#he literally saw his parents die. he saw them be burned to death
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COD boys + Farah and Valeria
Summary: you call them after a fight with your parents/relatives and they pick you up and see you with injuries that weren't there when they dropped you off
I literally forgot like five people-
Characters used: Ghost, Soap, Price, Gaz, Sebastian Krueger, Nikto, Alex, Farah, Valeria, Konig, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Nikolai, Grinch, Sandman, Laswell, Graves, Makarov, Frost, Horangi, Keegan
CW: Bruises, slap marks, cigarette burns, implied sprained/broken limbs, just abuse of reader all over tbh ;-;, no Y/N is safe from me tbh, they all gotta be messed up in one way or another-
Simon "Ghost" Riley
He noticed the shake in your voice IMMEDIATELY when you called
He's observant y'all
He 100% was concerned off the bat, he's a good boyfriend but a better killer
He pulled up to you sitting on the tire on top of the driveway and went to call you on your phone only to notice you halfway down the driveway before he could dig his phone out of his pocket
He was also keenly aware of your hair being down, something you rarely did
His automatic instinct was to brush it out of your face, so he did
He noticed how you shrinked away
Then he noticed the ugly bruise forming around your eye and on the side of your face.
"Luv? What happened?"
His voice was angry, but not at you.
Never at you.
You gave a little shrug and tucked into yourself
"Can we just... leave..?"
He couldn't remember the last time you sounded this small, so he did what you asked.
He kept his hand on your leg, rubbing little circles on your skin as he drove, but not home you noticed.
He kept glancing at you from the side of his eye and smiled as he saw your eyes light up as he pulled into the parkway of your favorite food place.
He was still angry as he watched you drink the milkshake you ordered, but was a bit more calm as you played with the kids menu
Something you did whenever you were anxious, so he asked the waitress for one who looked concerned for you and he gave her a little look that made her heart shatter as you started to anxiously babble to fill the sudden silence.
So he reached over and grabbed you're hand
Darling, you're fine, you're not going back there. I promise."
Johnny "Soap" Mactavish
He was already on his way ass soon as your caller ID (which was something like "Tatertot" or some weird Soap shit) popped up on his work phone
He answered as he drove.
"Johnny..? Can you come get me..? I-I got into a fight and need to be picked up at my parents..."
He heard your voice break and someone yell something in the background making your voice waver as you stepped outside
He was there in twenty minutes...
out of an hour drive
You didn't really hesitate as you rushed down the driveway and into his passenger seat and slammed the door.
You watched the wildlife speed by, zoning out, when he asked
"Yer dad give you those?"
You were confused at first before pulling your sleeves down farther and stayed quiet
Which was all he needed to get mad and grip the steering wheel
You knew you were safe, but his anger scared you
So your breathing picked up and he gently put his hand on your arm.
"Yer okay Bonnie, I'm not gonna hurt you. Him? Absolutely. You? Never."
John Price
Dad instincts when you called him
He hadn't really heard your voice like that since you thought you were going to die on the field
He picked up your favorite foods and a new blanket, hoodie, and stuffie
He walked up to the house door and stood like a harbringer of death as you answered the door.
He delicately pulled you out and tucked you behind him
He had that look in his eyes he only had when he was livid
You gently touched his arm and he got you to his car, lingering beside you as he gently kissed your head.
"I got ya sweetheart, just stay in the truck..."
He said as he buckled you up and tucked the blanket around you with your snacks and drinks before going back into the house
You heard yelling, which made you flinch, then silence
John came back out and calmly got in the truck and kissed your hand before giving it a gentle squeeze
"We'll be back for your stuff tomorrow hun, you're staying with me now"
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Rage
Just pure rage
Your caller ID popped up and he KNEW something was wrong
You don't call him
Not on the actual phone, always over Instagram on a burner account or Facebook or something
He left the room and answered your call
Soap had come to check on him and was concerned at the gleam in Kyle's eyes
Gaz didn't speak, he just left, and picked you up
He had your favorite music playing and a few snacks that he picked up at the corner store and just walked in
He didn't knock
He didn't announce his presence
Just walked in and scooped you up in his arms and left
You didn't ever go back
When your stuff went to be retrieved
Kyle did it
Along with Soap and Ghost who were really just there to keep Gaz from flipping his shit
I see him as a very protective boyfriend
Sebastian Krueger
Just a brooding asshole as he stood in the doorway
He had gotten your call and sped to get there
He didn't speak he just stood there as you got your stuff
The red marks on your face and the bruises forming on your arms made him angry
Everytime you left the house to but your books in his car, he rested his hand on his side weapon
Which he may or may not of forgotten he had on him until a family member pointed it out
Protective as fuck
Nikto
(i literally could find any for him 😭😭)
He was halfway there anyways
He just sped up and made a pitstop to grab some stuff you liked before picking you up
You gave him a sad little smile as you climbed in
You didn't buckle and just laid the seat back
Something you've only down a few times before curling into yourself
He gently ran his fingers through your hair as he drove off
He knew the area well, he grew up there
So he took you to a vacant field and flipped the center console of his truck up and slid over
He pulled you close and kissed your head as he rocked you slightly
His uniform uncomfortably rubbed against your skin as you gripped it tightly fighting against the tears that wanted to fall
"You can cry sweetheart, you're safe now"
Then you broke
You ugly cried against him
All the while he held you close and let you cry
He wasn't even mad right now
He was hurt
Hurt that someone that he swore was a divine being that couldn't be hurt
He buried his face in your hair once you cried yourself to sleep
"I'm sorry my sweetbaby, I'm sorry they hurt you... You didn't deserve that... I swear on whatever God is out there that I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again..."
Alex Keller
Kinda just showed up after your call
He stood there and kissed your head and pulled you close
He took you out for food, in his hoodie, and held you close as you ate
He kept pressing little kisses to your head and playing with your hair
He's a golden retriever so anything you asked for, you got that night
The two of you fell asleep on his couch, you curled up on his lap and him doing that dad sit with his arms around you
Farah Karim
No one fucks with her baby
She showed up with that angry lesbian look
She just has that look y'all
I dated a lesbian and can fully saw they have this when pissed I thought I was gonna die- and I didn't even do it- my bestfriend does it too and i get terrified cause i have ✨anxiety✨
Kinda just stood there glaring down whoever the fuck put hands on you as she tucked you into her side and rubbed your back
You hid your face with your hair until you got on her bike and a bit down the road
"She hit me Far..."
You whispered and the bike slowed to a stop, she got off her bike (Putting the kick stand down of course) and circled around
She gently removed her and your helmet and pressed a kiss to your head as she gently inspected the bruise that was turning a hideous color
She looked like she was going to cry, or she was unimaginably pissed but you weren't sure which one
"I'm so sorry sweetheart, you didn't deserve to be hit. My sweet dove..."
She whispered as she held your face in her hands and pressed her forhead against yours
10/10 girlfriend
Valeria Garza
Showed up in a black SUV
Like four henchmen behind her as she knocked on the front door, when it opened she forced herself in and looked for you
She found you at the kitchen table and bent down, she gave you a little smile and laced her fingers with yours
You didn't look her in the eyes, you kept your gaze as low as you possible could, making her sad.
"Cariño? Look at me, tell me what happened..?"
(Sweetheart)
Her voice was gentle and soft, but held an angry undertone as she hooked her finger under your chin and raised your head
Your busted lower lip told her everything as it quivered
"Are you mad..?"
Your voice was so quiet it sounded like a ghost
The broken words squeezed her heart as her hand moved up and held your face, her thumb rubbed your tear-stained skin
"Not at you, nunca a ti mi Amor..."
(never at you)
She whispered and kissed you softly, and carefully as to not hurt your lip any
"Oh great. You're here to take that little bastard. It's your issue now. Now you can listen to it cry and call you a bitch and controlling"
Your mother's voice rattled off the inside of your skull making you look away as a bag was tossed at your feet and you reached down to get it only for Valeria to pick it up before you could reach it.
There was a dangerous gleam in Valeria's eyes as she helped you from the chair and noticed how you stood funny, all your weight on one foot as you leaned against her.
She helped you towards the door and gave your mother one last nasty look before leaving, she got you in the backseat and sat with you. Digging through the medkit in the back of the car and delicately cleaned your split lip as she gazed at you with such soft eyes.
"Mi hermosa mariposa … te mereces algo mejor que esto..."
(My beautiful butterfly… you deserve better than this)
You didn't understand anything except "butterfly", she always called you that.
She always treated you so delicately and like you would break if she breathed to hard around you
At times like this, it made you glad for that school trip all those years ago. If you hadn't gone, you wouldn't have meet her and you wouldn't be safe.
You leaned into her, burying your face in her shoulder as your arms slowly went around her waist; holding her tight as your fingers gripped her vest. The material was uncomfortable, but you'd rather be uncomfortable than feel like you were a burden.
"Thank you," you whispered, "thank you Val..."
Konig
Was quiet about it when getting you out, he stood outside your home late that night
Catching your important things as you tossed them out the window
Then you when you jumped
He held you so delicately as your dog whimpered
You looked up at her as he carried you to his car, which was a bit down the road
Then he left
When he came back, your dog scrambled into the truck making you laugh and hug her tight as you cried
You gently pet her fur as you kissed her head and curled into Konig's seats
You were asleep by the time Konig got into the car
Your dog at your feet, her head in your lap, as he delicately put a blanket over you and softly pet your dogs head
"You did good protecting them girl, I'll take you to the vet as soon as possible..."
He spoke gently as he remembered how hysterical you when you called, not worried about yourself but instead your dog which had been kicked by your mother when your baby had jumped between the two of you and growled
He remembered how scared you were and how hard you cried as you screamed at your mother how that just wasn't right to do and that your dog was protecting you from her batshit insane ass
He remembered a loud slap, then the call ending
And now you were here, fast asleep in his car as he drove. His eyes floating over to your sleeping form every now and then when your dog whined.
the first thing he did, after getting you home, was take your dog to the vet to get her checked out
She was okay, just a bit bruised and had a tooth taken out
Konig took good care of her on the ride home, even ordered a pup cup (through the app, because he was to anxious to go through the drive through) from starbucks and sat in the parking lot holding the cup and feeding her dog treats.
He took good care of both of you the following morning and made sure you were patched up when he woke you up
He would've done it the night before, but he knew where your priorities were
Your dog and him.
It was always your dog and him, never yourself
Which was something he admired, but worried about you
Gary "Roach" Sanderson
He doesn't do anything confrontational
Just takes you and your cat in the middle of the night
Lets you know he's there and holds your hand while he drives
Keeps you on base with him
Makes you breakfast in the morning and keeps you distracted
Non-stop touch EX: puts in his hand on your back when you're walking, hand on your thigh while he drives, plays with your hair while cuddling, completely focused on you
Gets your stuff at a later date
Replaces certain things and loves you unconditionally
Alejadro Vargas
What's calm? Never met her
So many curse words
Literally broke so many road laws to get to you
Very angry
But very tender with you
Holds you behind him and holds your hand when you grab his
Very carefully drives with you in his car
Movie night after and kisses your head a lot
Bandages up the gash on your forehead
Every time he sees it though he gets angry and holds you tightly
When it scarred he felt guilt for not protecting you better
Still loves you so much though
Rodolfo Parra
Scarily calm
Stands there while you pack and follows you like a puppy
Notices your limp then kisses your head as he picks you up
"You're safe now, Me encargaré de todo, ¿vale?"
(I'll take care of everything, okay?)
Sweetest boyfriend 10/10
Made you coco and kissed your head as he bandaged the splits on your knuckles
Extremely gentle with you and was slightly paranoid he'd hurt you
Nikolai
Silently angry Russian
A very... terrifying person when angry
Just leaned against the counter as you shuffled your important stuff out of your house
He genuinely was concerned about you, but was extremely mad about you being hurt
"Sweetheart... are you okay..?"
He whispered when the two of you were in his car
"Yeah just a little beat up..."
You whispered back with a giggle on your lips as you held his hand gently
Hs amazed that you were still so... hapy
"Fucking sunshine..."
He grumbled and lovingly pushed you before driving off
Grinch
The Southern came out
Made no sense in his bitter, angry, southern words
Pressed you so tightly against his chest you thought you were gonna break
The situation esculated and he had you behind him as more southern threats came from him, some of them made you giggle. Which did calm him down slightly.
The two of you got ice cream after
You ate your ice cream as he bandages the gash on your arm and the burn on your upper arm
He never understood how you could be so... happy when you just went through something so traumatic...
But if you were happy, so was he
Which it was hard not to be when you kept smearing ice cream on his forehead and nose and laughing so hard you'd cry
Sandman
A MENACE
Literally ruined their lives, starting when he picked you up
He messed with the front steps when he went into get you, he carried you out and set you in his truck with a gentle kiss on the forehead
"I've got you sweet love, you're safe..."
He promised as he gave you a gentle kiss on the lips before buckling you up and he shut the car door
He held your hand as he drove but kept his jaw clenched so he wouldn't remark about the slap mark on your face
Was very grumpy until you gave him kisses
Which was often because you craved his comfort as much as he craved yours
Frost
Your called ID popped up
He has you saved as some weird shit like "Twinkle Toes" (if you know you know)
He didn't asnwer because he was in a meeting but your voice was so broken in the voice mail it made his heart ache
You were sitting outside when he pulled into your driveway
He noticed the cigarette burns on the back of your hands when he approached and felt his blood boil
He gently bent down and pushed hair from your face, making you lean into his hand
"Hey babydoll... Are you... okay..?"
You gave a little nod and flinched when his hand completely rested against the tender skin on your cheek
"I guess..." you whispered "I hurt everywhere..."
Your voice was so broke and weak it made his stomach sick to know that someone had broken you down this far he barely recognized his stubborn and strong lover who sat in front of him
"Come on baby, let's get you out of here..."
His voice was so gentle and tender you broke down crying against him before leaning against him as he lead you to his truck.
He gently scooped you up and set you in his car with the compression blanket he used for his legs after really rough mission
He was gentle where he laid and pressed a kiss to the crown of his head before hearing the screen door slam shut behind him.
He put his military grade headphones on you and called Sandy (sandman) to talk to you as he shut the door
He made sure the volume was up loud enough you couldn't hear the screaming outside the truck as he stood there listening to it all before reeling back and knocking the mother fucker to the ground
He got back in the truck to see you dozing off, he smiled sweetly and raised your hand gently and pressed a kiss above the burn marks
He drove carefully and made sure to avoid the potholes as he saw them and glanced at you every now and then to make sure you were still sleeping well
He slept in his driveway that night, he didn't want to move you or leave you alone
So he slept out there with you
He took out for breakfast the next day, through the driveway of course
Kate Laswell
Mmmmnnnnn angry
Just angry
But she was calm as she called the police and drove calmly to meet them
She only lost her shit when she saw your torn clothes and battered up state
Her touch was so gently as she pulled you into her arms and watched as your parents approached you
She felt the slap but didn't make any action towards it, you on the other hand reacted in an aggressive way
She had to lead you out, still very calm, and sit you in her car as you screamed and cried as she held you softly and rubbed your back and soothed you
"You're okay baby, you're safe now, I won't let them hurt you, they'll never hurt you again."
She reassured you as she kissed your head gently and gave you a gentle squeeze, she was so calm it put you to sleep as she waited for the police
She greeted them with you in her arms and her lips pursed
She let them check you over and took you to the hospital and let them take care of you before taking you to her home and laying you in her bed, after putting you in one of her sweatshirts
She stayed up until you woke up the next morning and kissed you softly
The lack of sleep didn't bother her, so she was perfectly fine as she drove around with you and distracted you from the day before
She was definitely the calmest out of everyone-
Phillip Graves
hm
hehehehe
He's not the government
He's a complete jackass
Made sly comments like:
"So... you wanna die?"
or
"I can see those burns on their pretty skin, do you want the same?"
You literally had to calm him down so you wouldn't have another fight on your hands
The black eye made him furious and how you limped made him see red
He was so gentle and docile with you as you gently held onto his arm
His hand delicately patted yours but quickly pulled away when you flinched
It wasn't until the late hours of the morning you actually left, you were to busy packing and calming Phillip down in between shuffles of his truck and your room
You fell asleep in his truck but woke up to him gently rolling your sleeves up to put some soothing cream on your arms
"Hey Sweetheart, have a nice nap?"
He asked with a chuckle before pressing a gentle kiss to your arm
You giggled gently and softly played with his hair
"I love you Phillip..."
"I love you too babybell"
Vladimir Makarov
He's a terrorist
He was a terror (pun intended)
He pulled a gun on your mother and held you close
No fucks given
You had to coax him into putting the gun away
"Mak... put the gun away... please put the gun away sweetheart... I don't want a murder charge..."
He put it away with a scoff when he saw how gentle your eyes were
He didn't understand how you could be so... concerned about the woman that had shoved you down stairs and sprained your wrist, making the skin an alluring purple and blue mix
The woman that left burns on your pretty hands, the woman that wore you down to the point you were almost unrecognizable from then you left to see her a week before
As he stared down at you his gaze softened and he delicately wrapped an arm around you
"Anything for you darling..."
You led him out and sat in the back seat of his car with you
You laid out on his seats with your head in his lap while someone drove, you looked up at him so sweetly as he brushed hair from your face
By the time you arrived at his safe house you weren't really upset anymore
He had amused your silly little thoughts the entire ride and made silly promises that he'd take you anywhere you wished, so when you named Paris he was... hesitant.
He didn't want you in the middle of his war, so he asked about Sweden
Which you agreed
You laughed as you stepped into his safe house and wrapped your arms around one of the thin support beams and swung around it
"We'll lay in the flower fields, if they'll let us, and cloud gaze!"
You yelled as you laughed, pulling a chuckle from him as he wrapped his arms around your waist
"Whatever you want to do, we'll do my love"
He muttered before kissing you gently, he could taste the blood on your lips making him worry that you had a busted lip
So he took your jaw in his hand and squeezed gently, making the bottom part of your face squish up and you look confused at him
"Open your mouth sweetheart, I wanna make sure that nothing inside that pretty, smart, little mouth of yours isn't hurt."
You rolled your eyes but complied, sticking your tongue out slightly for extra measure as you did
Which he quickly found the cause of the metallic taste
You had bitten your lip, really hard in fact, and it made him gently press a kiss to your tongue
"Ew!"
You exclaimed and pulled back and laughed as you covered your face
"You're disgusting Mak!"
You yelled with a laugh as he gently grabbed your wrist with his hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of your palm
"Yeah but... you love me Darling"
You couldn't really argue with him so you just shuffled your hand out of the way and kissed him
"Damn right I do Sweetheart"
You eventually got into his bed as you tugged your shirt off and let him take care of your wounds
"How the literal, and I mean this as loving as possible Baby, did you get cut THERE?"
He asked as he moved your bra band up and gently put medical glue on the wound
"uuuhhh I dunno dude, I probably got it when I tumbled down the stairs"
You said with a shrug making him pinch your stomach
"Ow! Asshole that hurt!"
"Well don't move when I'm patching my doll up!"
He shot back, and you wouldn't yelled but you honestly were to flustered to
Your face burned and you scoffed
It took a few hours to actually get in bed
When you were dozing off, you had your head on his chest as he watched some stupid show in Russian
Though he had been nice enough to put on subtitles but you weren't really paying attention as your eyes fluttered shut
His arm was around your waist and delicately tracing shapes into the shirt, which was his, you wore
He pressed a kiss to your head and whispered:
"Sleep Маленькая кукла, you're safe now"
(Little Doll)
Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin
Kinda just lurked behind you like a shadow
Very silent as he helped you pack
It was like two in the morning
He got you out of that house in an hour with all your stuff
He kissed your hand as he drove
He was the sweetest with you and held you while you cried at a pitstop and then drove with you in his lap when you passed out
10/10 boyfriend
we're all just going to pretend like I didn't forget him-
Definitely just showed up out of the blue and waited for you outside
You ran into his arms and hid your face in his chest
You pressed your face into his chest and gripped his uniform in your hands
He held you so gently and rubbed your back as your parents came out screaming
His eyes narrowed and one of his hands rested on your head and he held you tighter as he took a defensive step back before his arm went around your ass and he delicately picked you up.
"Is there an issue here?"
He asked, his voice so cold and detached as he held you up and laced his fingers with yours, calming you slightly
Your ankle was swollen and he caught a glimpse of a hand print on your upper arm and on your cheek as you shrunk into him and whispered:
"They hurt me..."
His grip became slightly tighter on you and he retreated to his truck, never turning his back
He treated this like a war zone, he pulled his truck door open and set you in as he pressed a kiss to your temple.
"You're okay now baby, you're safe. I promise..."
He whispered as you shrunk into his seat.
"alright... I love you Kees..."
"I love you too, come on, let's get you out of this shit hole..."
He gave you a lopsided smile and kissed you softly before closing his truck door
His scent, which was mostly sand and sweat if you were honest, soothed you
You found on of his hoodies, which he just carelessly threw in the back seat, and slithered into it
You pulled the hood over your head and pulled the string shut, fully engulfing yourself in his smell, which put you to sleep
You were passed out by the time Keegan got back in the truck, he smiled softly and carefully backed out of the driveway and headed towards his home
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Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight: Someone’s Something
Plot: Joel, Y/n and Ellie meet Henry and Sam, who try to convince them to team up to find their way out of Kansas City together.
Word Count: 7.1k
Warnings: tlou ep.5 spoilers, languge, implied smut, guns, mention of death, sa and loss of a child (16+)
A/N: Happy Valentines, y’all!! My gift to you is some light heartbreak with some fluff to soften the blow 😉
As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be adding anyone to the taglist unless your age is specified in your bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀
Y’all have blown this lil’ ficlet idea up so much, I’m still shocked it’s this loved. I’m so excited to finish out the second half of the season with you guys. Hang onto your butts 🤍
——————
July 1st, 2002. Austin, Texas.
Y/n had integrated perfectly into the Miller’s life. Sarah adored her, Tommy loved her, and Joel couldn’t get enough of her. He’d never admit it to Sarah, but he was thankful that she’d taken matters into her own hands and snuck down to the hardware store that June day.
In the beginning of July, Sarah went away to a two-week summer camp. Joel and Y/n had seen her off on the bus, Joel fussing over whether or not she had everything she’d need. He didn’t do well when she was gone for more than a day, a combination of missing her dearly and parental worry. Y/n had made it her goal over the course of her trip to distract him as much as she could.
They’d made a dinner date at Joel’s house the day Sarah left, the first of fourteen that Y/n had to keep him busy. His days would be consumed by work, but his nights belonged to them. Y/n knocked on the front door of the house, carrying a six pack she’d picked up on the way.
Joel hurried to the door, swinging it open and enveloping Y/n in a hug. She laughed, clinging to his neck as he literally dragged her into the house. Joel’s lips were on her the second the door shut.
“Missed you,” he mumbled between kisses.
“You saw me, like, six hours ago,” Y/n managed to say.
“Way too long,” Joel smiled against her lips.
Y/n chuckled, “Yeah, well, if I die from lack of oxygen,” she wiggled a hand between their smushed chests, “You’re gonna miss me a whole lot more.”
Joel wrapped an arm around her neck, smiling so big his cheeks hurt. That was the effect Y/n had on him. She’d turned his curmudgeon qualities, plying them like clay until they were soft. He was a new man with her in his life.
“Joel,” she said softly.
“Yeah?” He was barely taking in her words, focused on how her lips were starting to swell from his attention.
“What’s burning?”
It didn’t register at first, then he remembered the food was still in the oven. “Shit,” he muttered, letting her go to run back to the kitchen and save their dinner.
Y/n chuckled, kicking off her shoes and heading in to help him.
Joel’s attempt at a simple roast chicken and potatoes turned out slightly crispy, but good, all in all. They’d eaten it at the table, Joel’s hands stretched across the surface to hold Y/n’s.
After their meal, they retired to the living room. Joel turned on the stereo and fell onto the couch, Y/n laying her legs across his lap.
“Well, day one’s almost over,” she said, “How’re you feeling?”
Joel sighed, “She called earlier when they got there. Sounded real excited.”
“And you could not sound happier about it,” Y/n chortled, “Joel, she’s going to be fine.”
“I know that, it’s just,” Joel strroked his hand over Y/n’s calf, “It’s been me and her for…ever. When she’s off it just…”
Y/n watched her boyfriend with soft eyes, waiting for him to say more.
“I know she’s growin’ up, she’s always been independent, but,” he paused staring down at his hands, “It gets easier and easier for her every year to get on that bus. Makes me think about the day she’ll leave for good.”
“You know that no matter where she goes,” Y/n offered, “She’s always coming back here. She loves you too much.”
Joel gently smiled, his fingers brushing against Y/n’s leg. She always knew the right thing to say.
“And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she kinda loves me too,” Y/n smirked.
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot to work with there,” Joel winked.
Y/n giggled, her eyes drifting over Joel’s shoulder to the corner of the living room. An acoustic guitar sat propped up in a stand.
“Y’know, I still haven’t heard you play,” she said, nodding to the instrument.
For as much as he loved music, he still got a little bashful about his talent. “I sound like everyone else,” he replied.
“Yeah, nice try,” Y/n wasn’t so easily discouraged, “Play me something.”
Much like his daughter, there wasn’t a lot Joel could deny Y/n. If it was going to make her smile, he’d gladly do it. He lifted her legs off of him and went to retrieve the guitar.
“Does the audience have any requests?” Joel asked, settling back down beside her and fiddling with the tuning pegs.
Y/n tucked her legs into her chest, barely containing her grin, “Something sweet.”
Joel finished tuning the guitar and took his position. He hadn’t played for anyone other than Sarah in a very long time.
The first pluck of the strings relaxed them both, Joel settled into the piece quickly. Y/n watched his fingers dance up and down the string, a series of movements only he knew. It sounded like an old folk song, the kind that told the tale of doomed lovers torn apart by tragedy. She had enough musical knowledge to know it was in a minor key. Sweet, it was not, but it was brimming with passion, and the way Joel watched the strings so intensely only added to it. Y/n was taken aback by the simple beauty of him, pouring himself into the music.
When it was over, a few final notes slowing the tempo before stopping entirely, Joel looked over to Y/n, a whisper of a smile playing upon his lips. Their eyes connected, the ever present flame between them stretching the distance between their bodies. In that moment, Joel was thankful they were alone.
In the same set of seconds, Joel blindly set the guitar down to the side and Y/n surged forward, the two of them meeting in a heated kiss. Y/n held both of Joel’s cheeks in her hands while he maneuvered her on top of him, their lips never losing their connection. The sadness of the song had drawn them together, both needing to feel the fullness of each other’s devotion to counter the loss that the notes had grieved. That wasn’t them, they said with each touch, it could never be them.
—————————
September 28th, 2002. Austin, Texas.
Fall had hit Texas, as much as it could affect the south, anyway. Sarah and Y/n were in the backyard of the Milller home. Sarah had her first soccer game of the season that weekend and she wanted to get in some extra practice.
“Okay,” Y/n called from the goal, “Don’t go easy on me.”
“Yeah, right,” Sarah scoffed, she was never afraid to show the full force of her talent on the field. Faking Y/n out, she broke to the left before making a sudden right turn and shooting the ball through the goal.
“Yes,” she exclaimed, pulling her fists down in celebration.
“Alright, alright, alright,” Y/n smirked, coming up beside Sarah as she did a little victory dance, “Don’t get too cocky. Let’s work on your goalkeeping.”
Sarah grooved her way back to the goal, “Okay, but I’m kinda spectacular at that too.”
“Well, we certainly don’t need to work on your confidence,” Y/n remarked. Sarah had the same cockiness, reserved only for things she was truly great at, as her father.
Joel materialized then, coming through the back door and watching his girls from the deck. “How we lookin’?”
“Today, Taft Middle School,” Y/n replied, catching the ball with her heel as Sarah kicked it, “Tomorrow, FIFA.”
Joel smiled proudly, both at Sarah and Y/n. Most women would have kept distance between them and their partner’s child. Y/n had jumped in headfirst, determined to be there for Sarah as much as she wanted her. She was the feminine influence his daughter had been denied all her life.
