affectionate, always horny, eager to go at it at a moment's notice. Always sweet and never mean. You'll hate every other guy that exists and only love him. He's quite disappointed to find out you're, you know, just like a guy, with varying emotions and moods depending on the timing and context. But that's okay. He still loves you. Even if he is disappointed.

 Then there's the actual negative things. The thing is... he doesn't realize it's bad. He's worse than Bennett/Chongyun/Thoma/Venti in terms of the actual things he thinks and does and says, but unlike some of the boys higher up on this list, he... doesn't even realize it might be offensive, the notion doesn't really cross his mind, it's so ingrained. He doesn't say anything in a degrading or authoritative tone. He says everything with that same soft smile and gentle voice as always, which makes the words themselves take a moment to process, and come as that much more of a shock, you question if you heard him wrong.

 If you're out wandering the land with him, camping out at night, he tells you not to worry, he can take care of the important stuff, and you can do the girl jobs, he adds with that same soft smile, pointing over to the fire and food you brought with you. You find yourself blinking, not sure if you heard him right... surely he doesn't seem like the type to actually think that way.

 And then, you start to think he thinks of you as fragile. He intervenes once, when you encounter very simple monsters on the road. No, no fighting for you... let him do that. It's mocking, really, even though he doesn't intend it that way -- he just can't help but sort of chuckle, you were actually about to draw a sword on those monsters, weren't you? That's so cute, you were actually going to try and fight them. Well, good thing he was here. You really make him worry about you, he hopes you don't actually think you could take anything on by yourself, do you...?

 And even after that, a few days later, you ask him why he can't trust you to at least go get the two of you supplies at least once... he tilts his head. Well, that's obvious, you'd go running off with someone else, as soon as you were presented with the option. It's okay, he knows you just can't control yourself, it's not your fault, it's just how you're... hardwired. Once again, said in that same soft, gentle voice he always has, as if he's talking about anything else, gives you a pat on the head as he speaks, not even noticing you staring at him in bewilderment. He says the things he says so sweetly, you have to take a moment to process before you realize how awful the words themselves actually were.

 When you get mad at him once, for a very valid reason, you quickly realize he has no intention of taking your anger seriously. He just smiles. Getting so upset over nothing... ah, are you hormonal today? Is it a cycle related thing? That explains it. Not for so much as a second does he seem to consider that maybe he was in the wrong and you have a reason to be mad. Your emotions and anger must automatically be due to something that invalidates your feelings, and is something he can tease and even belittle you for, in that soft way of his. This aspect is really bad, because you'll notice it repeats over and over, he never views your anger as valid. It's just hormones, a tantrum, or, as he once says when you get mad over something, just how you all are, getting upset over such little things... you don't bother to ask him what he means by that.

 When you finally snap at him about that specifically, he reacts with surprise. Why are you upset? It's not bad. What's that... You think he treats you like you're some kind of lesser?

 Well of course he does... with that same soft, precious little smile, and the slightest chuckle of amusement, he adds... because you are.

 You get another pat on the head as he speaks. It's not a bad thing. He's not sure why you're so upset about it. Everything has its place in nature, in the world, you're no different. There's no reason to get upset over it. He takes good care of you, and loves you a lot, so there's no need for you to worry about something so trivial. He doesn't even consider that you might find it derogatory or upsetting. It's just how things are. He thought everyone knew that? Why would that upset you? Besides, it's not like it causes you harm, it makes things easier for you if anything. You don't have to worry about the mentally taxing burden of making decisions for yourself. You can just leave that to him. He doesn't really get why this seems to make you upset, but if you're worried it'll make him treat you poorly, don't. He would never do that, so don't worry about it.

 It leaves you slack-jawed and somewhat shocked, but at first, you decide you have enough problems already, you can ignore him for now, as annoying as his attitude is. It becomes... increasingly difficult, once his thoughts start affecting expectations on you. You have been pretty docile and compliant thus far, realizing the position you were in and trying to earn your captor's trust, but that becomes more difficult with time. You start not wanting to follow the commands you're given (given so sweetly and with such a soft smile so that you actually didn't realize the wording was phrased more as a command and not a request until you stop to think about it...). You start becoming defiant.

 Oh... he feels some guilt. That's definitely his fault. He wasn't firm enough with you. Things... work best when everything performs its role correctly, you know? Couples also have roles, he thinks. Yours is to make him happy, be good, and take care of his needs, and his is to make sure you're safe and keep you in line, that's what he was always taught at least. So, really, if you fail at your job, it means he wasn't doing his right. So he'll have to be firmer with you, even though firmness is not his strong suit. He lets a lot of things slide, you know, you should probably be punished every now and then, for your own good. You may not understand it at the time, but it's for your benefit.

 Kazuha is also quietly a bit... critical (read: judgemental and insecure) of your, ah, choices. In a nice way! It's just... You know, when he met you, admittedly part of the reason he noticed you was because what you were wearing at the moment was... eye-catching. And you, ah, really made an active choice to dress that way didn't you? Which was actually a good thing, since it caught his eye and all, but still, other people are going to see you, too. You really should have thought more before you were going outside like that. It worries him to think that you are so naive that you thought that that was safe to wear...  but no worries, he can choose clothes for you from now on, whenever you're going into a public area, make sure you're not going to draw too many eyes.

 And if the opposite issue, that what you were wearing wasn't feminine enough, he wouldn't force you into femininity standards... He just encourages them. No, he has no idea what happened to your shirt and pants you were wearing for the outdoors, the cloth in the fire is just some old rags he tossed in overnight... But look, he already got you replacement clothes. These are the superior option anyway, skirts provide a better view when he's behind or below you and easier access -- er, easier for you to maneuver in.

 Similarly, behavioral standards are just there to keep you safe, and he can be lenient on many of them, he's not going to reprimand you just because you sit or carry yourself or talk a certain way, that's all fine. He'll still question some things, though, when it comes to interactions... because he has a certain paranoia.

 Which brings us to one more thing. Kazuha has been... influenced... by the sailors back when he was with the Crux fleet, on a very specific paranoia. Sailors are not known for being the most reserved and clean in regards to conversational topics. A bunch of older, often middle-aged men gathered around on the ship late at night, telling their tales of woe from their younger days or even their current frustrations -- and being sailors, who are gone on long voyages away from home, a lot of them have had some encounter with infidelity in their lives. They sigh and they grumble and at some point one of them turns to him, the poor misfit in the conversation that he is, and tells him to be smarter than they were and always watch his woman, because all of them deep down are whores. If he ever gets one, they tell him, gotta keep a proverbial leash on her, or she won't be yours for long.

Poor thing at the time just sort of gives a wide-eyed stare and awkwardly nods, but it eats away at him. Well, who would dismiss the advice of their elders? Once you come along, he takes it to heart. A little too much. He was already a rather possessive person by nature, but by the time darling comes along he's got a deep cheating paranoia. Unfortunately, he ends up going back to said crew members, after encountering them once again, for more advice, who end up only making it worse and filling his head with even more ideas. That it's in their nature. To go out and breed, get pregnant from the strongest mate they can find. Poor things just can't control themselves, so they told him, it's pitiful for their sake really. (Never mind the fact that boys will practically throw themselves off a cliff if it means they stand a chance of getting laid... that's different.)

 And the paranoia does certainly show itself. He gets uncharacteristically upset by you talking to other men, and in general becomes way too aggressive towards any other male. He's fairly quiet on the outside, merely a stern sort of pout on his face, but internally he's having horrible thoughts -- you probably want to have sex with them, too. If he wasn't here, maybe if he'd let you go run this errand or meet this other guy by yourself instead of coming with you, you'd be fucking him right now. He clenches his fist and grinds his teeth whenever you smile or laugh at the other guy. You're probably thinking about fucking him aren't you? The thought of it being, you know, a normal friendly human interaction... it doesn't even cross his mind. No, you definitely would if you could, this is proof those guys were right about what they told him. He becomes fairly hostile towards others, often giving them passive aggressive smiles as he stands behind you that are still very clearly interpreted as telling them to back off. He tries to hold it in, but at some point inevitably end up blurting out the question of do you like them more than me?  You don't think about anyone else when you're doing stuff with him, right? You should stop speaking to them. And don't speak to other women either. They'll just encourage you to cheat and justify it. Stop being around anyone else altogether. You don't need to talk to anyone, he can do all that for you.

 There's one more issue to be addressed, regarding that, which he'll get out of the way early on to know how paranoid he needs to be. Out of pure curiosity... What's your history like? Don't worry, you're not going to upset him. He understands that people make mistakes. Your mistakes just happen to be sleeping with anyone who wasn't him. He can forgive you. He just needs to know, so he can have a better gauge of just how much he needs to worry. ...Why does that seem to upset you? It's common knowledge, he thought, that the higher your body count, the more likely you are to... have challenges staying loyal. He's just trying to help you with that, that's all. You're getting so upset now, saying mean things about him that he's some kind of bad person for judging you based on that... see, there you go with getting upset over nothing again. But don't worry, it's cute, in a way.

-----

 Xiao is sort of a unique case, mostly because he's a bit too disconnected to fully understand these things to begin with. Human women are some sort of foreign, alien species to him. But, rather hilariously, his primary feeling towards women is that he's... intimidated.

 In his defense, your kind are terrifying. Unfortunately, due to his lack of interaction, he has to go on the words of wisdom (read: random laborers' and drunk inn-goers' ramblings) of human men to learn what women are like. In other words, he gets all of his information secondhand and firmly believes that, thanks to his listening in on conversations, he has received a thorough education on them and their ways, takes whatever they say as the truth. This... Does not spell good things for a darling.

 From what he understands, there's all these special rules and guidelines you're supposed to follow when interacting with them... it's said that they speak cryptically, they say things where you're supposed to infer what they mean, because they don't say what they actually mean, you have to sort their words out like some sort of horrible, emotionally sadistic puzzle. Sometimes they will say they are fine, but they are not actually fine, they're upset, and then will get mad if one cannot decipher this. Worst of all, apparently they sometimes say something is fine to do, they will tell you it's fine, go ahead, do whatever you want, but then if you actually do it, they'll become angry. Sometimes they get very quiet and only answer questions with cold, short replies; this means they are upset, but for some incomprehensible reason, they do not want to tell the male why they are upset and he must figure it out himself. 

It sounds horrible. What is the reason for this behavior? He's not sure. Even the human men lament over their inability to understand women, he's heard them call the women "confusing," or "impossible to please," and if the human men feel that way, that means he doesn't stand a chance. Thus, his primary feelings towards a female human darling are just confusion and intimidation.

 But furthermore, he decides to do some preemptive observations by watching women that come through the inn as if he's taking notes on a wild species, but... That doesn't help much at all. He watches this one couple eating at the inn... everything seems to be going fine, and suddenly, the male seems to say or do one wrong thing, and the female snaps at him, becoming angry and yelling and lashing out, throws a drink at him, slaps him in the face, and storms off. He watches with wide eyes, recoiling from his perch somewhere up on the inn. The female wrath is horrifying. If you did that to him... it would hurt his feelings a lot... he can't have that. He's not even sure what the man did wrong, and from the looks of it, the man himself doesn't know what he did wrong either. Are the human women truly this volatile? It's even worse than he thought. He'd rather face a hundred monsters at once than be on the receiving end of that. Nothing is more frightening.

 It gets worse once he actually has you all captured and away from the world. Due to the fact that, in his pessimism, he tends to assume the worst of darling, constantly thinks that you do everything on purpose and are always trying to trick him -- well now, in addition to that he just pushes everything he doesn't understand, like, or want to deal with, onto the excuse of you being female. Again, he gets his ideas from what he's overheard... except, well, he gets a lot of bits and pieces of information and sort of puts them together himself, filling in the gaps based on what he comes up with that makes sense to him, and as you can imagine, this is not good. 

You are complaining about not having seen sunlight in several months, or crying over being tied up all the time? Hmph, that's just your hormones making you all emotional. ...Well, he's not entirely sure what hormones are... some incurable disease that affects only the female humans, makes them get upset all the time for no reason. They make you upset irrationally, so that must be the explanation for every time you are upset about anything he doesn't think you should be upset about.

 No, you can't go outside. He heard a bunch of drunk guys at the inn talking about their woes as they tend to do, several were talking about ex wives or ex girlfriends and claimed that human women will run off with another man the first opportunity they get, because they're never happy and content and always want to have more. Especially if they are mad or bitter (which he has reason to believe you are, since you complain about being here), they do it just to get revenge on the man, how awful. They're also insatiable, apparently, such was the term that was used. They have to have sex all the time, that's what gets their defiance and meanness out... probably by removing those bad hormones. Sort of like how exorcism rituals remove demons, or such is the comparison he thinks makes sense. So if you don't do it all the time, the disease will get worse and worse, you have to expel it with sex. Thankfully, he can provide that, so you won't need to get it elsewhere anyway. But logically, then, you should understand why he can't take you outside, it's a horrible idea.

