#he literally said he was relieved he didn’t have to deal with it this season

[zutarawasrobbed]

I’m sorry, but the Netflix showrunner referring to Kataang as an “issue to tackle” in the future is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever read/heard.

#the way I choked #he was directly referencing k@taang in his answer too. #the age gap was already a problem in the original show #now you just see it the way Zutara has the entire time because you see it in real life actors their age #the maturity difference between a 12 and 14 year old is insane #he literally said he was relieved he didn’t have to deal with it this season #and he just kept going too 😭 #I’m not a fan of the ship but DAMN he did them so dirty #avatar the last airbender #zutara #atla live action #anti k@taang

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#8: Must've Been Something Else Then (S3E16)

I adore this scene to the moon and back. 😍 It's at this moment that Rick officially lets Michonne know she's a part of the family. And of course, he does it with a dash of flirtation. 😋 Truly, this lovely scene feels like the earliest moment of the two hinting that there’s something oh so special between them...

I love the staging of the scene as it opens with Michonne looking up at Rick as he walks down the stairs. And there's just something sweet to me about the way they walk alongside each other in those color-coordinated outfits. 😊

It’s always commendable seeing that Michonne is so understanding of the difficult position Rick was put in with the Governor's deal about her. And it’s great that she directly addresses it rather than tiptoe around it.

Not only is Michonne understanding, but she’s still so completely on Rick's side and it shows how much she has always seen Rick for the good man he is. They trusted each other before they knew they trusted each other, I’ll say it over and over. 😊

And it’s nice that Rick gets to be met with compassion when so many other times characters have not given him this kind of genuine compassion.

Then it’s good to hear Rick give a sincere sorry for how close he came to giving her up. Michonne proceeds to do what she’ll do many times in their relationship and reminds him of the good in him when she tells him “But you didn’t.” She’s confident that giving her up is really not what Rick wanted, and she’s right.

Once they got past their initial sussing-you-out tension, Michonne really did become Rick's bond that flowed with the most ease of all the characters. And she built him back up at every turn, even here in season 3 by affirming he's still a good person.

It’s nice cuz I feel like Rick is a character who can take on a lot of guilt, so it’s great seeing another character so assuredly relieve him of guilt to remind him that he might make controversial choices but he’s not a monster.

(& I have a feeling in TOWL, Rick will again be wrestling with a lot of guilt since he feels like he "failed" at getting home, but fortunately, the one person who can most restore him and relieve his guilt is on her way to save him both literally and emotionally 🤗)

So Rick nods and then I love this silent little lingering look they have. The chemistry. 😏 I always think one of the cutest elements of Richonne's pre-canon days is the way they both so clearly feel this attraction to each other but are trying to keep it at bay - but like that passionate tension between them can’t help but seep out because...

And in this subtle lingering moment, you can feel that while Rick and Michonne are in the early stages of their relationship, something more is absolutely brewing between them underneath. Anytime they look at each other long enough, that becomes clear.

Then Michonne acknowledges she never thanked him which is kind that after everything with the Governor deal, she actually wants to thank Rick. And it's also nice cuz the first thing Michonne ever said to Rick was, 'I didn’t ask for your help.' So it shows she's had some growth since then to now want to thank Rick for the way he helped her. And he significantly helped her by bringing her into this new family.

Rick asks, "For what?" and Michonne says, “For bringing me out there that day. Taking me in.” And I know they’re talking about the initial day he brought her in but “taking me in” also feels like thanking him for the way he slowly brought her into the fold of their family.

I’ve always felt that part of the Clear run with just him and his son was Rick's attempt to really know that he could bring Michonne into the fam like he deep down wanted to. And I think Michonne knows that despite all his talk of sending her away, Rick really did continue to take her in more and more.

Also, I just like the wording of it cuz Rick’s eyes also always seem to be taking her in too, as he does in this very scene. 😋

Rick responds saying, “If you didn’t have that baby formula, I wouldn’t have.” And Michonne and us both know...

(Also I love that this early pre-canon scene features Rick and Michonne talking about the baby formula for their daughter 😋) 

And again, I love that Michonne doesn’t let Rick run from the good man he is when she looks at him and perfectly delivers the line, “You could’ve just taken the formula” It's true tho. And people like the Governor would have done just that. Michonne knows that in this world, what Rick did for her was a gracious act, and she doesn’t let him downplay it.

And then hearing Michonne say that is truly all it takes for Rick to drop the act and let her know that she’s right. I love how quickly he folds here. 😋 And why this moment makes this list is largely because of what Rick says next.

Cuz those Richonne tones make an appearance as Rick looks at her and just sends my heart soaring when he says, “Well, must’ve been something else then.” 

I hadn't happy danced in these Top 30 posts yet, but this line right here is gonna do it for me every time. 😋 Ahhhh, I adore this response and the delivery of it. This is such a classic line in Richonne's story. 👏🏽

It's so special, especially because after these 5 words, Rick really fully accepts Michonne and is never hostile to her ever again. Richonne's connection has been powerful and magnetic since they first laid eyes on each other, and this is the moment they stop actively resisting that undeniable connection. And from here on out, they never look back. They only grow more and more fond of each other until they fall head over heels in love.

Low key, if I could ask a fictional character from the show something, I’d be Iike, Rick, friend, what exact thoughts were going through your head when you said this line right here? Like...

Because no matter how I look at it, it just feels like it’s a moment of Rick deep down knowing something special draws him to Michonne.

I mean it’s factual to say the man is super attracted to her and, as I've often said, their love story was a slow burn but the attraction was instantaneous - so this line just felt like Rick coming close to telling on himself that he might like her more than he even understands at this early stage.

I love that there’s something flirty about the fact that Rick makes the statement more ambiguous. He’s not showing all his cards just yet, but he’s clearly okay with Michonne knowing at least “something” is there between them. 

I know my Richonne brain is going to see this as so romantic-coded, but even if I were to turn my Richonner side of me off, this still just feels really telling that Rick can sense deep down that Michonne is something special and that he has a unique connection to her.

I'm just looking at Rick in this telling scene like I definitely know you are feeling her, and since it's still early...

So I love the line but then I especially love Rick's reaction after he says it. 😊

To me, Rick's reaction after is almost more telling than the line. Because some would say the "something else" he was referring to was strictly Carl making the call, and that is definitely the larger aspect of it for sure, which is sweet in and of itself - but Rick's look after the line suggests that the "something else" really could have to do with his external and internal attraction to Michonne as well.

First Slick Rick looks down and then not so slickly tries to play off checking her out by looking up and around. Idk, if you ask me, I feel like something in him knows what that look down was about, and that’s why he so quickly tries to play it off by unsubtly looking every which way. Like what was on the ceiling that homeboy needed to look all the way up like this lol??

Y'all, all that looking around was because of "something else" between them, if I do say so myself. 😋

But then, as Rick often did at the beginning of his relationship with Michonne, he tries to play off his own liking of her by letting her know that his son also has grown fond of Michonne.

It's sweet to see Rick give credit to his son Carl, who is also Michonne's future son and bff, for making the call to bring Michonne in.

Rick tells her, "He said you belonged here." And I like how talking about Carl and baby formula for Judith makes this whole moment with Rick and Michonne feel even more familial. #DestinedToBeFamily.

And then I always loved that while Rick lets Michonne know it’s Carl who embraced her and made the call to bring her in, he then says, “You’re one of us.” 

He could have added, 'that’s what Carl said,' or whatever, but instead Rick says it as an outright statement because Carl isn’t the only one who thinks this. Rick knows it’s true that Michonne is one of them, and I love that he tells her this directly as something he also believes.

And, of course, it’s extra great knowing just how true the statement will become as Michonne becomes Mrs. Michonne Grimes, the invaluable and beloved Grimes family matriarch.

Michonne, who always can communicate so much even without words, just gives Rick a look in response to this, and I love the look.

Michonne is someone who can read people really well so I wouldn’t be surprised if in this exchange she somehow could read that the energy between them here is different.

Her look at Rick before she walks away is low-key giving...

Lol no but being for real, I am not saying Michonne or Rick are yet aware of their deeper feelings for each other at this point. And they’re definitely still in a healing stage from their past traumas that would prevent them from fully realizing that their ultimate love story is right in front of them.

It's just that Michonne's look suggested that somehow she sensed a little something between them, even if not yet cognizant of what exactly that something was.

And I mean, Rick couldn’t really ever hide that she has an effect on him so it's not like he was all that subtle - which I’m always here for whipped-out-loud Rick. 😋

I know Michonne also really appreciates receiving this ultimate seal of approval from Rick that she truly is a member of tf and a very valued member at that. She's officially home. And you just knew Rick and Michonne would remain united through thick and thin after this.

Then Michonne walks away after their lingering look and Rick silently watches her and I love the little entranced spell Michonne seems to always have on him. And the scene ends with Rick following in her direction, as he’ll do many times in their journey going forward. 😊

Y’all, this moment is just top-tier, and the spark between them was evident as early as s3. Like, you can't tell me this scene didn't shine a blinking neon sign that said Richonne’s story is a love story.

Season finales pretty much always ensured we were fed with great Richonne content and this is the first Richonne season finale, setting the tone for all the greatness to come. I love that Rick and Michonne always end each season closer.

This moment, with Michonne showing so much understanding and compassion, and Rick so willingly telling on himself by letting her know that on the kismet day the universe brought them together there was something else, something deeper, that led him to bring her in, is a wonderful contribution to their love story and a glimpse into what they will become to each other.

And I’ll forever be grateful that Rick and Michonne weren’t brought together just to be partners in crime but rather to be something else too - to be soulmates with the best possible love.🥰

#richonne #top 30 #Also I know as we get closer spoilers and leaks get harder to avoid but I wanted to reassure you I won’t put any spoilers in these posts #I’ve been avoiding them too so I don’t really have any spoilers to reference anyway since I want to go into TOWL as fresh-eyed as possible #So unless it’s a reference to something from an officially released TOWL trailer then you don’t have to worry about any spoilers here 👌🏽 #top 10 #number 8 #rick x michonne #reveling in richonne #twd 3.16 #twd towl #the ones who live

[kenjakusbrainstem]

Pain Reliever (Geto Suguru x Gojo Satoru)

All of the content for season 2 we've been getting tied in with the recent manga chapters has made me want to write some good ole SatoSugu. And now that I'm back from vacation, it's like the words can actually flow from my fingers again. Hopefully this is enjoyable for everyone as it was enjoyable to write. Nothing is quite as inspiring as a massage after all~ <3 feel free to rb or comment if you enjoy or have any thoughts!

Dusk settled over the Tokyo branch of Jujutsu High School, a quiet darkness sweeping over the campus. Fall meant that it was getting darker sooner, and that the students were getting in as much outdoor training as possible before it became too cold. The longer training was usually appreciated by the students, as they were allowed to do more practical training.

The peaceful silence enveloping the school was shattered by a sharp whine coming from one of the dorm rooms. If anyone had been in the hall listening, they would have heard the sound was followed by a muffled shushing and the thunk of a pillow smacking into the white haired teen sprawled out on the bed.

“You’re whining like a baby Satoru, it’s just a pulled muscle,” Geto said as he stood at the edge of Gojo’s bed. As annoyed as he sounded, Geto was amused by this. It wasn’t often that Gojo was put into a state of discomfort, so to see him react this way was a chance for Geto to tease him more. He would rather see Gojo not in pain, but to be this dramatic about a strained back muscle, Geto couldn’t help but laugh.

Instead of speaking, Gojo let another whine escape his throat, face buried in the pillow out of embarrassment. He was still getting used to using his Infinity as a shield, it had been the focus of his training today. After keeping it up all day he finally allowed it to slip at the same time Geto had swung a cursed tool he’d been practicing with right into his lower back.

It seemed the black haired teen had quite literally struck a nerve that Gojo wasn’t prepared for. 

Geto did feel bad, but only a little. That was the point of training after all, Gojo’s injuries didn’t often last this long though. 

Choosing to ignore his own bed, Geto sat down at the foot of Gojo’s bed. He rested his hand on Gojo’s lower back, unsure where exactly he had hit his friend. Hand lightly tracing the area through the fabric of his shirt, Geto wanted to find some way to soothe the pain he’d caused.

“Does this hurt?” Geto asked as he applied more pressure, prodding at different parts of Gojo’s back until he got a response. A small yelp made him stop, his hand resting right above the band of Gojo’s pants.

“It doesn’t hurt! Stop pressing it, you’ve already done enough,” Gojo pouted, moving his head just enough so one clear sentence could be heard before he buried his face again. Of course it hurt him, though the touch hadn’t hurt it more he just didn’t want to be bothered. He wasn’t used to the lasting discomfort of a pulled muscle or a pinched nerve and wasn’t properly equipped to deal with it.

Geto ignored Gojo’s complaints, figuring he had found the spot that was bothering the whiney teen next to him. Splaying his hand out over the fabric of Gojo’s shirt, he began lightly kneading into the skin. Perhaps he could make it up to Gojo by giving him a little massage? Maybe rubbing out the tension could be helpful.

A flush crossed Geto’s face, he was glad that Gojo was way too preoccupied to be paying attention to him. They had touched plenty of times, even sharing a kiss or two once the lights were out and one of them had moved into the other's bed. That wasn’t something they spoke about though, just something they did as friends. 

Though Geto would be a fool if he didn’t admit the blossoming feelings for his friend that had seeded deep inside his chest. He had done a good job up until now to keep his feelings inside himself, but he couldn’t deny the main reason he wanted to massage Gojo was a selfish one. Instead of just making him feel better, Geto wanted to feel Gojo’s flesh for himself.

Turning his body to have more access to Gojo, Geto shakily brought his other hand up and he slowly started rubbing Gojo’s back in earnest.

Letting his thumbs do most of the work, Geto pressed small circles into the shirt separating their skin. The circular motions made Gojo almost freeze on the spot, his whining had stopped and he wasn’t wiggling about on the bed to find comfort anymore. Geto took that as a sign that he had done something right and pressed more firmly into the sensitive skin.

The silence in the room hung heavily around them as Geto focused on trying to alleviate some of Gojo’s pain. Geto could barely think beyond the sound of the blood rushing in his ears, being this close and being able to see the object of his desire when it was happening was almost dizzying. Even if the touch had been so mundane and not even directly on skin, there was something more intimate about this.

“Suguru, more,” Gojo whined, the words sounded pitiful as he spoke. It was hard to notice the pain that had been festering near his spine with the light touches Geto had been applying. He may have been in pain, but Gojo wasn’t made of glass. The light touches felt so good, like his body was being turned into putty under Geto’s fingers. 

It wasn’t enough though, Gojo wanted more. 

And Geto couldn’t help but give it to him.

The bed shifted as Geto repositioned himself, knees knocking into Gojo’s as he straddled the other teen’s legs. He needed more access to Gojo’s back if he wanted to do this right. Not that either of them knew the right way to go about this, both just acting on instinct.

Settling into a comfortable position, Geto settled his hands on Gojo’s hips, right above the waistline. He paused momentarily before continuing, as if he wanted to savor the moment. 

Impatience took over and Geto began working his thumbs into Gojo’s lower back with more force. His arms flexed with the effort, if he hadn’t been holding onto Gojo, he was sure his hands would be shaking.

The pressure in his lower back was too much, Gojo let out a soft moan into the pillow below him. Switching from the annoying itch of pain to this level of pleasure was almost overwhelming to the teen. Geto had taken him seriously when he asked for more, thumbs grinding into Gojo roughly. 

It was almost perfect for Gojo. Something felt off though, Gojo was aware enough to realize that this could feel better if he could actually feel Geto’s strong hands on his body. He needed to take his shirt off for this to feel better, he thought. Blinded by the want for more pleasure, Gojo lifted himself up slightly to remove his shirt.

Geto froze at Gojo’s movement. He wondered for a brief moment if he had gone too far, if this was too much despite Gojo’s pleased sounds. The last thing Geto wanted was to cause a rift between them, which is why he had kept his feelings and wants quiet in the first place. Before he had a chance to remove himself from sitting atop Gojo’s legs however, the boy in question quickly removed his shirt and laid back down.

Blinking, Geto took in the now exposed skin before him. He had seen Gojo shirtless numerous times, but his skin had never looked quite so inviting before. Mindlessly, he lowered his hands to Gojo’s hips, caressing the soft skin directly before kneading into the flesh once more. Intensity and vigor renewed at the way Gojo’s warm body felt so pliant for him. 

Geto was so focused that he swore he could feel every muscle in Gojo’s back. It was as if he were reaching into the skin and massaging the tendons directly instead of just at surface level. 

Whatever knot or nerve had been bothering Gojo must have been long gone if the steady stream of light moans leaving his mouth was any indication of how he felt. There had been a little pain at first, but now it just felt like his body was nothing more than dough on a bakers table, being worked into one of the pastries Geto often bought for him. It felt almost too good, he would do anything to keep Geto on top of him like this.

After what felt like hours, but in reality was much closer to about three minutes, Gojo began to feel a heat creeping down his spine and headed straight to his groin. Geto’s hands had begun to wander around Gojo’s back, straying up to his shoulders before slowly working their way back down to his hips. Fingertips brushing against the waistband almost teasingly. Gojo was certain it was on purpose, Geto had to be teasing him somehow, why else would he suddenly feel so aroused? 

Gojo held his feelings for his friend tight against his chest, not wanting to let out more than he needed. Not out of fear, more of finding too much enjoyment in their current relationship as best friends that sometimes kissed when all the lights were out. There hadn’t been any reason to want to change that, until Geto’s hands plucked at his sinew like it were an ornate harp. 

The soft rocking motion of Gojo’s hips was imperceptible to Geto at first. He was too busy exploring the map of Gojo’s back, allowing himself to press into every pore of his best friend's body. It was only when Gojo shifted in such a way that caused his ass to grind up against his crotch that he realized something had shifted between them. 

It only took Geto a second to understand what Gojo was doing, though he never stopped moving his fingers as if to encourage the behavior. Gojo was grinding into the bed, as if to alleviate a new kind of pressure in his body. Geto hadn’t expected the other teen to feel so much pleasure from his hands, he had only set out to take away the pain he caused. This was the best possible outcome in his mind though. 

Through Gojo’s movements, Geto had noticed a part of himself he had been neglecting while entranced by Gojo’s flesh. Geto could feel his cock straining against his uniform pants, achingly hard already. It wasn’t the first time Gojo had made him this hard, but it was the first time it happened without the aid of his own hand and a secret fantasy.

Geto’s movements became more calculated, fingers digging in, lingering in spots that made Gojo moan and sigh. His head was turned to the side now, Gojo gasping for breath from being smashed into the pillow for so long. The once muted moans now clear and causing Geto’s cock to throb with yearning. It was all too much for him.

Gojo’s thrusting became more pronounced as one of Geto’s hands drifted down further than it had been allowed to before. Geto’s hand grasped at Gojo’s ass, the force of his fingers making Gojo whimper as Geto squeezed at him through his uniform pants. 

The heat was too much for Gojo, his cock had been hard since the first press of Geto’s hands on his bare skin, and the friction from being trapped against the bed felt agonizingly good. He pressed his ass back again, this time roughly grinding against Geto’s equally strained cock. Gojo was almost relieved to find Geto hard as well, otherwise this may not have felt as good.

A sharp gasp fell from Geto’s lips at the softness of Gojo’s ass pressing insistently up against him. He had ignored his own pleasure for too long, his cock was more sensitive to the pressure, it was like nothing he had felt before. Being able to feel Gojo like this, body begging to be touched, it pushed Geto to the edge alarmingly fast. 