“Alright,” Y/n announced, “Good?”
Sarah nodded, “Good.”
Joel saw an opportunity and couldn’t pass it up. He carefully made his way down the steps of the deck, sneaking through the grass and up behind Y/n just as she was about to make her shot. As she wound her leg back, Joel wrapped his arms around her middle and lifted her into the air.
Y/n shrieked as she was swung around, “Joel!”
“Sarah, steal it,” he yelled, smiling as Y/n wriggled in his embrace.
Sarah surged forward, avoiding Y/n’s flailing legs as she fought against Joel, and snatched the ball. She moved through the grass effortlessly and landed a perfect kick into the net.
Laughing heartily, Joel finally released Y/n back to the ground. He shared a high-five with his daughter as she bounded back to them.
“You two are awful,” Y/n gave Joel a shove to his chest, her wide grin contradicting her words.
Joel hung an arm around his girlfriend’s neck, pressing a kiss to her temple. “C’mon,” he separated from Y/n and clapped his hands, “Two-on-one, girls vs. boys.”
“We’re gonna destroy you,” Sarah teased, coming to stand beside Y/n.
“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” he quipped, standing in front of the goal.
The three of them stayed out until sunset, practicing plenty, but laughing more than anything.
—————————
December 25th, 2002. Austin, Texas.
The Millers didn’t do anything spectacular for Christmas. A church service on the 24th, a simple dinner on the 25th, and presents.
It had been decided that both Tommy and Y/n would spend the night, it would make waking up and opening gifts easier than waiting for them to drive over. Tommy had taken the collapsable cot, his body was still used to military accommodations, while Y/n had gone for the couch. Joel and her were still hesitant to spend nights together, sleeping over at the other’s only when Sarah was away at her own sleepovers. Christmas didn’t feel like the time to test any boundaries.
Just past midnight, Y/n was still wide awake, tossing and turning on the sofa. There was a light snowfall happening outside and she hoped if she watched the flakes flutter through the air long enough, she’d drift off to sleep. So far, she’d had no such luck.
She took stock of the living room in its entirety. A fresh pine tree sat in the corner, a modest stack of presents surrounding the trunk. Two stockings were hung on the walls, Sarah and Joel’s names stitched across each. The room still faintly smelled like the batch of cookies her and Sarah had baked earlier in the evening. Even in the dark and completely silent, the house felt warm.
Footsteps down the stairs drew Y/n’s attention away from the decorations. She expected to see Sarah tiptoeing in to sneak a peek at the presents. Instead, Joel’s broad shadow entered the room.
“Can’t sleep?” Y/n asked from the couch.
Joel shook his head, “Nope.”
Y/n gave a small nod, pretending like the silence wasn’t as full of asking as it was. Joel’s posture had purpose in it, he wasn’t leaving until he got what he came for.
He tipped his head back towards the stairs, his eyes never leaving Y/n’s. “C’mon,” he said, his voice raspy with near sleep.
Y/n smiled to herself, throwing off her blanket and crossing the room to take Joel’s hand. The two of them tiptoed back up the stairs, trying not to wake Sarah or Tommy. Y/n knew the walk to Joel’s bedroom like the back of her hand, navigating in the dark made no difference. She certainly didn’t need Joel’s hands on her hips to guide her, but she welcomed them anyway.
Once the door shut, their routine commenced. Joel went to his dresser, blindly reaching into one of his drawers and tossing Y/n one of his flannels. Y/n slipped it on over her t-shirt, the sleeves ending way past the tips of her fingers. They made their way to their dedicated sides of the bed, Joel closest to the door because he felt better being a wall of protection between Y/n and the world.
“We have to get up before Sarah,” Y/n reminded him.
“We’ve got a 50% chance of makin’ it down before her,” Joel said, his hands gliding around her body to pull her into him, “Christmas morning, she’s up at the crack of dawn.”
Y/n drew closer to Joel, resting one hand on his chest and the other gripping the back of his neck. Already, she could feel her body relaxing in a way the couch just couldn’t coax out of her.
All the tension Joel had been carrying in his spine went lax the moment Y/n’s fingers grazed his skin. He was finding it harder and harder to sleep without her.
“Thank you,” she said out of the blue.
“For what?” Joel asked.
Y/n’s fingers danced along the line between the ends of his hair and the base of his skull. “For letting me be a part of all this,” she answered, her voice barely above a whisper.
Joel’s heart swelled, he took one of her cheeks into his hand and let their lips drift towards one another. Six months in, and he wasn’t sure if he could fall any harder in love with Y/n. She wasn’t just his, she was theirs. She was a permanent fixture in their home, the house a little less bright when she was absent from it. She had become a confidante to Sarah, a best friend to Tommy and everything to Joel. How could he not want her in every part of their lives?
“‘M afraid you’re stuck with us, Rosebud,” Joel smiled after he pulled back, brushing his thumb across her cheekbone.
“No place I’d rather be,” Y/n returned his grin.
Pressing one final kiss to her forehead, Joel tucked Y/n against his chest, his chin resting atop her head. She let her hand drift around to his back, her fingers spreading across the expanse as she tried to hold as much of him as she could. They fell asleep within minutes, the gentle snowstorm outside creating beauty that would only enhance the magic of Christmas for the Miller family.
—————————
2023. Kansas City, Missouri.
“Eye on me! Eyes on me!”
Joel’s eyes slid to the other side of the room, to the man with the barrel of his gun pointed at Ellie. Her and Y/n both had their hands raised high.
“You don’t have to worry about what to say,” the young man said, “We don’t wanna hurt you. We wanna help you.”
Joel watched him, he was shifting his weight between both feet, no expert marksman was that nervous to threaten someone’s life. Joel felt significantly better about his chances.
“Okay.”
“Okay, um…” the young man paused, “I don’t know what the next step is with something like this, but if I lower my gun…we didn’t hurt you…so you don’t hurt us…right?”
Joel stared him down, “That’s right.”
“That’s a weird fuckin’ tone, man,” their enemy replied.
“That’s just the way he sounds,” Ellie interrupted, first looking to the stranger and then back to Joel, “He has an asshole voice. Joel, tell him he’s okay.”
Joel stared, nearly a hint of a smirk at his lips, “Everything is great.”
“Dude…” Ellie muttered.
“We’re not going to hurt you,” Y/n intervened, looking to the man, “Now drop the fucking guns before I second guess myself.”
“That wasn’t any better,” Ellie exclaimed.
“Fuck! Okay, listened,” the stranger started, his voice practically trembling, “I’m gonna trust you.”
He then stopped to signal something to the child, Y/n recognized it as ASL. They communicated something none of them could understand.
“But if any of you guys try anything,” the man kept his gun aimed at Ellie, nodding to Joel and Y/n, “Yeah? Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Ellie whispered, her heart was in her throat.
The child backed away from Joel and Y/n’s mattress, his aim still firmly locked onto them. Y/n was trying to get her heartbeat back down to a normal range.
“Can I sit up?” Joel asked, his voice was still on edge.
“Yeah,” the stranger conceded, “Slow. Get up slow.”
Joel obeyed, rising to a seated position without any rush. He raised his hands, the left one grazing Y/n’s injured right. Shockingly, the fleeting touch made her feel a little less nervous. If Joel was good for nothing else, at least he was a good fighter. They could get out of this easily, if necessary.
“Who are you?” Joel asked.
“My name’s Henry,” the now-named stranger answered, “That’s my brother, Sam. I’m the most wanted man in Kansas City. Although right now,” Henry finally lowered his gun, “My guess is you’re running a close second. Her too.”
Y/n and Joel looked to one another, that ambush was going to come back to bite them in the ass, one way or another.
“Henry,” Y/n spoke up, lowering her hands and laying them palm up in her lap, “We’re gonna need a lot more than that.”
The five of them ended up huddled around a lantern, snacking on their dwindling food supply and waiting for the rest of the story to unfold. Henry had made it clear that he had to get some food in his brother first. It had been Ellie’s idea to share what they had left.
“Where’d you get these?” Henry asked, chewing on a cracker.
“From Bill,” Ellie answered, “He’s dead.”
Y/n and Joel had been watching Sam, digging into what they’d shared with him as if he hadn’t eaten in days. There was a real possibility of it, or something along the lines. They both wordlessly handed what was left of their portions to the boy, who in return, signed something to his brother.
“He says ‘thank you,’” Henry relayed, “I’m guessing you don’t have much so, this means a lot.”
“How old is he?” Ellie asked.
The brothers talked amongst themselves, with Henry answering, “He’s eight.”
Ellie nodded, “Cool. I’m Ellie.”
“Y/n,” Y/n spoke up, wanting to try and make the child feel as comfortable as the circumstances would allow.
Henry spelled out the names for Sam, who responded with a sign that both Y/n and Ellie assumed meant ‘cool.’
Ellie smiled before smacking Joel on the knee and waiting for him to introduce himself.
“I’m Joel,” he swallowed his last bite, “Look, you ate, we didn’t kill each other, let’s call this a win-win and move on.”
Henry dusted off his hands, “Well, I’m betting that y’all came up here to get a view of the city and plan a way out. And when the sun’s up, I’ll show you one.”
Joel and Y/n thought it over separately before glancing over at one another. If Henry hadn’t killed them by now, he wouldn’t. He already knew their supply was low, the only reason he was sticking around was because he needed something from them.
“Okay,” Y/n answered for them, earning a quick turn and glare from Joel, “Sam can take our bed. As soon as morning hits, you show us the route.”
Henry scoffed, “Just like that you’re gonna trust us?”
“I know the eyes of a liar, Henry,” Y/n leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee, “And you don’t have ‘em. You weren’t even going to kill us in the first place, and you certainly weren’t gonna make him do it.”
Joel was ready to jump in at any second, but Y/n spoke with such precision and intention, he couldn’t come up with any reason to stop her.
“So how about we get some sleep,” Y/n continued, “And tackle this tomorrow?”
Henry’s eyes focused in on Y/n, someone as calculated as she was was either the most honest person on the planet or so calcuating and conniving, they could deceive the worst of humanity.
“Okay,” he landed on trust, “First thing.”
Ellie and Sam settled onto their makeshift mattresses, while the adults sat against the walls of the apartment. Henry on one side, Joel and Y/n on the other.
“What happened to equals?” Joel asked, the edge to his words undercutting the softness of their volume.
“Would what you have said been any different?” Y/n countered, watching as Joel tried to come up with an answer that differed from hers, “Exactly.”
The two of them stayed close to one another, without actually touching. Y/n was still slightly rattled from waking up with Joel’s hand over hers.
“Although my fucking neck’s gonna be messed up all day,” Y/n mumbled, trying to find a comfortable position to rest her head against the wall.
While they trusted an already sleeping Henry enough not to kill them, instinct told both Y/n and Joel to not leave themselves in such a vulnerable positon again. Sleeping sitting up was the only option that would allow them a little bit of rest.
And Joel hated what he was about to offer.
“You can…” he pointed to his shoulder, “If you want.”
“I don’t want” Y/n quickly replied.
Joel sighed in exasperation, “Forget I offered.”
He crossed his arms and settled against the wall, shutting his eyes and shutting down his momentary lapse into generosity.
Y/n inhaled, trying to get over herself. She was getting way too much up close and personal time with Joel to feel comfortable. But it was either another dose or a hideous day of lingering discomfort without the blessing of Ibuprofen.
She awkwardly scooted closer to him until their thighs were touching, causing Joel to open one eye. He looked down at their parallel bodies and back to Y/n.
“Just don’t grab my hand,” she grumbled, laying her head down on his shoulder and praying that her stomach stayed unaffected.
Joel’s body stiffened as she rested on him, a quick shot of adrenaline running through his extremities. He wanted to pretend to be unmoved, unbothered by her touch, but it was impossible. He would never fully be without affection for the way she felt against him.
“Go ahead,” Y/n said, sensing his discomfort but mistaking it for simply physical.
Joel hesitated a few seconds before shaking himself out of his doubt and resting his head on top of Y/n’s.
When the weight of Joel’s skull fell on hers, Y/n’s natural instincts took over and she almost, almost, tucked into him more. It was by the grace of God that she caught herself before she did it. No matter how hard her mind loathed him, her body would have accepted him back in a heartbeat.
The two ex-lovers sat against the wall, still trying to convince themselves that they were miles apart.
—————————
Just as the night before, they woke up so much closer than intended.
Y/n had fully curled into Joel, snuggling into his chest at some point during their glorified nap. When she woke up to the rough scratch of his flannel agaisnt her cheek, drowsiness did not immediately remind her she was in the year 2023. In her sleep-adled state, it was winter of 2002.
When consciousness pulled her back to the land of the living, she lightly groaned. Why were their sleeping selves making everything so complicated?
Y/n rolled off of Joel, causing him to sharply inhale. He blinked a few times, rubbed a hand over his face and evaluated the room. Henry was still asleep, but Sam and Ellie were already awake and sitting on the edges of their beds.
Y/n was beside him, at least twelve inches of space between them.
“I do anything in my sleep?” Joel asked.
Y/n shook her head, sucking on her bottom lip, “Nope.”
Joel wasn’t buying it, “Then whydya got that look on your face?”
“I know why,” Ellie teased in a sing-song tone.
Y/n let out two loud claps, startling Henry awake, and got to her feet. “Rise and shine, time to work.”
Joel stayed on the ground, watching how fast she moved around the room. Something had happened and it had messed with her. He ran a hand over his right shoulder, noticing that it was warm when the rest of him felt cold. He peered back over at Y/n, rifling through her backpack to find Ellie and Sam breakfast. He watched how she crouched down and handed the kids what was assuredly the lion’s share of her rations. How she held up a questioning thumbs up to Sam, who in return, smiled and copied the gesture. How she cared. She still cared so much.
It was killing him.
But there were bigger things to worry about than the stirring in his heart for the woman who perhaps, hadn’t changed that much at all.
————————————
Once fed and watered, the group of five headed a few floors up to the apartment building’s conference room. Henry had promised it had the best view of the city.
“Welcome to Killa City,” he announced, showcasing the place in daylight through the massive windows.
“No FEDRA,” Joel observed.
“Not as of ten days ago, no,” Henry replied.
“We always heard KC FEDRA was-“
“Monsters? Savages?” Henry finished for Joel, “Yeah, you heard right. Raped and tortured and murdered people for twenty years.”
Y/n looked down at her shoes, “Fucking hell.” It was stories like Kansas City that were one of her reasons for joining the Fireflies.
“And you know what happens when you do that to people?” Henry continued, “The moment they get a chance, they do it right back to you.”
“But you’re not FEDRA,” Joel stated.
Henry paused before answering, “No…worse. I’m a collaborator.”
Joel shook his head, “I don’t work with rats.”
Y/n wasn’t so quick to walk away, Henry had too much of a heart it seemed to be a true collaborator. He had a story.
“Yeah, you fucking do,” Henry said, “Today you do, ‘cause I live here and you two don’t. That’s how I followed you here. I know this city and I’m gonna help you out.”
Joel watched Henry as he spoke, trying to see through him, “Why help us?”
“I saw what you two did,” Henry answered, “The way you killed those men. Now I know where to go, but I don’t know how to make it through alone, not if it’s just Sam and me.”
“You seem capable enough,” Joel replied, “You’re armed.”
“You’re wrong and wrong,” Henry said, “Never killed anyone. And pointing an unloaded gun at you was the closest I’ve ever come to being violent.”
Y/n nodded, no one let their hand shake that much when holding a loaded gun.
“So that’s the deal,” Henry stated, “I show you the way, you clear the way.”
Joel didn’t need anyone else slowing them down or making them more noticeable. And partnering with Henry would only make them bigger targets.
At the table behind them, Ellie and Sam were seated, reading from Ellie’s pun book. The energy was divided down the room; the grown-up side was deathy heavy while the kid’s side was warm and uplifting.
“Haven’t heard that in a long time,” Henry smiled, watching his little brother laugh.
Joel turned back to the window as he tried to put distance between him and the moment. Y/n glanced over at him, watching as the cogs in his mind turned. Her mind was already made up, it would have been wonderful if they could avoid an argument.
“So how’re we getting out?” Joel relented, turning to Henry.
Henry fetched a piece of paper from one of the drawers, office supplies had never been in high demand post-pandemic. He sketched out a square, writing down the names of the roads that cut through the city.
“Highways…” he pointed to one section, “Downtown,” then to the other, “Us. This whole area belongs to Kathleen.”
“And she is…?” Y/n asked, standing between Joel and Henry.
“Leader of the resistance,” Henry answered, “You can see the way we’re bounded by highways. They got people posted all around the inside perimeter. If we get close, we get caught. No question.”
“So how do we get across?” Ellie asked.
Henry banged a fist against the table to get Sam’s attention, signing something to him after. Sam went to drawing on his magnetic erase pad, Joel wasn’t made to feel any better about a kid being involved in the planning of their escape.
Sam held up his pad, having written the word ‘Tunnels’ on it.
Henry snapped his fingers, “Boom.”
“Kansas City has a subway?” Joel asked.
“No,” Henry answered, “But they do have maintenance tunnels. There’s a bunch of buildings all put up by the same developers. And they share these tunnels, including…” he pointed down to a specific section of his sketch, “A bank building here,” he began to draw their route, “So we enter the tunnels here, travel underground, and pop up here. Westside North. Residential. There’s an embankment on the other side of the houses. We head down, pedestrian bridge over the river,” Henry dropped his pencil, “Free as a bird.”
“You’re right,” Joel admitted, “It’s a great plan. So what do you need us for?”
Henry hesitated a moment, “You notice anything strange about this city? I mean, other than the strange shit you’ve already seen?”
“No Infected?” Ellie guessed before Y/n and Joel could.
“Oh, there’s Infected,” Henry replied, “Just not on the surface. FEDRA drove them underground fifteen years ago, and never let them come back up. It’s the only good thing those fascist motherfuckers ever did.’
Joel looked between Y/n and Ellie, “So you want us goin’ into a tunnel?”
“Everyone thinks that it’s full of Infected,” Henry quickly corrected, he sensed Joel’s doubt, “Including Kathleen, which means that we’re not gonna be running into any of her people. But you see, what I know is…it’s empty.”
“You know this?” Y/n questioned, “You’ve seen it? With your own eyes?”
“No,” Henry replied.
Joel took a deep breath, hands on his hips again. Y/n sighed and rested her elbows on the table. Henry was losing them both.
“But the FEDRA guy that I worked with told me that it’s clean,” the young man continued, “Completely clean. They cleared it out. All of it.”
“How long ago?” Y/n asked, shutting her eyes as if it could shut out their problems.
“Like,” Henry shrugged, “Three years ago.”
Joel scoffed, glancing to Ellie as if asking if she was believing this either.
“Okay, maybe there’s one or two,” Henry quickly said, “But you can handle it.”
“You’re making this sound a whole lot simpler than it is,” Y/n responded, looking to Joel, whose eyes were already expectantly waiting on her. “We need a minute.
Y/n pushed open the glass doors, bringing them outside the conference room and giving them a sliver of privacy.
Joel pointed a finger behind them, “You still feel good about this?”
“Not exceptionally, no,” she answered truthfully, “But we don’t exactly have a lot of other options, now do we?”
“If this guy’s gonna endanger our lives more than if we were on our own,” Joel argued, “Then we’re better off-“
“Fighting our way through a city we’ve never been in with targets the size of Texas on our backs?” Y/n finished for him, “Look, I don’t wanna go down there either. But we’re guaranteed a very slow, very painful death if we go it alone. I’d rather have allies and stand a chance, at least.”
Joel wanted to fight tooth and nail, but he knew she was right. She’d always had a talent for being right.
“Plus, it’ll give you plenty to lord over Tommy’s head when we get to Wyoming,” Y/n quipped, her mouth still frowned but her eyes were lit up with humor.
Joel huffed, he’d have laughed if the situation wasn’t so dire. The thought of seeing his brother and his ex together again was a sight he didn’t think he’d ever be ready to see.
Without another word, and a silent concession from Joel, the two of them marched back into the conference room where the debate was still being held.
Henry pointed to Ellie, “She says y’all fought off two Clickers. Is that true?”
Joel and Y/n uncomfortably shifted, the dread sweeping over them.
“And you’re still alive,” Henry stated, “You see? You’re the right people. If it gets bad down there, we turn around, and run right back out the same way we came.”
Joel was about one poorly constructed sentence away from giving the whole idea up, “Oh, that’s your great plan?”
“No, that’s my dicey-as-fuck plan,” Henry fired back, “But as far as I can tell, it’s our only shot.”
Sam signed something to Henry.
“They’re saying,” Henry narrated as he signed back, “They’re going to help us escape,” he turned back to the party, “Right?”
Y/n rolled her eyes, “That was a low fuckin’ blow, man.”
Henry didn’t seem bothered at all by the manipulation.
Joel’s jaw twitched as he thought it all over. Y/n could practically feel his unease. She craned her neck back, muttering more into his body than at him, “Lesser of two evils.”
With every fiber of his being, Joel wanted to fight. But instead, he let his hands fall against his legs, admitting defeat.
—————————
The team got across the city with minimal close calls, every once in a while there’d be a truck or patrol group to avoid. They got to the bank building intact and only slightly out of breath.
“We need to get outta sight,” Joel said, every entrance/exit of the place was structured in a glass wall.
“Uh, I-I-I think it’s this way,” Henry pointed towards one of the halls, the rest of them following.
They trailed through the building till they hit a back door, hopefully leading to the tunnel entrance. Joel and Y/n entered it cautiously with their guns drawn.
“This should be it,” Henry announced, “You ready?”
Joel looked to Ellie, “Get your gun out.”
Rebelling in her own small way, once again, Ellie pulled out the gun from her jacket pocket. At this point, Joel wasn’t surprised in the least that she wasn’t heeding his advice. Him and Y/n marched forward regardless and took the lead. They entered through another door, delivering them into the tunnel system.
“You see?” Henry proved, “It’s empty. The plan is good.”
Joel and Y/n quickly shushed him. “‘The plan is good?’” Joel repeated, “We’ve been down here two seconds. We don’t know anything.”
Henry looked to Ellie, “Your dad’s kind of a pessimist.”
“I’m not her dad.”
“He’s not my dad.”
“He’s not her dad.”
Joel, Y/n and Ellie’s protests overlapped.
“Just point your light forward,” Joel instructed, tightly gripping his own, “And be ready to run.”
Y/n steadied her breathing and began to move beside Joel down the underground maze.
They walked for around an hour, snaking down the sets of tunnels, holding their flashlights and handguns as if they were life itself. Eventually, they turned down a hall with child’s art painted all along it. The door was even painted as castle. All of them examined the walls in quiet confusion.
Sam bounded forward, wanting to go through and explore. Joel threw his hand out to stop him, “No.”
Y/n tucked her flashlight under her chin and gripped her pistol, sharing an affirmative nod with Joel that they were ready. He slowly turned the doorknob and it creaked open, revealing a room that looked…civilized.
The whole place looked like a daycare center. There were toys scattered throughout storage bins, art and books against the walls, small cups, and a faded soccer goal painted across one of the cinderblock walls.
“I heard about places this this,” Joel commented, taking stock of their surroundings, “People went underground after Outbreak Day. Built settlements.”
“What happened to them?” Ellie asked.
“Maybe they didn’t follow the rules and all got infected,” Joel replied.
While Ellie and Sam sat down, playing with a few of the toys, Y/n, Henry and Joel scanned the room. Whoever had been living there, they’d been gone long enough for a layer of dust to settle across everything.
“Hey,” Joel called to Ellie who was being a little too loud, “Keep it down. We’re not out yet.”
“Ah, c’mon,” Ellie groaned, “Can we just rest here for a while? There’s, like, actually shit to do here.”
“Wouldn’t be so bad to wait the light out a bit,” Henry agreed, “Safer in the shadows when we pop back out on the other side.”
Joining Ellie and Henry, Y/n tilted her head in a slight shrug to Joel. It was a smart decision and he was just going to have to get over himself.
Joel shrugged back to the group, raising an eyebrow and going back to checking out the room.
Ellie and Sam occupied themselves by reading comic books and messing around with some of the toys. Henry, Joel and Y/n rested at a table, putting their feet up without actually relaxing at all. At some point, Ellie and Sam switched to kicking a soccer ball around on the makeshift field. Y/n watched carefully as Ellie interacted with the boy, she was so caring and patient. She’d confided that she didn’t have any brothers or sisters, but the glow coming from her radiated big sister energy.
Y/n scooted her chair back and walked across the room. “Can I join?”
Ellie enthusiastically began to switch the ball between her feet, trying to fake Y/n out. Y/n rotated to stand alongside Sam at the goal.
“That’s not fair,” Ellie argued, “There’s two of you.”
“Oh, so you’re saying you can’t do it,” Y/n teased.
Ellie’s determination set in, jumping slightly in place before kicking the ball in between Sam and Y/n’s legs quicker than they could stop it.
“Oh, shit,” she exclaimed, shooting her hands into the air.
Sam and Y/n shared a laugh before Y/n got down on her knees, “Can you teach me something?”
Sam watched her lips and nodded, showing her a sign. To her, it looked like he was pulling something out of his mouth, before bringing his two thumbs up and splitting their directions at his chest.
Y/n mimicked it, “What does this mean?”
“Oh, that’s from Savage Starlight,” Ellie exclaimed, copying the gesture with them, “‘Endure and survive.’”
The three of them continued to sign it over and over. It seemed to make both Ellie and Sam extremely happy, which meant Y/n would do it as many times as they wanted.
Joel and Henry watched from their seats. To say Joel’s heart ached would have been an understatement. His soul was barely holding together, a new piece of it dying off every day. But Y/n and Ellie had somehow kept the last few from withering. It was so subtle, he hadn’t even figured the phenomenon out yet. He was barely self-aware. But seeing Y/n, crouched down on the floor with the kids, still with the innate need to make the world around her better, he came to fully realize his thought from earlier in the day.
She was still his Y/n.
Smiling, laughing, loving, caring, kinder than the world deserved. Underneath all the anger was the woman he had loved with all his heart.
And that fucking terrified him.
As Y/n made her way back to them, Joel pulled himself back to reality, switching gears and channeling his energy into focusing on the kids. Specifically Sam. He was eight years old and in survival mode. No child deserved that. It was making him rethink his stance on the things he’d said earlier.
“If you were collaboratin’ to take care of him,” he said to Henry, “I…I shouldn’t have save what I said. I don’t know your situation. And I’m not sayin’ they should let it go, but all things considered, seems kinda cruel—to send a whole army after you for that.”
Henry waited a few seconds, Ellie’s cheers filling the silence, before speaking. “You know, I wasn’t, uh…exactly telling you the truth before…about me not killing someone.”
Y/n and Joel’s attention turned to him exclusively.
“There was a man,” Henry began, “A great man. You know, he was never afraid…never selfish…and he was always forgiving. Have you ever met someone like that? Kinda man you’d follow anywhere.”
Y/n tensed up, forbidding her eyes from flicking to Joel.
“I mean, I wanted to. Well…I would’ve,” Henry gathered strength for the rest of his story, “Yeah, but, uh…Sam, he, uh, he got sick. Leukemia,” he scanned Joel and Y/n’s somber expressions, “Yeah, anyway, um…there was one drug that worked and, whoa, big shock…there wasn’t much left of it, and it belonged to FEDRA. And if I wanted some, it was gonna take something big. So I gave them something big. That one great man. The leader of the resistance movement in Kansas City. And Kathleen’s brother.”
Understanding washed over Joel and Y/n. All the firepower, the tanks, the trucks, it all made sense.
“Yeah, so, you still think they should take it easy on me?” Henry asked rhetorically, “Or am I the bad guy?”
Y/n stayed silent, weighing morals against necessity. Joel pulled his lips down, barely shaking his head before Henry cut off what he would have said, “I don’t know what you’re waitin’ on, man. The answer’s easy. I am the bad guy because I did a bad guy thing.”
“But you did it to keep him alive,” Y/n spoke up, “You’d go to the ends of the earth for him. That’s not evil, that’s family.”
