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greenflamedwriter · 1 month

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Vampire Au | JiuYuan

Okay so, both Shen Jiu and Wu Yanzi come across an abandoned hut on the side of a river, the river is also violent and not shallow so it's the perfect dumping spot for bodies. So when both Demonic cultivator and disciple come across a man sleeping in the shade it was obvious Wu Yanzi planned on mugging him then using the body for demonic cultivation-

So after Shen Jiu waits outside as look out, acting bored. It was normal for the screams to begin that was usual.

"Shen Jiu! Help this Master!"

The fact that it was his Master screaming in pain? not usual?

Shen Jiu ran forward to the doorway in time to see the sleeping man, with a demonic face bite into Wu Yanzi savagaly, blood gushing from his neck then the demon? Threw his master on the floor and spat-

"Not only do you have the nerve to attack this one- you don't even have the decency to be a filling meal!"

A-a Jiangshi!

Wu Yanzi was dead on the floor and the Jiangshi gazed at him, raising his clawed hands gestured.

"you. Come here."

Shen Jiu wanted to run but suddenly his feet was moving forward, the man sliced open his finger then raised it. "Swallow."

Shen Jiu face twitched in disgust, as the finger pushed and rubbed against his tongue then withdraw as he swallowed. "Now you are my servant, dispose of this trash and guard me while I sleep during the day."

Shen Jiu scowled but did as he was told, not before pilfering Wu Yanzi's items before dumping the body in the river. It seemed he had some freedom within his orders.

And it appeared he traded one master for another.

When the sunlight set, the man immedietly groaned as he arched his back. "That was the worst fucking nap of my entire unlife- oh you're still here."

"Obviously." Shen Jiu sneered, and the man rolled his eyes. "Great- well this should work out for me. The night is short, and this humble master never wants to be out in te sunlight."

Telling Shen Jiu his weakness? Either he was stupid, unlikely or he was testing Shen Jiu with this knowledge. Wu Yanzi wasn't so different.

When they journeyed to a local village, luckily close to the rampaging rivers, the Jiangshi gave Shen Jiu money. "Go find a nice inn for us, and buy something for yourself after."

Shen Jiu scowled, as the man vanished and Shen Jiu walked away, he couldn't run even when he tried to...although stopping outside a brothel and was able to enter and purchase some rooms.

...Guess he did have some freedom with how the command is worded.

He was able to go to a blacksmiths and buy some blades. Small knifes were the most affordable- and easy to hide and steal.

It was better to pay for something and seen as a customer, then leave suspiciously. But when he found his new master, and took him to their 'inn' he scowled at the relief. "Ah good- I was worried since I forgot to mention I needed something to eat." Shen Jiu scowled, to think he put these women in danger-!

As soon as they entered, Shen Jiu with a dark scowl, and the man beaming and looking way to comfortable-

pov switch:

Not realising that it was all bravado, when he was alone he had no shame but now he had a kid and got he was only fourteen for christ sake! Shen Yuan transmigrating as a freakin Jiangshi in PIDW had to be a cosmic joke! "Hellow young masters!" The host spoke jovially, "May we interest you in some refreshments, one lady or two?" He glanced at Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan cleared his throat.

"Hmm, just one would do, and if you could..."

He placed the coins on the table, "A room with food and drink and a young man would suit me just fine." Shen Yuan smiled bashfully. And he was met with different reactions. The host nodded, probably not surprised. But Shen Jiu looked at him like he was an alien.

And yeah- then there was the feeding- okay he didn't need to sleep with them, but he had this whole routine thing and having someone watch, a kid at that- if he could blush he would but he's not ashamed! It's not wrong it's just food!

When the man came in, Shen Yuan would usually be more blunt, but felt that he had to be nice about it. "I uh, I prefer doing it myself, you just get comfortable," Shen Yuan took the mans waist leading him to the bed "And relax."

All it took was a few kisses and nibbles, and the man was defiently playing it up, moaning like his life depended on it. Shen Yuan hovered over him, if the man noticed a certain...lack of reaction he'll tense up and be suspicious-

Shen Yuan bit down, and now that was a real moan, even the mans hips thrusted up, sometimes that happened. Shen Yuan fed as much as he could then stopped, just enough to make them tired enough to believe this was just a client being too rough.

Shen Yuan licked the wound clean watching it heal, then pulled back gazing at the mans eyes who relaxed, pupils wide and droopy under his thrall.

"Now, you'll leave this room disapointed but unsurprised that this was the worst client you have ever had the misfortune of laying with. So bad you want to erase the whole ebarrising thing from your memory."

The man left and Shen Yuan slumped back into the bed, just enough for another day he could lay low here for a while and when he notices how tired the patrons are he'll hop skip and jump to the next town no problem-

Shen Jiu shifted and Shen Yuan turned forgetting he was there. "Why not lie? Why make him believe it was a lousy lay?"

"Why not? More incentive to never think of this Master and become suspicious." Shen Yuan shrugged. Now he was stuck with Shen Jiu, he could send the boy out to find him a nice little hovel to sleep in then dismiss him. Then again he seemed decent with cultivation- but if he lets him go what chances are he would come back to kill him?

...hmmm.

"Boy, tell me. What am I?"

Shen Jiu's eyes narrowed, maybe from being called boy. "A Jiangshi." Shen Yuan blinked surprised, huh. "I'm not stupid and my names is Shen Jiu." He bit, oh okay. "How do you kill a Ghost Head Spider?" "Strike the temple before it releases its baby like cries to alert others."

hmmm, so Shen Yuan began to quiz Shen Jiu, the other still stiff and answering every one like his life depended on it. Shen Yuan sighed, moving over to the table and brightening to see food- he forgot about that.

"Shen Jiu come dig in!" He spoke, sitting down and pilling his own food onto a plate, Shen Jiu moved over cautiously.

"I thought you didn't need food?"

Shen Yuan smiled, "Ah but it's a form of nutrients, if a Jiangshi has a restrictive diet then they need other things to keep it going. I only fed a little so this is to make up the rest. Most Jiangshi don't need food if they drain a person kinda like Inedia to a cultivator- ah you don't have to eat if you don't want to."

Shen Jiu was physically trembling with the chopsticks showing he was fighting back.

Shen Yuan sighed, "Sorry it's been a while since I've last had a companion."

"Companion?" Shen Jiu snapped, "More like a slave! There is no point acting like the domesticated monster if I have to find you victims to feed on to stay alive. So don't pretend."

Shen Yuan blinked, then continued eating. Of course, that was probably what the other man did.

"Hmm, this one was rudely inturupted in his sleep being attacked and had defended himself, being half starved I wasn't in the right mind, it doesn't excuse it. My ire was towards that master of yours and he payed that with his life. You on the other hand I have no such animosity towards. But disrupting my sleep as well as tainting my home so I had to relocate? That was a debt that had to be payed." He pointed his chipsticks his way "You payed that. And now, we're near a cultivation sect Zhao hao temple, you're a bit too...excitable to being a monk but if needs must-"

"No it has to be Cang Qiong."

Shen Yuan blinked, food stuffed in his mouth, "Hmm?"

Shen Jiu wasn't looking at him.

"It has to be Cang Qiong,"

...really? Shen Yuan sighed dropping his food and scrubbing his hand across his face, "Need I ask why?" He whined, if a Jiangshi went to Cang Qiong he was beyond undead!

"No don't answer- ugh fine. I'll escort you then you can hop skip and jump the rest of the way. Alright?"

Shen Jiu scowled "Why can't you let me go now?"

Shen Yuan leaned back tilting his head to the side, "If you leave now, chances are a mass of cultivators will break down these doors and kill me. On the road in the middle of the night only trapped to go in one direction or have someone kill me? I want to live thanks. And you're a bright kid can defiently go the rest of the way by yourself and not find yourself in trouble."

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And Shen Yuan whenever he thought, this was it. This was the village he'll abandon Shen Jiu in and leave him to it. And yet each night they rested up at a Brothel instead, as they kept getting closer Shen Yuan WAS going to leave he really was! But he needed to teach Shen Jiu so much stuff! Sure he learned how to write and read from Qui Jianlou, but academically especially for Cang Qiong- Shen Jiu was going to be behind with the lack of clan, or or fortune to back him up he would face bullying. But if he kept his head down, but still presented as a scholar and kept his head down? So Shen Yuan quized him, he even taught him how to spar in the way he knew how!

"Look, I'll be honest Shen Jiu, I can't teach you forms or how to wield a sword properly. BUT as a Jiangshi and a supernatural enemy I can help you hone your speed and strength! So from now on you will be doing a lot of heavy lifting." Shen Jiu scowled.

"You just want me to fill up your bath water and give the Jiejies a rest."

"Correct and it helps you gain strength, also your diet needs to change too. With the excessive workout you'll burn through so that way the ecsessive weight will become muscle."

Shen Jiu scowled "Fine."

And of course it showed results. Shen Jiu had to do push ups, pull ups, Shen Yuan even made him do handstand push ups. "Good work, you're doing well. Now do it with one hand." "You-"

He heard him fall over and sighed "You'll have to repeat that set."

Shen Jiu was gaining muscle and looks, especially from the Jiejies the next neighborhood they went to.

And on the road with no one around, Shen Yuan would attack Shen Jiu, little things like tripping him up, drawing on his face. If Shen Jiu failed then he would have to do more sets. Shen Jiu instincts was getting faster, and was even able to fight him for a solid 30's seconds. But of course, when Shen Jiu realised this he became cocky and slipped up.

"You're problem is you think too much. And that throws you off." Shen Jiu scowled down at the bonfire then nodded. "Yes, Master."

"Agh enough of that Master stuff it makes me feel creepy. Just Shen Yuan is fine."

Shen Jiu looked up at that, "Shen Yuan?"

"Not the same as yours. Shen for Wall." He corrected, then smiled as he leaned back. "But going through town we could say we're siblings. A-jiu my adorable little brother!" "No."