Gojo continued to grind his ass back into Geto’s cock, trying to get away from the heat and pressure of the bed beneath him and also feel just how aroused Geto was by all of this as well. Being under Geto’s hard body was hard to escape though, especially since Geto had started grinding into Gojo’s ass with fervor. 

The massage was completely forgotten at this point, Geto wrapped one hand around Gojo’s hip to help them keep the same pace. His other hand snaked its way down in front of Gojo, slipping into Gojo’s pants. Geto gripped the hard cock and began roughly stroking it, making his mouth water and his own cock throb with excitement.

A choked moan left Gojo’s lips as he threw his head back, the feeling of Geto’s hand too much for him. Gojo spilled into Geto’s hand as Geto stroked him through the orgasm. Gojo hadn’t realized how different another person's hand could feel, how good his best friend's hand could feel. He could feel his body quiver as Geto’s hand quickly pushed him into overstimulation.

Gojo pressed his ass back harder against Geto’s grinding cock, not knowing if he wanted to push Geto to the edge or if he was simply trying to get away from the overwhelming pleasure. Either way the feeling of Gojo’s seed on his hand and the plush ass against his cock, Geto moaned as he felt himself release in his pants.

The grip Geto held on Gojo’s hip tightened, holding the teen in place as Geto rode out his own orgasm against Gojo’s body.

The two of them collapsed on the bed, a tangled mess of limbs and sweat. Gojo’s back pain suddenly was not an issue, he turned himself around and messily kissed Geto’s lips. They were both breathing hard, unexpected exertion taking a toll on them finally. Still they sloppily kissed as they settled into a comfortable position of laying with their arms wrapped around one another.

“Thank you,” Gojo whispered into the kiss, as if for once he was afraid of making too much noise, as if being loud would ruin the moment. Geto just smiled at him, turning his head slightly to kiss Gojo’s cheek and bury his head into Gojo’s neck before closing his eyes and continuing to revel in this moment.

#jjk #jjk smut #satosugu #gojo satoru #geto suguru #stsg #stsg smut

[asirensrage]

⛸️ 🌲 ☕️ 🔥

Hey! Thanks for asking!

⛸️ Ice Skating: tell us about a skill your OC has. Is it unusual? Something they worked hard on? Does it ever come in handy?

Hmm... Michelle can bake (which she uses to relieve stress). Kelly can skate (it's not really useful but she enjoys it). Amelia has epic research skills which she uses to excel. Darcy knows how to hotwire a car (which does come in handy but she won't admit she can do it if anyone asks).

🌲Pine Tree: share a snippet that shows a character being strong (whether that’s physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.)

Here's a scene from "Season 2" of Crossfire ;)

“I…” I turned slightly so that I could face him. “I need help.” I felt odd about asking him as soon as I said it.  He frowned slightly. “With what?” I took a deep breath. “You know I’m not okay. Everyone knows,” I said quickly. He went to interrupt and I held up a hand. “Wait, I need to say it before I convince myself not to. I can’t go home. I’ve been avoiding accepting that, accepting that this is my home now. I’m here for good. I just...it’s been hard and all I’ve done since I’ve been dropped in here is train and work. That’s it, Sam. There is literally nothing else in my life because I’ve been so afraid of being hurt again. I don’t...I don’t deal well with being hurt. I shut down and apparently throw myself into ways to protect myself. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until everyone kept pointing it out to me. I mean, I had Spike tell me that I wasn’t even living just...going through the motions.”  I looked at him. “I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t…” I clenched my jaw for a second. Part of me was screaming at myself that this was a weakness. That even telling him this much was just going to cause me problems in the future. I tried to ignore it. Sam had never meant to hurt me. I knew that.

☕️ Hot Cocoa: what do your OCs do if they need reassurance or comfort? Do they talk to someone/fall back on a certain activity?

Hmm. A lot of my ocs are terrible at reaching out for comfort now that I think about it…

Amelia reads. Kate curls up on a couch with coffee and 90s sci-fi shows. Michelle does not reach out to anyone and retreats, usually maybe sleeps (Sam ends up tracking her down and offering comfort which she eventually accepts lol). Kelly curls up on a couch and reaches out to the people she cares about. It’s usually Dean or Michelle. Darcy generally goes and causes chaos to make herself feel better. Toni reaches out to her family and bakes.

🔥 Fireplace: what type of scene are you most comfortable writing? Emotional, action, dialogue-heavy?

Dialogue. I tend to get into a groove with dialogue heavy scenes. Action scenes are always hard because you have to think about the logistics of the movements. Same with sex scenes. Otherwise I’m also really comfortable with ANGST lol.

#thanks for asking! #oc asks #writing asks #chickensarentcheap

[killbaned]

whats UP i’m jared, 19, and i never fucking learned to read (a work schedule).

i meant to check it last night and totally forgot, thought i was 2-9. even did the responsible thing last night when i was getting gas and did not buy gas station boxed wine bc i was like ‘eh i don’t have time’.

i ended up not sleeping well. i drag my corpse out of bed and get to work and see that it’s a fucking MESS. every register is staffed, the lines still aren’t going down, some of the department specialists from other parts of the store are running registers. i’m like.

ah boy.

i clock in. the computer says “IT IS 1:57 BUT YOUR SCHEDULED SHIFT DOES NOT START UNTIL 04:00″ and i’m like

hwat

so now i’m mad, because fuck i didn’t even need to get up yet, FUCK i could have had a bit of booze last night! i go find the HC, explain what happened, and as i’m asking ‘is it gonna be a big deal if i just clock in anyway since i’m here? i don’t want to leave just to sit around for an hour and a half and come back’ she’s asking ‘would you be able to just go ahead and clock in we sure could use you’.

she sends me to garden to relieve someone for lunch. i get out there and he goes, “did they tell you what’s up?”

which is, you know, never a great thing to hear.

the fucking debit system was goddamn down all FUCKING DAY.

when i first got there we were hand writing fucking invoices. one of the ASM’s finally found a work around to get the system to take them as credits and override it but like FUCK.

i’ve never worked somewhere that, upon the system going down, said ‘oh well if they don’t have alternate forms of payment or don’t WANT to use anything else, just write an invoice and hope for the best when it’s peak season and people are buying literal cartloads of plants <3′.

like my other places of employment are just like /shrug system is down give me cash or get out.

also, the coworker i was relieving showed me how to fill out the invoice, said he was just getting the info off the ID’s and i said, “so, what, someone’s gonna call them later for payment?” and he said “yeah, they’re just gonna rebill it when the system is back up” and i said hm. okay.

no one was putting the fucking card information on the fucking invoices.

#long post #reese v employment #this was the MOST Corner Pharmacy Chaotic Energy day i've had since leaving corner pharmacy holy SHIT #this is what happens when you (management) DON'T TAKE TIME TO ACTUALLY MAKE SURE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THINGS #have fun figuring out how to collect all that money from all those purchases lmao #luckily i only had one invoice for like mulch and a pepsi before the one asm found the work around #and like not to try and displace blame but i DID tell her hey i just did what [name] showed me #not my fault if we're all playing a game of fucking telephone with this and parts get missed

[buckleyblueyes]

buddie + coming out

Jess this got...so fucking long. I'm putting it under a cut. (send me a ship and a word and I'll give you a head canon)

Okay, so Buck first. I imagine that Buck first realized he wasn’t straight when he was in high school. He didn’t mention it to his parents because it’s not like they were that interested in who he was dating anyway. But he did come out to Maddie back then. They were driving around her jeep (coming out in cars is Real okay) and there was some cheesy pop music on the radio (it was the early 2000s) and he didn’t have the word “bisexual” just yet, but she asked if he was dating anyone/if he had a crush on someone and he said “uh...yeah. His name’s Jamie.” and she just took it in stride. Just kind of “oh, okay.” and then he added quickly “I still like girls, too, though” and since she was already through college at this point, so she knew sexuality wasn’t just gay and straight, so she didn’t even blink. “So, tell me about him” and he did. When he was done, she grinned, told him she wanted to meet Jamie some time, and turned up the radio. They drove around some more singing along to whatever cheesy pop song played next.

As far as Buck coming out as an adult, at some point in his late teens or early twenties he found the word bisexual. He never really tried to hide it, but he also never went out of his way to broadcast it. He never felt ashamed of his sexuality, per se, but he never felt proud of it either. It was just like...sometimes he dated guys, y’know? Anyways so flash forward to when he joins the 118. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but at some point early on Hen describes him as “a straight white boy” and he’s like “bold of you to assume I’m straight” “you’re not?” “not even a little” and leaves it at that. Sometimes he mentions hookups with guys during his 1.0 phase, but other than that he doesn’t really talk about it. He comes out to Eddie sometime in season 3, when he’s bemoaning his loneliness and Eddie says “you’ll find the right girl someday” and Buck suddenly realizes he’s never actually told Eddie he’s into guys so he responds. “Right person, actually.” and Eddie blinks twice. “What?” and Buck sighs. “I’ll find the right person, I’m bisexual.” and Eddie blinks again. “Oh...Cool…” and then they just move on.

Which brings us to Eddie. Eddie does not come to the realization that he’s queer until much later in life. He worries he might be gay in high school, because everyone else is interested in dating and girls, and he’s just. Not. Everyone always tells him that he and his good friend Shannon would make a good couple, and he’s pretty sure she has a crush on him, but he just likes her as a friend. Until one day, the summer after they graduate from high school, he looks at her and his heart starts racing and his palms are sweating but it’s not from the Texas humidity and oh my god. Is this what liking someone feels like? This is terrible, actually. But he was right about Shannon having a crush on him, so they start dating, and it’s great. And Eddie is relieved because falling in love with Shannon means he’s straight. He was just a late bloomer, like his mom said.

Anyways, so flash forward about twelve years and Eddie is starting to think he was wrong before. Oh, God, he was so wrong. He’s not sure when Buck went from his best friend to someone he was falling in love with, but it’s too late to go back now. But it’s fine. It’s fine. Buck is straight anyway, so it’s not even worth getting worked up over because it’s never going to happen and--Buck isn’t straight. Oh, hell.

And then he meets Ana, and she’s, well. She’s pretty, and he likes that she guesses his name right, but then he blows up at her and also she’s his son’s teacher, so that’s kind of weird. And then the pandemic hits, and he’s forced into close quarters with Buck and it gets impossible to deny his feelings to himself any longer. But he doesn’t know what to do about it. The problem for Eddie is that he’s only really had strong feelings for two people ever in his life, and the word ‘bisexual’ doesn’t to fit. More like ‘these two people in particular-sexual’ but that doesn’t really make sense.

So, when Ana comes back into his life, it seems like the easy way out. Nobody has to know that he has all these weird, confusing, not-heterosexual feelings. He’s 33 years old, who has a sexuality crisis at 33? Of course, the universe has other plans. He gets shot, he almost dies, and he realizes he doesn’t really feel anything for Ana and he probably never will, and predictably by the time he’s finally ready to confront his feelings and sexuality, Buck is dating Taylor. Great.

Anyways, so Eddie goes to Hen for help figuring himself out because if anyone would be able to help, his married lesbian friend seems like a very good bet. And he’s right. He explains how he’s only ever been in love with two people and that gender doesn’t seem to be a big factor in it, and she points him to the concept of asexuality and aromanticism, and more specifically demisexuality/demiromanticism and it just clicks for him. He wasn’t a “late bloomer” after all. So, I guess Hen is the first person Eddie comes out to. And he doesn’t really feel the need to come out to anyone else at that point because it’s not really anyone’s business.

Eventually, he and Buck get together. And for Buck, telling people isn’t a big deal because he’s been out as bi for years. Eddie isn’t reluctant to tell their found family, or even the rest of the 118. But he is nervous to tell his biological family. He doubts they’ll be too happy about him being with a man, let alone understand the concept of demisexuality. He starts with Abuela and Pepa, the family he’s closer to (literally and figuratively). He comes out to both of them at the same time, at Abuela’s, over a home cooked meal. He tells them that he and Buck are dating, that he loves him. Pepa puts a hand over his and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I’m proud of you,” she says. “It was about time you put that boy out of his misery.”

Eddie chokes on a surprised laugh. Then he looks at Abuela. Abuela is quiet for a minute before standing and walking around the table to where Eddie is sitting. She pulls him up to standing and gives him a tight hug. “Te quiero.”

Next he comes out to his sisters, who are pretty chill about the whole thing, and lastly his parents. His parents liked Buck when they met briefly, so if Eddie was going to be with a man, at least he picked a good one. And given that the rest of the family already knows and is supportive, it’s not like anyone would be on their side if they had a problem with it, and they want to keep seeing their grandson. So they just say “okay” and accept it in the most passive way possible.

Anyways this got SUPER DUPER long and detailed, so I’m going to end it with this: After they’ve been out (both Eddie coming out and Buck and Eddie being out as a couple) for awhile, Hen drags them to that year’s LA Pride with her, Karen, and the kids, and they end up meeting up with Michael, David, Harry and May there (and Bobby who is wearing a t-shirt that says “Free Dad Hugs” in rainbow letters, Buck takes him up on the offer immediately).

#buddie #bi Buck #demi Eddie #you can pry my demisexual/demiromantic eddie headcanons out of my cold dead hands!!!!!!!! #coming out hcs #1331 words later lmao

[nanatsumu]

TEENAGE FEVER.

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x f!reader, oikawa tooru x f!reader

synopsis: iwaizumi has strung you on long enough and you’re finally at the end of your rope.

genre: heavy angst... like make your heart wrench in pain heavy, one sided pining

warnings: manga spoilers, bad grammar (didn’t know it was that bad until i used grammarly), MATURE themes, drinking, smoking, alcohol, iwaizumi being an asshole (he’s also a frat boy because surprise! frat boys should never be trusted), subtle hints at sex, bittersweet ending

word count: 5.9K

series masterlist

part one | part two | part three | part four

it was evident in the way you weren’t sure how to sway your hips to the beat of the music and the way you awkwardly isolated yourself in a quiet corner of the house, sipping on some soda (since you did not want your first frat party experience to end up with you wasted and throwing up on some stranger) that you were definitely not accustomed to the party life.

“are you sure you’ll be fine by yourself y/n?” your roommate asked you with a concerned look on her face.

“i’ll be fine reina,” you give her a tight-lipped smile as you gesture to the phone in your hand. “i’ll just sit here and chill on my phone until you get back.”

“okay okay, i’ll quit babying you now,” she throws her hands up in the air. “call me if some dude tries to hit on you though.”

“will do, but i doubt with how loud the music is that you’ll even answer,” you playfully roll your eyes as she erupts in a fit of laughter.

the brunette pats the back pocket of her jeans where her phone currently resides at.

“even if i don’t hear it, i’ll feel it.”

it becomes quiet momentarily (besides what you assume is i love it by dean blaring in the background) until she starts to looks around warily before leaning in and whispering something into your ear.

“if a hajime iwaizumi tries to talk to you, try to find a way to get out of the conversation,” she pauses for a moment before continuing. “that guy is seriously bad news.”

“y-yeah, i’ll... do that.” you hear her let out a sigh of relief as she straightens up her posture.

it’s hard to hear what she’s saying from there on out, especially with how obnoxiously loud the music has gotten, but you manage to catch the words ‘friends’ and ‘beer pong’ before she slips away amongst the sea of students and you’re left sitting alone on a couch by yourself with only your phone as entertainment.

you had recently moved to california from japan on an academic scholarship for uci, so when you heard reina mention the name ‘iwaizumi hajime’ it sparked a sense of familiarity within you and piqued your curiosity as to if he was also a foreigner studying abroad.

you’ve only been living in the states for a month now which meant you were still getting used to the strange lifestyle here, so the thought of being friends with someone you could potentially relate to had always been swimming in the back of your mind.

“so what’s a pretty girl like you doing here all by yourself?”

a voice snaps you out of your thoughts as you let out a small shriek and the next thing you know, your phone flies out of your hand, hitting the person that just sat down next to you.

“ow!” he cries as he clutches his forehead in pain.

“shit! i’m sorry dude!” at this point you’re scrambling around, not sure where to put your hands as you wave them around haphazardly.

“you know, it’s not nice to throw your phone at someone who's trying to make conversation with you right?” the stranger says in a whiny tone as he switches over to rubbing the red spot forming on his forehead in an attempt to soothe the pain.

“and you know it’s not nice to sneak up on a girl if she’s alone right?” you scoff. “where the hell did you even come from?”

“my mom’s vagina.”

“i didn’t mean literally!” you growl.

he shrugs before making himself comfortable by resting his arms on top of the couch and spreads his long legs.

“y’know, i don’t appreciate you manspreading and i especially don’t appreciate the fact that you’re confident enough to do so when i have no idea who you are.” you grimace.

“the name is oikawa tooru, introduction over,” he gives you a lopsided grin. “but you can call me tooru if you’d like, apparently everyone calls each other by their first names here in the states.”

“japanese?”

“yeah, but i’m not a student here,” he places two fingers on your cheek and gently pushes your head in the direction of the kitchen where you see some people conversing with each other. “you see the guy in the denim jacket with the piercings?”

your eyes wander around until you spot a boy sporting a denim jacket with piercings, just as oikawa described, but you also take note of how oikawa failed to mention that his friend was absolutely breathtaking: he didn’t have a chiseled face but he did have a nice jawline, his hair was spiky but it was styled properly, but what stood out to you the most was the small patch of permanent ink on his wrist.

and it’s as if the heavens were on your side tonight because just as you were thinking about whether or not the tattoo on his wrist branched into something bigger and more complex, he slips off his denim jacket and the sleeveless t-shirt he had on underneath allowed you to see that his entire arm was covered in numerous quantities of tattoos varying in design and color that blended together seamlessly.

“he’s the one that snuck me in,” he leans in closer to your ear and you can practically feel his hot breath on the shell of your ear which makes you shiver. “it’s funny how much college can change a guy, huh?”

he continues.

“his demeanor back in high school wasn’t too different from how it is now, but it like... intensified after he moved here,” oikawa throws his body back and you’re relieved that he finally put some distance between you two because you weren’t sure how much longer you could take him being so close to you. “dumbass probably got caught up in the wrong crowd.”

“and what are you doing here?” you direct your attention back onto the chocolate-haired boy.

“me? i play for a volleyball team in argentina but i’m just visiting iwaizumi.”

your jaw drops and it’s not at the fact that he plays for argentina, but at the way he says it so indifferently like it’s not a big deal at all.

“wait, what the hell!?” you shake your head and take a moment to recollect your thoughts. “i thought you were a student at another school but you’re telling me you don’t even go to school at all?”

“yup!” he grins. “the season just ended and with the free time i have now i just decided to fly here and visit iwaizumi for a bit, y’know, see how well he's adjusting to the university life.”

“and you should’ve seen the look on my face when i saw him for the first time in 4 years and all of a sudden he has an arm full of tattoos and a shit load of piercings.”

“wait, did you just say iwaizumi?”

“hm? yeah, iwaizumi hajime? you know him? i heard he’s pretty popular around here, but i’m pretty sure it’s for all the wrong reasons though.”

“my friend told me he was bad news...” you say sheepishly.

it’s silent for a moment and you’re worried you might have said something wrong or offended your new friend (could you two even be considered friends? i mean he did pop out of nowhere and started talking to you) but your worries are all washed away when you hear a laugh escape his lips.