Henry’s eyes cut through the space between Joel and Y/n, “You two get it,” he nodded toward Joel, ”You may not be her father, but you were someone’s. See, I could tell.”
There it was. The big, dreadful, terrible thing that Joel and Y/n had gotten this far without talking about. It was the unspoken wound, the one deep enough to kill yet shallow enough that it didn’t show. It was a constant phantom pain in both their chests and it broke them all over again to have it brought up.
“You too,” Henry smiled at Y/n, nodding to Ellie, “That is, if she’s not yours.”
Y/n didn’t think the blade could slide any deeper into her heart. She had been something to someone once, and it was as much a part of her still as the air she breathed.
“Uh,” Y/n tearily began, clearing her throat quickly, “No, she’s not mine.”
Joel had had more than he could handle just by Henry’s assumption about him. Referring to Y/n as the word he couldn’t bring himself to utter in that context had sent him over the edge. He picked up his gun from the table and practically jumped to his feet, “We’ve waited long enough.”
Y/n stayed still at the table, holding back her tears took so much strength, it was stealing her ability to move. If she allowed herself to cry in front of Joel, she didn’t think she’d ever recover.
Henry didn’t ask questions, he didn’t bring up the very visible sorrow etched across Y/n’s face. Some hurt was palpable without ever being touched on, and it was painfully clear that Joel hadn’t been the only one to lose a child…
————
TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest @burninggracesandbridges @star-wars-lover @lucyhotchner @cococola-cocaine @witheringhqarts @fall-writes @alwaysdjarin @xxmoonn @emilia-the-artist @wand-erer5 @boneyarrd @lizard-zombie @itwasallinmyhead1 @cassidylea123 @paleepeaches @mxltifxnd0m @kettlekatie @ultimate-cinephile @gloryekaterina @caramelkatsukis-bitch @whovianayesha @memeorydotcom @deadunicorn159 @get0ut0fmyr00m @siriuslymooned @emmyeed @superbreadsoul @hellu-people1 @ourautumn86 @inas-thing @noraapple05 @givemylovetoall @luvwanda @avengersfan25 @pedr0swh0r3 (tags cont. in comments)
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller imagine#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#the last of us imagine#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fanfic#twenty years later#the last of us spoilers
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summer nights (tate langdon x reader)
cw: alcohol, animal abuse (i am so so so sorry), tate being tate, tate being a simp for the reader and reader being obsessed with tate
a/n: i kinda want to make a couple parts for this (like tate one shots in the same universe if that makes sense?)
I was so bored. Ghost life was nothing like I imagined. In my head, I had a picture of it, something demonic, almost like hell after death. But it turned out I was wrong, once again. The afterlife was literally just walking around the house that I was murdered in, haunting it's halls and laying on my old bedroom floor while counting the holes in it. It was convinient because I could walk around in my underwear and not feel cold or hot—something death provided for you.
Well besides that, I had Tate. He was a seventeen year old psychopath who died in here not long ago, but I hadn't seen him much. He liked to hide and appear when you least expected him to. We talked, but not much. It seemed like he adapted to ghost life better than I did. And besides him, no one else wanted to hang out.
The new owners were some young couple with no kids, but a dog and they were annoyingly loud. They smashed the plates for no reason. They screamed at each other when they felt like it. It reminded me of my parents and I wanted them to shut up.
But I wasn't going to kill them. I am not a murderer. I still wasn't sure how to get rid of them, so I did nothing.
I was so bored one day that I decided to do something irrational. Well, there were no consequences when you are a ghost.
It was a hot summer night. I was up in my old bedroom, in a bra and a leather skirt when I heard someone locking the doors. I looked through my window. The annoying couple went out. Thank god.
I exited my room and went to the kitchen. I was curious. I don't remember the last time I ate. I didn't need food to function anymore, but... I looked around the drawers and finally found what I've been looking for. It was locked, but through the glass I could see the colorful liquor waiting, unopened. I never had a chance to get drunk, since I died in the midst of my teenage years.
I couldn't find the key. So I smashed the glass with my fist. I didn't feel pain, so that was convenient. It fell on the floor in million little pieces. I wasn't sure if the liquor was going to have any affect on me, but I didn't care.
I took the first bottle of whatever and opened it, not bothering to take a proper glass. I took a swing and felt alchohol burn my throat. It was relaxing. I always knew I would love it. I drank and drank until the bottle was half empty. I only felt light dizziness but nothing more.
"Save something for the others."
I turned around, bottle in hand, and looked at Tate's relaxed figure leaning on the kitchen doorframe.
"I'm not making any promises. Take it now if you want." I gestured at the other full bottles of various liquor.
"You know you can't actually get drunk, right? You're just wasting good whiskey." Tate looked at me, up and down and I wondered how he saw me in that moment. Dark circles under my eyes, disheveled hair, nothing on me but my bra and some mini leather skirt that probably rose up too high. I was too dead to be shy.
I frowned at him. "Well, it tastes good. And besides, what do you suggest I do to kill this boredom? I would die of it if i hadn't already been dead."
He laughed. "There are plenty of things to do around here if you think hard enough."
I continued to drink, swallowing bittersweet taste of whiskey from almost empty bottle. "So?" I urged him to continue.
"Do you like the new owners?"
I looked at him suspiciously. "Of course not. I would like to see them leave. For good."
"Great. Now listen..."
So he explained to me his twisted idea. And I agreed. Anything to get rid of the stupid couple that lived here.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" His voice was so calming. I was sure I would say yes to anything he suggested. I guess it was in his nature to be so persuasive.
"Why would I say no? Do I look like a dog person?"
He stared at me for a moment, mouth agape, not at my eyes, but the lacy fabric between my breasts. I cleared my throat. His eyes shot upward, "Yes— Uh, no, I guess not. Let's just find the dog."
I smirked as he walked in front of me. I had to admit, it was flattering to be center of someone's attention like that.
The dog was sleeping peacefully in the living room when we got in. I handed him the knife and stood by the door as he walked up to the sleeping creature.
"Ah, so you are scared."
"Not really, I just know you get off on murdering everything living and breathing." He smiled at me.
I wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing because his hand looked so good while holding that kitchen knife I had to stare at it for a whole minute. His ring was just a bonus. I had to rush away the unwanted thoughts about Tate that appeared to me once in every few months.
"You done?" I asked him.
Tate looked at me, a little blood on his beautiful hands, "Are you still bored?" After killing it, Tate dragged the dog to the kitchen and I followed him.
"In fact, yes. So I am going to listen to your previous advice," I chugged the rest of the bottle until it was empty.
"Do they have a record player?"
"Yes, it's in the living room. If you payed attention, you would've seen it." I rolled my eyes at him and went to the record player and saw a whole vinyl collection beside it. I browsed through it and smiled in victory.
Nirvana started playing.
I wasn't a big fan, but when I walked through the house in the middle of the night and Tate was still alive, I heard him play some of their records on repeat. I memorized almost every song. I knew he loved them.
I ran to the kitchen and smiled at him as he butchered the poor dog. It was part of his plan, but I never said I would touch the animal. His black sweater was drenched in blood. "We needed music. Now I'm not so bored." I opened another bottle and smashed the empty one against the wall.
"You really got the spirit." He mumbled while taking the dog's guts and putting it all over kitchen table and walls.
"And you really committed to it." I said while eyeing the mess he made. It was disgusting, but it was going to scare the stupid couple.
I could see he was glad I played his favorite band and it made me happy.
"Would it be too cliche if we wrote 'leave' on the wall?" I sat on the kitchen counter.
"Yes."
"Okay. Let's do it."
I waited until he finished his little art project and took the blood that was all over the floor on my index and middle finger and wrote in capital letters over the wall. I was hundred percent sure I wasn't bored anymore.
Then we went to the living room. He sat on the couch and I layed on the floor almost beside his converses. We waited for them to return.
Nirvana continued to play. "Why did you play them?" Tate looked down at me.
"Because you love Nirvana. And some songs really grew on me. And you have pretty hands. Like really, really pretty."
He raised one eyebrow at me that said Seriously?
I nodded and rolled over to the other side, away from him. Then we heard the door open. Footsteps. And then the horrified screams.
I wasn't sure who got out first, but they sure did leave. Tate smiled from the couch, revealing his dimples that made him look kind and adorable, even if he was diagnosed psychopath.
I started jumping across the room from happiness and Tate laughed.
I clasped my hands together, "What should we do next?"
#tate langdon#tate ahs#tate langdon x reader#ahs cult#ahs coven#ahs fanfic#ahs fandom#ahs#american horror story#american horror murder house#murder house#evan peters fanfic#evan peters x reader#evan peters
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okay, so I just saw a TikTok where "First Burn", the song cut from Hamilton, was playing over an animated clip of the half-bloods yelling at the gods to be better. I'll link the TikTok if you want to see it, but I came here to rant.
In the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, we follow the life of a demigod named Percy Jackson as he goes on quests, becomes a hero, falls in love, but most importantly, constantly fights for his life amongst his friends and family. Worst part: It isn't just him. Every half-blood, in one way or another, has risked their life, or died, doing the god's bidding. At the end of The Lightning Thief, we learn that demigods are actually so fed up with this vicious cycle of saving the world and not getting as much as a pat on the fucking head from their godly parents that they form a revolt, and assist in the uprising of Kronos, the god of time, to do away with the gods entirely. This rebellion resulted in various degrees of sacrifice, death, and world destruction, and when, after four years, it's finally over, the gods bestow these demigods with honorable titles and even offer a demigod, Percy Jackson, the chance to become immortal and be an equal amongst the gods. These children, children, fought in a literal war, which resulted in so many tragedies that I can't name them all, and the only thing the gods do is give them the equivalent of a medal. And what I love about Percy Jackson is he says no to their offers and demands that they become better parents, become more involved in their kids' lives, and create a world where twelve-year-old children don't have leave a haven and go on a quest to save their mortal parent that was killed by a minotaur, where seven-year-old children don't have to run away from home and find a couple of runaway demigods to be a family with and then watch one of them be ripped to shreds while the other grows up to revolt against the gods because they were neglected, where fifteen-year-old children didn't have to swear by an immortal goddess to escape a great prophecy that damn near ensures they will die before they graduate. Percy Jackson asks the gods for the bare minimum of not putting their kids' lives on the line, and the gods promise to. And then four months later, they break the fucking promise and send one of their most beloved and respected heroes across the fucking country with no memory of his life for eight months, amongst other tragedies like forcing two of their demigods to trail through Tartarus, the equivalent of Greek hell, a place even the gods are afraid of!
I just.
Not a single god, except for Auntie Hestia, deserves the patience and grace these demigods are granting them. If anything, the gods should get off their thrones, get on their knees, and fucking pray that these demigods don't start another revolt.
the TikTok I watched before writing this:
Tags:
#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo books#pjo rant#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#thalia grace#charlie beckendorf#silena beauregard#clarrise la rue#ethan nakamura#luke castellan#sally jackson#chiron brunner#say their names#get on your knees and pray “your majesty”#get on your knees and pray “my lord”
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Had a Random Burst of Inspiration
I'm not sure if anything will actually come of this, but I wrote a bit of Turlough being a big brother to Adric and thinking about how they both have nightmares. This isn't anything like a complete story, even a short one, but I've been having writer's block for nearly a month now and I'm just excited that I created something.
CW: Turlough remembers being branded with the Misos Triangle, and the same thing happening to a literal infant. Nothing graphic, but it's mentioned, so now you know. There's also some talk about what happened to Adric in Castrovalva, so the word "torture" is used.
Adric was afraid of the Master. Of course, they all were, to some extent. Turlough found him more irritating than anything else. He usually just let the Doctor handle him and stayed out of the way. But, the other companions had a different perspective. To Tegan, this was the man who randomly murdered her aunt. To Nyssa, this was an evil being walking around inside her father’s corpse. And to Adric, this was a monster who kidnapped and tortured him to make him a weapon to use against the Doctor.
Nyssa and Tegan didn’t talk to him about their problems. They had each other and Turlough wasn’t about to stand in the middle of whatever they had. But when Adric had nightmares, he woke him up. They only shared a room because there were only so many bedrooms close to the console room and the Doctor didn’t want them getting lost. Honestly, they only shared the room around half the time anyway, with Turlough spending more and more time in the Doctor’s bed. But, on the nights they were sharing a room, sometimes Adric would wake up thrashing and muttering refusals. He wouldn’t obey the Master. He wouldn’t betray the Doctor. Turlough would crawl out of his own bed to wake him up, rescuing him from his own mind. He’d try to soothe him, though he had no idea how to do that. It was exhausting. He often fell asleep in Adric’s bed next to him, as if his physical presence could keep the bad dreams away.
Turlough knew what it was like to have nightmares, and to be tormented by some evil thing that wanted the Doctor dead. He never bothered Adric about them. There was nothing the kid could do. Anyway, Adric could sleep through basically anything. He never had to know. Even though he knew things about him that no one else in the TARDIS did. He knew that he’d had a family once. A mother, a father, brothers, sisters. He had no idea what happened to most of them. He knew his mother was dead. He’d been there when it happened. His older brothers and sisters ran away after that and he never saw them again. They were probably dead too. As for his father and younger brother…
Those were the worst nightmares. Worse than the Black Guardian, worse than the bullies at Brendon, worse than the battles, even worse than that day at the academy where he is mother died in from of him. It was those screams. Some nobody who called himself a judge reading out sentences of death and exile with no emotion in his voice. The smirks of the Custodians as the prisoners were paraded in front of them and strapped down. It was bad enough when they branded him. It was bad enough when they branded his father, who put on such a brave face for his children. But Malkon…he wasn’t even a year old. He had no idea what was happening. He was just suddenly yanked from his father’s arms and burned with a hot iron. Those screams…
Based on Trion maturation rates, Malkon would look around Adric’s age now. Maybe that’s why Turlough felt like he had to watch over him. He also knew that Adric had had a brother once, one that would be around Turlough’s age. They grew up without parents, so this brother, Varsh, was all he had.
Adric saw Varsh die in front of him like Turlough watched his mother be gunned down. They both understood what it meant to watch the person who’d kept them safe become a pale corpse in front of their eyes. Turlough was fortunate enough that when his mother died, he could run to his father, even if he didn’t do much to comfort him. Adric ran to the Doctor. He’d only just met him, and he wasn’t any better than Turlough’s father when it came to comfort. Turlough suspected that the incarnation of the Doctor he knew was even worse than the one before him in that regard. Though, he’d gotten better. At least, Turlough didn’t feel as bad about his nightmares when he woke up next to him.
#fanfic writing fragment#au where adric lives and travels with turlough#adric of alzarius#vislor turlough#turlough pov#fifth doctor#nyssa of traken#tegan jovanka#five/turlough#tegan/nyssa#ships not important they're just referenced a bit
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DAY SIX PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!
This fic was cross-posted on AO3 here
Family Forged in Fire
Recording | Made to Watch | "It should've been me"
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Words: 1,163
Warnings: house fire, PTSD, childhood trauma, character death
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first thing I saw was smoke. The room got all hazy. It looked like dark fog. And the smell was bad.
Something’s wrong, this isn’t normal.
I went down stairs. “Mommy! Daddy! Something’s wrong with the air!”
But the downstairs was worse. I looked for one of them, either of them, but all I found was…
No…
“MAMA!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. She was on the floor, still, not moving. Her face was wrong. It wasn’t her. “Mama! Mama wake up! MAMA! PAPA SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH MOMMY!”
I heard something behind me. I looked over. Whatever was wrong with mommy is wrong with daddy too. I crawled over to him. “Papa? PAPA! WHY AREN’T EITHER OF YOU ANSWERING?!”
I started crying. Mommy told me the best thing for me to do when I was hurting, on the inside or out, was cry and it’d feel better. But it didnt stop hurting. Nothing stopped hurting.
The air started getting hot. I saw something orange starting to spread from the kitchen to where I was. A big man dressed in primary colors walked up to me and picked me up. “Your parents aren’t coming back kid. I’m sorry. Let’s get you out of here.”
I knew his voice. I cried even harder. This is the man that mama and papa were shouting at earlier. What happened to them was caused by him.
I punched him in his chest. “YOU DID THIS! YOU’RE THE REASON MOMMY WONT WAKE UP AND WHY DADDY LOOKS ALL WRONG!” I shrieked.
He held me around the chest tighter, my breathing got more difficult. “Shut up kid, you’re gonna act like nothing happened, am I clear? I’m saving you from a housefire. I did not kill your parents, they burned to death. I didn’t start the fire, it came from burning food. Now be quiet or I’ll throw you in the flames too.”
I cried and cired. It was all I could do.
He killed them. I dont want to die. I dont wanna die I dont wanna die I dont wanna die-
----《 ¤ 》----
“Hey nii-san.”
“Hey. Whatcha watching?” I asked as I walked down the stairs to get a snack.
“News.”
I actually need to catch up on the news. “You mind if I join you?”
“Do whatever you want. There’s nothing about him so I think we’ll be fine.”
I got myself some strawberries and sat down next to the figuratively and literally explosive blonde that was my brother.
My phone buzzed with a message and I opened it up while I listened to the newscaster in the background.
Charging Port: [Hey, watcha doin?]
Me: [Hanging out with my brother]
Charging Port: [...you mean your adoptive brother?]
Me: [Details, details…]
Me: [Also yes literally who else would I be talking about]
Charging Port: [I’m just making sure]
Me: [What do you think I have a secret brother that survived the fire and has been living in Japan, completely unknown for 13 years?]
Charging Port: [lol]
Me: [Anyways, what did you need?]
Charging Port: [uhhhh dont watch the news]
Charging Port: [especially not FNN]
“...hey Kat, what channel is this?”
“Fuji? Why?”
“Okay good, Kaminari said I needed to stay away from this channel right now. Our TV has what, a 1 minute delay compared to his on this channel?”
He smirked. “Well, let’s see what he didnt want you to see.”
The scene changed. A fire. A house fire.
I only saw it for a few seconds before I was four again, unable to wake up my parents, not knowing what was going on, the only thing I was sure of being the hero that ‘saved me’ killing them and covering it up with a fire.
They shouldn’t have died, it should’ve been me, they shouldn’t have died, it should’ve been me, they shouldn’t-
“CLO!” nii-san was shaking me now.
“Wha- huh?”
“...Pikachu was right, we shouldn’t have watched the news, holy fuck thank the gods you’re normal again.”
I looked back to the screen. That fire was at Mina’s house.
“<...we dont believe anybody is in the house, but this can be used as a good example of…>”
Mina said she was home alone tonight and wouldn’t be leaving the house.
Both my body and my brain suddenly kicked it into high gear and I dashed back up to my room, changing as quickly as I could into my fireproof suit. C’mon, c’mon, there isn’t much time…
I put on a jacket and put one of my high-grade filter mechanical filter masks in the pocket.
I grabbed a second one for me and went back downstairs, going to the bathroom and rummaging through some of Mom’s things for a hair tie and bobby pins, putting my long hair up into a messy bun so none of it would catch fire.
I put on my mask and travelled through the shadows right outside the house. I could feel my phone buzzing relentlessly in my pocket but I didnt care.
I drew the Ancient Geldyrn symbol for goodluck on my chest and kicked in the backdoor.
Where are you.
I ran up the stairs to her room and pounded on it. “MINA! MINA CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!” The door was locked from inside.
Please answer please answer please answer…
“MINA???”
Nothing. I took a step back and slammed my body against the door, enough to break the latch.
I saw her passed out on the floor. I kneeled down and pput my filter mask on her as quick as I could. You’re gonna survive, You will survive, I will not let you die.
I secured it around her head, grabbed her phone and threw her over my shoulder before running downstairs, through the livingroom-
Dont think about it, dont think about it.
As soon as we were out I was able to find a substantial enough shadow to travel back through and I dropped her on the couch before letting out a sigh of exhaustion.
“Good gods Clo, you need to not do that,”
“Do what?” I asked, sprawling myself out on the floor.
“Suddenly running around and fucking teleporting to her! All I saw was you rushing around like a madman then a slight figure in the background of the broadcast! You could’ve atleast given me a warning.”
“Too little time, my rushing around was your warning.”
“You could’ve called the pros or something! Or I dont know, at least shown yourself a bit more to the news so they knew they were wrong???”
I looked at my brother and smiled slyly. “You know damn well why I dont trust either of them.”
He facepalmed.
Izuku had appeared in the time I was gone apparently. “Why dont you trust them?”
Both me and Kat said in unison, “We dont talk to cops here.”
I laughed while he groaned. He knew what was coming.
“Oh boy, do I have a lot to fill you in on~”
#whumptober2023#no.6#recording#it shouldve been me#my hero academia#fic#house fire#ptsd#childhood trauma#character death#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writers#creative writing#my writing#whump community#whump writer#whump writing#psychological whump#whump scene#emotional whump#whump#oc: ov
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Hell’s Paradise EP1
aka: gabimaru the hollow soft. he’s a good boy.
The fact this gave me Dororo vibes and is also produced by MAPPA means I’m in for a good time.. although nothing says “happy new series day” like starting off with an execution. Hurray death?
“Furthermore, beheading a person with a single blow is next to impossible. In most cases, several blows are required to behead a person, which makes executions a horrific spectacle.” Seeing how Gabimaru has scars on the back of his neck already I assume it ain’t easy to kill this man.
Can he like.. not actually die? His neck broke that sword in half..
Let’s goooo OP! The little bit we heard from trailers has literally been stuck in my head for weeks now.
Oohh it’s all so pretty.. the song was as good as expected too!
Okay watching it over again and noticing a whole lot of flowers, Gabimaru blazing like an infernal, Tenza badly injured, the blonde chick with the eye scar possibly Gabimaru’s wife? and an unexpected sweet smile from Chobei. Oh I’m so excited to see everyone.
Our man is from the hidden rock village hm? Do ya know Deidara?.. Is that how he broke the blade. Are you made out of stone my guy?
“For someone from Iwagakure, breaking a blade with your own flesh is a simple task.” “Well, yeah. Someone that shitty with a sword can’t hurt me.” Pfft not even four minutes in and he’s won me over.
People have tried stabbing him with a spear to kill him and once said spear breaks, all he can say is “sorry.” No, I’m sorry, I love him so much already.
They even tried burning him alive to no avail. Sweetie are you cursed or something?
This guy holding baby Gabimaru really just killed his parents in front of him?
He can’t even be pulled apart by two bulls.. why does death always escape you sir if you wish for it so bad?
“I had the chief’s recognition and married his daughter. But his daughter was a real idiot.” Wow Gabimaru, tell me how you really feel.
Dude you said you would give up on life yet here you are yet again surviving another execution, which this time is nonchalantly walking out of burning oil like it’s no big deal.
Okay I’ve been hearing a small bell chime whenever Sagiri was onscreen but I couldn’t figure out where the hell the actually bell was til now.
Oh shit, he’s actually scared she could kill him! That vision sliced his head clean off.
“Do I not want to die?” Apparently not! Heaven knows why though.
“To you, is she not your reason to live?” Aw he does care for wifey. But aaah look at the smile and blush of his in the flashback!
Bro he spoke softly this whole time but hearing him yell out now against Sagiri to try and convince himself he has no attachments feels so raw and real. His voice actor is nailing it.
Ah I was right, the lady in the OP with the scar was his wife. Ma’am what is your name? You’re being so sweet to our main man.
Wait, her own father burned her face? What a bastard.
Gabimaru got so flustered from just a simple kiss. He is so precious!
“Someone like you couldn’t possibly be hollow.” Such a pleasant surprise to see he’s not actually emotionless. I didn’t expect him to act this way at all but I love it.
Humans become flowers in the underworld place? Suddenly the OP doesn’t seem very beautiful..
“Traveling to a mysterious island with heinous criminals condemned to death and competing with them for a pardon is the only way for you to be reunited with her.” So I assume just one criminal, whomever returns with the elixir of life, will be spared, while the others will be killed hm? Which is a shame because despite not seeing anyone else yet I’m quite curious to meet the others we’ve saw glimpses of in trailers! And I’m not ready to get attached to them like I already have to Gabimaru if they’re all gonna die!
Ooohh he’s finally using some ninjutsu!
He can be so fierce yet so laid back, how impressive.
I was about to comment on how calming the ending song is focusing on Sagiri til it gives us flashes of Gabimaru going crazy, most likely killing enemies. Oops.
MMHHMM overall a real strong start! Gabimaru is already such a joy to watch and the animation is nice so far too.
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So i finished watching the first season of CBS Ghosts, so this is the sequel to my first impressions post. My brain is preventing me from coherently creating thoughts but i know if i dont post this now i will never post it ever.
My thoughts in a big unfiltered list (sorry):
--Isaac is still my favourite character and he is going to forever live rent free in my brain. Him constantly gasping dramatically, him saying Hamilton was “fiNEee” with an eyeroll as hes battling with his love for theatre and his hatred for Hamilton. Icon behaviour. And Isaac and Nigel are so sweet and i love them so much. Everytime he pushed Nigel away i was screaming crying throwing up, silly guy behaviour over here.
--Nigels accent made me fucking wheeze as a british person, its so posh its hilarious and i love him for it
-The contrast between The Captain’s repression and Isaac’s acception is really great and i love them both dearly.
--Trevor is better in my brain now, he barely hits on Sam anymore so uncomfortableness has been vanquished and his backstory made me like him more. I like the twist and how he’s different from Julian with the fact that he didnt die in the act. Im separating them more in my head
--Jay is slightly better i guess? yeah thats it. hes allowed to exist, his and sams relationship still dont really have the right vibes for me but idk its probably just me
—Isaacs and Hettys relationship is so adorable like go off besties gossip about men but very specifically nigel
--Okay im going to be honest some of the episodes dragged and werent really enjoyable for me? maybe its because i thought there were thirteen episodes and when i was finishing episodes ten i was like hyped like “ok im nearly finished lets go!!!!” and then i checked and saw there were EIGHTEEN.
--Episodes i liked a lot / loved:
8)DND
9) Alberta’s Fan
15) Thorapy
16)Trevor’s Pants
17)Attic Girl
18)Farnsby & B
(Mostly because they had Isaac +Nigel in some of them. Also you can see the massive gap which is when i began to lose hope in existing)
--Episodes i hated:
13)The Vault
(BURN IT WITH FIRE. Elias’ ghost power made me want to scream and i had to mute it and fastforward it at on point bc my secondhand embarrassment was too strong for me to handle. The only good part of this episode was when Elias went down -into hell im guessing- and the ghosts screamed collectively. That was funny )
--The humour is really different from BBC ghosts. CBS is less subtle and very outright! i did laugh out loud quite a lot (Mostly bc of Isaac tbh. Also “Oskar is squirrel”).
i do think that its more “in the moment” type humour, if that makes any sense? like i laugh in the moment but i cant remember any jokes from it that i would reference in daily life, BUT maybe thats just because im comparing it to bbc ghosts which i had an allconsuming obsession with and can quote whole parts of episodes off the top of my head and which i influenced my parents into watching it too so we both know the jokes. so yk. its probably just me (again lol)
--also, CBS ghosts treats the Ghosts deaths in a very lighthearted way. None are very heartbroken over their deaths and many easily tell the stories of how they died. I do like this but sometimes they try to have some emotional moments?????? i mentioned this before but they literally have no impact
compared with BBC ghosts which treats each Ghosts death with varying degrees of poignancy, its very different and a nice change
— im glad i got to see more of Sasappis and Flower, theyre both icons tbh. im still wondering where Crash is?? Ive seen him maybe three or four times and one of them was in the background?
UHHH so to conclude,,, i think its a mostly entertaining show with interesting characters! Ive been rewatching a few episodes ive really liked. The episodes i didnt like as much would serve as good background noise i think.
#cbs ghosts#bbc ghosts#i am simply a humble person throwing my own opinion into t he world#may update later#if i remember more stuff? i guess
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L - Lung Distress
L - Lung Distress
He opened his mouth — bad idea when you are underwater — and his throat, his lungs, his whole body was drowned by the liquid that was pulling him from outside. All around him was water and silence. Cold and water. Loneliness and death... Carlos knew that if he didn't get out of the water, it wouldn't be long before he was dead, but the uniform weighing down his body was making things almost impossible, the tiredness from the minutes he had been fighting... Or maybe it had only been seconds.
