#happy 10 years since james stole my heart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

srchng4answrs · 3 years

Text

Absolution of sin isn’t easy. Every year in my Catholic high school they would bring in priests to listen to our confessions. We would sit in the auditorium an empty chair in between each person and one by one walk to the back of the auditorium where a man in vestments would sit ready to tell us that we are still God’s children. I never went.

“Before religion” isn’t a concept that exists for me. This is strange for many reasons, the primary being that my family is not religious in the slightest. We went to church out of obligation every Christmas and Easter, and stopped following that tradition when I was in 4th grade. I don't know what my mother thought I would gain from going to a religious school for 10 years.

Catholicism is the particular sect of Christianity that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to reconcile with. The preaching of love and tolerance. The acts of service and the good deeds. Is it still a good deed if you’re doing it for personal gain?

Defender of Mankind. In Ancient Greek that's what the name Alexandria means. That's what My name means. I learned that at church. It’s ironic, the places that tell you you are meant to defend, are the same ones attacking. I wasn’t equipped to defend myself from the teachings of a group that I thought had my best interest at heart.

Eulogies in religious services are often delivered by the clergy member who is officiating the service. A religious eulogy will focus on the role of God and faith in the life of the person who died, rather than any secular accomplishments. I often write eulogies for people in my head. I have never once written something religious.

Father Sean was an odd man. Nothing against him but I wish he would stop sending me friend requests on Facebook.

Gabriel is a Hebrew name meaning “God is my strength”. He told Mary to not be afraid, but he was also the angel sent to destroy Jerusalem. Which one of those is real strength.

Half human, half divine. The manifestation of God in the flesh. How terrible it must’ve been to be crucified for telling the truth. To be needlessly slaughtered for the sake of people that want to see your organs fail as you slowly suffocate and bleed out. Father forgive them they do not know what they are doing.

I often wish I understood. I want to be able to walk into a church and feel god. I want to wear my Kairos cross without feeling like a liar. I don’t think religion was meant for people like me.

Jesus was not white. He didn’t have long flowing hair or a long beard. He was shorter than we think. Is it more disrespectful to put someone on a cross or to purposefully make their physical appearance more palatable for a racist audience.

Kairos may have been the closest I’ve ever been to experiencing god. For three days you sit in small groups and listen to people talk about their most traumatic experiences. Religious retreats are made to break you. To make you flood the earth with your tears. To make you turn to god because there’s no one else to turn to. I wish I could say with any level of certainty that my experience was real.

Love is such a funny idea. God “Loves” you. I still don’t understand the double standard of preaching love and then telling people they love wrong. I think there are bigger sins to worry about.

Matthew was a tax collector. One of the most sinful professions they lied, cheated, and stole from the poor. The Lord will not let the righteous go hungry, but will thwart the cravings of the wicked. I find “sinners” much more real than the righteous. At least sinners don’t go out of their way to tell everyone they sin.

No one in my philosophy of god class chose to walk away from Omelas. I remember it perfectly. You get to stay in a perfect city where everyone is happy, at the misfortune of one child. I spoke last. I would walk away. I still get chills thinking about it. I don't know why I made that choice.

Often my friends and I debate the existence of god. One philosopher said that you might as well because if you believe and god is real you gain everything, and if he isn't you lose nothing. But if you don't and he is real, you lose everything. We all know there's much more to religion than that. Simply believing in the omnipotent power that destroyed cities and flooded the earth has not, and will never be enough.

Prom was one of the most nerve wracking experiences of my life. I was the first person since my schools founding in 1957 to go to prom with someone of the same sex. That year three of my friends did the same. So much easier to just split the bill with a friend. I had to make a case for why I should be able to. Would the outcome have been different if I told them we were dating.

Questioning whether the omnipotent and all knowing being in the heavens that we cannot see, hear, smell, or touch is apparently against the rules. I got quite sick of the Lord’s Prayer.

Raining from the sky was blood. Thicker than water. Did it bring the people together or did it turn them against each other. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Blood can bring people together, but I’m not sure it can wash you clean.

Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by sulfur and fire because of their wickedness. The two cities associated with homosexuality were burned to the ground. We have a history with fire. Fire cannot cleanse what isn’t dirty, but the ash will stain your hands for eternity.

Time stands still as I sit in the pews at my cousin's wedding. It seems like the hands on the clock are moving backwards. Instead of looking at them I stare at the sculpture of Jesus, crucified, blood coming out of his wounds, hanging roughly 10 feet above them. It isn’t alive. I’ve seen the same type of sculpture in a hundred different churches. But in this moment I can hear him gasping for breath. It was a beautiful service, I told her.

Uriel is the angel of repentance. In the Christian text the Apocalypse of Peter he is as pitiless as any demon. The devil himself was once an angel. What's the difference between angels and demons other than name.

Vanity was the reason the devil was cast from heaven. Born an angel and a king, free from sin he became proud of his beauty and intelligence and was struck down by God. I’m still unsure why he is considered the villain. Was it not God who leveled cities and murdered millions.

Without religion I’m unsure of what my life would look like. As hard as I try I cannot cleanly separate myself from it. Like a mouse stuck on a trap, when it gets free it either leaves its skin on the trap, or escapes covered in glue. I’m unsure if I can escape without leaving a part of myself behind, or taking something with me I did not ask for.

X appears 1,436 times in the King James version of the bible, but never at the start of the word. It is the only letter in the english alphabet that a verse does not start with.

Younger me used to enjoy church. I’m not sure why. I could never sit still, the sermons were boring, the pews were uncomfortable, and I couldn’t wait to go home. But without fail every Sunday I would wake up and get ready. I wish I could go back and tell myself that I don’t need to force myself into places I know I don't belong in order to be loved.

Zion shall be redeemed with judgment. I wonder if the same applies to me.

13 notes · View notes

queerchoicesblog · 3 years

Text

The Movie Party (SC Titanic, Zetta x Adele Series, Ch. 17)

So, folks, the SC Titanic Zetta x Adele Series has come to an end: this is the final chapter. It’s time for Zetta and Adele to have a reunion at last.

I want to thank all those who supported this crazy project of mine. This series has been quite important and will somehow still be, even if the original story is no longer available and it’s the end. But I will be grateful to the authors who crafted it: it was one of the few times I felt truly seen as represented as a wlw in a game.

You must forgive me if this chapter will be a bit longer but I wanted to bid a farewell to the various characters who made this story one hard to forget. It’s the finale: you either go big or go home, right? And you will find the explanation of the title of the series, if you haven’t figured it out already...

Little disclaimer-favor: especially since the tags don’t seem to be working anymore, if you do enjoy it, please consider supporting the author & sharing this. A little gesture that means a lot!

Stay tuned next week for the Epilogue!

Zetta x Adele Tag: @storyscaped @storyscapefanficarchive @marmolady @animus-and-anima @hayley-carter19 @escako @everlastingchoices @indescribablechoices @ahrielstuff @bornonawdnsday @nazario-sayeed @h-doodles @adele-serda @marlcasters @brightpinkpeppercorn @michelleconnoly @charliejane-blog @ghost-of-yuri @choicesgremlin @lanzhansguqin @orange-elephants @wonder-falcon

Zetta x Adele Series Tag: @eternal-langdon @nydeiri

➡️ Ch. 1, Ch. 2/1, Ch. 2/2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, Ch. 6, Ch. 7, Ch. 8/1, Ch. 8/2, Ch. 9, Ch. 10/1, Ch. 10/2, Ch. 11/1, Ch. 11/2, Ch. 12, Ch. 13, Ch. 14, Ch. 15 , Ch. 16

___________________________

The night of the Surviving the Titanic premiere, I walk into the venue at the arm of Richard, my little Napoleon in tow, 'fashionably late' as my fiancé puts it. We are greeted by the flash powder and shouts of the reporters and the awe of the guests gathered in the dashing foyer, waiting in line to show a steward their invitation. I wave at them, smiling and searching the crowd, while Richard tips his hat. Sadly, I do not see any familiar face or I don't recognise any before we walk past them and disappear behind the red velvet curtains of the auditorium. Another steward takes care of our coats while a colleague leads us to the honorary seats reserved for us and the rest of the crew.

We seat and wait. To keep my mind busy, I fix Richard's bow tie leaning to the side. I chat a bit with Sabine and compliment her outfit once again: I'm touched she decided to wear the pearl headband I gifted her when I made it into the movie industry. A birthday gift: she kept repeating she couldn't accept a gift like that but eventually I prevailed. Seeing it again after all those years...I'm so grateful she didn't listen to me and refused to bring it with her on our trip to Europe: "I'd rather not, Madam: I don't think I will have occasion to wear it", she said. I'm incredibly happy she deemed this night a right occasion. I'm so used to see her in her maid uniform that I forgot how she looks in an evening gown and the little detail makes her look like the friend she is to me. I'm pretty happy and proud of my outfit too. I picked it myself: I knew exactly what I wanted when I commissioned it to a New York fashion designer à la mode. I don't usually wear black, I much prefer colors, but lately I've been reconciling with it. And it seemed appropriate for the night: black is the color of mourning, right? What is tonight, this movie if not a commemoration of all those who aren't with us tonight, all those who sacrificed their lives for people like me and all the other survivors we managed to trace back, gathered here tonight? I'm not naive enough to ignore there is more to it, something less poetic, but I hold onto the remembrance of the lives lost. Onto that night: I hope the meaning of my sapphire necklace, the same one I wore on my birthday night, is not lost to those who were there. A hand on my shoulder, a gentle touch. As my heart races a bit faster I turn...but no, it's only my colleague, my fictional sister greeting me at the arm of John, Richard's right hand. I kiss her cheeks and invite the two of them to join us. She is visibly excited when she announces that the foyer is packed: she had never seen a crowd like that. It's a delight to hear but I can only hope in that crowd are a few familiar faces I long to see. One dear face I desperately long to see. One last time, at least if that's what it must be but I need to see her, to make amends and tell her the truth. She must know: I owe her that. When the stewards eventually open the velvet curtains, the auditorium fills fast, women in fur stoles and men in tuxedo swarm in like bees, chatting lively as they take a seat. I stretch my neck to see if I can find her face but my eyes only meet tycoons, socialite and strangers. Is that man over there checking the night programme Felix? I certainly hope so: if he's here, Lawrence must be too. And God knows how I need him tonight. After what feels like an eternity, it's time. The premiere begins. "Here goes nothing" Richard sighs, taking my hand into his as they dim off the lights. I wish I could have spotted Adele before darkness fall on the auditorium and the projector starts crackling. Apparently, uncertainty must torture me a bit longer.

As story unfolds on screen, I hear the audience hold their breath in awe and fear and for a moment I am reminded why I love my job: to give people feelings, to make them live lives they would never live even if for a fleeting moment. Their wonder, their tears of sorrow and joy are the best reward, the only reward I look for, even more important than the generous checks I receive for my performances: it makes me feel alive, it makes me believe that for a moment our hearts beat at unison and we're connected. When my character and her sister hug in the lifeboat and watch the sinking ship, the muffled sounds and sniffling around me tell me that no matter how hard performing that scene was, the message got trough. I am incredibly happy about this.

After the screening and a round of thunderous applauses, stewards lead us to the theater lobby. I have a look around while reporters and guests join us. Richard insisted to take care of the decorations and the whole movie party himself...well, with his staff: he claimed that he had asked of me too much already and he was happy to help and give Sabine a few days off. My little Napoleon was taken aback by the decision: she has always supervised every party, every mundane event. I look at her and I have to stifle a laugh at her unimpressed face. She's right: just like the picture, the decorations aren't grand enough, not luxurious enough and I have no doubt she would have done so much better than this. There isn't even music... I hear the clinking sound of camera and flash powder igniting and before I know it, a bunch of reporters are taking pictures. I put on my best smile and pose with Richard. When he agrees we offered enough coverage of the events for the moment, he guides me away from them towards a waiter in high uniform offering champagne glasses. He hands me one and takes one for himself. "To our success, to our night" he smiles, rising his glass. I repeat his toast and we cling glasses. I have just tasted the cold alcoholic sweetness of it that guests approach us. I do my best to be polite and charming: I know it's my duty even if it distracts me from my most important search for my love. Is she even here? Maybe she just tossed my invitation into the fireplace after my disappearance...oh, no, I don't wanna picture such thing! And I know it's selfish of me, maybe even my note was selfish...it probably would make things easier for her if I disappeared and let her live her life, if I let her forget me soon. Strip away the memory of the time we shared together like a band-aid. Maybe even engaging romantically with her was selfish of me in my situation...oh, I'm tormenting myself again! Focus, Zetta, focus! The guests profusely compliment and comments are awfully predictable: the jewelled wife of a well known mogul dramatically claims that the picture was "a true masterpiece" and she totally felt "as if she was there too that night". A young socialite nods and echoes her words: is she her daughter? I flash them a smile and say I am overjoyed to hear so, it was the effect we were hoping for. I am stuck into conversations like these until the party is in full swing. My head almost hurt at the insane amount of stale nonsense I hear: maybe Lawrence was right when he once said that the problem with fiction is that the audience hardly takes it as such and cannot distinguish between documentary and fictional movies. They will go to bed tonight truly convinced they know what we survivors felt that night, they will tell friends encouraging them to go see the picture (hopefully) but the truth is...they know nothing. They have no idea how terrifying it was, how gruesome. They have no idea what suddenly not knowing if you or your dear ones will see another dawn or hearing gunshots and screams of terror all around you feel. It's like ice flowing into your veins instead of blood, a clutching fear I will never forget. Their heart would have broken in a thousand pieces too hearing the despair in the voices of the poor souls swimming in the frozen water begging for a help that never came. Maybe this picture was a mistake after all, I don't know. I keep jumping from one conversation to another, peering across the crowd gathered on the balcony and below but I cannot spot anyone I know. Instead, a young man out of the blue asks me news of James: they're acquaintances and he was hoping to meet him here tonight. I sense Richard tensing up at my side as he sinks his glass of champagne. He was on the ship too, the young man continues, is he alright. I have no idea if the rumor of what happened at my birthday party has spread or if it faded away after the tragedy so I offer him a quick smile. I conceal how his reminding me of my fallen little prince is making my wound bleed again. James is fine as far as I know - I tell him - but sadly couldn't make it tonight, a previous engagement he couldn't postpone. My merciful lie seems to be enough for him as he tips his hat and asks me to bring him his greetings. As we part from them, I excuse myself and head away from the crowd "to fix my hair and rouge". Thankfully, Richard understands. He takes my glasses and places a quick kiss on my temple, whispering that it's alright, he will cover for me. He winks at me before greeting a colleague. I make a beeline for the restroom to catch some breath: I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by this party but I must be patient, this night is nowhere close to be over soon. I take a deep breath, one last check and return to the lobby.

At the corner of my eye, I finally notice a familiar couple quietly having a drink in a defiled spot by the railing. Friendly faces, at last! I call their names and they turn. "Here's the belle of the ball!" Lawrence exclaims, approaching. He is charming as usual: he takes my hand and gallantly raised to his lips, smiling. He still looks tired and older than he actually is. I pull him into a quick hug. "You came, you old dog!" I joke, making him laugh. "And you too!" I wink at Felix who blushes slightly. When we part, I throw the two of them a look that - I hope - will convey my deep affection more than my words can. "I am incredibly happy you are here tonight" I smile softly. "We were incredibly happy to receive your invitation to the party, dear Zetta" Lawrence twists my words with his kindness. I take a look at him and flash him a sheepish smile. "You hated it, I know" He sighs before laughing, a gentle laugh. I speak again before he can formulate an excuse. "I can only hope I made up for it. My performance at least, the champagne..." "You were magnificent, Zetta. As usual" His smile is genuine, affectionate. Sweet dear Lawrence... "Tell you what, I had to give the gentleman here my handkerchief in the finale" he adds, a playful yet equally affectionate smile on his lips, nodding to his companion. Felix sighs, shaking his head. He cannot refrain a smile. I laugh and hug him. "That is such a great compliment, thank you, darling!" He's always been a big fan of me, he notes and Lawrence is quick to confirm it. We share a long look, quiet, safely away from the loud crowd. When will I see the two of them again? "Lots of people here tonight" Lawrence comments, after a moment, his blue eyes roaming the lobby packed with guests. "Yeah..." I sigh. "Yet you are the first friendly faces I bump into tonight. Well, apart from Sabine. Can you believe it?". I'm not surprised that he understands the unsaid. I'm relieved, actually: concealing my vulnerability but not to the point a man like him cannot sense it, underneath my words. He shares a quick look with Felix before reaching for my hand and giving it an encouraging squeeze. "Maybe it's just because you got stuck with those socialites in high hats and furs and embarrassingly expensive jewels" He winks at me and I laugh, a liberating laugh I needed so much. "Maybe" I concede before adding, hesitant. "I don't even know what I should hope for, Lawrence". He considers my words and when his eyes meet mine again, I don't want to let go of his hand. I want to hold onto him. "The night is not over, right?". I smile weakly at him: he's right but I have no idea if it's a good thing or not. Maybe it will only mean my agony is far from ending anytime soon. He seems to be reading my own thoughts. "Chin up, dear Zetta. And if you need us, we will be downstairs. Just say the word" Sometimes I wonder what I did good to have a man like him being so kind and thoughtful with me. I nod and try to recollect myself. I wish I could stay with them a bit longer but I see reporters approaching and a proper host cannot disappear forever. Sadly I must go, they know it. After one last lingering look, I take my leave. Evading the reporters is a lost war, so I surrender and pose again. How many pictures do they need, goddammit? Oh boy, this flock of vultures wants statements too. Fine, I know what to say. Marvel at how many people gather here tonight, tell how important this movie is to you, how you hope it will help bring along the memory of the tragedy...and start over. Then, with nonchalance and a charming, unreadable smile, walk away. Thank God, it works. I look for Richard or Sabine but they are both nowhere in sight. I shake hands with a couple of New York socialites when I hear a voice behind me calling my name, quietly almost shyly. I turn and see a young woman in a floral dress, red hair in elegant waves and big green eyes looking at me in awe. "Miss Serda, I just wanted to thank you for your invitation and say how flawless your performance was tonight". I flash her a smile. Have we met already? I cannot tell... "Did you enjoy the picture?" "Yes, quite a lot! Even if it's not the same, of course..." she lowers her eyes as if ashamed to anger me with such an undeniable truth. "Were you on the ship?" I inquiry, in my most reassuring voice. "Yes" she nods. "I was..." she pauses before shaking her head, a brighter smile relaxing her face. "Actually I was Adele's cabinmate. Your secretary's cabinmate, I mean". I gape and take a better look at the redhead in front of me. But of course! I saw her on the deck with a Adele as we were playing shuffleboard with the Baron. I tell her so, hoping to make her happy. It works, apparently: she looks pleasantly surprised I remember her. "You're...Clorinda!" I exclaim, reminiscing Lucille's words at our dinner, when she recognised Adele's dress as one of her own creation, a gift to her favourite model. She laughs, but her laugh is weak. "I was Clorinda, yes". "Lucille sang your praises during our journey" I smile. "Will I see you soon at her upcoming show?". "I'm afraid not, Miss Serda" her lips twist in a pained smile. "I no longer work for Mrs Duff-Gordon". Seeing my surprised face, she continues.