“i wouldn’t say he’s bad news, just rough around the edges and has a bad habit of hooking up with girls.”

“you know i don’t appreciate you bad mouthing me behind my back shittykawa.”

a deep voice startles both you and oikawa, and when you turn around to see who the owner of the voice was, your mouth grows dry when you realize it’s the iwaizumi hajime standing right behind you.

“iwaizumi!” oikawa stands up and walks over to the spiky-haired male standing behind the couch before slinging an arm around his shoulder. “i was just making small talk with...”

“y/n. l/n y/n.”

“y/n! a pretty name for a pretty girl,” oikawa winks at you and you roll your eyes at his shamelessness. “anyways i’m gonna and grab a drink.”

oikawa pats iwaizumi on the back before sauntering away, leaving you and iwaizumi to be alone together.

“so, y/n?” his gaze is intense and you can’t help but shift around uncomfortably in your seat at the way he’s borderline checking you out. “you’re not from around here are you?”

“uh yeah,” you scratch the back of your head. “i’m from japan but i recently moved here for university.”

“is that so?” you flinch subtly when iwaizumi plops down next to you but it doesn’t go unnoticed by the male. “relax y/n, i don’t bite.”

his voice is velvety with the right amount of gruffness to it, contrary to his friend, oikawa, whose voice is a bit higher and on the whinier side.

“so... what are you majoring in, iwaizumi?” you ask, attempting to make some sort of small talk with him.

“i’m majoring in sports science, what about you?”

“education,” you answer, suddenly feeling a bit less tense than you were earlier. “i wanna become a teacher, but probably just for primary school, middle schoolers and high schoolers scare me.”

iwaizumi laughs.

“and primary schoolers don’t? i have a little sister and she’s literally the devil incarnate.”

you giggle and you think about how easy it is to converse with iwaizumi, but the warning reina gave you earlier still lingers in the back of your head and so you’re careful not to let your guard down too much.

“so how are you liking california so far? it’s different from japan isn’t it?” he asks.

“well, it’s... different i’ll give you that,” you start playing with your bottom lip subconsciously as it’s a habit that you picked up back in high school. “but my roommate is nice at least and that’s the only that matters to me.”

“i’m also planning on moving back to japan in the future but it’ll only be after i finish university and get my bachelor's degree or something,” you continue.

“taking an internship doesn’t seem too bad either? it’s still a while before i graduate so i wanna try and enjoy my university life before i get into thrown into the real world because i don’t wanna be old and wrinkly and live with regrets— i’m rambling now aren’t i?”

“you’re alright,” iwaizumi smiles. “it’s honestly like a breath of fresh air hearing how you have your life planned out, or at least you have a plan on what you want to do with your life because most of the girls i’ve met or i’m friends with are either undecided or are all about ‘living in the moment’ and while being undecided or having that type of mindset isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just gets repetitive sometimes being surrounded by the same type of people.”

“but you— you’re different from them, i like that.”

you can feel your cheeks starts to heat up and iwaizumi is amused by how you can get so flustered over such a simple compliment.

“thanks... i guess?” you compose yourself and try to cool yourself down by putting your hands on your cheeks.

“so what are you doing here at this party? you don’t strike me as a party animal.”

“because i’m not,” you chuckle. “my roommate dragged me here and i only said yes because i was told it was only gonna be a small get-together, though she didn’t mention anything about the booming music and the alcohol.”

“you a lightweight or something?” he cocks an eyebrow.

“i’m 19, actually, so still not legally allowed to drink,” you state as a matter-of-fact.

“so? i was 19 when i drank for the first time,” he says and you’re alarmed at how he can say it so casually.

“ha, no thanks, i’d rather not accidentally get wasted and throw up on someone later tonight.”

“well, i’ll make sure that you don’t throw up on anybody then,” he stands up and extends his hand out for you to take. “why don’t you come along with me and i’ll fix you up a drink?”

you look at his hand with a wary look in your eyes as reina’s words start to play in your head like a broken record.

‘that guy is seriously bad news.’

“so what do you say, y/n?”

you stare into his brown eyes and it’s almost as if he injected curiosity straight into your veins because the next thing you know, you’re sitting on the counter with iwaizumi standing in between your legs as he’s pouring a bottle of bailey’s irish creme into a tumbler glass for you.

“this is probably the best option for you besides white claw but i’m sure as hell not gonna have you drink that shit especially when it’s your first time,” he sets the almost empty bottle on the counter behind him before handing you the glass, which you reluctantly take. “and i’m not gonna be an asshole and give you spirytus.”

you inspect the liquid by bringing the glass up closer to your eyes and whirling it around a few times in a way that is similar to that of a kid inspecting their halloween candy for poison or blades and it elicits a snicker out of iwaizumi.

“i don’t know... i told my mom i’d move to california to study and be a teacher, not go to parties and practice underage drinking.” you deadpan which only further humors the male in front of you.

“and i told my mom i’d move to california to study sports science, not pierce my ears and get my entire arm tattooed,” he says and you assume that this is his way of trying to coax you into drinking the glass of whiskey in your hands. “i’m sure a little bit of alcohol won’t hurt and i promise you’re not gonna get wasted, take a lick for all i care.”

“fine, but if i accidentally puke all over someone’s shoes then i’m counting on you to pay for dry cleaning.” you say before bringing the glass up to your lips and taking a tiny sip— and to your surprise, it wasn’t that bad.

the taste of whiskey wasn’t overbearing as the taste of cocoa and vanilla overpowered it, but you weren’t complaining as it made it easier for the drink to slide down your throat without you feeling the need to scrunch up your face in distaste.

“not bad right?” iwaizumi smirks and it immediately triggers your fight or flight.

“i haven’t even said anything yet.” you roll your eyes.

“well? what do you think then?”

his hand brushes up against your thigh as he goes to settle them on either side of you, effectively trapping you on top of the counter.

“i-it’s not bad i guess...” your words trail off at the end as you allow your eyes to wander away elsewhere in an attempt to distract yourself from how intimate this position feels.

“y/n,” you turn your attention back towards iwaizumi and your eyes widen at the close proximity between you two. “do you use any lip products?”

“just lip... gloss...” your breath hitches when you notice that he‘s starting to lean in closer as his eyes travel down to your parted lips.

but before he gets a chance to put his hands on you, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket as realization also seems to hit iwaizumi at the same time and he immediately jerks away.

“uh, i think my roommates calling me,” you jump off the counter and dig into the pockets of your shorts so that you can retrieve your buzzing phone. “i’ll see you around campus?”

“yeah, see you around.”

he watches as you head for the exit and once you’re out of sight, he leans against the counter you were just sitting on a minute ago and lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“that was so lame of you iwa-chan.”

he turns his head towards the direction of where the voice came from and sees oikawa striding into the kitchen.

“you totally got her wrapped around your finger, don’t you?” oikawa states as iwaizumi chuckles.

“fuck yeah i do,” he brings his hand up for a handshake. “i can’t believe she fell for my ‘you’re different from other girls’ speech.”

“and i usually never go for freshmen since they’re always so damn annoying but y/n... she’s gonna be a fun one to play with.” he adds.

“you’re a real douchebag.” oikawa says as he downs the rest of whatever is in his cup before discarding it into the nearest trash can.

“hey, if i’m gonna move back to japan soon then might as well make the most of the time i have left here, right?” iwaizumi defends himself.

“spoken like a true jackass.” the chocolate-haired male snorts.

“whatever,” iwaizumi rolls his eyes as he runs a hand through his hair. “i’m leaving in less than a month and a half so i’ll hit it and quit it.”

“that phrase is so corny, why not ‘bust a load and hit the road’?” oikawa suggests.

“i am not having this conversation with you right now.” iwaizumi irks before walking out of the kitchen with a mopey oikawa hot on his trail.

“so rude!”

it’s been almost a week now since your encounter with iwaizumi and you have yet to see him around campus. well, it was inevitable as he was all the way on the other side of the school, but deep down you wished you could at least run into him during the course of your week.

you briefly remember reina giving you an earful once you got back to the dorms because you had explained to her the minute you two got back that you met iwaizumi hajime at the party and even met one of his friends.

“y/n, didn’t i tell you that you should stay away from that guy?”

“but he seemed like a really nice guy to me...” you started fiddling with your fingers.

“that’s what he wants you to think, y/n,” she takes a seat next to you on your bed and wraps an arm around your shoulder, patting it soothingly. “i just— you’re new here and from the moment you stepped foot in our dorm i knew immediately that you’re gonna live a successful life and the last thing i want happening is for some college playboy to break your heart and ruin your life.”

your heart couldn’t help but grow fuzzy at her words.

“trust me, if this were any other guy then i wouldn’t mind you talking to them, but hajime is notorious for breaking hearts and ruining lives,” she puts her arms behind her back and uses them to support her body as she leans back. “there was this girl back in my freshman year, half japanese half white, her name was kaori, and i’ve never cared to keep track of any of hajime’s flings but she was the most serious case.”

“hajime and her met the same way you and him did, at a party, and he chatted her up until she eventually gave into those pretty boy charms of his and they started going out. the first few weeks were fine and the entire campus was raving about how this was one of hajime’s longest standing relationships yet and they seemed to be at a good spot in their relationship. but it wasn’t until one day, photos of her nudes were plastered all over the entire school and someone in hajime’s friend group ratted him out and said that he was the one who started sending the photos. obviously the school found out but they couldn’t get enough evidence that hajime was the one who sent her nudes around but since they had to do something, they decided to suspend kaori instead for ‘distribution of explicit content’ and the whole school started flooding her dms with death throats and she was labeled ‘the whore of uci.’ i think she eventually got tired of everything because she disappeared from the school without a trace, like completely disappeared. all her socials were deleted and she deleted her number so no one could contact her at all.”

after reina finished the entire story, you were remembered speechless. sure iwaizumi was a bit on the flirtier side and didn’t hesitate to test the waters, but that didn’t mean that he was completely shameless and disrespected your boundaries. you had a gut feeling that underneath that tough facade of his was a boy who was a normal college student like everybody else and had a goal in mind that he wanted to achieve, but after hearing reina’s story you weren’t sure what to think anymore.

“that poor little thing, she was such a sweet girl and it’s such a shame that she just had to go and get involved with hajime. if she still went here then i’m sure you and her would’ve gotten along,” reina adds. “she kind of reminds me of you in a way, you have this innocence to you that can’t be replicated yet you actually have a spine unlike those girls that throw themselves at hajime. tsk, how shameless of them, throwing yourself at a boy who’s known for tossing girls to the side once he’s down with them.”

needless to say, after that long conversation you had with reina, you’ve started to become more wary of the boy, but an unknown force keeps pulling you back to him.

reina had invited you to another party this weekend and while you were a bit reluctant about accepting her invitation, you thought that this might be your chance at ever seeing iwaizumi again so with your one track mind, you accept her offer without a second thought which now leads you to present time.

you feel a wave of deja vu wash over you as sweater weather blasts from the speakers and you can feel the heavy bass shake up the entire house.

you and reina struggle to nagivate through the crowd all while trying to avoid the couples making out in order to get upstairs where her friends had texted her to meet and you’re glad you’ve gained enough confidence to give her the green light when she asked if you wanted to meet her friends because you’re not sure how much more your eardrums could take.

“it’s right here!” reina knocks on the door three times and just when she’s about to go in for the fourth knock, the door swings open, revealing an all too familiar chocolate-haired male.

“y/n!” he exclaims as he throws his arms around you and reina just barely manages to dodge his long arms.

“hey! you almost hit my fuckin’ face you douche!” she cries. “and who the hell are you? i’ve never seen you around before.”

“oikawa, you’re still here?” your voice is muffled by his chest and you have to muster up all of the strength you have to pry him off of you.

“baby, you’re gonna be seeing me around for a whole month!” you and reina give each other a blank stare.

“first of all, don’t call me baby,” you duck down and it proves successful in getting out of his hold. “and secondly, what are you doing here?”

oikawa pouts at the lack of contact but continues the conversation nonetheless.

“iwaizumi snuck me in again and i’m staying at his place for now so wherever he goes, i tag along,” he points behind him as you and reina peer inside the room. “so what are you guys here for?”

“well my friends told me to meet me here, but it seems like they’re fraternizing with the enemy.” reina scrunches her nose up in disgust and you catch a glimpse of iwaizumi with his arm wrapped around a blonde girl’s shoulder.

“well iwaizumi’s friends are friends of mine and since your friends are iwaizumi’s friends then you’re my friend as well!” oikawa proclaims as he throws his arms around both you and reina this time and pulls you guys in for a side hug.

“let’s head in!” he pulls you guys into the room, not forgetting to lock the door as it shuts behind him.

iwaizumi notices you and you give him a small smile before taking a seat next to reina, oikawa following suit as he sits next to you as well.

“hajime.” reina greets him with a curt nod.

“reina... nice to see you,” iwaizumi says briefly.

“so who’s up for a game of seven minutes of heaven?” the girl who’s in iwaizumi’s arms proposes.

“c’mon! seven minutes in heaven? really? we’re in college now, let’s do something a little more daring!” a boy with black hair shouts.

“fine, let’s play strip poker then!” you hear someone suggest.

all of the girls in the room groan.

“pervert, you just wanna play it so that you can see us in our undergarments.”

“isn’t that the point of the game though?”

“i don’t even know how to play poker.”

“is this your second time at a party?” oikawa leans in and whispers into your ear, not wanting to put all of the attention on your conversation.

“yeah, i wasn’t planning on going in the first place but reina managed to convince me.” you lied straight through your teeth, not wanting to spare the embarrassment of telling oikawa the real reason why you came to the party.

“oh really? what would have you done all by yourself on this fine friday night if you stayed back at the dorms by yourself then?” he questions.

“probably head to the cafe thats off campus and try their new milk bread,” you say bluntly.

“milk bread?” you turn your head a bit and see oikawa trying to stifle a laugh.

you slap his thigh which prompts him to yelp.

“what’s so funny idiot?”

“n-nothing! it’s just... i like milk bread too.”

“really?” your eyes sparkle and oikawa can’t stop the genuine smile that forces its way onto his face. “do you wanna come with me tomorrow to try it then? i was gonna ask reina but she’s going on a blind date or something tomorrow and i don’t wanna bother her.”

“sure, but why me?”

“well i don’t know anybody else here, and you’re technically like my friend right?”

“what makes you think we’re friends?” he says but quickly comes to the realization that it sounded a lot more heartless than he had intended it to.

“sorry that came off rude...” he sheepishly scratches his neck.

“no i get what you were trying to say, but i mean, i consider you my friend so isn’t that enough?”

“geez quit flirting you two!” reina groans as she pushes you and out of reflex, oikawa immediately latches onto your arms so that you don’t accidentally bump heads with him.

“we’re not flirting,” you roll your eyes before muttering a small ‘thank you’ to oikawa after he releases you. “i’m just inviting him out to that cafe that i’ve been telling you about since you’re too busy going on that blind date.”

“hey hey hey! you were to keep quiet about that y/n!” reina loudly whispers as everyone else in the room roars in laughter.

“oops! sorry reina!” you snicker behind your hand.

“oh you’re so gonna get it!” she tackles you onto the floor. “oikawa, hold her down!”

you feel an extra set of hands put your arms down as reina uses her legs to pin your legs down.

“w-wait! oikawa i thought we were friends! don’t—” your words are suddenly cut off and you begin to break into a fit of laughter as reina commences her tickle assault on you.

“f-f..fuck o— AHAHAHAHA..... FUCK OFF R-REINA!” you manage to say in between breaks.

after what feels like minutes of torture, reina finally lets up and you’re free from the shackles that is her and oikawa.

“you’re a traitor oikawa!” you cry as you sit back up, massaging your shoulders to release the tension that had built up in them within a span of 30 seconds.

the said male flat out ignores you though as he turns to face the rest of the group.

“any-who, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?”

“that’s lame.” iwaizumi finally speaks up.

“you’re lame! don’t make me tell everyone what went down last friday when—” oikawa is about to continue his sentence when iwaizumi suddenly sends him a cold glare that shuts him up.

“scary!” oikawa wraps his arms around you for what seems to be the umpteenth time tonight. “save me y/n!”

you roll your eyes.

“you’re awfully touchy with someone who you’ve only known for a week yet only met twice,” you complain but don’t make an effort to shy away from his touch.

“but we’re friends right? you even said so yourself!” he smirks at the face you make when you come upon the realization that he’s used your own words against you.

“whatever, do what you like,” you mumble against his arms. “i seriously envy your ability to get along with people easily.”

iwaizumi lets out a low growl as he witnesses the scene in front of him unfold. he wasn’t going to let oikawa get to you first when he clearly had his sights set on you from the moment you stepped foot into that party last friday.

he was going to be the first man to make a move on you and what better way to do so than a game of spin the bottle?

“how about,” iwaizumi picks up the half-empty bottle of beer next to him as he downs the rest of the contents inside before placing it flat on the floor in the middle of the room. “a game of spin the bottle?”

“and you think seven minutes of heaven is lame?” oikawa scoffs. “didn’t lara jean play it in middle school in that one flashback in to all the boys i’ve loved before?”

“you watched to all the boys i've loved before?” you ask oikawa.

“hell yeah i did!” he grins. “iwaizumi told me it’s corny but can’t a guy love his chick flicks?”

“you’re so lame!” you giggle, even though you too had watched it.

“have you seen the second movie?” he asks as you two begin to go off-topic again.

“no i haven’t, i heard it was bad so i just never bothered to watch it.” you shrug.

“dude we should watch it together then!” he suggests.

“and if it’s bad then i’m gonna kick you out of my dorm.” you snort.

the black-haired male from earlier clears his throat which prompts you and oikawa to stop talking.

“first of all, oikawa, y/n, get a room, and secondly, let’s play spin the bottle!” he yells.

the first few minutes of the game were boring and the matchups were weird, to say the least: reina had to kiss the blonde girl (you found out her name was genevieve), the black-haired boy (kevin) had to kiss some girl who you recognized was from your seminar class, and then when it came to be oikawa’s turn, the bottle landed on him so he just ended up kissing himself through a mirror out of his own free will (trust me, no one there wanted to see that happen and no one could stop him even if they tried.)

there were about 12 people in the room, 13 including you, and out of everyone there the one person who you would definitely not want to kiss.

iwaizumi.

it wasn’t like you despised him or anything, but after hearing about him from reina along with the girl who had been sitting in his lap this entire night, you really did not want to deal with a target on your back and an enemy acquired within your first month of living in the states.

so when it came down to your turn, you were silently praying to the gods that it would land on anybody but iwaizumi— heck even oikawa would be a better option.

but it seems like lady luck had her smile turned away from you because as the bottle began to slow down, a symbol of your fate being sealed in this very room, it had landed on the one person you did not want it to land on at all.

“y/n, you have to kiss hajime!”

the whole room went silent.

“what?!” genevieve shrieks and the ringing in your ears lingers around for longer than you’d expected. “i am not letting some... freak! kiss hajime!”

“genevieve, y/n is not a freak,” reina defends you, oikawa following up with a ‘yeah! she’s not a freak!’ as well. “you literally just met her and you’re just mad you don’t get to kiss him.”

“and while i’m not too... happy with this either, rules are rules.” the brunette continues as she sends a disapproving look iwaizumi’s way.

