#he literally told me how he spend easter with his family and best friend and ended the message with:

[ddaenggtan]

Half-Baked Holiday | ksj | M

Granny Park’s Gossip:

That Seokjin, don’t get me started on him. He’s worked hard to open and run that bakery of his, you know, and I’m so proud that it’s so successful now. Wish he would find a nice person to settle down with, though, he deserves it, as long as he’s been on his own. Well, I guess you can’t really call it alone when he’s got that grump of a best friend always hanging around him. He really should be paying her, what with all the time she spends at the bakery with him. She’s always waking up on the wrong side of the bed, but she’s not so bad when she brings me some of those cookies of his, or just around Seokjin in general, if I’m honest. Too distracted by staring at that pretty face of his, I suppose, though who can blame her?

pairing } seokjin x reader

word count } 12.6K { also on ao3

genre } friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, bakery au, fluff, smut, literally the slightest bit of angst

warnings } fluff, fluff, fluff; jin is an idiot and so is the MC, like they’re genuinely both dumbasses but in different ways; pining; misunderstandings; masturbation, spanking, unprotected sex, oral sex - male receiving, exhibitionism a little, rolling pins are used in ways they are not intended to be used; several mentions of jins squeaky laugh and also his red ears bc they’re my favorite things in the world

{ The Snowball Effect Series Masterlist } 

a/n } whaddup i finally finished this thing barely on time so yEET i yet again maintain my status as queen of last minute deadlines!!!! HBH is my Baby, I love it, it’s my perfect shiny garbage baby, and if you like it, you should DEF check out the others!! They can be read as standalones, but it’s really really really really really really highly recommended that you read them all in order, as they all end up in the same place and there are a ton of little easter eggs and references and shoutouts woven into the entire series!!! Extra special shoutout to the authors of all the other stories, @fortunexkookie (ryn), @taehyungforreal (ashley), @stutterfly​ (kristi, who also made the incredible banners!!!) 

You're a good person. You pride yourself on being kind and giving. Every year you make donations to several charities. You help organize summer fundraisers so kids can eat. You buy the most ethically-sourced groceries possible. You leave your change in case someone else can use it. You always tip at least 20% when you go out to eat. Out of everything, though, of all the good deeds you try to do in your life, there's one thing that makes you a truly outstanding human being. 

You don't lose your fucking mind every time the urge hits you. 

"But how many calories are in the Holiday Donut?" The lady in front of you asks. You can feel your eye twitching and even the young guy behind the register is starting to falter in his bright grin. 

"Um, I'm not-"

"Look lady," You cut in. "You have heard about nearly every thing on the fucking menu. It's a donut, stuffed with strawberry creme and coated in colored frosting and sprinkles. How many calories do you think are in it? Just order the banana nut muffin like you always do, get your coffee, and leave, so the rest of us aren't stuck in a line for another hour." 

The lady looks scandalized as she turns to glare at you, but all it takes is a single cocked eyebrow to send her huffing out the door. She mutters a few choice words under her breath as she goes, but you pay them no mind. 

"Your usual is almost ready, Pumpkin." You level Jin with an unamused glare as he pushes his way through the kitchen doors with a steaming tray of scones in hand. 

"You know I hate that name, Spice," You remind him dryly. 

"You know I hate it when you run my customers off with that dark cloud you call a personality, and yet here we both are," he responds. He just smiles at your eyeroll and you do your best to ignore the fluttering in your stomach. Instead you make yourself comfortable on one of the barstools at the counter. 

Seokjin's bakery is as busy as it ever is; several of the tables are taken, either by students on their nth espresso or families doing holiday shopping or people just looking for a place to relax amidst the bustle of the streets. There's someone perched on the stool at the opposite end, close to the register, but you pay them no mind. You're too focused on the mug Jin slides in front of you - green and chipped on the handle, it's your favorite - and the steam wafting up from the cocoa inside. There's a thick layer of marshmallow on the top and a candy cane sticking out, just like you like it, and a Holiday Bagel on a small plate next to it. 

"Thanks. You're still an ass, though." He has the decency to look offended at your words, and you grit your teeth against the smile that threatens to split your face. He always looks so cute when he's huffy. 

"One of these days I'm going to make you start paying for your food like everyone else, and then you'll start treating me right."

"Sure," You agree in a monotone as you pull your phone out and start tapping away on it. "That'll be the same day that you stop asking me to do your books for you because you can't be bothered."

The sigh that expels itself from his lungs is almost as dramatic as the play he dragged you to the week before. 

"I am perfectly capable of doing my books myself, thank you. I let you do it to keep you busy."

"Mhm, sure, I believe that," You tell him. He scoffs again and you barely register the hand he shoots forward to steal your bagel before you're slapping it away. "You don't even like strawberries and kiwi, Seokjin, and you will lose a hand."

You don't look up from the emails you're sorting through on your phone, but you don't have to in order to know that he's got both elbows braced on either side of you. You've known him long enough to know that this is his Pout Stance, and you dare not look up because there's no denying him when he looks like that. 

"You're so mean to me, Pumpkin. All I do is spoil you with good food and perfect company," he whines, "And what do I get for it? Insults and mockery. You could at least give me a kiss every now and then."

You choke on your cocoa. It burns your nose as it starts to come up that way, and the dark liquid dances across your phone screen as it molds to every crack and crevice. 

"Goddamn it, Seokjin," You sputter. He's already holding a cloth out to you, apology written on his face even as you glare at him. You pat your phone dry as best you can before resigning yourself to the fact that it's just going to smell like warm chocolate and peppermint until the next time your best friend flusters you. 

"To be fair, I didn't expect you to be so opposed to the idea," Seokjin mutters. He continues under his breath as you wave off his attempt to help again, something about him being handsome enough, but you aren't listening. Because that's the only real problem between the two of you. 

You aren't opposed to the idea. It's all you can think about most days; in work meetings, while you're doing paperwork, in team briefings, while you watch TV, when you're asleep. What his pillow lips would feel like against your own occupies nearly every waking thought you have. The others are torn between fantasies of what being his would be like and memories of him in general, neither of which you're lacking in.

You've known Seokjin for years. You don't even know how long since you insist you met when you were twelve and Jin is just as insistent that you met when you were nine. All you remember is being alone on the side of a playground playing hopscotch by yourself and then giggling at something the nice boy had said and then the two of you were inseparable. You aren't even sure how long you've felt like this towards him. It could've been high school, when he was one of the most sought after boys in school and yet still made time to comfort you every time a boy rejected you. Maybe it was college, though, when he was further away than he'd ever been and yet always answered your calls and responded to your texts and you'd cancel dates because he had randomly driven up to see you. Maybe it was after, watching him run his own bakery and do what he loves every day with the brightest grin you've ever seen on his face. 

You can't be sure. All you know is one day you were washing dishes in the back after being his guinea pig for some new creation, and he told some dumb joke, and when you turned around to mock his squeaky laugh like usual, you couldn't. Because he had flour on his cheek and chocolate on his lip and you'd never wanted to kiss someone so bad in your life. 

And then it just devolved from there and now the butterflies in your stomach have just set up camp. It's been too long, but you can't risk your friendship with him over some stupid crush. He means too much to you. 

Your eyes don't leave his back as he disappears back into the kitchen, still complaining about something under his breath, and you suppress a sigh. 

Shopping is the worst. You aren't really sure why you're here, because you hate shopping and you hate crowds and you especially hate holiday shopping because it's like Satan himself smashed the two together. You get all your gifts online or early in the year, you don't go anywhere near a mall from October to March, and it works for you. You don't have to deal with holiday crowds. Ever. So why are you on hour five at the largest mall in driving distance with no breakfast, sore feet, and full bags hanging from every possible place they can?

"Does that really seem like something Taehyung would like, though? I got that jacket for him already, I know, but this seems so much more fitting. What do you think, Pumpkin?"

Oh. Right. Seokjin had showed up at Too Damn Early For A Saturday O'Clock and demanded you accompany him for his holiday shopping. 

"I think that if I don't eat something in the next ten minutes, I'm ripping your head off and eating that instead. And for dessert I'll demolish those fancy chocolates you got for Jimin." A passing mother gives you a horrified glance as she ushers her toddler along and you almost wish you gave a shit. It's the mall, she can't control what other people say in this hellhole. You probably could’ve done without the emphasis on Jimin, though; Jin knows how much you worship those chocolates, you’ve said countless times that they’re better than orgasms, and still, he got some for Jimin and not you. 

You aren’t bitter. Or petty. No. You’re an adult, and you’re not going to pout just because your crush got your mutual friends some sweets instead of you.

"If you touch those chocolates, you're going to march your ass right back to that store and replace them while I return all your gifts," Seokjin quips back. You glance over at him and wrinkle your nose at the two berets he has in each hand. 

"What the fuck are you doing, Spice?"

“Wondering when you’re going to listen when I talk to you,” He responds. He holds both of the berets up for you to view more clearly. “Now, which of these is more ‘Tae’ to you?” He doesn’t react to the blank glare you give him, long since immune to your powers of pessimism, and instead just wiggles the berets in each hand so you actually look at them. 

Neither are to your personal taste; one is diamond-encrusted in some kind of quilted pattern, with some kind of alternating animal print as well. The other is more understated, if you can call it that, with a faux-fur trim, a feathered poof in the center, and a truly obscene pink houndstooth pattern to it. You can’t help the wrinkled nose that the two options cause in you, and you ignore Seokjin’s huff of irritation in favor of looking past him to the rest of the options. You only have to look for a minute to find something better suited, which mostly means Jin wanted to give Tae something truly gaudy on purpose. 

“Here,” You say, stuffing the hat into his hands. He stops mid-rant - something about how you should be helping him more, though you aren’t sure why because he’s the one that dragged you here and is lucky you haven’t bailed yet - and focuses on what you’ve just given him. It’s not a pretty beret, by any means, and is by far the cheapest one there, but it’s got some kind of artful splatter across it in greyscale tones, with a pop of red around the rim to accent it. Seokjin just stares at it for a second before turning his gaze on you, and you shift uncomfortably. 

“What?” You eventually ask. 

“Nothing,” He says airily. “Just surprised.” 

“At what?”

“You paying attention to people and being able to buy good gifts.” He puts the other two back into place and heads towards the registers, ignoring your indignant squawk. 

“I get you perfect gifts every year!” You don’t miss his eyeroll, and it makes you want to strangle him a little. 

“I don’t count,” He tells you as he settles in behind some grandmother buying entirely too many things that have to be for her grandkid. “You know me better than anyone, and you have access to my Amazon wishlist.”

“Yeah, except none of that is on your fucking wishlist,” You mutter. He turns, eyebrow arched and ready to get more backtalk, but you just make a face at him. 

He drags you to five more stores after that and abandons you in the middle of Williams Sonoma. You’re on your third lap of the store, ready to disassemble the fancy grill they’ve got on display to see if he’s somehow in there, when he appears, probably from the ether or some shit. You’re still trying to figure out how he managed to phase through time and space and the massive shelf of Martha Stewart Collection Cookware without you noticing, and in the meantime he takes the massive amount of bags from your hands and deposits something in your palms instead. 

It takes you a minute to register the warmth, but the smell hits instantly and makes your stomach grumble loudly. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so fucking hungry. 

“Eat,” Seokjin commands. “We’ve got more shopping to do for the bakery.”

You can’t even argue because your mouth is stuffed full of pizza pretzel bites - the only real reason to come to the mall, in your opinion. You’ve inhaled one serving in record time, and Jin doesn’t even react when you bust into the second one in the middle of some tech store. Instead, he just holds out a hand and waits for you to plop a pretzel bite in his palm. 

It’s hours later, long after you’ve helped Seokjin drop off all the bakery supplies at the shop and carted the presents up to his apartment, that you realize you’re still holding on to the bag from the pretzel place. You’re about to toss it into your garbage when it registers that there’s too much weight for just garbage; curious, you open the bag up and dump the content onto your kitchen counter. 

Inside is a small box of chocolates, the same kind you’d threatened to eat earlier in the day, your favorite flavor and everything, with a small note atop it. 

These were supposed to be part of your gift, but you looked put out when you thought I wasn’t getting you any. Thanks for today. xxSpice

You resist the urge to smile; it’s only right that he give you sweets after the frankly absurd amount of time he’d made you spend at the mall. Still, you can’t deny your lip twitches along with your heart at the knowledge that he’d been planning on including them in your gift. 

And you might tuck the note away behind a postcard on your fridge, but you’re never going to admit to that. 

The next day when you get to the bakery, Seokjin doesn't hesitate to shove you into his small office and push you into his desk chair before he disappears back into the kitchen. The usually cluttered space is empty, devoid of the usual invoices and order forms and whatever the fuck else your best friend keeps on his desk. Even the picture frames have been moved, placed haphazardly atop a filing cabinet. Something flutters in your chest when you notice the one directly facing his chair is one of the two of you.

Taken years and years ago, back when you were first moving into your college dorm, when you were both tired from carrying boxes up the seven flights of stairs to your room. You still remember how irritated you had been when Jin's parents insisted they get a picture of the two of you in your matching university hoodies. You don't remember what it was, but you remember Seokjin cracked some dumb joke or said something ridiculous. He must have, because in the picture, you're looking at him with a softness in your face that isn't present any other time.

Seokjin reappears with a steaming mug and a hand behind his back. The familiar scent of warm chocolate and peppermint hits you, followed closely by the warm-butter sharp-mint honey-glaze smell that you remember taste-testing for him so many times that you're almost positive it’s going to linger on your gravestone.

"That's mistledough." You narrow your eyes, and he rolls his own. His hand pulls out from behind his back to reveal the treat he'd concocted in college and perfected not long after. Shaped like a sprig of mistletoe and a warm honey brown color, the mistledough is easily the best selling product that Seokjin has.

And it's only on sale from Black Friday to the first day of January.

You don't even know what's in it. He's never told you, hasn't let you watch him make it; he'd just show up randomly and shove a weird-shaped treat under your nose and tell you to eat it. And of course you did, because you've been whipped for him since the first day he made you smile on that playground.

It's not important, really. What's important is that he's brought you cocoa and mistledough, which means he's bribing you for something important.

"No," You tell him.

"Please," He pouts. "You don't even know what it is yet." You huff and look anywhere else. His pout is dangerous for you and you know it, and you refuse to be bought for some cocoa and bread.

In an attempt to avoid the puppy dog eyes he no doubt is wearing, your eyes flit around the room. They eventually settle on the mass of shopping bags to your right. You turn, seeing the collection of various wrapping papers on the left and the collection of tape beside them.

"No," You repeat, turning your glare on him. "Wrap your own damn presents, Spice, I'm not doing it for you this year."

"But you do it so much better than I do!" He steps forward, setting his bribes in front of you so the scent wafts towards you that much more. "Your corners are always perfect, Pumpkin, and the edges are so well matched, and you get the pattern to line up perfectly, and-"

"No, Jin," You tell him, already standing. "I told you last year that it was the last time I'd be doing it for you, and that was only because you left it to the day before - again - and had to be in the bakery. I already wrapped all my presents, I'm not doing yours too."

He doesn't even say anything. He just widens his eyes a little and looks down at the scuffed tile floor, kicking his shoe dejectedly against the foot of the desk. There's utter silence in the room, only broken by the muffled chatter of customers and the beep of one of the ovens every few minutes.

You last for a solid ten minutes. You know because the smell of more mistledough fills the air, and you know Seokjin wouldn't try to bribe you with anything that wasn't the freshest batch.

"Why can't you do it?" You grumble, already sitting back down and picking through the wrapping paper.

"I've got like a hundred orders to fill today. That's not even really an exaggeration, either. Soobin's been on cake duty all day so that I can get to work on the mistledough orders and still have time to finish Tae's cake before we leave." You sigh and turn to look at him.

He looks stressed; that's not unusual for this time of year, but it still makes your chest clench. You want to pull him close, run your hands along the furrow between his brows until it's smooth again. Smother him with kisses until he's giggling and happy and remembers that he's a badass culinary god and that he can handle this and that you love him.

"I wish you would tell people no sometimes," You say instead. You slide one of the biodegradable rolls onto the desk and start looking through the drawers for the massive ruler you know is tucked away somewhere. "You can't fill every order. Let people pine for their fancy bread, they don't deserve it anyway."

"You know I can't do that, Pumpkin," He says, breaking off a piece of your bribe and leaning against the tattered desk. "We only just got to where we're steadily in the black, and the seasonal stuff brings in a lot of money. I've got to milk that for as much as I can."

"Yes, because you being overworked and stressed like this is a much better alternative. I'm pretty sure your eyebags have eyebags." You wait for the dramatic gasp, but it doesn't come.

Instead when you look up at him from where you're digging through presents, he's staring at the picture of the two of you. Whatever he's seeing is beyond that, though, invisible to anyone but himself. It's not rare that he gets introspective and quiet; it's actually fairly common when it's just the two of you. You don't know why. You don't want to know why. You just take the moments when they come and wait for him to say whatever he's going to say.

"You're my best friend," is what he eventually says. Your hand stutters where it's slicing paper, mimicking the pang of heartbreak that shoots through your veins. You love being his best friend.

You just wish you were more than that.

"Yeah," You say offhandedly, "No one else wanted the gig, so I guess I'm stuck here." You can feel his eyeroll, but he pats your shoulder as he heads back into the kitchen. When he reappears a while later with fresh cocoa and a bagel, you pretend to be mad that he steals a bite of it until he laughs at your grumbling.

When you leave his smile feels lighter, and you tell yourself you're imagining his eyes lingering on your back as you go.

You’re gonna kill him. You really are. You’re going to absolutely skin him alive, you don’t give a fuck how cute his face is or how hard he makes your heart beat. There’s not a single fucking thing he could say or do that would make up for this. 

Maybe if you hadn’t been out here waiting for nearly twenty minutes. Maybe if your phone showed that he had even opened the last six texts you had sent him. Maybe if it wasn’t Seokjin who insisted on leaving at like ten in the morning to being with, even though you had plenty of time to get there because you didn’t even need to run by the bakery because he’d already put Soobin and Yeonjun through what probably counted as actual military training in order to prepare them for today. Frankly, it’s a miracle Seokjin is even leaving them on their own today, considering how hectic it gets. You’re entirely sure that it’s only because Soobin has worked there since the bakery opened and Yeonjun joined not long after so they both know the ropes as well as they possibly can. And because Seokjin was likely up until an ungodly hour preparing and baking an enormous amount of mistledough for today.

In fact, he’s probably still passed out up there, you decide as you climb out of your truck and head into your best friend’s apartment building. You’re cursing under your breath the entire way, paying no mind to the scandalized elderly gentleman that shoots you a Look. You really are gonna kill him, you decide as you shove the key he made you into the lock and jiggle the handle slightly so it’ll actually turn. You’re going to drag him out of his stupidly comfortable bed and probably try to shove him down the garbage disposal or something. His shoulders may present a challenge, but you are up for it. 

Your mind is so made up that you don’t even register the bags he’s got ready by the door, or the coolers full of groceries that are packed and ready beside them. You just sidestep it all entirely and head down the hall. You don’t even register the faint sounds, muffled by the door to his room, and by the time it all finally reaches your brain, it’s too late. You’ve already thrown the door open as wide as it will go, which means you get a perfect, unobstructed view, even as Seokjin startles and yelps. 

Because of course - of course - he isn’t sleeping or showering or packing. No, instead he’s got his fist wrapped around his cock and is thrusting shallowly into the warmth of his palm. The universe loves to torment you entirely too much, clearly. Why else would it offer you such an unhindered look at the love of your life’s dick?

It’s a nice dick, too. Long and the perfect thickness, a pretty dusky pink head. You can’t lie and say you’ve never imagined what Seokjin’s dick looks like - you basically grew up with him and the others, and young boys talk about their dicks. A lot. Plus, you’ve had a crush on him for several years now. 

You just never could have imagined that it’s so absolutely gorgeous that you can feel your mouth water. It’s impossible to tear your eyes away from it, in fact, until Seokjin gets over his initial shock and shoves his blanket over his lap. 

“What, uh,” He starts, throat rough. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh...you asked me to pick you up, remember? Because your car doesn’t have four wheel drive like the truck.” You learned a long time ago how to avoid being embarrassed around Seokjin, but even that can’t stop the burn in your cheeks as you force yourself to make eye contact with your best friend. It’s a struggle to focus on anything that isn’t the planes of his naked chest, broad and tanned despite the winter weather, but you manage. 

Barely. 

“Right, yeah, but...uh, weren’t you supposed to call? And aren’t you early?” The tips of his ears are as red as your face feels. The contrast between the current situation and his obvious shyness is so endearingly distracting, it takes you a full minute to focus back in on what he’s saying. “--at this point, I mean, I know that we apparently aren’t there yet, but really, I don’t mind-”

“Wait,” You interrupt, “I’m still stuck on how I called you four times, both before I left and en route and once I got here, waited another ten minutes since I got here early because I know you like to be early, and yet somehow this is my fault.”

“Well...you should have knocked! Why wouldn’t you knock when coming into someone else’s apartment or bedroom?”

“Why didn’t you hear me coming? The floor in your hallway is a million years old, it squeaks constantly, how did you miss that?”

“Well, I was a little preoccupied.”

“Clearly.”

“You still should have knocked.”

“Why did you give me a key if you wanted me to knock? And when have you ever knocked on my door when you show up randomly? Besides, I figured you were asleep and didn’t want to wake you up while I took all your shit out to the truck.” His face softens a little, and a shy smile teases at his lips. 

“Thanks, Pumpkin,” he says quietly. Your stomach flips violently at the look on his face and you roll your eyes at it. 

“Yeah, whatever.” You pick up the clothes he already has laid out and throw them at his chest. “Get dressed, you’re buying me breakfast on the way to the cabin.”

He doesn’t protest as you leave him and gather his bags up, balancing them atop the coolers of groceries and snacks he’s no doubt made for everyone. It only takes a little finagling, but you manage to get it all downstairs and into the backseat of your truck. Fat white flakes are falling from the grey sky by the time you’re finished, and Seokjin’s nose and ears are still pink when he eventually gets in as well. You turn the heat up, just in case it’s not residual embarrassment heating his face. 

He doesn’t even say anything except a muffled thanks. After a few minutes, you’ve almost resigned yourself to an awkwardly silent car ride. 

“So…” Seokjin eventually says in a too-casual tone. “About earlier-”

“No,” You hiss before he can continue. “No we are absolutely not talking about what happened.”

“Oh, come on,” He implores as you turn into the first drive-through you can find. “It was bound to happen eventually, considering-”

“We really don’t need to talk about it,” you insist. 

“I’m just saying that I know you aren’t really one for...y’know, sexual activity,” He ignores your open-mouthed gape and continues, “But I have my own needs, and self-satisfaction is the best balance between the two that I’ve found. That said, I’m sorry you had to see it, I know it probably made you uncomfortable. Because. Y’know. Dicks.”

You’re still gawking as he finishes his spiel, and you feel a little like a fish. You surely must look like one, with your mouth hanging open in shock, your eyes as wide as saucers, and the general air of befuddlement that surrounds you. There are so many things you want to say, questions you have, all of them colliding in your brain.

“I like sexual activity just fine!” is what makes it out, just as the speaker beside your window crackles to life. There’s a long, pregnant pause in which you and Seokjin just stare at each other. 

“So...what can I get for you today?” The worker says through the speaker. You want to die, just a little, as you rattle off your order and Seokjin’s to him; the universe hates you, obviously, that’s the only real explanation here. 

“We are not talking about this,” You tell Seokjin firmly as you pull away from the speaker. Your face is still burning, but you refuse to acknowledge it. “You are paying and then we are heading to the cabin and we are not ever speaking of this again.”

He holds his hands up in defeat. You almost believe that he’s dropped the subject, but unfortunately you know him too well for that. Which is why you shoot him a warning look as you pull up to the window and he starts to say something. 

“All I was going to say is that my parents asked about you the other day. They’re mad that you haven’t been by lately.”

“I’ve been busy,” You say as you hand Seokjin’s card to the kid in the window. “I haven’t had time to visit.”

“You visit Jimin’s grandma like twice a week.”

“Yeah, well, Granny Park and I are friends. Not to mention I still have to unseat her as the reigning go champion.” You don’t mention that you’re sneaking her mistledough and cookies so that she won’t blab about the fact that you’re in love with Seokjin. Or that every time you go to his parents’ house, they end up talking about weddings and asking when you’re getting married. You can’t deal with that, not when you factor in your feelings for their son. 

“I’m just saying. You’re like a daughter to them. They miss you. I’m going by there after we get back from the cabin, and I think they’d like it if you tagged along.”

All you give him is a noncommittal grunt and several bags of fast food. You love his parents, you really do. You just wish they didn’t come with the constant reminder that Jin only sees you as a sister.

He lets you eat in silence, though, content to munch on your fries and pretend most of the morning never happened. He sings along to every song that plays on the radio, and it isn’t until you’re about thirty minutes away from the city and doing your best to navigate the roads in the worsening snow that you get suspicious. 

“When you say you like sexual activity just fine-"

“I thought we dropped this!” He sends you a look that just says ‘really?’ and continues. 

“I just want to know what you mean. Because obviously we’re on two different pages.”

“I mean that I like it just fine. I enjoy it, it’s fun, I would like to continue having it in the future. What of that is strange to you?”

“No, I just...I was under the impression that you weren’t interested in that. You never really talk about it, and you’ve never mentioned any...partners, or anything so…”

“I didn’t realize I was supposed to inform you of every person I’ve ever slept with.” You glance over at him, astounded, and are shocked to see that his lips are pursed in a frown and his brows are drawn together. You resist the urge to reach out and smooth the lines on his face. “Wait, are you actually upset about this?”

“It’s just...I’ve told you about every person I’ve slept with.” You wince a little because he’s right. You’ve heard about every single one of his sexual encounters, some of them in great detail, and you do your best not to think about them. “If I had known that you were interested, then-”

“What? You would’ve set me up with one of your friends?”

“Who was the last person?”

“What?”

“Who was the last person you had sex with?”

You look at him again, a quick glance to try to figure out if he’s being serious or not. His face is hard, an emotion you can’t place clear in the set of his jaw and the steel in his eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure there’s an actual blizzard starting around us, and you want to know who I fucked recently?”

“Yeah, I do. Fair’s fair, Pumpkin.” Something in his voice raises alarms in your head. You could insist that you don’t want to talk about it; he’d respect it if you were really serious, you know he would. There’s an edge to him right now, though, one you haven’t seen in a very long time, and you don’t like it. You want to smooth it out, sand it back into the gentle lilt you love.

“Fuck, Spice, I don’t know. That guy from the bar that one night?”

“What night? What bar?”

“I don’t fucking remember, okay? It was like...fuck, years ago, I don’t even remember what he looked like, let alone his name or what bar it was. Are you happy now? For fuck’s sake, I didn’t think I had to report to you every time I wanted to get laid. You’re my best friend, not my keeper. I didn’t think it was any of your business.”

He mumbles something under his breath that you don’t catch; between the sound of the heater going full blast and the Christmas carols he’s got blaring through your truck’s sound system, it’s hard to hear anything. Still, when you glance over at him again, something dark sits in his expression, and you’ve got a gut feeling it’s your fault. 

Things remain tense even after you arrive at the cabin. Seokjin doesn’t wait for you to help him, just loads all of his stuff into his arms and wobbles his way inside while you’re still slinging your overnight bag over your shoulder. The door slams behind you as you enter, caught by the wind of the growing storm outside, and you send what you hope is an apologetic wave to where Taehyung and Star - his girlfriend of forever and one of your closest friends - sit in the den. 

You immediately make your way to the kitchen, swiping a tin of cookies and making hot chocolate, all while ignoring the overly aggressive chopping your best friend is doing behind you. You’re sure Star and Tae aren’t surprised when you flee to the room that you’ve unofficially claimed over the years. 

You stay there for most of the day. The door stays open, just in case someone actually wants to come talk to you; you have no doubt that everyone can hear you cursing at the dog show you’re watching, and at one point you’re pretty sure you hear Namjoon’s voice steer someone away, but you can’t be sure. You don’t even want to be sure. All you really want is to know what the fuck you did to piss your best friend off and get him back to normal. 

You can’t just ask him, though, because he’ll no doubt get even angrier that you don’t already know, despite the fact that you have no way of knowing unless he actually tells you. 

Frustrated, you pick up your phone and flip uselessly through the chat you have with him, trying to find literally any explanation for how he’s acting. The group chat with all the boys plus Star and Cat has been quiet most of the day, only the offhanded comment about someone leaving now or going to be a little late. 

Your chat with just Cat and Star is almost as quiet. There’s a featured video of Seokjin blowing up at Jeongguk a bit too harshly considering the younger had just nabbed some kimchi before dinner, but that’s essentially it. You’re tempted to ask Star to get Seokjin to tell her what’s going on, but not only do you not want to drag her into whatever this is, you also know better. He wouldn’t tell her anything. She isn’t his best friend. 

As much as you’re looking forward to the rest of the night, there’s a sense of dread deep in your bones when you eventually emerge from your room. You only do so because you’re out of hot chocolate and you know that you’ll be dinner if you’re late to eat. 

You wave off Star’s curious look when she sees you; you don’t need her worrying about you, not when she’s got so much else to focus on, if the crutches leaned nearby are any indication. Hobi and Cat haven’t arrived yet, which only adds to the sinking feeling in your gut, but you brush it off. They would call if they had trouble. You know they would. Besides, Cat said they’d probably be leaving late. 