He had never done the test to find out how long he could hold his breath underwater, without breathing... holding his breath. But he had stopped doing that, he had stopped holding it and the water was rushing through his body, searing his veins. It was also burning his muscles and his brain was about to explode.
He could barely think anymore and felt himself falling, sinking, being pulled down, or was it up because he was dying and his body was about to surface.
They would find him like this, swollen from the water inside his body, pale, perhaps disfigured. Maybe there were fish or flesh-eating creatures in the water and then TK... no... no... TK would have to identify his fish-eaten body. He couldn't put him through something like that.
Not to TK, not to his parents, not to anyone who cared about him.
He had to fight for all of them, because he had already pulled the woman out of the water, now it was his turn, he had to get out of the water, resist and fight... It hurt but he had to fight. If only because if he died, he knew that TK would too.
No matter the reason, getting out of the water and surviving was the most important thing now. When he got to land he would worry about what would happen next.
He kicked in the water as hard as he could, though he barely moved and maybe that was why, because he wasn't moving and was only going down...always down, to the bottom of the lake where he would be lost forever.
"TK..." he thought in one of his last breaths. "I'm trying... I promise I'm trying, I'm fighting to get back to you, but I can't. I'm tired, I can't take it anymore… I want to get out, I know I'll die if I don't, I know you'll die if I don't and that's why I keep kicking, but I know it's too much."
When his hand suddenly touched the surface, he clutched his fingernails to the earth beneath him. He hurt himself but pulled his other hand out of the water and dug his other nails into the earth as well.
He pulled his body. He was exhausted, and literally couldn't breathe, but he kept pulling until half his body was out. No, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't get any air into his lungs, and when he breathed in nothing happened.
His body fell forward, he could still feel the water on his legs; if he wasn't careful the water would take him in again, but he had used his last bit of strength to get there, so that someone would see him before it was too late.
"TK..." he muttered as everything went black, and death quickly took over his being.
"Has anyone seen Carlos?" Mitchell asked, walking through the wreckage of the multiple accident.
Five cars and two trucks had been involved because of the slippery ground in the middle of an ice-covered road. They had skidded all over the place, one of the cars had fallen down a slope and had come very close to a lake. The two trucks had collided causing a fire that the 126 was taking care of while Tommy's ambulance and crew were tending to the injured, waiting for more ambulances to arrive.
Mitchell and Carlos had been among the first to arrive. They had taken two of the drivers of the cars to safety and had split up to help with the other vehicles involved in the accident, but it had been a while since they had seen each other.
She had tried to call him on the radio, but Carlos had not answered. With all the craziness they were in the middle of, they hadn't had a chance to see each other again and now she was worried about him.
"TK," she called out to him as she saw them close the ambulance door and get ready to leave. "I don't want to worry you and I'm sure it's silly but I haven't been able to reach Reyes… Carlos. Have you talked to him?"
"Um, no. Now that you mention it I've been so busy with stitches and bandages that I didn't realize we haven't talked. Why?"
"I don't know, I have a...weird feeling and Carlos always answers my radio messages. But today... This will be silly, I know, but it's been a while since he last answered me."
"Hold on, I'm going to call him," TK said.
Keep reading on AO3
#9 1 1 lone star#carlosreyesazwhump#911 lone star#carlos reyes#sick carlos#tarlos#tk strand#whump carlos#protective tk#hospital
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POETIC TRAGEDY
pairing: serpens alphard lehnsherr-black x lettice abigail scamander
warnings: suicide attempt; angst as fuck; electric shock to the whole body (skin burns; heart failure); dagger; blood; shirtless girl; self-blame; short fluff scene; offensive words
fandom: potterhead
author’s note: english is not my first language, sorry for any grammatical errors; this is part of a super shuffled fanfic i created in my head with regulus black's children (serpens is the third child of five); letty may seem a little crazy for doing this but she's actually right, if she doesn't die soon and complete the connection between them it will keep happening this with serpens every time they meet (it's literally an ultimatum from his phoenix)
Lettice's hands were shaking. It was her body warning that this is not a good idea. A thousand and one alerts were beeping in her head and she still ignored them. Her heart spoke louder, screamed that it was for love. She was as calm as ever, the decision had been made and she wouldn't change her mind. In seconds she would take her own life, and not for a moment would she regret it.
The dagger was already in her hands, the blade gleaming in the light that hit it. Letty laughed. It was dramatic, she knew, but it was the way she distracted herself from impending death. The girl was inspired by a muggle classic she got as a gift from her grandfather. Romeo and Juliet, the name. The book was particularly troublesome, but the deaths caught her eye. It was a poetic tragedy, just as her death will be.
Her knees ached from the time kneeling on the cold floor. Green eyes staring intently at the mirror in front of her. Calm, that's all she saw. Her shirt had been tossed across the room, to give more access to the heart, and the dagger was already positioned in the right place. The blade pierced the skin slowly and, just as the wound was starting to get deep, the door opened with a loud thud.
Scamander got up quickly from the floor, startled by the noise. The reflection in the mirror revealed Serpens, but she preferred to believe that was hallucinating. He wasn't supposed to be there. Not now. Just a few more minutes and she would make it. Just a few more minutes and they wouldn't have to worry about anything else.
The brunet didn't even stop to take a breath before running to the girl. He was angry. Seething with rage. But it wasn't hers, it was his. Lettice was doing this for him. It was his fault. When he turned the redhead's body towards him, he grabbed the dagger blade and pulled hard. She didn't want to let go, and was crying begging him to let her finish what she'd already started. The boy's hands were already soaked in blood, but he didn't show even a hint of pain. Letty screamed in terror, but Serpens only dropped the blade when he threw it across the room, having managed to remove the dagger from the redhead's hands.
— Lettice... Is that why you asked me to talk to my parents? — the girl stared at the dagger, lying on top of one of the beds in the dormitory — To get me out of the castle? To commit this… INSANITY?! — the scream snapped her out of her trance, causing the prefect to look at the Lehnsherr-Black.
— I can do anything for you — tears were already falling from the eyes of the tallest.
— How can i live with this? Knowing that you sacrificed a perfectly normal life to be by my side. To jump headfirst into my family's problems.
— So what you expect me to do? — she shoved the boy's shoulder, smearing the plaid shirt with her bloodied hands — Sit and watch them take you away from me? When i know i can stop it? When i know we could be together?
— And when you die? Huh, Lettice? And when i bring you back? How do you think it would be? The weight of these powers is a burden, not a blessing. You'd have to watch your brother and all the other people you love and care about die with nothing you could do about it. And no matter how hard you try, you can never die. Believe me, i tried. You'll never be able to get rid of this constant pain that haunts anyone with a fucking phoenix in their heads. A phoenix that tells you every second of your existence how useless and insignificant you are.
— At least i'd have you by my side, helping me through it all — approached the teenager, placing her right hand gently on his face — And i would be on your side too, my sparkly boy. You've had this weight on your shoulders since you were very young, bearing it alone and blaming yourself for every misfortune that befalls your family. It's not your fault, Serpy, it was never your fault. I've been scared for so long, but it's finally gone and i feel ready. Ready to step into this crazy world of yours and defend your family — she stopped for a moment — No. Defend OUR family with claws and teeth. I love you, Serpens Lehnsherr-Black, and it will be an honor to die for you.
— I don't want you to sacrifice your life for me like my sister — his hand rested on hers, both of them ignoring the fact that they were basically rubbing blood on the brunet's face.
— It's not a sacrifice, don't be silly, it's a gateway to a world of new opportunities. Just think of how many articles we can publish with an immortal life! With pseudonyms over the centuries, of course — the redhead's eyes even gleamed at the mere thought, making Serpens smile unconsciously. He loves to see her happy.
The black-haired one started to approach Scamander (as much as it was a kind of personal entertainment to watch her as she rambled on, it was almost impossible not to be tempted by Letty's blissful expression), already having the support of her hand on his cheek, but before he reached the girl's lips his body stopped. Tense, already knowing what was to come.
Lettice didn't even have time to say anything before Serpens collapsed to the ground in front of her, spasming violently. He screamed in pain, scratching the floor with his short nails as if he would somehow ease the suffering. His clothes began to burn and, as a result, holes appeared, revealing wounds in his pale skin. The boy was being burnt from the inside out.
The ravenclaw didn't know what to do. She read a lot, but nothing came to mind on how to help a person being relentlessly electrocuted. She regretted at the time that hadn't volunteered in the Hospital Wing (that's assuming Madam Pomfrey would know how to handle this situation). The redhead threw herself to the ground, probably scratching her bare knees, and screamed for help. It wasn't wise to touch someone being electrocuted, it's a fact, but her hands began to act on their own. They slowly approached the slender body but, when were within a millimeter of touching it, the four remaining Lehnsherr-Black heirs stormed into the room.
It happened very fast. One second she was kneeling on the floor, about to be electrocuted, and the next Phoenix was pulling her up, stopping her from doing such a stupid thing. Orders sounded through the room, but everything was spinning. She could feel someone – presumably Crux – cover her shirtless torso with a leather jacket and drag her across the dorm in a hurry.
— Get her out of here. Now! — Lupus' voice was booming, like thunder, but maybe it was just the ravings of someone about to faint.
— Don't delay. I'm going to need your help with these woun- — Aquila stopped mid-sentence. That wasn't a good sign — His heart stopped! — and that was the last thing Lettice heard before she passed out in Crux's arms, feeling herself being teleported to who knows where.
Oh, damn, they fucked up.
#serpens lehnsherr-black#lettice scamander#oc#oc's#random#angst#lydia martin#stiles stilinski#harry potter#wizarding world#potterhead#teen wolf#regulus black#the noble and most ancient house of black#stiles stilinski fic#stiles stilinski fanfiction#scamander#scamander family#black family#the noble house of black#prompt#hogwarts#dylan o'brien#holland roden
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I got an anon the other day asking me for my opinion on the depp/heard case and I just ignored the message bc I didn't feel like having that discussion but honestly I wanna talk about something personal regarding my past experience with abuse so you'll understand why I haven't responded to your question, and what biases I hold on the subject
Tw every kind of abuse tw drugs etc
Tldr; my opinion is biased, personal, complicated, and should not matter to anyone in the slightest
He was seriously mentally ill, diagnosed bipolar/depression or smthn I'm not sure,, but only bc he was able to manipulate the doctors (and bragged about it later) into diagnosing him with something that would get them to give him the drugs he wanted (xanax) so he could snort the entire bottle along with a months worth of vicodin in the span of a few days. For the periods of time he was drugged up he mostly slept. And once he was out of drugs he'd wake up pissed and take it out on us. That was his cycle. He would come into my room and torture me in whatever way he felt like at the time. Accuse me of stealing his money, keys, phone, drugs, food, anything just to have a reason to scream at me or make me take my clothes off so he could beat me with his leather belt/buckle. Or hit the bottoms of my feet with a hammer, so no one would see any bruises on me at school. He would starve us, keep us awake all night, and then make us run laps around the property until we collapsed. He called us fat stupid and lazy the whole time, among other more disgusting things.
My dad beat me severely from the age of 8 to 17 (when he died). He also abused me verbally, emotionally, psychologically and sexually. My therapist called what he did to me "torture". He did the same thing to my little sister and my mom to a lesser degree.
He was also the most manipulative person I've ever met but I saw through every lie he ever told. To his mom, to my mom, to his friends, to my friends and their parents, to strangers, doctors, cops, every person he ever met. He always got his way. Tricked ppl into thinking it was their way.
When I turned 14 I started fighting back. I had a mouth by then and I was tired of living in fear of him. I was also suicidal and I wanted to die protecting my mom and sister. So the beatings became all out brawls. He would hit me with anything he could grab and I would do the same. A desk chair. Computer monitor. He literally chased me with an axe once but I ran away from home, by that time I had a gf that lived in the neighborhood I could escape to her house when it got bad. When I came back the next day the axe was stuck in the tv and he was gone for the time being. He threw a machete at me (it was dull af but left a giant bruise on my leg). I broke a hotsauce bottle on his head. He almost choked me to death against a wall but my gf hit him in the back of the head with my skateboard. He let go of me and turned to her and I literally saw red and don't remember what happened. When I became aware again we where in the front yard and he wasn't unconscious but like dazed I guess. My gf said I went berserk I jumped on him beating him in the head and like dragged him to the door and threw him out down the stairs. He called his mom to come get him and I didn't see him for a few days which was normal. Those were all separate incidents and there were literally countless others I can't think of rn and don't care to.
He told us if we ever called dcf or the police he would burn our house down and he was not lying. He eventually died of a heart attack my senior year of high school.
To his mom and sister (my only other family bc he wouldn't let us see my mom's side) I was the problem child. I was disobedient and deserved whatever punishment I got and should be grateful it wasn't worse. My mom was the only one in our house that worked so she was never there. No one was there to see how everything really went down, that he instigated every interaction between us and I hid from him in my room 24/7 unless I was protecting my little sister.
So if you want my opinion on this trial you have to understand that I'm coming into this HEAVILY BIASED. Yes I have seen quite a bit of the trial bc my sister is super into it, she finds it cathartic. And shes been watching it on the TV in our living room so I've seen a lot but not nowhere near all of it.
From what I have seen it's incredibly obvious to me who the aggressor is. I say aggressor and not abuser bc idk how I feel about that word in this context.
I absolutely assaulted my father. Almost every day for 4 years. But it was in self defense or in defense of another. But you might say some of it was just retaliation? Where is the line? Does that make me an abuser? I dont believe so but I'm not a lawyer. If it's just a question for couples, if he and my mom went to court how could they prove that she never hit him unprovoked? If she admitted to hitting him would that be enough to charge HER with domestic violence?
Idk if I was an abuser but I can tell you that I most certainly was NOT the aggressor.
And when I look at amber heard I see my father reincarnated. If DARVO was a person. Everything down to her microexpressions. I haven't seen the whole trial because watching her testify or even just watching her reacting to other testimony drives me up a fucking wall. Her smirks. Her tone of voice. It's fucking UNCANNY. I agree with Dr curry's diagnoses of her. I have seen her commit perjury like 4 different times. It's been said in court that ah co-opted her sa story from another woman, what the literal fuck. The audio recordings. The lack of photos of her allegedly *broken noses* that she never went to the doctor for?????and covered up with makeup?????? He wears big ass fucking rings like brass knuckles and she's supposed to be covering this shit with make-up and there are no photos. Her face would have been a bloody. Fucking. pulp.
If johnny ever did hit her back I couldn't even blame him, bc that would make me a hypocrite. And I can't say that I 100% believe he never did, bc honestly when you live with someone like that it becomes an impossible situation. Even the most docile ppl have their breaking points. We're human beings. But I do believe amber would have taken believable photos of her injuries if she ever had any, but I haven't seen one that didn't look fake. And in complete contrast to ah, Jd seems docile and the type to run from confrontation. And i don't believe johnny depp is that good of an actor. Neither of them are. I'm not saying he should win his case against her bc its a weird burden of proof thing like it's a defamation case. But I think most everyone who's been following it believes his case over hers. And for me it has nothing to do with gender idgaf I know a lot of ppl on this app would call me a misogynist for not "Believing all women" but I can't help what conclusions I come to from the evidence in front of me.
My abuser was a man and he acted EXACTLY like amber heard has in court whenever he was confronted with his own actions. Johnny depp admits to the drugs, name calling etc freely and amber has admitted to NOTHING that would hurt her public image.
If either had stood up and said yes they hit me and sometimes I retaliated I would believe it. But the one who admits to nothing is probably fucking lying imo
All I see when I look at her is DARVO DARVO DARVO. He told her he wanted a divorce and she retaliated.
Could I be COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG and have it totally backwards? I'm being manipulated by depps amazing legal team? Of course that's possible, idk these ppl and I admittedly haven't seen the whole trial. When the whole thing started I went into it believing amber 100% bc I will always side with the person coming forward first. And I literally didn't know shit about either of them as people before this, didn't even know they were married, last I heard amber was a lesbian, bc I don't rly follow celebrities like that. I've done a total 180 in a month.
Does my personal story make you see me as a violent monster? Or do you think I was brave for sticking up for myself? Is that only bc it was a child/parent relationship? Or bc I'm female and my abuser was male?
As an abuse victim who fought back I cant say that violence is never acceptable, I just can't. But instigating violence for the sake of violence is abhorrent and triggering to me.
Even though in my humble opinion amber was the physical aggressor, jd was the one retreating, and they were both verbally abusive, I know that I'm biased and I can't possibly know for certain what actually went down. But I see myself in jd and I see my dad in amber. My sister and mom both say the same thing.
If my opinion makes you uncomfortable you can unfollow me if it matters that much to you, I get it, but this is the first and last thing I'll ever post on the matter. Sorry if it's not super coherent. I'm not debating my own experiences and I'm not arguing about ah/jd with anyone so don't bother xoxo
#tw everything#extremely personal please do not reblog#if this bothers you dont read it#i just didnt want to feel like im hiding how i feel from yall#im sorry anon that i didnt answer sooner
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if i ever write a story where jet is dead, punch me
#it was probably a mistake#just writing a story about death and this popped into my head like...#never#i will never write a story where jet dies#HE WAS SIXTEEN IN THE SHOW WHAT THE HELL BR*KE#SIXTEEN#AND HE WASN'T A BAD PERSON???#he was TRAUMATIZED#he literally saw his parents die. he saw them be burned to death#for some reason a large part of this fandom hates katara and jet for their coping mechanisms and that's so sickening#sure...he shouldn't have tried to flood a village#and yes he shouldn't have manipulated aang and katara#we all KNOW that's bad#but we don't focus nearly enough on the fact that he had no one to tell him that was bad#i mean zuko had iroh and he still did stupid shit#*sighs* teenage boys#but jet had no one to guide him! no one to be his moral compass!#he WAS the leader#and i mean all these kids were following him and they loved him so in his head he had to be doing something right#also YEAH he was literally a dad to twentysome kids at the age of sixteen??#he raised them fed them built a safe strategic home for them#and he does not get enough appreciation for that#imagine if sokka katara and aang had taken jet with him#(after slapping him a bit bc katara's anger was righteous)#but like. imagine#atla jet#jet#you deserved a better ending than death :(#wow ig i'm really in my jet feelings this morning hm
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john abused both dean AND sam, just differently. in this essay i will
prove that the abuse manifested in different ways for each of them because that’s how abuse works in real life. this is based on the fact that john saw dean as mary’s surrogate but once he found out about the deal and sam having demon blood he blamed sam for her death. ok let’s fucking go
dean as mary’s surrogate
there are loads of parallels made between dean and mary in early season spn and late season spn. in season 12 dean directly calls himself sam’s mother, but even earlier than that we see him doing the cooking and child rearing. compare that to all the parallels made between sam and john (both of them losing their blonde woman significant others in a ceiling fire) and it’s clear that dean was meant to more resemble mary. it’s not a stretch to say that if we can see it as viewers this is how john saw it in his actual life. i do think john loves dean for being dean but he loves him more for being mary.
sam as the reason behind mary’s death
i think once john learned that sam had demon blood, some part of him must have always been waiting for the other shoe to drop with sam, not ever fully believing this kid was human, and maybe not even knowing if this kid was HIS. a popular theory back in the day was that YED fathered sam (something they had to actually address in season 4 to stop the speculation), and if WE speculated that hard, surely john must have too. i’m sure he loves sam as an extension of mary, and keeps and raises and protects him BECAUSE he’s mary’s, but similarly (or maybe inverse) to dean, i don’t know if he ever fully gave himself permission to love sam for being sam. in fact, i imagine john harbors a lot of self-loathing for failing to save mary. if we directly parallel john and sam, that means by some extent he would also hate sam.
john trusted dean with far too much, and sam with far too little
dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. dean had memories of their mother and the night she died, and shared that trauma of watching her die with john; sam didn’t. dean knew when john was supposed to be home and who to call if he wasn’t; sam didn’t. dean was given the money and the guns and the CAR ITSELF; sam wasn’t. dean was taught to drive; SAM WASN’T.
dean was expected to do everything john was supposed to have been doing in his absence - he was to be a mother and father to sam, he was supposed to protect sam from evil, he was supposed to see to sam’s meals and homework and getting to school on time. and he was put under an EXTRAORDINARY amount of pressure not to screw this up even a little bit, despite the fact that he was only a kid. sam on the other hand was kept on a strict need-to-know basis for his entire life, right up until season 1 when they reunite at last. john didn’t trust sam with ANYTHING, and sam knew it. this contributed to his lifelong anger issues because he didn’t DO anything to warrant that kind of mistrust and probably got gaslit about it a lot of times either by john himself or dean (unknowingly, by parroting/believing the things john said). even in the pilot sam says very casually of his mother “she’s gone,” because her memory doesn’t hold the same place of reverence for him - best guess is that john didn’t talk about her much to sam because he didn’t trust sam with emotional stuff either. in s14 we learn that dean was the one who told sam stories about mary, including her terrible casserole - and their attempt at recreating it infuriated john to the point of him throwing the entire concoction in the trash.
john relied on dean for everything, and refused to rely on sam for anything
canonically dean was the one who comforted john after a bad hunt, looked after and fed his brother when john wasn’t around. dean knew how to use a shotgun; sam didn’t. dean knew who to call in an emergency; sam didn’t. dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. this was done under the guise of “protection for sammy” but turn it around and it’s also protection FROM sammy. think of how angry john gets when he learns sam has been having psychic visions. he’s not just angry that dean didn’t report it to him, he’s angry that the demon’s plans for sam are coming to pass, and that sam is becoming less human. again, he can’t TRUST sam if sam’s not human, and it proves to john that he was right all along to keep sam in the dark as much as possible.
john gave dean too much freedom, and sam no freedom at all
“watch out for sammy.” sam was under constant supervision by either dean or john; john made sure of it. again, it’s protection FOR sam but also protection FROM him, in case he did something inhuman or evil. dean on the other hand was left alone without any supervision at all for days or even weeks at a time - he resorts to stealing bread and peanut butter and (according to jackles) turning tricks for money. he had to make it work and got up to whatever the fuck he wanted when john wasn’t looking. sam had to LITERALLY run away from home before he got the simple pleasure of eating pizza and having a dog by himself, independently. dean was given too much independence and freedom but sam was kept on such a short leash he had none at all.
john made dean feel unworthy, and he made sam feel unclean
when dean fails to protect sam from the shtriga in the season 1 flashbacks, he says his dad looked at him differently after. he also implies that john physically beat him when sam ran away in flagstaff. whether he meant to or not, john made it abundantly clear that his love for dean was not unconditional; it depended very much on how well dean performed the multitude of tasks john assigned him. dean grew up believing that his only worth was in what he could do for other people. he demonstrates this an an adult over and over and over, from letting his possessed family members beat him up to refusing to take care of his own needs, emotional and otherwise, and snapping at people who try to talk to him about his own feelings.
on the other hand, sam talks in season 8 about how even at a very young age he felt impure and unclean, even before he knew that he had demon blood, even before he knew that there was any such thing as monsters. kids aren’t stupid, and sam picked up on the vibes john was putting off - that john didn’t trust him, might not have loved him, and might not have considered him human or even his own child. without even knowing why, he spent his entire life feeling unclean and inhuman, not worth of being loved by his own family. even dean, who we all know loves sam unconditionally, admits in season 14 that he often took dad’s side on arguments because he had “his own stuff,” further leading to the alienation that was sam’s constant companion growing up.
AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY:
JOHN’S ABUSE PITTED SAM AND DEAN AGAINST EACH OTHER
john saved dean after their shared trauma of mary’s death. dean says in season 1 that the reason he stopped talking was that he was scared. iirc john’s journal implies he was mute for over a year, and dean in season 2 says that when he was 6 or 7 his dad took him shooting for the first time. if mary died just before dean’s fifth birthday, the timeline works out to dean talking again because john took him shooting. i believe that dean hero worships his father because after mary’s death, and dealing with the terror that something like that could come in and take his family away by killing them horribly at any time without any warning, john learning to fight back against the darkness - and teaching dean to do the same - is what gave dean his voice again. BOTH of them saw and carried the memory of mary burning on the ceiling for the rest of their lives. “watch out for sammy” and “get the thing that killed mom” were dean’s reasons to get up in the morning, because they were john’s reasons to get up in the morning. these things were LITERALLY his reasons for living. john gave dean a way to fight back against fear and gave him a cause to keep him going. abuse or not, dean never stopped being grateful for that, and he was the only other person in the whole world who understood the unique horror of what john went through that night. even all the way into season 10, he tells other people that john did right by him. it’s borderline brainwashing. part of dean’s self-worth will always be based on how good of a son he was to john.
on the other hand, knowingly or not, john did everything possible to alienate sam. he kept him on a short leash while also keeping him at arm’s distance. he didn’t trust sam with emotional things like the memory of mary, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about monsters and what they did for a living, he didn’t trust sam with his plans, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about demon blood. canon STRONGLY suggests john knew YED bled in sam’s mouth as a baby, but instead of telling sam or even dean about that, sam had to learn about it in a horrible flashback recreated by YED himself. when sam wanted to go to school, john told him no, and when he left anyway, john told him not to come back.
this is an equal but opposite kind of abuse. john totally fucked up BOTH his kids in complete inversions to each other.
which means that, no matter what john did, it caused sam and dean to fight. this isn’t an interpretation. this is straight up canon.
again, dean says in s14 that he frequently took dad’s side in arguments because he had his own stuff to deal with, and he was trying to keep the peace. dean, a victim of emotional (and implied sometimes physical) abuse himself, was not able to shield sam from all of john’s bullshit. he could stop sam from getting hit and having to see john during the worst of his drunken rages, but he couldn’t trick sam into thinking john loved him unconditionally, because john didn’t love either of his kids unconditionally.
when john acted in a way that was not befitting of a parent, sam rightfully took exception, which forced dean (who was ALSO BEING ABUSED, almost brainwashed) to jump to his defense. that led to john getting to do whatever the hell he wanted and sam and dean arguing about the effects. when sam ran away in flagstaff, DEAN was punished, leading dean to resenting sam for that incursion, even though sam was perfectly right to want to get away from an abusive household. when sam did a normal thing wanting to leave for college at age 18, he left, and dean resented him for that because that meant he was alone to bear the brunt of john’s anger.
sam repeatedly made logical, emotionally healthy choices in attempting to break the family dynamic, but because of JOHN’S BEHAVIOR, not sam’s, those choices wound up causing dean harm. JOHN HIMSELF was the ultimate wedge between sam and dean growing up and beyond.
and let’s not forget the biggest sin - john spent 22 years impressing upon dean that taking care of sammy was EVERYTHING, and then without any explanation at all, he asked dean to kill him, and then he DIED, which meant dean had to carry that weight by himself (because again, he’s been trained not to trust sam with things). like of COURSE sam got angry when he found out - that’s fucking fucked up! once again sam is being treated like a ticking time bomb for absolutely no reason - he didn’t ask to have demon blood or psychic visions or a dead mom or an abusive father. nor did dean ask to be saddled with the upbringing of an entire human at four years old who he then might have to kill. because dean will always feel gratitude towards john, and sam will always feel resentment, and because based on john’s treatment of them BOTH OF THESE FEELINGS ARE JUSTIFIED, john continues to cause fights between sam and dean long after he’s dead and gone, and that will never change.
on a final note: i’d like to bring this around to season 13.
after cas, mary, kelly, and crowley all die (or are presumed dead in mary’s case) in the season 12 finale, season 13 opens with nobody but sam and dean and jack. dean directly blames jack for these deaths. he says so multiple times. he says where jack can hear him that he knows jack is evil and impure and cannot be saved and calls jack a freak. when jack tries repeatedly to kill himself dean says to jack’s face not to bother, because WHEN jack does go bad, dean will be the one to kill him. dean does NOT see jack as castiel’s child - he sees jack as someone who brainwashed cas and kelly both and got them killed. dean does not even see jack as a human person worthy of life. from the get-go, all he wants is to put jack down. jack is born into a world shaped by pain and grief and anger, where people hate him simply for what he is and who died to get him here.
and again, sam identifies hard with jack. he justifiably protests dean’s treatment of him. jack is a kid and didn’t ask for any of this. jack is terrified of dean. sam reminds dean that john said all these things about sam that dean is saying about jack. john is still causing a rift between his sons over a decade after his death.
eventually, after jack uses his powers and brings back cas from the empty, dean pulls his head out of his ass and admits that he was wrong. he calls jack his kid more than once, and jack refers to dean as one of his dads. but the damage has already been done. jack struggles multiple times with his powers, accidentally hurting people and then wishing himself dead after. he also struggles without them; even when using his powers means using up pieces of his soul, he does it, because dean taught him that he’s only worthy of being loved and trusted if he’s “good.” even when he has NO SOUL, when jack does something bad he panics about it and seeks to undo it at any cost. that’s how deep the damage runs.
i see a lot of people remarking that in the arc of 13.01-13.05, dean became john, and i agree that he did. but dean didn’t do to jack what john did to him. dean did to jack what john did to SAM.