“well, pucker up buttercup,” iwaizumi picks genevieve up off his lap and scoots over to you. “i’m about to make it up to you for last week.”

he leans in closer and you shut your eyes, preparing for whatever is about to come next.

his lips are soft in a way, and what’s supposed to be a quick smooch turns into a full-blown make-out session as he starts to deepen the kiss by holding you from the back of your head, tangling his hand within your hair, and tilting his head to the side for more leeway.

you try to push him away but it proves to little avail as the grip he has on your waist with his other arm is too strong. your hands mindlessly find purchase in his brown locks as his tongue swipes along your bottom lip, asking for entrance. at first, you’re hesitant, but when you open your eyes and you see him staring into your e/c orbs with that alluring look in them, you can’t help but part your lips just the tiniest amount as if to test the waters, but it proves to be more than enough room for iwaizumi to easily slip his tongue into your oral cavity, turning the kiss into battle for dominance.

he tastes like a mix of beer and mint, a strange combination but he makes it work somehow.

the hand he had on your waist trails further downwards and finds a resting spot on your thigh and you can’t help but let out a small moan at the way he starts to rub the sensitive part of your thigh as his hand inches dangerously closer and closer to your core.

it’s only when you start to hear whistling and the ‘get a room!’ comments that you remember that you’re still in the middle of a game of ‘spin the bottle’ and that there's an audience watching as you two shamelessly make out.

this doesn’t seem to faze iwaizumi, however, but the adrenaline in your body aids in your attempt to push him off of you and once you’re completely free from his grasp, you immediately make a beeline to anywhere else but this cursed room.

“y/n!” you hear oikawa and reina call after you but you would rather die than spend another minute in that godforsaken room— especially not after iwaizumi embarrassed you like that in front of everyone.

part one | part two | part three | part four

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi smut #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu angst #haikyuu smut #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu ff #iwaizumi ff #hq #hq x reader #hq x y/n #hq x you #hq angst #hq smut #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa angst #oikawa #iwaizumi #oikawa tooru #oikawa smut #volleyball #oikawa x y/n

[moonbeamwritings]

train station kisses

a sequel to one missed call

Summary: After receiving a phone call from Jotaro after ten years of no contact, you attempt to navigate both your feelings and his. Will a reunion around the holidays be just what you both needed?

Author’s Note: I just wanted to say thank you for all of the positive reactions to one missed call! It really means a lot 🥺💕I hope you guys enjoy the sequel just as much!!

With a shaking hand, you reached out to dial his number, taking each digit slowly as a way to delay the inevitable. The line began to ring and you could almost feel your mouth running dry, the thudding of your heart threatening to burst your chest open. You bit your lip in a futile attempt to keep the water in your eyes from spilling over.

After four rings, you could hear Jotaro answer, “Hello?”

The ringing in your ears, the pounding in your heart, they didn’t stop with the sound of his voice.

“Uh hi, Jotaro? It’s me.”

A relieved exhale could be heard through the phone, followed by a brief moment of silence, “Hi.” If his breath had sounded relieved, then his voice sounded even more so. “I thought you wouldn’t call.”

You brought the phone with you as you traveled across the living room, resting back against the couch. “If I’m being honest, I almost didn’t.”

As much as he had convinced himself that he didn’t deserve a call back, Jotaro’s heart sunk into his stomach with the thought that you very nearly didn’t return his message, keeping him nothing but a distant, painful memory.

“Well,” he finally spoke, fidgeting with the pen resting on his desk, “I’m glad you did.”

You let out a nervous huff, quiet and short, “Yeah, me too.”

Silence overtook the conversation once again, entirely too awkward for your liking. Where were you even supposed to start? The man on the other end had confessed his love to you, through a long, emotional message on your answering machine no less, and now you were confronting him after not hearing from him in literal years. What were you supposed to do?

“Jotaro I-”

“Listen-”

You chuckled as you both attempted to speak at the same time.

“You go-”

“You first-”

You could hear his deep, quiet laugh through the phone.

“We’re off to a great start.” You told him, running a hand through your hair.

“We certainly are.”

“Look, Jotaro,” you struggle to find the right words, “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I wasn’t hurt that I didn’t hear from you, from anyone.”

A low “mhm” sounded through the phone as you collected yourself.

“But, Christ, is it nice to hear your voice.”

“It’s nice to hear yours too.”

“What were you going to say before?” You asked, pressing the phone between your shoulder and cheek so you could pick at your nails.

“I just wanted to tell you that I meant everything I said. All of it.”

The familiar, erratic beat of your heart returned in an instant as his confession replayed in your head.

The words spilled from your mouth before you can even think to stop them, “You love me?” 

You nearly smacked a hand against your forehead with how stupid, how desperate you sounded. Were you really hearing this right now?

“I do. I figured it was better late than never to tell you, even if it was over the phone. The old man was very convincing.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm as he spoke of his grandfather, clearly not thrilled with his relative’s persistence.

“I-” A shaky breath left your mouth, “I love you too. I always have.”

Jotaro didn’t respond right away. How could he? You’d just told him you love him, even after all of this time, even after he’d left you alone, in the dark. After all of it.

“I miss you.” He knew he sounded pathetic, heart on display for you to hear, but he didn’t care. Jotaro also knew he wasn’t anywhere near as openly emotional as he thought you deserved, but he wanted to be selfish, if only this once, wanted to sink his hands into your heart and never let go. He wouldn’t let you be alone again, not if he could help it.

At his confession, tears pricked at the back of your eyes, stinging as they threatened to fall.

“I miss you too, Jotaro.”

The words hung heavily in the air, years of pent up emotions all laid out for you both to see. You had no idea where to go from here. The previous phone call played through your mind as you searched for the right words. One statement came to the forefront: “You reminded me of everything I felt like I couldn’t have, what I can’t have.”

“Jotaro? Can I ask you something?”

“If you want.”

“Before, you said something about me being something you couldn’t have. What exactly did you mean?”

You heard him sigh into the receiver, sounding dejected as he spoke, “Everyone in my life either leaves or gets hurt, or both. I push people away to keep them out of my bullshit, so they don’t get hurt. I’m not easy to love. You don’t deserve to get wrapped up in the mess I always leave behind.”

Your heart broke.

“Jotaro, you…” A laugh, involuntary and riddled with disbelief, left your throat. “You really are something else, you know that? I’ve already been to Egypt with you, for God’s sake, risked my life for your mom, to defeat DIO. I think you’re kinda stuck with me now. Messes or not.”

His voice was uncharacteristically small as he responded, “You mean that?”

You scoffed. “Of course I do. God, you are such an idiot sometimes. You’re lucky I love you.”

He allowed a tiny smile to work its way onto his face, “Yeah, I am.”

“Ohhh, Jotaro,” you teased, getting a real kick out of Jotaro revealing what was going on in that steel-trap he calls a brain, “I didn’t take you for the cheesy type.”

A groan.

“Good freakin’ grief. I take it back, I don’t miss you anymore.”

“Oh come on. You do. You can admit it.”

The moment of humor was a welcomed break from the downpour of emotions that threatened to flood your mind, a calming reminder of what once was.

“Okay,” Jotaro acquiesced, for once not having the strength to win this fight, “you’re right.”

You ached to see the look on his face on the other side of the phone. You had no doubt his eyebrows were creased in annoyance, a smile reluctantly beginning to form on his lips. What you wouldn’t give to be able to reach over, to poke and prod at his cheeks, to tease and annoy him.

“Ugh, you’re so cute,” you tell him, “What am I ever gonna do with you?”

Cute, Jotaro thought, I’ve never heard that one before.

“Look, enough already I-” Why did you have to make his words catch in his throat so much? It was infuriating. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to meet up. I know it’s the holidays and everything but-”

You cut his rambling off with an immediate answer, “I would love to.”

“Wha- You would?” He hadn’t expected you to agree so quickly, or even at all.

The surprised lilt to his voice is not lost on you. You don’t push it. “Of course, I would.”

“In that case,” he spoke, absently tapping the pen against his desk, “I’ll have the Speedwagon Foundation pay for your travel expenses and you can come visit with my family and I for a few days.”

“Jotaro,” You admonished, “I don’t want to intrude! If you’re spending time with family, we can always wait.”

“I’ve kept you waiting long enough and besides,” you can hear the smile in his voice, “mom would love to cook for someone new.”

“Well, when you put it that way, how could I say no?”

The conversation continued from there, Jotaro telling you he would pass along the information from the Speedwagon Foundation. You spent some time getting caught up, passing information back and forth until Jotaro let out a long, drawn out yawn.

“It’s getting late. I should go.” Jotaro stated, sounding reluctant.

“That’s okay. Goodnight, Jotaro. I’ll see you soon.”

“Night, see you.”

With one final click, the line went dead, sending you reeling back into the quiet hum of your living room. You nearly laughed out loud at the events unfolding before you. The last thing you had expected this holiday season was to go visit Jotaro, all expenses paid.

Before you knew it, you were switching over from the plane to the train that would take you to the station near Jotaro’s childhood home. Even given the time you took to attempt to process all of these new developments, your mind still raced, endlessly whirling and wondering. Jotaro loved you and you were visiting him. He loved you and you were going to get to see him again. It was all relentlessly surreal.

As you boarded the train for the remainder of your journey, you couldn’t help but reflect on that fateful trip to Egypt. Memories flashed behind your eyes, coming and going with the scenery passing you by. Kakyoin’s goofy laugh, Polnareff’s friendly disposition, Avdol’s kind words. Your heart clenched at the thought.

Perhaps your reunion, love confessions aside, could help you process what you’d been dealing with for so long. Maybe it could help you move on, move away from reliving the trauma of those weeks abroad. Just maybe.

Pushing the thoughts from your mind, the voice over the loudspeaker alerted you that you had arrived at the station where you would meet Jotaro. Your heart thudded nervously in your chest, seemingly stealing the air from your lungs.

You grabbed your belongings and stepped out onto the platform, eyes scanning the crowd for Jotaro. He was always so tall, you thought, this should be easy.

At the same time, Jotaro entered the station, hands tucked into his pockets to disguise their slight tremor. He had never felt so nervous in his life, this situation being such uncharted territory that he almost wished he could have Star Platinum fight the feelings off for him. He pulled his hat down to cover the rosiness traveling up his neck.

His eyes scanned the crowd, landing on you across the station. You caught his gaze almost immediately, a small smile overtaking the concerned downturn of your lips. You were here, finally.

You weaved through the crowd as you locked eyes with Jotaro, carefully dragging your suitcase behind you as you moved among the throngs of people. As you reached the other side of the station, you stopped dead in your tracks, staring up at Jotaro.

It was as if a massive weight was lifted from your shoulders, like you had finally let out a sigh of relief after a long day. You wanted to live with this feeling forever.

“Hi.” You finally let out, moving to close the gap between the two of you at long last.

Without even responding, Jotaro bent down to wrap his arms around your waist, lifting your feet off the ground and clutching you against his chest. You smiled as you felt him bury his nose against your neck.

You wrapped your own arms around his neck, one hand resting against the back of his head.

“You’re here.” His voice was muffled by your shirt, but you could hear him clear as day.

“I’m here.”

You remained like that for who knows how long, embracing one another like touch-starved fools, so lost in each other that you didn’t even register the stares from passersby.

After some time, Jotaro took his face away from your neck, returning your feet to the ground. Both hands were quick to cradle your cheeks, looking you over carefully with a cute upturn of his lips.

It was all so uncharacteristically soft that you almost felt as though he was a different person.

He hunched down, bringing his lips to yours in an emotional kiss. His lips moved against yours like a man starved, hand moving to feel your hair between his fingers. As he broke away to catch his breath, he pressed his forehead against your own.

“I love you, he spoke like it was a secret, something so important it was for your ears only, “so much.”

“I love you too, Jotaro.”

He kissed you again, a brief peck to your lips as if to seal your quiet promise, to legitimize it.

Before you could even stop them, tears began flowing down your cheeks only to be swiped away by Jotaro’s thumb.

“Oh, good grief,” he said, but it was nowhere near as biting as it could’ve been, “don’t cry.”

You chuckled at his assertion. This was the Jotaro you knew and loved. “Sorry.”

He pressed a sweet kiss to the crown of your head, hand reaching up to ruffle the hair there.

“Come on, mom’s making dinner.”

He grabbed your suitcase and turned to head towards the door, leaving you in the dust. Typical.

When you fell into step beside him, you laced your fingers with his, running your thumb along the back of his hand.

God, you could get used to this.

#jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro kujo imagine #jotaro x reader #jotaro imagine #jjba x reader #jjba imagine #soft jotaro is the best jotaro

[bella-donna418]

Everyone watching their own trailer

A/N: So I've been thinking of actors AU for SnK because... anti-depressant purposes (a something before she goes back to angst writing)

And this timeline is when the trailer was released, and BEFORE the premiering of the first episode for the final season (and idk why I'm making this just now WHEN THERE'S LITERALLY 7 EPISODES FOR SEASON 4 NOW-)

@shytomatomato also made a light bulb light up in my head bcs she used that hot Ereh gif (srsly I can't stop laughing of the caption I love you for it <3)

~~~

Ok here you go LOL

~~~

So they're all actors and stuff (like what I mentioned earlier)

And since they can't go home until 8 or 9 (I think this is the regular time actors go home, but might be later or smth)

They all just finished with their shooting/tapings and decided to rest in the lounge when Sasha thought of an idea.

She was like, "Let's watch TV!"

Everybody thought of it as something to pass time by—they can't really sleep too due to how much coffee they drank earlier to keep them from looking like they're exhausted or smth.

Everybody went to the lounge (idk if studios have lounges, but let's assume) and all sat their a$*es on the couches lazily (their obviously tired and relieved they finished)

Connie turns the TV on and went to YouTube (smart TVs ofc)

And the very first video that popped was the trailer they made.

"Y'all wanna watch this?" He asked.

Everyone nodded in agreement since they haven't watched it yet, and only saw a glimpse of their scenes being edited, but not the whole deal

Also, they're caught up with the manga and as usual... Connie and Sasha would laugh at the memes they're making  (these 2 never looked tired at all)

The lounge had food, most of them spend their free time their or while they're on break (or they go to restaurants when they feel like it)

So they're now watching the trailer

And then when the first scene popped up, they were just "woaaaahhh" and then they looked at Falco—ended up laughing as he curled up from embarrassment

Then the music suddenly intensified—all of them watching in awe as their mouths fell agape

And when Zofia, Udo, and Gabi's scene showed up they were now curling up and Falco just joined the laughter.

Also Sasha is recording these moments (for her vlogs)

"OMFG ZEKE AND REINER!" Ymir pointed out and everyone started laughing.

Their reactions are just them smiling and looking so tired (HAHAHAHAHA)

"Wow!! Gabi looking so great there." Pieck beamed and took a glance at Falco who seems to be frozen and blushing.

"Porco and Pieck!" Sasha and Connie laughed—earning a small glare from Levi since he's too annoyed of their noises and screaming.

"#Falco and Gabi moment" Zofia smugly said when the headbutt scene showed up earning a glare from the two.

Then guess their reaction to the Reiner going down the stairs scene.

Yup, all are literally teasing Reiner and laughing at him—Sasha and Connie, the meme masters, are literally making so many memes about it.

"The gun was disgusting!" He hissed.

"wHy cAn'T yOU jUsT LeT mE diE?" Jean finally joined the teasing of the two bakas who can't take anything seriously (Connie and Sasha usually laugh during tapings and they had to take so many tries)

"The airship scene took us like 50 tries because these two won't stop laughing." Mikasa retorted—earning a pout from the two.

"LMAOOO JEAN!" Connie joked and Jean just went ultra glare mode, but Connie laughed it off.

"The Sasha and Mikasa scene, though-" Annie smiled as she drank her iced coffee she didn't finish earlier.

"Stop-" Mikasa curled up and hid herself from everyone while Eren looked at her and decided to poke her out of her trance—works all the time.

"Annie, look! It's Armin!" Historia laughed at the two who were now looking away from each other, everyone joining in.

"Levi!" Hanji looked at the shorty beside her who seems to be hiding on her arm—making everyone laugh.

And then... this scene.

The scene we all went crazy for.

THE EREN FLEXIN THOSE ABS- (we're getting off topic, ahem.)

They all looked at Mikasa while she was just a blushing mess, trying to conceal herself from all humanity. The image of the scene still in her mind—Connie pausing the TV to troll her.

Sasha smirked and called to Mikasa.

"Mikasa! The scene is over now!" And Mikasa did what she wasn't supposed to do. Believing her.

So when she broke out of her position, the first thing to greet her, was that image from the scene.

Before she could hide again, Eren unexpectedly pulled her close to him—the poor girl blushing even harder and them earning "oooohhs.." (The ones with the most ooohhss were Zeke and Armin)

"JUST PLAY THE GODDAMN THING!" She shouted while hiding herself on Eren's chest making Sasha laugh and do what she said.

"Yelena be praising the airships." Annie said earning a smirk from Yelena.

"It's my new religion." She remarked making everyone laugh.

"The trailer is so badass especially Eren who was staring at the green screen." Jean laughed earning a glare from him.

"Also Eren can't even take the "I hate you" part seriously." Zeke grinned at his brother who seems to be comforting Mikasa who's just a blushing mess, and muffled screaming.

"Now I wonder for the first episode" Pieck suggested and looked at the clock.

"We still do have time for 1 or 2 episodes." Zeke said and relaxed himself on the couch and wiggling his eyebrows at Eren.