Seokjin doesn’t even look at you as you pass him to get to the dining table, and that hurts more than you’d like to admit. The real sucker punch comes once you sit down, however, when you see a mug of hot cocoa with your signature candy cane placed just to the right of your plate, only to realize that Seokjin’s mug of special coffee he loves so much is placed at the other end of the table. 

Away from you. 

Air catches in your lungs, and it sounds silly that you’re tearing up over your best friend not sitting beside you, but he always sits beside you. Always. No matter what the two of you have been fighting about, he’s always sat beside you because he likes to laugh at the faces you make about the conversations going on, and he feeds you the best bits of meat while you act annoyed about it but secretly love it. 

You knew Seokjin was upset, but you hadn’t realized he was this upset. 

Jimin sits beside you and introduces you to his neighbor, but you don’t even catch her name, just that he keeps calling her Snow and she looks at him like he’s the meal and that there’s a massive purple bruise along Jimin’s neck that you have a sneaking suspicion is her handiwork. She looks vaguely familiar, but you can’t be bothered to place her, not when Seokjin is laughing about something Star is saying and looks entirely too at home down there. 

On your other side, Namjoon and his roommate are talking about a science something or other that they’ve been working on. They’re both so invested in the conversation that neither notice Namjoon dumping the extra spicy sauce over his rice instead of the mild that he prefers. You can’t even bear to listen as he starts complaining to Seokjin that he made the food too spicy and the resulting tirade from the eldest. 

If anyone notices your sour mood, they don’t say anything. It’s not surprising, when you think about it; you’ve long been established as the grump of the group, and you don’t expect that to change, even with the girl Jeongguk brought along that seems torn between whether she actually likes him or not. 

Yoongi catches your eye at one point and you just cock a brow at him. 

“Where’s Jisoo?” You mouth at him across the table. He looks to Peaches, the girlfriend of his that you’ve only ever met once in passing, and looks back at you. You way your eyebrows at him halfheartedly and Yoongi rolls his eyes. It’s disappointing that Jisoo isn’t here. She always provides some sort of entertainment.

If nothing else, she usually provides some semblance of distraction. 

By the time dinner ends, you’re fairly positive no one knows about your spat with Seokjin, or the strange tension between the two of you. You’re sure no one noticed how you didn’t eat much of anything; everyone was too wrapped up in their own conversations and relationships to pay much attention to little old you. 

You really should know better by now.

Jimin doesn’t move from his spot beside you, even as the others begin gathering dishes and your best friend disappears into the kitchen with the promise of cookies and chocolate-covered treats in an hour or two. Snow disappears, no doubt after a silent conversation between her and Jimin, and you roll your eyes at how he watches her disappear into the room they’ve claimed. 

The two of you sit in silence; it’s a game of wits, almost. You know he knows something is up, but you also know that he knows you aren’t one to just offer up your thoughts. But he knows that you know that, and he knows you know he isn’t going to let it go because he can tell something is actually bothering you this time. 

“So are we going to talk about why Seokjin has been so pissy all day and how there’s been a notable lack of Pumpkin by his side, or are we going to continue to pretend that everything’s fine like we did through dinner?”

You wish you were better able to resist him. Maybe your time with his grandmother has weakened you to him, and maybe you should work on being less transparent with him, but either way, you slump in your chair and set your empty mug of hot chocolate down with a thump. You still send him a glare that he smiles through and make a mental note to tell Granny Park that there’s a reason for his sudden need for scarves that she should ask him about. 

“We had a fight.” You eventually grumble, eyes darting to where Seokjin stands over in the kitchen, dipping marshmallows, pretzels, and other treats into melted chocolate. “I think.”

“You think?”

It doesn’t take very long for you to recount the day’s events to him. You even tell him about The Incident from that morning that you walked in on, because once you start talking you can’t seem to stop until he knows it all. 

“And now he’s pissed, I think at me, but I can’t figure out why. I mean, it wasn’t any of his business, but you know how I am with him, so it’s not like I could just not tell him, but I don’t understand why it pissed him off.” You huff a little. The frustration with everything that rolls in your stomach collides with the hurt you feel over Seokjin snubbing you, and it’s so distracting that you almost miss Jimin’s careful whisper of your name. 

“Have you ever considered just asking him?” Jimin says softly. “I’m pretty sure having an actual conversation with him would fix this whole thing.”

“But…” You hesitate, twisting a stray thread from your sweater between your fingers. “Jimin, what if he hates me?” 

There’s a vulnerability to your voice that you hate, one that only Seokjin, Jimin, and Granny Park have ever seen. It’s rare, mostly because you hate feeling vulnerable, but it makes Jimin’s eyes soften ever so slightly even as he bursts into a fit of giggles so powerful that he almost falls out of his chair. 

“This is not helping!” You hiss, shooting a look at where Seokjin is rolling out chocolate chip cookie dough. He doesn’t look up at Jimin’s outburst, but his lips twitch ever so slightly into a frown and the crease between his brows deepens. 

You know that look, too well. It’s his ‘I Do Not Care Even Though I Actually Do But I Don’t Want You To Know I Care” look. You saw it frequently when he first went off to college, when he was constantly worrying about all the boys he left behind in that little cul-de-sac. You really hoped it wouldn’t ever come back. 

“I’m sorry,” Jimin says eventually, wiping a tear away from one eye. “I really am, I promise, I’m just. Oh, I think I might lose a bet.”

“What? How is that helpful, Jimin? Y’know what, where’s that dumb dog thing Yoongi made you, I need to smush its face until I feel better--”

“What you need,” Jimin says as he places a gentle hand on your shoulder to sit you back down in your chair, “Is to stop abusing my lovingly crafted plushies and actually talk to Seokjin.”

“I can’t tell him how I feel, you know this Chim-”

“Did I say confess?” Jimin asks as he stands, eyes flickering to where his neighbor-slash-girlfriend(?) is in their room. “Just talk to him. I mean really talk to him, okay, about why he’s upset. I think you’ll be surprised.”

Jimin doesn’t give you a chance to protest; he’s gone and disappeared down the hallway before you can blink, and you don’t want to know what’s happening in that room. 

Eventually you meander over to where Seokjin is sliding cookies out of the oven, each perfectly placed to allow for the perfect bake. You putter around for a minute or two, opening and closing cabinet doors at random. You aren’t finding anything interesting, certainly not the strength to have this conversation, which is why you’re startled when someone says, “It’s all the way to the left.”

You turn, and Seokjin is absently stirring leftover melted chocolate. When you fail to move, too busy staring at him in confusion, he turns and points to a cabinet beside you. “The cocoa,” He says, “It’s all the way to the left.”

“Thanks,” You mumble as you move toward it. Inside is a box of candy canes and a weathered tin that you recognize from Seokjin’s apartment. Its twin sits in the bakery, right beside the register so that it’s close at hand for when you inevitably come thundering in with a storm cloud above your head. Each holds the special cocoa recipe that Seokjin learned from his grandfather, who learned it from his grandfather. 

You chance a glance at your best friend; he knows how much you love that cocoa. The people in this cabin right now are the only people he’ll make it for - save for Hoseok and Cat, who still haven’t arrived. Seokjin’s ears are burning red, and a weaker person - or at least one less accustomed to him - may have cooed at the sight. But you’ve spent too long building up the walls so that he’ll never find out just what you keep tucked away in your heart. 

“I’m-”

“Sorry.” He finishes for you. “I know you are. And...I forgive you.” You nod at his words; you couldn’t even hazard a guess as to what had actually upset him, but you’re glad he’s forgiven you for it. Still, it nags at you, because what if it happens again? Unlikely, considering you haven’t been able to get laid in actual years because you’re too smitten with the man standing across from you, but still. 

“Are you going to tell me why you were upset, or are you just going to play with chocolate all night?” You eventually ask. He sighs, heavy and long, and turn to lean back on the counter beside you. He’s wearing his ridiculous alpaca apron that you got him for his birthday, and that only makes him more beautiful as he considers what he wants to say. 

Your heart lurches painfully in your chest. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted, and it almost feels like he’s close enough to touch, but you just can’t seem to let your hand reach out to do so. You think if you could, you might be able to grab him and hold on forever, but something deep in your gut stills you. 

The fear of losing him, of losing everything that you have with him right now - late nights at the bakery, shopping for birthday presents, the quiet moments in a chaotic world where you find peace in each other. As much as it hurts to love him, as hard as it is to speak around the words that strangle in your throat that speak truth to every feeling you’ve ever locked in the recesses of your heart, you can’t risk telling him. Because this pining and loving and eventually watching him grow old with someone he loves?

That’s enough for you. 

“I just got jealous, I suppose,” Seokjin eventually says. “I always thought that you weren’t interested in sex, y’know? You mentioned it once in college that you’d tried it, but your little half-frown was there, so I knew you didn’t like it, because you get the same one every time you eat gingerbread because you hate it but you don’t want me to get disappointed that you aren’t eating the houses I make. I just thought it wasn’t something you wanted in life.”

“Um.”

“Which is obviously fine, sex isn’t for everyone, asexual people exist and are valid, as are those that are sex-repulsed, y’know? And I decided a long time ago when I first looked into it all that I didn’t care about sex in a relationship. That’s not the important thing to being partners with someone. But apparently sex is a thing for you, and I just wish I had known that because all this time I could’ve-”

“What, set me up with your friends?” 

“No, definitely not. It’s just that we...I could have...it just hurts to know that you’ll have sex with other people but not with me, even though I respect that it’s your decision to make.”

“What.”

“But I just...I know I’m not entitled to an explanation, but I can’t lie, I would really appreciate one if you can give it. I mean...I dunno, I know that I had sex with other people, but we had that whole conversation in college about it, and you seemed alright with it, so I did. And I always told you about them, because communication and openness is important, and I wanted you to know that I was respecting your boundaries with that while also satisfying my own needs. But it really did feel weird, because...y’know, so I stopped. And I guess I assumed that if you weren’t fucking me, you weren’t fucking anyone.”

“What.”

“I just really care about you, Pumpkin, and I know I know don’t really say it a lot because I’m more of a ‘showing it’ kind of guy, but...I just would have appreciated knowing that. Especially since I’ve always been more than willing to love you like that.”

“Spice,” You say slowly, being careful to keep your face blank. “What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

Seokjin blinks at you owlishly. “What do you mean ‘what am I talking about,’ I thought I was pretty clear. I mean...yeah, I’d love it if you would have sex with me, but that’s your decision, and I’m curious as to your reasoning and logic. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter, which is why I forgave you, because as much as it stings, it’s your choice. And I love you, as you know, so-”

“How would I possibly know that?” Your voice catches a little on the words, probably because you’re having a little trouble actually breathing. Everything is fuzzy and the words ‘I’d love it if you would have sex with me’ and ‘I love you’ are playing on a loop in your brain. Your entire world has just shifted on its axis, and yet Seokjin looks completely unbothered. 

“Maybe because I’ve put up with you so long?” He teases with a fond smile. “I mean, I know we aren’t the type to say the words very often, but c’mon Pumpkin. We’ve been dating since you were twelve, not many would last that long without even a kiss.”

“We haven’t been together since I was twelve, though.” He raises a brow at your confused tone. 

“Okay, thirteen, then.” He says. The confusion on your face must be apparent, because it begins to bleed into his, the beautiful features morphing to mirror your own. 

“Seokjin, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We aren’t dating.”

His expression only gets more confused. 

“Uh, yes we are?”

“Uh, no we aren’t? When the fuck did that happen?”

“When you were twelve, as I said. I asked you to be my girlfriend.”

“I feel like I would have remembered that happening.”

“Then you should go to a doctor, because it definitely did. It was the best day of my life. We were sitting on the playground, it was recess, you were upset.”

“I remember none of that.”

“You cannot possibly have forgotten this!” Seokjin exclaims. “I cheered you up and offered you my cookie, which you ate in like two bites even though I had made it with salt instead of sugar and it had to be disgusting, because some girl had knocked your cupcake into the dirt-”

“Park Sooyoung, that bitch, I remember that-”

“And then,” Seokjin continues, ignoring your outburst, “I was so deeply honored that you ate that disgusting thing that I offered you the equal honor of being my girlfriend. And you nodded and I kissed your cheek and then you punched me in the arm - which hurt, I might add, for days - and then I watched you play Pokemon Sapphire on your Gameboy Advance.”

The memory rushes in, though not exactly how he remembers it. Park Sooyoung had knocked your cupcake out of your hands and into the dirt, and you had been so mad about it that you’d started to cry. Seokjin found you, curled under a tree away from everyone else, and when he eventually learned what upset you, he’d told Sooyoung off like no one had ever seen. And then he’d handed you the best cookie you’ve ever eaten.

You think maybe that was when you first started falling for Seokjin. With the salty cookie that masked the taste of your own tears, and the angry tirade he had gone on despite the two of you not having known each other for very long, with the wide smile and squeaky laugh and ears so red and cute that you couldn’t focus on whatever he was saying and just nodded along to it. 

“Well...why didn’t you say anything since then?” A thought crosses your mind, and it so horror-filled that you have to ask. “Do the guys know?”

“If they do, it’s not because I told them,” Seokjin answers easily. “When you introduced yourself as my friend, I figured you were just a very private person and didn’t want to rub it in their faces or something.”

“Is that why you always drag me along when you, Hobi, Tae, Cat, and Star go out for karaoke?”

“Obviously,” He scoffs. “What could be better than a triple date with your two best friends?”

“Literally anything! Hobi and Cat sing each other the most raunchy things I’ve ever heard, and Tae does all those weepy ballads or indie songs nobody recognizes, and Star’s got those dopey love eyes all night, it’s revolting.”

“You mean like those faces you make at me when you think I won’t notice?”

“I-” You huff, at a loss. “Well what about the other day, with that girl at Mistledough you were flirting with, who was flirting back and-” Realization hits you. “And she’s Jimin’s neighbor girlfriend lady!”

“Pumpkin. Are you serious right now?” He gives you a dry look, but there’s amusement written all over it. “You’ve heard my sales pitch a hundred times. You’ve given my sales pitch a hundred times, albeit with a little more of a monotone and general ‘I’ll kill you’ vibe to it. It was just so she’d buy all the treats I could possibly sell her.”

You make a small ‘hmph’ noise that you aren’t exactly proud of, but makes Seokjin laugh. He pulls you into a warm hug, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you there. It’s a little awkward, because your arms are still crossed over your chest, but he doesn’t seem to mind and despite all the muttered complaints you give him, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. 

“So…” Jin says in a too-casual tone after a few minutes. You muffle a groan into his chest, already preparing for the worst. “What kind of sex are you into?”

“Oh my god,” You mumble.

“Wait, you’re right, I’m getting ahead of myself.” He clears his throat and stands to his full height. When he looks at you again, his eyes are full of something you can’t place exactly, but it makes your heart skip nonetheless when he says your full name. “Will you do me the honor of officially becoming my girlfriend? Again?”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes and nod. The grin takes over his face is blinding, worth all the trouble from the day, as is the soft kiss he presses to your cheek. You can’t help but huff when he pulls away from it, even, and he raises an amused brow at it. 

“Does this mean I can finally kiss you the way I’ve been dreaming of forever?” 

You do roll your eyes this time, but you let your fingers dance over his jaw and pull him into a gentle kiss. His lips are softer than they look, which you truly didn’t think was possible, and the way they mold and move with yours is warm and tender. You don’t even know how long you spend kissing Seokjin. Time isn’t real, not now, not with him pulling you closer and pressing warm against you like every single daydream you’ve let yourself have. 

Years of repressed urges and desire come out before you can stop them, though. Your hands move down to rest on Seokjin’s impossibly tiny waist, slipping behind his apron to tease at the waistband of his slacks. Why he insists everyone wear nice clothes to dinner, you couldn’t possibly say, but they make his ass look phenomenal so you never complain. 

The kisses become more heated, his tongue dipping out to taste your lips for a moment. Hands find their way to your ass and palm it greedily, and he tugs you flush against him. A hard length is pressing into you, and you don’t have to guess to know it's not the rolling pin. 

Images - memories - flash through your mind of that morning. Your mouth waters and you pull back from Seokjin. Panting, lips swollen from kisses, and half-lidded eyes, he's never looked better. 

"Can I suck your dick?"

He groans low in his throat and his eyes fall closed. "Fuck, Pumpkin, right here? Anyone could walk by." You drop to your knees as your hands undo the clasp on the pants. 

"Doubtful, they're probably having that post-dinner nap, or playing some game." Anxiety pools in your gut; you know quite a bit about what Seokjin likes in bed, but you've never been sure if exhibitionism is on that list. "Does it make you uncomfortable? I don't have to. I've just been thinking about it all day." 

Seokjin barks out a quick laugh and shakes his head. "No," He says, "I definitely would love for you to suck my dick in this kitchen if you want to."

"Good." You flip his apron to the side and tug his cock out of its confines. You don't bother dropping his pants all the way; there's no time, you're too impatient. "Let me know if anyone shows up." 

Whatever he's about to say gets cut off by a sharp intake of breath as you warp your lips around the head of him. One of his hands moves to grip the counter behind him and the other rests lightly on your crown; he doesn't pull or tug, just keeps his hand as a gentle pressure as you sink him deeper into your mouth.

As much as you've never been one for sucking dick, you're in heaven. There's no other explanation for why it feels this good to have him sitting heavy against your tongue as he hits the back of your throat. There are still two inches left so you wrap your hand around it and hollow your cheeks as you pull back. 

A strangled moan escapes him, and his fingers tighten ever so slightly in your hair. Heat floods to your core and you kick yourself internally because you could have been doing this for years. Your tongue darts out to slide teasingly along the underside of his cock and he reflexively thrusts into your mouth. 

You cough a little and pull back, wiping spit from your lips as you catch your breath, and Seokjin is already spewing apologies. 

“I’m fine,” You say as you sit back against the cabinet, tugging him to stand in front of you. His back is to most of the kitchen and your head rests against the hard wood behind you while you eye the hard wood in front of you. “I can take a little bit of roughness, Spice, don’t worry.”

He looks hesitant so you ghost your fingers along his length to tease him. His jaw clenches at the same time his eyes close and you resist the urge to smile. Tension bleeds out of his shoulders and when he opens his eyes again, he quirks a brow in a silent question and you nod. 

In seconds, he’s in your throat once more, thrusting himself in and out at a slow pace that makes you clench with the desire to feel it elsewhere. You hollow your cheeks and suck properly as he fucks your throat, and he muffles another moan.

“Fuck, Pumpkin, please don’t stop,” Seokjin whines quietly. You smile, just a little, and take him back into your throat for a few seconds before pulling back and repeating the process. Each time he hits the back of your throat, he lets out a muffled groan that only makes you wetter. His cock is thick and your jaw aches and you’re struggling to breathe just a little bit, but the fucked out expression on his face is more than worth it. 

Something clatters in the hallway and you freeze, Seokjin’s cock sheathed to the hilt in your throat. His ears turn red and he starts to pull back, but you stop him with a hand on his thigh. He looks down at you, surprised, and you chance a wink that makes him chuckle. 

Footsteps make their way past, giggles following close behind, and you hear the door leading to the hot tub open and close. After a few seconds of silence, Seokjin relaxes, pulling out of your throat. You take a few deep breaths and glance over to the door, curious. 

“Jimin and Snow,” He tells you, one hand absently stroking along your cheek. “We probably shouldn’t use the hot tub tonight.” 

You wrinkle your nose. “Why would I want to anyway? Have you heard Namjoon’s lecture on what could potentially grow in a hot tub if it isn’t sanitized regularly? It’s not a fun lecture.” Seokjin laughs, squeaky and adorable, and helps you to your feet. He doesn’t hesitate to pepper kisses along your cheeks, and you wrinkle your nose even as tilt your head so he can get the places he missed. 

“Now when you said that you can handle a little roughness…” Seokjin says, voice a soft murmur in your ear. You make a small hum of affirmation, encouraging him to continue. “Does that mean I can spank you for not finishing blowing me, or is that something you’d rather not do?”

“Fuck, Seokjin,” You hiss, rubbing your thighs together. “Now you have to do it.”

He’s got you turned around in an instant, your fancy dress pants on the ground a few seconds later. His hands mold to your ass, cupping the flesh briefly through your underwear before letting his hands fall away. 

It’s methodical and slow and torturous, how he peels away that last layer keeping him from your wetness. You know that the fabric is soaked through, it has been since you first got his dick in your mouth, and Seokjin groans at the sight. 

“Even better than I imagined,” He mutters. Your cheeks heat in a rare blush, and you drop your head down between where your forearms are braced against the countertop. His hand smacks against your ass, lightly, and you choke back a laugh. Is that really what he thinks a spank is?

Another slap hits you, no real force behind it, and you scoff under your breath. 

“What?” Seokjin asks. When you look back at him, he’s expectant, like he knows what you’re about to say. 

“Is that what you call a slap?” You ask. He rolls his eyes and pulls his hand back for another. It already looks unsatisfying, and you can’t help but push him a little further. “I always wondered why your dough doesn’t rise high enough. Guess I know now.”

His eyes darken and a chill comes over you. 

“Oh, is that how this is gonna be?” He asks. He gestures for you to face forward again and you do, curious as to the dark look in his eyes. 

Something hard and cold smacks into your ass, and you yelp in surprise. There’s a little more force behind it, enough to sting pleasantly but not enough to hurt. 

“Is that better, Pumpkin?” He asks. There’s a mocking tone to his voice, but when you look back, you can see the slant of his lips and tension in his jaw that shows he’s concerned. The rolling pin from earlier rests in his hands, and it flares something in your gut. 

“Much,” You tell him as you turn back around. He spanks you with it again, and again, and again, and it isn’t until you feel something wet drip down the back of your leg that you remember the chocolate he was fucking around with earlier. 

“If you get that on my nice clothes, I will destroy you,” You warn him. He laughs a little and there’s a thump as the rolling pin hits the countertop. 

“Is that code for get me naked?” He asks, a laugh in his voice. 

“No, that’s code for lick it up and then fuck my brains out.” 

The laugh in his throat quickly becomes a growl and he sets to work doing just that. His tongue runs over your skin, gently lapping at the chocolate there, and several times he gets distracted leaving purple marks in his wake. He even slides tongue along your slit, long and thorough and quick, and you almost come just from the obscene moan he lets out. 

"Fuck, please, I need you," You gasp out. Seokjin slides a hand under your shirt, massaging the muscles in your back as he does, and stands to his full height.

"Let me know if it hurts," He says softly. His voice is a whisper against your ear and it's never sounded quite so wrecked or beautiful. "I'll stop, okay?"

"If you don't get inside me in the next five seconds, I will go ask Jimin and Snow if I can join them in their kinky hot tub," you growl. 

He curses quietly and thrusts his length inside you. Neither of you are quite prepared for what it feels like, and the moment he gets buried to the hilt, he stills. 

"Shit, Pumpkin, I'm not gonna last long," He mutters. You can't even manage words. The stretch is absolutely blissful, just on the right side of painful when paired with the sting of your still-tender ass. He's the perfect height for this, too; perfectly lined up without either of you having to try very hard. 

He pulls almost entirely out, leaving just the dusty pink head you remember inside. There's not even a chance to whine at the loss, because before you know it, he's slamming back in. 

Seokjin's pace is erratic and harried; there's no smooth strokes here. You're both in too much of a rush, too drunk on the pleasure to want anything but release. 

Hands move along your skin, one lifting your shirt so he can pepper kisses along your spine while the other reaches down to gently tweak your clit. 

It takes three swipes of his finger to have your knees shaking with the power of your orgasm. You clench around him and he stills. You can't think, your brain is absolutely fried at this point; all you know is the feeling of him inside you and the disappointing emptiness when he pulls out. 

Warmth hits your back and Seokjin's moans echo in your ears. You're almost afraid to turn around, afraid this is some hyper-realistic dream.

"Shit, hold on, let me clean this up," he says, panting. You can hear him moving through the kitchen and when he comes back, something cold and wet slides along your back. 

You wait patiently as he cleans you up. He wipes away every instance of cum and chocolate from your skin - though he looks a little disappointed to be doing so, which you file away for later. 

"God, that's so much fucking cum," You say, wrinkling your nose at the mass of wet wipes he tosses in the trash while you fasten your pants once more. 

It's just in time, too, as Jimin and Snow come in from the hot tub, smiling and giggly with each other. 

"Ah," Jimin says, looking between you and Seokjin. "I did lose a bet. Damn, she's gonna be so pleased with herself."

You glare at him, but there's no real heat behind it. The two of them disappear to get dressed in actual clothes, and you and Seokjin set to work plating the cookies and treats he'd made. 

You can't stop the fond look at the rolling pin every few minutes. 

Later, after you discover Cat and Hobi have arrived safely and you make sure they actually eat the plates set aside for them, you're on the hunt for Seokjin. He's disappeared somewhere and it's almost time for the countdown. 

You finally find him - where else - in the kitchen, making a horrified face at Namjoon. 

"What? It was good," Namjoon says with a frown. Seokjin just waves him off and Namjoon shrugs, grabbing a couple glasses of champagne and heading back to Slick. 

You sidle up to him as close as you can get and he wraps an arm around your waist like it's second nature. It's surreal, that the man you love is pressing a kiss to your temple and handing you a mug of cocoa. 

"I'm glad we talked," He says eventually. You hum your agreement; you aren't looking at him, just staring down into your cocoa as you absently stir it with a candy cane, but you do lean into him ever so slightly. "Remind me to bake Jimin a cake."

"Why? What's he done to deserve a cake?"

"He helped me out earlier, while I was cooking dinner. Helped me figure out how to say what I needed to, that sort of thing."

Your face shoots up as your heart clenches in your chest. "Jimin," You echo. "Jimin is why you decided to talk about your feelings." Seokjin just nods, eyes wide and not understanding why you have murder in your eyes. 

"I'm gonna kill him so hard-" You say, already setting your mug down and turning to go find that short gremlin and skin him alive. You don't get two steps before a hand comes to rest on your shoulder, heavy but gentle. 

Seokjin pulls you closer to him, a smile playing on his lips as he does. "Why would you want to kill Jimin for that, Pumpkin?"

"Because!" You exclaim. "Jimin's the only one that knows that I-"

The words tangle in your throat, cloying together into a ball you can't seem to unwind. You're too used to choking it down. You don't know how to say it. 

"That you love me?" Seokjin finishes. You can't bear to look at him, huffing slightly as you turn to stare out the kitchen window at the snow-covered trees beyond. 

Seokjin's hand glides down your arm to wrap around your own, tangling his fingers with yours. With a grace you tend to forget he has, he brings them both upwards until he can press a soft kiss in the center of your palm. 

"Jimin isn't the only one that knows that, Pumpkin," He says quietly. You can feel your ears burning, a pleasant contrast from how it's usually him embarrassed and red. 

"Whatever," you grumble, giving up on your mission to brutally murder one of your best friends. Seokjin laughs, loud and squeaky and wonderful, and pulls you into another hug. 

"I love you too," He whispers. "Now, let's go join the others. I believe you owe me several years of kisses."

"You wish," You mutter half-heartedly. He hands you your cocoa and pats your still-sore ass with a wink.

"That's a great move."

"Really?"

"Yes." There's a pause as she waits for you to remove your fingers from the piece. "If you want to lose."

You offer her a weak glare that she ignores as she studies the board. 

"I'm glad that you and Seokjinnie finally got things figured out. It was very cute to watch, but it was getting a little ridiculous, you know." 

She moves a piece, and you squint to try to help you figure out her strategy. 

"Right, it had nothing to do with your bet with Jimin," You say sarcastically as you move another piece. You eye her, one finger still remaining on it, to try to figure out if it's what she expected. 

"Of course not," She says as you remove your hand. "That was merely a bonus." She immediately lays a piece, gaining even more of an advantage than she already had. 

"Well then," You start as you lay another piece, "I'm sure you know all about Jimin and his neighbor, and Star and Tae I don't need to tell you anything about Yoongi or Cat or Jeongguk, either, probably." 

Her fingers hesitate over the piece she's picking up, and her eyes narrow at you. 

"Ah, don't be so cruel. You're supposed to respect your elders, you know."

"Alright, Granny Park," You say with a rare grin as you glance to where Seokjin is baking a ‘sorry we fucked in your kitchen’ cake and decoration some sugar-free cookies for her. "What exactly do you want to know?

#moonchildnet #ficswithluv #smutcentralnet #btswriterscollective #ksmutclub #magicshopnet #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #seokjin smut #jin smut #seokjin fluff #jin fluff #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #reader insert #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #the snowball effect collab #ddaenggtan

[austarus]

HR Wells x Reader Hidden Among The Fairy Lights (Part 2 of 3)

**A/N: The picture/edit/gif does not belong to me. 

*There’s a hidden Easter Egg, lemme know your thoughts in the comments or in reblogs. Could be about my next one-shot or it could be about part 3, let’s discuss ;D

Word Count: 5271

Part 1 Part 3

“HR?” you gave his arm a little squeeze, concern flooding your eyes at the sudden shift in his body language. Tension replacing his usually sunshine-y disposition that you had been accustomed to seeing every day, even if it expertly masked how he truly felt at times around the others. Gradually realizing that you eagerly wanted to see him sincerely smile at the beginning of each day to know that he was doing ok. A part of you wanted to retract your question, but a bigger part wanted to know- to understand what had happened to him to cause such a change in his demeanor.

