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heehoonieluvs · 8 months

Text

Please look at me

Sunghoon x reader

Fluff, angst

The way that the members are depicted in this story has nothing to do with how they really are or how I feel they are. It is all solely for the storyline so please bear that in mind 🫶

Summary: After realising how wrong he had been about your intentions, Sunghoon had been trying so hard to get you alone to have a talk and make it up to you. But the difficulty in expressing his feelings into words made things a bit more difficult

F/N = female name

Warnings: cursing, arguing, name calling, alcohol consumption (please let me know if I need to add more

Series masterlist

Masterlist

*Flashback*

The boys had just finished their team meet up during lunch but Sunghoon took his time in the shower whilst the rest of the boys rushed to the library to find a nice booth. As he exited the changing rooms, he was instantly met with an irritating voice

“Hoonie! There you are!” F/N’s squeal rang through the whole corridor, causing Sunghoon to roll his eyes as he turned towards her.

“What do you want F/N? I’ve told you to stop calling me that stupid name” his face was so cold towards her that it shocked the other students when F/N carried on with her antics

“Don’t he silly Hoonie it’s so cute. I was just wondering if you’re free anytime soon to go clothes shopping with me for my birthday party?”

“Look F/N, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. I’m not interested. Leave me alone and go bother someone else” he snapped

“What’s wrong with you Hoonie? Is it that skank Y/N? She’s fucked with your mind so she can have you all to yourself hasn’t she?” Her eyes narrowed as the harsh words spilled out of her mouth

Sunghoon didn’t know why but the way F/N spoke about you really pissed him off. The thought of anyone calling you such disgusting names caused him to clench his fists

“Don’t you even dare call Y/N that. She’s nothing like you so don’t try and drag her down to your level” he didn’t know what came over him as he came to your defence. He usually would give a shit, never mind speak up when anyone talked about someone who wasn’t his family or group of friends

F/N’s eyes widened and the students around them gasped at his outburst. This was the first time they had seen Sunghoon show any sort of reaction to anything

“Oh my god. You like her don’t you?” F/N scoffed

Sunghoon couldn’t think of anything to say to her. Did he like you? Your smile was enough to brighten his dull day. The way you took the time to cook for him and his friends and even spend more money to make sure that they were fed properly gave him butterflies. And after seeing you look so adorable whilst watching him at rugby practice made his heart race more than it already was from running.

F/N took his silence as confirmation and couldn’t stand it

“Well just so you know, Y/N is a two-faced bitch. I overheard her talking to someone in her class saying that she wanted to gain your attention by being all nice and sweet to you and your friends so that she could sleep with you. And the other day when I went to ask Sunoo where you were, she was so horrible to me and even raised her hand to slap me. She was so crazy that even Sunoo had to step in to stop her but she said that I was just trying to steal you away from her.” She took a breath dramatically before carrying on

“I know I should’ve told you before but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. However you deserve to know the truth. The other day, she was asking Sunoo so many questions about what you liked and your ideal type. But then she threatened Sunoo to not tell you about what happened when he refused to say anything. He’s too scared to burn his bridges with her since her parents have connections to the school and could easily make his life hell. So he does all of this for her so that she won’t ruin his future. I care about you. And your friends. I’m here for you Hoonie”

She reach up to cup his face but he flinched back

“I need time to think” he mumbled before turning to make his way to the library

*Present*

The next day at lunch felt extremely intense. Sunghoon had confessed to the boys about him snapping at you and explained how F/N’s words had fucked with his mind to the point where he just spewed a load of a load of bullshit to take it out on you. The boys couldn’t come up with the words to say as he was explaining everything. His eyes were downcast as he could feel the burning glare from Sunoo piercing through his skull

“You shouldn’t be explaining this to us. Tell it to Y/N and apologise for not only talking to her that way, but for breaking her heart. She never mentioned anything about liking you but I could tell that she did. And I know you like her too. So how could you be so stupid for believing that bitch F/N when you know her history of trying to suck up to you? Did you really think that Y/N was capable to be so heartless and threaten me? I’ve told you from the start about how much we care about each other and in all honesty, I’m hurt that you also believed F/N’s words over mine” Sunoo couldn’t hold back his tears before getting up and leaving the table to find you

“Sunoo I’m s-” Sunghoon’s words were cut off as Heeseung’s hand patted his shoulder

“Hey just let him cool off ok. I’m sure that once you’ve all gathered your thoughts, you can have a talk with him and Y/N and things can get better” Heeseung’s comforting words caused him to break down and bring his hands to his face

“What do I do hyung? I fucked up so badly and I don’t know how to make it up to Y/N” he sobbed

The boys felt so bad for their crying friend as they knew how hard it was for him to express his emotions. So seeing him break down like this in the cafeteria showed them just how guilty he was.

“Don’t worry Sunghoon hyung. We’re here for you all and we promise we’ll help you through it all”

Sunghoon sniffled and brushed his tears away “I really appreciate it Jungwonnie”

He was going to make it up to you. He needed to.

The next day

It was so hard for you to avoid the boys yesterday but you were scared that Sunghoon had told them all of the lies that he had accused you of and no longer wanted to be around you. Your heart ached seeing them in the cafeteria together so you quickly left and ate your lunch outside on your own. You were scared to think that Sunoo may have believed that you were using him but that thought was quickly diminished when he ran up to you with tears streaming down his face. You told him about F/N confronting you and he asked why you didn’t come to him for back up and that he would’ve been there when you needed him.

It was safe to say that the two of you were bawling your eyes out and as a result, you both came into class today with puffy eyes. You guys did have a bit of a laugh after seeing each other’s swollen faces so that was at least something that brightened your day a bit

“Um Y/Nie, I know things are a bit weird at the moment but do you think you’ll sit with us at lunch today? We all missed you and the whole vibe was miserable” he pouted, puffing his cheeks out slightly

You couldn’t resist yourself and poked his cheeks before sighing “I don’t know Sunoo. I think I still need some time away. This isn’t me trying to end my friendship with the boys because I’d never do that, but it would be wrong for me to stay around and make it feel like you guys had to choose a side. I’ll just go to my usual spot so if you ever want to join me, then feel free to do so”

He gave you a pitiful smile at your words. Seeing you so upset and feeling like you’re at fault shattered his heart. But he knew not to push anything and that you needed time

“I understand Y/Nie. But I’ll still come to eat with you though. You don’t chew with your mouth open so I’ll be able to eat in peace and quiet”

You laughed at his words, feeling thankful that he still stuck by you and put a smile on your face

A week later

The breeze felt so refreshing as it brushed through your hair. Being outside in the sun made you feel so relaxed and you really needed it.

Your exams were coming up soon and because you had been pulling all nighters to fit in more studying, you had been forgetting to bring lunch. There was barely enough time for you to run out of the house with breakfast so making lunch at this point was a luxury

You had finally gotten back to talking to the boys (except for one obvious person) and it was like nothing changed. Well, except for the fact that you didn’t eat lunch with them anymore. It was nice to have your breaks outside so it wasn’t like you were complaining. You just missed having fun with them during lunch

Fortunately, the boys acted like nothing changed and didn’t make things awkward. It made you feel better that you hadn’t caused a rift between the boys, especially between Sunoo and Sunghoon. Sunoo was definitely still upset but he hardly brought it up so that you wouldn’t get upset.

Since you didn’t have any lunch or money on you, you resorted to having a little sketch in your notebook. You were completely immersed in your sketching that you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching you.

The person coughed slightly to gain your attention and when you looked up, you were met with a shy looking Sunghoon. His eyes kept on flickering between the floor and your eyes before he reached out to you, holding your favourite sandwich.

“Um. I noticed that you didn’t turn up to lunch and Sunoo told me where you were. I saw you didn’t have any food so I got you this” he mumbled while avoiding eye contact with you

Shocked was one way to describe how you were feeling. His change of demeanour was giving you whiplash and you didn’t know how to react. Did he think that this was a way to get you to move on from what happened the last time you spoke?

You looked at the sandwich in his hands before scoffing “What is this about Sunghoon? Are you really going to act like the last time we spoke, you didn’t accuse me of using your friends and called me a slut? Do I look like I have the word ‘idiot’ written on my forehead?”

“No! No I swear that’s not my intention! Look, I am an absolute idiot for what I did and there’s nothing that can take back what I said. If I could, I really would. I do not deserve your forgiveness at all, especially after the way I treated you but I cannot express how sorry I am and I had no right to talk to you the way I did. If you don’t want to forgive me, I completely understand but could you please at least eat this to get some energy? I’m really worried about you Y/N and want you to be safe” his hands were practically shaking and he was stumbling over his words.

He had planned how he was going to apologise, but after seeing your beautiful face again after what he felt like ages, it all flew out of the window.

“Sunghoon I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here. We weren’t friends and we’re not now so I don’t know why you’re so concerned about me. I appreciate you apologising but I just can’t accept this. You really broke me Sunghoon. Please just leave me alone” and with that you stood up and walked away, leaving Sunghoon with the sandwich forgotten in his hands

Over the next few days, you had arrived to your seat in your lectures to be met with cute but messy bento boxes. They’d be filled with your favourite foods and snacks in the shape of cute animals (you think) and a banana milk. You asked Sunoo if he knew anything about it but he just shrugged with a smirk and that was enough to tell you who they had come from. Each box was accompanied by a little note either saying words of encouragement, telling you how sorry he was, how beautiful you were, you name it. But your favourite ones were the notes that had a song recommendation for the day

The songs ranged from sweet apology songs to cute upbeat songs. Today, the song that he chose was ‘Truly Madly Deeply’ by Savage Garden. You smiled and put in your earphones to listen to the song.

The beautiful melody filled your ears with warmth and you closed your eyes. You took the time to really listen to the lyrics and froze. Is this song meant to be him hinting something to you? Was this him trying to confess that he had feelings for you? He never said anything to suggest that he did except for when he’d recommended a song. You didn’t want to overthink it though as you didn’t want it to result in disappointment.

You picked off the note stuck on the bento box to put it in your pocket, which had become a habit now, but you saw that there was another note on the other side reading:

Please meet me in the school gym at lunch when you’ve finished eating pretty girl x

P.S I hope you like the penguins 💕

(Reference pic)

You were contemplating about whether to go or not but he had been taking care of you for the past few days, so you owe him some time.