Bonus: They watched the first episode with Sasha and Connie laughing at the people involved in it (srsly these two are the noisy friends you have when smth great happens)

~~~

A/N: I'd say this HC is soo bad and not well planned. Sorry for a disappointing HC. (Just me bluntly putting what their reactions would be ahahahaha)

Anyway I'd say I was Mikasa alone in my room when the Eren scene showed up.

Personally, I think Zeke and Armin are the founders of the EreMika fan club OwO (the brother ships it probably mfg)

Like I said, my crass and blunt way of speaking are all included in every HC I make.

And these are what my mind all said HAHAHAHA-

#snk season 4 #shingeki no kyojin #snk headcanons #aot headcanons #modern day au #actors au #attack on titan #sasha blouse #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #annie leonhardt #connie springer #jean kirschstein #pieck finger #zeke jaeger #reiner braun #gabi braun #hanji zoe #levi ackerman #aot yelena #aot udo #aot zofia #falco grice #porco galliard #i'm a disappointment #i suck #time to write more angst #snk season 4 trailer

[thetrap]

why i think deancas just might go canon

i’ve been wanting to write this for a bit, but i haven’t really had the time until now. basically this is just a super unorganized collection of thoughts i have on why i think that dean and castiel actually have a fairly decent shot of becoming canon (and by decent shot i mean like.....a solid 5% chance. and that’s being generous). this is based off of the show itself (obviously), quotes from andrew dabb, and other things.

1. andrew dabb is deancas positive

i made a post a while back that never made it out of the drafts, but it was basically a summation of all the good deancas shit dabb has given us as a writer. here are the bullet points:

- the hug/"i'm not leaving here without you!" moment in purgatory (8x02) 

- "don't lose it over one man"

- "he's in love.....with humanity"

- cas/colette parallel ("dean. stop.") in 10x22

- just the fight scene from the prisoner in general like......wow

- sam/jess and dean/cas parallel in 12x23

- "we've lost everything......and now, you're gonna bring him back" + dean's just generally overwhelming grief in 13x01

- "and how is it that you lost dean? i thought the two of you were joined at the.....you know, everything"

and these are just the big moments.

also notable is the fact that an activist sent dabb (and some of the other producers of spn i think) a book about dean and cas and why the fans want it/why it would be a good thing for the show. a few years later, meghan fitzmartin (who wrote the most recent episode!) was hired as dabb’s assistant, went into his office and posted a tweet a with pictures of the book, saying something along the lines of “doing some reading for work!”

the fact that dabb actually kept a fanmade deancas book for years.....the fact that he’s consistently written episodes with really strong subtext for years.....the fact that the dean and castiel romantic tension has only picked up since he took over as showrunner (mixtape, lily sunder, cas’s death, dean’s grief arc, the entirety of season fifteen, etc.)......idk i just think it’s really interesting that there has been such a marked shift since he was put in charge.

2. the mixtape

i know this was a few seasons ago, but it’s still relevant because like. a mixtape is not platonic. this scene was not platonic. full-stop.

and it’s not even the act by itself; it’s also the dialogue!! “it was a gift. you keep those.” this is more than likely a direct callback to aragorn and arwen in lord of the rings (that’s the first thing i thought of, at least).

the fact that dabb let this slide, like......he knows what this looks like. berens and glynn, who wrote this episode, know what it looks like. they knew precisely how this would be perceived, and then wrote and aired the scene anyways.

and that’s not even getting into the camerawork. like what?? was this shot???

yeah so. definitely not platonic.

3. the trap

honestly i thought about just posting this part of this overlong essay thing, because to me, this is the episode where i went okay, so this might actually happen.

there are SO many things in this episode that made me go insane the first time i watched it (”i left, but you didn’t stop me”) but the thing that stuck out to me the most was dean’s reaction to castiel saying, “you don’t have to say it. i heard your prayer,” when dean tries to tell him something.

like?????? he does not look relieved!! nor does he look particularly happy!!

hell, if you go back and watch the video you can literally see him swallow his words down like....jensen ackles is the master of micro expressions and that shit is Not Accidental. this moment 100% gives the vibe that there is something that is not being said. the camera following dean as he gives cas a lingering look is really interesting too.

3. dabb’s comments about dean and cas in season 15

this part is actually sort of related to the point above, since a lot of dabb’s comments are in reference to “the trap.” here are some interesting ones that i want to point out:

But the Leviathan won’t be the focal point of the purgatory story. Rather, it’s about what Dean and Castiel are going through. “They’re not going to resolve the emotional stuff, but it allows them to redefine their friendship a little bit in light of what’s happened especially earlier this season,” Dabb says. (x)

the key thing here is that dabb said that, in 15x09, dean and cas are “not going to resolve the emotional stuff.”

now. i don’t know about you, but dean falling to his knees, praying to cas and weeping feels a lot like emotional resolution to me. like, sure, things will probably be awkward between them for a while, but surely this is the peak moment of their emotional vulnerability with each other, right? surely this is the moment where they’ve resolved the issue between them? like how the fuck does it get more intensely emotional than this??

yet dabb seems to be implying that it will, which leaves us with the million dollar question: what is left about dean and cas’ relationship to resolve?

keep in mind that as of 15x16, there hasn’t been much forward movement on that front; that is, we’ve had some cute moments between them, but in terms of serious conversation about their relationship, there’s been basically nothing. so we can assume that this development, whatever it is, will occur in 15x18, since dean and cas will be separated for most of 15x17, as cas will be off with sam.

aka the episode where cas will likely get yanked away by the empty. aka the episode with the teary (!!!) conversation we saw in the promo between dean and cas.

also notable from the above quote is dabb saying that dean and cas are redefining their friendship. like....redefining how? to what?? that wording is just really interesting to me.

another quote from dabb re “the trap”:

(x)

it forces them to “start that process.” indicating yet again that the prayer scene between dean and cas is not the moment where whatever is between them is resolved. yet, from where we are right now, dean and cas seem mostly fine. which means that whatever they have yet to work out doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their fight.

lastly:

a really significant chunk of what happens to dean in 15x09 is him confronting his issues with cas. don’t get me wrong - there are other important things that happen in the episode - but the fact that an episode where so much time/emotional energy is given to dean and cas’ dynamic is considered a turning point for dean is very notable and, to me, speaks to the importance of their relationship for the rest of the season.

4. dean/cas and sam/eileen being set up as units

i’m of the opinion that sam and dean will (by choice) go their separate ways at the end of the show. i think this for a variety of reasons that i wrote about here, and to add onto this, i think that dean/cas and sam/eileen are, in a way, being set up as two units.

this theory comes from two points:

1. the fact that eileen got brought back at all

this isn’t to say that eileen isn’t an interesting character all on her own/outside of her romance with sam, but the fact that they brought her back and then proceeded to set her up in this romance feels really significant to me. what’s especially interesting is how, even after she leaves in 15x09, we get a continuation of their romance in 15x14. i don’t necessarily think that she’s sam’s endgame in the sense that the final episode will show sam going to her or whatever, but i do think that part of the reason she was brought back was so that sam would have someone who he loves/someone he could potentially build a life with after he and dean defeat chuck.

2. the way the two couples were portrayed in “the trap”

like....just watch the future scenes in the bunker. there’s very much a sense that these are two couples living together. and “ever since the mark made cas go crazy, ever since i had to bury him in a ma’lak box.” note the use of i, not we. and then dean/cas and sam/eileen are directly paralleled when dean tells sam he needs to give it up after eileen’s death, comparing it to how dean has given it up after having to bury cas in the ma’lak box.

5. dean does not do Well without cas

this is probably an understatement. there have been a couple of notable instances in this season where the viewer is given a glimpse of what happens to dean when cas dies/is in danger of death/is separated from dean (in case the whole ass widower arc in s13 wasn’t enough).

two of these are from “the trap”:

1. dean freaking out/crying/praying when he’s separated from cas in purgatory

2. dean giving up on life/hunting after burying cas in the ma’lak box in the future world

3. dean’s reaction to cas temporarily going to the empty in 15x13

the one i want to spend the most time on is number two, in large part because sam was witness to it and i think that this might get brought up in 15x17.

part of my spec for that episode is that cas will tell sam about his deal/sam will find out somehow, and in reaction sam might tell cas about how dean reacted to his death in s13 - a conversation that was notably absent from the show when cas finally returned in 13x05. i also think that he might mention no. 2 above, basically telling cas that if he dies, dean is done. that he won’t be able to handle it/move past it. the show has been telling us this over and over for a while now, and it’s only been emphasized more in season 15. i think that 15x17 is the episode where this will finally be verbally expressed.

to me, all of this emphasis on dean giving up when cas is gone isn’t for nothing. in my opinion, it’s being done very purposefully to set up an endgame where dean and cas are together in some sense of the word. and a lot of what i’ve said above is what makes me think it’ll be a Romantic together.

5. bobo berens’ three part deancas saga

so we all know that berens is pretty much spn’s foremost deancas warrior, and what i want to point out here is how this season has been utilizing him as a writer.

this season, berens has three solo episodes (he wrote “galaxy brain” with meredith glynn):

1. the rupture

2. the trap

3. despair (formerly known as “the truth”)

so far, these first two episodes have had major deancas moments. you could even label them as:

1. the rupture (the breakup)

2. the trap (the reconciliation)

3. depair (???)

keep in mind also that berens wrote 14x18, where the dean and cas sort of had a preliminary breakup. he’s been in charge of this arc for a while, and the fact that so much of his writing this season has been deancas focused.......i don’t know, i just think it’s significant in part because, while berens has always been deancas positive, he also writes plenty of episodes that aren’t focused on dean and cas. but now, in the final season, the dean and cas emotional arc has been handed to him, and it’s been the primary focus on his writing.

(sidenote: berens was promoted to executive producer for this final season)

to me, this is all leading to a big moment between dean and cas in 15x18 - and the fact that it was at one point called “the truth,” only to be switched back to despair - makes me think that there will be some sort of confession involved. my money is on cas being the one to say it (especially since this would line up with the leak), especially given the glimpse we saw of (what might be) this moment in the promo. which leads me to...

6. cas does not cry

i saved this for last because the promo where we see teary-eyed cas is actually what pulled me back into this shitshow.

cas does not cry. like. ever. he got a little teary in 15x15, when jack told him of his plan to sacrifice himself, but we have never - never - seen him shed actual tears. and in the promo, particularly that shot where cas says “you have fought for this whole world,” it 100% looks like cas is about to cry cry.

cas has seen his son die. he has seen dean die. he died himself, over and over and over. and we have never seen him cry.

yet for some reason, in this moment of vulnerability with dean, he’s crying. i find it highly unlikely that cas would cry because of his impending death, for a number of reasons (for one, he wouldn’t want to upset dean more than he has to). so, assuming he’s not crying because of his own death, then what is making cas so emotional that he is genuinely crying for the first time in the twelve seasons he has been on the show?

my guys.....i can only think of one thing.

#THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG OH MY GOD #i'm so sorry for this i just have SO many thoughts about this and had to get them all down #disclaimer: i still think it's highly unlikely we'll get confirmed romantic deancas #but i do think there's a chance #and this is why #deancas #destiel #s15 spoilers #spec

[honeybee-babe]

Ficlet: Adam+Eric and Ruby+Otis on Another Double Date and Adam’s Allergies Act Up

(brief glimpse of Lily+Ola at the end)

Another cute/fluffy fic featuring sneezy Adam, this time with lots of cute Ruby bits! Canon compliant.

2,018 words

The second time Adam and Eric went on a double date with Otis and Ruby, they had decided to go to the park down the street from the Milburn residence for a picnic.

It was still September pollen count was manageable, so Adam thought he could handle it. He'd been meaning to stop taking his Claritin for the season and decided last night would be a good time. If he took them too much, he found that they became less effective.

What he hadn't been expecting was that Ruby would be wearing so much freaking perfume.

"You two excited to chat more about your terrible taste in reality TV?" Otis teased as he poured everyone a solo cup of pilfered red wine from his mom's pre-pregnancy stash.

"Most people like to stay updated on pop culture," Ruby said, flashing him a condescending little smile and taking a sip of wine.

"Plus, it's wicked funny!" Eric defended, elbowing Adam to get him to agree -- which he did, nodding before taking a long sip of his wine to try to cover up his nose twitching, indulging in a few scrunches in that time. He'd never had wine before. It was weird but oddly delicious. "We watch it together sometimes now. You should try watching it with Ruby, y'know it can't hurt to show some interest in the things your girlfriend likes.”

"I will watch the Kardashians when she plays Smash Bros."

"I am not playing a stupid video game, especially not one with a disgusting title like that."

"...what do you think Smash Bros is about?"

For some reason, the wine seemed to be making Adam’s nose more itchy. He set his cup down and rubbed at it a bit, while everyone else was thankfully too invested in the argument to notice.

He still hadn't sneezed in front of anyone except Eric, and even around him he still stifled, occasionally managing an half-stifle (well, more of a 3/4 stifle). This was just not an insecurity he could fully conquer overnight.

Unfortunately, the red wine was really setting him over the edge. Normally in this situation, he'd just excuse himself to the bathroom for a minute to go sneeze in peace and take his meds. Or if he really couldn't hold back in the middle of a class or something, he'd just find some time when the teacher wasn't looking to stifle into silence. He typically sat in the back so that wasn't an issue.

But unfortunately, he didn't have either of those luxuries at the moment. And it was a double allergen -- something he wasn't used to. Maybe now was the time for him to push his phobia a bit further.

Eric's explanation of the game and Ruby's unexpected curiosity and interest in it (maybe it was the wine talking?) proved another distraction, as he finally indulged in a silent stifle, turning away from Eric just in time.

As usual, the force rocked him to the side quite a bit, and his wine sloshed in his cup from the force, and Eric immediately grabbed it from him before it could actually spill, knowing there were at least two more coming (and Adam spilled shit on himself enough when he wasn't involuntarily and repeatedly convulsing). Thankfully, Adam managed to squash them both into silence too.

“Gesundheit,” Otis said casually as Eric and Ruby went on talking. Adam nodded his thanks to him as Eric handed him back his cup and squeezed his hand. He knew Adam was weird about sneezing around other people and he was glad that he was making steps to get over it.

The conversation dragged on, Adam offering little grunts and one word answers of agreement with Eric. Otis and Ruby (begrudgingly) agreed to try watching the show and playing the game, respectively.

Adam's nose was still itchy, but he could keep it at bay with occasional (and well-timed) rubs and sniffs -- and by avoiding the wine. 

All was well, until they started in on their pizza gluten free pizza. It really wasn’t that bad, and Ruby really appreciated that no one had made a fuss about it. Otis went to refill everyone's wine cups.

"Adam, you've barely touched your wine." he observed, seeming disappointed. “Usually you finish your drink before everyone else. Do you not like it?"

"No, uh. It's really good. It’s just, uh," Adam hesitated. “...wine gives me the shits sometimes, so. Probably shouldn’t risk it.”

Everyone exchanged a mutual look of disgust, Ruby in particular.

"Well, there goes my appetite.” She tossed down her pizza slice and went for another sip of wine. "TMI, much?"

"So, uh," Eric cleared his throat. "What about that assembly today, huh? Quite the disaster."

"I'd rather not bring Hope Hadden into my safe space, thanks.”

"This is your safe space?"

"Wherever there's wine and gluten free pizza, I feel safe." Just as Ruby said that, Adam took a rather large bite of his own slice, leaving a big splotch of sauce on his chin. Out of habit, Ruby went in with her napkin. It wasn’t her fault, she was used to cleaning up for her father, and he and Adam both radiated the same fuckwit energy.

"Uh... thanks?" Adam commented, a little bit embarrassed. Ruby's hand flew back down to her cup as soon as she realized her mistake, hiding her face in her cup.

"You trying to flirt with my boyfriend, Ruby?" Eric joked.

"No, it was just disgusting to look at!" she insisted, flushing a bit red, maybe not due to just the wine. "You should really invest in an etiquette class," she said rather condescendingly to Adam, who wasn't listening because he was gearing up for another sneeze. He’d been set off a second time, this time due to the unexpected proximity to Ruby’s heavily perfumed wrist.

He indulged in another triple, this time punctuating the first two silent ones with a more substantial half-stifle.

“hh’MPtsh! Fuck,” he vocalized on a heavy sigh in the aftermath. Eric rubbed his arm tenderly, which he’d been doing since the second sneeze in this set. Ruby and Otis shot each other a look.

"Babe," Eric started once he was sure that was it, removing his hand from Adam's arm to instead tilt the sniffling boy's face to him. He was clearly flushed and his eyes were a bit watery. "Did you forget to take your meds last night?"

"Uh, no. I didn't." Adam muttered, sniffling rather loudly. Sneezing in front of them was bad enough without Eric commenting on it, even though Adam knew it was from a place of love. "I stopped taking them last week, remember?"

"Why would you not take antihistamines before a picnic if you've got allergies?" Ruby asked, clearly unimpressed.

"The pollen count wasn't supposed to be high today."

"Well, clearly it is.”

"Actually, it’s not," Otis cut in, showing off his phone screen. "I just looked it up.”

"Are you getting sick, babe?" Eric asked, putting a hand to Adam's forehead. "You do look a little flushed."

"No," Adam backed away from him, swatting his hand away from him. He really did not do well with everyone staring at him. "It's, uh, I think it's the wine. It was, uh. It was kinda bothering my nose."

"Why wouldn't you just tell us that?" Ruby asked. "That's a much better image than you shitting yourself."

"I've heard wine can bother people with hayfever," Otis commented, taking the bottle and moving it away from Adam as if that was going to help. "But you haven't been drinking any. You sure you're not sick?" Otis asked, inching away from him a bit now. Eric had mentioned he could be a bit of a germaphobe.

"Uh, no. Not sick," Adam said, trying for an awkward little smile. "Just the wine... and I think Ruby's perfume, a bit.

There was a moment of silence, as if Adam had just said something highly offensive. Ruby tensed up the moment he said that.

"It is Ariana Grande," she defended. "And it's quite expensive!"

"Well," Eric said tentatively. "You are kind of wearing a lot of it.”

Otis shot Ruby a sympathetic little grin. Before Eric and Adam had gotten to his house, he had commented on it himself. Ruby embarrassedly admitted that they’d had to run in a mile in gym class today, and she hadn't had time to shower in the time between getting home from school and driving up to Otis’ house was because she had been literally bathing her own father instead. Hence, the perfume bath.

“It smells really good," Adam explained through a mouthful of pizza, “it just bothers my allergies.” He sniffled again for good measure and rubbed his eyes a bit.

"Your eyes are all red, love," Eric pointed out, rubbing his shoulder again. "Maybe we should go back to yours and get some meds in you."

"I've got some at my place, actually," Otis offered. "We could go back and watch a movie or something? Wine's almost done, and it is getting dark. Hey, maybe we could watch the Kardashians." He smiled at Ruby.

"And you can teach me Smash Bros," Ruby offered, returning his smile and then turning to Adam. "As long as Sneezy here is okay with it?"

"Y-yeah. I'm good with that," Adam offered, actually chuckling a bit at the silly name-calling, and turned to Eric. He was relieved that no one made a big deal about, and pleasantly surprised at how eager they were to accommodate him. You good with that, babe?"

"Of course.” Eric kissed him on the nose mischievously, thankfully not causing another fit. “My second and third favorite things."

And so they walked back to the house, Otis and Ruby chattering away and holding hands, passing the wine bottle between the two of them and taking swigs of it until it was finished, the latter getting increasingly less unpleasant to be around the tipsier she got.

Adam and Eric trailed behind, also holding hands, mostly quiet except for the latter occasionally commenting on how much of a lightweight the other couple in front of them both were. Adam sneezed silently a few more times as they walked. Eric, knowing how uncomfortable he still was about it, chose not to bless him and alert the others, but rather to squeeze his hand and shoot him a sympathetic smile each time, leaning his head on his sniffly boyfriend's shoulder as they made their way up the steps to the Milburn-Nyman residence.

Ruby showered, and put on one of Otis' t-shirts and a rolled-up, comically too long pair of his sweatpants. They'd never seen her without makeup before. She was somehow prettier this way. And also a lot more talkative.

Ola had Lily over, and they tentatively came downstairs to grab some crisps halfway into the group's chosen episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians (the Viagra one, of course -- what else would this group have chosen?). Surprisingly, Ruby was the one who asked if they wanted to join in, claiming she was getting “testosterone poisoning” from being around the three boys for so long. No one bothered to correct her and tell her what the term actually meant.