"aha- you're no fun."

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Shen Jiu was on edge, assuming Shen Yuan would take him down the dark path in the middle of nowhere and just kill him. And yet Shen Yuan would glance at the forest with a firmed lip and keep walking. When they went to the brothel once that was one thing. The fact that he kept doing it, Shen Jiu never mentioned it, assuming if he called it out he would be punished. And yet, the closer they got to Cang Qiong. The fact that Shen Yuan fed him more and even made him do excersizes-

Shen Jiu assumed he wanted Shen Jiu tired on purprose so he couldn't run or escape. But when he saw he was getting stronger and gaining muscle he was honestly surprised. And when Shen Yuan quized him on plants, with each one they found on the road and telling him in depth about it's properties it didn't make sense to waste his time telling Shen Jiu this only to kill him off later on. He thought maybe Shen Yuan lied about taking him to Cang Qiong, but when he helped him hone his senses and have faster instincts...it just didn't make sense. "Hmm, Shen Jiu maybe we should go on a mission!" Shen Yuan spoke, after passing him a rented sword.

Shen Jiu almost missed what he said next too busy staring at the weapon in his hands! He could kill Shen Yuan right now-

"With a mission under your belt, that'll give you experience! Remember you're too old for the entrance exam SO you have to be good I mean really good that they couldn't dare pass you up to being plucked by another sect!"

And when Shen Yuan watched Shen Jiu on his mission, just observing and not helping at all, even observed as Shen Jiu took down the monster plauging the town.

Once he landed and looked at his Master for approval- then looked away why was he looking for his approval! Shen Yuan hummed nodding. "Very good, you were fast and efficient," He stepped closer and humed. "Now, is there anything on this beast worth salvaging?"

Shen Jiu froze, he was never taught that.

"Apologies Master, this one doesn't know how..."

Shen Yuan laughed, "Ah I forgot, well this is a learning experience! come here." And he taught him everything he needed to know.

When Shen Jiu was finally left alone and trusted to pay for their lodging, he asked the patron. "How far is Cang Qiong Mountain?" The man paused, "Hmm just a few towns North and you'll be there, this humble one see's you have a sword is your master a cultivator?" Shen Jiu eyes flickered "Not one from a popular sect, my Master is a rogue Cultivator." If this man thought they could triple the price he had another thing coming. "Ah,"

"Also he would prefer," Shen Jiu stared at him cooley, he wasn't embarresed "Male courtesans."

"Ah of course-"

"Preferably someone older than myself, he's not a fan of young ones." The man nodded again. Shen Jiu remembered that incident, Shen Yuan was in a pleasent mood but when he saw the thirteen year old it was like something snapped. He used his thrall to tell the prositute that he was way too young for this type of work and then brought in the owner and thralled them as well. Telling them that any worker under eighteen should work as cleaners or in the kitchens and be payed twice as much!

Shen Jiu stared as the owner nodded.

"M-Master why would you do that? That could ruin this mans buisness." Shen Yuans eyes were bloodshot as he glared after the man wobbling away. "Then it should rot for all I care."

Shen Jiu never understood it, wasn't it normal for both genders as long as someone was willing to pay. But Shen Yuan seemed deeply unnerved by that.

"Also what the fuck is a pint sized childs blood going to do for me? Men have more women and children less so!"

"...Why would women have less blood?"

Shen Yuan shrugged, "I don't know, periods maybe?"

Shen Jiu didn't ask what a period was, Shen Yuan was still pissed and more annoyed when no one came to their room! "You thralled him but didn't ask-" "Agh! Shen Jiu can you just, I'll break his neck if I talk to him again!"

And Shen Yuans eyes was red, his teeth extended and even his voice was a deep growl. Shen Jiu ran out like his ass was on fire, Shen Yuan faltered hand extended then covered his face with his hand.

He didn't mean to scare Shen Jiu...

Not realising that Shen Jiu collapsed against the wall, feeling weird. He wasn't a stranger to attraction he knew what it was...in theory. Thanks to the Jiejies being so nice and talking to him assuming his Master and He had that type of relationship especially when he requested those types at the Brothel.

They spoke ...in detail...and Shen Jiu only to be polite nodded, but now it all came back to him in detail-

He wonderd if maybe Shen Yuan wanted him that way...especially since he was getting older, would Shen Yuan on the road...ask that of Shen Jiu? Push him down in the woods in the dark? Both fumbling around in the damp dew grass-

Shen Jiu shook his head, forget that! He had to find Shen Yuan someone to feed on- His traitorius mind flashed with the image of Shen Yuan feeding on him. And the fact that he found a young man similair to his face well...

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When Shen Jiu stood before Cang Qiong Mountain right at the foot of the staircase, with two disciples stationed at the gates, thats when Shen Yuan leaned down.

"Okay, so I attack you-"

"What!?"

"Shush, I attack you, call you a worthless servant and you say you're not going to give me innocents to feed on anymore-"

Wait what!? "And then you 'break' out my thrall, and when those two finally help, thats when I'll run away all "agh curses, Cang Qiong disciples ahh!" and you'll be taken in as a legendary strong cultivator who fought against a vampires thrall and won!"

There was stars in Shen Yuans eyes, he looked excited to 'act' and put on a show, but Shen Jiu couldn't- this was Cang Qiong there was a chance that they would hunt down Shen Yuan and kill him!

"N-no master this Shen Jiu doesn't think this is a-"

"Xiao Jiu!"

Both flinched and turned to see a party of returning Disciples probably coming from a mission and Shen Jiu's eyes widened to see-

"Qi-ge?" His voice broke, and Shen Yuan stood their awkwardly as the young disciple almost ran forward eyes shining in wonder.

"You're alive!" He sounded so joyful, and almost took a step forward but his Shizun stopped him, eyes narrowed in Shen Yuans direction. "Yue Qingyuan who is this?"

Yue Qingyuan straightened. "This is a childhood friend of mine, Shen Jiu." "Hmm," Shen Yuan shivered seeing those intense eyes looking at him. Before he could open his mouth, Shen Jiu spoke before Shen Yuan decided to reveal what he was just to shove Shen Jiu into their arms. "This is my Master, Shen Yuan. He has been educating this Shen Jiu about cultivation." The Sect Leader hummed.

"Really?"

"Shen Jiu is truly the prodigy, but this lowly one has nothing else to teach him. Both of us were wondering if there was any vacancies."

The Sect Leaders eyebrow twitched, "You think we just take any random child of the street?"

Shen Yuan glanced at the disciples then back to the sect leader confused. "Yes, you have an entrance exam open to anyone of the public." "Yes, we don't accept all of them."

"You accept the students who pay. Or you pilfer off prodigies." Shen Jiu's hands twitched, he was NOT a prodigy what was Shen Yuan saying! "With the right guidance, Shen Jiu can be the the pride of Cang Qiong." The Sect Leader sighed, until Yue Qingyuan spoke, "Please Shizun! Shen Jiu is good enough to be a cultivator!" "Yes but he's too old even for some instruction-"

"Then see what he can do, place him in a peak and if he fails then kick him off the mountain. What are you really losing?"

The man openly glared at Shen Yuan and of course his Master had to needle him more. "Just see what he can do, then you can decide if he's worthy of Cang Qiong or not."

"You're not going to stop are you?" "No." "Very well."

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Shen Jiu was surprised, when the Sect Leader nodded and a random disciple came forward drawing his sword, Shen Jiu followed suit. Fighting here? at the base of the mountain!?

He was going to get his ass kicked and it was all Shen Yuans fault, he glared at him and Shen Yuan had to the nerve to look offended in a "Who me?" gesture.

But when the signal fell and the disciple lunged, cocky smile on his face. Shen Jiu was surprised it ended so quickly. Thanks to endurance training and the his speed from Shen Yuan, he was able to dodge and move just as fast to disarm the disciple. "..."

Even Shen Jiu looked surprised, and was irritated by Shen Yuans proud grin.

"Your form is off, without the speed and agilty anyone could easily pulverise you into the ground." The sect leader spoke, not missing Shen Yuans scowl. "However, this has been inlightning. Very well. We'll see which Peak Lord will accept your prodigay, and you will be billed from the inconviniance." Shen Yuan sighed, "This Master had a feeling you would say that."

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When Shen Yuan finally found a brothel ah he was so used to an assitant! Maybe he might thrall another young man and teach them everything he knew. Seeing Shen Jiu soak up all that knowledge made him prideful.

But when he returned after sending off the money, and then retired to his room paused outside the door knowing someone was inside already. Before he could run he took a step back into someones arms. "Don't run."

The man reached forward opening the door and pushing him inside his room, he gaped to see the Sect Leader standing inside, he turned scowling up at the man who pushed him in not recognising the uniform.

"Be nice shidi, this one has fangs."

The man huffed then stood at the door arms crossed, meanwhile the Sect Leader was covering the window. He was trapped. "Okay this one can't be in trouble with back-payments already-"

"It's nothing like that...Shen Yuan was it?" He nodded, glancing at the table with the teapot then back to the sect leader. "This one had heard some strange stories about a master and his disciple. Going to brothels." Shen Yuan pursed his lips, "Is this a...strange roundabout way of asking for a threesome? I'm flattered but neither of you are my type." "Why you-" The man at the door almost drew his sword and Shen Yuans face split into a smile- "Enough Shidi, you're too old to be goaded so easily. No tales of men having no memory after having one night with the Master. That the two travel at night," Shen Yuan couldn't sweat. But god was it a close thing. "And this Sect Leader detected it right away." Shen Yuan tilted his head, "What?" "What you are-" Shen Yuan didn't let him finish, grabbing the teapot and throwing it towards the Sect Leader even with his speed- these were two experienced Cultivating Masters! The an used his sword to parry the teapot, and Shen Yuan in the distraction dove past him out the window-

Then choked when something grabbed his robe, like holding the scruff of fur around a cats neck- he undid his sash and dropped, the Cultivator cursed as he watched Shen Yuan sprint across the tiled roof.