Skip to lunch

You told Sunoo that he didn’t need to wait for you and you were transparent about what Sunghoon had wrote. He didn’t seem that shocked so you suspected that he knew what was going on. One thing you must say, Sunghoon’s food always tasted good. They may have looked a bit sloppy at the beginning but each day, they got cuter. You let out a sigh after filling up with the delicious and packed your things up to head to the gym.

When you arrived, you poked your head through the door and saw Sunghoon sitting on a bench, bouncing his legs. At the sound of the gym door opening, his head swung in your direction and he quickly stood up and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants.

“Hey” he said with a nervous smile. It was so cute seeing him like this since you’ve been so used to him being emotionless.

“Hi, so what did you you call me here for?” You didn’t want to sound too harsh despite the things he said to you in the past.

“Well… um… I- I was wondering if you liked the packed lunches I made for you? I know they don’t look that great but I thought they would make you happy” he stuttered as his eyes flicked between you and the ground.

“Yeah I love them, thank you Sunghoon. You really didn’t have to do any of this for me you know?”

“B- but I do though. You took care of me and the guys so I need to return the favour. And you haven’t been looking after yourself so I want you to eat well”

“Well I really appreciate it Sunghoon” you looked at him with a soft smile and Sunghoon felt like his stomach was doing somersaults. It had been a while since he had seen your beautiful smile directed to him. He missed it after only receiving cold stares from you

“I also wanted to let you know that I’m so sorry for everything. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you from the start. Especially that horrible day outside of the library. I need to be completely honest with you Y/N. I have feelings for you and I know it sounds crazy because it’s so soon. But you consume my mind 24/7 and I just feel the need to be around you all of the time. Yes I was stupid for being a complete asshole but after I expressed everything to the guys, it’s made me realise that I like you. More than just a friend. Being away from you was the most pain I’ve ever felt and I just couldn’t comprehend the feelings I had. The way I handled the situation was completely immature of me but I’ve figured out my true feelings. You don’t have to say anything but I just really need you to know that I’ve caught feelings for you and I’m so sorry about disrespecting you out of immaturity” he felt like he couldn’t breathe after he spilt the words out. But the weight of his hidden feelings was finally lifted off his shoulders.

As for you? You were frozen in shock. So it was true that the song he recommended today was to confess to you.

“You like me? Since when? I’m sorry I’m just, my mind’s just frazzled right now” you were still trying to comprehend everything that he said

“Yes I really do like you Y/N. In all honesty, I don’t know when it started. But the more you were around, the more I felt like I could warm up to you. You’re so beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about you. Please believe me when I say that I never would’ve thought about talking to you in such a shit way if F/N never approached me in the first place. I know that sounds like such a pathetic excuse and that’s not me trying to excuse my behaviour. But I didn’t think of you in that way, nor do I do now. The first time meeting you I was hesitant, I do admit, but F/N just brought back horrible memories of people using my friends and hurting them in the past”

“Wait. What does F/N have anything to do with this?” You asked with confusion

From that, Sunghoon explained everything about what F/N had told him. He felt embarrassed that he fell for her lies so easily and he could tell that you were feeling overwhelmed

“I get that I’m stupid for even believing F/N in the first place. You are the first girl who has made me feel genuinely wanted just for being me. Not just because of my looks or popularity. The feeling was so foreign that I had no idea how to process it. There have been girls in the past who lured me into being interested in them, just to use me. So hearing that you were trying to do the same just made me go on the defence immediately to protect myself and my friends again”

You felt pity on the boy as his eyes fell to the ground again. It must’ve been hard for him having to experience people not truly caring about him and not knowing who to actually trust. And he didn’t exactly know you as well as someone like Sunoo would so you didn’t blame him for being conscious about you.

“I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience than Sunghoon. I really don’t hold anything against you for being hesitant when I started to hang out with you guys. And yes what you did was a proper dickhead move. But in a way, if I was already overwhelmed about my feelings about someone and another person told me that I was being used, I’d probably feel the same. I’m just hurt because F/N came up to me at the start of lunch that day to tell me that you just pitied me and used me for entertainment. So when you then later called me pathetic and a slut, it made me believe that F/N had been telling me the truth. As for me trying to slap her, it was actually the opposite way round. She came up to Sunoo, trying to find you but I ended up getting involved and she tried to slap me. Speaking of, I really do need to apologise to you for slapping you that day. It was really low of me and I shouldn’t of resorted to violence” at this point, you were in tears as you explained your side to him. Saying it all out loud just built up the confusing emotions till they pushed the need for you to cry it out

Seeing how hurt you were, Sunghoon instantly pulled you into a massive bear hug. You were already hurt from what F/N had said to you and he just had to add fuel to the fire. Seeing you so upset crushed his soul so he tilted your face up and wiped your tears away. He cupped your cheeks and used his thumbs to brush away the stray tears, causing your face to unintentionally pout.

Sunghoon’s heart started to race at the adorable sight of you. Your round watery eyes, puffy cheeks and irresistible pout made you look like a kicked puppy and he felt the urge to keep you for himself only

“Oh sweetheart. Don’t ever apologise to me. I don’t deserve it. And the things that F/N said to you are completely untrue. From what it seems, she spoke to you before coming to me to stir things between us. She caught on that I like you and started talking shit” he leaned his forehead onto yours and took a deep inhale through his nostrils

“I have a feeling that you’re right. She knew that I liked you too so she probably saw it as some kind of threat”

Sunghoon’s ears perked up at your comment and slightly pulled away to look at you properly “Liked? Do you not like me anymore? I really ruined it didn’t I?” He mumbled as his bottom lip popped out. It was slightly trembling at the thought that he had officially lost his chance with you

“No! Wait I mean yes? Wait, I- I’m just confused with how I’m feeling right now. I still like you Sunghoon despite what had happened. It’s kind of hard to lose feelings after you make me food and look so cute” you teased

He was definitely shocked but quickly tried to hide it to seem collected. So he smugly responded “Huh? So you think I’m cute? What can I say, I’m absolutely irresistible”

You scoffed with a subtle smile and pushed him away but he whined and pulled you back in

“No don’t push me away! I’m sorry pretty girl” he pushed your head into the crook of his head so he could rest his cheek on the crown on your head and rocked you side to side. He wanted to make the most out of this moment now that you were completely in his arms. He took a deep breath before deciding that he needed to do something before he loses his opportunity

“I know this might be too soon, but I really want to give us a try. I genuinely like you and want to be able to get to know you. You don’t need to agree and I would not blame you at all” he couldn’t bring himself to look at you as he confessed so he carried on rocking you. But he was mostly doing it to calm his nerves

You were completely silent and it made him tense up. He thought that this would be when you push him away and leave him heartbroken but you quietly said

“Ok let’s try. But just so you know, you’re not completely off the hook though. I still need to process everything but if we can take this slow, I’d love to give us a chance”

You looked up at him and he instantly got deja vu from the time you looked at him during practice.

“Of course! We can take it as slow as you want pretty girl. Thank you for giving me the chance” he was smiling so wide that you just stared at his gorgeous face in awe. He looked at your love-struck face and tucked your hair behind your ears

“You can’t get enough of this handsome face can you”

“Actually I take everything back”

“Wait no!”

Time skip

Sunghoon all but stormed through the corridors the next day after first second period. He zipped past the terrified students till he found the person he was looking for

“What is your deal F/N? I didn’t think you’d be even more ridiculous after what you’ve done in the past but you’ve proved me wrong” he spat

The burning gaze made F/N gulp in fear. She was currently on her own so she had no back up from her little followers

“Hoonie where is this coming from? I promise I’ve done nothing wrong”

“Oh give me a break F/N I know that you’ve been lying to Y/N and me. How bored must you be to try and pit people against each other just because you’re so miserable. Did you really think that pulling this shit would make me like you?”

F/N teared up now that she had been caught in the act. She didn’t want to admit that there was no way that Sunghoon would like her back. She desperately grabbed onto his arms as she looked at him with crazy eyes

“No it’s not true! Hoonie I didn’t do anything! Y/N is lying to you! She’s a crazy bitch that need to be taken away. I love you Hoonie and wouldn’t never lie to you”

He shoved her hands away in disgust “Cut the bullshit. I see through your stupid act. What goes through your head to think that what you’re doing is ok? Why are you making up these ridiculous lies for?”

F/N just looked at him in defeat. She knew now that there was no point in hiding it anymore “Hoonie, I have loved you for so long. I just wanted you to look at me, to give me attention. And you never once spared me the time of day. All I want is for you to like me the way I like you but you never did. Now all of a sudden, Y/N saunters in acting all innocent and she steals you away from me. She didn’t do shit and didn’t even like you. But once she started to catch feelings, suddenly you like her too. Do you blame me for being jealous when I’ve had to watch you fawn over some new girl you basically just met?”

“I’m sorry F/N but you can’t just force me to like you. I’ve fallen for Y/N because of how genuine and selfless she is. And in all honesty, I cannot say that about you. Don’t forget that you tried to use Jay and Jake to get to me as well so you can’t try to accuse Y/N of doing the same with Sunoo. I was a complete fool for believing what you had said” he shook his head and chuckled at how ridiculous his past self was

“If it is true that you actually like me, then I’m sorry that I didn’t and will not return your feelings. But I’m asking you now to please leave me, Y/N and my friends alone. They don’t deserve to be dragged into this and now I’m taking on the responsibility to protect them from getting hurt. You will find someone one day F/N and that person is most certainly not me”

F/N sighed in acceptance. She was in tears but this was the wake up call she needed to confirm his true feelings about her

“You’re right Hoonie. And I’m sorry. But before I do all of this, can you please to do something for me? I promise that if you do, I will leave you all alone.”

Sunghoon sighed. He was slightly hesitant but if it meant that she’d leave you alone, he’ll do anything

“I guess so. What do you want me to do?”

“Well, my birthday party is coming up soon and I want you stay by me. Just for that night”

“You know what? Fine. But only if I get to bring Y/N and the guys”

F/N looked defeated but was still satisfied that he’d at least come for her birthday

After exams finished

It took a lot of begging and pouting from Sunghoon’s end to get you to go to F/N’s birthday party with him and the boys. To tell the truth, you were already convinced to go but what’s the harm in milking it so you could see him act cute for a bit longer?

You were deciding what to wear since you barely owned any sort of clothing that was suitable for partying. Luckily for you, one of your friends was generous to let you try on a few of hers. You ultimately decided to go for a black mini dress as it hugged your figure perfectly. It was nothing like what you’d usually dress but you felt a wave of confidence just thinking about how Sunghoon could react to seeing you.