“Are you sure this is what you wish to know?”

You swallowed your saliva as your answer fell out of your mouth without a second thought, “Yes.”

HR rubbed his face with a firm hand, exhaling slowly through his nose. What he shouldn’t have expected was for you to back down, after all you were just trying to befriend him. He knows you weren’t trying to intentionally hurt him, especially with all the kindness you’d shown him. “The people in my life have always set high expectations for me.” HR reopened those crystal blue eyes that you’ve found yourself falling into more than once. Like a riptide. He held your gaze, rubbing the skin on his wrist. “I came from a well-off family of scientists. My father was a genius physicist and a mathematician while my mother contributed whatever time she had to her cancer research. Everyone in the science community knew of the Wells family. I was… different. I didn’t want to study science or math; I didn’t want to be stuck in labs making analysis and collecting data. I wanted to create worlds and write my own reality- adventures that I can only dream of going on.” Your hand soon found his, giving it a little squeeze to let him know that you were listening intently. “My mother had a weak heart after I was born, so her movement was limited, but she gave me all her time while balancing her research and my father. My father… indirectly had blamed me for her health complication, fueled by my failure to follow in the scientific field. I essentially besmirched our family name.” You can tell where that was going, heard similar stories shared by friends of the past. Your heart clenched tightly in your chest for HR. “One thing came after another and my mother passed away from her heart condition, all because she was defending my desire to write and my interests in traveling.”

“I’m sorry,” you looked down, now mentally scolding yourself. “I-I shouldn’t have asked.” I’m so stupid, of course with that reaction he… I’m an idiot for asking. After this he won’t want to talk to me. After this, he won’t want to be around me again. I’m so stupid. I didn’t mean to hurt him.

“You didn’t know,” HR chuckled mirthlessly, a somber smile crossed his face as the author waved off your apology. He hadn’t noticed your hand in his until now, how his larger hand had encased your smaller one as if complementing each other like puzzle pieces. HR swallowed whatever had gotten caught in his throat. “My father wasn’t a fan of me or I him. But my mother was the one that I held onto dearly. She always told me that it’s ok to be myself, that I’m worth something, so I should keep smiling and continue on with my work. Then I met Randolf Morgan in middle school, and well, here we are.” HR sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. You saw his eyes glistening so you couldn’t help yourself but wrap your arms around him. HR returned the hug, letting out a breath as he concluded in a low whisper, “I hadn’t… truly confided my story to anyone in a while.” The invisible chains of his past still hung onto him even after all these years. What else could I have done, but to lie as Randolf covered for me until we re-opened up STAR Labs.

“Well, I’m here for you,” you spoke softly into his chest with red cheeks, unbeknownst to you his own cheeks and ears were flushing a similar color, “whenever you need me.” When you both pulled away a heavy droplet from the heavens fell onto your nose, causing you to snap your neck back a bit. HR laughed at your reaction to which you pouted at him for until another drop hit him in the eye. You laughed at his demise. Not a second too soon, an army of rain drops cascaded down onto the city, pelting down you and HR. The clouds angrily rumbled in up above. Instantly, the Earth-19 novelist had taken off the backpack and shrugged his jacket off.

“What are you doing?” You loudly asked him as the noise of rainfall increased. “You’re going to get sick!”

With a determined look, HR was already wrapping his jacket around you, but you resisted. “You’re going to get sick too!” Your hair was already sticking to your forehead as was HR’s, your shirt clung to the skin of your back. This seemed vaguely similar to a scene in all those cheesy rom-coms that Caitlin and Iris watch, but instead of a kiss under the gentle flow of rain, the water’s unyieldingly merciless to you and HR. A kiss would have been nice though.

“We’re both going to get sick!”

“Put this on-” HR firmly spoke, taking a hold of your hand once you had your arms in the sleeves of his warm jacket, “-and get ready to run.”

“Huh?!”

“We’re only a few blocks away from the labs, we can make it back and dry off there,” he explained as HR adjusted the backpack on his person once more. You wordlessly followed him back to the labs with fast steps. His warm hand had tugged yours along. Way to ruin everything rain.

***

Once back to the empty labs, HR had ushered you to his room as you both left a trail of water droplets. You two were cold and soaked to the bone. I… think my bra’s wet too. The rainstorm ragged outside and boy where you were relieved to finally be inside the labs. Cisco’s stuff is surely damaged at this point from the amount of rain. I guess we might have to make another trip up to Star City. HR handed you a dry towel, to which you immediately began to dry your hair as he did his own. You giggle when he had finished, revealing a floofy mess. He looked at you quizzically before you shook your head at him. You had to reprimand yourself from having your eyes trail along with the droplets that had trickled down his neck and into his shirt. I have no idea how to get home and on top of that, HR’s looking unfairly sexy right now. More so than he already is on a day to day basis. You once again scolded yourself for such thirsty thoughts because there was no way someone like him would want someone like you. He was up there, and you were just… down there. Literally from two different worlds. You shifted your footing a bit as you continued to dry yourself off as best as you could.

You crinkled your nose at the way you smelled from the rain then you mentally facepalmed because you just did that in front of the cute novelist… whom you’re not crushing on because you’ve obviously got no chance with him. A shiver ran throughout your body as a small sneeze left you. HR didn’t know why, but he found your tiny sneeze to be cute as a puppy-like grin made its way on his lips.

“You can borrow my shower if you want. That way you can warm up and avoid getting sick.”

“I’m not-” you sneezed once more, holding the towel close to you for some warmth. “…” You remained silent, sheepishly and stubbornly looking at anything other than HR. A warm shower does sound really nice right about now, especially with the idea of getting out of these wet clothes. You still had his jacket on your body, you’d have to return that too.

“Uh huh, you were saying?”

“… HR.”

“Yes, little sick birdy?”

“I-I don’t have any extra clothes with m-me.”

You and HR just blinked at one another as water trickled down the back of your neck from your roots. “…” Clearing his throat, HR fumbled around his room to get clothes that would fit you. You saw his face had reddened and so your immediate thought was that he had gotten fever, but before you could ask HR had handed you a dark long-sleeve and some shorts with adjustable strings. “J-just leave your clothes in the basket by the door and I’ll put them in the dryer.”

HR sneezed after you had entered his bathroom, mind going to places he shouldn’t have let it go to, especially in this situation. The author sighed as he pushed the thought away of your undergarments also being among the wet clothes. Stop, you’re a gentlemen, not a hormonal teen with his crush over for a slumber party from kissing out in the rain like fools. HR shrugged his wet shirt off once he heard the shower start, his mind easing that you would no longer be cold. Pulling out some clothes to change into, he realized that it’s better to do so until after you’ve finished with your shower, he’d then take his turn and change into a new set, but at least he’d be dry for the moment. The laundry basket was placed by the entrance of the bathroom, but out of view from his bedroom. Picking it up, he accidentally caught sight of your bra among your clothes. Maybe I’m the fool… The dark-haired Wells nibbled on his bottom lip as he went to place the clothes in the dryer. Blue eyes took one final glance at his room before wandering to the brown bag of a purchase that he had bought a few days prior. I guess now’s the best time to set those up.

***

The entirety of your time in his shower, you had blamed the heat for your pink-flushed face and how fast your heart had been beating. The warmth of the water thawed your body as you berated your heart for running a thousand miles an hour. You’d rub your face multiple times to stop yourself from daydreaming any longer of how you’d want to spend the rest of your days in his arms, basking in his generous smile and sunny-like personality. I’m a fool for hoping. You made sure to take a quick shower as to not take all the hot water because… this isn’t your bathroom. Stepping out of the shower, you wrapped a spare towel around your form. You faced the fact that for the evening, you would smell like HR as your only shower options were limited to his own shampoo/conditioner and body wash. You played with your damp locks before fully drying off and putting the long-sleeve sweater on your body. The scent of his cologne as well as a forest-y musk hung to his shirt with the vague smell of old books and you swore it was making your head spin, intoxicating you. Get yourself together! He’s just being nice, that’s all.

You peered outside the window, finding that the rain relentlessly fell onto the city. Thankfully, your panties weren’t too wet, so you opted to have them on as you lamented your bralessness. The soft fabric scratched slightly against your nipples. Taking a glance at the mirror, the shirt hung on you a bit loosely as it reached past mid-thigh length while the sleeves needed to be rolled up to your wrists. Guess I don’t need the shorts. You re-folded the shorts he had given you. They weren’t going to fit me anyway, but I do appreciate the thought. You wrapped the towel around your head and padded out of the misty bathroom.

“HR, do you have a hairbrush that I could use?” You asked as you peered into his bedroom, mentally wondering if this is what it would be like to be his and sleeping over for the night. Sighing sadly, you pushed the idea to the depths of your mind.

“Should be back in the bathroom, first drawer on the right,” he had called out with his back turned to you. You weren’t able to see what he had been tinkering with. Hearing some shuffling behind him, HR assumed you had re-entered the bathroom for the brush. The Wells doppelganger had finished setting up his purchase and had already put your clothes in the dryer with his wet ones. He had gotten two mugs of hot chocolate, readily seated on the small counter. The Earth-19 being had remembered you telling him that you liked the warm beverage when you both were discussing drinks on a coffee run to Jitters for the team. Reasons beyond him, that was one of the details that had struck his memory 10 minutes or so ago. “Did you find it?” He turned around at the sound of the bathroom door clicking shut and HR swore that he felt his whole world stop.

HR swallowed thickly as you took your hair down from the towel up-do, messily tangled and awaiting to be brushed out. In his eyes he saw that his shirt had encased you perfectly, but also allowing his imagination to not wander too far. The novelist chewed on the inside of his cheek as he looked back into your eyes. He took a breath, knowing his self-control was what the stars were testing him on today.

You self-consciously smoothed out the soft fabric of the long-sleeve shirt as the towel hung over your forearm. “H-How do I look?” The words tumbled out of your mouth before your mind could even register what you had said. Your gaze finally locked onto his, not noticing that for a split second his eyes had looked you over.

“Good- you look good.” HR did his best not to stumble with his words when in reality he wanted to say so much more. But that would be inappropriate. He couldn’t deny that his heart had swelled with pride at how his clothes looked on you. The taller man had gathered his things for his own shower. “I- The rain doesn’t seem to be letting up now so- I mean only if you want to- you could make yourself at home until it calms down.”

“Yeah, yeah. That sounds like a plan.”

“I made hot chocolate for us- you- I think you like it?”

“I- I do yes! Um- sorry for imposing and everything.”

“Trust me, you’re not. It… gets lonely here sometimes,” he tilted his head as a laugh left him, having the gall to send you a wink before he entered the bathroom. Butterflies started a rave in your body at the wink. Shutting the door, HR leaned against it and released an audible sigh. It truly does get lonely every night. He closed his eyes as he felt various chemical hormones, adrenaline among them causing his body to feel nervous and tingly. Sensations that he hadn’t felt towards anyone in a really long time. What are you doing to me, little birdy? was the only thought left in HR’s mind as he started up the shower.

Smiling to yourself, you hummed out a little tune as you had set your hair into a French braid after getting all those pesky knots out. You checked your phone for any texts or missed calls only to find it at 5%. I should really carry a charger around with me. Placing the wet towel in the laundry basket, you turned around to observe your surroundings. You happily noticed that HR had remodeled the area to his liking, giving his temporary residency a home-y kind of vibe with the current decorum. What had really caught your attention was what appeared to be his work desk littered with books and spare papers messily put together along with glasses that were unfolded beside some candles.

Your feet had padded on the cool concrete floor as you approached the desk.I didn’t know he wore glasses. Picking them up, you analyzed them before putting them on for a few seconds. They look so much like Harry’s and Thawne’s, but they’re for reading instead. Slipping them off your face and settling the glasses back to their respective spot on the desk, your eyes wandered over to a slightly open manuscript paper set at the top of all the other case-covered books. A dark green bookmark and a pen was lodged in the midst of it, the bookmark tucking out from the top of the page. Curiosity picked and pulled at your brain, tempting you to take hold of the thick papers and unravel its contents. You pursed your lips. I’m sure he won’t mind… I’ll just put it back when I hear the water turn off… A little peek won’t hurt anyone.

Ethereal Beings was the title of the manuscript, printed with HR’s initials beneath. You settled at his desk, cracking the novel open and pulling out the pen as you wondered what kind of books HR had written. Running a hand through your hair, you began reading the prologue as you took sips from your hot chocolate-filled mug. Unbeknownst to you that you would become so engrossed in the plot of the Mermaid and the Pirate Gentleman (coincidentally meeting  and unknowingly searching for the Kjarni Flower) that you wouldn’t hear the sound of the shower shutting off.

HR turned the shower off after dealing with some… pesky thoughts. The fantasy author quickly styled his hair to his level of perfection and applied a spray of cologne onto his skin as he freshened up. HR took in a breath before exhaling slowly. Leaving the bathroom with a crisp white short-sleeve shirt and dark sweatpants, HR spotted your petite frame hunched over his desk. He raised an eyebrow at you.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah!” You felt a rush of electricity shock you as you dropped the manuscript, which landed with a dull thud. You quarter-filled cup of warm milky chocolate almost spilled over at the impact. Turning around, your blood rushed to your head as HR approach you. You awkwardly stumbled over your words. “I-I was totally not reading one of your books that just happened to be lying on your desk.” Please believe me… I’m so guilty, what the hell?

“Uh huh”

HR just shook his head at you, pulling the dropped three-hole bounded paper set from you. Out of every reading material he had published, you had chosen to crack open the one he had been revising. Taking a seat on the plush bed, his gentle baby blues scanned over the text.

“Would you be able to read to me your current work?”

“Is that what you wish your second question to be?”

He had raised a teasing eyebrow at you to which you nodded at his question in confirmation; HR smirked as he patted the space beside him on his bed. Sheepishly you stumbled onto his bed and scooted beside him but remained a respective distance apart.

“Two in one day, things must be getting really interesting in that head of yours.” HR joked as he reached over to shut off the main lights to the room, simultaneously flicking on another switch. And he said let there be light. Your eyes lit up at the spectacle dimly lighting the room, yet providing a good enough light in close proximity for reading.

“HR,” you whispered, slowly looking around the room at the twinkling fairy lights. How did I not notice them? The lights continued to sparkle around the both of you, an insightful truth hidden among them.

“I figured you’d like them. You mentioned a couple days ago that you’re fond of them, but never had time to actually go out to buy some. So, I thought…” HR trailed off once the fairy lights had illuminated. A soft and toothy grin graced his features as he saw stars twinkle brightly in your eyes. Your face held a smile of jubilee. HR held up the manuscript, regaining your attention, “Shall we continue your adventure with the Mermaid and Pirate Gentleman?”

“I thought that one was published since you seem to do things differently on your Earth.”

“So, you thought our books would be different?”

“Uh huh!”

“We have books with covers, your choice on the illustration of course, and coverless manuscripts too. This is essentially a drafting manuscript, I’m in need to revise it before submitting it in for further publication. That’s why I had it open.” HR had rubbed the back of his head as he explained, giving you a great view of his bicep unfairly and reflexing a flex. A firm vein popped along the strained muscle. You swore the universe was out to remind you of your everlasting singleness and infatuation with the Wells doppelganger. That’s really… an appealing piece of muscle.

HR didn’t grab his glasses, knowing after a while his eyes would strain a bit at the reading. But he didn’t want to look like Harry. As his handsome Earth-2 doppelganger had once said to the others “I’m my own man” and so was HR. And others may view the decision as selfish, but he didn’t want you to see Harry. Especially in this moment.

“Are you not going to drink your hot chocolate?” You pointed to his now cold beverage.

“I was, but it’s cold now.”

“Then I’ll go heat it up for you.”

“And you’ll come back?”

“Of course, you have to fulfill my second question after all.”

HR watched you perk up and off the bed with a mission to provide him a warm drink as he had done for you. Biting down on his lower lip he got under the covers. You returned with a warm mug of hot coco for your crush friend this time with a candy cane in it. HR only looked at you quizzically before you handed the cup over to him, telling him to try it. He took one sip, humming in delight and approval. You grinned taking a seat next to the author.

“Chapter 3: Of Pestilence and Mayhem,” HR had started with a low voice, unknowingly allowing your heart to jump at the tone. “The fates seemed to have decided to toy with Gerard today…” He continued on, expertly reading through each sentence that you hung on to. You fought with sleep that gradually clouded your vision as HR moved on to the next chapter. Midway through the chapter, you had subconsciously scooted closer to HR as he seemed to provide a pretty good source of heat. HR subtly noticed but voiced no rejection of it.

As the novelist moved from line to line, there was a growing battle between your mind and the cloudiness of dreams that threatened to take over. You yawned in audibly accidently causing HR to, but he kept on reading. I don’t want to go home, he’s so warm and his voice sounds so nice… Like velvety chocolate. The heaviness in your eyes won the battle against your resistance, causing them to flutter shut as a sleepy haze took over you. Simultaneously, your head had rocked to the side and fallen gently onto his shoulder as a pillow remained loosely clutched in your arms.

HR turned his head, watching your chest rise and fall as gentle breaths escaped you while you were in a world of dreams. Letting out a little breath, the corners of his lips turned up at the corners as HR shook his head at you. But his thoughts subtly stop him. Was I that boring? Maybe the plot needs to be reworked? HR decided that he’d ask you in the morning as he set aside the manuscript. For now, he pushed the covers away as he moved your gently in a better position to sleep. With one last look, HR had brushed a strand of hair out of your face. HR mused to himself that to anyone watching, they’d see hidden adoration and maybe something else within his blue iris. Maybe a dark and possessive quality he didn’t know he had. Who knows? HR analyzed your sleeping form before sweetly planting a kiss to your forehead, secretly wishing in the depths of his soul that you were willingly his to love. HR’s fallen in love before, it’s just the unfortunate fact that it was something that was never reciprocated to him in his life.

“Goodnight, my little songbird.”

***

Blood-curdling screams had greeted the multiversal author as he descended into sleep. HR’s eyes snapped open, finding himself standing ankle-length in a dark-colored substance. The acrid smell overwhelmed his senses as his eyes slowly focused. It took a few seconds for the taller man to register the foul and metallic smell of blood. He was standing in blood! HR yelped at first trying to move his legs away, feeling as if the fluid had nipped at his skin, almost burning him. But the gruesome fluid was everywhere. Trembling blue eyes looked all around the landscape, finding nothing but a void of black death.

“Pathetic,” the familiar voice sneered. HR’s gaze locked onto Harry, who continued to give him an annoyed look. HR furrowed his eyebrows.

“Excuse me?”

“Pathetic, you always were pathetic. Maybe that’s why your friend Randolf sent you here.” Harry’s cold laugh tuned to the dryness of the atmosphere. He unfolded his arms to pocket his hands, HR watched as a malicious smirk weaved its way onto his doppelganger’s features. “Booting you from Earth-19 to do away with your pitifulness. You can’t even use a computer correctly. How laughable. You crossed to a different earth. Congrats, dead man, so have many others. How could you ever deserve someone like her? She should be with me instead. After all, I was here with her first.”

In a blink of an eye, Harry’s lithe form had vanished in thin air. This is all in my head, I just need to breathe. I’ve dealt with worse; I’ve overcome many. I’m fine. I’ll be fine, I just need to breathe. He calmed his breathing for a moment, Finally turning around, HR found decaying bodies and corpses all around. His breathing hiked again at the scene, his stomach churning. Once more, HR turned to the side only to come face to face with you. You, who had blood spilling out of the corner of your mouth. HR felt his own mouth go dry.

“Why did you leave me?” You asked in a raspy voice. HR remained frozen in place, his body unable to move away from the image of you and all the carcasses. “Why did you run?”

“I-I didn’t run. From what?”

“You let him take me,” HR’s eyes widened as blood gradually stained your chest as if you had been impaled. “You let him use me and now he killed me. You were the reason he came after me.”

“N-no no no,” HR took a step back, your haunting image taking a step forward to him. “You’re safe. You’re asleep next to me. You’re fine. Nothing happened.” Hysterically, he ran a hand through his messy hair, just noticing the blood on his hands. Your blood. He tried to shake it off in fright as you closed in on him.

“Why didn’t you save me?”

“I-“

“Didn’t you promise me to stay?”

“You’ll always be a coward, HR Wells,” HR snapped his head towards the voice. Lo and behold, the one person he hoped to never crossroads with now stood in front of him in all her leathery glory. Gypsy, a legendary Collector. “You see what you did?” The brunette strode close to him. HR felt a million of pins and needles in his limbs. “You’re the reason she died. All because you kept running and running and running. Like a coward. All these corpses were your fault, if only you had learned your lesson the first time.” The author couldn’t move his legs, couldn’t feel them, as if someone had filled them up with lead. His chest felt tight, bile stuck in his throat causing him unable to retaliate. His head screamed at him achingly. He was utterly helpless. “One way or another, I will find you, HR Wells, and I will collect you.” She made a gun gesture, aiming it right at his heart. “Bang.”

HR’s eyes snapped open, feeling himself sticky with sweat. His breathing was rapid, closing his eyes once more he forced himself to calm down. That’s the third nightmare these past few weeks. HR tiredly sighed, reopening his eyes and focusing them in the dimness of the room. The sun was languidly climbing up the sky, yet it was still too early for even the birds to be out and about. HR had barely registered how close you were to him now, essentially tucking yourself close to his body for warmth. Adjusting his body, HR saw how your hair tie had left your braid, allowing your hair to half be settled in the braid and half gently untamed. Soft breathes escaped you, signaling that you were still asleep.

HR ran a hand over his face before he checked the time. The sight of you calmed him but remnants of his nightmare remained at the back of his mind. Women are usually the first ones to leave me in the morning, especially after realizing who they had slept with. He mused that thought to himself as he pulled the blankets over your shoulders. Looking over your peaceful expression, his gaze lingered on your lips before submitting to one wish of many within his being. The novelist gingerly placed a kiss to your lips, slowly backing away to gaze upon you like prince would do to a sleeping princess. But you remained asleep, unaware of his feelings and affections for you. If only you knew, what I would do-. He hated his nightmares, hated those dark thoughts that constantly plagued him from reaching higher. Consistently scaring him from doing things he never imagined of doing. HR with the lightest of touches threaded his fingers through the hair that had left the confines of the braid. I would try anything to be by your side and you at mine.

The emotion behind HR’s eyes suddenly shifted as a thought crossed him. Maybe… Randolf did want to get rid of me. He knows of the Inter-dimensional Travel Execution rule, yet… And here I am, on an Earth that’s not my own. With people who are not my own. And… Father did always favor Randolf since we were kids, even in his will. HR swallowed the bile in his throat as he pursed his lips. I guess the fates were really toying with me all along. A little noise had erupted from your throat as you snuggling closer into HR’s chest, but with sullen eyes he had to gently pull away from your welcoming warmth. The taller man decided a walk would be best to clear his head in order to face the trials and tribulations of today with Team Flash. HR tucked you in and left the room, sparing one last glance over his shoulder before shutting the door quietly.

Would that be her third?

#harrison wells x reader #harrison wells #hr wells x reader #hr wells imagine #hr x reader #hr wells #The Flash #the flash cw #the flash imagine #harrison wells fanfiction #the flash fanfiction #the flash x reader #team flash x reader #team flash #team flash imagine #DCTV #DC comics #dc #harrison wells imagine

[the-resident-wallflower]

I’ve talked to my therapist. I’ve talked to my best friend. At this point I just need to get it out into words so that I can comprehend how I’m feeling.

My therapist told me to not go see or hang out with Mitch unless he explicitly invites me. She said I needed to stop bending over backwards for someone who hasn’t done the same for me.

My first thing that go into my head was a comment his mom made at Easter. She asked me what he got me for Valentine's day and I told her the truth - he told me it was running late in the mail and I never actually got anything. I did get him a gift. She said that he's always been weird about giving gifts on Valentine's day. I haven't asked him about it because I don't care about the gift. I care about the lie.

Easter as well. He assumed we'd be spending the day with both our families (but didn't tell me that assumption until way later). My mom was out of town and dad was working. No Easter dinner for my family. I said I was going to stay home and he was like no..you're going to my parents. But when I assumed he'd be available to meet my parents, he was busy (we usually spend Saturday together). He started out saying he'd be there because I'm his priority and then still hung out with his friend. To this day he hasn't spent more than 5 minutes with my family. I've spent hours with his. I haven't put the effort into making a dinner for various reasons. He and mom both seem to not want to do it. Fuck it, I won't.

Easter was the last time we had sex. He hasn't come to my house in two months and since then we've had sex twice...twice. I feel so goddamn ignored. He told me after rejecting my advances on Valentines day, that he doesn't want our relationship to be about sex. I agree but damn do I want it to include sex.

He refuses to let his dog meet mine. His dog plays nice with other dogs that he's met properly and even used to go to a fucking dog park. But no, the dog will rip mine to shreds. Or my fence is not good enough (it's literally the same as his: chainlink). I'm so fucking annoyed that I've stopped asking.

He said 'same cutie' in response to "goodnight, love ya"...Which is just annoying. He says he loves me but it's so hard to tell when he literally never talks to me about anything not mundane. I'm so tired of being asked to be loved the way they say they do.

He explicitly asked me to come with him to a thing he had to go to. It's an online meeting of sorts. I texted him at 12:50 that I was on my way and he responded : what?. Then proceeded to call me and say that he discovered I didn't actually need to come and he thought I'd join it online and he said "that's why I wasn't texting you"...Like he was just going to leave me hanging and anxious. He admitted it wasn't a smart thing but didn't apologize.

That was yesterday. You know what happened today? He didn't text me till fucking noon. I didn't text him good morning so I didn't get a text till fucking noon. I know he was awake at 7:30. All yesterday he was saying how we have all weekend. Well, now we don't. If I don't make the effort to go to him - we don't hang out.

I can point out good things about him. He's funny and genuine. He takes very good care of his dog even if it's to extremes. He pays when we go out usually and likes to make me laugh. But with each incident, this list is getting smaller. I can't say he treats me well - he doesn't hurt me. He just doesn't care to know me either.

I think I've stumbled into the same place I was with Devin. He's very comfortable with me taking care of him and taking initiative.

I don't know. I'm so confused and angry. I'm upset and resentful. I don't even know how to address this with him because he'll shut down.

At least with Devin I didn't have to worry that I'd be made fun of for watching cartoons.

#the many adventures of emily #fuck my life.

[80s-roger]

Not On My Watch - pt2

Pairing: Dad!Roger and Mum!Reader

note: part two is here and embrace yourselves for the next one! Reminding that R/N means random name and also if you find my syntax or my voc messy and poor, that's because english is not my first language and I don't remember that many proficiency-level words :) enjoy

summary: you’re divorced with queen’s roger taylor due to constant cheating and irrational behaviour towards you. but u have one person in common: your daughter, Laura aka your favourite human on earth. Your marriage with roger had its ups and downs but laura was the happiness in it. Now that she’s 8 and starts to realise how your terms with roger are, you finally tell her that you’re seeing another man except her father and she took it really warmly. She seemed excited to meet the new man unlikely your ex-husband who accidentally learns about it by Laura, the weekend you would leave her at his place: on weekends you had some cute getaways with R/N because the court decided that Laura could stay or visit her dad on weekends and stay with him for five days each Christmas and Easter vacations. On summers he has the right to be with her for two weeks.

masterlist // part one // dialogue prompts

warnings: ehm nothing I guess

words: 2,458

taglist: @madeinheavxn @stacymaytaylor (if u want to be tagged just dm me :) )

Roger couldn't sleep after finding out you were living your life. He believed you would stay focused on Laura instead of fixing your love life. But jokes on him. You aren't committing any crime, don't feel guilty about it. He didn't even know how jealous he can be of you. Laura was with him, they spent a very productive weekend together. Freddie visited them and now he knows too. Roger opened up to his friend.

"She sleeps with that asshole, how can she do that?" He was furious. Laura was playing at the grass while the two friends were sitting at the garden's saloon.

"Pardon me Rog, but she does that with her will. She probably likes that man. Let her." Freddie got your back and that's what he is supposed to do because in this situation Roger is wrong.

"But Laura is too young to meet another man as a stepfather." He attempted to defend himself with his daughter.

"Laura also didn't have to listen to your daily fights before the divorce. Remind me, who was responsible?" Fred mocked him.

"Yes, I know. I'm not bragging for cheating on her, you know how tour life and being a rock star is." Roger explained but Freddie stopped him.

"John's also touring and he lives the rock star life but he's a family man and his heart is always home. Why aren't you like him?" Freddie was right. But Roger wouldn't accept it. He's arrogant.

"I'm not John. Okay?" He looked at Laura while she was playing. "But I love Laura with my entire heart. I don't like it when I can't see her more often..." His face was sad now.

"You could talk to Y/N about it," Freddie suggested.

"She would probably forbid me to see my kid after telling her." He giggled but deep down he believed it.

"Ah don't be ridiculous, she doesn't have the right as long as you give financial support every month for Laura." Freddie laughed but then they stopped talking because they heard your car. "Is s-she here? So early? It's not ten yet." Freddie asked and checked his watch.

"This bitch is really doing it on purpose. I will be right back." Roger got furious and stood up, to go inside his house and invite you in. Laura didn't notice a thing.

Roger opened the front door and what he saw wasn't the best thing in the world. You had the nerve to come with your new partner. Just to make him more jealous than he was all weekend. He turned red. He couldn't talk.

"Is Laura ready?" You asked ignoring his state of mind.

