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arintyas · 5 months

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“Dan jangan mengencangkan pelana (melakukan perjalanan jauh) kecuali untuk mengunjungi tiga masjid: Masjidil Haram, Masjidil Aqsha, dan Masjidku (Masjid Nabawi)," (HR Bukhari).

Dari Ibnu Az-Zubair bahwa Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda, “Sekali shalat di masjidku ini lebih utama daripada 1000 kali shalat di masjid lainnya kecuali Masjidil Haram dan sekali shalat di Masjidil Haram lebih utama daripada 100 kali shalat di masjidku ini.” (Diriwayatkan oleh Imam Ahmad, hadits ini sahih menurut Ibnu Hibban) [HR. Ahmad, 26:41-42; Ibnu Hibban, 1620. Sanad hadits ini sahih].

“Antara rumahku dan mimbarku terdapat taman di antara taman surga." (HR. Bukhari, no. 1196 dan Muslim, no. 1391)

"Sesungguhnya Safa dan Marwah merupakan sebagian syi'ar (agama) Allah. Maka barangsiapa beribadah haji ke Baitullah atau berumroh, tidak ada dosa baginya mengerjakan sa'i antara keduanya. Dan barangsiapa dengan kerelaan hati mengerjakan kebajikan, maka Allah Maha Mensyukuri, Maha Mengetahui." (QS Al-Baqarah [2]: 158).

Hadist-hadist yang saya nukil diatas merupakan hadist Shahih

Tahun ini merupakan tahun terberat dan tahun penuh hadiah dari Allah.

Kami bersyukur atas setiap yang Allah beri, baik ujian, hidayah dan memperbaiki diri sehingga berusaha menjadi yang Allah suka, menjalankan keseharian dengan tenang karena Allah selalu mendampingi.

Setelah keguguran 2x, kami diingatkan untuk bersaturahmi kepada saudara kami yang sakit dan ‘sripah’. Silaturahmi yang tidak mudah tapi tetap kami jalankan.

Satu persatu pintu mulai terbuka, Allah tiba-tiba memberi saya ide untuk mewujudkan keinginan mertua. Pergi ke Bromo. Disitu, tidaklah selalu mudah dan selalu senang. Ada senang, tapi tidak mudah naik gunung (walaupun Bromo yang tidak mendaki) membawa balita. Anak kami mabok sepanjang jalan. Yang harusnya bisa gitu dia tidur aja kan gelap, tapi karena excited naik jeep jadi malah melek berujung mabok sepanjang jalan kelak kelok itu diisi mabok, diisi makanan/minum mabok lagi sampai lemas. Berasa naik halilintar di dufan kali dia. Tapi alhamdulillah dia sehat dan dapat bergabung sampai akhir dan lancar kembali 🥹 padahal habis turun dari Bromo menerjang kemacetan libur lebaran Malang yang swuperrr sekali langsung tolak ke Jogja.

Beruntung saya mempunyai suami yang Allah pasangkan untuk saya. Kami kompak menjaga anak kami dengan mood dan dalam keadaan nyaman walau tubuhnya mungkin tidak nyaman. Suami saya bisa diajak kerjasama. Saya dapat keyakinan itu (walau sebelumnya pun saya tahu dia begitu tapi kali ini makin yakin karena ini perjalanan kami terlama dan ter-menantang bersama anak balita kami)

Sampai ketika bapak ibu mertua sekeluarga berencana umroh. Saya juga sudah sangat ingiiin sekali berangkat umroh, impian sejak 2013. Tadinya saya ragu umroh membawa balita, banyak ketakutan. Takut tidak maksimal, takut anak lepas nanti tidak dalam pengawasan, takut biaya, takut dll dll. Banyak. Karena ini bukan umroh dalam bayangan saya, bayangan saya umroh tidak membawa anak dan memakai travel. Tapi ini tidak. Umroh ini umroh mandiri, umroh pertama kali, dan umroh bawa anak. Overthinking.

Tapi suami saya meyakinkan. Ayo gpp, mumpung bareng-bareng. Saya tanya, memang finansial kita siap? Suami jawab, kita bisa siapkan. Kita usahakan semaksimal mungkin.

Saya pikir-pikir lagi, anak kami pun sedang suka ke Masjid, suka hafalan surat pendek, dan suka tentang kisah nabi. Jadi itu menambah kecenderungan saya untuk mengajak dia yang sedang senang belajar agama untuk berangkat ke masjid terbaik, terbesar, termegah dan terramai di dunia ini.

Singkat cerita kami sering kontak dengan keluarga diluar kota dan diluar negeri. Kami janjian umroh bersama. Dari Indonesia berangkat bersama dan bertemu dengan keluarga yang lain di Madinah.

Suami saya senang sekali, setiap videocall dengan kakak adiknya di bersemangat. Padahal kalau bahas persiapan bisa sampai dini hari karena beda waktu. Ibarat kata harta benda badan terpakai untuk umroh gapapa.

Karena memang umroh ibadah fisik dan harta.

Dia senang bisa umroh bersama keluarga kecilnya dan keluarga besarnya.

Saya pun menawarkan kepada ibu saya, tapi ibu insyaAllah 1-2 th lagi berangkat ibadah Haji jika Allah mengijinkan. Ibu bilang ingin menyiapkan fisik dulu. Lagipula ini tahun terakhir ibu mengabdi di tempat kerjanya, tidak ingin melewatkan setiap momen.

Tiba hari-h saya berangkat, dengan penuh rasa khawatir karena umroh ini tanpa perencanaan jauh hari. Hanya 5 bulan. Prosesnya 5 bulan dari kami yang tidak punya paspor. Semua urus secara mandiri dari paspor, visa, pesan tiket dan hotel, persiapan, sampai akhirnya pulang dan semua terlalui dengan mengantongi perasaan bahagia dan kerinduan yang bertambah rindu.

Kenangan ini yang sungguh berarti dan tidak akan saya lupa.

Tahun ini banyak sekali yang Allah ajarkan kepada saya dan keluarga. Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli hal.

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fadhilahelfairuz · 1 year

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Ada yang membuatku patah hati sekaligus bikin pemantik semangatku akhir-akhir ini. Tentang ibuk yang ingin berangkat umroh karena melihat perkataan besar orang disekitarnya. I know, kalau pergi umroh dan haji adalah rukun islam yang terakhir, but bukan soal rasa jumawa pergi kesana.

Keadaan yang menuntut prioritas lebih dari bapak dan ibuk, yang kadang membuat orang disekitarnya nggak ngerti kondisi ini. Prioritas pendidikan aku dan saudara-saudara kandungku yang banyaaaak sekalii menyita keinginan beliau berdua, hingga salah satunya keinginan untuk bersua di tanah suci.

Sebagai anak, patah hati melihat ibuk seperti itu. Sekaligus menjadi menyulut semangat buat ngumpulin banyak uang buat bapak dan ibuk umroh. Lalu overthinking ku berbicara, apa aku bisa?

Usaha. Bismillah.

2/365

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cocotangaje · 2 years

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6 Agustus 2022

Menurut gue, dewasa itu bukan hanya soal punya beban overthinking passion, bayar listrik, beli kebutuhan belanjaan sendiri, dsb. Itu tuh cuma permukaan dari proses pendewasaan. Tapi yang lebih penting dari itu adalah kemampuan memaklumi sifat menyebalkan orangtua yang makin lama tingkahnya makin bikin ngelus dada.

Inisiatif gue dalam memperbaiki keluarga masih amat sangat besar. Utamanya kakak gue, yang banyak kegores tapi gak keluar karena banyak mendem gabisa ngungkapin perasaan pake kata-kata. Sesuai urutan lahir, gue menjadi jembatan penghubung antara keduanya; orangtua dan kakak gue. Karena jujur, kakak gue ini kek papap copy paste versi cewek. Berbekal keinginan dan ilmu sotoy, gue mulai memberanikan diri untuk menembus semua rasa dendam teteh dan membuat teteh percaya lagi bahwa disamping semua sifat buruk dan kebiasaan papap, he’s trying his best for being a good dad.

Papap tuh punya anger issues. Setiapkali dia marah, segala hal bisa dilempar, semua kebun binatang bisa diabsen, mukanya nyampe merrraahh dan semua urat-urat di kepalanya keluar. Beliau juga suka nunjuk-nunjuk pake telunjuk ditambah penekanan kata yang tegas. Dulu, gue ketakutan banget sama itu. Bahkan nyampe ke psikolog. Ril min wkwkw. Tapi sebagaimana hasil diskusi gue sama psikolog dulu, gue perlu memaafkan untuk bisa menghadapi itu. Dan gue sekarang alhamdulillah udah bisa menghadapinya lebih baik dan mengontrol kendali emosi disaat beliau lagi berapi-api.

Balik lagi ke pembahasan teteh, Jadi karena doi sibuk kerja, setelah pulang haji kemaren dia langsung sibuk sama urusan kantornya. Disini salahpaham dimulai. Orangtua gue yang cuma lulusan SMA gak paham gimana sibuknya orang kantoran. Dan tetehpun ngga punya kemampuan untuk menjelaskan dengan baik ke mereka nyampe mereka paham. Karena minta orangtua maklum udah susah (dan menurut gue gak sopan), jadilah gue berusaha membujuk teteh untuk ngalah dan kali ini aja ngelus egonya papap yang udah berusaha sebaik mungkin memberikan yang terbaik versi beliau dalam menjalankan peran sebagai seorang ayah.