"I had an accident during the sinking. I am no longer suited to work as a mannequin" she explains, quickly lowering her eyes before meeting mine again and adding, cheerfully: "But it's alright. I am here, I am alive and I am in America...it's all that matters, right?". We smile weakly at each other for a moment. I feel sorry for this girl even if she seems stronger than she looks. "Adele talked of you" I tell her and I'm glad to see the mix of surprise and excitement on her face. "You're the big fan of mine who kindly borrowed the posters and memorabilia for my birthday party at the Cafe Parisien. Seeing the old and new posters, reading the little notes you wrote...it meant so much to me, truly. I have never had a chance to thank you properly but I will always remember your kindness to me". A hint of red spreads over her cheeks as she smiles a big bright smile. "Oh, it was nothing, Miss Zetta...I was honoured to give my humble contribution to your birthday. If it made you happy, I'm happy, overjoyed!". I laugh softly at her contagious enthusiasm. Adele told me it was quite endearing and she was right. Her cabinmate speaks again, still gleaming but recovering the initial shyness. "Miss Serda, I was wondering if I could...well, if I could get your autograph? I was hoping to ask you during the crossing but then.." "But of course!" I smile and beckon a steward over. When he's back with a promotional picture and a pen, I look back at my fan. "What name should I write?" "Oh, Lena. Lena Montague but Lena is just perfect". I write my dedication and hand it to her. She takes a step forward, limping a little, and I get a glimpse of her wooden leg as she looks down at the picture with reverence. "There, for you. And your new collection, maybe" I wink.

She thanks me but I insist that it's my line. And a sudden idea crosses my mind. "Thank you for coming, Miss Montague. I am glad I got a chance to make your acquaintance. And I was wondering...I remember expressing the wish to invite you for breakfast after being informed of your lovely gesture, to thank you. Would you accept a belated invitation? Let's say next week?". I have never seen such starry eyes on a face of a fan. "And who would be so foolish to turn down an invitation from you, Miss Serda? Sure thing!" "Excellent! I'll send my maid to you then, she's here somewhere...enjoy the party, Miss Montague". I kiss her cheeks and offer her one last smile before going back to my guests. I search Sabine but I find Richard instead, who introduces me to a couple of survivors he shook hands with. It doesn't take long before I realise why he wanted me to meet them: they say they were on my lifeboat and it was thanks to my intervention that they survived that awful night. They will be eternally grateful. I...I don't know what to say. I see Richard smiling proudly down at me while a faint blush spread over my cheeks. I tell them I am sure they would have helped too if the roles were reversed and wish them a happy new life in America. As they part, I finally spot my little Napoleon approaching, imperturbable as the Sphinx, quietly observing the stewards moving from one side of the hall to other. You can take away her apron but not her inquisitive gaze, I suppose: no rest for Sabine... "Ah, here you are!" I greet her, before teasing her. "I feared I lost you in the crowd" She offers me a quick amused smile. "I wasn't lost, Madam, just mingling. An impressive crowd tonight, n'est pas?" "Beyond our wildest expectations, yes!" Richard confirms, eyes roaming the upper floor.

"I am glad to hear, Monsieur King. A well deserved success" my maid bows her head, concealing once again the disappointment for not being involved in the party setting. Then she turns towards me and continues, with a nonchalance that is only pretended. I know it quite well... "By a fortunate coincidence, I bumped into Miss Carrem just a moment ago". I can only hope my face doesn't betray my feelings, the turmoil her words provoked inside me. Adele is here, she came. I will get to see her at least one last time, I will talk to her. My words will be a poor consolation to her maybe but...I will see her again. "Carrem...Carrem, Carrem...oh right, your secretary on board, huh?" Richard exclaims but I barely register what he's saying. All I can think of is Adele, Adele here, tonight. Oh God, thank you! "Oui, precisement" my little Napoleon confirms on my behalf as I cannot speak. "An exquisite young lady, if I say so myself. The best candidate we had in ages, Monsieur, and I am not easily impressed, I assure you". Richard says something about how he would love to make her acquaintance and thank Miss Carrem personally but I am not listening just like the night of our arrival when he was stroking my hand but my head was far away with he woman I foolishly a abandoned at the pier. "I left her in the main hall downstairs. She's with her sister" Sabine adds, addressing me. Snapping out of my reverie, I manage to remind Richard that I talked a little about them. They were on my lifeboat too, we stayed together on the Carpathia...but I am extremely grateful to the providential steward who beckons him over. He sighs and excuses himself, saying he will be back before we know it. As soon as he's out of earshot and someone else interrupts me again, I wrap my arm around Sabine's and lead her to the side, by the railing. Now that Richard is gone, I can show my concern more freely. To some extent, obviously but I think I am safe with my little Napoleon.

"How is she? Did she look alright?" I inquiry, checking over my shoulder. Sabine ponders her words, as if thinking how to describe the impression her brief meeting with Adele left on her. After what feels like an eternity for my tormented heart, she speaks. "If I may, she looks...troubled". I knew it, I feared so. But hearing it put down into words makes me frown. "Troubled? But of course...what a fool I have been! I shouldn't have invited her here tonight, I should have visited her and-" But I can't bring myself to finish my own sentence. "Troubled with grief, I mean. With with the weight of what happened that night. Mourning, you would say, perhaps". Then she sighs, a deep sigh, shaking her head. "It's such a pity to see a young woman like her taking the world over her shoulders, all that sorrow, all that pain". "She wouldn't be Adele if she didn't" I smile, thinking of every time she spoke of her fight for women's rights, the days she spent in jail for it. My sweet revolutionary is indeed a little Atlas and I fear no one can change that, it's simply her nature. But it pains me to see her so miserable and I cannot shake away the feeling that my disappearance played a role in it. At the very least I added salt on her injury. "But Mademoiselle Carrem is strong" Sabine interrupts my somber train of thoughts. "She just needs time, that's all, I think. Time and a little joie de vivre, don't you think, Madam?".

I smile sadly at her words. "Don't we all need it, ma chére Sabine? A little joie the vivre...". Yes, it certainly would be nice. But is it even possible? Even for people like me and Adele or are we forced to be content with cheap surrogates that keep us floating on the water surface? I wish I had an answer... "I will go talk to her" I sigh, straightening my skirt. "I am sure MademoIselle Carrem will be delighted to see you, Madam". "I hope so, Sabine". Yes, I do hope so. We look at each other for a moment before I speak again. "Oh, before I forget...would you mind getting Miss Montague's address and find out when I can meet her for breakfast next week or so?" I ask, nodding at my fan's figure in the hall downstairs. "And book a table to the Plaza or the St Regis. They're both fine...oh and please, send Miss Montague a poster of Surviving the Titanic. I'll ask Richard to sign it too". I fill her in about the details of Lena's life before the sinking and her troubled arrival: the incident, the loss of her job and the end of her modelling career. Sabine bows her head. "Certament, Madam". "In the meantime, I'll see if I can find a way to do more. I wish I could do more for her, somehow" I continue, lost in my thoughts. My little Napoleon nods and goes quiet, pondering. Around us, the sound of laughters and clinging glasses. When she speaks again, she almost startles me. "I'll be on my way" she announces, standing straighter. Before taking her leave, she looks at me and comments quietly that it has just come to her mind that I still haven't found a new secretary since our arrival. I know that look, that pretended nonchalance once again. As Richard approaches, I give her arm a gentle squeeze, a faint smile crossing my lips. "Go find Miss Montague, Sabine. And not a word on this before I speak to the girl". She throws me a conspiratorial look and walks away. When I turn, Richard is offering me his arm. "Fancy a trip downstairs, darling?". "I thought you never asked!" I smirk, wrapping my arm around his.

As we start walk down the stairs, I can feel my heart beating faster in my chest at the thought of my proximity to Adele, how close we are after all this months...even if it's also different now. But it doesn't matter: I don't want it to matter now...what did she say on the deck of the sinking ship? ‘All I care about is that you're here with me, and safe’. Yes, that it's all I care about too. I...saw her. She's with Hileni by a small table with hors d'ouvres and a pyramid of champagne glasses. Be still my heart, I beg you, be still...but it doesn't listen. I cannot control it anymore now that I know for sure she's here. She's wearing a green dress that it or just perfect for her but it enhances her beauty, if it's even possible. Oh, Adele...you have no idea how badly I have missed you! I feel my face lighten up and my lips curl into a bright, happiest smile. See what hold you have on me, my love? I don't even pay attention to those who greet and part as I walk by: I only have eyes for one guest now, for her. The first who spots me is Hileni: her eyes widen at the sight of me. I suppose she has never seen me in all my glory before; on the Carpathia, even if I was still wearing the outfit of my birthday party underneath the coat a kind fan gave me, I was out of my element just like the rest of us. Adele turns a moment later, following her sister's gaze. When our eyes meet, I almost feel my knees get weak. I hope she can see that this smile is meant for her only. I think she does, she brightens up almost immediately I turn towards Richard. "Will you excuse me a moment? I want to say hi to a dear friend I haven't seen in a while...". Dear friend: the euphemism is an insult to what Adele means to me but it will do. Just like the fiction, it's what the world can take. "Sure, go ahead. I'll go find John" he smiles, parting. I immediately glide over to my love, heart racing in my chest. "Adele"

I call her name and the sweet sound of her name fills my mouth. I place my hand on her upper arms and kisses both her cheeks. Restraining myself from pulling her into a tight embrace and linger in that closeness is a Herculean effort. Her perfume, the shade of red spreading over her cheeks, her shy smile. How I missed you... "Let's you and I catch up" I say, still smiling so brightly. I turn to Hileni and ask: "Mind if I borrow your sister for a moment?". She nods, still looking awed. Without hesitation, I take Adele's arm and lead her to a corner of the room apart from the other guests. For a moment, none of us can't find words. Funny how words are most difficult to find with those who are dearest to our heart. But I know what it is...I feel it too. The weight of our past between us. The memory of our brief happiness together.

A last, I summon up enough courage to finally speak. "Ad-" "I-" We start talking at the same time, then burst into laughter. Look at us, two fools lost to love! "I feel...almost nervous. Ridiculous, aren't I?" I keep my smile on but I know, just know she sensed the vulnerability reverberating in my voice who has suddenly lost the confidence I had before with my guests. She smiles too, gesturing that it's alright. "Zetta, it's...so good to see you again". I am sure my mind now is less cheerful. Time for my poor apologies. "I'm sorry, Adele. I should have written or visited" I sigh. "I've just been so busy..." To my surprise, she interrupts me, understanding, smiling. "I understand. You've been making the film, and you're getting married..." But she suddenly lose the train of whatever else she had planned to say. Adele, you and I can try to behave normally around each other, to act as if nothing happened...but we simply fail all the time. Our feelings always get in the way, my love, and God knows if I don't know it too well. And this, this sadness cutting off your words is all my fault. "I know you're upset" I frown.

She meets my eyes again in a silent, unnecessary apology. You have nothing to apologise for, I do. And I owe you the cruel truth, at last. I take in a deep breath to steady myself and let my mask fall. I drop my voice to a whisper so that only she can hear. "I've been agonizing over what I'd say when I saw you. And I never came up with a good answer". Adele, if only you knew the nights I spend writing you the most ardent, sorrowful letters! "I love you. I want to be with you. But this marriage has to go forward or my career's done". Do you understand my impossible position, my dearest? But please, I beg you never doubt my feelings. "Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar...but never doubt I love". When she speaks, her voice is a pained whisper and her words an excruciating plea. "Zetta, please don't do this. I want us to spend our lives together". I couldn't ask for anything better, sweet Adele, but...there is always a cruel but for us. "Even if that life had to be kept secret?" I grimace. "If people knew about us, it would destroy everything I've worked for". Look what malicious rumours brought on Lawrence and Felix even without a solid evidence of their relationship. Look what the world does to people like us. These guests, my adoring fans crowd the movie theaters to see me fall in love with the hero, the dashing heartthrob 'every woman daydream of' without asking me what I really want. They smile and awe at me tonight but they wouldn't hesitate to drag me down into the gutter if they knew who my heart truly belongs to. "I...I can't have both you and my career".

I lower my eyes unable to sustain her gaze any longer. I am so incredibly sorry, Adele, so sorry.... She reaches for my hand, shyly, and I am reminded of the first time she took my hand into hers in my private projection room on board of the Titanic. The soothing warmth of her hand over mine felt so intimate, calming...just like now. I look back at her and I have to fight back tears. She looks over her shoulder then she speaks, her voice low. "I don't care if no one knows about us. All I care about is that there is an us. I need you, Zetta". My eyes widen as I register the meaning of her words. Does she...does she mean it? "Are you sure?" I ask her, unsure whether she is fully aware of what she's proposing. "This won't be like it was on the Titanic, bathhouses and stolen kisses. It won't be easy..." She searches my eyes and nods. I...I would have never thought nor hoped for such a hopeful end of this conversation I feared so much. Oh my dear...not losing Adele, being with Adele! Out of instinct, I move to kiss her but I refrain myself just in time, painfully aware of the surroundings. I must long for your lips a bit longer, my love...but it doesn't matter, we're together now. "We'll need to come up with a plan..." I consider. "How do you feel about being my publicist?". "About as confident as I felt about being your secretary" she beams. I laugh as I laughed with her in the most dire moments...incredible what a light she casts on me, even when I am at my lowest. I regard her fondly as a newfound sweet joie de vivre starts spreading inside me, and I put my hand to her cheek. "This is the happiest I've felt in months...knowing you'll be at my side" I whisper, my voice trembling with the swirl of feelings taking hold of me. "Always" she whispers back, slightly leaning to the touch.

Suddenly we're both brought back to the party by the flash powder igniting around us. As I unwillingly retrieve my hand we're surrounded by journalists shouting my name. I am too overjoyed by our sweet reunion to be annoyed by them. I wish they could have forgotten about me a bit longer, granting me more time with Adele but they are oddly bearable this time.

I see her leaning closer and putting her mouth to my ear. The words she whispers send my heart fluttering.

"I love you". I turn my face to meet her eyes. I must summon every ounce of strength I have to stop myself from pulling her mouth to mine, pouring my affection on her right in front of the photographers. I see the same restraint in her eyes. There will be other nights for that. Yes, there will other nights... "And I you" I whisper back. My voice is soft, adoring...how could I not adore her? I smile at her one last time before turning to the cameras and bathing into the flash lights. They better capture this moment, I think: I will never be as radiant as I am now. As they keep calling my name and taking picture of me posing, I slowly return to the party I momentarily left for my reunion to Adele. I spot Richard and John lightening cigarettes by the staircase and not far Miss Montague chatting with a man I have never seen before. Sabine is checking herself in a mirror, fixing her headband...a rare moment of vanity for her. Hileni is pondering whether going for the pastry mignons is a bit too much and once saw me looking at her, she shyly waves at me and walks away. To my delight, Lawrence is signing an autograph to a fan, under the proud gaze of Felix, who took a step back. Good old Lawrence... ‘Sometimes our secrets are what make our lives worth living. No matter with what high cost they come attached’, he said. And he was right. I used to repeat to myself that you can't breathe if you're constantly underwater. It turns out I was wrong. With her love, I can breathe underwater.