[spn masterpost]
#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#john winchester#jack kline#liz watches spn#liz's meta#liz's spn stuff#YES YOU CAN REBLOG THIS PLS DO I WORKED HARD ON IT.#WHEW. glad i got that off my chest#this is why u can't call it the widow arc#sam revisited a WHOLE childhood of trauma here#the arc is about all of them!!!!!#backtagging to add#broken road#brcu
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𝐈𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐬 ↠ 𝐋.𝐓𝐘
pairings: icarus!taeyong x female reader
wc: 20k
genre: greek mythology au, fluff, angst.
warnings: death scene by drowning, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of greek gods, talks of resurrection, major character’s death. (if i forgot anything please tell me)
summary → “his reckless behaviour is a lesson that’s taught to everyone around the world, parents scare their kids with his story, he was just a boy back then, yet, he never knew he was the moral of this tragic story, the boy who died because he flew too close to the sun.”
icarus playlist.
taglist: @junjungsunwoo @inseongsfoxybae @lovelyjungwoo98 @ariesserpent @jeonghannieangel @hanniihae410 @keoyaa97 @ksofthours
polyagapiménos → a greek word for darling
a/n: happy birthday to our best boy, lee taeyong💗 i literally spent 10 months writing this fic, it became one of my personal favourites, please appreciate my hard work by giving me feedback and reblogs so it reaches bigger audience. this is my way to celebrate bubu’s birthday, i hope you enjoy the fic. thank you. 💖
Crete, 12th century B.C.
Soaring above Crete, on wings made from wax and feathers, Icarus, the son of Daedalus, defied the laws of both man and nature, ignoring the warnings from his father, he rose higher and higher. To witnesses on the ground, he looked like a god, and as he peered down from above, he felt like one too. But, in mythological ancient Greece, the line that separated god from man was absolute, and the punishment for mortals who attempted to cross it was severe. Such was the case for Icarus and Daedalus.
Daedalus could only watch in horror as Icarus ascended higher and higher, powerless to change his son’s dire fate. When the heat of the sun melted the wax on his wings, Icarus fell from the sky, just as Daedalus many times had ignored the consequences of defying the natural laws of mortal men in the service of his ego, Icarus was also carried away by his own hubris.
“Icarus!”
A scream erupted from the father, as he watched his son fall from the sky, his artificial wings dissolved, Icarus kept flapping his wings but soon realised that he had no feathers left and that he was only flapping his featherless arms, he was holding onto the wood where the feathers were once placed for dear life. He knows he should’ve listened to his father, he shouldn’t have flown too close to the sun.
He was scared, he grew confident, no, overconfident, he was overwhelmed by the idea of flying, the ecstasy of freedom, and the feeling the air, he was touching the clouds, it gave him a godly feeling... He felt as if he was a god, and that was what boosted his confidence, and overcome with the feeling of divine power that came with it, he ignored his father’s frequent warnings, but now he was paying for it. He shouldn’t have flown too close to the sun.
Icarus fell into the sea, he didn’t know how to swim, and as a result, the water entered his lungs filling them, and he felt as if they were burning. He was scared of the idea of dying, he was still young, he shouldn’t die because of the first mistake he made, he was young and supposed to be learning from his mistakes not dying because of them. He tried to return to the surface, but it was all in vain, he saw his own life flashes before his eyes, unfortunately, it was short, soon enough he let himself go letting the darkness consume him, with one thought on his mind.
He shouldn’t have flown too close to the sun.
***
Heracles carried the young man’s body as he went to bury him in the tomb he erected. Heracles looked down at Icarus whose body had gone pale and his hair lost the shining it held, He was doubting if he should bury him and just go on his way, or take him to his father... Zeus.
He pitied the boy, he was young, he was reckless, and he was just living the life of youth, all the kids around his age were like him. Unfortunately, his story was going to be legendary, parents are going to teach their kids to listen to them or else they will end up like Icarus.
The boy who should’ve listened to his father and didn’t fly close to the sun.
Heracles stopped when he heard a movement coming from between the bushes, he whipped around ready to fight whoever stood in his way, but instead, he saw a woman in a hood looking at him, and he knew from that moment, this woman was a witch.
He put the body he was carrying a moment ago on the ground and looked at the woman with fire in his eyes. “What do you want?” he asked.
“Ah, no need to worry about me, I mean no harm. I’m here to tell you that Hades is looking for this boy.” she replied and Heracles looked at her wide-eyed.
He knew better than not to trust witches, but he knows what his uncle was capable of, this boy had already faced a tragic ending, he doesn’t need to witness another one. Debating what to do, he turned to the witch once more and asked her.
“What should I do then?”
The witch smiled and replied before disappearing into the darkness. “Take him to your father, give the boy another chance.”
.
.
.
Seoul, 21th century CE.
Looking at the sun as if it took something precious from him, he didn’t understand how could people love something that can be so dangerous, sure it gives them light and warmth, but it can also destroy anything that comes too close to it... Even if you look at it for a while, you lose your eyesight.
“Taeyong? What are you doing here?”
He heard a soft voice calling him, he tore his eyes away from the sun and turned to look at the woman he loves with all of his heart.
He smiled and turned around again and replied, “Watching the sunset.”
You looked at him in amusement and went to stand next to him, he held your hand as he looked at the sun with the same gaze he was looking at earlier.
“Well, if I’m correct, my vampire of a boyfriend hates looking at the sun,” you said as he let out a chuckle wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
“Just because I dislike the sun, doesn’t mean I’m a vampire!” he said whining playfully causing your smile to widen.
“Maybe you’re right, I mean, it’s not like you bite me or anything,” you said sighing dramatically, and he smirked mockingly.
“But I do bite you sometimes,” he said causing you to blush and look ahead of you, Taeyong smiled seeing you so flustered like this.
Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to Taeyong, he was unfortunate almost all his life, as if he was cursed, he can’t go to a place where people wouldn’t stop looking at him, you assured him many times that it was because he was too handsome, but he disagrees. He thinks it’s like people are judging him, and he doesn’t know for what exactly, he was pretty normal, or maybe that was what he convinced himself to think. When he was young, Taeyong felt different from the other kids his age, he remembers when his parents first took him to the beach when he was six years old, he remembers how he cried upon seeing the water, yelling and begging for his parents to get away from it.
But then you came, his new coworker, and it was like all the abnormalities in his life vanished the moment he set his eyes on you, you were like a blooming rose in the middle of a dead field, you gave life to everything around you, he was captivated by your beauty, it was from another world, he was sure you were an angel, even the way you acted with people around you, either they were friends or strangers, you were kind and always held a smile on your face, and was very delicate with the delicate things.
It took him a lot of time to approach you, he thought if he walked up to you asking you on a date, you were going to laugh at him and tell him that you had a boyfriend. But the opposite happened, you greeted him with a smile and told him that you had no problem with going on a date with him, and since then, romance blossomed between the two of you until he finally asked you to be his girlfriend which made you over the moon.
Taeyong treated you with nothing but love, he treated you like you were the most delicate flower, he was always so affectionate with you and made sure that you feel loved and happy all the time, he was also super supportive of you, and when you achieve something or impress your employers at work, he would sit with a smile on his face and feel his heart swell with love, and he may or may not boast about it to his coworkers and friends.
“Did Johnny tell you about the new location of the wedding?” you asked causing your boyfriend to look at you smiling and nodded.
“Yes, he called me yesterday, I’m really happy for him,” Taeyong answered as his mind drifted back to when he witnessed his friend proposing to his girlfriend, and how he was over the moon when she agreed to marry him. He also wishes for the same future with you, it was no secret that Taeyong wanted to marry you, you were the only woman he pictured as his wife and the mother of his children.
“Yeah, me too,” you said as you took Taeyong’s hand in yours, giving him comfort from the anxiety that overcome his body.
Taeyong gave no reaction but nodded, he felt uneasy travelling to another country, he didn’t understand why Johnny had to travel to another country to hold his wedding when he could’ve held it in their country where everyone would be able to attend. He can easily apologize to Johnny for not going to the wedding and avoid travelling, but he knows how his friend is going to be let down by the news, and he didn’t want to disappoint Johnny because he was scared.
“Yuri told me that she was the one who suggested holding the wedding in Icaria, she wanted to do something different,” you paused when you noticed the troubled look on Taeyong’s face and asked, “Taeyong? Darling, are you okay?”
He didn’t answer you right away, it seemed as if he had trouble speaking, he was doubting if you would understand what he was feeling, but he knew that you would never judge him, quite the opposite, he knows you were going to make sure to help him until he felt better.
Your eyes held nothing but pure concern for your lover, you were worried about him, you know he could be weird at times, despite that, you loved him unconditionally. You held his hand, noting that they were sweating and you were sure it wasn’t from the weather. You watched as he took a deep breath before looking at you once again, his eyes held doubt and vulnerability.
“I’m scared... The idea of travelling to another foreign country makes me anxious, I know I’m being irrational, but it scares me so much, I sometimes feel like the idea is suffocating me as if it wants me dead. But I have to, if I don’t go Johnny is going to be disappointed, he’s counting on me Y/N, and I can’t let him down.” Taeyong confessed, looking everywhere but your eyes.
You sighed hugging him, he hugged you back tightly, the familiar feeling of comfort and relief filled him, he felt like the mountain of worries he held on his shoulders had been lifted by your simple touch, and that’s another reason why Taeyong loves you so much. You ran a hand through his hair soothing him completely.
“Hey now, it’s okay, I’m with you, you don’t have to worry about anything as long as I’m around,” you whispered and he hummed contently causing you to smile. You didn’t let go of him until he pulled away first, you always made sure he was okay before starting to talk to him about his problem.
“Taeyong, polyagapiménos,” you said and he closed his eyes smiling upon hearing the pet name, you continued, “I know that travelling to another country scares you and you have every right to be... If I’m being honest, I’m scared too, but I know that it’d be alright because I have you with me, and that’s all that matters.” he rested his forehead against yours affectionately, as he closed his eyes in affection smiling slightly. “As long as we’ve each other, I don’t want anything else from the world. Think about this as a vacation for both of us, to have a break from all the work and stress we’re going through. What do you say?” you said and he opened his eyes looking at you.
Thinking about your words, they sent a wave of calmness through him, he needed words of comfort that made all his doubts go away, he didn’t want his fear getting in the way of his friendship with Johnny, he couldn’t lose him because the idea of flying terrified him. But, there you were, chasing away all his fears with your comforting words, he felt as if he was Atlas, the Titan who was responsible for bearing the weight of the heavens on his shoulders, but you, you were an angel who disobeyed Zeus’ orders and set him free because that was enough for his punishment.
Taeyong looked at you like you put the stars in the sky, he kissed your lips softly, you smiled through the kiss and ran your hand through his hair. His lips tasted so sweet, his lips were like a drug that you were addicted to, not only his lips but all of him, you could never get enough of him.
He pulled away smiling pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear and put his other hand on your cheek, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” he whispered and you smiled leaning into his hand kissing the palm of his hand.
“You don’t have to worry about that, I’m not going anywhere,” you promised and he smiled.
“Good, because I don’t plan on letting you go at all.”
.
.
.
In a place that looked like a castle, the roof was so high that no one could ever see its end, the walls were gold and beautifully decorated as if it was heaven itself. Then a very muscular man walked through the gates carrying a body. He lied the body he was carrying on the ground, the man sat on one knee and looked ahead of him.
“Heracles.”
He looked up to see an enormous man who looked at him with a small smile gracing his features, he looked human, but he sure wasn’t one.
“Father,”
“Long time no see, son.” His father said causing the son to smile.
“I know, I’m sorry. I came here with an issue.” Heracles started as his father nodded motioning for him to continue, “This boy... He was flying with his father to get away from King Minos, but he flew close to the sun and his feathers melted causing him to fell into the sea and drowned... I met a witch, and she told me that Hades is looking for him, and she ordered me to take him to you. She told me to give him another chance.” Heracles explained but Zeus didn’t seem phased.
“You do know that the boy thought of himself as a god when he was flying? His father thought that he could compete with the god’s powers... It was only a punishment for him to lose his son like that. Besides, I cannot interfere in Hades’ business, I gave him my word, this is an absolute rule I set, and even if I did allow this, he will never allow this to happen.” the father replied and his son looked at him pleadingly.
“Father, please, he’s just a boy, he was reckless, save him. He doesn’t deserve to be sent to Hades, please.” Heracles pleaded in pain, Heracles was feeling like that because he had a son who was almost the same age as him, and his son died. And he didn’t wish the same fate upon the boy he wanted to save desperately.
Zeus looked at him, a war igniting within him, he looked at Athena, who was sitting on her throne patiently, calm, and collected. Zeus sighed as he walked over to the boy who was lying on the ground of Olympus, Zeus looked at him and the broken wood where the feathers were placed, Zeus put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, and an incredible light shone from the back of his shoulder.
Heracles watched in amazement as his father stood over the dead boy, the broken woods were long gone, but a scar appeared on the back of both his shoulders, he sighed knowing that the way his father punished the boy for thinking about being a god, and also for being reckless.
Zeus stepped away from him and nodded at Hermes to take the body of the boy away, Heracles anxiously watched the boy being taken away by his half-brother. And Zeus turned around looking at Heracles and said.
“He shall have a second chance then.”
.
.
.
The sky was clear, the clouds were decorating it beautifully, the birds were flying away their wings making the most peaceful sound, the sound of freedom. Looking beneath him, he saw a man in his mid-fifties flying with his arms extended and he wore artificial wings, furrowing his eyebrows, he then noticed how his arms were also extended and he saw the artificial wings he also wore.
Feeling worried, he felt the sunlight hitting his face, he looked up and looked away immediately because the sun was right in front of him. He tried to fly away from it, but suddenly he saw the feathers falling off from his wings and his breath hitched in his throat.
“Icarus!”
He fell from the sky as his wings did earlier, he was falling fast and then closed his eyes the moment his body hit the water as he started drowning painfully.
***
Taeyong opened his eyes breathing heavily, his chest was heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath as if he finished running a marathon. Looking beside him, he saw you sleeping peacefully, he stood up not wanting to disturb your sleep. He went to the bathroom to wash his face to help him recover from the nightmare.
It was the same nightmare he has been getting ever since he decided that he was going to Icaria for Johnny and Yuri’s wedding. He didn’t know why this was happening, and he didn’t know why he also was getting this nightmare in particular. He took a deep breath as he splashed his face with the water, after a few seconds he wiped his face with the towel, and felt an ache in the blades of his shoulders.
Taeyong sighed in pain as he touched the part that was hurting him the most, he felt his hand touch something rough. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked into the mirror to see the scar that he didn’t know when he got it, and he also touched the same scar on the other shoulder.
Looking in the mirror, he saw you standing behind him rubbing your eyes cutely, Taeyong smiled and turned to look at you, taking your face between his hands.
“Darling? Why are you awake?” Taeyong asked, feeling bad for interrupting your sleep.
“I got scared when I didn’t see you next to me, so I came looking for you,” you explained and Taeyong smiled at your cuteness, bringing one of your hands up to his lips kissing it lovingly.
“I’m sorry, I just had a bad dream,” Taeyong said and you furrowed your eyebrows at his words. Taeyong avoided meeting your eyes, you gently put a finger under his chin, causing his head to rise, your eyes meeting his, you saw how vulnerable he was.
“The same nightmare?” you asked and he nodded sighing. “Do you think about it a lot? Maybe that’s why you keep on seeing the same nightmare...” you trailed and Taeyong shook his head.
“No, it’s not like that, I don’t try to think of it because I know it’s only going to affect me, I try to avoid it at any point... But it keeps on haunting me.” Taeyong explained his voice small and weak.
You sighed heavily trying to get his mind off the nightmare, but you didn’t know what to say. Taeyong turned back to the mirror and then looked at you asking.
“Do you feel anything? Here?”
You furrowed your eyebrows and touched the blade of his shoulder, you traced it delicately only to feel the pattern of the scar.
“No, it’s normal,” you replied and that made Taeyong more confused. He was wondering how you couldn’t feel the roughness that was inside his scar.
“Why do you ask though?” you asked again and he shook his head, “No reason, it’s just I was examining it... I don’t remember when or how I got it,” he replied and you smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry about it Yongie, you see this?” you said and lifted your leg, pointing at the scar that was on the inner of your thigh. “I grew up with this on my thigh, when I asked my mother she told me that was because my clumsy baby self burnt herself by accident. Maybe you should ask your parents,” you suggested and he bent down kissing your thigh.
“I will ask my mother, also you’re still beautiful, it makes you more attractive.” Taeyong winked and you blushed as he laughed hugging you close to his body.
.
.
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Unfortunately, the nightmares became more frequent which caused Taeyong to be more anxious, stressed, and scared. You tried to help him as much as you could, but you know nothing was helping. Taeyong before didn’t have a problem going out in the daylight, but now he’s scared to even open the windows. And his fear of heights was also getting worse, you didn’t what happened to him to be triggered like this, and you didn’t know how to help him anymore, so you decided to take this upon your shoulders and talk to someone you trust about it.
You walked inside the big building, and went to the receptionist, you approached her and she smiled at you politely. You smiled back and said.
“Hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N, and I have an appointment today.”
“Oh yes, please sit down for a few moments,” she answered and you nodded and went to sit down on the sofa that was seated there.
You sat and examined the place intently, you’ve never been here before, and you came only for the sake of your boyfriend, you wanted to help because you hated to see him defenceless like this. He wasn’t your Taeyong, he was always scared and paranoid, not living his life at the maximum, and you were both worried and sad.
“Fancy seeing you here, Y/N.”
You heard a voice speaking, you looked up to meet two soft, brown eyes, you smiled getting up and engulfing your adopted-brother in a hug and said.
“It’s been a long time, Doyoung.”
After a few seconds, Doyoung pulled away from you, as he led you to his office, he opened the door and let you inside as he took off his coat and sat on his chair. You smiled as your eyes fell upon the portrait that was placed on his desk.
“I can’t believe you still have this photo.” you chuckled as you took the picture tracing it and smiling fondly.
It was a photo of you, Doyoung, and your father. He was carrying both of you on his back as little you and Doyoung smiled widely at the camera. Doyoung loved his adoptive father so much, not only he saved his life when he was young, but he also never made him feel like he didn’t belong. Quite the opposite actually, your father even taught him all the things he knew, and he also inspired Doyoung to become a psychologist.
When your father brought Doyoung who was five years old at that time home, he was wrapped up in his jacket, but his hair was still wet from the rain, your three-old-self gave him your favourite blanket and plushie so he could feel better. From this moment, you two were inseparable.
“Of course I still have it, it was such a joyful moment, something to wipe away all the memories of him being in pain,” Doyoung muttered, and you sighed heavily, remembering all the sleepless nights you spent next to your ill father.
At the age of fifteen, you discovered that your father had a serious illness, and none of the doctors knew what was wrong with him, he had a rare disease and the chance of him surviving it was less than ten percent.
For six months, he was in indescribable pain, you always cried in your brother’s arms, his screams still haunting you till this day. Until one day, when you were coming back from school and entered the house, it was dead silent, you were confused, then you saw seventeen-year-old Doyoung, sitting on the chair, his eyes bloodshot red and he was sniffling. You knew then that you were never going to see your father again.
It was a hard time for you, you couldn’t move on from the fact that you were never going to see your father again, till this day, sometimes you miss him terribly and you cry all night, even Taeyong can’t help you if you ever miss him.
“Yeah... Anyways, how are you? And how’s your wife doing?” you asked and Doyoung smiled.
“I’m good, and Jiwoo is amazing too. How about you? I haven’t heard from you for almost a month, and also how’s your weirdo of a boyfriend doing?” Doyoung snorted.
“And this is exactly why I’m here,” you answered him and he looked at you waiting for an explanation.
You told him all about what was wrong with Taeyong and how weird he has been acting ever since he heard the news of the new location of Johnny and Yuri’s wedding. Doyoung listened closely as you spoke, noting every little detail that left your mouth.
It wasn’t strange for him, he already dealt with people almost worse than Taeyong, but he knew you wanted him to assure you that Taeyong was fine, and that was something he couldn’t fake.
After you finished telling the story, Doyoung stood up and went through the shelves looking for something, you didn’t say anything, just watched him silently. He came back with a book in his hand and some files which you assumed were researches.
Doyoung sat down on his desk and opened the first file, pushing it towards you and said.
“So, after what you told me, I think Taeyong’s phobias are pretty normal to me, sure phobias are irrational, but most people suffer from the same phobias. Such as the fear of heights and water, the abnormal one is his fear of the sun..” Doyoung trailed and he looked into your eyes pointing down at the file in front of you, you looked down and read the title.
“There has been a legend going around for a very long time, that our phobias are how we died of in our past lives. And if this legend is correct, then maybe Taeyong died because of the sun, or the water, or heights.” Doyoung explained and before you could say anything, he opened the next file.
“The same legend says that our dreams are our memories in our past lives. So, what’s Taeyong dream about?” he asked.
“He told me that, he dreams of falling from the sky, and someone shouting a name he couldn’t remember correctly, he also told me that every time he falls, he ends up drowning in the sea.” you shuddered at the image your mind created.
Doyoung sighed rubbing his temples, he looked troubled, in the beginning, it seemed like Taeyong’s case was simple, but it turned out to be difficult. He looked at you already coming up with a plan that he wasn’t going to tell you about.
“Frankly, I think these nightmares are just because of his fears, you’re saying these nightmares started ever since he learnt that he had to fly to attend his friend’s wedding, correct?” Doyoung asked and you nodded waiting to see what he was thinking.
“Then it’s simple, the news triggered his phobias, and because he knows he has to attend, he is thinking of all the worst scenarios that could happen to him once he sets his foot on the plane,” Doyoung concluded.
You looked at him amazed by how he seemed to have a solution for every problem, to say you were beyond proud of your brother was an understatement. Doyoung stood up and went to the small cupboard, he took out a small bottle and put it in front of you.
“What are these?” you asked.
“These are pills to help him during the time of the flight, you are going to need them. It’s going to be a living nightmare for Taeyong, so you have to be prepared for the worst, and these pills are serotonin reuptake inhibitors also known as SSRIs.” Doyoung explained as you took the pills from him.
He could sense you were a bit anxious which is understandable, but he didn’t want that, he knew what he was doing, you just needed some reassurance.
“Is it going to be that bad for him?” you asked referring to the pills, Doyoung sighed and nodded.
“Y/N, don’t worry, it’s completely fine as a human being who is about to face his phobia what he feels is normal. But I can assure you that these pills will help him greatly, and I want you to keep an eye on him on the plane, he might have a panic attack.” Doyoung said and you sighed.
To say you were skeptic would be an understatement, but decided to say nothing. You stood up smiling and hugging him, ready to leave.
“Thank you so much, Doyoung. I’ll leave now, sorry for bothering you and thanks for the free pills.” you said and he laughed patting your head.
“Don’t say that, and please visit me more often, you know your older brother would love to see his little sister more often.” Doyoung teased and you smiled nodding.
Once you left the office, Doyoung sat down again and started to look through the files again, stumbling upon the paper he was looking for. Grabbing his phone typing down the numbers, dialling it.
“Hello?”
“Kun, meet me in my office in thirty minutes and don’t be late.”
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Entering the airport, Taeyong felt anxious more than ever, the voices that echoed through the big speakers announcing the flights made him want to go back home. But he knows he can’t do that, he had already bought the tickets and promised Johnny and Yuri to attend the wedding, they were counting on him, and knowing Johnny, Taeyong knows that he needed him the most because that was a big step in his life and he wanted to make sure that his best friend was to witness this step and be there for him.
“Darling? Are you okay?”
Taeyong heard your soothing voice and he turned around his scared eyes meeting yours. You got anxious by the way he was looking at everything around him, doubting everything, you know he was scared because he was about to face his biggest fear... Flying.
“Yes, yes, it’s nothing,” Taeyong replied and you looked at him, not believing what he was saying.
“Yongie, it’s not too late to return home, the wedding doesn’t matter, you’re the only thing that matters the most to me. And if you’re not comfortable with flying, you could say the word right now and I would cut these two tickets in half.” you said sternly.
Taeyong looked at you like you were a goddess, he couldn’t believe how he managed to be with an angel like you. You always made sure that he was okay and comfortable with everything going around him, and you weren’t shy when it came to his comfort zone, if it meant not going to his best friend’s wedding, then so be it. You didn’t care as long as he was comfortable and happy.
Taeyong smiled softly kissing your forehead, you sighed leaning into his warmth, and he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.
“No love, we are going to this wedding, I can do this, as long as you’re with me I’m pretty sure I can face any fears.” he replied and you blushed slightly at his words but looked at him for confirmation and he replied with dragging you to check your luggage.
After an hour or so, you two got on the plane, Taeyong growing more anxious with every step he took towards the plane. When he set a foot on the plane he felt a shiver run down his spine, he ignored it though and sat down on his seat next to you.
When the plane took off, he closed his eyes as a feeling of nostalgia ran through his body, his mind flashed him some of the nightmares he had, his stomach was twisting as he remembered how he fell from the sky and drowned in the sea. He didn’t want the same fate he had in the nightmare, he didn’t want that to happen.
Taeyong could feel his breath quickens and seemed like he was about to have a panic attack, he felt dizzy and couldn’t breathe properly, he could feel as if his heart was going to stop any moment, the overwhelming fear of his phobia is taking the best of him.
You noticed how Taeyong was breathing heavily, you looked at him sadly and held his hand tightly. He squeezed it but didn’t dare to open his eyes, too scared and thought that if he opened them the plane would fall and he dies.
“Polyagapiménos... I’m here with you,” you whispered and kissed the smooth skin of his cheek. Then you took out the pills Doyoung gave you and opened the small bottle bottle and pressed two pills against Taeyong’s lips.
He was confused about what was this but didn’t dare to open his eyes, so you rubbed his hand comfortingly, “Those are some pills to help you overcome your fears, they’ll make you feel better.” you soothed.
Without hesitation, Taeyong swallowed them and took the water bottle from your hand, gulping the water as if it was going to calm his nerves.
After ten minutes, Taeyong breathed and opened his eyes as he looked at the opened window of his seat, he could see the clouds and he smiled at the sight, he saw the birds flying from below and his heart felt at ease. It felt like freedom and he wished to be like these birds, he wanted to feel free from all the things that ached his head. He wanted to be fearless.
All the calming feelings Taeyong felt disappeared when he saw the sun, it glowed greatly and its rays hit his face. His mind drifted back to his nightmare and how the sun always dissolved his wings and killed him. He closed the window quickly avoiding it and sighed deeply, he glared at the seat in front of him angrily imagining it the sun he was looking at earlier.
The pills you gave him looked like they had fast effectiveness because now it was like he was normal and didn’t fear anything, he was impressed by how well you handled the situation so well.
“Taeyong, are you okay now?”
He turned his head to your direction, his face softened when he saw you looking at him concerned, he smiled nodding.
“Yes darling, I’m better now,” he assured and you smiled and Taeyong took out his phone snapping a picture of you smiling.
“Hey! I wasn’t ready! I look ugly, Yongie!” you whined as you tried to take the phone from his hand but he was stronger than you and held you back.
