#i broke my own heart

[ghost-bxrd]

the past was kinder…

#digital art #jason todd #jaybin #red hood #Robin #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #bruce wayne #tim drake #I broke my own heart #Nightwing #red robin #titans tower au #animation

[archiveoftragedies]

“Love sometimes expresses itself in sacrifice. I thought maybe if she loved him, she’d let him go”

(Jim Kirk, Metamorphosis)

Lyrics from “Dear Fellow Traveler” by Sea Wolf

#my art #star trek #spirk #k/s #space husbands #tos #st: tos #jim kirk #spock #post tos and tas and pre tmp #i broke my own heart #star trek fanart

[asexualenjolras]

If you value your mental health then don't think about the fact that Albus Severus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy had to sit through a Defence Against the Dark Arts class about the Unforgivable Curses after the events of Cursed Child.

Don't think about the fact that everyone was looking at them the whole time the Professor was talking, despite them purposefully sitting at the back of the class.

Don't imagine everyone whispering about the fact that Albus "didn't even need to be under the Imperius curse to do the things he did" because they don't know he only did it because Delphi tortured and threatened his best friend.

Don't think about everyone expecting it to be Scorpius that has a breakdown when the Cruciatus curse is mentioned, only to find out that it was Albus that was most affected.

Don't think about Albus shaking and having flashbacks of Scorpius' scream when the Professor talks about how painful the Cruciatus curse is.

Don't think about Scorpius doing his best to comfort his boyfriend without attracting attention to them both while Albus quietly tries not to cry aloud.

Don't think about Albus physically shaking as the Professor talks about how much of a risk of long-term damage there is with the Cruciatus curse, and don't think about Scorpius taking hold of his hand to remind him that he's still there and is still okay.

Just don't think about them having to sit there and relive the murder of Craig while everyone in the class whispers about the Killing curse.

Just don't think about it. Don't think about it at all.

#harry potter next generation #scorpius malfoy #albus severus potter #scorbus #cursed child #hpcc #albus severus x scorpius #avada kedavra #unforgiveable curse #imperius #imperio #crucio #cruciatus #curses #harry potter #slytherin #i broke my own heart #so you can all have this too #because ouch

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

This drabble is born from a really angsty brain riot with Bonten's origins, that happened to me after reading this words from @just-sp-in-inginthevoid :

"Bonten is a memorial for Izana, its symbol, its members’ tattoo come from Izana’s earrings and the (天) ten of Bonten 梵天 from Tenjiku 天竺, the (梵) bon of Bonten 梵天 comes from Brahman 梵. (...) There’s no need for Senju to have the same role as Izana in Bonten if she’s not dead."

(I always pictured Senju being death in that timeline, but the reality of the kanjis being literally THAT... ajfshgsjgejgrjg, the pain of this. Wakui, you know how to break us every timeline! 😭)

Bonten was born from pain.

(drabble of the day that Bonten was created)

Warnings: I'm so sorry, this is just angst and hurt/no comfort. I wrote it as an attempt of coping with canon and how painful is Bonten timeline when you actually look closer to it. It's from Koko's POV and everyone is just broke and devastated in their own way. Again, I'm so sorry :(

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

Most people think Bonten is synonymous with fear.

But they are all wrong. Kokonoi knows better.

Bonten is synonymous with pain, it was born in it.

He still remembers the day that Bonten was created, even if it wasn't the official date, any of the executives would pinpoint the exact same moment.

Probably, only Koko could actually offer a coherent narrative of that night. The only outsider of all the chaos unraveling in front of him.

He still has nightmares of what he saw. But is not what happened what haunts him, no. Is the voices, the faces surrounding him.

Wakasa covered in blood, his eyes looking completely empty. His blank stare, like he couldn't believe who this blood belonged to. Benkei's hand on his friend shoulder, tearing up like a baby.

Takeomi curled up in the floor, sobbing next to his sister's body. Saying “it should've been me” over and over, the older man stuck in a loop of guilt and denial.

The former members of Tenjiku looking shocked, not moving a finger for what was supposed to be their gang, their leader. Koko spent enough time with them to know that, even if they were ruthless, seeing the leader of another gang being shot like that... Was too familiar.

Anyone who looked at them could see they never agreed with that. The ghost of Izana Kurokawa still lingered over them.

Kakucho was shaking, his lips trembling. The rain and the blood mixing with red snow in the scarred boy's mind.