Adam got a little tense again when she explained to the two of them why they'd had to cut their picnic short and why she was wearing “loser clothes,” but he relaxed again when they didn't make a fuss about it either. Lily even said that perfumes bothered her too, sometimes. Who woulda thought?

But the party didn't really start until they started playing Smash Bros, which is how they spent the rest of the night -- boys vs girls, of course. Girls team reigned superior most rounds, mostly thanks to Ola's mad skills (and Otis and Adam letting them win -- Eric was way too competitive for that, of course).

All in all, it was a great night, and Adam walked Eric home feeling a little bit more comfortable with himself. That was a recurring theme with him, these days, after all.

#adam groff #eric effiong #otis milburn #ruby matthews #sex education #ro #eric/adam #adam/eric #effoff #ruby/otis #otis/ruby #sex education season 3 #sex education fanfiction #ola nyman #lily iglehart #lily/ola #ola/lily #adam groff snz #sex educaiton snz #sex education snzfic #snz #snz fic

[recklessmark]

serendipity

he was the one i wasn't looking for —Nikki Rowe

—2:07am, 3rd december

you’ve just gotten out of work, exhausted. people always said choose the job that makes you happy, and you chose your job for the money. not to sound greedy but you would rather die in a mansion. so it’s not weird when you are waiting at the bus stop at 2am in the morning, a well-paid career requires more than you expected.

“do you have a lighter?”

you looked up from the ground to see a 5’9 man standing in front of you. you observed the stranger’s figures, you’re used to be outside this late so dealing with creeps is not a problem. but to be honest, this man looked handsome, he had something that radiates a childish energy. generally you would say that he’s fine as hell. he had a cigarette between his teeth, which made you assume that he was wanting to light up the cigarette.

you snapped out when he cocked an eyebrow at you, your hand dived in your bag to find the lighter. you do smoke, not regularly but sometimes it helps you relieve stress.

“here you are.”

the corner of his mouth curled up, the light of the small fire made his face brighten up, your heart unintentionally beated faster.

“thank you.”, he gave you back the lighter and then shifted to stand next to you.

“you smoke?”

you heard he asked, blowing the white smoke into the cold air of the snowy season and then it slowly vanished.

“yes, occasionally.”

he nods, “i know when people smoke.”

as if he could read your mind, many people around you do not know the fact that you smoke but a stranger you met 2 minutes ago can know it without you saying anything.

“i think it’s your bus.”

the transport slowly approached you, there’s only one bus active from 12am until the next morning.

“hey, we will meet again.”

the stanger gave you the last sentence before he walked away making you smile slightly. oh, you forgot to ask what his name was.

—5:20pm, 18th december

you almost tripped over while rushing to catch the last bus. you had a survey to do in the downtown, if you missed this bus you couldn’t go back to the city until the next day. fortunately, you were still quick enough to be the last passenger on the bus. while you were finding a seat for yourself, you saw a familiar man, you must have met him before but you’re clearly not a person who has a good memory. however this man is special enough to make that scene quickly flashed back in your mind, he was the stranger you met that day.

“hello, do you mind-?”

“oh hi, it’s you! alright you can sit here.”

the man moved to sit next to the window, left you a seat next to him.

“thank you.” you sit down and continued talking to him.

“did you cut your hair? i didn’t recognize you.”

he chuckles, “even my mom can barely recognize me.”

you don’t know if it’s considered a coincidence when you met him again, you didn’t complain though.

“oh, i forgot to ask you that day, what’s your name, i’m y/n.”

“i’m mark, mark lee.”

when you two had already arrived in the city, mark invited you to have dinner with him and who are you to refuse it? every second being with mark was pure joy, he told you funny stories which gave you a lot of serotonin. he’s definitely the finest man you have ever met in your life, well, you didn’t just fall for a man you only met two times throughout your whole entire lifetime, you didn’t.

“y/n, i think i should tell you this.”

“yes?”

“i’m moving to another town, for working.”

you could’t tell if you were sad, shocked or bitter but it’s complicated what you felt. it’s like somebody stole something from you, a precious thing.

“when?”

“tomorrow.”

that meant this was probably the last time you could see him. mark was a stranger after all but why did you care about him so much. before you two splitted in your directions, mark suggested to exchange numbers and you did, you genuinely wanted to keep in touch with this guy.

“hey, text me when you get home!”, mark hollered with a wide smile.

—7:54pm, 20th december

you‘d just gotten out of the shower, water running on the strands of your hair and dropping down to the floor. you quickly stepped towards the nightstand to find your phone when you heard the message ringtone.

|7:54pm| mark lee: hi, how are you doing? you didn’t text me :(

you bit your lips as the message popped up on your lockscreen, you almost forgot about mark.

|7:55pm| you: hi, i’ve been being busy lately, i’m so sorry

|7:55pm| mark lee: don’t be, you look prettier when you smile :) and take some rest tho, no need to tuck in those paperwork.

|7:56pm| mark lee: oh but i have something to tell you, i’ll come back to your town, for christmas break. can i take you out for a date on christmas?

you blinked at the text message, feeling butterflies in your stomach. he’s literally asking you out for a date, a date on christmas specifically. you do know some guys have a crush on you but you weren’t ready for commitment but mark, there’s something about this man that makes you want to go for him. you want mark in your life.

you didn’t notice that you were smiling until the screen of your phone went black, reflecting the obvious curl on your lips. you realized you had left mark on read for ages.

|7:59pm| you: sure! text me when you’re back!

|8:00pm| mark lee: okay, goodnight ❤️ *have a nice dream about me :)*

you flopped yourself on your bed, the moonlight dancing on your face. december, always be the best time of the year.

—11:16pm, 24th december

you’re walking along the pathway, it feels like the first time you enjoy your christmas night outside since you spent your time inside the apartment every year. mark is stepping slowly beside you, he gave you his scarf when you two got out of the restaurant, in case you’re getting cold. you inhale a deep breath, the fresh air mixes with the charming cologne of mark lights you up.

“i have something to show you.”

mark stops at his track, turns around to face you. you two are not alone, there are plenty of people walking pass you, some of them are delighted family. you look at him, your hand comes to catch his arm, pulling him to a bench beside the street.

“what is it?”, you ask softly.

you see his hand shoves inside the pocket of his jacket, taking out a small velvet box. you curiously wonder what’s inside when mark hands you the box.

it’s a platinum manacle. it’s curved with a word said ‘serendipity’ on the surface. mark takes the bracelet out of the box, his hand find yours, spreading some warm into your cold hand. and then he put the bracelet on your wrist, the metal sparkles in the darkness.

“gladly it fits you, i made it myself. the curving part was challenging, hopefully it doesn’t look to bad.”, he muses while tracing his thumb along the cuff.

“i love it.”

you words made mark raises his head up as his eyes meet your gaze. you give him a nonchalant smile.

“do you know what ‘serendipity’ means?”

mark asks quietly, his hand plays with your fingers.

“an unexpected luck, i don’t know but there’s one thing i know for certain-“, you intertwine your hand with his, “my serendipity is you, mark lee.”

©️  DREAMYKRAM. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

#nct mark #mark lee #mark scenarios #mark smut #nct smut #nct u mark #nct mark blurbs #nct 127 blurbs #nct blurbs #nct imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct mark lee #nct x reader #nct mark imagines #mark lee imagines #mark imagines #mark lee blurbs #mark lee scenarios #mark blurbs #mark boyfriend #mark lee smut #mark lee drabbles #mark lee boyfriend #mark drabbles #nct drabbles

[dukeofonions]

“Because I was one of them.”

“Oh, okay cool.”

Or alternatively: Why Virgil’s confession has lost it’s impact.

Exploring the Dark Sides (Part One)

Something I realized the other day is that a lot of my current issues with this series wouldn’t exist if there was a consistent uploading schedule. 

You see when there’s a steady stream of new content flowing I’m more inclined to just go with the flow and not spend so much time looking back analyzing things I’ve already floated past because why should I when there’s so much new stuff ahead? 

But say that stream suddenly comes to an abrupt stop and I’m left sitting with nowhere else to go. At that point I start looking back, noticing little things that I hadn’t noticed during my initial trip down this metaphorical river. I now notice all the jagged rocks, how shallow the water actually is, etc. 

And while this doesn’t necessarily ruin my experience over all, I’m left scratching my head wondering whose idea it was to come to this place anyway. Sure it’s not the worst place to go floating, but surely there’s a better place with deeper water and less hazards. Just an easier way to float along where one doesn’t have to worry about the stream suddenly ending. 

I don’t know where this metaphor came from but to sum it up: since there are such long waits (years now) between actual Sanders Sides episodes and there’s a lack of new content to take in, I’m left looking back over what we have now and during my little look backs I’ve begun to notice some things that cause issues with the latest additions to the series. 

Some of the more interesting things I’ve noticed revolve around the three resident “Dark Sides” and how they’re written in the series. While a lot of it is really good and I think they’ve got some of the best moments in the series, there’s also a lot of little things that pop up that, when looking at the series as a whole, don’t make a lot of sense. 

Which is why I’ve begun this little series where I do a little deep dive into some of these things I’ve noticed and break them down to see if I can try and make sense of it, and this post is going to focus on Virgil.

More specifically, Virgil’s confession to being a former “Dark Side” and how it’s kinda lost it’s thunder.

As per usual, this is all my own opinion and you’re free to agree or disagree as you see fit. Of course I get pretty salty but I try to avoid getting too negative because where’s the fun in that? 

Anywho, on with the show! 

I’ll admit, despite my problems with the concept of “Dark Sides” as a whole, I genuinely loved the subplot of Virgil hiding that he used to be one of them from Thomas.

From a story telling standpoint they do a good job with the foreshadowing, leaving plenty of clues for the audience to find and it all pays off at the end. It’s also unclear at first whether Roman, Logan, and Patton know (Spoiler alert they do) and there’s some close calls via Janus and Remus dropping hints in front of Thomas which cause Virgil to freak out and adds some tension to the series. 

It also provides a bit of a mystery around Virgil, Janus, and Remus as while it’s clear that the three have some kind of history together we’re never told or shown explicitly how their relationship was. Of course, we’re given plenty of hints, but we have yet to know what life was like when Virgil was “one of them” and it gives the audience more to look forward to and theorize about. 

And of course, the actual reveal itself is amazing. The acting, the music, the complete silence after Virgil confesses and him looking like he’s about to cry as he sinks out is just *cheff’s kiss* perfect.

So what exactly is the problem here? 

The foreshadowing? There’s just enough to get people theorizing but still plenty of room for people to speculate without spelling everything out. 

The reveal? What can I say, I don’t have any complaints here. It’s definitely one of my favorite scenes from the series and I can’t find a single thing wrong with it from a technical stand point.

But as mentioned before, I started thinking about it more, and after taking everything we know about Virgil and "the dark sides" into account, this question suddenly came to mind:

Why is Thomas so shocked by this?

Think about it, when Virgil first appeared he was a little bitch. He was kind of the first antagonist of the series. Not evil per say, but compared to the other Sides he was a little shit who enjoyed bringing Thomas down. He was very much what one might consider a "dark side."

He wasn't ever trying to act like a "good guy" in order to earn Thomas's trust or anything, he was very open about what his role was and how it’s just who he is. So really, Thomas's reaction should have been something along the lines of, "Oh, okay. Makes sense."

Of course, we do see Virgil change over time and we learn that he isn't as bad as he seems (even though that seems questionable now) but that should have made his "past" even more obvious.

Like, Thomas, the guy had a whole acceptance arc because he was a bitch and no one liked him. You were literally there throughout his entire journey, it shouldn't surprise you that he was once part of a group you consider to be "evil."

Well okay, maybe Virgil just wanted to be honest regardless of whether or not the "dark sides" are actually evil or not. Who knows? Maybe he chose to confess when he did because he saw how horribly Remus had been affecting Thomas and seeing as he felt as though he'd failed to protect Thomas from Remus and Janus, figured he might as well try to protect Thomas from himself as well.

Which, okay, if that were the case then that could explain Thomas's reaction. He'd just met Remus, saw him at what could he his worst (we've only had one actual episode with Remus so who knows how bad he can get?) and while he learned that he's actually pretty easy to deal with and isn't as scary as he thought, who's to say the reverse couldn't happen with Virgil?

He saw that he wasn't as bad as he thought, but when you look at how nasty Virgil's been lately, who's to say that couldn't happen? It's been said that Virgil, as Thomas's anxiety, is manageable and isn't as bad as others. But we've literally seen Thomas say that he's afraid of what Virgil could do and so he just kind of has to let him do his thing in order to avoid all the "bad stuff" he could do.

According to Thomas: "There's a lot that Virgil could do that I don't want him to do. He knows exactly how to push my buttons. But he is who he is. All we can do is try to listen to him as best as we can and adapt to his needs."

(For anyone who wants to watch the clip here's the time stamp Embarrassing Phases 20:31)

Uh, yeah, that sounds super healthy there. But I'll get into my issues with that little message in another post.

Just before this though, Roman had asked Thomas if "He's (Virgil) going back to being scary can I go back to calling him names?"

Thomas responds by telling him as he's leaving that he still has to be nice to him, before Logan expresses that he's glad (or relieved) that Virgil didn't go into Thomas's "girl phase" which just hearing it being mentioned seems to stress Thomas out. Then finally after Logan leaves Patton explains that while he's trying to respect Virgil's wants and still be a good friend, he feels like he just makes things worse which is where Thomas attempts to reassure him.

Except his advice is to just, let Virgil do what he wants so he doesn't hurt them? And while he says they need to work with Virgil it doesn't seem like he's requiring Virgil to work with him as well in order to not make his life miserable?

Hm, is it possible that my answer as to why Thomas reacts so strongly to Virgil being "one of them" lies within my least favorite episode in the series?

Perhaps Thomas was already starting to be afraid of Virgil before the whole confession in DWIT, and has gotten to a point where he's forcing himself (shown by him telling the others to keep "being nice to Virgil" despite how he treats them) to just take whatever Virgil throws at him in order to spare himself from whatever worse things Virgil could do to him?

That, added with everything that happens in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, where Thomas witnesses a Side of himself that appears to be worse than Virgil, could have set him on edge. And if Remus, who he considers a dark side, who he openly admits to hating and is so afraid of him that he loses sleep, then just how bad could Virgil be if he was ever at his worst?

With all that in mind, yeah. It does make sense why Thomas would react the way he did and why he'd be cautious of trusting Virgil in the future.

Except, none of this has actually been confirmed within the series and is purely speculation and since we still don't have the season two finale, we really have no idea what Thomas actually feels towards the situation since he kinda brushes it off at the end of DWIT by doing the outro.

But wait... we actually do know how Thomas feels. In fact, we already know how the issue is resolved!

Looks like it's time for-

How Asides Ruins Everything!

You all remember when Asides was first announced, right? These were meant to be shorter, lighter videos that took place outside of the current series and were meant to give us content in between the long breaks for regular Sanders Sides episodes that also wouldn't get in the way of filming said episodes.

Well we all know how that little idea turned out seeing as it's now been a year since Putting Others First and they decided that we needed to have two Asides episodes before the finale that were apparently essential to the "plot" even though the current plot in Sanders Sides has nothing to do with Thomas getting a boyfriend but I digress.

But you know, I wouldn't be as upset about the Asides causing us having to wait longer for the actual story to pick up again, if the Asides episodes didn't ruin the actual series!

How did it manage this? Well, let's just look at Virgil here and the entire point of this post which is, as the title states, why his confession has lost its impact.

And the answer? Well, at some point the writer's decided that the best way to resolve the new conflict between Thomas and Virgil was to have them indirectly make amends by using some random character that is clearly just a stand in for Virgil and use this character's "confession of a past they weren't proud of" as a way to discuss the situation and Thomas's feelings on the matter just to have Thomas indirectly assure Virgil that they're still "okay" and it doesn't bother him.

So according to Asides, Thomas is just fine with Virgil despite his confession. And as we see in the following Asides episode, they're still cool with each other!

So what was the point of that dramatic confession, which was being built up towards throughout pretty much all of season two, just to have the characters indirectly discuss it and make amends like it was nothing???

Why should the audience care when it all just gets brushed aside (ha) like it's no big deal?

Everything was in place for Virgil's reveal before the Asides came into the picture. You had the build up, you had the pay off, there was the suspense when Virgil was completely absent from POF, and then you would have had him confronting Thomas and the two having to directly come to terms with this new information.

But nope! Let's just have them sit awkwardly by each other on the couch while they watch Frozen in onesies while everyone keeps talking about some random character whom the audience has never heard of before that we're supposed to figure out is meant to represent Virgil and Thomas is all "Nah we're still cool bro."

What's supposed to happen now? Janus is supposedly a "good guy" now so why would he bring up Virgil's past to get under his skin? And if he still does why would it bother Thomas since he's already come to terms with it?

Look, even though I've got my problems with the concept of "dark sides" as a whole, it wouldn't have mattered to me if they'd at least committed to telling a good story here with Virgil's past because I was genuinely interested in that.

I freaked out when he told Thomas, and initially I thought we weren't going to see those two interact again until the finale where Virgil would finally have to face Thomas and we'd get to watch how he comes to terms with it. And if Asides hadn't been a thing and we had gone straight from DWIT to POF it looks like this was the direction they were headed.

But instead we're basically told (not shown) by Thomas that he's fine with Virgil. And the reason as to why Virgil's not in POF despite being on good terms with Thomas?

"There was just no reason for him to be there."

Really? There was no reason for Virgil, who was directly part of the discussion that led to POF in the first place, to be present during the aftermath of the decision they all had helped Thomas make?

There was more reason for him to be there than Logan and he still showed up! They had the perfect explanation set up for them in DWIT: Virgil had just revealed his past to Thomas and due to being afraid of how he'd respond (or just wanting to give Thomas space and not stress him out more) chose to remain absent from the conversation.

That actually makes sense and lines up with the story but nope.

The "Dark Sides" and Virgil's past with them was one of my favorite things about the series. The mystery surrounding it all and Virgil trying to protect Thomas from them while keeping his own history with them a secret was a brilliant concept thats just kinda fallen flat on its face.

The long waits between episodes don't help, and how they're rushing through certain aspects within the series itself along with Asides coming in and muddling things up, I don't really care to be invested anymore.

Why should I when there's a chance anything interesting they come up with will just be glossed over like it's no big deal?

It's hard to make a final judgment here in regards to Virgil's current arc when we still have no conclusion in sight. But from what we've seen from Asides, which is now integral to the plot of Sanders Sides, we kinda already have our answer.

Thomas and Virgil are just fine with each other. We learned that Flirting With Social Anxiety takes place right after POF and that Virgil already knows about Janus getting on Thomas's good side so there's no suspension with him finding out about that either.

All that's really left with him is his troubling relationship with Patton but I don't even care about that anymore. They've hardly addressed it at all and given what we've been seeing I doubt the conclusion to their strained relationship won't be satisfying either.

I don't know what the finale, or the rest of the series, will hold concerning Virgil. While I hope that things will turn around and get better, at this current rate it doesn't seem likely.

Episodes are still taking years to make, and the ones we're getting are just distracting from the main plot or taking things away.

Virgil isn't the only character suffering from this, but at least he's not as worse off as others.

Which is why in the next installment of this series, we'll be taking a look at a little, yellow snake and how one of the characters with the most potential ended up being the most underwhelming parts of the series.

#dukeofcritical #exploringthedarksides

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

You may have seen this going around but people are hating JJ for snapping at Reid in 10x11. Like maybe she shouldn’t of done that but she was having a literal breakdown and her ptsd affecting her a lot. Not to mention that Reid did the same when Emily asked if he was okay when he was going through his drug addiction and ptsd after Hankel but yet no one gives him hate for it. Emily also snapped at Garcia in 6x17 when Garcia checked up on her. They two were also going through a lot but people still defend them while JJ who also did the same as them gets the most hate (which doesn’t surprise me with this fandom). And at the end of 10x11 JJ thanked Reid for helping her and in a way apologised. Also Reid, Emily and Garcia didn’t take it personally when they were snapped at as they could tell something was going on. When you’re going through something especially trauma it’s possible you may end up snapping at someone and we shouldn’t give them hate for it.