Shit, shit shit shit shit- well what a good unlife he had a shame it was so freakin short- The man guarding the door landed in front of him and Shen Yuan yelped swearing like a sailor and skidding to the left dropping down into the alley way but was slammed into the wall by the sect leader.

"Now now little Jiangshi, if this Master wanted you dead, you would be dead by now."

Shen Yuan fidgeted in his grasp, trying to get out then sighing. "What do you want?"

"A conversation with tea, but you decided to make it difficult-"

"What want me to nicely sit here and say 'please Master Cultivator kill me quickly' I'm a monster you're a cultivator of course I won't sit there nicely and take it!" Shen Yuan snapped his teeth lengthing. "Who said anything about killing you?"

huh?

Suddenly a tailsman was planted onto his back and Shen Yuan yelped falling like a ton of bricks face first into the ground.

"See, Shidi? look how weak he is." The Sect Leader sounded delighted, and Shen Yuan scrambled trying to get up it's like a fat buddha was sitting on him he couldn't move.

"Just because it hasn't fed in a while doesn't mean it's not dangerous-"

"Pick him up, we'll talk at Cang Qiong." Shen Yuan blinked when he was hefted up, this guy was stupidly strong!

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Kidnapping aside, Shen Yuan didn't expect to being the resident pet of Qing Jing Peak. After seeing Shen Jiu's new Master and being forcefully put to work Shen Yuan did fear for his life. But with all the food he can eat, and the blood given to him by the doctors he was basically living a cushy life AND he can read all the tomes of the Qing Jing Peak library!

Ah things were looking up!

"Ah that's bad..." "How so?" "Just...bad, weird after taste." The doctors hummed when Shen Yuan tasted blood he was able to tell who was healthy or not. The cultivators weren't stupid they never gave him information like a guinie pig just gave him samples and wrote down his answers. He didn't think anything of it.

After learning the man who got him was the Peak Lord of Bai Zhan he avoided him like the plauge, Shen Yuan was polite to everyone even reluctently the Sect Leader after figuring out what the man wanted.

He was so impressed with Shen Jiu he wanted Shen Yuan to duplicate what he was teaching to their students! Shen Jiu besides his form in fighting was astounding in everything else. So now Shen Yuan was a reluctant hallmaster.

Of course when Shen Yuan was given someone to feed on he had to admit it was strange for Cang Qiong to allow such a thing- then immedietly spat out the blood once it hit his tongue.

"Oh my god ew! What was that!"

Cheng Liang scowled, the Bai Zhan brute. "Blood, you need it to survive draining innocents is a line we won't cross-"

"Draining? I've never feed more than I needed to! and I can't live on this...doing bad things taints the blood." "Well it's this or nothing." "Then I'll take nothing." -------------------------------------------------------

Of course the sect leader sent in Yue Qingyuan, and Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow. "What is this?" "Feed, you're looking worse for wear. Yue Qingyuan offered."

He doubted it. "Whats wrong with your blood?" "Finally admitting your motive to killing the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong?" "I never wanted to be here!" Shen Yuan sighed, then looked Yue Qingyuan in the eyes. "This won't hurt." He fed and sighed, it's been...a long time since he's had a good meal. Even so, no need to take more than he needed, as he pulled back licking the wound clean for it to heal he flinched at the hand suddenly cupping his head.

"That wasn't enough."

Shen Yuan eyes narrowed, "Yes it was, now let go-"

"He can take it." Shen Yuan shoved both away almost falling over, "No he can't. This one is fine so-"

"You're weak, embarrsingly so, how can this mountain expect you to survive like this?" Shen Yuan looked at him in befudlement "I've been survivng pretty well so far."

asshole, he didn't say.

"You are wasting your potential, a Jiangshi can never be a cultivator, but can still get stronger-"

"Shouldn't you want the opposite? Isn't it better having a tamed Jiangshi?" Now the Sect Leader smirked, showing his real face that made Shen Yuan almost duck down but kept still instead. "On the contrary, this Master finds no purpose in keeping things that are weak."

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secretconstellations · 25 days

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Rain (Reader x sad!Nat)

pairings: Reader x Natasha Romanoff

warnings: existential topics, slight mention of death, slight swearing

summary: reader is content. they know their place in the world, and that's with the avengers. so when nat comes back from a mission lost and drained, the reader takes it upon themself to comfort her and impart some advice. hurt/comfort!

a/n: hello loves! i hope you're having a lovely day :) this is my first fic so i'd really appreciate feedback as i'd really like to grow my account and cater my work better to you. i hope you enjoy it!! also, requests are open!

Rain hit the car windows. The dim street lamps bore into my retinas, disfigured by the streaks of rain my windshield wipers were struggling to wipe away. I had always liked the rain - that was, from a distance. From the warmth and safety of my car, I sat in silence, soaking in the gentle murmur of the rainfall. Specks of rain peppered my windows, each droplet configuring itself into a unique constellation of water on my window, only to be wiped away seconds later. It was a microcosm of life, I suppose. Beautiful and vibrant for a moment, only to disappear without a trace in the blink of an eye.

In an odd way, it made me smile. No one wants to live forever. Forever sounded so overwhelmingly long. I was okay with life being short and vapid. In a way, that's what gave it meaning. Somehow some form of cosmic junk had become this solar system, my planet. Had become me. And I would live and die and leave no real mark on the universe. And I was okay with that. It gave me the agency to choose my own meaning. And the meaning I chose was the Avengers. My family. A series of calamities had somehow given me the best family I could ask for after twenty-something years of living borderline alone, and the thought took my breath away every day. They were mine and I was theirs and we were okay.

Kind of.

Nat and Tony were due to come back from a week-log mission that evening, and by the sounds of it, they were pretty banged up. Nothing too bad, but they wouldn't be in the best shape. One never was following a mission, after all. I had left to pick up something to cheer the both of them up, and had settled on getting a whole lot of takeaway for the whole team. Nat's favourite restaurant was only maybe a half hour drive from the Avengers Tower, and I couldn't find it on any food delivery platforms so I went there myself and got us a great deal of food, all Nat and Tony's favourite meals. They would need it after a long week in the field.

My car came up to the driveway, the rain still falling in heaps. It was so loud now that I was sure it would punch a hole in the roof of my car. Through my foggy window, I could make out the silhouette of the Quinjet on the roof. They were back already! I was practically jumping out of my seat to see them. I collected all the food that I could carry without dropping and ran to the door, trying my best to shield the food from the rain. FRIDAY opened the door without me asking, and I practically sprinted up the stairs to the common room.

"Y/N! I was just about to ask where you were." Nat gave me a worn out smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as she made her way over to embrace me, Tony following suit.

"Hello, my loves." I beamed as the two of them attempted to hug me despite my busy arms. "How are you doing?"

"Y'know. Fine. But I would be a lot better if you let me know what the hell that divine smell is, Y/N." Tony smirked, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, I got takeout!" I sang.

At this the whole team began chattering, practically tripping over themselves to grab a bag and eat whatever was inside before I shooed them away to go wash their hands, as did I. I made my way to a nearby bathroom as the kitchen sink was crowded enough as it was and I didn't feel like waiting.

"Nat..."

Much to my surprise, Nat sat on the floor of the bathroom, knees to her chest in an almost fetal position. She looked so tired. I could hear the rain pattering against the window above her. The storm was gentler now, taking its final breaths. She looked up at the sound of my voice, her tired eyes struggling to focus on my face. Her characteristic, firey self-confidence had dissipated and she just seemed so... tired. It wasn't her.

"Nat, my lovely, what's wrong?" I caught myself using the little pet name someone some lifetime ago had called me. Maybe it would be of some comfort to Nat. "Nat?"

"Uh, I'm just tired, Y/N. It's nothing for you to worry about. Go eat. I'll be there in a minute."

"I'm here to help, love, I can't just leave you. Please tell me what's wrong." I said, keeping my voice as calm and reassuring as I could as I made my way to sit beside her.

She opened her mouth as if to protest, but crumpled as if she were carrying the weight of the heavens on her shoulders.

"I'm just tired of everyone dying." She croaked, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's so fucking pointless. We put our asses on the line every single day for people who just end up dying anyways. There's literally no point to any of this. We're just gonna die anyways, wouldn't it all just be better if we never existed? Yeah... It's all pointless, meaningless shit. I'm so tired of it!" Her voice had risen to an almost shout by this point.

"I know, I know..." I mused as I took her in my arms. "I know, Nat. It's so hard to see meaning sometimes, and that can be scary and tiring. We're on a floating rock and we'll die and be forgotten by the universe eventually, but Nat, that's okay. It doesn't mean there's no meaning. You mean so much to me and to the team, and everyone we save means something to someone. That matters. We have the freedom to choose our own meaning for our own little world. The universe can go fuck itself because the universe is what doesn't matter. Your meaning doesn't need to come from some cosmic overlord. For me, it's you all that gives me meaning. You are my world, my reason, my purpose. You just need to find yours."

We sat in silence for a bit, listening to the hiss of the rain and the echoes of our friends' laughter in the common room. I could feel every inch of her skin touching mine, each vibrant intricacy fighting for my attention. Her calloused fingers were cold, but her palms were sweaty. I didn't mind, though, I counted myself lucky to even be in her presence. Her red hair fell down about her waist, some getting caught in our embrace.

"Sorry." Nat finally spoke, as she pulled herself from me. "Sorry, this is so stupid. I'm being stupid. The mission was just harder than expected."

"Nat, you aren't being stupid at all! It's completely okay to feel this way, okay?" I turned her face in my direction. Her cheeks were soft, save for the little cuts that peppered her porcelain features. Gosh, looking at her felt like falling into bed after a long day of fighting and missions. She felt like home. "Okay?"

She nodded, a smile forming on her chapped lips.

"Let's go eat before the others finish all the food. I bought your favourite! Unless you want to sit here a while longer, that's okay too."