#titanic storyscape #zetta serda #adele carrem #zetta x adele #zetta x adele series

25 notes · View notes

wreckofawriter · 5 years

Text

The Girl Next Door And The Five Times She Stopped Time

Pairing: James Potter x muggle!reader

Word Count: 3,433

Warnings: Swearing?, None fluffy

Summary: James slowly begins to fall in love with the girl next door

A/n: Sorry I havent posted in a while, this isn't really edited so ignore my mistakes, anyway, hope you guys like it!

James Potter can remember when he first met her. Her y/h/c hair was cut into a bob that ended just above her shoulders. Her deep y/e/c eyes were shining in ways that would make stars envious. She was wearing a soft blue dress that fell just beneath her knees, feet bare.

She leapt out of the back seat of an old Subaru and stood in the dewy morning grass outside of your house. That was the first time he felt time stop

Your eyes seemed to trace over every inch of your new home in slow motion everything else around you fading into white. As James drunk in your appearance.

Time resumed when you set into a sprint and darted up the porch, steps two at a time running through the front door and out of the curious boys view.

James was 10 years old at the time, you 9 but he could still feel his heart race watching you from his own yard. At the time he was sure that it was because of cooties. You were making him get sweaty and his stomach feel funny simply because you had infected him with your contagious disease.

So when his parents had a welcoming dinner for their new neighbors, he completely avoided you, only going near you when absolutely necessary.

You hadn't seemed to notice or if you did you didn't let it bother you in the slightest, you simply shrugged it off and opened some muggle book called 'The Hobbit'.

It wasn't until your family was totally set up when James realized something. He could see directly into your new room.

You had repainted the walls a joyful blue and covered them with colorful posters from muggle cartoons and books. You had purple curtains but they were knotted on either side of the two windows that now faced the young boy.

So he couldn't help it as he watched your small frame move around the room organizing nick-nacks or sit on your bed and read.

Quickly he began to feel sick again and promptly closed his curtains decided that you could catch cooties by simply watching a girl too.

By the time he was 11 he no longer agnollaged cooties as a factual illness so when he met Lily Evan's and he felt his heart speed up and his palms get sweaty he realised that he simply liked her.

But still something sat in the back of the boys mind when he glanced out the window of his dormitory hoping that there would be two rectangles of warm yellow light leering back at him to reveal a little girl perched on her bed a book that was much to thick for her age sitting open in her hand as she smiled softly at the pages.

Everytime James came home the room he gazed into changed, the desk would be in a different spot, or maybe the bed. There would almost always be a new poster on the walls the cartoons slowly dispersing and getting replaced with posters of bands or pictures of friends and family. But the one thing that always seemed to change the most every year was the girl who sat on the bed and read her books. But no matter how much she changed he would always feel that sickening feeling in his gut when he looked at her and he could feel his palms grow sweaty as he thought of you.

You had just gotten back from a partially damaging party. Your best friend had decided to lock lips with the boy you had been crushing on since the sixth grade. You prided yourself on your ability to keep emotions at bay so when you finally reached the safety and security of your bedroom you let your tears flow freely. Unaware if the pair of dark eyes watching you from next door.

When James saw tears spring from your eyes he felt sadness and fury take him. The simple idea of you being upset made him so himself. And there you were sitting on your bed tears sliding slowly down your cheeks. And once again time stopped seeming to slow down before coming to a halt as he watched your tears leave slow shimmering tracks down your y/s/c checks.

James had wanted nothing more than to go to you, comfort you. But there were too many things that kept him from doing so. The fact that you hadn't spoken in four years being the main one. Also the fact that he had been borderline stalking you for the past few years would be revealed. So he couldn't go to you which made him utterly disappointed.

That is when James realize that something was up. He didn't just see you as the muggle girl who lived next door but he was confused. The image of Lily seemed to flash in his head but he still stared across at you wishing he could help. Because he felt something different with you. But what was it?

A year later James had finally figured it out.

You had been in a partially happy mood. Your parents were out of town for the night and your older brother was at his girlfriend's which meant you had the house all to yourself. So you did the one reasonable thing to do when your home alone. You stole your brothers speakers and blasted music so loud you could hear your eardrums thumping dully in your head.

Fifth year had been one of the more difficult for James, tests had gotten much more difficult, his best friend had gone through hell and back with his parents and his whole love life seemed to flip completely upside down.

Lily had grown more and more unimportant as the year went on. Like over the summer he had simply fallen out of love with her, which was half true but the whole truth was that he had fallen in love with you.

He couldn't keep you from his mind. He missed you even though he barely knew you, he found himself glance out his window every day in a slim hope that you had somehow temported to the Hogwarts grounds and was now reading some 1,000 page horror book in the grass below.

Yet somehow he had managed to convince himself that he was still in love with Lily. He contorted his mind building walls between memories, blocking certain ones off. All of it was completely exhausting.

So when he and Sirius ascended to his bedroom after getting home he wanted to do nothing but plop onto his bed and pass out and that was what he was doing until he heard Sirius emit a low whistle.

"What?" James groaned pulling himself from his bed to see his friend smirking deviously out his window.

"You never told me you lived next to that." Sirius gawked biting his lip.

James turned and felt his soul leave his body. Over the year you had, well matured.

You had gone from looking like a 13 year old to looking like a 16 year old.

You had grown at least 2 inches, your hair was now y/h/l and you had well, gotten much curvier.

In a sense puberty had hit you like a 16 wheeler and now you were wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and a pair of lacy magenta underwear.

James mouth hit the floor as you pranced around your room using a hairbrush as a microphone. He could hear the dull thump of the bass from Rocketman coursing through your speakers. And once again time slowed to a stop as he watched as you flipped your y/h/c hair over your head in slow motion, leaping from your bed to in front of the mirror. Everything around you fade before suddenly snapping back to reality when Sirius let out a laugh.

You were singing the words, James only wished he could hear you. You pointed at the mirror and closed your eyes swing your hips as your lips split into a brilliantly wide grin

Sirius turned to James The poor boy's mouth hung agape his eyes the size of a snitch.

"Looks like you didn't know either." He chuckled.

"S-she looks s-so dif-different." The dark haired boy stuttered, his infatuation causing him to stumble over words.

"Clearly, she bloody hot." Sirius smirked watching you jump to your bed raising your hands above your head enjoying the view of the small lacy undergarment the action exposed.

"She's incredible." James breathed out dreamily snapping the other boys attention back to him.

"Woah, woah, woah. She's not the reason you suddenly lost interest in Lily is she?"

James flushed, his dark eyes flicking quickly to his friend before retreating back to your moving form. "No." He lied.

"Oh Merlin." Sirus groaned smacking his forehead, "Just when I thought you were going to stop acting like a love sick puppy here you are again in love with another girl you barely know."

"I'm not in love with her." James scoffed

"Sure. Sure." Sirius mumbled picking at his fingernails. "Quick question, what's her favourite color?"

"Y/f/c." James answered without hesitation.

"What about her favorite book?"

"Probably y/f/b." He paused for a second his eyes still trained on you, now dancing along to Bennie and the Jets. "Or y/sf/b."

"And her favourite band?" Sirius asked in an almost disappointed tone.

"Definitely Queen, although Led Zeppelin is probably a close second. Why are you asking me this?" James asked prying his eyes from you to land on his extremely exhausted looking friend.

Sirius just shot him a knowing glance both his eyebrows raised. Realization quickly dawned over James face.

"Oh no." He groaned, letting his head fall to his mattress. "I am in love with her."

"Bingo." Sirus spoke a pitying smile grazing his lips.

James just moaned sourly into his blanket. "I didn't even know I knew that shit."

"Let's go to bed man." Sirius sighed closing James curtains blocking you out.

As much as James wished to wipe you from his mind he couldn't help but feel disappointed as you disappeared from view.

For the rest of the summer Sirius made it his mission to reconnect you and James, as if you were ever really connected. Either way he made sure to make James as obvious as possible to you.

He introduced himself to you and made friends quickly. He was sure to have you come over as often as possible.

The first time this happened James damn near shit himself when you walked through the door wearing a bikini as he was getting ready for the trip he and Sirius had planned.

"Hey James" you smiled meekly, waving a bit.

"H-hey." He smiled back before shooting Sirius a glare.

"Y/n is going to come swimming with us remember I told you about it last night." Sirius smirked winking slyly.

"O-oh yeah of course."

Many other awkward interactions were induced by Sirius, including both of you getting locked "accidentally" into a closet together, you falling asleep on James shoulder, James and you falling on top of eachother and Sirius' personal favorite of yelling at the top of his lungs while James was changing and your window was open, causing you to look over and see James with nothing but boxers on red faced and angry as Sirius scrambled out of the room. (You would be lying if you didn't enjoy that one little bit.)

But just as Sirius was sure he was going to be the next matchmaker the two older boys had to leave, much to both of their dismay.

The whole year James could do nothing to keep you from his mind. The way you smiled stuck in his brain like glue, your laugh cemented to his skull. You were all he could think of so when he came back for summer after his sixth year he had never been more ecstatic.

James dashed up his stairs hoping that he might catch just a glimpse of you through his window.

And he did. He saw you laying on your bed, a laugh escaping a wide smile that was carved into your face. Your eyes were shining brightly, your y/h/c hair splayed across you pillow.

This broke James. It made him fall to pieces, heart filling with grief. Because the laugh wasn't because of him, the smile wasn't for him and the shine in your eyes wasn't directed at him.

He watched in agony as the red headed boy who leaned over you connected his lips to yours gracefully. The moment he wished more than anything could seemed to slow as if the universe was mocking him, showing him a nightmare that seemed to never end. Time had once again stopped as you wrapped your delicate hands around the boys neck and pulled him closer to you. He watched in pain as the girl he loved kissed another man.

Sirius had come up the stairs now and instantly saw the scene taking place behind the opposite window. He cursed under his breath quickly closing the curtains and turning to face his heart broken best friend.

James looked defeated, his mouth slightly agape, his eyes downcast and filled with sorrow. He blinked a few times before turning around and walking straight out of the room.

"Shit." Sirius mumbled knowing this wasn't going to end well, "James!" He called running down the stairs to find him reaching for the door handle. "What are you doing?" The long haired boy questioned.

"I have to stop her." James said turning to his best friend, a new look of determination etched onto his strong features.

"For doing what?" Sirius pointed out angrily.

"From kissing some freckled bastard that's what!" James shouted anger filling his dark eyes.

"You can't!" Sirius shot back harshly.

"Why in bloody hell not?!" James yelled taking two steps towards his friend but Sirius stood his ground.

"BECAUSE SHES NOT YOURS!" Sirius bellowed angry at his friend for being so blinded by love.

James eyes flickered with doubt before his entire face collapsed with it. Determination flipping to guilt then to misery as he realized what was really happening.

"I'm sorry man, you can't stop her from doing anything." Sirius sighed disappointment readable in his own voice.

Summer was suddenly a bleak occasion for James. Now that y/n had a boyfriend he had to become more and more accustomed to the presence of the "freaked bastard" who he soon found out was Austin Bostian. Austin was a muggle that went to the same school as y/n. Not that James cared. All he cared about was the fact that Austin got to kiss y/n and hold her and touch her.

James and y/n drifted away from each other slowly and painful over the vacation and to James it felt like his heart was slowly being torn in two. But seeing Austin with her made him dizzy and upset, he just couldn't bear being around her.

So when school finally rolled back around he felt a sense of relief filled him. Of course the image of you still burned bright in his memory he just did his best to bury it deep within the pictures of you and Austin locking lips or holding hands. It almost made it easier.

The school year was a strange one for James. He forced himself onto Lily more than ever, when truth was he didn't even want to go anywhere with her. Sirius of course knew he was really simply distracting himself, but he couldn't help but feel bad for Lily who actually seemed more into it than before.

Sirius' suspicions were confirmed when Lily finally answered yes to James catching everyone by surprise, especially the quidditch star.

James had then fled the scene only to return a few moments later and attempt to explain himself. Which of course failed miserably and a shit storm hit him in a wave. Most of the Gryffindor girls wouldn't even look at him anymore, claiming he was a monster who shouldn't lead on someone like that. Which of course he did. James had felt like shit and just wanted to go home the entire time. But the idea of seeing you and Austin again crushed the poor boy. So he played quidditch and a lot of it.

When he graduated it was bitter sweet. He wasn't sure what he was feeling anymore but he knew that he wanted to see you at least one last time. He needed to confess.

Now as he stood in front of your door he felt the familiar feeling of nervousness and embarrassment flush over him. He ignored the fluttering in his stomach and squeezed his eyes shut briefly before knocking twice on the door.

He heard the patter of feet followed by a muffled "I'm coming" before the door swung open to reveal you. Your hair was stuck up into a terribly messy bun, strands of hair hanging in front of your face. You had on a pair of athletic shorts and a Atari crop top that you had clearly cut yourself.

"Hey James." You smiled up at him either not noticing or caring that his cheeks were flaming red.

"Uh hey y/n." He answered suddenly realizing he had zero plan whatsoever. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course." You answered inviting him inside. You ead him upstairs to your room. Once inside Jmaes realized that after all these years if staring into your room he had never been inside it. It was decently clean a few items of clothing scattered across the ground here and there.

"Sorry for the mess." You muttered plopping onto your bed. "So what's up?"

James felt his throat close up. His hands suddenly felt extensively sweaty and he thought he might throw up.

"Well umm.." he took in a deep breath closing his eyes before snapping them open to meet your curious y/e/c ones. "I'm in love with you."

The room fell deathly silent, the faint hum of cicadas drumming outside.

Your eyes went wide mouth falling slightly open. "Y-you love me?" Your voice uncharacteristically high.

"Yeah." James mumbled quietly, "And I know that your with Austin and everything but I just, I can't leave without telling you."

You let out a small giggle, which in other circumstances would have made his heart soar but now he felt it sink into the floor. You were laughing at him.

"I'm not with Austin dumbass." You scoffed rolling your eyes.

That was much better than what James was expecting, "R-really?" He asked tripping over this words.

"Yeah. I broke up with him like a week after you left for school." You rolled your eyes playfully.

"Oh." James voice hopefully, "That's good." His eyes widened, "Not like good that you had to break up with him, just you know good that I didn't-"

You cut off his ramblings by grabbing his shirt and pulling him onto you. You smashed your lips onto his tasting mint. James quickly melted into the kiss placing his arms on either side of you to keep from toppling onto you as you grabbed his neck and forced your tongue into his mouth.

And for the fifth time in his life he felt time stop. Your soft yet rough touch making everything but you disappear. He could only feel you pressed hot against his skin, lips moving slowly against his own.

The spell you put him under broke when you pulled away gasping for air. "You're an idiot you know." You smiled, hands playing with his dark locks.

James shot you a confused look.

"I've been in love with you since you ignored me at the welcoming dinner your family threw." You explained. Causing the boys eyes to widen.

"Really?" He asked in disbelief.

You scoffed. "You are terribly blind. And you suck at flirting, I thought you hated me."

"What?" James asked confused.

"Well, I mean you ignored me and always got all weird around me. I thought you hated me."

"Oh." James cringed, suddenly realizing how his strange actions must have looked from your prospective.

You giggled, a heavenly sound before pulling the boy back down to meet your lips.

From across the street Sirius smiled widely watching his best friend.

"That girl seriously needs to close her curtains." He muttered still grinning as he turned away from the new couple.

@accio-rogers

Masterlist

3K notes · View notes

firekyoshi · 3 years

Text

i can't believe yall havent thought of a sambucky the handmaiden au LIKE GUYS LOOK AT THE POTENTIAL

okay if u haven't seen the handmaiden (2016) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS ONE OF MY FAV MOVIES AND AS A BISEXUAL WOMAN ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES FEATURING SAPPHIC CHARACTERS

anyways here's a very self-indulgent sambucky the handmaiden! au that i wrote at midnight literally 7 hours before my exam

tw // mentions of suicide

- sam is sook-hee and bucky is hideko obvs

- sam is a criminal working for the power broker aka sharon while bucky or in this case, the winter soldier, was a test experiment for HYDRA / is now an assassin + bodyguard for their leader, alexander pierce

- sharon is conducting business w hydra to obtain some weapons and idk black market stuff which forces her to go to siberia, but obviously the ultimate weapon she wants to take home is the infamous winter soldier

- she asks sam to pretend to be her butler/bodyguard but is actually hiring him to get information on the winter soldier program and obtain the code words needed to control them

- they end up staying in pierce's mansion in like a really remote place in siberia

- sam gets acquainted w the other butlers and housekeepers, they tell him that the area is haunted because they would always hear a man screaming just before daybreak followed by complete silence. they also tell him that the forest is haunted by the spirit of a man who killed himself there

- just like the housekeepers said, sam wakes around 3-4 in the morning to the sound of a man screaming followed by complete silence

- anyways the next morning he accompanies sharon to her first meeting w hydra officials, and that's where he encounters bucky

- after the meeting, sharon is all like, "change of plans. we're going to steal the winter soldier." sam's like "and who's that?", "the person u were standing next to earlier,"

- afterwards, sam starts to spy on bucky. he doesn't talk much, sam notices, actually scratch that this man does not talk period

- they were standing by the door a few feet away from where their bosses were talking. "so uh, what do i call you?" sam asks one day, but bucky is like a statue, his response being a mere blink

- sharon and pierce always have their business meetings in the morning, but they also have spend time at night, usually supper or dinner, that's more casual. sam notices that pierce's bodyguard is less stiff and more human during the later hours of the day

- sam and bucky are again standing by the door. "what do i call you?" bucky asks quietly, almost like a whisper. "uh sam, you can call me sam. and you?"