"No, she has no idea you're here. You were supposed to pick her up four hours later.". Roger crossed his arms and stared at the man next to you. A brunette tall man with nice muscles and a nice smile. But he is not Roger.

"Indeed, we just arrived earlier than we expected. Now call Laura, we have to go." You had to be really cold towards him or else you would break down and you didn't want that. You love him so much but you can't be with him. It doesn't work.

"Stop doing this. Fucking stop." Roger was going crazy. He destroyed you but you destroy him more.

"Stop what? I want my child." You arrogantly moved your shoulders.

"You can't keep me away from her as much as you want it. I have four hours left with her, you have to let me spend them with her. I'll bring her to your home." He tried to sound calm but his voice was trembling.

"Are you sure?" You asked confused.

"Yes, you don't have to shove your boyfriend right into my face. He's nice, but not your type." He laughed and that made you uncomfortable.

"Yo, stop disrespecting her or I'll beat you. She has told me stories about you. You're a high-quality rock star but a low-quality husband. Too pity." The brunette man said, trying to defend you but that made things worse. Roger and R/N would beat each other in front of you and the high-class neighbourhood.

"What the hell, stop you two right now. R/N get in the car. I'm coming." You got in the middle trying to stop the tension between these two. The man heard your order and waited for you at the car. "You are such a wanker." Your face was too close to his. There was eye contact again.

"Oh I won't be tonight." He winked and looked at R/N who wasn't looking at you two.

"What do you mean?" You asked confused. "You're supposed to bring Laura home."

"Of course I will. But not without getting what I want." He quickly checked on R/N and without hesitation, he stole a fast kiss from you.

"Fuck off, Roger!" You said and left without saying any other word. Neither Roger nor R/N. He's such a player. You like it.

Roger walked at the garden again, Freddie was showing the flowers to Laura and she looked curious trying to understand each name of a flower. Now that Freddie noticed Roger's figure he walked at him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"She literally brought that asshole to my door." Roger was shaken.

"Wow, did she? What about Laura?"

"I'll drive her at Y/N's." He seemed thoughtful and Fred noticed it.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. "Oh dear, don't tell me you're thinking of-" Fred couldn't believe Roger would invade that way.

"Why not? She just gave me a reason to do it. She still loves me and I know it. Her words mean nothing to me." He looked at his friend, searching for any advice.

"Make sure she'll accept it, or if she resists and tries to stop you, fucking stop, apologise and leave." He had a point. Fred knows about how you two met and how it ended.

Later

"I want to stay a little more daddy..." Laura whined as Roger helped her tie her shoes.

"So do I, but your mommy wants you to go home." He looked her into her same coloured eyes.

"This is my home too, isn't it?" She was sad.

"Of course it is, baby. But you have to grow up a little to decide in whose place you want to stay." Roger explained.

"I love my mum but I want to be with you, we don't spend much time together and I feel sad about it." She leaned towards his shoulder, hugging him tightly. The same thing happens every Sunday night. Roger was emotional after what his girl just said.

"I know but we do call each other every day, I'm not that far." He tried to comfort her as they got in his car.

"You are daddy, you're not with mum. I mean, I'm happy she found R/N but I prefer my family. In one house." Her voice lowered a bit. Roger didn't answer regardless of how much he wanted to.

"Here we are baby." Roger broke the silence after the drive. He carried the bags for her and they took the lift to reach your flat, on the third floor. "Do you know if R/N is at your home now?" He asked his daughter.

"I didn't saw his car, I don't know..." she negatively shook her head.

"It's okay." He smiled at her and here he was. In front of your door. Scared.

"Mum! I'm home!" Laura knocked on the door and Roger heard your footsteps and your laugh. He melted at the sound of it.

"Welcome home baby! Give me a hug!" You opened your arms to hold her tight. "I missed you." You looked at her being safe and sound.

Roger was constantly looking inside the living room and the kitchen, searching for the other man's figure. Until Laura spoke.

"Mum, is R/N here?" She asked.

"No, he left earlier, but he got you a present!" you smiled at her but she didn't look excited about. "What's wrong?" You asked her.

"Can daddy come inside? Please, mommy?" She begged you to bring your ex-husband in the house. You and Roger looked at each other with your blood freezing. That was fully unexpected.

"Honey, he is busy tonight... He is making music with uncle Fred, Deaky and Bri." You tried to kick him out of your house with the kindest way possible.

"Please mum, as a family..." she was sad when she said the word family. Poor her, she's only eight and has to go through this. You put your ego aside and listened to your daughter's wish.

"Baby, you don't have to press your mum if she doesn't want me inside." No, you do want him inside the house or in you.

"No, it's okay, you can come in..." you stood up again and made way for Roger to come in. He gave you a sweet kiss on your cheek before closing the door and leaving his jacket next to it.

"Yey!" Laura shouted fully excited.

"But baby, you have to get to sleep in a little. You have school tomorrow!" You walked with her at the bathroom trying to help her with her night routine.

"I know mum, but I will sleep happily tonight knowing you and dad will keep me company." She smiled at you. She's so happy.

"I'm happy you feel this way." You kissed her cheek.

Meanwhile, Roger was in the kitchen fixing drinks for the two of you. He was silent, supervising the room. There was nothing related to him. Or at least he thought. He was sitting at the balcony now, enjoying the view. West London looks so good by night. He was waiting for you.

"Goodnight baby I love you." You said to Laura before closing her room's door. You passed the kitchen, searching for Roger's figure but not any luck. You felt a warm breeze coming from the living room and you saw him outside the balcony.

"Oh, there you are." He smiled, offering your drink.

"Oh, thanks, guess I need it." You nodded as you were staring at the glass.

"I fixed us some drinks just for a chilling situation. How come needing a drink? I mean, you barely touched them." You both sat at the bamboo chairs your balcony has. Roger was into a conversation with you. And so did you, you really wanted to exchange dialogue. You felt so lonely.

"I don't really think you're the ideal person to talk to right now but I'll settle." You raised your shoulders as your eyes focused at the city's lights.

"I'm all ears, are you okay?" He asked after drinking.

"I bet you're wondering why R/N is not here right?" You turned your body at his side, now facing each other. Just a table beside you.

"To be honest, I am. Is this why you're not okay?" He was confused. But also curious to find out.

"Not that it's your business but I don't let him stay here. Not when Laura is here." You started.

"So? That's what you have to do. Neither do I bring women at my house when she's around." He kind of interrupted you, but you weren't in the mood.

"Not this time Roger, please. If you want to argue with me, just leave." You slightly closed your eyes, showing how tired you felt.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Did R/N do anything? Shall I intervene?" He asked as his hand tried to reach yours.

"No. He was so furious after visiting your place. I guess it's my fault. He felt I was taking advantage of him all this time so you'd be jealous b-but I date him a long time without you knowing." You briefly explained the issue.

"So what happened?" Roger asked looking thoughtful.

"He insisted on staying at my place tonight but I obviously refused. I've explained to him that I can't present him to Laura yet. Not until that diner." You exclaimed.

"So he kinda left forever?"

"No, I reckon it was a disagreement and he'll call tomorrow. But I think he insisted on staying here so you wouldn't appear tonight." You figured out why you guys fought before Roger came at your place with your child.

"Whether I'm here or not, he has to respect your decision. Probably he's jealous." He giggled at the last sentence as he finished his drink. His fingers tried to reach yours, trying to play with them or caress them.

"Jealous of what?" You questioned in confusion. "I'm a divorced mother." The title got you into your feelings. You never wanted to be divorced. Let alone with a child.

"Whose husband tries to reach her." He smiled and oh god, you had to be looking him that moment.

"Why? We ended it in bad terms. We even fight after ending it." You stated.

"I don't care. I can't stay away from you and Laura." His hand covered yours. Your eyes were focusing on his action.

Feeling this kind of pressure, you walked inside trying to calm down. Your heart was pounding fast. You went inside your bathroom, covering your face with some cold water. "Stop overthinking about it Y/N... Relax. He's your man. You love him, he's not a stranger, right?" You whispered to yourself as you tried to catch a breath.

Meanwhile, Roger went into your bedroom, checking out the place if there's anything that belongs to him. Kinda. At your nightstand, there was a frame of him, you and Laura. The day she was born. Roger seemed to be emotional at the sight of the family photo. At the parlour, there was a photo album, recently touched and seen. Photos of him and you when you were dating awakens his huge desire to make love to you. "There's still hope in this mess." He whispered to himself and rushed to the bathroom waiting for you to come out.

You came out looking fresh and calm. There was intense eye contact, a long-lasting one. His hand tried to reach yours but instead, it caught your buttcheeks because you climbed on him with your legs around his waist and your lips against his.

"I fucking missed you." You moaned between your passionate kiss.

"So did I." He said back and walked through your bedroom and gently closed the door with his feet. "I want to make love to you so bad. Please let me." He begged when he gently placed you on bed's pillows.

"Make me love." Your voice was smooth and passionate. You were ready to feel him again, you were craving for it.

TO BE CONTINUED!1!1

#roger taylor #roger taylor x you #roger taylor x female reader #roger taylor x oc #roger taylor x y/n #queen #queen band #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may

[breaniebree]

SPOILER SNEAK PEEK AT CHAPTER 212 of ASC

When Saturday came around, Harry was incredibly curious as to why Sirius needed him.  He hadn’t heard anything back from his godfather since he had called him four days ago and when he showed up in the entrance hall to meet him, he found Sirius was bouncing in his shoes.

“Harry!  Great!”  Sirius exclaimed, tossing an arm around his shoulders even though Harry was taller than him now by two inches.  “Thank you for meeting me!”

Harry only nodded, his eyes on his godfather as he followed him out of the castle and towards Hogsmeade.  “What’s going on?  You’re acting so weird!”

Sirius grinned.  “I’ll explain when we get there.”

“Is it about Voldemort?”

Sirius shook his head.  “For once, it has absolutely nothing to do with him.  Hold onto me, I’ll Apparate us.”

Harry only did as he was told and they soon appeared in the small village near Remus’ cottage.  “Are we going to see Uncle Rem, because I think that he was in his office this morning…?”

Sirius shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “Zee and I are going to spend next weekend at your villa in Barbados and we’re looking forward to it, but when I told her on Valentine’s Day that we were going away for the weekend — it just hit me, Harry.  I’m ready.  In fact, I think that I’ve been ready for a while now, but she wasn’t and now… I want this.”

Harry raised an eyebrow.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I want to ask Zee to marry me.”

Harry’s eyes widened in surprise as instant happiness soared through him.  “Really?”

Sirius nodded.  “I’ve been thinking about it a lot since Christmas.  Zee and I, we talked about it in passing after Remus and Tonks got married, but neither of us was quite ready, but now, I am and… I think that she is, too.”  He pointed to the little jewellery shop at the end of the street.  “Remus said that the lady in there is amazing and if I’m going to find her the perfect ring, we should do it together.  Zee’s taking on the both of us, after all.”

Harry grinned widely, moving to hug Sirius.  “This is the best news!”

Sirius let out a breath of relief.  “I’m glad you think so.  I love her, Harry.  She’s everything I never knew that I wanted — that I never knew I needed — and she loves you so much.  We’re a family and I want to make that official.  I want to be her husband.  I want her to be my wife.”

“I never thought that this day would come,” Harry told him honestly.

Sirius shrugged, rubbing a hand over his rapidly beating heart.  “Yeah, neither did I.  Ready to help me pick out the perfect ring?”

As they headed to the store, Harry thought he was more than ready to help his father do anything that included asking Zee to marry him.

The elderly woman who greeted them, smiled warmly.  “Good morning, gentlemen.  Can I help you find anything today?”

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets.  “Are you Mrs Copper?”  At her nod, he continued.  “A friend of mine had you design an engagement ring for him last summer with a moonstone in it?”

“Ah, the wolf,” Mrs Copper said.  “The ring was quite immaculate; was he not satisfied with it?”

“No, no,” Sirius told her.  “It’s beautiful and absolutely perfect for his wife.  They both love it.  After seeing your work, I was hoping that you could help me design one for my woman.”

She smiled kindly, slipping her glasses on from where they hung from around her neck.  “I’d be delighted.  What did you have in mind?”

Sirius grinned.  “I don’t even know where to start if I’m honest.”

Mrs Copper smiled kindly.  “Well, let’s start with cost.  How much are you looking to spend?”

“Money is no problem.”

Her smile widened.  “Then we have infinite options.  The wolf wanted pink diamonds and a moonstone.  Is your woman a diamond kind of woman?”

“I’d drench her in diamonds if she’d let me,” he told her.  “I want diamonds.”

“Now, there’s many different kinds of metals to choose from,” she said, showcasing the different types in the display case before her.  “We have yellow gold, white gold, rose gold, or platinum.”

Sirius glanced over at Harry.  “What do you think?”

“I think Zee would like white gold the best.”

“I agree,” Sirius said.  “She has beautiful caramel skin that looks great with white gold.”

Mrs Copper smiled.  “White gold it is.  Now we need to choose a setting.  The most common setting is usually the three-stone.  Are you looking for something a little different?”  At his nod, she continued, opening the display before her.  “Depending on what you choose, these are the options.  I can shape the diamond any way that you’d like, into almost any shape imaginable.  Why don’t the two of you browse that display on the left and get a feel for some of my designs and then we’ll chat some more.”

Sirius nodded as he and Harry moved over to the display she suggested.  The rings were shining in beautiful splendour as they looked them over.  “A pear-shape is nice,” Sirius said absently.

Harry smiled.  “It is, but it’s not really Zee.”  He pointed to one in the top left corner.  “Look, that one is shaped like a star — you’re always joking that you’re a star.”

“I am a star, Harry,” Sirius said seriously.  “It is literally my name.”  But he bent to look closer at the ring in question.

Mrs Copper moved over to see what they were looking at.  “Ah, the cathedral star halo set, very beautiful.  The centre diamond gleams and the smaller diamonds encompassing the centre make the star shape.  That is one of the most expensive sets.”

“Price isn’t a problem,” Sirius told her again. 

She nodded and waved her wand around, and soft gold dust began to form a design of the ring in the air.  “White gold, cathedral star halo with a diamond… I usually recommend adding diamonds along the side of the ring like this, as it makes the star really sparkle,” she said, her wand weaving the dust into a design.

Sirius’ breath hitched at the sight.  It was beautiful.  The way the light reflected off the diamonds was breathtaking, and he could immediately imagine it on her finger — him slipping it onto her finger — and he knew that it was the ring.  “That’s it.”

Harry grinned.  From the way that Sirius’ eyes had lit up at the sight of it, he knew that it was the right ring.  “She’s going to love it, Uncle Siri.”

Sirius smiled at him.  “Yeah, I think she is.”

Mrs Copper made a copy of the design before she waved it away.  “Alright, let’s pick the diamond.”

Thirty minutes later, they left the shop and Sirius was grinning like a fool.

“If Zee ever finds out how much money you spent on that ring, she’ll hex you.”

Sirius only kept grinning at him.  “Well, I’m certainly not going to tell her.”

“So it’s going to take a week or so to make it.  When are you going to ask her?”  Harry asked.

Sirius rolled his shoulders.  “When you come home from school for Easter weekend.  It’s right before her birthday and… I want you there with me when I ask her.”

Harry stared at him in surprise.  “Really?”

Sirius put an arm around his son’s shoulders, tugging him close.  “She’s not just marrying me, Harry, she’s taking you on as well.  I know that you don’t need a mum.  I know that you’re old enough to take care of yourself for the most part.  But when I marry her, she will be your de facto mother and I know that you already see her as a mum anyway.  Let’s make it official all around.”

Harry grinned.  “I’d like to be there.”

“Good,” Sirius said happily.  “You can hold the ring box out.”

“Aren’t you going to get down on one knee?”

Sirius snorted.  “You know, you’re pushing your luck here.”

Harry laughed as they walked down the street.  “She’s going to love the ring and she’s definitely going to say yes.”

He smiled.  “I hope so.  She’s the best thing to ever happen to me, outside of you.  I love her more than I can put into words.”

“What are you going to engrave on the ring?”  Harry asked him.  “Mrs Copper said that she could put anything you’d like on it.”

“I have a few ideas.  Now, obviously, tell no one of this,” he began and when Harry opened his mouth to respond, Sirius sighed.  “Fine, Ginny — but no one else.  I want it to be a surprise!  We’re going to ask her the first night you come home.  When I pick up the ring, I’ll show it to you.  Deal?”

Harry nodded.  “Deal.”

[...]

“So, how have things been with Ginny?”  Sirius asked, his eyes on his son.

“Good,” Harry told him, his lips curving into a smile at just the sound of his girlfriend’s name.

“Uh-huh,” Sirius said.  “Well, when you two were — ahem — studying the other night when I called, just how in depth of a study session was it?”

“We were studying.”

“Yes, each other,” he repeated his eyes twinkling in laughter. 

Harry blushed.

“Do I need to make sure that you can practice the contraceptive charm again?”

“No!  We haven’t... we aren’t...”

Sirius nodded, surprised at the relief that coursed through him.  “Good.  But when you’re both ready, I want you both to be prepared, whether that’s next week or next year, got it?”

“Yes.”  He was quiet for a minute before he looked at his godfather.  “I love her.”

Sirius smiled at his son’s words.  “I’ve known that for years.  It’s nice to see you admit it.  Have you told her?”

Harry nodded, looking at his father as they reached the edge of the forest.  “Last week... I had a nightmare and I just needed... her.  She calms me, Uncle Sirius.  I just feel better when she’s in my arms.”

“And?”  Sirius prompted.

“I fell asleep in her bed,” Harry told him.  “Did you know that if you change into an animal, the stairs don’t recognize gender?”

Sirius’ eyes widened.  “No… clever.  So you were in her bed…?”

“Yes,” Harry said.  “And I fell asleep and I told her about my nightmare and I just looked at her and… I knew.  She told me that she loved me back.”

“Yeah?  It’s a pretty incredible feeling, isn’t it?  Hearing those words from the woman you love.”

“I felt like I could fly without a broom,” he admitted with a grin.

Sirius chuckled.  “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Uncle Sirius?”

“Harry,” he said back.

“I saw her tits.”

Sirius glanced at his son in surprise as Harry’s cheeks flushed.  “Oh?”

“They’re magnificent,” he said, almost in reverent awe.

Sirius chuckled.  “And you never saw...”

Harry shook his head.  “Only in the pictures you have.  I was... you know, playing with them and… stuff, and she... I didn’t even...”

“She had an orgasm?”  Sirius finished for him. 

Harry nodded.  “It was... wow.  That time with Mandy it was... it was so fast and so unexpected, and she did all the work, you know, it didn’t even compare… but this... I made it happen.”

Sirius smiled at him and draped an arm over his shoulders,  “Welcome to Manhood.  I consider it an official stepping stone, making your woman come for you.  But I still stress caution and being careful.  I am too young and too damn good-looking to be a grandfather yet.”

Harry laughed.  “We’re not ready for that.”

“Good,” Sirius said, relaxing his shoulders.  “So, did you get her anything for Valentine’s Day?”

Harry shook his head.  “She told me not to.  She said that it’s just a day so not to bother.  It was on Wednesday anyway and we had classes and I barely saw her.  We’re going to have our date when I get back.  She said nothing special, as it’s just a day.”

Sirius raised a brow.  “That is a dirty lie.  Come with me.  We’ll find something perfect.”

It only took them thirty minutes and Harry was surprised by his father’s tenacity.  As soon as he saw it, he knew that it was perfect.  The owner quickly charmed the gift for him and he slipped it into his pocket.

“Now go, find your woman and spend your Valentine’s Day with her.”

“Are you doing the same with Zee?”

“We celebrated on Wednesday.”  Sirius told him.  “Now beat it, go find your girlfriend and take her out somewhere special.”

Harry grinned at him.  “I will.  Uncle Siri?”

“Yeah?”

“Proposing to Zee is the best decision you’ve ever made.”

Sirius grinned.  “I couldn’t agree more.”

#a second chance #harry potter fanfiction #harry and ginny #sirius black #zee zacarias oc

[agreateryesterday]

Dramione - Werewolf/Veela fics

Human Hermione

Instinctive by goldhorse (were Hermione)

*Finished* 3 chapters

Draco and Hermione are turned into wolves and thrown in a zoo as punishment by Voldemort and the death eaters.

Secrets of the Moon by EndlessMoonChild (were Hermione)

(Last updated April 11, 2020) 5 chapters

When Draco stumbles upon Hermione working at a law firm - a lone wolf with no pack, and no knowledge of the magical world - he makes it his mission to help her discover the secrets of her past, while showing her what her future can hold. But, will Draco and Hermione be able to withstand the danger that comes along with knowing who she really is?

Wolf's Mate by FictionAficionado

(Last updated Aug 21, 2019) 54 chapters

The hunt for the horcruxes has gone on for years while Voldemort wages open war to establish his dominion in the wizarding world. When his men capture Harry Potter's best friend, he doesn't think twice before throwing the mudblood to his wolves. However, an unlikely ally emerges in the form of a werewolf. To escape her captors and defeat Voldmort, ever the realist, Hermione can't afford to dwell on the fact that help comes from the creature that raped and impregnated her. [On Hiatus]

An Unsuitable Mate by FictionAficionado

*Finished* 29 chapters

Draco discovers he's part Veela and Hermione is his mate. Tired of having his choices taken away from him, he ignores the fates and marries Astoria instead. Draco is happy with the life he's made for himself till a marriage law threatens to destroy it all by once more forcing the most annoying witch he's ever known back into his life.

Predestined by diemdoll (orphan_account)

(Last updated Jan 11, 2020) 11 chapters

"I would say congratulations are in order, but you won't be making it down the aisle." Madam Monroe told Hermione as her fingers continued to trace the contours of her hand. "You were predestined for another."

Addicted To You By Kittenshift17

(Last updated Dec 7, 2018) 15 chapters

An act of kismet whilst herb gathering sees Hermione interacting with an unknown werewolf. When he bites her while she is in her animagus form, he sets into motion a twisted destiny that binds them together as mates. With Remus and Sirius there to help her through, Hermione's biggest worry is finding out the identity of the werewolf who marked her.

Howl For Me by Kittenshift17

(Last updated June 10, 2020) 28 chapters

The Ministry enacts a Marriage Law, magically pairing couples who'd never in a million years agree to even speak, let alone wed. Paired off with Malfoy, Hermione has to suffer the added indignity of the Ministry banning all contraception and forcing fertility treatment and aphrodisiacs on them all. Draco's secret makes it worse.

As Seasons Change by flawlesslyfallasleep

(Last updated May 6, 2012) 5 chapters

Veela power couple Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have been married for a year and are expecting a daughter, but what happens when the past catches up with them? Will bad blood be enough to taint the small family's love?

Dark Water and Dying Eyebrights by Bex-chan

(Last updated April 21, ?) 10 chapters

One of them is desperately trying to remember their past while the other is forever trying to escape theirs. It's seven years after the war and Draco has managed to avoid almost everyone from Hogwarts, living a lonely life on a small island, far away from the wizarding community. But a familiar face in a cafe window capsizes his world into chaos.

Perfectly Matched by silverstorme

(Last updated Feb 10, ?) 20 chapters

When Auror Draco Malfoy is mauled by a werewolf on a mission gone awry, his partner Harry entrusts his best friend to care for him: Healer Hermione Granger. But now his heightened senses won't allow him to escape the one witch from Potter's crew he'd always kept at a distance, and his new and volatile wolf has decided she's his perfect match.

Affair de Coeur by woodsywintle06

(Last updated Jun 11, 2017) 9 chapters

Hermione is a smart, young witch who just wants to make the best of her last year. What happens when she is faced with the choice to choose the man she thought she loved or her worst enemy who is depending on her to survive. Draco has discovered the veela part of him and his mate is none other than Miss Hermione Granger, will she fall in love and save him?

Red Moon by g-o-t-a-m (werewolf Hermione)

(Last updated Jan 31, 2017) 16 chapters

All were were changed in one night and all have changed together. After the war, they expected things to stay the same, but a recent break out at azkaban changes everything. They all must come together once again and protect each other even if it costs each other their lives. (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Pansy, Luna, Fred and George, and Ginny are all Werewolves)

The Beast by LillyanMalfoy

(Last updated Aug 14, 2018) 26 chapters

The Golden Trio is more divided than ever, and when Hermione gets a surprising new patient, anything could happen.

His

Hers by Shaniyyaahh (prequel)

*Finished* (Last updated Aug 11, 2020) One Shot, 7 chapters

(no summary)

He didn’t even know her and yet...she was already driving her mad.

Tethers by dormiensa

*Finished* 7 chapters

It was perhaps inevitable that Draco and Hermione were a bonded pair. After all, they had a long family history of complicated relations.

A Hard-Fought Victory by Maloreiy

*Finished* One Shot

The rivalry between Gryffindor Army and Slytherin Army was almost as big as the rivalry between 7th years Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. With the clock ticking down in the race for the Hogwarts Cup, an interesting...complication...will affect the outcome of them both.

Evigilatio by darkcivet (FallenInDreams)

*Finished* One Shot

She could Apparate to the other side of the world and he'd still find her. She couldn't run forever. Not from what she wanted. And especially not from him.

An Unlikely Mate by gingersparkle92

(Last updated Dec 16, 2017) 1 chapter

When Hermione goes back to Hogwarts for her eighth year, she never expects to discover that she's the destined mate of her childhood worst enemy.

Lightning by floatsodelicately

(Last updated Nov 8, 2014) 9 chapters

The Black family has been cursed, every male born of Black blood is born a veela and is doomed to die without their mate. Draco has to deal with his veela side, his Death Eater father, his Slytherin front and his muggleborn mate, Hermione Granger.

His Mate by sxgittxrius

*Finished* One Shot

No summary available

Thank Jarila for Veela by Varali

(Last updated Aug 6, 2014) 5 chapters

Hermione is invited by the British Society of Veela to their annual Jarila's Day celebration. Draco is an unwilling benefactor to the same event. When the two meet at the party, Hermione discovers something interesting about Draco's lineage and something ignites between the two of them.

Awaken Mine Soul by otterlyardent

*Finished* 5 chapters

The events that occurred over Easter Hols at Malfoy Manor brought about a completely unexpected turn of events. With Hermione under Bellatrix's wand, Draco and his parents realize just how important she will be to their family. A change of heart among other things leads to the pair spending the summer together, getting to know one another without blood prejudice standing in their way. Will it be magical, or will it all end in tears?

A Little Twisted by Scarlett_Letter

(Last updated Sep 28, 2016) 2 chapters

Draco just barely missed his one chance at freedom. Now on an unwilling path to become a death eater, an old friend is entrusted to him. Add to that certain changes brought out by a brilliant witch that sees more than the act he gives the rest of the world, and a sprinkle of a few meddling friends and you can bet for a happy ending; even if getting there was a little twisted.

To Be With You by Kipsels

(Last updated Nov 6, 2017) 3 chapters

Draco's dealt with a lot of difficult things since the end of the war, including losing his inheritance and going through his Veela maturity. Finding out Hermione Granger was his mate however, that had to top the list.

Silver Roses and Ebony Thorns by MadMaster

(Last updated May 30, 2016) 1 chapter

Draco returns to Hogwarts his sixth year completely different. His father was sentenced to Azkaban, and he recieved an order from the Dark Lord-Kill Dumbledoor. As if his life isn't already fucked up enough, the summer before his sixth year he turns out to be a 2/3 Veela. So not only does he have wings and is deadly passionate he must hide what he is. Which is harder when he realizes a certain curly haired bookworm his his soulmate. Everything he was taught and everything he has ever know quite literally flew out the window.

That Which Destroys Me by Lovenyx125

(Last updated March 21, 2019) 17 chapters

"Mudblood Princess," she breathed out. "Disgraced Prince," he murmured against her pulse. Recovering from their stay in Malfoy Manor is hard enough, but Draco is battling a fatal illness of Voldemort's own design and Hermione may be the cure. Forget salvation, with the way she looked at him just now and the heat that touched him with her hooded gaze, she would be the death of him.

No Force on Earth by GreyBauer, SinBin

*Finished* 2 chapters

When Draco goes too far, Hermione has to learn to let go. She's worth more than what Draco can give her, she knows that. Now if only she hadn't gone and tied her soul to his, that'd be great.

Veela you marry me by Nervousmilkshaketrash

(Last updated Oct 29, 2017) 4 chapters

Draco is veela, shit happens

Neglected by Lost Cookie (Akalish)

(Last updated Jan 19, 2016) 1 chapter

Contrary to popular belief, Theodore Nott did not give a sodding fuck for whatever claims his Death Eater father made, did not follow pure-blood beliefs nor was Theo into the importance of "securing" magical benefits. Neither did he have the shallow impression that Muggles, Muggle-borns and Half-bloods were inferior beings ― not by much, anyway ― and so, he reflected, if ever asked by Professor Severus Snape, Theodore Nott should very much have been sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin.

Inevitable by SilverOwlCity

*Finished* One Shot

His death, he mused, was inevitable.

Business Partners by Debboluh

*Finished* 20 chapters

Andromeda Tonks approaches Hermione with an idea to start an orphange and community centre for children and families who have been affected by Voldemort’s werewolves, other extra-magical children and families are more than welcome! But what secret is their potions master hiding? And will Hermione ever find out? Draco's mood swings are giving Hermione whiplash, first he doesn't care and then he offering his own house!?