"Shit, I'm actually really hungry!" She giggled. "Yes, let's go eat. I'd like to see the others."

With that, I got up to wash my hands, and we made our way towards the sound of sweet laughter. Nat smiled at our friends. A real smile, this time. She smiled the smile of someone finding their purpose. Finding their meaning. Finding their home.

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cobragardens · 7 months

Text

God Is a Creepy-Ass Meta Mfer:

A Good Omens Essay

This essay features fan theory and speculation. DO NOT TAG NEIL GAIMAN IN ANY POST THAT INCLUDES OR REFERENCES THIS ONE.

The rest of this depends on accepting the premise that God's Plan is not always inscrutable in hindsight, i.e., that parts of that Plan can be discerned or identified as such once they have happened, even if the next moves of the Plan and its ultimate Purpose remain ineffable.

If you are willing to accept that premise, then I suggest we can conclude with reasonable certainty that Thesis Statement 1: Aziraphale's act of giving Adam the First Man the flaming sword is part of God's Plan, and so was Eve and Adam eating the Fruit.

The argument for the latter has been in circulation making even the beardiest of old Christian men scratch their heads for centuries, and in Good Omens, Crowley is the first being ever to make it:

The presence of the Tree in the Garden placed by an omnipotent being with literally infinite orchard space and security technology is a clear indication that God intends humans to interact with the Tree and sets humans up in a divine entrapment operation, giving God the opportunity to curse humanity and evict them from the Garden.

Diversion onto Thesis Statement 2 bc the Essayist Got Distracted: This establishes both the Bible and Good Omens as works of literature in the cosmic horror genre (not that Good Omens doesn't do plenty of its own work in so establishing itself).

In both these stories God is a being beyond humanity's understanding, functionally omniscient and omnipotent, who first creates and then interferes with humanity for unknown reasons and who does not necessarily have humanity's best interests in mind at any point. His/er reasoning and objectives for humanity are opaque, and S/he manipulates circumstances to create excuses to do humanity as a species and sometimes specific humans harm.

If you're not already familiar, go read all the shit God curses humans with when Eve and Adam snack on the Tree's Fruit. It's frighteningly cruel, if not outright psychopathic. So is God's behavior the Book of Job, His demand that Abraham sacrifice Isaac, Mosaic Law, and the sacrifice of His/er Son. Human lives are no more significant to God than the lives of ants are to humans. This whole history of Earth? It may not even be about us. Our entire species' history may just be part of the backdrop to something else, like two angels falling in love and reuniting Heaven and Hell, or like raccoons. It could all be about the raccoons. Who knows! All of this is absolutely 100% pure undiluted cosmic horror.

Right, okay, so back to Thesis 1: In Good Omens, Aziraphale's gift to the first man of the flaming sword is an objective God wants. Here's my chain of reasoning:

The Eating of the Fruit and God's punishment were both objectives of God. See above.

2. Once those objectives had been accomplished, humankind would not have survived outside the Garden of Eden without the sword. They literally would not exist at all.

Adam the First has to kill the lion, either to keep it from killing him and Eve or to keep him and Eve from starving. No flaming sword = no humanity.

3. We know "no humanity" is not God's Plan, because--

--God says her Plan is Armageddon and the Second Coming in 6,000 years. So humanity needs to exist for either of those to occur (or for there to be any reason for adventures about averting them to occur). And God does a whole Crucifixion and Resurrection of His/er Son. So God wants humanity around and is even prepared to welcome them back into His/er grace, providing they meet certain conditions.

4. We know God is not displeased about Aziraphale's gift of the sword to humans because God asks Aziraphale about the sword, and Aziraphale lies and says he's lost it, and God, who is omniscient and therefore knows this to be a lie and knows exactly where the sword is, lets the entire thing pass unremarked. (More on this anon.)

5. It is not a reach too far to suspect this of God. She tells us Herself that she is a trickster and that we can't trust her not to deceive us:

She also tells us

i. The universe is a game she is playing for her own amusement:

🎵cosmic horror alerrrrrrrrrt!🎵🎶

ii. No one, including angels and demons, has been told the real rules of this game:

"FOR EVERYONE ELSE." Not just humans.

That's why Crowley and Aziraphale each have to wonder if they've done the right or the wrong thing: nobody's told them what the rules are. Aziraphale even thinks that Crowley's temptation of Eve is "all part of the Plan," i.e, that Crowley did the right thing by doing the wrong one. They have no way to tell, and it may be both right and wrong at the same time. (Wrestling with impossible moral conundra raised by a brief look into a story happening on a much greater level than your own? You could be suffering from our old pal Thesis 2: Good Omens is cosmic horror!)

So Aziraphale's Promethean gift to humanity was one of God's objectives, just as cursing humans and yeeting them out of the Garden with the knowledge of Good and Evil and maybe a couple apple seeds in hand was His/er objective.

BONUS! Thesis 3: So why does God bring up Aziraphale's misappropriation of the sword at all? To show us, the audience, that Aziraphale lied to Her and that his gifting of the sword to Adam is part of Her Plan.

Remember from her whole deal with the Tree: God likes to set up situations so that She can react to them. Here she lampshades her awareness of what Aziraphale has done, listens to him lie to Her about it, and then very pointedly does nothing in response to that. She wants everyone watching--i.e., Aziraphale and us--to note that she has noticed the transfer of the sword and is not displeased by it and has noticed the lie and is not going to do anything about that either.

Remember as well, God is the one controlling the narrative we see in S1 of Good Omens. She introduces and concludes the story, and she narrates the scenes of the baby-swap. She's in control of which scenes we see and the order in which we see them. Since she is the one who asked Aziraphale the question about the sword, she's also responsible for this scene's existence.

So why do I think this scene is meant for us and not Aziraphale? Two reasons. Firstly, the conversation with God doesn't do Aziraphale any good. He worries about eventually getting in trouble about the sword until 2019, around 6,000 years later.

God is both omniscient and omnipotent, so it's not possible that She failed to communicate to Aziraphale in such a way that would ease his anxiety. Therefore the conversation was not for his benefit. Again, she's omniscient, so it wasn't for Her benefit either. That leaves the only other party to this conversation: us. The audience.

The next obvious question is, Why does God want us to know that Aziraphale's gift of the flaming sword was both of his free will and part of Her Plan?

I don't know. But I think it may become important, and here is where we delve into hypothesis territory: I think Good Omens is going metafictional. I mean this in a Doki Doki Literature Club, Black Mirror: Bandersnatch way: God, the character in Good Omens, is telling us, the audience, a story.

This metafictional aspect has been with us the whole time---more precisely since 01:13 of S1E1, when God switches from third-person to first-person and addresses us the viewers directly:

And there are several more metafictional; notes in S1 and S2 that I've found so far:

Season 1

That giant eyeball up there floating in space with a bunch of arcane shit around it is a reference to the opening credits sequence of The Twilight Zone, a metafictional show in which an omniscient narrator introduces and concludes each story by addressing the audience directly.

S1E1 27:20

Season 2

1. Maggie and Nina are fictional characters, but the characters share their names with actors Maggie Service and Nina Sosanya.

2. The final credits sequence, with the split screen showing Crowley on one side and Aziraphale on the other, references David Tennant and Michael Sheen's previous/simultaneous lockdown tv series project, Staged! which is intensely metafictional and in which Tennant and Sheen play characters based on themselves and with their names.

3. Sloppy plot synopsis or something more sinister?

4. An interviewer points out that Good Omens references Doctor Who as an extant concern in-universe, which obviously stars David Tennant in the past and currently.

If you find more, please drop them in the comments!

We the audience, are meant to understand ourselves and our reality as being indirectly involved in this story. And God wants us to know 1) that Aziraphale lied to Her about giving away the sword, knowing it was futile, and 2) that his gift of the flaming sword was part of Her Plan. The former is a major character note, and probably a foreshadowing one; but I have no guesses about God's purpose in showing us that the gift of the flaming sword was also to Plan except that whatever it is will probably make me dislike Her approach to parenting even more than I already do.

What I do love about this though is that it suggests that Crowley and Aziraphale both did the right thing by doing the wrong one, i.e. achieved a kind of Schroedinger's obedience, which is nice and disturbing and surprise! pretty cosmic horror. More sweetly, though, it suggests that the two foundational gifts to humanity from the divine were motivated by Crowley's low-effort mischief and Aziraphale's kindheartedness, which is lovely to think about.

DO NOT TAG NEIL GAIMAN IN ANY POST THAT INCLUDES OR REFERENCES THIS ESSAY.

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens god #good omens metafiction #good omens cosmic horror #good omens flaming sword

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eldritch-spouse · 8 months

Note

Okay... I have an idea

Icons walking into their Queen in the Dungeon while she is crushing a prisoners head with her heels. When she notices them she just smiles with flowers and shit while a her clothes have minor (major in her heels case) blood stains.

Bonus if its because the Queen is short and someone teased her about it so she is releasing her rage by watching a prisoner die because they were under her.

TW: Gore.

Vesper asks what you're doing in the dungeons. It's hardly a pretty place for someone like you, you're above that. Although, seeing the pleasure written all over your features, if he's failed to bring enough violence into the bedroom, you simply only needed to tell Vesper. He'll make sure things are a lot more to your tastes next time! Now, can he have the absolute delight of licking you clean?

Rinx sighs in relief. He doesn't like his possession treasure out of sight. If you wanted to play around here, why not tell him? He flicks whatever bits of gore clings to your upper body away and shakes his great head. The prisoners have nothing you can take from them except their lives. If you wish to steal away their last moments alive, then do so by all means, just warn him of where you are next time.

Vorticia snickers. That's a waste of perfectly good slop for the pets, you know? In fact, some of the dungeon guards delight in feeding prisoners to each other as torture. So really, she's volunteering to help you find some other skulls to bash. But first, the Queen's grabbing that gory mess you made and sliding it down her gullet. Come on, you clearly need more stimulus, you remind her of her teenage kids.

Zizz wonders why you left the bed to do this. You must be really upset. A mind without proper rest is unstable, you wouldn't be playing in muck if you were well. Zizz is at least happy that you seem to know your way around the dungeons. He'll ask what has you so upset even as he starts readying a bath for you.

Cero groans. Really? He can't leave you alone for two seconds you're already getting grime all over your heels? Sincerely, you're like a child. He drags you away by the arm and has you change clothes, that set is being trashed immediately now that it's been dirtied with peasant gore. You can explain you were defending your pride, which will at least make the King understand your ire, but he's still mostly upset about the damage to your outfit.

Livius joins in. No questions no problems, just lands a hit to that prisoner with tenfold the force of yours, reducing them to a pulp. That was fun! You're so angry! What's happening! He's angry too, why not check the other cells?

Kalymir is thanking whatever cosmic power is out there to allow him this view. It's one he's currently burning into the forefront of his brain and furiously pumping his cock to. He doesn't even stop when you look at him, just motions to the prisoner with his free hand as if you aren't quite done yet. At some point, the King moves closer, panting against the top of your head, inhaling the gore, your fury- You're quickly dragged into the next cell.

#Cero oc #Vesper oc #Zizz oc #Rinx oc #Kalymir oc #Vorticia oc #Livius oc

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princessdemo · 1 year

Text

tomorrow - trent alexander arnold

massive thanks to @cosmic-parker for coming up with the idea and helping me out! i luv you <333 first fic of 2023? wtf- most likely the only fic with how slow i am- hope you enjoy, lots of love, demoooo 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Where are you, baby? Trent types as he soundlessly, but with a slight scamper, strides down the corridor.

He knows he shouldn’t be doing it. And if his best man-the title which caused an abundance of disagreements amidst Andy Robertson, Tyler and Marcel Alexander-Arnold found out he was doing this- it would conclude with an mixture of profanity words. But he’s decided to listen to his heart this time, rather than his head. Taught by his mother- whom was the significant woman in his life, other than you, who is the one tightening his tie tomorrow, fixing his collars as he cries his nervousness for the special day.

Tomorrow was the wedding day of you both. The day you finally would express your love towards each other, not that you don’t every day, though this time in the form of a selection of Vows, drafted by you both. Tomorrow isn’t a day like any other. It’s the moment where your world stops, and for a second, you don’t forget how lucky you are. Trent’s mind had been like a rollercoaster, his emotions mixed all over the place. Even months before the wedding, the boy had been pacing around your house, making sure everything was organised. The final weeks before the day, he’d find himself making silly mistakes during training, or questioning his teammates about how their day to remember proceeded. The man was so in love with you, and that’s why he wants to make sure you know- for the last time as his fiancé.

Your phone buzzes on top of the bathroom counter next to the sink. Just as you’d finished brushing your teeth and wiping your mouth clean with a towel, the screen brightens and a notification pops up.

A giggle leaves your lips as you read the message, heart pounding at the words displayed. A text from Trent voicing ‘where are you?’ makes you shake your head. A deep breath leaving exhaling your nose.

‘In my room, just finished cleaning my teeth. You, okay?’ You type, before placing your phone into your hoodie pocket- selected from a certain scouser’s wardrobe. Claiming if you wasn’t going to be in each other’s presence for at least 24 hours- you’d need something of each other’s.

Not a minute later, your phone is vibrating, causing you to hastily have the gadget back in your hand, eyes glazing over the text.

‘I’m good- just couldn’t sleep. What are you doing now?’

You skim over the dialogue, eyes fixated onto the screen as your hand reaches to turn of the bathroom light. Stepping out of the room, you head towards your bed for the night, placing yourself on top of the sheets to type your response.

‘About to sleep T. My eyes are half dozing as I send this message.’ You note, before switching of your device and placing it aloft the bedside table, slipping into the warmth of the bed sheet. In the twinkling of an eye, the screen pops back on with a flash- lighting up the room. Beside you, laid Rachel Robertson, scrolling through her social media or likely questioning her parents how her children had been. Undoubtedly, herself and Andy were delighted to both be such meaningful positions on yours and Trent’s special day. The four of you spending many days off, switching between either houses, though they were down the road, catching up. The females chuckling at their foolish partners mannerisms. Partly, they were both ecstatic about the idea of having a small break from their children, the young Robertson’s could be a handful at times.

‘Come meet me? In the lobby?’ The message Trent sends presents, inducing a sigh to pass your lips. You tilt your head in the direction of Rachel, weighing up your options. Your head is demanding you to acquiesce with the wedding tradition of not seeing your partner 24 hours before the momentous day. However, something inside you is tempting you to see him.

Eyes peering back to the beaming screen, your fingers type, ‘Trent.’ Lip gnawing in anticipation.

Three dots appear within a flash, replying back to your response.

‘Please baby, I need my goodnight kiss.’ Trent declares, coaxing a smile to form upon your face, cheeks rising with heat.

And this is what persuades you to slide out the bed and slip your trainers on, briskly texting the scouser you’d meet him in 5 minutes. Tying your laces, Rachel grabs your attention-

“Where are you going?” She questions, pupils scanning over yourself- fitted with a pair of joggers, a hoodie of Trent and some trainers.

Beckoning your head within her direction- a puzzled emotion displayed from the Scot. Clearing your throat, you respond. “Just going to head down to the lobby for a minute, grab some water- my head wont shut off.”

She doesn’t interrogate your choices, though you grasped that she knew your response was untruthful, due to your fast pace tone of voice and an even more perplexed expression. She wasn’t going to argue with you over your special day, so attempting to modify your decision was out of her books.

“Okay, don’t be too late.” She smiles, before looking back at phone. That’s your signal to vacate the bedroom and find the scouser waltzing the corridors for you so desperately. “I wont be,” you shake your head, heading towards the door of your hotel room.

Fixed in the hallway of the residence for the night, your eyes scan the walls for a sign leading towards the lobby. To your right, you see an arrow facing the stairs leading to the ground floor, where you supposed your lover would be waiting for you.

Trudging down as you follow the commands stated in front of you, taking a left around the corner where the stairs were located, your body collides with another- a bulked, muscular physique as your head thuds into their chest, a groan leaving your side from the impact.

Your vision leaves the individuals warmth and your eyes glisten up to face the other in front of you.

“Sorry- Oh, T, Hi.” You smile, a slight shock to of seen him so soon.

Trent chuckles at your wonder and bewilderment, bringing his hand up to tickle the hairs at the nape of his neck. “Hi sweet.”

Sight observing a state of anxiousness, you bring your hand to stroke the apple of his cheek, the soft skin warming to your touch. “You alright?” You nod.

Trent sighs, eyes fixating towards the ground. “I’m nervous,” puckering his lips.

Your eyes scrunch in confusion, a tinge of sadness for the scouser makes you want to cuddle him until he cannot breathe. “For what? Talk to me?” you guide.

His eyes still beckon over the sight of your shoes, glued to surface of the carpet. A deep inhale is followed by an breathily exhale. “Everything. Tomorrow, becoming your husband- what if I'm not good enough, the-“ He notes as you cut him off.

“Trent,” You take his larger hand in yours, thumb fondling over the palm. “Come on, what’s making you think like this?” you question.

“I don’t know really. You are so special, and the only girl that’s made me the happiest man ever, I just don’t want to mess things up.” He replies softly. Making your heart thud immensely.

You lean in to peck his lips, a slight tinge of alcohol still present that you knew would be encouraged by his teammates, much to Hendo’s disagreement. As you pull away, your eyes meet his, “Let’s go for a walk outside hm, a bit of fresh air is probably needed.”

The pair of you make it outside, the cold temperature demanding you to snuggle close to each other, the attraction of warmth too pleasurable. You notice a bench in the distance, dragging the 5ft 9 male in the direction of the seating. You both take seat, the view presenting a small lake, lighten by a street lamp.

Your hands never lost contact, the touch becoming comforting to you both. Something one may have required more than the other.

“Talk to me.” You start, your body turning to face the man next to you, in less than 24 hours, you could finally call him your husband, something you had always dreamt of as a little girl.

Trent shrugs, “Just nervous, yknow? Like I don’t want to mess tomorrow up. Its our day, and I know you have been waiting for something so magical since forever.”

Your eyes widen at his words, lip jittering out in despair, “Hey, you aren’t going to ruin tomorrow okay. Its going to be the best day of our lives. Well, I hope it will live up to the champions league final. But I do know that it is going to be immense. You have nothing to worry about.” You nod.

This time Trent’s bringing your face as approach to his, lips meeting yours with an instance. “I love you.” To which you reply back, “I love you too.”

“If anything, I should be the one stressing. What if I fall over in my dress? My shoes, no idea how I'm going to walk in those?” You both share a laugh, Trent hand clutching yours tighter.

“Remember when you had too much to drink at Ox’s birthday party?” you shake your head at his words, eyes closing in embarrassment at your actions. “I even had to hold your shoes when we were leaving cause’ your feet were so sore.”

“That’s going to be me tomorrow.” Tucking your head into Trent’s lap, raising it after his next response.

Trent smiles, “We’ve had some eventful times together.”

Your eyes light up at his words, floods of memories coming back to you. “Remember our first date?”

Now it’s Trent’s turn to shake his head, “When we got mobbed by fans? Can’t say that’s what I had in mind.” He tucks you closer into his chest.

“Still ended the night well though, first kiss in Maccies carpark is unforgettable.” You chuckle.

“The boys still take the piss out of me every time I walk into the changing rooms, should’ve lied and said the night went so smooth- rather than letting them know we ended up stuffing our faces with burgers and fries.”

You gasp, “Can’t believe you went against your dietary requirements. Shocking that!”

Trent chuckles under his breath, “Listen!” His voice raises with the intention of proving his point. “It was me day off, give it a rest babe.”

You giggle at his words, hand leaving his to cover your mouth. “Alright, alright.”