Diskusi gue sama teteh berlangsung alot. Tentu gue sempet jadi pelampiasan amukan dan amarah tidak tersampaikan teteh ke papap pas di awal gue minta dia buat ngalah. Gue iya-iyain semua amarahnya, gue validasi semua kekesalannya. Setelah gue baca nada chatnya sedikit reda, gue maju pelan nyampein argumen gue yang dimulai dengan muji dia.

Teteh kan pinter, lulusan terbaik pas kuliah, cumlaude, beasiswa, kerja di bank juga. Jangan disamain kemampuan pemahamannya sama mamah papap yang cuma lulusan SMA. Bukan maksud ngerendahin sih, gue sebenernya tau mereka sering minder soal ini. Maksud gue nyampein itu gue mau buat si teteh merasa teteh punya power lebih diatas orangtua gue untuk coba memahami semua tindakan menyebalkan mereka. Memahami, memaklumi, dengan membenarkan beda ya. Ini cuma kek gue pengen dia paham dulu orangtua lu gitu tuh karena mereka gak seberuntung kita makanya nggak nyampe pemikirannya ke pemikiran kita yang jauh lebih luas dari mereka. Darisitu setelah teteh ngerasa “hebat”, gue meminjam sedikit kehebatannya untuk mau sekadar memaklumi usaha terbaik orangtua untuk membahagiakan anak-anaknya.

Dan,

Berhasil.

Dia bilang besok mau chat dan nyampein apa yang gue maksud ke dia. Gue sengaja gak bahas perihal uang biaya haji ini itu karena takut malah salah persepsi ke orangtua yang pamrih dan gak ikhlas dalam ngasih materi. Tapi gue sangat menekankan mengenai usaha papap dalam ngasih pendidikan agama ke anak-anaknya dari mulai ngajarin huruf hijaiyah, tajwid, bacaan sholat, nyampe ke tahap paling tinggi pergi haji. Gue juga banyak nekenin soal gimana gigihnya papap dalam bertanggungjawab mengupayakan kelayakan hidup anak-anaknya biar bisa ngejalanin kehidupan “enak”

GUE BERHASIL.

YA ALLAH, NANGIS.

KADO ULANGTAHUN 22 GUE... Gini aja bahagia banget ya Allah.

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irusdha · 2 years

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Lama banget ga overthinking, mungkin juga karena pikiran sudah lama ga pernah diajak mikir. Sepertinya perlu ditambah ilmu yang berisi, agar pikiran ga cuma mikirin yang diluar kendali. Mikir pengen produktif lagi. Padahal produktif itu ga cuma semangat sekarang, besok hilang lagi. Belajar konsisten lagi. Semoga tidak lupa lagi buat tulis ingin-ingin, juga agar selalu ingat mimpi-mimpi. Kembali. Sadari. Saat ini. :) 28072022 . . . 📷 mbak yang menanti MRT #refleksidiri #muhasabah #produktif #pembelajar #jakarta #mrtjakarta (at Stasiun MRT Haji Nawi) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgjqM27pYmm/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#refleksidiri #muhasabah #produktif #pembelajar #jakarta #mrtjakarta

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iwadori · 3 years

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Haikyu Boys when they neglect you for another girl PT 2(Oikawa)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Word count: 2.1K

Genre: angst,fluff

Oikawa:

You Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been best friends for as long as you can remember

You thought that Iwaizumi liked you, but all thoughts of that left your head once Oikawa confessed to you when you were in your last year of middle school.

You and Oikawa started dating you in highschool in your first year and have been inseperable ever since.

You and Oikawa were as opposite as you were the same making you a perfect match.

It was the first day of your final term of your third year. You and Oikawa were planning to go the same university but to do that you obviously need to pass your entrance exams so you fully immersed in your studies.

You have been the manager of Seijoh since your first year, but because of how time consuming it is and you now fully want to focus on your studies you decided to step down from your title. However, you still were fully supportive of the team making sure to go to every one of their games and even coming to majority of their practices with your textbooks and notes with you.

It seems someone took your place as the manager, yet you don’t know who as have been so busy all you could do in finding your replacement was stick up some posters telling whoever wanted the job to talk to the coaches. But you hope the new manager is at least half as good as you.

You decide after school, you were going to take a break from studying so you went to go to the gym to see your boyfriend and the guys at practice. When you enter, you see all the boys fussing and fanning over someone who you couldn’t tell who it was.

You spot Iwaizumi away from the crowd tying his laces, when you approach him he looks up and smiles fondly at you, “Hey Y/N” he says schooching over so you can sit next to him.

“Hey Haji” you say ruffling his hair playfully “Who’s the celebrity?”

“Oh Ririka-san” he responds “The new manager” when he says this he slightly scowls, but you don’t quite catch it as your focus is on your boyfriend who is being his usual boastful self infront of who you presume is ‘Ririka-san.’

As the group disperses, they all approach you with Oikawa lifting you up and spinning you obnoxiously making you laugh at his action. “Well hello to you to Tooru” you say kissing him on the cheek.

You look in front of you and there was Ririka with her hand extended out for you to shake “Hi I'm Yagami Ririka” she says “But you can call me Ririka, you’re Y/N right?”

You shake her hand quickly dropping it responding with a dry “hi.” Oikawa notices the awkward atmosphere that you created with your response and decides to drag you away to show you his serves. You weren’t fully focused on your boyfriend, with your eyes occasionally drifting to the new girl who seemed to give you a bad vibe from your first introduction.

Practice ends, and Oikawa walks you home (per usual.) Once you are at home, you decide to social stalk Ririka to see if you can find something to confirm your suspicions on her. You’re claims weren’t based on anything besides a vibe but since she is apparently in your year and always has been you find it weird that you haven’t heard a word about her all until now. You don’t find anything on her, besides her being as ‘perfect’ as she seems.

As you and Oikawa walk home together again from the next day’s practice, you were hoping that he shared your same concerns about Seijohs manager but when you ask “Kawa.. Don't you think Ririka-san is a bit odd?”

He looks at you curiously, smiles and says “No of course not, Rii-chan is fine”

‘Rii-chan’ you think, a slight pang of jealousy surges through you at the use of this newfound nickname

“In some ways she reminds me of you, you know?” he says chuckling, but you weren’t listening focused on the name he just called her.

“Rii-chan, huh?” you say

“It’s just a nickname Y/N, I give them to everone, you know that Y/N” he says

“Yeah yeah I know Kawa, I was just overthinking that’s all” you lie, you knew Oikawa gave everyone a nickname but this one definitely stuck on your mind then all of others and although you can admit your jealousy but there was something else bothering you.

“Well don’t overthink too much” Oikawa says giving you a kiss on the forehead “Don’t want to heart your pretty head about it.” Oikawa then lets you enter your house before taking off to his own.

Over the next few weeks, you are mainly focused on your studies, barely having any time to be with your boyfriend at all. However, if you did even have the time to spend with Oikawa, he was definitely not available since all his time was now with ‘Rii-chan,’ whenever you asked him to hang out with you or to go on dates he always used the excuse of ‘Rii-chan needs help with the schedule and since IM THE CAPTAIN I have to help’ or ‘Rii-chan has no friends in our year, and since it seems that YOU don’t want to befriend her im doing the nice thing by becoming her friend’ and with that you always wanted to reply with ‘maybe no one wants to be her friend because she’s such a bitch’ but you held your tounge.

Today you were fed up with your boyfriends lack of being around and decided to go to his house in the hopes that you can watch a movie or do something together. When you get there, you knock on his door and you hear him shout “Come up it’s open,” was he expecting you or something?

You go upstairs to his bedroom, where you know he’ll be and to your surprise when you open the door in his room it is basically set up like a movie date with food and snacks and a bunch of dvd’s and blankets set up on the floor. ‘Was he planning on you to be here?’ you think.

“Rii-chan you made I-” says Oikawa, stopping hisself when he sees that it’s not his beloved Rii-chan but only you his girlfriend Y/N.

“What the fuck Oikawa?” you ask

“It is NOT what it looks like Y/N” he says standing up abruptly to approach you but you step back.

“Umm.. So it’s not my boyfriend of 3 years about to have a movie date with his manager after barely speaking to me, his GIRLFRIEND, for the past month?” you say folding you arms “ Did I get that right or am I missing something here?”

“Yes.. I mean No” he stammers “ It’s not a date at all, it’s just that Rii-chan say’s she never watched *insert your favourite movie here* and I thought it would be nice if I show it too her”

“Whatever you say ‘kawa” you say rolling your eyes, this seem to annoy Oikawa as he then sits back down harshly and says,

“God Y/N, ever since you met Rii-chan you’ve been so hostile for once can you not be a bitch! Me and her are just friends.” His aggressive tone shocks both you and him but he doesn’t seem to stop “All I'm saying is, you always wonder why me and Iwa-chan were your friends, haven’t you thought it was because you’re such a judgemental bitch”

By now you were fed up, so you turn your back to Oikawa ready to leave the room but first you say “ Oikawa, I love you I always have, but I can’t be with you anymore especially since you can’t even see what’s going on. Remember when we used to have movie dates when we were ‘just friends” Your response leaves Oikawa with his eyes wide open since he didn’t expect you to basically break up with him, he thought this was a minor argument. Before he can speak, the door burst open and in comes Ririka who exclaims “Tooru! Im ready to watch M-….oh”

“I guess I’d be taking my leave now” you say with tears in your eyes “Goodbye Oikawa this was fun”

It’s been a while since the confrontation at Oikawa’s house and the school was a buzz since after hearing the news of yours and Oikawas break up the school immediately focused their attention on both Ririka and Oikawa the rumours of them being together spread like wildfire. However, to your surprise Oikawa apparently always combated the rumours claiming that him and Ririka were just ‘good friends and will stay that way.’