- he freezes for a while before replying, "james barnes"

- another thing that sam notices is that bucky is NEVER alone. either he's with pierce or he's escorted by other bodyguards (who look like they couldn't even take him down altogether)

- one morning, after the usual distant screams, sam decides to figure out where the screams were actually coming from. he goes to the main house, pretending to bring tea for sharon (there's a small camera hidden in the tray)

- he sees the usual group of bodyguards escorting a half-naked and disheveled bucky from the stairs to the basement. when they see him, the group looks like a pack of deers in headlights, one of them reaches for their gun, "i'm bringing tea for ms. carter," he quickly says.

- "go ahead," the leader, rumlow, says, "but next time use the main hallway will you?"

- "right, she just said it was faster this way, and she's really peculiar about the temperature of her tea."

- he shows the video to sharon and she's like "i need u to find out wtf is going on in that basement."

- one night, sharon and pierce are having dinner tgt "since we're on the topic of legends and fairytales, i have to ask about something," sharon says,

- "go, on," pierce replies

- "the winter soldier program, does it really exist?"

- the hydra leader chuckles, "i was wondering when you would ask that," then points toward bucky, "my dear, you're looking at the winter soldier."

- sam listens in on the conversation. the winter soldier program was a program created by hydra in the 1940s with the first successful test subject being an american ww2 soldier named steve rogers. apparently he was given this serum that made him super strong and for 10 years, while the other test subjects were cryogenically frozen, hydra worked to find ways to control him but failed and they had to keep him restrained most of the time.

- one night, rogers broke out of the facility, stole all the remaining formulas, and threw them away before blowing his brains out in the nearby forest

- after rogers' suicide, hydra brought out its second test subject, bucky barnes, and used the remaining serum on him. afterwards hydra froze him again while they worked on something to keep his mind under control.

- around the 1960s they created the trigger words and since then they've been using bucky to do their dirty work for them. "this, my dear, is our greatest creation." pierce says as he approaches a stand displaying a red book. "his trigger words. say them and he will do anything you want. if you need some errands taken care of, i'd be happy to lend him to you. we can talk about the costs later."

- "i don't have anything i can't take care of myself at the moment, but i'll keep that offer in mind." sharon replies

- now sharon's like "okay we HAVE to steal him and the codes." she figured out that all of the mansion's surveillance turns off for an hour to reboot from 1 AM to 2, and tells sam to basically go to the basement and manipulate bucky when he's not under hydra's control. "make him trust you, that way we won't have much of a fuss taking him to madripoor."

- that night, after the clock strikes 1, sam sneaks into the basement and finds a cell with bucky inside. there's a bed, well, more like a mattress, but bucky's not sleeping on it. instead he's sitting in a corner, head against the wall, knees tucked in his chest, hyperventilating and,,,crying???

- "hey," sam whispers, "you okay?"

- the winter soldier stares at him with red rimmed eyes and a tear stricken face. "you're sam, you're her bodyguard."

- "yeah and you're the winter soldier, or do you prefer james?"

- "bucky. it's bucky"

- yeah basically sam visits bucky's cell every night for exactly 45 minutes before he has to sneak back out. he tries to gain bucky's trust and manipulate him but guess what they fall in love surprise surprise

- bucky tells sam his true story. how he and steve used to be ww2 soldiers that were experimented on by hydra. he remembers being frozen and the first thing he sees when they woke him up was steve's dead body. "they told me he shot his head in the forest." the first thing he felt was pain as they injected the serum into his veins then tried to erase his memories. he remembers going into cryo and being woken up over and over again to kill someone or destroy something.

- he also tells sam about the one night he broke out, ran as fast as he could, and jumped off a cliff, only for him to survive. he lost an arm, but hydra replaced it with another weapon. "i thought i would end there, but i just became more of a weapon"

- so sam starts to feel unsure about stealing the winter soldier bc goddamnit bucky's a person and he doesnt deserve any of this.

- also the more time he spends with bucky the more he realises that the actual james bucky barnes is a fucking piece of shit that still uses 40s slang and petnames and makes outdated jokes and is actually a big fucking flirt.

- and sam's heart breaks every time he looks at bucky's crestfallen face when he realises that their 45 minutes are over

- of all the people he could fall in love with, it just had to be a brainwashed assassin

- sharon tells him that in a few days, she and pierce will leave for a week to actually get the business transaction done. basically she tells sam that he should break bucky out of the mansion while they're away, take the trigger word book, and meet with torres so he can take them both to madripoor.

- while sharon and pierce leave, sam continues visiting bucky during the night. also he doesn't see bucky during the day bc they have no reason to bring him out of the cell, and he kinda misses him aw

- one night, he wakes up to noise, lots of it. everyone in the house is running. in the midst of all the chaos, sam hears, "find the soldier!"

- the first place sam goes to is the forest, and there he finds bucky kneeling by a frozen lake, with a gun in his hands. sam tackles him and throws the gun away

- "what the fuck were you thinking huh?!" sam shouts, tightly holding the front of bucky's shirt, and he can't help but cry at the thought of bucky's dead body. and all of a sudden he feels like shit. for manipulating bucky and taking advantage of his trauma for his own gain. so he gathers bucky in his arms and tells him everything. about what he and sharon were actually planning, what his true motivations were when he first went inside the basement, and how he actually grew to care for bucky

- bucky just laughs and says, "i know,” he reveals that sharon's plan all along was to take bucky and the trigger words for herself, and frame sam as the mastermind behind everything. she'll then fake bucky’s death and offer sam as another test subject for the winter soldier program as compensation for stealing (and “killing”) bucky

- "how do you know all this?"

- "she visited me the first night you arrived and we talked. she told me she'll take me away and all i had to do was manipulate you into breaking me out." bucky confesses, "i didn't realise you were a sweetheart, that made everything so complicated."

- anyways sam knocks bucky unconscious and basically helps hydra guards put him back in his cell. "just saying, maybe we shouldn't tell pierce abt this yknow" and the hydra guards r like yeah no totally cause if he knew we're all fucked

- anyways bucky and sam come up with a plan to escape together. sam contacts a friend known as baron helmut zemo, who's basically sharon's biggest enemy, but more importantly, owes sam a big ass debt and asks him to give the two of them safe passage to sokovia

- they plan to escape two nights before sharon and pierce return to siberia. on that night, sam wakes up at exactly 1 AM like he always does, and kills everyone in the house. he puts a bullet in every hydra guard, every housekeeper, everyone. he disables all the techs in the house, steals the trigger word book and breaks bucky out of his cell.

- "wait. there's something i have to show you." bucky says. he takes sam to the facility. the place where they tortured him and experimented on him. the place where every other test subjects were kept frozen.

- (if you've watched the handmaiden, yes this is a reference to the library scene) sam can't contain the anger he feels when he looks at the room. "is this where they tortured you? is this where the screams come from every night?"

- bucky nods. he points at a chair in the centre of the room, surrounded by machines and computers. "every morning they would drag me out of my cell, put me on that chair, and-" he swallows a choked sob, "and read the trigger words,"

- sam can't control it anymore. he grabs a metal rod and starts destroying the place. he breaks every machine, tearing them apart until they are nothing more than wires and buttons. he kills all the frozen test subjects, because they deserve better than this. he rips apart the pages of the winter soldier's mission reports, and gathers them into a pile.

- from afar, bucky watches as sam lights up the pile and everything in front of him starts to burn. when sam turns to look at him, he can't help but think about how magnificent he looks as the fire roars behind him. his hero. his guardian angel. his sam.

- sam approaches bucky and pulls him in for a hungry kiss. something he feels he should've done earlier. "no one will ever control you again." he says, and for once its a promise that bucky believes in.

- sam reaches in his bag and pulls out the red book. bucky starts to cry bc no one, not even before hydra, had ever loved him like this. "i mean it. no one." sam says. bucky throws the book in the fire and watches and both paper and leather melt into ash

- the end they escape using zemo's private jet and live happily ever after haha

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes

2 notes · View notes

olivieblake · 4 years

Text

... I'm sorry, my message was too long and I couldn't be bothered to split it up LOL.

I just read Paradox and it was?? a masterpiece??? But I saw in the FFN comments that you said on your Tumblr that it was controversial oh yeah a lot of people had a lot of issues with it (the fuck) so I had to come here to (1) see and (2) spread some more love bc YOU ARE TOO TALENTED LMAO

AU Hermione was iconic as hell, and I loved her!! this is a very unpopular opinion and I appreciate it very much—she’s the primary reason this fic got so much negativity; people who chose to see her as purely a romantic rival for potterverse!Hermione decided to be v mean about her I actually preferred both AU characters initially - both Hermione and Draco - but tbf I love morally gray characters in general. Like that scene with her knife to Draco’s throat, can I say sexy??? yes like can you blame him? And the conflict with Voldemort, the fact that she took charge, my god. I am obsessed with literally everyone in your story and that is all I need to say

You even got me to ship Jilly and while I’m not a Snilly shipper, I literally hate every man from Lily’s time so like. The fact that your writing actually got me to ship Lily with James of all people. I’m dead. Also I kind of loved James. That scene where he talks about Draco. I think I read it like 10 times bc I loved it so much I definitely think that’s one of my most memorable scenes from the fic

Actually there’s like at least 30 subchapters that I read about 10 times in a row, it made me take at least twice as long to read the fic as I normally would have

Admittedly both the originals grew on me, and I ended up preferring them; especially since new Draco was MIA for most of the latter half HA.

And also because – old Hermione did grow a lot more confident, and the fact that she stole the kiss, her entire realization about confidence and seizing what you want, I DIED

And I also need to add your prose is BEAUTIFUL your dialogue is BEAUTIFUL your banter is BEAUTIFUL your characterization is BEAUTIFUL. I rambled about all this already in FFN comments but just. BEAUTIFUL. I appreciated the comments very much and am very happy to hear it!!

I’ve actually been in the worst reading slump for the past - year, actually LOL. it happens Nothing I’ve read has really seized me until Paradox - and honestly it did, woooo! it grabbed me from the very first chapter, and it was in part due to the hook (“wtf is goin on with hermione”) and in part due to, just, ugh, your writing, delicious. And then it just kept getting BETTER??? I was like “wow how does she do this” and then I was too busy gaping and screaming to ask that question anymore

And that kiss??? May I say, the kiss at the end, it was. Perfect. I can’t. Not only was it beautifully written in general, but also, the moment with Draco’s recognition - the moment with him going *oh*, xyz, *oh*, that was so rhythmical on top of beautiful and I just. I screamed. definitely one of my favorite scenes I’ve ever written, thank you. writing it was a dream

I’m sorry I turned this ramble into an entire essay but basically

Love

I’m so excited to read Nobility and Lady Vengeance and actually everything you’ve ever written lmfao

Actually I’m pretty sure I slept on Nobility bc it was “eventual Dramione” according to tags but with the way you write Draco (even the original) and his intensity (see below) I just. I am willing to raze my Tomione heart to ashes haha. well, I do think part of the reason you were able to enjoy this fic more than some of the early readers is because you may have come in with a more open mind? certain dramione fans were…. upset, to say the least, about the two being paired up with the “wrong” versions. regardless I’m happy to hear it

I also really love the way you write Pansy based on your Sirius fic so. Ugh. I’m very excited like you don’t even know

Also old Draco’s intensity in the final half/third of the story I can’t

He went from “very canon Draco who works well with Sexy Hermione” to me going laksjdf;asjkdfdjkdskskskskskks

literally just

Draco: *stares silently at Hermione for five seconds, except written beautifully*

me: *dramatic swooning only it’s bc I actually fainted bc ur draco is a treasure and i am WEAK* wonderful

also the reconciliation scene at the end. so perfectly written; it was inevitable I’d love the one between old draco and new hermione, but I also loved the one following; it was – both meaningful and oddly sweet and – nostalgic, I think, is the word I’m looking for aw that’s nice

and that reminds me

you are SO GOOD at setting atmosphere it’s just – I feel like that’s one of the hardest things to write, is atmosphere, and yet. You do it so seamlessly in such an impeccable way to the point that I just got swept away by the story before I even realized it and just. ugh. thank you! all of this is very nice to hear

Your writing is amazing thank you

Also I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ramble quite this hard LOL it happens to the best of us. thanks so much for reading and reviewing!! I appreciate it IMMENSELY and I’m always especially happy to hear someone enjoys this story in particular

#paradox #submission

10 notes · View notes

tabloidtoc · 3 years

Text

Globe, November 9

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince Andrew fails lie detector -- new crisis rocks the palace

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Bruno Toniolo shirtless, Heidi Pratt at a pumpkin patch in L.A., Jacqueline Bisset catches some rays in L.A.

Page 3: Larry David leaves an L.A. office, Ellen Pompeo, Pete Wentz

Page 4: Kathie Lee Gifford is talking to NBC bigwigs about coming back to Today and they’re hot over the idea but Hoda Kotb is not pleased and Jenna Bush Hager is feeling threatened because Jenna never really grabbed the audience like Kathie Lee did, Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow are heading into the holidays trash-talking each other even more than usual and their pals have nowhere to hide -- they’re snippier than ever and can’t get through the week without saying something crass but the trouble is they have the same friends and they use some of the same chefs and caterers and crew -- all their friends in the Hamptons including the Seinfelds and Beyonce and Jay-Z and Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley and Rachael Ray are trying to keep out of it but it’s impossible because Martha and Gwyneth are both screaming for loyalty

Page 5: Legal hotshot and writer Jeffrey Toobin has been shelved by the New Yorker magazine for showing off his willie to co-workers during a Zoom conference call -- witnesses say Toobin was masturbating but he insists it was a blooper

Page 6: Dolly Parton was so lovestruck when she met Elvis Presley that she nearly chucked her marriage and career to shack up with Elvis -- Dolly is ready to tell all about Elvis after decades of protecting her husband Carl Dean and Elvis’ only child Lisa Marie Presley -- Dolly was in her late 20s and Elvis was in his late 30s when they had their sizzling encounter where she got dolled up to meet Elvis in a Nashville office and discuss working together and he wanted to do a duet but she didn’t trust herself to work with him and she didn’t even let Elvis do a cover of her song I Will Always Love You -- even though Dolly didn’t actually cheat on Carl she sure was tempted and she’s felt guilty about it ever since

Page 8: Just two weeks after splitting with his wife of 14 years former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan was arrested and jailed on charges of trying to strangle a terrified galpal -- after a night of partying where he was photographed surrounded by four gals with an iced bottle of vodka at the table Zachery reportedly got into a heated clash with his galpal and she claims Zachery grabbed her by the throat and squeezed then tried to snatch her phone when she attempted to call 911 so she ran to a neighbor’s home where she hid while cops were called

Page 9: Distressed Kelly Clarkson and her two toddlers are in therapy to help cope with the anguish brought on by her divorce from Brandon Blackstock -- the talk show host is especially struggling because the split is playing out so publicly and the kids are seeing things about their mom on TV and she feels immense guilt about the divorce but knows it was the best decision because she wasn’t happy married to Brandon though she did try but staying in a marriage just for the kids wasn’t an option for her -- Kelly was deeply wounded when her father-in-law Narvel Blackstock’s management company recently sued her for $1.4 million in alleged unpaid commissions but she’s speaking with her ex privately in an effort to resolve the issue out of court but Kelly suspects he’s using it as a bargaining chip for a bigger settlement and also feels he’s using the kids against her as a weapon

Page 10: Showbiz legend Michelle Phillips has become a shut-in who sits home alone tippling wine while watching movies on TV and listening to her hits from The Mamas & the Papas where she is the last surviving member of the band -- she’s sad the rest are all gone and she’ll put on a record and sit in the dark; she misses them and so many other people -- she’s become a shut-in due to the pandemic and can’t bear for people to see her so old and haggard and overweight and all those years of partying have done their damage to her once-beautiful face -- she also hasn’t been able to see her young grandson and she’s grieving the loss of her longtime lover who died in 2017

Page 11: Baywatch hunk Jeremy Jackson’s cover girl ex-wife has been found homeless wandering California’s mean streets in worn and shabby clothes -- lost for two years Loni Willison is now virtually unrecognizable with missing teeth and her long blond tresses cropped short -- she was found pushing a grocery cart filled with her battered possessions in Venice -- despite her tragic situation she insists she’d doing fine and doesn’t want help despite reportedly having drug and mental health issues

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Rita Ora in a see-through frock (picture), Lily James got caught brazenly canoodling with the very much married Dominic West who plays her father in the BBC miniseries The Pursuit of Love, just weeks after Cardi B filed to dissolve her marriage to Offset she’s put the split on hold and all it took was Offset to spend bucks on a heart-tugging Sunset Strip billboard and a Rolls-Royce and a Hermes Birkin bag, Kate Hudson’s getting loose-lipped about gross snotty smooches with her leading man Matthew McConaughey