The Haitani brothers unconsciously getting closer to each other. Ran pulling his arm around Rindou in a protective way, the younger one allowing it without complains. Both of them staring at Sanzu, terrified with the possibility of being on the pinkette boy place.

Sanzu's screams were the worst of it. The excruciating pain in his voice while he was holding Senju's body. His little sister's body. How he looked at Takeomi, tears rolling down his cheeks, his gaze filled with hate when he spoke to his older brother “I agree, it should've been you.”

Mikey standing there, the void in his eyes while his knuckles kept dripping with South blood. The man's body at his feet.

That gaze, dark and lacking of any emotion. Pure void that swallowed everything around.

(That swallowed them, trapped them like moths that flied too close to the sun)

Bonten was born from pain.

Bonten grew in pain, thrived with it.

And, Kokonoi is sure that whatever destiny awaits for them...

Bonten will die in pain.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #bonten timeline #i broke my own heart #me writing🌻 #ken wakui pay my theraphy bills #drabble #hurt/no comfort #angst #akashi siblings angst #tokyo revengers fic #sanzu haruchiyo #kakucho #haitani rindou #haitani ran #haitani brothers #akashi siblings #akashi takeomi #senju kawaragi #sano manjiro #kokonoi hajime #wakasa imaushi #arashi keizou #s62 generation #canon complicit

[pollyna]

I read this fic on ao3 where Mav tells Ice they aren't worth risking it all, because Mav worked too hard to be in a good place and he doesn't want to lose that. And it made me thing. Mav says they aren't worth it, that whatever love they could have isn't worth it and he doesn't regret it. But Ice doesn't stop loving him or resent him for that: he takes all this love and tries to help Mav to stay where he wants. For Mav, maybe, their love isn't worth it, but for Ice? For Ice is worth everything, even years later, when they hadn't talk to each other in years. It's worth it, because Mav is worth it.

#i broke my own heart #and i should leave a comment undet the fic #still i want to fight this concept so fucking hard oH MY GOD #jesus mary and all the angles on their perches #icemav #oneside icemav

[vampelric]

And that was a lie man how could they

MY BOYS

#edward elric #ling yao #fma manga #i broke my own heart #once again #edling

[completelymindfucked]

It chips away at dean’s soul bit by bit, these nights John spends drowning himself in whiskey-scented memories of a woman long gone. But he endures it silently for his father's sake - bears the name that's not his own on trembling lips, lets rough hands map Mary's silhouette over his skin in the dark. Because God help him, it's the only times John looks at Dean with something like tenderness or pride rather than disappointment. And it's more than Dean’s had in all their hard years on the road.

So he submits to the lie if only to glimpse a version of his father who might've loved him, once. Who claims his body as thoroughly as any lover, branding worship into every secret inch with lips and teeth and whiskey-stained words of adoration meant for a ghost. It's selfish, Dean knows, and his virtue is sacrificed on the altar of his own desperate need. But with John marking him wholly as his own under cover of darkness, it's almost possible to pretend a future where they could truly belong to each other without shadows of the past.

And so Dean bears it all silently - aching bruises and fractured soul alike - to keep this small illusion alive, if only for a night. To cling to the fantasies that sustain him through their brutal lives once reality calls John back in the morning. It will have to be enough. For now, their stolen moments will have to suffice.

#dean winchester #john winchester #deanjohn #johndean #wincest #please #i broke my own heart #wincest writing

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

Had the inevitable conversation with the 8yo about "If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be", debating the pros & cons of a dinner party vs one-on-one conversations, etc.

And I realised my knee-jerk answer (I'd like to hang out with Neil Gaiman & Michael Sheen, because they're already mates and both seem cool and I've got loads of things I'd want to talk about with both of them) would actually be a fucking nightmare...

...because I would give myself away as being an unread, uncultured, philistine with a mediocre education and absolutely nothing interesting to bring to a conversation.

Reader, my whole concept of this fantasy of 'your ideal dinner party' or 'one person you could spend the day with' has just gone *poof* in my head when I realised I'd actually need to contribute and I am not at all interesting.

Please excuse me while I go cry into my Ribena.

Fuck, even my drink is mediocrity in a glass.