Her Veela Knight by thrivingrightnow

(Last updated Nov 25, 2019) 6 chapters

Hermione Granger's been through more than any of her closest friends know. Her life has been woven through loopholes and hidden scars in order to keep everything well. One night, everything backfires when Draco Malfoy accidentally comes to know her dark past. The unlikely ally comes to discover what's been happening with her ever since Ron and Hermione broke up. To make matters worse, Draco's coming down with something.. quite brutal. When they turn to their friends for help, will Hermione open up to the problems that she has faced over the years? Will Draco stick with her all the way?

No Choice by Klazora

*Finished* 31 chapters

The trio and friends return to Hogwarts to finish their final year; it seems at last that they might finally have an uneventful, purposeful year of schooling, at least until Draco Malfoy's world is turned upside down by a family secret. His mother was a Veela, and so is he; now he's in a rather extraordinary predicament. Veelas are matched for life with one person, and he doesn't get to choose who it is. But it gets worse for him; if he doesn't find 'the one' in time, he won't live to become 18. This should be good...

My Savior by ShelbieRae

(Last updated June 20, 2018) 15 chapters

Hermione Granger wants nothing more than to just finish her education and have a normal year. Draco Malfoy simply wants to find his Veela mate before his clock runs out. What happens when they both return to Hogwarts, get Head positions, and have to share a living quarters and duties? Will they kill each other, or will new feelings emerge?

Unwritten by Maloreiy

*Finished* 3 chapters

"He’d always known that hair. He’d stared at it, he’d jinxed it, one memorable day he’d gotten his wand, his hand, and a good portion of his arm, stuck in it. But for the first time he was overcome with a longing to touch it. To touch her. To reach out to her and pull her towards him.” A lovely little romance about a young Veela and the mate he never expected.

Storm by Momo (uglee)

(Last updated Feb 6, 2019) 10 chapters

After being attacked during the batle at the department of Mysteries, a secret hermione Granger preferred to keep long hidden is exposed and it starts a snowball effect that will change the wizard world forever. When her friends find out her secret, their reactions are mixed, some more upset than others about her new status. With her closest friends by her side, Hermione Granger decides to come out of hiding and change the world for the better whike she's at it.

The Trouble With Veelas by hiddenhibernian

*Finished* 4 chapters

Draco just wants to make Hermione happy. Unfortunately, telling her he is a Veela and she is his mate would achieve exactly the opposite, so he has to find another way. Nothing else in Draco's life has gone according to plan, so he ought to have known it would only go downhill from there...

Can't Shake This Feeling in My Bones by brightraven14

(Last updated March 11, 2020) 7 chapters

She saw his distinctive platinum hair amidst the sea of bodies on the platform, almost insulted that he had the nerve to return to Hogwarts after what he had done. But at least that would mean he'd keep to himself this year, right? With Hogwarts being immensely overpopulated this year, they wouldn't even have to interact...

Draco's astonishing birthday by Hbsj

*Finished* One Shot

Theo and Blaise take Draco out to celebrate his 21st birthday, but at the stroke of midnight everything changes and all Draco can feel and need is that captivatingly dark haired gorgeous woman at the bar. Only his parents forgot to tell him about his true heritage...

Trope Soup by MotherofBulls, SaintDionysus

*Finished* 12 chapters

On the twenty-third of September, the year of our Lord, two thousand and seventeen, MotherofBulls and SaintDionysus thought it would be a good idea to get drunk and write as many tropes possible into a single fic. Lord help us. Again...we were drunk while writing this.

Wrath by dormiensa

*Finished* One Shot

If tickling dragons is folly, irking Veelas is madness.

Dangerous by sunalso

*Finished* 17 chapters

Life is, at last, safe and stable for Hermione. She knows who she is and who she loves. Until something starts to follow her in the dark and she finds she might not know herself at all.

Between the Trees by NuclearNik

(Last updated May 18, 2020) 2 chapters

When the tides of war change quickly, Draco makes a split-second decision and steals the freedom of the only person he still cares about, desperate to protect them. Hermione Granger becomes prisoner to a reluctant captor, locked away in the ruins of the one place she'd ever truly felt at home. Trust does not come easy for either of them.

His Veela Heritage

His Veela Heritage: M Rated Outtakes by RiverWriter

*Finished* 31 chapters, 2 chapters

His entire world shifted and he was suddenly certain that his life was no longer really his own, it belonged to her. He could only hope she'd forgive him, could only hope she'd accept him. Because he was a veela and Hermione Granger was his mate. The only woman who had any chance of truly making him happy was the same girl he'd spent half a lifetime tormenting. Karma was a bitch.

As the title suggests this is an M Rated outtake from my story "His Veela Heritage" written as a gift for Weestarmeggie's birthday. This may become a collection- Now officially a collection!

ICW's interfere by lonelyroads, LonesomePhantome

(Last updated Oct 8, 2019) 4 chapters

The ICW -or- The International Confederation of Wizards' high court decided to not trust Albus Dumbledore any longer after the Triwizard fiasco and sent some of their own to keep an eye on him and fix up all of Britain's Ministry of Magic's mistakes.

Between Love and Abuse by Fanfrick

(Last updated Jan 30, 2020) 2 chapters

Hermione Granger wanted one year without drama. One year without everything going wrong. One year knowing what was going to happen. She wanted a safe and normal year, but nothing is normal after Draco Malfoy kisses her. All of the sudden, her world is thrown inside out and she is left questioning everything she ever knew. Draco has Veela running through his veins. He had wished it would never be active. Of course not all wishes become true. Now he has to fight deal with not only returning to Hogwarts after the war, but also with finding his mate. Though he never expected that both could possibly be connected, when Hermione Granger smacks him he learns he must start expecting the unexpected

The Irregular Malfoy Gene by Grangermalfoy1

(Last updated Dec 12, 2018) 22 chapters

A Malfoy with the veela gene has been popping up irregularly in their bloodline since the 17th century. Draco Malfoy is one of the rare male veelas, and has until his 18th birthday to find his mate, and convince her to be his, forever. Finding her won't be the problem for this particular veela, it's convincing the stubborn witch to accept him that's going to be the hard part!

Missing You by Athenniene

*Finished* One Shot

Hermione has a visitor in her office. Draco just wants to see her one last time.

Story Challenge: I'm A Veela, And Karma's A Bitch by WritersObsession2002

*Finished* One Shot

"Granger, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" I demand, feeling blood rushing up my neck and ears despite myself. She glares at me. "When were you going to tell me?" she retorts hotly. I swear my heart plummted to my toes. "Tell you what?" "Don't!" she hisses. "When were you going to tell me that you're a Veela, and that I'm your mate?"

The Great Work by HallowQueen

(Last updated Feb 7, 2017) 2 chapters

Voldemort punishes Lucius for the Department of Mysteries and losing the diary by letting Greyback bite his only son, causing Draco to lose the one thing he could always count on: his blood. Struggling with his identity an given a task he cannot complete, he is left turning to his godfather to stave off the beast and drawn to the one person he was cruelest to: Hermione Granger.

What Happened to Us? by elfhunter05

(Last updated Nov 22, 2018) 19 chapters

Draco Malfoy finds out he is a Veela... His parents think they know who his mate is... Professor McGonagall sets up arrangements in Hogwarts... Will it work?

Undisclosed Desires by Mila_Reeves

*Finished* One Shot

Draco tried to stay away, but she was his mate and he was ready to show her what that meant.

Choices by MidnightValkyrie

(Last updated May 16, 2020) 20 chapters

The choices you make shape your future. After so long of having them stripped from you, you'll do anything if it means you get to be the master of your own destiny for once.

Veela, My Veela by LucindaRemyJohnson

*Finished* 3 chapters

Draco's got one hell of a problem, and he's really hoping Hermione can help him. These waters are citrusy.

Following by writerspassion18

*Finished* One Shot

Draco's obsession with a certain brunette is a little unhealthy. It may just be animal instincts, or that's what he tells himself at least.

Beautiful Disaster by ashleyfanfic

(Last updated May 30, 2019) 26 chapters

Veela!Draco! discovers that his mate is the least likely person on the planet, and the discovery leads him and his father in new directions...

Unequivocal by irene_doe

(Last updated May 20, 2020) 6 chapters

Hermione thought her biggest issues this year would be being stuck in a dead-end job and not quite getting along with her new officemate, Draco Malfoy. However, the Ministry is about turn her tidy and contained life upside down with the announcement of the new Marriage and Family Law, and there's more trouble brewing as outbursts of uncontrolled magic begin to wreck havoc in the office. Draco has been reassigned to Corporate Services after an Auror mission went spectacularly sideways; at least, that's what he's telling everyone. The truth is hardly as straightforward and Granger has him increasingly on edge, so naturally, he was only too pleased to learn of the new Law that was going to out him as a Creature to the woman he loves.

The Things We Do to Each Other by badthingfine_as_hell

(Last updated May 30, 2019) 5 chapters

Veela blood in the Malfoy family has been dormant for generations. But the stress of the wizarding war has caused Draco's to manifest, and he must cope with being an ex-Deatheater outcast and a secret magical creature. Meanwhile, Hermione Granger is beyond excited to return to Hogwarts for a final year without the looming threat of Voldemort. But when something completely unprecedented happens at the Welcoming Feast, her hopes for a normal year disappear.

Count Your Blessings Not Your Flaws by FizzyBee

(Last updated Feb 5, 2017) 7 chapters

Ron was a prat. There wasn't much more that could be added to that, other than a few choice expletives. Hermione had always been know as a genius, so it should have come as no surprise that a solution was on the imminent horizon. To the person asking nor to the person agreeing. Either way, Draco was happy. Things spiral out of control when it turns out that Ron isn't entirely incompetent, though.

Dungeon Dragon by Starkling

(Last updated April 20, 2019) 140 chapters

They had been stumbling around blindly for too long, they should have made it to the rendezvous by now, Hermione thought nervously before she took out her wand, placing it on her palm. "Point me." She whispered. When her wand spun in a circle, pointing off to her far right, she got miffed. They'd gone too far West. Gesturing for Zacharias to follow over her shoulder, she crept quietly though the woods. Keeping her eyes and ears peeled for any sign of humans or wildlife. "Granger! Look out!" Hermione snapped her head in Zacharias's direction just in time to see a look of horror cross his face, before a seemingly grey blur came crashing straight for her. It grabbed a hold of her waist and Hermione screamed bloody murder, before promptly being knocked unconscious by a jet of red light, hitting her square in the chest.

The Reluctant Veela by sapphirephoenix

(Last updated May 12, 2020) 28 chapters

Draco Malfoy has come into his father's Veela legacy, and is fighting it at every turn. The Fates aren't giving him an inch though, and neither is Hermione Granger, his destined mate!

marked by Anonymous

*Finished* One Shot

'“Perhaps you missed it over the last nine years, but I’ve cared for only you. It’s worth mentioning as well that I have forced myself not to get too close in case you did find your mate.” His brows drew together. “I did miss that.”

The Silent Call by UnanticipatedRavenclaw

(Last updated April 26, 2020) 13 chapters

Hermione has just transferred into the DoMLE as an Investigative Analyst. She's meant to be the eyes that find connections between cases but she ends up finding an unexpected connection of her own. Join her as she navigates her new job, the potential of what could be, and discovering the long lost history of what blood purity in the Wizarding World really means. A veela-lite slow burn love story between Hermione and Draco.

Key To Happiness by Marvelgeek42

*Finished* One Shot

A lot of the things in his life were things he would never have expected, but honestly? This was so much better.

Lessons in Lycanthropy by bentnotbroken1

(Last updated July 4, 2017) 8 chapters

The blame, Draco would later muse, fell on Theo’s shoulders. If it hadn’t been for his insistence that they sneak out and throw what the muggles called a “kegger”, none of them would have been in the forest that fateful night. But Theo had insisted and that was why he now had the urge to howl at the moon.

Sang et Lumière by Freya_Ishtar

(Last updated May 8, 2019) 9 chapters

*8th Year* Late one night, Hermione hears a sound that chills her bones—a howling from the Forbidden Forest, yet all werewolves fled at the end of the War. When she finds Draco stumbling back into the castle the next morning, she becomes his confidante . . . and something more.

Beware the Howling Night by Entwinedlove

*Finished* One Shot

Draco drags Hermione through the woods

Kismet by MrsRen

(Last updated Sep 28, 2019) 21 chapters

Kismet; destiny, or fate. Hermione begins uncovering secret after secret, eventually finding herself trapped between her sense of duty to her family, the war that's breaking out across Wizarding Britain, and discovering what sacrifice and love truly mean.

Scar Tissue by TheWildChild

(Last updated Dec 7, 2017) 35 chapters

A few years ago, Draco's life changed for the worst. Still, he could live with it, he could adapt. But when another werewolf comes to Hogwarts to teach the students, it starts to get dangerous. Their absences and behavior towards each other raise some eyebrows and Draco is afraid that a curious mind might even end up seeing right through him.

Containing The Beast Within by xLitheKitty33

*Finished* One Shot

Hermione Granger was his everything, his mate, his. He was hers. Draco would laugh at the fact it sounded like a joke, but it actually wasn't a joke. To be honest, he wouldn't exactly complain. After all, at least it meant he wasn't alone, even in a full moon that he couldn't recall what happened during.

LUPINE by LilithShade

*Finished* One Shot

Draco was not an Alpha, not really. To truly take the mantle of Alpha one needed a pack and he was alone, utterly alone. Yet he had killed Fenrir, ripped his sire’s heart clean from his chest with his own clawed hand during the Battle of Hogwarts. That violent act had imparted on him an ancient magic. Pack magic. Alpha magic. He had first caught her potent scent that very night, it was a pure beacon amongst the oppressive metallic tang of blood and decay. He had known in that moment what it meant, that she was his. His mate.

At Heart We're Human by xLitheKitty33

*Finished* One Shot

The enigma that is Draco Malfoy once captured her attention a long time ago. Perhaps it was because he was the one mystery she never solved that her veela set sights on him. Either way, it was hard to keep away, but they at least kept each other's sanity intact.

A Certain Point of View by RZZMG

*Finished* One Shot

Draco is an unfaithful husband, and Hermione is an unfaithful wife... but then, that depends entirely upon your particular point of view, doesn't it?

With Teeth by dulce_de_leche_go

*Finished* 5 chapters

Infected during the war by Fenrir Greyback, Draco survived one struggle to find another. His return to Hogwarts and so-called “normal” life was a cute attempt to move on but, as always, one insufferable woman turns that on its head as well.

The Deal by Snowflake_Dazzle

*Finished* 15 chapters

In order to win the war, Hermione strikes a deal with Draco Malfoy. Who turns out to be a Veela.

Breadcrumbs by Sharah

*Finished* One Shot

Draco was practically Hansel, dropping breadcrumbs of knowledge for his mate.

Mend by MufinXoxo

(Last updated April 5, 2020) 2 chapters

After the war, things aren’t going quite as Hermione expected. The introduction of a new Ministry legislation that allows ex-convicts back into society, coincides a little too well with a mysterious series of dark events in the world of magical beasts. To make things even more complicated, enter Draco Malfoy, who is carrying a secret he is willing to take to the grave.

Not To Me by naarna

*Finished* 6 chapters

The War is over, Voldemort defeated, and everyone settling into their post-War lives, with Hermione taking up a position at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Yet, when she comes across Draco's name in the confidential register of creatures, she leaves everything behind to go off on a search for him...

True Face by Ariel_Riddle

*Finished* 2 chapters

A/U Voldemort wins. When things take a horrifying turn for the worse at the final battle, Hermione must go under cover as a Muggle in order to survive. Ten years later, she cannot escape notice forever, especially when Praetor Malfoy has troubles of his own that prompt him to seek out the mysterious Muggle Healer, Piper Daniels.

The Girl Who Cried Werewolf by aru_dight

(Last updated June 17, 2018) 11 chapters

Draco Malfoy was far from a Prince Charming in disguise. He was a crude-mouthed beast who terrorizes women in their dreams, attacks their senses, and captures their heart never to set them free. Or that was just her?

Post: Part 1

#dramione #draco #malfoy #hermione #granger #draco malfoy #hermione granger #otp #writing #imagine your otp #fanfic #werewolf #veela #harry potter #harry #potter #fan fiction #fanfiction #mate #abo #alpha/beta/omega #mates #were #wolf

[hforhonesty]

Book Review #1 | Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

“Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.” [official synopsis of the book]

Full title: “Carry On: The rise and Fall of Simon Snow.”

Or, as I often refer to it, the death of me.

I can already hear my friend A. complaining that I read this book at least twice a year – which is odd, I get it, but I also can't help it. She says that I'm obsessed with it...

... She’s right. But there's a reason if the motto of my brand new blog is "H for Honesty", so I promise that I won't let my obsession take over the review. Scout's honor!

Anyway, we have to straighten some things out before we settle down to work, since I know that there are people out there who are not appealed by this book because of its similiarities with the Harry Potter Saga.

The Chosen One and the prophecy themes, the analogies between characters such as Penelope Bunch and Hermione Granger, the Drarry vibes, the English school of magic...

So if you want to complain about these similiarities, then stop reading, watching tv shows and movies or even breathing because, guess what?, it's literally impossible not to be influenced by others, especially if you are a writer.

I think that inspiration is good; it means that you've reached the heart of your readers and left a permanent mark on it. As a wanna-be writer I can only aspire to do such a great thing as inspiring someone to the point that they want to share their own stories.

Speaking of Rainbow Rowell being inspired by Jk Rowling, well, it doesn't mean that she plagiarised her work – far from it. Rainbow's World of Mages is something fresh, modern, unexplored. It has cliches just like any other great story, but instead of running in circles it goes beyond them.

This is why the first character I want to introduce is Agatha Wellbelove, who’s supposed to play the role of the protagonist’s love interest. I’m gonna be honest with you guys – I didin’t like her at first, like not at all.

It’s hard to explain without spoiling the book but I’ll try my best, alright?

Agatha is the only daughter of one of the richest and most important families of the world of mages. Her father is a doctor and her mother is very invested in the social part of their community, hence the charity works such as having poor, orphan Simon stay at their house during Christmas break.

Beautiful, popular, kind. She had to be all these things for her whole life because everything had already been set up for her. Even her relationship with Simon was inevitable. I know it’s silly but think of Shrek: like Fiona, she had to play the role of the damsel in distress locked in the highest tower of the castle, awaiting for her knight in his shiny armour... only to be his reward at the end of the story, when the magical war is over... if he manages to survive.

But Agatha is more than that.

“Lucy disappeared?” I say.

“Worse,” Mum says. “She ran away. From magic. Can you imagine?”

“Yes,” I say, then, “no.”

She wants to spend time with her normal friends, go to a normal school, be a normal person without the burden of magic on her shoulders. But she can’t, of course, because everyone would think that she’s insane, so she’s stuck in a world where she doesn’t belong.

Magic is a religion.

But there’s no such thing as not believing – or only going through the motions on Easter and Christmas. Your whole life has to revolve around magic all the time. If you’re born with magic, you’re stuck with it, and you’re stuck with other magicians, and you’re stuck with wars that never end because people don’t even know when they started.

I honestly didn’t understand her character at first, because c’mon, if someone came to me and told me that I could attend Hogwarts/Watford and have magical powers if I wanted, I wouldn’t even hesitate to answer hell, yeah. But this is another matter, ofc.

The point is that Rainbow Rowell’s characters are what I’d like (and dare) to define «the apotheosis of relatability». They are not just fictional characters. When they think, when they talk, when they act... they seem extremely human in my head, they seem to bloody exist, as if they weren’t made of paper...

I think that this effect is mostly due the fact that the book was written in first person singular. Yeah, I know that most people avoid this type of point of view like the plague, but believe me when I say that Carry on is 100% worth it.

Every chapter mirrors the thoughts of the main characters, from Simon’s to the Mage’s, and is shaped by them. For instance:

When Simon is talking, his words are articulated in short and/or mostly broken sentences.

He doesn’t reply – he must still be working up to a bluster.

Snow blusters like no one else. But! I mean! Um! It’s just! It’s no wonder he can never spit out a spell.

When he’s thinking, the pages are filled with long and elaborated phrases, which can be seen especially in the first chapters of the book;

Baz, on the other hand, has the opposite problem. He comes up with the most complex sentences when he’s speaking, while his thoughts are often interrupted by the use of round brakets, which is undoubtedly of my favourite features of his chapters.

So even though he seems this cool and charming and extremely confident and super duper talented and handsome magician, this is just his façade. In reality, he’s the type of guy who would rather be alone during meals because he’s too self-conscious and doesn’t want his family to see the fangs that come through when he’s eating.

It’s no secret that Baz is very secretive when it comes to his feelings or anything that concerns his private sphere, as he always weighs his words before he speaks up. But when the crosstalk is between him and Simon, there’s literally nothing in the world that Baz loves more than teasing him.

“I know what you are,” I snarled.

His eyes locked onto mine. “Your roommate?”

I shook my head and squeezed the hilt of my sword.

Baz stepped into my reach. “Tell me,” he spat.

I couldn’t.

“Tell me, Snow.” He stepped even closer. “What am I?”

I growled again and raised the blade an inch. “Vampire! I shouted. He must have felt the force of my breath on his face.

He started giggling. “Really? You think I’m a vampire? Well, Aleister Crowley, what are you going to do about that?”

I love the dynamics between Baz and Simon because their relationship is so genuine and thriving, absolutely compelling. You can see the deep impact that they have on each other from page one. Yes, they are roommates (oh my god, they are roommates), but they are enemies too, so they don’t really know how to deal with each other beyond their rivalry, especially when they have to team up against a common enemy.

These dynamics are way funnier when you consider that they concern a third character too. Yes, this is the moment I introduce you to the person that was recently hospitalized due to severe back pains caused by the burden of carrying Simon Snow’s bullshit on her shoulders from day one: Penelope Bunce.

She told me later that her parents had told her to steer clear of me at school. “My mum said that nobody really knew where you came from. And that you might be dangerous.”

“Why didn’t you listen to her?” I asked.

“Because nobody knew where you came from, Simon! And you might be dangerous!”

“You have the worst survival instincts.”

“Also, I felt sorry for you,” she said. “You were holding your hand backwards.”

As you can see, I love Penny. She’s clever, she’s talented, she’s this amazing young woman who is not afraid to walk with you toward eternal damnation or help you hide a corpse or do both at the same time. Because she’s all that – and more than that. She’s everything.

Penny is the kind of person who, right after you say that “curiosity killed the cat”, would rejoin that “satisfaction brought it back”. She is exactly the character that I needed as a role model during both my childhood and my adolescence: stubborn, curious, terribly ambitious... For some time I had been convinced that these were negative traits, but it’s mostly thanks to Penny that I’ve started to realise that they are good qualities instead.

I see a lot of myself in Penelope, and I could never thank Rainbow Rowell enough for creating her characters.

I could never thank Rainbow enough for writing about this amazing world and sharing it with us. And I will never stop thanking her for deciding to give us a sequel, Wayward son.

In the meanwhile, thank you. Yes, you: the person reading this review. I hope you enjoyed it! If so, follow me for new pieces :)

With love,

M.C.

P.S. I apologise for the inappropriate use of the editor but it appears that tumblr hates me.

P.P.S. My friend A. says hi – and wants you to know that the only reason she can stand the Mage is because his name is David... you know, like David Dobrik. I can’t even.

#carryon #carry on #simon snow #baz pitch #rainbow rowell #rainbowrowell #world of mages #waywardson #penny bunce #the mage #magic #review #spoiler free #snowbaz #chosen one #fantasy #lgbtq #drarry #harry potter #hogwarts

[juleshighmcreold]

a bit about juliet highmore

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: juliet elizabeth highmore

Eye Color: green

Hair Style/Color: blonde & straight

Height: 5′2

Clothing Style: cute and comfy (usually dresses or jeans with a button down shirt)

Best Physical Feature: her eyes 

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: being attacked 

Bad Habits: biting nails, looking over her shoulder a lot

Ambition for the Future: to be free of anxiety and go back to her care free ways

Biggest regret: visiting the ministry the day hermione got attacked and witnessing it

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: 'i hope gale is okay’

What They Think About the Most: how much she has to do

What They Think About Before Bed: 'i hope gale is okay’

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: her sense of adventure

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: both, she loves spending time with gale as just the two of them, but also loves spending time with gale and alec as a trio

To be Loved or Respected: loved

Beauty or Brains: brains

Dogs or Cats: dogs

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: yes, usually little white lies to protect people’s feelings but she’s only told Gale about her dyspraxia

Have scars/birthmarks: a small birthmark on her right hi, and a lot of scars on her knees and elbows from some particularly bad falls she’s had over the years

Believe in Themselves: yes!

Believe in Love: absolutely

Want Someone: yes, someone she’s been in love with for years gale

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: the occasional karaoke gig!

Done Drugs: no

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: originally tried to when she joined hogwarts, attempted to make friends with the other snooty ravenclaw girls in her year, but then realised that the lives they led were really quite boring and there is much more to life than studying, so found a bunch of guys from hufflepuff who have been her best friends ever since

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color: light yellow

Favorite Music: musical soundtracks (matilda is her favourite)

Favorite Animal: dogs

Favorite Drink: strawberry milkshake

Favorite Food: danish pastry

Favorite Place: her bed at home with gale

Favorite Sport: quidditch (though she can’t play it at all due to dyspraxia)

Favorite Season: autumn

Favorite Holiday: easter

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: kind, caring and loyal. not much else matters to jules

Best Eye Color: blue

Best Hair Color: brown

Best thing to do With a Partner: go on adventures together, or sit at home and cuddle by the fire (depending on the season)

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: my family

I hate: feeling scared all the time

I feel: ready for my last year at hogwarts

I hide: my anxiety and dyspraxia

I miss: being able to walk outside the castle by myself

I wish: i was confident and care-free like i used to be

QUESTIONNAIRE FOR THE MUSE:

What do you look like? (Include body type, frame, hair, eyes, skin, age, and distinguishing features): i have a reasonably slim body, but it’s a bit pudgy in some places. my hair is blonde and straight, my eyes are blue and not very good– i should really wear glasses but i don’t like how they look. my skin is clear probably from all the mud i used to play in when i was younger. i’m one of the oldest in the year group being born in september, but i love it. my distinguishing features are most definitely my hair and my smile.

How do you dress most of the time?: i usually wear dresses or jeans with a nice shirt, whatever’s comfy. i don’t dress to impress!

How do you “dress up”?: i wear formal cocktail dresses

How do you “dress down”?: pyjamas. that’s all i need to say.

What do you wear when you go to sleep?: either the clothes i was wearing that day or pyjamas. really depends on where i’m sleeping and how exhausted i am

Do you wear any jewelry?: i wear 3 pairs of earrings and several rings, and then if it’s a special occasion, i’ll wear a necklace when i go out.

In your opinion, what is your best feature?: my smile

How many siblings do you have?: i have one older brother, but bentley is kind of like a brother to me too.

What is your father like?: he’s lovely. he’s busy a lot of the time with work, but he’s always fun to play with, and i’m definitely a daddy’s girl.

What is your mother like?: mum is really awesome. although she works a lot, she always takes time out of her schedule to check that i’m alright and every few weekends we meet up in hogsmeade for ice cream. i can’t go too long without seeing her.

Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?: it’s incredibly messy with clothes thrown all over the place, but it’s home for me.

Are you emotional, depressed, ect?: i’m a very emotional person, and i’ve learnt that i’ve got ptsd and anxiety.

Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?: i’d say i’m straight, i’ve never thought about my sexuality really. i wouldn’t care what i was though, i’m really open about that sort of thing, and know that my friends and family would love me no matter what.

How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?: i’m ticklish everywhere. literally everywhere. mainly around my waist, but my feet are super ticklish too.

What do you do when you are bored?: i go to gale & alec’s dorm. the amount of times i’ve just sat on the spare beds and annoyed them is too many to count. i really should just move into their dorm at this point, i’d never be bored then

What do you envy most?: i envy how confident people are, and i want to be that way again.

#tw: anxiety #tw: ptsd #sdhqtask1 #task #musings

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 1

okay so wow ummmm i started writing this sometime before christmas so it’s set at that time, idk i just had this idea about this story and went for it. it’s not gonna be long, not like a million parts, probably maximum five, im writing the very end of it now so i thought i would start posting it and im also trying to makeup for not bringing a new boundaries chapter lol but that’s also coming i swear!!! anyway, enjoy this short story of mine, i hope you’ll like it!!

masterlist

Christmas is always the same for me. I come home a few days before, spend most of my time on the couch watching reruns on my favorite series, I watch my younger brother, Eric come in and out of the house as he keeps meeting up with his friends, being a popular kid. I eat basically everything I can find in the kitchen and just… forget about the world. Then we have family dinner at our place with all my uncles, aunts and cousins, the house turns into a chaos for one evening and then being so selfless I help Mom clean the mess up in the morning while Dad is sleeping his hangover off, because as a host, he must have a drink with every guest. Then we watch Home Alone together and boom, Christmas is already over.

This year, I expect everything to be the same when I throw my suitcases in my old Honda Civic and head home for the holidays.

“Charlie, your family literally lives forty minutes from here, but you pack like you can’t come back if you forget something.”

I roll my eyes at Maddi’s comment. Looking up at her I just stick my tongue out as I close the trunk of my car. She is shivering, because she didn’t bother to put on her coat to help me bring my stuff down. Her long brown hair is all over her shoulders, and she has some mascara on her cheeks, probably from last night. She never cares what she looks like at home and that’s the kind of people I like to surround myself with. I’m always a hot mess at home and I just don’t get those who try to look fine when at home.