“Now its me turn to tell one of my favourite memories about us.” Trent starts, “Remember when I took ya to see me mural? And ya said you preferred Hendo’s more?”

Covering your eyes in mock shame, “I cant lie, Hendo’s looking pretty good in that painting.”

Trent gasps at the verbalisation he’s heard, “You being serious? He’s a dad!”

The trees in the setting swayed in line with the wind. The breeziness making goose bumps raise upon your skin attributable to the sharp, nail biting cold. Both were snuggled against one another, Trent’s arm perched upon the lower part of your back.

You pull your phone out of your pocket, the pair of you scanning through your camera roll, snickering and yapping about old pictures.

“Aww, you recall this?” Nudging the phone into his hands, the bottom of your back adjusting to the loss of tepidity from the man beside you.

“Of course, I do. One of me favourite moments in my career.” He smirks. “I remember twitter went mad after it. Wanted to show me love and appreciation towards ya in the form of my cherished platform.” Trent responds.

One of the first games you made an appearance to support your partner in, ended with a mass of messages and a collection of butterflies whooshing within your stomach. Trent had decided his next goal occurred would see him performing with a love heart into the crowd. The direction was to yourself and ended with a smile never parting from your features.

“On another note. You are wearing a tie which matches the flowers tomorrow right? No red for Liverpool-“

Trent shakes his head at your mannerisms, rolling his eyes. “Robbo suggested it. Hendo’s sorted it out though. They are both buzzing for me to get married. Jordan keeps saying his son’s growing up.”

A blush creeps over your cheeks, and you couldn’t help the small laugh that followed. When it came to Hendo and Trent. Their friendship was inseparable, similar to him and Andy, though, The age on Henderson made himself perform a father-like figure towards Trent throughout his career. It settled your nerves knowing he had someone to offer love and ease when you weren’t around. Especially times when he was outside of Liverpool, away from you for handful of days, he could struggle. It calmed your nerves knowing he had that someone, and Jordan was more than happy to play that role.

You take a deep breath, “I can’t believe tomorrow is actually the day, finally calling myself an Alexander-Arnold.” A soft grin arising. “Wonder what your vows are going to be like..” You question, lips puckering in the sense of curiosity.

“Me vows? Going to be absolutely breath taking. Worked me arse off writing this essay.” He teases, pressing a peck to your lips.

Shoulders shaking at his response, nodding intensively. Sometimes he did come out with some berserk statements. But it made you love him more and more each day.

Trent grabs your hands into his own, shuffling so you are facing each other, now separated from your snuggled position. He stands up from the bench, fleetly rubbing his hands on his jeans to remove any creases, before placing them back into yours. He nods, “Listen, let me act out how tomorrow is going to go.” He starts, as you giggle. “So, we say our vows- blah blah blah, mine will be the most emotional, heartfelt-“

“Woah.” You stop him, disagreeing with his opinion of his own. “What?” you exclaim.

“Shh, baby. You are interrupting my performance.” Trent snarls, raising a finger to his lips as a visual instruction for you to listen. He starts again, “So we do the vows, astounding the crowd as I do.” You roll your eyes, as he contuines. “I’ll grab the ring, then place it on your finger like this-“ He takes your hand, holding your ring finger in his own, and pretends to slip a ring on. Your heart flutters at his gestures, hand raising to your heart in a state of awe.

“Then once you have done the same for me, and its time to kiss.” He pulls you up from the bench, a thrilling rush flowing through your system, heart pulsating out your chest. “I’ll lean in like this, hopefully me mum’s crying so much she doesn’t see much or ya dad isn't watching for my sake.” He guides your head to face his own, a finger tickling your lower chin. A smirk emerges, as you snake your arms round his neck. He reaches to move the unwanted baby hairs, flourished around your face, tucking them behind your ears.

Trent leans into your features, lips softly attaching your own, moving at a sweet pace, nothing too heavy. He pulled away gently, catching his breath, “Need too,” a second kiss, “Get in,” lips hoover over yours, “as many kisses as possible,” allowing a small amount of tongue to slide in, skimming the tip. “As after tonight,” He presses a kiss to your cheek, “The next will be as husband and wife.” Planting a final smooch to your forehead.

“Trent?” You breathe.

“Mhm.”

“Lets get married baby.”

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theresattrpgforthat · 5 months

Note

hello! i was wondering if theres any ttrpgs set in/inspired by Terry Pratchett's Discworld? thanks :)

THEME: Discworld

I love the Discworld books and I'm very glad you asked this question. I have three resources for you!

A One In A Million Chance At Adventure, by Jocher Symbolic Systems.

This is a game where you play the roles of, often unwilling, sometimes zealous, pawns in the cosmic octarine coloured narrative. Your character is not necessarily a "hero" per se, instead one could possibly see it as being important to the story. Characters like yourself do have a knack for not dying as often as a common mortal (or undead if that has been your unfortune).

With this follows that you'll naturally have a higher chance of actually, possibly, doing some heroic deeds, just by sheer mathematical logic. Unless, of course, you are the type of adventurer who'd prefer a cup of hot tea and soft slippers and a reliable day job.

That does severely reduce the odds of let's say beheading a mythical beast of ill repute or befriending the immodest wood nymphs of Howondaland*.

*if your day job happens to be for example a tax collector this is not true, this and similar careers have shown to increase the risk of leaving the disc rather early. ** only rumoured, no one who has gone looking for them has ever returned.

This is a free, fan-made d10-based game written in the style of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels, footnotes and all. The characters you build are expected to be flawed in some way - they have vices that can cause problems for them and plenty of skills (or spells) to help them get out of trouble.

A One in A Million Chance At Adventure has plenty of supplements to support the game, including an introductory adventure: The Murder of Dominick Kolchak, and a character supplement: The A-M Professions Character Build Guides.

Discworld Roleplaying Game, by Steve Jackson Games.

There's a lot of unusual stuff on the Disc, but don't worry about getting lost – game author Phil Masters has crafted a roadmap to Pratchett-inspired storytelling.

Visit settings like the most dubious city in the multiverse, Ankh-Morpork. Intervene in the cultural interactions of trolls and dwarves (but watch out for flying axes). Campaign for goblin rights. Flee from an angry Swamp Dragon (two feet of mindless fury and high-explosive digestion). Even find out why the second-greatest lover on the Disc needs a stepladder.

And remember, the world is round. And also flat.

This is the official roleplaying game published by Steve Jackson Games, the creators of Munchkin and GURPS - which means that this game also uses the GURPS system. Characters are pretty in-depth and require some time to put together - and that means the the core rulebook is a pretty hefty read. If you like big games with heavy modularity and a lot to chew on, maybe this game is for you!

If you want to try the game out and need a little help, there’s a GURPS Character sheet app available to help you put characters together, and Chris Normand is an avid enthusiast with many videos providing advice on how to get a grip on the system.

The Kleptomancer’s Crypt, by Max Kāmmerer.

The Kleptomancer’s Crypt is an adventure for Troika!, but is easily adapted to other systems. It mostly consists of tables to help you generate a variable adventure. Improvisation and interpretation by the GM required.

A client hired you to break into the Kleptomancer’s Crypt and so you did. Now you need to get out of the place. The Kleptomancer is a government official tasked with redistributing the wealth by stealing from the rich and keeping what they stole for themselves. Okay, that last part isn’t in the official job description. The Crypt is filled with all kinds of strange things and rooms and people, really. You might for example encounter pipe smoking sloths, boardgame playing plants, ever expanding spheres or the Kleptomancer’s apprentice. The place is dangerous, so you prepared by cutting a deal with death, preventing you from dying while you are in the Crypt.

To be clear, this is not a full game. It is simply an adventure for one.

The eclectic tone of Troika fits Discworld so well that I’m not at all surprised that there is an adventure made for it. If you have experience with Troika, or even with other OSR games, you might want to check this one out.

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #dnd #asks #game recommendations #discworld #gnu terry pratchett

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holocene-sims · 2 months

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next // previous

august 26, 2021 12:50 a.m. square-k convenience store

[yunha] first of all, i would want dr. pepper.

[yunha] i don’t like sodas that much, but i love dr. pepper. it’s the kfc of sodas.

[grant] 11 secret herbs and spices? but liquid?

[yunha] exactly! it’s like cola and not cola, root beer and not root beer, spicy and not spicy.

[yunha] maybe it sounds dumb, but...

[grant] no, no, not at all! honestly, you're doing big-brain science over there, decoding all the flavors.

[grant] have you heard of hot dr. pepper?

[yunha] what?

[grant] hot dr. pepper. it’s a thing, i swear! like a sixties thing but some people are still into it. i'm not making it up.

[grant] and speaking of coffee and hot dr. pepper, one of my aunts drinks it in the morning instead of coffee.

[yunha] that’s so strange. why hot?

[yunha] won't it just lose the carbonation?

[grant] i don't know, i don't really want to partake in drinking it, but if i were a betting man, i would say yeah, that's probably the outcome.

[grant] anyway, continue! dr. pepper. i respect that. great choice. i'm loyal to faygo but i do fuck with dr. pepper.

[yunha] how can i continue after that sudden trauma?

[grant] would you like me to procure you a cold dr. pepper to rinse out the agony?

[yunha] no, it's okay!

[grant] well, the offer is still on the table! i'm not evil.

[yunha] anyway, the last part of my meal would be seolleongtang.

[grant] oh, that's ox bone stew, isn't it?

[yunha] yes! it's not even my favorite food, but if i knew my expiration date, i'd want to prepare it and eat it one more time.

[grant] why choose that then?

[yunha] it reminds me of my family. we had some, hm, difficult times, and i remember my dad making this for us, especially for my mom to improve her mood. it's actually her favorite food.

[grant] that's very sweet. like beyond sweet. it's more about invoking that feeling of love again than the literal food, yeah?

[yunha] of course. i would like to feel that love again and also share it, and thank my parents for everything.

[yunha] i wouldn't need anything else.

[grant] you really love your family.

[yunha] more than anything.

[yunha] okay, now tell me your final meal!

[grant] i can tell you the ideal one would not be as humble as yours.

[grant] i mean, my logic for myself is, like, alright, i'm about to slowly turn back into cosmic dust, with or without a consciousness somehow floating around the universe, so screw it, do whatever.

[grant] i'm already going "home," so why not go big?

[grant] so, it’s my last day on earth. i'm at my place chilling with my cat.

[yunha] you have a cat?

[grant] his name is turtle. he’s very cute. he wears sweaters. he was a stray. i picked him up years ago from underneath a dumpster at IHOP at two in the morning, and i nursed him back to health.

[yunha] aww, i always wanted a cat. like some cuddly, fat, fluffy cat.

[grant] you should get one! i highly recommend it.

[yunha] i can’t! not yet.

[grant] do you want to see a picture of turtle before i imagine my untimely death? funny, i was just saying to someone else earlier that i want a timely one.

[grant] there he is, right on my home screen.

[yunha] oh my goshhhhh, i love him.

[grant] he's the best. no joke. but again, last meal. turtle and i are chilling, and yeah.

[grant] i absolutely have to have my grandma’s macaroni and cheese. it’s perfection and also my favorite food of all time. uhh, let’s see, i think you almost always need potatoes with a meal. i'd be happy with my grandma’s colcannon, like mashed potatoes and cabbage. what else? i mean, not to talk about coffee again, but i do love it, so maybe a vanilla latte for liquid consumption. oh, and fuck, coconut cake is a must. that’s my grandma’s recipe, too

[grant] i'd also have pizza for sure. pineapple is nonnegotiable, it's going on there. pineapple, pepperoni, the whole works.

[yunha] so, you’re a big fan of dairy products and your grandma?

[grant] that about sums it up!

[yunha] did you, like, grow up on a dairy farm?

[grant] no, but my grandma did!

[yunha] ah, i see. it's all connected.

[yunha] so, you like talking about death?

[grant] i don't. it just seems to come up a lot accidentally.

[grant] but really, i asked you this question because it's just, i don't know, an interesting way to get at people's values in life?

[grant] and it was just what came out of my mouth first.

[yunha] we answered kind of similarly. what did you learn about me?

[grant] same values, different approaches, i'd say.

[yunha] by the way, my other value is pineapple belongs on pizza.

[grant] oh, thank god! finally, someone else agrees!

[yunha] corn is also really good as a topping.

[grant] man, i feel deprived now. where have you been the last thirty years? you could have told me such a feat of engineering exists!

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 storytelling #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #this was inspired by the mythical kitchen last meal videos and also this one video i saw years ago that asked the 36 love questions #to people on a first date/making first impressions #also i love creating characters who can be weird together #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: yunha

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tobiasdrake · 6 months

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Okay, so I finally got around to watching Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero the other day, brought to you by the same people who came up with the name Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan.

Bulma's shameless, confident vanity continues to reinforce why she's the best character in Dragon Ball.

I need everyone to understand that this might actually be the funniest moment in the whole franchise. It's silly on its surface, but it's also steeped in Dragon Ball history. You can feel Piccolo dying inside, and there's a reason for that that goes much deeper than third-party embarrassment over Bulma's shallownness.

Bulma's cosmic butt-lift is a continuation of a gag from Broly (the good version). In that film, it was established that Bulma routinely uses the Dragon Balls to knock a few years off her age, for the sake of vanity. This was contrasted against Frieza's desire to use the Dragon Balls to add a couple inches to his height, for the sake of vanity.

Both of which are resurrections of the gag from the Red Ribbon Army arc, where Commander Red brought militant warlord violence to all corners of the world to claim the Dragon Balls for himself... so he could make himself taller. Using limitless cosmic power for petty and shallow reasons is a funny joke that Toriyama's fond of.

But this isn't just about the shallowness. It's about Piccolo. Or, more specifically, the other half of Piccolo that is Kami-sama. Dragon Ball is steeped in religious and mythological imagery, primarily Buddhist. A fantasy spin on it with a lot of fictional elements added, but there is a lot of genuine Japanese spirituality in there. Which is why God Almighty is now walking around as one half of Piccolo, with a substitute God ruling from his Temple in Heaven in his place.

During his reign, God gifted the Dragon Balls to mankind so that they would have a cosmic miracle they could turn to in times of great need. Shenron was meant as a great gesture of benevolence; The difficulty in summoning him is to serve as a particularly grueling trial, one that only the most determined and most worthy could fulfill.

However, that didn't exactly go to plan. Rather than a source of hope for the world, the Dragon Balls became objects of lust for its greediest and most corrupt. Near-limitless reality-shaping power to grant any miracle one could ask for, wasted on petty ambitions and selfish desires. God regretted ever making this cursed things.

When Piccolo killed Shenron and destroyed the Dragon Balls, God's response was basically, "Good riddance." The Dragon Balls were a mistake he could now take back. He had no intention of ever remaking them.

But then Goku defeated Piccolo. Goku ascended into Heaven to implore God to return the Dragon Balls to earth. Goku's pure innocence, his kindness, and his strength of character convinced God that there was good in the Dragon Balls. That they were worth remaking and returning to the mortal world below.

And now. Here he stands.

With this woman. The woman who utterly trivialized his great heavenly trial by inventing a handheld radar that beep-beeps all of the Dragon Balls' locations for you, allowing them to be easily collected in the span of a weekend excursion.

Watching her call upon his great reality-shaping miracle, so that she can get a butt-lift and slightly longer eyelashes.

While strongly insinuating that she does this every time the Dragon Balls regenerate. This is the legacy of his cosmic miracle.

Bulma is the greatest heretic in the history of fiction. That is why Piccolo is dying inside. This joke killed me. Almost as hard as Piccolo visibly wants to kill Bulma right now.

#dragon ball #dragon ball super super hero #bulma #piccolo

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gojos-thot-patrol · 7 months

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HIIII how have you been?? <33

Candy here, and dear lord have you heard about a star being named after satoru?? Literally, my first thought about it is that should tell this news to you and maybe request (if you’re not doing anything and up to writing rn) because i thought this star will really spread heart-wrenching fanfictions about him, something related to a star with satoru, i kept thinking about him and sugu and stars defining their fate.. sorry this is so vague, tell me if you want details hihi,

hope you’re doing so finee, have some candy babes 🫶🫶

CANDY HELLO DARLING HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!

They named a Star after out boy?!?!?!?!? I'm gonna be emotional-

Okay okay, so I am currently working on kinktober BUT I'm gonna take a break here and wrote a lil warm up for you for two reasons.

The opening line to the fic instantly came to me and I couldn't not wrote a drabble at least

once you're one of my named anons or moots, you get special treatment <3

That being said, I call this one

Starlight.

When you first saw Satoru Gojo, you could have sworn whatever higher power there was put the stars in his eyes by hand, carefully and meticulously placing the celestial sparkles to make the most breathtaking eyes you had ever seen.

You saw galaxies when he laughed, constellations connect when he smiled, you were sure your heart exploded into a thousand celestial galaxies when he finally asked you out. You had fallen in love with Astraeus himself.

The only person Gojo seemed to love even half as much as he loved you was Suguru. The two boys beyond inseparable. Suguru would talk about astrology and you could see the celestial bodies in Gojo's eyes dazzle with adoration. You couldn't blame him. Suguru had a charm to him that made it impossible not to fall into his orbit. It only felt natural when Gojo suggested Suguru officially join your relationship.

You remembered the countless nights you had spent cuddled between your loves, watching movies until the early morning light. You remembered how in love Suguru was with the moon and how fascinated was with the stars. Spending entire nights out under the glittering sky on full moon evenings, dancing and laughing and falling in love.

You remembered the first time you saw the luminaries in Gojos eyes explode, marking the inevitable heat death of your universe. When word of Suguru's betrayal came out. You saw entire galaxies collapse in real time as he coped with what felt impossible. It wasn't the last time you saw the black holes form there.

You though they would never glimmer again after Suguru died, By Gojos own hands no less. You didn't spend the nights under the stars anymore. Instead they were spent at home, with him curled into your side. The stars weren't in his eyes anymore, they were glimmering in his tears. Nothing you did seemed to help. He needed time.

He slowly recovered, though his eyes never dazzled quite as bright as they used to. He recovered, and you recovered with him. He found joy in new things. In raising his son Megumi, in teaching and leading his kids to creating a new world for Jujutsu Society. He found a purpose beyond just being the strongest. You swore the stars in his eyes dazzled exactly how they did the first day you met him on the day he asked you to be his bride.

It was the last time you would ever see the stars. You remembered taking comfort in the soft glitter of his eyes when he told you he would win, and then feeling impossibly betrayed when he never came home. You couldn't cope. The sun had died, the universe had proven it's self to be cold and uncaring.

That is until you the full moon. It was weeks after Satoru's funeral, and by all means you had plans to just ignore it, finding it almost too painful without your darlings. And yet, once the time came, you found yourself drawn into it's orbit.

You swore you saw those stars smiling down at you. The ones you had fallen in love with all of those years ago. You just knew, some cosmic comfort assured you, Satoru was okay. You could hear Suguru in your heart. "Thank you, for fixing what I broke. I'll take care of it from here Darling."

You knew they were okay. And one day, you'd see them again. But for now, at least you still had Satoru's stars in your life. And if you ever missed him, you had the entire galaxy to remind you he was never truly that far away.

#warm up #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #suguru geto #gojo x reader #geto x reader #satosugu #satosugu x reader #gojo angst #geto angst #hurt/ only a little comfort #bittersweet #gojo x reader angst #geto x reader angst #jjk spoilers #Candy Anon 🍬🍫🍭

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katsigian · 6 months

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𝔚𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔗𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔠 ℌ𝔬𝔯𝔯𝔬𝔯 ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔗𝔯𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔄𝔯𝔢 𝔜𝔬𝔲?