#things i think about #i broke my own heart #never meet your heroes #neil gaiman #michael sheen

[electromignion]

Carving pumpkins 🎃

31st of October 1980

Jeremy Bradshaw is 5, and it’s one of the last memories he has with his father, Thomas, as he is going to disappear on the night of the 15th to the 16th of November 1980 💔

I’m very sorry as I’m also heartbroken by what I did 😭

But I like to think that Jeremy would end up being very nostalgic of Halloween because of that, and would be the one having candies to give is any kid would ring at his flat on Halloween’s night, and he’d even have candies for his student because he’s cool ™

I wanted also to draw Thomas Bradshaw for once because that doesn’t happen much kdkdkd (it’s a quick drawing so no intricate backgrounds or anything because I was really inspired by this idea:)

And when I saw this yesterday my brain just went immediately “Jeremy and Thomas Bradshaw” so here y’all go!

I also like to think that Jeremy has kept that t-shirt in his closet because it reminds him dearly of his father and still wears it time to time to this day 🥺

Speaking of the tee, I did research to do accurate touristy t-shirts so I got inspired by this one I had found on Etsy! (I thought that as Thomas worked for Bridgewater he must have had gotten something like that at some point AND it’s also a nice way to get a nod to the podcast like that 🤧)

#bridgewater podcast fanart #bridgewater fanart #jeremy bradshaw fanart #thomas bradshaw fanart #bridgies #bridgewater podcast #bridgewater #fanart #jeremy bradshaw #thomas bradshaw #continuation of my bridgewater headcanons #brainrot is brainrotting #Jeremy deserves hugs and love from everyone #I like to think that nowadays he celebrates Hollywood with Vip and Liv because I see them as besties so much #i broke my own heart #and the date Thomas disappears in my caption is the canon date he disappears in the show because I like accuracy and research too much #speaking of research to get accurate clothing I spent an ungodly amount of time looking at JCPenney and Sears clothing catalogs from 1980 #and also vintage 80s tourist shirts on Etsy and why the hell are they costing 100+ dollars #new headcanon unlocked

[wellofdean]

Here's what I think: Cas knows Dean's heart, and in Despair The Truth, when he says "The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have" he's not saying that he knows he can't have Dean's love, or that he thinks Dean doesn't return his feelings. He knows Dean loves him. How could he not? He's saying he knows he can't allow himself to avow it, and have the happiness of being with Dean, living in the full light of that love, because...

#help #i broke my own heart #spn #destiel #nov 5th

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

What killed Eddie wasn't dying in the upside down. It was watching Wayne as he mourned his son. Eddie reached his hand out to touch Wayne, but the man slipped through his fingers each time. Eddie would've done anything to be able to reach out and comfort his old man just one more time.

#i woke up with this in my head #i broke my own heart #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson ghost #ghost eddie #wayne and eddie munson #uncle wayne #stranger things blurb #eddie blurb

[sif-the-tsunami]

I dreamed last night of a version of you that doesn't exist.

We solved our problems with gentle kisses, and you held me close to apologize for hurting me. You told me you did it to protect your own heart, not realizing how badly you hurt mine in the process.

I could taste your lips, I felt your beard brush against my neck as you held me from behind.

You were adventurous and brave.

You were tender and kind.

I dreamt of a you who loved me the way I deserve. A you that my parents liked. A version where I felt safe in your arms.

That's the relationship I'm mourning. Not the one we had, because the you that exists here is none of the things I need.

#i broke my own heart #see sif shitpost

[soulinkpoetry]

In hurting you, I hurt myself.

.

.

Regardless if I lost this fight, I fought for you because you mattered.

#i broke my own heart #soulinkpoetry #poetry #she writes #thoughts #feelings #poets on tumblr

[fangirlingindefinitely]

Young Ahsoka: “Is everything going to be okay?”

A moment passes. Adult Ahsoka is silent.

Young Ahsoka: “…Oh.”

#star wars fanart #Star Wars #star wars art #star wars what if #star wars #ahsoka tano #ahsoka #ahsoka tano fanart #the mandalorian ahsoka #sw the clone wars #swtcw #swtcw ahsoka #sctcw art #the mandalorian #tcw #the clone wars fanart #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #sad fanart #i broke my own heart #tcw art #i did this to my own heart

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Okay, yesterday I had a shared brain riot with @just-sp-in-inginthevoid about Kakucho not having a real birthday and the s62 throwing him unbirthday mad tea parties. More of once in a year because, hey, it's an unbirthday! Mostly because the Haitani brothers wanted a excuse to be extras and dress up, but also because they decided it was a funny way of trying to find out his real birthday (of course, Izana was the one that decided the official date).

In some way, this is the second part of this drabble here. What could be at least in Bonten!timeline.

Kakucho used to loves his unbirthdays. Before everything changed.