Sorry for this rant, I’m just annoyed that people are hating on JJ for going through something traumatic

Hi thank you so much anon!

I don't know exactly what happened recently regarding this situation, but after reading this ask, I 100% agree with you! You are more than welcome to rant about this because I feel the same way. I think I have seen something like this in the past, and I still don't understand the JJ hate, which I will get at the end of the post under the cut. (I also apologize in advance if this is all over the place haha)

I think JJ has the right to feel the way she feels in 10x11. JJ probably thought Reid means well when he was asking if she was ok, but it also seemed very clear that she didn't want to talk about it. She also didn't want them to cause a scene in a place where it's public. Like you said, it seemed pretty similar to the scene about Reid getting mad at JJ for hiding the fact that Emily was still alive. He didn't get much hate as JJ did in that moment, too. Even people were blaming JJ for "hurting Reid's feelings" because she had to protect someone very close to her and the team. JJ already felt guilty having to lie to the team and while Hotch wasn't the target of Reid's anger, he still felt responsible for his actions and Reid's feelings. In fact, Hotch has made that clear for everyone to tell him how they felt about Emily's return. Even in 7x02, Hotch tells Reid if he is angry, Hotch is willing to take the blame for it and that he shouldn't be angry at JJ, in which Reid bitterly responds: "I can't. I didn't come crying to your house for 10 weeks." Hotch was guilty for hiding it from the team as well, and people have aimed their anger towards JJ because she "hurt Reid's feelings". It also didn't sit right with me when Reid implied that he was going to blame JJ for his hypothetical relapsing (that may be poor writing but it still doesn't sound right).

JJ was dealing with something traumatic to her, and so she deserved to feel frustrated, angry, etc. because it is difficult to keep all those emotions, especially negative ones, shoved into a box. Even though one pushes their emotions down, there is going to be a breaking point and all of whatever they have been feeling is going to burst out of the bottle sooner or later. That's the case with JJ. She wasn't mad that Reid was checking on her, she was only mad that it was at the wrong time. If it was at a time that was decent for them (aka when it's in a quiet place like at the end of 10x11), then JJ wouldn't mind as much. Over time, JJ has worked to push her emotions away because of everything that's happened to her. It becomes both better and worse for her coping. Better because she is able to get a task done fast. Worse because she isn't confronting her feelings, which is unhealthy. At the end of 10x11, JJ has thanked Reid for helping her and didn't seem too angry at him anymore, and in a way, has apologized. She felt somewhat relieved that she finally told someone about what she was going through (even though her trauma was still not entirely resolved, in my opinion).

I think you've made some interesting points using examples of other scenes that have characters snapping at someone else for getting them to open up about something troubling them. Derek and Emily have snapped at Garcia, who was checking up on them during a time of distress. Both of them know she meant no harm as well and they were both frustrated and stressed in those two times. Garcia understood and was only concerned about them. Same with Reid confronting JJ about her trauma. Or even Emily with Reid when he was taking dilaudid. They all were worried about each other and wanted to be there to support their friends.

People have different ways of coping with trauma and shouldn't be judged for it. It is a step forward to help them deal with it, and hopefully, make them feel safe and comfortable to talk about it.

Under the cut is how I feel about the JJ hate, so if you want to read that, feel free to do so.

This is something I needed to get off my chest. I'm already getting tired of seeing the JJ hate on some posts, here and on other social media platforms. Oddly enough back then, there wasn't this much hatred towards her character. Aside from the confession in later seasons, JJ has gotten a lot of hate now that the show's over. I have noticed the common thread of the hate being connected to Reid's character (note: I really don't want to get into some sort of hate discourse thing so please don't come at me for this).

I have seen fans say that JJ's the mean girl of the team because she is "mean to Reid" or because "Reid said so". I disagree with this whole notion because everyone has treated Reid the same way JJ has, and JJ wasn't super mean to him. I've always seen them interact like siblings, so they had that older sis teases little bro vibes to me. They both cared for each other, as seen numerous times on the show (this does not mean I ship them). In the scene where Reid thought JJ was a mean girl, she was defensive because she was hurt that someone close to her would think that lowly of her. Reid didn't even know that JJ was offended by that statement, so he just carried on with it.

People have also said that JJ is "too bland" or "too boring" of a character. I like to dig into little details of the show and/or the characters themselves, and learn why they are the way they are. People don't often see why JJ is the way she is like they do with other characters. To say that JJ's only trait is "being a mom" or "being too sensitive" is stupid. I agree that JJ's character was done dirty by the writers and producers, though. With everything that has happened to her, it explains why she is the person she is on the show. When JJ was younger, she didn't have any role model growing up besides Roslyn. She came from a broken family, who was often emotionally and physically distant from everything and everyone. Because of that, it shaped JJ into the person she is today. This is one of the reasons why she hates talking about her feelings and opening up because as her mom said, "Avoidance is what this family does best, anyhow." Her whole life, JJ pushes herself to work hard that she's never learned how to give herself a break, especially when her mental health is going bad. She needs someone to rely on and that she can trust to vent about anything she's having a hard time with.

Another thing people have to remember is that Reid and JJ are two completely different personalities and their own characters, so comparing them with each other or even pitting them against each other isn't going to make things better for many, and people will continue to fight about this.

Admittedly, this is one of the reasons why I don't join fandoms often because people are there to enjoy and share their interests with one another. I am aware that I have stated my opinions from time to time, but to waste all that energy continuously hating on something others like, is tiring. I like when people post things they like, instead of posting their absolute hatred on something that others enjoy often. I usually don’t interact with posts that have hate on something I like that I've seen and I try to filter that out. (I’m sorry if my wording doesn’t make sense here)

#jennifer jareau #spencer reid #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #i'm sorry this was a long post anon hahaha #alyssa's asks

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Season 2- Victor and MC- Chapter 4 & 5 (Eng Translation)- Part 3

⌚Warning:⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a chapter that is yet to release in the global server. Don't continue under the cut if you don't wish to be spoiled!(◍•ᴗ•◍)

✧✧ PART 1 || PART 2

-

✧ [CH 4-12] ✧

At BS office: With the help of her subordinates, MC is working on gathering information on Lu Kang, and the mysterious man in black. But the tracker she left on him lost its signal after some time, so the investigation has reached an dead-end for now.

It's also the day Victor will be released from the hospital. So, MC goes to pick him up.

He has changed out of his hospital gown, and returned to his suit and leather shoes.

I sigh inwardly, though Victor has always been very busy, but recently he seems to have become even busier.

MC: You've just been discharged from hospital, don't you want to go home and rest?

Victor: It's not like I was really hospitalized. Besides, I remember that you still have something to report to me.

MC: Now I understand that being a CEO is really not easy.

Victor: If you really want to be considerate of others, improve the quality of your work.

I tilt my face up, and pat my bag while looking at him.

MC: So where does CEO Victor want to test the quality of my work?

Victor: Go to LFG.

-

MC notes that Victor gets in his work mode™ as soon as he enters LFG LOL

MC reports Victor about her findings that Lu Kang once lost a lawsuit against LFG and seemed to hold LFG responsible for the bankruptcy.

Victor explains that the deal with Lu Kang's company didn't proceed because they were found secretly making false accounts and such doings will eventually lead to plummeting. LFG never did or neither do they need to persecute anyone for business competition, and it'll bring more trouble than benefits anyway.

I scrutinize the sharp air exuding from his eyebrows, and can't help but mutter under my breath.

MC: Victor, you've always been so decisive and swift in action. Haven't you made more or less some enemies?

[Note: MC uses the idiom "雷厉风行" which literally translates to- passing like thunder and moving like wind.]

Victor: When there are interests involved, even if you do nothing, there will be enemies. The rules of the game are inherently cruel, and to have people who want to put some tricks to use, is quite ordinary.

MC gives Victor another report which she compiled based on Lu Kang's memory.

MC points out- the lawsuit incident was a while ago and it shouldn't be the reason he attacked Victor. She assumes-- it has something to do with the "game" that was mentioned in his memory many times. Lu Kang and the young man who partnered in the game probably tried to escape halfway, and they were killed because of the "no escapee rule."

Victor takes MC's reasoning under consideration, and specifically points out that all the victims of the murders are Evolvers. MC expresses her assumption that it could be because the authority of the game has some hidden agenda.

We glance at each other, and once again each sink into reflecting on the matter.

After a while, Victor picks up the last page of the report, and flips through it.

Victor: The trail for that killer is broken?

MC: Yes, should be. We suspect that he threw away the tracker.

Victor looks at the contents of the report repeatedly, then presses it on the table, and taps his fingertips on the last spot tracked by the tracker.

Victor: This place, you've only checked the public webpage. So the trail is not completely broken yet. Let them use the internal channels to investigate again. Don't waste the first-level authority I gave you.

Victor raises his eyes and looks at me, then puts the report back in my hand.

MC: Do I need to investigate that game altogether?

Victor: No need. I will send someone specialized to investigate. Remember, everything you just said is only a conjecture.

Victor: Without my permission, do not voluntarily investigate in private.

MC: Yes, BOSS.

The worries that have been clogging up in my chest for days, finally dissipates in several degrees. Even if I sympathized with Lu Kang, this action to get back at someone is never the right thing to do.

MC: Fortunately, this car accident is not related to the Evolver assassination. Just as I said, who would be so courageous, that he dares to pick a fight with CEO Victor?

Victor: The "bodyguard" is finally relieved?

MC: Relieved!

Victor: Go back when you feel relieved. Start concentrating on your task next week.

I grab the report, preparing to leave, just then Victor calls me again. I look back, and see that he seems to have sent a message to someone.

He halts for a moment, then stands up with one hand propped on the tabletop, his deep gaze falling on my face.

Victor: Thank you for these few days.

I stare blankly at him for a while, and quickly perk up with an even bigger smile.

MC: No need to be polite, Mr. Victor. Just let me book a free pudding from Souvenir!

I turn around at Victor's momentary expression of helplessness, running out of the office like a wisp of smoke.

Ever since confirming his safety, I feel that every time we see each other, it all becomes much more relaxed.

Behind the current life, there are still bubbling up unsettling factors in motion.

But precisely because things being as such, is what makes me want to cherish the rare tranquility all the more.

-

✧ [4-13] ✧

Just a moment after walking out of the LFG building, I suddenly remember that I've forgotten one thing, and rush back to the lobby.

After talking to the administrative staff at the front desk, I dial Victor's number.

Victor: Hello?

MC: Victor, I forgot one thing just now. To congratulate you on your 'discharge', I've prepared a small gift for you. The staff will deliver it for me later.

Victor: ....I've said I wasn't really hospitalized. What are you up to again?

MC: Just treat it as a blessing. You must accept it! That's all.

Victor: Hold on.

MC: Is there anything else?

Victor: Help me think of a name.

MC: What kind of name? A kitten, a puppy or a relative's child?

Victor: ....Common name, male.

MC: Why are you asking this all of a sudden?

Victor: Because your imagination is comperatively rich.

What kind of answer is this...

I complain inwardly, but still give it a serious thought.

MC: Let me think. How about this one!

(Players get to choose a name from the three options)

Victor: What kind of strange name is that...

Victor's helpless sigh comes from the other end of the phone.

Victor: Never mind. I shouldn't have had any expectations. I'll accept your gift. That's all.

After hanging up the call, I'm still a little baffled by the request.

He abruptly asked me to help think of a name, and also a male's name. Could it be that he is going to use it himself?

Could it be that there is something that requires a disguised identity?

But does he even need to disguise.... aren't the six letters "Victor" the best pass in itself.

Anyway, the name I gave him off the top of my head, he definitely won't use it.

I shake my head, my train of thoughts returning to the gift I've left behind just a moment ago, and can't help but look forward to it.

I wonder when the Victor of now receives this gift, what will the expression on his face be like?

-

✧[POV back to Victor's office]✧

Closing the last document, Victor leans into his chair, gently pinching his brows.

Opening his eyes, the pink-colored gift box on the corner of the table enters his line of sight again. The lofty color seems to be urging him to open it as soon as possible.

Victor unwraps the box, and inside lies a round Shiba Inu doll, appearing a little old.

He wrinkles his eyebrows, takes it out, and sees a small folded note also being pressed onto the bottom of the box.

He patiently unfolds the note again, the carefully and neatly written calligraphy greets his eyes.

Victor: (reading the note) "Congratulations on your 'recovery,' and here's a small gift for you. This is the doll that has accompanied me for many years. I wish you well and hope you're happy." - MC

Victor: ....Childish.

Victor subconsciously says a word, and falls silent again.

Unknowingly why, but he always feels that he's somewhat familiar with this scene, but he also can't amalgamate the impression any further.

Even just the silly Shiba-Inu doll on the table, brings him a trace of intimacy.

[Note: This is the same Shiba-Inu doll MC's dad gifted her as a kid, and she gave it to Victor in S1 "Rooftop Date," when she wanted to comfort him realizing how much he misses his departed mom.]

It seems as if, ever since meeting her and getting acquainted with each other, this strange feeling often arises.

Is it because she has an Evol associated with memories?

But again, Victor is also very clear that her Evol doesn't have effect on himself.

Or is that, it's simply owing to her?

Victor blankly stares at the doll for a while, and by the time he circles back to his senses, it's already somewhat late.

He pulls open a locked drawer next to his desk, puts the doll inside, and catches a glimpse of the document marked with a sharp " S " symbol underneath.

"Illegal psychoactive drugs", " CORE", "has the potential to stimulate Evol"...

Several eye-catching keywords are marked in red, even in the twilight, which are still clearly identifiable.

The information the girl has reported to him once again surfaces in Victor's mind.

She has organized it very meticulously, but after reading it all thoroughly, the dense fog before his eyes hasn't dispersed.

Those layers of crisscrossing threads seems to have already involved all the parties, standing in different positions, making the situation chaotic.

And all these disputes still ultimately point to the same source--

BLACK SWAN CORE.

When it's all said and done, is this situation because everyone is eager to obtain it, or is there an unknown force hiding in the depository, pulling the strings?

There are still numerous issues that needs to be resolved, and one can not always watch the fire burning across the river.

Victor locks the drawer, and glances at the clock on the wall.

The phone rings at the right time, it's an encrypted email from BS.

Mail: "BOSS, as per your requirements, the relevant information has been sent to the other party."

Victor simply knocks down a reply, gets up and puts on his jacket, preparing to leave.

A pile of events is connected into a ring, and each angler, too, is bait for another.

He is looking forward to what kind of prey can be hooked this time.

-

✧ [CH 4-15] ✧

Victor meets Lucien at the research center, who hands him the report of a research.

Victor says the results are clear but Lucien says they only confirmed their guesses, and that CORE has been the focus of everyone after Evol was publicized, but there are perhaps other things affecting the world. Lucien asks if Victor feels that the world is not quite right and that every civilization circulates within a box, the time they have is likely more limited than expected.

Victor says it depends on how an individual views the matter, there's no need to pre-determine an outcome.

Lucien asks Victor if he believes he'll be able to get out of the box. Victor replies, "Not believe, it's a must."

After Victor gets in the car, he receives an email: "Dear Mr. [the name MC chose for him earlier], thank you for your support towards Hunter Games."

The rest of the email is basically explaining the rules of the game.‶

-

✧ [Victor scene in CH 5] ✧

Victor is returning from a business trip. After giving Goldman some instructions, he glances out of the window of the helicopter. Even though everything is peaceful, to him something always seems amiss.

He receives an email containing only one word, "Advanced." His expression doesn't change much since he already expected this outcome. The mail disappears, and he taps on another anonymous email with the instructions- He'll be entering the betting venue in 15 minutes and he should get prepared.

When the helicopter is about to land on the LFG rooftop, he glances out of the window once again and observes the people of the city living their day to day peaceful lives.

The noise-reduction headset cuts out the sound of the outside world, but the mere information sent back to him by his vision, is sufficient to prove the tranquility of the world before his eyes.

The helicopter lands. He settles some works with the staff.

Victor raises his hand to look at his watch, the gray clouds being reflected on the dial, slightly blurs the trajectory of the clock hands.

In a split second, along with lowering his arm, an inconspicuous red light suddenly streaks across the dial.

There's still ten minutes to enter the "betting venue".

The staff turns around, walking towards the elevator, cold wind blows on Victor's face, fluttering the hem of his coat.

Somewhere directly opposite, a small cross hair has always been aiming at the position of his heart.

??: "Code L" elimination plan in progress, target locked.

A second before the trigger is squeezed tightly, the person behind the lens suddenly lifts up, raises his head, looking straight into the set of deep eyes in the distance.

The clamors of the city conceals much of the noise, the discharge of bullet muffles in the silencer, so much so that in this shattering rain, it doesn't even make a crisp sound of snapping a branch.

A dispute between the light and the dark, seemingly has arrived to its conclusion.

[Trivia: The call that comes with the Chapter karma card-- is actually Victor nagging with MC on her report over phone inside the helicopter-- before it lands on the LFG rooftop!]

#I'm just a girl with lots of feelings that's all T^T #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #li zeyan #love and producer #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mr love victor #mldd victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc lucien #mlqc translations #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mr love queens choice #mlqc season 2 #mlqc s2

[leahseclipse]

It’s always colder on your own

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Angst/ comfort

Warnings: SPOILERS OF S2 EP15-18, mentions of addiction, murder, kidnapping, rape (just in a sentence), drugs, traumatic experience, usual cm stuff

Summary: Old memories haunt the BAU's genius when a case involving addiction is handled by the team.

Requested by @imagining-in-the-margins​ ; based on this request:

Hurt/Comfort where there is a case involving addiction and the following happens: 

Reader: Are you alright? 

Spencer: Hm? Oh. Yeah, I-I'm fine. 

Reader: Okay. 

Reader: You know it's okay if you're not, right? 

Spencer: What? 

Reader: It's okay if you're not okay.

A/N: Its aaaaaaa I'm writing another request for imagining-in-the-margins— that's wowie- 

Oh and btw, for the mentions of the verse of the bible; I did some research about it based on the ones that Spencer recited, so I'm sorry if I accidentally made some mistakes, I unfortunately don't know much about it ^^

A/N (2); At some point of the story, when you’ll see text then [...] and text again, the “[...]” is the parts Spencer haven’t been listening to, he was distracted.

I hope you will like it, i tried lmaoo

Word count: 4.8k

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It's just a little bit lonely in this home, it's always colder on your own, my darling I, I let the seasons change my mind. — Ricky Montgomery, This December

__________________

Spencer hasn’t felt that way for a long time, for way too long. 

That feeling seemed weird, but strangely familiar.

Although it had been a while since it had happened, he never really forgot about it; it stayed; buried deep inside his thoughts. 

He didn’t think that he’d have to deal with it again; well, he’s only dealing with his own problems, because it wasn’t about him this time; it was about the case, specifically, about the unsub.

Spencer had never thought the case would have turned out to be that way; it didn’t seem like it at all at first, he would have qualified it as normal- as the cases they had worked on before this one didn’t affect him personally in general- ,but none of the case the bureau works on are normal, you truly have to be mentally prepared for it because it never is normal, there always is a deeper meaning, and when the reason is discovered, it isn’t really pleasant most of the time, to the point everyone in the room had wished not to see it, but it isn’t very surprising anymore when you’ve been working there for more than ten years, you get used to it, eventually.