“No, you don’t, my baby girl is always beautiful,” Taeyong said and you blushed hiding your face behind your hands. “By the way, how did you get these pills? And how did you even know they were going to work?” he asked and you smiled.
“I went to Doyoung and told him that we were flying for a wedding and you had fear of flying, so he told me to give you these pills because they’ll help,” you explained, half telling the truth because you didn’t want him to worry much.
Taeyong smiled softly as he took you in his arms cuddling you, in return, you wrapped your arms around his waist hugging him tightly. Taeyong was so tired after taking the pills, his eyelids were heavy as he tried hard not to fall asleep. Looking at him, you pressed a kiss to his cheek, drawing circles on his hand lovingly, whispering.
“Go to sleep baby, we have a long way ahead of us.”
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Ever since you arrived at Icaria, Taeyong didn’t feel homesick, quite the opposite actually, it was as if he returned home. He was so happy looking at Icaria with an adoring look on his face, and he could never forget the déjà vu that hit him when he saw a temple that he swore he saw it somewhere but he couldn’t remember when or where. You were happy that Taeyong was enjoying himself while the two of you explored Icaria a week before the wedding of Johnny and Yuri, you prepared a small picnic to a park that Taeyong knew nothing about, you wanted him to enjoy himself and his time to the maximum because it’s not every day he travels to new places.
Taeyong smiled when you dragged him in the park, sitting the huge basket down, you took out the blanket and he helped you spread it on the grass, you sat down and he followed, sitting across from you. You took out the lunch you made and the bottle of juice, you took a plate and started filling it with every piece of food you made for Taeyong who was staring at you intently. He smiled at the fact of how you take good care of him, you always made sure he eats well and was healthy and scolded him when he overworks himself and forgets to eat or drink water. Every night, he thanks his lucky stars that he found you, or god knows what could’ve happened to him.
“You’re doing it again,” you muttered and Taeyong snapped back to reality, smiling at you as if he was mocking you.
“Doing what?” he asked again and you sighed feeling shy under his gaze. Despite being with Taeyong for almost four years now, he never failed to make you flustered, it was as if he wants to see the blood rushing to your cheeks every time he says or does anything that makes you blush.
“You know exactly what, don’t you get tired of staring at me?” you asked handing him his plate, he sat it down and kissed your hand affectionately causing you to smile and your heart to melt as he answered.
“Never.”
The two of you started eating enjoying the weather and the sun, or rather you enjoying the sun because Taeyong was complaining about how the world would be a better place if it was just night with the moon and the stars illuminating the sky, and at least the weather wouldn’t be hot. You remembered the talk you shared with Doyoung and frowned. This could never be a phobia, Taeyong just strongly dislikes the sun, if he really had a phobia of the sun, he wouldn’t dare to go out in the sunlight. Also, the fact that you feel like Doyoung is hiding something from you makes you even more determined to know what’s the matter with your lover instead of being fed with lies.
“Love? Are you listening to me?”
You heard Taeyong ask you his voice soft and concerned, you turned to look at him and smiled not wanting him to be worried or anything.
“I’m sorry Tae, I zoned out, what were you saying again?” you asked and he looked at you in doubt but chose not to say anything.
“I was telling you about Johnny and Yuri, Johnny called me this morning and suggested we all go out for sightseeing tomorrow, what do you say?” he asked and you nodded.
“Sure yeah! I want you to enjoy your time the most, that’s what matters the most to me,” you said smiling and Taeyong grinned.
“Are you really trying to flirt with me right now?” he teased and you groaned sitting back and he just laughed. “You know, Y/N?” Taeyong said and you looked at him waiting to hear what he wanted to say.
“Yes, Yongie?”
“Ever since I stepped my foot inside this island, I felt so happy, like returning home after being away for a long time. It all seemed so familiar, and the breeze that blew when I exited the airport, it was as if the breeze was welcoming me for returning home. For the first time in my life, I feel like I belong somewhere. I feel like this is my home.” Taeyong said and you smiled, happy to hear such things coming out from his mouth.
You noticed this too, even if hadn’t been two days since you arrived in Icaria, but you did notice the change in Taeyong’s behaviour. He was more lively, he was playful, he wasn’t the same boy that looked troubled when he stepped inside the airport, but now it was all worth it, it really was amazing how much he changed into someone bright and happy, not the troubled one that always looked as if he was carrying the whole world on his shoulders. Taeyong was a happier and healthier version of himself.
“I’m so happy to hear that Yongie, you deserve nothing but happiness,” you said smiling softly and he stood up and sat down next to you, taking your hand in his he smiled at you saying,
“Thank you, thank you for everything, for being so patient with me and bearing with me through tough times, I don’t deserve you. But I’m willing to prove to you every day that I’m worthy of having you to myself. Thank you so much, Y/N.”
Taeyong planted a soft kiss on your lips and you smiled into the kiss pulling him closer to you, you had your hand on his cheek while his hands held your waist firmly. After a few seconds, you pulled away resting your foreheads against each other
“Don’t say that Yongie, if anything I don’t deserve you, you’re too good for me, but I can’t help it, I love you,” you said and he made a sound of disagreement hugging you.
“No, you’re good for me! Stop saying you aren’t! And I love you too, polyagapiménos, so much.” he whispered and you hugged him tightly.
You two continued your lovely picnic and after finishing the food, you packed your things and decided to take a walk along the streets of Icaria. You wanted to see the Temple of Artemis, but unfortunately, it was too late so you decided to explore the island more. You were shy under the gazes of the people who looked at you and Taeyong, they were looking at you with a smile on their faces admiring the love between you and Taeyong. You two were unaware of the pair of red eyes that were watching you, not knowing those pair of eyes were going to turn your life upside down.
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Heracles raced inside the temple where he was meant to meet Zeus who didn’t know what his son wanted of him. Heracles waited anxiously inside the temple until he saw an old man entering the temple, it was Zeus in disguise. Zeus watched his son running over to him, as the door closed giving them privacy to talk freely as they wished without anyone interrupting them. Zeus could see the troubled look on Heracles’s face, something was definitely wrong, he hopes it’s not about the rumours that are going around, this will unleash hell upon them.
“Son, what is that you wanted to speak to me urgently about?” Zeus asked with authority clear in his voice. Heracles looked at his godly father not knowing where to start or how to tell him the news which made Zeus even more anxious.
“He’s here, Icarus has returned once again.” Heracles declared as Zeus’ eyes widened in fear, the rumours were true after all, he should’ve known that. “Not this only, Hades knows of his arrival,” Heracles finished staring at the ground in shame.
Zeus looked at him and screamed in rage, causing a loud clap of thunder to interrupt the silence of the night. He stared at Heracles a million scenarios running through his head. His son failed at the task he said he would be responsible for, he gave the fallen boy time until he finally decided to resurrect him, on one condition, to be away from Greece and make sure he never knows what his past was. Zeus knows very well that he shouldn’t have resurrected him, he shouldn’t even have interfered in Hades’ business. His soul was meant to be in the underworld all these years, but he took his soul from the underworld giving him the chance of another life. But the damage is done already and he needed to think quick.
“I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning, you now understand what I meant when I said not to meddle in Hades’ business?! This is all because of you!” Zeus growled and Heracles didn’t dare to look at his father, he just listened to him. “How did you know about it?” Zeus asked once more his patience running out.
“Hermes, he received a message from Apollo,” Heracles replied and Zeus breathed deeply.
Hades will never let the boy go again, he would do whatever it takes to have his soul and take it back to the underworld where it was meant to be from the moment his body hit the sea. Zeus have to be quick, he needed to act before Hades, he had to reach the boy first before a war breaks out. Zeus looked at Hercules, having already made up his mind.
“Hades is not going to let him get away this time, we have to reach the boy before Hades does. Look for him, bring him to me. I will let Artemis talk to Moirai.” Zeus ordered and Heracles nodded and before he could leave the temple, the gates of the temples opened.
A man in his mid-twenties burst through the gates, he had black hair and creamy skin, he looked like he ran a marathon, his clothes and hair were messy. But he couldn’t be blamed, he has been flying around for two days and the news he has couldn’t be postponed nor it had to wait. He raced towards the god and the demi-god, bowing to his father.
“Hermes? What is it?” Zeus asked as the messenger of gods turned to look at Heracles first before darting his eyes anxiously to Zeus and told him the news they wished they didn’t want to hear.
“Hades, he found the boy.”
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You and Taeyong arrived in front of the hotel after a long night of wandering around Icaria. Your smile was wide the whole time you and Taeyong were walking hand in hand in the streets of Icaria, you also bought a lot of souvenirs for your friends. You bought Doyoung and his wife a nice souvenirs as well, you know how much Doyoung loves reading about ancient Greek and Greek mythology, so you bought him a book with the stories of the Greek gods and the Titans. As for Jiwoo, his wife, you brought her a necklace with Athena’s symbol to represent her wisdom.
Taeyong stopped when he saw a man that seemed a little familiar to him, his eyes widened when remembered where he saw this man, he saw him in his dreams. This couldn’t be a coincidence, Taeyong turned to look at you, “I have to do something very quick okay? Wait for me inside, I will be back.” he said before running along the streets trying to follow the man from his dreams.
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion but decided to wait for him inside the hotel and ask him later about what he had to do. Turning around, you hit a hard chest and tumbled backwards but a hand caught your arm and quickly pulled you back. You opened your eyes ready to thank whoever saved you from falling, and also apologise for bumping into them. Looking up, you saw a man that was around your age, he was Asian, tall and very handsome, he had black hair that was combed nicely away from his eyes that were a dark shade of brown.
“Are you alright, ma’am?” he asked in English and you looked at him smiling gratefully, slightly blushing.
“Yes, thank you so much. I’m sorry for bumping into you, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” you apologised and he smiled shaking his head.
“That’s alright. Are you here alone?” he asked and you shook your head.
“No, I’m here with my boyfriend, he is just doing something and will be back,” you replied and he nodded. The atmosphere turned a little awkward because he was still standing there and you were a little uncomfortable by it.
“I see, what brings you here to Icaria? I’m here for my friend’s wedding,” the stranger said and you looked at him shocked.
“Really? Funny, this is also why we are here, are your friends by any chance called Johnny and Yuri?” you asked and he nodded enthusiastically smiling.
“Yes, wait, you’re invited to their wedding too?” he asked and you smiled nodding. It didn’t surprise you to meet someone from the wedding here, this was the best hotel on the island and the man looked rich.
“Yes I am, My boyfriend and I are good friends with them, what about you?” you asked and he smiled again.
“I’m Johnny’s friend from the states, he is my best friend.” he said and you smiled shaking his hand.
“I never caught your name,” you asked and he smiled.
“My name’s Jaehyun,” he said and you smiled back.
“My name’s Y/N, nice to meet you Jaehyun,” you said and you were unaware of the wicked smile on his lips as he said.
“Trust me, the pleasure is all mine.”
***
Taeyong came back to the hotel, his shoulders slumped, he was disappointed, he did meet the man from his dreams and talked to him, but they couldn’t communicate because Taeyong doesn’t know any Greek. But from what he understood is that the man was a normal fisherman, after knowing this Taeyong apologised to him then left. Taeyong still couldn’t understand why he dreamt of this man, what did his dreams wanted him to know? He was so tired and just wanted to be normal, was that too much to ask?
Taeyong entered the hotel and saw you sitting with Jaehyun talking, Taeyong raised his eyebrow in jealousy and confusion not knowing who this man was and he doesn’t know how you know this man. His eyes met yours and he smiled when he saw your eyes light up as you walked over to him and hugged him tightly. He hugged you back kissing your forehead his eyes locked with Jaehyun to let him know that you belonged to him.
“Where did you go? I have been waiting for you too long,” you said slightly whining causing him to laugh softly at your cuteness.
“I’ll tell you when we go to our suite,” he replied then pulled away from you and looked at Jaehyun again. “Who is this you were talking to?” Taeyong asked and you looked back at the man sitting on the sofa playing on his phone.
“This is Jaehyun, he is a friend of Johnny from the states,” you replied and he furrowed his eyebrows, confused than ever.
“Johnny never mentioned him though,” Taeyong muttered under his breath as he walked over to the man wanting to know who he truly was. You stopped in front of Jaehyun who stood up smiling politely at Taeyong.
“Jaehyun, this is my boyfriend, Taeyong. Taeyong, this is Jaehyun, Johnny’s friend,” you said and Jaehyun held out his hand for Taeyong to shake.
“Hello, it’s very nice to meet you,” Jaehyun said smiling, Taeyong looked down at his hand not trusting him one bit. Jaehyun let his hand fall to his side, standing there awkwardly.
Taeyong studied his demeanour, he watched how he kept eye contact with him, Taeyong didn’t trust him, and he couldn’t understand why you believed him, he could be a killer for all he knows or someone dangerous. He didn’t like his aura at all, he seemed dangerous, he seemed like he couldn’t be trusted.
“Strange, Johnny never mentioned you,” Taeyong said, Jaehyun smiled slightly as you watched the tension grow between the two men.
“He didn’t mention you either,” Jaehyun replied looking at Taeyong up and down. “You can call him if you don’t trust me, go ahead, do it.” Jaehyun challenged causing Taeyong to glare at him.
Taeyong didn’t shy away from his offer, he took out his phone and dialled Johnny keeping eye contact with Jaehyun as he held you tightly close to him, afraid that if he blinked Jaehyun would hurt you. You looked at Taeyong who was bothered by Jaehyun’s presence, you rubbed his arm comfortingly trying to calm his nerves down. After another ring, Johnny finally picked up his phone.
“Hi, Taeyong! How are you, man?” Johnny greeted and you looked at Taeyong who was still staring at Jaehyun.
“Hi Johnny, listen quick question, do you know anybody that goes by the name Jaehyun?” Taeyong asked not wanting to wait another moment.
“Yeah, Jung Jaehyun, he is my friend from the states, he is staying at the same hotel you and Y/N are staying in, why? Did you meet him?” Johnny clarified and Taeyong watched a smile appear on Jaehyun’s lips as he took the phone from him.
“Hey man, your friend Taeyong here doesn’t trust me and needed confirmation, are you sure he is your friend?” Jaehyun said still looking at Taeyong.
“Hey Jae, yes he is my friend. Now, would you stop bothering me? Yuri is calling for me so we can continue watching the movie. If you want you could come with us sightseeing tomorrow what do you say?” Johnny asked and Jaehyun smiled satisfied.
“Sure why not, see you tomorrow.” Jaehyun said hanging up and gave the phone back to Taeyong. “Are you sure now? Nice to meet you again, Y/N.” Jaehyun said smiling at you then left to go to his room.
Taeyong relaxed the moment Jaehyun left you two, he turned to look at you and wrapped his arms around your shoulder kissing your cheek. You wrapped your arm around his waist, rubbing his back and he smiled at you. Despite Johnny confirming his doubts, he still couldn’t trust Jaehyun and didn’t intend on doing so.
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The two of you went to your room, you were changing your clothes while Taeyong sat on the bed deep in thought. You watched how he was staring into the distance with that troubled look you know on his face, something definitely happened, he was okay before he left to do whatever he wanted to do. Remembering this, you sat down on the bed and cuddled into Taeyong who wrapped his arms around your body out of habit.
“So, what was that thing you wanted to do before you left me at the hotel entrance?” you asked and Taeyong looked at you sighing deeply.
“I don’t know how this happened, but I saw a man from my nightmare, the one that always yells the name I can’t remember. I saw him and tried to talk to him but it was in vain for two reasons, the first one is because he doesn’t know English and the second one was unreasonable, he was a normal fisherman, but again, why would I dream of him?” Taeyong said sighing and you sat on his lap swiping his hair away from his face.
You know it was taking a toll on him, all of this what he was going through, you wished you could help him somehow, to take away his pain, to give him the happiness he deserves. Taeyong didn’t deserve to suffer, he is an angel, and life was being unfair and cruel to him. Taeyong sighed when you ran your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp while he held your waist, the gesture never failed to calm him down. You smiled happy to see him trying to relax, you leaned down kissing his soft lips, mumbling.
“Yongie, that’s alright, you’re not the first one to dream of someone you’ve never seen before then met them. Life is nothing but a cycle of coincidence, you were destined to meet this man sooner or later,” you whispered pecking his lips again, “Relax for me, will you? Just focus on me,” you said and Taeyong with his eyes still closed, he smiled.
Letting out a squeal when your back was met with the mattress and Taeyong on top of you, he trapped you in his arms, putting them next to your head, you smiled up at him and he leaned down to kiss your lips passionately. You kissed him back holding his neck, after a moment the two of you pulled away. Taeyong looked at you, his eyes were dark.
“Don’t get anywhere near that Jaehyun, I don’t trust him,” Taeyong said and you bit back a smile, thinking of how attractive he is when he is jealous.
“Wasn’t planning to, I also don’t trust him, I tried not to talk to him after I learned that he is friends with Johnny and Yuri, but I felt embarrassed because he kept talking so I had no other option.” you explained and Taeyong chuckled shaking his head.
“You’re too nice sometimes,” he said looking deeply into your eyes.
“I love you Taeyong, you don’t have to worry about anyone taking me away from you,” you assured and Taeyong stared down at you feeling his heart skip a beat.
“You promise not to leave me?” he whispered unsure which caused you to furrow your eyebrows, adjusting yourself so you were sitting on the bed with him on his knees in front of you, you hugged him tightly not knowing where this was all coming from.
“I promise, you know I can never be without you, I wouldn’t survive. I love you Taeyong, too much to let you go.” you said burying your face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.
Taeyong felt this bang in his chest and he doesn’t know why just the thought of you leaving him made his heart sink, his brain cannot comprehend the thought of losing you, he refused to do so. How can he accept the idea of losing you? He will never accept it, even if he did lose you, he will do everything in his power to return you again.
Taeyong pulled away from you, kissing your lips feverishly, you kissed him back with the same passion as he pushed you on your back getting on top of you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him closer, feeling his tongue poking your lips, you opened your mouth allowing him to explore it.
Your tongues danced together in a French kiss before he pulled away to take off his shirt. You did the same thing and his lips travelled to your neck, sucking and biting on it, the purple marks slowly forming on your skin, decorating it beautifully.
“Mine,” Taeyong whispered against your neck, as your fingers tangled in his hair pulling on it lightly, not wanting to hurt him and whispered.
“Yours, only yours to savour.”
After hearing this, Taeyong couldn’t stop himself from holding back, he let himself go as he took all of yours and his clothes off, not waiting any longer to make love to you. He rubbed his crotch against your core, satisfied with hearing your beautiful moans filling his ear. He looked down at you in lust capturing your lips in a kiss, he poured all his emotions into the kiss as he slid inside your vagina, letting out a long moan, he waited a moment for you to adjust to him.
Tapping his shoulder, Taeyong took that as a sign to start moving, thrusting his hips inside you, you let out another beautiful moan as you felt him inside you. Picking up his pace, Taeyong felt you clench around him causing him to let out a beautiful moan, your hands wandered around his body and you sank your nails in his back decorating it with scratches. Taeyong hissed from the pain mixed with pleasure that almost made him lose his mind.
He leaned down to the valley of your breasts kissing and sucking marks on them, you let out a loud moan the pleasure overwhelming you and felt yourself close to your climax. Taeyong felt you tighten around him and he picked up his pace feeling like he was getting closer to the edge, he took one of your breasts in his mouth and continued to thrust into you. He hit a spot that made you see stars, you gripped his shoulders tightly looking at him lustily.
“Baby, I’m close,” you whispered and he cursed at the pet name getting to him, his thrusts inside you became more powerful, as he chased his orgasm. “Oh my God, I love you so much.” you said as he brought you in for a sloppy kiss and you two moaned against each other lips.
“I love you too.”
Taeyong looked at you as your walls clamped around him and you let out a cry of euphoria releasing the pit inside your stomach, Taeyong moaned at the sight of you as he also let go of himself, his semen paintings your walls. Taeyong rode out your highs and collapsed on top of you.
You were breathing heavily with a blessed smile on your face, Taeyong pulled himself out of you causing you to let out a groan at the loss of contact, as he fell on the bed next to you. You never felt close to him as much as he was inside you. You two fit together like puzzle pieces, you looked at Taeyong who had his eyes closed, you smiled kissing his shoulders. He opened his eyes and turned to look at you, you snuggled into his chest.
“That was amazing, I really needed it,” you said and he laughed softly kissing your hair, wrapping his arm around your body.
“Glad I could help. God you’re gonna be the death of me,” he whispered and you kissed his lips again, “I love you.” Taeyong whispered and you smiled cuddling into his chest again closing your eyes mumbling.
“I love you.”
***
Taeyong sighed for the millionth time as he sat beside you, annoyed by the man sitting in front of him, Jaehyun, he watched as he joked around with all of you, throwing you and his friends into a fit of laughter. It’s not that he wasn’t funny, it seemed as if he was trying hard to impress you, Taeyong isn’t stupid, he saw the way he was eying you and shamelessly flirted with you, Taeyong had to hold in his laughter when Jaehyun asked who was the most handsome person in here and you said your boyfriend’s name. He didn’t know why Johnny invited him in the first place, Johnny told him it was going to be the four of them, but Jaehyun tagging along killed all the fun for him.
“Love? Are you okay?”
Taeyong awoke from his daze by your sweet voice, he smiled and nodded, taking your hand in his. You drew circles on the back of his hand relaxing him a little, his eyes drifted to Yuri who spoke up.
“It’s almost noon, where should we go next?” Yuri asked and Johnny turned to look at Jaehyun, much to Taeyong’s confusion.
“Our finest tour guide, where should we head to next?” Johnny asked and Jaehyun smiled.
“I suggest you should check out the Icarian sea, the view there is so relaxing,” Jaehyun said and you furrowed your eyebrows looking at Taeyong concern written all over your face.
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Taeyong doesn’t like water at all,” you said your voice firm to prove your point.
“We won’t swim or anything like that, it will be like having a meal there or watching the sunset. What? Can’t handle the sight of the sea?” Jaehyun asked teasing a bit causing Taeyong to glare at him, but instead of answering him, he turned to look at you with a smile.
“That’s fine love, don’t worry about me,” he said and you shook your head refusing to let him do something that might cause him a panic attack or anything.
“No, Taeyong! They can go if they want I don’t care, but you’re not doing something that might make you uncomfortable just because you’re shy to refuse!” you whispered to him and he sighed patting your hand.
“It’s alright I promise, I can sit by the beach that’s fine. Come on, Johnny and Yuri are counting on us,” he tried to persuade you and you looked at him in uncertainty.
This was going to be bad, you just know it, was Taeyong really risking all of this so your friends won’t be upset? Was he really willing to have a panic attack just because they wanted to see the sea? Was he even ready to face his fear? You will never know.
You looked at him in doubt one last time and saw how he was looking at you, you were unsure of what to do, this didn’t sound good in your opinion, and you know Taeyong knows this as well, but because was too much of a nice man to actually say anything else. You sighed and nodded heavily hoping that nothing wouldn’t go wrong.
“Fine then, but if I sense the smallest change in your behaviour, we’re out.” you said sternly and Taeyong smiled kissing your forehead nodding.
Jaehyun rolled his eyes and stood up causing Johnny and Yuri to stand up as well. He looked at you and Taeyong both men having a glaring contest. The atmosphere was thick with awkwardness, as Johnny and Yuri looked at each other in discomfort. Jaehyun broke the eye contact saying.
“Come on, we don’t have all day.”
***
Maybe this was a bad idea like you said, but Taeyong chose to keep his mouth shut as not to make you even more worried than you already were. His heart was beating loudly that he was afraid that anybody would hear it, he doesn’t know why he was feeling like this, that wasn’t a normal way to feel upon going to the sea. Yes, he has a phobia of it, but the feelings he felt were more like being scared to face something he thought he almost forgot.
The way to the Icarian Sea looked familiar, it was as if he saw it before, the sky was bright and the sun was glowing greatly, it reminded him of a memory that he couldn’t quite put his hand on it. Taeyong could feel your eyes on him, but he kept on staring at the window pretending as if he wasn’t about to die of fear.
The car stopped in front of a fancy looking restaurant, he furrowed his eyebrows getting out of the car, helping you as well then his eyes scanned the area around him taking in his surroundings. The air smelt differently, the wind picked up as if welcoming him. He looked around as Jaehyun led you towards the cornish where you would be able to see the sea clearly. You looked to your right to see how tensed Taeyong were, you held his hand and he looked at you smiling softly trying not to make it obvious that he was nervous. Jaehyun stopped in front of the sea looking at it smiling and turned around to face you again.
“Take a look at how beautiful the sea is, admire it.” Jaehyun said and you looked at the sea, the water was clear and the sun was shining brightly causing the blue of it to glow.
Taeyong looked at the sea and felt nauseous, his mind flashed hundreds of memories all at once, his head hurt a lot and he let go of your hand rubbing his temples while letting out noises of pain, he fell to the ground and screamed. He saw the same vision that haunted him back home, the sun hitting his face, melting the feathers as he fell from the sky, how he saw the troubled look on the face of the man who looks like he was his father. How he fell deep into the sea, the water consuming him filling his lungs cutting his breathing completely, how in the end he died tragically.
“Taeyong! Love! Please wake up!” you shouted slapping his face gently trying to get him to wake up, Johnny pushed you away and quickly grabbed Taeyong carrying him as they returned to the car asking Jaehyun to drive them to the nearest hospital.
You sat in the backseat holding Taeyong tears streaming down your face ignoring the apologies of Yuri and Johnny. You knew this was going to happen, he didn’t listen to you when you begged him not to go there and look where this got him now. You held his hand tightly pushing his hair away from his face, letting the air cool his body down. You weren’t aware of Jaehyun’s eyes that looked at you from the front mirror, he turned around and stared ahead of him with a calm smile on his face.
He got his answer.
***
Taeyong heard multiple voices all speaking at once, he wanted to open his eyes but his eyelids were too heavy, he began seeing the same vision he saw before passing out, he shook his head trying to get rid of it. It played through his mind quickly and when he fell into the water, he opened his eyes gasping. He closed his eyes once the light hit it, he opened his eyes slowly blinking letting his eyes adjust to the light. He saw you looking at him with tears in your eyes and he felt bad to be the reason why you were crying.
“What happened? Where am I?” Taeyong asked his voice hoarse, you squeezed his hand kissing his cheek.
“You passed out when you saw the sea, we took you to the hospital to make sure you were okay,” you answered and he closed his eyes remembering what happened.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I should’ve listened to you,” he said as he raised his hand wiping your tears, you sniffled leaning into his touch.
The door opened and Johnny entered with Yuri and Jaehyun, they stood behind you and Johnny looked at Taeyong with guilt in his eyes, not knowing what to say. Taeyong smiled to ease his worry, he didn’t want Johnny to blame himself, he was the one to blame, he was too stubborn to listen to anyone, he wanted to prove to himself that he wouldn’t get scared at the sight of the sea. And besides, Jaehyun’s words got to him.
“Taeyong, I’m so sorryـــ” Johnny started but Taeyong quickly cut him off.
“Hey John, it’s okay, I’m fine, really.”
“No Taeyong, we shouldn’t have pushed it, we’re sorry we were insensitive, we’re sorry to you too Y/N,” Yuri said shifting her eyes from Taeyong to you and you smiled.
“That’s alright, Yuri. We accept your apology,” Taeyong said and Yuri smiled at him.
Jaehyun watched what was happening silently analysing it, he felt Johnny nudge him, he nodded towards Taeyong asking him to say something, after all Jaehyun was the one who offered to go to the Icarian Sea, he sighed and looked at Taeyong who was staring at him dead in the eyes as if he knew what was up. Jaehyun held eye contact with him for a moment until he finally decided to break the silence.
“I’m sorry, man, I didn’t know you were that scared of the sea,” he said slightly mocking and that caused you to glare at him. He then turned to Taeyong dropping the question he longed to ask for so long.
“What did you remember when you saw the sea that led you to passing out?”
Taeyong’s eyes widened, he wasn’t expecting Jaehyun to ask that, a million thoughts ran through his head as everyone seemed to wait for his answer, he looked lost and you noticed that, Jaehyun looked at him with a satisfied smile knowing he had no choice but to answer. You decided to take matters into your own hands when Taeyong seemed to forget how to speak.
“When he was young, Taeyong almost drowned and was saved at the last minute, he is traumatised by the sea. That’s why upon seeing the sea and the people swimming there he fainted because he remembered that awful accident.” you answered and Jaehyun turned to you glaring as if he knew you were lying, you looked at him with a fierce gaze daring him to prove you wrong.
Taeyong looked at you relieved, happy that you came up with such a good lie, although you didn’t know what he saw, but what he sees in his dreams and his irrelevant phobias only for the two of you to share, not letting anyone else interfere. Taeyong looked at Jaehyun who excused himself and left the room. Johnny and Yuri seemed convinced by the answer and they decided not to push it and ask any more questions.
“When can I leave?” Taeyong asked and you looked at him smiling.
“Any time you wish, darling,” you said and he smiled kissing the back of your hand.
“I will go make a check out of the hospital, come on Yuri.” Johnny said taking his fiancée’s hand and left the room.
You turned to look at Taeyong who was staring at the ceiling his mind occupied by thousands of thoughts, you rubbed his arm comforting him, knowing that wasn’t easy for him. You wanted to know what he saw, was it the same nightmare he used to have before travelling to Icaria? Or was it something else?
“Yongie,” you started and he looked at you with a devastating gaze that broke your heart, “What did you see, polyagapiménos?” you asked and he melted when he heard the pet name.
Taeyong didn’t want to tell you, he didn’t want you to worry about him, he wanted to know what his visions mean by himself, he wanted to be sure of them. He couldn’t deal with the constant worry of being a freak that had phobias of the most ridiculous things, he needed to be sure that he was still sane and not on the verge of losing his mind, and that’s what he was planning to do once he leaves the hospital. So, he looked at you with a smile shaking his head, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, then he said.
“It’s nothing, love, don’t worry about me.”
***
Taeyong watched as your chest rises and falls slowly, indicating that you were asleep. He untangled himself from your arms, as he left the bed and went to sit in the living room. He opened his laptop and began his research. Like he had promised, he was going to be the one that solves his own mystery. He wasn’t going to ask anyone for help, he was going to do this his way. He opened Google and searched for his first phobia, the phobia of the sun.
“Heliophobia refers to intense, sometimes irrational fear of the sun. Some people with this condition are also afraid of bright, indoor light. The word heliophobia has its root in the Greek word helios, which means sun. For some people, heliophobia may be caused by extreme anxiety about getting skin cancer.” Taeyong read out loud.
But that wasn’t his case, he wasn’t scared of the sun in fear of getting skin cancer, he didn’t know why he feared it but he didn’t fear it because of the results he got. He sighed and wrote down his second fear, the fear of the sea.
“Thalassophobia, or a fear of the ocean, is a specific phobia that can negatively affect your quality of life. A negative or past traumatic event can also trigger a deep fear of oceans. Traumatic experiences of being frightened while swimming or almost drowning are also leading causes of thalassophobia.” Taeyong read again.
That made a little sense, yes he feared it because he was scared that he was going to drown even though he never stepped a foot in the water. Taeyong decided to go for his third phobia, his fear of heights.
“Acrophobia is an excessive fear of heights and manifests as severe anxiety. A person could have an attack just walking up stairs or climbing a ladder. Sometimes the fear is so great a person can’t move. Acrophobia can create a dangerous situation for someone who has it. Acrophobia sometimes develops in response to a traumatic experience involving heights, such as: falling from a high place. watching someone else fall from a high place. having a panic attack or other negative experience while in a high place.” Taeyong read once more.
Yes, he was scared of falling from a high place, but again he didn’t know how this phobia started. Taeyong was getting confused by every passing and he didn’t know what to do anymore. Putting his head in his hands he thought about what else to write in the search engine. He remembered what happened to him when he arrived at the Icarian Sea, he jerked towards the laptop and wrote down the words in the search engine.
“The Icarian Sea is a subdivision of the Mediterranean Sea that lies between the Cyclades and Asia Minor. It is described as the part of the Aegean Sea to the south of Chios, to the east of the Eastern Cyclades and west of Anatolia. It contains the islands of Samos, Cos, Patmos, Leros, Fournoi Korseon and Icaria.” Taeyong said and he grew confused.
That was it? He scrolled down until he stumbled upon an article that its title said, ‘The legend behind the Icarian Sea’. Taeyong looked at the link confused but clicked it because the curiosity got the best of him. He began reading the article until he got to a part that caught all of his attention.
“Icarian Sea. Body of water off the island of Crete, named after Icarus who fell here after soaring too near the sun on wings of feathers and wax.” Taeyong read silently and he felt the same pain he felt when he was at the sea.
It was a little bearable and he told himself to be strong, he wrote down the name of Icarus and waited for the results to come. He clicked on the first link as he began to read the article silently, his headache increasing by the passing seconds.
“Icarus was a minor character in Greek Mythology, famous for not surviving the transition from boyhood to manhood. He was the son of Daedalus, an accomplished inventor, who produced an ingenious labyrinth on the island of Cnossus for Minos, the king of Crete. Even Daedalus could not find a way out of his maze. Sometime after building it, Daedalus fell into disfavour with the king of Crete and was condemned to live the rest of his life inside the labyrinth. Because he was his father’s son, Icarus faced the same fate.”
Taeyong’s mind began flashing him some memories that he has never seen before, he didn’t know if he has seen these memories before in his dreams or it was really a reality. He closed his eyes and opened them again continuing to read the article although he found it hard with his weak eyes and strong headache.
“Icarus and his father were trapped. Ever the inventor, Daedalus built wings of feathers and wax to escape. In theory, the wings would allow Daedalus and Icarus to fly above the labyrinth and off the island to freedom. Just before their flight, Daedalus warned his son to be careful. If he flew too low, his wings would get wet in the ocean; if he flew too high, the sun would melt the wax and the wings would disintegrate.”
Taeyong could see that scene but it was blurred, he saw a boy in his twenties talking to a man that seemed to be his father. The boy turned around and he sensed some of his features, he was the spitting image of him, he had the same eyes, hair colour, nose, jawline, height, and even the same built figure of him. He continued reading and the headache of his reached its peak.
“Icarus took off with all intentions of following his father’s sage advice. Away they flew, escaping the labyrinth. Like any adolescent boy, Icarus struggled with parental advice. He found flight awkward at first, but learned quickly and soon flew with the attributes of adolescenceــhis physical strength made up for his lack of coordination and balance. Also, like many adolescents, Icarus moved rapidly from ungainliness to false prowess. Drunk with his newfound power, he soared higher in the sky, ignoring his father’s warning. Daedalus looked around in fright and could not find his son. He peered down at the ocean and saw a small cluster of feathers floating on the water. Icarus had soared towards the sun, his wax melted and he fell to his death into the Icarian Sea.”
That was the last thing Taeyong read before he passed out on the floor. This time instead of the blurred vision he usually saw, he saw the real vision, the vision that was crystal clear.
The sky was clear, the clouds were decorating it beautifully, the birds were flying away their wings making the most peaceful sound, the sound of freedom. Looking beneath him, he saw a man in his mid-fifties flying with his arms extended and he wore artificial wings, that was his father, Daedalus, he looked at his arms and saw that they were also extended as he flew by the artificial wings he wore just like his father.
He saw himself confidently flying high in the sky, he felt the sunlight hitting his face as he felt like a God, he looked up and saw the sun right in front of him. He challenged himself and flew higher and higher, but suddenly the feathers fell off from his wings and his breath hitched in his throat.
“Icarus!”
He kept flapping his wings but soon realized that he had no feathers left and that he was only flapping his featherless arms, he was holding onto the wood where the feathers were once placed for dear life. He knows he should’ve listened to his father, he shouldn’t have flown too close to the sun.
He fell into the sea, he didn’t know how to swim, and as a result, the water entered his lungs filling them, and he felt as if they were burning. He was scared of the idea of dying. He tried to return to the surface, but it was all in vain, he saw his own life flashes before his eyes, unfortunately, it was short, soon enough he let himself go letting the darkness consume him, with one thought on his mind.
He shouldn’t have flown too close to the sun.
Taeyong opened his eyes gasping as he sat up quickly, he looked around him as he started crying. He got his memories of his past life back, he now knows what the visions he kept seeing meant, he now understood his fears, the man he met and thought he was from his dreams, that man was a clone of his father. He was moral for all the arrogant and overconfident people who were blinded by their ego. What happened to him was taught in schools and it was a lesson that was narrated throughout history.
You were woken up by the loud sobs of Taeyong, startled you ran towards the living room and saw him on the floor hugging his knees close to his chest as he rocked back and forth crying his eyes out.
“Oh my God! Taeyong! What happened?!” you asked and hugged him, his body was as cold as ice and you grew worried. Taeyong pushed you away as he stood up clutching his hair tightly in his hands.
“I know what’s wrong with me.” he said and you looked at him confused before noticing his laptop open on an article. When you read the title your eyes widened looking at him in disbelief. Taeyong straightened his back as he declared.
“I am Icarus, the son of Daedalus.”
Once the words left his mouth, a crashing sound was heard, you jumped in fear and Taeyong grabbed you pushing you behind his back. He looked from the peephole and saw people wearing black hoods. His eyes widened as he stepped back and looked around quickly thinking of a way out. He went to the balcony and saw there was no other way but to jump. All of sudden, someone appeared in the thin air as he stood in front of you.
“Kun? What the hell are you doing here?! And how the hell did you appear out of nowhere?!” you asked when you saw your brother’s friend standing in front of you.
“No time for this now, Y/N. We have to get you somewhere safe, Hades knows of your existence, Zeus wants to meet you.” Kun said saying those words to Taeyong.
He held out his arms for you both to hold onto, you quickly understood what was happening and held Kun’s arm. Taeyong didn’t understand what was happening but Kun looked at him sternly.
“There’s no time Icarus.”
Upon hearing his real name, he grabbed onto Kun’s arm as he teleported you somewhere safe. Just as soon as you disappeared with Kun, Hades burst through the doors looking for the lost soul that was stolen from him a long ago. He let out a scream of frustration refusing to believe that he was tricked twice saying.
“I promise to find you, and when I do, I will make sure you never leave the gates of the underworld ever again, Icarus son of Daedalus.”
***
Taeyong found himself in front of a temple he has never seen before, he looked to his side and saw Kun helping you up. He rushed over to you clutching you close making sure you weren’t hurt, you smiled assuring him you were okay and then looked at the temple in front of you gasping causing Taeyong to raise his eyebrow in confusion.
“Artemis’ Temple.” you whispered and Kun smiled nodding.
He motioned for the two of you to follow him inside the temple where you saw a beautiful woman inside with two other men. Taeyong inspected the temple, it was one of the greatest temples he ever saw, the moon was shining brightly illuminating the temple, he noticed the animals outside the temple like they were guarding it. He looked at the woman who smiled once she saw him, she was a young woman, beautiful and vigorous, wearing a short costume that leaves her legs free. She had a bow on her back, she was also wearing a lunar crescent on her brow.
The second man was an old man, with long curly hair and a beard. Despite being old, he looked strong and demanding, like he ruled the world. Taeyong turned to look at the third man who was staring at him the moment he stepped his foot inside the temple. He was a muscular grown man with a beard, his hands and feet were large. he was also wearing a lion skin garment with a lion’s head still attached, serving him as some sort of hood.
“Hermes, you are late.” the older man said and Kun hurried to him apologising, your eyes widened knowing who they were.
“Icarus, you are still alive.” the muscular man said hugging Taeyong tightly causing him to feel awkward, Taeyong was stiff and didn’t know what to do. He pulled away from him and looked at him shocked, “You don’t know me? I am Heracles, I carried you the moment you fell into the water and was the one to take you to Zeus to let him give you a second chance.” Heracles explained.
Taeyong blinked, so this man was Heracles, and the older man was Zeus, the God of thunder, and the woman must be Artemis, Goddess of wild animals, the hunt, and vegetation and of chastity and childbirth, and this was her temple. Before Taeyong got a chance to reply, Heracles looked behind him staring directly at you causing you to feel small under his gaze. Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows as Heracles walked over to you.
“Aren’t you the witch that I met on my way to bury Icarus and told me that he deserves a second chance and warned me from Hades?” Heracles asked and all the eyes were on you.
You looked at Artemis and read her gaze, taking a deep breath you changed into your true form. The young witch with a black hood that Heracles met in the forest centuries ago.
“I’m Y/N, I’m a witch from Goddess Hecate’s army, I was the one that stole Icarus’ soul from the underworld under the orders of God Zeus.” you declared bravely.
Taeyong felt like he was about to faint, that was too much for him to comprehend, he couldn’t believe that his sweet, graceful girlfriend is a witch, the same witch that saved his life. He looked at you and you avoided his gaze, you weren’t ready to be confronted, but you had no other choice. Taeyong stepped in front of you his eyes held many emotions causing you to feel bad.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Taeyong whispered and you looked at him with tears filling your eyes.
“I couldn’t, I didn’t want to risk your safety, Zeus made me swear to never let you know the truth because Hades was after you for years.” you explained and he shook his head.
“That’s not true! If you really cared about my safety why didn’t you stop us from going here?!” he asked and you looked at him with fire in your eyes.
“Who do you think was the one giving you nightmares? I wanted to stop you from going but not making myself a suspect. I wanted you to take that decision yourself, but I failed because you longed to go back home.” you said and he stared at you not believing his ears.
All this time, his constant suffering from the nightmares was because of you? You gave him those nightmares to scare him? Why would you do that? What has he ever done to you? Taeyong had so many questions, what did he do wrong for you to repay him like this? Why did you even save him in the first place if you were going to make him suffer?
“Why did you save me? You could’ve just let me die, it would’ve been better for me,” Taeyong whispered and you looked at the ground not wanting him to see your tears you replied weakly.
“Because I love you.” your eyes met his soft brown ones, and he started crying with you.
“I saw you every day at the castle of Minos, I saw you when you were locked in the tower with your father, I saw you when you flew too close to the sun and fell to your death and I couldn’t do anything about it because I can’t interfere in Moirai’s fate or else I would be doomed. So, I protected you until Heracles came to bury you, I knew Hades would have you trapped in the underworld without resurrecting you and I couldn’t let that happen, so I convinced Heracles to take you to Zeus so he can resurrect you later and I went to the underworld and stole your soul. This is why Hades is after you. I waited centuries for you so I can finally be able to be with you and away from Hades. Believe me, Taeyong, I did all of this for you, ” you said your tears not stopping once.
Taeyong couldn’t believe you did all this for him, he felt bad about thinking you were a monster, you just loved him and was the reason why he got another chance in life. He was supposed to be rotting in the underworld with Hades, but no, you went through hell and back so he can live again. You did all of this because you love him. Taeyong took your face in his hands placing his soft lips against yours, you kissed him back fiercely holding his face. After a few moments, you pulled away from each other and he kissed your forehead.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and you nodded. You pulled away from his embrace and turned to look at Artemis who was smiling at you.
“You have to disappear, and her too, your existence is dangerous, Hades won’t stop unless he has you, and we are a little late behind because Hades already knows about you and he will attack any minute.” Zeus said sternly and Taeyong looked at him scared, he didn’t want to go to the underworld and leave you.
“What should we do father?” Heracles asked and Zeus looked at Artemis and she began explaining what she had in mind regarding the situation.
“I have already spoken to Hecate, she said she found a way for Y/N, as for the boy I’m unsure what we should do with him. I have a thought but I’m not sure about it.” Artemis started and before they could ask her what she meant, a roaring sound was heard. They all turned their heads towards the sound, their eyes widened.
“Hades is here, we are too late,” Zeus said.
Bursting through the door of the temple, Hades with his chariot, the same one that he took Persephone on to the underworld. You gasped standing in front of Taeyong who couldn’t believe his eyes and what he was seeing. He was surrounded by the Greek gods all along.
“Jaehyun is Hades?” he whispered and you kept your ground as Jaehyun, or Hades, glared at you.
“Enough games Zeus! Give me the boy back, you do not see me interfering in your business, so why would you interfere in mine?” Hades spoke with authority dripping from his voice that made your skin crawl.
“Wait until his death Hades, he is already alive!” Zeus spoke loudly and Hades laughed shaking his head jumping off his chariot.
“You really think I’m a fool, don’t you? I know what you did Zeus, for your precious son to be happy you went against the absolute rule we put when you divided our roles. Not to interfere into the other’s business, your words, not mine Zeus.” Hades clarified staring into his brother’s eyes.
Taeyong only watched in silence at the chaos he caused. It was true, he shouldn’t have been resurrected from the beginning, his existence caused troubles for everyone and the world was at risk of war. He will never forgive himself if something bad happens to any of his loved ones, especially you. He wanted to protect you just like you protected him before. He knows he stands no chance against Hades, but he is willing to try his best to solve this.
You were scared for Taeyong, you know Zeus would never stop Hades this time, it was too late and Hades was right, he was interfering in his business, and if he did this again, a war would afire between them and the world would end. But you couldn’t let them take Taeyong away from you again, you couldn’t live knowing that his life was ripped from him again.
“I’m not leaving this time without the boy, I’m taking him with me, the underworld where he was meant to be from the beginning.” Hades said coldly, and before Heracles could stand up for Taeyong, Zeus held him back shaking his head.
Hades walked towards Taeyong who stood his grounds looking directly at him not scared of him at all, if he was going to take him then so be it. At least he knows you will be safe. Hades grabbed his arm and was about to leave to his chariot when your voice stopped him.
“I stole his soul.”
You looked at Hades who stared at you with a wicked smile, you looked at Artemis who was watching you intently, stepping up you walked to Hades standing in front of him looking directly at Taeyong.
“I stole his soul from the underworld, I was the one that begged for his resurrection, if anyone here is to be punished then it’s me. Spare his life, take mine instead. After all, I’m the real criminal.” you said shifting your eyes to Hades who had unreadable look on his face.
“No, Y/N, don’t do it!” Taeyong hissed but you ignored him still staring at Hades, you wanted to break into his head, get under his skin.
“If you take him I will steal his soul over and over again, I did it once and I can do it again,” you spoke and Hades glared at you. “Come on Hades, just take the rebel in front of you.” you snapped and he pushed Taeyong to the ground and took your arm.
“You think you can challenge me? You’re nothing but a witch that could easily be stripped from her powers! I will make sure you rot in hell.” Hades promised.
“No, please no! Y/N, why did you do it?! Why?!” Taeyong screamed and you looked at him shaking your head.
Hades watched the two of you intently, he wanted to see the both of you suffer, he wanted to punish the two of you so you could be a lesson to all those who dared to go against him. He looked at Taeyong smirking, he had the perfect idea in mind.
“Don’t think you’re off the hook, Icarus. You are going to the underworld with us, and you will see her when she dies, I will make sure those memories haunt you for what’s left in your life. And when you die, I will make sure you face the same fate as her.” Hades said and you shook your head violently.
You couldn’t let Taeyong see you when you’re pushed into River Styx, the scene will forever haunt him, you remember when you used to go to the underworld when Hecate asked you for tasks, you feared falling into that river, you can still remember the screams of the dead as Charon led you in his ferry to your destiny.
Hades took you and Taeyong both on his chariot as he descended the underworld. You could feel your heart beating loudly against your chest as you found yourself in the underworld. You were used to it, but you couldn’t say the same for Taeyong.
Taeyong looked at the world he entered with terrified eyes, it was nothing like what he thought it would be, it was truly haunting, no one would ever wish to go there. Hades stopped his chariot and he pushed the both of you to the ground making a loud thud, he grabbed you and walked to the cliff where you saw the dead souls swimming in the Styx.
“Watch your beloved Icarus, watch her as she falls to her death, remember that you were the one who was responsible for this, she sacrificed herself so you can live, and now she is about to face her fate,” Hades said and was about to push you off the cliff but the sight of sunshine illuminating the underworld captured his attention.
Taeyong turned towards the light and saw a handsome man entering, he was tall and broad and was wearing laurel leaves. Taeyong gasped when he was finally able to see his face, the surprise was obvious on both of your faces.
“Doyoung!” you cried and he helped Taeyong up who was still shocked at the sight of someone that he thought was your protective, older brother, not the God of the sun.
Upon seeing him, Hades rolled his eyes glaring at him not welcoming the God of the sun. “What are you doing here, Apollo? You know you are not welcomed in the underworld.” Hades spat remembering how he tried multiple times to take away his lover, Persephone.
“Zeus sent me here, I’m the guardian of them both.” Doyoung, or Apollo, said not caring about the lethal tone that Hades used.
“Well, the witch here is sacrificing herself to save Icarus. We have a deal, don’t we?” Hades said holding you by the arm tightly.
Apollo looked shocked upon hearing this, he looked at you not believing what Hades was saying and asked, “What? Y/N? Is that true?”
You just smiled weakly nodding, he tried to reach you but stopped knowing he couldn’t do anything to help you. You turned to look at Hades who wanted nothing more than to throw you in the Styx river, you looked at him eyes burning with tears and said.
“I want to say goodbye.”
Hades rolled his eyes tired of your games, it was your last wish, and because he was generous he was going to let you have it. He pushed you towards Apollo who caught you, you looked up at the God that was your brother your whole life. You were crying because you were never going to see him again, he protected you from Hades all this time with his twin sister, Artemis, he protected Taeyong without you knowing it. You hugged Apollo tightly and cried as he held you.
“Thank you for everything, I’m sorry I couldn’t repay you, I wish I could.” you whispered and he held you tightly.
“You don’t have to thank me, we wouldn’t have made it this far without your intelligence. You’re truly the cleverest witch I have ever stumbled upon. Farewell, dear sister.” Apollo said and you pulled away.
“Farewell brother,” you said before shifting your eyes to Taeyong who was still looking at you crying hard, you looked at Apollo again whispering, “I won’t be there, so please keep him safe.”
You turned to look at Taeyong who scooped you in his arms crying heavily, you cried with him holding onto him tightly. It was unfair, he didn’t get to be with you as he liked, you were supposed to grow old together like he had planned, you were supposed to get married and have kids. He never thought your story would end like this. You protected him all this time and he wanted to repay you for it, but he can’t, because you’re sacrificing yourself to save him one last time, to give him the chance to live instead of the one he lost long ago.
Why couldn’t Zeus interfere to save you? Wasn’t he the God of gods? Didn't everything go as he planned? Why couldn’t he save you because of your nobility? Taeyong hated this, he didn’t want to let you go, he wishes he could steal a time tuner and listen to your words of not coming to Icaria, maybe then you would’ve lived comfortably together and achieved your dream to grow old together.
You were still holding onto Taeyong tightly not wanting to let go, you couldn’t if you wanted to, he was holding onto you for dear life, his tears wetting your dress. You ran your hands through his hair trying to soothe him.
“It’s okay love, you’ll be okay, believe me, you have to let go of me, please Taeyong, listen to me this one last time.” you begged but he shook his head pulling away and took your face in his hands.
He kissed your lips hard claiming you, it was your last kiss and you know it, thus causing your heart to ache and cry more. He brought you closer trying to hide you into him but that couldn’t be done, and he had to face the reality that you were slipping through his fingers easily and in front of his own eyes. He pulled away from you resting his forehead against yours, your tears not stopping once.
“Please, please don’t go, I’m not going to be able to live without you, please Y/N don’t do this, don’t leave me. God! Why can’t you just let us be?!” he cried screaming at Hades who didn’t move an inch and held a bored look on his face. Taeyong let go of you and walked up to him not caring if he was going to be cursed by speaking like this to the God of the underworld.
“You took Persephone a long ago, tell me, what if one day Zeus wakes up and decided to take her away from you? Tell me what would you do? Will you be able to move on from her? Will you be happy knowing that you will never see her again?! Answer me!” Taeyong yelled looking dead in the eyes at Hades who tensed hearing his words.
Persephone has always been a sensitive subject to Hades, he lives in constant fear that one day he will lose her, even if he knows that she loves him. The time she spends away from him to go live with Demeter at Mount Olympus is torture, it didn’t help with what Taeyong was saying because it was summer and she was at Mount Olympus. Hades looked at Taeyong who was still crying but his face was a strong showing that he was willing to fight for the girl he loves until his last breath. Hades turned to look at you again.
“Your time is up.”
Before you know it you were yanked away from Taeyong. Everything seemed to be going in slow-motion, you watched as Taeyong screamed trying to reach you but Apollo held him back, he was looking at you with the same look he held on his face upon admitting his fear of losing you the night before when he made love to you. You cried knowing that you broke your promise of not leaving his side, but not everything can go as planned and you knew it from the day Zeus told you that it was time for the resurrection of Icarus, he warned you that there will be trouble along the way, but because you loved Icarus so much you agreed willingly knowing you were capable of protecting him.
Taeyong watched in pure horror as Hades pushed you into the Styx river, he watched your body fall down in the river as the souls surrounded you sucking you deeper into the river. He lost the ability to breathe when he saw you sinking further and further into the river. His mind flashed him memories of the two of you together, your beautiful face, your eyes, your smile, your hair, the way you looked at him, everything. He couldn’t save you, he lost you forever and he was spending the rest of his life haunted with the memory of you sacrificing yourself for him.
Hades turned around and saw Taeyong on his knees still staring at the river with tears rolling down his face not stopping once. He looked at Apollo who was glaring at him, his hatred towards the God of the underworld growing more and more.
“You shall leave now, there’s nothing for you to be here for. Return when you die.” Hades said as he went to sit on his throne. But he was wrong, he had you, and the one thing that Taeyong needed desperately from the underworld.
.
.
.
Inside the temple, she waited patiently for the guests she expected with her sister, sure she dreaded them, but she had to grant the wish of her brother, and it was the least she can do for him. The story of the sweet sacrifice reached Mount Olympus, some felt nothing, some felt pity, and some admired the witch for her sacrifice, and she was one of those who admired her. Asking her father for help wasn’t easy, she talked to her father to give her permission to interfere knowing fully well she can do something about it and he finally agreed.
“To what do we owe the pleasure?”
Turning around, Persephone saw three beautiful women in front of her, but she knew well that it was just a cover-up for their hideous look. They were the infamous Moirai, the three sisters of fate. Persephone looked at her sister, Artemis who sat patiently waiting for what was to come.
Persephone stood up causing the three women to cower in fear, they knew better not to mess with her, thanks to her husband she was well-respected by other gods, titans and warriors. Persephone stood in front of them and with authority in her voice she said.
“Tell me the fate of the witch who died protecting the boy who flew too close to the sun.”
Everybody knew Icarus, not just because of his tragic story, but how his soul was stolen from the underworld, and now they know him because of the sacrifice the witch made in order for him to be safe and live again. The three sisters looked at each other and showed their true form, three old ugly women.
“The witch is dead, Persephone. There’s nothing to be told about her,” Atropos, one of the sisters who was the cutter of the thread of life spoke. Persephone glared at her growing impatient.
“You know something, and I have an order from Zeus, so I suggest you tell me at once before I take a strong action with you.” Persephone threatened and they looked at each other again in doubt but didn’t want to anger the goddess knowing Hades will punish them for it.
The first sister, Clotho whose job was to spin the thread of life, took out the eye they took from the Graeae and Persephone watched as the eye turned into a small crystal ball and listened to what Clotho had to say.
“The witch never died, her soul refused to leave her body, she was blessed by Aphrodite. From the start when she begged Zeus to give her lover a second chance until this moment. There’s only one way to save her, and Hades has to let her go willingly, if that happened she will reunite with her lover. And if not, her soul will forever be trapped and her body will never leave the Styx river.”
With that being said, the three sisters disappeared from Persephone’s sight, she sighed and turned to look at Artemis who held a sympathetic look on her face sad with the news of her friend’s body trapped in the Styx River. Persephone felt bad for Artemis because she knew the witch never left her side and was loyal to her.
“What are we going to do, Persephone? Hades won’t let her go willingly, you know him better than anyone.” Artemis said her voice soft and calm.