Page 13: Vinny Guadagnino eating in Beverly Hills (picture), Kaitlyn Bristowe has a puffy trout pout (picture), Shia LaBeouf doesn’t let an apparent injury keep him from getting out and about in Pasadena (picture), Alanis Morissette says the fame that came with her 1995 revenge song You Oughta Know wasn’t so sweet but instead was an isolating experience

Page 14: Nicole Kidman is starring opposite Hugh Grant in the thriller series The Undoing but she really wanted to plays Hugh’s love interest in Notting Hill except she wasn’t well-known enough, Reba McEntire has landed herself a brand new TV show which is a modernized Fried Green Tomatoes drama series in which she’ll play the present-day Idgie Threadgoode, Fashion Verdict -- Regina King 8/10, Isabelle Huppert 2/10, Queen Maxima 5/10, Tracee Ellis Ross 9/10, Cher 4/10

Page 16: How John F. Kennedy stole the White House from Richard Nixon -- Chicago mob rigged the 1960 vote and cheated Nixon out of the presidency

Page 19: True Crime

Page 21: Parkinson’s patient Alan Alda is refusing to slow down at age 84 and friends fear the fragile M*A*S*H legend is headed for a devastating health crisis and he’s busier now than he ever was even during his sitcom days and he bravely says he lives with it by staying active but medication can only do so much and his friends and family including wife Arlene are worried he’s pushing himself too hard, teary-eyed Ringo Starr confesses his last conversation with dying Beatles bandmate George Harrison was heartbreaking and unforgettable -- Ringo wanted to stay with George until the end but his daughter Lee had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and Ringo had to rush to Boston to see her and when Ringo told George he had to go to Boston George said D’ya want me to come wit’ ya? so even on his death bed George made his best buddy smile while both faced unspeakable grief

Page 22: 10 Things You Don’t Know About S. Epatha Merkerson, Today show host Hoda Kotb reveals Frank Sinatra Jr. was the show’s worst guest because he clammed up instead of touting a book about his famous dad in 2015, Khloe Kardashian confesses she once worked as Nicole Richie’s personal assistant because she just needed a job and they went to school together -- Nicole’s reality career crashed in 2007 which was the same year Khloe’s series started

Page 24: Cover Story -- Disgraced Prince Andrew has flunked a lie detector test on his close relationship with murdered American pedophile Jeffrey Epstein and now the rogue royal insists he’ll never cooperate with the FBI for fear his testimony will land him behind bars but Queen Elizabeth’s favorite son has his back against the wall as new evidence surfaces on both sides of the Atlantic -- Andrew is terrified newly released secret testimony from Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell is just the tip of the iceberg of what she’s prepared to reveal and Maxwell’s revelations detailing her twisted sex life come on the heels of an explosive new British book accusing Andrew of attending debauched events with Epstein where teenage girls were parading around topless -- even though friends close to Andrew say he did nothing wrong and has no reason to fear the prince may not have a choice about spilling his guts because the fed-up royal family is threatening to cut off the cash-strapped rogue unless he plays ball

Page 25: Prince Andrew has been banished from the gift shop at his mother’s Balmoral Castle -- tourists can still purchase postcards her Her Majesty’s kids Prince Charles and Princess Anne and Prince Edward but Prince Andrew has disappeared which is a sure sign that Andrew is in the doghouse since items featuring Elizabeth’s beloved corgis are still up for sale

Page 26: Health Report

Page 27: Dirtiest places on planes exposed

Page 30: Serial sleaze Matt Lauer’s ready to pop the question to girlfriend Shamin Abas over the holidays and he hopes for a brighter future with her a year after his 20-year marriage to Annette Roque ended in divorce -- Matt showers Shamin her with gifts and wants to buy a house on the East Coast where they can make new memories and Matt’s hinted he’s already bought the ring and plans to propose by New Year’s and he hopes to have a celeb-studded wedding at their new home, Kathleen Turner will be back at Michael Douglas’ throat as his acid ex in The Kominsky Method to fill the hole left by Alan Arkin who abruptly pulled out of the third and final season of the show

Page 35: Matthew McConaughey’s father predicted he’d die while making love to his wife and he did, desperate to turn back time Marie Osmond is going whole hog on a head-to-toe makeover -- Marie is no stranger to cosmetic fixes and she is considering a slew of procedures to get a new look that’ll knock ‘em out including everything from Botox and fillers to face-lift to boob job and lipo-sculpting to enhance her waistline -- the makeover is motivated by revenge because she’s bitter over recently being pushed off her co-host gig on The Talk and now she’s counting on a younger look to land her a plum new TV gig

Page 38: Real Life Monsters

Page 39: Kris Jenner blames social media for ending the 14-year run of Keeping Up with the Kardashians because when the show started there was no Instagram or Snapchat or other social media platforms but now she gripes that now there are so many the viewer doesn’t have to wait three or four months to see an episode but instead information spreads online in real time, Phil Collins’ ex-wife has traded him in for a 31-year-old guitarist who never managed to make much noise in the music industry -- Phil was furious when he heard Orianne Cevey married Tom Bates in Las Vegas, Black Panther star Chadwick Boseman died without a will according to his widow -- Taylor Simone Ledward filed a probate case in L.A. asking a judge to name her administrator of Boseman’s estimated $938,500 estate with limited authority

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s daughter Rumer Willis claims posing for raunchy bondage shots proves she’s a liberated woman free from sexual stereotypes but it’s not that simple

Page 45: Jeff Bridges is battling non-Hodgkin lymphoma which is a rampaging cancer that often spreads through the body to the liver and bone marrow and lungs -- while the cancer can be deadly experts say the five-year survival rate is 73 percent

5 notes · View notes

themosleyreview · 4 years

Text

The Mosley Review: Best Films of 2019

Wohoo! 2019 has come and gone and man did it fly by. This year we had sooooo many fantastic films and this year was probably the hardest list to put together. I really wanted to include alot more, but I had to make a few cuts. Now I tend to keep my list to the traditional 10 films, but on some occasions I've extended it to 11. This is one of those occasions. I have one runner up that is worth mentioning and I think it should not be missed.

Missing Link: Many animated films are computer generated now and the art of hand drawn animation is rarely shown. The one type of animation that is all but extinct is stop motion animation. It takes time, patience and passion to bring to life characters with such sophistication and care in an almost forgotten art form. The masterminds at Laika are truly imaginative artist and this film shows that in every frame. Not many films take the story of the myth behind Sasquatch to fun places without being hokey and I was relieved that this film took it seriously and pumped so much fun and heart into the story and I think this was a hidden gem of 2019. Click the title for my full review.

Now, on to my list of 2019's best films of the year. If you want my full review of each film then go ahead and click the title of each film. First one up is definitely a fantastic sequel to a film that the author hated, but loved the film adaptation of his second book.

Doctor Sleep: The Shining is a classic that can never really be touched. Stephen King is famously known for disliking the film adaptation of his novel, but with his blessing placed upon Mike Flanagan's vision for the sequel novel, we got this magnificent film. Not only does this film pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick's film, but it also follows the same rules and visual structure while keeping the film fresh. The tone was consistent and the performances were across the board amazing. Ewan McGregor, Rebecca Ferguson and the talented Kyliegh Curran deliver absolute greatness. This film features stunning and intriguing dark moments, but definitely has one of the most disturbing scenes I've ever seen and its all because of Jacob Tremblay's performance in THAT scene.

Ready or Not: How many times have we seen the family initiation story in a romantic comedy? A dozen times I tell you! Well how about you take the same concept, throw in a fun horror version of hide and seek with a hint of the supernatural and great dark comedic writing. You get this fantastic film that is all of that and more. Luckily I stayed away from any major trailers for this film because in retrospect, the R rated trailer gave away too many of the fun gags. The performance of each family member was awesome and this was a standout performance for Samara Weaving. Every year from now on, this film will be on my Halloween watchlist. I loved this film and I can't recommend it enough.

Shazam!: Batman (1989), Superman (1978), The Dark Knight Trilogy and Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse are just to name a few of perfect adaptations of a comic book character to screen. This film was beyond perfection in many ways and the best DC film to date. This film had the right amount of fun, darkness and heart that embodies the life of the titular character. I could see the amount of genuine fun the cast was having on screen and the heartfelt performances of Asher Angel and Zachary Levi were outstanding. Jack Dylan Grazer stole the film with his amazing comedic speed and wit. This was truly a film I had high hopes for and it didn't disappoint.

Avengers: Endgame: How do you start a story in 2008 and bring it to an amazing and satisfying conclusion that wraps up 11 years of storytelling? You have a plan, a clear vision from the very beginning and with that it'll special success. Producer Kevin Feige set out on a journey to bring to life some of the best superheroes and keep them together in a cohesive and long formed narrative to complete a saga that's never been done before. He did it with the best talent behind each film's camera and The Russo Brothers have delivered the most epic film the superhero film genre has ever seen. I have waited my entire life to hear Captain America say "Avengers Assemble!" and I'm so happy I've lived long enough for my dream to come true. This was an emotional journey and end to The Infinity Saga. I really can say so much more about this crowning achievement in storytelling, but I'll keep this summary short.

Rocketman: It was only a mater of time before we got a biopic about the incomparable music legend Elton John. I was hoping that it would not shy away from his sexuality, addictions and his bright and explosive since of style. Well this film jumped right in and held nothing back and I loved every bit. It was truly a fantastical film that had enough gravity and style. The musical locations illustrate his most important moments in his life and are visually stunning and accurate recreations of his most iconic performances. Taron Egerton was Elton John and I loved that he sang all the music. This was truly a masterpiece.

1917: World War II films are a dime a dozen, but the World War I films are rare. Sam Mendes is one of the best directors and all of his films take you on a journey through the eyes, mind and soul of a character and he did exactly that in this film. The fact that this film is almost shot completely in one continuous take, gives every moment gravitas and tension as you watch our main character go along and across enemy lines to prevent an ambush. The score was truly haunting by Thomas Newman and my favorite piece from this film was from the flare scene. Such an stunning achievement in filmmaking should not be missed.

Joker: The clown prince of crime has had many iterations over the past 80 years. The most influential and canonical version of the character came from Frank Miller's The Killing Joke. Heath Ledger's take was iconic and made you scared because of his unpredictability. Joaquin Phoenix has taken the character and given a truly disturbing and authentic performance. As Arthur Fleck, we see through a constantly unraveling psyche, a man become a new and real kind of monster. Not only is this version the most unsettling, but it was beautiful. The cinematography was great and I loved how we got into the mind and heart of the character when he wasn't even speaking. This is a definition of how a person being pushed through horrible conditions can truly become a monster and yet be free. I loved this film and I think it will be studied in many acting classes from here on out.

Ford v Ferrari: There needs to be more racing films of this caliber! I love racing films that are not just about the cars, but also the drivers and their stories. This film was based on the true friendship between Carol Shelby and Ken Miles and I can't say enough how much attention to detail and heart that was put into every frame. The sound design in this film was crisp and powerful. The performances by both Matt Damon and Christian Bale was truly amazing and they had the best chemistry. Their fight scene was the funniest and most realistic fight I've ever seen between 2 friends. James Mangold is one of my favorite directors because of his focus on characters and story first before the action. This was a love letter to the world of racing and a respectful look at the lives of these pioneers of ingenuity and racing.

How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World: How do you make a perfect trilogy? How do you wrap it up with a satisfying and emotional ending? You focus on the story and stay true to the message and heart you started with in the beginning. You let the character bonds naturally grow and make each adventure a learning experience. This film was a perfect ending to the franchise and I can't stress how much I felt like I was with Hiccup and Toothless on their journey to this conclusion. The performances from the cast were stellar as always and although the villain may not have been as great, he still was a good addition. The visuals were the best and the textures in the scales and sand were out of this world. The score by John Powell truly brought me to tears as I got to say goodbye to my favorite companions. If you ever owned a pet, you known the emotional bond that is forged. This was the ultimate pay off and as a pet owner I saw my dog in Toothless' eyes. I will miss this franchise. If you're not crying by the end of this film then something is wrong with you.

The Peanut Butter Falcon: There are some independent films that take a risk in going outside of the norm and telling a story that nobody would have ever dreamed. This film was truly something special and I can't tell you how happy I was throughout. This film focuses on an individual with down syndrome whose dream is to become a wrestler and it is something truly inspirational and heartwarming. Zack Gottsagen was truly brilliant and awesome in this film. I loved his journey and his will to keep going. Shia Lebouf delivers an equally powerful performance and his chemistry with Zack was very sweet. This is one of the best films of 2019 and the most important films of the decade.

And here we are ladies and gentlemen! This is the moment you've all been reading toward. This film was an automatic choice for me the moment the end credits rolled. The crowing jewel of 2019 is none other than.....

Booksmart: I have seen so many high school teen comedies about partying or loosing your virginity before graduation, but never have I seen a film so engaging and focused on the bond of two bestfriends. Their bond was the heart and soul of the film and you couldn't have asked for a better pair of actresses. Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever were beyond perfection in every moment of this film and they had me cracking up left and right. Their adventure over the course of one night was truly fun and you are along for the hilarious ride. Billie Lourd nearly stole the whole film out from under them with her surprising and hilarious appearances. The music choices in the film were awesome as well. The comedy in this film was so fresh and from the first 6 minutes of the film you’re locked into these two ladies chemistry. I can't stress enough how much joy this film brought me and for a film to be on my mind for the entire year and to have me constantly recommending it to everyone I know is an achievement of itself. Olivia Wilde has directed a true masterpiece and new definition of a coming of age story. I can't stop gushing about this film so I'll finish off by saying WATCH THIS FILM!

And that is my list of the best films of 2019 and man has it been a great year in film. Lets hope 2020 starts off the decade with a bang! Thanks for reading everyone.

61 notes · View notes

turdblossommm · 4 years

Text

Marry Me {10}

Summary: Bucky and the reader are hopelessly in love with their best friends who are getting married, where the pair first meet. Will there friendship turn into something more or will it crash and burn?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

A/N: heeellloooo back at it again with another part

part nine // masterlist

“I have yet to go upstate, this is exciting” You smiled as Bucky drove out of the city

“Yeah my Ma wanted to get out of the city once me and my sisters were gone” The side of the roads were covered in a blanket of snow, that had to be your favorite part of New York. The snow here was much more magical than the snow you saw at home

“Just to remind you, please don’t get offended when my dad asks why you don’t celebrate Christmas”

“I will pretend to believe in the New Testament for your family” You smiled and Bucky watched you look out the window. You had been a little off since your fight with Clint, who you also haven’t made up with.

Bucky was also nervous about his family, they were very white collar people while your family was blue collar. He didn’t want anyone to offend you and it also doesn’t help that his mother always wanted him to end up with Natasha. She sounded happy that he’d be bring a plus one but he was nervous for when they see you.

He was also pretty sure Clint and Natasha would be there because her parents normally come to the Christmas party. Bucky was worried that the whole night would be a disaster between your feud with Clint right now. Bucky pulled up to the gate and watched your jaw drop as he punched the code into the gate

“You live here?” You asked

“My parents do” Bucky shrugged and grabbed the over night bags from the backseat and pulled you along the walk way to the house. He pushed the door open and allowed you to walk in the mansion first. You started in awe at the chandelier in the entry way that would probably never lasted at the ranch. Suddenly you almost felt embarrassed of your house and letting Bucky see your family.

“You okay?” Bucky asked and you nodded and followed him through the house

“Ma?” Bucky yelled and you saw a women walk into the massive kitchen you couldn’t stop staring at

“James” He embraced Bucky and you almost wished you did your hair instead of throwing a beanie on your head and maybe put a little makeup instead of the bare face “And you must me Y/N” She hugged and you slowly wrapped your arms around her

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Barnes” She pulled back

“Please call me Winny” You nodded and she turned to Bucky “You’re room is all cleaned and everything” She smiled and Bucky led you up the stairs. His room was the size of your apartment you had during college, it was a small studio apartment, making his room huge.

“There’s so much room for activities” You winked and Bucky chuckled as he rested his hands on your hips and left a trail of kisses along your neck sending shivers down your spine. You hummed in pleasure driving Bucky crazy and causing his pants to tighten

“You can swap spit later” You jumped away from Bucky as he groaned

“Go away Becca” He turned and glared at his sister

“I’m Becca” The second sister said

“I’m Rachel” The first one sassed

“I’m sorry Rachel” Bucky sarcastically apologized to the first sister

“I’m only joking I am Becca” She smiled and both walked out of the room

“They’re a nightmare” He grumbled

“James” He groaned as his mother called him and you giggled

“You think this is funny?” You nodded

“I think it’s hilarious James” You laughed and walked out of the room, Bucky trailing behind you. He walked into the kitchen where the rest of his family was sitting, he introduced you to his sister and dad. Bucky smiled and look around the kitchen and his eyes landed on the ham sitting next to the stove

“Are we just having ham for dinner?” Bucky asked

“Of course it’s the Christmas ham” George chuckled and you grabbed Bucky’s hand and whispered

“Don’t worry about it I can eat other things” Bucky shook his head and turned to his mom who reentered the kitchen, Winny saw Bucky’s eyes on the ham and your pleading eyes towards him whispering for him to stop. Winny pulled the tiny beef Wellington she had made and even found a Rabi to bless it for you. You turned to Winny when she placed a hand on your should

“I had a beef Wellington made and it’s kosher” You gave her a weak smile

“Thank you, you really didn’t have to go through all the trouble”

“Nonsense” She waved you off “James would’ve had my head” She clapped her hands “Now everyone go get ready guest will be here soon” You climbed the stairs after Bucky who had Rachel and Rebecca yelling at him to move it along. Once you got in the room you looked at Bucky and let out a laugh

“I really thought you were going to lose it over ham” He smiled

“Hey I’m making sure you being a good Jew” You laughed even hard

“Please I’m a total Jew for Jesus, he’s my number one Heb” You threw your head back and let out a loud laugh as Bucky joined you. He couldn’t stop looking at you, hat hair and all without a trace of make up. Your beauty surprises him more and more everyday.