“Have fun at your sister’s,” I tell her hugging goodbye. She is leaving to New York tomorrow morning to spend the holidays at her sister who just got married this year and insisted on having their family gathering in their place this year.

“They’ll have booze, so I’m fine,” she scoffs. She is not always this grumpy, she is just not in the mood to fly to NYC on one of the busiest days of the year.

“Alright, see ya next year!” I wink at her getting into the car. She steps aside and waves for me as I leave the small parking lot of our apartment complex.

I sing along with Adam Levine while listening to some Maroon 5 on my way to the house where I grew up. I moved out after high school. Not because I hated living with my family, but I felt like this is a step I should be taking at that age. The start was rocky, I had my ups and downs, but all in all I didn’t regret it. I met Maddi, she moved to Toronto from Ottawa and was looking for someone to share a flat with. I was hesitant to live with a stranger, but we soon became best friends and I was eager to have new people in my life after my graduation. This is how we ended up together.

My heart warms as I turn into our old street. I loved living here, I have a lot of good memories from my childhood and I’m thankful I don’t have anything to complain about regarding my younger years.

I park next to my mom’s car and when I get out I see the curtains move in the window of the living room. A moment later the door opens and my dad walks out holding his arms out for me.

“Chipmunk! Hi!” he greets me with a wide smile and I basically get lost in his arms. He is so much taller than me, I look like an elf next to him. I inherited my mom’s height so I stopped at 5’6, have been that tall since I was sixteen. My brother, on the other hand, the little devil is 6’2 at fifteen, turning sixteen soon. Life is unfair, I could be a model with legs to live for if only my DNA took more from my dad.

“Hi Dad. You smell like cookies,” I chuckle. Letting go we both go to the trunk to get my stuff from the car.

“Because your mother is trying to turn the house into a gingerbread house,” he sighs grabbing both of my suitcases and we head inside.

“Why? She hates gingerbread.”

“Because your brother has his girlfriend over and she is trying to make everything so festive,” he says rolling his eyes as we finally get inside. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

“Girlfriend? Since when does Eric has a girlfriend?” I gasp feeling pretty much left out. No one told me Eric is dating a girl, but they keep updating me about the tiniest stuff in the group chat, like how a cat crossed the backyard last week. Who cares! I want to hear the tea about Eric’s love life!

“About three months. She is nice though, but your mother goes crazy every time she is over.”

“Three months? I’m offended, dad.”

“I thought he already told you!” he defends himself setting my stuff down.

“Charlie!” My mom comes barging out of the kitchen in the apron she got for Christmas a few years ago. Embracing me in a tight hug she kisses my forehead. “Are you hungry? We have some leftover carbonara, but I haven’t started making dinner yet. I’ve been cooking all day.”

“I heard you are into gingerbread lately.”

“Yeah, you want some? It turned out pretty good,” she smiles at me tugging her short blonde bob behind her ears. Her blue eyes are shining like a diamond, she is always so happy to have me home. It was a bit hard on her, watching her first kid leave the house, Eric said she kept checking in on him in the night the first month after I left. She got used to it by now, but she is always treating my arrival as a celebration, though I come home pretty often, namely to every birthdays, their anniversary, Easter, Christmas and a whole month in the summer, but I guess it’s not enough for her.

“Eric! Charlie is here!” she shouts upstairs for my brother. “So, hungry?” she asks again.

“Yeah, I could eat.”

We all move into the kitchen as my mom warms up a plate of pasta, Dad tests the gingerbread and I assume he doesn’t taste anything for the first three times, because he keeps eating it.

“How is Maddi? Is she going home for the holidays?” Mom asks handing me the food and getting back to decorating the rest of the gingerbreads.

“She is going to New York to her sister, Lara.”

“The one that got married this summer?” she asks.

“Mhm,” I hum with my mouth full.

I hear footsteps on the stairs and I quickly swallow the pasta, not wanting to look like a chipmunk when I meet Eric’s girlfriend for the first time. Take a guess why my dad calls me Chipmunk, I’m a full-face eater.

“Chipmunk!” Eric laughs walking into the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him.

“Shut up,” I spat. Standing up we exchange a quick side hug, this is the most we ever do. The moment I let go of him I see a girl walk in behind him.

She has long brown hair parted on the side, she is almost taller than me, the nice knitted turtleneck dress she is wearing was a great choice, it allows Eric to gape at her figure, but the turtleneck makes it more conservative for my parents. Smart girl.

“Charlie, this is my girlfriend, Aaliyah. Aaliyah, this is my sister, Charlotte.”

I hop off the stool and hold out a hand for her that she takes with a smile.

“Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh really? I hope you didn’t believe everything this dummie told you,” I scoff looking at Eric.

“Don’t worry, from what he told me about you he is obsessed with you,” she winks at me making Eric’s eyes go wide.

“What? No I’m not!”

Aaliyah steps closer to him hugging his waist with a bright smile on her face.

“Oh, don’t be shy, on our first date you mentioned her a million times. It’s okay, baby,” she giggles to herself making me instantly love her. Roasting Eric together can be our thing!

“Eric, it’s okay to love your sister to death,” I chime in enjoying the situation more than I should be, probably.

“Aaliyah, are you staying for dinner?” Mom asks smiling at her and offering her some gingerbread. She shakes her head no but takes a cookie.

“No, my brother is also coming home tonight, so I have to go home. But thank you.”

“Oh, okay.” I can tell she is disappointed that she has to go. I guess Mom loves Aaliyah, and from what I saw I can’t blame her. In fact, she might be too good for Eric!

We all stay in the kitchen while I finish my late lunch. I chat with Aaliyah finding out that she and Eric go to the same school, the school I also attended, and that she and Eric have math together. Aaliyah tutored Eric for one of the tests that ended up with him asking her out and the rest is history. She is very nice, well-mannered and pretty mature, that’s why I don’t know how well it all sits with my immature, ass little brother’s persona. Okay, I might exaggerate, he can be fine. Sometimes.

“I’m really sorry, but I have to head home now. But that you for everything, Mrs. Parker and see you on Tuesday, right?” Aaliyah nicely says standing up from the table.

“What is on Tuesday?” I ask.

“Oh, I forgot to mention, we are having dinner at Aaliyah’s with her family, is that alright, Chipmunk?” Mom caresses my cheek and I just shrug. Not that I have any special plans for the holidays.

“I thought we are having the usual family dinner.”

“Oh no.” Mom shakes her head. “We are skipping that this year. Aunt Mary and Lance are in Switzerland, your cousins Harry and Donald are too occupied with their studies, or that’s what they say. And then…”

“Okay, I get it. Everyone I busy,” I cut her off chuckling. “Then, dinner sounds good. Hey, Aaliyah, do you need a ride home?” I offer, but she shakes her head no putting her coat on with Eric right behind her.

“No, it’s good, I live two streets down, Eric will walk me home.”

My brother nods approvingly putting his own coat on. Wow, he is whipped! Good job, Aaliyah!

“It was nice meeting you!” I smile at her.

“You too, Charlotte!” She waves goodbye, and they leave.

   This year’s Christmas is starting off just the same. I watch Brooklyn 99 during the day, work on a paper that is due to after the holidays and just casually hang out with my parents and Eric. The only thing that is different that Eric always has his phone in his hands, texting Aaliyah non-stop.

On the 25th I help Mom make come cookies that we can bring over for our dinner invitation, and she asks me about my love life, as per usual.

“So, have you been on any dates lately?”

I can’t help but roll my eyes as I hand her over the milk.

“Not really,” I admit sighing. Not because I’m sad I haven’t, but because I’m tired of these questions. I’m twenty, I still have time, it’s not like I’m supposed to get married anytime soon.

“I really wish Dylan didn’t turn into an ass.” She shakes her head and I scoff.

“He didn’t just turn into one, he was always one, he was just good at fooling people.”

Dylan Sanders, aka my only ex-boyfriend. I dated him from the age of fifteen until I almost turned eighteen. It’s a long time, and I’m kinda ashamed it took me so long to realize how big of an ass he really is. The pink clouds made me blind, but fortunately, it cleared up at one point and I successfully ended our toxic relationship. Too bad this point was after I ruined all my friendships because of him and ended up on my own when we ended things. This is one of the reasons I was excited to start a new life at the university, make new friends and just stop being Dylan Sanders’ girlfriend.

“Hey, maybe Aaliyah’s brother is nice. How amazing it would be if you dated him!”

Seeing her dreamy eyes I start laughing.

“Mom! I haven’t even met him, but I know you are already planning our marriage. Stop it, please.”

“Aaliyah is pretty great, I’m sure her brother is alike her.”

“Whatever, just please don’t make it awkward,” I plea. She just waves in dismiss.

 I talk to Maddi right before it’s time to leave. I’m finishing up my makeup as the phone is laying in front of me with her on speaker.

“I’m serious. Nothing is more embarrassing than being the drunkest at a family gathering,” she moans painfully.

“Maybe you learnt your lesson now,” I chuckle fixing my mascara.

“Not really. Chapter 2 comes tonight, my cousins are arriving and they are hardcore drinkers.” She sighs tiredly. “Whatever. So, dinner tonight at Eric’s girlfriend’s? How is she?”

“She is cute. Almost too good for my stinky brother, but they look cute, it’s like a puppy love.”

“Aw, that’s the best! Well, I’m interested in the details so text me when you get home.”

“Will do.”

“Charlie! We are leaving!” I hear mom shouting from downstairs.

“Gotta go, talk to you later,” I quickly say before ending the call.

I stand up and check myself one last time in the mirror. I chose to wear a mustard colored knitted jumper with a pair of black jeans and silver hoops in my ears. I grab my phone from the table and join my family downstairs.

Aaliyah really lives close to us, we don’t take the car, just walk and we arrive in about ten minutes. It’s a nice two story house, kinda typical around here.

“Please don’t embarrass me, okay?” Eric asks us right before ringing the doorbell. The kid is too in love.

Aaliyah opens the door for us in a nice nude dress and she kisses Eric on the lips shortly before we all walk in.

“Mom!” She shouts while we are taking our coats and shoes off and a blonde woman appears soon in the hallway.

“Hi! So good to have you here!” She greets us with a wide smile. “I’m Karen, and this is Manny, my husband,” she introduces herself and the man who joins us in a moment.

“I’m Evelyn, this is George and Charlotte, Eric’s sister,” Mom introduces us and we all shake hands.

As we walk into the living room where there are wineglasses waiting for us I remember that Aaliyah has a brother. Just when I realize this I hear another male voice behind me.

“Oh, and this is our son, Aaliyah’s brother,” Karen gestures towards the door and I turn around just to have my jaw drop to the floor. “Shawn.”

Shawn Mendes is standing there, shaking hands with my parents and Eric and when his eyes find me he is just as shocked as me.

“Um, hi. I-I assume we already know each other,” he mumbles stepping closer and I shake his hand very shortly. I can’t believe he is Aaliyah’s brother, how did I not see the resemblance?

“Yeah. Hi,” I say nervously and Karen gives us a confused look.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“We-“ I start, but Shawn cuts me off.

“Mom, you remember my friend, Dylan from high school? Um, Charlotte dated him for a few years,” he says uncomfortably and I feel the same.

Shawn and Dylan were best buds when we started dating. They hung out all the time and I was trying my best to be on good terms with him as well. I wanted to be friends with Dylan’s friends so badly, but Shawn… He always seemed to hate me. No matter how friendly I tried to be he was always pretty rigid and weird with me, often avoiding to be in the same room as me and he also had a few quite hurtful comments that I tried to shake off for the sake of my relationship. Oh, and the worst was when he made an attempt to break us up telling Dylan lies about me.  Thinking back at it now I wish he succeed, but it was still an asshole move from him, working so against me all that time, I wish I stood up for myself, but I was so into Dylan I was willing to put up with everything, even a mean best friend.

I haven’t seen him since about, tenth grade, when he became a private student to purchase his dreams and become a singer. Dylan kept in touch with him for a while, but I think they eventually stopped talking at one point.

“For two and a half years, to be exact,” I add bitterly.

“Oh! Wait, you are…” Karen starts, but Shawn gives her an unreadable look and she quickly gets quiet. “Never mind.” I raise my eyebrows seeing the scene, it’s quite odd. What did she want to tell me about? Did Dylan tell her stuff about me when he was still friends with Shawn?

I keep thinking about it as we have a nice glass of wine and move over into the dining room where the table is already set. The two families take place around the oval shaped dining table, I have my mom on my right and Eric on my left and I’m so lucky to have Shawn right across me, staring at me, making me quite anxious.

This is too uncomfortable, I think to myself. I try my best to ignore his gaze on me, and I mostly focus on Karen and Manny. They are extremely nice though. The dinner is amazing, the parents seem to hit it off immediately finding all the common things. Aaliyah and Eric seem to be satisfied, while I just sit there, ignoring Shawn’s eyes on me.

“And Shawn, which university are you studying at?” Mom asks making Eric laugh and she gives him a confused look. “What?”

“Mom, Shawn is…” Eric starts, but I cut him off before I could even stop myself from talking.

“He is a singer, Mom.”

“A singer? Like, a famous one?”

“He was voted as one of the most influential people this year,” Eric informs her and her eyes go wide. In the meanwhile, Shawn is just sitting there with a shy smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, I’m not really good with these stuff.”

“It’s fine. But, yeah. I don’t go to school. What about you, Charlotte?”

I can’t help but cringe how he calls me Charlotte, again. He did this in the past even though I hated being called Charlotte. I had this obsession to be a tomboy and though Charlie sounds better with my image. Now I don’t mind it, but still, most people call me Charlie, and he knows it, I think.

“I- Um… I’m a student at the University of Toronto. I study literature.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely! How much do you have left?” Manny asks clearly interested in my education.

“One year.”

“And what are you planning after?” Shawn suddenly asks and I’m surprised he is interested in anything in connection with me.

“Um… I don’t know just yet,” I mumble feeling nervous in the center of attention.

“Don’t be silly, Charlie!” Mom starts rolling her eyes. “Charlie is already working on a project for a book publisher. They are working on a book especially for sick children that has stories with characters with illnesses or disabilities.”

“That sounds amazing!” Karen cheers looking at me proudly and I can feel myself blushing.

“So you are still very generous,” Shawn comments and I look up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Still?” He shakes his head clearing his throat as if he just realized what he said.

“Um, yeah. Dylan used to tell me how much you volunteered and stuff…” he mumbles with his eyes fixed on his plate.

Oh, so he and Dylan talked about me and he still remembers it? That’s quite surprising, I thought he forgot about me as soon as he set his foot outside of Toronto. He never seemed to be interested in anything about me.

After dessert the table breaks up. Karen and my mom starts bringing the tables back to the kitchen, Manny and Dad move to the living room and Shawn disappears somewhere. Aaliyah is helping in the kitchen while Eric is just about to join the dad section, but I pull him to the side in the hallway.

“Why didn’t you tell me Aaliyah’s brother is Shawn Mendes?” I hiss at him, but he just gives me a puzzled look.

“Why do you care? I thought you are not a fan of these celebrities.”

I roll my eyes at him.

“Yeah, but a heads up would have been good, and if you told me who he is, I would have gotten ready to meet him. We weren’t really the best of buds in school.”

“Okay, and how would have I known? I was eleven when you and Dylan got together, even if you told me about Shawn, I wouldn’t remember it for my life. And besides, what is your problem with him? He is cool and nice.”

“Now he is, but he was an ass when I was dating Dylan.”

“Okay, well… that’s the past. Get yourself over it.”

He pats my shoulder before walking away. I growl in annoyance, because he is right, he couldn’t have known my past with Shawn. I don’t think I shared anything with him back then, it was way before our relationship matured and could actually talk without getting into a fight on the floor. All siblings need time to get over this phase. Ours ended sometime right before I moved out.

I rub my face to pull myself together and turning around I’m about to go after Eric and join the conversation in the living room, but then Shawn appears on the stairs and I stop.

“Hey,” he quietly says and I nod at him awkwardly. I have no idea how to deal with this situation. “So… I know, it’s awkward after all these years.”

“Yeah, it is,” I chuckle with a grimace.

“Are you… How are you and Dylan these days?”

“I have no idea how he is. After we broke up in senior year I saw him once. Two years ago at McDonald’s with some blonde chick.”

“Why did you two break up?” he asks it nosily. I find it pretty weird to stand here, at the Mendes house’s hallway with Shawn Mendes and talk about my breakup with my high school sweetheart.

“Um… He cheated on me with Kristi Burgess.”

“Ouch,” he frowns. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I shrug. “I cried for about a month, but I guess I’m over it now,” I say jokingly and he also cracks a smile.

There is a short silence that is rather awkward, I don’t know if I should say something, or just walk away, but he is the first one to speak up.

“Listen. I know I was quite the asshole back in high school and I’m sorry for that. I’ve matured, I changed and I thought that maybe… we could start over. I haven’t talked to Dylan in years either and I was acting like a douche because I thought it was impressing him. I was so stupid.”

I can relate to that. Dylan had this power over people, he could make them want to satisfy him and make him impressed, but it’s all bullshit.

“This sounds great. Let’s forget about everything in connection with Dylan,” I offer and he smiles at me nodding.

“Deal. Well, it’s nice to see you again, Charlotte.”

“Okay, as a starter, you could finally call me Charlie,” I tell him chuckling.

“Yeah. Sorry, I guess I’m used to calling you Charlotte,” he apologizes. “Charlie, why don’t we join our families for another drink maybe?”

“Sounds like a plan,” I nod and I follow him into the living room.

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #mendes army #watchmegetobsessed #crush mini series #crushes #mini series #fanfiction

[joeybelle]

The Mistletoe Curse - Part 1

Clyde Logan x Reader

Rating: Mature (rating will go up as the story progresses)

Warning: Explicit Language, Accidental Nudity, Drinking, Minor Car Accidents, Minor Accidents, Drunken Confessions, Eventual Smut, First Person POV

Setting: Sometimes in the Logan Lucky universe

Other: Romance, Humour, Christmas tropes, Mistletoe Kiss, Drunken Confessions, Fluff

Wordcount: 5300

Summary: I'd never heard of mistletoe faeries before Earl mentioned them, and to be fair, I had a feeling he was kidding me. However, even I knew that if you accidentally find yourself under the mistletoe with someone - Clyde in this case - you must kiss. But a kiss on the cheek would be enough, right? Right?

Wrong.

(awesome art by @void.dust on Instagram - link may not work but make sure to check them out)

I’d never really been into decorating and stuff until I started working at the Duck Tape. Sure, I’ve always had a tree for Christmas and a couple of skeletons or a cobweb for Halloween, but since it was just for me and my family or college roommates, it felt like a waste of time and energy to put them up just to take them all down a couple of weeks later.

But at Duck Tape, it was different. When Clyde first showed me the storage where they kept all the decorations, I was speechless. There was just so much stuff! I had no idea how all that could be used in only one building without having to throw everything else away. But then Easter came and the spring decorations were put up, and then Halloween and the place was turned into a house of horrors and I loved it. From then on, I was counting the days until we could start putting up the Christmas trees.

To everyone’s surprise—mine included—I really had a knack for decorating, and I was quickly crowned the queen of decorations. Really, I had a crown and all. So most of the work fell on my shoulders. And I absolutely loved it.

I started working at the Duck Tape in spring, after I lost my previous job. It wasn’t a great period for me, no one in my field was hiring and I was getting desperate so when I saw that the bar in town had an opening, I jumped at the opportunity. Only for a few months, I told myself, until I found something better. I wasn’t qualified for this kind of job and I quite expected them to kick me out after the first couple of weeks, but the owner and the staff were very nice and patient with me. So as time passed, I forgot to look for a better job.

I’d known Clyde Logan from high school, but we were never friends. We wouldn’t usually cross paths and if we did, we’d say hello and move on. So I was surprised by the ease with which he accepted me as part of the staff and his willingness to help me out when I really needed it. He didn’t have to pay me in advance when I was worried about my bills or lend me his car when mine broke down. But he did it anyway, asking for nothing in return. So I wasn't surprised to find myself falling for him more and more with every passing week.

But right now, I was more worried about the literal aspect of the falling, as I felt the step ladder shift from under my feet. My whole life flashed before my eyes while I flapped my arms around trying to stabilize myself, but I couldn’t regain my balance no matter how hard I tried. I was already bracing myself for the fall, accepting the idea of spending Christmas in the hospital, when the ladder stopped moving.

“Be careful,” Clyde said, miraculously catching it before I tumbled to the ground, potentially injuring myself. I managed to grab onto his shoulders and I found myself staring into Clyde’s worried eyes.

“I’m fine! I’m fine,” I babbled, trying to reassure him, although my heart was beating a million times a minutes and I was still holding onto his shoulders for dear life. My hands were shaking. “I’m fine…” He was looking at me with concern written all over his face, but there was a gentleness to his features that made me feel safe. Maybe it was just the scare—I knew that one strong emotion can blow another one out of proportion—but I was pretty sure that was the exact moment I realized I was head over heels in love with Clyde Logan.

Also, I realized we were quite close to one another, in the awkward position we found ourselves in. I had my hands still securely propped onto his broad shoulders and I knew that if I’d let them slid down his back I could fall into his embrace. He’d probably hold me. Then we’d be close enough that I could brush my nose against his and invite him to kiss me. But I knew something like that was just a beautiful daydream.

His voice snapped me out of my trance. “I’m not letting you use this ladder anymore,” he said, looking away with a slight blush. I wondered if my expression gave me away and he could have guessed what I was thinking about.

“You’re under the mistletoe,” I heard Earl shout from place he was sitting at the bar. “Now you’ve gotta kiss.”

Right. We were under the mistletoe because that’s what I was doing before nearly falling to my death, hanging mistletoe in the middle of the dancefloor, so that people had a legitimate reason to kiss. Not that they needed a lot after tasting Clyde’s shots, but it was part of the decor. And now we were under it. I felt my face start to burn, so I looked away.

“It’s not Christmas yet,” I yelled back at Earl, who had a huge grin on his face.

“Don’t matter. The faeries will get you if you don’t,” he said. “You don’t wanna anger the mistletoe faeries.”

I looked down at Clyde, who seemed just as flustered as I was. “Faeries? What Faeries? Is that even a thing?” I asked, trying to hide my own embarrassment behind a mask of confusion.

“I don’t know,” he whispered back, but didn’t move away.

“It’s a thing,” Earl declared matter of factly. “You don’t wanna make them mad.”

I really didn’t want to annoy the faeries. I wasn’t sure they existed or not, but the stories always said not to anger them. And I knew something bad would happen to you if you don’t kiss while under the mistletoe, and I really didn’t wanna tempt fate. After all, Christmas was just around the corner and I was hoping to have a good one. Also, this would be a really good excuse to get a kiss from Clyde. I’d always wanted one, but kept my mouth shut, fearing the rejection.

There had been flirting, mostly on my part, but he would usually respond. However, I wasn’t sure he ever took me seriously. I wasn’t sure he understood that the way I acted around him was different from the way I joked with everyone else, because most of the time his replies seemed like he was trying to be polite instead of you know, actually flirting back with intent. There had been a couple of instances when I knew for sure he was into it, but those happened when we were both drunk after a long shift and were never mentioned after that. So I really had no idea what to think. And that’s why I chickened out.

It was the perfect opportunity to get a kiss from Clyde, guilt free on account of the faeries. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t want to annoy them either, since I knew he was a little more superstitious than myself, but I just couldn’t get myself to do it. Not with Earl grinning at us with a beer bottle in his hand and with one of the girls singing off pitch carols in the kitchen so loud you could hear her from the parking lot. I kept looking at him, my hands still propped on his shoulders, waiting for him to make a move. To give me a sign, anything that would let me know if he’d like a kiss or not. But he just blushed a furious shade of red and looked back at me, not saying a word.

I dipped down, encouraged by Earl’s cheers and kissed Clyde on the cheek. It was just a quick, innocent peck, but I still felt like I was on fire. He smelled of his usual cologne, but because of the closeness I was becoming hyper aware of it. I pulled back and stepped down the ladder, before I got carried away.

“What was that?” Earl asked, laughing at me.

“That’s the only thing the faeries are getting,” I said, pointing a finger at him. “Can I take a five minute break?” I asked Clyde, who was still violently blushing and looking anywhere but in my direction.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, and he seemed just as lightheaded as I was.

“I don’t think that’s enough,” Earl yelled after me, as I stepped outside the bar.

The weather was frigid and I wasn’t dressed properly to be out in the snow, but I needed to cool off and this seemed like the best option. I instantly started shivering, but I gritted my teeth. I had nearly kissed Clyde Logan. Part of me was still in shock that it happened, and another part was angry that I didn't take the opportunity to do it properly. I was a coward.

The door behind me opened with a creak and I turned around to see Clyde holding his coat in his hands.

“It’s cold,” he mumbled, placing it on my shoulders with insecure hands.

“Thank you,” I replied, and once again I was filled with love for the man standing awkwardly by the door. It was little things like this that made me fall for him and reinforced those feelings. I regretted once again that I didn’t kiss him properly, because the urge to do it now was almost overwhelming.

“Well then,” he mumbled, looking like he was about to freeze himself, “don’t stay out too long. It’s cold.”

I smiled, wondering if he was just looking for a pretext to talk to me, but then I could feel my heart sinking when he turned around to leave. “Clyde,” I said, making him stop and look at me. “Thank you for not letting me fall, that would have been quite painful.” It wasn’t what I wanted to say, but how do you tell your boss that you’re in love with him and would really like a kiss? You don’t.

“No problem, don’t worry about it” he mumbled, passing a hand through his hair and looking at the ground. “I’ll go back now, it’s cold.”

And like that he vanished, leaving me alone. His departure seemed a bit rushed so I wondered if he’d actually realized that I liked him and was now trying to get away from me as fast as possible. The thought filled me with dread. I knew there was no way he would like me, after all, I was just me and there wasn’t much to like, and I knew I should have put more of an effort to keep my feelings hidden. Now there was this nagging feeling that even though no words had been spoken, I had somehow been rejected. I pulled the coat closer to myself, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne and sighed.

For the next week, Clyde Logan avoided me like the plague, which only reinforced my hunch. Once I noticed it, I made sure to be in his way as little as possible because I didn’t want to seem like I was forcing myself onto him. But it really hurt. My heart would sink every time I could see him turn around and leave once he noticed me, the way he made himself busy whenever I was near. I actually considered taking the week before Christmas off to cool down, but unfortunately, the fucking faeries happened.

I had no idea that Christmas had anything to do with faeries, but Earl was adamant that they existed, and were related. I knew there was something about elves, but I was no expert in Christmas traditions, so I didn’t argue. And apparently, my refusal to properly kiss Clyde under the mistletoe had upset them, so I was supposed to expect them to get revenge on me. At first, I was convinced it was just Earl mocking me, but as days passed and things started to happen, I was starting to believe him.

It started innocently at first. Things happened to go missing or get misplaced, other things got broken when you touched them, but we all blamed it on a very busy holiday season. Everyone was more tired than usually, so mistakes were bound to happen. Then one of our coworkers fell off the ladder while hanging some Christmas lights at home and had to have his leg in a cast for at least a month, which left a whole shift to be covered by me and Clyde. This meant we had to spend even more time together and I wouldn’t be able to take any time off. So everyone was overworked and tired and started doing even more mistakes.

To everyone’s surprise—not mine—I was the worst of them all. It was like I wasn’t able to do one thing right. Glasses slipped out of my hands and shattered on the floor, I was fucking up even the simplest drinks to the point where Clyde had to look over my shoulder to see what I was mixing which of course made me more flustered and prone to mistakes. I even dropped an opened bottle on my foot, getting a bruise and dousing myself in champagne at the same time. At least I hadn’t broken anything. Yet. The night was still young.

“It’s the faeries,” Earl let me know as I was sitting on a stool at the bar, holding an ice pack over my swollen foot. “They’re starting to play tricks on you.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “There are no faeries, Earl.” My clothes were wet and sticky and I smelled of champagne, my foot was in pain and I really didn’t feel like hearing anything about faeries.

“I hope you can say that after they’re done with you.”

“It’s my own fault for being clumsy and distracted.” I knew that, indirectly, Clyde was to blame for this, because I was hyper aware of his presence around me and completely oblivious to everything else. So of course mistakes were bound to happen when all I could think about was the wasted opportunity to kiss him. If he was going to avoid me, at least I could have gotten a kiss out of that. Instead I got angry faeries. There are no faeries! “I’m gonna go change, before more people start pouring in,” I said, limping to the changing room.

I opened my locker and to my surprise it was empty. Except for my shoes, my bag and my winter coat, every other item of clothing was gone. I could feel myself starting to lose it.

“Hey, did anyone go through the lockers?” I asked one of the waitresses that had just come in.

“Yeah I think they took the laundry. Why, are you missing something?”

I groaned. “I had a spare uniform in here that was clean. And where are the rest of my clothes?”

“I don’t know,” she said, peaking over my shoulder. “Mike was tasked with the laundry.”

“Mike!” I yelled, rubbing my temples. Mike was a teenager that we hired part time during the summer. He needed some extra money and Clyde offered him a job. Since then, he’d still come during the weekends and sometimes when we were really busy to help us out. He was a really nice kid, although a little distracted at times.

“Yeah?”

“Did you take my clothes?” I said pointing to the empty locker.

“Yeah, Mr. Logan said to put everything in the washer.”

“Even my street clothes?”

“What?” He seemed a bit confused.

“There were two piles of clothes, folded.”

“Yeah, black.”

So that was the problem. I facepalmed. “Just because they are black doesn’t mean they’re a work uniform.”

“Oh my god!” He covered his mouth with both hands and his cheeks lost colour. “I’m so sorry.”

I shook my head. My other colleague was laughing her ass off. “It’s okay,” I sighed. “Nothing to do about it now. Does anyone have any extra uniform?”

“Nope,” she said, looking into her own locker, still laughing. “He washed everything. But don’t worry, your clothes weill be washed and dried before the shift ends.”

“I need something to change in now,” I said, picking at my drenched top that kept sticking to my chest. “I have champagne between my boobs.”

“Well then find someone to lick it off,” she laughed, earning a glare from me and a friendly slap over her shoulder. “I know someone who’d gladly do it.” I stared at her in confusion, but didn’t say anything.

I went to the bathroom and tried to pat my clothes dry as best as I could, but they kept sticking to my skin, making it itch. I washed my face and any exposed skin that had made contact with the drink, but I still felt dirty and uncomfortable. On top of it all, my foot was still throbbing, and I knew it would only get worse after a couple more hours of standing. This was going to be a really long night, I thought, looking myself in the mirror.

I returned at the bar, hoping that time would somehow go faster.

“You didn't find anything to change in?” Clyde asked me once I was back.

“No,” I sighed. “Mike laundered everything. Including all my clothes. Hopefully they will be dry by the time I have to go home otherwise I will have to plough through the snow naked.” That wasn’t true, of course I would go home in my uniform, but it felt just as inconvenient.

“I’m sorry,” he said and stopped what he was doing, looking at me with a worried expression that instantly melted away my anger.

“It’s okay,” I said, putting on my most reassuring smile. “It’s no big deal.”

“Aren’t you cold?” I shook my head, but he fished a key out of his pocket. “Go to my office, if you look though the closet you’ll find something clean to change in.” I could see him starting to blush as he spoke, and I was pretty sure the same was happening to me.

“Thank you.” I took the key. Part of me knew it was polite to refuse, but I was so uncomfortable that I really couldn’t say no. “Thank you so much. I’ll be back in a minute,” I said, but he was already tending to some customers.

His office wasn’t unfamiliar, so I knew where everything was, but it was the first time I was rummaging through his closet. I was a bit hesitant to look through his stuff, even though I had permission to do so. It felt like I was crossing some sort of boundary, but I had to remind myself that he wasn’t just my boss, he was my friend. And friends borrow each other’s clothes, right?

I quickly found a clean, neatly folded shirt that I knew wouldn't fit me, but I had no other option anyway, so I took it. There was nothing I could do for the lower part of my body, there was no way I could make his jeans fit me, but at least the top wouldn’t stick to my chest anymore and I wouldn’t look like a wet bird with ruffled feathers anymore.

I went to the bathroom, cleaned up and put the shirt on. I’d lie if I said I never imagines what I’d look like in one of his shirts, but the context of that daydream was a bit different. I felt my cheeks start to flush as I buttoned up the shirt over my chest. It was huge, but I did my best to try and make it look okay. After a lot of tying and tucking and rolling of sleeves I managed to make it functional. Clyde would probably judge me for what I did to his shirt, but I would return it washed and ironed, so he had nothing to worry about.

The only thing that really annoyed me was that because it was too much shirt to just tuck into my jeans, I had to tie it above my waist and whenever I’d lift my hands a part of my midriff would be on display. Well, I’d have to live with this inconvenience for a few hours. It was still much better than the champagne drenched top that was sticking to my boobs.

I hurried back behind the bar, handing Clyde the keys and thanking him once again. He nodded and went back to work, but I could see him stealing glances every time I’d try reaching the higher shelves. And by the way he became flustered every time I caught him looking I was starting to think it wasn’t just to make sure I didn’t drop anything on my head. Safe to say I wasn’t that mad about the shirt anymore.  

But this wasn’t an isolated incident, so I couldn’t just call it a bad day and move on with my life. It was a series of unfortunate events that somehow got more and more annoying. And dangerous, I might say. And even if Clyde was always there to save my ass, it only made the times when he seemed to avoid me even more painful. Like that time when I slipped on the ice, nearly breaking something.

It had been a surprisingly cold night followed by a snowy morning and Clyde and I were unloading things from Jimmy’s truck. We were in a bit of a hurry because we were a little behind with everything, so I didn’t really pay attention to where I was stepping. Not that I could see every strip of ice hidden under the fresh snow anyway. I had slipped a couple of times, but I managed to regain my balance in time, promising to be more careful and then slipping again. Clyde was looking at me with a worried expression on his face, probably expecting disaster to strike any minute. And he was right.

“I’m fine,” I said, returning for another crate of supplies, although he insisted once again that I stay inside and let him do the unloading. Unfortunately, I was being stubborn. “It’s not like a little ice is gonna kill me.”

Boy, was I wrong, because as I said that my foot slipped from under me and the only thing I could do to stop me from falling was to grab onto Clyde’s sleeve and drag him down with me. He caught my elbow and tried stabilizing me, but his foot slipped on the ice too, so we spent a few seconds in and awkward, disjointed dance before spinning around and falling in the snow, me on top of him. Luckily it wasn’t the way around or it'd be attending my own funeral right now. We groaned in unison, laying in the snow for a few seconds, before I realized that I was actually on top of him, so I panicked and tried to get up, only to slip again and smash my face into his chest.

“Are you alright?” he asked, as if he wasn’t the one that had hit the ground in order to break my fall.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, making another effort to get up. This time I managed to prop my hands on his shoulders and lift myself a little, so now I was awkwardly straddling him.

He was laying there, hair splayed in the snow, snowflakes catching in his dark strands. He looked flustered, with his lips slightly parted and a little out of breath, cheeks tinged with red. He was so beautiful that I almost forgot how to breathe. If this was any other situation, or if I were braver and he wasn’t my boss, maybe I would have tried kissing him. But unfortunately, I was still me, so I just stared at him dumbfounded for a few moments before realizing that I could just roll off of him, instead of trying to get up.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, covering my face. I was now laying on may back in the snow next to him, my face burning with shame.

“It’s alright,” he said and I could hear him getting up, the snow crunching under his feet. “Need help?”

I uncovered my face and looked up at him. There was no doubt he was blushing, it wasn’t just the cold. He was looking away as he lent me a hand and pulled me up, so I felt really bad for embarrassing him like this.

“Look, I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright,” he said, still not looking me in the eye. “But you’d better head back inside, I don’t want you breaking something before Christmas. I’ll finish unloading the rest.”

“Okay.” I knew he was well-intentioned, but it still stung. It was bad enough that I was feeling like a walking disaster, I really didn’t need him to treat me like one. I opened my mouth to say that, but no words came out. He still had his back turned to me, so I headed inside. Mike was diligently sweeping the floor, proving that ‘no ma’am, I wasn’t looking out the window until a couple of seconds ago’. I shook my head and went back to work.

And somehow after that it only got worse. I reached my breaking point one day when the espresso machine malfunctioned, spewing boiling hot water all over my hands. I ran to the bathroom, shut the door behind me and broke down crying with my hands under the running faucet. After about five minutes of ugly sobbing I managed to collect myself, wash my face and come out.

Clyde was waiting for me in the small hallway, looking worried. I knew he was too polite to just barge after me in the bathroom, but I still wondered if he’d heard me cry through the closed door. I really didn’t want him to see me like this, so I made an effort to smile.

“I’ll take you to the hospital,” he said once he saw me, fear and worry visible in his eyes.

“It’s alright, I’m fine,” I said, showing him my hands. The skin was red and a couple of blisters were already forming, but I knew it wasn’t serious.

Clyde opened his mouth, ready to argue I assumed, but then looked me in the eyes, and just nodded. I must have looked just as pathetic as I felt. “At least let me patch you up,” he said.  

“Thank you,” I said, following him to his office, where he sat me on a chair as he searched for the first aid kit.

He applied a disinfectant and a local anesthetic for which I was very thankful, because my hands hurt like hell. He then started bandaging. He was a bit clumsy, having to do everything with only one hand, so I had to help him out, but the gentleness with which he was doing it made my heart melt. There were days like this when I was feeling really down and his care and attention made everything better. By the time he finished with the bandaging I was feeling a little better.

“I think you should take the rest of the day off,” he said, putting away the kit, and I felt my heart sink once again.

“But I don’t want to go home,” I whined. “It’s gonna be a busy day today. I can wear gloves,” I pouted, despite my efforts not to do so. At least I didn’t burst into tears.

“Don’t worry about that, we can handle it. I already called someone to pick up the espresso machine and get it fixed before any other accidents happen,” he said, putting the first aid kit away. “I want you to go home and rest.”

I could see how worried he was and I was fearing he’d get an ulcer from all the stres I seemed to be causing him, so I decided to do as he said.

“Okay,” I said, after a long and dramatic sigh. “But I don’t like it.”

“Okay, I get that,” he nodded.

He left and I sat there on the chair for a few more minutes, looking at my bandaged hands and unable to move, feeling like a sad sack of potatoes. I was cursed. I denied it, and then denied it some more, but I was starting to believe it. In all those months that I had been working at Clyde’s bar, I had never been that clumsy and unlucky. So yeah, I might have been more tired than usual, and a little more distracted by Clyde, because I was in love with him and I was sure he didn’t return my feelings; and of course I spent most of the day hyper aware of his presence, overthinking every little gesture, stressing every time I felt he was avoiding me. But it couldn’t be all my fault, could it? No, it was the faeries.

So of course, after I changed I stopped to chat with Earl on the way to my car, the only one who seemed to have any idea what was going on.

“So, those faeries you’ve been talking about,” I asked, trying to not give away my desperation.

“They been getting you good these days, isn’t it?” he laughed, and his cheerfulness was becoming a little irritating.

“I don’t think they exist,” I said, trying to salvage a little of my dignity, “but if they did, how would I be able to make them leave me alone?”

“You have to give them what they want and they’ll stop,” he said, with a knowing smile on his face.

“What on earth would a faerie want?” I asked, my face scrunched in confusion.

“I don't know. What might a mistletoe faerie want?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Whatever that is, the should leave me alone. At this rate I’ll lose my job before Christmas.” I sighed. “I’ve been relieved of my duties today.”

“Don’t hold it against him,” Earl said, lighting up a cigarette. “He’s just looking out for you.”

“I know, that’s why I’m doing what I’m told,” I said, and waved goodbye.

On my way home I kept thinking about what Earl said. What would the faeries want from me? Obviously I had offended them by not kissing Clyde, but there was nothing I could do about that now. If I could turn back time I’d smooch him until he’d be out of air, but unfortunately time travel wasn’t one of my specialties. There must be a way to restore the good relations between the fairies and me. So I started googling.

Apparently, the only mistletoe faeries I found were on Etsy, so I was pretty sure that Earl was just shitting me. But looking at my burned hands I really didn’t wanna take any chances so I googled ways to appease generic faeries. And I found a lot of crap. Most of the advice said to leave them offerings like: champagne in walnut shells (what’s wrong with champagne glasses, also why champagne?), organic chocolate (emphasis on organic), organic mushrooms (again organic), organic berries, bird seeds (???), chrystals (anorganic, I assumed) and a lot of other stuff that made no sense to me (moon water).

I had none of those at home, unfortunately. I only drank champagne to celebrate and there wasn’t much to celebrate nowadays, my chocolate was just plain store bought chocolate and I doubted they liked that, the mushrooms were canned and who the fuck had fresh, organic berries in December? Certainly not my broke ass. So I begrudgingly crawled to the supermarket.

I came back with everything—except champagne, I didn’t have money for an actual bottle of authentic Champagne and by the tone of the articles on the internet, they didn’t like anything less than the best— and I set up a tiny shrine on the windowsill. I arranged everything nicely, because I had a feeling that faeries like pretty things, closed the window and pulled the blinds to give them some privacy, and went to sleep.

Next Chapter

Masterlist

(links might not work, but you can find the masterlist in my profile description)

#clyde logan #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x oc #logan lucky #adam driver #LOOK AT THAT AWESOME ART #LOOK AT IT! #commissioned #mistletoe curse

[baggettsathome]

Again.

One of the first things you learn in journalism school is not to bury the lede, meaning you should start with the most important information. But skipping right to “Nate is back in the ICU” really doesn’t capture the helluva week and a half we’ve had. So, indulge me as I walk through the whole story of the last 10 days…

Nate is back in the ICU, but stable. And thankfully, both his parents are able to be here for support. 

Last week’s infectious disease appointment (April 10) didn’t bring the news we’d been hoping for. We were expecting to be able to stop Nate’s IV antibiotics, but when the ID doctor reviewed his MRI, she saw that the biloma (fluid collection) was still there. It was small – no bigger than when the drain was pulled – but because the infected fluid could potentially cause a widespread infection, he was told he’d need to stay on antibiotics for at least four more weeks. So his PICC line stayed in and the daily infusions continued. 

We’d really gotten our hopes up that Nate would be without a PICC for the first time since August 31, so it was a huge disappointment. We’d been expecting to reach a big and exciting milestone and instead didn’t make any progress, so it felt a lot like a step backward. It made for a couple of very down days as we struggled to come to terms with how this would affect Nate’s recovery course, how much this could extend his rehab, and what the next few weeks might look like.  

Thankfully, we spent that weekend back in Iowa with friends and family who helped lift our spirits. We celebrated the upcoming arrival of a friend’s baby and my grandma’s 97th birthday. We laughed, played cards, and shared meals. Nate and I both headed into this week feeling better about what lay ahead.  

Back in Iowa with friends 

On Wednesday (April 17), Nate went in for his weekly ultrasound. It looked great, the official report noting that blood flow in the liver appeared to be “normalizing.” And, for the first time in years, every one of his liver labs were completely normal (probably for the first time since we started dating). He felt pretty good overall. But we balanced that positive news with a less happy reality. After talking with his surgeon during that appointment, we realized we had to reset our expectations about the next few months. We’d had a two-week trip planned to Europe for the beginning of June, and Nate had thought he’d be well enough to return to residency when we got back. But we had to acknowledge he wasn’t quite ready for such a big trip or a return to such a strenuous job, so we postponed both to give Nate more time to focus on rehab and building his endurance.

But with such stable labs and a good ultrasound report, Nate felt like he had a pretty clean bill of health, all things considered. He was all set to head to Minneapolis this weekend for his best friend’s bachelor party and to be the best man in the wedding next week.  

Then, on Thursday night (April 18), he started getting chills. He had a low fever off and on that evening, so we (rather begrudgingly) came into the hospital. He was directly admitted to the transplant floor for a presumed infection. “Well,” we said, “so much for the bachelor party.”

Getting his labs drawn on the transplant floor, sad about having to be here instead of in MN with friends. 

The doctors did a workup for infection, and in the wee hours of Friday morning, they also did an imaging study of his hepatic artery, just to be safe.

Thank goodness they did. “Bad news,” the surgeon told us early Friday morning. “It’s your artery. It’s down again.”

At 8 am yesterday (April 19), Nate was quickly taken to the interventional radiology operating room. Again. Like in February, they worked to clear a clot blocking off blood supply to his liver. The procedure went well, and they think they were able to intervene before his liver lost blood supply completely. In fact, the surgeons think they found the clot literally as soon as they could have.

Like in February, Nate is now in the ICU with a line into the artery in his groin that’s infusing heparin (a blood thinner) and tPA (a clot busting drug).

This morning, Nate went back to interventional radiology again so they could make sure the clot had broken down. They also wanted to look for areas in the artery where blood flow is turbulent, which can cause clots.  

The report after today’s procedure was… good-ish. They successfully ballooned one of the spots they suspected of having disrupted blood flow, right off the aorta and now it “looks really good.”

However, there’s a dissection in Nate’s right hepatic artery, meaning that one of the three layers that make up the vessel has separated from the other layers. It’s a risk of having your artery messed with so much, and is a separate issue than what brought us here. Sometimes they’re able to stent over a dissected artery, but that’s not a good option for where this dissection is. The relief is that the dissection doesn’t seem to be affecting blood flow to his liver, so that’s good. Still, “it’s a problem he doesn’t need,” the IR doc told us. “And it means we need have to be even more cautious and leery.” 

So Nate came back to the ICU this afternoon still getting infused with the two medications. They’ll do another ultrasound sometime tonight to check in. Then he’ll go back to IR in the morning for one more round of clot busting meds and another check on the artery. Assuming that goes well, he’ll spend the rest of the day in ICU and then head up to the transplant floor.

A post-procedure snooze

The dissection is another risk factor for future clotting, and the fact that Nate already clotted even though he’s on multiple blood thinners is… weird. “You have proven time and again that you are not normal,” one surgeon told him. All of the doctors are working on theories as to why clotting has been such an issue for him, and we’re obviously anxious to find a reason and resolution.

…so that’s the story as it stands now. A few days ago, his surgeon said that if Nate wasn’t so stubborn, he’d almost certainly have died at some point over the last two years. Stubbornness, a great support system, an amazingly skilled care team, and some luck… they’ve all played a role. But we are so, so, SO ready to need less of those things and to be able to get on with the life we were planning pre-transplant #1. In the shorter term, we really want to make it to our friends’ wedding next week.  

We’ll see. In the meantime, Happy Passover, Happy Easter, and thank you for all your support. You’ll hear more from us in the next few days and we appreciate all your continued thoughts, prayers, positive vibes, healthy juju, etc.

[ravenssunshine]

Titles are for losers enjoy my writing

1.6k words!

“I’m going to marry you one day.”

In which Mike constantly promises Will that they will get married. + The one time he finally proposes

(Byler ages 5-21)

1.

It was the first day of kindergarten, the first day Will and Mike met. they hit it off immediately. They did everything together. A very emotional Mike would through tantrums when the two weren't allowed to work together and Will wasn't much better.

A few weeks into school, they talked about marriage and love. a girl in their class had asked what marriage meant and the teacher was able to explain it in a way that five year olds could understand. After she finished, Mike turned to Will and said, "I'm going to marry you." being five, the promise really meant nothing, but Joyce laughed and hugged her son when he told her what Mike and said, "if you do marry him, Jonathan and me will be really happy, ok?" Will had nodded and went to go play with their dog.

2.

It was right after Will came back from the Upside Down. The pair were 11, and Mike was ecstatic to see his best friend again. Mike shooed everyone out of the hospital and they left wit hout complaining. He bent down to Will and kissed his forehead. "I'm so glad you're back. There was this girl- I kissed her. and I guess I love her? But you will always hold such a special place in my heart, Will. In kindergarten I promised that I would marry you and I promise you I still will, ok?"

Will had nodded and Mike climbed into the hospital bed with him, refusing to leave. that was the first time they shared a bed and the second time Mike promised Will they would get married.

3.

They were 13. after that difficult week in November, El became a permanent part of their lives. She and Max settled their differences and became close friends, not as close as Will and Mike, but closer than Max and any of the other members of the party. All of them were at a sleepover together at Will's house. There was a movie playing on tv, but no one was really interested. El and Max were gossiping, finding a bit of pleasure in that. Dustin and Lucas argued about their DnD campaign, probably finding a sly way to cheat the system. Mike and Will were curled up on the couch, Will's head in Mike’s lap. Mike played with his hair absentmindedly, thinking about his shitty grades. He couldn’t talk about them, as his brain deemed them stupid concerns. When he stopped playing with Will’s hair, Will turned to look up at Mike, immediately noticing the worried expression on his face. “What’s wrong?” He asked in a low voice.

“Nothing, beautiful," Mike whispered back.

"I thought boys weren't supposed to be beautiful!" Will let out a chuckle.

They were thirteen. Relationships started to become real thing. Not between the two queer kids living in Hawkins, Indiana, but they could dream about it.

4.

They were 17 and graduating in a week. both boys had stayed single throughout middle school and highschool. They only had eyes for each other. and Mike was about to tell Will how much the smaller boy meant to him. "El!" he shrieked. "Help me figure out how to ask Will out!"

El just shook her head. she walked over from the window seat in her cabin. even though she and the chief of police lived with Will, Jonathan, and Joyce, this was still her favorite place to hang out.

She placed her small hands on Mike’s shoulders, standing on her tip-toes a bit. “You can do it. Just tell him you love him. There’s only a week before graduation, and he's going to New York for three days with Joyce. You have to go now," she told him. Mike didn't even question why El and Hopper weren't going.

"Y-you’re right. Yeah. I’m going to go do that,” he stuttered. He placed a half second kiss on El’s cheek, something he always did. It was just a friendship thing.

He walked to Will’s house. Letting himself in, he said a quick hello to Joyce and the chief of police. He walked straight back to Will’s room, knocking on the door. “Can I come in?” Mike asked. There was a shuffling of feet and the door was unlocked and opened. Will pulled Mike into a hug, which lasted at least a minute. Will’s head comfortably rested on Mike’s shoulder, as Mike was 6’3 and Will was 5’9. Mike took a deep breath and kissed Will. And- oh god, it was so much better than he ever imagined. Will tensed up for a few seconds, before relaxing into the kiss. It lasted to a little over a minute, then they broke away for air. They kissed again, and this time Mike mumbled, “I’m gonna marry you some day. I still promise.” Will nodded.

“You wanna sleep over?” He asked. Mike nodded in reply.

5.

Age 19, second year of college. The two were in college in New York, Will majoring in art history and Mike majoring in engineering. Though they didn’t see each other often during the week, (Mike lived off campus and Will lived with a roommate on campus) their relationship was still going strong. They hung out every weekend, studying, kissing, going on dates. They went home together to Hawkins for Christmas and Easter, and everything was practically perfect.

The Christmas of their second year of college, they were home again, staying with Joyce, El (who stayed in Indiana for college,) and Jim. (Jonathan was not coming home that Christmas.)

On Christmas Day, Mike tossed a small box at Will. It was very messily wrapped, as he had never really learned how to wrap presents and refused everyone’s help. Will laughed at his boyfriend’s pathetic attempt at wrapping the present and kissed his cheek.

“Why are you kissing me now? You haven’t even seen the present,” Mike said cheerfully, winking at Will. Will rolled his eyes and removed the wrapping paper to reveal a small box. He opened the box which revealed a small gold ring. “Michael Wheeler, what are you playing at?” He asked, nervous.

“It’s a promise ring. Remember that promise I keep making you? Well I’m going to fulfill that promise as soon as we’re out of college and can support ourselves. I love you, William Byers,” Mike said, a small tear dripping from his eye. He was so happy to be doing this, and even happier that El, Jim, and Joyce were able to see it. Will leaned foreword to kiss Mike on the lips, whispering, “my gift is literal shit in comparison.” His gift was a beautiful painting of the two together and Mike loved it so much that he burst into tears. Needless to say, it was the best Christmas that Mike and the Byers-Hopper family had ever had.

+1

They were 22, a year out of college. Will had successfully started up his art career and Mike was applying for jobs. They had a steady income and lived comfortably in Boston. Mike had convinced Will to drive down to Indiana a week before Christmas. Everyone would be arriving by the 23rd, Dustin, Lucas, El, Max, Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, and of course Will and Mike. Joyce and Jim were hosting Christmas at their house, making this the perfect time for Mike to finally start fulfilling his promise.

They arrived on the 18th, just around 6:00am. They barely had time to walk inside Will’s house before falling asleep on the couch together. The next few days they hung out with everyone who was slowly arriving, and on the 24th, Mike decided he and Will should go tour Hawkins again. Alone.

"Wow, Hawkins middle is so small! I can't believe we used to think this place was huge," Mike commented when they reached the middle school.

Will turned and pointed to a building in the distance. The lights were off, as if has closed a while ago. "there's the lab. I never want to be back there again," he said softly.

"And you won't, baby. I swear it on my life." Mike kissed Will. it was short and sweet, stopping Will from feeling the effect of the cold winter air for a few minutes. They held hands, fingers intertwined.

Will was distracted from his thoughts when they suddenly stopped in front of the elementary school. Mike grabbed his hand, suddenly acting like an excited child. He pulled Mike to the back of the school and they walked into the tiny playground. He got down on one knee and pulled out a small box, this one not wrapped terribly.

"William Byers, I know we can't legally get married. not yet. but there is absolutely no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with and I will wait until we can can married. But we can have a reception with everyone. So, will you marry me? I’ve promised I would ask you since we were 6, and I really hope you feel the same.” Mike let out a small laugh at the end.

Will nodded excitedly, trying to form words. “Y-yes! Of course I’ll marry you! And I obviously feel the same, doofus.” He took the ring from Mike and slipped it onto his finger on top of the promise ring. The engagement ring looked exactly like the promise ring, but there was a tiny diamond set in the middle. Will then ran foreword and kissed Mike, this kiss lasting over a minute. It was deep and passionate, leaving them both wanting more. But Mike broke away, saying “I am freezing out here, Byers. Ready to go back home?”

Will nodded and they walked home together. They showed the ring to everyone during the holiday dinner and everyone was cheerful and excited. There was a wedding to be planned!

Hi i genuinely like this the prompt makes me happy.

#stranger things #byeler #byler #mike x will #shipping #fanfic #oneshot #christmas proposals are so great oml #sunshine writing

[wadupkev]

Why I Changed Jobs 5 Times During COVID

Writing for me has become a unique way for me to process and reflect in my life. I find it soothing to sit at the keys of my computer and slowly watch, like a viewer of a movie on my own life, a story come to life, yet I have already lived it.

There is something real about reflection. Looking back at a situation and seeing it through a clear windshield that once was caked over with dirt. It’s freeing, it’s encouraging, it helps us grow and I am so grateful for that.

This last year for so many has been, dare I say, hard? Does anyone growing up ever think about what kind of destruction a global pandie could cause let alone what a pandie even is? I want to be careful how I write this reflection of my last year because I know the pain and suffering that others have been through because of the ‘rona. Real, life-altering pain. Although my life has been shaken up this year it certainly could have been a lot worse so please know I am writing this knowing the privilege that I have. I hope you see the things that I have learned as the main takeaways rather than the vehicles of transportation that took me to them. Also know that I love you and am so grateful you are reading this. Even if this is where you stop reading I hope you know how loved you are.

Lets rewind a bit.

March 2020

Wowsers. I was living man. The NCAA March Madness tournament was right around the corner. Being in the last semester of grad school with not a whole lot going on class wise, I was soaking up my time in the athletics department at Nebraska. I was scheduled to work the basketball tournaments first and second rounds in Omaha. I would get to be on the floor watching the games live, in the press conference room during interviews, distributing materials as a “runner” to the staff onsite. In the midst of all of this I had begun just a few months prior really starting to look through the job sites and start applying for gigs I thought I would do well in. Something I would love.

How exciting right? Finishing grad school (which funny enough during my freshmen year of undergrad in 2014 I switched majors to avoid going to grad school lol s/o God) with hopes to work in a profession that I had been dreaming about for a little over 5 years. I was working national events, attending sporting events left and right, being front and center as a “fan” or graduate assistant. I was starting to explore where I wanted to live post grad school. The cool thing about college athletics is that there are colleges ALL over. The idea of what a post school life would look like was becoming really clear. This vision that had taken shape over the last 5 years was coming to the point where I wasn’t quite sure what would be next. But things were getting clearer each day.

I remember driving to Omaha a couple days before March Madness was set to begin with my roommate. The night before we saw the first of what would be many NBA games cancelled. Not thinking too much about it at the time, Zach (my roommate) and I were in the car when the alerts that no fans would be in attendance at the games for March Madness came through. My family had tickets to come watch the games. I was on the phone with my dad chatting about them no longer coming to Nebraska to visit and enjoy some college basketball. We hung up and then the alerts just kept coming. Rumors that the whole tournament would be cancelled, then seemingly strong sources stating that it was cancelled. By this point I had dropped Zach off to go on his spring break trip and he was already in Florida. Uh oh. Could he even come home? Stuck 1,700 miles away from school (tbh at the time I did not think he was in the worst spot).

It was sports that did it for us. The moment we knew something awful was about to happen without the magnitude of what it could do in our minds. A quick pause, do you remember when you found out about this whole thing? For some reason I think this is my generations global event that we will look back and no exactly where we were and what we were doing.

Anyways, to continue, ten days after the basketball tournament was cancelled, I received an email from a job I had applied to a few weeks earlier and the head coach was asking to chat about a role. If I am honest, I had forgotten that I had applied for this particular role because of how many jobs I had been applying to during that time. I had figured since I hadn’t heard anything that they were not interested. Slightly stunned, but excited about the possibility to interview, we talked for a while on a Monday and then continued that conversation with a second round interview with his whole staff on that Wednesday. During our Wednesday chat, towards the end, he had told me that I would have a decision, good or bad, by friday. “That’s so soon but rock on.” I thought. I loved the idea of knowing soon. Oh how this would come to bite me. Friday came and went and I heard nothing. What would you think in this situation? At this point I really did not know what the scale of COVID-19 would be. It had shaken things up but I thought it would last a couple weeks. In my mind, I went to “Oh they probably offered the role to someone else, that person is taking the weekend to think about it and they didn’t want to tell me incase this person turns down the role in which case I’ll hear something either Monday or Tuesday.” Somewhat logical right? The timing made sense. I was convinced someone else got the job.