But you could care less, you still supported the team going to all the games they had making sure to stay clear away Oikawa and Ririka. You don’t go to the practices anymore since you didn’t want to submerge yourself in sweat and bad vibes anymore.

Graduation came and you were very happy, you could finally get out of this place. Once you get through the ceremony and all the boring stuff you go to the gym for one final ‘goodbye’ but before you have a chance to leave you are stopped by Iwaizumi

“Hey Y/N” he says “how have you been?”

“I’ve been good, pretty ‘busy’” you respond

“Busy as in, avoiding Oikawa at every cost” he says making you laugh “Come sit down with me for a second” to which you do sitting next to him on the gym bench.

You and Iwaizumi then spend the next hour reminiscing about all your past antics and stories making you laugh and smile fondly at all the nostalgia. After all your talk you pull out your phone to take a picture and you hear Iwaizumi whisper “He never deserved you” so quietly that you almost don’t catch what he says.

Before you could respond in comes Oikawa of course panting “Y/N! Thank god you’re still hear I need to talk to you!”

You look at Iwaizumi expecting him to say something but all his does is pull you into a tight hug and says “Goodbye Y/N I’ll miss you” he gets up and exits the room shouting “Make sure to answer my calls” making you chuckle.

Oikawa approaches you and sits in the spot that Iwaizumi does, he takes a deep breath and begins to stay “Y/N, you were right I was wrong. I am an idiot... Rii- I mean Ririka she tried to kiss me. Im sorry”

“Oikawa, you are right.. You're an idiot, but it shouldn’t of had to take me breaking up with you and Ririka trying to get with you to realise that I was right. Why did you even come here to tell me this, so I knew I was right? You didn’t need to confirm my suspicions I knew all along Oikawa”

You stand up to leave, hoping to find Iwaizumi before he goes home but Oikawa stops you. “Y/N I-I want to be with you, to go back to being how we were … don’t you want that”

“Oikawa...” you grab his hands “I love you, I always have and I always will... but I think we both know we aren’t meant to be.. Things haven’t been the best with us even before Ririka came along, it just took her to make us really notice it.”

“It’s him isnt it?” he says with tears in his eyes

“I think so... maybe it’s always been him I don’t know but we know how he is especially when we were 15 I guess you just got me to me first,” you say with tears in your eyes also

Oikawa pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear “Go get him Y/N” you look at him and smile and nod you head “We will still be friends Tooru.”

You race out of the gym to look for Iwaizumi and you suddenly bump into him since he didn’t actually move he was there the whole time and it seems your indirect confession made him tear up too. “I love you Y/N” he pulls you into a hug which you return then pulls you into a deep kiss.

In the end, you and Iwaizumi do become boyfriend and gifriend still keeping Tooru as your good friend. You all also end up going to the same University and you and Iwaizumi live the rests of your lifes together as the ‘perfect’ couple with yours and Toorus relationship as a laughable memory.

AUTHORS NOTE: Please don’t hate me for this ending!! I had a bad day sooo I decided to switch things up please give me feedback on what you think !!

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyuu fluff #oikawa headcanons #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #oikawa scenarios #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi scenarios #iwazumi imagines #iwaizumi angst #signedwithane😌

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hajidumps · 2 years

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I had a shower thought that anything the White Star's ever shown affection for will die. And his addiction for being god became his downfall.

the God of Death's Vow that he was in meant everything he loves will die and love can be anything. It can be an addiction, affections, platonic, romantic. Love is a vast description and the Vow played him like a fiddle.

And the curse he inflicted in his own accord (power hungry bitch) caught that addiction and that was the cause of his own downfall.

His love for anything - something will die. And since he loves and is addicted to being a god - it killed his dreams via Cale who God of Death transmigrated to the novel

#this is a joke #a bit #trash of the count's family #cale henituse #tcf god of death #tcf white star #tcf novel #tcf spoilers #tcf manhwa #lout of the count’s family #tcf headcanon #not really a headcanon just a shower thought #what if white stars vow that everyone he lives will die also hits him #he became so narcissistic that the addiction he has for his dreams killed him #also I kinda wanna know if everyone he loves gets killed doesnt that mean that he didnt love himself hence he didnt get killed by the vow?#and just kept reincarnating hating himself more to not show any affection for himself?#this doesnt make any sense dont mind me #haji overthinks

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d0llpie · 3 years

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prompt 16 ;; in your req rules you said this was okay so i hope its fine :,) could i have oikawa, iwaizumi and tsukishima finding their s/o's fresh (or old if you prefer) sh scars? the way it ends should be fluff lol, im only asking because this would bring me comfort </3 either way i love your writing ur amazing<3

Self Harm Comfort

oikawa x reader, iwaizumi x reader, tsukkishima x reader

Warnings: self harm mention, blood mention, this topic is very triggering so please do not read if uncomfortable, i add tags that can be blacklisted for this topic !

a/n: hi love, i hope this brought you some comfort, my messages are always open, have a beautiful day <333

prompt: “i know i’m not what you signed up for”

wc: 1.9k

Oikawa

~ You hadn’t been dating Oikawa very long, he never questioned why you always wore long sleeves and honestly he didn’t think much of it

~ You were proud to say that you hadn’t self harmed since your relationship had begun, he was always doting and caring while also being fun and a distraction for you. You loved him with all your heart and knew he loved you too

~ You knew you couldn’t hide them from him forever but you didn’t realise he was coming over to surprise you, wanting to take you on a date

You’d been in your head all day, you couldn’t help it, your thoughts spiraled and you were back in that dark place you’d been so happy to be out of for so long. You hated that you resorted to this but coping this way became to familiar that before you knew it, you found yourself on the bathroom floor, blade in one hand and bloody tissues in the other. Tears were rolling down your cheeks but you stared blankly ahead of you, you didn’t feel any better, your thoughts turning to tooru, what would he think? This only made your tears come out faster, shame creeping up on you, your thoughts spiraling darker and deeper until you were stuck overthinking and rolling your sleeve higher.

You didn’t hear Oikawa open the door or walk towards the bathroom, you did hear his gasp in the door frame as he dropped to his knees in front of you, cradling you in his arms, wetting your shirt with his own tears. “Y/n, why didn’t you tell me? What happened? What are you doing?” you were too shocked to answer, scared that this was the end of your relationship and you’d be trapped again with your thoughts, alone. “i-“ you tried to speak but it came out in a choked sob and Oikawa shushed you, pulling you to sit on the edge of the bathtub while he fetched your med kit. He was silent cleaning your wounds, occasional sniffles let out which only make you overthink even more. Once he bandaged your arm you held his wrist still.

“Tooru i wanted to tell you, i hadn’t done this since before we started dating, i’ve been doing well i dont know what happened and i know i’m not what you signed up for, i’m sorry i’m really sorry it’s just-“ “you are exactly what i signed up for. I want you, all of you, i just wish you felt comfortable enough with me to tell me, this scares me y/n, i need you and i’m sorry that i was to ignorant to realise how you were feeling..” you cupped his cheek “no tooru baby you don’t need to apologise..” “you don’t need to either y/n, i’m going to help you, please tell me when you feel like this...i don’t know what to do but i’m not leaving. i’m staying right beside you okay?” you nodded, tearing up again and burying your face in his chest “why are you crying my love?” you lifted your head, pressing your lips against his slowly “i love you tooru, i’m s-“ “don’t you dare apologise, i love you too.” you giggled softly, sniffling before returning back to his chest.

“C’mon y/n, let’s watch your favourite movie and i’ll let you braid my hair to distract you hmm?” you smiled up at him, you both looked a mess, red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks but you were there in each other’s arms, safe and in love.

Iwaizumi

~ Iwaizumis love language was touch, it reassured him to feel you against him and showed you how much he loved you when he would absentmindedly trace patterns on your skin

~ He always had to have some form of physical contact with you, holding pinkies in crowded spaces, holding your hips while talking to people

~ It shouldn’t have surprised you that he’d eventually feel them

He’d had a long day, the team wasn’t listening to him and all he wanted to do was come home and fall asleep on your chest while you played with his hair. He hated staying late training the team but he knew you were going to be there tonight, waiting for him to come home. It was so domestic, coming back to see you in his apartment, wearing one of his hoodies and a pair of his boxers, the thought kept him going throughout the day and drive home.

Iwa was coming come home late again so you decided to take a shower and head to bed, you got out of the shower, towel wrapped around your body as you made your way into the bedroom to grab one of iwas hoodies. Iwaizumi walked into the bedroom to see you in just a towel, he smiled at you and wrapped his arms around you, breathing in deeply. You froze underneath him, did he see? would he think you were weak? disgusting? you tried calming your breathing but Iwaizumi obviously noticed your state and stepped back, running his hands over your shoulders and down your arms “what’s wrong?” he froze when his arms reached your forearms, running his fingers over the raised flesh so he knew he wasn’t imagining it. Your breathing only sped up, your throat felt like it was constricting. “y/n...” he was angry, not at you, at himself. You’d been together for so long and he never realised? He used to find the fact that you only wore oversized hoodies adorable, seeing you drown in the material warmed his heart, now it made him sick. Did you not want him to see? Did you not trust him? Why didn’t he notice?

“Ouch Haji..” your squeak shook him out of his thoughts and he released your wrists, not realising how tight his grip was getting. He then noticed your wide eyes and shallow breaths and realised you were having a panic attack “y/n-shit. i’m so sorry here, breathe with me baby okay?” he held your hands and led your breathing until you calmed down. You changed into one of his shirts and some shorts before sitting next to him on the bed. “Baby, please tell me none of those are new.” he pulled you onto him so you were sitting on him “they aren’t, i was going to tell you i was just...ashamed? i’m not sure it’s complicated, i know i’m not what you signed up for..” he held your arm out gently, tracing the scars with his fingers before pressing your wrist against his lips. He kissed along each of your scars, mumbling how much he loved you while a few stray tears escaped his eyes.

“If you ever feel that way again, i want you to tell me first okay? I love you, you’re so strong and beautiful, you’re my home okay? i need you and i want you to be able to rely on me too.” you nodded before kissing him, smiling against his lips “thank you haji” you began playing with the hair at the nape of his neck and he nuzzled his face into your neck, picking you up and lying you down fully under the covers “you don’t have to hide them around me y’know” you hummed, playing with his hair, kissing his forehead as he peppered kisses along your jaw “goodnight haji”.

Tsukkishima

~ you don’t know what exactly led you to feeling this way again, but you were back to feeling numb, wanting more than anything to feel

~ although you knew better, you still made you way to the bathroom, blade in hand like you were on autopilot

~ you hadn’t told tsukkishima yet, too afraid of what he’d say, what he’d do. He was rarely serious as it was and you didn’t feel the need to burden him with this

Tsukkishima wasn’t dumb. He was smart, he noticed when you were uncomfortable in public and would take you out of there without you needing to express your discomfort. He noticed advertisements for that show you mentioned a few weeks ago on the back of a bus. He noticed the clothes you wore and how you fiddled with the edges of your sleeves. He noticed the empty look behind your eyes sometimes and the fake smiles you’d send his way when he asked if you were feeling okay. He hated it. He felt so powerless, he wasn’t certain but he was almost positive and he wanted to help you but he didn’t know how.

You weren’t answering your phone so Tsukki let himself inside, making his way up to your room only to see your phone on your bed but you nowhere to be found. He walked down the hallway and noticed the light on in the bathroom.

You looked up from the floor, hearing a knock on the bathroom door. “Yes? I’m in here.” your heart leapt into your throat when the door knob started rattling and you quickly sat against the door. “Y/N? move, what are you doing on the floor?” You froze at the sound of Keis voice “Kei? what are you doing here?” you tried to push harder against the door but he pushed it far enough to let himself into the bathroom. You had rolled your sleeves back down but he saw the bloodied blade on the counter. “Take off the jacket” you rolled your eyes “I’m not in the mood right now Kei” he moved towards you “y/n.” the sad tone in his voice made your lip quiver, he knew. You slowly took your jacket off and looked away from him as you started to tear up “i know i’m not what you signed up for but please-“”dumbass, why didn’t you tell me...” you looked up at him to find him staring at the cuts, you tried to speak but you couldn’t.

Tsukki moved to the medicine cabinet and took out some bandages and alcohol wipes, cleaning and dressing the wounds while you cried softly. “y/n, i’m not leaving okay? you don’t need to cry, i’m here.” you wrapped your arms around his neck and he hugged your waist, burying his nose in your hair. “Kei i’m sorry i didn’t tell you i just didn’t want you to break up with me..” “i’ve known for a while now, i’m not mad but i will be if you feel like this again and don’t tell me. I’m you boyfriend, you’re one of the few people i can stand and i’m not gonna have you thinking i don’t care okay?” you nodded at him, burying your face in his chest “i love you kei, i promise i’ll talk to you more..” he rubbed your back soothingly “good, dumbass. i love you too..”

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twatshag · 3 years

Text

"Can I ask you something?"

♤ In which haikyuu boys ask you personal questions ♤

Pairings: iwaizumi x reader, osamu x reader, kuroo x reader All gn!!

Warnings: mentions of death(not the characters), suggestive topics, mentions of daddy issues, mention of past troubles, insecurities, mentions of exs cheating, crying

Genre: fluff, slightly angsty but still fluffy.

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A/N: In honour of mental health month I wanted to write this piece to make you guys feel loved by the boys ! You are loved and cared for and as much as I hated hearing it but things WILL get better. Stay strong I want you to fight.- Kira

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Miya Osamu

You and your boyfriend were cuddling against one another in your bed it was a routine you both loved doing on your free days. Basking in each others warmth while talking about your days and what the future holds.

Osamu's laugh rang through the bedroom walls while he played with your hair. "And then she literally drops her cake right onto my laptop and it freakin' broke it!!" "Ma god angel was tha cake that hard?" "You have no idea how much I wanted to punch her for one, baking a cake that was literally so hard if I ate a rock it would've been softer and two for breaking my freaking laptop !".

Osamu chuckled once again as he kissed your forehead and you frowning because of how can he find the awful events that you've been dealing with all week funny at all.

"There there angel A don't want ya getting forehead wrinkles from frowning too hard ya know." He chuckled while poking your ticklish sides earning a slap on his hand. "Jeez I think I'd literally cry if I ever got them." Osamu smiled against your hairline as the conversation came to a halt maybe this was the right moment to ask what he's been thinking about all week he thought.

"Angel can a ask you something?". You tilted your head to look at him while he gazed right back at you while popping an eyebrow at his question "is your question going to be 'can ya help me get off?' ? Because your answer is no."

Osamu chuckled and rolled his eyes at your so bold statement just a while back in your relationship you'd be blushing profusely if he made any type of suggestive comment wondering what happened to his innocent S/o.

"Nah angel I'm serious here". Noticing his serious features you decided to nod and see what he has to say.

Gulping he decided to ask away. "What made ya believe in love again? Ya know after yer ex had cheated on ya?" Your eyes widened at his sudden question earning a worried panicked look from him. Looking around the room to avoid this awkward situation he put himself into "Y-ya dont hafta answer ya know A- a Just couldn't-" "you."

His eyes met yours with a dumb founded expression you deciding to continue on since there was no backing down now. I mean you always knew that one day he'd ask you about it but it still made you sink a bit when he did.

"I mean sure of course there would be times where you smelled different or something and I'd panic or times you got so many notifications on your phone and i'd let my past get the better of me and snoop but after 3 months of dating, you told me something that just healed everything I've been through."

You smiled at him and he looked back at you with a curious look to what his so called healing words were.

"You told me you loved me. And I know that sounds so stupid" you laughed heavily releasing the lump in your throat.

"But the way you looked at me was like an unspoken promise to never hurt me like he did." You shrugged smiling at him and burying your face against his chest.

Osamu was dumbfounded by your response sure he knew he might be the reason but confirmation doesnt make the love sick smug grin on his face and the warmth rising to it any less effective.

He held you as tight as he can. "God angel ya really know how to get a man flustered say how bout ya help me get o-" "no" "Angelllllllllllll" you scoffed at him and hit his chest. "Shut up and sleep Miya" to which he laughed at the sound of his last name even when you were upset and you addressed him by his last name he can't help but smile at how beautiful it sounded coming from you. "Yer breaking ma heart here angel don't make me take yer cuddling rights." Chuckling as your grip around him tightened and drifting off to sleep together while he played with your hair.

Making mental note to always be the one who heals you forever because you were the one who healed him too and God did he love you so much for everything that you did.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Today was your regular late night drive throughs and talks about your life while stuffing your face with fast food with your beefy athletic trainer boyfriend.

As you brought the sandwich to your mouth and took a big bite you moaned at the heavenly taste earning a chuckle from the green eyed man next to you.

"Can't believe I'm not the one who's making you moan that way but a sandwich."

You rolled your eyes at his snarky comment while stuffing your mouth with the sandwich "shushth up iwa-chanth".

"Jeez who knew romance was dead L/n and I told you stop calling me that and don't speak with a mouth full last time you did you had to clean my car seat" he laughed earning an intensive glare his way from you.

You swallowed and thought about a good come back for a second. "I wasn't the one who threw up in my cup holder was I? Iwaaa-chaaaannnn" making sure to drag the annoying nickname out just to tease him.

He rolled his eyes at you "you're such a brat, doll and you know how I can't deal with spicy food who's fault was that?" You laughed "oh shut up, you loved me for the after care you got Hajime." "I'll think about it."

Smacking his chest lightly as you both laughed into the night.

Should I ask ? I really don't want to pry. I mean it's been weeks since they've told me about it and I dont want them to feel alone maybe I shouldn't ask them iwaizumi thought to himself while staring at the sandwich in his hands. But before he could decide he was snapped back to reality by your voice "not hungry Haji?" Before he could settle on a decision the words have already come out of his mouth.

"Doll can I ask you something?" You raised an eye brow at his sudden serious tone and you nodded "of course, anything haji-baby" feeling the atmosphere turn tense you decided to pull out the favourite nick name card and he smiled nervously.

"Do you miss her?" You felt your heart sink. Your friend had gotten into an accident talking with her boyfriend while driving resulting them in a critical state which lead to them passing away. You smiled weakly.

"Yes I do.." he stared at you worried that he might've crossed a line or broke a boundary but before he could overthink you opened your mouth to speak again.

"But you know, my care taker always told me something that always stuck to me about death. They said Nobody dies before age" he frowned confusingly. "What do you mean?" He asked eager to know what your statement meant.

"It means that when a person passes away they've served their purpose and they accomplished what they wanted to on earth so they go into their next step. A life even better than what they've gotten." You gazed at him smiling of course it hurt, alot but your friend was very successful and very happy when you went to the funeral and walked up to her casket the way she lied there was a peaceful sight. Slight smile on her face despite her body being cold.

As much as it hurt saying good bye you couldn't help but smile at how happy she looked to earn peace of an even better life in the next. Leaving her pain behind her.

Iwaizumi reached to hold your hand thinking he couldn't possibly be more in love how foolish he thought.

"You're really strong you know that?" You laughed heavily squeezing his hand while a few tears slipped out of your eyes. "Its a part of life you know its just it always hurts when they leave but it makes me at ease knowing that something better is out there for them."

You looked up at your boyfriend who was tearing up in front of you exchanging silent smiles and promises to never be sad when anything happens to you both individually because at the end of the day the light at the end of the tunnel is always brighter than the start.

Kissing in the dead of night as a confirmation to what you both were thinking and agreeing to your promise. While he held you in his arms remembering to always make you feel better because even though his job was draining coming home to you and embracing you was something that always, always made him feel better. Hoping that it would be your cure as well.

Kuroo Tetsuro

"Kitten! Come help me with this!" Kuroo whined as he was trying to hang up the drawn portrait of your pet dog on the wall. Today was just a normal lazy day in the kuroo & L/n household. "Tetsu- stop whining can't you see I'm busy here" you rolled your eyes at your 6'2 pouting boyfriend who's suddenly bad at everything he can do alone knowing damn well he just uses it as an excuse to be close to you.

Despite what everyone thought of Kuroo he sure was the clingy type in fact if you got up to the bathroom during the night he'd whine about how you don't love him anymore because you left his arms.

Walking over to you trying to put the portrait into different frames you had placed on the floor deciding which one would look the best on the wall. He crouched down to your level and hugged you from behind while resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Kitten don't use that sassy tone with me I'm still your senpai chibi-chan." You giggled and rolled your eyes at his silly nickname "you know that it's been 5 years since high school right ?" He smirked at you and kissed your neck earning a whimper from you at the warm sensation. "But you're still my chibi-chan" "whatever you say captain"

you smiled at his warmth while sliding the portrait out of the frame you put it in. "Say chibi-chan, why don't you start calling me captain in bed?" You looked at him with the best deadpan expression you could make while he wiggled his eyebrows at you as a way to say 'whatcha think???' "No". You answered back.

you stood up grabbing the frame you thought fit best on the wall and he followed you like a lost puppy "oooohhh come on chibi-chan, how would that hurt? You refused to call me daddy you know!" You laughed at his annoying smug grin and rolled your eyes at his pouty face.

"I'm not calling you captain testu- besides why isn't testu enough for you? Sex is supposed to be intimate why would I call you something that I don't like thinking about." You chuckled,

but he knew better than anyone that your chuckle wasn't because you thought it was funny but because you were hiding the slight pain in your voice.

If you had anything common with kuroo it was that your home wasn't as perfect either. Your father was indeed home and he lived with you guys but if he wasn't it would've probably been for the better. And he knew about that.

"Kitten can I ask you something?" You rolled your eyes thinking this was going to be another bribe for you to call him some nick name during sexual intercourse but decided to play along. "Aye aye captain ask away." Popping the cardboard open to place the portrait inside the decided frame you heard him swallow and he opened his mouth to talk.

"Is it because of him?" You almost dropped the portrait from your hands. Grip hardening on the piece of paper in your hold.

You looked at him sadness reflecting your eyes trying to hide it behind your weak smile. You nodded. "Yeah. It is".

You didn't notice how your hand started shaking becoming angry and over rushed with every negative emotion in your body tears swelling up your eyes not noticing how your boyfriend was already by your side placing the paper you held so tightly on to the side while pulling you in to his chest and relaxing as you softened against him.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that." You sniffles against shaking your head. "No it's okay, it's just.." he placed his hand on your head tracing his thumb against your hair lightly something that always soothed you when your sad.

"I just don't want to remember him, You know and I still feel like it's my fault that he's the way he is, maybe if I-" "no."

Kuroo cut you off by lifting your chin up to look at him worry and pain plastered onto his face. How can anyone hurt you he thought.

"It's not your fault kitten, if anything he's the asshole. You didn't deserve him and his shitty behaviour if I was in his place I would've made sure to protect you even from myself."

You laughed while he wiped your tears and you leaned to his touch "you just made this sound gross testu" he chuckled and pulled you into his chest once again allowing you to hear his racing heart that only raced for you.

"guess I'm gross for making my kitten laugh while crying" you giggled wrapping your arms tightly around him, enjoying his warmth and love for a few seconds before mumbling. "Captain sounds nice.." giggling to yourself and suddenly yelping as he picked you up bridal style and kissing your lips making his way to the bedroom

"Tetsu put me down!!! We still didn't hang the portrait yet!!" He chuckled as you squirmed in his hold "nope I'm sure the portrait could wait right now I have to take this new nickname for a test drive" as he closed the door to the bedroom leaving you and your worries behind.

You knew that at the end of the day kuroo would never hurt you. Unless it's in bed but that's beside the point.. he truly loved you and while you laid in his arms that night completely bare he vowed to himself to always protect you. Even if that meant from himself.

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A/N: I hope that you guys enjoyed this piece dedicated to mental health month! Please don't ever doubt your feelings they are valid and you have every right to feel the way you feel thank you all for being the way you guys are ! Much love to everyone! Stay strong

P.S: ILL UPDATE AS SOON AS I GET MY REQUESTS OPEN!!!

- with love kira

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#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi angst #gn!reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo fluff #hq kuroo #osamu x reader #osamu fluff #osamu angst #haikyuu suggestive

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bokutosleftpinkie · 3 years

Text

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Character: Iwaizumi Hajime x sick!female reader

TW: Vomiting, blood, Leukemia (a type of blood cancer), read at own risk

Notes: PLEASE READ THE END NOTE AFTER READING STORY!! It’s a happy ending, also I’m lucky enough by never having to experience cancer and such, so I apologize if any of my writing/information is wrong. Also, I feel like this one isn’t the best, and it feels rushed, so I apologize for that too. I hope you like it :)

Requests: here and here

Iwaizumi Hajime has led a really good life.

He’s married, he’s a professional athletic trainer for Japan’s Olympic team, he’s got a nice house, great friends, and is overall so happy.

So where did that all go wrong?

Iwaizumi woke up to you getting up out of bed at around 3:00 am. You looked sweaty, unhealthy sweaty, and you had a giant nosebleed. This immediately alarmed him, and swiftly got up to help you.

“Hey, what happened? Are you okay?” He asked as he hurriedly followed you into the shared bathroom, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Haji I don’t feel good,” You wipe the blood off of your nose with a rag, then hold the cloth there to try and get it to stop bleeding.

He leaned down to look at you. You had large bags under your eyes, sweat practically dripping down your face. You looked skinnier and frail. You had tiny red spots all over your body, which definitely wasn’t normal.

You sigh, tilting your head back slightly. “I’m getting really tired of this,” you say.

Hajime is alarmed. “What? How long has this been going on?”

“About a week. I’ve been getting constant nose bleeds and I cant really sleep at night. I feel gross.”

Iwa nods and frowns. “I’m gonna set up a doctor’s appointment for you.” He opens his arms and embraces you into a hug.

He could tell something had been off about you. You hadn’t been eating enough, you looked so frail and delicate. He knew something was wrong, but he just assumed you just had a cold or something minor. But from what he just witnessed, the profusely sweating and the nosebleed on top of everything else, it alarmed him. He’s not one to overthink, normally he thinks logically, but his gut was telling him something was wrong.

The next day, Iwaizumi took you to the doctor. You slept the whole way there, leaving him alone to his own demise. He held your hand the whole way. Iwa filled out the paperwork in the waiting room while you took care of another nosebleed.

You were running a fever in the room, and after seeing all your symptoms, the doctor sent you to a hospital for tests. Iwaizumi felt like throwing up. He hoped it wouldn’t be anything serious, but he was proven wrong.

The tests came back. You had Leukemia. Although you had a good chance of surviving, Iwaizumi’s world still caved in. The moment he heard the news, his heart shattered. He could hear his heartbeat, feel it on every inch of his body.

From that day forward, you reassured him that everything would be alright. That you were getting better. That the two of you would have a happy ending. And he tried so hard to believe it. But every day spent in the hospital, every night you lay awake because you can’t sleep, every fever and cough felt like his soul was being torn into pieces. It hurt, hurt him so much.

…

Months had passed and you had been getting better. You had lost your hair, you were skinny, and you had been under radiation, but the cancer was going away. Iwa supported you and was with you every step of the way. He was so proud of you, staying strong through it all. You were strong when he wasn’t.

It was time for your last radiation treatment. Iwa held your hand as you got ready. He felt like he needed to say something, anything, to let you know he loved you.

“Hey…” he looked at you. You stared up at him while sitting on the hospital bed. “I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around, you know that?”

You smiled. “I love you Haji. More than anything. Thank you for being here with me.”

As you two conversed and expressed your love, the doctor came in, telling you it was time.

Hajime watched you leave the room, giving him one last loving glance as you did so. He waited and waited, bouncing his leg nervously and sweating. You had been in there longer than usual. What if something happened?

Maybe he should go check on you. Maybe something happened. He stood up to walk to the desk when you were wheeled out of the hospital wing, a giant smile on your face.

“Hi Haji.”

This was extremely rushed, I’m so sorry. With school and work and such, it’s been tough trying to find time to sit down and actually write. Maybe in the future I’ll come back and rewrite it. But for now, here’s the angst you have been asking for

#haikyū!!#iwaizumi #iwazumi scenarios #iwazumi headcanons #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaoi #iwaizumi fluff #x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#aoba johsai #seijoh #seijoh iwazumi

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redheadedpineapple · 3 years

Text

Sunrise

Day 14: Sunrise Iwaizumi Hajime GN!Reader angst, cheating

staying up for you boi, but he doesn’t step near home until he utterly destroys it

warning : like the first time i've written angst shhhhhhhh

_______

You were really excited for Haji to come home. Since you don’t have work tomorrow because of a flood in the kitchen of the restaurant, you get to stay up late. The two of you hardly ever see each other---even on the weekends, he’s been going out with Da Bois™ to hang out. Plus, he’s been coming home later and leaving earlier, and sometimes you wonder when he even has time to sleep. Especially if he’s getting home past midnight. Surely it’s not a nightly occurrence, his staying out so late?

Maybe he’s just busy. You know he works hard, it’s completely possible he just… needed some extra time to get the boys ready for the game. The… practice game. In a week. Reluctant sighs are pulled from your belly. Deep breaths in, to calm your mind, and deep breaths out, to try and rid of that curse of a feeling, disappointment.

Still, maybe he’s just bunking at one of the guys’ places for the night and his phone died; god knows Haji’s stubborn ass refuses to get a new phone until his breaks, even if it is old and doesn't match anyone else’s charger. Maybe he doesn’t know your number by heart---fuck if you know his. You hardly know yours, to be honest.

And maybe he forgot his charger he keeps in his glove box, even though he never takes it out. Maybe he just got a ride with one of the guys, even though he could’ve still gotten his charger before leaving.

And maybe the boys just didn’t think to text you, even though you know all of them pretty well and have for years.

A gut feeling told you it wasn’t just overthinking, but you blamed it on eating too much for dinner 5 hours ago. So you made yourself some tea to try and fall asleep. 6 hours later and here you are, just as awake as before and double the thoughts.

You rest your head on your folded arms, gazing out the window.

It’s a beautiful sight, the sun’s rays brushing over the streets and buildings and cars, all of which having the same chipped paint quality to them. You wonder if you’re just an old thing, too. Chipped away and dirty. But maybe you don’t get a fresh coat of paint. Maybe that’s what separates toys from necessities.

Your phone vibrating against the table nearly goes undetected, but you catch it just as your phone screen turns off.

“Haji!”

You can’t help but vocalise your excitement. Tired, shaky hands scramble to get your phone on and upright. Shoyo---bless his sunshine soul---asks if Haji got home safely, to which you replied he didn’t come home at all. The three dots appear to signal his typing, and you can only imagine him freaking out, considering all of the horrible things that could’ve happened to him. Energetic, that one.

OH NO, HE WENT WITH MISS. SECRETARY LAST NIGHT SINCE HE SAID HE WAS TOO TIRED TO DRIVE, WHAT IF SHE KIDNAPPED HIM AND NOW HE’S LOCKED IN HER BASEBALL

BASEMENT*

You laugh bitterly, convincing yourself you were simply trying to appease Hinata from a distance and not as a means of understanding exactly what’s going on.

When he comes back home, he doesn’t look you in the eyes after noticing the heavy bags beneath them. He starts a long winded explanation, one you can tell he’s rehearsed for a while, only adding salt to the wound that this isn’t just a one-time fling.

He’s trying to break up with you. He’s trying to give an explanation. Fuck that. He doesn’t get to waltz into your life, be all lovey dovey with you, then take a hammer to your heart and act like it’s all good.

“Shut up! Just, please, stop talking. You didn’t just find someone else. No, you found someone else, fell out of love with me, and fell in love with them. Don’t pretend like this was a long time coming for both of us, I was still in love with you. I am still in love with you, Haj-” You look away. “Iwaizumi.”

It stings him more than he thought it would.

“I’ll pack my things later, whenever you’re not home. Until then, I’m going to stay at Shoyo’s. Please let me know when you’re gone.”

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #haijime x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq #hq x reader #x reader #angst #haikyuu angst

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yuasakura · 3 years

Text

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧

☆» Iwaizumi Hajime x fem ! reader ☆» Fluff / Comfort ☆» Cringe / Lame ☆» Errors ahead !! ☆» Warnings: too much sugar !! ☆» Reblogs are much appreciated !!

✿❀ masterlist !! ❀✿

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

<33

Being pregnant is hard especially if you have the most sweet, caring, handsome, and buff husband.

Its currently 12 am and your husband is peacefully sleeping while back-hugging you, but you are still awake and covering your mouth to stifle your sobs that might wake up your husband.

You're having breakdowns because of the anxiety and insecurity that you are feeling because you're so scared that your husband might leave you and find another woman who is more beautiful and sexier than you. You arent really that insecure of your body, it just happened that you are pregnant and your belly is big and scared that after pregnancy, your body wouldn't look like before.

You couldnt take it and you are already having a hard time breathing, you decided to go to the bathroom and release it there but before you can even get down on the bed, you felt a pair of strong arms pulling you. "Haji! I thought you're already asleep" you shockingly said when he pulled you on your waist towards him, "How can i sleep if i can hear my beautiful wife sobbing?" you were astounded when you heard that especially when he called you 'beautiful'. "Sorry for waking you up..." you said while looking down with gloomy eyes, "Hmm, overthinking again about what if i left you to find a sexier woman?" you couldn't look him in the eyes when you heard what he said because he guessed it right. He cupped your cheeks for you to look at him, "Look darling, i will never leave you just because you look like this, okay? I fell for your looks but your personality made it deeper and ended up you being my wife. I will never leave you, i was the one who made you pregnant and i love that, having family with you. You're a brave woman darling, you're the one who is carrying our little hajime and little y/n" he stated then he kissed your tummy, "hey there little one, can you please tell your mom that i'll never leave her and i love her since the day that she became our manager. I love her and no other woman's appearance can ever change that" he added while talking to the fetus inside you.

The sight of it makes you smile, he pulled you and made you sit on his lap while leaning your head on his broad shoulder and while caressing your hair. "I love you darling no matter how you look, thank you for being brave and a beautiful loving wife and mother" he said and kissed your forehead.

"I love you, Hajime" you said while starting at his eyes.

"I love you more IWAIZUMI Y/n" he said and emphasized his last name which made you chuckle.

He kissed you on your lips and cuddled with him as you fall asleep in his strong arms. "I love you and only you with our daughter" he whispered and kissed you on your forehead as you drifted off to sleep.

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vv3nti · 3 years

Text

warnings: swear words, MINUSCULE suggestive content, NOT proofread at all :)

The striking knock on your car door caused you to jump into your seat belt, dropping your phone in between your seat and the middle compartment in the process. Your head snapped to the pane as another round of knocks started.

“What the fuck, Haji!” You exclaimed, hand lying over your racing heart. “You scared me, asshole!”

You could hear his laughter as he rounded the car, bright teeth shining through his smile, making it challenging to stay mad at him; for starters, he disrupted your pouting session, and you’re upset he allowed Oikawa to your reunion. And even as much as you despised the arrogant third year, you love Hajime a lot more.

As his fingers pressed against the cold passenger door handle, you quickly locked your car. Finally, your turn to giggle, watching him tug on the sturdy handle. A heavy sense of nostalgia-filled your being; you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this comfortable and familiar since you left Seijoh. As much as you loved your new life in Nekoma, you couldn’t help the heavy pit you felt whenever your past resurfaced.

You pushed the saddened thoughts aside, finally allowing the boy into the car. Hajime still had a slight grin on his lips as he got situated, but it soon fell as he took your trivial glance.

“You’re overthinking,” Hajime said conclusively, as though it was a command to stop the flow of intrusive thoughts. He wished it worked that way, a way he could rob you of your suffering for good. Hajime liked to consider himself an optimist, but even he knew the severity of the situation. And despite the stunt he pulled today, Hajime also knew he couldn’t throw both of you in a cockpit and hope for the best. There’s part of him that blames himself for your fallout; he should have caught it faster, put an end to things before they proceeded too far, But he didn’t—how could he? Hajime was supposed to be the backbone, but he couldn’t support the structure, and he’ll be forever regretful. Maybe it was easier to blame himself than demonize one of his friends. Or maybe, it soothed his consciousness when imagining his future. Whatever the reason, the guilt wouldn’t go away.