While Bucky showered in the connecting bathroom you began to curl your hair that you rarely wore down, it was easier to keep in a bun in the lab. You stole glances at Bucky’s bare backside from the mirror

“Take a picture next time” He smirked as he died his hair with a towel and leaned against the counter

“Maybe I will” You wink and he grabbed you by the waist and carried you back to the bedroom and tossed you on the bed “We don’t have time” You giggled and his kissed down your neck and he growled that warmed your insides

“If you wait until tonight I’ll do that thing you like” You whispered in his ear and he perked up

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart” You smirked

“Fine” He pulled you off the bed and you walked back into the bathroom swaying your hips and he groaned “Put some pants on” You laughed as you started to prime your face. Once your simple make up was done you pulled your dress out of your dry-cleaning bag. It was a black tea length dress with a lace bodice and a drop waist, accenting all your best features

“Buck zip me please” Bucky enter the bathroom while trying to fix his cuff links and stopped when he saw you. He’s never seen you this way before

“Doll” You felt your cheeks warm as you looked at him through the mirror. His fingers left what felt like scorch marks as he zipped the dress. You smiled as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and you felt yourself fall. ‘Screw the agreement tongiht’ you liked Bucky and you wanted to pretend it was real for a little longer.

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off you as he led you down the stairs with your hand on his arm. Winny had watched her son pine over the same women for years, but he had never looked at her they way he looked at you tonight. Winny embraced you for the second time

“You look beautiful”

“Thank you” You smiled “You look wonderful” Winny kissed her son’s cheek as you went to talk to George who had questions about your religion

“She’s the one” Winny whispered and Bucky turned to look at you, watching you try to explain Passover to his father

“She is isn’t she?” Bucky muttered as his mother gave him a soft nod and he went and saved you from his father. He led you around the room, he marveled at how you worked the room and charmed all his relatives and family friends

“James” Bucky turned to Natasha’s parents “Mr. and Mrs. Romanoff” Bucky shook her dad’s hand and kissed her mom’s cheek “This is Y/N” You shook their hands as they smiled at you

“How did you two meet?” Mrs. Romanoff asked

“Actully at Clint and Nat’s wedding” Bucky smiled

“Oh I didn’t see you there” Mr. Romanoff turned to you

“Yes I was running a little, I was stuck in the lab” You gave them your best fake smile

“Lab? Are you a doctor?” He asked

“Techniqually, I have a doctorate but in mathematics but I’m a chemical engineer” You smiled and he raised his eyesbrows

“Got yourself a smart one James” Bucky nodded

“Yes I did” He smiled down at you

“It was good to see you James” Mrs. Romanoff grabbed his hand and they moved on and you let out a breath you were holding and Bucky let out a laugh and you swatted his arm

“I could see you sweating bullets”

“I don’t know why I was so nervous” You laughed

“Want get fresh air, see the garden?” You nodded and grabbed his hand as he led you out to the garden. He wrapped his jacket around you as he saw a chill crawl up your spine.

“Thanks” You pulled the jacket tighter around you

“I know you don’t celebrate Christmas but I got you something” He reached into his pants and you stopped him

“I got you something too” You smiled “After dinner?” He nodded and led you through the maze of would be flowers. You looked up to the stars and lost yourself in the sky. Bucky smiled down at you

“Thank you for coming” You shot him a quick smile at quickened his heart rate

“Course” You went back to the sky

“Look Y/N I have to tell you-“

“Dinner’s ready you two” Winny called from the deck and you quickly walked back into the house with Bucky behind you. Once inside you handed him his jacket back and turned to face to face with Clint and Nat

“James, Y/N I didn’t know you were here” Natasha embraced you and Bucky while Clint gave you a half hug and crushed Bucky’s hand. You sat at the table in between Rebecca and Bucky with Clint and Natasha across from you. Dinner was filled with polite conversations, Clint smirked as the ham was placed in front of you and you smirked back when Winny gave you some of the beef Wellington

“How you doing?” Bucky looked down at you

“This is so fancy and I don’t know which fork to kill myself with” You whispered and Bucky tired to keep his laugh in

“Y/N where did you study again?” Winny asked half way through dinner and Natasha perked up, she didn’t know very much about you, Clint never wanted to talk about you.

“Columbia, my brother actually just signed a letter of intent to Columbia as well and with be attending in the fall” You smiled

“Did you parents study their too?” She asked and you shook your head

“My parents didn’t go to college” You could feel eyes on you and Bucky’s hand on your thigh rubbing calming circles with his thumb

“Well it’s not for everyone right Rachel?” Winny smiled and Rachel nodded

“I’m not much for school”

“What do your parents do again Y/N?” You turned to Clint who had a smirk on his face, knowing damn well what your parents did. You cleared your throat and Bucky squeezed your thigh

“My mom owns a bakery and my dad is a third generation cattle farmer” Clint went back to his food with a satisfied smirk on his face. You felt like everyone was looking at you like you’re less than them, like they knew this is the first time you’ve had to figure out with fork is the salad for and which is the one for dinner. You wanted this dinner done before Clint could make you look like a bigger fool. Once dinner was done and all the dishes were cleared you were the first one up and out of the dining room.

Taglist: @hailqueenconquer @2ptonpt @sebbbystaaan

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes au #bucky x reader #winter solider imagine #winter solider x reader #winter solider fanfiction #Winter Solider #Marvel AU #marvel #Avengers #avengers au

41 notes · View notes

jbbuckybarnes · 4 years

Text

Distant Connection - 7/11

Pairing: Bucky x Harmonia (OC) Warnings: mentions of wicca/witchcraft, mention of parents death, gossiping about main character Summary: After an unknown group of goons took her mom’s life and tried to get her for the dark magic powers she possesses, this untaught witch is saved by the Avengers and brought to the compound where her new life unfolds.

MASTERLIST || Distant Connection Masterlist

After waking up pretty early again Harmony decided to go to the stone circle outside of the compound again. Something about this area in the early morning hours was deeply relaxing. She climbed up one of the rocks and sat on it with her face away from the building. She had a nightmare that night about seeing people dying and it still didn’t fully leave her system. Gore wasn’t something she usually dreamt about. She didn’t even watch horror movies. She had her little journal with her and wrote the rest of her erie feeling out of her system. Steve was watching her from afar after he finished his morning run. Something about her today was different. He could feel it and see it in the way she acted. After a while, she jumped down from the giant rock to put her journal back into her backpack and started training a bit. Seeing her pick up those gigantic rocks with her powers made Steve drop his jaw and as soon as she kicked it the opposite direction of him he got the chills. Training alone gave her some kind of balance that made it possible for her to cry. If the anger could leave her body, the sadness could go too. After watching her for a while he saw her picking up her things again and left for his room to not make her feel uncomfortable.

After a shower she picked up her sketchbook and some art supplies and left the compound to go to the tower again. She didn’t even think about the plans she made with James for the morning, she just needed a different environment to get her mind off things. She walked in to a few college students learning for their exams and two high schoolers hurrying to leave because their next lesson would start soon. After grabbing a snack she sat down in front of one of the laptops in the computer room and opened her book of shadows on a new page to write down the symbolism of her dream. There was something very soul-cleansing about spending the evening before and this morning alone with herself and her thoughts.

Someone sat down next to her while she was deep into reading an article on coping through dreaming. “Is everything okay, Harmony?” Steve’s voice asked beside her.

She looked away from the screen and at him, “Yeah, just need some alone time. Why are you asking?” “You are so different today. I saw you train and you were...not like you usually are,” he answered softly. “I had a nightmare but I’m fine. Promise.” she gave him a weak smile but she meant it. He put a hand on her shoulder, “I’m always here if you wanna talk about it, okay?” She nodded, “I know. Sometimes I just need a bit of time to understand things myself.” “You wanna be alone now?” He asked empathetic. “If you wanna stay you can. I don’t mind. Just don’t interrupt me too much.” She smiled before she got a nod and looked back onto the screen. The morning hours in the tower were actually quite nice, not a lot of people and still a lot of inspiration from Midtown Manhattan outside. Steve was drawing again, this time with markers, and she went on with reading about PTSD and other mental health things. The only sound interrupting the silence was her regularly eating a date from the snack package she grabbed or the closing and opening of a pen. “You know...he’s the old him around you,” Steve said out of nowhere after closing a marker. “I know. He just...he’s home,” she described it back to him. “And the only times you have a generally positive look on your face is when he’s around.” He went on. “You can be lonely in a room full of people until the right person comes around.” She smiled softly at the thought of the evening before. “You love him,” he said with a soft and knowing smile back. “Yes. Yes, I do.” A dumb little smile formed on her lips after saying that out loud. “He loves you too.” He opened the next marker. “I know.” Her heart made a little extra jump. “Why that?” He asked with a grin knowing that she was either about to list all the ways he made her happy or tell a great story of him admitting his feelings somehow. She opened her sketchbook on the page he had drawn. “That’s why you weren’t mad at him when you came out of the elevator.” He realized. She giggled and nodded at his little realization. “He can be really charming if he wants to, huh?” He joked about his friend. “Truly, with a little pinch of being afraid of me throwing him across the room with my magic...which I won’t say that it happened but I don’t wanna lie either.” She was back at her normal self again finally. Both of them started chuckling before they heard footsteps in the door, “It was her learning self-defense may I add.” James said with a smile. Her whole face lit up even more when she saw him there “What are you doing here?” she asked while pointing at the chair left to her. He walked over with a, “My two main idiots aren’t at the compound. Of course I look for you here after you told me about your art sessions. Turns out they are also gossiping about me sessions.” He winked with a smile on his face. Before sitting down he leaned forward and softly pressed a kiss onto her lips. This was the most perfect situation. His best friend deserved to know first and he was the most comfortable doing this in front of him. With one of his typical Steve smiles he asked, “How long have you been doing this right in front of my face without me knowing?” “Since the elevator incident,” James answered. “Great. Makes me feel really good about myself that me scaring you, kissing you where Steve can’t eavesdrop and you telling me my art is better than Steve’s is ‘The Elevator Incident’,” She chuckled. Both men started laughing loudly at her little sassy moment. “With a witch and an assassin, everything has a code name or is an incident...or both,” James said shrugging and smiling. He was sitting with his body towards her and his hand on the table in front of her where she grabbed it. He didn’t stop his breathing this time. Something about her warm hand on his cold one was calming him. “Actually...I made a painting of that incident.” She flipped open the page with her free hand. “That’s pretty.” James smiled at it and leaned forward to kiss her head. “Of course you like a painting of yourself dude.” Steve laughed. “It’s called being grateful and in love Steve!” He said giving him a slight punch on his arm with his free hand. “You sure you both aren’t blood-related?” She looked at both of them with a soft smile. “Nah, I would be way more of a dumbass if I was related to him.” James started. “But also a little more artistic.” Came back from the other side. “Damn, that hurt.” He said fake offended. Harmony just shook her head giggling, “I went here to learn but that’s impossible with two idiots left and right from me.” Their little chatting session was interrupted by a lot of school kids coming in. School was over for most of them and she realized how long she had been sitting there with Steve before James came.

The girl from last time sat down across from them with a little smile at Harmony. “Hey Lydia.” Steve beside her said with a smile. “Oh, she really came to you for help, huh? Told her you were a complete dork.” Harmony nudged her elbow into his side. “He is.” Came back with a bright smile. “Can we help you somehow?” She asked her. “Not unless you wanna write an essay about pop culture and its influence on spirituality in the last 10 years.” Came back a little bit exhausted. “I know a lot about it but really wouldn’t know where to start with it. Let me know if you need my help when it comes to nature religions and witchcraft.” Harmony answered. Her eyes got a little bigger when she heard witchcraft. “Wait. Tell me a little bit about witchcraft cause that’s something we didn’t talk about and that could get me a straight A.” She was excited all of a sudden. “Sure.” Harmony grabbed her book and came over to her to talk about her experiences with witchcraft. The two men just sat across from them staring for the longest time until Steve continued drawing and James stole her sketchbook and drew something into it too.

“Can I ask you something?” Lydia almost whispered. “Sure.” Harmony smiled knowing some weird question was about to come. “Are you...an Avenger?” Not what she expected. She shrugged her shoulders “Ask Tony. I can throw this one across a room,” She pointed at her boyfriend, “so I’ll assume yes.” “I didn’t defend myself. Just for the record,” he answered from the other side of the table. “No, you were distracted and called me a dork, remember?” She chuckled. “Yes, that shit hurt.” He almost mumbled it. “Too old for the job, huh?” She poked fun at him. “Don’t get too confident over there, little witch.” He smiled a heartwarming smile. “I’m always confident...soldier boy.” Her eyes narrowed with a smirk. “Get a room!” Steve now commented with a big smile on what happened in front of him. “Remember that both my room and his room are super close to yours? I think you would still hear us...talking.” That was a saved sentence there, the girl didn’t need to know about this. The little smirk that instantly vanished again from James’ face was only noticeable for her. “So...you are an Avenger? Cool.” Lydia smiled at her a little bit in awe.

13 notes · View notes

armada-of-ships-against-antis · 5 years

Text

My problematic ship dynamic 1: Snarry

Okay I was thinking the last days, when I saw a post going around on my dash about your personal favorite problematic ships. I started to think about reblogging it and wanted to come up with categories for what the ships are problematic and stuff. But now I think, I just want to write a series of posts about the problematic ships I have, why I have them, what dynamics I love about them, ect. The tag will be ‘my problematic ships’.

If you are a pro shipper: I hope you will enjoy reading a bit about it. And if you want to discuss about the ships, I would be happy to engage.

If you are a anti shipper / fandom policer I would advise you to stay away from it, but since I know that 99% of you won’t I hope you will read every fucking line of it and hyperventilate about how much I love my problematic ships and for what reasons. And I hope you will be enraged when you can’t change my stance on it, that I continue to love these ships no matter what you accuse me of or how much you insult me.

That being said: Good day to you, who reads this.

We start with Snarry (Severus Snape x Harry Potter)

[This post contains spoilers about Harry Potter]

How and when did I start to ship them? : I think I started shipping them around 2003-2004 (I was 14-15 at that time) when I read the fifth book, so Harry was pretty much my own age in the books during that time. Snape was already my favorite character since The prisoner of Azkaban and even more after I saw Alan Rickman portraying him in the movies. I can’t remember well what exactly made me think, I want to ship them, but I guess it has something to do the with Occlumency lessons. I guess it had also something to do that I personally had a crush on my math teacher in 2001 who could have been a real life Snape with his appearance and choice of clothes.

Do I like one character significantly more than the other? : YES! YES! And YES! When I started reading Harry Potter around 2000, I rooted for Harry and it was easy to like him for me. He knew how it was, when you where bullied, when you are the weirdo, ect. But my perception shifted with the third book. I realized that Harry had jumped at every chance to accuse Snape of anything bad so far. But my overall interest also shifted from the younger characters to the generation of Harrys parents. So I ended up loving Snape, Lupin and Black. But through the next books and the whole story I also liked Harry less and less. I found the pattern that every time he would accuse Snape, that Snape was doing the opposite and had in fact helped him. It’s funny how I still love Snarry as a ship when I love one character endlessly and pretty much dislike the other one. But I guess when I see myself in Harry’s shoes, whenever I read or write about them, it doesn’t bother me that much + in fanfiction we have room to make him into a character I like more.

Why is the ship problematic and do I love it for it or despite it? : Snarry can be problematic for several reasons.

1. Adult/Minor - Mostly despite it but also for it

The characters interact the most in canon when Harry is still a minor considered by wizard law (17 is the line) and always a minor when 18 is the line. Although I admit that like 95% of the plots I imagined included aging Harry up. I mentioned earlier that I was his age when I started shipping them, so it would appear unnecessary for me to feel better if I make him older. In fact I felt bad for the Character of Severus. In my mind I didn’t want him to commit a crime. Although I also had some plots where Harry definitely tried to push him, when he was still younger than 17. I also had some few stories about their life like 10 years later after the war and how Harry was now mature enough to see beyond his own bias, ect. I also had one when Harry went back in time in some “Back to the future” fashion and fell in love with a same age Severus.

2. Student/Teacher - Absolutely FOR IT

Very similar to the minor/adult theme but also it makes the ship a bit more problematic, because of the increased power imbalance. But I’m a total sucker for that dynamic. I had 3 crushes on my teachers, 2 while I was a teen and 1 when I was an adult and even if the canon material has nothing to do with student/teacher or mentor dynamic, I always love some AU with that shit.