I had the link to this quiz saved in my server, and I cannae remember where I found it. But it's fun and I really liked it, so I thought maybe others would want to do it too <3 While my OCs I picked for this are from cp77, you can pick any OCs from any setting. And, there's no pressure to share if you'd rather not. And and, if you'd rather not be tagged, let me know! Find the quiz here

@rindemption @noirapocalypto @spicyraeman @wilxfyre @kharonion @alphanight-vp @dekarios @quickhacked @swanfey @opaleyedprince @humberg @westealtoys @hibernationsuit @elvenbeard @aelyosos @lavinet @molochka-koshka @envergothash @feykiller @reapersynth @balverine2077 @thedeadthree @baldurians @wistereia @cyberpunkaddict @seluned @vanoefucks @mercymaker @togepies @florbelles @devilbrakers @hazellblogs @peaches-n-screem @djfatchip @cetra @leota-nexus @edictofbane @strafethesesinners @shellibisshe @thefrostyshepard @ronqueesha

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔴𝔬𝔩𝔣 // "there's something inside a werewolf that's sharp, thorns and barbs coiling up in tight knots of vine even on their best days. halfway through a conversation, you'll forget your happiness and the pain comes back in a flash. you never meant to, but the sharpness has done harm on your behalf. it's defensive. it's leftover artillery from a battle you spent so long fighting that it still doesn't feel like it's truly over, does it? you want so badly to be soft. to take the hand that you are offered instead of baring your teeth. and it might be hard to believe, but you are soft. you're the softest one out there. it'll just take a while to untangle those vines enough to know that very little is often life-or-death, and not everything touches to hurt."

Okay, tear him open then. This fits Valen a little too well; softness is something he was never allowed, mostly because it was wrung out of him at a young age. Softness meant inevitable pain and he very quickly learned that defensive hostility was the better option. Aggression keeps him safe, keeps him warm. Eventually, he does finally let his shoulders drop and his jaw un-tense, but it takes some time and a pair of very gentle hands to convince him to.

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔤𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔱 // "it's an odd thing, to feel so far from grounded and yet trapped, tethered, unable to escape. there's more you have to do! so why can't you move? i'm sure you have an answer to that, at the very least in the back of your mind. people love to say that ghosts hold grudges or haunt for revenge but they always get it wrong; you're stuck because something or someone chained you down and left you there. you try and reach out to all those bright people who pass through your life, but it rarely feels like it does much more than knock a cup off the table, blow some papers into the air. i need you to trust me- they see it. they're listening. they'll keep looking for you and, eventually, they'll be able to see you too."

Oh, they're supposed to go for the throat, I see. Vesper has always had to live under the shadow of his father, always been struggling to be his own person. But he can't fight genetics and his dad appears no matter how hard Vesper tries to be someone else. He's similar to a ghost - trapped in one place, wishing someone would finally truly see that he's himself and not his dad and that they would want him regardless.

𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔠𝔥 𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔢 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴𝔫 // "oh god. how did it come to this? to some extent, you've gone so far past your own idea of "human" that it must be kind of fun, right? maybe. i'm not sure. as an artefact of cosmic horror, you're wild and wacky and colourful and people are probably drawn to that, but you will never let them know you. the mystery intrigues for a while, but it'll wear everyone down. it'll wear you down, too. who are you? do you remember? are you so far gone that you can't go back? and maybe that's the most tragic thing of all- becoming so distorted in your identity, and for so long, that no matter how hard you want to return you can't ever seem to figure it out. but you've learned a vast amount up in the stars, and people will work hard to get to know you. it doesn't matter who you used to be. sometimes, you should just start from scratch: give yourself a name, a birthday. let someone celebrate these things with you."

Gemini, you are so screwed up. He's new in Night City and one of the newer members of Archangel (a syndicate in my worldbuilding), but that's because he burnt his past life to the ground so resolutely that he doesn't really remember who he was. Gemini killed himself in a sense and has been trying to rebuild for so long that he ends up just picking up parts from other people that he likes. What he really wants is someone to tell him they love him even though he's unfinished and they know his heart is true.

#i was surpised but very pleasantly #valen sitting there like that one pikmin meme “i'm werewolf?”#you're not but symbolically you are for like ten minutes just roll with it #cyberpunk oc #daywalker oc #vampire oc #cyberpunk 2077 #uquiz #tag game #tag games 💌#⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔳𝔢𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔯 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔞𝔴 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋#⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔞𝔴 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋#⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫//𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔢 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋#⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔤𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔦/𝔰𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔶 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋

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cherish--these--times · 11 months

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Okay. BUCKLE UP.

To the people who say that we have no media literacy because we hoped til the very end that Ted and Rebecca would end up together: you can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Recently, Hannah W. declared: "Is there chemistry beyond friendship? Yes, I think they do have that as well."

But beyond that, there were A MILLION OTHER WAYS they could have done the last season (and arguably season 2) differently than what they did to avoid any ambiguity as to Ted and Rebecca's relationship. They could have had them hang out all the bloody time and be the rock solid best friends in the world. Ted and Rebecca were never more than friendly co-workers since season 1 ended. That BFF, platonic bullshit was never a thing. If that was true, Ted would have had NO PROBLEM hugging the shit out of her in the stands in the last episode when she begged him to stay. Or again in the airport. They would have gushed over how they made each other's life better and it would have been beautiful and moving and perfectly reasonable. Instead it was loaded with unsaid stuff between two people who never dared to get too close to one another. Keeley was Rebecca's rock. Beard was Ted's. Ted and Rebecca were something else. They were connected in unfathomable, cosmic ways. A perfect set up for a romcom, even if you dislike the idea.

But okay, playing the devil's advocate here, if the platonic soulmates shtick was always the intent (and I don't care what people think, I'm not sure it was), why not have them fall in love with other people early on but keep them as a tightly-knit tandem? Why keep them apart so much throughout the show and both single for most of it???? Why even establish they were born to meet then they never see each other again at the end?? Romance aside, what was the fucking point of that??

Let's address your fucking condescension, shall we? I'll tell you what media literacy fucking taught me:

That Rebecca immediately sensing Ted was having a panic attack, following him, and missing him by a hair, is a classic trick for lovers in a "right place, wrong time" kinda way. If they didn't want to leave any space for ambiguity, she would have found him, comforted him and took him to Dr Fieldstone's office herself without this need to overdramatise and make us long for said comfort that she was unable but clearly desperate to provide.

That Ted texting her for the first time on screen (15 times!!!) because he wanted to hang out at night in a foreign city JUST WHEN SHE LOSES HER PHONE IN A CANAL is a classic SEE ABOVE!! Fuck all of you, honestly.

That one half of the equation carrying a matchbook in his pocket the other half had been obsessing over for months means he is the answer to her romantic quest. And before you go and say that everyone got a matchbook that night, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT. They chose to show that Ted, of aaaaaaall the people in the restaurant that night, had been carrying Rebecca's hopes and dreams in his pocket THE ENTIRE BLOODY TIME. It was an intentional, purposeful decision. They decided to drop that hot potato later on but you can't blame us for thinking it would lead somewhere!

That one half of the equation carried a trinket in her bag the other half gave her YEARS BEFORE, means he is the one for her. Why? Because this was something he gave her to make her feel safe! Letting someone wonderful love her without fear of being safe was the thing she canonically admitted she was afraid of in a ROMANTIC relationship! The fact that the army man happened to be stuck in the green matchbook was frankly TAKING THE PISS.

That Ted's official love interest having admitted she disliked his puns and having Rebecca laugh at one of his puns IN THE SAME EPISODE is meant to convey she's the one and right under his nose!

That her love interest for the night unloading his marital struggles on her unprompted just like Ted did, loving the same songs as Ted and making her tea that had the same impact on her as Ted's first biscuits means that what she looks for in a partner is right under her nose!

That having her bump into Ted in a corridor and both sensing each other in a choreographed dance MOMENTS after Higgins gave her a whole ass speech about how psychics could help her see in herself what she's missing means IT WAS ALWAYS TED. Don't even get me started on the fact that during said speech, the pink biscuit box was very conveniently placed just behind the green matchbook! A speech about her not seeing something about herself?? Uh??? FUCK OFF.

That Rebecca being told she will have a family and have her instigate Ted getting closer to his son and gushing over his mother is a clear indicator that she would fit in the Lasso household like a glove!

That having Ted canonically never ask for help and Rebecca being the one who doesn't need him to because she always knows when he is unwell means she's framed as being the right person for him. She also uses a trick his EX-WIFE used in the past for that exact purpose.

That their baggage matching right up meant they would have been perfect for each other. His biggest fear is being abandoned and hers is ending up alone. Ted and Rebecca were the logical option for a couple. Ted even had to begrudgingly admit it worked for Jane and Beard. The only canonically happy couple at the end (and ain't that fucking mental...).

That having the line "Remember to let her into your heart" from the Hey Jude song coincide with Ted looking down at his phone and seeing Rebecca's name means that she's the woman he should allow himself to end up with.

Why keep them both single and desperate for love until the very last episode? Why not have Michelle beg Ted to come back and Dutch Guy find Rebecca thanks to newspaper clips about football in Holland 10 episodes ago and be done with it?? Why even not have Rebecca pine for him on screen ever since they parted ways??

Everything in this show was intentional. You can't marvel over this fact for everything BUT Ted and Rebecca and suddenly claim we read too much into things! We were played. Multiple times. At various degrees. And it doesn't take being a fan of the show to see it:

An LA Times journalist made an article about the hints and clues in the show after she interviewed TedBecca fans. And she BELIEVED IT. She got convinced. She told Hannah W. in an interview.

Another journalist on CBR.com (male, so you can shove your "desperate women wanting the straight couple to be together at the end" where the sun ain't shining) lamented the way the TedBecca shippers were treated.

Keep your passive-aggressive posts to yourselves. We've been dangled a carrot since day one and just because we never got to eat it doesn't mean it was never there.

#tedbecca #ted x rebecca #ted lasso spoilers

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