(Drabble of Kakucho during Bonten. There is some subtle KakuIza, but it's just a tinny moment easy to ignore and see it as platonic)

Warnings: Angst and hurt without too much comfort. I'm so sorry, I swear the idea was hilarious in my mind, but then Bonten timeline appeared and it refused to not be angsty. So yeah, I'm so sorry, Kakucho 😭

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

"Happy unbirthday!"

Kakucho almost jumped when Ran, Rindou and Mochi screamed at him as soon as he entered his office.

He just sighed, because of course, he should've know better. It was Februart 1st, he's official "unbirthday".

But the scarred man thought, that now that they were all adults (and criminals, for god's sake), this surprises parties were over. Or at least, the costumes were over. He should've know better, Ran and Rindou missing a chance to dress up and be weirdos? Not in a million years. Even the poor Mochi was wearing some ridiculous bunny-ears.

"I'm not going to wear a costume, so don't even try it."

Kakucho managed to say as soon as he saw Ran's mischievous smile. Rindou looked disappointed, but the two brothers quickly shrugged that off. They tried every time, but no even Izana himself could make Kakucho dress with an "Alice" costume.

Oh yeah, his unbirthday parties had a theme. Always the same one. A mad tea party in Alice in Wonderland. But the Haitani brothers always wore a different costume. Every damn time. They could repeat characters, but outfit? Never.

Chesire Cat Ran smiled at him, not caring about his grumpy attitude.

"Come on, Kakucho, we deserve some fun. So sit down and drink your tea, before I decide this was a fiasco and we need to throw you another party soon"

Kakucho shivered with the idea. No thanks, he still remembered that times (He tried so hard to forger, yet, he still remembered everything). All the s62 generation throwing him a unbirthday party more than once a year. Because for some reason, the Roppongi rulers decided it was a good way of finding his real birthday. Ran was sure they would get it right eventually, Rindou was convinced that Kakucho would have a big reaction when they finally did it. Of course, both of them were wrong.

So, even if his "official" birthday was the date Izana decided for him, even if it was just supposed to be February 1st, he had more tea parties that he was able to count. Izana used to joke about how Kakucho was at least fourty with so many celebrations.

Maybe is that, he thought, the memory of Izana's laugh being too real for a second. Because now he finds himself smiling softly while drinking tea and eating cake with what's rest of his family. Mad Had Rindou is making jokes about Sanzu's insanity and Kakucho is laughing, he's actually enjoying this.

Kakucho had fun, even if they could only stole a couple hours for that. But he felt good for this hours, less alone. The reminder that there was still people with him that shared the same memories, the same grief. The left pieces of his broken family. Kakucho was not alone and his friends never failed to show him that when he needed it most.

Later that night, after finally finishing the job and cleaning everything up, Kakucho was unable to sleep. The memories were too present this time.

He still remembered the last umbirthday he was actually happy. A few days before the Kanto Incident. Even if everything was getting more dangerous, even with Kisaki's plots, with the raids on Toman, the Haitani brothers decided that it was the best day to do it.

Or maybe it was exactly because of that, who knows. Kakucho certainly needed to relax that day, he was tense with everything that was happening, with seeing that bastard manipulating Izana.

But that day, Izana shone. That day, Izana didn't talk about Mikey or Toman, focusing his full attention on his servant. He dressed up like the queen of hearts, like always. Refusing to wear any costume that didn't show how majestic he was. Kakucho thought the tanned boy always looked like a king no matter what he was wearing. But he never told him that. He never told him so many things...

Kakucho cries himself to sleep that night, curled up in his bed like a kid.

The image of Izana smiling at him printed on his retine.

Overlapping with the last time he ever saw Izana's genuine smile directed at him.

Snow threathening to fill his nightmares one more time.

His own regrets eating him alive.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #izana kurokawa #kakucho #haitani ran #haitani rindou #s62 being a found family because i say so #kakuiza #kakucho headcanons #poor kakucho #i broke my own heart #bonten timeline #me writing🌻 #i blame tenjiku for the angst #in my tenjiku depression era #tokyo revengers fic #drabble #canon complicit

[depressedlover2000]

#i broke my own heart #i broke my rules for you #depressing quotes #love poem #depressing shit #deppresive #sorry for being depressing #books #love qoute #love is dead #love quotes #vintage #autumn poetry #fall #fall aesthetic #love is a lie #love and death #found on pinterest #death quotes #let me go #let me sleep