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fatecantstopme · 2 years

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Why Wait?

Pairing: DBF!Bucky Barnes x plus size!reader

Summary: You've known Bucky for years, but the dynamic between you had begun to shift since you'd graduated college. He suddenly found himself struggling to act normal around you and you decided to make it your mission to find out why.

Warnings: Age gap (legal), reader is approximately 25, Bucky is approximately 39. Cursing. SMUT. Unprotected sex (P in V), oral (M receiving, F receiving), praise kink. Use of pet names (doll, sweets, baby). A little Dom/Sub vibes.

"Oh for goodness sake, Peggy. It's a two week vacation, not a six month excursion," your dad exclaimed in mock exasperation as your mom dragged two giant suitcases to the top of the stairs.

"You could at least help me, Steven," she grumbled in return.

"You know I will," he said with a laugh as he climbed the stairs and took both suitcases from her.

Your mother looked pointedly at you. "Marry a man who takes care of you without complaining."

You laughed. "Thanks for the advice mom. I'll be sure to let all the 25 year old dudes know that chivalry is important."

She rolled her eyes and descended the stairs quickly. She shot your dad an award-winning smile, which he returned with equal warmth.

"You sure you'll be okay by yourself, kiddo?" your dad asked.

"As you just reminded mom, it's only two weeks. I think I can handle that. I am, after all, a full-grown adult...mostly."

Your dad chuckled and shook his head. "I know you are. I just worry sometimes." He wrapped you in a big hug. "If you need anything, anything at all, Bucky's right next door."

"Yes, dad, I know. He's only lived there for like 10 years."

"Come on, sweetie, we're going to miss our flight if we don't get moving," your mom said gently.

You helped your parents get their luggage out to the car and packed in. You waved to them as they pulled out of the driveway, more than a little excited to have the house to yourself for a couple weeks.

It hadn't been your plan to move back home after college, but you didn't have much of a choice. You couldn't afford to live on your own right now, especially since your writing career hadn't exactly taken off yet. It did at least give you more time to dedicate to perfecting your craft.

You knew yourself though, so you knew there was no way you were going to spend the next two weeks holed up in your room, working on yet another chapter of a book you weren't sure you were going to finish. You had much more important things on your mind, like what the hell was going on with your neighbor, Bucky.

Your dad and Bucky became instant friends when Bucky had moved to the neighborhood when you were a freshman in high school. You would have to have been an idiot (or blind) to not think the man was deliciously sexy, but you also knew that he was way out of your reach, for so many different reasons.

Bucky and you also hit it off. He liked your humor and you pretty much thought he walked on water, although you hid it well. Bucky had taught you how to drive a manual, he'd taught you how to ride a motorcycle (which your mother hated), and he was always there when you needed him for anything. He'd been by your college apartment several times over the past 4 years to fix various things that the landlord just never got around to.

But things have been weird between the two of you ever since you'd graduated a few months ago. A lot had changed for you in the last couple years, but one constant had always been Bucky. For the first time since you'd known him, he seemed almost uncomfortable in your presence, and he actually seemed to be avoiding you as best as he could. You had to admit that you hated it, especially because you truly did count Bucky as a friend, despite the age difference.

Your parents being gone for the next two weeks gave you time to figure out what was going on with him. Had you done something to upset him? Did he finally decide that being friends with someone almost 15 years his junior was weird? Or were you just imagining the whole thing and over-thinking? If you asked your last three boyfriends, then yeah, option three was a real possibility.

You sighed and went back inside the house, mulling over exactly how you were going to dig into the mind of the most elusive man you'd ever met. He always seemed to be in a great mood, but then you'd walk in the room and he would shut down. You were used to his stunted ability to express his emotions, but this was a whole new level of emotionless.

The only thing working in your favor was that you knew him really well. It was a Saturday, and Bucky only did one of two things on Saturdays: hang out with your dad at your house, or hang out with your dad at his house. Which meant Bucky's evening was definitely completely free. Conveniently, yours was also completely free. So you concocted a plan to get Bucky to open up to you.

**********

At 5:30pm, you stood on Bucky's doorstep waiting for him to answer the door. When the door swung open, he looked genuinely surprised to see you on the other side of it.

You held up the items in your hands. "I brought pizza and beer." You walked past Bucky without another word.

"Um, (Y/N), whatcha doing?"

"It's Saturday night and I'm bored, so," you gestured to the pizza you'd just sat on his kitchen island. "I came bearing gifts."

He looked like he wanted to say something, but thought better of it. "Why would you want to spend your Saturday night at home with your old-ass neighbor?"

"First of all, I happen to like spending time with my old-ass neighbor, and secondly, have you met people my age? I have zero desire to go to a club and flirt with guys I have zero interest in taking home."

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle at your candidness. It was something he had always loved about you. "Fair enough. Although, I do feel some sort of away about you not correcting me when I said 'old'."

You grinned and handed him a beer, which he took gratefully. Lord knew he was gonna need a beer or two to make it through tonight. "For the record, you're not old, you just like to act like you are," you teased.

"Insulting me in my own home. Who on earth raised you?" he teased back.

"Wolves," you answered cheekily as you turned away from him in search of a glass.

Bucky inhaled sharply as he got a better look at your backside. You'd thrown on an over-sized t-shirt and leggings for comfort. You knew the leggings made your ass look amazing and the shirt hid all the little bumps and rolls you wanted to hide. You weren't ashamed of your body or your weight, but that didn't mean you wanted to dress up 24/7.

You were stretching up to reach a glass, which for some reason Bucky put on the freaking top shelf, when you heard his sharp inhale. You realized your shirt had lifted up when you'd reached, and exposed quite a bit of your legging-clad ass. You reached just a little farther, in part because you wanted to give him a little bit of a show, but also because you seriously could not reach this damn glass.

"Can I help you with something, doll?" Bucky asked from directly behind you.

You almost jumped out of your skin at his proximity. You tried to play it off so you didn't look like a weirdo. "I know you're tall, but do you really have to put your glasses on the top shelf? What if you have short guests?"

He chuckled. "I don't usually have guests. At least not ones who stay long enough to need a glass."

"Well, I hate drinking beer from a can," you pointed above your head, "so you think you can hand me a glass?"

Bucky reached up above you and pulled a glass out of the cabinet with ease, eyes never leaving yours. It felt strangely intimate, this moment, but as soon as the glass was in your hand, he was on the other side of the island, moving so quickly it was like he couldn't get away from you fast enough.

You poured your beer into the glass and reached for a slice of pizza. "Wanna watch a movie?" you asked casually.

"Yeah, that'd be good. As long as you don't pick something awful."

You laughed as you followed him to the living room, pizza box in hand. "If you promise not to pick a cheesy 1950s movie, then I'll let you choose."

"The 1950s movies are the best!" he insisted.

"Okay, old man," you teased.

"Hey," he said as he tossed a blanket at you. "I thought I told you not to call me old."

"When the shoe fits..."

He groaned and plopped down on the couch next to you, leaving a good foot of space between the two of you. He grabbed the remote, flipped on the TV, and started scrolling through different movies to stream.

"Anything look interesting, doll?"

Bucky had called you 'doll' for as long as you could remember, but it hadn't felt so...intimate...until recently. You couldn't deny that you loved the sound of it on his lips. "Hmm...just pick something funny."

"So you want a rom-com?" he teased lightly.

"I did not say that, Barnes. I said funny. Like comedy."

"Well too bad," he said as he selected what definitely looked like a rom-com, "I'm all about the romantic comedies."

You groaned.

"What? It's literally got the word 'comedy' in it."

You laughed. "Alright, alright. I'll watch it without complaining, but if it sucks, I'm absolutely gonna judge you."

"Rightfully so."

The two of you settled in, blanket covering you both, enjoying the relaxation of the moment, as well as the pizza and alcohol that was now flowing through your system.

As the movie played, you found yourself not paying much attention, focusing instead on the man next to you. His body language, his posture, the way his hair had little flecks of gray near his temples. He clearly hadn't shaved in a couple days and he was sporting a very sexy beard that you couldn't help but appreciate.

It wasn't until you'd reached adulthood that you actually began to truly fantasize about your dad's best friend. You were legal, which meant a relationship with him was legal, or at the very least a sexual one would be permissible. You'd never said anything, never tried to pursue it, and only flirted jokingly with him like you did with most people you met.

You'd seen the kind of women that Bucky would date over the years, so you were very familiar with his type. You swore they were models, every single one of them, but none of them lasted for more than a month or two. You and your parents were the most consistent thing in his life and you'd often wondered why that was. He was such a good person, but he was so entirely alone. It almost broke your heart.

"I can feel you staring at me," he said lightly.

"Shit, sorry!" you blushed as you looked away.

"It's okay. I got something on my face or what?"

You laughed. "No, I was just lost in thought. Your face happened to be in the way of my gaze."

He chuckled. "How rude of my face."

You elbowed him lightly. "You're a dork."

"Hi pot, this is kettle," he said with a raised eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes. "Shut up and watch the movie," you said in a teasing tone.

Bucky grinned and turned his attention back to the movie. You forced your eyes to look back at the screen, but by this point you had no idea what was happening in this movie. Hell, you weren't even sure who the main characters were.

About 10 minutes passed before your attention was once again broken by the sound of Bucky's voice. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." You turned your body towards him slightly so he knew you were paying attention.

"Why aren't you seeing anybody?" he asked softly, eyes still glued to the screen.

"You mean, like dating?"

He nodded.

"Well, um...I guess I haven't met anyone worth being with yet."

He nodded again. "But you had several boyfriends in college, as I recall."

"Yeah, but none of them would have ever amounted to anything long term."

"Hmm," he hummed. "It just seems like you deserve better."

"What do you mean? I don't mind being alone."

"A girl like you deserves to be loved, really truly loved. Adored. Worshiped." His voice sounded distant, as if he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying.

You were surprised by his words, unsure how to respond. A mere 'thank you' didn't really seem right, but it was all you could muster.

The conversation ended again, and you could have left it there...but you'd come here with a purpose, so you just couldn't stop yourself from asking, "Why aren't you seeing anybody?"

Bucky looked at you in surprise, as if he had no idea why you would ask him such a question.

"You asked me, so it's only fair..." you began.

"Right, yeah." He paused. "Um...I met someone who never fails to make me smile, make me laugh, make me feel like I'm a freaking teenager again. But I can't be with her, so I choose to be alone instead."

"Why? That sounds terrible."

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "It's not great, honestly, but it's better for her, and that's what matters."

"But if you want to be with her, why aren't you?"

"We can't, okay?" his tone was firm, final.

You slid to a different, but related, subject, "So what's with the parade of women then?"

"Parade of women?" he asked in surprise, eyebrows lifting as he regarded you.

"Come on, Barnes. You've got random hotties popping into your house regularly and you're always bringing some new model to parties and family gatherings."

He groaned, unsure if he actually wanted to answer your question. "You're one of the smartest people I've ever met, (Y/N/N), so why do you think I have them around?"

You shrugged. "Gotta get laid somehow."

He cracked up laughing at that. "Jesus, sometimes I forget how blunt you can be."

You grinned. "Never ask me a question you don't want the answer to."

"Shit. Apparently." He shook his head, eyes going back to the movie.

You watched the movie in silence for a few minutes before Bucky asked you another question. "So what do you do?"

His voice was so low, you weren't even sure you'd heard him correctly. "What do you mean?" you asked.

"You know...to satisfy your...needs."

"Oh," you said in a voice that was definitely a solid octave above normal. You cleared your throat before continuing your response. "Clubs and bars are the best places to pick up semi-drunk men with low standards," you said casually.

His head whipped around to you so fast you thought for sure he'd have whiplash. "I'm sorry, what?"

You shrugged. "Look, guys my age are assholes. It's a known fact. They're often worse when they're drunk, but they're horny as hell, so sometimes they're willing to compromise on their regular standards just so they can get laid. Mind you, it's never good sex, but every once in a while you get at least one orgasm."

Bucky's jaw dropped slightly. "I'm going to circle back to the bad sex, no orgasm part, but I need you to clarify this shit about 'low standards'. Are you saying guys have to lower their standards for you?"

You blushed, eyes not quite meeting his. "I mean, yeah. Sometimes. Most guys aren't exactly into 'big girls', ya know?"

"Hold up right there," he snapped. "Don't give me that shit. There's not a damn thing wrong with you or your body. You're fucking perfect and anyone who doesn't see that is fucking garbage."

Your eyes widened at the intensity of his tone. "I--"

"Those guys are boys, (Y/N), not men. They'll never treat you the way you should be treated," he said, cutting you off. "Don't even realize they've got a damn goddess in their midst," he mumbled, almost as an afterthought.

Your brain was operating at about 10,000 miles an hour. Bucky had just said a whole bunch of shit that you needed a moment to process. All of it was complimentary of you, some of it intensely so. Your only question was, what the hell did it mean?

You both went back to "watching" the movie as if that conversation hadn't just happened. You were still processing what he'd said, and Bucky was kicking himself for opening up his damn mouth.

The current scene transitioned to a very romantic moment, which quickly turned into a literal sex scene. You suddenly felt acutely aware of your proximity to Bucky, and you focused all your energy on breathing like a normal person.

Bucky's fist clenched under the blanket and his breathing sped up slightly. He wasn't at all turned on by the actual movie, but rather by his own imagination. He was imagining that the girl on the screen was you...and the man was him.

You felt the change in Bucky's body almost immediately. His shoulders tensed, his breathing changed, and he didn't move a single muscle. If it weren't for the rapid rise and fall of his chest, you'd think he was a statue.

You swallowed thickly, eyes now glued to Bucky's profile. You couldn't tear your eyes away, no matter how badly you wanted to.

Bucky could feel your gaze burning into him and it only made him want you more. He could feel his resolve slipping, and he knew if he looked at you, it would be game over.

"Why have you been distant lately, Bucky?" you asked quietly.

Your question surprised him. "What?"

"You've been acting strangely ever since I moved back home. I wanna know why."

You could practically hear the gears turning in his brain as he struggled to come up with a lie, some good reason for his behavior. "I've just been busy, doll. That's all."

You scoffed. "That's bullshit, James Barnes, and you know it."

An odd sound left his throat at your words. A sound you could only describe as a deep, low growl. "Don't say my name like that," he hissed.

"What, James?"

His eyes locked on you and if you didn't know him, you'd be terrified. He looked menacing, predatory. "Don't."

"Why not, James?" you murmured.

He gripped the blanket in both of his fists and you heard the gears of his metal hand whirring faster than normal. "You're treading in dangerous waters, (Y/N)."

His voice was lower than normal, deeper. You'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on. "Then tell me the truth. Why have you been acting weird, James?"

The moment his name left your lips, he practically pounced on you, pushing you flat against the sofa, his large body caging yours in place. "Because I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop myself from doing this," he whispered before attaching his lips to yours in a searing kiss.

You were surprised by the kiss, but that quickly faded into desire. You kissed him back with equal passion and slid your hands up to grip the hair at the base of his neck.

He moaned against your lips when you gave the hair a little tug. You gasped slightly when his metal hand gripped your hip tightly, holding you against him. The parting of your lips gave him just enough space to slide his tongue into your mouth, immediately asserting his dominance over you.

It wasn't until he felt a burning sensation in his lungs that he pulled away from you. You both gulped down deep breaths of oxygen, grateful lungs filling up to capacity.

Bucky looked down at you, pretty (y/e/c) eyes wide, lips parted slightly, chest rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. It was an exceptionally sexy image, one he wanted to commit to memory.

Suddenly, your phone rang, breaking the spell that hung in the room. You recognized the ringtone immediately; it was the one you had set for your dad. Unfortunately, Bucky recognized it too, eyes going wide with the realization of what had just happened. He jumped off of you as if you were literally on fire and he stood at the far side of the room, as far away as he could get from you without leaving the room completely.

You reached over to the coffee table and grabbed your phone, sitting up slowly as you answered it. "Hey, dad."

"Hey, kiddo! Just wanted to let you know that your mom and I made it to the hotel safely!"

"That's good. Did you guys have a good flight?"

"Yeah, no issues at all. Peggy--I--I'm sure she can hear you," your dad pulled the phone away from his head and you heard your mom's voice in the background.

"Hi, mom," you said with a chuckle.

"Hi, baby! We miss you already."

"No you don't," you teased. "You're at a resort in the Keys. I'm sure you're just fine without me."

"She's totally right," you heard your dad say in the background.

You heard what sounded like a smack and your mom grumbled something at your dad that you didn't catch.

They both yelled "I love you!" before ending the call.

You sat your phone down, and continued to stare at the wall, afraid to look in Bucky's direction. You could see him pacing out of the corner of your eye, and you slowly built up the courage to raise your gaze to him. "Buck--"

"Don't," he snapped, hand coming up to silence you. "We shouldn't--I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

You stood up and started to move towards him. "You didn't do anything that I didn't want you to."

He moved farther away from you, his back touching the wall. "It's wrong, (Y/N)."

"Why? Because society frowns upon age gaps? Or because of your relationship with my dad?"

"Both," he said softly, "But mostly the latter."

"I don't care about either one, for what it's worth," you whispered.

Bucky finally met your eyes. "Doll, we can't. Your dad will kill me."

You shrugged. "He'll have to go through me."

His eyes widened. "You don't mean that."

"The hell I don't. I happen to like you, Bucky, a lot more than I should. I'll be damned if I let anyone tell me that I can't."

You could see the war waging inside of him. The do or do not...walk away or give in. You couldn't tell what he was going to choose, but you needed to know more than anything.

"Why me?" he whispered.

"What?"

"Why me? Why would you want me?"

You scoffed lightly. "I could ask you the same question."

He leveled a hard gaze at you. "Did you forget what I said earlier? You're perfection, a freaking goddess. Why wouldn't I want you?"

You bit your lip, his response sending a wave of desire straight to your core. "I don't actually have a smart ass response to that," you said lightly.

"Good, because I meant it. Every word." He took a step towards you. "Now, answer my question, (Y/N). Why me?"

You took a deep breath. "Because you're...well you're you. You're funny, sweet, annoying as hell. You're there for me when I need you, like a shelter in a storm. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. So...yeah," you finished lamely, having realized you may have said too much.

Bucky stared at you in silence for a few moments, words completely failing him. He had no idea that you felt that way about him, and fuck if it didn't change things for him. "You remember that girl I mentioned earlier? The one that I can't be with?"

You nodded, not entirely sure where he was going with this.

"I didn't realize it until a couple months ago; I suddenly found myself unable to be in her presence without feeling like I was drowning. Like my emotions were going to overtake me and I'd have no control over my actions. I was terrified of hurting her, of making the wrong move, of ruining the only good things I have going in my life...so, I pulled away. I distanced myself as much as humanly possible. I couldn't be near her without wanting her, but avoiding her only made it worse."

You knew he was talking about you, you could feel it in your bones, but you couldn't get your mouth to say the words. Thankfully, he did it for you.

"It's you, (Y/N/N). You're the one I can't get out of my head."

"Then how could I walk away?"

He looked at you in confusion.

"Knowing all of that, knowing exactly how you feel...how could I walk away from you? From this?" you asked quietly.

"Doll..."

You took a step towards him, then another, then another, until you could place your hand against his chest. "Please don't make me walk away," you whispered.

He looked down at you and he realized he couldn't let you go now. It was too late. Any semblance of control left him as he gazed into your eyes. After all, if you felt the same way, then why shouldn't you be together?

He pulled you against him, lips pressing down on yours softer than before. He placed his right hand against your cheek as he deepened the kiss. He wanted to take his time with you, to treat you the way you deserved to be treated, but he was 100% certain that he wouldn't have enough self-control for that.

You pulled away from him. "As much as I would love to make out with you in your living room for three hours, I don't think I have the patience to wait. I want you now."

He groaned. "I wanna worship you, doll," he whispered.

"We'll have time for that later." You palmed the bulge in his jeans and he hissed sharply. "I don't think you have the patience to wait either, James."

"Fuck," he groaned. He grabbed your thighs, pulling you up so your legs were wrapped around him. The ease with which he carried you to his room would have shocked you if you weren't so turned on by it. It was the first time in your adult life that your partner was able to manhandle you and you loved it.

He tossed you onto his bed and quickly began to remove his clothes. You followed suit, eyes never leaving his insanely sculpted body. You felt the insecurity about your own soft curves start to creep in, but the hungry way he looked at you was enough to dispel those instantly.

"Wait," he said as he climbed onto the bed, wearing nothing but his boxers. "I wanna take those off."

You gave him a smile and simply nodded, allowing Bucky to remove your bra and underwear with a slow sensuality that almost had you begging for more.

He moaned sinfully as he took in your entirely naked form. "Shit, doll. How the hell did you get to be so perfect?" His tone was reverent and it had you dripping.

"Bucky," you moaned softly. "Touch me. Please."

He licked his lips. "Patience, doll. You've gotta learn your place." He stood back up. "You see, when we're in the bedroom, I'm in charge. Anywhere else, I'll be your servant, but here? Here, you're mine."

You moaned and arched your back at his words. You had no idea that you'd be so turned on by the idea of being so completely dominated.