3. Love-Hate - For it

They despise each other so much and yet I always think there is also a spark of other tension between them. This way or the other, strong feelings connect them. I’m not sure if you also say it in English like that, but in my language we say: Love and hate lie closer to each other than ignorance. Cause when you ignore someone you don’t waste your time, energy and thoughts on that person, but when you hate someone with a passion, you invest as much resources to think about them as when you love them.

4. Snape loved Harrys mother - Mostly despite it

The funny thing is here, I read that dynamic in a lot of fanfictions before the last book came out. It was a trope the shippers loved and used for both Lily or James and I was okay with it. It was a bit creepy, but tolerable. Until JK made it canon and it kind of destroyed Snarry a bit for me. Suddenly I felt less okay with that aspect. There is still a flair to the whole ‘I protected him because of her’ but my passion for Snarry dropped significantly after that revelation, since most of the newer fictions all included it. It feels like making that trope canon stole the diversity of how people ship them. That and of course Snape’s death.

5. Harry is also the son of Snapes biggest bully - For it

I think it’s some kind of irony when a character gets together with a relative of their biggest enemy. There is potential for struggle because he will be reminded of James but I love when someone writes it that Snape is finally able to see Harry as himself, as a distinct person and not just the son of James. Harry gets so often compared with his parents that I want him to grow out of it and others to see his growth.

6. Snape is one of main reasons for Harrys suffering - For it

The Slytherin potions master is not only bullying Harry openly during classes, he also seems to have a sixth sense for whenever Harry breaks the rules. He actively makes his life miserable although he rescues his ass many times. This would normally go into the love-hate relationship, but Snape is also the reason why Voldemort attacked the Potters in the first place. If he hadn’t overheard the prophecy and told the Dark Lord about it, Lily and James wouldn’t have died like that and Harry would never have been the boy who lived. We don’t know if both of them would have survived the war or not, but alone the possibility that Harry would have not grown up as a orphan who was taken in by the horrible family of his aunt. There lies an underneath guilt between Harry and Severus, something that can never be made up again. So I’m also a sucker for redemption arks and I love to read when the characters can acknowledge what damage was done, but can overcome it. In a way both of them are damaged mentally by their life and I want to imagine it all, the pain, the suffering, the dark thoughts that will be chased away by love and acceptance and the forgiveness. I want them both to slowly heal...

Finally I have to say that I now ship them for roughly 15 years and although my interest has died down (and sometimes flared up again for some time) it’s still one of my most loved ships I have. It helped me through one of my roughest times in life and it will always hold a place in my heart.

#armada #my problematic ships #pro problematic ships #harry potter #severus snape #mention of anti shippers #mention of fandom policers #fictional adult/minor #fictional student/teacher #fictional bullying #fictional love/hate

6 notes · View notes

aq2003 · 5 years

Text

FULL ENDGAME REVIEW

6.5/10 was ok but could’ve been a lot better in my opinion and by a lot better i mean

tony should’ve lived

-the russos are war criminals for what they did to tony alone. he had a family to go back to, JUST like clint. but i guess self sacrifice is cool, right?

-ever since iron man 3, tony’s story has essentially a dark twist to the “great power great responsibility” trope: the hero internalizes the motivating phrase (“don’t waste your life”), and let it interfere with their ability to take care of themself/open up to others. it started strong in iron man 3, got undermined in aou, got slightly more prevalent in the context of civil war, FINALLY got foreshadowed in infinity war. his arc was ultimately about letting other people HELP him with the responsibility he feels like he needs to carry

-until endgame threw it under the bus again. in an objectively cool way, yeah, but it still got thrown under the bus and i’m mad

-so now tony stark’s story is ultimately a tragedy. and i fucking hate it, man. he had happiness (but not really, because peter’s not there) for 5 years and that got snatched away from him too! he underwent so much trauma since his goddamn origin story and he had a few moments of peace, sure, but he died before he could fully reunite with his loved ones. and it SUCKS.

-god this is . this is like. if obi-wan kenobi went through All That but got really close to luke before he died and also never got any closure with anakin as a force ghost

-the russos have said, like outright, that thanos was a symbol of what tony’s been fearing of since 2012, the being that symbolized the root of his anxiety and ptsd. so what does tony do to defeat it? uhhh idk he dies i guess. but it’s okay! he can finally rest now!

-really great message there for the kids, right?

-also there was a whole sequence about him talking to his dad about not abandoning his kid and being there for her. but now he CAN’T be there for morgan because tony stark is fucking gone and dead and i can’t fucking handle this he deserves so much better

-also also not to be a DudeBroGeek™ but he totally got nerfed during his fight scenes

thor shouldn’t have been played off as a joke

-my whole theater laughed at him being . fat. and i was SUPER SUPER SUPER uncomfy the entire time

-he has a PANIC ATTACK and people LAUGHED i mean way to treat more of your mentally ill characters like shit, russos! sure! just devaluate thor’s suffering by saying “oh he’s fat so it’s funny now! hehe!” FUCK you

-i mean, yikes, i can’t believe we went from iron man 3 (where mental illness is one of the major problems the protagonist clearly struggles with, where tony’s panic attacks are disturbingly real and in no way funny) to THIS SHIT

-don’t even get me STARTED on his arc. like from thor 1 to dark world it’s about putting aside his arrogance for the good of his people. for ragnarok it’s finally stepping up and finding his powers while taking up the responsibility as king. in infinity war i was able to turn a blind eye to it, but it’s so prevalent in endgame how little the russos care about thor’s journey in his movies

-in the end he passes off the responsibility he took up in ragnarok to val and just straight up fucked off to space. like what the hell, man?

-ALSO . loki said the sun would shine on them again but the sun DIDN’T fucking shine on them and i feel robbed. i feel like the russos broke into my home and stole something important.

-the brodinsons deserve better.

-how can taika even be there, like physically. i mean. the thor from his movie got entirely retconned

-also not to be a DudeBroGeek™ again but. but like tony he was so 100% nerfed especially during the fight against thanos HOW did thanos even touch stormbreaker aka the weapon made to kill him like what

-i hate to put this all on james gunn but he’s GOTTA fix the crimes committed in endgame against the guardians and thor

steve’s entire character arc shouldn’t have been undermined

-one of his defining character traits is that he won’t stand by and let bad things happen when he can prevent it

-if you could describe steve rogers THAT’S what you would say about him.

-it’s like tony being smart. or thor being powerful. steve is just Like That

-so why did he go back in time when two full movies were dedicated to him adapting to the future

-idk it doesn’t really make sense to me

-i don’t actually have much to say about steve, i’m not as attached to his character as tony and thor but it still rubs me the wrong way. maybe it makes more sense to steve stans but from what i’ve seen they’re PISSED even though out of the trio he got the most time to shine in battle lmao

also

-the time travel fuckery was. hmmm

-nat wasn’t there for the admittedly cheesy but still sort of nice girl-power shot

-wong did nothing until the final battle. like him surviving the snap did nothing to impact the story

-why was okoye even on the poster? she should’ve gotten a bigger role imo

-WHAT was dr strange even doing holding back the water

-my brother (who watched the movie with me) thought that the lgbt rep in the movie was “america’s ass” rather than the gay russo in steve’s support group, which just goes to show that the lgbt rep is SO small and the media should really stop hyping it up. not really salt towards the movie itself but it’s still salt

-fortnite

general saltiness out of the way, i’m going to list what i did like about the movie

-those posts going around about how knowing the spoilers take away from the movie are actually really, really wrong. i went in knowing more than half the plot including who lives and dies and i still found it entertaining, to say the least. the movie had a lot of effort put into making it and it really shows. if you ignore the parts you don’t like, you can actually kick back and have a relatively good time

-also the action was really, really good. throughout the entire movie. it’s an avengers film, so the action has to be good, but the fights were still super awesome and a lot were actually a cut above the rest of the mcu (especially the melee fights)

-the final battle was amazing. up until the end, i was on the edge of my seat, because even though it’s another “big final battle against an army of cgi monsters” i actually really really liked it. pretty much everything was perfect about it, and it was so fun to watch the theater go ham whenever a hero did something badass.

-the score. god, the score. alan silvestri did so good with calling back motifs from other solo mcu movies (something marvel should’ve been doing the entire time). ant man’s theme after scott pops out of the quantum realm, captain america’s march when tony hands the shield back to steve, the reprise of “even for you” from infinity war during clint and nat’s mission to vormir, captain marvel’s theme when she blows up thanos’ ship? beautiful

-the actors did a superb job with everything they were given (which probably wasn’t that much). since the russos were paranoid about spoilers apparently no one knew who they were talking to which sucked? because the marvel cast is pretty good at improv lines. but the actors still did a REALLY good job despite this (and really do carry the movie). i felt in my BONES tony’s frustration and anger at steve during the wheelchair scene, thor’s pain and self-loathing when he reunited with frigga, and peter’s DESPAIR when he watched tony die (i will never be okay ever)

-the callbacks to previous mcu movies were fanservice, yeah, but it was the GOOD kind of fanservice in that it was really really cool and served the fans. it’s a great way for the last movie in the infinity saga to end, by revisiting some of the iconic places it touched on before

-tony and nebula! they were only together for the first scene of the movie but the scene with paper football was really soft and nice

-the civil war conflict was glossed over save for that one scene of tony going the fuck off on steve and i couldn’t be more grateful

-MORGAN STARK. god if i had the capacity to cry i’d be sobbing through writing this entire post. morgan and her soft dad made my heart MELT into pieces i love them 3000

-they still deserved better though

-scott. like in general. he was one of the highlights of the movie. his reunion with cassie was :’)

-carol’s haircut

-by the way a lot of people complained about her makeup in her first scene with the avengers shown in the trailers but it literally wasn’t a problem for any other carol scene in the movie (because that was the only scene in the entire runtime where she was wearing noticeable lipstick/eyeshadow or whatever)

-professor hulk. i actually didn’t expect to like him, but he made a lot of actually funny jokes and i liked his personality contrast with 2012 hulk. also he made scott tacos! he’s really wholesome and i’m willing to ignore the part where he dabbed

-the mark 85 is one of my favorite iron man suits now, even though it didn’t get a lot of screentime

-speaking of which it’s REALLY great how most of the time when tony saves the day it’s because of his smarts. it brings back the main theme of the character: tony stark, the human, plays ball with gods, aliens, and monsters just by being quick witted.

-the entire sequence of tony, steve, and scott getting the scepter and the tesseract was PURE gold. (it’s my favorite part of the movie honestly)

-tony: ok scott to create a distraction i need you to put my past self into cardiac arrest. \ scott: uhh. uhh ok dude?? \ tony: my self loathing is this strong

-rhodey and nebula! they were an awesome teamup and i really really liked their friendship/dynamic

-PEPPER IN RESCUE ARMOR. WE DIDN’T GET ENOUGH OF THAT BUT IT WAS SO GOOD I LOVED IT HER ARMOR DESIGN WAS REAL GREAT

-tony reuniting with peter. i teared up. legit. i teared up.

-thanos: *headbutts carol* \ carol: *doesn’t even move an inch*

-wanda was so badass in her 10 second scene. i just thought it was really cool

-peter using instant kill mode

-tony using the gauntlet was badass. i hated it but it was SO amazing at the same time i wanted to cry and cheer at the same time so i ended up in a semi catatonic state for the rest of the day

-the little wreath with the first arc reactor, morgan craving cheeseburgers, tony’s last message.....;-;

-i love you 3000.....:((((((

-SAM GETTING TO BE CAP. (this was one of the best parts of the all-new all-different avengers comic) even though i still don’t like steve’s ending, i love that sam is going to take up the mantle (and i’m super excited to see the falcon winter soldier show now)

-the movie ended with the soundtrack of tony building the mark 1 solidifying that none of this would’ve happened without iron man. good thing endgame credits said that maybe tony stan lives do matter

-a rat is responsible for saving half the universe and i find that REALLY funny. my favorite theory is that the rat was loki the whole time and that doubles the hilarity

tldr: the movie had an ending that didn’t really fit the characters, but the rest of it was fun to watch: the action scenes were great, the interactions between the characters were mostly good, and it’s overall pretty entertaining as a film by itself. as a closing to the infinity saga it feels unsatisfying, but as a movie it’s enjoyable

#endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #read my post it's good and coherent #i say some bad stuff about the movie but i also list the stuff i liked. see im cool

8 notes · View notes

lolablackwrites · 5 years

Text

Writer’s Retreat, Part 20 - MC, Kaitlyn, RCD MC

Summary: MC (Charlotte) goes out to breakfast with Kaitlyn and their friend, Frankie, where surprising announcements are made.

Notes: Thank you to everyone who has been so encouraging and supportive of this series so far, you are all wonderful and I appreciate you so much ❤️ We’re getting closer to the end!

If you’re new to this series, you can check out the previous installments here: Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15,Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19.

Tagging: @mfackenthal, @i-dream-so-i-write, @enmchoices, @bruhvs, @maxattack-powell, @kennaxval, @hhiggs, @tmarie82, @regrettingnathan, @littlegreenmoo, @sunglassy, @mimiashton, @syltti78, @moodygrip, @hamulau, @zigthetwig, @zilch3, @greyeyedsmile14, @shirinalshabra, @josieschoices, @mr-sinclaire, @bobasheebaby, @emerald-bijou

If you’d like to be tagged in future installments, let me know. I’ve gotten a few requests lately and I’ve made a tag master list so I can try to make sure I don’t miss anyone who wants to be tagged.

Fanfic Master List

A couple of days later, Charlotte was rudely awoken by her blaring cell phone. Zig grunted at the sudden noise as Charlotte groped blindly on her nightstand for her phone. She quickly hit the button on the side to silence the alarm and squinted at her screen.

Breakfast with my favorite sister!

“Is everything okay?” Zig mumbled, rolling over to wrap his arm around her waist. Charlotte sighed and put down her phone.

“Yeah, sorry. Apparently Kaitlyn decided I’m having breakfast with her this morning and programmed an alarm on my phone,” Charlotte said as she put her phone face down on the nightstand.

“But it’s so comfy in here,” he murmured, pulling her tight against him as he kissed her neck.

“Trust me, I’d rather stay here, but if I don’t get up, Kaitlyn is liable to burst in here. And believe me, she is loud when she doesn’t get what she wants.”

“Your sister is always loud,” Zig said, his face buried in her hair, as Charlotte’s phone chirped loudly with an incoming text message.

“You’re not wrong,” she said with a laugh as she reached for her phone.

I know he’s hot, but get the fuck out of bed and come meet me.

As she was reading the text, a second one chimed.

Please call me when you get a chance, I’m off work all day.

It took Charlotte a moment to register who the second text was from. Shit. She’d wanted to respond to Chris’s last text message, but she hadn’t known what to say. Now she was officially ghosting him and she hated it. She sat up, her fingers hovering over the screen, before she finally typed out a message.

I’m about to meet my sister but I could maybe call later.

His reply came immediately.

Sounds good, no rush

Charlotte put down her phone, heart pounding. She had no idea what she was going to say to Chris, but she knew she couldn’t avoid this conversation forever. Or rather, she guessed she could, but she was trying to be less of a shitty person since breaking up with James.

“I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but do I have to go to breakfast?” Zig asked sleepily. Charlotte smiled down at him fondly as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed a patch of bare skin on her hip.

“Nope,” she said, scooting over so she could lie down beside him again. “You’re driving back to Maine today, you need your rest.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, already starting to drift off again. Charlotte kissed his cheek and he tilted her lips to his, kissing her sleepily.

“Yes, go back to bed. I’ll be back in a bit and then we can spend your last day here however you want.”

“Oh, I know how I want to spend it,” he said with a smirk, eyes still closed, as he let his hand drift down her side to her leg, pulling it over his hip.

“I thought you were tired,” she laughed.

“Oh god, I am,” Zig said, letting his body go slack against the bed. The night before, they’d spent a night out bar hopping and they’d stayed out so late they’d closed the bars. And when they got home . . . well, Zig had reason to be tired today.

“I’ll see you later,” Charlotte said. “But when I get back, I expect you to have taken these off,” she said, tugging at the ties on her purple pajama pants he wore.

“I promise,” he mumbled.

“Why did you insist on meeting so early?” Charlotte asked when she arrived at the bistro and collapsed into a chair next to her sister.

“8 AM isn’t early if you go to bed at a reasonable hour,” Kaitlyn said, raising an eyebrow at her. “Although, judging by that hickey on your neck, I have a feeling you stayed up a little too late.”

Charlotte shrugged. “Worth it.”

“By the way, Frankie’s meeting us here,” Kaitlyn said as she signaled to the server for a cup of coffee for Charlotte. “She said she had something she wanted to tell us.”

“She finally needs help moving a body?”

“Oh, please,” Kaitlyn scoffed. “Frankie doesn’t need help hiding her bodies.”

As if on cue, Frankie came rushing in and sat down at the table. “Hey, twins, sorry I’m late.”

“She only got here a minute ago,” Kaitlyn said, hiking her thumb at Charlotte.

“Hey, in my defense, I didn’t know we were meeting until my alarm went off this morning,” Charlotte protested, narrowing her eyes at her sister.

“Yeah, I stole your phone last night and programmed an alarm while you were playing pool with Zig,” Kaitlyn said nonchalantly.

“Speaking of,” Frankie said, leaning across the table. “Spill. Immediately.”

“Spill what?” Charlotte asked innocently. “Ow!” she yelped as Frankie kicked her lightly in the shin.

“You know what,” Frankie said. “Last I talked to you, you were still in Maine because James hid you up there.” Charlotte grimaced but didn’t disagree. “And suddenly, you’re back early with this gorgeous man attached to your face and Kaitlyn tells me there’s another one?”

“You should see the other one,” Kaitlyn said as she took a sip of her water. “He looks like he fell out of a Ralph Lauren catalogue.”

Charlotte sighed, knowing there was no way she was going to get out of this. After they ordered their food, Charlotte relayed the whole story to Frankie, starting with her first day in Maine and ending with Zig on her doorstep.

“Oh my god,” Frankie said, enthralled by Charlotte’s story. “So, now what?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” Charlotte admitted. “Zig offered to transfer somewhere closer to me, but I can’t let him do that, we barely know each other.”

“So?” Kaitlyn asked. “If you know, you know.”

“That’s just it, I don’t know if I do know,” Charlotte countered.

“Look, I’m not going to pressure you one way or the other, but . . . I mean, Zig came to Boston. And I like Chris a lot, but you haven’t heard anything from him since you left Maine.”

Charlotte squirmed a little in her seat.

“OH MY GOD!” Kaitlyn shouted, drawing the stares of other patrons in the restaurant. Charlotte felt her face flame.

“Jesus, Kaitlyn, we’re sitting right here,” Frankie said.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kaitlyn hissed at Charlotte, lowering her voice to a loud stage whisper that still gave the rest of the bistro a clear audio on their conversation. “When did you hear from him?”

“About a week ago,” Charlotte said. Kaitlyn snatched her phone away before Charlotte could stop her.

“And this morning, apparently,” Kaitlyn said, deftly unlocking her sister’s phone and scrolling through her texts. “You’re going to call him later?”

“I think so. I don’t know,” Charlotte said.

“Doesn’t this say something?” Frankie asked, keeping her voice low in an effort to get the rest of the tables to stop listening to their conversation. “You’ve been spending the last few days here with Zig but you’re not responding to Chris. It sounds like you’ve made a choice.”

“I don’t deserve either of them!” Charlotte exclaimed. “I just spent the last year as James’s mistress; that hardly qualifies me to be a decent girlfriend to anyone.”

“Charlie, I swear to god, you have to stop talking like that or I’m literally going to chuck this glass of water if your goddamn face,” Frankie said. Charlotte recognized that look; Frankie wasn’t kidding. “Relationships are complicated. Shit happens. Just because you made a mistake--”

“For a year,” Charlotte interjected, but Frankie ignored her.

“--doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself for the rest of your life,” she continued. “You, my friend, deserve to be happy.”

Charlotte felt tears prickle at the corners of her eyes but she swallowed hard, pushing away the knot in her throat. She glanced over at Kaitlyn, who had gone oddly quiet.

“Twin, what do you want?” Kaitlyn asked.

“I . . . I don’t know,” Charlotte said. “And I hate constantly saying that I don’t know, but it’s true.” She paused. “You know, in my book, Ana just chooses to be alone.”

“Yeah, I read it,” Kaitlyn said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “And if I thought you actually wanted to be alone, I’d let this go. But I really don’t think you do. I think you know who you want to be with, but you’re afraid.”

“And what, exactly, am I afraid of?” Charlotte asked, narrowing her eyes at her sister.

“You’re afraid he doesn’t want you back. Which is stupid, because he obviously does.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough,” Charlotte said. “We’re not even here to talk about me. I thought Frankie had some big announcement.”

“Hey, don’t look at me, I’m happy to keep analyzing your life instead,” Frankie said with a grin. Charlotte balled up a napkin and threw it at her, which Frankie caught with a laugh. “Okay, fine, you get a break for a minute. But only a minute,” she warned, holding up a finger.

“Ugh, fine,” Charlotte huffed with an exaggerated sigh, thankful to have the spotlight off of her, no matter how briefly.

“Well, you’re right, I do have news,” Frankie said, sitting up a little in her seat. “So, you guys know that I’ve been trying to find a tattoo shop that will take me on as an apprentice.” Both sisters nodded. “Well . . . I found one.”

“That’s amazing!” the twins chorused. “Which one?” Charlotte added.

“That’s the thing . . . it’s in New York.”

Charlotte and Kaitlyn stared at her, dumbfounded.

“WHAT?” Kaitlyn shouted.

“Jesus Christ, Kaitlyn, you have to stop doing that,” Frankie hissed at her as several heads in the restaurant turned towards them again.

“You couldn’t find a shop in Boston?” Charlotte asked, disappointment flooding her chest at the idea of one of her best friends moving away.

“I can, but this one is really special. There’s this one artist I’ve idolized for years, Thomas Hunt, and he’s the one who agreed to take me on.”

“Is he the one that did that really amazing Sid and Nancy tattoo you showed me?” Kaitlyn asked, trying to remember.

“That’s the one,” Frankie said happily, straightening up a little in her chair. “I was up there a few weeks ago visiting a friend and I just went by the shop one day. I don’t know what got into me, but I went into his shop and asked to speak to him.”

“Actually, that sounds exactly like something you would do,” Kaitlyn interrupted, raising a teasing eyebrow. Frankie rolled her eyes, but she smiled.

“Okay, maybe it is. Anyway, he was not thrilled to have me just walk in, but for some reason he agreed to look at my artwork. It felt like he looked at it forever without saying anything, and then he told me he’d be willing to teach me.”

“Frankie, that’s huge!” Charlotte exclaimed. “I mean, I’m really bummed you’re moving, but this sounds incredible,”

“Thanks,” she said, unable to suppress a huge grin. “It really is.”

“We’re happy for you,” Kaitlyn assured her. “We’re just selfish bitches you want to keep you all to ourselves.”

“And, hey, New York isn’t that far away,” Frankie pointed out. “If Zig can drive all the way down from Maine, you guys can certainly come up to New York and vice versa.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Just when I think I’m getting a break . . .”

“I have something I want to talk to you about.”

Charlotte looked over at her sister. Kaitlyn had been uncharacteristically quiet on their subway trip home until that moment. “What is it?”

“Well,” Kaitlyn started, then hesitated. “If you’re not okay with this, then just say the word, it’s fine. You really don’t have to.”

“Why don’t you tell me what you want before answering for me?”

Kaitlyn took a deep breath. “I want to ask Annisa to move in.”

Charlotte stared at her twin, a slow smile creeping across her face. “Really?”

“Okay, stop, don’t get all weird about it,” Kaitlyn said, looking away quickly.

“I’m not getting weird about it,” Charlotte said. “Twin, this is exciting!”

“Really?”

“Don’t you think it’s exciting?”

Kaitlyn smiled a little. “Yeah, I do.”

“What changed? When you visited me earlier this summer, you weren’t into it at all.”

“I don’t know,” Kaitlyn said. “But a couple weeks ago, she stayed over and when I woke up in the morning, I saw her sleeping next to me and I realized that this is what I want. Her and me, every day.”

“Oh my god, twin, you’re going to make me cry,” Charlotte said as happy tears threatened to spill down her face.

“Okay, can we not right now?” Kaitlyn asked as she looked around the subway car. “People are staring.”

“Oh, so now you care if people are staring?”

Part 21

If you enjoy my writing style, please consider supporting me on Patreon! 💕

15 notes · View notes

cassandraclare · 6 years

Text

Q&A TLH

free-elvves said: Can you say anything about the relationship Lucie has with Matthew, Thomas, and Christopher? It seems like they would be friendly, since Cordelia wasn't in London pre-series. Thanks!!

They are all very friendly! The boys are constantly hanging about the house: if Lucie finds one of them sleeping on the hearthrug she'll just step over them on her way to her writing desk. In some ways, Lucie treats them all as her brothers, and tells them off and loves them and worries for them and involves them in her madcap schemes. Lucie is the closest to Thomas, since Christopher is somewhat hard to get a grasp on and Lucie can tell Matthew is keeping something back from her. Lucie and Thomas get each other: they do lessons together, and Lucie and Thomas are both reeeeally stubborn.

Apprehension stole across Thomas’s face. “Lucie, you must not challenge Grace to a duel.”

“We shall see where the night takes us,” Lucie declared.

“Oh good,” said Thomas. “I see you intend to Herondale to the fullest.”

crimzielightwood said: Hi again! I know you probably get this a lot but I love the world you created!! I honestly cannot go a day without something relating to Shadowhunters in any way! I love all of your characters, but I am basically in love with your minor characters (Sophie, ahem)! I was wondering if we will get anything regarding Barbara and Eugenia? We know a lot about Thomas, Christopher, Anna, James, Matthew, ect.... (I don't know why but I had always hoped Charles and Barbara would have a thing...)

There was a Barbara snippet pretty recently you may enjoy — check the TLH tag on my tumblr. ;) Barbara and Eugenia aren't major characters, as they aren't part of the main TLH gang: they consider themselves very grown-up ladies. Barbara's the same age (23) that Charlotte was in TID, and Charlotte was married, running an Institute, herding teens and all sorts. They're Thomas's big sisters, and they think Thomas is a perfect baby, and Thomas's friends are a year younger than he is, so Barbara and Eugenia are both like “you are all tiny rascals! You are barely born and you are so much trouble!” They're fond of them, to an extent, but they worry Thomas is being led astray.

Barbara's affections are otherwise engaged when we start the book... but who knows what her ultimate fate may be. ;P A romantic entanglement of Eugenia's may surprise you! Barbara and Eugenia both like Charles (whether romantically or otherwise), for what it's worth--they think he is a fine sensible man and wish the wild foursome would listen to him.

princekierz said: Hi Cassie. Let's suppose that one ships Alastair and Charles, how happy that one would be with their relationship in TLH in a scale from 1 to 10?

(I see crimzielightwood and princekierz are going to fight! Who will win Charles Fairchild's heart... Charles is engaged when TLH opens, though not to Barbara or Alastair, but the ultimate fate of every TLH character is a mystery.) I have not disclosed the sexuality of most of the TLH characters: we are going to have more LGBTQ representation and relationships in the books, but between who, I will not say: I think it's more fun to find out in the story, and also that it is often not good to know things before the characters themselves do.

I see you, cunning spoiler hunter. Is 1 they distantly nod to each other from across a room, and 10 they roll in a torrid embrace beneath a piano? In any case, any number would clearly be a spoiler, and I'm not giving anything away — so I really couldn’t say whether you’ll be happy or not. Alastair certainly likes Charles (whether romantically or otherwise...), and that is pretty impressive going on Charles's part, since Alastair likes exactly four (4) people in the world. Alastair, Barbara, Eugenia, the Clave generally, they all like Charles—he is popular. Politicians, they have to be able to win hearts and minds!

#the last hours #tlh #tsc

933 notes · View notes

l-a-scarlett · 5 years

Text

Misunderstanding

1322 words

They used to be in love with each other,

Now they avoid each other .

They used to be so close that they need others to rip them apart,

Now they can't even stay in the same place with 10 meters away.

They used to be one of those sweet loving couple,

Now they act like they don't even exist in each others life.

They used to be so happy, strong, lovely, and loyal couple,

Now they're nothing but strangers.

That's what they think, At least both of them think.

.....

Alex was walking home, just finished her paper works from her office.

Walking home, she found herself walking around a familiar path towards the park, already walking and needing some fresh air, she decided to go along.

Nothing would go wrong if she choose to take that path on her way home right? Nothing can go wrong in the middle of the Christmas Eve

But then Alex bump into someone

"Sorry"

"No, I'm sorry"

Time stop as their eyes meet

"Hey" He said, The first one to recover

"he.... Hey"

Alex face (forced) lit up

"It's been a while since we last saw each other right? " They decided to take a short break by sitting down on one of the bench.

Just like that, the snow suddenly fall over

"yeah, the last time was... Full of screaming, crying.. " She didn't continue but she stare at her lap looking at the snowflakes that falls on her lap

"How are you Alex " He smile at her

How could he smile like that?

"I'm good, I guess, Much better without you? " She make sure that it doesn't sound so bitter that she laugh it off

Quit pretending to be okay.

"Good to hear" He smile

But it feels like there's something wrong with his smile

But she shrug it off. So on with the pain sensation on her chest

"You, how are you Lance? "

"I'm good. Just like you"

But I lied. And you didn't

"how..... " She hesitate for a moment but continue as she watch the snowflakes fall into both on them

" How is she, Lance? " He look at her for a moment then smile

He never smile like that back then when were together, he never smile like that.

Maybe because he never loved me.

Oh how he wish he never love Her

"She's fi---"

"Lance! "

There she is.

The girl that stole away the man of her life.

The used to be man of her life

"Babe! " Then in front of Alex, their they stood, she watch them as they both close the gap in between there lips.As they make a casual conversation in-front of her. Just like she was never there.

Oh how they both wish she never saw that.

Gripping through her scarf, when she notice something

The baby bump, she looks like she was 6 months pregnant, and it's been 5 months since you found out that Lance was cheating on you with the same girl right in front of her. Now.

So something really happened between the two of them

letting out a deep breath.

"Sorry I'm leaving" I hope you're happy

With that she run away, not even realizing something fell out of her pocket

It hurts so bad for her to realize that her phone has been fallen out of her pocket, she continue her way out of the park, tears in her eyes threatening to fall, leaving her heart broken by the man she thought she was finally over with

'Oh how clueless she is'

.....

He watched Alex as she walk away, he pull himself away from the girl he just show an affection with, he stare at her showing no emotion

" I told you to stay in the apartment! Why did you come out? " Giving no care about her excuses he picks up Alex phone

"hey! " He called the guy who just walk past him

"give this to the girl who just run away" He stated, at first the guy just look at Lance, but nodding, he decided to follow Alex with her phone

Lamce who just sigh in relief and heartbreak, Just stare at the ground He didn't mean to hurt Alex. Oh god, he fucking love her. It's just mistakes happen and boom, this girl in front of him was now carrying his child, leaving Alex heart broken and him not satisfied,

It's his fault for not using any protection that night. And his fault for getting drunk that night.

It's his fault for breaking his own heart.

.....

"Who's the father? "

"wha... What kind of question is that Lance? "

"Don't play shit with me! We both know I have blue eyes and you have brown! So what is it? , it just happened that that child has a fucking Green eyes and hair that doesn’t even match ours!? Seriously Mitch seriously !? "

By the time the child came out, he simply decided to confront her right after the discharge and when they finally reach the apartment just like what's happening now.

"Answer m-"

"It's James! Okay?! I just love you so much! " With that Lance walk past her, and started to pack his thing

"Whe-where are you going? " Mitch question

"leaving you, wasn't that obvious? " His voice has cold

"You can't leave me! Our wedding was 5 days away! "

" Go marry that bastard. He's the father of your child anyways, I never love you. Never. " Then the baby starts to cry.

"Still her. You still love her. Don't you"

"maybe if you ain't a bitch you'll have the chance of winning my love, but this? " he smile but that was the most scariest smile.

"Go fuck yourself I'm leaving. "

"Please. Don't leave me. I love you" He didn't even give her a second glance as he slam the apartment door behind his back.

This is all his fault.

.....

4 years later.

.....

"Damn, It's so cold here in London" Lance rub his right had as he look at his phone, snow falling

'My teammates should be here' He thought as he shove his phone in his pocket

Sighing he started to find a bench to sit in, being an professional volleyball player that represents a country can be hard sometime.

'Seriously, Where are they?' He thought as he look in front of him to see a bench

But then he stop mid ways. He saw her. Sitting there.

The girl he kept on finding for the past few years was right in front of him.

Alex was on her phone, as if she were texting someone.He watch her as she place it on her bag as he eyed Alex carefully

Then he saw her looking at him and wave her hand smiling

He was stun for a moment but smile and started to jog towards Alex only to stop when someone bump into him

"Oh sorry bro" He was then stun in place as he watch the guy

The guy he ask to return her phone, now hugging the girl he always love.

He stood there speechless.

"Lance!" He hear his teammates called him

"Sorry were late, we get lost" They laugh.

Clenching his teeth, the glance at her laughing form,

At least your happy He thought and turn around

"let's go" Lance said, back facing Alex.

I love you

I never stop loving you.

.....

Alex place her phone inside her bag, then look in front of her as she watch the snow fall. London is extremely beautiful

"Alex! "

Huh?

Alex look at the guy in front of her

"Andrei! What are you doing here?! " She laugh as she hug him

"You! What are you doing here? " Andrei laugh

"It's been almost 3 years since we last saw each other! " She tap the vacant spot beside her the bench to make him sit

"4 years actually " He correct

"whateve--"

"Lance! " Automatically you faced the direction where you hear his name

Lance.

she saw him chatting with his teammates. She always thought he would be a good player, He’s always the MVP back then in high school

He look so professional right now.

'I wonder if he's happy now' she smile bitterly

It's been 4 years Lance, I wonder how your family look like.

"uhm, Alex? "

"hmm? "

"You okay? "

"Yeah, I'm fine" Not okay You said looking at Lance back

At least your happy she thought as she keep looking at his form

Alex watch him as he finally vanished from her sight

I'm proud of what you've become Lance, With or without me I'm so proud of you I love you.

.....

The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding

#short story #misunderstanding #sorry not sorry #teen fiction #lovers #relationship #im done

2 notes · View notes