After you finished up your hair and makeup, you sprayed on your favourite perfume just as the doorbell rang. You opened it up and was met with Sunghoon in all of his glory. The two of you stood in silence as you took the sight of each other in.

“Oh wow. You look absolutely gorgeous. I mean, not like you’re not gorgeous all of the time” he gulped audibly as he looked you up and down

You giggled at his cute behaviour “Thank you! And you look as handsome as ever”

Your new found confidence stirred something in Sunghoon’s stomach and he was so tempted to just flake on the party and have you to himself. But unfortunately for him, he had a deal that he had to take on

As you walked passed him to get to his car, he caught a whiff of your sweet scent and that’s when he knew that it would be a long night for him

At F/N’s house

The two of you walked into the party with Sunghoon’s hand holding you on your lower back. You received a few drunken stares as you sauntered in but their attention didn’t linger for too long.

He whispered into your ear to reassure you and ask if you were ok. So you turned to him with a smile and told him that you were fine. It didn’t take long for you two to find the rest of the boys. At the moment, Niki and Jungwon were the only sober ones, whilst the rest were sipping on the alcoholic punch. You were all excited that this was the first time you had all partied together so they brought you over to take some shots.

It seemed like you were all good at handling alcohol. Well, except Jake and Heeseung. Niki was filming you all and was in absolute stitches. If he was going to be the only sober one, he was at least gonna have some fun with it. You could tell Sunghoon was feeling a lot looser than he usually was and it was refreshing to see. With that, he was extremely cuddly with you and would whine every time your attention was diverted from him

Jake suggested that you all got up to dance and none of you were going to turn down the offer. You were having the time of your life dancing with your friend’s and lip syncing to your favourite songs. Sunghoon’s arms were wrapped around your waist protectively and you leaned back against his chest. Even though you looked like a goddess, he didn’t appreciate the lingering stares of guys around you. So to make a point that you were his, he leaned down to nuzzle his nose into your neck, where you had sprayed your perfume. The sensation tickled you so you giggled and reached up to run your fingers through his hair.

It definitely looked like the two of you were officially together but you didn’t care about what everyone else was feeling. You all dance together in a mini circle for a few minutes. It was all going well until the fun was rudely disrupted

“Hey Hoonie, you made it!” F/N voice came from behind you

You couldn’t lie, she looked breathtaking. There was no wonder she could get with almost every guy she wanted.

The rest of the boys could also feel the tension from F/N’s presence. Sunghoon told you all about the deal he had made with F/N so they weren’t completely surprised when she approached.

“Oh hey. Thanks for inviting us” Sunghoon felt the need to fill the awkwardness but it was obvious that he wanted F/N to leave him alone

“Don’t be silly Hoonie. You promised you’d be my date for tonight remember?”

“That was not exactly the deal but whatever” he rolled his eyes

She tugged on his sleeves which ended up unwrapping his arms from where they comfortably sat on your waist.

“I’m gonna steal Hoonie away so I can cut my cake bye”

No one could get a word in before she dragged him through the crowd. You all stood there in disbelief but Heeseung approached you and put his arm around your shoulder

“Don’t worry your pretty head Y/Nie. It’ll just be a few hours till we can leave and then we can grab some burgers on the way back to ours” he ruffled your hair softly before you all carried on dancing to distract yourself

For the entire night, F/N was clinging onto Sunghoon’s arm. But you knew that once he fulfilled his side of the deal, she would as well and leave you all alone once and for all. That isn’t to say that it didn’t hurt to see them together as she cut her cake. You didn’t want to admit it but they did look good together. The boys must’ve sensed your discomfort so they stayed with you which calmed you a bit.

From your guesses, F/N had been prancing around and showing off the gorgeous man on her arm the entire night but you were low-key glad they weren’t around you since you didn’t have to watch him with someone else. If it wasn’t for your friends being around you, making you laugh to the point of tears, you were sure that you would be spiralling right now.

“Hey are you alright sweetheart? If you’re worried about Sunghoon it’s ok. He doesn’t want to do this either and I’m 100% sure he wants nothing more than to be with you right now. Just think that after tonight, you won’t have to deal with her again” Jay comforted you despite being drunk himself

You felt slightly nauseous so you excused yourself to go to the toilet. And since Niki was the only sober one, he offered to take you like the gentleman he was.

Despite him being the baby of the group, Niki was extremely attentive when it came to you and it was so endearing. He really treated you like his older sister and he was literally the protective baby brother you didn’t realise you needed. As you both made your way up the stairs, the music started to slightly fade which gave you guys the opportunity to talk.

“You know noona, I’m really happy that you hang out with us. And it’s so nice to see Sunghoon hyung so happy when you’re around. He may seem quite calm but I know that you definitely make him extremely giddy when you do anything. It’s the only time I’ve seem him so whipped for someone and I’m glad that it’s you. We all can acknowledge that what he said to you was fucked, but I can reassure you that he meant none of it and he’s completely serious about making you guys work”

His words made you tear up from how sweet he was. In a way, it felt like he was your baby who was growing up in front of your eyes.

“Oh Niki you’re such a sweetheart. What would I do without you hey?”

“I don’t know but I guess you’d have no one to make you laugh”

The two of you looked at each other in silence for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter as you carried on to the bathroom (F/N has a big house ok 😭)

As you carried on bantering about the boys, the last thing the two of you were expecting was to open the bathroom door and find F/N and Sunghoon making out against the counter

You let out a gasp which made them split apart and Sunghoon was sure that his life had just shattered into a billion pieces. You couldn’t find the words to express the pain you were feeling so you turned to run out of the house with Niki quickly following (of course not before he sent Sunghoon a glare that could’ve sent him to his grave)

Sunghoon couldn’t process anything as he pushed F/N away and ran to chase you with tears running down his face

“Y/N wait! Please!”

Authour’s note: 😁😁😁 well… that happened (please don’t hate me 😭)

Thank you so much for taking this time to read my work and I hope you look forward to more in the future 🩵

Taglist: @tobiosbbyghorl @heerinnie @jiaant11 @leeminhyungletsgetit @woniewonn @lvrcvr @jazlynsthings @nikikids

#heehoonieluvs #enhypen drabbles #enhypen oneshots #enhypen series #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen smut #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon oneshots #sunghoon series #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon angst #sunghoon smut

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rreeaahh · 9 months

Text

Green eyes VS green badge | R. A. B.

Second chapter of "One way ticket" | Ch. 1

pair> regulus black x lestrange! reader | > mentions of james potter x reader | > james potter x lily evans

summary> the hate between y/n and regulus is hidden from anyone else, but maybe his actions combined with a heartbreak aren't the best outcome for y/n

word count> 2.7k

warnings> regulus being a jerk, again? reader being kind of a teacher's pet? mentions of discrimination based on blood purity; nothing else, in my opinion, feel free to tell me if i should add anything!

a/n> THIS WAS WRITTEN IN ONE GO, HOLY SHIT. I DID NOT PROOFREAD IT. thank u guys for all the support showed here<3 its crazy, honestly. the tag list is open for this series, so feel free to send me an ask or a comment of you want to be added! also, i have a thought and idk, i'd make this idea more detailed but on wattpad, and keep it a little shorter here, what do you think?

There were four simple rules that Y/N needed to follow since she could talk and understand what she was being told.

The first one was that she could never, ever in her whole life disobey her father – he was the only one who cared for her, for her future, for her dignity and he was the only one who wished to see her become a strong and powerful witch; that’s what he claimed, at least.

The second one was that she was not allowed to ever question the Dark Lord’s word – her father said that Tom Riddle, his old friend, was the one who told him to keep her, to raise her and protect her as a father should. In other words, she has a dad because a bald snake-looking man said she was worth the effort.

The third one, one with a great significance, was that she should not interact with Mudbloods more than necessary – which was, in her opinion, pretty confusing, given the fact that Voldemort himself was a Half-blood. But, she could not put that problem to a question because she would break rule number one and rule number two at the same time.

The last one was simple – don’t be a disappointment, don’t ruin the family’s image.

And that’s how she lived her life until her first year at Hogwarts. That’s when she started to disobey her dad by giving up on rule number three and talk to all her colleagues – nothing more than acquaintances, though, because the other Purebloods could mock her for doing so. She learned that everyone should be treated equally, no matter the blood that was running in their veins – they were all wizards, after all. That’s a reason she got close to James Potter last year, in her fourth one. The older boy was shocked to see a Slytherin act that politely towards a first-year Muggleborn Gryffindor and jokingly asked her if she was sick. He said she was not like the others. He said she was quite nice.

They had a few other accidental meetings in the hallway, and without realizing Y/N started to get nervous around him; her heart would beat faster when she’d hear his voice in the Great Hall and her cheeks would burn when she’d wake up from another dream about him – that was her first crush ever. While at the final party of the year, where only a few Slytherins were invited – it was hosted by the Marauders, after all – Y/N was kissed by James. The party was at the end, she wanted to leave and he offered to walk her back to the Dungeons. It was the best night of her life, she finally felt seen, heard, liked. Maybe it was because of their encounters, maybe because James could see behind her social mask or maybe it was simply because of all the firewhiskey and beer, but he kissed her. He really kissed her, right at the door of the Slytherin’s common room. He grabbed her waist, cupped her cheek and even groaned against her lips when she gathered the courage to put her hands in his dark curly hair. He smiled at her and wished her a great summer, and then walked off backwards, still watching her.

That’s why she was excited all summer to get back at Hogwarts. That’s why she was determined to learn more about Muggleborns, to change her life and morals. That’s why she started fighting her father when he’d open the topic of marriage – James was, of course, a Pureblood, as Cyrus wished for his only child, but he was also a blood traitor. She never told her dad about him, but she wouldn’t even once let him get the idea that she was willing to marry one of his friends’ sons. They were all pricks, and she was only thinking about James.

That’s why her heart broke on the train – he wouldn’t even look at her. That’s why now, a few days after, she still looks like the train hit her. That’s what she thought, at least, because everyone else complimented her new jewelry, her hair, her nail polish, every stupid and insignificant thing. Her eyes had dark circles under them, her skin felt strange and her appetite was nowhere to be found.

“Don’t you like the porridge?” asks Evan and points to her bowl.

His sister, Pandora, gets her head out of the tarot book and scoff in disapproval. “Could you mind your business, Evan?” She should be at the Ravenclaw table, but she really likes to spent time with them.