Your head whipped to the side, eyes rolling in tow. “Yeah, well, I don’t have much else to do. Let alone know what to do.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“To be honest, I don’t really know,” You huffed, clicking your tongue against the roof of your much searching for the words. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I can’t do anything other than dwell and over calculate. Brainstorm tactics I should have used or things I shouldn’t have said. I’m never going to confront Oikawa; it’s done—over with. So I just-”

“Think about what you could have done better to avoid it,” Hajime said, eyes cast down towards the sandy car mats. He’s no stranger to the feeling. Hesitation coursed his veins; frantically, his knee bounced as he reached your teary stare. That overwhelming persona of guilt clouded his airways, Iwa’s breath almost as shallow as your own. “I’m really sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I can’t even begin to formulate an excuse for my actions. Letting him join us should have never been an option. You’re rubbing off on me. Usually, you’re the one to make the stupid decisions.”

Your face scrunched in amusement while stray tears depart from your ducts. “Yeah, that was pretty idiotic, especially for you. But you always tell me even the best of us make mistakes.”

Admiring your smile, Hajime unthinkingly glides his palm along the top of your head, smoothing the hair in its wake. “Yeah, I do, don’t I?” His attention had shifted, and his voice hardly present. In the future, he’d attempt to explain it as a lapse of judgment or a moment of weakness, but in the now, nothing seemed more apparent. A chill floods in the car as his lips match yours. All sorrow flows away, and shock takes the reigns.

The fervor of the kiss pulled you from the dark vehicle and into a vast pasture of coneflowers. The beating sun and soft breeze ignited a euphoric haze in your head, stretching down to the tips of your toes. You felt the crisp grass blades beneath your feet, poking into your soles and between your toes. The impressions only lured you closer to the heart of the meadow, a plateau filled with a plethora of fiercely pigmented flowers. And there waiting for you, in the midst of it all, was Hajime. He was in his school uniform, and his hair was messier than usual, tousled by the wind. The same smug grin adorned his lips as his fingers extended towards your figure. Attempting to reach for the boy proved to be a struggle. A strong resistance held you firmly in place. You tried again. And again. And again. Finally, whatever invisible force retraining force held you in place snapped, catapulting you to the ground. You braced for the impact of the plush terrain, but much to your dismay, your descent didn’t stop with the dirt—you kept falling down, down, down into a black abyss. Until—HONK!

The loud noise snapped you back to reality, and you’re once again in the chilly dark car staring at a wide-eyed ace. And while everything came rushing back, you couldn’t help but back release a buoyant laugh until tears filled your eyes. Hajime joined in as he realized your laughter dripped with amusement and not sadness.

Yet again, Iwaizumi Hajime shinned an angelic light on you, successfully pulling you from another episode of self-pity. And like always, he’s still a positive constant in your life.

Well, at least for now.

! Love Club </3 part five: what a surprising turn of events

prev ⇠ masterlist ⇢ next

! facts

um just take my advice & cherish it now 😏

iwa knew where to find y/n cuz way back when you, oikawa, and iwa found a peaceful secludedhill that has a perfectly clear view of the stars

———

a/n: IM SOOO SORRY THIS IS SOOOO LATE- i started this like a week or two ago but i lost all motivation to finish this chapter UGH IM SORRY!!! i might do some double post on some days :(( but i hope you all enjoy

comments and reblogs are much appreciation

taglist: (OPEN) @90s-belladonna @daphnxy @just-that-bi-girl @felixsamour @mus1caln0tes @sunoyaxo @tia827 @meiankolia @sharin-gone @allhailthewxtcher @chantalkate16 @wild-strawberry-fields

#! love club </3 #haikyuu smau #oikawa toru x reader #akaashi smau #akaashi x reader #iwaizumi smau #bokuto smau #oikawa smau #iwaizumi x reader #hq angst #hq smau #haikyuu angst #bokuto x reader #kenma x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff

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admiringlove · 3 years

Text

愛してる: 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏.

— we invite you to celebrate the brewery’s first valentines’ day, with freshly brewed sweet drinks, to honor the day dedicated to love. click for valentines’ day special menu!

↳ 青葉城西高校 — seijoh. presenting: oikawa tōru, iwaizumi hajime, mattsukawa issei.

credits for image @ roarzoro on twitter.

oikawa tōru

oikawa tōru is the sun. he is the center of all beings, and he feels as if the world revolves around him. the fangirls are the planets, circling him whenever they see him. the whole school knows oikawa, because he is the core of attention at any given time.

but you? you don't seem interested in the sun one bit. you like the ocean instead—finding the vast depths of the sea more intriguing than the deep, blue sky.

and what does oikawa want? the one thing he can't have. you.

you start noticing him more. he greets you every morning(the fangirls stare at you creepily, but you just ignore them), talks to you during lunch, and even sometimes asks you to come watch his volleyball practice.

but his expression just becomes distasteful when you decline him. why was oikawa interested in you? he had hoards of boys and girls who yearned for him more than anything else, so why you?

you notice him more—honestly, you don't mind him flying around you mindlessly like a bee. it just annoys you at how attractive he is. you don't know what his intentions are(after all, they can be ill), and you're scared.

but he doesn't give you a reason to be today.

"oikawa," you huff, "stop following me, you creep."

"b-but [y/n]-chan!!" he pouts, shoving his hands inside his pockets as he catches up to you. you roll your eyes, grunting as you say, "that was the fakest stutter ever. why do all those people in our school like your dumbass, anyway, trashykawa?"

"you sound just like iwa-chan," he murmurs under his breath as you turn a sharp right, walking into a coffee shop to do your homework. he smiles victoriously when you choose a two-seat table instead of the barstool that was free, sitting in front of you almost immediately.

"well, iwa and i share a very mutual hate for you," you joke as you give your order to the waiter who comes by. oikawa winks at the girl, giving her his order as well, "one milk-bread and chocolate milkshake please."

"and may i ask why you followed me into a coffee shop you've never been to before?" you questioned, pulling out your physics textbook as he smiles at you saying, "i like being around you, [y/n]-chan. you just never talk to me about anything."

"fine, what do you want to talk about?"

"you," he smirks, "tell me about yourself, for real this time. no jokes."

you sigh, placing your pencil down to look at his face for the first time today. this time, you actually pay attention to his features. his soft chocolate brown eyes, his slender long nose, and those pink lips. you shook yourself off when he said, "hobbies, [y/n]-chan?"

"reading," you mumble, "i like reading."

the waiter comes back with your coffee and his drink and snack, placing it in front of you as oikawa thanks her. he turns back to you, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"remind me to write down 'library date' the next time we go out," he says, leaning his elbow on the table and placing his knuckles on his cheek. you scoff, "you follow me around and call it a date. you're basically a stalker, trashykawa."

"okay, okay, fine! what if i ask you out on an actual date? we can talk about books, maybe get coffee, and- ooh! what about the movies? we can even go to tokyo if you'd like! it's not that far by train, you know," he daydreams. you scoff for the second time in that coffee shop, your eyes narrowed as you ask, "and what makes you think you can ask me out on an actual date?"

"if you haven't noticed, [y/n]-chan," oikawa shrugs, taking a sip of his chocolate milk, "i like you very much. and not as friends, god no, i wanna take you out and make you happy."

iwaizumi hajime

iwaizumi is closed off—according to oikawa, but you don't believe that one bit.

"oh come on, [y/n]-chan, he likes you, i swear!"

but you know better than to assume things about hajime, so you shrug oikawa off, leaving the gym to go home. you see hajime waiting for you, and you wave at him happily. he smiles, bringing a hand up awkwardly, but he puts it down as soon as he hears oikawa's voice behind you.

"iwa-chan!! guess what, [y/n]-chan's walking home with us tonight!"

hajime sighs, looking away(because this boy is as clueless as you). he shrugs, telling you two that he has something to attend to. but you know that he's probably going to overthink when he's by himself.

you and oikawa share a knowing look, as he says, "tell me everything through text when you reach home."

"haji!" you yell, running up to the boy walking ahead. his hands are stuffed into his track pants, and he turns back half-way. he gives you a half-smile, slowing his pace(but not stopping).

"haji, stop!" you grab his wrist, turning him around. he's raising an eyebrow at you, looking at you impatiently as you say, "why're you going home alone, iwa? do you not want to come with me and stupidkawa?"

"i told you to go with him, didn't i? why are you followin' me around?" he scoffs, looking away and continuing walking at his normal pace. you furrow your eyebrows, your lips slightly parted as you say, "hey, what is that supposed to mean?"

"you're always circling around him. can't you go home with him too?" he grunts. you blink rapidly, the information processing in your head as you begin to laugh.

iwaizumi looks back, his eyes narrowed and lips twisted into a scowl, "why are you laughing like a maniac?"

"because, you dumbass, you think i like that loser," you huff, walking up to him as you pant(your stomach is hurting from laughing at this point). you ruffle the ace's hair, chuckling, "i can't believe you haven't figured it out already. everyone thought i was being obvious."

"if you're implying what i think you are, i feel the same way, you know."

"is that why you were jealous of trashykawa?"