“I know, but she is blessed by Aphrodite, she is Hecate’s warrior and favourite witch, she was your friend, Apollo was her protector, and most importantly, she is admired by me. In front of all these circumstances, Hades might let her go.” Persephone explained thinking of a way to help the witch leave the underworld and reunite with her lover, she looked at Artemis and said.
“Call Hermes, tell him to bring Hecate.”
.
.
.
You think it might have been just normal, boring days passing by, but the truth was those days were torturing years for Taeyong. He lived with the curse of being the only one to remember you, with your disappearance, it seemed as if you never existed. Johnny and Yuri forgot about you, he guessed it might have been because of the curse that was put on them, and he now knows how torturing that curse is. To be the only one to remember you.
The nightmares he used to get disappeared, instead, all his nightmares were about your death and how you fell into that damned river. How your body kept sinking into it like you would never reach the bottom. Apollo, or Doyoung, kept visiting him every day keeping his promise to you to keep him safe, he has to stick to it because you aren’t there to protect Taeyong yourself.
Doyoung to Taeyong was your older brother that he never got along with because he used to intimidate him all the time. But now they were friends, they spent the past three days talking about you, Doyoung talked about how brave and clever you were, the witch that defeated a titan who threatened Artemis.
You were truly blessed by the gods, Hecate blessed you with more powers than the rest of her witches, you were her favourite and you never let her down. Athena blessed you with her wisdom, Aphrodite blessed you with beauty and gave you the power to love unconditionally, Ares blessed you with abilities to make you a great warrior. You were a friend to Artemis and you were loyal to her. Unfortunately, he never got to meet you before, that was until he learnt that your wish of being with Icarus was finally granted, and asked to be your protector to repay you for protecting his twin sister, swearing to her and Zeus to protect you at all costs.
Taeyong loved hearing about your stories, and it made him feel closer to you knowing how great you were, it made him appreciate you more, but it made him miss you terribly. He keeps looking at the photos of the two of you together staring at your face for hours, it always ends up with him crying his eyes out calling for you in hope you will respond to him.
He wished he had more time to with you, you were ripped from him unfairly and he had no saying in it, he wished he met you sooner, he now knows he should appreciate every second because it’s a blessing. Perhaps he should’ve agreed when you told him you would rip the tickets in half, maybe then you wouldn’t have gotten on the plane and went home and stayed safe together.
Taeyong wondered what was your plan, was it to keep him safe and let him enjoy the life he had? Maybe then his dream of marrying you would’ve come true, maybe you had the same plan as him, marrying each other, having kids, growing old together. If he died naturally maybe then you would’ve gone to Hades admitting your crime then let him punish you all he wants, but then you would be happy because you let Taeyong have the life he deserved.
Maybe that was the plan all along, but he had to ruin it by insisting on going to Icaria for the wedding of his best friend despite all the signals and the frightening nightmares you gave him. He hates himself for it, it led him to lose you, the only person that truly loved him, put up with him, comforted him, helped him, took care of him, the only person that was there for him when no one else was. How could he let you go like that?
He remembers that one night when he fell asleep and had a dream of the two of you getting married, he remembered how happy he was to see that dream coming true, but when he woke up he cried because he knows that dream was never going to come true.
Taeyong sat on the chair watching the two lovers in front of him exchanging vows, they were making their dream of marrying each other come true. Taeyong was bitter, he only watched envious they got this chance and he didn’t, he just hoped that they would cherish one another forever.
“I promise to love you forever, be there for you, hold you when you feel down, protect you till my last breath, I love you so much, Yuri.” Johnny said.
Taeyong’s heart clenched as he remembered how he never got to tell you he loved you for the last time. He blinked trying not to show that he was crying because he remembered his lover. From beside him, Doyoung watched the boy who became his friend, suffer from watching the two lovers in front of him declaring their love towards one another in front of all these people. Taeyong watched as the priest announced them a married couple as they kissed.
The cheering around him seemed to die down as he imagined you and him getting married instead of them. Oh how happy he would’ve been, he would kiss in front of all these people every minute to prove that you were his only to cherish and love. But reality hit him hard in the face when the sight of you drowning into the Styx river crossed his mind.
“Come on, you have to go congratulate them,” Doyoung said pulling Taeyong up as they went to the newly married couple.
“Congratulations, Johnny and Yuri, I’m so happy for you guys,” Taeyong said smiling and Johnny smiled back at him.
“Thank you Tae, thanks for coming, I know it must haven’t been easy on you to travel when you have a phobia of flying,” Johnny said and Taeyong gave him a tight-lipped smile shaking his head.
“No, don’t apologise, I’m more than happy to spend this day with you,” he said and Johnny eyed Doyoung who was standing next to Taeyong awkwardly, Taeyong noticed this and smiled, “By the way, this is my friend, Doyoung, he is a therapist and was more than happy to accompany me. Doyoung, this is my friend Johnny and his wife Yuri.”
Doyoung smiled shaking their hands, “Nice to meet you, and congratulations,” he said and they smiled at him.
“Thank you, Taeyong. Hey, I know it’s been a while since you last went on a date, but I have the perfect date for you, my sister’s friend, she is here today and I can tell you will like her.” Yuri said.
Taeyong looked at Doyoung who kept his mouth shut, he sighed shaking his head, “No, thank you, Yuri. I’m comfortable this way,” Taeyong said and she stared at him.
“What nonsense! I’m sure you will like her!” Yuri said as she waved at someone from behind him.
“Yuri, no, please,” Taeyong tried to stop her but she just hushed him.
“Oh hush, I’m sure you’ll like her, there she comes!” she said and Taeyong sighed looking behind him at the girl Yuri wanted him to hook up with. His eyes widened and he held his breath. It was impossible, that couldn’t be happening, how is this for real? He couldn’t take his eyes off of the girl that was coming their way.
It was you, you looked graceful like how you used to be, your eyes bright and you were still beautiful, your hair shined like it always did, your pretty smile is still the same as it always has been, you didn’t look like how you did when he saw you in the underworld, it looked as if you were never there.
How was this possible? He remembers Hades’ words exactly, you were never to be resurrected again and you were forever trapped in the underworld. Did you manage to escape again? Or did Hades decide to give him mercy and make you return to him? Did Zeus interfere once again? He will never know.
“Hi, I’m Y/N, nice to meet you,” you said, your voice is still the same, Taeyong smiled happily for the first time in four days.
“I’m Taeyong, nice to meet you too,” he said and he saw how your eyes squinted like you were thinking about something.
“Have we met before?” you asked and Taeyong couldn’t believe it.
You didn’t remember him? You didn’t remember your old life? Did you get resurrected as a human? Was that another chance for him and you? If so, he had to make sure he would never let go of it.
Taeyong smiled shaking his head feeling his heart beat with happiness as he answered your question.
“I don’t think so, I would’ve remembered a beautiful face like yours.”
#nctcreations#ficscafe#kdiner#knet bakery#nct#nct taeyong#lee taeyong imagines#taeyong fic#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 fic#nct scenarios#taeyong fanfic#taeyong au
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Ben, Anodites and the Omnitrix
Buckle up kids, I’ve been playing with several headcanons for the last few days and have managed to connect them all to create an overarching whole to explain several inconsistencies throughout the series. I have a big, long rant under the cut but its basically that Ben has Anodite traits in him that make him the only person able to effectively wear the Omnitrix without major consequences and is the reason the watch can’t be removed.
1. The Omnitrix cannot be removed from Ben
Okay so I know this is outright disproved by canon but I thumb my nose at it. Not only does it not make sense in story but it takes tension away. In actuality, No One not Max, Ben’s parents, Azmuth or Tetrax would allow a hyperactive, untrained child to run around with the most powerful device in the universe. For Ben’s own safety if nothing else, it would have been removed even if temporarily. Ergo, once the Omnitrix strapped onto him, it became literally impossible to take off. I submit that even if someone chopped off Ben’s arm, the Omnitrix would simply reattach elsewhere. To explain Ben’s hiatus years, I just say he either covered it up and ignored it or even got an watch covering energy blocker we saw in some of the alt-Ben universes. This ups the stakes bc everyone is forced to deal with Ben as a major player, there’s no do overs as far as wielders. If he ever were to go rogue, he would not be stopped by removing the Omnitrix.
2. Ben has Anodite heritage
So again, I’m not terribly familiar with AF but I was fascinated by the idea of Ben and Gwen being a quarter energy being. It was interesting that one cousin had abilities and another didn’t. What also intrigued me was this description of Anodite species in general lifted straight from the wiki
Anodites are very free-spirited, and most don't take life as seriously as most humans, to the point that some Anodites disregard the morality of their actions and would rather satisfy their own personal pleasures. They can also be slightly condescending
I remember reading this for the first time and thinking “this doesn’t really fit Gwen’s personality but it sure as hell describes Ben.” Ben is incredibly free-spirited and lives a very energetic and spirited lifestyle. Everything he does is with his whole being and while Ben is, himself very moral and loving, sometimes his arrogance and desensitization get the better of him. Therefore, Ben is has a good bit of Anodite spirit in him. So why haven’t we seen in?
3. The Omnitrix is actively suppressing his Anodite traits and thus saving his life.
We’ve heard and seen demonstrated that one of the Omnitrix’s most basic function is to keep it’s user alive. So if it’s host’s body is actively killing itself due to mix-matched genetics then of course it will suppress it. My theory is Ben’s Anodite powers are too unstable/not suited for his human body. Wiki says Anodites absorb mana from the universe/living things, what if Ben can only absorb his own life force? A fire once lit either burns out or is put out. Activating that side of himself would kill him. That is one of the reasons the Omnitrix while designed to attach to it’s host but be removable, will never come off. Because it knows if it does, it’s host will die which goes against its base programing. Ben and the watch are stuck for life.
4. Ben’s unique status makes him the only person capable of using the Omnitrix
But! All that energy that Ben is creating has to go somewhere! You know that iconic green glow of the Omnitrix transforming and detransforming? What if it’s not really supposed to do that. If Ben was the first and only wielder how do they know what’s normal or not. The Omnitrix is using Ben’s latent Anodite energy to fuel it’s transformations, this relieves pressure of the energy in a controlled manner, acting like a steam release on a tea kettle. But it also powers the Omnitrix.
We have seen multiple knock-off Omnitrix’s over the course of the series. The Nemetrix is one and it was a major plot point that it was draining and mind destroying to high level beings. Even Albedo’s version had it’s own complications and he struggled to manage some of the transformations. The times we see Albedo using it reliably is when he has Ben’s exact genetic signature (IE same genetic human/Anodite heritage) So why was Ben different? Not only is the Omnitrix using that energy to save Ben but it’s using it to fuel itself and not burn out it’s host. Changing your entire identity and perception of reality must be exhausting, no wonder people using the device lose their minds. Plus Anodites are beings of pure energy who are genetically predisposed to be in different bodies/have no physical form. That sounds like a good instinct for someone who regularly changes their physical form. Ben adapts astonishingly well to each new alien he receives, he’s learned how to adapt and use their abilities on the fly in the middle of a life or death battle. That is NOT something to take lightly.
So that was a very long explanation to say that while Ben and the Omnitrix becoming one was a series of unrelated coincidences coming together, he is probably one of the only ones who CAN use it. It’s the reason the Omnitrix, when it first scanned 10 year old Ben, chose him. That highly unstable Anodite energy would ensure the Omnitrix could fulfill it’s functions without damaging it’s host.
I was absolutely fascinated in And Then There Were None/And Then There Was Ben at the implication that in every reality, Ben Tennyson ended up with the Omnitrix. The only time he didn’t was when an Omnitrix didn’t exist. Because no one else in the known universe can handle it. Poor No Watch Ben is probably gonna burn himself out from alien DNA he doesn’t even know he has unless his Azmuth can slap a watch shaped pressure reliever on him. All I can say is that the universe is damn lucky Ben Tennyson is sweet, heroic guy because if he weren’t that power - as we saw in the Bad Ben realities - would be devastating.
#ben 10#ive been thinking about this for days#i hate the explanation that the watch can be removed bc it makes no damned sense#also how do you explain why every other personw ho uses a knock off omnitrix goes amad#and ben who transforms sometimes several times in a minute is fine?#something about ben prevents this#Ben and the Omnitrix have a mutualistic relationship#a series of happy accidents to create the ultimate powered being#luckily he just wants to help people and drink smoothies#god i love him
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Who is it who really needs saving?
is the question Dabi asked when Tokoyami came to rescue Hawks in the middle of the raid war arc. Dabi asks this question just after Hawks stabbed twice in the back with the justification that it would save people, despite the fact that Twice was also a victim too, and also someone in need of saving. Dabi’s question is especially poignant because it asks who is hero society invested in saving, a question that is repeated by Twice who believes Hero Society only saves the good victims, and Himiko as well who asks if Heroes save people, then was Twice not a person.
I bring this up because chapter 299/300 end on another parallel between Dabi and Hawks. Both of them have their backs being shown, however, Hawks is already healing due to the nature of his quirk, whereas the permanent burns on Dabi’s skin has already gotten worse. Hawks and Dabi also have opposite goals at this point, Hawks to support Endeavor, and Dabi’s ultimate goal is to bring him down. However, Rei’s words over Endeavor’s panel add another layer of complication to this. “Those regrets and guilt, the rest of those have borne that burden much more than you have.” Endeavor is suffering, but he’s not the one most in need of saving. I believe next chapter rightly, Rei is going to point out that the ones most in need of saving are the ones who suffered the most because of Endeavor’s actions. Endeavor was never the one in need of saving, and in need of redemption in the first place, rather it was Dabi.
1. Started From the Bottom Now We’re Even Lower
Hawks and Dabi are seeming opposites even from their origin points. Hawks was born in a poor household the son to a minor villain, Touya a rich household the son of the number two hero. Hawks family name basically means nothing to the point where the hero commission easily erased it, whereas Dabi’s family name has dominated his entire life. Touya from a young age was given everything he needed to become a hero and his father even encouraged him, while Hawks was on the run from the law and couldn’t even leave his small house without getting yelled at.
At first, Hawks was born with a quirk that both of his parents disapproved of as they constantly asked him what his wings were even for, and seemed disgusted by his mutation. While at the same time, Touya was born with a quirk that his father was happy with, a fire quirk even stronger than his own which Enji thought gave him enough of a potential that he didn’t need to worry about finding an ideal hybrid quirk. He could pass all his techniques onto his firstborn son who seemed eager to learn.
The only real similarity between both of them was that for both children, Endeavor was clearly their favorite hero. Touya was eager to please his father and train with him in order to inherit his hero techniques, and when Endeavor captured Hawks father, it convinced Hawks that heroes were real.
However, both of them experienced a sudden reversal of fate. This is where circumstances for both of them flipped. Touya’s quirk was in fact revealed to be a very harmful hybridization of his parents two quirks, he inherited his father’s flames but even hotter, while at the same time inheriting Rei’s sensitivity to fire which made th overheating flaw even worse on him causing his quirk to deliberately harm his body. Hawks however, is an ideali hybridization of both of his parents quirks. His mother Tomie has a quirk that creates eyeballs and seems ideal for searching, watching and locating things, while his father’s feather quirks on his arms that could sharpen into blades turned into wings on his back that were both capable of searching and detection like his mother’s eyeballs and sharpening into blades like his father’s.
At first it seems destined that Touya was ging to become a hero, while Hawks had no hope for him, but because of the nature of their quirks the opposite happened. When Hawks was young he was able to save a busload of people from crashing which got him recruited by the hero commission. While it’s implied that Touya kept trying to train on his own even after Endeavor stopped the training and abandoned him in favor of Shoto, and because of that Touya had his training accident at Sekoto peek and burned to death.
Dabi and Hawks are seeming opposites, but they’re actually quite similar if you think about it. Both of them grew up in abusive households that are intentionally paralleled, they have controlling and physically violent fathers, and mothers who are coded as mentally ill, Tomie was unfit to take care of a child, and Rei was eventually pushed to a breaking point where she was unable to anymore and then forcibly separated and institutionalized by her husband. Both, also experienced a separation from their mother, Rei was hospitalized around the time Toya finally died, and the Hero Commission promised Tomie support if she cut all ties from him. Both of them also dreamed of becoming heroes, and tried their best to, even Touya after his father rejected him kept training on their own.
The only difference between them is circumstances, Hawks was saved because he was born with a useful quirk, Touya despite his father being the number two hero was never saved.
2. We’re the Heroes, Who Don’t Do Anything
In fact it’s implied that Enji intentionally looked away and forced himself to forget Touya’s suffering. For instance, the first time Touya trains with Enji he’s shown wearing a sleeveless shirt. Every time after that, Touya has long jacket sleeves on. When he’s crying to Natsuo, when he’s pulling out his hair, and the last memory from before his death, every time Touya is shown hiding his arms. We also know that Dabi, has burns that go all the way up his arms which is exactly where his flames emerge from. It’s also the place where Touya burns himself when Enji remembers training with him for the first time.
It’s likely that Touya was walking around with burns up his arms from the training he was inflicting on himself, and Enji simply didn’t notice because his unreliable narrator status, he forgets everything he has done to other members of his family, or intentionally downplays the severity of it in order to avoid the guilt and consequences of his actions. Hence why he can say things like “I never meant to neglect you” to Natsuo, when we saw him call Natsuo and the others failures from Shoto’s perspective, because in Enji’s perspective he’s just a good father who went wrong somewhere along the line, whereas from Natsuo’s perspective he never really acted like a father towards him at all.
Enji only ever sees his own intentions, and not the impact his actions had on others. He only saw his heroic ambitions, and not the way he taught Touya that his only value was his quirk, and then completely tossed him aside as a failure and ignored all his suffering when Touya kept trying to get his attention. That he intentionally neglected Touya until either an accident or a suicide claimed his life.
Either way it’s a running theme that Endeavor hesitates when it comes to saving his own sons. Despite seeing himself as both a hero and a father, he completely fails in both roles to them.
He froze when it came time to save Natsuo from Ending, and the second time when Shoto was begging Endeavor for help against Dabi, Endeavor chose not to do a single thing. In fact the only thing that moved him was Deku’s pep talk that exclusively stoked his ego and called him a good mentor, which caused Endeavor to finally move into action.
Endeavor is a hero in name who has no interest in directly saving others, because his number one priority has always been to stand at the number one spot and feel like he’s accomplished something. He didn’t notice Touya was most likely continuing the training on his own, and was spiraling that badly until after Touya had died, and even after that happened he still continued the training with Shoto like nothing happened, even mentioning that Touya was a small mistake.
When the wounds from Touya’s death were still fresh, it seemed like barely anything more than an afterthought to him. There are some people who even theorize that Enji only believed Touya was always alive because he had never truly faced the guilt of Touya’s death and his role in it, that it was a comfort to him to believe his son was still secretly alive out there.
The signs were obvious that Touya was spiraling, but he was neglected so much that Endeavor the number two hero who prides himself on most cases resolved didn’t notice what was going wrong with his son until he literally burned himself alive, and even then that wasn’t enough to stop him from mistreating his other son and forcing him into painful training.
Touya’s neglect is as much abuse as Shoto’s favoritism and training, that’s the point of the golden child / scapegoat dynamic, they are both being abused. Enji was the only parent in the household, and if his kid was burning himself, and injuring himself all the time and it got to the point where the child literally died because of a lack of adult supervision, Enji could be prosecuted for manslaughter in a court of law. There are cases where adults just, do absolutely nothing for their kids, and those kids sometimes die of neglect, starvation, because of their parents completely failing to take care of them. It’s just as sinister a form of abuse as physical abuse. In both cases a child’s needs aren’t being provided for by their parents.
Dabi is someone who could have been easily saved by his father paying attention to him, and should have been saved by the man who prides himself as the number two hero, but he was left to rot. This is a running theme with Endeavor, he’s a hero who continually fails to save his family.
Dabi’s situation is also a metaphor for hero society at large. Who are the types of people that Hero Society prefers to save? Those who are useful to it like Hawks. It intentionally turns a blind eye to cases like Touya, Tenko or Twice. If Touya did have burns on his arms from training but was able to cover them up just by wearing long sleeves, and Natsuo was the only one who knew then that goes even further to explain Dabi’s specific obsession with discrediting Endeavor.
If Dabi’s father had just acted like a hero, or acted like a father then he would have been saved. If Dabi’s father had noticed the person most in need of saving was right next to him, the incident where he burned to death never would have happened. Which is why Dabi’s grudge is specifically against heroes who do not act like heroes. Heroes who, cannot save anyone because they are too self involved to perform the duty of saving. He shares Stain’s obsession with ideologically pure heroes, that only heroes who put saving others selflessly over everything else should be allowed to exist and the rest are pretenders to the title.
Notice how Dabi pulls on the scars on his face when begging the people to think about this, about who should really be allowed to call themselves heroes.
Dabi’s entire arc revolves around this question. Who are the real victims? Who are the ones that really need to be saved? Dabi is a character of mystery and subversion who is constantly hiding his real feelings.
Dabi is commented on being heartless about Twice’s death, but his actions contradict his words. Dabi goes out of his way trying to avenge Twice even after it’s already too late to save him, even burning up his own body to do so. He tried so hard we see literally there are new scars growing on his back the next time we see him Post-War Arc.
I’d also like to bring up that while Hawks accuses Dabi of feeling nothing about Twice’s death, Hawks is the one who killed him, and who after the fact shows no regret in his actions because he’s completely justified it to himself. He even remembers Twice like he’s some kind of old friend he took inspiration from, and not a person he manipulated into trusting him then killed. My point is it’s a reversal, Hawks is set up as the one who cares about Twice as a friend, but really was only using him. Dabi claims he was only using him, but he’s the one who showed an actual emotional reaction to Twice’s death and made an effort to save him.
If I were to say this is one more point of foiling between Dabi and Hawks. They both don’t see themselves as victims and because of that they deny the victimhood of the other.
Dabi accuses Hawks of becoming a murderer because his father was a murderer. Hawks when he learns the truth about Enji, takes Enji’s side over Dabi’s, believing Endeavor being the true victim in need of help in that situation. This is because Dabi and Hawks both deny their own victimhood, and they project that on each other. Dabi denies his victimhood and pretends to be the villain instead, he’s the villain who is going to take down Endeavor and therefore he’s not suffering. Hawks denies his own victimhood and his abusive past and pretends to be a hero, he’s helping Endeavor become a better hero, so therefore all the abuse Endeavor committed is in the past so therefore he doesn’t have to think about it. Both deny themselves and therefore deny any similarity in one another.
They’re also two people fatally wrapped up in their own circumstances they turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. Dabi assumes that Shoto is “good” and therefore, must have been raised with love and had it better than him and was raised with love. Whereas Hawks assumes that Twice is “good”, and therefore worthy of saving because he helps other people. In both cases, neither Dabi nor Hawks really understand Shoto or Twice, they’re just judging them by their own projected standards. Dabi only understands his childhood as Touya desperately trying to work for Enji’s attention, so Shoto who had Enji’s attention must have had it good. Hawks was saved because of the bus accident where he saved people as a hero, so obviously it makes sense he reach out to try to save another good person who just had bad luck.
Despite the fact that both of them are pretty much emotionally dead and in deep denial of their true feelings.
Dabi has also made a show of how little he cares about Natsuo, while at the same time his most famous line from the pro hero arc is “overthought things and snapped...”
Dabi is also the only one who notices it’s dangerous to bring Tokoyami onto a battlefield. This is when he asks the question, who is it who needs saving.
We learn at around the same time, the hope from the Pro Hero arc was intentionally a set up by Dabi to bring Endeavor down, and show everyone eventually that Endeavor hadn’t truly changed.
These are all small details yes, but keep in mind we’ve really only gotten crumbs of Dabi’s characterization so far because his perspective is one that has deliberately been kept from us. We see his past through almost everyone else’s eyes but his own - because so far the focus has been on Endeavor.
Just like Dabi set up Endeavor’s earlier success only to bring him down, this might also lead to a reversal in the narratives. In 299, Hawks believed Endeavor to be the one in need of help. We are also as an audience set up to believe that the narrative arc will focus around Endeavor’s redemption. This is before the series revealed the circumstances of his son.
However, Endeavor and Dabi are literal opposites. They’re inversions of each other. Dabi pretends he doesn’t care any more for his family and will go out of his way to hurt them, that all he cares about is revenge, but at the same his ideals are heroic. In his actions and ideals he’s the one calling for a better society. Dabi is the most independent and distant from the league it’s true, and so far he’s denied their friendship, but at the same time it’s Dabi who is the most idealistic of the league. Shigaraki wants to destroy the current society, Himiko wants a society that’s easier on her, but it’s Dabi who has the ideals for a society he wants, one where heroes are held to standards and act like Heroes. It’s dabi better than anyone else who makes the standards for mass appeal. Because, deep down Dabi still has heroic aspirations and drive even if it comes from Stain of all people he’s inspired by. He has some sort of ideals, a world he’s trying to create.
Whereas, Endeavor doesn’t have any heroic ideals at all. His idea of being a hero has always centered around fame, status and the ranking of number one. He’s a hero unconcerned with saving people, only defeating villains to prove his strength. Endeavor presents himself outwardly as someone who is trying to do what’s best for his family, and working towards being the best hero he can be but his intentions are revealed to be selfish, at the same time as Enji’s narration is revealed as unreliable. It may have been set up for an inversion all along, with the setup being that Enji is the one who needed to redeem himself, when Dabi was pushed to the background. Around this time Rei also tried to reassure others, that he was trying to carry his regrets with him.
However, as soon as Touya’s identity is revealed, Rei’s stance reverses. Now she properly calls out that, Enji hasn’t been carrying his regrets at al.. Instead, he’s been forcing his family to carry the burden of it while he gets to go play hero in front of the public.
As soon as Touya is revealed to be alive, it’s not Enji who is the center and focus of conversation but rather Touya. In 299, Hawks believes that it’s Endeavor whose in need of saving, but we’re shown that Endeavor only really seems to pity himself in this situation.
It’s Rei who shows up to remind us, who really is in need of saving in this situation. Not Endeavor but rather those who have been burned the most by Endeavor’s actions.
Which may be the ultimate parallel between Hawks and Dabi as well, Hawks can’t see himself as a victim so he can’t realize who the victims who need his help the most is. Whereas, Dabi in the future may receive the change of heart he needs to reopen his heart again and accept others, and therefore learn to accept himself. Dabi is set up for a reconciliation between his two selves, Touya the victim and Dabi the villain. While ultimately, Hawks will intentionally turn his back on Keigo the victim, because he can only ever see himself as a hero.
I’m not suggesting that Dabi is good or Hawks is bad, or the other way around, not something as simple as that but that Dabi is open to change, and this will lead to him eventually opening up to others. Whereas, Hawks who is given practically every opportunity to change, and even escapes killing Twice with no permanent consequences, (his wings are growing back, and he even is freed from the hero commission) chooses to support Endeavor once again. It’s Dabi who calls others to think and reevaluate, and is actively trying to create a change in the world, whereas Hawks only interest is protecting other heroes and not the victims that heroes themselves create. Because in his mind heroes are good and that fact will never change.
Because Dabi is the one trying to create change, while Hawks continues to cling to Endeavor I believe we’ll eventually receive a reversal for both of them. Just as the narrative around Dabi has changed from irredeemable villain to person in need of saving, we may see exactly what was foreshadowed in this panel happening. Dabi walking towards the light, while Hawks falls further and further into the shadows - because it’s Dabi who is looking for that light, while Hawks chooses to remain in the dark. Hawks was saved once, and now he believes that everyone who is good gets saved, unless they are unlucky like Twice. It’s Dabi who knows the truth, that there are heroes who don’t save people, and it’s Dabi who is at least trying to confront that truth head on and change it rather than just ignoring it.
In a way Hawks is someone who has gone blind from looking too closely at Endeavor’s light, whereas because Dabi was failed by Endeavor and fell into the shadows he at least knows the truth about what it’s like for those who don’t get saved, and unlike Hawks can’t keep deluding himself that this is a world where everyone who deserves it gets saved.
#dabi#hawks#toya todoroki#touya todoroki#takami keigo#mha meta#my hero academia meta#my hero academia theory#bnha 299#bnha 300#mha 299#mha 300
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