Y/N only smiles to them and pushes away the bowl. “You can have it, Evan, I’m not that hungry,” she winks in his direction and starts writing on her parchments again.

Because that’s what she does – that’s the only way not to look at the other side of the room, at the Gryffindor table. She studies over her Potions’ notes, her first class from that day. Professor Slughorn announced another meeting of the Slug Club and her new goal was to get invited, again. There are a few girls that get to be invited to those dinners, and Y/N was one of them but Horace liked to see new faces from now and then.

“You really want to go,” mutters Bruce Mulciber, looking at her with a bored expression. Edmund Avery hits his arm in a not-that-subtle manner and smiles at her widely.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are while studying, Y/N? So smart,” the boy says and winks in her direction.

“How disgusting,” Pandora whispers at their behavior. Y/N nods her head and smiles politely to Edmund, while wishing she could slam his head to the table until she’d see blood. But that would definitely against any existing rule – both Hogwarts’ and her father’s.

She gets up and starts gathering her belongings, taking a last sip from her tea cup. “I have to go, guys. Evan, I’ll see you in Potions, right?”

“Yeah, I have to wait for Regulus, though,” he informs her and grabs her porridge bowl, smiling thankful in her way.

Y/N laughs and grabs her parchments, drinking the remaining tea in her cup. While at it, a body slams into hers and the contact makes her to drop the tea on her notes, her white shirt and her shoes. And there’s silence.

“Sorry,” says in a blank tone no one else than Regulus Black. His uniform is perfect, his hair is put in place and he even got the chance to get away from Y/N before any drop could be on him. “I didn’t see you there.”

She wants to shout. She wants to scream at him, grab her wand and curse him. She wants him to be as embarrassed as she is now, wet and watched by the entire dining hall. But she can’t. She got her father’s temper but she learned from him how to handle it. She needs to handle it.

“Regulus,” she says in a happy tone, “Evan was waiting for you,” it’s the only thing that comes out of her mouth as she looks only at him. Not at her housemates, her friends, or even over her shoulder at the boy who froze there with his friends, who are laughing at her.

“Yeah, I know,” he mutters. “Let’s go, Rosier,” he demands in a now friendly voice. “Horace is waiting in the classroom; he probably wants to talk about the Slug Club.”

That’s when Y/N forgets about everything and in the silence of her mind there is only Regulus’ voice. He probably wants to talk about the Slug Club. Still with a smile on her face, she gets her robes from the bench, wave goodbye to her friends and starts walking away. She cannot resists the temptation and looks at the Gryffindor table. He’s there, with Sirius on his left, laughing with his friends. After she leaves the Great Hall there’s a feeling of pressure on her whole body. Was he laughing of her? He could never, right? She was quite nice, after all.

Before entering the Potions class, she stood there for a few minutes, calming down. Now she’s putting on her dark robes, the silver snake shining on the green badge. As she’s buttoning it up, the steps of her colleagues echo through the dark corridor.

“There you are, Y/N,” sights Evan. He’s followed by Barty Crouch Jr and Regulus, who watches her like she’s sick with a blood curse. “You went ahead without looking back.”

“Oh, yeah, I got to make sure my robes cover the whole…” she looks only for a second at Regulus, “tea accident.” She says it while chuckling, like it was just a silly little accident which could happen to anyone. But not anyone would get away clean like he did after that kind of an accident.

“And yet you look worse than before,” Regulus speaks and his eyes points at her now clearly stained shirt. “Let’s go, boys, I’m sure Y/N knows how to dress herself,” he scoffs and smiles to her.

The other two boys follow him along and she sits there, blood boiling in her veins. Her anger is born because of two persons – her father, because he’d kill her if she was arguing with another Pureblood in public, especially Orion Black’s son, and Regulus Black, for being such and arse.

Horace Slughorn, however, didn’t seem to be that preoccupied by her entrance. He greeted her and went on with his lesson and for Merlin knows what time she finds herself thinking about Regulus, and how she’d strangle him with the tie around his neck if given the opportunity. Regulus has that power, to awake something in her that only wants to hurt him, to make him suffer and get out those cold eyes – maybe she could make a pair of earrings out of them. He was right besides her, sitting with Evan while she tried to ignore Barty’s jokes about their professor. Sometimes, she wishes so much to be away from them – she feels suffocated to be near them at school and also at home, when her father would take her with him at different events, but there’s no way that she could cross his word. You will act nice towards any pureblood kid, they are the only ones that deserve it – they are you only equals.

“That’s all for today, my dear students,” announces Slughorn and claps his hands together. “You have to write an essay about today’s lesson, in order for me to see that everything was very clear.”

She puts away her quill and ink and starts rolling the parchments that she took notes on. Barty plays drums in the wood of the table and Evan hits him behind his head with his notes. The two of them laugh and she can’t help but her Regulus’ scoff at their silly action.

“Oh, Mister Black, Miss Lestrange, could you stay for a little? I have something to tell you,” Slughorn says happily and goes over to his desk at the front of class.

“Yes, professor,” they both say and get up. They both also look at each other, eyes burning with annoyance.

“We’ll see you outside, ok?” asks Evan.

“Go on, don’t wait,” is the only answer he receives from Regulus before he goes first to Slughorn, Y/N right after him.

“Oh, my two favorite students!” the professor says as they remain alone in the classroom. “I hope the first days where excellent, kids.”

“Of course, sir,” Y/N smiles and Slughorn can’t help but lays his eyes a little longer on her, on her clothes. She was the only one that wore the robes during class.

“How are your parents, hm?” His question sits uneasy on them both. Y/N does not look at Regulus, Regulus does not look at Y/N – they both hope the other one will talk first.

And because she remembers her father’s words, she opens her mouth. “My father sends his greetings, sir. He got me a new potions book that I’ve read over the summer,” she says and accepts happily the proud nod from her professor.

“Very good, I’m pleased to hear that the vacation didn’t stop your liking for studying,” he laughs in a soft manner. “Right, Regulus? Miss Lestrange here sure is a great housemate, keeping our pride safe,” now is the Horace Slughorn, Head of Slytherin, that’s talking.

She sees with the corner of her eye that his body tenses. “Of course, professor,” he forces himself to say.

“Right,” Horace claps his hands together again, excited. “You two are the brightest students in my house, that’s the reason I’m sure you two will be also the brightest Prefects that Hogwarts has and will ever see!” He hands them the green badges, the word PREFECT being written on it with silver letters. “I’m sure you’ll make me very proud, children,” he says.

“You can be sure of it, sir. We’ll do our best,” Y/N smiles and looks at the metal badge from between her fingers.

“That’s all,” the professor says. “Come on, go to your business, I have another class now.”

She bites her tongue and smiles polite at him, before turning around.

“What about the Slug Club, sir?”

Regulus Black was not the most talkative person Y/N knew, but he sure was stubborn.

“Oh, Merlin, I nearly forgot! Of course, Mister Black, you and Miss Lestrange are more than welcome, I thought that’s already settled,” he said and smiled at them – Horace Slughorn wanted to make sure that the kids of two important families in the Wizarding World liked him as a teacher.

As soon as they leave the class, Regulus scoffs, the sound echoing in the corridor. “Maybe you’ll learn how to dress now that I’m forced to spend even more time with you.”

His voice is mocking, rude and teasing. Now that they’re alone, they can finally act how they really wish to. Y/N grabs the wand from her robes’ pocket and points it at Regulus, who’s now pressed against the stone wall and grins at her.

“If you ever try to outsmart me again, Black, I swear I’m gonna Crucio you,” she spats the words in his face and only for a second Regulus’ face drops, his eyes looking at the tip of the wand before returning at her face.

“Only if you’d be capable of doing something like that, you pathetic try of a witch,” he says and grabs her wand, pushing it away from his face.

“You really have a death wish?” she asks annoyed by his eyes that watch her with superiority, his curved lips that laugh at her.

“Careful, Y/N, you wouldn’t want you-know-who to find out what a brave and cruel witch you are, right? He may like it,” he laughs and walks away from her, leaving her alone at the door of the Potions’ class.

For a moment, she’s alone. And there’s silence. She looks at the green badge in her hand and exhales all the air in her lungs. And then, there’s laughter. And there’re steps which walk in her direction, and she wants to leave but she freezes pressed against the wall, right where Regulus was only a moment ago.

James Potter is walking beside a ginger girl; tall and beautiful and dressed in a red uniform, matching his. He makes her laugh as she’s playfully hitting his arm, telling him to stop. Y/N just stays there, and James doesn’t even seem to notice her. But the girl does – Y/N recognizes her as Lily Evans, the Muggleborn girl in James’ year. Lily’s green eyes watch Y/N as she sits there, badge in her hand, and the older witch smiles at her. She ignores James for a moment, giving Y/N a thumbs-up before pointing to her red badge, which had written HEADGIRL on it.

As they enter the room, Y/N starts walking away. She feels sad, maybe, heartbroken, even. She’s not sure. But she’s sure that she’s furious, angry, mad. Her father was right. Mudbloods and blood traitors deserve nothing.

And that’s only because James Potter picked the green eyes over the green badge.

#slytherin #angst #hogwarts #smut #regulus black #regulus x reader #slytherin reader #the black family #x reader #one way ticket #lestrange reader #james potter x reader #james potter x lily evans #the marauders #marauders era #sirius black #remus lupin

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silence-between-seconds · 2 months

Text

Hey there, love

I'm Sirius and this is my attempt at an intro post. anyway, you can call me siri ;)

pick any pronouns from: he/she/they || I'm genderfluid || INFJ

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Sooooooo, if you wanna know, here it goes

Gonna tell you there's a part of me that shows, if we're close

Gonna let you see everything

But remember that you asked for it

I'll try to do my best to impress,

But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest

But you wanna hear what lives in my brain and my heart

Well, you asked for it

For your perusin', at times confusin'

Hopefully amusin', introducing me<3

I've never

really been into cars,

I like really cool guitars and superheroes

And checks with lots of zeros on 'em

I love the sound of violins

And makin' someone smile

(yes I just inserted a disney song to introduce myself. go listen to it if you want it's called Introducing Me by nick jonas)

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my life motto is "do no harm but take no shit". That's right, I have my wise moments.

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I'd say this mood board just about sums up my personality, except, as all humans are, I'm obviously more complex than that.