 He has learned some tips, though. If they are defiant, once again, you just have to fuck them really hard, and then they'll go back to being obedient. A very helpful tip. When they are upset, you can make them happy again, and get them to stop being mean, by giving them gifts that they enjoy being recipients of, such as large amounts of flowers and things made out of gold and things that taste sweet. If you are ever mean to him, expect to wake up to a gigantic pile of qingxin by your bed (he did not think to remove all the dirt from the stems though...) that he spent several hours plucking off various mountaintops. Speaking of happiness, he's been alive a long time, he can remember a time when the human wives were all a lot more controlled, they were very obedient and docile, and stayed in their homes a lot. They seemed perfectly happy. Maybe you should try being more obedient, and you'd be happier. It would be a lot nicer for him too, he thinks, so it would be a win-win.

 On the bright side, although he has more of a cemented concept of what is considered standards of femininity than Razor, that sort of thing doesn't matter in terms of outward standards. He could care less about your posture or way of speaking or the way you dress, the length of your hair, the vulgarity of your language, things like that. He is (sometimes) aware of them, but doesn't care if you meet the ones like that, that are related to appearances and socially constructed concepts. It doesn't matter if you have short hair, boyish clothing (you won't need clothes with him anyway), speech filled with profanity or vulgarity, unfeminine posture or stance, etc. None of that matters. What matters is that you're nice. None of that scary human female stuff where they get all angry and yell... be sweet and happy all the time, and don't get upset over things, like he likes. And do all the things he tells you to. That's all. Oh, and don't fight the sex... it makes no sense for you to do that, since not only is it important to cure your issues, but also, that's your purpose in the first place.

 What? Degrading...? Why would you think that? See, the whole idea that being made for sex and babies is dehumanizing is kinda socially constructed in and of itself, so to him, he doesn't see why you would find such a thing offending. For him, it's just... obvious. Things are designed for the function for which they were created. Like how a cup is made to hold water. A lock is made to keep something closed off. Their very purpose is obvious through their characteristics. Why are living beings any different? Like how he is strong and has certain abilities, he's made to fight and protect you. 

You, weak as you are, clearly are not. But, you have these warm wet holes, they fit so snugly around his dick and squeeze it really nicely... and it fits inside perfectly, so it makes sense that it was intended for this purpose. You have hips, clearly designed on each side to be grabbed, your body has these curved parts that make it easier to hold onto. This seems like the obvious purpose. Your face and voice are nice to see and hear, and there is realistically no other purpose for such than just that. You are warm, this is pleasant. You have soft thighs and even softer tits, what other purpose could these things possibly have, if not for him to rest his head on? And when you consider the obvious purposes of your various parts, and that you as an entity are composed of said parts, your purpose as a whole being is clear -- your purpose is to be utilized. Why does it make you so upset for that to be acknowledged?

 Besides, you're irrational right? And if it's irrational, there's no point in even trying to understand it, to listen to you and process what you say. There's no point in hearing you out. He has heard it said that the women lie all the time for no reason. Well, you can't deceive him if he simply chooses not to entertain your claims in the first place.

 And you are very weak. Like... how the humans have some pets that are small and weak and cute, their sole purpose is to provide the owner with affection. Or fragile vases and decorative antiques, but they are very fragile and easily broken, so they must be preserved. You're like that. You have to be taken care of, protected. But it's not degrading, no. No matter how much you explain, he cannot comprehend why the idea of being a possession or property or designed for sex makes you feel bad. You're very valuable to him... that should be enough. In fact, all your nice parts make you even more valuable, because they provide you with more use! ...Saying so seems to only make you more upset though, and he's not sure why. It's all so confusing. He's starting to understand the human men's woes. They were right, you are impossible to understand.

 -----

 Kaeya is the absolute, complete, total epitome of a 'nice guy'. He thinks that him giving you the bare minimum of the basic respect for another human being possible is not only going above and beyond, but should be rewarded. Similar to Thoma but much more shamelessly, genuinely entitled, and far more aggressively acting on that entitlement, much more pushy, and expects results much sooner. Like, that's how it works yeah? Be nice to girl = get sex; it's a very simple formula that is supposed to apply under all conditions. Yeah, yeah, he'd totally be nice to you anyway, it's not like you have to, but like... well, to say he deserves it, it's not in a demanding way, just in a... logical way. He'd be nice to you no matter what, but it's only fair to have an expectation of reward. That's how the world works, you can't just expect people to always be good without providing them with incentives. 

And much like Venti, he's one of those guys that's very very all for the idea of liberation and stuff like that because that just makes it so much easier to get what he wants! And will pretend to be very pro-freedom and choices for girls... as long as those choices are the ones he wants you to make. It becomes blatantly obvious very quickly that every single nice word or action is just an attempt to get between your legs. And unfortunately for him, it seems to not be working.

 The other biggest offense is the massive slut-shaming. Like, what do you mean you slept with someone else before, ever? You just have no self respect, do you. Even if it's literally just one, he'll still find a way to make you feel bad about it. But uh, he does need to know the exact number... like immediately... not out of insecurity or anything, just... couples should be honest with each other, you know. Absolutely devastated if it's anything he considers "high" (read: 1=not great but okay, 2=pushing it, 3+=soul-crushing), but he keeps a smile no matter what, just sighs. You... probably just slept with so many people (yes, even if it's like 2-5 he'll still use 'many') because you're just so sweet and easily taken advantage of, yeah? You should be more discriminate and have some self respect and not just sleep around with anyone who wants it, make them work for it! Make them prove that they're genuinely nice people who really care about you. Like he is. Use him as a standard of comparison, yeah? He's the kind of person you should sleep with. ...Or maybe, like, the person, rather than just the type... and since you're so sweet, he knows you're not like, the kind of person who would ever be sexually active with more than one person at once, so there's... no need to worry... because if you were, you'd tell him, so he assumes.

 Yet, he also... Reverse slut shames? Like, what do you mean you won't sleep with him within two hours of knowing him? You're not like, a prude or something right? He says it with a chuckle in his tone, but there's some genuine concern there... Or maybe you just think you're too good for him and you're trying to play hard to get? Yeah, that sounds more likely. Trying to make him meet a bunch of requirements to sleep with you because you're a manipulative little thing... Well, he won't say that part out loud, but that's certainly his internal thoughts.

 He's also the type you can go to crying over a toxic relationship, being cheated on or abused... he'll comfort you alright (what an asshole! Who would do something like that? Someone who has something as great as you and was actually nice would appreciate it!), but be sure to alternate between what comes across as genuine comfort, mixed with the sentiment of "well you're the one that chose to fuck him :/ There were probably red flags you just ignored :/ You shouldn't have dated an asshole, you could have had a good guy (like me) :/" Just enough niceness to get you to second guess yourself when he goes in for the jabs -- he was being so nice just a moment ago, so maybe he didn't mean that other part in a mean way, right? Definitely the type to refer to himself as a "good" or "nice" guy (he's not) and say he would have been so much better (he'd be worse) and treat you with so much respect (he would not).

 If you sleep with someone else, you clearly have no common sense or self respect. You should think more highly of yourself than to give yourself away like that. But if you won't sleep with him, you're conceited, you really think too highly of yourself. Someone needs to pull you off your high horse and break the reality to you. You're not so great that someone like him is gonna wait around until you feel "ready" or whatever dumb excuse you're using.

 He's not gonna straight up whine, since that would be kinda pathetic... so if the smiles and charm doesn't work, he just gaslights you. It's been what, a week since you met? And you still haven't had sex even once! You know that's like, really abnormal for most couples, right? Do you really like him at all, even? Or are you just using him for money or favors or something? He's good at talking, guilting, gaslighting his way into it, using points he knows full well manipulates mentalities internalized within you through female socialization, like not wanting to be boring and not wanting to disappoint him and not wanting to be made out to be using someone. And gods forbid you pull some kind of 'until marriage' line. Oh, come on. That's outdated. No one does that anymore. Besides, the whole point of being able to have sex now is that it's more, uh, what's the word... empowering, right. Really, you're doing yourself a disservice by not having sex now. The only reason you're holding back is because you're been ingrained with this terrible notion by society that it's wrong, and that's why you've convinced yourself you're just someone that needs a while to feel comfortable. You poor thing. You really need to free your mind of that mentality.

 But no matter what happens, he will absolutely gaslight you into thinking it was your fault. He acts like you were doing something wrong and trying to be sneaky while he's super smart and clever for seeing through it, as if it were intentional on your end. Would definitely aim to pick at clothes -- you should know better than to go out dressed like that. You were trying to get guys' attention, probably manipulate them into buying you drinks or something with implied promises of getting laid but then you were just gonna bolt and not follow through. You totally wanted someone to see you like that and lust after you. You want guys to look at you and fantasize about putting their dick in you, to chase after you like hungry dogs. You really thought you could just do whatever you wanted, and not face any consequences, huh? You had to learn your lesson the hard way, thankfully at least from someone who cares about you.

 And that blame continues beyond clothes, too. You were acting really provocatively, too. You probably really wanted it, and didn't want to admit to it. You just feel embarrassed about what you did and now want to call it nonconsensual when you know full well it was consensual. See, that's the socially ingrained mentality again, just admit that you wanted it, he's not going to judge you... not out loud, at least. And no, you weren't drugged. You were very intoxicated, though. Not his fault, since he was totally just as drunk as you... but still, really, you're lucky it was him and not someone else. But really, allowing yourself to reach that point... what did you expect to happen? You made the choice to intoxicate yourself, knowing you were out in a public area with plenty of guys roaming around, you were basically aski-- ...well, he knows maybe that exact choice of words would be going too far, would make you mad. Ahem, you were certainly aware of the risk, and chose to take it anyway. So really, wasn't this the best possible outcome? You knew exactly what you were getting into, so foolish, but hey, he technically saved you from ending up waking up to someone much worse! He makes sure to paint a horrible image in your head so that you feel lucky, grateful even, and totally forgotten any ideas of accusing him of anything.

 Also, he can be very, very predatory in the sense that he will sense and target the exact type of girl he knows he can walk all over and she won't do anything. You're some sort of worker in the knight headquarters or something, not looking at you round a corner and bump right into him, papers getting strewn everywhere... and this girl, as he sees, is immediately apologetic, nearly hysterically so, stuttering apologies and panicking to pick up everything with trembling hands, you bow your head over and over, get teary-eyed even, and frantically say you're so sorry, that was my fault... oh... you're definitely that exact type of girl he was hoping to meet. A doormat that will do anything to make men happy. He imagines you would be so, so easy to manipulate. He knows full well that it's due to a socialization that girls get projected onto them, that they're pressured to behave that way, and that while the ones with a sense of self-worth usually overcome it and learn to stick up for themselves... the weak ones like you succumb to it. And really, isn't it better, then, that you get taken advantage of by someone who cares about you, rather than someone who would just use you and throw you away? He's doing you a favor, really.

 That's most likely what causes a fixation with you in the first place, and observing you, and some mild experimentation, proves all his initial assumptions correct. You will tolerate all the touches at work, you just stiffen and let it happen, you won't say a word to anyone. You'd probably rather do anything than disappoint a guy in authority over you. You'd probably do anything you're told to do, even if you don't want to, because you feel obligated to please. And you'd probably knowingly walk right into allowing yourself to be taken away, like a sheep to the slaughter. In other words, you're perfect.

 -----

 Zhongli is a different type of infuriating because of the infantilization you endure. Part of it, to be fair, is because at his age, he sort of inherently views you as not really any different than a child. If you're under 500 years old or so, you might as well have been born yesterday, naive and foolish and impulsive and all that. Likewise, a visionless human is practically as defenseless as a baby, in comparison to the sheer power he's both wielded and witnessed in his lifetime. You're helpless, like a little lost kitten or something.

 But it goes double for a female darling because, well, a mere mortal human is already fragile enough, but to be among the weaker, slower, smaller, less intelligent half of humanity just makes you that much more vulnerable. You're far too fragile, you see. In his mind, you will break at the slightest of force, you could never handle strenuous tasks or anything physically challenging.

 Which is, bizarrely, part of why he's especially likely to pick up some poor fighter darling he stumbles across. See, no matter how good at fighting you may appear to be, he rationalizes that you're merely just getting by, keeping your head barely above water, by sheer luck and utilizing strategy, not by any actual skill. He can instantly convince himself that you're actually in very, very urgent need, that you're barely getting by. Oh, you're probably so afraid, you've probably just so narrowly escaped defeat a multitude of times, unbelievable luck keeping you from ending up taken or worse. So, he's saving you from what would have inevitably happened to you eventually -- you would be defeated, captured, and... well, unpleasant things would happen to you. They would treat you terribly, merely use you... they wouldn't care for you like he does. And he does take good care of you, really, even if you often feel like you're going to blow a fuse from the attitude he has towards you.

 See, he also thinks this is more... suitable. Really, it's kind of unsavory for you to have been out there, fighting and roaming all free. It's a waste of your body, being put to use for something pointless and not what it was intended for. It's a waste of your time, which could have been spent making some man's life happier, which is far more important than whatever it was you were doing before. You have so much use and value, and you were out there wasting it! He understands why, though, you became disillusioned with your own power, overestimated yourself, allowed yourself to neglect your higher purpose and instead indulged in having personal goals and selfish wants and desires... luckily he took you away before that would have gotten you hurt. The downside of that is you perpetually insist you can take care of yourself, that you were doing just fine, that you would have been able to defeat anything that came after you... sigh. So naive. It's cute, really, like a child who doesn't understand how the adult world works, but is talking like they do, which is always quite amusing... you're like that. After all, women and children are somewhat alike in that way, they both like to avoid reality in favor of allowing themselves to believe they're far more powerful, capable, and knowledgeable than they actually are. You are so innocent, so unaware of how the world really is and how weak you truly are, no one was there to make sure you understood that.

 But sometimes, you force his hand. Sometimes you need to be shown, because you can't be reasoned with (although that's to be expected, of course, unreasonable by nature). Sometimes you need to be held down, need to be held still, just so you can fight and thrash about and finally understand where you stand. It makes your blood boil, your stomach churn to be talked down to, asked if you're done with your tantrum and can stop being so unreasonable now. Not that he gets too impatient with said tantrums... they're natural, bound to happen at times, given your nature, so he's patient in expecting you to calm down.

 He's patient with a reeducation on your ways as well. A lot of our boys react rather badly to a high-promiscuity darling, seeing her as needing change, needing to have her autonomy stripped away, punished for it even... Zhongli alleviates you of responsibility a bit more than that, though, paints a more innocent picture of you in his head, there's more pity. Sure, you were still out of control, breeding like a little rabbit in heat, but there's a lot more emphasis on how sad it is for you. You poor thing, you have these needs that have to be taken care of, and other people were taking advantage of you. It's not your fault you so desperately need to be bred, those others could see that, and used you.

 ...That being said. It is still an issue. He rationalizes your sexuality a little differently than most, should you turn out to have a rather active drive or active experiences. See, women are supposed to be more pure of mind and all that, they're naturally innocent and chaste, they aren't supposed to be lewd and perverse. But every now and then, and as is the case with you, there will be one with some sort of, ah, chemical imbalance, he guesses, causing the girl in question to crave sex and do unfeminine things that taint your purity, like masturbating and fantasizing and, if gone unchecked, fornication. That's no fault of your own, and really, you should have had special consideration -- a girl of that type should be married off as quickly as possible to a man that can... adequately handle that, and ensure those needs are met.

 Speaking of masturbating though, that's something off limits to you. You'll have to have some measures put in place to ensure you can't. Your pleasure is, like every other part of you, property, and you are not the one that gets to decide on it. That, too, seems to be something you have an issue with, no self control to prevent either of these things, and no one was given control over you to ensure you didn't engage in these behaviors.

 It's your upbringing's fault, really, they should've recognized your tendencies and dealt with that appropriately rather than allowing you to run off and become a slut, and the fault of all the men you know, since they manipulated you into it. It's not your fault. Your mind simply operates on physical sensations and urges and can't process consequences, and thus people take advantage of you, and that's precisely why you should have been watched over more carefully. But that works out decently in the end. Sometimes bad things happen for a reason, and for you, it was so that you could eventually end up with him.

 After all, this was all for your own wellbeing. He's lived long enough to have seen plenty of female warriors... they depend on cunning, agility, or powers unnatural to them, such as visions. But he's also seen many of them end up in situations where they are forced to rely on brute strength, and, well, that always ends very quickly. And it ends in the same way each time... said ending is not pleasant. He's seen plenty of female captains and generals and goddesses even, taken down and reduced to a mere slave or toy by someone who so easily overpowered them... it's unfortunate, and he wasn't going to let that happen to you. If it were a perfect world, perhaps it would be acceptable for you to run around on your own, but it isn't, which is why you must be protected from others and yourself alike, you need to be owned and controlled so you don't endanger yourself.

 ...Or, rather, in an alternate scenario, he may very well be the cause of that happening to you.

 Morax of many years ago was not quite so forgiving and patient as he would later become. Alternatively, in his more aggressive days, a goddess may have very well been the perfect target during the war or any number of other conflicts. He was a lot less patient... and a lot less tolerant. Now, he would find it amusing and cute, but in those days, being some cold, arrogant woman who thinks you're so great just because of godhood would merely get under his skin. It's like an insult, you know? You look down on him like you think you're better. And he doesn't take very kindly to those who try and act like they're superior. There's just some sort of instinctive, primal even, urge to put you in your place, ruin you and turn you into something he can own for himself. It's an intoxicating fantasy on its own, but it won't stay fantasy for very long... he tends to act on what he wants rather quickly.

 It also serves as a good model to the humans as to why it was wrong to ever hold you in any reverence. Don't they know that, even among themselves, there's a strength difference between their males and females? And yet they chose to worship you, undoubtedly knowing you were weak? Strange. Well, they'll get a good idea now, what with you being kept all naked and chained up on the ground, sitting at his feet. The way you practically tremble out of sheer rage, he can see it as you sit there, scowling and eyes watering, anger and humiliation swelling in your chest... it's endearing, really.

 But it was necessary -- your kind aren't meant to have pride. They're made to be humble. Just because you somehow managed to get out of line doesn't mean that he doesn't have a responsibility as a superior to you to ensure you get back in your place. You'll learn humility one way or another, along with obedience and all the other little things you're supposed to. You have a chain leash connected to the collar on your neck, so even now if he doesn't like your tone or body language, or if you somehow have the audacity to speak without permission, he can just give it a nice warning tug.

  -----

 Albedo and Scaramouche are both awful for the same reason -- they both have some bitterness, abandonment paranoia and horrible inferiority complexes (and consequently/defensively developed superiority ones) due to a female figure in their early lives, and have to overcompensate for it as a result. It basically amounts to that they have to have darling herself see herself as beneath them, they want to be looked up to, and will seethe over the slightest notion that you don't see yourself as just as inferior to them as they see you.

 However, they have another similarity in that they don't show these sentiments very much, at least not at the start. It's all internal thoughts and subtle, often passive-aggressive efforts. So they sort of have a silent power struggle, where they constantly want to be better than darling and feel threatened (or rather, it wounds that fragile masculinity, poor things) whenever darling is actually smart or strong or capable. Because if you're any of those things, that means there's a chance you won't see him as better than you!! And then he won't feel superior (and needed), and you might behave inappropriately (and not need him, and belittle him, and if you don't need him you can disregard him, he won't mean anything to you, and that would hurt...). That can't stand.

 Of course, then, it's easy to fall back on the comfort of the notion that oneself is inherently superior to someone else by nature, and thus that difference is innate, unchangeable, and will remain true no matter what, so there's no threat. Of course, this does not work out as well when darling wants to act in defiance of that.

 Honestly fem!darling brings out the absolute worst side of Albedo. Like, he's infinitely more obnoxious for a female darling than he would be a male one just because she triggers his complexes and, consequently, makes him feel a compulsion to constantly subtly remind her how much smarter and superior he is. He has a somewhat mix of a modest and prideful nature most of the time. For another guy, he can admit to having not known something, or someone else being more knowledgeable. You'll hear the occasional line out of him, he's very humble normally, especially when dealing with things that aren't his field: That's not really something I know a lot about... hm, I actually didn't know that... oh, that's just a guess, I don't really have sufficient experience on the matter...

But with female darling? No. That all goes out the window. He knows everything about everything that has ever existed and cannot be wrong and, most important of all, you are the opposite. He's infinitely smarter than you and more capable than you by nature and has to make sure you are very well aware of that fact. The thing is, he is very much NOT an outwardly assertive nor confrontational person, quite the opposite. His nature is to go about that subtly and passive-aggressively... except as time goes on, he gets more and more irritated that it's not working and starts to fail at the subtle part, and it results in obvious passive-aggressiveness.

 The worst position to be in would be some sort of assistant or scholar under him (prior to being snatched up and locked away somewhere). He has to make sure to make you feel dumb, or at least inferior. Can't have you feeling comparable. It's best if you are beneath him, but if you are actually intelligent -- or, gods forbid, better at his occupation than him -- he gets... twitchy. He stays silent a lot, maintains a neutral face, but you can feel a sort of... ominous tension in your interactions. He grips the papers he's holding rather tightly, so much so that by the time he hands them off to you, they have creases in them. It almost looks like he's clenching his jaw whenever you speak to him. All his movements are rough, the way he sets things down and moves things almost as if slamming them.

 He always makes sure to double-check your work "just in case" (silently seething when he realizes you made zero mistakes, he was hoping there would be something to correct you on and subtly exaggerate how badly you messed up...), chooses his words carefully to psychologically manipulate you (oh, he can handle the difficult part, you can do what's left... Or hey, maybe this is a bit too advanced for you, maybe you'd be better off with a simpler task...), or just outright holding you to unreasonable expectations of workload, acting as if it's a normal amount, in hopes you start to doubt yourself. And then, when you struggle to complete the enormous amount and insane difficulty of work given to you in such a short time frame... oh, don't worry, he's not upset. He thought it might be a little too much for you, it's his fault for overestima-- ah, not thinking it through. Here, why don't you do something you're better suited for, like uh... put these up on the shelf in alphabetical order. You can handle that, yeah?

 Basically it's just an attempt to gaslight you into believing that it's a normal amount of work, and that your failure to complete it in time is an issue with you, that you can't handle the normal amount of work and need to step down to something more within your capabilities. Make you feel stupid. Make you come to realize just how big the gap between the two of you is. Which is only how it should be, the term "natural order" exists for a reason.

 Also. Albedo is the worst about mansplaining. It's. Infuriating. Especially if darling isn't someone working with him, and thus has no experience in his line of work. It's part for self-reassurance that he's smarter than you and that you think so too, and part just wanting to be impressive. But it's not just alchemy, no, it's everything, it's like he thinks you were born yesterday and have to have basic concepts explained to you like you're a kid. It becomes infuriating very quickly. Like, yes, you understand how that thing works, everyone understands how that thing works, you don't need it explained, especially not with a not-so-subtle condescending tone. However, it's harder if it is something you don't know much about. He is a master of making up absolute bullshit on the spot about any topic he doesn't know about and saying it with full calm confidence, so he can make up literally anything and convince you he's right.

 But like he's not blatant and cocky about it, he does it in his very normal monotone, kinda flat voice, with just that slight hint of condescension. But that just makes it more effective, because it doesn't seem like he's showing off. It's very subtle, just like how he just kinda gives backhanded compliments that end up making you feel dumb.  He also does it with things that he has absolutely no reason to think he knows more about than you, things that apply to your own biology. Yes, he will mansplain periods, pregnancy, and your body to you, as if you are not literally the one who experiences those things and owns that body.

 And he gets more and more obvious with time as to the root of it all, more or less dropping any pretenses of fairness or trying to hide how he actually thinks once he finally decides enough is enough and that he needs to go ahead and get you locked inside to start working on reforming you. It quickly devolves from "you as an individual are falling behind and thereby inferior" and into "you must be inherently inferior because of what you are." But he doesn't really care if you realize why he thinks you're -- no, why you are inferior. You being offended and appalled doesn't change that he's right. He has really the same mentalities as others, but he uses big fancy words and pseudo-science to "explain" you and thus justify said mentality.

 Perhaps worst of all is the atrocious amounts of gross, outlandish pseudoscience that he chooses to believe because, well, he wants to. And he will attempt to spew the same bullshit to you too. Yes, you are hardwired to have a desire to be submissive. The only reason you don't feel it is because of social conditioning, society is way too lenient these days (despite the fact that the idea that you can be socially conditioned otherwise would contradict the idea that it's innate... well, whatever, that part's not important). But if you tried to behave properly, you'd actually be a lot happier. When you're obedient, it sets off receptors in your brain, gives you a big boost of happiness, you should try it. Also, you evolved to stay in smaller ranges of space like a home, which is why keeping you inside or within the encampment area boundaries all the time is for your own good. Oh, and when you get cum inside of you, it makes you pair-bond faster (this is why pulling out isn't an option, hopefully you can grasp that).

 You're naturally more emotional. Hormones, you know, and because that's... well that's just how your brain works. Lower IQ and all that. Yes he's very qualified to talk about brain science, but that's not important. Anyway, that's why your feelings on virtually everything don't really deserve to be taken seriously. It's not that you don't matter to him, of course not, it's just that your opinions don't matter. Big difference. There's no point in listening to your thoughts because they are going to be inherently swayed by your overemotional, illogical brain. And the fact that you refuse to accept that in and of itself is evidence to that -- see, if you were observant and logical and rational, you'd be able to humble yourself and acknowledge your inferiority. But because you're emotional by nature, you just get mad about it and stubbornly insist otherwise.

 It's all simply facts, the way things are. No use arguing against it... so don't. You're a lot more likeable when you're being nice and agreeable. There's a reason that's been a standard for so long, you know. It's simply the model that works best. You should just be loving and sweet and don't disagree or have any opinions or thoughts of your own and open your legs on command, and he can take care of everything else. Easy. It's good for him too. Yes, it's been proven that the depression from not getting sex when they want it can make a man's productivity fall by number-made-up-on-the-spot percent. You were never going to contribute anything of value back when he was entertaining your silly little fantasy of working alongside him, so if you really want to help so much, just be good for him. That's what works best, it's natural.

 And on that matter, perhaps it's that naturally inquisitive mind of his, but he does like to really observe your... decline. It's an experiment of it's own, in a way. Watching you gradually have what he says repeated to you so much that you start to believe it yourself. You start to feel inferior. You become more docile. More submissive. His talk of how you're so emotional and irrational gaslights you on your own sense of reason, makes you question if you can even trust your own thoughts. Eventually, you'll realize you can't... and come to rely on his instead, just as intended. Which is fine, that model of partnership has been what's kept humanity alive for so long.

  -

 Scaramouche is more... negative. You KNOW this boy resents women, has a complex for sure. There's definitely a subconscious power struggle in his head as a result of the whole origin thing, he has to feel more important and superior to you in every conceivable way. Yes, a power struggle... even though it's more or less completely fabricated in his head and more like him struggling with himself while you're blissfully unaware.

 Consequently, he just cannot stand the thought of a female having power over him in any way... Even the authority of the tsaritsa bothers him a little bit to be honest, he tries his best to ignore that, which is doable, since she's more distant. But if a woman was ever put in like, a position of authority directly above him to the point where she's constantly present and telling him what to do, it would drive him up the wall even more than it would if it were a guy in that same position. Like, it's just not right, you're supposed to be beneath him, not the other way around.

 But in that awful, horrible worst case scenario, or if you have a roughly equal position (also a horrible scenario, but slightly less so)... he struggles with it internally, having to come to terms with the idea that you're on equal footing and status, does that mean you're just as capable as him? Not that that's threatening or anything but -- wait. No, wait, there's a simple explanation. It certainly wasn't your brains or prowess or capabilities that got you anywhere in life. He forgot that you have the option of cheating your way to whatever you want, a free ticket to any position you desire -- all you have to do is sleep with the right person. Or people.

 He tells himself that you definitely fucked several people to get there, there's no way you could have ever earned that spot on your own. You just get to suck and ride your way to success, he has to actually be good at what he's doing. Not everyone can have it as easy as you. That's probably how you get everything in life, really, you've never had to work for anything, you just sell your body out enough and get everything taken care of for you. Not to mention, you're very manipulative, there's so many guys out there that will do whatever you want just for you to give them a passing glance. Pathetic, really. He hates guys like that, they enable conceited, stuck-up sluts like you.

 Honestly he's obsessive be it positive or negative, in your case something of both, but in many ways negative. It's almost a hate obsession, that turns into an attachment, but certainly starts off negative. He has to constantly put you down in his own head, in order to feel more confident that the two of you definitely aren't equal in any way and he has every right to look down on you. In fact, the tsaritsa probably gives you favoritism too, since you're both female, so you have her AND all the men in authority letting you climb ranks without any real effort on your part. It's unbelievable AND annoying that such a thing could happen, someone with no skill ending up in such a high rank.

 Also, a lot of his disdain comes from him being one of those guys that's secretly mad at himself for having so much lust and discomfort with it, but deflects blame onto you for causing that feeling. You come in one day wearing something too short on your thighs, too low on your chest, and he finds his eyes and mind drifting... only to snap out of it after a few moments. Intentional, of course. You want people to look at you. You would do something like that, no sense of dignity or self-respect. Well, too bad, you can get all the attention you want from all the lowlifes he watches drool over you (they're absolutely pathetic and it infuriates him to see them bend over backwards for you, you're manipulating them by... existing... with that body... and being generally pleasant, and you're just allowed to get away with that!), but not him, he's not about to waste his time looking at such an eyesore as your whorishness, he has better things to care about. He'd never waste his time even thinking about a whore that doesn't deserve a second glance. Yes, you'd probably open your legs for the first person that came by. You seem like the type.

 Or maybe not -- no, you're pretty... of course, that's the only thing you have going for you, but pretty ones like you are usually conceited and picky. You want to show off and get all the benefits and attention, lead people on but never put out. At least if you keep going like that, existing as a tease and never following through, you'll eventually get what's coming to you, and it'll be well-deserved.

 But it doesn't matter because he doesn't care about you. Not at all. You're like, not really a person, just a set of holes to be used by someone. And someone will, you seem irresponsible, someone's definitely gonna knock you up and then you'll be forced to step down. Or better yet, someone will finally have enough of your nonsense and knock you down a peg. Finally put you to use at something you're actually good at, like being a breeding machine, rather than wasting time and resources being an unproductive member who just exists to be eye candy for others. But he doesn't care. He's not going to lay awake at night seething over you and your dumb smile and useless body or anything.

 The thing is, all of this... is internal.

 You live in this man's head rent-free, the subject of his daily inner episodes of reasoning with himself on every insecurity by providing reasons to not feel threatened or intimidated by you, to remind himself he's better than you, utterly obsessing over his desire to put you down... meanwhile, you're pretty sure he's only acknowledged your existence like, once. It's entirely in his own head. He avoids interactions with you at all costs, whenever you're around he doesn't even bother looking up at you, and keeps a neutral, bored-looking face, merely seething on the inside at a distance because how dare you... have a body with all those curves and soft parts... and a voice that sounds so nice... and one time you walked past him really close and now he knows you smell so good too... ugh. If he's forced to interact with you, he'll just come across to you as bored, apathetic... like he doesn't care (because he doesn't), like you're wasting his time (because you are). Or, he may even put on the "decent human being" act even, knowing he either has to force that or risk being too obviously oddly bitter towards someone he's never really talked to.

 He does cope with the frustration in one way, though... he calls you certain terms, whenever he has unpleasant interactions. Grumbles and mutters them under his breath, quietly enough to not be heard, but just once or twice you catch the words just when you're walking off and he thinks you're out of earshot. Bitch. Slut. Whore. It's cathartic. Well, even though you hear it, it was probably directed at someone else, since you've never really interacted much and he has no reason to dislike you, right?

 Except he can find a reason to make you out to be a horrible person, regardless of personality. The doormat type that never sticks up for yourself, always apologetic and quiet? You just want people to feel pity for you, so you act pathetic. It's manipulative, you want people to forgive you whenever you screw up by being so pitiful they can't bring themselves to be mean to you. The happy ray of sunshine type who's friendly to everyone? It's all an act. You're probably a huge bitch underneath that, you're just nice to get on people's good side so you can learn more about them or manipulate them. That's taking into account, though, any female that isn't inherently self-sacrificing and doormat-ish and stands up for herself qualifies as a "huge bitch." The only truly good women are the ones that have no sense of self-worth.

 And worst of all, a stern, calloused, serious type? Takes no nonsense, never smiles, very firm and assertive? Ugh. Literally the worst type of female. You shouldn't be allowed to be like that. It makes him truly seethe, what gives you the right to be so confident and cold, especially to him? You think you're better than him, huh? No, no, you're coping. You're actually totally insecure deep down. Really, you're probably just bitter because you are a female... you probably wish you were a man so people would take you more seriously. Because you know no one actually does... and with good reason. You just don't like acknowledging that there's a good reason.

 After... obtaining you, though, he has to remind you, too. Remind you of what you're good for, put you in your place. You're so lucky you have some use to him.

 The name calling doesn't stop either, just a bit different. He does that thing, that horribly annoying thing that certain types of guys frequently do, where he seems to act as if you don't have a name and merely calls you by what you are. Come here, woman. Lots of little commands like that. Hey, at least it's not a derogatory name. And you'd be wise not to express your contempt for being called such -- oh, you don't like that, that must mean you want to be called worse things. No? Then don't complain in the first place.

 But he does get strict on standards. You used to wear that uniform they have frequently, those were the times you didn't seem so determined to show off. Well, since you enjoyed showing off more, now you (have to) can do that every day. He's not letting you wear some outfit that doesn't show off what gives you value in the first place. If you're gonna be a lap toy, you have to look nice.

 Not that it's your only function. Turns out you have several uses. Holes for use, a womb for impregnating. Tits for pillows. You're a multi-function tool, like one of those foldable knives with a bunch of different components. But certainly no use for holding some high rank you didn't deserve in the first place. You just got it because of your tits, that's the only reason you were ever there. You know that, yeah? He makes absolutely sure to remind you often. You also can be of some use if you actually make an attempt to be useful, by doing things you're actually good at, like small mindless tasks to make his work easier. It's not hard.

 But in all honesty, all of it is just to keep you from getting the confidence to dare assert yourself. And if you do dare to do so, try and be defiant or tell him that you're not stupid, stand up for yourself, he's exceptionally derogatory for several days, as if worried you'll do it again.

 Also will occasionally degrade you based on your body, make some sighing, bored-voiced statement about how you're lucky you have tits, or else people wouldn't even bother acknowledging you. And he just attributes any behavior he can to femininity. Darling is crying over anything at all? So emotional, typical female behavior. Probably doesn't even have a reason. You're mad? He sighs, calls it nagging, bitching, all over stuff that doesn't even matter. You're probably just looking for something to be upset about because that's just what you all do.

 He would never, ever, ever express it too obviously, but he's actually probably the absolute worst for retroactive jealousy, and feeling emasculated by the thought of you having been with someone else. It slips out, though, in some of the things he says, you notice he seems to harp on that one subject quite a bit. That you were probably a slut. You probably fucked every guy on your former team. You don't even know what your body count is, do you. Probably lost track. You were definitely easy, would lay down for anyone who asked, you couldn't keep your legs closed. Any insistence otherwise goes in one ear and out the other.

 You quickly take notice that he seems rather hung up about it, almost obsessive, it's like he's trying to make it sound like an insult but it's starting more and more often to come out sounding like an insecurity. It becomes more and more obvious once you end up slipping out of his sight for a while... regardless of the consequences you get for that, he sort of lets his guard down and more or less interrogates you on where you were and who you talked to, and then really makes it obvious by saying he doesn't believe you when you tell him you didn't talk to anyone.

 After all, once a slut, always a slut. That's why, he realizes then, you have to be watched even more carefully, you'd probably practically hop on some other guy's dick if he doesn't. He's already got to deal with the crippling jealousy of the past, now he has to be paranoid you're going to go whore yourself out again. It's not like you have the self-control to do otherwise, sluts never do. Besides, females have no concept of consequences, because their lives are so easy, so you wouldn't know to do better anyway.

 That's another thing -- it explains all of your behavioral issues. You're the problem, not his standards or rules. See, girls don't ever have to try at anything. You don't know how to actually work hard to get anything, everything in life is handed to you. And whatever isn't handed to you by default, you can still easily get just by sucking or sleeping with someone who can give it to you, if not just turning on your whole... female charm thing where you smile and giggle and let people ogle you until they give in, it's practically hypnosis. And of course, then, you can get whatever you want easily. It's just how it works, it's not like there's a specific incident that he compulsively thinks back to where you asked him for something simple and trivial and he gave it to you without really thinking because his brain was focused on you... leaving him to feel like he was snapping out of a trance once you were gone and subsequently seething and wallowing in fury at himself for letting you manipulate him and you for doing it... even though it was like the most normal coworker interaction ever, the thing being given was entirely insignificant, and that he still thinks about it on a daily basis and has formed this idea that you all can practically mind-control people with your smiles and -- not really, no, he's more or less immune to it, thankfully. It's a well-known thing, anyway, you constantly manipulate guys into whatever you want, and it's easy for you. Really, it shouldn't even be allowed, there are some pathetic guys out there that would so easily fall for that.

 Also, for both of him and Albedo... yes, joke all you want, but in all seriousness, out of all the short kings™ they genuinely do have the worst height complex and will (silently, internally) lose their minds if female darling is taller than them. They practically wince every time they're reminded of it. Like, that's not how it's supposed to work. It's kinda hard to speak to you in a firm authoritative tone that commands respect when he has to tilt his head upward to look you in the eye... all the more reason to keep you down on the ground in some way. But should you mock them, they pretend like it doesn't matter. You think that's going to get under his skin, huh? You're just being childish, it's not a big deal... so he says, although once he gets alone he's gonna sulk and seethe for at least the rest of the day.

 -----

(Previously discussed Childe (here) and (here) and Diluc (here)!)