Monday rolls around. This is all happening during Lent (the 40~ days before Easter) in which I had decided to do my bible study in my room immediately after waking up instead of checking my phone first. I had been charging my phone in the living room, which I continue to do now, so that the temptation wouldn’t be there. Expecting to hear something that day or the next, I was distracted to say the least. While I was reading that mornings devotional, I just kept thinking “How crazy would it be if when I go out to the living room to finish my response to the devotional on my phone and I would see a missed call already?”. I had woken up at like 8ish I want to say that morning so I was really doubting to see something. I wrapped up the reading and walked out to the living room and no joke, the first thing I see, it says “Missed Call: Coach Taylor | 3 minutes ago”. WHAT?! Literally as I was thinking “oh man what if he’s already called?” while reading, he had indeed tried to call. I was shocked. I very speedily finished my response to that demo. My apologies to anyone who had received my text that morning because it was NOT my best. I rushed through it trying to not be distracted, but I couldn’t think of anything else. What was he going to say? I immediately called him back. “Good news and bad news Kevin.” Oh boy. Here we go. “I wanted nothing more than to call you on Friday and offer you the job.” Okay……and? “I got a call from HR about an hour before I was planning on calling you saying that the university is freezing all current hiring processes until further notice. You are our guy, we just don’t know when we can get you out here.” I mean, pretty awesome phone call to me, being extremely naive to the timeline that the ‘rona would follow. I thought that tops a couple weeks and boom, I get out to this job. A dream job for me out of grad school. I had connected really well with the head coach and the rest of his staff. It felt so right. I decided at that point that this would be worth waiting for. However long. In my head, I would go home for a couple weeks, spend some time with family, and get out to the job in the middle to end of May. I moved home hoping to not be there too long.

And then the weight of what the ‘rona would do to our world started to pile on. More and more cases. More direction about masks, staying home, virtual events becoming the norm. Every couple of weeks I would connect with Coach Taylor and see how they were handling things, what the update on the possible timeline could be. It keeps getting pushed back. Maybe June 1st. Well maybe July 1st (start of the new fiscal year for universities). These arbitrary dates kept coming and going like the wind. August 1st then August 17th which was the first date of classes. Now what I want to make clear is that this potential employer was not simply stringing me along. No one really knew what to expect with this virus. He was hopeful and encouraging to talk to about the future of this role. In the midst of all of this, I was at home with my parents not knowing when I was going to leave. 24, grad degree, living at home. The story I told myself was that I had failed. That I had made it through the right hoops at the right time to finally get to the hoop that was too high up to get through and to fall down on my face and not be good enough. Then, in the middle of August, I got a call from the Coach in which he informed me that it would at least be Spring of 21’ before they would be able to consider a hire.

Woof.

Not what I wanted to hear. It could likely mean a full year living at home before they could consider hiring? Oh man.

I had picked up a job working 6pm to midnight at Lowes unloading trucks. More on this in my last blog.

I felt lost. I felt alone. A handful of my grad school friends had already secured jobs before COVID. The few that hadn’t yet felt really far away. All the people I was spending time around still had their jobs and were still chugging forward when it felt like I had been cast one hundred miles back in life. It was hard.

I sat down into a conversation with one of my incredible mentors, Tyler. I explained the whole situation like I had done a million times already at that point. I explained how I likely would have a full winter to wait out before this dream role, or even hiring in college athletics in general, would resume to normal. He asked me a couple questions and then said something that challenged my current thinking. “Kevin, think about it. When else are you going to have an entire winter, to do whatever you want, ever in your life again? No responsibilities, no restrictions besides the ‘rona. Use this time to have a little fun. Don’t go into debt, but enjoy this time. Think about this as an opportunity to do something you otherwise would never get to do. You ski a lot right? Go be a ski bum.”

Now. This idea had not been completely foreign to me. On a backpacking trip in 2015, one of the group leaders had mentioned how he had been a ski bum at Vail in his 20’s. Immediately Ty(the groups leader on the backpacking trip)’s stories starting becoming vivid memories. I remember him telling me of the 100+ days he spent skiing, living on a couch eating ramen and PB&Js to make it by, just living.

I went home that day from lunch with Tyler and applied for a job at Copper Mountain. “Ski Instructor, hm that sounds like something I could do” having taught just a handful of friends in college how to ski. S/O Tyler Leasure crashing into a tree at full speed. The immediate excitement of possibly spending a winter in the mountains of Colorado was quickly brought back to the ground. I would only be doing this because I wasn’t where I actually wanted to be. I was only doing it because my dream job had seemingly fallen through the cracks. I ended up getting offered the job at Copper. Finding housing was a true pain in the but until a friend connected me with a mutual friend. I am so blessed to have even gotten a place to stay in Summit County. I was a day or so from telling Copper I couldn’t come because of not finding housing.

December 1st, 2020

I moved up to Dillon, CO. A place I kind of, but not really, wanted to be. I would hear from my friends that they were so jealous of me. They wanted to be a ski bum but couldn’t for a host of different reasons, all legitimate. But here I was, working a job that so many were “jealous” of, and I wasn’t happy.

I want to be careful here because I know how this can look. “Oh you had to go be a ski bum and thats the most trying time of your life? Okay, Kevin. Take a seat and let me tell you what real pain looks like.” I really hope to not come off like that here. This was a tough spot for me. The life I had envisioned for so long and was so close to coming to fruition had disappeared in an instant. I hope you can understand what that feels like.

I was frustrated. I was skiing and I was frustrated. HA. What an oxymoron. But then my mom handed me a book. A book on lament. An unfiltered prayer to God. Raw and emotional. In the book the author said something so simple yet so profound. “Hard is hard. Hard is not bad.” Pffffffff dude come on! This hit me like a BRICK! I had been looking back over the confusing time spectacle that is COVID as hard and that it sucked. But nope. Hard is going to happen in our life. That is what it means to be human. We can’t avoid it. Hard is hard. It is not bad. Hard reveals idols and mine could not have been more apparent. I had placed this job and my career on a pedestal so that when it didn’t come to reality, I was mad. It hadn’t worked out how I wanted it to.

But then I started thinking, and it may be a cliche to a lot of people, but if I place my happiness on the other side of this job working out, when will I ever be happy in my life? Because if this job does work out, I will have trained myself to put happiness on the other side of some thing and will always continue to do that. If I couldn’t be happy as a FREAKING SKI BUM when could I ever be happy? This rocked my world. I started meditating. I started trying to be more present. To live in the now. To enjoy the now for what it is. We spend so much time living in the past and future that the now rarely ever gets any focus. Do you see how unhealthy this is? I could see this trend going in a bad direction. If I started saying that I would only be happy when I was in a relationship, that would be such a toxic way to approach and treat any woman. If I could only be happy once I had moved away from home, would I ever really have somewhere that I could consider home? If I could only be happy when I started making adult money, how would that affect my view of finances and the pitfalls of only ever wanting to make more money? I had to change.

Living in the present. Enjoying skiing was the biggest priority I had. I had made a couple good friends in Summit County, Justin and James, and we had started planning some ski trips. We went and skied Telluride together and I started to fall in love with the sport again. I got to ski Powderhorn with some boys from my days in Grand Junction. I was spending a ton of time taking laps in the park at Copper. I started getting some bigger jumps down, started throwing some tricks. I was loving skiing again. I was getting better and seeing a ton of progression. I was enjoying being a ski bum. The future still seemed unclear but I was happy. I was happy where I was. It’s something that I think is so crucial to our lives. If you can’t be happy now, when will you ever be? I was done trying to become happy and was simply being happy. I started seeing the little blessings of everyday in a hard situation.

A situation that once was only frustrating was starting to bear its fruit.

I joined a bookclub with two really really solid guys and it has changed my life. In a book we just finished called Cry Like a Man the author Jason Wilson says “Only when the wheat is cut down, broken, ground up, and baked in the fire is it ready to feed one or many.” I had been broken down. Mad. Frustrated. Angry. Fearful. All the while God had been shaping my heart into something useful for myself and hopefully through conversation or even this blog, useful for others. I tried to keep a heart posture open to being shaped but it was not easy at times and I definitely was doubtful so often. But with the little that I did hand over to Jesus, he created something in me far greater that I could have imagined. Someone who appreciated this last year. Someone who can say now that I would go through this whole waiting game again knowing what it would bring out of me. Knowing what I would learn.

I recently received a job offer from that same dream role I had mentioned earlier. I could not be more thrilled and excited to start that. But until then I am soaking up time with family and friends.

I am so grateful to so many people for their roles in pouring into me this last year. I was in a rough spot and can’t say thank you enough to those who talked with me, sat with me, cried with me, and loved me so well. To those people, thank you.

I hope you have people like that in your life because holy smokes did I lean hard on those people. Their selflessness was a very needed light in my life. It’s what we are built for right? To live in community and relationship with others? Yes, I understand that we aren’t supposed to do that in large groups indoors without masks with the ‘rona still around, but it is so so so important to have a group of people you can lean on in hard times because they WILL come. Who are those people for you? The ones you can trust to be there for you when it sucks and just listen? Not to try to fix the problem or tell you a story that in many ways one-up’s your story, but to simply sit in the suck. To sit in the uncomfortable. It is a skill that I have now realized is a rare one. But those people are the best and so needed in everyones life. I hope you think about who those people are and say thank you to them.

I love you. Thank you for reading this far. Having read over this blog a few times, I get slightly emotional every time. Not because I am still sad, but because I know where I was and where I am now. Because I know that in the breaking down process is where life really has value. I am so grateful for you. If you could humor me with a favor, shoot me a text or message somewhere if you read this whole thing telling me one thing you learned during this last year. I would love to hear about it. I also would love to let you know in a more intimate way how thankful I am that you decided to read this. Hopefully you learned something through this as well. God is so good.

I LOVE THE HECK OUT OF YOU, DAWG. ALL THE LOVE.

[mm-annette]

yesterday was easter and i found out my boyfriend is an ex con. he has a bunch of drug charges and an attempted murder charge. how i went so long without finding that out, i have no idea. 

yall know my rule, ill date the buyer, not the supplier. ive only been in love with two people, her and him. i watched him struggle with addiction and its something that was very hard for him and i know its still hard for him. i watched her beat herself up over her father being addicted to pills and then i watched her turn into her dad. i could never support or be with someone who supplies something that has destroyed two people who i love dearly. 

its one thing to be with someone who is addicted, its something that they cant help, its something that they find comfort in and it drags them down into a deep and dark hole. its another thing to be with someone who supplies addicts, i could never and will never be okay with that. 

i spent months worrying about a man who overdosed on xanax and got himself locked up into rehab and it was honestly exhausting worrying about him and spending everyday wondering if he was okay or not. i spent weeks trying to call, text, dm, anything i could to see if he was okay and finally his mom contacted me and told me he was locked up. it was truly a long and exhausting 6 months waiting to hear from him and make sure for myself that he was okay.

it was even harder falling in love with him 3 years later and watching him fall back into a deep and dark hole of drugs and alcohol. it was one of the hardest moments for me, watching him go from a great job, having his family home, us looking at houses, going on dates and spending time with the family, literally a few weeks from moving into our future home, and he hits rock bottom. he quits his job, hes popping xanax and drinking while out in the middle of no where, up on the overlook on his fourwheeler, going out crazy. we were searching for him a new job, a new home, somewhere for us to have our boy miller and trying to figure out how we were gonna make a home for us. since then, hes never been the same. 8 years and we fall apart, we no longer speak and hes lost all of his closest friends because hes fallen too deep into his selfish mess. todays his birthday, his 21st and here i am wondering if hes okay, wondering if hes on a binder, wondering if hes shitfaced and driving the highway going 100mph like he did before, or if hes passed out off xanax. 

i watched my fiancee leave me for a girl who was addicted to xanax, who i told her was a bad influence, who drank and took pills, who i was bestfriends with at one point and saw all things first hand. i watched her leave me for that. i watched her comeback and tell me about walking into their apartment and people are passed out on xanax, the patio furniture is in the living room, her girlfriends bed is a mess with handcuffs on it. i mean i was there, downstairs when she told me her girlfriend said she was going to buy shit off my other ex girlfriend. i had to deal with picking her up from the psych ward because she got drunk and was trying to jump off a bridge. i had to deal with her telling everyone at the hospital that i was her fiancee and her girlfriend was her crazy ex, and that my mom was her mom, because thats who was trying to get her out, ME AND MY FAMILY. i had to calm her girlfriend down because she was freaking out and and she was worried, it was me doing this shit. 

i had to watch her high off what she said was her moms meds that are locked in a lock box for work, while passed out drunk and throwing up in her sisters back yard by a creek. i had to follow her home and watch her drive all over the road, go home to her girlfriend and listen to her on the phone yell at her because her girlfriends throwing up in their shower. ive had to watch her get insanely drunk and beat on her girlfriend, try to stop them from killing each other. i just watched her come to my house almost a month ago and tell me shes doing cocaine. she cries and tells me she got where our wedding tattoos were supposed to be tattooed with her new fiancees name because she was high on coke and doesnt even remember it. she told me she asked my artist to cover it and he said no, but in reality, she asked him to do it and he said no. ive watched her become unreliable, unstable, unhealthy, angry, abusive, a liar. i have watched her turn into her dad and it breaks my heart everyday knowing that shes become the man who she despises, the man who hurt her so much in life, thats who shes become and it kills me. 

my heart is a mess and i am beyond sad with everything going on. i dont know how to handle it or what to do but im trying my best.  

[ittybittyria]

yet another processing post

So sometime during my first year of college someone told me that Christian communities are where you find the friends that become family. Four years later and I think that was one of the biggest pieces of bullshit I bought into.

Don't get me wrong, I've experienced A LOT of growth in the Christian communities I've been a part of and met great people, but I've also experienced an immense amount of judgement, shame, and hurt.

First off, college. LOL I say this all the time and I truly do mean it, college was probably the worst season of my life. On top of family brokenness, struggling with academics, and learning to manage several mental disorders, I had to deal with bullies, racism, sexism, rumors, exceedingly high expectations, never ending judgement companied with unwarned suggestions from several people who knew nothing about me on how to live my life, shaming, and several other things from my Christian fellowship. I think my broken idea of what family is alongside believing that Christian communities are where you find friends that become family made me think that this was okay. It literally took a complete breakdown, losing several friends / mentors, and ending up in the psych ward for me to realize that it was such a toxic environment. But, being in IV did impact me in a lot of positive ways such as personal & spiritual growth, meeting several slightly older folks who became positive role models and influences in my life, new opportunities for me to explore passions, and meeting people outside of UCD that deeply touched my heart. If I could do college over again, I'd still join IV, but I'd just do things differently. I would tell my college self to not lose yourself in the midst of all these leadership trainings / discipleship meetings / staff meet-ups, don't listen to people when they tell you who or what to give your time to because that's up to you, and that God's voice is the most important.

Looking back on college, there's really only one person I met in IV that has become family, and most of our friendship grew outside of IV considering she stopped going LOL There's others that are still friends / acquaintances that I talk to every now and then, see on social media, etc. These positive relationships that really do mean the world to me because they've really help shape me to who I am now. Being led by Victoria, being mentored by Alexi, sharing a friendship with Lily, being encouraged by Robert, etc. are things I treasure. Some of those friendships are still active on social media and it's always a reminder that college wasn't all pain. And then there's a lot of relationships that ended in hurt either through hurtful actions or fading away cause the friendship wasn't worth fostering to them. Those I still treasure for the positive moments and the season they were present in my life. But it's hard to look at those and smile because there's still a lot of hurt I have yet to move past. All in all, my college experience in a Christian community didn't showcase "friends becoming family." Rather it was a mix of meeting great people that challenged me and inspired me, and meeting people that made me lose myself and cause a deep amount of hurt.

As for post-grad, welp. It's been a journey. There's everything with Bayside Davis, which has been negative for the most part. Then there's my small group, which has been a difficult mix of both positive and negative. Positive because I genuinely love my small group. I enjoy our biblical discussions, I feel challenged and encouraged by them, we've shared a lot of laughs, and they're just great people overall. I just feel myself growing with this group and I enjoy the presence of each person. But negative because we aren't really a community LOL All we do is see each other on Thursday's and sometimes at church, and all we ever talk about is from the guided discussion at SG. We've had like four hang outs, three of which I've attended, and they've either been barely anyone or really short or no good chats about getting to know each other. So it's been weird to be in this group and feel growth personally and spiritually, but not in community. It's kinda weird heh.

And today, well, today made cry...a lot. A few days ago I texted my SG being real about how holidays are hard because my family and I go to different churches (it's a lot more than that but I wasn't get too deep into it over text lmao) and I tend to go alone and I was open with them and said that I didn't want to spend Easter morning at church alone and I was hoping to be with community. I asked which service they were going to and if I could join them. Only Elvira responded and she let me know that her and Kevin were serving at the 9am, but that means they don't get to sit during service. No one else responded and I assumed they'd gone back to their hometowns to be with family or just weren't going to Midtown. So I cried last night because I really just didn't want to go church alone. But I woke up this morning feeling good. My window was open, birds were singing, the sun was rising, and I just felt good. I was reminded that I was going to church alone, but I wasn't alone. I went to the 9am service, sat by myself, and loved every second of it. Could it have been better shared with community? Hell yeah, but I was still filled with joy. When I got to my car, someone from SG texted asking where people were sitting and they sent a picture and lookie there, my SG was all together for the second service. I just sat in my car trying not ruin my make-up with tears. I fought them back for a solid 30 minutes.

What got me was that there's a guy in my SG who I've known all through college. He's seen me through a lot and I've opened up to him. He knows the issues with my family and I've talked about how hard holidays are for me. And he couldn't even text me to tell me what service he was going to. I'm like 10x more angry and frustrated with him than the rest of my SG. I literally save him a seat every regular Sunday and his ass walks in late with a donut and coffee every time. Like he couldn't just respond and say 11am. It takes less than a minute to type and send that. And hearing all my family problems and the pain I carry along with it, he just couldn't fucking do it. Y'all I cannot even put into words how unloved I felt today by him.

And even my SG. I was honestly disappointed. I've planned all our hang outs, I've missed TWO small groups (one for a car problem and the other because I wanted to support a friend at her performance). They even said I get the award for best attendance cause I've probably been to the most SG's and YP events. I take time every weekend to pray for their prayer requests and if God brings something up when I pray, I text them. I don't do this to get anything back, like I promise I don't. I genuinely do this because I love my SG, I want the best for them, and I care about them. But I am hurt that no one could just say "11am" when I asked what service. Like...where are the friends that become family?

When I look at the people in my life and I see the friends that have become family, I didn't meet them jn Christian communities. I met them in HS (which was a catholic HS but it doesn't count cause it's totally different lmao) and through those HS friends. They've become family and most of them don't even fucking live in the same city as me. I've seen us travel miles on miles to celebrate birthdays, support each other at performances, be there at graduations, welcome people back at the airport, etc. I've seen us stick up for each other when racism and/or sexual harassment as come up, challenge each other to be better, call each other out on shit we do, etc. I've seen us laugh and cry all in the same hour, be vulnerable and share our stories, listen well and honor the stories we hear, etc. I've seen us go above and beyond to be good friends to each other and these are the friends that have become family.

I don't expect Jessica to fly to celebrate my birthday with me and I don't expect Luis to tell a guy to go away and leave me alone when he's been harassing me and I don't expect Holly to feed me chips outside the club when my drunk ass is hungry. I don't expect these of them and I'd never ask this of them. But a fucking text back when I send you a long message about why I'm thankful were part of my 2017 and how I hope you have a full and joyful 2018 would be nice. Like a thank you. Or you could even just heart the damn message. Or John could just say "I'm going to the 11am service" when I ask our SG which Easter service their going to so I don't go alone. Or even a "thanks for saving a seat" on Sunday's. But nothing. I don't even expect my friends friends to go above and beyond. Like I'm fucking living when they text me saying they also like Enlightened more than they like Halo Top and "OMG did you smell the easter bath bombs at lush? I think you'd like it." Honestly being friends with me really isn't hard. Like my biggest things are initiating every now and then, stick to your word and show up when you say you'll show up, and fucking texting back. Those are the main things and I really don't think they're that complex / difficult. Yet it seems like the only people that can do that in my life are Sabrina, my HS friends, and the friends I met through them. And relating back to what I was originally processing, Sabrina is the only one I met through a Christian community. Goes to show that the whole "Christian communities are where you meet the friends that become family" didn't happen for me heh

It's hard cause I have to remind myself that not everyone wants a friendship with me. But at the same time, don't ask me to plan SG hang outs or show up late to church cause you wanted Starbucks and you know I'll save you a seat or ask me for a ride somewhere when you don't plan on being a friend to me. Don't sit their receiving the benefits of a friendship with me without being a fucking friend to me. Recognize that you're taking advantage of it and either fucking stop or be a friend. Cause it hurts from this side of the situation.

--

LOL wow this post took a turn. I went from talking about buying into the bullshit that Christian communities hold the best friendships you'll have to just friendship in general to getting really fucking mad at people. I think the turn this took is a sign that I need to spend some time in prayer and with God cause there ain't no room in my heart for this bitterness.

Okay I'm tired now and I want to watch Grey's Anatomy to let my brain just stop thinking for a bit and I also need to go pray cause yeah, bitterness ain't cool n shit

[theswiftarmy]

#10 - Oak Felder’s Studio: Ariana Grande, You Can Be The Mockingjay, Okay?

The Defender returned once more.  This time he didn’t say a word.  Ariana Grande burst into the room.  “I’m soo sorry I’m late!”

           “Where were you?” Scooter sneered.

           “Scooter!  I had a show!”  She wasn’t putting up with his scolding at this moment, not after he missed her performance.  “You were SUPPOSED to have been there!”

           “I‘ve got bigger problems at the moment.”  He looked over at the open silver egg case containing Taylor Swift’s masters.  “I’m sorry I missed your show, okay?”

           “It’s fine, whatever.  I heard about what happened at the Big Machine offices, I came as soon as my Arianators informed me—Justin, are you okay?”

           “Yeah, I’m fine.  But, she captured my cat.”

           “Tuna?”

           “No.  Sushi.”

           “Oh no!  I mean, oh no if it was Tuna too!  Like, oh no if it was either one.”

           “Any update on Sushi, is she okay?”  Grande asked.

           “No update yet, I’ve been tracking Taylor’s social media accounts looking for a sign.  It just all happened so fast, we were just sitting there and then all of a sudden the Swifties stormed Big Machine Records offices—And well, here we are.”

           “I can’t believe Taylor did that!  I can’t believe she took your cat!”

           “It wasn’t Taylor, actually.  It was one of her Swiftie Soldiers—She used to come to my shows early on.  She managed one of my fan pages even—she used to be a Belieber.”

           “Oh Justin.  I’m so sorry.”  Ariana walked over to Justin and sat down beside him in the gigantic oversized beanbag chair, the chair nearly swallowed her whole.

           “I should have warned you that this chair eats people.”  He said as they fell in close with one another.

           “We’re gonna make Hailey jealous.”  Ariana whispered.

           “Nah, her and I have a high level of trust—We have true love—Nothing can tear us apart.”

           Ariana smiled at him.  “You two are one of my favorite celebrity couples.”  

           Justin smiled back.  “It just really hurts.  I didn’t think it would hurt so much.  It feels strange, she has something that is a part of me, something that I have grown attached to—I need my cat back.  I guess that’s how she must feel about those—”  He pointed at the masters.  “Damn.”

Justin fell silent, then continued, “If she feels anything like I do about Sushi being held captive by someone else, she must be hurting so bad. How does she sleep at night?  It’s no wonder she’s changed.  When you spend time with anything, you grow attached to it. I haven’t even had Sushi and Tuna that long, but I already love them so much.”  He paused.  “There are six albums there.  SIX ENTIRE ALBUMS of her career—Wow.  She must be a wreck inside.  I can’t even imagine how Taylor must feel right now…”

Ariana didn’t know what to say.  She knew he was right.  “It’s just, life gets, complicated Justin, you and I both know that.  This business is really hard, it isolates people, it’s like what Xzibit said in that Dr. Dre song on ‘The business end of this… can turn your friends against you’.”

“There’s just so much going on right now…”  Justin said turning away from her.

           Ariana hugged him, “SO, what IS exactly going on? My Spotters were keeping an eye on some of your Beliebers that were acting out of character when the attack happened.”

           “You were spying on me?”  Justin said pulling away.

           “No!  Justin—” She turned away, then back, “Just checking up on you.”

           He pulled away a little further.  “I just need to be in my own thoughts right now…”

“Okay, I understand.  You’ll get your cat Sushi back, okay?  I promise.” She climbed out of the chair, walked over to Scooter and sat down.  “So, what is this all about?”

“It’s just a lot to explain.”  He replied.

Oak spoke to the room, “Okay I’m going to connect the masters drives and start the Easter Egg track so we can figure out what we’re dealing with here—”

“Wait, maybe we should bring Ariana up to speed!”  Scooter said stopping Oak.

Oak agreed.  “Okay, okay, that’s fine—So, here’s what’s happening—Scott do you want to tell it?”

“No.  I’ve told the story enough.  You’ll do it better justice.”

Oak Felder nodded.  He clicked a button to change the mood lighting.  The lights in the studio dimmed to a low glow.  “Okay, here it goes.  In 1960, Elvis recorded a song completely in the dark, the song was Are You Lonesome Tonight.  His recording engineer, named Bill Porter, was able to remove the Devil from Rock and Roll, The Squares at the time thought Rock and Roll was the devil rising up to take over the world.  Bill was able to isolate it to an old reel to reel tape, which he labeled Easter Egg and signed his name.  Scott here found the Easter Egg tape just before he discovered Taylor Swift at the Bluebird Café in Nashville—Scott borrowed an old antique tape player to play the tape back as Taylor wouldn’t stop obsessing over the idea of an Easter Egg song being on the tape.  When they played it back, they heard nothing; they listened to it a second time, and got some kind of craving to listen to music.  The first piece of music they listened to, Taylor playing guitar, sounded like the best song they had ever heard.  They started recording, not realizing the Bill Porter Egg track was still playing through a set of studio speakers.  When they played the song for friends and family, everyone went bananas for it. Too long don’t read, they put in all her masters like sugar in candy and got everyone hooked on Taylor Swift’s music. Something changed when she released her Reputation album and now we think she’s possessed by the Rock and Roll Devil and is trying to take over the world.  Does that sum things up?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much where we’re at.” Scott replied, satisfied.

“I’m not entirely sure I follow, who’s Bill Porter, again.”

“Bill Porter was to Elvis what I am to you, Ariana Grande.  Behind every great song and talented artist is a great sound engineer and producer.  Their stories largely go untold.  Everyone knows Elvis but very few people know who Bill Porter was.”

Ariana nodded.  “This makes it sound like she’s only famous because of this sound.”

Scott stepped back into the conversation.  “No.  She’s famous because she’s a fantastic songwriter.  When I first saw her perform at The Bluebird Café, she was—Still is, just amazing.  There’s no doubt about that.  But she’s taking over the world because this sound made the songs addictive beyond the usual on repeat symptom you see when you hear a normally addictive song.”

“Yeah.”  Oak agreed. “This takes her ordinarily addictive songs and makes it so you basically cannot stop listening to them.  It’s like falling in love with someone.  Where you obsess over them, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, and you can’t function without them in your life.  It does that with Taylor’s music and makes you do anything for more and anyone who crosses her, crosses you.  You become jealous, overly zealous, a warrior on her behalf.”

“Can I put this in my music?” Ariana asked.

“I’m gonna say no that.  We don’t really know what we’re dealing with here.  This sound, could literally be The Devil.”  Oak voiced, slightly concerned at her question.

“Well, okay, can I be The Mockingjay then?”

“This isn’t The Hunger Games!”  Justin sat up in the giant beanbag chair.  “There is no Mockingjay.  This real life we’re talking about—These are real people’s lives that are being effected.”

Editor: AFFECTED!

Writer: Sorry.

Editor: Continue on.  Just remember what you learned in English class.

Writer: I actually failed 11th grade English.

Editor: Well that explains everything.

Writer: I RETOOK it over the summer and got an A-... I was going through a hard time, 11th grade was hard okay!  I had to work through some stuff.

Editor: Ohhh look at you with your A- in 11th grade summer do over English class.

Writer: Shut up....  let’s just get back to the story.  Stop being a bully.

Editor: I’m not I’m being an editor... I just got a little carried away... I’m sorry about that.

Writer: It’s fine, let’s just keep going.

“…lives that are beings affected.”  He paused.  “At least I think it’s real life.  Maybe we’re some sort of story and someone else is writing our lives, and others are reading them.  Like The Never Ending Story.”  Justin mused.

Scott picked up where Justin left off, “We just don’t know what this is exactly... okay?  So until we figure out what is going on here, everyone just calm down okay?  You all need to calm down.”

“Okay Taylor.”  Ariana added.

“This isn’t funny, this is serious stuff!”  Justin shouted out.

Oak pushed another button and the lighting changed, a sense of calm overtook everyone’s thoughts, “Listen we need to hear this tape okay?  So we can figure out what we’re dealing with… Once we analyze it we can better understand it and then make informed decisions from that point in time, and, Ariana, if we figure this all out, and some big war has to be fought, you can be the Mockingjay, okay?”

“YES!”  She exclaimed.  “I get to be Katniss Everdeen!  Thank u, next order of business... let’s listen to the tape.”

@taylorswift @arigrandescloud @justinbieber

#taylor swift #hug #TaylorSwiftTumblrStories #YouNeverKnowWhatSomeoneIsGoingThrough