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@her-midas-touch is a poet and wrote this for me hehe:

Run out of metaphors great enough, my fingers paint a wraith

To faint to capture essence, mere shimmery traces of feelings

Every cheshire cat smile, every whirlwind idea, every leap of faith for every apathetic eye, missing the moment, is a soul

that sings

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

click here for the playlist on Spotify by my lovely siv @good-oldfashioned-lover about what my soul is supposedly made of.

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

this is my ao3 acc feel free to check it out

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

feel free to interact<3 promise to advice/ listen if you wanna vent/ hyperfixations

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩💐

lovely mutuals:

@good-oldfashioned-lover @her-midas-touch@daydream-of-a-wallflower@hermioneswifeee@literallytoogaytofunction@lilbeanz@reisbackinblack@dementorfromazkaban@deprivedofbraincellsandsleep@starryrain@lizluvscupcakes@urbanflorals @accio-sriracha@siriusly-remu@werewolfenthusiast@none-of-it-was-accidental@feelin-sad-and-gay@jaylienpotter@illustratinglaura @nothingtoseeherebyeexx @silverscreenlipstick @moonysversion @mochami-mochi @sleepinginmygrave @icarus-last-fall @a-beautiful-fool @shuhuaspookie @xi-phos @here-for-a-good-time-hopefully @stars-over-ice-cream @kaaaaaaarf @re-is-back-in-black@rookofthekingom@toxik-angel@marylily-my-beloved@good-oldfashioned-lover-girl

(i hope i got everyone?)

mess with my friends and I will hurt you :)

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Things I love:

singing, marauders era, any and all kinds of art, poetry, books, fanfiction, the harry potter fandom (jkr can piss off tho), arctic monkeys, k-pop (bts, txt, svt, skz, treasure and a few more bands), renne rapp, taylor swift's music, conan gray, plushies, the moon, the stars, basically space, chai, biking, CHOCOLATE, nature, writing, badminton, musical instruments and a million little nothings

currently listening to: space girl by Frances Forever

fav authors/books: ruskin bond, the alchemist, ronald dahl, to kill a mockingbird, memoirs of sherlock holmes, and many more im too lazy to type out. ok look i love reading but the last thing i read was definitely on ao3

movies/shows: Heartstopper, Red white and royal blue, Loki, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, Night at the Museum, Marvel (not sucha fan of mcu), highschool musical (2 is my fav), Luca (2021) and most other pixar and disney movies, (i love animated movies so much)

bollywood has only managed to make a select few good movies out of which im absolutely crazy about like znmd, dangal and super 30

DNIs don't work so I guess I'll just say: fuck around and find out :)

this video made by the wonderful @urbanflorals is so me, i wanted to add it<3

alright ty for visiting my blog, you are welcome to stay

Toodles<3

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moralesmilesanhour · 3 months

Text

flowerbyte headcanons

Cuz the tag empty as hell and I am their self-appointed PR manager

It's one thing to think the other is cute. It's another thing to actually get to *know* them.

At first they bond over shared hobbies. Normal kiddie stuff like molecular physics, nothing too crazy

That is, until Miles asks a question that's juuust crossing the line between "okay" and "too personal"

That's when he realizes that Margo likes to keep people at an arm's length.

Which he only partially gets, because they've all got a secret identity to hide, and mental health issues to hide from their parents until they hit 18

But shouldn't it be different with him?

Okay now that all the people who were looking for fluff have left

Margo doesn't like to discuss feelings. They're messy and u can't program them to do what u want 💔 she likes to hide behind mild sarcasm and large sanrio plushies

If Miles hadn't asked her out first then she would've been content with an eternity of soft glances and awkward flirting

Miles is marginally better at feelings. In fact, there is no point at which she's unaware of how he feels about something

It's comforting. And terrifying

All of this is to say that their whole early relationship dynamic is trying to open up to each other while trying to keep the space-time continuum from falling apart like a Nature Valley bar

You know what's even more difficult than that? Inviting your bf that you've been interacting with via virtual avatar for like a year to your dimension

But it's fine. Miles makes a lot of bad jokes about the transition to color television in the 50s, tells her she's pretty, and it's fine.

He asks Margo about her favorite movies and shows so that he can psychoanalyze her and fine-tune his recommendations

She offers to fix all of his "vintage" electronics because they're a "historical marvel" or something

They're both annoying as hell together. God forbid you say something and they both take turns infodumping to you about The Thing like a neurodivergent tag team

Autism vs ADHD

Unstoppable force vs Immovable object. Miles is incredibly stubborn and needs things to happen in a Very Specific Way and Margo does shit in a completely different order every time and somehow they make it work

Those are all my brainrot thoughts for now feel free 2 add on if u want [disappears in a cloud of smoke]

#flowerbyte #cyberflower #cybershock #miles morales #margo kess #blabbering #spiderman across the spiderverse #moralesanhour

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lemongogo · 6 months

Note

what's your process for coloring like? the look of that elendira is so textured and interesting, i can't figure out how you do it

AA THANK YOUU ^__^ !! textures & brushwork are my favorite things abt my art, so im happy you find it interesting hehe . its SOO cool to look at & so much fun to draw imo

i prefer to color by building in layers , if that makes sense 🤔!! hundreds of them !! such that i'm always drawing on Top of previous layers, working from big & messy blocks of color to, eventually, small and refined blocks of color until it feels processed enough. as a result, i rarely ever erase (!!) and i rarely ever draw lineart aside from the initial sketch

a rough, patchy textured brush is key here, as it'll give you dimension and variability w/ your colors. i recommend "Brush and various sets of fountain pen style (万年筆風ブラシと色々セット)" on Clip Studio (ID: 1679706) !! :3

im terrible with explanations though, so i'm going to show a step by step of that elendira drawing if you dont mind :3

sketch layer !! because i mostly render through color alone, i try to make this as close to the finished thing as possible . ^__^ i hateee drawing the same thing over and over and like the expressivity and movement of my sketches anyways , so the more i can preserve at this step, the better. if u were to look at a side by side of my sketches and finished pieces, youd notice a lot of those og lines are present in the final drawing :3

2. flats !! pretty self explanatory, but the solid background gives me an idea of where the figure begins & ends while the colors themselves help distinguish whats what . i stick to ambient lighting @ this point because im usually not sure what i want to do with the overall palette or lighting yet . having two tones (ex, dark and light in her hair or dark and light on her skin) can also help in identifying key features early on that u wanna preserve. as you build layer by layer, sometimes these areas will remain untouched and i think it makes for a rly lovely feel at the end

3. start blocking !!! to be totally honest with you, i dont really know what i do here HAHAHA. like i just scribble the shit out of it, usually focusing on what i might want to do with lighting (ex: grey areas to accentuate folds in her costume). i think i like to start "erasing" the sketch where possible by coloring on top of it .. like if you look at her hat or her arm , you can tell i'm starting to get a sense of the shapes i like vs the ones i dont. it's at this point that the final image starts to emerge in my mind , like im gradually pulling her from a tarpit of scribbles until shes recognizable lol. chipping away at the marble until i can free her. tbh.

4. keep blockingg...when u think u are done , block some more . as you can probably see, the brushwork becomes more intentional as i add more shape, with specific focus on line weight. this is also where the patchiness of that textured brush comes in - notice how none of the colors seem totally uniform (ex: the red cross or the original sketchlines for her waist). you can see bits and pieces of the layers underneath pushing through and i really like that !! ^__^ its very fun and sketchy to me, so i try to keep them around. those areas are also great to colorpick from, because it'll give you "new" colors to work w/ that are already part of your palette.

5. GRADIENTS & GRADIENT MAPS !! TONE CURVE !! COLOR PICKER !! this is the best stage tbh. flatten your image so its all on one layer and just go crazy with all the color settings in ur program. add gradient layers and set them to darken, or overlay, or subtract, orrr. lighten or dodge glow or divide or soft/hard light.! OR!! edit the hue, saturation, luminosity and contrast.and then color pick from these edits, block even more on top of ur image, flatten, color edit again, etc. etc. until u feel satisfied.

ANYWAYSS . i hope that makes sense @__@ sry i wrote this out and deleted it like 23 times trying to make it make More sense but thats what ive got HAHA i hope its useful though :3 !

#SRY I STRUGGLED 2 EXPLAIN THIS #dude its like my brain bcomes stuffed w/ cotton anytime i try 2 write #i hope it makes sense tho..#it also probably sounds so redundant to make new layer one after the other for just a few brushstrokes #but those brushes i linked have a multiply property so if you draw on top of prev lines they'll create dark patches #and so if im working over a large area ill generally need like . 5 layers each with one brushstroke :sob: if that makes sense #this one had . 84 i think. total. layers i mean. the merylvash one had 300+ HAHAH so it rly depends #like YEAAH i could just use a normal brush but i really like the way this looks #andd sometimes the multiply function works really well or will give me the proper shadow tone im looking for #anywas.wanywaysn anyways #asktag #anonymous #long post

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fullsunrise · 4 months

Text

Midnight Dare

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairing: Haechan x Original female character

Minor Characters: Johnny, Mark

Genre: Humor, Romance

Warnings: Sexual themes (very suggestive), mentions of alcohol, Haechan has a big dick (oops)

A/N: Happy New Year! Here's a oneshot I manically wrote after reading a prompt posted here that says "Their friends dare them to kiss a stranger at midnight and they are just tipsy enough to actually do it."

“You know, it's actually really hard having such a fat cock,” He said, letting out a dramatic sigh. A few forced laughs and groans followed.

Tessa wasn't eavesdropping, but it was difficult to ignore him even from across the room. It was at least the third time that night she heard him mention his dick. It had to be on purpose, because he always brought it up the moment she was within hearing radius.

“Does this guy ever shut up,” Tessa said quietly to herself. Taking a swing from the bottle, a sour taste filled her mouth. Either the beer was clearly skunked or her body was having a visceral reaction to the man sitting on the couch a few feet away from her.

“Ah, there you are!”

As she turned her head to the familiar voice from behind her, her heart immediately dropped. She’s rudely greeted with Mark’s shit-eating grin and Johnny’s soft smirk. This pair never sits well with her, and Tessa can feel the beer rise up in her throat. Flashbacks from almost every single party in college came flooding back instantly. With these two, there was never a dull moment. They would always come up with a plan to make the night more interesting. It seemed they’ve never left their scheming ways behind.

“Why do you two look so happy? Finally get laid?”

“Actually, it's you who is going to get laid,” Johnny corrected her.

Operation “get Tessa laid” was apparently well underway, and she knew she couldn't stop them if they’ve already put their minds to it. Maybe it's best to just hear them out, she thought. How crazy would their idea even be?

“And why is that?”

“Cause we have a dare for you,” Mark adds, his smirk never faltering.

Tessa was never one to back down from a good dare. And what was the harm in acting like a bunch of college kids again, for old times sake?

“Hit me,” she replied, tilting the bottle again for another sip. The sour taste was still there. Tessa knew she needed a stronger drink than this to get through the night. She could pretend that she wasn't nervous, but Mark and Johnny didn't need to know.

“Okay so you know “Fat Cock” guy over there, right?” Mark gestured over to the couch, but Tessa didn't need to look. Regret bubbled up in her stomach and she thought her beer might come up any second.

“Unfortunately,” she muttered, waiting for him to get on with it already.

“Well it doesn't look like he's getting much action tonight, so we thought we could help him out,” Johnny continued where Mark left off.

“And where is my part in all of this?"

“At midnight, we dare you to give him a New Year’s kiss,” Johnny said, and she waited for the punchline. But it never comes, because the look on his face is one of sheer determination.

“So are you in?” Mark added, trying to make it come out as a question. But it was more like a command.

Ah, the illusion of free will. Tessa never really had a choice, because one of them always made sure not taking the dare was the worse option.

“Sure,” she said with a smirk, “You know I’m always in.”

Tessa tried to keep her false confidence from showing, worried that they might see right through her ruse. As she glanced at the couch, he was still there. No longer boosting, but instead smirking. As if he knew what was being conjured up right under his nose. She definitely needed another drink.

“That didn't take a lot of convincing,” Johnny noted, trying to bite back a laugh.

He was right, normally Tessa would fight a lot harder than this. But it was just a kiss, nothing more. Harmless.

“It’s the most tame dare you've given me since college,” She reminded him. He didn't respond, but instead simply nodded in acknowledgement. A comfortable lull in the conversation fell, and Tessa took this time to let the dare soak. It was going to be easy. As she started to formulate the plan in her head, Tessa was interrupted when the silence was broken.

“So why are you still standing here?” Mark questioned.

“It's not even close to midnight,” she quipped. “Plus, I’m going to get another drink.”

“You might want to reconsider doing that,” Johnny warned as he quickly checked his phone before clicking it off and shoving it back in his pocket. “It's t-minus two minutes until midnight.”

Only two minutes? Was her sense of time that altered? And how the hell was she going to pull this one off? No introduction, just kiss him and walk away like nothing happened?

“Oh, and let us know if he's lying or not,” Mark said in a tone that definitely was way too serious. Johnny let out a snicker, and her eyes went wide.

“Don't keep your hopes up,” Tessa narrowed her eyes before giving Johnny and Mark a disgusted glance. It was just a dare, but it felt like she was walking into her grave.

There he was, in all his glory. The man, the myth, the legend? He lounged on the couch, his arm draped over the cushions as he analyzed the crowd. Thankfully no one was around him. Tessa couldn't go forward with the dare with an audience. But that was incorrect. She did in fact have an audience of two and suddenly she could feel their eyes bore into her back. Were they waiting for her to crash and burn? Of course they were.

Without warning, the countdown around her began. Counting down her slipping sanity like a chanting cult. It was all so silly how easily embarrassed she was about a simple kiss. But there was no time to think. With her heart no longer trusting her brain to take control, her body seemed to move on its own accord.

As she sat down right next to him, her thigh pressing against his own, his attention was instantly pulled into her orbit. This close, she could see his deep brown eyes and how the light danced within them. He seemed shocked at first, but he quickly composed himself. As if he knew. As if he’d been expecting this.

Fuck. He was better looking than Tessa thought, then again she only peeked at him from afar. A safe distance. But safety was thrown out the window when she closed in on him, pressing her lips to his the second everyone cheered.

Shouts of “Happy new year!” rang throughout the crowded apartment, but time seemed to slow. His lips were unbelievably soft, melting into her own like a popsicle in the blazing summer heat. How could it be this warm in the winter? She could feel him bringing her in closer by her waist. Then a familiar heat started to grow between her thighs. It didn't take long until she wanted more and more.

A safe distance, what was that? Desire clouded her judgment as he deepened the kiss. It was tender, yet filled with need. Her body was on fire. Just as she was about to snake her hand up his thigh, to find out if he was telling the truth, he pulled away with a knowing smirk. As if he caught her red-handed.

“Happy new year,” she said breathlessly.

“What's your name?” he softly asked.

Was this the same guy from earlier? Mr. Fat Cock? She should’ve felt repulsed, but her body failed her. A warm heat crept up in her cheeks. Maybe it was curiosity that kept her by his side. She completed the dare after all, maybe she could indulge in her friends’ inquiry. Just for tonight. Because who was she kidding? They weren't the only ones who were curious.

“Tessa,” she told him, and waited for his reply.

“Pleasure to meet you, Tessa.” he said, and it felt like his voice was bewitching her. “I’m Haechan.” His smirk never left his face. He didn't say another word and left his eyes to speak for him. Like he was saying I know why you’re here, do you want to find out?

And like a moth to the flame, Tessa couldn't help but take his invitation. What was the harm in finding out if he was just bluffing? Haechan slowly rose from the couch wordlessly, his eyes never leaving hers. When he stretched his hand outwards for her to reach, Tessa took it without a second guess. Because there was no time for thinking. Not when he guided her through the crowd and down the hallway. She could only hear the distant laughter and conversations mixed with her loud heart beat.

No time for regret as he pulled her in the empty bathroom and cornered her between his body and the door. His arm raised above her head to shut the door as quietly as he could, like he was making sure no one suspected they had disappeared. The noise from the rest of the party was muffled, and Tessa wondered if they would be able to hear her cries of pleasure. Because when he pressed his body into hers for the second time that night, she could feel that he was definitely not lying.

#nct #haechan #nct 127 #nct dream #nct fanfic #nct 127 fanfic #haechan fanfic #nct dream fanfic #lee haechan #mark lee #johnny suh #haechan fic

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gunsatthaphan · 8 months

Text

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: August 2023 ~

🕶️ Happy September!!! 🌻

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Stay Still - August 1st (Hong Kong) 🌟 Sing My Crush - August 2nd (South Korea) 🌟 The New Employee (movie version) - August 3rd (South Korea) 🌟 Love in Translation - August 5th (Thailand) 🌟 My Personal Weatherman - August 11th (Japan) 🌟 Love Class Season 2 - August 11th (South Korea) 🌟 Only Friends - August 12th (Thailand) ✅ 🌟 Dangerous Romance - August 18th (Thailand) ✅ 🌟 I Feel You Linger in the Air - August 18th (Thailand) 🌟 Friend. Boy Friend - August 19th (Thailand) 🌟 Lucky Love - August 20th (Thailand) 🌟 Casanova Begins - August 20th (Thailand) 🌟 My Universe - August 20th (Thailand) 🌟 Kiseki: Dear to Me - August 22nd (Taiwan) 🌟 My Plantito - August 23rd (Philippines) 🌟 Why R U? Korean Remake - August 24th (South Korea) 🌟 Man Suang - August 25th (Thailand, cinema release) 🌟 Firstly "Like" You (movie) - August 27th (Thailand) 🌟 Crazy Handsome Rich - August 28th (Thailand)

Monthly likes/dislikes

❣️ Only Friends - I mean. do I have to add anything lmao. that shit has me in a tight ass chokehold lmao. there are a few minor things that I wish were different but overall I'm obsessed and it's nice to have something that lives up to the hype. we don't get that very often. Thumbs in up.

👎🏻 Dangerous Romance - so far I don't like it, let's hope it gets better.

New series & movie announcements

🎥 Fermat Kitchen (manga adaption) - Date TBA (Japan)

🎥 Love Supremacy Zone - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 Blossom Campus - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 A Secret Love (starring Kimmon W. & Kut T.) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Organize The Chaos - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Iridescent Love - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Hell Guards - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Wheels and Axle (movie) - Coming November 17th (Japan)

🎥 Love For Love's Sake - Date TBA (South Korea)

🎥 Ambiguous (high school romance) - Coming early 2024 (South Korea)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ Actor Inn Sarin (The Miracle of Teddy Bear) joined GMMTV. ❗️ The upcoming Domundi BL Middleman's Love as well as the GMMTV adaption of Cherry Magic have commenced filming. Both shows will likely air towards the end of the year. ❗️ Over a year after its initial announcement, the upcoming BL Wish Me Luck (starring Na Naphat & Fiat Pattadon) is now in production. ❗️ The uncensored Chinese BL Stay With Me was renewed for a second season. Further details are unknown.

❗️The Korean BL manhwa The Art of Taming a Tiger is getting a Korean synchronization/dub. Mingyu (Boys Planet), Lee Minwook (My Magic Closet), OBON (BOYS24) & Han Gi Chan (Where Your Eyes Linger) were announced as the main voice actors.

❗️The 2014 Thai BL Love Sick is getting a remake that is scheduled for 2024, marking the 10 year anniversary of the production. The show was Thailand's first mainstream BL and is considered a classic and a milestone in the industry. The remake will be produced by the company Tia51. Further details are unknown.

❗️The GMMTV BLs The Eclipse and Moonlight Chicken won Best LGBTQ+ Programs Made in Asia at this year's Content Asia Awards. ❗️ The period BL Man Suang (starring Mile Phakphum and Apo Nattawin) has made history as the movie with the highest advance ticket sales in Thailand in the last 20 years, grossing over 10 million baht on its opening day alone.

❗️Actor Bright Vachirawit announced that he is leaving GMMTV to start his own entertainment company.

❗️ It was revealed that the GMMTV2024 event will take place in October this year. Every year the company hosts an event where they announce their new project lineup for the upcoming year, including a trailer + a short Q&A with the respective cast. The event usually takes place in November or December. A GeminiFourth BL has already been confirmed by the company a few months back; rumors for other BL mains include PondPhuwin and JoongDunk, as well as a new GL couple. Further details are unknown.

Upcoming series & movies for September

👉🏻 Senior Love Me? Season 2 - September 1st (Thailand)

👉🏻 Naughty Babe - September 2nd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Venus in the Sky - September 2nd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Marry Go Round - September 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 The Promise: Honeymoon Lost and Found - September 9th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Our Story - September 9th (Philippines)

👉🏻 You Are Mine - September 15th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 Bump Up Business - September 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Right Time, Right You - September 17th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Kimi ni wa Todokanai - September 27th (Japan)

👉🏻 Absolute Zero - September 27th (Thailand)

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guzhufuren · 1 year

Text

welcome darlings who had to flee twitter, here is a little introduction to KinnPorsche tumblr for you 🏳️‍🌈

1. our content creators (fic writers, artists, gifmakers, shitposters, meme makers, people who post cast/show updates) are what keeps our community afloat, reblog their stuff. likes don't do anything! no reposting/stealing, only reblogging please!

2. when reblogging it's better manners to leave your note in tags than commenting in the reblog (for example: # wow kinn's tits are especially perky here). unless you have something important or funny to add. then you can write in the reblog itself

3. try leaving notes in tags when reblogging, we content creators really appreciate it and it gives us an energy boost to make more delightful KinnPorsche posts. you can compliment gifmakers on their gif quality (# how did you manage to highlighten pete's butt so well op??), write a hugeass keysmash on funny posts, or write a whole poem in tags about some blorbo (beloved character) the post is about. go crazy

4. we are warm and fun and overall much less toxic than most twitter spaces. don't bring ship wars here, no shitting on branded pairs, and for the love of god don't be creepy about Barcode

5. if you don't agree with someone's opinion in the KinnPorsche tag, block them. don't go arguing in their inbox, learn to shape your own tumblr experience, just block whoever you don't like and forget about it. we all do it here

6. you can find some KinnPorsche blogs that you like, go through their tagged stuff and like/reblog as many old posts as you want, it's not weird or creepy, we encourage deep diving here

7. if you post something in the tag, do not cross tag! for example, if your post is only about Bible, don't go tagging it with Jeff, Apo and Tong's names too! some of us track these actors' activity and don't want to see irrelevant stuff. same with tagging different bls on a post that has nothing to do with them. don't do it!

8. engage with other users and make friends!

have fun, feel free to drop questions in my askbox or dms, and remember we are all here for one reason which is

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #kimchay #mine #biblebuild #mileapo #i will tag but don't feel obligated to reblog besties i just saw sudden follower influx #userboots #usermor #leftontheladder #usertph

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tabithatwo · 10 months

Note

Do you believe Jackie and Shauna have a codependent relationship in canon? and if you do, who do you think is who in the relationship ("giver"/"taker") dynamic?

i think this is a very interesting and difficult question to parse out, mostly due to the fact that they're teenagers when we see them together. being 18/19 really does mean heightened emotion, less frontal lobe development and therefore less impulse control and ability to moderate our interactions with others, more hormonal imbalance, just a perfect storm of codependency. i say this lovingly, as a lesbian who experienced what its like to be a teenage lesbian and did her fair share of insane shit lol, the type of crazy you can attain as a teenage sapphic is fucking unmatched. there is this deep and unyielding attachment that forms between girls in general at that age and when you add romantic love that spark of crazy easily transitions to a wildfire. i think so many people see themselves in jackie and shauna because it is a more shared experience than we like to admit and the show fucking nails it.

when you're in it, you think that you're the only one feeling that sort of intense obsessive consuming need for a person. often you don't see that the other person wants and needs you just as deeply, because we all do our best to hide what we know isn't acceptable. and its true. that sort of desperation isn't healthy at all. we should all strive to be more comfortable in ourselves and to stop putting all our happiness (not just happiness really, because when you're consumed by someone like that every emotion hinges on them) into external factors, especially one person. but learning to do that is a process. we don't come out ready to do that. it takes time and development and independence that you can't achieve when you're that young.

then we get older and we're embarrassed when we look back on those behaviors. we shove them down and pretend they didn't happen as best we can and we definitely avoid talking about them with other people. i can't tell you the amount of times a rush of just total abject horror at how obsessed i was with my high school best friend, turned homoerotic nightmare, turned girlfriend, turned ex hit me in my mid twenties. like your brain starts kicking in and you just go GOOD GOD!!! what was i THINKING??? but more years pass and time makes the sting of things lighter and now i can talk to her and sometimes (sometimes!) we can broach the really fucking deranged things we did and thought and its weirdly healing and horrifying all at once.

now, idk if you're still with me because that was a long intro that didn't even touch on the topic yet, but i promise i'm getting somewhere:

i think that jackie and shauna are fully and completely dependent on each other. i don't think that there is one giver and one taker. i think that they are a beautiful and tragic example of the crazy obsessive entangled love that happens between young sapphics. for me, watching them and discussing them and writing them is so freeing, because it allows me to actually face the harsh realities of unhealthy dependence.

neither of them could ever be whole without the other. and i don't mean that in a romantic hyperbole-fueled manner. i mean that in a truly horrifying way. i mean that to them functionally, they are girls who have body parts as real as any other, that are unattached from their nervous system. jackie's arms are shauna's arms and shauna's arms are jackie's arms. each girl has two hands that touch and do and create and destroy, without her brain giving the okay. each girl has to watch, as an extension of herself does something that she would never ever allow. when they're apart, when they're fighting and hurting, when shauna goes to sleep in the attic, its as though their lungs and their hearts are in another room.

who gives and who takes is hard to answer in specifics, though the simple answer is both for each. but the best way i can put it is that jackie gives more and more in the tangible real world. she tries to anticipate shauna's every need. she gives her the last bite of food. she gives her everything she has and then some, because jackie's biggest fear is shauna taking a seam-cutter to all the parts of them that are sewn together and becoming a separate entity. jackie squeezes shauna tight in her hands and shauna gives more pieces of her body and soul to their shared cache than she wants to.

shauna has an image of freeing herself from the dependency, but she doesn't like to reckon with herself and she doesn't like to see all the places that she expects jackie to be an extension of herself. so when she tries to make space, shauna doesn't even realize that she's not separating them at all. she's touching where jackie touches and kissing where jackie kisses. she is trying to be jackie, but not truly in a jealously way. not in a way that undermines their romantic love. shauna is trying to be jackie in a way that intensifies their dependence, because even if consciously shauna is aging and trying to forge a path for herself with a new school and a new life, like most of us tend to try and do at that age, shauna is still subconsciously trying to fuse them into one being.

and when jackie dies, shauna absorbs her. because she can be both. she's been practicing for this her entire life.

#shauna shipman #jackie taylor #jackie x shauna #shauna x jackie #jackieshauna #shaunajackie #yellowjackets #asks answered #yellowjackets meta

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skippyangel16 · 1 year

Text

My final post…

The Waypoint when ‘it’ was given life and perhaps they lost their way for good?

Three’s a Crowd…and it always appears there’s three in this ‘public marriage’. 2018…when they ALL took on their roles!

Whilst they could be contractually obliged to deny their relationship, no one could make them do what they have done.

They gave it life and it continues to grow…

We’re doing it now people, action!

The ‘directors’ direct…

Sam has his prompt, Cait guides Tony…oops nearly walks past🤣

Oh we’re doing this now, let’s make it look convincing…

#awkward 🫣

Tony has had a makeover ….Sam takes it all in… looks like he’s about to 🤮

👇What it could have looked like if authentic 🤪

Below👇Cait is talking. Sam replies ‘right, okay?’

Cait speaks again whilst giving him a reassuring arm rub 🥰 the love in that arm rub speaks volumes!

Sam asks (appears to say) ‘Do you get all this shite?’ eyes immediately looking at….🧐 whatever she replied his smile says it all. They are both happy together despite the shit show. Happy to deceive?

Let’s not ever forget just how staged this is!

How anyone can’t see the performance 🎭 is beyond me? Pure Hollywood…

Since then they have both actively supported the narrative more and more each year so whilst you can feel sorry for them back in 2016 (when they appeared to be pressured to go underground)today it’s harder. With every performance they do they make it more unlikely that they will come out anytime soon. His book reiterated Cait is the only woman but it also brought the brother/sister relationship to the fore again🤮. I’m afraid that’s pretty much made my mind up there’s no imminent plan to come clean. He has cemented his single commitment free life in black and white, any u turn on that now revealing a totally different version with his ‘perhaps sister’ would have a huge backlash from those who part with 💰 for his products. Alas although his alcohol business is growing it’s likely he is more reliant on fan sales than he would like to be. Maybe one day it won’t be so but perhaps single Sam will be around until the scales tip the other way?🤷‍♀️

There is no denying they actively manipulate all sides of the fandom…ours included, but the fact remains our side is basically them just being themselves and most of the time it just happens naturally! IMO 🤪

But it’s not all innocent …

Some wise words from Jamie.

When you have to sell your part truth…can’t imagine the stress and damage to your soul!

He (allegedly)is a good man leading a fake life and when you can’t have your truth, it will destroy you. Can you be a good man if you deliberately deceive, lie and manipulate?

Can you really feel 💯 % proud of it?

Someone recently said on one of my posts they have ended up with the ‘cover up’ book and will think twice about what they buy in the future. That’s a fair comment.

When I look at this card I have an overwhelming urge to add IT to his SH.

The shit show lives on…😢 I just wish they would stop feeding it!

Keep your secrets but tell us no lies…

Alas I am all done here, the book has shown a lost man. If anyone needs to pick a lane it’s Sam, he’s trying to be everything to everyone, so who looks crazy? Single Sam will never be convincing when all he talks about is his married co star and when in her presence looks at her as if she is the only woman on earth.

Lies are poison, a sure path to self destruction. I don’t wish to watch that happen or anymore cycles of this shit show. They are actually abusing their fans by doing this imo. Excuses will always be made for whatever Sam does by thousands here, his god like persona and charm are like a spell that keeps us all engaged. His ability to come out of everything smelling like roses is truly amazing. He knows exactly what he’s doing and what he will get away with. Denying his family as his truth ✅ yep seems there’s nothing he can’t or won’t do and yes fans have already excused him. JMHO.

Everyone will continue to make excuses for him until you can’t, my tipping point is him denying his family in his memoirs. Call it artistic license if it makes you happy, or blame the ghost writer, but I wouldn’t want to put that out into the universe.🤮

Sold it as His truth…totally supporting the narrative, nothing good about that.

I knew once I reached the point that I believe they are totally complicit in their fan manipulation for their own gain I would leave. They may not have started out that way or intended to reach the level they are at now but that’s how toxic Hollywood works. ‘It’ has become their normal. They are their own jailers and complicit in their own narrative imo. It’s their life and their choice on how they want to play/live it. I choose not to watch it any further. Sam has shown his true colours in this book, no one to hide behind. Who is Sam Heughan? Well con artist springs to my mind at this point in time but that’s JMHO. I no longer like what I see so therefore I just don’t care anymore. I still believe they are together but there is no joy in watching this farce, there are no winners here.