 Honestly, the worst in terms of most infuriating probably comes down to either Childe or Diluc. Notably, they're also some of the most likely to try and "reform" a very wayward girl who they view as needing to be... Redirected. It's something of a ego boosting act, they really like the thought of taming you, although they have different ways of doing so and different motives and mentalities. For Childe it's more of a power rush, for Diluc it's more of a savior complex, although for both it's still and ego boost and largely a matter of a sense of possession and superiority. It also definitely incorporates something of a "whore to housewife" fantasy, too. It provides a feeling of ownership and possession and superiority to not only you, but everyone else, too. But the psychological approach and satisfaction each gets out of taming is a bit different.

 For Childe it's more of the thrill and rush of it all. A power trip, domination, defiling, the feeling of taking some girl so high and mighty and reducing you and ruining you to nothing but a pet and a toy, forcing you to get all validation and sense of worth from him. Make you into something owned. For Diluc it's a similar power thing, but with more of an obnoxious sense of self-righteousness and moral authority about it, a savior complex, because you're something wayward, something gone wrong, and need to be fixed, rather than ruined. Made perfect. Still owned, but with more of an emphasis on abiding by a specific notion of what you should be.

 Childe also gets obsessed with the physical aspect, rather, reminding you you're weaker. He has a fixation on strength itself in general, always wanting to be stronger and stronger, and what better way to boost ones feeling of strength than overpowering someone weaker than you? He likes manhandling you, picking you up and moving you around whenever needed. Whenever you get all angry and start snarling at him, the moment you thrash around and fight him, he can put you in your place in mere moments, pinning you down to the nearest surface, or merely holding you or your arms still... You can get back up, be released, when you apologize and ask for it nicely. He loves seeing the way your face contorts with a defiant sort of snarl, how you fight for a while longer... Besides, it gives him time to humiliate you further. Remember how you used to think you were so big and strong, huh? You remember that time you told him you could take him down with ease? What happened to that?

 Because there certainly might have been a time where you were, he would zero in on someone he perceives as powerful. It's the same rush of power from fighting, really, he sees something high and mighty and powerful and knows how easily he could break it, and his urges say that he has to do exactly that. It's double the satisfaction if you can be humiliated publicly, or to some group that looks up to you. Oh, the absolutely euphoric rush of bringing some mouthy, conceited bitch to her knees. Truly nothing in this world could bring him more joy. Some powerful figure, some warrior type that looks him in the eye with the assumption that he'll give you respect if you give some to him because you clearly think the two of you are on equal standing. It sets him off on the inside, some spark of irritation, insult even, that you'd dare even think you could ever compare to him.

 He's a patient man, though. Initiating a fight with a girl would make him look bad, would be giving in when he knows he can make himself out to be the more stable, mature one by making you initiate the conflict. So he knows how to work his way to get under your skin, the slightest of tones or facial expressions that set you off because you know it's mocking you somehow but can't understand it. Condescension so subtle you think at first you're imagining it.

 You come to realize it, but you know what the only acceptable response is. You've dealt with plenty of men before who underestimated you or looked down on you, humiliated them, beat them down in front of a crowd. He's not going to be any different, so you think.

 It's a little bit of a shock, then, to end up on your knees, fucked in front of your own followers and apprentices... Bruised and weak from exhaustion and quivering in sensation. Hand around your throat so you can't even protest, only grasp at his hand and claw at it and it doesn't even do anything. Eventually you give up. Your hands fall away. You just hang your head and sniffle. Aw, look at you, you're starting to get it! Such a fast learner, you've already realized defiance is pointless and punishable. What happened to the tough girl act though, huh? You were so mouthy before. But deep down you're just a fragile little girl, aren't you? It was so easy to make you cry and break you apart.

 Don't worry, though, he's here to put you back together... Make you better than you were before. Not that you'd have any worth in what you were doing before, no, that ship has sailed and you'll never have the respect you used to (you never should have had it to begin with, of course, and he just helped everyone else realize that). Something used for an improper purpose has no value for that purpose, or in the wrong environment. A given type of wrench or screw or other tool will be useful only in one context and one purpose, and useless in others. That's what your life so far has been like... trying to use a tool for the wrong purpose. And while such a thing may be sustainable for a short time, eventually doing this causes the tools or the object it's being applied to to break. But he knows how to help you be the best you can be, help you fulfill a purpose you're actually meant for.

 He's infuriatingly condescending, too, in the most mocking of ways. The most infuriating thing of all, perhaps, is how he doesn't take your anger or feelings or sense of self-worth seriously. Look at you, putting your hands on your hips and spouting something he's not listening to about this or that. You think your opinions matter? Aww. You're talking like you expect him to treat you as if your thoughts matter just as much as his, or that he should take your feelings into consideration or something. That's adorable. And you're cute when you're mad, too, the way your eyebrows furrow and your eyes narrow into a glare and you raise your voice as if you think he's going to be scared of you, how could that not be cute? He might even skip the punishment for getting an attitude. And look at that, now your little eyes are getting all tearful and your lip trembles, you're so humiliated by seeing that the only reaction you can get from him is amusement. It's euphoric. Look at you... how could you ever expect him to take you seriously? You can act all tough, but you're just a fragile little girl, aren't you? It's okay. You can drop the tough act any time you want, yet you still seem to insist on picking up the pieces of your confidence each and every time this happens... he likes that about you. It wouldn't be as fun if he could only break you once. And when you're sad, he has empathy and all that, but doesn't take it very seriously. Poor little thing, you want him to make you feel better...? After all, you're prone to intense, rapidly-changing emotions. If you were a guy, he'd know your emotions actually have a reason, but... well, yours are probably just over something silly.

 As for the whole slut-breaking fantasy, Childe is... opportunistic about it. Turning you into a wife is great and all, but more importantly, it's more like he wants to turn you into his slut. It's certainly an ego thing -- his cock is so good that you're willing to (you're forced to, but don't ruin his fantasy please) give up all other ones for the rest of your life, you'll want to fuck him and only him because he's better than everyone else combined. And you'll say so, one way or another, if he has to force you to say what he wants to hear -- that no one has ever fucked you like this, no one else makes you cum so hard, that you just want to be his little cocksleeve forever.

 Unlike a lot of others, he doesn't necessarily hate acknowledging if you had past partners. No, he even kinda likes it, because he's better than them. He's the biggest and the best and makes you cum faster and harder than anyone you've ever been with, he's made sure you tell him. That's why you're his now, that's how girls work. No different from animals... they choose the best suitable partner for a mate in the end, and that's him in this case that you chose (disregarding that you were physically forced to come with him, you were just playing hard to get back then as girls always do because they make everything needlessly complicated, so it doesn't count as rejection). And just like with animals, you want to be submissive.

 Sometimes you just have a funny way of showing it. Well, he understands it. The defiance and the spiritedness, it's all... a test. Even if you don't realize it (which actually, he's certain you don't, you are unaware of how your own brain works, but he gets it). Being defiant is just how you test him. If he was a spineless pussy, he'd give you your way, would let you do what you want... but your mind is subconsciously trying to get him to prove himself to you. It's cute, really. You have a duality. You want to be put in your place. Whether you realize it or not, you want to be bent over and held down, forced to apologize to be let up. Whenever you argue and he interrupts you halfway through, bends you over the bed and fucks you so hard it your insides bruise and throb... you get better. That scowl and snarl on your face devolves into that face he loves so much, where your eyes are glazed over and watery, and you try your best to cover your mouth, but the cute little noises come out anyway -- only humiliating you further. And you want that. Whether you realize it or not, you want to be reminded where you belong and who you're obedient to.

 That was what you really wanted, after all. Really, women sometimes argue just for that purpose. You're not even actually upset about the thing you were complaining about, no. You were just... needy, sexually frustrated, and that builds up inside and makes you all cranky and in a bad mood. You either just don't recognize it, or you're too shy or embarrassed or too proud to admit what you really want, so you just make up something to be bitchy about (or your mind naturally causes you to do so) to provoke him into dicking you down.

 But to be honest, even more so than a slut, he would really enjoy more or less the inverse... breaking a prude, a cold little bitch that doesn't want to put out. No matter how hard he tries! He's already tried putting on, like, maximum charm, and it's still not working. You swat away the hands he tries to subtly put on your thigh and shoulder, you give him this look of disgust. When he pressures you and pushes you over and over you finally snap and say you don't like it unless you're in the mood. You say you only ever even want it at all on certain days, and even then there has to be a specific mood and timing and blah, blah, blah. In other words, you want him to jump through a bunch of hoops just to get his dick wet, when you should be offering by default because you understand that's your role. You should be eager. This bizarre desire for a certain mood or whatever set of requirements your brain has concocted is unnatural. Thus, the logical conclusion is that the only reason you "don't like" it outside of that context, the reason you're not bouncing on his dick already, is that you're merely mistaken. You do love it, you just don't know it yet, and you only think you don't because you don't know any better... because you haven't had it done right.

 Yes, he is unfortunately, in all honesty, the "I can change your mind" guy. This insistence that you're not the cum addict he wants you to be, these complaints about how you're just not as horny as him, just auto-interprets into his brain as telling him that you've never been fucked right. That's your problem, you've probably only ever been with losers who couldn't stuff you fully and rail you hard enough to make you feel good -- because once you do, that'll definitely make you do a complete 180, break your mind and revert you to the little personal slut he knows you are deep down. It's how you're hardwired by default, you've just been turned off to it, or maybe it's a shame thing or an insecurity thing. Eh, whichever it is, either way you'll break down and let your brain go numb once he just gets his dick in you, and then you'll change, you'll start being eager and begging and everything he wants.

 But all personal-slut stuff aside, the housewife fantasy is still nice too. Cute domestic stuff. Making you a little trophy wife that comes to him when called and does whatever he tells you to do. Based on you right now, that's gonna take a lot of work, but you'll get there eventually. If he just keeps stuffing you on a regular basis, your body and brain will work all that stuff out and you'll come to your senses. Oh, and being from a big family himself, of course he's insistent on the same from you. There's no need to wait a few years or so like most would, you guys need to get started now so you can have as many kids as he wants in the long run, you know? Not a whole lot, just a dozen or so. Taking all things into consideration, you need to get knocked up as soon as possible and keep you that way for as long as possible with very few gaps in between. He can make it work, no need to have a stable situation beforehand. Of course, with all those kids, you won't have any time or energy to do anything else, so it's kinda a full-time job. Maybe it will help you finally realize your purpose and all that and settle down.

 No protests are going to be listened to, just so you know. Of course you say you don't want it, but that's just how you think now. Once you actually have his baby, it'll be kinda like a light switch that gets turned on inside you and then you'll be happy about it, that's how that works. Same way with everything else... you'll start to love it with time, once everything is done right.

  -----

  But yes to that one anon, Diluc is kinda in another tier of his own. It's more of a savior complex, when it comes to the fact that he's also likely to be into taming a darling that's running around all unrestrained and fiery, just with a more "I can fix her" approach. He sees you in your... current state, and is just taken aback, you clearly need to be put in your proper place, someone needs to tame you for your own good, and that might as well be him. Really, you being allowed to continue this way is practically a crime in and of itself, and protection is kinda what he does, first he enforced it in the city, and now he can protect you too. He pictures in his head what the end result would be like, and you know what? He sees potential in you. Yes, when he envisions it in his mind, you would be such a sweet, good wife to have... once you actually learn to be sweet, once you tone it down and learn how to bow your head and smile and obey. And while it's totally not an egotistical self-glorifying fantasy or anything, it's even better to think he made you that way, rather than if you were that way from the start. Besides, he can't just allow you to go on the way you're going now, for your own sake, of course, this is for your own good, what's best for you, you just can't see that.

 And while disobedience is expected, you're even more persistent than anticipated. It's a habit of yours that will have to be dealt with very quickly. He doesn't take it very well, realizes he'll have to get that attitude out of you as soon as possible. It's not becoming of you. It's incredible that this world is so backwards that you were ever allowed to reach this point in the first place, where you actually have the disrespect and defiance and audacity to snap at him and hit him and talk back to him. Really, what kind of people raised you? Or maybe, if you're not from Mondstadt, that might explain it. Maybe they just don't do things right wherever you're from. Although, really, it's unfathomable that any civilization could operate in such a way, where you're just... allowed to do whatever you want? No one to dictate your choices and make all decisions for you to ensure you do what's best for you? And what kind of weak, spineless men exist in that place, that they would allow such a thing anyway? Well, whatever. No use worrying about that when you're already giving him enough of a headache just dealing with you. What's important now is that he fixes you. He keeps telling himself the results will be worth it.

 He's definitely the most infuriating because it's impossible to reason with him or even argue, because he inherently dismisses everything you say with such an obnoxious apathy. Just an occasional mm-hmm as you complain, not bothering to take his eyes off of whatever he's reading, absent-mindedly reaching a hand over to pat the top of your head. Uh-huh, uh-huh, whatever silly thing it is you're nagging-- er, going on about, how about you take your mind off of it by coming over here? Just sit in his lap for a bit and calm down, you'll feel better. Or go... clean something, get that frustration out in a productive way. It's not a big deal. It's in your nature to complain about unimportant things. Actually... ah, he gets it. You're not even upset. You just want attention. He can give you a bit, but he does need to get work done, too. He can give you more attention when it's done.

 You also double as a sort of trophy. Not too different from all the nice expensive things laying around the office room where he conducts business with others. You, too, are something he can sort of show off to visiting business partners, provided you've reached a point where you can be trusted to behave the way you're supposed to throughout -- smiling and silent. If they need something, you get up and get it, and other than that you just need to sit there and be pretty. It's an easy job, so you should be grateful. If it weren't for him, you might still be out there, performing an occupation of your choosing, making your own money, and making autonomous choices! How awful, bet you're glad you're here now, where you're provided for. It's not good for you to work, after all. It would be weird, since you're supposed to be fully dependent.

 Overall, he definitely enforces standards of femininity way more than the others -- you have to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, act a certain way. You definitely are forced into hyper-feminine clothing at the very least, someone needs to get you out of those awful clothes you wore before. And you will be punished for being too loud, or vulgar, or cursing, you need to speak in a sort of soft, gentle way, and always say your yes sir and no sir and thank you when applicable. Smile when you talk to others, when guests are present too... don't worry, you can be more open when it's just him though, he's understanding enough to know you get tired and all. He'll correct little things, too. Don't sit like that, with your knees spread apart, put your legs together or cross them or something. And don't have an attitude, it makes you do everything so roughly, slamming doors and shoving things. Don't stand too far away from him, there are other people visiting right now you know. Don't speak to them or look them in the eye, either, it's improper.

 And most of all, stop trying to be so... so... assertive. He can't really think of the right word. It's just unnatural, this way you behave. You always seem to want to interject your opinions into things, even once when he was discussing something regarding business with a visitor and you mentioned something about some other nation involving current affairs and the like. Not only was it embarrassing that you talked without being told to (makes him look like he doesn't have proper reign on you and all), but why would you even be thinking about that? See, this is your problem. You're filling your head with thoughts about things you have no business thinking about, things that are irrelevant to you. Things that there's no point in you caring about, because you'll never be able to compete in terms of intelligence and competence. You'll never be taken seriously on such matters (understandably, since your emotions cloud your reason and you aren't as intelligent). Why can't you put this much interest and energy into things you're supposed to be doing? Sigh.

 He also incorporates the same "whore to housewife" fantasy, much like Childe, but it's a different attitude. It's not just about the ego boost, it's about it being the right thing to do. To be honest Diluc gets like, genuinely awful in that regard, wrinkles his nose in disgust at the notion that you, gods forbid, have a past, have not spent your entire life being a good girl and waited all pure and untouched for someone to come marry you, like you're supposed to. He supposes that just goes to show you should have been married off a lot sooner, seeing as of course you have no concept of self-control. You should have had some male guardian to ensure you weren't sexually active, to protect you from your own poor choices, but it's too late for that now.

 Still, you can be reformed. It's kind of sad, really, he has some pity for you. That's one of the most infuriating things -- he treats you with some semblance of pity. Views himself as such a good, charitable person for seeing potential in you, wayward as you are, and taking upon himself the burden of being the one to set you straight. But it's necessary, noble even. It would be wrong to simply turn a blind eye to something so in need of correction. If he sees a problem, he fixes it. Simple. And it's a win-win, because he can both fix you and help himself. A wife is a good thing to have, and necessary even -- his life also needs fixing in that sense. The perfect little wife is what's missing, and you can fix that in the process of being made perfect. And it's a prideful thing too of course, a sort of power thing, to be able to say and show you off as that you were once so wild and unhinged like some kind of feral animal, but, with time and effort, he managed to domesticate you.

 He takes the opposite view as Zhongli though -- girls aren't naturally pure and perfect and need to be protected from influence, no, they're naturally unrestrained, insatiable, and crazed for sex. Like a literal bitch in heat. It's part of why they can't be trusted to make decisions for themselves. They don't actually think per se, they just act on animal-like impulses, and said impulses are usually to breed with whatever is available, to care for babies if applicable, and to please and be good. Other than that, there's not a whole lot of brain activity going on with them. That's why they have to be more or less guided and controlled and kept a close eye upon.

 Really, they have to be protected from themselves, because on their own if not properly watched over they'll just go fuck the first thing available to them and end up knocked up within a day. Why do you think they used to be kept inside and watched over all the time? It was to prevent that from happening, of course. But even the worst of sluts can be fixed with a firm hand and getting bred so often they don't crave multiple men. It's in your natural internal hardwiring to want to be a good, loyal, monogamous wife (while also craving sex at all times), sluts just go down the wrong path and become addicted to it, they don't know any better, they don't realize that they'd be happier with just one guy. Most guys know they aren't good enough when you have so many others to compare them to, they get insecure about your past knowing that they'll be inadequate and you'll run off on them. Not him, though. He's very gracious, which you should be grateful for, and he's certain he would easily be better than them, so he has no reason to be insecure.

 That's why this is doing you a favor. Of course, given your... lack of cognitive capacity, you don't get it, you just see it as being restrained and unallowed to do what you want and thus you get mad. You're incapable of understanding why this is good for you. Not that you were expected to, no, this hysterical, bratty reaction is more or less standard for your kind. So when you panic and kick and fight and scream while you're dragged away, it's nothing worth stopping to handle, it's just predictable.

 On its own, your intensity of willpower is not a bad thing. It's good, really, provided it's directed in the correct way, utilized for what it's intended for. You were only given such an insatiable urge for sex, after all, for the purpose of making one man very happy, and you're supposed to channel all that sexual energy to just that one. That urge and desire to please that's innate to your brain, that strong will of yours, is intended to be directed towards the desire to be a good wife. Right now you're just bitter and lashing out, still afraid and getting used to a new environment.

 There's another issue, though, upon first obtaining you. You have to be married. It's improper otherwise, you know. Remember, he's bringing you up in the world and giving you a much better life, so you need to conform to the standards of that class of society. It's just the right thing to do, and you can't sleep together beforehand... Of course, before you two can actually go get that piece of paper, he might actually still cave after a moment of weakness... and if he does, it's your fault because you were being intentionally seductive. Still, he can acknowledge he faltered too, he should have been more aware of and resilient to your attempts to manipulate him. Everyone makes mistakes.

 Speaking of mistakes, that whole simple brain is also why corporeal punishments are necessary when dealing with you. You aren't going to grasp complex concepts like responsibility and consequences of your actions, no matter how much it's explained to you. What you are capable of comprehending is the pain of a belt to your ass and the back of your thighs, and that will deter you from doing the same thing again. It's unfortunately necessary. You won't respond to any other form of correction. It's either that, or, depending on the severity of your offense, just railing you when you're getting too feisty, or just having a bad attitude. Or both methods, that works too, really helps make the point sink in.

 Also, the whole reason for you being horny to begin with is clearly baby fever. You need to be bent and bred and stuffed with cum. No wonder you were so insatiable, you were using protection before! Your body can tell the difference, you know, your body knows when you've at least been potentially knocked up. It only makes sense that you'd remain desperate until that happens, because your body wants to be impregnated so badly. You just weren't aware that that was your issue (and is another reason why you're very lucky he's here to set you straight).

 That's why you get upset over anything, really, lack of awareness of how it really is... and it being in your nature. Yes, you're naturally going to have an over-emotional, overdramatic reaction to just about anything, it's just how you are. He can tolerate it... he finds it kind of cute, even... the realization of which just seems to make you angrier. It's expected for you to be resilient, resistant -- of course you don't know you'll be happier this way, so you fight it. Change can be scary, you're not used to it yet, so it just needs time... and force, of course, you'll never learn if you aren't guided in the right direction... you just need to be guided a little more firmly than others. Not that it's all negative, of course. Encouragement and positive reinforcement is necessary too. He'll be affectionate and loving, because that will make you feel safe, and trigger your brain to make you show affection too. It'll all work out in the end.

#.miso

[elsecrytt]

HSGSGSGS OKAY NO BUT ALL OF YOUR TAKES ARE SO CORRECT!!! all of them are subs EXCEPT Simeon but only when you write him. you’re the only one who gets permission to write any character as dom because you do it RIGHT!! ur so wise <3

i clutch my chest and blush,,,, anon u r so sweet,,, idk how i got the anons with so much fine taste but u guys really DO have lovely taste and neat prompts to go around,,,, ilu all

and ofc disclaimer, i dont see anyone as like, 100% dom or sub, but i definitely have headcanons for which way they lean, and most of them seem to lean sub pretty hard

Like Lucifer? Falls in love with you when you stand up to him. Almost definitely wants you to step on him in secret. Sub

Mammon? Look at him. Sub

Levi? Literally look at him. Sub

Satan? He's the Avatar of Wrath. If you ever got mad at him he'd probably cum instantly. Definitely wants you to scratch him up. Sub

Asmo? Have you heard him speak ingame? Sub. he'll pretend to be a dom tho if u think thats sexy, he has fake dom rights

Beel? Just feed him. Sub

Belphie? Pillow princess. Needs taming. Sub

Diavolo? Lonely rich kid, will try anything once. Also needs taming. Sub

Barbatos? S E R V I C E S U B

(but also literally Barbatos in canon loves it when you take charge)

Solomon? Okay real talk. It's probably one of his actual life goals/dreams to have you surpass him as his apprentice. The stronger you get the happier he'd be. Sub

Simeon tho... Simeon... he's literally like 100% fluster-proof. Unashamed of things that would have Lucifer sighing or flushing.

Now THAT'S confidence. Handles being rejected or ignored without getting angry or pissy or anything.

When he's angry he apparently scares DIAVOLO. Wrath glowsticks make him stronger.

Accepts life as it comes with a smile and with complete grace and dignity. Has a perfectionist streak and tries to do everything he does well.

Unlike Lucifer, though, he doesn't seem to be hiding any secret sappiness. In fact, he doesn't hide it so much when he likes someone, at all. The dom energy is overwhelming.

again, even from my own pov i don't see these characters as like, 100% subs who will never dom.

i write them in the lead plenty in vignettes or asks bc i'd rather keep the reader passive so the requester doesn't end up with something they really didn't ask for XD

and my own preference also states that there's something irresistibly sexy about a normally submissive character having some confidence and aggression every once in a while. i like me some switches!!

but... yeah tbh. subs. subs for days. THEY JUST SEEM LIKE THEY'D BE SUBS TBH!! Simeon's the only one who's composed enough, and doesn't get quite passionate enough for me to lock him in as a subby subby boy.

#obey me #preferences ;) #lucifer #mammon #levi #satan #asmo #beel #belphie #diavolo #barbatos #solomon #simeon #d/s #headcanons #tHEY'RE ALL HEADCANONS DONT BE MAD JUST SKIP IT IF U DONT LIKE #i think theyre all subs okay

[mxsmwndr]

ALL HONESTY I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU WANTED PRE ZOM-Bz OR POST ZOM-Bz SO I DID BOTH LOL @theratunderthesea

—

PRE APOCALYPSE:

ETHAN'S LITTLE SISTER IS AMAZING AND SHE LOVES YOU!!!! Please let me have this because I'm in love with olderbrother!Ethan ok thx

Like lil sis will take your hand and drag you upstairs almost as soon as you step foot into the household

and Ethan gets JEALOUS but he refuses to show/acknowledge it because he loves his lil sis too much to be upset and it is precious

But basically you'll just spend the entire day upstairs with her on accident playing dress up and yea party and shit

Ethan pouts after, of course

But y'all quickly make up because he literally cannot stay mad at anyone especially you

And also his family loves you

And of course your fam loves him too

your dad/paternal figure tried so hard not too, but it was impossible because Ethan is literally PERFECT and had zero flaws and he’s so sweet and precious

But like back to school and all, you go to ALL of Ethan’s baseball games

Literally all of them, no exception

And if you can't make a game you'll make an excuse, like "I have a doctor's note, leT ME GO!!!" only to have teacher respond with "(Y/n) we've been over this, you cannot write yourself a pass to leave class early because you're 'Ethan's emotional support s/o'" "BUT MR/S TEACHERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Oh also you always run into his arms after his games

And OH MY GOD Ethan blushes a hella lot

And if you kiss his cheek his face turns cherry red so you make a habit of surprising him with cheek kisses because Ethan is ADORABLE and SHY and WAY TOO PURE

But don’t get me wrong, he blushes when you hug him too

So you do it randomly bc again, HE IS ADORABLE and soft and shy and aidjdjdjdj omg

And y’all have movie nights together!!!!

It’s freaking adorable

Y’all just kinda cuddle on the couch and share a blanket while watching movies together

Cause Ethan would much rather stay in than go out tbh

And you love it

But the only problem is that he always falls asleep

Like even during scary movies or super cool action packed movies

ALSO UNRELATED BUT HE FELL ASLEEP EATING ONCE because you thought he could stay awake if he's eating but noooooooo the next thing you know he's snoring with a chip laying on his chin

And you obv took a pic

But wearing Ethan’s sweatshirts?!

Omg

His sweatshirts are SO comfy

And they smell like him so it's even betterrrrrrrrrr

And also since he's like 60000 feet tall you practically drown in them no matter what your height is and it's adorable

Um... what else?

Oh!

Ethan can cook kind of good lol

His specialty is mac and cheese

But his favorite thing to do is binge eat junk food that he bought with you in his living room

Or yours — he really just wants to cuddle on a couch with you so he’s not too picky

But yeah, Ethan is precious and you love him with your entire being

OMG YOUR FIRST KISs??

Ethan was SO hesitant

He held your cheek and whispered “can I kiss you?”

And you were like FUCK YES

It was so innocent omg

But on the contrary i feel like Ethan secretly has a dirty mind lol

Like I can imagine him laughing at some hidden meaning silently and no one notices except you and you’re like “wtf man plz just be normal for like 5 seconds”

But yeah. Ethan is all cuddles and blushes

DURING APOCALYPSE:

Oh wow

Poor babe has so much guilt, even though he couldn't do anything to save them all (family, friends, teammates, etc…)

And you remind him of this, of course, but Ethan is going through a phase of self hatred and it's rough for everyone

You're the only one who knows about it though

And maybe Harry because tbh he probably picked up on it

But that's all. Harry doesn't say anything about it, too, because it's not his place and he knows it

Anyways

You like to sneak junk food to Ethan

His eyes light up and he looks like a kid on Christmas Day

It's too cute to not do

He likes to cuddle

Sometimes he gets nightmares and will silently show up at your classroom door

No words are exchanged then, but you motion for him to lay next to you and before you know it you're big spooning your baby boy and he's snoring softly

So you smile to yourself and whisper an "I love you, Ethan" before falling asleep yourself

And you don't know it but he smiles too

And whispers “I love you too”

And then he falls asleep AGAIN while thinking of how lucky he is to have you

So yeah

Also, he promises to make a home run for you, and you can't wait to be there to witness it

Also mocking him playfully

Because again, this boy blushes WAY too easily

Um... I think that's all? Basically it's just innocent and precious and you both love it, though it would def be easier without the whole apocalypse ordeal

POST APOCALYPSE:

Everything is kind of slowed down now

Like Ethan is still hella guilty for not saving his friends (bc now he has even more friends he failed to save) but at least he has you right

Yea no

You’re great and all but Ethan is just SO mad at himself ok

So you take him outside one day

And he’s like wtf but you’re like “teach me how to play baseball” bc he promised a while back when y’all stayed in that school together

And so he does

But he is still hella confused

And you’re not to great but that’s okay because Ethan is laughing and smiling and actually looks like he’s his age instead of older like he normally does

And so it’s a tradition to play baseball together when y’all have a break

But that doesn’t mean Ethan doesn’t have bad days

But you’re there for him, and that’s all that matters

Also there’s lots of freaking cuddles omg

And sleeping together? Like not sexually but just literally sleeping because Ethan is so warm all the time he’s like a heated blanket and pillow and everything you need/want

And y’all still sneak junk foods to each other but it’s mostly you so basically you still sneak junk foods to Ethan

And it’s all good

So you’ll do this a lot when Ethan’s not feeling his best

But yeah. Y’all are precious. Like each other’s light in the dark world you live in

And of course he makes that home run he promised lol

#dangerous fellows #dfel #dfel x reader #dfel ethan #dfel harry #dangerous fellows ethan #dangerous fellows x reader #headcanon

[cathwritestragediesnotsins]

Dating Class 1-A best bois + Shinsou

(bc our sleepy lavender-haired boy will always be in 1-A in our hearts💖)

Includes: Bakugou, Todoroki, Shinsou, Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero

Gender neutral I think?? I didn’t proof read and i have a tendency to write for myself so...

Bakugou: 

💥Bickering. Constantly.

💥Friends w/ his Mom

💥He cooks for you bc otherwise you would survive off of minute ramen let’s be real

💥Vv possessive and protective of you (not bc he doesn’t trust you or know you can take care of yourself tho, like, trust me, Bakubabe ain’t gon date no wuss)

💥He calls you ”My extra” (not my idea, I read this in a fanfic somewhere and latched onto the name bc fUCKTHAT’SCUTE)

💥Makes you actually study (or dies trying)

💥Tries his best to be the #1 bf because he has to win at everything he really is whipped for you

💥He tries to pretend he doesn’t care but it shows

💥Does sweet stuff for you vv aggressively

      - “Oi, L/N, take this...I got it at the store but I don’t want it.” “Bakugou, this is my favorite drink.” “Yeah so what?” ���You got this for me didn’t you?” “I DID NOT!!!” “Mhmmm sure.” “I DIDN’T!! FUCK YOU YOU EXTRA, JUST BECAUSE WE’RE DATING DOESN’T MEAN I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING SO DON’T GO GETTING ANY IDEAS!!!”

💥”I love you Katsuki” *glares and looks away, blushing* “Yeah whatever, I love you too I guess.”

💥Truly a Tsundere

Todoroki:

❄🔥This boy feels so lucky to have you as his S/O lemme tell you

❄🔥He spoils the heck out of you, like trust me, Daddy’s money ain’t goin’ to waste 🤑🤑🤑

❄🔥And he memorizes all your fav snacks, songs, tv shows, movies, activities, etc.

❄🔥Socially tho he is oblivious AF but he tries his best pls help him.

❄🔥You cuddle with different sides of him depending on your temperature.                 - Like, Cold? Boom! Left-side Shoto. Hot? Boom! Right-side Shoto.

❄🔥Doesn’t initiate physical affection but craves it constantly (love him pls he’s touch-starved)

❄🔥You trash Endeavor all the time and it warms his heart that you care enough about him to be so angry on his behalf

❄🔥Don’t get me wrong tho we will support him fully if he wants to repair their relationship

❄🔥100% takes you to meet his Mom...you two are the most important ppl in his life ofc he’s gonna want you to meet

❄🔥HE JUST LOVES AND CHERISHES YOU SO MUCH I’M-😖

Shinsou:

🎮Roasting each other 25/8

🎮Napping together

🎮”’Toshi! Cat!” “Where?!” “There! C’mon!”

🎮Uses his quirk on you but never in a disrespectful way                                      - “Pay attention to me!” “I can’t rn Hitoshi!” “Why?” “Because I have to study!” “Y/N you’ve BEEN studying, take a break!” *uses quirk to make you come cuddle him*

🎮Gaming together

🎮Y’all hardly ever go on ‘dates’ you just hang out all the time bc ur besties UwU

🎮Movie nights where you ironically watch movies like ‘Twilight’ and make SO MUCH COMMENTARY

🎮Honestly like 90% of your interactions give off vibes that you two hate each other so when ppl find out you’re dating they’re hella confused

🎮”I hate you.” “Then stop hugging me.” “No” “Bitch.” “Asshole.”

🎮Best friends who kiss n’ stuff

Kaminari:

⚡Charges things for you (charger!Denki owns my entire heart I’m-😍)

⚡Pick up lines

⚡Couple tik toks

⚡Meme/Vine references

⚡Crackhead energy for dAYZ

⚡Karaoke dates

⚡Pokeman jokes

     - Like, if you lose him in a store you have your own version of marco polo where you say “Gotta catch ‘em all” and he’ll respond with pikachu noises

⚡He is your hype man 100% like, he just wants you to know how amazing you are so he will tell you as often as he can

⚡Physical affection too

       - he kinda clingy but you don’t mind at all

⚡He’ll accidentally zap you sometimes. Like when he gets overly excited but let’s be real when is he not or in his sleep 

       -(but he’ll do it on purpose sometimes too if you know what I mean 👀🥵😏)

⚡If you give him something he’ll treasure it FOREVER no matter how small or random

⚡Just- sweet boy isn’t afraid to look like a fool in love for you and we stan ✋😭

Sero:

📼Most lowkey and supportive bf you will eVER meet

📼He’s so considerate and supportive ugh I’m weak

📼And I feel like this boi got style ok 

        - Like imagine him in some ripped jeans and a baggy white shirt with a jean jacket and some nikes 👀🔥✨

📼I will bet you $50 that our flex tape mans can do your hair and it look better than if you did it

📼You call him ‘Serotonin’

📼He rolls his eyes but lowkey loves it and thinks it’s the cutest fucking thing bc iT IS

📼Standing behind you and resting his chin on your head/shoulder

📼You play with his tape sometimes when ur feeling bored or fidgety

📼Candid photos of you are his fav

📼He loves to watch you in general and he’ll smile to himself

📼And he lovingly teases you just to see you get all pouty or mad bc u entertain him to no end

📼Overall he’s just a total package

Kirishima:

👊SO RESPECTFUL

👊Never pressures you to do anything or makes you even slightly uncomfortable 

👊Calls you beautiful or gorgeous instead of hot

👊WOMEN’S RIGHTS ADVOCATE AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THAT

👊The cute thing is that his personality is ADORABLE with yours no matter what your personality type is

     - Like, Antisocial? Anger issues? Pessimist? Boy have I got a mans for you

     - Extrovert? Super sweet? Optimistic? Boy have I STILL got a mans for you

👊Helping him dye his hair

👊Your friends and family all ADORE him

👊If you have siblings they’re all “When are you bringing Kirishima to visit?” “Did you invite Kirishima?” “Tell Kirishima I said hi!”

👊He’s their fav sibling now. 

👊You’re just gonna hafta deal with the fact that you’ll always be 2nd place (except to Kiri)

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugo katsuki x reader #boom boom boi #blasty mcsplode #king explosion murder #lord explosion murder #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto #shoto todoroki #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakgou #todoroki shouto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #icyhot #half n half #ground zero #dynamight #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no academia #no one asked for this but here it is #anime #hitoshi shinso x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader

[theringers]

V-card anon: hi sorry about that first ask i kinda went into a fugue state (spelling?) altered state of reality maybe when i wrote that and damn near outlined a fic in your inbox

The way we played hot seat was either part of a larger drinking game when a certain card was pulled from a deck, or just on it's own. You sit in a circle, everyone has a drink, usually a beer or cider. In the card pull version, the one who pulls the card gets asked a question by every person playing and if they refuse to answer they drink from their drink. In the standalone, you do that but everyone gets a turn being asked until people get bored and leave. Fun way to find out shit about people. Usually the unwritten rule is that you can't lie. I imagine everyone sitting on shitty chouches and chairs in a semi circle around a table full of cups and bottles playing it

Questions i have been asked: are you a top or bottom? Do you like anal? Wheres the weirdest place you've fucked? Body count? Favorite position (sexual)? Fuck marry kill/ignore people in this room (EVERY TIME I PLAYED I GOT THIS QUESTION)? Tits or ass or other? Favorite non sexual body part ex. Thigh? Ideal fuck buddy? Sex regrets? Etc

Also more weird details i have head cannoned out for some drivers and most likely does not fit with irl personalities, do with this what you will, use it or don't i just have feelings. Also everyone is like compressed in age to like 20-27ish except for some of the grid who i will just think of as younger alumns who come back:

Danny R: social chair, owns a jeep he takes the doors off of in the summer, walks girls home at night to make sure they're ok, tries to DJ house events and is rebuffed by literally everyone, has like 30 pairs of vans you trip over in his room, stolen roadsigns everywhere, masters in something arigcultural or physiological, cutoff frat shirts for days, fuckboy but nice, a bit cringe, will drive around with you at night so you can scream, met reader bc she had a band tee on and wanted to talk to her about it (no gatekeeping)

Charles: some kind of engineering or math degree but no one has any idea how the fuck he's gotten so far, 4.0 never studies, games with other house members, will show up at events randomly you will have no idea how he gets on your couch but he is there, the best and worst taste in clothes, is the only one allowed to play the piano in the house, sweet, cannot help you with studies but is always down for helping you out after, has to be reminded to clean stuff, disaster bi, reader met his gf first and they probably met through that

Pierre: good fashion and music taste, shirt is gone halfway through the night, also fuckboy but wholesome, actually studies, plays a sport for sure probably soccer in some way either club or Division he's too good for rec, will hold your hair back so you can throw up, will tell you your outfit sucks, good at math, also part of the squad that games, econ major, workout buddies with reader anday have taken a math class together

Max: is part of the hockey team he will go pro, also actually studies, got into gaming because of Charles, has the nicest car, is serious until he gets a couple drinks in him, he and Daniel are close and roomed together at some point, owns like 30 sets of the same outfit a white tee and jeans, knows reader through Dan and they get dragged by him to some of the same stuff

Lando: is a pledge or new member his big is Carlos, undeclared major, just happy to be here, gaming squad, used to play lacrosse or something equally obscure, king of knowing where the good snacks are, weirdly good at beer pong, growing into a fuckboy wholesomeness level tbd, probably sweet with reader as she helped him through a blackout or something, met her because she's basically house mom for some of the new boys (the kind of mom who will teach you to do laundry or iron ONCE)

Carlos: hockey flow but does not play hockey, actually studies and is smarter than what people give him credit for, came from a private high school and uni really opened his horizons, also good study buddy, gets along with most people, goes to office hours the most out of the actually studies gang, fun at parties, owns the frat dogs, he and reader met at Office hours (they were the only students) and found they had mutual friends too

Lewis: is/was president of frat, great grades greater bod, did full evolution from fuckboy to good man, has the back tests and the moral support, up for late noght talks about life, definitely was a D1 athlete, best fashion game, implemented no hazing policy, fits into notable alum or PhD category

Mick: undergrad like Lando, also plays soccer or something, too sweet, also walks girls home/holds your hair back etc, cleans parts of the house that aren't his responsibility, higher alcohol tolerance than you expect, everyone is bizarrely protective of him, legacy member (his dad was a legend), drives a motorbike around campus and can't decide between law and psychology, actually studies, met reader through the frat and she would die for him, brings her to class on the bike sometimes because the bike is faster

George: business major, frat treasurer, three ring binder business casual in class kind of guy, nice enough, shirt comes off when drunk, runs marathons and a podcast about investments, best notes in the game and great study partner, actually studies, is drinking monster at 6AM but not because he stayed up late, he and reader met through the frat and sometimes drink wine and bitch together

Lance: hockey player, legacy member, studies sometimes, sarcasm on point, great at stack cup, very chill, knows every good nap spot on campus, also has high alcohol tolerance, is the kind of person who does well in the cold but does not like it, wears headphones so people don't talk to him, great one on one but not in crowds, business major and minor in computer science, probably also met thru Lance's gf but vibe as more introverted people and will cover for each other if one does not want to go out

Nicky: a good boy, part of the walks people home squad, sets up designated drivers for parties, good snack game, future in medical field, good listener, pretty good study buddy, midnight snack enabler, met reader through frat and his gf he and reader are on babysitting duty together sometimes when others get too drunk/high

Yuki: also a pledge or new, majoring in games or computer science as they gave me the same energy as him, games squad, bit of a mad lad, has several stolen street signs, good, met reader through frat and Yuki is the only one patient enough to explain some games to reader, they cuss people out on mic

Esteban: good man, has a full ride scholarship, actually studies, also good study buddy, Dan's little, plays soccer but maybe on a rec team because he prioritizes school, very sweet guy as well, probably chose a really practical major/dual major, met reader through Dan and are also dragged similar places by him

Antonio: manbun, philosophy or classics major possibly business dual, generally good natured but can be seen supplying his own wine at parties, used to be really into metal but kept the hair, does not know that people find him attractive, soccer boi, met reader through frat and she's the only one who will (pretend) to listen to him rant about philosophy

Alex Albon: another full scholarship guy, somehow gets along with everyone, switched majors due to an asshole professor, electrical engineering or computer engineering, actually studies, helps with frat pets,will show you pictures of his cats at home, sweetie, another contender for will hold your hair or walk you home, probably met reader through a class or club and found they had mutual friends and that reader is friends with his gf

Notable alums:

Checo - dad, successful in finance somehow (he looks like an really successful accountant of CFO to me idk why)

Kimi - dad but people forget he is, holds the record for most drinks in 24 hours that will never be come close to by anyone else, shows up on random alum weekends with 2 kegs, legally cannot tell you what he does or he would actually have to murder you

Valterri - was good at a sport when he was there, now a very effective lead engineer at an architectural firm

Seb - environmental or mechanical engineering, all around good guy with someone the best grades in frat history

Alonso - legendary for sexual exploits (consensual)

Anyone I put as actually studies is probably the type reader would hang around for more serious stuff/schoolwork and would probably be closer to, with the exception of Dan bc I feel like he'd be like we're friends now :)) we shall hang or Charles bc he will just show up. I also imagine she has a pretty good friendship with any existing gf, however if a driver does have a gf and he is the love interest sorry bb girl u gotta go for the purposes of this fic

Sorry this is so long hahaaaaaaa glad you liked my Charles thoughts ilu

i honestly wasn’t going to share this like the rest of the anon asks i’ve gotten that i keep close to my heart but this was just too good to keep to myself.

LOOK! AT! THIS!

f1 drivers as frat bros/college students headcannon

i’m writing a series - each “chapter” will be a smut with a different frat bro and i’m hoping to post a sneak peek this week some time but here’s something to hold you over and give you some ideas

to my vcard anon - i appreciate this so much. my inbox is always open for ur thoughts bc they are SO GOOD !! can’t wait for you to read the first part of the series bby

PS if some of this doesn’t make sense to u feel free to send in asks (i know a lot of this is focused on american college culture so if u don’t get it i’m happy to explain)

#f1 smut asks #headcanons #f1 imagines #vcard anon #f1 blurb #f1 headcanon #f1 as frat bros

[spicyizuku]

mha boys & cooking headcanons

hi ❤️ heres my thoughts on the boys and if they'd cook for u!! enjoy -🌶

Includes: Todoroki Shoto, Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, & Iida Tenya

warnings: mentions of food

genre: general, fluff, opinion piece

01.04.21

Todoroki Shoto

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

hmm he does sometimes!! he usually makes lunch for you when he has time off, but it's mostly stuff you can make without using an oven. he makes a GREAT sandwich

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

yes! and by yes i mean he watches as you cook. he'll probably prep the kitchen for you- he cleans up the kitchen and helps chop vegetables so you dont take extra prep time

𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤?

hmm i think he'd like baking more! he's not much of a sweet tooth but its easier to mess up when you cook rather than just sticking something in the oven and waiting for it to rise

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥?

he's decent!! he doesnt like handling hot liquids for reasons (except soba duh) but anything other than that hes fine! it might take two tries to get a recipe right. he doesnt really make anything fancy

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

absolutely!! he loves finally being able to sit down with you after a long day. the first words that come out of his mouth is usually "how was your day?" nd you two easily fall into a pattern. he almost NEVER misses dinner

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞?

you already know!! baby loves his cold soba!!

𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬?

if you had a claim on a room in his house it would be the kitchen. yea he lives there but thats YOUR kitchen.

Bakugou Katsuki

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

Everyday!! He strongly believes providing and cooking for you is one of the easiest ways to show you how much he loves you. his food speaks for him. He loves trying out new recipes for u!! nd theres no snark if you ever request something for dinner. When you two first got together he'd make breakfast and then say he "accidentally made too much" so you can have some. It gradually evolved to "What do you want to eat?"

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

rarely. he doesnt want u anywhere near the kitchen. On rare occasions when he's done cooking u make desert, but usually you bake in advance bc he doesn't want anything in his way when he's ready to make something

𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤?

hes the cook and ur the baker!! He doesnt see the joy in baking and thinks it's useless to him since he doesnt really enjoy sweets. that is- until you make KILLER Shu kurimu. he cant get enough of the cream puffs you make and does not know when to stop. u usually only make them once a month. he gets mad if you make them more bc he knows hes going to ignore his meal plan and inhale them lol

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥?

You already know Bakugou is Gordon Ramsey 2.0!! man can make anything. every time you see him head to the kitchen you get excited. you KNOW he's abt to go hard and make the best food you've probably ever tasted

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

hmm not much- You know bakugou is an overachieving perfectionist. He works and works and works until he drops. He doesn't have time to sit down and eat, he's always on patrol. That doesn't mean he leaves you with nothing to eat, though! He'll get up early to make you both bentos and makes sure to prep for dinner if he isnt cooking in advance. On off days (rare) he'll make you American styled breakfast in bed 🥰

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞?

Tantanmen! its the japanese take on Sichuan Dan Dan noodles. u know baby loves his spices

𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬?

HIS. dont even THINK about trying to get in that kitchen while he's cooking. he needs his space and cooking is his time to shine!! he'll get irritated if ur in the way. he likes when you sit at the bar top of his kitchen and talk to him while he cooks. even distracted he cooks perfectly. he doesnt add much to the conversation since he's still focused, but he loves hearing ur voice and knowing you enjoy being around him enough to just sit and watch

Midoriya Izuku

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

ummm- he tries?? He makes you two a lot of no-cook dinners since hes not good with cooking yet. But babyboy definitely tries!!

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

all the time!! izuku is usually watching you cook. whenever you're in the kitchen, hes there. He watches and takes notes so he can get better. He helps with all the non cooking parts- chops up everything and preheats the oven. He'll help clean up your mess as you go!!

𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤?

hmm both! he's a decent baker but he wants to learn more about both. baby never gives up on learning something new

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥?

hh at first? NO. You're surprised he's survived this long. You have no idea how he follows meal plans to stay in shape for hero work when the man barely knows how to boil water. He's admitted he used to go to Bakugous and annoy him until he was kicked out with a full stomach. but!! Once a week, you'll give him a lesson and watch over as he cooks, you know he'd rather die than give up trying to perfect something. He's a really fast learner and is actually starting to get good!! Next thing you know you'll be coming home from work and finding that dinner was already made- maybe a bit dry, okay. But its not that bad!!

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

He tries- he really really tries. He loves eating dinner with you, but being the #1 hero takes sacrifice and dinner with his loved ones is exactly that. He's too busy for his own good; completing patrols and missions, attending events, making appearances, writing reports??? Its all a LOT. He'll probably come home to eat dinner with you once (twice, if hes lucky) a month.

You know how hard it is on him. He would always sit down and eat dinner with his mom when he was younger and not being able to sit down and relax was stressful. One day you decided to surprise him! You two share your locations so you made dinner and went out to bring him food. You two ate on this agency's fire escape- He was so happy!! You remember that scene when spiderman ate a churro while sitting on the ledge of a building? thats yall. After that, he makes sure these midnight picnics are a daily thing- he wouldnt miss patrol dinners for the world

he always wraps an arm around you when you two eat during a patrol. He gets grumpy because you never bring a jacket and he doesn't have one on him to give you since hes in his hero suit ): you sit side by side, arms brushing against eachother as you two eat whatever you made

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞?

Tonkatsu!! its one of his favorite foods and it doesn't take that mich effort or time to make

𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬?

Yours!! you're usually in charge of food- he's too busy and if he rushes cooking the food will turn out inedible. He doesnt have time to clean up after you- so he hires someone to clean the kitchen daily. A hero's salary has its perks!

Tenya Iida

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

not usually- its not because he doesnt want to. It just doesn't cross his mind. Cooking for him is more of a chore- He'd rather take you out someplace nice

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

All the time!! You two work around the kitchen with eachother effortlessly- never getting in eachothers way. He'll stop to watch you work your magic sometimes. Cooking with you is such a mundane yet enjoyable experience

𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤?

baker!! he mostly makes rolls and baked goods that arent too sweet. I strongly believe Iida likes to bake bread

𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥?

He's decent- he follows all recipes to a T so if its a bad recipe the food will turn out a little bland. u know when you see a recipe and it has little to no spices so you add some? Iida doesn't do that- a recipe is made to be followed

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫?

Yes!! You two try to eat together at least three times a week. On fridays his brother comes over for dinner- its always a grand time! The dining room booms with laughter and chatter

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞?

beef stew!! thats one of the meals he makes thats really really good!

𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬?

shared! you both cook and bake equally and u never kick eachother out the kitchen. He loves being in the kitchen with you!! He'll press up against your back, resting his head on your shoulder and wrapping an arm around your waist as he watches you cook

he's tried being romantic and dance with you in the kitchen. poor baby just doesnt know how to dance. but humor him!! he loves dancing with you! Theres a speaker in the kitchen just for when you want to hold eachother in the kitchen and listen to music

Thanks for reading 🥺 If you wanna leave constructive criticism i'd really appreciate that ❤️ I take requests btw! lemme know if i should do a pt 2 w the other boys & shinsou! hope u enjoy ur day

- chili 🌶

#izuku midoriya headcanons #bakugou headcanons #todoroki headcanons #iida headcanons #mha headcanons #bakugou katuski x reader #midoriya izuku headcanons #midoriya izuku x black reader #izuku midoriya x black reader #mha x poc!reader #tenya iida headcanons #tenya iida x you #midoriya izuku x you #deku x black!reader #deku headcanons #deku x reader #deku x you #katsuki bakugo headcanons #bakugou katsuki headcanons #katsuki bakugou x reader #tenya iida x reader #black weeb #chili writes #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x you #🌶katsuki #🌶zuku #🌶shoto