"aight, we're never talking about that ever again."

mattsukawa issei

mattsun isn't really that... interested in things. he picks something up, fiddles with it for sometime, and then throws it away.

but with his love life, everything is different. he rarely ever dates. and it's never too serious. so when his feelings for you start waltzing in, it's a first.

he hasn't felt this kind of high before. it's scary, because mattsukawa issei has never yearned for someone as much as he yearns for you. his eyes are always looking for you. and when they do land on you, an instant smile creeps onto his face.

oikawa and hanamaki always tease him, but he's learned to push past that at this point. he's brushing them off constantly, learning to ignore the "eyy" that makki lets out whenever you walk into the room.

mattsun learns to love you bit by bit. his love is the awkward stares, the panic rising in his throat as he feels that he's been smiling for way too long, the shaking his thoughts off when you snap your fingers in front of his face, or the coincidental nightly trips that he always finds himself looking forward to.

the same thing happens tonight as well.

"why do i always find you outside this convenience store at 10 pm on a saturday night?" mattsukawa chuckles, sitting down next to you on the curb. you take a spoonful of the ice-cream you're eating, and you throw him a smile, "i have a routine. you show up around the same time too, so you can't exactly ask me that question, issei."

"i know," he sits down, opening the soda bottle and gulping down its contents rather quickly.

"woah, calm down or you'll choke," you chuckle, throwing your small ice-cream cup into the trash a couple feet away. you triumphantly smile when the cup falls into the can, and turn back to face issei.

issei, who's only a couple of inches away from your face. issei, who's been in love with you ever since he can recall. issei, whom you love back with just as much intensity—if not, more.

"issei, i'm gonna do something. please don't hate me, okay?" you whisper. he nods, smiling, as he begins, "i could never hate you, baby."

you lean in, pressing your lips on his softly as he kisses you back. he's scared too, that's why he isn't holding onto you tightly or is placing too much pressure into it.

and just like that, the night of february thirteenth forever becomes embedded into your lives.

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haikyuuties-xo · 3 years

Text

Ground Zero - Oikawa Tohru

a short story about an overlooked part of Oikawa's life.

i see a lot of myself in Oikawa and maybe that's what compelled me to write this.

this is actually based off of my own experience with different circumstances so i promise this isn't too unrealistic haha

TW: depression, hospitals, seizure, self-harm

oikawa tohru. crowd favorite, ladies man, and, of course, superb athlete.

he was a hard worker, that's what turned raw talents into honed skills.

yet few knew the dangerous way he toed against the line.

sirens faintly blare in the background as iwaizumi runs as fast as his legs can carry him. fuck, fuck, fuck. not again.

oikawa always overdid it, pushing himself further than anyone should. no matter the coaxing — "even olympic athletes need their breaks", "come on, it's not like your gonna go pro, right?", "dude, you've been at this for hours!" — oikawa never stopped working.

oikawa was the top of his class in academics and popularity. on the outside he appeared so care free and easy-going — like he didn't have a care in the world. iwaizumi knew better. he knew well the calculating, cold and domineering personality that lay beneath the faux exterior. it didn't take long for the rest of the team to realize the same thing.

the sirens grew louder as iwaizumi neared the aoba johsai gymnasium. quickly sliding the familiar back door, his shoes squeaked beneath him as he rushed up to his teammate lying unresponsive on the cold gym floor.

"dammit, shittykawa, you already fucked up your knee and now look."

beads of sweat coated oikawa's forehead, his strained expression remained.

paramedics arrived quickly after, supporting oikawa's body along with iwaizumi in order to properly transport him to the Miyagi Prefecture Hospital.

hospitalizations were not unfamiliar to iwaizumi, all thanks to his best friend.

upon their quick arrival, the ever-familiar smell of hand sanitizer, disinfectant, and old people filled iwaizumi's nose.

"god i fucking hate hospitals."

iwaizumi never got used to the smell, just like how he never got used to the anxiety that pitted in his stomach when he'd sit inside the hospital room while Oikawa remained stable, but unconscious.

after what felt like an eternity, oikawa's eyes fluttered open. Oikawa sighed in recognition.

"you've got to stop doing this to yourself, tohru."

"i know. they don't want broken athletes—"

"nOT JUST THAT YOU DUMB FUCK YOU HAVE A LIFE THAT'S WORTH LIVING FOR MORE THAN JUST A FUCKING SPORT."

"you want this as much as me."

"yeah, but not enough to damage myself forever! this is the 17th time you've collapsed and your 5th hospitalization. first the knee, fainting spells — which, by the way, you're so fucking lucky this is all this shit is — anemia attacks, starvation, the list goes on."

Oikawa looked down, his tired eyes staring at the crisp, white, linen sheet. he stood up, being sure to do so slowly, before ringing for an attendant. within seconds, a nurse rushed in asking, "anything i can help you with, sweetheart? could i get you some ginger ale for this medication I'm gonna give you?"

"water's fine, thanks. actually, i was wondering how fast i can leave."

"we're going to have a quick run-by with our neurologist just to make sure there isn't any head trauma from when you fainted and then you should be good to go."

Oikawa nodded, thanking her again before sitting down again in his hospital bed.

"what am I supposed to tell the team, Hajime..."

"tell them the truth — that you overdid it again. they're not blind, ya know."

oikawa didn't reply, thankful that the nurse who quickly placed the meds and bottle of water down served as a proper distraction. downing a bit of water, Oikawa coughed before swallowing the pills. clicking the button again, Oikawa paged the nursing staff.

she popped in once again with a smile, "all set with the meds? great. I'll see about that neurologist." she left once more.

"you sure are an inpatient asshole."

oikawa laughed, "that might be a new one." yet, when he'd laughed, he felt a straight in one of his muscles, like a vein was stretched. suddenly, black spots began to overtake his vision — oikawa's familiar warning that he was set on a path to another fainting spell if he didn't lie down. as inconspicuously as possible, he laid back down.

"I guess I'll try to get some sleep." Oikawa said, though both he and iwaizumi knew of Oikawa's insomniac tendencies.

Oikawa awoke from blackness to the bright lights of his hospital room and a twange of pain in his mouth.

"wow, i can't believe i fell asleep."

panic set in as soon as he spoke. he looked down and in his nose was an air tube, on his chest were heart rate monitors, and at the elbow of his veiny arm was an IV jabbed into his vein. the cords were tied to the hospital bed, making him feel like a prisoner. he began to struggle, trying to pull some of the cords that seemed as chains, the beeping of his heart rate monitor furthering his anxiety, bringing back flashbacks of his knee displacement.

iwaizumi quickly stirred from his concentration — he hadn't sleep, but seemed to have been deeply absorbed in thought.

"HEY! hey, shittykawa, stop it! STOP IT!" iwaizumi made a grab for oikawa's arms, steading him as oikawa's labored breathing began to slow.

"haji, what the fuck. what is all this shit on me. i was supposed to go home...", he glanced at the clock, "5 hours ago!"

"Oikawa, stop it. Just stop."

"Why should I? this is all so unnecessary, i just fainted for gods sake!"

"Oikawa."

at last, Oikawa made eye contact with the solemn and tortured eyes of iwaizumi.

"Oikawa, you had a seizure."

Oikawa's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, then into anger, then complete and udder sorrow.

"tohru, hey, it's okay. they think it was just a stress seizure. still, you had me fucking screaming at one point there."

"what....what was i like?"

iwaizumi pondered for a moment, looking away.

"well, first, all your limbs rose up together while you stared all creepy-like, like a robot. then, you lowered them and started shaking all over, foaming at the mouth — but your spit was red."

"i think i bit my tongue, it fucking hurts."

"well, you're not leaving either way."

"yes i am."

"no you're not."

"yes i am."

"no you're not."

"yes i am"

"i override the captain as he is no longer in the proper mental state to be commanding orders."

"you can't do that!" Oikawa immediately tried to stand to defend his honor, but quickly regretted it. pain shot up to his head, right behind his eyes. he couldn't hide the wince in pain.

"Tohru, this is good for you. don't think i didn't notice your cuts. when did you relapse? wait, don't tell me. you don't have to. the point is, you need to reach out for help — there's so many people here who are ready to give it."

"Haji, all i am is a fucking burden. trust me, I've taken much more than I've given."

iwaizumi bit the inside of his cheek, beginning to overthink his own choices.

"hey, if it's cuz of what i said about you being shitty—"

"it's not that. iwaizumi, look around. I'm in the fucking hospital, ruining your Saturday night, ruining our chances at the championships, ruining everything. like i always do. i always fuck everything up. i always think if i try a little harder than I'll be good enough. then i always end back up at ground zero."

iwaizumi sighed. "you're the only guy who can look at all what you've accomplished and see it as a fucking zero."

"you mean, the only guy who can see things realistically."

"Oikawa, you deserve more than what your brain tells you you deserve."

oikawa's vision blurred, his resolve crumpling. it still didn't feel right. iwaizumi is wrong. wrong, wrong, WRONG. I don't deserve shit. i haven't earned it. his chin began to wobble as iwaizumi engulfed him in a tight hug.

"Oikawa, it might not feel like it now, but i promise some day it will."

oikawa nodded, not believing it himself, but holding onto the hope that some day he would.

writing this was very therapeutic to me. upon rereading it later, I've realized that i find the interactions between iwa and oikawa are quite similar to some of the conversations I've had with myself. please know that no matter what you're going through, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

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