I came here for a love story but all I see is a public tragedy on display and a private tragedy waiting to happen as their lies engulf them…I hope they find their moral compass and follow it again soon. What could have been their best years have now gone by. No doubt they will one day cash in on their Hollywood love story, may even star in it as themselves…but that’s some way off imo. They are as free as they want to be, the only one that actually needs freeing is Tony but maybe he’s happy and got a job for life?

His book is my waypoint out of here. I can finally see them for who they really are, as I don’t wish to blog negatively I’m freeing myself of their lies and manipulation. They only have themselves to blame for what the fans believe here whatever side your on. It’s an ugly, sick game and a total turn off… it’s not good for anyones mental health!

Officially signing off from blogging S&C but I wish them nothing but happiness.

To everyone here thanks for making me welcome and all the discussions!

Wishing you all good health and happiness!

😘

Over and Out…

#@skippyangel16 #tumblr #samcait #final post #post Nov 2022 #waypoints don’t get lost #waypoints

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chuckwon · 1 year

Text

Here's Why I Want A Chuck Won Plot For The Sequel

Not to go the off about this on a random Saturday night or anything, but I have not stopped internally vibrating since the SPNWIN finale because the potential for a Chuck Won sequel plot line feels so implied and therefore so close I can taste it. I know that there are several people who don't like it as an explanation for the ending of season 15, and/or several people who don't like the idea of it being used as a sequel plot in the future. So I would just like to talk about why I, personally, am passionate about wanting them to use this particular avenue to move forward.

I'll likely unavoidably repeat some of the things I've said before elsewhere but... fuck it, I'm in my feelings, I want to get this out. Rambling on or whatever.

For the sake of clarity, here's a reminder of the POV I'm writing from: A) that Chuck's victory is canonically what was deliberately written as the plot of season 15, B) that it's meant to be noticeable and pointed out as tragic, and C) that even if you argue about the semantics of the literal order of events in the plot that add up to that result, Chuck's victory in some fashion is still the byproduct of the story's final execution.

The thing that I feel can and does get lost in a lot of fandom discussions about this concept is... D) the fact that Chuck winning is an allegory for and commentary on censorship.

I will go back to that. Follow me here.

With SPNWIN as a whole and especially the season one finale, we have already gotten step one of something incredibly subversive: it culminated very loudly in making it clearly canonical that Dean is some semblance of trapped. He is not happy, he is not at peace, he is not done. These are things that many of us in fandom who have brains all already kind of knew and took for granted, because we understand this story and this character and so we understand that 15x20 was not a good ending. But when you step back, what SPNWIN just established is actually a Big Deal in comparison to the fake veneer of happiness that 15x20 was (supposedly) trying to sell to us–and that it did indeed effectively sell to a large number of casual viewers.

Now, here we have canon openly demonstrating that Dean's ending was not okay, in general or to him. Objectively that wasn’t necessarily the case previously with 15x20 alone, but now it is the case.

That is a how-the-turntables level of redefinition of 15x20 in canon. Those crazy bastards fucking did it. They gave Dean Winchester back his agency and had him tell us for 13 episodes that the finale was inarguably Bad, and then they showed his sad grieving self still pining for his happy ending and his angel. That's fucking wild!!! Oh my God!!!

Whew. Okay, anyway:

So SPNWIN has made it clear that The Finale Was Bad, that Dean still needs and wants his happy ending, and that he knows what that happy ending should look like–as demonstrated in this whole hall of mirrors show, through the healing/romance/hope/future we witness the cast of The Winchesters getting to have.

If they stick with that vibe moving forward (which they may not. Continuity could get tossed), to me it then wouldn't make sense if they tried to move forward with any kind of sequel plot or angle that tries to say "okay, now Dean really will Find Peace And Be Done In Heaven." Because they seem to have made it clear that Dean doesn't want that. He wants out! He is fucking around and finding out!

To me, the next logical question to tackle in the plot as part of getting Dean back in the game would be this:

Why did those bad things happen to Dean in the finale?

Look, they don't have to answer that question with a plot-driven reason, obviously. They can go with the (boring) angle of nihilism that's basically like "Yeah Dean died and it sucked, but shit happens and that’s part of free will. It was an unlucky situation :/ he should get another chance at life though!" Or they can absolutely do something totally wacky and out of left field to explain lmfao. (I mean, hell, the Akrida were out of left field and that was only lessened when they tied them back to Chuck.)

Orrrrr.

They could go with a plot that's SOMETHING along the lines of explaining how Dean’s death and the fracturing of their family feels like an injustice to him because it is, and that shit did not just Happen, and that it wasn’t just arbitrary bad luck but rather he didn’t get his happy ending because Something Else was going on pulling the strings at least a little bit.

In that sense, Chuck- / Jack-related fuckery feels like the next natural through-line to me. I'm aware I'm heavily biased, but I want them to go all in on that angle so badly, and the point of this post (yes, there is a point!) is that I want to tell you why I want that.

The strength in the potential of an explicit Chuck won storyline in a continuation–other than the fact that it would be damn good television–is that, if done correctly, it would explain why the ending of season 15 sucked in the first place. And it would explain it not only in-narrative but also out-of-narrative.

Chuck exists to act as allegory, and that's what has always made this concept so significant, subversive, and compelling. Chuck's function and purpose is to be an allegory for producers and/or network executives, and thus the function and purpose behind a Chuck won storyline is to reveal the controlling forces of those figures. And because Chuck is the personification of the Original Creator's intentions that the characters are trying to supersede and defy, the fact that at the end of season 15 they do not get to grow beyond those intentions–aka the fact that Chuck wins and they don't get their full freedom–is indicative of the fact that the characters were not "free" or allowed to defy the Original Creator's real-world intentions either.

The idea that Chuck won is not simply a fun view on why the finale sucks or a fun plot idea for the future. It's because Supernatural is a censored queer text and higher forces won largely because Destiel was not allowed to be explicitly reciprocal. A pillar of the argument is that there could be no happy ending without Destiel; reciprocal Destiel was not allowed, and so the characters had to lose.

That is still the state of canon right now. Chuck's victory is amongst the many threads season 15 left dangling to potentially pick up and play with moving forward, and they don't HAVE to pick that thread up and make it into a central plot for a continuation. But if they do... Man. If they do, it would open the ending of season 15 to further examination for anyone who cares enough to pay attention to it, and that would also open up commentary on the censorship that caused it in the first place.

Here's what I mean:

SPNWIN has left us in a place consistent with 15x19, seemingly further highlighting that something is wrong with Jack. That's huge. Whether that "something" is Chuck possessing him or–potentially more likely–that the God power Jack absorbed has corrupted him, the point is that Jack needs to be freed because Chuck's influence endures.

Making the Akrida into a Chuck fail safe has already leaned into that idea, in a way. Even if Chuck is "gone," his influence wasn't gone entirely. The characters were not fully and entirely free from Chuck's lasting effects on the universe that they inhabit.

But now with the destruction of the Akrida, those effects are supposedly gone. But what if they actually aren't gone completely? What if something is wrong with Jack? What could that mean for Dean's story specifically and the happy ending he still wants and needs?

Apply that to the allegory: if Chuck's power has possessed or corrupted Jack, then Chuck's enduring influence that the characters still have to wrestle with becomes about the enduring influence of industry censorship.

It's then about the insidiousness of the forces that make it difficult for writers to let their stories and characters grow out of what was originally meant for them, especially when those stories are not meant to be queer narratives and yet are molded to have queerness centralized. It's about saying... you (the writers + characters) thought you'd be able to get free but you couldn't; you thought you could write the happy ending but you still haven't gotten to. How have higher forces twisted and shaped things into something unrecognizable? How do you make it back from that and rid the story of that negative influence once and for all?

Hypothetically, examining what Chuck's enduring influence fucked up in the story would then have to examine what censorship fucked up in real life. If they have to break out and return to reality, what does that look like? What is revealed? Dean and Cas could not reunite because their love was real and threatened Chuck's enforced unreality. Dean died and Sam got an apple pie life because that was always part of the ending Chuck wanted to see. Jack was taken over and/or corrupted by God power as part of Chuck's plan because he was powerful enough to help unite them all as a family, which threatened the classic "brothers only" focus of Chuck's story. Chuck's power was still personified in Jack and influencing the outcomes and that's why all of this tragedy occurred. They have to reunite, break the cycle, heal their family, and save Jack while getting rid of that personified God power once and for all, releasing it back into their universe so that power is now in everyone/everything rather than concentrated in overseeing forces threatening their freedom.

And when Chuck is an allegory for the censoring forces in real life... for anyone who cares to engage their brain cells, this could then make it abundantly clear(er) that the end of season 15 was not simply ~bad writing~ or ~cowardice~. It would retroactively redeem, explain, and redefine Supernatural's original "ending" as a backed-into-a-corner narrative gamble embedded with the ability to shine light on the source of its problems, the hope that in the future the story could be continued, and the keys to give the characters justice especially in regards to the queer narrative.

You can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't think that would absolutely rock, but then I will have to simply agree to disagree with you.

Because I would very much like to fucking see it.

It is literally ALL RIGHT THERE. It's THERE, it's so close, and this story could reach its highest potential and make several lasting, impressive points in the cultural realm for anyone who gets their heads out of their ass and stops ridiculing it or stops layering their interest in it under 1000 levels of irony long enough to look at how special it is!!!

[shakes the table with my hands]

AAAAAAAA

Okay, sorry, I'm devolving. But in conclusion: I want this. And though the prequel seems to be hinting towards it (QUITE LOUDLY), there is of course absolutely zero guarantee that any mysterious future sequel would go in that direction for several reasons, let alone the fact that it's objectively a ballsy as hell approach to take.

I still want to write a very long meta about The Winchesters' overall themes and its Chuck won propaganda (lol), so uhhh I reserve the right to plagiarize myself in the future from this post for that purpose. But I had to get this specific thought out sooner rather than later because, to be honest, I am simply going bananas.

JENSEN ACKLES, GIVE ME ONE PHONE CALL WITH YOU LOCKED UNDER AN NDA. PLEASE. PERCEIVE THE VISION.

#chuck won meta #the winchesters #spnwin meta #chuck won theory #the winchesters meta #I'm insane but it's fine. it's 12:46am and we lose an hour because of the time change tonight. things are fine.#my meta #I shouldn't post this tonight but fuck it I'll self-reblog tomorrow

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