"You like that, don't you?"

You bit your lip and nodded.

"I wanna hear you say it, pretty girl."

"I like it," you murmured.

He groaned as he palmed himself through his boxers. "You gonna be a good girl for me, baby?"

You whined loudly, clearly wanting to please him in any way you could. "Please, Bucky."

He grinned at you, eyes sparkling with need. He slipped his boxers off and you gasped as his cock sprung free.

"Holy shit," you said in awe.

He laughed lightly as he crawled back onto the bed, lips melting against yours. When he pulled back he whispered for you to move over.

You moved over and he collapsed beside you, laying on his back. You licked your lips as you eyed his cock, simultaneously wanting to feel it inside you and worrying about whether or not it would even fit.

As if Bucky could sense your trepidation, he touched your face and turned your gaze to his. "Don't worry, doll, I promise you'll be ready for me when the time comes."

You nodded, not entirely sure if you believed him.

He chuckled. "Trust me, baby, I've got you." He settled into place, pushing some of the pillows out of the way so his head laid flat against the bed. "Come on up, sweets. Wanna taste you."

"Huh?"

"Sit on my face."

"I'm sorry, you want me to what?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I want you to smother me with those thick thighs as I eat that pretty pussy until you can't stand it anymore."

You gasped loudly, his words sending an electric shockwave of need directly to your already dripping pussy. "I--I've never done that before," you whispered.

"First time for everything, sweets. Come here, I've got you."

You let him guide you as you climbed onto him, thighs on either side of his head. You hovered over him, unsure of how low you should go or how much pressure you should put on him.

He gave your butt a light swat. "Sit, doll."

"I am," you insisted.

"No," he dug his hands into your hips and pulled you down on top of him. "Fuck yes," he groaned as he licked into your pussy.

You gasped at the feeling of instant pleasure. You had never had a man eat you out the way Bucky Barnes was currently feasting on you. The sounds he made were sinful, but neither of you cared. Your moans were loud and your pleas did not fall on deaf ears. Every time you begged him for something, he provided it immediately. It didn't take him long to figure out exactly what you liked, something most of your previous partners never discovered.

"Bucky," you gasped, fingers digging into his hair as he pressed his face as far into you as he could. His lips and tongue were everything you never knew you needed. It was heaven, it was bliss, it was earth-shattering pleasure. It took him less than five minutes to have you coming apart on his mouth, body spasming as you orgasmed, soft whimpers of pleasure coming from your throat.

To your surprise, Bucky didn't stop when your orgasm subsided. He kept going, his grip on you tightening when you tried to escape. "Bucky, what--"

The pleasure began to build back up and you felt your body give into him completely. Bucky's moans reverberated deep inside you, letting you know exactly how much he was enjoying this.

You'd never felt anything like this before. The tightening in your abdomen, the shaking of your legs, the incredible pleasure you were feeling...it all culminated in another intense orgasm, only mere minutes after the first.

When you struggled against his grip this time, Bucky released you, allowing you to essentially fall onto the bed beside him. Your legs were weak and you were completely out of breath, despite the fact that he was the one who had done all the work.

Bucky licked his lips and shot you a heavy glance. "Anyone ever tell you that you taste incredible?"

You laughed lightly. "Can't say that anyone has."

He grinned and flipped himself so he was on top of you. "Well I'm more than happy to be the ultimate authority on that because no one but me is ever gonna be tasting this sweet pussy again, got it?"

Your eyes widened and you nodded.

"Come on, doll, I know you're still learning the rules, but I need to hear you say it."

"No one else, Bucky."

He groaned and rutted his hips down against yours. "You wanna know why, baby? Because you're mine," he growled.

"Yours, Buck. Only yours," you murmured.

He kissed you, your taste still lingering on his lips and tongue. You couldn't care less as you slid your tongue into his mouth and grabbed onto his shoulders to pull him down to you.

You both moaned as his cock brushed against your still soaking pussy. You realized that he would probably want you to return the favor, so you reached down to stroke his cock, surprised by the girth and length.

"Roll over, Bucky. Let me taste you."

He groaned into your neck before pulling away from you. "As much as I would love that, I don't think I can wait, doll. I need to feel that sweet little pussy wrapped around me."

Your eyes widened and concern covered his face.

"Hey, it's okay," he said softly. "If you don't want to, we can wait. It's okay."

"No, it's not that...It’s just--I've never," you paused to take a deep breath. "I've never had anyone that big before."

He chuckled. "You worried about it fitting?"

You nodded.

"It'll fit, baby, trust me. I'll go slow, okay? I don't wanna hurt you."

You trusted him completely, so you nodded your head. "I want you, Bucky," you whispered.

He groaned and gripped his cock in his right hand. He gave it a couple strokes before lining it up with your entrance. Almost belatedly, he realized something important. "Shit! Condom."

"IUD," you countered quickly.

"Oh thank god," he groaned as he started to push into you.

You gasped, mouth in the shape of an 'O' as he slid more and more of his cock inside of you, stretching you in a way that you'd never been stretched before.

"Shit, doll. You're so tight," he mumbled.

You clung to his arms, the only part of him you could reach. You couldn't say anything, the mix of the pain and the pleasure almost unbearable.

"You okay, sweets?" he whispered.

You nodded. "Keep going."

He leaned down to kiss you softly before pushing the rest of the way in. When he bottomed out, you both moaned, the feeling so incredible you needed a moment to just breathe.

Bucky gave you several moments to adjust before he began to move. The moment he did, your body arched up to meet his, gasps of pleasure leaving your mouth.

"You feel so good, doll. So warm and tight," he groaned.

"Faster, Buck--please," you gasped.

"You got it, doll." He sped up his thrusts, letting your moans guide his speed. The louder you moaned, the faster he thrust.

Each thrust was incredibly pleasurable, but what drove you wild was the way he spoke to you. He whispered soft words of praise against your skin, telling you how incredible you felt, how beautiful you were, how fucking perfect you were for him.

"You like it when I tell you how good you feel, huh, doll? You want me to tell you how sexy I think you are?"

You moaned, too far gone for any words.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. This pussy was fucking made for me. Takin' me so good. You're my good girl, aren't you?"

You nodded, gasping when he changed his angle.

He moaned loudly, feeling your pussy flutter around him. "There it is, sweets. Fuck--squeezing me so tight. Can feel how close you are."

Every single thrust hit your g-spot, a spot you hadn’t been sure actually existed before this. You could barely breathe, let alone think; the pleasure was simply too great. You dug your nails into his back as you cried out, orgasm tearing through you like wildfire.

"That's it, baby. Cover my cock. Feels so good."

Bucky's movements didn't falter, he kept thrusting into you, desperate to feel you release again before he let himself cum.

When you finally regained the ability to speak, your words were barely coherent. "Buck--too much."

"Just one more, doll. Give me one more."

"I--I can't--Oh, fuck--" you moaned loudly when his gentle fingers found your clit.

"You sure about that, doll?"

You continued to moan, but you didn't answer his question. He felt a little bolder now, a little more comfortable with you, so he slowed his motion. "Want me to stop, sweets?"

"Don't stop!" you cried out.

He grinned and quickly sped back up. "That's what I thought."

It took less than a minute for your fourth orgasm of the night to come crashing down on you. Wave after wave of pleasure ripped through your body, each spasm squeezing his cock so tightly he almost came undone.

He started to chase his own release, wanting to make sure you were thoroughly satiated first. "Fuck, baby--so good for me. Gonna fill you up, get you nice and full."

"Please, Bucky," you whimpered. "Wanna feel you."

"Yeah? You want me to cum inside that pretty pussy, huh?"

You nodded rapidly. "Please--I need it."

There was something about the needy tone of your voice that sent him over the edge. He came with a cry of your name, thrusts faltering as he spilled inside you, only pulling out when he was completely empty.

Bucky collapsed beside you, trying to catch his breath as he watched you come down from your own bliss.

After a few minutes of laying there, you were able to find words. "That was--fuck," you murmured.

He laughed and you joined in. "My sentiments exactly," he whispered, rolling towards you to plant a kiss to your temple.

"Am I supposed to be able to move?"

He grinned ear to ear. "Not if it was good."

"Think I'll be able to feel my legs by tomorrow?"

He laughed again. "You'll feel 'em, doll...but you might be walking funny."

"That's a new one," you said softly.

"I promise it won't be the last time," he said gently.

You turned your head to face him with a smile. "I sincerely hope not. I don't think I can live without your cock now. Or your mouth for that matter."

He laughed. "What about me?"

"Well...I suppose you're okay too," you teased.

He rolled over and tugged you into his chest. "Just okay? I'll show you just okay," he said lightly as he peppered kisses all over you.

"Bucky!" you laughed as you squirmed. "Stop--stop--I take it back!"

He grinned and kissed your lips softly. When he pulled back, his eyes were filled with an emotion you couldn't quite place. "I adore you, (Y/N). Just thought you should know."

You smiled at him and touched his face gently. "Me too, Buck."

He turned his head to kiss your palm before falling against the pillows again. "So I think we take a nice hot shower before crashing. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted."

"This would be a great time to make a joke about you being old, but I'm too tired for that," you joked lightly.

He grinned. "I just fucked you senseless, doll. You really wanna be cracking jokes about my age?"

"Touché."

He kissed the top of your head before pulling himself out of the bed. "Gonna start the shower. Make sure it's nice and hot."

When he came back, you looked up at him sheepishly. "I, umm--I don't think I can stand."

He grinned ear to ear. "You have no idea how much pride that makes me feel."

You laughed. "Maybe if you just help me up--"

Bucky cut you off by scooping you out of the bed and carrying you to the shower. You should have known he wouldn't let you try to walk.

He stepped into the shower and gently set you down on the bench at the edge of his massive shower. Thank god for the damn bench, you thought to yourself.

Bucky quickly washed himself before coming over to you and beginning to wash you. He moved slowly, gently, almost reverently, making sure every single inch of your skin was clean. When he decided you were thoroughly bathed, he turned off the water and carried you out of the shower, setting you on the marble countertop to dry you off.

When you were dry, he carried you back to his bed and gently laid you down beneath the covers. "Do you want pajamas? Mine will be too big for you, but I'm happy to give you some."

"Maybe just a shirt?"

"You go it, doll." He walked to the dresser, pulled out a t-shirt, and brought it over to you.

You threw it on quickly, surprised at how big it was on you. The guy was literally over 6 feet tall and nothing but muscle, but still. When you looked up at him, you were surprised to find him staring at you. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

"Sorry, sweets. You just look so hot in my shirt."

You laughed. "Thanks, Buck." You patted the bed beside you. "Come to bed."

Bucky quickly turned off all the lights and slipped into the bed with you. "I, umm--I sleep naked. Is that okay?"

You turned to look at him, mock disgust on your face. "So gross. I'm horrified," you teased.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I just wanted to make sure."

"I had your dick inside me like 30 minutes ago, Bucky. I think I can handle sleeping beside your naked body."

He felt his dick twitch slightly at your words, but he did his best to ignore it. Plenty of time for that later. He rolled towards you and kissed you softly. "Goodnight, beautiful."

You smiled warmly. "Goodnight, Bucky."

**********

You stirred when a ray of sunlight slipped through the curtains and into your eyes. You could tell by the shade of the ray that it was still early in the morning. You rolled over and were surprised to find Bucky still sound asleep beside you. You knew he was an early riser, so he was very likely to wake up soon.

As you laid there watching him, an idea popped into your head. You weren't sure if it was something you should do, but the more you thought about it, the more irresistible the thought became.

Lucky for you, Bucky was a hot sleeper. He'd thrown off all but a sheet sometime during the night. He was laying on his back, breathing even, eyes shut tightly.

You moved slowly, careful not to disturb him. You sat up and slowly peeled back the sheet. Much to your surprise, his cock was already half hard. You smirked, feeling like the gods had smiled down on you.

You were very gentle as you took his cock into your hands and slowly began to stroke it. He stirred slightly, clearly feeling something even if his brain couldn't place it.

As his cock began to harden more, you slipped it into your mouth, sucking slowly, letting soft moans of pleasure slip from your lips.

Bucky really began to wake up then, but he was still in a daze. He wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew it felt good.

You continued sucking as his cock grew to its full size. In moments he was rock hard and his hips were moving against your mouth of their own accord.

Bucky's eyes fluttered open and he slowly looked around the room. When he looked down, his breath caught in his chest at what he saw: your pretty little mouth wrapped around his cock, bright (y/e/c) eyes locked onto his face.

You moaned softly, as if to acknowledge the fact that he was now fully awake. Your moan pulled one from deep in his own throat.

"Fuck, doll--feels so good," he moaned. "I'm so close, baby. Keep going."

You were surprised by his words, thinking it would take longer to work him to orgasm. But you didn't stop, in fact, you sped up slightly.

"Oh, god--" his hands tangled in your hair and his hips bucked up slightly. "Just like that."

You focused more of your efforts on the tip, using your hands to stroke the rest.

"That's it, baby--oh, fuck--" Bucky's body tensed and he came with a loud groan, filling up your mouth with his seed.

You swallowed every drop, mouth not leaving his cock until he pulled you gently up towards him. He kissed you softly before rolling you over so you were under him.

"Good morning," he whispered.

You grinned. "Good morning."

"You're gonna have to sleep over every night if that's how you're gonna wake me up."

You licked your lips. "I wouldn't complain."

He groaned. "You're gonna be the death of me, doll."

"Is that cuz you're old?" you teased.

He looked at you in surprise, but his eyes started to darken. "You sure you wanna go there, sweets?"

You stood your ground, knowing you were going to be rewarded for it. "It must be because you're old, or you wouldn't--"

Your words were cut off by his fiery kiss. He barely gave you time to register what was happening before his head was in between your legs and you were crying out in pleasure.

You knew you were in for one hell of a morning...but you wouldn't have it any other way.

#james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #marvel smut #bucky barnes #dbf!bucky #dbf!bucky Barnes x reader #dbf!bucky Barnes x plus size!reader #plus size!reader #plus size smut

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catboylister · 1 year

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lister bird solo album

IT IS VERY REAL TO ME LETS TALK ABOUT THIS !!! pls be aware im not the best with my music terms, im what you may call a poser or whatever.

during their hiatus when lister is struggling with everything thats happened to him, both in his childhood and with the band. he's given the typical advice from his therapist to write stuff down. at first he thinks it's dumb, but he gets himself a nice leather journal and starts writing anything that comes to mind. long winded rants about things he feels are unfair, talks of shows he's watched, comics he's read, games he's played, and also the odd few pages of lyrics he's written. he starts to really enjoy song writing, and with time he starts to hyper-fixate on his writing and begins composing different melodies along with it.

both rowan and jimmy here him working on it late at night sometimes. rowan is the one who starts telling him he has the skill to turn his work into an album, even if it's just for him and no one else.

drums are still his favourite, always will be, but he sharpens his guitar skills too. its good distraction for him when he needs something to do, as it's something new and not automatic for him. he really has to focus on what he's doing, which takes him away from his own thoughts for a while.

singing is the opposite, he sings when he needs to let himself feel everything in the moment; process it, let himself cry a bit. unlike the arks music, the words are harder to sing along to because it's all written from his own experience. with the lyrics he's written for the band, as much as he's in love with jimmy's voice, hearing the words that are supposed to represent himself from someone else's voice feels wrong, so everything he's written there has been more of a concept. these words are actually his own. it's probably the most accurate representation of his thought process. as he signs, the tone of his voice fluctuates a lot. he goes from softly spoken whispers to harsh words spilling through a clenched jaw.

he produces the entire thing himself. lyrics, voice, guitar, percussion. it's all his own work and he's rightfully proud of himself. and he should be because it sounds beautiful, even with the little imperfections throughout it. he still struggles with everything he's written about, it's not as if it magically fixed him. but it helped him lots, he really feels like he's doing good for himself. in a musical sense, i feel like it would sound like a mix of fires fading into black (holden laurence) and your city gave me asthma (wilbur soot). laurence makes me think of how he'd play, it's quite soft, makes me feel warm. but wilbur makes be think of how his voice might sound, you can really hear the raw emotion in each line. (like that one loosing face demo.) thematically, it would have an overall theme of the loneliness he has felt for years, emotionally isolated from everyone around him. the songs explore different parts of what he's struggled with. unrequited love, uncomfortable conversations, his addiction, pressure put onto him by everyone, his childhood, his assault, the river.

he doesn't publicise it for a long while, not sure if he wants so people to know about this part of him. when he does, he doesn't announce it anywhere, but the fans find it soon enough. a new youtube channel under his name with just one, 27 minuet long video, with a sweet note in the video description, little words of motivation for who ever cared enough to read it. people freak the fuck out, but he just lets them, for a while, it's funny to watch. first the freak out because 'omfg content theres content guys' the 'omg is he leaving the ark what the hell !!!!' but the feedback is overwhelmingly positive. what he doesn't expect though, it people wishing him well and hoping he's okay, as well as people going through similar things saying how comforting it is for someone they look up too let them know their not alone. its the first time he feels a slight connection to the strangers that form his fanbase, in a way, it makes him feel less alone too.

jimmy listens to it himself for the first time, he'd never asked much about it as he knew it was personal. it's the first time he cries over music in a long time. lister sings of things he'd never spoken of to either himself or rowan, while he had a vague idea of some of them, he never knew how much these things really do effect him. after staring at his ceiling for a while to recover, jimmy finds himself in listers room, hugging him tightly. he tells him that hes proud of him, not just for the album, but just for facing everything and still being with them.

#jimmy sleeps in listers room that night #maybe they kiss #youll never know #iwbft #lister bird #jimmy kaga ricci #rowan omondi #i was born for this #osemanverse #alice oseman

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lady-stardust-incarnate · 29 days

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ok this one probably should go on the vent blog but some of you might have actual advice so tw for venting and yeah any advice on it would really be appreciated

right so last year I dated this guy who we'll call Bob for now and I dont really feel like going into detail about it right now but I recently came to terms with the fact that this guy gave me very severe trauma and a lot of problems I've not been able to solve since

the first example that comes to mind is that because of time zone difference with him being 6 hours behind, we would usually text when it was quite late for me and if I wanted to go to sleep I would get full on guilt tripped into staying up later which messed up my sleep schedule a lot and even though we broke up in June last year I still haven't been able to fix my sleeping at all, like we're talking physically not being able to sleep until 4am most nights no matter how exhausted I am

that's the sort of fuckery that we're thinking of, anyway so we got together around this time last year (the 9th if we're being precise) and I dont know if its the time of year or other factors but for some reason I keep thinking about him in different situations

for example I was listening to a song earlier and just randomly thought 'hm bob would like this song' and it made me suddenly want to take the song out of my playlist and its just like why am I suddenly thinking of him considering we broke up months ago and I've not thought of him that much since, I definitely don't miss dating him, infact it felt like a massive weight off my shoulders when I finally broke up with him

the thing is that it's genuinely making me feel physically ill thinking of him and its been making me have panic attacks which I've not struggled with in ages and they're much worse than the ones I used to get and earlier I was reading a fucking wolfstar fic and literally broke down into tears because I just wanted someone to hold me and love me which spiralled into one of the most violent panic attacks I've ever had

the only other thing I can think of that would be causing it would be the recent talking stage I've been in with someone which was going really well but then suddenly things started reminding me of bob even though this guy is nothing like and way better than Bob (well at the time anyway, I have a couple of issues now but thats not the point)

I'm just genuinely so worried that this guy has permanently fucked things up for me in so many ways even though I thought I had healed from that time of my life

if you've actually read that I really appreciate you and any advice would be heavily appreciated :))

#damn that was fucking long #but yeah any advice would be heavily appreciated #other than 'get therapy' because that isnt really possible for me #evans rants

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superherotiger · 2 years

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A Pair of Silver Wings (Dadneto fic)

Oh boy, I’m absolutely hyped to be sharing my first Dadneto fic with you all today! X-Men (and specifically Dadneto and his Speedyson) have captured my heart and consumed my soul entirely ever since I watched the movies a couple of weeks ago! We were robbed of amazing Dadneto content in the films, but I’ve arrived with the fix it and the fluff in this gift for the bestie that started it all, the lovely @sunsetuniverse!! Hope you all enjoy!! - Superherotiger

AO3 LINK

~~~

“Hey Mags, what’re you doing up?”

Erik raised a brow as he rounded the back of the couch, observing the silver-haired speedster who was lounging back with his eyes glued to that obnoxiously loud game device in his hands. “I could ask the same of you,” the man replied, lifting his hand and dragging the device out of Peter’s grip with ease.

“Hey! Not cool,” Peter protested half-heartedly, though he made no move to snatch it back.

For a moment Erik simply observed the device the speedster admired so much, turning it over in his magnetic grip and noticing the buttons that had become worn down from overuse. Eric didn’t have much experience with video games. He preferred things like chess- methodical and strategic. Something that actually drew him out of the rabbit hole that was his mind, instead of the quick reactions and rush of adrenaline that this new era of games demanded. No, Erik had experienced enough of that on the battlefield as it was.

But he supposed for someone as fast both physically and mentally as his son, it was a fitting pass time.

“You’re supposed to be in the medical wing,” Erik stated matter of factly as he moved to sit beside his son on the couch.

“Yeah, well, you’re supposed to be asleep,” Peter shrugged, as if that were somehow a valid defence.

“Perhaps,” Erik mused, before the ghost of a smirk passed his features as he added, “But you see, I have this thing called an ‘injured child’ in my care-“

-A burst of laughter exploded out of the boy beside him-

“-and no matter what I do, said child insists on endangering himself despite how many times he is instructed to simply rest,” Erik continued with a strange mix of exasperation and fondness. Something he had only ever felt in the presence of his chaotic son.

“Please pops, give me a little bit of credit. I’m 27!” Peter huffed in faux offence. “I may be injured, but I ain’t no child.”

You shall always be my child, Erik thought warmly, before nudging Peter’s knee with his own and saying “Nevertheless, you should be resting. In the medical wing too preferably.”

Rolling his head back with a groan, Peter complained, “But it’s so boring down there man. There’s absolutely nothing to do, and time just drags on forever and ever- and trust me, for a guy who already feels time drag as it is I can tell you it’s a nightmare-“

Erik just made himself comfortable as he listened to his son ramble on about the severe boredom he had been forced to endure over the past few days. It was tempting to remind the speedster that his foot was only in a cast because he had ignored Hank’s earlier advice to rest his sprained ankle and gotten himself more injured in the process, but Erik knew the words would fall on deaf ears. Peter could be as stubborn as a mule when he wanted to. A trait Erik had not so proudly passed on, it seemed.

But deep down -underneath the menial complaints and over-confident façade- Erik could see Peter’s true struggle, which was his inability to run.

Speed was not just a power or a trick to Peter, it was his entire life. It defined him- gave him purpose. It was his weapon and his shield, leaving him practically invulnerable to anything that dared to threaten him or those he loved. Without his swiftness, he was defenceless. And Erik knew how awful that could feel- remembering those ten long years trapped at the bottom of the Pentagon, or the years he had spent trying to hide and restrain his gifts long after that. So detached from his true identity… from the power that could have saved his loved ones had he just been fast enough-

Erik quickly shook the thoughts away, turning his attention from the family he’d lost and back onto the family he still had. One look at those warm, dark eyes and that bright, mischievous smile again immediately reminded Erik of how lucky he was to have Peter in his life. Two survivors of a family that had only known hardship and pain and grief- but somehow through it all, they found each other. It didn’t right the wrongs of the past or return all that was stolen from them, but it was enough.

They were enough…

And when Peter’s ramblings were eventually slowed by the occasional yawn or scrub of his eyes, Erik took it as his sign to intervene. “If you insist on evading your bed downstairs, then will you at least attempt to sleep here?”

“What? Dude, no- I’m not even tired,” Peter bemoaned tiredly. “But hey, if you need to get some shut eye old man I completely understand, what with those aching bones and all-“

“Pietro.”

With the call of his birth name and the stern furrow of his father’s brow, Peter’s smirk quickly dropped with a displeased huff. A sign of defeat, if you would. One that Erik couldn’t help but celebrate with a coy smile of his own.

But always the one to have the last word, Peter rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at his father’s chest, saying dryly “If you’re gonna force me to sleep, at least be a decent pillow, yeah?”

Erik didn’t offer a reply, just raised his brow inquisitively and watched the boy lie down along the couch with his clunky cast stretched out and his head resting easily on his father’s cushioned leg. Neither of them said a word. Neither of them wanted to either; content to sit in the silence of familiarity. It didn’t take long for Peter to get himself comfortable, but sleep was clearly still out of reach judging by the little tremors and twitches that passed along the speedster’s hands and fingers. The residual instinct to move -be quick, be vigilant- now keeping him awake.

Noticing his struggle, Erik felt an old instinct of his own spark to life as he gently pulled a blanket off the arm rest and laid it over his restless son. It stilled the shuddering for a short while, but despite Peter’s clear attempts to subdue it, that pent up energy returned before long. So, with a careful turn of his wrist, Erik switched on the power to the record player sitting in the corner of the living room and lowered the needle down onto whatever vinyl Charles had last left on the turntable.

Gentle, soothing melodies echoed faintly into the air, and Erik felt his worries ease as Peter’s shifting and twitching soon settled against his side.

‘Although some people say he's just a crazy guy,

To me he means a million other things.

For he's the one who taught this happy heart of mine to fly.

He wears a pair of silver wings.’

Glancing down at his son through the dim glow of the hallway light, Erik felt his heart bloom with fondness at the sight of Peter’s peaceful expression and his wild nest of silver strands. All mutations both great and small were a wonder in Erik’s eye, but his son’s hair was undoubtedly his favourite. As bright as Peter’s spirit; as soft as his generous heart. It suited him to perfection, despite the doubts and concerns that plagued the young mutant so.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, Erik ghosted his fingertips over the waves of his son’s hair, admiring their silky touch. It wasn’t often that Peter let him or anyone else touch it -at least not after the whole ordeal with Apocalypse the year before- but it was a scar they were slowly working to heal. The fact that Peter hadn’t smacked his hand away by now meant he was neither nervous nor uncomfortable by the gesture, and Erik took it as permission to gently comb his fingers through those heavenly silver waves, soothing them both more than they could ever know.

‘But when I'm left alone and we are far apart,

I sometimes wonder what tomorrow brings.’

Closing his eyes for a heartbeat, Erik soaked in the warmth that had coiled around his bones in a soothing embrace. Promising a host of things he had only ever caught glimpses of in his dark past; safety and belonging, and serenity and love. Things he never thought he deserved…

Things that his beloved Pietro had given him anyway.

‘For I adore that crazy guy who taught my happy heart,

To wear a pair of silver wings…’

~~~

Lyrics from the song ‘He Wears A Pair of Silver Wings’ by Dinah Shore

~~~

Tag list:

@joyful-soul-collector @lost-lunar-wolf @lbigreyhound13 @aixabi @zanderljones @milstrim @anarinette @sfabsha @appleschloss @sdottkrames @katthebookiestnerd

#dadneto #speedyson #magneto #erik lehnsherr #peter maximoff #x-men #my writing #fluff #productivity? from THIS writer? It's more likely than you think

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labyrinthofsphinx · 5 days

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Statistical Outliers

Part 9 ish of drabble. I had to cut this part from the other because it was just too long. I think. It seemed long. Some hints into my headcanons for Vox's backstory too.

“Velvette, the kid is going to stay with me today.”

She gave him a look in the reflection of her mirror. He caught her in the middle of putting on what she would call ‘her face’. To be honest, he always thought she looked just fine without the makeup. She was a natural beauty, not an artificial one. But, she insisted, and he was never going to tell her that her efforts were a waste. It was an artform, he’d suppose. Back when he was alive, he’d only ever used the barest amount of makeup right before filming, enough to make his face look, universally, one color. It was a bit of a pain to work around when TV switched to color, but you got to keep moving forward, as they say.

As she lined her lips, a shadow of suspicious snuck into her eyes.

“Why?”

His chest hurt from the breath he was holding. When he let it go, it shook his body down to his shoes.

“You know why.”

He knows that Vel had probably also been trying to get the kid to sign the dotted line. Her methods usually involved some bullying, some sarcastic remarks, then switching it up to something that sounded sweet. She played both good cop and bad cop in her negotiations. ‘Oh, look how terrible you are, see how people dislike you’ and ‘But I like you. Here, let me help make other people see what I see. Let’s show them the real you’ are common phrases of hers. Clearly, it hasn’t been effective in this particular case. Not that anything Vox has done has been any better, but, well, he’s glad someone else tried at least.

“What do you plan to do?” She asked, pressing her lips together and making a pop sound.

“Feed him to the wolves, I suppose. Threats didn’t do much. I tried the honey after.”

“We could always make him to watch Val break your screen until he agrees.” She joked.

The worst part was, he had a sneaking suspicion that that might’ve actually worked if Vox wasn’t completely against the idea of Val beating the crap out of him. Besides, Val was indisposed today. His moth girls kept fluttering about the lounge tending to him. He’s pretty sure one of them already got her wings pulled this morning.

“Already filled my quota for broken screens this week, but thanks for the advice.” He said a little bitterly.

“Got it fixed in record time though.” She mentioned as she moved on to double checking her eyelashes. “He’s quite the little handyman.”

Ah, well, then she knows.

“He fix something of yours?”

“Yeah, my stupid co-worker.” She teased. Then, she ran a quick finger through her hair and turned around. “Look good?”

“Always.” He acknowledged.

Had she not just finished fixing her lipstick, he might’ve just got another kiss on the side of his face.

“Vee?”

“Yeah, Vel?”

“Don’t hurt yourself, yeah? With this whole…thing. I know you and Val are kinda stuck on getting it in writing, but there’s always something else we could do.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. An electrical collar or something. Just don’t beat yourself up too, ‘kay?”

First Val was being introspective, now Velvette. Was Hell freezing over?

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

She turned about, the waves in her skirt shifting when she moved. She readjusted her leather vest, then blew him a kiss as she stepped out.

“Kisses, darling.”

He pretended to catch it and put it in his coat pocket.

He took a moment to collect himself, then stepped back out. He was not prepared, at all, for the kid to leap over the furniture towards him.

“Velvette said we were hanging out today. Is that for real?”

Okay, Vox. You can do this. You’re on air! Smile for the camera!

“Yeah, you’re my problem today.” The kid’s tail swished behind him, just barley containing joy. “I’ve got some work to do this morning, and a conference around noon. I want you to come with me.”

“What’s the conference about?” He asked.

“A company concern that needs to be addressed. With any hope it will be a short meeting.”

“Are there going to be a lot of others there? I don’t need to get dressed up do I?” He says, as if he wasn’t already in top of the line fashion via Vel. Everything from the cut of his pants to the lining of his shirt was custom. It wouldn’t be good enough for her feed otherwise.

“You’re fine as is.” He answered, using his phone to distract himself from those peering, curious eyes.

“Do you want me to get coffee for you and, uh, your presenters?” He said, obviously not sure what Vox had in mind. He can only imagine that he was thinking of every other conference meeting from every movie about a dad who doesn’t spend enough time with their kids around the holidays. It was always a bunch of old men discussing numbers, profits, and something that sounded too greedy for the message of the movie.

“That won’t necessary. Either way, we…have some time. I’ve got some broadcasts to do. It’s not something you can really help with so-”

“You mean when you plug yourself into your chair setup?” He asked.

“…yes?”

“Do you mind if I tag along? It gets boring sitting down all by myself.”

He had planned on just keeping him here, or maybe even his room, until the time came for the…conference. Problem was, he really didn’t need the kid catching on. And he didn’t have an excuse for why he couldn’t be in the monitor room that didn’t sound like an excuse, not after having him by his side all morning just the day before.

“Alright, but same rules as last time. No bothering me when I’m in the middle of something. Got it?”

“Yes!” The kid clasped his hand in a silent fist pump.

He took only a few steps forward, just enough to enter the lift, when a hand reached up and grabbed his own. The kid backed up away from the outer circle. He knew where the line ends now and where the actual lift began. That didn’t seem to make him any more confident that he wouldn’t trip and go falling down the chute.

Come on, Vox. You’re not his friend, remember?

He pulled his hand away, bringing it instead to cross across his chest. Crossed arms were not a good look. It always seemed defensive, and Vox has made a point of avoiding that particular posture for a long time now. If he was going front of media, he’d never allow himself to be filmed like that. As they were just going to the monitor room, it didn’t matter. Still, the kid knew something was up. Nervous as he was about the lift though, he didn’t fight Vox for his hand back. Instead, he grabbed onto his coattails. He better not rip them, he thought.

The lift dropped them off right where they needed to be. His sharks swam over a little eagerly. Vox’s presence in the morning always signaled breakfast, and today was no different. A quick wave and the electronic dispenser dropped down their usual chum. No special, living treats today…at least for now. Anyone could piss him off and end up as a side snack. His patience was already trying on himself.

“Hi, Anchor! Hi, Barge!” The kid greeted them as he walked by where they swam. Weirdly enough, Vox could swear they responded to the names, turning for a moment to focus their beady eyes on the kid. They were probably sizing him up, to see if Vox would finally be tossing him their way but…for a second, it almost looked like…whatever the shark equivalent was for tolerance.

“What did I say about touching the tank?” He made himself groan.

“But I didn’t touch the tank.”

“Yeah, well, don’t stand so close either. Your spit fogs up the view.” He was trying to pick an argument. Give him something to be mad at the kid for until noon, anything to make the time more tolerable. Instead of giving him a fight though, the kid sighed, shrugged, then joined Vox by the monitors.

Fine then! He can just drown himself in his work, a proven method of distraction. The cables snapped in, sparks dancing around his head, before he was suddenly pulled across the city. Millions upon millions of smaller consciousness ripped apart from the main stem and sent spiraling down wires, across phones, and popping up in TV sets across the ring.

So far so good. He kept his gaze out, to his empire and his enslaved viewership. ‘Trust us’ echoed back to him like a never-ending tunnel of voices. He could just stay here if he wanted, where physical things mattered little and his kingdom of stolen time lasted forever. He could get himself lost down winding threads of random topics: what new places popped up, what’s the latest trend, what’s the biggest gossip. The internet was a clusterfuck of thoughts all screaming into the void a bunch of nonsense with the hope that someone else out there would respond with something intelligent. It was a bunch of questions asked that have been asked before and by millions of others. It was a collection of knowledge; it was a dumpster fire of idiocy.

It was a great, mind-numbing distraction.

But his physical body felt something tapping against his chair. A series of taps, a code he’d memorized so long ago in the past that he remembered more from the muscle memory of writing it a hundred times than recognizing it from a glance.

It was a transmission. At least it would be, if hooked up to a transmitter.

Loxley to Foulfellow. Airways open. Ready to receive transmission.

That was just the kind of thing that would snap Vox from any distraction. The wires plugged into his head popped from the surge. His claws dug into his seat, creating a series of scars from the drag. Hot, seething rage forced his fans to overwork. All around, monitors sparked, accidentally catching them in the after current of his shock and anger. A piercing eye bore down on the little fox sitting next to him.

“Who are you contacting?” His voice filtered in from every single speaker about, making an odd feedback that contorted the message. It hardly sounded like a voice at all.

The kid seemed surprised by the sudden outburst. His head tilted to the side, innocent act already showing its face.

Oh, but he wasn’t going to fall for that again. And to think! He might’ve actually felt bad for what had to be done later. But it was always a trick. It was always a lie.

“Huh?”

He slammed his fist down, putting a dent in the metal armrest. The kid actually fell backwards from the impact and his own alarm.

“You think because you tapped in Morse that I didn’t understand? You think you could trick me? ME? That code is my mother tongue. I spent four fucking years of my life speaking only that code, and you thought you could slip that by me? Really?”

It was Alastor. He knew it in the pit of his heart, it was Alastor. Who else would he be contacting if not the fucking Radio demon himself.

“I wasn’t contacting anybody-”

“Don’t. You. Dare. Lie. To. Me.” He snapped, teeth ripping from the digital plane into the physical as he snarled.

“I’m not.” He said in a small voice. “Foulfellow is my grandpa.”

Vox pulled back, only slightly.

“…Explain.”

“My grandpa taught me morse when I was little, ‘cause I was too scared to talk when I was really young. I kinda tap things out of habit sometimes now when things are too quiet. His callsign was Foulfellow and my is Loxley.”

“Callsign?”

“Yeah, he was a pilot, you know? Back in World War II. His squad called him Foulfellow.”

His fans overcame the last of the heat, now just comfortably sitting at a cold, neutral temperature. Foulfellow? He felt like he’d heard the name before.

“Foulfellow…as in the ‘Flying Fox’ Foulfellow?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Why? Heard it before?”

Heard it? He watched it.

“He was one of the best, kid. Maybe the best. I don’t think they ever tracked his kills right.” He remembers it, clear as day. Assigned to get new footage to send home for the broadcasters. Show us something amazing, they said, something that was going to sell bonds. Well, he found it, filmed it, and set it home. Years later, he even played a role inspired by the man who terrorized the sky that day.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he was one of the meanest cats in the sky. I saw him scalp six in one day, then kept strafing the ground troops. Had them pinned until he finally had to go back for fuel. Did…did you not know your grandpa’s a war hero?”

“I mean, sort of. He didn’t talk about it too much. He always said killing people didn’t make you a hero, saving people did.” A glint caught in the kid’s eye. “Wait, did you know him?”

No, but he wishes he had. After the war, people made heroes into stars, real or imaginary. If you served, which nearly everyone did whether they wanted to or not, you had a much better shot of being America’s new headliner. He knows. It did wonders for his career. Before he’d been offered the role, he heard that the directors went to the man himself to play the character inspired by him. He was told he refused, said Hollywood wasn’t for him. Last he heard, the Flying Fox planted his feet in the ground someplace, started a family with that little army nurse he married.

And here was proof. Huh.

“Don’t ever tell anyone what you just told me.”

“But-”

“Listen. There’s a reason most everyone here doesn’t use their real names.” Unless you were a nobody in real life, like a certain red freak, then it didn’t matter as much. “Everyone’s got enemies. Scores to settle. If you’ve got a famous name, you’ve got a big target on your head.”

“…is that why you don’t see like…really famous evil people from history down here? They’re all hiding?”

“Trust me, kid. If they aren’t hiding, they’re dead and never coming back.” Hell didn’t tolerate rivals. If someone died and their large movement died with them, they are immediately targeted by overlords. Most didn’t last the week. Hell also had its own weird code. Similar to a prison, perhaps, where inmates decided that certain people were just not worth the breaths they were taking. That’s one of the reasons that Vox almost never saw anybody from the opposite side of the war. That, and he might kill them himself. There was never a bad time to burn one of them from the inside out.

“I always thought it was because of the deals, ‘cause you have to sign your real name for it to mean something.” He added.

That was another part of it. People have drawn the similarities between deals in Hell with deals in fairytales. As far as Vox knew, which was considerable judging from how many employees he had, dealmaking didn’t strip a person of their name entirely. Though, maybe it could, in a warped sense of the meaning. And, it was a road that seemed to go both ways. Say what you will, ‘Vox’ was a completely different person when he was above ground and still going by the name his father picked out.

On the subject of family members, he wondered what dear old dad was doing. It’s strange that he hasn’t come across him down here. Then again, maybe he has. He could’ve barbequed him a long time ago and just never known. Aside from personal experience, he wasn’t exactly memorable.

“Names have power here.” He conceded. “And so does knowledge. Keep yours close to your chest, got it?”

“Got it.” He nodded back. “So…you said you were speaking Morse for four years-”

He rolled his eyes.

“Kid, I am not going into my past.”

“Um, okay, but I just wanted to know what your callsign was.”

Oh. Um.

“…Bogie. They…the boys called me Bogie as a joke, after the actor.”

“Bogie? Like Humphrey Bogart?” He chirped.

He fought tooth and nail with his face to keep it the fuck together. Don’t you dare smile at that.

“How do you even know who that is?”

“How could I not?” He almost sounded offended, before winking. “‘Here’s looking at you, kid’.”

Okay, whoever it was that forced this child to watch the classics…well done. Bravo, truly. There was one of them left in the world with taste…until they killed him. See, this is why they can’t have nice things.

For just a moment, in the back of his head, he wondered if he could start up movie nights again. He tried so hard with Vel and Val, but he had to let them pick the films sometimes. Either it ended up with Val putting on something to seduce Vox, or Vel put on some recent flick she learned about through the grapevine, things hardly ever worth the hours wasted watching them. Then, she’d jump on her phone the whole time it was playing. Both of their attention spans were exactly zero for any movie with drama, charm, and dialogue that required there not to be explosions every two seconds. Look, he enjoyed a CGI action flick like anyone else, but if he ever wanted to watch a movie that was actually good, not just entertaining, then he had to watch it in his own time. And when did he ever have that?

“You know, for a kid that died in the 90s, you sure do watch a lot of old crap.”

“It’s not crap.” He defended immediately. “And ask Velvette. Certain things never go out of style.”

Oh great. He was quoting them now. The last thing he needed was for the kid to start sounding like any of them. If he ever quotes Val, he’d seriously consider a muzzle.

“Right, well, I’ve got to get back to work, so keep quiet and out of the way.”

“’Kay.” He proceeded to do exactly not that, walking up close to the tank again and encouraging his sharks over. His fingers played against the floor like piano keys. Vox’s eyes from every corner of the room caught the pattern, even if he couldn’t hear from softness of the taps.

Loxley hailing Bogie. Message received. Ending transmission until all clear. Over and out.

A series of blips peppered out from one of his speakers. It was so inconvenient how convenient it was to transfer his thoughts across the mainframe sometimes.

Bogie transmitting to Loxley. Read you loud and clear. Directions to be given shortly. Over and out.

The kid’s ears flicked back, and he lit up as Vox turned his attention back to work.

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5/ Part 6/ Part 7/ Part 8/ Part 9/ Part 10

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel fic #hazbin hotel ficlet #drabble #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel the vees #the vees

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wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

your voice

angsty vibe, requested by @hollandlover19 than you for th rq and hop this doesn't disappoint too much :)))

summary: tom says something so stupid and has to deal with the consquences

warnings: a bit angsty, but ends in fluff! argumnts and raising voices, I guess could be associated with panic attacks tho not written with that intention

//////////////////////////////////

“Oh, Y/n er sorry.” Harrisons morning dulcet tones were what you were awoken to with a groan.

Everything was achy, and your head was pounding, making you grumble in discontent as you shifted uncomfortably on the technically too-small-to-sleep-on sofa.

This was not the morning you’d foreseen even 12 hours ago.

Lockdown had been difficult for everyone, even removing the tragic health crisis. Being locked in with your boyfriend and his brothers and friends was, for the most part, amazing. Lots of laughs, lots of beers and lots of quality time that you usually didn’t get. But it was also intense.

Without a doubt, since you first got together, this was the longest time you’d ever had with Tom. And it had been brilliant, your relationship getting so much closer and just learning the subtlest intricacies about the other. In fact, when lockdown had been announced, you’d never lived together (the most a week-long holiday).

Though it was also like a pressure cooker, Toms rented house. When one of you were in an understandable but stubborn lousy mood, it affected the whole house.

Yesterday night had been the perfect storm. The weather was unbelievably scorching; your work had announced that they had to let some staff go because of the financial implications of the pandemic; a ‘mole’ had released personal details of your relationship.

And it was like a pot on the stove; everything went from controllable to violently boiling over in a matter of minutes.

Honestly, you didn’t even know why you had started arguing - it was that pathetic. And yet you’d both said pretty horrible stuff - though it was Tom who had crossed the line. Frankly, the way he’d spoken to you was almost unforgivable.

You’d both known instantly too, all his anger at you had immediately evaporated when he’d realised what he had said. It took no time for him to become a grovelling apologetic mess, however even that- it was already too late.

It might sound feeble, but honestly, you’d run and locked yourself in the downstairs loo. You’d cried on the inside- whilst from the other side of the door, he had been begging and pleading with you.

After an hour though, Tom finally gave up - hence why you’d had a pretty uncomfortable night on the sofa.

This brings it back to Harrison, the early riser of the house, barrelling into the living room after his morning run. All bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, except also slightly terrified looking as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

“I’m up now” You sighed, dragging yourself into a sitting position on the sofa whilst massaging your crooked neck.

“You er…. you fell asleep watching the TV?” Rolling your eyes, you sighed at the blonde, even if his poor acting was a little entertaining.

“Are we both pretending that you don’t know what went down last night?” Of course, Harrison knew. The walls were thin, you’d been screaming and he was Tom’s best friend. No doubt, Tom had immediately gone to him for help and advice last night.

Harrison held his hands up in response, caught in the act, and clicked his tongue. “What he said was bad. You shouldn’t be the one ending up with the sore back.” He wasn’t wrong.

“And yet here I am…” With a sigh you smiled which he returned with a sickeningly empathetic one “Anyway, don’t let my sad self get in the way, did you come in here for anything?”

Now, because Harrison was mentally a five year old, that’s how you ended up sat crossed-legged on the floor, clutching a wii remote and angrily shouting at yoshi on the mariokart screen. The whole household was competitive as hell and you were no exception - so some rouge elbows were flying when he viciously knocked you off the track.

Slowly Harry and Tuwaine filtered in and picked up remotes too, so the quiet morning was very quickly switched into a tense atmosphere of yelps and shouts. None more so than Tuwaine, who was possibly the worst looser you had ever met.

Really, you knew all the boys were only doing this as there way of showing you they were with you. That they also thought Tom was a massive raging dickhead. And you appreciated it more than they would ever know. Locked down in Toms house, very much not mutual ground, having three stupid boys behind you meant everything.

Just as you got on to the 18th and final race of the house’s mario grand prix, another voice cut across the tense silence as you waited for the coutdown to turn into ‘go’. Naturally, you flipped round to see Tom, looking as though he literally just rolled out of bed with puffy eyes and messy hair and no top. The sight made your heart flutter, to the point you had to consciously check yourself - refusing to smile softly at him like you usually would, instead narrowing your eyebrows and looking back at the TV.

Tom had so desperately hoped that when he came down this morning, everything would be better. That all it’d take would be a quiet conversation for the two of you to make up - for him to have you in his arms again. Primarily as he had heard your excited laugh echoing through the halls in reactions to Tuwaines yelps of protests - it made him hopeful. Waking up to a cold and empty bed was almost soul-crushing this morning. He did not want it to ever happen again.

Which is why his heart sank so much when all you gave him was a scolding look, before turning your attention to the TV. Admittedly, he was naive to think that what he’d done last night would be an easy fix - he knew it too. So with dropping shoulders, Tom silently took a seat on the sofa, watching from afar. You spent the rest of the race more absent, not joining in with the Harrison or Harrys trash-talking, acutely aware of Tom’s eyes burning the back of your head.

Then came Harry’s celebrations as the overall winner (only just) and when Harrison suggested another game Tom piped up again.

“Give me a turn Harry.”

The three boys kneeling next to you all stiffened, looking immediately to you for what seemed like consent - as if they were engaging with the enemy. (At least it was good to know everyone was on your side).

“I’m gonna go prepare for my meeting anyway.” You spoke quietly, already placing the remote on the floor and standing up.

“Y/n I don’t mind swappin-“

“No. Thanks, H but no.” You weren’t being selfless and giving Tom a turn. You were running away from seeing him.

And Harrison was still really angry at Tom. He’d been so selfish and insensitive and had hurt you- someone who Haz also cared a lot about too. Yes Tom was his bestmate, that he’d grown up with and known for years - but Haz really liked you too, in fact all the boys did. So they were almost as pissed with Tom as you were.

So while you threw the cushion you were sat on back on the floor, Harrison shot Tom the filthiest look and practically shooed him away.

“come on Y/n … just one more? Then you can do your boring work.” You were about to refuse when Haz tilted his head toward the door, only then noticing that Tom had slipped out the room. Now that he was gone ,yes, just one more wouldn’t hurt. The meeting prep wasn’t time pressured; it was an excuse for an escape.

Tuwaine whooped a little when you nodded, planting back down and ready for the first race. Yet apart from that, the room was still a little awkward, you being the first to break the silence.

“Actually Haz, would you mind giving me a lift today?”

“What to the shops?

“Um no not quite.” Tuwaine laughed in his usual innocent and infectious style before asking more.

“Seriously? You know we’re locked down? Boris won’t be happy if you going mad and leaving the house.”

“Just to Y/f/n’s. She lives on her own so it’s legal.”

“She lives just down the road right? Can’t you walk?” Harry was confused, making him look away from the screen, ultimately leading to his ‘diddykong’ falling off the track.

“I’ll have my bags. I um… I think I’m going to stay with her till lockdown eases more.”

As soon as you said that, Harry pressed pause on the race, all three boys looking at you mouth-opened.

“For real?”

“Yeh I um… think me and Tom need some time apart and being locked in isn’t helping.”

“I’m not saying to forgive and forget what he said… but he is really sorry.”

“The twats literally kicking himself.” Tuwaine added, making you smile a little for calling Tom that.

“I know just… I need some space and-“

“Are you breaking up?” Harry almost announced, cutting you off. He would miss you too.

“No! Nono I … well I don’t know. I just- we both need this.”

The boys all nodded, looking at the floor for a moment before Harrison’s blue eyes were back on you.

“Course I’ll drive, but… but I’ll miss you.”

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You’d left merely an hour later, whilst Tom was holed up in the garden doing what looked like an almost unbearable work out. It meant he was also out your hair and you could throw all your stuff into two suitcases without him being any the wiser. It was probably pretty cowardly to leave without speaking to him, but you couldn’t. It would hurt too much and you didn’t want to break down in front of him. No doubt as soon as you had got to Y/f/n you did - into a blubbering mess of tears - but Tom hadn’t seen so it was okay.

Speaking of. Tom.

Tom was not in a good way at all. He’d been trying really hard to curb his’ short fuse’ lately- all of which had been well and truly blown in the past 4 hours. After finally being realised from meetings, which he’d not been able to concentrate on anyway, Tom had mentally prepared himself for a lot of grovelling. Once he’d vaguely hunted the house and not found you there, he naturally asked Harry and Tuwaine (both of whom were in the living room) if they’d seen you around.

It was a typical question, the answer he was expecting was that you’d just gone on your daily walk. And yet the response he got was… well a lot more confusing. Harry’s eyes widened whilst T did his awkward-uncomfortable chuckle, the two locked in an intense bout of eye contact. It was as though they were arguing with each, but through the powers of telekinesis... and it put Tom on edge. He was already stressed because you were so angry with him, so not getting a clear answer out of his brother and best mate - lets just say it tested his patience.

“You two need to tell me what the hell is going on right now.”

The two boys both looked panicked to speak to him, which was the opposite of the usual situation. They were some of the ONLY people in his life that would just say it how it is, no sugar coating. Like if he was away and being ‘famous’ was getting to his head; or if he wore the wrong pair of jeans. Even yesterday evenings events, they’d both called him out on what he’d said to you.

So why the silence?

Eventually, it was Harry who spoke up, but in doing so, practically just waved all responsibility on to another innocent party.

“Ask Haz.”

And then Tom knew. He knew this was bad. Immediately his heart was pumping at an alarmingly fast rate, taking the stairs two at a time and not bothering to knock before bursting the door open.

“Where’s Y/n?”

Harrison was reclined back on his haphazardly made bed, laptop balanced on his lap as he looked up with a sigh. He’d known this conversation was coming, but it didn’t make it any less easy. With a sigh, Haz closed the lid of his MacBook and sat up on the bed.

“Tom just-“

“Where. Is. She.”

“She’s gone to Y/f/n’s.”

“Oh… okay.” Suddenly Tom’s voice was muted, thinking he might’ve blown his top at nothing. This wasn’t weird - Y/f/n was in your support bubble and you went to hers often.

Tom was grossly underestimating the situation - and Harrison heard didn’t fancy stringing him along though.

“No like gone. She um… she took all her stuff. I think she’s going to stay there till-“

Tom was already out his room at that point, slamming the door as he did so. Making a beeline for his own room, Tom then frantically started to pull out the draws and rummage around the shelves, confirming what he already knew. Your clothes were gone, your toothbrush and toiletries were gone, you were gone.

It’s important to note Tom didn’t really cry all that much. Or if he did - it was more inconsequential, at a sad movie or one of the rescue dog stories from battersea. Actually, when it came down to it, he didn’t really cry.

Now though, it was impossible to ignore the burning of his eyes, as he sank down onto the bed that now felt twice the size. With ragged breath, he repeatedly fisted his eyes, not actually letting the tears fall - but it was impossible to not acknowledge their presence. Harrison stood wordlessly at the door frame, knowing it best not to interrupt - whilst at the same time knowing Tom shouldn’t be left alone. There was a delicate balance between the two, which he was walking on a knife-edge on right now.

After a short while, Tom looked up with red eyes and nodded at Harrison, effectively granting him entrance. With a sigh once again, Haz moved and sat next to Tom on the bed, clasping his hands together nervously.

“She said you both just needed a break from each other. Think lockdown and everything was just a bit too intense.” Haz had tried to explain, yet it seemed Tom had only managed to lock onto one of the first words.

“A break? Or breaking up?”

“I uhm… she didn’t explicitly say ending things. But I just… I don’t know to be honest mate.”

“You see the way she looked at me this morning? Like she hated me. Wouldn’t even acknowledge that I was there.”

“I don’t know what to say… she needs time and space I think.” Tom was silent for a beat, shaking his head as he cradled his forehead.

“I hate the fact you and my girlfriend are on better terms than I am.” Anddd his voice was back to scathing.

“I’m not on anyones side. But your both my friends and she… she needed some time.”

With that, Harrison made a quick exit out, getting Harry to take over the Tom supervision.

Ever since the atmosphere in the house had been tense. To say Tom was highly strung was an understatement, particularly towards Harrison. Deep down he was thankful Haz was looking out for Y/n: he was glad that Haz was checking she was okay. It’s not like Tom could, because Y/n was refusing to answer his calls, texts, whatsapps, even the slip of paper he’d slipped under Y/f/n’s door in the middle of an especially dark night.

So it was good to know Y/n was okay, but the fact she was going on socially distanced walks with the rest of his housemates was rubbing salt in the wound.

After a week and a half of complete radio silence on your end Tom had utterly worn down. He didn’t have the emotional capacity to be angry anymore, he was just tired. Tired of missing you with every breath, tired of the ten-tonne weight of guilt pressing on his chest, fucking exhausted with being angry at Haz and Harry and Tuwaine.

The best thing in his life and one of the very limited opportunities was quality time with the people he loved more than anything else. He had ruined it all.

And it was the small things. It was waking up to your soft, whispered voice in the morning; it was your infectious giggle when he surprised you with a hug from behind and gentle kisses to your neck; it was your quiet singing in the shower. Especially when he knew Haz, Harry and Tuwaine were all still seeing you and laughing with you. It hurt like hell.

Which is how he ended up hesitantly knocking on Harrison’s bedroom door at half eleven at night, with his tail between his legs. Having been so uber-healthy all lockdown, Haz was already in bed following his sleep cycle, though for Tom right now- he would be awake.

“I’m um… I’m sorry I’ve been a knob. There’s no excuse of anything I’ve just… I’ve been a knob.”

“You’re not wrong.” Harrison nodded in agreement with a sly smile, motioning for Tom to come into the room, after which he perched on the edge of the bed.

“I just… I need to speak to her but I… I don’t want to push her if she’s still hurting and I…”

“You absolutely promise not to blow your fuse? Because she couldn’t handle that.” Tom’s eyes widened, thinking this would be a much harder pitch than how it seemed to be going.

“Yesyesyes i- I promise. I just, I feel broken you know? Even if all I get is the time to say sorry, I-I really need to.”

Harrison released a deep breath, nodding slowly before throwing the covers off himself. Tom watched all his movements with a curious gaze, silently sitting as Haz pulled on a hoodie, then socks too.

“Well? Let’s go.”

//////////////////

Now, what Tom had not in the slightest bit been prepared for was this to happen tonight. Really, he hadn’t even thought Harrison would agree to let him talk to you… and even if he had, Tom not in hell thought it’d be at 11:30 that evening.

His heart was thundering in his chest, trying to hurriedly script how on earth he was going to apologise meaningfully to you - as him and Haz walked the short distance to your friends house. Honestly the whole situation was peculiar to Tom - finding it hard to believe that if you weren’t to answer his texts you wouldn’t be open to an in person conversation.

What Tom didn’t know, was how you’d been texting Haz at a similar point of desperation. You weren’t happy and even given everything Tom had said and acted - you missed your boy. No matter how infuriating he could be when trapped 24/7 - you’d quickly learnt this was the only way you wanted to spend these weird times.

So yes, Tom’s best friend knew you were hardly sleeping either, but needed that little push to interact with you boyfriend. No doubt, you’d still be awake to answer the door.

Once he’d arrived at the apartment block and walked up the stairs to the right floor, it still took some prodding and pushing from Harrison to get Tom to knock on the door. Plainly, because he was shitting himself. Haz hadn’t given him enough pre warning, enough time to work it all out in his head. So it took another encouraging nod from Harrison for him to knock on the slightly rough-round-the-edges flat door.

Y/f/n was single and young, starting her career in Kingston - so the flat she could afford was modest at best. When it was just occupied by a single person, that was manageable - two was a push. You’d only been living with her for a week and a few days but it was enough to know this flat was not ideal for two people in lockdown. You were already stepping on each others toes. It also wasn’t technically legal to move households but Y/f/n had always been in your support bubble as a single household otherwise. And so there was also a layer of guilt to it all.

Naturally then, sharing a bed with someone who wasn’t Tom meant you just were not sleeping. Even if you had both gone to bed early (just to kill some hours in the day) you were still wide awake at quarter to twelve - when a timid knock echoed through the minuscule apartment. Curiosity peaked at who the hell would be calling now; you silently slipped out of bed, managing to not disturb Y/f/n, and closed the bedroom door.

Now you weren’t an idiot. Even though this was southwest london, hardly the capital for crime, Y/f/n lived in a dodgy building with some questionable characters. And it was midnight. Hence why you approached the situation cautiously, tiptoeing to the door and waiting with your ear pressed against the wood.

“I told you she wouldn’t answer!”

“She will! Might just be in the loo or something.”

“Haz this is stupid-“

The air in your chest froze when you immediately recognised the smooth tone of his voice. It was him… and you’d missed that so much. Already there were tears in your eyes and you couldn’t open the door just yet. So no, instead you slid down the doorframe before calling quietly out into the night.

“Tom?”

The bickering on the otherside of the door was silenced, but you heard a quite tap on the door... and could envision exactly what was going on. Tom, pressing both palms and his ear to the door, as Harrison took a few steps back - sensing his work was done.

“Y/n? You there?” He sounded desperate, you could hear the emotion dripping off his voice. It was only when you tried to reply did you realise your own voice was having a harder time speaking.

“Yeh its-its me.” It felt as though this heavyweight that had been pressing down on your chest was slowly lifting, making your voice all cracky and low.

In response, there was a short and sharp exhale. It sounded relieved before some fidgeting as you imagined him crouching down beside the door - mirroring your image.

“Fuck, it… it feels so good to hear your voice.”

“Yours too… I’ve-i’ve missed you.”

Tom snorted at that, a gentle bang allowing you to realise he’d just whacked his head on the back of the wood.

“You have no idea how this week felt.” He was wrong though, you did.

Yes, maybe without the insurmountable guilt that Tom was rightfully feeling, but it didn’t mean that the time apart wasn’t easy.

“I do. This hasn’t been a nice holiday for me you know?”

He sighed, knowing that yet again he’d said the wrong thing. This time though, he didn’t rebut instantly (which surprised you), instead his response was more measured and calculated.

“I am so sorry. And of course, I know because I was the one that hurt you too. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that.” You nodded but given this conversation was happening through a door Tom didn’t see your gentle agreement - opting to fill the silence.

“I um… I’m not good at this whole um… speaking my feelings. But I’ve hated myself ever since I picked that fight with you. It was stupid and uh it-it was all my fault. I’m so so sorry for hurting you.”

“‘Why?” You tried to ask, except the words were stuck in your throat, making you have to clear it before asking again. “Why did you say it?”

“To get a rise out of you. It’s stupid and petty and fucking-fucking dumb. I said it not because I’ve ever thought it, I never ever have, but I knew it’d hurt you. I was preying on your insecurities because I was angry at the world and that was so unfair. “

“No shit.”

Silence reigned as you fiddled with your fingers - specifically with the promise ring he’d bought you a year ago.

“You-you think you could ever forgive me?”

“Thats the annoying part. I want to hate you because you literally stabbed me then twisted the knife but… but all I’ve done this week is miss you. Even when I saw Haz or Harry or Tuwaine. I just fucking missed you.”

“Can you open the door please love?”

Clumsily you scrubbed the tear tracks off your face, scrabbling to your feet so you could thrust open the doors. Because you might still be bloody pissed at him, but at the same time - you needed your Tom. Thrusting the door open, the first thing you registered was being pressed into Tom’s chest. His arms slinked around your waist and held him tight, which you reciprocated, squeezing tightly round his neck. Your senses were all being assaulted by one thing and one thing only. Tom.

He smelt like usual, except maybe the slightest bit stronger than usual - you figured he hadn’t showered in a day or two or bothered with cologne. The top of your forehead was pressed up against his chin, and as he readjusted his grip on you, you felt the scratchy feeling of his unshaven stubble. He kept whispering apologies against the top of your head, almost desperate and religiously.

Arching back, you brought both hands to cup his cheeks, looking into his glassy brown. eyes, which looked so lost and confused.

“I’m still angry.”

“Of course-“

“I’m still angry but I’m going to kiss you okay?”

Safe to say Tom didn’t require a verbal response, taking it upon himself to nudge his lips against yours, yet waiting for you to initiate the kiss. And that you did, everything else about this godforsaken week and a half. His index finger traced the angle of your jaw, whilst he held your lower back tight, pressing himself as close as physically possible to you. Needing you.

Eventually arching back, your thumb ran over his deep and sunken under-eyes, which added so much age to his face.

“You look tired Tommy.”

“Can’t sleep without you telling me goodnight.” That was another tradition you had had. Even when he was away, you’d even set an alarm for whatever bedtime was for the other across the world. Just so you could send a little message or voice not saying goodnight. Was it cringey? Yes. Did either of you care? No.

But since you’d been away all the evening wishes were absent from you. Which hurt Tom more than you may ever know.

“I know you’re still angry but will you please come home to me? I need you to be the last thing I hear at night and the first thing in the morning.”

would love to hear any feedback <333 (but think this is a bit of a shitter so im sorry!!!)

tagging: @lovehollandy12 @pandaxnienke @thegirlwiththeimpala @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @hollandlover19 @hunnybunimdun @crossyourpeter @thefernandasantana@hallecarey1

#tom holland x you #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tomholland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #harry holland

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darling-i-read-it · 3 years

Text

Hug

Pelle x reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Danis grief and the things that come with that (crying, heaviness)

Author’s Note: this was not on my list of things I wanted to write and yet

I feel held by him okay

Summary: You and Pelle meet through Dani and Christian (man I suck at summaries)

Song: Run by Hozier

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

(not my gif)

Dani liked you. She liked you a lot. You made her feel sane and that helped her in more ways than one. She liked the fact that you would always listen to her and tell her that she was right, even when she was wrong. She liked that your eyes never once flitted away from her when she spoke. She liked that you understood her grief in a way that most people would never try to.

She almost had no desire to introduce you to Christian. She loved Christian, she really did, but you didn’t need to meet her boyfriend.

Dani thought, even though you did appreciate her that you would never understand the way that he loved Christian. Maybe she didn’t even understand it.

In any event, she wouldn’t be able to explain in an adequate way.

But still, you pushed.

You were hanging out with her, in her room. She was walking around the room numbly, trying to understand why her head never seemed to be wrapped around the room when people were speaking. A sorrow was still hanging over her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. You were sitting on her desk, watching her anxiously pace back and forth.

“No.” She stopped walking. “I’m sorry, that was blunt.” You shook your head.

“Don’t worry about it. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want,” you told her evenly. Dani walked up to you and sat down at the chair in front of you. She felt a little more clear headed with you. It helped to be around people sometimes. Tears started to well up in her eyes but she quickly shook them away.

“Christian has been distant lately. I don’t know how to tell him I still need him without being...needy,” she said, avoiding your eyes.

“He should understand.” You gave her a narrow look and she sighed.

“Yeah yeah. I know you wanna meet him.”

“I just wanna learn about this guy who supposedly has absolute zero ability to read his girlfriends moods.” She sighed.

“You wanna meet him? Alright. You can meet him. But his friends will probably be there and if you don’t wanna-”

“I’d love to meet his friends as well. You can tell a lot about a person based on the company that they keep.”

====

“This is Y/N. Y/N this is Christian, Mark, Josh and Pelle.” You shook their hands, a kind smile on your face. Mark eyed you for a second longer than he should have and you weren’t sure how to feel about them as a whole. A very basic group of boys that may not be all that they seemed. You were all at Christians place which was dirty. Clothes were on the floor and most of his books were strewn around. There was food on the kitchen counters.

You ignored your initial thoughts and waved slyly.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you all.” Truth be told, you didn’t know much about any of them but Christian. You barely knew their names to faces.

“You’re the only friend of Dani’s we hear about. You go to school here too right?” Josh asked. You nodded.

“Yes. It’s how Dani and I met.” Your eyes looked around the four of them and surveyed their expression. The man at the end, Pelle, had a very neutral and soft looking expression on his face. You admired him immediately.

But you ignored that so that you were able to assess Christian better.

“Now Christian, I think it’s about time I teach you how to treat your girlfriend,” you teased gently and the guys raised their eyebrows. Mark patted Christians back.

“She’s got her guns out. How are you going to respond?!” Mark asked loudly. Christian was laughing and so were you but you had been serious. He was a terrible boyfriend. If they had classes on how to be a decent boyfriend, you would force him to take them, for Dani’s sake.

“You’re Dani’s friend which means you are my friend,” he said finally. Your lips twitched and you nodded slowly. “Can I offer you anything to drink?”

“No, thank you though.” Dani sat down at the living room area and the boys quickly followed. Her and Christian were on the love seat, Mark in one of the chairs and you, Pelle and Josh on the couch. You were sitting beside Pelle on the left.

He smelled good.

“How is school treating you?” he asked. You turned to him, pleased to hear that his voice was as soothing as he looked. He had an accent you couldn’t place - you were hopeless with accents.

“Well! At this rate, I should get through finals with only a few scratches here and there,” you told him.

You could hear that Mark had asked Christian a question and they were having a conversation off to the side.

“How about you?” you asked.

“Good, just about as good as you. I wonder, maybe if we have any teachers in common,” he suggested. You nodded.

“It’s entirely possible. What are you studying?”

“I’m in the Anthropology department.”

“We may overlap. I’ll have to check your schedule.”

Dani gave you a look but your eyes were not on her. She couldn’t distinguish what you and Pelle were saying because your voices were so calm while the other boys were booming. She was only a few feet away and still...whatever you were laughing about was lost on her.

====

You didn’t stay long. Dani and you had to get back so that you were able to study for finals. And by that, it was usually you studying with her in the room so she had someone to keep her in check. You didn’t mind.

“You and Pelle seemed to get along well,” she noted.

“I was there to make sure Christian seemed like a decent human,” you told her.

“And?” You thought about it for a moment and she was right. You had talked to Pelle almost exclusively.

“Pelle was really nice,” you conceded. She laughed gently. At least you were able to be honest with her.

“I think he likes you. He’s a Swedish exchange student, if he didn’t tell you.”

“That’s where the accent is from! It was bugging me. I was about to start speaking to Google,” you said laughing. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“You could have just asked him.”

“I didn’t know if it was inappropriate!”

======

You ran your hand through your hair as you walked around your little apartment. It had about everything you could ever need and you loved it. Dani was sleeping on the couch you had managed to squeeze in.

There was a knock at your door.

You checked the clock on the wall and furrowed your brows in confusion. It was still pretty early in the day. You had to go to class soon.

You opened the door and Pelle stood in front of you, a kind smile on his face.

“Pelle! What a nice surprise,” you whispered. He looked confused as to your whisper and you opened the door enough to show Dani sound asleep. He nodded understandingly.

“I hope this isn’t inappropriate,” he said, in the same hushed tone.

“No, no. Although I do have to go to class soon. What is it?” You leaned against the doorframe.

“I thought our conversation the other day was really nice.” He paused for a minute, thinking over his words. You waited patiently. “I would like to take you out for coffee.”

You were a bit surprised that he had come all the way to your apartment to tell you that. You assumed that Christian had given him the address. He had it so he knew where Dani was, she had given it to him.

“I would like that very much. Although, you could have just called,” you said smiling.

“I prefer in person. I think it’s more personal.” You nodded but turned around, grabbing a pen off of your desk. You grabbed his hand and scribbled your number onto his palm.

“For when you want to tell me where to meet you.” He smiled and nodded once, pleasantly.

“Until then.”

====

Pelle called you that night to tell you where to meet him for coffee. You were pleased and excited. Dani woke up the next morning when you were getting ready to leave. It was Saturday so you didn’t have any classes to attend and you figured you were due a break from studying.

“Where are you going?” she asked groggily. You cleaned up your bed and turned to her on the couch.

“I have a coffee date,” you said honestly.

She raised her head up off the pillow and rubbed her eyes.

“Oh?” You nodded, fixing your hair in the mirror. You looked yourself over and nodded nervously at yourself. You looked good. You hoped it wasn’t too much for just a coffee date. “Care to share who it’s with?”

You sheepishly looked at her through the mirror.

“Pelle,” you said quietly. She laughed heartily. It was the first time you had heard her actually laugh in weeks.

“Pelle?”

“Yes. Go back to bed. I’ll probably be back before you get up.” She laid her head back down.

“Have fun at your coffee date!” she called but her voice was muffled by the pillow.

====

“Yes! I told Dani that but she doesn’t believe me. I don’t know, I think maybe we’re all a little too hard on her.”

The coffee date was going swimmingly. Pelle was funny and he was also able to give you good advice. You were amazed at his kind heart.

As for his feelings for you, he loved you. Dani had spoken about you and your kind heart before but he never thought you would be like this. He never thought he would love you this much so instantly. You were charming and honest and there was some quip left in you. He admired your qualities and was pleased to find that you liked him as well.

He could never be sure but he thought you may like it back at his home.

“You’re being a very good friend. Better than most,” he said honestly. He reached a hand forward and laid it on your hands which were sitting on the table. Both of your cups were empty. You looked down at his hand on yours and attempted to suppress your emotions.

“Thank you Pelle.”

You moved your hands apart so they were holding his hand between them. He smiled a bit, sheepishly.

“I really enjoyed this.”

“I did as well.”

You were very pleased to hear it wasn’t one sided.

You both stood up and started for the door. His hand still held yours. It was within walking distance of both of your homes but in opposite directions. Before parting he turned to face you. You smiled up at him, trying your very hardest to not let him know how much you had enjoyed the date.

That was when your phone rang. Your smile fell and you had to know who it was calling.

Dani.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t worry. I will wait.”

You picked up the phone and put it to your ear.

“Yes?”

“I-I need you.” She was crying. She didn’t like to ask for help so this must have been serious. You nodded stiffly.

“I will be there in a couple minutes. Hold on,” you said kindly. You hung up the phone and turned to him. “Dani needs me, I’m sorry.” He shook his head and before you could say another word, he was hugging you.

You had thought he might kiss you but this was almost better. It was almost for sure better than a kiss. His arms engulfed your body and held you tightly. He was wearing a soft sweater and it felt so nice against your face. He smelled like herbs and trees. You hugged him back, tightly. He had his hand on the back of your head and he gently kissed your shoulder.

He pulled away ever so slightly and kissed you softly. You had to pull away to smile.

“I’ll see you soon Pelle.” He nodded and you were about to walk away when he strengthened his hold on you.

“Mark, Josh, Christian and I are going to take a trip back to my home in Sweden for the summer. Dani will likely be invited too. Would you like to come?”

#pelle x reader #midsommar imagines #pelle imagines

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familyfriendlyweed · 3 years

Text

makeup sessions (karl jacobs x fem reader)

a/n : hi! this is my first tumblr post. i have written stuff on wattpad in the past, but it’s still quite new to me, so please be nice :]] i accept positive critism and advice, as that most definitely will help me grow as a writer!

Y/n let out something between a squeal and a scream at the same time when she saw Karl's tweet. her face was beat red and her lips couldn't help but curl into the stupidest grin ever.

the tweet read :

hey @) y/nhasursocks wanna do my makeup at my stream today :]]

it was the simplest tweet, yet it meant so much to the girl. Karl and Y/n were always really good friends, they often streamed minecraft together, but never in a million years did he yet ask her to be in his stream in real life.

Y/n picked up the phone with trembling hands, already seeing a bunch of likes, comments and retweets to Karl's tweet. before answering, she got curious to know what the people say. cautiously opening the comments section, the girl scanned it through with her eyes. a bunch of "awwwwws" and hearts could be seen, which worsened her already red cheeks.

With her heart thumping hard against her ribs, she started writing her reply :

sounds great! <3

for a moment Y/n hesitated to press the "reply" button with the "<3" emoticon in the comment, but then she figured she and Karl sent lovey dovey emojis/emoticons in the past to each other anyways, so, she pressed the "reply" button at last.

in an instant, her reply started gaining more and more likes, comments and retweets. Y/n was never really popular, having her clout was only because of Karl being her friend, so seeing this much attention was weird to her. but she didn't care about that right now. all that Y/n cared about at the moment was the fact that Karl appreciated her enough to actually invite her over.

a little bit later in the day, Y/n received a private message from Karl, which said :

hey Y/n! I'm really glad you're up to stream together <3 i planned on starting the stream at 4 pm, but you can change the time if you're busy :] here is my address (don't tell anyone! :D) - (random address lol)

Y/n answered :

thanks for inviting me bestie!! 4 pm is cool, I'll be there! <33

she set the phone down, unable to remove the blissful smile from her face. she has never felt this way before - it was really weird, but the constant butterflies in her tummy reminded her that it's a good feeling. taking a few deep breaths, Y/n reminded to herself that all she has to do is to go to Karl's house and have a good time AS FRIENDS - no romantic stuff is needed.

~~~~~time skip~~~~~

Y/n got off from the bus at 15:50, but she still had about 5 minutes to reach Karl's house. in what felt like forever, the girl felt a sting of what was unmistakably fear and guilt - what if she was late? and what if Karl would be annoyed with her for that?

slowly she broke into a panicky run. passing careless citizens, who all looked at her fear-stricken face curiously, she finally made it to the front door of Karl's home. Y/n pulled out her phone and found the code that she was supposed to enter next the main door. she quickly dialed it, a beep beep beep was heard and she entered.

finally making it to Karl's apartment, Y/n stopped to smooth her hair and straighten her clothes so she doesn't look too shabby. her body seemed to be moving on its own - her finger pressed the doorbell automatically.

Karl opened the door almost in an instant - he wore a warm smile and before Y/n could stutter a "hello", he pulled the girl into a big welcoming hug.

"hey Y/n! it's so cool you made it!" Karl exclaimed, still holding her close.

Y/n's head was spinning, she needed more time to process what was happening. but nevertheless, she finally lifted her own arms and hugged the guy. burying her face into his sweater, she inhaled Karl's scent deeply - he smelled something like honey and warm days.

"hello, Karl." she mumbled with a grin on her face.

"come on, do you want to eat something before the stream?" Karl asked, letting go of the girl and taking her hand into his instead, leading Y/n into the house.

"oh no, I'm full. let's get straight to business." she answered, the blissful smile and content blush never leaving her face.

"alrighty! you already know, but we'll have an eventful makeup session, and then I thought maybe play some minecraft so the stream isn't too short?" the guy asked, opening his bedroom door.

"sounds great!"

Karl smiled and went to his computer :

"you ready? I'll start the stream now."

the girl quickly fixed her hair again and gave him thumbs up :

"ready."

Karl started the stream with facecam on and as soon as the chat saw Y/n, it went absolutely wild.

"guys, give her a rest, poor girl just came!" he laughed, drawing her a chair. Y/n thanked quietly and sat, waving to the chat timidly. in the corner of her eye, she saw comments like "she's so adorable" and "look at Karl being a gentleman" in the chat and her cheeks grew more red, but this time from satisfaction.

"well, as you guys know, Y/n agreed to be in my stream today, and since some of you don't really know her, she's a really good friend of mine who also streams and does youtube videos - so go support her!"

from that moment Y/n relaxed more and more with each minute. it was fifteen minutes into the stream when she already felt as if at home.

"Karl, you have a hell lot of lipsticks, where did that come from?"

"uhhhh, I only bought them for the stream today!"

"oh really? why are they all used, then?" Y/n asked giggling and showing them to the stream.

"hey- don't expose me like that!"

"chat, clip it, CLIP IT!"

all was going really well, Y/n was having a really good time with Karl AS FRIENDS. it was really nice. but all hell broke loose when the time to put eyeliner came.

"alright, I have no idea why, but you have four eyeliners."

"they're my sister's."

"haha, yeah, yeah, alright. Which one do you want big man?"

"hmmm, the one in your left hand!"

Y/n set the other eyeliners on the table, quickly glancing at the chat. her cheeks grew very very red…

"Y/N DO THE MEME SIT ON HIS LAP" "SIT ON HIS LAP" "THE MEME, DO THE MEME!!!"

a/n: if anyone is confused, this is an example of the meme i’m talking about :

the girl tried to act as if she hadn't seen the comments, but Karl was already by her side, reading them with her.

"meme… what meme?" he wondered out loud. Y/n got the impression that he was genuinely confused.

'chat, shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up.' thought Y/n, but of course chat was just being chat.

"SHE SHOULD SIT ON UR LAP" "THERE'S A MEME WHERE A GIRL DOES A GUY'S EYELINER WHILE SITTING ON HIS LAP" "WE'RE NOT FORCING BUT YOU GUYS WOULD LOOK SO CUTE"

Y/n hid her face in her hands, unable to control her blushing. Karl just chuckled sweetly :

"chat, calm down, she's going to die from blushing."

he put on the "please stand by" screen and scooted over Y/n :

"hey, it's fine. we won't do it if you don't want to," Karl then leaned closer and whispered, "I'd be pretty glad if you agreed, though."

Y/n lowered her hands, showing off the big red hue on her cheeks. for a split second Karl's eyes widened - she looked really adorable.

"I'd also be glad." the girl said, almost not believing her own words.

Karl's adorable smile came back and he leaned back:

"well then, come here."

Y/n stood up shyly and straddled his legs, grabbing the eyeliner in the process.

"do you want me to turn on the facecam?" Karl asked quietly.

the girl nodded :

"I don't mind."

he turned it on and put his hands onto Y/n's hips. even without looking at it, Y/n knew the chat was blowing up at the moment.

"you guys better subscribe, because we're providing very good fanservice." said Karl jokingly and Y/n laughed. turning to him, she opened the eyeliner and put it next to his eye, only to find him staring at her in an awe. the girl blushed as a strong urge to kiss him kicked in. it looked as if Karl wanted the same thing.

at the precise same time, they both leaned in and pressed their lips together, Y/n putting her hands onto Karl's cheeks to hide the view from the chat. the kiss was very short and with no tongue included - but it was the most sweet kiss Y/n has ever shared with someone. she pulled away, an identical grin to Karl's on her face and hugged him very tight - they almost fell off the chair.

laughing, she continued to do Karl's makeup as if nothing happened and everyone watching the stream wasn't fainting and clipping the kiss. this will be talked about for a long time, but as before, Y/n didn't care about that, and nor did Karl.

a/n : anddddd cut! it’s quite wonky, but i believe it’s pretty swell for my first mcyt fanfic :]] let me know what you think of it and if you have any tips or advice on how to make my future stories more enjoyable! thanks for reading and i hope to see you around <3

#mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #karl jacobs #karl jacobs x reader #karl jacobs imagines #mcyt imagines #dream smp #dream smp imagines #dream smp x reader

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copperbadge · 3 years

Note

Hey Sam! I seem to remember you being familiar with the process of how non-profits solicit donations. Any advice on how to get off a shared mailing-list if you've been put on it without your knowledge? And/or how to donate to specific charities without unknowingly ending up on one of these shared lists? I'd hate to just stop donating, but one small donation seems to have snowballed into 8+ separate mailers full of "free gifts" I'm not interested in and it's only been a couple months.

It's tough, because oftentimes even if you get off the mailing list, your address stays in the system, so larger nonprofits sometimes ignore the "do not solicit" designation on your record. Smaller ones also have an issue -- I've been working on my office to be better about purging do-not-solicits from mailing lists, with middling success. Smaller nonprofits sometimes just don't have very good data integrity. Like, if someone registers for a fundraising event with us, sometimes they get a duplicate record in our system because our event software (all we can afford) doesn't play nice with our database (also all we can afford) and then they have one record that says "do not mail" and an identical one that doesn't have that designation. We do our best to fix that but we're a small team.

All of which is to say that there's no magic bullet, just...alternate strategies.

Probably the most thorough way to get off a list is to look on the website for a phone number attached to any kind of giving -- "Call this number to give by phone" or "Contact Development office here" and call that, then ask to speak to someone on the Data or Gift Processing team who can help you with your address in the database. You want to speak to a real live person who has access to the database (sometimes called a CRM) and can change your information in it. You can either ask them to remove your address completely, or you can ask them to put the strongest possible "do not mail" restrictions on your record. Tell them you're just trying not to get too much in the mail and that it could impact your giving decisions in the future.

You can also just circle their address, write "return to sender", and pop the solicitations in the mailbox unopened; usually they'll remove your address as a "bad address" if you do that, though that may only work until the next time they do a data refresh :D

However, the best possible way is never to give them your address in the first place. There are a couple of ways to do this; you can buy a visa giftcard and use that to give, entering either the address the card directs you to, or a made-up address (I've used Wrigley Field before). Some places allow you to direct-debit from a bank account or investment account, in which case the bank's address goes out on it. Or you can use a Donor Advised Fund to give "anonymously" -- for example my DAF of choice, Charityvest, allows you to control how much the org sees, from "Nothing at all" to "just your name" to "all your details". Charityvest has a required minimum $20 donation if you're giving, but that's sometimes the cost of anonymity I guess. Also, Facebook fundraisers only ever give the nonprofit your name and the amount you gave (nonprofits are LIVID about this) so giving through Facebook is actually kind of a good way to go, in terms of data management.

Anyhow, it sucks when a nonprofit sells your data (pretty sure UNICEF and Doctors Without Borders did a listswap and that's why DWB now sends me tchochkes sometimes) but sometimes it's just that the nonprofits aren't perfect about data integrity.

#nonprofits #charity #philanthropy

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simpz-art-stash · 3 years

Text

Late Beginnings [Ch. 2]

Summary: Macaque’s gotten over the biggest gap on his side of the burnt bridge between him and his broke af relationship with Wukong. Now he’s gotta take an even bigger leap in hopes of getting MK to give him a chance as well.

(Author’s note: DUNNO IF THERE’LL BE MORE BUT WE’LL SEE, FEEL FREE TO SUGGEST STUFF TO PUT IN HERE)

Previous | Next

---------------------------------------------------------------

It should’ve been easy, a kid like MK had a good head on his shoulders, enough to see the good in all besides himself.

It should’ve been easy.

So then why the hell was he still standing on the sidelines mulling over what to say to the kid who was just a few yards away training under the careful eye of his mentor?

What could he say? The same to Wukong? He felt that might be a bit too cliche, even if it had worked.

‘Just barely.’