He wished that he could have said that he had moved on, but it never was the case, he didn’t forget these days, when he had thought that he wouldn’t make it out alive; and he almost didn’t. He had died there, probably for less than ten minutes as he didn’t suffer permanent brain damage from the lack of oxygen; but what had probably caused it was the dilaudid.

It had been injected into his veins, multiple times without his consent, for the only reason that it would make him feel better- which did not, considering what he had to go through after it happened.

He still regrets what he did after the incident; he snapped at Emily; thought of using dilaudid again: he clearly wasn’t himself, he didn’t even recognize himself whenever he was in front of a mirror.

Addiction stuff never goes away, and even though he didn’t forget, he didn’t think much about it daily, just when the subject would come up, or if he’d see or hear something that would remind him of it, but never the  thought of the matter had been that important until now. It never triggered him a lot when he thought of it, not until a case bringing it up was taken in by the team.

It had been exactly five days, four hours, and nine minutes since they had begun working on it, but if he’d be counting the time he had been working on it, it’d be less than that. He hasn’t been focusing well since the discovery of the addiction concerning the unsub had been brought up.

Why is it impacting me like that? It had never been that way before, so why did it stay since? I never brought much attention to it to the point of thinking of it non-stop. I always managed to distract myself, try to control my emotions, so why didn’t it work today? 

The only person who could- almost - make it go somehow go away was y/n. He’d look at her, and he’d be able to escape these thoughts for a moment as the only thing he thought about was her. 

Spencer could describe her as his guardian angel, he can't lie about it, she saved him.

He doesn't know what he'd be doing if she wasn't here; and now that he thinks about what happened with Hankel, he can't imagine that if he hadn't made it out alive, he wouldn't have met her, she wouldn't have met him; and the only way she could have known him was through memories, and pictures. 

Spencer would have been nothing but a frozen memory.

It sends chills to his spine whenever he thinks about it, the fact that he would have died at 25. 

He can’t keep thinking about it, as it isn’t good to remain in the past; but now he’s just stuck in them, he can’t really describe what he’s feeling, but he can definitely say that it's clearly not doing any good to his mental health; it’s ruining him.

But clearly he doesn't want to tell the others and add more problems on top of the ones they already have with the case, and eventually in their lives.

Spencer doesn’t want to feel like a burden to the others, it’s been more than 10 years since it happened and to him, he’s supposed to have left some of the tension that was crushing him, it had been supposed to at least go away, a bit, to the point it didn’t ruin his health; he doesn’t know if he should talk about it, or if he even wants to.

He knows that they’ll understand, he knows that they never judged him, and will never do it; but what if they don’t understand? He doesn’t even know why it appeared now, he doesn’t know what triggered him that much to the point of being in this state of mind. He always figures out everything, and now he can’t even solve his own problems.

Everyone says that no one knows you better than you do, but I guess that this time the ‘theory’ hasn’t proven itself to be true apparently.

Something refrains him from talking; but he doesn’t know why.

If he talks about it with y/n, it may or may not solve it, but it could release some pressure, perhaps. It’s not confirmed, but it could.

Now that he thought about it, were the thoughts that distractive to the point that he may have forgotten why he felt like that in the first place?

He remembers that stress can affect how memories are formed. When stressed, people have a more difficult time creating short-term memories and turning those short-term memories into long-term memories, meaning that it is more difficult to learn when stressed.

It could have been that, but how? He doesn’t forget stuff. 

He never does.

But, now that he thinks about it, is he looking at a reason when it is only right in front of his eyes? When it could only be his brain that reacted when the subject came up?

Spencer always figures out stuff, even what’s going on in his own mind; 

So why does he feel like he can’t do anything? 

Anything but watch himself sink down.

Is he trying to avoid it, doesn’t he want to solve it, or is he too afraid to face the truth?

Well, a part of him doesn't want to admit it, he could say that.

He doesn't want to face it, he doesn’t want to plunge the knife deeper than it already is. He doesn’t know, or can’t talk about it because he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to explain , make the person he’s talking to understand his feelings, or even manage to get the courage to talk about it, to not get stuck in a middle of sentence because he suddenly freaks out, or doesn’t know what to tell anymore.

He hoped that it’ll get better. 

It could;

Or it couldn’t.

He’ll try to think about it later. It already was late enough, he wouldn’t get much sleep, so he’d better go now.

Spencer made his way to the entrance of the hotel room he shared with y/n, wondering if she still was awake; as she liked to go over the cases sometimes before going to sleep; but she wasn’t this time, she was laying on her side, the white blanket on top of her legs.

He made his way in the room, carefully closing the door not to wake her up; as she must have been drained of all the energy after the long day they’ve had;

He understands her, it really is exhausting, especially when the case goes nowhere. They didn’t manage to get much today, except...the addiction stuff.

Spencer would have normally felt relieved to have found a lead, even the smallest, but that lead wasn’t the one he would have wanted to find. He did want to find something else, but they weren’t appropriate thoughts, you can’t wish to find out he was a rapist or a murderer either.

Either it’s addiction, murder, kidnapping or rape stuff, neither is acceptable to wish for it to happen instead of what happened.

Neither.

He wishes he could erase it from his mind, at least, not remember it fully; but with that eidetic memory of his, that isn’t possible.

His eidetic memory is a blessing and a curse at the same time.

The curse part of it isn’t the best, it even describes itself by the definition of curse.

It always makes you remember the memories you certainly don't want to think about; and for Spencer, it’s literally his whole life, so he does want to not have it anymore most of the time because of that.

Unfortunately, that isn’t possible either.

If only it could, that’d allow him to rest better, especially now.

He made his way to the bed to the side next to the window; y/n had remembered that Spencer preferred to be on the side of the window. 

Gosh, he loves her for that.

It’s a small detail, but still, he appreciated it that she thought of it.

Thinking about her, he wonders if she did notice or not; because even though they don’t profile each other, y/n always tries to make sure he’s okay without pressuring him. 

So, if she did notice that time, she may not be talking about it because she possibly wasn’t sure whether he would react well or not; she knows that it’s a sensitive subject, and she didn’t want to trigger him or be in bad terms, but only if she knew that he wouldn’t ever do that.

He couldn’t yell at her, she’s the reason he’s here, the reason he stayed for. If he knew that five years after his arrival she’d enter the bureau, he would have fought every single day to survive and meet her, especially when he was with Hankel. He wouldn’t have given it up if it was for her.

He appreciated the team too, they were a second family to him; but he also would have liked to have the love of his life to fight for that day.

Spencer was relieved that she had arrived a year after it happened, he wouldn’t have wanted her to see him like that, he knew that she couldn’t have managed to think about anything, her mind would be fuzzy, she wouldn’t have managed to separate the right thoughts from the bad ones. He would have been relieved that it didn’t happen in front of her eyes, not the actual thing. 

He wouldn’t have preferred that to happen at all, considering the problems that it caused after it, and still from that day. He still thinks that it was his fault, even if the team made him know it wasn’t at all; but he shouldn’t have split up.

Both JJ and him could have died; JJ could have been badly hurt because of the dogs, if they attacked her, and spencer could have died there if Tobias or whatever it was, didn’t chose to try to resuscitate him; if he would have made him go in his own grave he had dig, or if he has shot before he managed to get his gun to shoot him in the chest.

He still remembers the look on his face.

Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, he probably wouldn’t have forgotten it. It terrified him.

He had shot him before hankel managed to, and he fell to the floor, as Spencer kneeled beside him, looking at his terrified and disturbed eyes.

“You killed him."

“Tobias?” He asked, as he noticed the brightness of the flashlights from his peripheral view; and heard the distant voices, probably calling his name. He didn’t pay much attention, from the state and mindset, and his mind being...well, trying to focus on the man in front of him.

“Do you think I’ll get to see my mom again?” he slightly raised his voice, looking at Spencer. 

“I’m sorry.” Spencer had admitted.

And that was the last words he had probably heard, before his eyes froze as life left his body; his chest rising a final time, as his last breath dissolved itself in the cold air.

It wasn’t until several people had gathered around the area, Hotch lowering himself to Reid’s level in order to pick him up.

A feeling of relief had washed itself over him, he hadn’t realised that his living nightmare had- now that he thought about it- somehow came to an end.

He didn’t think he’d do it once, but he had hugged hotch; as Hotch gave him a pat after he had wrapped his arms around his upper back.

He had understood what he had said when Hankel had asked him who he’d chose to kill, after he had chose Hotch,

"He’s a classic narcissist; he thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team.

Genesis 23:4; let him not deceive himself and trust in vanity, emptiness, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense.

When he had said this; he had messed up on purpose; his memory didn't fail him; he had recited the verse 'job 15:31', not genesis 23:4. He had hoped for them to understand the "mistake" he had done, hoping that one of them would know the real verse.

I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight “

Something had probably clicked in their minds, allowing them to discover the location Reid was at, or close to.

After that, he had gone to hug JJ, who had begun stepping towards him; before breaking the embrace as he reassured her that it wasn’t her fault after she had apologized.

That’s when he thinks that he messed up, what caused him to struggle even more. 

He had asked for a moment, to be alone; and shortly stepped towards Tobias’s cold, lifeless body, reaching out for his pocket to take the two dilaudid vials; shoving them in his pocket in a single move- possibly to not draw attention by taking his time if they were watching him-, before standing up, crossing his arms, each in the crook of the other.

He won’t lie to himself, the next days weren’t the best he had; the wound was fresh, so obviously he wasn’t in his right mind; he kept-

Spencer. 

Stop.

You’ve done enough damage to yourself.

He had put his hand on his forehead, before crashing on the bed, close to y/n to feel her warmth; hoping it could allow him to put his mind to rest.

Don’t think about it.

Just stop. It’ll be by constantly thinking about it that it’ll keep ruining you.

Spencer thought that it could- in a way- stop it, he didn’t really know what to do and think about at his point.

He closed his eyes, in an attempt to finish the rest of the night calmly.

-------

Spencer had woken up surprisingly early, way before the usual hour they'd go to work. 

The night wasn't awesome, but okay...ish.

He had taken a lot of time trying to get his thoughts away from his head, but when you're alone, the task isn't easy.

It's you, and your thoughts. 

Nothing else.

There wasn't anything to distract him as y/n was asleep; he wasn't going to wake her at 4am because he couldn't sleep, you certainly don't wake up someone for that.

He had woken up by exactly 5:45, not bothering to look at the window as he knew daylight wouldn't come at this time of the day, more around 7.

Obviously, he hadn't forgotten last night's subject, as much as he wished he could have.

But you know...eidetic memory stuff again.

As he looked as y/n lying next to him; Spencer had noticed that she hadn't apparently woken up yet; she was on her side, her face facing his. 

He had wondered if she managed to get a good night of sleep; she'd often get stressed because of the case, and as the case had contained something she knew concerned Spencer -in a way-, she must have been stressing about it.

She always put others before herself, if one of her friends wasn't feeling well, she'd abandon the activity she was up to, and focus on the person; no matter what, even if it meant staying for two hours to listen and help the one she was talking to.

She was amazingly caring.

Too caring to the point that Spencer would ask himself if he ever deserved her: he wouldn’t have thought that he’ll ever meet a person like that, acting so nicely with him, plus interested in a relationship, that is now going on for two years; that was...unimaginable. 

He liked being with her, a lot. She was a bit shorter than him, so he’d find it cute whenever she’d struggle reaching the top shelf; he didn’t know why he’d find it so cute: but it was like that. He’d go to help her, even if she wouldn’t ask, he’d do everything to make her happy, he’d never been in a relationship before her, so he didn’t really quite know what to do not to make her uncomfortable, not loved; he was so awkward and wouldn’t stop rambling or stuttering whenever he’d see y/n.  

But she never saw him this way. She saw him as a normal person, talked to him as she would to the rest of the team; and would often come to talk, even if she didn’t have a reason to. She apparently wanted to hear Spencer rambling about facts, or answer some of the questions she had; and it never bothered him, she could have come for anything, even if it was just to say hello or ask him to take a paper she had faxed. 

As long as he could see her, hear her voice, as long as she would be near him, it would be okay. 

He had hoped for a while to be more than just friends, but the introverted side he had made him keep his feelings stuck inside, with no possibility to let them go out as he didn’t even have the courage to. That decision would have been something he would have regretted for a while if Ihedidn’t choose to say it that day at the bureau.

Well, It all was in the moment, it wasn’t intentional, not at all, it slipped out, and he regretted it at first, as his first thought was her rejection due to her non-shared feelings towards him. 

“Hey Reid, you ready today? We don’t have any case for now, but we still have the paperwork from last day.”

“Oh- you’re talking to me? Sorry I- I thought of something. Could you repeat?”

“You? Distracted ? That isn’t surprising.”

“It’s rare, i’m paying attention most of the time.”

“Well you didn’t this time genius. Do you have a reason to defend yourself?” She said, in a playful tone.

“You.”

“...what?”

“I- I just, uh...it’s been a while since I wanted to tell uh…”

“...wanted to tell what?”

“That I- appreciate you; but not only in a…friendly way, it’s more than that. If you...get it. I...god, I’m probably making you feel uncomfortable right now.”

“Wait, you’re serious about this?”

“I’ve never been more serious than now.” Spencer said, not even stuttering, proving how serious he was in this moment.

“Then I feel the same, if that can answer your questions,.”

And that is how they began dating; with only eleven words; she had relieved him. He had been washed of all of his fears, now replaced with comforting thoughts. 

He had never forgotten this sentence. If he didn't have an eidetic memory, he would have immediately grabbed a post-it not to forget it.

The tiniest things that had set their relationship had been the biggest ones that he cherishes the most.

Spencer likes her so much that he's always afraid to lose her whenever they're on a case; he always has to go with her.. Although she always was with the others, he couldn't let anything happen to her without being able to be here to protect her.

She doesn't want her to see him getting hurt either; even though she insists to be with him; it's funny; the fact that they want to protect each other all the time.

But now, he did want to protect her, he didn't want her to worry about problems she has yet to worry about. 

We have enough problems.

I don't need to add more.

It won't do any good.

I'll solve it on my own.

Spencer crossed the door; as a group of officers and the team standing in the middle were. Hotch was walking through the room enunciating the profile of the unsub they were looking for, after managing to have enough information to form one.

Each word, each characteristic, would, or not, lead to the matter that had filled him for a week; he had tried for multiple times not to let the case reach him, it rarely did, and in that case, as it was mentioning a sensible matter, it wasn’t the most pleasant week at work, not really the kind of week he had imagine he’d had; especially not a one including a heavy mention of addiction with drugs that the victims had, and possibly the unsub as he knew specific types, and how to dose them enough to give a fatal dose. He either used them personally, or simply had knowledge of them: this fact couldn’t be confirmed yet.

“The unsub we’re looking for is most possibly a white male in his 30-40s, he [...] a stable situation, based on the frequency of the attacks, most of them being within working hours, and for a [...], killing people that don’t correspond to the type of victims he does his usual m.o; he’s perturbed, he knows people [...] ease in public, and probably may feel easily threatened and perturbed if someone [...], subjects that may trigger traumatism, causing him to become dangerous, and harm fatally other people if not controlled-”

Spencer hadn’t even listened to half of what he had just said, what he had been thinking about was taking more place in his mind than any other case would whenever he’d work to analyze it.

He had let himself get distracted, not daring to pay attention to his surroundings, to the point he hadn’t even seen y/n standing next to him, a worried expression plastered on her face. 

Is it that obvious?

Is it obvious to the point she could notice it without profiling me? Or has she…?

“Spence, I think that we should head out for a moment.” She quietly said, grabbing the sleeve of his cardigan. “You don’t look okay. Are you alright?”

Am I?

“Uh...yeah, I-I’m doing fine, just a bit tired.”

“Everyone is, but I can clearly see it isn’t the same type.” She tightened her grip on his sleeve, pulling him out of the room.

After she had managed to find an empty room, y/n had opened it, pulling Spencer inside as she closed the door, before closing the blinds that could allow someone from the exterior to see the room. She had noticed the lock on the door, not hesitating to pull it towards the right to lock the room. 

She looked at him, eyes tearing up. She placed a word before he had even gotten to.

“Spence, you know that...it’s okay if you’re...not okay, right?” She asked, hesitant.

“What...what do you mean?”

“You can tell me, it’s okay if you’re not okay. There is, no shame, to not be.” She said, as she sat on the seat next to her, Spencer following her action a second later. “..since when is it bothering you?” She placed a hand on his, rubbing circles with her thumb.

“When we...found out about the addiction matter, not long after we began working on the case. I don’t know why I stayed stuck on this.”

“Why didn’t you talk about it? If you had preferred to talk to someone else, I wouldn’t have been mad if you had gone to JJ, I know you guys have always been close.”

“I just thought that...I would bother everyone by adding my problems on top of the ones we already have. And I...didn’t know how to explain it.”

“And you didn’t want me to worry, right?” She asked, as he nodded. “I know that I worry about anything, but if it was about that, you know that I would have listened, and did my best to help, even though I wasn’t here when it had occurred. But I want you to know that I’m not mad about the fact you didn’t talk about it; I understand you.”

“I know you do. But, I was afraid you wouldn’t get it, or overstress because of it, because god knows that you stress about the tiniest thing,” He joked, earning a small chuckle from y/n. “But I just...kept thinking about it. The more I’d tell myself to stop thinking about it, the more it’d stay. I didn’t tell you everything about it, you just know about the livestream, and what the team had seen; and I...you know the next part, I had a problem with dilaudid; I had attempted to drug myself again, in the bathroom of an office, not long after. If Hotch hadn’t called me, I think that I would have done it.” 

“But you didn’t, you managed to get the strength to stop. And you still have it now. We’re also here to give you the strength you need, support, whatever includes helping you. We’ve always been here, it won’t ever change. And even if we have a case, we’ll find a minute to talk with you. You never, but never, bothered us.”

“You sure…?”

“Absolutely. So here’s what we’re gonna do, we’re going to go back to the room; and go through the case. I would have wished that I could tell you to completely stop working, but we have to catch him before he does more damage. But after it’s done, we’ll get back home; talk about it, stay together, whatever could make you feel better. Because it’s okay to ask for help when you really think you need it, there’s no shame. I know that it’s complicated for you to talk about your problems in general, but if you feel like you need to talk to someone, we’ll be there, all of us.”

“Yeah, I know. But, I feel like how I felt a few days after it happened, when I was in the room with him, every single word, what he did to me, and...when I shot him. I still can’t erase the look he had on his face; I just…” He inhaled, wiping a stray tear from his eye. He wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, but when he was with y/n, it didn’t matter. “I...still think that I shouldn’t have split up with JJ, she could have gotten killed by these dogs if she didn’t have ammo. I still think that it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not Spencer. I know you still feel guilty, she felt guilty as well too when you got abducted; and even though I know you can’t erase what happened, everything is over, both of you are safe. I’m not a good talker, I know, but, to resume, I’m gonna help you with what you’re going through, you’re not alone. You’ll even take a week off if you need one, your health comes first; okay?” 

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Do you think you can go back, or do you need to go outside for a bit?”

“No, It’s ok, I can go back.”

“Okay, let’s go then.” She said, as she took his hand, their fingers interlocking: as Spencer felt the warmth of her hand against his skin. 

He liked feeling her warmth, it really was comforting, and would- somehow - chase the nightmares away, for a bit. 

He doesn’t believe that the pain will go away, his addiction problem never went away, even though he didn’t use any drugs anymore.

It won’t ever go fully, it’ll always stay, deep inside. 

But hopefully, her presence can possibly make it go away, make him forget, at least for while, 

So it won’t always be colder on his own.

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Tags: @writing-in-april​ ; 

#criminal minds s2 ep15 #criminal minds #criminal minds cbs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencersblog