#getting a diagnosis

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

The Road to Diagnosis

The Autistic Teacher

#autism #actually autistic #diagnosis #personal journey #personal experiences #getting a diagnosis #feel free to share/reblog #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #The Autistic Teacher (Facebook)

[fellow-queer-birdguy]

I asked my mom about what type of kid I was... And then she described autism, which helps a lot with impostor syndrome.

I am so happy I'm on my way to get a proper diagnosis! It's taking time but I'm getting there!!

#undiagnosed autism #actually autistic #autism #neurodivergent #getting a diagnosis

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

#woof #like self diagnosis is one thing #but saying someone is autistic because they talk about a specific hobby a lot is weird (and waters down the actual definition of autism) #and its no different than saying someone has ocd bc they organize their books alpabetically #or saying someone has ADHD because they got distracted by something #and people who aren't even autistic are honestly getting way too comfortable with autism jokes

[jackalope78]

The Diagnosis

When I started this tubmlr back in December, I wasn't really quite sure what I wanted to do with it. I still miss Livejournal and have long wanted some kind of replacement. Now though, I need a place to work through medical shit, someplace mostly anonymous where I won't accidentally hurt my friends with my anger. Because oh my god I'm angry and hurt and scared, but I also don't want to put that on the people who love me because they don't deserve it.

So hello void, this is my scream. Feel free to yell back, I completely get it.

I'm going to put down a timeline of the past three weeks, because I don't want to forget it.

March 21 I noticed my feet were numb. Like a Reynaud's attack but I wasn't cold. Thought hm... I should probably go in to the doctor about that.

March 25, noticed my legs were not quite as sensitive as they should be after a shower, the towel felt weird when I dried them

March 26, morning. Called the helpline for my insurance. The nurse I spoke to was very nice and calm, but I could hear the "OH SHIT" in her voice as she said, "I need you to go to the emergency room, these are the hospitals near you that we work with, please don't drive yourself, if you can't get someone to take you, we can arrange for an ambulance"

This is indeed about when I realized this was serious. still didn't know how serious but you know... maybe it's better that these things happen in stages.

Anyway, I called my very dear friend. someone I knew was currently taking a work sabbatical, and asked her if she could come pick me up and take me to the ER. I then went to my weekly work meeting, as I knew that it would be a while before my friend would arrive. Meeting went well, friend showed up, I told my boss I needed to go, and off we went.

I was seen pretty quickly for being a non bleeding patient in the ER. They did some tests, including an MRI of my spine, and that showed bad things. Bright spots. Demyelinating Fassomething I can't be bothered to look up how to spell right now. So around 4pm (we got there around 11:30AM) they admitted me to as an inpatient there in the hospital because they wanted to do more tests. Another MRI for starters. My friend, who stayed with me the whole time, did I mention she's a dear friend and an absolute champ, went to my apartment to bring me pajamas and feed my cat and get some overnight supplies like toothbrushes and toothpaste and deodorant. She also made me a little snack "hey you're in the hospital and it sucks" care package and it was the absolute best. Have I mentioned she's the most amazing? Cause even in this relative anonymity she deserves a shout out. I let my boss know that I was being admitted and then called my parents to give them an update. They live halfway across the country and I didn't want to worry them, but also they should know. I told them I was fine, don't panic. Don't fly out. I would keep them updated.

Here's where my timeline goes kind of fuzzy? Time is liminal in the hospital and it can be hard to keep track. It both expanded and shrunk down to nothing. I did get another MRI, this time of the brain and neck and both with and without contrast. I'm pretty sure that happened on the 27th. A neurologist came to see me. Again I think on the 27th. Due to the results of the second MRI they said they wanted to do a lumbar puncture, but the techs were swamped so it might be Thursday, but more likely Friday. The neurologist also mentioned that she's leaning towards multiple sclerosis, but she couldn't be sure until after the lumbar puncture. But I should prepare myself for that.

Sometime on the 28th my arms went a little numb. Because stress. So they decided to do an intravenous injection of a steroid. which meant I had to get a new IV port put in because damn my little rolly veins and their inability to hold a port. That in an of itself was an ordeal. I had quite a few nurses come in to try and find a good vein, they had to call in the specialty nurses to do it, but since they had a trauma to deal with, it didn't happen till late. I was there in the bed, one nurse on each arm, putting in two ports so they wouldn't have to do it again. I absolutely went to the zone out place. I shut my eyes and started humming "In The Bleak Midwinter". Why that song? I HAVE NO IDEA. I love it, it's one of my favorite carols, and it's soothing in a way I can't describe. The weirdest thing for me is that since they came so late in the night (around midnight I think) I didn't have my glasses on, so I have no idea what either one of them looks like, one was male, the other was a woman with big curly hair that she had up in this high poufy ponytail. They were just blurry shapes with hands.

Friday the 29th I got the lumbar puncture. WHICH WAS A NOTHING PROCEDURE. Holy cow, medical dramas lie about that one. I went in, they had me lie on my belly, they numbed the skin with something that felt like a tiny pinch, and then they raised me up on an angle. And the doctor said, we're just collecting the fluid now, we'll be done soon and I said, "wait you stuck me already". Absolutely nothing. Best thing I had done. Way nicer then the MRI. (I hate those things).

I was released late Friday, I had another injection and then I could go home. I needed to go to my provider on Saturday for the third injection (I ended up being told to go have it done again on Sunday and Monday).

On Monday April 1, I had some kind of weird reaction to the stress and just everything and got a bout of vertigo. I did go back to urgent care, a friend went with me. They wanted to do another MRI, just incase, so it was anther overnight for me. Then Thursday April 4 I had something? I don't remember, but once again I was back at urgent care. I was fine. And they found a last minute appointment with a neurologist, which was nice because the one I had originally was for April 23rd to go over test results. And that's where I got my diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. Yay. It's been a week now of digesting and processing the news. I have had a call with a clinical pharmacist to go over the medication they're going to put me on. I need to get blood drawn for more lab tests. I have an upcoming appointment with a physical therapist and another doctor. But god is this a lot to process and deal with.

On one had, it explains SO FUCKING MUCH about various things that have been happening over the past- god I don't even know -5ish years? On the other hand, why the fuck didn't I push harder or even go to the doctor about these things. Why did I (not even the doctor, but ME) just chalk all this up to being older, fat, and out of shape. Please, please if I could tell the internet one thing, don't chalk things up to getting older. Please talk to your doctor about small changes that you notice. Even if you do think it's just that you're getting older and you're kind of out of shape and maybe a bit fat.

#getting a diagnosis #I wasn't just old and fat #living with Multiple Sclerosis #wait am I disabled now #multiple sclerosis #chronic illness #timeline

[sufferblr]

so sad that in america the only options after a terminal cancer diagnosis is either to make meth or make saw traps

#peepaws get no peace even after a terminal diagnosis #its the average hospice activity #breaking bad #brba #saw #saw x #sawposting #my posts

[ivebeenmade]

Have to go back to the doc in a few days now that my latest blood test results are in. Not anemic, thyroid normal. Still having the same pain, but most days it's tolerable enough to get around and go to work. But the pain is *real*. I think any doubts about having fibromyalgia by myself or my docs have been ruled out.

#personal #fibromyalgia #getting a diagnosis #le sigh

[vizthedatum]

My evolving decision-making and thoughts on getting the official autism diagnosis (one of many posts I will make and have been making)

Realizing and internalizing that I'm autistic the past 1-2 years has been a significant upheaval in my life. It's brought a lot of clarity.

Yesterday, I had a long and sad conversation with my primary care provider (well, she's a PA-C (Physician Assistant-Certified), but honestly, I trust her more than the doctor she works with... I call her my PCP because she knows her stuff and actually helps me coordinate everything) about my getting my autism diagnosis... and how not having been evaluated or diagnosed as a child has severely impacted the quality of my life (made me more prone to abuse, lack of support, increased risk for stress and inflammation, etc.).

For those who know, getting an official autism diagnosis on your chart as an adult is difficult. Not many practices will do it, and what's more, the ones who will do it... there are long waitlists, insurance incompatibilities, and outdated and tedious evaluation methods.

After all (as I remind many people), the way that autism and the spectrum are characterized in the Western medical system is based on studies done on young white boys. Also, in my professional and personal opinion, the DSM-5 is outdated and not very generalizable to most of humanity.

Additionally, getting the official diagnosis on my chart puts me at risk for discrimination. I already have credibility issues with my healthcare providers... although since getting my PhD, it's gotten a lot better? And also being more assertive in general. I do a lot of research before going to a healthcare visit, but that's a privilege I have that not many of my peers have. I was diagnosed with many of my chronic conditions later in life, which was unfortunate.

The way that US socio-politics is going... being officially diagnosed as autistic will put me at risk for not receiving gender-affirming care. I really want to be on testosterone and get top-surgery after breastfeeding my future child. An autism diagnosis in some states, the way legislature is going, may prevent me from getting that care. And I may not be welcome in many countries for being autistic.

--

I have struggled for so long. And so have my friends. Most of my friends are neurodivergent (autistic, ADHD, DID, BPD, etc. etc.). Some are diagnosed, some are self-diagnosed, and some are figuring it out. And even then, most of my friends have been traumatized due to a lack of support.

They say that autistic people can't be social. I've been friends (very close friends) with autistic people of varying levels of social "functioning" my entire life. When I've taught swimming or academic subjects in universities... I could reach autistic people far more readily than my "neurotypical" peers/colleagues. It's not that we can't be social... we have our various ways of interacting with other beings and our environment. And many of us have masked and mimicked our way into mainstream society to... survive.

The perception of what the spectrum is needs an overhaul.

I even had (and this will be a whole other post) a discussion about the nuances of "black-and-white" thinking that many autistic people do... with my therapist.

I hate "functioning" labels that get put on neurodivergent folk.

I don't know if it's obvious but the reason why a lot of autistic people struggle in this world is not because of us.... it's because our environments are not built or accommodated for us.

Being autistic isn't a disease. And while it's a disability - it's only a disability because we are not able in how our environments and socio-political systems are structured.

#thoughts on autism #autism #autistic #autism spectrum #asd #neurodivergence #getting a diagnosis #getting support #not knowing what support you need #burnout #mental health #social #socializing #neurodivergent people are magnets for each other #healing #trauma #queer #self love #prose #trans #healthcare #autism diagnosis #thoughts #journaling

[dokani]

decided i’m gonna get this printed as a poster and just hang it above my bed so each morning i can wake up feeling like a victim of medical malpractice

#then from that point the day can only get better #wake up like MEDICAL BILLS?! #and then go oh no nvm #my friend had a one piece poster like this above their bed #i made fun of them for it #look at me now #anyways they look so cute here #despite the fact they look like they’re studying me! #appraising my value! #alas! #house md #diagnosis: yaoi

[mental-health-advice]

Hello! I think I might have ADHD. I'm already diagnosed w Autism, but some friends (who do have ADHD) are saying I might have both. I was on Ritalin in high school for awhile but my mom gas light me into thinking I didnt need it even though it helped. I know you can have both and I've looked into it and it seems to fit, but i really dont know anymore. Also worried I might be just making this up in my head. Task initiation is really hard so it could be months before I actually contact my Dr. Any thoughts? Or tips?

Hey there,

It can be really tough when friends try to throw upon us what they view we might have diagnosis wise. I can only imagine that your friends have your best interest at heart but it can also be quite dangerous when we or others try to self-diagnose.

The reasoning behind this is because whilst yes, you may have ADHD, you really need a definite diagnosis to enable you get the best support and treatment possible. Without a proper diagnosis you could not only misdiagnose yourself or also prevent yourself from receiving that support and treatment.

I am so sorry that your Mum made you feel as though you didn’t need to take the Ritalin despite it being helpful for you. Would a proper diagnosis of ADHD give your Mum the reassurance that being on this medication is beneficial for you at this point in time? I know that your Mum may not ever feel like you should be on the Ritalin but if there was a chance that your Mum may be on your side with it, I guess you could say, don’t you think it’s worth a try to go see your doctor?

In regards to you finding doing tasks really difficult, is it possible that one of your friends could make the appointment for you? And even maybe attend the appointment with you if you feel that will be helpful and give you that initial push to see your doctor? Just an idea!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren  

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #ADHD #getting a diagnosis #Ritalin #seeing doctor

[tam--lin]

The thing is, you don’t have to have a diagnoses to make simple “unmasking” changes that make your life easier. You don’t even have to self-diagnose! You are not appropriating anyone’s culture or struggles or hijacking anyone’s movement by allowing yourself to sway in line at the grocery store or buying a weighted blanket or using study or household hacks intended for people with ADHD. If you start favoring the needs that make your brain and body unique over the arbitrary norms of society, you’ll be better off, and you’ll be expanding the norms. It’s a win/win.

#sometimes I consider What I Have Going On Upstairs #and think 'should I try to get some sort of diagnosis?' #but it wouldn't help me right now! I don't need work accomodations - work IS the accomodation #but allowing myself to sit on the floor in the corner of the airport instead of on a chair #or fidget in lines #gives me one less thing to worry about AND makes my brain happy AND makes 'odd' but harmless behaviors #more normalized which ultimately helps people #who have needs that are several standard deviations away from ~~normal~~ #it's a win-win-win #tam.txt #related but on a different line of thinking: #somewhere along the line we majorly screwed up with how we talk about appropriation #I think we're getting better but whoa boy... #seen some baffling takes about pretty normal things like socializing color codes for get-togethers #or weighted blankets #being Only For Autistic People #nah bro that's the last thing on earth the vast majority of disability advocates are interested in

[thegunslingerletmedrop]

#911 abc #911edit #chimney han #911 gifs #madney #kevin lee #maddie buckley #glmdedit #jee yun buckley han #albert han #henrietta wilson #karen wilson #john lee #anne lee #eddie diaz #evan buckley #ravi panikkar #bobby nash #look i hope people are as emotionally damaged by this as i was making it #we only had kevin for like 25 mins but i've never gotten over him #this guy has every reason to be a horrible miserable character but no #no he's the coolest cheeriest funniest caring man alive #sick dead mom at a young age and abandoned by an absent father and taking care of sick after her diagnosis #ideas constantly shut down for owning a business and losing his brother on the job #and also sorta losing mr lee who couldn't bear to see him without being reminded of kevin bc they were so intertwined #failing in love and getting stabbed and left for dead #oh and the rebar accident where he almost died again #losing the love of his life and then finding her but not being together with her

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Undiagnosed Autism

Autism Parenting + Wellbeing

#autism #actually autistic #autism awareness month #autism acceptence month #undiagnosed autism #how getting an diagnosis can be helpful #self diagnosed autism #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #feel free to share/reblog #Autism Parenting + Wellbeing (Facebook)

[arthursfuckinghat]

Chapter One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six.

"I know I ruined your life, I suffer for it every day."

#the way he gets pale and his cheeks are sunken and his eyes redden I'm going to start sobbing #I always kept him at an average weight but after his diagnosis he's permanently underweight <\3 #but it's lovely to see how his hair has grown #it wasn't deliberate but the way he gets further away from the camera breaks me #oh arthur don't look at me like that please #i'm so sorry #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #red dead redemption community #red dead redemption 2 spoilers #oh arthur #i'm going to cry

[vroomvroomwee]

Who was gonna tell me that sitting down on a cold hard floor alone in a room barely illuminated with only a small lamp light in the dead of night, hugging your knees while putting the same song on loop to play over and over and over again as you close your eyes and start rocking side to side softly and slowly for 30 minutes FELT SO GOOOD??

#ive never felt more fresh #i honestly teared up a bit #because i felt myself relax #i dont think i remember ghe last time i did that #god the feeling hit me like a train #stimming #is this stimming? #i think i should really get that diagnosis #autism #adhd #audhd #actually audhd #audhd things #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #neurodiversity

[stillaliveiguess]

In my autism evaluation today, my evaluator said "whether or not we can give you an on-the-books diagnosis, you do have autistic traits. I would never want to take away language that has helped you find a supportive community or skills and tools that help you navigate the world. Don't use the diagnosis as the be-all end-all measure of your validity."

#autism #autistic #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #autism evaluation #asd #autism spectrum disorder #autism diagnosis #getting diagnosed would be exciting tho!

[ao3-crack]

(x)

#archive of our own #ao3 quotes #ao3 stuff #archive of our own quotes #fanfic #fanfic quotes #funny #ao3 #just accept your true calling as a theatre kid and go get your adhd diagnosis already #this is actually a really good fic #it explores gender in a cool and meaningful way #also #this is me with literally every one of my friends #how I ended up being the only non-theatre kid is a mystery #(actually I have crippling anxiety that decides to pop in every time I stand in front of a group so that might be it) #adhd #theatre #theatre kid