Mac sighed, brushing his hair back and watching the two practice stillness together, Wukong resting on his tail in a lotus position while MK stood on one foot, straining to keep his posture in check. Even with the staff being used as a counter-balance his muscles flexed against the lack of support in his other leg.

Maybe he could offer him something? Nothing major of course, something innocent but worthwhile and thoughtful. Demon head’s wouldn’t do, the kid had no real use for those, nor would he probably appreciate a trophy that wasn’t his. What did kids even like these days anyways? He thought of toys but, MK was practically a bigger kid than most other cub’s. Most kids like him usually just kept to popular places or their phones…

Decisions decisions…

A small yelp forced him out of his thoughts, his gaze shifting back over to MK who had since fallen back on his butt. Groaning and complaining like usual before Wukong gave him the ol’ ‘keep it up!’ attitude, prompting MK to simply nod and give it another try.

‘Geeze, and I thought my training was harsh. At least I gave him actual critique on his form…’

Then an idea flashed in his mind, popping off like a rocket and he suddenly found himself with something worthwhile.

------~------

“Alright bud, I think that’s enough of that. Why don’t you hit the bench, I need to go check on the kids back inside n’ make sure they haven’t left a mess after that marathon I set up for em.” Wukong claimed, patting MK on the back before turning away. Offering a curt wave as he left, “Call me if you need me!”

“Alright, I will!” MK sighed and made his way over to a makeshift seat, which happened to be nothing more than a split log. And proceeded to take his headband off if not to just drench his hair in some of the water from one of the bottle’s he’d brought along with him. Before guzzling the rest of it down like he hadn’t drank in forever.

“I see he’s been keepin’ you on your toes. Full pun intended.” Mac commented, earning him a startled squeak from MK who had just about spat his drink out when Mac rounded him from behind to sit himself down on the opposing side of the log.

MK had heard a little snippet from MKing about Macaque trying to make amends, he didn’t get the full details but he’d heard enough to know to keep an eye out for the guy. Not that he wasn’t already always on high alert for any suspicious activity.

“Guh- yeah.” MK coughed a little, rubbing his throat a little as he cleared it. “It hasn’t been uh, easy, but I think I’m gettin’ better. Just need to try harder or whatever…”

“Mmm…” Mac let his gaze concentrate on the immortal peach tree Wukong had planted out in the front of his yard, it having long since bloomed and been picked clean.

MK shifted a little under the uncomfortable silence that spread between the two, there wasn’t tension in it per sey, but it was still a lil awkward for him to just outright be chatting it up with the same guy who had once tried to kill him at one point.

“So uh..I was hoping to..make it up to you, what with everything that happened the last time…” Mac’s face squinted a little, his tail irritably swaying behind him, it seemed this was just as awkward for him as it was MK.

“Uhm..okay?..” MK veered a little away from the guy, not too sure how to handle that. “Hey if this is about the whole ‘you trying to kill me thing’ then uh, hey man we’re cool.”

“What? I mean yeah but, it’s more than just that..” Mac fiddled idly with the hem of his cloak, the things color long since having been worn down from the elements. “A lot more…”

“Complicated?” MK quirked a brow at him.

“Yeeaaahh…”

“Heh, been there. Done that.” MK nodded, not that it was anything to be proud of.

“He didn’t tell you?” Mac looked at MK finally with a concerned expression.

“About you and him?? I mean..yeah he told me a lil..mostly just warned me to keep an eye out for you but…” MK rubbed the back of his neck out of nervous habit, shifting under the demon’s gaze.

“Of course he didn’t…” Mac sighed with a frown, “Well, maybe that’s where I can help you out. I know Wukong, he doesn’t exactly give you the full picture so easily, then again he’s never really had a student before either so.”

“So?”

‘So, he won’t just outright give you the benefit of the doubt just like that, especially if you just say you’ll give him whatever advice he wants. He’ll think you’re just trying to pull him from Wukong again or worse.’

“What I mean to say is, if you want to correct your form with that whole balancing thing, you should try putting less focus into just your foot, and put it towards your whole body.” Macaque stated plainly, his gaze shifting away back to the peach tree.

“Oh..uhm..alright?...Thanks???” MK blinked, none too sure what to make of that, but he wasn’t trying to kill him, or hurt his feelings so, maybe that was a good thing??

“Feel free to mention it to him…” Macaque claimed, his gaze softening before he got up finally and began to walk elsewhere.

“h-Wait!” MK called out, standing up right then. To which Macaque of course obliged, though he kept his back facing kid.

“..are you..like...being serious about that whole, ‘making amends’ thing?..” MK squinted at him suspiciously, even if Macaque could lie about his true intentions, MK at least thought it right to ask. Considering everything else…

“Yes.” Mac stated, his tail curling a little behind him.

“Ohkaaay... “ It was still hard to tell but, “Then why’re you trying to?-”

“Because he told me to.” Mac claimed, his head turning just enough to share a glance with the kid. “Don’t get the wrong idea..it was wrong of me, but.”

“Buuut?”

-------~-------

“But whatever you do, you gotta stop lyin’ about the real stuff.”

Mac grunted, that was probably gonna be the hardest trial of his to overcome. For him, lying was basically his day by day means of survival. “I think I’d rather cut my own tongue out at that point an be mute then cut that out.”

The chick shrugged, “Hey, I’m just sayin’. Honesty is the best policy. Even if it hurts to hear it, better said than left for dead. You want em to trust you again? You gotta earn it. A few pretty words ain’t never gonna be enough. You gotta put some effort behind em.”

“Uuuugh.” He rolled his eyes, already regretting having decided to go through with the whole thing. “Fine...but if I get my ass beat because someone couldn’t take the heat, I’ll hunt you down.”

“I’ll take that chance.” The chick smirked.

-------~-------

Macaque sighed, he could already imagine just how easy it’d be to screw up something so casually done by others. Century old lies he’d held onto for most his life being the worst one’s, with how gnarled they were from the many times they’d been knotted by his reasons to keep them from being undone by any means necessary. He’d run from them for such a long time though, enough to the point where he’d finally hit the end of his lead, and now he was forced to look back at the mess he’d caused.

It wasn’t a pretty sight at all.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t go back and try to fix some of it. Now matter how long it took, little by little. He just had to be careful in doing so or else he’d just get himself wrapped up in knots all over again.

“...I..” Just say it, even if it’s half the truth.

“I didn’t want to see you waste that potential under a guy who wouldn’t appreciate it...” Macaque claimed, his gaze shifting away.

That...was probably the first time MK had ever seen Mac show a genuine side of himself before. Even during training he’d been distant and strict, similar to Wukong but a lot less merciful in a spar. Where with Mac, bruises were lessons learned.

“...Thanks. For the uh..advice I mean.”

Macaque stiffened a little at the response, but he didn’t spoil it for fear of ruining what little ground he had on that bridge.

“Anytime.”

And then he was gone.

#shadowpeaches #LMK #lego monkie kid #Sun Wukong #Macaque #MK #my fics #ayeeeee chaptah 2 baebeeeee #just as messy as the last one #with some sloppy seconds #;'D

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midnightsconspiracy · 3 years

Text

Blame

Blame - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: Having a baby without telling their father was hard, what was harder was when that baby’s father was Hank Voight

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1900

Requested: Yes!!

‘Hank and the reader had a small fling 2 years ago Hank called it off but what happens when he finds out that the reader son isn’t just hers but his as well.’

A/N: It doesn't really follow the timeline of the requests 2 years, but it's along those lines anyway :):)

Masterlist

Yours and Hank's relationship had seemed perfect at first, well to you anyway. Nothing seemed as though it was out of the ordinary until the man had unexpectedly broken it off.

It had originally started when you had first met him on a case. Originally, you had attended a police scene after his unit had called for a paramedic crew, the sergeant in question having hit the offender a little too hard. Your partner was assigned to look at the perpetrator's wounds, him having come out of that scuffle worst for wear, you on the other hand were sent to look at Voight's beat-up hand. Admittedly, you were a little wary at first, having heard of his tough reputation through the firehouse. But he seemed to be kind to you anyways, and so you ignored those rumours, choosing to decide for yourself instead. And so your relationship grew from there, secretly spending most of your free nights at his place, learning to trust each other implicitly.

As time went on, the two of your learnt to love each other, both scarred from the outcome of previous relationships. Your days were filled with shy smiles from the texts you'd send to each other, and nights with the feeling of one another. Everything had seemed perfect at the time, blissfully unaware of what he was feeling. Yes, he did love you, but the insecurities and comments were eating away at him. Each day he would come into work or go out to his local gentlemen's club and receive judgments on your relationship, about how you were much younger or better looking than him. He took most of the comments to heart despite you telling him otherwise, but who was he going to believe, over 10 of his closest friends and colleagues or his girlfriend? Eventually, he chose his answer, breaking it off before you could object otherwise.

Distraught was the only word that you could use to describe yourself. You were absolutely heartbroken knowing someone you believed loved you threw it all away because of the opinions of others. Not only were you emotionally broken but also physically, feeling like absolute crap, constantly throwing your guts up and in an ever-changing mood. At first, you just blamed it on the stress you were facing, the breakup had been rough and you'd tried your best to change his mind. But it continued on day by day even after you'd accepted what had happened. Confiding in Sylvie about your problems, she seemed worried for you, urging you to go to the doctors for advice. Although you were apprehensive at first, you followed her instructions, seeking Natalie out to check you over.

You played with your hands nervously as you waited for her to come back with the results of the blood tests. At first, you just thought it was the flu, but after each symptom of yours she checked off her list, your mind knew where this was all going. And so as she confirmed what you were thinking, you froze, tears springing to your eyes not knowing what would happen to you or your baby.

That day you had made one of the most important decisions of your life, you would move back home to Virginia and raise the baby with only the help of your family. And so that's what you did, packing your things up into a moving van, putting your apartment for sale and driving to your new home. It was a little challenging at first to adjust to your new life, you missed your friends overwhelmingly having spent nearly every day of the last five years within the walls of that firehouse. But, you knew you had to move on though, probably never going back to Chicago to allow your child a better life. It had crossed your mind once or twice that maybe Hank would want to know about this, be a part of their life, but you just couldn't chance it. He had let you go over the opinions of others so what would stop him from doing similar with this child? You couldn't take that risk though, so as soon as any thought of him would appear, it would disappear soon after.

It was a struggle being a single parent, going through each trimester of your pregnancy alone. Sometimes you wished he would go through the milestones with you, the first sign of a baby bump, the first kick. And you had your family there with you too, but it was never the same as someone you loved. The worst was when you gave birth, all alone, with no one to hold your hand as you experienced the worst pain of your entire life. However, it had led to the best thing, your son, Jackson. Your life had changed overnight, now you not only lived for yourself but also your son.

As he grew up your happiness also increased, loving life just you and your child. Most of the time it was perfect laughing and playing but others you wanted Hank to be there, helping you out with the hard moments. Things with your family worsened as Jackson grew as well, things becoming rocky as they helped you less and less. And so just after you celebrated your sons third birthday, you decided maybe Chicago wasn't so bad. You could reunite with your friends, have some help with Jackson and potentially get your job back at the firehouse. So that's what you did, once again packing your stuff up and moving the both of you into a shared apartment with Sylvie, your rock in all of this.

Your life had suddenly gone back to normal overnight, picking up your career as a paramedic at 51 whilst you got a babysitter from Jackson. The only people that were aware of your presence were those at the firehouse, trying to keep your return in house so as not to raise any unwanted attention. But that had all changed as you and Brett were once again called to a police crime scene. And your prayers weren't answered as you rolled up to one led by intelligence.

As soon as you exited the ambulance you were faced with the entire team with two people needing assistance, the perpetrator and Hank. Sylvie gave you a knowing look as you grabbed the equipment, allowing you to take the bad guy. But as you walked towards the guy, Hank raised his voice, telling Sylvie he wouldn't be treated by her, wanting to talk to you instead. So you both complied, wandering over and grabbing Hank's head to assess his injuries, not wanting to even look him in the eye. You tried to wrap things up as quickly as you could, refusing to talk to him at all.

"You're back," he stated bluntly, needing to know your reasoning behind leaving in the first place. But you wouldn't give him the pleasure, fixing medical tape onto his wound, before packing up your stuff and hightailing it back into the ambulance. Although you were done with him, he definitely wasn't done with you, having heard some interesting rumours about your departure.

Finding out your new address, Hank made it his mission to see you, to explain what he was thinking. Knocking on the door of your apartment, he wished to see your face, having missed you the four years you had been gone. Just after you had moved your life to Virginia, Hank had a revelation, kicking himself for letting go of someone he loved so much. But instead of meeting your beautiful face, he found some random woman, being informed that you no longer lived there. He had been left distraught, leading to months of emotional instability, bottling it up, only to explode with anger and sadness after too long. But now as you opened the door, he smiled, glad that it was actually you this time.

"Why are you here?" You asked, wedging your body between the door and its frame, not wanting him to spot your child who was happily playing inside.

"I wanted to see you, I missed you," he confessed, wary at your suspicious behaviour.

"Missed me? You broke-"

"Mommy?" Being cut off from your angry rant, your eyes widened at the sound of your son, knowing you would have to reveal him to his father. Picking your toddler up, you tried to close the door, hoping to defuse the situation. Unlucky for you, Hank stopped the door from closing, pushing inside of your apartment.

"Mommy huh?" He questioned, confused at how you had a child.

"What's your name buddy?"

"Jackson," your son replied, blissfully unaware of who this man was and what havoc he was causing.

"And how old are you?" The cogs were turning in Hanks mind, could this child be his?

"I just turned three!" The exclamation from the child, confirmed it all, he was this boys father and you hadn't told him. Straightening up he looked you in the eyes, an angry look on his face.

"Hey, buddy why don't you play in your bedroom?" And with that, you brought your son back into his room, closing the door behind you.

"He's mine isn't he?" Hank questioned that eerily quiet voice piercing your ears. Yes, you hadn't told him, but it was to protect you and your son! Not trusting your voice you nodded your head, giving him the confirmation he needed.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" He roared, his anger overflowing, grabbing your arms to get you to look at him.

"It was to protect him, if you could easily get rid of me, what was stopping you from getting rid of him too?" You cried, knowing what you did was wrong.

"And you didn't think I could make that chose myself?" You could see the tears in the man's eyes, his voice crackling as he realised this was as much his fault as it was yours. You had made the choice but he was ultimately to blame. Bringing you into his arms, you both cried, equally regretting your decisions. Looking back up at him, your feeling flooded back, remembering how much you really loved this man. And so at that moment, you decided that Hank should be part of your boy's life, Jackson was as much his as he was yours.

So that evening was spent introducing the pair, watching as they got along like a house on fire. Hank's experience raising a child previously meant he knew how to please a child, allowing them to bond as father and son. Every time he looked at you, your original feelings intensified, understanding why you had originally thought that he would make a great father. In Hanks mind he was feeling overwhelming joy, the last few years had been so tough for him and this, this was all he could ever want. He had loved Justin with all his heart, but since he had died a black void had overtaken his heart. His grandson had briefly filled it, but that had been taken away again as they left as well. Finally, he had something that could fill this hole, a woman he loved infinitely and had made the biggest mistake of his life by letting her go. And a son, that he would hopefully watch grew up day by day, as a nice, happy family.

----------

Taglist: @mileika @redpoodlern @yosoynicolexo @chazubagi@scarletsoldierrr @cindydoll2 @anotherfan07 @one-sweet-gubler

Want to join my taglist? Click Here

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagines #chicago pd x reader #one chicago #hank voight x reader #hank voight #hank voight imagines

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simplyotometrash · 3 years

Text

Some Obey Me Headcanons!

Part One!!

Lucifer

Lucifer has always been the dad sibling. After each of his brothers were “born” while they were angels, he was the one to raise and teach them everything.

It’s common knowledge that Mammon is his favorite. Even if he hates to admit it. He’s hardest on Mammon because it’s the only thing he knows how to do anymore.

Despite the fact that they don’t seem to get along because of Mammon’s antics, Lucifer only ever confides some of his most pent up feelings to the second born.

The only other person he confides in this deeply is MC.

Before the fall, Belphie was his second favorite brother. Even after things have settled after Belphie was free again, he can never look at the youngest the same.

All he wants is for his brothers to be happy and live on. Even if it means working himself into the ground for their sakes.

He doesn’t ask for help. Help has to be forced upon him.

With how much he works, even at home, it’s not uncommon to find him napping with a pen in hand at his desk and his head on his paperwork.

He wishes he had done better raising Satan. He blames himself for their strained relationship, but he feels as if it is too late to truly fix it.

Sometimes he also wishes he had raised Satan as his son and not his brother, considering Satan was born from his wrath.

Children, for some reason or another, flock to him.

His control issues and needing to know everything that happens under his roof stems from the trauma of the war, the fall, and what happened with Lilith.

It’s his deepest fear that he will lose his brothers and be completely and utterly alone.

A bisexual mess of a demon. No one can convince me he doesn’t have at least a small crush on Diavolo.

Mammon

Oh the second born brother. He just wants to see everybody happy. But he always messes up and ends up making people angry instead.

He has severe impulse control issues, hence why he’s broke all the time. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to save his Grimm, I headcanon that his sin of Greed compels him to spend. It controls him and so he struggles to keep money.

But by gods does he have great luck with gambling. Get him going and he will win big every single time.

But keep that money where he can’t just grab it or else he will be compelled by his sin to buy things.

He doesn’t even want most of the things he buys. His sin took root in that empty space left from the fall and being cast out by the one he called his father.

His sin pushes him to try and fill that void with objects and money when really he just wants someone’s love.

After centuries of being called scum and a degenerate because of something he has little control over, he gave up trying and gave into just being his sin.

He cries easy but only to MC or Lucifer. He won’t show his tears to any of his other brothers. Maybe Beel sometimes. But only sometimes.

He knows Lucifer’s most precious and deepest secrets. He’s his brother’s confidant. But he doesn’t even breathe a word of these secrets to anyone else.

He tries so hard to get attention, so he does stupid shit. After falling to Devildom, his family was changed forever. So any attention is good attention even when it’s him being punished.

MC is the one who showed him positive love and attention again. It is one of many reasons he sticks to their side like fucking super glue to skin.

He’s actually a total mom-friend, though you wouldn’t guess it. You’d think he is the type to get drunk and pass out at a party? His alcohol tolerance is actually much higher than he lets on. He cleans up and takes care of people after they’ve all passed out.

Leviathan

He wasn’t nearly as anxious and against socializing before falling to Devildom. He retreated into himself out of fear of the unknown world they had all fallen into after the war.

He has an anxious attachment style. He knows it isn’t healthy. It’s rooted in the trauma that losing Lilith created.

The longer he stayed closed in on himself, the worse his anxiety got. To the point he became a recluse.

He fears getting close to someone. He feels insecure in relationships, not just in himself. He doesn’t feel like he’s good enough.

He’s had relationships in Devildom before, but the first one ended poorly and it only made things worse for how he saw himself. The demon only dated him because of who he was, and preferred his status as the Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy. Not as who he really is.

The few relationships that came after all ended before they really could begin because his anxiety monster was screaming that he wasn’t really good enough. That they only ever pursued him for who he was in status and power.

MC’s persistence to become his friend is what made him begin to do some self-reflection.

They tried so hard to become friends with him, they put so much effort into him, and they encourage him to just be himself. If they do all of that, maybe he really is enough as he is.

He does try to step outside of his comfort zone more because MC opened his eyes to the truth of himself.

But baby steps are needed.

He taught himself how to code just so he could make games. He got bored after making one and preferred playing to creating.

He doesn’t actually hate Mammon. Their little rivalry traces back to when they were angels and still growing up, competing for Lucifer’s attention. He actually loves his brother very much, despite how irritate he gets.

His envy is its own thing. It took root within his insecurities and has a voice all its own. It used to be so loud that he couldn’t think. But the growth he’s had since MC came into his life helped quiet that voice down a lot.

He’s closest with Satan and Asmo, feeling like he doesn’t fit with his older two or youngest two brothers anymore.

Satan

He knew from day one that he wasn’t like the rest of his brothers. He was always different. Born a demon, never once an angel. He knew that they weren’t truly his brothers.

All he ever wanted was for Lucifer to be his father. Not his brother.

Lucifer once was his hero, the person he admired and respected with all his might.

As he got older, his wrath only grew with him. And his anger at Lucifer grew as well.

He wanted to find himself as separate from Lucifer. He knew where he’d come from. But everyone treated him as if he were just some offshoot of Lucifer. He wanted to be his own person. For everyone to see that. It fueled his anger and built the wall that came between them.

He’s an excellent shoulder for comfort. He often comforts Levi when he breaks down or provides reassurance to Asmo.

These three are the middle children, they stick together.

He was alive when the Library of Alexandria was burned. Even though he wasn’t supposed to go to the human realm, he saved some texts from the library and keeps them safe.

The real reason he wears his jackets the way he does is just like when you’re in bed. If it’s full on with both sleeves, he’s too hot. If he doesn’t have it on at all he’s too cold. So one arm in a sleeve and one arm not in a sleeve.

Asmo has tried and failed to give this boy fashion help. He refuses to take it. He thinks he looked like an intellectual (for the love of god please lose the black undershirt at least, Satan).

He carries cat treats and cat food in his bag at all times in case he comes across a kitty in need.

He has sneaked many cats into the House of Lamentation. Lucifer knew the entire time but let Satan have a few days before he “found out” about the cats.

His wrath has burned strong for so long, even when he was passive, that he didn’t know what it was like to feel calm. But MC’s very presence sends a wave of peace right to his very core.

Asmo

If you’re insecure and you know it clap your hands.

Levi might seem like the king of insecurity, but Asmo takes the cake.

He masks his insecurities with what people think is narcissism and over confidence. He puts on a show so nobody knows how he really sees himself.

Lust was always shoved down his throat as sexual only. So he went with it. He was supposed to be the Avatar of Lust. To be what was expected of him and to make sure he was liked, he did what he thought everyone wanted.

And it turned him into someone he never wanted to be. He didn’t know how to find himself again.

He isn’t nearly as sexual and lewd as everyone thinks. He’s touchy and clingy, yes, but touch is his love language.

When he’s hurt or doesn’t feel well, if he’s had a bad day, if he’s sad- all he wants is to be held by the person he loves and who loves him. He wants to hold hands or link arms. He wants to wrap his arms around them all the time.

But because everyone in Devildom only saw him as a sex symbol, he had to bury his truest desires. He had a persona to keep up.

While he does love to take care of himself, he used to break mirrors because he was so sick of who he had become. It took a lot of time for him to get through it.

His MC is the only one who wasn’t tainted by his power. A power that seemed to just be active all the time whether he wanted it or not.

Everyone was all over him but it wasn’t as if he could control it. His sin was always active, it attracted people.

But MC wasn’t interested or affected.

And that was what was most attractive to him.

They saw him for who he was and encouraged him to just be the true Asmo. Not the Asmo everyone wanted to see.

He is excellent at sewing. He loves making his own accessories and clothing from his own designs.

He’s ambidextrous. You think that the king of fashion only uses one hand? Darling, if he only used one hand then his homework would never get done. He write with one hands and be painting his toes with the other.

One of the few people that can get Levi out of his room to hang out. They’ve always been close. Sometimes he does that just so the others can get Levi’s laundry and dirty dishes.

He’s the most emotionally open and stable of the brothers. He’s made peace with his inner monsters and can coexist with them. He’s also surprisingly good at advice.

Can and will break into Lucifer’s study to make the eldest relax because he’s working too har.

He has bobby pins on him at all times. Not just for fashion but for lockpicking! He can be clever and beautiful!

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo

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maybedefinitely404 · 3 years

Text

Day 30: Dukexiety

Day 30 - When you look in the mirror, you can’t see your own reflection, just your soulmate. (Never heard of this prompt before, so I guessed)

Content warnings: maybe some anxiety? Just some wholesome for ya.

Word count: 1.5k

This ficlet is dedicated to @marshymoop.

Virgil was told he had brown hair; the color of a walnut. Sometimes if he grew it out long enough, he could just catch a glimpse of the color when it fell into his eyes. Apparently those were brown too.

A friend of his mom’s was an artist and had drawn him when he’d turned thirteen, but it hadn’t looked right. The face staring back at him from the canvas didn’t feel like his at all. He didn’t recognize the curve to the nose or the bags under the eyes; it just looked like a stranger. The more he looked, the more uneasy he felt, and he’d tucked it into the back corner of his closet, never to look at it again.

His reflection, where he’d seen the face of his soulmate since he was a baby, was far more familiar to him.

Black hair streaked with white.

Sharp green eyes.

A smattering of freckles over olive skin.

Sometimes it was odd, smearing makeup under eyes that weren’t technically his, and trying to fix hair that was shorter than what showed in the reflection, but it was a problem everyone had until they met their soulmate. He just hoped that the dark clothes looked as good on the real him as it did on his reflection.

---

Virgil was struggling to focus on the textbook paragraph in front of him when his phone chimed. It was a welcome distraction from the existential quandaries that came with Philosophy 103. Just a quick break, he promised.

Remus: heyyyyyyy

Aaaand there was that plan out the window. He couldn’t care less though, studying be damned, because now his heart was pounding and a nearly painful smile was stretching his cheeks. It had been a week since Remus had messaged him, and the pent up joy was all coming out at once.

You’re back! He replied amidst flapping hands. How was camping? His fingers hesitated over the keyboard.

I missed your messages. I missed you. I was lonely.

He said nothing.

Remus: i caught a squirrel. i couldn’t keep it though

Virgil: Did you name it at least?

That’s adorable. You’re adorable and a goof and amazing.

Remus: Yep. Squirrely Temple

A picture message showed up moments later, showing a surprisingly relaxed squirrel sitting in a styrofoam cup, a single peanut clasped in it’s little hands. The taker of the photo wasn’t visible, though that was to be expected.

The next one featured what Virgil assumed was the same squirrel, this time wearing a crudely constructed paper top hat. It held another peanut, and once again seemed shockingly unconcerned.

The photo was quickly replaced with a call screen and Virgil accepted it eagerly, still laughing.

“Did you see the squirrel?” Remus asked excitedly, to which Virgil could only laugh harder.

“Why is it in a hat?” He wheezed.

“I made it out of sap and a brochure I found. I think Squirrely Temple looked rather dapper.” The grin was evident in Remus’ voice.

“And you didn’t keep it?” Virgil inelegantly kicked his schoolwork off the bed to lay across it, grabbing his fidget cube from the side table.

“Nah, something about preserving wildlife and not having enough room at home,” he yawned, “Me an’ Roman gave him plenty of peanuts before we left though. A whole pile on a wood stump.”

“You sound tired,” Virgil teased. There was a small twinge in his chest at the idea of Remus going to bed already. He’d been off the grid for a week. Virgil was loath to admit, but he’d missed his friend more than expected.

“I think my body just sees an actual bed and the ‘tired’ protocol is,” Another yawn, “activated.”

Virgil yawned in tandem. “You should probably sleep, then.” He tried to keep the disappointment from his voice.

“Take your own advice, and I’ll consider. When’s the last time you got six hours of sleep?”

“Consecutively?”

Remus snorted. There was a whoosh of air as he dropped onto his bed, and a brief lull in the conversation before he spoke up. “I think I’d rather talk to you than sleep, actually.”

Damn, how was he supposed to respond to that? He pressed a cool hand to his reddening cheeks, glad the other couldn’t see him. “Wow, is that genuine emotion coming from Remus?” Virgil retorted instead. We can talk for hours if you want. I missed talking to you.

“My bad, I think I still have some fresh air in my system.”

God, he’d missed him. A single week had felt like a whole year without their constant interaction and updates throughout their days. They’d only known each other for months (had it only been months?) but in that time, talking to each other had become so ingrained in their lives, it seemed wrong to not wake up with his phone blown up from messages. It was so effortless, wasting hours away but feeling like no time had passed at all. It meant the world to Virgil.

And despite their jokes and snarky conversations, he had a feeling it meant a lot to Remus too.

It was as if he blinked, and the sun had set in the sky. The room had gradually turned dark as ink but Virgil couldn’t be bothered to flip on the lights, not when he was so captivated by Remus’ voice as he recounted his family camping trip. He didn’t notice nor care; this was more important.

Only when Remus’ yawns grew closer and closer together did it occur to him that the other was several hours ahead, blasted timezones. It would be early morning there.

“I think you should try to sleep,” Virgil grinned as Remus tried and failed to keep talking through another yawn.

“Maybe,” He sighed.

“Talk tomorrow?” For the first night in a bit, Virgil felt that same, familiar warm bubble in his chest.

“I actually had a question for you, first.”

Pop.

Remus sounded uncharacteristically nervous, putting Virgil on edge instantly. Everything he’d ever done wrong flooded through his mind. Oh god, how did he find out about the third grade Christmas concert?

“Do you want to vid chat?” He blurted.

Virgil’s breath caught in his throat.

“Like, tomorrow. Or not. It’s okay if not.”

Remus never stuttered. Something about it was unbelievably adorable.

“Just for fun, because we haven’t before, but if you don’t want to there’s no pressure-”

“Yes.”

All blubbering screeched to a halt on the other end, and Virgil couldn’t decide if his predominant emotion was anxiety or excitement. Besottedness, maybe? Either way, it made his face heat up to the tips of his ears and his feet wiggle.

“Yes?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

“Okay!” Remus let out a relieved laugh that bordered on a giggle, “When?”

“I end classes at one tomorrow.”

The man murmured his way through timezone math for a moment. “Yeah! Yeah, okay! I can do that! Yes!”

Virgil bit his lip, but a laugh made its way through anyways. “I can’t wait.”

-----------

Whatever confidence Virgil had developed the day before, it had completely evaporated by the next morning. His mind wandered during classes, too busy coming up with worst case scenarios. What if the connection sucked? What if they spoke over each other and it was awkward? What if they had nothing to talk about and it got awkward? What if they weren’t compatible face to face? It added a whole new layer to their relationship they hadn’t explored before.

What if they weren’t friends by the end of it?

He was equal parts relieved and petrified when his final class ended and there was nothing between him and the call. The whole walk back to his dorm was spent watching the numbers on the clock tick by, each minute sending a rush of adrenaline through him until he was sure he’d collapse from nerves right there on the path way.

A text from Remus came through three minutes before their agreed time.

Remus: Ready?

NO, he wanted to scream. There were too many variables, they were leaving the comfort zone and that’s where Virgil thrived!

Virgil: 5 mins

He set up his computer and paced around his room for the remainder of his time. His eyes caught a blur of motion in the mirror and he turned to his reflection, his flapping hands slowing as he studied the face before him as he’d done hundreds of times before. Not his face, but the only one he knew as his.

A part of him was suddenly weighed by guilt as he looked into those bright eyes, because the guiltier part of him knew what he had was a crush. A helpless one, at that. And a hopeless one. What was the point pining after someone when the universe had already handpicked someone else for him?

Stupid universe and it’s stupid soulmates.

The chime of an incoming call startled him out of his reverie and he swore under his breath. He tried to soothe down his hair, rub the stress from his eyes, but it was hopeless when he couldn’t see if it actually looked okay.

He sat in his desk chair and took a few measured breaths before clicking accept. The video stuttered and glitched before it finally settled, and Virgil’s breath caught in his throat.

Black hair streaked with white.

Sharp green eyes.

A smattering of freckles over olive skin.

The silence stretched between them for achingly long before Remus beamed into the camera, and it was the most beautiful thing Virgil had ever seen.

“Well, hello there, soulmate.”

Taglist:

@max-is-tired

@joylessnightsky

@marshymoop

#lywrites #tsshipmonth2020 #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #sanders sides soulmate au #soulmate september #ts soulmate au #sanderssides #sanderssidesfanfiction

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oneirataxiahiraeth · 3 years

Note

Can I request a Kai Parker smut when the reader is Bonnie's cousin and the reader sees through the things that Kai has done.

Dudeeee I actually had a this whole concept already in my drafts!!! Sorry it’s taken me a while, I’m a very indecisive person so this was written over and over again LMFAO

Pairings : Bennett!Reader X KaiParker

Warnings : angst., some more angst, angry Bonnie, Kai Slander, mentions of blood/violence/gore, mentions of murder, language, smut, not proof read

Requested : ;) I originally based this off of POV by Ariana Grande but I made some tweaks to it so yeah

Word Count : 7k

Your head was light and brain struggling to make any connections to the rest of your body. Your back rested against the dining room chair as you let whatever Jo fed to you get mushy in your mouth. Caroline had fed you some of her blood but your headache remained. Everything about today had went south and now everyone was just waiting on the edges of their chairs for something to happen and just wrap up the gift of shittiness to this very bad day. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to be the fucking bow.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her!" Bonnie snapped in the living room at the brown haired siphon. You couldn't hear the arguments happening in the other room solely because you were too busy being coddled by Jo and Caroline to make sure you wouldn't be able to hear the scolding Kai was receiving in the other room.

Bonnie never saw what you did whenever she looked at him. In her mind, you were just another one of his victims. He couldn't have had any good intentions with you. Kai Parker never had good intentions of any kind. He's selfish, and evil, and cruel, and there's no way in hell she was going to let him keep ruining your life after what happened today. Everyone knew who he was and what he did, everyone saw how dangerous he could be... except you just refused to acknowledge it. Truthfully, she didn't know whether to direct all her anger at him for hurting you or put all her disappointment on you for letting it get this far.

"Bonnie I swear, it's not like that! I never meant to hurt her, it just happened and I couldn't control it-"

"I swear to god I will kill you right now, and I wouldn't even need magic to do it." She growled.

He couldn't understand what made her so angry. Obviously he never meant to siphon so much out of you, really he didn't mean to siphon you at all. He was just planning on telling from Bonnie and the bracelet you gave him with a bit of your magic in it for emergencies and hoped the whole spell would work out fine.

"It was an accident!"

"Like hell it was!" Everyone stood around... watching... waiting... hoping. Hoping he would step out of line just once so they could rip his head off. "Nothing with you is an accident, Kai!"

"I would never intentionally hurt her, Bonnie! Believe or not I'm still capable of human emotions!" He scoffed, nothing the vampires surrounding him ready to pounce at any given moment, and with his anger levels rising they were about to have a field day.

"Of course you would, Kai! You hurt everyone who's close with you! Whether it's literally or metaphorically you always find a reason that benefits you, that justifies you hurting someone else! That's just who you are! You want nothing good with her, Kai! She's a good person, just leave her alone!" Bonnie growled, but Kai wasn't going to give in so easily.

"I've changed, Bonnie!"

"Changed into what? An even better liar? Because for an actual second there, Kai, I really believe you stayed in mystic falls just to live the life you never got to!" She fired.

"That's-"

"You know, if you wanted to make us even considering liking you, you should've moved. Far, far away from here, somewhere where you can't fucked up our lives enough for us to continue to have another fucking reason to hate you!" His shoulders dropped, hurting filling him to the brim. Usually he wouldn't let things like words get to him. She was upset with him, people say things they don't mean when they're upset... only she would've said this even in her happiest moments of life. She did hate him, and she had every reason to.

"She makes me a better person- When I'm I'm with her I want to be a better Person, Bon!" He defended himself. He knew the real reason he was with her, to him it was quite obvious. She made him feel as though the world wasn't out to get him. She could stop a nightmare before it even began with just a breathing the way she does. She made the best cupcakes, even though her cooking skills were mediocre, magic could fix everything. She made him smile without even doing anything just from the warm giddy feeling in his body when he's around her. Y/N Bennett... she was the only person to exist to make Malachi Parker feel like he deserved to live.

"Bullshit! You're just using her-"

"It isn't like that!" He snapped, causing the argument to halt for a few seconds.

"Really? Then tell me, Kai. What is it? Is it because she's my cousin? Is that why you're interested in her? To get back at me in your own disgusting twisted way? Or is it because of the blood? I bet her Bennett blood would come in real handy just in case-"

"No! I wouldn't do that to her-"

"Or is it because you're just so desperate for someone who actually feels like a friend that you decided to keep her around? Hmm? Maybe it's because after 18 years holed up in that prison word, you finally came to the realization that there is no possible way you could ever be loved. That you deserve to be alone for the rest of eternity. But all of a sudden, here she is, Precious y/n Bennet, the only person who is willingly to search for even a shred of good in you!" She spat. Everyone around watching guards fell as the watched Kai slowly become less tense. His shoulders falling slowly, the will the defend himself leaving his body along with his will to live, embarrassment and anger rushing through his veins, but a small part of him kept him in the room and not on his way back to his apartment. "Let me tell you something, Kai. Maybe this you can finally get it through your head." Bonnie feeling confident enough to take a step towards the stunned looking Siphon. "Not even a Bennett witch is strong enough to fix the broken, unlovable, vile person you really are. And if you truly, by some fucking miracle have a beating heart in your chest, if you've actually let her change you for the better, then you know she's better off without you. We both know that you don't deserve her in any way, shape, or form... so just let her go. Find someone else to ruin and leave her alone."

It felt as if all the oxygen in his body had left. His heart stopped pumping blood through his veins, and slowly and painfully he felt as if he was desiccating on the insides. He hadn't even noticed the tear that had escaped while he was being scolded.

Both you and Jos head turn as you hear a muffled scream that sounded like it came from Bonnie. You tried to stand by Jo eased you back down, shaking her head as if everything was all right. You couldn't hear much of the conversation going on in the other room, but you knew if it was enough to make Bonnie angry then it was never good. And Bonnie in their with Kai... was enough to make her wanna take out the entire town of Mystic Falls.

"I feel fine Jo, I'm good." You reassure her, standing on your own again against her advice.

She knew what was going on in there... they've been going at it since before you even regained consciousness. She wasn't worried about you not being able to stand on your own, she was worried about you overbearing the heavy conversation happening in the other room.

"Maybe we should head to a clinic or something, you did hit your head pretty hard!" She tries quickly but you shaking your head.

"Caroline gave me her blood, I'll be fine." You responded, looking to the blood who seemed to be in total shock and not at all paying attention to either of you. "I think I'm just going go home and sleep, promise I won't do anything to crazy." You sent Jo a soft smile, tilting your head at Caroline in confusion but ultimately ignored it. Maybe it was some weird vampire sensory thing.

"You should take the back door!" Jo tried again, just to keep you from walking back into the living room.

"I would..." you narrowed your eyes at the dark haired doctor. "But my keys are by the front door." You spoke, walking towards the living room before Jo could make any more excuses. You caught on fast, but really you did just want to go home.

"Wait No-" Jo stood quickly, Caroline finally snapping back into consciousness. By the time she could truly think, you were already walking through the doors leading into the living room. There was still a bit of your blood on the carpet, you knew Damon was going to bitch about that later so you figured you get out why you still could.

Well... that's what you were planning to do before you stopped just to notice all of the eyes planted on you. You first assumed that it was just them just surprised at your speedy recovery... but the tear running down your boyfriends cheek made you rethink a bit. Kai never cried. No matter what or ho he was feeling, there was not a thing in this world that he would ever let get to him. Maybe he was just so worn out from the spell too that he didn't even feel himself tearing up. The whole room felt tense, and even Jo and Caroline looked like this in the Kitchen.

"What's going on?" You felt your own body tense a bit as Kai's eyes fell down to the floor.

"nothin'" Kai mumbled, voice shaky. Your eyes narrowed with obvious disbelief. His voice was kind of small, and he couldn't even look at you. He had so many thoughts racing through his head he had no idea what to do.

"Why don't i believe that..." you spoke, mostly to yourself. "I was just about to head home." You mentioned wearily. "Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there awkwardly?" You asked, half joking and half wanting to know what had him so actually upset.

"Uhm," he spoke looking back up, eyes immediately attracted to Bonnie before looking back to you. He felt her glare burning into the side of his head, her whole rant repeating itself in his mind over and over again. "Yeah, yeah, I'll drive." He nodded, turning around just so he wouldn't have to look at you again. Before he could walk, Bonnie had grabbed his arm. Rather tightly, and oddly to be honest. She usually avoided any sort of interaction with him, so even an arm touch was a weird sight to you.

All she sent was a simple look that seem to have him shaken down to his boots before she let him go. Her eyes falling back to you. She sent a smile, before just walking away. Not a word. Just silence. It was weird, no one else had much to say either, just weird looks on their faces and more silence to give. You ignored them though, just wanting to get home.

"Uhm, okay." You responded to the silence, shaking out the bad feeling from your mind before walking through the living room. You grabbed you jacket off the couch before walking over to Kai. You reached your hand up to touch his arm but he shrugged you off, walking towards the front door without even look at you. Was he mad? What could he possibly have been mad at you for?

You pretended to not noticed the coldness and just follow after him out the door. He got into the car, barely even waiting until your door was fully closed before taking off out of the driveway. He needed to get you home. To stop himself from doing the right thing and letting you go because he didn't want that. He wanted you, for as long as he could manage to keep you in his grasp. It was selfish of him, but everyone already knew what he was like so he didn't really care. He's happy with you. Happy with his life with you. Happy with his life around you. Happy with himself with you.... why in hell would he ever give you up?

Bonnie was right though, letting you go wasn't about his happiness. It was about yours. And as selfish as he was, your happiness would always come above his own. He made sure of that everyday. He didn't eat until you did, he took shorter showers so you could have more hot water, or he'd just wait until you were done and take whatever was left. You wanted- deserved a life without him and all the despair and pain that follows him around. You didn't deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night because he was restless. You didn't deserve to be distanced from all your friends just because you liked him. If living the best life you could meant leaving him behind, he was fine with that. He was fine with that for you. He was fine with you being happy even if it meant he would've been miserable for the remainder of his life.

"Kai, you need to slow down!" You spoke up, hand moving to his thigh as you noticed his hand clutching the wheel so tightly. "Your going 70 in a 35" it was late and no one was out on the streets, he didn't care how fast he was going.

"It's fine, y/n." He muttered, eyes not leaving the road. There were no deer out in this time of the year, there was no danger of hitting much of anything.

"No, Kai, it's dangerous." You responded, "slow down, please."

"No." He needed to get you home. If he slowed down, that gave you more time to talk. More time for him to think, more reasons to flood his brain on why you were better off without him.

"No? Kai, come on, seriously you need to slow down." You scoffed, not amused by his resistance. "I'd rather not die in a car crash before I'm old enough to run for president."

"Could you stop talking? Like just for a moment!" He huffed.

"Wha- I- no! What the hell is wrong with you? Slow the car down, Kai!" His eyes rolled, momentarily forgetting just how persistent you could be. "Kai!" Your hand moving from his thigh as you contemplated jumping out of the car just to see what he would do. Maybe after you break probably every bone in your body he'll slow the fucking car down. "Stop the damn car." You spoke but he ignored you, hoping you would just stop talking to him.

Instead of you stopping with the chat, he felt himself stomping on the break as your seatbelt came undone. Your body moving forward fast, colliding with the dashboard, and knocking the absolute wind out of you. He unbuckles his seat belt quickly, looking over to you. You were fine, your boobs not so much, but it wasn't unbearable. You let out a deep throaty couch, opening your car door. You only unbuckled your seat belt to get him to slow down, put the fear in him that you were going to jump out.

Well... it sort of worked.

"Y/N, what the hell?!" He growled, following you out the car. You were leaned onto the car trying to get some air into your king as the adrenaline started releasing through your body. "What the hell were you going to do? Jump out of the fucking car because I was got a few miles over? You could've gotten hurt! Hurt worse the just hitting the dashboard! What if another car was coming? You could've gotten ran over, and killed! Then you'd wake up with a craving for an AB positive juice box!" He scolded you as if you were a child.

"I wasn't actually going to jump out, asshole! I just wanted you to slow the damn car down! And if you would've done it, instead of being a dick then we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't quite make out and you finally managed to stand straight again. "Are you okay?" He sighed.

"Are you?" You shrugged. "You haven't looked at me since we left the house, you won't talk to me, practically told me to shut the fuck up, and then you yell at me like I'm kid."

"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just didn't want you to get hurt." He frowned a bit.

"I'm fine. But I'm not getting back in that car." You spoke.

"What? Why?"

"Tell me what Bonnie said to you that has you so upset." You demanded, his heart pausing for only a moment as you stated into his soul.

"What?"

"I might be a little be slower at picking up on the clues but I'm not stupid. What did she say that has you so deathly terrified to even look at me?" You asked. "Did she put a spell on you or something-"

"No, it's nothing, y/n, just drop it and let's get back." He shook his head.

"If it was nothing then you wouldn't mind telling me."

"It's none of your business."

"Seeing as your my boyfriend and she's my family, in some weird way, whatever beef you two have is my business."

"Leave it alone."

"No" You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest even though it hurt a bit.

He wanted to yell, but he knees you still wouldn't give up. He didn't understand how you could be so annoyingly persistent still after he's shot you down so many times. It was like you knew you were getting under his skin yet you kept digging. Purposely trying to draw out some reaction just for your own amusement.

"Why don't you give up?" He groaned. "Why do you even care? Why can you stand there and look at me like that with no guilt at all?!" His foot colliding with the car tire. He hated how much every fiber of his being was pushing him to do the right thing for once. "How can you stand there knowing everything I've done and still sleep in a bed with me? Do you not care?" He wanted to stop but nothing was letting him.

"What're talking about?"

"I killed people! My own family, y/n! I hurt Bonnie! I hurt Damon! I hurt Elena, and then just because I thought you were pretty I hurt you too! And still, you refuse to see any of my faults in actions that I take pride in!" He yelled finally. It didn't phase you. You encourage him to let any emotions he was feeling out all the time. He was angry right now, and you were fine just seeing how angry he really was.

"You're not that person anymore, that's why. I trust you."

"Well you shouldn't." He shook his head. "I will always be that person!"

"You may feel like that person but your not!" You defend him against himself. "You've made a lot of progress, you know that. And I could sit here and dwell on the shit you've done in the past but if I did that to everyone, I'd have no one." You sighed, not understanding why he was bringing any of this up. What did Bonnie say to him?

"I left Bonnie in a prison world to die!"

"And you helped me get her back!"

"I tortured your best friend!"

"You wouldn't be the first-"

"Stop doing that!"

"What?"

"Making excuses for me! There are none! I'm a bad person, y/n! You aren't, this whole 'fix me' doll relationship isn't going to last because of that! Because you deserve better than me! And if I let this go any further, then that means I haven't changed. I'm not better than I was, I've just had you to keep me from making any stupid decisions-"

"Kai stop-"

"-and one day you're going to realize that this was all a mistake. That maybe there isn't something that can be redeemed in my cold unloveable heart. And when that day comes, I'd rather not wake up and see the pure and utter hatred you've developed for me just like the rest of the people in my life."

You felt your lungs stop filling with air. It was hard to get any in, you were just breathless. How were you suppose to breathe after that? Now you had a decent idea of what that conversation he had with Bonnie was.

"No. You don't get to do that, you can't push me away. I'm not here because your a chore Kai, I care about you, and I want to be with you-"

"Do you seriously have no respect for yourself?!"

"Do you?!"

"No! Because all my respect goes to you! Everything I have goes to you! And because I respect you, and because you are literally the only thing on earth that I actually truly care about I have to do this-"

"No you don't-"

"I'm br-"

"No your not!" You groaned, covering you ears as if that would effect the outcome of this situation.

"Stop being so stubborn."

"Kiss me."

"No,"

"Just do it, Kai! Kiss me, and we can make up and forget this whole conversation!"

"How can you seriously fucking stand there and act like I'm not going to ruin your life. I murdered my own siblings in cold blood. And I'd do it again, y/n. I don't feel bad, I never felt bad. I've done so many bad things and your standing here looking at me like I'm a fucking Saint who deserves the happiness you give!"

You remained silent.

"Is that what you want? To see how bad I can be? To wait for the day where you can see Malachi Parker in action? Be there when he finally breaks?! Again!" He scoffed and you shook your head, but no word escaped. "You know what" his eyes set on you, desperate to make you see what everyone else sees when they look at him. "Maybe i can get to your head, if I let you in mine." He spoke walking to you, hands on your temples before you could even move.

You tried to break from him hold be you weren't nearly as strong as he was. He was mumbling something under his breath and soon your whole body became numb. Your mouth feel open as you let out groans of pain as bloody images fill your head, and guilt and remorse and hurt filled your heart. Screams and cries ringing in your mind, but none you've ever heard before. People you've never seen crying, and struggling to run from you. Only it wasn't you they were running from. It was Kai.

His memories flooded your brain all at the same time. You had no idea had to process everything you were seeing. All the pain in your chest amplifying somehow with a deeper emotional pain. But most of that wasn't yours either. It was his too. Loneliness and Exhaustion. Hate and Longing. It was overwhelming along with the pictures and sounds running amok in your head. Soon pictures of Bonnie had flashed through your mind, and Jo, and Damon. Blood, and more blood, nothing wasn't covered in blood, and with every passing second the pain in your chest worsened. Cries of his name, and blood curdling screams filling your head, some of which belonged to you. That was when you felt the worse pain. Hearing your own screams caused a panic, and seeing your own body covered in blood, watching your body fall just earlier as your head collided with the end table. Sheer panic and anguish for some reason. But the last image to intrude your thoughts seemed like a not so distant memory of his. One of you. Even if your head wasn't being taken over you wouldn't have remembered because in this moment he wasn't with you. He was sitting across the grill watching you dunked your fries into a strawberry milkshake with a huge smile on your face in front of your friends. You seemed happy, and it was like you were witnessing someone come back to life. First grief hit you hard, then relief and joy, and then reality set in and it was like you realized that it was all just dream and that person was still dead and never coming back and you were never going to be happy again.

He tore his hands away from you, allow you to steal in some oxygen and you went dizzy, using the car for support so you wouldn't collapse on the ground. Your chest heaving as you tried to reel in your mind what you just saw, what you felt, what you heard. All of his memories. All of the bad things he's ever done, or things he would consider to be bad. But in his mind, it was only reason that you would probably be more inclined to leave him for.

Through every memories you were overwhelmed with emotions. Whatever you could feel you felt. You didn't know which emotions were yours or his. You couldn't separate the feelings. But in some weird way you could tell that the pain and anguish churning in your gut was his. You didn't know his family well enough to have regrets, or remorse... that was all him. All the fronts he put up... all those emotions exposed everything.

"Get in the car." He spoke softly, helping you off the car so he could open the door. "You don't need to say anything, I'm taking you home and then I'll be gone." He spoke as if he knew that you wanted to be nowhere near him.

Instead, you just wanted to give him a hug. That gut wrenching pain he felt still lingering within your body. Tears streaming down your cheeks but not because of what you saw, but how he felt. Every one of your friends have done things of equal evil status. Judging him for things he obviously did regret and feel everyday wouldn't be fair to him. And whether you felt like that because you wanted to be fair or because you were in love with him was a mystery to even you.

You didn't speak, you just sat in the car staring ahead of you. Trying to determine how you really truly felt. Why was him seeing you so bad that he felt he needed to include that memory in his mind torture. You barely felt time move as he flew down the road at the same speed as before. When he parked in front of the apartment the two of you shared, he decided he would just stay out and drive all night. He didn't know where to go. He knew you probably wouldn't want him around. You stared blankly at the red bricked building with the dim lights hanging from the walls.

"Y/N." He spoke softly, not wanting to look at the tears running down your cheeks.

"Kai." You returned, voice soft and brittle unaware of how vulnerable you sounded to him. "Why do you consider meeting me a bad thing?" You asked, not a single other word coming to mind.

"I don't regret meeting you. I regret putting you in this position in the first place. And if I didn't insert myself into your life then-"

"Then you wouldn't be breaking up with me on the side of the road. Leaving me alone to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did wrong to push you away. To wonder why my love wasn't good enough reassurance-" you rambled not sure why everything was coming out of your lips.

"then you wouldn't be crying right now. Then you could've avoided all of this." He sighed in response. He hated when you cried, if it was anyone else it would've been annoying. Your tears always were the one thing that could truly break him into pieces. "When I met you... when I met you, I was so sure that you were just going to ignore me or hate my guts. I fucking left your friend in a prison world to die, y/n. I tortured you, yet you still see me as someone who's able to be redeemed. You SAW what I did, and your still defending me!" His own tears starting to pool. "I d-don't want you to hate me... and I don't want to do this... but I do want to be happy and I don't think you could ever really do that until I'm out of your life." You silently shook your head as you tried not to let your own tears keep falling. Your heart clenching in your chest, breathing getting harder to achieve.

You didn't speak.

You couldn't.

Pain hitting you harder as each second passed. You didn't know how to respond to be truthful so you just unbuckle your seat belt. You sniffled, waking the tears from you cheeks only to has fresh one replace the one you wiped away. Kai still refused to look at you, maybe you finally did she was shitty person her was. And how stupid you were for being with him. You opened the door, getting out quickly hoping he follow you but he didn't. You were still a bit dizzy from him flooding his memories through your head. You're steps were slow and wobbly and you were bound to fall in seconds but you just kept moving. To any who didn't know what you've just been through, you were just so drunk sorority girl trying to make it to the door.

Kai watched you struggled for a second, knowing you could hold your own, but he didn't want you to. He got out of the car, not even caring about locking it behind himself. His feet carried the rest him over to you. Almost as if his body was acting on instinct to help you. His arm wrapped around you, your sweet scent immediately wafting into his nose causing a tear to slip down his cheek. He ignored it, helping you, and you just let him. You didn't feel like fighting. You just wanted his touch on your skin, so you allowed him to help you.

Many thoughts flooded your head. He was as bad as everyone said he was. But you he'd never hurt you, in any way. He wouldn't hurt anyone else because that would hurt you. He was good because he wanted to be, but only for you. No one else has ever really given him good enough reason to be good. You knew he wasn't the same person that he was, and tonight just cleared it all up. It didn't stop you from loving him. It just gave you all the more reason to. You've seen your best friends do worst than him, who were you to cash him out for something he's going to feel his entire life?

You didn't speak the entire way to your front door. He unlocked the door for you, hoping you would just be able to walk and get some rest on the couch or something.

You had other plans.

You stood straight on your own, looking back to the brown haired siphon who realized he was just fooled into a trap. Your hands reached for his, taking his hand in yours quickly before he could walk away.

"Y/n, please, it's easier this way just let me go-"

"You showed me your worst moment so I want to show you my best." You spoke. Eyes dead set on his, hands gripping each other's, neither one of you wanting to let each other go. "Please." You let out a small breath.

"This is going to make it a lot harder-"

"That's the point, Malachi." You sniffle, holding in a tiny laugh.

"Okay." He whispered, preparing himself for the rush of emotions and memories flooding through his head like he did to you. You pulled your hands from his, placing them on each of his temple before beginning the spell.

It wasn't long before he felt your presence in his mind, his on thoughts being taken over with your own thoughts. At first it was a horrible feeling watching every time you were happy, knowing he was never going to be able to see that from you again. Not if he kept his promise. He wouldn't to push you away, his chest light and full with joy and a love so over it was almost crushing. He watched as memories of times you spent with him. From your first date, to that one joke he cracked the made you laugh when he first kidnapped you just to torture you for practice. He watched as he teased you, to the first time the two of you had sex, to the first I love yous, and he felt how warm inside it made you at the fact that he never over used the words. You knew he loved you even when he didn't physically say those words. You felt his love every time you were around him, and that was enough for you.

He felt a soft smile forming on his lips but he could tell if it was from your happiness or knowing how much he really meant to you. Memories of late night cries, and arguments ending in angry sex, and sneaking out of classes, and talking trash about your friends even though you would never said something too horrible about them.

You liked who you were with him. You loved who you were. And he felt all of that, he felt how much love you held for him, how much pain you were in to think about him leaving. And eventually that strong happy, lovely, calm feeling was stripped away from him, leaving him empty for a moment before he felt you hands against his cheeks.

You were holding his face, staring straight into his eyes, both of you almost to the point of sobs. You were praying to god that you're plan worked. The hell were you going to do if it didn't?

"Don't leave me, Kai."

"Y/N-"

"I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Kai. Let me love you, please." You pleaded, bodies moving closer together without each other even realizing. It was natural for you to be close with him, you never questioned it.

He didn't want to say no. But he owed it to you to say no.

"You saw what I did-"

"And you saw how much I love you-"

"You watched in first person how I killed four of my siblings-"

"And you watched from my point of view how badly I fell in love with you."

You just wanted to kiss and make up. You would fall apart if he left you alone. Especially if he was doing it for your own 'happiness' because that meant he thought you weren't happy with him. It was upsetting and slightly insulting, because you were the happiest you've ever been with him.

"I just want to do the right thing, baby." He whimpered quietly, you're heart nearly breaking in a million pieces. His tearing streaming quickly, mentally slapping himself for being so weak for you.

"Then stay... stay and make me the happiest person in the entire world. We could graduate together and get a small house in the suburbs, or- or we could leave. Right now. Travel all across the world, experiencing so many different things together." You offered meaning every word.

At some point in the silence that seemed to last for forever, one of you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't care to pay attention which one of you, but your lips connected, smooshing your faces together to be as close as possible. Tears mixing on each other's cheeks, his hands down on your waist pulling you closer into him as you both made you're way inside your shared home.

He used his foot to kick the door closed, being careful to touch you oh so gently. You were a fragile peace of glass to him, the most beautiful sculpture who had no business being with him. He did nothing to deserve you, yet you felt he deserved you more than anyone in the world. You wasted so many years on him tonight, and for some reason you didn't care anymore. He was here, he was on you, his hands, his lips, your minds in sync for each and every single one of your next moves.

Clothes slowly being tossed the the floor as you both backed each other to your bedroom through the dark apartment. By the time you reached the bed the only thing you had left were you bra and underwear, along with his shirt and boxers. Neither of you had even bothered to pull apart for a single breath. You allowed him to gently lower you on the poorly made bed.

"Mmh, w-wait-" he mumbled against your lips. Youre legs parting for him to slip between which he did without thinking. "This is wrong-"

"No, it's not?" You spoke in confusion. "I love you, Kai. I don't care what Bonnie said, because she doesn't know what this feels like." You shake your head.

"Find someone else to ruin and let her go" Kai quoted, your grip on him tightening. "I don't want to-"

"Maybe I want you to ruin me. To fuck up my life. To fuck up my morals just because I love you. I want that, Kai. I want every bit of it. I want this love that consumes me from the inside out, and I want to be able to go against everything I believe for you. I. Love. You." His hands traveling down your waist, as you let out a sigh.

"I love you." He mumbled. "I love you so fucking much." His lips came down on your collarbone, fingers slipping under you panties waistbands before snapping his fingers to get rid of them. You felt the cold air against your slick heat, the warmth from his own body radiating into yours. His hips grinding down into your, his hardon pressing into you causing a light whimpering as you felt the butterflies raging into the pair of your stomach.

"I just wanna be with you, baby." You let out a soft moan, urging him on as he nips and sucked red marks onto your skin.

You used your own magic to undo the threads of his plain blue shirt as you dragged your hand down his back. The fabric slipping down his arms which he didn't mind. He was too focus on your warm skin under his tongue. His teeth grazing across your skin, coming closed with a tiny pinch every time. Your chest heaving into his from the closeness, and heat of it all.

"Tell me to stop” he mumbled against your skin, hips grinding into your heat as you let out needy moans.

“I need you, Kai, please.” Your lip caught in between your teeth, as the cloth of his underwear separating the two of you disappeared. “I want you so bad.” You whined, fingers digging into the soft warm skin on his back.

You felt his hard on slipping between your slick folds as he rocked his hips back and forth. He wanted to feel you, he wanted you to feel him. He never wanted to leave your side, or go a moment without feeling your warmth. He loved you with every fiber of his being, and there was no possible way he could truly explain that to you.

“Please-” you pleaded before he slowly pushed himself into you. Your mouth hung open as his length filled you to the brim, the tip of his cock hitting that hot spongy spot in your cunt so well you could help but moan. He always did fill you up perfectly, almost as if he was made for you or vice versa. “Oh my god.” You whined, hips grinding into his as his hips set a steady pace.

Your legs resting around his waist, as you let out small breathy moans. He was fucking into you hard, but it still felt amazing. He wanted to take his time with you and you felt it. Your body tingling, mind focused solely on him and everywhere your skin touched his. You felt his lips connected with you neck, continuing to suck soft bruised on the skin, placing a soft kiss after each one whispering a single ‘I love you’ each time. His hands left your waist, traveling up your beautiful naked body, taking all the warmth he could, until he traced your hands to his back. He pulled the off, even though he enjoying the sting of your nails digging into his skin, pinning your hands down above you head. His hands flat onto of yours, fingers intertwining as his lips found yours again, your kisses sloppy and slow. The sound of skin on skin filling the room as his pace quickened earning louder breathier moans from your pretty little mouth.

You felt a bubbling heat in the pit of your stomach signaling you were close to your high. Eyes struggling to sty open, as your boyfriend fucked into you so lovingly. It became harder to do anything other than focus on the feeling of him hitting so deep into you he’s almost hit your cervix. The kisses became harder to return and nothing but the sound of you filled the room. He watched in complete awe as you as you slowly began to fall apart. You were the most beautiful creatures he’s ever laid his eyes on, and he had you here underneath him on your way to this euphoric high that he him caused. His name coming out of your mouth in quiet moans and pleads and warning of you about to explode all over his dick. You were all he’s ever wanted out of life, and now he had you and there was no one and nothing that would take you away from him except for death itself.

You were his and that was final.

“Open your eyes baby, look at me.” He groaned as he felt your cunt convulsing around him so tightly.

You struggled with the actions, your eyes focusing on his eyes as you cried out in pleasure. “I’m so close, Kai, fuck, I’m going to cum.” You whined and he nodded watching as your breathing got heavier.

“Cum for me, baby, cum all over me.” He urged you on, feeling his own high approaching.

You felt something inside you explode, a loud moan his name escaping your lips, all your juices spilling onto his hard cock a he continued fucking you through your high. You body jolting and shaking around him, as he went faster, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you realizing you weren’t done yet.

“So close.” He mumbled, hands squeezing your so tightly you felt as if they were going to break. You ignored the pain of having your hard crush and just let out absorber moan from another orgasm building quickly.

“M’gonna c-cum again!” You warned, strained voice loud and needy.

“Me too baby” Kai moaned back, watching your eyes squeeze shut again taking in the way your body shook around him. “Let go y/n, I know you want to.” He spoke out of breath.

You felt his thrust getting sloppily, but he tried keeping up the pace. His own body stiffening as his cock twitch in you as you clenched around him again. Both of your falling apart with loud moans, and whimpering of each other names, lips coming together again as he spilt every last bit of his hot cum into your beautifully worn out cunt.

Neither of you spoke any words. Just your reveled in each other’s tongues, allowed you naked bodies to somehow merge into one. You felt a sudden tiredness take over you as it did the same to him.

“I don’t want to let you go.” He whispered into your lips.

“Then don’t. Let’s stay this way forever.” You hummed, squeezing his hands in yours.

“Deal.”

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